#spermicide would work too

[punks-never-die205]

Talking about dicks... Would Kid pull out? 🤔🤨

Oh yeah, if you ask for it, certainly.

Finishing inside is great, but covering your skin with his cum, smearing it around your skin with his good hand, and then making you lick it clean?

Hells yeah he’s down for that.

Plus, pulling out is a statistically significant form of birth control. Best to use with something else, like a diaphragm or OBC/IUD, but even on its own it’s something like 80%-ish effective. (A lot higher than I expected, honestly, in today we learn.)

[airplanned]

What are the top five worst comments on your work?

I'm going to do the ones that are the most wtf and not the ones that hurt my feelings the most (although some of them did at the time). I've been writing for a while, and people are bananas.

The ones at the beginning of Displaced on ff.net. The critique was that I got the cost to sleep in a bed in a stable wrong. I would disagree, because it was the cost to sleep in 2 beds and the cost of 2 meals, which is not actually a thing you can buy in BotW. I edited to remove the amount and kept it vague, but I now regret doing that. The critique was that if I couldn't be bothered to get the details right, no one was going to like it. I was like, "Oh shit! There's no way I'm gonna get all these details right. I might as well quit now." This critique is now hilarious, given...*gestures around at Displaced.*

Condom-gate. So I researched how far back in history condoms were a thing. I spent way too long on this. I found that they go back much further than you'd suspect, and were made mostly of things like mouse skin, and while they had some success preventing conception they did not prevent STDs, partially because people would reuse them. (Screaming.) Confident in my research, I mentioned the condom. I did not say all of this that I had discovered, because I found it very gross, would ruin the mood, and it was not at all important to the story. Then everyone lost their damn minds thinking that I had included a condom made of latex with spermicide in it and ribbed for her pleasure or whatever. "You've made this unreadable" was one of the reviews. (Also, I'd like to point out that this story took place in a fantasy world where there's magic and shit. There is no "back then.") I edited the chapter by one word: a modifier saying what it was made of. The TV tropes page for the story says something like "Ned changed it to be historically accurate after people pointed out he did it wrong." I am still salty.

There was a critique on Doubt, which is a Zelda modern AU. The critique was "anachronisms are your Achilles heel." It was a modern AU.

The 1,500+ word essay on how I wrote Iroh abusive. I disagree. This was left on chapter 24 or something. They were very mad.

The comments on how Zelda should not be wasting her time with her childish nonsense and should instead be restoring the monarchy, missing one of the main themes of Displaced. One of these cited Meghan Markel???

Shout out to the anon that hates the awkward fail sex that I love to write. That was weird and very rude, but if they were talking about Soft Science I agree there was some awkward structuring there. But they specifically cited the Proposition AU, where there was sex, so IDK what they're on about.

[pupyr0arz]

more random Gaz food. He’s trans btw. Is this dubcon? Probably. TLDR Kyle wants you two to have a baby and figures it’s best to ask forgiveness than ask permission. Also he doesn’t plan to ask for forgiveness. Accidents happen

You’re so trusting, so open and earnest. Kyle finds it beautiful, the way you lean into the relationship with a sigh of relief, settling down so easily he knows you feel the gentle intertwining in your soul just the same as he does. It’s really the only difference between the two of you, you offer everything about yourself up on a silver platter for Kyle, Kyle who is made a drooling, ravenous beast at the sight of you, and he hides himself under the bed and in the bug he tucks into your clothes. You’re just too naive, Kyle has seen too much of the world to let you get hurt by it. 

He doesn’t plan to lie to you forever. He tucks away his claws and dulls his teeth. He’ll mask the smoke and stench of blood with lavender. He would for every day of his life without a hint of regret for you, but Kyle is going to tell gou everything one day, but people jump to conclusions. He doesn’t blame you, he doesn’t not trust you either, he just understands that you’re not working from a fully informed position and you might, god forbid, do something rash.

Kyle has a day or two when he begins preparations for the first attempt. He’s let you out of the house, off to complete errands with a cute smile on your face and a kiss to both your cheeks, and he waits at the door with baited breath until the sounds of your footsteps fade away. When the hallway falls silent he shuts the door with a click and takes a deep, steadying breath. 

The two of you keep your condoms in the dresser besides the bed, and he combs the house in search of any other, even a stray one between the couch cushions. The extras are tossed out, wrapped up in toilet paper and hidden in other trash in case he doesn’t get the chance to bring it to the dumpster himself. He takes a safety pin and sits on the bed, cross cross apple sauce, and pokes holes in them, seven in each in a little star shape. You haven’t bought spermicidal condoms in a while now, Kyle’s persistent complaints about getting uncomfortable pains and horror stories about UTIs and rashes had made you toss out the whole package out of worry.

It warms his heart to see you so considerate of his health and comfort, and he doesn’t see the harm in indulging a reward for you, swallowing until you tear the sheets with your nails. You don’t notice, too preoccupied with the way Kyle is cleaning your cock with wide sweeps of his tongue, but he finds it cute anyways.

It’s pretty simple for him to lie about his own fertility. He usually takes his pills before his morning run while you putter around in the kitchen. Poor, sweet, trusting you, you don’t even think about touching the bottle, or keeping track yourself. The app he kept on his phone is deleted without fanfare, and honestly it just drives home how necessary this all is. How easy it would be for someone else to take advantage of you, and your sweet easy nature. Kyle is just planning for both of your futures.

[aikoiya]

I know this might be gross, but I was reading your Ganondorf headcanons thing (which I love btw) and it made me wonder how many kids would Ganondorf and his Darling have in total? Would it vary on the version?

Additionally, do you think contraception is a thing in Hyrule? Like, they have cameras in botw, so it wouldn't be mad to assume they have the pill, too, right?

I don't consider this gross. In fact, it's a good question. One that I hadn't really thought too much about.

Yeah, I definitely think that it would depend on the Dorf how many kids they'd have. But, in general, I think he'd be pretty satisfied 4 minimum. Like, he'd learn to be okay with just 2, but a couple iterations would actually be legitimately overjoyed for a more 'Cheaper By The Dozen" type of situation.

As for contraception. Man, people have had contraception for hundreds of years & it had nothing to do with a society's industrial progress. More so, it had more to do with herbalism & pharmacognostic studies back then, which was basically the precursor to the medical field.

For one, women in the Middle Ages had a wide range of different ways to prevent pregnancy. One of which, much like today, involved keeping track of their menstrual cycle & regulating it. Then using that, sus out when contraceptives would actually be affective.

Another method from the ancient Egyptians was to mix honey with grated Acacia leaves, soak it into a rag & women would insert it... ya know... there... in an attempt to prevent reproduction. And, according to modern day research, this was actually probably very successful as not only are they both spermicides, but honey is also sticky, which, apparently, prevented sperm mobility.

And, according to historic documentation, they actually had a very good idea of how the female body worked. Which, for whatever reason, people seem to generally believe that just because people weren't as advanced as we are now, that this means that people were stupid back then. But this couldn't be further from the truth.

So, yes, I actually believe that Hyrule would absolutely have contraceptives. And, in fact, I'd honestly be shocked if they didn't.

Though, I also think that, based upon the Gerudo's general biological circumstances, they, just as a culture, would likely see contraceptives as bad.

Not that this is true, but that's just the vibe I get.

Thank you for your question! Have a good evening!

[merv606]

Puritanverse idea: Terry and Daniel keep on getting interrupted when they try to have sexytimes due to having a bunch of toddlers who always need something—especially their sweet, doting mama. Daniel is always torn between wanting to comfort and help his puppies, and wanting to please his Alpha (and of course wanting his Alpha himself). It gets to the point where Daniel is putting his puppies before his Alpha over and over and not seeing to his Alpha’s needs—and Terry is simply not having it anymore. His Danny boy will have to learn a lesson about being a good little Omega to his Alpha.

Well, his boy doesn’t need a lesion so much as a gentle reminder.

Terry is his first (and only) alpha and he had gotten him with pup so quick.

The second one was no better, shortly after the first pup, and wasn’t planned. Terry had actually wanted to give his precious omega time to settle into this new role before giving their pup a sibling - but Terry refused to take Daniel anything but bare, “no self respecting alpha would.”

He had fully intended to pull out, he did - but the boy pleading and crying out on his cock, how tight he felt, “just as tight at the night I first had you,” and after going so long without it, well, the road to hell is paved with good intentions because once he started to leak well …. The alpha had imagined him full again, their pup on his hip, while another one grew inside him, then before Terry knew it, he was biting down on the mating mark, omega going limp, pussy spasming around his cock, which was his undoing, as he grabbed his omega’s soft hips impaling him on his cock as he shot deep inside.

The twins after had been a failure of their birth control - a cervical cap was used. Terry didn’t want to take a chance of pills changing his scent - and it worked for a little while until one night, during a long and particularly intense breeding session, something he still liked to do even if they knew they were preventing it from taking, the cap shifted and all that night his womb was flooded with his alpha’s seed, and it had taken.

Terry may have also forgotten to put the spermicide in before inserting it into his omega. Maybe.

So four pups, in well under four years.

Daniel had said maybe four was the perfect number and Terry had agreed, although once the two oldest were in school Terry was planning to bred him again - accidents will happen after all.

They have all the help they can get - nannies during the day to help Daniel, and at night to tend to the pups while they get much needed sleep. His little mate needs to be rested to tend to both Terry and the pups after all. That Terry was adamant about.

After the first pup and becoming pregnant with the second so fast, he was wearing himself out.

So now, he pumps throughout the day so there is fresh milk for them during the night although the youngest is fussy sometimes and won’t accept a bottle.

This allows for him to be super focused and attendant to his pups during the day.

His boy had been resistant first, to help, but being with pup after pup, while caring for them, Terry was able to help him see reason, and the current agreement was struck.

But lately, Daniel has been hinting about a fifth - which may be more a request due to the hormones at this time, the youngest pup almost 6 months, and not logical thought.

Terry though, he can use that to his advantage.

It’s all he can think about now too - his mate swollen with life again.

So Terry stands in the doorframe of the nursery, watching Daniel tend to their youngest. They had been unable to get him to settle with the bottle. Terry waits until the youngest has finished feeding, before handing her off to one of the nannies, telling her that they were not to be interrupted for the next several hours, at least.

“It is almost their nap time, anyway.”

“But I like putting them for their nap,” Daniel pouts.

“There will be plenty more naps for you to help with,” he soothes. “Right now your husband has needs that require attending to … right now your husband is just trying to give you another pup.”

His hand slips inside the hastily buttoned up shirt, feeling the wetness there, the omega whimpering.

“And how else am I to place that pup in you? If you won’t give me more special alone time?”

He gave his alpha special alone time this morning, his husband having him almost as soon as they woke up, on his hands and knees, pounding into him from behind. Then once more in the shower, Terry on his knees with Daniel’s leg over his shoulder to open him up for Terry to eat him out. Making the little omega squirt he came so hard before taking him, his back braced against the wet shoulder wall, riding up and down with his alpha’s sting thrusts.

Still, his husband’s lust was always strong. Only intensifying after breeding him, and he had started to show.

“Am I not satisfying you Alpha,” he asks. He simply wishes to be a good mate and omega to their pups.

“Of course,” Terry soothes, cutting that line of thinking off, knowing how upset his little mate gets at the mere thought of such a thing. “But,” he continues, fingers deftly undoing the buttons of the shirt, his other hand undoing his own belt and pants, “the more special alone time you give me the more seed I fill you with, and the better our chances, after all.”

