#sorry this is late again ive been trying to get better at taking care of myself and not overworking myself. lol. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

romanarose · 2 years

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Ive seen TF boys on your page and I wanted to know you thoughts on how the moonboys would comfort and help a bulimic reader?

Hi love! Happy to give you come HC's for this <3

My inbox is currently closed as im working through old requests/ working on writing fics, but I wanted to do this one bc its a very important subject to my heart, with how bad my bulimia permanently destroyed my disgestive system and teeth

Moon Boys with a Bulimic reader

Warnings: Bulimia, vomit, food restriction, binging and purging NSFW refernces (bc its jake)

Steven Grant

He had to stay late tonight at work, some of his students were a little lost on the subject matter, so he held a study session before finals to allow everyone a chance to clarify. He had felt bad for missing dinner, of course, but he brought cake back as an apology

When you didn't answer, he saw the bathroom door was closed, and just figured you were in there bathing as you often did after diner

when he comes to the door to say hello and let you know there's cake, he hears you crying, and quickly opens the door, knowing your history with mental health problems and worrying you hurt yourself or were going to. He saw you crying against the wall, not even looking at him, and saw remnants of throw up in the toilet that hadn't all gone down with the first flush, he initially thought you were sick

"oh darling, here, let's get you to bed. Is it your stomach-" He paused as he saw your hand, red and scratched knuckles covered in throw up. Oh.

"I'm sorry" you cry "I'm fucking gross"

"No, no darling, you're not, here" Steven gets a wet towel and gently cleans your face and hands, as well as any mess you might have made. He washed his hands, then went to scoop you up. "C'mere love, lets rest, yeah?" And carried you over to the bed, not mentioning the cake he brought. Laying you down with a blanket and your favorite stuffed animal, he brought you water and asked you to drink it, knowing how purges dehydrate. He had read every book he could find on eating disorders, the health effects and treatment. He knew your addictive personality made things worse, harder to break out of habits.

"How long had this been going on again?" he asked

"Today was the first relapse" you answered, but he gave you a look like he didn't believe you "I swear! That's why I was crying... all the progress went to waste" You lip quivers trying to get the last few words out

Steven sits down with you, holding you tight, assuring you that this didn't detract from your progress, that progress isn't linear, and you are still his strong, beautiful girl.

He holds you tight that night, they two of you whispering with the sheets pulled over your head like children staying up too late at a sleep over, whispering about how much you loved each other

Will keep a careful eye on you, and definitely takes over the cooking to make you nutritious food, oh you want to help! Even better, love

Marc Spector

When you first approached Marc about going to the gym with him, he was elated! He was so excited about showing you around, teaching you how to use equipment, and of course spending more time with you!

So you started going with him every time he went, he even bought you cute workout clothes. That might have been a bit selfish on his part. He like checking you out, and he liked the way men stared at you, until they realized you were with him. The caveman part of his brain loved posturing, and he especially loved how you only ever had eyes for him, no matter the stronger, fitter men and women there.

Then you got really into it. Marc thought this was a bit odd, but was happy to spend the time training you.

First warning sign was when you started drinking protein shakes in lieu of breakfast. Not the end of the world, you were never a huge breakfast person. But when you stopped eating lunch in favor of the shakes, he confronted you. You insisted they were just easier, and tasted so good, you just preferred it.

Then there was the day he had to take you home early from the gym because you weighed yourself and found you hadn't lost weight, and you began crying, no matter how much he tried to explain that you were gaining muscle, which is denser than fat, and he was so proud of you for how much you could lift now!

You stuck to the treadmill and elliptical from then on, which Marc hated. He'd run with you for a bit, but then opted to do weights. although he stayed nearby in case anyone caused you problems, he missed working with you. He couldn't even really focus, watching you strain yourself and look miserable

The last straw was when he went to bring you water, and you refused to stop or slow down. In the middle of a argument while you ran, he watched your eyes go blank. Thinking quickly, he pressed the emergency button and caught you as you fell, the treadmill only managed to give a few rug burns on your legs and knees.

When you came to in his arms, you were greeted by his angelic face insisting you drink the water he had. He spoke soft, but obviously very distressed. He asked you how long it had been since you'd eaten. The frown on his face was deep as you watched his eyes start to tear up.

"Don't cry, please" you ask.

"You really scared me" He smiled at you.

Marc drove you insane after that. "did you eat today?" "what did you have?" "did you eat all of it?" this man did not know the meaning of sublty

He babied, and I mean babied the shit out of you

Fucker wouldn't even let you ride him

You gotta sit this man down and tell him to knock it off or you're gonna scream

You make a deal. You start going to counseling, he has to start taking you to the gym again (he wouldn't let you go alone, that's fir sure)

He agrees. You focus back on the weights, less on weight loss. (marc took the scale out of the house. You may or may no have found it shattered in the dumpster when you took the trash out. Marc has beef with all scales now.)

You enjoy the weights, you enjoy feeling strong, and you definitely enjoy using it to bring out Marc’s subby side

Jake Lockley

It's hard not to feel sexy with this man

The pet names and compliments are none stop. You've began to wonder if he forgot your actual name.

During sex, he takes the term body worship to a new level. This man's mouth and hands are e v e r y w h e r e

Why are his hand's all over your arms? Why is he kissing your calves when he's got your feet over his shoulders? Why does he suck hickies between your thighs? Why does he bite and squeeze your hip dip? you'll never know, but you love it

But you and him both know that sometimes, eating problems aren't about body image, but about control, and compulsions. And a little bit of body image because fuck, who doesn't struggle with that sometimes?

When he sees the warning signs, you hiding your body from him, not wanting to eat with him, generally being distant again, he always asks. He doesn't come on as intense as Marc with his protectiveness, but he will mentally keep track of your eating, and try to coax you into eating something if he see's you sipping meals. He has deficiently taken your car keys once, not because he was trying to keep you home, but because he didn't think you were safe to drive the busy streets.

Buys you literally anything he thinks might help. If its not about your body necessarily, he'll get you whatever you think might help you feel in control. Wanna craft? He'll build you a shelf and buy you all the fucking yarn in the world. Wana have a lil world you can control? Every sims pack you can imagine. Cat? Plants? A lizard? Fuck it, yeah, he'll buy you a lizard. Coolest lizard ever. He'll take lil charizard on a walk with you if thats what you want

All the boys

You're getting vitamins

And water!!! If you're throwing up, you're going to at least stay hydrated.

Bathroom lock is either taken out, or there's a spare key. Not out of control, no, they know you'll find a way to do it if you really want to, but in case of emergency

Will encourage therapy and medication, if you think it's right for you, maybe at least to try for a bit?

Never, ever, shame you for how you feel or act. You can tell them if you are having urges, need a distraction.

Steven and Jake make sure to keep Marc's protective nature in check, to make sure you aren't deterred from talking to them.

constantly shower you in praise and love and compliments

Always always always tell you how proud they are of you, even if you relapse, bc look how well you were doing! That means you can absolutely do it again!

I hope this was nice! I really love these 3 and I feel they would all be so supportive (even if marc might be a lil much sometimes XD It's okay, we love him <3 )

not tagging anyone today, but please be sure to comment/reblog if you liked this!

#steven grant #steven grant x reader #marc spector #marc spector x reader #jake lockley #jake lockley x reader #moon knight #moon knight thoughts #tw: eating disorder #tw: bulimia

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pacific-rimbaud · 1 year

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Thank you SO MUCH for your panville works. I find it therapeutic to read the caring and deeply loving dynamic you embed in them. Also love how you deal with Pansy's background and trauma. While she is by no means unprivileged, I think her wounds resonate deeply with anyone for whom parental love was unstable in childhood. Your writing inspires me so much. I hope you know the positive impact you have on fellow internet strangers. Fr I've reread a dress with pockets more times I care to admit and RoT is on its 3rd re read because it helps me deal with shitty days.

I have two questions regarding your own visualization of the characters in RoT that may fall out of the scope of the actual story (I imagine you might not delve into these too much even if you do have an idea of them in your head)

1. Do you imagine Pansy's mother's own trauma too, when you write? Like what are the wounds that made her such a cold/unloving parent to Pansy?

Ive been thinking of it as being classic objectification of pureblood women for future marriage. Like Pansy's mother never wanted to have a child but was forced to because she's a woman and that's her duty. Would you agree with this or is she a much more sinister character?

2. In what concrete ways would you say Pansy's strengths complemented Neville's weaknesses when they began dating? We see their relationship in a super specific context where they are in their late 20s but Pansy's growth got somewhat reverted to her teenage/younger years (so it makes complete sense we see her mostly being taken care of by Neville!!). But I ask because Harry's witty response to Pansy regarding Neville "deserving what he wants" made me feel a bit sad.

Like I get that Neville's a lot more emotionally sound than she is, but I guess it made me think about whether Pansy's life is "earned" beyond her trying to be better just for Neville's sake.

I imagine her fierce protectiveness of those she loves and her ability to set boundaries without taking people's shit must have been very attractive to a younger Neville?

Sorry if this question is too obvious. I think it hits close. I relate with Pansy's trauma and waking up one day as Neville's wife would indeed feel like heaven (thank you again Harry!). But I could not imagine being able to correspond to a love like that in ways that society traditionally categorizes as love.

Much love. Thank you again for sharing your beautiful brain with us xx

Thank you so much for reading! Truly so appreciative that anyone takes the time to follow a novel-length rare pair fic.

Answers under the cut!

