#thanks to that everyone is just like ''yeah he's a clown it just makes sense''

[overchromatic]

Making Will a juggalo is far from my worst art crime, but it's a crime nonetheless.

bonus doodle vvvv

[bijouxcarys]

Prove It (Roman Reigns x fem!Reader)

Masterlist

Description: They work together, they travel together, they're around each other almost 24/7. So, why is it so damn hard for them to be alone when they need it? Oh, that's right... it's a secret.

Warnings: NSFW, MINORS DNI, smut, fingering, dirty talk, semi-public escapades, Roman being a lil menace, secret affairs, fluffy undertones...

Word Count: 4.6k

A/N: I have used everyone's real names (apart from where Sasha references Ambrose). The superstars included are Roman, Becky Lynch, Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose/Jon Moxley, Sasha Banks, and Liv Morgan.

Tags: @trippinsorrows @empressdede @thetribalqueen (if you'd like to be added to the tag list for any future Roman fics, just let me know in the replies/reblog!)

The door to the hotel room swung open, a chorus of laughter and chatter spilling out into the hallway. It had been a gruelling week on the road, and the whole lot of them were ready for some much-needed relaxation. Thankfully, a majority of the rooms down that particular hallway were occupied by WWE Superstars, so noise complaints were a slimmer chance than usual.

Using her and Gionna’s hotel room as a gathering spot wasn’t on Y/N’s to-do list, but when conversation struck up in the car about having a night of relaxation, to let go a little, Gi was more than eager to offer up the room. That was Gi for you; more like her Liv alter ego than even she cared to admit.

Not that Y/N was mad of course; these people were practically family.

“Someone get the drinks?” Gi called out, scrunching her nose up to push her clear-framed glasses further up as she plopped down on one of the beds, her blonde hair splayed out behind her.

“I got ‘em, relax,” Colby replied, holding up two six-packs with a grin. He cracked one open and handed it to her, settling onto the floor next to Jon, who was already mid-story.

“So, there I am, right? Middle of this tiny-ass town, and I can’t find the damn gym anywhere,” Jon was saying, his voice animated. “GPS is telling me I’m there, but I’m lookin’ at a freakin’ cornfield!”

“Classic Ambrose move,” Mercedes laughed, shaking her head as she leaned against the wall. “A terrible sense of direction.”

“Hey, it’s not my fault! Technology hates me,” Jon shot back, taking a swig from his beer.

Leaning over the group from her place on the bed, Y/N accepted a can from Colby, her eyes involuntarily capturing those she knew would be hard to refrain from the entire night. Gazes locked with the man standing just behind where Colby sat, arms folded; his tank top allowed for a perfect view of his tensing muscles under the gorgeous tan of his complexion. It was a look that spoke volumes—intense, secretive, and heavy.

Considering the close-knit nature of the wrestling world, it was an impressive feat that Joe and Y/N had managed to keep their affair under wraps.

“Who knew we’d all end up here tonight?” Mercedes said, her voice cutting through the din as she reclined on the floor, back pressed against the side of Gi’s bed.

“Yeah, thanks a bunch for lettin’ up the room, Y/N,” Becky added, raising her bottle of water in a mock toast.

“Don’t be thanking me, thank Barbie over there,” Y/N nodded towards Gi, who simply shot a thumbs up in her direction as a response. “But yeah, I mean it’s nice to have a moment to just… be.”

“Amen to that,” Joe said, his deep voice rumbling as he grabbed a drink from the pack Colby brought.

Jon snorted from his spot on the bed. “Yeah, because being crammed into a tiny hotel room is so much better than our own rooms.”

“Hey, at least it’s free entertainment,” Colby retorted, tossing a pillow at Jon, who caught it with a lazy grin.

“Free entertainment, huh? Guess that makes you the clown,” Jon shot back, eliciting laughs from everyone.

“Better than being the guy who gets thrown out of bars,” Colby quipped, throwing his arm around Becky with a cocky grin towards Jon. Colby and Becky were truly in the throes of a honeymoon period. It was a task just getting him to own up to the fact that he liked Becky in more ways than one, so when they finally decided to screw everything and officially become a couple—PDA and all—it was a relief. Finally, the two people who practically pined over each other for at least a year, had gotten their shit, and themselves, together.

The night wore on with more stories, jabbing at one and other, and moments over the last week that were becoming fond memories. At some point, pizza boxes were ordered and devoured, and the room’s occupants settled into various positions of comfort—or as close to comfort as they could get in the cramped space. Joe had claimed a spot on the floor near Y/N’s bed, leaning back against the wall with a relaxed posture that belied what was going through his head.

“Man, I could get used to this,” Mercedes said, stretching out on the floor. “Better than passing out alone in my room.”

“Yeah,” Becky agreed, earning an offended glance from Colby. “We should do this more often, is what I’m sayin’, babe, relax.”

“Just as long as he,” Jon pointed directly at Becky’s boyfriend, “promises to keep his snoring to a minimum.”

“I don’t snore!” Colby protested.

“You absolutely do!” Gi pointed out, honestly scaring the crap out of everyone since they all just assumed she’d passed out across her bed.

Y/N found herself increasingly distracted by Joe’s presence. Every laugh, every shift of his body, every low rumble of his voice seemed to pull her attention like a magnet. She could feel his eyes on her intermittently, a silent conversation playing out between them that no one else in the room could hear.

“Y/N, remember that time we got lost tryin’ to find that diner?” Becky asked, breaking Y/N’s reverie.

“Oh my God, don’t,” Y/N laughed, recalling the memory. “We ended up in the middle of nowhere, and you were convinced we were gonna end up on an episode of Unsolved Mysteries.”

“I was being cautious!” Becky protested, lifting her hands up. “You never know with those back roads, they’re frickin’ dodgy!”

“That’s why I always use GPS,” Joe interjected smoothly, and deeply, sending a wave of chills over Y/N’s body, though she did a damn good job at hiding it.

“Excuse me, did I not just tell you about my cornfield trauma as a result of GPS earlier?” Jon called out.

“You made it eventually, man, calm down,” Joe chuckled with a roll of his eyes.

As the night wore on, the energy in the room began to wane. Conversations quieted to soft murmurs and the occasional chuckle, as everyone started to feel the weight of the week on the road.

“Alright, I’m calling it,” Colby said, stretching out his arms and yawning. “I’m too beat to head back to my room. Mind if I crash here?”

“You can take the floor, Rollins,” Jon muttered from his foetal position in the armchair, his eyes half-closed. “Ain’t no way I’m movin’.”

“Yeah, me too,” Mercedes chimed in, curling up in a corner with a pillow Gi threw at her. “Too tired to move.”

Becky looked around at the group, her eyes landing on Y/N. “Looks like we’re all stopping in here. Hope you don’t mind, love.”

“Not at all,” Y/N replied with a smile. “It’s nice having everyone here, and I’m sure that one doesn’t mind.” She glanced over at Gi, who was already on the precipice of slumber.

“It is kinda nice,” Becky nodded. “Feels like a big ol’ sleepover.”

“Except with more muscles and less gossip,” Colby quipped with an amused chortle.

Joe had stuck to the spot on the floor near Y/N’s bed. He glanced up at her as she climbed into the sheets, their eyes meeting once again in the dim light.

As the others began to settle in, finding whatever space they could to lay down, the room slowly descended into a comfortable silence. The soft hum of the air conditioner and the occasional rustle were the only sounds that broke the silence.

Y/N laid back against her pillows, her thoughts drifting. She felt Joe’s presence nearby like a physical touch, a comforting and exhilarating reminder of their secret. She turned her head slightly, catching his eye in the dark.

“You okay?” Joe whispered.

“Yeah,” she whispered back, her lips curving into a smile. “You?”

“Better now,” he murmured, his gaze lingering on her face.

Her pulse quickened. They were surrounded by their friends, all blissfully unaware of the silent conversation happening right under their noses. The thrill of the secrecy only made the moment more intense.

“Think they have any idea?” she asked in a hushed tone, her eyes twinkling with mischief.

Joe smirked. “Not a clue. We’re good at this.”

“Guess we are,” she replied, her heart pounding against her ribcage.

A quiet laugh escaped Joe’s lips, and he shook his head slightly. “You’re trouble, you know that?”

Y/N grinned. “You love it.”

“Damn right I do,” he said softly, eyes glued to her.

They shared a long, meaningful look, the best they could in the limited light. They both knew the risks of being discovered, but in that fleeting moment, it didn’t matter. They were together, and that was enough.

“Night, Y/N,” Joe whispered, his voice barely audible.

“Night, Joe,” she replied, equally as gentle.

With a final lingering look, they both turned away, settling into their respective spots. The room was filled with the quiet sounds of their friends, but for Joe and Y/N, the silence couldn’t be louder.

She woke up around 3am, the room shrouded in darkness save for the faint glow from the streetlights outside. She shifted slightly, trying to get comfortable, when she felt it—his gaze. Slowly, she turned her head and found Joe propped up on one arm with his phone in his hand. His face was illuminated only by the device.

Seriously? You couldn’t have just stayed asleep? She thought to herself, a mix of amusement and frustration bubbling up inside her. Here they were, in a room full of their sleeping friends, with Joe looking like a whole meal doing the bare minimum. The absurdity and excitement was so much for her to handle.

She gave him a pointed look when he finally took a peek over in her direction, her lips quirking up in a half-smile when he noticed she was awake.

“What are you doing awake?” she asked as quietly as she could.

Joe’s lips curved into a slow, lazy grin, with a bashful undertone. “Couldn’t sleep,” he practically mouthed, his eyes glinting with mischief.

“Sure,” she rolled her eyes. “You just want to make this night more interesting.”

Joe shifted quietly on the floor, his movements careful and deliberate. He glanced around the room, ensuring everyone else was still sound asleep, then slowly moved to sit up. Y/N’s heart raced as she watched him, every nerve in her body on high alert.

Sliding onto the bed beside her, he moved with a careful grace that belied his size. The mattress dipped under his weight, and he settled beside her, his body warm and solid against hers.

She bit her lip, trying to suppress a giddy giggle that threatened to escape. “We’re gonna get caught one of these days, you know.”

He brushed a stray lock of hair from her face, his fingers lingering for a moment longer than necessary. “Maybe,” he conceded. “But that’s what makes it fun, right?”

“Oh yeah, tons of fun,” she replied sarcastically. “Nothing like the thrill of getting caught by our friends to spice things up.”

Even the darkness couldn’t prevent her from seeing his pearly white grin. “Admit it, you love the risk.”

“Maybe I do,” she admitted with a gentle sigh, relaxing into his warmth as his hand slid up her arm, leaving a trail of goosebumps in its wake.

They laid there for a moment in the snore-filled room. The tension was palpable, a taut wire strung between them that could snap at any moment.

“So, what’s the plan?” she whispered up at him.

“Plan?” he echoed, feigning innocence. “I was just thinkin’ we could enjoy each other’s company.”

She rolled her eyes, positive that her cheeks flushed a deep pink, and despite the darkness, covered her face with her hand anyways. “You’re terrible.”

“And…? You love it, babygirl,” he shot back, his hand moving down to rest on her hip, fingertips teasing the space between her tank top and her shorts. “Remember that time we almost got caught in the locker room?” he asked with an audible smirk, his calloused thumb tracing circles on her exposed skin. “You nearly blew our cover with that yelp.”

“You’re the one who made me jump!” she protested, swatting him lightly on the arm.

He laughed softly, a rich hum that sent sparks straight to her core. “Sure, blame it on me.”

“You really don’t think anyone suspects anything?” Her question came as a small mumble, lost in the shadow of his form practically hovering over her at this point. And he was so close to her. She could feel light tickles from his beard on her cheek.

“Nah, baby,” he confidently reassured her. “We’re too good at this shit.”

“Famous last words,” she chuckled, though she couldn’t help the grin that spread across her face.

He leaned in closer, his lips brushing delicately against the shell of her ear. “Don’t worry. I got this.”

“Yeah?” she challenged, sliding her hand up to rest on his shoulder. “Prove it.”

With a smirk, Joe shifted, rolling over so he could press his body entirely on top of hers. The bed creaked slightly, and they both froze, glancing around to make sure no one had woken up. Satisfied that their secret was still safe, they relaxed.

“What was that about ‘I got this’?” she lightly scolded, emulating his voice the best she could in her whispered tone.

“Shh…” With that, he pressed his lips down against hers, the hand that rested on her hip coming up to hold the side of her neck. He kissed her with a hunger that spoke of all the nights they had to keep their distance, the desire that had been simmering just below the surface finally boiling over. She returned it with equal fervour, trailing her fingers up to his man bun and feeling where the couple of hours being laid down had taken a toll on its usually pristine quality.

“Take this out,” she mumbled against his lips. “I like when your hair’s down.”

He didn’t need to be asked twice. It was a relief to take it out, to let it fall down and create a protective shield around their faces as he went back in for another kiss. It deepened, tips of tongues prodding against each other until they were fully entwined in an intense dance. Her hands roamed over his broad shoulders, feeling the ripple of muscle beneath his skin, the same way Joe traced the contours of her curves with a reverence that made her feel like a Goddess.

“God, I’ve missed this,” he breathed out in a gravelly whisper.

“Me too,” she admitted.

They were lost in each other, the world outside their bubble of desire forgotten. Joe’s hands slipped under her shirt, the heat of his touch against her bare skin making her gasp softly. He paused, his eyes searching hers in the small beams of light from outside, asking for silent permission.

She nodded, her breath hitching as his hands continued their exploration upwards. He pushed the fabric up, exposing her round breasts to the cool air and his heated gaze. Following the path of his hands, Joe’s lips made a tender journey down her neck, nipping and sucking lightly, before they stopped at her chest. Pressing kisses to her skin. Tip of his tongue tracing slow patterns along it until one of her hard nubs made contact. Thick lips wrapped around, kissing and suckling like he’d never get to again. Branding possession and desire.

“Joe,” she whispered, her voice trembling with need.

“Shh, we gotta be quiet, sweetheart,” he reminded her, words muffled against the supple skin as he moved to pay the same exquisite attention to her other breast. “Don’t wanna wake the others.”

The reminder of their precarious situation only added to the intensity, causing her to unintentionally roll her hips up towards his. His hands were everywhere, mapping her body with a familiarity that was both comforting and thrilling. Her own hands were just as eager, exploring the hard planes of his chest. His heart pounding beneath her palm, a mirror to her own racing pulse.

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured against her skin.

She smiled, a flush of pleasure spreading through her at his words. “You’re not so bad yourself, big guy.”

He chuckled softly, the sound vibrating against her. “Glad you think so.”

Coming back up to her lips, she barely had time to readjust before his long, tepid fingers slipped under the fabric of her shorts and her panties. Another sharp gasp escaped her lips, internally cringing at how loud it was. God forbid, if anyone actually knew what they were doing…

“Easy, baby. Just let me take care of you.”

The pads of his fingers stroked over her slick folds, gently… teasingly. A moan rose in her throat, causing her to clamp her teeth down on Joe’s lower lip to suppress the sound.

“Damn, baby, you’re this wet already?”

“Yes,” she managed to breathe as he pressed heated kisses down the side of her neck. His middle fingers teased the smooth surface of her tiny, sensitive pearl, and she once again was forced to keep her noises to a minimum.

