#system w/o trauma is not possible

[hisdyingwish]

Random as hell, but it's so funny how people still think non-traumagenic systems are really a thing Like dude, the DSM-5 has dissociative disorders very clearly labeled as TRAUMA disorders.

& People still think it's possible w/o trauma, like HOW?? Where are your SOURCES, the years of RESEARCH done by professionals, where is it??? That is a genuine question

(For the love of God, PLEASE fucking read my reblog(s) under this post before replying in any way to the post, thank you.)

[antiendofictives]

as someone who isnt plural. whats the deal with endos? the human brain is an enigma and we know almost nothing abt it, why couldnt a system form w/o trauma? genuine question btw im confused

we have a pretty good post about this / about why endos are bad / why people don't like endos on our other blog ((@antiendovents))

Here's the link

The brain is confusing, sure. But we do know things about it. There are facts that there are certain disorders only caused by trauma (PTSD, Acute stress disorder / ASD) , just like how there are certain disorders only caused by genetics / disorders you can only be born with (Autism, ADHD, ect)

Let me know if I'm wrong about any of those disorders, but you get my point dont you? There are some things that just aren't possible and we have to accept that /lh

[rocambolestim]

Mixed origin median system Miché stimboard after finding out we're a nondisordered traumagenic-quoigenic system! (atleast we know that we're partially formed from possible trauma tho) (done by 🤹‍♂️ miché)

Requests open 24/7!

x/x/x/x/o/x/x/x/x

Please read my pinned post before interacting, thank you!

[id: a stimboard based off the regretevator npc miché featuring the mixed origin & median system flags, there are 8 gifs in total. 1st row's gifs are: 1. someone painting w/ brown paint on a white surafce, 2. a camera panning up to some trees, 3. someone opening & closing a pastel purple wireless earbuds package which is kuromi themed. 2nd row's gifs are: 1. someone holding a pin of the pokemon snom, 2. an egg going through a small yellow/white plastic basketball hoop. 3rd row's gifs are: 1. someone zooming in on miché's 3d model on the legacy version of the crumbl cube floor from regretevator, 2. someone putting 2 green coloured scoops of icecream ina cup & thee final gif of the 3rd (final) row being: someone zooming in & out of a green/white drink themed to the pokemon sprigatito.

there is a banner w/ miché (a white furred cat wearing brown jester clothes) on it on a brown background w/ white polkadots. there is text which is white coloured w/ brown outlines, the banner reads: "do not interact: anti endo/sysmed, proshipper, terf, transmed, racist, kink/nsfw/18+, exclusionist, map/nomap, anti mogai, radqueer, transid, xenosatanist, etc. op is a minor, please respect my boundaries!!"]

[antiendovents]

hi, singlet here. Not sure if this is the right place to ask, but I was looking for information as to why endos are bad, since I’ve seen both pro and anti endo takes and I’m currently on the fence about it. I didn’t want to take a side w/o being educated.

endos are bad for many reasons, but some of the main reason has to do with the misinoformation they spread: DID/OSDD is a trauma disorder and they claim to have it without trauma, which just isn't possible. (sources on this - 01, 02, 03.) they also like to claim that they create their alters on their own accord, which isn't true, alters form as a coping mechanism from stress and or trauma / they form whenever your brain thinks you need them. (sources on this - 01.) along with that many endos claim to "system hop", as in they claim to send their alters into other systems of different bodies, which obviously isn't possible. (this term is also stolen from RAMCOA survivors and originally mean jumping between side systems within your own system, not going into a different body.) this isn't even touching on the racism, transphobia and ableism within the endo community. but yeah, i appreciate you trying to educate yourself and i hope that this post helps you a little, anyone else who has sources or points to make are free to make additions in the replies or reblogs. <- this is not an invitation for pro-endos or endos, just asking for other anti-endos to add their points and opinions.

[xxxg0ryygurlll13xxx]

i feel reallllllly bad abt this

so some backstory my bf plays a lot of military video games (war thunder esp thats his fave) and loves military boats and planes and wants to go into the military via an academy.

i have a complicated relationship w the military and military men. a lot of the men in my family (my grandfathers, uncles, cousins etc) were at one point in the military and it didnt go well for any of them. they all have major issues cause of their service. my grandfather developed a drinking problem after vietnam, my great uncle extreme PTSD after fighting in Iraq and all have or had been abandoned by the govt esp my uncles. so needless to say i have a weird relationship w the us govt and military systems.

