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byechristopher · 4 months

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pleaseee a fic where chris and reader meet for the first time (she's lowkey sad or some shit like that idk) and he's all starstruck by her 😞

lucky you.

–CHRIS STURNIOLO FLUFF.

Author's note: hey y'all. I got the idea from this lovely anon (thank you for the request!🤍) and combined it with something that actually happened to me. Fate truly works in mysterious ways – so take this long, sappy story (based on true events, pft). I hope you like it! Do not copy/steal my work. :)

Warnings: long, sappy fluff. Very slight angst if you squeeze, but nothing crazy. Very long, didn't proofread!

My mom used to always say – "that's life; when one door closes, another door opens". And if I still lived in the same house with mom, she'd know; I haven't seen an opened door in a long while. It is unfair but it is what it is and I had no intention of succumbing to tears in the solitude of my nightly despair.

Seated on the chilled bench, I instinctively drew my knees towards my chest in a desperate bid for warmth. The sheer elegance of my black tights, though adorning my legs, proved futile against the biting cold. Unfazed, I refrained from complaining; after all, they were my cherished favorites. Mascara was most likely smudged from my previous ugly crying, yet I ignored it, taking solace in my sweater's embrace.

Leaning my head against my knees, my fingers absentmindedly engaged with the laces of my shoes – a subconscious act of distraction. In the midst of this self-imposed solitude, a sudden exclamation pierced the quietude.

"Shit!" I heard a voice, someone angry. The mysterious guy threw his hat on the pavement and scoffed, his hair nearly as messy as mine. His gaze shifted towards me, a thorough assessment from head to toe, "care if I sit next to you?" he asked quickly. Without much ado, I responded with a nonchalant shrug. I didn't care, I had way more things to worry about.

I could feel him rummaging through his pockets, trying to find God knows what, he seemed upset, anxious, "want a cig?" I didn't see him, but I saw his extended arm in front of me. I don't think he was looking at me either.

"Sure." I murmured under my breath, taking a cigarette from him half-empty packet.

"Why does life have to be such a fucking bitch?" I chuckled in response, treating it more as a statement than a question. Offering another shrug, I watched as he scanned the area, likely in search of his lighter.

"If I had the answer to that, I'd probably murder this bitch." I chuckled, he chuckled too.

He held the lighter in front of me and only then did I turn my head to look at him – he was definitely not what I expected to see from what I've heard. While I didn't dwell on it for long, it seemed he did, as seconds passed without his lighter igniting. His intense pale blue eyes remained fixed on mine, and I briefly removed the cigarette from my mouth.

"Hello?" was my mascara that smudged that I scared the guy? He hasn't uttered a word.

"Oh.. sorry." he shook his head, as though attempting to shake off the reverie that had consumed him in the past few moments in his own world, "I just.. didn't expect you to be here?"

"Well.. I'm pretty sure we haven't met before. So how come you didn't expect me?.." I was confused.

"No, I mean.. you are very beautiful." he almost whispered but I caught that, and if I was just a little disconnected from reality, I probably would've blushed.

"Oh. Thank you." my lips turned into a thin line – I put the cigarette back into my mouth, grabbing his lighter instead.

He chuckled, "and I thought I didn't know how to take a compliment." he took his lighter back, taking a puff of his own cigarette.

"Don't you hear like a thousand compliments on a daily basis?" with my knees still pulled up to my chest, I embraced them tightly, resting my head against the comforting curve of my legs.

"Hm. And yet this was the best compliment anyone has ever given me." he placed a leg on the bench, just so that he'd be able to have his whole body face me.

I couldn't help but laugh, "yeah, I'm good at giving things. Not receiving."

He nodded, his hat still on the ground although he didn't seem to care, "understood.." he smiled and wow, he had a nice smile, almost contagious, "a fellow people pleaser, nice to meet you. I'm Chris."

I reciprocated with a nod and a quick smile. My name slipped off my lips swiftly, echoed by him, and I couldn't help but notice how much better it sounded when it rolled off his tongue.

"Will I ever see you again?" he looked me dead in the eye.

"Probably not." I pursed my lips, looking back at him.

He nodded as if he understood and dropped his burnt cigarette to the ground. Chris grabbed his hat and got up, offering another smile, "I believe in fate."

"I don't." I teased, smiling.

"You probably should." he shouted, already far away from me to speak normally.

What an interaction.

It had been quite a while since said interaction. Not that I thought about the guy a lot, but he definitely was in the back of my mind. Even when I was outside, he'd still cross my mind every now and then, like a nice, distant memory.

I chuckled as I gulped down my whiskey – the music was too loud for my own liking but it was a Saturday night and it'd be a pity if I stayed home once again; my friends begged and I actually like hanging out with them. I watched as my friends danced with each other, not too far away from me, as I rummaged through my purse to find the money so I could pay and leave.

"Fucking.. shit.." I cursed under my breath, turning my phone's flashlight on because the lights in that bar were bright as fuck, but apparently not enough to actually help me see.

"D'you need any help?" I heard a somewhat familiar voice shouting behind me. I turned around and my eyes widened when I saw him.

"I.. you!" I was beyond surprised, to say the least, because I was truly convinced I'd never see him again. Not because I didn't want it; but because I had enough on my plate already.

"Shit.." he whispered, and if I wasn't already looking at his lips, I wouldn't be able to know what he said, "..see, I told you fate works in mysterious ways."

"This was just a coincidence." I convince myself.

Was it, though?

"This was no coincidence and you know it.." he grinned and I let my eyes travel down his body for a few seconds – he looked best in black, ".. I need to see you again.." he muttered.

"Well, it seems you will indeed see me again." I smiled.

"Does that mean you'll give me your phone number?" he grinned and I saw his eyes do the same thing mine did to him; check me out.

I hummed, "..hmm.. no. We'll see if fate actually works." I smiled.

"You can't be serious.." he tilted his head, looking at me in disbelief, "I found you again, how can I leave when I don't know if I'll ever see you again?"

"You said you believed in fate."

I found him undeniably attractive and intriguing. However, at that moment, I realized I wasn't emotionally equipped to entertain the idea of liking someone or embarking on dates. The weight of my personal struggles loomed large, and I couldn't shake the fear that if he discovered the extent of my problems, he'd likely reject me. Hence, I concluded it was better to distance myself now rather than risk inevitable disappointment later on.

It's not like I'd see him again.

Truly, it's been more than a month since I last saw him; I did think about him way more often than usual but he still remained a nice, distant memory. A memory that was in the past and would never be in the future.

"Yo, we're leaving already? It's 2AM." my friend whined, although we were already walking down the stairs, toward the exit, with our jackets on and bags in our hands.

"No, love, we're just taking our fucking bags for a little walk." another friend replied, rolling her eyes and I couldn't help but laugh at their bickering.

Immediately after departing from the bar, he made his way out of the restaurant located directly beneath it. You have to be fucking kidding me.

"You.." he whispered, his eyes widened.

My mouth hung open, my eyes as wide as his; I really couldn't believe it this time. This couldn't be a coincidence, right?

"What.. are you doing here?" there was nothing else that could leave my mouth at that time.

"I work here.. now, you can't tell me this is a coincidence." he walked closer to me, although still keeping a distance to be respectful.

It definitely wasn't but I was still in the same mood I was back then.

"I can't tell just yet." I teased him; deep down I wished I could give him way more. But I knew I couldn't.

"Don't.. tell me.. are you not gonna give me your phone number? Again?" he chuckled in disbelief once again. I nodded.

"He better be a murderer, bitch; that's the only valid reason for you not giving him your phone number yet." shit, I completely forgot that my friends were literally behind me, staring at us; they knew nothing about this.

"Stop." I whispered to my friend and I don't think she heard me but she definitely saw the expression on my face.

"Please?" he said and I almost gave in when I saw those eyes.

I have always been self-destructive but this wasn't it, this time. It was realistic, right? I really couldn't do this; I knew he wouldn't be able to keep up with my lifestyle so I was just doing me a favor by saving myself from possible heartbreak. Right?

"I promise you now; if we meet again, I'm opening up to you. Fully. My phone number, my likes, my diskikes." I gave him a teasing smile, which he seemed happy to receive.

"Pinky promise. Now. I trust fate but not you." he chuckled and so did I.

"But you trust my pinky?" I laughed but he seemed serious, despite his playful stare. I sighed, still smiling, wrapping my pinky around his, "..promise."

This would probably never happen. It's fine.

This time, I really thought about him; dreamed about him even. That was very unlike me but it happened either way. I seemed to be doing lots of things that were unlike me lately – like going to this bar again. I wasn't going to see him but I was hoping to.

The whiskey was cold against my lips, my black dress hugging my hips as I sat down on the couch.

"Third time's the charm."

No.

I turned my head and saw Chris speaking to the friend group that were sitting next to ours; I saw them getting up and leaving, Chris replacing them.

"Oh God.. what did you tell them?" my grin was wider than usual, I really wanted to see him after all.

"That.. I needed to sit next to you. And that it was a matter of life and death." he smiled, taking a sip of his own drink.

"You're crazy."

"For you." he said, searching for something.

Before realising, I saw his phone in front of me, signaling me to dial my phone number. And of course, I did.

"So. Start. Tell me everything."

"Do you have free time?" I tilted my head, still looking at him.

"For you? Always." he chuckled.

I cupped his cheeks and pulled him closer, looking into his eyes to make sure he wanted to kiss me as well. And as soon as I felt him leaning towards me, I placed the softest kiss on his own soft lips.

"Take me home?"

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genderqueerdykes · 5 months

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hello, I'm a younger transmasculine person and I was curious about a few things (for reference I live in the us in a fairly left state)

- how do you get started on testosterone?

I've never gotten a clear answer on this, some people said it took a two year queue, others could start immediately. idk when I want to start, but i dont want to be confused on what to do when I get the ball rolling

- are there alternatives to shots, and do they work better or worse?

I dont think I could do the shots myself unless there's no other options, something about them just makes my bones hurt

- how often do you have to apply T, and what happens if you forget to take it?

I'm pretty forgetful and I'll probably not take T on the scheduled date at least once, I hope that won't screw with anything because I don't really know if you've got to be consistent with it

- do you have any tips for clothing/voice training?

I think I pass at least a little okay but my voice is one of the things I'm most self conscious about. I also find myself spending 10-20 minutes every morning pulling my shirt against my chest to see if my binders working, and just end up wearing the same sweater I have for the past few weeks

sorry if that's alot, even if you're a stranger you're the first person I've been able to ask about these things. thank you so much

these are all great questions, i'm so glad you're taking the time to ask! this is extremely thorough and well thought out!

How do you get started on testosterone?

That's a great question, i feel like a lot of people have barriers to this one. if you are in a state where you have access to Planned Parenthood, this is usually a good place to start. check to see if you have a transgender resource center in your area. if not, go to whatever local lgbtq organization you can find, even one in a college. it is also possible to search gender affirming care [area], but clinicians aren't always available via Google

Here is a list of informed consent clinics that provide gender affirming care services, you may want to look here.

The process looks different for literally everyone, that's why no one can give you a clear answer, i'm so sorry! it's such a chaotic process for all of us. some trans men will literally get their prescription for testosterone within a month, others it does take years. do some research and see if therapy is required before hormones will be prescribed in your area. if not, you will likely have a much faster and easier time getting your hormones. if you don't need therapy, generally you'll just need to sign some consent forms and waivers stating that you are aware of what you are going to do to your body.

Are there alternatives to shots, and do they work better or worse?

all forms of testosterone are equally effective, it just depends on the dosage and the person. currently in the united states, you can get topical testosterone in the form of an alcohol based gel! it is applied topically to the upper forearms or abdomen, generally daily. it works just as well as the injectable testosterone, so long as you respond well to it! there is also the option of having your clinician do shots for you if you don't respond well to gel, as well.

nebido also may be available for FtM HRT in your area!

How often do you have to apply T, and what happens if you forget to take it?

Daily for topical gel, anywhere between twice a week, once a week, to once every two weeks for shots, depending on the person, how well they tolerate the medication, their transition goal, and the dosage.

Do you have any tips for clothing/voice training?

In terms of vocal training, AmaRoseLessons, Zoey Alexandria, and Trans Vocal Training are YouTube channels that can help with vocal training exercises, and i can also recommend the r/transvoice subreddit as well if you need help figuring out how to practice and ways to integrate what you learn into how you speak naturally!

For clothing, really anything goes, it depends on what you're going for and how you want to look. Remember that your personal style still gets to be included in the mix! Generally speaking, bulkier shapes that obscure the shoulders, hips and chest help a lot, layering of clothes, and wearing clothes with "boxier" cuts. Heavier shoes like boots may help, you may also find you like dress shoes. it really depends on your personal look, but generally speaking, i say go into the "men's" section and go nuts. Whatever they wear, you can wear too, and it gets the point across.

Hope that helps! Thanks for laying out your ask in such a concise way, that's much appreciated! If you need any more help feel free to ask!

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karuvapatta · 2 months

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More Jonelias Magic AU. This one is kinda short, sorry ^^

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

The lecture hall was filling in quickly. Jon secured a spot for himself in one of the topmost rows, giving him a decent view of the podium even if he would have to squint to make out the writing on the blackboard. And, luckily, no one questioned his presence here.

Master Bouchard arrived five minutes prior to the start of the lecture and began it exactly on time; less punctual students were still entering the hall, but they had to do so under Bouchard’s disapproving gaze. The man was very particular about schedules.

And he was a good speaker, Jon had to give him that: thorough, succinct, engaging. He kept watching his own audience, too, paying attention to their reactions, answering questions and clarifying his points when necessary.

When the lecture ended precisely ninety minutes later, a number of students would still crowd around Master Bouchard, but he excused himself with a polite smile. He had another class to teach in half an hour, and a department meeting after that. He was a busy man.

“Mr Sims. A word?”

Jon startled; he thought he was being inconspicuous, with his head kept down and a group of excitable undergrads in front of him. Nevertheless he could feel the weight of Bouchard’s gaze, and he nodded automatically, making his way forward. The other students were leaving the hall in small groups, chatting amongst themselves, mostly about nonsense. Jon closed the door after them with a sense of relief.

“I thought you took this course already,” Bouchard said.

“I did. In my second year,” Jon said. “But—”

But what, Jon? He had no reason to be here. They both knew it. And he hadn’t thought to prepare an excuse beforehand, so now he just stood there in incriminating silence, faced with Bouchard’s pale eyes and wry smile.

“You have a question,” Bouchard said. “Ask it.”

“I never said I did,” Jon said. Of course he had questions; he always did. It wasn’t such a leap to assume that. But he wasn’t entirely sure what they were as of yet.

Bouchard was waiting for them. It wasn’t—polite, exactly, to take up too much of his time; Jon watched him methodically and neatly sort out his papers and put them away into a briefcase. He had very neat, precise handwriting, Jon couldn’t help but notice.

The golden clasps snapped shut. Jon swallowed.

“Why did you come to the arena?” Jon asked. “That night, two weeks ago. You don’t usually come in that late…” He bit his tongue; now why would he say that, why would he know that?

“Few people do,” Bouchard said. “Except during exam session, naturally.”

“This isn’t an answer.”

“No. It isn’t.”

Jon shook his head, frustrated.

“Then why?” he demanded.

Bouchard said nothing in response, merely continued to watch Jon with an enigmatic smile on his lips. He didn’t owe Jon any answers, obviously; he didn’t owe Jon anything. And yet Jon desperately wanted to get them out of him.

He didn’t move out of the way when Bouchard approached the door. He ought to. But he didn’t.

“You knew I would be there,” Jon said slowly. “You wanted to see me. Is that right?”

“Yes,” Bouchard said.

“Why?”

For a long moment, he was sure Bouchard wouldn’t respond. He had to tell himself that it was fine, he didn’t actually need him to, he really ought to move and let the subject go. So he applied for a job, and didn’t get; it happened before, it would happen again. There was absolutely no reason he should stalk and harass the man who rejected him. It was juvenile, and it reeked of desperation.

But there was more to that. He knew that on a visceral level. If Bouchard had simply rejected and ignored his application, he wouldn’t show up at the arena just to see him. There had to be a reason, and if Jon asked the right questions, maybe he’d get the proper answers.

#jonelias #jonathan sims #elias bouchard #the magnus archives

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hawkeyetrained · 2 years

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SAM!