“Good girl,” he praised her efforts, rewarding her by pressing his fingers down firmer, further, until they slipped inside her with a smooth, practised motion.

The sensation was almost too much to bear. She clung to him, her nails digging into his bare shoulders as he began to move, digits sliding in and out in a slow and calculated motion. God only knew he wanted to finger fuck the shit out of her, but he knew that would cause unnecessary noise and a climax too short lived.

“God, how you always feel this good?” he groaned softly.

She whimpered, biting her lip to stifle it. His fingers curled upwards in their movements, pressing closer to her sweet spot. Driving her wild. Coiling her pleasure. Tighter. And tighter.

“Look at you,” he peered over her writhing form in awe. “So gorgeous… so ready for me, huh?”

Her response was a tight grip on the back of his head.

“Tell me what you want,” he whispered hotly against her neck. “Tell me how you want it.”

“M-more…” She pathetically sighed. “Please, Joe…”

He chuckled softly, feeling a familiar twitch between his own legs. “Anything for you, doll,” he obliged happily, fingers picking up speed and his thumb finding her clit easily to glide against it in tandem with the rhythm he had curated on her body.

A gasp, an arch, a flutter around his fingers, and he knew. “Feel that?” he whispered in a seductive, dark purr. “Feel how close you are?”

“Yes,” she nodded. “Oh, God, yes…”

“Atta girl,” he cooed down at her, propping himself up on his arm and pressing his forehead down on hers. “Cum, baby.”

Noticing her characteristic shudder, the way her eyebrows furrowed when a release was approaching, he took the initiative to manoeuvre his free hand to cover her mouth, baring down enough pressure for her to bite onto it as she rippled and arched into him. Her cunt throbbed and tightened around his fingers, and he watched with parted lips as she came so hard.

“That’s it,” he murmured in a soothing rumble. “Just like that…”

As she came down from her high, twitches and aftershock present, he carefully withdrew his fingers. He pressed a soft kiss to her temple, his hand smoothing over her hair. Another kiss came quickly, but not without Joe taking an expert taste of his own fingers, where Y/N’s honey coated him with a thick sheen. She tasted herself as he swirled his long tongue around hers, hand stroking back his hair to thread her fingers through the dark tendrils.

It was almost sad, kissing him in that moment. The way she gripped onto him as though she was solidifying how he felt in her mind, capturing the memory; they never knew the next time they’d get to be together.

“Joe…” Y/N whispered. “I need you… so bad.”

“I know, babygirl,” he sighed, peppering small kisses along her jaw. “But as much as I’d love for you to nut on this dick right now, it might be wiser to wait ‘til I can have you alone.”

She whimpered impatiently, making Joe stifle a laugh by burying his face in her neck. “Don’t make me laugh,” he murmured, clearly grinning.

“I’m not trying to…” she giggled softly, biting her lip. They really just did that, in the same room as their sleeping friends. Damn. “Fuck, Joe, we’re totally gonna get found out soon if we keep this up.”

“Yeah?” he asked, lifting his head to gaze down at her. “Ain’t nothin’ wrong with that, baby.”

“Yeah, I’m sure everyone would love to know that you just fingered me a metre away from their sleeping bodies.”

“They will know if you don’t keep it down,” he chuckled. “That bein’ said, we should probably try and get some sleep, huh?”

Y/N frowned, but reluctantly nodded, knowing he would have to leave her bed and return to his spot on the floor. “Where are we heading in the morning?”

“Uh,” Joe hummed, carefully pulling himself back up into a seated position. “Atlanta, I think.”

“Sit next to me on the bus?” she half-asked.

“You sure you wanna do that? Y’know… considering we’re ‘totally gonna get found out soon’?” He sent her a cocky smirk, silently moving himself back to the floor. She rolled over to the edge of the bed so she could still see him. 

“I don’t care… I’ve missed you,” she told him earnestly. It was true; they really hadn’t seen as much of each other lately, which is ironic when you consider the fact they were currently on the road. It just meant eyes were on them more than usual. 

With an understanding exhale, Joe reached over and held the side of her face, stroking over her cheek with his thumb. “I’ve missed you too, baby.”

“So sit with me tomorrow, please,” she practically begged, leaning into his touch.

“I’m not sayin’ no, am I?” he answered with a soft laugh. “Now, go to sleep, ‘kay? It’ll be more suspicious if we’re both tired.”

“Yes, Dad,” Y/N playfully retorted, rolling her eyes.

“I’ll remind you you called me that, as well.”

“I’m sure you fucking will, Big Dog.”

✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦ . 　⁺ 　 . ✦

Morning crept into the room with the soft glow of dawn filtering through the thin curtains. The peaceful quiet of the night gave way to the gentle sounds of stirring bodies and muffled groans of discomfort.

“Ugh, my back,” Jon complained, rolling over on the cramped armchair. “Why did I think sleeping on here was a good idea?”

“Because you’re an idiot,” Colby mumbled, pulling Becky closer to him. “Pass me that pillow, will ya?” Becky groaned, grabbing the pillow that had fallen off Gi’s bed in the middle of the night, and flinging it back in Colby’s direction.

Gi, still half-asleep, rolled over and bumped into Mercedes, who let out a sleepy groan. “Move over, you bed hog,” she muttered, her voice muffled by the pillow she hugged tightly.

“When did you get there?” Gi mumbled, squinting her eyes as she searched for her glasses somewhere in the bed, realising she must have passed out with them on. 

“When I decided the corner was too damn uncomfortable,” Mercedes bluntly responded.

Y/N slowly opened her eyes, the events of the night playing on a loop in her mind, extended into a pleasurable dream. She sat up, eyes adjusting to the daylight as she surveyed the room. No Joe, just a messy blanket and his balled up jacket from where he had slept. 

“Ahh!” Mercedes let out a yelp as the hotel door began to open, almost hitting her in the process. “Oh, it’s you—what the fuck, man?”

“Sorry, didn’t realise your stupid ass was standin’ in the way,'' Joe's sleepy, but cheery laugh echoed as he emerged, shutting the door behind him. He’d changed his clothes, now wearing his grey shorts and a hoodie, and his hair was back to its pristine nature, perfectly slicked back into a bun.

“Where the fuck did you come from?” Colby strained his neck from the floor to look up at him.

“My room? We have rooms, guys, did you know that?” he nudged Colby with his knee as he attempted to sit up. His next stop was Y/N’s bed, where he placed her keycard down on the table beside it, giving her a small smile. 

“You took my key?”

“I’ve been awake for, like, two hours. Needed to get out for a bit, take a shower, y’know,” he shrugged, sitting down on the edge of the bed to collect his stuff from the floor. He made a point to brush against Y/N’s arm as he did, making her bite back a smile. “You sleep okay?”

“Mhm,” she hummed with a nod. “You?”

“Better than expected,” he said, sending a smirk over his shoulder.

Across the room, Colby struggled to stand, stretching his arms above his head with an exaggerated yawn. “Alright, who’s up for breakfast?”

“Count me in,” Jon said, finally rolling off the armchair and onto the floor with a thud. “As long as it’s not cornflakes.”

Gi sat up, her hair a wild halo around her head. “Can we get coffee first? I need coffee.”

“Coffee sounds so good right now,” Mercedes agreed, brushing her fingers through her hair and rubbing at her neck. “And a chiropractor.”

By the time breakfast was had and everyone had dispersed back to their own rooms, Gi and Y/N started the gruelling task of packing what little they took out of their bags and tidying the room of empty cans and pizza boxes.

“They could have helped us,” Gi sighed as she tried to clumsily shove a pizza box into a trash bag.

“Joe offered,” Y/N shrugged, working on picking up cans and any other scraps of trash. Gi glanced up at her, narrowing her eyes with a cheeky smile.

“Did he?”

Y/N met her gaze, raising an eyebrow at her friend quizzically. “Yeah, he did. But he still had a fuckload left to pack, so I told him we could handle it.”

“Oh,” Gi simply hummed, a grin spreading across her face, unbeknownst to Y/N.

Y/N tried her utmost hardest to avoid eye contact after that, knowing that if she looked at Gi for too long, it would be impossible not to spill everything that happened. And after complaining to Joe herself about the possibility of anyone finding out about them, it would seem somewhat counterproductive and ironic on her end.

When the pair was ready to leave, their WhatsApp group chat dinging with confirmations of the same, Gi leaned over to Y/N as she opened their door.

“Oh, by the way, Y/N, about last night,” Gi started.

“Yeah?” Y/N answered as she shut the door behind them, the two of them now standing in the hallway. She caught glimpses of fresh-faced superstars that weren’t in their room last night, who took more pride in their night routines on the road than anything else, greeting them from afar with a warm smile.

“The next time you and Joe fool about, make sure we’re all actually asleep before you do.”

[mylifeisfruk4ever]

"What the fuck?"

Selina felt that those three words were enough to describe her whole relationship with Bruce Wayne. First as Batman, then as Bruce.

She had thought there might be something between them. Luckily it had passed, and a weird friendship had developed between them. Which might make some people turn up their noses since she was a thief and he was a vigilante but Bruce hasn't been so uptight lately and as long as Selina didn't kill and steal only who deserved it, they were fine.

Still, what the heck?

"Oh, Brucie is growing up," Harley said, all too pleased.

She was upright on the bed, while Pamela sat on the other side trimming her nails, seemingly ignoring the ongoing conversation.

Fuck house arrest for both of them. Why had she accepted? Oh yeah, they were friends.

Alsp, Bruce hoped that with her, Pamela and Harley could direct their impulses towards more correct forms of fighting for their principles, without involving innocent people.

So far it wasn't going to be great, but at least Harley had dumped her clown ex, for good this time, so it was a win.

(Probably more thanks to Pamela than her, but details.)

"Let me get this straight…you, mister, I don't look anyone in the face and if you talk to me for more than five minutes I'll start crying, you want….I can't believe I'm about to say it…learn how to seduce a man."

"Exactly," Bruce replied, as he petted one of Selina's cats.

"Just…why?"

"Who cares?" Harley broke in.

"He finally wants to step outside his boundaries! You have my respect!"

"It's not about going outside my boundaries. It's about planetary security."

"Really?" Selina said, half joking.

"Superman is powerful enough to destroy the planet."

This knocked Harley over, and Pamela finally stopped pretending not to pay attention.

Selina didn't know whether to laugh hysterically or slap him on the head, "Do you want to seduce Superman?!"

"Yes."

"Why?"

"To discover his weaknesses and use them against him when his powers drive him insane."

"Wow, talking about trust issues," was Harley's comment.

"I like to be prepared," Bruce said.

"What did the boy scout do to make you fear that he might become world dictator at the slightest provocation?"

The man pouted adorable, and grumbled. Selina still wasn't an expert at translating each other's mumbling but she swore it was something like smiling too much, and I don't trust him, he's got something to hide.

Harley said, "Isn't Superman having an affair with that reporter? Lois Lane?"

"She is General Lane's daughter. A close relationship is not advisable."

"She seems to know him well. Why don't you ask her?"

"She wouldn't answer me, so as not to betray him. Everyone says he's a hero."

"And you obviously don't believe it," Selina suspected.

"No."

"What makes you think he might be interested in men?" Selina asked him.

Harley laughed, "Cupcake, no completely straight man would wear pants that tight."

"Same conclusion I came to."

Oh good. The fate of the world was entrusted to a pair of tight trousers.

"Besides, I've done some research on him, and I might be his type. At least physically. What I lack is the ability to seduce him to lower his defenses and believe me harmless."

"Ability you think we have?" Selina asked, not sure whether to feel offended or not.

"Gotham is very sexist," Bruce said.

"You did your best to manipulate men who thought they knew better."

Pamela smiled, "I'm liking this one."

“I told you Brucie's one of the good ones,” Harley genuinely smiled as she said it.

"And he's a weirdo, like us."

Selina wanted to moan. This is what happens when you make friends with strange vigilantes. She said, "So Superman has a thing for brunettes. Good to know. Have you thought about what to do in case your brilliant plan fails?"

"It won't fail," he said confidently.

"You don't know," she insisted, trying to give him some common sense. A futile undertaking, it was Bruce she was talking to.

"Superman is overconfident. He will fall into the net."

"Definitely not dressed like that honey," Harley commented, taking a long look to Bruce.

"What's wrong with the way I'm dressed?"

"You look like a creepy stalker," Selina said. Army jacket, hat, scarf to cover her face and mascara for her eyes. Bruce was a walking fashion insult. They're definitely going to have to fix his wardrobe, make him wear things that flatter his body and…

Oh god, she was totally on board with that plan, right?

Read more

[sourcherryandsprinkles]

Hii!! Can I request something based of a scene from season 3 of obx? So basically JJ and reader have been dating for a while and reader finally tells him that she loves him and he replies with ‘thanks’ because he doesn’t know how to act with being loved and reader feels hurt and leaves him alone. They ignore each other for a couple days but both feel bad and it ends with JJ telling reader that he loves her too ?? Hope this make sense 🥹

Request: Hii! Could I request a jj x fem reader with prompts 6 "don't push me away" and 8 "you can't love me". Basically a lot of angst that leads to fluff with jj not feeling like he deserves you.

I think these requests got sent when season 3 came out...I'm so sorry anons

my taglists are here + you can send requests here at any time

—

Late night cuddles were part of your and JJ’s night routine. It didn’t matter if you were outside in the hammock, the pull-out or in Big John’s old bedroom, he needed those cuddles to fall asleep. 

 Fingers entwined in his tousled hair, you playfully twirled a few strands around your fingers as his head rested on your chest. ‘’How do you fall asleep when I’m not here?’’ you mused softly, curiosity tinging your voice.

JJ's eyelids gently fluttered closed, his face painted with contentment as your touch traced soothing patterns. ‘’I smoke,’’ he explained, a sigh of relaxation accompanying his words as if the mere thought of your touch had already begun to lull him into a serene state. ‘’It takes me out like a light.’’ 

It wasn’t true. Nights at the chateau were fine. Your scent lingered in the sheets and on the pillow — and on the shirt you always used to sleep in. On nights where JJ had to go home — home with his father —, these nights were not so great. JJ would lay in his bed and, depending if his father had too much to drink or not, he would get a few hours of sleep or wipe the blood from wherever his fist had landed.

A comfortable silence fell in the room, joined by the occasional singing of crickets outside the window. You found them annoying at first, but you were used to it by now. It was part of the ‘sleeping over at the chateau’ experience. 

Along with the blinding morning sun. 

‘’We should go to the beach tomorrow, catch some waves.’’

JJ hummed. ‘’My board is still at my dad’s though…’’ 

‘’We could pick it up after he goes to work? He works on Wednesdays, right?’’ 

‘’Yeah,’’ he replied, snuggling deeper into your chest as sleep began to claim him. ‘’Let’s do that.’’ 

‘’JJ?’’ He hummed again. ‘’I love you.’’

You felt him stiffen on your chest as the three words left your lips, and for a moment, the world seemed to hold its breath.

‘’Eh...thanks.’’

When JJ fell into a deep sleep, you gently slipped from under him and searched for your pants and shoes. You felt bad for leaving in the middle of the night, but you couldn't wake by his side after he hurt your feelings so deeply. You weren't mad at him for not saying ‘I love you’ back. You understood if he wasn’t ready to say it back, everyone had their own pace, but his response had left a bittersweet taste in your mouth.