so my bf wants to go into the military and while im well aware that high school sweethearts usually dont work out weve been dating for over 3 years straight and bros been talking abt marriage lately so i kinda have a feeling well last so his military dreams scare the SHIT out of me. not just the possibility of having him come back in a casket, or not coming back at all but him coming back so different, angry/violent or a drunk or an addict or sick or all of the above. i want him to be happy but i dont want him to come back blown to bits or missing limbs.

hes one of those people who wants to do it for the glory. the love of country the idea of coming back a hero. the way the current politics are going in america were probably gonna have a huge war soon maybe even on 2 fronts, WWIII. that scares me too just in general and add someone i love so much so far for so long going years w/o seeing him, sometimes not knowing if hes dead or alive. scares me but thats so selfish. thats my problem im so selfish about it. ive told him my concerns and it makes me feel like a bad person cause ik he wants this pretty bad tho he did say if he doesnt get into an academy he wont enlist hell go somewhere else for engineering and work for the govt that way. but i just feel so selfish. i want him to be happy but i also want him alive and safe.

also while im being honest here i really dont think hes military material. hes not very uh fit (i doubt hed pass the physical test), his grades r pretty average the academies r really hard to get into, hes EXTREMELY stubborn which the military would not at all approve of he only does one extracurricular, and he has some other problems i wont mention that wouldnt go well in the military. so his chances at an academy arent very high but just enough to scare me.

and i know its selfish which is why i feel so bad about it. its so complicated. on one hand i really dont want him to go and i just want him to consider the pros and cons, he has a very video game propaganda-y watered down "glory" view of the military that they can do no wrong and i know the other end the trauma, the abandonment, the fear, ive heard the stories the stories of men watching each other get blown up, watching civilians struggle to breathe cause of the chemicals we used, my grandfather had to watch his best friend get his legs blown off. the coming back different, changed and not for the better. sure the glorys nice the honor is amazing but at what cost? i have relatives who have purple hearts and were abandoned by the system that gave it to them. on the other hand tho i know its so selfish to not want him to follow what he wants to do. to tell him he shouldnt, that its a bad idea, that its not worth it, that the risk isnt worth the possible reward, to think abt how once u sign on that dotted line u cant quit till ur contract is up. im gonna follow my dreams of being an artist so why should i let him follow his?

i feel so conflicted abt it. i cant tell where the line between caring and selfishness is. i feel guilty and selfish and scared all at the same time. i hope and pray he changes his mind but i know i cant make him no matter how many times i not so subtly mention the possiblity of death, disability, PTSD the thousands of things that can go wrong. i feel so selfish but i cant help my fear. i think i care too much. thats my problem. i care too much abt his physical safety i overlook his happiness. i apologized to him abt my selfishness over this like a half hour ago and havent heard back.

[shitty-proendo-blackout-posts]

non-traumagenic systems are really a thing

it's possible w/o trauma

[hisdyingwish]

i don’t really understand what non-traumagenic means :( I searched it up but I still can’t understand

No worries! "Non-traumagenic" basically means no trauma involved. A non-traumagenic system would be a system that has not formed due to trauma. A longer explanation:

DID/OSDD/Disorder systems form cause of trauma. Said person experiences trauma at a young age and ends up as a plural system. That is system would be a "traumagenic system".

However, people claim to be a plural system without experiencing trauma or they claim that they're plural system did not form due to trauma (even if they have gone through trauma before). These systems are "non-traumagenic system" (system formed w/o trauma).

That is, ofcourse, not possible. But I hope that made sense!

[melodicaprils]

oh my god im going to gp insane i NEED to hear your mal headcanons. (i dislike canon mal but i also dont like fanon mal and i have a very specific image of his character (i dont lile most fanon characters because people mischaracterize them so often :( (especially in all stars))) im begging you . headcanons for mike n co now ! !!! !! i hope i read your pinned post right i sometimes confuse what canon and fanon mean and use the terms in the opposite way

i loved total drama sm as a kid and seeing so many ppl still liking it and being fans is so awesome omg !!!! mike n co were probably my awakening to being a possible system but idk yet !!! but i might actually explode if i think about td too much sorry to ramble in uour asks i just think your cool :)

ask n u shall recieve!!!

ive gotten my headcanons after lots of thinking abt lines at 3am n going "bro... what if he didnt mean that..... omg i cracked the code......" n just silly thoughts

actually likes breakcore covers of classical music (he strikes me as a breakcore listener - breakcore is a music genre of rlly fastpaced drums n usually piano)

TRASH at baking. he will somehow burn anything he tries to make.

