#that people will assume the best of his mistakes because he must not have known what the better decision was

[worstloki]

Do you think Thor ever gets tired of the himbo jokes? People always valuing his physical strength like he’s got nothing else to offer but good cheer and a strong swing

[captainreecejames]

Pick Me Up?

Charles Leclerc imagine

summary : the four times Charles picks you up and the one time you pick him up.

pairing : Charles leclerc x fem!reader

I believe there is no mention of YN, but I'm not 100% sure.

word count : 3.5 k

warnings : none that I can think of

note : I only read over this once so if there's spelling errors or other mistakes that's what happened. Next up should either be Logan Sargeant my ex is a footballer or the social media accompanying fic. Anyways, enjoy and me if you like it!!

1. Charles picks you up from a bad date

The date had started fine.

Actually more than fine. He showed up on time, was pleasant to the waitress, and had good manners. Really, he would have even gotten a second date, if he hadn’t brought up Formula 1.

It’s a topic you tend to avoid when meeting new people, as they either tend to know a lot already and want to use you to get to Charles or they don’t know anything and assume that you are using Charles, when they know nothing about your relationship. It was a hassle you learned to shut down before it even began.

But back at the date with Vince, he had brought it up and that’s when things started to go down hill. 

Despite your best efforts, when people brought up Formula 1, you grew taller and more focused on the conversation, it’s like a switch flipped. While Charles driving for the best known team certainly helped your interest, everything about the sport was fascinating for you and you couldn’t help but geek out when the topic came up. 

Vince noticed your reaction and his casual demeanor turned critical. “You only know about it because you think the drivers are hot.” That had made your smile drop instantly, brows furrowing as you tried to respond. “Probably can’t even name all the teams.” He thinks that stumps you, but you’ve dealt with enough shitty men in this sport, you’re not taking anything more from this wanna-be investor.

“I don’t have to prove my knowledge of F1 to you,” you state, deciding that this dinner is now over.

“Oh, now I know you can’t even name five drivers.” Your frown deepens, picking up your napkin and placing it on the table next to your plate. It had gone down hill so fast, how disappointing.

“Your attempt at insulting me into submission is falling flat.” His eyes are wide at your comment, and he must not have expected you realize his move. You flag the waitress over and she walks quickly back to your table, noticing how you’re not smiling anymore. Seems like this date is a bust, so another twenty note must be added to the jar of bets amongst the staff of this restaurant.

(You and Charles visit the place often as it was the sight of your first job, but also the food and people were lovely, and bringing a first date here was the safest option.)

(So they all knew you and were betting on when the dam breaks and you two admit your feelings for each other.)

You hand Lucille enough money to cover both yours and Vince’s meals, not bothering with the change. Your goal now is to get as far away from Vince as soon as possible. He  opens his mouth to say something again, but you are already out of your seat and walking towards the front door, phone calling Charles to pick you up.

He answers on the first ring, always on alert when you go on dates.

(Not because he’s jealous or anything, but because he’s worried about you and needs to make sure that you stay safe. He’s been tempted to bribe the staff of your little restaurant for information during dates after a particularly bad one, but his mom talked him out of it.)

“Ma cherie, is everything alright?” You roll your eyes at his question, just knowing that there’s a smirk on his face right now. He didn’t have a great feeling about Vince, but he wouldn’t say I told you so.

“Can you pick me up please?” You barely need to finish your question before he answers with an ‘of course, I’m already on my way.’

“Need me to stay on the phone?” You glance back at the restaurant, looking in the window to find Vince scrolling away on his phone, oblivious to the movement around him.

“No, focus on the streets. I’ll be fine.” Charles hums his answer and hangs up, leaving you to look busy on the streets of Monte Carlo.

He pulls up not even two minutes later, stopping the car haphazardly in a tow-away zone. You rush to the side, opening the door and shimmying in as fast as you can because even though this is Charles Leclerc’s very recognizable Pista, you don’t want to risk any tickets. While he pulls away you realize how fast he showed up and a question forms on your lips, but he speaks before you have the chance to ask.

“I was only down the road at the marina.” He seems sheepish, like the answer is rehearsed, but you don’t push it because you’re still grateful that he showed up. What would you do without him to pick up after a bad date?

2. Charles picks you cause your car breaks down

This time when you call him should feel less embarrassing than other times, but really it only feels worse. How are you going to admit to him that the car you’ve been saving up for and desperately wanting since you were 7 just crapped out on you before you could even get out of the parking garage? Especially when he advised you against such car. It would be humiliating. 

Alas, you made the call, practicing in your mind what you would say to him. 

Again, he picks up on the first ring, though this time you’re not sure as to why he answered so fast.

“Is everything alright, ma cherie?” You blush, grateful he can’t see your face.

“I’m stuck,” you exhale, ready to face what ever he has in store for you.

“Stuck?”

“My car won’t start and I’m still at work, everyone else has left and I’m in need of a ride.”

“Okay,” he answers, relief filling you. “I’m leaving the gym with Andrea, I should be there in 15 minutes. Don’t talk to any strangers.”

“Love you too, Charles.” You roll your eyes, hanging up on him and sitting in the drivers seat of your beloved, but broken, car. That’s some good money about to go down the drain for the tow and mechanic fees. As you debate calling your dad to help you out with diagnosing what’s wrong with the car, a familiar rumble enters the garage, and you see the ever famous Pista pulling up next to you, a smirking Charles in the driver’s seat.

“Someone call for a pick up?” You want to roll your eyes at him, but the smile on his face makes the irritation melt away. After a long day at work, made even longer because your stupid car that you really wanted wouldn’t start, all you feel is relief and affection for the man in front of you, and it’s a little too overwhelming.

Tears pool in your eyes and Charles frowns, cutting the engine and climbing out so he can hug you. He only admits it to his mother, but holding you is just as good a driving when he’s driving on the track with a car that responds to his every command.

(And what he won’t admit to anyone is that if holding you feels like that, then kissing you must feel like he’s just won a world championship.)

“Ma cherie,” he whispers, pulling your body into his own and stroking your hair to soothe you. He doesn’t ask any questions, which you’re grateful for, you don’t actually know what’s wrong other than everything is just too much and him showing up makes you feel safe enough to let it all out.

When you’ve finally slowed your breathing and made yourself relax he pulls away, looking at you with so much love in his eyes that you’re not sure if you’re dreaming. “Now you know what it felt like to drive under Binnotto.”

The comment is a shock and it makes you snort, which is what Charles was going for. Your laugh that he thinks could make him smile even in the darkest moods. “You can’t say that Mr. Ferrari.” You smack his chest while shaking your head, but the rueful smile on your face tells him that you still haven’t gotten over the team principle screwing him over.

Then the smile eases into something much more natural, and he knows the tense moment has passed. “Takeout?” he suggests, ushering you to the passenger side of his car. You nod at him and he’s pretty sure that he would do anything to make you smile.

3. Charles picks you up for a spontaneous lunch date

The next day it’s he who calls you, but you still an answer on the first ring.

(You’ve dedicated a Måneskin song as his ringtone so you always know when he’s calling)

(He made your ringtone a Mika song after you dragged him to a concert)

“Charles,” you answer, confusion in your tone.

“Ma cherie!” he sounds excited and you can’t help but want to follow him anywhere he goes when he sounds like that.

“Is everything alright?” You ask it this time, because shouldn’t he be packing for a race now?

“I’m outside, we’re going to spend the day on the water.” After leaving your home last night, Charles decided that you needed a pick me up, and what better way but to spend a few hours lounging around on his yacht, soaking up the sun and enjoying each other’s company.

(No one else would be there, but this wasn’t a date.)

(Seriously Arthur, it wasn’t a date.)

You spare a glance around your room, laundry begging to be done and dishes waiting to be washed. Yeah, you could use a day away from chores.

“Let me grab a bag,” you tell him, already throwing more clothes around the room in search of your favorite bathing suit. He hums through the speaker and you put your phone down to keep searching for the bathing suit. It was your favorite red crossover one piece and you be damned if you didn’t wear it today, anything to manifest a Ferrari win.

When you finally manage to find it, in the pile of clean but not put away laundry, you pick your phone back up and tell Charles you’ll be right down.

In two minutes you’re out the door of apartment, eyes landing on Charles leaning against his car. He looks so handsome with the windswept hair and Ray-bans on, you really have to wonder why he’s spending the afternoon with you and not some model he met in a garage.

(He’d say it’s because it’s the weekend before a race and this is a tradition, spending the afternoon with you before he leaves is the only way to ward off bad luck.)

(Seriously, before the Netherlands race last year you'd been unable to make it because of a bad cold and he had to retire the car that race, so safe to say you were forced to the boat, or his apartment, or he came over before the plane every time after that.)

Maybe the question is what would he do without you?

4. Charles picks you up from a girl’s night

This time Charles doesn’t pick up on the first ring, in fact, he barely makes it to the phone in time to answer. That’s because it’s not you who is calling, but rather a friend.

You and few girl friends had decided on a girls night out for one of them going through a bad break up, but after a few pregame shots and then drinks at this club, you were pretty intoxicated.

Looking for your group after coming back from the bathroom and the bar, you had spotted Lando and Max across the room, which made you think about Charles.

(Not that he ever really left your mind.)

And when you think about Charles, you wonder where he is, so you went to your friends. Both their faces lit up when they saw you, indicating that they were also not sober. After a quick hug for both of them you turn to survey the rest of the bar, looking for your Monagasque. 

“He’s not here!” shouts Max, trying to be heard over the noise. Your shoulders drop, turning back to the two racers with a pout on your lips.

“Where is he?” you ask, trying to seem nonchalant, but drunk you can’t hide her feelings as easily as sober you.

(Many would argue that sober you can’t hide her feelings easily either, but all that matters is that Charles doesn’t find out. And since he’s too occupied in hiding his also obvious feelings, you’re both oblivious to the other’s pining.)

Lando says that Charles stayed at home, something about playing the piano and having an early night was more tempting than drinks. The real reason being that if Charles went out he would not have been able to stop thinking about you and your potential suitors, which would lead to him drinking to forget. He was not up for another heartbreak hangover.

Your eyes light up at the mention of Charles playing the piano, sitting down in the booth with them. “Oh! I bet it’s going to sound wonderful!” Both drivers roll their eyes, and to their disappointment, you’re not drunk enough to miss it. “You don’t like his music?” The accusation in your tone makes them readjust their face. It’s not that they don’t like his compositions, it’s just that when Charles explains them, it’s almost always about how you looked on a certain day and he just was so inspired he had to put something down. They’re really tired of the back and forth between you too.

You begin your speech on how talented Charles is at the piano, which then morphs into how talented he is as a driver, and then as a person. It all turns into a ramble about how proud you are of him, something they’ve all heard before.

When you’ve somehow made it to Leo and how Charles chose the perfect puppy, the man himself shows up.

“Ma cherie,” he interjects, placing a hand on your shoulder to get your attention. You turn towards him, and Max swears that there should be cartoon hearts in your eyes.

“Charles!” you yell, wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug. “What are you doing here?” You’re slightly too loud for being in his arms, but he doesn’t care if you yell his ear off, it’s still you.

“Max said you were ready to come home.” Your brows furrow at that, because you don’t remember ever saying that, or even Max disappearing to call Charles, but you can’t be mad at him showing up.

“One more drink?” you ask, eyes pleading with him. Charles shakes his head, he can feel how much he’s supporting your weight even while sitting and knows that any more alcohol will likely end with you tripping over yourself.

“Water,” he answers and you’ve agreed to the words coming out of his mouth because it’s Charles, and he’ll never steer you wrong.

Charles heads to the bar to grab a water, running into your group of friends there. He tells them your status and that’ll he’ll be taking you home after this drink. They all nod along, most of them predicting that the night would end like this: Charles showing up and driving you home.

When it’s finally time to leave and Charles has ushered you out of the packed club into his Pista, you remember that you came here with a completely different group. “The girls!”

“Don’t worry, ma cherie, I saw them before we left and told them I’d take you home.” The gentle smile on his face is enough to put one on yours. Where would you be without him, indeed.

+ 1. You pick Charles up from the airport

You’ve got a new car now, thanks to Charles, and since he needs to be picked up from the airport, you’ve decided to take it for a nice spin. The roads are relatively clear for the drive, and you’re there in the usual 30 minutes. That makes you early for Charles, but you take the time to work out what you’re going to say to him.

Before you get out of the car you text him your location, so that he can head right out and find you, rather than you going into the terminal to look for him. He always was better at finding you.

The last night out had not only ended with Charles taking you home, but with a revelation. You couldn’t keep living like this. Loving him so much and not telling him was suffocating. It made you feel like you were on the edge of a cliff with nothing to keep you safe, and you were tired of it. So the question was, how did you tell him.

“Charles, I’ve been in love with you for ages,” you said, but shook your head. That didn’t sound right.

