#source: technoblade

[incorrectvtuberquotes]

Bettel: Lesbian rights? I will say that. You see, uh, back in high school when I didn't have a huge ego, a lesbian referred to me as "actually pretty funny."

[incorrect-web-novels]

Wei Wuxian: ...And that's how we get the information. It's advanced interrogation techniques.

Someone: That's just torture. You're just describing torture.

[incorrectjackboxquotes]

Jerri: *has trapped MM in a glass box filled with water to test that magic trick*

Master Mentalist: "I should have expected this. Well, this is the end for me."

Master Mentalist: *dramatically acts like he's drowning, despite clearly being fine.*

Jerri: *is done* "MM, can you just die?"

The others: *laughing*

Master Mentalist: "I'm kinda thirsty actually, hold on." *somehow WALKS OUT OF THE GLASS BOX*

Jerri: *stammers in confusion*

...

Jerri: "Have you seen how many hours this man has with magic?!"

Master Mentalist: *comes back with a glass of water, and just walks back into the box of water*

Schmitty: *laughing through tears* "He's got some water!"

Master Mentalist: "I had to take a break from drowning to drink a glass of water."

Jerri: "THAT DOESN'T MAKE SENSE!!!"

Master Mentalist: "Okay, have I drowned yet?"

[paradise0o0]

Anakin: People wonder how the Jedi are so calm while risking their lives for perilous missions.

Anakin: Actually, it becomes easier if you realize that most of your enemies are blind.

Anakin: They use echolocation, but they're also deaf.

Anakin: So, there is no threat in the first place.

[prankdoesincorrectquotes]

Acnologia @ God Serena: If you wish to defeat me, train for another 100 years

[incorrect-undertronic-quotes]

Zephyr: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean? Seth: It means i was second worst thing to happen to those orphans. Zephyr: but what’s the first worst thing? Seth: Seth: Zephyr, they… they weren’t always orphans.

[royalarchivist]

Technoblade: Before I get any comments from people saying, "Uh Technoblade– ☝️🤓 Actually I live in the San Francisco Bay area, and the weather here isn't as perfect as you say! I think you might be blinded by nostalgia–"

Technoblade: I'd just like to say that I am a perfectly objective source of information, how DARE you question me, get banned.

[ Full Transcript ↓ ]

—

Technoblade: You know, when I first got to college, I had a conversation with a local student where I mentioned I was from California, and they heard that and said, "Oh, you're from California? Have you ever been here during the winter?" and I said "Oh, no no, I haven't" and they just kinda like, stared at me in silence for a few seconds, and then just said: "Good luck!" And then moved on with the conversation like that wasn't the most ominous thing I'd ever heard in my life. What? What do you mean "good luck"?!

Technoblade: One time I went to Texas, sometimes I visited North Carolina during the summer, and I was like, "Why is it so hot here?" but I just figured, "You know what, it can't be this hot everywhere during summer, that'd be ridiculous! Why would anyone subject themselves to these conditions?"

Technoblade: I didn't realize that California was unusual. So you know, I'd listen to like– Sir Alliser Thorne in Game of Thrones rant about, "Oh, you don't know cold!" tellin' us about how, he had like, been in some blizzard– blizzard, and during like, sub-zero temperatures, and I'm sitting here like, "No, no, I- I'm pretty sure I understand what cold is, one time it dropped to 60 degrees Fahrenheit and I had to turn on my car's seat warmers. I'm pretty sure I understand man's epic struggle against nature."

Technoblade: Before I get any comments from people saying, "Uh Technoblade– actually I live in the San Francisco Bay area, and the weather here isn't as perfect as you say! I think you might be blinded by nostalgia–" I'd just like to say that I am a perfectly objective source of information, how DARE you question me, get banned.

[ Video: why is the midwest so cold help ]

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Peter: You're "the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans", what does that mean?

Wade: It means I was second worst thing to happen to those orphans.

Peter: But what’s the first worst thing?

[Awkward pause]

Wade: Peter, they... they weren’t always orphans.

Peter:

[diceskinstuff]

Hello everyone!!

I recently had a new kinfirm that is, unfortunately, also from the Dream SMP... C!Technoblade.

Yeah. The guy who blinded me in one eye.

In response to that, I filled out a kin intro template for Technoblade and Quackity. This serves as both a canoncall and an AMA, if you have any questions about either canon.

Have fun, people :)

[incorrectvtuberquotes]

[Scene: Kronii has just been introduced to Biboo Tax]

Kronii: I feel like my IQ is either too low or too high to understand this. I suspect it's the latter.

[pig-from-the-pits]

// I dunno guys... I MIGHT be a big technoblade fan, but its kinda had to tell...

[incorrect-web-novels]

“I don’t do friendship. I’m allergic to friendship. I will die.”

- Shen Qingqiu

[incorrect-zombieland-saga-quotes]

Kotaro: "Hey, do any of you know how to render?"

Yugiri: "I can render my enemies immobile."

Kotaro: "I meant 3D computer renders but I'll keep you in mind for future reference."

[cornerdreams-txt]

fire's light. | a historian and his crow

word count: 625

pairings: fitza , emduo

notes: listen to sailor song while reading for the effect i had while writing :) phil is pretty and fit has a staring problem. also techno is there and He Knows.

warnings: animal death. rip random seal, you were needed for food and also as a metaphorical peace offering Prayge

[funnyao3]

"Stranger things could be true," Phil said cryptically - because he was old and dried up and saying cryptid bullshit was probably his favorite hobby or something.

[kinhelp-permitoffice]

dear philza minecraft,

as your favorite child i am bein called upon to summon you on behalf of myself and my weird brothers. please hurry, tommy is attempting to infect us all with Sick again. they're constantly sabotagin me and it's very disrespectful.

(kin/introjects welcome, 18+ only, any source alright) (please reach out to me on discord at neotericwilds)

best, techno

Hope you find who you're looking for!