It was no news for anyone that JJ was an idiot and he had the tendency of blurting out something dumb when his brain goes into panic, which was probably what happened when you said the three big words. That’s why he always plays clown when things get emotional. 

Guilt filled his guts when he woke up alone in the morning. 

Truth was, JJ didn’t know how to act with being loved. No one ever told him they loved him before. No one ever made him feel like he was worthy of being loved. So he didn’t know how to react to someone telling him they love him…even when the person was the most important in his life. 

A few days later, you were walking down a street when you saw John B. and JJ coming out of the gas station. His blond hair was pushed back under a snapback, just the way you loved. He laughed at something John B. said, then his eyes crossed yours across the street. JJ completely froze. 

Your feet walked before you made the decision and you crossed the street. John B. saw you coming and eclipsed himself, going inside the store to pay for the gas, leaving you and JJ to talk. The latter tried to offer to go instead, but John B. didn’t let him. 

‘’What’s up?’’ 

‘’Really, JJ? We haven’t spoken to each other in five days, that’s all you have to say?’’ 

He looked toward the store and shrugged. 

‘’We have to talk about the other night,’’ you said, bringing up exactly what he didn’t want to talk about.

The words hung in the air for a few seconds until JJ said something. 

‘’I have no idea what you’re talking about. Like you said, it’s been five days since we saw each other.’’ 

You should have known he would play fool, but it won’t get him out of this conversation.

‘’JJ,’’ you said sternly. ‘’I know you hate talking about feelings, but we have—’’ 

‘’You can’t love me,’’ he interrupted, his voice laced with self-doubt, and his eyes filled with disbelief. ‘’I’m just some loser. I don’t deserve you or your love.’’ 

His words hurt like a knife to your heart. 

‘’Don’t say that.’’ You shook your head, reaching for him, but he stepped back. ‘’You’re not a loser, JJ. Whoever said that clearly doesn’t know you. I know you, the real you, and I love you.’’ 

‘’I don’t want you to love me.’’ 

It was at this moment John B. chose to return, forcing your and JJ’s conversation to end. You wanted to glare at the brunet, but your back was to him. Couldn’t he have stayed longer inside the store? 

‘’John B. is back. I’m gonna go.’’ JJ nodded at the twinkie, impatient to get in and drive off. 

You grabbed his arm with pleading eyes. ‘’Don't push me away.’’

‘’We really gotta go.’’ 

‘’JJ!’’

After that encounter, you decided to not go to the chateau for a while. It was more his home than yours, so you didn’t want to be in his space. If he didn’t want to talk to you, fine. No, it wasn’t fine, but what else was there to do? 

Sarah and Kiara were sad to not have you around for cookouts and boat days. They invited you for Pope’s birthday ‘party’, but you saw JJ smiling and having fun in John B.’s backyard and went back home.  

It wasn’t until the annual end of summer bonfire that you saw him again. He was talking with Kiara and Pope, probably telling them some dumb story by the way Kiara was shaking her head in disbelief. Now that you weren’t there, she was the one who had to deal with him. 

A little later into the night, you went to get a refill and bumped into JJ at the kegger. He kindly offered to fill your cup, then asked to talk to you. You followed him down the beach where the waves were crashing on the rocks, the music and voices from the party-ers fading into white noise. 

‘’I want to say I’m sorry. For pushing you away and for being a jerk to you.’’ He kicked his foot in the sand, a fidgeting habit when he’s nervous. ‘’No one ever told me they loved me before and I just— I flipped. You know how I be.’’

You hummed. No one knows him like you do. 

‘’I wasn’t mad because you didn’t say it back.’’

‘’No?’’ JJ raised his eyes to you. 

You shook your head. ‘’I could never be mad at you for that.’’ 

‘’Then why did you leave?’’  

‘’No one says ‘thanks’ after you tell them you love them!’’ 

‘’What was I supposed to say?’’

Truthfully, you didn’t know. 

A more serious expression settled on JJ’s face as he reached for your hand. ‘’I can see how that didn't land right. I’m sorry,’’ he said again. ‘’I'm a fucking idiot for not saying it back.’’

—

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[suffarustuffaru]

why the emilia camp thinks otto is their most threatening member 👍

i see some people being confused on why the emilia camp collectively seems to agree that otto is the biggest threat there for some reason and like. yeah. i get it.

but let me explain real quick why i think it makes sense for the emilia camp to think that :O !!

otto though is disarming because. well okay look at him he doesnt look threatening at all. he has the looks and personality of a wet cat. hes whiny. hes cringe fail. he gets stressed out with paperwork. he looks like you could just smack him around like a bug. he HAS been smacked around like a bug. but that makes him unpredictable because apart from roswaal, he is the Most Amoral one there. you can expect roswaal to be trying some shit, but youd never know when to expect otto is planning something. his moral compass is just “does this benefit me or my loved ones in some way? if not, then its gonna be gone 🥺”.

sure, he does nice things sometimes out of the goodness of his heart. he genuinely means well a lot of the time.

but also then you read the shit hes thinking in his internal dialogue and its like.

“should i go save some girl i dont even know from bandits??? hmm lemme think for a couple minutes. im the only one that can help rn… some guy claiming to be her dad is begging me to help his daughter, but also hes kind of annoying… but i dont even live in this city so why should i help… or Care. actually. but i feel kinda bad about this girl… but also this is gonna put me and my profits in danger… but if i reject helping then im forever gonna be known as the guy who abandoned them and then i wont be able to make any sales in this city anymore :<<<< ……anyway im gonna help them then lol im so smart.” and then he gets captured by the exact same bandits anyway so hes like “well okay now me and this girl might be sold into slavery so i might as well save both of us or ill feel bad ☝️☝️”

(yes. yes this is genuinely ottos thought process if you read through the Otto's Bittersweet Peddling Log side story.)

except all the back and forth Calculation he does in his head Stays In His Head and doesnt match up with his outward appearance most of the time. which means that sometimes his words dont match up with his actions. “dont be surprised if i leave at the first sign of danger,” he says, right after risking his life and writing a suicide note over a dude hes known for like four days. “ahah thanks for giving me a vacation to see my family…” he says, damn well knowing he cant go back home yet otherwise he’ll get sniped by assassins. “im gonna give you some of my own money bounty money to help you BUT BUT BUT DONT THINK THAT IM NICE OR ANYTHING I NEED MOST OF THE MONEY FOR REPAIRS OK YOU CAN ONLY HAVE A BIT :<<<“

this also means that whenever otto says or does something Particularly Questionable, all his friends are still kinda blindsided by it because otherwise otto seems Mostly Fine in comparison to whatever the hell everyone else has going on. hes just a wet pathetic cat of a guy ahah. theres nothing more going on with h—

“if everyone in vollachia dies but rem and natsuki-san live, then we’ve won. if everyone in vollachia lives but rem and natsuki-san die, then we’ve lost.”

um otto can you repeat that. what the fuck did you just say.

otto looks Mostly Normal, Just Stressed Out or Somewhat Chilling the vast majority of the time, and then he whacks you over the head with a steel chair. like can you imagine being garfiel and learning that this pathetic rag of a man is actually pretty brave when it counts. youre like “oh cool lol we kinda beat each others asses and i was Annoyed but now that thats all over i got some newfound respect for you!!” and then you read through his diary and hes got a suicide note in there, which is like. okay fine whatever hes kind of a clown just like my New Captain lol but hes dedicated to his friends, ill give him that. and then a year later you find your now brother figure (whos also lowkey highkey an alcoholic) with a broken hand after punching a wall because he couldnt do his Lets Abandon 50 Million People Plan and youre just sitting there going

and okay dont get me wrong—subaru is Batshit Crazy. in Multiple Incomprehensible Ways. if the emilia camp (or Anyone. At All.) knew about all the shit hes done and been through with rbd, subaru would INSTANTLY be skyrocketing up the Most Threatening People list. but at the same time subarus less threatening than otto in the sense that subarus Always going to want to do good. hes Always going to want to save everyone. hes Extremely forgiving, on top of that. he goes along picking up friends everywhere he goes in his own Incomprehensible Unhinged Way and hes fond of All of them.

otto? yeah his opinion of you could shift on a dime and you could end up in his personal shit list unless youre one of the *checks list* *clears throat* maybe like ten people he cares about. and even if youre on the I Care About You! :) list, he could still get pissed enough at you to, i dont know, punch a wall over you? and spiral into obsession? and even if hes not upset at you hes still gonna mansplain manipulate malewife his way to his goals <33

and yeah of course subaru is also Mansplain Manipulate and Gaslight Gatekeep but at least he has way more good intentions AND his attitude about it is gonna be like "sorry :<<< i just gotta do this for your sake :<<<<<< :((( haha dont worry about it". subaru would never ever want to do anything big to hurt his loved ones (except for rbd). while otto doesnt even bat an eye. everyone can be manipulated if he has to. he goes down his list of Things I Need To Do and goes "yeah that had to be done. oh well. anyway i got more shit to do (like maybe kill a toddler lol)"

also lets talk about roswaal's perspective really quick. post-arc 4 hes like "well subaru-kun is always gonna want to save everyone and hes doing a pretty good job of things in general so whatever lol. i can still keep him in check by killing everyone if even one of his friends dies :)". so its like. YEAH subarus an Unhinged Wildcard. roswaal knows that. but right now subaru is more predictable and also again, roswaal knows he can keep subaru in check by making subaru have to reset if roswaal really needs to.

but otto? yeah ottos second in line for being an Unhinged Wildcard. but whats even worse is that otto is Basically Subaru but More Calculating and with a moral backbone thats Near Nonexistent. roswaal was genuinely concerned for otto in arc 8 for once and there was still Literally No Stopping Otto from being a stubborn little shit whos hell bent on all the maladjusted insane mentalities hes got floating around in his head, half of which he doesnt even say out loud, and all of which he thinks is Completely Right and that theres Nothing Wrong with what hes doing.

and also otto being underestimated and Not In The Tome was a big help as to how subaru got the win over roswaal in arc 4 👍and then otto Continues to try keeping an eye on roswaal after arc 4, to the point of getting roswaal's tome and actively trying to investigate roswaal's actions, so roswaal is Very Aware that otto is. a bit of a threat. roswaal of course is smarter and more powerful than otto though, but that still doesnt change the fact that otto is still capable of being a threat if roswaal doesnt Also kind of keep an eye on otto back. because roswaal kind of lost to otto already in arc 4!!

but okay, on top of all of this, no one knows the full extent of whats going on with otto, not even roswaal (though he has his Suspicions), and most definitely not subaru yet (whos Still a bit of an otto apologist anyway), and otto is already a bit menacing even without knowing All of that. and the rest of the emilia camp are already a bit more lenient with roswaal (as hes seemingly chilled out after arc 4 + they all need him still). that, and you can easily Expect roswaal post-arc 4 to be suspicious and Probably up to something. you wont know what it is, but you wont Exactly be surprised when it happens.

and also roswaal isnt publicly batshit crazy like otto is. otto of course isnt as Openly Weird as subaru, but otto is still Openly Unhinged and Pathetic. just look at him declaring julius and anastasia, HIS CAMP'S ALLIES, as enemies right to their faces alsdfjlsdjfl.

and with subaru, there is Zero doubt in the emilia camp's minds that subaru wants the best for them and everyone around them.

otto though? yeah he also wants whats best for the camp. he Cares about them, he really does. but hes so obviously Questionable by the time you get to arc 8 to the point where the entire rest of the camp starts eyeing him like this:

theres also the fact that ottos dp allows him to have eyes and ears Everywhere so long as he doesnt overuse it. that paired with his Intelligence, Stubbornness, and Lack of Morals or self-awareness/sometimes guilt/regret over his actions is dangerous. theres a reason why gluttony if subaru decided to flood The Entire Surrounding Area Around Otto. the flood took away the potential army otto couldve made out of the animals and allies otto had in the city, and once you do that, whats otto going to do against someone like shaula? all of ottos power regarding his People Skills and Animal DP was stripped away.

but if that Isnt stripped away... well honestly otto can do whatever the hell he wants the moment he figures out a solid plan to try and get what he wants. his biggest ability at the core of what makes him dangerous is his ability to quite Literally be in the background. so long as hes underestimated, so long as he still has secrets, no ones gonna know the full extent of his bullshit!! you cant stop him if you dont even realize what hes going to do, and hes Good at doing that!!

and if gluttonybaru hadnt taken out otto, subaru would be skyrocketing right to the top of ottos shit list after subaru literally just killed All of ottos (and previously subarus.) loved ones. otto wouldnt stop until he figured out how to destroy subaru. its to the point where im pretty sure if otto had to choose between destroying half the world vs kill gluttonybaru once and for all, otto would certainly choose one of those options in a Heartbeat.

anyway. if youre an emilia camp member, and you see the dude whos in charge of the Vast Majority of the factions political affairs, the guy who you Know is very intelligent and competent and determined when it counts, say shit like "if everyone dies in this entire country i wouldnt even give a single flying fuck as long as our friends get back safe and sound :) it would be such a loss if the entire country lived but our friends didnt :<<<" OF COURSE I WOULD BE LIKE YEAH THAT GUY IS THE MOST DANGEROUS ONE HERE. HE HAS THE SKILLS AND THE MOTIVATION TO BACK UP THAT STATEMENT AND I WONT EVEN KNOW WHEN ITD HAPPEN. he also has the Mental Instability to back that up too, given the amount of times he spends drinking and Raging and Being Terribly Anxious over Every Little Thing.

youll be sweating buckets being wary of otto while ottos casually standing there with his wet cat looks and a knife in your back.

and otto has, for the most part, some of the most normal trauma compared to a bunch of people in this cast (not to discount ottos trauma and pain or anything but its true lajdsfls sorry otto. but also im not sorry because arc 5 was partially on you T^T). he doesnt have rbd, he doesnt have some weird family drama bullshit going on like the astreas or emilias family or the segmunts, he hasnt been erased by gluttony, etc etc. but hes still like this. if you put him in subarus position and gave him rbd, he would get even worse than he already is.

yeah so anyway thats my quick rambley psa about why i think it makes sense that the emilia camp's voted otto as the most threatening one there 👍

but the fact that we (the audience) (or at least some of us!!) keep questioning why the hell the emilia camp thinks otto is the biggest threat there is means that otto's funny silly guy image is. Kind of Working??? just a little bit.

because. granted. of course i think subaru is easily the most threatening person there with both His Flavor of Insanity and rbd. subaru is an eldritch horror in every single way. but at the same time - hes an eldritch horror who thinks friendship is the best magic of all T^TT !!! he FORGIVES PEOPLE WHO'VE KILLED AND TORTURED HIM. hes not threatening in this sense - the fact that hes kind of just way too nice in this sense!!! granted yes, he IS abusing rbd and Terrifying and Threatening in a multitude of ways, but i'd rather take my chances with mainbaru over main otto right now HAH T^TT at least subaru will apologize and start bawling his eyes out if he stabs some random innocent civilian and stranger in the gut for Some Necessary Reason!! otto would feel a bit bad and then completely Eradicate that feeling of guilt with "i had to do it. it was them or me so no regrets <3".

because otto..................... yeah otto is the Worlds Most Pathetic Yandere to his whole camp.

[tabl3]

ef incorrect quotes 2

skylar: What is everyone for Halloween? oliver: I’m superman. kaz: A clown. skylar: So I’m guessing we don’t need to get you a costume then?

