#subtle asian mental health

[splintersfeelings]

Excerpt Repost from Subtle Asian Mental Health

My family is very warm and accepting, while remaining culturally Cantonese (and Canadian, and American) in a lot of ways. But my parents are also open-minded people, and even though they make mistakes, I think they are generally willing to listen to me even when I disagree with them, which I think has partially to do with their upbringing and spending a large part of their early years growing up without their parents' direct oversight. I think something that is easy to forget is that immigration is an inherently traumatic experience. It's especially easy to buy into the model minority myth, and the implicit assumption that when abuse happens in Asian families, it is because of "culture." But I don't think that's it at all. Asian folks leave their home countries for many reasons - political change, war, economic downturn. Each situation is different. But for the most part, the common backdrop in many of our collective pan-Asian experiences is the intergenerational trauma of western imperialism, and it's hard to understate the deep psychological, economic, political, and social harm caused by generations of genocide, war, famine, and theft. Obviously, experiencing trauma isn't an excuse to treat your family like shit. But I think it is also more complicated than "Asian families are inherently less loving than white families," and I think a lot of that results from internalized racism and the trauma of constantly viewing ourselves from a white lens. What is important is that white culture and Asian cultures do EXPRESS things differently. Neither is more predisposed to healthy or unhealthy family dynamics. But they may look DIFFERENT in how those versions appear. From my own experience with white friends and their families, I think white families that "appear" friendly and warm from the outside may have a lot of shit going on under the surface that an outsider might not see (religious trauma, domestic violence, infidelity, homophobia). White families also have a COMPLETELY different sense of money than a lot of Asian families, and while sometimes that can be a positive (independence), I also have seen it cut the other way (coldness and cutting children off). If you always view Asian families from a white individualist perspective, they will seem "bad," but a lot of it is just because of the lens of white individualism. There are a lot of toxic Asian families too, but we should think about what SPECIFICALLY is wrong about each one on a case-by-case basis, instead of being lazy and making sweeping racialized generalizations about ourselves that we have a "toxic culture" that is frankly untrue (and also compresses the wild diversity and variety among Asian cultures across East, Southeast, South, and Central Asia that are all very different from each other). White culture has plenty of patriarchy, homophobia, ageism, disrespect, domination, and abuse in it. Even if the "flavor" of abuse is different than many Asian cultures, it's still widely pervasive in white families. I think what a lot of overseas 2nd+ gen Asians don't realize is that they are conflating "white families" with a Hollywood concept of what a happy white family looks like, and I don't think that this picture of a domestic white family actually has much basis in reality. No family or culture is perfect, and the nature of this group and this page predisposes us towards only hearing from the "bad" side. But I hope that we in this community can also celebrate the ways that Asian parents DO show love, and the ways that WE show love to ourselves and to the people we care about that are just as meaningful and valid.

[ishomieokay]

Masks We Wear (Chapter 1)

Teen and Up. 2.1k, canon-typical violence, ptsd, mental health issues, mentions of murder, morally grey!john, non-sexy-choking, anger issues, hints of mallory/john if you squint. part 1/44. AO3 link. part 2, part 3.

Right before turning eighteen, John Vogelbaum escapes the clutches of Vought. Always under the radar, he manages to live as a regular Joe for the next couple of years. Until one day, trouble comes knocking at his door in the shape of Grace Mallory. What does the CIA want to do with him, anyway?

Or, the one where Homelander is never born. A traumatized, socially-awkward John wanders through life trying to work out what to do with himself, and somehow becomes a member of The Boys.

Taglist: @discowizard88 Let me know if you want to be tagged!

Before there was a knock on his door, John already knew that he would have an unwanted visitor that night. He could sense it in the air. A peach-laced floral scent with woody notes. Middle-aged, definitely a female, and with a good-paying job. Most ladies around that part of town couldn’t afford such a luxurious brand of perfume. Unsure of what to expect, John opened the door slowly. He came face to face with a petite, gray-haired woman, quite unremarkable in appearance. This just made him all the more suspicious.

“Good evening,” the stranger said as if she hadn’t just shown up at his home in the middle of the woods, late at night and uninvited. “It’s Johnny, isn’t it?”

“John,” he corrected, voice sharp.

“Just John, then.” The stranger’s lips twitched subtly. “I’m Colonel Grace Mallory. I thought maybe it was time we had a talk.”

It would be quite easy, John mused, to laser this frail-looking woman into a pile of ashes and sweep her off his porch. Then again, she may not be alone. He had learned to be careful when it came to leaving witnesses behind. The last time he let his emotions get the better of him, John got thrown into a quite bothersome murder investigation and ended up taking on a new identity. Again.

At least his handlers had bestowed him with a generic enough name. One that allowed him to go unnoticed almost everywhere he went. These days he was always John, though never Vogelbaum. Not anymore.

“Colonel, you said? May I see an ID?”

“Naturally.”

Grace Mallory pulled out a laminated card that included her name and rank, as well as a picture of her. In the upper left corner was written CIA, and that gave him pause. It seemed this time it was not the local police he needed to worry about.

“Wowza, who would have thought? A tiny old thin’ like ya,” John said, letting through that subtle southern accent he’d developed for this particular persona. “So sorry, ma’am. One can never be too careful ‘round these parts, ya know? How may I help you?”

“I rather think it’s us who can help you, John,” Mallory replied, and he could tell by the twinkle in her eye that she was not fooled by his everyday-joe act. “We’ve been watching you for some time.”

“Oh,” John said, eyebrows shooting up to the top of his forehead, “that’s… not a creepy thing to say. At all.”

He silently reviewed some incidents from the past few weeks. A big, hairy guy tagging along behind him whenever he went on his morning jog. An Asian girl staring at him a bit too intently while he was fishing around for the best Avocado at the supermarket. What appeared to be a French tourist stopping to ask him for directions, as if it was just every day that a European decided to go on holiday to Des Moines, of all places.

For some time now John had been aware that he was being followed, but by whom and for what purposes was beyond him. He’d had his suspicions and was relieved to find he’d been wrong. “So, those weird folks who keep taggin’ along whenever I go downtown are all you, guys?” He asked, going for nonchalance. “Well, ain’t that something. Thought I was getting paranoid for a sec there.”

Mallory looked unapologetic. “Ah, you could tell. How embarrassing. Perhaps my agents need a bit more training.”

“Perhaps,” John replied, smiling thinly.

“You’re a very resourceful man, I have to say,” Mallory continued. “You’ve got a full set of records as John Gillman. An ID, a passport, a birth certificate, even a driver’s license. After doing a little digging, it’s quite easy to find that less than a year ago you didn’t exist, though. John Baldwin, John Harrison, and oh, John Freeman, isn’t that creative? - also sprung out of thin air.”

John’s hands flexed at his sides.

“Oh, heck, where are my manners?” he said, taking a step back to clear the doorway. "Would you like to come in? I was just about to brew some coffee!"

“Of course,” Mallory replied. Right when she was about to cross the threshold, she stopped. “Oh, I should say. The information I manage is also in the hands of all my associates. Killing me won’t help you keep your secrets under wraps. Quite the contrary, actually.”

John stared into the woman’s sharp hazel eyes. Getting rid of her would be quite easy. If he put a hand around her neck and squeezed just so, he could break her like a stick. It wouldn’t even make a mess. 

“Now, that’s just rude, ma’am,” he said, offering his most disarming smile. “I'd never raise my hand to a woman.  Especially one of your advanced age.”

Mallory’s eye twitched, but otherwise, she failed to react. She knew he was just trying to get a rise out of her. John closed the door and she followed him inside. He watched her through the corner of his eye as he poured coffee for them both. She took it black and with no sugar, which he found oddly fitting. John sipped at his cup and waited. The woman was watching him with a serenity that he found slightly unnerving.

“I’m here representing an independent group working under CIA supervision,” she said finally. “We call ourselves The Boys.”

“The Boys,” John repeated, blinking. “Uh, who came up with that?”

“I did,” Mallory shot back, unruffled. “We know who you are, John, and we are very interested in your talents.”

“My… talents?” John said, smile frozen in place. His tongue felt like it was made out of lead.

