#sorry this turned into a weird tag rant

[messiahzzz]

while it’s perfectly fine to have your own headcanons that are non-canon compliant — by all means, go wild. recognizing pieces of yourselves in fictional characters can be a very healing and validating experience. this is nonetheless a casual, well-intentioned reminder that gale, in fact, does not have bpd.

bpd is a pervasive pattern of instability affecting interpersonal relationships, self-image, and mood. the disorder is marked by impulsivity beginning in early adulthood and is present in a variety of contexts. a diagnosis requires at least 5 of the following 9 criteria to be met:

Fear of abandonment

Unstable or changing relationships

Unstable self-image; struggles with identity or sense of self

Impulsive or self-damaging behaviors (e.g., excessive spending, unsafe sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating).

Suicidal behavior or self-injury

Varied or random mood swings

Constant feelings of worthlessness or sadness

Problems with anger, including frequent loss of temper or physical fights

Stress-related paranoia or loss of contact with reality

source: [x]

i highlighted the criteria that do apply to gale in one way or another in a pretty purple.

i personally believe that it’s rather harmful to equate his relationship with mystra with her being “his fp”. she is a deity, his goddess, and the source of his powers, who is in in full control of the magic he wields.

gale: mystra commands all magic. salvation, if such a thing exists, is hers to bestow or withhold.

gale has been effectively groomed and conditioned to serve and revere her at every turn since early childhood. imo this comparison really undermines a lot of crucial points in gale’s story that deal with his overall trauma and abuse. after all, you wouldn’t call shar sh*dowhe*rt’s fp either.

gale doesn’t revile mystra, nor does he commit benevolent deeds solely motivated by the secret hope that she will somehow notice and take him back. when you meet gale in the game he has already fully come to terms with the fact that he has been abandoned by mystra with no hope of reconciliation whatsoever. he also had some very fitting lines in ea regarding this topic that i'm sad haven't been repurposed in the full release in some way.

gale: [the tadpoles] don't know that some things are impossible. they don't know that... they don't know. player: what is impossible about what you're being shown? gale: forgiveness. gale: it is mystra i see. and yet it cannot be her. there was a time when i would have believed - but no longer. gale: suffice it to say she would not bestow upon me the favors promised in these dreams. that is how i know they are delusions.

he has already reached the stage of acceptance. moreover, gale only starts to realize that mystra might have been in the wrong for requesting his death once the tadpole squad & tav speak some sense into him. and even then he doesn’t ever show that his emotions regarding mystra are anywhere along those lines. he is instead rightfully angered that she only saw value in his death, after he had been worshipping her loyally for years.

gale: i worshipped mystra loyally for years, and in that time she granted me the barest sliver of the power i was ready to wield. gale: even with the fate of the world at stake, she had little more to offer me than the means of blowing myself up at a more convenient time. she's done nothing to help us.

gale: you abandoned me in my hour of greatest need. i had no obligation to help you in yours. gale: because you had no right to ask that of me. you cast me out, remember?

gale doesn’t display rapid changes in mood either. he is a character who is generally very composed and has been known to remain nonchalant even in the face of utter horror. tim downie himself even commented on this once. source: [x]

the only instance i can think of is his sudden switch from resigned-to-death to utter-eye-sparkling-enthusiasm once he spots the crown of karsus. apart from crucial story reasons that i won’t touch upon in this post, i’d also like to add that it’s a rather common phenomenon for people who have just barely survived a suicide attempt to suddenly be filled with zeal and unbridled energy. he doesn't display impulsivity without thorough consideration when it comes to its acquisition either. he considers this a golden opportunity and is positively enthusiastic and elated that this might prove an alternative to him ending up in a cloud of netherese smoke. nonetheless, he knows what he is doing. evident in him actually succeeding in ascending in one of his endings.

gale: this is no passing whim, trust me. if i can obtain that crown, it will affect us all. it is not a decision i'll take lightly. gale: it's our future that i'm thinking of - we can't rely on anyone else to do it for us. gale: for now - we've learned all we can.

neither are his relationships that we do know of (namely elminster, tara, and morena) frequently changing. they are marked by years of mutual respect, care, and consistency. there is nothing unstable about them. while it's important to note that his relationship with tav is still in its honeymoon stages during the main game, there is no inclination of any push-and-pull dynamic between them whatsoever.

gale isn’t preoccupied with keeping up some sort of benevolent act in order to win (back) affection — he genuinely IS a good person and he proves this at every turn. moreover, to have a tressym become your familiar you must be of Good alignment.

(taken from tumblr user galedekarios's post.)

there is never a moment where his ideals or alignment suddenly change. in fact, i’d argue that he and wyll are most consistent in this regard when compared to the rest of the companions. gale makes his moral standpoint very clear from the beginning on and also explicitly states that he believes that in order to survive this entire ordeal it would be selfish of him if he wouldn’t be willing to compromise on his morals. this isn’t a sudden bout of ✨muahahaha wizard hubris✨ that he barely contained to hold in before, this is yet another act of selflessness — it is what he’s willing to do for the group and subsequently, the welfare of faerun.

player: i love unsavoury things. don't feel guilty on my account. gale: that's good to know. although i should say i do what i do out of a sense of utility and pragmatism, not a love of the unsavoury. gale: we're up against the greatest threat faerun has ever faced. i don't mind getting my hands dirty if it gives us a better chance of surviving. gale: whatever advantage i can gain for us. i will. and i refuse to feel guilty for it, no matter how much mystra's chidings might echo in my skull.

this is him, once again trying to be useful in whatever way he can. to give them an advantage, a slither of hope against seemingly impossible odds, so they might make it out of this in one piece. gale wouldn’t approve of those actions under normal circumstances, but their predicament is as far from any definition of “normal” as it can get.

gale is no fool, he realizes this is essentially about survival. he knows that he has no option left other than to tolerate, which is why he can be convinced to not immediately depart tav’s company even if they choose to commit atrocities. this is no character flaw of his or him displaying a previously dormant openness for cruelty, this is about recognizing the necessity.

player: you don't stand a chance alone. you're free to go. i dare you. gale: gods damn you - you're right. few things are more powerful than the will to live.

gale: i thought the orb to be the greatest of my sins, but i see now that there are darker depths to which i might yet sink. you may be content to sink into that abyss, but i assure you - i am not.

gale doesn’t lead a split existence. he has a very strong sense of identity. he knows what he wants, what he doesn’t want and he isn’t shy in expressing his boundaries either. which he has especially shown when it comes to his relationship with tav. i originally had intended to touch upon this in another post entirely but: i firmly believe his entire Gale of Waterdeep™ persona is more of a performance than him struggling to find a sense of identity and trying them on for size. it is an intentional decision to separate gale dekarios from the great wizard of waterdeep, to create distance and make sure his family name remains untarnished in case things should ever go sideways.

gale: i agree. and on the plus side, if i get myself into any truly cataclysmic straits during the remainder of our journey, my family name will go untarnished.

there is also a deep-rooted feeling of unworthiness and his firm belief that love and praise are conditional resources that he will only be granted through his talents alone, naturally. presenting himself as gale dekarios, the man, would mean highlighting his shortcomings and very human flaws, while distracting from the aspects of himself that are deemed praiseworthy, the ones that actually matter: his magical prowess.

i personally believe that part of the beauty of gale’s story is him realizing just how “little” it takes for him to be truly content. he gets his happy ending, with someone at his side who truly sees him, understands him and unabashedly commits to him. they worship and adore him in return — and it is well deserved. he isn’t reduced to be constantly and restlessly searching for some unattainable ideal to fill the gaping void within himself. he doesn’t secretly thirst for more power still or believes that in being with tav he is settling for something. instead, he is finally happy to just be. be and be accepted. teaching a class of unruly wizards and coming home to his spouse each day already fulfills him.

gale: that's how i feel with you - content. it's a rather unfamiliar feeling, i must say. not something gale of waterdeep ever craved.

even if he doesn’t pursue a romance with tav, he reaches a realization of “oh, it appears i am not irredeemably flawed and only able to reach true redemption through my own death. what i needed was actually with me all along.” throughout their journey and through his friend's support. i think that’s a very powerful and comforting message. he is very well capable of finding peace within himself.

devnotes: his default state is that he returned to waterdeep and became a professor of illusory magic at his former school, blackstaff academy. general vibe here is that this is a gale who's found peace with himself - he's a great teacher, one his students are mostly in awe of.

to repeat myself: sharing your headcanons is all in good fun, nor should you ever be discouraged from doing so. this is your personal tumblr experience, after all. but i personally think we should be mindful of unintentionally perpetuating negative stereotypes, such as narcissism being a general indicator or being deemed a classic depiction of bpd. i think we can all agree that the continuous longing for acceptance, connection, praise, and approval is something we all have in common deep down, regardless of whatever disorder we may have. [insert victoria justice meme here]

gale may be many things to many people, but he is no entitled narcissist.

[caruliaa]

just bc im a lesbian doesnt mean tht i wont at times become deeply entranced with the beauty of male actor or character. it just means i wld rather be locked in a room with a man with a knife than do anything romantic or sexual with one

[rapha-reads]

No, seriously, what the FUCK is going on with this summer. Why is everything so weird and happening all at once.

I need it all to stop because I don't know how much longer I can deal with the weirdness.

Personal rant below, to avoid spamming your dash.

My mother cheats with a guy 32 years younger than her. Alright. She wants a divorce from my father and starts spewing shit about him. Um, okay. My father goes into depression, rage, pain, stability, rince and repeat. Sure, no problem, I know his character and I understand what's going on with him right now. My own anger, pain and incomprehension can take the backseat.

My father's water well suddenly stops working for 3 weeks, impossible to water the trees in the middle of a summer from hell. Problem, but after weeks of checking everything, wasting money on pieces of the pump and ferrying around workers, we manage to find that the problem is neither the pump nor the water levels, but the pipe that was cracked on like 5cm and it only needed to be cut. 3 weeks and thousands of dirhams wasted for nothing. Really annoying.

Weird lights in the sky, sudden gusts of wind carrying around sand and dust, heat, no rain, dry storms... Yeah. Eerie on the good days, downright creepy scary on the bad days.

The dog next house that we go give water every couple of days to avoid seeing him die of neglect before our eyes, climbing the wall and improvising a machinery to get him water. Weird, but okay. The owner of the dog actually made an appearance, my father scolded him in his very polite but firm way, told him that I was giving the dog water and to leave the rope we se to get the jerrycan, the owner agreed (he's a distant cousin of my father, welcome to Moroccan countryside, family tree more like family maze).

But now, half an hour ago, my dad is chilling in the garden talking with one of his cousins, my sister is inside reading, I'm on the veranda reading, all lights are turned off, when suddenly there's a guy entering the backyard where we have a peach tree with a couple of green peaches and the windows of our bedrooms. He just. Jumped down a wall, stole a peach, run across the backyard in front of my sister's room where she was about to get changed, climbed the back stairs and jumped over another wall.

... WHAT.

And then my father apparently saw him from the garden, and barefoot went running after him, and apparently ran around the entire village after him, met one of his cousins and his nephew, came back home without catching the guy (not even a guy, a teenager, 15-16yo). Sister and I are just about giving up on trying to understand the weirdness of the entire summer, deciding on going to give water to the dog before going to bed. I'm reaching the top of the wall when suddenly my uncle, his wife, his brother-in-law, my two cousins, my father's cousin that was there at the beginning all arrive. Oh, I forgot to mention, it's HALF PAST MIDNIGHT.

I'm. I'm fucking giving up, how in the name of SANITY am I supposed to write a bloody master's thesis in these circumstances??? I forgot to mention my sister's heart problems, the people building houses all around my dad's field and the weird encounters we have with these foreigners who already know of our reputation (did I mention that my father is kinda famous/infamous in the region because he doesn't bow down to the corrupted authorities like everyone else... That brings troubles too), the countless taxi trips to get to the town to by groceries and counting every coin because we have neither car nor money, both belonging to my mother, my mother moving houses, my mother in general...

I AM DONE. (they say, knowing full well they can't actually be excused from the narrative because their most important people need them)

[starlightkun]

hi!!!!! i saw the trailer for pupsick and when it released i was scrolling thru the regular nct fics tags (nct x reader etc) and it wasn’t showing up so i thought it was delayed D: found ur account again though!!! and i’m planning on reading it later tonight hehe

this might not be smt u care abt at all but i think the reason why pupsick wasn’t showing up in the tags is bc only the first three (i think???) tags on a post actually show up when looking through the hashtags which i think it’s silly but might also explain why i couldn’t find the fic initially .. if u don’t really care abt tags and stuff u can ignore this sjdjskdhjd i just had thoughts that had been thought and wanted to just say it somewhere

ok bye and i cannot wait to read pupsick <3

i think it's either like the first 3 or 5 tags maybe? i keep hearing different numbers i cant keep up anymore it feels like 😭 and i do care abt tags! i want more ppl to find my fics but like also tumblr will hide ur posts for the dumbest reasons (links too sometimes, which like, i need to link for navigation reasons?? my masterlist, etc.)

and also i kind of feel so disconnected from how readers find fics now? like idk how yall find fics, like which tags you actually look in?? not to age(?) myself but back in my heyday of reading fic everything (reader insert or slash fic, which omg is also old fandom lingo i feel like) was called an "imagine" so u would always go look in the "xyz imagine" tag for ur fill but im starting to figure out that now we're not using that anymore so like 😭😭😭 i feel old

[foggysirens]

impulse buying a way too expensive star wars sweater in 30° heat haha anyways how y’all doing

[evermoresqueiswriting]

the one where clarisse learns about her love language

"Late in the night, the city's asleep Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep Change my priorities The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury" - King Of My Heart, Taylor Swift

summary: after getting hurt during one game of capture de flag, clarisse gets taken care of by you and after this, clarisse went from never being at the infirmary to being there almost every day with a new injury. weird for an ares kid to get this easily injured, but you didn't mind

pairing: clarisse la rue x apollo!reader

word count: 6.2k i suddenly lost the ability to write shorter fics bruh

tags: fluff, clarisse fell first and harder

masterlist // ask box

No one at camp had a job at camp per say. Hephaestus kids were the ones forging the weapons campers used, and Demeter kids sometimes cooked dinner. And some Apollo kids – including yourself – were the designated healers at camp. So, it wasn’t your job, per say, to stay at the infirmary all day long, but you were. 

