#thanks to their bluntness and straightforwardness it makes the whole call much better.

[beaulesbian]

another fun parallel with these two, and a ringing snail communicator:

luffy, chapter 549, answering a snail on a stolen navy ship while on his way to save ace in marineford after wrecking the whole of impel down prison:

zoro, chapter 614, answering a snail on the fishman island, in the ryugu palace, talking to the princes of the kingdom while the king is tied up behind him:

[the-timemachinecollector]

Villain (part two)

Hi and welcome back to: I’m sad and I’m going to make that your problem, too <3

CW: This is the continuation of Villain! Depressed Reader after the conversation with Aizawa. Reader’s mother is in the League of Villains and has been accused of being a traitor.

TW: Talk of depression like the inability to take care of yourself, loss of friends, willingness to give up. Talk of an eating disorder like not wanting to eat, quick weight loss.

I appreciate all of the feedback you guys gave me on the first part! I had no idea people would like it so much! Thank you for all of the support! I’m willing to continue this series if anyone would want that! <3

Part 1

----

“(Last Name)?” Todoroki’s voice came from the other side of my dorm room door. I almost didn’t hear it over the hum of the radiator. I took a deep breath, opening the door just enough for him to see my face. His hands were fidgeting and his eyes were completely downcast.

“Are you okay?” He asked, peering into my dorm.

“Yes, why?” I opened the door a little wider.

“Kirishima and I were waiting to ask Aizawa about the homework and-”

“And you heard everything,” my voice cracked. I thought back to the shuffling noises outside of Aizawa’s classroom door earlier today.

“I didn’t notice how much you were struggling,” his tone sounded almost shameful.

“I’m not struggling,” I shook my head, closing the door a little more. Something about this made me feel extremely vulnerable. “Thank you for checking in on me, but I’m really okay.”

It was one thing to admit to a teacher but something completely different when talking to one of your classmates. Every stupid detail was probably engraved in the back of this kid’s head.

“That isn’t what you told Mr. Aizawa,” Todoroki stood his ground. Shoto and I were never by any means close. But I’ve seen him and the way he interacted when it came to Midoriya. He cares about his classmates and would risk his life to save them, although that doesn’t make opening up to him any easier.

“You weren’t supposed to hear any of that anyway,” I scoffed. The lump in my throat grew bigger the more I thought about him and Kirishima standing outside of the classroom, listening as I described the pain I had been feeling. It swelled and blocked my breathing when I thought about Kirishima telling Bakugo.

“I didn’t mean to listen to your conversation,” he claimed. “Nonetheless, I’m sorry for eavesdropping, and I’m sorry Bakugo said those things to you.”

I shook my head, trying to keep my tears at bay by avoiding eye contact.

He looked up at me, casts his eyes down, and turned to leave, “I know you aren’t a villain.”

I wanted to let him go. I wanted to watch him disappear down the hallway, letting me go back to my peaceful bedroom where the darkness could swallow me whole, but goddammit.

“Shoto,” I called against my better judgment, voice shattering every inch of my facade that I tried to keep up. “Thank you.”

He nodded, continuing back to his dorm.

----

The day started as slow as it always does. I could hardly bring myself to push the blankets off of me. I could hardly get dressed and throw on my brave face. This was an everyday occurrence. Showering, eating, getting up in the morning, it was all a chore. It all felt like too much. Having to pick out clothes, put them on, get my bag ready. It didn’t feel worth the effort.

There were no words for the ongoing pain that resonated in my chest when I thought about walking through the halls to get to class. Every person that looked at me had something in their eyes that wasn’t there before. The looks could be of pity or confusion but my brain took every look as one of hatred.

But having Shoto come to my dorm and admit he didn’t think of me as a villain or a traitor stuck with me. Shoto Todoroki was not one to say things he didn’t mean. He was almost always straightforward and blunt. Maybe if he was willing to talk to me, the rest of the class would be, too.

My heart still sank at the thought of Kirishima telling Bakugo about what he heard me admit. I didn’t want Bakugo to know how broken his words made me feel. I wish I could explain to him what he did, but I know if I tried it’s possible he would laugh in my face and saunter away.

Bakugo wasn’t a bad person. I know that. But he had a way of making me feel like everything I worked so hard for could be erased by a simple word: Traitor.

----

When it came lunchtime I knew I had to meet with Aizawa. I didn’t want to but something about Aizawa made me want to open up to him. After I left his classroom yesterday I spent most of my day scolding myself for oversharing. I know he has the best intentions and even though it’s a part of his job description he doesn’t take it lightly.

I pushed open the heavy door, spotting Aizawa at his desk, typing something on his laptop. He gives me a small nod, finishing whatever he was doing on his computer.

I took a seat near the front, pulling an apple from my bag. I was really hoping when Mr. Aizawa said ‘start small’ he actually meant it.

“Did Bakugo give you any problems?” He pulled his lunch out of his desk.

“No more than he usually does,” I twisted the stem of the apple until it tore off.

Aizawa nodded as he started eating.

The silence was uncomfortable and I debated bringing up the conversation I had with Shoto last night. I opened my mouth and immediately closed it deeming that information as 'oversharing'.

"Have you spoken to Asui about any of this?" Aizawa questioned as I took a bite of my apple.

I tried to ignore the barely noticeable smile that played on Aizawa's face. Why is he smiling?

"No, she's been distant like everyone else. Everyone except Shoto."

I internally sighed. What did we just say about oversharing?

"Todoroki?" Aizawa glanced over at me.

I nodded, "he stopped by my dorm last night. Just to check-in."

Aizawa's face held a different emotion. He looked relieved? Or maybe pleased? I don't know.

"He's a good kid," was all Aizawa said, turning back to his laptop.

I took another bite of my apple.

The rest of the day went by quicker than it ever did. By the time I knew it, classes were over and I was back in my dorm. The day was overall more productive than I had thought. I even ate something, against my better judgment. And even as I lay in my bed, overanalyzing what Bakugo said a few days ago, something was different. The nighttime didn't seem so hopeless and the thoughts that swirled around my head weren't so pessimistic.

The overwhelming sensation of being alone was suppressed by the soft glow of my phone on my nightstand.

"Are you awake?" -Todoroki.

----

A/N: submissions are open! I don’t have any criteria for submissions, and I can’t promise I’ll do all of them but I will do my best to write for you guys!

----

(@yuutaokkutsu) <3

[taro-im]

he doesn’t deserve you

Synopsis: You call Ushijima to pick you up from a cancelled date

warnings: angst and fluff

you are tendous adopted sister

time skip au

“hey um wakatoshi sorry for bothering you but do you think you can pick me up?” You said hiding your sniffles so he couldn’t hear it

“Yeah sure y/n text me the address” he said walking as fast as he could to his car

there you were standing in the cold waiting outside because you got stood up by your date, you thought he could be the one, it was hard having feelings for your brothers closest friend and most of all trying to hide them for 6 years, you remember first seeing Ushijima he was in the gym spiking some volleyballs he looked so mesmerizing from the gleam of his sweat, the way his hair was parted and how he looked so calm spiking the ball, at that moment you knew you were down bad for him… the more you got to know him you liked his straightforward and blunt personality, Ushijima in the beginning always thought that you needed to be protected because you were his friends little sister well you were a second year but still there was something about you that made his heart skip a beat… he denied that feeling thinking it was just him being over caring

“Y/n your going to get sick if you do that” he said taking off his brown trench coat wrapping it around you “toshi you don’t have to” you said flustered from his action “I insist Satori told me to take care of you” he said intertwining his fingers with yours… “I’m 22 I don’t need to be taken care of” you said embarrassed, he opened the door for you in his brand new car your not that surprised because it’s from him being a pro athlete

“I’m sorry for calling you and asking you to pick me up so randomly” you said looking through the window while he was just driving “it’s okay, but why does it look like you were crying?” “You notice?” You gave a light laugh “yeah your eyes are sort of red” “well… this guy I sort of liked asked me out on a date but then he cancelled on me- I know it’s stupid but I can tell he’s not interested” you said trying to sound more cheery but he could hear the hint of sadness in your voice “he doesn’t deserve you…” he muttered “hm what did you say toshi?” “Oh since we’re already here let’s go to a restaurant I’m kind of hungry” he said giving you a little head pat “oh okay” you said flustered at his sudden touch… Ushijima fell for you when he saw you on graduation day, holding your little bouquet of flowers with that gentle cheery smile of yours made his heart skip a beat, he denied in the past saying some sort of excuse but on that day, everything seemed so crystal clear to him he fell for you “congrats lil sis” Tendou said ruffling your hair “Satori! I took so much time doing my hair” you pouted while he shed some tears “ah my little sister really is maturing right Ushiwaka?” “Ushiwaka? Are you day dreaming?” He said shocked “what? Oh yeah you look beautiful today y/n” “thanks wakatoshi!” You said almost in a yell a blushing mess from what he said

“Toshi how did you get a reservation here so fast???” You said eyes wide open sitting in the chair shocked by the fact that your in one of Japan’s best restaurants “I know one of the owners” he said opening the menu casually almost smiling at your cute reaction, the evening was fantastic it was just the both of you talking and catching up, a few sips of red wine, and all he could think of was how you could look so elegant yet cute when you were talking, “oh my god it’s pouring” you said looking at Ushijima exiting the restaurant “yeah the weather was perfectly fine earlier” the both of you didn’t have hoodies or umbrellas but you used his huge trench coat as a cover, “let’s run” you giggled taking his hand running to the parking lot, his eyes widen a little at your little action that made him slightly blush “I’m sorry for taking your jacket” you said playing a piece of your damp hair noticing that Ushijima was soaked “it’s fine at least your not wet from the rain”

“Thank you for today toshi, I felt really better” you said with your little smile “no problem I don’t like seeing you sad” he said quieter “what?” “nevermind” “come in your wet dry up a little then go” you said “don’t worry I’m fine-“ “your going to get sick if you drive home like that, I’ll make some tea” “thank you…” the both of you entered your little apartment, he noticed a letter from your brother tendou that was a postcard from France “take those off I have a spare over size shirt” you said touching his wet turtleneck, while you were looking through your closet you noticed how many times you’ve touched him today…. “Y/n stop being so touchy that’s so creepy” you said hitting your head a little “here toshi I- ah I’m sorry!” You said throwing the shirt at the shirtless man in front of you covering your eyes “no it’s okay I forgot to close the door” he said cheeks slightly tinted “no it’s my fault- I’ll be making the tea” you said speed walking to the kitchen, Ushijima was drying his damp hair on the couch seeing a little view of you putting water in your little kettle humming some random song cute

“Hey y/n” “yeah?” “You got something on your face” “o-oh where?” “I’ll just do it” he said moving closer his calloused fingers touching your warm flushed cheek “did you get it?” “Yeah… would you give me a chance y/n?” “what do you mean wakatoshi” you said breath hitching “I mean would you go out with me? I promise to never make you cry or upset I want to have a chance” he said eyes looking at yours “toshi your giving me a whole speech… of course I’ll go out with you” you said putting your arms around his neck hiding your blushing face “I really like you y/n for so long” he said hugging you back “I like you too…”

5 months later,family reunion:

“No way is my lil sis dating Ushiwaka!??!!” Tendou said eyes wide open at his stoic friend giving you a kiss on the cheek at the family dinner table

[universalistotalis]

Stiff That You Love

Ushijima Wakatoshi (Timeskip!) x Female reader

Masterlist!!!

You never thought you'd see him again. You almost choked on the truffle pasta that you ordered in this café when a certain beautiful giant waved and made his way to you.

"Holy damn." You whispered underneath your breath as his strides made their way towards your table. You knew he was already a show stopper back then, but now???!

You were so sure everyone would drop dead at the sight of him.

"Hi." He greeted with his deep voice. "Do you still remember me?"

Surprise filled your expression at his question but you smiled politely and nodded your head. "How could I forget? How are you Ushijima?"

You swore you saw a glint of relief and excitement in his eyes but it immediately wavered as he motioned to the chair in front of you.

"May I?" He asked again, holding the back of the chair.

Is he really going to sit here with me?!

"Sure, of course." Your voice squeaked at the feeling of your heart bursting out of your chest. His greeting was enough to kick the air out of your lungs but a whole conversation?! You didn't know how long you would last in his ever- intimidating presence.

-

It was already the last year in college and you were so determined to graduate with latin honors. Every single minute of your life, you dedicated it to studies, friends and family. They were all that mattered. And so you stayed until the wee hours at certain café spots around the university or at the library inside the campus. You went to meet up with friends during the weekends only for a simple dinner or lunch. You called your family members every chance you get during free time. That was your life. And you were content.

But then this boy came in to the picture.

"You will be partnered together and I shall assign the pair. Make sure you finish the written output, video presentation, and oral defense at the end of the semester." Those were the words of your professor during one of your classes before yours and his name were called out together.

You swore it was fate. Romance was really not in the forefront of your mind but as they say, "You'll find it best when you're not looking".

AND MY GOD WERE YOU SO WRONG!

This man named Ushijima Wakatoshi who came out from nowhere, looking as good they come, had no ounce of romance nor funny bone in his muscular body. He was the most dense, most serious, most infuriating man you've ever met in your whole life!!! He was a whole perfectionist, always so blunt at his comments about the outputs that you showed him. He was also so strict with the deadlines, not considering that you had other classes than this that had much more weight and importance.

You were so close to giving up but...

"Y/n?" You knew that voice only belonged to the certain antagonist in your story right now.

Your hands trembled as you wiped the tears streaming down your face after your meeting together at the library.

"Ushijima, hey!" You pretended to be your usual chirpy self as you turned around to face him.

It was already late so the lights surrounding the university casted an unworldly glow on his face. He was always so breathtaking no matter where you put him but damn those looks! He was just as heartless.

"Are you alright?" He asked with a worried tone.

"I'm fine. I'll be going home now. See you next week." You excused yourself.

"Wait." His cold fingers caught your arm and that made you stop your tracks.

"Is there a problem, Wakatoshi?"

He bowed his head before slowly releasing you in his grip. "I wanted to apologize for my behavior."

"W-what?" You wanted to make sure if what your ears heard was right. He does not seem the type to apologize.

You heard another deep sigh as he looked at you. "I've always been told that I come off too much to others. I didn't realize it until recently when one of my friends told me."

"Oh, well..."

"I'll try to be better though. I'll be more careful from now on. And I'm really sorry if I ever hurt your feelings in the past." He said with all seriousness that you can't help but sigh and just nod.

"You can be really mean sometimes." You agreed and chuckled, letting a tear escape your eyes.

"You've been crying." He stated flatly as if he was reciting a trivia. "I'm still so sorry."

You giggled. "Yeah, I forgive you. Anyway, it's getting late, Wakatoshi. We have to head home."

"I'll walk you home." He said with a finality in his voice. You were again, surprised by his actions but just agreed because this was such a draining day.

And as you were nearing where you stayed, you were again surprised at how comforting his presence was.

--

You did find his presence after that night relaxing. He became more tactful and he started to insert jokes during your meetings which shocked you so much the first time that he felt a little offended. You became such close friends that his team mates in volleyball were again, shocked that he managed to get a friend outside the team. It was just a matter of getting used to, you thought to yourself. He's just so honest, mechanical, and straightforward to a fault and you got to master how to tell him off when needed. He also developed to trust you so whenever he needed advice, he would always go to you and trust your honest words.

Looking at him now, it made your heart warm at how far he'd come. It's amazing to have known him then. To have seen how he grew as an athlete, a student, and a person. He may still be a little stiff but that's just the Wakatoshi you've come to love.

"Soo..." He started while sitting back down again after claiming his coffee from the counter. "I am not disturbing you, am I?" He pointed at the laptop and papers next to you.

You laughed. "Not at all! I finished them anyway."

"How have you been then?" He asked. His elbows were resting on the table and his hands were holding on to the cup of coffee. The sight was a little funny considering his giant built was leaned onto a very small table.

You smiled gently. "I've been good! I got the job that I dreamed of having and I own some businesses too. Ho--"

"Your eyes sparkle the same way." He cut off.

"What?" You asked, surprised at his random comment.

"Your eyes..." He pointed out. "They sparkle the same way they did in college when you were talking about something you like."

"How did you notice that?" You laughed.