“You’re a supe, aren’t you?” There was an air of impatience around Mallory, now. As if she were getting tired of walking around the bush. “Don’t try to deny it, we’ve got a whole file on you. We know about Vought and the lab. About Compound V. We know about Jonah Vogelbaum and the others.”

There was a familiar prickling sensation at the corners of his eyes. John closed them, covering them with his hand. He took a couple of deep breaths, hoping it would go away. The air tasted like ashes and metal. It was a challenge to get the lasers under control but he did. He always did. He had a lifetime of practice.

“Fuck off.” John’s voice came out guttural and strange to even his own ears. He stared at Mallory through the cage his hand had formed. There was a curious look in her eyes. “You think you know shit ‘cause you read some file? You’ve no idea what happened in that lab. Not a goddam clue! ”

“You’re right,” Mallory conceded. “I don’t.”

John adverted his gaze, feeling his mouth twitching. “The fuck does the CIA want to do with me? If it’s a supe you’re looking for, go to Vought. They’ve got a whole fuckin' parade of 'em.”

“Would if we could.” Mallory leaned back, crossing her arms. “The government isn’t all too happy with Vought these days. They’ve gotten sloppy. There’s blood on their hands and it’s gotten to the point the bosses can no longer ignore it. The purpose of our group is to take the company down.”

“Take Vought down,” John repeated, blankly. He stared at Mallory for a long moment, then suddenly burst out laughing. “You want to take Vought down?  You?  Right, course you can. I mean, it’s just the most powerful, dangerous, and corrupt organization in the whole wide world. Easy peasy.”

“How skeptical,” Mallory said, seeming unconcerned by the mockery. “I assure you it can be done, although I can see why you wouldn’t think so. It's normal for you to be afraid of them, after what they did to you.”

It all happened in the blink of an eye. One second, John was sitting at the table, laughing at her and sipping at his cup of coffee, and the next one he had Mallory hanging by the throat, feet dangling a few good inches off the ground. She took him by the wrist, instinctively trying to pry his hand off.

“You’re real fuckin’ ballsy for a woman, you know?” John said, staring at her icily. “That file you have on me - does it say what I can do? It must. My handlers were so very diligent about documenting my progress.”

“Yes, it does,” Mallory said, and his grip tightened.

“And still you came here alone, no backup, and with that goddam holier-than-thou attitude. I can’t decide whether you're being mighty brave or just plain ol' stupid, Colonel Mallory.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Mallory choked out, “it’s a very fine line.”

Something about her answer must have pleased John, because he smiled thinly and then let go of her. Mallory stumbled awkwardly to the ground. She struggled to catch her breath, hand clutching at her throat. “Whatever makes you think I'd be interested in your itty-bitty venture?” John asked, hovering over her. Mallory raised her eyes to look up at him, defiant even then.

“Revenge,” she said, voice low and rough. “We figured you may want to take revenge. On Vought. On Vogelbaum, and Stillwell, and fucking Stan Edgar. On all those people who tortured you and experimented on you before you’d even learned how to walk. Even if you were to tell your story, you and I both know they wouldn't face any repercussions. They get to live their lives freely, as rich and powerful as they’ve ever been. Doesn’t that make you angry?”

John considered her from above, frowning.

“… it does,” he conceded. “Perhaps I just wanna forget about it, though. Perhaps I’m at a point where I no longer give a hoot ‘bout gettin’ even. Did it ever cross your mind, or anyone’s in that sweet little clique of yours, that I might just wanna be left alone?”

“I think…” Mallory said, fixing John with a hard stare. There were already red stripes forming along the skin of her throat. “… that you’ve just proven you are a man with a lot of anger inside. There’s a dark, ugly thing festering inside you, isn’t there? I don’t blame you. I would be angry too, if I were in your shoes. I’m offering you a chance to unleash that anger on the ones who deserve it.”

There was a strange, watery sensation in John’s chest – a sense of exposure he wasn’t at all used to. When he’d decided to build his new life at a cabin deep in the woods, far from people, and noise, and the hustle and bustle of the city, it was to keep this sort of thing from happening. To have people peering inside and getting a glimpse of the real him.

“You sure make a whole lotta assumptions, old hag,” John said, throat dry.

“Maybe. You haven’t killed me yet, though,” Mallory said, eerily calm. "And I know that’s not for lack of ability. I think I managed to catch your attention.”

“And if you had? What then?” John asked, his every word slow and precise. He noticed how Mallory’s expression relaxed ever so slightly.

“I’d ask you to come with me to talk a few things over.”

Ah, I see what you are playing at, John thought bitterly. He felt his lips pulling backward and struggled very hard to suppress his grimace. You really think I’d let you box me up that easily?

“No, thanks. Ah’m not interested,” John said, smiling brightly at his visitor. Mallory’s disappointed look, however brief, was slightly satisfying. He turned around and started picking up the dirty dishware from the table. “Well, it’s gotten real late. You just go and mosey outta here, would ya?”

“Well,” Mallory said, standing up. “It was worth a try.”

She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small card. “You can reach me through this number if you change your mind.”

Then she turned around, heading towards the door. John stared at her retreating figure. Just before walking out, Mallory paused. “I’m sorry if I brought back unpleasant memories,” she said without turning to look at him, “have a good night.” She stepped out onto the porch and closed the door behind her. 

John waited, perfectly still, but she did not reappear. After a few moments, he bent down and picked up the card she left behind. Agent Grace Mallory, it read - Colonel, CIA, Special Operations, and a number. He considered throwing it away but decided against it just as he was about to drop it into the bin. Instead, John put it in a small wooden box he kept in the living room. Hours after her departure, the flowery scent of Grace Mallory’s perfume persisted in his home.

[readwithem]

We're all on the mental illness spectrum in some way or another, because life is not an easy feat, with different kinds of stresses throughout, from birth to retirement. Some of us have better or worse than others, and mental health is so complex that we can still relate to each other in some aspects, either minimal or substantial. Stephanie Foo wrote a great book about her own experience as a person recovering from C-PTSD (Complex post-traumatic stress syndrome), and even though I can't imagine how it feels to have a particular mental health issue, I still found myself relating to her in terms of how I deal with my own mental state.

C-PTSD is not a very well-known illness, and it's not the standard PTSD that we all know of.

PTSD is a punctual stress disorder that manifests at a point in time due to a certain trigger, recognized by your brain as a potential threat based on past trauma. Complex PTSD, however, is an ongoing state of sneaky hypervigilance that manifests as anxiety, depression, anger, and dread. This constant and persistent malfunctioning seeps into your personhood, work, and relationships. It usually results from chronic long-term abuse, particularly in childhood.

PTSD can be treated and alleviated with medication and therapy, particularly with CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy), unlike C-PTSD for which there is no consensus yet on what it takes to control it, besides the medication for the resulting symptoms above-mentioned.

Stephanie tells the story of how she managed to reconfigure the way she lives with C-PTSD, before her diagnosis, and after. She shows how small self-care habits and routines, relieved some of the pain, but not the underlying base of suffering. With trial and error, she exerted tremendous effort to look for the most effective solution.

It was therapy, that made a huge impact, but it took the right therapist for it to happen.

You can keep me engaged in anything if your writing is worth it. Stephanie is a journalist and a great writer. She's smart, witty, and pretty self-aware. She can bridge the gap between her and her reader (me) by explaining her state of mind and her pain in a clear, though not very detailed way. I could better imagine what she was going through, without getting overwhelmed.

She talks about how race, class, and politics contributed to her abuse, and how Asians are good at preserving the generational trauma. She also spent some pages talking about how lackluster the healthcare system is, how minorities' pain is usually dismissed, and how healthcare providers are so undertrained in managing mental health problems, especially when they're associated with physical ones.

Even if I don't think I have C-PTSD (I have some other issues, though), there are aspects of Stephanie's story I could relate to: Her broken relationship with her father, and her attempts to repair and maintain relationships, which only works with practice.

My favorite part of the book was her sessions with her therapist in the last few chapters. It baffles me how the most subtle behaviors, gestures, and mimics can show how strong and deep-rooted trauma can be. It takes a good, observant, and empathetic therapist to bring it to the surface.