-

kaz: Why are you smiling? bree: What? I can’t just be happy? skylar: chase tripped and fell in the parking lot.

-

kaz: What are you eating? oliver: You wouldn't like it, it's really salty. kaz: I like you, don't I?

-

chase: Don’t weep for the stupid. You’ll be crying all day.

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chase: I don’t think the therapist is supposed to say ‘wow’ that many times during their first session with a client, but here we are.

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kaz: I’m sorry for being annoying. kaz: It will happen again.

-

bree: kaz… I’m bleeding… kaz: Oh god… what’s your blood type?! bree: B positive… kaz: I’m trying to but you’re bleeding-

-

at 3am oliver: runs into skylar’s room and turns on the light Wake up sleepyhead! skylar: wakes up Dude! oliver: cackles bree: sits up from where she was sleeping behind skylar What the fuck, oliver? oliver: jaw drops Wait WHAT-

-

oliver: You are a solid 11/10. kaz: Aw, thank- oliver: Which is 1.1 because you look like shit.

-

chase: Why do you let me win when we race up the stairs? You’re the faster one. kaz: Erm… it’s nice see your smile when you win! later chase: He's probably just staring at my ass, isn't he. skylar: Yeah, probably.

-

(literally the first two books in the series (he was so unhinged 😭😭))

chase: Why don't I like this person? kaz: I don't know. Maybe it's because she keeps stealing your thunder. chase: Maybe it's because her name is "skylar". Don't you find that utterly ridiculous? kaz: No. chase: That's because your name is "kaz".

-

(The Trio That Always Accidentally Gets Into Shit In The Fillers™)

chase: I have a bad feeling about this, guys. skylar: Oh don’t worry, you’ll be fine. kaz: Yeah, what’s the worst that could happen? chase, being bailed out of jail the next morning: I hate you all.

-

chase: We'll talk about this later. oliver: Fine, I won’t be listening.

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chase: Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake. bree: You are literally making a Valentine’s day card for kaz. chase, pointing his hot glue gun towards bree: You’re on thin fucking ice.

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chase: I left instructions for everyone while I'm gone. kaz: Mine just says "kaz no." chase: I want you to apply it to every possible situation.

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kaz, hungover: Please tell me I'm imagining that I claimed I was king of the ducks. oliver: I would, but then I would be lying to the King of All Ducks.

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skylar: Any idiot would know that. kaz: I knew that! skylar: See?

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skylar: Advice of the day kids, if you ever meet someone who calls Gatorade flavors the actual name of the flavor instead of just the color then they are a certified nerd. oliver: Yeah but you have to specify, frost glacier or cool blue? You can’t just say blue because there’s more than one blue. skylar: Blue and light blue, nice try nerd.

-

skylar: My aesthetic is "would be suspected of witchcraft by small town citizens."

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bree: Ah shit, I forgot. kaz: Forgot what? bree: How do you expect me to answer that?

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chase: I feel like doing something stupid. kaz: I’m stupid, do me.

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oliver, writing in his diary with a glitter gel pen: I'm losing my sense of humanity. Nothing matters. God is dead. There's blood on my hands.

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bree: How do you type so fast? oliver: Anxiety.

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kaz: Why doesn’t chase find me sexy when I bite my lip? bree: What do you look like when you bite your lip? kaz: bites lip bree: …Have you considered biting your bottom lip instead?

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bree: All in all, a 100% successful trip. oliver: But we lost kaz. bree: All in all, a 100% successful trip!

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chase: Why are you guys acting like this? kaz: Oh, we're not acting. We really are like this.

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kaz: One time I went to hand oliver a bowl of soup. I wanted to say “Careful, it’s hot!”, and “Here’s your soup!”, so instead I blurted out “Careful it’s soup.”

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chase: bree, you’re in charge! kaz: bree, can we start a fire?

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kaz: holding a salt packet It’s just a little sodium chloride. chase: Actually kaz, it’s salt. kaz: That’s what I said, sodium chloride. chase: Uh kaz, that would be salt. chase: takes salt packer from kaz This is iodized table salt, which in addition to sodium chloride contains anti-caking agents and potassium iodate, which is added to prevent iodine deficiency. So not only are you being overly pretentious by insisting on using scientific terminology for everyday items, you are factually wrong. Your arrogance is your downfall, you annoying little shit.

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bree, Entering oliver's room: kaz did it again. oliver: Peace disturbance? bree: What no- oliver: Arson..? bree: NO, JESUS CHRIST, HOW MANY- oliver: uh….Attempted murder? bree: NO, HE ATE ALL THE FOOD IN THE FRIDGE, BUT WHAT THE FU-

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kaz: Good news! I didn’t screw up! chase: … kaz: I screwed up less badly than usual! chase: … kaz: Screwed up with less immediate consequences than usual.

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oliver: What’s sexting? bree: I'm not having this conversation with you.

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Everyone is giving advice to oliver chase: It's okay to ask for help. skylar: You're not a burden. bree: Murder is okay. kaz: Your feelings matter.

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oliver: Alright, what pizza toppings should we order? kaz: Anchovies and pineapple. skylar: I like beets! chase: Have you guys ever had a cheese-less pizza? oliver: I’m disowning all of you.

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bree: Where’s my chair? skylar: kaz broke it over oliver’s back while they were wrestling. oliver: Correction, kaz was wrestling. I was eating soup.

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oliver: Sorry it took so long to bail you out of jail. skylar: No, it was my fault. I shouldn't have used my phone call to prank call the police station.

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chase: We have to plan, we have to figure something out. bree: chase, when have any of our plans ever actually worked? We plan, we get there, all hell breaks loose.

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chase: Dearly Beloved, we are here today to remember kaz, taken from us in the prime of life; when he was crushed by a runaway semi, driven by the Incredible Hulk. kaz: Aww, you knew my favorite cause of death.

-

bree: wow you and skylar are home early from the movies. What happened? oliver: We got kicked out because skylar wouldn't stop yelling diving scores as people jumped off the titanic. skylar: That last guy had a solid 8, I'm telling you!

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skylar: People always shoot down my ideas and I’m sick of it. Two sentences in and everyone’s always shouting “what the fuck? that’s illegal!” and “you can’t do that!”. Like, c'mon, let me talk!

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oliver: Can I get a waffle? bree and kaz: fighting and yelling at each other oliver: Can I p l e a s e get a waffle?

-

chase: What did you two do? kaz: oliver: chase: You’re not in trouble, I just need to know if I have to lie to the police again or not.

-

kaz: Okay. Hypothetically speaking, how mad would you be if I burned a hot pocket so badly it could probably fall off a ten-story building and be completely fine? chase: kaz, what did you do? kaz: Take a guess.

-

skylar, holding out a cookie for bree: Look! This one's a heart, that’s how I feel about you! bree: Ugly crying skylar, holding out another cookie for oliver: This one's like Michigan, that’s how I feel about you! oliver, throwing his hands in the air: What does that mean?!

-

kaz: Hoodie pockets are so great. I can fit like three sandwiches and a grenade in there and my hands are still warm.

-

kaz, texting chase: sends a voice message chase, texting back: I’m a little busy, is it urgent? kaz: No, don’t worry, just listen later. later chase: presses play kaz's voice message: THERE’S A FIRE-

-

bree: “I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy” I would. Pussy. bree: “I’m not gonna sink to their level” I will. Coward. bree: “I’m the bigger person” I’m 5'2 tall give me the gun bitch.

-

(more short jokes)

The Squad: walking at the mall chase: Hey, have any of you guys seen bree? She's been gone for a while.. oliver: Eh, nope. skylar: No, I haven’t… kaz: Probably ran off to McDonald’s or something. bree: Hey. chase: Ooh, there you are- oliver: What the fu- kaz: I- where were you?! bree: Walking right behind you guys.

-

Kidnapper: I have your partner. kaz: What? I don't have a partner… Kidnapper: Then who just called me a lowlife bitch and spit in my face? kaz: Oh my god, you have oliver.

-

bree: I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than fuck.

-

skylar: What's worse than a heartbreak? kaz: Waking up in the morning and your phone wasn't charging. bree: Waking up in the morning. chase: Waking up.

-

chase: Look, skylar, if you can fit your head down the gun’s barrel, you can assume it doesn’t have a non-lethal setting.

-

chase: You have to apologize to oliver! bree: Fine! bree: Unfuck you, or whatever!

-

kaz: is visibly upset oliver: kaz, what happened? I haven't seen you like this since you found out candyland wasn't an actual country.

-

skylar: I'm not straight, and that's all that matters. Well, maybe that's unfair to the straights. Some of my best friends are straight! Well, one of them. Well, I know him, and oliver is perfectly tolerable person in small doses!

-

chase: I am the left brain, I am the left brain. "I work really hard until my inevitable death" brain. You've got a job to do, you better do it right and the right way is with the left brain's might. skylar: I LIKE OREOS AND PUSSY-

-

kaz: You know, when I first met you I thought you were a real bitch. bree: What changed your mind? kaz: Oh, I still think you're a bitch. I've just grown to like that about you.

-

chase: I am strong! I beat oliver at arm wrestling! kaz: Anyone can beat oliver at arm wrestling! oliver: Hey-

-

chase: oliver, I sense hostility. oliver: Good, because I hate you.

-

oliver: I have a bad feeling about this… kaz: What do you mean? oliver: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble? kaz: No? skylar: That actually explains so much.

-

kaz: I just wanna be called cute 21/7. chase: Why no 24/7? kaz: Snack breaks.

[enamoredwithbella]

PJO TV CRIT RANT COMING !!

If you don’t want to hear or don’t like it just don’t read it. Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion

-

I’ve been on the pjo tv crit tag and I gotta say I agree with most of what’s on there 😭😭

All my praise for the show goes to the actors alone. I’m not stupid I didn’t expect the show to be an exact replica of the books cause that would’ve been boring as well but I feel like say “faithful adaptation” is a bit overzealous.

1. The changes

Some of the changes I love. Like them stopping for candy and Annabeth going in was so cute. Grover using psychological warfare on the God of war ate.

But a lot of the changes were just like ???? What was the point? And all the stuff that they revealed like 4-5 seasons too early. Stuff that was hinted at through the books that built suspense and intrigue just dumped on the table was a bit 😕

I remember finding out about Luke’s mom and why Luke REALLY hated his father. It literally had me gagged it was like finding out something I didn’t even know I was waiting for. The build up to them finding out Kronos involved was always a favorite cause it felt so raw. It was pure fear encapsulated by words, you could feel it, it was palpable and we just didn’t get that in the show. It was so “here you go. Kronos it was him *but said intensely*”

2. Them knowing everything

I do understand how it does make sense that they would know a lot of things from the jump as they all literally grew up with this information but a lot of the times where they didn’t realize exactly what was happening right away in the books have a slight reminder of how young and innocent they are. These neurodivergent 12 year olds who have been tasked with a Gods job and have been trekking across the states for days; yeah I wouldn’t expect them to be at the top of their game ALL THE TIME no matter how smart they are. The slip ups show that even though they’re these tiny warriors they aren’t immune to being a little naive.

3. Setting

I’m not gonna criticize the settings cause if that’s how Rick imagined it then that’s how he imagined it but I can’t blame the ppl who are a bit miffed at how the sets were portrayed. The underworld did truly throw me off.

4. Info dumping ?? Or not enough info idk

I also saw a post about how they would just throw random names out there pertaining to Greek mythology and then just not explain 😭😭 and all the stuff that they left out too (fields of punishment, isle blest, etc) which sets up for things in later seasons. And I understand the time crunch; 8 episodes 40 mins give or take and a dream is what they had. That being said this shit was a mess 🤷🏽‍♀️😭😭 like badly set up, script was not doing them any justice, and it felt so boring most of the time.

5. Whimsy and fun erasure

There were gems I will keep saying that. There were fun times but the fun times also felt very strategically placed whereas in the books it was sorta woven into the chaos. Charon being a lil silly, Grover playing the shooting game in the lotus casino and killing humans (I love him so much 😭😭), annabeth geeking over the architecture of the arch and going on a tangent about how it was made while Grover and Percy trade candy in the back. Talking to the animals and Percy finding out he can speak horse, the car wash where annabeth scares off a grown man in a Lincoln, “shows over! Thank you and goodnight!”, Percy and Grover clowning annabeth for watching the discovery channel unironically. I’m not saying I expected them to put all this shit in there cause again I’m not an imbecile but the type of wit and humor that made everyone fall in love with the books was cut out for the more serious stuff. And what’s so frustrating about that is I KNOW the actors would’ve ate it up. Walker especially that boy IS Percy.

I could keep finding stuff but I’m trying to be grateful cause even after all of this Rick did take the time to try and think of us and maybe it’s not his fault but idk it’s just a bit disappointing after the way it was marketed towards long time fans

Much love to Walker, Leah, and Aryan and hope for future seasons 😊

[kpchrs]

I think between shippers (and this is me saying this, an outsider to both ships) there’s Def the nagging voice saying “Coriolanus sucks irl” in everyone’s mind

So that’s Def a part of the civility in my opinion. Like why fight when the main guy in your ship is the worst guy alive. Bonding moment IG lol

LMFAO You are so right, Anon. Bonding moment for real. As some people in the post's comment said, "we both share the toxic blond" and also "we're trauma-bonded".

But I think it's not really a nagging voice. We all know Coriolanus Snow fucking SUCKS. If you compile all of my thoughts about him from everywhere, the majority is me clowning on him actually. I want to do violence to him.

It's funny, and I'm sorry for the out of topic, but this...wish makes me fantasising about a "Coriolanus Snow & Conscience!Reader" Crack AU. I've told some of my friends but just for fun I will tell a little bit here:

Okay, the premise is right in Chapter 1, we the readers/the fans whatever you wanna call us, get inside his head and it's up to us to try to put him on a good(?) path. (Emphasis on TRY.) Or actually, it's just an excuse or catharsis for us, especially me, to clown him in his head tho, because his thoughts are so deranged, yeah? It will be fun to mock him, tease him, and "scold" him, and we will bicker a lot, and he can't do aaanything about it.

So it's like this (below has some real excerpt of Chapter 1 of the book [page 3-4] but switched to present tense):

This morning he went to her room at daybreak, only to find both his cousin and the shirt missing. Not a good sign. [...] He thinks of people putting a price on her. With her long, pointed nose and skinny body, Tigris is no great beauty, but she has a sweetness, a vulnerability that invites ab-- NOOOOOOOOO! WHAT ARE YOU SAYING ABOUT YOUR OWN COUSIN?! The voice -- scream -- comes out of nowhere and echoes very near in his ears (inside him?). To say it surprises Coriolanus is an understatement. Grabbing on air, he fails to stop himself from slipping and falling on his bottom.

Lol.

I'm not sure I want to write it because writing, even more in English, is daunting, but it's really fun to think about. It will be on the Snowbaird route, though. I imagine we will follow his love story with Lucy Gray, but I think...we will unfortunately fight over her.