"I'm known to be observant." He smirked slightly, taking a sip of his coffee.

"Okay, Mr. Oh-So-Observant, how are your matches going? I've been tuning in since the first tournament and it looks like you're going to the semi- finals!" You cheered not hiding your pride and excitement for the country's national volleyball team. When you searched on how to watch the live games, you insisted that you were there to cheer for the country and definitely NOT to cheer and simp for a certain brown- haired, serious player. Definitely NOT!

"You've been watching our games?" He asked, eyes slightly widening at the thought of you cheering for him. What he didn't know was that you were always watching his games since college, not missing even one match. You were always there, crying at how proud you were of him. Also, crying at how much he could never be yours.

"Of course, I have, silly!" You chuckled and pointed at your laptop. "I've been watching here and you're just so amazing and strong!"

He suddenly paused at your statement, silently raising a brow at you and smiling softly.

"I- I meant that your whole team is amazing and strong." You clarified, a blush automatically painting the whole of your face and ears.

"Would you like to go tomorrow?" He blinked, setting down his cup on the wooden surface. "To the game, I mean?"

Your eyes widened at his offer. "Are you serious?!"

He chuckled at your reaction. "Of course! We're allowed to bring spectators for the games, I'll just give you the tickets."

"Wow, Ushijima, thank you so much! It's an honor!" You chimed excitedly, jumping a little on your chair.

"The honor's mine." He replied, grinning at you.

He already knew back then that you were one of a kind. No one ever really stayed and tried to understand his demeanor and personality but you did. You were so honest and kind and you always knew what to do or say to keep him at ease. You accepted him for who he was and he's so thankful to have met such a beautiful soul. Even when you were doing nothing, even when you're just sitting across this table from him, without you knowing, you already made up his entire exhausting day. Hell, you made up all those exhausting years of not seeing each other since you two graduated. He suddenly imagined if being with you would always be like this. So peaceful and just pure bliss...

"You've got to be shitting on me! Is that Ushiwaka?" The pair sitting next to the glass walls of the café was oblivious of the red- haired tower and group of men walking past the street. All of them were wearing coats and casual attires as they're planning to go for lunch at their favorite restaurant for a little reunion. The all powerful Shiratorizawa Volleyball Team, headed by Ushijima in high school, cowered like puppies at the name of their captain being mentioned.

"Where?!" Goshiki stopped and shielded himself from an invisible force. "He said he couldn't make it!"

"I guess our baby's growing up, look!" Tendou hummed and pointed at the two of you laughing and looking at each other with heart eyes. "I bet they don't know that they're shooting hearts at each other."

"I never thought he could smile like that." Semi whispered.

"Yeah well, he's been crushing on that girl since college." Tendou filled the silent wonder of the whole group. "That's why she looked familiar! He kept sending me photos of them together studying or something..."

"Studying, my ass!" Shirabu laughed as they continued staring and hiding behind a post at the same time.

They all burst out laughing and again Tendou chuckled. "No seriously, they were studying!"

"Yeah well, they look good together. I hope he'd have the balls to ask her out. Please god!" Goshiki put his hands together as if seriously praying.

"Bet you 10, 000 yen, we'd be attending his wedding two years from now." Semi challenged.

"Nah, I'll go with a year." Tendou offered.

The men casted their bets on how long you and Ushijima would get married. They knew their captain so well to be sure enough that he was serious with you. Safe to say, Semi won the bet.

--

Reblogs are appreciated! <3

[robininthelabyrinth]

Curse-breaker (Chapter 4/4)

- ao3 -

“You know him, right?” Jiang Cheng asked Lan Xichen. He was trying not to appear as nervous as he felt in asking, but he was pretty sure he was failing. “Nie-gongzi?”

Lan Xichen smiled. “I do. And thank you for calling him that, he prefers it.”

There were those that had started calling him Curse-breaker, as if it were a proper title; Jiang Cheng had heard it said a few times, and while he didn’t personally disagree with the moniker, which seemed appropriate, he also knew better than to just drop it into a conversation.

Luckily. He was trying to make a good impression here.

“What’s he like?” Jiang Cheng blurted out, then immediately wanted to kick himself. “I mean – it’s just – I didn’t see him much when he visited the Lotus Pier –”

He was making it worse.

It was only that he’d never quite met anyone with so much presence as Nie Mingjue: taller even than Jiang Cheng’s father, with that strange eye that seemed to see everything and anything. His features were generally set in a neutral expression that made him seem almost unworldly, like some god untouched by human concerns, but which sometimes softened a little when he approved of something – or someone.

Jiang Cheng could feel his cheeks going red, and tried to suppress it.

“Mingjue-xiong liked you,” Lan Xichen said, and Jiang Cheng lost the battle at once, his whole face heating up until it felt unbearably hot. This was worse than the time that Nie Mingjue had come to the Lotus Pier and told his parents to value Jiang Cheng more or else, and then his father had come in with a smirk and a snarl and somehow made them do it. “He said so.”

“He did?”

“Oh, yes. He said you were talented and faithful, with a good heart, and that we’d see great things from you.”

Jiang Cheng was going to die.

“That’s nice,” he said, with an effort. “I thought very highly of him, too. He’s…great.”

Wow. ‘Great’. Was that really the best he could do?

Lan Xichen studied him for a moment, then nodded. “He really is,” he said, and sighed. “I had the same reaction, you know. He’s…a lot.”

Jiang Cheng felt seen. “I know,” he said effusively. “He’s just – you know?”

“I do,” Lan Xichen said. “Just –”

He waved his hand in the air. Not even making some sort of gesture, just a meaningless sort of wave, but for some reason Jiang Cheng understood him completely.

There really just weren’t words sometimes, when you wanted to describe things or people that inspired feelings that went beyond the merely describable. Nie Mingjue was one of those – Jiang Cheng had known that Lan Xichen would understand, and sure enough, he did.

And to think that Wei Wuxian liked Lan Wangji better!

Really, his shixiong might be more talented than Jiang Cheng in many ways, ways that were often a matter of jealousy, but Jiang Cheng clearly had better taste.

“Oh, there you are,” a voice said, and Jiang Cheng tensed and turned to look – but it was only Wen Qing, so that was fine. “Lan-gongzi, Jiang-gongzi, I was sent to spend some time with you.”

She probably meant that she was sent away so that the adults would have time to talk about issues they thought were too sensitive to involve the younger generation, or else they just wanted to start drinking earlier in the afternoon than usual and didn’t want her judging them from a medical standpoint. Either might be true – Wen Qing was widely acclaimed as one of the most talented in their generation, as terrifying with her needles as other people might be with their sword, from more or less the first moment she’d finally been allowed to join the rest of them on equal grounds.

They greeted her, trying to stand up to be polite, but she waved them down irritably and took a seat instead. “What are you two talking about?”

“Nie Mingjue,” Lan Xichen said, and Jiang Cheng nodded. “We were just commenting on his many admirable qualities.”

Jiang Cheng nodded a second time, even more emphatically.

Wen Qing looked at them both with that critical eye of hers for a long moment.

Then she sighed in a huff. “He’s really all that and more, isn’t he?” she said.

“He is,” Lan Xichen said.

“He’s just –” Jiang Cheng tried the same gesture as Lan Xichen earlier, and was gratified when Wen Qing started nodding herself in total agreement. “Right?”

“Right.”

-

Nie Mingjue was aware that many people liked to stare at them, but they had assumed it was because of how unusual they were – even putting aside the eye, which was their most obviously not-normal feature, their behavior was not always in line with regular people’s. They didn’t show their emotions on their face as easily, being more naturally inclined towards sternness, and their manner was both sharp and incisive, straightforward and blunt; they had missed critical years of social development while lost in what amounted to seclusion, too busy solidifying their sense of self, consolidating their we into an I.

(They were still trying to figure out gender, a process complicated by the fact that it hadn’t made much sense to either of them to begin with. They were starting to suspect it would be better to just give up on it entirely.)

It turned out, according to Nie Huaisang, that that was not why all those people were staring.

“When you say they like me…”

“Sexually or romantically attracted, usually both,” Nie Huaisang said. “You have a lot of would-be suitors. Lan Xichen, Jiang Cheng, Wen Qing, Wen Ning, Jiang Yanli –”

“I don’t think you’re supposed to use their names directly like that,” Nie Mingjue said, though they weren’t sure about that. They’d forgotten more etiquette than they’d ever learned. “Also, isn’t Jiang Yanli getting married to Jin Zixuan?”

“He’s another of your admirers. As is Meng Yao…no, sorry, Jin Ziyao. You know he secretly thinks that you killed Jin Guangshan for him, right?”

They’d killed Jin Guangshan because he was rotten through and through, and he didn’t even have a qi deviation or a tormenting heart demon to blame for it. He just thought of people as things, even the ones he supposedly liked, and acted accordingly…they hadn’t really thought through the consequences of killing him when they’d done it, having long ago forgotten the concept of political considerations, but it was really amazing what could be covered up or excused if multiple sect leaders put their minds to it while the rest just breathed a sigh of relief that Jin Guangshan was gone.

“That seems like too many people,” they said. “They can’t all be my…admirers.”

“You think that’s it? I haven’t even gotten to Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian – both at once, if that’s your preferred flavor – and even that feral child Jin Ziyao found in Kuizhou…you know just the other week, he loudly declared that you were better than sweets and the entire room sighed all at once in agreement?”

“Don’t be ridiculous.”

“I’m not. There are even rumors that say that Sect Leader Wen might be interested…”

They shrugged.

Nie Huaisang squinted at them. “Da-ge. Did you know about that one?”

“Sect Leader Wen is not subtle,” they said dryly. “But if it makes you feel better, his interest is purely a matter of cultivation, and also our father has already hit him for even making the suggestion.”

Nie Huaisang didn’t look impressed. “Are you sure it’s purely a matter of cultivation? Would you be able to tell if it wasn’t?”

Nie Mingjue considered how little they’d recognized any of the other people who were purportedly interested in them. “No,” they admitted.

“Hmm. What about Teacher Lan?”

“What about Teacher Lan?” they asked, suspicious.

“Nothing, nothing. Just something I read somewhere…”

Probably one of those spring books that he was always sneaking around, they concluded.

“Though…you have been going out of your way to meet up with Teacher Lan more often recently…”

“He’s helping me figure out some of the bureaucratic intricacies of changing succession,” they said. “He’s had the most experience, having to do it twice – once to get his brother out of the line of succession, and another to get him back in. He’s a good teacher.”

He was, too. For all of Nie Huaisang’s tall tales about Lan Qiren’s strictness and overly-rigid insistence on orthodoxy, the man himself had a very calming presence, still and tranquil. It made them think of a musical instrument and, using the Nie cultivation method as a base, start to think strange thoughts…

Though not the sorts of thoughts Nie Huaisang had in mind.

“I mean, I guess. Even I learned eventually, and – wait. Why do you need to know about how to change succession? You’re already the heir.”

“That’s the problem,” Nie Mingjue said. “I need to figure out how to abdicate my position in your favor.”

Nie Huaisang gaped at him.

“No, I’m not joking,” they said, because they knew their little brother. “I’m not suited for politics. I don’t think I ever was, and after everything that happened, I’m even less suited.”

They really weren’t. Too blunt, too sharp, too concerned with justice, too inhuman – they were good at fighting, in the sense that they knew how to be a saber as well as a human and could wield sharpness in the same way, a slash from their fingers being enough to cleave a man in half, but that wasn’t what being a sect leader was about.

No, Nie Huaisang would be much better at it.

“Da-ge, you can’t do this to me!” Nie Huaisang wailed. “Do you know how much work it’d be? Anyway, you can’t – our father’s already promised all of Qinghe Nie to your future spouse! So there!”

“Then I just won’t ever get married.”

“What?!” Nie Huaisang waved his hands wildly. “You can’t do that! You – you – do you know how many hearts you’d be breaking?!”

“So you’ve informed me,” Nie Mingjue said dryly. “It’s all right, Huaisang. I rather like the life Teacher Lan has made for himself, traveling all around and coming back every few seasons to teach something. I want to fight evil, and there’s a lot more evil out there than there is in here.”

Or, at minimum, there was more evil of the sort they were allowed to just stab. That was apparently frowned upon, in politics – there was a reason they said they weren’t suited for it.

“You’re not suited for fighting evil with a blade,” they added while Nie Huaisang was still spluttering. “But you can do wonders with people, if you’re given enough time to plan it. Being sect leader will put you in the position that will let you fight evil best, in your own way.”

“Not everything is about fighting evil, da-ge!”

“Isn’t it?”

Nie Huaisang didn’t seem to have a good answer to that.

After a while, he finally said, “…you really think I’d be good at it?”

Nie Mingjue pulled their younger brother in for a hug.

“You’ll be magnificent,” they promised.

-

They liked travel, just as they’d suspected they would.

People always recognized them – the eye was very distinctive, and they were also very tall – and immediately rushed over to share all their problems. They were very happy to help. Some of them they could fix personally, generally the ones that were stabbable, while they had a wide enough set of acquaintances to deal with many of the others: those who needed healing to go to the Lan sect or Wen sect, depending on whether problem was mental or physical; those that needed advancement to the Jin sect or Jiang sect; mysteries to be solved to the newly established Wei sect over in Yiling; and anyone with anything more abstruse than that over to Nie Huaisang personally to sort of.

Their little brother liked a good puzzle.

As for Nie Mingjue’s part, they liked fighting evil, and they liked helping people, too, if they could manage it, so it all worked out quite well. The road could be a little lonely at times, all alone with no one around, but it wasn’t really that bad. They were welcome at just about every cultivation sect and most of the other places they’d passed by, so it wasn’t like they were lacking for company if they wanted it.

It was only sometimes that they wished that there was someone else who might want to share this type of life with them.

It was a difficult life, always roving and never satisfied, intent on fighting evil for an eternity and prizing the doing of it over normal things, everyday things; they knew that they couldn’t ask someone else to take on a mission so absurd as stamping out all evil in the world, and so they didn’t. Who would be so foolish as that? Not everyone could leave behind all their responsibilities and ties to the world the way they did, passing instead through their beloved one’s lives by chance like a leaf tossed in the wind – nor should they, if those ties gave them joy.

Take their current mission, for example. One of Nie Mingjue’s earlier trips had taken them from Yiling to the Baixue Temple, with the highly unorthodox Wei sect’s equally unorthodox head disciple, Xue Yang, tagging along with them so that they could – in Wei Wuxian’s words – beat some sense into his head, and it had been on that trip that they had met Song Lan, who was thoroughly charmed by the idea of a sect established on principles of brotherhood rather than blood.

He'd also been rather charmed, they thought, by Xue Yang himself, and the interest had been mutual.

(They were getting better at recognizing that sort of thing.)

So Song Lan had gone off with them, with Nie Mingjue dropping both him and Xue Yang back in Yiling, and when he’d gone back again another time they had seemed very happy. But Song Lan had been thinking about his master and martial brothers back at home, and he’d asked if Nie Mingjue would be willing to carry along some letters that he didn’t dare trust to the post.

Nie Mingjue, suspecting a request regarding marriage was involved, had readily agreed. Sure enough, once they’d dropped it off, the entire Baixue Temple had all but exploded in excitement – they’d barely managed to make it out of there in time to avoid being dragged into all the fuss.

And now they were wandering around nearby, shaking their head in amusement at all the noise they’d left behind, looking for something more interesting to do. Some evil to fight, or something like that.

They found both.

“Well, that was exhilarating,” they commended to the cultivator in white that had worked together with them to defeat a rather astounding number of evil creatures in an effort to save some rogue cultivators who’d gotten in over their heads. Nie Mingjue’s reputation was already ridiculous, and was only going to get worse, they knew, but really this was a lot even for them. They wouldn’t have been able to manage it without help.

“It was,” the cultivator said, and smiled at them. “My name is Xiao Xingchen, disciple of Baoshan Sanren. Who are you?”

“Nie Mingjue,” they said. They thought they’d heard of Baoshan Sanren before, but they weren’t entirely sure – they had a tendency to forget things that weren’t that important to them. They thought it might be something to do with Wei Wuxian’s mother –something to do with the immortal mountain, and a doom that fell on those who descended from it…?