Sam Winchester x Fem!reader

Other Characters: Dean Winchester, Castiel, Jodie (mentioned), Donna (mentioned)

Warnings: kidnapping, blood, wounds, cannon level violence, might have missed something

Summary: She was tasked with a food run while the boys did research. Someone from the boys past comes back and causes issues

Word Count: 2,203

~~~~~~~~~~

I had been tasked with a food run while the boys continued to research on the latest case we picked up. We were all fairly certain it was a demon, but we just wanted to be thorough. As I was putting the food in the truck of the Impala, Dean had been so generous to lend me, I felt hands wrap around my mouth and something hard crash into my head. Before I knew what was happening, everything went black.

A shrill ringing woke me up, god knows how long after. My phone sat on a table a few feet away from me, the screen lit up and the ringtone cutting through the cold, silent air. I blinked a few times to clear the fuzziness from my head before reaching over to answer my phone, my hands not moving too much. My eyes glanced above my head to see thick rope wrapped tightly around my wrists, already digging into the skin. I could faintly make out the name on my phone, Sam.

A door slammed from somewhere above my head, telling me that I was in the basement of a building, most likely a house. I quickly scanned my surroundings, looking for anything that could help rid my wrists of the rope and get me the hell out of here. Thunks sounded on the stairs, footsteps coming all the way down before I was able to even wiggle my wrists free. “Ahh, you’re awake.” A younger man around twenty said, his dark brown hair slicked back with a black jacket over his shoulders. “I was starting to think you’d never get up.”

“What the hell do you want? Who are you?” He didn’t respond to me. Instead, his fingers wrapped around some rope and he pulled, stringing my hands high above my head with the toes of my shoes barely brushing the floor. I let out a loud groan at the rope digging further into my skin. “What do you want from me?”

The man smiled sadistically. “I want the Winchesters to hurt.” His fingers tightened around the rope connected to me. “They took everything from me, and now, I’m going to take everything from them.”

I scrunched my eyebrows together in confusion. “What are you talking about?”

“Years ago, those boys were hunting a demon, a demon possessing my baby sister.” My heart clenched, this was personal, and personal was dangerous. “They didn’t even try to save her. She was tortured, for hours, before they killed her. I was chained up, watching them. They had the nerve to apologize to me after.”

I pulled against the rope around my wrists as best I could. “I’m sorry. I really am, but what do you need me for? I wasn’t there.”

That smirk flashed across his face again. “You know where they are.”

___

Three hours later, I had a bruise forming under my right eye, a split lip, and cuts across my chest, arms, and legs, the blood staining my clothes and dripping onto my white shoes and the floor. I now had almost twenty missed calls from Sam, Dean, and Cas. Jodi and Donna had even tried texting me, but my bloody wrists proved that I couldn’t get to my phone. “Seems like your boys are really worried about you. If you tell me where they are, I’ll take you to them.”

I took a deep, painful breath and glared at him. “Go to hell.” My ribs screamed in pain as I took deep breaths, trying to stand on my toes to relieve some of the pain in my wrists.

“Where are they!” He yelled, sliding the blade of his knife down my thigh. I bit into the fabric of my shirt, muffling the pain filled scream trying to leave my lips. Another shrill ringing interrupted the cutting of my skin, and I was grateful for it. “Looks like it’s your boyfriend again. Should we talk to Sammy?” He sauntered over to my cell and hit the accept button.

“Hello?” Sam’s voice was scared as it came through the speaker, calling out my name.

“Sam!” My voice screamed for him before I even thought of it, earning myself a slap across my face. The pain brought tears to my eyes, no doubt making my mascara run down my cheeks with the salty water.

I could faintly make out shuffling on the phone and I figured it was Sam putting us on speaker so Dean could hear. “Winchester?” The man said lowly, making himself sound more terrifying.

“Put her on the phone, right now.” Sam demanded, the Impala doors shutting in the background, I was grateful they found it because Dean would surely kill me if I had lost his baby.

“Come get your girl, she won’t last much longer.” The knife was held half an inch from my neck.

“Let me talk to her right now, or I swear to god I’m going to kill you.” Sam’s voice had dropped to a dangerously deep octave, threatening the man.

A smile crossed the man’s face yet again. “You better get here quickly then, she may not be around to see that happen.” With that, he hung up and threw my phone against the stone wall, effectively shattering it.

My heart pounded as the man got closer and closer to me with that knife of his. “Just let me go. Cut me down and leave. The boys will never know who it was, they’ll never know. I won’t say anything.” I had never begged for my life before, and I never thought I would. In the world of hunting, there wasn’t always the time if your life was on the line, and right now, mine was. “Please.” I was running out of fight; my eyes were getting harder to keep open and I knew I had already lost a lot of blood.

“Hold on till the Winchesters get here. I want them to see this, like I did.” He stepped back from me then, allowing the life to slowly drain from my body as we waited for Sam and Dean to get here.

At the moment I thought I would black out; the familiar rumble of the Impala engine filled the silence in the house. My breathing picked up and my eyes frantically scanned the room, hoping to be able to warn my boys before I was killed, or they were. The man in front of me pulled a gun from his pants and stepped behind my body, holing the knife to my neck and the gun towards the stairs. “Call for him.”

“Babe?” Sam yelled through the main floor of the house.

“Call out for us!” Came from Dean, fear evident in both their voices.

The knife was pressed closer to my throat. “Sam! Dean!” I called out, hoping they couldn’t come charging down the stairs.

Soon enough, their heavy boots stomped down the stairs. They rounded the corner, their guns raised until they noticed me and my position. “You ok?” Dean spoke first, his eyes locking with mine for a moment.

I nodded quickly, the knife pressing harder to my skin. Tears cut through my makeup and mixed with my blood. “Sammy?” My voice was cracked and broken, I was close to giving up.

“You’re going to be ok, sweetheart. I promise.” He was calm and collected as both he and Dean stepped closer. “Let her go, you have us now. You don’t need her.”

“Drop it. Both of you.” Both Winchesters held their guns up and placed them on the ground in front of them. “Kick them away.” The man waved his gun towards the stairs for the guns. “You remember me?”

Dean and Sam both shared a look with each other. “Have we ever met?” Dean asked, his hands in the air as to not set the man off.

I could feel the man stiffen behind me, anger radiating from his body. “You killed my baby sister. Didn’t even try to save her! She was just a kid! And you did nothing!” His voice was rising in anger and the gun shook a bit in his hands.

Sam stepped a bit closer, his hands still held high and his eyes glued to mine. “I’m so sorry we didn’t save your little sister. I know the pain of losing your sibling, and it’s not something that feels good. Please, don’t hurt her. She wasn’t even around when that happened. You let her go, and keep me, ok? She needs a doctor, or she’s going to die, and then you will.”

“We don’t wanna hurt you.” Dean helped. “Let her go.”

The man hesitated before dropping the gun and pulling the knife away from my skin and stepping back. Sam rushed over, his hands holding the sides of my face. “You’re gonna be ok. We’re gonna get you out of here.” Dean had began trying to untie my wrists while Sam kept my eyes open, talking to me. “Keep you eyes open, honey. Come on, look at me.”

Just as I felt the rope loosen, Dean dropped like a ton of bricks. “Dean?” I mumbled, gaining Sam’s attention. Sam stepped around me and I turned my head just enough to see what was going on. Sam and the man were fighting, the gun tucked into the man’s pants. “Dean, you need to get up.” I muttered, nudging his shoulder with my bloody shoe. Dean finally got up and began to help untie me again, just as a loud gunshot went off and both Sam and the man dropped to the floor, neither moving. “SAM!” My voice was high pitched and shrill as I screamed, my hands pulling at the rope yet again and it felt like all the air in my lungs was ripped out. “Sam! Get up!” Dean stepped away from me and rushed over to his brother, pushing him onto his back.

“I’m good.” I could hear Sam talking. “Blood’s not mine.” Sam got to his feet, quickly coming to my side and wrapped an arm around my hips and heaving me up to take the weight off my wrists. His other hand went up to fully untie me, letting my arms collapse around his shoulders. “I got you, you’re gonna be just fine.” He gently lifted me up into his arms and carried me out of the house. “You gotta keep your eyes open. Keep looking at me.” Dean rushed out of the house and got into the driver’s seat, while Sam sat us in the back. “Come on, honey, keep those eyes open. Dean we gotta get her to Cas, now.”

“I’m going as fast as I can.”

My vision became blurry and I tried my hardest to focus on Sam, keep my eyes open. The black was too inviting though, I couldn’t feel all the pain when the black was filling my vision. And before I knew it, I was out, just like before.

___

Soft blankets were tucked around me when I woke up. I blinked a few times to get the tiredness out then I sat up. It took a moment, but I was finally able to realize that I was back in the bunker, in the room I shared with Sam. “Sam?” I called softly, hoping I wasn’t dreaming and still hanging in the basement of the house.

My door opened quickly, Sam stepping in. “Thank god.” He mumbled as he rushed over to me, engulfing my body in a large hug. “I was so worried about you. I’m so sorry about everything.”

I wrapped my arms tightly around him, tucking my head into his neck and breathing in his scent that instantly made me calm, running my fingers through his long hair. “I thought you’d never find me.” He hugged onto me tighter, a few drops of his tears falling onto my skin. “I love you, so much. Thank you, Sammy.”

“I am never going to let that happen to you, ever again. I promise you that. I felt like I couldn’t breathe when you were gone.” He pulled back and looked into my eyes. “I love you so much.”

A soft knock sounded on my door, Dean and Cas both poking their heads in. I gave them both a soft smile and waved them in. Sam scooted to sit behind me, his legs on either side of my body and his back against the headboard. “Glad to see you awake.” Dean commented, sitting on the bed with Cas on the other side.

“Thank you for coming to get me, Dean.” I leaned back against Sam’s chest, his arm wrapping around my middle and a kiss being pressed to my head. “And you Cas, thank you for healing me.”

“I am just glad you are home, safe.” Cas smiled at me, his eyes growing soft at how Sam and I were sat together.

“I can tell you one thing.” Sam spoke. “You’re never going on a food run by yourself again. Never.” I cracked a smile and both boys in front of me laughed a bit, telling me what we would all be ok, that they would always keep an eye on me.

@thetallassgirl

#sam winchester imagine #sam winchester #sam winchester x reader #supernatural #supernatural imagine

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whats-wild-to-you · 2 years

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Dark Horse (100 Days sequel)

[intervention]

[Jay’s POV]

“I can’t believe you two were reckless enough to do this! That was stupid. And dangerous!”

I looked from Soo-jin to Byung-ho and back, trying to keep my composure. I came home just when hyung’s car parked next to mine. When both of them avoided my questions as to where they were, I knew it meant trouble.

“It was my idea!” Soo-jin blurted out, but Byung-ho immediately waived his hands in the air. “No! It was me who suggested that Soo-jin go and talk to your stepmother!”

I sighed, massaging the back of my neck. “Anyway, why did you go there?”

Soo-jin looked over to Byung-ho, subtly shaking her head. “Someone better tell me right now!”

“We wanted t-” Hyung began but Soo-jin cut him off.

“I asked Mr. Park about Ari. He told me what he knew but there were some blank spaces, so I wanted to speak to your stepmother, see if I could find out more. Mr. Park only came with me as reinforcement.”

“Jesus! Soo-jin, why?”

“I had to get some answers.”

“And? Did you?” I looked at her expectantly, but she turned her head toward Byung-ho instead. He fished around in his coat pocket, then produced an usb stick.

With anticipation I waited for hyung to connect it to a laptop and open the file. Suddenly my stepmothers voice filled the room.

“It’s very unlikely you’ll know her. She’s Jay’s oldest friend. Here name is Ari Cho.”

“I actually met Ari, well, once! Jay introduced her to me.”

“Really?”

“He mentioned they were friends.”

“They’re not just friends, dear. They’re lifelong companions. They share a lot of history!”

“I wasn’t aware.”

“Of course you weren’t. Jay always supported her, they fell in love, but his father eventually was against her becoming part of the family!”

“Why? She sounds like a lovely girl!”

“She is! Unfortunately, her family encountered some hardships in the past they’re still recovering from!”

“I’m sorry to hear!”

“Of course, I support her in any way that I can, since she’s the sole breadwinner in her family!”

“That’s very nice of you! I’m afraid I have to leave already.”

“She’s genuinely in love with Jay, you know! Jay knows too but chooses to ignore her feelings. They grew up together, you can’t compete with her.”

“I’m not trying to compete with her!”

“She may be flawed but she’s the only woman who stood by Jay’s side through it all!”

“Shit!” I exclaimed, avoiding Soo-jin’s stare and focusing on Byung-ho instead.

“Mr. Park told me your stepmother initially wasn’t a huge fan of Ari, but along the way something happened and now they’re besties. Do you know what that was?”

I looked at Soo-jin. She appeared calm, but I knew now that she was good in masking her feelings. There was no telling how she really felt about all of this.

“I only thought of going to Ari and try to talk to her after I left your stepmother’s house and by then I thought Mrs. Choi might have notified Ari straight away.”

“Soo-jin...”

“What? I want to hear her side of the story too!”

“Soo-jin, please don’t ever consider talking to her!”

“Why? What are you so afraid of?”

“I don’t think it’s about Jay being afr-” Byung-ho tried to intervene, but I silently signaled him that I was okay answering Soo-jin’s question.

“She’s manipulative! She’s twisting the truth and depicts herself as the victim!”

“Some friend you got there!”

“You know I cut her off from my life!”

“I’m tired. It’s been a long day!” Without another word she walked off towards the bedroom.

“Jay, she really didn’t mean to snoop. We’re all on edge here, it’s understandable she wanted to be thorough.” Byung-ho tried to defend her and for once I was glad he took her side.

“Still. Going to my stepmother was a really bad idea! You of all people should know!”

“I’m sorry! I’ll deal with the aftermath, don’t worry.”

[Soo-jin’s POV]

As soon as I heard footsteps, I turned to the other side, pretending to be asleep.

“I haven’t talked to Ari since the day she admitted to setting you up.”

When I didn’t respond, I heard him sigh again and sit down on the bed.

“I know you’re not asleep!”

“What gave it away?” I inquired meekly.

“Your breathing. You were huffing.”

I turned around, eyeing him carefully before I spoke again.

“I’m not mad at you. I just want some answers!”

“You’re not going to get them from Ari!”

“Then you answer them!”

“I can’t!”

“Why not?”

“It’s not that simple!”

“She’s still hung up on you. I didn’t have to hear it from your stepmother to know this! At least tell me what happened between you two when you were studying abroad together.”

“Nothing.”

“Liar!”

“We hooked up a couple of times, okay? It meant nothing to me, I was just lonely, and she was there, and I thought she wouldn’t misinterpret it.”

“But she did, because she wanted to. Because she had heard all her life that you two apparently would end up together!”

“I never agreed to dating her, let alone marrying her. If my father had plans, they were his and his alone!”

“Why did your father change his mind about her?”

“I don’t know. I never cared enough to ask.”

“Do you know how her and your stepmother suddenly became such good friends?”

“No idea.”

“Could you find out?”

“Why? I don’t care about her reasons.”

“But I do!”

I wasn’t surprised to find Jay and Mr. Kim deep in conversation the next morning. Since I was still half asleep I ignored them and trudged to the kitchen for some coffee.

When I came back out, Jay reached out his hand to me and I grabbed it instinctively, allowing him to pull me down onto his lap.

“I’ll do it! I’ll go talk to Ari.” He whispered into my ear.

If the caffeine wasn’t able to wake me up, Jay’s statement definitely did the trick. Instead of saying something, I just looked at him, silently asking him if he was going to be okay.

“I’ll be fine, don’t worry!”

I sighed and rested my head on his shoulder, carefully sipping on my coffee.

“I better go now. I’ll come later with the equipment.” I heard Mr. Kim say and hummed in agreement although I had no idea what he was talking about.

“What’s happening later?” I said after the caffeine had finally kicked in.

“I’ll be meeting with Ari. Hyung is going to wire me too so we can record the conversation.”

I placed my coffee cup on the table, slowly combing through his hair with my fingers. Suddenly I didn’t like the idea of Jay being alone with her.

“Hey! You have nothing to worry about!”

“You said it yourself. She’s manipulative. What if she gets to you?” I concluded, my voice slowly fading.

“That won’t happen!”

[Jay’s POV]

The nerves kicked in when I stood with Byung-ho in front of Ari’s apartment building, contemplating whether I should really go ahead or just forget about this whole thing.

“What’s the worst that could happen?” He broke the silence, seemingly able to hear my thoughts. “She throws herself at you! Wouldn’t be the first time.”

“Let’s get this over with!” I said, turning to Byung-ho so he could secure the wire. “The sooner we go in, the sooner we’ll be able to leave!”

Ari was surprised when I contacted her, asking her to meet. And she was even more surprised when I didn’t suggest a public place.

“Does your girlfriend know you’re here?” She snickered, bringing the coffee cup to her lips while maintaining eye contact with me.

I knew her tricks and was anticipating this behavior. Instead of trying to squeeze something out of her I decided to ask her straight away.

“It was her idea. She went to Mrs. Choi but wasn’t satisfied with the outcome.”

“So she thinks it’s me? The person who’s threatening you?”

I remained silent and sipped on my coffee instead.

“Do you agree with her?”

“I’m not sure!”

‘Are you trying to piss her off?’ I heard hyung babbling in my earpiece and cleared my throat.

“We both know you’d have more than enough reasons!”

“Did you forget about the past?” She cooed, inching closer to me. “I buried your scandals so they wouldn’t destroy your reputation!”

“Yes, you did that! But I’m sure you had an ulterior motive. You must’ve thought if you did that long enough, I’d eventually fall for you.”

“I know you better than that! I only helped you and stood by your side because I felt indebted to your family!”

“Felt? Past tense?”

“You have your girlfriend now! You don’t need me anymore.”

“You were never someone to just concede. You were always aggressive, especially when you tried to get rid of my exes.”

“They weren’t good for you! Paint me as the villain as much as you want. Deep down you know I always had your back! If you’re here interrogating me, because you can’t tell your girlfriend how much I mean to you then that’s your problem. But don’t waste my time.”

‘Whoa! Okay, you officially pissed her off.’

“I haven’t forgotten what you’ve done for me. And I’m not accusing you of anything. I just want some answers!’

“I don’t know who’s behind these anonymous attacks, but trust me, if I knew, I’d personally make them stop!”

The first few weeks in the U.S. were fun. It felt like I was on vacation. Then reality kicked in. Father basically shipped me off, not even caring about whether I would be fine or not. And on top of that there was Ari. I liked her when we were 7 years old and played on the playground together. But as time passed, she became more and more aggressive and possessive. She would stick to me like velcro. It was fine when I didn’t want to attend father’s parties as a teenager or if I wanted to get rid of girls that were stalking me, but other than that Ari was useless to me.

That was until I was thousands of miles away from home. Suddenly I craved Ari’s company. At first, she acted nonchalant about it, but soon we would hang out together 24/7.

We would often sleep over at each other’s dorm, in the same bed. She made me forget about my homesickness, and I in return protected her from douchebags who tried to hit on her.

Everything was fine, until one night, she knocked on my door. Her hair was disheveled, and her outfit torn. When I asked her what had happened to her, she kept quiet, but in the middle of the night I woke up and found her sobbing.

Weeks had passed by before she told me about that night. Apparently she was on a date, and the guy rushed her even though she insisted she wasn’t ready.

I asked for his name, determined to find him and rip his head off, but Ari told me he wasn’t worth the trouble, I should just forget about it.