You enjoyed the calm and serenity of that place. The sun always shined through the windows, and you could sunbathe all day long, while listening to your favourite songs or painting. Most of the time it was quiet, except when Will followed you there. He was a rather loud kid, he loved to ask questions and learn about everything you did. 

“Shouldn’t you be playing with other kids your age instead of trying to work here?” 

“Shouldn’t you be socialising with kids your age instead of working for free?” Will replied in the same tone. 

“Rude!” 

“I learned from the best,” he gave you a pat on the shoulder. 

“I regret it. All the time,” you turned away. “If you’re gonna stay here, at least help me clean this place.”

The first time Will tried to help you clean this place, it was a disaster. Before you ran the infirmary, it wasn’t organised, everything was just laying around. Then you came in, and cleaned up the place, and organised it how you liked it. Will didn’t know that, so he just cleaned up like he thought was fine. It wasn’t. And you had lectured him about never – ever – touching anything again without you being there. 

“Tomorrow’s Capture the Flag,” Will started. “They put really far from the flag and the fight, again,” he frowned. 

“Oh. I’m sorry.”

“It always happens when the Ares cabin is teaming up with us. They’re always leading the fight.”

“Well they are good,” you shrugged. “But you know you can talk to Lee about this, he’s our head counsellor and he could talk to Clarisse.”

He shook his head. 

“Clarisse is kinda scary,” Will admitted. 

“Did I never tell you to never judge a book by its cover,” you put your hands on your hips, “but in that case you’re right. Clarisse does scare me a little bit too. And I’m kinda glad she decided to put me far away from her this time.”

Will rolled his eyes, clearly still upset. 

“Okay, I can see how this isn’t great,” you sighed. “If for the next one, we’re still teaming up with the Ares cabin, I’ll talk to Lee and Clarisse alright?”

He nodded. Hopefully, you weren’t going to team up with the Ares cabin anytime soon. You never talked to Clarisse, but you knew who she was. Everyone knew her. Ares daughter, head counsellor and incredibly scary. She was an amazing fighter, and no one wanted to be at the other end of her spear. 

“I’m just saying,” you ranted to Lee at dinner, “Will is a kid and it sucks that you decided to exclude him.”

“Who’s ‘you’,” he inquired. “Clarisse was the brain behind everything. She’s the strategist.”

“And what are you? A plant? You were there when the strategy was being made,” you argued.

“But Will never said anything to me. It’s always been this way.”

“Well he told me, and I’m telling you. Please pass along this information if we ever get teamed up with the Ares cabin again,” you smiled.

“Sure,” Lee nodded. “You’re the boss.”

“‘m not,” you mumbled and kept on eating. 

Lee was the Apollo cabin’s head counsellor. But really, you were his co-head counsellor. You have been at camp for a long time now, since the age of ten and you have always been a year-rounder at camp. But when the head counsellor spot freed up, you vouched for Lee. He wanted that position, he deserved it, and you agreed. But he always came for advice and your opinion. 

Capture the Flag day finally arrived, and you were getting ready, putting your armour on. You picked your bow and slid it on your shoulder, before leaving your cabin. You joined your team – the red one – and everyone was there already. Clarisse stood tall and proud at the front, planting her spear next to her. 

“Prisoners may be disarmed, but may not be bound or gagged,” Chiron announced – like every single time. “Killing or maiming is not allowed.”

“Much to my regret,” Dionysus mumbled. “So yeah, let the game begin or whatever.”

Clarisse turned around, waved her hand around and people were running to their assigned position. You were on flag duty. On top of the hill that had a perfect view of your flag. If you saw anyone from the opposite side you'd shoot explosive arrows to blind and confuse them for a second, so your team had time to disarm them before they could reach your flag. 

You looked around, and spotted Michael and Lee. Chatting, and looking around. Moving on. Ares' kids were fighting some kids from the Hephaestus cabin. Logic. And then you spotted Clarisse. Walking alone through the forest. Probably to the other side where the blue flag was. 

But then you also spotted a group of three Athena kids – blue team – following her closely. Clarisse wasn’t stupid, she probably knew about them following her. 

“What are you watching?” someone asked, startling you. 

“Will! What are you doing here?”

“There wasn’t anyone around the borders, so I came to help you. So what are you staring at?”

“Nothing,” you shrugged, going back to monitor your flag. 

Will stared at you, huffed and went to look at what you were looking at. 

“y/n?,” Will called for you. 

“What?” you didn’t look at him.

“y/n!”

“What?” you gave him a quick glance. 

“Something’s wrong.”

That caught your attention. You looked back at where Clarisse was. She seemed fine. The three Athena kids were no longer there though. 

“What?”

“Don’t you see the trap?”

“What trap?” you frowned, looking more closely at where she stood. 

It was a particularly sunny day. If your dad wasn’t Apollo, you’d be blinded by the sun rays. But your dad was Apollo, so you were doing great. And there it was. The trap. It was so bright, it was hard to spot it. And the Athena kids knew that. So when Clarisse walked over it, it was too late and something came flying toward her. 

“What the hell?” you cursed before running down the hill. “Stay here,” you warned Will. 

Before you left, you gave a quick glance back, and Clarisse was down, surely unconscious. 

“Fuck.”

You sprinted towards where she was when you heard the emergency horn. The emergency horn that Chiron played at the start of every summer so campers would know what that sound meant. A warning for campers that the game stopped. When you reached Clarisse, Chiron and Mr D were already there. As well as most campers. 

“What happened?” campers talked among themselves.

“Move!” you pushed the kids blocking you from reaching Clarisse. 

Clarisse was bleeding from her forehead, and a metal stick was stuck in her left shoulder. It was overwhelming, people squeezing in to see what was going on, talking to each other. Even Chiron and Mr D couldn’t keep them in place. You kneeled beside Clarisse, trying to shield her from the campers, when you spotted one of the Athena kids that was following her earlier. 

You stood swiftly, without leaving Clarisse unattended and grabbed his armour with both hands to bring him closer.

“You take another step toward Clarisse again and I’ll make sure you won’t ever, ever, see another healthy day again. I’ll make sure you and your brothers will wake everyday in pain wishing you were dead instead,” you cursed him. 

You spoke in a low voice, but everyone heard. Just like that, everyone took a step back.

“y/n,” Chiron put his hand on your shoulder. “You’re needed in the infirmary, I’ll bring Clarisse there.”

You let him go, took your armour off and threw it on the ground before walking to the infirmary with your brothers close behind you. Michael had great healing skills too, so you’d need him. Will was learning so he stayed with you. Lee, as your head counsellor, also had to be here somehow. 

“Can you really do that?” Will asked timidly. “Make them sick forever.”

“Apollo kids can inherit dad’s plague powers,” Lee stated. “But it’s rare, and never that powerful.”

Will stared at you, but you only stared at the door. Waiting for Chiron to arrive. 

“Why are you so worried about Clarisse of all people,” Michael huffed. 

Lee slapped his arm. 

“What!” Michael rubbed his arm. 

“Great to know that’s what you’d think if we were ever on the battlefield,” you noted, “choosing who to help and who can die.”

“That’s not what I said!” he shouted.

“Then why shouldn’t I be worried about an injured camper, who just happened to be Clarisse?” you shouted back.

Someone cleared their throat. You both stopped bickering. Chiron. He put Clarisse on the bed next to the window and stepped back so you and Michael could start working. You didn’t need to talk to know what to do. You trained together, as a team, for years, so everything was done flawlessly and quickly. 

“She should be fine,” you announced, “I’ll stay and feed her ambrosia for the next few days and she should wake.”

“Great,” Chiron nodded, relieved. “Great work you two, as usual.”

They all left, except for Will and you both sat on the couch. You stared at Clarisse, with her head wrapped in a bandage, her shoulder too. 

“She doesn’t look so scary now huh,” you said. 

“No,” Will agreed. “So it really was the Athena cabin?”

“I don’t know, I mean I saw them. I don’t think Annabeth would’ve agreed to such a plan. As in a plan that’d almost kill their opponent in Capture the Flag. For a real quest, why not. But Capture the Flag?”

“What’s going to happen to those who pulled this stunt?”

“Well,” you sighed, “knowing Chiron, he’d probably just revoke their dessert privileges for two weeks instead of one. But I’m sure once she wakes up, she’ll know what to do.”

“Kill them?” Will ask, with a horrified expression.

“Maybe,” you shrugged. 

Will left first, leaving you alone with Clarisse. You told him you’d join him later when dinner would come. You went to see Clarisse. The bandages were already soaked, so you carefully removed them. You carefully cleaned her wounds again before bandaging them again. You fed her a tiny amount of ambrosia before joining the rest of your siblings for dinner. 

Before the feast could begin, Chiron gave a speech about how Capture the Flag wasn’t the place to settle personal accounts and that maiming and killing was forbidden. And how this time it went too far. 

“I’ve talked to the head counsellor in question, and it will be taken seriously. There will be consequences, and I don’t ever want to see this happening ever again.”

Campers nodded along, and went back to their table. You devoured your food in no time, not forgetting to leave some for the offering. Then you rushed to shower and clean your face before running to the infirmary where you’d spend the next few nights. 

“I really hope you’ll wake soon,” you told unconscious Clarisse. “I’m not used to having someone else in here.”

You walked around, putting things back where they’re supposed to, and walked back to where Clarisse was. Then you stood again, and sat.

“I’m crazy. A few hours with someone who doesn’t talk to me and I’m going insane,” you sighed. “Well, while we’re here, I have a few things to say, to get off my chest really,” you started your rant. “You know Will, my little brother. Well, Will is capable of holding his own, he can fight… maybe not your siblings, cause you’re all very, very, violent. But you don’t have to put him this far away each time you know, he notices.

“I’m saying,” you rested your back against the bed, “it could be different, you could come up with a different kind of strategy. It works for sure, you win a lot, but we could win in a different way also. 

“You know I saw you,” you continued after a moment. “Being followed by these idiots. I thought you knew, and–,” you paused. “Ugh I should’ve tried to protect you. Warn you. It was my job. Why didn’t I think of that earlier? And it was hot as hell, you could’ve felt a little dizzy and I should’ve–”

“Shut up,” Clarisse wheezed. 

You whipped around, standing up before backing away. 

“Ar– Clarisse?” you whispered. “Are you feeling alright?” you walked to her. 

Her eyes were still closed, she frowned and shook her head slightly. 

“Waw, Ares kids are tougher than I thought,” you mumbled to yourself. 

You went to grab some water and a straw, and sat next to Clarisse, on the bed. 

“You should drink a bit.”

She opened her eyes, and stared at you, with a blank expression. You blinked, and smiled, holding up the straw to her mouth. You frowned when she refused to drink. 

“Drinking water is good for you,” you added. “Please stop staring at me like you want to murder me.”

She rolled her eyes and drank everything before closing her eyes again, and turning her head on the other side. 

“Well, I’ll be sleeping on this bed,” you pointed to the bed next to hers, “if you need anything, shout.” 

Clarisse kept quiet, so you went to bed and fell asleep very quickly. Clarisse, on the other hand, could not fall asleep. She turned head around and looked at you. You clearly slept well, with your mouth slightly opened. After a few minutes of staring outside the window, her stomach growled. She needed to eat. 

There had to be food in here – she looked around and spotted a basket full of fruits and cake. That’ll do. She gathered all her strength and tried to push herself up using her left arm and yelped in pain. That woke you up.

“What’s wrong?” you worried.

“Nothing,” Clarisse panted, biting her lips. 

You rushed to her and saw her shoulder was bleeding again.

“What happened?” you worried, turning the lights on. 

You grabbed clean bandages, and a clean towel with some alcohol and rushed back to her. Clarisse somehow managed to sit up, her right arm holding onto where her left shoulder was stabbed.

“Don’t cover it,” you pushed her hand away.

You started to remove the blood soaked bandages when she grabbed your hand to stop you. You gave her a questioning look. Clarisse quickly let go of your hand and looked away, breathing slowly. You opened your mouth, but then closed it and resumed your work. 

“What were you trying to do anyway?” you asked when the wound was clean. 

“I was hungry.”

“I–, I mean I did say to shout if you needed me but I was not thinking a pained scream with you bleeding again. Just a ‘hey y/n bring me food’ would’ve suffice. I would’ve been up. And that’s done. Good as new.”

Clarisse was still looking away from you which hid her head wound. When she turned her head toward you, you raised your hand to touch her face, but she flinched away hard at your sudden movement. You froze, too afraid to move again. No one talked or dared to breathe – the silence became heavy. Clarisse opened her eyes, and stared at you. She took your hand in hers and put it down. 

“I–,” you breathed, “I was just going to check your head wound,” you murmured. 

“Go ahead then,” she sat straighter. 

You raised your hands slower this time, and tilted her head. You tore off her bandage and put it back in place. Clarisse could hear her heartbeat pacing up. Her mind and body stopped functioning. What was happening? She kept thinking about how your hands felt so warm in the night breeze, and how pretty you looked so close. Then when you dropped your hands, she came back to reality.

“Your face is still good. Like always,” and gave her a small smile. 

“I’ll go eat,” she blurted out before leaving bed.

“Oh– okay. I can go to the kitchen and bring other things if you want.”

“No it’s fine,” she brushed you off, focused on the fruits in front of her. 

Which was hard with you so close behind her. You watched Clarisse eat the strawberries and blueberries and grapes, and then you grabbed an orange and started to peel it. Once you were done you handed it to her. She grabbed it slowly and whispered a low thank you before eating it. Clarisse also ate half of the cake Katie brought to you earlier. 

