#spirits tw

[lcstkey]

Sequel to A Dangerous Thing 

Trigger Warnings: death mention, corpse mention, spirits, blood, survival guilt and post trauma mention

The young lancer could only stare up toward the cliffside at Carlisle’s head turned toward his group. She is too shocked to scream. The sharp winds were already slicing at her leather armor and the skin on her exposed face. If Artemis wanted to survive, she knew that she needed to act quick within the next few seconds and so she did; with a flick of her wrist, a Corridor to Darkness opens underneath her. She falls in and the door closes.

The next moments felt agonizingly slow. Artemis would have betted that she had been falling for at least half a bell, perhaps more than one. She closes her eyes and breathes for one long minute that feels like an eternity. When the lancer reopens her eyes again, she twists her body around to flick her wrist one more and opens another Corridor.

Just to fall face first into the snow below.

Groaning, she manages to flop herself so that she could see the cliffsides and skies above and sit up slowly. Artemis shakes the snow off her head and quietly observes her surroundings.

Am I on another world? Did I make it to Hope Village? She wonders with a wince as she looks down at her armor and inspecting the severe damage it took, Ow, least I landed okay. I don’t quite recall my Star having a canyon and I don’t see a way up either…

Grabbing her lance, Artemis stands up unsteadily and slowly staggers towards the only opening ahead of her in the west. Only a few moments later, she trips over the obstacle buried in the snow and falls face first once again. She screams into the snow in frustration.

Standing up once more, the young lancer wipes the ice from her face then roughly kicks the obstacle only to wince and grits her teeth as a sharp pain shoots up her own leg. Her own curiosity getting the better of her; she kneels down to wipe the snow off and finds an armored corpse underneath.

The lancer removes the corpse’s helmet to find an Elezen’s face underneath. She pauses to inspect their armor then her own and frowns, shakes her head. Other than their limbs being twisted in the wrong direction like a fragile doll dropped from a height, their armor is in much better shape than her own and they appear to be of similar height to her. She concludes combination of the cold and the injuries must have killed them.

Forgive me, you have no need of it now that you are dead and I won’t survive another blow with mine as is. Artemis whispers to herself. She trades her armor for theirs and lastly, puts their helmet on. The gloves seem to fit loosely on her own hands. She notes how sleek and heavy it is compared to the leather, almost like a dragon’s scales.

A glint catches her eye and she inspects the area around them once again, finding a sapphire blue stone fitting into the palm of her hand. Her brows furrow as it faintly shines with an otherworldly glow and her fingers trace over the draconic symbol etched into it. Artemis puts the stone into a pouch just to find two worn envelopes already occupying the space; the ink on the addressees having begun to fade.

These are Eorzean letters… Am I still in Eorzea?  She wonders as she examines the handwriting on the envelopes, recognizing the letters, I’ll make sure that these reach home…It’s the least I could do.

Hoping to find a way up, Artemis staggers west. With each heavy step, she could hear intelligible whispers in the cold winds when no one else should be around. From the corner of her eye, the lancer thought she had seen someone, or perhaps something, but to find no one there when she turns her head in that direction. A trick of the wind?

The canyon grows darker the further she delved and Selena grips her lance tight.

                                             “Selena.”

Pivoting on her right foot, she swiftly turns around to point the tip of her lance at a young girl’s throat staring up at her. She appeared of no more than eight summers yet the pallid skin of face and body are covered in a monster’s claw marks, no longer bleeding, more akin to rotting, and bone peeking through the wounds.

The phantom girl blinks with silver eyes, clouded by death. A trait shared by the young lancer in front of her and their mother. 

“Solaria...?”

Artemis finds herself having trouble to breath, feeling like suffocating, and all color draining from her face. 

“...What reason do you have left to fight for, Selena...?” asks the phantom sister as she takes a step toward her. Selena steps back. Her grip on her lance shakes.

“Everyone’s dead. Except for you. You survived against all odds.” Hints of anger, envy in the phantom’s voice begin to grow from the smallest of embers. 

“Leaping from Star to Star, new world from new world. Having adventures while the rest of us rot on our own Star’s corpse.” She steps forward and Selena steps back, “Searching for a world already dead. How stupid are you? It took you FOREVER to realize we’re all gone.”

Multiple pairs of golden eyes began to glow in the dark surrounding them. The lancer whips her head and her lance around rapidly. She doesn’t get a chance to respond.

