#specifically from betraying ones own values

[dreamingkatfish]

100% spoilers this time. And also there's blood.

The text post this is quoting is just 100% their ship dynamic to me. And we're ignoring the quality, I am still sick.

[virfujiwara]

Any The Book Of Life (2014) enjoyers here? Ramble in the tags lol Reminder that commissions are open and I'm making art for your donations and we are raising money for an AAPI charity through this zine, if you or someone you know likes Watcher, check it out!

[crookedfandomquill]

This is very situational, and sadly may not be realistic for everyone, but I need y’all to understand that a very important part of political activism is fucking talking to your conservative or moderate friends and family.

My dad voted for Trump in 2016. He’s a middle class white evangelical from Arkansas. He raised me with conservative Christian values, just like his parents raised him. When he voted Trump, he was holding his nose, but he didn’t feel too bad about it, and went on to vote red down the ticket in the 2018 midterms, as well.

But I started college in 2017. Higher education and independence changed everything for me, and I went home over holidays and summers with fire in my belly and a thousand arguments ready at the drop of a hat, to my father’s dismay.

I remember crying in my room after emotional, intense arguments with him. I told him over and over that I felt betrayed by his choice to vote for a man who admitted to sexually assaulting women, who built his platform on dehumanizing immigrants and the disabled, who spread overtly-racist rhetoric, who flouted the values of kindness and self-discipline that I’d been raised on. And my dad always had some justification about the “greater good”: fighting against abortion, bolstering the economy, getting other Christian politicians into office.

But over time, as we grew further apart and I lost my will to discuss anything with him at all, he softened. He started asking me why I thought the way I did about the things we disagreed about. He would listen to my answers without interruption, and mull them over afterward instead of expressing his own opinion. And all the while, he watched the Trump presidency become cruel and absurd and devastating.

The first time he openly expressed regret to me, I had come home for a weekend after Kavanaugh was confirmed to SCOTUS. My dad realized he had helped elect a man who preyed on women… and that man had opened the door to more predators. I can’t tell you what it felt like for him to admit that he’d made a mistake, not just in voting for Trump but in defending him for so long. We kept arguing, but it was more debating than fighting. I knew he was capable of seeing my side of things, even if it took a while, and he knew I wasn’t just a sensitive college student with shallow new ideas about the world.

And then 2020 hit. Specifically, George Floyd was murdered, and the events that followed played out on the national stage. My dad was incredibly shaken by it. He asked me if I had any books from college about racial issues. I loaned him The New Jim Crow, one of the required readings for my Race and the Law class. Then I gave him Just Mercy. Then he watched the documentary 13th. Then he joined a racial harmony group he learned about through one of the few Black families at our church and insisted our whole family come. He held up signs at a protest against Confederate monuments in our conservative southern town. In three years, he went from defending Trump’s comments about “Black-on-Black crime” to publicly advocating for racial justice and opposing the death penalty.

We went together to vote in the 2020 primaries. I couldn’t help asking who he’d voted for; I didn’t even know if he’d asked for the Republican or Democratic ticket. He admitted he’d voted for Bernie. fucking. Sanders, then made me promise not to tell my grandma he’d voted liberal. When the election rolled around in November, he voted Biden. I’m sure he held his nose to do it, just like he held his nose voting in 2016. But I know he doesn’t regret it.

I am, of course, unbelievably lucky to have a parent who loved me enough, and was empathetic enough, to choose his relationship with me over his strongly-held opinions. He kept searching for truth because, as much as he’ll deny it, he’s a very smart and curious person. No degree of intelligence or curiosity makes you immune to propaganda, especially if you were raised not to question the party line. It’s easy to dismiss our conservative, conspiracy-pilled loved ones as stupid, hypocritical, and cruel. Sometimes they are. But sometimes they aren’t. Sometimes they will bend to keep their relationships from breaking. Sometimes, if they can be made to understand that their beliefs and actions are harming someone they love, they will make concessions. And sometimes they just need one person in their life to put a foot down, to be vulnerable and assertive and argumentative, to bring the impact of their politics close to home.

As the most important election of our lifetimes approaches, do not put peace over progress. If you have someone like my dad, someone who is good-willed and smart and loves you more than their own opinions, tell them how you feel. Tell them what their choices will mean for you, for your friends, for your community. Tell them what they could lose: your trust, your affection, your respect. Don’t avoid conflict if it could be productive. Because my conflict with my dad didn’t just win him over–it won over my moderate mom and one of my conservative brothers. And it put us in community with other like-minded people and led my parents to a healthier and kinder faith.

All of this to say, there is hope in conflict. There is hope in our relationships with people who think differently from us. There is hope in exposing your fear and anger and pain to people you love. And hope is a form of activism.

[cultkinkcoven]

Things Lord Lucifer would like beginners to know

I original made this post on reddit, but I thought it relevant to post here too. I’ve spoken about some of this stuff on my page already but a little reminder never hurts.

This is in no way a comprehensive list, these are just things he has expressed to me over time that he would appreciate me sharing with others.

1. Lucifer will never approach two different people in the same way.

Lord Lucifer, unlike some other deities or spirits, is extremely in tune to human psychology and will manifest to each human in a very personal way. He will intentionally take a form that communicates something very specific to you, he will utilize your fears, dreams, and the things you do not yet know about yourself to make himself known to you. To me, Lucifer has appeared in a variety of forms depending on the context. Sometimes he appears as a young human man with black hair and blue eyes. Sometimes he appears as an older man with blonde hair and red eyes. Sometimes he appears completely inhuman, like a serpent, a dragon, a raven. Sometimes he appears like a garden, or a planet, or a mountain. All of these forms are used to communicate different things. An older Lucifer is meant to communicate how ancient he is. When he appears as a planet or mountain, he’s communicating how gargantuan he is, a serpent to communicate how subtle, sneaky, and manipulative he can be. Don’t be all too surprised if he appears very differently than he did yesterday.

2. Lucifer really despises begging.

This was something he made clear to me right away. Do not beg Lucifer to manifest, do not beg him to pay attention to you, he hates it. It’s okay to be genuine and express how much you may need him for whatever you’re doing, or to want to be recognized. But do not beg for him to appear as if you were a peasant begging for food. You are a sovereign in your own right, you have every right to a response, you are important and worthy enough to be in his presence. Act like it. Do not grovel and beg him to have pity on you. Absolutely show respect and gratitude. But do not act like you’re “so lucky” that he’s paying attention to you.

3. On the same note, self degradation is a big no no

Beyond just talking down to yourself, Lucifer hates people who fish for compliments. If you’re constantly calling yourself ugly, Lucifer isn’t going to be the one to reassure you that you’re pretty. Sure, he can definitely be the one to give you a little extra confidence, he gives me compliments all the time. But if you degrade yourself enough times, he’ll start to agree with you. Yeah, you are ugly. He’s not going to give in and shower you with the compliments you’re looking for. A large part of this journey with him is finding our own power and confidence. You’re preventing him from doing his job any time you degrade yourself. And if you’re preventing him from doing what he was created to do, then he’s going to start ignoring you.

4. If you think you know everything you’re already wrong

You will always be a student, regardless of how long you’ve been practicing or how mature you are in that practice. When you assume you know and have done everything, you cut yourself off from the possibility of learning more. There is always something new to be learned, and you will be forced to change your mind and evolve. You will never be done learning from him.

5. He doesn’t demand loyalty, but he definitely appreciates commitment. He will not trust you if you do not trust him.

Lucifer is the morning star, but he is also the mourning star. He is an entity that has been betrayed and has lost companions time and time again. He is very used to his followers eventually leaving him and going on to do something else. He’s not going to demand you devote your eternal soul to him if that’s not something you actively and passionately want to do. He greatly values loyalty and commitment, he wants followers that are going to stick with him through this life and beyond, and he will reward his followers that remain loyal to him. But unless you are truly, and I mean seriously and truly willing to devote your life to upholding his principles, *do not* say you will. Your word is bond, and to betray your word means it is worth nothing. If you go back on your promises, he isn’t going to hurt you for it, but he’s also not going to trust you and he is not going to prioritize you.

6. Morality is a human concern. It is your job to define your boundaries, not his.

You need to be very aware of your boundaries and limits before you reach out. Lucifer is not going to be the one to discourage something because it’s mean, immoral, or illegal. It is your responsibility as the human to have morals that you can remain firm on, regardless of if Lucifer himself disagrees or not. Murder and animal abuse are off the table for me. I don’t care what the ritual calls for, I am not going to kill a cat or hurt a child. It’s not Lucifer’s responsibility to ensure that I have good morals, it is mine.

7. He will test your boundaries and convictions, he isn’t always being serious.

Connected to the last point, Lucifer will mess with you just to test how firm you are in your morals. He will say things he doesn’t agree with, just to hear you justify your reasons for believing what you believe. If Lucifer tells me I have to hurt a child for him, it is my job to put my foot down and say no. You are allowed to disagree with Lucifer, in fact sometimes he will force you to. He finds it very admirable when someone is able to hold their ground against him. He will force you to reaffirm what it is that you believe and why you believe it constantly. If he says something heinous, and you truly disagree but meekly agree just to appease him, he will know your will is fragile. You do not have to appease Lucifer. Remain true to yourself.

8. Lucifer does not know shame nor will he reject you because you did something wrong.

Just be honest. Don’t lie and don’t try to hide it, he can see everything. If I make a mistake or resort to some behaviour I am ashamed of, I can always rest assured that Lord Lucifer will help me approach it with unconditional acceptance. He will not cringe or turn away from your most repressed parts, he will help you acknowledge them and move forward. Having the strength and bravery to say “I know that I shouldn’t have done this, and I need help to ensure it doesn’t happen again” is far more admirable than hiding it and running away. You need to be willing to admit when you’re wrong and ignorant so you can be given the tools to grow and get right.

9. Please experiment

This was one of the points he stressed the most. Stop asking for permission and just do it. Maybe it’ll work out and maybe it won’t. As a God of Enlightenment, Lucifer is most excited by the pursuit of knowledge. That sometimes means failing. Before you ask someone else if Lucifer likes a certain offering, just try giving it to him. He prefers when his followers learn from experience rather than just following the advice of others. “Will Lucifer like it if I-?” Maybe! “Will Lucifer be offended if I-?” Ask him! “Is it okay if I-?” Who knows! Try it out and record your results.

10. Worship yourself above all else, but leave room for empathy.

“Empathy is the greatest tool of intellect. In order to understand oneself they must first understand the world that created them, and the people who created the world. Once they understand the people who created the world, they can begin to change themselves, other people, and the world.”

- Lord Lucifer

Above all else you should be honouring yourself and treating yourself as divine. However, do not forget that every other human you share this Earth with is also just as divine as you are. The goal isn’t to become a narcissist or to think you’re better than others. Understanding how your actions impact others and being able to empathize with their experiences is essential to spiritual enlightenment. Learn from others, continue to seek knowledge from unexpected places, and do not ever turn your back on humanity.

11. These things take time. Consistency is key

Try to get to a place where your rituals actually become *rituals*, things you do routinely every day until you don’t even have to think about it anymore. If you’re working on mantras or enns, say them while you doing something you do every day like showering. You’re not going to have that breakthrough right away, you’re not going to see results right away. Part of the commitment of the Luciferian path is patience. Some things can only be understood in retrospect. Don’t rush anything.

12. He’s a therapist.

He will make you cry, he will make you remember things you’d rather forget. He will make you aware of all of the factors and childhood experiences that have made you the person you are today. Your locked box is now open, there is no secret he does not know, no fetish or fixation he hasn’t seen. Let him help you. His goal is to make you aware and give you the tools to change.

13. Talking shit about other Gods, angels, spirits, or religious will not gain you points with him.

Lucifer is in many contexts considered to be a separate entity than the biblical Satan. He doesn’t care about Christianity or Abrahamic religion and its followers, and he gets bored extremely fast when people assume he wants to participate in complaining about Christians all day. Don’t get me wrong, he does at times get agitated by organized religions and the way they have historically suppressed knowledge and freedom, he doesn’t agree with the biblical doctrine, he’s not a fan of the church, he doesn’t necessarily like or agree with the Abrahamic God, and you might catch him throwing some shade from time to time. But he also doesn’t have a great hatred towards that God or his people either, in fact I’d say he is largely apathetic. He despises spiritual slavery, supremacy, and the doctrine that dominates Christianity. But to actively hate God or religion would be to allow them to have power over him. That power would inform his decisions, it would control him. Lucifer does not care enough to shit talk angels, nor will he encourage you to spend your precious minutes ranting about Christians. His philosophy with me has always been “forgive God and move on.” Do not forgive out of righteousness or kindness. Forgive so you can no longer be controlled by your hatred. This doesn’t mean be complacent or nice for the sake of being nice. When you see injustice, call it out. But don’t obsess over a religion you’re not apart of and a God you don’t worship.

14. Bigotry is a huge turn off

Lucifer is the God of liberation. He is the lord of the liminal, the atypical, and the rejected. If you hold any kind of belief that places one human below another, he’s really really not going to entertain it. It doesn’t matter what kind of discrimination it is. Racism, homophobia, transphobia, islamphobia, antisemitism, fatphobia, ableism etc. He doesn’t care. Lucifer truly values diversity and appreciates those who have been hated the most. He is a God of the minority, and he holds the greatest solidarity with those whom society has outcasted. The queer, the freak, the insane and the obscene, Lucifer is the patron of. If you see those who are different than you as lesser than, if you reject the immense diversity of the human race, and if you look down upon others because they are too weird, or too difficult to understand, Lord Lucifer is not going to take you seriously at all.

15. Say thank you

Lucifer likes recognition. If you’ve recently received some blessing that you think came from him, some kind of recognition or thank you is appreciated.

