#suidice cw

[flowercrowngods]

cw suicide mention & imagery

original play idea where people seem to live their normal lives but the audience gets the feeling that something’s wrong, there’s a tension and there are things that obviously go unsaid that hang in the air between the characters uncomfortably long enough until the last member of the audience has filled in the blanks in their own way.

there is a figure off to the side, a very young man in a suit, watching them, unmoving and silent, and as the scenes and progress, as characters leave and appear, as the setting changes, the young man is always there. no one interacts with him, but there are moments when they almost do. when the characters stop what they’re doing when they stand close to him, and appear to listen. but there’s nothing.

the sound of TV news reports, all playing over each other, create an uncanny and uncomfortable buzzing that never, never stops, and there are too many to really make out the words. they get more silent the closer they get to the young man in the suit, quieting down to nothing when they stand by him to listen — but the characters seem unaware of the change. so does the young man, statuesque though he is.

then there’s a little girl, covered in dirt, her hair askew, her cheeks rosy — the image of having spent the day outside, playing in the dirt, a smile on her face, her eyes big, as she skips towards the young man and asks, “can we go now? can we play?”

the young man cards his hands through her hair and says, “you go ahead, i’ll be right there.”

but still he stays there, seated.

everything continues as before, but the characters slowly undergo a complete change in character, in routine, in appearance. the old man who wore suits is not dressed in sweats and old, worn out, dirty shirts. the sweet, kindhearted young adult is now quiet and apathetic. the woman who, in the beginning, was talking her friend’s ear off and could barely stand still is unmoving now, staring out into nothingness.

the buzzing and bustling background noise is slowly, gradually getting louder as the characters become increasingly nonverbal and unmoving. the lights dim down.

then all at once, after a crescendo, the noise stops suddenly, the lights turn off completely, before, with warm, yellow light, a woman we’ve seen before — as she stares into nothingness — appears on the stage, slowly approaching the young man as if unsure of her body but undeniable in her grace.

they smile at each other for a moment.

m, whispering: you’re not supposed to be here, not yet

w, cradling his cheeks: i was always supposed to be here long, long before you

m: i know. i’m sorry, i—

w: i know. i forgive you. i’ve always forgiven you

m, after a while: but not yourself

the woman shakes her head.

w: a mother will never forgive herself for burying her child, and a father will forgive himself even less. (a beat) you have such a handsome face.

m: it’s not your fault

w: so beautiful, those eyes, i’ve missed you so much

m: listen to me, it’s not your fault!

w: and your hair! papa would be so glad to know that—

m: mother. mama. listen to me. it’s not your fault

w, tearful and whispering: you were supposed to be fine. you were always supposed to be fine. it was never supposed to be this bad, we were supposed to help, but—

m: i know. i tried, i really did. both times

in that moment, the little girl comes skipping on stage again, approaching them with her wagging ponytail.

g: what are you doing here, mama? will you play with me now? it’s been so long!

the woman gasps, her tears getting the better of her as she falls to her knees and pulls the girl to her chest, who readily returns the hug

w, sobbing, kissing her cheek: hi, baby. yes, i’ll play with you, of course i will. let’s go.

the young man helps his mother up, allowing her to pull him into a hug, and she whispers: “as much as i love her with all my heart, i’m so proud of the young man you’ve grown into. and now i have you both, just as i always did.”

the young man brushes a kiss to her cheek, then lets her go, watching as his mother disappears with the little girl.

m: i have to stay a while. i’ll follow you soon.

(woman and girl, hand in hand, exeunt)

the lights dim, and the buzzing returns, accompanied by the sound of dragging footsteps the audience cannot see, until everything’s back in total darkness. the noise stays. growing louder in increments, leaving the audience uncomfortable and unsure if this was it.

as they quiet down, we hear a man, sobbing uncontrollably, before eerie silence takes his place, too.

the curtain falls.

[wishcamper]

Imagine this:

A young woman is told by her family to follow the instructions of a powerful older man for her own personal growth. They say it is because she has committed an ethical breach by being attracted to and kissing another man. She is asked invasive questions about her sex life and told to atone for her 'outrageous and self-destructive ways'. Her family is instructed to take away 'indulgences' and to ignore her pleas for help.

She is confined to a house until she follows through with a plan to heal the breach. She has frequent sexual contact with the man in charge of her care. Though she is not locked inside, threat of deportation leaves her effectively trapped. She becomes hopeless and suicidal, believing there is no way to undo the damage she's accused of, and will be trapped for the rest of her life unless she complies.