“Why are YOU alive? Why are YOU fighting to be alive?” The phantom sister screams at Selena, clouded silver eyes now shining a bright gold, “YOU PROMISED THAT WE’D LEAVE TOGETHER! THAT WE’D HAVE ADVENTURES TOGETHER!”

Selena covers her ears, but they are still ringing and her heart is beating loud and rapidly. 

The phantom girl’s body twists, bones breaking, flesh reinventing itself from the younger sister to a much larger shadow with long claws and antennae-like horns. It disappears, hiding in the darkness, in front of her eyes.

A moment later, Selena finds herself slammed face-first into the snow from behind, landing on her lance, breaking it into two pieces in each hand. Her back hurts, claw marks scarring the stolen armor. With fear in her eyes, she kicks the shadow off, tosses away the broken weapon, and scrambles to get up. 

The darkness becomes a horde on the chase, with the shadow that used to be her sister leading them.

She runs east, back to the beginning where she’d become trapped once more by the canyon’s walls. Selena swiftly turns around and unconsciously flicks her wrist, the Heartsickness keyblade faithfully returning to her hand. Feeling the keyblade’s hilt twist beneath her grip, the keybearer looks down to find that the weapon has transformed into a lance resembling its previous form.

“I could work with this...” Selena whispers to herself and adjusts her position, pointing the key-lance at the shadow horde. She charges then starts with a huge leap, silver flames enveloping her and her weapon. The little blue stone shining inside her pouch. She performs a dragonfire dive, taking out a noticeable number of shadows.

Taking out shadow after shadow, the keybearer has found her song, her rotation, as a lancer, perhaps even something more. It does not take long for them to regroup, becoming a monstrous tornado reaching above the canyon walls. 

 Her key-lance transforms back to the keyblade and she raises it up high, casting Dark Blizzaza upon the horde to freeze it in its place. Hearing the ice crack, she stares up anxiously, unsure how to finish them off before they break through the ice. 

“Take a breath, Ar-tee-mas.”

The environment surround her melts into an unfamiliar-yet-familiar setting; an arena set under a scarlet sky and red Star staring down on her. Glancing down, Selena takes a startled step back as she finds herself knee deep in blood. Screens framed by fragile gold hold shifting images of another lifetime from six to seven summers past. 

She fails to notice the bleeding corpses sitting on the arena stands, skinless and staring with empty eyes. 

A seemingly harmless elderly man standing in front of her with a staff in hand. She finds herself scared and trembling at the sight of him.

“Don’t look at me like so, girl. According to your memory, I’m very much gone. Left for dead on a dying world.” He chides her with a sinister chuckle, “You need my memory for a spell you’ve forgotten and we don’t have much time so listen well.”

“Raise your blade high. Do you feel that current?”

Closing her eyes, Selena raises her keyblade high, feeling an electrical energy flowing through her blood. Dark clouds begin to form and rumble above her. 

“Remember to breath. In...Out. Good.” 

She could feel her blood screaming and heart thundering. Taking a breath, Selena briefly opens her eyes, silver glowing bright with an aetheric glow. 

“Now...Cast!” 

“Thundaza!” The keybearer screams, as the vision is shattered when the singular lightning strike snakes down to contact with the frozen shadow horde tornado. The force of the spell knocks her back. Her head hurts, ringing a shrill sound.

“Ow...” She groans, sitting up and catches her breath. A quick scan over the area tells her that she did it; the shadows are gone. Her keyblade had stuck the ground several feet away from her right hand. 

Believing to be hearing voices from nearby, the panicking Selena straightens up and scrambles to stand up, not quite regaining her balance. With shaking hands, she swiftly dismisses her keyblade and struggles to open a Corridor of Darkness. 

When the Corridor opens in front of her, the keybearer quickly steps in. The Corridor closes just before the bewildered group of Temple Knights arrive to find the scorched aftermath of the battle.

[divineandmajesticinone]

Haku's eyes SPIRITED AWAY 千と千尋の神隠し(2001)

[chatlote]

Target Found: Goro Akechi's Palace. The story of how I stopped taking the subway.

[casinocatt]

(Its cranboo)

[artingstarvist]

TGCF Vol 3, Chp. 43 - 44 (First "Kiss") Part 2 / 5 (First, Next)

Next part is finally done! Xie Lian's inner monologue kills me.