[kairoscareau]

Unmasking Subtle Racism

Subtle racism, also known as covert/implicit racism, refers to discriminatory attitudes, behaviours or actions that are less obvious and not easily identifiable compared to traditional forms of racism. Because subtle racism can be indirect, unintentional expressions of prejudice or unsconsiously expressed, they are often more challenging to recognise. Subtle racism can manifest in various ways, such as comments, actions or behaviours that subtly marginalise or demean individuals based on their race or ethnicity. Whether people might not be fully aware of their biases or actions or may even deny their racism when called out, subtle racism helps perpetuate discrimination and inequalities. 

Some examples of racially-based subtle racism are: 

Verbal: "Are you his nanny?" assuming that a person of colour is not a white child's parent; 

Action: a teacher not calling on students of colour; a server automatically serving white people first over people of colour; 

Racial profiling: stop-and-frisk policy meant to reduce crime but mostly targets people of colour.

Subtle racism is hard to detect at first glance unlike overt racism which is blatant and easily recognisable. Although subtle racism operates in a more covert manner, its effects may cause harm whether it was unintentional or not. Let's shed light into subtle racism, its impact on relationships and well-being, the challenge of recognition and how we can avoid being a subtle racist. 

Kinds of Subtle Racism: 

Colorblindness or Microinvalidations - ignores the unique experiences of different racial groups. For instance, the "All Lives Matter" as a response to "Black Lives Matter" may mean well, but can be considered racist as "Black Lives Matter" do not mean only Black lives matter or that Black lives matter more. The BLM movement only asserts that Black lives matter too, to address historical and current events, and some institutions' tendency to not treat Black lives as mattering equally with White lives. 

Stereotyping - assumes that someone's abilities, preferences, or behaviour are based on their race. For instance, assuming that an Asian woman is a mail-order bride, or a Mexican woman is a cleaning lady. 

Tokenism - including a person of colour solely to demonstrate diversity. For instance, hiring a person of colour to comply with diversity even though the role is essentially insignificant. 

Microaggressions - are small, everyday acts that communicate derogatory messages towards racial minorities, including: 

backhanded compliments (e.g. "You're beautiful for a dark-skinned girl.") 

cultural appropriation - loving a part of a culture (like Hip Hop) but fail to speak out for or recognise its people's struggles, or dominant groups erasing origins of certain cultures and taking credit for something they did not create (e.g. Elvis regarded as a pioneer of rock and roll but failing to credit Sister Rosetta Tharpe as an earlier rock and roll artist who influenced Elvis and referred to as Godmother of rock and roll). 

questioning someone's nationality or abilities. Saying, "You must be good at math" to someone with Asian descent or "I don't even see you as [insert race]". 

Effects on Relationships and Wellbeing: 

Subtle racism can erode relationships and negatively impact mental health. Constant exposure to microaggressions can lead to feelings of invalidation, frustration and stress. Over time, these experiences can strain personal and professional connections, contribute to a sense of isolation and introduce an atmosphere of negativity and even hostility in personal relationships, the workplace and community groups.   

How Do We Preserve Wellbeing and Avoid Being Subtle Racists: 

Self-education - recognise and acknowledge your own biases and actively seek to educate yourself and others about different cultures and experiences. 

Active listening - strive to create an environment where people feel comfortable sharing their experiences, and listen without being defensive or dismissive. 

Empathy - simply try putting yourself in others' shoes and strive to understand the impact of your words and actions. 

Language matters - choose your words carefully, avoiding assumptions or stereotypes. 

Speak up - if you witness subtle racism, address it respectfully to help raise awareness. 

Subtle racism is a pervasive issue that demands our attention. By shedding light on its existence, acknowledging its impact, and taking proactive steps to prevent it, we can create a more inclusive and equitable society. 

Remember that change begins with each individual's commitment to unlearn biases and treat all individuals with respect, regardless of their background.

[reshmaa]

ONE PIECE ORNAMENT

One of the most fashionable ways to upgrade your aesthetics is through nose piercing. Whether you choose to go with a statement septum ring or a more subtle nostril stud, nose piercing can upgrade your overall look! It is always the only jewel worn on our face as nose is the most prominent feature of our face, and just adding a little sparkly stud or ring and gives a entire attitude and look. It is an ancient style of piercing, dating back to approximately four thousand years ago, and it has continued to grow in popularity over the last few years in mainstream society.

I often admired the lovely sparkle I saw in the side of the nose of every women it always adds on beauty and elegance. North Indian women usually have their piercings on the left , and South Indian women in their right. Which is associated with lessening of pain from childbirth and menstruation on left side , whereas in right is helps to better mental health and mind peace. 

The main types of jewelry worn on the nose are stud and hoops .My most popular form of stud is the screw shaped end - it is definitely the biggest seller. The tradition behind every community of people wearing nose ring during there puberty , in some during the age of 8 , in some during the period of marriage . It is said that every girl should pierce there nose before they are getting married and it is been followed as tradition in some communities.

This nose piercing have been a part of south Asian culture for thousands of years. Culturally, the piercings signified the social status of the individual and their right to access other ceremonies. Having a pierced nose has been a sacred ceremony in the Hindu religion. The tradition of wearing nose rings has been based on certain principles present in the Indian culture. 

Why not men!? Nose rings have become a fashion statement . From a traditional custom to a fashion statement it is a huge path of the nose ring . Nowadays men also wear nose rings , studs or a septum ring which gives them the best fashion icon and also attracts others .

This photograph was inspired from the ancient history community called as chola dynasty. There was a epic story written by kalki krishnamurthy. The story name is 'Ponniyin Selvan '. The women in the story have a strong character and attitude. These jewellery add on to there behaviour and character. Starting from nandini , kundavai and many more ladies have their own fashion statement in the story . This photograph was inspired from puguzhali a boat sailing girl who's character was strong and vivid compared to other girls. She was physically strong and her nose ring adds a little bit of attitude and courageous attitude.

[talkingforwellness]

Recognizing and Addressing Microaggressions

What is a microaggression? Microaggressions are considered subtle and non-direct forms of discrimination, that could be verbal or behavioral, towards an individual from a minority group (ethnic, racial, sexual orientation, religious, gender, etc.). Because this form of discrimination is quieter and more discreet, one could easily not recognize it or intend it to be discriminatory. Nevertheless, microaggressions can negatively impact one’s mental health and wellbeing.

How to recognize microaggressions?

This requires us to constantly check in with ourselves and our bodies, to notice when things start feeling off for us. Microaggressions can include:

comments or behavior that indicate otherness

indicate a negative connotation of others

make assumptions based on inaccurate and negative stereotypes

What do microaggressions look like?

Clutching your bag or moving away when a Black person or person of color approaches

Assuming that an Asian person, or a visibly non-white person, is not from the US, but from a different country

Assuming heteronormative relationships

Correcting someone or mansplaining

What if I experience a microaggression?

Some suggest taking a deep breath, processing the comment on your own, and not addressing the other person due to high levels of emotional labor

Others may suggest confronting the person, having a conversation with them, and explaining to them how their microaggression made you feel

Use I statements and expressing how the comment or action made you feel

Discuss your experience with microaggressions in therapy

What if I used a microaggression?

Try to listen when approached

Try to lower your defenses; internally acknowledge any discomfort you feel

Try to be more conscious of ways in which your comments or behaviors can be discriminatory, and avoid such behaviors in the future.

All of us are susceptible to developing biases, but by practicing mindfulness we can help to avoid microaggressions.

To schedule an appointment, contact us.

[brmchemical]

Exploring the Therapeutic Properties of Sandalwood Oil

Introduction to Sandalwood Oil

Sandalwood Oil has long been revered for its exquisite fragrance and profound therapeutic benefits. Extracted from the wood and roots of the sandalwood tree, this essential oil is a staple in aromatherapy, skincare, and holistic healing practices. In this blog, we will explore the myriad benefits, uses, and spiritual significance of Sandalwood Oil, providing insights into how you can integrate it into your wellness routine.

Historical Significance and Production

Sandalwood has been a part of religious and spiritual rituals for thousands of years, particularly in Indian and East Asian cultures. The oil is produced primarily through steam distillation, a process that captures the pure essence of sandalwood's aromatic compounds. BRM Chemicals ensures a sustainable sourcing model, contributing to the preservation of sandalwood forests while providing the highest quality Sandalwood Fragrance Oil.

