#sorry she’s asleep in my lap right now and i couldn’t suppress the urge to post her greatest hits!!!

[softerhaze]

this is me if u even care 🎀🐈‍⬛

[smileyjaeminies]

What if there was something more?

Synopsis: A trip with your friends is enough to tip the balance you had between friendship and love. How will you cope with spending every waking moment with someone you’ve been smitten over for years?

Word Count: 9,1 k

Genre: friends to lovers’ au!, angst

Warnings: fighting, cursing, drinking, extreme sports (cliff diving, bungee jumping)

Member: Jungkook, ft. Taehyung and Jennie of BlackPink

A/N: This work was commissioned by a very special person. You walked into my life only recently, and yet I feel like I’ve known you forever. Let’s meet a lot and stay for a long time. Thank you for requesting, I really hope I did your vision justice.

    A small breeze played with your hair as your suitcase rattled behind you. A laugh bubbled from your lips to the sound of Jennie and Jungkook complaining about one thing or the other, your eyes feasting in the beautiful scenery. Did you just call an airport beautiful? Maybe.

  You were elated, finally arrived after a long plane ride to one of your favourite cities in the world: Venice. You were giddy with excitement, ready to explore the city and uncover its secrets with your three best friends.

  “We need to find the bus stop for bus 13” Taehyung announced, juggling a map and a trip advisor in his hands.

  You all looked around, trying to find the correct stop when Jennie announced, “There! Over there!”

  Not waiting for your confirmation, she led the way, stopping only when you arrived at the stop.

  “10 minutes. Great!” Taehyung said as you all settled down.

  You half sat on your suitcase, trying to be patient until the bus arrived. The task was a hard one, for your insides were screaming at the bus to be quick and your leg was bouncing up and down in anticipation.

  “Not a fan of waiting are we?” Jungkook joked, pulling you away from your thoughts.

  “You’re one to talk!” you snapped back.

  The boy threw his head back with laughter, clearly not able to answer back. Indeed, Jungkook was one of the most impatient people you knew. He liked things done his way, quickly and efficiently. He had taken things ‘to fix’ out of your hands more times that you cared to count, from helping you re-decorate your room, to opening beer and water bottles for you.

  “That’s my girl.” He said, messing with your hair.

  You struggled in dismay, calling out for Taehyung’s help. He was quick to come to your rescue, pushing Jungkook off of you and leisurely dropping his arm around your shoulders.

  “I need you all to behave. Jennie, this goes to you to!” Taehyung said sternly.

  “Hey, don’t drag me into their shit! I barely did a thing! Come to think of it, who died to make you leader?” she asked.

  “All the planning me and Y/N did! You both were really no help at all!” Taehyung said, exasperated, pointing an accusing finger to both your friends.

  “Hey, that’s not fair, I was there, I helped!” Jennie said.

  You couldn’t help the chuckle that escaped you, so you had to answer Jennie’s glare with an apologetic look.

  “Jen, you know I love you but the only thing you did that night was eat our stock of chips and salsa and drink soju. Hardly much help” you said, breaking into another fit of laughter.

  This time, the rest of your group joined you, Jungkook even giving Jennie a playful shove.

  “Okay, okay, I admit defeat. And I will behave as long as you all do!” she agreed.

  “Deal!” you said, placing your hand in the middle.

  Your friends soon followed suit, your hands placed one over the other.

  “To a great trip, with great company” Jungkook said.

  The smile on your face grew even more as you broke away, the bus you were waiting for finally arriving. After getting your tickets and taking care of your suitcases, you made yourself comfortable in a narrow seat next to Jennie, who immediately announced she was going to take a nap. She was now laying on top of you as you listened to some music and watched the scenery come and go from outside your window.

  The boys were sleeping too and the bus ride was peaceful, giving you some time to calm your nerves and think. You buried the thought of this being your last one deep in the back of your head. Yes, uni was over, all of you graduated and ready to start ‘real lives’. But that didn’t mean a thing. Right?  

  Soon enough, you realized you were only a few stops away from your destination, so you began waking the others up. Jennie was awake after a little shake and Jungkook was only half asleep in the first place. It took all of your efforts combined to wake Taehyung up, just in time for you to get off the bus.

  Once again, you found yourself with your suitcase in your hand, but this time you were walking through the narrow passages of a city you had been enamored with for years. If you were being honest, you hardly expected your friends to follow you to this trip, but you were glad that they did.

  Taehyung was still acting as your guide, maneuvering through the streets with ease. You followed him blindly, your attention entirely on the beautiful architecture and the busy streets.

  “And if we turn here…” you heard him mumble, followed by a scream that sounded like ‘eureka’

  “We’re here, my little troublemakers!” he announced, leading you to a two-story house.

  “You rented a house?” Jungkook asked, confused.

  “Technically, it’s an Airbnb.” You informed him.

  You knocked on the door, as the house owner should be expecting you inside. Soon enough, a man in his early forties emerged from the inside of the house.

  “Ah, you must be Kim Taehyung” he said, looking at Jungkook who was standing next to you.

  You suppressed a laugh as Jungkook pointed to Taehyung who was standing a little further back.

  “That would be me, sir” he said.

  “Oh, I’m sorry for assuming. Nevertheless, come in, come in, make yourself at home!” he said, almost pushing you inside the house.

  “I am Francesco, and I’m going to leave for you here, keys and my phone number. Call me anytime, for anything, from directions, to restaurant recommendations, to the sink breaking!” he said.

  “Is the sink very likely to break?” Jungkook joked.

  “No, my boy, not at all” his face falling, his hands hanging on his sides in an awkward manner.

  “I was merely joking sir, I’m sorry if I offended you” Jungkook rushed to explain.

  The man seemed to calm down then, regaining his smile as he waved a hand in Jungkook’s direction, his words already forgotten.

  “Please kids, call me Francesco. And let me give you a quick tour of the house while we’re at it!” he urged you on.

  True to his word, he gave you a full tour of the house, even showing you a small nook that worked as a garden. You talked a bit about your plans, and Francesco was very excited to hear about them, even taking a look at your map and giving you advice about which buses to use.

  At this point, you, Tae and Francesco were alone, the other two tucked away in their rooms. Soon enough, he took his leave giving you some recommendations for restaurants and disappearing inside a yellow Fiat.

  You closed the door behind you as Taehyung entered the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of water. He looked at you over his glass as you took a seat spreading the map in front of you.

  “That was some amount of information, huh?” you asked.

  Tae only chuckled, settling down next to you. He glanced at the map, only to set it aside a minute later.

  “We need to get to a convenience store to get some things for our breakfast. Or we just skip breakfasts altogether and eat brunch every day.” He said.

  Another round of planning later, the plan for the following days was crystal clear. You had moved to the couch, Tae’s head laying on your lap as you watched Italian television without subtitles, merely guessing at what was said. Jennie joined you at some point, looking refreshed after a shower. She took the armchair, letting her long legs dangle on its side as she scrolled through her phone.

  A couple of hours passed like that, which made you wonder where Jungkook was. Too curious not to take a look, you left the living room, taking the steps two at a time to reach what would become Jungkook and Taehyung’s shared room. You knocked softly on the door, pushing it open when you heard no sound come from inside.

  Jungkook was sat at a small desk his laptop opened in front of him, his hands typing furiously across the keyboard. Your face fell, your heart dropping inside your chest at the sight.

  “Kook. We said no work on the trip” you said, your voice small.

  He turned to look at you like a deer at headlights, his hands dropping flat on the desk. He was caught at the act and there was no escaping it.

  “You promised.��� You said again.

  “It’s just… Just a few emails I swear, nothing else, I just didn’t want them to pile up-” he was saying, but you’d heard enough.

  You shook your head, leaving the room without bothering closing the door. You rushed to hide inside your own room, catching a glance of Jungkook coming behind you and slamming the door. You sat on your bed, your chest moving rapidly as you tried to get your thoughts in order.

  Jungkook had become somewhat of a workaholic in the last few months. You knew his job was really important to him, even more important that after graduation, he was promised a promotion. You were proud of him of course, happy he had achieved his goals. But it all came with a price.

  He had become withdrawn, standoffish, his texts getting shorter and shorter. He barely had time for any of you, your hangouts getting scarce and even Taehyung who he lived with, only saw him for a few minutes at a time. There was always something to do or something going on, somewhere to be or a deadline to meet.

  It took every bit of effort from all of you to convince him to come to the trip with a single condition. No. Work. Yet there he was, hiding in his room and answering emails on the very first day. Was it that hard for him to have some time for you?

  Your train of thought was cut short as you felt weight being placed on the small bed. You kept your eyes closed, knowing who it was by the soft smell of mint that graced the air.

  “I’m sorry” he said, keeping his voice low.

  You gave no reply, hoping that ignoring him would send your message loud and clear: you were disappointed. He settled in the silence, lying next to you without really touching you.

  “Y/N, please. I said I’m sorry” he tried again.

  You were determined to ignore him until he provided with a better explanation. The hand over your head helped you, because you were sure that with one glance at him, you’d break.

  That’s how it always was with Jungkook. A sorry, some puppy dog eyes and a big hug was all it took for your anger to evaporate. But not this time. This time you would prevail.

  “Look, I know I fucked up. Just please, don’t give me the silent treatment. Let’s talk about this.” He said, placing his hand over your arm to bring it away from your face.

  You let him, dropping your hand on your side and looking at him.

  “I want your laptop” you spoke up.

  “My laptop?” he asked, perplexed.

  “Yes. You’re going to give it to me and I’m going to keep it for the rest of the trip.” You stated.

  Jungkook turned to the ceiling and you could almost see the gears inside his head turning.

  “Okay. But we won’t say anything to the others.” He said.

  You gave it some thought, then nodded at his request. You looked at the clock that sat on your bedside table, only to realize it was almost 8 o’clock.

  “Let’s go, it’s dinner time!” you announced, pulling Jungkook off your bed.

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   Ah... Yes. This is it. You thought as you floated on the water’s surface. How could you describe this feeling? How could you put in words the relaxation and tranquility the sea brought you? You allowed it to do all the work for you, the buoyancy of the water carrying your body and letting it float. Half of your head was still submerged, your ears blocking out all sounds but your breathing. You concentrated on it, your eyes fluttering closed as you felt your muscles releasing the tension they were holding.

  You had spent the last few days exploring the city, visiting museums and galleries, archeological sites and buildings. Jungkook’s laptop was safely hidden in the drawer you kept your lingerie and you hoped he hadn’t looked for it. Today was beach day, a day Jennie made you snuggle in the perfect schedule you and Tae constructed because “you needed relaxation”.

  If you were being honest, she wasn’t exactly wrong. Although your heart leaped every time you explored the city or visited a gallery, your feet ached, getting overworked. So beach day it was, and now you were more grateful to Jennie than you’d ever been.

  You sighed, your mind throwing away needless thoughts as you enjoyed the feeling of the waves running under you, in between your fingers and your toes. You felt your hair float behind you, forming somewhat of a halo around you.

  The relaxation was broken as you heard your name urgently called out. Your eyes flew open, only to shut tightly the next second as a huge weight was pushed on your stomach, dragging you down in the water. Your breath hitched, causing you to shallow some water. Your lungs were burning, your body going on overdrive as you swam to the surface.

  You greedily swallowed breaths of air, coughing and spitting water. A pair of hands were holding you up, as you struggled to compose yourself. You felt dizzy, trying to keep breathing evenly to calm yourself down. When your breathing came back to normal, you realized Jungkook was the one holding you, your own hands safely clasped around his neck. He and Taehyung were laughing, which helped you connect the dots in your head.

  “What the fuck?” you screamed at them.

  “The idiots jumped us!” Jennie screamed, exasperated.

  You pushed Jungkook away from you the best you could, angrily throwing some water in his face. The boys were still laughing when you started swimming towards the shore. You were mad, their little joke causing every breath you took come out labored and your insides to burn.

  You got out of the water, finding the sunbed on which you had left your things and draping your body across it. You fished around your bag, looking for your water. You gulped it down hungrily, which helped ease down the pain inside you and offer you some comfort. Laying back you closed your eyes, trying to control your anger. It was just a joke, right?

  You heard Jennie plop down on the sunbed next to yours, soon followed by the muffled chuckles of the boys. You pondered throwing them an angry glance, but ultimately decided against it. There was no use in pouring oil in the fire.

  “I’m so done” you heard Jennie mumble next to you.

  You agreed with a hum, putting on your sunglasses and trying to forget what happened. The boys settled down next to you, talking animatedly between themselves as you and Jennie soaked up the sun.

  Minutes passed and you were suddenly aware that someone was blocking the sun. You opened your eyes, turning to find the culprit only to realize it was Jungkook.

  “Can I help you?” you asked with an attitude.

  He took a seat on the sand next to you, his face obnoxiously close to yours as he studied you without speaking.

  “You’re mad” he stated.

  You scoffed, turning on your back and burying your head between your arms.

  “Hey” he said, pulling at your arm for your eyes to meet his. “I’m sorry”

  You suppressed the urge to laugh at his face. He was awfully sorry these days, wasn’t he? At the same time, you decided to let your anger go. This was your last chance, your last trip, few stolen days before you had to return what had become your realities.

  “Whatever” you said with a smile. “You’re blocking the sun, Jeon. Get out”

  Jungkook graced you with a toothy grin before pulling you on your feet. With one swift movement, you were draped across his shoulders and you were running towards the water. You squealed and struggled against him which didn’t seem to faze him, his strides sure as he flung you into the water.

  This time you were prepared, so you held your breath, your burning body gladly meeting the water. A mischievous grin grew on your lips as you swam to the surface. Jungkook was laughing and you were too, now able to stand in the water. You walked over to him only to find him in a moment of vulnerability, his eyes closed as he laughed. Your movements were quick, pulling him in the water with you, submerging his head and keeping it in.

  At that moment, Taehyung surprised you, pulling you away from Jungkook and throwing you some feet away. You were giggling as you fought playfully, Jennie not taking too long to join in the water fight.

   You were still laughing loudly when you existed the water, completely exhausted.

  “God, my stomach hurts, that was a workout” you whined.

  “That’s because you’re weak” Taehyung joked.

  You gave him a hard shove, which made him stumble on the sand. Another round of laughter found you cleaning up in the beach’s showers as you all piled in the Mini Cooper Jungkook had insisted on renting for the trip.

  Finally back in your little home, you each took turns to properly shower as you and Jennie fought over what to get for dinner. Ready for a night out and about, you decided to ditch the car and walk to a restaurant Jennie had found on Craigslist.

  The night was filled with the sounds of your laughter as the conversation led to all of you reciting stories of your childhood. As you were leaving the restaurant, none of you felt quite ready for the night to be over.

  So, you stumbled across the streets of the city, looking for an establishment fit for the occasion. Soon enough, you came across a decent looking club that wasn’t packed with people. It seemed like the best combination.

  You and Jennie made straight for the small dance floor as the boys brought drinks. Taehyung handed you your drink, twirling you once around yourself for good measure. Talk subsided due to the loud music blasting over your heads but you stuck together, dancing and drinking the night away.

  Ready for another round, you broke away from the group, finding a comfortable seat on the bar and waiting for the bartender to notice you. You were placing your order when you felt someone stand next to you.

  He ordered something in Italian, turning to grace you with a smile. The man seemed to be around your age, tan and, admittedly, very handsome. You returned the smile and he asked you something in Italian.

  “Oh, I’m sorry, I don’t speak the language” you told him.

  “No? I could’ve sworn you were born and raised in Milan? Italian blood runs in you, ragazza” he said.

  “Maybe I do have some Italian blood after all! I do love the country, we’ve been here for a couple of days already and I don’t think I’ll ever be ready to leave.” You told him.

  “We, you say. Travelling with family? Or a special someone?” he asked.

  You smiled at his question, clearly aware of his intentions. “Neither. Just friends”

  As if on cue, you saw Jungkook walking up to you. You smiled at him, momentarily not hearing what the man was telling you, your attention on him. His gaze was closed off, his steps sure but urgent as came to stand next to you, one hand circling around your waist in place of a greeting. You felt yourself gravitate to him as you often did, getting comfortable under his arms, the feeling of his chest moving up and down as he breathed, huffs of air fanning your hair relaxing to you.

  “The friend I was telling you about” you said to the man, motioning at Jungkook with your head.

   At that moment, the bartender returned with your drinks. You looked up at Jungkook, who looked as if he was about to start shouting.

  “Kook, you okay?” you asked in a low voice.

  “I will be once we get out of here” he told you.

   You nodded at him, waving a little as a goodbye to the man you chatted with. Instead of joining the others like you expected, Jungkook led you to a corner of the bar. The music was still very loud, but it allowed for some small talk. He pressed himself on you in a way he had never done before and you tried not to think about the goose bumps that raised on your skin.

  “Why him?” he asked.

  “What are you talking about?” you answered with a question of your own.

  “I don’t want you looking at other men like that” he said.

  “You’re being ridiculous” you said, shaking your head and trying to push him off of you.

  You reply didn’t sit well with him, for he pulled you back in your previous position. Your back hit the wall with force, almost knocking the wind out of you. You shot him an incredulous look but his mind was too preoccupied to register it.

  “I don’t want you looking at other men like that” he repeated. “Only me”

  His words made your breath hitch at your throat and you felt like a ton of ice cold water had been thrown over your head. Your eyes shifted between his, as your mind struggled to register his words.  

  “I’ve always, always been here and you…” he said, making your heart leap at your throat.

  “Jungkook, what are you saying?” you said, regaining your voice.

  The music, lights and people were making everything too much for you to process. His eyes were set on yours in a way that showed you he truly meant his words. You were about to speak up, when the words died at your lips.

   “Here you are! I’ve been looking everywhere for you” Jennie announced, giving an end to the staring contest between you and Jungkook by pushing him off of you and linking your arm with hers.

  “Tae is just paying the bill. Time to get back!” she said, smiley as ever, leading you to the exit.  

  On your way back, you stuck close to Jennie, letting her do all the talking as you brushed her off as just being tired. Your mind was hazy, your thoughts running wild at the sheer possibility that Jungkook could be…

  Then again, would it be so absurd if Jungkook were in fact in love with you? You were close, closer than you’d been with a boy before and there had been several instances where, if you didn’t know better…

  But did you know any better? All the time you were walking with Jennie, you registered the boys walking a few steps behind you, just out of earshot, talking in hushed voices. You had to gather all your courage to glance back at them. You were met with Taehyung’s moving look, alternating between you and Jungkook. Something seemed to stir in him when he caught you staring, making all his attention turn to the boy next to him as he started talking quickly.

  Well aware of the big plans in store for you the next day, you played your ‘I’m tired’ card once again, hiding under your covers. However, sleep didn’t agree with you as you tossed and turned for hours. At the same time, you were aware that the boys were still downstairs, safely away from hearing distance.

  Your thoughts were running, and every time you felt yourself relax, sleep run away from your grasp once more. Your muscles were tense as your hands came to rub at your face again and again. You tried to get rid of your thoughts, longing for sleep but alas, it stood far out of reach. It was only when you tried timing your breaths in time with Jennie’s some hour in the night that you finally felt yourself drift away into dreamland.

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  A hand was shaking you awake, a voice screaming over your head. Your eyes flew open, only to find Taehyung’s face hovering over yours. Once he realized you were awake, he wasted no time to shower your face with kisses, from your head, to your forehead, your cheeks and your nose.

  You giggled under his ministrations, hearing Jennie gag in the bed next to yours.

  “No matter what you do, you aren’t getting out of this. We’re bungee jumping today, Tae” you told him, your voice still groggy from sleep.

  “How dare you think that I, Kim Taehyung, would even dream of missing this one in a lifetime experience with my best friends??” he asked, throwing a hand over his heart, as if to show how your words hurt him.

  You laughed at his antics, pushing him to the other end of the bed so you could get up.

  “You fear of heights did! Now, coffee!” you announced, pulling on some flip flops and rushing to the kitchen.

  As you entered the room, you felt your smile falter. Your eyes met with his, making you quickly look away, your hands finding solace in the coffee pot as you looked for a mug.

  “Good morning” he said behind your back.

  You mumbled an answer, your heart beating fast, your back still turned to him as you looked for something to eat to mask your awkwardness. You brought the bowl of cereal to the table, screaming telepathically to Jennie to make her way downstairs quickly.

  “Rough night? You look like you didn’t sleep well” Jungkook tried to strike up conversation.

  You decided to let him. It’s not like you’ll be able to hide from him for long.

  “It’s just the way Taehyung woke me up. Once I get my dose of caffeine and I’ll be ready to go!” you said.

  “Oh. I thought…” he said, his voice trailing off.

  “Jungkook? What is it?” you tried to get his attention back to you, for his mind seemed to be elsewhere.

  “I think we need to talk. When we get back from today” he said finally.

  “If Tae doesn’t die on us, sure” you said, trying to joke.

  His expression didn’t falter and you were almost intimidated by the serious look on his face. Your body moved on its own accord, your hands moving to place themselves over his own.

  “Hey. We’re okay. We are going to talk soon” you told him.

  You offered a reassuring squeeze, which seemed to help him snap back. He intertwined his fingers with yours, a small smile growing on his face. After a few moments, he got up.

  “I’m going to get dressed. See you in a few” he said, placing a small peck on the top of your head as he left the room.

  Your heart did summersaults in your chest as you struggled to keep your expression neutral. The smile on your lips was evident however when Jennie entered the room. She didn’t openly question it, only looked at you weird, raising her eyebrows.

  You wrapped up breakfast quickly, keen to be on the road sooner rather than later. You piled in the small car once again, Jennie working as shotgun and, consequently, designated DJ. Your job in the back was to comfort Taehyung, hold his hand and assure him that everything would turn out okay.

  Arrived at your destination, you felt Taehyung stick to your side as Jennie slowly came closer and closer to you. One look was all it took for you to communicate to Jungkook that he needed to check you in while you took care of your friends.

  Taehyung was trembling and Jennie seemed to regret her breakfast as an instructor led you to a side room to help you put on your gear and give you the necessary instructions. When you were all set, you agreed that you’d jump one at a time, Jungkook first, followed by you, Jennie and lastly Taehyung.

 You stepped out to the platform for the first time and you were almost taken aback by how beautiful the scenery was. A small river, (a creek?) was flowing under you as rocks fought to overcome trees, causing the scenery to be mixed.

  “How are you not scared?” Jennie asked you.

  “Who said I’m not? I just really want to do this with you” you told her, emphasizing your words.

  She took in your words, nodding a little as you all gravitated closer to each other. There weren’t a lot of people around, but because it wasn’t your turn yet you didn’t want to be in anyone’s way.

  In front of you was a couple, who was talking with the instructor in a lively way, evidently very excited for their jump. You watched as they hugged each other, the instructor tying them up in the correct position. 3, 2, 1… And they were off, dangling upside down over the valley.

  Two voices sounded at once as your eyes found Jungkook’s. You really thought in the same way, huh. You chuckled, Jungkook answering with one of his toothy grins.

  “Excuse me”, you asked your instructor, “Could it be possible that we do that, after we finish our individual jumps?”

  “Two pairs then?” she asked.

  “No!” all four of you said in unison.

  The instructor laughed at that, weighing you up.

  “Then my guess is you along with the first jumper?” she asked.

  “That would be me, and yes, that’s right” Jungkook said, coming to stand next to you.

  She nodded, taking a quick look at the schedule in her hands.

  “Well, seems like today isn’t too busy, we’ll be able to fit you in.” she told you.

  You jumped in excitement, you and Jungkook high-fiving in victory. You thanked the instructor, only for her to inform you that it was already your turn.

  Jungkook eagerly stepped up, almost bouncing on his feet as the instructor started tying him up to the wires. They exchanged a few words and Jungkook turned to wave at you, even giving you a thumbs up. Your phone ready in hand, you zoomed in his face as he smiled at you before jumping.

  You heard his cries, reaching frequencies you didn’t know he could as you laughed away from the microphone, recording his fall. The wires were raising him back up when you were called to the edge of the platform.

  Nerves started kicking in as you handed the phone to Jennie. You pushed it all away, plastering a huge smile on your lips, disregarding your trembling hands. Your heart was beating at your throat as you half registered the instructor’s words and directions.

  “Smile at your friends and then get ready” he told you.

  You turned around, finding Jungkook had rejoined the others. You waved, mouthing ‘I’m shaking’ to Jennie who just shook her head.

  “Don’t be scared, it’s amazing!” Jungkook urged you on, giving you the courage you needed to turn around.

  “Countdown with me, okay?” the instructor asked and you nodded.

  1, 2, 3. You were flying. Your pose was bad, you were screaming without even realizing, but you were flying, cutting through the air into complete emptiness. Your heart still beat rapidly as they were pulling you up. You enjoyed the view, nature running wild around you.

  Your feet wobbled when they placed you back on the platform. The adrenaline rush was slowly but surely fading and you didn’t know if you had it in you to stand up. Your eyes met with Jennie’s terrified stare, making you get up and walk up to the others, never breaking eye contact with her.

 “You can do it! I know you can! Just jump!” you urged her on.

 Jennie gave on curt nod, before stepping out into the void. She screamed with all her might, cursing at you and Jungkook as she fell, still half screaming as she was pulled up.

  In an instant, your arms were around Taehyung’s neck, whispering soft words of encouragement in his ear. Jungkook was softly massaging his shoulders, throwing his own two cents in and urging him on. He reluctantly walked over to the edge of the platform, talked to the instructor, watching closely as every piece of wire was being attached to his body.

  “This is safe right? I can do this?” you heard him ask.

  “Tae, you’ve got this!” Jungkook urged him on from beside you.

  Jennie joined you, whispering how much she hated you, but still offering her support to Taehyung.

  “We’re a set deal, Tae! If I did it, you can do it!”

  The countdown was quick and Taehyung was screaming to the top of his lungs. You laughed at his fall, still screaming and babbling all the way down. You were ready to collapse on the bench, when Jungkook took hold of your hand.

  “You ready for round two?” he asked, eyebrows moving up and down.

  “Oh my god, yes!” you almost screamed, repressing the need to jump up and down.

  You were called onto the edge, given a set of new instructions as you were told to hug Jungkook tightly at the waist as he did the same, your eyes barely able to look over his shoulder, his head resting easily on yours. When you were all tied up, all that was left for you was the countdown.

 1, 2, 3… And you were flying again. You screamed in Jungkook’s ear as he did the same to you, holding him tighter and tighter. You barely had time to look at the scenery, burying your face in the crook of his neck, feeling borderline terrified. He whispered soothing words in your ear, kissing the side of your head and telling you how good a job you’d managed.

  Safely set on the platform, you felt a few tears escape your eyes as Jungkook held you. You wiped away your tears, laughing softly at your random reaction.

 “I’m just so happy” you whispered, only for him to hear.

  He patted your head, running a hand softly through your hair.

  “You make me so happy, Y/N, you really do. Thank you for doing this with me.” He whispered in your ear.

  You just then realized how close you were. With one small motion, your lips would be on his. Your noses were brushing as you tried to control your breathing, stopping your tears for good.

  “Let’s go back to the others, okay?” Jungkook asked.

  You nodded and he was quick to help you to your feet, guiding you to the others. Your arms wrapped around Taehyung’s torso as you gushed over how brave he’d been. Somehow, the hug turned to a group hug, as Jennie snuggled to your side, Jungkook on her other side.

  Your heart felt like it couldn’t take any more, such a roller coaster of emotions and so much happiness seeming unreal to you. You savored it, hoping your heart could remain strong for a little while longer, even if it had to crash at the end.

-------------------------------------------------------

  After your big bungee jumping excursion, you knew that you all needed a big meal to fill you up. Jennie once again served as your provider, leading you to a beautiful sea-side restaurant.

 With stomachs full of food and hearts lighter than ever, you returned to your home, leaving the afternoon free for all of you. You ultimately decided to watch a movie, which you abandoned only halfway through, with Jennie and Jungkook drifting off to sleep.

  You excused yourself, walking outside to the small nook Francesco had showed you on your first day there, book in hand. Slowly, the sun set over the horizon, light getting scarce and making you set your book aside. You half drifted off, your mind replaying the events of the past few days.

  You enjoyed the quiet, needing some time to yourself to recharge after being stuck to the hip with the others for so long.

  Soon enough, you heard someone making their way over to you. You could tell it was Taehyung, his bare feet making no sound as he walked over to you.

  He laid beside you with a small groan falling from his lips. Once he was next to you, he sighed in contention, making you mirror his actions. He got comfortable against you, your hips and legs touching in a way that was intimate but not too overbearing.

  It was easy. Almost too easy. But then again, everything with Tae was easy. Smiles and laughs, tears and weakness, blurting out your deepest fears or your most precious secrets. You trusted him and he trusted you. Your dynamics were easy, like a river flowing through a valley.

  “Do you know any constellations?” you asked out of the blue.

  He took a few moments to reply, making you turn to face his side profile. His eyes were moving frantically, taking in the clear night sky as your thoughts drifted, thinking how easier it would be if you were in love with him instead.

  Only you weren’t.

  “Someone once told me the night is dark and full of terrors” he said.

  “Kim Taehyung, did you just quote ‘Game of Thrones’ at me?” you asked, laughter bubbling from your chest.

  The popular show had been a bone of contention between your group for a long time, with you and Jungkook totally enamored by it and Taehyung and Jennie cursing it for becoming so mainstream. But it seems, after many years you’d at least gotten Tae to come around. Interesting.

  “Maybe I did… Nothing you can do about it now.” He said, playfully pinching your side, making you squirm and laugh some more. “But seriously, how can you tell them apart? They are just dots” he asked.

  A chuckle fell from your lips as you shook your head,

  “Oh Tae… Let me show you” you said.

  You outstretched your hand to the sky, pointing at the Big Dipper.

  “There’s one. Imagine a parallelogram…”you were saying, when he cut you off.

  “English, Y/N”

  “Oh, come on you little baby, you know what it is! It’s like a table” you said, waiting for his nod of confirmation before outlining the constellation with your hand. “You see it? Over there?”

  “I think so. Should I try to show it?” he asked, making you nod.

  His hand outstretched before you, showing the body of the Big Dipper.

  “That’s good Taehyung, good job!” you encouraged him “Now imagine the tail of a kite following it. You see it? Like that?”

  “I see it! Wow, that’s actually really pretty” he admitted.

  Your reply came at the form of a nod, as your eyes skimmed over various other constellations you recognized.

  “These are different from the ones back home. Before you leave, I’m going to take you stargazing again. I bet you’ll love them.” You promised.

  “Is it really me you want to stargaze with?” Taehyung asked you.

  Your head turned at his words, only to find him already looking at you. His arm was rested under his head, supporting him in a more upright position as his gaze was open, inviting you in, almost like saying ‘Talk to me. I’m here to listen’. You rolled to your side, your own hand resting under your head as you tried to come up with an answer.

  “I just think you guys should talk. Openly. Like grownups. Lay it all out in the open and go from there.” He said, shrugging his shoulders a little.

  “It’s not that simple” you tried to explain.

  “It can’t be harder than that. Opening up is the hardest part. It’s like tearing your heart out of your chest and laying it in front of the other to stomp on.” He said

  “Exactly. There are so many reasons why we should just brush last night off. It’ll be easier that way” you said

  “And when was anything about you guys ever easy? I just… I don’t get it. You’ve been tip toeing around each other for years and now that you finally have your chance…” his voice trailed off.

  “Maybe we missed our timing. Or we weren’t meant to be in the first place. Everything is going to change from now on… Maybe this will be the last thing that will stay the same.” You said.

  “But that’s exactly my point. Everything will be different from now on. So why not you too?” he asked,

  You rolled back to your back, not baring to hold Taehyung’s gaze any longer. The worst thing was he had a point, and you were out of excuses. You heard him sigh next to you, but your thoughts were running too fast to understand the meaning behind his sigh.

