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#that i gotta manually go in and fix
potatobugz · 2 years
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new flipaclip update messed up like. all of my projects I was working on : )
all my apes. gone
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no1ryomafan · 4 months
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I hope whoever thought it was a good idea for AO3 to not allow on mobile the ability of bold and Italic text to be carried over from a copy n paste doc even when you FUCKING SELECT HTML AND NOT PLAIN TEXT a very pleasant “I hope you were kicked off the staff” and I’m only half joking.
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exopelagic · 6 months
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okay facing consequences of my actions
#I thought I’d gotten away with it this time#okay it’s 3am and I may have discovered something that completely ruins me#everyone is asleep so I can’t tell if this is me being sleep deprived or not!#so I need to sleep now but I haven’t cleaned my code up or written my answers#I do Not have time#if I don’t sleep now I’m gonna be having a bad time tomorrow morning and I am significantly less productive rn than I could be#with other people around I kinda need that y#so I should go to bed. but also. this code needs cleaning. but also. even if I fall asleep now I’m only getting like 5 hours MAX#I need a good few hours tomorrow morning to have a shot at doing this properly#so it would be more useful to sleep now and wake up as early as possible than keep going tonight bc I’m not going to finish tonight#okay. fuck. I hate this#if I could think straight I’d be able to fix this easy which is probably a good reason to sleep#it’s just an annoying logical problem that I gotta follow through bc currently I’m stuck between three possibilities and there might be more#I have these two rasters and I gotta calculate the area overlap#the first method counts the number of presence points in each (probably) and then counts the number in overlap raster w manually set values#the second counts total predicted points and points where they’re predicted to be alone and does a calculation with that for each species#that one with all points from both species + pseudoabsence. vs method 3 which does that with just individual species coordinates#method 1&2 are now homologous now I JUST caught the logical error but method 3 is what he gave us#but actually he might have fucked up in not including pseudoabsence#i don’t know if method 3 works for two different species either honestly#it gives me results I like much more (my overlap is 100% for one of the species and that shoooouldnt rlly happen even if it’s possible) but#I think it might actually just be wrong because it can’t account for#wait so the line is taking the prediction for all coordinates for each species for each species’ initial coordinates. and not pseudoabsence#and that set of predictions for each species coordinate set is then taken and yeah it’s no longer comparable you can’t count each alone#not with two different species bc you need an overlapping dataset to do that OKAY I have solved that logical problem my initial method works#which is annoying bc the result sucks but whatever I checked the rasters and it’s actually identical so#okay now I’ve figured that out. twenty minutes later. sleep I think it’ll help most#luke.txt
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bmpmp3 · 2 months
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i keep choosing like the hardest songs possible to try to learn to make midis for vocal synth covers on. why do i keep doing this to myself. like is that reverb doubling back creating noise, vocal doubling, or a harmony. if its a harmony i'll explode on impact
#im basically as done with the growing wings/tsukiru files now#(there is whispering in the bg that i have made the executive decision to ignore in the vocal files)#(and instead just fuck around with the aspiration files in the mix instead LOL BUT im happy with the rest <3)#just gotta finish the tuning for the final covers. so the other day i started a new song#which has some crazy vocalizations in an intensely ontarian hockey rock way. the yodels. the vowel combos.....#every other note is like detuned in different directions.... its gonna be slow going this cover LOL#its so funny so like i use sv's vocal to midi functions pretty extensively#its a godsend to me. im pretty great with timing and im good at telling when somethings wrong but my ear training is. non existent#so getting the ballpark of where notes generally are helps a lot and then i can just fix it manually <3#BUT anyway yeah i use it pretty extensively. usually making multiple conversions at diff settings for reference#and usually i dont use the lyric transcription function but this time i did one to see what it would think of ontario english#dear lord it did NAWT know what to do. wasnt prepared for the vowel situation HKJDSHd#its fun tho. dreamtonics needs to make an ontarian accented vocal tho. for me. little ol me#so i can stop feeling bad when i change a beautiful classically trained 'and' from ax n d to some kinda of like#eh ey n d situation JHSKDLJKDAHJd but its important!!! its important for the song#but in general theres like a bajillion songs i wanna cover anyway. i have a playlist. its getting uncomfortably long#like. nearly 200 long... ruh roh#some are really short simple songs tho i should really practice on those. instead of trying songs with canadian vowel shifting shenanigans#altho in general even when covering a song by americans i do tend to out of habit try changing pronunciations to be closer to#the way people here say it LOL i had to reel myself in from doing too many strange things to the word 'human'#in that human songs cover i did. i wanted to do such strange things to those vowels. its my nature. eh.
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marionluth · 4 months
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Tony coaching 3-yo-Morgan how to handle her big feelings after a tantrum, while Peter watches.
Tony: It’s okay to feel angry, Morgan. We all feel angry sometimes. But do we smash our water bottles on the item or person that made us angry? No, we don’t! Now, remember how we spoke about blowing out our finger-candles when we feel mad to help us feel calmer?
Morgan: Daddy, that’s stupid
Harley: Yo, tell him, girl. We're not blowing out finger-candles when we're angry. We flip off fingers!
Tony: * death glare at Harley before turning back to Morgan *
Baby, we don't say stupid! Stupid is a Harley word. Can you think of a mommy word to use instead?
Morgan: *scrunching up her nose in thought* The one mommy uses when you and Petey and Harley make something essplode in the lab…
Harley:
Tony:
Peter:
Morgan: Uhm… Mo… Mormonic!
Peter: *snickers*
Harley: * spurts out his red bull laughing *
Tony: *fighting to keep a straight face* “I think it’s Bluey time!”
Morgan: Yaaaay! Bluey!
Peter: I think you handled that very well!
Tony: And I think you’ll end up on manual dishwashing duty, if you don’t fix your face!
Peter: Nuh, I gotta go. Take it out on Harley.
Harley: *flips Peter off, still coughing*
Tony: I'm too old for this sh...poo.
Peter: See you later. And don’t let the kid’s brain entirely melt with the blue horror show. You know it only gives her torture ideas!
Tony: Beat it, webhead!
Harley: *still coughing up his lungs*
Tony: * to Morgan, sitting next to her to watch Bluey * What is your brother talking about, nano-hulk? Bluey rocks!
Morgan: * evil toothy grin * I wanna play mount mumanddad!
Harley: Yaaaay!