I think that’s it! These are all the major things we’ve discussed most recently and have remained consistent in all the conversations I’ve had with other Luciferians. Lord Lucifer is an incredibly patient and truly wonderful presence in my life and I hope the same is true for you! Ave Lord Lucifer and Hail Thyself!

[saphronethaleph]

He's the Calm One

“Give yourself to the dark side,” Vader advised, as he stalked through the darkened areas of the throne room. “It is the only way you can save your friends. Yes, your thoughts betray you. Your feelings for them are strong. Especially for…”

He paused.

“Your sister,” he said, interested. “So, you have a twin sister. If you will not turn to the Dark Side, then perhaps she will!”

“No!” Luke shouted, springing out of cover, lightsaber held ready.

Vader moved his own blade in a block, then stopped a moment later as he realized Luke wasn’t actually attacking.

“You mustn’t make her turn to the Dark Side,” Luke said, voice laced with urgency.

“I must not?” Vader asked. “That is not up to me-”

“No, father, that’s not what I mean,” Luke replied. “It’s a matter of safety. Personal and… galactic.”

Vader’s expression did not change, because he was wearing a helmet.

“You realize that I have no idea what you are talking about,” he said. “Who is your sister?”

Luke paused.

“Leia,” he said. “You should know that, father. Maybe now you’ll understand.”

Vader’s helmet tilted slightly.

“What?” he asked. “I never felt a thing. Her emotions never betrayed her.”

“She didn’t know,” Luke pointed out. “I didn’t know until you told me.”

“Still…” Vader mused. “The Force can be strange… but you seem insistent on keeping your sister from the Dark Side.”

“You’ve met her, haven’t you?” Luke asked.

Vader paused, giving that due consideration.

“...I suppose she would probably be suited to the Dark Side,” he said. “She would make a good apprentice.”

“You’re not listening,” Luke complained. “She would be a terrible person to have as an apprentice in the Dark Side of the Force, specifically.”

Vader attempted to glare at Luke. “You fail to understand the value of passion to the Dark Side.”

“Why have you stopped fighting?” Palpatine demanded, from the other side of the throne room.

“We are having a moment,” Vader called back. “I am attempting to turn Luke to the Dark Side by using his family members against him.”

“Very well!” Palpatine said. “Continue! That usually works.”

Vader inclined his head, slightly, the only sign of what was probably a frown under his helmet.

“I may need to think about that,” he said, under his hissing breath, then returned his attention to Luke.

Who was gesturing for emphasis.

“Maybe I’m not getting this across properly, Father,” he said. “But perhaps… you sent Han to Jabba the Hutt, didn’t you? You knew him?”

“I do not know Jabba the Hutt, son,” Vader retorted, his voice dark with rage. “I know who Jabba the Hutt is. But I fail to see the relevance.”

“As part of the plan to rescue Han, she got captured,” Luke explained. “Jabba chained her up and made her a dancing girl. The moment I began to fight during the rescue, she cut the lights and strangled him with that very chain.”

He stared into the eyes of Vader’s helmet, unblinking and unbowed. “Do you understand, Father?”

Vader considered that, then nodded, very slightly.

“I begin to see your point,” he said. “Damn.”

“If Leia turned to the Dark Side and was made an apprentice to you or the Emperor, it would be extremely bad for the health of everyone inside this room,” Luke summarized. “And also for the galaxy, more generally, though it would at least be run efficiently.”

“The Emperor has brought order to the galaxy,” Vader said, in a sort of distant voice like he wasn’t fully paying attention to the conversation.

“Have you seen how much he’s spent on pointless superweapons that get blown up by the Rebellion?” Luke shot back.

Vader held up his free hand, and for a moment Luke wondered if his father was about to use the Force… only for it to mean nothing more than a request that Luke be silent for a moment.

“...humour me, son,” Vader said. “What, exactly, is your plan here?”

“With surrendering myself to you?” Luke asked, and got a slight nod. “I hoped to be able to convince you that you’d done something wrong, and that you could realize that there was still good in you. That you were not trapped in the Dark Side, and could – if you truly wished it – return to the side of good.”

He paused. “...I will say, Obi-Wan and Yoda both told me it was impossible.”

“They do that,” Vader said, still sounding distracted. “And my daughter was raised by Bail and Breha, and she ended up… hm.”

“...Father?” Luke asked, after several seconds of silence had elapsed.

“I am just realizing that you are, apparently, Padme’s child of the two of you,” Vader said. “She killed Jabba the Hutt? Really?”

“Really,” Luke agreed. “Since you send Han to Jabba, we came up with a plan.”

He twirled his lightsaber. “First, I gave Jabba the droids C-3P0 and R2-D2, after concealing my lightsaber in R2. Then Leia turned in Chewbacca for the bounty, while disguised as an Ubese, and threatened to set off a bomb. Finally I came in to ask politely for Han’s release, offered Jabba one last opportunity to free us while about to be thrown into the Pit of Carkoon, and when he refused I killed… about half of Jabba’s entourage. Leia got Jabba and the other half when she rigged his sail barge to explode.”

“...this is a new feeling,” Vader said, almost to himself. “This must be paternal pride. Damn.”

“Have you turned him yet?” the Emperor called, waspishly.

“I’m working on it!” Luke called back.

Vader missed a breath, then his respirator worked overtime to recover.

“I still want to turn my daughter to the Dark Side,” he said, once he’d recovered. “But mostly to find out what would happen.”

“Fair,” Luke admitted. “I’m curious as well, but I don’t want to be in the blast radius and I’m fairly sure the entire galaxy would be the blast radius. Even if we were both trained Jedi I’d insist on being the one who came along, because I’d rather see you alive instead of a sort of faint ozone sheen in the air.”

“What is taking you so long, Vader?” Palpatine demanded, stalking over. “By this point, someone in this room should be dead. This delay is entirely tiresome!”

“All right,” Anakin replied, and pushed Palpatine off the bridge.

“...do you think that counts as dark side or not?” he added, glancing at his son. “I’m genuinely not sure, he was a very old man…”

[starcurtain]

Female Guidance in Aventurine's Life

One thing I haven't seen discussed in much depth yet, but which I think is especially interesting, is the consistency of female guidance in Aventurine's life: Every single person who we have seen on screen offering Aventurine assistance or making a positive difference in his life is female (with one exception, yes, I'll get there).

Under the read more cause it's longggg:

Before even diving into his family, let's just get the obvious out of the way: Aventurine is, at least supposedly, blessed by a goddess. The very origin of his good fortune--be it actual blessing or curse--comes from the literal "mother goddess" who watches over him. This is one of the only instances in Star Rail where a god character is specifically given a gender, and Gaiathra is not ever ambiguous. She is the classic female fertility goddess with all the trappings of other famous triple goddess figures of the real world. Aventurine's personal belief in the goddess may be shaky, but he nevertheless continues to treasure his people's faith. Thus, at the core, we can say Aventurine is a character who is guarded by the most quintessential mother figure possible.

Now, with the most obvious out of the way:

We know that Aventurine's father died before Aventurine was even born, and therefore he would not have any memories of his father, leaving him to be raised by his mother and sister.

Both women clearly made an enormous and lasting impression on Aventurine; they haunt every single one of his memories of Sigonia and are the key elements of the family Aventurine longs to return to. While he flirts with the concept of death as a way to see his family members again, it was also his mother and sister who instilled in him any sense of self-worth and meaning to his existence, the only things keeping him from giving up on living. His mother believed him to be blessed; his sister insisted to his face that not even the only remaining remnant of their mother had any value in comparison to his life.

It is for his sister that Aventurine first begins expressing a self-sacrificial nature, and from his sister that this self-sacrifice is reinforced when she uses herself as a shield to help him escape massacre at the hands of the Katicans.

It is also from his sister that Aventurine learns many of the deeply meaningful actions he holds onto to the present day, despite having been so far removed from his own culture.

Conversely, every one of Aventurine's early negative experiences on screen appear to have been driven (at least primarily) by men.

Although the Katican tribe of course would have both men and women, the tribal societies on Sigonia appear to be on the fairly traditional side, with Aventurine's mother staying at the camp with her child while his father was the one to go out and hunt for offerings for Gaiathra. This is also supported by Aventurine asking Jade to take him to her "chief" later on. Therefore, it is likely (although of course not guaranteed) that a majority of the Katicans' army was male, and that Aventurine's early experiences with outsiders consisted almost entirely of indiscriminate pillaging and massacre at the hands of what the Avgin viewed as savage, invading warriors. In separate instances, Aventurine was traumatized by these warrior figures three times--first with the loss of his father, then his mother, and then finally his sister.

And even their hope, supposed to come in the form of the "men in black" from the IPC, completely abandoned them, leaving Aventurine once again betrayed by masculine figures that were supposed to be there to protect him. Led by Oswaldo Schneider, another cruel male authority figure, the Marketing Department of the IPC permitted the wholesale slaughter of Aventurine's people--something which we know Aventurine is now aware of.

Then, of course, the next piece of Aventurine's backstory we're given is his male slave master. I don't really need to say anything about this, do I? This man violated Aventurine's human dignity and bodily autonomy, and forced Aventurine's hand in a life or death battle for which Aventurine still punishes himself mentally, even years in the future.

In part to escape the difficulty of his situation and rise to a position where he would have enough resources to--he thought--help his people, Aventurine joins up with the IPC. But when he attempts to make contact with a powerful man in the organization, Diamond, he is instead met by a woman, Jade, who against Aventurine's own expectations determines that she will raise Aventurine up (or use him as a tool, depending on how you currently choose to interpret Jade's motivations), granting him wealth and status beyond his imagination.

(And this line in particular is interesting, because you can take it one of two ways: 1) Aventurine comes from a patriarchal planet that traditionally put men into positions of power [thereby making his own slavery an emasculating act, aligning him further with disenfranchised women]; thus, he is making the assumption that to get anywhere in this organization, he will need to work with a man; or 2) He actually was counting on Jade taking his bet and helping him right from the beginning, because Aventurine perceives women as inherently more likely to protect and aid him than men would be.)

In the end, Jade does exactly as she claims she will, launching Aventurine into a position of power while also closing golden handcuffs around his wrists. She positions herself not only as his supervisor, but as his advocate and ally. She entrusts him with her Cornerstone, a sign of significant faith in his abilities. She even seems to be keenly aware of his bias towards the mother figure, referring to him as "child" in their conversations.

Whether this is genuine or a manipulation tactic can certainly be debated (and I'm not inclined to think at this point that Jade is a genuinely good role model or selflessly supportive person in Aventurine's life), but whatever the case, women are the only people Aventurine even remotely considers to be "in his corner."

We see this even earlier, in Aventurine's call to Topaz. Like with the example of his mother and sister, Aventurine trusts in Topaz's ability implicitly, and considers her above anyone else when it comes to completing the mission in Penacony.

Although of course we don't know if Aventurine has any other friends or allies among the Strategic Investment Department, it seems very likely that Topaz, yet another woman, is the one he is closest with. At the very least, she is the only IPC character (so far) that Aventurine has a complimentary voice line for, one that shows his respect for her talent:

Over and over again, the story aligns Aventurine with female figures in positions of authority, and demonstrates that he is comfortable (although maybe not too comfortable, in the case of Jade) with relying on them and trusting their judgment, just as he did with his mother and sister.

And this pretty much goes off the charts in Penacony, where Aventurine has more involvement with the female cast than virtually any other non-female character (even the Trailblazer!). We set the pattern off right away, with Aventurine immediately being placed into a negotiation situation with Himeko, respecting her role as the Express's leader and working to get himself aligned with the Express by acquiescing to her request for support.

Then there's the fact that Aventurine is the one who finds Robin's body, an event which, although he didn't let it show too much, was almost certainly traumatic for him, given the violent death of his own sister.

Next, twice in Penacony's story, we see Aventurine seek out Sparkle for information. He may not personally like her and her comments may be both racist and dehumanizing, but Aventurine does rely on her--being the only character explicitly seeking her aid, which no one else in Penacony seems to want.

In 2.0...

And in 2.1.

Now, say it with me, guys: Aventurine built an entire portion of his grand plan around the idea that if he looked pathetic enough, a female character would absolutely come and help him. And sure enough, the women come through for him, always! Sparkle gives him the exact last clue he needs to confirm his belief that he could use "Death" to reach the true Penacony, sealing the deal for the rest of his plan.

His plan which also hinged significantly on Black Swan's involvement too, another woman that he views as, if not trustworthy, then at least intelligent and hyper-competent.

Contrast all this, of course, with the treatment Aventurine receives at the hands of Sunday, the lone opposing male character he faces in Penacony.

Sparkle implies that Sunday would humiliate Aventurine in an unmistakably sexual and degrading way, and Sunday himself professes this same desire to see Aventurine humiliated.

Then we're "treated" to the moment in which Sunday uses the Harmony's (or perhaps actually the Order's?) power against Aventurine, in a scene which is supposed to reflect an interrogation but is also, very clearly, another nonconsensual violation of Aventurine's bodily autonomy and dignity by a man. While ostensibly seeking confirmation of the Cornerstone ruse, Sunday instead subjects Aventurine to unnecessary questions about his past on Sigonia, which recall and force Aventurine to re-endure memories of his trauma.

Even if this is what Aventurine prepared himself for and planned to have happen, the pain he experiences is very real, and he suffers both the physical and emotional consequences of Sunday's assault all the way up to his "Death" and possibly even beyond.

(Also, Sunday fans please don't get too up in arms with me for this; I also like Sunday! It's okay for characters to be morally grey!)

I think there's one other interesting example I would bring up here too, and that's Aventurine's conscious decision to weaponize his own masculinity against the Trailblazer. Through the 2.0 and 2.1 Trailblaze missions, Aventurine deliberately acts in an off-putting manner to the Astral Express crew, particularly the Trailblazer, in order to build up to the 2.1 climax where the Trailblazer is supposed to view him as an unrepentant villain and attack him without hesitation.