This is not about Nesta Archeron. This is the real life story of Daniela, a woman who was victimized by convicted felon Keith Rainere and his sex-trafficking disguised as self-help organization NXIVM. But the fact that they sound so similar makes me so fucking worried that these books are marketed to an audience of young femme readers.

[beardedmrbean]

[ackackh]

My fiance just showed me the news about Evan Wright. It feels weird to be as sad as I am. I didn’t know him, but he sorta changed my life

[mermaidlighthouse]

Ok so I’m gonna recenter the “indestructible little fucker” moment around Ed…yes it’s obviously directed at Izzy and in a literal sense about Izzy but it’s also about what Izzy represents in Ed’s life, Blackbeard, it’s just further confirmation that the only escape for Ed from the persona of Blackbeard, the darkness, is his own death

Even when he thinks it’s gone, when he believes it’s dead, it’s comes back and hurts him…

From Ed’s perspective, he’s tried allowing himself to find the fun in pirating again when he’s teaching Stede and found that when he’s exposed to the darker elements (Calico Jack) he’ll fall right back into the old patterns, he tried doing what just makes Ed happy and it left him broken, he’s tried accepting that even if his dream of running away with Stede and leaving the past behind didn’t work he can still be Ed and while still dealing with his heartbreak is told Ed’s not good enough

He’s exhausted and depressed and he just wants to be Ed but past experience says that’s never gonna happen, even when he’s imagining his idealized versions of himself (the rich fancy man, the innkeeper) he uses the cover of Jeff because Ed’s not good enough for those things…

Ed’s also offered the outside iteration of Blackbeard (Izzy) the opportunity to kill him and even that escape from the pain, suffering, and darkness wasn’t given

So when Izzy appears and shoots him, it proves that Blackbeard is a looming spectre he can’t evade or outmaneuver, it’s indestructible. And it’s further justification for his decision to remove himself from the equation.

[j3al0usyy]

maybe in another universe i didnt destory myself at such a young age

[angeart]

the new art for hhau is so good! they look so happy in that moment and the way grians wings fit so nicely under scars and the fact that hes comfortable with that? with hugging scar with his wings? aaaaaaaa

the fact he has a little plush chicken? scar won him something? is so cute? i love it

(hope nothing too bad happens with the "no matter how they want to spin it" that doesnt sound like a very supportive community it sounds like grians gonna have even more selfworth issues and scars gonna be even more overprotective bUT THEY CAN HAVE SOFT THINGS YES? JUST A LITTLE BIT?)

and on another note

the ari au hurts so bad omg

the fact that all of this is just spiralling and spiralling

grians loss of control due to her own actions but also the actions of others but also his mental health and scar just trying to be there but its hard and how do you help a person who desperately wants to just have control over their own life but that control could lead to the loss of their life and the issues that come with a lack of agency especially after a suicide attempt with significant mental health issues and just. how do you help. especially in grians situation where it is so hard to escape the public eye with how big she blew up and how much blowing up the news is doing and how its ruining things he loved and she really just needs to have space and time to heal but how can she heal when the things he loves are being taken away from her along with her privacy and agency from the public first but now also from people he trusts because they cant trust him not to commit suicide and

anyway

it hurts so bad and i will definitely be reading the next part while tearing my heart out of my chest (positive)

-burny anon

YAYY so happy you like the recent hhau art!! <3 the way grian's wings slot under scar's and around him is so precious 🥺 especially since it's a rare and hard-fought gesture!

you know... you say you hope nothing bad happens to them. i was gonna give more teases/spoilers, but maybe not here. you know what i'll give here? consider this:

maybe the community is good for them.

maybe it still damages them irreparably.

:))))

nOW THE ARI AU! ARI AU ARI AU ARI AU

it's so weird to say that it's a much darker au than hhau, when hhau is already made of concentrated angst, but... yeah. it is. and i wasn't sure if people will like it / read it, but yay!

there's so much spiralling there. grian's not doing well at all. (and neither is scar, in different ways.)

and as you say, it's so tricky! grian's desperate to have some control, but it's constantly being taken away. there's no privacy, a crumbling sense of self, everything he loved doing and dreamed of slinking sharply out of reach, turning into something frightening. and on top of that, all of the mental health struggles that lead only to less control... because how can she be trusted with a sliver of control, if this is what she does with it? self-destructive, cornered, and desperate. but what else is he meant to do...?

scar wants to help. he wants to so, so much. but how? what can he do, at this point but be there? and it's so stressful. it feels like grian's life now literally relies on him! he can't make any mistakes here. not anymore. please, please, please.

they're both terrified in different ways, absolutely despondent... but at least they have each other. at least there's that.