Tony: * whimpers *
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egberts · 4 months
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when you say you are checking mods for updates.. do you mean that you regularly go to the sites you downloaded mods from and check on them?? 😭 i just started downloading mods and cc for sims and i def haven’t been doing that. idk how to manage mods or have good file organization habits, but it seems like everyone online already knows what they’re doing 😢
oh yeah bud, you gotta bookmark those websites, especially if you are downloading more than just hair, clothes and furniture. lots of mods break all the time, mostly after updates. curseforge has the sims actual, legit mod manager now where if you download the mods through it you can update them through it too, but there are also a few homebrew managers out there that are amazing - one even has a companion phone app to swipe away cc you don't want anymore with ease! another essential tool is sims4studio which can batch fix any broken cc, for example in one update all cc beds broke but with s4s it was easy to click a few buttons and have every file combed through and fixed automatically by the program instead of me! there's another tool called "sims 4 tray importer" which is great for manual deletion too, just put everything you don't want on a single sim or lot and then delete it en masse. all of these things are super easy to find with some googling (especially now that I've pointed you in the right direction) and I'm pretty sure most of them have comprehensive tutorials by any random person on YouTube. as for organizing your cc folders, part of it is preference and part of it is for ease of finding and fixing things. there are also plenty of tips/tricks/tools/tutorials for this aspect of simming out there too.
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luvhughes43 · 1 year
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all-american b!tch | hughes!sister
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guts masterlist🦋 - luvhughes43 masterlist🌙
summary: hughes!sister dealing with the success of her brothers, online hate, and her feelings of having to be strong all the time.
note: little bit of luca fantilli x reader
word count: 1.9k
and i am built like a mother and a total machine
i feel for your every little issue, i know just what you mean
and i make light of the darkness
i've got sun in my motherfuckin’ pocket, best believe
yeah, you know me
y/n hughes is the kindest girl you’d ever have the pleasure of meeting. as the youngest and only daughter of one of the most iconic hockey families, yn grew up in a turbulent world where she had learned to thrive. she plays the family sport, had to navigate through the hardships of being associated with her brothers, and she would be the first to tell you that her experiences had made her a better person. 
“okay trevor listen,” yn hughes or, as referred to by trevor, tiny tot, leaned in closer to the aforementioned boy. “it's quite simple… ghosting the girl will only make her trust you less. i know the podcasts have said that getting close to a girl then ghosting her will make them fall for you but seriously, that's such a bad idea” 
trevor nodded along to each word, pulling out his phone so he could draft a text to “the girl” in question. “okay so like… what should i say then?”
“hmm” yn loomed over the side of trevor's phone as she watched his fingers drift over the keys. once he had finished, he tilted his screen over to her so she could either approve or deny his message. 
there was a brief pause, “i can't tell if you're joking or not,” yn responds, causing jack to giggle as he paused to read the message over both yn and trevors shoulder. 
“I always wondered why you were better at meeting chicks at bars…” jack chuckles, “they never had to read one of your messages”
“its not that bad!” trevor whines loudly as he attempts to grab his phone back from you. 
you hold the phone away from him, swiftly raising your free hand to stop him from moving any closer towards the phone. “don't worry i can fix this,” you speak smoothly to which jack bursts into another round of giggles. 
“bro you cannot tell a girl that you-”
trevor clamped his hand over jacks mouth, effectively stopping him from reciting the awful text to the room full of their friends. “shush, the master is working” 
you rewriting trevors text was just one of the many things you did for the people you considered family. you would sit with luke for hours, letting him rant to you about his move to NJD back when he was still at michigan with you. you would have weekly recaps with your best friends and teammates about their lives, always making sure to help any of them out if needed. 
forgive and i forget
i know my age, and i act like it
got what you can’t resist
i’m a perfect all-american
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despite the positives, you got an overwhelming amount of hate for just… existing. you could be the most perfect person, and people who didn't know you would still come after you online. 
you would never admit to anyone that the hate and harassment bothered you but… it always stung. in the beginning, when you first “came into the public's eye” when you started playing on the umichs womens hockey team you couldn’t avoid the hatred. people from school had started using you for your connections to all the boys you knew, and before you had the time to go private on socials (you’re now public again), you would spend hours reading through hate and manually deleting all the messages. 
ynhughes86 posted 1 year ago
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liked by luca.fantilli, lhughes_06, edwards.73, and others
ynhughes86 welcome to the den🐺️🗣
tagged: umichwhockey, teammates,, and more
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teammate1 GO BLUE🗣🗣
lhughes_06 #goblue
jackhughes andddd everybody screamed!!
jackhughes number lookin fresh
liked by ynhughes86
_quinnhughes 〽️
trevorzegras tiny tot making moves🫡
ynhughes86 youve gotta let that go..
user03 the power of being a hughes💀💀
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user82 did daddy and mommy pay ur way in?
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user21 not surprised that shes playing for umich… lets be real no other team would take her. shes a hockey nepo baby fr
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user44 ??? have u even looked at her stats and plays? shes definitely good lol
user09 shes nowhere near her brothers levels lets be real
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user77 looks like she cares more about partying than she does about hockey... surprising.. not!😒🙄
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i am light as a feather, i’m fresh as the air
coca-cola bottles that i only use to curl my hair
i got class and integrity
just like a goddamn Kennedy, i swear
with love to spare
after a few months of going through hate comment deep dives, you promised yourself that you wouldn’t let them bother you anymore. In celebration, you made your instagram public again and paid absolutely no attention to any of the hateful people in your comments and dms. 
yhughes86 just posted !
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liked by jackhughes, umichwhockey, dylanduke25, and others
ynhughes86 just your average roadie🫡
tagged: teammate5, teammate2, and others
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ynhughes86 special shoutout to trevorzegras for losing our bet! without u i wouldn’t have been able to do what i do🙏 aka spend money at the mall
liked by trevorzegras
teammate5 we should never be let loose in the mall ever again
ynhughes86 we should never be allowed off the bus
lhughes_06 dub after dub
ynhughes86 oh u know it💯
luca.fantilli is this why you were teaching me about girl math? u were trying to justify your purchases?
ynhughes86 … no comment
user32 using trevors money… wow. so she's a gold digger too?
user91 u guys are so lame let a girl live
ynhughes86 just posted !
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liked by teammate, jackhughes, _quinnhughes, and others
ynhughes86 all the love at the banquet tonight
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teammate1 love uuu my forever girl
ynhughes86 love u more!! u looked so good tonight
luca.fantilli girl in the last pic is kinda cute idk
ynhughes86 kind of? 
luca.fantilli girl in the last pic is very cute im 100% sure of it
ynhughes86 the cute girl in the last pic thinks youre 100% cute too
lhughes_06 the guy in none of the pics thinks you guys are disgusting
user44 no style no game
user81 grow up loser
i’m a perfect all-american bitch
with perfect all-american lips
and perfect all-american hips
i know my place and this is it
ynhughes86 just posted !