Novel excerpt under the cut:

[denotes panel #]

[1, 2] Xie Lian blinked, trying desperately to bat away the thousands upon millions of lingering crystalline bubbles. [3] Then he found himself caught by a pair of strong arms. [4, 5] One hand circled his waist, and the other grasped his chin. [6] In the next second, something cold and soft covered his lips. [7]In that instant, Xie Lian's eyes bulged. Never in his life had anyone treated him like this. First, no one dared, second, no one could. However this person was swift like the devil and had appeared so suddenly that he had no chance to defend himself before he'd been plunged into such a state. [8, 9] Flustered, he thrashed and desperately tried to push the person away. [10] Instead, he only succeeded in choking on large mouthfuls of water as string after string of bubbles escaped his mouth like crystal beads. Of course, this was a big mistake underwater. [11] The hands round his waist only tightened, pressing their bodies closer together, and Xie Lian's struggling hands were firmly folded and crushed against his own chest, trapping them in place. [12] His lips, too, were securely sealed. The kiss deepened, and with it, a breath of cool, gentle air was transferred into his mouth. [13, 14, 15] Completely helpless and at a loss, just as Xie Lian began to accept his fate, he finally saw the person's face clearly. [16] It was Hua Cheng. [17] The moment he realized it was Hua Cheng, he stopped struggling. Innumerable random thoughts popped into his mind, all inappropriate for the time and place, such as : So it was Hua Cheng! No wonder he's cold. [18] Ghosts don't need to breathe, but he can still transfer air to me?! [19] Don't ghosts sink in the water? [20] Hua Cheng suddenly opened his eye. [21, 22] Staring into that dark eye from such an intimate distance, Xie Lian froze again, then resumed struggling, his arms flailing like a duck so clumsy it was drowning. [23, 24] Hua Cheng easily corralled those thrashing limbs, and with his arm still firmly locked around Xie Lian's waist, Hua Cheng took him and speedily swam upward.

[aria-greenhoodie]

*stumbles out of my drawing app covered in dirt and blood* Heyyyy um. Um. This.

CLICK FOR QUALITY!!!

[one-time-i-dreamt]

Tom Nook had a personal grudge against the fox from Spirit Of The North because he kept messing up the aesthetic of the mountain in his town by lighting the magic rune stones scattered around the mountain. He held a costume party on a train and told people to kill the fox if they found it. The fox was there, for some reason, and he was in disguise, dressed as a cat. When Tom Nook realised that the fox was there, he ordered everyone to chase after him, and the fox escaped by going down a giant stone slide until it fell down a well.

[gertritude-art]

some more siffrin doodles

[lcstkey]

Trigger Warnings: long post, alcohol mention, hallucination, corpse mention, death mention, murder mention, ghost, spirits, supernatural, blood, injury, burned skin, racism

From his post at the Mih Khetto’s Amphitheater, Carlisle watched the young girl with suspicion as she began to question certain individuals, those who had someone dear to them go missing recently. Artemis’ squirrel resting on her shoulders and the three-legged griffin cub tailing behind her.

He saw that she often either their ire for her insensitivity or the stubborn persistence, perhaps both. From the desperation of her voice, Artemis appeared to be searching for answers as if her life depended on them. The Wood Wailer doubted her; if they hadn’t found any shred of clues to go by what made her so sure that she would?

Carlisle had made it known as he stomped to her table at the Carline Canopy. The Wood Wailer’s harsh words and insults caused her to flinch but the girl had kept her pale eyes down at the food she picked and the worn map of Gridania and the Shrouds spread across the table. He ended it with a warning to not go poking in others’ affairs and ended it with certain name-calling, calling her an Al Mhigan brat.

Stupid kid is going to get herself killed…

At his night post, the Wood Wailer watched her venture out alone, lance on her back, having instructed the griffin cub and the squirrel to wait for her at the entrance of the Carline Canopy. She appeared to be trekking toward the Central Shroud.

Little did he know that Artemis would fail to return for several nights.

It was on the fifth night that the young adventurer stumbled back to the Carline Canopy and headed straight toward the innkeeper of the Roost. She appeared as if she had become a coeurl’s play toy; her armor’s all clawed up, bloodied from injuries, dirtied, and falling apart. Artemis held her hand to the right side of her head, blood pooling through her fingers.

Mother Miounne’s sharp gasp caused his gaze to turn toward her then toward the swaying girl. Carlisle stepped in to block her way and in turn, bumping into her. Her pale eyes glare up at him as she told him to go away, that she did not want to deal with him and “the lance forever stuck up his ass” and wanting to sleep. A scream from the table next to them cause his attention follow toward their gaze: to the bloodied Hyuran ear hanging off her head.

The ear that had been nearly ripped off, the ear she had been cradling to prevent its loss. Losing consciousness from the injury and blood loss, she is the next to fall. The Wood Wailer is quick to catch her then immediately and adamantly demanded for a chirurgeon.