That night was the first night we hooked up. I didn’t realize it was happening until Ari started to undress in front of me, begging me not to push her away. She claimed she only wanted to replace that awful memory with a good one and more or less forced me into sleeping with her.

After that night, things got awkward between us. I was avoiding her, and she started to keep tabs on my every move. Where I went, who I dated, who I slept with.

Still, I kept her around, even after we returned home. I think I pitied her more than anything, since she had a rough childhood. But to call her a friend would be an exaggeration. It was true, she had my back, cared about me, made sure I didn’t surround myself with vultures. Did it mean that I harboured the same feelings for her? Absolutely not! And she was well aware of that.

“What happened between you and my stepmother that you suddenly became besties?”

“I think you know.”

***

[Lim Ji-yeon]

#Jay Park #more soju please #MORE VISION #khh imagines #park jaebum #park jaebeom #park jaybum #jay park scenarios #Jay Park fanfic #jay park imagines #AOMG #jay park AOMG #aomg jay park #aomg scenarios #aomg imagines #aomgofficial #h1ghrmusic #h1ghrgang

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char-lotta · 3 years

Text

Never alone

Pairing: Jake x MC

Words: 4,1 k

Summary: Someone couldn’t handle herself while texting Jake and there is no turning back.

Warnings: If sex scenes aren’t your thing, this fic isn’t for you. 🔥

My native language isn't english, so forgive me the possible grammar errors.

Never alone

Jake: Can you focus on what we are doing, please?

You read the message and something large clogged your throat. Is it possible that he knew what you were doing?

MC: I am focused. I just got distracted for a second, sorry about that.

Jake: Good. So, are you on board for this? It isn’t too hard task for you?

Oh yes, it is, and you know it. How can I possible focus on anything while discussing with you? It was so strange feeling, since you had never seen his face, but you imagined him as tall, with dark hair and well-built. You had dreamt about him for weeks now, even while you were awake. It has almost become an obsession to you, and you checked your phone probably a hundred times a day, just to see those sweet three words… Jake is online.

MC: So, what is exactly you want me to do?

You saw the pencil mark as a sign that he was writing and apparently deleting the written message few times. There was this tingling feeling in your toes and you felt slightly nauseous. You were longing for a message, where he would tell you to take off your shirt and give you a new instruction. You knew that he could told you to do anything, and you would oblige easily without a doubt. Your nipples went hard even for that thought and you had this longing sensation, like an ache, between your legs, demanding and pulsating. The top you were wearing was a long gone and you laid on your back on the sofa and the only light in the room was the light coming from your phone. Your hands wandered through your body with light brushes, occasionally rubbing your breasts, and you closed your eyes. You imaged that those hands weren’t yours, but Jake’s. You drew circles with your fingers at the surface of your skin, ending up on the waist band of your panties. Slowly, you touched yourself in a trembling hand, and small moan escaped through your lips, waking you up from this daydream and the imaginary picture of Jake in your mind vanished. Frustrated, you took your hand away and put the shirt back on. But he would never do that, and you just knew it. You had confessed that you liked him, and he said that he liked you too. The warming feel with those words was overwhelming and you had returned them many times, just to remind yourself that he had feelings for you too. But I like you too, is such a vague impression after all and could be just a compliment too. How could this ever work since you didn’t even know where he was?

Jake: I don’t want you to do anything what compromises your safety. You know that, right?

Jake: So, forget all your plans going there loudly with cavalry. Since all you have, is me, and I hardly am “the cavalry”.

But you are all I need and all I want, you wanted to respond. But something held you back, and you were afraid that Jake would go offline. You tucked a lost strand of hair back to behind your ear and sighted. Why, why on earth this was so fucking hard. And for god’s sake, you two were just texting and you couldn’t contain yourself. You imagined meeting Jake in person, but how embarrassed you would feel, since you could not even say those things via text, how could you ever say them aloud?

MC: I do know that. I will be discreet, no one will see me.

Jake: Be careful. We will talk again after your mission.

You had feeling that your discussion was coming to an end and the tears started blurring your sight. You just wanted to be close to him, even though it was in opposite ends of two screens between you two. You had been in this situation many times before, and each time it felt harder. It was so utterly crushing to lose contact now and you typed so quickly that you didn’t have time to even think about what you should say to him. Knowing that you were alone the next few weeks.

MC: Don’t go. Just don’t leave me now. I miss you so much. I love you. Don’t go.

When you saw your own words flashing through the screen and realized that you had lost your self-discipline, those tears that you had tried to not let loose, came like spring water, draining your cheeks. You didn’t want to look what Jake replied (or did he even reply?) and you felt so powerless and weak, and those feelings had been inside you for a very long time suppressed. You threw your phone back at the sofa and paced around your living room, cursing under your breath. You fucking idiot, why would you say that? He doesn’t love you back, you stupid girl. If he would, he would have come and get you already.

You heard that you got messages, multiple messages, but you didn’t want to see them. Jake was probably telling her now that they two together were too dangerous and he was wanted by the government… But you didn’t care. If he just would have asked, you would give up your life as you know it without a hesitation. You could move and go no-contact with your friends and family, you would give up your job, that you loved. Because you loved him more.

You loved him.

And this was the thought last on your mind when you cried yourself to sleep.

****

You had no idea what time it was, but it was night since it was so dark that you couldn’t see anything. The silence was overwhelming and pressuring, and you laid without moving on your bed covers, and suddenly you just knew, that you were not alone. The only noise in you could hear was your own breathing and you stopped it for a second; but you couldn’t hear anything. You opened your eyes carefully and looked your apartment. Since you lived in a studio, you could see the whole room from your bed. Your heart was pounding so loud and fast that you were afraid it would escape through your ribcage any second now.

You looked thoroughly the room and you couldn’t see anyone or anything moving. Slowly you pulled out from your bed and turned the light on. There was no one in the room. You searched your apartment cautiously, but there was nothing out of the ordinary to be seen. Just when you were going back to bed, you noticed that the window in the separate kitchen was open. Had you forgot to close it? You looked from your window to the yard, but there was nothing. You shut the window second time that night and stared at the darkness, but still, there was nothing to be seen. Remembering last nights text messages made you frown, but you would deal it in the morning. You yawned and turned around.

Just when you thought you couldn’t handle your heart anymore, it stopped and felt ice-cold. There was this dark figure in the corner, just a few footsteps from you. You saw the dark figure was a man with a hood and it was covering his face, so you couldn’t see who he was. But you didn’t need the to see anything more, because you knew who was standing in your home instantly. It just wasn’t possible...

“Jake?” you whispered in utter disbelief. This must be a dream. You pinched yourself from your thigh so forcefully, that it hurt like a hell.

The hooded figure seemed to be alarmed and hesitant, but he didn’t move or say anything.

“Jake? Is it really you?” you asked softly, and the man slowly nodded. The movement of his head was so small, that you weren’t sure if you were seeing correctly. You had no idea what to say anymore, this situation had surprised you fully. You had had these dreams, but now when he was really here, you were so lost on what to do.

“Has something happened?” you asked, voice trembling. Your knees felt that they were going to betray you any moment now. Suddenly the man made a noise, and it took a while when you understood, that he was actually laughing. The laugh didn’t sound joyful, it was more a bitter tone.

“Apparently I have gone mad”, he said in a raspy voice. “I swore that I would protect you and here I am, putting you a more danger that you ever have been.”

You shifted the weight of you to another foot, trying to understand what Jake had just said.

“What do you mean by that? How am I in danger?”

“What else this could be? I am wanted by all kind of people and none of them are on the good side” Jake spat angrily, and you felt his eyes piercing you, even though you couldn’t see his eyes. You suddenly came very, very aware that you didn’t have any trousers on, just the panties. Your hands moved to cover yourself but at the same time, you had dreaded this moment since you ever had chatted with him in the first place. But why was he so angry?

“Could I see your face?” you asked, and you didn’t recognize your voice anymore. Since when you had sounded like that? Maybe your wildest dreams were happening, and you couldn’t believe it.

“No.” His voice was harsh and cold. You felt instant disappointment roaming thorough your body, crushing your hopes.

“But why? You can see mine.”

“Let’s not make this any more complicated than it is”, he frowned and took a step back, adding more shadows in his figure.

“Why are you here then?” The now unrecognizable voice was mad. You felt anger rising somewhere inside of you, making room for itself pushing all the hopeful thoughts aside. “Why the fuck are you in my home in the middle of the night if I can’t even see you?”

Overwhelmed, you turned around and felt so frustrated. Jake was in your home; you finally had met him, and he forbid you to even look at him. This was nothing like you had imagined, there was nothing romantic in this situation.

“I needed to see you”, you heard him answer and waited more. His voice was not so harsh anymore, but maybe… desperate? You peeked him with corner of your eye. He hadn’t move from his spot.

“Why would you say those things? Why didn’t you answer my messages anymore?” he asked and now he’s voice was definitely trembling. You thought that he was longing something and didn’t know if you could give it to him. You turned back to him and took a step closer to him. You slowly reached your hand towards him, but he didn’t budge. For a second you remembered your semi-nakedness but who the fuck cares. This was more important than a missing pair of jeans.

“Jake”, you said lightly and even saying his name aloud gave you a light blush. Get yourself together, you command yourself. “Are you that daft?” you burst, and this was clearly not the answer Jake had expected since you heard offended huff from the darkness.

“I was so embarrassed with my own words, who betrayed me coming out like that, because I had agreed with myself that I would not vocalize my feelings towards you. But I do love you which is absolutely crazy and how on earth I could love something I haven’t never seen or heard before? That would freak out anyone, let alone you, who is forced to work with me to find his sister” you ranted, now looking on anything else except him.

“I don’t expect you to love me back, and I am so sorry for distracting our search towards Hannah. I won’t do it again, I promise. We can never talk about this incident again.” You feel those stupid tears again and flickered your eyes. Oh no, don’t cry NOW!

Everyone who has ever heard silence, know how disturbing it can be. The silence what landed between you and Jake was so thick and full of fear and anxiousness and you waited -, no, - you feared his response. It felt like a small eternity when he finally responded.

“MC…” he said, and that was all he said. Nothing else. You waited but there was nothing more. Feeling so defeated and humiliated, you just wanted to get away from him and started walking out of the kitchen.

But he finally grabbed your hand and pulled you in to the shadows with him. Your confused brain could only register his musky smell and his other hand on your lower back when he pulled you closer. His lips carefully brushed yours and your head felt like exploding. Adrenaline flushed through your veins so fast that it made you feel dizzy, and you grasped his hoodie to stay balanced. You leaned towards him and felt his breath on your face, and you opened your lips, welcoming his.

You had never been kissed like that and it had never felt so good. His lips were demanding, and his grip tightened on your hand; your hands were in his hair, trying to get him closer. You both gasped air between the kisses and his hand moved from your back to your bottom, and you tangled your leg behind his. He let go of your hand and lifted you to his lap and turned you two around landing you on the counter top and you could hear cutlery dropping on the floor. Your brains screamed with joy and happiness, wishing this moment could continue forever. There was only you and Jake in this world, and nothing couldn’t stop you two, you wouldn’t care if the Man Without a Face would have entered the room.

He moved his lips from your mouth to your neck and every kiss he made, left you with a burning sensation and you could not do anything else than moan. You could feel his lips changing from gently kisses to more intense and rougher around your neck and he nibbled behind your earlobe quite forcefully.

“Jake…” you moaned again with pleasure and sent your hands exploring his body, you just wanted to have all of him.

“This is incredibly stupid” you heard him say somewhere lower and you can’t help but giggle a bit. “Why does it feel so good then?” you asked, and he answered by cupping your breast and squeezing it gently and sucked your earlobe at the same time. You could see that the darkness had lifted since moon was shining from the window, lighting the room. He had a dark hair, as you had imagined, and it seemed that other of your predictions had done well too. Jake let go of your ear and looked at you and you could see his blue eyes were full of lust and something else… He stroked your cheek with his thumb, and you pulled him closer between your legs with your feet.

“You are so fucking beautiful, MC”, he said in a raspy voice, still looking at you. “But I did actually know that already. I just needed to see you with my own eyes”. I presumed that he meant that he had seen my social media profiles, and probably something else, that I wasn’t aware of, since he was a hacker.

“I presume that I am not alone with my feelings?” you asked and did not know, what made you so courageous. You two looked each other and time had stopped. Still caressing your cheek, Jake sighed.

“I am not good with expressing emotions. And still, this is incredibly stupid.”

Now was your turn feel offended. How could this burning feeling inside of you be stupid? And why couldn’t he just admit that they were more than pen pals from mystery series of Duskwood? Maybe he didn’t care you as much as you liked to think.

“Yeah, maybe you are right”, you said in a hurt tone and lowered your gaze. “If I am the only one here with feelings, this is going to be a torture for me if we continue.” You let your hands rest on your lap.

“Who’s the daft now?” Jake asked amused and lifted up your chin, forcing you to look at him. “I didn’t come all the way here to tell you I didn’t love you.”

“What are you telling me then?” You didn’t dare to hope for any answer. Jake kissed you again, but you broke the kiss soon (even though it was incredibly hard) and looked him desperate.

“Jake… Please”, you whispered.

He looked you and looked defeated.

“If I say it, there’s no turning back. I feel like I’m trapping you with me, and trust me, it isn’t comfortable place to be in life at this moment.”

“I want to be trapped with you with every cell of my body” you assured him quickly. And you meant every word you said, because this, right here, was where you wanted to be. With Jake.

“I…” he started, and you stopped breathing. You had longed for this moment ages and could not believe that this was happening. Your whole body waited for he to continue his sentence.

“I never want to be separated from you” he whispered. “You are amazing and beautiful, and still so frustrating and stubborn. I came here to tell you that we are better off just friends for both of our protection, but now I am with you and you are just… you! You just look at me and I forget everything I was supposed to say and all I want to do is pull you closer and never let go.”

You exhaled and noticed that he was shaking, and you were surprised to see that you were too. “Well then don’t let go”, you whispered back.

He grabbed your waist and shift you closer to him and kissed you passionately, your tongue met his. He nibbled your lower lip, and his hands were wandering again through your body. You wanted to be touched everywhere by him and leaned little bit back so there was room for his hands. He took eagerly your given chance and moved his hands under your shirt. You felt dizzy again and didn’t even notice that you were moaning again when his lips found a way to your cleavage. He looked up as a gesture making sure that this was okay to you.

“Don't you dare to stop”, you gasped.

He didn’t need more confirmation and pulled your shirt up, revealing your upper body. He took a moment to look at you properly and you felt something getting harder inside of his trousers. Your thoughts moved to the forward where he would finally enter you and the pulsating, aching feeling was back. Jake took your nipple between his lips and sucked it gently and for a moment you were so sure, that you would pass out for the pleasure. He caressed you with his hands and mouth, moving the hands slowly to the waistband of your panties. You tried to take of his shirt, but he gently pushed your hands off back to the counter top as he focused on you; you had no choice than enjoy the ride.

His fingers felt warm when he finally touched you under the panties. You knew that you were soaking wet, but when he started rubbing your clit, you could see the star constellations. Your moans weren’t subtle anymore, and with each noise you made, he seemed to get more fuel on his actions. Jake pulled your panties off easily, revealing you completely. He took he’s moment again to admire you and before you knew, he was continuing rubbing your clit with his thumb and the other hands fingers were inside you, fastening the pace with every moan you let slip. You could feel his tongue on your nipple again and you grabbed his hair. All you felt was pleasure, you had never felt so good in your life; all your emotions from last month while texting Jake and developing one-sided feelings towards him came to final conclusion – you weren’t alone in this after all, and this made you so utterly happy. Your vision started to blur, and you lost your sense of everything else except the overwhelming feeling of relieve when you orgasmed. When you finally came back to your senses, you felt Jake gently lightening his pressure on you and you breathed heavily, trying to get some air. Your smile was contagious, and Jake grinned while watching you.

“What?”

“Like I said”, he murmured, “you are amazing.”

You pulled him for a kiss which deepened shortly. At the same time, your hands found his belt and you started undressing him with his help. When you got rid of his shirt, you saw scars on his torso, and you looked them in confusion.

“Another time, okay?” Jake asked and you nodded and same time you felt butterflies in the bottom of your stomach. Another time…

He opened his belt and lowered his trousers revealing black underwear with a promising bulge in the groin, and you could not wait to get rid of these barriers anymore, Jake was laughing for your enthusiasm and this time, the laugh sounded like it should be; light, happy and a bit teasing.

“I cannot wait you to be inside of me” you confessed, and he did as you told. You could feel him in your entrance, dipping in just the tip. Your whole body was ready, and your mind was yelling you all kind of naughty words and Jake looked you just like he could hear them. He kissed you playfully and you just couldn’t take it anymore.

“Jake”, you moaned, “you are driving me crazy.”

“Now you know how I feel”, he said and took a good grip from your hair, pulling your head back and forced his lips on yours. You felt him entering inside of you and you moaned so hard, that it was a more of a shout than a moan. The thrusts went harder as he listened you carefully first, and all you could do was to say “yes”.

The sex wasn’t like you had imagined, but it was better. It wasn’t gentle and loving, it was rough and needy, and you felt both of you were pouring out all of those long-suppressed feelings and dreams of you two, the desperation with the dangers and the times you two tried to forget each other’s as it was just mad to fell in love with stranger. But here you two were, having sex in your kitchen, against all the odds.

You grabbed the cupboards above you trying to hold your position as Jake pounded in you and you kept drifting in the back of the counter top. Jake suddenly pulled you down from the surface, turned and bent you over, and entered you again, going in deeper with every thrust. You could hear his breathing tightening up and getting faster, as well yours. He grabbed your hair again, which you didn’t know that you liked before, but oh boy, how it made things better. You felt the orgasm coming again and you couldn’t help but scream and arch your back with incoming wave of pleasure. You didn’t hear yourself, but you were screaming Jake’s name, and that was the final straw for him, as he came inside of you.