Pansy's mother did not want kids. Full stop. Her father was indifferent to the idea, but definitely didn't want to marry Pansy's mother. My headcanon is that Pansy's mother had an ill-advised fling with Pansy's entitled rake of a father as a young woman, became pregnant, and was compelled to enter into a miserable, lonely marriage and raise a child she had absolutely no affection for. Pansy's father was interested when he chose to be, which wasn't often. Nonexistent or unreliable attachment all around. And so it's clear, this characterization isn't an excuse or attempted explanation for Pansy's cruelty as a child. I've known many casually cruel children over the years. It's not at all unusual. Heartbreaking and yet garden variety example: a few socioeconomically privileged kids in my son's class recently approached another group of children, some of whom have serious challenges at home, and told them that their mothers didn't love them as much as their mothers. Kids can be mind-bogglingly vicious people, even with the "right" parenting. They're kids! Their brains aren't fully cooked yet. Moving the empathy needle and fostering healthy culture in a school requires skillful adult intervention, which obviously was not happening at Hogwarts. Pansy's upbringing in this story is an explanation for why she struggles to be vulnerable, why she's so deeply haunted by a history of feeling unlovable, and why the prospect of motherhood in general and an unplanned pregnancy in particular carries a special horror for her. Basically what makes your second question a little tricky to answer....

...because she's such an unreliable witness to her own life in this. I love fanon Pansy more than anything. She's abrasive, sometimes filterless, terrifyingly perceptive, doesn't suffer fools. Which I just love so much. She's someone who cannot be other than herself, and that self is often pretty spiky. But if someone can get inside, she's also unrestrained in her tenderness. Once Pansy is on your side, you're ride or die. She'd do anything for you. Definitely would help you bury a body. And what I deeply love about Panville is that Neville gets to go further: he gets the innermost parts of her, which truly are so, so sweet and open and loving. She's an incredible partner. Neville has it made and knows it. And to try to answer your question, I don't tend to think about what they bring to the table, or whether anyone "deserves" anything, which is the error Pansy keeps making. I see them very much in the vein of, "I was in the middle before I knew I that I had begun." They're the catching feelings pair, whether it's friends to lovers or casual hook up to something more, because absolutely no way does she ever go into anything at all intending to be vulnerable. But he has the intuition of someone used to paying attention from the sidelines. He's curious. There's something there. He doesn't know what it is, but he'd like to. With enough patience, she unfurls. It's about the power of attentiveness and the inexplicable magic of deep connection. The payoff for Neville risking getting close enough to Pansy to peek inside is a spiky little wife who can't get enough of him in bed, has a full life of her own with passions and interests and relationships and is also deeply invested in their domestic happiness. She is profoundly, unswervingly in his corner. She sees and knows him. The payoff for Pansy risking her heart is this beautiful, kind, loyal man who adores her and whose sensibilities and preferences perfectly align with her own practical nature. He also happens to make great scones. Neither of them grew up understanding what they have was even possible, and I hope it's clear in the story that they both deserve every minute of it. 💜

#you asked I answered #remember one thing #panville #pansy parkinson #neville longbottom #long post

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dre6ming · 2 years

Text

The delicate beginning rush

Chapter V ~ Torn

Masterlist

Chapter IV ~ decode

Chapter VI ~ my darling

Instagram photo dump masterlist

To be added to the tag click here

Pairing: Austin Butler x singer/actress fem reader

Warning: age gap, fluff, cursing, angst … that’s all

Word count: ~7030

Plot: after a perfect day with Austin that arises many questions not only within the public, but within yourself, you feel torn. Torn between two people, as your heart seems to be more malleable than expected

Disclaimer: everything I write is fake and should be read as such. <except for the songs I reference>

"(Y/n)..." I groan in my sleep cuddling my face further into the pillow. "Wake up, we fell asleep." A hand smooths down my back, shaking me awake. As my brain finally catches up to what's happening, my eyes fly open and I jerk up. We fell asleep, we, me and Austin. Austin and me. Alone. "Easy." He's voice is soft, calm. The room is dark, meaning we've been sleeping for a few hours now, since it was daylight when we got here. I can see the sparkle of his blue eyes in the moonlight coming through the huge windows, barley being able to make out his features in the dim light. "I'm sorry" Austin smiles shaking his head, causing my body to relax a bit, but I'm still on high alert.

Looking around for my phone , I get it out of my purse, that was laying on the ground. Quickly opening the home app and turning on the lights, causing the both of us to squint our eyes in an attempt to get used to the bright room. Austin looks heavenly, with his eyes still a bit sleepy and hair disheveled. "I'm sorry." I say again, looking at my lap and fiddling with my fingers, picking at the skin there, a bad habit of mine.

He takes my hands in his, stopping my assault on my poor fingers and forcing me to look at him. "Hey, it's ok, as long as you feel better, all's good" I nod sighing at the memory of what brought us here. "I should've just taken the stupid picture with him." I say, thinking I could've easily done that and spared myself a lot of trouble. "No, you shouldn't have, people need to understand boundaries, you were nice and offered to sign something instead, he was the dick. Excuse my language." I giggle at the fact that he just excused himself for cursing. "It's ok. Yeah I guess you're right, but still." Shrugging my shoulders, I move my eyes from his face to my lap, where our hands are intertwined.

"No, stop that, it wasn't your fault and he should've been more respectful. What a perv, that's not the way you talk to a girl, to anyone for that matter." Austin is visibly still annoyed by the dude's behavior and that somehow gets my heart to pick up, beating faster in my chest. I don't know why, but seeing him care like this, just make me feel a certain type of way. Cared for? Protected? Maybe, I guess. Ugh I try to keep my mind straight and find parallels between him and Timmy, forcing myself to draw a line between friends and something more, because I know it's all in my head. I know he couldn't possibly find me attractive and even if he did, there's still so many reasons why this is wrong.

"He wasn't lying tho. About the pictures. They were for the movie. Um ... in the book, Amelia is challenged by this group of girls to take pictures of herself in lingerie and post them online. I agreed to them back then, but I'm starting to regret it now. People are sick in the head." He listens to me talk as his warm callused fingers draw circles over my hands. "Doesn't matter the context of the photos. Dude was way out of line." Austin assures me. I know that, I do. When I first took the pictures, that was the first time I saw myself a sensual person, the pictures looked good, nothing too exposing and I was beautiful in them. It's awful that the dirty mind of others had to tint that for me. The photos never bothered me, it was other people seeing them, that got me stressing out.

I look over at the clock on the wall, seeing it's 8:40 pm, late, but not too late. "Um do you want dinner or something? Or if you want to go I can call my driver to come take you back to your hotel." Was asking him to stay for dinner again, too much? Am I being inappropriate? Ugh I wish this was easier, but it's not. I don't even want to think about all the gossip that's probably going around. I'm sure if I opened my instagram right now, I'd be bombarded with pictures and comments. "Sure, if it's ok with you, I can stay for dinner." Austin answers, leaving me completely clueless about what this thing between us is supposed to be and when too much is too much.

"Ok, we can order something, what do you want?" I ask as I take my hands out of his and fight the urge to wince at the cold air hitting my skin once out of his flaming hot hands. "I'm fine with whatever, maybe we can do pizza? Or if you don't feel like ordering what would you say to some grilled cheese sandwiches?" He suggests.

"Damn I think I'd kill for one right now, Timmy makes the best" Austin giggles at me, brushing his hair back with his hands. As I move around on the couch, I notice his jacket still hanging over me like a blanket. "Well then I'll take that as a challenge. Can I?" He asks pointing in the direction of the kitchen and I nod biting my lip to stop the cheeky smile making it's way onto my face. I swear I'm acting so strange around him, almost like all the filters I usually put up in order to seem a bit more tame are just crumbling with him. And don't take this like I'm usually faking how I act or shit, but usually when I meet new people I'm more reserved and anxious, shy even, but there has almost been none of that with him. It's like we've known each other for a life time now, old friends.

Austin gets up from the couch and I do the same, taking my phone and following him into the kitchen, where he starts looking through the fridge, taking out everything he needs. I go over to the cabinet where I keep the cat food and fill their bowls, the two little angles coming to feast. "Good boys" I praise them petting their soft fur, feeling the vibrations of their purring.

Sitting down at the kitchen island, I watch as Austin moves gracefully around the place, preparing the food. He looks so in his element, it's clear that his passionate about cooking. Opening my phone I can't fight the urge to go on instagram, immediately seeing the thousands of posts about me and Austin. Pictures of me and him walking, laughing and eating. We look so good together. 'Oh my god, stop that' I scold myself, rolling my eyes at how delusional I can be. I also make the mistake to look at the comments. 90% of them are calling him a cheater and me shameless, for going after another girls boyfriend. That's actually the first time in a long while that I think of Kaia. My hands start sweating profusely and I swallow trying to make the sudden tightness in my throat go away.

"Everything ok?" Austin asks taking me out of my thoughts. I clear my throat and lick my lips, avoiding the way his eyes linger over them. "Austin does Kaia know that you're here?" I don't know how her knowing would change much, I guess in the end it would ease my mind a bit. And all that matters is that us three know the truth, that nothing is going on, the rest, can and will be ignored. He looks at me with a puzzled look, like he doesn't see my question relevant. "Yeah she does, I guess, I don't know, we don't tell each other everything."

What am I supposed to gather from that? Like what am I to make of him saying things like that? Pointing to his relationship being fake or at most not serious. It's not new or unheard of, PR stunts like this, but still. "Why?" He follows, curious to see why I'd bring that up now. "Because we were photographed together, alone, for a second time. I know it's nothing, but I don't want Kaia to get the wrong impression." He's cutting up some cheese to put in the sandwich as I speak.