LOOK! At Lucy Gray's arrival, The Voice screeches annoyingly loud in his head. It's my girl! Even after weeks, Coriolanus still hasn't decided if The Voice is a crazy part of him or an entirely separate entity somehow attached to his mind. However, the possessive term it used tugs the wrong string deep in his chest. Whether it makes sense or not, he hisses at it, 'She's not your girl.' The brief silence that follows is the most peace he gets these recent days. Oh shit, you are jealous. 'I am not.' You totally are. Just like with Billy Taupe. C'mon, I'm inside your head. I know. 'I am not.' Listen, Coryo-- 'Stop calling me that.' --just accept that Lucy Gray is everyone's girl, okay? She's my girl. She's not really just yours. 'Who in the Gem of Panem is everyone? Who even are you?' I can't tell you that. It's against the rules. 'What rules?!' Uh-uh, still can't tell. Give it up already, Coryo. Coriolanus is losing his mind. He has had a talking creature inside his head for weeks and it is just now he truly feels he is losing his mind.

Lol. Writing is hard, huh. Okay, I'm not sure this is categorised as a character & reader fic now that I used third person, not second person pov, but eh xD

I'm willing to talk about it more though, if anyone is interested!

Thank you for the ask and the space to bullshit, Anon!

[kinokoshoujoart]

hello hello i just wanted to say i love your rock art and you're hilarious and i have a question.. apologies if you've explained this somewhere before but i'm curious if you believe rock was adopted (and along with that, what's going with the picture of the child who is not rock and does rock dye his hair, etc.) and what other rock headcanons you have that you haven't shared yet, if you're willing to share them. (also thank you for doing the 30 days of hm challenge--it's making me so happy to see your daily rock art)

woah i’m so happy you like my art!!! thank you so much for the ask <33 i’m having tons of fun doing these challenges too! thanks for making em!

ohhhh man the adoption theory… i’ve been trying to get to the bottom of this for so long, this answer might get pretty long sorry about that. i’m really glad you asked so i have an excuse to talk abt it :D

⚠️spoilers / taking clown man seriously warning⚠️

i’m thinking rock was first designed as a guest at the inn, but that late in development the connection between him and tei+lou was added

looking at the concept art for tei, his bio says 「元旅人だったせいか、ナミやロックのような人物を好んで泊めるようだ。」 which roughly translates “perhaps due to being a former traveler himself, he seems to enjoy hosting people like nami and rock” uh... hosting, huh? travelers, huh?

tbh rock’s original concept art/description feels to me like. he was meant to be the annoying trust fund kid prodigal son who is blowing his rich parents money to travel on the longest vacation in the world. and everyone responsible for creating this character hates him so so so much

so i think some of the Themes about rock were unintentional at least for the first game, but were rolled with for anwl with the total revision of his character + addition of his heart events and rival heart events. especially with his 2nd rival event with lumina, ESPECIALLY with the ingame rumor lumina isn’t actually related to romana

the photo was there from awl though… so maybe the idea was meant to be hinted at in awl

stuff that makes little sense to me if rock was their son—going from well-tread to lesser tread:

shares no physical features with them aside from having darker skin tone than most of the cast

rock even brings up the fact that he looks nothing like his parents just to get defensive and say it’s none of anyone’s business

does not speak like either of his parents. more apparent in jp. he sounds. “trendy” (he tries)

tei and lou didn’t design the inn with a room for a child… his ass is NOT supposed to be in that room!! it’s for van!!

rock remembers moving to the valley for the first time but there’s not even a hint he was part of their travels, even though tei/lou were traveling until reaching the valley (you’d think rock’d jump at the chance to brag about being well traveled)

the inn is older than the farm your dad and takakura started but rock says he never met your dad (lou and even lumina did meet him)

we can now actually look at all the photos in the inn of tei and lou and their travels, none of them have rock in them.

which brings me to the infamous photo…

other than the fact it isn’t rock, we don’t know anything for sure. both the original and remake have scenes where tei talks about this picture (strange hoe / blessed milker) but he never acknowledges the kid in the photo at all, just talks about the country they visited. it’s bizarre.

the jp flavor text when examining the picture says 「夫婦ふたりの間にうつっている小さな男の子はロックではないようです…」— “It seems that the little boy between the couple is not Rock…”.

there’s a ton of room for guessing, but personally i hc they lost a child. based on what i can see of the picture, the kid has the same hair color and skin color as tei and lou, and a similar build to them…

taking into account that rock dyes his hair, rock’s / his kids’ natural hair color is actually the same exact hex color code as cecilia’s…

if the fact that he dyes his hair is meant to say he’s their son, his natural hair would be black, yeah? but instead it’s cecilia brown

rock’s son also is described oddly specifically as “looking exactly like a small Rock”. you know who doesn’t look like rock’s kid? the kid in the photo :(

funny enough even in anwl it never occurred to me that rock was a natural blond. his eyebrows are dark and … damn those roots. i guess i just assumed he was dyeing his friggin toddlers hair

i also hc they’ve known rock longer than he’s been part of their household, and that he’s either the child of a friend they traveled with in the past or a kid they met in the “country far to the south” they traveled to a long time ago. he reminded them of their lost kid in some way

phew i hope that wasn’t too long… i’ll end on some

lighthearted rock hcs :D

i don’t want to overwhelm anyone so this isn’t all of them… haha…(makes the most overwhelming post ever as a devious little trick)

thank you 4 reading this far :3 please take my OH DEAR GOD WHY WOULD YOU DO THIS WHY WOULD YOU MAKE ROCK REAL wip as a little treat

since he says he’s an “earring and tattoo” kind of guy in anwl. he has a shitty misspelled hidden tattoo that says something like “never don’t give up”

the answer to rock’s question about why there’s no record player at the inn is because he literally yeeted records like frisbees as a kid

similar explanation as to why the guest beds are blocking both balcony doors. they literally had to rockproof the inn

moved out to live independently as soon as possible without any planning, proceeded to get fired and banned from every workplace in the world (failed salaryman)

surprisingly good vocabulary, piss on the poor reading comprehension though

his stash is in the statue in front of his southern window

[gayuu-the-necromancer]

Chapter 6

Exclusive Contract

Victor: "From this day onwards, you are the Crown's exclusive 'Fairy Tale Master."

Kate: "Fairy Tale Master....?"

Tall young man: "....What?"

Victor: "I created this position just now. I've been wanting to write down your spectacularly evil deeds for some time now."

Victor: "Kate will live in this castle from now on and work with the members of the Crown."

Victor: "The Crown members can monitor her to make sure she doesn't divulge any secrets."

Victor: "In the meantime, I want Kate to write down how the members do their evil deeds like writing a fairy tale."

Victor: "It will be a valuable source of research on the cursed ones and a report on the Crown's activities to her Majesty the Queen."

Aloof man: "....Haa, you're just trying to force her to write these reports because you can't be bothered to do it, right....?"

Victor: "I knew it would be my greatest idea! Now that we've decided on that, I'll give you a tour of the castle."

Kate: "W-Wait!"

(Looks like I escaped from being killed, but I need to make an important decision)

Kate: "One month. If I can fulfill my role as 'Fairy Tale Master' for a month and still keep your secret, then...."

Kate: "You will release me right?"

Victor: "....."

William: "Fufu....that's unusual Victor. It's amazing to see that you're not amused for once."

William: "Okay, Kate. If you want to live for one month, then sure. After we're convinced that you're trustworthy, we will willingly release you."

William: "Have a notice sent to her Majesty about her one-month employment."

William: "Okay, Victor?"

Victor: "....Yeah, of course, Will."

(....Thank god. At least I can still keep my head on my neck....)

(If I keep their secret for a month....then I can go back home safely)

(And I also have to record the crimes of these men)

William: "Now, it would be inconvenient if you didn't know everyone's names. Come on, everyone. Introduce yourselves."

Man that looks like a cat: "Okay Okay, me first!"

(...Um?)

I suddenly feel a sense of déjà vu as if I've seen him step out onto the stage and dance.

Kate: "Wait, I think I know you....Oh!"

(This guy is the....stage actor from the play I went to see last month!)

Liam: "Oh, you know me? I'm happy. I'm a stage actor in the front and a clown in the back. My name is Liam Evans."

Liam: "Nice to meet you, sweet little Kate."

With a light wink like twinkling stars, Mr. Liam leaves a tingling kiss back of my hand.

My heart, which had been stiff with fear and anxiety loosens slightly.

(I thought all 'Crowns' were aristocrats, but seems like they're not)

Kate: "Nice to meet you, Mr. Liam."

Liam: "Just call me Liam. No need to be formal with me. This is my buddy, Harry---"

Harrison: "I'm not his buddy....my name is Harrison Gray. Harry or Harrison, call me whichever you want."

Kate: "Nice to meet you, Harrison."

Harrison: "If I tell you I have the curse of a lying fox....do you think I'm lying or I'm saying the truth?"

Harrison smiled thinly, his light milky hair fluttered and a scent of mint tickled my nose.

Kate: "....I think that it's true."

Harrison: "Hmmm, you think, huh?"

If this were a street corner there would have been screams from the ladies at the streaming eyes being thrown at them.

Harrison: "You're the one who has to answer that question, and you got a month to do it."

(...You are kind of an elusive person. I can't read your emotions at all)

(I'm sure he's extremely popular though....)

Alphonse: "I am Alphonse Sylvatica. We're next in line to greet you."

Alphonse: "I'm looking forward to playing with a cute young girl like yourself for one month...."

(Hm? Play with me....?)

Alphonse: "This here is Count Elbert Greetia. He considers me as his friend cum aide."

Elbert: "......Elbert.....Nice to meet you."

Kate: "Mr. Alphonse and Master Elbert. Nice to meet you too!"

Elbert: ".........Al, is she beautiful?"

(Hm!?)

Alphonse: "Yes, but not as much as you."

Man with a gun: "Come you, guys. Don't be rude in front of a young lady."

(Well, it's true, there aren't many more beautiful people in the world than Elbert)

Roger: "I'm Roger. I used to be a doctor. Good for you, young lady. Looks like there is time for you to get to know us a little better."

When I braced myself for the ferocious smile, Mr. Roger's eyebrows raise as if he was amused.

Roger: "We'll be seeing each other for one month now. So let's get along....okay?"

Kate: ".....Yes. Mr. Roger."

(Now, the next in line for introduction is...)

Chapter 7 - Villains

[reigningqueenofwords]

Charlie Brown

Word count: 1,207

Read on AO3

Part 7 of Looking for the Captain

Steve had actively avoided Bucky when he got back. He didn’t want to get into it with him at the moment. So, he asked JARVIS where his best friend was as soon as he got back. Knowing he was with Tony in Tony’s lab made it really easy to just not go there. Wondering how things were going with you, he made his way to the kitchen. 

As he neared, he was amused at your choice of music. Once at the door, he realized you were also singing along. The music sounded really…old. Not him old, however.

Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown

He's a clown, that Charlie Brown

He's gonna get caught, just you wait and see

(Why's everybody always pickin' on me?)

You were dancing around and singing, making him not want to bother you. He simply leaned on the doorframe to watch. It was obvious you were really enjoying yourself. 

You’d been surprised when JARVIS started playing music from well before you were born, but didn’t argue. It had a good beat, and it didn’t take you long to start dancing around and singing along. A lot of the songs had been added to your new playlist, and you planned to look them up later. You were really curious when these came out! 

Feeling eyes on you towards the end of Charlie Brown, you turned and let out a small scream before you realized it was Steve. “What the hell?!” You managed. “JARVIS, you can st-”

“You don’t have to stop on my account.” Steve grinned. “And what are you listening to? It’s not my kind of old, but I know it’s old.” 

You blushed slightly. “I’m not sure. I just told JARVIS to play something fun and upbeat, something I probably haven’t heard before.” 

“That was Charlie Brown, by the Coasters, Miss.” JARVIS informed you just as it ended. 

“Add it to my playlist? Thank you.” You went back to finishing up lunch. “Did you need something? Lunch is almost done.” You told Steve. 

“Just wanted to see how lunch was going, and to ask how things went with Buck.” You both had strong personalities, and it was clear you butted heads. He moved to lean on the counter, watching you move around. 

“Not well.” You chuckled. “I think he forgets I’m an adult.” Which was really annoying. 

“How so?”

You quickly explained what happened. “So. Yeah. He didn’t like the idea of us dating, didn’t like what I wore to the club, didn’t like me wanting to leave with that guy…but he’s really hung up on us.” 

Steve nodded a bit. “He’s not wrong. I am a lot older than you.” He pointed out. 

“You were also on ice for 70 years, so you’re really not that much older than me.” You shrugged a shoulder. “And you’d think he wouldn’t mind as much because he knows you. He knows you’re a good guy. Wouldn’t he want me with someone that he can trust?” That made the most sense to you. “Instead of just some guy who could turn out to be abusive, or just a bad person?” 

“You’ve thought about that, haven’t you?” 

“Not until he pointed out the age thing, honestly. Before that it never even came to mind. You’re just Steve to me.” When you looked at him you didn’t see him as Captain America, your father’s best friend, or someone born in 1918. “The guy who helps me study, keeps me company, and makes me laugh.” 

He didn’t know how to respond. He was torn. You were Bucky’s daughter, but neither of you had seen Bucky in years. Bucky hadn’t raised you, and Steve didn’t know you as a child. Surely that changed things. He watched you easily work on the last touches of lunch. “Can we talk later?” He asked, wanting time to think things through. “Maybe after dinner?” 

“Yeah, we can do that. Meet in my room with some ice cream? We can put on a movie, too.” That way if Bucky came to “check” on you, he’d see the two of you watching a movie. 

He smiled. “Perfect. Want me to help you bring this to the table?” He asked, motioning to what you made. 

“Please.” You nodded. “JARVIS, can you let everyone know lunch is done?” 

“Yes, Miss.” 

All through lunch and dinner, Bucky watched you and Steve together. He planned to corner his best friend after they finished eating, as he’d been avoiding him all day. If you and Steve weren’t together, why was Steve avoiding him? That was suspicious. 

The way you looked at Steve made it clear to Bucky you had feelings for him, but he couldn’t tell if Steve felt the same way. 

Finally, everyone was getting up, and it was Steve’s turn to clean up. “I’ll bring up the ice cream in a bit, doll. Pick a movie.” He told you. 

“Scary? Funny? What kind?” You asked, finishing up your drink. 

“Okay, how about anything but SAW. I am not watching anymore of those.” He chuckled. You’d conned him into watching it a couple weeks before.

You playfully pouted. “So mean. There’s a lot of them.” 

“I can’t see how you like watching them.” He made a face. “Pick a less disgusting horror and I’ll be fine.” 

“Fiiiine.” You got up. “And can I get whipped cream and sprinkles on my ice cream? Tony got me princess sprinkles.” 

He laughed and nodded. “Deal.” He agreed before you walked out, giving Bucky a half wave. 

Bucky had watched and listened to the interaction. The two of you were clearly close. But how close? “Do you have a thing for my daughter?” He asked. 

Steve sighed. “Do you have to word it like that? She’s her own person.” He pointed out, moving to carry the plates into the kitchen, knowing Bucky was following. “And an adult.” 

“She’s still my little girl.” He ground out. “And off limits.” 

Putting the dishes in the sink, he turned to him, arms crossed over his chest. “Look, Buck. You’re my best friend, damn near like my brother.” He started. “But this is between me and her.” He hated pissing off Bucky, but this wasn’t his choice. “And she made some really good points earlier.” 

“Like what? What the hell could a little girl possibly say to make you think it’s okay to be with her?”