****

You sat on Jake's lap and laid your head to his chest, as your fingers draw circles on his chest. He kissed you on your forehead and played with your hair.

“Jake?” you asked. “What happens now?”

He looked you in deep with his thoughts and you were wondering, would you even want to hear answer to your question.

“Well. This definitely complicates things”, he said finally.

“You can’t go offline now”, you teased him, trying to lighten the mood. “Can we solve this together?”

“So, we’re together now?” he asked with one of his eyebrows up and you bump your fist in his chest lightly. “That is not how to respond to a lady who has just had sex with you”.

“That is correct”, he frowned. “I’m sorry.”

“Do you have any objections at the topic of us being together?” you asked, and he could hear the worry in your voice.

“Well, I said it before. There’s no turning back now”, Jake gazed you intensely, caressing your cheekbones, “You’re stuck with me now.”

Knowing how hard it was to him say these things aloud, you took this as a victory and snuggled to get better position on his lap. He did love you as much you love him, and both of you know that.

“Just where I want to be. With you. No matter what.”

#duskwood #everbyte studios #duskwood jake #jake x mc #duskwood jake x mc #duskwood fanfiction #duskwood smut #duskwood jake x player #jake x player

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spookysmujer · 3 years

Text

Piensa En Mi, O. Diaz

Summary: The relationship with you and Oscars suddenly ends after he gets locked up. Now it’s 4 years later..

warnings: HELLA angst, heartbreak

word count: 1.9K

a/n: I had an itch to write today, thank you for requesting babes! Sorry it took this long to get done. I hope everyone is doing okay these days. PSA: Stop the hate against Asians! Speak up for our brothers and sisters, please. I love you all! Please consider: following, heart/comment/reblog my content! Thank you <)

Requested by @boujee-bitches!

(gif belongs to @merakiaes)

You can remember the day you realized just how much you were in love with Oscar Diaz. It was a few months into dating, he had been in and out of town on Santo business, and yet still was able to check in with you. He even sent you doordash multiple times. And in that one moment, as the doordash driver stood at your door, carrying a bag of your favorite pastrami sub, you truly felt your heart bleed for Oscar. The feelings entirely mutual with him. You can remember that exact moment you felt it, just as you remember the moment your heart had been ripped away.

The consequence of having such a pristine memory is the ability to remember not only the good days but the hurtful ones as well. Now, after years of being with Oscar, he’s gone. Things had been going so well with the Santos and moving up in the ranks for him. Then in a matter of seconds, all that changed. The moment those handcuffs linked his wrists together behind his back as he was whisked away in the back of the patrol car was the day everything changed.

Change.

They always say that change is a good thing. But whoever they are, they were wrong. Change is malicious, it’s life-consuming and does nothing but harm. In the beginning you were confident everything would be okay. Nothing could break this man, he has been through the highest highs and the lowest lows. He has endured things as a young child that no child should. Even when the judge has sentenced him to 8 years, the look he gave you said: It’ll be okay, mamas.

For the first few months, things were good. The money he would send to you, you’d put on his books regardless of his wishes for you not to do so. The phone calls that didn’t last nearly as long as you wanted it to. And the letters, even if you talked on the phone and visited him often, Oscar still wrote you letters, and he always drew something for you.

But it began to get difficult. When school started up in the fall, your full-time job and now taking care of his younger brother, you started to miss calls, needed to reschedule visits. And when you would answer, Oscar would give you the cold shoulder. He realized that you were beating yourself up for trying to juggle everything. He hated himself for making you so stressed just to make it to him. So on a surprise call that you weren’t expecting, he broke it to you that dating while he is incarcerated is foolish of you. It’s a waste of your time. Please take care of yourself and Cesar, we’ll see where we are when I’m out. But for now, it’ll be just me.

That day replays in your mind. No more calls, rejected visits, ghost letters. It felt like he died, though you would have been notified of it if that was the case. But that was 4 years ago, everything had changed and according to Cesar, it’s about to change again.

“I’m sorry, what did you say?” You ask, after holding your breath. Spooky gets out tomorrow.

Cesar shovels the rest of his cereal in his mouth and gulps down the remaining milk, rushing around the kitchen and gathering his school things, “Oscar. He gets out tomorrow. His sentence reduced to half the time, remember the hearing they had last week?”

Whenever Cesar would talk about his older brother, you would tune it out. Oscar breaking up with you over the phone without a thorough reason, then dropping you as a person all together really broke you beyond repair. But you had no choice but dust off your shoulders and keep going.

You hum and nod, packing your lunch.Without saying anything else, you head back to your room to get your things ready for work. As you pass by the room that Cesar had taken residency in, you notice the packed bags. “Cesar!”

But by the time you make it back to the kitchen, he has already left out the door. Was he about to leave? Did he want out now that Oscar will be out? Though the idea was to care for Cesar while his brother was locked up, to know he is already ready to up and leave, hurts you. But you shake it off, Oscar is coming home, shit.

Your day goes by painstakingly slow. All you could think about is how it would go when you’d see him again, how will you feel? What about him, what will he feel?

“Y/N, did you hear me?” Cesars voice sounds from across the table, the two of you enjoying some take-out. The day has gone from slower than a sloth to as quick as sonic the hedgehog.

He stares at you, waiting for you to respond. “Now that Oscar is getting out, it’s time for you to head on back home. Yeah, I heard you. Just sucks is all, I feel like my daily routine will be all messed up.” You joke to which he grins at.

The next day comes by in a blink of an eye. Here you are leaning against your car that is parked in front of Oscars house. You can’t bring yourself to walk up those stairs and face him. But he hasn’t exited the house yet, you wonder if he even will. After Cesar gets the last bag is when you hear the front door. He makes his way towards you, your breath getting stuck in your airways.

Cesar hugs you and thanks you again, you squeeze him and ask that he doesn’t be a stranger. Then there stood, you and Oscar. He stares at you for a long moment, studying you. It’s been nearly 4 years since he’s seen you. You are the same with little differences here and there, “You finally pierced your nose.” He points out.

You purse your lips and nod, scoffing and looking him in the eyes, “Almost 1,300 days of not talking to me and seeing me…. And my nose ring is the first thing you say to me?”

It wasn’t the plan to argue, you wanted to ask him to be kind to Cesar and take care of him then be on your merry way. But being in his physical presence now, it’s made your blood boil. How could he stand there like nothing had happened between you? The history you two have was an epic love and heartbreak but by the look on his face, it’s as if you are a stranger in passing.

He licks his bottom lip and digs his hands into his shorts pockets, “What you want me to say? I said all I needed to that day on the phone.”

Your arms uncross from over your chest and your mouth falls slightly open. But before you can let out the rage that’s been building up continuously over the years, “I miss you, querida.” He watches your face contort to confusion then back to anger. He nearly smiles to see that you are still the hot head you’ve always been.

The words weren’t coming out as you wanted them to. All you could do was stomp past him to leave but he grabs your upper arm to stop you. You look down to where his hand wraps around your arm then up to his eyes, the look you give him is loud enough for him to let go.

“Can you just listen to me? You think I wanted to break things off? That it didn’t hurt me just as much as it hurt you?” Oscar begins, standing directly in front of you and slightly craning his head down. “I fucking hated that I did that to you, mami. The last thing I want in this world is not being with you, to cause you pain and to have done that when I was locked up? I hated it. Every single day. But I needed to do it because all I was doing was holding you back. I couldn’t bare knowing that I was making your life hard.”

An eruption of laughter sounds from you, you hold your stomach and one hand clamped over your mouth, hunching over from how hilarious you find his last sentence. Though anyone else hearing it wouldn’t really laugh, seeing as it wasn’t a funny statement. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh. But do you hear yourself? You thought breaking up would be better. I don’t know if there was ever a time during our relationship prior that I made you feel I couldn’t handle something like you being locked up, I am terribly sorry if I had but I thought I proved to you that I was more than in love with you, I was hopelessly devoted to you, I was willing to endure it all, every call or visit. I was ready to work hard to make sure you could make tienda… but what did I do or what did I say to make you think otherwise?”

Oscar feels the chains on his heart tighten with every word you say. He doesn’t know what hurts him more, the break-up or now knowing how worthless it made you feel. He knows you are an understanding person, but his intentions didn’t settle as he hoped it would.

It takes all his might to resist pulling you into a hug, With how you reacted to his touch just moments ago, he knows a hug would only result in profanities being spewed out. As if a hug could magically glue the pieces back together and fix it all. “You didn’t do shit wrong, Y/N. You were the epitome of a down ass girl. But all I could see was the tiredness in your face when you would visit me because you were playing mother to Cesar meanwhile trying to juggle everything else. Trying to make sure you would always come to see me… so I thought ending everything would be better, I thought you would be better off.”

The rage and ache in your heart fights against each other. He is saying one thing but to you its processing as nothing but an excuse. You want to yell and thrash your fists against his chest so he can feel just a sliver of what you went through.

“I was better off with you. It didn’t matter to me what we were going through Oscar… If it was something joyous or something scrutinizing, as long it was with you and we were together, I wanted it all with you. I was ready to go through this journey with you. But you just gave up on us like that.” You snap your fingers and blink away the tears that had begun pooling for sometime now. His shoulders cave in and he dips his head down, unable to keep his eyes locked onto yours.

“Give me a chance to prove that I haven’t given up on you or us.”

You wanted to laugh again. To point and scream how silly he sounds and to catch the circus act before they leave town but the way he says it is the reason you didn’t. How low his voice is, how soft his eyes are and his walls had dropped to below sea level is what made you stand so incredibly still.

Do you take the chance? Should push aside all the vines and roots that have grown over the chest labeled: Oscar, to let him in again?

taglist: @clemmingstylins0n @fairygardenss @princesstiffxoxo @firebenderwolf @mbaku-babygirl @chellybear98 @multiyfandomgirl40 @i-just-wanna-live-gc @roury66 @lillict @tinylumpiaa @prettymya3 @starrynite7114 @aneitii @b3mybunnybaby @angelxfics @spookysbabymama @kkim120 @ladylj @vayagrxce @irenne-stans @boujee-bitches @blessedboo @lidumiw @morenokatt @gltrpzy (please let me know if you want to be added or removed!)

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moxfirefly · 3 years

Note

For MIKEY with a female companion please?!?!?

59. "How mad would you be if we took a break for pizza rolls?"

47. "I know we're just friends but you're sitting on my lap and I'm so sorry if I get hard."

11. "Sit on my face immediately."

Hello there! Yes I can. Also I’m tagging @annaliaandtheturtles on this too because you basically asked for the same prompts so I hope you don’t mind friend!

Also I’ve been dying to these with my orange boi so let’s get it.

Rated Explicit/Comedy? (18+ only)

This didn’t exactly feel like a very ‘friendly’ thing to do, in fact this isn’t something friends do and while those thoughts did race in your head along with warning bells, you simply ignored it.

Because seriously, friends do not in any way shape or form platonically dry hump each other.

Naturally this evening your plans didn’t exactly consist of this to begin with. Michelangelo had shown up after patrol, looking a little more bruised up than usual and somewhat glum. He’d explained the hiccup during patrol had been partly his fault and he’d gotten the stern big brother(s) talk from all 3 of his eldest siblings.

It wasn’t fun.

Being the baby had its perks but at moments like this is truly annoyed him that at his twenty one years of age he was still being treated like this whenever he messed up. So he knew he could blow off steam with you by just being away from the Lair for the rest of night.

You noticed how affected he was by it all, the usual peppy banter not there and the way he hissed when he moved around his seat spoke of the nights events. So what? You had sat on his lap, side saddle and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. You’d given him your own stern talk, but this one filled with a lot more praise for his skills, wits and strength. His blue orbs had shone, he’d really needed that.

You’d hugged him, he’d hugged back (somewhat shyly wrapping his arms around your midsection) and it had been a nice long embrace. He’d felt your hand rub his shell, he’d rubbed a soft circle on your back.

When you leaned back you gave him a quick, albeit friendly, peck on the lips. Which wasn’t a big deal, right? Of course not, so what Mikey felt his cheeks heat up? And you chuckled nervously because his lips were insanely soft?

Not. A. Big. Deal.

There had been a solid five minutes of silence with Mikey bitting the inside of his cheeks and you adjusting your weight on his lap. He had winced again some what and you feared you’d sat on some bruise. You were about stand up and let him have his reprieve when he kept you there. “Um, uh...” He swallowed, brow ridges raised. “Mikey? You alright th-“ You fixed your posture and he looked away.

“I know we’re just friends but you’re sitting on my lap and I’m so sorry if I get hard” He basically spoke it to the floor, clearly embarrassed of the predicament but more so because you did feel something rather, well hard poking your backside. Your ‘oh’ face was followed by your cheeks heating up, but something inside of you urged you on. A gentle press of your palm to his cheek moved his face back into your line of sight.

And while your brain chanted ‘you’re just friends you’re just friends YOU’RE JUST FRIENDS’ it seemed to have fallen on deaf ears. You had leaned in and kissed him.

It never dawned on you that one simple kiss could lead to such a turn of events:

That included a thorough dry hump session where the chair had started to dangerously creak. By then you had unglued yourself from him but your hands had urged him on to follow, pressed against the table Mikey had kissed you again like a possessed man. Pent up didn’t summarize it, pent up couldn’t exactly explain it. It didn’t explain the tearing of your shirt from your head or your shaking hurried hands untying the jacket around his waist. It didn’t explain you both kissing sloppily towards the living room because the bed felt too far away and Mikey was tripping on kicking off his own shoes.

The laundry list of questions that ran through Mikey’s head were pretty much the same ones you had. Would this ruin the friendship? Were the two of you secretly in love? Was being in love with your best friend a good topic to bring up when you had your hand down said best friend’s shorts?

Mikey moaned, so did you.

Questions could maybe take a back seat for now.

His eyes fell on your chest, desire evident in his pretty blue eyes and so you tore yourself away from him long enough to catch one another’s breathes and unhooked your bra. You’d never seen somebody look equal parts shocked and excited, but there he was a shaking mess as his eyes looked from your chest to your eyes. “Yes for Christ sake have at them” You half laughed and commanded him, Mikey’s ‘right right’ only made you laugh more when he cupped them.

To say he had dreamt about this moment was a true understatement. Getting to do it? Actually holding such soft pieces of flesh, and god they were soft, Mikey felt he should maybe thank god or the closest affiliate. But it still nagged at him that this was all happening with you, with his Brest friend.

His breast friend who has the softest and most beautiful-

Focus man.

“Y/n I know this is like happening but I don’t want us to be weird afterwards because you’re well my bestie dude, and well- this isn’t weird right? We’re good?” You had never seen such a level of concern for somebody literally grabbing a hold of your tits.

This was absolutely bonkers.

“Do you want to stop?” It was firm, you weren’t going to allow whatever exactly this was, cloud your judgement. Mikey’s hands slid from their hold to rest of your waist. He thought, he honest to god pushed all desire away for five excruciating seconds and thought if maybe it was best to discuss this.

It also dawned on him that he was starving.

Impressive how the mind and body work.

Mikey’s gaze landed on yours, “How mad would you be if we took a break for pizza rolls? Just to like get our bearings man, I want to do this but-” How he was doing this while still staring at your boobs was impressive, you shook your head with a smile.

“Look at your being the mature one. I guess we should talk about this first and I wouldn’t mind some pizza rolls” You picked up his jacket, opting for putting that on since it covered most of you, Mikey couldn’t help but feel kinda giddy about that. He also couldn’t help his smile when you grabbed his hand and went back to the kitchen with him in toe.

Having a beautiful girl in nothing but his jacket pulling out two bags of Tostino’s pizza rolls while simultaneously trying to curb your hard on to take a break, was no easy feat for him. “I’ve got five cheese and pepperoni, who am I asking of course you want pepperoni, you want the entire bag?” You were already depositing the entire bag on the tray, going over to turn the oven on (because you knew how he hated when it was microwaved).

Mikey blinked at you.

You were making him pizza rolls, in the oven, you were giving him a Costco size bag all for himself, you were beautiful and absolutely a smokeshow of a woman.

“Holy shit I’m in love with you” It dawned on him so easily and so clearly and so abruptly.

You smiled, he looked so adorably flustered but happy. Mikey being happy due to you had always done that, it had always made you warm and excited. Somewhere along those lines the answer was there, it had just decided to announce itself now.

“I’m in love with you too, I can’t believe it took us nearly fucking” You covered your mouth, laughter bubbling up to the surface, Mikey couldn’t help it too, he started laughing with you. After a few seconds the two of you sighed contended with each other’s confessions.

You walked over towards him and threw your arms around him. Mikey hugged you tightly, your aroma so pleasant and comforting, he was happy it would be on his hoodie for a few days. He liked it even more that he would get to feel you like this, against him all warm and soft.

“Do you maybe wanna try this again and we’ll eat the pizza rolls afterwards?” You asked a little embarrassed by how turned on you still were.

He could have a beautiful girl? He could have pizza rolls with said beautiful girl afterwards? And she liked him back too?

“Sit on my face immediately” He responded without hesitation.

#tmnt bayverse #mikey tmnt #tmnt mikey x reader #tmnt michelangelo x female reader #michelangelo tmnt #tmnt michelangelo x reader #tmnt mikey #tmnt michelangelo #michelangelo x reader #mikey x reader #Mikey #Michelangelo #ask #lithebunnyq #annaliaandtheturtles #smut prompts #ns*w

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smoochkooks · 3 years

Text

—chapter four: white lies

this is a part of my an ode to a broken heart drabble series.

pairing: jeon jungkook/reader

genre: unrequited love, best friends to (?), heavy angst, future smut

word count: 1.5k

summary: it came easy to you to lie. but with every untold truth, you were hurting more on the inside.

previous || next

one year and 6 months ago

April was exceptionally moody that year.

Every day you woke up to either heavy rainfall or a beautiful, cloudless sky. Alternatively, it could also snow for a couple of hours just to have it all vanish once the sun reappeared. As much as you loved Spring, you hated the capricious weather with passion.

It was a normal, peaceful, Saturday afternoon. Saturday meant no classes to attend, no work to do on the side. It was just you in your small, cozy apartment, tucked underneath the blanket and binge-watching Attack On Titan.