In order to achieve this uncomfortable, villainous effect, what does Aventurine do? Exactly what other men have done to him.

This is especially apparent if you're playing Stelle because of the ingrained societal taboo of a man entering a woman's personal space without consent, but even as Caelus, it is very clear that Aventurine is leveraging behaviors typically used to show dominance: In a complete 180 to all Aventurine's other body language in the game (normally quite withdrawn, frequently in defensive postures with his arms crossed or hand behind his back, almost always standing several feet away from other people), Aventurine violates the Trailblazer's personal bubble, looming over them (Caelus was sitting in this cutscene, lol), forcing eye contact, and commanding the space while informing them that they will have no choice.

For someone who was hunted, enslaved, had his movements restricted with chains, and due to his own slight stature has very likely been towered over by others who were intentionally asserting their power over him all his life, it is clear that Aventurine associates dominant, typically more masculine-coded physically-imposing behaviors with discomfort and even villainy.

Any girl who has ever had a man loom over her like this will realize very quickly: Aventurine wanted to make himself scary so he made himself act more like a bad man.

(Yes of course I know "not all men." I'm not saying every man behaves in this domineering way or that women cannot be domineering too, obviously, just that Aventurine had a very specific image in mind when constructing a "villainous persona," and the physically controlling tactics most typically used by aggressive men toward women was his immediate go-to.)

But where does that leave Dr. Ratio, the one male character actually on Aventurine's side?

Frankly, I don't want to derail my post about how intensely Hoyo chose to hammer on the message of "Women will protect you" in Aventurine's story with a discussion about a mlm ship, but the take-away here is going to lead in that direction anyway--so yes, Dr. Ratio is the exception.

What is interesting is that he does not come across as an exception at first, and in fact initially appears as another male character being rude and dismissive to Aventurine. Like, there are still people out there calling Ratio an unrepentant racist for this one.

Of course, it's later clarified that this is an act--likely even these insults were scripted specifically to give Sunday's spying ears the "insight" he needed to exploit Aventurine during the interrogation.

But even though it is an act, Aventurine still has noticeable trouble putting his faith in Ratio. He does genuinely doubt him a few times, despite knowing that they are working together to fool the Family.

Even his voice line about Ratio confirms that he doesn't think Ratio particularly cares for him; rather, he thinks Ratio simply tolerates him because he's slightly less unintelligent than those around them.

Ultimately, the entire act with Ratio ends up being a mirror of the real scenarios Aventurine has been experiencing with men his whole life (at least as far as we are shown his life). Men abandon him to fend for himself (unwillingly, like his father, or willingly, like Diamond leaving Aventurine to deal with Penacony alone on the inside). Ratio keeps leaving Aventurine completely alone. Men attempt to humiliate him and violate his boundaries (like Sunday and his slave master). Ratio insults Aventurine's appearance and intelligence repeatedly. Men betray him (like Oswaldo Schneider and his men leaving the Avgin to die). Ratio "betrays" him.

I'm not saying when Aventurine devised the plan for their act, he consciously drew up a list of all the ways men had hurt him in the past and had Ratio re-enact them one by one, but like... that's what happened, whether or not Aventurine intended it.

And okay, the shrinking scene in Dewlight Pavilion was just for fun and probably only slightly fetishy, the devs promise; yes, it was supposed to be a joke! ...But it's also not a mistake that this is yet another instance of a male character in a glaringly metaphorical position of power over Aventurine. Aventurine's tiny in this scene! He's completely vulnerable! He's in a dangerous position and the male character could very much hurt him in this moment.

But Ratio doesn't. (In fact, his line here is supposed to be sarcastic, very ha ha--but also, what is Ratio really saying? "I won't do anything to you without your express consent." What a good guy.)

Virtually everything negative that we see in 2.1 is Ratio doing these things as an act at Aventurine's own request. He doesn't actually disdain Aventurine; his own voiceline about Aventurine reinforces that he sees Aventurine as talented and intelligent.

Whatever you think he was apologizing for in their early scene, he's the only person we're ever shown in-game apologizing to Aventurine at all.

He worked hard to "betray" Aventurine but only as he was instructed to do, and immediately checks in on Aventurine's well-being afterward, even urging him to give up the plan if it becomes too much to handle.

And then, of course, there's the note: "Do stay alive. I wish you the best of luck."

After this point, it cannot be denied that Ratio is unequivocally on Aventurine's side, wants to help him, and is not doing so out of any sense of self-gain but largely because he is a good person who simply cares about Aventurine's fate. By the end of 2.1, it can no longer be doubted that Ratio is the exception to the "gender rule" of Aventurine's life, which--the story shows us again and again--was that guidance, protection, and care for Aventurine come from women, while men repeatedly represent dismissal, betrayal, or pain.

Ratio is, at least as far as Aventurine's story shows us, the proof that men can be good, that things are not as black and white in Aventurine's life as they might appear, and that--if you do choose to ship him with or see Aventurine as attracted to men--his attraction could be validated (and potentially reciprocated) by a male figure who would not bring additional harm to Aventurine's life. Aventurine makes the final decision to live after seeing Ratio's note--the exception to the rule ultimately proves to be the last piece needed to keep him alive.

But I promised I wasn't going to derail my own post about w o m e n, so let me get to the final point, and the one I really wanted to talk about: Although Ratio gets virtually all the credit for "saving" Aventurine in the fandom, Aventurine was actually saved by, you guessed it, another woman.

Not going to lie, the reason I started this post was specifically because I wanted to talk about how Acheron and Aventurine's dynamic was completely unexpected but actually fits flawlessly with the theme of feminine guidance in Aventurine's story.

Despite the fact that Aventurine made Acheron's life much harder and actively used her as a chip in his grand gamble, she doesn't blame or chastise him for those actions. Although she expresses some incredulity that Aventurine is actually that lucky, she then turns around and congratulations him for his ingenuity, immediately supporting him despite the fact that they don't even truly know each other.

Then it gets even more interesting. Acheron, who frequently hits her companions with deep and sometimes very emotionally fraught questions, asks Aventurine: "Have you never wavered?"

We as players know for a fact that Aventurine is constantly wavering, constantly doubting himself, his luck, and whether he'll even live--or even wants to live--to see tomorrow. But we also know that Aventurine is not forthcoming about those truths, refusing to express them to anyone, even himself. The only way we hear those dark truths is through his "future" self (who by the way, is once again another male figure cutting Aventurine down--of course it's himself but it's also, from the player's perspective, once again reinforcing the message that he isn't going to find safety or kindness in an adult male presence). Aventurine almost constantly deflects and diverts when his emotions or struggles are brought to the fore (unless he's divulging them for the specific purpose of allowing someone else to weaponize them). "I'm fine," he says, like a lying liar who lies.

But he doesn't lie to Acheron.

He chooses to be completely candid with her, to lance open the deepest wound of his life--that he can win and win and win and still have lost everything. The glitz and the glamour has all been stripped away here, at the end of everything, and Aventurine finally feels safe enough to admit that he fears he has absolutely nothing in his life worth living for.

And then, we get this direct parallel: Aventurine looks to Acheron, the woman now before him, for guidance, for explanation, exactly as he looked to his sister in the past.

He needs help, he needs answers, and he is continually seeking that help from the female figures in his life, whose support and kindness echo the lost care of his mother and sister.

"Go where you should be," Acheron tells Aventurine, guiding him across the river of death just as his sister insisted that he flee through the rain toward life.

Look guys, Acheron's even the one who reminds Aventurine to look at Ratio's note in the first place because apparently being an emanator of Nihility gives you x-ray vision, but my girl just gets no credit at all for being Aventurine's real savior, come on now!! Yes, Ratio's note was the final reminder Aventurine needed that someone would be waiting for him on the other side, but Aventurine would never have even gotten to the point of being willing to read that note if Acheron hadn't stepped in and provided him an answer to his question.

She feeds him back his own answer: "Why does life slumber? To rehearse the death for which we are not currently prepared." It is Acheron who reminds Aventurine that giving into the Nihility is pointless, and that rather than simply embracing a meaningless death, it is up to humanity itself to find and make meaning by living. It's this, not Ratio's note, that Aventurine gives as his reason for choosing to go on when asked by his own younger self. It's Acheron's words that finally give Aventurine an answer--why do we live just to die? Because there are people we can still make proud. Because when we go into death, we should do so with our heads held high, having achieved our own sense of purpose in this life.

Ratio gave Aventurine a promise: Someone is waiting for you to come back.

But Acheron gave Aventurine a reason: If life is inherently meaningless, doesn't that just mean you are free to give it meaning yourself?

She saved him, as women have been saving him all his life.

Anyway, this has already been horrendously long, but really what I wanted to say is that I think it is absolutely fascinating how consistent Aventurine's writing is when it comes to portraying where his support comes from and who he seeks guidance from. (Psst, just in case you still haven't figured it out, it's women!) In virtually every instance we are shown, we see the message reinforced that women are Aventurine's greatest allies and role models, while male figures are continually positioned to intentionally or unintentionally let him down and cause him distress.

"But women playing the supporting role to a male character is nothing new, Star, why are you so excited by this?"

Because the role women are playing in Aventurine's life is not the subservient supporter and emotional crutch role that female characters all too often play to male counterparts. None of the women in Penacony or Aventurine's past were there to do the emotional labor for him, to be a trophy or prize, or to cater to his needs. They don't exist solely to help him fulfill his character motivations; they aren't following him around waiting for his next request as their only role in the plot.

Instead, with Aventurine's story, we almost have an inversion of gender roles, where the male character eschews the stereotypical "men are leaders, fighters, and stoic heroes" archetype. Instead, no matter how hard he tries to hide it and keep a stiff upper lip, it is clear from 2.0-2.1's story that Aventurine is a deeply insecure, lonely, and explicitly traumatized survivor of genocide, slavery, and exploitation. Unlike most male characters, who are very rarely portrayed as genuine victims--because come on, shouldn't men be strong enough to fight back? Shouldn't men be able to shrug it off when they are hurt, emotionally or physically? (Of course I'm rolling my eyes here!)--Aventurine is belittled, humiliated, emasculated, and victimized on-screen, roles almost exclusively reserved for women, for whom surviving victimization in fiction is seen as noble.

Meanwhile, the women in Aventurine's life take on the roles traditionally given to male characters. They're both emotionally and physically his protectors. Aventurine's sister gave her life to guard his safety; Acheron ensured he could safely pass beyond the river of Nihility into the Primordial Dreamscape. They give him the tools necessary to succeed where he could not succeed on his own. His plan could never have gotten off the ground without Topaz and Jade entrusting their Cornerstones to him. The knowledge and capabilities of the women around him--not their "feminine charms"--are what allow them to help keep Aventurine on the right path even though he does waver. Even women who disrespect him, like Sparkle, still play a positive role in his life, able to provide him insight gained with their own intellect and talents.

When he has no one to rely on and doesn't know what to do, Aventurine is able to continually turn to the women around him, asking for and receiving not servitude or fawning, but their genuine wisdom and guidance.

tl;dr: If nobody else has him, Aventurine knows this random woman he met two minutes ago on the street will have him, because the women in his life literally never let him down.

(It's just so, so good, and ultimately, it should be very clear why Aventurine's story is as popular with women as it is! A+, Hoyo!)

[osamucide]

FLAVOR PROFILE—gn+afab!reader, alternate universe - PM boss!Osamu Dazai, interrogation+torture, psychological manipulation, noncon to dubcon—not safe, sane, or fully consensual, perv+sadist!Dazai, knife play, blood play, tiny bit of choking, degradation, cutting, scratching, biting, marking, mindbreak, debatable whether Dazai kills reader at the end? all around depraved, DEAD DOVE/DARK CONTENT—PLEASE PROCEED WITH CAUTION

ABV—3.8k

BAR OSAMUCIDE IS STRICTLY AN 18+ ESTABLISHMENT. FAILURE TO PROVIDE VALID ID/AGE IN BIO UPON INTERACTING WILL RESULT IN REMOVAL FROM THE PREMISES. MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS WILL BE BLOCKED.

“So, here we are.”

It’s only a matter of time ‘til you start talking, was the last thing the redheaded mafioso told you as his grip on your hair loosened and you slumped forward into the chair once more. We’re gonna kill ya anyway. Just not before the boss gets his hands on you. Don’t you wanna make it easier on yourself?

You really do. You do want to make it easier on yourself. But you pledged your loyalty to your misfit faction of gifteds threatening the Port Mafia’s turf as of late—in a rather alarming way, it’s worthy to note—and as one of their highest profile members, as a leader and exemplar of the values of honesty and fairness that you promised to uphold and instill in your society as part of that pledge, you can not, in good conscience, betray what you know. What you call home.

There’s a cause at stake that is larger than your life. What kind of leader would you be if you crumbled? If you failed a cause that’s meant and hoped to outlive you anyway?

It’s your own fault you got caught to begin with.

It’s your own fault for thinking you could go out on recon in the dead of night by yourself. You’ve long known better that the Port Mafia doesn’t sleep; what you hadn’t known or expected was to run into the ruthless commander of the Black Lizard in a warehouse during the hours too late to be considered night, too early to be considered morning. The boss takes the liberty of reminding you.

“I think we’re all lucky Akutagawa’s built up some restraint over those impulses of his, hm?” he continues, his sharp dress shoes clicking cleanly against the concrete floor of wherever it is you’re being held. It just meant they already had their sights trained on you specifically before you started sneaking around—longer than you’d anticipated, and longer than you’d been prepared for. Had you brought along a few of your subordinates, you might’ve stood a chance—well, maybe against a group of low-ranked patrolmen. But that wasn't the case, and now, here you are. Caught.

You're hunched over, wrists at your back, ankles bound, the way Nakahara left you; assured fingertips—softer this time, but only marginally so—find the spot on the crown of your head that he favored earlier and you find yourself held up by your hair once more, wincing through a crusted-over bloody nose into the eyes of the boss—Osamu Dazai.

