#suicidal ideation implied

[krispdreemurr]

...Do you think Kris likes being around? I wonder about, if push come to shove, how much self-preservation they'd have for themself. They've always struck me as someone who doesn't care very much about their well-being

(in the future I would like a warning attached to asks like these! nothing against you just ive been in a headspace lately and am not always up to consider the will to live of a teenager im attached to)

that said: i think Kris wants to live as themselves. I think they struggle with that for many reasons, and like...

this is going to sound incoherent, but I think a lot of Kris' struggle isn't wanting to be someone different or disappear or be replaced, but wanting to be capable of wanting those things. like... the kid that Ralsei is, polite and smart and loving and kind, was someone they thought they could have as an ideal, but they never actually wanted to be that kid. they know ("know") it would be easier on everyone if they weren't so weird and hard to deal with and so on, but they want to keep being themselves despite that, and feel deep guilt about that. they like being them despite everything. they want to keep being them, even if it bothers people, even if they're not the perfect hero, even if they're not the perfect child, even if they're messy and weird and demand too much and so on. and that, in their eyes, is their own greatest crime.

that said they're not the best at taking care of themselves and value other people above themselves to an unhealthy degree. they would definitely take a blow for a loved one

[stardustedwanderer]

[...What if it is your fault though...?]

[This all started when you died, you where dead and gone and that was that but you came back.

What...

What if the Universe was leading you? What if the Universe wanted you dead. And somehow? You failed to follow..

Sure you've died since. A million different ways, or so it feels and yet.

...

Maybe.. Maybe none of those were the right way? That sounds like you doesn't it? Always messing things up, overlooking the blindingly obvious.

Whatever you did broke something and now.. It can't be fixed until...

....

...You don't want to think about this.]

[birdsribcage]

Just a silly little girl with silly little thoughts of suicide

[kingworm]

lets not test it

[mewguca]

suffocating

whiteboard is free therapy, wow!

[traumatizeddfox]

me doing anything:

my brain: i should kill myself

me: ??????

[jiraisupportgroup]

[traumatizedjaguar]

“The so-called ‘psychotically depressed’ person who tries to kill herself doesn’t do so out of quote ‘hopelessness’ or any abstract conviction that life’s assets and debits do not square. And surely not because death seems suddenly appealing. The person in whom Its invisible agony reaches a certain unendurable level will kill herself the same way a trapped person will eventually jump from the window of a burning high-rise. Make no mistake about people who leap from burning windows. Their terror of falling from a great height is still just as great as it would be for you or me standing speculatively at the same window just checking out the view; i.e. the fear of falling remains a constant. The variable here is the other terror, the fire’s flames: when the flames get close enough, falling to death becomes the slightly less terrible of two terrors. It’s not desiring the fall; it’s terror of the flames. And yet nobody down on the sidewalk, looking up and yelling ‘Don’t!’ and ‘Hang on!’, can understand the jump. Not really. You’d have to have personally been trapped and felt flames to really understand a terror way beyond falling."

- Infinite Jest by David Foster Wallace.

[lovealwayssay]

If my best friend of 12 years who I’ve been in love with for who knows how long told me that he thought he could never have me but he was so happy just loving me from afar and telling me how loved I was that it didn’t matter that he couldn’t have me, and then the fact that he told me he loved me saved my life but killed him, I would simply kill myself too because how do you come back from that.

[frosted-co0kies]

When I feel fucked up I draw dazai

[potatobugz]

im back to bugposting babyyyy

[latelyimanervouswreck]

Im thinking about suicide a lot these days

[noahsresources]

HURT / COMFORT STATEMENTS THAT HIT ME RIGHT IN THE FEELS

pardon me please, i'm just having a moment. possible tw for suicidal ideation and references to death and loss. bonus points for specifying a scenario!