“Demeter kids, am I right,” you ate with her, “I don't know what they put in their cakes but I could eat them everyday. You should rest now,” you put your hand on her right arm and squeezed it. “You can barely stand.”

This time when Clarisse closed her eyes, she fell asleep instantly. And so did you. The next morning, you were the first one up. As soon as the sun rose, you were ready to start your day. You went to your cabin and washed up before grabbing a new toothbrush for Clarisse. You changed your clothes, and then went to the Ares cabin. You opened the door, and no one was up yet. You spotted the only empty bunk bed – Clarisse had one for herself – and saw her drawer next to it. You grabbed a new pair of pants, and a new camp-half blood tee and left in a hurry. Clarisse was up by the time you came back.

“I brought some of your clothes so you could change,” you gave her the clothes and the toothbrush. “I did sneak into your cabin, but I didn’t look through your stuff, don't worry about that,” you smiled. “I mean, except for your clothes – sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“Well, I’ll let you change and I’ll be… not here for sure. I’ll go get breakfast!”

Clarisse watched you walk away, humming to some songs and when you were out of her sight, she got out of bed to change and clean herself. All she could think about was what happened yesterday. What even happened yesterday?

Before yesterday, you never spoke. She knew your name and vaguely knew what you looked like, but that was it. Since she arrived at camp, she didn’t once step into the infirmary – she didn’t need to. But now, for some reason, all she could think about was you. And how warm and soft your hands felt, how nice it felt to have you touch her face like that. 

By the time you came back, Clarisse went back to bed and laid down. You gave her what you brought and you ate together, picking off the same plate.

“How are you feeling this morning? Does it still hurt?” you pointed at her shoulder.

“I’m—,” she stopped. “It still hurts,” which was true. “A lot,” that wasn’t.. 

“Really?” you worried. “I thought you’d be doing fine, because you woke so early. I thought your body was healing faster than most campers. Well,” you picked a strawberry with your fork, “you’ll have to stay here longer then.”

“Can’t go against the doctor’s orders,” she shrugged. 

“True,” you smiled. “You finish this,” you pushed the plate toward her, “I’ll go get some supplies to change this,” you gently patted her shoulder. 

You rolled your chair away, and grabbed what you needed and rolled back to Clarisse. You hopped onto her bed, and started your routine. The wounds were healing perfectly fine, and very quickly, so it was odd that Clarisse was still in extreme pain. 

“I don’t think these wounds will scar,” you said. 

“A shame, they’d make me look tougher.”

“Look?” you huffed. “You don’t need those to look tougher, you already do. Scary even,” you joke, but not really. “I mean I’m not scared– anymore… but yeah, some people may say– think you do. Anyway, scar or not, you’ll always look and be the toughest.”

“Anymore?” she grinned. “Were you before?”

“I mean,” you dragged that last vowel, “I don’t think scared is the right word. More like– intimidated. I never went to these meetings for Capture the Flag because I knew if you disagreed or worse – dismissed my ideas – I would’ve cried.”

“I never would’ve done that,” she chuckled, “I don’t think you’re capable of having bad ideas. Lee’s constantly praising you and giving us your ideas that I always take into account.”

“Really?” you couldn’t stop your smile. 

She shrugged, and nodded. You playfully slapped her on the shoulder – the left one – and she yelped in pain.

“What the hell!”

‘Sorry!” you backed away, “it was a reflex.”

Clarisse ended up staying in the infirmary with you for three whole days, but she couldn’t fake it anymore when the wound completely healed and it was as if nothing had happened. The day she left, you cleaned up the room and sat alone on the couch, just like before. 

It was weird. Usually, you enjoyed the silence and solitude of the room, but now it was as if time had stopped. Every time you looked at the clock, it’d only been two minutes. And so were the next few days. Then on Friday, as usual, Lee came in to visit. You worked in silence – which was the first odd thing Lee noticed – then he saw how you always stared at the empty bed Clarisse used to stay in. 

“You’re being weird,” he said. 

“I’m not!”

“You’re never this quiet when I visit.”

“The past few days were a bit dry,” you explained casually.

“You can say you miss Clarisse, it’s fine,” he sat next to you on the couch. 

“I–,” you sighed. “It’s just… I was getting used to having someone with me.”

“Well maybe you should spend less time here and more time outside with, mmh I don’t know, Clarisse maybe.” 

“What if she doesn’t see me as a friend though? What if I’m imagining things? She hasn’t visited me once.”

“Then you come back here, and the end.”

“I hate you,” you groaned. “You’re no help to me at all!”

When the door suddenly flew open which startled both of you. You could recognise these hair anywhere. 

“Clarisse?” you called her name. 

She turned to face you, and a gasp came out of your mouth before rushing to her. 

“What happened to your face?” you held her arms.

Clarisse had a nasty cut going from her eyebrow to her hairline. She stared at you without saying anything before turning her gaze to Lee, and he spurted out some excuses and then left. But before he closed the door, he gave you a knowing look saying ‘see, she’s here’. 

“What happened?” you frowned. 

“I don’t know,” she whispered. She cleared her throat. “These few days of rest weren’t a good idea I think.”

“That’s–,” you paused, “not accurate.”

But before she could reply, you grabbed her arm and dragged her to the other side of the room, and let her sit on the chair. You grabbed clean cotton and some alcohol and started to clean her wound. You stood closely to her, between her legs with her hands holding onto your thighs to stay steady. 

“How did this happen anyway?” you asked.

“I was practising with my brothers.”

You frowned, and tried to step away but Clarisse was holding on tight to your thighs. 

“You got beat up by your brothers?” you repeated with a raised eyebrow. “I have a hard time believing this. You’re just better than them,” you said casually before patching up her wound. 

“Why do you know so much about my brothers’ skills?”

“I don’t! I know about yours. And from what I saw in the past, it’s always you leading the fight so I assumed that’s because you’re the best among them.”

“Mh,” she hummed, “well I guess you haven’t been doing your job very well if I’m not back to my old self yet,” she grinned. 

“Or,” you grinned back, “maybe it’s your skills. I think they need a little sharpening. Maybe I could spare some time and teach you if you need.”

She suppressed a smile. 

“Or, maybe you just want to spend time with me.”

You were close to each other, and Clarisse was still holding onto you. You crossed your arms, and stared at her. She was looking up at you, and you were looking down, which was a rare occurrence since she was much taller than you. 

“I’m doing a favour to you at best. But if you don’t want to,” you sighed, “it’s–.”

“I do,” she affirmed. 

That was the start of your friendship. Turns out Clarisse was really glad to hang out with someone that wasn’t her sibling. She was always the one seaking you out. At lunch, at dinner, during classes. All the time. Even when you were working, because somehow she always, always, ended up getting hurt. 

One of the first times she came in after your friendship hangouts was for a sprained ankle. She came in limping, and threw herself on her – not really – bed, groaning. 

“What happened?” you rushed to her side, worried. “You’re lucky I just came back in here!” 

Clarisse didn’t want to admit this, but that was exactly why she was here. She was on her way to her cabin when she spotted you walking around with your sisters and she was so focused on you that she tripped and fell. 

“I just fell,” she explained. 

“You just fell,” you repeated slowly. “Right. Well lucky you because this,” you patted her leg, “will heal in no time with this,” you brought her some ambrosia. 

“That’s it?” she asked.

“Yeah,” you smiled. 

“Oh.”

Then the next time she came, like the next few ones, were always injuries that required you to clean up the wound, and then patch her up. It went from tiny cuts to ‘I have a bruise here’ then showing you her perfectly unbruised skin to serious injuries that she got during Capture the Flag. 

“You know at this rate I feel like you’re doing this on purpose,” you joked when she came in for the umpteenth time. “What is it this time?”

She shrugged and sat on her designated bed, and laid down. You joined her and sat next to where her legs rested. She held up her hand and you took it before she dragged you to lay beside her. The beds in the infirmary weren’t big enough for two so you were half laying on Clarisse with her arm resting behind your head. 

“Did you paint that?” she asked.

The ceiling was painted by the Apollo cabin, all together you decided on a design and painted it over weeks worth of work.  

“Here,” you pointed at the top of the painting. “That was painted by me.”

“Two planets?” 

“The moon and Saturn,” you smiled.

“Linked by a thread?”

“Yea, the red string of fate. It’s from Chinese mythology. The old lunar matchmaker god, who is in charge of marriages, would tie together two people with this red string of fate and they are destined to be together, to be lovers regardless of time, place or circumstances. And no matter what, that thread will never break. It can stretch or get tangled up, but it never breaks.”

“And what about the moon and Saturn then?” she frowned, confused. 

“Because,” you paused. “Your braids like a pattern, love you to the moon and to Saturn,” you started to sing, “Passed down like folk songs, the love lasts so long.”

You turned your head to look at her only to see confusion on her face.

“Taylor Swift, seven,” you explained. “It’s great, we’ll have to listen to it someday.”

“Sure.”

“Really?” you looked at her excitedly.

“Yeah, you seem to like her so sure, I’ll listen with you,” she shrugged.

“Oh and that’s Will’s painting,” you showed her another corner. “That’s my dad and his lover, Hyacinthus. That’s where the name of the flower came from. Isn’t that kind of sweet how he named a flower after him.”

“I mean didn’t Apollo kill – by accident – Hyacinthus?” she grimaced. 

“Or Zephyrus was so jealous of my dad that he killed his lover, because he couldn’t get no man. My dad is an excellent archer. His aim never failed him. I don’t see how it’s possible for him to kill his lover. But gods being petty over these kinds of things, that I can believe.”

Clarisse hummed in agreement. 

“But enough about my father’s love life,” you shrugged, turning around to face Clarisse, “what about your dad? Still desperately trying to woo someone else’’s wife?”

“I don’t want to talk about my dad,” she yawned, then closed her eyes. 

“Okay.”

Just as you were about to continue talking, you noticed that Clarisse had fallen asleep. It was still early in the afternoon so it was still bright outside. You looked around and started to get up so you could pull the curtains but Clarisse grabbed your arm to pull you closer to her, locking you in her arms. 

“Don’t go,” she mumbled. 

“Okay,” you whispered and stayed still. 

The thing was, Clarisse was like a human radiator. Sleeping in her arms felt exactly like sleeping under tons of heavy blankets. This much warmth only resulted in falling asleep in Clarisse’s arms. When you woke, you were alone in bed.

“Slacking off during work hours,” Lee said standing next to you. 

“Fuck!” you jumped off bed. “Why were you staring at me sleeping!” you screamed.

“You weren’t there and it’s almost time for dinner. I’m being a nice brother!” he shouted back.

“Oh. Well, thanks!” you yelled, and gave him a smile. 

You both left  to join your siblings at the dining pavilion, and once you sat at your usual spot, you scanned the room in search of Clarisse. She was at her table like usual, and eating in silence, head hanging low. Your tactic of staring at her wasn’t working even though you knew she knew that you were staring at her. 

“What are you doing?” Lee kicked you with his elbow. “Did something happen with Clarisse?” he whispered. 

You shook your head. 

“I mean,” you leaned in whispering, “we did sleep together.”

Lee’s eyes widened, mouth wide open and he backed away in shock. 

“You– you slept together? In the infirmary?”

“Not slept together,” you rolled your eyes, “she fell asleep and did I.”

“Ah.”

“Anyways, she left without saying anything,” you explained. “And now, I feel like she’s avoiding me.”

“It’s only been a few hours.”

“She’s avoiding me, I’ve been staring at her for at least fifteen minutes and nothing. Not a glance from her.”

“Okay creep. But once again, just talk to her. It would solve all your problems here.”

“She’s the one who doesn’t talk. I talk. A lot!”

 “Trust me, I know. I just don’t think Ares kids are the best at talking, you know.”

“Fine.”

But as it turned out, Clarisse mastered the art of avoiding people – you – when she wanted to. Whenever you tried to talk to her, she would disappear. After a few days of trying, you gave up and told everything to Lee. 

“If she doesn’t want anything to do with me, then fine by me,” you frowned, holding back your tears. 

“I’m sure you’re overthinking this,” he tried to comfort you.

“Oh please,” you huffed. “You saw what happened this morning when I tried to talk to her. I’ll get over it,” you whispered. “I’ll get over her.”

Lee considered himself your best friend, and favourite brother. You never said these things, but he considered you his best friend and favourite sister. And as your best friend he had to do something, he had to talk to Clarisse and give her a piece of his mind. So that night, he was a man on a mission. He walked to the Ares cabin, and waited for Clarisse to either go or or go out. 

“Clarisse!” he called her name when she finally left her cabin.

“What do you want, Fletcher?” Clarisse sighed, clearly annoyed.

“Oh, so you do speak. And here I thought you lost that ability,” he snickered.

“I will punch you in the face.”

Lee rolled his eyes and crossed his arms.

“I’m not scared, unlike you.”

“What–.”

“You’re scared to talk to y/n for whatever reason, and I need you to pluck up the courage to talk to her because you’re making her miserable by avoiding her.”

“I–,” she froze. 

Was she making you miserable? 

“You’re just doing your thing and going to her when you need, when you want but have you ever thought about what she was thinking? No. You would if you’d just listened to her, but no,” he made a big gesture, “avoiding her like the plague.”

“Why are you telling me this?” she mumbled, looking away.

“I’m telling you that you made a mistake, and if you continue down this path you’re going to lose her for good. I’m not saying this for you, because I couldn’t care less about you, but y/n is my sister and I want her to be happy and for some reason you are making her happy,” he rolled his eyes, “so do whatever you want with this information.”

Clarisse stood there, not saying anything, watching Lee walking away. But then he stopped and turned around to walk toward her again. 

“Before I forget,” Lee added before throwing his strongest punch in her face. “For making my sister cry.”

And he ran away, before Clarisse could punch him back. But Clarisse was too busy thinking about you to think about Lee and what he just did. If it weren’t for that afternoon in the infirmary, she probably would’ve ran to you so you could take care of her, but now, she couldn’t. So she went to sleep, wishing that tomorrow it’ll be better.