practices evil laughs in the mirror

so im a huge zoey x mal shipper, n a lot of my headcanons abt them include: mal being maybe a lil touchstarved, secretly rlly likes being lil spoon but would never admit it, n he actually tries to b a good person for his s/o (bc i always see ppl headcanon him as an abusive partner??????)

didnt actually want to "rule juvie" duncan was exaggerating since mal looked so threatening (n no1 knew how silly villain he is)

got into juvie for a rlly bad fight he won

actually cares abt his headmates (except for mike bc mike was the 1 that took away fronting privaleges) n made sure that they werent too hurt by the punishments (bc if he rlly wanted to punish them, he wouldnt choose stuff like "just... scupt a fish out of butter" or "sit around selling... uh..... skateboards" n wouldnt have left that glass of water for vito

HAS NEVER KILLED SOME1. idk where yall got those headcanons bc yeah he hurt some ppl on td but so did almost every contestant??? also ITS TOTAL DRAMA. U HAVE TO BETRAY PPL. cmon fandom..

he was the 1 who tried cutting his hair. mike tried to do smth cool w/ it n convince every1 he did

mal likes unsweetened uncaffinated bitter black coffee cuz he hates sweet stuff (hell maybe try a piece of cake that zoey i mean his s/o gives him)

is both persecutor n traumaholder (or protector n trauma holder if were going the mal redemption arc)

i think he n duncan would b friends n shoplift together

i like to think the reset button only put him in dormancy (im not a sys, but i think u cant just hit a button to delete all ur alters??) since he was also in a lighter dormancy from juvie to b4 tdroti

i think thats all of them! i agree on hating fanon (what the fandom believes in canon that is never stated) mal bc how did u get coldhearted psycopathic villain from a guy whos said "if i cant win fairly, ill just have to win... UNFAIRLY!!!!!! *evil laughing*"

also ty for thinking im cool ^_^

[yesterday05]

run by a system mostly for littles

hi, pinned post, please like if you read, tysm❤️

no nsfw / kink interaction here, please, and in addition we personally avoid pacifiers + diapers the latter of which is usually triggering, thanks*

*we are OK with regressors or syskids who find comfort in pacifiers or d*apers, we just personally dislike them / have trauma surrounding them in regards to regression

playlist for your troubles

main is @b0xspring, sys specific blog is @boxspringz. other littles w/o blogs listed might reblog things as well but we try to keep the general stuff here. he/it collectively, age ranges are pretty varied but typically the littles here posting are around 6. non traumagen systems please dni, no syscourse etc we’re too tired to get into anything

might try to tag some posts? writing this very blurry and possibly overall regressed rn but here are some emoji tags for some frequent posters & their blogs (if they feel comfortable enough to share)

🌈 izzy: she/they

🎋 baby / julia: any @bubbabouncer

🦊 ren / clover: she/he @sleepingkitsune

🦋 girl / luna: she/her @liddellgirl (cw?)*

🎀 girl / lizzie: she/it

🐈 kitty / riley: she/her [this blog! also izzy’s]

🐶 lulu: she/they @oupylulu

⏱️ link: he/him @lullabyboy (not very active)

🕯️ wax: she/any @waxwormwood

📦 box: she/he [this blog!]

🐺 hunter: he/him @huntergrave (cw/tw)*

work in progress, more below the cut if you’re interested

*could have potentially upsetting content reblogged/not entirely just regression posts

some more interests / identities . . .

🌈 izzy !

- mlp (esp. fluttershy), wolves, twilight princess, rainbows, iridescence & opalite, animal jam, coraline, nintendo wii + gamecube, sesame street (esp. elmo & julia), geese, cats, ferrets, namine (kingdom hearts), eevee

🎋 baby / bouncer / julia / mei !

- red pandas, turning red, sesame street (esp. julia), stuffed animals, toys, nature, bingo heeler

🦊 ren / clover / nanako !

- madoka magica / magical girls, nanako dojima, persona 4, pokémon (esp. fox pokémon), animal jam, futaba sakura, huohuo (hsr), qiqi (genshin), star guardian ahri + soraka (league of legends), the fox & the hound, clovers, studio ghibli (esp. spirited away & ponyo)

🦋 girl / luna !

- alice liddell (alice: madness returns), mourning doves, mlp (esp. princess luna), lavenza (persona 5), coraline, the color blue

🎀 girl / lizzie !

- mangle (fnaf), natsuki (ddlc), the color pink, parties, ldshadowlady + minecraft

🐈 kitty / riley / anne-marie !