“If you don’t mind me asking, why did those rogue cultivators call you Curse-breaker?” Xiao Xingchen asked.

They thought about it for a moment, then shrugged.

Xiao Xingchen laughed.

It was a warm sound.

“Where are you going?” Nie Mingjue asked. “I can escort you, if you like.”

“Don’t you have things of your own to be doing?”

“Not really,” Nie Mingjue said. “I want to eradicate all evil in this world, a task that’ll take me a lifetime – and evil can be found anywhere. Why not with you?”

Xiao Xingchen ducked his head. “I don’t have a destination either,” he admitted. “I came down from the mountain because I wanted to help save all the people in the world.”

Nie Mingjue blinked. That was nearly as stupidly idealistic a goal as theirs.

“Well, then,” they said, and smiled. “In that case, why don’t we go together?”

It would be nice to have company, unrestrained by any obligations tied to the mortal world, and in return they could show Xiao Xingchen everything there was to see – introduce him to all the people, eat all the food, fight all the battles. And if in the end it turned out that that doom people talked about in regards to the mountain really was a thing…

Well, they’d see about that.

After all, Nie Mingjue had a bit of experience with curses like that.

[fairestwriting]

Saw your ask about the s/o wanting to ask out the vice dorm leader, and the dorm leader tries to help out, but falls for them instead? How about the same situation, but with the rest of the dorm leaders not listed in that one?

thank you so much for giving me an excuse to write more of this (anon is referring to this post!) also i will be counting ruggie as a vice dorm leader to do leona in this, and wont be doing idia because the one other ignihyde member is a whole Baby

+ ko-fi link, if anyone feels like financially supporting my writing

Leona Kingscholar

So you’re the unfortunate soul who ended up, for a reason or another, teaming up with Ruggie often to do Leona’s bidding.

You were uneasy about it at first. Ruggie would talk often about how the lion was such a pain in the ass, you were expecting so many bad things when you had just become his... sort of coworker. But somehow, Leona ends up being rather pleasant towards you.

Leona himself doesn’t know why that happens, you just don’t really grate on his nerves. Maybe it’s because you’re so harmless, innoffensive in a way that isn’t weak and obnoxious. Yeah, he really doesn’t hate you.

So when your crush on Ruggie begins to feel hopeless, like you just couldn't get your feelings through to him no matter what hints you dropped, you take a deep breath, and decide to ask Leona for help.

Leona looks at you blankly when you blurt out the question, and you immediately apologize, telling him to forget what you just said because it was something stupid. Surprisingly, a lopsided smile appears in Leona’s face. So you were into Ruggie? Was that why you were always running around with him to help Leona?

He likes you enough to tease you about your crush, so he does -- And somehow, in the end of the conversation, he ends up agreeing to setting you two up. He’s weirded out when he catches himself actually willing to do you a favor, but figures that, eh, why not, that couldn’t be too hard. It might be good for him, even, if Ruggie was dating someone maybe he'd nag Leona way less.

You two have a couple conversations at the garden about how you were planning to approach the situation. You tell him about how you'd been trying to hint at your feelings for the longest time, but it all just seemed to fly over Ruggie's head. Leona finds this impossibly funny. So he was oblivious?

Leona is likely older and more experienced with relationships with you, so he ends up just giving you some general advice on how you could act more straightforward. You're having trouble just imagining how to do things through his descriptions of actions, so you two end up sort of... mimic-flirting.

He says things he'd usually say if he wanted to get someone's attention, and tells you to try to keep up with him as practice. If you could be blunt, maybe it'd finally hit Ruggie that you liked him. Somehow, it's sort of fun to do this, he hadn't really found someone who caught his interest in a while, so Leona hadn't really flirted with anyone since then. He's kind of pleasantly surprised at how amusing this is, even though he still acts prickly with you, telling you not to get the wrong idea about him, he's just trying to get Ruggie to nag him less.

You have these meetings for a while, the practice banter ends up becoming natural, so natural Leona finds himself calling you his friend in his head, looking forward to seeing you, even. What the hell got to him? He doesn't know, but it's been a long time since he's had this much fun.

One day, you're having one of your "practice sessions" and you finally decide that you had built up the resolve to straight up ask Ruggie out. When you say that, Leona's face goes blank. So you were going already?

He goes back to normal in just a second, a smirk showing up on his face as he patted you on the head. Look at you, you're confident enough to get together with Ruggie, now! You've come so far. He gives you some words of praise that you appreciate greatly, proud of yourself for your progress and actually getting close to the grumpy dorm leader of Savanaclaw, but when you turn around his smile falls into a tired expression.

Why does he suddenly feel depressed? There's no way he'd get attached to some random herbivore that didn't even have the guts to ask someone out. Right? He's assuring himself that in his head, but even that sounds like a lie...

Leona can just laugh. Really, he's the lowest of the low, isn't he? He had actually gotten attached to your little games, how stupid. He's taking this to his grave, he hopes he can sleep off this disgusting feeling in his chest now that Ruggie will have someone else to take care of...

Kalim Al-Asim

A friend of Jamil’s is a friend of Kalim’s too! He’s so elated the first time he sees you around the Scarabia lounge talking to him, he insists on throwing a big party, and that’s your introduction to Kalim.

You were just Jamil’s friend, nothing more, nothing less. Maybe you're in the same class, or in the same club, something like that, and you just ended up getting along better between yourselves than with other students. Jamil was clearly more relaxed around you.

The issue was, as you got to see more of him, you were starting to fall for him, and you were falling hard -- And even as you got to know each other, Jamil was so mysterious and almost untouchable, even as he seemed to be just a regular guy. You didn't know how you could possibly just walk up to him and confess.

In your desperation, you decide to have a talk with Kalim about it -- He's the closest person to Jamil, right? And he was so friendly, maybe he could give you some pointers.

When Kalim hears about your problem, though, he isn't satisfied with just giving you some pointers, no way. He's so excited to know his newest and oldest friend might get together, he wants to make sure you two are matchmaked perfectly! Kalim promises he'll help you plan the perfect date!

You're dragged into meeting up pretty much everyday before you can notice it. Kalim grabs your arm, all giggly, and takes you to his room, asking to sit on the bed with him as he asks you all sorts of questions about you and Jamil. It feels like a tween girl sleepover, it's pretty embarrassing to just talk about your feelings and the moments you've spent together out loud, but Kalim never makes fun of you for it at all, he's so happy to listen it's just easy to talk and talk and talk...

After he knows some more about you and Jamil, you start brainstorming date ideas. Of course, the suggests throwing a big party for you two at first, but you quickly refuse that, saying Jamil would prefer something more discreet, which gets Kalim thinking...

There aren't a lot of good dating spots in campus or even around it that Kalim knows, so he makes the decision that you two need to go exploring, hunting for what would be the perfect one for you and Jamil!

So you two walk all around campus, asking each other for input on places you think might be nice. You think a picnic in the woods near the school might be nice, but Kalim thinks it could be better, and you two end up sneaking out to outside NRC.

He has such a blast with you, visiting cafés and restaurants and walking around at the park. You always have this look of wonder in your face when you're with him, and he knows it's because you're thinking about someone else, but even that gets his heart racing, you're so dedicated.

Eventually, you find a small, cozy restaurant just nearby enough that Jamil would accept going to with you. Kalim says he wants to eat there just to test things out, and you two get dinner together. When you do, you're so comfortable around Kalim that you can't stop talking about Jamil, and even then he can't help but stare at you with this big smile on your face, he thinks you're so wonderful -- But, ah, that's such a bad thing for him to think about.

You end up taking his hand as you leave the place together, and he feels his heart twist with a bittersweet feeling. You're talking about each detail of the date plan you'd put in practice soon, and Kalim can't help but think about how much he wishes you were talking about him.

When he leaves you at your dorm's doorstep, Kalim is holding back tears you can't see because of how dark it is. He tells you you're so happy for you, and he wishes you and Jamil the best, giving you a big hug before he walks back to Scarabia, and he smiles even as tears spill from his eyes. He wanted to tell you what he was feeling, but he just couldn't bring himself to -- All he has left is just hoping Jamil treats you well.

[primergon]

Greetings!! I’m– new to the your blog but I was intrigued by the open matchups that were popping about so I’d like to ask if I can get a TFP Con Matchup

I’m a trans male, bisexual and 5’4. I don’t particularly have any unique besides the fact that I just tend to wear a lot of oversized hoodies (because it’s comfy) and have just– brown eyes and dark brown hair that often gets mistaken for black hair.

I am a man who tends to be very confident about myself but I tend to worry about what others think about me a lot. On the surface, I seem rather lazy about things but if there is work to be done, you can expect me to finish it immediately if I’m given the task. I also tend to be very protective of the people I love and will not hesitate to fight for them. I’m also very apologetic over small things I do, like accidentally brushing into someone or just touching them accidentally, even if it wasn’t my fault necessarily.

I tend to be a “switch” or two-faced when it comes to personalities, but it depends on the person that I’m acknowledging or talking to that allows me to gradually change around them, whether it is through first introductions or knowing me for a while.

On the surface, or normally I tend to be respectful, cautious, and really careful with my words in consideration to the person I’m talking to but I only tend to speak when they’ve engaged in conversation with me– so in short, mostly quiet. I tend to use a lot of sarcasm and sound tired a LOT, which can be accidental (but also because I don’t sleep a lot so it makes me kind of dead inside-sounding) but on the other side of me, I am a 180° sometimes. I tend to be either a silently vibrate in place, excited-type person or a person who is just moderately loud and tends to be very needy for attention (though I won’t ask out of respect). I sometimes just find entertainment out of the smallest things and details so to see me admiring something because of its design (like hands– particularly strange but I’m an artist so it fascinates me) with sparkly eyes is not much of a surprise. I like writing as a past-time hobby, and doing art whenever I please but I also enjoy listening to music, watching animated shows (that I can poke fun and laugh about but also ramble on for hours about), reptiles and dragons, and other such!

Generally, I can also be a “switch” or a “flip” as well when it comes to using my noggin sometimes, when it comes to speaking. You either get a dense and blunt version of me, who doesn’t acknowledge words quick enough and says something accidentally out of the question or you either get the literate version of me, who speaks with a tone that sounds like I’m writing a formative essay.

But with the benefit of both sides of that, you also get the two for one deal– where you’ll either hear me geek out about music, shows, or other such ORRR you get the part where I tend to be philosophical over the littlest of things, whether it’s about life or just something small.

But in both cases when I tend to ramble on or talk for hours, I tend to immediately stop at one point and just turn slowly back to the person I speak with and ask, “sorry am I talking to much?”

(But yeah that’s uh– for me, sorry if it’s too long and confusing.)

A/N : Hi Anon ! I hope you're doing well, thank you for sending in your ask ! (｡𓎆 𓎺 𓎆) I think I'll match you up with tfp dreadwing <3

TFP DREADWING

01| Ever since Skyquake's passing, things haven't been quite the same for Dreadwing. While he does put up this strong and fearless facade, the seeker finds himself overwhelmed by the current state of the war. There is no room for vulnerability within the Decepticon ranks, which is one of the many reasons why he gravitated towards you. It took you a while to finally grow comfortable around such an intimidating mech. While both of you were naturally reserved, Dreadwing was the first to engage in conversations with you. He does carry this sense of responsibility for the team, so he'd ask you about your wellbeing even if you were more or less a captive aboard the Nemesis. One thing lead to another and you eventually find yourself in a relationship with the commander.

02| If there's one thing you appreciate about Dreadwing is that he is honest. He doesn't beat around the bush and will tell you things in a straightforward manner, which makes him a very good source of comfort whenever you feel insecure about yourself. The seeker doesn't get tired of encouraging you and it makes you feel better, knowing that he is sincere with every word. ( You can't look at him in the eye every time he calls you handsome.) Dreadwing also appreciates how versatile you are with giving advice, knowing when to be curt and thorough.

03| Although his attempts at romancing you may come off as awkward, you appreciate the effort nonetheless. He likes spending quality time with you. Given his influence over Megatron's army, it's not often that he gets to have the whole day to himself. But when he does, he'll choose to spend it with you. Dreadwing likes to listen to you ramble. If you worry about boring him, you don't have to. He's captivated by the way your eyes shine at almost everything. The smile against his faceplates, whenever you're amused over small things, is the most loving you ever see the seeker. He finds it endearing that you get excited over certain shows or your new playlist. Dreadwing can also be somewhat charming, engaging with you in philosophical debates but never turning it into an argument. He's a true gentleman that loves to watch you draw and write. You'll even catch him getting invested on the show you're watching, remembering which episode you left off the night before.

04| He likes how respectful you are when it comes to everyone, although he would be lying if he said he didn't like your snarky side. The way you always seem to top Starscream's sarcasm making him smile to himself. Whenever you look or sound tired, Dreadwing will always be by your side, asking you what's wrong. You assure him it's all good. He may not be the most outwardly affectionate person, but he won't say no to you when you feel clingy. Spoiling you to the point where your cheeks start to burn.

05| Although arguments seldom arise, they do happen from time to time. Dreadwing is inflexible and stubborn, he likes to stay on track and can't stand watching you delay your work right before its due date. This would often lead to a lot of nagging from him, which would lead to disagreements from you. However, you always prove to him that even if your methods may be unorthodox, you get the work done. Saying sorry came easy for you, and it may be a bit harder for Dreadwing to do, but he's always trying his best to adjust. He understands that it's time for him to make room for another person in his life, and for you, he'd gladly change for the better.

06| Dreadwing values loyalty and so it warms his spark to see you stand up for him against a group of Vehicons. He quickly interfered to save you ( not before sending the rest of the mechs to the brig.) You were the catalyst that drove him into defecting the war. It took a while to convince him to fight with the Autobots, but in the end he accepted Optimus's offer. His loyalties have changed. He no longer wants to serve a cause that destroys everything in its path, now he wants to serve the one that'll give him a chance to create a life with you. A cause that'll keep you safe.

I hope you enjoy this Anon ! xx

[haikyuucute]

Love Letters (Ushijima Wakatoshi)

Summary: For the first time ever, Ushijima feels insecure about his relationship with you

Warning: Mild angst

Ushijima Wakatoshi wasn’t the romantic type.

He was straightforward, blunt, and honest about pretty much everything.

So it was quite amazing to everyone that he not only got a girlfriend, but she actually stayed once she realized how unromantic he was.

You really didn’t mind it though, you liked how he was, even if that meant he was a bit callous. Did you sometimes wish he could be just a little romantic? Of course. You thought a surprise date every once in a while couldn’t hurt— or even if he initiated any kind of physical affection more often than he did (which wasn’t often.)

But you felt safe with him, and even though he didn’t show it often, you knew he loved you as much as you loved him.

Another thing about Ushijima was that he didn’t get jealous. He felt he had no reason to be, he was secure with your relationship and trusted you enough to not go after other guys while you were with him.

But right now, Ushijima was jealous.

For the past few weeks you had been receiving love letters from an anonymous person. He didn’t think much of it, until he found them in your desk, and that was when he realized you had actually kept the letters.

He had been waiting in your dorm for you when he opened your desk to grab a pen, when he saw the stack of letters he assumed you were throwing away this whole time.

For once, curiosity got the better of him and he pulled the five letters out. He wanted to know why you were keeping them.

He opened the first one, which read:

Dear (L/N)-san,

I’ve never written a love letter before, but here goes.

I like you, a lot.

I have liked you for a very long time too and I feel like these feelings have been bottled up for too long now. You’re always on my mind. The memory of your smile and laugh always lingers in the back of my head. You’re the first person I think about when I wake up and go to sleep.

I know you’re with Ushijima-san and I don’t intend to get in the way of you two, I just needed you to know how I feel. Sadly, I’m too much of a coward to tell you this in person, but I hope you’ll accept these feelings regardless.

Love,

Your secret admirer

Ushijima frowned, moving onto the next one.

Dear (L/N)-san,

I know I didn’t get a reply back from you which I understand why. I told myself I wasn’t going to write to you again but I couldn’t help it.

I just wanted to let you know, that I think you’re stunning in every which way. From your beautiful smile and sparkling eyes to your kind heart and sweet personality, you have always made my days shine brighter. I hope you know just how beautiful you are.