The young adventurer would not wake until the next night. The chirurgeons were able to successfully reattach the ear, but they could not make heads and tails about the strange acidic burns behind and on the torn ear. The chirurgeons could tell and say that the injury is darkness-based so in theory her attacker may have been a Voidsent or someone, something, with a strong affinity toward Darkness.

He once asked her if she had found the missing and witnessed an expression so haunted he only saw on the Calamity survivors and those who had fought against the Empire. That expression that should not belong to an adventurer so young yet now he suspects that she had more stories to tell than she had let on.

Artemis shook her head silently then whispered, “They’re never coming home.”

The Wood Wailer took her discarded armor and lance to have them repaired while the chirurgeons did their work in another room. He would mentally note that that while her armor has been severely damaged, her lance still appeared as if the weapon hadn’t been used in the encounter at all.

~~~

“I looked up to you, you know.”

Artemis’ phantom is staring down at him, crouching down from atop the table, with clouded eyes. Her armor and the flesh on her face clawed and torn as if she had been ripped apart by Garuda’s talons. She smiles somberly whilst the Wood Wailer stared down at his drink with sunken eyes. His companions did not notice and continued their banter.

 “All I ever wanted to, ever tried to do was help. That’s what it means to be an adventurer isn’t it?” She asks almost innocently. Carlisle swallows the lump forming in his throat and feels the guilt settle in the pit of his stomach. He never forgot the sight of the shock and fear in her pale eyes when he pushed her off that cliff in the North Shroud. It’s been many moons since that day and thanks to their ruse, the young adventurer was remembered as a hero who lost her life saving his Wood Wailer party from the Voidsent.

“What explanation did you have, Ala Mhigan brat?” He grumbles under his breath, briefly recalling her last words and earning a disturbed expression from the companion seated next to him. The young adventurer furrows her brows as she did whilst in deep thought and removes herself from the table top, pacing as he turned to watch. The next few moments were too excruciatingly long.

“…I don’t remember…” Artemis answers finally, flinching underneath his glare and then in her accusatory tone, “You killed me before I could tell you anything, don’t you remember?” In a fit of rage, he slams down his drink and just as he turns his gaze away from the phantom girl, his eyes catch a fleeting shadow slipping out the door of the Carline Canopy. He swiftly stands, grabbing his lance whilst his companions quieted and could only watch in stunned silence. A little griffin cub and a squirrel laying together beside the door briefly turn their gazes up to watch him leave.

He found himself chasing that shadow through the markets, pushing through the crowds to wandering out of Gridania, taking the boat to the East Shroud. The beady-eyed shadow leads him to the Bramble Patch where the young adventurer once trained herself against the boars and bats against her lance.

Expecting to hear silence, Carlisle instead hears a hushed voice telling an “Umbra” to dig there and rushes in through the brambles, expecting bandits or poachers. Instead, he sees an enormous wolf of shadow standing behind a familiar adventurer, now donning a hooded cloak on top of a dragoon’s armor and her hair chopped short. A dirty backpack and a pile of soil lays at her feet.

Despite the change in her appearance, he recognizes the fear in those unclouded, pale eyes and feels the dark hate rise and burn as he realizes that she somehow survived that fatal fall. The adventurer steps back, nearly bumping into the snarling wolf who began to step in front of her.

“Carlisle…?” Artemis asks, her voice shaking and unsure, “I-is that you?” Since when did his eyes turn to the same yellow eyes as the Shadows? And why were there half a dozen Shadows lurking at his side that he failed to notice?

[bloggingboutburgers]

When I talk about how I don't like sex, it's so people like me can feel "more normal" and not so "broken". Not so everyone else can feel "less normal".

Can't believe we still have to say stuff like that all the time in any context of advocacy but this isn't about making things worse for you. It's about making stuff a little bit better for everyone so everyone can be seen. Not even necessarily understood. Just seen.

(PS: I don't wanna put a disclaimer on literally all of my posts to say I mean no ill to allo people. That should be implied. With that said, to all the allo people who DON'T react like that: thank you. Y'all give me hope.)

[reyrapidsbutgayer]

Ranking All Elden Ring Bosses by Fuckability

It was only a matter of time until I made a post like this.

In this hypothetical all of the bosses can be reasonably communicated with and are not actively trying to kill you.

Repeat bosses not included, duo bosses counted seperate.

