#song's spidey bullshit

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

Stranger Things Spiderman AU

There's pictures at the end

I got some ideas from the byler-centric one, but I kinda went hyperfocus mode on El and didn't sleep, so here it is.

I've decided that the kids are 16 when the story takes place, more or less arbitrarily.

Brenner was doing spider-related experiments. As I built out the story more, he's kind of in the place of Norman Osborne I think. Tbh I wasn't too worried about him being in character. He's at this point gotten several human subjects- the lab kids.

Brenner kind of raised El to think she was dangerous to the other kids for (insert whatever the fuck the canon reasoning was which is still beyond me) this is where she starts playing drums (bc I made her as Ghost Spider and Gen Stacey plays drums) Brenner days is so that she can "release all her psychic energy so she doesn't blow the building up" but really there's guards trained to check in if they hear the noise stop in case she escapes.

When Will and MJ/Mike are on a field trip, they find El and help her escape disguised as a student, while another spider lands on Will's jacket unbeknownst to them.

El and the other lab kids always wore plain black and white suits and sweaters, but after El sees Will painting, she gets inspired to customize hers with blue and red or pink (I haven't decided) webs.

El immediately stays with the Byers bc they're isn't the whole yk Will missing thing. I have a convo halfway planned where they decide her cover name is Elenor. Fight me.

El's telekinesis allows her to remain unseen when she starts out so she gets called "The Ghost Hero" until her spider emblem gets spotted, earning the name "The Ghost Spider"

Mikhail is Harry Osborne. Fight me.

Since Mikhail is here, I thought I'd include Enzo and somehow relate him to Oscorp. Most of them are scientists, but then I remembered a Spiderman villain called Rhino who isn't one and who could tie into the whole Spider-Super Soldiers plot.

Will and Mike childhood best friends -> dating, obviously.

I looked up Gwen Stacey (Spider Gwen/ Ghost Spider)'s band name- it's the Mary Janes. I decided to change it to the Mary Sues as a joke bc yk El has powers. Max is obv in the band as well but I haven't decided her instrument yet. I remember the MJs having just girls in the band, so maybe I can incorporate the Goth Girlfriend from Lenora High... or the Art Gfs tbh. I don't know yet whether Max should know about El's powers or anything or whether there's elmax, but I'm not really writing this writing this, so I can pick and choose what's canon by the day. Probably not since she's fresh out of the lab...

Click bc tumblr crops images.

So here's the story: Brenner has the kids in the lab, probably as part of some scheme to have spider super soldiers or something. They all wear plain white suits and plain black and white sweaters. They aren't very warm and don't have even pockets or drawstrings, they really just serve as identification. They also have on marks that are meant to protect them, but they're also intentionally impersonal and not very emotive to keep the kids from socializing. The original design is on the left, and next to it is two of my ideas for color schemes once El customizes it with the spider webs on the sweater sleeves and boots. Cyan with pink-y bright red webs or dark blue with baby pink webs. I also chose to add a heart to the face to make it more "her" and cute bc canon El has homemade hearts in her room, but I'm not sure about the placement. The back of the sweater also has a spider emblem.

Fun fact between all the designs and thumbnails and my app crashing I drew 36 webs :) I'm still not good at them :) I have SO much respect for comic artists that regularly draw Spiderman's web design in action shots repeatedly by hand how tf are some of y'all still alive?

Color scheme thumbnails+progress shoot from when I was going to have cyan highlights on the dark blue boots

I also gave El a secret identity and some civilian clothes! I have a halfway planned conversation of how her identity gets established that I might post later if anyone (read: me) cares enough. I tried to keep some aspects of El's own canon fashion but a little different from Will and Jonathan. I kept her layers and patterns (El's style had my heart) and a stylized version of the sports jersey inspired shirt that she wears at the end of S4. I think adding bracelets and wearing embroidered clothes is something she would do just because it's *more*. Putting more of herself out in stark contrast to her bland uniform. The capri jeans have a heart patch, a flower patch, and a star patch on the keg we can see and decorative top-stitching on the hems. The high top converse have a smiley patch on one and a heart patch on the other and her shirt is embroidered with scattered daisies. Her long striped undershirt (totally stolen from Max) is slightly inspired by Gwen's fingerless gloves looking design in next year's Spiderverse movie. "Long range spider sense" is listed in her powers and just means the weird telepathy grey area that canon El has as opposed to Will's Peter Parker-esque Spider Sense. I also gave her super strength because I wanted to.

On second thought she probably wears running shoes but oh well.

[webslingingslasher]

could you do angst -> fluff?

you and peter are long distance. someone sends you a picture of "peter" cheating. but the picture isn't peter.

Long distance relationships sucked. 

You may be biased, but you knew that long term relationships were the worst of them all. You’d put that in the same category as finding out you’ve been catfished for years. 

It could be worse, like Sadie and Dylan. Dylan moved across the country for school and watching your roommate go through the process of trying to set up date facetime calls, and scheduling calls between the hours of the night, made you feel like you didn’t have any say about yours. 

At least you and Peter were in the same time zone, he was only an hour and a half train ride away but it felt like lifetimes when for years you shared a school and zip code. You always had Peter around, and it’s very noticeable when he’s not. 

Imagine not being able to kiss your lover everyday, hold their body, or look in their eyes. 

Sadie smiled empathetically when Peter called, she got up to leave the room empty. Many times you’ve gotten out of bed at three am for a long bathroom break, you know that there are some things you tell Peter you’d never want anyone else to hear. You could extend that to Sadie as well. 

Peter’s voice was warm through the phone. 

“Hiya, baby.” 

You bit your bottom lip, too excited to keep it in. 

“Hi, handsome.” 

“Tell me three things from your day.” 

You paused to think, you knew this question would come up, you made a mental note of what to tell Peter. 

“So, the fat squirrel by park hall attacked this guy for his sandwich, and I know what you’re thinking, but that squirrel is fucking vicious. And, hm…” 

Peter shuffles around on his end. 

“Oh! My English professor is letting us have open notes midterm, and finally… I really, really missed you.” 

Peter gives you a soft chuckle, you wish you could see his face too. 

“I missed you too, also that fat squirrel? Next time I come down I wanna see him in person, pictures don’t do it justice.” 

When he comes down, he hasn’t visited in a month. Not that you can’t go see him, you make sure to take trips but he also has his aunt here, and he tries to do Spidey in the city as much as he can to keep questions to a minimum. 

“Two more, petey.” 

He hums on the line, you miss feeling his chest vibrate when he does it against your back. 

“I ate a salad for lunch,” 

“Bullshit.” You cough on the line. 

“Okay, listen here, stinky.” 

“Shots fired! I’ll hang up right now.” 

Peter whines, “you can’t! I have to tell you my third thing.” 

“Go on, I have a call to finish.” 

He scoffs, “rude, I was going to say that I may have found an out for my robotics midterm so hypothetically-” 

You squeal so loudly on the phone Peter pulls his own away from his ear, it was slightly obnoxious but knowing you were just as excited to see him made his heart melt. 

“Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes!” 

Peter gives you that boyish laugh, the one that makes your heart beat three times fast. 

“Baby, I didn’t even finish.” 

“You don’t have to! I know what you’re saying and I need you here so I can kiss your face and other stuff.” 

Peter’s tone drops seductively,  “oh? Like what other stuff?” 

“You want to see the fat squirrel right?” 

“The one in my pants?” 

“Oh my god.” 

“Okay, okay, so I was thinking I could come up on-” 

His name was called in the background, it made you pause for a second, he stopped talking for a minute. His name was called again, it was tilted, like a song almost, it was a female for sure. 

“Oh, peteyyy?” 

Your stomach dropped, that was your name for him. The name that he only liked you calling him, it was something that was so sacred and this person you don’t know saying it so loosely, like it’s regular. 

“Pete?” You say his name like you’re asking ‘who’s that?’ ‘why is she calling you that?’ ‘where are you, are you in your dorm?’ ‘why is there a girl in your room calling you my name?’ 

He coughs, “sorry, baby. I uh, I need to go but I’ll call you in a few hours, okay?” 

“Oh. Oka-” 

The line went dead. 

Your mind swimmed with dangerous thoughts, each one simmered down with the overwhelming echo that peter would never do anything like what a part of you is insinuating. Not to mention you were sure that he’d explain everything when he called you in a few hours, except when you sat around and waited, and waited, and waited, he never called. 

You fell asleep waiting on his call, you woke up with your morning alarm and checked your phone, no missed calls or texts. It felt weird, he never missed goodnight calls. It wasn’t until ten he tried to call, you had to ignore it because of your class but made a note to call him on your way back to your room.

At lunch everything shifted. 

You and some friends met up in the dining hall and you were in the middle of scarffing down fries when you tried to look up your friends ex’s new girlfriend on instagram, you were confronted with a message request. The picture and text made your hand fall, french fries scattering, you felt like you were about to puke all over the table. 

“I’m pretty sure you’re peter's girlfriend, we shared a class last semester and he talked about you all the time. I was out with some friends last night and I’m pretty sure I saw him at a bar with a girl that doesn’t look like you. If this isn’t him or if you guys aren’t together anymore please ignore this, idk i’d want someone to tell me. I’m sorry :(“ 

Sure enough the picture was grainy, definitely zoomed in from across the bar but it sure did look like him. A plaid button down you’ve seen him a million times in before, curls poked out the sides of his head, it seemed curlier and longer than you remember but it’s been a while since you saw him in person. 

His left arm was looped around the waist of a girl totally opposite of you, it looked like his other hand held her face steady as he kissed her. It made your vision go blurry, you’ve never felt this way before. Curls blocked the side of his face but it looked like him, maybe he looked taller than normal but it was a pic taken from far away, you want to question everything about it but the longer you look at it the sicker you feel. 

You shut out of the app and go back to smiling with your friends, you wonder how you’ll call him out. If you were strong enough you’d just ghost him all together, never speak to him again and make him question his insanity. 

Instead the second he called when you were home you picked it up with shaky hands. 

“Hi ba-” 

“We’re done.” 

You hung up the phone. 

It rang less than three seconds later. 

“I’m sorry, what did you-” 

“I said we’re done. Goodbye.” 

You hung up again. 

It rang even quicker, immediate redial. 

“Is this a joke?” 

“I dunno, peter. Am I?” 

“I-” 

“Save it, it doesn’t matter. We’re broken up, you can stop calling.” 

You don’t know why you thought that would settle things, if anything that made everything worse. 

The fourth time he facetimed, he only did it when he was alone, you assume he either kicked his roommate out or is biting the bullet to get teased by his friend for the rest of his life while he begs to keep his girlfriend. 

You answer, “what.” 

“I need to see your face, what are you telling me?” 

“What did you do last night?” 

Peter’s eyebrows furrow, “I don’t know, what did I do?” 

You take a deep breath, “don’t play dumb. Who was she?” 

He makes a face of realization, “Ohhhh, you mean the girl on the phone?” 

You mock his tone, “yeah, the girl on the phone. You know, the one you were making out with?” 

You hear someone cough, it’s not peter, you can imagine the dead silence that just blanketed the room. 

Peter immediately takes the defense, “I didn’t make out with anyone last night, want to take the offense louder?” 

“Someone literally texted me a picture.” 

“Okay, so let me literally see it.” 

You narrow your eyes, “I don’t have to entertain this, peter. I broke up with you and you cheated, the end.” 

Peter sits up on his end, “no, not the end. You’re throwing damaging accusations out there and not giving me any fucking context.” 

“I. got. a. text.” You paused between each word to prove a point, also a little condescendingly. 

“Show. me.” He mocked your tone. 

You let a groan rip from your throat, “it doesn’t change that you did it.” 

Peter rubs his hand down his face, “okay, fuck this. I was here all night, in my dorm room. If you want you can ask my roommate, he was here, with his girlfriend,” he enunciated the last word, “who called me petey, you know, like you do, maybe, I don’t know, mockingly?”  

His words make you think, if he was truly guilty you don’t think he’d be defending himself so hard. You would think that once he was caught he’d fold his cards, instead he’s insulted you could even assume something like that. 

You take down the threat in your voice, “but… I got a picture. And it looks just like you.” 

Peter takes your side, he may defend his but he can’t make it better by pitting against you. 

“I’m sure it does, baby, but I promise I was here all night.” 

“Peter, it looks just like you.” 

He takes a deep breath to settle his frustration, “I know, but I promise it’s not me. Why would I cheat?” 

It’s a good question, you never would’ve thought he could but the picture was damning evidence. 

“I don’t know. I didn’t think you would, but I mean pete, it looks like you. He’s even wearing your green blue plaid button down.” 

Peter’s eyes bug open, his head spins, you know he’s staring his roommate in the eyes. 

“Evan!” They both exclaim at the same time. 

Your eyebrow scrunches, “who?” 

“Hair a little longer than mine? Maybe a little taller?” 

You pull your head back, “yeah… why?” 

Peter smiles wide, “making out with a blonde? At a bar?” 

“That would be it.” 

Peter shares a high five off screen. 

“That’s our friend Evan, he was on a date. He borrowed my shirt, wasn’t me, promise.” 

You stare at the screen, he seemed authentic and desperate for you to believe him. 

“Fine. We’re still dating for now, but I need to see you and him in the same room. Preferably from the back and in the same shirt.” 

“Done. I’ll print them out and bring them when I see you next week.” 

Peter winks at the screen and you squeal at the thought of seeing him so soon. 

[silent-raven13]

Where did you get that tattoo, luv?

Hobie relaxed on his bed playing his guitar enjoying making a song for his band. When his best friends, Karl and Riri aren't fighting nazis, and fascist assholes, they go to their underground concerts. It's the best way to fully enjoy the "punk" experience. Whatever that means? It's the best way to enjoy freedom and expression from this bullshit world.

Then his Spicer Society Smartphone ding, he took the specially made phone t to look at it. There's a message from Gwen.

Spder So-City Messages

Gwendy: Hey, you wanna hang out with me and Pav?

Hobs: Sure. What are we gonna do?

Gwendy: Hmm 🤔 Not sure! I'm thinking we can hang out in my world then maybe meet up with Miles... if he's not busy.

Hobie: Oh! I need to check up on him.

Gwendy: Alright. Ask him if he's down to hang out later!