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liked by luca.fantilli, colecaufield, _quinnhughes, and others
ynhughes86 perfect all-american or whatever olivia rodrigo said
tagged: luca.fantilli
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trevorzegras that's right no swearing for you tiny tot
ynhughes86 😐
user57 “or whatever olivia rodrigo said” yeah she hates women
user91 thats why she's so close to the guys but u didnt hear that from me!
user16 if u guys dont leave this girl alone…
teammate2 OHH BFF LOOKS SO HOT
teammate3 please marry me
luca.fantilli 🤤🤤
liked by ynhughes86
lhughes_06 nope. 
i don't get angry when i’m pissed
i'm the eternal optimist
i scream inside to deal with it
whenever something bothers you, you keep it in. you hold all of your troubles and worries so deep within you that eventually, they float away and come back to haunt you when you least expect it. you thought that if you ignored all of your problems, that they would somehow fix themselves without any intervention from anyone else. 
it wasn’t always helpful. 
all the time
i’m grateful all the time
i’m sexy and i’m kind
i’m pretty when i cry
“they only ask me about my brothers, lu” your sniffles were quieted by the fabric of lucas sweater as you pressed yourself against his chest. you had played possibly the best game of your career, and the post interview questions were all about your brothers and family. questions wondering about their training and practices and how that had impacted you, how their game influenced yours. it made you feel like you were irrelevant in your own career. 
“i am so grateful for my family and how they’ve helped me grow as a player,” you responded politely to the interviewers' inquiries. it's not like you weren’t grateful. you knew that your family had a huge impact on your skills and you were glad that they were there to help you. but nobody ever wondered what your individual experiences were. all your training had to be a direct reflection of your brothers. your playing style, even unrelated, had to do with your brothers. your wins were a direct result of their greatness. nothing you would ever do or succeed in would be solely yours. 
“i love them,” you sob, “i really do! i just want people to see me” 
lucas' arms tightened around you as he started brushing your hair away from your face. “i know, baby” he whispered into your ear, holding you close as he waited for your breathing to calm down. 
“i just wanna be me!” you slumped against lucas front, who carefully pulled you over to your bed so you could sit down on top of him. 
you could hear the loud pop music blaring from the speakers downstairs, and you listened in silence to the people trudging up and down the stairs as they no doubt looked for a bathroom. 
“have you talked to your brothers about this?” lucas' soft voice cuts into the silence. 
you pull away from him slightly so you could look at him in the eyes. “no…” you admitted quietly. “they wouldn’t understand,” you leaned your head against lucas shoulder as you cuddled into him. 
he hummed quietly to you, a hand running down your back to help further soothe you. “i think you might feel better if you open up to them,” luca hedged. both of you knew that your previous statement was a lie. 
“i don't want them to think of me like that…” 
“like what?” luca questioned, his hand never leaving your back as you continued to prop yourself against him. 
you sighed. “i just… they always come to me. i don't want that to stop or for them to think that im weak” your words were quiet as you finally admitted your true feelings to your boyfriend. 
“they could never think you're weak,” luca murmurs reassuringly. “luke talks all the time about how he thinks you're adjusting to life here better than he did,” you look up at luca inquisitively. “and quinn, he is so proud of you! he talks so highly of you all the time… and jack, i mean come on. they all love and support you so much. they won’t stop asking for advice or talking to you because you're having some troubles” luca explains. “also, there’s nothing wrong with being weak. you should let yourself be open with your brothers just like they are with you. you deserve that”
“have i ever told you that i love you?” you tearfully smile at the boy who was always so good at listening to you.
luca smiles back, “not enough” he jokes as he presses a soft kiss to your cheek. 
you brush a few strands of hair out of his face. “i'll call them tomorrow,” you add, reciprocating luca's kiss on the cheek. 
luca smiles, happy that you're no longer worked up and that you’ll finally tell your brothers your struggles. 
you spend the rest of the night hidden away from the raging party downstairs, wrapped up in your boyfriend's arms as you think about everything you try to hide. you didn’t have to be just one thing. you were allowed to be kind and to have complex emotions. you could be upset and angry without being a mean girl. perfect never existed, and you were glad that you were finally open to letting others see the cracks in your walls. 
lucas’ hair was soft as you ran your hands through his locks. “i love you,” luca mumbles. 
“i love you” you whisper to your boyfriend, placing a kiss on his shoulder as he shifts to lay his head on the middle of your chest. 
you easily fall asleep comforted by the fact that you were allowed to be flawed, and that no matter what, you’ll always have your people by your side.
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jetra4ivor · 14 days
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3-4 of my posts regarding the Minecraft Movie have gone viral. And as someone who has never had a post go viral before I gotta say…
I do not like it.
Maybe on other websites it’s not a big deal, but here on tumblr it is a nightmare.
The biggest issue is that it’s really hard to filter the reblogs and be able to respond to things. If I’m like scrolling down through the reblogs to see what people are saying or writing, the SECOND a new reblog or like comes in tumblr INSTANTLY jumps me back up to the top. Because tumblr wants me to see that someone new is reblogging my posts.
And when you’re only dealing with 1 or 2 new reblogs or likes every few minutes or hours… not a problem.
But when it’s literally multiple times a SECOND? Omg… I can’t scroll down. I can’t keep up. It’s just CONSTANTLY snapping me back up to the top and I can’t scroll through anything and see what people are saying!!!
I was hoping after a few days it would slow down… BUT IT HASN’T. The only way I’ve been able to respond to anything lately is by manually finding the individual posts or reblogs themselves and scrolling through the comments there instead.
The second issue is that tumblr keeps your post as it was reblogged. Even if you edit the post later to fix a spelling or grammar mistake, tumblr keeps the incorrect version of the post if that was reblogged before you corrected things.
And for example, in one of the viral posts my phone auto corrected “Piglins” to “pigeons.” And I didn’t notice it at first until the post was well into being viral and someone pointed it out. But even after I corrected the mistake, it had been reblogged so many times now that the incorrect version is all anyone sees. So I’m still getting people telling me I wrote it wrong LONG after I already fixed it 😭
I post primarily about gay MCSM content. Specifically involving female Jessie and Petra. I don’t generally post about other Minecraft stuff, as I try to keep my blog focused on MCSM related content. I probably wouldn’t mind too much if going viral meant more people saw some of the gay MCSM content I reblog or talk about…
But none of the viral reblogging has transferred over into any of my other posts. Which is sad because one of the viral posts is about people talking about how good MCSM is. After nearly a decade of people talking down on MCSM it’s so fantastic to see so many people stepping up and defending it and saying it was good… but none of that positivity is spreading into any of my other posts about the game!