  “You know” he said, snapping you away from your thoughts “I’ve been stuck somewhere in the middle between you too for so long. For a time, it was crystal clear to me that you both felt something more. So when Jungkook came to me… I immediately told him that he should confess. But the idiot didn’t want to ‘ruin what you have’. Love is the same. Be it romantic, platonic, parental. It takes time, work, effort and two people who are in it together. It’s not some flick of a switch, you don’t wake up one day and realize you love someone. The feeling grows and grows until there’s no more to grow and then it grows some more. What I’m trying to say is, you aren’t breaking or making anything. You are simply recognizing what was always there” he finished.

  You allowed his words to sink in for a minute, really trying to absorb them.

  “When did you get so wise?” you asked,

  “Wise? I don’t know about that. I just know you. Both of you.” He said simply.

  “It’s not like I don’t want to talk to him. Or that I don’t love him. It’s just…” you said, looking for the words.

  “Let’s say that Jen and I are out of the equation. It’s just you and him. Would you talk then?” he asked you.

  “Of course! But we’ll have to wait until we get back home for that” you said.

  “Not necessarily” he answered, already getting on his feet.

   “Where are you going?” you asked him.

   “Don’t move! Just, wait here!” he told you.

   You did as you were told, lying back to face the sky, your thoughts drifting away, your head emptying out. You didn’t know how long it had been when Jungkook’s voice snapped you away from your thoughts.

  “Hey” was all he said, yet your heart picked up its pace.

  He was leaning on the door with one hand, his other was placed in the pocket of his jeans. His hair was a small mess, making you want to run your hands through it.

  “Hi” you answered simply.

  “Let’s go.” He said, motioning with his head towards the door.

  “Go? Go where?” You asked.

  “Don’t you trust me?” he asked you, smirking.

  You scoffed, your gaze finding the sky again. Nevertheless, you sat up, getting to your feet and dusting away your clothes. Jungkook watched you without saying a word, turning for the door when he realized you were ready to go.

  You saw him pick out the car keys as he led you wordlessly out of the door. You settled in the car in comfortable silence as Jungkook picked out a playlist and began to drive.

  “Do you even know where we’re going?” you broke the silence.

  Jungkook glanced at you briefly, trying to keep his eyes on the road. That gave you the chance to study his side profile as he drove, face set, arms tightly holding at the steering wheel.

  “I thought you trusted me” he said.

  “I never said that” you told him.

  “And yet you came” he said, almost snapping back at you.

  “And yet I came” you said, more so to yourself than Jungkook.

  The car ride continued in silence, music flowing through the speakers, without you paying much attention to it. You noticed that you were driving away from the city, the scenery turning from cute houses, one next to the other to green grass and crops, stacked neatly row after row.

  “We’re here” Jungkook announced, pulling up to the side of the road.

  “This is the middle of nowhere” you said, shocked to see him get out of the car.

  “Exactly. Are you coming or not?” he asked, shutting the door behind him.

  You got out of the car in a hurry, more scared to stay alone in the side of the road than follow Jungkook. You had to trust him. You walked next to him, but he paid you no mind, crossing the street with you hot on his heels.

  On the opposite side of the road, was the sea, magnificent and angry, the wind making it crash on the rocks as if it was punishing them. It was lit pretty well by the headlights of the road, helping you see almost to the bottom of the cliff. Jungkook sat on the ground, making you mirror his movements.

  “Is this a good enough place to talk?” Jungkook asked timidly.

  Realization hit you, making you look around once more. You appreciated the view a hundred times over, making you look back at him with a smile growing on your face.

  “Sure it is” you told him.

  Jungkook sighed deeply, as if he had been holding his breath the whole time it took you to answer. The thought make you want to hug him, but you suppressed your urge. Now was not the time.

  “You want to go first or..?” you asked, fearing the silence for the first time.

  “I don’t think I’d know where to start. Tae said to just talk to you but… I don’t know how to talk to you about this” he said, his face hidden slightly as he looked down, keeping his hands busy by plucking grass out of the ground.

  You took a deep breath, trying to collect your thoughts before speaking.

  “I… I heard what you said last night. And you’re right, you know. I don’t want to look at other men like that. Taehyung told me that we’ve been tip-toeing around each other for too long and he’s right too. Ever since that night when Jimin left, I… Kook, I’m pouring my heart out here, can’t you at least look at me?” you asked.

  The weight of his gaze made you regret your words. He looked at you intensely, waiting for your next words, his eyes peering into yours. It took everything in you not to crash onto his body right then and there.

  “When Jimin left and we almost… I just can’t get that night out of my head. And I didn’t… I never thought you felt the same way after how that night played out so I-” you were saying, when he cut you off.

  “I always think about that night. But, Y/N you have to understand, I couldn’t. I could never take advantage of you like that, no matter how much I wanted you.” He said.

  “But you’d said…” you tried to tell him, only for him to snap at you.

  “I said what I said that night… To make myself believe it.” He admitted.

  Memories of the pain in your chest as you clung onto Jungkook resurface and you have to push them down. It’s no help remembering the past. Tonight, it’s about the future.

  “It’s always been you. All the girls I was with on and off, they mean absolutely nothing. They were distractions, ways to fool myself that I wasn’t hopelessly in love with you. But I am. And I don’t regret it. I only ever regret not telling you before” he said.

  At last; it had been said. Your bodies collided without you even knowing how or when, your lips finding his in a crazy and passionate kiss. You were tangled together, a mess of limps and bodies as everything faded away, leaving only the two of you.

  Jungkook was the one to pull away first, breathing heavily and connecting his forehead to yours. Your eyes remained closed, your mind trying to remember everything, from the sound of the waves under you to his hands, safely holding onto your hips and the feeling of his hair under your fingertips.

  “Do you trust me?” he asked for a second time that night.

  “You know I do” you told him.

  He pulled you both on your feet, bringing you closer to the edge of the small cliff you were standing on. You looked over the edge, the view almost taking your breath away as the sea spread out for miles on end, only to meet with the tip of the skyline.

  “Now we jump” Jungkook said.

  “Wait, what?” you screamed.

  But Jungkook only smirked at your words, counting down without a second thought. Your head was reeling, questions that would be left unanswered asking themselves one after the other. Is this safe? What if there are rocks in the bottom? We’re going to die, fuck we’re going to crash.

  You jumped, holding onto his hand for dear life as you felt yourself fall. You hit the water’s surface hard, making your muscles ache. Somewhere in the fall, you’d lost Jungkook’s hand, so you swam quickly to the surface to find him.

  He was struggling with the waves, looking for you, the wind and insufficient light not helping him in his endeavors. When he saw you come up, he swam over to you, putting his arms around you immediately.

  “That was so fun!” he said.

  “That was terrifyingly fun, yes” you agreed.

  Jungkook laughed, peppering kisses all over your face, his lips finding yours again. His lips tasted salty and you could taste the sea water on them. You were holding onto each other tightly, the sea raging around you, your feet kicking to keep you afloat, as close to each other as possible. When his hands started trailing under your soaking wet shirt, you quickly broke the kiss, not ready to get lost in it, especially under these circumstances.

  “Jungkook. We should get out” you told him.

  He nodded, leading the way over to a makeshift staircase that led you back to the top. Water was dripping everywhere, from your clothes to your hair, making shivers run up and down your spine. Jungkook entwined his fingers with yours, leading you back to the car. There, he wrapped you around in towels, snuggling next to you to share his body heat with you.

  You kissed him again, this time leisurely, taking your time, savoring the feeling. The kisses were experimental, slow enough to have you whining against him. He heard you loud and clear, deepening the kiss, his hands trailing up and down your back.

  Your moment was broken by Jungkook’s obnoxious ringtone, making you both jump. He groaned, his face falling to the crook of your neck, leaving kisses in its wake.

  “Kook. We should get that” you told him.

  “Fine.” He mumbled angrily.

  He looked around for his phone, answering it quickly and walking a few steps away from you for some privacy. You heard only bits and pieces of the conversation, so you didn’t quite understand what was being said. Slowly, you felt your eyes flutter closed, your head spinning, thoughts running. You were so happy, so unbelievably happy, you could’ve jumped off the cliff again.

  With one eye open, you saw Jungkook making his way back to you after he finished his call.

  “Let’s go back” he told you softly.

  You hummed at his words, jumping down from the front of the car and getting into the passenger seat. Jungkook settled in the driver’s seat, starting the car and driving off.

  “Who was it? On the phone?” you asked.

  “Taehyung, who else? The little snitch told Jen and she screamed that we were going to die if we jumped off the cliff… As if I didn’t research for days for the safest cliff diving spot!” he scoffed.

  “You researched for days? You planned this?” you asked, perplexed.

  “Well… I kind of thought this was my last chance so…” He said, his voice trailing off.

  “Oh Kook…” you said, entwining your fingers with his.

  “I was supposed to take you on sundown, but I fell asleep like the idiot I am” he confessed, placing small kisses on your knuckles.

  “Oh shut up” you mumbled, pulling your hand back.  

  Silence wrapped you up in the car as he kept his focus on the road and you did your best to stay awake. Jungkook parked the car not far from the house, but you stopped him before he could get out.

  “Can we… sit here for a minute?” you asked him.

  Wordlessly, he sat back, eyes never leaving yours.

  “I’m just… I’m so happy right now. But I don’t want this to be just fantasy. I need to know you’re ready to… To work on this, on us, with me. Once we get back we can’t just, I don’t know, brush each other off” you said.

  “Y/N, I haven’t been more serious about anything in my life. I’m ready to work on us however long we need to make it work. This isn’t just a hook up for me. Never was, never will be. We… We’re in this for the long run. Okay?” he said, trying to reassure you.

  His words helped your heart settle in its place, back in your chest. As you walked back to the house, hangs held tightly together, you knew that from now on everything would change. Dynamics needed to be made anew, your relationship shifting, the balance of the group’s friendship dipping.

  But you were in this together. And with Jungkook by your side… There were few things that scared you.

[shigarakis-fifth-hand]

Mha Smut Scenarios

Anonymous said:

hey there, can i request for alpha ilda, kirishima, and shinsou (separately please) and omega!reader (female) who is desperate during her heat so she begs them to go rough and knot her? can you make it as nsfw as you can? thanks mate

Hiiii! I can only do Iida and Kiri because it took forever for me to do this one bc sis isn’t feeling very horny or motivated so sorryyyyy. If you really want Shinso, maybe I could do an entire series about an x reader for him bc I feel so baddd! If I ever go into a Shinso fangirl phase, I will totally do a series! <3 Thanks for requesting!!

Iida

You two had started dating two years ago, immediately falling for one another as you couldn’t separate from each other after smelling each other. You fell in love with how cute he liked with his hair messy, how he was soft to you only, and how he smelled woodsy and like nature.

He had fallen in love with how breathtakingly gorgeous you are, putting a blush on every single guy in the classroom. At first he didn’t think that he stood a chance, until you had kissed him while cuddling up to him during a movie night. That’s when you fell into a routine, snuggling into his lap and falling asleep on him while he watched a movie with the rest of the class, ignoring the glances of the other jealous alphas.

Iida knew that they all could smell you, and how you smelled like addicting cherry blossoms and raw sugar. But you were all his, and that made him love you just a little bit more, especially when he saw Denki and all of the other Alphas be a little bit too friendly with you on Movie Night... like Bakugo was doing right now.

As Iida and Todoroki made popcorn in the kitchen, Iida couldn’t help but look over to see you and Bakugo laughing about a joke he had said, him resting against your small body with his arm over your shoulder and his other hand on your thigh. Like usual, you were oblivious to any of his obvious intentions that were anything but friendly, and kept laughing, trying to catch your breath as you smiled. 

In that moment, Iida slammed the bowl down, ran over to you, and growled at Bakugo, gripping you in his arms and bringing you back to the kitchen with him. “Iida! What are you doing?” You asked as he plopped you on the counter and resumed the popcorn.

“I do not want you hanging out with Bakugo anymore. He has nothing but bad intentions with you, trust me.” He looked you straight in the eyes, his crystal blue ones meeting your e/c gems. “Iida... that’s not-” You stopped talking as Iida went back to the popcorn, trying his best to ignore you. Suddenly, you jumped from your spot next to him and ran to the stairs, closing the door behind you and running to your room.

“Wha- Is she okay?” Mina asked from the couch, looking worryingly at Iida. “Um, I’m not s-” Iida stopped talking as he smelled your lingering scent, burnt sugar and the smell like you walked right out of a Bath and Body Works. “I’m going to go check on her.” Iida growled, his Alpha instincts kicking in. You were in your heat, and he had gotten a smell of you. He needed to help you.

Unlike today, you usually started your heats during the week, and then boarded yourself up in the room with Lysol everywhere and heat suppressants. But those didn’t work for hours, and honestly, Iida wanted more of your smell. He needed a taste of you.

“Y/n, it’s me. Please open the door.” Iida exclaimed through the door, knowing that you were on the other side. Even from the other side, he could smell you ever so slightly. You were just so addicting, he could never have enough of you. “Iida, I don’t think it’s a good idea if you-” Iida slammed his fist into your door, letting the Alpha inside of him take control.

“Omega, open this door right now. That’s an order.”

Inhaling slowly, you opened the door to reveal yourself to Iida. You were in a sports bra and panties, your hair tied back, and your loud fan was on. You were trying to cool down, and help suppress your heat. “Oh Omega... you look so pitiful.” That was right before you fell into his arms, your legs limp. “Alpha, please help me.”

Your eyes were full of tears, and your lips were plump. Iida picked you up in his arms, closed the door behind him, and carried you to the bed, laying you down. “Alpha... please.” You begged, closing your eyes and squeezing the sheets with your fists. 

“W-what do you mean-” Not acting like your usual self, you grabbed his uniform shirt and tugged him towards you, your lips inches apart. “Please knot me Alpha. I need you. It feels like I’m dying inside.” A single tear rolled down your cheek, pushing Iida to his limit. He ripped over his shirt, a single button falling off as he began to strip himself of his belt and pants, leaving his top and legs bare. 

As Iida removed your shirt, and then the bralette you wore, and finally your skirt and panties, he couldn’t help but stare at you. So breath-taking, and such a goddess, especially in that school uniform. He crawled over you, bending down and sucking your neck tenderly, sucking as hard as he could as his hands wrapped around your waist, pinning you down harshly. 

“Iida...” You moaned constantly, only feeding his sex drive and his urges. He wanted you, and your smell was driving him crazy. His thoughts weren’t working, his erection was harder than ever, and all he wanted to do was fuck you until you were screaming. You had let him do whatever he wanted to you during his rut, and now, he was going to please you better than any of your alpha friends could ever imagine of doing.

Iida began to remove his boxers while pinching your nipples, smiling as you moaned and squirmed under him. He loved every bit of it. When he was finally naked, he picked you up and bent you over, positioning you up perfectly. “What’s our safe word Baby?” He asked as you panted, more than ready. “Stop.” You repeated like usual as he nodded, you feeling his gentle hands position your back side as you tried to prepare yourself. 

3... 2... 1...

“Iida!” You screamed out as he entered you, squeezing the sheets in your fists as he pushed himself inside of you. Immediately your horny aches went away, and were replaced with the best feelings of pleasure bundling up inside the pit of your stomach. In and out, in and out., in and out. 

“Iida... please do it.” You begged as he nodded, understanding what you wanted. You wanted him to knot you, which ended an Omega’s heat for good for nine months, even if you weren’t pregnant. When Iida pulled out, you fell into his arms, weak and unable to move your sore body.

He laid you on the bed, put the light blanket on you, tucked you in, and then sat on your desk chair, reading one of the books he had left over at your place last time he came over. Sure he was tired, but you, he could only imagine what you were going through. Tired, aching, and still you were such a perfect goddess for him. Nothing but perfection and love.

His mother had always told him that he was going to meet a nice omega one day, but never had he imagined someone like you.

Kirishima

Kirishima was at the gym with his dudes when you called him. “Dude, wait up! Y/n’s calling me!” He yelled out to Denki and Sero who teased him, but also understood. They were really just jealous, they didn’t have an Omega like you, nor a s/o who was as chill and bro-like as you, with your long handshakes and the cool way you dyed your hair.

“Hey babe, what’s-” He was met by a tingle in his mind, telling him something was up with you. Alphas instinct. “Kiri... p-p-please come b-back-” Kirishima hung up the phone and grabbed his stuff quickly, slipping his hair out of the man bun. “Sorry guys! I gotta run!” Kirishima exclaimed, grabbing his bag and his adidas sandals. “Dude, you haven’t even started yet! Bros before... female bros?” Denki tried to convince him, but Kirishima refused.

You were in your heat, and he wasn’t there for you. You had told him how hard your heat was, curling up in a ball in your nest, the only thing helping was your Alpha. “No can do Bro! I’ll see y’all in 3-5 days!” Kirishma waved and ran out to his car, leaving the two confused. “3-5 days? What does that even-” Sero stopped as the two looked at each other, remembering something from sex ed class back in high school.

“He’s one lucky bastard...” Denki murmured, thinking of you before Sero punched him in the chest. “Don’t be creepy Bro. Come on, let’s get ripped. Then maybe we can find you a cute omega too!”

Kirishima drove as fast as he could, almost making marks on the street as he pulled into the parking lot of the condo complex that you guys lived in. Being a pro hero had its benefits, and having enough money to buy one of the cutest apartments in the world was one of them. He ran to the elevator, before realizing it was too slow and then zooming up the stairs to your condo.

He entered the key into the lock, twisted it, opened the door, and gasped. The smell of freshly baked cookies filled the room, except Kirishima knew it wasn’t cookies. He ran down the hall, turned the corner into the living room, and then into the bedroom to see you, staring at the wall in your hero uniform while laying on the bed. “Aww, baby.” Kirishima ran to your side as you looked up, your eyes in tears from how needy you were.

“P-please Kiri. My insides feel like I’m going to die. I can barely move.” You begged, your voice weak and pitiful, torture to his ears. He took a hair elastic from your dresser and tied your hair into a loose bun before sitting you up and unzipping your outfit. It was a simple suit that hugged your curves and showed off your legs, with many buttons and zippers in case something slipped.

When you were finally undressed, leaving you in just your panties and bra, Kirishima couldn’t help but look at you in amazement. You panted, relived to be not as hot. Through five and a half years of dating, Kirishima couldn’t get enough of your body, not to mention your scent hormones driving you crazy.

“P-please hurry.” You wrapped your arms around his neck tightly as he kissed your neck, running his hands all over your body, his alpha hormones corrupting all of your senses. He was all you could think about, and your body was begging for him to make you feel better.

He pushed you down on the bed, stripping himself of any clothes, leaving his long cock free for you to stare at. You moved your hand down to touch yourself before he stopped you, smirking playfully as he pinned your hands above your head. “Tell me when you need me to stop, okay?” Kirishima looked at you as you nodded, shutting your eyes and preparing yourself for impact. He looked down at your entrance, his mouth watering as he aimed himself up.

Interlocking his fingers with yours, he slowly pushed himself into you, watching you gasp and arch your back in response. Eventually, he began to ram himself into you faster and faster, watching the desperation in your expression disappear as you began to breathe more.

Minutes passed before he finally pulled out, rolling over and allowing you to cuddle against him. “I love you Alpha.” You whispered in his ear, purring happily as you gripped tightly to his muscled arm. “I love you more Omega.” You both fell asleep in each other arms.

[thebluenoteblog]

Just Trust Me

Summary: Things have been going well in your relationship. You and Tyler are happy, it seems as though nothing could ruin it. That is until your best friend sends you a picture of him that changes everything.

Player: Tyler Seguin

Word Count: 1.7k

*This is the first time I've written anything for Tyler Seguin so I’m sorry if it isn’t very good.*

It was a typical warm Dallas night and you were laying on your couch with a good book and a glass of wine when your phone buzzed. You smiled, closing the book and hoping that it was Tyler. You’d been dating for six months now and things were going better than you could have hoped. He always found time to talk to you before bed when he was away, so it wasn’t a stretch. You set your book and half empty wine glass down on the end table and reached for your phone.

But it wasn’t Tyler’s name that showed up on your screen. It was a picture from your best friend.

You suppressed the disappointment and unlocked the screen, pulling up the message. It was a screenshot from twitter. Your blood ran cold. You thought your heart may have stopped beating for a second, but surely that couldn’t be true.

The picture was taken in a bar, you assumed in Vegas as that was where the Stars were at the moment, and Tyler was sitting in a chair with some girl perched in his lap with her arms around his neck. You saw red. You couldn’t decide if you wanted to yell every obscenity your mind could muster at him, or never speak to him again.

So, in that moment you typed back a quick message to your friend, a thank you for the information, and then turned your phone off. He could fuck right off if he thought you were going to talk to him before you were ready.

You changed into your pajamas and crawled into bed. You didn’t cry. You stared blankly at the ceiling until the sun came up and it was time to get up and get ready for work.

****

“Are you okay? You haven’t answered your phone since yesterday?”

You glanced at your best friend around the door, like you were making sure Tyler wasn’t hiding in the hallway of your apartment building. That was a ridiculous thought because he was playing a game in LA that night, but it never hurt to check. “I have my phone turned off.”

“Why don’t you just block him?” She asked as you stepped aside and let her into your apartment. Why didn’t you? Because you couldn’t convince yourself that it was over. Even knowing that he had probably cheated on you, it still hurt to think that he would never use his key to walk through the door to your apartment again.

“To final I guess,” You said quietly, closing the front door, flipping the lock and latching it for good measure.

****

You left your phone off for the rest of his road trip. For a whole week you ignored any form of contact with anyone who attempted to talk to you outside of work. Your best friend came over to check on you almost every night. You would eat crappy take out and avoid any mention of Tyler or hockey. After she left you would lay down in bed and pick something in your room to stare at until you finally fell asleep in the early hours of the morning.

It was 2:00 am a week after you’d seen the picture and you were staring blankly at streetlights shining through the curtains when the knocking started. You made the firm decision to ignore it, because there were only two options for who would be knocking on your door at two o’clock in the morning: someone planning to murder you, or Tyler. Neither of which you were in the mood to strike up a conversation with.

After a minute, the knocking turned into banging and being a small apartment, there was no way to tune it out. “(Y/N), open the door! I know you’re home!” So, it was Tyler. You didn’t know if you were relieved or not. The picture flashed through your mind again and you were tempted to keep ignoring him. He clearly wasn’t going to let that fly and if Tyler was one thing, it was determined. “I’m not going away until you let me in!”

He was yelling. You had neighbors. It was after 2:00 am. You were probably going to be getting a call from your landlord in the morning. So, you threw off the covers and made your way to the door, threw it open and said harshly without giving yourself a chance to fully take him in and lose your nerve, “What do you want?”

He looked like a mess. His hair was a mess as though he’d been running his hands through it. His beard was longer than usual. His whole body was tense. He relaxed a bit as soon as you opened the door but tensed up again at your harsh words. “To find out why you fell off the face of the planet?” He responded, attempting to push his way into your apartment.

You stepped into his way, blocking his path. He froze and focused his hurt eyes on you. “Tyler, I don’t want to do this right now. It’s late. I’m tired. Come back when it isn’t the middle of the night.” You attempted to close the door, but he shoved his hand in the way, catching it before it could latch and pushing it open again.

“Bullshit, (Y/N). You don’t get to do that.” He said, using his much larger body to push past you and into the apartment. You huffed in annoyance but closed the door behind him. “You don’t get to send my calls straight to voicemail for a whole week and then tell me to come back later when I come to find out why.”

You crossed your arms, because well, you did get to do that. He was in the wrong. He was the one with another girl sitting in his lap. But you didn’t say that, you just stared at him. He knew what he did and the innocent, hurt act was the worst part.

“Damn it, (Y/N), say something! If this is you breaking up with me, you at least have to tell me why!” He was pacing around your living room now, practically burning a hole in your floor.

Finally, you couldn’t bite your tongue anymore. “I think you know why, Tyler!” You snapped. Leaning forward into his face when he turned toward you.

He startled backward at the force of your anger. “What are you talking about?” He asked, “What did I do?”

To say he looked confused would be an understatement. He looked like a sailor lost at sea in the middle of a storm. You however, were not confused. You knew exactly where you were going with this argument. “I’m talking about the girl, Tyler.”

There was no look of recognition on his face, no hint whatsoever that he had any idea what you were talking about. He was looking at you like you were insane. “What girl?” He asked, his words coming out louder than he meant for them to in his frustration. “(Y/N), I have no idea what you’re talking about. Please feel free to clue me in!”

You huffed and uncrossed your arms as you spun on your heal and headed towards your bedroom. He followed closely like a lost, confused, somewhat angry puppy. You picked up your phone from the nightstand and he scoffed, “Oh, so you do still have a functioning phone.”

You narrowed your eyes at him before unlocking it and pulling up the picture from your text messages. You turned your phone to him and put it in his face, “This girl, Seguin.”

You didn’t know exactly what reaction you were expecting from him, but the one you got definitely wasn’t it.

The asshole laughed.

He fucking laughed.

You dropped your phone on the bed and pointed at the door, “Get out.”

He responded with a simple statement, “No.”

You took a deep breath and crossed your arms again. You were about two seconds away from breaking down into tears and you didn’t want him to see that. “I think we’re done here.”

He stopped smiling.

He took a step toward you, “Baby, let me explain, please. I can explain the picture. It’ll make sense, I swear.”

You wanted to kick his ass out and sit on the floor of your shower crying for a week. But more than that you wanted him to say something that made all of this go away. Something that fixed this mess, so you could go back to sitting on the couch with a glass of wine and a good book, getting excited every time your phone buzzed because just maybe it was Tyler.

So, you didn’t stop him when he started talking.

“The guy’s and I, we were out at this bar.” He started, taking another slow step toward you and you resisted the urge to back away. “These girls came up and they asked me for a picture. I said yes but before I could stand up she sat down in my lap and her friend took it. I asked them to delete it. I guess they didn’t.”

“Why should I believe you?” You asked him, and your voice cracked because he looked so genuine, so panicked at the thought that you might not believe him and there wasn’t anything that he could do about it. He knew just as well as you did that you had plenty of reasons not to believe him.

But you did. You did believe him. You believed him because he was so confused when you accused him of knowing what he’d done. You believed him because he looked so heartbroken staring back at you when those word had left your mouth, like he was already preparing himself for the worst. You believed him because there’s no way to fake the passion that he showed when he arrived at your apartment that night. But mostly, you believed him for his answer to your question.

“Because why would I ever do anything to ruin this?” He asked you, taking another step closer and now he could reach out a hand to touch you. He brushed a hand over the side of your face and you didn’t feel the desire to pull away. “Why would I ruin the best thing that’s ever happened to me?”

[wayward-nephilim]

Don’t be afraid to catch feelings // Kie x FEM!reader

Prompt: After a party the Pogues crash at the Château and you and Kie stay up all night talking.

Warnings: does fluff count?, also mentions of homophobic parents (not too bad tho)

A/N: there is definitely not enough Kie love going around. So imma leave y’all with this. (this is Kie x FEM!reader) I also love this so much!! I wanna do more and maybe start taking requests.

Another night and you guys had managed to throw another great party. The whole night was filled with drinking, smoking and messing with tourons. Normally you guys would split up afterwards, but you all decided to crash at John B’s because of how late it was. “Y/N, are you sleeping on the pull out couch with me?” Kie asked, pulling the bed out and putting pillows and blankets on it.

“Well, it’s either with you or with one of the boys and let’s be honest, I’m not sure the boys are able to resist this rocking body.” You joked, walking over to the pull out bed. John B was nice enough to give you a shirt and pair of basket ball shorts to sleep in. Kie was wearing a similar outfit to sleep in.

“Oh definitely not.” JJ winked at you. And walked into the spare bedroom. “Goodnight losers.” He held up peace signs and closed the door.

You all said your good nights and you finally laid down. Feeling the comfort of finally being off of your feet. You felt a nervousness in your stomach being inches away from your best friend who was lost in thought on her phone. It wasn’t easy coming to terms with your sexuality, you felt different for as long as you can remember. You never felt attracted to anyone else, none of the boys made you feel the way Kiara did and you don’t think they ever could.

You’d jokingly flirt with Kie the way the boys did. And you never thought that she caught onto it. After all you never told anyone about your sexuality, it was all a new thing. But Kie happened to be very open with hers, you knew she was pansexual. Which managed to ease some anxiety because even if she rejects you it’s not because she’s straight. But also you never thought ablut making a move, you know there’s no Pogue on Pogue macking and you took it very serious.

You turned to face Kie and stared at her as the light of her phone illuminated her face and her Juul was in between her finger. “What’s up Y/N?” She glanced up from her phone and made eye contact with you.

“I’m not gonna be able to sleep, you know how I get at other people’s houses.” You shrugged, it was true. You always had a hard time falling asleep, even in your own bed.

She sat up, so her back was against the back of the couch and you followed her movements. “Let’s play a game.” She offered, letting out a small yawn.

“What kind of game?” You eyed her suspiciously.

“I don’t know. We could play truth or dare, 21 questions, or never have I ever. Or an iMessage game.”

“Let’s play truth or dare. I’ll go first. Truth or dare.”

“Dare.” She grinned,

“Hmmm.” You thought, “I dare you to eat a bite out of one of the moldy bread pieces.”

“That’s gross.” She said, getting up. You followed her into the kitchen as she went for the bread box and grabbed the loaf. “I can’t believe she hasn’t thrown this out yet.” The loaf had at most six pieces in it, all of which were splattered with mold.

“I know.” You made a face in disgust. It didn’t smell too good either.

“You ready?” She asked, releasing a sigh and eyeing the bread cautiously.

“Are you?” You laughed, “I’m not the one eating poison bread.”

She shook her head, “If I get sick from this I’m gonna kill you.” She said and bit the end of the piece.

“Now swallow.” You urged to her, laughing at her pain.

She reluctantly let the bread fall down her throat and gagged. “I hate you.” She groaned and grabbed a water bottle. Chugging it to get the taste of moldy bread off of her tongue.

“You love me.” You smiled at her, walking back over to the couch. “Your turn.”

“Truth or dare?”

“Dare.” You both stopper at the bed, neither of you sitting down.

“I dare you to go into JJs room. Shirtless.”

You glared at her, “Fine but if he makes any moves I’ll kick his ass and possibly yours.”

You slowly walked over to JJs closed door and took in a deep breath before taking your shirt off and slowly opening the door. He didn’t seem to hear the door open, his back facing you and light illuminating from his phone. You closed the door, loud enough for him to hear and he turned over to you. Eyes wide. You felt heat creep up to your face. And saw a blush creep onto his. You didn’t move at all, not knowing what to do.

“Y/N. What are you doing?” He stared at your naked chest. You didn’t feel shy around JJ, it definitely wasn’t the first time he saw your boobs. Your freshman year of high school, you and him briefly had a thing for each other. It got as far as you guys making out and him seeing your boobs. But you’ve grown a lot since then and also discovered that you didn’t need to feel self conscious around JJ because you weren’t attracted to him.

“I- it was a dare.” You laughed awkwardly, “I’m sorry. Also nothing that you haven’t seen before.”

“Okay.. umm-“ He was trying his hardest not to stare at your chest. “Well, you’ve definitely changed since you were 14, our freshmen year of high school.

“You are absolutely right.” You laughed, “I’m gonna go now.” Pointing behind you and grabbed your bare chest to cover up and you walked out of his room. Kie was laughing.

“That wa humiliating.” You told her and grabbed your shirt from his hands. She was trying to suppress her laugh. “Shhh. You’re gonna wake the others.”

You could feel Kies eyes on your back as you put your shirt on, feeling a little self conscious. You cleared your throat and sat down on the couch, Kie going back to her side. You were both now sitting cross cross, and across from one another staring into each other’s eyes. “Truth or dare?” You asked,

“Dare.”

“I dare you to take a 30 second hit from your Juul. Slowly, of course.”

“That’s nothing.” She said, pulling her phone out to set a timer and handed it to you and then grabbed her Juul from next to her pillow.

“Ready?” She nodded and you started the timer, watching her inhale as much as she could. You could tell her lungs were filling up and she needed a breather by the look on her face. The timer rang and she let out the smoke with a large cough coming after wards.

“Shhh. You’re going to wake John B and Pope.”

She grabbed the pillow next to her and coughed into it, trying to slowly breathe in and out. You patted her back and chuckled.