Hobie quickly went on his contacts seeing the first person to pop up, his Sunflower.

Hobie: Hello, luv. Wyd?"

Sunflower💖: Heyy bae!

Sunflower💖: I'm spending the day with Ganke, we're going to Anime Con! ヾ( ˃ᴗ˂ )◞ • *✰

Hobie pouts, his jealousy is getting the best of hi again. It's not that he has an issue with Ganke, the problem is everyone thinks those two are a couple instead of HIM and Miles. It's always bother him when he sees those two together and random people make positive comments about them.

Oh, you two look so cute together.

OMG, ya'll make a perfect pair.

Awe, ya'll so fierce together!

Can I say ya'll look so gooood together!

There's no words to express how upset Hobie gets when he hears their fucking comments. It's annoying, bothersome, and- DAMN, his jealous couldn't handle it.

What's worst, when he bud in those conversation, the random person would look in shock for the moment. They seem a bit disappointed to find out Miles isn't dating Ganke! What. The. Fuck!

It seems that Miles' best friend is more liked, because he's a handsome fellow. Hobie never felt insecure about his looks before, nor did he care about how others see him, but seeing the love of his life being praised with another man just boils his blood.

For now, he wants his Miles to enjoy themselves.

Hobie: Alright, luv. Have fun 💖 Later, do you want to hang out with me, and the gang?🥹

Sunflower💖: Sure! ☺️ How does 7pm works?

Hobie: Perfect! 🥰

Sunflower💖: Love u! 😘

Hobie: 🥰 Luv u 2!

Hobie left it at that, he got up from the bed to change. When he went to Gwen's world to hang out with her and Pav, he saw them busy on their Smartphone. "Hey, Hobs! Glad you can make it! What's the word with Miles?" Gwen asked being happy to see her punker friend.

"He's free around 7pm. So, what's the plan?" Hobie asked, having one hand in his jeans.

The three were wearing their Spidey suit underneath their basic clothing. Luckily for Gwen, her spider-woman suit is mostly black around her legs, so she wears a casual shirt and jacket with her blue converse. It's an easy fit for her. Hobie always dressed in his punk outfits entwine with his spider-man suit. For Pav, he wore a colorful pink overalls having one strap unlatched for the asymmetrical look and underneath is bright yellow long sleeve shirt.

"I'm thinking we try the escape room! Then, maybe go look at this Hello Kitty store Pav been wanting to go and try this vegan burrito place. They use walnut meat and cashew sour cream!" Gwen explained the plan.

"Hello Kitty?" Hobie asked, looking at Pav.

"She's cute! And i was hoping to look at their designs of Cinnamoroll! In my world, that cute bunny has gold and white colors!" Pav explained.

"Have you ask Miles if he's down to hang out later?" Gwen asked Hobie.

"Yeah, he's busy with Ganke..." He grunts with a slight eyeroll.

The two glanced at each other knowing Hobie is jealous of Ganke for being closed with Miles. Not only that, when Miles was single, he and Ganke would always pretended to be boyfriends to avoid any strangers from asking them out.

They got so used to it they forget they're friends at times. One time, Miles kissed Ganke at a party so casually and his friend wasn't shock instead he wrapped his arm around Miles' waist like it they were a couple. Talk about being super platonic with your best friend. What was worst? Hobie was at that party watching the whole thing, granted he wasn't with Miles, but that didn't stop him from being upset about it. The poor punker got so drunk, he broke down in tear in front of Gwen and Pav. It was an emotional roller coaster!

"Oh they went to that Anime convention? I think I saw a photo of them dressing up together." Pav took out his Smartphone to look through his Spder So-City app to find the picture, "I think they were doing One Piece this time!"

"Right, I remember last year they did Boku no Hero Academia." Gwen said out loud, "Miles was this green guy called... Dino?"

"Deku." Pav corrected. "And Ganke dressed up Eraser Head."

"Who?" Gwen asked, "Sorry, I don't know much on this stuff... only Sailor Moon!"

"Really? I thought you watch anime!" Pav spoke out loud being confused. "You were saying yes to Miles when he brings up certain episodes!"

"I lied... I forget about the shows he mentions. He watches so much with Ganke, and he recommends anime shows with hundred plus episodes! I can only handle twelve episodes!"

"But Sailor Moon has a lot of episodes?"

"Okay, I watch Sailor Moon as a kid, and some episodes here and there. I didn't see the whole thing." Gwen gave a sheepish grin at Pav.

"YOU MEAN TO TELL ME I'M THE ONLY ONE WATCHING WHAT MILES RECOMMENDED?" The wavy haired nineteen year old shouted out while having his smartphone in his hand.

"Yyyu-uh-up!" The blond twenty year old nodded with a weak smile.

"I don't even know any of this stuff you mates are talking about. I know, One Piece, Samurai Champloo, and Demon Slayer..."

"It's because you go to his place and sees him watching those?" Pav asked having to eye on his punker friend. Hobie never seems to like watching television during his free time, so he would watch with whoever is watching.

"Yea, Sunflower always watch the telly." He answered, "At first, I didn't care about One Piece, and got a bit confused about it- but after a few episodes I get it."

"Anime." Pav corrected, "You don't want the fans to curse you out! And it is the best! In my world, the anime is a bit different, but the color schemes!" He check his phone, "Oh, Miles is Zoro and Ganke is Luffy."

He shows them the photo of Miles in a the first Zoro outfit with the bandana tied on his upper left arm, and holding three fake swords. Then Ganke dressed up as Luffy's outfit with a painted red X on his fitted chest.

"Damn, Ganke got jacked up!" Gwen's eyes widen, she didn't remember Miles' friend to be so muscular.

Hobie's eyes were fixated on how Miles and Ganke were giving a big side hug, with their smiles on their faces. It bothers him. The description on Miles' photo said 'My Captain! 🫡' Did Miles really had to write that?

"Dude, I know. I never thought his friend would be sooo.... hot?" Pav admits, then cover his mouth slowly turning an annoyed Hobie, "Sorry, Hobie. I didn't mean it like that!" Then his brown eyes went back on screen looking at Ganke's abs.

"Pav, your drooling..." Gwen giggles having to nudge her friend's sides. "Careful before Gayatri finds out your window shopping."

"No, I was just admiring his straw hat!" Pav hides his blush.

"Let's go." The punker mutters having to kicking a random can from the roof. The other two stood quiet having to bite their tongue from their jealous punker. It's not good when he get one of those moods.

So when they spend their times hanging out in Gwen's world, Hobie was mostly being gloomy, or stare off to distance. During the escape room, Hobie was busy on his smartphone looking at photos of his Sunflower with Ganke.

One photo of them taking a pose with other people, which wasn't too bad. But the next slide was a video of Miles recording himself with Ganke behind him sticking his tongue out.

"At Anime NYC!" Miles said making a peace sign while walking with Ganke.

"Oh my gawd, can we get a photo you two looks so good together!" A young woman cosplay as Kiki from Kiki Delivery Service, then another groups dressed up as Naruto characters, and Attack on Titan cosplayers and so on.

"OMG are you two a couple!"

"Yeah, you two look so perfect as ZoLu!"

"Yeah! You guys look so cute together!"

Hobie's spider-man strength crack his Smart-phone screen being too damn jealous. "Grr..." He growls lowly as he watch his boyfriend nervously laughing it off while Ganke arms around his neck. The disrespect!

"Uhhh, Hobs... you can't use your phone in here." Gwen said slowly seeing the punker not caring about the rules.

Pav being busy solving a puzzle, "Gwen! Hobie! Help me! I'm so confused with this family tree! Jessica's is the step-mother of the granddaughter Sally and twin of Martha, but-but who is she to John, the owner of the house!" He got all panicked and confused by this difficult puzzle.

"Hobie, come on! We're supposed to have fun." Gwen said with a sigh, "Are you really getting jealous over Ganke, again?" She went to help Pav with the puzzle.

Hobie scowls shoving his phone back in his pocket, "Gwendy, you don't understand! They get too close." He quickly solve the puzzle, "And Johnie boy is Jessica's uncle! Why is it everyone sees them as a couple, but if it's me? They look surprised!" A random door open having Pav to go in to solve the next puzzle.

"Well, it's because you and Miles are different from styles and personalities!" Pav pointed out, "Look at you being tall, wearing all black and spikes. Then you got sunshine Miles wearing Jordans and gym wear looking like athlete. Ganke dresses like him or a bit preppy, but they fit together."

"And they are comfortable being with each other, they dorm together four like four years." Gwen pointed out. "Make sense they are so used to each other." Gwen was able to solve the puzzle in the other room along with Pav.

Hobie growls lowly, "And what about me? I know, him the same amount of time. Yet, people look at us as if we're just friends! It's fucking annoying!" Then his phone ding when Miles Spder So-City gets a new post. He was about to check when Gwen stops him.

"Dude, can we finish this first then you can be on your phone?

Hobie sighs, leaving his phone in his pocket. "Fine." Gwen and Pav tries to make his mood as they finished up the escape room. They ended up winning with five minutes left.

After the game, they went to the Hello Kitty store Pav wanted to go, and he ended up buying a big Cinnamoroll. Hobie was on his phone looking at pictures of Miles and Ganke eating ramen and sushi, then photos of them sharing each other food from their chopsticks.

The next slide it was a quick video.

"How does that taste?" Miles asked letting Ganke take a bite of his sushi from his chopsticks.

"It's good. Wanna try my ramen?" Ganke fed his best friend with his spoon filled with ramen .

"Sure!" Miles took the spoon in his mouth and smiles, "Mmm, so good." He happily eats, "I should've order that."

"Wanna switch?"

"Sure! You liked my sushi more, huh?"

"Yeah." Ganke chuckles as they switch their foods. The people in the background awed at them being cute.

Even the waiter said, "You guys are so cute being together. I'm rooting for your relationship!" The two only look at her with an awkward smile.

Hobie bites his bottom lip being very upset. "Count to ten, Hobie. It's just them enjoying themselves to eat." Pav peaks, "That's cute they share their food." He hugs his big stuffed Cinnamoroll being overjoy with his purchased.

"Sharing food from each other spoons and chopsticks is normal with best friends?" Hobie snapped at Pav already annoyed.

"Hobies, chill. Just talk to Miles about how you don't like how touchy feeling him and Ganke are." Gwen said having to pat her wavy haired friend, "Don't take it out on us, sheesh."

"Sorry, mate." Hobie said to Pav, he shoves his phone back into his pocket, "I'm just on edge."

"Hobie, it's okay. I know how much you care about Miles." Pav smiles at him not being bothered by Hobie's attitude. The three continue their hang out until it was time to meet up with Miles.

They were inside the Vegan burger joint since Gwen wanted to try it. Hobie's eyes on the main entrance, then Miles came in wearing a different outfit. His dark eyes soften when his Sunflower smiles at him, then he noticed a bandage on his left arm.

"Hey bae!" Miles went up to his boyfriend to kiss him.

"Luv, what happen to you?" Hobie asked being concerned by his arm then noticed something, "You got another tattoo?"

"Yeah, I did! You didn't see my So-City post?" His boyfriend saw Gwen and Pav, "Hey guys, sorry I'm late. I had to change out of my costume and take Ganke home."

"Luv, when did you get a tattoo?" Hobie asked being a bit surprised.

Miles smiles happily, "Me and Ganke got matching tattoos together. It's our friendship anniversary today, so we wanted to do something together!" Unaware of the dark jealous look from Hobie.

"What? No way, what kind did you two get?" Pav asked being in shock.

"Matching tattoos? Isn't that what couples do? Ain't that a curse?" Gwen glanced over seeing Hobie quiet.

Miles explained, "A lot of people get tattoos with their close friends. Me and Ganke been wanting to get one since he got his first tattoo! So we thought long and hard, and realized we're both One Piece nerds. So we got an X as a symbol of our friendship and loyalty for each other!" His honey-brown eyes soften being so happy, "He's my best friend."

"Awe, that's so cute." The wavy haired teenager puts his hands on his cheeks being so awestruck.

Hobie stood quiet before he decided to walk away. "Bae, where you going?" Hearing Miles' voice.

"I'm gonna take a smoke break." He mutters lowly.

"Let me come with you-" Hobie stops him, "No, Miles. I want to go alone." He walk outside of the restaurant.

Miles frowns hearing his boyfriend sounding upset. "What's wrong with him?" He asked his other two friends.

Hobie inhale his cigarette feeling the nasty bitter tar taste dragging on his tastebuds. Been awhile since he smoke, he rarely smoke cigarettes these days since he got with Miles. He sighs feeling like a fool for getting so worked over his boyfriend's tattoo. Why does he feel so challenged with Ganke?

He hear the front door opening, "I told you I want to be alone, Sunflower." He finally said, hearing his boyfriend's footsteps.

"Gwen and Pav told me you were upset about me spending the day with Ganke." Miles went up to him, his arms wrapping around Hobie's left arm trying to comfort him. "Baby, do you hate it when I'm with him?"

"I dunno." He mutters.

"But you got so upset when I mentioned I got a tattoo with him! Hobie, me and Ganke are just friends!"

"Friends who hug each other all the time? Friends, who share chopsticks and food? Friends who get matching tattoos?" Hobie snapped then stops himself when he saw his boyfriend's eyes widen at him. "Sorry, luv... I am. That's why I wanted to be alone."

"Hobie, me and Ganke are friends! A lot of people are close with their friends. We just vibe that way."

"Sunflower, I know you and him are friends, but I get jealous over it. I think it's because he's better for you." Hobie sighs being upset, "I'm just a bloke with-" Miles grab his face to kiss him, Hobie's dark eyes widen from shock as he felt his Sunflower's kiss him so passionately.

When Miles pull away his tongue slip out of Hobie's mouth, then he gave a hard bite on his partner's bottom lip. The punker winced from the sudden bite his partner made, he blinks when his boyfriend glared at him. "I hate when you talk so badly about yourself. I love you, Hobie. Me and Ganke are just friends nothing more, man. Tsk, you're acting stupid, but you're my jealous stupid man!" He kisses Hobie again to comfort those bottom bite lip.

His boyfriend pulls the nineteen year old into a deeper kiss. "Luv," Hobie pulls away, "I still wish you asked me about having a tattoo. I'm jealous you two have matching tattoos."