"We're just friends, she knows and we don't keep tabs on each other." I nod, just friends, but the way his tone sounds - defensive, almost worries me and I can't stop the words before they come out of my mouth. "Are you two PR?" He whips his head up, looking at me and I avert my eyes. "I'm sorry, I don't mean to assume, but it's just the way you talk about the whole thing-" he sighs, stopping me mid rambling. I look at him. "We are, but I want you to know I was against it. I believe relationships are sacred and this is just..." he pauses a second. "Just not that."

Ok I don't know what to say, what am I supposed to say? I can't say I'm sorry. He works on the food as silence fills the kitchen, tension so thick you could cut it with a knife. I look at my phone, trying to occupy myself with something and I see the texts from Timmy, he must of seen the pictures as well.

Timmy💝:

Hey, today went great, I'm pretty tired so I'll probably be out cold for the rest of the day, call me tomorrow when you wake.

I smile happy to hear that his work was going great and relieved that he hasn't seen the photos yet. "Please say something!" I look up at Austin, who's eyes watch me back pleading. My mouth opens and closes, not sure what to say. Looking down he turns around to face the stove and puts the sandwiches in the pan, to cook. "I don't think less of you Austin, it's not even my business to know the insides of your relationship. I talked before thinking." He turns back at me, prompting himself on his hands, that are balled into tight fists against the black marble of the counter. "I'm not used to being the talk of everything. I knew when I got the role, it'll be like this, I almost wished I didn't get it, because of how afraid I was of all this. Then my team goes completely nuts and they have me do all these things, to arouse interest. I ruined my 10 year old relationship because of this." He stops to flip the sandwiches, quickly turning to face me.

"She, Vanessa, she tried to tell me, that it'll all get too much, that I should be cautious, but I got angry with her and we started bickering and then I was in Australia filming and we decided maybe a break would help. The next thing I know it's been months since talking and then they come to me with this." I get up and move over to him, hugging him, as he rests his head on top of mine. Austin relaxes, moving his arms to hug me back.

We hug for a while, but he takes one of his arms away at one point to turn off the stove, so the food doesn't burn. From where I'm sitting with my cheek against the soft fabric of his denim shirt, I can hear his strong heart beating and I can feel each breath he takes. "I understand how overwhelming it all can be, I'm lucky to be working with a team that understands my boundaries, but still I'm young and still at the beginning, so in the future who knows, what prepositions they might make. You are an incredible person, I can tell. I'm sure if you would take the time to apologize to her she'll understand."

"You have no idea how good it feels to have someone know about this, I haven't told anyone, I don't know why I told you, but I trust you. Feels like I've known you a lifetime." Austin's voice is low and it sends shivers down my spine as his words seep into my heart, warming it. My insides feel light and my mind cloudy, the proximity of him, suddenly being too much. The way he smells, like oranges and cloves, the way his muscles flex around me, the way his breath fans over the hair on top of my head, the way his chin rests on my head. Everything, everything is all too much. My brain can barely form coherent thoughts, in order to force me to keep my feet on the ground. I wish I could explain everything to myself, so that maybe I could find a way to deal with all these emotions. There's a magnetic field around Austin, something so enticing and scary at the same time, but the electric current cursing through my body when I'm close to him is addicting. Dangerously addicting. "Would it be weird if I said that I feel the same?" I ask cautious.

Austin's arms tighten around me, in a silent way of saying 'No, it's not'. "I don't think she wants my forgiveness and I don't know what that would do for us, she's with someone else and I no longer think of her like that. I still love her, I do, but not the same way I used to." I pull away an inch so I can look up at him, sparkling blue eyes, staring into mine.

"But wouldn't you feel better knowing that you did right by her?" He seems to think over what I just said. "I guess you're right, I owe her that and myself a bit." We break apart and I go to take out two plates for us to eat on. He places the sandwiches on each pate and we grab them, moving over to the living room. As I sit down on the couch I notice his eyes looking somewhere behind me and following his gaze my eyes land on my guitar. "I've had it since I was 8, I saved up money for it and bought it second hand. A few years ago I had it taken into a shop to be reconditioned, but I specifically asked for my Hannah Montana stickers to stay on, so they put something over them to preserve them."

Austin chuckles lightly at me talking about my old guitar. I put the plate down on the coffee table and get up to pick up the guitar. "Play something, can I hear an original?" He asks. I'm a bit reluctant about sharing any of my songs before the album is completely done, but I guess I could make an exception for him. "Ok, but you haven't heard anything, got it? Otherwise..." I motion slicing my throat and he laughs, at my silliness.

I touch the cords with the pads of my fingers and play an easy progression, trying to buy time to about which song I want to play him. "There was a time, when I was alone, with nowhere to go and no place to call home..." my voice sings as I close my eyes, getting lost in the meaning of the song. "Lost boy" is a sweet song I wrote drawing inspiration form the story of Peter Pan and how when I was young I used to dream of going to Neverland, thinking there I wouldn't feel so alone. "...I am a lost boy, from Neverland, usually hanging out with Peter Pan." I keep going.

The feeling of loneliness is one I've grown to know to be a good friend, always my companion. No matter how many people I surround myself with, there are few times I don't feel alone. So far not much has been able to push that feeling away, not Timmy, not Roxanne, not my cats, not my therapist, who I'm definitely overpaying. "...And lost boys, like me are free" sighing I finish the song and put the guitar next to me on the couch.

"You wrote that?" I nod my head, taking a small bite of the sandwich, enjoying the savory taste of it, it has the perfect amount of cheese. "It's beautiful, but it seems so sad." I can read the pity in Austin's voice, but I push that away, trying not to get caught up. "Yeah, I guess... but just, I don't know." I don't know how to explain myself, because no matter how close I feel to him, he's still just a stranger to me. "You don't need to explain, I get it, kind of." A weak smile makes it's way onto my lips, as he gestures assuring me, there's no need to explain myself.

We sit in silence, eating and when we're done, he takes the plates to the kitchen, to put them in the dishwasher. By now 10pm is rolling around and I know he has to leave soon, but I kind of wish this day would never end. As Austin comes back, I move over to my huge record collection to place my latest acquisitions. "Are you busy tomorrow?" Austin asks, making me whip my head around quickly. "Yeah, I'm sorry, I don't think we'll get to see each other before you leave New York, I have lots to do." He nods sitting down.

"Well I guess I should go, it was nice spending time with you. Let's keep in touch?" Austin proposes. I know I should probably say 'sure, why not' just so I could ghost him and move on, but my tongue moves before my brain gets a chance to fight it. "Yeah, of course. Um come on, I'll walk you out." He smiles brightly at me and we walk over to the door.

I wait for him to put his shoes back on and then his jacket. One of his long fingers pushes the call button for the elevator. As we wait, he looks me over, from head to toe and just before the ding of the elevator is heard, he opens his mouth to say something, but he never does. Instead he comes closer and kisses my cheek. Austin's plush pink lips, warm and wet against my skin. I'm frozen, moving a hand to his chest to prompt myself. "Goodnight (y/n)!" Has my name ever sounded so obscene? No. Has my heart ever skipped the way it just did? No.

Austin gets into the elevator and before the doors close, I mumble I quick 'goodnight', the last thing that I see being his bright smile as he chuckles shaking his head. When the door close and all that's left of him is the smell of his cologne, I touch my cheek, a ghost of his kiss still lingering there.

After forever sat in the entryway, eyes glued to those goddamn doors, like if I looked for long enough or hard enough, they would open to reveal him again. My shoulders slump as I realize how stupid I am being right now, so instead of shaming myself further I go to my room to get ready for sleep.

The getting ready part was easy, falling asleep? Different story. I'm tossing and turning, throwing fists at my innocent covers. Sighing I turn on my bed side lamp, taking my journal and pen. Putting the date down:

Feb 27th 2022

I can't seem to quiet my mind and it feels like my skin is burning for something, if I were to be honest right now I might know what it is I'm longing for. It's him... it just feels too real for it to be just in my head, he must of felt it too. Right? He's just so handsome, but there's more than surface beauty to him, there's a warmth within his soul. I know it, because I've met beautiful men and women before, but neither of them ever left me like this. I can't even find a word to describe myself right now - a mixture of too many feelings, good and bad. Should I just bite my heart and do what I do best? Put it in a song? But how would that sound? A love song for him? About him?

Tapping the pen against my chin, I take a moment to think. It needs to be a song that's not to obvious, something that could be about anyone. I just have to be vague, no mentioning his blue eyes, or honey blonde hair, or those god forsaken plump lips. Think about what I like that could be anyone else's, not just his. I really love the way he says my name, the way he wears himself, the way he looks at me. Putting pen to paper again, I start scribbling.

Maybe it's the way you say my name

Maybe it's the way you move around play your game

But it's so good

I've never felt like this before known anybody like you

Ok this sounds like it could be going somewhere, but I need to be at the piano. Jumping out of bed I rush to get the song playing through the room. Sitting down at my piano, looking over the shiny New York, I play a melody, singing my lyrics over it. "I'm in a field of dandelions, wishing on everyone that you were mine." I sing, getting lost in the music. This is my first ever love song. Love... is this really what I'm doing? Falling in love? I blink at the piano keys, my fingers stuck. Picking the pen up, I go to write down the lyrics, scratching over some of the words and replacing them with others.

Taking a deep breath I keep on playing, singing, then writing down the lyrics. By the time the song feels done, I glance at the clock, it's 3:50 am. Cursing at myself, I close my eyes, rubbing harshly at them. I need to be in the studio at 8am, so if I fall asleep now I might get 3 good hours of sleep, so I carry my heavy feet over to my bedroom, falling on the soft bed. By some miracle I do fall asleep, thankfully a dreamless sleep, so 3 hours later when my alarm wakes me up, as angry as I am at it, I'm actually excited to be in the studio and show Jack the new song.