Therapeutic Benefits of Sandalwood Oil

Sandalwood Oil is celebrated for its numerous health benefits. It's known for its calming properties, making it a popular choice in aromatherapy for reducing stress and anxiety. Additionally, it has antiseptic, anti-inflammatory, and antispasmodic properties, making it beneficial for:

Enhancing mental clarity

Soothing skin conditions

Improving sleep quality

Supporting respiratory health

Uses in Aromatherapy and Perfumery

As a cornerstone of aromatherapy, Sandalwood Essential Oil  helps in harmonizing the body's bio-rhythms. Its rich, woody scent makes it a favorite in perfumery, where it is used as a base note in many iconic fragrances. This oil blends well with other essential oils like lavender, rose, and bergamot, creating soothing and uplifting aromatherapy experiences.

Skincare Benefits of Sandalwood Oil

In skincare, Sandalwood Oil is a miracle worker. It aids in the reduction of acne, scars, and wrinkles due to its potent anti-inflammatory qualities. When incorporated into facial serums or creams, it not only moisturizes the skin but also enhances its natural glow. BRM Chemicals offers a pure form of Sandalwood Fragrance Oil that can be used in DIY skincare recipes or as a rich addition to your daily skincare regime.

READ MORE BLOG :- https://brmchemicals.com/blogs/news/sandalwood-oil?

Spiritual and Emotional Wellness

The soothing aroma of Sandalwood Oil is not just a treat for the senses but also a boost for spiritual and emotional wellness. It is often used in meditation and yoga practices to enhance focus and establish a grounding, peaceful environment. Its subtle energy is said to foster openness, compassion, and the healing of emotional wounds.

Incorporating Sandalwood Oil into Daily Life

There are numerous ways to incorporate Sandalwood Oil into your daily life:

Use it in a diffuser to enrich your living space with its calming scent.

Add it to massage oils for a soothing and therapeutic experience.

Employ it in personal care routines by adding it to lotions or bath salts.

Sustainable Practices and Sourcing

At BRM Chemicals, sustainability is at the core of our operations. We ensure that our Sandalwood Oil is sourced responsibly, supporting the environment and the communities involved in its production. By choosing our products, you contribute to these efforts, enjoying the benefits of Sandalwood Oil while supporting ethical practices.

Conclusion and Call to Action

Experience the mystical allure of Sandalwood Oil with BRM Chemicals. Whether you're looking to enhance your wellness routine, elevate your skincare regimen, or simply enjoy the aromatic benefits of this exquisite oil, our products are designed to deliver the highest quality and purity.

Explore Our Sandalwood Oil Collection Now!

[mass-convergence]

So about a week or so ago I get stopped by a cop for somewhat legit reasons (my tags were technically “expired” though it was due to some shit with the DMV losing my new stickers in the mail so my registration was valid, i had also just neglected to get it fixed for a week or so and let it hang like a sword of Damocles).

Anyway the cop asks me some weird questions like “where were you born” and “what’s the highest level of education you’ve attained”. And also was saying “you look so familiar have I talked to you before? Have I ever responded to a call at your address? I swear the address looks familiar too”

Which a) were strange af questions and b) I’ve never interacted with this PD ever in my entire life. But I was tired af after getting off work and I also knew I did minorly fuck up for not getting my sticker issue sorted out sooner. Also I mean ……. Cop. So I just answered his questions and texted my mom afterward about getting pulled over - no citation just a warning to get my tags fixed.

The topic of me getting pulled over comes back up again today while my mom and I are out running errands.

I first off need to mention that I’m not white - my mom is white and my dad is south Chinese, he’s got darker skin and I’ve inherited his skin tone. Also I’ve grown up in (mostly) white upper class liberal suburbia (there is a significant Asian pop in my community) - so cops have just never interacted with me before except for one time when there was an incident involving a mental health crisis from one of my family members which got resolved surprisingly peacefully. I bring *that* up because I basically grew up in a privileged bubble until I moved away from home to go to college. That was when I first really encountered the subtle racism and prejudice. Also some of it wasn’t so subtle like when I got grilled by an old guy at Wal-Mart asking if I spoke Chinese. And there was a non-zero amount of times someone asked if I was Native American or Mexican.

ThIs is to say when my mom and I were discussing the traffic stop and the weird ass questions the cop was asking which he said they totalllllyyy ask everyone they pull over these questions. She’s like “I’ve been pulled over multiple times and I’ve never had any of those questions asked to me”.

And it kind of dawned on me for like real that yeah, I probably got racially profiled by a cop who thought I was either Native American (there is a significant Native American population in the town, especially where I was pulled over) or an immigrant. Like he was trying to catch me doing something wrong other than having a serious lapse in having my shit together and accidentally forgetting I needed the right stickers for my plates. Also now I guess I’m technically in their system and they have my phone number so that’s kind of … yeah. Part of me still thinks I’m being way too sensitive but given that my mom was actually kind of freaking out about how I described that stop I’m not entirely sure my weird feelings about it are completely unfounded.

And also … I mean … cop.

[mimasroomaapi]

Reality vs. Fiction - Dakota Lichauco

Mima's real life is gradually taken over by her stage persona. Her life and acting scenes blur together as the movie goes on, and Mima starts to lose her sense of who she is and what her life's meaning is. Perfect Blue is a film about perception; how we see ourselves and how others see us, and the conflict that arises when our current selves and our ideal selves are at odds.

There is a theme of the duality of perception throughout the film, and reality vs fiction. As the colors slowly intensify and become brighter and more saturated throughout the course of the movie, so does Mima’s cascade of paranoia. The cinematography within Perfect Blue shows the blurred line between reality and fiction. The audience, as well as the main characters cannot tell which is which. This is shown through the colors changing, as it is a subtle, yet important piece of the film.

Mima, makes her acting debut as a rape victim. Mima’s sweet and bubbly demeanor in her prior career as a pop idol is completely at odds with this new persona she has to take on. When she agrees to the role of a rape victim, she faces an identity crisis, internally and externally. Mima faces backlash from her fans. They are portrayed as insatiable consumers and so involved in her life that they think they know her and understand her. One of the main themes within this part of the story is the idea of celebrity culture and mental health. These kinds of ideas remain incredibly relevant today. 

Many actresses, Asian or not, are given roles that can cause a loss of identity for them. In regards to Asian actresses, some roles provide almost an “escape.” Perfect Blue can be seen as a horror genre, or psychological thriller. The level of fantasy that surrounds the film serves as an outlet for Asian women to break through societal norms. Acting as a submissive “lotus flower”, Asian women are given the opportunity to act out within these types of films. Yet, how can one determine if this is necessarily a good thing for Asian women, or a detrimental option for one's mental health?

Perfect blue is a commentary on self-perception, showing how struggling with one's identity and giving in to social pressure to conform may have negative effects on one's life.

[splintersfeelings]

Repost of a comment on SAMH:

Hi! I am 2nd gen Chinese American, I am non-binary (agender) but a lot of my closest friends are men, and I was socialized male, so I relate to a lot of what you shared! I am also neurodivergent (ADHD) so I feel like I had to "manually" learn a lot of social skills as an adult that other people acquired automatically when they were younger, which shapes my perpsective.

Something that I think was really powerful to me was to start thinking of communicating and expressing my feelings as a skill. It's something you get better at by practicing it! And inevitably during that process you'll make mistakes and screw things up, but the great thing about communicating your feelings is that you also have opportunities to practice rephrasing and clarifying your miscommunication, and to apologize and repair when things don't work out the way you intended.

I think often times men have a lot of social pressure put on them to not express their feelings, and it creates a feedback loop of emotional dysregulation Men often don't get chances to express or communicate their feelings, which makes it harder for them to name and identify their feelings, which makes it even harder to communicate and be emotionally vulnerable. It can be really hard to break out of that loop!

I'm still trying to figure out dating and relationships myself, but something that I think really helped me grow as a person was being emotionally vulnerable with trusted friends (men, women, and others). By practicing emotionally vulnerability and emotional communication with friends that you trust, it helps you build up that sense of self-confidence and self-knowledge.