You were never an anime enthusiast per se, but you happened to befriend a doe-eyed weeb all those years ago. Your current occupation was just a part of the aftermath. It wasn’t like Jungkook was obsessed, not at all. He was actually far from it. Now, at the tender age of twenty-three, his old hobby was like a relapse. His love for anime was coming in waves every once in a while, gradually transforming into a two-months-long hyperfixation and then, it was nothing. And the cicle continued.

He was currently in the stage of re-watching Attack On Titan, hence why you had been forced to finally give the damned anime a try as well. Hell, he was even coming over tonight to have a marathon with you.

(He’d said that season three, his favourite, you had to watch alongside him.)

You: eren's annoying little shit

Jungkook: told you so

You: but levi? damn I’d sell my soul for him

Jungkook: for a 5’2 emotionally unavailable man?

You: yep. that’s my type

It was far from truth. As much as you liked Captain Levi, he wasn’t Jungkook. You are my type, you wanted to write instead. There hadn’t been a man in my life who managed to even come close to you. But, as always, you kept those confessions to yourself.

Right when you were about to play another episode, your phone buzzed again.

Jungkook: I have a weird question

You: I’m used to that

You: shoot your shot.

Jungkook: what’s your finger size?

Confused, you read his last message once again. That was indeed a weird fucking question to ask, you thought. You had never really been a fan of rings. You only owed one - a gift from your grandmother she gave you for your sixteenth birthday. Rummaging thorough your drawer, you found it in a separate, black case.

It still fit just right, so you took a ruler, measured the size and googled the results.

You: it’s 7.5 I guess

You: why do you ask tho?

Jungkook: I need you to go somewhere with me before our marathon if that’s okay

You: you didn’t answer my question

You: but okay. what time?

Jungkook: ill pick you up at 5pm

Jungkook: you’ll see

Maybe it was for the better he hadn’t told you where he was taking you. If you had know, you would have backed away last minute. Come up with so lame excuse, blame it all on a headache or period cramps.

If you had known Jungkook was taking you to pick up an engagement ring for Soojin, you would have never come with him.

When you parked in front of one of the most high-ranking jewellery stores dowtown, the solemnity of the situation hit you like a whiplash. You took a deep, shuddering breath. Jungkook was thinking about marrying Soojin. Jungkook was going to propose to her, soon. He was ready to spent the rest of his life with her.

Jeon Jungkook, the love of your life, was about to slip out of your reach for good.

You couldn’t cry. Not in front of him. You clenched your fists so tight the knuckles turned white.

“I figured out you could help me,” Jungkook said, breaking the silence and unbuckled his seatbelt. “I checked Soojin's finger size once when she was showering and then I found out that your’s the same and well, you’re a girl so you obviously know more about jewellery than me and–”

“Jungkook,” you cut him off with a dry chuckle. You didn’t want him to speak. You didn’t want to see him. You wanted to jumped off his car and ran away from that place as far as possible. “You don’t have to explain yourself. I get it.”

You smiled at him with reassurance. It was actually hilarious, how you mastered the art of feigning your real feelings when you were with him. It came easy to you to lie but with every untold truth, you were hurting more on the inside.

“I’m here, so you don’t have to worry about chosing something horrible.”

He grinned and you noticed a dust of pink covering the apples his cheeks. It was hard, so fucking hard seeing him happy because that was all you ever wanted and yet it pained you not to be the main source of it. Jungkook was twenty-three and already so in love he wanted to get married. You were going to see him in a black tux, a prince charming waiting in front of the altar for his princess.

It ached. Why did it ache to see him happy?

The lady who worked at the jewellery store greeted you politely with a bow. “What can I do for you?” she asked.

“We are looking for engagement rings.” Jungkook answered.

You could tell she was a bit astounded but her professional smile never faltered when she responded with, “Oh, that’s still quite unusual to see the couple chosing an engagement ring together.”

You were about to protest but then, Jungkook did something you would never expect him to do.

He grasped your hand.

(It was warm. His touch was soothing. Comforting. Then why did it hurt so bad?)

“My girlfriend wants to chose the ring herself but she doesn’t know when she will get it.”

To make matters worse, he sent you a wink. The store’s clerk cooed at the scene and clasped a hand over her chest. For her it was yet another day at work, yet another pair of adults who had decided to get marry.

“You make a really beautiful couple.” she said.

Even Jungkook’s hand squeezing yours couldn’t ease the sting you felt hearing her speak those words to you. You smiled lightly for good measure. She then pointed at the display and gave you some time and space too look at the options.

Your whole face felt hot. Jungkook was still holding your hand, still playing the role of a perfect boyfriend. He didn’t seem to notice what kind of effect it had on you. He didn’t know how fast your heart was beating, how warm his touch felt on your skin. It was all just a silly joke to him.

He leaned closer to you, so the store's clerk couldn’t hear him. His breath tickled your skin. “You’re blushing.” he whispered.

“Shut up.”

He chuckled and let go of your hand. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel uncomfortable.”

(No matter how much it hurt you on the inside, you already missed his touch.)

“It’s okay. Let’s chose my damned ring, shall we?” you proposed, mustering a nonchalant tone.

Dodging uneasiness with humor always worked out, it seemed.

You felt odd and out of place standing next to him and staring at all those glimmering jewels. In the corner of the eye you saw the lady who worked there glancing at you from time to time and that was when you remembered you were supposed to act like a soon-to-be fiancée.

“They’re all pretty.” you said to Jungkook.

“Which one you like the most then?”

You didn’t have to think long about the answer. The ring with an emerald stone caught your eye from the beginning. It was different than the others, definitely not a standard choice for engagement but something about its peculiarity made you want it to have it shinning on your finger one day.

Except, you weren’t here for yourself. Jungkook wasn’t your boyfriend. You were helping him chose a ring for Soojin. And you knew exactly what she would like.

So you pointed at the number thirty-two. A sparkling, white-gold ring with an oval-shaped diamond.

Jungkook let out a hum. “It’s really pretty, yeah. Excuse me,” he called. “My girlfriend would like to try out this one.”

You ignored the phantom pain you felt as you put the ring on. You flexed your fingers and just for a moment, you pretended it wasn’t a farce your best friend came up with. The diamond shone brightly just like the glimmers of happiness in Jungkook's eyes. He didn’t have to worry about Soojin's answer. He knew it would be thousand times yes.

You were good at pretending. After all, you had been practicing the art of it almost your entire life.

So you drove with Jungkook to your apartment and listened to him babbling about his newest project at work. You made snacks, sat in front of your TV and spent the next couple of hours watching Attack On Titan. You cursed him for spoiling you a few bits of the show and Jungkook, like the petty Virgo he was, reminded you how you accidentally revealed him Little Women's ending because you had read the book years before.

As you laughed and bickered with him, you still remembered about the crimson box tucked in the pocket of his leather jacket, but you didn’t allow yourself to break. Not yet.

It was only when Jungkook fell asleep around 1am that you stepped into the shower and let the tears flow.

And a week later, when the dreaded became real–

Jungkook: she said yes!!!

A white lie was told to avoid hurting someone’s feelings.

You: I’m so happy for you, Jungkook!

After all, the best you could do was give up your happiness for the sake of his own.

#jungkook smut #btswritingcafe #ksmutclub #bangtanarmynet #bangtanhq #jungkook angst #jungkook x reader #jungkook fanfic #jungkook x you #bts smut #my writing #an ode to a broken heart

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thepixiediaries · 2 years

Note

🌧️ <- for the drabble thing!

rain is one of my favorite things <3

Send me emoji(s) and I'll write a drabble: 🌧️ Rainy day activities

thank u soooo much for requesting this && sorry for how long this took!! i was writing for a solid couple hours and before i knew it, this 'drabble' had basically turned into a flash fic hehe

these characters are from an as of yet unnamed steampunk fantasy wip ive been working on! its not particularly connected to the main story but i could see it being a short story/novella about them later on in the story. hope u enjoy <3

The sudden change in weather was a disappointment to Mitja. It wasn’t that he spent a lot of time outdoors but he did appreciate coming outside and being greeted with sunshine after being cooped up for however many hours he spent researching in his library, accompanied only by flickering candlelight.

Mitja was a man of routine. But while he was disappointed, this new weather didn’t particularly disturb him as it just meant he shifted that routine to accommodate the rain. As usual, he spent his time tucked into the armchair by the fireplace with a book in his hands.

On this particular rainy day however, Mitja was experiencing something highly unusual in the vein of an unexpected visitor. Nikolai had shown up on Mitja’s doorstep, completely soaked. Apparently, he had been caught out in the rain and needed to find shelter while the storm passed over.

Not wanting him to catch cold, Mitja had offered Nikolai a bath. So now, Mitja was not just reading but in fact, waiting for Nikolai. As he heard the familiar plodding of Nikolai’s footsteps behind him, Mitja closed his book and placed it beside him. He turned around to ask how Nikolai was feeling before stopping at the sight of him.

“Why aren’t you wearing any clothes?” Mitja squeaked out, overwhelmed by the sight of Nikolai’s bare torso. The small towel wrapped around his neck did a pitiful job of covering the vast expanse of his upper body. Another, thankfully larger, towel hung dangerously low on his hips, forcing Mitja to look elsewhere.

The wound on his shoulder caught Mitja’s attention. Even though it was partially obscured, Mitja was intimately familiar with the shape of it. Three bullets had passed through the skin there. Nikolai was infinitesimally fortunate that none of them had pierced bone. Mitja often thanked the gods that he had been there to give him emergency care. As a result of what Nikolai liked to playfully call his “magic touch,” the wound had healed nicely. The newly-formed scar was pale in colour, contrasting starkly with his brown skin — a haunting reminder of what had transpired.

“Didn’t fit.” Nikolai answered, his voice gruff. For a moment, Mitja was confused at Nikolai’s interjection. Mitja’s thorough examination of Nikolai’s exposed body had forced his original question out of his mind. Recalling what he had originally asked, Mitja felt even more embarrassed at his shameful mind. Of course none of Mitja’s spare clothes fit Nikolai — he was built like Laocoon, sculpted in marble. Blood rushed to his cheeks as he thought about how Nikolai stood a whole head taller than him.

There was no denying that Nikolai flustered him. It was incredibly obvious from the way his body instinctually responded to his presence — and if the arrogant smirk plastered on Nikolai’s face was anything to go by, Nikolai noticed it as well. Mitja would never admit this fact out loud, if only to keep Nikolai’s considerable ego in check. In response to his knowing smirk, Mitja huffed, turning his head away in an act of play-defiance. It was a farce of course, because Mitja’s eyes stayed trained on Nikolai, looking up at him from under his eyelashes.

He had moved on from gloating and was busy drying his hair with the towel around his neck. Well, trying to, anyway. It became apparent to Mitja that the reason Nikolai was struggling was because he was avoiding using his injured arm. His heart twinged.

“Let me do it.” The words rushed out of Mitja’s mouth before he could stop himself. Nikolai cocked his head to one side, urging Mitja to elaborate. The action was so adorable, Mitja wanted to scream.

“Let me dry your hair.”

Mitja expected the ever-prideful Nikolai to protest but he surprised him by handing the towel over and plopping down in front of Mitja’s armchair without a single word.

Mitja smiled. Small victories. It felt good to be relied on.

He liked this, taking care of other people. Especially when it was a person like Nikolai, who rarely showed any vulnerability, even when he was in grave danger. It was comforting to know that inside the beast that was Nikolai Volkov, there was a human being — all soft and squishy.

Mitja thought the heat of Nikolai between his legs would be distracting but the monotonous rhythm he adopted when drying his hair soothed him. The repetitive motion allowed his mind to wander. He thought about the sheen of Nikolai’s silver hair — a bold declaration of his heritage. It reminded him of his own hair, dyed the most unremarkably dull brown he could find, and of the silvery roots that had begun to appear at the base of his head. Ever since he saw Nikolai so brazenly display that mark of his — of their — community, Mitja had begun to think that perhaps it was time for him to grow out his own hair.

Mitja paused mid-motion when he heard Nikolai let out a drawn out groan.

“Sorry, did that hurt?” Mitja asked, voice laced with concern and a sliver of guilt. He was a nurse, for gods’ sake, hurting people was the last thing he wanted. “I can stop if you’d like.”

“No, no.” Nikolai shook his head, then rested it on Mitja’s inner thigh.

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah, yeah. I… I like it when you do that.”

Struck by the sincerity in Nikolai’s words, it took a couple of seconds before Mitja resumed his ministrations, massaging Nikolai’s temple with the towel.

Mitja did not usually like the rain. But as Nikolai leaned into his touch, making small contented noises, he thanked the gods for sending this most fortuitous rain to him. And if he was being completely honest, for sending this man into his life.

#my work #drabbles #flash fiction #filled prompts #romance #queer romance #mlm romance #anonymous #my asks #wip: dogs of avalon

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twiddle-dee-twiddle-dumb · 3 years

Text

HAIKYUU! BOYS WHEN S/O HAVE TO SUDDENLY TRAVEL FOR WORK

A/N: This is long overdue. XD Enjoy!! Again, thank you for your likes, reblogs and follows. I'm eternally grateful. :'))

Toru Oikawa

· Oikawa just got back from an overseas game and the both of you are in your favorite restaurant spending your quality time together. Since Toru was in overseas for months, you applied as a researcher in the university that you work for. You have been waitlisted for weeks and when they finally accepted your application, they can only accommodate you as a substitute researcher/research assistant. Which to you is fine, since you’re just looking for something to pass time as your husband is not around.

· You helped and worked in a research project. The research team is about to gather data for the study. They would need data for each prefecture and that would take weeks to work on. Being only a substitute researcher, you learned the ins and outs of the project but you’re only asked to do something when needed to or when they lack manpower.

· You are enjoying your meal with Toru, listening his tales of his games and life overseas, his bragging about his international fangirls to which you laughed at, and his language learning. He acquired quite few though. You were enjoying the night so far when your phone successively chimed in—means that there are messages coming in.

· You took a peek at your phone screen and saw that it was the research team group messages. They are in a haywire. You haven’t really grasp what was happening with the research team as your attention is divided with Toru and your blown-up phone.

· “Babe, are you listening to me?!” he asked when he noticed that you’re furrowing at your phone.

· “Yes, babe. It’s just that these messages from the university are coming in and blowing up my phone.” You smiled sweetly as you put it on mute before putting it aside. “You were saying, darling?” So Toru continued narrating his and his team mates’ shenanigans overseas. As your husband is in the middle of his story, your phone started to vibrate inside your bag. You tried to ignore it until you couldn’t so you have to tell Toru to hold up and you would just check if everything’s okay with the research team.

· It was the lead researcher who is calling you. They have been messaging you but of course, this is your personal time. They couldn’t blame you for responding late or not responding at all.

· “Hello?” you picked up the phone. “Hello, Oikawa-san. I’m sorry, but are you available?” the one on the other end said. “Honestly, no. I’m somewhere.” you answered truthfully. The person on the other line sighed, “That’s too bad. We need your help, Oikawa-san. Ishii-san’s wife went into labor and he cannot go with us to proceed with the research. You’re our only hope.” You sensed the desperation but you cannot just jump in the waters especially now, that he’s back.

· “Fujihara-san, I cannot answer you right away. My husband just arrived from overseas and I still have to discussed it with him.” You told your senior. You heard a sigh on the other line but Fujihara-san agreed and said that you still have time to decide until tomorrow, hoping that you’ll agree because your name is also credited to the research. Like your actual name is placed as one of the researchers.

· The call ended and Toru was looking at you questioningly. You just said ‘later at home’ as you don’t want to spoil the rest of the evening. But your husband already knows something is up. You went back to where you were a while ago until you finished your time in the resto.

· “Darling-chan, did you enjoy our dinner?” Toru asked you, swaying your held hands as you walk to the next block where your car is park. “Yes, I did.” You beamed at him and then you frowned a little bit, recalling the call earlier. “What’s with your face, Y/N-chan?” you shook your head in response. “Is it about the call you got a while back?” he pressed further. You just nodded in response. Toru pulled you closer to him and kissed your cheek, squeezing your hand after. You continued your walk back to the car in silence, enjoying the nightly breeze caressing your skins.

· The drive to your house was silent. It’s kind of eating you up. You’re having mental practice of how to lay all the cards to Toru when you arrive later. Your husband is a stubborn man and he’s dramatic AF.

· “Okay, I know we’ve been silent the whole ride and that you’ve been dying to know what’s the deal.” You said the moment you got into the living room of your home. “Don’t deny it, Toru. I couldn’t count the times you’ve glanced at me on the rearview mirror.” You said before he could even express his disagreement which made him roll his eyes and mumble ‘fine’ under his breath.

· “Well… babe, I’m needed to travel for the research team.” You smiled sheepishly.

· Toru frowned. “But, I just got back darling-chan.” He’s completely opposed that you have to go away right now—now when he’s back. “Hmmpf! Your research team is ugly. Why did they decided to do your research now that I’m back?!” He continued to whine.

· “Toru, it was an emergency. I’m not supposed to go but one of the researcher’s wife went into labor and that he couldn’t go.” You tried to explain.

· “Don’t you love me anymore?! You’re leaving me when I just got here?! And you’re choosing those stinky research team over me, your pretty husband?!” you laughed at your husband’s childish rants and name-calling. He huffed and continued to whine about how they’re trying to take you time from him, how ugly they are for doing so and how annoying they are doing research.

· “Babe… well… I’ll tell them I wouldn’t go. I guess.” You said as you took pity at your husband. Toru blinked. “Really darling-chan?”

· “I guess? I mean I would be credited if I do it but it’s fine if I won’t be. I’m glad to be spending time with you.” You said. Toru is more important anyway and you miss this human so much.

· “No wait. That’d be good for your career. Just go.” You gaped at him, disbelief is apparent. You never expected this to come out from his mouth. Not when he spent minutes childishly slandering the research team.

· “But I’m getting you pregnant though as a revenge on them. So when you’re all doing another research, you’ll be in labor and they have to find a replacement. ” he supplied before you could react. You narrowed your eyes at him but he just looked at you smugly. “Hah, I’m so cunning, Darling-chan.” More like petty, you thought but you could only shake your head.

· You reassured once again if he is really okay with you going. He said yes and now, he’s pulling you to your bedroom with the agenda of helping you pack and getting you pregnant.

Hajime Iwaizumi

· Iwaizumi just got home from work. He has been working late these days since there are an upcoming overseas game in four months. The players are also in a grind. There is too much pressure in Hajime’s work so you’re being extra considerate with him.

· You’ve been preparing him dinner, baths and massages even though you also came home from work. Because if the situation is reversed, your husband would do that for you.

· “Haji, welcome home.” You greeted him by the door. You heard his car from the outside.