Taking a quick shower, dressing casually in a pair of black jeans, with a simple cotton long sleeve shirt, in a cream color and a dark green teddy bear jacket on top, cause today feels colder than yesterday. Gathering my things, I feed Simba and William and after a small session of sharing kisses with them, I leave. "Morning, miss!" Matthew, my diver, smiles at me, holding the car door open. "Morning Matt, did you have a good weekend?" I like to make sure that the people who work around me are happy and know they can trust me to understand their needs as well as they understand mine. We make small talk on the way to the studio, but I can't help fidgeting in my seat, so when we get to the studio I almost burst through the door.

"Jack I just wrote a song, you need to hear" he giggles at my enthusiasm as I pull my notebook out, sitting down at the piano without even taking my jacket off. After I play him the song I turn to him expectedly. "Wow, a love song? That's new, anyone in particular?" Jack winks at me, sitting down at the computer, working around to start on the record. "N-no n-no one." He chuckles slightly at my stammering. I choose to ignore it and finally taking off my jacket, I start working with him.

Four hours later, the song is almost done, but I have to run for a photo shoot I need to do with Prada, for some of their new collection. Saying my goodbyes to Jack, I put my glasses on and add a beanie, hoping to not be recognized, but it's useless, a sea of paparazzi already waiting out for me. "(Y/n) are you with Butler?" "Is he cheating on Kaia?" "Don't you think he's too old for you?" "What were you recording?" "Should we expect an album?"

I avoid all questions and get into my car, telling Matt to drive away so we can get there in time, I still need to make it to that 3pm lunch with Joshua, which speaking of I should check if he send me the place where he'd like to meet. Opening my dms I find myself smiling the notification next to his name.

joshuatbassett:

Morning, what do you think of this place: location. It's my favorite in NY!

y/n4real.2002

Never been, but it works for me. See you at 3?

joshuatbassett:

Sure thing, can't wait 💟

y/n4real.2002:

Me neither, c u ❣️

I can't fight the blush in my cheeks and I swing my feel around like a school girl, squirming in my seat. "Good news?" Matt asks looking over at me in the rear view mirror. "Yeah" I say, pushing some hair behind my ear and looking out the window, already running in my head the different scenarios of how this could work. Since his first dm, I've been looking into him a bit and I do have to say I'm extremely smitten by him. Also I can't get his song out of my head and I've been slowly writing a song opposite to his, a different way of loving, or better yet not loving.

that.gossip.blog

Liked by fan23, hate2 and 503.382others

that.gossip.blog: y/n4real.2002 leaving the studio early this morning, after a session with jackantonoff. Now that could mean one or two things, she's either working on more original songs or she's working on something for taylorswift again. People who were there report, that she avoided all paparazzi questions and when asked about the relationship with Butler, she had no reaction, so that topic also remains a mystery.

View all comments

fan34: omg omg I'm telling you, it's an album, she must be working on an album.

↳fan2: for sure, she has to be.

↳tsfan13: an album from her would be a dream, she's Taylor's kid

hater2: ofc she would avoid questions about him 🙄

↳fan3: I don't see why she owes any expectations

↳kaiafan4: um maybe cause he's taken?

↳fan039: they were just on a walk, can we chill?

ts13fan26: I choose to clown, for Speak Now (TV) 🤡

↳caTs.fan: right there with you 🤡🤝🤡

abfan2: can we just drop this narrative that makes them both look like horrible people? We know them for gods sake

↳hater45: do we? Cause we know what the choose to tell.

↳abfan021: I choose the benefit of the doubt

After some very long hours of taking photos in tight clothes, contorting myself in all strange positions, I'm done. The make up team is working on taking off the glam as I shoot Timmy a quick text.

Me:

Can I call you in 20? I forgot this morning sry😬😬

Timmy💝:

Yeah sure, no worries, I know you're busy.

Changing my green jacket for a black blazer, as it's much warmer now, then it was in the morning, I hop in the car and tell Matt to drive to the small restaurant where Joshua said he'd meet me. I take my phone out and call Timmy, his voice coming through the other end only after the first ring. "Hi there Tim!" I smile, happy to be talking to him. "Listen you know I love you and I trust you, I choose to not get into detail about those pictures, I just need to know, are you ok?" He asks and I swallow thickly. "Yeah I am, we are just friends, he asked me to show him around a bit, I took him to Frank's store." Timmy chuckles lightly, making me calm down a bit. "I trust you honey and in a way I think I trust him too. Happy to hear you're ok, you sound it even." I'm surprised by his statement. "I do?"

"Yeah, I can't tell you, but your voice has that jovial tone I haven't herd in a minute." My eyes gloss over with tears and I giggle. "Thanks! I'm on my way to meet Joshua, I'm nervous! How was work? Is it scary?" I shoot question after question, making him laugh. "Slow down, glad to hear you're nervous about your date, calm down it'll be fine. Yes, work has been great, it's definitely darker then I expected, but I think I've got this." I listen to him talk as he gets more into detail about filming. "That's sounds amazing, but I still miss you lots, gotta go now, I'm almost at the restaurant." Timmy shuffles around, causing some static to come through. "Ok, good luck, be safe and be yourself. Love you!"

"Love you too" I end the call and get out of the car, smiling at the fact that Joshua is already here, bouncing one leg up and down, reading a newspaper. "Hello, nice to meet you, hope I'm not late!" I say apologetic, as his eyes shoot up at me, a smile spreading on his face. Joshua gets up, sitting only a few inches taller then me. "N-no you're right on time, please!" He shows me the empty seat in front of him.

I sit down and he hands me a blue cap. Shooting him a quizzing look, he laughs nervously, placing a matching one on his head. "Thought we could try and pull a Steve Rogers, cap to not be recognized?" I put the cap on and laugh at his marvel reference. "Well that's a good idea. I take it you like marvel?" I ask looking over the menu. "Yeah, I do, but I'm not really over Endgame yet." We share a laugh. "Neither am I" I say scrunching my nose up.

A sweet girl comes over to take our order and we seem to be straight on the same page as we order the same thing, without even knowing. "So what's new in the papers? I don't think I've seen one in a minute." He chuckles, brushing back some of his chocolate curls, handing me the newspaper. "Nothing much, the news is pretty boring, too much politics and all, but it gives me so to do without looking at my phone." I read one of the titles, dropping the paper, the latest football scandal not being my cup of tea.

"So do you like New York?" I ask, sipping some coffee the waiters just brought over. "Yes I do, I'm actually looking for a place to buy here, lately California has been too much, LA just doesn't do it for me anymore" his brown eyes glimmer and I can't help but get lost in the depth of them. "If you ask me New York is the best, something new to do at all times and people rarely care to look around, so it's easy to get lost in the crowd." He smiles at me, thanking the waitress for the food without taking his eyes off of me. "You'll have to show me, cause I do agree with you, but I haven't spent much time in New York. Any place you love, that's like a secret?"

I giggle, eating some of the pasta I ordered. "Well if I told you it wouldn't be a secret anymore, would it?" Joshua shakes his head adjusting the hat on his head, eating a bit as well. "Could be our secret." He says looking at me. I blush like crazy and look down, his stare too much for me. I can't ignore the way my heart skips a beat, or the way my breath get caught in the back of my throat. "Could be." I mumble, looking at him through my lashes. A blush appears on his round cheeks, as he wiggles around in his seat.

"You look beautiful today by the way, not that you don't look beautiful every day, but-" "Thank you" I giggle at his sweet demeanor, a blush creeping up on both of our cheeks now. He let's out a little laugh as well and we both break into hysterics over how we're both acting, like two little kids. "So I think I should tell you the concept for the video" Joshua adds and I nod. "Well this song was inspired by my parents, they were highschool sweethearts, so I was thinking we could play them in the video." I watch as he goes on to tell me about how the whole thing would play out, starting with me walking down the aisle at our wedding and then cutting into a montage of memories from the past, how we met, our prom, graduation, every little thing that led up to us ending at the altar.

"That's so beautiful, I'd be honored to do it. I'm happy you thought of me for this." Licking his lips, they stretch out into a bright smile. "I know it might of seemed a bit out of the blue, but I've been a fan for a while and this song means a lot to me, so I thought: it's now or never Josh" he scratches the back of his head, snickering at himself. "This pasta is really good, I've never been here before." I say looking around the small restaurant. The place is almost too small to be called a restaurant, a hew tables inside and a few outside where we're sat. The early spring is starting to make it's away in New York, the shy sunshine giving everything a beautiful glow. "I found it a year ago I think, I had a few gigs to play here in New York and one of my band mates told me about this place." I wipe my lips with a tissue before speaking. "It's nice, not very common for the upper east side, I'll be for sure coming back"

We eat together, talking about little nothings, making small conversation, laughing here and there. Soon enough an hour has past but it barely feels like I've been here a minute. I haven't felt this good in a minute, like there's no worry in the world and no pressure. It doesn't matter if we get photographed together, doesn't matter if we waste too much time, nothing matters, just us. "Hang on" he leans over the table and brushes some of my hair out of my face, lifting the cap off of my head, surprising me with a small kiss, on the top of my forehead. He sits back down, blushing profusely as I'm still a bit starstruck. "That was-" "lovely" we talk over each other and our eyes meet, getting stuck.