Something I had to realize is that emotional vulnerability has lot of give-and-take, or exchange. Not in a perverse, "greedy" way, but in what I think of as an emotional bid. I always considered myself a really open person who was seeking closer emotional connections with people, but I noticed that most people wouldn't necessarily want to have that emotional connection with me. I had to learn that to slowly build and develop that trust, I ALSO had to share about MY emotions with others and not just be a "good listener."

I always viewed expressing my own emotions to others, especially negative emotions, as being deeply burdensome to other people, even though I don't feel that way at all when other people express their emotions to me (within reason)! What I am slowly realizing is that by expressing some of my own emotional vulnerabilities to others who I trust and cared about, it made them feel safe expressing those same emotions to me, so that we could slowly grow closer over time. Sometimes, I mess up, and "overshare" or try to become closer with someone before they are ready. But that's also something that you just have to practice over time, and each individual person's style of communicating is its own puzzle to figure out. I think that is also part of the joy of learning more about my friends and the people I care about!

[puttingherinhistory]

“Covid has unleashed the most severe setback to women’s liberation in my lifetime. While watching this happen, I have started to think we are witnessing an outbreak of disaster patriarchy.

Naomi Klein was the first to identify “disaster capitalism”, when capitalists use a disaster to impose measures they couldn’t possibly get away with in normal times, generating more profit for themselves. Disaster patriarchy is a parallel and complementary process, where men exploit a crisis to reassert control and dominance, and rapidly erase hard-earned women’s rights. (The term “racialized disaster patriarchy” was used by Rachel E Luft in writing about an intersectional model for understanding disaster 10 years after Hurricane Katrina.) All over the world, patriarchy has taken full advantage of the virus to reclaim power – on the one hand, escalating the danger and violence to women, and on the other, stepping in as their supposed controller and protector.

I have spent months interviewing activists and grassroots leaders around the world, from Kenya to France to India, to find out how this process is affecting them, and how they are fighting back. In very different contexts, five key factors come up again and again. In disaster patriarchy, women lose their safety, their economic power, their autonomy, their education, and they are pushed on to the frontlines, unprotected, to be sacrificed. 

Part of me hesitates to use the word “patriarchy”, because some people feel confused by it, and others feel it’s archaic. I have tried to imagine a newer, more contemporary phrase for it, but I have watched how we keep changing language, updating and modernising our descriptions in an attempt to meet the horror of the moment. I think, for example, of all the names we have given to the act of women being beaten by their partner. First, it was battery, then domestic violence, then intimate partner violence, and most recently intimate terrorism. We are forever doing the painstaking work of refining and illuminating, rather than insisting the patriarchs work harder to deepen their understanding of a system that is eviscerating the planet. So, I’m sticking with the word. 

In this devastating time of Covid we have seen an explosion of violence towards women, whether they are cisgender or gender-diverse. Intimate terrorism in lockdown has turned the home into a kind of torture chamber for millions of women. We have seen the spread of revenge porn as lockdown has pushed the world online; such digital sexual abuse is now central to domestic violence as intimate partners threaten to share sexually explicit images without victims’ consent. 

The conditions of lockdown – confinement, economic insecurity, fear of illness, excess of alcohol – were a perfect storm for abuse. It is hard to determine what is more disturbing: the fact that in 2021 thousands of men still feel willing and entitled to control, torture and beat their wives, girlfriends and children, or that no government appears to have thought about this in their planning for lockdown. 

In Peru, hundreds of women and girls have gone missing since lockdown was imposed, and are feared dead. According to official figures reported by Al Jazeera, 606 girls and 309 women went missing between 16 March and 30 June last year. Worldwide, the closure of schools has increased the likelihood of various forms of violence. The US Rape Abuse and Incest National Network says its helpline for survivors of sexual assault has never been in such demand in its 26-year history, as children are locked in with abusers with no ability to alert their teachers or friends. In Italy, calls to the national anti-violence toll-free number increased by 73% between 1 March and 16 April 2020, according to the activist Luisa Rizzitelli. In Mexico, emergency call handlers received the highest number of calls in the country’s history, and the number of women who sought domestic violence shelters quadrupled. 

To add outrage to outrage, many governments reduced funding for these shelters at the exact moment they were most needed. This seems to be true throughout Europe. In the UK, providers told Human Rights Watch that the Covid-19 crisis has exacerbated a lack of access to services for migrant and Black, Asian and minority ethnic women. The organisations working with these communities say that persistent inequality leads to additional difficulties in accessing services such as education, healthcare and disaster relief remotely. 

In the US, more than 5 million women’s jobs were lost between the start of the pandemic and November 2020. Because much of women’s work requires physical contact with the public – restaurants, stores, childcare, healthcare settings – theirs were some of the first to go. Those who were able to keep their jobs were often frontline workers whose positions have put them in great danger; some 77% of hospital workers and 74% percent of school staff are women. Even then, the lack of childcare options left many women unable to return to their jobs. Having children does not have this effect for men. The rate of unemployment for Black and Latina women was higher before the virus, and now it is even worse. 

The situation is more severe for women in other parts of the world. Shabnam Hashmi, a leading women’s activist from India, tells me that by April 2020 a staggering 39.5% of women there had lost their jobs. “Work from home is very taxing on women as their personal space has disappeared, and workload increased threefold,” Hashmi says. In Italy, existing inequalities have been amplified by the health emergency. Rizzitelli points out that women already face lower employment, poorer salaries and more precarious contracts, and are rarely employed in “safe” corporate roles; they have been the first to suffer the effects of the crisis. “Pre-existing economic, social, racial and gender inequalities have been accentuated, and all of this risks having longer-term consequences than the virus itself,” Rizzitelli says. 

When women are put under greater financial pressure, their rights rapidly erode. With the economic crisis created by Covid, sex- and labour-trafficking are again on the rise. Young women who struggle to pay their rent are being preyed on by landlords, in a process known as “sextortion”. 

I don’t think we can overstate the level of exhaustion, anxiety and fear that women are suffering from taking care of families, with no break or time for themselves. It’s a subtle form of madness. As women take care of the sick, the needy and the dying, who takes care of them? Colani Hlatjwako, an activist leader from the Kingdom of Eswatini, sums it up: “Social norms that put a heavy caregiving burden on women and girls remain likely to make their physical and mental health suffer.” These structures also impede access to education, damage livelihoods, and strip away sources of support.

Unesco estimates that upward of 11 million girls may not return to school once the Covid pandemic subsides. The Malala Fund estimates an even bigger number: 20 million. Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka, from UN Women, says her organisation has been fighting for girls’ education since the Beijing UN women’s summit in 1995. “Girls make up the majority of the schoolchildren who are not going back,” she says. “We had been making progress – not perfect, but we were keeping them at school for longer. And now, to have these girls just dropping out in one year, is quite devastating.” 

Of all these setbacks, this will be the most significant. When girls are educated, they know their rights, and what to demand. They have the possibility of getting jobs and taking care of their families. When they can’t access education, they become a financial strain to their families and are often forced into early marriages. 

This has particular implications for female genital mutilation (FGM). Often, fathers will accept not subjecting their daughters to this process because their daughters can become breadwinners through being educated. If there is no education, then the traditional practices resume, so that daughters can be sold for dowries. As Agnes Pareyio, chairwoman of the Kenyan Anti-Female Genital Mutilation Board, tells me: “Covid closed our schools and brought our girls back home. No one knew what was going on in the houses. We know that if you educate a girl, FGM will not happen. And now, sadly the reverse is true.” 

In the early months of the pandemic, I had a front-row seat to the situation of nurses in the US, most of whom are women. I worked with National Nurses United, the biggest and most radical nurses’ union, and interviewed many nurses working on the frontline. I watched as for months they worked gruelling 12-hour shifts filled with agonising choices and trauma, acting as midwives to death. On their short lunch breaks, they had to protest over their own lack of personal protective equipment, which put them in even greater danger. In the same way that no one thought what it would mean to lock women and children in houses with abusers, no one thought what it would be like to send nurses into an extremely contagious pandemic without proper PPE. In some US hospitals, nurses were wearing garbage bags instead of gowns, and reusing single-use masks many times. They were being forced to stay on the job even if they had fevers.