You guys actually liked MCSM? Please… come into the MCSM fandom! Inject your love of the game into this fandom! We NEED you here! We’ve felt so isolated and small! Where have you all been? Why won’t you join us here and create new art or talk about your favorite characters or moments?
Why hasn’t any of my viral success transferred into more fans of the game joining the MCSM community? 😭 It’s so gratifying to see the love of MCSM in the comments to the Minecraft Movie trailer… why isn’t that resulting in more people coming into the fandom on tumblr?
Don’t get me wrong… it’s nice that people liked some of my posts enough for them to go viral. But the way tumblr works makes going viral really difficult to deal with and I’m not seeing the cross pollination of MCSM fans into any of the OTHER posts I’ve made about MCSM!
I just want more people talking about the lesbian block people! You came here for the Minecraft Movie Trailer dissing… please stay for the lesbian block people!
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ganondoodle · 9 months
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some random ideas for the totk rewritten project
krog (korok) seeds
i think i found a way to include krog seeds even if i reintroduced bags for expanding your inventory- what if the krog seeds are redeemed for the amiibo sets and maybe a few new things? that way you are not forced to engage with krog puzzles if you are tired of them and its not essential either, you can choose what armor set you want instead of being "surpised" by the same link hat three times in a row for fighting your way through the depths (like i was lol)
considering im rewriting the krog forest to be like a minidungeon with a unique miniboss and boss AND you start the quest for restoring the master sword there i think that this is acceptable
what if one of the expensive rewards was a krog armor set that includes the mask from the botw DLC but adds two more pieces, its effect could be to turn invisible as the krogs are to most people; considering how they are not invisible to everyone it could still work with important NPCs still seeing you AND you could run through monster camps without them chasing you if you just want to get through without you attacking them- since its expensive you gotta gather alot of krog seeds to buy it meaning it wouldnt make encounters much easier bc you have to fight alot of monsters before being able to afford it anyway and the effect is removed once you attack an enemy .... or maybe once you are spotted you can stand still and the effect restores itself nhfkjdnkjfdk
food + storage
to raise the difficulty a little i thought about bringing bottles back, they are physical items this time with a limited number and are able to store medicine and soup that has no expiration date; personally i like cooking tho so i want to keep it, maybe with the effect of being a bit more limited in number and, while not spoiling completely, it loses some of its effectiveness over time
how you use them im not yet sure, either the same way in inventory (which i think i will go for since i dont want to change it that drastically and with the added balance of limitation i think that is still fine) or on some kind of item wheel you can set yourself like in skyward sword
there are bags you can find as bigger items that will expand your weapon, shield or bow inventory slots, perhaps a small bag gives you one and a big one two slots- it would be a bigger and different reward for exploring or quests and fills the spot for inventory expansion
theres a chest in links house (i thought maybe links house is still links but they built onto it so zelda has a place to stay as well, like a bigger/double house) that can hold armor sets if you dont want to keep carrying all of them around but dont want to sell them either
repairable weapons through zelda
weapons still break but are full weapons again, i found the excuse of them all being useless now through the cataclysm ... somehow for some reason a pretty blatant way for forcing you to fuse stuff bc its literally the only viable thing to do, but i like the idea of inventing new weapons with materials; to balance it out and give you an incentive to help out your friends i figured that at first weapons still break, but in each region is a smith that can teach zelda (who is your companion in this rewrite) how to repair weapons of a certain type (zora, spear, goron, two handed, rito, bows, gerudo, one handed-- perhaps it is a longer quest of idk .. bringing certain weapons to those smith or similar) which she can do anywhere outside combat;
how broken the weapon is determines how much extra material she may need to do it- im still working on it but i got the idea of the status of the weapon being symbolized in three stages, fine, damaged and broken; damaged is the one that needs less material to fix up, broken costs more- a broken one might still occupy an inventory slot but is unusable or very very bad damage wise, you can throw it away either manually or when you try to pick up a new one you can choose if you want to swap it out (just like they did with stuff from chests in totk .. idk why they didnt add that to in game weapons lying on the ground too) or choose to keep it and repair it once you are out of combat
arrow types
i dont like the menuing in totk for the arrows ... it was one of the most frustrating things to deal with (especialyl bc it sorted your inventory too??? when you used the sorting in the quick menu???) so i wanted to change that a little, havign to go into the quick menu everytime for each arrow i find tedious too, so;
there are more arrow types but they are craftable with arrows and materials, you can craft them in bulk out of combat (the typical types from botw -fire,eletric,ice,bombs- but then add those confusion ones, wind, the cloudy shroom thingy, poison .. perhaps a few more if i can think of more but not too mayn to not clutter it again)
enigma stones function
i wanted to change how enigma stones function somewhat, they dont "enhance" the ability of the champion/sage (i still wanna call them chmapions bc thats what they areeeee) it allows them to link an ability of theirs to link without the orginal champion having to be present or dead, the stones come in set of two each and function somewhat like a magic communication between the player and the champion, once you obtain the second piece its embedded into links shiekah arm prosthetic (also something of my rewrite) and allow him to call upon their ability at will through a second selection wheel
ranch ruins
the ranch ruins i wanted to be rebuild (bc thats cool and i thought restoration was a theme? lol) and maybe you help rebuild it proper and as thanks you can put your horses there to roam around all at once when not taken out to ride, not a big gameplay thing but a neat quest with a rebuilding thing of a building we havent seen in its prime and a neat addition of letting you see all your horsies at once :)
(totk rewritten project)
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I love everything you are doing with Orihime, if it's not too much troble, I wanted to hear more of what she does when she get kidnapped. Also did Rukia try anything when she got sentenced to death for bulshit crimes? It's been forever since I read the manga, so I don't remember what rukia was feeling exactly during this time, if she accepted the whole thing bc she has spent way too much time in the soul society that she just didn't see it how much bulshit it was or something else, or if it was just your standard damsel in distress thing
Rukia behaves in the calm, rational but firm way you'd expect out of a seated officer, especially a lieutenant that earned her position through hard work and demonstration after demonstration that she could be trusted with such a position.
...Byakuya, on the other hand, was appointed to his position by birthright as the latest scion of a long but narrow line of people who retained their power by violence as social standing. So when Byakuya experiences the psychotic crisis of "the people you respect the most want the person you love the most dead", the coinflip of his emotions lands on tails in AEIWAM.
*****
"...To Death?" She asked, staring at Renji.
"Yeah." He winced, shifting uncomfortably.
"...For a Misdemeanor Infraction that, per code 3.15.27846 sub-section 42-4, carries a MAXIMUM penalty of a month's suspension without pay while a performance review is conducted, and, pending the review, possible termination of my job, not my whole person?" She continued.