Raising an eyebrow at her you asked, “You good?”

She nodded. “Perfect. Truth or dare.”

“Truth.”

“Okay,” she paused. “What happened with you and JJ freshman year?” Wow, that was a loaded question you thought.

“Oh, wow.” You laughed. “Um.. we dated for like three months, this was before the rule, obviously. We were actually the reason the rule was put in place, believe it or not.” You smiled fondly at the memory.

“Okay.” John B declared, you and JJ had just announced your break up. Which shocked both Pope and John B.

And after much interrogation from Pope and John B and neither you nor JJ telling them the details, they gave up.

“New rule.” Pope said,

“Oh and what’s that?” JJ asked in a snarky tone.

“No Pogue on Pogue macking. You guys didn’t work out that means there no hope for any of us.”

“I can get down with that.” You laughed,

“We kissed a couple of times, I let him touch my boobs. He wanted to have sex but I couldn’t feel attracted to him in that way. And he didn’t push on it.” JJ was the only one who really knew or understood you, he kind of guessed that you weren’t straight from the get go. And he never pushed you to talk about it if you weren’t uncomfortable, but the two of you had a bond that couldn’t be broken because of it.

“Wait. What do you mean you weren’t attracted to him in that way?” She asked, “He’s JJ everyone is attracted to him that way.”

You felt heat rise to your cheeks and suddenly you didn’t want to make eye contact with your friend any more as her stare pinned you down. “I, uh-“ you didn’t want to come out this way, nervousness filling your stomach. “I’m gay.” You said softly, looking down to your lap and fiddling with your fingers. That was the first time you said those words out loud and it felt like a relief to say them.

“Oh!” She gasped, a smile playing on her lips. “Well, I’m pansexual. Kinda just assumed everyone knew.” She shrugged, you knew it was easy for her and she had loving and supporting parents who would do anything to let them know they love her no matter what.

You looked up at her with a big grin. And a weight falling off of your shoulder that you were accepted. “Yeah, I kind of just avoided all of my emotions. My mom told me it was just a phase and I’d grow out of it.” You shrugged and picked at your nails to avoid making eye contact with her.

She frowned, “I’m sorry, Y/N.” And pulled you in for a hug. “I accept you and I’m sure that our friends will too. I love you.” You hugged her back, tightly.

Her embrace was warm and tight. It was nice and reassuring to have someone care about you the way your friends did. You relaxed into her and continued to hug her. “I love you, too.” Your words were slightly less platonic than hers. You knew she meant that she loved you as a sister, not as anything more than a friend. But even if you didn’t end up with Kiara you still knew yourself and had am accepting family.

Some time passed by and you didn’t release her but when she pulled away she frowned at you. “Y/N. What’s wrong?” She had a worried look on her face.

You didn’t even realize you were crying until you sniffled and wiped your nose. “I just didn’t expect you to be so accepting. Ya know? I’ve lived my whole life like this with my family harassing me for not having a boyfriend or being interested in boys and thinking something is wrong with me. It’s nice to know someone cares.” You wiped your tears and took a deeper breath in, exhaling.

She pulled you back in. “I will always love and always accept you no matter what happens. You are my best friend and my partner and crime.” Her voice was soft and you could tell she was being genuine. No one cared about their friends and family the way kiara did, and that was the main reason you were head over heels in love with her.

“Kie, I love you so much. More than you’ll ever know.” You pulled away and just stared into her big brown eyes with so much longing and so much love in your heart, it physically hurt you not being able to show her how much you love her.

At this moment the both of you felt so vulnerable. She was staring at you with the same look you gave her. And for a moment you let yourself believe that maybe she felt the same way about you that you did her. You moved closer to her and glanced down to her lips, a small smile pulling at the ends. She glanced down to yours. And then back up to your eyes. Your breath was shallow, butterflies filling up your stomach as neither of you broke the eye contact and interaction.

She leaned in and placed a gentle kiss to your lips. It was soft, and slow and you left your eyes flutter shut as you put a little more pressure into it. She grabbed your waist and pulled you in closer to her and you put your hands on the sides of her face and let your thumbs move across her cheeks as you continued to kiss her.

Kie pulled away and tested her forehead on yours. A big smile on her face, “I’ve been waiting for that for so long.” She pulled you in for another kiss and fireworks exploded in your stomach, it was passionate.

You pulled away couldn’t help but smile at the girl in front of you. “Me too.” Was all you could say before crashing your lips back onto hers and laid her down on the mattress, hovering above her. There was built up sexual tension between the two of you.

Your mind started thinking about all the moments the two of you shared, they were all leading up to this one right here. “Kie, I don’t want this to be a one time thing.”

“Me neither.” She said and you plopped down next to her, both of you laying on your back. Your arms were touching and neither of you bothered to look at each other.

“Are you ready to break our one rule?” You asked her, “are we going to give this a shot?”

You felt her head nod. “Yes. I want this to be real, Y/N. I want you.” She glanced over, as did you. You leaned in and kissed her.

“Good.” You smiled and draped your arm over her and closed your eyes.

“Goodnight, Y/N.” She kissed your forehead and turned onto her side so you were now spooning her.

[turquoise-stones]

Edge of Insanity Ch. 6: Where From Now?

yandere!Todoroki x fem!reader

previous chapter, masterlist for older chapters

. . .

"...and yesterday I didn't really say what I wanted clearly so to reiterate... I promise that I would never do anything like that. I want to be a hero and I swear I will become one, on my own terms, with my own hard work." You stated firmly, slightly breathless from the long rambling speech you just gave to your classmates.

"And I would never let you guys down like that..." you said, suddenly growing shy as you became more aware of everyone's unblinking gaze. "So please believe me."

You glanced at Uraraka, and she gave you a discrete thumbs up.

"We believe you, (y/n)," Yaoyorozu called out. "Or at least I believe you. If it's your word over a stranger's, I'll definitely trust you."

Murmurs of agreement sounded throughout the classroom and you let out the breath you had been holding.

"Yeah! They don't know that you're the best (y/n)! Whoever said you paid your way here should go to hell!" Kirishima said, clapping his fist into his hand. Louder murmurs started, and you almost started crying from relief. You let out a string of thank yous, before taking your seat. You beamed at your classmates, happy beyond measure that the crisis was finally over.

"Okay, so now that that's done, homeroom is just about over," Aizawa grumbled, not even bothering to sit up from his sleeping bag on the floor. "Just go early. And exit quietly."

. . .

"That was very eloquent, (y/n)!" Iida said enthusiastically, giving you a (mildly painful) congratulatory clap on the back. "Very well worded. I particularly enjoyed the 'jealousy breeds spite' part."

"T-thank you. I'm glad it's done. And I'm sorry for doubting you guys. I was just so out of it..."

"You should be sorry!" Uraraka admonished. "When you ran away yesterday we were so worried!"

"Sorry sorry..." you muttered, embarrassed but still so thankful that you had a group of supportive friends at your side.

"And if anything like that happens again in the future, please let us know immediately!" Midoriya quipped, looking at you with big eyes. You nodded, promising you would and giving him a big smile. It was almost dreamlike, how lucky and loved you suddenly felt.

Midoriya's eyes suddenly widened and he turned away. "Ah! By the way, Iida..."

The conversation diverged from there, and you took the opportunity to take a few bites of lunch. Yesterday was so hectic, it felt good to just hang out with your friends again. Maybe today would go by without a hitch.

"I'm glad to see you're feeling better." Todoroki said quietly into your ear. You jumped from the feeling of his breath and your head snapped up to him before you quickly glanced away with a flush. You hadn't spoken a word to him since that incident in the storage room. You were grateful that he sought you out and comforted you of course, but it was just... awkward now. And despite your best efforts to avoid him earlier today, he managed to slip next to you during lunch.

"I am. Thank you for... being there, Todoroki." you turned redder as you tried to find the words, cursing yourself for getting so flustered.

It wasn't like you meant to pull away from him like that either. It was just staggering to wake up in the lap of someone you admired and respected so much, tangled up in such an embarrassingly intimate way. And because of your reaction, he probably thought you weren't interested in him when that couldn't be further from the truth.

He looked down at his lunch, suddenly deep in thought. You chewed at your lip as an awkward silence fell between you two.

"Are you... do you still want to study together after school today?" He asked, uncertainty obvious in the crease of his eyebrows.

You recalled how he would often study with you after you finished work, but obviously, he had given you space and left you alone yesterday. Peeking up at him, you nodded. It would be awkward and you knew it, but it was probably better to just get over this bump in your relationship with him sooner rather than later.

He nodded in return, feeling satisfied. It warmed him to know that you wanted to continue your relationship with him, despite his advances yesterday. Perhaps, he thought, later that day in the library where it was private and quiet, he could apologize for being so forward with his actions.

You barely noticed how your friends had stopped their chattering to not so discreetly watch the exchange between you and Todoroki. Lost in thought, you didn't notice the way he was looking at you until he bumped his knee against yours.

"You should eat, (y/n)."

"Y-yes." You stuttered out, hastily picking up your chopsticks.

. . .

"So... you're gonna tell me what's wrong?"

"Hm? What?" You asked, snapping you out of your distracted haze.

Uraraka closed her locker before leaning against it, casting you a knowing look.

"Between you and Todoroki? I don't think I've seen the two of you so awkward around each other since... like never."

"Oh... really? I didn't know it was so apparent."

She let out a teasing laugh. "Of course it's apparent! You two are practically glued onto each other all the time! So duh it's weird to see you guys avoid each other!"

You flushed indignantly. "We aren't glued!"

"You two so are! It's cute though!"

"I-"

She let out another peal of laughter at the pout on your face, suppressing her teasing because there were more pressing matters at hand.

"So... something happened right? You two didn't get into a fight did you?"

"No no of course not! Actually kind of the opposite."

"Huh?"

"Come on let's start walking to class. I'll tell you on the way."

"Okay."

The two of you strode along, and you leaned in to avoid being overheard. There were already enough rumors of you floating around, you couldn't bear any more false scandals (especially one involving the son of a pro hero).

"I... I think Todoroki likes me."

"Yeah." She said, completely deadpan.

"Yeah!?"

At that point, Midoriya caught up to you and Uraraka, falling in pace. The way he was jamming books into his backpack as he walked told you he had just come from his locker as well.

"Hi guys. Sorry for interrupting."

"Izuku! Do you think Todoroki likes (y/n)?"

"Shhh! Ochako please talk quieter!" You said frantically.

"Huh? Oh. Yeah. Why?" Midoriya asked, looking between the two of you in confusion.

"Yeah!?!?" You cried out, shocked at how unsurprised and aloof they were.

"See! I told you (y/n)! Of course he likes you!"

"No, like—romantically." You explained, coming to the realization that perhaps Uraraka and Midoriya had interpreted your question wrong, and that was why their answers were so unconcerned.

"No, we know." Midoriya said, much to your embarrassment. He turned a bit pink himself before continuing. "...I don't think I've seen Todoroki look at anyone the way he looks at you."

"Except maybe his cold soba." Uraraka chimed in. The two of them let out a few chuckles but you were much too caught off guard to join them.

"He... he... does?"

"Yes, it's so obvious (y/n)! Everyone can tell!"

"Really? Do you think that too Izuku?"

"It's really true." Midoriya said earnestly. "Todoroki may be bad at expressing his emotions, but when they come, he's bad at hiding them too."

"Are you guys sure? I can't believe-"

"If you want like... evidence," Uraraka offered, "just think about your library 'study sessions'. Do you think that if it were me, Todoroki would stay and talk to me like that?"

"Um. Yes?"

"No!" She laughed. "It's kinda cute how dense you are~!"

You fell silent, processing her words and their implications. Todoroki liked you. It was bizarre. And you liked him as well, as a friend and perhaps as more. Did that mean that the two of you...? The three of you made it to your next class, and huddled together to continue speaking.

"But (y/n), that doesn't explain why you guys are so awkward today?" Urakaka asked, remembering the catalyst of this whole conversation.

"Ah, now that I think about it, you two are rather cold with each other today." Midoriya said thoughtfully. "Does this have to do with the post yesterday?"

"Well kind of? It's a bit... embarrassing to tell you guys."

"Tell us!" Uraraka chimed.

"Yeah, you just promised to tell us your problems." Midoriya gently urged you.

"...well you know how I didn't go to our last class yesterday?"

"Oh yeah..."

"I'm sorry I didn't notice..."

"It's okay." You said hastily upon seeing the guilty expressions that adorned their face. "Todoroki came to look for me."

"But-"

"He said-"

Uraraka and Midoriya looked at each other in confusion before unanimously landing on the answer. "Bathroom."

"Ah, was that how he got out of class?" You questioned, feeling a bit guilty that he lied and skipped class just to talk to you. "Anyways, we talked and I fell asleep. And when I woke up, I... I... I think he almost kissed me." You rushed out. You strategically decided to omit the part where you were practically on top of him.

Two jaws collectively hit the ground.

"Are you serio-"

"Oh my God (y-)"

"I can't believe Todoroki would do... like it's Todoroki."

"He must really like y-"

"I said almost! Almost! We didn't..." You said frantically, waving your hands around to hush them.

"Well what happened?"

"Yeah what did he say?"

"I think I pulled away." You said nervously.

"What? Why? Don't you like him too?" Midoriya questioned bluntly, causing a hot blush to saturate your face.

"(Y/nnnn) can't you just let this ship sail?" Uraraka whined loudly, worsening your flustered state as your classmates around you cast confused looks her way.

"I do like him! I do... I don't know why I pulled away, it's all my fault that it's awkward now!" You cried, hiding your face in your hands from a mixture of frustration and embarrassment. "Or maybe I just hallucinated it and he didn't even lean in!"

"Just tell him how you feel?" Midoriya suggested.

"That's easier said than done." Uraraka took the words right to your mouth.

"Oh my god Todoroki and (y/n) together... you two are honestly such good fits for each other..." Midoriya mumbled offhandedly.

"What should I do?" You looked to the two of them for advice, deliberately avoiding Midoriya's comment lest you become more red-faced. "We're going to be alone in the library today and I don't want things to get even more awkward..."

"Do you want to be with him?" Uraraka asked softly.

"...yes." You said, equally softly, before turning all shades of pink. "Well... I don't know. I feel like we haven't known each other long enough. I don't want things to fall apart."

"Then tell him, like that." She smiled. "I believe in you!"

"O-okay. I can do that... I will. Thank you for the advice, Ochako, Izuku."

They smiled and rattled off a few more encouraging words, before the teacher opened the door and beckoned everyone in.

[beelziebabie]

The First (Human) Deviltuber - Obey Me Brothers x Reader

Interactive?: At some parts, yes (Later on)

Gender: Female MC

Edited?: nope

Notes: sorry for this being so late aaaa i got really sick yesterday and im still sick now. really sorry!! i made this one a bit longer than i normally would. i hope you enjoy <3💗💕💕

CHAPTER FOUR

“MC,” You heard a voice mumble, then a short but harsh shake to your shoulder. You grumbled and resisted the urge to flip them off, turning onto your side and bringing the blanket over your head. “Momo please. Go away. Let me sleep.”

“It’s 11 am.”

“Whatever. I wanna sleep.” He sighed.

“Cmon, I wanna do your makeup todayy,” Asmodeus pulled the covers off of your head and you sent a glare at him. He ignored it and patted your messy hair.

“Go take a shower and brush your teeth, then come back in here and sit at your dresser so I can do my work,” He beamed as you sat up, stretching your arms over your head.

“See, I even got dresser all ready!” He pointed to your dresser where everything needed to get your face totally ready was laid out. You blinked and ran your hand across your face.

“Where did you even find that?- Nevermind, where’s Mammon?” You asked, getting off the bed but tripping over something immediately after.

You heard a long groan right after your own. Asmodeus peeked over the side of the bed and held back a giggle, seeing you sprawled on top of Mammon and him struggling to process the situation.

“Theres your answer,” Asmodeus grinned and this time you flipped him off for real.

You got off of Mammon and apologized, leaving an innocent kiss on his cheek and pulling the blanket off your bed and draping it across Mammon. He was only in a tank top and sweatpants so he had to be pretty cold especially since your room had gotten chilly. He fell right back asleep after.

Asmodeus followed you out of your room and into the hallway to get to the bathroom. “Is everyone else up?”

“Nope, only Lucifer, Beel and Leviathan are awake. Including myself of course.” You hummed and turned on the bathroom lights.

You went to pull your shirt over your head when you realized Asmodeus was still in the bathroom with you, standing there with his hands behind his back and a closed eyes smile. You looked at him through the mirror.

“Uhh.. why are you still here? I need to shower.”

“Mhm!”

“That means I need to get naked.”

“I know.”

You sighed and pushed him out and he made no effort to stop you. “Asmo, I dont think you know what boundaries are.”

“Theres nothing on you I haven’t seen yet,” He shot you a wink and your cheeks flushed slightly as you suppressed a vein popping.

“What the hell does that mea- Nevermind. I’ll see you when I get out.”

. . .

After you got out the bathroom with a towel wrapped around your chest you felt much more awake than before. Just as Asmodeus said, he was waiting for you in your room near your dresser. He even went as far as picking out your outfit for you.

“Wow, I dont even remember buying these,” You picked up a light blue cropped hoodie and black, high waisted ripped jeans along with a bunch of jewelry. Normally you’d only wear an oversized hoodie and leggings.

“Your closet is completely untouched. How much stuff do you buy and never use?” He lightly forced you to sit down in your seat so he could start. You held your hair back in a low ponytail to make it easier for him.

“Uhh, a lot I think? Theres a lot of styles of Instagram and Pinterest that I like and want to try out on myself so I go on shopping sprees.. but I never actually wear the clothes out.” You paused. “Or ever, for that matter.”

He shook his head and laughed a bit. “I don’t even do that. What type of look do you want?”

“Really simple and natural, I’m planning on filming a video today so please make it quick Momo.”

He clicked his tongue and nodded. “You got it.”

. . .

He was quick. Extremely quick. It only took him, maybe, 45 minutes, which is less than half than what you thought it would take. You got dressed and headed downstairs where the other brothers were lounging, watching tv or cooking or eating.

You sat on the couch next to Beelzebub and sat indian style. “Goodmorning everyone.”

“It’s not even morning anymore,” Leviathan said, turning his head to look at you. “It’s almost noon.”

“It’s not my fault that you all are so tiring.”

You felt Lucifer’s eyes bore into the back of your head the moment you said that. “Okay..only five of you.”

“Welp, Levi, wanna go get started?” You tapped him on the shoulder and he nodded.

You stood up and waited for him to follow you to your gaming room. You pulled up another spinning chair for him to sit in and set everything up before looking to him again.

“You ready?” You smiled and he smiled weakly. “Yeah. As ready as I’ll ever be!”

“Aaand we’re live!” You said to the camera, waving with a giant smile as Levi sat timidly next to you. You elbowed him lightly in the arm and nodded to the camera. “Say hi Levi!”

The chat was swarmed with different usernames and messages. You did your best to read them all but the chat was going too fast. Moments like these you wished that you only had a couple thousand of followers, so that everyone could be noticed easier.

Levi put on a small smile and waved before looking down into his lap again. Out of your peripheral vision you could tell his face was on fire. You rubbed his back to spare him the embarrassment.

“Today’s live will be a Q&A while we play minecraft! How does that sound, Levi?” You glanced from the camera to Levi and watched him nod. You sighed. You could only hope that he would open up more as time went on.

You turned on slowmode for the chat so that the messages would go by slower. You handed a controller to Levi and turned on the TV that was just above your computer screen.

You looked back at the chat and smiled warmly at all the ‘Welcome Back’ messages. “Hi everyone, how are you? I missed you all so much.”

Most of the stream went by smoothly. Only most of it.

The boys would constantly enter and leave your gaming room, even after you told them to stop. Except Lucifer, who only entered once and left you alone for the rest of the time. You thanked him immediately after the stream ended.

Mammon seemed especially clingy today. You couldn’t pin why, maybe its because he woke up without seeing you immediately? Whatever it was, he would continuously try to get your attention during the stream.

To avoid making him upset or sad you would always give him at least a little bit of attention then go back to the stream. But he would come back minutes later with something else to show to you or say to you. You were very tempted to just throw him your debit card and leave it at that.

At some point you completely gave up. It was an endless cycle. Sometimes you cursed your motherly demeanor.

The door creaked open right when you placed down the last block of the mansion you and Levi built. He got the hand of the game pretty quickly, he even said that there was a game similar to Minecraft in the Devildom (not audibly, of course. You’re still being recorded.)

You turned your head towards the door and saw that it was Mammon again, but this time with Beelzebub as well.

“We came with snacks,” Bub said simply, pulling up a stool and sitting in it behind you and Leviathan. You thanked him and took a couple cookies from the pile in his arms.

Mammon stood next to you, idly. You looked up at him with a confused expression. “What’s wrong Mammon?”

He said nothing, and instead walked around the other side of the chair and situated himself in your lap.

“Mammon what are you doin- no- stop-“

His legs hung off the arm of the chair and his head rested on your shoulder. You did your best not to push him off your lap and start scolding him. You understood that he didn’t see you for most of the day (except tiny interactions) and he was so used to being around you 24/7 in the Devildom.

“You’re so heavy,” You sighed and went back to gaming.

“Shut up. You should be happy that I’m even speaking to someone as lowly as you.”

“I have more money than you even if its translated to Grimm.” You heard Beelzebub chuckle and Levi hold back a snicker.

“She probably isn’t wrong,” Bub said, opening another pack of chips to scarf down. Mammon clicked his tongue and shut his eyes, embarrassed that this all happened on camera.

You directed your attention back to the chat. You forgot to check it for a while. “Oops, sorry chat. ‘ricegoat’ says.. ‘you werent kidding when you said you have anime boys in your house’.” You laughed at the camera and smiled. “I thought you guys would believe me when I said that.”

The rest of the chat said some rather..peculiar things that aren’t entirely SFW. You had to stop those comments from coming since they were getting quite excessive and uncomfortable for you to read.

7 hours passed since you started the stream and you were starting to feel tired. Levi yawned as well, and Mammon was fast asleep in your lap.

You saved your minecraft world with Leviathan. “Thats all for today guys,” You stretched your arms over your head. “I think this is the end of the stream. I’ll be posting a video today and the highlights tomorrow. Say bye Levi!”

Leviathan smiled and waved at the camera. “Bye, chat. I’ll see you next time.”

[evil-slytherin-queen]

An Ending Pt.2 : A Beginning

part 1

Draco blinked back the tears pressing against his eyes as he walked up the few steps to Harry's front door. He used one of the posts on the porch to support himself and he tried to swallow the lump in his throat.

"Then leave. You may return once you've decided to act like a Malfoy again, as of right now, you are not my son."

His father's words seemed to echo in his head over and over and over again. It had been mere hours since his father had...since Draco'd told him he loved Harry.

After leaving the manor in an almost trance like state, Draco had spent time wandering around a muggle park Harry took him to for one of their first dates.

He'd spent the better part of the day feeling empty and lifeless. No tears had made an appearance and he hadn't crumpled to the floor sobbing just yet, but he hadn't planned on feeling so worthless after telling his father everything either. Draco had mostly felt numb.

"Merlin."

Draco shut his eyes firmly, a few tears rolling down his face. The numbness had faded the second Harry's house came into view and his sadness came crashing down on him in waves. All he wanted to do was break down right there on the porch and fall apart.

But he had to stop. If Draco didn't stop now he knew he might never be able to put all the pieces back together. He needed to be strong because if he lost it now it meant his father won. And he couldn't let him win.

One shaky breath later and Draco found the courage to knock on the door. He could do this. It was fine.

Draco was instantly greeted with Mrs. Potter's glittering smile which only seemed to grow once her eyes landed on him.

"Draco, dear, how lovely to see you! I-"

He couldn't do this.

It wasn't fine.

A gut wrenching sob left his mouth and he would have collapsed if it hadn't been for Mrs. Potter. She wrapped an arm around him and pulled him inside the house.

"Oh my-Draco, sweetheart. What's the matter? What's happened?" Mrs. Potter cooed rubbing his back and tucking Draco's head under her chin.

Draco let out another earth shattering sob and wrapped his arms around her. He loved Harry's mother almost as much as he loved his own. And he really needed the physical comforts his family lacked. Everything hurt.

"It's alright, Draco. It's okay." She said stroking his hair and his back comfortingly. He felts like a child.

"James! Harry! Get in here!" She hollered and Draco wanted the floor to open up and devour him whole. He didn't want Harry to see this. Then he'd have to tell him what happened and Draco didn't want Harry to blame himself for this. And he knew he would. Harry was like that. Too good to be true.

Draco could hear the pounding feet of Mr. Potter and Harry coming down the stairs and the urge to hide himself into Mrs. Potters arms intensified. Harry didn't need to see him like this.

"What's- Draco? Bloody hell! Love, you okay? What's wrong? What happened? Merlin, please tell me he didn't hurt you."

Draco felt Harry pull him off of his mother, who released him and went to whisper about Draco to her husband. Despite not wanting Harry to worry or see him like this he didn't make a move to resist him.

Draco knew he probably looked like a disaster, eyes red and puffy, tears streaming down his face covered in pink splotches no doubt, but Harry looked at him like he was priceless, even now.

"Awe, love. It'll be alright, tell me what happened. Please?" Harry said holding Draco's face with soft hands. He sniffed a little and buried his face into Harry's neck. And he felt Harry's arms wrap around his waist holding him close.

"Just," Draco huffed angrily at the new wave of tears that streamed down his face, "Just hold me for a minute, Harry, please?"

He felt Harry's grip on him tighten as he brought Draco over towards the couch, not releasing him once. "Okay, alright. I've got you, love." Harry hummed sitting down with Draco pressed against his broad chest as he stroked his hair gently.

----

"You were right." Draco said tapping his fingers on the cup of tea Mrs. Potter had made him. Harry's parents had given them the living room to talk, but not before his mother managed to drown Draco in sweets, tea, and fuzzy blankets. That woman was heaven-sent.

Currently the pair was sat on the couch, Draco bundled in at least three blankets, his back leaning against the arm of the sofa with his legs in Harry's lap who sat directly across, facing him.

Harry sighed and ran a hand through his already messy hair. Draco usually loved it when he did that, but right now it just reminded him of the situation he was in.

"I didn't want to be right, love. I'm sorry."

Another silence passed over them as Draco stared off in a daze and Harry stroked his legs absentmindedly.

"You know, I didn't-I never thought he'd-"

Draco stopped again and sipped some of his tea. He hadn't been able to get more than a couple of words out before he felt choked up again. This was horrible.

"Do you remember fifth year?" Draco mumbled looking down at his lap. He could feel Harry's eyes on him as he tapped on his glass. Merlin, he never thought he'd tell anyone this.

"You don't have to-"

Draco looked up and caught Harry's eyes, stopping him short with his intense gaze.

"But I do. I never explained why I was such a prick for that entire year." He said taking a deep breath as he looked up at the ceiling. He could feel the tears pressing against his eyes already. He just wanted this to end!

"My father he- I was seeing Goldstein at the time and then I went away for a few weeks for 'family reasons'. Do you remember that?"

Harry nodded and gave his leg a reassuring squeeze which prompted Draco to continue despite his racing heart. He felt like he might throw up. He hadn't thought about Anthony Goldstein or that hell-forsaken month in a while.

"We weren't careful enough, Goldstein and I, and my father found out through one of his coworker's children. The bugger sent my father a photo of us snogging in the library." Draco let out a stilted laugh and shook his head. He sucked in a deep breath and set his cup down as Harry studied his face, which he pointedly ignored.

"It was ludicrous, really. Of course Goldstein's parents were informed, which didn't really amount to much considering they are in fact not bigots. But my father, being the awful man he is, took me out of school for a month because he thought I was confused, having a nervous break down, sick even." He said finally meeting Harry's eyes again. His green eyes snapped Draco back to reality and grounded him to the present. The words no longer held the flashes of memories they had before and Harry's face dulled the pang of pain a little.

"He thought he could fix me. Like I was broken Harry, or I'd caught some sort of disease! He spent a month drilling into my head exactly what was expected of me, an heir, a perfect little pure-blood bride for a wife." Draco said bitterly he face twisting in disgust. He still couldn't believe, after all of this, he still wanted his fathers love.

"You know what's worse is I genuinely thought he meant well by it all. By all the threats, the screaming, the hexes and curses, even the poor french girls he tried to throw at me." He snorted at just how wrong he'd been.

"Now look, the bloody bastards disowned me and I still love him," An abrupt sob escaped him as he twisted his hands into the pale blue blanket he had around him, "f-uck, Har-ry!"

Draco's body shook from the crying as he tried to suppress it all. He wished the numbness would come back. He felt stupid for crying. It was his own fault after all.

"Love," Harry murmured sadly as he reached out and gathered Draco into his lap. "I'm sorry, baby."

"Everyth-thing hur-rts." Draco cried as Harry held him with strong arms and rubbed his back. He didn't deserve this boy at all. Certainly not while he was such a blubbering mess.

"I know love, 's alright. I've got you, it's okay. You can cry, Draco, you're allowed to. I'm here." Harry said pressing a few kisses to his hair.

"You can stay here, and we'll figure it out, you know my parents love you. And he's your father and you are allowed to love him even if he is a complete wanker. Don't worry, love, we'll figure it out, I promise." Harry whispered and Draco curled his body into Harry's. He let the tears run down his face quietly and closed his eyes.

They stayed like that for a while. Draco's hands gripping onto Harry's shirt as he rocked the pair of them slowly, whispering sweet words to the blonde. The sweetness of it all made Draco want to cry more. He didn't know what he would do without Harry.

"I love you, Harry." He mumbled half asleep from all the exhausting emotions he'd gone through today.

"And I love you more, Draco."

[diddlesanddoodles]

Dumpling ch 31

“Mama,” Nenani asked from where she had curled up against her mother, one of her long thin arms draped over her daughter protectively. Haiyer was fast asleep and curled into his mother’s other side with their mother’s other arm wrapped around him. She had slept a little, but the rhythmic lilting of the pack they were being carried in make it hard to stay asleep. At least for Nenani it was and such restlessness did nothing but urge on the many questions that stewed inside her mind. “...am I a fire mage?”

Her mother’s fingers laced through her hair, pulling lightly at the tangles and only paused for a moment at her query before resuming the idle grooming.

“Yes,” her mother replied softly so as to not rouse Haiyer. “I hope you can understand why it was that I put the seal on you.”

“...to protect me?”

“Yes. But more than that,” she said. “There are so few left with the Flower’s power. You and I may very well be the last. Haiyer might still bloom, but...there are people who crave power and to people like that, fire mages are useful tools. Someone born with the potential for magnificent feats of magic. Or monstrous feats of destruction. They would seek you out and try to make you do things. Things you wouldn’t want to do.”

“Barnaby said that people use to kidnap children who were fire mages if their family wasn’t rich...”

“Yes,” her mother said. “It was horrible. My father encouraged it, calling it a mercy for the families and a blessing for the child. That to surrender your blood in such a way...for the good of out kingdom.”

She shifted as she considered her next question. “Was grandfather...a bad person?”

Her mother did not answer right away. “People are hardly ever just one thing. And they’re different things to different people,” her mother explain. “My father was not a gentle man, no. He was strict, but I knew he loved me. In his way.”

“But he banished you...” It was hard to get around the idea that a father could just throw his child away like that. She couldn’t imagine her own father doing it.

“I broke his heart first,” Oira replied, her voice sounding thick. “He was crying as he read out my punishment. So I knew it pained him, but...I was still forced to leave.”

It wasn’t a satisfying answer and she felt inclined to think ill of her maternal grandfather regardless.

“Sometimes I wonder if what he was trying to do was grant me mercy,” her mother continued. “If I had stayed, both my life and yours would have been horrible. By leaving, he gave me a way to start afresh. At least...that’s what I hoped he meant. I still love him even now and he did allowed Captain Haiyer to honorably discharge your father so that he could come with us. Instead of facing possible execution.”

“He...he would have killed Papa?” Nenani asked in real alarm and raised her head, but Oira pushed her back into place, petting her hair as though to sooth her back into calmness.