from those who are struggling. ❝ i never thought i'd ever make it this far. ❞ ❝ ... when were you going to tell me about this? ❞ ❝ i don't ever want you to die. please ... don't die ... ❞ ❝ we had our whole lives planned out. ❞ ❝ i just can't, it's too much. it's too fucking much. ❞ ❝ losing him/her/them was the cruelest thing i've ever experienced. ❞ ❝ people say things like, 'you're going green with envy', or 'there's smoke coming out of your ears'. you think they'd come up with a statement like that that describes someone who's in constant pain like this ... ? ❞ ❝ sometimes you need to make room for grief. make time for it. embrace it. it's all i've been doing as of late. ❞ ❝ how is it possible to hurt this much when nothing's wrong? ❞ ❝ drowning in sadness is more fulfilling than drowning in pleasure these days. ❞ ❝ it's hard to let go of the fact that i'm probably going to outlive everyone else in my life. ❞ ❝ i've already lost everything near and dear to my heart. everything except for you. ❞ ❝ i'm just so tired. i just want to go to sleep and never wake up again. ❞ ❝ i was so close to giving up once. ❞ ❝ i don't want him/her/them to die alone. i'd never forgive myself. ❞ ❝ please, don't go ... i just need to feel your arms around me ... ❞ ❝ there's a reason why i hide my emotions locked in a metal cage so deep in my heart. it's so i won't get hurt like this again. ❞ ❝ i've always had to deal with these kinds of things alone. i don't need your help. ❞ ❝ it was my fault. i did this to him/her/them ... ❞ ❝ i can't even see my future anymore. i don't want to. ❞ ❝ there's no way i could possibly be this important to you. ❞ ❝ if i lose him/her/them, then there'll be nothing else for me to live for. ❞ ❝ i don't see a point anymore. in going on, i mean. ❞ ❝ time won't slow down. it never does. i had to learn that the hard way early on. ❞ ❝ go away ... please, just go away. ❞

from those offering support. ❝ ... i'm sorry. i'm so, so fucking sorry that you had to lose him/her/them. ❞ ❝ it wasn't your fault. you did everything you could. ❞ ❝ just remember they'll always be in your heart. ❞ ❝ i don't know what to say to make you feel better, but ... i'm here for you, if that means anything. ❞ ❝ believe it or not ... i know how you feel. i've been through this exact same thing. ❞ ❝ he/she/they loved you. he/she/they loved you so much. trust me ... i know. ❞ ❝ you're not alone. i promise you, you're not alone. ❞ ❝ don't worry, i'll stay. i'm not going anywhere. ❞ ❝ you've been through so much ... be kind to yourself. please. ❞ ❝ it's okay to cry. you don't have to hide your emotions around me. ❞ ❝ you don't have to talk to me. hell, you don't even have to look at me. but, please ... give me a sign that you're hearing what i have to say. ❞ ❝ please ... don't tell me that you'd choose to spend eternity up there with him/her/them over an eternity with me ... ❞ ❝ you're grieving. it's an understandable reaction. but you should rest. you've been overexerting yourself far too much lately. ❞ ❝ the man/woman/person who you lost, who loved you ... he/she/they wouldn't want to see you doing this to yourself. ❞ ❝ crying is your body's way of telling you that you've been keeping everything in for way too long. so let it out. you're safe here. ❞ ❝ sadness is like an ocean. sometimes we drown in it, but other times, we're forced to swim in it. ❞ ❝ as long as i'm here, you'll never not have anyone ever again. ❞ ❝ i hope you know that you can talk to me about anything at all. share anything you need to get off your chest. i'm here for you. ❞ ❝ love is often felt the most in your favorite memories. honor him/her/them by remembering all the happiness he/she/they gave you. ❞ ❝ if you don't feel strong right now, then you don't have to be strong. it's okay to be vulnerable, weak, scared, and sad. ❞

[clevercatchphrase]

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(Links coming in afternoon reblog!)

[hannibard]

Witchers were feared by all, especially "The Butcher of Blaviken" and yet Jaskier was never scared of Geralt, which made zero sense. Geralt might not have been the emotionless killing machine the Continent made him out to be but Jaskier couldn't have known that.

Afer spending time with him, Geralt realised that it probably had to do with the bard's terrible self-preservation instincts. He got into trouble constantly and always followed Geralt on hunts, no matter how dangerous.

When the witcher once asked him about it the bard replied with his brightest smile: "I'm here for a good time, not a long time". It made Geralt roll his eyes but when he thought about it later, he realized with a chill that the bard meant it.

He already knew there was more to Jaskier than meets the eye. The bard talked nonstop and yet Geralt knew almost nothing about his past. He fleeted through towns and relationships, but nothing was permanent and none lasted. When he thought no one was looking at him he had a melancholic look in his eyes, void of the usual shine.

It always puzzled Geralt but now he couldn't help but face the terrifying truth: Jaskier didn't care at all whether he lived or died.

[healinglilia]

what about i kill myself tomorrow as a valentine's day gift to the world