"Huh! But I got two tattoos about you, baby!" Miles puff his cheeks.

Hobie kisses his boyfriend this time with more hunger, more need that made Miles' face heated. The punker's larger hands cupping his little Sunflower as they tongue kissed. He mutter lowly, "I don't like sharing you, luv."

"Hmm," Miles pinches his boyfriend's cheek making him winced again, "You ruined the kiss by being too possessive, mi amor. You still have a lot to learn about controlling your jealousy! It's cute when you kiss me like this but you putting yourself down is pissing me off."

"Luv, you love it when I'm like this." Hobie chuckles.

"Hmph, you got mad over a tattoo. I'm not removing it and Ganke is my best friend. You're gonna have to learn!" Miles huffed, "Over a simple tatt-" Hobie kisses him again, "I like it when your like this."

"Dummy!" Miles frowns, playfully hitting his boyfriend's shoulder, "You always gotta be the jealous type." Hobie picks him up with a smile on his face making him blush, "See I like this, but not when you're trying to get delusional about me and Ganke. It's weird, man. It's like me getting jealous over you and Karl. You don't see me going on my phone checking where you're at all the time?" He puff his cheeks again being annoyed.

"You're cute when you're mad at me, Sunflower." He leans over to nose rub his boyfriend's nose, then picks him up letting Miles' legs wrap around his waist. "I would it if we get matching tattoos."

"No," Miles huffs, "Those are curses. I rather let you give me a tongue piercing."

"That can be arrange. I always wanted you to get one." Hobie purrs in his boyfriend's ear, "You'll look sexy with it."

"Bad! I'm already sexy, bae." Miles pinches his cheeks again, "Always ruining the moment!" He playfully smirk on his face. "You play too much."

"I want your attention. You left me all alone today, luv."

"So?"

"I need you, my darling!"

"You're so clingy! Now put me down."

"No!" Hobie carries his boyfriend back inside the restaurant, "This is payback for leaving me."

"Hobie!"

[brown-spider]

LET'S GOOOO okay so I have two spidersonas, one is pretty accurate to me as a person (projection goes brrr) and the other one is something that a friend and me came up with that is kind of like a breed(???) of spiderman but for sure couldn't exist in canon because they're such a mary sue that they would divert all canon events and Miguel would try and kill them (tell me if you want to know mroe because I feel kinda bad that I'm overloading ur inbox)

My first little guy is called SpiderGlitch, it/its pronouns. Civilian name is Frank Crank because it made it laugh so hard when it thought of it that it was nearly sick. It's home dimension is World 37123426 (bonus points if you can figure out why) where it is perpetually raining (this is a clue). Frank is 25 years old, a LoserTM, and is still kind of figuring out what it wants from life. Wants to be a civil engineer. Also wants to slap a little 'his ass is NOT forklift certified' sticker on Miguel's back

It was bitten by a spider that seemed to flash in and out of existence and Frank couldn't swat it before the spider just sort of vanished. Like out of thin air it was gone. (Frank has horrible arachnophobia)

So now Frank has these things that it's calling glitches! (Not to be confused by the tics that it gets in response to very loud and/or stressful situations (shoulder twitches, clicking tongue, you get it)). It's got a pretty good grip on them after a few mishaps and now it can 'glitch' in and out of dimensions at will which pisses villains the hell off because they can never land a clean shot on it because it just fucking vanishes. It produces web organically and is suuuper grossed out about it (it's getting used to the sensation after three years but the texture is still really odd) (Frank is autistic) (if u couldn't tell)

It has heightened hearing but also auditory processing disorder </3 so sometimes things get a bit jumbled. When it loses speech it switches to NZSL which gets the gist across for the other spideys (because NZSL and ASL are pretty different, like dialects).

Some miscellaneous stuff! It LOVES telling stories and volunteers at the local library for the kids' storytime hour and has a talent for bullshitting stories out of nothing and making them (mostly) believable. (Like telling people why the left arm of its suit is burned to a weird pinkish colour) (It says it was while it was fighting a fire-breathing entity as a new spidey) (This is such a lie) (Spider suits and hot oil do not mix guys)

Frank's theme song is The Bus Is Late by Satellite High. Its running gag is that everytime it needs to catch a bus, it arrives at the station just as the bus is leaving. Call it spidey luck. That's all I have for now, here's a picture of it (I am not an artist) (I am also still working on what its face under the mask looks like)

people: hey neat suit frank frank: thx :) people: frank did you put your top surgery scars on ur suit frank: yep :)

Frank Crank is literally the top tier spiderman name, the rest of us can go home

[mcu-multiverse-order-review]

Spider-Man - Season 3 (1970)

Spider-Man season 3 was in my opinion, better than season 2, mostly because they returned to the format and tone of season 1.

Generally I can say that I enjoyed most of season 1(when it wasn’t being outright offensive). I didn’t like season 2, and season 3 was fine, but clearly had no budget so it was mostly repeats.

In terms of MCU connections, none yet again. If you're watching things solely for MCU connections I would recommend watching any season 1 episode-a for the theme song, and also Episode 19b “Double Identity” for the pointing Spider-Man meme.

As for Spider-Man mythos; Season 1 introduces a decent number of Spidey’s comic rogues gallery, but only a few of his supporting cast. Season 2 does include Spidey’s origin and the introduction of the Kingpin, but other than that not much more. Season 3’s only contribution was introducing MJ to animation.

Anyway, as usual episode breakdowns are below the cut.

The next series on the list is gonna be good, I can barely contain my eXciteMENt.

Episode 40a - “The Winged Thing”

Nooooooo, the Vulture has lost his infinity chin. A tragic day this is.

Anyway, fucking finally returned to the 10 minute half episode format, and the Vulture’s back, meaning they’ve returned to using actual super villains, thank fuck. Although the episode format has returned back to how it was in season 1, it still retains the moody look from season 2. I’m not overly fond of it, but at least it’s not as miserable as season 2.

And oh look, JJJ and Betty are back, hopefully this is a sign I will actually enjoy watching this season. (Despite the fact that I’m aware that this episode is made up almost entirely of reused assets from the Vulture’s previous episodes.)

Episode 40b - “Conner’s Reptiles”

Ok, so this episode just seems to fucking forget the events of Episode 18a completely, with Billy barely recognising Spider-Man.

Anyway this episode effectively repeats Episode 2a, with the twist that Connors isn’t the Lizard here, instead it’s one of his experiments that has captured him. Spidey dissolves an entire reptile. The fuck?

Episode 41a - “Trouble with Snow”

Pete fights a monstrous snowman and I am hungry… That has nothing to do with the episode, I just thought I’d let you know.

Episode 41b - “Spider-Man vs. Desperado”

And back to our regularly scheduled JJJ blaming Spidey for random shit.

Episode 42a - “Sky Harbor”

o_o

The main villain of the episode is a literal nazi. I have nothing to add.

Episode 42b - “The Big Brainwasher”

Ok, so the actual contents of this are kinda dumb as hell, but it’s good to see good ol’ Willy Fisk back. Also Captain Stacy got completely redesigned for this episode. Let’s be honest here, this episode is important for only one thing…

Characters Introduced:

Mary Jane Watson

Took long enough for the Jackpot to show up, but here she is. For some reason in this continuity she’s Captain Stacy’s niece. I feel like this version of the character is less pure MJ and more a blend between MJ and Gwen.

Episode 43a - “The Vanishing Doctor Vespasian”

The villain in this episode acts like he’s the first to figure out invisibility, but like, did the showrunners forget one of the main villains of Season 1 was an invisible guy? We’re just gonna forget him? Yeah? Alright, fair enough.

Episode 43b - “The Scourge of the Scarf”

The main villain of this episode needs to go back to Megamind’s school of villainy, like he’s got the theatrics all good, but his costume is literally just a scarf wrapped around his face, like come on, do better.

Episode 44a - “Super Swami”

So I’m not well versed in cultures or religions, but a quick google search indicates that Swami is a significant title used in Hinduism. So what kind of bullshit was this show on to think this depiction was ok?

I don’t even know what to call this. Xenophobia? Racism? I literally don’t know. All I know is it’s bad vibes.

Episode 44b - “The Birth of Micro Man”

Not to be confused with Ant-Man.

Episode 45a - “Knight Must Fall”

Last time I saw Sir Galahad, he was getting sexually harassed at the Castle Anthrax, but luckily he was saved by Sir Lancelot. I literally cannot remember what he did in the rest of the film.

Oh shit, I’m supposed to be talking about Spider-Man.

Episode 45b - “The Devious Dr. Dumpty”

Between Kingpin and Dr. Humpty Dumpty over here, Pete really likes making fat jokes. I’m not gonna call him fatphobic, I’m just gonna say Spidey needs some better jokes.

Episode 46 - “Up from Nowhere”

Ah yes, Atlanteans, the ancient geniuses that got themselves stuck at the bottom of the ocean. A real smart bunch that lot. Just in case you don’t realise, this sarcasm.

Episode 47 - “Rollarama”

So Wikipedia calls this episode a remake of Episode 30 “Vine”, and while I would mostly agree as it reuses the general plot and animation, it does have its own twist on the story.

Episode 48a - “Rhino”

Huh. So this was literally just a slightly reedited version of Episode 14a “The Golden Rhino”.

Episode 48b - “The Madness of Mysterio”

Ok, what the fuck? Why is Mysterio just some green guy? Like, he doesn't even have his suit, he’s literally just a guy this time.

Episode 49 - “Revolt in the Fifth Dimension”

I think I can understand why this episode was never aired. Grey Matter from Ben 10 fucking dies. Spidey goes on an acid trip. And there’s more flashing lights than “Electric Soldier Porygon”.

Episode 50 - “Specialists and Slaves”

So this is literally just a combination of Episode 23 “Swing City" and Episode 39 "To Cage a Spider”, which is fine; except for the fact that captain Stacy’s design is different in season 3 than it was in season 2, creating some very jarring continuity errors concerning him.

Episode 51 - “Down to Earth”

This was basically just Episode 33 again, but snow covered and instead of a NASA rocket the macguffin is a UFO disguised as a meteor.

Episode 52 - “Trip to Tomorrow”

So this is how the series ends, clip show versions of Episodes 29 & 37, an entire recap of Episode 13a, and Spidey scaring a kid out of wanting to be a vigilante. Huh.

Well at least we got to see actual Mysterio one last time.

[rainbowgod666]

The perfect DC/Marvel comic is like this

Its a batman book, the joker is killed off in the first panel and that has no meaning or repercussions over the timeline

The watchmen are a thing and Dr. Manhattan figured out a way to get rid of the whole "every moment is the present" thing. This makes it easier for the writer to write its dialogues. He is still earth-shatteringly autistic and everyone loves him for this

Also he and deadpool accidentally bond over "seeing the 4th wall". Deadpool is also buddies with moon knight. Guess what my favourite charachter is?

Good ol IRL me is there and its canon that the one time when i tried to help constantine every demon/spirit/whatever that has a stake on him was SCREAMING to him "get tf away from him not even death's gonna save you". Which i mean, rude

Welcome to the multiverse. Batman has small dick energy and superman is such a pacifist some people have trouble seeing him as anything other than "alien übermensch thats just a really nice guy and thats eat". He may be white bread but here in italy we say "buono come il pane" or "good as bread" so yeah hes a Certified Good Boy

I cannot stress enough how much unimportant is the death of the joker. He basically might as well have never existed.

Wonder Woman comes to the realization (after i confronted her about it because FFS WHY DO I HAVE TO BE THE MULTIVERSE'S BABYSITTER) that MAYBE reducing her entire power assortment to "r/TwoXChromosomes" is a bad thing both for boys AND girls alike. I know the song goes "forget your balls and grow a pair of tits" but i would instead put programs so that boys feel safe about their masculinity and girls wont have to worry about Bad People In Dimly Lit Alleys.

SCP and MONUMENTMYTHOS are referenced really tangentially. Only the wikis (official or not) aknowlegde this fully

There are at least three scenes where tony stark reads about elongated muskrat on the news. In all of them hes disappointed

He also references him appearing on big bang theory, which in THIS universe is ran by the charachters of the series as a fun class B science program that has way more audience than it should have. Sheldon met Dr. Manhattan, who described our multi-knocking boy as just like him but "less knowledgeable and more arrogant" (no fr shelly is one /gamemode 1 from becoming dr. pasadiña or whatever)

Considering this is "DC and Marvel, but Alex did his bullshit", expect dumb shit

I am introduced with a MadCom reference that is also a Courage the cowardly dog reference. KeK

The Owlman is revealed to have had a massive brain tumor that straight up removed his ability to think rationally while making him speak like his cigars are made of dictionaries

So many events from so many storylines happen all at once lol

Spidey disapproves of O'Hara. Like everyone else.

Multiple references are everywhere

There is SERIOUS PROOF that thanos accidentally something important when he was testing the infinity gauntlet, whoops!

Gamora tries to kill me after i try to roast her for how she is. She is shocked to find out that me getting Kakyoin'd did nothing but "ow"

@moringmark is referenced in a 4 panel scene in the toh universe

A cover story reveals that, on the moon, a portal opens. The portal is traversed by a shiny deoxys and many little among us crewmates. The impostors are all black (literally) (if you see racism in this, fuck you not everyone is an american cop) (on that note, watch southland) and act as guards for the group. Deoxys is in its base form

The valve universe is a thing so welcome BLU, RED, aperture and black mesa!

[asyouleft]

For the ask game!

1 (especially which MCU/Spidey one!), 11, 13, 24!

Hi <33

favorite fic you wrote this year

Hm, for Spidey/MCU I think it has to be Uneven Odds which wasn't even a popular one! I just had this idea of what would happen if Tony was Snapped and came back to a world that was just fine without him - especially Peter, Pepper & his family. Like, how would he fit in? We have so many (great ones too) of Peter trying to adjust after he comes back, I wanted to explore the Tony side of things. I think it came out pretty well!

As for HS, I'd go with And You Know For Me It's Always You mostly because it started as a small plot bunny and as of right now, it sits at 166k words (pre editing each chapter too!). It's the longest thing I've ever written and I really like how it's moving and how I manged to cram in more plot than I thought I could (even in my more plotty stuff!)