What strikes you first, aside from the sting curling across your scalp, is the utter emptiness in his stare—the first brown irises you think you've ever seen entirely devoid of warmth. He regards you with an expression you can only place through your blear as distaste—maybe a little boredom, then maybe a contradictory twinge of amusement when you sniffle. You're wholly unsure. All you know is it feels like whiplash when he lets you go and your chin snaps back down to your chest.

"Pretty thing," you almost don't hear him say; you're focused on registering the cuffs falling away from your wrists, the way your upper body is sent forward, and the fact that you can use the momentum to propel yourself up—or try, rather, but you're absolutely concussed and you forget your ankles, having lost feeling now from the restraints, are still attached to the seat. Your palms hit the concrete, the back of the chair knocks into your lower back and you yelp; suddenly you're a pathetic, twisted mess facedown on the ground.

He's chuckling. You can't imagine it reaching those eyes.

And if he's going to strip you of your dignity by laughing, well, at least you were upright before. Now, as your elbows give beneath your own weight, there's tears springing to your eyes; you're sure if they were to fall they'd streak through a layer of grime. And it's not from the pain—no, if you were going to cry from the pain, you would've a lot long ago. You can't remember how long you've been in here, and there's no window, no clock to give you any grace, but it has to have been at least a couple of days. Your body threatens to cry from the sheer humiliation of being crumpled beneath this chair, unable to scramble up—as your cheek hits the floor, a tear crawls across the bridge of your nose and you swear you can hear it echo as it splatters—while this man laughs at you.

By the grace of some god, you feel your tingling feet and ankles coming back to life as he undoes the bindings around them. And you scramble, not unlike a bug, when he lifts the chair off of you and tosses it aside, but still, your body fails you, and he's walking around you to crouch down near your face.

You see him before you feel him; the Port Mafia boss is willing you up by your arms, setting you on your ass, almost sympathetically, as you combat your sniveling. Still crouched, he speaks again only when you look to him, your eyes brimming with disgust.

He speaks softly, like he almost feels sorry for you as he does. "You're free to go, if you can get up."

But you're not stupid enough to try again. The tingling has morphed to the stage which it starts to almost hurt; you don't trust your feet, and only when you try to draw your knees up to your chin do you realize how badly all of your muscles tremble—too badly to make it up the daunting set of stairs that lead to the exit of your chamber. You wish he wouldn't watch you. You'd surely try if he left you alone. You'd look for something, anything, around you that you could use against him—there's nothing in the room other than your chair, a solid oak dresser with drawers against the wall, and your limp, abandoned bindings. You'd shoot him if your gun hadn't been confiscated first thing, and if he wasn't undoubtedly armed himself. Anyway, he gazes at you, intently, still swirling back and forth across the line that separates boredom from amusement. You won't get away with anything beneath his stare.

So you don't try. Your ass hurts, too—that damn chair wasn't forgiving at all, and your palms sting when you touch your own skin. You ache all over, in every joint, like you've got some mutant strain of the flu, and your head pounds with icepick intensity. It's a struggle just to look at him, despite the dimness, despite your desperation. So you don't. You curl in on yourself, and you don't cry. And he stares.

He hums, standing back up. His eyes on you—they feel like ice.

"Chuuya couldn't get anything out of you," he sighs, recounting it like he's briefing you on the morning news. "But you look pretty close to breaking. I'll have to thank him for getting you started."

"Kill me." You mean to spit it at him, but your voice shakes out, hoarse. "You won't get anything from me. Just kill me."

"Oh, but that wouldn't be as much fun yet." He's smiling; you could almost mistake it for a kind expression if it wasn't for those eyes. He's reaching for you again, deceivingly soft—you know it's deceit, how he gathers you up onto your feet with near-gentleness and leads you over to the dresser. He doesn't look strong, but he must be; you're mostly dead weight when he picks you up to sit you on the wooden surface, let you lean back against the wall.

You know what comes next for someone like you when you're faced with someone like him. You don't know what he's rifling around in one of the dresser drawers for, but it hardly matters; he's shuffled himself between your knees, and your closed eyes will not be enough to shut him out; you're already so exhausted. You're already dead, and you try to take comfort in that fact while he picks up your wrist, trails his fingers over it like you're as fragile as you look.

It's when you feel something cold against your forearm that your eyes snap open again, searching.

He looks sharper than the knife. It's a switchblade, glinting as it lays flat against the vains in your wrist; Osamu Dazai's lips twitch into a smile for the first time you've ever seen as you glance between him and it.

"Please don't," you whisper, but it's too late.

One horizontal slash against your arm. At this point it almost feels familiar, like a routine injection. A shot of whisky. You wince, but don't whine.

It's deep enough to pour. Your blood is warm as it circles your wrist like a bracelet, warm as it soaks through the knee of your pants when he drops it like you're a ragdoll to pick up your other one.

"You can cooperate and they won't have to match," he mumbles casually, tracing the tip of the knife across your palm like a pencil across paper as he studies your face.

You close your eyes again, tilting your head back. This isn't the worst of what you've experienced down here. It'll take more than a few slashes on the wrist to make you talk.

Before you can assert that, another one. Opposite arm. They match.

He clicks his tongue like he's disappointed in you. Like he doesn't like having to do this. But when you open your eyes again, that little smile is still there, cracked into his pale face.

You don't have to say it'll take more than that. He knows.

That's why the tip of the blade presses into the space between your collarbones, above the neckline of your shirt.

You suppose you've been lucky to keep it on this long.

So when he drags the knife down, slicing cleanly through the fabric and catching the skin of your chest, abdomen along it a couple times, you don't budge. You don't let yourself look scared. You don't twitch at the hand gripping your thigh hard while he nudges the tattered piece of cloth down your shoulders to expose your heaving chest. That's the most glaring giveaway—your breathing. And now that your shirt is gone, he can see it clear as day.

"Shame Chuuya had to go for your nose." That almost sympathetic tone is back. His thumb comes to swipe at the blood dried above your lips. You jerk your head away, but fall back into his hand when the icepick stabs again. Fuck, it hurts. Your head hurts worse than anything, probably thanks to said nose shots. Your heartbeat is in your temples. "But it's okay. You're still pretty."

You'd be flattered under other circumstances. It's true you could say the same about him, but it's all clouded, hidden beneath the malice he inflicts upon you with such ease.

That smile widens.

"I might have to mark it up, though," he remarks. That false regret—it makes you boil. "Which is too bad."

You've bargained down here, but you figure through your haze, through your bleeding arms, to try again. "You don't have to do this. We can reach an agreement."

"An agreement, you say," he zeroes in on you, hands on either side of your hips as he leans forward to meet you at eye level. "An agreement. What would that look like for you?"

"You can kill me," you concede, breathless. "Let me tell my men to stand down and then you can kill me. It can be over. We won't have to deal with each other again. Ever."

Osamu Dazai looks at you thoughtfully, like he's considering, like he hadn't thought of that as an option before.

You are, unfortunately, stupid enough to let a flicker of hope arise inside you. Even if you die—when you die, you can spare yourself from more suffering and your faction will back off. You will let yourself be the example of what will happen, and no one part of your cause will be subjected to this treatment; you're okay with that, you're okay with being a martyr, if it only means it can all be over—if it only means it won't happen ever again.

Dazai looks to you again. Cold. "You can tell your men to stand down," he begins, fanning that flicker.

You take a deep breath.

"...After I'm done with you."

You're not fully sure what that means until his fingers are popping the button on your pants.

He's got no intention of letting you die in anything less than agony, you realize, no matter what you say.

Tears well up again. You shake your head, kick at him with your weakened legs, but he dodges you easily, picks up the knife again as your trousers settle beneath your knees and you mutter no, no, no over, over. He pushes them off, with your underwear, to the ground and kicks them away, grabbing your flailing hands and holding them to the wood as he threatens you with the restraints once more.

"You're gonna fuckin' talk either way," he growls through his teeth, the first hint of frustration finally seeping into his demeanor, into his eyes. It's gone in a second; gone, replaced with that stale amusement, more chilling than the frustration perhaps, and you almost wish for him to be angrier, more explosive like the executive named Chuuya had been. This quiet rage that seems to be his trademark is far scarier. You can't bite back at it. Especially with your bare ass against the dresser, you can't find your own volatility. It's stuck in your chest. He disarms it, like magic, with each conspiratorial smile, each gentle caress. You can't get around it.

You get your wish when one of his hands grips the column of your throat, throttles your hammering skull back against the wall. You finally whine at the pain. Your hands flail still, clawing at him more out of instinct than anything, but the switchblade is enough to chase you away as he leans into you, pins you in place with his hips—pathetic, as you collect cuts and gashes across your knuckles, fingers, palms while he undoes his belt.

You can feel his throbbing tip against your pelvis as he scoots you closer to him by the small of your back; the blade flips in his grasp and finds a path to hover, pointed over your eye and you catch his wrist as he tells you—

"Keep squirming and this goes through your eyeball right to your brain."

What else can you do but let all your tense limbs fall to rest? You feel him poking you uncomfortably, hotly as you crane your neck away from the knife; you're caught. You're really caught, more than you have been the entire time you've been down here. Squirm one way, suffer another. You're stuck between a rock and a hard place and the hope you had, so brutally snuffed out by his cutting words, all dead now, like you will be soon, almost lets you look at him like a man you could want. You would, certainly, under normal circumstances. But you're bleeding, you're concussed, your body is giving up and he's the most powerful man in Yokohama and the way his bangs curtain over his eyes after he pushes them back has you, in your delirium, hesitantly linking your ankles around his waist and it's numbly and distantly infuriating, the relief that washes over your body when you drape onto him, but it's relieving no less, and he's almost beautiful to you if you just don't think too hard about any of it.

Don't think too hard about any of it.

Steal it back from him—look like you could like it through the dwindling coherence you have, and maybe you can steal it back from him.

You find yourself smiling, too. Annoying, he thinks—he knows what you're doing. He holds the blade over your eye which falls shut and opens again in an unconcerned blink that could almost be considered sultry—you must be demented. He knows what you must be thinking. Knows what you must've snapped to.

So he flips the knife again—holds the blade, carefully, handle out, and dips it down to your cunt.

He wants to stab you when you roll your hips against it.

It would embarass you, how quickly you get yourself wet from grinding your clit on the handle of his blade, if you weren't so close to total depletion. Maybe, you think, if you grind hard enough you can get him to cut himself with it; you've never gone down without a fight, and just because you're at your wits end doesn't mean that'll change.

In fact, you channel it into everything you can give. You grind on the handle, and he watches you, cold eyes wholly unamused but now totally focused on you. You'll be a project. You'll make it difficult.

Good thing he likes a challenge.

Dazai's smug again when he pulls the knife back up and shoves the handle between your teeth; "Suck," he instructs you, and you do, widening your drooping eyes, swirling your tongue, urging him forward with your legs around his waist.

It's what you seem to want, you think he mumbles before he's pressing himself into you remorselessy; it hurts, the stretch—he harshly bypasses the ring of taut muscle at your entrance, plunging into you deep, and you whimper around the handle of the knife and he pushes that deeper, too, into your throat, and you gag as he splits you open and the tears finally fall. Not because it hurts or because you're overwhelmed but because you know, through all of it, you're going to break him the same way he and his men have broken you—even if not to the same degree, it'll be enough. A little victory to die with.

And he starts fucking you, fast.

With what little strength you have left, you tear the buttons of his shirt open. A bandaged torso, a chest heaving just as much as yours now—you look at him, ravenously, and he twirls the knife one more time to tell you to watch it, watch your hands, and as he fucks you he's grunting in irritation at your response, and the blade is at your throat, pressing uncomfortably close just like his tip had against your tummy and your moans are open-mouthed, loud, shameless as your nails rake up his chest, throat, and land in his hair. Your blood smears across his neck, across his shoulders.

"You're—ngh—you're fucking crazy," he hisses at you as you clench, arch, press your forehead to his almost like you're lovers. You have to be fucking crazy. The worst part for him—he isn't stopping you. Not that he can't, he just isn't; you're not supposed to enjoy this, but you're lapping your own blood up from his milky skin as the threat of a slit throat is suspended between the both of you and you're kissing him, kissing him and biting his lip, clashing your teeth; he tastes both of your blood and he's pressed the knife harder into your neck in his shock because you should be screaming, begging for him to stop but you're not—you're meeting his heavy thrusts with enthusiasm, deranged in your hysteria.

He's dredged up enough of your wetness now that you're squelching around him. You dig your teeth in deep when you feel the sting from the blade on the delicate skin of your neck; he's losing himself as much as you are yourself, and you're smiling still, smiling as finally as he wraps a cruel hand beneath your thigh and pushes it up to hit you deeper and the pleasure registers through the revenge and the hot, sticky blood. He might cut you to death before you cum but not before he does because you pull back and he's ruined—the most dangerous man in Yokohama, the boss of the Port Mafia, Osamu Dazai is crumbling to ruin inside your dripping cunt; you could laugh—you will laugh, when this is over, and you hope it'll haunt him until the day he's in his grave—but for now, you can only dig your fingernails into his scalp (a little more of his own medicine) and moan, gasp, sob over the way he drags himself in and out of you deliciously. It feels like heaven compared to everything you've been through at the hands of his subordinates in the last thirty-something hours.

Since you're not begging him to stop, you should be begging him to let you cum—but you're not doing that either, and the resolve of the boss of the Port Mafia is shattering, slowly—too quickly—as he pounds into you harder, harder, harder. Bandages coming unwrapped, sweat dripping from the perfect, pointed end of his nose; you lick that up too, gently as you can through the way he jostles your body with each of his movements.