I know I can’t be with you, but I am so thankful that I was able to have these feelings for someone so wonderful.

Love,

Your secret admirer

He slipped the next two, picking up the last one you got.

Dear (L/N)-san,

Writing these letters to you has built up my confidence to speak with you in person.

So if it isn’t too much of a bother, can you meet me up on the rooftop after school this Friday?

I’ll be waiting.

Love,

Your secret admirer

Ushijima’s eyes snapped up to the clock on your desk.

It was Friday and school had gotten out twenty minutes ago.

And now was the first time Ushijima ever felt insecure about his lack of romance.

Writing letters were certainly something Ushijima had never done for you, and now he was starting to wonder if you liked it.

If you liked hearing how beautiful and stunning you were from someone who would say it more often than he did.

He was about to drop the letter to go up to the roof in an attempt to find you and whoever your secret admirer was, when your door swung open.

”Hey Waka-kun— sorry I took so long, you’ll never guess what happened-“ you stopped, tilting your head to the side as you recognized the letters sprawled out on your bed and the one in his hand. “Oh— you found the love letters.” You commented.

Ushijima glanced down at the letter in his hand before saying, “You kept them.”

”Oh!” You jumped, “I’m sorry, do you want me to throw them out?”

”...Why’d you keep them?”

You blushed, feeling a little guilty. If you had known that keeping them would bother him, you would’ve thrown them out.

You shrugged, “I dunno. I thought they were sweet, and it took a lot for him to write. Throwing them out at the time just felt cruel.”

”Do you like them?”

”Well yeah— who wouldn’t like being called beautiful and hearing how much someone likes you, right?” You laughed awkwardly, “But if it bothers you, I can toss them.”

You walked over to him, about to pull the letter from his hand when his hand suddenly wrapped around your wrist, pulling you into him.

You stumbled forward with a yelp onto his lap and he brought you close to him in a tight hug, his chin on top of your head.

“Waka—“

”I think you’re beautiful too.”

”Are you oka—“

”—and stunning.”

You paused, suddenly realizing how uneasy the letters made him.

”Aw Waka-kun,” you muttered, burying your face in his neck, “I know you do.”

”If I don’t say it, how will you know?”

”I just will. But I won’t lie, it feels nice to be reminded,” you said, cuddling against him further.

He sighed as his insecurities washed away, his arms wrapping around you tighter.

”Then I’ll make sure to remind you.”

[yulight]

Just one date

Description: You’re friends set you up on a blind date, swearing he your type but he younger than you. WARNINGS: Noona/older reader, a glass of wine, that's kind of it  SOFT SAN, cute san, fluffy. Gentle. shy cute , wow much soft. i want to give kisses wow  

Genre : Fluff, Non idol au Word Count:1714 Pairing: Choi San x Female Reader

You sat in your room, with your friend who helped you with your hair. She was straightening your hair, since naturally your hair had some slight curls and waves, they always annoyed so she happily agreed to straighten your hair as she told you about your date for the night. ”Y/N I’m telling you, he is everything you said you wanted in a guy. listen he is a barista, he is well built but not a big buff man. I was told he has a great sense of human and not a trashy one like your ex Mark” You let out a small laugh at your friends ramble of the random man who your meeting tonight “if he so perfect leave Chan for him” 

Your friend let out a playful gasp “as I could ever, leave Chan please if he even thinks about breaking up with me I’ll just be like Sike so what do you want for dinner” you both let out a laugh as you hummed softly “okay, so how old is he?” your friend made a weird sound as you looked at her through the mirror “.. How old is he Sana” She let out a small sigh as she muttered softly under her breath “he a 99 liner but listen okay, he is not that much younger than you please give him a chance okay?”

if it wasn't for the hot straighter in Sana’s hand you would have turned around and hit her with the pillow that laid in your lap. You hated yourself because he sounded so perfect yet one single flaw, being his age you never liked dating a male younger than you. You groan “Just one date that all he gets, I can't deal with someone younger they are always so clingy in the wrong ways” 

Sana couldn't help but to laugh as she Turn the hair straightener off placing it onto the table to cool off “of please if you aren't the clingiest girlfriends to exist, Please stop worrying about his age okay? he really not that much younger than you by all plus he a Cancer so be gentle with him” You rolled your eyes as Sana lay back onto your bed. “Y/N, please don’t make choices before the date okay? have fun with him tonight, I swear on everything minus him being just a little younger than you he perfect for you”

“How did you even find him?” you tilted your head to look at Sana who was on her phone now.

“through Chan’s friend Hyunjin, they dance together. oh yeah he dances as well, i forgot to add that'' Sana looked away from her phone giving you a goofy smile. “just remember his Name is Choi San and,”  before Sana finished her sentence she got the text from Chan saying they were on their way to the restaurant, Sana threw herself up in a panic as she grabbed your arm. “okay! let's go the boys are heading out now”

 The Restaurant was a quick drive.. at least with Sana driving it was. you swore whenever she drives your whole life flashes before your eyes at least ten times. Stepping out of the car, she would shove you into the restaurant, as Chan stood outside. You thought Sana and Chan would be Joining you on the date, however they seem to change their minds and let you and San get to know each other.

as you slowly peeked around the corner you saw exactly what Sana meant, He was charming- no, he was beautiful he looked like something out of a fairytale he true life prince. you would take a deep breath as you step forward. “San?” The Blonde hair male would turn around giving a bright smile, his eyes  forming into cute crescents.

“Ah yes, so that makes you Y/N” You gave a faint nod as you looked up at him smiling. “yeah -” 

“Table for 2 for San” the Host called out, cutting you off before you could finish what you were saying, honestly you were really thankful for the waiter saving you from embarrassment. San Would nudge his head forward as he held his hand out. You smiled softly before grabbing his arm, he gave a small shrug as you both followed the host to your table. 

This was obviously chan and sana doing, the table was pretty far away from other tables with a view out the window to the city that lit up so beautifully at night.

“The View is nice, but honestly the one in front of me is a lot better than the one out of the window” Your hand would cover your mouth as you looked over at San who Sat in front of you calming playing with his empty wine glass. You had no idea how to reply to such a blunt and straightforward comment, his voice sounded sincere and genuine rather than cocky and taunting like most. 

“I.. thank you, i mean you look good yourself i..” you let out a small groan mentally hitting your head against the table. And this is why when you're single Y/N you have no idea how to speak. San let out a soft chuckle making you look up at him. “Please you’re so adorable” Your face would turn a light shade of pink. 

“Could I interest you both in a glass of wine? Today we have a fine red wine” The waiter looked down at the both of you . San would look over at you before looking at the waiter. 

“Could I actually get a white wine please? Preferably a Moscato” you spoke up as you looked at the waiter

the waiter looked over at San “Do you have Bartenura Moscato?” You mentally cursed under your breath there was no way possible that San just so happened to like the same exact Moscato wine, it had to be something Sana said . “Yes of course we do, would it be the same for the both of you”

San gave a small nod as the waiter walked off to grab the ordered wine .You looked at him as if you were scanning him for something “It was a tip from Sana”.

“I knew it, there's no way you just so happen to know the wine Sana and I Drink” You let out a small laugh before looking back at the waiter who was pouring you both a cup of wine.  With that he simply walked away giving you both time to figure out what to order. You grabbed your sipping from it. The soft fruity taste of the wine danced on your taste buds, it had to be your favorite beverage outside of tea. You felt a bit awkward since Sana already explained so much about him you didn't know what to ask or to say. 

“So, outside of you being a barista and dancing Hyunjin what else do you do?” you question a bit as you picked up the menu looking through it. 

“Well, um I play some video games every once in a while, i mostly take care of my dog Shiber that's kind of it, i don’t have the most interesting life to say the least'' his voice was soft and honest it really annoyed you how he was younger than you. Why couldn't he be the same age or older, you always liked dating someone older, however looking at sana and chan she was a year older than him and they were happy. So maybe it won't that be? Maybe you could give San a chance outside of this date. 

“Y/N” san called out a few times actually but only the last one you heard as you shook your head lightly before looking away from the menu looking at him “Huh sorry, i ..think i know what i want, sorry.. Ah what did you say” you let out a nervous chuckle as he titled his head to look at you. “I asked what about you, Chan really didn't tell me much he kinda told me that sana really thought the both of us would like each other “ 

“Oh, well I’m a florist with Sana, I spend most of my extra time reading books and relaxing. Sometimes I go out for runs.. to be honest so I guess I don't have an interesting life as well” you gave a small nod as you spoke. You and san carried on with a good amount of small talk making jokes and laughing. 

The waiter had appeared refilling both of your glasses, getting your orders leaving You and San talking about the random things that came to mind, compliments leaving his lips every once in a while saying how your laugh is cute or just saying how you look great. The mixture of the wine and his compliments made sure your face was bright red by now. 

Just as your desert had arrived your phone buzzed on the table from a text, as you looked over at San who seemed to also just get a text message. You both shrugged lightly guessing it was Chan and Sana. picking up your phones you would look at the text, rolling your eyes you would read the text from Sana.

“Hey ok, so do you like him? Yall going on a second date? Anyways we are outside um, get ya asses out here” San would let out a small laugh as he read his text 

“what does your say” you lean over curious

“Chan said, to kiss the princess goodbye her ride is outside, what about yours”

You couldn't help but to laugh rolling your eyes. “Ah mine says that they are outside and that she just asked me if i .. i like you and if were going on a second date”

San would take a fork full of the lava cake as he raised it to your lips “i would like to know the answer to that as well? Well”

You taking the bite of the lava cake you couldn't help but you smile, you couldn’t believe what you were gonna say “Sure, i mean, tonight was great so another date would be amazing” 

“So i’ll take that as you like me, good because i kinda like you “

[keijikunn]

Fate’s work

Pairing: Iwaizumi Hajime x fem!reader (there’s a slightly platonic Oikawa x reader but anyway) Genre: a big mess of angst and fluffy and I don’t even know anymore Summary: you and Hajime have initiated a concluded two cycles of life together: elementary and middle school passed by in a breeze. Now, high school graduation was approaching faster than you wanted and a statement terrifies you: Iwaizumi Hajime will not start the college cycle beside you Word count: ~3.5k

Author’s note: well well well it’s me after a while to post something out of blue! Special thanks to @hidden-otaku-stuff​ @toorusushijima​

WARNING: none

If you enjoy it please leave a comment or a reblog!! 

The first time you saw Iwaizumi Hajime was when his best friend – and soon to be yours as well – had hit your face with a volleyball during a p.e class. Oikawa Tooru still thinks it was a funny incident, despite the fact he bawled his eyes out at the sight of blood coming from your nose. Iwa, being the responsible kid he has always been, called the teacher to help you out – while calm down his crying friend.

Later that day, after the club activities, the two boys searched you in every class of their grade so Oikawa could (quoting the exact same words Iwaizumi said) “to apologize to her because of your clumsy self, Idiotkawa”. They just found you by the gates, your face didn’t look swollen neither did your nose appeared to be in a weird position – which Tooru thanked the skies, he definitely wouldn’t be able to deal with the fact he broke someone else’s nose (not that it was possible given the fact he was 6).

“C’mon Oikawa, say it” Hajime demanded pushing the other boy towards you, catching your attention.

“Oh, you’re the boy who spiked on my face” you stated before cracking a teasing smile. “I thought it was cool, until you started to cry. I wondered if you felt my pain by the way you were screaming”

“Hey!” Tooru whined, which made you and Hajime laugh even harder. “I was worried and came here to apologize, but I take everything back”

“You haven’t even said anything, idiot” Iwaizumi snickered, eyeing you as you proceeded to laugh once again. For a young boy, hajime wondered why his chest felt so warm watching you smile with something he had said.

“It’s fine, Oikawa-kun, right?” your laughter died down a bit, a hand raising to your face and poking your nose lightly. “It hurt quite a lot- but it already passed! See? I can touch it without feeling pain. And the name is L/n Y/n, so if any of you try to kill me with a ball, you can apologize properly”

Oikawa kept complaining, as the years passed by, that you just joined their little group of friends because you and Iwaizumi bounded by bullying him. The other boy would snort at that comment and proceed to tease him, while you’d laugh at their interaction. Ever since Iwaizumi Hajime was 6 years old, he had found your laugh one of the best sounds he had ever heard. And up until today he still agrees with it.

On the next day, you found the two boys at the same spot they talked on the previous day. You could tell oikawa was whining at something iwaizumi said and couldn’t help but crack a smile. Indeed they were best friends, bickering to no end and still remain next to each other. Wow, I envy these two.

“Good morning L/n-san” Iwa greeted as you approached them with larger steps. “How’s your face?”

“Morning, you two” you answered back with a small wave, stopping in front of them. “And it’s fine, Iwaizumi-kun. It hurt a lot at that moment, but now it’s all good”

And together, the three of you walked side to side to their classroom – coming to realize you’ve been classmates before even knowing. You blended well between Oikawa’s somewhat difficult personality and Iwaizumi’s bluntness towards the other boy. In no time, the duo became a trio and that just made sense.

Just like the sudden ball on your face, the years passed by in a blink of an eye. When you noticed, the three of you were graduating elementary school and joining Kitagawa Daiichi. There, they’ve joined the volleyball club and you decided to follow them as well – becoming the manager (a position you would hold until the very end of high school). It was definitely a process of growth for you: Oikawa became more ambitious; Iwaizumi progressively became better and better at his position. And you grew as the responsibility to maintain energetic boys at bay demanded you. But, the most important, your feelings for none other than Iwaizumi Hajime flourished in your heart.

It was funny how cliché your very first love came out to be: falling in love with your best friend… you didn’t know what made you like Iwaizumi more than just friends. Could it be the way he’d always care for you, making sure you don’t get hurt? (he says he’s traumatized after your first encounter). Maybe the way he plays volleyball, with such passion and desire to progress in ability?

Perhaps it was everything and much more. But, on top of anything, what made you fall for Iwaizumi Hajime was because he was himself. The blunt, slightly violent towards Tooru – but just because he genuinely cares about him, the hardworking and loyal boy he has always been. It could be a silly childhood crush- heck, you didn’t even care if it was a one-time-thing, liking Hajime was easy. And it was the purest thing ever. 

In the deepest part of your brain, at some point while you were growing up, the possibility of parting ways with the two boys crossed your mind. How could you not think about that when they were so talented volleyball players at such a young age? If they applied to any powerhouse school the answer would be a big yes. 

That was the reason why you approached your best friends after practice, when everyone had already left the gym and only Oikawa was training his jump serves. Iwaizumi was on the side lines ready to stop the other boy- he claimed he could easily headbutt the brunet once again like he did previously. 

“Guys…” you called quietly, completely different from your usual self around them. Looking at them made your eyes swell with tears and the clear image of them using different uniforms from the best volleyball clubs in Miyagi prefecture had appeared on your mind. “Do you know which school you’ll attend next year?”

“Why the sudden question, Y/n-chan?” Tooru asked without looking at you, Hajime, on the other hand, noticed how you fiddle with the hem of your jacket. “We don’t have to think about it right now, we have some time”

“It’s important, Idiotkawa, Y/n has a point,” Iwaizumi retorted, taking the volleyball from his hands. “Unlike this dummy, I wasn’t accepted in many schools… though Aoba Johsai accepted me”

“Seijoh?! Really, Hajime?” the excitement didn’t pass unnoticed by them, even the hint of relief was hidden there. “Wow, congratulations!! And you, Tooru-chan? Did Shiratorizawa accept you?”

“I’m not going to the same school as Ushiwaka,” he huffed, crossing his arms, a pout forming on his face. “So I’m following Iwa-chan”

“As always, dumbass” his friend shot back with a teasing grin. It was enough for a bickering start between them, leaving you with your own thoughts. 

At the age of fourteen, you don’t have many worries about life. So, the thought of going to different schools as those two who you knew since you were six years old was terrifying. I’ll have three more years with them. You wouldn’t say goodbye to Oikawa and Iwaizumi. Not yet, at least. 

“And you Y/n- hey, why are you crying?” Hajime shouted surprised, he stopped on his tracks - with hands stopping Tooru. You wiped your tears quickly with the sleeve of the track, to no avail since they kept falling, and smiled. “Oi, why are you smiling and crying?”