I can feel myself leaning closer to him, still staring into his eyes, mesmerized by the dark chocolate color of them. I never knew I'd find brown eyes to be beautiful, but right now I do. Being so close to him I can smell the faint perfume of his cologne, young and bold, a bit minty with some flower undertones, very different from Austin's, dark musky scent. Before I can get any closer, my phone rings, pulling us out of the trance we've been stuck into. "Sorry" I mumble before answering Levis, my assistant.

"Hi I'm at your place, are you on your way? I want to give you the scripts I have and go over some more scheduling for the upcoming month." I sigh, pinching the bridge of my nose, I completely forgot about him coming over. Looking at my watch, I'm only 30 minutes late. "I'll be there in 30, please excuse me!" Levis assures me that's all fine and I put my phone in my bag, after texting Matt to bring the car around. "I have to go, have your assistant email mine. I loved having lunch with you, Josh" I say pushing him, the card for my assistant.

"I had a good time as well." We both get up and share a tight hug. I allow myself to breathe in his scent, and I can't help but notice he does the same. As we pull apart, our hands linger over each other. "Give me your phone." I say and he complies. I quickly put my number in, naming the contact (Y/n)💟. Giving him the phone back, he sucks in a breath, noticing the emoji I used. "I guess it's our thing now, the Purple Heart?" Joshua asks tilting his head. "I guess so."

"Well I'm happy, cause I didn't know if this would be too much" he says, before searching in the pockets of his coat, pulling out a small velvet bag. "Give me your hand" he says and I put my hand forward, his fingers working on opening the little bag and then turning it upside down he shakes it softly. Something small and silver lands in my hand and he put the velvet bag away, taking the thing, that I now see it's a bracelet, out of the palm of my hand. "Allow me, please" he says.

I lift the sleeve of my blazer slightly and he puts the bracelet on. It's a dainty silver chain with a Purple Heart. The jewelry sits nicely on my wrist and I can't help the way my heart stops in it's tracks. I look up at him wide eyed and throw my arms around his neck, holding him tight. "Thank you, I love it." I say and give his cheek a small kiss. Joshua's hands go to my waist holding me tight to him. "You're very welcome, honey" the pet name, makes my knees buckle, as I snuggle my face further into his neck. "I have to go, I'm sorry."

He shakes his head, bringing his hands up to my face. "Don't be, I'll call you tomorrow, would that be ok?" Joshua asks. "Yes it would" I smile and pull away from him, when Matt stops the car next to us. I give him one more look and blow him a kiss, getting in the car. He fakes catching the kiss against his heart, making me laugh.

Matt drives away and I look at Joshua through the tinted windows. I'm smiling like crazy and I feel butterflies in my stomach. It's so strange, what's going on with me, getting so easily swept away by these men. Am I going insane? Probably, although there's this small voice in the back of my head, saying I'm just growing up and allowing myself to feel these things for once. "Did you have a good time, miss?" Matt asks me, being the nice person he's always been. "Yeah I did actually, he seems nice doesn't he?" I fiddle with the bracelet around my wrist, the slight cold of the metal being a comforting sensation. "He does miss, did he get that for you?" He says noticing the bracelet and I nod, lifting my arm up, to show him better. "It suits you, he's got taste." Here I can agree with Matt, once more, he does have nice taste, the jewelry really fits my personality and the fact that he thought about it, from our dms, it leaves me flabbergasted.

When we get back to my place, Matt and I ride the elevator together, meeting Levis in my entryway, talking on the phone. "You could've made yourself at home, Levis, you know that" I say going over to the fridge to get the water pitcher, picking two glasses as well. "Come on!" I move my head in the direction of the study as Matt, goes to his office that he has here. "Ok what have you got for me!" I say excited.

He sits down in front of me at the desk. "So these are some scripts I thought you'd like, a movie called "The in between" for Netflix, a small part on stranger things, and some more movies. I'm waiting on something exciting though, but it's still in the 'maybe' trails so there's no script." I listen closely taking the papers he hands down to me. "Next I have here your schedule for the month and I'm waiting on Joshua's assistant to email me about when the music video will shoot and where. I also have people calling me nonstop from different publications, that want you to give statements about new music and relationships" he winces at the last part as I sigh, taking off my blazer and sinking further into the chair. "Sorry, I know, don't worry I've refused them all for now, but-"

"But at one point I'll have to speak with them, I know, but let's get them after the Oscars so I can work some more on music for the next two weeks, everything after the awards will be hectic, no matter the outcome" he nods, taking down notes. "Ok tomorrow you have the first fitting, Chanel will dress you right?" Levis asks, to make sure he's got everything down. "Yeah, I want something classic and comfy." He puts that down in his planer as well. And we go like that for the next few hours and then I go to change and get ready to start on some of those audition tapes.

When my tired body finally melts into the marshmallow mattress, I'm left torn in between all these feelings. When I close my eyes I see Austin's blue eyes, piercing into mine, I still feel the ghost of his kiss on my cheek. And then when everything becomes too much, too real, I turn around in bed and I get a whiff of Joshua's scent, the ridiculous imaginary weight of the dainty bracelet, holding my right hand down. My heart beats too fast and I barely catch my breath, it feels like I'm running, when I'm just in bed, dreaming about two people, two very different people, because one could be my calm and ease and the other could be my adrenaline and euphoria. One of them is allowed and the other is well....forbidden

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twicesserafim · 1 year

Text

Try Again.

Dammit. Pt. 3

Third Person Pov:

"im really tired today, i played badminton for 4 hours yesterday and my legs hurt like crazy, it hurts when i'm sitting too, i can't run or climb, i'm sorry eun." "it's okay, what about tomorrow?" "im not sure i can"

"oh.. well.. i wish i could help you, i miss you a lot. I hope you feel better soon, it's okay that you can't sneak over, don't feel bad, okay?" "yeah, i'm sorry though" "don't apologize, it's not your fault" "i think i'm sick too"

"yeah.. your voice sounds a little weird. Are you okay?" "my head hurts, i'm sweaty, nauseous and im coughing a lot, my nose is running too" "and you think your sick? honey, you are sick." "i feel really hot" "you are"

The two of you chuckled a bit before Eunchae continued. "i'm joking, but seriously though, you're burning up? are you okay?" "i don't really know" "did you take medicine yet?" "yeah" "i have to get to practice, i'm sorry. Feel better soon, i miss you."

"i miss you too, stay safe, eun." "you too, y/n/n."

...

Eunchae Pov:

"unnies?" They all turned their heads towards me and hummed, "what's up?" "hm?" "why did you stop me from hanging out with y/n?" "it's like a punishment for you getting home late and she's obviously not protecting you and getting you home safe"

"do you want her to run around at midnight to drop me off at the dorm?" "well.. no" "unnie, she's sick. after practice can i please go get some stuff and go see her?" "eunchae-" "please. she's really sick. She's burning up and everything."

"fine. But home before 8, we're picking you up." "but unnie-" "no buts, we're picking you up at 8" chaewon said as i sighed but agreed. I just hope we get out of practice before 7:30.

...

Third Person Pov:

Thank god they got out at 6, eunchae got a few things like snacks, drinks, a cooling gel thing to put of your forehead to help with your fever. She also got flowers but hid those in her bag.

"thanks unnies, see you later, love you!"

...

"eun?" "hey, love." "how did you-" "i asked them to let me come over because you're sick, but i have to go at 8" you sat up slightly as she pushed you back down, "it's 6:30. Don't do anything, i'm here now"

...

Eunchae laid down, wrapping her arms around you. "you'll get sick, your unnies are gonna kill me" "i don't care" "eun.." "stop stressing, i just want you to feel better. I miss you more than anything."

"fine.. but if you get sick, i'm dead. i hope you know that" "i know"

...

"eunchae, we're on our way to pick you up" eunchae sighed. "okay." she looked at your sleeping figure, your skin still so hot, you let out a few gut wrenching coughs. She rubbed your back, her eyes filled with worry.

You quickly fell asleep after coughing, still so tired from just being sick. She didn't want to wake you, because she knew if she told you she's leaving soon, you would force yourself awake to be with her.

So eunchae just stayed quiet, rubbing her thumb against your skin. Until the phone again. "we're here, eunchae" "mhm.." she hummed, your guardians were away on a buisness trip so you were alone.

It was hard for her to leave, she kissed the top of your head. "i'm sorry, darling. But i gotta go. Feel better soon, okay?" "mm.. i'll miss you eun.." "i'll miss you too" "i'll get better so i can see you again" she smiled and nodded.

"that's my girl" the two of you chuckled as she kissed your hand and left your room, putting her shoes on and looking back at the door, sighing.

...

- While eunchae was at your place -

"doesn't eunchae seem happier when she's with y/n?" "yeah, i've noticed that too" "maybe we should think about this." "yeah.. ive been thinking.."

...

"Eunchae?" Kazuha muttered as eunchae got into the car. "hm" "how's she?" "bad" "are her parents home?" "no" "where are they?" "business trip" they all looked at each other, with her short replies.

They knew she was not only worried but also upset that she had to leave. Yunjin and Kazuha nodded, turning to sakura and chaewon in the front. Sakura also nodded, chaewon sighed and nodded.

"eunchae? do you wanna spend the night?" She turned around confused, "huh?" "we're letting you try again, do you wanna stay the night?" Eunchae nodded as a smile made its way on her face. "really?"

"yeah, hurry before we change our minds." "you guys are actually the best, i love you!" "we love you too, kid."