(grian thinks scar'd be better off without him.)

(scar is terrified that grian will disappear any moment and he won't be able to do a damn thing to stop it.)

they can't even try to heal quietly. privately. all eyes are hungrily on grian/ari, watching every step, ready to pounce and misinterpret and tear apart. there are hands reaching out with nothing but insatiable greed.

she's not a person. she's an item, a commodity, an object, and... how can she reclaim herself? when everything hurts, and everything is so scary, and there's not a single step to take without pointed fingers and judgement, camera flashes and mobs, ridicule and scorn?

but they can't just stay cooped up inside, curtains drawn, not really living either. so what else is there? (grian certainly only sees one way out, most days.)

... mm. ari au the beloved.

as for the next part, look forward! i stole it from ben so i will be the one writing this one :3c expect some feelings mhm mhm!

[letomimusic]

(shamelessly stolen from a fb gb3 fan group)

[nevercured]

A Sadistic Yandere who loves to drug you:

The effects don't matter.

Conscious. Unconscious.

High. Miserably depressed.

They want to see all different sides of you. Your outsides. Your insides. Your narrowly avoided suicides.

Don't you want to be loved so wholly?

[schrijverr]

Painful Memories

After Diggle sees Oliver use a gun for the first time, an offhand comment makes it so that Oliver opens up about the Red Death that Kovar injected him with and how it nearly ended him.

On AO3.