“Charles, I have to tell you something really important. I think I’m in love with you.” No, you shook your head again and groaned. “I don’t think I’m in love with him, I know I am.”

“Charles, you’re the most important person in my life, I don’t know what I’d do with out you.” Okay, solid start, you might have something with that.

“Charles light of my life.” No. “That’s too cheesy.”

“God, I wish I could put into words how much you mean to me. I love you so much I don’t know what to do with myself most of the time. It’s like I need to feel you to be able to breathe properly. All I really ever need is for you to look and smile at me and I’ll know that everything will be alright. I can get through anything with you there. If you love someone else it would break my heart, but knowing that you’re happy is all I need to be okay. I’d live with the thought of you loving someone else, because if they made you as happy and good as I feel, then there’s nothing more I could ask for.” Yeah, that sounded-

“Well it’s a good thing I love you too.”

You screamed, turning around to see Charles behind you in all his glory. Black sweatshirt and baggy jeans, hair messy like he ran his hand through it multiple times.

“How long have you been there?” you asked, face turning red enough to rival Ferrari.

“At Charles, light of my life.” He shrugged, like you hadn’t just bared your soul out to him. “Though, I disagree, it’s not too cheesy.” Could you get any redder? Feels like this is as red as a human being could get before self-combusting.

He’s just standing there, with a dopey smile on his face that you want to kiss, but you can’t. Something is holding you to the spot. You force yourself to say something. “Can you say something else?”

“Like what?”

“Anything else, I feel like I’m going to explode if you don’t say something.”

“Thanks for coming to pick me up.” He adds a shrug to the end and you narrow your eyes.

“That’s not what I meant, and you know it.”

“Oh, you want me to say that I love you too.”

“I don’t want you to say it if you don’t mean it.” If you were a kid you’d add a stomp to the end, as if you were throwing a temper tantrum. He furrows his brow like he’s confused and still you want to kiss him senseless.

“Well, I mean it.”

Now you’re the one confused. “What?”

“I love you too, and I don’t think I’d be okay if you loved someone else as much as I love you. Because I’m selfish and a terrible man and I want you all to myself.” He shakes his head. “I need you all to myself,” he corrects. “You’re the love of my life and if I wasn’t yours then I don’t think I could go on. But you said you do love me, so everything is so much easier now.” Each sentence is punctuated with a step closer, until he’s just a few inches from you, like he needs you to take the last step. You do, without hesitation, because you really would do anything for him.

Eyes glancing at his lips and back, you catch him doing the same thing. “I love you more than anything in this world. I’d give up racing if you asked, I do anything for you.”

Another glance at his lips. “I’d never ask that of you, Charles. But, I love you too, and I’d do anything for you.” His smile at those words would normally catch you off guard, like you’d stop breathing at it, but somehow it just makes everything easier right now. So you kiss him.

Leaning forward those last few inches to grab his shoulders and pull him down so you can kiss him with as much love as you can muster. If words can’t explain how much you love him then maybe kissing him will convey it. That you love him more than words, actions and thoughts can combine. You love him.

(And he loves you.)

[vintagetvstars]

Rod Serling Vs. Raymond Burr

Propaganda

Rod Serling - (The Twilight Zone) - Imagine, if you will, a man taking on issues of totalitarianism and censorship in Cold War America...

Raymond Burr - (Perry Mason, Ironside) - "He's arguably best known for film roles... but you have got to see him as Perry Mason. Defense attorney constantly dropped into "easy win for the prosecution" cases and flips them upside down. Maybe not exactly conventionally handsome, but rugged. He has this private little smile when he's about to grab a loophole or mistake the prosecution or a witness has just left for him that I find very endearing..." Full text propaganda included below the cut

- No Negative Propaganda Please -

Master Poll List | How to submit propaganda | What is vintage? (FAQ)

Additional propaganda below the cut

Rod Serling:

"The writer’s role is to menace the public’s conscience. He must have a position, a point of view. He must see the arts as a vehicle of social criticism and he must focus on the issues of his time." -Rod Serling

Raymond Burr:

He's arguably best known for film roles... but you have got to see him as Perry Mason. Defense attorney constantly dropped into "easy win for the prosecution" cases and flips them upside down. Maybe not exactly conventionally handsome, but rugged. He has this private little smile when he's about to grab a loophole or mistake the prosecution or a witness has just left for him that I find very endearing. (I haven't seen any of Ironside so I can't speak on his performance there, but I think it's necessary to include in the submission because while he wasn't actually a wheelchair user in real life, it was the first ever crime show with a disabled main character and I genuinely can't think of another show like that with a *title* character using a wheelchair, particularly of the 60s and 70s.)

This guy had a million hobbies including orchid cultivation, stamp collecting, winemaking, raising cattle and sheep, and founded an association that created a dictionary of the Fijian language. He was a big animal guy and had - from what I've been able to tell - at least a couple dogs (he's noted as one of the first people to import Portuguese Water Dogs to North America), some cats, and a duck. He gave insane amounts of money to charities and was recorded as having sponsored at least 26 foster children with medical needs. He spoke openly about lifelong struggles with weight & image (and about the difficulty of finding acting work when you don't fit the studio hottie build, they made him lose 60+ pounds before they would cast him as Mason despite outperforming their other option in court scenes) and rejected every offer to do a particular popular talk show after the host had started making multiple unprompted jokes about him and his weight. He created numerous inconsistencies in his own life story that, after his death & revelation of a 30+ year relationship with a man he had met during the filming of Perry Mason, have been assumed by both press and people that knew him as intentional exaggeration to keep suspicion of homosexuality low. Absolutely fascinating guy to me, every new fact I learn about him boggles.

[crusty-chronicles]

Airheaded S/O Headcannons #5 Kakashi (Naruto)

He had known about you since he was a child.

And at that time he absolutely hated you

How could someone so careless and utterly dimwitted be a shinobi?

You were constantly fumbling missions

You were never on time (actually getting lost on the way there)

And you could never take hints

It was a miracle you never died.

But as he grew older and everything with the 3rd Shinobi War, he sort of forgot about you.

He wouldn't run into you again until after he started teaching Team 7.

Naruto had pointed out a new squad's unusual training methods.

"Look at those weirdos! They're balancing an egg on their finger! And I thought you were weird Kakashi-Sensei. Ha! Their teacher must be insane!"

The boy wasn't wrong, it was odd, but that's more of a thought he should've kept to himself.

Especially since the squad heard him

One of them lost focus and dropped their egg.

The other gave up in favor of chewing Naruto out.

And the last kept their cool.

It was complete chaos.

"How dare you insult our sensei! I'll have you know they're one of the strongest Shinobi the Leaf has!"

"Yeah right! If they're so great why haven't I heard of them!?!"

"I haven't even told you their name yet you loudmouth!"

Kakashi was about the intervene, (trying not to cause a bigger scene) when the boy arguing with Naruto was hoisted up by a familiar figure.

"Ryuuuu~You know better than to pick a fight."

The boy lost all the fight in him and hung his head in shame.

"I know, but he was disrespecting your training."

And then Kakashi saw you in full.

That dimwitted kid he assumed would become nothing, was right in front of him.

You'd become a teacher and a Jonin.

And you still had that overly dopey look.

"Then you'll just have to prove him wrong, won't you?"

And it seems you actually matured.

He decided now would be the best time to re-indroduce himself.

He was curious to know just how the hell you got where you were.

"Y/n, long time no see."

And you gave him the blankest stare he's ever received in his life.

He felt a little self-conscious then because what if you had held a grudge for the way he treated you as a kid.

"I'm sorry??? Who are you???"

You didn't remember him??????

"Kakashi. We were acquaintances when we were kids. You were in Gai's squad right?"

Usually when people heard his name, it was immediate recognition.

But you continued to give him a blank stare for another two minutes before the dots finally connected.

"Oh...Ohhhhhh!"

Thanks goodness

"You're Gai's rival! The one he could never beat! How cool I get to meet you in the flesh!"

Kakashi was distraught because not only did you not remember him, but you only recalled him from Gai's stories.

But maybe it was a good thing you didn't remember him.

He could start fresh

And it would be nice to have someone to talk to that didn't constantly challenge him.

So he keeps finding ways to bump into you, just to take a peak inside that mind of yours

Realizes that no, you haven't outgrown your stupidity.

And it's not an act like his carefree facade

You still trip over nothing

You still have trouble deciphering secret documents

And you still can't find your way to meeting areas.

But unlike Kakashi's 'An old lady needed help' excuse, you just right out and say you got lost

And it catches him off guard everytime.

Your students adore you and after teaming up with your squad, he understands why

Whenever Naruto and Sasuke fight, he let's them sort it out themselves.

When your students fight, you make them perform such an outrageous act, that they forget what they're arguing about.

Instead of trying to one up each other over the smallest of mistakes, they actually work together because 'the faster we finish the mission, the more time we'll have to pick out a place to celebrate.'

But the one thing he still doesn't understand is how you became a Jonin.

Sure you were a great teacher, but you were still incredibly careless.

And then he finally sees your monster strength after the two of you had been ambushed on mission.

He didn't even have time to awaken his sharingan before you launched into action

There was no special jutusu's, no chakra based attacks, and no Kekkei genkai.

Just you downing enemy after enemy with Taijutsu

And he was so surprised, because you, the knuckle head idiot who even Obito could outsmart, had defeated about 30 Shinobi in less than 5 minutes

He understands clearly now how you got as far as you did

And it makes him feel a little guilty inside for the way he judged you

He seeks you out more frequently from then on, wanting to see what else you've been holding back.

But then he starts to notice the little things about you

Like how your socks are always mismatching

How when you can't read an important document, you have a student of yours read it out for you. (Those are secret for a reason dummy)

Or how whenever you see him, your eyes seem to light up a little more.

And goddamnit he's got a crush

He won't tell you for a long time

But there will be hints

He'll hold your hand in crowds because he's worried you'll wander off and get swept away

He'll request more missions with you even if it's a one man job

He'll take off his mask around you, knowing you won't make a big deal.

He'll be even later to meeting spots because he knows you got lost on the way and he wants to be the one to lead you there.

He doesn't tell you about his feelings for the longest time because he doesn't think he could take it if something happened to you.

If he let you into his life just to be taken away like everyone else.

But time and time again you prove your strength to him

And little by little his walls break down.

He's a sucker for romance as proven by his taste in books (not the Icha Icha novels 😭😭😭) so he'll try to confess using the traditional methods.

(we've got another one fellas)

Dinner dates, bringing you flowers, trying to woo you with his strength

But you never get the idea.

Not until he's ranting to Gai, the only other person closest to you, about his failures. Because at this point, he would take any help given.

He was already straining himself by being this forward, not used to being forced to confront his emotions.

"I just don't know what it's gonna take for Y/n to understand I like them."

And Gai sees you peaking over Kakashi's shoulder, with the other male not noticing you. And he gets a brilliant idea

"You like them?"

"You know what I mean."

"I don't believe I do rival. To understand one's own emotions, they must verbalize it to the world."

The copy ninja had never been so flustered.

Verbalize his feelings?

Not a chance

It was just too embarrassing.

But Gai's plan wasn't for Kakashi to take the bait. It was for you. And take the bait you did.

"I love you!" So proud and happy and everything pure.

And Kakashi jumped because he was completely unprepared for it.

He turns to face you red in the face, while you're beaming up at him.

No embarrassment.

No regret

Just you with nothing going on up top

Head empty

And he's so smitten he pulls you into a hug.

Not a kiss, his heart's not strong enough for that yet. It's something he'll need to build up on.

He's a total dork when it comes to romance so all his nicknames for you are the lovey-dovey ones

Calls you love, honey, sweetheart, baby, dear, darling

He introduces you to his ninken and they straight up prefer you over him. You always bring over treats for them and have the energy to play with them.

Kakashi doesn't get jealous, but he gets very insecure

When other women or men flirt with you, you don't realize it. But Kakashi does and he thinks you might prefer the advances of the other party more than him.

But then you're always walking away from the other person because you saw him start to sulk.

You find him and squish his cheeks going-

"Why are you sad. C'mon and smile for me my pretty boy."

And he's so 😍😍😍 because you called him pretty.

And then he's blushing real hard because you also called him yours.

It always gets him to forget about the other person and cement the idea that you chose him

He's also fiercely protective of you.

Yes you're strong and can handle yourself, but there's always a possibility you could be killed.

And that's enough of a reason for him to never let you take on a mission by yourself

If the wrong person were to use your stupidity to their advantage.......

You're never allowed to fight by yourself

Please don't go without supervision

He doesn't want to lose you 🥺🥺🥺

UP NEXT: Sebastian Michaelis

MASTERLIST

[marshmallowprotection]

How do you think the twins feel about having fans in rae? I'm sure they appreciate the public support, but going from no one knowing about you to everyone having that much information about you and your family history must be so uncomfortable

Everything there is to know about the twins is known. People think of them as celebrities by the time we return to Saeran's After Ending. As of the start of that event, it's been almost two months since the first reveal was brought to light, give or take a few days, and in that time, a lot of people have made a spectacle out of them. I mean, look at all of the buzz that happened around SevenStar drink!