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alblondo23 · 2 years

Note

Hi big fan of your omegaverse oscar/logan thoughrs we were literally discussing that topic with a friend yesterday and then i found your blog and we were like Ok yeah. we have the same vision this is good ...

this part specifically ... you get it ... so sorry to guys named logan hunter sargeant from fort lauderdale, florida but you WILL know emotional torment.

its a fic ive been meaning to write i kind of have it outlined but i like to think logans first heat happens super late, like F3 with Prema kind of super late. he was kind of getting used to the idea of being a beta, which. you know. is not being an alpha but its always better than being. (lowers voice) an omega. he isn't even really aware oscar's an alpha because oscar doesn't boast about it like most other alphas and in fact oscar doesn't even really talk about it or even allude to it in the first place and nobody ever comments on it and he figured that maybe oscar could be a beta too...

anyways none of it matters to logan until that fateful first heat. it's such a humiliating and painful ordeal because he genuinely doesnt want to deal with it or talk about it or do anything with it. he wants it to go away and somehow be given suppressants without having to ask for them and then never think about it again.

and of course. it happens on a sunday morning which thank the lord means he only has one race to go through but also means HE HAS ONE RACE TO GO THROUGH. and he has that moment of frenzied panic where he just googles a shitton of different terms and questions that basically boil down to "how to make your heat disappear instantly without an alpha" and every single article online is like :/ you kinda... cant do that... sorry... and hes like. (Grits teeth) ok great. yeah. superb actually.

do not be fooled. his ass will NOT be talking about it. he gets up goes through race preparation. inevitably crosses the path of oscar. and oscar immediately furrows his brows at him and goes (man that clearly knows whats up voice) Hey... whats up... and logan whos suddenly so much more attuned to scents just. wants to THROW UP like oscars scent is so. undescribably strong and intoxicating. he just kind of backs off and goes Haha just kind of ill this morning. Its ok ill survive (< thinks he is going to pass away). oscar is so obviously NOT falling for this but he just lets go of that subject immediately.

fast forward... logan performed like SHIT. he feels like everybody knows about his heat (half the grid probably does, lets be real). he flees to his room and thinks about just finding an excuse to extend his stay and lock himself up in there for a week. but of course. oscar comes knocking. he looks genuinely super concerned but also his pupils are blown wide and even though logan isnt sure oscars an alpha and he can tell oscars not trying to take advantage of his. state. it feels shitty and humiliating and he kind of wants him to GO. he doesnt want to be that to other people and especially not to other men.

of course oscar is being very nice and careful about it. when logan goes back to sulk and agonize in his bed, oscar sits on the edge right next to him, and tries to make normal small talk and enquire about how logan feels in ways that are a bit less than subtle. he asks if logan needs oscar to bring him food and water. if he wants to call a doctor. if he wants to call someone else.

and logan starts having these wild thoughts that are like. What if oscar. what if they could. would oscar actually, like. help him. it makes him SICK to think about that he has NEVER had SEX with a guy and he DOESNT WANT TO. but he just. kind of. needs it. and its made a bajillion times worse with oscar's scent. but he stays quiet. he will NOT be asking for it. and silence stretches between them. and oscars just looking at him with his stupidly kind eyes. and after a moment oscar says, super quietly, "Look, i don't know if it's big deal for you but. i can tell you're in heat and you're having a rough time, okay. you can tell me to leave right now if you want to but i just want to know if i could. do something about it. Not---not like, in a weird way, i just want to help."

logan wants to curl up in a small ball and die at that point its so. he hates that. he doesnt want help. he shouldnt need help. especially not from oscar which, mind you, he doesnt even know that well yet. but in the smallest voice ever he says "i dont even know what to do right now, this is the first---" and oscars eyes widen immediately and he goes. What. and logan is even more embarrassed. everything about it makes him want to disappear.

but then oscars hand is on the side of his face and its like. liquid relief washing all over his body. oscar's touching the spot behing his ear, his hair, his neck. logan feels like hes been set on fire and yet he feels better than hes did all day. oscar asks, "have you told anybody...? you need to tell someone. you cant. you shouldnt spend this one alone." and logan says, "no, i don't want. i don't want anybody to know, this is just so stupid."

hes like, on the verge of freaking out again. he didnt want anybody to know, but oscar knows. and its so---oscar knows, and oscar's a beta for all logan knows, which isnt much, which could even be horrifyingly wrong; and oscar could use this against him. oscar could. tell the press. and oscar is. rubbing his skin, of all damn things on earth. and it makes logan stupidly sick with desire, and he's stupidly wet, and he hates everything about being an omega, from what it is to what it means. and he hates oscar for. for. taking advantage of it? for not taking advantage of it, for not letting logan be done with it without having to say it outloud? for being gentle and kind? for accidentally making him feel so weak and vulnerable? hes going to throw up.

he swats oscar's hand away and regrets it the second it leaves his skin but he's still like "Oscar. Oscar, please, stop. Don't. You need to leave, right now." and oscar is VISIBLY mortified and hes like Sorry, have i done something wrong? Im so sorry, I just thought. Okay. Sorry, yeah, nevermind, I'll just. and he awkwardly moves to the door and he stops for a second and his breath hitches like he's going to say something but then he. leaves.

ensues a very miserable lonely couple of days for logan he thinks about calling oscar and begging him to come back on every single one of them. he eventually rides the heat out and its kind of awkward between him and oscar for a while but they dont bring it up. logan sure as hell wont. he doesnt even tell his PARENTS about it like its genuinely. worst thing on earth to him.

overall this is a fun mix of internalized homophobia toxic masculinity and internalized. omegaphobia. ??????. talk about being comfortable with your manly man male self when you have to make peace with the fact that youre into MEN (of all people on earth) and an OMEGA (of all designations on earth). he thinks of it as extremely emasculating especially as a nineteen years old guy who's trying to make his way through the ranks on his road to F1. Slaps fic You can fit so many narratives in this badboy.

Anyways. Sorry for the rambling omg!!!!!! ive been trying to spread the omega logan agenda. im so happy we're on the same page here.

Never apologize for rambling in my inbox! I adore it!! As you can tell from my other posts, I'm very happy to read and ramble myself (I actually have another a/b/o loscar ramble in my drafts rn which may get posted later)

Have you consider for this fic: True Mates? It would add a bit of spice to the suffering because Logan is very clearly never going to ever acknowledge his feelings or that he's an Omega ever. But, ever since Oscar left his room, Logan has needed him even after his heat ended, and he doesn't understand why. He doesn't understand anything about being an Omega and doesn't want to, so why would he try to understand why he is constantly yearning for Oscar.

The entire F3 grid definitely clocked what was going on with Logan, but because presenting at 19 is so unheard of, Oscar was constantly trailing him trying to help without being overbearing, and the fact that Logan looked two seconds away from death (his or someone else's), everyone just went I think that's not my problem, Oscar will fix it. Because everyone knows he's an Alpha besides Logan because Logan (let's say it together everyone) is a fool who doesn't deal with his emotions well. They just assumed that Logan had been suppressing his heats and scent until now which prompted the worrying from Oscar and the inability to deal with himself from Logan. Clearly no one saw that Logan was finally hitting the character building emotional turmoil part of his life/the fic.

Logan here is the epitome of I'm going to put all my emotions right here and then one day I'll die. Oscar meanwhile is trying to figure out why being with Logan during his heat felt the way it did. It nearly killed him to leave Logan like that, alone and trembling from the barely suppressed heat he was going through. He doesn't feel the True Mate bond yet because (checks nonexistent notes) you only feel it during your heat or rut (yeah that sounds right)

I really hope you write this fic! The emotional journey Logan will definitely have to go through to actually feel comfortable in his skin would really interesting to read!

#asks #loscar #osclo #a/b/o #omega!logan

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nyan-koii · 7 months

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HI OLI HERE AGAIN, IM HERE TO UPDATE PSPSPSPSPSPSPSPSPS!!!!

soooo after that night with michael, seb is like a bittt addicted to sex. he begged oliver to fill him up every time they can. and seb said he only do homework when oliver's cock shoved up to his pussy.

seb's mom and his stepfather had a huge argument, and she left for a couple of days (or weeks). by the time oliver has no care for his girlfriend because his attention is all in her cute son. they spent time together a lot. and seb even begged his stepfather to be his boyfriend so they can fuck anywhere.

seb's fav thing is when his stepfather wake him up with his cock inside his pussy, thrusting sloppy until the younger get overwhelmed and wake up.

until one day and it was seb's birthday, oliver took him to the grid and they met michael again. but this time, lewis is also included. lewis just turned 18 and the adults wanted him to try something for the first time..

YEAH THATS ALL FOR NOW.

ive been busy with college and work 😭 i dont have much time for our baby girl sebi. you can continue this and give me more idea to continue the convo!!!

HI OLII SO SORRY FOR THE LATE REPLYY I JUST STARTED MY NEW SEM !! I HOPE UR WELL

Omg sebby my bby look at you so cock and cum drunk from that one night, who wouldve thought this innocent clingy and kind boy is on his knees all night to suck his stepdad's cock🥰

Oliver trying to make seb lose focus by thrusting his hips up everytime seb is too concentrated with his homework ! But seb is trying his best to not get distracted otherwise he wont get any fucking that night ! Both are playing this fight where you push and pull and it looks like seb is not going to give up anytime soon but judging by the way he moans and wiggles his cute perky ass so that he can angles the cock inside of him to reach that sweet part, hes losing the battle slowly and oliver has to teach him a lesson <3

Ohh !! I wonder how seb will react to his parents fighting each other and having a huge argument. He would flinch and tremble a lot from afar as he watches his mom packs her stuffs and leaves them both. Seb is already sniffling in tears and oliver had to pick him up to soothe him, telling him that it'll be fine, shes just going out to have some rest even though oliver is already cursing at her for making his seb cries and gets so hurt. Hes gonna give him lots of kisses and hugs until seb couldnt help but to cling onto him all the time, 24/7.