The treatment of nurses who were risking their lives to save ours was a shocking kind of violence and disrespect. But there are many other areas of work where women have been left unprotected, from the warehouse workers who are packing and shipping our goods, to women who work in poultry and meat plants who are crammed together in dangerous proximity and forced to stay on the job even when they are sick. One of the more stunning developments has been with “tipped” restaurant workers in the US, already allowed to be paid the shockingly low wage of $2.13 (£1.50) an hour, which has remained the same for the past 22 years. Not only has work declined, tips have also declined greatly for those women, and now a new degradation called “maskular harassment” has emerged, where male customers insist waitresses take off their masks so they can determine if and how much to tip them based on their looks. 

Women farm workers in the US have seen their protections diminished while no one was looking. Mily Treviño-Sauceda, executive director of Alianza Nacional de Campesinas, tells me how pressures have increased on campesinas, or female farm workers: “There have been more incidents of pesticides poisonings, sexual abuse and heat stress issues, and there is less monitoring from governmental agencies or law enforcement due to Covid-19.” 

Covid has revealed the fact that we live with two incompatible ideas when it comes to women. The first is that women are essential to every aspect of life and our survival as a species. The second is that women can easily be violated, sacrificed and erased. This is the duality that patriarchy has slashed into the fabric of existence, and that Covid has laid bare. If we are to continue as a species, this contradiction needs to be healed and made whole. 

To be clear, the problem is not the lockdowns, but what the lockdowns, and the pandemic that required them, have made clear. Covid has revealed that patriarchy is alive and well; that it will reassert itself in times of crisis because it has never been truly deconstructed, and like an untreated virus it will return with a vengeance when the conditions are ripe. 

The truth is that unless the culture changes, unless patriarchy is dismantled, we will forever be spinning our wheels. Coming out of Covid, we need to be bold, daring, outrageous and to imagine a more radical way of existing on the Earth. We need to continue to build and spread activist movements. We need progressive grassroots women and women of colour in positions of power. We need a global initiative on the scale of a Marshall Plan or larger, to deconstruct and exorcise patriarchy – which is the root of so many other forms of oppression, from imperialism to racism, from transphobia to the denigration of the Earth. 

There would first be a public acknowledgment, and education, about the nature of patriarchy and an understanding that it is driving us to our end. There would be ongoing education, public forums and processes studying how patriarchy leads to various forms of oppression. Art would help expunge trauma, grief, aggression, sorrow and anger in the culture and help heal and make people whole. We would understand that a culture that has diabolical amnesia and refuses to address its past can only repeat its misfortunes and abuses. Community and religious centres would help members deal with trauma. We would study the high arts of listening and empathy. Reparations and apologies would be done in public forums and in private meetings. Learning the art of apology would be as important as prayer.

The feminist author Gerda Lerner wrote in 1986: “The system of patriarchy in a historic construct has a beginning and it will have an end. Its time seems to have nearly run its course. It no longer serves the needs of men and women, and its intractable linkage to militarism, hierarchy and racism has threatened the very existence of life on Earth.”

As powerful as patriarchy is, it’s just a story. As the post-pandemic era unfolds, can we imagine another system, one that is not based on hierarchy, violence, domination, colonialisation and occupation? Do we see the connection between the devaluing, harming and oppression of all women and the destruction of the Earth itself? What if we lived as if we were kin? What if we treated each person as sacred and essential to the unfolding story of humanity? 

What if rather than exploiting, dominating and hurting women and girls during a crisis, we designed a world that valued them, educated them, paid them, listened to them, cared for them and centred them?“

[keenmarvellover]

POSTS FOR YOU - 3

Some links to posts with valuable content you want in one place.(BASICALLY EVERYTHING IS THERE)

Suggestions and Recommendations are appreciated and accepted.

Last Updated : 31/03/2021

NOTE: Some of these post are written in a crude and unruly fashion. But they contain valuable tips, guidance and information. If you can't/don't want to read such posts, then don't read.

Mental Health

If you need distractions

If you are bored or just need to distract yourself, here are a few cool things that may help you.

How to check for Hallucinations

Either it is a auditory or visual hallucination.

Coping 101

A masterpost of down to earth resources.

Dealing with Executive Dysfunction

A Masterpost

In case anyone is having a bad night

A few sites recommended by users.

Health

How to identify a stroke?

For both men and women: the obvious and subtle signs.

Health care PSA for Americans

Bills and Hospitals is USA.

Endometriosis

A small masterpost of articles/resources related to endometriosis

How to do a Push-up

Some eaiser variations of push ups to help you build the strength to do a traditional one!

Beauty Tips

A method to remove pimples and pimple scars from the face.

Postpartum Bleeds and Postpartum Pads

What are postpartum bleeds. Read and reblog.

Checking for testicular Cancer

What to-do.

Artists

Calculate your commision prices

A tool which helps artists to see what should they really recieve for their hardwork

How to draw Manual Wheelchairs properly

If you're drawing it, draw it properly

Sound Effects

Released by BBC and Yellowstone and more.

Top 12 alternatives to Photoshop for Digital painters and Illustrators

Free alternatives

Writers

How does being punched in the face feel like?

A great reference for writers.

Resources For Writing Sketchy Topics

Now you can get straight to writing.

Reasons For Your Characters To Hate Each Other

Didn't know there were this many.

Writing Websites

Check it out and reblog to help other writers.

Resources for Writers

Short list but very useful.

Writing a summary

What should be included and how should it be written.

Tag your fics and give a wordcount.

List of triggers given.

Alternatives for 25 overused words in writing

Short but useful list.

Attention New Tumblr Writers

Some tips and instructions that will help you post your stories on tumblr easier..

Readers

PSA for people who use AO3

This for BOTH writers and reader.

Legal sites to download Literature

Classics, textbooks and more

List of Fantasy Books

Let's imagine again!!!

Skins on AO3

How to use it? Instructions here

Essays

Here’s a (non-exhaustive) list of essays

A list of Online Libraries

Movies, Books, Audio Books and Music

Books

Of all types to read in 2021

Books with Gay Representation

A list of them

Books by Asian Authors

Some books written by asian authors that you should support because they’re really really good and overshadowed by their white counterparts.

Students

Chrome Extensions for Nurodivergent students

What should be included and how should it be written.

How to Practise Practically

Some basics on how to practice! FOR WRITERS AND ARTISTS too.

Video Essays on Random Stuff

By people of colour

Shorthand Writing

The shorthand which doctors and pharmacists use.

Vaguely academic things to do to keep yourself entertained

From Research binges to reading free books

Study Music Masterlist

Background sounds and music for studying.

Miscellaneous/Life Hacks

Tumblr Survival Guide

Everything I wish I knew when I joined Tumblr. Basically this is a collection of things that will make Tumblr easier to use :D

Abbreviation Cheat List

Abbreviations used on Tumblr and other sites

This Indie Designer Uses Her Online Shop To Showcase Looks on All Body Types.

Check it out and share.

How to get hired

Simple tips and rules to follow to increase your chances of getting hired.

How to fit a Day's clothes into a Compact Sock Ball

Try this for trips you only bring a carry-on to

Playlists to help pass the time

Listen to some music when you are bored

How to recognize Nazi and White Supremacist Symbols & Signs

Please learn and share.

What Fruits are in Season?

A Chart which shows the same.

Donating to a Food Bank

Wisdom from a Food Bank Employee

Where to find free Movies and Series Online

Lots of sites. Lots and Lots of sites. I am not Kidding. Now go and chill without netflix.

Save your Money

How to make detergent, Washing Soda and Wool Dryer Balls.

Save your Money (Part II)

The How-tos of Basic household chores. (They can be found online too)

How to darn holes and tears

A tumblr lesson

Safety

How do you protect yourself from being stalked online

By parents, exes and whoever you are trying to throw off.

Boeing 737 Max and its Dangers

Read on to know why it is a Dangerous aircraft and why it should be avoided.

The Cold Shock Response

What to do if you fall in ice/ice water in cold waterbodies.