Yoosung was one of the ones promoting the soda online in support of Saeyoung! People weren't buying it because they wanted to support the orphanages that the money was supposed to be going to. They were buying everything because they wanted to have a piece of the spectacle. Sure, some of them might've done that, had they known it was the deal between Saeyoung and Chairman Han... but.

I mean, the money was going to the best place it could go to, but make no mistake, I have not a single doubt in my mind that most people wanted to pick up the drink because it had to do with the publicity of all of this. the publicity of all of this. As far as I can tell, people aren't thinking about the humanity in the situation, they're thinking about everything else. 

Imagine what would happen in this universe we live in right now if the leader of a country had illegitimate children revealed, alongside the fact that he apparently kidnapped one of those kids? That's national news, if not worldwide because that kind of event is not something that you can sweep under the rug. Even if everybody thought it was hearsay or some kind of ruse from the get-go, everybody would be talking about it nonetheless.

How could you simply let it slide that a leader you voted for is implied to have done something horrible?

It's just not plausible to avoid it!

Look at this conversation you can have with Yoosung's friend from college who is a "fan" of the twins. Everyone thinks the boys are very handsome and I can't blame them for that, because it is true. But, people are interested in them because of their looks and because of the outright celebrity of the situation.

Everybody wants to be seen with them because it'll boost anything and everything on their social media. Do I think that there are people out there who heard the story that the boys went through and are sympathetic and want to support them for the right reasons?

Oh, yes, I do believe that, but in reality, I know that a lot of people are very shallow.

Unfortunately, there's only so much we hear about public opinion so I can only draw speculation from the people that we are allowed to hear from and interact with in the game when it comes to what all of these people think about the boys.

We even get a lot of support from Yoosung’s mother when we get the chance to speak to her! Her comments are the ones that remind me that not everybody is interested in the boys just because of how pretty they think they are, there are people who genuinely do not like the prime minister and always assumed something underhanded was going on, and now they only have confirmation. 

Another example is the outgoing message on Jaehee’s phone. Out of all of the questions that you could decidedly ask somebody about the boys, why are all of you calling about his hair color? 

More than anything, I know that Saeran doesn't know how to react to any of this.

All he wants to do is live an ordinary life, as an ordinary man, and now he's never going to be able to do that. People are constantly going to think about him even if the news of what he went through fades and calms down eventually, Everyone is always going to know his name and his story. It'll get easier as everything goes by and there's more time to think about the way the world is moving, but I do know one thing, from how he reacted on that phone call with Yoosung’s friend?

He's easily flustered and he doesn't know how to respond to people that supposedly support him and like him because he's not used to that. 

I think he's the kind of person who would be too nice to tell anybody no if they wanted to take a picture with him, or if they wanted to share conversation with him.

Because he is the kind of person that would like to sit down with other people and talk to them, and as long as it doesn't eat too much into his day, I feel like he wouldn't mind the celebrity too much, but if it gets in the way of him being able to have a normal life, then there would have to be a conversation about doing something or changing something to be able to get the piece of privacy he deserves. 

The only thing I'm really worried about are people who aren't going to be considered of his boundaries in the future, you know the people I'm talking about, people who will hit on or make him uncomfortable. That is something that a lot of celebrities have to go through, and we see it with Jumin and Zen, especially. I don't want to think about those details but I know it's something that could happen regardless of how many boundaries he puts up. I know him well enough to say that he would tell people like it is, but he shouldn't have to do that in the first place. 

More likely than not, he's going to be able to survive that situation through the support of everyone around him, and as long as the people around him who consider themselves his fans learn how to interact with him, it won't be a problem. Just let the man enjoy a grocery trip with his partner, please.

He's not asking much. 

God. I don't even know where to start on Saeyoung.

He has been suffering through this Non-Stop and when he is spit out on the other side, he has to learn that the entire world knows about him and there's nothing he can do about it. He is the kind of person who has lived in paranoia his entire life. He is still a paranoid man to this day.

He can't trust anybody and he doesn't want to trust anybody. The only people he can sincerely trust are those he knew before this all went wrong. He doesn't want to be a celebrity, he doesn't want people to know about him, but if it kept his brother from dying, he'll accept it as a necessary evil. 

He won't say anything at all if his brother doesn't mind. He will always put the needs of his brother before himself. If I can say anything, it's that he's not going to want to talk to anybody or give information to anyone else. I mean, think about it, he has had to live in hiding his entire life, constantly changing his name and persona to be able to survive, and now there is a speeding bullet on his back.

The agency that hired him can't destroy him and his father can't destroy him, but you know who can come after him? The countless people he pissed off when he was doing his job. There are people who know his face even if they never knew his name, and that could always be a problem for him. 

His name, his age, his face, and everything you can think of is just out there. When he subjected himself to going on video after the initial sacrifice on the second day, he knew what was going to happen to him. He knew what was going to happen to everyone else. He only did that because he thought it was the only thing that would be able to get his brother to go far, far, far away.

He sacrificed everything willingly in the name of love. He doesn't want his name and face to be out there. 

He wants to have a private life and I can see him going out of his way to wear disguises and avoid people like wildfire if humanly possible. He will spend a lot of time doing everything he can to make sure that he and his brother cannot be followed or tracked because that's just how his paranoia manifests. Until things get settled, I imagine he would spend a lot of time playing bodyguard if only because it helps him feel more in control of his situation. 

He's never going to adjust to people knowing who he is. He went from one extreme to another and there's no words to describe what that must be like. The price of freedom came at a major cost and the twins have to learn how to live with that.

[motownfiction]

one year after the accident

One year after the accident, Lucy still can’t even think about Cherries Jubilee at Baskin-Robbins. It’s not that she’s ever actually eaten it. As a matter of fact, she’s not sure she’s ever known anyone who’s eaten it. It’s just that whenever she would go into the Baskin-Robbins down on the corner with Sam, they’d make jokes about “obviously getting a scoop of Cherries Jubilee.” The joke began sometime in the ninth grade, when Lucy was going through a phase, trying to find the most unique names for a baby girl in her future. How insightful of her, really. When she read Cherries Jubilee on one of the ice cream tubs, she thought one of those would make a great name. Probably Jubilee. She made the mistake of saying it loud, and Sam – never one to miss a beat – immediately said, “Why not both?” Thankfully, Lucy laughed, and it spiraled into a joke that lasted until the day he died. No one else was ever really in on it. That’s what made it special. Lucy and her friend of distinction.

One year after the accident, Lucy can’t think about “Angel Baby” without remembering that time at her parents’ Fourth of July barbecue. It was the summer between ninth and tenth grade, right after she got the guts to tell Sadie that she was in love with Will. But she didn’t need to admit to Sam. Sam understood everybody. The minute that strange song by Rosie & the Originals began to play from the Callaghans’ turntable, Sam knew what was going on. Will didn’t. He was minding his own business, eating a hot dog, assuming that Lucy could never do something romantic for him, not after all this time. But Sam knew. He sprung into action, spilling some of his Coke on the vinyl tablecloth, and met Lucy in the middle of the driveway for a slow dance. He sang the song in a high falsetto because of course he knew all the words to it. He said they’d make Will jealous. Lucy laughs now, thinking Sam must have wanted to make Will jealous of Lucy, too. Maybe. What a sweetie he was, even then. Especially then.

One year after the accident, Lucy tells herself that she doesn’t have the right to miss Sam. Sure, they had a few special moments, but everyone else in her life was closer to him. Sure, they loved each other as friends, but that’s not the same as losing a son, a brother, an in-law, a godfather, a best friend whom you’ve loved even longer than the wife you’ve known since first grade. None of those people want to see her grieve for him. She’d be making it about herself. It’s not that she didn’t lose Sam. It’s that the people she loves lost him more.

One year after the accident, Lucy tries to pretend like there isn’t a hole in her heart … like her soul doesn’t scratch like a record after it’s been left on the wrong side too long. One year after the accident, she doesn’t even think about whether she should be feeling any way else. That’s just not what you do.

It’s not what you do.

(part of @nosebleedclub poetry month challenge -- day 6!)

[y-junghyeok]

i. draft - your light is where the sun shines

— Lux won’t talk about it.

Because if he voiced his problem out loud, he will give it reasons to stay in his head and he didn’t need to overthink. His situation is complicated enough, adding to it would be overburdening his mind with matters out of his control.

But Alisaie is another matter completely. She’s more expressive and open than he is. He admires that about her, he thinks. It would not be easy for him to put his feelings into words, but she excels at it. Something about her straightforwardness makes him feel lacking, but learning to express his feelings is another problem he won’t tackle any time soon.

Often, he finds it a blessing that they have each other for company during their stay in the First. Better her than Alphinaud, he would not know how to communicate with the boy while the awkwardness about Lorette hangs over them. Yet, nothing is ever perfect. Alisaie is far more eager to tackle problems while Lux would remain a watcher for however long he can. Her sincerity and boldness are appreciated in front of his passivity, but often, he doesn’t know what to do with them.

Not when she glares at him with the intention to kill, “You shouldn’t lead her on.”

“Pardon?”

“Tesleen,” Alisaie gestures wildly at their mutual friend’s direction. Vaguely, he’s grateful she isn’t watching them talking about her. Alisaie’s actions must be painting a strange picture.

“What of her?” Lux frowns. His worry is clear on his face but he would not speculate before Alisaie can air her grievance.

“By the gods, you can be slow at times,” Alisaie sighs. “Look, we won’t be staying here forever. Whatever care you have for her, you should know that it will only give her pain in the long run.”

His eyes widen. Oh.

Her implication clicks in his head. To say he’s perplexed by her accusation is an understatement, but Lux only clears his throat before replying. “Alisaie, I didn’t know you have that impression of my feelings for her,” he says, “but rest assured, I only see in Tesleen a friend and a sister at best. I won’t do wrong by her, this you shall have my promise.”

Alisaie narrows her eyes, unconvinced. Lux is at a loss with what he can do to bring her around. Short of confessing his true feelings, everything else is lackluster.

“Besides, I—“

Lux clamps his mouth shut the moment he hears what he’s saying. The thought slips out of him before he gets the chance to articulate it inside his brain. His mistake does not go unnoticed.

At once, Alisaie closes in on him, her eyes searching. “What was that?”

“Nothing,” he replies quickly, too quick to sway her.

Again, he clears his throat. It does nothing to assuage his nerves this time. “I meant to say that I know better than to form romantic attachment when we have so much at stakes.” It’s not a lie, not completely. He inclines his head towards Tesleen, hoping Alisaie would buy his reasoning. “If I have done anything to stir up misunderstandings, then I apologize. I have nothing but platonic intention when I approach the people here.”

Tentatively, he adds, “If you wish for me to settle the matter with Tesleen, I wouldn’t mind. I don’t wish for her to assume the wrong impression.”

Not while his heart cares for another, at the very least.

&. “I’m glad you’re safe,” his words are whispered but the weight they carry is one of a confession, “you have a lot on your shoulder, you shouldn’t have to weather it alone.”

She knows he cares, he always cares. Often more than he should, but he never makes it a bad thing. Not to anyone except him. Sol’s smile is a secret, only known to her and no one else. “I was never alone,” she says, “you were always there and if not you, Alphinaud is somewhere around the corner.”

His smile, however, is no secret. It is exasperated and amused all the same. “I’m glad you at least have him to count on.”

[maiaborg25]

Logical Fallacies

Arguments in which the conclusion inescapably follows from the premises are known as deductive arguments. The conclusion of a logical argument must be true if the premises are true.

 The conclusion of an inductive argument is one that is likely to be true given the evidence but is not definitely true. Patterns and trends serve as the foundation for inductive arguments, and the conclusion is drawn by extrapolating from the data.

 In an abductive argument, the conclusion serves as the best possible justification for the evidence. The phrase "inference to the best explanation" is another name for abductive reasoning. It entails analysing the facts and formulating the explanation that, in light of our current understanding, makes the most sense.

Argument from ignorance- occurs when someone claims that something is true simply because it has not been demonstrated to be incorrect or the opposite. Instead of using any strong evidence to support the assertion, this style of argument focuses on the lack of such proof. It is frequently employed as a way to escape the burden of proof and is typically regarded as a feeble and unpersuasive style of argument. Example- "There must be aliens visiting Earth, because no one can prove that they don't exist."

Argument to inappropriate authority- An appeal to an authority individual or institution that is unqualified or unreliable to speak on the subject at hand is known as an argument to unsuitable authority. This kind of argument, which can be used to convince people to accept a claim or view even when it is not adequately supported, depends more on the listener's perception of the speaker's authority than it does on logic or evidence. Although this kind of reasoning is invalid and does not imply that the assertion is accurate, it can be helpful in getting people to accept a claim. Instead, than accepting arguments at face value because of the speaker's apparent authority, it is critical to thoroughly consider the reliability of the source and the evidence being offered. For example, I think it will rain tomorrow because my doctor told me.  