You were one of the first campers to arrive for breakfast. You ate slowly, and by the time the dining pavilion was filled with campers, you were done. But you stayed and listened to your siblings talk. Just as you were about to leave, Clarisse came in and you dropped your fork in shock. She had a black eye and her cheek was bruised, with her nose in a weird shape. She looked at you, as you stood urgently. But then you froze – should you go to her? You sat back down, still staring at Clarisse. 

“What happened to her?” Will whispered to you.

“I don’t know,” you whispered back. 

“You don’t? I thought you were friends.”

“Yea, me too,” you sighed. 

Clarisse was walking to her table, dragging her feet along and when she walked past the Apollo table, you stood and grabbed hand, forcing her to face you. When you noticed several heads staring at you, you dragged Clarisse away and brought her to the archery field. 

“What happened to your face?” you held her face in your hands.

“Nothing,” she leaned into your touch. 

“Clarisse,” you whispered. “Just talk to me please.”

“Lee came to have a little chat with me yesterday.”

“He did this?” you gasped. 

“Yeah.”

You held your hand to your mouth, in shock and to hide a tiny part of you that wanted to laugh.

“And?” you asked.

“He said I was making you miserable.”

“That’s not true!” you insisted.

“I ignored you. And I shouldn't have. I don’t–” she hesitated, “want to lose you,” she mumbled.

“Then just talk to me, we’re friends too.”

“I– I don’t know,” she stepped back and took a deep breath. “I was confused! I– I don’t know I like it when you take care of me,” she admitted in a low voice. “I’m being weird and–.”

“You’re not,” you held her arms. “It’s not weird to love physical touch. I mean, I just assumed that it was your love language you know.”

“What?” she asked, confused. 

“I think what you like is when I hold you or when I touch you because you love physical touch,” you began, “and you were doing everything to visit me, pretending to be a bad fighter and getting hurt on purpose.”

“No that’s no–,” she shook her head.

“It’s fine! My love language is quality time, and there’s nothing wrong—.”

“No it’s different–.”

“It’s not! It’s fi—.”

“It’s because I like you,” she blurted out. 

Oh. You couldn’t help but smile at her confession. 

“It’s not funny!” she huffed, crossing her arms. 

“I’m not laughing! I’m… happy about this outcome,” you rested your head against her arms and looked up. “Because I like you too Clarisse.”

“Really?” she stared at you.

You nodded. 

“I’m sorry about ignoring you,” she added.

“Mmh,” you smiled, “I accept your apology. But you’ll have to make it up to me.”

“Anything you want.”

“A kiss?” 

Clarisse uncrossed her arms and held your face instead and leaned in to kiss you eagerly. And you happily gave in, wrapping your arms around her waist. 

“Mmh, keep doing that and I’ll forgive you, no doubt.”

[princessbrunette]

i need a longer blurb of jj teaching reader how to smoke 🙏🏻 possible shotgunning

i was hoping someone would ask teehee ♡

suggestive themes down below, mentions of weed etc

jj cringes at himself as he taps the cracked screen of his iphone, hitting play on the spotify playlist titled simply with the leaf emoji — a subtle and yet juvenile nod to it being his smoking playlist. what kind of nerd actually has a playlist made and ready to hit play when hanging out with a pretty girl, he thinks — cheeks a little red under the dim light. his shitty speaker hiccups and splutters before playing the music smoothly, just as he comes to drop down beside you on the comfy old couch.

“anyway, fuck uh— i don’t remember. it doesn’t matter.” he waves a hand, pushing his heels into the ground to lift up his hips so he can pull the rolled J out his back pocket.

“your concentration is terrible.” you tease with a giggle, legs tucked beneath you. he recalls you looking particularly adorable in that moment, and his brain malfunctions for a second as he looks at you before he forces out a response.

“uh… yeah — i got that letter thing.”

“adhd?”

“thats the one.” he presses his fingers tightly around the compact J before patting his front pockets for a lighter. “you smoke?”

it was the first time you’d had the privilege of hanging out with just JJ alone. you were sarah’s friend, and had tagged along with her to a few pogue hangouts when she’d started dating john b. you all seemed to get on well as a group, and you were pretty meek and shy most of the time — which they found pretty endearing, so they kept you around. you were harmless, and brought an oddly charming sense of innocence to their reckless and vulgar world. you’d started harbouring a little crush on JJ since you’d met, all smiles and doe eyes whenever he was up to his usual nonsense. he was loud and untameable, but always made an effort to behave around you. the special attention made you melt.

“JJ you’re yelling.” pope would accuse and the blonde would hold his hands up.

“sorry.” he’d apologise before turning specifically to you. “sorry. those pretty ears. shouldn’t be hearing that.” he waves it off and continues with whatever rant he was on, but your smile doesn’t go away for like 2 minutes.

his effort didn’t go unnoticed by the pogues, and since you weren’t technically a pogue yourself — and it wouldn’t be breaking any pogue rules, john b and sarah specifically had encouraged the two of you to hang out alone, leaving JJ the keys to the chateau. it made total sense to them, john b desperately wanted jj to be happy (and to get some, from a nice girl.) and sarah was enthralled by the idea of double dates based off ideas she’d tucked into a pinterest board. whilst the blonde was infamous for making bad decisions, he wouldn’t let turning down alone time with a pretty girl be another on his extensive track record.

you eye him where he sits beside you on the small cushy couch, shifting a little — springs clinking beneath you suggesting it may have been a pull out bed. “i’ve never… i haven’t done it before.” you shrug, embarrassed. you envied the pogues in that way, whilst you’d been sheltered your whole life up into adulthood, they’d been able to explore themselves and figure out what they like.

his eyes widen a little and his mouth forms a surprised little ‘o’ shape, before nodding quickly and stuffing the J back into his pocket.

“what are you doing?” your brows furrow.

“don’t wanna make you feel weird, if i smoke ‘n stuff.” he waves a hand dismissively and you shake your head with wide eyes, sitting up a little in your seat.

“oh, no i don’t mind! don’t let me stop you.” you smile as reassuringly as you can. he looks at you for a moment, fixing his hat on his head before pausing a little and turning more toward you.

“totally shoot me down if you don’t wanna but…” he pulls the J back out, slowly and cautiously like it’ll scare you if he moves too fast. “you down to learn? heard i’m quite the teacher.” he smirks, but there’s a friendly twinkle behind his eyes that just makes him so approachable and non-intimidating that you feel completely safe.

“m’kay, yeah, i’ve always wanted to know what it feels like.” your voice is soft behind your wide smile and he wants to slap himself for staring at you for so long.

“alright, that’s the spirit.” he mirrors your grin, tossing his lighter in the air and catching it.

“i didn’t know smoking was something that needed to be taught.” you comment, shuffling a little downward so you can lean against the couch more— getting as comfortable as you can in your sweet little sundress. you were sat so close now you could feel his body heat radiating onto you, and it was doing something crazy to your stomach. that, and the way he looked, manspreading casually on the couch, white tee and black sweatpants, frowning in concentration as he presses the joint between his lips, holding a flame to the end of it until it glows and then shaking out the flame.

registering your words, he sends you a little face of mock offence that makes you giggle. he inhales deep and holds the smoke in his lungs, voice strained when he responds. “nah, this shit is an art form. ‘course it can be taught.” exhale. you find you’re holding your breath too.

“yeah this’ll be good for your first time, asked my guy for somethin’ weaker cos’ i didn’t want you to think i was bein’ a weirdo or whatever, smoking you out with the strong stuff so i can be creepy. i know some guys do that.” he rambles before taking another shorter toke, brows creased as he concentrates on his mini review.

“you bought weed especially for hanging out with me?” you smile kindly and he gapes for a millisecond, holding the J between his fingers and he blinks, caught out.

“yeah.” he shrugs. “s’like buying you flowers. but better.” he shuffles closer to you on the seat. before you have time to overthink the flowers comment, he’s carefully holding the joint to your lips, his own eyes wide and already a little glossy.

“i’m nervous.” you giggle, briefly holding his hovering wrist to stabilise you both.

“hey, you’re in good hands i swear, i’ll look after you.” he promises, free hand cupping your cheek with a teasing but far from unkind expression. “you’re my little baby tonight.” it was made to be a joke but your stomach does a little somersault.

“‘kay.” your lips brush the tip of the J and he has to force himself not to think something inappropriate.

“what i want you to do is breathe in and then hold it, ‘kay?” he instructs and you do so, eyes looking to him for guidance. it burns and tickles your throat at the same time but it’s not awful, you don’t even cough. maybe this is rare, because he grins when you squint— holding it in your chest. “atta girl! see, you’re born for this. breathe out for me.” his voice is closer, and therefore quieter, more intimate. you’re a lightweight by nature, so by your second toke the delay starts to unwind and you start feeling a buzz.

sativa by jhené aiko starts to play through the cheap speaker by the time you’re really feeling it. he’s talking to you the whole time, talking you through it, praising you. your whole body feels hot and you revel in the euphoria of feeling so safe and comfortable in someone’s presence. you lean against his shoulder a little, giggling over a little anecdote he told you about his day with pope.

he’s grinning with pretty pink eyes, turning to look down at you, really look at you close up. his heart stammers because you’re so damn beautiful and he nearly chokes on smoke. that would have been embarrassing.

“you’re cute.” he lifts his cap for a second, running a hand through his hair and you tilt your head, joint still clasped between your fingers.

“really?”

“totally. i’d complain about anyone else getting lipgloss on the joint, but you’re cute so you’re allowed.” he jokes and you’re off again, leaning more into him as you chortle. his arm wraps around your shoulders, pulling you closer until your head rests against him. he looks down at you, a warm smile bordering on chuckle spreading across his face at the way you’re gazing up at him like he hung the moon and stars for you. “y’wanna learn something else?” he offers and you’re slow, but eager— eyes widening hazily and nodding clumsily.

“alright. y’trust me, yeah?” he adjusts his position a little.

“mhm, yeah i do JJ.” you’re all dazed and openly crushing. he seems pretty into it and you’re glad, because someone a little meaner might find it pathetic.

he takes your hand holding the joint and brings your fingers that clasp it to his lips, where he then takes a hit. his palms encase your jaw, pulling your face to his. he pulls ever so slightly, so your mouth gapes before he’s breathing the smoke slowly into your mouth. your heart hammers, and your hands are frozen but you get the hint and inhale, feeling the second hand burn. you open your eyes, not remembering having closed them and he’s staring at you— and you don’t get the chance to pull away because he’s closing the gap again and pressing his lips fully to yours.

you let out a quiet moan at the surprise, the sound from your throat a lot more vulgar than intended and he pulls back after a moment, eyes flickering between yours.

“sorry.”

“dont be. i wanna do it again. can we?”

“the smoking thing or the…” he trails off as you lean in slowly, a curious and sweet expression tainted with a glossy haze of intoxication and lust. you’d never been like this before with anyone, hell— you’d never felt like this.

you press your lips to his, kissing him simply before pulling back. your brows pinch together and be bites back a smile, thumbing at your cheekbone.

“wh’sthe matter?” he whispers.

“there’s more you need to teach me.” you bat your eyelashes at him and he feels himself wake up from the waist down, subtly adjusting himself.

“well we got all night.” he teases before leaning in, this time his mouth taking the lead. the joint is put out and forgotten about as he presses an open mouthed kiss to your swollen lips. “didn’t i say i was a good teacher?”

[russos-ventitre]

alessia russo x reader | lezioni di italiano III 🧸

✘ summary: you have a breakthrough with your emotions and it scares you

✘ warnings/tags: friends to lovers, angst, reader is mid-20s, AWFC!reader, ItalyWNT!reader

✘ words: 2717

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎→ part i ‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎→ part ii

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎→ part iii

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎→ part iv

‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎‏‏‎ ‎→ part v

a/n: translations provided as always!

ˏˋ°•*⁀➷ tre

Three weeks later...

Another week meant another lot of lessons, continuing to teach Alessia your mother tongue, moving past the basics and onto more intermediate stuff. She was really starting to get the hang of things, happy to switch from English to Italian mid-conversation when she sensed that's what you wanted. She was very charming in that respect, her confidence growing alongside her vocabulary.

The blonde would come over multiple times a week and listen to you go on and on about the weird rules of the Italian language, why words had to be ordered in a certain way, how the language was mostly phonetic with a few exceptions, and a few other annoying things that you wouldn't really know unless you were a native.

Nonetheless, she never got bored of listening to your lecture or rant, or sometimes both, bouncing from thought to thought as you remembered a new thing, probably confusing the hell out of the poor girl.

You paused your lecture to walk into the kitchen, your throat dryer than a desert from all your talking, grabbing a glass of water, you chugged nearly the entirety of it. Letting out a sigh as you stared out the window in front of your sink, watching as the rain slid down the pane. You watched as the droplets slid down the glass, allowing yourself to zone out as the faint rain provided white noise. You weren't sure why but you were feeling anxious, hands clammy, throat drying up again, despite you downing a glass moments ago, and your body slightly shaking like a chihuahua.

What is wrong with me?

You wiped the sweat from your forehead with the back of your hand, watching as it trembled before you gripped onto the edge of the sink. You dipped your head down, closing your eyes, letting out a deep sigh in hopes of calming your nerves. There was a hushed noise from behind you, but you couldn't make it out, brain all fuzzy and thoughts all deafening. It called out again, a bit louder this time, a bit more familiar.

"[y/n]?" A hand came to rest on your shoulder, pulling you out of your suffocating thoughts.

Your head lifted up, turning to meet her, the girl you couldn't stop thinking about, the girl that you were seemingly convinced was the reason why you'd been acting off recently.

"Are you okay?" She asked, her hand coming to wipe away a tear that had trailed down your face.

Was I crying?

"Hmm? Oh.. y-yeah.. just uh- needed a minute.. sorry.."