How to keep warm during a power outage

Please reblog this and share for those stuck in cold or frezing places.(PART II)

Signs of a Abusive and/or Manipulative Partner

Every gender should read this. (Yes males too.) [ Part II)

How to stay warm during a Cold Storm

How to get out of hand binds of ANY kind

How to get out of a Coffin

What to do if your nudes are leaked

What to do if your nudes are leaked (Part II)

Signs your are in a Cult

How to check if it is a two way mirror

[jspark3000]

I hope you answering this doesn't cause some kind of backlash, but are there any particular sources for news that you find generally trustworthy? I'm sure all sources are at least a little biased, but I barely even know where to start.

Or even, do you have any "red flags" when reading news that make you think something is wrong/off/questionable?

Hey dear friend, this will sound like an easy generalized answer but as you implied, every single news source is biased. The bad news: it’s impossible not to find a biased news source.

Some are more biased than others, yes. So for me, here’s my process:

1) I examine how the news source is biased

2) I examine my own bias.

I think the bias in a news source is easier to see than our own personal bias. So I exert some energy towards questioning my own reaction.

Weird thing: Let’s say a hundred people watch a video of a terrible tragedy (unfortunately not hard to imagine). No headlines, no commentary. Just the video. You still might have a hundred different opinions. Or if you put them all in a room, half of them might lean one way and half the other.

Many of us see what we want to see, even when others are not telling us how to see it. Before I land on an opinion, I need to do a gut check. I need to examine everything I’m seeing and the way I see it.

However, and this is a big however: your initial gut reaction is not always wrong either. Sometimes your visceral, emotional reaction is the right instinct. You can’t keep questioning everything as if you didn’t see the obvious. Many who “just want to ask questions” are being disingenuous.

Sometimes the reason that people dehumanize each other is that we intellectualize the loss of human life. So there might be a horrific tragedy and someone cruelly says “He had it coming.” Or a journalist reports a sexual assault case and says “How sad for the rapist whose career is over” (this has happened many, many times).

If I have to be biased, I’d rather be biased towards caring about people. Any headline about war, addiction, immigration, mental health, race, executions: I’m always biased towards the victims. The wounded. I don’t want to lose sight of that. A station that repeatedly enables the abuser in obvious and subtle ways is not a station I would keep watching.

To answer your other question: About red flags. I don’t trust any particular news station that lifts up personalities who cater to a fanbase. Look at that fanbase. That will tell you a lot about that station.

And by extension, I can’t trust a news source that does not clearly separate their editorializing from their reporting. If you can’t tell a segment is an opinion versus straight reporting, this is a purposeful decision to lead you into a particular perspective. Mostly everyone knows the stations I’m talking about.

If a news station is pretending it is reporting when it trots out the latest regurgitating rhetoric “journalist,” that’s the sort of station that’s trying to brainwash your parents who can’t always tell. It’s no better than Facebook.

Just keep in mind that even the best news sources will let you down sometimes. Every single one has fed into anti-Asian narratives, or “scary Black man” stereotypes, and basically all the news writers hate women. Keep up your filter, trust your gut when it makes sense, and in tragic headlines please don’t lose sight of the victims.

— J.S.

[thelucidimageannakernahan]

Research

Reflection on Mental health

https://www.bartleby.com/essay/Reflection-On-Mental-Health-P32ZV6RS4LF

Reflection allows me to improve the ability to move on, do better and learn from experience and examine myself. 

Self Reflection

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/time-for-some-self-reflection#:~:text=But%20introspection%20%E2%80%94%20or%20self%2Dreflection,to%20cope%20with%20life's%20challenges.

Self-reflection can spark insight altering the way we see ourselves and those around us (alters perspective)

Turning inward strengthens emotional intelligence making it easier to cope with life's challenges

Personal Reflection: Disclosing mental health issues to family 

https://www.apa.org/pi/oema/resources/ethnicity-health/asian-american/reflection-disclosing

Reflection & Reflective practices for promoting positive mental health

https://positivementalhealth.eu/2021/01/06/reflection-and-reflective-practices-for-promoting-positive-mental-health/

Kolbs learning Cycle: Experience → Reflective Observation (reviewing/reflecting on experience) → Conceptualisation (learning from experience) → Experimentation (try what you learned) 

Developing a reflective attitude nurturing Intra and interpersonal intelligence

Deepens awareness about self, others and the context they’re in, to deal with changes and challenges

Unobserved thoughts and feelings can lead to repetitive negative patterns - the ability to slow down, observe and reflect to move forward with life and relationships

Reflection is intended to explore subtle inner and relational processes, to reveal causes and personal triggers

Reflection is no longer conceived as a mere evaluation or logical process of cause and effect but rather as a holistic process of discovery and deep insight Individuals connect body and mind to become more aware of who they are, what they feel, what they think and how they relate to others and the context they are in. Reflection is indicated by some form of emotional intensity in which they demonstrate the connection between themselves and the topic. 

Mental Health Photographers

https://kulturehub.com/mental-health-photographers-importance/

Edward Honaker: Documents his experience with chronic depression, making a series of black and white self-portraits, capturing the isolating fear from depression. Honaker used his camera to turn his emotions into a tangible expression, taking steps toward finding a solution.

Katie Joy Crawford: Anxious Heart series represents her physical experiences with anxiety and depression. Capturing internal struggles and bringing them to light. Explores the emotional and physical journey of her life experiences with her diagnosis. Explains the weight that these bear on society and challenging social taboos. 

Heather Agyepong: Black trauma and difficulties dealing with racism. Series of staged self-portraits. Mixes historical figures and own experiences. Negative feelings of inequality and racism. 

John William Keedy: Series “Its Hardly noticeable” Anxiety disorder. Series as a representation of himself but also relatable and helpful for his audience. Portraying the different struggles of anxiety that different people have. 

Etinosa Yvonne Osayimwe: Depicts trauma and uses it as evidence against atrocities. “It’s all in my head” series. Helps people open up about their experience and help them deal with trauma. 

Yospie Cardoso: Schizophrenia, self-portraits depicting life with schizophrenia. Incentivises awareness and eliminates stigmas. 

Exploring mental health through photography

https://www.creativereview.co.uk/exploring-mental-health-through-photography/

Time to change campaign: combat mental health discrimination, change the way media depicts mental health issues. 

“Head clutches” photo: reading an article about depression and at the top of the article about depression is a picture of a person holding their head in their hands - as a reductive depiction of depression 

More nuanced methods of capturing the experience of living with mental health issues. These are of isolation, and pervasive alienation. 

It Opens the door for more artists to make work about their personal experiences and share it with a wider audience. There are greater opportunities for people to explore photography as a medium to process, document and therapeutically conceptualise inner states.

[jaanusbooktalk]

How We Fall Apart by Katie Zhao - Review

7.6/10

TWs: inappropriate student/teacher relationship, abuse, suicide, self harm, parental neglect, panic attacks, drug use, racism

(I ranked the TWs in order of severity)

Hi! This is my first tumblr post, so I should probably introduce myself- I’m Jaanu, and I read (probably way too much). This is a “blog” account where I’m going to give my reviews on different books as I finish them. At the moment, I’m only reading books by BIPOC and queer folks(though this may change) it will be what I focus on: so needless to say, this is a safe space. I want to highlight books with representation because they were so few and far between growing up, and I know I’m not the only one looking for these kinds of books. I’ll do my best to give spoiler-free reviews, so I hope you enjoy!

The summary:

“Nancy Luo is shocked when her former best friend, Jamie Ruan, top ranked junior at Sinclair Prep, goes missing, and then is found dead. Nancy is even more shocked when word starts to spread that she and her friends--Krystal, Akil, and Alexander--are the prime suspects, thanks to "The Proctor," someone anonymously incriminating them via the school's social media app.

They all used to be Jamie's closest friends, and she knew each of their deepest, darkest secrets. Now, somehow The Proctor knows them, too. The four must uncover the true killer before The Proctor exposes more than they can bear and costs them more than they can afford, like Nancy's full scholarship. Soon, Nancy suspects that her friends may be keeping secrets from her, too.

TL;DR Students at an elite prep school are forced to confront their secrets when their ex-best friend turns up dead.

I first found this book through a tik tok video, and the author marketed it as Asian dark academia; normally when I hear this, it’s safe to assume people are talking about East Asians, but I commented to ask and found out that one of the four main characters is South Asian, Akil Patel. That was how HWFA made it onto my TBR and eventually my bookshelf. (I’m South Indian, and a sucker for dark academia).