- animal jam, inside out, tangled, pokémon, webkinz, wolf children, animal crossing (esp. population growing/gcn), peewee’s playhouse, spongebob squarepants, super mario games, dragonball, mlp (esp. twilight sparkle), pound puppies, littlest pet shop, tmnt 2012, all dogs go to heaven, land before time, cats

🐶 lulu !

- blues clues, bluey, littlest pet shop, pound puppies, scooby doo, dog with a blog

⏱️ link / boy / hero !

- ocarina of time + majora’s mask, cows, horses, chickens, minecraft, princess zelda & navi, koroks, teddie / kuma (persona 4)

🕯️ wax / marcy / briar !

- candles, spirals, pink + white + black, vocaloid (esp. hatsune miku), opossums, cookie run (esp. milky way cookie), little white kitties, draculaura, adventure time (esp. marceline)

📦 box / angel !

- general early 2000-2010’s nostalgia, most of everyone’s interests combined, twilight princess, rain, blankets + stuffed animals, nighttime, animal jam, red pandas + wolves, calico cats, deer, lambs, tales of symphonia, adventure time, the owl house, amphibia, gravity falls, littlest pet shop, my little pony (fim + g3), sleepovers / pillow forts / safe places

🐺 hunter !

- the owl house, any & all halloween nostalgia, autumn, red cardinals + other birds, wolves, twilight princess, plants, gladion (pokémon usum)

[polydemipan]

NOTE: WILL CONTAIN GOOD OMENS S2 SPOILERS. THIS WAS TAGGED, BUT JUST IN CASE :))

okay so narratively, i understand this decision. crowley has Fallen, he has seen the worst sides of [angelism?? ethereality? eh] and understands that theres a systemic issue here, not just a few bad apples. slight sidenote, LOVING the protective energy here!!

but yeah, crowley sees the bad but aziraphale has lived his millennia essentially being puppeteered, terrified of Falling, of defying God, (see that Job episode as eg.) of [anything which crowley represents, really]. he has been basically trained to go "God" = "Good", so understandable that even when angels or archangels or the metatron are doing questionable things (2nd armageddon, or whatever the "Second Coming" is (is that a bible thing? im not christian i dont know shit but it sounds like an antichrist thing maybe we get more adam/anathema/dog content, idk, fingies crossed)) aziraphale just thinks "do what god intended and it will be fixed"

went off a bit there but yeah, i see why narratively they took it like that. something needs to snap in aziraphale to be able to see what the issue is - you saw them all (hopefully, ur not reading this w/o having seen it) freaking TF OUT in ep6 when the metatron walked in and revealed himself, they idolise that fucker for some reason.

but - logically, yes, make me Suffer watching the best bois but emotionally??? how could you! ive been stalking the good omens s2 tag for a lil bit before writing this and yes, people have a point, my ofmd trauma is kicking in because i Feel the pain but am now also hopelessly theorising on what possibly could fix this in s3 (hopefully the Writing Gods provide it for us!!! strike time permitted, obviously, as long as its actually confirmed and not just sitting around without answers on a potential continuation because that is agony)

TL:DR

ouch,,, but i get it. please let our ineffable husbands be Happy in the next season!!!!! idc what it takes, as soon as this uploads i will be SPRINTING to the ao3 fixit tags and reloading the page every 5s.

thank you for coming to my ted talk xoxo

[buoyant-breeze]

when they are angry hcs

authors note ⊱ THESE ARENT DIRECTED @ READER BTW! so if ur like me and have trauma w people being aggressive or raising their voices or smth,,, fear not. this is not directed at their s/o or reader specifically!! INSTEAD, imagine comforting them when theyre angry and they just melt into ur arms a little ok??? ok awesome

characters ⊱ albedo, diluc, childe, kaeya

warnings ⊱ anger? i guess?

rating ⊱ sfw

diluc

he’s very slow to anger, and his expression is indecipherable enough that no one truly notices unless you know him: his fists clench a little tighter, his tone becomes a hint more clipped than usual, his eyebrows knit together into a harsh, intimidating line

mostly just gets frustrated and starts pacing, letting out very aggressive, deep sighs to try and calm himself (and only riling himself up again immediately after)

doesn’t pick fights, usually just walks away from situations or people that get him too worked up

however, if a person is committing an action that is entire immoral, or is a threat to those around them, or, it is directed at one of diluc’s loved ones, any sense of chivalry is gone

he’s on them like a wild animal, sneering through his teeth, and he doesn’t care about consequences

albedo

he isolates himself, becoming a little bitter about the situation, but keeping an air of mystery on how he feels if the perpetrator ever tried to confront him personally; he likes to pretend these things don’t get under his skin