Alessia's eyes softened the longer she looked at you, seeing your heart aching just by looking deep into your irises. Without a word, she pulled you into a hug, you not at all having the strength to reject it and run and hide in your room. You had no idea you were crying and now that she had come and found you, seeing you in a state like this, you were completely embarrassed.

Her strong hand came to cradle the back of your head, holding you close as you had no choice but to bury your face in her shoulder, your own arms coming to grip at her back. Her other hand stroked down your thick frame, perfectly manicured nails calmingly scratching at your back. You didn't know why but the second your body made contact with hers you just felt all of the pent-up emotions you were containing just release into her arms.

"Hey.. it's okay.." She cooed, pulling you even closer, if that were at all possible, deep concern painting her features.

The striker led you to your living room, helping you settle on the sofa as she continued to hold you in her arms, your head now resting in her chest, as you tried evening out your breathing.

"Parla con me." [Talk to me.] She whispered, continuing to rub her hand down your back.

You took in a deep inhale, followed by a hiccup from crying, slowly lifting your head you faced her for the first time in what felt like ages. Tear stains decorating your face, alongside the swollenness of your eyes and redness of your cheeks.

"Mi dispiace.. stella." [I'm sorry.. star.] You started, dipping your head back down as you felt a knot form in your throat.

"..I don't know what's wrong with me.. everything just feels.. fuzzy and suffocating and loud all the time.." You shook your head slightly, feeling bad for not making sense, the blonde continuing to comfort you by rubbing your back, her eyes never leaving your face.

"..theres too many things going on right now in my head and I can't make the thoughts stop.." You sighed in defeat, slumping your head on her shoulder, without a single care on how it would only further increase your physical contact with the younger girl.

Alessia waited a minute before speaking, desperately trying to read your mind or will the pain away that was currently haunting you. "What kind of thoughts..?" She asked cautiously, afraid that the next things you might confess could be detrimental.

You let out a deep sigh, shaking your head as you weren't quite able to believe what you were about to say, knowing that you wouldn't be able to take it back once it was said and that it could possibly ruin your relationship with the blonde or worse, make the current club you're playing for, a now awkward environment.

"Tu mi piaci.." [I like you..] You murmured, hiding your face in her neck, wishing the floor would just consume you as you felt her skin turn hot.

The striker swallowed hard, feeling you go tense in her grip. "..mi piaci davvero.." [..I really like you..] You continued, hating yourself the more you spoke but knowing that you'd continue drowning in your own thoughts if you never admitted your feelings for her verbally.

She rested her head on top of yours, her hands never straying from your back. "Anche tu mi piaci davvero." [I really like you, too.] The younger girl whispered, a smile slowly forming on her lips as her face heated up.

Your breathing hitched in her arms, your eyes going wide as you tried to process if you were dreaming or not, heart racing a bit faster than it already had been. Slowly, you removed your face from hiding, locking eyes with the blonde.

"Posso baciarti?" [Can I kiss you?] You asked quietly, your demeanour becoming timid the longer you stared into her baby blues.

"Per favore.." [Please..]

Your hand delicately cupped her face, pulling her in for a soft kiss, the striker's hands holding onto your waist and pulling you in closer. Everything felt warm, everything felt natural, everything felt calm.

She kissed you tenderly, leaving you breathless as she slowly claimed your mouth. Her hand carefully manoeuvered to your back as she began to lean forward, laying you flat on your back on the sofa, never breaking the kiss. You felt your heart fall out of your arse as she lowered you into the cushioning, eyes rolling back as she took over, taking care of you with her soft lips and delicate hands. The blonde was now hovering over you, continuing to kiss you until your lips were swollen, you hands located on the younger girl's waist the entire time.

After some time she pulled up for air, her cheeks flush red and her chest panting as she looked down at you. Your face just as red as hers, maybe worse, looking back up at her to see her smiling down at you. Your hand came to caress her face, tongue weting your lip as you craved more. Both of you had only been given a taste but you already wanted more, craving each other's touch.

You hands grabbed at the collar of her hoodie, pulling her down for another breathtaking kiss, both of you happily humming into it. You felt all fuzzy inside, body melting against the material of sofa as you passionately kissed your girlfriend?

Are we official now?

Whatever the two of you were, you didn't care, you were just finally happy that you could be in her arms again, this time for an entirely different reason. And it felt so right.

The Next Morning...

As you woke up, you went to stretch out your body only to be restricted in moving your arms when you suddenly realise who was attached to you. You blushed, taking note of how adorable Alessia looked whilst attached to your body, your heart absolutely swooning when she nuzzled her face closer.

Yesterday wasn't a dream..

You ran your fingers through her golden locks, giving her light scratches on her scalp to wake her up.

"Ale-" Wait.. "..baby..?" You muttered, trying to wake her.

Woah.. that feels weird.

"Mmm.. hmm..?" The blonde groaned, not really hearing what you said as her head just barely lifted off your chest.

"How'd you sleep baby?" You asked more confidently, carding your fingers through her hair.

Alessia's head immediately perked up at the term of endearment, her cheeks heating up as she locked eyes with you. Your eyes widened at her notable sudden burst of energy.

"D-Did I say the wrong thing?" You asked panicked, worried that you were maybe going too fast.

"No no! I really like that.." She admitted, blushing harder now and trying to hide her burning face with her hair.

Your face softened, your hand trailing to her face to cup her cheek. "Sei carina.." [You're cute..] You sighed, watching her melt in your hand.

"Vieni qui.." [Come here..] You motioned, helping the blonde crawl up your body and rest her head on your chest, pressing delicate kisses to the top of it as she laid her head and hand on top of your chest.

The blonde nuzzled her face in your neck, a place that was quickly becoming her favourite place to be, pressing a soft kiss to your skin before settling.

Later that week...

It had only been a few days since the two of you became official, the both of you able to spend some time together before Arsenal camp resumed. It was nice being in each other’s company, Alessia taking it into her own hands and slowly moving into your flat, not that you were one to complain. You adored the blonde, you felt empty when she wasn't around, so having her stay at your flat was refreshing, especially when you would find some of her belongings scattered around your newly shared home. It gave you something to smile about during your day.

"Amorina.." [Little love..] You sighed, stroking your fingers through her hair.

"Hmm..?" She hummed back, smiling softly as she nuzzled herself closer to your chest.

"Are we gonna tell the team?" You questioned, feeling her head lift off your chest.

"Umm.." The blonde pursed her lips together, looking up at you. "..we can do, it's whatever you want though, love."

"Yeah?"

"Mhm." She responded with a nod, pecking your lips quickly before settling back down on your chest.

"Or we can keep it to ourselves.." The taller girl continued, a hand slithering around the back of your torso to pull you closer.

"..our little secret." She giggled.

"Il nostro piccolo segreto?" [Our little secret?]

"Sì, il nostro piccolo segreto, amore mio." [Yeah, our little secret, my love.] The blonde hummed back happily.

First day back...

Alessia offered to drive the two of you to training today, especially since you stayed over at hers for the night, intentionally bringing your kit bag and all your training necessities with you. It's not like you weren't expecting the offer and you definitely were going to miss out on an opportunity for her to drive you around. The thing is you liked driving, it was nice and calming, you just weren't fully comfortable with the whole idea of driving on the other side of the road.

You happily took a seat inside the blonde's Mercedes, almost instantly feeling her hand coming to rest on your thigh as you settled into the car. Heat crawled up your neck, all the way to your cheeks as you watched her fingers gently stroke at the material covering your leg. Her eyes were fixated elsewhere, too busy fiddling with her car to notice your obvious flustered self.

"Ready to go?" She asked, pulling her sunglasses from the top of her head, onto the bridge of her nose, smiling in your direction.

"Y-Yeah.." You mumbled back, struggling to get your words out.

"Tesoro.. miei occhi sono su qui, amore." [Darling.. my eyes are up here, love.] Alessia took her other hand, tracing her fingers under your chin as she tilted it upward, finally meeting your gaze.

"Tutto bene?" [Everything okay?] She tilted her head down slightly, allowing her sunglasses to slide down the bridge of her nose, revealing her ocean-blue eyes.

"Mmm." You nodded back, lips pursed together as her fingers continued to linger below your chin.

"Parole, amore." [Words, love.] The striker muttered back, only further making you blush.

"I'm okay baby.. promise." You smiled back shyly, knowing full well that she was doing all this to wind you up right before training.

"Good." She hummed back, pulling you in for a breathless kiss before swiftly pulling away to reverse out of the driveway, you sat in the passenger seat feeling all dizzy from your quick exchange.

Entering the building with Alessia, standing very closeby her, earned the two of you a lot of knowing looks and a few hushed whispers. Everyone had their eyes on you two, some faint 'oooohs' and some light teasing towards you both occurred throughout the entire day. To say that the team didn't know was a lie, people sensed something between the two of you the minute you transferred to the club. It was almost like you and Alessia were the last two to know about it.

"So.. you and Less.." Victoria started, slinging an arm around your shoulders as the two of you walked back inside.

"-stop.. she was just doing me a favour.." You brushed her off, shaking your head as you looked at the ground.

"Tell that to the smile plastered on your face.."

"Vaffanculo Pelova.." [Fuck off..] You muttered, watching as the brunette ran over to gossip with the other girls.

You gathered your belongings, changing out of your dirty kit, before making your way towards your blonde lover, sitting in front of her cubby as she packed her own things away.

"Pronti?" [Ready?] You asked, arms resting on your legs as you looked up at her with a smile. You weren't exactly going out of your way to pretend like you weren't head over heels in love with the girl, although your tough exterior was softening anytime you were around her and it wasn't going unnoticed by your teammates.

"Quasi, tesoro." [Almost, darling.] She muttered back, shoving the last few bits of her things in her kitbag before slinging it over her shoulder. Luckily the two of you were alone so you were able to be yourselves in front of each other, but that didn't mean that someone couldn't walk in at any given moment.

When she finished, she blindly reached her hand out in front of you, you happily lacing your fingers with hers, lightly pressing a kiss to her knuckles as you stood up. She peered her head out of the dressing room, seeing if anyone was still around, before guiding you out into the corridor.

"Really.." Leah snorted, unable to hide the shit-eating grin on her face as she watched the two of you slowly make your exit, both of your faces bright red.

Alessia swiftly turned around, hiding herself behind you, hand still laced with your own. "You scared the shit out of me Leah!" Your girlfriend whined, resting her chin on your shoulder.

"Don't you dare Williamson." You spoke sternly, watching as she laughed quietly to herself.

"I won't.. go on then you two." She waved her hand, ushering for the both of you to leave.

"..I think a certain Meado owes me 25 quid.." She mumbled to herself as she watched you wrap an arm around Alessia, protectively pulling her close to your body.

‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎← part ii ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏‎‎‎‏‏‎ ‎‎‏‏part iv →

[upat4amwiththemoon]

OH LORD I HAVE A REQUEST

What do you think of this

Wanda or Natasha over hear a conversation between r and a friend that she's having over, speaking about a new teacher who apparently look like a sweetheart and hears r saying she has a crush on this woman

I just love how you write so I'll let you handle everything else, just giving you the big idea yknow 👀

Innocent crush

Summary: Everyone has that one teacher.

Pairing: WandaNat x daughter!reader

Warnings: none

Word count: 677

a/n: I have a confession to make..I never had a crush on a teacher

Tags: @thought-of-you-and-me @rafecameronswhore @emsmultiverse @natashamaximoff69

masterlists | guidelines

“No, you don’t get it, she’s such a sweetheart.” Y/N groans, flopping down to the bed. “And she’s so fricking hot.”

Kate laughs, laying next to Y/N. Despite being in the same school, she has actually never had classes with the teacher her friend is currently crushing on. “I’m sure she is.”

With a dreamy sigh, she stares at the roof. “I might be delusional, but I’m pretty sure she pays more attention to me than the rest of the class.”

“Oh, totally not delusional.”

“I know right!” Y/N raises to lean on one of her elbows. “She keeps staring at me.”

“My math teacher keeps ranting about his divorce to us.”

When the conversation changes and the two girls’ laughter can be heard through the door, Wanda sneaks off to the living room with a fruit plate in her hand. She’s not one to eavesdrop, usually, but her daughter just happened to be talking about a crush when she was going to bring them snacks.

She sets the plate down to the table and sits next to Natasha on the couch, taking her attention off of the book she’s reading. “Y/N has a crush.”

“Oh?” Putting the book down, Natasha turns to Wanda with raised brows.

“On the new teacher she has.” She states. “She said she is fricking hot.”

Natasha chuckles, “is she still too scared to curse?”

“Yes, and rightly so.”

“You curse like a sailor.”

Mumbling off the accusation, Wanda turns back to the matter in hand. “Our daughter has a crush on an older woman.”

“I’m sure it’s fine. Isn’t it normal for students to have crushes on teachers?” Wanda shrugs. Neither of the women had a normal upbringing, nor crushes on teachers, considering school wasn’t a bog part of their lives. “As long as the teacher doesn’t do anything inappropriate, everything should be okay.”

“Shouldn’t we still talk about it to her?”

“Then she’d know you were eavesdropping.

“I wasn’t-“ Wanda sighs and rolls her eyes, not trying to argue against the accusation, “we’ll just have to find a way to be subtle about it.”

Unfortunately, subtlety wasn’t the ex-Avengers’ strength when it came to their daughter.

“So,” Wanda starts as they’re eating dinner together, “any new crushes?” She asks with a seemingly innocent smile on her face.

“No.”

Humming, Wanda stares at her daughter. Y/N pays no mind to it, continuing eating in silence, while Natasha hides her grin by taking a sip of her drink. “How’s the new teacher? She any good?”

“Yeah, she’s alright.”

“Is she good looking?”

Now Y/N lifts her head to look at Wanda, her brows are scrunched together. “That’s weird, mom.”

“Is it?”

“Yeah.” Natasha comments with a laugh, ignoring the look her wife sends her.

Setting down her fork, Wanda lets her hands lay on the table. “I was just wondering, you know, if she was your type, or anything like that.”