"...Um. Yeah, yeah that's the official rules per the Shingami Legal Manual." Said Renji. "It's real fuc- it's very peculiar and I'm honestly not sure what to make of it. Also, when did you learn to quote the manual like-"
"I'm a Goddamn Lieutenant, I know the law, and this stinks on ice." She glared. "I know I'm not allowed to question the orders or ask who issued them, but did you double-check that this is, in fact, what they meant to send, and didn't give you the memo for someone else or send out the wrong butterfly?"
"Um." Renji winced, pointedly studying the wall to his left. "Kuchiki-Taicho went to do that as soon as he saw the order."
Rukia blanched. "Renji. When did he leave?"
"He left for the central 46's liaison office directly from the 6th division's office when we got the order about an hour ago. I wanted to go with him, but he insisted that he could handle it and that you should get the news from me rather than a stranger."
"Abarai Renji." She spoke, voice low and dangerous. "Do you remember what happened the first day I came home from the 13th division boot camp with that shiner?'
"Yeah, Kuchiki-taicho broke into Ukitake-taicho's house with Senbonsakura at 2AM because he thought someone had hit yo-" Renji laughed then stopped. "-Oh."
"You let my brother, the absolute last person you can expect to behave in a rational and restrained manner to any perceived threats to my person, go off to visit someone who just issued an order for my extermination? UNSUPERVISED?" She growled.
Renji stood, paralyzed in wide-eyed horror. "I. uh. I gotta go prevent some treason." he sputtered, before bolting from the room.
***** "I fucked up, I fucked up, I fucked uuuuuup-" Gin hissed under his breath as he ran through the maze of buildings that made up the central government's compound. "Sure Gin! Keep feeding him spiritual power Gin! It'll fix everything Gin! No way he's going to cause a massive inter-dimensional destabilization event Gin!"
He turned the corner to the central 46's liaison office, just to the side of the sealed gate, and sprinted for the small office at the base of the tower all Hell butterflies issued from, where the Gate's security guard and the Liaison worked.
"Hey guys sorry to burst in here but it's kind of an Emergen... cy." Gin shouted and then sputtered as something warm splashed underfoot. He looked down to find that the previously-beige carpet of the Liaison's office was now a deep and unpleasantly wet crimson. Behind him, there was a faint creak as the unsealed and unguarded gate swayed lightly in the breeze.
"Oh." Gin realized, wilting. "I'm in deep shit."
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bengiyo · 5 months
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Get to Know Me Tag :)
I was tagged by @telomeke and shaded by @lurkingshan.
do you make your bed?
Not usually, but I don't have a partner right now. I find that I'm actually really good at cleanliness when I have people in my space regularly. I am better about taking care of things when I'm doing them for the ease of others.
what's your favourite number?
14, but I couldn't tell you why. I think it has something to do with a girl named Ciara who I sat behind in elementary school.
what is your job?
I fix things for a government agency.
if you could go back to school, would you?
Probably. I didn't really know what I wanted to do when I went to college, and was far too much a mess at the time to study what I really should have. If I could do it and maintain my expenses, I'd retrain for my preferred profession.
can you parallel park?
Yes. I am the gay who drives.
a job you had that would surprise people?
I was paid for over two years to be really good at D&D.
do you think aliens are real?
So... I gotta be honest... I hate this question. This feels as loaded as the "Do you believe in God?" question. We are not aware of the existence of life on other planets, let alone sentient life. There is nothing for me to believe in. Do I hope that there are other intelligent beings out there? Yes. I think it would be really cool to engage in communication with a species that also crawled their way out of the muck and made it to space. I think there's much we could learn from each other about life and the universe itself. But belief is such a loaded term for me as a lapsed Catholic. I do not believe in aliens, but I hope that we'll get to meet some in the future.
can you drive a manual car?
Nope! Never needed to learn.
what's your guilty pleasure?
Hmm... Nothing really anymore?
tattoos?
Nah, I've always worked in the public sector in a way that hasn't made it an advisable choice, and I've rarely cared enough about something to mark my body with it.
favorite color?
Purple most of the time, but my wardrobe would say I'm in my green era.
favorite type of music?
I'm a soft rock 90s kid who embraced a lot of 2000s and later alternative. I've been on a huge synthwave kick lately. However, because I grew up in the 90s and remember the era of radio, I have a deep affection for Soul and R&B, classic rock, and pop.
do you like puzzles?
Yes? But not in a way that makes me yearn for them.
any phobias?
Probably falling, but that seems like a normal one for survival purposes.
favorite childhood sport?
Baseball! I was a shortstop.
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do you talk to yourself?
Not often. I don't actually have an internal monologue, so I don't need to talk to myself often to get through it.
what movies do you adore?
This is...so difficult. I'm just going to name a ton of films: Pooh's Grand Adventure: The Search for Christopher Robin, Pacific Rim, Ghost Dog, Master and Commander, The Man From Earth, The Sum of Us, Big Eden, Kill Bill 1 and 2, Knives Out, Muppet Treasure Island, Gattaca, C.R.A.Z.Y., Weekend, First Blood, Robocop, Starship Troopers, Drive My Car, Nine Days, Really Love, Set it Off, Make the Yuletide Gay, Shelter, Pig, Kiki's Delivery Service, The Digimon Movie, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, Star Wars IV and V, Isa Pa With Feelings, The Way He Looks... and probably many more.
coffee or tea?
Coffee. Tea does so little for me.
first thing you wanted to be growing up?
A train conductor or an astronaut! Trains are so cool, and space is the final frontier! We have to boldly go where no one has gone before!
I'll tag @shortpplfedup, @negrowhat, @chicademartinica, @so-much-yet-to-learn and @happypotato48
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lyss-butterscotch · 1 year
Note
Hi! Yes please. We want to know more about your hc about silly robo babies
A bunch of random tidbits about the skrimblos go! Not all are necessarily plot relevant just things I thought they'd vibe with and i don't feel like doodling rn
Looks to the Moon
Can chuck a spear with great precision
Is still trying to catch batflies with her bare hands (even the pups can do it and they're laughing at her!!!!!!)