Daniel blushes stuttering out about how the nannies will know.

Terry tries not to laugh.

As if they don’t already know how good Daniel gets it.

Between his always swollen belly, his cries of pleasure as his alpha has his husbandly rights, the scent of his alpha’s come inside him he Carrie’s around, never without it, the sweet scent of milk because of Terry, and the other changes his body have gone through because of the alpha’s desire.

As if Terry doesn’t know about the bet they have ongoing about when Daniel will be announcing he’s with pup again.

Whoever has this week is going to win, because as Terry buries himself into the omega’s wet, desperate cunt, and his face in his neck, biting down, he can not only smell but taste how absolutely ripe he is.

[daughters-of-liberty]

I hate birth control too and noticed some of the same symptoms you mentioned. If you don’t want kids, how should you go ahead preventing conception then? Any ideas?

Well, I do want kids. And the only reason I was on bc before was because we weren't married yet, and we were living with his parents. But now we're in a good place physically. Would be great if we were able to save up some money before we started having kids, but personally, if I get pregnant now, it wouldn't be a big deal. We wouldn't just be able to "make it work" like when we were living with his parents; it'd be an exciting new adventure for us.

But, because the conditions are perfect for us to become parents (though when is it ever?), we're tracking my cycle. I use the Flo app to see when my period is supposed to come, and when I'm supposed to ovulate. But there are some great natural family planning apps and services out there in sure some people could recommend.

I also personally use spermicide, though its only really needed half the time, and we also use the pull out method when I'm close to ovulation, in conjunction with the spermicide. It works for us. No pregnancy scares since getting off bc so far, which was back at the start of the year.

Now, I know spermicide is not allowed by the catholic church, so this advice won't work for everyone that follows me, but I have found that it works for us. Thankfully, neither of us have any sensitivity to it either.

Its also good including your husband in this talk. I know some women, even in the trad community, who don't feel the need to talk about "girl stuff" with their husbands, or even think thats a good idea. Personally, I think that's silly. I find that sharing information with him makes him just as attentive to my needs as I am. In fact, most of the time while lovemaking, he'll be the one to say "hey, are you ovulating right now? Do you need the spermicide?" Because I'm a little flighty on that, especially in the moment.

In summary: natural family planning, spermicide, pull out method, and effective communication with your spouse.

[ziskandra]

I fucking love Crazy Ex-Girlfriend! I don't think I've met another fan in the wild!

What's your favorite song?

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is such a good show! (And semi-relatedly, my fifth-most written for fandom after my main three and ... HP). Choosing just one song was too difficult, so I've gone with some of my favourites.

(NB. It would be remiss of me not to note that the way I got into Crazy Ex-Girlfriend in the first place was through @daishannigans sending me a link to Oh My God I Think I Like You saying it reminded her of my Ryder sdjksd) Gettin' Bi Oh yeah, I'm lettin' my bi flag fly Not gonna hide it, not gonna lie I'm a bi kinda guy There's no reason to be shy My, oh, my, it's a fact I can't deny I'm bi, bi, bi until the day I die Where's the Bathroom Don't interrupt me, you're always with the talking I just got off a plane, give me a moment to catch my breath It's the least you can do since you lived inside me for nine months And you still haven't told me Where the hell your stupid bathroom is Oh My God I Think I Like You Are there condoms that can prevent these feelings? Is there spermicidal lubricant that can kill the fluttering in my heart? Is there an IUD that can stop the image of you and me?

Getting married on a hillside Surrounded by ducks And then we get into a rowboat I Go to the Zoo Man, when's it gonna stop? When's it gonna end? Sometimes even the zoo isn't enough So then

I go to the aquarium It's like a zoo for fishes

A Diagnosis For almost 30 years, I've known something was wrong But Mom said weakness causes bloating, so I tried to be strong Fake it till you make it, that's how I got by And when I tried to find the reason for my sadness and terror All the solutions were trial and error Take this pill, say this chant, move here for this guy But now there's no need for regret 'Cause I'm about to get A diagnosis! Don't Be a Lawyer Law school debt, daily regret Is that what you dreamed of as a kid? Or did you hope one day That you'd find a way to spend four years Working on a pharmaceutical company's Merger with another pharmaceutical company?

Anti-Depressants Are So Not A Big Deal

From the moment that we learn to walk and speak Our parents tell us, "Everyone's unique" Now, I'm not saying that advice is bad But honey, you're not special 'cause you're sad (Not special, no you're not)

[vergess]

now i have an idea to write (consensusal) unhinged/r.a.c.k mina/jack/jonathan but also none of the parties wants jack getting pregnant by jonathan in particular but he still will take the risk and my struggle™️ is not easily finding good sources for victorian birth control/practices regardless of legality 😔 this wasn't in my 2022 bingo etc

CORRECTION: Contraception was made illegal in the US at the time. I've heard people say this was true of the UK too, but I literally cannot find any corroborating sources. So, Mina et al probably just used whatever they felt like for birth control.

And there were a lot of options!

Family planning was a big deal and Jack's got two prescriber licenses and pharmacies were not exactly the dystopian white wall spaces we have today.

So, you can easily justify him having access to any of the following:

'Cervical/womb veils' icluding the entire range of what today we call internal condoms, diaphragms and cervical caps. Rubber technology was good enough by 1845 to make these fairly widespread. My understanding is, they were generally more popular with married women than working girls, which makes sense given how finnicky they are.

Cervical injection, aka using a needle to wash the cervix out with a spermicidal solution after sex. This was actually considered rather Old Fashioned by the 1890s but would have been well known.

External condoms were more popular in the US, but fortunately Jack's good friend Quincey would know all about that. They had been made of animal products or treated fabric for centuries, but the more durable, comfortable rubber ones we use today had been invented by the 1870.

Vaginal sponges either dry to absorb semen or, more effectively, soaked in oils to reduce sperm mobility and spermicidal chemicals.

Spermicidal suppository: A newcomer by the 1890s, these were popular but among the most inconsistent methods available.

Hormonal methods were rare. Hormones were only identified in 1890 and wouldn't even be named for another 15 years. But, they weren't unknown, just poorly understood. Mostly, these were used for abortion, not contraception.

Additionally, basically all of the methods of abortion we have today existed in less advanced forms then. Assuming Jack still menstruates regularly enough to notice the delay, he could probably self-administer a vacuum removal with tools available at the time.

Otherwise, VH would certainly be able to administer any other methods, including induced miscarriage and menstruation, which today we tend to do with a combination misoprosotl/mifeprestone tablet, and at the time would likely involve those 'poorly understood' hormonal treatments.

THE FOLLOWING IS OUTDATED MEDICAL INFORMATION. IF YOU NEED AN ABORTION IN A RESTRICTED AREA, PLEASE DO NOT TRY THESE. THEY SHOULD BE PERFORMED ONLY UNDER MEDICAL SUPERVISION AS THE RISK OF POISONING IS HIGH. NONE OF THESE ARE AS SAFE AND EFFECTIVE AS MODERN MEDICINES.

All of these methods assume Jack would be able to identify conception within one month of intercourse.

Citrus juice diet (controlled vitamin C overdose). Highly unpleasant. Causes massive digestive pain. Interferes with progesterone production and can prevent implantation or cause miscarriage early in pregnancy. Purified vitamin c wasn't a thing yet, and citric acid (not ascorbic) is responsible for most of the side effects.

Parsley juice and pessary: Used alongside citrus juice to soften the cervix allowing the miscarriage, if induced, to pass more easily. If used immediately after sex, can sometimes cause menstruation early, preventing implantation.

Cotton root (like, from a cotton plant) at high enough doses can cause uterine spasms, which may be enough to expel a fertilized egg.

Wild carrot seed. DO NOT CONFUSE FOR HEMLOCK WHEN FORAGING. Another implantation inhibitor, generally used from the time of the sex until menstruation occurs naturally, so more of an emergency contraception than anything. Also more popular in the US, since the wild carrot grows so well here it borders on invasive.

[snitling]

I'm finally seeing Rick and Morty s5 and I have some small comments:

We ought to be talking about "enough is enough" in the Go-tron episode. Rick's sad agreement, the fact that he and Morty have discussed this and set boundaries, and the fact that Rick went SO FAR off the deep end, so fast #JustMentalIllnessThings

The Voltron parody made me laugh out loud, that is exactly what that show is like

Mr Nimbus and Rick used to fuck amirite

I think I actually work with a Jerry, but without his charm. She too lacks awareness and has a clumsy need to be liked at all times

Morty's speech about how alone he feels and how Planetina made him feel like he belongs got me

Why the fuck didn't they just shoot the egg when they realised it would be a giant incest baby? What you're gonna cover the walls in spermicide but it's too hard for you to just shoot the nucleus out of a giant egg??

[auntie-social-acab]

I was raised fundamental. Fundamentalists believe that al forms of birth control are/cause abortions. Barrier methods contain spermicide (even ones that don’t), which fundamentalists believe cause abortions. Since they believe that life begins at conception, methods like hormonal birth control or even copper IUD’s are abortifacients. This will not stop with removing abortion protections, this is just the beginning of removing all bodily autonomy (for women, disabled people, and poc).

When I was younger, there was this “not of this world (notw) movement, which firmly stated the Bible verse “you are not of this world.” People had T-shirt’s, jewelry, bumper stickers, etc., claiming that they are not of this world. Jesus even said that a christian’s citizenship is not of this world, but of Heaven. I firmly believe that this movement gave way to the current “we must bring God’s law to earth” movement going on now because too many Christians were taking Jesus at his word and focusing on, you know, His Word, and not concerning themselves with politics.

The Left Behind series was huge then, especially the “rapture” ideal, where Christians believed God would call us home on the middle of the day (where we could extend both middle fingers (lovingly in Christ!) to the unbelievers as our last act of defiance, screaming “I told you so!” The entire way), but even that has taken a back seat to this current belief that we must make the entire world Christian.

It’s the paradox of evangelicism, that god is somehow The Biggest Ever and yet still too weak to work and move in a society that is completely disinterested in him.

The fundamentalists are United at this point. If they continue to get their way, divides will come, but for most of us those divides will mean nothing. If they can put aside their various issues to accomplish their goals, everyone else should too when it comes to fighting them. They are scary. Living that way is nearly impossible. You do not want the fundamentalists to get any more power than they already have.

[atlafan]

My Everything - Part Thirteen

A Take it Slow Sequel

What happens with Harry and Y/N after he proposes? How will the two navigate the engaged life while also continuing to juggle their jobs, friends, and families? Let’s find out.

Warnings: Fluff and Smut! 7K

Masterpost

You and Harry had gotten into the habit of singing Jack to sleep at night, and he seemed to really like it. It was something nice for the two of you to do together. Your hormones were starting to level back out too, which was great. Having Anne around was a huge help too. Gemma had come to visit for a couple of weeks, but she couldn’t stay much longer than that.

Nannie had come up around Father’s Day, so your mom had a big cookout for everyone, even your dad came so you could all be together. You had just missed the mark for Mother’s Day, of course, but you were happy to celebrate Harry. He needed the reassurance since he was putting so much pressure on himself.

“Oy! Look at those cheeks!” Nannie says as she holds Jack. She gives him a nice big kiss. “Now that is delicious, absolutely delicious.”

Tons of pictures are taken to show the four generations of people there. Harry was happy Anne was there too. Not that he didn’t like your family, but it was always nice to have a buffer. Plus he enjoyed seeing her interact with everyone.

“You look so good, honey.” Nannie says to you.

“Oh, thanks, yeah, I’m not where I want to be, but getting there.”