"This the only way you get pussy, huh? Capturing and forcing it? Ungh—Pathetic fucking man," you groan out, smirk playing on your face as you fight the way your eyes roll back. Impossibly harder, faster.

"Sh-shut the fuck up, slut," he spits back at you. Those cold eyes burn.

"You're fucking a dead bitch," you taunt. You think he'll break you. You think you want him to. You think he already has. You have to do it back. "Slut."

The knife presses harder into your throat. You can feel the blood flowing freely.

"Talk or I'll fucking kill you before you cum." But his voice, so smooth and suave and bored and casual earlier, is so broken now, so clipped. "Tell me where those six fucking friends of yours are. I'll find them anyway."

Six friends—your executives and subexecutives. It pulls you out of the moment that he knows how many of you there are. But you put on a good show; you're a good leader who will die with their secrets. His threats are empty to you. You clamp down on him, you clasp your teeth into his jaw, his shoulder as his thrusts slow, still bruising but slow as you feel him coming unraveled—it's enough to send you over, too, blacking out and hearing only your own voice as you sob, squirt a pitiable orgasm onto his stomach but it's one nonetheless and his seed is filling you, warm. You come back to and find his eyes one last time as they fly open, glazed over. He's gorgeous. He really is. You don't mind that he's the last thing you'll see. How unfortunate he couldn't be the death of you in some other way. Maybe in some other life.

A final long slash to send you unconscious. A smattering of sizzling red across his face.

He watches your body collapse at the foot of the dresser. You could've been the death of him too, in some other life—he saw it in your eyes.

How unfortunate it all is.

Osamu Dazai, the boss of the Port Mafia, stands and stares at you, your weakening pulse, for a long time before he gets to cleaning up your blood.

[writing-with-sophia]

Common character motivations

Revenge - seeking to get even with someone who has wronged them

Love - driven by romantic feelings for another character

Greed - motivated by a desire for material possessions or wealth

Power - seeking to gain control or influence over others

Justice - motivated by a sense of fairness and a desire to see justice served

Redemption - seeking to make up for past mistakes or wrongdoings

Curiosity - driven by a desire to learn or discover something new

Duty - motivated by a sense of responsibility or obligation to others or a cause

Ambition - driven by a desire to achieve a specific goal or succeed in a particular endeavor

Fear - motivated by a desire to avoid danger or harm

Guilt - driven by a sense of remorse for past actions or decisions

Jealousy - motivated by envy or a desire to possess what another character has

Betrayal - motivated by a sense of betrayal or desire for revenge against someone who has betrayed them.

Ambivalence - a character who is conflicted or uncertain about their goals or desires

Freedom - a character who seeks to escape from a restrictive situation or society

Fame - motivated by a desire for public recognition or notoriety

Identity - driven by a need to understand or define who they are

Family - motivated by a sense of loyalty or obligation to their family or loved ones

Discovery - driven by a desire to explore or uncover hidden knowledge

Patriotism - motivated by a love for their country or a desire to protect it

Rebellion - driven by a desire to challenge authority or the status quo

Artistic expression - motivated by a need to create or express oneself through art, music, or other creative endeavors

Religion or spirituality - driven by a desire to connect with a higher power or to live according to certain beliefs or values

Altruism - motivated by a desire to help others or make the world a better place

Atonement - driven by a need to make amends or seek forgiveness for past actions

Nostalgia - motivated by a desire to return to a simpler time or relive past experiences

Status - driven by a desire for social or professional standing or recognition.

Insecurity - driven by a need to prove their worth or gain acceptance from others

Legacy - motivated by a desire to leave a lasting impact or to be remembered in a certain way after they're gone

Survival - driven by the need to survive in extreme circumstances, such as a natural disaster, war, or an apocalyptic event

Belonging - motivated by a desire to fit in with a certain group or community

Love of knowledge - driven by a passion for learning and acquiring new information

Addiction - motivated by a compulsion to engage in a particular behavior or activity, such as drug use or gambling

Inciting incident - motivation driven by a specific event that triggers or sets the character on their journey

Fear of death - driven by a fear of their own mortality or the mortality of others

Intimidation - motivated by a fear of others or a desire to intimidate others for personal gain

Envy - driven by a desire to possess what others have or to be like someone else

Manipulation - motivated by a desire to control or manipulate others for their own benefit

Protecting others - driven by a desire to protect loved ones or innocent people from harm

Sense of duty - motivated by a sense of responsibility to fulfill a particular role or obligation.

If you want to read more posts about writing, please click here and give me a follow!

[gay-dorito-dust]

Can you give us a headcanon about Jason in a relationship?

Jason is a big man with an even bigger heart, no one can take this away from me, no one. You can try but you fucking can’t.

Being with Jason automatically gifts you with scary dog privileges because whilst to you, Jason is a sweet man who’d get all pouty when you don’t kiss him in the morning or call him by the nicknames you’ve picked out for each other and will make you breakfast in bed because he wanted to show his gratitude to you for staying by him and loving him when he didn’t think you should.

To others however Jason was a this big 6ft something dude who could beat them into next week a multitude of unique ways if they even thought of looking at him funny. He radiates danger just by standing there and yet to you he was the reason that walking home at night from work had become just that little bit easier. It’s not much but it’s enough for you to know that you’ve got someone who’d watch your back vigilantly 24/7.

Jason’s fatal flaw might as well be either loyalty or devotion because this man will not act out of line with you, he refuses to betray and throw away everything you’ve ever done for him just because his eyes lingered elsewhere; which would never happen as Jason’s eyes were firmly locked onto you from morning, noon and night. You were just that perfect in his eyes that he’d rather die again than ever look at someone else the way he does you. You’re his person, his one and only simple as that because you’ve claimed his heart the moment you met.

Your trust is something he values deeply and he isn’t one to play stupid games with your trust either. So if you were to ever tell him about a boundary being crossed or talk about something that rubbed you the wrong way, you best believe Jason will honour that and promise to never do it again.

Two words; Book. Dates.

More specifically the ones where you’d a) go to those cute book cafes where you could enjoy reading your favourite books together in comfortable silences whilst enjoying a warm/cold beverage. Or b) have an in book date within the confines of your shared apartment, where Jason had this small hoard of books he’s been meaning to read, most of which were primarily Jane Austin’s body of work with some of your own recommended books in between.

It’s almost like your own little book club just for the two of you. It’s your thing that you share together that brings you closer together as a couple.

Jason loves it whenever he gets to read one of your favourite books as it brings forth and intellectual conversation between the two of you as you got to hear Jason’s view of the story and characters while Jason got to hear your own point of view; It was beautiful way of admiring the way the other person’s mind worked and find even more ways of falling in love with each other, as if you weren’t already deeply in love in the first place.

Jason loves being near you and once he gets past his aversion to touch, he’ll want to touch and hold you in any given capacity because he’s become well and truly addicted to the feel of your skin against his; so much so to the point where you’ve got him practically melting and closing his eyes in content as he humming in pleasure it almost came across as that of a cat’s purring.

If Jason could he would wholeheartedly want to live out the rest of his life within your arms, they were his safe haven, the one place he could call home as he could let down his guard and just melt into your embrace and allow you to pamper him in kisses and sweet nothings that leave him feeling more warm and loved then before, a tear of two may slip but it’s because he’s so fucking happy to have you in his life. So don’t be frightened when he starts hugging you back tightly, making it near enough impossible to escape his grasp.

Jason is your number one fan. Always has been, always will be. So may your insecurities begone because this man will pull out an exaggeratedly long list as to what about you Jason loved so much.

Spoiler alert: it’s everything. I don’t make the rules because this man will love your gap tooth, your acne scarring, your stretch marks, your love handles, your laugh, your eyes, your voice, your hair. Anything and everything that you’re majorly insecure of Jason will love tenfold because YOU. ARE.PERFECT. THE.WAY. YOU. ARE! And don’t you let some test tell you otherwise!

Also Jason falls under the ‘wear whatever you want, I can fight’ category of boyfriend because it’s not your fault you look drop dead gorgeous.

Hell you could walk in your apartment in sweat pants and an oversized shirt and Jason will stare at you with heart eyes like he would if you were wearing something that you felt confident and sexy in. Please wear it and be your sexy self you sexy bastard! Be the main character in your story!

For by the end of the night Jason will have everyone apologising to you for ruining your night because they thought they could get away with being freaks and weirdos.

Agree or disagree, I don’t care but Jason would 100% would want to take care of the dog -especially if it’s of a breed that’s massively stereotyped as aggressive- you found that was left abandoned in the rain, hurt and suffering back to full health and find it a better home or decided to keep them because he’s grown attached.

[angrykittybarbarian]

About that Dragon Age: The Veilguard audio web series

Thinking back about the marketing for DATV I now realize it was kind of deceptive.

No, it was not literal fraud. They did not make specific promises and then broke them, not explicitely and in a way you could hold them liable in court over. And I get when you are advertising your product you will of course highlight its most favorable aspects while not shoving its negative sides into everyone's noses.

However I do think that EA/Bioware did stretch out the boundaries between regular endorsement and fraud.

It started with the web series Vows and Vengeance they uploaded weekly on Youtube right before release. At that time I was still hopeful and excited for the game. And Vows and Vengeance all but encouraged that excitement.

You know why? Because, and this surprised me, it was genuinely good.

Vows and Vengeance functioned as an early introduction to the companions. While they were not the main characters they did play a key role in each episode. The plot was what could be typically expected from a regular DA installment. It had a dark, gripping story. The dialogue was well written. It dealt with mature themes, it actually discussed the classism of Tevinter.

Lucanis was a proper crow who killed a good man because he was hired to do so. He was positively morally grey. Davrin had actually strong opinions when the main character dropped the Dread Wolf's name. Bellara was interesting in that it became clear how she struggled with her ADHD without using infantile language, Scout Harding acted smart, mature and competent, Taash was a morally grey bad ass, fitting for a freelance treasure hunter and with smart and witty dialogue to go with it.

It was amazing, I found myself excited every week for a new episode. It got me interested in the companions. I already contemplated to romance Taash because they were so cool and charismatic in that series. I thought, if a FREE webseries that was made for advertisement was already this great then the game had to be nothing short of phenomenal.

And then it just...wasn't. There was nothing of the depth that came through in the web series. It was as if I was presented with a sample of a multilayered chocolate cake but got a dry brownie after I actually paid the full price for it.

The sheer audacity behind this course of action is still so inconcievable to me, I sometimes still wonder why they put effort into writing the free thing and not the product they demand payment for. I still don't get it. The only explanation is they purposefully put out a misleading sample to lure in the customers in the beginning to spend money, right?

This fraud adjacent behavior does not stop there.

Remember when we thought we would be importing our worldstates from our previous games? There wasn't even a question about it in the beginning because this is such an intrinsic Bioware feature. But then the info about the three choices in the character creator leaked.

Leaked!

Meaning they never intended for this information to be known pre-release. They fully intended to keep it secret until it would be too late. They also never said they wanted a soft reboot.

This is the conclusion the fandom has drawn after they destroyed their own lore and went scorched earth on the entire south of Thedas.

And the biggesr lie was when they said this was their best work. After all this!

This is the reason why DATV's shortcomings are so devastating. This is why so many feel like the game was a slap to their faces. EA/Bioware gaslit and manipulated us from the very beginning. We have been cheated and betrayed.

The last bit of trust I and many others had in Bioware, they mercilessly crushed.

I personally will never take even one thing they say at face value again. You can only trust their actions from now on.

[thewriteadviceforwriters]

Hello! I've been getting more and more tips for writing thanks to your post about character flaws in my FYP. I was wondering, do you have any posts about character strengths/virtues? Thanks!

Rin's Character Strengths Masterpost ✨

Hey there, fellow writer! 💖 So glad my character flaws post found its way to you! You've asked about one of my FAVORITE topics to explore - character strengths and virtues! And guess what? I've been meaning to write this companion piece for ages, so THANK YOU for the nudge!

Let's dive DEEP into character strengths that go beyond the basic "brave protagonist" or "loyal sidekick" tropes we see everywhere in fiction. Because memorable characters need memorable strengths!

Why Character Strengths Matter Just As Much As Flaws

We often focus SO much on giving characters interesting flaws (which, yes, super important!), but their strengths are what make readers root for them and fall in love with their journey. Strengths are what make your character SHINE in those pivotal moments! ✨

The key is making these strengths SPECIFIC, NUANCED, and sometimes even PROBLEMATIC. Yes, strengths can cause problems too - that's where the juicy storytelling happens!