“I’m just… happy” it was true. You were not ready to say goodbye to your best friends, especially your first love. Because, for someone who didn’t have much worries in mind, that situation was the worst scenario. “I’m happy we have three more years together”

Unfortunately, three years were not enough for you. 1095 days were not enough to calm your heart that, despite any distance, friendships don’t end just because you don’t see each other every day. But the most important, three years were not enough for you and Hajime; not when being with him felt so right. 

His confession surprised you, especially on White’s Day during the first year at Aoba Johsai. After years giving him (and Tooru) chocolates, you would never expect Iwaizumi to give you a necklace while saying “I like you more than just friends, please go out with me”. All you did at that moment was laugh- and laugh hard. It was so Iwaizumi to confess like that, bluntly and straightforward; and you appreciated even more because you fell in love with him the way he was. 

“I can’t believe I’ll be the third wheel everytime we go out” Tooru whined after Iwaizumi and you told him about the new label the two of you would have. “Fortunately I have Makki and Mattsun to keep me company while you two get all lovey-dovey”

“Oikawa Tooru, I spent almost ten years of my life being the third wheel of you and Haji” that comment made them snort. “Do not complain about it because it’s most likely that you’ll have my boyfriend most of the time” 

“Lies! You’re our manager, the whole team will need to deal with you kissing Iwa-chan” Oikawa teased you and a part of you was getting annoyed, but the soft smile he gave you and your boyfriend told you otherwise. “Seriously, though, I’m so happy for you two”

Hajime squeezed your hand at his best friend’s comment, grinning down at you with a sparkle inside his eyes. You felt at peace: your feelings were mutuals, your best friend supported your new relationship and it was only the first year. Your state of bliss numbed your constant fear of changes, especially those brought by the end of cycles. 

And gosh, dating Iwaizumi Hajime was probably the best decision you’ve ever made in your teenage years. He still was the same boy as before, but gentle kisses, holding his hand and nights spent in each other’s embrace maximized all the already-perfect traits your boyfriend had. At the same time dating Iwa was new, it felt like you’ve been doing it for ages judging by how comfortable you were around each other. 

Falling in love with your best friend was probably the best decision you’ve ever made.

Every achievement felt a thousand times better when you could jump into Hajime’s arms, wrapping your legs around his waist as he spinned twice cheering loudly. There was no better way to celebrate a deserved win after a difficult match or a good grade on a difficult test.

“Haji, you did it!” those were the first words that would come out of your mouth after the referee signaled the end of the game and the boys cheered between themselves. The ace would always wear a big grin on his face as he catches you when you jump on him. “Oh my, I’m so proud of you and the boys” 

“How could I not make it when my personal cheerleader was giving her best on the side lines?” Iwaizumi teased kissing the corner of your mouth, your response was a light punch on his shoulder, but your eyes expressed all the love and proudness you were feeling. “Thank you for all your efforts as well, manager-chan”

“Hey, you two” Oikawa called off, interrupting the sweet moment between you and your boyfriend. “Keep PDA to minimal, we’re still on court. Iwa-chan, we have to bow to the stands, you can be all gross and touchy on the bus”

“Don’t give them ideas, Oikawa!” Makki complained kicking the setter, their antics made you laugh and tap on Hajime’s arms to put you down. “Don’t you dare do anything with us nearby, you perv”

“Of course not, dumbass” Iwaizumi barked, the tip of his ears burned in embarrassment. You watched your team thank the audience that supported them with a tiny smile on your face.

You’ve created beautiful memories in three years.

However, the same way all cycles have a beginning point, they also have their ends. And they were coming faster than you thought. You firstly noticed that after Aoba Johsai lost to Karasuno after a difficult match. 

It was the last chance to go to nationals with this team, in your last year at Seijoh, and the look on Iwaizumi and Oikawa’s faces shattered your heart. It was upsetting that you couldn’t do anything more than pat their backs and praise their efforts, because you knew it wouldn’t help ease the anger caused by a loss. The tears streaming down Hajime’s face showed the vulnerability you would only see at the comfort of your or his house.

“You guys did everything you could have done today” became a ritual for the team to listen to a speech from their managers, a straightforward and honest one before the coach treated them to a meal. “Remember this frustration to get better, okay? I’m proud of all of you”

Little by little all the club members started to head home, except the third years - including you - that went to the school’s gym. You were quick to understand the reason why you were there: because you would leave the club to focus on college exams. That meant another cycle was coming to an end, and you were not ready for that.

You weren’t ready to hear Oikawa thanking his teammates for the past years they’ve been playing together. You weren’t ready to see them fall apart in tears. You weren’t ready to hold Iwaizumi as he cried his heart out, sobbing hard on the crook of your neck as you smoothed your hand up and down his back. 

Just like you, they were not ready to say goodbye to all of these.

It felt like yesterday when you worried about which school you three would attend after Kitagawa Daiichi. The silly tears you shared in front of your best friends could not compare to the waterfall you’re shedding at the information Hajime just shared with you, during a late-night phone call.

“I made to a college in America” 

The air left your lungs and you swore if you were standing, your legs would definitely give in. Your chest tightened as your feelings divided in being extremely happy and proud of your boyfriend, and being… lost. To say you grew accustomed with Iwaizumi’s constant presence in your life was an understatement, after more than 10 years, you have never pictured your future that wouldn’t have him by your side. 

“That’s amazing, babe! Oh my god” you exhaled mesmerized. “I’m so happy for you! I knew you’d make it”

“I still can’t believe it” he answered quietly, the following silence deafened you and that made you worry. It had never disturbed you how quiet sometimes your calls could get, but today it felt different. “Y/n, what about us, though?”

“Haji…” more silence. The truth was that you didn’t know, neither did Iwaizumi. Throughout the unstable mess that life is you and Hajime were the constant variable, just like in Maths. No matter how things changed, how the scenarios shifted, you two were always there for each other. But now… the only steady thing in your life wouldn’t be there anymore right next to you. “We should… think about what we want, yeah?”

“You’re right” Iwaizumi breathed slowly, letting what you said settle down inside his head. “I love you, Y/n”

“I love you too, Hajime” and with that, the call ended, leaving you to drown in the sea of your thoughts.

Ever since you were a kid, changes scared you. No monster under your bed or inside your wardrobe could beat the terrible villain that walks side to side with the changes of life. Guess a few fears stick with us for good, you thought laughing humorlessly. 

It was a fact that Iwaizumi would never cheat on you, his loyalty was marvelous ever since he was six years old. And you knew for sure he would move mountains just to talk to you for a few minutes, like you’d do to him. Carrying a long-distance relationship with Hajime would be challenging, but no impossible, because he was him and you were you. And you loved each other so damn much. 

You spent weeks thinking about it every night - because during the days your thoughts were 100% focused on the boy standing right next to you. Time would eventually pass by and the moment he would leave Japan to start college in America would arrive, and you won’t be able to do anything to stop or delay it. So, after debating with yourself, you have made your final decision. 

Graduation was filled with joy and the inevitable tears shared in your group of friends. The fellow volleyball club members were there to congratulate the now former third years, wishing them luck for their future paths. Surprisingly or not, you managed to keep your tears at bay - maybe because you ran out of them on the last night after having a bounding time with Oikawa, Hajime, Matsukawa and Hanamaki. 

In a month or so, Oikawa would fly to Argentina to pursue his professional career as a volleyball player, Iwaizumi would have his brand new start in America, Makki and Mattsun would stay in Miyagi; and you would leave to start your new cycle. A cycle without Tooru and Hajime. 

“Hey” your boyfriend tugged lightly at your hand, motioning you to go to another place, a quieter one. You two walked in silence until you'd reached the stairs that led to the club room, sitting on the step next to each other. “It’s over”

“We graduated” both of you laughed, thinking about it three years ago felt so far away, like this future would never come. Yet, here you were, ready to face the world. “We had a great time here, even dealing with Tooru’s annoying ass will be a fond memory”

“I can’t believe we are all parting ways like this” Hajime admitted quietly, however his tone was filled with nostalgia. “I feel like it was yesterday that Shittykawa smacked your face with a volleyball”

“I think it’s the only occasion I’m glad I got hurt” you admitted lightly. “Because of that day, we could spend many more together”

The silence hugged you two nicely, you rested your head against Hajime’s shoulder as he hugged you by your sides. You wanted to save the feeling of being so close to him in your memory, in a place where it would never fade away even after years. His smell of cologne that was his mark filled your nose and you let yourself be intoxicated by it. 

“I guess it’s the end” he said in a whisper, rubbing your shoulders in circle motions. After thinking for many nights, the decision of breaking up with Iwaizumi felt right - although extremely painful. “Sometimes I regret choosing America”

“Don’t start with this bullshit again, Iwaizumi!” you scolded him, creating enough space between you so you could face him. “It’s your future, for god’s sake!”

“But I want you to be part of it” his eyes were a bit shiny, just like on the day you brought up the decision of ending the relationship. A stray tear rolled down his cheek and you quickly cupped his face to dry it with your thumb, the boy responding to your touch by leaning closer to your palm.

“Hajime, we’ve been best friends ever since forever, way before we fell in love with each other… I love you so much - and I’ll probably always do - but I can’t find peace within myself knowing that I’m holding you back. We will remain best friends for life, you are my first love and will always be… so, if there’s a red string tied up around our pinkies” you wrapped the said finger around his much larger one, a gentle smile appearing on your not wet cheeks. “Let fate bring us back together, whether as friends or lovers”

The boy leaned down to capture your lips, your mostly likely last kiss before splitting for good. You could taste the salty tears you two shed, but nothing could top the amazing sensation that was being so close to Hajime. Nothing could top the sensation of love and being loved by Iwaizumi Hajime. 

You feared changes, the numerous cycles scared you ever since you were a kid. But it was fine now, that you understood that it was necessary, though not permanent. If you and Iwaizumi Hajime were meant to be, fate will do its work to bring you back to where your heart belongs.

[aki-draws-things]

Fic title Meme: People Pleaser

OK, that was fun, and I can see clint agreeing on everything everyone may ask, except the don't consider this as a "payback" for the brainwashed betrayal time. They simply ask and are genuinely happy that Clint agrees to help.

I'm still trying to get in the right set to wrote them so.. I hope it's okay~

@captainjimothycarter

Anyone has other titles??? 💖

Title: People pleaser

Ship: Winterhawk

Tag: light angst, guilty clint, pre-relationship, first kiss

At first Bucky didn’t think much of it; he was still wrapping his own head around the idea of staying at the Tower, the idea that the rest of them were being almost friendly with him, the idea, for the first time in years, that he belonged somewhere. He didn’t have time to think of other things, but if he did, he thought back some time later, he would have seen it much sooner.

The Tower was chaotic, but in a good, functional way, with Stark constant chatters and babbles, Steve begging for him to “Just close your mouth as you eat breakfast Tony, for the love of God.” . Dr Banner with his calm aura always surrounding him, Bucky saw him angry, he saw the Hulk, he’d like not to see him around the Tower during fine mornings, thank you very much. Thor… Well, he wasn’t used to Thor honestly, and he wasn’t sure he liked his straightforwardness, but Steve always said he meant well so he could try a bit harder next time he was around. Natasha-- Natalia-- Natasha was the easiest to have around, more than once he found himself getting drawn toward her, her familiarity, her understanding; he could mutter in russian and she wouldn't need to ask for a translation, she wouldn’t tell him that he didn’t need to use that language anymore now that he wasn’t the Winter Soldier, Natasha would simply answer him.

And then, right when Bucky thought that maybe leaning on Natasha was the best choice if he didn’t want to worry Steve, Barton changed the cards on the table.

At first Bucky thought nothing of it, being around Barton was just as easy, something in his smile, something in his easy going way, something in how he seemed to understand his mood when not even Bucky fully understood them. He was always around, always close, hands hovering by but never touching unless someone started a contact, like he was afraid, craving the touch but afraid of it. Of asking.

He was different around Natasha, and Bucky thought that this was the reason he felt himself converging toward him in the end. Around Natasha he was physical, never asking, never waiting, he would flop down beside her and wrap himself around her one limb at time, and Natasha, scary, deadly Natasha, would lay there, perfectly comfortable with the archer turned octopus wrapped around her and lift a hand to scratch his head.

So Bucky took a step back, quietly, unconsciously; he didn’t want to intrude in that level of intimacy just because Natasha could understand him, it felt wrong toward someone who had been there earlier than him.

That was when he noticed it, one day when Natasha was away for a mission.

he walked, shuffled, okay, he dragged his feet inside the common room after a sleepless night filled with memories, and nightmares, and more nightmarish memories, his mind screamed at him to stay in bed, his stomach had a different idea and an empty, growling stomach in a time and place where he could fill it with anything he preferred was very hard to ignore. The compromise was to get back into bed after breakfast and call it a day, or a morning, depending on how fast he would get hungry again. no training, no walks in a park, no nothing.

Clint was there, he heard him before even entering the room, talking with Steve in the usual cheerful voice, agreeing with something Steve asked, Bucky didn't know what. When he walked inside Steve was leaving the table, positively glowing, he clapped a hand over Bucky's shoulder not seeing the light flinch and walked out. Clint chuckled and pushed a mug of coffee toward him before he even decided if he wanted coffee, he could as well accept it at this point.

"too physical, right? - he nodded toward the door Steve disappeared out. - he's like an overgrown puppy, unconcealed excitement and all."

Bucky just smiled quickly and sipped from the mug, coffee just as sweet as he liked. He watched as the archer drowned his mug empty and left it in the sink before sighing and stretching.

"better get going or I'll be late." without another word he waved at him before leaving the common room.

By nightfall when he met the archer again he looked tired to the bones, absolutely worn out, still he smiled as Bruce thanked him for something bucky wasn't paying attention to.

At first he thought nothing of it, until he saw his smile falter just slightly, the usual light in his eyes dimmed as he told Stark about a little inconvenience , or so he called it, he had with the hearing aids during the mission. Little inconvenience being the high pitched sound that left him swaying dizzily when Sam's new drone flew too close.

Stark grabbed the aids as soon as Clint took them out, muttering fast under his breath and searching for the problem dismissing with a wave of the hand Clint's quiet "I probably set them wrong, there's nothing wrong with them, sorry to bother.", like it had been his fault.

"it could use a bit more sugar…"

Steve looked at the cookies in front of him, the sugar, in bucky's opinion, was the least problem, they should resemble falcon's wings as Steve explained, and instead it looked more like a… bucky wasn't sure honestly. Not wings anyway.

"but I'm used to very very sweet things, that's just my mouth!"

Bucky blinked as Clint flashed an encouraging smile at the captain. He took a cookie. They definitely needed more sugar, on top of a better shape. Bucky almost doubted Steve put sugar in them at all.

The smile over clint's lips was real, he knew it, and yet it looked stretched, strained, painful, like he felt bad for saying something was off about Steve's cooking, like he offended Steve somehow. Steve simply took note of the sugar, "and the shape, Steve. I don't want to be the one explaining these are supposed to be wings." bucky added, and went to try and make the cookies again. They would eat cookies for a week, at that rate.

It took bucky almost a year to figure out a pattern, a whole year of clint's smiles that one after the next bucky wanted to steal from the rest of the team because they failed to see behind them. He loved the way Clint smiled, how the room seemed brighter when he was around. Maybe it was just bucky feeling that, maybe he was… was it love? He couldn't exactly go up to Steve and ask him, he couldn't be so blunt with Natasha either. Not to mention Clint.

The mission had been hard, flying aliens covered in spikes caused more damage than they thought, Clint joined when the fight had started already, coming from a completely different mission, bucky heard him talk to Natasha a week before.

He scratched his head, made up some kind of weak excuse when stark asked what took him so long, he apologized and bucky made a quick mental note to confront him on that, he had nothing to apologize for. He would definitely tell him that as soon as the spiky aliens were gone.

"fuck. I'm sorry Buck. I'm--"

Clint hung his head low, bucky barely managed to convince Steve not to feel guilty that one of the aliens stabbed him through the side, and it was hard to deal with the sad puppy eyes Rogers could make, he was too tired to deal with clint's guilt too.

"you've done nothing." he said and saw his shoulders drop even lower. "Nothing wrong." he quickly added.

"I was supposed to have your six."