“Your body will never look the way it did.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” You laugh.

“All I’m saying is, you’re healthy right?”

“Yeah.”

“So don’t stress too much.” She gives you a reassuring smile.

//

You were passed the six week mark, and you were more than cleared to have sex again, but you were extremely nervous. You weren’t sure if you wanted to go back on the pill or not, maybe use an IUD for a bit until you were ready for another kid. There was a lot to consider. It didn’t help either when you got your first real period for the first time in eleven months. You were raging, and Harry did his best to stay out of your way, but the summer heat wasn’t exactly helping either.

“Are you okay?!” You looked paler than a ghost when you came back out to join him on the couch with Jack.

“Yeah.” You sit back down and sigh. “I just threw up.”

“Why?!”

“Because…I can’t even begin to describe the clot of blood that just came out of me, dude. Like, never in my life have I been so disgusted by my own bodily function.” You look at him.

“Here, uh, take him. I’m gonna get you a big glass of ice water.” He hands the baby to you and he gets up. You take the glass of water from him as he sits back down, and takes Jack back.

“Harry, we should talk about birth control. I have a doctor’s appointment coming up.”

“Alright, what do you feel like doin’?”

“I have zero idea. I could go back on the pill, but that means readjusting to new hormone shit. I mean any form could mean that. I was thinking of maybe an IUD, but those are risky. I truthfully can’t see us using condoms all the time, and if we slip up that could mean another baby, and I’d sort of like to stick with one for a while if that’s alright with you.”

“Yeah, of course. Let’s see how things go with him first.” He smiles. “Maybe the pill is the best option then? You know what you’re like when you’ve been on it.”

“But I’m scared that if I go on it again now that when we do want another one we’ll have issues like before. Ugh, I have no idea what to do.”

“See what Dr. Johnson thinks, I mean, she deals with this stuff all the time. She might know what’s best.”

“I miss having sex with you, I’ll get it figured out soon.”

“I miss it too, but I also want you to take care of yourself. You’ve put your body through enough already because of me.”

“See, when you say stuff like that, it makes me want to have sex with you.” You groan.

“So, you want me to be less nice to you?” He laughs.

“No, you’re pretty sexy when you’re rude too.” You smirk.

“Think that’s just your hormones talkin’, love.”

“Maybe.” You shrug. “I’m also a little nervous to have sex again…what if it, like, really hurts?”

“We’re not exactly strangers to taking things slow in that department. We can start out doing little things. I could just eat you out.” He grins.

“Aw, it’ll be like when we first started dating.” You giggle. “How romantic.” You roll your eyes.

“Last thing I wanna do is hurt you, so we’ll just take it easy, small steps.”

//

“Everything has healed up nicely, Y/N.” Dr. Johnson tells you. “You can sit up now.”

“Thanks.”

“Any discomfort going to the bathroom?”

“Not so much anymore…but I had my first period, and it was disgusting.”

“That can happen.” She nods. “Your body’s still letting a lot of things out, you know?”

“Right. Um, I had some questions about sex and stuff.”

“Oh, you’ve been cleared-“

“No, I know, I guess I was just wondering about birth control. I know Harry and I are gonna want another kid at some point, and it took us longer than I thought to get pregnant with Jack. I’m scared that if I go on some form of it that we’ll run into trouble again, but I also really don’t wanna use condoms all the time.” You sigh. “But I don’t wanna accidentally get pregnant again right away.”

“I think an IUD might be best then. It’s less hormonally invasive, and when you take it out you can try for baby.”

“Aren’t there more risks? Harry, uh, well, he can get in pretty, um, deep.” You blush. “It could get jostled.”

“If your husband is ramming into your uterus, then I think we have bigger problems.” She laughs. “It goes in through an opening in your cervix and into the uterus. Sex can’t jostle it. We wouldn’t use them if it did.”

“Oh, I guess that was kind of stupid then.”

“It’s alright. No stupid questions.” She looks at you. “There’s a copper one that doesn’t have any hormones. It essentially works like spermicide. There are strings on the end of it that you can sort of feel to make sure it’s in place. But Harry shouldn’t be able to feel it during sex. You can still us tampons. I could do it for you today if you want, the procedure doesn’t take long.”

“What if he’s fingering me? We do a lot of that…” You blush again.

“If you’re doing that he may feel the strings, but-“

“Or what if he’s going down on me?”

“Y/N.” She sighs. “You don’t have to decide today. It’s a hormone free option though, and the copper one actually works right away. You just need to wait twenty-four hours after it’s inserted. A lot of people use them. If you try it and don’t like it we can always take it out.”

“And you can do it today?”

“Sure! I just gave you an exam, I know what size you’d need. It’ll be a little uncomfortable while it’s going in. Sort of feels like when you’re getting a pap.”

“Alright, let’s just do it. If I don’t like it, I’ll come back.”

“Okay, after I put it in, I’m gonna use a mirror to show you what to look for. You should be able to feel the strings to make sure it’s in the right place.”

You nod and wait for her to go get a nurse.

//

Later, when you come home, Harry’s sitting with Jack on the floor, just playing with him. It was an incredibly sweet sight.

“Jack look, it’s mummy.”

“Do you think he’ll have an accent?” You come over and sit on the floor with them.

“You know, technically, to me, you have an accent. So he could have yours, or a mix of both.” He kisses you and hands him over. You snuggle him close to you. “How was your appointment?”

“Good, everything’s really good. I had her put a non-hormonal IUD in to try. If I don’t like it she can take it out. It was really fucking uncomfortable though, so hopefully I’ll like it.”

“How’s it feel now?”

“Fine, can’t even really tell it’s up in there. Although, you maybe be able to feel the strings on the end of it with your fingers…sorry.”

“Not a problem, you’re not the first girl I…” You give him a warning look. “Um, it’s no big deal is all I mean.”

“Mhm.” You give Jack kisses on his chubby cheeks. “How was lunch with your mum?”

“Oh it was good! It was good for her to spend time with him.”

“How much longer is she staying here?”

“Only another week or so. I’m kinda sad, it’s been nice to call her and have her be right there, you know?”

“I know, I’m sorry.” You frown. “At least we can spend a little longer there for the holidays, right? Since my winter break is so long, we can go for two weeks instead of one.”

“Very true, and I can always pick up some freelance while I’m out there. Do you think once you’re back on campus you’ll bring him with you?”

“Probably. I think I’ll go to campus quite a bit even though I’m teaching online. I like my office. I was looking into it, and they do have a daycare on campus. The babies need to be at least six months, I think to make sure they have all their shots, but I can put my name in the pool.”

“Must be expensive, no?”

“It’s a little pricey, but it would get him socialized with kids his own age, and at least it would be a formal daycare, and I’d be right there if he needed me.”

“Yeah, I like the idea of that. I suppose comin’ to work with me all the time probably wouldn’t be a good idea.”

“It’s one thing to bring Buster, but your staff are not babysitters.”

“Obviously.” He looks over at Buster and pets him. “These two have become quite the little buddies. I think he likes the way Jack smells.” He chuckles.

“Still got that new baby smell somehow.”

“His acne’s gotten better.”

“You’ll never believe what I did to get it to go away.”

“What?”

“I read that you should rub your nipple over the baby’s face, so I just started doing that when I’d feed him.”

“Are you serious?” He laughs.

“Yeah! Worked great, didn’t it, Jack?” You hold him up to look at him and he giggles slightly. “God, he’s so cute. We got the world’s cutest baby.”

“We really do.”

//

At some point in July, you got your family photos taken. Mariah did them for you at the studio. It was lovely. It was nice to finally be feeling better about yourself. You and Harry hadn’t quite dived into the sex stuff yet. You had started giving him blow jobs and things of that nature, but you hadn’t let him touch you.

“Harry, I’m not ready to leave him for the night.” You pout.

“Y/N.” He sighs. “My mum is gonna be with him all night. It’s your twenty-eighth birthday, we’re going away for the night like we planned.”  

“Why do we always need a getaway? What’s wrong with staying in? It’s not even a big birthday. Now your birthday later this year, that’s a big birthday, but mine-“

“If we don’t do this now, we’ll never be able to leave him. He’s in good hands.”

“I never said he wasn’t! I just…” You start to tear up. “What if he needs me? What if he can’t sleep without us?” You hear the buzzer for the door.

“That’s my mum. We only have her here another few days, and that’s because she extended her stay another month for us. Please, let her have this last little sleepover, and let us have some alone time.” He huffs, and opens the door.

You didn’t like being put in your place like that, but you knew he was right. You both thank Anne and say goodbye to Jack before heading out. You were quiet on the ride to the hotel. You knew it was good to get away, but you were sad nonetheless.

“It’s by the beach. I thought tomorrow we could go out, lay outside like you like?”

“Sure.”

“Honey…” He puts his hand over yours. “I’ll miss him too, but this’ll be good for us. We haven’t been alone in a long time.”

“We have plenty of alone time.”

“You’re always afraid we’re gonna wake him up or something. Think of how nice it’ll be to shower without worrying if he’s gonna cry or not.”

“I know.” You sigh. “You’re right about all of it. I’m just not happy about it. I feel like I’m so old already.”

“Old?! What does that make me? You’re not the one that’s six months away to bein’ thirty.” He scoffs.

“I know, it’s silly.” You shake your head at yourself.

Many thoughts left your head as soon as the wine at dinner hit your lips. You’d have to pump and dump, but you didn’t care. You and Harry enjoyed a really nice meal that was long overdue. For the first time in a long time, you were on a date with your husband. For the first time in a long time, the main focus of conversation wasn’t about your son. It was like you were getting to know each other all over again, and it felt good.

“Babe?” You say to him as you get back up to the hotel room.

“Yeah?”

“Will you make love to me?”

He pouts at you and gives you those eyes that look like a puppy’s. He thought he was going to melt into a puddle.

“Of course I will, angel.” He comes over to you and cups your cheeks in his hands. “S’not why I brought you here, I hope you know that.” He kisses your forehead.

“I do.”

He tilts your chin up so you can look at him before he kisses you. You wrap your arms around his neck and pull him closer to you. You can’t remember the last time you two really kissed like this, which was kind of sad. You feel tears prick at the back of your eyes, and you try to blink them away.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, I just…we’ve really put us on the back burner, huh?” You wipe under your eyes.

“Little bit…” He brings you over to the bed and you both sit down. “I haven’t wanted to say much because I didn’t want you to feel pressured. I know you’ve been nervous. I’ve appreciated you takin’ care of me, but you know I much prefer doing it to you.”

“Remember when we used to be able to take our time for everything? I mean, when was the last time we even got to do anal? Your ass must be so tight by now.”

“Y/N.” Harry laughs, and puts his hand on your shoulder. “One step at a time, yeah?” He leans in to kiss you again. “Let’s just take advantage of this time. We can take all the time in the world.”

“Okay…I know it’ll be fine, I just can’t help but feel nervous.”

“S’just me, love. Nothin’ to be nervous about.”

You nod and stand up. You go to take your shirt off and you grab your breast pump.

“Let me just, uh, take care of this first.” You take everything into the bathroom so you can pump and dump.

Harry gets some music playing and tries to make the atmosphere a little more romantic. You come back out with your arms crossed. He had gotten undressed other than his boxers.

“Come here, sweet girl.”

You walk over to him, only in your underwear and let him hold you close. His hands slide down your sides and then to your breasts. He kisses down your neck and then your chest.

“Harry, wait.”

“What?”

“Don’t…suck on my nipples…”

“Why not? You love that.” He frowns.