“No, it wouldn’t have gone that far. But others may have pushed it to further their own agendas. Any sort of upheaval at court was always a chance for someone to get an upper hand in some dealing or another.”

“Did uncle have to go too?”

“No, Halden stayed. He only found us much later after the capitol fell. He was one of the few that made it out. It was actually by chance he found us at all. He’d bargained for passage on a barge on its way to the Southland Port where he ran into your father. It’s how….how I found out about...how my family died.”

Nenani fell into an uneasy contemplation and then quietly asked, “Would you be able to teach me how to be a fire mage?”

“I was only ever taught the basics. Mostly how to control the flames so they didn’t just burst out whenever I became upset. I wouldn’t be able to teach you much. But I will teach you what I know.”

“I wonder if Maevis would be able to teach me some too,” she contemplated allowed. “And maybe...maybe if I got good at it...I could help.”

“Aidus would kill you if you stood up to him,” Oira said firmly. “No. I want you as far from that as I can get you. And from what you have told me, it sounds as though there are plenty of others in Vhasshal who would agree with me. You’re a child, Nenani. Not a soldier.”

“I don’t want him to hurt any more of my friends...”

“Perhaps,” her mother said. “Once I have spoken to King Warren, we might be able to assemble a defense against Aidus. He’s strong enough to take on several giants all on his own. But he has an army of bewitched serpents at his command as well. It will take...a lot to bring him to heel. You bought us time by killing the dragon. But we can’t hope for more than a month or so.”

They settled into a nervous silence with only the sound of rustling leather and the muffled sound of Keral’s boots to fill the silence. Eventually, sleep came for them all, though neither Nenani or her mother had pleasant dreams.

…………………………………………………………….

When Nenani woke up, she felt sluggish and the air inside the pack was stale and smelled of body odor and whiskey. She was curious about when had woken her when she heard a voice. “Captain, we weren’t expecting you back for another –!”

“Give this note to Captain Rheil,” Keral barked. “It’s of the upmost urgency. I’ll be waitin’ fer him in the west wing’s solar.”

“Uh, sir. There was a fire in the west wing and...”

“East wing then. Hurry on, boy.”

“Oh, of course. But sir, I...”

“Now, you useless halfwit!”

“Yessir!”

“And have some wine brought too!”

She could hear the young Vhasshalan guard scamper off to hurriedly carry out his orders and Keral moving away down a corridor. After several long minutes of silence, there came the sound of large metal hinges screeching as a door was opened and then slammed tight again. The pack tilted alarmingly, and its occupants let out cries of alarm.

“Sorry,” Keral said, flipping the top of his pack open and allowing fresh air in. “Forgot to warn ya.”

He had set the pack down on a wooden bench that faced another bench of similar design and wood. Between them was a low table with the whole affair arranged beside a tall and beautifully ornate stone fireplace. The room’s ceiling was high with its wooden support beams showing through the plaster. He sat down heavily beside them, running a hand down his tired face.

“Can we come out?” Nenani asked as she fidgeted inside.

“Not just yet. I don’t want anyone to be seein’ ya until we’re in front of the King. So just sit back fer a bit.”

“Who is Rheil?” Oira asked, setting Haiyer in her lap. The little boy’s eyes drooped heavily and he was only dimly aware of his surroundings.

“Captain of the guard,” Keral said. “Probably the most trustworthy man here. He took up the post when I refused it.”

Oira snorted. “They wanted you to be Captain of the guard?”

Keral eyed her in annoyance. “That surprise ya, does it?”

“Greatly.” In response, Keral flipped the lid of his pack back over them. Oira gave a startled “Hey!” before Keral shushed her.

“Someone’s comin’. Hush up.”

The door to the room opened and a slim girl carrying a large decanter of wine walked in. “Apologies, my lord. The kitchens are still a mess and they had to move the wine stores to make room for the temporary cook camp.”

“Never ya mind, lass,” Keral said amiably. “I thank ye.”

“Will that be all, m’lord?”

“Fer now.”

“I’ll take my leave then.” The door closed and left them in silence for only a few short moments before it opened again.

“Rheil,” Keral said in muted greeting as he rose and met the Captain halfway.

“Keral,” said the captain, sounding confused and apprehensive. “We weren’t expecting you back for a few more days.”

“There were some...developments that brought me back early.”

“Oh,” Rheil said seriously. “So then..?”

“I need to have a conference with his Majesty. I want you, Maevis, and Barnaby there as well,” Keral said as he poured himself a generous cup of wine and took a long drink. “It’ll make this a hell of a lot easier if everyone is all in one place so I don’t have to go about repeatin’ myself and folks gettin’ the facts backwards.”

“Very well, I’ll see to it that they’re all assembled. Is this of a...sensitive nature?”

“The less folks know, the better.”

“Ah, then I suggest we have this conference in the King’s private study if he permits.”

“Agreed. I’ll wait here until everyone’s ready.”

“Why not simply come with me?”

“You’ll understand soon enough.”

“Very well,” Rheil said. “It’ll come back once everyone is assembled then.”

“I have a question for you Rheil before you go,” Keral said, voice serious and strained. “Jae. Is it true? That the Mage killed him?”

Nenani’s heart pulled alarmingly at those words and to her further dismay, her hands started to glow. She gasped and began to flail her hands as though to shake the affliction off of her. Oira reached out and grabbed her daughter’s hands, bringing them to her lips and kissing them lightly.

“Breathe,” she whispered. “The flames will feed off your fear if you do not control it. Just breathe, baby. You have mastery over the flower, not the reverse.”

“Is Jae…?” Rheil’ asked, sounding confused. “No, he’s not dead. Bruised black and blue from here to Timberbrook, but he’s alive.”

Nenani’s eyes widened and she could not suppress the relieved smile that spread across her face. Even in the dark of the pack, she could see her mother smiling back at her and the glow from her hands faded.

“Seven fuckin’ hells!” Keral said in abject relief and then laughed despite himself. “I’d heard the fucker had killed him.”

“Not for lack of trying, trust me. Threw the poor boy from the Library roof. Luckily for Jae one of my men was right below when he fell and caught him. But only after he’d hit the edge of a lower level on his way down. He’s busted up and his arm is broken, but he is very alive.” Rheil said and then his words grew soft and sad. “But...Farris’s little ward, Nenani. She’s dead.” He paused. “That Mage...the fucker fed her to his dragon. Right in front of me, Keral. I couldn’t get to her in time...”

Keral did not say anything for several moments and then in a quiet, but firm voice, said simply, “Best get going Rheil. Sooner what needs to be said is said, the better fer everyone.”

“...aye.”

The sound of the door closing once again marked his departure and Nenani could hear Keral’s boots clopping against the stone floor as he returned to the bench. “Sorry, lass. I’m thinkin’ it’s best we keep yer miraculous survival to ourselves until we’re before the King.”

“Will I be able to go see Farris and Yale and everyone soon?” she asked anxiously.

“In time,” he said. “But first we need to sort this mess out and see to yer Mum and brother. Just sit tight fer me, sweetling.”

The next half hour was spent in uncomfortable and anxious silence. Nenani could feel her mother becoming more and more agitated as time continued on and the only real sounds beyond their own quiet breathing was the sound of Keral drinking glass after glass of wine.

“I don’t know if I can do this...” Oria said quietly; her breathing having become more and more rapid. She was panicking. “Keral...I can’t do this.”

“Far too late fer any a’ that, lass,” Keral replied grimly. “Just keep hold a’ yer lil’uns and remember to breathe.”

“Don’t cry, Mama,” Haiyer said, cuddling up to her. “Don’t cry.”

She wrapped her arms around her son, but did not speak. Nenani wished she could go see Jae and talk to him. Or to Farris to let him know she was alright. But she was also loathed to leave her mother’s side, especially in such a state. She was beginning to feel awfully anxious herself. It was reminiscent of when she had waited for the King to judge her for stealing fruit from him. The pit of her stomach felt as though she had swallowed rocks and no matter how she sat or shifted, she could not get comfortable. So she concentrated on her breathing so her excessive emotions would cause her hands to spark again. How awkward would it be to get upset and mistakenly burn the King’s study down?

The flap of the pack opened, dousing them in warm sunlight and Keral frowned down at them.

“Ye all look like yer waitin’ fer the executioner’s swing,” he huffed. Oria did not rise to his taunt and he studied the woman for a moment. “Tell me, what are ye afraid of, Oira?”

She spared the ranger a glance and shook her head. “Everything. I’m afraid to look into his eyes and tell him the truth of his brother’s death and all that followed was my doing. That he’ll allow the children to stay,” she whispered. “But demand that I leave. Leave them forever and return to Aidus and to that life.” She let out a breathless sob and fat tear droplets dripped from her chin. “I...I don’t think I could ever return to him. I...I don’t want to, even though I know it’s what I deserve. It might even stop him. But...I can’t.”

“Give Warren a little credit, lass,” Keral replied gently. “He is Thadeus’s brother after all.”

“And the Blood King was their father,” she replied grimly. “I can’t expect his familial connections to save me.”

“Yer not on trail, y’know.”

“Yes I am,” she replied very softly, perhaps intending for the ranger to not even hear her. “From the moment I was presented at court at fourteen years old, all I have ever had on me were judgmental eyes. Deciding how much I was worth. What status my hand would bring. What they could have from me. And the very few people who never did are dead now.”

Keral opened his mouth to reply, but a knock at the door disrupted anything he would have said.

“We’re ready for you, Keral.”

“Aye.”

Keral flipped the pack’s lid and sealed them all back into the dark. Nenani heard him lock the pack’s cover into place and with a measured slowness, eased the pack onto his shoulders. The three humans were rocked inside along with the ranger’s gait as he left the room and followed Rheil down the long halls. Beside her, Nenani heard her mother stifle a sob and wished there was something she could say to make her smile.  

“I’ll warn you now, Keral,” Rheil was saying. “The last couple days have left everyone on a razor’s edge. And this hasty meeting hasn’t done much to quell that. The King’s out for blood.”

“I would expect so,” he replied. “How bad’s the damage to the west wing?”

“Not nearly as bad as it could have been. The dragon only set fire to one portion of the roof and after it left, Maevis was able to easily douse the flames. Donal is overseeing the reconstruction plans. His Majesty’s been with Jae for the most part.”

“Injuries?”

“Minimal. A few burns. Some tapestries were destroyed, but nothing as bad as it would have been,” Rheil said and then added, “And then of course we lost Nenani.”

“How’s Farris and the lads?”

“Ruined,” Rheil said. “Farris sent Yale home for a few days to grieve in the comfort of his mother’s home. Everyone else is carrying on, but...you can tell.”

Keral rumbled noncommittally. Inside the pack, Nenani was miserable. She hated the idea that her very dear friends were in pain, believing her to be dead. For the life of her, she could not understand why she could not just go see them. She had to quell the swell of sadness before she began to spark. Another door opened and together, Rheil and Keral entered the King’s private study. The very place that Nenani had been brought months earlier to face the King for her own petty crimes. She hoped that he would be as kind to her mother.

“Keral,” came the angry voice of the King. “I hope you bring news of the Smoke Mage and how me might bring him to justice. Because I have a pike I’m sure his head would fit on nicely.”

“Your Majesty,” Keral replied and Nenani could swear she could hear the smirk in his voice. “I come to you bringing everything.”

“Explain yourself, then. Because right now I’d very much like to tear that human into pieces for what he did to my son and to that little girl.”

Keral very slowly sat his pack onto the ground, but made no motion to reveal its contents. Beside her, Nenani’s mother reached out and gripped her daughter’s hand and Nenani squeezed back.

“Fer months I’ve been chasing this shadow that we now know is a Smoke Mage. It’s attacked the villages, several people, and then killed a man. The Hill Tribes are the only ones to have reportedly seen the thing and none of the reports match one another. Then we have a seemingly happenstance Wyvern attack here at the castle. Maevis didn’t think it was so happenstance, though. There was...some weird magic all around it. Then Farris’s lil’ ward admitted to me that she had seen a man she claimed was “made of smoke” during the attack. During which he attempted to kill her. He did not succeed and after the wyvern had been killed, the Smoke Mage was no where to be found.”

“Keral,” came Maevis’s voice, but he did not sound at all like himself. “We know all of this, why do you need to...”

“Maevis, please,” Keral said. “It’s taken me a good while to string all this together. Once it’s all laid out, what comes next will make more sense.”

“Apologies. Please continue.”

“Then a field scout reports to me that a dragon’s attacked Vhasshal. On my way back, I spotted the damn thing and followed it for a half league or so. If the Smoke Mage is using these beasts, I might be able to find where he’s hiding. Just as it flies over the Daehil Nenani river, the fucker explodes.”

There came a weighted silence as Keral’s words were mulled over.

“The dragon...exploded?” came the incredulous voice of the King.

“Yep. Big ol’ ball of flames. Ripped the damn thing’s jaw clean off and it fell into the river. Then the river caught fire.”

Maevis made a strange sound of surprise as though he was choking on air.

“The river...caught fire?” Rheil asked incredulously. “...like at Riftside?”

“Aye, s’what I said and yeah. Looked the same too. And the closer I got to where the dragon fell, I could hear somethin’. Or rather, someone. Screamin’ their fuckin’ lungs out and each time they did, the fire got bigger and bigger.”

“A fire mage,” said the King, his voice serious. “You found a fire mage?”

“Aye, a right an’ proper fire mage.”

“Keral, sir,” came Barnaby’s shaking voice. “You...you don’t mean to tell us that...”

“She was in the water screamin’ her little head off. No worse fer wear ‘cept being torn from her wits and senses. Suppose almost being eaten by a dragon’ll do that to anyone, let alone a wee lass.”

“Answer me plain, Keral. Who did you find?”

“Nenani. She was sparkin’ up a storm and gettin’ ready t’light whole valley up.”

“Nenani? She...bloomed?” Maevis asked. “But what of...”

“You mean she is alive?” Rheil asked.

“Keral, where is she now?” the King demanded.

Light flooded into the pack once more as Keral lifted the top away and reached inside for Nenani and pulled her out. “She’s right here.”

He sat her gently onto the King’s large desk and her eyes were still adjusting to the light when there came many voices of surprise and elation. The King sat in his chair behind the desk and to his right stood Rheil. They looked at her as though she were a ghost and she supposed she sort of was, but it wasn’t a moment later that Rheil broke out into a wide smile. Then Barnaby was suddenly at her side, wrapping his arms around her and crying. “Oh, Nenani, you are alive!” he cried. “Praise the Seven Seals! Gods above!”

“Dear child,” Maevis said, breathless with relief and when she looked up into his honey colored eyes, he was smiling warmly, holding one hand to his heart. “We were sure he had killed you.”

“I’m sorry for worrying you,” she said, burying her face into the old man’s shoulder. “I’m sorry.”

“Oh, pish-posh! You haven’t a thing to be sorry for! What an idea, apologizing for being attacked by a dragon!” Barnaby said, pulling her away from himself to study her over. “Oh, young master Jae will be so glad to hear you’re safe.”

“And Farris,” Rheil added. He looked to Keral with an expression that was meant to be admonishing, but was tainted by his own relief. “You mean to say you had her stashed in there the entire time I was telling you how upset everyone was? You’re terrible.”

Looking as smug as the cat that just caught the biggest rat, Keral shrugged. “Ha! She ain’t the only thing I have in here,” Keral replied. “And if ye thought her bit was fantastical, well...” Keral reached down into the pack. “Come on then, lass. Up ye get, now.”

With a gentle hand, Keral helped Oira step from the pack and onto the desk. She was very pale and she held her hands clasped together as though to hide the fact that she was trembling. The gathered Vhasshalans looked to her in mute confusion and expectation. The King, however, was looking at her with a sharp and suspicious eye.

Barnaby’s hands left Nenani’s shoulders and he stared at Oira, mouth agape. In turn, Oira stared back and when recognition struck her, it was as though a damn had broke and she broke into a sob. “Oh, Master Barnabas...”

Barnaby slowly walked towards her, reaching out in an almost disbelieving fog. His wrinkled and worn hands cupped the woman’s face and he had tears in his eyes. “My dear girl. Oh, I dared not hope...that it might be true. That somehow...you had survived. Dear child...”

“You don’t know how good it is to see you,” Oira laughed through her tears and hugged the old archivist tightly. Though he readily returned the sentiment, his face was one of regret and pain.

“Barnaby,” said the King when the two parted and the old man had a moment to compose himself. Though his words were genial enough, there was suspicion in his eyes and his back was straight and stiff. “Might you be so good as to make the introductions for us?”

“Ah! Of course, forgive me, sire,” the older man said hastily and took a formal bow. “My lords, I have the immense honor and privilege to introduce to you all, Flowered Princess Aine Elaine Oira, Duchess of Ravenwood, and sixth child of the late King Haeral XVI.”

Nenani could see the way her mother seemed to tense up as her name and titles was said aloud and she did not meet anyone’s gaze. For several moments, no one spoke and the King stared into her with sharpness that made Nenani feel uneasy.

“Annie,” said the King softly, his eyes piercing. “You’re Annie.”

Oira did not meet his eye and only nodded in mute confirmation. The King’s gaze roamed over her figure, taking in her story that was written plainly on her body. Her hair cut shot, her neck marred with old scars, and most of all her demeanor. She carried herself much in the same way Nenani had when she faced his judgment and his eyes flickered between Oira and Nenani and there was a spark of recognition.

“We had thought my father slaughtered you with the rest of your kin,” King Warren said though not unkindly. “How ever did you survive?”

“Your Majesty...” she said, her head bowed and voice unsteady. “I...I have something to tell you. And I...I beg you to allow me to finish what I have to say without pause. Because if I stop, I am afraid I will never be able to finish and what I have to say you need to know. It is your right and I have taken far too long in coming to you.”

Warren considered her for a moment and then gestured to her. “You have the floor, m’lady.”

“...the night that Crown Prince Thadeus died,” she began and there was a palpable shift in the room. Muscles tensed and eyes narrowed, but she pressed on. If she stopped now, the words would never come. “He was in Silvaara because I asked him to come. I needed his aide. To leave. I...I had been banished by my father for defying him and taking a man not my betrothed. I was carrying his bastard child and he refused to allow her to be born under his sigil. He had Master Barnabas remove me from the archives so it was as though I never existed. He is wrong to call me a Princess because I have not held the right to that title in more than a decade.” She took a deep fortifying breath. “The man to whom I had been promised is named Aidus. When I was banished, he refused to accept it and he would not let me go. He tried to kill the child still inside me, but Thadeus stopped him.”

She took a breath.

“Aidus killed Crown Prince Thadeus when he tried to save me and my unborn child and the man that would become my husband. He told us to run and Aidus killed him for it.” She quickly dabbed at her flowing tears and continued on quickly before her courage ran dry. “I could not come to you to tell you the truth of it, because I feared your father’s wrath. That he might kill me and my baby and Hayron. So I stayed away while the war waged on. All these years I thought that your father still lived. So we hid away in the Southlands. But Aidus found us again just as I learned I was with child once more. He killed my husband and took me away and I was forced to leave my brother in law and young daughter. I was able to convince him that the son I bore was his blood so he would not kill him.

“But last year he threatened to kill my baby boy when he showed no promise of ever blooming. So I ran away with him. The Smoke Mage who had been ravaging your lands is Aidus. He has been looking for me. And also my daughter so that he may use her to force me to return to him.”

Oira was trembling terribly and her eyes swam with tears.

“Above everything, sire, the one thing I wish for you to know is how much I deeply regret involving the Prince in my matters and leading him to his death. I do not ask for forgiveness as I know I do not deserve it, but I beseech your mercy that my children may rely upon your protection. If Aidus gets the chance, he will kill them both and they’re the last of my father’s bloodline. If Silvaara is ever to live on, even as a memory, so must they.”

The room became very quiet and Nenani could see all the hard faces of the Vhasshalans gathered. All but Keral wore expressions of anguish and anger and it was almost as if she could feel their gazes upon her mother’s shaking form.

“Please,” Oira said lastly, her voice faint and wavering. “They’re innocent in this...they’re only just children...”

“My lady, are...are you alright?” Barnaby asked, reaching out to grasp Oira’s hand. Her eyes were unfocused and listless and all at once she crumbled to the floor as every muscle holding her up failed her. Barnaby fell to his knees, looking upon the Princess in anguish. “Oh –! Oh my lady!”

It seemed to break everyone from their introspection as they looked down at the unconscious woman. Keral stepped up and slipped his hand behind her shoulders and propped her up. “Oi, lass. Come on now, stay with us.”

“Gods above, m’lady!” Barnaby fretted, wiping his hands down her face and lightly patting her cheek, but there was no response. “Oh, please, answer me dear.”

“Mama!” Nenani went to her mother’s side. Her skin was clammy. “Mama? What’s wrong with her?”

“Don’t worry Sweetling. She’s just fainted is all,” Keral replied and looked to King Warren, who stared broodingly over the proceedings, his eyes shining. “After I fished Nenani from the river, she came out of the woods and tried to sneak away with her. She thought I meant t’hurt her girl. When I told her where I was takin’ the lil ‘un, she asked me to take her lil’ boy as well. Then she told me what she’s just told all of ye. Took a grand effort fer me to get her here. Fretted the entire way. Not all that surprised he fainted.”

Nenani let their conversations wash over her as she stared at her mother’s prone form. How many times did she wish for her mother to miraculously appear and make her feel better. To protect her. To chase away the nightmares. But now that she had actually appeared, Nenani felt...disappointed. And it made her hate herself for feeling that way. Her mother was broken and hurt and even she could see in her mother’s eyes the scars left from baring the life she had for so many years. In all her wishing, it had always been for her mother to come save her, but now she could not shake the feeling that it was her mother that needed saving. She was dimly aware of her hands beginning to glow, but she felt no desire to quell them. She wanted to feel the pain and to scream out like she did at the river. For that release. It hurt. It hurt so much to see her mother this way. So changed from the person shew knew. She hated him for what he did to her. Aidus was a monster and she hated him...

“Gods above!” came Barnaby’s startled yelp. “Nenani–!”

“Sweetling,” Keral said shortly. “Yer sparkin’ again, lass.”

She looked down at herself to see her hands and forearms up to her elbows were glowing and the fainted flames flickering at her finger tips.  

“Calm, my friends. It is to be expected,” said Maevis as he reached out and gathered her up into his gloved hands, wholly unconcerned with the flames. Looking into his face, Nenani could see him smiling sadly at her. “She is newly bloomed and the current state of emotions do not lend for a calm environment. Her feelings are feeding the mage fire, but it is harmless. A fire mage has to be taught how hurt people with their flames. It does not come naturally.” He brushed a finger against her cheek and Nenani pressed her face into the touch. “You’re alright, my dear. No harm done.”  

The King said nothing as he rose abruptly from his seat, the sound of the wood scraping loudly, and he walked to the window; drawing everyone’s attentions to him. He raised an arm up and rested against the glass as he stared at the world beyond its pane. “I never could understand,” he said at last. “Why my brother would have been in Silvaara. There was no reason for it to anyone’s knowledge. My father was so grief stricken that he would hear nothing of it unless it was to blame Silvaarans for luring him there under false pretenses. To deliberately invoke a war. Because how else did he get there? He must have gone under his own volition. And I suppose that was true.”

Warren turned his head so as to look upon the woman laying unconscious atop his desk, his eyes narrowed.

“Sire,” Barnaby said, his face pleading. “I beg of you to show her your mercy. She was but a girl at the time. Barely seventeen and with child and facing banishment from her home and having herself erased from the history of our country. There was no malice in her actions, she was only scared. She loved your brother.”

“Calm yourself, Barnabas. You do not need to fear for her,” said the King as he turned back to face the room. His eyes lingering upon Oira’s face and the hard steel of his eyes softened. “I do remember her. Thadeus considered her an intimate friend. And though it pains me greatly to know that such amiable feelings were what brought him to the scene of his own death, I do not blame Annie. She did not kill Thadeus, whatever the guilt she carries. This Aidus person was the one to drive the blade into my brother’s heart. My eldest brother’s memory is one of the last pure things I have left of my family. I cherish it beyond words knowing he was a good man. A true friend and if he had been given the chance, a noble King.” He took a breath and released it slowly. “And if he were here right now, he would not blame the Princess in the least. Nor shall I.” The King looked to Nenani and seeing the fretful way she stared back, he smiled warmly. “You have nothing to fear, Nenani. I shall see to it that your mother is taken care of and is given the rest and care she needs.”

“Thank you, sire,” she said, though the flames of her hands only diminished minutely and she looked down at them glumly.

“And should you feel any shame or misgivings of having bloomed,” he added. “Please know that you are still under my protection. You’re new...talent does nothing to change that.”

The flames slowly faded and dispersed and she smiled through her own tears. “Okay.”

“Hm,” Warren said with a nod before shifting his focus to the Ranger Captain. “Keral, she spoke of another child. A son. Do we know where he is?”

“Oh, aye. Little buggars’s sleepin’ right here in my pack there,” Keral replied and eased Oira back down onto the table. Pulling up the pack, he reached inside to scoop up the sleeping child and holding him out as though to show him off to those gathered around. Haiyer was curled up and quietly sucking on his hand, the bluish stone Nenani had given him gripped tightly in the other, and he oblivious to everything and everyone around him. The King broke out into a wide smile as he looked upon the boy.

“My goodness, he is a little thing,” he said. “Just a babe.”

“Skittish lil’ tyke too,” Keral said with a frustrated huff. “Had to tell him humans taste like dirt so he would believe me when I said I wasn’t gonna eat ‘im.”

“Gods above,” Rheil chuckled, rolling his eyes.

“What is his name?” asked the King.

“Haiyer,” Nenani answered from Maevis’s cupped hands. “His name is Haiyer.”

“Haiyer,” Barnaby said with a sad smile. “Named for his paternal Grandfather. He was the Thorn Guard Captain. Hayron was his eldest son.”

There was a small whine from Keral’s hand and Nenani looked to see that Haiyer has woken up and was now looking at the giants around him with unapologetic terror. He began to whimper in fright.

“Oi, now,” Keral said down to the little boy. “What’s all this noise fer, lad? Yer safe.”

“Mama...” the child whined as he looked around and when he finally spotted her down below and unconscious, he started to wail. “MAMA!”

It was then that Oira began to stir, her eyes slowly opening and Barnaby helped her to sit up. “Slowly, m’lady,” Barnaby said. “That’s it.”

“MAMA!” Haiyer cried again.

Oira suddenly jolted, becoming alert and frantic as she looked around herself. “Haiyer? Where is Haiyer?”

“Calm down, lass,” Keral said as he brought his hand down to let the boy scramble off and throw himself into his mother’s arms. “The pup’s just had a bit of a fright.”

“You’re alright, baby,” she whispered to him. Oira looked around and belatedly saw the large Vhasshalans around her and she blushed a fierce scarlet. “My...my apologies, m’lords.”

The King reached down to pick up the small brass bell the laid to the side of his desk and gave it a single firm ring. A footman opened the door. “M’lord?”

“Inform Lolly that we have guests and have her prepare the Blossom room for Human use,” he said. “And bring Yaesha to me. He is to bring both Sawyer and his kit.”

“Very good, m’lord.” The footman left and the King returned his gaze to the young mother and still whimpering child trying to bury themselves into her skirts.

“M’lady, I understand the difficult circumstances that have brought you here to me,” he said, firmly, but not without kindness. Oira was listening with brittle attention, still looking quite pale and ill. “And I thank you for telling me the truth of my brother’s death, despite your clear apprehension in doing so. I will not speak of all that followed. There is no one here who had not been touched by the war. Too much of our lives have been devoted to it and it haunts too many of us still. I would have you know that you have no reason to fear retribution from neither me nor my house. Thadeus’s murder was not your doing nor do I blame you for what happened. What young mother wouldn’t do everything she could for her child?”

The King’s words seemed to make her mother wilt in relief and she hugged her son closer to her breast, fresh tears pouring from her eyes. “I...I am so very glad to hear you say so, m’lord. So very glad. I thank you for your mercy.”

With sympathetic eyes, Warren studied the woman who could not even meet his eye. The little boy peeked out from his mother’s sleeve, watching the King warily and monarch smiled down at him. “I can see plainly you have had a hard life. As such, I would like the opportunity to honor my brother’s legacy and extend an invitation to you and your son to stay here in Vhasshal, under my protection. Just as you daughter has these passed months. A room will be prepared for you and your children within the royal apartments so you may rest and recover in peace.”

She nodded again, stifling a sob.

“Annie,” the king said and waited until she had composed herself enough to meet his eye. “I am glad to see you again.”

[searchingwardrobes]

Self-Promo Sunday: A Place Only You Can Go

Summary: It’s 6a, and Killian has just moved in with Emma. She feels a panic attack coming on, but she thinks she can’t let him see her like this . . . Killian proves her wrong.

This is a deleted scene set vaguely sometime in season six. They’ve recently moved in together, Killian knows about Emma’s visions, and Emma knows about the shears.

Rating: G on Ao3, but I know think it should be T simply because of the description of a panic attack, which could be a trigger for some.

Lyrics from the song of the same name by needtobreathe.

On Ao3 until Sunday, January 12th.

Words: a little over 1k

Tagging the usuals: @snowbellewells​ @kmomof4​ @whimsicallyenchantedrose​ @welllpthisishappening​ @bethacaciakay​ @teamhook​ @xhookswenchx​ @distant-rose​ @let-it-raines​ @resident-of-storybrooke​@optomisticgirl​ @wellhellotragic​ @profdanglaisstuff​ @thislassishooked​ @stahlop​ @snidgetsafan​ @spartanguard​ @jennjenn615​ @nikkiemms​ @hollyethecurious​ @branlovestowrite​  @carpedzem​ @tiganasummertree​ @scientificapricot​ @winterbaby89​ @shireness-says​ @delirious-latenight-laughs​ 

Pain is alive in a broken heart The past never does go away We were born to love And we're born to pay The price for our mistakes Grace, she comes with a heavy load Memories, they can't be erased Like a pill I swallow, he makes me well But leaves an awful taste Oh, I know this song won't do Enough to prove my love to you In my heart you'll always know There is a place only love can go There is a place only you can go

Emma listened to Killian’s even breaths beside her, then she rolled over towards him and watched him breathe. In. Out. Maybe seeing him sleeping so calmly would settle her own heart back to an even rhythm. Yet the more she watched his chest rise and fall, the more erratic her own became. She rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling, struggling to control the air invading her lungs, but the harder she tried, the more she gasped. Her heart was beating so hard, she was amazed it hadn’t awakened Killian. She pressed her hand to her chest and pushed. Was she having a heart attack? But no, she couldn’t be. She had seen her death. And it wasn’t here in her bed.

The sheets and blankets were suddenly much too suffocating, and she suppressed the urge to fling them aside. Instead she eased her way out from under them, careful not to disturb the man beside her. Then she tiptoed as softly as she could to the master bathroom, although her limbs shook beneath her.

Once she closed the door behind her, she practically collapsed onto the cool tile floor. She eased backwards, pressing herself against the wall and curling her knees up to her chin. Her breaths were coming shorter and faster now, and she was gasping like that mermaid she remembered flopping around on Killian’s deck in Neverland. She rocked back and forth, wishing she could breathe normally again, but nothing seemed to help. And her heart thumped so loudly now, it rang in her ears.

“Swan?”

The concerned voice was accompanied by light spilling through the open bathroom door. Emma gasped even more at the sight of Killian standing there, wreathed in the light from the bedside lamp. The blue flannel pajama pants she had bought for him hung low on his waist, and the low light cast shadows along his bare chest. He had only moved in a few days ago, so she could count on just one hand the number of times she had seen him without his brace. The sight still brought tears to her eyes for some reason. Of course, tears seemed just below the surface on a constant basis lately.

She burst into them now – the tears. Her breath came in wheezing gasps now as they coursed hotly down her face. Killian said nothing, merely dropping to the floor beside her. He rubbed her back slowly, saying nothing at first. Not until her tears slowed and she was no longer full-out sobbing.