When travelling with the scug colony she likes to help scout ahead to unknown areas
Takes alot of photos
She's more afraid of losing something in the water than the water itself
Cannot draw or write to save her life but can sing
Doesn't like darkness, gets antsy when travelling on moonless nights
Secretly on super high alert when she asks Pebbles to go on walks with her
Five Pebbles
One of those scary engineering kids that can draw straight lines and perfect circles traditionally
Sketches alot more and rarely colors
The one that helps Moon write poetry for Sliver
After canon, goes on expeditions to dig up more pearls and record old buildings, brings Suns along if the expedition site is too far on foot
Goes to his city to watch the sunset sometimes
'The dad and the cat he didn't want' energy
He does listen to Arti if she forces him to look away from his screens but pretends he hates it if someone is looking
Can't bring himself to look at Moon if she's struggling physically
No Significant Harassment
A fan of fidget toys, rubix cubes, puzzles, and tiny mechanisms
Definitely knits
His scarf is a little worn at the end from Hunter tugging at it alot but he never fixes it
Very interested in biology even if his branch is technological
Will literally wait for Moon's scug colony to pass by so he can go down and bury himself in cats
Seven Red Suns
Paints alot
Makes alot of knick knacks
Listen and talks alot with their citizens about their interests during the Ancients Era
They manually do species population control / culling in their territory
Extremely proficient with engineering purposed lifeforms
Cat parent, scugs love them, except for Arti, they gotta prove themselves lmao
Tunnel visions
Sometimes needs to be snapped out of the spooky mode, ya know that one yeah
Unparalleled Innocence
Only has a soft spot for her cats, her magnum opus
Will psychoanalyze anyone that talks to her
The 'I wonder what happens if-' kind of scientist
Has once cured herself of the rot
Almost never uses her security systems
Cannot fight physically
Gets off the string only to walk around in her can or city
Chasing Wind
Is also those scary engineering kids that can draw perfect lines and circles
Definitely a boomer but tries to be updated on current culture
The one that falls for deez nuts jokes
Will straight up chuck you out of his can if you dirty his robes
He likes diamonds but hoards other precious stones as well
Prefers not to get off the string
Sliver of Straw
Wanted to understand her people and why they wanted ascension
Is an empath
Her speech is heavily influenced by monks so she speaks with fancy grammar and metaphors
Unintentionally psychoanalyze people silently
Does nature watching when taking a break from work
Extremely professional when serving her religious duties, is a cinnamon roll when talking to other iterators
Sometimes Omen has to literally snap her out of serving as god
Wishful Omnipotence
Does scrying with the black glass ball on their staff
Really likes stars
Has dismantled 2 iterator cults
Thinks ascension is stupid but hearing Sliver talks about her people intrigues them
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rozcdust · 2 years
Text
I don’t speak to whores
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Pairing: Bonten x AroAce!GN!Reader, QPP Kazutora Hanemiya x AroAce!GN!Reader
Genre: Crack, fluff
Word count: 1.1k
Warnings: Canon divergent, profanity, ooc, whore behaviour, qpp relatinship, NO ROMANCE, just reader bullying Bonten, vomiting, drinking, taking care of a drunk person, reader has emotional capabilities of a carrot
masterlist
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Somehow, in the entirety of 2 minutes you were gone, leaving to change out of Kazutora’s oversized clothes into Kazutora’s oversized clothes, the situation escalated into having two, instead of only one, grown men sobbing on the floor of your bathroom, clutching onto each other like long lost brothers, as if they didn’t meet each other exactly 15 minutes ago.
You will absolutely make sure to send Mikey the babysitting fees for having to do this bullshit at all.
You have no idea who the he Kakucho is crying over is, but you’re pretty certain Kazutora is weeping over that one tiny incident where he may or may have not stabbed Keisuke as a mentally unstable, undiagnosed teenager.
Your platonic boyfriend is weeping over Keisuke, who Kazutora saw less than 12 hours ago, and who is, in fact, still very much alive.
May Lord help you cope.
Taking one of the bottles of sake Kazutora kept in the fridge, slamming the refrigerator doors shut, you take a long, deep sigh as you open the bottle, gulping down half of it right away.
You’ll need it for the shit show about to occur.
Cautiously poking Kazutora’s shoulder with a broom, you tilted your head, eyes darting between him and Kakucho.
“Need anything?” Whispering, you pointed towards Kakucho, carefully observing Kazutora’s tearful eyes for any indication of what the actual fuck to do.
Kazutora was easy to care for in his down moods, excelling in communication and making his needs known, so you could assume that he could be fixed with some light cuddling and plenty of kisses, maybe some soft bullying.
However, you doubted there was a manual on emotional support for depressed, emotionally constipated and violently drunk gang members.
“A hug.” Kazutora sniffed, pathetically, unwrapping one of his arms from Kakucho and extending it towards you, offering you space to slither in.
You had a hard time keeping the grimace off your face as you cautiously looked between the two men, thinking of an excuse on the spot.
“Um, sure thing Tora, just- Lemme check that our fish aren’t drowning.”
“He kept fish too!” Kakucho sobbed harder, gripping Kazutora’s shoulders like his only lifeline.
God.
“You don’t gotta hug us if you don’t wanna, baby, no worries.” Borderline whining, Kazutora’s arm slumped to the ground, his gaze moving away from you.
Fuck.
Kazutora had an excellent grasp of boundaries, and even if he knew you didn’t mind physical affection with him, he knew it was an issue for you with others, and he’d always politely ask before as much as kissing your cheek, never forcing anything on you even if he himself was touch starved as hell.
Yet the utter defeat in his voice made you feel just a little guilty.
Putting the broom down, you take a step towards them, sitting on the ground and getting into the space Kazutora opened for you, wrapping your arms around both men.
Okay, not too bad yet, you thought to yourself as they leaned each on one of your shoulders, letting go of each other to hold you instead, Kazutora’s arms firmly around your waist and Kakucho’s carefully thrown around your shoulders, his touch feather light compared to Kazutora’s death grip.
If they get snot on you, you will be taking legal action against them both.
“There, there, boys, no need to cry now, is there? Momma didn’t raise a bitch.”
Wrong words, y/n.
Wrong fucking words.
“My mum died!” Kakucho choked out, suddenly tightening his grip as he buried his face into your shoulder, clearly barely choking down the loud sobs rocking his body.
“Mine hated me!” Kazutora yelped against your neck, snivelling, balling his hands into fists as he gripped the fabric of your - well, his - shirt.
Handling crying people is fucking hard, how is Baji so good at this? You’ve seen Kazutora and Chifuyu have a meltdown on him often enough to be mad at the way he made it look so easy to calm them down.
You comforted yourself by considering the fact that perhaps Baji, despite having the smarts of a first grader, simply had more emotional intelligence than you’d ever truly need or want.
You wished he could airdrop you some now, though.
Racking your brain to remember what Baji did when Chifuyu or Kazutora started getting snot and tears on his shirt and sobbing so loud that you couldn’t think, all you came up with is that he’d stroke their hair and call them pet names.
Aight, doing that now. Treating an ex-con and a wanted criminal like cats. Fully reasonable. That’s a fully normal Thursday.
“Hey, hey. It’s okay, get it out, crying is healthy…” Awkwardly getting your arms out of Kakucho’s and Kazutora’s iron grip, you manage to gently set them on their head, raking through their hair.