Ships: none

Warnings: Oliver talks about a past near suicide attempt and is still passively suicidal & mentions of being drugged

~~~

In a way, Diggle feels like he shouldn’t be surprised that Oliver knows how to use a gun. It seems the man pulls out new strange skills every other day, so he should be used to it.

However, it takes him by surprise when his bow gets damaged and he grabs a gun off of one of the security guards to continue fighting. And it still feels weird when he watches Oliver expertly clean the gun now that they’re back in the Foundry.

Oliver looks concentrated, but also zen, the movements familiar. He’s getting lost in his own mind as he completes is task and Diggle is curious to know what he’s thinking. “So, guns.”

“It’s been a while,” Oliver replies, putting down the last pieces.

“Yeah.”

“Uh-huh, last time I held a gun without intending to disarm it, I nearly killed myself.” The confession doesn’t seem planned or purposeful. It’s more an absentminded comment that comes from idle musing as he works.

Diggle’s heart stops. Oliver being suicidal shouldn’t come as a surprise, there’s a reason Diggle is worried about Oliver becoming a casualty in his own war. The way he throws himself into danger is reckless and will get him killed one day. But the thought of that being by design still sends a chill down his spine.

His eyes worriedly watch Oliver reassemble the gun and he finds his voice seconds before the clip goes back in. “Hand me the gun.”

“What?” Oliver frowns, holding the clip in one hand, the gun in the other.

“Hand. Me. The. Gun,” Diggle repeats slowly, holding out his hands.

Oliver looks down at the gun, then back to Diggle, before it dawns on him why Diggle is suddenly asking him that. Disbelieving he huffs: “I’m not- I’m not going to kill myself, Diggle.”

“And I’ll feel a lot more certain about that, if you hand me the gun, Oliver,” Diggle shoots back without hesitation.

They stand like that. Across from each other. Diggle refuses to budge, not wanting to risk it no matter what Oliver says, while Oliver is stubborn and annoyed about not being believed. The only peace of mind Diggle has, is that the clip remains out of the gun, though with the skill Oliver showed earlier, he’ll have to move fast should Oliver want to change that.

“I’m not going to kill myself,” Oliver repeats.

“I believe you, but I’ll feel better if you hand me the gun.”

“Dig, you’ve been working with me for weeks. I’ve been around all sorts of weapons. If I wanted to, I could’ve done it with any of those weapons.”

“Yeah, but you never mentioned wanting to with any of those other weapons. So, for my sake, just hand me the gun.”

Diggle holds out his hand once more, giving Oliver an imploring look. For a moment, it seems like Oliver is going to continue being stubborn about it and raise Diggle’s blood pressure, but then he sags a little and hands over the gun. If it weren’t for the situation, Diggle would insist he is pouting about having to hand it over.

“It wasn’t like that when I thought about it,” he says as he gives Diggle the gun. “The only reason I did was because I was drugged.”

“I haven’t heard of any drug that can induce that,” Diggle tells him, getting the gun out of Oliver’s reach.

“Well, then you’ve clearly never been drugged with an old KGB interrogation drug,” Oliver huffs.

“What?”

“They call it the Red Death, it’s supposed to make you relive all the hurts you’ve ever experienced,” Oliver shrugs. “They give you a gun with one bullet. Most shoot themselves.”

“But you didn’t.” Diggle infers that much, since Oliver is still here. However, the information sends him reeling.

Such a drug sounds horrifying and it’s another piece of horrible shit that Oliver went through that he keeps to himself. Diggle has slowly been getting bits and pieces out of him, but there is so much he keeps to himself. It does nothing to dissuade the worry he feels for the other.

Oliver latches on to what Diggle says. “Exactly. I didn’t. I’m still here. If I were to do if, after all the years of bullshit, that would have been the moment. But I decided to live, Diggle. I chose to go on. I’m not going to shoot myself in the head, just because I have a gun in my hands.”

And Diggle wants to believe him, but he’s lost friends he served with, who were reckless like Oliver was, but always chose to live in the heat of battle, but couldn’t bear to make that same choice when they came home.

He chooses his words carefully, not wanting to give Oliver the feeling he doesn’t believe him when he is so miffed about it. However, also still concerned. “Alright, I can believe you won’t do anything that reckless. But no more guns. And I will be keeping a closer eye on you.”

“You’re being ridiculous, I’m not going to kill myself,” Oliver throws his hands up.

“Then you should have no problem with me watching out for you,” Diggle says. “It’s not like I’ll see anything that will cause me more worry. Or are you afraid that I’ll make you realize that just because you’re not putting the gun to your head that the recklessness you show in the field is more than wanting to complete the mission?”

“It’s not like that and you know it. I do what needs to be done,” Oliver explodes. “I don’t need you to coddle me. I survived hell, I survived that drug, even when everyone I knew was suddenly there, telling me how much better life would be without me. My recklessness is calculated. I always plan on making it home.”

His chest is heaving angrily after his outburst. Diggle isn’t sure if he meant to say all that, but it makes Diggle both respect him more and worry about him more.

If he had to guess, he’d say Oliver didn’t plan on revealing as much with the way his eyes shutter close into that emotionless mask Diggle has seen him use so often. He wants to push more, but it won’t be productive, so he just says: “Alright, I’ll let it go.”

The words are a total lie, because Diggle refuses to let it go. Oliver has become a friend, the only one he still has after Andy. He gave him his purpose back, made him live more than a routine he hated. He can’t lose his friend, his brother. So, yeah, he won’t let go, but he’ll say as much to put Oliver at ease.

“Thank you,” Oliver says after a beat, sounding a little suspicious, but willing to believe Diggle if it means the conversation is over.

Wordlessly, they set up everything to close up in silence, which accompanies them into the car as Diggle drives Oliver home, before returning to his own apartment.