Yeah, that was his position and bucky would be damned if he said he didn't trust him with his life.

"you saved a group of civilians stuck in a building. 7 people? Against one super soldier who will be up in a couple more hours."

Still that didn't ease the pain he saw in clint's eyes.

"okay. - bucky knew he didn't mean it, he didn't believe him. - okay, tell me what I can do to make it better. Serum or no you've been stabbed, because of me. Tell me how I can have your forgiveness."

That was… what? Bucky blinked, confused. Forgiveness? Was guilt so deep in his mind? Was that why he--

Oh, fuck.

Bucky sighed.

"a smile. - sap. He knew stark, and Natasha would say that upon hearing his request. - a smile and you're forgiven."

"it's a bit small. You can ask me anything you want. I can spar with you when you're up. I can… really, Barnes, anything. You got wounded because of m--"

"is that why you're always so compliant? Something happened and you try to.. Don't know, make up for that?"

He trembled, and bucky wanted to wrap around him and hold him.

"they shouldn't trust me. They probably don't but they try. So maybe one day I will have their trust back, like before my mind got fucked up by that crazy God." he blurted out and bucky couldn't help but stare.

"but really, tell me how I can--" Clint tried to change the topic again and bucky acted on pure impulse.

"if a smile is too little, then I want a kiss."

[sundaeserenade]

okay! so the pokemas legendary event: father or foe. I have things to say so I will say them. and if you don’t want spoilers, uhmmm don’t read this! okay thanks okay.

first of all, i like how ghetsis just. shows up. like he’s just there. that’s great, A+ Second of all, I know the point of that battle between N, Silver, Brendan and Norman was to showcase how strong Brendan and Norman’s father-son bond was. but it’s so fucking funny to me that they’re fighting against two legendary pokemon. and they’ve got a fucking slaking and a fucking uhh sceptile like. Ho-oh is fucking fire/flying, but Norman and Brendan won??? but whatever, moving on.

glad that they put silver in this. like even with the plot point later on with giovanni, i just like that silver is here. i like silver. i like his way of speaking. because in a world of pokemon protagonists that are naive and idealistic, silver’s realism and straightforwardness is very needed. so thanks silver, for being that bro.

anyway, I love N’s answer to Ghetsis’ proposition for them to be father-son again. He says he just needs time to think. That shows such maturity. And the fact that they put that alongside Nate’s very black and white (lol) way of thinking, is good. Nate is like “Ghetsis did some fucked up shit. get him outta here” but N has history with Ghetsis and is hesitant.

and y’know what, Nate is right honestly, because Ghetsis did some fucked up shit!! I know a lot of people have not played gen 5 but Ghetsis is a BITCH!!! He’s manipulative and abusive, he said some fucked up shit to N, he tried to fuck over unova TWICE, he’s not a good dude. And it’s interesting! bc in bw2, y’know, former team plasma members are trying to make up for their crimes from the first game. and they point out that all they can do is apologize and do better, like they can try and make up for what they did and do what they can to make things right. and that’s what some of them are doing. and they acknowledge that this doesn’t like erase people’s pain or make them entitled to forgiveness.

but on the other side of that, you have ghetsis, who is not at all interested in that shit. he doesn’t think he’s done anything wrong, he doesn’t want to change, fuck unova, fuck everything and everyone! So yeah! Nate is like FUCK GHETSIS and honestly, everyone should be like that but they weren’t there in unova so they get a pass.

and N is just hesitant. Because he sees that father-son bond and he wants that. he wants that connection. and think about how that resonates with so many people playing this game. like it fucking resonated with me! you want a bond with a family member that’s hurt you, and they come to you to try and make amends... and say it’s idealistic or naive or stupid, but there’s hope that it could work out this time.

ghetsis has manipulated and abused N in the past, and N knows this most of all, but he’s willing to move forward with their relationship if Ghetsis has truly changed. DAMN! that hits me hard. too many times we try and give people a second chance when they say they’ve changed, but it turns out they fucking haven’t and they hurt us all over again.

But I like that N takes the time to decide. He talks to Alder and gets his opinion, and I like that Alder is just honest as fuck about it. And N takes that into consideration, but still makes the choice himself, just like Silver advised him to. This is a choice he made after weighing his options and the outcomes.

And honestly, I was like... Ghetsis could go either way. They could keep him evil and have this be him trying to manipulate N again, OR they could pull a lusamine and have the story and the characters just forget about the abuse that he put N through and the chaos he put unova through. And I’m so happy to see that they kept him evil because HE IS evil and! He’s as fucking heartless as ever, being honest about how everyone is a tool to him.

That’s refreshing as fuck to me. After lusamine, i had no fucking hope for this game but DAMN let’s go, okay, Ghetsis staying evil? teaming up with giovanni? nice nice nice. love it.

But also, hold on, because Silver is a hero in this event. I loved hearing what he had to say, but this line that he had is so fucking important.

IM STILL IN SHOCK THAT THEY ACTUALLY SAID THIS LIKE??? idk i just wasn’t expecting it at all, and im SO GLAD they brought it up. Silver? Getting frustrated with Nate that he’s not trying to see things from N’s point of view? Nice. Very Nice. This is why I’m glad Silver’s here, because what other character would have the guts to say this? We need that blunt honesty a lot of the time. We need that straightforwardness to put some harsh truths out there.

I like that Nate stops and considers that now, they he apologizes and is like “I was thinking more about unova than about your feelings, N” and he APOLOGIZES!! LET’S GO!

There’s some good nuggets in this event, it’s so fucking GOOD.

It keeps getting better because with Alder reassuring N and offering advice, he shows that he’s more of a fucking.. father figure than Ghetsis will EVER be but he also just says that N’s grown and he’s got a good heart and N is so shocked...! He is still 100% suffering from what Ghetsis said/did to him before! because that trauma is still there! And he needs to be surrounded by people who really and truly care about him to support him now.

Okay but moving on, the Ghetsis and Giovanni team up was cool. I like how they kept summoning team break members out of nowhere?? fantastic. and of course giovanni was gonna backstab him. fucking. ghetsis you idiot, but anyway! N seeing that ghetsis is about to get his whole ass kicked and STILL stepping up to help him out?

Mm i have some mixed feelings about it, but N CAN talk to pokemon and he didn’t want anything to happen to Kyurem. And I’m glad that they put that in there and remembered that about N’s character because otherwise i’d be like “why would he help him, Ghetsis has revealed his true colors for like the third time there’s no reason to” but it also ties back into N just feeling sorry for this mother fucker and also just wanting a father figure.

but! after the battle, they leave. and Silver just glares at Giovanni and tells him to fuck off... this poor boy, but! we also have this comparison between silver KNOWING that his father will never change and that he’s not interested in changing, and now N coming to that conclusion with ghetsis. those two are not going to change. they don’t fucking care. they’re terrible people. and it’s a hard pill to swallow but silver’s already swallowed it. and now he’s helping N to get through what he’s already gone through.

so N just saved ghetsis’ ass and now they’re outside. And N says that he knows Ghetsis hasn’t changed, and if he causes trouble N will stop him. And Nate tells Ghetsis he hates him LOL and then is like why can’t you just fucking be a better person to N like for real.

and Ghetsis continues to be a sack of shit. and Nate gets upset and says something really touching, that N just wants a normal relationship with the man he calls his father. and Nate is real sensitive to this stuff, he wears his heart on his sleeve, y’know. but a lot of male pokemon protagonists are like that (gold, brendan i think?) but it’s just touching to have Nate be really invested. to have Nate and Silver both wanting to help N, and Nate is the more sensitive and idealistic of the two and Silver just adds that touch of realism. y’know, black and white?

but N is a bit of both, now. That’s what he gained on his journey, this understanding that problems aren’t so simple and that complexity is a part of life and that sometimes there isn’t a clear right answer. and sometimes things don’t go the way that you want, no matter how much you hope or wish for things to change.

and at the end... N understands that. He understands that while Ghetsis is a piece of shit and will ALWAYS be a piece of shit, he has people and pokemon around him and that’s all he needs. he doesn’t need a father. he’s just fine without one. Silver agrees, everyone fucking agrees. and it’s fucking touching. N’s got people in his life that care about him genuinely and that’s all he needs.

and that’s a real good message because first of all, Alder is right there and found family is abound, but also, it’s not pushing this fucking narrative that you should always, always forgive your family or the people who hurt you. sometimes, your family is shit! and you cut them out of your life for your own well being! many, many people have to do that. and instead of ignoring that every family isn’t the same and that people have shitty relationships with their families, this event is like “hey, everyone’s upbringing is different” and “if people who’ve hurt you aren’t going to sincerely apologize and make the effort to change, they aren’t worth your time” and “fuck ghetsis”

like those are good messages! and im mad because WHERE WAS THIS with the lusamine event??? lusamine abused both lily and gladion, but she’s okay?? she fucking almost drove the alola region into chaos but she’s forgiven?? no. i will never be about that. lily and gladion are both better off without her because i didn’t see an apology in sumo or in pokemas, the bitch just showed up and was like “okay!! we’re family!!” and even with the sumo endgame thing of lily taking lusamine to kanto to give her treatment, i need to SEE an apology and a genuine want to change

and you know what even if there is an apology? lily and gladion aren’t obligated to forgive her. it’s their choice, sure, but i think it was a choice forced onto them instead of it being something that they, as characters, seriously consider. and?? lusamine should be in jail. so.

like there’s no obligation for these kids to forgive their abusive parents. none at all. and N’s speech to ghetsis saying “i don’t think a true father-son relationship can happen between us so easily, but if you’ve had a true change of heart, show me through battle!” is so important because he wants to see for himself if there’s been a real change. N will decide AFTER the battle and after seeing ghetsis’ motivations if they can move forward.

and where was this with lily and gladion?? what did they ask or talk about with lusamine so that they know she’s being sincere?? and y’know what, where is the distrust?? especially for lily, because lusamine did some real fucked up shit!! it’s just not handled as well, and it could’ve been a great example of “kids need to get away from their abusive parents even if they promise change” because N made a choice and was hesitant but we didn’t get to see that development with gladion and lily. i know it’s pokemon, but i definitely think there’s a way they could’ve written them,, cutting lusamine out of their lives and it being like “okay, this is the best for both of us” because lusamine was a shit mother and also gladion and lily have found family in the selene, elio, hau and professor kukui and professor brunet SO.

but this event was pretty good and there were some very good moments in here. I’m glad ghetsis will stay evil and i’m glad they put silver in there as well, thanks. BUT WHERE WAS HILBERT????? WHHHHYYYYYY!!!!!

[marysfoxmask]

the secret garden (1949) - why it’s my favorite adaptation

hello @renee-mariposa! thank you so much for the ask! while i believe i have answered a question like this before, i don’t think i’ve elaborated as much as i’d like to. so allow me to wax poetic on my favorite adaptation, the secret garden (1949)!

intro

this adaptation really stands out, i think, because of the the era it was made in; i don’t think you could get an adaptation aimed towards kids that is such a sentimental, gothic-lite melodrama with these days, at least without aggressively telegraphing its more emotional moments a la pixar/disney; it’s amusingly blunt and straightforward in that regard, much like the children at its center. there’s not much syrupiness at all. the child actors (margaret o’brien as mary and dean stockwell as colin) are fast-talking as any actor of that era, but in my opinion, the film’s clearly scripted dialogue just makes all the kids seem amusingly precocious.

actors

margaret o’brien as mary is great. i love her stridency, her snobbishness. unlike other adaptations, which downplay mary’s contrariness to the point where her character arc comes across as too subtle by half, the movie upgrades it. not only is 1949 mary contrary, her sullenness has been replaced by a shrillness, snobbery, and the tendency to run to emotional extremes (not to mention a healthy helping of classism). she alienates herself from the other children on the ship to england purposefully, finding them inferior to herself, then attempts to physically fight another passenger when the child calls archibald a hunchback. while this characterization isn’t book-accurate (book mary is a mix of fiery and sullen that none of the films capture accurately imo), i prefer this characterization of her to the closed-off sullenness of the 1993 version or the palatably traumatized 2020 version. 1949 mary isn’t given an obvious freudian excuse for her issues; her parents are just as neglectful, but the film puts the onus on mary for being contrary, which is weirdly refreshing and more attuned to the novel’s perspective. (that isn’t to say that mary’s traumatic early childhood didn’t inform her character in any meaningful way, or that the adults around mary aren’t responsible for how she turned out--but imo the films tend to take an un-nuanced view of the situation in order to make her a more palatable, sympathetic character, which is vastly less interesting than a complicated, flawed one no matter if the character is a child or not). when mary’s character develops and she becomes sweeter, it’s much more impactful as a result of this earlier narrative choice.

brian roper, who was 20 at the time (crazy, right?), plays dickon, and he plays him with a sweet affability that’s hard not to enjoy. he’s a little mischievous, laughing at mary when she accidentally speaks yorkshire (i’ll talk about that in a bit), and has, in a nice touch that i’ve strangely only seen in in the 1994 straight-to-dvd animated film, just as much of a passionate interest in the secret garden as mary does. dickon isn’t treated as mystically as other adaptations, save for the tendency to disappear strangely quickly just when mary happens to turn around (which is a nice nod to his quasi-magical aspects without being distracting, and also adds to mary’s sense of displacement/confusion on the mysterious misselthwaite grounds). he also gets a surprising amount to do in this adaptation, which i love, as someone who strongly believes his character has been under-served in all the film adaptations thus far. in this film, he gets to even enter misselthwaite manor by climbing up ivy into colin’s room in the middle of a storm (albeit offscreen), which is just the kind of adventurous, dramatic touch i enjoy. he also gets probably more dialogue than any of the other dickons (whoo!), as he makes a couple minor declarations--nothing super ham-fisted and melodramatic, as i said the screenplay is rather straightforward and devoid of a lot of corniness you might expect from a children’s film made in the ‘40s, especially with this kind of source material--that are heartfelt without being cloying (one of the benefits of having an older actor playing this kind of role).

colin, played by dean stockwell, is a weaker element to me. he does a good job alternating between screaming (and this movie contains a lot of screaming) and being sweet when the movie calls for it, but i don’t think he was the best choice for colin. while i think it’s awful to criticize a teen actor (stockwell was 13 at the time) for being baby-faced, the fact that he looks significantly younger than o’brien (who was 12) means that his tantrums come off as less a result of arrested development than they should. while he speaks as stiltedly as 2020 colin (who i personally think was one of the best elements of that film), it’s unclear whether that’s the result of the ‘40s fashion of expressing dialogue or a characteristic choice (i’m guessing the former). he can’t help but pale compared to o’brien’s mary, though he is perfectly adequate. he just didn’t stand out for me.

i summed up my feelings of elsa lanchester as martha in my previous, brief review of the movie back in june: “the one major flaw, i think, is actually martha, played by elsa lanchester; her portrayal is odd, feels definitely tone-deaf. her constant shrieking laughter feels very forced and unconvincing. in her few scenes, she jars everything to a halt in terms of believability.” she was significantly older than brian roper, being in her ‘40s playing a character heavily implied to be in her mid-teens to early twenties, and as a result feels out of her depth. her establishing scene is probably the worst, although i’ve warmed to her other scenes as time’s gone by.

tone/atmosphere

in general, i think the ‘49 film does a wonderful job expressing the gothic implications of the original book, even emphasizing them by casting misselthwaite manor largely in shadow and having mary and mrs. medlock first arrive in a carriage pulled by black horses on a dark, stormy night. it makes the bright outdoor scenery seem that much more inviting in comparison. burnett’s robin is also replaced by a raven, who also takes on aspects of dickon’s crow soot, as he is friends with dickon and hops on his shoulder occasionally. while it divulges from burnett’s book, i think a raven makes a little more sense in this adaptation, which amps up the eeriness of the original story; it gives mary’s journey a little more of a fairytale aspect, i think, and is overall an understandable and palatable change.

plot

the big plot development that divulges from the novel is the presence of a subplot where, due to a misunderstanding of an axe and a tree in the titular garden, mary and dickon fall under the impression that archibald killed lilias. now, this is a pretty bizarre plot, don’t get me wrong, but it doesn’t take up much of the film; it’s charming in its strangeness, and fits well with the idea of innocent children struggling to understand the complicated adult world—which is itself a theme original to the story that i’m kind of a sucker for, in general. it also serves as a bonding point for dickon and mary, whose friendship largely feels passed over in film adaptations.