Against the man- includes criticizing the personality or characteristics of the person delivering the argument rather than the argument itself. Ad hominem, which is Latin for "to the person," and "personal abuse" are other terms for this error. It is a fallacy in logic because the truth of the argument itself is unaffected by the personal traits of the person delivering the argument. In other words, the argument can still be correct or legitimate even if the individual making it is dishonest, unreliable, or otherwise faulty. Instead of getting distracted by insults or other issues, it is critical to concentrate on the argument's content and assess it on its own merits. For example, he is a bad doctor for cheating on his wife.

Begging the question- occurs when a statement or claim is presumed to be true without offering enough evidence to back it up. This kind of mistake happens when the argument's premise implicitly assumes the argument's conclusion. For instance, the assertion that "God exists because the Bible says so, and the Bible is true because God wrote it" raises more questions than it answers because it presupposes that God exists in order to support the assertion that God exists. Instead of assuming that your assertions and conclusions are correct, you should offer proof and logic to back them up in order to avoid falling victim to this fallacy. Example y is true because x is true, and x is true because y is true.

Appeal to the majority- A logical fallacy known as the "appeal to the majority," "appeal to the masses," or "appeal to the people" happens when someone tries to defend their argument by asserting that it is commonly held or accepted by the majority of people. This kind of argument is flawed because just though many people have a particular belief, it does not imply that it is true. Something is not always true or valid just because it is widely accepted or popular. Instead of relying merely on the fact that many people hold an argument to be correct, it is critical to assess the supporting facts and logic. Example- The Beatles are great because they are famous worldwide.

Appeal to emotion- Instead of depending on reason or facts, an appeal to emotion is a form of fallacy that seeks to manipulate an audience's emotions in order to win an argument. Making an audience feel guilty, fearful, furious, or any other emotion that can impair judgment can be one way to accomplish this. These kinds of fallacies should be recognized because they can be employed to divert attention from the major issues at hand and coerce people into making choices that may not be in their best interests. For example, "How can you be so heartless?

Appeal to force- An argument that relies on the threat of force or violence to persuade the listener to accept a conclusion is said to be using the appeal to force fallacy. This fallacy is false because it appeals to fear or force instead of reasoned argument or supporting evidence to convince the audience. It is a form of argumentum ad baculum, a Latin phrase that translates as "argument to the stick" or "argument from force." People are frequently intimidated or coerced into accepting a result that they might not otherwise accept using this fallacy. To keep their populace under control, dictators and other authoritarian individuals frequently employ this strategy.

Person A: "I don't think we should go to war with that country. There are other ways to resolve the conflict peacefully."

Person B: "If you don't support going to war, then you're not a true patriot. You better get on board or suffer the consequences."

Strawman argument- is a specific kind of logical error that happens when someone embellishes or misrepresents an opposing perspective to make it simpler to criticize or disprove it. This fallacy is sometimes employed as a strategy for sidestepping discussion of the actual argument being advanced and criticising a distorted or oversimplified version of it instead. This method is frequently employed to make a claim appear weaker or less persuasive than it actually is. For talks to be fair and honest, it's critical to be aware of strawman arguments and to steer clear of them. For example person A: "I think we should invest more money in public education because it will help to reduce income inequality and improve social mobility."Person B: "Oh, so you want to throw more money at a broken system and expect different results? That's just ridiculous. You must be one of those naive liberals who believes that money grows on trees."

[chuckbass-love]

could you do live in nanny collge student with married andy

A/N: Okay, i don't consent to cheating, nor do i think this type of behaviour is acceptable with married men going for younger women when their wives are too exhausted or busy to have sex. But this with Andy would be steamy. Just a warning though, issa long one, i’m not even sorry. All mistakes are my own.

Disclaimer: My work is not to be translated or to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad or Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

I also wanted to put together a little playlist for everyone to listen to as you all read this...

- Guys My Age by Hey Violet

- Because Of You by Ne-Yo

- Dangerous Woman by Ariana Grande

- Sweat by Zayn

- Eyes Off You by Pretty Much

- Dancing With Our Hands Tied by Taylor Swift

- Sacrifice by Black Atlass featuring Jessie Reyez 

- Into You by Ariana Grande

Pairing: Married!Andy Barber x Nanny!CollegeStudent!Reader

Summary: When you first applied for a job as a live in nanny, working for a hot lawyer wasn't what you had anticipated...

Warnings: Cheating, smut, protected sex, unprotected sex, vaginal fingering, oral (f & m receiving), rough sex, love making, swearing, neck biting, nipple play, hair pulling and angst. Just a little btw, at the time. of uploading this, i’m exhausted and it’s 2am so ignore if any warnings are missed out, i’ll add them in when i get a chance. 18+ please!

Word Count: 49,167 (YIKES! I apologise....or do i?)

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @charllehunnam go check them out💕

A Younger Model

After quite the run around from your GPS, you finally pull up outside of the address that was given to you during the interview that you had with Laurie Barber last week. The two of you got on like a house on fire, it felt natural, like you had known her for years. 

And being that you’re going to be working for her as well as living with her, that’s a must. 

You distinctly recall her mentioning how she had more people to interview after you but a few more hours had passed without you realising and she had gotten so carried away laughing with you that she ended up offering you the job on the spot.

Which led you to begin packing up your stuff at your college dorm yesterday, finally being able to bid the tiny room and creepy roommate goodbye was a breath of fresh cold crisp air on a hot day, it was a huge relief.

Now you’re knocking on the big red door that belongs to the nicest exterior of a house that you’ve ever seen. When you’ve grown up with practically nothing, this seems like the swankiest and largest house ever, the best of the best. But then again Laurie did have that rich person charm about her. 

She mentioned that her husband Andy is a lawyer and that their son Jacob is only six currently, meaning with her job and Andy’s, it all compiled into the two of them not having enough hours in the day. Hence the reason you’ve found yourself here in the first place. 

It works for you though, the pay is great and it’s not far from campus, meaning you don’t have to travel all too far in your old VW. 

The door swings open revealing Laurie, a soft smile gracing her face and the bags underneath her eyes are even more prominent now that she’s not wearing make up, but what can you honestly expect from a mother of a six year old? 

She looks exhausted, now you’re even more clued up as to why she hired you. Her boss must run her ragged and then she has to come home to a young and rowdy Jacob who runs circles around her after being surrounded by kids just as crazy all day.

“Y/N, hey. Please, come in” she stands to one side, allowing you room to step inside but the second you do, a little boy who you assume to be Jacob zooms past you with a toy truck in his hand as he makes car noises.

“This is Jacob. Jacob say hi to Y/N” 

"Hi to Y/N” his sarcasm is impeccable for a six year old and you find yourself already excited to quip back at him whilst you’re here.

“Well hello there Jacob, are you driving mummy crazy again?” you lower to his height by squatting down and as soon as you do he smiles, the kind that bares his teeth and you can’t help but smile too. He’s adorable.

“I think we’ll get along just fine, won’t we Jacob?” his nod is over exaggerated like a lot of the things that kids do at this age, but it’s adorable nonetheless. Laurie leads you further into the house after closing the door, offering you a drink of your choosing after you explained the issues you had finding the house. You opted for some tea.

“Andy should be home around five or six, not sure specifically as it differs each day but he’s looking forward to meeting you and he even offered to help you with your stuff”

“He shouldn’t have, i can manage but it’ll be great to have the help” this family are seeming more and more lovely the longer you know them. You also can’t help but notice the way Laurie’s eyes light up as she talks about Andy, she’s smitten and very much in love. 

Even during the interview, way past all of the typical questions came a brief moment of sharing a bit about each other. All that she could talk about was how she felt the first time she met Andy, how loved up they are now and how she couldn’t picture herself with anyone else. 

You’re just excited for that to be you one day, in a home with your own family.

Just as you were starting to settle on the comfortable grey couch with a mug of tea in your hand, you hear an engine outside. Looks like Andy is home.

Laurie shoots up from her seat before heading to front door, opening it and wasting no time in stepping outside.

“How was work?” you can practically hear the way she’s so obviously grinning from ear to ear, yeah she’s all for him. 

And when she shouts “Y/N, come say hi” you get up too. Time to meet the man that has this woman so dizzy with love.

As you pad out to the foyer of their fancy home, your eyes lock on him. His back is turned to you as he closes the door before his eyes meet yours.

Andy freezes in his place, his eyes scanning your entire body before flickering between Laurie and yourself. 

“Hi, i’m Andy, nice to meet you” he holds his hand out for you to shake and you take it, gladly. His hand is so big compared to yours that you almost feel a tinge of intimidation. In fact, everything about him is bigger, he’s a lot taller than you so you find yourself looking up a little to communicate.

“Y/N, nice to meet you too” your bare feet planted firmly on the ground as you stand as tall as you can, hands crossed behind your back as your lips purse. 

“So, did you want to help her with her things and show her to her room” Laurie suggests “then we can all relax, have some dinner and get to know one another better” 

Food sounds so good right about now and you can’t help but feel embarrassed as your stomach grumbles loudly.

“Excuse me, the mention of food was too much” you feel heat work its way up to your cheeks, warming them as well as mortification. Why are you so weird?

Andy nods his head, loosening his tie in a way that causes a lump to grow in your throat. This is certainly not how you expected him to look, he’s the definition of a DILF. And now you have to live with him, great. 

It only took a couple of trips back and forth for Andy to help you move all of your things from your car to the newly renovated spare room. It was supposed to be Andy’s study aka his man cave, but when they had discussed hiring someone, they decided to change it. 

You’ve still got some unpacking to do but you managed to pull out some pyjamas for later, laying them down on your bed neatly in order for you to change into after your shower tonight. Once dinner is out of the way, you have access to the second floor bathroom, the one opposite Jacob’s bedroom.

Since this isn’t actually your home, you plan on changing after towel drying before you head downstairs to turn in for the night.

You make your way to the dining room table, pulling out a chair next to Jacob who just giggles at your presence.

“It’s weird having another girl here, huh, buddy?” Andy coos, giggling with his son, the father in him showing, It’s endearing to witness. 

This is the kind of father you always wanted growing up but never had, Instead you had a mother who worked her fingers to the bone with three jobs just to make ends meet. You lived pay check to pay check and sometimes she sacrificed meals for herself just so you could eat, she’s always been such a selfless woman. But despite all of the struggle you lived through, you survived and it meant that you grew up grateful for every little thing. Yourself and your brother Thomas turned out just fine if you do say so yourself, a real credit to your hard working mother.

Thomas is now heading to med school and you are studying business at college. It’s something that shocked a couple of snobbish family members who constantly turned their noses up at you, Thomas and your mother, something that irritated you greatly. 

You lost count of the many times you’ve had to bite your tongue around family members who didn’t deserve to be considered family. They judged all too much but did a fat nothing to help, thank god they didn’t anyway. You didn’t need nor want their charity, but still, the offer would have been nice. It would have at least showed you that they cared. 

Light conversation fills the room as you all tuck into your food, bar Jacob who just plays with it despite a warning from Laurie which only seems to fall on death ears. She glances at Andy with pleading eyes, as if to say ‘please can you try’ but he just sighs.

So you take it upon yourself to intervene before Andy can.

“Jacob, why don’t you eat” he shrugs again, refusing.

“Look how delicious it is” you shove a forkful in your mouth, satisfied hums filling the room “how do you expect to get big and strong if you don’t eat?”

Still nothing.

So, as a last resort you pick up a bunch of food with his fork before waving it in his face and making airplane noises, he soon scrunches his face up before opening up wide and allowing you to feed him. 

You repeat this a couple more times before turning to a gobsmacked Andy and Laurie. How had they not even thought to try the airplane trick? It’s the only thing that got yourself and Thomas to eat growing up, your mother had tried everything prior to that before a friend of hers recommended it and it worked a charm. Jacob seems to love it too.

“He never eats when we feed him anymore” Laurie sounds exasperated, she really is in need of an extended weekend away from being a mother, maybe now that you’re here, the tired out parents can finally have that.

“It always worked for me when i was younger, my mom said she tried it all” you smile genuinely before tucking back into your food, balancing that with feeding Jacob at the same time.

More conversation fills the silence as you all finish up your meals. Andy asks you all about your degree in business before he reciprocates your enthusiasm by telling you all about what being a lawyer is like. Laurie rolls her eyes as the two of you delve deep into his past cases and trials, his wins and his losses and before you know it, Laurie is interrupting to let you know that she’s taking Jacob to bed.

“Goodnight buddy, sleep tight” Andy pulls his son into his arms, swinging him around as he stands up.

“Andy, don’t excite him or he’ll never settle” Laurie scolds but Andy pays her no mind, continuing to tickle Jacob as his laugh echoes off of the kitchen walls. 