It should also be assumed that all of these bosses have access to their magic/items/resources to benefit them in bed.

Explanation of Grading system:

Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)

These characters are not sentient enough to communicate consent, or are physically incapable of sex.

Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)

Character sucks so badly that they do not deserve to experience pleasure in any shape or form.

Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)

These character are fully capable of sex but would never participate in sex due to lack of interest or overabundance of moral convictions.

Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)

I mean, you COULD have sex with these characters but why would you?

Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)

These characters are average in bed, nothing crazy or noticeable. Some might end up in this category because they ARE good at sex, but the entire process would be inconvenient or uncomfortable to initiate.

Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)

These characters are good at sex, give or take a few points depending on their mood or situation.

Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)

These characters excel in giving pleasure and would be well worth the time and effort involved.

Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)

These characters would be so good at sex that all other factors are irrelevant. They are serving and we are here for it.

Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)

These are characters that should fall lower in the rankings, but their sexual prowess supersedes their inherent awfulness to a noteworthy degree.

Full list below the read more. Obviously it's not going to be sfw.

Ineligible: (Cannot give consent)

Dragonkin Soldier:

Mindless beast

Astel, Naturalborn of the Void

Weird rock alien, doesn't/can't understand.

Fia's Champions:

Ghosts, simps.

Regal Ancestor Spirit

Animal

Erdtree Avatar

A plant

Great Wyrm Theodorix

Mindless beast.

Ulcerated Tree Spirit

A plant, no junk

Tibia Mariner:

Skeleton

Red Wolf of the Champion:

Animal.

Full-Grown Fallingstar Beast

Weird rock alien, doesn't/can't understand.

Abductor Virgin

First off, just some snakes in a robot. Second, virgin.

Erdtree Burial Watchdog

Stone gargoyle

Crystalians

Non-organic

Mad Pumpkin Heads

Unable to consent due to madness.

Cemetery Shade

Unable to consent due to mind controlling parasite.

Spirit-Caller Snail

Animal

Runebear

Animal

Miranda the Blighted Bloom

A plant

Guardian Golem

Stone gargoyle

Starscourge Radahn:

Unable to consent due to madness

Unfuckable: (Can give consent, but does not DESERVE sex)

Elden Beast:

Too catholic.

Sir Gideon Ofnir, the All-Knowing:

Dick game weak - unironically posts joker memes.

Omenkiller:

Basically a cop.

Necromancer Garris:

Killed his family, not a good husband.

Royal Revenant:

Won't stop screaming (in an unsexy way)

Godrick the Grafted:

Incel - Also all that murder and torture business but mostly the Incel stuff.

Uninterested: (Can give consent, does not WANT sex)

Valiant Gargoyle:

Could probably have sex if it wanted to, but is kinda going through a lot right now. Ya know, that whole "Is made of several corpses mashed together" thing.

Malenia, Blade of Miquella:

Look, I ALSO wanted her to higher up on this list, but let's be honest here. Her body is rotting and falling apart, she just isn't up for sex in her current form. In her prime? She'd be top of the list. She's the daughter of Marika and Radagon, she'd be playing fuck/marry/kill with every warrior who crossed her path. (in that order)

Death Rite Bird:

I think it might be physically capable of sex, but is too busy burning corpses to bother with stuff like that.

Black Blade Kindred:

Same reason as the Valiant Gargoyle but you might have like 2% more of a chance because they are goth.

Maliketh, the Black Blade:

Would normally be a sex god, but is too religious. Probably took a vow about this sort of thing.

Morgott, the Omen King:

You kidding me? This guy has the same energy as a repressed youth pastor. He's gonna be a virgin till the day he dies. The dude sided with the same religious order that locked him a sewer and tried to kill him. He's not out there getting phone numbers he's too busy praying and judging others for their 'impure thoughts'.

Draconic Tree Sentinel:

Married to his job, also physically chained to his horse. He ain't taking off that armor anytime soon.

Wormface:

Too sad, leave him alone his face is full of worms.

Tree Sentinel:

Same as the Draconic Tree Sentinel but he's a tiny bit more naive so you might have a better chance.

Elder Dragon Greyoll:

Too sleepy, but still kinda a milf.

Grafted Scion:

There might be some genitals in there somewhere but I don't think they know how or even want to use them.

Not worth it: (Can give consent, is terrible in bed)

Esgar, Priest of Blood:

No sense of hygiene, is always covered in blood (in an unsexy way)

Mohg, Lord of Blood:

This loser is dripping with all the least sexy bodily fluids and he has sharp horns sticking out of him. Even if you got him in bed you'd only enjoy like 5% of it. Plus you just know he'd be all needy afterwards and try to get you to join his MLM.

Borealis the Freezing Fog:

Too cold, not a snuggler.

Elemer of the Briar:

The armor stays ON during sex.

Kindred of Rot:

It's like all the worst possible aspects of alien biology, it won't be nearly as fun as you hoped.

Sanguine Noble:

Same as all the other Mohg followers, too sticky and too smelly.

Decaying Ekzykes:

He's sick right now, leave him alone.

Acceptable: (Can give consent, would be fine in bed)

Loretta, Knight of the Haligtree:

I'm sure she'd be a decent lover. Maybe a little overzealous but she'd has good intentions.

Grave Warden Duelist:

I mean these guys are hot and probably fuck like a truck but they are not the most caring lovers, also they are covered in live snakes so there is that.

Night's Cavalry:

If you like goth knights I'm sure they'd be fine.

Alabaster Lord:

Their skin probably feels like stone, but I bet they can pull off all sorts of freaky zero-g sex stuff if you ask them.

Onyx Lord:

Same as the Alabaster Lord but slightly more goth.

Fell Twins:

Once you get past the horns and stuff I bet the Omens are actually pretty good in bed, just watch out.

Demi-Human Queens:

I feel like all Demi-humans are pretty good lovers but their biology probably has some unexpected drawbacks.

Stonedigger Troll:

If you can get past the texture and the size I bet they could be decent in bed.

Flying Dragon Greyll:

A surprisingly unsexy dragon, but a dragon is a dragon and still worth at least a one night stand.

A dragon willing to kill racist magic users, earns them a few extra points.

Glintstone Dragon Smarag:

Beastman of Farum Azula:

On one hand the Beastmen probably have crazy mating skills, but they are also zombies, which detracts some points for all the decay.

Battlemage Hugues:

Contrary to popular belief, Wizards are not very good at sex. They spend all their time studying instead of partying, at least Hugues is willing to get his hands dirty.

Commander O'Neil:

Seems like a decent guy, but probably won't shut up about his time in the military. Also he is infected with scarlet rot so that might be a mood killer.

Bloodhound Knight Darriwil:

The bloodhound knights are probably pretty wild in bed if you can earn their loyalty, but good luck with that.

Adan, Thief of Fire:

The dude committed heresy, that has to earn him some sexy points.

Soldier of Godrick:

He's a good boy, he's doing his job so throw him a bone.

Flying Dragon Agheel:

One of the first dragons you encounter, so he earns some points for style.

Demi-Human Chief:

Same as the queens, but probably a bit rougher in bed.

Good Time: (Can give consent, would be great in bed)

Lichdragon Fortissax:

A much sexier dragon, you know they were hooking up with Godwin. Only loses some points for all the death rot.

Crucible Knight Siluria:

A bit gloomy, but I bet the crucible knights can do all sorts of freaky stuff with their animal body parts.

Mimic Tear:

A slippery liquid shapeshifter, need I say more?

Commander Niall:

A way better guy than O'Niel, plus he just a bit more daddy energy.

Fire Giant:

Once you get past his size, his sadness and the giant fell god of destruction in his chest, I bet he's got something going on.

Ancient Hero of Zamor:

Gives me Hercules/Amazonian vibes, I could be into it.

Cleanrot Knight:

Lesbian activities detected.

Crucible Knight:

These guys have tails, horns, wings and big old throat sacks. Imagine the possibilities.

Glintstone Dragon Adula:

Has a sword. If you hear "Dragon holding a sword" and your pants aren't already off, we can't be friends.

Bols, Carian Knight:

He seems like a good boy.

Scaly Misbegotten:

I feel like the Misbegotten have some really interesting possibilities with their animal biology. I bet they have bonobo type societies and that could be fun.

Leonine Misbegotten:

Same as the other Misbegotten.

Misbegotten Warrior:

Same as the other Misbegotten.

Knock your socks off: (Can give consent, would be amazing in bed)

Crucible Knight Ordovis:

Has all the desirable traits of a Crucible Knight but I also imagine they are super into threesomes.

Perfumer Tricia:

She seems really nice, and would be a super attentive lover. Plus she probably has access to crazy drugs and could hook you up.

Nox Swordstress & Nox Priest:

You just know that the Nox were getting up to crazy hot and crazy unethical experiments in their underground cities. These two probably get up to some wild shit and they are inviting you to join them.

Rennala, Queen of the Full Moon:

As she is now, I bet she'd be too sad to really be in a relationship again. But she kept up with Radagon and you just know she has some tricks up her sleeves that could make you abandon the golden order.

Sex God: (Can give consent, would be the best in bed)

Dragonlord Placidusax:

Has two male heads and three female heads, imagine...

Ancient Dragon Lansseax:

Formed a whole freaky dragon/human cult and you just know they got into some eyes-wide-shut orgies behind those doors.

Godfrey, First Elden Lord (Hoarah Loux):