and, of course, there’s the big plot-breaking point near the end, where archibald goes to tell colin that he’s selling misselthwaite and going to move to europe with him. an obvious plot point that conflicts with this scene is that colin, in the book, has no relationship with his father. again, it’s an odd adaptational choice meant to amp up the stakes, but it doesn’t impede my enjoyment of the film as a whole. the presence of two doctors—one, a hapless neville craven figure named dr. griddlestone, and the other is obviously inspired from the book’s “doctor from london,” who insisted all colin needed was fresh air, food, and exercise—gives the film some psychological weight. despite the disappointing element of all of colin’s neuroses being blatantly the result of his father’s emotional ailments, which i think is a lazy way of reading the original novel’s portrayal of colin’s illness, i think the way this development was executed in the film was tolerable—and i’m a sucker for children’s films that don’t think anything of including long conversations between adults about psychological issues. like, you can’t help but respect a film like that!

the garden

something i also love about this adaptation is that the garden isn’t a huge part of it; it represents more of a place where mary and dickon and colin can foster ideas and grow rather than a place of orgasmic beauty. there’s not a surplus of lavish panning shots, really, like in the ‘93 film, and it lacks the magical realism of the 2020 film. the garden itself is more transparently a plot device, which i actually like—it gives more room for the children to center themselves.

individual scenes

and the pacing of the film is actually really nice, i think—probably the best out of all the films. i love the ‘93 film with all my heart, and it’s definitely gorgeous in its own right, but i think it gets a little sluggish; this film is paced beautifully. there’s no fat, really. 

there’s a scene i really love that shows the passage of time from winter to spring in a super succinct, stupidly obvious way that nonetheless works because of the innocent sweetness of o’brien’s delivery. like, it’s very old-fashioned and sentimental, but gah, it gets me every time.

it’s time to talk about the scream scene!

this film stole my heart the minute mary screamed wholeheartedly at colin that she hopes he dies. there’s a dark comedy to this whole scene; these two maladjusted, spoiled children trying to out-scream one another while tearing down curtains and knocking down tables full of food higgledy-piggledy?? you just can’t get better than that!

if you’re adapting the secret garden, i strongly feel you can’t soften the children’s meanness, their sharpness and ugliness. their tantrums must be harsh and grating and horrible! they have to really let loose! the rawness of the children’s emotional dysfunction contrasted against the buttoned-up stiffness of edwardian england is one of the fascinating aspects of the novel i love to think about, and you just can’t get that contrast if you don’t have the children be genuine terrors! i think this scene puts that nicely, more nicely than any of the other films, which pussyfoot around colin’s intense tantrum too much to be nearly as effective. i get giddy whenever this scene comes on; it’s brilliant.

there are so many little details from the book that i love: that the children speak yorkshire to one another, mary singing her ayah’s song to colin, 

dickon’s “i will cum bak” note (here written as “i will kum back”), the mention of dickon’s mother sending them bread to eat to make them strong. it’s all so nicely implemented, and reminds me of the joy of reading the book for the first time.

but the scene i love most is one entirely made up for the film. in it, mary tells colin about the garden, but wraps it up in fiction wherein it’s a sort of child’s eden, only accessible for children like themselves. that gets to the heart of why i love the book moreso than any other adaptation i can think of. it’s a children’s paradise where the innocent, inherent goodness of children reigns. it makes me tear up almost every time, despite the scene’s brevity.

miscellaneous

there are some little details that i love about this film: the fact that mrs. sowerby is spotted in one scene where we see dickon at his home, feeding a lamb (and the implication that mary was so darn excited about finding the key to the garden that she ran all the way to the sowerbys’ cottage, five miles away from misselthwaite, to show dickon), mary’s clearly false story to colin about being surrounded by tigers and elephants in india, mary threatening to tear people’s gizzards out, mary telling dickon she hates him because he (gasp) dared to know about colin so she couldn’t reveal his existence to him...there’s a lot to enjoy about this film. it definitely isn’t the most accurate to the book, but it’s one of those films that i could watch over and over again.

aside from some superfluous subplots, it’s a lean adaptation that still captures all the essential elements of the book to at least to a degree. i can easily imagine some very indignant little girls in 1949 insisting that no, the raven was a robin in the book, and there was no implications of murder, either, but i love it in all its simplicity. i think you need a little old-fashioned sentiment to make a film adaptation of the secret garden successful.

[innovativestruggles]

Hahaha I need to admit, you got me into Obirin! 😂 They're so wholesome and adorable and I'm so sad that they couldn't get the happy ending they so much deserve. Would you mind writing some headcanons of their "happy ever after"? What would they do for living? How would their relationship progress? Kakashi helping Obito out on his first date? Is there something that changed between them over the years? Who proposed first and their reactions? Asdfghjkhg pls and thank you so much! 😆❤️💫

AHHHHH KANRA! afsaghadgklsjdf I love this!! (but I don’t think I can ever do obirin any justice with my HC! HAHA but I will give it a go). 

AND YES! THAT’S IT, BASK IN THE AMBIENCE OF OBIRIN! I’M GOING TO SABOTAGE YOUR NEWSFEED WITH THEM <33333

Okay I’m gonna do this in a modern day AU cause it’s something different and fun hehe

Employment Obito

Obito would definitely be a cop hands down. Cause it’s a very Uchiha thing, and he would be the type who is down in the action and not those ones who sit in the office and just sift through paperwork

He has a strong sense of justice and would be very empathetic towards people - even to the criminals, especially those who have a real compassionate reason

But Obito would still uphold his duty as a police officer and arrest criminals

Obito would clash a lot with his colleagues (who are mostly Uchihas) as they are less likely to uphold the same values as he (i.e. they are very black and white in their way of thinking whereas Obito sees the grey areas)

Obito would be very dedicated to his work. He is passionate about justice and fighting for the best interest of his hometown

Rin

Not obvious at all but Rin would be a doctor. And not just any doctor but a world renowned doctor known for her ability to diagnose the most difficult of ailments

Rin would also be a researcher in the medical field. She would be at the forefront of cutting edge medical research

Like Obito, Rin is extremely passionate and dedicated to her work

Rin loves helping people and protect those who are the most vulnerable in her hometown

Rin is very empathetic in her role as a doctor. She would sit down and take the time to listen to all her patients’ needs

Rin is very well loved amongst her colleagues and those who work with her at the hospital

She would not hesitate to sit and work overtime to get down to the bottom of a difficult diagnosis

Both Rin and Obito are very dedicated individuals, so much so that they risk burning out…

Marriage Proposal

Obito proposed first (with the help of Kakashi of course)!

Obito is usually good at expressing himself and what he wants but when it comes to proposing, it would be a very difficult thing and he would struggle

The two have been together for several years yet Obito would already know he’d want to marry Rin from the very beginning

Obito is actually quite a patient person and he would give Rin all the time she needs

Only when he and Rin have discussed about their future together would he decide that it would be the time to ask her to marry him

And as much as Obito had all these fancy crazy things in mind to impress his girl, it would never turn out the way he imagined

Obito would ask Kakashi how he should go about with the proposal during when the trio are catching up for dinner and whilst Rin goes to the bathroom

Kakashi being his usual blunt and straightforward self would tell him to ask her straight out

And Obito being all panicky about it would just blurt it out in front of Rin and Kakashi when she is in the middle of walking back to the table

Of course there would be a long mortifying silence that follows

But needless to say, (and very much to Obito’s relief) Rin would say yes (and Kakashi would roll his eyes at Obito’s stupidity)

Relationship

Rin wears the pants in the relationship (lol!)

Obito out there catching bad guys and being in the midst of all the action with his fighting skills and use of weapons would freak out if he forgot to put the washing on when Rin told him to

Both share the household chores

Both cook, but Obito is the better cook

Obito would always try and find new recipes to impress and surprise Rin when it is his turn to cook

They have date night once a week

Obito would once in awhile bring home flowers for Rin or her favourite dessert

Rin would surprise Obito with massages

Obito loves giving Rin back hugs and Rin would turn around and cuddle him right back

Both are affectionate and are risk takers (both at work and in the bedroom!)

They rarely have major arguments, but if they do it would usually be from some misunderstanding

They would sit down and talk about it and resolve it together (then make it up to each other in the bedroom afterwards)

At the very beginning of their relationship, Obito would feel inferior to Kakashi (as he knew Rin used to like him) and would become very jealous whenever Rin talked too much to Kakashi

But over time, his level of confidence and trust in Rin grew and it dissipated, so now the trio would hang out a lot

Rin would also be hanging out with Kakashi on her own and Obito wouldn’t mind

But he would be unusually clingy when she gets back from her catchup with Kakashi and Rin reassures him with lots of affection that he is the only man for her <3

There would be days where they just do their own thing but in the company of each other and that’s the space they really like

They like to take baths together (yes to bubble baths!)

Obito is first to wake up and he would always try and make Rin breakfast in bed if he isn’t rushing out the door to get to work

When either of them have a bad day, they would just sit there together in each other’s arms…just silent

And Rin loves to tease Obito - always! And she would find it very entertaining when he just blushes and has no idea what he is doing (because he doesn’t love a flustered Obito)

First Date

Obito would be so nervous he wouldn’t be able to focus on work the whole week

He would be making loads of mistakes and be super clumsy

He would totally put the stapler in the fridge instead of the stationery cupboard cause he would keep thinking what the best outfit to wear would be

Everyday after work for the entire week, Obito would go to the shops and fuss over what he should wear and then freak out cause he can’t decide so he just buys everything and decide on it later

But later comes along and he still hasn’t made up his mind

So he enlists Kakashi to help him

And when Kakashi sees the enormous pile of clothes Obito bought out of a panic state, he would just roll his eyes and tell him he doesn’t know whether Obito could be helped or not

But Kakashi being Kakashi would still stick by Obito and help him

And the day before the date, Obito would call Kakashi incessantly whilst at work in fits of panic, to the point where Kakashi would just hang up on him

Then on the day of the date, Obito would be hanging around Kakashi in an attempt to calm his nerves and Kakashi would showcase his annoyance but would allow Obito to hang around anyways

And then during the date Obito would be super nervous and Rin can see straight through this and tries to calm his nerves and make things lighthearted

And Obito would run to the bathroom and call Kakashi and freak out LOL

But Kakashi would tell him to shut up and just enjoy the date and not call him again

So Obito just does his best like he always does and Rin also sees this

But eventually Obito gets used to the situation and he would feel a lot more relaxed

Until Rin decides to give him a kiss out of nowhere

And then Obito would be thinking of it for the entire month at work LOL

Omg, I tried! I am not good with writing HC! LOL I think I can only write a story rather than bits and pieces. But lmao I just envision in my head that Obito is this super dork who’s so awkward with everything. 

Mind you, the Obito in this HC universe is what he would be like had he not experienced any tragedies. My HC of him would be very different if it is set in the ninja world after Rin’s death.

Anyways this was longer than I thought! Thank you so much for prompting me @kannra21​ ilysm this was so fun to write haha ❤️❤️❤️

Also a shout out to @sinemoras09​ because it’s your fault for re-igniting my obirin feels again LOL ❤️

[homenum-revelio-hq]

Welcome (again) to the Order of the Phoenix, Christie!

You have been accepted for the role of MARY MACDONALD! We loved how readily you embraced the harsher sides of Mary -- and how you wrote her embracing those aspects of herself, as well -- and we're so excited to see the fire and fuel she brings to the Order of the Phoenix! Things are going to get hot for enemy and ally alike with your Mary on the dash, and we can't wait to see it!

Please take a look at the new member checklist and send in your account within 24 hours! Thank you for joining the fight against Voldemort!

OUT OF CHARACTER:

NAME & PRONOUNS: christie, she/her

AGE: 20

TIMEZONE: bst

ACTIVITY LEVEL: Uni’s started once again and I did go through a period of ‘oh snap how is that going to work‘ but that being said, I believe I’ve finally found my balance once again and feel confident enough in taking on a third character. I try to join at least one sprint a week, but then even when I can’t do that, I usually try to have mini sprints by myself.

ANYTHING ELSE: nope, nothing

CHARACTER DETAILS:

NAME: Mary Lizbeth MacDonald

AGE: 20 soon-to-be 21 (3 April 1961)

GENDER, PRONOUNS, and SEXUALITY: Cis female, she/her, ‘don’t know, don’t care’. She’s not particularly interested in romance and whenever she feels any sexual frustration, boys seem to do the trick just fine. She doesn’t care to explore her sexuality beyond that.

BLOOD STATUS: Muggleborn

HOUSE ALUMNI: Gryffindor

ANY CHANGES: Nope! All good!

CHARACTER BACKGROUND:

PERSONALITY: 

Many seem to think that Mary’s angry – and they’re right, don’t get her wrong. She’s fucking pissed at all the thumb twiddling, at the idiotic fanatics obsessed with slaughtering her kind, at the moralists looking down on her methods from their high horses. But she’s also not an idiot; she knows that anger kills and that if she’s not smart about this, it’ll kill her too. So she lets it drive her, lets it fuel her, but never lets it control her. She’s smart like that.

She also knows most would prefer to think of her killing Mulciber as a heat-of-the-battle, spur-moment decision, but that’s not what it was. When she looked him in the eye, his wand on the ground somewhere in the distance, Mary felt a moment of perfect clarity wash over her. She was perfectly capable of taking him in, she was sure of it, and for a brief moment, she considered it too. But then the corner of her lips twitched, pulling at the tissue of her scar, and her decision was made. If that makes her ruthless then so be it; God knows they’ve got enough soft-hearted plonkers in their ranks already. And if they need someone to hold their hand and pat them on the back for a job well done, they can fuck right off. The Order isn’t an after school special nor is it an extracurricular to join for the ‘experience’ and Mary certainly isn’t here to coddle anyone. She says it as it is, straightforward and blunt, and it’s sure as hell not her problem if people can’t handle the truth. She didn’t join the Order to make friends who’d braid her hair. She has a war to fight and everything else comes second.

That isn’t to say she’s a stone-cold bitch, though, as many times as she’s heard that. She has people she cares about, of course she does, but isn’t that the point? How can she claim to love her family, her siblings, and just sit around and wait for them to get killed off? How can she claim to care about the fate of Muggleborns and not join the fight against those who try to murder them? It’s not her passion and heart that people should question, it’s their own. Because if they cared, they wouldn’t be wasting their time judging her, they’d be fighting tooth and nail, like she is. Call her bold, call her desperate, she doesn’t give a flying fuck. If she has to, Mary will take the mud from her veins and throw it in the eyes of the Death Eaters; anything to buy another second, anything to win.

BRIEF OVERVIEW OF FAMILY: 

There’s no question of whether or not Mary loves her family – of course she does! She loves her mum, who once tried to braid her hair but only managed to tangle it up so badly that they had to cut some of it off. She loves her dad and his terrible, stupid jokes that she doesn’t get half the time but snorts at regardless. She loves Adam too, how can she not? They had their dual act perfected; ‘I wash, you dry’, ‘I help Mum, you help Dad’, ‘I take Sarah, you take John’. And Sarah and John, the babies of the family. Except they’re not babies anymore, are they? Mary loves them too, with her entire heart and more, but she missed John’s first day in middle school. She missed Sarah’s first boyfriend. She still sees them as those tiny bundles who cried a lot, pooped a lot, and refused to ever let go of her hair, but that’s not who they are.

It’s better this way, though. The less contact any of them have with the Wix World the better. Maybe one day, when the war’s over, Mary will be able to go home and apologise. She’s not sorry, but it’s not like any of them know her anymore. They’ll believe her. And they deserve an apology, anyway. It’s the least she can do. After that… she’s not sure. But it doesn’t matter. She’ll cross that bridge when she gets to it.

OCCUPATION: 

Barista at a teashop in Diagon Alley. Yes, she’s very much aware of how ridiculous the mental image of Mary MacDonald serving tea is, but it’s a pretty sweet gig. The pay’s good, the shifts are flexible enough that she can structure her daily routine around the Order as opposed to her job, and if all that takes is serving a punch of grannies tea and biscuits then Mary will do just that. Who knows, maybe one day the old hags will even take a hint and stop telling her what a pretty girl she is, but shame for that ugly scar. Her boss sometimes gives her crap for not smiling and playing along, but considering Mary hasn’t spat in their tea just yet, she thinks she’s handling it perfectly well.