Steve glared at him. “She is an adult. She is legally able to buy alcohol. She’ll be 22 soon!” He reminded him. “And I’m technically not that much older than her. I was on ice for 70 years , Buck. There’s only a ten year difference when you factor that in.” He let that sink in for a moment. “She also pointed out that you know me . You know I’m not a bad guy. I’m not abusive, I’m not a dick. You can trust me. Can you say that about any guy walking around the city out there?” He moved around him to get the cups from dinner. 

Bucky swallowed as Steve spoke. He hated that you were right. He hated that you made some good points. Ones that he just couldn’t counter. Him just being uncomfortable with it just wasn’t a valid reason. 

[mrhowells]

Smallville 4x03

such an iconic episode, I'm so ready😩 (edit: ignore any typos you might find, I was going through it💀)

NOOOOOOOO THIS IS SO FKN FUNNY PLS LOOK AT THIS MAN'S HAIR I CAN'T BREATHE

Honestly I'm so thankful that not a single one of my schools was like this, it's like everyone just reached an unspoken agreement that bullying was uncool and we'd mind our own business.

needles😬

"Have I told you how much I'm gonna miss you?"

no you haven't but you definitely should, go on😌

*in unison* around where????

HELL YEAH FORCED PROXIMITY FTW

"Come on, do you know how many people would kill to relive their senior year of high school?"

No way in hell, and I had a relatively peaceful experience💀😭

"The last thing I want to be is a reporter."

She would absolutely be perfect but let's get one thing straight: If there's a person on this show who knows when to mind their own fucking business, it's LOIS🤷🏻‍♀️

I mean both Chloe and Lois make valid points, she's 17 and while I totally understand why Abby did it, it really is a bit concerning. Especially considering her mother has been pushing her to do it for the last 3 years😬

I got a comment from a helpful user under my post for last episode (ty🥰), apparently Jason is roughly the same age as Lex?? And he started dating Lana when she was 17?? AND HE'S THE FKN ASSISTANT COACH AT SCHOOL?

Clark wants to try out for the team again🥺

Jonathan let Martha have a job off the farm dude come on, be supportive. YES THANK YOU

omg did he fake his parent's signature on the permission slip???

"...they want people to look at them differently."

he's making points🤷🏻‍♀️

UGH I'm so weak for happy, excited Clark just look at himmm😭🥹

"Maybe if I'd been more patient I would've seen who you really are." EEEEEEEW throw the whole man away🤢

honestly fuck everyone who destroyed her self-esteem to the point where she's flattered bc a crusty man like that shows interest

asjaksjaksj

he's not even denying it-

PLSSSS their faces, especially Lois😭

I LOVE THEM YOUR HONOR

and look at Lois "not interested in journalism" Lane right on the story😌😌😌

I'm connecting some dots here and I don't like ittttt😬😬

"I still can't believe that you have a job at my school."

I feel like Lana has had more personality in these last few episodes than she had in the last 3 seasons combined, so that's great to see.

Lex knowssss👀

OMFG LOIS I LOVE YOU

I'mghfdjfghdj LOIS ARE U FREE ON MONDAY-

look at herrrrr😭 LISTEN IF I HAD CLARK'S POWERS-

I mean I agree that beauty is on the inside but that's very easy to say when you look like a literal angel💀 OOp evil surgery lady just said the same thing I did idk how to feel about that💀💀

I love that they're already establishing little things about her, she's messy, she can't spell etc. (though Chloe sounded a bit passive aggressive in both instances, maybe I'm just reading it wrong tho😬)

"It looks like Lois is one step ahead of us." THAT MAKES ME SO PROUD🥺🥺

Clark saving Lois and then Lois saving Clark is something so personal to me actually-

UGH LOOK AT THEMMMMMM😭

*kicks woman* "Bitch."

her lil smile seeing her article in the torch😭

yesss she has fans as she fucking should😌

(Can I just quickly say that as much as I love Homecoming, they could've had at least ONE person at the reunion remember Lois from high school, watching that shit left permanent scars on my soul, it was so cruel😭 Like come on, if reading her article was a "life changing experience" for some students, it would make total sense for SOMEONE to remember her. (yes I'm super salty and what about it))

FUUUUUUUCK I JUST REALIZED I HIT THE 30 IMAGE LIMIT AND I'M NOT EVEN AT THEE DUNK TANK SCENE😭 (off to delete some of them I guess😭)

omg here it comes

"Come on Lois, didn't those guys at the base teach you anything?" "Wouldn't you like to know."

akasjkasdjak YOU KNOW HE WOULD

they wanna bone so bad it makes them look like absolute fucking clowns there I said it

DOESN'TMATTERCAUSEYOU'REGOINGDOWNTHAT'LLBETHEDAYSKADWNKW can you tell I'm losing my last shred of dignity here

ALTERED MY BRAIN CHEMISTRY CLEARED MY SKIN IMPROVED MY GRADES WALKED MY DOGS ETC THIS SCENE CHANGED MY WHOLE FUCKING LIFE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND-

and Tumblr won't even let me upload my 5732893 screenshots where's the justice😭

[shaperaverse-brainrot]

Can you do the character ask thing for Raven?

Thank you for the ask!!!

First impression

Oh good lord. Right. Confession time. I gave myself so many spoilers as I was listening to the albums. I was scrolling the New Albion tag for months before getting into Shaperaverse looking for exclusively DoNA posts, because I was struggling to find any ones I hadn't seen before, and of course I discover the "weird narrator named Kate" had a whole backstory thing. And when I eventually listened to radio hour and had a Lloyd Allen moment of course I stalked his tag and found the Lloydven stuff.

So I kind of knew him as a fan favourite character, and was pretty excited to get to the carnival album on my listen through, to see why everyone seemed to like him so much. And. Uh. Yeah I immediately knew why. Silly clown man who was also a bit of a villain?? Absolutely sign me up.

Impression now

He's my favourite little guy to write about I love him so much. Definitely in my top three favourite Shaperaverse characters if not my absolute favourite of all time. It's really interesting to see how my perception of him has changed in the almost three years (HOW HAS IT BEEN THAT LONG) since I first listened to BotLH, but I think now it's just settled on "Fucked up human being who should probably go to therapy but is trying his very best with what he's got"

Favourite Moment

THE SHOW MUST GO OOOOON THE SHOW MUST GO OOOOON OH DAVID I AM LOSING AND WE NOT NOT WHAT WE'RE DOING BUT MY SMILE GOES NEVER WRONG

Idk if I got the lyrics right but. Honestly that bit in Raven's storytime theatre hits me like a damn truck every single time. Screaming crying doubled over in pain the vocals the vibes the everything.

Second favourite honourable mention has to be the pursuit with Sarah. Because oh. My. God. Being forced to give up your past self as you push harder and harder to save the family you have now. Aushshs

Idea for a story

I am a fanfic writer through and through how dare you make me choose between my babies-

If it counts I really want to finish my WIP on David running into William in level 5 instead of the August Sky Playhouse, and he gets to adjust in a somewhat healthy way and loosening the dam on his powers and doesn't lose his sense of self in the progress

If we're talking about ideas that aren't even wips I have an urban fantasy au where the whole Raven/David identity crisis is that he's a weird demon thing that has to unlearn a bunch of repression to like. Be able to use weird powers and not die.

And as a bonus I have to admit Fayz your Lloydven Cinderella au are some of my absolute favourite Shaperaverse fics of all time I love the way you write David/Raven in them.

Unpopular Opinion

I am. Unfortunately. So basic with most of my Shaperaverse interpretations. The only thing I can think of that relates to him at all is that I wish there was less linear time? Like the whole "Marjolein being with them for two years" and "Lloyd leavimg in a year" and, tying into Raven, him (well, Paul in the cabaret) explaining to Asha in the cabaret that Lloyd's been a doll longer than human, and later to the audience that Lloyd has been in the doll and he in the CU for a hundred years. Just... Not in my head. Nope. Time is fluid. Lloyd may have been a doll for a century but in my head he was like... Both centuries old when he died yet also only like 41. Time doesn't exist. They're immortal yet so breakable mortal at the same time. Raven was in the CU for both a week and until the universe was ripped apart by the chaostrophe. There's such an emphasis on time not making sense and then- (I'll shut up now.)

Favourite Relationship

It has to be Raven and Han Mi. I don't think much more needs to be said. If you haven't already you should check out the twitter tales wiki page and you'll fall in love with Raven and Han's relationship I promise.

Little child sleeping in my arms so soft and safe are you the only truly real I can aspire to create-

Favourite Headcanon

CANE USER RAVEN. It mentions in the podcast he takes to carrying a cane around for pizzazz but in my head he carries it around both for pizzazz and because he needs it to walk. Depending on mood and context it can be because he needed it as David and overcame internalised ableism while getting through his other issues and started using one, because he got injured by Sarah in the postie war and it was an injury that resulted in him using a cane, or simply because he gaslit himself into needing one as part of the Raven persona, starting as pizzazz and then solidifying itself as something Raven Always Used, to the point that if he doesn't have one he will struggle.

[captainhunnicutt]

What is your favorite BJ episode? And if it's different, what is BJ's best episode he's in?

Hello my sweet Bard. Thank you for the ask and giving me a reason to ramble about one of my favorite topics. BJ Hunnicutt.

My favorite BJ episode is hands down "BJ Papa San." I am continuously baffled how this isn't a general fan favorite - and I don't even mean in this microcosm of fandom on Tumblr. I mean Mash fans at large. The episode never makes any "Top _____" lists. It's never an episode that people seem to really discuss or want to sink their teeth in to, unless you're already a fully fledged Beejgirl. I guess it makes sense when I force myself to take my Beej colored glasses off, and try to look at all of the episodes as a normal human who hasn't had a brain rot for so long that it's become a major part of their identity.

BJ is immediately presented to the audience in a very structured and controlled way. The calm persona is laid out and we all eat it up without hesitation. The characterization slots in nicely with the opposite ones surrounding him, and a level head is needed to balance things out within the entire camp - and his wackiness in turn balances himself out. It's just a nice fit. But we all become too comfortable with BJ always being calm, and seeing him have his shit together. There are hints dropped along the way that he is slowly coming apart at the seams, and in fairness, they seem to go ignored. He tells us in "Our Finest Hour," how angry he is - but he says it in that soothing and calm voice that it truly doesn't feel like it registers just how angry he actually is... and then "BJ Papa San" happens.

We see him break down and grant himself permission to express his anger, or maybe he's so angry that the man behind the curtain just shows himself without a second thought. And to have him get angry over another family being ripped away from him - makes it even more upsetting. I've always read BJ as someone who's self-worth is wrapped up in the idea of always having to be more than enough. Exceeds expectations. Is needed. Is wanted. That all of these things mixed together makes a man worthy of everything he has worked for. And to be first ripped from it himself and then to have a parallel version rip itself away from him - it only makes sense that he would lose his cool. It allows the viewers a glimpse into the idea that war can and will bring out the worst in people, and that idea of "worst," isn't always demonstrated in violence or brutality. It can be showcased in losing control of carefully crafted images to become the exact opposite of what you want everyone to think you are. No one is safe from a war. Not physically. Not mentally. Not emotionally - and BJ is such a beautiful character to demonstrate that notion.

I'm not entirely sure how to answer the best episode that BJ is in, because I think a lot of the episodes that he's in and has a serious plot point to take part in - are insanely important to his character. Even the ones where he's helping deliver a cow, or dressed up as a clown with water bottles on his feet - like, they all shed light on what makes this man him.

I'm going to take this opportunity to just say, I know BJ gets a bad wrap. I understand (on a very basic level), that he is not really a "fan favorite," and that's fine. He doesn't have to be, and I don't feel an obligation to defend him. BJ Hunnicutt is not real - but he means something to me. I see a lot of myself in him and the way he rationalizes (or doesn't), and the absurdity of zeroing in on things that someone else may not understand as being important or upsetting. I relate to his propensity to keep everything bottled up until it comes out in the most unhealthiest of ways, and I have for years upon years. We are (were in his case) works in progress.

So yeah, he can be a little shit and I get why people may not like him, but to me he is one of the most complicated and well developed characters of all time.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

[w33nies]

Qué Maravilla CH.10 - 'Send in the Clowns'

Previous Chapter Next Chapter Miguel O'hara x SpiderReader rating: E for Everyone bby warnings: none? lots of angst tbh and bad words + shit proof reading summary: purely exposition, no miguel x reader juice unfortunately art is from the movie !!

-------------- Ch.10 - Send in the Clowns ----------------

The makeshift group of spider men and women rush through the dark maintenance corridors of the subway system on Earth-42. The gang silently swing in the shadows along the tracks, climbing on walls and even hitching rides on the side of the subway carts. It isn’t long before they reach a large, sparsely lit, graffiti-littered room. Surrounding them are several large archways, their tunnels each housing a dark pit leading who-knows-where. Then, suddenly, everyone simultaneously perks up, like a dog hearing high frequency. Even May Parker’s eyes widen with recognition. They each exchange glances with one another.

“Did we all feel that?” Spider-Noir is the first to break the silence. He is met with a wave of agreement.

“Then he’s gotta be around here somewhere,” Peter Parker mumbles, mostly to himself and the baby straddled to the front of his chest. Parker closes his eyes and begins to walk all around the room, concentrating on using his senses like a magnet to determine where the pull feels the strongest. The rest of the spiders wordlessly follow suit. Not long after, they all pause in front of the same archway, each staring wordlessly into its abyss. 

“He’s here. Definitely.”  Gwen Stacy announced. For a second, nobody moves. A common feeling of apprehension holds the group hostage. All of them shared looks that confirmed their communal hesitation.  What worrisome scene could lay on the other side? Could them barging in make matters worse?

“Well? What are we waiting for?” Pavitr Prabhakar shouts oblivious to the atmosphere. He marches towards the entrance, “चल दर!”(let’s go) he belts in a sing-songy voice. “Let’s go save my new frieeend-”

“-Not so fast Pavitr.” Spyder-Byte (aka Margo Kess) blips in front of the restless boy in her cyber blue-pixel avatar.

“What? Why are we stalling?”

“We can’t just walk in there without a plan,” she cautions. “It'll scare him off. I highly doubt he’ll be happy to see… some of us.” Byte takes a moment to pause and look amongst the guilty culprits in her mind. From Gwen to Noir to Porker to Penni and then finally Peter.

Stacy looks away shamefully under Margo’s judgemental gaze before recollecting her composure. “Okay… So how about we send one person? Like a representative or something like that.”

“Okay, but who?” Penni Parker pipes up, reclined comfortably inside the cockpit of the giant humanoid robot she pilots.

“Well, we know who it won’t be. Aye?” Pavitr says in jest motion to Gwen and Peter. 

Peter stuffs his hands in his robe pockets and shifts his weight back and forth from the heels to the balls of his feet, the motion earning an amused gurgle from the infant strapped to his chest. “Yeah. We know. Thanks Pavitr.”

“Now’s not the time Pav.” Gwen crosses her arms defensively, “We need to figure this out fast. Who knows how much time we have.”

“The answer is obvious isn’t it?” Penni remarks. “Who here does Miles trust the most?” 

“Well, that’s me of course,” Peter Porker makes a jaunty strut to the front of the group with an air of certainty, his anthropomorphic hand placed sincerely over his heart. Which crumbles immediately as soon as he sees everyone baffled expressions. 

“Kidding!” the pig let out an embarrassed laugh, wringing his small hands self-consciously. “I totally said that as a joke you guys. Not as a serious suggestion or anything…because that would be totally stupid…” The silence that ensues after is deafening.