11. fandom you enjoyed writing for the most this year

It's a cop out but both Spidey/MCU and Hearstopper mostly because they are two very different fandoms and writing style! It'd been a hot minute since I delved into proper slash fics (especially smut) but the second I started it was so nice to know I could still get around to it.

But I still do love writing Peter & Tony stuff, I think I got a bit burnt out on it after finishing so many fics this year and doing so many random tropes. I also had some negative feedback on a few of them and it made me nervous to post more stuff! But have no fear, I have two almost finished ones and a handful of WIPs that I've made progress on for this year new! I'll be back on my bullshit soon enough.

13. favorite writing song/artist/album of this year

My fic naming scheme would probably suggest Taylor Swift, lol but I think I had on Superache by Conan Gray so much this year. I vibe with that one a lot when writing (even if I'm not writing something related to one of the songs) but I also spent a lot of time with Sleeping At Last (per usual) especially when doing MCU stuff, I usually have on a playlist of all the Atlas songs, tbh on shuffle because the whole thing is a masterpiece.

24. favorite fic you read this year

That is so hard, ugh, I read so, so, so, so many. And I know so many of the authors and I would feel so bad singling anyone out!! My Switzerland answer is just look at my Bookmarks, lol. I tend to forget to Bookmark things but then remember suddenly and go back to older stuff all the time, but it's a good read on the things I enjoyed.

Questions from the Fanfic End of The Year Ask!

[shokuto]

Connect by Drake but it's about Miles and Barbara's relationship that's on and off again because neither of them can fully commit and they know what they want out of each other more than they actually know each other. So when they're off they're kinda talking about each other to their friends and but when they're on again they're always thinking it'll be different. And until then he's just swangin (It's a line peppered onto the song I'm sorry) through the same city with the same friends if she's ever looking for him.

[80pairsofcrocs]

baby scarab || 35

anon - OMG OMG OMG You're Baby Scarab Series is absolutely amazing! I was wondering wondering, since crazy stuff has happened in this series, what if the reader becomes a little kid or something. Like they wake up, and they're a little child for a day or something. Feel free to ignore this. You're series is amazing.

~~~

anon - i can imagine y/n and the moon boys having a just dance battle cause y/n coaxed them into it tbh

~~~

anon - Idk silly idea I love

So imagine reader has a shit day right and the boys are doing moon knight stuff and they get a text from their phone like come to the roof nerd and it’s big bro Spider-Man!!

Just imagine him playing some fun music and dancing with the reader on the roof

Me and my friend did this once, we both were in rlly bad states of depression and we ended up blasting music and he and I danced to stupid songs in the rain

~~~

A/N : random af, filler chapter. also requests are way different from what i wrote but hey, i have to make it fit somewhere right? hope you like it either way

masterlist - marvel masterlist - series masterlist

A/N : enjoy khonshu fucking up your body again :D

please enjoy, and don't be shy if you want to be in the taglist, just ask <3, sorry for the long wait

playlist

pairings : steven grant x (platonic)reader, marc spector x (platonic) reader, khonshu x (platonic)reader, jake lockley x (platonic)reader

TW : medicine (pills), language, spidey stuff, little y/n, little y/n having a breakdown(?), khonshu being khonshu, eating disorders(?), starvation, let me know if i missed anything

~~~

you woke up in the same position you fell asleep in.

you just kept your eyes closed since you didn’t feel like being a part of the world yet.

you were stuck thinking about that kid.

yesterday, you were thinking over and over about how you wish you were a kid again, and had someone there for you.

actually there for you.

not just some drunk foster parents, or the foster parents that hated you.

you let out a deep breath and decided to carefully maneuver yourself off jake, as to not wake him up.

when you stood up you felt that something was off right away.

“khonshu” you murmur, the bird showing up in front of you.

“what did you do this time?” you ask tiredly, rubbing your eyes.

“your thoughts were sad, i thought this would make you feel.. better” he explains and you raise an eyebrow.

“i feel short, what did you do?” you ask again and khonshu tilts his head.

“i de-aged you” he says calmly and you just stare up at him.

you weren’t even mad. you were used to all khonshus bullshit by now.

“and how far did you de-age me?” you ask impatiently.

khonshu hesitates in answering. “it would appear that you have the body of an 8 year old” he tells you quietly and you take an all too calm breath.

you felt your shirt slide down one of your shoulders, making you pull it back up.

you were a fairly small 8 year old.

you were malnourished at that age, and it’s like khonshu and just brought it all back.

unintentionally of course, he means well and you know that.

well- for the most part.

he wanted to make you feel better but didn’t know how.

so this is what he came up with.

“change me back” you shake your head, having to crane your neck more than usual look look at him.

“…” he doesn’t say anything and you give him a look.

“khonshu”

“it wears off in 12 hours”

“i have work today, what am i supposed to do?”

“not go? did i accidentally give you an 8 year olds brain too?” he asks sarcastically and you scoff.

“i have to call my boss but i sound like a child” you complain.

“that’s because you are one”

“yeah, no thanks to you” you glare, and khonshu sighs loudly before walking past you to jake.

he pokes jake in the chest with the crescent on the top of his moon stick, making jake hit it away and blink a few times before glaring at him.

“lockley we have an issue” khonshu tells him and jake groans in annoyance.

“what did you do this time?” he mumbles.

khonshu just nods his head over to you, who was now looking down at your now oversized clothing and fiddling with your sleeve.

jake gasps quickly and sits up as fast as he can to come over and kneel down in front of you.

“princesa, are you okay? does it hurt?” he puts his hands up to your face, bringing you to look at him.

“other that being smaller than usual, i’m fine” you nod to him, and he looks you over once again.

“pajaro estupido” jake shakes his head, khonshu taking this as his cue to leave.

jake turns back to stare at you, to which you just stare back.

“i’m to tired to care, and i need you to call natalie” you say, cringing at your slightly higher pitched voice.

“yeah yeah- i’ll.. i’ll do that” jake nods distractedly. “where’s your phone?”

you shrug and point to the bed, remembering it was in your pocket when you went to sleep.

you’re very careless with your phone- like you don’t even charge it half the time.

you can’t even remember the last time it got to 100%.

jake flings the blanket around, finding your phone half stuffed under a pillow, and picking it up.

he puts your password in and goes into your contacts to find natalie, when he sees an unfamiliar name.

“who’s peter?” all three of them ask at the same time.

you just blink up at them while jake rolls his eyes. 

“you better explain after i call your boss” he says sternly and you nod.

jake clicks her contact and holds the phone to his ear while you turn your attention to marc and jake in one of the mirrors.

you can’t reach the mirror now, but you can still look up at it.

“is peter a new friend? you should’ve told us” steven whines and you look down, feeling kind of bad for not telling them about your secret training with spider-man.

“when jakes done i’ll explain everything, i promise” you tell both of them and they nod hesitantly, exchanging glances.

that’s when jake came back over, starting to hand your phone back to you before taking it back last minute.

“children shouldn’t have phones, it’ll melt your brain” he says to you with a smile and you groan in annoyance, walking to the couch to take a seat.

“you’re so mean” you mumble.

jake slips your phone in his pocket, and goes to sit next to your small frame on the couch.

“you said you’d explain, now explain” marc tells you and you sigh.

“where do i even start?” you mumble to yourself.

“you can’t tell anyone though, but peter is spider-man, the other spider guy we saw yesterday” you start.

“he’s.. he’s been helping me with my abilities at night sometimes while you guys are asleep” you end quietly and you can sense marc giving you ‘that’ look.

“he saw me on the news in america. apparently they know about me over there, so he came all this way to help me” you begin.

“we became friends quickly since we have almost identical abilities, and since we.. we can relate to each other on a certain level” you finish.

“how do you relate?” steven asks and you hesitate.

“we’re both orphans” you nod and jake furrows his brows.

“so you’ve been sneaking out at night to go hang out with a boy?” he asks and you make a face.

“he’s like two years older than me, and he’s been training me, that’s all” you defend peter, and he hums.

“do you mind if we tag along next time?” he asks and you stare at him for a second.

“..sure” you say quietly, and he chuckles in victory.

“you know, i thought you’d freak out more” you say honestly and marc is the one to respond.

“if he’s helping you control your powers than i’m completely fine with it” he tells you and jake nods.

“ditto” steven agrees and you chuckle again, and right before you can say another word a loud crack of thunder rumbles through the air, making you flinch and cover your ears.

jake turns his attention to you in concern, seeing as your hands are shaking while covering your ears.

he lightly taps your shoulder, making you look up at him.

“princesa?” he starts, guiding your hands down. “you okay?” he asks and you nod.

“i forgot about my fear of storms as a kid, and it doesn’t help that i have enhanced hearing now” you explain the best you can, and you see that steven started to front.

“wait how’s that even work? i thought it was just your body that was changed” he says and khonshu appears perched on the back of the couch.

“actually, it was only her mind that stayed the same, her fears however..” he trails off and steven purses his lips.

a flash of lightning lights up the room through the window, and you instinctively gasp and hide your face in your hands.

“well why would you even do this, you dumb bird? don’t you see that she doesn’t like it?” steven scolds him and khonshu sighs.

“it’s not my fault she wanted someone to care about her as a child” khonshu starts, surprising all of you.

you swipe your finger across your throat while glaring at khonshu, and another quieter crack of thunder sounds in the room.

you- without your full control, lean over and grip stevens shirt while burying your face in his shoulder, making him gasp quietly in surprise, then quickly put a hand to your back to give you a sense of comfort.

“what do you mean nobody cared about her? her foster parents.. they cared about her… right?” steven trails off, looking down at you and then sighing.

“y/n”

you look up at him, and you see that he’s giving you a look.

“not all of them took care of me” you mumble. “i don’t like talking about it” you look back down, still gripping his shirt in one of your hands.

“i won’t force you to talk about it but.. if you ever want to we’re always here” he assures you and you nod, seeing another flash and hearing another loud boom.

you sneakily bring a hand down to stevens pocket, and snatching your phone as jake gives you a look through the mirror on the coffee table, but it softens when he realizes what had calmed you down as a kid.

because it sure as hell wasn’t the adults in the home. it was music. beautiful sound to distract you from the loud obnoxious ones coming from outside.

you focus on the patter of rain on the roof as you bring up spotify and putting the phone to your ear, steven still not even noticing you took your phone out of his pocket.

he was busy glaring at khonshu. “you’re lucky i don’t want to leave her, or you’d be toast” he threatens, your music playing faintly in your ear.

“are you a wizard? how would you turn me to toast?” khonshu asks, genuinely curious.

steven deadpans at him then looks back to you, noticing that you’re listening to something.

“hey- when’d you-“ another crack of thunder had you tensing up, stevens arms tightening around you.

“..does it calm you down?” seven asks as a flash of lighting lights up the room again.

he relaxes a little when he feels you nod. “here, stand up” he nudges you and you do so, phone still to your ear.

steven quickly goes to close the curtains, so you won’t freak out by the sudden flashes.

he comes back over and gently takes the phone from you, turning up the volume to reveal that what you’re listening to was some of the more mellow songs by olivia rodrigo.

steven smiles and puts the phone down on the coffee table and takes your hands in his, yours reaching higher than usual to your now lack in height.

steven frowns a bit when he sees how bony and skinny your arms were, since your now huge sleeves rolled down.

he also took notice of the slight hollowness of your cheeks. you noticed the slight trace of guilt on his face, which made you confused.

“what’s wrong?” you ask ask the two of you sway back and forth, your eye twitching whenever you hear thunder.

“i’m going to be blunt and ask you if at this age your foster parents ever fed you” steven says which makes you bite the inside of your cheek while you debate on answering.

“..sometimes” you answer and he lets out a shaky breath.

“why? why would anyone treat you this way?” he says more to himself than anyone else.

“because they only took me in to make themselves look good” you start.

“they would make me wear fancy dresses whenever they had friends over. they.. i had to sneak downstairs in the middle of the night to get food, and i would get caught” you take a shaky breath, looking up at steven with glassy eyes.

“then they wouldn’t let me have any food for days as a punishment” you end quietly.

“Las matare” you hear jake mutter, and you chuckle softly before taking your hands out of stevens and wrapping them around his waist, his own going around your back.

“yeah, for once i can agree with you” marc says to jake.

you feel calm when your music stops for a second, signaling that you’d gotten a notification.

you begrudgingly left steven and went to check it when you saw it was peter.

“what is it?” steven asks hesitantly, not wanting to pry.

“it’s peter, he wants me to come up to the roof in an hour, after the rain stops” you tell them and marc groans.

“don’t even start- i’m going to do it” you inform them and marc speaks up.