Beyond-Basic Character Strengths for Your Characters

1. CONTEXTUAL COURAGE 🔥

Not just "bravery" but courage that manifests in specific contexts:

Social courage (standing up to peer pressure)

Intellectual courage (questioning deeply held beliefs)

Physical courage despite specific fears

Quiet courage (the kind that doesn't look heroic but IS)

Moral courage (doing the right thing when it costs them personally)

Creative courage (risking failure and ridicule for their art/ideas)

2. RADICAL EMPATHY 💭

Not just "understanding others" but:

The ability to understand even villains' motivations

Cross-cultural empathy that bridges different backgrounds

Empathy that extends to those completely unlike themselves

Empathy that causes them to make difficult choices others wouldn't

Empathy that allows them to anticipate others' needs before they're voiced

Empathy for those society has taught them to fear or distrust

3. ADAPTIVE INTELLIGENCE 🧠

Not just "being smart" but:

Pattern recognition in chaotic situations

Intuitive problem-solving under pressure

Cultural adaptability when thrust into unfamiliar environments

Emotional intelligence that helps navigate complex relationships

Street smarts that complement (or replace) formal education

The ability to translate complex concepts for different audiences

4. CREATIVE RESILIENCE 🌱

Not just "bouncing back" but:

Finding unconventional solutions to setbacks

Using humor as a coping mechanism during dark times

Transforming trauma into strength without romanticizing it

Building community resilience, not just personal

Learning from failures rather than being crushed by them

Maintaining hope in seemingly hopeless situations

5. PRINCIPLED FLEXIBILITY 🌊

Not just "having values" but:

Knowing which principles to bend and which to hold firm

Adapting moral frameworks to new information

Navigating ethical gray areas without losing their core

Growing their values through experience rather than rigidity

Finding compromise without betraying essential beliefs

Recognizing when rules must be broken for a greater good

6. DISRUPTIVE KINDNESS ❤️

Not just "being nice" but:

Kindness that challenges systems of oppression

Unexpected kindness that changes enemies' perspectives

Kindness as a radical choice in brutal environments

Kindness that requires genuine sacrifice

Kindness that sees beyond surface behaviors to underlying needs

Kindness that doesn't expect recognition or reciprocation

7. CONSTRUCTIVE SKEPTICISM 🔍

Not just "questioning things" but:

The ability to discern truth from manipulation

Healthy doubt of authority without cynicism

Critical thinking that leads to solutions, not just criticism

Questioning their own assumptions first

Seeking multiple perspectives before forming judgments

Recognizing patterns of deception or misinformation

8. STRATEGIC VULNERABILITY 💧

Not just "being open" but:

Knowing when vulnerability creates connection

Sharing weaknesses to build trust at critical moments

Using personal stories to help others feel less alone

Admitting mistakes to model growth for others

Asking for help when independence would be destructive

Showing emotion strategically to influence outcomes

The Strength Spectrum: Make It Complex!

Remember that any strength exists on a spectrum! The most interesting characters have strengths that sometimes function as weaknesses depending on the context.

For example:

Loyalty becomes enabling when taken too far

Curiosity becomes recklessness in dangerous situations

Honesty becomes cruelty without empathy

Ambition becomes destructive when ethics are compromised

Compassion becomes self-destruction without boundaries

Independence becomes isolation when connection is needed

Confidence becomes arrogance without self-reflection

Cautiousness becomes paralysis when action is required

Strengths in Character Arcs 📈

The MAGIC happens when you show how strengths evolve throughout your story:

The Dormant Strength - A character doesn't know they possess it until circumstances force it out

The Misused Strength - They have the strength but are applying it in harmful ways

The Costly Strength - Using this strength requires genuine sacrifice

The Transformative Strength - This strength fundamentally changes who they are

The Shared Strength - They teach/inspire this strength in others

The Rediscovered Strength - A strength they lost faith in that returns when most needed

The Evolving Strength - A strength that changes form as the character grows

The Collaborative Strength - A strength that only emerges when combined with another character's abilities

Writing Exercise for You! 📝

Take your protagonist and identify:

One strength they've always had and rely on

One strength they don't know they have yet

One strength that's actually causing problems

One strength they'll need to develop to overcome the main conflict

One strength they admire in someone else

One strength they've lost and need to reclaim

Genre-Crossing Character Strengths

These strengths work across ALL genres:

Perceptive Pattern Recognition - Seeing connections others miss

Adaptive Authenticity - Remaining true to themselves while evolving

Constructive Conflict Navigation - Using disagreement to build stronger relationships

Radical Responsibility - Owning their part in problems without self-flagellation

Generative Listening - Hearing beyond words to underlying meanings

Intentional Impact Awareness - Understanding how their actions affect others

Courageous Vulnerability - Risking rejection for authentic connection

Principled Pragmatism - Finding workable solutions that honor core values

Remember that in ANY genre, your character strengths should connect to their internal journey as much as their external conflicts. The most compelling characters have strengths that are tested, lost, rediscovered, transformed, and ultimately deepened through their story arc. 🌟

The most powerful character strengths aren't superpowers or extraordinary abilities - they're deeply human qualities taken to their most compelling expression. They're the things we recognize in ourselves but rarely develop fully. That's why they resonate so deeply with readers across all genres and age categories.

Hope this helps you craft characters with rich, nuanced strengths! Let me know if you want me to dive deeper into any of these - I could talk character development ALL DAY! 💖

~ Rin. T.

[fantastic-nonsense]

I think people who genuinely wanted Percy to rebel against the gods and overthrow the system kind of...miss the whole point of the series

The question is not whether or not the gods deserve to rule; the books are kind of unambiguous that they don't! That the gods are generally undeserving of their children's loyalty is the one thing that Percy and Luke both agree on! But PJO is less about divine right to rule vs. ruling via consent of the governed and more about improving dysfunctional family systems. It's not about whether unfair rulers deserve to continue ruling; it's about forcing the gods to be better, fairer rulers and a better, fairer family given limited alternatives.

Because what are the alternatives, as presented to us within the scope of the original PJO series?

Option 1: allow Kronos to topple Olympus and take over. Clearly not a viable alternative for all of the reasons the books show us.

Option 2: the demigods overthrow the Olympians and rule the world themselves. Okay. How's that going to work out long-term, given demigods are mortal and cannot control or protect their parents' domains? Demigods will die out within a generation or two, so that's potentially a one-generation short-term solution, and then everyone's right back where they started. Except worse, because now the world has been out of divine balance for a century and the gods have a completely legitimate bone to pick with all demigods. Materially worse outcome.

Option 3: demigods ignore the gods and their will entirely. They integrate into the mortal world, refuse to participate in quests or talk to their parents, and pretend prophecies don't exist. Except that's clearly not a viable option, since we see that demigods usually can't safely exist in the mortal world without monsters coming after them, the gods are cruel enough to use blackmail and engage in hostage situations to get demigods to act as heroes, and prophecies have a way of coming true regardless of everyone's best attempts to circumvent them. Again: materially worse outcome.

And for Percy, for the demigods at Camp Half-Blood, for Luke and for everyone else who defected....for the most part, they don't actually have an inherent problem with the gods ruling them. They just want to be acknowledged, valued, and loved by their families, to be treated as more than a tool for their parents to wield whenever their services are needed. That was the core thesis of the demigod rebellion, which was wholly separate from Kronos' specific motivations for overthrowing the Olympians, and it's why Percy's asks at the end of TLO were what they were.

The point was always that had Percy grown up in a slightly more dysfunctional family environment...had he grown up with Frederick Chase's seemingly conditional love or May Castellan's madness instead of Sally Jackson's steady, quiet, unconditional love...he could have turned out like Luke. Like Ethan. Like the dozens of demigods who defected from camp to join Luke's cause. Percy could have turned out just as a bitter and angry and vengeful. Just as ready to tear down the system. Just as willing to betray and kill his own family for the sake of making a point.

But instead, Percy openly reprimands the gods for abandoning their families and using them as cannon fodder in their own petty disagreements. He forces them to acknowledge and claim their children. He demands that everyone who is part of the godly family be recognized and accepted, not just those related to the Twelve Olympians. He asks for those unjustly punished (like Calypso) to be set free and accepted back into the family. Because that's the point at the end of the day: not forcing bad rulers to step down, but changing an insanely dysfunctional family system that the gods and demigods are all members of into a better, safer, and more accepting environment for demigods to grow up and live in.

Overthrowing the gods wouldn't solve the problem at the heart of the series, which is the gods' shitty parenting and family management skills. It would only exacerbate the massive familial fault-lines that Kronos exploited and leave the demigods open to more godly manipulation. Which is why the series ends as it does, with Percy using his wish to tangibly improve the lives of his family instead of selfishly improving his own life (via accepting immortality/godhood) or overthrowing the gods. Because the conflict isn't about the gods as rulers. It's about the gods as parents.

PJO's core thesis is Percy, who grew up knowing unconditional familial love, looking at this whole world of children who didn't and saying "that's not fair. Gods should be better than this!" But instead of destroying them the way Luke wants to, instead of overthrowing them and putting himself on the throne, he instead challenges them to be better parents and family members. To be part of the solution instead of the problem. And Percy's demands don't solve everything, but they were necessary first steps! Without forcing the gods to acknowledge a bare minimum floor of inclusion, the cycle would simply begin all over again the next time a major conflict popped up.

So that's the problem Percy solves and how he successfully fulfills the prophecy: by believing that the gods had the capacity to change and forcing them to break the cycle of familial abandonment, he preserves Olympus and takes the first steps towards a new status quo, one that is objectively better for demigods than the one he grew up in. That's why he succeeds, and it's why Percy overthrowing the gods would have made for a much less satisfying ending than what actually happened.

[bonny-kookoo]

Yoongi

𝐔𝐍𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 | Business Decisions

He's not who people might think he is.

Tags/Warnings: Alien!Yoongi, Human!Reader, Unstable AU, set prior/during the Jungkook storyline, dystopian AU, space/Sci-fi/cyberpunk-esque, strangers to lovers, Angst, Violence, Drama, romance, adult, eventual smut

Length: 3k Words

-Masterlist

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

Min Yoongi is, despite his looks and quiet nature, a very kind person. Or at least, that's what some very selected people will tell, if one was to ask them.  

His tail softly sways behind him as he keeps an eye on the main operational panel in front of him, while you watch. His cat-like ear snaps a bit irritated at something- when his eyes turn towards you, glaring. “can you.. stop staring?” He requests, and you nod, instead turning to look out the large window of the spaceship instead. You’re quiet, but not mute- having talked to him quite a bit before. Maybe you simply don’t speak much, or don’t put much value in.. smalltalk.  

That’s fine by him. He doesn’t either. 

He's found you- or rather, you found him- just hours earlier at an outpost, asking him to take you along to another location in exchange for a small amount of money. Where he went next you didn't care- you only needed a ride to get around, most likely used to this kind of life, since you'd obviously chosen him very specifically amongst all the other options at the bustling restaurant.

In hindsight, it made sense that you approached him despite his grim appearance- he was the shortest and least threatening looking species in that restaurant at the time, and was also one of the only one's there without any company at all. You're clearly smart about this whole process of finding a ride from one place to another-

otherwise, you wouldn't have lived like this for so long, having done this for years, according to you.

“There is.. Food over there. If you’re hungry.” He tells you, and you look over to spot the metal trunk in a corner, before you nod at him, not moving at all however. 

“I’m not.” You answer, though your stomach growls as if to disagree, making you clearly a bit ashamed of it, eyes widening at being betrayed by your own body like this. 

“Just eat. I wouldn’t offer it if I didn’t want to give it to you.” He mumbles to himself, resuming his task of checking the ship’s systems again while you stay seated where he’d last told you to sit. You still won’t move, and he’s unsure why not- but he’s also aware that he shouldn’t get too invested in you. You’re gonna be dropped off next stop, and that’s gonna be it- which is for the best, because getting involved with humans is never a very good idea.  

And he’s also still on a mission to get his revenge- and secure his place in the foodchain, to be no longer seen as nothing but a docile little pet. A mission that might as well kill him- and if he can avoid pulling anyone down with him, he surely will. 

When he notices your eyes blinking longer and longer, he walks to fetch a sleeping bag from one of the other metal trunk in the corner, to offer it to you. “Sleep. It’ll still be a few more hours until we’ve reached the next outpost.” He says, and you take the sleeping bag from him with a thankful nod, before you spread it out right on the floor where you sit, to crawl into it and lay down. He has a suspicion what your way of earning money had been until now, but with your behavior so obvious, it’s very clear to him now.  

It makes him upset. The fact that you’ve been driven so far just to somehow survive.  

Either way, he stays awake to both keep himself safe just incase he’s misjudged you and your intentions, and to make sure the old and very small spaceship keeps it’s course as it sometimes tends to deviate over time due to the old navigation system. And yeah, maybe he also can’t help his instincts as well- 

Unintentionally guarding you while you sleep, eyes always checking up on you any time you move in your sleep.  

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

Min Yoongi was born on Zoldos- a small, cold and relatively poor planet, which had been industrialized for ages. He remembers his father making toys out of junk he found while working at the metal factory each day, turning trash into small spaceships for Yoongi to play with.  

Most of his time however was spent with his mother, and the many children she’d foster over the years of his childhood- many of them he’d see as his sisters, as all of them would be girls given up by their families, since in his culture, they’re said to just be expensive and too much work to raise. Maybe this way of growing up, helping his mother with the young kids every day while she taught him everything he needed for his future, made him into the man he is today.  

His father had always been described as ‘unusually soft’ compared to what is usually expected and seen in his kind- Xaqal people tending to be combative, easily irritated, and quick to escalate situations into physical violence to defend themselves from others. But his father was already uninterested in any of the usual past-time activities his coworkers would indulge in, like underground fighting, or gambling- rather spending his free time home with his son, foster children and partner, which was unusual in itself. Usually, partners of his kind don’t stay together after their children learn how to walk- but Yoongi remembers that even when his mother passed, his father would continue to live at the same house, to find new homes for the remaining children, before he moved away as well once Yoongi decided to leave the planet.  

Yoongi is still in contact with his father, and doesn’t believe that he should’ve been raised any different than how he was. 

But his now rather soft and kind character comes with a price to pay- with most people on other planets not taking too kindly to him and his friendly nature at first. Friendships don’t pay your bills after all, so the first lesson the young man had to learn back then, was to toughen up, and start thinking of only yourself first and foremost. Getting attached to others was a risk to take, and would most likely end in a burden one might think of unnecessary.  

Even so, Yoongi has made friends along the way. From a very, very charismatic guy named Seokjin and his mother on Cryon, or the stoic and self-admitted younger ‘Asshole’ human-Bolku hybrid going by the name of Jungkook. But other than that, he keeps himself independent- away from others.  

However, for some reason, he’s now sitting with you on a bench on the outpost while his spaceship is being refueled, having bought you some warm food to eat, despite your active arguments against that. Maybe because you’re obviously in need of protection, or because you’re not a threat whatsoever- but he feels like he should at least make sure you’ll be okay on this outpost, before he’ll leave you here.  

Deep down, he knows it’s not the question if you end up getting into a situation where you’ll be killed- but more so, when.  