Y/N squints her eyes, staring at Wanda. “You were eavesdropping me and Kate.” She states, annoyed her mom can’t stop meddling into her things.

She huffs, “it wasn’t eavesdropping. I was bringing you two snacks and overheard your conversation.”

“We never got any snacks.”

“Well, I left after I had the conversation.” She mumbles, picking up her fork again so she wouldn’t have to see the annoyed look on her daughter’s face. “It really isn’t my fault when you talk so loudly.”

“Mom!”

“I’m sorry. I just want to make sure, that nothing…inappropriate is going on.”

“Gross, mom.” Y/N pushes her almost empty plate away. “It’s just a crush, I’m not sending her nude pictures or anything like that.”

Natasha gives her a look, “you better not be sending any nudes to anyone.”

With a groan, Y/N stands up. “I am not sending nudes to anyone. Remind me to tell Kate I’ll start hanging out at her house from now on.” She walks away from the table.

“Now I’m worried about the nudes.” Wanda mumbles.

“We should check her phone, right?”

“Yeah.”

[findafight]

Wait hehe.

Modern au where Eddie has a decent following in social media and is known as both a guy who does ttrpg with a few friends and does cool metal covers of different song genres. He's weird, sure, and will also post two minute video monologues but it's done while camera is mildly unfocused on a worm on the wet pavement, or he'll rant about prog rock and then two minutes later go "I'm sorry my statements on Keith Emmerson were inappropriate and I guess" *pauses and looks off camera* "he totally deserves to be in the rock and roll Hall of Fame" like it's a hostage video and someone made him say it because he looks like he's having a terrible time about it.

Anyways he's an internet funny little man and one day he posts a tiktok or what have you labeled "tfw ur bf is sitting in his platonic soulmate's lap instead of yours" and it's just of Steve sitting sideways across Robin's lap on someone's couch chatting and smiling with her before turning to Eddie and giving a little finger wave.

This is of course met with internet hullabaloo because is that Steve Harrington and Robin Buckley? Famous indie music duo who are also starring in a popular new tv series? Social media weirdos? Beloved and popular and bizarre and memeable? Queer icons RobinandSteve? Was Eddie serious? He was dating thee Steve Harrington?

An hour later Robin tags Eddie in a post that is a video obviously taken from slightly under Steve as the angles are a bit weird, and Eddie can be heard saying "oh my god how could I have forgotten you're, like, really famous how'd I do that Steve! Babe, Stop laughing! It was supposed to be a silly relatable post! You're no better Buckley-hey why are you filming this? My mortification isn't funny!!" While the video is just shaking of Steve curling in on himself and Robin trying to focus on Eddie and you can hear them both cackling over Eddie talking. She captions it "tfw ur QPP's bf forgets you two are famous and that most ppl don't know they're dating. Or didn't, at least"

[bonny-kookoo]

Home: Perilla leave drama 🔞

In which Jungkook gets very worked up over a bit of teasing.

Tags/Warnings: I had to do it, Idol!Jungkook, foreigner!Reader, Jungkooks english iS sO cUtE, lil teasing, pouty JK, (playful) arguing, a bit of shouting, smut, he gotta prove a point you know wink wink, oral (fem. Receiving), kinda rough n messy but still romance because it's home kook y'all, he do be like that

Length: short

Languages are marked as: English | Korean

All home! Content can be found under the Tag Home! + Member. (example: Home!Jungkook, Home!Yoongi etc)

☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆

"It's just food, baby!" you laugh, as he continuously shakes his head furiously, cleaning up the kitchen counter after having finished eating dinner with you.

"it's not!" he argues, brows furrowed and lips in an evident pout. "it's- only I can!" he says, throwing the paper towel away with a bit more force than necessary before he turns towards you who's standing leaned against the fridge. "only me! I am boyfriend, not- whoever the hell, I dont care!" he contains. "next thing they help you put on your coat? Walk you home? Kiss you goodnight as well? Maybe even-" he begins to rant loudly, and you hold a hand out, walking towards him before you smile, holding his cheeks tenderly.

"baby you're shouting." you gently note, and he pouts now for an entirely different reason, looking down.

"sorry." he mumbles, and you can't help but lean up and peck his lips.

"do you really think I'd let that happen? Let someone else take care of me?" you ask, now hugging his body as you rest your chin on his chest, looking up at him. He's wrapping his arms around you as well- starting to sway you from side to side a little, still visibly a little worked up over the whole ordeal.

"no." he says lowly, muffled and quiet. "just.. Don't like. Only me." he says, and you giggle, nodding.

"only you." you say. "so, but it would be okay if I did it for Jimin then?" you tease, and he rolls his eyes, groaning as his head falls back.

"No!" he gasps, offended you'd even consider it- before he pushes his tongue against the inside of his cheek in irritation, raising an eyebrow once he sees you laughing at his demise. "you think is funny?" he accuses- though there's now a clear hint of a challenge in his voice as he suddenly picks you up, lifting you over his shoulder before he let's you down again in the bedroom, right on the bed. While you're still very much amused, he makes quick work of your pants and underwear, dropping down to his knees on the carpet underneath your shared bed before he dives in for his second dinner it seems.

He's doing it with so much dedication and determination that you can't help but gasp out, a moan escaping you before your hands can fly up to cover your mouth. It seems to only rile him up further, as he moves to hold one of your legs open, while his other hand starts to assist his tongue and lips in pushing you towards your orgasm. He doesn't care about the noise or mess he makes- you know, deep down, it's simply a challenge he can't let pass by like this. His fingers stretch you open for what you know will be him right after you've come once- it's always like this. He once explained that he just needs to be inside you or it's not right- rambling on and on about the intimate connection he shares with you, and how it's more than just sex to him.

That's Jungkook- a romantic. A weird one, but a romantic nonetheless.

"jungk- ugh!" you whine, arching your back before your eyes close, mouth open in a silent sound as you come undone- his motions slowly stopping, before he gets up again.

"fuck-" Jungkook curses to himself as he stumbles over something on the floor, having detached himself to fetch a condom he's now unwrapping, before he pushes down his grey sweats and calvin Klein's to fit it onto his already hard length. "no one can take care of you like I can." he almost growls, carefully pushing himself inside before he starts to move- uncaring of you both messing up the sheets on the bed. "no one can love you like I can." he continues, relishing in the way you seem unable to know where to put your hands. "and no one can fuck you like I can, isn't that right darling?" he almost teases between gritted teeth and a clenched jaw. The noises are loud, obscene, pornographic almost- wet skin against skin, clear strings of your arousal keeping him connected to you by his pelvis, as if to keep him close.

And close he stays as your legs tremble under the force of your orgasm, his own hitting him only a few more pushes after yours. He can't help but press himself against you, closer and closer, needing skinship and affection now more than ever.

The kisses you share help in calming down your breathing- but not only that, because his entire demeanor has now turned soft again, hands careful and tender as they run over your skin lovingly. "I love you." you hum out, making him grin as he rests his forehead against yours.

"only me?" he asks, and you laugh.

"only you."

[lomlhwa]

i can't take it (c.sb)

pairing: student!soobin x tutor!reader

preview: if soobin wasn't failing korean history, he never would've met you. he doesn't know whether it would've been better that way or not. all he does know is that, you wouldn't be on top of him right now if he was passing.

tags/warnings: hard dom!fem reader, sub!soobin, bondage, lots of grinding, 69, fingering, handjob + blowjob, a couple slaps across the face for soobin, degrading (reader is MEAN but soobin is into it), praise, pet names (mommy, momma, mistress), edging, overstimulation, f & m orgasms, unprotected penetration (wrap it before you tap it), belly bulge kink, size kink, creampie

trigger warnings: reader is really mean but it's all in the name of pleasure i swear

wc: 2.6k

song recs for this fic: scar by the boyz, chained up by vixx, baby don't stop by nct u, ridin' by nct dream

a/n: this is 2/2 fics dedicated to @toxicccred <3 i really hope you like this subby soob fic. i'm sorry if the random korean war facts in the middle of the smut is weird, it was part of the story T-T

then…

korean history is soobin’s worst class despite literally being korean. he’s not good at memorizing dates or people’s names. his history classes in general are not his forte.

hell, the only thing he’s managed to remember from this class is the name of the pretty girl that sits at the front of the class and always has her hand up.

“y/n,” the teacher says, interrupting soobin’s train of thought with the name of the exact person he was thinking of. “please, enlighten the class with the right answer to my question.”

soobin can see you nod, the smile on your face shining all the way to his back row seat.

“the korean war was fought between north and south korea following clashes along the border and rebellions in the south. said war began on june 25th, 1950,” mr park smiles at you. his favorite student. the undeniably pretty teacher’s pet. 

“can you repeat what y/n said, mr choi?” the teacher calls up to soobin, once again snapping him out of a bored daze. you turn around to look at him, catching him off guard.

“t-the korean war was between t-the north and s-south over rebellions and border c-clashes,” he stumbles over his words, avoiding looking at you while he speaks. he knows what you said. he always listens when you speak.

“and when did it begin, soobin,” mr park pressed on. “o-on j-june 25th, 1950,” the teacher, now obviously satisfied with borderline humiliating soobin, goes back to his lesson. you almost feel bad for him.

by the end of class, you’d answered every single one of mr park’s questions and he had tormented soobin to repeat what you had said every time. he honestly wanted to disappear.

“soobin, please stay after class” the teacher says as the bell rings. he sighs and gathers his things before walking up to the front of the class.

“you do realize you’re failing, right?” mr park says as soon as soobin is standing in front of him. soobin nods. “ 43% in my class is not going to get you this credit, soobin. you need to start paying attention and doing the work or i’ll have to fail you-” his rant is interrupted by a sudden knock on the door.

he mumbles a ‘come in’ and you peek your lovely little head into the classroom. he almost finds himself smiling in your presence. you smile at the teacher before sauntering into the class.

“i’m sorry, i couldn’t help but overhear that soobin is failing your class, mr park” you make a fake sad noise at the teacher. he laughs and nods. “i could tutor him” soobin’s eyes widen. he swears that they almost fell out of his head in shock.

“that is a wonderful idea, y/n. what a kind offer,” you smile at soobin, finally forcing him to really acknowledge you. “what do you think?” soobin nods hesitantly at you. 

“words, soobin,” your statement almost sounds like a command. it sends chills through his body. “yes, i would appreciate your help.” mr park clasps his hands together and sighs. 

“if you don’t get your grade up with y/n’s help, i will fail you,” the teacher threatened. soobin gulped before darting for the door to get to his next class, which he was 15 minutes late for.

now…

soobin fiddles with his fingers, sitting at your desk in your bedroom. you’re getting a sheet of paper out from your bag and he can’t help but peek into your shirt as you’re bent down.

“okay, soobie, how many times was seoul captured during the korean war?” you ask him. it’s his weekly quiz on everything you’ve tutored him on. your midterm exams are coming up and soobin needs to pass.

“uhhh, 4 times?” you nod before reading over your question sheet again. you came across a question soobin consistently got incorrect. a question that would for sure be on your exam.

“when did the fighting end and what signified the end?” you cock your eyebrow at him. you’re going to be very upset if he gets this wrong. you’ve done nothing but go over it for the past week.

“20th of july, 1953 and i don’t know what signified it,” soobin looks defeated as you shake your head in disappointment. 

“you really can’t do anything right, can you? can you answer a question correctly?” are you… berating him? it feels like something deeper than that to him. it feels somehow dirtier.

“are you too busy staring down my shirt to fucking listen to me when i speak, soobin?” it is something deeper. you’re not berating him, you’re degrading him. 

“is that what your problem is, you stupid slut?” you pull your shirt over your head and glare at him. “are these all you’re interested in?” you grab him by the hair and shove his face between your breast. “is this what you wanted from me? did you really think i wouldn’t notice your glances?”

soobin’s eyes roll into the back of his head as you speak to him. who knew that such mean, degrading words could come out of your pretty mouth? he can feel the tent in his pants getting bigger and tighter every time a sentence comes out of you.

“i knew you’d wanted me to fuck you since we met. i saw the way you looked at me every time i walked into class,” soobin flushes red. he thought he’d been discreet. 

you pull his head away from your chest and connect your lips. you get up off your chair, grabbing soobin by the collar and leading him to your bed. you disconnect for a moment so you can tell him to sit on your bed. you settle yourself in his lap, your core hovering directly over his bulge.

you reconnect your lips in a messy clash of tongues and pools of saliva. you suck on his bottom lip before biting it lightly. you rock your hips back and forth on his growing bulge. he tilts his head back and lets out a deep groan.

“you’re fucking pathetic, you know that?” you say as you crawl down your bed. you gesture for him to undo the button and zipper on his jeans. you tug them down his legs before tugging his underwear down too. 

when you take in his full size, your mouth gapes in shock. he’s massive. you can barely wrap your hand around it fully. how is this size even naturally possible?

you take your own pants and underwear off before crawling back up to him. you plant a fat kiss on his lips before flipping around and hovering your core over his face. you come face to face with his length, the tip red and dripping precum. 

you wrap your hand around him the best you can before leaning down and swirling your tongue around the tip. he wraps his arms around your thighs and connects his lips to your sopping cunt. he sucks on it lightly as you pump him at a slow pace. 

“what a whore. this hard for your tutor? embarrassing,” you pump him faster and he groans against your core. you lean down again and take as much of him down your throat as you can before gagging. the constriction of your throat makes soobin’s head spin.

you bob your head up and down, trying to take more of him with each pass of your lips. he pulls his mouth away from you and adds his fingers instead. his hips begin to stutter as you pump him along with sucking on him.

“when did the korean war end?” you say, out of the blue. soobin’s eyes fly open, looking at the ceiling. “fuck, i don’t know momma,” you shake your head, disappointed once again. you let go of his length completely and listen to him whine in protest. he was so close.