“then let us go with you”

“but-“

“y/n”

“fine”

~~~

after steven forced brunch down your throat, it was almost time for you guys to go up to meet peter.

he’d noticed how you were hesitant in eating anything- must have been your body not feeling hungry due to the fact you were basically starved at that age.

this was one of the many things you hadn’t told them about your barely-there childhood, which you refused to talk about if not necessary.

it was necessary now since you had to explain why you weren’t hungry- which you had a large appetite now since you could buy your own food, and your larger metabolism from the spider bite.

it’s only been 4 hours since you’d gotten changed, so that meant another 8 until you were back to yourself.

your spidey sense was ringing in your ears, which made you perk up, and the now fronting marc noticed.

“is he here?”

you nod, heading for the window. marc followed after you, making sure you wouldn’t fall to your death.

you made it up, and he saw you peak down and shoot a web to him, sticking to his arm.

he gave you a look of panic as you smirk, yanking on the web to have him hanging off of it. 

“kid- i swear if you drop me-“

“i won’t drop you, you baby” you retort, pulling him up enough so that he can grab the edge and pull himself up.

once he gets to his feet, he points a finger at you. “don’t you ever do that again” he says sternly and you put your hands up in surrender, and turn around to see peter staring in your direction, his mask up.

“h-hey” you hear his stutter, obviously wondering what exactly was happening.

a small girl who looked exactly like you, and the guy you went home with from the alley.

“another tingle?” you ask peter, both you and marc approaching him.

“yeah, and i think i can sense the problem” he says sarcastically, and you chuckle.

“don’t worry, it’ll wear off” you start. “peter, this is marc” you end up introducing and marc nods to him, brows furrowed.

“marc, peter” you introduce again, peter waving to him.

“so if this is marc, where are the other two?” peter whispers to you once he gets close enough.

you look down at the still damp ground. “they’re in there” you say and you sense peters confusion.

“there’s three of ‘em in one body” you explain shortly and he nods.

“hello sir. i’m, i’m peter. peter parker” he starts, putting out a hand. “well- you know i’m peter i’m just- i’m just gonna stop talking now”

marc eyes his covered hand and then reaches out to shake it.

“marc spector” marc starts. “moon knight” he shakes peters hand firmly, making peter nervous.

“okay, there’s too much testosterone here- what now?” you ask, both the boys taking their hands back.

“well- well i just-“

“you help y/n with her abilities right?” marc asks, hands in his pockets.

you stare between the two, peters mask coming down so that he can look at marc properly.

“i do, yeah” peter nods, marc tilting his head at him.

“and you’re treating her good?” he questions and peter nods right away.

“he does” you confirm, and marc nods.

“good.” he takes a breath. “that’s good, she needs you” marc tells peter, and both of you are surprised.

“she needs someone relate to, so i’m glad you’re here for her” he gives peter a tight lipped smile and peter smiles back.

both men look to you while you just blink up at the both of them.

“peter” you start. “how far do your webs go?”

“i- uhm.. i don’t know, this is a new formula” he says and a smile forms on your face.

“well, i bet mine go farther than yours” you scoff, walking to the edge of the roof, peter and marc following.

“do you want to bet?” peter asks and you nod.

“if i win i get to pick what you teach me next” you say and peter nods.

“that’s fair” he starts. “if i win i get to pick then, and trust me you don’t want that” he jokes and you let out a sarcastic laugh.

marc enjoyed just observing off to the side, seeing you happy like this made him happy.

steven and jake on the other hand, felt all the same, but jake was a bit wishy washy about peter.

you and peter reach both of your arms out, counting down and then shooting a web out, yours going quite farther than peters.

it must have been the fact that the webs you had were superior since they were made literally inside you.

there’s no non-weird way to say it, really.

you turn to give a now red-faced peter a look.

“i want you to help me with swinging” you say with a smile.

“i knew you were going to say that” peter shakes his head, chuckling.

marc watched with a smile, and peter noticed.

“listen, i kind of have bad news” peter looks at you, both of your smiles fading a bit.

“i have to go back home- to america in two weeks” he says and you look up at him with glossy eyes.

damn your little kid habits.

“what? will you ever come back?” you ask and peter nods.

“of course i will, i just.. i know you can do great here” peter tells you, bending down to reach your height.

“just remember this, okay?” he starts and you nod.

“with great power.. there is also great responsibility” he nods at you and you smile.

“i’ll miss you. i’ll make sure london stays safe” you assure him and he chuckles.

“i know you will” he stands back up completely and turns to marc.

“marc, and steven, jake.. if you can hear me” he starts, mumbling the last part.

“if you’re ever in america, you always have a place to stay” peter tells him and marc nods.

“nice meeting you” he tells him.

peter nods again awkwardly, and backs up, mask forming back on his face.

“edith just.. i have to go i’m so sorry” he says and you just smile at him.

“i get it, i’ll see you” you say and he waves, hopping off the roof.

you turn to marc who was fighting a smile. “you don’t completely hate him” you nudge his shoulder, also jumping off the roof.

marc’s eyes widen and he looks over to see you standing on the wall, looking up at him with a smirk.

he just lets out a breath and rolls his eyes.

~~~

once you were all back inside, you ended up laying on steven, while he watched the news, you tracing shapes into his chest with your tiny finger.

you perked up at the mention of the crime you stopped just yesterday.

“yeah, she saved my boys life” the mom of the boy says to the camera.

you and steven both focus in on it, and you feel your stomach full with butterflies.

“so, since you’re the first official person saved by this spider-hero, what do you think her name should be?” the news lady asks the little boy in his mothers arms.

“arachnid!” he yells, arms out in the air, the mother laughing.

you gasp and sit up, almost hitting steven in the chin with your head.

“ohmygosh!” you say quickly with a smile.

“dude! i have a cool name now!” you throw yourself forward and wrap your shirt arms around stevens neck, his arms going around you too.

“oh! darling, i’m so proud of you!” steven starts.

“that’s amazing, congratulations!” you hear marc.

jake is the next to speak. “Estoy tan orgullosa de ti, cariño”

~~~

even khonshu had congratulated you, by changing you back early.

he found a way. he’s khonshu.

so of course your appetite came back, and you ate two packages of pop tarts, steven being perfectly fine with it.

all of them were fine with it, really.

as long as you were back to yourself, they were fine with it.

more than fine, they were proud of you for being comfortable to be yourself around them.

so so proud.

they would be proud for every single accomplishment you make.

and they always will.

~~~

A/N : endings are rushed nowadays, but whatever i’m not perfect :) but i do try to be

thank you all for the support, i love you all so much. thank you all for the requests, i love reading them and the set ups for the shorts :) <3

taglist ---

@alexloveskili @ihatemyselfmorethanmydepression @thebiggestsimpshrimp @guyinachair27 @astrobuzzsstuff @mooonlight-and-stars @moonlighting87 @mateihavenoidea @inactive-things @alondrashultz @femalemarvelself @queenthorin1 @haileymorelikestupid @jvdethirlwall @justtiredandvibing @winterfrostsarmy @themapoftinyperfectthings @littlebird101 @atzlena @httpslinow @arrowurboat @m-brekker @lifeandbandmembers-blog @adamcarlsenslvr @violet-19999 @seninjakitey @bestgirlpip @panic-in-the-multiverse @in-between-the-cafes @branolagar @bl6o6dy @annoyingmarvelreader @bee-a-cool-kid @buzzitsbeee @wintergirlsoilder2 @crow-carcass @you-bloody-shank @distinguishedmakerpandapatrol @magnificentcreatorpenguin @50shadesofcrocs @rayrlupin @kingshitonly @brekkers-desigirl @hutaos-gh0st @kayane28 @nevaeh-jasso @lizlil

[roonilwazlibweasley]

@roonilwazlibweasley 's 500 followers celebration

Thank you to everyone from the bottom of the heart for following me, I’m so grateful for everyone one of you <3

Themes: the marauders era characters

Rules: send me an ask or message with the title and I’ll answer! send as many as you want, I’ll answer all!

Date: august 25th - september 1st

Fandoms: harry potter, percy jackson, the vampire diaries, the originals, teen wolf

°∴,*⋅✲°∴,*⋅✲°∴,*⋅✲°∴,*⋅✲°∴,*⋅✲°∴,*⋅✲

James Potter: start a conversation with me! Ask me whatever questions you have about me! Keep in mind I’m a minor and will not hesitate to block you if you send me inappropriate or uncomfy asks

Remus Lupin: no context ships! Send me a random fact about yourself and I’ll ships you with someone [please specifiy fandom and gender of the person you want]

Sirius Black: I’ll give you headcanons on a specific character or scenario you give me!

Peter Pettigrew: the usual celebration games - cym, fmk, would you rather, truth or dare [keep in mind that the dare part will have to stay online, so give me a dare I can do on tumblr!]

Lily Evans: I'll give you a brutally honest opinion on a character of your choice

Marlene McKinnon: I’ll give you a song that reminds me of your blog [moots only]

Dorcas Meadows: I'll tell you my first opinions on you + a love letter [moots only]

°∴,*⋅✲°∴,*⋅✲°∴,*⋅✲°∴,*⋅✲°∴,*⋅✲°∴,*⋅✲

special thanks to @percyweasleyspuff for helping me decide the theme! I also kinda stole the layout from her

now for my amazing moots who I love so very much <3

@g1nny-p0tter @acciorxses @justadreamyhufflepuff @yelena-my-love @nousheen @percyweasleyspuff @just-a-smol-spoon @fucky-bucky @stiffsockz @untowardflower @creative-girl @confuscita @wolfstar-lb @itsmentalillness @denizoid @shes-mine @gold-russh @mira-cant-spell @ghost-spidey @reggies-baby @loonyloopylupin5 @remuslupininskirts @accio-marauders-bullshit @mrs-jj-maybank @sethclearwatermybeloved @fire-balls-wiftie @railmeharrypotter @dr4cking @nousheen @oliverwoodmarrymepls @noceurwhore @siriuslypotterthings @buggypuff @marauders-lupin @qqueerdearr and so many more wonderful people who I'm forgetting because I have the memory of a snail <3

[thatonesongyouretryingtoremember]

Daily affirmations:

Jesus Christy Song You Have Given A Shit About Spidey Will And MJ Wheeler For Less Than A Day You Don't Need To Make A willloveinterestgate/wheelerverse Style RP Blog

[daggery]

tagged by @infiniteecosmos to search for the following words in my writing and post snippets, tyyyyyyy for the tag <3 

@nicolasnelson @callous-and-misunderstood if you want to do this tag game: your words are grow, red, noise, careful, curious 

follow (the rotten four discover swivel chairs 😌)

Mal conducted a slow, experimental spin. A faster turn quickly followed. Then another. She paused to say, “Hmmm,” then decided that they had bothered to come all the way here so they might as well take the chair back with them. Her reasoning was that they might be in Auradon now, but they still needed their spoils. They were evil! They were rotten! Taking stuff that didn’t belong to them was practically in their blood, and this chair right here was ripe for the picking.

Carlos called bullshit. He knew the exact moment she fell in love. He could see it in her eyes.

dig (UHHH i wrote a very scattered 500 words for a spiderverse au where everyone is a spidey and in this scene carlos was standing at the edge of the roof and harry shoved him off for giggles and then jay revenge-shoved harry off the roof and then this part happens where gil is nice. btw this is literally all of the words that i wrote for this scene :D)

Dizzy clutched at Celia's arm, digging in her fingers as they peered down the side of the building with wide eyes. Gil sidled up next to Jay, who raised his eyebrows at him in question.

“Come on,” Gil said, “I wouldn't do that to you.”

“Bro,” Jay said.

“Bro,” Gil agreed.

then they fistbump!!!!! yeah!!

bright

Mal’s eyes were dull and muddied in color. Evie suddenly ached for the bright green she knew was hidden beneath the glamour. Lately, the only times she seemed to see her real eyes was when something inside Mal was threatening to break.  

peace (idk about the phrasing here so vibes only rn <3)

His world shrank, if only momentarily, into the bubble of this room, hugging him with the familiarity and warmth of a blanket. It was peaceful and safe here: with Jay, lazing on the end of the bed; with Mal, her head against his shoulder; with Evie, humming a simple melody.

need (song as in a siren’s song!! cecaelia sea witch uma! and evie is a siren)

Uma didn’t need a song. If she wanted to, she could easily grab his two ankles and drag him into the water, dive down deep and let the ocean do the rest.

[clumsyclifford]

Hi! Are you still taking prompts? Would you do one where Alex is stressed out on tour and Jack comforts him?

hi anon this is sorta kinda what you asked for but also not really. but mostly yes. and it kicked my writer's block so i should thank you. even though i really just took advantage of this existing prompt to write some emo bullshit. enjoy

read here on ao3

-

No one can find Alex.

He’s not in the tour bus and not in the venue, and he’s not answering his phone or any of his texts, which pretty much covers all of everyone’s guesses. They bring the problem to Jack, and Jack says, “Did you check the roof?”

“What?” says Flyzik, who looks like he’s mentally filling out his resignation form.

“Let me look,” Jack says. He doesn’t know why they insist on levying a whole search party before asking him; he always knows where Alex is. Jack calls it his spidey-sense. Alex calls it “fucking creepy.”

“If he’s on the roof, don’t tell me,” Flyzik says as he goes. “I need plausible deniability!”

It’s windy out, enough that Jack draws up the hood of his hoodie and pulls the strings as tight as they’ll go. Even brief exposure to the world puts a chill in his fingers. Only an insane person would be sitting unprotected on the roof of the tour bus in this weather.

Jack sighs and starts the climb.

As expected, the silhouette of Alex’s profile comes into view as Jack reaches the top. His fingers are close to numb and he’s a little worried he’ll fall; the bus has convenient ridges for climbing but they’re definitely not designed for that purpose, and he’s sure he’s not supposed to be climbing it. But he’s already gotten this far, and Alex is here, unmoving enough that he might have frozen into a block of ice, which means Jack is officially a witness anyway, so he may as well figure out what’s going on.

He clambers onto the roof and hastily pulls his hands back into his sleeves. Careful, he crosses to the middle of the roof, where Alex is sitting like a statue.

“Lovely weather we’re having,” Jack says.

Alex remains unresponsive. Arms securing his knees to his chest like a seatbelt, chin resting atop them, he gazes out into the middle distance, stare as vacant as the parking lot around them.

“Don’t be surprised if Flyzik tries to quit later,” Jack says. “He’s just jealous I can always find you with my spidey-sense.”

Alex says nothing.

Jack bites his lip. It’s unfortunately chilly out, more and more the longer they stay here. How long did Alex spend up here before they realized he was missing? How long has he been sitting in the biting cold?

“Alex,” says Jack, a little lower. “Talk to me.”

Alex slow-blinks, so at least he’s alive. He opens his mouth. “I can’t—” His voice is hoarse; he clears his throat. “I don’t think I can do it. This. It’s too much.”

“Oh,” Jack says. “This is more serious than I anticipated.”

None of his jokes are landing right; Alex just shakes his head, barely. He doesn’t even have a hood on. He must be fucking freezing. Jack is tempted to reach out and touch his hand, just to gauge the temperature, but he’s getting the sense that one wrong move will shut Alex down for real.

“Sorry. I’m listening.”

Alex stares a little more. The look in his eyes is unfocused at best; Jack could set off fireworks right in his line of sight and he doubts Alex would notice, or care.