We all knew he'd be this high on the list. He was just a normal dude but he managed to keep pace with Queen Marika (Who is basically a goddess of fertility) for a good long while. He will fold you in half (on the battlefield and in the bedroom.)

Evil Sex God: (Can give consent, is a terrible person but you’d make an exception.)

Radagon of the Golden Order:

He sucks in all the worst ways, but I mean... You can't NOT. Both Radagon and Marika are the embodiment of evil but they managed to suck and fuck their way across an entire continent for generations. You HAVE to give a try at least once.

Godskin Duo:

Oh my god will it be awful with all those flayed human skins, but you know you are still gonna have to. They can stretch and do all sorts of freaky stuff with their bodies, plus they kill gods and nothing is sexier than heresy.

Vyke, Knight of the Roundtable:

The dude is a mad killer but... he can still probably get it, might as well give it a try.

God-Devouring Serpent / Rykard, Lord of Blasphemy:

Personally I wouldn't, he's a loser and will probably kill you. But he is also a giant snake made up of squirming hands doing all sorts of sexual experiments, I can't blame you if you want to give it a taste.

Black Knife Assassin:

They committed a whole lot of treason but the power of armored lesbians is too hard to resist.

Patches:

If you are already having sex with from software characters, you gotta give Patches at least one attempt. When you wake up he'll have robbed you, but you knew what you were getting into.

[animeglitch]

[oneinchfrog]

you walk in on your friend giving herself a c section with a kitchen knife wyd

im super normal about this book

[euryalex]

Dead by Daylight Killers and the Relliks in The Casting of Frank Stone

[anamdreams69]

iii wans't sure i was going to post this...

[spacedace]

Reluctant War AU Part 2

Part One

...I ended up writing more for that Reluctant War AU...Like. Wrote this before work and started on part 3 with plans for part 4 more.

this was supposed to just be a brain worm what happened (also thank you @catastrophic-crow for the AU name <3 <3 <3 Also, also: welcome to the cult of Ancient of the Speedforce Elle! Membership includes nonsense, shenanigans and chaos haha)

-

Gotham had always been a place for ghosts.

Every corner haunted by death and tragedy.

Every street stained red at least once in its many years.

Every dark shadow holding the faint shadows and shades of the dead.

Gotham was, before all else, a grave yard.

Jason had known that his entire life. Every kid born and raised in the Alley did. Death came fast to Gotham’s streets. Especially for those the rest of the city turned its back on. He did his best to lighten the reaper’s load when it came to the people that called Crime Alley home. Well, mostly. He’d certainly added names to old Death’s list before, when the occasion called.

When the armies of the dead descended upon Gotham, the only surprise Jason could feel was that those white wearing pieces of shit had dared to try and hunker down in his city.

It was a sentiment shared by most of Gotham’s fine citizens. By the city itself - herself? Something to ask later, if there was a later - even if the impossible, living shadow that rose up out of Gotham’s many dark corners was anything to go by. He knew, almost instinctively, that the entity - skin of cracked pavement, mouth a bridge suspended too wide across the face, eyes of CCTV camera lenses and body built brick by grimy, bloody brick of the sharp skyline - was Gotham. Not a ghost but something bigger, greater. Something awfully, terribly alive in all its horrible, noble glory. His city, manifest in the shape almost human beneath the green glow of the torn apart sky above.

Phantom’s armies arrived without warning as they had everywhere else, and their enemies poured out in unforgivably unmarred white suits to meet them. Horrible and garish against the Gotham streets. How they’d ever managed to slink by unnoticed while being so blatantly, clearly not of Gotham Jason wasn’t sure he’d ever know.

If either side thought this would be like the battles they fought before, they were mistaken.

Gotham was a place for Ghosts.

A place the dead piled up, lingered well beyond their deaths. A place where the rules were different from everywhere else in the world. Where crime was rampant and chaos reigned but at the end of the day people said their thanks that they were born to this hellhole and not so cursed to call anywhere else in the world home.

The dead came to fight

And Gotham, a thing so alive it was sickening to look upon, rose up to fight right along side them all.

The agents were ready and prepared for the incursion of the dead. It’d been two weeks since the first volley of attacks. Two weeks spent shoring up defenses and ramping up weapons and strategizing ways to kill what was already dead. They were, as best as they were able to be considering how endless the armies that came for them, prepared.

They weren’t prepared for Gotham.