has a distinctly less amount of patience than usual, however

might act a little colder if someone runs that very little patience too thin, to the point he could possibly even snap out or say something cruel

would mostly just prefer to be alone with his emotions at this time

lets out a lot of exasperated sighs if he thinks about it too much or if someone is pushing his buttons

childe

the most wrathful out of everyone here

lets out a lot of bitter, hollow laughs whenever he thinks about it

gets super tense, to the point he needs to work it out of his system, usually through some form of training, exercise, or battle; it gives him too much adrenaline and he’ll become very pent up and frustrated if it is left idle

might let out a growl through gritted teeth every now and then

clenches up his fists a lot and rolls his shoulders back, always with a very harsh grin and narrowed eyes

would definitely rile up anyone he doesn’t like when he’s angry, just to pick a fight or get his blood going

kaeya

if it’s with a person, he likes to just privately garner information about them, observing how they are feeling, and then basically picking apart their psyche in his head and laughing about it to himself while sipping some alcohol

he just thinks they’re sad and pathetic, really, and he revels in it

if it’s in battle, he gets a snarky grin and a wild look in his eyes, biting responses through harsh teeth and sneers

if it’s with a situation, or a set of circumstances, he just gets frustrated and annoyed, sneering a lot and having a disgruntled, revolted look on his face as he begrudgingly deals with it

his patience becomes a little thinner and he gets a little itchy with the sudden heat under his skin

most of the time he finds his anger to be funny, at first, like the person who’s poking at him is just a form of entertainment, a little fun. but then when it’s a bad day or a wrong move, it’s game over

[sh4k-thing]

let me get this right : endogenic systems are systems w/o trauma…..?😀 is that like— possible? /genq guys i’m confused and keep seeing “endos dni” and for a while i read it as ender and i was like wtf but pls guys explain so i don’t accidently interact with blogs i shouldn’t-

(( blogs i think might help so im tsgging @dreams-your-smp @your-local-h0m0 ++ anyine who can help !! pls!!!!!))

[stanfordsweater]

@aftershocked

moving this here because you’ve brought up a TON of points i’d love to dig into and the tumblr reply system is garbage--

(under the cut: much talk of possessive sam vs. possessive dean, benefits of a long-running series, ooc actions vs. consistent characterization)

“they change a lot over 15 seasons but it's consistent enough” i feel like differences and inconsistencies in episodes/writing/seasons are one of the reasons (besides personal preference) that ppl get twisted around when it comes to possessive sam and possessive dean, like it’s easy to focus on one or two things w/o taking larger patterns or predominant characteristics into account.

also it’s easy to focus on like, smth happening a few times that is in contradiction to something that happened many other times, & not want to Deal with the complexities & contradictions—but the complexities are the best part! i’ve seen you talk about it before too, the benefits of a longrunning series where we get to really watch the characters grow from young men to essentially middle-aged,

you get to actually have characters w the kind of multifaceted personalities you’d expect of, like, normal people (just way more fucked up and traumatized). so yeah, dean isn’t always straightforward in the way he’s content with keeping sam with him, and can dip into weird behavior (ESPECIALLY in the sort of parental “i make the decisions around here” sense)—

but his general preference, his base character, does not lean towards possessiveness at all. versus sam, who SEEMS like he’d be more grounded and chill, but is actually the crazy jealous guy. that kind of irony, those kind of subversions, are what make them enjoyable as characters and contribute to why possessive sam is so much fun to explore,

bc you Wouldn’t think he’d be the one who’s jealous enough that even when dean gives sam so much of himself already, sam still wants more. you’d look at him and expect him to be the brother capable of letting go, of being halfway normal, instead of like, sam’s built so much on seeking dean’s approval and lived his life at the center of dean’s universe,

so he’ll reject anything that threatens to change that dynamic. like the contradictions are weird and spicy and i like them a lot and god i love sam’s reactions to benny so much. i’d feel bad bc i really like benny & he deserved better, but it’s too much fun to see how much sam of all people unreasonably, irrationally, illogically hates the guy,

just because he represents someone dean might, might, might possibly actually like more than sam (even though we, the viewers, know that’s impossible). beautiful