“Everything is stressing me out,” Alex says. “Everything. Even playing shows feels more like a job now. It’s not fun when I’m exhausted all the time, every day. Like, I drag myself out of bed and go answer the same fucking questions about the same fucking songs and then every night I have to go play the same fucking set over and over and tell every damn city they’re the best show we’ve played. I spend so much of my day just. Lying. That sucks, man.” He shakes his head again. “I thought when I got to be like all the musicians I admired that I could do it like them, like blink always did, and just be authentic and be myself and that we could be a cool band who’s real, not like all those cheesy media-trained cookie-cutter boy bands, but. We’re not. We’re just cookie-cutter in a different way.” The set of his shoulders doesn’t change, but his words come out faster, worked up, intense. “I’m not real. Blink wasn’t real. Nothing about this is real. None of this is real, Jack, I’m singing songs about people who don’t exist and relationships I haven’t had and stuff I haven’t done, and if I can’t be real about it then what the fuck is the point of doing it at all?”

Jack swallows. He could so easily fuck this up, can feel how delicate it is, and yet he’s completely at a loss. What is he supposed to say to that, exactly? Agreeing with Alex won’t help, but disagreeing won’t help, either.

“Yeah,” he says, stalling.

Alex isn’t done. “And,” he says, with a renewed dejection, “I can’t sleep, and it’s fucking freezing cold out here, and I just wish we could have more than one night in the same bed. Real bed. I want to sleep in a real bed for more than a couple hours at a time. I’m so fucking tired.”

Jack hums. He’d like that, too, for both of them, for all of them. Alex’s pseudo-insomnia isn’t news, but he’d always given the impression he was fine in spite of it. Or “dealing with it.” In retrospect, they should have checked in with him.

It’s just, Alex doesn’t like being checked on. He’s stubborn when he wants to be, and he’s too proud for his own good. His problems are locked in a safe behind a shiny brass door and a keypad whose code changes every day. Sometimes Jack guesses it by pure chance. Sometimes he’s as pitifully locked out as everyone else.

“I talked to my mom and she told me to see a doctor,” Alex says hollowly. “I thought she meant for, fuckin’, melatonin or whatever. So I said I didn’t think that would fix the brain problems and she was like, ‘Not that kind of doctor, honey.’” He breathes sharply out. “Told me to get therapy, basically.”

“Irony, thy name is Izzy.”

“Yeah.”

Finally. Jack can’t help but feel relieved; if Alex is acknowledging his attempts to lighten the mood, there’s hope yet.

“I don’t know,” Alex says quietly. “It’s like…fuck, I probably do need therapy, but…only if I don’t just. Quit right now. If I quit right now, all of these problems will go away. And I can go home, wherever that is, and I can— like, sleep, and I won’t have to talk to annoying interviewers or pretend to be happy when I’m not and I could just. You know?”

“And you would do that?” Jack chews his lip. “Quit right now?” He clenches his jaw, swallows. “Leave us high and dry?”

“I don’t know,” Alex says. “I don’t wanna feel like this all the time, every day, so.”

“Well, these feelings and problems might disappear if you left, but rest assured you would have a new set of feelings and problems,” Jack says. “You would miss me, for one. And that would be debilitating.”

Alex exhales. “I guess.”

“You guess?”

“No, I—” Alex sighs. “Come on, Jack, I’m not…I’m not gonna just quit and leave. I’m not.”

Jack can’t help the sigh of relief. “You promise?”

“No,” Alex mutters.

“That’s fair.”

“It’s just…like…how do I know what to choose? At what point am I putting the band over myself?”

The only answer Jack has is when the band starts making you miserable, but that just sounds like what Alex has been describing. They’re not out of the woods yet; Alex is still very much teetering at the edge of this cliff.

“Would you be happier if you weren’t in it?” Jack asks. As soon as he says it he wants to take it back. It’s too easy to imagine Alex nodding his head in response, maybe ushering in a brand-new realization. Maybe Jack has just sealed their fate in a bad way.

“No,” Alex says. His gaze travels down to his beat-up Converse. Jack watches his eyes move without seeing.

“Are you happy now?” he asks quietly.

Alex turns his head, locking his impassive stare onto Jack for the first time. It changes as he does, melting like ice, watery droplets of distress streaking the glacial exterior. Like wiping away condensation to see through glass, the dull disguise dissipates, and Alex watches Jack with sad eyes.

“Not really,” he says. “But I don’t think it’s the band. I think it’s my fault.”

“How so?”

“Attitude problems?” Alex lifts a shoulder, looks back at his shoes. “I don’t know. I could try. Instead of giving up. I contemplate running away at least once a day. That can’t be normal. Even for this job. Especially for this job.”

“I don’t know, Zack’s snoring does things to a man,” Jack says. Alex huffs. “Well, look. Can I say something as someone who’s known you for years? And been your best friend and seen you grow up and blah blah blah?”

“Sure,” Alex says. “I’m most interested in the blah blah blah part.”

Jack rolls his eyes. “I just mean, not as your bandmate who’s trying to get you to stay. Not even as your friend who’s trying to get you to stay. Just honesty, right? Just being real.” Alex inclines his head. “Um, okay, well…you love this job.” Alex sighs, and Jack says, “I know, and maybe you don’t feel like it right now, but you do. Trust me, okay? I know you think you would know best because you’re the one who’s inside your brain but your brain is lying to you, about this and a lot of things, and it always has, but I never lie to you. I don’t lie to you. You’re like the only person I never lie to. Everyone has one person like that and you’re mine.”

It's hard to tell, but Alex might be smiling. Imperceptibly. Jack takes a breath.

“And, so, obviously I want you to stay in the band because I’d lose my job and/or be fucking miserable if you left, but I want you to be happy too, and I know you won’t be happy if you leave. ‘Cause you’ll miss me, maybe, but eventually you’ll miss the shows and the music and even the annoying interviews. And Alex, honestly, not a single person in those crowds believes you when you say it’s the best show of the tour. You’re not lying to them, and you’re not being any less yourself just because sometimes you put on a front. Everyone does that. Every person in the goddamn world pretends to be someone else sometimes, how do you think people get jobs? You think people go into job interviews and say ‘By the way, I know every word to ‘Rap God’ by Eminem and I play for both teams but I prefer dudes’? Of course not, man. Stuff like that is personal, and just because you aren’t saying it doesn’t mean you’re being fake. You’re still you. I promise you, on my life, you are real. Some of this” — he gestures around them— “is staged, but some of real life is also staged, like my mom would always make us clean our house before we’d have guests so they wouldn’t know that we live in filth every other day of the week. But you are real, Alexander William Gaskarth. You are as real as they come. Okay?” He swallows. “Am I making sense?”

“I hate to admit it,” Alex mumbles, “but yes.”

“Thank God,” Jack says under his breath. He presses his lips together. “It’s not perfect, obviously, none of this is perfect, nothing is perfect. But the solution isn’t to run away or quit. I’m sorry, but it’s not. You’ll fucking hate yourself.”

“I know.”

“But we can fix it,” Jack says. “Some of it, at least, like you could see a real doctor and maybe they could give you the good drugs so you could at least get a normal amount of sleep, and maybe that would help. I don’t know, I can only do so much, but it’s not hopeless, you know?”

“Okay, okay,” Alex says. “You’ve convinced me.”

“Are you just saying that so I’ll stop talking?”

“No,” Alex says, shooting him a look. “I get it. I love my job.”

“You believe me.”

“Yeah, I know you’re right.” Alex breathes out, and it sounds suspiciously like a laugh. “You’re right. My brain lies to me, but you really never do.”

“Yeah,” Jack says. “Gotta be good for something.”

“You’re good for a couple things,” Alex says. “Not too shabby on guitar.”

“Pretty sure if you check my resume, the first thing right at the top is ‘Alex Gaskarth’s Best Friend.’ It’s, like, my full-time job. The band thing is just to pay the bills.”

“Barely.”

“Yeah, barely.”

This time they both laugh. Relief settles in Jack’s chest, light and airy.

“It is so fucking cold out here,” he says. “You think we could maybe get on the bus?”

“Yeah,” Alex says. “I’m completely numb. Literally cannot feel any of my limbs. Not sure I still have them.”

“No wonder you’re miserable, you self-sabotaging asshole,” Jack says, and reaches for Alex’s hand.

It’s icy in Jack’s, but even as they both shiver themselves upright, Jack can feel the barest hint of warmth steal between their palms, like thawing Alex out is as simple as holding on.

And maybe it is. It can’t hurt to try.

[wheresmybuckyhoes]

The 3 forbidden words

Summary: What does Bucky do when you accidently let slip the 3 words everyone fears to say first in a relationship?

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x reader

Warnings: Angst, loss of loved ones, swearing, references to sex, depression, numbness

This is another wonderful ask from @summerdaughter. This is quite an angsty fic, but as promised I ended it with a lot of fluff. Enjoy my lovelies x

*2 years ago*

You let out a satisfied sigh as you finished leafing through the mission briefing, sliding a rusted paper clip onto the thick stack of paper to hold it all together. You tossed it carelessly onto your bed side table, reaching over with a small groan to switch of the night light. You fell back into the warm embrace of your bed, eyes fluttering shut. Finally some rest. Finally you can silence your thoughts and drift off into blissful sleep. Finally you can quieten thoughts that you don’t dare let yourself think of even for second, for fear you will spiral back into the numbness that had consumed you since Thanos... Finally, you can sleep. But almost as soon as relief washes over you, your body tenses up once more and you see their faces in the darkness, eyes snapping open, you almost cry out into the silence.

You always hear people blaming a restless night or two on stress, insomnia or having a lot on their mind. No one ever talks about what losing that which you love can do to a person, when you’re all alone in your bed, accompanied by only the still silence of the empty room you spend most of your time in and your own prison - cell of a mind. It’s then, in the dead of night, that you miss them most. You miss their playful jokes, the way they would laugh with you, the way they would cry with you, the way their touch felt upon your skin. You missed Tony’s stupid inventions he gifted you when you were sad. You missed the feeling of Nat’s careful fingers braiding your hair when you were too tired to do so. You missed feeling like nothing could hurt you ever again when you were in Steve’s arms. For most, when darkness fell like a blanket upon the Earth, it was time to go to sleep. Not you, apparently.

You pushed yourself out from between the blankets, exposed feet making contact with the cool wooden floor. You swept the hair off your neck into a loose ponytail, the slight draft from the open window tickling your nape. You didn’t mind it in the slightest. You cringed at every creak and whinge of the floorboards, knowing you wouldn’t forgive yourself for waking Sam or Peter who both also barley got enough sleep as it is. You mindlessly made your way to the kitchen, lost in thought. You wanted some sort of alcoholic drink, something to dull your senses and numb your body. Maybe you would make some tea and spike it with vodka, or maybe you would just skip the tea and go straight for the vodka. You were surprised to find Bucky pulled up to the bar as you turned the corner, sipping generously on a whiskey, your breath catching as you took in his moon - lit frame. He was wearing grey sweatpants, tied loosely, but evidently he had chosen to wear nothing to cover his toned back which you found oddly calming to watch as he inhaled and exhaled slowly. You tried to match your speed with his, only just now noticing how quickly you had been breathing. He turned around, not a single hint of surprise or shock registering on his face as he beckoned with his head for you to sit beside him. You obliged gratefully, happy to have some company for once.

*one week ago*

‘and Wanda?’ you ask, Doctor Strange’s hologram stood in front of you as you nibbled on some toast. ‘We’re not sure. Last we heard, she had broken into some SWORD facility. I’ll update you if we find anything else’ he replied, giving you a sad smile with a million different meanings behind it. ‘...and how are we dealing with Morgan?’ you asked, voice breaking as you tried not to think about how she has to grow up without a father, just like you did. ‘Pepper is doing just fine with Happy’s help. Don’t worry about her, y/n. You’ve got enough on your plate as it is’, Strange replied sympathetically. You nodded dutifully, thanking him and switching off the device. ‘They’ll find her, y/n. Don’t worry. They have to’ Peter comforted you, patting your shoulder apologetically. He may not have known Wanda for long, but he knew how close you two were, and don’t get me started on how closely he sympathised with Morgan Stark. 

Peter soon left after he had downed a few cups of shitty coffee, promising to return in the afternoon. You had seen him try to grab his suit without you noticing, but you decided to leave him be, saying nothing to Sam as he also left to go help out with something in Wakanda. You had been alone for an hour or so at most when Bucky strolled in, humming to himself a song which seemed all too familiar. ‘What’s that song. I know it’ you questioned, patting the couch as Bucky slumped down beside you. ‘I don’t know the name, doll’ he sighed, swinging his arm around the back of your shoulders, in a way that almost seemed like he was sort of shielding you. You always felt safe beside Bucky. You pulled his face against yours, kissing him softly as he cupped your face gently with his metallic fingers. ‘I was worried Spidey boy was going to hog you forever’ Bucky laughed, brushing his thumb over your bottom lip making you giggle. You sighed contently as you melted into his warm embrace, inhaling his heavenly, euphoric scent. Without thinking, the 3 forbidden words poured out of your mouth before you could stop yourself. I love you. Withdrawing his hand abruptly, you noticed Bucky’s eyes widen slightly in a panic, his hands meeting each other in his lap, flesh fingers tracing over metal ones as he always did when he was uncomfortable. ‘...this couch. I love this couch’ you corrected yourself awkwardly, not wanting to make eye contact for fear of tears from your eyes at once, like blood from a wound. Uncontrollable, painful.

But as Bucky laughed nervously, getting up to grab a mug of tea, you bit your lip in deep thought. You had been dating for almost 2 years, now. It was easy, and made sense, finding comfort in each-other after suffering the same loses. It had been going well, even better than well. Great. You had slept together after only a few weeks, finding his touch not only pleasurable, but comforting, almost filling one of the many holes puncturing your heart. You never felt the need to label yourself, confident that Bucky wanted and felt the same as you, reciprocating your love for him. But what if you were wrong?

But if he felt the same as you, why then, was he so scared of saying ‘I love you’ back? You got up, shaking slightly as you walked around the kitchen island to stand in front of him. ‘I love you, Bucky’ you stated, looking him straight in those big blue eyes. Bucky on the other hand suddenly found his cup of tea super interesting, staring at it intently. You shook your head with frustration, taking the cup out of his hand and placing it down harshly on the countertop with a sharp bang, tea spilling over the sides. ‘Why won’t you say it back, Barnes?’.

Bucky almost choked on air as ‘Barnes’ fired from your mouth. Now he knew you were angry, but he didn’t understand. ‘I don’t understand’ he said truthfully, finally finding your eyes with his own. ‘Why do we need to say it out loud when we’re both thinking it anyway?’ he asked you, a look of genuine confusion splayed across his face. ‘That’s what people like us usually do’ you replied, reminding yourself to hold your tongue carefully and not let your bad - temper take over.