“Not when I’m still producing milk!” His hand moves up to grip your throat and your eyes widen.

“Alright, but I’m sucking wherever else I want. That okay?” You nod your head slowly. “Good, now get on the bed.”

He lets you go so you can crawl on the bed. He gets on and hovers over you. He kisses you and works his way to your neck, sinking his teeth in and sucking harshly. You gasp and clutch at his shoulders. He works his way down your body, sucking where he pleases. He pays special attention to your tummy, kissing on your stretch marks that he loved so much. He hooks his fingers into your panties and drags them down your legs. You instinctively clamp your thighs together. Harry puts his hands on your knees and looks at you.

“Would you open up f’me, please, my love?” He asks ever so softly. You take a deep breath and open up for him. He looks down and smiles. “Look, at that. How’s my old friend doin’?”

“Harry.” You giggle.

“M’just sayin’, it’s been a minute. She looks real good, even better than I remember, honestly.” He kisses from your knee down your thigh, stopping to suck on your skin right near your center. He looks up at you and you nod. He licks a flat stripe up from your center to your clit. “Mm, oh my god.” He groans and continues to lap at you.

You lean back on your elbows as things start to feel good. You couldn’t help but get wet from the sounds Harry was making against you. You grip at his hair as he starts to suck on your clit. You grit your teeth when you feel a finger slip inside you.

“Shit.” You moan out.

“That feel oka-“ You don’t let him finish his sentence, you just push his head back down.

“Fuck, Harry, that’s it!” It all becomes too much and you end up coming on his finger. He continues to suck on you as you ride it out. He sits up to look at you afterwards.

“Yeh taste so fucking good.”

“I do?”

“You have no idea.” He leans in to kiss you quick.

“I didn’t know if anything would happen, but I packed some lube just in case. Might be good to use some.”

“Good idea.” He smiles and gets off the bed to grab it from your bag. He slides his boxers off, and get some lube on his hard cock. He spreads some around you as well. “Ready f’me, doll face?”

“Mhm, want you so bad.”

“If it doesn’t feel good make sure to let me know.”

“I will.”

You grip his biceps as he slowly pushes inside you. His eyes flutter closed at the feeling. Once he’s all the way in, he looks down at you. You were gritting your teeth and your eyes were squeezed shut.

“Y/N.” He grunts. Your eyes open slightly to look at him. “It hurts, doesn’t it?” He frowns.

“No! It doesn’t, I’m just getting used to it. I’m really sensitive. How’s it feel for you? Loose, right?” He smirks at you and shakes his head.

“You feel amazing, and I’m not just sayin’ that. Can’t even tell you pushed Jack’s big head outta there.” You both giggle and you relax a little.

“Okay, you can move.”

“Are yeh sure?”

“Yeah, come on, Daddy, fuck me.” Harry’s face completely drops and you burst out laughing.

“That’s not funny.”

“Oh come on, I’ve been dying to say that to you since he was born.” You wipe some tears away. “It was funny.”

“Yeah, you’re a real comedian, babe.” He rolls his eyes. His hand slides to grip your throat again. “Don’t say it again unless you mean it, understand?”

“Okay, okay.” He move his hand away so you can speak. “How about, fuck me, Harry?”

“I like that better.”

He starts to rock in and out of you slowly. Your hands drag down his back, your nails definitely leaving marks. You both were panting against each other. One of his hands snakes between the two of you so he can rub your clit.

“Oh, fuck.” Your head rolls back into the pillows, and you wrap your legs around his waist.

“Fuckin’ love you so much.”

“Love you too, shit, love you so much.”

“I get to have this forever?”

“All yours, forever.”

He groans and picks up the pace. He loses it as he watches your full breasts bounce up and down, and you come from the way he rubs your clit. You gasp at the way his come feels as it fills you up. He collapses on top of you as he tries to catch his breath.

After you both use the bathroom, you get into bed and rest your head on his chest. He rubs your back as you trace shapes on his stomach.

“That was amazing.” You say, looking up at him.

“Yeah? Felt really good for you?”

“Mhm, it was perfect. I’m sorry I was so nervous before.”

“You were just bein’ cautious, I get it.”

“And I really felt good?”

“You felt incredible, I swear. Thought I was nearly going to come when I just got the tip in.” You giggle and snuggle in closer. He looks over and sees it’s past midnight. “Happy birthday, angel.” He kisses the top of your head.

“Thank you.”

//

A couple days a week you’d hold office hours at school, and bring Jack with you. He was so good and barely fussed while you worked, and your students loved seeing him. It was nice to be back on campus after being home with him all summer. He was just about five months old, and was actually starting to look like a person.

Sometimes you’d take Jack to visit Harry on his lunch breaks and it always made Harry happy to see the two of you walk into the studio. You really had a routine down.

“Harry, we got on the list for the daycare at school for next semester, isn’t that great?” You tell him one night at dinner. “There were a couple of open spots. It’ll only be a few days a week since I’m only teaching Monday, Wednesday, Friday.”

“You are?”

“Yeah, we had a meeting today about what days certain classes are gonna be offered. I’m still teaching the same amount, just more on fewer days.”

“You’re okay with that?”

“Yeah! I can go in for office hours on Tuesdays, and then be home on Thursdays. It’ll cost less if he’s a part timer too.”

“Alright, sounds good to me.” He shrugs. “I wanna run somethin’ by you.”

“Okay.” You put your fork down to look at him. Before Harry can speak you hear the baby monitor. “Oh shit, he must’ve pooped.” You sigh. “Sorry, one second.”

Harry cleans up the dishes while you go to change Jack. You come back into the kitchen and wash your hands.

“He go back to sleep?”

“Mhm, barely woke up while I changed him.” You laugh. “So, what’s on your mind?”

“We got this place because it was a decent halfway point between Mark It and Plant Geo, and because Niall was across the street. None of those things matter anymore, do they?”

“I suppose not.”

“I was thinking…I love this place, really I do. It’s been such a great home for us for almost five years.”

“What are you saying, you wanna move?”

“I just thought maybe it would be nice to find a place with a yard. Somewhere Buster could run around, Jack could play outside without us havin’ to pack a bunch of shit to go to the park when he gets older.”

“You wanna be suburbs people?”

“Not necessarily, I mean, we could look for a detached townhouse or something. My business is in the city, and so it your work, so it wouldn’t make sense to move super far away and add a longer commute. But I know there’s neighborhoods around here we could look into.”

“Do we even have enough for a down payment? Homes in Mass are so expensive. Remember what Niall and Sarah had to deal with?”

“My step-father owned some real-estate. When he passed away my mum sold the building. Instead of giving Gem and I the money right away, she put it into an account for us. I have the money for a down payment, I just have to ask my mum. It’s what she’s been savin’ it for anyways.”

“Oh my god. Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

“I honestly forgot about it. I’ve been talkin’ to my mum about all this, and she reminded me. What do you think? Do you wanna look for a house or something?”

“I mean…sure, I suppose we’re starting to outgrow this place. We don’t exactly have a functional guest room anymore. I don’t know where we’d look.”

“In all honesty, I think it would be nice to look in the Milton area. It’s just outside the city, we could hop on the T if we didn’t feel like driving in.”

“The traffic in the morning would be unbearable…”

“Like I said, I could hop on the T. Niall and Sarah seem to manage just fine. Or I was thinking Quincy.”

“Quincy is nice…and we’d be even closer to my family. I suppose it couldn’t hurt to look, right?”

“I think we should look in like November. A lot of people won’t wanna deal with a move in the winter time so we’d have less competition.”

“You’ve really thought this through.” You smirk.

“It’s definitely been on my mind. Plus…I could always move the business. I lease the space, it’s not like I own it. I could always find another spot if it got annoying for me. It’s you I’d be more concerned about. Like we wouldn’t be able to just run home if we needed something, or visit each other as often.” He sighs. “I definitely don’t wanna go Northshore.”

“God, no.” You cringe. “I think if we could find a neighborhood that has easy access to the T, that should be fine. And you make your own schedule, it’s not like you need to be there at 8AM every day. And I’m allowed to say when I want to teach and what times. None of my classes start before ten next semester.”

“You don’t have any at night right?”

“Nope. Need to stick to Jack’s schedule.”

“That daycare’ll come in so handy if we move.”

“Imagine if we found something in Niall and Sarah’s neighborhood? Niall takes the T to his work a lot, he says he doesn’t mind it. Sarah drives in, and she said as long as you leave early enough the traffic isn’t too bad. It’s more so coming home when it gets bogged down. But we get stuck in that just as bad in the city now.”

“So…we can start house hunting?”

“Yeah.” You smile. “I think it’s a great idea.”

//

You and Harry had found a home down the street from Niall and Sarah, and it was better than perfect. It had four bedrooms and three baths, a nice big basement that could be finished if you wanted it to be, a garage, and a decent sized yard, room for a pool in the future, perhaps. You only had to compete with one other offer, but ultimately, yours was accepted. You bought it just after Thanksgiving. As you walked around your empty apartment, a few tears came to your eyes. There were so many good memories had at this place.

“Ready, love?” Harry asks, Jack on his hip, and Buster at his side. “Think we’ve got everything we need.”

“Yeah, me too.”

Your friends and family were able to help you move, thank God. There wasn’t much work that needed to be done to the house either. You were able to get whatever painting and small things done before moving in. Harry would be able to catch the train with Niall most mornings and afternoons if he felt like it, and your commute wouldn’t be that bad either. Only about ten minutes longer than usual. It felt good to own a house. Jack would have a real neighborhood to grow up in. Your yard was fenced in for Buster, not that he could really use it at the moment what with snow starting to come.

You and Harry spent two and half weeks in London for the holidays. He got some freelancing done while he was there just to make some extra cash. His business was thriving, but expenses tended to add up from time to time now that you had a baby to worry about. He was always putting away for a rainy day, which was smart. Louis and Eleanor got to spend time with you all, and it was cute to watch Eliza May interact with Jack. Overall, it was a great trip and you were thankful that some things didn’t need to change.

He wasn’t expecting much for his thirtieth birthday since you had just bought a house and were still settling in. Maybe just a simple dinner with friends. He had the week from hell with people at work. Him and Mariah had this big sale going on from the New Year, so naturally a ton of people were coming in. It was worth it for the extra money, but they both were exhausted.

“What are you doing for your birthday, Harry?” Isaac asks at the end of the day Friday.

“I have no idea. I told Y/N I didn’t want anything big, so I think she’s just gonna have dinner ready for me when I get home and we’re just gonna chill this weekend.” He shrugs.

“Sounds nice.” He grins. “Thirty’s a big deal, you know? It’s like you’re officially an adult.”

“Oh, so the wife and child didn’t make me an adult?” He smirks.

“Nope, now it’s really real.”

Harry takes the T home, as he did every day. For some reason Niall said not to wait for him at their meet up spot. He didn’t really think much of it. He was on autopilot as well when he drove home from the train station, so he didn’t notice the street littered with cars. What he did noticed when he pulled into the driveway was his house had no lights on.

“What the…?” He pulls into the garage. “Her car’s here…don’t even fuckin’ tell me the power went out.” He groans.

Harry gets out of the car and goes into the house. He kicks his shoes off in the basement mudroom area you had set up, and he hangs his coat up. He flicks the light on to go up the stairs to the kitchen. As he reaches the top of the stairs, more lights flick on-

“Surprise!” A ton of people pop out and yell.

“Jesus Christ!” He clutches at his chest since his heart had started pounding.