--

yes, you’ve hit on so many great points here! firstly, the inconsistencies in characterization: i think it’s very easy to see why people get annoyed by the writing, and i do think it’s occasionally justified; however, i’ve always found it a lot more rewarding to think about it as the same kind of inconsistencies that real people have! sam and dean might make “ooc” decisions and it’s okay because real people do that too, out of anger, resentment, sadness, trauma... it makes sense, to me, that they aren’t the same people they were fifteen years ago. getting stuck in one ‘mode’ of characterization is damaging to an overall reading of the show, but at the same time it’s okay to latch onto one era if that’s what you enjoy. it only bothers me when people take characterization from one era (for example, dean’s ptsd, anger, and jealousy over amelia) and apply it to every version of that character.

dean’s parental sense of possession over sam is one thing i do agree with wrt the possessive dean takes, and i think they’re more memorable for a lot of people because they’re not what you usually see from a family show-- it’s weird for dean to feel that way, and i don’t know if i’ve ever seen that intersection of parental ownership and romantic partner jealousy. it’s important that this comes out when dean is under pressure, not all the time-- AND it’s essential that sam does not cave to this. it gets iffy during dabb era, but i still don’t see sam immediately caving to dean’s demands. a good example is the scene where dean holds a gun to sam in season 15, which i see fairly often as an example of dean demanding obedience from sam... but sam doesn’t cave! and sam doesn’t even flinch, because he’s used to having guns pointed at him, and he knows that no version of dean could ever kill him. dean knows this too, and dean is the one who caves, as per usual. this is only not the case a few times in canon, like season 4, parts of season 7, and season 9, all for different reasons i won’t get into now. it’s remarkable when dean doesn’t go along with what sam asks, which is why it sticks in people’s memories, imo. dean is very loud with what he wants and what he thinks is best, but if sam disagrees he will argue dean around to his point, or he’ll go behind dean’s back to do it anyway (case in point, season 11 with the cage.)

anyway-- “the complexities are the best part!” and “you get to actually have characters w the kind of multifaceted personalities you’d expect of, like, normal people (just way more fucked up and traumatized). so yeah, dean isn’t always straightforward...” TOTALLY AGREE. i love the times when the brothers are making decisions that fandom disagrees with, because it’s interesting. the show is here to provide a compelling story. i’m not going to lie and say i always agree with that story or those choices, but it’s fun for me to try to get into why a character would make that decision, not just rail against it. i like the dudes we have in canon! they’re fun!

this is why possessive sam slaps for me. what you said here-- “sam, who SEEMS like he’d be more grounded and chill, but is actually the crazy jealous guy. that kind of irony, those kind of subversions, are what make them enjoyable as characters and contribute to why possessive sam is so much fun to explore” yes yes yes. 100%. and we see these subversions right from season one! it’s not new that dean isn’t actually the uber-confident womanizing asshole, but if you aren’t paying attention it can sneak up on you, i guess? and sam, who comes across as the level-headed one in common archetypes, the soft-spoken college boy, crashes the impala into a building. in the first episode. and in route 666, he  follows a crazy instinct that is proven correct and saves their lives (because he’s intelligent!) but toys with the chance that it could have failed and killed dean (because he’s reckless!)

the fact that we have all these examples of the ways the brothers fail to fulfill the tropes they would in a less-interesting tv show means that possessive sam makes so much sense. sam is built up as the independent brother, the one who left home, the rebellious one, but he loves his family and he needs dean. he needs him. “sam’s built so much on seeking dean’s approval and lived his life at the center of dean’s universe...” i love the way you put this. sam has had dean’s attention and protection for most of his life, and hell if he’s giving it up now for some two-bit vampire, lol. sam is independent, but like with everything else, dean is the exception. sam’s desperation for dean’s approval and attention is absolutely hilarious in the benny situation, because, like you’ve said before, benny is the least-threatening dude ever. he’s so nice. and the fact that sam won’t rest until he dies is-- well, i’m being a little uncharitable, i don’t think sam wanted benny to die, but he sure didn’t shed any tears over it.

the contradictions are delicious. i do think some of it is that dean gets his friendships fulfilled outside of sam, so sam is in a category all his own, while sam doesn’t have as many relationships as dean does so dean is fills all of his categories. but then again, that isn’t always true. it shifts over the seasons and even through episodes. broad trends!

[dayseternal-blog]

do you know any mafia/spay nh au? 😁😁 thank you in advance!!

I do!  There are many!!  These are two of my favorite tropes to read!!!!!!!!!! 😄😄

NaruHina Mafia/Gangs AU

“When the Devil Picks Up a Stray” by callmesenorita - Rated E, A/B/O Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Hinata, an Omega, questions buried feelings when she decides to help a childhood friend who has adopted a new persona under the name Menma. Although their attraction is instant he is no longer the Naruto she once knew, and soon enough Hinata is thrust into a dangerous yakuza conspiracy. 