Diggle doesn’t bring it up again, but always makes sure to keep an eye on Oliver to see if anything in his behavior changes. Observes when days are harder and when they come easier, sees how Oliver pulls through consistently.

He also sees how Oliver gets more good days over time, how he opens up more. Let’s others in, like Felicity, Sara, Roy. He has his loses, but they don’t drag him under and drown him like they used to before.

So, when they’re in Corta Maltese getting shot at by a private army, Diggle doesn’t hesitate in throwing a gun at Oliver when he asks for it. He trusts now that he won’t do anything stupid with it and gets a bit of pleasure from watching Roy’s confused face when Oliver expertly uses it.

The worry never fully fades, but both of them have moved from surviving to living. That’s not something to underestimate.

[whtwclf]

I never thought I would have to say this out loud, but here we fucking are I guess— so whoever needs to hear this:

Wade Wilson has never been and never will be a goddamn Nazi.

If you or someone you know is dropping into inboxes on anon and accusing people writing Wade Wilson of being racist and/or Nazis - well friends, let’s unpack that shall we?

Let’s first address the comic run with which is being referenced here, and that’s the Hydra Cap run. This is a run wherein through some nonsensical Cosmic Cube related shit [[ you can read a bit about that here ]] where Wade is more or less manipulated by who he thinks is Steve Rogers/Captain America into essentially doing shit that does or ends up benefiting Hydra schemes. I’m hazy on it because it was a shit run that nearly the whole of 616 fans REVILED, by a HUGE margin, and that’s my point the first - as a fandom we mostly rejected that whole storyline. As much as we refuse to believe that Wanda and Pietro aren’t Magneto’s children, almost any 616er does not recognize huge portions of that run.

MY POINT THE MFING SECOND—

Is even if they did by into that run;

Wade Wilson acting on what he believes is on the behest of Captain America a Nazi does not make him, no more than Steve is a Nazi for a clone hydra made of him or no more than mcu Bucky Barnes being made a slave to Hydra machinations.

So if you have a shit understanding or knowledge of the works and comics you speak of and are so lazy you can’t be bothered to do an iota of research and instead fucking CHOOSE to slander people on anon and tell them to kill themselves - then you can kindly block me and get fucked. This isn’t a debate on the character of Wade Wilson. He’s a good guy. He’s the best fucking guy. He loves everyone and judges no one unless they seek to do harm to someone who doesn’t deserve it. And if you would rather CHOOSE to ignore the heroism written into that character, CHOOSE to ignore the importance he holds to people of all colors and faiths and races and communities and cultures and genders, in favor of being a juvenile little shit bag? Then have you stopped to consider, just even by a margin, what a disgusting ASSHOLE that makes YOU? Have you?

Have you considered that this performative purity bullshit impresses no one anymore? That you’re KILLING this community with this shit? You must because you’re harassing people on anon, where it use to be the rule you could do that in the open with impunity? Not quite that anymore though, is it? Because everyone is the fuck over it. You’re a joke anymore who helps no one and proves nothing.

So in summation;

Hydra Cap sucks. So does that run. Nazis are the worst shit.

And most importantly?

Wade Wilson is a fucking hero.

I said what I said.

✌️

[flowercrowngods]

you wanted to kill yourself and then you kinda did and now you inspire art. kinda fucked how that works

[cobaltdevils]

[beardedmrbean]

A small-town Alabama mayor died apparently by suicide just days after a conservative news site published pictures of him allegedly wearing women's clothes and makeup, officials said Sunday.

Smiths Station Mayor F.L. "Bubba" Copeland, who was also a pastor at First Baptist Church of Phenix City, fatally shot himself and was pronounced dead at 5:01 p.m. CT Friday, Lee County Coroner Daniel Sexton told NBC News in a statement.

An autopsy was scheduled for Monday.

Thank you all for your prayers and expressions of sympathy and support," First Baptist Church said in a statement Saturday. "First and foremost, we ask that you keep Pastor Bubba Copeland’s family in your prayers today, and in the days ahead."

Copeland died two days after the 1819 News published a story with photos of the mayor donning women’s clothes and makeup.

Copeland was best known for leading his town through a tornado that killed 23 people in eastern Alabama in 2019.

"I am so saddened at the death of my friend Mayor Bubba Copeland," Jones said. "He was a good man and a great mayor who led the small town of Smith Station through the tough times of a devastating tornado a few years ago."

Then-President Donald Trump visited damaged communities, and Jones said Copeland played a vital role in communicating the region's needs to the White House.

"I toured the destruction with him, helped him navigate the FEMA recovery efforts and made sure that he was able to plead his case directly to President Trump," Jones said.

The city of Smiths Station, about 80 miles east of Montgomery, Alabama’s capital, near the Georgia border, has a population of about 5,400 people.

If you or someone you know is in crisis, call or text 988 to reach the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline or chat live at 988lifeline.org. You can also visit SpeakingOfSuicide.com/resources for additional support _________________________________

[purgatory-of-assbutts]

I was just wondering how Joel could’ve flinched so badly as to end up with a scar like that on the side of his head. Thing is, I was thinking that he used a pistol like Henry did. What if he used Tommy’s rifle though? Did Tommy wake up to the sound of his gun going off and realize what Joel just tried to do? Is he the one that brought him to the camp, both for the head and stomach wounds? Like, a part of Joel died with Sarah and it wasn’t time that fixed it. Was that the first inkling he had of what his brother was going to become in the apocalypse? A symbolic death stemming from a literal one

[analuvsm3]

I want yall people to be honest about your thoughts of my body. I feel like I'm not skinny enough and I want to listen to other people's opinion. I don't mind even if the truth is harsh .

I am fr asking how much do you think I weigh and I would appreciate an honest answer. Thank you 🤍