Your back ached.
You should move them to the couch, maybe they’ll calm down and you can slink away, sell them a lie you’ll go buy milk and just never come back.
No, Kazutora would see through that.
Hm.
“Hey, guys, let’s move to the bed? Sleep will help you, I’m sure.”
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Kakucho’s legs refused to work, but Kazutora was capable enough to help you drag him to your shared bed, before both of the men immediately fell on the bed and kept crying.
Won’t this cause dehydration? Do they need more water? Perhaps more vodka? Would knocking Kakucho out and dealing with Kazutora only be ethical?
Probably not, Kazutora may disown you if you did that, he was always the more moral one in the relationship.
Luckily, shoving a plushie into Kakucho’s hands seemed to occupy him enough so his sobs calmed into whimpers instead. It was a rather small, blue cat, with a bowtie and a tiny suit, a gift Kazutora bought you to cheer you up after a bad day, but you suspected that was merely an excuse so he had a reason to add one more plush toy to his, frankly, absurd collection.
“There, she’s nice and fluffy, isn’t she?”
Kakucho merely nodded, hiding his face in the plushie.
Kazutora was laying next to him, calming down slowly and steadily, but his hands still shook, the only difference was that the tears streaming down his face were silent.
“Hey, Tora, want me to spoon you? You can be the little spoon.” Whispering, you move a strand of bleached hair to look at his face better, craning your head to press a kiss to his cheek.
Kazutora nodded, rather shyly, as if he didn’t spend most nights falling asleep halfway on you.
He curled up into you as soon as your arms locked around his waist, rubbing soothing circles into the skin of his sides, trying to make himself smaller.
He always did that when he was upset, seemingly wishing to become invisible, a habit stemming all the way from his childhood, and you truly considered hunting down his father and throttling him.
For now, though, you just wait for Kakucho and Kazutora to fall asleep.
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. . . next
🔖Taglist (open):
@dilf-city @wakasa-wifey @rinsie @kisekihany @bajifairyy @cryszus @r-xochitl @levistiddies @graythecoffeebean @mukounisuru-gashadokuro @sunahyejin @yamaguccitadashi @minoozi @trashmemebitch @frogtits1 @sup-zfam @whydohumansss @xashiui @bontens-whore @nqctre @lumi-does-some-stuff @hana-patata @hxked @erza-uzumaki @sh4nn @sisnot @nahoyas-nymph @one-green-frog @justrandomlypassing @kio-kookie @haikyuu-simps-assemble @ayhashi @tiredlattes @crown5 @medusalovessnakes @bblyerim @ohnoyouareasimp @sakinotfound @syddisheep @barcelona-sergei @solliver05 @vanillaashakee @gumiwaka @withlovetengen @naorizenin @bontensbabygirl @anahryal @luvjiro
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auberylis · 1 year
Text
MyArtGallery 20230623 BIG UPDATE!
Hi everyone! I made a cool big update to MyAG - a free, fast-rollout gallery package for your personal neocities.org website. It is aimed at artists who value and curate their online presence and want their art to exist for more than while it's on someone's dashboard. MyAG is my contribution to the decorporativisation of the online space. And today, i made it a whole ton more usable, too - managing your online art gallery is almost as easy as tumblr now!
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Meet the brand-new editor page! Before this, it used to be a neverending stream of html forms with crap layout.. now, it's almost state-of-the art web app shit! Essentially, it takes the form of what you see when you access your actual art gallery as a visitor, but with simplified design and neutral colours, and managing tools. To edit your artworks or groups - simply click on them and select "edit" in the popup menu! A nice lil' window appears, and you can change everything about your artwork or group in it. Adding new stuff is as easy as pressing "Add new..." and filling out a couple fields, too!
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But wait.. there's more! Not only can you now delete your stuff easily (yeah, there were troubles with that) - but also, i implemented moving stuff around in a turbo-simple way! Click "move" and hover over any of the insert markers that pop up, click - and the artwork (or the group button) is moved to the desired location.
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Pretty cool, huh? Sure is, and also sure as hell feels nice to have over 1K lines of code working neatly together for the sake of art without companies! I hope someone goes ahead and cooperates with me by running this at their neocities page and reporting any issues that emerge. Want to see it live? Here's a fresh stock deployment left untouched. And my own kandi museum runs on MyAG, too!
Grab MyAG and read the manual/tutorial at project's github page! Use this shit dammit!
If you want to contact me, DM here or use one of these!
Smaller updates:
Added a settings file checker. Since some keys will be coming and some will be going, the settingsChecker.html tool-page will check your current settings.js file for missing and deprecated setting keys, and point you to a quick-fix example!
Since i finally sorted out the XML entry order, some users may end up with their gallery groups or artworks displaying backwards after they update... i added "macro tools" to the gallery editor page, and the two available tools are to reverse all images and reverse all groups. If you run into such problem while updating, simply use the needed macro tool.
Figured out a bunch of small CSS bugs - stuff is laid out a bit neater now. Pretty sure there's more to come.. *cdi mario voice* and you've gotta help us!
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hazelhearts · 2 years
Text
You're Perfect
Niall Horan x Fem!reader
summary: when insecurities get in the way, your boyfriend is always there to make you feel like the most important person in the world
content/warnings: mentions of insecurities
word count: 609
note/request: "Could I get a Niall Horan x reader where she is sensitive but offensive about how she looks. Niall shows her he doesn't mind any look even if it looks messy or weight sensitive. Maybe he could like show her how beautiful he thinks she is. Reader would be female, light skin, brown hair, brown eyes. They could be long time friends that turn into a relationship" - anon
I stuck as closely to your request as I could without getting to specific about the readers appearance so everyone could insert themselves. I also kind of was at a loss for how to extend this since I struggle writing hurt/comfort but I hope you love it!
masterlist
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Standing in front of the mirror crying was a very common thing for you. Your insecurities had always been a very big part of your life. They held you back from doing a lot of things. Currently, they were preventing you being able to leave the house.
Niall had a reservation set up for the two of you at one of your favorite restaurants to celebrate your anniversary. When he told you about it this morning, you already decided what you were going to wear.
You had impulsively bought a dress a few weeks back that you didn't really have any purpose for. You loved the way it looked on the model. It accentuated every curve perfectly and highlighted every breathtaking feature she had. But when you wore it, it did the opposite.
"Babe? You almost ready? We've gotta-" Niall's voice cut off as soon as he saw you. He slowly raked his eyes up and down your figure, his eyes darkening the longer he stared.
Your eyes immediately started watering as every thought he must be having began running through your mind. Every negative thought you had ever had about yourself sprang to the surface. Every negative emotion you've ever felt clouded your mind.