· “Hi, baby.” He answered while giving you a soft peck on your lips. You got his bag from him as he removed his shoes by the door.

· You slowly pulled Hajime towards the kitchen. “I know you haven’t had dinner yet.” You motioned for him to sit as you reheat the dinner your made for him in advance and prepped the plate and the utensils. “Haji, do you want a warm Chamomile tea, tonight?” you asked him while preparing two set of cups.

· You felt two arms snaked on your waist while feeling the weight of his head on your shoulders.

· “Yes, baby. Please.” He mumbled, his head still leaned on your shoulder. You gently turned around to face him. You caressed his hair as you said ‘okay’. He looks so worn out, dark circles started to form on his eye and there’s also a five-day old stubble on his face. You gently pat him for a minute until he lets go and let you do what you have to do.

· You laid out the chamomile tea and the dinner you’ve made for him. Hajime started eating and he asked you about your day. You told him that you had a very long day working from home. Your office was so busy because there are foreign investors coming and that you are rushing to finalize everything from the arrangements to the hired translator since your company offered to hire one yourself.

· Hajime looked at you with amusement and amazement while basking in the pride that he’s also feeling. You’ve come so far with your career and he’s absolutely awed with your success. He’s also successful himself and he’s very grateful to share that success with you.

· You and Haji are cleaning up the dishes when your phone shrilled from the living room. You looked at Haji, bewildered for it is already this late before excusing your self to answer the call.

· Your brows furrowed when you saw it was your boss calling. “Hello, Good Evening Aizawa-san. How may I help you?” you said carefully while wondering what could’ve gone wrong with your thorough preparation.

· “Iwaizumi-san, I’m very sorry to call you this late but the translator we hired cannot come tomorrow. He got into a car accident.” You heard you boss’ sigh. He was so happy that everything was going well and now this happened.

· “Oh, Aizawa-san, that’s terrible. I hope he’s fine now. Do you want me to look for another translator?” you glanced at the clock, it’s already a quarter to twelve. You’re starting to get worried now. You’ve been preparing and pitching this meeting for months, there’s no way that it’s not going to push through because you have no translator for tomorrow.

· “He’s recovering now. No, Iwaizumi-san. I looked up your files again and found out that you know how to speak English.” Your boss said. You suddenly remembered that you include putting it in your additional set of skills when you applied for a job. Luckily, they hired you even though you don’t really have the experience back then. But you persevered and now, a couple of years later, you’re climbing up the top.

· “Yes, sir. I do. I lived in England for about six months for an exchange program. Pardon me if I asked why did you bring it up, sir?”

· “Well, I want you to fill in the translator’s job instead. I’ll be paying you extra since this is another job I asked you to do.” Your boss said with finality. You have no choice but to agree. Your boss bid you goodbye and expects to see you at the venue tomorrow. Not only that, you have to be with them for the duration of the foreigners’ visit.

· You slumped on the couch, feeling the wave of exhaustion again. You thought you can spend your day with Hajime in his work place tomorrow. You were excited for that. You even prepared what to cook for him and the team tomorrow. You also have something to say to him tomorrow which adds up the excitement.

· “What’s with the big sigh, honey?” Hajime asked as he sat beside you on the couch. You pout at him, not really wanting to speak because you’re on the brink of tears.

· You dived unto Haji’s chest while wrapping your hands on his waist. You inhaled his scent.

· “Haj, I’m gonna leave for work tomorrow.” You said in a low, muffled voice.

· “What did you say, babe? I didn’t hear it quite well.” He said as he kissed the top of your head.

· You looked at him and pouted before saying that you have to leave for work. Hajime lets out a small ‘oh’. You saw Haji tried to blink the disappointment away but failed, with a small frown emerging from his lips. Haji was also excited. It’s been so long since you’ve come over to his workplace. You apologized to him because you couldn’t keep your word but he reassures you that it’s fine. He asked why though and you explained to him the conversation you have with your boss.

· “Aww, I’m so proud of you, baby. You’ve come this far. We’re successful in our own ways. Though we sometimes spend time away, I am so thankful to share this success with you.” You melt at Hajime’s words. You never thought that you’ll hear these things from him now. He doesn’t really shower you with affectionate words but rather, actions. You thought that’s all what he has to say but you’re wrong.

· “Tomorrow, I know you’ll do great as you always do. You’re a great employee, a great daughter, a great friend, a great wife and… a great mother.” You gasp at his last statement. You looked at him, surprised.

· “How did you—” Hajime cut you off with a deep kiss.

· “I installed your tracker remember? You also logged in your account. So, whenever you update, my tracker info also gets updated.” You laughed at him sheepishly. So much for the surprise.

You asked him if he was happy. He replied ‘ecstatic’. He pulled you up to go to bed since you’re expecting, he thinks that you should sleep early. You bargained to stay up a little longer since you need to fix your suitcase bringing three-days’ worth of clothes. When you finished, you and Hajime cuddled until you both feel asleep— asleep feeling more devoted and committed to each other and the upcoming little Iwaizumi.

#hq fluff #hq oikawa #hq iwaizumi #haikyuu fluff #haikyu x reader #haikyuu time skip #haikyuu fic #hajime iwaizumi #oikawa toru

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trans-xianxian · 2 years

Note

Hiiiii sorry to bother you !!!

I need some advice

I’ve been seeing many posts about the untamed going around and I was fascinated by the aesthetic and the cultural aspects of the show/story

I’m also trying to get into something new because the last fandom I was in is incredibly toxic and full of ship wars and I honestly just want to find something new with a more chill fanbase

So I was super hyped when I found out that the untamed, which I was already curious about, was actually based on a novel, since I usually like books a lot more than movies or tv shows

The problem is that when I went looking for reviews for the book, I found many comments from Chinese speaking readers who said that the English translated novel is actually a bad place to start if you want to get into the story, because it’s awfully translated

So I was wondering if you (or your anons) have some suggestion on this topic and wether it’s true that it’s better to start by watching the show and reading the novel later (or not read it at all) or if it’s actually not that bad and it’s an enjoyable read

Thank you !!!!

hi anon! sorry it took me so long to respond to you, I just wanted to give a thorough answer and have been very busy/tired. this got very very long... oops!

two things, first, in the interest of pure transparency:

1. I cannot recommend cql (aka the untamed) enough, but if you are looking for a chill fanbase free of toxicity, you are not going to find it here. given the nature and cotext of the story, a lot of problems in the fanbase move past just petty drama and go into the territory of more serious issues like racism and homophobia, both when people talk about the story and its characters, and when interacting with other real life people and referring to the real life actors who play the characters. and, like any other fanbase, "shipping wars" go past petty arguments, and into people defending incest and abuse. people can be incredibly rude, invasive, malicious, and show a complete lack of boundaries or respect, and I have experienced my fair share of them, in response to things from condemning incest all the way to liking a character. I love cql, it's my favorite show and it means a lot to me, I think it's worth the watch regardless of the issues the fanbase has, and there are definitely pockets of genuinely cool people outside of the drama and the more serious problems, but since you brought that up I thought it was important to discuss. if you do decide to watch and/or read and you enjoy it, I'd be happy to recommend blogs and let you know of some people you might want to say away from!

2. I have never read the novel in its entirety, I have a lot of reasons for that that I will get into, so my choice not to read the novel definitely impacts my opinion on whether or not You should read it, but it's important to note that I can't give you a detailed review of the writing/translation/plot/etc, and what I'll say about those aspects comes from what I've heard from other people. I encourage people who have read the novel to share their thoughts in the replies/in my ask box!

I Have heard that the english translation of the novel is a little rough and mistranslates/misrepresents a lot of things and that it takes a lot of... Liberties with parts of the story. I've also heard that some of the more,, problematic parts of the novel are made worse in the translation, but, as I do not speak chinese, I don't know if thats actually true, and to be perfectly honest with you, "but the original isn't as bad!" sort of sounds like a way to excuse the problems the novel does actually have, regardless of whether or not it's true that the translation makes certain things worse. I will mention that an official english translation of the novel is being published but the full story is not out yet, and I don't know how chinese speakers feel about how the official english publication has handled the translation thus far. I think that, regardless of how well something is translated, some details are bound to get lost in the process and certain things don't make sense transferring from one culture to another without more context or a further attempt at understanding. it's incredibly valuable and important to listen to chinese speakers and chinese people in general and the context that they share about language, culture, etc, and that goes for both the novel and the show

like I said I have a lot of issues with the novel and have my reasons for not reading it. I Have read bits and pieces, and doing so just solidified my decision not to read the full thing

the way that the women characters are portrayed in the novel is... questionable at best. there are very few women in the main cast (and just the story in general) to begin with, and most fall into an unfortunate misogynistic pattern of only being there as a means to develope the men characters and serve as tragic character beats for them. and, spoilers, but most of them also die

there is also a lot of homophobia in the novel in the form of oversexualization, fetishization, and feminization of the mlm characters and their relationship, as well as glorified and romanticized portrayals of rape and other breaches of consent (that I feel also come from a place of homophobia, but that's a different conversation). there are many instances of wei wuxian and lan wangji, the two male leads in a romantic and sexual relationship, doing unconsentual things to each other. their sexual relationship is not depicted in a healthy way and is full of a lot of harmful homophobic stereotypes

a lot of people who are not critical of the novel or these aspects of it argue that the things I mentioned are simply mature subjects, and that if you don't want to engage with mature content then that's your own business and shouldn't be heald against the story itself, and while I generally agree that portraying heavy subject matter or toxic behavior/dynamics in characters does not make a story inherently harmful itself, the problem I and others have with those aspects of the novel isn't that they exist in the first place, but that they're glorified and romanticized. the issue isn't that there's rape, the issue is that the rape is not only Not portrayed as unhealthy, its written in a way that frames it as almost romantic, sexy, and desirable

there are lots of plot points and things characters do that are harmful and violent and painful, and from what I know of the novel, they are still handled with nuance and framed in a way that makes it clear if they are supposed to be viewed as right or wrong or both or neither or somewhere in between, so it's not a matter of the author simply not doing a good job of establishing morals

additionally, you cannot get around the fact that the ways that wei wuxian and lan wangji are written and the way that their dynamic in general is depicted falls into harmful homophobic stereotypes, and that the women characters are not treated well or portrayed as their own individual people. that's not about the way things are framed, it's about how the inherent aspects of the characters themselves are written

this is of course not to say that cql does not have it's own problems. there are plot holes, the pacing, for better or for worse, is absolutely off the rails, it sometimes oversimplifies issues or underexplains things, and while it pays more attention and has more care for the women characters, it at times still falls into the same unfortunate patterns that the novel does

I should also say that because of certain censorship laws in china, many aspects of the novel were changed in the show. the canonically romantic relationship between wei wuxian and lan wangji is never explicitly shown in cql, and a lot of the more brutal or more morally ambiguous moments/plot points/characterizations/etc in the novel are altered for cql, as well as a few other less noticeable things. personally I think that the show does a wonderful job of portraying wei wuxian and lan wangjis relationships and manages to convey the romance of it despite not being able to portray it explicitly, and is able to make their interactions incredibly tender. I honestly think that it builds on and develops their relationship in a way that I've heard the novel does not

I've heard a lot of people who watched the show first and read the novel second say that they're glad they did it in that order because they like the characterizations and relationship dynamics in cql better and are glad they got to know the characters that way first, but still appreciate the plot aspects of the novel or even like the way the plot is handled in the novel More. if you Do decide to read the novel I'd also recommend watching the show first. from what I know of the novel, I agree that I like cqls versions of the characters more

it's important to note that cql is an Adaptation of mdzs, not an exact copy of it, and not just because of censorship. the stories are not meant to be same and they differ from each other in a lot of ways. if you decide to consume both versions of the story, don't expect them to be the same thing. the characters, plot, and relationships are all going to be different

lastly I want to say that while a lot of the criticisms of the novel are perfectly justified, and white western people are absolutely not the only people making these criticisms, I encourage you to think about what any opinions you see are actually saying and where they're coming from for yourself (including mine!). there are a lot genuinely harmful aspects of the novel and a lot of legitimate issues, but there are many people who use that genuine, justified criticism as an excuse to be racist, as well as many people who do not have any legitimate issues w the novel and the problems they have just come from a place of racism and/or cultural ignorance

obviously I love cql, and I highly recommend that you watch it! the characters are complex, the relationships are realistic and impactful, the acting is fantastic, the soundtrack is incredible, and the story itself has a lot of heart and is, generally, written very well. to me, it's definitely worth the initial confusion the first three to four episodes has a habit of bringing people, and the fact that it's 50 45 minute episodes long

though I can't speak to this myself, I've heard a lot of people say that there are many redeeming qualities to the novel and the way its that written that make it worth the read if you can look past the problems it has. I know plenty of people who are critical of mdzs and mxtx (the author) but still enjoyed the novel, it's just not personally something I'm comfortable with or something I find worth it

I enjoy cql enough as it's own story, have been able to learn enough important details about the novel, and have enough issues and discomfort around the way the novel handles things that I don't feel like I'm missing out on the good parts of mdzs by choosing not to read it. people make the point a lot that if you like an adaptation of a story, then you have to appreciate the original version and the author of said original version, but I simply find that untrue for reasons too extensive and unrelated to slap onto this already very long post, so while I acknowledge that people I trust the opinions of and that I know read the novel with a critical mindset have good things to say about it, the problems I have with it outweigh any potential merit I could give it.

I'm not going to lie and tell you that the whole thing is bad, I don't know if I think the whole thing is bad, it's impossible for me to do so without reading it, but I do know that I take issue with enough of the content within it that I can't particularly recommend it to you. I appreciate cql as it's own story and I think that it's perfectly reasonable for me to do so while at the same time disliking the novel. all of that being said, I don't think that no one ever should ever read mdzs or that people are bad for doing so, and it's obviously up to you to take what I and other people have said into consideration and make that choice for yourself

those are all or at least most of my thoughts! I hope this was at least a little bit helpful and that you enjoy the story if you decide to engage with it in any of its forms!

#hello I'm sorry this is so long I just wanted to be thorough :(#also its not a bother at all!! as you can tell I enjoy talking..#me bringing up other people's opinions on the unconsentual shit: oh my god I'm writing an argumentative essay #anyway as always this is not an invitation for people to come and yell at me and defend the novel :^)#these are my thoughts this is my blog and I literally don't care ❤#ask #anon #counts as #ghost posts #and #text #too #not tagging characters because. well. Well.#rape mention #ask to tag

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nevertheless-moving · 3 years

Text

Suicidal Misunderstanding Part Three: SW Time Travel AU #27

Part One

Part Two

Obi Wan woke with a dry mouth and a moderate headache. A fairly typical morning these days.

He peered around his bedroom in the temple confused. Wasn’t he just with Cody? Shouldn’t he be on the Negotiator? No wait, the war was over, Cody tried to kill him, and the Negotiator was a part of the Imperial Armada, of course he wouldn’t be there. He closed his eyes, snuggling back under the covers. Before he could drift back to sleep, his sluggish mind processed that last thought.

He BOLTED upright in bed. The temple had been razed, his personal chambers scorched with particular thoroughness. Just being on Coruscant was an automatic death sentence. Faint tendrils of panic began to curl around his throat before he remembered his decision to give Spice a try. He had reasoned that he should probably find at least one pleasure in his new life, instead of focusing incessantly on what was lost.

So what if he lost a few brain cells? Good riddance.

Obi-Wan had been a bit nervous, but this had ended up being his best decision in years. His goodbye to Cody had been painful, but deeply cathartic. Spice Hallucination Anakin didn’t scream like Nightmare Anakin, and the color of his eyes was perfect. Far better final memories to cling to than reality- a reminder of the good times. Comforted, he relaxed backwards in bed, pulling his blankets back around him.

He LURCHED out of bed, covers tossed aside, movement a blur.

He was still hallucinating?!? Spice shouldn’t last in the system this long! He might’ve been uncertain about whether he was supposed to smoke or snort the substance but it was a well known fact that its exhaustive but rapid passage through the body was half what made it so addictive. If nothing else, his well-restedness and thirst indicated it had been at least six hours. He looked frantically around the room, searching for some thread of unreality to pull at.

This...was not good. Hadn’t the subconscious manifestations of his friends mentioned drugs that interacted poorly with force users last night? He had dismissed it at the time but...

He clearly was stuck in some sort of drugged fantasy combined with force-enhanced memory recall. Kriff, he had to wake up in the real world before he died of an aneurysm. Or just dehydration.

He sat on the ‘temple floor’ to meditate. This could be tricky as he couldn’t risk lowering his outer shields to reach out to reality. It would be deeply embarrassing as well as horrifying if the Emperor managed to find him and, by extension, Luke because he got stuck in a bad spice trip.

The door to his room clicked open quietly.

“Oh! You’re awake. Sorry to come in without knocking, Master. I wanted to let you sleep, but I’ve been checking on you every two hours to make sure you were still, you know, breathing. You were...pretty out of it last night and I would be a pretty bad ‘best friend in the whole galaxy’ if I let you choke on your own vomit, right?” His blue-eyed Padawan explained with a grin.

Obi-Wan just stared. Oh this- this hurt. It was easier last night, when the whole fantasy had a kind of drunken blurriness. Sleeping and waking had brought sober clarity to the dream world. He could see the bags under Anakin’s eyes as well as the sheepish slouch of his shoulders as he instinctively ducked at the door frame. It was just so real.