“Bound” by suryass - Rated E, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Series of One-shots/Incomplete. Mafia AU-Collection of oneshots.

“July - Movie-Inspired” from “Still Falling For You” by @chloelapomme - Rated T, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Naruto and Hinata peacefully live with each other. Well, almost peacefully…

“Powerless” by @bunny-hoodlum - Rated E for a lot of things like depictions of violence and character death, High School AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. - His family’s past can’t be taken at face-value, and it comes clawing back to hurt him in ways that are out of his control.  DELETED FIC.

“Opposites Attract” by KyuubiLover100 - Rated E, High School AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Citizens of Konoha all know that "The Light cannot exist without casting its Shadow." It's the unspoken system that the city runs on. Everyone knows their place and their roles. Those in the Shadows do what those in the Light cannot. Uzumaki Naruto knows this and has known this since he was young. Hyuuga Hinata knows this as well and understands her Father's wished, but still...

“put on your warpaint” by @borzbois - Rated M, Tattoo Artist/College AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Hinata meets a stranger with beautiful tattoos. She never could have guessed the turn her life would take when she asked to draw him.

“MOB” by @bkgsbby - Rated M (?, I think), Mafia/Arranged Marriage AU, Socmed format, Ongoing. When Hiashi can’t repay the debt he owes Kushina, he offers his daughter instead.

“All Kinds of Wrong” by Kieren - Rated E, Infidelity/Modern AU, One-shot. It was ironic how something so pure had sprung from such a sordid arrangement. They were perfect for each other. But they had met at the wrong time.

“Pink Chiffon” by @scalding-coffee-cup - Rated M, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. During the day, she wears pink chiffon and nude pumps; her glossed lips curve into an innocent smile. At night, she struts down the alleyway in black stilettos and wears a scowl on her red lips. The pistol is her most expensive accessory.

“Molasses” by EroPrincess - Rated E, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Adult film star, Hinata Hyuga, encounters a fledgling underground kingpin, Naruto Uzumaki. Is it possible for a romance to blossom between two people from very different worlds?

“Second Chances” by enzhe - Rated T, High School AU, Multi-chapter, Complete. Namikaze Naruto was abducted, then declared dead. Twelve years after he disappeared, his parents find him: now a scrappy, reckless teenager, with good friends, a lot of trauma, and ties to the murderous, anarchist Nine-Tails gang. As the family tries to put itself together, trust breaks, hurts heal, and the power struggles that led to Naruto's abduction resurface.

“Dirtbags// The Fox” by OwlwaysHungry - Rated M, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Naruto and his friends end up having to work for a notorious drug dealing gangster by the name of Kyuubi after a not so satisfying night out.

“a home is a dream” by girlbaldwin - Rated M, Modern AU, One-shot. Naruto Uzumaki returns home with all the force maelstrom, three days after her husband’s disappearance and six years since she went and stumbled on Neji’s body floating in the creek downtown.

“Gangster AU” from “Tales of Two Ninjas” by @magmawrites​ - Rated M, Modern AU, One-shot. This world is an endless cycle of destruction, no matter how hard you try to stop it and sometimes the innocent get involved in the crossfire.

“What He Wants” by agitosgirl - Rated M, Modern AU, Multi-chapter, Incomplete. Hinata Hyuuga is an average girl struggling, and failing to stay on top of things. But everything in her life changes once she meets a handsome stranger at club. She knows that he wants her, but doesn't realize that he has the power, and the determination to do whatever it takes to make her his, no matter the cost.

Untitled collab w/ @matchaball for anon by @utsus​ - Rated T, Modern AU, One-shot. Prompt: She’s his ace in the cards that no one sees coming (that they honestly should’ve seen) and yes: she dislikes violence.

NaruHina Spy AU

“Made in Heights” by @utsus - Rated E, Modern AU, Long One-Shot/Incomplete. Hinata is definitely skilled enough to infiltrate the highly secured Uchiha party and steal sensitive intel that will save lives.  It’s just a matter of making it out alive.

“Spy AU” from “Tales of Two Ninjas” by @magmawrites - Rated M, Modern AU, One-shot. They were one of the best teams The Agency had ever seen. Until they broke one of their most important rules…don’t fall in love with your partner.

“Lady Usagi” by @mmmbuttery - Rated G, Canon-Divergent AU, One-shot. A quiet girl working in an inn meets a noisy young lord, but all is not as it seems.

Untitled wip by @matchaball - Rated T, Modern AU, One-shot. He will always entrust her to watch his back in a heartbeat.