"I'm sorry, I'll change. I really thought this dress was perfect and it was but I ruined it and-" Niall pulled you into his arms suddenly, guiding your head to rest in the crook of his shoulder.
"Baby, you look amazing. You always do." You never knew that two sentences could push you over the edge, but they sure as hell did as violent sobs began wracking through your body.
Niall slowly led you over to the bed, sitting you on his lap as you continued crying. He repeated over and over how perfect you are as he rubbed soothing circles on your back.
As your sobs slowly began to die down, you raised your head just enough to look into Niall's eyes. You took the moment to study his features. Everything from his perfectly-styled hair that is usually sloppy to his gorgeous blue eyes with the faintest bit of green was engraved into your mind, a constant reminder of just how perfect he was.
"Hi." You carefully wiped your eyes, hoping to save whatever makeup was still on your face.
"Hi petal. D'ya feel any better?" You nodded, cuddling back into the crook of his neck.
"Alright then, let's get ya cozy hm?" He moved his hand towards the back of the dress, slowly starting to unzip the zipper. Your hand flew back as soon as you comprehended what was happening, pulling his hand back between the two of you.
"Ni, what're you doing? We gotta get going." He shook his head, hair flopping wildly around after he had spent so much time fixing it.
"Nope. We're gonna stay right 'ere, in this bed, cuddlin all night long." His head moved down to your chest, leaving kisses across the open skin.
"But what about the reservation?" A small pout made its way onto your face, quickly followed by Niall's thumbs smoothing out the creases and manually lifting your lips up into a smile.
"Screw the damn reservation. I'd rather be cuddled up with m'girl any day." His hand traveled back to the zipper, you no longer fighting it.
When you both finally changed into more comfortable clothes, you cuddled up in bed and turned on one of your favorite movies. Your laughs echoed all throughout the room, redirecting Niall's focus to you every time. Honestly, he would much rather watch you watch the movie than actually watch it himself. You're just so pretty.
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jungle-angel · 7 months
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The One Where They Go To Florida: Part 5 (Frat!Rhett x Reader)
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Summary: There are just some things you never wanna do with a grapefruit......or do you??
Warnings: References to smut, obscene acts with a grapefruit etc.
Tagging: @callmemana @floydsmuse @attapullman
Rhett stumbled down the stairs of the beach house, hungover as hell as the bright Florida sunshine spilled through the windows. The first rager of spring break was already over but that didn't mean the hangovers weren't.
He stumbled into the kitchen to find you, Cairo and a few of the girls making your famous hangover breakfasts, the heady aroma of Dunkin Donuts coffee filling the kitchen along with bacon, eggs, sausages, cheese, pancakes and toast.
"Mornin cowboy," you chirped, handing him a fresh coffee.
"Mornin baby," Rhett croaked, kissing your cheek. "Any of them other idiots comin down?"
"Foster was the only one up, he's out fixing Kelso's little mailbox fiasco," Cairo told him, plating a pair of freshly made sunny-side-up eggs.
"Who grilled the steaks?"
"Sammy did," you answered. "Guy's a natural. He said he learned it from watchin his grandpa work the hibachi in his restaurant."
Cairo turned up the volume just a little, mumbling along to Shania Twain's "Man, I feel like a woman" as you cooked away in the kitchen. Pretty soon more of the idiots came stumbling out of their hiding places to come and eat.
"I've gotta close the screen and it's gon' sound like a gunshot," Bo announced.
"C'mon man not so loud," Woody Williamson told him, burying his face in his hands once Bo shut the door.
"I made Bloody Marys ya'll!" Cairo happily announced.
"You kiddin?" Harry Reagan said to him, his full Boston starting to show as he pushed his floppy blonde hair out of his face. "I've got an ungodly hangovuh and the last thing I wanna do is fuckin drink."
"Oh please, Harry," Cairo retorted. "My Nan used to make these all the time when my family would party. So drink up honeys, ya'll are gonna need it."
Everybody dug into their breakfasts, letting it soak up all the alcohol from the night before. Yet poor Oliver Scott seemed to have been the only one who hadn't had any real or exciting escapades to tell from the night before.
"Olivuh I'm shore it's not a big deal," Harry told him with a mouthful of half-chewed toast. "Everybody's first time sucks."
"Yeah man I didn't make it with a girl till I was a sophomore," Woody told him.
"I don't get it though," Oliver mused. "I don't know if it was just me or the booze but I just couldn't do it."
"Maybe she wasn't as much of a babe in the sack as ya'll thought she was," Rhett theorized.
"Maybe she was a prude," Sammy Inoue thought out loud as he buttered his toast with the runny egg yolk.
"I dunno," Oliver sighed. "Maybe I missed something in the sex manual."
"Did you study the chapter on Grapefruiting?" Cairo asked, seating himself next to Foster with a mimosa in his hand.
The table was dead silent, everyone scrunching their eyebrows together as they turned to Cairo. "Pahdon my ignorance, but what in the fuck is grapefruiting?" Harry asked him.
"Oh my gosh you don't know?" Cairo questioned, his jaw dropping with bemusement. "Oooh ok, lemme give ya'll a little sex ed lesson. Everybody pay attention because this will be on the test later, yes? Ok."
Everyone, yourself included listened with intent as Cairo took a grapefruit and a banana from the center of the table and the knife near his plate.
"Ok so what you do," he explained, cutting the ends off the grapefruit. "Is you take the grapefruit, cut off the ends like so.......and then, you fit it around the penis so that it's comfortable. Make sure you're hard, not limp, obviously....."
Everyone was trying with all their willpower not to laugh, hiding their mouths behind their hands or biting their lips as Cairo began fitting the grapefruit around the banana.
"Just as a word of warning though," he continued. "Be really, really careful because there is a chance you could get the juice in the urethra and believe me, it's like peeing fire. So anywho.......once comfortably fitted, your partner can start goin to town on it, like so....."
Jaws hit the floor as soon as Cairo began going to town on it. Sure many of the boys had seen very well done oral sex acts, but nothing compared to seeing it from Cairo himself.
"You also wanna push your partner's head in just a little," Cairo explained once he quickly released the banana from his mouth. "If they make some coughing and gagging noises, it means you're doing something right....."
He kept at it, the other Delta Taus and their girls trying to keep straight faces and failing miserably. Finally, Cairo was done, much to their relief.
"Now remember guys," he informed them. "You never......NEVER......wanna try this with a pineapple."
A few of the guys busted out laughing but Cairo was more than pleased with himself.
"How much ya'll wanna bet that Kelso fucks this up later?" Rhett asked Kayce.
"I'm not bettin anything bro," Kayce chuckled. "I had to spend my last twenty bucks at the corner store getting a keg the other day."
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