“Don’t push the air out when you exhale, just let it come.” Emma just nodded as she did as he instructed, lack of oxygen making it almost impossible to speak.

“That’s my lass,” he encouraged as he shifted them both around. He slid behind her so that she was leaning her back against his chest. His arms encircled her. “Breathe with me,” he told her, “in . . . out . . . slow and easy.”

It felt like it took hours, but finally Emma’s breathing slowed and her heart stopped racing. Still, Killian held her. She turned towards him, wrapping her arms around his neck. He gathered her in his lap like a child and ran his fingers through her hair. He pressed his lips against her hair, but still he said nothing.

“I’m sorry, Killian,” she finally whispered.

“What’s there to be sorry for?” he asked her sincerely.

She let out a long, shuddering breath, and for one terrifying moment, she feared the panic attack would start all over again. She pressed her eyes shut tight and counted to ten as she imagined breathing against Killian’s chest again. “For falling apart.” Emma was surprised at the tiny sound of her own voice. She wondered if he even heard. But then he held her tighter, and she knew he had.

“I’ll repeat myself,” he said firmly, “that is nothing you need to apologize for. Strength is many things. And this? This is strength too, love.”

In that moment, Emma was surprised to realize that her greatest fear had been disappointing him. Or simply being too much. After all, never had she opened herself up to someone so completely. Never had she shared a home this way. Outside of the loft with her parents, this was the only home she had ever had. Period.

“I guess,” Emma whispered against his collarbone, “I guess I have that same fear I used to have as a foster kid. That I’ll be too much trouble, you know?”

Killian kissed her forehead. “I lived on a pirate ship with a sorry lot of uncouth, disgusting men who rarely bathed. Believe me, darling, you’ll never be too much trouble.”

Emma managed to laugh at that, though she knew there was sincerity behind his teasing. “I’m tired,” she told him, nuzzling against Killian’s jaw.

He stood smoothly with her still in his arms and carried her to the bed. When he got in with her, she cuddled against his side, pulling his left arm across her body. She held his stump with her right hand, her thumb caressing the edges.

“Killian?”

“Mmhm?”

“How did you know what to do for my panic attack?” Emma had suffered from them all of her life, though she hadn’t had one since right after giving up Henry. In all those years, she had suffered alone, struggling through them, thinking she was dying, but not wanting anyone to see her as weak.

No, as a burden. She didn’t want anyone to think she was a burden.

“Well,” Killian answered, shifting so that they were facing one another, his right hand resting on her hip, “I never called them that, but something similar used to happen to me when I was a lad. Liam did what I just did for you – getting me to breathe with him.”

Emma reached out and caressed his cheek, “You’re the only person who’s ever seen me have one.”

Killian’s brow furrowed. “Not even Neal?”

“No,” Emma sighed, “I had one – once – when we were together. I locked myself in a bathroom. Lied and told him I got sick.” She paused for a moment, biting her lip as she regarded him. “What about Milah?”

Killian turned his face to kiss her palm. “I only had them when I was a lad. Never told anyone about them. Until now.”

“I haven’t had one since I got out of jail. I don’t know why it’s happening again.” A tear slipped from her eye, and Killian caught it as it fell.

“You’ve been through a lot love, we both have.”

Emma leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. When she pulled away, she smiled tenderly at him. “Thank you for letting me be a mess. For loving me enough that I can be real.”

He smiled back and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “And I feel the same about you.”

Killian drew her close once again and she fell asleep in the circle of his arms, her breaths matching his. In. Out.

Take my notions and words to heart This is the cry of a man I can't bring you fortune or noble life But I'll love you all I can Oh, I know this song won't do Enough to prove my love to you In my heart you'll always know There is a place only you can go

[doritopaw101]

Arc1, book 2: Chapter 1

Icebelly felt Sandstorm shiver beside him as she stirred. Being thin furred had benefits in hot weather but with leaf-bare approaching it definitely had its downsides. He shuffled his forepaws on the hard earth and pulled Sandstorm closer with his fluffy tail, she narrowed her eyes for a moment then leaned into the touch. Her shoulder must still be aching despite the herbs Yellowfang gave her, not like the cut on his neck was much better, it was shocking how he didn't get an infection. The sky was finally growing light as dawn crept slowly in. But even though his paws were cold, Icebelly could not suppress a glow of pride. After many moons as an apprentice, he was a warrior at last.

Icebelly looked around as the clan woke. Sparrowpelt was one of the first. Icebelly could see the old tom moving among the shadows in the elder's den. He glanced toward the warrior's den at the other side of the side of the clearing. Through the branches that sheltered the den, he recognized the broad shoulders of Tiger-roar as he slept with Whitestorm on his left and Lionheart underneath him on his right. The golden tom seemed to be covering a large belly scar, from how he got it he didn't know.

At the foot of Highrock, the lichen that draped the entrance to Bluestar's den twitched, and Icebelly saw his Clan leader push her way out. She stopped and lifted her head to sniff the air. Icebelly could see the faint outline of a tortoiseshell molly. Her white tail draped over Bluestar's back it seemed she was whispering something to her that he couldn't make out. The tortoiseshell obviously looked like Thunderclan born. She bore scars on her back and neck fluff, it seemed to drip onto the ground and only him and Bluestar could see it. The molly seemed to be done because she disappeared as quickly as she came. Bluestar then padded silently out of Highrock's shadow, her fur glowing blue-gray in the dawn light.

It also appeared that the molly wasn't the only spirit roaming around. Icebelly saw Thrushpelt smile with pride as he watched Graypaw and Cranepaw playing. He also saw Goosefeather circle him "You've done well kit, let's hope that lasts for your path ahead" he started to fade and he saw why when he saw Leopardstorm pad over.

"Glad to see dawn, you two?" the pointed tom mewed, his eyes showed sympathy but also pride for them. For a moment, Icebelly thought he saw pity, it made his blood cold for a moment.

They both nodded in response. Icebelly resisted the urge to yawn.

Leopardstorm chuckled "It's alright you make speak now. Your vigil is over"

"Thank you, Leopardstorm" Sandstorm mewed gratefully as she stood and stretched her stiff legs one at a time "I thought the sun would never come up!"

"Get some needed rest or eat" Leopardstorm advised "Do either of you need your wounds checked?"

"I don't think so" Sandstorm replied "Mine have healed well thanks to Thyme and Yellowfang's healing"

"Are you sure? Those marks in your back look nasty" Leopardstorm pressed

"I'll check again after a nap" Sandstorm reassured

"What about you Icebellly?" Leopardstorm asked

"I'll mange" Icebelly mewed "I just want to sleep for a while"

"Very well" Leopardstorm nodded

Icebelly felt Leopardstorm place a paw on his shoulder "You saw them didn't you" he whispered "Thrushpelt and Goosefeather"

He only gave a nod in reply. "Bluestar was right, you are full of surprises" he chuckled as he padded over to Miststrike and Nettlemist who were grooming Seedpaw, Littlekit,Sleetkit, and Marigoldkit as they laid in the sunlight.

"I'm gonna sleep this off" Sandstorm padded over to the warriors den, her green eyes tired "You still coming or are you gonna chow down instead?"

"I'mma sleep," Icebelly replied. Sandstorm was easier to deal with when sleep deprived.

Him and Sandstorm made their way over to the warrior's den. Icebelly stuck his head through the low-hanging branches. Mousefur and Birchstep were still asleep on the other side of the den.

"Hey you two" he heard Cherrycloud call "Me and Embereyes made your nests, come over"

Him and Sandstorm didn't need to be told twice. Sandstorm crashed onto her nest with a small thump. Her nest was beside Chestnutclaw and Cherrycloud's by the scent. Her steady breathing turned into small snores.

Icebelly felt equally exhausted, his eyes began to close, and he gave in to his longing for sleep.

-Dream-

Icebelly could hear a roaring around him, like wind in tall trees. The acrid stench of the Thunderpath stung his nostrils, together with a new smell, sharper and more terrifying. Fire! Flames lapped at the black sky, throwing glowing cinders up into a starless night. To Icebelly's amusement, silhouettes of cats flitted in front of the fire. Why hadn't they run away?

One of them stopped and looked straight at Icebelly. The tom's night-eyes glinted in the darkness and he lifted his long, straight tail, as if in greeting.

He recognized the pelt, Duskstar!

-Dream ends-

"Wake up, Icebelly!"

Icebelly flicked up his head, startled out of his dream by Tiger-roar's mighty growl.

"You were mewling in your sleep" he mewed, his tone softer. He drew a quick lick on Icebelly's head "Everyone could hear you, we were concerned"

Icebelly sat up and shook away his daze "Sorry Tiger-roar" he didn't want the massive tom to wonder what he was dreaming about, dreams only medicine cats or seers should have. To be honest, he didn't want to worry his former mentor either.

"Are you alright?" Tiger-roar asked "I know it must've been horrible in Shadowclan"

"Y..yeah, just a bad dream"

Moonlight shone through the leafy den wall. Icebelly realized he must have slept through the whole day.

"You and Sandstorm are allowed to join the evening patrol" Tiger-roar asked him "Would you like to join?"

Icebelly took a breath then nodded "Yeah, I'll join"

"Let's go" the dark tabby turned and stalked out of the den. Icebelly quickly shook himself and followed after the two-colored tabby, he leaned against the older tom and Tiger-roar let him "Keep up Iceball"

/

The next night brought the full moon, the gathering. He tried to calm himself, he almost wished he agreed for Yellowfang to give him poppyseeds. He stayed mostly to himself throughout the patrol and embarrassingly stuck to Tiger-roar and Sandstorm like a kit.

He kept touching the scar on the side of his throat, he really didn't mean too. He didn't know why, it was a reminder of him. He couldn't even say his name in his thoughts.

"Thunderclan" Bluestar called "Tonight is the gathering, the cats joining us will be Nightshade, Tiger-roar, Fogtail, Gingerblaze, Brindleface, and Mossthorn. Elders are allowed to join if you wish" she glanced at Sandstorm then at Icebelly "Icebelly Sandstorm, do you two feel ready to go to a gathering?"

Sandstorm scoffed "Don't why you're asking me that" she padded over to the gathering patrol "I'm a warrior now, I want to hear my clanmates cheer my name for all to hear and the other clans quake in fear of me"

"The clans quake at our strength" Larkpaw mewed, her blue eyes gleamed with excitement

"Yeah, legs are shaking" Palepaw added

The clan's atmosphere got lighter with youth ignorance.

Icebelly honestly didn't want to go but he felt he owed it to himself to go to stick it to...Brokenstar and Dewflare. He didn't say the full extent of what happened to him and to his knowledge neither did Sandstorm. "She came back with minor injuries and slept most of the time" Thymepaw had said "The wound we were concerned about was the back scar"

Sandstorm wasn't saying anything, neither was he, at least not now. He padded over to the gathering patrol "Let's go" he mewed happily

Bluestar smiled "Alright let's go" she turned and led the other cats out of camp. At the top, he paused to catch his breath, his sides heaving. The forest stretched away before him. Beneath his paws he could feel the crisp crackle of newly fallen leaves. Silverpelt glittered in the sky like morning dew scattered on black fur.

The group had paused at the top of the slope that led down to Fourtrees, the giant oaks where cats from the four well three clans met in peace at each full moon. Though Icebelly knew the peace wouldn't last long with Bluestar and Brokenstar on the same rock.

Bluestar lifted her nose and sniffed the air. Icebelly sensed a tightening of muscles and prickling of fur around him. Then Bluestar signaled with a flick of her tail, and the Thunderclan cats plunged down the slope toward the Gathering.

Bluestar halted on the edge of the clearing with her Clan lined up beside her. Some of the cats from Riverclan and Shadowclan turned and acknowledged their arrival. Him and Cherrycloud stayed on the edge of the clearing. While Sandstorm sat beside him. she clearly didn't want to be stuck here but it was clear she didn't want to be anywhere near Shadowclan. Icebelly could easily pick out the apprentices from the other clans-their fur looked kit-soft, their faces round, and their paws plump and clumsy.

"Hey Icepaw" Silverpaw mewed "How've you been?" she flicked her tail and Willowpaw and Minnowpaw padded over.

"Good," he replied. No point in worrying Silverpaw about what he'd through, especially with so many cats around. "It's Icebelly now"

"That's great" Silverpaw purred "I got my warrior name too, it's Silverstream" she turned her head to her sisters "Meet Willowheart and Minnowpool"

"Congrats" he replied "Those names fit you three well, what's your day Silverstream?"

"Molly" the gray tabby replied

Icebelly saw Wetpaw nervously pad over to him with Littlepaw,Brownpaw, and Oak-kit well Oakpaw in tow.

"Hey" he mewed nervously. Icebelly felt his back fur rise slightly despite him trying to fight it.

"Hi" He felt Sandstorm tense beside him

"Stand a good bit away" she hissed

Wetpaw surprisingly obeyed "I got the name Wetfoot" he flicked his tail "Littlepaw is Littlecloud and Brownpaw is Brownwhisker now" turned his blue gaze on the apprentice "I'm sure you recognize Oakpaw, he's my apprentice"

Oakpaw looked up at Icebelly with wide, anxious eyes. "H-hi Icebelly'' he mewed. Icebelly moved his head forward and licked Oakpaw's head, the wound was mostly gone with only a small scar "I'm glad to see you, I'm glad that wound healed well"

"Splinter!" Icebelly turned his head to see Flame approach him, she already looked well fed on fish and she wore a necklace he knew Mallowtail made.

"Umm hey Flame, how's Riverclan life?"

"It's good, Mallowtail made me a necklace as a sign of good fortune" she mewed "though my mentor could be better"

"Who's your mentor?" Sandstorm sneered, her tail flicking

"Leopardclaw" Flamepaw replied, easily shrugging off Sandstorm's attitude from dealing with Princess, Luna, and Icebelly himself.

"Oh jeez good luck with that" Brownwhisker mewed with sympathy "She's one of Riverclan's strongest and meanest warriors from what I've heard, again good luck"

A yowl from the great rock made everyone in the clearing go silent. It came from Bluestar. She stood proud and tall.

"Thunderclan brings two new warriors: Sandstorm and Icebelly"

Icebelly saw Sandstorm puffing out her chest with pride, he stayed still aware of the stars on them but mostly wasn't going to risk looking into Brokenstar's eyes. Bluestar spoke again "Robinwing has given birth to Patchpelt's kits: Chivekit, Stagkit, Shrewkit, and Hawk-kit." she lowered her head "Sadly, Rosetail has died during an attack, I've named Redtail the new deputy of Thunderclan''

'She's not going to call out Shadowclan?' Icebelly thought with confusion

Stormstar stepped forward "Riverclan would like to speak now"

Bluestar nodded as she stepped back.

"Riverclan also brings three new warriors: Willowheart, Minnowpool and Silverstream"

Icebelly caught Silverstream's eyes, the silver molly winked at him earning a smirk from Icebelly.

"We have three new apprentices this moon in Flamepaw apprenticed to Leopardclaw, Grasspaw apprenticed to Skyeyes, and Vixenpaw apprenticed to Morningriver"

"We also are blessed with the promise of Mallowtail's new litter this moon and the birth of Greenflower's kits: Tidekit, Poolkit, Eelkit, and Heronkit"

Icebelly could see cats giving Frogleap their congrats on his upcoming litter, kits are always a blessing to a clan.

"Can't wait to get back to them" Silverstream mewed "I've been helping her take care of them"

"Already becoming a mom Silverstream?" he teased

"Brokenstar? you wish to speak?" Stormstar asked though Icebelly could tell it was forced.

"Yes" he replied gruffly and stepped forward "Shadowclan as well has new warriors in Sootmask, Houndbelly, Duskthorn, Wetfoot, Brownwhisker, and Littlecloud"

Wetfoot and Brownwhisker seemed to beam at their names while Littlecloud just shrunk at the attention. Sootmask smiled and let her sister Houndbelly hide her face in her shoulder. Icebelly found himself meeting Duskthorn's gaze, he nodded to the former housecat and he nodded back. It turned out Duskthorn was the housecat he nearly killed for his old collar.

Brokenstar purred "Shadowclan has seven new apprentices: Oakpaw mentored by Wetfoot, Pinepaw mentored by Badgerfang, Foggypaw mentored by Clawface, Foxpaw mentored by Lizardstripe, Marigoldpaw mentored by myself, and Viperpaw mentored by Mudfoot"

The apprentices smiled as their names were cheered.

"Shadowclan's nursery has many new members: "We have the promise of Whitethroat's new litter: Rippedkit and Burdock-kit as well as Newtspeck's new litter: Pricklekit, Whisperkit, and Copperkit. Fernshade, Lizardstripe, and Poppyflower are expected. Shadowclan also has welcomed Boulderpelt's mate, Amberfoot who's expecting his kits"

'So many mouths to feed' Icebelly thought with a shudder, he didn't forget that winter was on it's way and soon. It made him worry for the kits in Thunderclan, would they have enough to feed them.

"It's also why I again advise you Bluestar to share your hunting grounds with my clan, we need it" Brokenstar drawled

Bluestar glared at Brokenstar, she curled her lip "And I'd advise you to tell your mollies not to lift their tails every chance they get, or declare the no breeding code for the time being if your so worried about prey" her voice dripped with sarcasm at the last bit

Many of the cats gasped once more at Bluestar's words.

"Did..Did she just call them whores?" Willowheart asked, eyes wide

"I think she just did" Icebelly replied, just as stunned but chuckling a little

"Go mom" Silverstream smirked

"Excuse me?" Brokenstar looked confused and outraged at the same time. Stormstar stared at this display, his crooked jaw hanging in shock.

"Did I stutter Brokentail, over my dead body will you have rights to Thunderclan's hunting grounds and even then I'll come from Starclan and bury you so deep in the ground even the maggots won't get to you, you'll go back to your camp knowing how foolish and mortal Raggedstar was to make you her heir, I'll be death on a hawk's wings on every little piece of your self worth"

Brokenstar was left speechless for a moment then hissed profanities and Bluestar hissed right back

"Bluestar's really something" Wetfoot commented

"She was made leader for a reason" Sandstorm purred, her claws unsheathed a little "Shadowclan best remember that before they get burned"

Brownwhisker and Wetfoot hissed at her jab.

"How's Whitethroat?" Icebelly asked, turning his gaze to Littlecloud and Oakpaw "And the queens?"

"Whitethroat's okay as can he can be, the kits are healthy so far" Littlecloud replied softly "Mossclaw isn't much help of course"

"My mom says she misses you" Oakpaw chuckled "They all miss you"

"Tangleburr misses me?" Icebelly mewed in surprise then he smiled "Tell them I miss them as well, grow to be a great warrior Oakpaw"

Oakpaw beamed "I will"

"Look!" Yellowfang yowled her nose pointing at the sky

The two leaders gazed up and saw that the clouds began to cover the moon.

"Starclan are angry" Mudfur called

"Shadowclan to me" Brokenstar ordered as he leaped from the Great Rock. The Shadowclan cats quickly followed after their leader.

"Bye Icebelly" Wetfoot mewed softly he padded after his clan with Oakpaw in tow

"Well that was expected" Cherrycloud said

"No shit" Icebelly replied with a roll of his eyes

His attention was on Bluestar and Stormstar. Bluestar seemed to be stopping Stormstar from leaving, she was whispering something to the gray tabby. Something insulting by the looks of Stormstar's snarl. The Riverclan seemed to calm himself before muttering something to Bluestar.

Then and only then did Bluestar move out of the way.

[mymelodyheart]

Forget Me Not Chapter 16 ~Love Complex~

Claire stirred to the sound of pan hitting the hob, followed by Louise's voice asking how the coffee machine works. A door closing and mugs clacking on a surface followed, permeating her consciousness. Still half asleep, she turned on her side and took a deep inhale of Jamie's masculine scent, letting it carry her to a sensual daydream. His groans against the crook of her neck bombarded her mind, memories of his arousal sliding home inside her one inch at a time. She thought of how he had lost control in the end, while saying crude things in her ear. Just like a man at the end of his tether.

Images of their lovemaking sensitised her skin, enveloping her in static electricity and rousing her to sudden alertness.  Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ, what time is it?  Claire sat up and looked around, fanning her heated face with her hands. She was about to get out of bed when the door swung open, revealing a barefoot Jamie wearing jeans that hung low on his hips and a worn-in black t-shirt. A dishcloth was tossed carelessly over one shoulder and on one large hand, he balanced a tray of what seemed like breakfast. With finger touseled hair and a lopsided smile, he leaned against the doorjamb and looked at her thoughtfully.

"Oh! You're still here! I thought you'd be at work by now." He didn't reply, the weight of his stare making her self-conscious. "What?" She squashed the urge to fidget.

"I'm trying to decide whether to feed ye or eat ye. The original plan was to kiss ye on your cheek and serve ye muffins and coffee. But that was before, and this is now."

"Oh!" She licked suddenly dry lips. "A-And? Have you decided yet?"

"I can't tell ye, Sassenach, or else I'll have to do it."

She wrapped the bedsheet around her chest, looking for any piece of clothing to wear. "Well, you certainly set the tone," she said, glad that her voice didn't wobble. If she stood up right now, her knees would be another story. "How about some water for a start, huh? I'm parched."

Pushing away from the doorframe, he straightened, kicked the door shut and sauntered to her bedside. After placing the breakfast tray on the bedside table, he sat down next to her. He brought his fingers under her chin and tilted her head up, watching her reaction like a hawk.

"Good morning," he said softly.

"Good morning." Shyly, she slid her hand up his biceps. "What time is it?"

"Seven. Plenty of time." His thumb tugged her lower lip down, looking at it in fascination.

Claire's brain threatened to short-circuit. "Ah, yes. Well, I don't need to be in early." The sexual energy seemed to be sidling around them, and although she wanted to act on it, she knew she needed to get her alcohol-fuzzed bearings first.  Look away from his lips...there's work!  "I only need to run things over with the service staff and some other finishing touches for tomorrow night and then we're ready to go."

"Sassenach?"

"Hmmm."

"You're pinching my arm."

"Oh! Right. Sorry." Snatching her hand away, she clutched the bedsheet around her and attempted to get out of bed, but he grabbed her by the waist and hauled her onto his lap like she weighed nothing. "I was just going to put something on," she explained, as he settled her against him.

After taking a moment to squeeze her hips, he reached out for a small bottle of water from the breakfast tray, opened it and handed it to her. "Drink," he said hoarsely. He had a crease between his eyebrows that hadn't been there before as he watched her drink greedily. "I know ye'll go out with friends once in a while, Sassenach and I want ye to. But I dinna liked the way those lads at the pub were leering at ye last night. So I'm going to be a bastard about this." He rolled his lips inward, and when he released them, he drew out a heavy sigh. "Can ye save performances like ye did last night for night outs with me? Or at least when yer clothes aren't showing yer knickers."

His possessiveness should have irked her, but the look in his eyes spoke volumes of something more than mere proprietorial behaviour. Understanding that Jamie's tone begged her to agree without equivocation, Claire nodded. "Right, no singing in front of men when my knickers are showing or when I'm not with you," she hiccupped, trying to suppress a smile. His serious expression didn't budge, so she ran a finger over the valley between his eyebrows. "After last night's performance, I'd probably be barred from the pub anyway."

Instead of responding, he reached out for a piece of muffin from the breakfast tray and fed it to her. As if her jaw were on a string, it dropped. Looking at him, she took a bite off the freshly baked sponge cake as she watched him centre his focus absentmindedly on her lips while she chewed.

"Another thing," Jamie said slowly as if he didn't understand the words coming out of his own mouth. "No more flirting with Frank. I know I sound like an ass making these demands of ye. It's not that I don't trust ye. It's just that ... it's ... I see how the other lads look at ye, and I ken what they're thinking because I'm thinking of it too. And..."

Claire placed a hand on Jamie's lips and looked at his confused expression. Or is it pained? This beautiful man, who always seemed to ooze self-confidence, looked shattered and appeared to be struggling with insecurities. She couldn't believe she was the reason for it. "This isn't about Frank, is it? And this isn't about last night?" Placing the bottle of water by the bedside table, she turned to face him. "Speak to me, Jamie."

He brushed her hair over her shoulder. "I ken when ye look at me, ye see a man that Annalise already had, and that she may be carrying my child, is not easy for ye. Ye probably think I have nothing left to offer ye that I haven't given away already." Exhaling on shaky breath, he started to massage the nape of her neck. "Believe me when I tell ye, that no one has touched what I've got inside of me for ye, Sassenach. My heart. It is yers. Always has been and always will be." He reached down and took her hand, placing it in the centre of his chest. "Sometimes, I think of all those wasted years when we could have been together. Still, we were young, and most probably, ma and da wouldn't have approved. But ye waited for me even if ye dinna ken it was us ye were waiting for. And I regret that I didn't wait for ye, knowing already then that I was in love with ye. If there was something I could do to change that, I would try my most damn even if it killed me." He brought his mouth over to her ear, breathing against it. "I still cannae believe ye're with me like this. Us. That I can touch ye and know that ye're mine."  

Her chest felt like a dam about to give way, but she quickly sealed the cracks. So many things were going through her head, but clear, honest words were all she could process at the moment. "Jamie, if you think I would leave you because of Annalise, you're wrong. I understand, believe me."

In one lithe movement, he turned her on his lap so that she was straddling him, his big warm hands resting possessively on her backside. "No, I dinna think that. What I'm trying my hardest to say is, I want ye for keeps, Sassenach. Before I even had ye, no one compared. Now that I have, the thought of being with someone else and ye being with someone else makes me insane. Stupid insane. And unless I can wake up and see ye beside me, I don't want to be there. So I want ye to get it through yer head that I mean business, alright?"

Claire's mouth sought his as she leaned forward to reply with a kiss, rubbing circles on his back. "My mixed feelings about Annalise must have been quite obvious, huh?"

Jamie nodded with a smile. "Speaking of Annalise, I received a text from Ned last night. He wants to speak to Willie and me as soon as he arrives from London. I dinna ken for sure if it's anything..." Jamie trailed off when the door suddenly opened. Of their own accord, Jamie's hands immediately pulled up the bedsheet around Claire's half-naked body.

They both turned to see a nonplussed looking Willie standing at the doorway.

"Oh, sorry! Bad time?" 

Jamie's body coiled in tension as he pulled the sheets further up around Claire. "Fuck sake, Willie! You can't barge in here whenever ye feel like it. Ye're no' in Lallybroch."

"Hey, sorry, ok? Won't happen again." Willie's face was inscrutable, as he continued. "Listen, just had a phone call from Ned. He is on his way to see us, but he is slightly delayed. And Claire, please stay away from Lallybroch. I dinna ken why Ned said that but he was too much in a hurry to explain, so we just have to trust his words. And Jamie, Annalise's documents are all fake. She doesn't have cancer, but she is ill. Very ill. The swelling in her belly is not pregnancy. It's liver cirrhosis. So when ye see her later to check up on her, act normal. We don't want her suspecting anything."

"Oh, my God!" Claire breathed. "But she is ill, Willie. She still needs medical attention, doesn't she?" Claire couldn't believe what she was hearing. She tried to turn around, but Jamie kept her still.

Tightening his hold on her, he held her gaze. "Sassenach, we'll worry about that and please do as Willie says. Don't go near Lallybroch. Ned must have found something, so please, stay away from there. Promise me, please?"

"How about ma and da?"

"I'll give them a call now. Promise me, Sassenach, ye will no' go anywhere Lallybroch. Please?" 

The brothers were holding their breath as they waited for Claire's reply, determined to secure an agreement from her. They knew her too well as she was likely to be too stubborn to heed their advice. 

"I promise, ok? Happy now? But please, let me know what's happening. I don't want to be left in the dark, especially if this concerns me."

Jamie nodded to Willie, who then left without saying another word, leaving them alone once again. "I promise I won't leave ye in the dark, Sassenach. As soon as I know something, I will let ye know." Standing up, he lifted her by the waist, so they were stood facing each other. "And I meant what I said earlier. This. Us. For keeps. Tell me that ye want that too."

"For keeps," Claire repeated, her heart lodged in her throat. "I want that too, Jamie."

Oddly her assurance didn't make him any less troubled as he kissed her forehead and left to go to work.

..........

Despite the mild hangover and her sleep-deprived state, Claire felt refreshed after the shower. The brothers have long gone to work, leaving the girls behind. Walking into the kitchen, she was faced with a glum Geillis' sat on kitchen barstool nursing a mug of milky tea, and Louise, chipper like a bird in spring, pottering about the kitchen. Pushing thoughts of Annalise away from her mind, Claire put on her best smile. She didn't want to be consumed with worry when she had enough to fret about with the opening party for tomorrow night.

"Morning, ladies!"

Geillis grunted shoving her long strawberry blond hair away from her face.

" Bonjour,  Claire! Coffee?"

Claire nodded with a smile and a  thank you before sitting opposite Geillis. "Hey, chick! Your hangover that bad?"

Before Geillis could say a word, Louise, plonked a mug of coffee in front of her. "I'm off. You look like you had your breakfast already, Claire, and whatever it was, I want what you had." The French girl gave her a wicked wink and pretended to slither to the floor in a mock swoon. "Anyway, I'm off to get my car and freshen up at home. See you both later at work?" Not waiting for any of them to answer, she was already grabbing her bag and coat.

Good God, did everyone know what Jamie and I were up to this morning?

"By the way, the muffins were gorgeous. Thank you! Drive safe!" Claire called after her before she could make it out the door.

Louise laughed. "It was no bother. I bought it from the bakery earlier. Byeee!"

Once the door closed, she glanced at Geillis, who still hadn't said a word. Usually, a morning person, hanged over or not, Claire knew something was wrong. Fetching a small bottle of mineral water from the fridge, she placed it in front of her friend. "Here, drink this. You need to hydrate after last night. Did you have a rough night?"

Geillis popped the lid off from the bottle and gulped half the water down. "Is it obvious?"

"Yes, quite frankly. You look like you spent the night exorcising a horde of demons."

Geillis winced. "I might need to borrow a concealer from ye. I've run out. It's bad enough I have a naturally pasty complexion."

"I wasn't talking about your skin. Your face looks like thunder, and it's not your nature to sulk. I'm the sulker around here. So, I'm guessing the lousy night had nothing to do with the alcohol. Bad news at home?"

Groaning dramatically, Geillis let her head fall on her arms. "I wouldn't know where to begin."

"Not this again, Geillis. Just start anywhere, and I'll ask questions later if there are holes in your story. And be quick about it. We're both needed at work."

"This is bad, Claire. Really bad. I'm a big girl with a realist's outlook, and because of that, I know how to act accordingly and how to deal with tricky situations when it presents itself ..."

Claire gave her a warning look. "You're stalling. Get to the point."

"So last night." Geillis cleared her throat. "I had sex."

Claire frowned. "Oh!" She started to think back to the night before, but anything she could manage to remember was all a jumble of blurry images.  Geillis and Louise?

"Aye ... oh!" she replied flinching.

"Well?" She waited for Geillis to say more, but she remained silent. "I guess I have to draw it out from you. So, did you sneak out after you came home from the pub or you snuck someone in and did it in the bathroom?"

"Aye, I did some sneaking about." Geillis covered her face, not wanting to look at her. "I snuck into Willie's room to get an extra blanket in the guest room. I thought he was asleep. Then we talked about where I could buy second-hand cars and then one thing led to another. Oh God, Claire, I'm so sorry, but he was just this gorgeous specimen of a man. And he was sat there with no shirt on."

"Sorry?" A grin started to spread on Claire's face. "Why are you, sorry? Are you asking me for permission? Christ, chick! You're both adults, and he's not my brother. And even if he was, it would have been none of my business. This is a great thing, isn't it?"

"No, it isn't great!" Geillis wailed as she closed her eyes, looking very miserable.

"I thought you fancied him. What's wrong with Willie? Was the sex that bad? Oh...oh, wait. I know. He's not a cuddler. Is that it?"

"Sex was great, and it's the best I've ever had. Willie was sweet and caring and all. And aye, I fancy him," Geillis said, opening her tired eyes. "I dinna ken if I want to reveal the next part though..."