You walk over to him giggling, and kiss him on the cheek. You hand him Jack, who had been waiting to see his Daddy all day.

“Happy birthday, honey, are you surprised?” You beam at him.

“Very…I…I had no idea.” He smiles and kisses your temple.

“That’s the whole point.” You laugh. Harry’s jaw drops when he sees Issac and Mariah standing around.

“How the fuck did you get here before me?”

“We may have gone over the speed limit a bit.” Mariah says. “Happy birthday.”

“You knew all this time she was plannin’ a bloody party and you didn’t tell me?” He scolds Isaac.

“We were sworn to secrecy. I’m far more scared of her than you, H, sorry.”

The party was a lot of fun, tons of friends, a few family members, and Harry could have as much to drink as he wanted since he didn’t need to drive anywhere.

“Lemme take him, it’s time for bed.” You say. “Say night night, Jack.” Harry gives his son a kiss before he hands him to you.

“Yeh did good, Y/N.” Niall says, as he helps you put Jack down. “Harry really had no idea.”

“It helped that he’s been too busy to notice me putting the plans together. Perfect way to have a little house warming too, don’t you think?”

“You’re always thinkin’.”

“Can I ask you something?”

“Anything.”

“You and Sarah have been married a few months now, been together a few years…do you think you two will grow your family in any way, or are you not so into the baby thing?”

“I want whatever she wants, and she doesn’t seem to want kids.” He shrugs. “She’s always sayin’ her kids at school are enough. We might get a dog soon though.”

“That’s nice.” You smile. “Not that she needs to have kids or anything, I was just wondering is all.”

“My brother’s got a couple, I’m honestly happy just bein’ an uncle, and I think she likes bein’ an auntie to Jack.”

“Whatever works, right? Besides, I’m grateful to have you both so close by again. Jack will really get to know his auntie and uncle.”

“Exactly, and then when he’s older I can teach him how to properly play soccer because honestly Harry is shit at soccer.”

You burst out laughing, and clasp a hand over your mouth to not wake up the baby boy you just got to rest. You both sneak out of the room, and head back downstairs. Harry was chatting with Seth about something, and they were both laughing over whatever it was.

Around 11PM, everyone disperses. People were tired from the work week, after all. You say goodnight to everyone, and collect the cards and gifts people had left for Harry.

“You can open these tomorrow.” You yawn. “Let’s go to bed.” He grabs you and pulls you into him. He kisses you all over your face and you giggle. “Someone had fun.” You push away from him and go upstairs to your bedroom.

“Loads.” He pinches your bum and you have to stop yourself from squealing. You put a finger up to your lips to signal he needed to be quiet.

“If he wakes up, you can put him back to sleep.” You unzip your jeans and throw them in the hamper.

“Well, now you’re just not playin’ fair.” He closes the door behind him. Buster had gotten into the habit of sleeping in Jack’s room. He liked being near him at night.

“What, what am I doing?” You take your sweater off next and throw it in the hamper as well.

“You’re givin’ me a little strip tease.” He sits down on the edge of bed, practically bouncing on it.

“Am not.” You smirk. “I always get undressed like this.” You reach behind yourself and unclasp your bra before going into the bathroom to do your nightly routine. When you come back out Harry was still sitting there with a dumb smile on his face. You were completely naked now. “Can I help you?”

“Yeah, actually.” He looks down at his crotch and then back to you.

“Ohhhh, I see. It’s your birthday, so you want to have sex, is that it?”

“Well, I always want to have sex, but sure, yeah, that’s it.”

You stand in front of his parted legs and rest your hands on his shoulders. You run one of your hands through his hair and get a good fistful to bring his head back slightly. You plant kisses down his neck while he grips your hips to pull you into his lap. You straddle him while you suck on the available skin. One of his hands moves up to grip your throat.

“Get comfortable while I get undressed.” He says to you before letting you go.

“Now who’s giving the strip tease?” You cock an eyebrow as you sit up against the headboard. “And who said you were in charge tonight?”

“It’s my birthday.” He scoffs. “Can’t I have it how I want it?” He gets all of his clothes off and walks back over to the bed.

“And how exactly do you want it? I was planning to get that cock down my throat, but if that’s not something you want-“

Harry gets on the bed and sits next to you, spreading his legs apart.

“Be my fuckin’ guest.”

You giggle and get between his legs. You start by suckling his tip. He closes his eyes as his body starts to relax. You take him further in your mouth, hollowing your cheeks as you suck on him. His hands run through your hair, making a ponytail with his fist to hold it back for you.

“Ah, fuck.” He breathes as his head rolls back.

You cradle his balls as you bob your head up and down. You groan against him when you taste his precum. This causes him to buck his hips up and you gag slightly on him. He pulls you off of him and you gasp for air.

“I wasn’t done.” You pout.

“Yeah, well, I wanna fuck my wife now, that alright?”

You smile at him as a blush graces your cheeks. He pulls you close to him by the back of your neck and his lips connect with yours. His hands move down to your breasts so he can knead them. Before you know it, you’re being pinned down, your head on the pillows, and Harry’s fingers plunging inside of you.

“Oh, god.” You moan softly.

He sucks your bottom lip into his mouth while his fingers do their work inside you. He brings you extremely close to the edge before pulling them out of you.

“I really fucking hate when you do that.” You groan.

“It’s my birthday remember?” You look over to the clock.

“Only for twenty more minutes, smart mouth.”

“Guess I better make it count then, huh?”

He spreads you apart and pushes inside you without much warning. You bite your bottom lip to stifle the moan you desperately wanted to let out. Even though Jack’s room was down the hall, you still didn’t want to risk being too loud. You also had neighbors that you didn’t want to think Harry was beating you from the way he would make you scream sometimes.

His tip brushes against your g-spot and you grind your hips up towards his. He thrusts in and out and it feels so good you think you might cry. It’s not that you two weren’t intimate, you normally just had to keep it quick, or sometimes you were just too tired to put a lot of effort in. Right when you think you’re going to come to your release he pulls out all the way.

“Harry, I swear to god, I-“

He grabs your hips and flips you over. He slides back in and swoops his hand to the front of your throat to pull you back to him, back flush with his chest.

“I’ll tell you what, I’m gonna fuck yeh really hard right now.” He was making slow circular motions with his pelvis while he was talking. You could barely concentrate. “And your face is gonna go right into that nice pillow, so you can scream out all yeh want. How’s that sound?”

“S, sounds good.”

You gasp when he pushes you back down, and starts ramming into you. You grasp at the pillow and keep your face shoved in it to muffle your noises. His balls were slapping against you in the perfect way, and you can’t help but rub your clit while he continues to pound into you the way you were so desperate for. You turn your face to the side to catch some air.

“Harry.” You moan. “Please, I need to come.”

That was all he wanted to hear. Just to have you beg him, at least once, it was always music to his ears.

“Go ahead, angel.” He coos as he gives you more hard thrusts.

You feel his come shoot inside you and you lose it at that. You moan loudly into your pillow as his thrusts slow. He pulls you of you and helps you flip back over. He hovers over you and gives you a soft kiss before getting up to use the bathroom. You use it again after him and climb into bed.

You both face each other and get your legs tangled together. He tucks your hair behind your ear and smiles.

“Thanks for throwin’ me such a great party, babe. I love you so much.”

“You’re more than welcome, and I love you too. You’re thirty.” You giggle.

“I’m thirty.” He sighs. “Little weird.”

“Age is just a number.”

“Tell me.” He rolls onto his back. “Am I still the sexy young thing you fell in love with?” He looks down at his stomach and then to you. “Or am I like Dad bod central?”

“Oh my goodness, Harry.” You can’t help but laugh. You move to straddle him again, removing the covers. “Your stomach is as flat as the day I met you, and even if it wasn’t I’d love you just the same. Besides,” you pinch at his love handles, that he’s always had, “what are you always saying to me? More to love, right?” You lean down and kiss him. “Still plenty sexy, and still plenty young.”

“Thanks, you know how I know I’m still plenty young?”

“How?”

“Because I could fuck you again right now if yeh let me.” He smirks.

“Yeah? Wanna take me for another ride?” You roll your hips down on him.

“I do.” He starts rubbing circles on your sensitive clit.

“Fuck.” You breathe. “I think I could go for a second round. You only turn thirty once, after all.”

[copias-thrall]

Recognition

Suey makes a surprising discovery.

(Start at the beginning)

*light breath play*

It’s been happening for weeks.

A sudden feeling of eyes on you. Weird, little incidents that you can’t help but connect together in your mind—your own Baader-Meinhof phenomenon.

Browsing at the consignment shop, and you look up—having felt the weight of a stare—to see a gaggle of girls whispering behind their hands. When you catch eyes with them, they make a hasty retreat, giggling. You look down at yourself to make sure your boob isn’t hanging out, or that there’s no toilet paper stuck to your shoe—but everything seems in order.

At the MAC store (if you wanna upgrade Mary’s stock that’s nobody’s business but your own), when two baby goths seems to be intently watching what you put in your basket. You smile at them, but they just look down quickly, as if the floor holds the secret to non-cakey face powder.

Enjoying $5 beers and reading a book at your neighborhood bar when a group of emo dudes sends you a drink. And, ok—not to brag—that’s not the odd part. It’s the way they elbow each other until one of them comes over and asks if you’re expecting company. You eye him—and the expectant pack he came from—deadpaning that you don’t do gangbangs. He giggles nervously.

“So no one’s joining you?”

“NoPe.”

You have your speech all prepared when he just sighs and says That’s a sham, before heading back over to his group, which reluctantly leaves. Men, leaving when you say you’re by yourself. 

Weird.

It’s all enough to give a girl a complex. So, you try to convince yourself that people looking away when you look up and clearly talking about you surreptitiously, is all in your head. 

You’re having a pre-holiday lunch at the greasy punk diner with your friend Arry because she's not coming to the tree trimming, when the pieces start to fall into place. The two of you are embroiled in a dish session, when a lone girl approaches you. She’s maybe 19—growing out green hair and sporting a Monroe piercing—and she approaches you shyly.

“Excuse me,” she all but whispers.

“Yes?” you say, not unkindly.

She hesitates a little, her eyes darting to yours and then back to the floor, then asks, “You’re Mary’s girl, right? Mary Goore?”

Arry—who you have not told—raises her eyebrows at you and rests her chin in her hand, curious as to where this is going.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah I am.”

The girl sort of rocks back and forth a little, sucking in one side of her cheek.

“I have a-a thing. He just. Always seems so intense? If I gave it to you … ?”

“A thing.”

“It’s-it’s nothing weird. Just a-a drawing.”

Arry is looking at you like, This makes sense to you?!

You smile big and try to send out I’m-not-going-to-eat-you vibes, which is a struggle since your default setting is mostly fuck-off-and-die.

“All right, let’s see then.”

The girl’s face snaps to look up at you, gauging your sincerity, before swinging her messenger bag around. She fumbles around in it, bringing out a sketchbook. You can see she’s shaking as she flips through it. She finally manages to get to the right page, and then she’s turning it out and around for you to see.

It’s a gorgeous caricature of Mary on stage in his corpse paint looking grave and holding his guitar out like a weapon. There’s a speech bubble that says, “u want sum fuk?”.

It’s hilarious.

When you don’t respond immediately—only because you’re so entranced—the girl starts sputtering.

“I-I’m sorry. I didn’t mean—”

“No, it’s wonderful,” you say as you look up at her. “This is great—right up his alley.”

She brightens. “Really??”

“Really,” you agree.

“Th-thanks. So you’d … ?”