In terms of representation, the book has good parts and less good parts. The MC, Nancy, is Chinese-American and many elements of her culture are seen throughout. This is probably bc the author is also Chinese, so she’s writing what she knows. As for the other characters… not so much.

We see that Alexander can speak Mandarin, so he’s most likely Chinese, but Krystal is just stated to be Korean and there’s nothing really involving her culture. Same with Akil. I was kinda disappointed that Akil and Nishant (the other minor South Asian character) were only recognizable as such by their names, but I digress.

What I liked:

Okay I loved the dynamic between a certain someone 👀 and Nancy - I felt like they were able to say a lot without saying a lot, and I really liked how the book avoided typical potholes in the diverse YA path: the rep that was there, was good rep. I also love highschool cliches, and I liked how they were struggling through regular classes like AP World History or AP Chem - I found this really relatable.

Also, at the beginning of each chapter there would be a sample comment from the messaging app “Tip Tap” and those always made me laugh, because the language was so realistic to the way people in my generation actually text. I genuinely liked the story- I never got bored, never had to put the book down because I was lost, I was able to pretty much finish it in a day.

There are also at least two queer characters (one bisexual, the other undefined) which made me really happy because it was subtle, unexpected, and added a layer of character depth.

I like the way that HWFA didn’t outline a clear villain, and in the end you realize that these are all just high schoolers who don’t actually know what they want and that’s okay! It tackles mental health in a very raw way, which is why I say: take the TWs seriously!!

Last thing, the relationship between Nancy and her mother made me cry - her unquestioning support of her daughter while also wanting her to excel really hit home for me. This book is a love letter to diaspora kids trying to make their parents proud, even at the expense of their mind and body.

Here’s why I can’t give it a 10:

I read Ace of Spades first. I know that sounds like a terrible reason, but hear me out. Ace of Spades (still no spoilers) follows a similar plot line almost down to the letter, except the main characters are Black and it’s a lot more terrifying than “dark academia”. If HWFA is like Asian Gossip Girl, then AoS is Jordan Peele’s “Get Out”. Both books are really good, both have scary anonymous texters exposing the main characters to the whole school, both take place in very privileged private school settings and are centered around secrets coming to light. I’m not saying anyone copied anyone else, they both came out the same year, but reading AoS first meant I could see the ending long before it showed up in HWFA.

Also, and this is a big one, I couldn’t stand Nancy.

I tried over and over again to relate to her, to excuse her actions, and I understand she’s not meant to be a perfect person but she kept making these really really dumb choices, like super dumb, and the reasoning was always “I’ve never been allowed to step a toe out of line, I want to be bad for once” etc etc.

I can’t explain how many times I wanted to jump into the book and shake her, because there are levels to dumb, especially as a teenager. Drinking? Okay, kinda dumb, but you’re 18, whatever. Inappropriate student/teacher relationship? Different. Level. I wish it had been made more clear in the trigger warnings how central this would be to the plot.

On that note, I didn’t like how the book never really addressed why the student/teacher relationship was inappropriate - it was more so because he was a bad person than because he was older and totally taking advantage of her.

That being said, dark academia is one of my favorite genres, and HWFA did it perfectly. We have the tension, the secret meetings, the academic stress, the nighttime danger, the plot, the mystery. This is Katie Zhao’s first “older” YA novel, with characters in high school instead of middle school, and I say overall it was a job well done 💯!

[snakeningel]

not to be starting homestuck race disk horse in 2019 but yknow what? I Will.

being an asian fan in the hs fandom is kinda, not great actually. in fact, it not only feels like we’re not here at all, that we’re erased, but its honestly? downright harmful. people treat the trivialization and fetishization of your culture to be,,, like a Big Joak. yall joke about weebs like these people havent been literally grooming and abusing asian girls, like we havent been made fun of enough for Their actions, like we aren't already viewed as the strange punchlines to jokes that still seem somehow acceptable. its somehow funny to joke about how you hate every sign of asian culture that shows up throughout the comics, like how dirk’s kotatsu was dumb and pretentious as if people in japan dont literally live with one and use it every single day!

even asian-coding in characters get swept away in favour of other headcanons. even the megidos, who are as close to canonically asian as they possibly can be in a medium like homestuck, are often drawn white or something completely different altogether. the stridlondes are also heavily asian-coded, and the fans who do pick up on that, who finally feel comforted by someone like them as protagonists? they often just.. give up on that, because they see so little representation in the fandom. (theres only like one popular artist i know of that draws the strilondes asian? but like, hats off to u pal, youre fighting the good fight). also, it seems strange, to be represented so little considering almost 3 billion people on earth is asian, which is, Quite A Lot to be not represented a lot. dont get me wrong, i adore the outpouring of more diverse art of the kids, but a hard truth to swallow is that pocs being weebs/fetishizing asian culture, is just as harmful as white people doing the same. there is a world of difference between japanese dirk, trying to interface with his lost culture by clinging to the most performative and popular parts of it, than another dirk, appropriating people’s cultures because he thinks its funny or interesting based off a show he watched once. i love how people are like "wow the striders like anime and care about traditions and use japanese words and overall just seem like diaspora kids" and the conclusion they draw from that is "clearly,, they cannot be asian" bc a non-asian person being interested in those things is better than an asian person whose interested in their own culture i guess??

in fact, a lot of these narratives are so much more interesting once theyre looked at through their coded lenses!

Dave’s struggle with coming to terms with his emotions strikes such an interesting chord when the striders’ concept of irony and never showing their emotions Correspond so well to the idea of honour/face, where youre not supposed to show that youre Ever Sad or anything that isnt a positive emotion because it shows that youre a Failure and You Failed and that makes you a Bad Person, which is exactly what dave struggles with because hes So Guilty about it, which ties to the guilt and shame a lot of asian people feel about not being able to live up to impossible standards set by their parents, which is another theme we see reflected in all four strilondes. 

rose’s strained relations with her mother are mirrored in so many of our second-generation lives and makes so much more cultural sense when looked at that way. the weird distance you hold from your parents, where you cant look each other in the eyes anymore, because every interaction feels more like a business transaction. you hand in your good grades and praise from teachers, talking about how mature you are, and they return with some present or gift that you don't really want. you dont know anything about them, and they dont know anything about you, Not the person you Actually Are, anyways. but there is a yearning, to be close, to know eachother, but you only feel it in return when its too late. as well as her Obsession to be mature, to be smart and adult-like because thats what shes praised for, because you Need to be academically the best always and that means reading dictionaries until the sun goes down, repeating each word until they are engraved into your mind. always finding competition, subtle or not, because if you are not the winner, what are you?  dirk’s wild performative love of japanese culture (which also, in turn, lead to non-asian fans literally trashing it like it was a funny joke to call someone’s culture lame and stupid) seems like ‘ironic’ weebism, but its also being Exactly the type of over-the-too performative reclaiming of our culture that so many asian diaspora kids do when they’re teens! they feel bad about pushing away their culture as youth, but they’re not quite mature enough to actually care about the rich history and ‘boring’ parts, so they cling to pop culture, to social media and something so much more easily consumable, like anime. which is not even to mention the idea of him trying desperately to connect to a culture that he has never grown up in, but still belonged to by consuming mass amounts of media, being Such an immigrant story. as well as his massive competitive streak and need to make other people as good as he is (but not better), is the type of internalized pressure that a lot of asian kids feel as well. 

and all the stridlondes have various anxieties about not performing well enough, of not living up to a standard that they have set for themselves, feeling like even a single step back or even one mistake is a catastrophic failure that’s branded to you for life. Which is just as much of a mental health thing as it is like,,, an asian thing

this is getting really long so im cutting myself off here but please if you want to hear more about my Thoughts and Hot Takes feel free to shoot me an ask. 

in conclusion: please treat asian people better hs fandom i literally beg you. like,, im Not tryna make waves but,, asian erasure in fandom is a huge issue and no one ever talks abt it!! dont trivialize, fetishize and erase cultures blease  big thanks to @ernikerr and @wyndryga for encouraging me to go Off and helping to write this.

anyone please feel free to rb but non-asian people please watch your mouth