Claire cringed. Talking about Willie and the subject sex was just altogether too weird for her. "Well, what the fuck is the problem then?" she asked in an exasperated tone. 

Geillis looked up to the ceiling and everywhere, except at Claire. "Weel, everything was fine until the end... weel until he came in the end..."

"Geillis!" Suddenly, for some reason, Claire had an odd feeling that she wasn't going to like what Geillis was about to say.

"This isn't going to be easy for me to say because Willie really dented my already damaged self-esteem. And it's not bloody fair!" she wailed, her expression a mix of frustration and resentment. "And when he finished in the end, he said your name Claire and twice into my ears as he held me! Jesus, he wasn't making love to me. He was making love to ye. Nae wonder he had his eyes closed the whole time."

"What?!?" Claire was shell-shocked, and it took a moment to focus on a brain freeze. When she finally regained composure, she tried to rationalise with the best plausible answer she could think of. "Geillis, you shouldn't put too much thought into that. He had a bit to drink, and it was probably an honest mistake. He's always having a go at me...you know, Claire this, and Claire that. So, that's probably the reason why he said my name." Although Claire didn't falter as she spoke, her explanation didn't sound convincing at all to her ears. It must sound pretty lame to Geillis.

"Ye've got to be fucking kidding me, Claire. Come on! Even ye're not that naive. He said yer name in the throes of passion, for fuck sake. I appreciate the pep talk and all, but I'm a big girl, and I totally get it when a guy is not on to me, aye?" 

"Listen, Geillis. I can talk to him."   And tell him what wiseass?

Geillis groaned as she lifted herself from the barstool. "Don't bother, Claire. It is what it is. I ken ye're trying to help, and that's really sweet but talking to him will not help at all. It was great sex, and I'm happy with that. End of story. Let's just drop it, ok?" 

No, she couldn't drop it. It was the first time ever, Claire saw her best friend look defeated and discouraged. And she didn't like it at all. The Geillis Claire knew always had solutions and answers to everything even if sometimes, it was a tad bit fantastical and wacky. Her friend had lifted her up so many times, and she wasn't about to let Willie get away with this. Not if she can help it.

..........

At work, Claire immediately headed to the Fraser Manor Inn's kitchen. She hadn't thought much of what she planned to say to Willie as she was too focused on Geillis' hurting. And the last thing she needed was getting Jamie involved.  What are you doing Beauchamp? This is none of your business. Geillis never agreed to this!

As soon as she arrived in the kitchen, she saw Willie preoccupied with the trainees, directing them on how to use the giant rotisserie grill. Summoning all the courage she could muster, she approached him. "Willie, a word please, in my office."

[theladyofdeath]

Perfect

12 Days of Christmas in July {day 5}.

Chaol + Yrene

Written alongside my soulmate, @throne-of-ashes-and-beauty

Chaol was miserable.

He was in the middle of a thousand people, all of whom wanted the same toy as they did. He and Yrene had left right after breakfast and gotten to the mall as soon as it opened...only to be met alongside hundreds of other needy parents.

“Is this necessary?” He mumbled under his breath, unsure if his wife could even hear him.

Yrene’s eyes quickly snapped to his. “This is our first Christmas as a family. It’s going to be perfect.”

He fought the urge to roll his eyes, knowing that would only get him in deeper shit.

“Taylon isn’t even one yet, do you really think he’s going to remember whether or not we got him the-.”

Yrene looked over at him again and he shut right up.

She leaned in and whispered, “The woman behind us brought a map — a map, Chaol! This is clearly not her first time doing this. The family in front of us? They have a list of coordinates. We are severely outmatched here and if these people smell our fear, they’re going to eat us alive!”

Chaol just shook his head, suppressing his laughter. When Yrene put her heart and mind into something, it was all or nothing. It was one of the many reasons why he had fallen in love with her.

“Alright, as you wish,” he said, and Yrene grinned in satisfaction. 

The doors were about to open and the crowd began to hum with excitement. They were going to go in, get what Yrene wanted, and get the hell out of there as soon as possible.

Except for the toy that Yrene wanted to get for Taylon? Every other set of parents was there to get it, too.

“What happens if we get separated?” Chaol joked.

As Yrene pursed her lips, he could see that she was taking his question seriously. “Probably should meet up at the restrooms or something.”

“Baby,” he chuckled, holding her hand in his. “Calm down. It’s Black Friday shopping, not a war zone.”

He had no idea how wrong he was…

The doors of the mall were unlocked and Yrene grabbed Chaol’s hand to drag him through the chaos. People were bumping into him every other second, and he felt horrible for all the toes he ended up stepping on. 

The mall was already fully decorated for the Christmas holiday even though twenty-four hours had not yet passed since they’d eaten their thanksgiving dinner.

Chaol instantly felt sorry for all the poor souls that had to work at the mall on Black Friday. 

Front and center was the animatronic teddy bear that was the “hot toy” of the year. He had to admit, it was pretty cute — until it started talking to you.

Regardless, this was the must have toy and his darling wife had made it clear that they must have it.

There were close to 500 boxes piled up in a pyramid and Chaol let out a breath of relief. This wouldn’t be so bad. They could grab the bear, hit the register and be back home before Taylon even woke up.

And then, in the blink of an eye, the pyramid was gone.

“Shit!” Yrene called and her hand was ripped from his as she ran towards the crowd of people gathered around the display.

Chaol watched, half in horror half in awe, as Yrene hurried toward the pile, reaching for a box. Perhaps he should have been the one to go in, but she was quicker, smaller, and far more adamant. If it were up to Chaol, they would’ve gone shopping the week before Christmas to get toys that didn’t cost nearly a hundred dollars.

Yrene was lost among the sea of parents, so Chaol made his move, weaving in and out of the crowd. He finally spotted her pulling and tugging on a box.

Except she wasn’t the only one pulling and tugging. A woman with blonde hair, nearly the same size as Yrene, was tugging on the other end.

“I don’t give a shit if you had it first, I need this toy!” the blonde woman yelled.

Chaol quickly moved in as Yrene was losing her grip. He stepped closer and winked at the blonde woman. “Need some help, ma’am?”

“Please,” she said, sighing. “I have to have this. It’s a collectible.”

His hands closed around the box and both he and the woman pulled the box from Yrene’s hands.

With ease, he took the box from her and it was then in his own hands and under his arm. “She did have it first. Happy shopping,” he said, walking away.

With a smirk and a vulgar gesture, Yrene followed him.

They hurried to the registers and, to further Chaol’s dismay, the line was forever long. It wrapped around the edge of the store and by the time they found the end, Chaol was wishing it was manly and socially acceptable to publicly throw a hissy fit.

Yrene, however, was beaming. She had gotten what she had come for, and Chaol decided that was all that mattered.

Yrene and Taylon were all that mattered. If they were happy, Chaol was too...shopping mall chaos and all.

_____

“Is he asleep?” 

Chaol nodded, joining her beneath the lit Christmas tree. He pressed a kiss to Yrene’s forehead before grabbing the tape to help her wrap Taylon’s gifts. It was Christmas Eve, and although there was no way their infant would remember his first Christmas, they did all the traditions.

They made sugar cookies in different holiday shapes, decorating them with icing and sprinkles. They put them on the coffee table with a tall glass of milk, ready for Santa. And to please his reindeer, they also put out a few carrots.

“Do you think he’s going to like it?”

Chaol looked up at Yrene. She was touching an ornament, painted with Taylon’s handprint.

“Like what, love?” He asked, finishing the wrapping on one present and stacking it on top of another. For being less than a year old, he was definitely going to have more presents than some adults.

“His presents,” she said, looking around. “The tree and the decorations. Christmas as a whole.”

He moved the box he had just set in front of him to the side and grabbed Yrene’s wrist, tugging slightly.

“Come here,” he breathed.

She climbed on top of his lap, straddling his waist. 

“He’s going to love it,” Chaol smiled, pressing his lips to hers. “Promise.”

She wrapped her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck, just holding him. He ran a soothing hand up and down her back.

“Keep doing that and you’re going to put me to sleep,” she said, drowsily.

“That’s the plan, baby,” he laughed.

“What?” She asked, sitting back and looking at him. “No, there’s too much to do and -.”

“And I can handle it,” he said, finishing her sentence and kissing her. “You’ve already done enough. Go to bed, my love.”

After some more persuasion from Chaol, including a few promises regarding his arrival in bed, Yrene relented and pressed a kiss to her husband’s lips before heading up the stairs.

Not long after Chaol followed, stopping in to check on Taylon, who was sound asleep in his crib.

The next morning, Chaol fulfilled one of his promises to Yrene, and when he went to wake up their son, his hair was noticeably more messy. Good thing there was no one but a baby to judge him.

Yrene was still laying in bed when Chaol came back with Taylon, babbling and bouncing in his father’s arms.

“There’s my handsome baby boy,” she crooned, sitting up. Chaol handed him to her and she kissed all over his face. “Merry Christmas, my sweet boy. Merry Christmas.”

He squealed in delight from the attention.

The snow had already begun to fall, the hot chocolate already steaming and sitting on the kitchen counter.

“We have to go see if Santa came,” Yrene said, smile wide and she talked to her little man. “Yes we do.”

Chaol watched them walk down the staircase in front of him, admiring his wife who was wearing one of his old teeshirts. Taylon went wide eyed when he saw the colorful display of wrapped boxes in front of the lit up Christmas tree. The minute Yrene set him on the rug, he was crawling toward them all.

“Looks like Santa ate all the cookies,” Yrene mused.

Chaol cleared his throat. “Yes, and he thought they were delicious.”

“And the carrots?” She asked, raising an eyebrow and glancing at the plate. All four baby carrots remained.

Chaol ducked his head and went to intercept a curious Taylon as he reached to put a Christmas light in his mouth. “Reindeers weren’t hungry. Let’s open presents!”

Yrene only laughed as she sat down on the floor and took Taylon from Chaol.

One by one, Chaol removed the wrapping paper he so meticulously put on the night before. But each time Taylon’s eyes lit up or his squeal of delight filled the house, he knew it was completely worth the little sleep he got.

When there was only one present left, Yrene said, “Let me open this one for him.”

Chaol rolled his eyes, knowing full well which present was left. He slid the package across the floor and took his son from her outstretched hands.

Yrene helped Taylon opened the gift, the bear in which they had waited hours for and wrestled away from another mom.

Once it was opened, Taylor hit the bear’s nose a few times before crawling off Chaol’s lap and picking up a cardboard book about dinosaurs. 

Yrene blinked, staring at the bear with her mouth hanging open. Chaol had to fight the laughter that was bubbling up in his throat.

“He…” Yrene hesitated. “Taylon, look at this bear! It talks! It sings! You can name it whatever you want! See the bear?”

Taylon was babbling to himself, hitting his new book against a plush soccer ball he’d also gotten.

Chaol, unable to stop himself, burst out laughing, ending up on his back and clutching his side.

“I can’t believe this,” Yrene said, lip slightly pouting. “I punched an old man for this thing and he doesn’t even care about it.”

Chaol blinked, sitting up. “You did what now?”

She sighed. “Okay, so I didn’t punch him, but I did aggressively shove him. But regardless, he doesn’t even care! He’s more concerned with trying to make dinosaurs play soccer!” She watched him, Chaol keeping an eye on her, and he watched as her face softened. “But he’s happy. He’s happy and that’s all that matters.”

It was moments like these that Chaol couldn’t believe how lucky he was, how amazing his life really ended up.

Taylon let out a sweet, high pitched giggle as the ball rolled away toward Chaol, who picked it up with a smile and rolled it back to his son. 

“I think he’s having a great Christmas, babe,” Chaol said, smiling at his wife. 

Yrene’s grin widened as she leaned over and kissed her husband, then her son. “He is. So am I. It’s perfect.”

“You don’t want one more gift?” Chaol asked with a smile.

“Didn’t you already give me one this morning?” Yrene was blushing, but Chaol could see a glint in her eye.

Chaol laughed, shaking his head. “Not exactly what I meant, but nice to know where your heads still at this morning.” He stood, turning to walk in the kitchen.

She called after him, “Still thinking about where your head was earlier.”

He threw his head back and laughed, retrieving the small silver box from under the cabinet.

“I’m reminded every day of the many reasons that I love you,” he said, keeping his hand behind his back as he walked back into the living room. “And one of those reasons is your humor.”

“And some others?” Yrene asked, crawling into his lap as he sat down.

“Your beauty,” he said, pressing a kiss to her cheek. “You’re the most brilliant person that I know.” He kissed the other cheek. “You’re the best mother to our son.” A kiss to her nose. “And you’ve got a fine ass.”

“Chaol!” Yrene laughed, swatting at his chest.

He leaned forward and pressed a quick kiss to her lips. He lifted his hand to reveal the box. “Merry Christmas, baby.”

Yrene’s eyes went wide. She sat up and straddled his waist. “Baby, we said no gifts this year.”

He smirked. “Yeah, I’ve never been good at following directions.”

It wasn’t wrapped, the filigree along the top of the antique silver box decoration enough. Yrene skimmed her thumb along the lid, before opening it.

“Chaol,” she breathed. “It’s beautiful.”

It was. The sapphire in the middle of the Art Deco style ring was sparkling, shining in the colorful lights of the tree.

She slipped it onto her finger, her eyes lined with silver as she admired it. “Thank you so much.”

His lips pressed against her forehead, then her nose, and her lips.

Taylon quickly crawled over and tried to grab the ring, causing Yrene to fall into a fit of giggles.

This was it, their first Christmas as a family of three.

All Yrene wanted was for it to be perfect, for it to be a day that they would remember for the rest of their lives. And it was just that.

Perfect. 

[ineffablecolors]

THE WIFE [9/?]

The Wife || Ch 9 ~ 4.5 k || Ch1 Ch2 Ch3 Ch4 Ch5 Ch6 Ch7 Ch8 || FF.NET&AO3

Summary: No one knows all that Emma has been through and certainly no one knows all that Killian has been through and being husband and wife doesn’t make them any less unknown to each other. And really, how can you help someone heal when you don’t even know how hurt they are? A/N: To @bmbbcs4evr and @let-it-raines (check out the GORGEOUS edit she did for this ❤) for reccing this story for @csficrecmonday and to all of you beautiful people who have been enjoying this slow burn with me - I thank you with this chapter ;)

He doesn’t think he has ever – in all his 40 years on this blasted earth – been so conscious of every single movement he makes – of the nervous fidgeting that overtakes his fingers from time to time, of the way his left elbow will twitch unexpectedly, the way his chest rises and falls with his every breath, the way his leg stiffens when the circulation is completely cut off.

He has never been so conscious of his every movement and he has never tried so hard to suppress it all. He must do well enough because she doesn’t stir even once.

When Peter opens the carriage door, Killian still hasn’t decided what to do about the woman sleeping in his arms. It seems particularly melodramatic to carry her into the house but the warmth of her hand in his is enough to make him loathe disturbing her fragile comfort. Not to mention the softness of her hair against his skin and the delicate puffs of warm breath that make gooseflesh rise all over the arm she is pressed against. He is very conscious of not paying attention to the way her knee is bend and lying on top of his thigh and obstructing that very crucial circulation.

Perhaps it is for the best that the carriage coming to a stop was apparently enough to rouse her.

“Killian?”

Killian is good with numbers, estimates and predictions but he can’t say he ever imagined he’d hear her say his name in that way – sleepy and disorientated, unguarded and completely trusting.

“We’re home, love.”

“Oh.”

She looks over her shoulder and through the open door in no great hurry, her head rolling languidly against his shoulder, and, for a moment, Killian thinks she will just turn back around and go to sleep again. Then Ruby bursts through the front door and he tries to neither laugh, nor groan as Emma scampers to get herself and all her skirts off his lap and out of the carriage.

“Why on earth are you back so early?”

He sees Emma freeze on the spot and quickly gets out as well, trying not to trip over the leg that is still half asleep.

“It would’ve been much too great a shock to my system to spend so much time in company,” he replies smoothly as he places his hand on Emma’s back and leads her inside and away from Ruby’s displeased scowl and mutterings about “grumpy old sailors”.

“Upon my word, you couldn’t have had your fill of dancing,” she says to Emma and, before Killian can steer her away again, his wife speaks up.

“Oh, no, rest assured, I more than had my fill.”

Ruby shakes her head and looks at them like she doesn’t know who to be more disappointed in.

“You can retire for the evening, Ruby. We should manage fine on our own?” he looks at Emma with the question and she nods almost imperceptibly but he can see that she will be glad to not have anyone fluttering all over her and pestering her with questions.

Ruby is only too willing to accept his suggestion, after realizing that she will have to wait for Alice’s return to learn all the details of the ball.

Soon as she is out of sight, he returns his full attention to his wife, who is looking up the stairs with palpable reluctance and, even though it’s quite late and she was asleep just minutes ago, Killian finds himself compelled to offer her some distraction, anything to wipe the uncertainty off her soft features.

“Would you like some hot chocolate?”

When she turns her face toward him, he knows he has succeeded.

*****

Even in the sleepy sluggishness of her mind, Emma is aware that falling in love with Killian Jones was not part of anyone’s plans for her. Not her own, not his or his family’s, certainly not Regina’s.

And yet, as she watches him move quietly around the kitchen – jacket and cravat discarded and his hair a bit more of a mess than when they left – and fiddle with the handle of his spoon, while he waits for the milk to heat up, she is also aware that she couldn’t have done anything but fall in love with Killian Jones.

“I am sorry,” she breaks the late night silence. “I should’ve been able to… master my emotions.”

Killian keeps his silence until the cocoa is ready and he is sitting across from her, sipping at the hot liquid and studying her with the blue depths in his eyes. But the silence doesn’t worry her – she finally doesn’t feel tense or anxious, she rather appreciates the quiet moment to gather her thoughts before Killian speaks.

“A ball is supposed to be a source of entertainment, or so I am told. There is no sense attending one longer than it brings your pleasure to do so. And I’m glad we did not.”

She sighs and sinks into her seat. It’s not only this ball though. Emma knows that every woman still in her prime is supposed to be overjoyed at the prospect of attending such an event but—

“It’s just that… well, I never saw the point of it. Dancing with people whose acquaintance you’ve just made. And with all those other people around – watching you like hawks, waiting for you to step out of line. Or on someone’s toes.”

Killian’s lips quirk up at her petulance and there is something calculating in his expression.

“If you were to only dance with people you were already acquainted with, I’m afraid your options would’ve been limited indeed.”

“I don’t think I should’ve minded this time.”

He fixes her with one of his searching looks and, for a moment, Emma wonders just how much her face might reveal in the soft glow of the firelight. But then the set of Killian’s jaw loses some of its careful neutrality and his eyes sparkle in a way they didn’t at the ball.

“Well, if that is the case – and seeing as there is no one here to scold me for it – perhaps I should ask you for a second dance.”

Something in her stomach swoops low in a pleasant feeling that she didn’t think she could reclaim tonight.

“Perhaps you should.”

Her answer seems to both surprise and amuse him and prompt him into pushing out of his chair and putting it to the side, before he urges her up and does the same with hers. The space for dancing is still limited but, as Killian takes her hand and pulls her closer, she doesn’t think they will need any elaborate footwork.

They hardly need any at all as he leads her into a simple back and forth that seems much too unpretentious and intimate for any ballroom. She has just come to terms with the fact that they are indeed doing this in the middle of the kitchen when he starts humming under his breath. It’s no song she has ever heard and that suits her just fine. Few things that involve Killian Jones are ones she has seen or heard or felt before.

His left arm is stiff at her back at first but, after they’ve done a couple of circles around the room, he lets it slip more firmly around her and pulls her infinitesimally closer.

Emma takes that as permission to loosen the rigid angle of her own arms and her right hand slowly slides from his shoulder to the hair at the nape of his neck. She marvels at the contrasts that can exist in a single man – with his proper words and constant warmth, his cautious movements and engaging eyes, his calloused fingers and soft hair, his demanding business and welcoming home. With his rough voice and gentle melodies.

Her gaze skirts over his jaw and finds his lips with relief, as if it has been fighting a battle to stay away until now. Emma doesn’t think she has ever contemplated a man’s features so intently before. Then again, she is sure she has never been as interested in one before. It seems impossible to her, in this little slash of space and time, that she shall ever grow tired of looking at Killian’s face. Which is probably for the best, seeing as they did vow till death do them part.

She is starting to understand how people can say those words and mean them.

It’s another turn and another length of the kitchen table before she finds the courage she had before setting off for the ball and lifts her eyes, following the lines on his face, until they meet his own.

This time there is no interruption.

Except, before she has even realized that she is rising slightly on her tiptoes and leaning closer, the look on his face arrests her every movement, including the rise and fall of her chest. In that moment she has certainty enough for the both of them and yet, the lack of it in his wide eyes makes something inside her tear a little.

She doesn’t know why it should, when he has as well as told her that he married her neither to bed her, nor to fall in love with her. But, when she turns her attention inward, Emma realizes that this new life of hers has made her want things again. Killian Jones chief among them. And, while the thought that he might not want her back stings a little, it cannot diminish the sheer joy of having the will to want again. The hope that wanting might amount to something other than nothing.

“Emma.”

She blinks and searches the blue of his eyes and the deep lines around them. He doesn’t look quite so uncertain now. He looks like he is willing to be convinced.

The space between them is almost gone already but somehow she manages to close it slowly enough for a few seconds to thick by and for Killian’s hand to leave hers onto his shoulder and slide up the curve of her jaw, barely making contact along the way.

Her eyes flutter closed when his have turned eager rather than apprehensive.

It is nothing but her lips against his at first – closed, unmoving, solid, warm.

Emma thought she’d been kissed – once as a child when she barely knew what it meant and then again, a decade ago, when she knew all too well and was a fool to let it happen anyway. She doesn’t remember any of those kisses now. She never did remember them in vivid detail but now she knows she shall never be able to recall them again and she smiles into the first kiss she knows she’ll never forget.

Killian’s mouth moves half a breath away and then closes lightly over her bottom lip and this is even warmer now that she can feel the glide of his lips, his palm on her face, his finger tracing the outline of her ear. There is a happy sound exhaled somewhere between them and she is confident it came from her though she did not know she could make sounds quite like it.

Her hands move with cautious determination until she has his face between her palms, then she angles her head to the side and lets her lips quirk up again at the feel of his cold nose against her cheek.

Killian’s hand slips back down, his thumb fitting itself in the dent in her chin as he pulls back a little and she leans forward to make up for it. Her toes ache in her satin slippers from raising her up but the pleased sound he makes – among other things – more than makes up for it.

“Do you always smile so much when you kiss a man, my lady?”

Emma blinks her eyes open to see his own as close as they have ever been, their foreheads brushing lightly.

“It would appear I do.”

She tries not to smile, despite the admittance, but he does it for her.

“Good.”

Killian pulls back completely but his hand catches one of hers as they reluctantly fall away from his face and somehow she succeeds in reigning in her pout.

“I believe it has gotten rather late.”

In seconds they are walking out of the kitchen, down the corridor and up the stairs and Emma has yet to decide what she wants his words to mean. She wants him, that much she has decided, the intricacies of how and how soon are a bit more unclear. If he is to lead her into his room, into his bed, right now, she doubts she will deny him. Then again, she wouldn’t have denied him that first night either, though she was far from ready for it.

But now – now she thinks Killian will be as concerned with her uncertainty as she was with his minutes ago. And she is uncertain. Her fingers tighten around his as they ascend the stairs and she knows she won’t be afraid to tell him so.

But then, he stops exactly where he stopped at their wedding night and, for all her uncertainly, she can’t help the light pinch of disappointment between her brows. It sits right where Killian’s lips land when he leans over.

“Goodnight, love.”

They only have the one candle this time but he finds his way in the darkness without trouble.

*****

She knocks lightly on the chance that the woman on the other side is still asleep.

“Come in.”

Ruby picks her tray off the ground and pushes down on the door handle with her elbow.

“Good morning. You must be famished after all the excitement yesterday.”

Emma is sitting up in her bed and has obviously been awake long enough to twist her hair into a messy braid on one side. Her eyes widen comically at the amount of food piled on the tray Ruby places on her lap.

“I was instructed to bring you breakfast in bed.”

The maid winks at her mistress before she starts bustling around the room, giving Emma the opportunity to hide her blush.

“Is everyone else up and about then?”

Her voice goes up in the end, obviously aware of the transparency of the question and hoping cheerfulness might compensate for it. Ruby keeps her back to her until she has mastered the silent laughter on her face. She did not afford her husband the same courtesy a few hours ago when he, for reasons unknown and certainly insufficient for Granny, took it upon himself to decide what Mrs Jones should be served for breakfast. Which, in the end, amounted to more or less everything.

Contrary to popular belief, Emma is much more capable of remaining in control when her emotions are running havoc than the captain has ever been. Of course, in Ruby’s experience, he doesn’t let it happen nearly as often but, when caught unawares, he is truly helpless at saving face. Which is probably the reason why he’s chosen to hide his in the nearby hills, just like Emma is hiding hers under the covers.

“Miss Alice is still at Admiral Jones’s estate, the captain has taken Roger out for some “much needed exercise” and Granny is ready to discuss the evening’s menu when you are.”

“Oh.”

She puts Emma’s slippers away and wishes she could give her a less disappointing answer.

“Well, you can tell her I’ll be down as soon as I… manage to make my way through all of this.”

Ruby turns around and grins honestly at the picture of Emma’s fork circling uncertainly over all the meats and fruits and pastry on her tray.

“Let me fetch your tea. There wasn’t any place on the tray for it.”

*****

For a man who has long renounced a great number of emotions, Killian Jones currently finds himself experiencing a perturbingly… great number of emotions. Roger, as he has from the first time he actually let his master mount him, seems only too well attuned to them and more than willing to channel them into motion. For that Killian is grateful. He is sure he should have worn out both his legs and his mind with literal and figurative pacing if not for the liberating and unceasing change of landscape around him now.

Killian knows he is good for a limited and selected number of things and prudent investments are one of those things. If it were up to his brother to decide on those matters— he shudders at the very idea. So he is the one who settles when, how much and in what the Jones Brothers Company should invest. Speculation is the trade of gamblers but what Killian does is not speculation. Investment is all about numbers and numbers are always what they look like. A 20 is going to be a 20 tomorrow unless you make the necessary calculations and take the necessary actions to turn it into a 60. There are no caveats that can suddenly reveal the 20 on the page to have been a 100 all along.

Now, people aren’t like that and investing in people – that is pure speculation. Always. No matter how much information you think you have gathered and no matter how carefully you might have analyzed it a 20 is almost never a 20 when it comes to people. It’s usually a 10, a 12, if you are lucky. To get at the real number of a person you have to know what to subtract first. 4 for the family name, 3 for supposed fortune, 1.5 for the clothes and 2.5 for the manners. You have to strip all that away to arrive at the real, raw truth about a person.

Killian is only partially ashamed that his wife was an investment in her own way – partially because she was not an investment made entirely for his sake. He saw the opportunity to save them both a great deal of trouble when Liam first brought her to his attention – save her more than him, to be completely honest. And he did not mind that Emma required no subtractions either – the family name was reluctantly given, the fortune non-existent (rather a small one required for the obtainment of her hand), the manners he was unaware of and, in the end, even the clothes were added later. When he met Emma she was exactly what she appeared to be.

He should’ve remembered that people are never solid numbers, people are always speculation. Emma is no different. Except in the way that Emma is more than she appears. Nothing was subtracted and then, day in and night out, much was added. Until now he can barely even make his brain view her in that way – numbers, calculations, risks, deductions.

Now it’s all impressions and possibilities and surprises and emotions.

Gods help him, he can’t even count them all – the surprises are constant and he thought he’d learnt to take them almost in stride until this last one, the pride is not truly earned and his to feel, the guilt is warranted and to be addressed, the hope is probably worst of all – there are so many unknown variables in it. And that other one—

Gods help him.

*****

Dinner is an hour away by the time she hears Roger’s hooves against the stones outside and Emma has been going back and forth on being angry with her husband all day. Thinking back on yesterday, she is nothing but grateful for his understanding, for both his firmness and his gentleness, mostly for not being another person that she has to tiptoe around and hide half of herself from.

But then she realizes that her attention has strayed from her reading yet again and she remembers that she has been wondering how to occupy herself for hours because Killian has apparently decided to roam the hills and valleys for the better part of the day rather than do anything at all in her company, and she is back to feeling the anger gather at the back of her throat. Her anger feels rather similar to rejection and disappointment but she tries to contradict these thoughts with memories of last night and then she is back where she started from.

“Captain Jones is getting dressed and dinner will be served in a few minutes.”

She turns to see Ruby’s head poking into her room and her curt response is mostly the result of poor timing, having circled back to recalling her solitude throughout the day.

 “I’m not hungry. If you could excuse me and bring me some tea later, that will be all.”

Ruby frowns in confusion and goes to enter the room properly but something in Emma’s expression arrests her movement and she just nods and leaves.

*****

The knock on her door comes sooner than expected but Emma jumps up quickly, prepared to apologize to Ruby for her shortness earlier, which is why, when she opens the door and finds Killian behind the tea tray, she is caught completely off guard and only slightly reassured by the fact that her quick response seems to have interrupted his own preparation for whatever is to come.

“May I come in?”

His tone and expression tell her that he genuinely doubts if she will let him in and, to Emma’s chagrin, that alone starts chipping away at any anger she tried to accumulate throughout the day. She pulls the door open wider and motions him inside.

Evenings in the kitchen have taught her that Killian is meticulous and methodical, especially when it comes to the serving of beverages, and unafraid of prolonged silences, especially when it comes to her, so it takes her completely by surprise when he almost drops the tray on her small table with a clatter and whirls around to face her.

“Emma, I— I must apologize.”

His face seems to crack a little and the anguish underneath physically tugs on her heart and with it goes the last of her resentment.

The truth of the matter is that she doesn’t know Killian Jones, not completely, not yet. And, while spending time in his company seems like the logical solution to her, maybe that’s one of those things she doesn’t know – when and how and what parts of himself he is willing to reveal.

“You don’t ha—”

“I do. I— Emma, I hope you believe me when I say that taking advantage of you in any shape or form was the furthest thing from my mind when we were wed and I—”

“Wait,” now she is pulled forward by her confusion and his distress. “Killian, you have not— You’ve never—”

“You were clearly distraught last night and I should have seen you directly to your rooms, I should’ve never—”

“That’s what you are apologizing for?”

“Of course, I—”

“I don’t wish for you to apologize for that,” she says sharply, startled and mortified at the way her voice cracks at the end and lifting her chin higher to compensate for it.

Killian seems to hear it nonetheless because his hand reaches for her arm, hesitating just short of making contact. She takes it in her own and moves another step closer, her eyes flickering between his own almost frantically, searching for an explanation.

“You didn’t do anything untoward and I… I hope I didn’t either...”

His shoulders seem to loosen a little and the next step forward is his.

“No, love, you did not. I just… I didn’t want you to think—”

“I didn’t. I didn’t think there was anything wrong or— Well, except that you seem to prefer spending your time with your horse rather than your wife.”

Killian’s face screws up comically and she can’t quite conceal the unladylike snort.

“Perish the thought. I’ll have you know, that’s how rumours start.”

This time she laughs fully and freely.

“I promise not to make your preferences public knowledge.”

“Appreciated,” Killian nods solemnly before his eyes soften and his lids drop a bit lower. “And I apologize if you felt neglected. I assure you Roger’s personality has nothing on yours. I just didn’t think—”

“Truthfully, I think you should stop thinking quite so much.”

Both their eyes widen at her frankness before Emma pressed her lips firmly together and squints at him apologetically.

“Sorry.”

“No, no, you… you might have a point.”

His eyes leave hers for the first time in the last few minutes and focus on the teapot and cups he brought with him. If she has to take a guess, she’ll say he is thinking far too hard again.

“Are you sure you don’t want something to eat?”

“Later, perhaps.”

“Of course. I can make you something. I believe Mrs Lucas hasn’t started keeping the kitchen under lock yet but it’s certainly only a matter of time.”

“Would you have some tea with me?”