Weren’t prepared for the city itself to rise up and take spectral, eldritch shape. Jagged building spire and shattered glass teeth bared in a snarl that spanned miles. Screaming rage in a voice made of gunfire and the concussive boom of explosions and the shrieks of a furious crowd.

Weren’t prepared for its people to ignore the gentle ushering of the dead trying to push them away to safety and instead press forward to fight shoulder to shoulder with the ghostly armies.

Weren’t prepared to have brick and bottles and trash and debris rain down upon them from the jeering living. Weren’t prepared for dirty faced children with hard eyes to light up rags stuffed into chipped beer bottles filled with gas and kerosene and throw them with more speed an accuracy than any professional baseball player. Weren’t ready for Gotham’s motley crew of terrifying Rogues to band together with the citizens they so often accosted and worried and bring down wave after wave of chaos and Goons.

Weren’t prepared for Red Hood to swap out his rubber bullets for the real deal and start mowing the fuckers in white down, his own crew at his back, the rest of the Outlaws on their way.

The Justice League was trying to find a peaceful resolution. Trying to play go between to the US Government and the infinite dead. Too wound up in US politics to side with the dead outright, too disgusted by what the American government had done to ever want to stand with them. All it had gotten them was spun wheels and confusion and the slow creeping realization that the time to try and play negotiators had well passed.

Red Hood wasn’t a member of the Justice League.

He had no obligation to try and find a way to talk things out.

What he had was a grave he’d dug his way out of, enough ammunition to arm a sizable country, and a burning need to make things right.

Gotham had always been a place for ghosts, and Jason had long accepted that he was one of them.

Haunting the streets he’d survived as a child, the city he protected as Robin, the family he’d loved and lost a thousand and one times before and after his death.

The sky cracked open above his home, and it was not an invading army that came rushing out but a native one. Friends, neighbors, strangers on the street you caught from the corner of your eye. The people of Gotham knew their own and fought for them. Only Gotham was allowed to fucked with Gotham and they’d been screwed over enough by the government themselves to know what side they were on.

He lifted his guns and fired, teeth bared in vicious satisfaction beneath his helmet as white was splattered bright red.

A hissing electric whine of a weapon, a flash of green from the edge of his vision.

“Down!”

He was thrown bodily to the cracked and ruined street beneath him, the body shielding him warm and living as one of the agent’s weapon fired a blast of energy right where he’d been a second before. He’d seen that same weapon reduce one of the raging dead to dripping green and screams of agony the dead should not be capable of making.

Before he could shove himself up and respond in kind, the body above him was in motion and the air above him cracking with the snapping-popping-roar of a gun of a much higher power than even what he had. The fucker in white that had shot at him dissolved into a mist of red viscera, body seizing and shuttering in the briefest moment it had before it was obliterated completely.

“Watch yourself.” He looked up - and up - and wondered at the lovely, fierce face he found staring down at him. “Even without shooting at them you’re Liminal enough to trip their sensors.”

She was tall enough to be an amazon, six inches in height on him at least. Body strong beneath the pitch black armor she work - as deep and dark as the depths of space, etched with starlight, a familiar crest upon her chest in the dizzying burst of a supernova - she held herself with confidence. Strands of hair the color of a warning sunrise escaped out from beneath the helm she wore, bright against her pale skin, warming the glass-sharp teal eyes that had pinned him in place.

The hand not holding the gun she’d just used to delete the asshole that had just tried to shoot him - a strange, impossible thing that made him taste lightning at the back of his throat to look at it - stretched out to help him up.

He accepted it.

Something pulsed to life in his chest. A piece forgotten where it’d been left behind, half buried in grave dirt and broken pieces of a casket he’d clawed his way out of. It burned like a hot coal in his chest, froze him with the same aching cold of a blizzard, crackled his nerves to life with lightning even as his brain popped and fried with the same sizzling energy.

On his feet, hair on end and body and Core pulsing with the need to fight, to rend and tear and scream for all done to him, his people, his home, he met the eyes of the woman before him. Her cool gaze softened, just a moment, just a second as she seemed to realize what had happened. Her hand, lighter than the armor she wore should allow it to be, tightened on his just a moment, mouth tilting from determined frown to soft understanding.

Gotham had always been a place for ghosts.

Jason had long accepted that he was one of them.

---

Part Three