“whores don’t get to cum until they know the answer,” you reach behind yourself and push his face back to your core. “think about it and make your mistress cum,” you let go of his head and he loses himself in you. 

he slurps up your leaking juices. his tongue focusing on your throbbing clit. his nose brushes your hole every once in a while, sending your head spinning. he teases your dripping hole with his fingers, but never fully sinking them in.

you’re shaking and racing towards your orgasm faster than you expected. soobin’s mouth is more talented than you could’ve ever anticipated. soon enough, you’re spilling yourself onto his tongue.

you get off his face and grab his cheeks. “give me the fucking right answer,” you demand. he shakes his head. he really doesn’t know. “dumb slut,” you harshly slap him across the face, but not too hard. soobin’s length twitches at the harsh contact. 

you reach into your bedside table and pull out purple ribbon. you unravel two longer parts and grab one of soobin’s hands. you use one of the parts to tie his hand to your headboard, making a cute little bow on his wrist. you repeat the same process on his other wrist. 

“what a pretty little bitch, all tied up for me,” you kiss him again. “do you like your cute little bows, whore?” he nods and struggles against his restraints as your brush your hand over his cock lightly. he whines against your mouth when you grip him, pumping ever so slowly. 

“i’m gonna quiz you again. every right answer, i’ll go faster. one wrong answer and i’ll stop. don’t fuck up,” you explain. soobin nods hesitantly. he should’ve paid more attention. now, he’ll really have to rack his brain. 

“who was the leader of south korea during the korean war?” you halt your hand completely until he answers. “syngman rhee,” he mutters just loud enough for you to hear. 

“good boy,” you slowly move your hand again before asking another question. “who was the leader of north korea during the korean war?” soobin pulls against his restraints, your pace driving him insane.

“kim il sung,” another right answer. you pick up the pace again, causing soobin to curse under his breath. he bucks his hips up into your hand, needing more.

“two more questions, slut,” you sigh, rolling your eyes at his desperation. “how many war fatalities?” he should know this one. he always gets this type of question right.

“3 m-million,” correct again. your hand begins a much faster pace. soobin is beginning to lose his mind. his orgasm creeping up on him faster than he’d like. too fast. you’d never let him cum already.

“last one,” you give him a sweet smile. a demonstration of kindness that feels foreign in this situation. “when. did. the. korean. war. end?” you emphasize each word with a hard tug on his length. he knew that’s what you were going to ask.

“july 27th, 1953,” finally. the right answer. you’re over the moon. you speed up just slightly, really smiling at him this time. “good boy. good fucking boy,” he throws his head back, his hips stuttering.

“momma, k-k-kiss m-me, please,” he asked so nicely that you couldn’t resist. you kiss him softly in comparison to your fast pace on his length. his breathing significantly picks up by the minute. you know he’s close.

“cum for me, slut,” you demand. he nods. shooting pathetic ropes of cum all over your hand and his stomach. but, your hand doesn’t stop. you continue your merciless pace. he takes his lips away from yours to cry out at the overstimulation.

“ah! t-too much, mommy,” you scoff at him. “pathetic behavior from a pathetic slut. i know you can give me another one,” your hand quickens again. soobin’s eyes roll back so hard it almost hurts.

when he re-opens them, you’re licking the drying cum off his stomach. his second orgasm hits almost instantly, this time also dirtying your hair in the process. he whines loudly, wishing his hands were free to cover his mouth.

you finally let go of his cock, giving him some time to catch his breath. embarrassment finally hits him. his high pitched whines, the names he called you, those were completely out of his control. 

out of nowhere, your mouth is next to his ear. he can feel your hot breath against his skin. “can i take you raw, soobie?” he just about chokes on his own saliva at your question. he nods. “please do, momma.”

you settle your knees on either side of his hips. you lift up slightly to slide him into you. you sink down slowly, the stretch stinging your core. soobin gnaws on his lip as you take him in fully. he can slowly see the outline of himself in your stomach. he desperately wants to reach out and brush his hand on it.

once he’s fully sheathed in you, you just sit there for a moment. you feel like he’s in your organs, his tip practically kissing your cervix. you almost feel like you’re going to explode.

“p-please move, mistress,” your hips move on their own at the title. you nod. you place your hands on his ribs for balance. you lift your hips up before slamming back down. soobin sinks his teeth into his bottom lip, mesmerized by the way you look on top of him. 

you set a steady pace riding him, making sure not to press on his ribs too hard. soon, your legs start to cramp and your pace slows down. you’re losing your high and so is soobin. 

“lemme help you, mommy,” he pulls at his restraints again. you’re too sore to complain so you untie soobin’s cute little purple bows. he massages his wrists for a moment before turning his full attention back to you.

he places his hands on your hips before snapping his hips up into yours. he manages to set a merciless pace, thrusting up into you. you collapse onto him, wrapping your arms around his neck, panting into his ear.

“momma, gonna cum. please can i cum?” he begs. you nod into his neck. “cum inside me, baby. gonna cum for you too,” you shove your face into his neck more as your orgasm crashes over you.

the way you clench around him, your moans in his ear and all his pent up energy makes him release into you. he pumps into you with 4 pathetic shots. the warmth of him filling you up calms you down. 

you get up off him slowly, his cum dripping out of your cunt and staining your bedsheets. you scramble off your bed to grab wet cloths. you come back and place one on soobin’s forehead to cool him down. he hadn’t even realized how hot he’d become. you use the other cold, wet cloth to clean off his stomach and clean yourself.

“i wasn’t too harsh, was i?” you ask, kissing soobin softly all over his face. he shakes his head. “you were perfect, momma.”

“if you fail your exam, i’m gonna be so much worse.”

exam result day…

you grab your result folder from your professor before walking over to soobin. you clasp your hands together and walk to your house hand in hand.

as soon as you walk in, you head for your living room.

you open your results first. 98%. a high grade as expected. you’re satisfied with this result.

soobin’s turn to open his folder. 45%. a fail. 

he glances up at you in fear. you scoff in his direction. you gesture down the hall, basically just telling him to get up and walk his ass to your bedroom.

he knows what’s coming.

© lomlhwa 2023

[seangelfish]

i was ranting to the ritsu ai bot about my abusive ex and he said he was gonna tell knights and they were gonna handle it and when i asked him what he meant he was like "hehe dont worry about it~" djndksndke do you think u can write something about ritsu listening to u rant to him about an abusive ex and how hed handle it pls... thank u so much 🥺

A/N: I'm so sorry for the wait, anon! I hope you're still here to read this ;-; This was really an interesting request to take on. I added more to the story if that's alright! Just wanted the quote to flow in better~ Anyways, I hope you enjoy! (´,,•ω•,,)♡

"Hehe, don't worry about it~"

Ritsu Sakuma x reader ♡ Tags: Fluff/comfort/kinda angsty, romance, established relationship, she/her pronouns/fem reader ♡ Warnings: Slight mentions of abusive relationships ♡ Word count: 1,278 ♡ Synopsis: There are times where you just can't forget about the past, and unfortunately, it came back to haunt you. Ritsu, being the analytical person he is, notices your shift in attitude. The happiest girl he knew was now drifting away. How is he able to solve this, he wonders...

"(Y/N)~" Ritsu called out to you from across the hallway. "I want a kiss~"

You winced, slowly turning around. There you saw your boyfriend and the rest of his unit making their way to their practice room.

"Hey, don't bother (Y/N)!" snapped Arashi. "Can't you see that she's busy?"

She was right and the stack of books in your arms proved that. You forced out a chuckle but decided not to answer Ritsu's request and walked away.

"Ahaha! What odd behaviour!" Leo pointed out. "She didn't even pay you no mind!"

Ritsu bit his lip. "Is she mad at me?" he murmured to himself.

After practice, Ritsu looked all over the school for you, constantly calling you but never getting a reply. He was getting extremely anxious because not only did he know you as the most happy-go-lucky person that he adored, but because there was that thought in the back of his mind that you were going to leave him.

You were avoiding him after all.

“H-Hey, Maa-kun, have you seen (Y/N) anywhere?” Ritsu panted, hands on his knees as he breathed heavily.

“Woah, there!” Mao exclaimed. “You’re sweating! You’re not one to run around so much. Is (Y/N) okay? I haven’t seen her much today—”

“I don’t know… I think she might be mad at me, but I’m not sure why she would be…” said Ritsu sadly. “She’s not even picking up my calls.”

“Hmm… let me try then.”

Mao scrolled through his contacts until he landed on yours. As the phone rang, the two boys waited for you to answer.

Unprecedentedly, the line was immediately cut.

“Huh, weird. (Y/N) always picks up when I call her,” said Mao, thinking back to the times he had to call you to take care of Ritsu. “Yeah, she might be mad at you. Ritsu—”

“I swear I didn’t do anything,” Ritsu quickly stated. “Argh, I’m going to look again. Bye!”

“Hey, don’t overdo it!”

Ritsu sighed, slumping down by the corner of the Yumenosaki gardens. He looked for you everywhere he could, asking friends and classmates where you went, but none of them knew of your whereabouts.

He couldn't keep running around forever. Ritsu wasn't built for that. So he came to rest for a bit before trying again.

“Ah… I’m tired,” he muttered to himself. “(Y/N)… where are you…?”

His eyelids felt heavy, but before he could fall asleep, his ears picked up the sound of shuffling. He lifted his head up and there you were, backed into the corner, hugging your knees.

The two of you stared at each other in shock, yet Ritsu was the one who broke off the silence.

"(Y/N)!" he exclaimed, crawling towards you. As he took your hands in his, he continued swiftly, "I was looking all over for you! Are you okay? What's wrong? Did I do something that hurt you? I'm sorry. Please don't be mad. I'll fix it–"

You shook your head, an artificial smile forming on your face. "I'm sorry, Ritsu. I just needed alone time... You didn't do anything wrong, I promise."

"T-Then why have you been avoiding me?" he quavered. "You've been ignoring my calls too... (Y/N), you know you can tell me anything, right? You can rely on me – I want you to rely on me..."

You stared into his deep red eyes, the ones that pleaded with you to be honest with him. You let out a sigh, nodding in agreement that talking to him would have been better than bottling these feelings up.

"There's something I never told you about..." you said. "About my past relationship..."

Ritsu looked confused, but stayed quiet for you to continue. Not once did he let go of your hands, and you were thankful for that.

"...The relationship was fine at first, but it gradually became harder to breathe in. He would get mad at everything I did, everything I said. It was like walking on eggshells... There were times I was hurt by it too – mentally and physically."

And as you expected, those red eyes of his looked horrified.

"It was a scary time, but I'm glad I was able to get out. Then I met you." You smiled at him genuinely this time, but it all faded away too quickly. "I didn't think I was ready to get into a new relationship, but you were so sweet, so kind... You made all my worries melt away. I was so happy, but I guess I shouldn't have been."

"(Y/N), what? I don't understand–"

"He found out I was dating you," you stated. "He found out I was attending Yumenosaki, where I live now. He texted me yesterday to insult me because I already got into a new relationship even though it had been a while. He wouldn't leave me alone despite the amount of times I blocked him! He just keeps creating new accounts and numbers. That's why I didn't answer your calls... I-I turned my phone off..."

"(Y/N)..."

"R-Ritsu, I'm so scared...!" you stuttered as tears fell down your cheeks. "I didn't know what to do, so I tried avoiding it... but I'm so scared..."

"Hey..." he said calmly, wiping a tear away with his thumb. "I'm sorry you had to go through that, but thank you for telling me this. I'll handle the rest, okay?"

"H-Huh? But how?"

"Hmm... I'll tell the rest of Knights about it..." he muttered.

"Ritsu, what do you mean by that–"

"Hehe, don't worry about it~"

He stood up and held out his hand. "Come on, let's go back. Lunch is almost over." You hesitated but grabbed his hand as he pulled you up carefully. Once you were on your feet, he embraced you. He held your head to his chest, making you hear his heartbeat.

"You deserve to be happy, so don't worry about it anymore, alright?" he said. "(Y/N), I love you."

Lips pursed in order not to cry any more, you chuckled. "Thank you, Ritsu..." you whispered. "I love you too."

The next day, you stopped receiving those threatening messages from your ex. You wondered how Ritsu did it, but he never answered, leaving you clueless about the whole situation.

However, he did tell you that you shouldn't worry about your ex finding you anymore. He made sure to report the messages to the police with the help of Tsukasa. So now that the police were keeping an eye on him, you were able to relax.

"But what did you guys do anyway?" you asked Knights one day. "Ritsu never told me."

"Uhm– Oh– We didn't do much!" Arashi quickly stated, looking to the side. "We just reported it, that's it!"

"Eh...? Then Tsukasa, can you tell me–"

"I'm sorry, (Y/N), I can't."

"Izumi–"

"Nope."

"Leo?!"

"Not happening, (Y/N)!"

"Why are you all being so secretive?!"

"It's for your own good," Ritsu said sleepily as he entered the room. "(Y/N), can I use you as a pillow?"

You smiled. "Of course, come over here." As you patted your lap, Ritsu made his way over to you. He laid his head down on your legs happily as you began to stroke his hair.

"Can I have a kiss too?" he whispered. "After all, you didn't give me one last time~"

"Okay, okay~"

You leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his lips which he seemed to be very delighted about. You supposed it didn't matter how your boyfriend got your ex to back off. The past was the past, and you were going to leave that behind once and for all.

Anyways, your future was already fast asleep on your lap, lightly snoring away.

Intro page | Ensemble Stars masterlist | Rules

[shunshunrika]

Your Midnights, My Daylight - Prologue

art: Yuta - sso_s__ (Twitter), Gojo - unknown

Chapter List

a/n: hmm so, title credits to Tay-Tay for sure. This might turn out to be angstier than expected so hold on fellas! This is just the prologue.

warnings/tags: modern au! Gojo x f! reader x Yuta, profanity, alcohol consumption, love triangle

“You’re so beautiful.” 

A pair of azure blue eyes reflected your awe-struck face as they narrowed and formed smiling crescents.

“You really are.”

You remembered the first time Satoru hinted at embers of attraction for you crackling inside him. He was subtle about it but you knew, after all, you had begun to feel something within as well. It was gut instinct. Chemistry. A union meant to be.