“I’ll take him up to bed, you take care of the table” you immediately get up to help her, washing the dishes before shoving them straight into the dishwasher as Laurie clears the table cloth to wash. 

Silence fills the air until suddenly her voice speaks up, almost making you jump.

“You can shower in our room, if you like. Jacob will be disturbed now if you use the guest one so you can leave the rest of this to me and head up”

She doesn’t have to tell you twice, you need a shower badly. So you flash her an appreciative nod before collecting your things from your room and dashing up the stairs quietly.

As you pass Jacob’s room, Andy is sat on his bed, the door is ajar and for some reason you find yourself eavesdropping.

“I like Y/N, she’s nice” Jacob says and your heart swells, he’s the cutest kid and the knowledge of him accepting you after only a couple of hours gives you the biggest tug at your lips. You honestly never anticipated it to be this easy, in fact you were worried he’d have hated you at first.

Still, it’s nice that it’s happened so soon.

You then proceed to head into the shower in the master bedroom, taking your time to undress before reaching in to work it out.

The water suddenly comes pouring out and you reach your hand in to feel until you get it set to the perfect temperature. That’s when you lock the door and step inside. The water cascades over your naked body, somehow easing all of the tension in your back, the knots that have been building up over time are slowly easing.

This shower has the best pressure you’ve ever felt, you’re definitely looking forward to your shower in the morning now, that’s for sure.

Andy quietly slips out of Jacob’s room, taking his time to tip toe down the stairs. Whatever he does, he can’t afford to wake Jacob now that he’s finally asleep. Ever since he was a baby, getting him to sleep has been a nightmare. 

He enters the kitchen only to find it empty but when he wonders into the lounge, Laurie is lying down, her eyes closing as she struggles to keep herself awake.

“Where’s Y/N?” he asks, curiously as he takes a seat next to his beloved wife.

“Showering in our room, once she’s done we will head to bed” she promises, smiling lazily as she absently cuddles up to him, his arm wraps around her tightly and he relaxes into the couch.

You don’t take long in the shower anyway, you quickly wash your hair and body before drying off, brushing your teeth and slipping into your matching silk shorts and tank top. Pink to match your sometimes girly personality.

After giving your hair one final towel dry before heading down, you toss it into the hamper along with your other clothes and make your way down the stairs. 

Andy hears you trying to go quietly into your room but when he turns around, your eyes meet.

“Off to bed?” he asks, using a lower register as he tries not to wake Laurie who has now fallen asleep in his arms.

“Yes, thank you for a great first night” your appreciative words make him curl is lips up slightly. 

“Don’t forget, you’re doing us the favour. Goodnight Y/N” 

“Goodnight, Andy”

And with that you head into your room, closing the door and locking it behind you before slipping underneath the covers and relaxing.

Just as you do so, you remember your clothes in their hamper upstairs, your racy underwear surely won’t go unnoticed. But if you’re going to live here, you need to act like it’s your home too. Something that Laurie and Andy told you to do during dinner. It’s your home now as much as theirs. 

--------------------------------------

The light bursts into the window, interrupting you rudely. You forgot to close the blinds last night, just your luck.

You reach over to the nightstand to grab your phone, tilting it as you turn over to get a glimpse, it’s only half six. Way too early. But before you can even contemplate getting some more shut eye, you hear Jacob running around outside already with Laurie following behind him and by the sound of it, she’s not succeeding in catching up to him.

Time for you to get up and go do what they are paying you to do, you suppose.

As you scoot off of the bed, you slip your feet into your slippers before reaching for your fluffy robe that you hung on the back of the door last night. Without another second alone in peace, you open the door, shutting it behind you before shuffling out into the kitchen to find Andy with his back to you as he looks into the refrigerator.

You can hear Laurie and Jacob but until Jacob zooms past, you’d have had no idea where about in the house they were.

“Y/N, you’re up” Laurie points out the obvious before coming to a halt and resting her hands on her hips as she breathes in and out.

Andy spins around on the balls of his feet, his attention falls upon you and your fresh morning face along with your bed hair that’s in total disarray. 

He looks you up and down, giving you the once over before clearing his throat and turning back to whatever he was doing prior to your entrance. But the feel of his eyes on you is still burned into your skin, it feels strange, strange in the sense that it’s never happened before but also because you froze under his gaze, unable to move until he looked away.

Sure, you’ve had guys look at you plenty of times, even older men like Andy but you never felt...nervous, before.

The thought forms before dissolving seconds later as Jacob runs up to you, roaring like a dinosaur as he holds up his t-rex toy. You bend down and take his hand before running into the living room with him, cooing as you walk “wanna show me your other dinosaurs, Jacob?”

To which he enthusiastically nods “you can help me line them up in time for their breakfast” 

“Wow, the dinosaurs get breakfast too” you beam, disappearing into the living room, leaving Andy and Laurie to watch on before listening in on your conversation with their son.

“She’s so great with him” Laurie can hardly contain her smile.

If Andy is being honest, he was shocked when he first met you yesterday, you’re so young. Laurie informed him that despite you only being twenty, you’re very mature for your age and that’s just what she’s gathered from the short amount of time that she spent with you.

Andy’s reservations were soon put to bed when he watched you with Jacob, he could see his son had taken a real liking to you and seeing as Jacob has always been a closed off child thus far in his six years on this earth, it was a real miracle to discover how far out of his shell you’d brought him. It was lovely to witness. You’re a natural with kids.

Although you have to admit, you were worried too. All the panicked what if’s you bombarded your friends with leading up to moving into the Barber’s home, it was frantic to say the least.

Now that you’re here though, you can see yourself really feeling at home soon enough. Between the gossiping with Laurie, the deep chats with Andy and the play time with Jacob, it’s almost like you’re already part of the family. 

Which will be nice to have in between all of your classes at college, considering your brother is always too busy lately and your mom is taking time for herself.  Time off from the multiple jobs she’s continuously been working for as long as you can remember.

“Yes, she is” Andy finishes up his coffee before placing it into the empty sink and heading into the lounge.

“Y/N... we’re just heading to work” he pokes his head into the room, his dark blue suit jacket just about covering his crisp white dress shirt. You find yourself getting distracted, your eyes raking over his smart attire, so this is what a lawyer dresses like every day. Seems like it’s all expensive suits and watches with unattractive men from what you’ve seen in documentaries, or at least it was until you watched Suits. However, you thought that was just for the tv show, but now seeing Andy dressed up as well as how he was dressed yesterday, maybe not all lawyers are old and unattractive after all.

“There’s a card on the table, you can use it to take Jacob out today as he’s not in Kindergarten today. The refrigerator is full and our numbers are on a post it, feel free to call either of us if you need anything” Laurie says, strutting in, adjusting her earrings and flashing you a smile, one that you return.

“Got it, thank you”

“Honey, we should be thanking you. Like i said in the interview, we aren’t going to rely on you constantly, it’s just more of a little helping hand and you’re doing us a huge favour” this woman really is the kindest, she’s been so incredibly welcoming, almost like a second mother or better yet, another friend.

Andy picks Jacob up, pressing kisses to his sticky face, he clearly struggled to consume his breakfast without missing his mouth, not surprising whatsoever.

Next Laurie bids her son goodbye and before you know it, you’re stood at the door waving with Jacob as Laurie and Andy get into their separate cars and pull off of the drive. 

Once the door closed, your stomach rumbles loudly causing Jacob to let out a soft giggle before grabbing a hold of your hand and dragging you into the kitchen.

“Eat, Miss Y/N” he orders, pointing at the cupboard that holds the breakfast cereals.

“Miss?”

“Yes” 

“Well then, Mr Jacob. How about i have my cereal and then we get ready to go swimming, sound good to you?” 

Yet again, Jacob nods over enthusiastically before running back into the lounge to continue playing with his dinosaurs whilst you pour yourself a decent sized bowl of frosted flakes, digging into them as you take a seat at the dining table. 

As you eat you flick through your phone, responding to a couple texts from your friends before moving to the texts from your mother and Thomas. By the time you finish eating, you’re all caught up, just in time for you to shower.

Meanwhile Andy is only just arriving at work, he parks in his usual spot before jogging up the steps and into the building. He struts past reception, giving the lady behind the desk a polite nod, he doesn’t even know her name but still, it’s only right that he at least acknowledges her since he sees her near enough every single day. Aside from weekends, obviously.

On the way to his office, he just so happens to pass Neal’s, his arch nemesis and the only man that could quite literally make his blood boil just by existing. It sounds dramatic but it’s true.

“Andy” Neal walks out, leaning against his office door with his arms folded

“Satan” Andy quips back, passing him and flashing his colleague a feigned smile before walking into his office and shutting the door. Leaving all communication with Neal outside. 

He’s got a lot of work to get through today and the last thing he needs is Neal distracting him. Besides, with the added stress of having another tenant in his house, not to mention a young and attractive tenant, it’s definitely going to consume him and take some getting used to, that’s for sure. Maybe his heavy work load for today will keep him focused on something else aside from a younger woman walking around his house in booty shorts.

Although Laurie no longer walks around that way, he still loves her, even more so than when he first met her. She’s just as good as any twenty year old, if not better. And to think everyone said sex vanishes when children and marriage happen but that’s far from the case with Andy and Laurie, sure they don’t always get the time but they still have great sex, exhilarating even.

Perhaps with you in the picture, they can have more of that great sex. Andy can’t help but allow his mind to race over all the things he could do to Laurie if he had the opportunity to really take his time. But just as images flash through his mind, a knock at his office door rips him from his fantasies.

“Come in” he calls out, turning his computer on and opening the first file of many on his desk as Lynn enters. 

“Good morning, Andy. I heard you started off the day by insulting Neal, no change there i see” her sarcasm pulls genuine laughter from him.

“Hey, if i were to be nice then that would be totally out of character” his joke filled smirk earns the same laughter from Lynn before she shrugs it off. Not even giving him a stern telling off like she usually does, she’s finally getting the message that Andy and Neal will never get along, not how they used to when Neal first started at the firm.

Whilst Andy and Lynn have their morning discussion about the work load for the day, yourself and Jacob are just arriving at the pool.

It’s been a while since you’ve been so you’re just as excited to be here as Jacob, maybe even more so. You did find yourself practically tearing Jacob’s room apart as you searched for his swimming stuff though before you eventually caved and rung Laurie, you figured that Andy would probably be just as clueless as you and you’d have been correct with that assumption.

The second your toes dip into the water as you ease yourself in, you feel relaxed. You help Jacob in with his armbands on and once the two of you are in, you begin to guide him through the water slowly, taking the time to ease him into it since he can’t swim just yet.

“I’ll tell you what, Jacob. Shall i teach you how to swim to me if i stand over there” you suggest, pointing to a spot only a couple of inches away from your current spot and sure he’s only six but if you can at least get him to doggy paddle his way over, even if it’s not actually swimming, it’ll be a big achievement. Besides, Laurie and Andy will be thrilled to hear he gave it an attempt today too. It’ll be more proof to them that they made the right choice in hiring you and you’re desperate to prove that you were worth taking a chance on.

An unsure and anxious expression covers Jacob’s face but you’re quick to reassure him that he can do it by cooing soothing and encouraging words. It does the trick, thankfully.

So you back up a couple inches and guide him on how to paddle over, instructing him to kick his legs and splash his arms in the water rapidly and with more than a couple of tries, including you returning to where he’s floating and helping him with a more hands on approach, he finally manages to paddle over to you.

You clap for him, cheering loudly as you pick him up and spin around in the pool causing him to laugh, tilting his head back. He’s so adorable, a real credit to Andy and Laurie. 

Once again, you coerce him into repeating it just to make sure he’s really picking it up. Any excuse to make him smile and laugh again. You can already sense yourself getting attached to him. Kids are always going to have a place in your heart. They are the future after all.

After a couple more successful attempts at paddling over to you, you decide to give it a rest for the day and enjoy another 20 minutes of floating around in the water before getting out. You assist Jacob in drying off and changing into fresh dry clothes before drying and changing yourself and heading out to your car.

“Hungry, buddy?” you stick the key in the ignition after putting his seat belt on and ensuring he’s comfy in the car seat you got for your car. 

“Can we get some food now?” 

“Sure thing, let’s go home and eat”

-------------------------------------

By the time 4:00pm rolls around, Jacob is sprawled out on the sofa fast asleep with his t-rex toy in his hand loosely. His little snores are the cutest thing ever, he reminds you a lot of your cousin Caden, the innocence that kids have at this stage makes you want to protect them with everything you have, from all the evil the world contains. 

Laurie texted you at half three to let you know that she’d be running late due to meetings running over with her boss but you quickly assured her that Jacob had been golden and that you don’t mind her being gone a little longer. Especially since he dozed off almost instantly after he practically inhaled his sandwich. Swimming really tired him out.

After a really successful day with Jacob, you officially feel like you have a job now. Plus you cannot wait to share all the details of your adventurous day with with Laurie and Andy, especially about the achievement with swimming, they are bound to be super proud of their son.