Ohhhh somnophillia with bby seb is also cute too 🥺 like imagine him getting all drowsy but still wanting to have something inside of him, his stepdad's cock is the best solution. He also likes to suck on oliver's fingers whenever hes experiencing nightmares and by the time he wakes up the next morning, oliver is already set on kissing his necks and leaving marks on it as he grabs seb's legs and pushes it close to his chest for a better angle to fuck the boy. Good morning sebb ☺ 🌸 nasty little slut, wanting your stepdad to fuck you anywhere and use you like a toy. Its their favourite thing to do, especially with the thrill of it.

And ouuu seb must be so happy to see michael again ! Hes already running and hugging the man who is also equally happy to see him but whats this?! Lewis is there 😳???? The sudden change of plot happens? Seb doesnt know about this but judging by how michael and oliver are already sitting comfortably on the chairs, seb is getting the signals especially when lewis looks at him with eyes full of lust and need that it made the boy squirm in his place. Theyre not that far apart from each other, seb can feel lewis' presence and when he finally reaches out to grab seb by his cheeks, the boy has become so putty and needy that lewis had to hold him as to not let him fall to the ground.

I can imagine lewis taking it slow with seb because well hes obviously awkward too ! What more with two adults watching but when he finally gets inside seb who is trembling and clenching lewis' shirt for more, hes a gone case and his mind is set to fuck seb until the two adults that are watching tells him to stop out of jealousy. Their prides are strong bus is it strong enough to surpass the need of wanting to fuck seb? We'll see about that 😏

And omg yes 😭 i'll be getting busier now that new sem has already started for me so im gonna be late too ! Please feel free to just send in asks in my inbox and i'll be sure to get back to youu <3 hope to see more from the convo olii

#oli tells #oli anon #hurmmm #i wonder what made michael and oli invite lewis #like ofc they wanted to show the adult world to him but like #why him?? specifically?#is it because they saw how lewis has been eyeing him?#or is it because lewis is a new wdc and they want to celebrate him for that?#either way as long as sebs getting fcked we dont mind it at all

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lovelylovelyartist · 1 year

Text

This will come out a little rambly, so I'm sorry ahead of time, but I had some thoughts and I just want to get it out.

I was 13 when I first started adhd drugs. At that time I was a depressed kid, who didn't know where she belonged or why she was so awkward and weird. She didn't know about bisexuality, and it'd be almost 10 years until she met other people that didn't feel like a guy or a girl, and that she was they, not she. She also didn't know that OTHER people had trouble keeping schedules, doing their homework, staying still in classes, doing chores at home, breaking focus when something really had her attention. She'd been told by teachers and parents most of her life that it was a moral failing, that "I forgot isn't an excuse, because if you really cared about it you'd remember." (if you ever want to see an adult Max cry, here's how).

That depressed kid tried Riddalin.

And Hated it. With every fiber of their being.

It made me feel slowed down. It made me feel like a muted version of myself. It made me feel like I could be shuffled to the back of the classroom, and I'd be a good little kid that can put up and shut up now. It made me feel less in general. I was lucky enough to have a mom that let me drop it, despite her saying in retrospect that I was doing well in school and at home.

Fast forward about 10 years. I'm in my early twenties. I've realized a lot of things about myself, and have a better picture of who i want to be. I've started seeing a psychologist, who pegs me for ADHD the second I've walked in (20 minutes late, crying because I'm so ashamed, fidgeting up a storm). Over the next couple months we go through rigmarole getting a proper diagnosis, preparing a case file, etc, so that I might try medication again. I'm leery, because of last time, but I do.

And pretty much the first time I take it, it feels like putting on clean glasses after having blurry vision for my whole life.

It's the same medication, more or less. It's on a person 10 years older, who now actually WANTS to exist (Most of the time), and whose symptoms and presentation has changed so they WANT the chatter and unending racing thoughts to calm the hell down, and whose gone through hormonal and mental changes that 13 year old Max hadn't yet. But this time, something feels different.

There's more to this story, about how fucking awful I felt and how I had the question of "How the hell did I LIVE like this before?!" when I could no longer get medication due to supply order issues, but this feels too long as it is. Long story short, doc changed medications around so we have a temporary solution while the supply chain evens out, and now that I have medication again, it's the same goddamn feeling. I feel like I'm driving in the drivers seat, not trying to drive from the back seat. I can do stuff I want to do again. I don't feel like I'm going to crash my car.

What Ive taken forever to actually say is not everything will work for you at every point in your life. Bodies change. Brains change. Hormones change. Sometimes what didn't work for you in the past might work for you now that youre in a different place and time and body. Sometimes, it's not a bad thing to try something again.

(Barring the stuff that yknow, actually almost killed you. don't be willing to try that again maybe)

#actually adhd #actually autistic #adhd support #adhd struggles #rambling #life story #Sorry that this came out so rambling.#I'd just reblogged that other adhd post and wanted to add something like this but it didn't feel appropriate #the artist has spoken

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ciaossu-imagines · 9 months

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Im... Sorry for asking but... Ive had a rough time lately (dad in hospital, posting drama, fanfic troubles,etc.)

And i just wanted to ask if you could do how eric (K-Project) and Hayato (KHR) would try to comfort or cheer up a frind/significant other that is having a really hard time that they can not do anything about.

Please don't be sorry for asking! I'm so, so sorry to hear you've been having a tough time lately and if I can help at all with these headcanons, I consider it a privilege to be able to do so. I hope things get better for you soon!

Eric

Okay, but while I can definitely see Eric not being at all happy about you being stressed out, I don't think he'd get as worked up about it as say, Hayato. Eric's a little bit more accepting of the fact that there are things out there that he just can't fix. He has a little bit of an easier job accepting his limitations, especially since he was so often forced to face the limits of what he could do and what he could control growing up, and that helps him in this situation.

Plain out and out, Eric logically realizes that he can do jack shit about all your troubles. None of them are things he can fix with violence, which is his usual go-to to fix issues. He can't just stab someone and make you happy…come to think of it, he doesn't recall there ever being a time, with you, where he could just stab someone and solve any of your issues and make you happy, so he really should stop defaulting to that solution. Is he actually going to stop making that his go-to, though? No.

I do think Eric does sort of associate gift-giving and doing stuff for people with helping though. That's what makes people happy, right? It's just how his mind works, so I can see him buying you gifts, hoping to put a smile on your face. He stops and gets your favourite take out or snack every time he's out and about. Like, by the end of day two or three of being sad, you are almost drowning in gifts and food because it's all Eric can think of to make you smile.

He'll count each smile he gets out of you as a victory but honestly, the longer you remain stressed, the more on edge he gets and the more he beats himself up, in his head only though, trying his best not to let you realize it, that he can't fix the issues.

He's very likely, when it comes to the fanfic issues and the posting drama, to really not take those as seriously. He'll plain out tell you to fuck other people and their opinions, that other people can fuck off, that fics can wait or bad reviews are bullshit. Eric is very much of the opinion that you rock, you're amazing, and anyone who pisses you off or makes you upset or sad for even a second - they're pieces of shit to him and not even worth the time you're allowing them in your head and he's going to clearly communicate that to you, probably in the crassest possible language he can.

It's going to be your father that gets to Eric the most. He's going to think of that as the biggest issue and though he can't solve it, he's definitely encouraging you to spend as much time with your father as you possibly can. Eric knows he'll never get another second with his parents in this lifetime again, and he knows how hard that knowledge and reality is. He's always asking if you want him to take you over to the hospital, to go visit your father with you, to wait for you while you do.

In the end, Eric's just going to do his best and while he knows he can't fix it for you, he's just content to make you smile or give you a positive experience through the day.

Gokudera

Now, as hinted at during the start of Eric's headcanons, this isn't a situation that Gokudera handles really well. Gokudera is, by his very nature, a 'fixer'. He sees people he loves and cares about facing problems or tough situations and every instinct he has is centered around getting rid of those situations or fixing those problems for them. It's not only just his base nature but a lot more complicated - helping and fixing things for people is a huge part of how he shows his love and care to people, because he's not good at verbally or physically expressing it, but it's also part of what helps Gokudera feel needed, wanted, valuable, and of use to those he cares about and that being needed and of use is essential to his mental wellness, even though it is a very mentally unhealthy way to view things.

Unfortunately, every single thing troubling you cannot just be easily fixed. Some of them can't be fixed at all, like your father's health. Gokudera could show up at the hospital, threaten the doctor's and nurse's into ensuring your father got only the best of care (and definitely wanted to and might have done so) but it doesn't fix your father's actual health problems or take those away. Despite being brilliant, Gokudera isn't a doctor and can't miraculously heal your father. He can't control what people say on the internet, he can't control if there's issues with your fic or if you experience writer's block. And all of that makes him so incredibly pissed off because it makes him feel like he's failing you, like he's worthless.

And as much as I would like to say that Gokudera handles that amazingly, that he knows how he's feeling is on him, that those are his own issues to struggle with and not something you had any part of, that he doesn't even remotely take it out on you, I think pretty strongly that I would be lying by doing so.

Gokudera struggles with his emotions. He feels things really deeply and intensely and he can't always communicate or even understand his own emotions and I do think the emotional stress that comes with that not being able to fix it all for you might sometimes come out in him being snippy or impatient with you. He doesn't mean to be. He doesn't want to be. It's just that sometimes he can't stop himself from doing it because he is feeling everything so intensely and struggles to regulate that rather awful and much too quick temper of his.