*****

Truthfully, he is rather tired from pushing Roger and himself to their mutual limit for most of the day. Truthfully, there are a few letters he saw in the morning and left to answer upon his return. Truthfully, he already had a cup of tea, while debating if he should come up here at all. Truthfully, he can’t refuse her anything when she is tugging on the end of her horrendously done braid and looking at him with her face so genuine and open.

“If you’d like.”

She doesn’t reply, just brushes past him and takes the tray, moving to sit before the fireplace where her book is lying on the ground and she seems to have formed a nest of her blankets and pillows.

“You know, if the furniture is not to your satisfaction—“

She looks over her shoulder and arches a bemused eyebrow, while continuing to pour the hot tea into one of the cups – it’s rather impressive.

“The furniture is perfectly satisfactory and I didn’t expect judgement from a man who sits on the ground any chance he gets.”

He shakes his head and finally joins her, snagging one of the pillows.

“Most ladies I know do not share many of my habits.”

Emma’s eyes sparkle dangerously, she opens her lovely lips and he can literally see the reply on the tip of her tongue but then, for some reason which will probably always remain a mystery to him, she closes her mouth and just hums a little. It is far from acceptance or submission – the way her eyes are boring into his might be one of the most straightforward challenges he has ever been issued. He is just not sure if she is daring him to say something or—

Killian Jones used to think he was a bold man before life saw fit to teach him that even the strongest and bravest thing won’t do when caution is called for. He knows the first bold thing he has done in years is marrying the woman before him. The second is reaching for her now.

He would like to take credit for kissing her as well but once again that is mostly her doing.

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[giranswife]

A Relaxing Bath

Summary: Ash is in need of a relaxing bath, but the idea sounds a lot more fun when she considers inviting her husband to join her. After all, he could use the break.

Warning(s): suggestive, fluff, self-insert x canon

Disclaimer: This includes a self insert/oc shipped with a canon character. The self insert is my own, and created after myself

A bath sounded like an extremely good idea at the time. All week had my nerves pretty high, and since tomorrow I had nothing on my plate, a nice bath before bed sounded nice. I would be dead to the world come tomorrow, hoping to sleep as much as possible.

Thankfully our apartment had such a nice, large bathtub for me to stretch out in. I used to not like baths so much, until I moved in with Giran and had to do a nice warm soak to relax my acing muscles after a mission. Ever since I’ve taken a bath at least every so often just to relax.

Giran has recently gifted me with tons of bath products just because. He spoils me a bit too much, but he won’t ever let me tell him to stop. But if it makes him happy, then who am I to tell him how to spend his money? It’s rather sweet, given that no one has ever spoiled me this much ever.

Tonight, though, the idea of bathing alone just didn’t sound right. Besides, I had seen just how tired he was earlier when I went to bring him dinner. He’s been taking calls pretty much all day and stuck inside his office. Days like this are pretty lonely for me, especially if I too am pretty busy. Usually it’s just getting ready for missions or having to bounce between home and the hideout.

Anything else would probably tire me out much faster. I’m just so god damn lazy. Giran teases me constantly about being a coach potato, because I’m always in the same spot every time he comes home. Either that or I’m in bed asleep. But a wolf’s gotta get her rest in sometime.

Now that I had a full stomach from dinner, all I wanted was to soak in some bubbles and lie in the soft sheets of our bed. Preferably cuddling him. It’s the time that I get the most, even though one or both of us are asleep pretty fast. Tonight I had the perfect excuse to get him into bed faster.

He couldn’t turn down a nice bath with me. Especially not if I come strolling in with just my robe. It was getting late anyway, and I really needed some attention. He pretty much knows that after a certain time I’ll come get him no matter what. I’m like the clock he never knew he needed.

Leaning against the doorframe, I listening to his voice and smirked a little. Sometimes I’ll sit in on the couch in the corner and take naps while he’s busy. Other times I’ll just be in the living room playing video games or whatever the fuck I feel like doing.

It’s actually kind of entertaining sometimes. Other times it’s just boring. He usually laughs at me when I tell him that.

Biting my bottom lip, I took the opportunity to slide inside when he wasn’t paying attention. I could tell he was just about done, and I slipped into his field of view just in time to see the curl of his lips.

“One second, Princess. Almost done here.”

I tiled my head a bit, chuckling at how quickly he understood from my body language. Plus it was getting rather late, and I typically bother him more the later it gets.

I waited patiently, fiddling with the tie on my robe. It was a bright and fluffy purple color, and was softer than anything I’ve ever worn before. Another gift from him that I didn’t expect or even knew I wanted.

My cheeks were a little warm as he reached out to grasp my hip, pulling me closer. Exactly what I expected him to do, and I didn’t even hesitate to sit down on his knee. If I didn’t already have a mission at the moment, I would’ve ravaged his neck that was visible to me from the open part of his shirt.

But I resisted the urge, tossing my hair behind my shoulder and listening to him finishing up his call.

“I was wondering when you’d come and sit your pretty little self down,” He said, tossing the one phone he was using on the table in front of him.

“And I was wondering when I’d see your face.”

“Yeah, I know. Sorry Princess, but I’m all yours now.”

Biting my lip, I blushed at the smirk that he gave me and readjusted myself in his lap. He smelled so nice, and after being alone most of the day, his touch was extremely comforting.

But I still had a task at hand, which meant that I couldn’t get distracted. We’d have plenty of time for that in a minute. Because if I get too distracted, he’ll catch me off guard and that’ll be that. Not that I would complain either way.

“So I was gonna take a bath,” I said, fiddling with the tie on my robe, “If you wanted to come and join me.”

“Oh yeah? That so?”

I nodded, untying the knot and letting the air hit my exposed skin.

His hand grasped my sides underneath my robe, thumbs grazing against my skin. With his eyes raking my body, I knew that I pretty much convinced him already. But I like to give him at least a little hint of what’s waiting for him.

Be a good little tease like I know he likes.

“You look tired. A bath might be nice,” I said, with a playful smile on my face.

“How can I say no to that face?”

Blushing brighter, I felt a giggle slip past my lips and leaned down to suppress the sound between his own. The few kisses that I lingered were meant to just set the tone, but I ended up leaning in for a few more.

When I pulled away, I huffed a small sigh and grasped the back of his neck with my palms. The smile on my face was a lot bigger than I expected, but I was extremely happy. Sometimes I forget that I’m able to smile like this. That I deserve to be this happy.

“C’mon,” I said, jumping off of his lap and holding my robe closed, “I’ll draw the bath.”

“I’ll meet yah in there, baby girl. Make sure it’s warm.”

“Make sure it’s cold, sure!”

I smirked wickedly, slipping out of the door and trotting into the bathroom.

My baths are a tad bit different than my showers. I can take pretty steamy showers, but I don’t like my baths to be too hot. Giran, on the other hand, prefers both. But he compromises with me most of the time, thank god.

Turning on the water, I cycled through all of my bath products in my drawer. There were a couple scents that I liked better than others, but I settled for something soft and that would be pretty relaxing. Giran isn’t typically one for overwhelming scents, but he wouldn’t mind either way if I’m picking.

Once I had everything ready, I took off my robe and checked the temperature of the water one last time. “Baby! Come see if it’s okay, because I don’t want another rerun of last time,” I shouted, turning around to see him standing in the doorway.

“I’m right here, Princess. No need to shout.”

I narrowed my eyes, choosing to ignore the smart ass comment.

But he smirked regardless, unbuttoning his shirt and trailing his eyes down my figure. I wasn’t sure if it was the warmth of the water that made my face red or his look in general. But I imagine I was going to be red for a bit.

“Sure it’s fine. I trust yah.”

“Bad decision, but alright.”

My smirk returned, and I felt his hand grasp the back of my neck to pull me in for another kiss. Leave it to him to start off with the gesture that makes me weak.

Pulling away, I started to tie my hair up into a bun to keep it from getting wet. The action takes at least a couple seconds considering how much hair I have. I constantly go through hair ties, because they break within a few uses.

Which is also why washing it is something I have to prepare for. It takes too god damn long, and tonight I just wanted to relax and go to bed.

The water felt so nice on my skin once I got in, and I was extremely thankful that our tub was also pretty deep. Which meant I could submerge myself and actually soothe my muscles. This should become a routine before and after missions, because shifting takes a lot out of me.

Once Giran was finally in too, I leaned against his chest and finally relaxed. Times like this I find it rather difficult not to fall asleep in the bath, because not only am I warm as hell but I’m also leaning against my lover. Just the perfect end to the night.

“This is sooo nice,” I said with a smile on my face, feeling my ears twitch a bit happily.

Giran chuckled, shifting a few stray hairs and touching my chin rather lovingly.

“Thanks for joining me... I love this.”

“‘Course, Princess. How can I turn this down.”

I giggled again, nuzzling against his neck and feeling his hand brushing against my shoulder. Having him close to me in such an intimate way. It’s a lot different when there’s soft touching and just enjoying being with each other.

Giran kissed my forehead, but tilted my chin to kiss my lips rather softly. I kissed back, slipping my fingers through his hair. A smile curled at my lips between kisses, and I giggled softly with happiness.

“I love you,” I whispered.

“Love you too, Princess.”

He continued to touch my skin, and I let him scrub my back a little bit. Even though half the time he kept whispering sweet things to me and making my face heat up. Things would’ve turned spicier, if the two of us weren’t pretty tired from today. The bath just actually made me more tired.

But it was relaxing, which was my main goal. Get him to stop working and spend some time with me.

By the time we were done, the sound of slipping into bed and sleeping was actually more than convincing. I changed into one of his shirts and ran a brush through my hair. With every yawn I felt my body getting heavier and heavier.

“Hope you don’t mind I took another one of your shirts,” I said when Giran came back into the room.

“Do I ever fuckin’ mind?”

“No, but... figured I’d let you know. In case you look for it.”

“It’s an old one. You can have it. I’ll just buy a new one.”

I rolled my eyes, crawling one the bed beside him. Slipping underneath the sheets, I stole a couple more kisses and left a few more on his own forehead. As payback for all the times he does the same for me.

Though I was tired, I couldn’t help but wrap myself around him and keep the kissing for at least a bit longer. After all, I had missed him for most of the day. And like I said this was typically the time that I get to spend with him.

And after I start, it’s really hard to get me to stop. But at least I know he doesn’t mind.

[tasharii]

Your Colors: Ch.1.

A/N: I was hoping for this to be a oneshot, but it got out of hand very quickly, and became a full, multi-chapter fic. This is for @writingcroissant ‘s 2k challenge. I picked the Artist AU, and ran with it. 

I also couldn’t help but create the mood board that you see. Gotta love visual inspiration! I might make one themed for every chapter, not sure yet. This is my first fanfiction ever, so please let me know what you think. I’ll update the warnings with every chapter if something changes.

Summary:  Art was the one good thing between college, work, and the grey minutes in-between. Sometimes, it felt like she wasn’t alive at all. Just drifting. When she joined her new art class, she never expected to start experiencing everything in an entirely new light. All thanks to him. Or: Where Bucky Barnes gets more than he bargained from his new drawing partner.

Pairing: Reader x Bucky Barnes

Word Count: 11.5K

Rating: Mature

Warnings: Language, violence, attempted assault

Masterlist

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Chapter 5  Chapter 6  Chapter 7  Chapter 8  Chapter 9  Chapter 10   Chapter 11  Chapter 12  Chapter 13

****

A cool draft of air pricked goosebumps up across her skin, and she suppressed the urge to shiver. One wrong movement would break her pose. The floral duvet under her was soft, but her knees were starting to ache from holding the position for so long. Her hands were curled against the tops of her thighs, as if she just rose up to kneel on her bed. Y/N’s head was tilted just a little, her hair pulled over one shoulder, facial expression calm. It was hard to stay that way, though. She could feel his eyes on her like blinding sunshine.

The lighting was controlled by mismatched lamps, keeping it consistent and gentle, almost intimate. Three lights were situated around her bed. One by the headboard behind her, another standalone closer, above her head to the left, and the last was further away on a chair in front of her. All the ceiling lights were switched off, and the windows were covered. It was just enough light to keep her bedroom area illuminated, but the rest of the apartment was coated in inky shadows.

Even with the heat on high, the loose, sheer long sleeve blouse she wore wasn’t quite warm enough. Goosebumps crawled up her bare thighs, disappearing underneath her jean shorts. Y/N’s studio apartment always ran on the edge of nippy. The stained tan carpet couldn’t block out the chill. The mass of tall windows on her back wall, across from the door, loved to let the fall air creep in. At least the windows gave a beautiful view of New York’s sparkling skyline. Being on the 14th floor did have some perks.

“You’re frowning again.” His voice broke through her train of thought. It made her shoulders tense up to her ears before she forced them back down. Subtly she flexed her fingers in and out of fists, trying to shake the anxiety. “Do you need a break?”

Y/N let out a breath she hadn’t realized she was holding “No, I’m alright.” She peaked at him from just within her peripheral vision. He was drawing her from a 3-quarter view, a little lower rather than straight on. A chair had been pulled over from her living-room area, and he lounged back in it. One foot propped up on a stool; other on his knee. His large sketchpad rested on his lap, and tucked up close to his face. Pale blue eyes focused on her with such intensity she felt another flush crawl from her chest down to her toes and up to her ears. This was one part of life drawing that she could never quite get used to.

His eyes drifted over her body, taking in every single detail. First trailing across the waves in her hair, then he paused on her lips, passed down to her torso, arms, legs, and lastly he focused on the paper. Bottom lip tucked underneath his teeth, he scraped against the page in small fluid strokes. The rasping of charcoal eased some of the heat that sparked across her skin. Then he looked up again, loose strands of hair falling across his forehead.

Bucky met her eyes for a couple seconds. Her heartbeat picked up again at being caught staring. Then he dropped his charcoal back down into its open case on the end table beside his chair. He let his socked feet down. Placed his sketchpad on the stool and rubbed at the black smudges on his fingers “I think I’m done anyway. I wanna get a drink real quick, then I’ll pose for you.” He wiped the smudges on his jeans as he stood up.

‘Oh thank god’  Y/N thought, then fell back onto her butt, rolling into a sitting position. Stretching her arms above her head, she cracked her back. As she rolled her stiff joints, she listened for Bucky’s footsteps. The light flicked on for her corned off kitchen area. It was all the way on the other side of the apartment, but she heard the fridge door open without one single footstep. He was so damn quiet. Like a ghost. Maybe it was just because of the carpet.

“Can you get me a coke?” She called, scooting to sit on the edge of the bed and then standing. Tingles trailed down her legs, feet asleep, and she awkwardly shook them off. With a couple bouncing steps she went over to the stool. Y/N didn’t dare touch it, didn’t want to smear any of his strokes. Instead, she just moved over so she could peer down at his latest masterpiece.

It had taken him a little over 30 minutes to draw her. Bucky always, somehow, made her look far more beautiful than any mirror had ever done for her. Her hair looked wavy and graceful as it framed her face, and she appeared to be deep in thought. As if she was captured in the moment between deciding to do something and moving into action. Y/N wished she could say that he drew her wrong, made her look like someone else. A girl far more elegant and pretty than her, but it would be an insult to his skill. Bucky captured her truer to herself than anyone else in the world. It was like he saw inside of her. Saw what she was made of and brought it to the surface.

Somehow, he did it every single time.

This was the fourth time he had been over for an art homework session. Probably drawn her upwards of thirty times now between all the impression sketches, and various timed drawings. Always in charcoal. Always with beautiful accuracy.

“What do you think?” Y/N felt something cold and damp brush her arm. She jumped a little bit and whipped around to glare at Bucky for spooking her. He was standing a good foot away, but his arm had stretched out to offer her the canned soda.

Snatching the drink from him, she took a couple calming breaths, and ignored his small smirk “I think this one’s your best so far. You’re getting better with the lighting.”

Now that she was aware of him, he took another step closer. Unconsciously, his right arm brushed hers as he tilted his head, eyeing the drawing critically “Still can’t get your damn nose right.”

“Got a problem with it?” She teased, sipping on her drink and studying the illustration. Honestly, she didn’t notice anything wrong with it. Her 2D nose looked about as accurate as the rest of her. Curling her bare toes into the carpet, she noticed the feeling had finally come back to them.

Bucky glanced up at her and scowled accusingly “Ya, it’s disproportionate to your face.” The light from the lamp on the chair accented his pout, deepening the dimple under his lip.

Y/N couldn’t help the bubble of laughter that came out of her. It was such an absurd, random comment. Still, she pressed her lips and eyebrows down. Tried to be offended. After all, he was insulting her “Excuse me. I think my nose is the best part of my face! You’re the one with a butt chin!” Her voice trembled over her own words. Then she giggled a little harder as his sulking deepened and he rubbed at his chin, shaking his head.

“Now who’s being rude?” His pout finally lifted to a small smile, and he brought his coke to his mouth, swallowing. “I think next time I want you laying on the bed. Think you can let your head hang upside down for 30 minutes?” He caught her gaze, eyebrows raised. She tried to ignore him saying anything about laying on a bed. There was a mischievous spark in his eye that made her stomach flip.

“If I pass out it’s your fault.” She warned, jabbing a finger at him threateningly. He smiled a smidge more at her before backing up and going to sit his drink down on her desk. Every smile he gave her felt like a surprise, and she couldn’t quite believe how much had changed in such a short period of time.

Things were getting easier with him. It had taken a good two weeks, seeing each other twice a week in their mutual art class, and then twice outside of class to work on the homework. Y/N knew he would be tough. She could tell that from ‘Hello’. Just hadn’t properly estimated how difficult.

 In the beginning, he barely talked beyond adjustments to her pose, and comments on her anatomical errors. Never rudely. Definitely blunt, but his voice was soft, and he helped her after critiquing her. She had thought he was irritated every time he came to her apartment to work. Thought she annoyed him whenever she sat next to him in class. It made her anxiety relentlessly torment her like the devil it was.

Last Friday, though, she finally started to pick up on his dry humor. It was only small comments here and there. Little quips about the poses she made him do, or her obnoxiously loud neighbors. When she fed into it, he made more. Now he was beginning to smile easier. She eventually asked him about his brooding, while sketching him sitting in a chair. Bucky had cracked up. A full body laugh that took up her entire apartment. Between snorts he explained that his friends said he had a ‘killer resting bitch face’. It was one of their inside jokes. He was sorry if he gave her the wrong idea. All his waving hands, gesturing as he spoke, completely ruined her sketch. There was no getting him back into the same position. It was worth it.

These days, she wondered why she ever thought he was scary.

“Got any plans for Halloween?” Y/N asked, turning her drink in her hands. The holiday fell on a Wednesday this year, so most parties were scheduled the Saturday after. That was only a week away.

Bucky smeared the condensation of his can across his right fingers, rubbing at the leftover charcoal dust. The small of his back leaned against her desk as he thought about it. Charcoal had managed to get all the way down to his wrist. His thumb brushed over his fingertips and then he rubbed them again on his jeans. There were smudged stains on the faded blue now, next to his side pocket. He didn’t seem to care.

She tried to stop staring, looking back down at his drawing right as he glanced back up to answer. “Probably gonna go to my friend’s party. Maybe scare the kids that dare ring his doorbell.” He gave a wicked smirk. Then clapped his hands together, rubbing them conspiratorially. The sound was muted by his glove and had a dull ring from the metal underneath.

“Like you need to give more poor people nightmares from your ugly mug.” She teased. Well that answered her question. She thought maybe she could invite him to go with her and her friends to club Hydra. Obviously, he would be spending time with his friends. Friends she didn’t have any idea about.

“Oh ha ha.” Bucky rolled his eyes with exaggerated, sarcastic laughter. “So! Where do you want me and my ugly mug?” He asked, arms spread wide in mock invitation.

“Don’t pout. At least you don’t have to buy a costume.” Y/N continued. He didn’t even bless her with a response. Just pinned his grey eyes at her a bit more.

Slowly, she walked over to sit her own drink down beside his, lips pressed together. Peering around the room, she crossed her arms in thought. Finally, she nodded her chin towards the window sill. It was her middle, largest window. The one that opened to her fire escape. The sill doubled as a seat and had a couple cushions already laid out on it.

“Open the blinds and lean against it.” It was getting to be later afternoon, so the light should be pouring in the window without the blinds blocking it. As he pushed off from the desk, Bucky knocked his shoulder playfully against hers. She hesitated back for just a second, watching him stroll easily across her apartment. Honestly, she hadn’t realized that he never touched her before until he started to. It wasn’t like he touched her all the time now, but something told her it was significant that he did at all.

With a shake of her head, Y/N followed Bucky over to the window and let him push aside the pale blue curtains. Then he tugged the blinds up, turned and rested back against the window, arms crossed. He didn’t completely sit down onto the sill. Instead he sat on the very edge, using his legs to support him. It wasn’t a very comfortable position, but it was visually dynamic.

“This good?” He tilted his head and studied her curiously. He was wearing a black hoodie, left hand covered with a glove. His hair was easily brushed back from his face, shorter on the sides. Stubble covered his cheeks, but he still had a boyish charm to him, even with the small smudges of rings under his stark blue eyes.

She knew what was under his glove. It wasn’t like Bucky insisted on hiding his metal arm, but he did go out of his way to keep it covered as much as possible. Sometimes in class he would shed his jacket, long sleeves underneath it, but then he would roll up the sleeves to wash his right hand. He would remove the glove to keep it from getting wet. Didn’t usually even flinch whenever anyone looked, surprised, but no one asked. Prosthetics were rare, but not unheard of considering the war. Metal prosthetics were rarer, only Stark Industries made them, and they were ungodly expensive.

However, in all the sessions they had drawing each other, she hadn’t drawn him without his arm covered in some way. He had drawn her in various stages of undress: dresses, skirts, shorts, jackets, and even a sports bra once. Y/N had a feeling that this would be what she would use for her final Figure Drawing project. If he just didn’t have his jacket on. Maybe she could finally capture the essence of him that she had missed every time.

“One second.” She stated quickly, stepping back and flitting around her apartment. First, she turned off all the lamps over near her bed. Then she walked around the wide bookshelf that separated her bed from the living-room area and turned off the kitchen light beyond that. There was enough light pouring in from the window for her to draw by. Plus, having only one light source made the shadows he created deeper.

Having all that done, she steeled herself, debating a moment longer. It wouldn’t hurt to ask would it? She picked at the edges of her sheer sleeves, they covered down to her fingers. Bucky tracked the movement with his eyes. He really did have artist habits. Sometimes she wondered if he ever missed anything. Any small detail.

“Do you think you could take off your hoodie?” She quickly asked, a little hesitantly. Just throw it out there. Despite the anxiety, she tried to be as casual about it as she could.

Bucky’s eyes widened just a fraction before he gave a smooth smile and furrowed his eyebrows “You trying to defile my honor?” He chuckled teasingly, giving her an obvious once-over, then tutted with a click of his tongue “I didn’t take you for that kinda girl!” He tucked his hands into the pockets of his jacket and reclined back a bit more. The light made pieces of his hair shine copper.

She scoffed “Oh you wish Barnes.” Then she shook her head, staring up at the high vaulted ceiling. Why did this difficult man had to be her muse?

“I just think the lighting and pose would look better without your dark ass jacket casting one big mass of shadows.” She jabbed a finger at it and stared at him stubbornly. She didn’t mention that his metallic arm would also look beautiful in the golden light of the sunset, but she figured he would come to that conclusion on his own.

“I’m wearing a tank top underneath this.” He stated, joking demeanor becoming subdued with his statement, voice softening. Bucky didn’t turn his gaze away from her. Slouched down like he was, she managed to stand at his height. Her bare toes were nearly touching his. The length of his stretched legs kept her a good arm’s length away. Bucky always seemed to have a bubble that he rarely let anyone in. People walked around him with a wide breadth. Y/N supposed he could be intimidating. Especially in moments like this. Where his eyes unwaveringly bore into hers, and he dropped his charming, dry humor. A joke wasn’t anywhere to be found.

“That’s fine by me.” She finally replied, clearing her throat from where it had become filled with sand. Honestly, she didn’t know Bucky all that well. They spent upwards of 10 hours a week together, working on the same class, bonding over art, but she still didn’t really know him. She knew he was a veteran, he was casually vague about that if the arm didn’t tip anyone off. Their art teacher, Ramsey, was also a veteran, and liked to talk about it with Bucky. Probably a sense of comradery. She knew his favorite medium was acrylic, and he worked at The Rosalie Bakery. That was about it, though, and all that stuff was pretty damn superficial.

As he kept his stare locked with hers for a few heartbeats longer than comfortable, she began to wonder if maybe she pushed too far. It was obvious he was a private guy. Maybe he was embarrassed about it. Maybe he didn’t want it captured forever down on paper. She was just about to back off when his right hand moved up to the zipper of his hoodie. Her eyes immediately tracked the movement. It rested below his chest, already partially down. The sound of the zipper broke the silence, louder than the clunking of her apartments central air.

“Alright, but good fucking luck drawing this hunk of metal. I swear shading it is gonna be a bitch for you.” Bucky groused, and she took a soft breath before smiling encouragingly with a flash of teeth.

“I think I can handle it.”

He tossed the jacket to the floor, and then rolled his shoulder a little. The wife beater didn’t hide much of anything. Y/N could see the thick jagged scars from where the metal ended, and his skin began. There was intricate paneling and the plates hissed a little as they shifted in response to him moving. His flesh fingers plucked the ends of the glove off, and then dropped it down on top of his jacket.

It only took two seconds for her trained eyes to devour every detail before she hurried to grab her sketchpad and standing easel. She wanted to draw him at eye level, just from the side closer to his metal arm. The light refracted, multicolored, across the silver. It was just as stunning as she thought it would be. “Can you just prop your left elbow up above your head? Ya like that. Now tilt your head towards me. Good. And relax.” She spoke quickly, already starting to block in shapes.

“Whatever you say Picasso.” Bucky rolled his eyes before relaxing his face, and he watched her draw.

Normally, she would tell him to look somewhere else. Maybe down, or up above her, but not this time. This time it was perfect that he was challenging her. Challenging the viewer. Daring them to look at him. Daring them to stare.

Y/N felt her heartbeat pick up, and she brushed the charcoal across her page, suddenly caught in a drawing fever. She could feel excitement sparking her fingers as she drew him. This was why she wanted him to be her partner.

When Ramsey told them that they would have a partner for the length of their class, she had panicked at first. Their partner was supposed to critic them, help them, and work their projects together. It was a lot to ask from someone, especially when most people in the class didn’t have a degree hanging on their performance. This was an extracurricular class for her, outside of her college, hosted by the Brooklyn Museum. It was meant for wanna-be-artists, but most of them weren’t being graded like her. At the end of the class their work would be hosted in an exhibit at the museum.

All her teachers would be coming to that show, and Ramsey was supposed to write weekly updates about her. Y/N didn’t like group projects to begin with. Most people just didn’t work well together, and she had high standards for herself. Besides, she only recognized a couple other people in the class from her college, but she didn’t truly know anyone.

As everyone started to pair off, being smart and probably taking the class with a friend, she glanced around the room. Twisted in her chair, observing as people laughed and started mulling over the syllabus together. She finally spotted him. He hadn’t moved from his drafting desk, hadn’t even looked up from his worn sketchbook. She noticed how people glanced at him, but then kept moving, looking for other options. He was beautiful. Intimidating. She wanted to draw him right then and there. It wasn’t anything new. Sometimes people just inspired her. Something about them made her itch to draw them. To capture their being onto a page.

So, she approached him. He slowly glanced up at her. Took in her position beside his desk with nothing else than a glare. Stubbornly not letting that deter her, she gave a small wave and the best smile she could muster under such uncomfortable circumstances “Hey I’m Y/N.”

“James.”

“You still have 20 minutes left. You can take your time.” Bucky chuckled, watching as her hand slowed for the first time since she started “I’m not going anywhere Y/N.”

It had taken the entire first week for her to make him laugh. Another week after that before the smiles came easier. The sad part was she had actively been trying. Of course, when he did laugh, she hadn’t tried. In the middle of rearranging the still life they were working with, she fumbled. She accidentally knocked her hip into the edge of her cheap end table when turning away. Managed to catch the flower vase, but at the cost of it spilling down the front of her shirt. At least it was on her, and not her camera. That same day, he had told her to call him Bucky instead of James.

He laughed a lot more since then.

Hearing her name made her fully give him her attention. Cars honked from far down below, and the shuffle of New York played like subdued background music. “You’ve got charcoal on your face.” He informed her. A smirk curled up one side of his lips, and his eyes danced in the fading auburn light behind him.

She wiped at her forehead, brushing back her hair. From the grin on his face, she probably only made it worse. She sent eye daggers at him “Shut up and get back to brooding.”

He pressed his lips together, trying to contain his smile. “Yes ma’am.” After that, she noticed that his shoulders were a little more relaxed. His breathing was deeper, and his gaze had softened. However, his eyes never stopped daring her to look.

**** 

Halloween was one of her favorite holidays. It was thrilling to get to pretend to be someone else. To have the opportunity to dress in whatever made her feel good without getting slut shamed for it. She had very few chances to act like a kid anymore, being in college, and having the adult responsibilities of a young woman living on her own. So, when her friends invited her to a Halloween party at the club Hydra she didn’t hesitate to agree. It wasn’t often that she drank, even less often that she partied.

The press of bodies made it difficult to get off the dance floor. She slowly weaved her way, slipping under arms and sliding through all the usual grinding. Her hair stuck to the nap of her neck, and she felt damp sweat on the small of her back. Leather was not a breathable fabric. It clung like a second jet black skin down her limbs and stretched across her breasts. As she stumbled, at last, out of the crowd, near the bar, she took in a muggy breath. The air tasted like various perfumes, and sweet smoke. Fog machines curled smoke around her feet and made the air hazy. Desperate, she unzipped her clingy jacket down a bit. Now she was showing an indecent amount of cleavage, only a pushup bra under the jacket, but at least it was cooler.

Time was drifting past 1 a.m., and she wanted to try to be home by 3. That way she could still be coherent when Bucky came over to work at 11. Multicolored strobe lights flashed overhead, giving everything a heady, surreal atmosphere. The music was so loud that she could feel it vibrating in her bones, across her heart. It mixed well with the slight buzz of alcohol making her skin tingle, and muscles loose. Her feet hurt from dancing so much, and she still had a throbbing bite mark on her neck. A gift from a guy dressed as a vampire who got a little too in character.

Finally, she made it into the bathroom, there wasn’t a line. The club was huge, and expensive. It managed to surprisingly be equipped with enough bathrooms to serve all its drunk, debauched guests. She leaned heavily against the porcelain sink, splashing some cool water onto the back of her neck. After a couple of calm breaths, she felt the last of the artificial fog leave her lungs. Peering up she stretched her neck to the side, checking to see if the vampire managed to bruise her. Thank god he didn’t.

Y/N’s makeup was smudged, making her sharp Black Widow look a little dirty. Her lipstick smeared around her mouth, and her smoky eyeliner ringed her bright eyes. Somehow, she got glitter across her cheekbones and chest. She hadn’t even worn glitter. Still, it managed to work with the leather, so she didn’t mind too much. Standing up straight, she dampened a paper towel and dabbed it under her eyes. Wanted to clean herself up just a little bit before she faced anyone again. Grabbing her lipstick from one of her many pockets she reapplied the scarlet, and then, satisfied, pulled out her phone.

Back facing the mirror, she leaned against the sink. Focused on her phone, she enjoyed the slight draft of cool air that dried the sweat on her chest. The music still crept in from outside, but it was the first minute in a solid 5 hours that she could hear her own thoughts.

First, she tried to call Gabby, who had drove them there. Gabby was always nailed to her phone and very reliable. It rang a few times, but eventually went to voicemail. Y/N left a quick message. Let her know that she wanted to head out soon, and to get back to her. They had agreed that they would stay no later than 1:30 a.m. at most. It was creeping towards that time.

Then she called Whitney, but the call was instantly rejected. She raised her eyebrows and hung up without leaving a message. Instead she went to text her. The buzzing of the florescent lights was starting to give her a headache. She jumped a little when a group of girls came into the bathroom, talking way too loudly. Probably still deaf from the base. The music followed in after them until the door swung closed again. Some remix of This Is Halloween. They barely glanced at her as they went about doing their business, checking their makeup and going into the stalls.