“Obi-Wan? Are you feeling ok? Do you still feel drunk?” Anakin asked concerned.

Obi-Wan shook his head. He hesitated, before deciding to just go along with the interaction. He didn’t want to risk his subconscious throwing a less idylic scene at him by pretending to ignore this one. And besides, last night had been, all totaled, a huge relief- an unburdening of things left unsaid. This was probably the closest thing to therapy available to him these days, he might as well take advantage.

“I’m just...processing. Not to mention dealing with some mild dehydration.” He finally answered.

“Processing, huh? So does that mean you, uh, remember last night?” Anakin asked nervously.

“I do.” Obi-Wan smiled gently. As heart-wrenching as this was, it was also adorably sweet. Maybe it was worth it to push off waking for a little while. He could get some closure, maybe even work through some of the past to see where the two of them had gone wrong. It might even be helpful for Luke! Force willing, he would probably end up training Anakin’s son someday.

(the boy wouldn’t have many masters to choose from)

If this dream world could help him figure out specifically how he had failed as a Master, then he owed it to the galaxy to see it through. Satisfied, he resolved to let the fantasy play out. At least for a few more more hours. And...he had missed what Anakin had said. Wonderful start.

“I’m very sorry, Anakin would you mind repeating that? I was still a little distracted, but I promise, I’m focused on you now.”

Anakin shuffled nervously. “It’s nothing.”

Obi-Wan tried to project reassurance without actually projecting. “Please Anakin, I’d like to hear what you have to say. I know I wasn’t the most observant or approachable Master, and I’m sorry for that. But I have always cared about your thoughts and feelings.” It was a struggle and the words caught in his throat, but the raw burn of the apology was cleansing in an almost addictive way.

Anakin flushed. “Did you mean everything you said?” he asked nervously.

“I’d...rather not talk about seeing the destruction of the temple, seeing you... Maybe later...but please, I just don’t want to focus on it while I’m sitting here, looking at you,” Obi-Wan said quietly.

“That actually wasn’t what I was talking about,” Anakin responded quickly. “I mean, I do want to help you with that at some point, but I get not wanting to talk about visions, even if you should probably should. Of course if you do want to talk about that stuff, that’s more important, but since you don’t we can talk about the other stuff you mentioned. I was more referring to, you know, us, and what you said about our friendship?” his voice got progressively higher the longer he rambled.

Obi-Wan thought back. “Well some of it is a little hazy, but overall yes. I...for a very long time I’ve considered you my best friend, and its not so easy for me to let go of my affections. I miss spending time with you; there are times I turn to say something and am still shocked you’re not there. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, with real words, how much I cared. I’m sorry I didn’t hug you as much as I wanted, looking back that was a nonsensical Jedi custom. It’s not in the code; it’s just an affectation of dignity. All things considered, the fact that you often snuck out to see Padme doesn’t really bother me.” He paused. “Was that everything?”

“Oh. Yeah, that pretty much covered everything.” Anakin looked embarrassed, but happy. “I wasn’t sure if you were just saying that stuff because you were drugged, or really drunk or something.”

“No, I meant what I said. I suppose it just took an altered state for me to relax enough to actually say it instead of just thinking at you and assuming you would know. I must admit, its difficult for me to maintain this emotional honesty without feeling drunk, but it’s good. This is good.”

“Ah, that’s... wow. So you weren’t drugged? Cody was concerned you seemed to off for much you actually drank.”

Obi-Wan frowned. Hadn’t that been a trip? Vision blurring from desert hovel to some nameless Catina he once visited with Cody. The continuity since then was almost unsettling. But, then again, Obi-Wan always did have a remarkable talent for self-delusion, didn’t he. He waved away the concerns.

“My substance consumption was entirely deliberate and exactly what I needed. There might have been some unknown additions with some unforeseen after-affects, but like I said- I’m not drunk. I’m clear minded and in full control right now and I knowingly accept the current fallout from whatever I took. I could meditate and force purge to completely recenter, but I think it would be far wiser to just see where this goes. Do you disagree, Anakin?”

Anakin grinned widely. “Whatever you say, Obi-Wan. Just remember this is your idea. Also, I’m taking you to the healers tonight if you’re not completely back to yourself.”

Obi-Wan signed, “If I’m not back to myself in 12 hours, than I fully agree that’s a problem worthy of the halls of healing.”

“Right,” Anakin nodded decisively, “I’ll go get you some water then comm Cody to tell him you’re still alive.

Obi-Wan smiled weakly in response. This wasn’t just a hashed up memory; the responsiveness was more that. He quickly got dressed, hands lingering over soft fabrics and sand-free linens.

Anakin dropped off a cup of water; Obi-Wan sipped at it hesitantly. Dear force, this was dangerously vivid. It actually felt like a relief in his parched mouth. Clearly his subconscious was pulling out all the stops to trap him in this soft delusion. He would have to deal with the thirst and hunger until he woke up- it was probably the firmest link he had to his real body.

He took one last look around before rushing out of his room, eager to take advantage of the time.

Anakin looked nervously up from the comm when Obi-Wan started pulling his boots on. “You’re not going out in the temple like this, are you?”

“Of course! I want to visit the gardens and the Room of a Thousand Fountains. Not to mention spend some time with a few of the other Jedi. You might still be the dearest being in my heart, but there were other Jedi that I care for, and dammit I’m going to tell them that.” He finally finished lacing up his left leg and moved to the right.

Anakin was dumbstruck, presumably as burnt by the ‘dearest being’ comment as Obi-Wan was. Then he rallied, “Wow, wow, No. You are not running around the temple drugged so you can, I don’t know, give Mace Windu a hug. I thought when you said you were going to ‘deal with the fallout' from whatever the kriff you’re still on, you meant you were going to lounge around the quarters all day!”

His former padawan physically blocked the door when Obi-Wan started to leave, sounding vaguely hysterical, “You can’t run around loopy! You’re a High Council Member!”

“Not anymore,” Obi-Wan replied bitterly.

“What do you mean not anymore,” Anakin said fiercely, grabbing on to his shoulders . “Did they kick you out? Is that why you’re acting crazy? Did you resign?”

Obi-Wan responded by pulling Anakin into a hug, which was immediately returned, “Of course not, don’t be absurd. Fine, I suppose I’m technically still a high council member, it just seems like a bit of a moot point.”

“What the kark does that mean? You used to dream about being on the council! You’re the wisest Master in any of those stupid chairs!”

‘Master of the High Council’ Kenobi just sighed heavily in response. He maneuvered around the confused errant Knight and into the hall.

"Obi-Wan wait! At least eat something first! Or let me put my shoes on!”

“Very well, you have one minute to make yourself presentable. I only have a few hours before I’m going to need to get back to reality, and the longer I linger the more I fear extreme measures may be necessary.”

“What does that mean?” Anakin shouted from inside. “Extreme measures sounds really ominous, you know.”

“I’d rather not get into it, alright? Let’s just enjoy the here-and-now, eh, ad’ika?

Anakin crashed out the door with less than a second to spare. “What did you just call me?"

“Ad’ika,” Obi-Wan answered, striding down the hallway in the direction of the hanging gardens. “Surely you must have picked up some Mando’a from the troopers?”

“Yeah, but I wasn’t sure if I heard you right, bu- um- ori'vod,” Anakin fumbled out. “Uh, you’re not going to call me that in front of anyone else, right? You do remember that the council already gives us the side eye for over-attachment right?”

Obi-Wan hummed thought fully in responded. “There are far worse things a Jedi could do than admit to affection they already feel. Maybe if I had been honest about my attachments, they wouldn’t have ended the way that...” he trailed off quietly.

“The way that what,” Anakin asked frustrated. “You’re really giving me some emotional whiplash over here, and I’m starting to think that putting off dragging you to the healers is a stupid idea.

“There are far stupider things a Jedi could do,” he responded cheerily. “Oh look, there’s Plo Koon. MASTER KOON!” He shouted, startling the Kel Doran Jedi.

“Yes, Master Kenobi?” He replied slightly concerned as the two human Jedi came jogging over.

“I just wanted to say that I consider my former padawan my family. I raised him, I care for him deeply, and I don’t want to let go of those feelings.”

Plo Koon nodded seriously in response. “I feel just the same about my former padawans, and the Wolffe pack, of course. Denying my attachments isn’t, personally, a practical way to handle them. I’d rather honestly live as an imperfect Jedi than pretend to be a perfect example of the code. If I must have some imbalance, I’d rather it be an excess of compassion than a dearth,” he replied earnestly.

“I always admired that about you,” Obi-Wan replied ruefully. “This might be a little odd, but could I have a hug? I hold you in the highest regard and I’ve realized that there are so many Jedi that I never directly expressed my affection for and...”

Plo Koon didn’t wait for Obi-Wan to finish before wrapping his arms around him. “Of course, dear boy. You’ve had such heavy burdens placed on your shoulders during your life, especially in the last few years; it saddens me to see how deeply they’ve weighed you down. If there’s anything I can do to help, in any way, you simply have to ask.”

Obi-Wan sniffled slightly into Plo’s Shoulder while Plo rubbed soothing circles over his back.

A few passing Jedi gave the embracing Masters uncomfortable looks before hurrying on their way. Anakin stood slack-jawed.

When they finally pulled back, Plo Koon hesitated before finally asking, “I don’t mean to pry, but what brought all this on? I can sense much grief from you, even through your impressive shields.”

“It’s a long story,” Obi-Wan replied, wiping at the corner of his eyes. “I’d rather not get into it.”

“He’s high,” Anakin offered bluntly. “He took something last night and won’t go to medical wing.”

“Ah,” Plo said. “Is that true?”

Obi-Wan looked a little embarrassed. “I have the situation under control. My connection with reality might be...slightly altered right now, but my emotions, and what I chose to do with them are my own. I’m just, taking advantage of a unique opportunity to express myself.”

Plo Koon seemed to scrutinize him intensely, “If you’re sure this is what you need, than I support you. Just don’t do anything too foolish.” he finally offered.

Obi-Wan beamed. “I appreciate you saying so, I thought you would be supportive. Farewell, Master Koon”

Obi-Wan offered a respectful bow and then turned to walk away briskly. Before Anakin could follow, Plo rested a claw on his arm.

“Feel free to comm me if his behavior reaches a point where you think he truly needs a healer. I’m happy to help you drag him there if need be. A little cathartic release isn’t in of itself such a bad thing, but if he starts acting too out of control...”

Anakin nodded in acknowledgment, then ran off to see who else Obi-Wan had chosen to throw himself at.

Part Four

#star wars #obi-wan needs a hug #obi-wan gets a hug #star wars au no 27 #suicidal misunderstanding au #my au #time travel #hello there #@whatsup-gorls #and #@im-da-bronx #i googled what a tag list was and was a bit intimidated by the whole big multistep spreadsheet thing sorry #so i will probably not be doing a tag list for the near future #in any reliable sense #but i am very flattered you asked and am psyched you enjoy the story because i am also very excited about it #also to #@rainbowfam100 #i saw your comment and just thought oh no me too #star wars au #sw #fanfiction #i keep wanting to tag this au with angst and then i read it over and its mostly hugs so know that there WILL be angst #but i guess were not really there yet #ive already written a big chunk of angst with only 2 hugs and both of them are very angsty so i feel confident in my prediction

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sfb123 · 3 years

Text

Sapere Aude - Part 13

Book: The Royal Heir

Pairing: King Liam Rys x Queen Riley Brooks

All characters belong to Pixelberry.

Catch Up Here

If you’re new to Sapere Aude, please click the link above to start from the beginning. There’s so much going on right now that you’ll be way too confused to start from this point. Plus, there are some major bombshells that won’t be as fun if you read this and get a bunch of spoilers.

Series Description: I developed a theory of what I think will happen in TRH Book 4, and I was encouraged by some very lovely people to turn my theory into a fic, so here it is. Basically, Riley is recruited to join the Via Imperii, this series will follow her as she joins them to try and bring them down from the inside, and all of the drama and bombshells she learns along the way. Sapere Aude is Latin for “dare to know” it seemed like an appropriate title.

Rating: PG-13 Adult language, discussions of death, conspiracy, blackmail, and other adult themes.

Trigger Warning: There is a brief moment of physical abuse, it’s not much, but I definitely wanted to mention it and give a fair warning.

Warning: The Royal Heir Book 3 Spoilers all over the place.

Disclaimer: I have no current affiliation with any other Via Imperii themed stories. Any claims that I have pre-read anything are false.

Word Count: 2,383

A/N: I know you’ve all been on the edge of your seats wondering what was going to happen, the answer is a lot. This is a pretty big chapter. I hope you enjoy!

Thanks to my pre-reading babes, @jessiembruno & @txemrn. And to @twinkleallnight for my lovely moodboard!

Tags: Listed below, hit me up to be added or removed.

“Um...actually, it’s about the queen. Your majesty, you need to come with me, and we need to send some additional guards along with us.”

Liam’s face paled at Thomas’s words. “Where is my wife, Thomas?” He kept his voice quiet, so that he wouldn’t upset his daughter but his tone was stern and authoritative.

“I believe she is at the old Fierro estate, and time may be of the essence.”

“Li, go. We’re all here, we can take care of Eleanor.” Drake chimed in.

Liam nodded. “Bastien, please send as many guards as you can immediately, and prepare the car for us. Thomas, go with him and tell him everything you know so that we can fill the team in.” Both men bowed and quickly exited the room. Liam walked over to Eleanor, sitting in the chair next to her. “Eleanor, I need to step out and pick up mommy, ok? Your auntie and uncles will be here to play with you until we get back.”

“Can I come with you?” She asked hopefully.

Liam took a deep breath before answering her. “I’m sorry princess, but I need to go by myself. But you have a very important job here. Since Valtoria is your home, you need to host our guests. Being a hostess is something you will need to do a lot when you become queen, so this will be wonderful practice. Do you think you’re up for it?”

She nodded her head rapidly. “Yes daddy, I will be the best hostess!”

“Good. Now go with Uncle Drake, and mommy and I will see you when we get home.” He pulled her into a hug, kissing her cheek as they pulled apart.

Eleanor ran to Drake, taking his hand and pulling him toward the door. “C’mon Uncle Drake, I’m the hostess.” Drake chuckled before looking back at Liam and giving him a reassuring nod.

Liam waited a few moments to make sure that Drake and Eleanor were out of his path before rushing out of the room and toward the front entrance. The car was waiting for him, Bastien holding the back door open for Liam to enter. He jumped in and Bastien shut the door behind him, quickly jumping into the driver's seat. The SUV’s wheels squealed as it rushed toward the gates.

“How far out are the guards?” Liam asked.

“We had a team training not too far from the estate, they should be arriving shortly. They have been briefed.” Bastien replied, looking at Liam through the rearview mirror.

“Excellent. Would someone care to brief me now? Where is my wife?” Liam commanded.

Bastien looked over at Thomas, who was seated next to him. “Thomas, please explain to his majesty the current situation.”

Thomas took a deep breath, his hands nervously balling into fists. “Of course. You see sir, there is an organization, the Via-”

Liam pinched the bridge of his nose, interrupting Thomas. “Thomas, please spare me. I know about the Via Imperii, Riley has been telling me about the meetings, the plans, everything.”

“Everything?” There was a slight crack in Thomas’s voice as he looked back at Liam. If she had told him everything, Liam knew who he was.

“Yes Thomas, everything, including our relationship. Right now, that is the last thing I am concerned with. I need you to tell me what they are doing to Riley, and what we need to do to get her out.”

“Unfortunately, I do not know much. I’m sure you were made aware of the conflict between her majesty and Lord Neville. Well it appears that he and Mara have lured her to the estate under the guise of a meeting with our chapter president. I don’t know what they are planning to do from there.”

Liam’s jaw clenched as he ran a hand through his hair. “Bastien, remind me again why we didn’t dismiss Mara after her charge, the queen, my wife, was kidnapped at our wedding? It seems like grounds for termination to me.”

“She went through a thorough re-training process, and passed all of the associated tests. It was determined that she was able to adequately perform her duties.” Bastien replied.

“Adequate is not acceptable for protecting the life of a Queen. We need exceptional as the bare minimum. She should have never been cleared to return to such a high profile duty. We will be having a meeting immediately to review protocol and standards.” The mixture of concern and rage swirling inside of Liam was becoming overwhelming, he was having trouble thinking straight. He turned to look out the window, taking deep breaths to regain some level of composure.

***

“Since rational discussion is not going to be an option here, I guess we’re going to have to go to plan b, elimination.” Neville said to Mara as they sat across from each other, Riley tied to the chair at the head of the table.

Riley laughed. “Sure, elimination. I bet that will work out great for you. It’s super easy to just make a reigning queen disappear.”

“We have been successful in doing it with two out of the last four queens. What do you think makes you so special?” Neville turned his attention to Riley, genuinely curious to know her reasons.

“Well first of all, Eleanor was in on the plan, so she doesn’t count, so it’s actually one out of four. And second, I’m sure Liam and the rest of the guards, the loyal ones,” she looked poignantly at Mara, “are on their way. I’ve been gone long enough that Liam has definitely already had them ping the location of my phone.”

Mara pulled a phone out of her pocket and waved it in front of Riley with a smug grin on her face. “It has been powered off since I pulled it from your pocket as you were getting into the car.” She placed it on the table and slid it toward Riley.

“Any more smart remarks?” Neville asked, standing from his seat. He approached Riley, taking her face in his hand and leaning in close. “The fairytale is over Riley, and the ending isn’t quite as happy as you thought.”

Riley could feel her nerves starting to take over. Yes, Liam would be missing her right now, but how was he going to find her? She felt her heart rate increase, trying to keep her composure. She had been through this before. For as much as she hated Anton, she had to give him credit, he was much better at this than Neville was. If she could survive that, she could figure out a way out of this.

She thought back to that night at the abandoned castle, she needed to channel that version of herself again. And she certainly couldn’t let Neville know he was getting to her. “What happened? You couldn’t find a woman to kiss you out of being a frog faced asshole? Or you did and it just didn’t work?”

“That’s enough!” the back of Neville’s hand abruptly met with Riley’s face, the force of the impact almost knocking the chair over. She moved her jaw back and forth several times, trying to assess the damage as best she could with her hands tied behind her back. “Mara, do we have anything to gag her with?”

Before she could answer, there was a knock at the door. Neville and Mara looked at each other in confusion, nobody else knew about the plan. “Well?” Neville raised his hands in frustration. “You’re the security guard, go assess the damn threat!”

Mara jumped to her feet and opened the door to find Eleanor on the other side. “Ah Mara, I heard you and Queen Riley had stopped by, I’m so glad I was able to catch you.” She didn’t wait for Mara to respond before brushing past her and entering the room. “Lord Neville, I didn’t know you would be using one of our meeting rooms today. You didn’t clear it through the proper channels. What have we got here?” Eleanor walked straight past Neville and went right to Riley. She took in her appearance, noticing a red mark on her cheek and a small trail of blood running down her face. Her eyes were watering, but she hadn’t shed a single tear. Eleanor was impressed by the strength she was showing under these circumstances. She gave Riley a subtle wink before taking a seat and motioning for Mara and Neville to do the same. “Now, should we talk about where you plan to take things from here, considering you clearly haven’t thought this scheme all the way through?”