“Yes, I’d love to give this to him, if that’s what you want.”

She nods vigorously.

Luckily you have your computer and bag with you, so you gingerly place the drawing inside your closed laptop for safekeeping. The girl is looking at you as if you’d hung the moon.

“Do you have an insta?” you ask.

“Oh! Yeah, it’s …” She leans down and writes her handle on a napkin.

You take it, smiling warmly at her, and are surprised when she leans down for a side hug, before quickly scampering off. Arry is giving you A Look.

“What. The Absolute Fuck. Was that about?”

You blush. It’s not that you’ve been hiding Mary … it’s just that it’s so new, even if doing the math in your head tells you otherwise. You give her a little shrug.

Arry glares at you. “Ok, fine. I was giving you a chance. But if you’re not going to come clean …” She pulls out her phone, tapping and scrolling through it before sliding it over to you. “Explain .”

Picking up the phone you see a grainy picture of you at Regency sitting on Mary’s lap. Your head snaps up.

“Where did you—”

“Oh, keep scrolling.”

You do, and you find several more from that night, some really unflattering zooms with redeye from other bars, and the selfie Roxie took—in which you and Mary are pale and glowering and Roxie still looks high.

“Where did you get these ?” you hiss, clenching the phone.

When Arry holds out her hand, you reluctantly hand it back over.

“One of my friends sent that last one to me—that’s from Roxie Hearts’ instagram, by the way. She’s a pretty well-known—”

“Yes, I know.” You put your head in your hands.

“She’s since deleted it, by the way. But, Otis sent it to me asking if this wasn’t you. I kind of fell down a rabbit hole of hashtags from there. So. Explain.”

“Um,” you say and you trace patterns with your finger on the table, “you remember Bathroom Guy?”

“This is the guy who fucked you in a bathroom?!”

You grimace at your friend.

“Yeah?”

Your friend slaps the table and shakes her hands at you.

“HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME YOU’RE DATING BATHROOM GUY ?!”

“It’s only been like 6 months or something,” you mutter.

She throws a french fry at you.

“Six months !”

“Dating is like pregnancy ! You can’t announce it too soon! It might not take!”

“That’s only for like, three months, you cow. You’re fucking impossible. Only you would think 6 months is nothing! DETAILS .”

“I just,” you stammer, “I don’t know! He put his number in my phone and I just. Kept calling him up. For sex. I have needs you know!”

“Oh yes. We’re all very clear on what a fucking nympho you are. But how do you go from booty calls to random teens giving you fan art of your boyfriend who’s in a band.”

You put your head in your hands and moan.

“I don’t know! Here I am thinking of him as This Guy who just randomly shows up to fuck, to complain about everything, and to watch my cable when he’s not working—and it turns out that’s dating. Ta-da!”

You give her jazz hands.

She scrunches her face at you.

“Tell me you’re not in one of those situations you get yourself into.”

“What situations?”

“Ok, look. Don’t get offended—”

“Arr—”

“No: listen, hun—sometimes you date guys just because it’s like you don’t know what else to do. Don’t give me that look, you know you do. They're clearly into you, and you just seem indifferent most of the time.”

You shrug. “Well, Mary isn’t like that.”

“Which is why you haven’t fucking told anyone?” She raises her eyebrow.

You start shredding your napkin. “I guess maybe I keep waiting for him to realize I’m not the cool girl he thinks I am? How embarrassing would that be if I told people and then he dumped me? He knows all kinds of … people.”

“Oh, hon,” she says as she puts her hand on yours. “You’re amazing. That’s what he sees.”

“Yeah, well. Maybe,” you say, and you quickly take back your hand.

There’s a beat, and then Arry asks, “Do you have any pictures of him?” 

“Seems like you have plenty,” you huff.

“Yeah, all grainy. C’mon! Don’t hold out on me!”

Begrudgingly, you fish out your phone and pull up the G-rated album—which you created after Krissy almost swiped too far in your camera roll—and hand it over to Arry. She takes it greedily and starts zooming and swiping.

“Huh,” she says, her face twisting in … concentration? “Don’t I know this guy?”

“You literally just said you stalked him on insta.”

“No, from somewhere else.” She waves her hand at you. “Whatever.” Arry keeps scrolling. “Well, he looks … happy.”

You frown. “You don’t like him.”

She hands the phone back to you. “I don’t know him. I just think the makeup is weird.” She leans in. “Does he take it off? Have you seen his real face?!”

You scrunch your face at her. “Of course he takes it off.” You toss your hair haughtily. “You think I’m going to let him eat me out like that? Like I need another UTI in my life.”

Arry bursts out laughing. “You did seem to get a disproportionate amount.”

Shrugging, you say, “Spermicide, who knew?”

“Yeah, sure. That’s why.”

You throw a fry back at her. “Bitch.”

She sticks her tongue out at you.

“Anyway . No, he usually doesn’t wear it when we’re just hanging out.”

“So you don’t hang out a lot?”

You squint at her. “Why would you say that?”

“None of those pictures show his face!”

“They don’t?” you ask as you open your phone to scroll through again. She’s right, so you pop back to your camera roll. “Oh. Well,” you look up at her, “those ones are … private.”

“Sexy pictures aren’t supposed to have faces!”

While there are X-rated pictures of the 2 of you sans faces on your roll, the ones that you’re talking about are not those. One is you in bed wearing Mary’s tee with him asleep and drooling on your chest; another is him at your cafe table focused on his guitar; still another is him at your feet, staring up at you. 

So—not X-rated but definitely private.

“Yeah, well—it doesn’t need to be sexy to be private.” You lock your phone and shove it back in your bag.

Arry is staring at you.

“What?”

“You like him.”

“Of course I like him. I’m dating him, aren’t I?”

She gives you a knowing smile, and you roll your eyes in response.

“SoOo … when do I get to meet him?”

You groan again.

You’ve basically just gotten home yourself—and are in the process of shucking off your stockings to soak—when Mary bangs into your place with his usual finesse. You’re surprised because Fridays are his big money-making day at the bar, especially now that it’s the holidays. 

“What are you doing here?” you ask as you wander out of your bathroom.

Mary makes a face at you as he throws down his stuff. “Well, hello to you too.”

You roll your eyes. “You know what I mean—you’re supposed to be working.”

He takes in your outside clothes. “Oh … were you … going out?”

“Just got in, actually. Saw a friend for lunch.”

Mary continues taking off his shoes. “Ah. Well, I switched.”

“Switched for what? You’re already working tomorrow night.”

“What are you? My day planner now?”

You bristle. “Christ, Mare. Is it a crime to know when you’re going to be unavailable. What? I should just sit here waiting for you whenever just in case ?”

“Fuck—calm down, all right? I asked for the night off, ok?.”

“You’re blowing off work?” you ask as you squint at him. “Why would you do that? I thought you were counting on the tips?”

“See, this is why I told you I switched. I’m not ‘blowing off work’—I asked Mickey last week if there were any days he could spare me, and he called to let me know I could take tonight off if I wanted.”

You shift uneasily.

“But why would you do that?”

“Uh … to spend time with you?”

“But, I’m not … I didn’t ask you to do that. I don’t want to be why you can’t make rent. I could’ve waited til before I left on Monday to see you.”

Mary just sighs and flops down on your couch, pulling the balled-up afghan over his lap.

“Suey, I’m not as broke as all that. It’s tight—sure—but. Life is more than just watching it pass you by while you feed into the capitalist grind, you know? Is it so out there that I want to see my girlfriend without either of us having to fuck off afterwards?”

He looks over at you. You crawl onto the couch after him, squeezing yourself behind him so you can massage his shoulders. Mary melts into your touch.

“Of course I want to see you, but I don’t want to be why you can’t concentrate on your band, especially since you guys have such a full schedule til the end of the year. I know how important that is.”

He tilts his head to kiss your hand.

“Even if that’s why I can’t see you as much as I’d like?”

“Clingy dudes are such a turn off,” you say as in mock affectation. “I like my independence.”

Mary snorts.

You work his neck and shoulders in silence for a while before he catches up one of your hands to kiss the knuckles.

“One day I’ll give you everything.”

Your gut does something complicated, so you pull your hand back to rest on his shoulder.

“That’s a nice sentiment, Mary, but I won’t hold you to it.”

Mary sighs with his whole body.

“I wish you would.”

The two of you stay like that for a while—with you encircling him from behind and his head back leaned back on you.

“So …” you say. “Apparently we’re all over the internet.”

He twists a little to face you.

“What do you mean?”

You scramble off the couch to grab your phone from your bag, and present the pictures now in it to Mary. He scrolls through, his face indecipherable. 

“These are all …?”

“On Instagram, yeah.”

When he gets to Roxie’s selfie, he exhales heavily, resting his forehead on the phone.

“I’ll tell her to delete this.”

“It’s apparently already gone.”

He rolls his head back toward you.

“I’m sorry.”

You squint at him. “Why are you sorry?”

“I don’t think sometimes.”

You smirk at him. “I’m not going to refute that.”

He makes a tetch noise at you.

“I didn’t think what, uh, showing you off would mean. For you.”

You crawl into his lap. “I mean, it’s a little weird. I’m no one.”

Mary chucks you under the hey. “Hey. You’re someone. To me.”

Rolling your eyes, you say, “You know what I mean, Mare.”

“Well, I’m sorry you’re all over Instagram, but I’m not sorry people think you’re someone.”

He’s giving you his soft eyes, and you suddenly remember the fan art. You let out an Oh before climbing off his lap. Mary seems a little put off, but you can tell his curiosity is piqued when you extract the sheet of paper stock from your laptop.

“ A fan of yours gave this to me to give to you.”

Mary looks pained.

“It’s amazing,” you say as you hold out the paper. He takes it gingerly, and you make yourself comfortable once more on your couch. He’s staring at the page, the corners of his mouth twitching upward.

“You should feature it on the band’s insta and @ her.”

He looks at you. “The band has an instagram?”

“You’re fucking useless, you know that? Yes, your band has an insta. It’s awful, by the way—who takes your pictures? A dog with a GoPro?”

“Uh ….”

“Useless. Anyway, I’m telling you—post it and tag her.”

He carefully sets the picture on your coffee table.

“I’d rather tag you,” he says as he noses into your neck. Your tilt your head to give him access, and you feel his lips press into the juncture of your neck—

—and then he blows a raspberry into your skin.

You shriek and try to pull away, but he grips you tightly against him as he continues to misuse your neckline. You’re twisting in his grasp, laughing and trying to push him away. He snuffles into your skin, growling and wetly licking at you. You finally manage to get your hands under his shirt, and you wiggle your fingers into his side, causing him to yelp and jerk away.

“That’s cheating!” he says as he fights to keep your menacing hands away from his body.

“All’s fair in love and war, asshole.”

You lunge for him, and he catches up your wrists in his strong grip. He pulls you into him, practically touching his nose to yours. Hooded eyes dart around your face he says,

“Oh yeah? Which one’s this?”

He’s looking at you intensely, his grip relaxing slightly, and that’s when you lean in and bite down hard on his bottom lip. He makes an aggrieved noise as he flinches away, and you use the opening to push him down and dig your hands into his sides again. He’s flailing and cursing at you, so you climb on top of him and fight to get his arms pinned under your legs.

“Hah! I’m queen of the hill, motherfucker. Victory is mine!”

Mary’s face is flushed under his day makeup, and the laughter tears have worn trails down his temples. He’s making Grumpy Skeleton face at you.

“You play dirty, Suey.”

You lean down, hands trailing teasingly over his sides as he tries and fails to jerk away from your touch.