‘What do you mean, people like us?’ he continued with his previous style of stupid questioning, and you wondered how someone could be this daft. ‘A couple, Bucky! Boyfriend and girlfriend. People who are dating. Lovers. Partners. Must I continue?’ you replied, losing your patience with him. You had already been through so much pain, did he really need to inflict even more. ‘I told you when we started this thing, doll, I wasn’t ready to date. I had just lost Steve...’ you noticed a slight waver in his voice at the mention of Steve, and you too slightly winced upon hearing the name of your beloved friend who had left you both when you needed him most. At the same time, hearing him call you doll when you were so enraged just ticked you off even more. ‘...and I wasn’t ready to be romantically involved with anyone’ he finished, waiting to see your reaction. If ever there was a time for Bucky to be scared, it was now.

You bit down harshly on your tongue to stop yourself from crying, because you knew once you let the pain in, it would never stop. ‘But it’s been 2 years Bucky. I thought...’ you waved your hand dismissively in the air as if you were waving an actual thought away. ‘So it was just sex to you?’ you finally dared ask, the question almost a punch to Bucky’s gut, causing him to writhe under your burning gaze. ‘No, doll, no it wasn’t just sex I never -‘ he tried to scramble for some sort of logical explanation, but you were hurt beyond belief.

You exhaled humorously, laughing to yourself. ‘You’re the winter soldier, Bucky. Enhanced to live many more years than the average human. You and Steve both. Need I remind you I’m just a weak mortal, like them. Just like Tony, and Nat, and look where they ended up. Dead’ you spoke the last word with such pain and sharpness, it was like you had stabbed Bucky with one of his own knives, and Bucky almost trembled. You forgot he could hear your heartbeat, part of the perks of being ‘enhanced’, as you called it, and your heart was racing faster and faster with every passing moment. All he could do was listen to it race away, and try not to let his own one break.

‘You may still have battles to fight. People to avenge, people to make amends with. But I am so done with this bullshit Bucky. I’ve lost enough to know that I never want to kill another soul again. Thanos was the last. Thanos is the last. I want to settle down. Maybe even start a family one day, I don’t fucking know. I was hoping it could be with you’ Bucky tried to interject but you held up a red tipped finger, silencing him.

‘If your not ready, that’s fine. I’m ok with that. You know why, Barnes? Because I fucking love you, and I’ll never stop loving you, till the end of the line’  your lip quivered with that last sentence, shoving him back and racing to the elevator to escape this place, to escape him. You don’t know how many hours you were gone for, but when you came back, he was gone.

*now*

‘It’s not your fault he’s gone, y/n. Don’t you dare blame yourself, he made his choice’ Sam spoke gently, a solemn, understanding look passing between him and Peter. You plastered a fake smile on your face, one not quite reaching your eyes as you reassured them you weren’t blaming yourself. A lie.

Bucky was gone when you came back the day of your fight, all that was left was a note scrawled in his old-fashioned handwriting. You noticed parts of the ink was slightly smudged in an odd sort of way, like salted tears had fallen upon it. I’m sorry doll. I love you so much, I really do. I’m just so unbelievably scared that if we became serious, I would just end up hurting you, just like I did them. You blinked back tears, realising he was referring to Steve, Nat and Tony. ‘It’s not your fault baby’, you whispered to the empty room.

The ringing of the doorbell stirred you from your thoughts, causing you to jump. ‘Wait here’ Sam commanded you as him and Peter entered the elevator and travelled down to see who was bothering what was left of the avengers. You watched the numbers go all the way from 6 down to 0 as the elevator evidently reached the ground floor.

A few minutes passed. You sat at the kitchen table, sipping gingerly on that shitty coffee you all loved so much before you heard the elevator ding as it slid open to reveal Sam, Peter and Bucky stood inside. It was then that Peter suddenly decided he had to help Sam with ‘stuff’, as the spider boy so poetically and subtly put it. You glared at the boys as they shuffled around in the small elevator, swiftly making a getaway, as Bucky timidly stepped out. You crossed your arms.

‘Back again so soon? Here to hurt your other friends?’ you shot at him, pushing down the feeling of guilt as soon as the words left your mouth. You seemed to have forgotten the words of his note as quickly as you had read them. Bucky walked up to you, nervously to say the least, reaching into his pocket. You raised your eyebrows in confusion awaiting his response, as he took a deep breath.

The look of confusion soon morphed into shock as the super soldier gracefully got down to one knee, pulling out what you recognised with awe to be a ring. ‘I’m so sorry I hurt you doll. Took me a few days to get my shit together, realise Steve would kick me for leaving if he was still here, find the right one (he nodded towards the ring held so carefully in his hands), and I couldn’t let you down again...won’t let you down ever again. I love you more than I could ever put into words and would love nothing more then to be with you...till the end of the line’ You struggled to hold in tears as you hands flew to your mouth, the first real smile of many days growing to cover your face. Your shaky breaths only quickened as Bucky smiled at you like a happy puppy, at last sure of where he wanted to be, and who he wanted to be with.

‘Y/n S/n, will you make me the happiest super soldier alive and...’ Bucky tried to say as he held the ring out to you from beneath you, but a high pitched ‘Yes’ escaped from your mouth muffled by your trembling hands as you nodded, cheeks now glistening with tears. ‘You didn’t let me finish, will you...’

‘Yes’ you stopped him again as his sweet eyes crinkled at the sides from both laughter and frustration, as e stood up and you quickly brushed your lip against his impatiently.

‘Marry me, doll’ he finished, as he slid the ring perfectly onto your finger, diamond sparkling in the sunlight as you heard a small squeal from the direction of the elevator followed by the sound of a man elbowing a teenage boy playfully in the ribs. Before he could get another word out, you pulled Bucky in by the collar of his tight leather jacket with one arm ripped off, kissing him deeply, pouring in all your love and affection. You pulled back, reaching for his hand and pulling him towards the bedroom, away from a few certain someones prying eyes.

‘I thought this relationship wasn’t about sex?’ the handsome motherfucker grinned. ‘Oh so you don’t want to fuck me then, Barnes?’ Oh, now he was in trouble. ‘I never said that...’ he replied smugly, tossing you over his shoulder bringing you both to your room, onto the bed and under the covers.

[smiting-finger]

Bin AU Headcanons

Part II of the (〃ω〃) 500 followers! unwritten-headcanon amnesty (some given in response to AO3 comment questions, and others given unsolicited, lol), this time for Out of the Bin and Into Your Heart and from me to you, my heart to yours

Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian

Pre-Wei Wuxian’s first arrest, Lan Wangji was quietly volunteering as general legal aid (helping old migrants with their internet/other service contracts, helping women with their domestic violence paperwork), and then Wei Wuxian gets arrested at a protest and Lan Wangji is not there and he doesn’t know this area of law so he signs up to get involved with Activist Legal Support the next day.

Relatedly: Lan Wangji’s approach to helping Wei Wuxian has always been to turn up, do what needs to be done for Wei Wuxian to achieve his goals and then silently leave again. So when the two goobers eventually move in together (and are finally fully in each other’s space, and fully across each other’s movements), Wei Wuxian goes through a period of constant realisations like “Oh, Lan Zhan, you’re the one who’s been doing this? This as well?! THAT, TOO???”

Pre-fake dating, Lan Wangji knows that Wei Wuxian won’t keep any gifts given by secret admirers, but will shamelessly accept anything that Lan Wangji gives him outright as a friend (”friend”). He derives a petty satisfaction from that, and so has responded more than once to a gift-incident by giving Wei Wuxian a corresponding gift of his own:

So if he heard about the gift socks, he’d go out and get Wei Wuxian a pair of novelty There’s No Planet B! socks, which Wei Wuxian would naturally wear both immediately and proudly with his shortest pair of 4/5ths pants. (And Lan Wangji would stand next to him and somehow radiate smugness without making any change to his expression.)

Needless to say, Wei Wuxian has received a lot of Lan Wangji chocolate (chilli, fairtrade), lunches (homemade, nutritious) and other small items.

Wei Wuxian never even considers the possibility of not putting all his fake-dating eggs into the Lan Zhan basket. And also never stops to think about why that iss.

In re kungfu practice: when sparring against normal people, Lan Wangji does annoyed-leg-sweeps because of “I’ll bring you down every peg to the floor” reasons he’s too well-bred to voice. 

Past recipients of this treatment have included:

Wen Chao, 

Xue Yang at his most obnoxious

Jin Zixuan when gossip about his comments in re Jiang Yanli not being pretty or successful enough to date him (”I can’t believe my mum set me up with someone so mediocre”) is at its height.

This is pre-Wei Wuxian onstage-punch. That comes during the second round of gossip.

With Wei Wuxian (and only Wei Wuxian), however, it’s always leg sweeps and pinning, which is because of ... “irritation”.

The Phoenix Mountain Reserve photo has been Lan Wangji’s favourite shot of Wei Wuxian since it was made publicly available, but he couldn’t use it as a wallpaper for obvious reasons.

Then he agrees to the fake-dating, sees how far Wei Wuxian was going to take it and realised: chansu!

At some point during the fake-dating, Wei Wuxian escalates from the phone entry of Oppa to calling Lan Wangji “Oppa~!” in real life, and then from there to a full “Oppa! Saranghaeyo~!” with the arms-on-head love heart. 

After n iterations of this, Lan Zhan responds with a mirror arms-on-head love heart and a deadpan “Saranghaeyo.” with his face still like (• _ •) and it’s an instant, supereffective K.O. for Wei Wuxian.

Every so often, when another one of his romantic overtures has soared right over Wei Wuxian’s head, Lan Wangji considers Jin Zixuan’s over-the-top demonstrations of affection and thinks (bleakly) “...Jin Zixuan got a singing telegram. Must I also resort to a singing telegram? ; _ ; “

In re: the concert hip-hop number, shirtlessness is the goal all along:

A-Qing (who is also a troublemaker on Lan Qiren’s radar - as soon as he receives the form that says that she and Wei Wuxian will be working together, his spidey senses start tingling) has been constantly referencing it throughout all their practices like: 

“Well, because you’ll be shirtless, you’ll have to make sure to-”

“Yeah, that’s a great idea, totally do that, but remember that you’ll be shirtless too, so-”

Even Song Zichen and Xue Yang know about it and have been visibly bracing themselves for the dress (or undress, lul) rehearsal

Wei Wuxian has missed all of this because of his amazing tunnel vision.

Speaking of Song Zichen and Xue Yang, while they’re having their Moments:

Xiao Xingchen is swanning around like “But do you think the performance had artistic integrity? A-Qing, I’m a little worried that the choreography didn’t do full justice to the abilities of all our members! I hope they don’t think I’m hogging the limelight!”, taunting them with his half-nakedness while he earnestly tries to make sure that all the other dancers are comfortable and happy with the final arrangement

A-Qing fully notices the heart-eye beams shooting over from the wings (and fully notices the same heart-eye beams shooting over during various practices), briefly thinks about saying something to put the two losers out of their misery (because Xiao Xingchen is not the special level of oblivious that Wei Wuxian is), but then thinks ... nah.

During practice back-painting, Wei Wuxian is so focused on Not Looking that his mistimes his ~sexy stretch~ and gets it in precisely when Lan Wangji has turned his back to get the towel, so it really is all for nothing, RIP.

In the reprise back-painting session (and there definitely is one, what with Lan Wangji’s love for marking and the fact that Chinese calligraphers usually sign their name on their work), the levels of both shamelessness and trolling shoot through the roof on both sides:

Wei Wuxian suddenly feels the need to do a lot more whimpering and moaning, and his flinches of “surprise” and wriggling to “get comfortable” suddenly happen a lot more in the hip area than they did before.

Lan Wangji does a lot more touching of the skin he’s about to paint to “warn” Wei Wuxian that the brush is coming (do warnings have to be quite so ... lingering? Only Lan Wangji knows), discovers a sudden need for wrist-pinning to “hold Wei Wuxian still while he works” and his blowing on ink to get it dry suddenly gets a lot more ... sensual ...

Lan Wangji is the teacher that all his babies are always proposing to. They lOvE him with every inch of their tiny baby hearts, and after they get together, Wei Wuxian watches on with a knowing nod, like “My fam, I getcha. Gege will support you in expressing your feelings and we can ALL win!”

Wei Wuxian doesn’t know it, but he has a group of grannies and grandpas wringing their hands over his happiness, too: It’s all well and good that he’s seeing the Lan boy now, but when are they gonna get married, huh? HUH?! WHAT’S THE POINT OF SAVING THE PLANET IF YOU’RE NOT GONNA FILL IT WITH BABIES, WEI WUXIAN???

So once they officially start dating, Wei Wuxian steps into the Cultural Centre like “Ah, our fresh new romance! Even after all this time of fake-dating, I’d better give people some transition time to get used to this new state of affairs!”

And in the background, 73 aunties and grannies are thinking “Look how behind schedule you are, Wei Wuxian!” (because it’s definitely his fault, and not Lan Wangji’s). “Where are the babies? WHERE ARE THE BABIES??”

The wedding advice Wei Wuxian got from the grannies during Mianmian’s wedding prep is liberally flavoured with real life anecdotes like:

“Don’t be like XX’s son. He made the mistake of trying to skimp on the dowry - so disrespectful to people who’ve poured so much love and energy into raising a daughter - and it poisoned the entire relationship.”

“That venue is no good - YY’s daughter had her reception there, and we all had diarrhoea after eating the prawns.”

(And Wei Wuxian is like: “How can you retain all of this bullshit detail about every wedding the Cultural Society has ever witnessed, but still not know how to say the phrase ‘Excuse me, what time is the bus coming’ in English?!”)

Mianmian definitely also gets strong-armed by her excited mother into some glorious(ly terrible) Chinese-style studio wedding photos (with industrial-strength airbrushing and wedding costume changes that span many cultures and many Chinese time periods).

Mianmian swears to never let Wei Wuxian get his grubby hands on that album, on pain of death.