“What are... your capabilities?” Yoongi asks after a moment, watching your hands as they tear apart a piece of bread to dip it into your hot soup he bought. A warm and filling meal was a good idea to him, since it’ll keep you energized for longer than just a snack or fast food.  

You look up at him, caught off guard, as you swallow down, thinking.  

“Hm..” You hum as you think. “I.. Can read maps pretty well. And I’m good at cleaning.” You say. “But I could probably learn other things pretty quickly, if needed. It depends on the job I could get.” You explain, and Yoongi nods.  

“So if you had to learn about another species’ health and how to care for it, you could learn quickly?” He asks, and you nod.  

“If.. Given enough recourses to teach myself.” You mumble, continuing to eat. He’s getting the feeling you’ve not had a filling meal in a while with how eager you are to finish all of it.  

“I will not offer you monetary compensation.” He says, and at that, you look up again. “But instead a place to sleep, regular food, and.. Basic protection.” Yoongi explains to you, and at that, you instantly nod.  

“I can do anything!” You chirp, desperate- and he carefully pushes you back down by your shoulder, calming you down again. “Really-” 

“I believe you.” He nods. “But Be aware that I am not just some traveler.” He remarks, and you nod.  

“I understand.” You say. 

“Hm. If that’s the case-” He starts, looking over to a small shop that sells different electronics. “-I’ll get the necessary equipment to finalize our agreement. Stay here- and don’t talk to anyone.” He commands, and you nod, continuing to eat while he gets up to walk into the shop. 

Many of the people inside this shop are wearing the distinctive blinking tiny tracker around their necks- either from a simple leather collar, something more sleek like a silver hoop, or even one with a chain. It’s to be expected, as most of what is sold here is equipment for ‘personnel’, as it’s called across the galaxy, after the term ‘slave’ had been outlawed and categorized as a slur.  

Yoongi can feel the eyes on him, since the tall, green-skinned lady at the counter most likely waiting just like the rest of them for another person to follow him to buy equipment for him, as it’s normal for his kind- but the second he picks out a combination of a tracker, and EID tag, and a simple, silver collar that wouldn’t stain or sit too tight around your neck, people become interested.  

“Size is a bit small for you, kitty.” The alien woman giggles, scanning the items to add the price of everything together. “You know how to set the EID up?” She says, clicking at the end of her sentences a foreign tone, similar to an insect. 

“I know how it works.” He tells her, voice stable and monotone, something he taught himself to never give away any sign of his actual emotions. Because showing them will show weakness- and Yoongi needs to keep up an appearance of indifference at all times, just so people can never quite figure him out.  

People naturally fear the unknown, down the line, no matter the species.  

“Alright. Just out of curiosity though..” She says, clicking sounding again as she narrows her dark eyes at him while he pays. “...who the hell wants to be under the command of a Xaqal?” She says, some people in the small store giggling to themselves as if a joke had been told.  

“Someone who will live a fairly comfortable life from now on.” He simply answers, payment confirmed by her system, before he takes the bag of items, and leaves- gazes following him long after he exited the store.  

He’s relieved to still find you right where he left you, no one seemingly having tried to take you away, or worse yet- so he taps your shoulder to gain your attention, nodding towards his ship in the distance. “Let’s go. I need to set up your EID after we take off.” He says, and you nod, getting up to follow him.  

“Are- are you sure I’m a good choice?” You ask, walking after him like some lost pet, eager to keep up with his rather fast pace. For a Xaqal, he’s surprisingly tall- not quite as tall as some of the other human’s you’ve met, which normally are considered a shorter species, but also not as short as some of the Xaqals you’ve seen in the past.  

“Are you trying to sway my mind?” He wonders, opening the cargo door to his spaceship, before he climbs in- noticing how you don’t follow. So he walks back, and has to swallow down a laugh- because you clearly struggle to somehow pull yourself up on the iron steps, which are too high off the ground for you to properly reach with your legs. “...well, at least you won’t take up too much space on the ship.” He mumbles to himself, before he holds onto one of the metal handles on the sides, before he pulls you up by your arm so that you can make it onto the steps, able to finally climb inside.  

He’ll adjust the steps in the future. Maybe add one. Or rather three. 

Back in the main navigation center of the ship, where your sleeping bag is still laying in front of the front windows, you sit down right there, as if you’ve accepted this spot as your place to exist.  

The ship calms after it breaks orbit, softly flying through the empty space while Yoongi sets up the EID tag for you. The electronic identification device opens a new window on his control panel as he places it on the scanner he has, asking for him to input the necessary information- and he looks over at you, where you sit, looking out the window.  

“Once I set this up, it can’t just be undone.” He tells you, and you snap your head towards him, before you nod. “Alright.” He mumbles putting in his own information and ID number as your set ‘Employer’- scanning the chip placed onto the bone of his forearm, before he waves you over. “Put your arm here.” He tells you, and you do- though nothing is scanned at all, no matter how you twist or turn your arm. Yoongi’s brows furrow. “Where’s your ID-chip?” He asks, and you perk up, before you turn around, pointing somewhat to a spot on your back.  

“My spine- it should be between my shoulders.” You say.  

“Spine?” He mumbles, unsure. The spine is not a good spot to place an ID chip, no matter how small it is- it could still dislodge and get in between important nerves or even the vertabrae, causing damage that would be potentially fatal. “Why is it there?” He asks, picking up the scanner to run it over your back- a beep signalling that the chip had been found, and sucessfully read by the device.  

“As far as I know, most humans and Yon get it there, because its harder to get out.” You explain, having turned around to curiously watch Yoongi tap away all the info into your future identification. “Because, you know, Humans and Yon are popular Personnel. People would just chop their arms off and exchange it for a prosthetic later after they'd take them and put them up for sale. So to combat that, we get the chip on the spine instead.” You say, and Yoongi cringes to himself, realizing now why he sees so many humans and Yon people with a prosthetic.  

“I’ll research any risks to make sure you’re not doing any tasks that might end up immobilizing you.” He mumbles as he finishes up the settings, the red blinking light on the EID tag turning a steady green, signalling that it’s ready to be worn.  

“Oh, don’t worry. The chip is attached to the bone, so it doesn’t move.” You inform him, and that reassures him quite a bit, as he nods, and uses quite a lot of force to clip the tag onto the silver collar- metal snapping into place, making it hard to get it off again.  

“Alright. Come here.” He tells you, and you almost proudly stand straight, offering your neck to him as he clips the collar around you- electronic lock clicking shut, never to open again for anyone else but him. “Is that alright?” He asks, and you nod, while he tests- slipping two fingers between the metal and your neck, just to make sure it’s not too tight. “Alright.” 

“Alright.” You mirror, getting only a mild reaction from him.  

“I’ll order some books and electronic information devices for you to study. We’ll pick them up at the next outpost.” He informs you, and you nod, taking this as a signal that you’ve been dismissed- so you walk back to the sleeping bag, sitting down on it to look out the window again.  

“Can I.. sleep a bit?” You wonder, and Yoongi nods.  

“I don’t need you right now, so you can rest.” He accepts, and at that, you eagerly crawl into the sleeping bag again to sleep once more, giving him a moment to think about what he’d just done.  

He blames his instincts, the fact that his kind lives in groups and usually prefers company at all times. Maybe it’s the fact that he actually does need someone to be able to help take care of his health if a job went south. Or maybe, he just can’t shed the way he’s been raised, even though he’s not that kind person anymore. Even still, he feels odd, looking at you asleep in front of those large windows.  

Like he just got himself entangled into something a lot more complicated than he believes right now. 

[annalacerda17]

I've been thinking about the fandom's attitude toward trauma, and I find it deeply problematic. I'm going to ramble a bit about it.

Here's the thing, either people completely dismiss the element of trauma in the story, or they turn it into a free-pass that can excuse any future shitty behavior from the character.

Specifically, when it comes to Wei Wuxian, I see that his childhood trauma from losing his parents and being left to beg on the streets, and from being made a scapegoat by Yu Ziyuan - who was extremely abusive towards him, both physically and emotionally - to the war, the trauma of being thrown into the burial mounds, and everything that happened from the moment he created the ghost path of cultivation until the first siege of the burial mounds and his death, can all be minimized or all together dismissed by certain parts of the fandom when analyzing his actions in the first life. That's part of why I hate takes that portray Wei Wuxian as oblivious to Lan Wangji's feelings or too emotionally unintelligent to understand the romance, when, actually, there was a ton of shit going on in his life and he absolutely had no energy left to think about romance, of all things. The trauma also becomes progressively more relevant when we look at Wei Wuxian's actions towards the end of his first life - because traumatic experiences kept piling up - and when we get to the battle of Nightless City and later the first siege of the Burial Mounds, it's basically impossible to separate Wei Wuxian's actions and reactions from the trauma he'd endured up until that point.

On the other hand, the certain parts of the fandom really emphasize Jiang Cheng's trauma way beyond the point where it would be relevant to do so.

Yes, Jiang Cheng had an awful childhood because his mother was abusive towards everyone around her. And I can excuse his poor temper when he was a child based on that.

And it's true that losing his parents and sect was traumatic. However, the problem is that in Jiang Cheng's case, his trauma has frequently been used to justify and, in fact, to excuse, all the atrocities he went on to commit in his adult life.

Wei Wuxian, despite his trauma, never became the abuser. In every instance where he used violence, it was either during the war, or he was provoked first. He never took the initiative to be violent or to hurt others otherwise.

Jiang Cheng was completely different. He lashed out because of jealousy and a desire to satisfy his own ego, he betrayed Wei Wuxian and the Wen Siblings, knowing that he owed them his life. And yet, his stans will insist that his past trauma is enough to excuse this behavior. I'm not going to go into how Jiang Cheng's actions were entirely voluntary in this post. Suffice to say that the book makes it quite clear that he turned against Wei Wuxian not because Wei Wuxian's prominence hurt his ego, and the other sect leaders exploited that. But the Jiang sect wouldn't have been in danger had Jiang Cheng chosen not to turn against Wei Wuxian.

I suppose my point is that at some point, trauma can no longer excuse bad behavior. And in this case, when a sane adult chooses to commit genocide, that choice cannot be excused by anything, not even by a traumatic past. When his stans say that he was a victim, they forget about his victims. Sometimes, a victim goes on to become the perpetrator.

In the novel, several characters have extremely traumatic pasts. Wei Wuxian, Jiang Cheng, Jin Guangyao. Most characters, really.

MXTX draws very clear parallels between Wei Wuxian and several of those characters. Wei Wuxian and Jin Guangyao both have a lower background in a world that bases a person's value on their birth. Jiang Cheng and Wei Wuxian both lived with Yu Ziyuan for several years, they both watched Lotus Pier fall, they both lost Jiang Yanli. Wei Wuxian and Xue Yang both came from a lower social background, they were both street kids at one point, they were both victims of societal injustice.

And yet, Wei Wuxian chose to break the cycle of abuse. No matter how much abuse he endured, how traumatic his past, he didn't go on to become the next monster, the next abuser. On the contrary, he actively chose to be kind and just and nurturing. He was only ever violent when he was forced to be so - when he had to defend himself or others. Even in Nightless City, after he'd just lost Wen Ning and Wen Qing, he wasn't the first to attack.

On the other hand, Jiang Cheng, Jin Guangyao, Xue Yang, and many others chose to continue the cycle of violence and abuse. And at some point, the trauma in their pasts can no longer excuse their later choices. Those three characters, for instance - I know there are others but I'm not going to list every single MDZS character with a traumatic past who went on to become shitty people themselves, otherwise I'd be here all day - ruined many lives themselves, often those of people who were completely unrelated to their own traumatic pasts.

And if their actions are excused because of trauma, then what about their victims? What about the Wen remnants, who were old, disabled people, and a toddler, all innocent of Wen Rouhan's crimes? What about the people Jiang Cheng captured and murdered under the suspicion of the being demonic cultivators, on the off chance of them being Wei Wuxian? And the book doesn't even confirm that those people were actually demonic cultivators, they were taken because they were suspected of being such. And nowhere in the book does it say that any of those people did anything wrong at all. And what about Qin Su and her child? What about the entire clan Jin Guangyao framed for murdering his son and exterminated under such an excuse? What about the people of Yi city? What about Xiao Xingchen, Song Lan and a-Qing? What about the nameless, innocent victims who didn't get justice?

A traumatic past can never excuse the trail of victims they left behind.