“Team 7″,  “Team 8″, and “Stellar Interview” by Journalist298 - Rated T, Modern AU, 3 Related one-Shots. Stories of the Konoha Security Agency.

“Reaching you” by Wasabisugar - Rated M, College/University AU, Multi-chapter, Unfinished. As an undercover elite spy with a mission expected to last several years ahead, Hinata is ordered to acquire information from the owner of La Vie Global Resorts - Uzumaki Naruto - surrounding a massive drug deal. However, the man she's met with is nothing like what she expected and she soon finds herself developing feelings for the one person she is set out to expose.

And there’s the one I wrote “Undercover” - Rated E, Canon-Divergent AU, Multi-chapter, Unfinished. Naruto and Hinata join the Twelve Guardian Ninja of the Land of Fire's Daimyo. But not really. Their mission is to smoke out the rat among them who's selling political secrets to insurgents, while making sure the other Guardians don't figure them out. Neither can tell when their acting became so convincing. 

That’s everything I could think of!!!!!!  I worked all night on this omg why 😪 lol It’s because I kept on rereading!!!!!  HOW COULD I NOT WITH THIS GOLD.

PLEASE ENJOY!!!  HAPPY READING!!!!

[thedreadvampy]

one of the areas I get really annoyed about black and white thinking in is uh medication stuff?

like people will either be like MEDICATION IS USED TO SUPPRESS NEURODIVERSITY AND AVOID TACKLING THE ACTUAL ISSUES or MEDICATION SAVES LIVES

and like

yeah

both are true

Medication can make a huge huge huge difference to people's lives. it can make it possible to leave the house and get shit done instead of just sitting vibrating with your own misery. it can and does save lives

h o w e v e r

A lot of mental health systems do in fact jump straight to medication as a first resort and then if it mitigates symptoms, treat the problem as solved. a lot of diagnostics are more about identifying drugs that might work than about tackling underlying issues. most psychoactive medication is highly addictive and all of it has potential side effects and interactions. my partner has been on medication for over a decade, on a constant cycle of newer more hardcore antidepressants, and it was only in the last year or so he's been offered Any Therapy Whatsoever and the therapy he got was unsuitable but 14 sessions still had a more marked positive effect than any of his medication switches.

and saying that isn't to say 'therapy works and drugs don't' it's just that uhhhh. medication is a part of a solution being treated as the whole solution. imo in most cases, particularly with issues often associated with trauma or negative experience like depression, OCD, anxiety, schizophrenia, DID etc, the function of medication is as a sticking plaster to keep you functioning and give you a stable base to start working on longer-term and more holistic solutions (through behaviour adaptation, therapy, and changing destructive circumstances)

When I was severely suicidally depressed, what I needed was a solid foundation from which to access trauma therapy, to get out of my house, to get a job and get out of the constant grinding terror of total poverty, to get out of abusive state systems, to make new friends. Those life changes are the main things that helped me, but for a lot of people medication is a necessary part of creating the foundation to start working towards meeting their more foundational needs. like. you need something to help make brain work before you can even begin to have the energy to engage with the work needed to get to a better place.

and that doesn't mean medication is necessarily temporary. if it's helping stabilise you then it's valuable.

but. like. A lot of the medical approach to mental health is to take that first step (finding working medications) and then step back and say RIGHT JOB DONE. and in that respect it is about a) getting you to shut up and stop Being A Problem and b) putting money into the pockets of pharmaceutical industries. like. Medication is Good Actually but treating it as the whole of the process just. puts responsibility onto the patient when they're inevitably not 100% fine and cured and able to do everything ~as normal~ when they're on working medication.

if your life is still shit, if you're still carrying around unresolved trauma and you have a constant weight of poverty or homelessness or physical illness or an abusive/toxic living situation or you know just the constant crushing misery of capitalism, then it is in fact expected that until your life gets better you're not going to be 100% fine and happy just because you're on meds which address the chemical aspect of your mental health. like. that's not actually your fault. and it can be improved on but it needs to be understood as part of your mental health journey as much as chemical balancing. and there's a big chunk of psychology that is just. very concerned with ignoring those very important factors and fully centring on Your Brain Is Wrong We Can Fix Its Wrongness With Medication.

your body, your brain chemistry, your experience and your environment are all part of a connected system we call mental health and medication can act effectively on brain chemistry but if it's applied alone without equal reference to body health, personal experience and social and physical environment then it's woefully inadequate. and that. is why medicalisation of mental health is a problem. not because Drugs Bad or Drugs Don't Work but because Drugs Working Is A First Not Last Step.