But then her parents host something, and Wei Wuxian goes, and right there, hanging in their living room, is a floor-to-ceiling calendar, featuring Mianmian and Mian-man dressed as Chinese emperor and empress (because Mianmian certainly didn’t want it in her house, but it came with the package.)

Wei Wuxian makes a noise that Mianmian previously thought only dolphins could produce, and proceeds to take SO MANY photos with his phone.

At some point after Mianmian’s wedding, Lan Wangji comes out of the shower to find:

1 pair of pyjama bottoms waiting for him on the bed; and

Wei Wuxian in the corresponding top (which doesn’t cover his butt after all, but whatever, he’s committed), shooting him a double-thumbs up and wearing an expression like 8D!

(And Lan Wangji decides it’s not worth fighting and just goes with it.)

Lan Qiren

Lan Qiren is totally the kind of parent who never boasts about his children directly, but will listen politely to you telling him about how your son scored 86 in his maths examination, and wait for you to obligation-ask about his kids before casually saying, “Oh, Wangji? He scored full marks” and smiling thinly.

He’ll add “Sounds like your son worked really hard” for extra fuck you value if you were being particularly obnoxious.

The greatest tragedy in his parenting life is realising that if your children are The Best, it’s only possible for them to marry down.

His initial feelings regarding Wei Wuxian dating his nephew can probably be summed up as: “Wei Wuxian, I did not lovingly raise my precious Lan Wangji just to give him to you!!!” 

(The problem is that his nephew (inexplicably) likes Wei Wuxian so much, mumblegrumble.)

For weeks after The Resentment of Lan Qiren, every time Lan Qiren sees Wen Ning, he shakes his head sadly to himself and mutters “What a shame, what a shame.”

When Wen Ning responds with a slightly panicked “?!”, Lan Qiren just pats him on the shoulder, like, “No, no, it’s not you. We can’t choose our relatives. And isn’t that the greatest shame in the world?” - and then DOESN’T EXPLAIN ANYTHING.

And after many bouts of thinking and rethinking still lead him to the conclusion that Wei Wuxian is the best choice in comparison to all the other available options, Lan Qiren may or may not visit Cangse Sanren’s grave to burn some incense for an excuse to stand there and offer a sullen, “You fukken got me again, you bastard. I can’t believe you.”

He doesn’t know who he hates more:

Wei Wuxian for being himself and yet still the best choice

Cangse Sanren for not letting being dead stop her from continuing to be a thorn in Lan Qiren’s side

Wen Ruohan for being undesirable enough to disqualify the only valid competitor

The other parents for failing to produce children who are better than Wei Wuxian 

(Like: Surely it can’t be that hard if he (+ his brother + his sister-in law) managed to produce two)

So he settles for hating everyone.

For his next birthday, Lan Xichen sends him a box of blood-pressure-lowering supplements.

Lan Qiren is like “!!!” but he still takes them because just because his nephew is being impudent does not mean there is not also a Need.

In re 3zun:

Lan Qiren goes around determinedly Not Thinking about Nie Mingjue and Jin Guangyao. Every time his eyes approach something he doesn’t want to see, he just turns his head like NOPE.

He eventually realises that he and Wei Wuxian have this in common and that Wei Wuxian is therefore his most valuable ally - both in terms of having someone to pivot to and have very loud, very enthusiastic conversations about anything else whenever the 3zun do something they don’t want to see, and also having someone to commiserate with about Not Wanting to Know. (But because they’re them, they alternate between teaming up for self-preservation and using their mutual weakness to take petty jabs at each other.)

"-If two of them are dating, then where does that leave the third one?!"

"RIGHT? Imagine finding out that they were silently pining away, forced to third-wheel for their unrequited love and best friend - unrequited LOVES AND BEST FRIENDS? What would you say to that?!"

"That's not even considering which one the third wheel would be - I honestly don't know which option would be the worst, they're all terrible."

"I'm almost ready to say that I'd rather they all be dating each other, except then I'd have to think about how that would work, dynamic-wise, like - who calls the shots? Do you think Nie Mingjue is domineering all the time, or do you think it’s a public front, and he then goes home to be dominated by-"

“STOP.”

Even before 3zun get together (both Lan Qiren and Wei Wuxian have chosen to Never Know when this is), Jin Guangyao is throwing out suggestive comments left and right and then immediately whipping out his (◔◡◔✿) face for anyone’s double-take:

50% to test the waters of public sentiment before he makes a move and it actually becomes his problem

50% because he’s a troll who likes dominance displays

Knowing this factoid, one of Wei Wuxian’s mental 3zun Dynamics possibilities features Superdom!Jin Guangyao, but he does his best to avoid thinking about that.

After Lan Qiren mentally accepts Wei Wuxian into the fold:

He still internally responds to at least 50% of the things that Wei Wuxian does with “Why, that little shit”, but it’s also implied that Wei Wuxian is their little shit now.

And for Lan Family! Qiren, this means: If you shit on him, WE shit on you.

“Shufu” 

Lan Qiren definitely Notices when Wei Wuxian calls him that, but it Doesn’t Do to make a fuss.

He probably has a conversation with Lan Xichen sometime around the first family dinner that goes:

LQR: You've noticed that he's still calling me 'Uncle Qiren' like we're nothing to each other.

LXC: ...If you want him to call you Shufu, should you perhaps not mention that to him?

LQR: What? No, he should already know these things!

And then after the wedding:

LQR: Your brother's boyfriend is finally acting like one of the family. LXC: Haha, oh my.

Jiang Yanli and Jin Zixuan

Although their mothers have been friends for ages, Jin Zixuan grows up in a different city, so they don't see each other growing up. The Jins later move for Jin Zixuan's high-flying corporate job, Madam Jin joins the Culture Society at her friend's behest and immediately falls in love with Jiang Yanli as a daughter-in-law. 

After a lot of cajoling (in both directions), she gets them to agree to one date, which is a disaster (I have more headcanons about this but they won't fit in here) 

Jin Zixuan has a lot of money and zero sense of proportion, which does not generally result in tasteful things. (Where Jiang Yanli is concerned, his desire to keep up a "cool" image is completely overpowered by his desire to please, so that doesn't help either. Like a golden retriever who wants people to think he's a cat.) 

After they get married, Wei Wuxian sometimes thinks about the peacock's peacocking rituals, like: "It's good that he's gotten more reasonable now that they're married - no, wait, what if he hasn't gotten more reasonable, but there's just no one around to see it because they're married?!" and never gets brave enough to ask his sister about it. 

After Jin Ling's birth, Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng (and maybe even Jin Zixuan) get locked in an ongoing battle for Jin Ling's affections. Jiang Yanli is the clear favourite, as she should be, but they all want to be #2, and their constant jostling is how he ends up with no chill despite being raised by one calm mum and one aloof (but secretly disaster) dad

But because Jiang Yanli is around, he's very polite about it: the kind of kid who barrels in screaming blue murder, skids to a halt and says "Auntie", and then tears out screaming blue murder again

Wei Wuxian tones it down a lot after he and Lan Wangji adopt A-Yuan because he’s got better things to do, but it’s still A Thing (during visits, A-Yuan spends a lot of time in Auntie Yanli’s lap being gently fed things while his dad and shushu yell at each other over the top of his cousin’s head)

Lan Xichen and Jiang Yanli

Initially brought together by their brothers, they now meet up for regular, peaceful, wholesome tea-dates where they discuss the lives of their mutuals and gently exchange advice (and strategies on how to keep their angry-angry parent/proxy-parent's blood pressure down.

Whereas Jiang Cheng gets closer to coughing up blood with every year that passes by without Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji getting their shit together, Lan Xichen and Jiang Yanli take the more optimistic view of "Look at how well-prepared we are, we've just run another year ahead of schedule!"

Dinner Crew

Jiang Cheng has been the unwilling audience to years of Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji’s bullshit. 

If asked, he would say: “And you wonder why I’m so angry?! What do you mean ‘dating’, you’ve been fucking married for the last five years!” but no one ever does :’D

Every so often, he thinks about how happy their sister is about the dating situation because she doesn’t know that it’s fake, and he grinds his teeth because why can’t he also not-know!?

To this, Nie Huaisang says, “If we didn’t know we couldn’t help!”

And Jiang Cheng replies, “WE’RE NOT HELPING ANYWAY, LOOK AT HIM!!!”

Meanwhile, Jiang Yanli continues to gush about how happy she is for Wei Wuxian and all Jiang Cheng can do is laugh really unnaturally because he has to “Be strong, Jiang Cheng! Be strong for A-jie! ╥﹏╥”

He goes to read the comments on the Society Facebook after the fujoshi conversation, and gets so angry at all these people who are like “Ah, their love is so beautiful!” that he has to uninstall his Facebook app, and go and shout into a cupboard somewhere.

The non-Wei-Wuxian members of the dinner group have set up a separate chat to act as a support group, where they all go to:

Wail and gnash their teeth after Wei Wuxian does something particularly dumb

Scheme ways into getting Wei Wuxian to get a clue

Console one another when someone’s brave attempt at getting Wei Wuxian to face the truth fails miserably (because while they play by the rules of ‘what a normal human would do’, Wei Wuxian lives by the principle of ‘lol norms are for losers’.)

Relatedly: for every resigned Nie Huaisang face or enraged Jiang Cheng face that Wei Wuxian notices, there are at least three desperate-yet-silent exchanges that he doesn’t. 

Wen Ning is always really optimistic about it, nodding encouragingly like “He’s gonna get it - he’s gonna get it! - oh no, he’s not gonna get it. Oh. Oh no. Ó╭╮Ò”

Wen Ning always has at least one small child hanging off him at all times when he’s at the Cultural Centre because they know he can always be bullied into playing with them and they think he’s great.

Past bullshit dinner group projects have included Getting Jiang Cheng a Date and Making a Picture out of Jin Guangyao’s Forehead Dot While He’s Sleeping

(In re the forehead dot, they end up settling for making it bigger every time he nods off during a movie night at Nie Huaisang’s house, and Nie Mingjue comes home to what’s basically a Japanese flag on Jin Guangyao’s forehead and is like ಠ_ಠ)

Future dinner group projects include providing Wei Wuxian with support for Grand Plans like Getting Along with Uncle Qiren and providing Jiang Cheng with unwanted support for things like Workshopping Jiang Cheng’s List of Partner Requirements

A-Yuan

After A-Yuan’s adoption, Wei Wuxian and Lan Qiren redouble their efforts in Can we divorce an in-law?! because although they couldn’t save themselves from being related to Jin Guangyao, for their PRECIOUS BOY--

Therefore, when A-Yuan is five or six and starts to sound out how he’s related to people and why:

A-Yuan: So if Jin-yeye is Uncle Guangyao’s dad, then that makes him my-

Wei Wuxian: NOTHING!

Lan Qiren (springing up from the other side of the room): NOTHING!

Lan Xichen: lol

At around about this same time, Wei Wuxian, who is never gonna stop trolling Lan Qiren about ruzhui until the day he dies, runs A-Yuan through the “You see, my son, my family is not so well-to-do, and since your Uncle married into the Nie family-” talk, and then proceeds to reference it at every opportunity:

1: Despite A-Yuan almost certainly not asking, and

2: despite (/especially because of) Lan Qiren shouting “DON’T TEACH HIM WEIRD THINGS!” in the background.

(Lan Wangji probably lets it happen or encourages it because he thinks it’s funny)

[petersasteria]

📣 SIGN UP FOR THE NEW DIRECTIONS!! 📣

Another hundred, another sleepover. Sticking to the theme, 'asks' will be changed to 'audition'. Send in your auditions using the following:

🍓 Rachel 🍓 - I'll shuffle my Broadway playlist and I'll dedicate to you the third song that plays + a lyric from the said song.

👔 Kurt 👔 - Tell me something about yourself and I'll tell you which fashion era suits you. (e.g. 60's, 70's, etc.)

🎤 Mercedes 🎤 - Give me a Whitney Houston song + a boy (Tom, Harry H, Haz, Peter Parker) and I'll write your high school love story with them. If I end up liking it, I might turn it into a one shot x (I love high school AU’s)

📣 Santana 📣 - In true Santana Lopez fashion, tell me what you really think of me— no bullshits, just the truth.

⏱ Sue ⏱ - Out of all my works, tell me your LEAST FAVORITE and least favorite character in it. No need to give me a reason as to why. Then Sue Sylvester will insult that character.

🧼 Emma 🧼 - Tell me anything you want and I'll give you advice!

RULES:

You can send in as many as you want.

You can send auditions every day.

Send in your audition with the full name. (e.g. can I get a  🎤 Mercedes 🎤  ? *Whitney H. song* + Peter Parker or I’m auditioning with 👔 Kurt 👔 )

Like last time, this will start today (Aug 29, 2020) until next Saturday (Sept 5, 2020) (lmao i hope this won't flop like last time)

Tagging my mutuals: @imthefloor​ @sandystoriess​ @fancyxholland​ @parkeret​ @hazforpresident​ @blakemedownslow​ @duskholland​ @hjoficrecs​ @marshxx​ @baby-haz​ @halfblood-princess-505​ @dummiesshort​ @spidey-reids-2003​ @parker-potters​ @parkerpeter24​ @deadlyaffairs​ @miraclesoflove​ @spider-pxrkers​ @euphorichxlland​ @unsaidholland​ @chloecreatesfictions​ @frantasmic​ @osterfieldnholland​ @peeterparkr​ @t-holland2080​ @peachybloomss​ @the-panwitch​ @petersholland​ @thirzaholland​ @cosmicholland​ @rubberducky-jrr​ @fallinfortom​ @spidey-sophie​ @theamazingtomholland​ @greenorangevioletgrass​ @fanficparker​ @uglypastels​ @sunflowerhollands​ @marvelousell​ @hazardosterfield​ @tonguetiedholland​ @god-knows-what-am-i-doing​ @dracosmafloy​ @dontmindthefangirling​ @gayfeministbroadwayyeet​ @lovingsiriusoswald​ @saintlavrents​ @nerdyperfectionfire​ @leocoon1d​ @h-osterfield​  @trustfundparker​​ @ghostspf​​ @lcvelyparkers​​ @myblueleatherbag​​ @h0llandshalstead​​ @harrisonloveposts​​ @holland-quackson​​ @justasmisunderstoodasloki​​ @sweetdespairbarnes​​