“We’re going to do what this organization has done for years, eliminate the threat. Maybe we will be more successful in the king’s next social season, and get a cooperative queen in place.” Neville replied.

Riley took a shaky breath, but the idea of her being taken away from her family was too much for her to bear. The tears she had been holding back broke free, and she began sobbing. Eleanor walked back over to Riley and knelt down in front of her. “It’s alright dear, you aren’t going anywhere.” She placed a comforting hand on her shoulder before standing and turning her attention back to her captors. “Are you insane? Do you have any idea how much time and careful planning goes into enacting an elimination plan? You can’t just decide to kill the queen and expect that everything will go off without a hitch!”

As if on cue, the door burst open and several members of the King’s Guard entered with their weapons drawn. Mara immediately drew her weapon and aimed it at Neville. “Hands in the air, Lord Vancoeur.”

“Drop the weapon Mara.” One of the guards commanded.

Mara continued acting as if she was assisting in the rescue efforts, ignoring the guard’s warning. “I’m glad you guys got here, I was having trouble calling for backup to save the -”

A loud pop filled the room, Riley flinched, keeping her eyes closed for a moment. When she opened them, she saw Mara laying on the ground in a pool of blood as two guards rushed Neville and took him into custody. Two more pulled Eleanor away from Riley and forced her hands behind her back. “Stop!” Riley ordered, causing both guards to look up. “She is not a part of this, she was here rescuing me. Let her go.” The guards complied, and Eleanor went back to Riley’s side, quickly undoing the fastenings that bound her to the chair. As soon as she was free, Riley stood and rubbed each of her wrists before raising a hand to her face, gently placing it on the spot that Neville had hit, and moved her jaw back and forth a couple more times. She looked at Eleanor, her eyes welling up again. “You...you saved me.”

“Of course, dear. I told you I wouldn’t let them take you away from your family.” Riley wrapped her arms around Eleanor and pulled her into a hug. Eleanor could hear her hitched breathing and knew she had begun to cry. “It’s ok Riley, you’re safe now. Let’s go get you cleaned up.”

***

Liam was lost in his thoughts, watching the scenery go by as they neared the estate. The sound of Thomas’s phone ringing took him out of his thoughts. He quickly moved his attention to the front of the car, listening intently to Thomas’s answers to the person on the other end. They were simple, one word answers, and he was unable to read any kind of emotion in his voice. “Well?” Liam said, before Thomas had even fully moved the phone away from his ear. “Is Riley ok?” The seconds it took to get his response felt like an eternity for Liam.

“Yes your majesty, Riley is safe. Lord Vancoeur has been taken into custody, and Mara was killed. Queen Riley is safe and awaiting our arrival.”

Liam breathed a sigh of relief and leaned back in his seat. He was glad she was safe, but he needed to get there. He needed to see it for himself, to hold her, to kiss her. He needed to get her home where he could protect her.

The car pulled up to the front of the estate, and before it could come to a complete stop, Liam had jumped out and ran to the door. He burst into the estate frantically sticking his head into every doorway looking for her. Finally, he approached a large sitting area with a fireplace running, and there she was, silently watching the flames dance. “Riley? Love?”

Riley blinked a couple of times before turning and meeting Liam’s gaze. “Liam…” her voice was barely above a whisper as she slowly stood to greet him.

He rushed to her, immediately pulling her into his arms. He held her tightly as he kissed the top of her head. He pulled back, taking her face in his hands. The pressure of his touch on her still tender cheek made her wince in pain. Liam removed his hands and examined her face. “Riley, who did this to you?” He tried to keep calm, not wanting to cause her any more stress or pain.

“Stupid fucking Neville. I made some frog prince joke and he decided to heckle me with the back of his hand.”

Liam clenched his jaw, and took a deep breath. He would deal with Neville, but for now, he needed to be with his wife. “Riley, I am so sorry that you had to go through this. I should never have let you do this. It could have been so much worse.”

She placed her hand on his cheek, he noticed the marks on her wrist from the restraints, and turned his head to kiss them softly. “But it’s not, because Eleanor, your mother, saved me.”

“My...why would she do that?”

“Because I couldn’t let you lose her.” A lump formed in Liam’s throat at the sound of the voice behind him. He hadn’t heard it in years, but he had never forgotten it. He turned around and as soon as they locked eyes, he felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him. “Hello, Liam.”

Permatag:

@anjanettexcordonia @athena-penrose @bbrandy2002 @chemist-ana @choicesficwriterscreations @choiceskatie @cordonia-gothqueen @cordoniaqueensworld @emkay512 @gabesmommie1130 @gkittylove99 @hopelessromanticmonie @iaminlovewithtrr @jessiembruno @kat-tia801 @khoicesbyk @kingliam2019 @lucy-268 @marshmallowsaremyfavorite @mile9213 @mom2000aggie @pixie88 @queenrileyrose @secretaryunpaid @sweatyrysconnoisseur @tessa-liam @theroyalheirshadowhunter @twinkleallnight @txemrn

Sapere Aude:

@burnsoslow @busywoman @gardeningourmet @ofpixelsandscribbles @tinkie1973

Liam x Riley:

@jared2612

Liam:

@amandablink @yourmajesty09

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sweetchup · 3 years

Text

A Helping Hand 4: Ghosts of Pasts // Day 1

Type: Shalnark x reader

Au?: Savior Au

Word Count: 2,800+

Warnings: Reminsing of last chapter, Injury, Meteor City mentioned

Author Note: Ah! I’m glad to be back writing this series sorry for the long wait. I split chapter 4 up into multiple parts so it’s going to be looooong.

Also, I’ve started a Taglist for all of my series to make it easier for people to find out when the next installation is. So if you want the be added just sent me an ask thats not anonymous and I’ll add you.

<—(Pt.3) / (Pt.4.2)—>

A Helping Hand Masterlist

It was the eve of December 18th, when snow finally fell throughout the Republic of Padokea. However, there was no celebration or cheer by the citizens as all of the festive winter holidays had already passed by then. With most just deciding to bunker in for a quiet night at home. Even at the Hospital near the bloodthirsty Heaven’s Arena it was rather quiet, almost dull in a way.

Though, one specific doctor, Doctor (y/n) of the intensive care unit, had little to complain about the lack of patients and activity. It was rather refreshing actually, mostly due to the fact it was your last night on the job before you went on your week long holiday break, a break you had planned out with your supervisor months ahead of time.

Months before you had met a specific man. Much more specifically, a specific patient named Shalnark Ryuseih. A member of the infamous Phantom troupe who you had saved from his demise at the Heaven’s Arena.

…. As well as someone you might have developed a really really big crush on during your time taking care of him. But, that’s a story for another day and something you shouldn’t be worrying about right now. Especially since you still have plenty of time left on the clock before you go home.

As the seconds click a way, you find yourself letting out a groan. It was no use. You couldn’t get him out of your mind.

You just wished that it was the usual thoughts of Shalnark that festered in your mind during work. The ones that were caused from something as simple as him holding you in his arms tighter than usual while he slept one night or perhaps a teasing comment he shot at you while passing in the hall.

But that sadly wasn’t the case.

For the last couple of weeks, Shalnark had been acting…… weird.

Well he technically always acted weird—a man who actually enjoyed indulging in birthday cake flavored ice cream could not be considered normal in your book— but this time, he was actually acting quite strange.

Sometimes, when doing check ups or just visiting his room you could hear him sigh. It was quite unnoticeable at first, you had just thought he was frustrated with some new tech thing he got into, but as December went on the sigh only got heavier and more frequent. This was also when some of Shalnark’s other actions started to be strange as well, something as simple as,“What are you doing for the Holidays?” Or, actually now that you think about it, anything that was remotely related to the holidays would have the corner of his lips drop slightly. Something very strange for him, for he hardly faltered that smile of his.

And it wasn’t as if you weren’t trying to find out what was wrong. You had asked him plenty of times about his new habits. Though, in a Shalnark fashioned way, he would just brush you off with a grin and be confused as to what you were talking about.

So, if Shalnark isn’t going to tell you himself what was wrong. You were just going to have to take it upon yourself to make him feel better. Emotional health is just as important as physical health in your book.

“For the last time (y/n), I hope you know what you are getting yourself into.” Mal reminds you for the 15th time since you entered her office space.

“Yes, yes. I understand, don't worry about it.” You reassure the older woman as you continue to fill in the blanks to finish up the paperwork. All the while attempting to ignore her as she nags your ear off. “Okay I’m done. Thanks by the way Mal, I really owe you one”

As Mal takes the paperwork from your hands, she gives you one last warning of caution,

“I know Shalnark is under your care and all, and you have gotten pretty close to him during his stay…. but don’t you think having him leave with you for vacation is a little much? It’s legal, for some odd reason, but you should be careful. Not only is he a grown man that could try anything while you are alone with him but if any of the higher ups hear about this, you could get in a lot of trouble.”

“True, but I doubt that,” You hum out as you fumble with grabbing your winter coat off the rack, “The higher ups don’t exactly care much about paperwork unless one of the secretaries, like yourself, reports something. So unless you choose to report me, I don’t have much to worry about.”

“Fine. Just…. be careful. I swear you have been getting more and more reckless the more you spend with that man.”

“I will. Don’t worry, Mal. See you in a week!!”

“Okay, see you in a week.” Mal responds back, her wave goodbye immediately faltering as you close the door. Taking a deep breath to calm down the uneasy feeling in her gut, She just hoped you knew what you were doing.

Once Mal sends you off, you make your way in the direction of Shalnark’s room. You are excited to tell him about your little surprise but also quite scared because you did not exactly ask him… permission…. to sign him out.

“Come in.” Shalnark's voice rings out from behind the door as you knock. Coming into the room, you see that, as per normal, Shalnark was clicking away at his laptop. He seemed busy with something since even when you took the seat at his bedside he couldn’t seem to tear his eyes away from the screen.

After a couple more minutes of listening to the clicking of keys, Shalnark finally closes his laptop and turns his attention to you.

“Hello (y/n)! What brings you in here today?” He asks, resting his chin on one of his hands as he observes you. As Shalnark scans you up and down you can’t help but notice the mischievous look in those blue eyes of his. You kind of wondered what he was thinking, or possibly planning, but then again— knowing Shalnark —you didn’t want to know what was running through that brain of his.

“Can’t I just visit you?”

“I guess you could.” Shalnark comments halfheartedly as if you don’t already visit him for fun on the daily already, “I’m just surprised you haven’t gone home for your vacation. It’s your last shift tonight, right?”

Shalnark might have asked the last part as a question, but you already knew— from tons of experience with dealing with him —that he already formed his own answer in his head.

“Missed me that much huh?...” Shalnark whispers out, his eyes seeming to sparkle under the light as he leans back against the headboard of his bed.

“S-shut up.” You grumble out. Swiftly putting the paperwork in your hand up to your face as you could already feel your cheeks begin to flare up from flusteration. You swore this man had no sense of fear or dignity.

“Hmm?” You feel Shalnark grab at the paperwork wrinkled in your hand; recognizing his photo ID on the cover. “What’s this?”

“Paperwork.”

“What type of Paperwork?” Shalnark presses forward, already taking it from your hand to examine it. No matter how close you two have gotten during his stay, he has always been extremely thorough about looking at what you put down on his paperwork. Must be something he picked up while being in the troupe you guessed.

Suddenly, you see Shalnark’s gaze pause on a section of the paperwork. His body unintentionally freezing up in surprise as he rereads it again. However, instead of instantly asking or explaining his confusion, your eyes are trained to his lips, ever so slightly parted due to confusion.

Unconsciously, you run your fingers over your neck. Your mind flashing back to what happened when Shalnark was under the effect of the aphrodisiac drug. The tingly feeling of his lips raking up and down your neck. Kissing, sucking and biting at any possible skin he could—

“(Y/n), What is this?” He mumbles out, his eyes still trained to the paperwork.

“U-uh Well…” You pause for a second as you try to calm yourself down from your thoughts, thinking about what you should exactly say, “Recently, I’ve noticed you being quite down. Kind of depressed or miserable in a way—”

“Huh? I haven’t been depressed.” Shalnark exclaims, snapping out of the trance he was in as well as cutting off what you were saying.

“Let me finish idiot.” You grumble at Shalnark, flicking his forehead in anger. “Also even if you aren’t depressed—“

“Which I’m not.”

“...Do you want to get punched this time?” You threatened, watching as Shalnark suddenly broke out in a cold sweat. Memories flashing in his head of Lara pissing you off and facing your unwavering wrath. After one last glare, you continued what you were explaining, “As I was saying, Even if you aren’t depressed, it would be good for you to get out of the hospital. Hence why I decided to sign you out for my vacation week.”

It’s silent in the room as Shalnark just stares at you; an unreadable expression on his face. However, before you can figure out what expression it was, he quickly snaps out of it.

“Oh nice. That’s actually awesome.” Shalnark announces out, letting out a small giggle. “Just one question though… Is this even legal?”

“In a way…” You squeak out, watching as Shalnark looks at you with a knowing smile. Clearly understanding that you were pressing the line of legality and a possible felony in this situation.

“Well,” You watch as Shalnark shuffles out of bed; Planting his feet in front of yours before sending you a subtle wink, “Let’s get out of here before we get caught, okay?”

—.—.—.—.—.—

“So,” Shalnark starts, looking at the small white townhouse in front of him, “This is your house?”

“Um. Yeah?” You answer questioningly as you fiddle with your keys, “What about it?”

“Oh nothing.” You watch as Shalnark squats down in front of the garden gnome next to your tomato plant. Seeming to take in the plethora of plants covering your front patio. “It’s cute. I like it.”

“Thanks.” You mumble out bashfully as you unlock the front door, “I only rent the bottom floor of this place so it's quite small. But it's home.”

Before you enter, You offer a hand to help Shalnark up (He still has quite the injury in his legs after all) and watch as he walks inside your house; a limp still ever present as he walks. You just hope that he doesn’t push himself too far while with you. He might be a nen user but—

“Oh wow!” Shalnark’s voice calls out from inside the house, breaking your train of thoughts as you shut and lock the door. Confused yet curious at what he found interesting in your house, you slipped off your shoes—taking a small mental note that you should tell Shalnark to take off his as he forgot to— and walked over to his location. As you round the corner of the hall and gaze into your living room, you can’t help but let out a huff of a laugh. You can’t believe you totally forgot about Chloe.

There she stood, your 8 year old Sphynx cat that a college roommate had given you years ago, curled up in a fluffy blanket on top of her cat tree. Shalnark stood in front of the tree, looking up at the cat with an amused look as it glared down at him.

“Chloe.” You call out to your cat as you make your way next to Shalnark, “Come here baby.”

As you lift the cat off the tower, still wrapped in a blanket, and cradle her in your arms, you feel your breath hitch for a second. You turn your head as you feel a sudden pressure on your back and see Shalnark leaning over your shoulder. You stood there frozen and flustered, unable to move or look away from his face, from how close he was to you. However, Shalnark doesn’t notice how flustered you are; his attention focused on the cat in your arms. Eventually, he brings his hand down to pet her. Watching curiously as she sniffs his hand for a second before allowing him to touch her.

“They truly don’t have any fur…” Shalnark muses out as he rubs at Chloe’s ears, causing you to smile as you feel the rumbling of her purrs against your chest. “Hey (y/n)... did you know these guys are actually from Meteor city?”

“Wait… Really?” You shout out surprised, finally snapping out of the trance you were in.

“Yep!” Shalnark states rather proudly, “They were caused by accidental breeding by abandoned cats in the junkyards. …Though, the ones from Meteor city are quite rabid and terrifying so you can’t pet them like this. They would surely kill you.”

Startled, you give Shalnark a confused look, “No way…You're joking…”

“Nope.” He responds, popping the ‘p’ at the end as he walks away from you two and takes a seat on the couch. Your back suddenly feeling quite cold now that he was no longer next to you. “Even our toughest members like Phinks and Feitan were scared of those things.”

“Oh wow…“ You mumble out in amazement, placing Chloe back at the top level of the cat tree before taking a seat next to Shalnark. “...Meteor City sure sounds scary.”

“Eh, in a way.” Shalnark sighs out, stretching his back before suddenly resting his head on your lap. Startled at the act of affection, you freeze and stare down at him. Your mouth agape in shock. What… What was he doing?

“Oh.” Shalnark murmurs out as he takes note of your expression, already beginning to sit up, “Sorry, I stepped over a line didn’t I—”

“Ah! No!” You shout out, startling the both of you at how loud you were, “I mean… uh. I don’t mind, it just surprised me that’s all.”

“Oh. Okay?” Shalnark says, raising an eyebrow at you. As he sees your still worried expression looking down at him as he lays back down, he decides to flick at your forehead, surprising you. You two stare at each other for a couple of seconds before breaking out into light laughter at your stupid expression.

“W-what was that huh?”

As your laughter eventually stops, leaving you two in a comfortable silence, you stare down at Shalnark; his arms lazily crossed above his head with his eyes shut.

“You know…” You start, a stifle of a giggle sneaking up as a funny thought crosses your mind, “...You remind me of a cat right now.”

“Oh really?” Shalnark huffs out amused, popping one of his eyes open to gaze up at you.

“Yeah. All elongated on the couch, looking like you're about to fall fast asleep… Just like a little kitty cat.” You cooed out at him, taking two strands on the opposite sides of his head to form cat ears.

Shalnark sputters out a laugh before sending you a wink, “Go on. Give me a pet, Doc.”

You feel yourself freeze up as everything that has happened in these last couple of minutes hits you like a truck. Shit… You're his doctor, you idiot. This was what Mal was talking about about you getting too close with him. You have feeling for him but you can’t—

“Hey (y/n). You know…” Shalnark murmurs out, snapping you out of your thought, “One day…, I would like to take you to Meteor City.”

“R-really?” You answered, confused as where this was suddenly coming from.

“Yeah…” You watch as Shalnark eyes shift up towards the ceiling. His eyes unfocused and expression dazed as if he was off in a distant memory, “Not right now… But, In the spring…”

A smile slowly edges its way onto his face.

“Yeah… The spring,” He murmurs out again, sort of to himself, before looking at you, “You wouldn’t believe what it is like in Meteor City at the start of spring, (Y/n)... After a long hard rainy winter, seeds from rotten food, or hidden in garbage, come blooming out. It hardly lasts a month but… It’s gorgeous….”

As he stares up at you with those dazzling blue eyes of his, you can’t help but finally allow your hand to rest in his blonde locks. Wanting to understand more about that far off memory he had.

“I-I…” You murmur out, pausing as a small smile comes upon your face, “I can’t wait… Shal. Do… Do you think you could tell me more about your home while I wait?”

Just…

Just one more time, you’ll let your affections slide.

Allowing yourself to blur the lines of professionalism and wanting more.

Taglist: @meromelodi, @quartetstarheaven, @yumezai, @lvndrhwis, @writtenappreciation , @jojo-sinner, @pastelbear12, @aly-kurta, @bbunnycore, @feifood

#hxh #hunter x hunter #phantom troupe #shalnark #shalnark ryusei #shalnark x reader #a helping hand

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