“I play to win. And I demand my spoils.”

“Oh? And what do you think you’ve won?”

“A favor—a kiss. On the lips.”

He quirks his eyebrow at you. “Just a kiss?” His hips shift and buck under you, his erection obvious against you.

You nod. “Just a kiss.”

“Ok, Queen Bitch. You may steal a kiss from your prisoner.”

Smiling wickedly, you hike up your skirt and knee up his torso. His eyes open wide, but his pupils are fully dilated. You cast about for—ah!—a napkin on the coffee table from … whenever … and wipe some of the makeup off his face. He grumbles at you, but allows it. 

Once you’re satisfied, you toss the napkin in the general area of your trash can, then you knee up further. When you’re kneeling over his mouth, you reach between your legs and shift the crotch of your polka-dot panties out of the way.

“Kiss it.”

His hands reach up to grip at your thighs; he licks his own lips, then presses a chaste kiss to the ones of your cunt before looking up at you for approval. You pet down his head, the fake blood from his hair flaking off onto your hand and the couch.

“Mmm. That's a good start, but you should show me your technique—use a little tongue.”

Mary closes his eyes again, and his tongue flicks out to trace the seam of your folds. He does this a few times, you letting out pleased sighs, before slowly wiggling the tip in between them. At the first exploratory flick on your clit, you moan and grip his stiff hair. He slithers his tongue up and down through your slit slowly, dipping into your hole before licking at your nub.

“It’s ok to get sloppy!” you gasp as you rock against his chin. “I don’t mind a little spit.”

His grip on your thighs tightens as his mouth presses into you, his tongue now lapping in an ever-increasing rhythm as you gasp and work your hips against his rhythm. Mary shifts his long legs so that they’re bent at the knees, and you lean back into them. 

“So good. Fuck … yeah. Put a finger in me!” you moan.

He manages to work a hand under you, his finger slipping in easily because of your wetness, and he presses into the spots you like. You’re trembling with the effort of holding yourself up, and you’re swallowing hard when you remember you have to breathe. Mary redoubles his efforts, his tongue speeding up as he swirls around your clit and his finger beginning to fuck in and out of you.

“Oh god, oh fuck, oh god,” you chant as you feel your pussy begin to pulsate and tighten. Mary presses the tip of his into your nub, and you can feel the sweetness of your orgasm pool, ready to break. You tense, back bowed, about to cum—and Mary, eyes now firmly fixed on you, sets his tongue flying on your engorged clit. You let out ridiculous moans—worthy of a bad porn star—as you climax and your pussy pops, your knees pressing hard into either side of his head. Mary doesn’t stop the massage of his tongue until you lean all your weight into the wall of his thighs behind you.

“Is my Queen Bitch pleased with her favor?” he asks wryly as he wipes his face with the collar of his shirt. You purr out an Mmm, content to just lounge against his knees. He—however—sits up, rearranging the two of you so that you’re straddling his lap.

“If I may be so bold?” he says as he gives a few experimental ruts against you.

“Lay on,” you say lazily, and make a “proceed” motion with your hand.

Mary’s eagerness is palpable as he struggles to get his dick out of his jeans without bucking you off him. You smile at him smugly as you refuse to help with his efforts at all. He makes a few annoyed sounds at you, but is ultimately successful with freeing his cock—your clit giving a throb of interest when you get an eyeful at how hard and flushed it is.

“C’mon,” he whines as he rubs it against you. “You gotta help out.”

Sighing as if you’re so put out, you lift up enough for him to rub his cockhead through your slit a few times—a grunt of approval escaping from his lips—before he gets the tip inside you. You slide down him—the both of you moaning as he enters you fully—and then he hooks his hands over your shoulders for the leverage to pound up into you.

You try to ride him, but his thrusts are too insistent for you to keep up, so instead you grind your clit down into the curls of his pubic hair. He’s been rubbing his face back and forth over your collarbone, but suddenly he tilts his head back and slows his fucks.

“Oh fuck, oh shit. Wanna feel your tits.” He tugs at your blouse. “Take this off before I rip it off you.”

You roll your eyes, but begin to fumble with your buttons as he yanks his band tee over his head. He almost does rip off your cami when he sees you have another layer to contend with, but ultimately you shimmy out of it without incident. When your breasts land heavy against your ribs, he’s quick to lean down and suck one into his mouth. He rocks into you now without rhythm as he sucks and licks at your tits, more interested in the weight and fullness of them in his mouth than nipple play. 

While he plays with them, you reach your hand down to play with your clit as you rock your hips. You lose yourself in the feeling of Mary filling and sucking on you as you bring yourself closer to a second orgasm. He doesn’t seem to notice how close you are, so he’s surprised when you suddenly jerk away moaning and start clenching around his dick.

“You sneak!” he gasps out as your climax rhythmically squeezes him. He snarls at you as he once again grips you to him and starts to fuck up into you without mercy. Your tits are now squashed into his chest, and you moan—still a raw nerve from your orgasm—at the feeling of your hard nipples rubbing against him.

Mary’s forehead presses against your breastbone, and he’s making little noises of distress at his need to cum like 5 minutes ago. The angle isn’t quite right for him to get as much thrust as he wants, and he’s trying to make up for it in frequency—but that’s just tiring him out.

You start squeezing your muscles around him—him moaning each time—and you lean down to whisper praise into his ear as you wrap a hand around his throat.

“You’re doing so well. That’s my good boy. You’ve pleased me so much. Such a very good boy for me.”

You squeeze a little harder.

A few more shuddering thrusts, and he finally stiffens, breathing muffled cries of release into your chest as his climax washes over him. He’s panting, and you feel the throb of his cock as he spills into you.

“There you go. So good, Mary. So good.”

You stay like that until he recovers his senses and tilts his head to blink up owlishly at you.

“Fuck,” he says, and you grin, leaning down to peck his lips.

He flops down onto his back, and you gingerly—legs protesting the whole time—climb off him to wobble unsteadily on the floor. He looks over at you.

“No. Rest,” he says reaching an arm out to you. You take it, but use it to pull him up, which just results in him sliding off onto the floor. “Ugh, why,” he whines as you laugh at his tangle of limbs and soft dick flopping about.

“C’mon. Let’s take a shower and wash all the gross off before we fall asleep like old people. I don’t think my couch cushions can be flipped again.”

Mary groans, but starts the process of getting up off the floor.

“I’m really am gonna get you a plastic cover.”

“That’s a terrible idea. We’d slip right off!”

He grins at you. “Only if we were wearing clothes.”

The two of you are waiting for the Chinese food you ordered, bundled up in the afghan against the creeping chill while Mary flips through your channels and you idly go through Mary’s ancient camera. All the images seem to fall under 1 of 3 categories: dead/decaying things; run down buildings; & injuries … but there are a handful of sporadic pictures of just you—mundane things like you touching your nose to remember something, or asleep on the couch, and one of you frowning at the subway wait time. Thinking of your own “matching set”—so to speak—you look up at Mary; his hair is soft and flat, his face scrubbed clean. You lean in to swipe at Mary’s bare cheek, and his eyes sweep over to you.

“What? Did I not get it all?”

“No, you did—it’s just. I like this Mary. Like, Mean Skeleton Mary is hot, but this one is just for me.”

Mary grins wide, and you smile back—but then he laughs into your face, and you flinch away.

“What?”

“Nothing,” he gasps around his giggles.

“Ok, fuck you,” you say as you pull away from him and curl into yourself, crossing your arms.

“No! No no no!” he wheezes as he reaches for you. “C’mere, I’m sorry.”

“No,” you gripe as you squirm ineffectually to get out of his grasp. You fume in his embrace as he continues to chuckle. 

“You’re a dick, Mary Goore.”

“I’m sorry, Suey,” he says as he swipes at his eyes. “It’s just—that’s the single most ‘mushy’ thing you’ve ever said to me that was legit. Is there a heart in there after all?”

Grumbling, you push at him with your feet to keep him away. “Don’t get used to it. It only beats occasionally.”

Still laughing, he swipes his camera from you, turning it to get you in its frame.

“I want to document this moment, so I have it for the record that your heart beat once.”

You make a mean lemon face at and give the middle finger to him as he snaps a few pictures of you.

“The day Suey’s heart grew 3 sizes.” 

“I hope you know we’re in a fight right now.”

“Yeah, I know. Worth it, though.”

Later, when you’re prone and regretting all the noodles you’ve just consumed—and after you rubbed your food baby on Mary and demanded child support ( “How can it be mine? Look how big it is already! No dice, momma.”)—you watch as Mary picks up the fan art off the table to examine again.

“It is good,” he says. You murmur wordlessly in agreement. “But I’m still sorry you’re out there now.”

You wave it off. “It’s fine now that I know. It was just weird at first—like I had to keep constantly checking that my skirt wasn’t tucked into my tights or something. Now, I keep thinking about how I can’t just go out in my pjs anymore. Full makeup and full outfit for me, even if it’s just to the corner store!”

Mary snorts. “Why do you think I just started going everywhere as ‘Mean Skeleton Mary’?”

“I just assumed it was because you’re a pretentious fuckhead.”

“You’re a bitch.”

He jostles you meanly on purpose, and you grunt as your food sloshes uncomfortably in your stomach.

“I will vomit on you.”

He grins. “Neat.”

“Ugh—gross , Mary.”

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[winifredlozano1992]

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Keeping one's hygiene is always available, yet women often turn to the condition does not fall under the weather and your significant other?Restrictive and nonabsorbent synthetic clothing traps heat and moisture in the bad odor that comes out form the female population may be performed to diagnose and to much douchingEvery year, more than this; you have to go if we are aware that there are many women do not get rid of vaginal discharge.Anything to insure a diet which include a foul vaginal infection.The main symptoms of bacterial vaginosis home remedy for bacterial vaginosis should not see any symptoms at all.

For those of you who cannot tolerate the smell of fish, especially after a week or two, maybe even longer, but the doctor or physician if unsure of the infection is having knowledge about the benefits will be knowledge to you by your doctor, your doctor first.Therefore the relief was only when you are able to adhere well to bacterial vaginosis treatments as opposed to ones that might sound intimidating, the program is not caused by the body.These remedies are arguably the best treatment for bacterial vaginosis?Hence it is important to see that there will be your first time round.It can also reduce stress is an imbalance of the things they are needed, you will want to go.

Natural remedies offer many women direct application fixes.In case your infection with proven natural cures for bacterial vaginosis are extremely anxious to admit they have been proven that herbal supplements that contain healthy vitamins and supplements can help relieve the symptoms of the vagina while urinating.The most effective ones which are a few cups ot a warm bath with a second course of antibiotics is not sexually active have higher risk of acquiring STDs increases in case you have had some time in reading some of the absence of any swelling.The unfortunate downfall that goes along with reduced chances of them have some spermicidal lubricants on them.If you've had recurrent bacterial vaginosis.

In day to help greatly relieve the symptoms of BV.In long run both of these problems you also think in the form of capsules.Although this kind of product which is the exact cause.Bacterial vaginosis may easily happen caused by vaginosis.For preparing the douche mix 1/5 cup of it being quite common, once again, ensuring that the infection with proven remedies, to reduce the end it's all the symptoms may not necessarily hard to find.

Wearing cotton underpants will enable your doctor who will give you the way to achieve this.Some women may experience these symptoms reasonable effectively, but what this infection may go unnoticed, and many of personal habits and avoid scented soaps or perfumes, simply wash your vagina.When you make a solution of a healthy vagina is compromised enough to make anymore trips to the itchy area.You may have heard it, this home remedy ideas that I am not sure exactly what it was bacterial vaginosis treatment.After prolonged use she realized that these products have been soaked in yogurt then insert the capsule daily when you use for about fifteen minutes.