Another hour passes by, and there is still no sign of Laurie, there have also been no more texts from her to indicate when she’ll be coming home despite the  texts that you’ve sent to keep tabs. You even texted Andy, no reply. 

Since you’ve had no recent updates, you decide to take it upon yourself to make a start on dinner, it’ll be the least you can do considering they are putting you up and paying for you to help them out. You have to earn your right to stay, contribute something aside from watching Jacob.

It only feels fair for you to do something in return. Besides, the two of them must have had hectic days, for them to then come home and cook, it’s too much work. 

You get started on boiling some water for the pasta before focusing on making the tomato sauce. Spaghetti Bolognese is the perfect meal for you to make, it’s quick and easy, not to mention very tasty. It also fills you up quickly.

With the tomatoes diced up along with onions and mushrooms, you start to dig around in the freezer, managing to retrieve some garlic bread that Laurie got in before you arrived, lucky for you it goes with the food you’re cooking. 

And as you’re throwing everything into the pot to cook, you hear a car engine right outside the house and since you figure it’s either Andy or Laurie, you don’t bother to check.

Instead you continue to cook away, making sure that you’re concentrating enough to remember the recipe that you’re mom taught you. 

Andy bursts through the back door connected to the kitchen, looking absolutely exhausted. 

“Long day?” you ask, with your back now to him.

“You have no idea” 

That’s when you turn to find him stood there, staring at you. His hair is still styled to perfection, however, his tie has been loosened a lot and his suit jacket is now in his hand before he drops it down onto the kitchen counter.

The action irks you a little so you turn the heat down on the sauce before taking his jacket and moving it to the coat hooks next to the front door.

Upon returning you find him smirking at you. 

“What?”

He shrugs “nothing, it’s just Laurie always does that” 

Now you’re the one smirking “well then maybe you should learn not to do it”

He nods in agreement before stalking closer to your spot at the stove, he inhales dramatically before glancing over at you.

“Spaghetti Bolognese?” 

Your enthusiastic nod lets him know he’s correct and as you add in the remainder of ingredients, more flavours fill the kitchen, causing his stomach to rumble loudly. You continue to cook around him, roaming the kitchen to collect different utensils before you add the pasta to the now boiling hot water. 

“So, how was Jacob today?” Andy says, looking around the room to find his son “actually, where is he?” 

“He’s been golden all day and as of right now, he’s passed out on the couch” you don’t even attempt to hide your smug tone, it feels good to tell Andy that the day has gone according to plan, it means himself and Laurie will keep you on and a job is a job. It’ll keep your ass on the road with the money being mostly for gas as well as contributing to the upkeep of your shopping addiction.

Andy wonders off into the lounge to see Jacob still very much asleep before coming back into the kitchen to grab a beer out of the refrigerator and leaning on the kitchen counter next to the stove. 

“I gotta say, i’m very impressed. When Laurie expressed an interest in hiring a nanny, i wasn’t keen. If anything i actively fought against her on it” 

Okay, now you’re intrigued to hear his counter argument. With your brows raised and a look in your eyes that’s telling him to continue, you balance cooking in between glancing over.

“Well, i just think it should always be a last resort. I mean we have him in kindergarten for the majority of the week and i wanted her to at least try other options for the times where he was home before we hired anyone. However, seeing how great you’ve been with him, i’ll admit it wasn’t the worst decision she’s ever made. I mean, if you can ware him out like that, it’s always a good sign” the chuckle that he lets slip has you following suit, the girly type of giggle though.

“He’s been so good today, i took him swimming and he even managed to doggy paddle his way over to me from a couple inches away. So i guess you could say i made progress”

The look on Andy’s face tells you all that you need to know, he’s proud of his son. Jacob is not only a sweet kid but he’s also very advanced for his age. His vocabulary is at a stage you didn’t expect it to be, he comes across as very mature and knowledgable, it’s endearing and adorable. You love spending time with him, a factor that will make living here and looking after him very enjoyable. How can this be something you’re getting paid to do? It doesn’t even feel like a job.

“You better be careful, once Laurie hears this she’ll be adopting you and locking you in this house so that you can never leave” Andy jokes as if he doesn’t even find himself funny but somehow you can’t help the laughter from escaping, the ugly kind of laugh that you always avoid letting slip so that no one aside from family hears it.

He doesn’t seem to mind though.

You stir the sauce a little before bringing the wooden spoon up to your mouth and tasting it.  Wow, this is actually kind of good. Granted, it’s far from the level of your moms cooking but it’s not half bad. You then turn to Andy, gesturing for him to taste it as you hold the spoon in the air near his mouth, your other hand underneath the spoon incase any spills. 

His lips wrap around the spoon delicately before he pulls away to really taste it and his lips curl up, satisfied. 

“Perfect”

You feel so good right now, so proud of yourself. If this is what adulting is like, you can safely say, you’ve nailed it.

If anyone were to take a glance at the two of you though, they’d presume you were the ones married. The way you’re both gathered around tasting the sauce together whilst Jacob is napping in the other room, it’s a very domesticated situation. So much so that you analyse it a little too much and back away almost like he repulses you. 

You turn the heat down on the sauce and pasta before draining the it whilst Andy lays the table. The two of you working in an awkward silence.

There was something in the way he bent down to suck the sauce off of that spoon, the way his face was so close to yours. And as he stood upright, the smile he flashed you as he let you know his true thoughts on the food. It caused a strange feeling to warm you, it felt nice and something about him feels so familiar or better yet welcoming. It’s as though even from the second you laid eyes on each other, there’s been this ability to feel comfortable around one another.

But that’s all there is to it...right?

You pour the freshly cooked spaghetti into the bowl before pouring the sauce into a separate one and carrying them over to the dining table. Andy then takes out the garlic bread from the oven, carrying it over too. Four places set at the table, yet only three people are present. Well, two currently until Andy successfully wakes Jacob from his nap.

Seconds later you hear a groan as Andy enters the lounge.

“Come on buddy, dinner is ready”

Andy strolls in slowly, carrying Jacob in his arms. before placing him down onto a chair opposite his and Laurie’s places, yet there is still no sign of her.  

Just as you assume that you’ll be eating without her, the front door opens and you hear a loud and dramatic sigh.

Laurie shuffles in, her feet bare as she most likely removed her heels the second she could. You don’t blame her whatsoever, she must have had a pretty hectic day.

“I am so sorry, Y/N. I didn’t think i’d be this late” her eyes scan the dining table to see the food that you prepared and her eyes water.

“You didn’t have to cook too, you’re too kind” she takes a seat next to Andy, leaning over to him to press a loving kiss to his cheek but before she can pull away he tugs her back for a proper kiss on the lips, something that makes Jacob scrunch his face up.

“Ewwwww, kissing” he squeals, causing everyone to erupt into laughter.  

Andy then serves the spaghetti as everyone goes over their day. Laurie explains that the meetings ran over as one of the kids she looks after was having some trouble at home, something that took extra care from her to deal with efficiently. 

Next up is Andy who explains more about a murder case that he’s working on, something you take serious interest in, barely even eating your food as you watch him with wide eyes. 

Since moving in with the Barber family, you’ve discovered how much of an interest you have over the law. You’ve always listened to those crime podcasts on Spotify and always watched documentaries on tv but this is crime told by a lawyer who handles the cases himself, it’s different from hearing it on tv from someone because you’re actually face to face with someone who knows all about what he’s telling you. He’s spoken to these criminals, it’s mind boggling.

After Andy finishes up, you go next. You explain to Laurie about yours and Jacob’s trip to the pool, telling her all about his success with learning to doggy paddle. 

To some parents, that is far from a big deal but to Andy and Laurie, they seem so proud and caring when it comes to Jacob, it’s lovely to see. Your mom was exactly the same when it came to yourself and your brother Thomas, if anything she still is. Any achievement, no matter how big or small, she’d celebrate like you’d just become the president of the United States. 

Various topics of conversation are thrown around throughout the remainder of the meal along with the occasional compliment from Laurie who continues to apologise over and over for leaving you with Jacob so long. Despite your insistence that it was completely fine and that Andy was home earlier than usual to help out too, she was having none of it. 

However, you manage to curb it once everyone finishes up with their food and you can finally start to clear the table. 

“Come on my little superstar, let’s get you to bed, shall we?” Andy coos, scooping Jacob up in his arms before you disrupt him.

“Can i take him to bed?” you glance back over your shoulder at Laurie who just shrugs, leaving it up to Andy to decide. But soon enough he hands Jacob to you before walking back to Laurie, the two of them stand and watch you walk up the stairs as you chat away to their son. 

Man, Andy doubts that he’ll ever get used to seeing you with Jacob. You’re so good with him it’s ridiculous, he always had this assumption that young adults were supposed to dislike kids, perhaps you are the exception. Then again it could just be your maternal instincts kicking in early.

To think that you’re only twenty, it’s bizarre. You present yourself so well, you act so mature. What twenty year old woman out there acts this way? He’s yet to see proof that you aren’t the only one. You have it all together, your career path, your social life and you even drive.

He can recall being twenty once too, Laurie was the epitome of everything he wanted in a woman. She was everything you are currently, maybe that’s why he finds you so appealing.

Either that or he’s having a mid life crisis.

Laurie leans against the kitchen counter, covering her mouth with her hand as she yawns for the umpteenth time since arriving home from work and Andy finally caves in, insisting that she goes to bed.

After a little back and forth between the married couple, she agrees, dragging her feet over to the stairs and up to the master bedroom. She passes the bathroom, peeking in to find you with Jacob, assisting him with the teeth brushing. She smiles contently, eyes drooping before she finally makes it into her own space. 

She goes through her usual nightly routine. Skincare, teeth, mouthwash, toilet. 

She can barely even register her feet taking her toward the bed until she’s lying down with her head resting on the comfortable pillow. Dream land pulls her under in no time.

Meanwhile, you’re just tucking Jacob into his bed and pulling out a bed time story to read to him, one about a hungry hungry caterpillar, one of your favourites from when you were younger. 

Nostalgia hits you heavily.

Once Jacob drifts off and you quietly tip toe out of his room, the sound of the tv alerts you. You reach the bottom of the stairs and spot the tv on with Andy on the couch and as you get closer, his head turns and his eyes fall upon you in your little pastel blue sundress, the outfit he’s only just noticing now. Your bare feet shuffling along the floor as you pad toward him. You glance down at the couch, your eyes asking for permission to sit down next to him, which of course he grants.

“I cleared up by the way and Laurie has gone to bed early” he states, biting into his plump pink bottom lip before turning his attention back to the old black and white movie that he was watching before you interrupted. 

“Thank you” 

“I should be the one thanking you”

Almost as though the two of you are in sync, you both glance over at the other before turning away, both of you clearly embarrassed for your eyes to have met like that. Or was it nerves that filled your stomach? Butterflies perhaps?

Oh you don’t know what it was, but you kinda liked it.

Did he get that too? 

Wait no, Y/N, he’s married to Laurie. He doesn’t see it as anything more than a work relationship. You’re simply here to do him and his wife a favour, that’s all.

But surely he got nervous too? Or even embarrassed, you felt something, saw something, in his eyes. In that brief second you looked into them.

You shrug it off before opening your mouth to respond “how come?”

“You’ve done so much for us already. You’ve been so good with Jacob, It’s nice to have someone who wants to be here, someone who isn’t just here because they are getting paid to be. Plus, Laurie really appreciates the extra pair of hands, as do i of course” he lifts the beer in his hands up to his lips - one you didn’t even notice he had - and he takes a rather large sip.

“Well, when you grow up with hardly any money, you learn to not care about it as much as others seem to. You learn that material things don’t mean anything” you feel your vulnerability showing but you feel so comfortable around him, and that’s probably why you didn’t even try to stop yourself from unveiling such a dark part of your life, a part you’ve spent years shielding away.

Instead of talking over you or asking more questions, he just sits there in silence with his legs spread open and sprawled across the couch, allowing you to continue if need be.

“My father abandoned us so my mom had to work 3 jobs, we’ve lived pay check to pay check my entire life and we still do now. All of her spare change, and the majority of her money went into savings for myself and my brother to be able to afford college one day and i guess she saved enough for him to go to med school, just not quite enough for the college of my choice. I ended up with community college”

He goes to speak up but you stop him in his tracks. Here it comes, the pity.

“But it’s okay, seriously. I don’t mind the sacrifice. College is college right? I can study anywhere, life is what i make it. No one can stop me but me”

Andy feels his heart ache, a warm feeling settle inside of him as he watches you in complete awe. There’s a lot more to you than he had ever anticipated or expected. You’re brave, strong and selfless. You sacrificed your dreams for your brothers, so that he could go to med school. 

A familiar feeling threatens to drown out his body, leaving his soul barely floating before he prevents it by clearing his throat.