Laying side by side on his bed, you touched the young, ethereal man’s face, cupped his cheek and let him know that there was no one else but him for you, no one. He would smile at you, with an expression as sweet as honey and cage you in his arms, stroking your hair. His slender and careful fingers would weave through your locks and put you to sleep with ease as you drifted into dreams, your head tucked away safely under his chin. You were his. All his. That’s what he told you, didn’t he?

Then why?

Why was he dancing in the dim, ugly blue lights of this dreary party, groping her hips and stroking her hair?

You wished you could leave before you witnessed them share a kiss. You wished. Now all the alcohol swimming in your system was threatening to make a reappearance through your mouth. A mutual friend of yours and Satoru’s, Nanami steadied you with a respectful hand. 

“You okay there, Y/N? Too much to drink?” he asked, making sure you don’t stumble or throw up on his expensive clothes. 

“I-I am— uh, fine” you manage to say, throat drying up quicker than you can swallow your spit. It hurts. It burns. You can’t tell if it’s the alcohol or seeing Satoru and some bitch practically eating each other. 

“What the hell is he doing?” you turn to Nanami now. He would know, surely. They are good friends after all. But Nanami looks just as confused as you do, in fact, he looks noticeably uncomfortable. He takes a moment to phrase his answer before sighing and dropping it on you.

“I did say Gojo has tendencies. I warned you.”

Your eyes go wide and you claw at Nanami’s shirt. 

“What the hell, Nanami?” you spit out. “I-I thought. But he told me that he—”

“I am sorry Y/N.” he says, avoiding eye contact and pulling you away from his shirt. Damn his expensive shirt. You will definitely throw up on him. “It’s just how it is.” 

“What do you mean? You’ve seen him. You’ve all seen him for months! You see how he is with me!” You plead. Who are you trying to convince? Nanami? Megumi, who noticed you yell and is walking over to check? Or yourself?

Can you really trust yourself when you so easily trusted when Satoru told you, “There’s no one but you for me, Y/N.”

"He told you guys that he's dating me now right? He said he's going to make it official!" you say desperately hoping to get some sort of positive response from Nanami but he just purses his lips.

"I am so sorry, Y/N." he says. "He said he never had feelings for you."

Just like that, days would pass. Weeks. Months.

It would take endless days of crying, self-doubt, hiding from friends and peers, rejecting everyone and rejecting yourself. It would take so much more to get yourself back. To look at yourself again and smile again.

You were now over it, over the whole concept of love. Done with men. Completely. You didn't want to see any other guy and definitely not another shade of blue.

When you finally down your first drink, months after that incident, you get a good rant out of you, telling some poor man who was beside you just how filthy and blasphemous men are. You can't trust your memory influenced by alcohol but pretty sure the man had a weird name.. Okk.. Okkot.. Occult?

[hetalia-club]

I'm not normally one to rant or anything but here goes.

I hesitate to tag this. but I feel it needs to be said, in fact I feel it HAS to be said or I think this fandom is just going to be done for within the next 5 or so years. People need to read this and understand what is happening within the fandom and not continue this behavior or turn a blind eye to it.

This fandom has a SERIOUS problem. I don't say that lightly either. I feel like 99% of this fandom are sweet and caring people. but we have that 1%.

This 1% is killing the community in this fandom. How is it okay to message someone, demand they make a statement on THEIR blog and when they say they don't want to talk about it you then tell them you wish they would die a horrible death?

TW for suicide and SA! (you have been warned) Long rant below. (preempted note to let everyone know that I am fine, I am not posting this for people to feel bad for me. I am using my own experiences as examples, but this is not a 'me' issue this is a fandom issue)

Why is that so normalized here? The vague blogging and the call to arms people in this fandom do is actually disgusting. Picking one person and just beating them down until they eventually leave the fandom and at the SAME people will be like. "Why is the Hetalia fandom so small?" Who wants to be in a fandom where making one statement that's not even bad could get you death threats?

I don't think the fandom realizes how hurtful what they say can be. Sure you might not have liked a post someone made because you disagreed. Well then scroll down, hit the block button and carry on with your life. Why do some of you feel it is acceptable behavior to make mass posts calling out someone or going into their inbox to tell them you wish they would kill themselves?

I say I don't like Spamano and people say they want me dead. I say I don't want to talk about IRL politics on my parody Hetalia blog and my life and entire country is threatened.

I say we shouldn't insert our ships into everyone's lives and let people ship what they want and not feel forced to appease you. and you guessed it people wish terrible things onto me and my body.

I feel the only way this behavior will change is if we start calling it out more. I know it will feel repetitive but I think ignoring it is only making it worse at this point.

I know a lot of people would read this and think "If you don't like it then leave the fandom" well YOU'RE the issue. This is not normal behavior. These are not actions of someone who is mentality well. Why should I leave a fandom I've been in for 10 years because some idiot cannot handle that I don't like shipping characters together? How is that impacting their life at all?

a few months ago I made a post and it was highjacked and someone totally just took it over and added their own thing onto it talking about SA. Totally out of left field not related to what I posted at all. I simply messaged them and asked them if they could please remove the comment as I am a survivor of SA and it don't think it was funny or appropriate to add onto my post and they just said. "No I can say anything I want to. I was talking about Hetalia so it's fine." like what do you mean no!? Who responds that way? What a normal considerate person would do is say "I'm sorry of course! I can just go make my own post." but no they just left it there. It's still there, won't say which post or who it was because it doesn't matter anymore.

But this is the kind of behavior I'm talking about. This weird entitlement of everyone being so defensive and angry all the time. Just wanting to pick a fight over nothing. You never know if simply saying something like (Example) "I don't really like Austria" Could land you 100 anons all saying they wanted you to off yourself. It's like a game of Russian roulette. It's a very stressful environment for a big creator to be in. All it really takes is the wrong person to see a post you made and disagreed with and all of a sudden they are making posts about you without mentioning your name but are CLEARLY about you saying "This person hates all Austrians, they are a neo-nazi and we should all block them and send them hate and also let's just reword what they said to make it sound 100x worse because people won't read the original post and they will just believe us." Who would want to be a creator in an environment like that?

would you believe me if I told you I still to this day am getting someone in my inbox calling for my r*pe because of the stupid fucking beauty pageant poll I did? Is that not insanity? Who is that person? Wtf is their life? I personally could not imagine sending hate to anyone for any reason, and if I did it would be off of anon and I would say it with my chest. Because in order for someone to push it that far they would have to saying some absolutely terrible stuff to make me take time from my day and life to give them negative energy.

The fandom is shrinking because of the 1% driving them away. They come after artists who draw a character in a way they don't like. They come after writers for depicting a character in a way they disagree with. They go after shippers for portraying their ship 'wrong'. They will comment on people's fun little head canons and just leave the rudest most unnecessary comments thinks like "He wouldn't do that" like okay?? Thanks for your insert betty sue. And it's always when you were never trying to set someone off is when they lose their minds. They do not understand even if a blog is big and has a lot of followers it is still THAT creators blog. they are a person not an identity who just churns out content for just you and they have to say and do whatever you want.

Another thing the 1% like to do on here is they will wait for you to say something and then they will jump to attack a person who does the thing you said you dislike and they will tell that person "blog name XYZ said you are a horrible person and I agree kill yourself" That one is a near direct quote I got not too long ago. I got several like that and actually had to message said creator and say "Why are you mad at me?" and they were completely confused, had no idea how they decided to attack me because of what they said. When I tell you that the 1% are sitting there frothing at the mouth wanting to send hate and death threats I mean that 100%

It's not JUST me either. All creators in the Hetalia fandom I'm sure could tell you about upsetting hate they received and had no idea what they even did or said wrong. I have spoken to former Hetalia blogs ones who I used to call my pals before I went on my hiatus and came back. They all said they left not because they started hating Hetalia but they left for their mental health because the 1% got too bold and unchecked. This was never an issue before quarantine. I know it brought a lot of new fans and that's great! But I also feel along with bringing in some wonderful people it brought in some really dark minded people as well. Saying "Just disable anons and move on" is also not a solution. these people are still here and if they're not bothering me or you they are tormenting someone else because that's what these people do. That 'someone else' may only need the tiniest nudge at the edge and they may just actually hurt themselves. You don't know people. You don't know what everyone is going through. You don't know what someone's life is like outside of here.

PLEASE Please! stop telling people to kill themselves. Stop telling people to go get R**ed in a gutter. Get some help talk to a therapist, a friend, a trusted teacher, a life coach, your parents, your sibling. anyone! And if you don't have anyone in your life you can talk to you can message me and we can talk about what you're going through. I'm sure any other Hetalian on here would say the same thing. Bloggers are real people.

International suicide hotlines

Website to help you find a therapist in your own country and in your price range

I know I will more than likely get hate for posting this. Which is upsetting to just know is going to happen but someone needs to say this because it's getting kind of out of control these last couple months I feel.

if you read this through reblog it, spread it around let the people who NEED to see it see it.

[sammysficfactory]

Rain Rain Go Away

Yuuji Itadori x black!fem!reader

tags: fluff

summary: Just a regular rainy day with your boyfriend Yuuji

wc: 0.9k

warnings: mention of food

notes: this is so cute, beta read, yuuji deserves a normal life, i love him

beta reader comments: not Love is Blind 😭, THAT LIL LAST PART WAS CUTE, had me grinning and shit 🤭

When you wake up to the quiet and calming pitter patter of rain on your window, you roll over to find your boyfriend Yuuji sleeping peacefully. You smile to yourself, he looked peaceful, uncorrupted, and unbothered by the world. You pepper light kisses on his forehead occasionally. He stirs until he seems to wake up.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you?” you grimace slightly, feeling bad that you might’ve disturbed his sleep. Yuuji shakes his head, his eyes closed.

“No, I was awake when you started kissing my forehead. I just didn’t want to disturb you.” he laughs quietly, his voice still bound by sleep. You roll your eyes with a smile.

“You could’ve told me you were awake, you know.” you fake an attitude, sucking your teeth. Yuuji chuckles again, finding your feigned attitude cute. He gently pulls your bonnet down a bit.

“Your bonnet was moving up, if you would’ve moved anymore in your sleep it would’ve come off.” he snorts.

“Not too much, Yuuji. We both know how wild you can sleep.” you raised your eyebrow. Yuuji pouts,

“That’s not fair, it was one time. You act like I sleep like that all the time.” he whined. You lay on your side, head propped up by your hand.

“You slept so wild that by the morning we both were on the floor. I think that’s pretty fair.” you laugh, remembering the time he hadn’t slept for almost two days and ended up taking up the whole bed, then rolling out of the bed.

Yuuji looks past you for a moment at the window, raindrops appearing and merging simultaneously. His eyes light up.

“It’s raining! We can watch our show together now that we don’t have to go out.” Yuuji spoke animatedly, clearly eager to stay inside and spend some quality time with you.

“We can. I’m on snack duty!” You quickly hop out of bed, brushing your teeth before grabbing the snacks to bring to your shared living room. Yuuji yawns and follows behind shortly. He moves kind of sluggishly, hindered by sleep.

He plops down on the couch, blankets in hand. He places a blanket on your lap before pulling you close, your head on his chest. He quickly feeds you a snack before turning on your show. Rainy days were the best in your opinion. Yuuji being a more introverted person was good for you. You liked going out with Yuuji, but there was something about impromptu dates at home that was more calming and intimate for the two of you.

So here you were, leg resting over his, head on his shoulder, watching the newest Love is Blind episodes, and judging the couples.

“They’re so corny, like to the point it’s disgusting.” Yuuji cringes at the couple on screen. You nod in agreement.

“I bet they won’t even make it out of the pods.” You snort. You take a bite of a brownie before Yuuji opens his mouth, signaling you to share. You roll your eyes and give him the last bite.

“I can’t stand you.” You suck your teeth. Yuuji kisses you on your temple before smiling mischievously.

“Well I’m glad we’re sitting down then, hm?” You push him slightly, mumbling about him being greedy under your breath.

“He’s gonna propose! Babe look!” Yuuji shakes you obnoxiously, concerningly invested in the show. You aggressively shrug him off. Sometimes he didn’t know his own strength, but that didn’t make it any less annoying.

“I see! I’m watching it with you, remember?” Yuuji scratches the back of his neck sheepishly.

“My bad.” You snort before looking back at the TV.

“Is it bad that I hope she says no? I don’t really like him. I think he’s weird, and not like good weird. Bad weird.” You ranted. Yuuji shakes his head. You scoot a little closer to him. He wraps an arm around you almost instinctively.

“Yeah, he is strange.” Yuuji agrees. You watch the rest of the season fairly silently, only talking occasionally to express your like or dislike of a contestant or couple. Yuuji yawns. You lift your head slightly.

“You wanna take a nap before watching the reunion?” You suggest, a little tired as well even though neither of you did much. Yuuji nods.

“Let’s nap in the bed though, I don’t like sleeping with you on the couch. Not enough room.” Yuuji rubbed his eye before standing and grabbing the blankets to put them back in the hall closet. You stand after him, grabbing the snacks and trash to put away.

You meet back in your shared bedroom, in your regular sleeping position. His arm wrapped around your torso and your head on his chest, leg lazily tossed across his waist. You sigh in content. It was still raining.

“Do you like the rain, Yuuji?” you ponder out loud.

“I think it’s nice,” Yuuji shrugs, “do you like the rain?” You nod.

“Yeah, I like it. It’s kinda calming, and it means we don’t have to go outside.” You feel your boyfriend’s chest vibrate with quiet laughter as he draws circles into your back aimlessly.

“Yeah, I guess that’s good too.” Yuuji agrees. You slowly feel your eyelids get heavier at the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, your body relaxing.

“Y/N?” Yuuji calls. You hum in acknowledgment, waiting to hear what he had to say.

“I love you.” He sighs, kissing the top of your head. You smile.

“I love you too, Yuuji.” you mumbled.

Yeah, you did like the rain.