Y/N stepped back and out of the way of the sinks. She leaned against the other wall beside the trashcan. Her feet were starting to ache in her knee-high boots; so, she shifted her weight from one to the other, easing some of the pressure.

Y/N: Hey! Just wanted to knw if you’ve seen Gabs?

It took Whitney a couple minutes to text back. Minutes that went by gruelingly slow. The girls had all left by the time her phone vibrated in her hands.

Whitney: No idea! Srry about the call. I met a guy!  She followed that up with several winky faces and hearts.

Whitney: Let her know I don’t need a ride tho. Probably won’t make it home. Thnx!

That one was emphasized with some kisses and winky faces.

Y/N could tell when a conversation was over, so she tried to call Gabby again. It ended with the same result. She sent her a couple texts, but to no avail. Just more radio silence.

Buzz sufficiently tampered, she let Gabby know she was getting a cab. She stared up at the glass dome light about her head and groaned loudly in frustration. Then she pocketed her phone back in the pouch attached to her utility belt. She patted at her thigh pocket where she had her wallet, only to come up with nothing. Y/N patted down her hip pockets, and then back pockets. A bubble of panic started to rise from her stomach. She frowned, going for her bra, and then rechecking every single pocket she had.

Twice.

Then a third time.

No wallet. No goddamn wallet. She tried to think of where she could have left it, but it had been an hour since her last drink. There was no way she had left it at the bar.

Then she had gone to dance some more, and finally ended up here in the bathroom.

Somewhere between then and now her wallet had escaped.

Son of a bitch. She raked a rough hand through her hair. It probably looked wild in a crazy witch sort of way now. The mirror across from her confirmed her theory. Wild hair aside; ok, she could handle this. Maybe they had it at the bar. Maybe she dropped it, and someone gave it to the bartender. People were still nice like that.

With a rush of adrenaline fueling her steps, she shoved out of the bathroom and hurried to the bar. This couldn’t be happening.

It wasn’t at the bar.

The bartender helpfully informed her that they had been having a pick-pocket problem. Followed that up with a shrug and infuriating expression of pity.

Gave her a free shot of vodka for her troubles.

Dejected, it took her another 10 minutes to wind her way through the crowd. 10 long minutes to make it out of the maze of the outrageously huge club. She couldn’t help but feel pissed. All around abandoned by her friends. Robbed. She just wanted to do was go home, take a shower, and then collapse into her warm bed.

The frigid November wind only aided in agitating her more. The club was on a corner lot, and she walked a few paces away from the entrance. There were throngs of people still going into the club, and then stumbling masses making their way out of it. She waited on the edge of the sidewalk, watching as the headlights of the cars flashed by in blurs of color. She could see her breath in the wind and cursed her skin-tight leather jacket for not being warmer. The heat from the club abandoned her more every single time a gust of air pushed her to the side.

Luckily, she could feel the vodka coiling in her stomach, spreading numb warmth through her veins. It also managed to calm her down, guiding her from the edge of crying. She bit her lip and slumped against a lamp post.

A taxi started to pull over for her, and she let out a groan of frustration as she waved them on. No point in wasting the poor guy’s time. Renewed tears of frustration pricked her eyes as she tried to figure out who she could call. Her two best friends with cars had already outright deserted her ass. She pulled out her phone and started clicking through all her contacts. Rubbing at her fingers against the phone as she went. The light of her phone made her wince, and the harsh street light reflected white off her leather sleeves. No one else she knew drove.

No one except…

She hovered her thumb over Bucky’s name. He was probably still at his friend’s right now. If not there, likely passed out in some corner. They weren’t that close, and this would seriously be putting him out.

But she was desperate.

Y/N pressed the phone to her ear as it started to ring. Again, and again… and oh god he wouldn’t answer and he was going to wake up to a random call from an indecent hour and no explanation…

“Hello?”

“Bucky!” She uttered his name with an embarrassing amount of relief. Immediately she took a step away from the post, too nervous to stand still.

“Hey uh… are you alright?” He asked slowly, voice deeper over the phone. At least he sounded like he hadn’t been sleeping, or drunk. What if he was actually busy? What if he was _busy _with someone? She could just make out the sound of music over the line, and laughter.

“I’m not interrupting anything am I?” She ignored his question in favor of asking one of her own. What if she just interrupted a hookup? Accidentally cock blocked him? The thought made her a little queasy, and her free arm crossed protectively over herself.

“Oh no, um just at Steve’s party.” She pursed her lips, looking up at the sky.  Couldn’t make out any of the stars thanks to the city that never sleeps. Steve. He had never mentioned Steve before. Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea after all. She didn’t even know the names of his real friends.

He seemed hesitant when she didn’t say anything right away. Vodka was making its way through her. Her brain felt a bit slow “Is there anything that I can do for ya? Not that I don’t appreciate random calls or anything, but…” Bucky trailed off, waiting for her to finish the sentence for him.

The question made her straighten back up and scrub a hand over her face, suddenly remembering her awkward situation “I don’t want to put you out but… Well I’m kinda stuck at club Hydra. Without money, or a ride. Do ya think maybe you could give me a lift home? If you can’t it’s ok I can figure something else out. Promise I’ll pay you back though!” Her lipstick had smeared over her palm. She wiped it off on her thigh distractedly.

There were a few long beats of silence. The only way she knew he was still on the line was by the intermittent bursts of background laughter. Finally, she heard Bucky let out a sigh that made the speaker crackle “I’m not even going to ask. I can be there in 10 if you don’t mind riding on my bike.”

“No that’s fine!” No, she didn’t mind the idea of riding on the back of his bike at all. It sounded like the best thing ever. A great way to pick up her shitty night. “Are you sure though? I don’t want to make you leave your party.”

She could hear some shuffling, and it sounded like Bucky was talking to someone, but she couldn’t make out any of his words. When his voice came back he was a bit louder “Nah it’s alright. Starting to die out anyway.”

“You’re not drunk, are you?” Y/N suddenly asked, a bit concerned. Mostly not even for herself.

Bucky snorted a laugh “No I’m not drunk. Would never dream of risking my bike like that.” A screen door slammed over the phone, and he cursed. Something about stupid weather and stupid damsels in distress. She opted to ignore him.

“I was more worried about you than the bike, but I’ll take what I can get.” She paced around her small bit of sidewalk. It felt like there might be snow in the air. Above the buildings she wondered if the clouds were gearing up for it, thick and heavy.

“Shouldn’t worry ‘bout me, but thanks anyway.” There was a jingling of keys, and then a roaring crackle over the speaker that made her jerk the phone away from her ear. He must have started his bike.

To compensate she spoke up a bit louder “Thank you so much. I’m already outside. Can’t miss me. I’m in all leather.”

Bucky laughed a little, but it was distorted from the motorcycle “It’s Halloween weekend. I don’t think you’re the only girl out there sportin’ all leather.” Before she could defend her entirely unique leather get-up, he finished “But I’m sure you’ll stand out anyway. See ya in a bit.” Then he hung up.

The next 5 minutes passed agonizingly slow. She huddled herself up against a rough brick wall, thankful that she was wearing pants. Even if the leather was thin. She didn’t want to go back into the club, and chance missing Bucky. Besides, it was only 10 minutes. She could handle that. Her phone stayed pressed close to her face as she flipped through Tumblr, attempting to keep her mind off the howling wind. It bit at her fingers, and pink nose.

At first, she didn’t notice. There was always a background rush of voices on the streets, along with cars, and horns. City noises. A lot of the louder voices were guys, shouting obscenities at no one in particular. Even when she had been cat called a few times, it never amounted to anything.  Usually she just kept walking or flipped them off, then kept walking.

“Hey sweetheart why you all by yourself?” She glanced up from her phone, wondering what poor girl was getting harassed and if maybe she should do something.

Then she realized that poor girl was her.

Too stunned to say anything, she kept quiet. The guys were leering at her from down the sidewalk. Probably coming from the club. There were five, all in various costumes, and all likely in various states of intoxication. The ringleader stood in the front, backed up by two other big guys, the fatter one was in a basketball jersey, the other a pirate’s hat with a ruby feather. They were all tall, but not quite as tall as Bucky. Not many guys were.

When she didn’t respond, the ringleader stepped closer to her little ball of light. She stood underneath a streetlamp light. The post was positioned on the other side of the sidewalk, next to the street, but its illumination reached her against the wall. It felt like the safest place. Not that Hydra was located on a shady street, but it was late at night, or early in the morning. She was a girl. It was also Halloween. Now she was starting to wonder if the light was more like a beacon for all the goddamn scumbags of the world.

“Wanna keep us company?” He continued, a wide smirk making his teeth flash in the headlights of a car “We can warm you up real nice.”

Discount Jack Sparrow chuckled from beside him “You make one damn hot Black Widow. I’d love to see what’s under your leather.” She felt his eyes on her cleavage even if she couldn’t see him clearly in the shadows. Suddenly she wanted to zip her top back up, but she didn’t dare give him the goddamn satisfaction of appearing embarrassed.

Up to this point she was far too amazed at the blatant sexual harassment heading her way to say anything. That comment jarred her into standing up straighter, trying to appear bigger than she was. Then she glared at them “Fat chance asshole. Leave me alone.” She bristled more when they just laughed at her and felt her stomach drop. This wasn’t good.

If she screamed it wouldn’t do much. It was Halloween. People were screaming everywhere. Plus, in a city, one scream just disappeared like smoke among all the other noises. There wasn’t anyone around paying any attention. The main bustle was over at the club, but she was far away from it now. Went to wait next to a parking garage a distance away so Bucky would have an easier time spotting her. A huge building filled with cars, not people. Sure, there were cars going by, but no one gave a shit what happened outside the nice tinted glass of their ride.

To her left, yards away, the fluorescent lights of Hydra’s sign flashed mockingly at her. To her right the street was deserted, the parking garage was huge enough that it took up the sidewalk till it hooked around the other corner several yards away. In front of her the street flowed like an impassable, steady river of cars. The neanderthals blocked her from heading back to the safety of Hydra.

It would be a lucky day if anyone paid her any attention at all.

“Aw you even talk like her. Why don’t we play a little?” The ringleader stepped into her circle of light now. Contaminating it. She pressed further back against the brick behind her “I’ll be the Hulk, and you can be my little Widow.” He had greasy dark hair, pushed back from his long pale face, the brim of a scuffed top hat hooded his dark eyes. He was toned underneath his circus coat, she could tell by the way it hugged his chest. A literal evil ringmaster. How ironic. Probably not even all that ugly when that sneer didn’t stretch his face. Probably one of those guys that didn’t take no for an answer, even in a setting much nicer than this.

As they crowded closer in, she could smell the alcohol on them. Alcohol, and pot. Not that substances are any excuse, but it made her spine tingle with adrenaline. Substances just made people get angrier faster and hit harder.

Without even responding, she bolted, or tried. Lunged to the right. Maybe if she made it to the end of the block she could go across the crosswalk. Across the street there were restaurants, and people. She made it all of five steps before a hand caught her wrist and wrenched her back. Involuntarily, she stumbled into Ringleader’s chest. His other arm snaked around her waist, crushing her there as she tried to wiggle away.

She screamed then.

Whether she believed it would help or not. It was just a natural damn response. Fear sliced down her spine and beat the wail out of her.

His hand left her wrist and covered her mouth. Circus Freak’s palm tasted dirty when she tried to bite, but he just pressed harder. His thumb wrapped over her nose. She could barely breathe.

“Shut the fuck up.” He tugged her back, making her stumble with him, and then took her out of the light all together. The lamp flickered and hummed, above her head. She watched it get smaller. He dragged her over towards the opening of the car garage. It gaped at her like the ominous jaws of a monster. If she went in there, she might never come out.

Even if she did, she might not be able to put herself back together. Not for a second time.

Y/N tried letting herself go dead weight, but he just grunted and pulled her harder. Ringleader’s arm was an iron bar. It dug into and bruised her ribs. Her jacket hiked up from the squirming, and suddenly his grimy hand was squeezing her bare side. Heartbeat spiking, she scratched at his arms, kicked at his legs, started to buck back. Her feet didn’t connect with more than his shins, but at least he cursed. Blood welled up under her nails, and as she squirmed his hand started to slip. She fought with everything she had in her. Finally, he let go of her mouth to contain her arms.

“Grab the goddamn slut’s legs!” He demanded, voice rough from too many smokes. Hands caught her wrists in a bruising vice. He tugged them up above her head.

Fatty in the ball jersey did as ordered. He bent over and grabbed her thighs, lifting them off the ground. Couldn’t get a solid hold with her bucking. He managed to keep her calves lifted, and she used his support to push off. With all her strength, she brought up one foot when he pushed closer to her. She got in one good, hard kick into his snarling face. The heel of her boot cracked him right in the nose. Snapped his head back and he let out a surprised wail. A wave of gratification swept her chest. She even smiled a little, past the tears that smeared her mascara.

It didn’t last long. Jersey held his flooding nose with his left hand and stammered “You bitch!” The rage in his voice tremored through his muscles. He brought back his big meaty hand and landed a stinging backhand across her face. Bastard had a hulking ring on his finger. The jewel caught on her cheekbone and tore into her skin. Her ears started to ring, and glowing halos of light danced in her eyes when she blinked. The force split her lip and she tasted blood.

At least his nose looked broken, blood splattering across his stupid purple jersey. She hoped the stain never came out.

In slapping her, he let go of her feet, so she started trying to kick again. She kicked despite the throbbing through her skull. Kicked despite the ringing in her ears. Despite the hands that constricted her. Bruised her.

Still, it wasn’t really going anywhere. She pegged another guy with devil horns in the middle of his chest. He caught her feet, wrapped them under one of his arms, and constrained her. They started shuffling closer to the entrance, and she started to scream again. Her shoulders ached from bearing all her weight, and she stared up at Ringleader. His breath stank of alcohol when he stared down at her with a chilling grin.

That was when she heard a distinctive skid of tires on the sidewalk.

“What the fuck?” One of the others, he had on a very ironic Superman getup, muttered as headlights blinded her. The guys were circled around the front of her, Ringleader binding her arms above her head from behind, Devil Horns holding her feet in front of her. Dirty Superman and Pirate Hat flanked her sides. All of them turned to gape as the lights turned off, and the sound of boots against sidewalk stalked towards them.

Somehow, Y/N knew who it was before she even heard him speak or saw his face. Her entire body sagged in relief, and she strained her neck to try and see.

“Bucky!” She screamed, but then Ringleader cut her off. He jostled her to hold her wrists in one hand, covering her mouth with the other. Devil horns dropped her feet, and she barely kept from falling like a stone. Ringleader tugged her up and back against him.

The others huddled away from Bucky when he got closer. She could just make out his face in the street lights, and his expression made her freeze. His eyes were as cold as winter. Face stony to match. He stood up at all his height, more menacing than ever before, and had yet to utter a single word.

Didn’t really have to. His body language said it all.

Ringleader must have been too stupid to listen “Hey buddy. I suggest you move along. Nothin’ to see here. Our friend was just about to show us a good time. Weren’t ya?” He spoke down to her, shaking her a little. Y/N let out a shriek of rage, clawing at his arm, ripping up more skin beneath his sleeve. He squeezed her mouth tighter, cutting off her air all together. Tears blurred her vision, streaks already staining her cheeks. She couldn’t remember when exactly she started crying. Her lungs burned as she fought to breathe through his skin.

Bucky’s fists clenched at his sides, one covered by a glove. Sporting a leather jacket, white t-shirt, black jeans, and heavy boots he looked almost like John Travolta from Grease. Styled hair and everything. Would have made her weak in the knees in any other situation. Currently, she was struggling to breathe for entirely different reasons.

When he took a threatening step forward, her band of assholes stepped back. A gust of wind ruffled everyone’s hair, and she noticed little white flakes reflecting in the street lamp behind Bucky. Crystals caught in his hair, and she wondered why the universe made tonight the first snow fall.

A heavy silence hung thick in the air. She slapped progressively harder at Ringleader’s hand until he let her breathe again. By then her head was getting light. He still insisted on keeping his hand over her mouth. She sucked air in through her nose. The smell of cigarettes encased her, clogging the air.

Bucky’s eyes met hers across the tense darkness, and she could feel his worry without any words. It reflected in his blue eyes. Spoke through the small crease in his brow, and tense set of his mouth. Finally, though, he did speak up. His words dominated over the cars in the street and boomed across the sidewalk. Slowly, he stared down every single person with a deadly sort of calm.

“I suggest you douchebags let her go. Right now. If you want to walk away from here tonight.” His voice wavered just a bit in pent up rage. She tracked that rage across the stiffness of his shoulders and the clenching of his fists. Distantly she wondered how much damage he could do with a metal fist helping him. How many people had he made bleed with it during the war.

She watched a shudder pass through the spines of everyone standing there. The frost coming off him even made the tips of her fingers prickle. She squeezed her captor’s hand tighter, trying to pry it back off her mouth. He didn’t budge.

Stupidity, and pride always prevail. Ringleader laughed, and the movement jostled her. Her shoes scraped against the side walk as he tugged her up, making her stand on her tiptoes. The position strained her neck, and made her thighs burn. She arched her back to keep from pressing against him more than he made her. “Again, you should really leave before you piss me off. It’s five against one pal, can’t you count?”

Bucky smirked, but it was a bitter, piercing expression “I think you should count again.” Confusion passed through her for only a half of a second.

Then he charged. So fast she almost missed it. Pulling back his flesh hand he decked the nearest guy straight in the nose. It was Ironic Superman. The blow was so vicious she heard the crack from where she was a yard away. Superman’s head violently snapped to the left. His body followed it all the way to the ground. He didn’t move.  

“Four.” It made her heart jump in her throat when Bucky’s voice rang over the scuffle.

Bucky didn’t stop there. He spun just in time for Pirate to throw a wide fist towards his head. It was like he knew the blow was coming. Bucky ducked down. Dipped to the left. Then he stood straight, so damn light on his feet. Pirate stumbled past him, having displaced too much of his weight. Then he sloppily caught himself and faced Bucky angrily. Didn’t waste a second to attack again. Bucky was waiting. He slid just far enough to the right to let the blow go over his shoulder.

Pirate fell against his chest, and Bucky used the momentum to his favor. He caught his shoulders. Then used the downward momentum to drive his knee straight up into the guy’s chest. The feather fell from his hat as he let out all the air in his lungs. Bucky then drove his elbow into the back of his head before dropping him like a stone. The pirate hat landed in the gutter off the sidewalk.

“Three.”

Y/N held her breath. All of Bucky’s movements were so precise. No energy was wasted. He was proficient in every step. It was terrifying. He was beautifully deadly.

Devil Horns charged at Bucky with a roar. He was shorter, but stout as a rock. His fists flew fast enough that Bucky had to block them with his arms. One of the punches thrust straight for Bucky’s nose. He caught the blow with his left hand. Devil Horns tried to yank back and grunted at the strain. She thought she saw Bucky smirk, but then he blurred again. With a wide swing, he spun Devil and drove him face first into the awaiting concrete. The man’s forehead hit it with a hard thud. He stumbled back three steps. Bucky grabbed the back of his head and smacked it against the brick wall a second time.

He slumped to the ground after that. Horns all askew. Blood dripped down from his hairline, mouth slack.

“Two.”

Bucky turned on fatty, who already had a shirt soaked in blood from her. He was holding onto his nose and panting loudly through his mouth in terror. All Buck had to do was take one challenging step forward. Jersey immediately booked it. He passed Bucky and ran straight into traffic. Seemed like he would much rather be hit by a car. Cars honked at him and skidded to a stop to keep from killing his ass. He just kept going. Skipped past the cars, and then disappeared around a corner across the street.

“One.”

She could feel the rage trembling through Circus Freak. A span of silence stretched between them as her captor debated on what to do.

With a whip, he flung her to the side, making fall hard onto the sidewalk. Her elbow smarted when it caught her deadweight, making her cry out in pain. Then she scuffled up as quick as she could, scooting back and out of the way. Y/N felt small down on the side walk, pressed back against the wall. Two goliaths fought it out in front of her.

Bucky dodged back as her attacker threw a fist. He dipped to the left. Weaved out of the way to the right. He narrowly avoided Ringleader’s punches. She wondered why he was being on the defensive more now. At least, she wondered until she caught the glint of the butterfly knife in Ringleader’s hand.

He knocked the knife out of the way and landed a solid punch on the guy’s jaw. It didn’t stop him, though. He just swung harder, faster. Fueled by rage and hurt pride. He crowded Bucky back until he was a step from the street. Cars whizzed by, and it seemed Ringleader wanted to shove Bucky under one of them. A semi-truck barreled down towards them, and she saw the heel of his shoe slip.

“Bucky!” She screamed in warning and his head whipped towards her. He stepped forward, towards her and away from the street. Distracted, she saw the flash of the blade before he did. Ringleader finally landed a sharp slice across his chest. She let out a sharp scream. Blood stained his white shirt. Bucky didn’t even wince. In fact, he didn’t react at all.

As Ringleader swung for a second swipe, he caught the guy’s arm in his left hand. His face carefully blank. Like he hadn’t been cut at all. He forced Ringleader back two steps and loomed over him. His mouth was set hard, and his silver eyes were the embodiment of winter.

Ringleader tugged, trying to get free. He swung loosely with his non-dominant hand, but Bucky caught that fist too. Then he squeezed. Only with his left hand. She watched at the man’s knees started to wobble under him. He dropped the blade with a clatter. Then he screamed.

“What the fuck?! Let me go you psycho! You’re gonna break­—” She luckily didn’t hear the crack of his bones. It was obvious in his wail, though. He kept going down until he was on his knees. Bucky let go of his non-dominant hand. Still kept his agonizing hold with his left.

Ringleader clawed at Bucky’s gloved hand with his free one. He tried to get free like a fox caught in a bear trap. Yanked so hard that she was surprised he didn’t dislocate his shoulder. The snow came down harder now. It caught on the brim of his top hat where it had fallen near his legs, making it almost grey. Bucky’s hair had come free from its pomade. It fell in his face as he stooped down to glare at the squirming man.

He wasn’t speaking. Wasn’t flinching when the man tried to pry the metal fingers off him. It was like he wasn’t there at all. Like his mind had checked out, and left behind a ghost.

“I’m sorry! Please man! Let me go!” His voice broke as he started to sob.

Y/N scrambled to her feet. Bucky wasn’t stopping. He already broke the guy’s hand. Yet he kept squeezing. The man was howling now, begging. Seemed like he might have even pissed himself. She took a couple steps towards them, hesitant at first. Bucky didn’t even seem to notice her anymore. He scared her like this. Terrified her to her very bones. She reached out a hand, but her feet were lead. Then Bucky brought back his flesh hand, ready to punch Ringleader again.

“Bucky!” She shouted, forcing herself to move. It took her just three easy steps to get beside him. She grabbed his fist in the air. Wasn’t strong enough to make it come down from its position, but she tugged anyway. Practically draped herself against him, holding his arm where it hung in the air next to her head “Stop! Stop it.” She spoke louder at first, but then softened her tone when she felt him freeze. He didn’t look at her. Just glared down at her attacker. “I’m ok. I’m alright now. Let him go. Please.” The muscles in his arm eased up just enough. She gently guided his flesh hand down, uncurling his fist. She pried at his fingers until his fist relaxed minutely.

“Y-ya man. L-listen to your girl you should j-just- Fuck!!” Bucky had started releasing his grip on the guy’s wrist, but the moment he started blabbering he squeezed again. A growl rumbled in his throat, like the guy personally offended him by breathing.

“Buck!” Y/N chastised him, reaching over and touching his metal hand. Probably for the very first time if she thought about it. She could feel it underneath the glove, harder than bone, and cold even through the material. “Please, let’s just go. He can’t hurt me anymore.” Probably wouldn’t hurt anyone anymore for a long time.

Bucky finally let go at her touch. He shoved Ringleader’s arm away like it disgusted him. Didn’t stop glowering at him, though. Still wouldn’t look at her. The man collapsed into a heap onto the sidewalk. His broken wrist was already blue, swollen, and bent wrong. It made her nauseous, so she stared back at Bucky’s face instead.

Ringleader scraped himself up after a minute and started to run away. Scrambled past the parking garage, down the snow dusted sidewalk. Shoes skidded a couple times, and his pants leg did have a noticeable damp spot. His arm was cradled to his chest. Only a yard away, he turned his head, coat bustling in the wind “Your dog’s a fucking psycho! Should keep him on a goddamn leash!” Then he jogged faster, letting his words disappear behind him. Like the coward he was.

Bucky tried to lunge after him. His muscles bunched under her hand as he snarled. She stepped in front of him just a second before he could start the chase. Y/N pressed herself to him, hands flat on his chest. The blood from his wound was hot against her hands, but she barely noticed. Too focused on blocking his path. Peering up at him, she realized that her eye had started to swell shut. He didn’t shove her out of the way. In fact, he finally looked down at her. It was like her action had finally broken him out of the fog he was in.

As they stared at each other for several long minutes, the defeated attackers slowly roused. One by one the other members of the group scraped themselves off the sidewalk. None of them were dead thank god. They quickly fled too. Silently, though. She barely paid them any attention. It was still snowing hard, and she watched as flakes caught in his eyelashes. Headlights cast shifting shadows around them. Wrestling like demons at their feet. She couldn’t help but question what demons Bucky kept locked inside of his head. Only demons could make someone fight as desperately as he just did.

Slowly, afraid of startling him, she reached up and touched his cheek. She cupped his face in her hands and studied him seriously “Are you alright?” Her thumb brushed over his bruised jaw. It did dawn on her that it was ironic for her to be asking him if he was alright. After everything that had happened. She did it anyway. He seemed to have lost himself during the fight. His eyes were focusing from somewhere far away. She couldn’t believe she just watched him break someone’s hand without flinching. With the adrenaline wearing off, she wanted to cry all over again.

Bucky blinked once. Then twice. He swallowed and grimaced. His flesh hand gently touched her left. His longer fingers cupped over hers. It was so warm. She could feel the calluses on his palms as he slowly guided her hand away. He didn’t touch her with his metal one, but she dropped her hand anyway. It was obvious he was uncomfortable with her touching him like that. She left small smudges of blood on his cheek.

“I’m fine. Are you ok?” He brought his right hand up and touched the side of her face. She winced, realizing that her cheek was still on fire. Her lip felt tender too when her tongue tested the dried blood.

“Why do guys always managed to hit a girl right across the cheekbone?” She asked, trying to make a joke but it landed flat. He didn’t even try to smile. His thumb brushed across her lip, and she grimaced, looking away. Ringleader’s hat was still on the ground right by her foot. She stepped on it, grinding it into the snow. When she moved her foot away, it inflated like a crumbled accordion. She thought maybe Bucky did snort at that. It was too quiet for her to be sure.

“God I’m a mess.” The words babbled out of her past the buzzing in her ears. She glanced down at herself. One knee was ripped open and so was her elbow, both were bleeding. Her jacket had come unzipped down to her ribs, leaving everything showing. Y/N brought her hand up to zip it back, but her fingers were shaking too much to get a good grip. Her breaths started to come in faster as she got more, and more frustrated. Her fingers were numb and clumsy.

Bucky’s hand came up and he covered her own, taking the damned thing. He slowly closed her jacket back up to her collarbones. She had never in her life been more grateful for such a simple action. His thumb stroked her collar just once, leaving a hot trail behind. Then his hands fell away.

Before she could find the words to thank him, her eyes caught the sheen of red on his chest “Y-You’re hurt, and b-bleeding a lot and you’re asking me if I’m ok?” She gave a hysterical laugh, tears already escaping her eyes again. They stung the cut the guy left on her cheekbone. Her hands shook as she brought them up. She wanted to get a better look at the cut. What if he needed stitches? What if he got a scar cause of her? Cause she distracted him like an idiot?

“I-I’m so sorry. I sh-shouldn’t have yelled. I was just so scared and—"

Bucky’s eyes widened, and he quickly brought up his arms. The motion cut off her babbling, uncontrollable apology. He tugged her into an enveloping, hard hug. She tried to protest as he pressed her against his wound, but then his chest rumbled as he started to talk. Her ear was trapped against his collarbone above the wound. It was the most comforting sound she had ever heard “I’m ok doll. Promise. It doesn’t hurt that much. Trust me, I’ve had worse.” He shushed her when she tried to speak “Believe me. Much worse.” Then he squeezed her shoulder lightly and rubbed. The metal hand he just used to crush someone’s arm rubbed hers with more tenderness than she had experienced in a very long time.

Somehow, it didn’t bother her at all.

Finally, once her shoulders stopped shaking and her gross sniffling died down, he pulled back. Bucky held her just a bit away, his hands still rubbing her shoulders. He reached up and wiped at her chin, grimacing. He gave a very weak, sheepish smile “Sorry, I got blood on your…” He trailed off, gesturing to her face. She just shrugged, too tired to care. There were a lot of things smeared on her face. Besides, she got blood on his too. Just didn’t even have the energy to tell him. When he noticed his left hand was still touching her, he dropped it down.

Y/N sniffed, trying to clear her nose. The cold snowy air hurt her lungs. Then she rubbed at her face as much as she could stand. Her eye felt tender and wouldn’t stop blurring.  Probably smudging tears, blood, and makeup all together. Then she spoke up, voice a bit rough “I don’t mind it.”

He raised his eyebrows at her, tilting his head a little. Confused. She shivered as a gust of wind caught her. Now that the adrenaline had passed, she was so frosty her teeth were starting to chatter. Still, she tried to elaborate “Y-Your metal arm doesn’t bother me.”

Bucky stared at her critically and then shook his head, as if she were ridiculous “Let’s get you home.” He sighed, wrapping an arm over her shoulders, his right one. The snow had covered any traces of a fight taking place at all. It was already sticking to the street, forming muddy tracks from the tires. He tucked her into his side where it was warm, under his jacket. Now that she had a calm minute, she enjoyed the way his smell enveloped her.

“I’m s-serious!” She still couldn’t stop shivering “It’s just another p-part of you. A-And I like y-you.” She glared up at him, trying to drill in her honesty with her eyes.

Bucky only stopped to consider at her after they reached his bike. He let her go and dusted the snow off the seat. Then he grabbed a helmet, offering it to her quietly. She was just about to speak up again when he finally whispered, “Thank you.” If she hadn’t been looking at him, she thought the words might have been stolen by the loud gust of wind.

There wasn’t much else she could say to that. So, she put on her silver helmet, and climbed onto the bike behind him. He shrugged out of his leather jacket, revealing a black unzipped hoodie underneath. He shoved his jacket into her hands, and she shrugged it on quietly, grateful. Everything ached too much for her to argue.

Bucky clasped on his own helmet and revved up the bike. When it jumped to life underneath her, she quickly wrapped her arms around his waist, stuffing them into the pockets of his jacket when the wind bit at her fingers. At least the helmet kept her ears warm. She thought she felt Bucky chuckle underneath her when she gripped tighter. He pulled on a second glove, zipped up his jacket, and then smoothly merged into the nighttime traffic.

The drive home wasn’t as wonderful as she thought it would be. Not after everything that just happened. Still, it was beautiful. He weaved through the cars with a precise control, that was definitely dangerous. It reminded her a little of how he fought. Daring, and proficient.

At lot of the time he passed cars without any legal right-of-way at all. Bucky went as fast as he could, and she wondered if he was running from something. Running from the demons she couldn’t see that nipped at his heels. Y/N never felt in harms way, though. If anything, he made her feel like they were flying. Like the bike was gliding up off the ground whenever she wasn’t looking. Colors blurred past her. Paint smudges on a canvas, outlined in charcoal. She bunched the fabric of Bucky’s jacket in her hands and turned her forehead to press against the broad of his back.

He covered her hand with his right one. Slipped it into the pocket and laced them together. His skin was warm on top of hers. Wistfully, she imagined he still had charcoal on his fingers. That the charcoal would smudged across her skin and stain it forever. Leaving a mark that would remind her he was there. Even when he wasn’t.

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