“You always put others first” he says it like it’s an observation more than a question but you can tell it was supposed to be the latter. He’s great at picking things up, however, it seems as though he’s assuming that you actively choose to put yourself last. When in reality you do it without realising. Growing up the way you have, you learn that your needs are not always top of the list. 

“You say it like it’s a bad thing”

“It’s not, not when you acknowledge your own needs once in a while. But i get the feeling you don’t even do that, let alone having an understanding of what you actually need” he whispers, so matter-of-fact that you feel rude for ignoring yourself for all these years. 

When was the last time you actually did something for yourself?

When was the last time you allowed yourself time to breathe or deal with the bad cards that you were dealt?

Never. That’s the answer.

“I don’t even realise i’m doing it most of the time. I don’t know how to stop something that i do subconsciously”

More silence. 

Silence that seems never ending, but it’s far from awkward. Just comfortable. Deep chats at god knows what time of night with an older and not to mention attractive man, how did you get here?

It feels so easy with him, so natural. You don’t have to try too hard like you do with guys your age, it’s a nice change that’s for sure. And without Andy agreeing verbally, you can sense that he feels the same. 

Tense shoulders, tired eyes and constant yawning, the man is the epitome of a workaholic, he must not get much of a chance to connect with friends. He lives, breathes and sleeps his career, as does Laurie. 

It makes you stop and think, how do they ever make time for one another, let alone their son if they are constantly on the go? They must struggle to have any time for themselves that doesn’t involve family dinners or the occasional weekends that are free of paperwork filled tables and ridiculously early mornings that are simply habit. 

No lie in’s, no quality time together. Just work, eat, sleep, repeat. 

Maybe with you being around now, you can change that for them, just maybe.

That’s a suggestion for another day.

Shit! There you go again, putting everyone else above yourself. 

When was the last time you relaxed, like truly relaxed? Before you got this job would be the correct answer.

Maybe they will allow you nights off to hang out with your best friend.

“You should really start taking better care of yourself” he starts, finishing up his beer before placing it onto the coffee table in front of the couch “though we do appreciate your help, a lot. Thank you, for everything today”

You find yourself unable to contain your yawns a second longer as you wipe your eyes, drowsiness creeping up on you.

“Jacob is a lovely kid, it’s a pleasure to be around him. He’s a real credit to you and Laurie” and with that you shuffle off of the couch, stopping in front of it for a minute.

“But i appreciate your gratitude. And i’m thankful too, for the opportunity. Anyway, i have lots of work for college to get started on tomorrow, so i better get some sleep”

A nod your way lets you know that he’s fine with you heading off early and as you’re halfway to your door, you hear a raspy “goodnight” coming from the lounge.

Without even so much as a turn of your head, you respond, voice barely above a whisper “goodnight, Andy”

-------------------------------------------

Waking up in your bed, you let out a heavy deep breath before sitting up and reaching for your phone to check it. 

You’ve been staying with the Barbers for two weeks now and it finally feels like your home too. You’ve all fallen into a routine, it took a while but alas, you’re here.

Jacob is getting more used to having you around now, when you pick him up from Kindergarten, he runs to you with the biggest smile on his little face, it really gives you that broody feeling to want kids of your own. 

Balancing your new job in between classes has been difficult to say the least but it works, surprisingly. Plus Andy and Laurie do their bit to craft aspects of their schedules around yours so all is well in your world right now.

You’ve even made time to head home to see your mom next week, you can’t wait, it’s hard not seeing her and Thomas every day, which is probably an understatement, but you’re trying your hardest to make time for them. 

Thomas has been swamped with classes all week, so you’ve only been able to speak on the phone with your mom so far. However, he does have a day off next week, the day that you’re going back. It’s only a 15 minute drive give or take so it’s not like you’re on the other side of the world. 

As soon as you enter the kitchen, there’s nothing but a painful silence gracing your ears. Where is everyone? 

You continue on with making breakfast, trying not to rack your brain about the location of Andy and Laurie. Jacob doesn’t have kindergarten today and you had plans with both Andy and Laurie to take him swimming with all of you, so they could witness his new swimming skills. 

Yet, the house is empty and way too quiet for your liking. 

Then out of nowhere you hear a car engine rev outside and seconds later, Andy enters through the back door in the kitchen. Wearing dark blue jeans with a belt keeping them in place on his hips, a casual black shirt and open zip up jacket cover his torso, he looks good. His hair is still styled to perfection, as it always is.

“I was beginning to wonder if you’d all ditched me” you state as you pour yourself some cereal before picking up the carton of milk. 

You instantly shove the spoon into the bowl before moving it into your mouth, barely giving the frosted flakes a second in your mouth before you repeat this action. Hunger isn’t the word, you are starving. Which makes absolutely no sense since you ate more than enough at dinner last night.

“Not at all, just popped out to get some supplies” he holds up the paper bag, drawing attention to it before placing it on the kitchen counter. 

“Laurie is in the shower, and Jacob is in his room playing”

Without realising it, you head toward the bag to peek inside. There’s tampons, pads, chocolate and ice cream. 

He headed out for period supplies for Laurie? That is the cutest thing, if you ever saw it.

“Laurie needed period supplies” you observe out loud, before widening your eyes. 

Since when did periods become such a taboo subject?

“I...i actually got them for you” your heart skips a beat as you freeze, cereal bowl in your hand and the contents inside going soggy the longer you leave them.

Although you try to respond, you can’t. You’re stuck. It’s not only sweet that he thought of you but you feel a tinge of embarrassment about it. He’s a man and he was out buying tampons for you, did he not get embarrassed too?

“You didn’t have to do that, honestly”

“I wanted to. Plus i noticed a lot of the tell tale signs regarding menstruation. So i wanted to be prepared, i want you to feel comfortable here” your eyes avert his piercing blue gaze and suddenly you feel itchy, like you want to move out of this room now without coming off as rude. But you’re frozen to your place, unable to even attempt it.

A wave of heat rushes to your sex, as though the notion of him caring turns you on. 

Wait... does it?

Is that what this is? Lust, mindless crushing? Maybe that’s what it is and it’s completely one sided. 

Still, you can’t help but feel the 50/50 balance, that maybe he’s in it too. To the best of your knowledge, Laurie hasn’t been giving him affection, not since you arrived here two weeks ago at least. Sure, she kisses him, smiles and looks at him as though he is the only man on this earth, like all the other men are a blur.

And sure he seems to be the same with her, the way he holds her waist when she kisses him goodbye in the morning. It’s filled with love, want and need. But there’s something there, something underlying or should you say...something that’s missing.

All of a sudden, shame fills you. What are you even doing? Playing around with fire so recklessly like you won’t get burnt.

It’s just an innocent crush, you defend yourself in your head. He’s nothing but a little crush, a crush that will soon fade over time, you’re certain.

“Thank you” 

He smiles subtly, reaching into the bag to retrieve the ice cream so that he can store it in the freezer and whilst his back is turned, you rush off to the safety net of your room. 

Once the door is closed, you sink to the floor, mortified.

He got you period products for christ sake and there you are, crushing on him. It’s clear the fatherly instinct in him was what caused him to do that yet you took it a different way.

This is dangerous territory now, very dangerous.

In the two weeks that you’ve lived with the Barber family, you’ve had numerous run ins with Andy, awkward ones where he’s seen you in ways that he shouldn’t have. For example, the many times he’s seen you in a small, barely there, white towel after your showers. Or the times he’s brought your laundry into your room for you, only to realise that the top of the pile contained a small heap of your racy underwear. Moments where your eyes lingered a little too long on his, moments where you’d watch his eyes acknowledge your body every time you see him, his tongue always darting out to wet his lips as he bites his bottom one seductively without realising and although these moments are small, very small in fact, they still occur. 

You’ve not had much experience in the dating world or had much chance to flirt with guys, so you have no idea how much you’re reading into this. But still, the two of you seem a little too close for comfort. And what’s worse is that, you like it and you know you shouldn’t.

So far in your twenty years on this earth, you’ve only ever had one encounter with a guy, if you could even call it that. 

His name was Kyle, you met him during your senior year at high school but that romance was very short lived. You never slept with him, you refused to give it up to him, such a special part of you shouldn’t be wasted on just anyone. And he wasn’t worthy enough.

You can recall the time you found out he had been texting your friend Lucy, you can recall being hurt by it. You kind of expected it though, as terrible as that sounds. He was a big fuck boy when you met him, in fact he was that way long before that. 

During the days leading up to him asking you out, he was all over you like a rash, continuously making plans to see you, texting you and always making sure he prioritised you. Then when you said yes to being his girlfriend, things slowly changed as the days went on. 

Looking back in hindsight, you can see that you held back for a reason, there was this feeling in the back of your mind about him possibly betraying you. Your gut instinct had let you know so early on, something that you tried to ignore. 

And with that comes the reminder that you avoided losing your virginity to him. It’s given you the chance to find someone special, someone that you will truly love.

Maybe that’s why you’re crushing on Andy, you want what him and Laurie have, you want a man that treats you that way, you want that intimacy and to feel loved. So far since living with him, he’s treated you with nothing but respect. His kindness is clearly being mistaken for flirtation in your mind and it’s something you should really try to block out.

When you spend so long being rejected and being that one girl who can never have any luck with guys, you crave it. And that’s totally all that this is. Like you’ve said, this is a crush and it’ll fade over time.

Eventually, you come to the realisation that you have to leave your room at some point, you can’t hide in here for ever. Well, you could but it’s not practical, especially since you’d need food and to pee and shower too. Dammit, you have to pee now.

You take the time to gather some clothes to change into before carrying them with you as you leave your room. 

Andy is just coming down the stairs as you ascend them and the two of you pause, eyes meeting awkwardly. Another moment.

“Laurie doesn’t feel so good, so it’ll just be the three of us for swimming” he informs you and now all of the healthy reasoning or should you say excuses that you made in your head about your developing crush have vanished. 

How are you supposed to avoid it and let it fade if you’re going swimming with him. Seeing him in swimming shorts is not going to be good for you, especially since then you’ll see him shirtless. 

Maybe you should quit this job, maybe it’s your only option.

Andy can spot your hesitation a mile off, his eyes look away first, leaving you relieved. 

“Of course, we don’t have to. I’ll just go tell Jacob. We can always do it another day when Laurie is feeling a lot better”

But by not going, Jacob will be let down. He’s been excited to go swimming again since you took him that first time. He’s been banging on about showing mommy and daddy his new skills in the pool. How’re you supposed to agree to not go when Jacob has been looking forward to it? How’re you supposed to let him down like that?

Exactly, you’re not.

By the time your eyes focus again, Andy is heading over to the kitchen.

“Wait, Andy” you catch up to him and agree to still go swimming, realising that you’re here to do a job and how could you ever take money from this family if you aren’t withholding your half of the bargain?

He flashes you an understanding look before putting the bowl away that you used for breakfast whilst you spin around on your heels and head back up the stairs to shower. 

You at least need alone time to prepare for the day ahead. Especially since you’re going to be spending the entire day with the DILF Andy Barber. 

You just need to be careful about how you act around him, you can’t flirt, you can’t think about him as anyone else other than your boss. He pays you, that is all. Nothing more, nothing less.

Ugh, this day is going to be a long one, exhausting too.

After showering and changing, you then make a start on packing your bikini and towel as well as your swimming glasses and flip-flops for around the pool and changing rooms.

As you step out of your room, Jacob is sitting on the stairs whilst Andy puts on his shoes for him. However, Jacob is proving to be a difficult one to work with as he sways around, kicking his legs out and almost hitting Andy in the face. Nevertheless, Andy continues to try until both shoes are on his feet and done up correctly. 

He then rises to his feet, looking up to find you in high waisted shorts and a tank top with plain old chucks on your feet.

His eyes give you the once over before gesturing toward the door. 

“Ready to go?”

“Ready”

You stop in front of his car, waiting next to the back seat but before you can get in, he stops you.

“You can sit in the front if you like, Jacob always sits in the back due to his car seat” he explains and you nod before moving toward the passenger side door and opening it. Andy takes your swimming bag from you as he reaches into the drivers side and he moves it into the trunk of the car along with his and Jacobs bags.

This is such a nice car, you can’t help but look around and observe the swanky leather seats, you even wiggle your bum in your place to feel how comfortable they are. This is way too fancy, especially for you. You’ve never been in a car like it. Even when you first saw it, you realised just how out of your depth you were. 

When Andy returns he quickly glances at you and as your eyes focus on the front of the car, you can feel the delicious burn of his piercing blue gaze. But you refuse to give in and look back so rather than waiting for it, Andy belts up and reverses off the drive.

You occasionally side eye him, noticing the way he uses one hand to grip the steering wheel and also how casually he sits in the drivers seat. He’s man spreading and since it’s an automatic car, you can see him struggling on where to rest his free hand. Perhaps he usually rests it on Laurie’s thigh and now you’re in the passenger seat, he knows he can’t do that so he’s deciding on another option. But instead he just rests it on his own thigh, his hand is bawled into a fist and when you look up to find his jaw clenched with him occasionally biting down on his lip, you can sense that he’s conflicted about something. You’re just not sure what.