Spider-Noir clears his throat loudly. “Anyways, we need to send someone who he knows for sure isn’t on Miguel’s side. Someone he knows who never acts as a double agent.” The black and white clad hero raises his fist dramatically, shaking it with emphasis. “Look alive eggheads! Who among us is known to put their money where their mouth is? Who has the gall to laugh in the face of authority? Who here best represents the rebel cause?” 

They all simultaneously to Hobie Brown who’s in his own world, mask half lifted so he could mindlessly pick at his teeth. When he comes to, he’s shocked to see all of the spiders mutely staring at him.

 “Eeh?” the man pulls his finger from his teeth, his mouth slack in confusion “What are you lot looking at me for?”

-    -    - 

A muffled THUD echoes through the air of the lab. Miles Morales of Earth-42 and Jonathon Ohhnn are both startled. 

“The cultists.” Jonathoon says in a hushed alarmed whisper. “They’re here.”

“Stand back.” Miles quickly positions himself in front of the timid scientist, with his metal talons bared. His Prowler helmet moves automatically to cover his face.  

“You’re not slick, pendejo!” Miles shouts into the void, his head gear obscuring his voice to its titular mechanical drawl. “We know you’re there!” 

“Woah, Woah, Woah settle down mate.” The man who reveals himself, striding nonchalantly towards the pair gives a truly confounding sight. He wears a mask similar to Miles (the other Miles) except this one sports a metal mohawk and a red and blue color scheme. He wears a spiked denim jacket, black distressed jeans and an electric guitar which was strapped to his back. As for spikes, he's covered in them. “I come in peace.” 

 Miles finds his deep accented voice mesmerizing. It possesses an almost sardonic quality to it. As he walks closer to him he notices the UK flag enamel pin on his vest. ‘British, obviously’ Miles deduces. That and the fact that this was probably the coolest person he has ever seen in his life. 

“Who are you!?” Jonathan pipes up from behind the shelter of a teenager. 

The unknown man removes off his mask, revealing a tall, dark man with a full head of thick, voluminous hair styled in wicks. The first thing Miles eyes gravitated to is his smug smile. His bottom lip holds a piercing, but that’s not the only one. He scans his face and finds a matching nose ring, hoop earrings, and two steel studs artfully placed above each of his eyebrows. One look at him and he knew he wasn’t from his world. Every moment or so he looked as if he walked straight out of an array of punk rock magazines (literally). He never met a man who’s aura was constantly changing. He seemed too hypnotizing to be real but there he was, standing in front of Miles looking down at the duo with a sophisticated yet headstrong poise. 

‘How is he even cooler under his mask?’ Miles mumbled loud enough for only him and Jonathon to hear. 

“I’m spiderman. Well one of ‘em variations. Name’s Hobie. Hobie Brown,” he stuffs his hands in his vest pockets, looking around impatiently. “I'm looking for Miles.”

“Uhhhh.” ‘Quick! Play dumb!’ Prowler thinks to himself. 

“Who’s Miles?” 

‘NOT THAT DUMB!’

“I mean- uh…,” After a thoughtless delay, he straightens his posture in an attempt to emulate confidence and clear his throat. “Yep, that’s me. You’re looking at him.” 

Hobie scoffed. “Wow, funny bloke you are, yeah? You know who I mean, man. I’m looking for spider-man Miles, of Earth-1610. I know you’ve met already.” Hobie walks around intensely scanning his surroundings. “I know he’s ‘round here somewhere. I felt it. ” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Jonathan blurts out clumsily “I don’t even know what a spider man is.” He tugs on his shirt collar that suddenly feels too tight on his skin, sweating under Hobie’s unconvinced gaze. 

“A Spider man? Ha! I don’t even know what that would look like! Would they have six legs or six arms?  Would he spit venom and have webs come out of their but? That would be ridiculous. Not that I would know, because I’ve never seen one before! Ha ha-” 

Miles pats him aggressively on the back to shut him up, biting his lip in frustration. Why was he such a shit liar? And why did he feel so embarrassed by it? 

“You said you can feel it?” Miles asks skeptically

“It’s the spider sense.”

“Huh?” 

“The…what?” Jonathan added, completely puzzled. 

“Spider sense. It’s like a sixth sense. When we’re around other spider people it kinda… I don’t know tingles-” 

“-Ewww.” Jonathan interrupts. Miles bites on both his lips to keep from laughing. 

“Come out of it mate, you know what I mean.”

Jonathan and Miles share a confused look with one another.

Miles grins amusedly, “Nah man. I don't think we do.” 

“So like you see someone spider kind and you get like what? Excited? It stimulates you?” Jonathan asks with sincerity. Miles lets a laugh escape his lips.  

“Are you havin’ a laugh? Why are you making it weird?’ Hobie scrubs his hands down his face and starts gesticulating wildly with his arms. “It’s like…like a pull… in the back of your mind. Sorta like a magnet or something. Get your mind out of the gutter.” Hobie sighs, picking up some fallen tech sprawled out in the ruins of the explosion, examines it carefully before pocketing it. 

“I swear, youngers like you are such bloody menaces.” he mumbles, leaning against the one of many now dilapidated work desks.

Miles scrunches his face “Younger? How old are you?” Prowler asks defensively.

“How old do I look?” Hobie asks with a cheeky smile. “I’ll tell you this, I’m definitely old enough to be your older brother. Probably could’ve changed your nappy, who knows?” Miles can’t help but feel slightly disappointed. Older brother? Now that he’s getting a better look at him, he reasons that he'd probably be old enough to vote. So their age gap was significant enough for this man to see him as a kid. He was too old for him. He knew he would want nothing to do with him, at least not in the way Miles would’ve liked. And for some reason it made him feel drawn to him even more.

“Oh I get it!” Jonathan exclaimed, cutting through Miles’s conflicted thoughts “It’s like a multiversal connection. A bond that stems from your shared powers?”

“Exactly. That is what I was trying to say. Also a really good guess by the way.” Hobie pats Ohnn on the back. The scientist winces. “You’re obviously the smart one, eh?” 

Miles’s is visibly irked but there's also another feeling in his stomach he can’t quite place. Though he still didn’t trust him, he couldn't bring himself to hate him. ‘I’ll provoke him a bit…’ the boy tells himself “to get him to talk…’. He decides he needs to learn more about Hobie because he is a potential threat. Yes…Of course. This is all just a classic case of one keeping his friends close and his enemies closer. Or at least that’s what he tells himself. 

“Okay so you share some tingles. Now what?” Miles brings his metal claws inches away from Brown’s neck. Hobie raises his hands in submission, though his face gives away that he’s not at all threatened by the young man. 

“Why should we trust you? Miles told us some cultists were him and then a few minutes later, like magic, you show up with your funky Irish jig-” 

 “-I’m gonna pretend like I didn’t hear you say that-” 

“- and expect us to believe you’re not in a cult.”

“Do I look like I'm in a cult?”

“Yes.” Morales counter immediately 

“100%,” added Ohnn.

Hobie breath hitches in an attempt to keep from cursing. “Well, I’m not in a cult. I don’t believe in 'em’-”

“-Yeah, of course you would think that,” the boy retorted. “People in cults usually don’t know they’re in cults. That’s how they work.” 

Hobie rolled his eyes with a sigh. “Mate, I’m not here to sell you a religion. We’re here to get Miles back home. Your uncle Aaron Davis, he was the one who told us you both would be here.” 

“Us?” both men questioned in unison. 

“Who’s us?” Morales pushed his claws further, just millimeters away from scraping his adam's apple.  

Hobie smirks then he throws his head toward the sky, stumbling backwards he shouts. “Oi! You can come out now.”

Suddenly, a loud BANG shakes the entire lab. A massive silhouette, almost like an enlarged action figure, slams on the ground seemingly out of nowhere, beginning its slow and menacing crawl towards the trio. The only thing visible being its two glowing diamond shaped eyes and its glowing spider crests similar to Miles’s and Hobie’s. Each subsequent step reverberated the air around them as it got closer and closer and closer. Jonathan and Miles, stifled with fear, had to crane their neck upwards just to even attempt to absorb the full design of the creature. Then its head opens up, a billow of smoke looms outside of the cockpit. A small figure emerges.

“Hey ya!” A teen girl in an oversized jacket and pink hair clips throws a peace sign. “My name is Penni Parker, and this is my robot. ” The girl then launches herself into the air, springing into a backflip and landing effortlessly on the ground. Both her and her robot break out into sensational battle poses.

“You have a pet robot?”

“I wouldn’t call her a pet.” Peni motions the robot, the machine then bends down to meet her. Penni scratches the display that operates as its head. A cartoonish happy face on its monitor. “It’s a long story. But we are best friends.” 

Jonathan timidly walks toward the robot and reaches his hand out ‘Can I?’ he seems to ask wordlessy. Penni nods. ‘Yes, you may.’ Jonathan pets the robot and its screen interface emotes with heart eyes. 

Another muffled thump is heard from a distance. Everyone’s head turns. 

The culprit of the sound walks apprehensively from the cover of the shadows. 

“Hey, I’m Gwen.” She’s wearing the green and red jacket she borrowed from Miles' room back on 1610. “I’m, uh…” Gwen Stacy fiddles with the zipper as she thinks of the right words to say, “I’m...a friend…of Miles.” 

“I’m Peter! With little Mayday.” Peter grabs May’s hand and gives it a wave. He looks around, taken aback. 

“Yikes. What happened here?” he nudges a glitching, fractured statue with his foot, “Looks like some inter-dimensional barf in here.” 

“Names Peter as well. Peter Parker but they call me Noir.” The man in all black tips his hat respectfully, hanging from the wall and the wind blows his trenchcoat. Both Miles and Jonathon shared brief bewildered looks.

 “Where is that wind coming from? We’re in a subway.” Jonathan whispered to Miles, his hand obscuring his mouth. The boy just shrugs.

“I’m here riding with the flow of justice.” (Unbeknownst to Noir, Peter is rolling his eyes. Mouthing his exact words as he’s speaking them while mocking his theatrical mannerisms). “Because in this world, justice is as fickle as the rain. And like rain, she’s taken for granted until times of drought and corruption-” 

“-I’m Pavitr Prabhakar!” A teen boy rushes in with an infectious eagerness, excitedly shakes the two men's hands. “हे भगवान!” (Oh my god) “You’re exactly like Miles!”

“I am Miles.”

“Yeah but you are like a much more serious, jaded version of him. You seem more like a lone-wolf, brooding type of guy.” 

“That’s a lot of assumptions for someone you just met.” 

“I’m really good at reading people,” the teen proclaims proudly. His eyes dart subtly from Hobie to Miles with a smirk on his face. His masked face somehow managing to convey that they knew his innermost emotions. Miles scowls and looks away. 

“Anybody else I should know about?” he asks, desperate to avoid the subject.

A blue toned blue hologram materializes instantly in front of the two. Jonathan lets out an embarrassing high pitched yelp. 

“Kess comma Margo,'' she says casually. “But where I’m from, they call me Spyder-Byte.” 

“Woah.” Jonathan whispered under his breath, captivated by the sight of a moving human hologram. He moves his hand out to touch it.

“Nuhuh!” Margo smacks it away. “Just because I’m cyber doesn’t mean I'm not solid.”

“Solidified light?” Jonathan awes, cradling his smacked hand. Another thing to add to the list of technological marvels he would never dream he’d live to see. Yet now he was seeing all of it in one day.

Prowler takes a step toward, also taken with the avatar.  “How-” Suddenly, he trips on his shoelace and falls flat on his face with a loud SMACK.

“Whoops! Careful There!” Miles groggily lifts his head and finds a carton pig cheerfully strutting towards him on its hind legs. 

“Oh I see the problem here. It’s your shoe! It’s very untied.” The hog spits in his…hand? Hoof? And hold it out for him to shake. “The name’s Peter Porker, put ‘em here!”  

“No thanks, I…just ate.” Miles said, waving the creature away with his hand.The pig, undeterred, then turns to Jonathon. 

“Um nice to… meet you.” Ohnn reluctantly licks his thumb and pointer finger. Leaning down to lightly pinch the very tip of one of the hog’s fingers, reluctantly gave a very light shake of his hand. 

“Wow.” He chuckles, whipping his hand on his lab coat. “A lot of P names in this group huh?”

“There's plenty more where we come from,” Peter Parker jokes. Only the other spiders laugh.

“And that's all of ‘em.” Hobie sneaks up behind Jonathon and Miles, wrapping his arms over their shoulders. Miles feels his face burn with embarrassment.  “I wouldn’t sweat memorizing ‘em all,” he murmurs. “I reckon I forget most of these blokes as well.”

 “You said my uncle sent you guys? ” Miles directs his question to no one in particular “Why?”

Everyone immediately breaks out into their own explanation of events. All wildly talking over one another in a long, complicated mess of unintelligible words. Hobie abstains from the futile madness. 

“Did that help?” Hobie asks amusedly 

“Not at all, thank you” Miles speaks with fake sincerity. 

Hobie snorts.  “Well to be fair, it is quite the story.” 

“We can talk about it over snacks!” Jonathan enthusiastically walks over to his snack stash, listing his commodities as he sees them. “I have green tea, oolong, lavender, chai tea...” 

Silently, the other spiders shoot a nervous glance at Pavitir. Miles swears he can see a vein popping underneath his mask. The boy slowly turns, “Chai?…Tea?...”

“Yuh huh. I also picked up some bagels, biscuits, oh and picked up  some naan bread from this spot on 7th street this morning -” 

“NAAN? BREAD?”

“Uh huh. I also made this Tikka Masala to go with it! I followed this recipe online-”

Pavitir breaths heavily with his fists balled at his side. He is surrounded by the spiders desperately trying to calm down. 

“Take deep breaths Pav.” Margo Kess instructs him.

“Look at him! He doesn’t know any better.” Penni attempts to reason

“Oh, here we go. ” Hobie crosses his arms, leaning against the wall with the biggest smile on his face.

“-Did you just say NAAN BREAD? Do you realize what you just said? NAAN means bread. Chai is tea. Did you really offer me some tea-tea with some bread-bread? How can you call yourself a scientist if you don't even-”

“-PAV!” Gwen places herself between Jonathon and the disgruntled boy, “I think he gets it.” Pavitir turns away with a huff, arms crossed and cheeks puffed like a scolded child.

Jonathan looks at the thermos in his hand shamefully. “If you don’t want it I can-”

“-I’ll take the food.” Pavitir quickly grabs the container and plastic utensils from him. Just as he’s about to leave he abruptly stops to face the scientist once again.

“...Thank you.” The boy says in a low voice. After retreating to a more secluded corner of the lab he opens the container. His shoulders visibly relax when he sees the steam pop out. Hobie digs in from over his shoulder. 

“That doesn’t have pork in it does it?” Porker asks the scientist

“I believe it’s chicken.” 

The pig shrugs. “Welp, better them than me!” making his way towards the impromptu picnic.

“Can we stop dallying and get down to business?” Noir rubs his temples in annoyance “Where’s our boy Miles?” 

Jonathan and Miles look at eachother, tight lipped. Both telepathically communicating their unswayed distrust in the eclectic group of characters. Though it’s Miles who has the gall to voice his skepticism. 

“Give us a reason to trust you guys.”