[btvs3x21]

it's really interesting to me how you can tell the level of respect azula has for mai, ty lee, and zuko through how she directs them within the confines of the fire nation's expectations of them all.

azula is someone who really values and upholds the fire nation's expectations of conformity, especially in regards to court. she herself plays her part as she's expected to. she plays by the rules her father sets for her, parrots his beliefs, renames omashu "new ozai" for her father, tasks herself with finding the avatar (zuko's fool's errand) and conquering ba sing se (iroh's greatest military failure), and is consequently ultimately hurt and betrayed when her father punishes her despite this by refusing to let her come with him during sozin's comet and giving her a meaningless title to mollify her. to her, playing by the rules that are set out for them within the fire nation, whether spoken or not, is essential, and to not play by them results in punishment. this mindset was already instilled in her before zuko's agni kai, but it was no doubt fully solidified by witnessing her brother pay for his inability to play the role he was assigned as a dutiful son and strong heir.

as a result of this, zuko is the most obvious liability of the fire nation kids in azula's eyes. he has already failed to abide by the rules once and is likely to do so again if she doesn't stop him from doing so. make no mistake, azula does not want zuko to stumble again. she manipulates him into coming home despite his wavering resolve by reminding him of what he could have and what he's always wanted (their father's respect, his honor and birthright restored, the return of a feeling of normalcy/familiarity) because she loves her brother and wants him to play the role he's supposed to successfully. if she didn't love him, she could easily have taken him home as a prisoner like her father wanted her to initially or killed him. i won't even entertain the notion that she brought him home specifically to take the heat if the avatar wasn't really dead; that is a deeply stupid thing for her to do which would result in her judgment and honor being called into serious question as she's the one who vouched that zuko killed the avatar which would be a failure in her role as the dutiful daughter and honorable princess.

so azula appeals to zuko's weaknesses to get him home because she loves him. but she still doesn't respect him because of his prior failings, so she tries to keep him on the straight and narrow within the confines of their roles in the fire nation. she confronts him about visiting their disgraced uncle in prison, tells him his actions could be misconstrued (although she knows exactly how zuko means them; she wants to remind him to play his part or suffer the consequences once more). she shuts him up in war council meetings by speaking over him so that he won't say something that would result in their father punishing him once more. she attempts to prompt him into letting her know if they should be worried about the avatar still, although he doesn't confide in her since he doesn't trust her and instead takes matters into his own hands by hiring combustion man. azula does not threaten to harm zuko herself if he fails in his role; she instead manipulates him with her knowledge of his personality and reminds him of the harm that their father will cause him if he fails.

ty lee is another problem azula thinks she needs to solve. once more, she loves ty lee, but ty lee has shown azula that she is not a reliable person to play her role as she's meant to. azula believes ty lee's failure to be even worse than zuko's, though. zuko said the wrong thing in a war council meeting because he didn't understand the rules; ty lee understood the rules, and she chose to run away anyway. this is not just ty lee being oblivious, but her choosing to intentionally disobey the rules.

so when azula comes to collect ty lee to resume playing her role, azula is initially friendly, perhaps giving ty lee the benefit of the doubt that she might have wised up, but the moment ty lee demonstrates that she is still refusing to play by the rules azula is convinced they all have to play by, azula turns to manipulations and threats of harm to pull ty lee back into line. like with zuko, azula loves ty lee but does not respect her. she knows that ty lee will not play the role society says she must unless azula coerces her into doing so. unlike with zuko, ty lee does not require multiple corrections from azula. the threat of harm once is enough for ty lee to return to her duties. noticeably, ty lee also manipulates azula a lot when she does so, showcasing her awareness of the roles they're all playing and her ability to play with the best of them.

but mai is different from zuko and ty lee. azula both loves and respects mai. yes, azula has to go out of her way to collect mai as well, but mai has moved to omashu with her parents. she never stopped playing her role. azula does not believe mai would ever stop. she respects mai's intelligence in a way she doesn't with zuko and ty lee because mai respects the rules of the game. so azula not only never utilizes threats or manipulation with mai, but she treats mai as almost an equal and allows mai to treat her as an equal. she asks mai to come along with her, and mai agrees. she promotes mai to a position of power above that of her parents, and mai obliges. she says that the trade of bumi for tom-tom is unfair, and mai calls it off. but it's not only when mai plays by the rules of the game that azula respects her and does not threaten or manipulate her to keep her in line. even when mai blatantly disobeys azula's orders, azula allows it. even when mai screams at her during the beach, azula allows it. mai knows that azula will allow it, too. she openly scoffs at the idea of azula lightningbending at her. why? because azula respects mai and her judgment. she sees mai as an equal because mai plays the game as well as azula does, including her moments of rebellion (this is undoubtedly what azula disobeying ozai by bringing zuko home under false pretenses and directly lying to him is, albeit a much higher stake rebellion than mai's refusal to search the sewers).

notably, while azula declares her intent to kill zuko after he commits treason and tells ozai that she lied to him, even when mai and ty lee take the ultimate step out of line with their roles, she doesn't allow them to be executed. i say "allow" here because she's not the fire lord, so it wouldn't be her personal decree to have them executed but rather her father's. they committed high treason. they not only aided and abetted in a prison break and the escape of some of the fire nation's most wanted but physically attacked a member of the royal family and the crown princess at that. this is a crime that's punishable by death, and yet mai and ty lee stay in their cells in boiling rock, seemingly unharmed given mai's unscathed appearance at the end of sozin's comet. ozai would have no reason to not simply execute them, but azula would since she loves them. it's entirely possible, she was on some level holding onto hope that she could coach them back into line again somehow.

but why does she hope to rehabilitate or at least preserve her friends while aiming to kill zuko? it's pretty simple: when zuko failed to play his part he did so in a way that meant azula was punished for having failed in her role as the dutiful daughter and honorable princess because she chose to play a different role that she gained nothing from playing: the role of zuko's sister. so in azula's eyes, zuko went out of his way to not only lapse in his role as the dutiful son and strong heir but to purposefully fail to play the role of her brother in a way he knew would cause her harm. do mai and ty lee also fail to play the roles of her friends while instead revealing their loyalty to someone else entirely when they betray her? yes, but them doing so does not result in ozai's wrath.

[lady-lilly-gray]

Will Elizabeth Midford Commit Suicide?

I think she might </3

Ever since I read the Emerald Witch arc (re: Chapter 105) I have wondered:

“Why bring up that Grim Reapers are humans who have committed suicide?”

Whilst it is an interesting bit of world building, everything Yana-san does is extremely intentional; so I don’t believe that such a big revelation was intended as nothing more than a throw away line.

Therefore, what is the reason for her telling us, the reader, this?

There are two reasons I can think of:

We will learn more about one (or more) of the Reaper’s suicides; OR

Someone will commit suicide, and she wants us to understand the repercussions of that in this universe.

For the first point, which reaper would we get that kind of information about?

I don’t think Yana-san would trust herself to write Grelle’s backstory, as it is more than likely linked to her gender identity.

William and Ronald have already been at the focus of arcs (Circus and Sanitorium) during which information regarding reasons/methods could have been shared or foreshadowed

Any background we do get on Othello will probably relate to his experience with Undertaker (re: after he became a Grim Reaper)

As for that point; Undertaker is the Reaper we are most likely to get a backstory on.

However most of what has been alluded to in his past has been confined to the 19th century: his desertion of the dispatch, the mourning lockets, his association with the Phantomhives. Therefore, I don’t foresee us learning about his suicide.

So that brings up the second point: Who is most likely to commit suicide?

Let’s look at some characters who have not been Doing Well when last we saw them:

Soma: I think it unlikely for Yana to kill him off after already killing off Agni. Also, since he is (at least currently) distanced from O!Ciel and the rest of the main cast, his death wouldn’t really have an impact on the narrative.

Finnian: After what happened with Doll and Snake, he may be questioning O!Ciel’s motives, but I think he intends to stay by O!Ciel’s side until the end. His flashback in the Emerald Witch Arc supports how much he values his new life.

Edward’s present conflict is mostly rooted in Lizzie’s reaction to R!Ciel’s return. He has shown to feel betrayed by O!Ciel for what happened with the Music Hall; but at least he has a support system (Cheslock, Clayton, and Harcourt are all in the same boat as him and can help each other cope with what happened).

To that point, how has Lizzie been doing? (not well)

Now, let’s look at her role in the story so far:

She is initially introduced as an overly-sweet annoying comic relief. However, the Campania arc proved this to be a façade she created for R!Ciel. At the end of the day, all she wants is to make Ciel happy.

But even before the Campania arc, there is a crucial point to her relationship with O!Ciel specifically—in the Circus arc.

“But Lilly! She’s barely even in that arc!” Yup! But she is in it—and not just in the “filler” chapter at the end. So why would our ever-intentional mangaka give her such a small role in the first arc to really kickstart the overarching plot?

Well, what is her role in this arc? She is at the Phantomhive manor when it is attacked.

When O!Ciel is informed that the circus troupe was sent to his manor, his first instinct is to be concerned for Lizzie’s safety, before ultimately entrusting the servants to protect her along with the rest of the house.

What does this mean? This means that, despite him being dismissive of her when she is first introduced, Ciel genuinely does care about her. Yes we obviously see him caring for her in the butler arcs, but this is mainly shown in ways that could be seen as having other motives, as him doing “what Ciel is expected to do.”

But in the circus arc, we simply get this reminder in O!Ciel’s mind; he is acting solely on his own subconscious. He is not trying to prove anything to anyone—these are his own genuine thoughts and concerns.

Now we can move on to the Luxury Liner arc, and what it means for Lizzie’s relationship to the twins, and to the Reapers.

That’s right, aside from O!Ciel, Lizzie is the only character we have seen have a brush with a working (i.e. not undercover) Grim Reaper and live.

Heck, Grelle was too stunned to react—it was Sebastian who stopped her (with one hand, but we’ll come back to why that’s relevant)

As for her character development in this arc, there are three scenes I’d like to look at:

The Battle in the Hold

“No matter what, I will protect you”

There is no one (sans Snake, who didn’t know R!Ciel) around to witness this, so it’s fair to say that this is O!Ciel’s own desire to protect her. He does genuinely care about her, regardless of how far those feelings go. (Yes, I’m an O!Cielizzie shipper, but that’s not the point of this theory)

The Watertight Doors

O!Ciel stays behind so as to not leave her alone. He recognises that he can’t pull her out without risking her safety, so he risks his own to stay with her.

(Yes, Sebastian can’t let him die, but he can still get badly hurt.)

I don’t love the scene of him (a CSA SURVIVOR) ripping Lizzie’s dress off, but it does give us an interesting image: Lizzie wearing his jacket for the rest of the arc. Even when she does eventually stand up and protect him, it is still his treatment/protection of her that is giving her strength to fight.

“Wife of the Queen’s Watchdog”

“She protects him; She’s so strong; She’s more than a satellite love interest; Yay!”

I won’t harp on the actual fight—ya know, the one we see from O!Ciel’s perspective!

He is shocked, he is safe. He is the younger brother, the one who grew up sick and weak, used to being protected by Ciel and the rest of his family. Now his fiancée (if in name only) has also come to his rescue, in spite of what he his brother told her in the past. Even though she doesn’t know it in the moment, O!Ciel is the first of the twins whom she feels comfortable revealing this “unladylike” side of herself to.

Because, more importantly, when she is showing this side of herself, she refers to herself as The Wife of the Queen’s Watchdog.

This phrasing interests me since R!Ciel has never officially held the position of Watchdog.

Additionally, so far as I can recall, Lizzie is not aware of O!Ciel being on the ship for Watchdog Reasons™—so why bring it up in the first place? To further intertwine her fate with O!Ciel’s (if you ask me).

Last we saw of Lizzie (7 YEARS AGO), she was on the verge of a breakdown for not being able to tell the twins apart. Specifically, she was evaluating how much of the love she felt for O!Ciel was due to him acting like his brother—and how much of her love was due to him acting like himself, like when she protected him on the Campania?

“Lilly, this is interesting and all, but the main focus of the story is O!Ciel and Sebastian’s contact! What does it matter which twin Lizzie is in love with?”

True: the main story is O!Ciel’s contract with Sebastian; and I think most of us believe it will end with O!Ciel’s death. So, is there anything holding him to life at present—once his revenge is enacted, that is?

Given the (all but confirmed) theory that the Phantomhive manor was attacked because of something relating to Vincent’s work for the Queen, I believe that:

The position of Watchdog must die with O!Ciel.

This will also directly counteract Undertaker’s intentions of protecting the Phantomhives, to the point of trying to revive them.

O!Ciel is slated to die per his contract, and R!Ciel is already dead, and will probably be killed once again. So that’s the end, right?

Wrong

O!Ciel is not the only living “spare heir” to the Phantomhive family: Frances Midford is.

Side note: she more than likely was at the very least consulted regarding this position when it was believed there were no survivors of the attack on the Manor. Remember, this was the same time when Lizzie fell into a depressive spiral.

And who is Frances’s heir? In peerage, Marquess outranks Earl, so Edward would not be demoted to Earl Phantomhive; which makes the next Phantomhive heir Elizabeth.

Now, if Lizzie were to die, Frances would not have an heir; and with no prospect of having any more children (not biologically impossible, but still unlikely at her age) would Victoria even bother bequeathing the role to her? Most likely not. (Even if she did, though, Frances is likely to outlive Victoria, who died in 1901.)

If Lizzie were to be killed, she would no longer be in the story; but if she killed herself we would see her again—as a Grim Reaper.

Yana-san loves her foreshadowing, so let’s look at chapter 117: Lizzie versus Sebastian

The first time they fight, it is with regards to R!Ciel. Could this be a set up for another fight between the two over O!Ciel? Oh, but if it is, Sebastian would not go easy on her.

He acknowledges that she is strong, but still no match for his demonic abilities. If she’s to stand a chance against his full demon capabilities, she’d need supernatural strength of her own…like that she would acquire as a reaper.

Additionally, this fight already shows Lizzie’s growth as a fighter. As I mentioned earlier, when she turns her sword on Grelle during the fight with the Bizarre Dolls, Sebastian stops her with one hand (two fingers, actually!) But when they fight at the Music Hall,  he needs two hands to stop her.

What will happen when next they meet? (I hope we find out soon!)

Whilst I can’t say with absolute certainty that this is the direction Yana-san intends to take the story/Lizzie’s character, I think it would be a fascinating narrative direction to take Lizzie’s character arc in.

And maybe, if Sebastian is taken down, but O!Ciel’s soul cannot be saved, Reaper!Lizzie can at least be the one to collect it, cradling him in his final moments as he drifts away from her forever…

To End on a Positive Note, here are some fun details that Reaper!Lizzie could entail:

She could kill Sebastian to save O!Ciel with an act of true love; and they get to be together. If the Grandpa Undertaker theory is true, Reaper!Lizzie x O!Ciel would be a fun parallel to Undertaker x Claudia, another Reaper x Watchdog pairing.

Pseudo-Crack Theory! Having Lizzie become a reaper, or even having her commit suicide after O!Ciel’s death, could open the doors for a spin-off series about the Grim Reaper Dispatch that opens with Lizzie’s death; and, through her eyes, we get a fun office comedy about the daily lives of the Eternally Damned <3