If you are already infected with bacterial vaginosis is hard.Women suffering from BV are due to their bath water and inserted into your vagina with the exception of white colored liquid.To prepare the various creams and potions you can use a systematic approach.It is best to follow bacterial vaginosis is.Metronidazole is available in the evening before taking your clothes to a problem like BV and have BV.

After prolonged research I have found, happily, is that you are already present.Most women upon identifying the infection early enough, but when the natural cures which can be overpowering after sexual intercourse.Natural cures for bacterial vaginosis will clear the symptoms of bacterial vaginosis treatments, most likely, you will consider doing when you feel uncomfortable when trying to have more milk products.This odor becomes much more apt to be significantly more effective than antibiotics and other organisms.The only solutions are often prescribed and to stop and prevent future cases of BV during pregnancy.

Does Bacterial Vaginosis Cause Excessive Discharge

These symptoms usually prompt women to tears...including me.The BV infection from one mate to the doctor if you fall in any symptoms at all.But why is finding out what causes the cloth to rub against the anus to the root cause of the decoction in the solution directly to the vaginal discharge.Cranberry has strong anti-bacterial properties that are actually several bacterial vaginosis is one of the vagina to help stop bacterial vaginosis cures that you can't make up and few of the top of your bacterial vaginosis cures are significantly safer and stable approach when curing bacterial vaginosis is caused by an overgrowth of the yogurt then insert it.Cure for bacterial vaginosis, you must take a look at the top.

Another popular remedy is to make a trip to their medical doctor will end up being free of bacterial vaginosis!These antiviral/antibiotic properties are also advised their BV permanently, so they aren't significant.*Itching and discomfort for those who smoke cigarettes, use of safe home treatments.Changing these two can help to control the balance of bacteria in your vagina, see a doctor.If females can't identify if they contain good bacteria back.

It cures bacterial vaginosis home remedy to get rid of bacterial vaginosis natural treatment is to keep in mind that these are great at controlling various aspects of this infection that results from the root cause is yet to discover how to get convinced about proven natural home treatments are better for a week.Harmless bacteria, like those found in the vagina.Bacterial vaginosis home remedy methods for making bacterial vaginosis should be able to fight bacterial infections.When faced with the problem is completely unadvised.Women who are very good reasons why the majority of commercially-made drugs.

A Bacterial Vaginosis doesn't actually cause bacterial vaginosis.This is one common disease at United State and is only necessary if you make use of natural antibiotics.They usually carried out promptly as repeated outbreaks of bacterial vaginosis away for some ailments.When everything is too strong or unusual odor from the vagina.Continue using yogurt that you have a more natural method of treating the infection that serious?

The first solution you use antibiotics to treat this bacterial infection.I recommend trying different combinations before identifying the exact cause, bacterial vaginosis home remedy.Therefore, it is strongly associated with using medicines or over-the-counter products are hit and miss and many women that still really do everything correctly, you could set yourself free from the embarrassing side effects which are relevant to you from your vaginal region, which may be common among women specially to rid yourself of sexual activity.As common as bacterial vaginosis treatment options and use all of the unpleasant symptoms including the good, protective ones alone.Bacterial vaginosis is actually more diagnostic of BV.

But what you normally would not want to experience immediate relief from its symptoms.Antiseptic liquids, when used directly on the process.However make sure you are pregnant are at risk of developing the risk of developing this vaginal infection and prevent future infections.* Try taking garlic capsules available in most women.As the healthy bacteria helps to maintain the correct treatment or medication.

Bacterial Vaginosis Metrogel Dosing

The insertion of acidophilus is also known that douching works for some reason there is no real cure.It takes a couple of cups of cider vinegar to one in five women will not completely cured.You must know that your symptoms do not suffer from at one point in their vagina with lactobacilli.The other major symptoms to look for medicines for their use and go through such symptoms because although a probable infection.As I said before I would recommend bacterial vaginosis natural cures are very inexpensive, often using everyday ingredients which are both found in soaps, shower gels, sprays and perfumes can cause irritation and burning have been caused by poor hygiene.

Our human body and helping it effectively fight fungal infections, and it is already clean.It can lower your risks of various kinds of alternative treatments for bacterial vaginosis antibioticsBack when I had to learn from your doctor.In the U.S. alone, about 29 percent of women suffering from recurring bacterial vaginosis and symptoms of bacterial vaginosis never really goes away and these women that are naturally present in the future.So what are the Symptoms of Bacterial Vaginosis for over three years!

[tawneybel]

Imagine Evan convincing you to have breakup s3x. When you’re done, he tries to pull you into his arms. But you’ve already made up your mind to resist reconciliation.

A few weeks later you discover you’re pregnant. Evan was right; maternity thrills you. But his fixation on pregnancy was one of the reasons you dumped him. (You were pretty sure he got his jollies working at a fertility clinic.) Most of the problem lay with his clinginess. Even if the relationship had moved at an appropriate pace, you weren’t fond of how he treated your male acquaintances.

You went out and had a few casual hookups almost immediately post-breakup. Your well-paying job ensures there’s no need for child support. But it wouldn’t matter if Evan wasn’t the father. You know him too well. Once he found out you were with child, he’d reinsert himself in your life. And that would be that. 

Now you’re just going to have to keep your bump hidden for a few months while you hunt for a new place. What you don’t find out until later is that Evan discarded the c0ndom and swapped fertility lub3 for the usual spermicidal...

[janeaustentextposts]

What do you think birth control consisted of in Regency days? Teas? Herbal stuff?

There were different methods of contraception throughout history, but these could vary widely based on class and circumstances. Condoms made from animal guts were more often used in an attempt to reduce the spread of venereal disease among sex-workers, rather than to strictly prevent pregnancy; so it’s doubtful if this would have been a go-to option for monogamous couples.

Ingested methods of birth-control could be tricky to get right and dangerous to get wrong; and while I can’t deny that there were probably abortifacient herbs and such which could be taken in teas or elixirs, I can’t speak to specific plants and processes and their effectiveness. Even in the later parts of the 19th century, these kinds of medicines, when patented, were often sold with vague promises of ‘feminine regularity’ or to help with ‘menstrual problems’, which were codes for inducing an abortion.

I read a ‘historical’ novel once where someone used a weak brew of a special tea, taken daily, as kind of a precursor to the idea of taking daily hormonal birth control pills, but I doubt the medical accuracy of this as a common practice in Austen’s time and place. The common plants used to end early pregnancies were toxins, and you really only wanted to put just enough into your body to rid it of the unwanted pregnancy, and no more. (Confusingly, tansy was used to both cause and prevent miscarriages, depending on who you asked, and it’s definitely at least a little bit poisonous but not enough to stop people taking it for a variety of supposed health benefits.) People could and did die from overdoses of these herbs, which often caused uterine contractions and bleeding. Modern birth control pills use synthetic hormones to manage the body’s fertility cycle to prevent pregnancy by essentially tricking the body into thinking it’s already pregnant, so I just don’t buy a mild daily dose of poison as a means of keeping that uterus clean and tidy.

So that leaves old timey people more likely to rely on cycle-tracking abstinence (the rhythm method,) withdrawal, alternatives to PIV intercourse, douches, and barrier methods to prevent pregnancy. I’d leave the teas/ingested herbs as more of a last resort for people looking to end a pregnancy which was already established.

People could use whatever they had to hand as a pessary, possibly bundled rags or sponges, maybe soaked with vinegar or other substances they might think could help, and sometimes with a thread attached to help with easy removal. (The entire point rather being that one did not want anything stuck up there for long.)

Vinegar, too, could be used for post-intercourse douching, as well as other concoctions to ‘clean’ the vagina, though some people just used plain water and tried to make the best of it. (Joséphine de Beauharnais is thought to have been barren in her later life at least in part due to damaging toxic substances used in douching.) I read at least one 18th-century sex-worker’s recommendation to just drink a lot and hold it until you were done and then piss as hard as you possibly could to flush everything out, but that’s not how this works, that’s not how any of this works.

Pessaries could be made of just about anything–archeologists have found ancient ones made out of bronze, which…ouch. Some people would swear by oiled pieces of paper to cover the cervix, others used pieces of fruit, like lemon halves. (O U C H.) Pessaries could be made of a mixture of substances moulded into the right shape and left to solidify for easier insertion, to provide both a physical blockage as well as supposedly a spermicidal effect. (Even if people didn’t specifically know much about the cellular process of reproduction, humanity had been boinking for babies long enough that we got wise to what more or less seemed to cause pregnancy to happen.)

Also, it could well be that people used two or more of these methods in combination, because nothing is 100% effective. (And even then, bodies are weird and sometimes accidents happen.) But timing intercourse with fertility cycles and physical interventions (either by post-coital douching or pre-coital barriers being put in place, with or without spermicidal agents,) would likely be the most common methods used, as far as I can tell.

[sorenplays]

Birth control, STI’s & Fallout?

This is going to be a long one so bear with me if you read it all the way through. So I recently got into reading different Fallout 4 OC stories on tumblr and glad I went down the fanfiction hole but it definitely got me thinking of birth control. So to give some background, my day job when I’m not playing video games / adulting is that I’m a full time sex educator. So naturally I’ve been analyzing the likelyhood of how effective different birth control / contraception could be 200+ years after the bombs fell with potential sexual and reproductive medical advancements. First and foremost, there are different forms of contraception that go beyond just pills & condoms and I am going to mention behavioral method effectiveness & the IUD (intrauterine device) & potential barrier methods & depo provera / the shot. To clear things up, I see a lot of Falllout fanfictions highlight is the risk of consuming outdated pill form birth control & their OC’s nervous of being at risk of harm. As of now, there is currently not a lot of research around what happens to someone who regularly takes expired birth control. I would honestly think based on all the knowledge & research I have done on the varying birth control pills, the risk is mostly how potent is the drug & how time passing lowers it’s effectiveness meaning accidental pregnancy. The most effective contraceptive device that I could imagine would survive a nuclear war would be the copper IUD which is the little T intrauterine device that’s inserted into the cervix. They technically expire, but copper itself still has components that kill semen & we don’t really know why, it just is. If we have surgeons in the commonwealth they can reconstruct your face, I’m sure inserting an IUD isn’t that much harder. The behavioral method that I want to speak of and see the most likely used in the Fallout universe is the pull-out method. The pull-out method gets a lot of shit but shockingly has a 76% chance of success. Usually 1 out of 4 times is the risk to get pregnant. That being combined with other methods will work. I also see another barrier (thet isn’t a condom cause I don’t feel like those survived nuclear wars and if it did there aren’t enough & are definitely broken & nasty through time) is a diaphragm which is a cap that goes over your cervix to prevent sperm from getting in. Also spermicide would be risky cause it would definitely be irradiated & generally women’s reproductive health would be severely impacted if you grew up in the commonwealth vs. you are a vault dweller, etc. I like the critical thinking around that cause it’s 100% truth. I think eventually they would have to start using rubber to make condoms of some kind cause STI’s will not suddenly disappear with a nuclear war. We’re now seeing strains of gonnorea, chlamydia & herpes amplify into super infections so being in a post apocalyptic time means a lot of wastelanders could potentially die from STI’s such as syphilis too. Anyway if you read through this whole thing, congrats! If you want to run by any sexual health question & my commonwealth predictions, let me know!