“Hold on.” Gwen types a few buttons on her web watch, from which it emits a hologram rife with all the relevant pictures and text files.

“You see this guy here?” Gwen points to the lanky spotted silhouette depicted on the orange hued screen. “This is theSpot. He’s a sorta trans-dimensional super being. You see the spots on his body?” She fiddles with the settings on her watch, zooming in on his likeness. “Those are portals he uses to travel to alternate dimensions. He’s already opened up several worm holes in other universes.” 

“Mine included.” Pavitr speaks up, pointing to the wreckage surrounding them. “This is all from my home.” Gwen swipes the hologram, which shows the devastating aftermath of the Spot’s carnage. The boy exudes an uncharacteristic somber tone, his voice racked with hurt. 

“A lot of people got hurt and many more could be dead. We got a handle on it now…though barely. And now… he’s after Miles.”

“Why?” both men inquired at once.

“He thinks it’s his fault.” Pavitir says, “The way he looks now, he blames Miles for it.”

“If we don't get Miles home the same will happen again in his dimension and he won’t stop after that.” Noir falls gracefully from his vantage point, light as a feather, and onto his feet. “Every second he’s free, the entire multiverse is at risk.” 

“I do remember Miles bringing up the name Spot.” The scientist steps closer to get a better look. “Wait..That’s the guy I saw in my vision!” He peers over the accompanying slides with written information. He doesn’t get very far before he sees the thing that makes his blood run cold.

‘Subject: Jonathan Ohn A.K.A The Spot’

“Hey… that’s my name.” Jonathan gives a feeble laugh which falters as soon as he sees the sympathetic gazes from around him. None of them bother to look him in the eyes. With a trembling finger, he points to the stranger on the screen.

 “That’s not actually me… is it?” 

 “I’m sorry Jonathan.” Gwen’s voice is a but a low whisper

“I -” Jonathan opens his mouth to speak but no words come out. He stumbles backwards and falls into the uneven office chair. 

“How?” 

Nobody speaks up. 

Jonathon throws his arms up in frustration. “How? How did this happen to me? Tell me. I deserve to know the truth.” 

“We destroyed the collider on Earth-1610.” Peter speaks hesitantly, “We thought we were helping but…He absorbed the dark matter as a result of the explosion and…” he trails off sympathetically. “...I’m sure you know the rest.”

Jonathon takes a second to absorb the words but shakes his head in disbelief. “That- That makes no sense,” he stutters. “Why would I be  mad at that boy? He saved my life. When I was trapped inside the collider and then he was the one who-” 

Jonathan’s face becomes crestfallen. “Oh,” is all he can manage to muster . 

 Just then. his heart threatens to burst out of his chest the more the reality dawns on him. Had he been trapped near that machine for just a few more seconds his future would’ve looked very different. The thought makes him physically ill. See, Jonathan Ohnn had grown accustomed to the idea of a strenuous future when he crossed the higher ups at Alchemex. He was by no means a fearless man, but he learned to stomach the notion of violence being used against him. But this? This thought that this depravity that could’ve consumed his entire waking being was too much to handle. He hated to admit it, but he could better brave the concept of a vicious death than the idea of him being a grotesque, wicked monstrosity. 

Then scientist feels his knees give out from under him as his head aches from the overwhelming realization. 

“Jonathon? Jonathan!” Many people speak his name in concern but he can’t hear them.

Jonathan clutches his skull as he writhes in pain. Bombarded with flashes of memories that are not his own. Yet somehow feel as real to him as the pain currently working to overwhelm him. He sees it all. For a moment, he can feel the shame of being fired from his dream job. The way armed men escorted him out the building through the back door so as to not disturb anyone with his ghastly appearance. For a moment, he can see the horror on his family's faces. How the people who promised to love him unconditionally removed all the hanged photos of his former glory from their walls and refused to return his calls. For a moment, he can feel himself being shunned by his fellow scientists and turned away by doctors. All to disturbed with him to even pretend to care for him and his condition. He can feel the disgusted glances on the street. The way mothers fearfully pull their children closer to them when they see him walk past. For a moment, he can feel the realization that as he is now, there is not a single living creature that could endure him in any capacity. How In just one night, love and normalcy had become something entirely unattainable for him. In the span of seconds it was like he felt his entire life go in a downward spiral. And all the while in the background a voice bellowed with malice. A voice that sounded a lot like his own.

‘Maybe then I won’t be such a joke to you!’ 

It was enough to make any man go mad.

When he comes to, Jonathan finds himself on his hands and knees surrounded by worried folks. An onslaught of concern from the group hits him in one giant wave. A multitude of  hands grab him to support him back to his feet. A flurry of voices drown his thoughts.

‘Are you alright? Do you need water? Here, sit down. Take deep breaths now, in and out. How many fingers am I holding up? Be careful with him. Careful! Stop crowding him, give him some air. You’re freaking him out! Can somebody please get him some water?’

Miles rushes over with a water bottle in hand. “Thank you” he says weakly. He downs most of it in one gulp.

“I saw it.” he says crushing the plastic in his hands. He leans back in the chair recalling the vision, tears threatening to spill from his eyes. “I saw everything. He’s so… miserable. I -” His voice catches in his throat. 

“No one should ever have to go through that!” He cries hysterically, barely able to get the words out through choked sobs. “No one should ever be made to feel so… alone.” He finishes weeping dejectedly into his hands. Miles sympathetically places his hand on his back, shooting irritated glare at the newcomers. 

Gwen can feel her heart break in two. As she closes her eyes with a sigh, she begins playing the first rhythm that comes to mind, lightly drumming her hands on the table. Not that she intends to, but high stress environments or bad rhythm situations prompt her to emulate a good rhythm to counteract it. Is it a trauma response? A defense mechanism? Probably. This isn’t one she uses often though. She played it only one other time for her dad after losing her mom. As they cried holding each other on the living room floor, the tapping of her fingers managed to empty the well of her father's eyes until he had no tears left to cry. It wouldn’t make him happy. No rhythm could do that for a loss like this, but it would be enough to ease his pain just for a moment. Like a little morphine for the soul.

She opens her eyes to see Jonathon's head leaning on the headrest of the chair, holding the plastic bottle over his heart. His breaths are deep and steady. His face was still wet with freshly shed tears. She listens to the rhythm of his breathing. It stills houses a great dejection, but now she can sense a hint of acceptance . ‘Good’ she thinks to herself. ‘It’s good enough for now.’

She bends down to a squat in front of the man, looking into his eyes. “I know this is a lot.” she began, “But you would be helping us save a lot of people if you helped us out. Please Jonathon…Can you tell us where we can find him?”

Jonathan takes a moment before responding, the hand holding the water bottle falls limply into his lap. 

“You’re right about him being here,” he began softly, his head thrown back and eyes open ajar. “He went to the lab just before you arrived. He was going to steal the prototype for the new strain of Rapture.” Jonathan points out to the broken machine through the window of the observation deck. “We stayed here to attempt to fix the collider and hopefully  circumvent its shortcomings so we could  send him home before we destroyed this thing for good.” 

“Rapture?” Gwen asks.

“It’s a highly addictive, insanely deadly drug Alchemex and Scorpion Pharmaceuticals  have been shilling. It’s supposed to be illegal but…” MIles sighs, “That word doesn’t mean much here.”

“It’s the stuff Miguel is mulled up on.” Hobie speaks quietly, “The stuff that makes him… you know.” Hobie glanced at Peter, Noir, and proker. Among the more established, long standing members of spider society it was an open secret. One no would ever talk about, not even behind closed doors. 

“Without it he’s even worse” Peter adds. “If you could imagine,” he laughs bleakly

“Well they wanna distribute it through every universe.” Miles spoke with his arms crossed. “They’ll not only make a monopoly out of it but the cure as well. Who knows what other stuff they’ll do with that kind of power...”

“So what are we going to do?” Jonathan spoke weakly, his head rolled to the side. “If they fire this machine again anytime soon, which to be honest they absolutely will, we’re talking about a rupture in the space time continuum! It’ll totally destroy-” 

Jonathan head perks up worriedly taking deep sniffs in the air. “I’m sorry, What’s that smell?”

All eyes turn to Peter Parker, who lifts up Mayday from her carrier. He takes a whiff of her backside then immediately recoils from the stench. 

“Sorry everyone, my daughter just-” he looks at the baby before lowering his voice to a  whisper “-she just shit herself.” He looks around wildly, clicking his tongue. “You don’t happen to have a baby changing station here, do you?” 

“Uh-” 

“You know what, nevermind. That’s a stupid question I’ll just change here…uhhh…over Here!” Peter walks over to desk. In swift motion he wipes all the documents and equipment off a table before taking off his baby carrier and getting right to work. 

“Don’t mind me, as you were saying? 

“Well, It’ll open up a black hole big enough to swallow all of Brooklyn. Possibly extending to the Hudson Valley, Long Island, hell maybe he Jersey-”

“Would Long Island really be a loss?” Peter jokes whilst lathering his palms in a heap of baby powder

Everyone looks at him, speechless. 

“Peter-” Penni reprimanded.

“-Geez, tough crowd.” The occupied father said, “I guess I’ll just shut up now.”

“Anyways, with the shock wave that happened when Miles disrupted the colliderIt’s only a matter of time before the higher ups show up…'' Jonathan slowly wheels himself to turn towards Miles, “...Then what are you going to do?”

“Me?” 

“You didn’t kill me, and you’re not going to hand over the collider are you?”

“No. Of course not! And also I was never going to kill you per say-” 

“-But they’ll kill you.” Jonathon slammed his thigh with emphasis, “You know that. They’ll kill both of us.” He puts his head in his hands, mumbling quietly to himself,  “What are we gonna do?What are we gonna do?...” 

“I’ll figure something out man,” Miles attempts to assure. “I do my best work when the stakes are high” he jokes

Jonathan looks up from his hands, completely disheartened “Maybe... You should’ve just killed me…When you had the chance.” 

“Jonathon-”

“-You still can.” Jonathan reasons. “Then afterwards you and Miles can dispose of the strain. Maybe use it as leverage to negotiate-”

“-Don’t be ridiculous Ohnn.” 

“I’m fine with dying if it’s for a good reason. I’ve served my purpose-”

“-You’re not dying Ohnn.” Mile begins to pace around,  thinking to himself . “Can’t we just, I don’t know, blow it up?” 

The boy is met with chorus of no’s

“Again, we tried that on 1610 and we’re still dealing with the aftermath.” Porker reasons, “It’s the reason we have this Spot problem in the first place.”

“To destroy, I would need to corrupt the files.” Jonathon rises to his feet and makes his way over to  the monitors. “But most of the computers are busted. It’ll take ages for me to make a kill switch and download the relevant files to save my work.”

“Sorry do you have anywhere I can throw this away?” Peter holds up a stinky diaper, “Whew, this smells BAD.” 

Jonathon responds actually perturbed this time, “I’m not sure.. the trash can?” 

“You know what, I'll just hold onto it, I guess. Sorry I'm new to this whole parenting thing.” 

“Can we worry about this whole money hungry, supervillain side plot  later?” Margo practically begs, “When there isn’t a massive threat to time and space on our hands.”

“And this isn’t?” Peter Parker speaks up, wiping his hands and placing his baby back in her carrier. “We can’t leave this alone. It’ll bite us in the ass.” 

“So what should we worry about first then?” Hobie asks, “The Spot

Suddenly, All the spiders react. 

“Spider sense?” Miles asks

“Spider sense.” Hobie affirms 

“At least it’s not the cavalry,” Jonathon sighs in relief. “It's probably Miles.” 

“NO! Wait-” The spiders attempt to protest to no avail.

“-Cabron!” Miles shouts, “Hurry up! We have important business to talk about.”

Who emerges is an incredibly tall, hulking figure possessing the build of a linebacker and the disposition of a giant. The spider emblem at the center of his suit possessing a skull head and fangs. As if it was intentionally designed to be threatening. At his sides his fists sit balled in anger.  

“Who is that?” Jonathan whispers.

“...The cultist.” Hobie whispers back

For an agonizing moment Miguel O’hara says nothing. Taking all the time in the world to scrutinize each body that occupied that dark, ruined lab. Eventually his mask dissolves. The face underneath held his customary scowl, which not only housed its usual contempt, but also an intense bitterness and perhaps a slight look of betrayal. If looks could kill the daggers he was glaring into the group of traitors would’ve had each of them mangled beyond recognition.

“Business?” Miguel spoke tersely. “Well then, I’m all ears.”

[krinsbez]

https://forums.spacebattles.com/threads/why-cant-batman-be-black-asian-or-latino.728998/post-55251715

I realize thus awhile ago. And you like to speculate. Not trying to rile more than your imagination

But how you view waynes-kanes-semitism abd, if at least intact if night wealthy, why the fuck when Bruce orphaned he didn't end up in stately Kane manor under Jacob or the rest.

I mean was Martha marrying Thomas that big a blow up?

Heck how like characterize the waynes?

AIUI, Martha's brothers are generally depicted as being, honestly, kind of terrible people whom she didn't get along with, so there's that?

It is also possible, that as two of the oldest families in Gotham, the Waynes and Kanes have a rivalry. Which doesn't stop them from intermarrying anymore than it did the royal houses of Europe.

(Sidenote, that should also go for the Arkhams and Cobblepots and Lawtons, if using the versions where they are also among Gothams' first families. In such a case, Bruce and Penguin and Deadshot should absolutely be cousins)

There is also probably a certain amount of pride involved. The Wayne of Gotham should not be under the authority of non-Waynes, or something like that.

That said, pre-Crisis, Bruce was actually sent to live with Thomas' brother Philip, though most of the work of raising him was via his hosuekeep Mrs. Chilton (who was secretly the mother of Joe Chill...Comics, everyone!)

WRT the Waynes in general, the thing I always say is that batman isn't a Dark Knight, he's a Dark Lord. He is the Wayne of Gotham, as it was his father before him, and his father, and etc. The city is his family's hereditary fiefdom, and I think that this is actually a contributor to why Batman is the way he is. When his father died, the city became his responsibility, and so on some level, he views the the city going to hell as being his fault, as something he should have prevented. Which is nuts, because obviously as a child he couldn't have done anything, and it was maybe already going in that direction, but if he was operating on pure reason, he wouldn't be dressing up as a bat and fist-fighting gangsters and homicidal clowns.

So, yeah, I think the Wayne family has always operated via a sense of noblesse oblige. They have always seen themselves as better than the other "first families" of Gotham and have justified it via investing real time and money and effort in trying to improve the city and it's people, rather than the kind of performative philanthropy their peers do. And Thomas and Martha took this even further, for whatever reasons.

That said, it's important to keep in mind, they were still people, not saints. The same goes for Thomas' ancestors. It should also be noted that just because you are trying to help the city, doesn't mean you actually are. To give a relevant example, by all accounts Dr. Fredrick Wertham was genuinely concerned for the well-being of children, which doesn't make his falsifying data to support his need for a magic bullet, nor the subsequent crusade he unleashed, okay. I don't think this applied to Thomas, but definitely was the case with some of the previous Waynes. I do imagine that Thomas, while in no way abusive and entirely out of love, had expectations that his son would live up to the family's legacy and made sure he knew it, and probably put way more responsibility on the poor kid than was probably healthy; see above.

I hope this helps, and wasn't too ramble-y

Thank you for asking!