He knows he can't do anything about your father and the situation there is so serious that he might actually try to avoid it a little. Unless you bring it up, he doesn't mention it but he will listen to you whenever you need to talk about it. He makes sure flowers and whatever else will bring comfort to your father are brought to his hospital room regularly, and he would go visit your father with you if he knew it would comfort you.

But overall, I do think it's the smaller things he allows his mind to focus on. Where they are issues related to hobbies you have, he might actually pressure you to maybe take a break from, or even give up, those hobbies. He reminds you that hobbies are supposed to make you happy, not stress you out, and if things are making you upset, you can just stop doing them or putting any of your time towards them. It's probably where most of his grumpiness and snippiness would come from, if you didn't do so because you know, in the long run, even with the stressful moments, these are things you love, because Gokudera would see that as you ignoring the best advice he could give you.

#replies #comfort headcanons #headcanons #k project #project k #katekyo hitman reborn #khr #eric surt #eric solt #gokudera hayato

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peachsayshi · 10 months

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hi peach ♥️ i’m so sorry to hear about the toxic comments from men in ur family - men in general can really suck sometimes but it hurts a lot when it’s can be ur own fam too :// im from an immigrant family so i know how tough it can be to deal with this type of situation. i know it’s easy to say but i really do hope that it gets better!! please take care of urself and always remember that there’s always good people out there :) sending u all my love & support :D

also what’re ur thoughts on the latest jjk ep?! personally ive been having way too much fun watching all of the fights that have been animated this season - but im also simultaneously sad as hell over the despair that is the shibuya incident 😭

- 🍃

hello, my pretty 🍃!

I'm so sorry it took me forever to respond to this message, I have truly been all over the place lately >.< first off, thank you so much for reaching out with your sweet message of support! it does mean a lot and I really appreciate you checking in!

I've been feeling okay since that day, just trying to work through one thing at a time! I'm sending all my love back

ahhh, the shibuya arc is so good and it truly has left my heart broken once again. nanami's scene was bittersweet in every sense of the word. I wept! and the last episode felt like a punch to the gut.

I loved reading this arc in the manga but it was equally the most painful arc to get through LOL it leaves me distressed!

#> secret mail 💌#> 🍃.nonnie 💌

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 2 years

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Tw mentions of suicide, self harm, eating disorders, csa, not detailed and all brief, but mentioned all the same. This ended up longer than anticipated and I'm sorry for that.

Nickname: oak

Lately I've been wondering if I...I don't expect too much out of life. Specifically Ive been trying to unravel my childhood and teen years lately. A lot of things I know weren't okay. As much as I tell myself I deserved it and blame myself sometimes, logically I know some stuff just was not right, but some other things Im confused about. I guess I just don't know what...what is the baseline parents and parental figures should meet if they're able to?

Sorry for rambling. Anyway, lately, I've been thinking that other things my parents might have handled my health poorly, especially my mental health. For the most part they took care of my physical health. At the very least I got taken to the doctor when sick, though I guess leading into the rest I should mention that when I got an infection in...in a sensitive place as a kid after being assaulted, my mom did take me to the doctor, but she never actually let him talk to or examine me. She said that since she was a nurse she knew what it was and what medicine I needed, and that it was just from soap so he could just skip to a prescription. Maybe she was trying to protect me, or she actually believed it, but sometimes I wonder whether or not I would have talked about what had happened if given the chance. Probably not so maybe she was right, and if I'd mentioned the things dad had done too that might have led to a messy divorce, so maybe she was just trying to keep the family together. I don't know. Anyway after that I started binge eating and periodically hurting myself around age five, had angry outbursts in class (one of which was bad enough police got involved) and periodically stopped participating at all in school, basically from kindergarten onward to the end of school. At one point in sixth grade I neglected even basic hygiene, and like everything else my parents either didn't notice or didn't say anything until the school sent me home, and even then they didn't say much or ask if I was okay. Looking back all of this seems like it was probably a cry for help, but I don't know. If it was, the closest thing I got to it was being taken to a dietician once when I started starving myself in fifth grade. I'm glad that happened, but looking back I wonder if...I guess if they should have taken that more seriously. I outright told my mom that I just wanted to be smaller so I wouldn't be made fun of and want to die anymore, and...maybe I'm wrong but sometimes I think that, and everything else, warranted some psychological help, instead of just being given a weight loss plan and losing a lot of weight really fast anyway. Then again, I did start at an unhealthy weight so maybe not?

I guess on the mental health front the last thing I'm wondering about is when a classmate found out I was suicidal in high school. He took my note to the counselor, and my dad was notified but just...never talked about it? He had a girlfriend at the time who had occasionally pushed me into doorframes and thrown things at me, but never gotten full on abusive, though she did rant about how I'd be a better person if dad had hit me more than twice in my life, and the day after the whole suicide note thing she went on about how I was just trying to manipulate them both and shouldn't be taken seriously. Sometimes I get really mad that no one ever even tried to get me help during that time, but maybe the girlfriend was right? I don't know. I don't think I was trying to manipulate anyone. I did also pass out for no apparent reason around that time and my dad didn't talk about that either, even though sometimes I think that should have been alarming too? I don't know.

I guess the last thing I had questions about happened when I was twelve. I met this guy who was I think nineteen, not sure exactly but he was definitely an adult. He said I was mature and cool though and started spending a lot of time with me. At first we just talked about books but eventually he brought up wanting to play games online with me, even after I told him I didn't have internet and that was against the library's rules for computer use. He'd still talk about it, and about how all the best girls he knew sent him nudes and had sexual conversations with him online and he thought it would be great if I did too. It felt weird, but never weird enough for me to stop talking to him, but the real odd thing was that my dad was there for some of these conversations. I'm not sure but sometimes I think he should have at least warned me to be careful with this guy. I don't know. I never actually did anything with him but I did take some nude pictures and videos that I thought I'd show him, only for him to abruptly leave town. For whatever reason I kept the videos and pictures though, and multiple times when I had left either my laptop or phone unattended, with only my dad home, I'd come back to find those were the most recently accessed files. I never specifically asked if he'd looked at them but I can't think of any other explanation, especially since it happened more than once, which would mean he didn't just find thst stuff while snooping but actively looked for it. That seems weird in hindsight, just like the fact that he'd watch me shower sometimes since our bathroom didn't have a door and he said we couldn't afford to get one, but I don't know maybe that was normal or at least not that bad?

For the longest time I either didn't think about any of this, or just shrugged it off as a result of us growing up poor. After all, they couldn't repair holes in the floors or walls or broken windows or remove mold, so we had to be poor. It was the only thing that made sense, but after being put in charge of finances after dad ended up in the hospital, I found out that had never been true. We weren't rich, sure, but it turned out they made a lot more money than I'd thought, definitely enough to fix the house up instead of constantly telling me I'd be taken away if anyone saw what it looked like (not true, since paramedics came in once and nothing happened after), and that my health insurance would have covered therapy.

Anyway, this whole long ramble ends with me wondering if I'm right to sometimes think my parents really dropped the ball sometimes, or if I'm entitled and expected too much from them. I don't know. I'm sorry, it seems stupid, but I don't know what is and isn't okay when it comes to family. If I did expect too much, then what is normal? If I am entitled, what do I do about that?

Hi Oak,

I'm sorry to hear about everything you went through.

A lot of what you described with your parents seems neglectful and reckless. Your needs should've been more of a priority. You did not deserve to suffer in the various ways that you did.

I just want to call your attention to how you said your dad's girlfriend was never "full-on abusive" and yet she pushed you into doorframes, threw things at you, and said you should've been hit more. That's still abusive. I guess I'm not entirely sure what you mean by full-on abusive. Abuse is abuse, you know?

I also want to clear the air by saying that his girlfriend is in the wrong, 100%. It's insensitive and dangerous to assume that a suicide threat is nothing serious. As someone who is QPR-certified (suicide prevention), every suicide threat should be taken in full seriousness. It's understandable to be mad that nobody helped you during that time. You didn't deserve to be treated that way.

It sounds like the 19 year old groomed you and solicited CSEM from you. I have to say that I'm not only disgusted by the actions of that 19 year old but also your father. What your dad did is not only a violation of your privacy but the fact he didn't seem concerned is concerning in itself. It's also very creepy and another violation of privacy for him to watch you shower. That's not normal at all, and especially if he knew there wasn't a door, he should've made sure not to look.

I think it's normal to not think much of our childhood traumas, especially until much later. I only just started uncovering and digesting my childhood trauma (12 and earlier) and I'm 22.

You didn't expect too much from your parents, in fact you expected the bare minimum and they couldn't even meet that. Please don't be sorry, none of this is stupid. You've endured a lot of different potentially traumatic things and I think it's important to acknowledge that.

It can be hard to gauge what is normal when it comes to your family. I'm also encountering that as I'm working through my earlier experiences. You don't really have another family of your own to compare these experiences to, so it can be hard to know what's okay and what isn't. But please know that it is not okay to violate your privacy in any way, whether that's being a peeping tom or going through your devices. It's not okay to ignore cries for help, including suicide threats. It's not okay to physically or emotionally abuse you. It's not okay to be medically neglected.

It's important for you to find healing in a way that works for you. If you aren't already in therapy, there are many therapies out there that could help you work through these experiences and how they may have shaped the way you view yourself and your life.

I hope I could help. Please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#mod bun #trauma talks #trauma details #oak #tw abuse #tw child abuse #tw emotional abuse #tw sa #tw csa

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