ROLE WITHIN THE ORDER/THOUGHTS ABOUT THE ORDER: 

Being in the Order was never about sitting around and moralising, not to Mary. It was an outlet, it was a purpose, it was an opportunity, but never passivity. And the fact that all they seem to do nowadays is talk doesn’t sit right with her. James Potter is dead and that’s shit, she gets it. She misses him too. But unless the Order wants everyone else to join him in the afterlife, it’s time they got their shit together. And none of that vagueness, Mary’s talking plans and action. Immediate, if possible. Before the Death Eaters get even stronger.

That’s one thing she brings to the Order, at least. The push, the harsh truths, the pressure. The Muggleborn perspective, if you would. Because of course all those noble Purebloods can afford to babble at length – it’s not them being slaughtered. They might care, sure, they might want to help, but that doesn’t change the fact they don’t understand. The clock ticks differently for them, more slowly, quietly, while Mary can barely hear her own heartbeat over its deafening noise. Hell, they might be out of time already. Not that that changes anything; there’s only one path to take and Mary feels as though she’s running ahead while her fellow members leisurely trudge behind. 

But being part of the Inner Circle’s given her a voice. They have to listen to her now, she gets to have a say in the decision-making, and that’s not nothing. She advocates for action, for fighting, but she also understands that if they do that, they’re going to have to fight smart, not just blindly charge into battle. It’s not as strange as it was once was, to coordinate with multiple people, and while Mary would still only ever leave her survival in her own hands, she’s accepted that she’s a part of something bigger now.

On paper, it should work. They’ve got some crazy smart people in their ranks (and some downright crazy people, but that’s neither here nor there), they’ve got some great duellists, and that should make up for lacking in numbers. So in theory, they’ve still got a shot. And if you ask Mary, it’s about time they got off their asses and started returning the favour.

An eye for an eye isn’t quite right. She’s always been a fan of walking the extra mile, after all. When Mulciber marked her face, she ended up taking his life. And now they’d killed James. What does that say about the Order, if they let that go unpunished? Might as well line up and paint targets on their foreheads, if you ask her.

SURVIVAL: 

Mary’s tough, is all it really comes down to. She’s dead set on surviving (ha, exactly the kind of stupid joke her dad might make) and has no qualms about fighting dirty or making tough calls. Can’t afford to, really.

But thing is, she’s good at the whole surviving thing. She’s good at covering her tracks, at making sure no one sees her entering or leaving her flat, at taking care of those who take an unhealthy interest. She’d say she’s made for it, almost, but how fucked up would that be, to be made for war? Then again, what does she know about fucked up. She’s a murderer, plain and simple, and maybe it should bother her how much it doesn’t bother her. Sure, she’d had the whole breakdown-in-the-bathroom after that mission, but in the end, she’d looked at her reflection in the mirror and there’d been nothing but satisfaction there. The bastard had deserved it; if war means Mary has to play jury and executioner then so be it.

RELATIONSHIPS: 

She’s heard all that crap some members spew about the Order being a family and whatnot and she’s just not buying all that. Her family is miles away in Bristol; these people here are closer to being her coworkers. And yet. It’s them she talks to daily. Not her mum, her dad, her siblings, but the Order. She’s grown fond of some of them, she can’t deny it, but that doesn’t mean shit. It’s still Mary MacDonald against the world, just as it’s always been.

Lily Evans: When Mary said Lily needed a wake-up call, her boyfriend being killed isn’t exactly what she’d meant. She’s sorry for Lily’s loss, of course she is, but there’ll be time to grieve later. Now, Mary’s curious if maybe Lily will finally see what she’s been talking about this whole time. And if that still doesn’t open her eyes… well. Nothing wrong with a lost cause, only it takes up space.

Caradoc Dearborn: His fighting club is a good idea, Mary can admit as much. She’d even offered to join and teach those airy-fairy softies how to duel. Her only question is, will all that training finally lead to some actual fighting? She certainly hopes so.

Regulus Black: Mary had never liked Regulus back in school, and she doesn’t like him still, but that doesn’t matter. He’s got important information and valuable insights, and Mary wants to know. Spending time in his miserable company is just an unfortunate bonus.

Remus Lupin: Apparently, Lupin’s a werewolf, but unless that’s going to somehow help him in a fight, Mary couldn’t give two shits. He hasn’t gone and tried to kill them all just yet which is more than she can say about Voldemort so in her book, Lupin’s still alright.

Frank Longbottom: Mary’s got no actual proof of this, but she just knows he’s holding Alice back. Why else would she be so distracted as of late? Love sounds nice and all, but things like that are precisely why Mary doesn’t touch it with a ten-foot pole.

OOC EXPLORATION:

SHIPS/ANTI-SHIPS: 

Love is so far down on Mary’s priority list that she can barely even see it. So of course I’d love for her to have to deal with a situation where she finds herself interested in somebody beyond just sex. But those things just happen naturally, I think, so I’ll just say that if the chemistry is right, I wouldn’t mind exploring just about any ship with Mary.

WHAT PRIVILEGES AND BIASES DOES YOUR CHARACTER HAVE?

A Muggleborn and a woman! Hide your darling little sons with their perfect little bowties, it’s the nightmare of every Pureblood mother. Really, they’re not even worth Mary’s mockery, but she gives it freely, she simply can’t help herself. Even outside of being bigoted and prejudiced, their entire little society is so damn funny to her. Twats, all of them.

Other than her clear bias against Purebloods, and perhaps contradictory of it, Mary isn’t all that fond of meek Muggleborns either. What good are they if they’re just going to be proving Voldemort right? They can use a wand and they can fight; that’s more than enough in Mary’s book. But some prefer to run away, like cowards, and she has no respect for people like that.

On the other hand, from a more Muggle perspective, Mary isn’t as liberal with sexuality as one might believe. She has no problems talking about sex, but when sexual orientation comes into play, it’s a bit of a different matter. 

There’s a reason she hasn’t explored her potential attraction to women, after all. The way she sees it, sexuality is as much of a statement as anything else, except right now, there’s no need to add that on top of an entire war. She finds it needlessly attention-seeking, the people who are so open with their preferences that they almost seem to flaunt it.

Moving onto privileges, Mary just doesn’t get why Muggleborns would feel the need to flee because she’s healthy, athletic, and good at duelling; she doesn’t have the perspective of somebody who’s been driven to a corner, helpless. Furthermore, she has a job and an apartment, she’s secure in her position in the Order, and she already has a body count which gives her an additional confidence boost. She’s got it well when compared to other Muggleborns, but she would be pissed if somebody mentioned that.

WHAT ARE YOU MOST LOOKING FORWARD TO? I just really love it here. That’s it, plain and simple. And as soon as I figured I could balance another character, my fingers were already itching to fill out the app.

PLOT DROP IDEAS (OPTIONAL): Nothing comes to mind right now, I’m afraid.

ANYTHING ELSE? Nope :)

[yourdeepestfathoms]

Texting & Tamarins

Cries of pain, the smell of a sickroom, the blank faces of the attendants, Jane’s cries of frantic agony, the helplessness, the fear-

  Joan’s eyes snapped open.

  No sickroom, no dying woman. Just her own cabin.

  She curled up into a ball and lay there, shivering.

  Instinctively, she reached for her phone.

  ‘R U awake?’

  Maggie teased her about using text speak but it was so much simpler when she was in a hurry. Such as now.

  The answer pinged back almost immediately: no.

  The response made her whole body sink with relief- Maggie was awake, it was all ok- and she was already starting to key in her response when she stopped herself. Maggie had said no, after all. And she HAD- very nicely- asked Joan to try to keep from texting her after midnight, in the interest of good sleep hygiene (or as she had phrased it- ‘I love you but it better be an emergency or I’m not going to have gotten enough sleep to not kill someone’.)

  Did this count as an emergency?

  True they hadn’t hashed out the finer details….but still, probably not.

  She pushed her phone back under her pillow and curled up again.

  It was fine. She’d just go to sleep and tell Maggie about the dream in the morning.

  Except.

  She just couldn’t switch off.

  The cabin felt….extra dark, somehow. More sinister. Usually, it was her bolthole from the sometimes chaotic and often crowded rest of the ship. Now though, it felt unfamiliar. Try as she might, she couldn’t shake the absolutely ridiculous feeling that there was someone there with her- there, or just outside the door…

  She rolled herself into her blankets, which helped for about thirty seconds...but then she felt just as vulnerable as before. Vulnerable- and alone. The fear that there was someone creeping up on her was mixed somehow with the feeling that she was the only one awake on the entire ship, and even though logically she knew that wasn't true, the thought made her feel oddly lonely. She thought of the sleeping ship- and of the bleak empty ocean surrounding them- and her eyes stung with tears.

  Rolling onto her stomach, she started to cry very quietly into her pillow, hating herself at the same time for being so pathetic. Even the knowledge that she’d feel like an idiot in the morning didn’t help dissipate the horrible feeling of desolation building in the pit of her stomach.

  Alone….all alone….

  The quiet knock on the door made her freeze, heart suddenly pounding. Someone was outside, She lay there, too afraid to even breathe, straining her ears- would they try the next door, or would they stick to hers? She was suddenly seized with a terrible fear that she’d forgotten to lock her door behind her- they locked automatically, of course, but what if something had malfunctioned, what if it hadn’t closed properly, what if-

  ‘Joan?’

  It was Maggie.

  Relief flooded her at the familiar voice and she scrambled out of bed, stubbing her toe in her hurry to open the door.

  As she did, her previous fears felt especially foolish- the corridor was lit as it always was, she could even faintly hear the sounds of other people still moving around. 

She surreptitiously brushed her damp face with the sleeve of her pajama top, hoping Maggie wouldn’t notice anything amiss and she’d be able to escape with her dignity (such as it was) intact.

  ‘Why were you crying?’

  No such luck.

  ‘Um...I wasn’t?’

  Maggie raised an eyebrow and Joan felt her resolve crumbling- it was hard to obfuscate with someone as frustratingly blunt and straightforward as Maggie.

  ‘It’s stupid really, I just had a bit of a bad dream and when I woke up, I kept thinking that there was someone….there with me-’ It was ridiculous that even though she knew herself to be perfectly safe, actually verbalising it all made her throat ache and her eyes sting. ‘-like in the cabin or right outside, and I kept seeing, I kept seeing Jane, I kept seeing her screaming and I could smell the blood….and I was watching her die again….and it-’ A sob tore itself, unbidden, from her throat. ‘It was just really lonely and scary-’

  She was pathetic, she knew it- to be whining like a child, after nothing worse than a dream, bothering Maggie no less. She’d been speaking to her bare feet and she was reluctant to even look up and face the guitarist- she didn’t want to see Maggie’s blank inscrutable look, her distinctly-underwhelmed face, the one she showed to audience members who complained, to passers by who passed remarks on her height, to anyone who was dismissive of the importance of the band to the success of the whole show. 

  She didn’t want to see the unimpressed stare Maggie was surely greeting her teary rambling explanation with- so it was a surprise when instead of being questioned or scolded as she expected, she felt herself being pulled into Maggie’s warm arms.

  ‘Hey, it’s ok-’ Despite being several inches shorter, Maggie still managed to exude a surprisingly protective feel. Like she would tear the throat out of anyone who tried to get too close. ‘It’s all ok-’

  ‘I’m sorry-’

  ‘Don’t apologise, you’re fine-’

  She sniffled into the shoulder of Maggie’s hoody, feeling humiliated but also comforted. 

  ‘I’m sorry I woke you up, I know it’s late-’

  ‘That’s ok, it’s ok.’ Maggie pulled back enough to look her in the eye. ‘I did say you could call me in emergencies.’

  ‘I don’t think this counts as an emergency…’

  Maggie shrugged. ‘Hey, anything that makes you cry on me in a corridor is an emergency in my book, right? I’m glad you texted.’

  ‘I stopped texting because I felt bad about disturbing you-’

  ‘Well, I mean you’d already woken me up by that point-’

  Fresh tears welled in Joan’s eyes and Maggie squeezed her hand.

  ‘Joke. Honestly, you could have carried on texting, I wouldn't have minded.’

  ‘Sorry for getting you out of bed though-’

  ‘It’s really, really ok-’ Maggie pulled Joan back into her, gently rubbing circles up and down her back. ‘Anyway, you didn’t get me out of bed, I just got….concerned when you didn’t text back so I thought I’d check on you and…..well, I was right!’

  Joan gave a watery chuckle at Maggie’s (for her) exaggeratedly self-congratulatory tone and burrowed in closer.

  ‘Now-’ There was a (small) smile in Maggie’s voice too- it vibrated in her throat where Joan’s face was buried. ‘Let’s get you back to bed and warmed up a bit- you’re shivering-’

  Joan wasn’t entirely sure if the tremors were entirely due to the night chill of the corridor or not but she didn’t feel like arguing. The adrenalin of everything was starting to wear off; she stifled a yawn.

  Maggie nudged her back towards the half open cabin door. ‘Get your pillow first- I’m done with you stealing mine in the middle of the night like you usually do…. if I go to medical with a stiff neck again, they’re going to think I’ve got an actual problem-’

  Pillow in hand, Joan joined Maggie in the corridor again.

   Maggie looked at her without speaking.

  ‘What?’

  She kept staring.

  ‘What?’

  Maggie sighed. ‘God, you’re actually going to make me say it, aren’t you? Go get your monkey thing or whatever it is. And there I was trying to be all tactful and shit-’

  ‘......she’s a tamarin.’

  There was no point trying to deny anything, after all; face burning slightly, Joan reentered the cabin with as much poise as she could muster and scooped up the slightly worn creature from where it had fallen to the floor, hiding it behind the pillow in her arms so it wouldn’t be seen in the corridor.

  ‘You don’t need to be all weird about it-’ Maggie went on as they started down the hall to her cabin. ‘As if I care that you have a stuffed marmoset or whatever- it’s not like you’re the only one-’

  Hope flared in her chest. ‘Really?’

  ‘Yeah, Bessie sleeps with a flick knife under her pillow-’

  ‘That’s….not really the same thing….Also she’s a tamarin….’

  ‘Meh, flick knife, marmoset. Marmoset, tamarin, Potato, potahto-’

  Maggie swiped open the door of her cabin- the faint smell of (strictly forbidden) incense and (even more strictly forbidden) cigarettes enveloped them.

  Other cast members had complained about the permanence of the aroma of both contraband items but to Joan, the cabin smelled of safety.

  ‘Get comfy. And hands off my pillow, remember.’

  Maggie pulled back at the covers and motioned for Joan to get in first before climbing in after her. It was a tight squeeze but, with the wall on one side and the warm shape of Maggie next to her, Joan felt safer than she had all night. There was just no way anyone- even the most determined intruder- would be able to get past Maggie.

  Maggie’s thoughts were obviously running in the same direction. Clicking off the light, she wrapped an arm around Joan’s stomach and pulled her in close. Her breath tickled the back of her neck.

  ‘You’re ok now. I’ve got you.’

  ‘I know.’ She yawned again. Somehow in Maggie’s cabin, the dark and quiet felt soothing rather than threatening. ‘Thanks, Maggie.’

  ‘You don’t have to say thank you, you know.’

  ‘I know but-’ She struggled to find the words. ‘You came and you didn’t have to, I woke you and disturbed you, and it wasn’t even for a good reason and-’ She could feel herself getting worked up again.

  ‘Shhh.’ Maggie pressed closer to her; her hand found Joan’s in the dark and squeezed it gently. ‘It’s ok. Go to sleep. Dream some nice dreams. Dream about tamarins or some shit.’

  ‘But-’

  ‘Shhh.’ A kiss was pressed between her shoulder blades. ‘It’s all ok. I love you. Just rest.’ There was a pause. ‘Slight addendum to that- it’s all still ok and I still love you but if you don’t move your monkey thing to your side of the bed, it’s going on the floor-’

  ‘....it’s a tamarin.’

  Joan drifted to sleep to the sound of Maggie’s quiet laughter.