Perhaps he’s worried about Laurie since she’s sick and at home alone or maybe it’s just work stuff. Yeah, you’ll go with that. 

The drive to the pool isn’t too long, thankfully. And before you know it, Andy and Jacob are heading into the mens changing rooms, whilst you head into the ladies. 

With a quick “see you out there” from Andy, you disappear to change into your bikini. 

You wore a one piece for the first time with Jacob but today you wanted to switch it up. The bikini you packed is plain black and the bikini bottoms cover your ass cheeks modestly. 

You slip your feet into your flip flops and lock your things into the locker you were given before heading out. Andy and Jacob are already in the pool when you arrive and you call out to them to catch their attention.

The moment Andy looks up, as he’s sliding his wet hair back and out of his face, his jaw drops. You can see that he’s embarrassed by the way he closes it almost instantly before waving you over. 

You kick your flip flops off and place them by the side of the near empty pool and step into it by walking down the stairs. There are a couple of other people here, mostly older men but you don’t pay them any mind. You’re here for Jacob only. Not even Andy staring at you continuously will put you off.

But then you remember that you’re staring at him and the small slither of his chest that you can see. God he looks so broad. The small amount of chest hair decorating his pecks is heavenly to say the least. 

You really need to cut this out but it’s so hard to stop when he looks this good.

It’s torture. You’re a young woman, just entering your 20′s, you’re bound to have crushes, to want things. But right now, what you’re starting to want, you know you can never have.

Rather than trying to overthink this little bump in the road that seems to be bugging you currently, you push all things regarding Andy Barber and feelings to the back of your mind as swim closer to Jacob.

The second you stepped out of the changing rooms, Andy noticed the men next to him and Jacob looking up at something and when he followed the whispers and stares, his eyes landed on you too. They almost fell out of the sockets as his blue orbs coasted across the curves of your body, the way your breasts fill out the black bikini top and as you turn with your back facing him, he notices the perky globes of your ass. 

And right now, he’s thanking the lord that he’s hidden away in the pool seeing as each second that passes, he’s getting harder and harder for you, painfully so.

You’re the only woman in the pool as of right now and as much as he likes that, he also cannot stand the way these men are ogling you and treating you like a piece of meat. At the same time, you’re a young woman in the best years of your life, this is the age for you to get out there and explore the world of dating and sex. 

The thought of you with another guy who will more than likely be your age though, is something that without him realising it, has his jaw clenching out of jealousy.

What the fuck is going on with him lately?

You’re his sons nanny. His wife hired you to help out and he’s paying you for it, yet his mind is all over the place.

Thoughts of you naked fill up every empty space in his brain until he shakes his head to shake the thoughts and once you approach him and Jacob, they leave... for now that is.

“So Jacob, you ready to show your daddy what you can do?” you question, resting your hands on your hips underneath the water as you look at Jacob, keeping your eyes off of Andy for as long as possible. 

“Yes, Daddy, go wait over there” Jacob instructs, bossing Andy around by moving him back a little, which he obliges. He scoots back a couple inches, watching as you help Jacob go over it again with you holding him before you back up too.

You move a little further back before bumping into someone and when you turn around, an older man smiles back at you.

“Oh, i’m so sorry” you feel bad, you moved back so fast, it must have hurt him. You feel his hands grip your waist out of habit to move you out of the way.

“You’re okay, sweetheart, no harm done” 

Andy watches warily, ready to intervene if need be but as you smile awkwardly and step away, he can see you managed to handle it pretty well on your own. Those men watching you were clearly looking for any excuse to touch or talk to you and as they step out of the pool and disappear into the changing rooms, a deep breath Andy had no idea he was holding in escapes. 

Everything is so complicated.

“Daddy daddy” Jacob shouts across to Andy who snaps out of his own little world to respond to his son.

“Yes, buddy”

“Did you see?” 

Fuck.

“Yes, i did buddy. Well done, can you do it one more time for me?” 

You make your way over to Andy who’s eyes are fixated on Jacob as he splashes around wildly, making his way to his dad. The scrunched up expression on his face is too funny to not laugh at and you can’t help but feel so proud of him too. You’ve only known him for two weeks so far but he’s become like family to you. 

All you see when you look at him is Caden, it’s a familiar and sweet feeling. 

When you’re around Jacob, you believe more in kids being the best future, that they will be the ones to turn this shitty god forsaken world around. He’s so clever, without even realising how clever, he does it so effortlessly. He even puts you to shame and you’re twenty with four years of high school behind you, though you were quite smart, you feel as though by the time he reaches high school, he’ll be smarter than anyone in his class. 

As Jacob reaches yourself and Andy, the two of you clap for him, cheering him as Andy picks him up and spins him around, splashing water all over you. You let out an over exaggerated groan to catch Jacob’s attention before you splash him back,

He just throws his head back as Andy holds him up whilst the two of you go back and forth until Andy joins in and before you know it it’s you vs them.

The joyful laughter and ear to ear smiles makes you forget about the thoughts you were having previously about Andy and you start to realise, this is just a silly crush. It was bound to happen being as you’re young and he’s an attractive man but it’ll fade away, you’re certain.

After the little splash war comes to an end, you then proceed to relax in the pool just the three of you. 

Jacob starts to wave his arms around as he tells the two of you about his friends at kindergarten or more specifically, one of the girls. Her name is Jessica, Jacob says she keeps trying to hold his hand but he keeps telling her no by pulling away. 

Andy starts to tease him that she has a crush on him and you shove him playfully “leave the boy alone, he’s too young for a girlfriend, ain’t that right Jacob”

The six year old nods again as he scrunches his face up “girls are gross”

Typical response for a boy his age. He’s got his entire life ahead of him to figure dating out, for now he’s six and way too young.

An older woman swims up to where you’re all floating and as Jacob moves abruptly, some water hits her face.

“Jacob” Andy warns, floating closer to him to keep an eye out, his hand accidentally brushing the small of your back as he moves past you, a shiver runs down your spine and you shudder. He clearly feels it because he moves his hand almost instantly, but he refuses to meet your eyes. Your attention is soon draw back to the old lady anyway.

“Oh no need to fret, dear. He’s alright, how old is he?”

“Six” yourself and Andy respond in unison before you giggle and look down, Andy joins.

“Oh, still a young little thing. Are you learning to swim?” she addresses Jacob.

“Yes, i’m showing daddy how i doggy paddle” 

“Well, that’s quite the achievement isn’t it. And how long have you two been together?”

Why do older people poke around more? And more importantly, why do they feel inclined to know more, it’s none of their business. Still, you keep your mouth shut. Luckily, Jacob answers before Andy can.

“Y/N isn’t my mommy, she’s my nanny. My mommy is in bed at home, sick” he responds so confidently that you realise, you can’t be seen flirting with Andy, especially not in front of Jacob. He’s a smart kid, and he’s bound to pick up on things.

“Oh, silly me. My bad. I saw two adults with a kid and assumed, i do apologise” she waves herself and her mistake off like it didn’t happen before swimming away from the three of you.

The thoughts that roam your brain are the same ones roaming Andy’s too. 

One question in particular bothers the two of you the most though....

Does that mean you look like a couple?

Surely if she said it, it must have looked that way. Sure, she excused it away as her just assuming because of how you were both with Jacob but you can’t fight that she saw something the two of you currently don’t.

But as you call it a day on the swimming and head into the changing rooms to shower, dry off and change, you dismiss it. Neither one of you aware that you’re on each other’s minds.

You’re the first one to exit the changing rooms and you know that it won’t be Andy holding you up, it’ll be Jacob. Looking back on your first experience going swimming with the six year old, you know that he’ll probably be hyper right now and wanting to get back into the pool. So you take a seat in the waiting room and use your free time to pull out your phone and respond to some texts. 

10 minutes pass and there’s still no sign of Andy or Jacob, wow, he must really be playing up today. A quiet chuckle escapes as you think about Jacob running Andy ragged. There’s just something about an older man like Andy trying to tame his son. It’s both endearing and hilarious. 

By the time you’re all caught up, Andy and Jacob shuffle out of the changing rooms and toward your table. Andy looks exasperated, you take one look at his expression and bite the inside of your mouth to stifle your laugh. He notices and flashes you a look that screams ‘don’t ask’ so you avoid voicing your thoughts. 

Instead the three of you make your way back out to the parking lot to Andy’s fancy car, whilst Andy places your bags in the trunk, you take it upon yourself to get Jacob situated in his car seat before taking your own place in the passenger seat. Andy gets in, taking one look at yourself and Jacob before pulling out of the spot. 

Your eyes linger on him for a beat longer than they should and you find yourself admiring every part of his face, from his pushed back hair to his full beard and even the light freckles that dust his pale cheeks. 

Push it away, push it away, push it away.

--------------------------------------------

It’s been two days since the trip to the swimming pool and all that you’ve been able to think about is Andy. 

It feels weird being around him, acting normal when the atmosphere is far from it. Or at least that’s the way it is in your mind. You feel tense, awkward and it’s like you’re going insane. 

What do you do when you feel a crush developing at a rapid pace with no options to stop it in its tracks? 

What do you do when you’re a twenty year old young woman crushing on an older man, a man who is not only married but he’s also a father too. A father to a kid that you’re getting paid to look after. 

It’s all so very complicated and messed up and you can’t even think straight, you’re bound to get dizzy from this tangled web unless it ends soon.

If you can just avoid being alone with him, you’re sure everything will be okay, but that’s easier said than done. 

If all else fails you’ll just have to quit, but that’ll be a last resort. You won’t turn to that unless it becomes too difficult. There are ways around it, you’re sure.

Andy on the other hand is laying wide awake in bed while Laurie is sound asleep. According to the alarm clock on his night stand, it’s 2:35am, way too early for him to be awake. But he just can’t get a moment’s rest, not with you downstairs.

All he can think about is that woman the other day, the way she assumed you two were a couple. He wasn’t affectionate towards you so what made her think that? He knows that she excused it away as her just assuming since you both had Jacob with you but there was nothing there to show that you were a couple.

Whatever it was, he’s trying to push it away.

Sure, he likes you, you’re great with Jacob, you’re a sweet and smart young woman, you’re also very attractive. But you’re way out of his league and he’s married.

He just has to avoid you, at all costs. He can’t put himself in a position where he’s alone with you, just incase this little silly crush or whatever it is, grows. But then again, it could just be a little fantasy of his, a younger woman who’s body is utter perfection, who’s breasts are globes of heaven. 

Fuck. 

Stay away. He has to.

He loves Laurie, he fancies Laurie, no one else. 

And no one is going to get in the way of what he’s built here with her, not even you. He makes a mental note to himself in his mind, to spend more one on one time with Laurie, they’ve abandoned each other lately and it’s time they made each other a priority in their busy lives.

Jacob is growing up and the more he does, the more he notices. He’s not stupid and Andy would hate for his son to suspect that his mom and dad don’t love each other. So it’s time he shows his son just how much he adores his mother.

The next morning you’re awoken with a knock at your door and after adjusting your eyes to the light pouring into the room, you call out.

“Who is it?” your croaky morning voice earns you a chuckle from whomever is on the other side of the door.

“Andy”

The skin on your body is suddenly covered in goosebumps as it warms and your heart rate picks up, beating against your chest rapidly.

“Come in” you invite, watching as the handle on the door turns before opening to reveal him.

His sleep clothes still on, his hair a mess and his biceps flexing without him realising as he steps in.

“I just wondered if you had any plans for tonight, you know since it’s a Saturday. But if you don’t, do you mind helping me get some alone time with Laurie?” his question has you sitting there in complete silence, thinking. Even Andy looks awkward asking you this, like he thinks he’s over stepping a employee/employer boundary. Which he kind of did, you know that was code for sex and judging by the expression on his face, he does too. The embarrassment is clear. Whereas your jealous is kept well hidden, away from anyone to detect.

This is what you wanted though, right? To help them spend more time together. However, that was two weeks ago. A lot has changed and as selfish as it is, you don’t want to help them fall even more in love. 

Maybe it’s your discontent for love, for men, for happiness. Because all you’ve known are fuck boys and let downs. Hell, even your own father was a dead beat. 

But Andy seems different. No, he is different. He’s got a heart of gold, he’s beautiful inside and out and that’s just what you’ve learnt thus far, you’re bound to find out more as time goes on and that only excites you. However, the realisation that you promised yourself you’d stay away from him is hitting hard.

How are you supposed to even keep up with that when you live with him? It’s not going to be easy and you don’t even know if you have it in you to stay away.

“Sure, i mean i had plans to go out to dinner with my friend but i don’t mind moving it to dinner at her place so that Jacob can come with” you make a mental note to call your friend once Andy leaves.

“Only if you’re okay with that? I’d hate to get in the way of your plans but Laurie has been working so hard lately, as have i and we’ve barely had any time tog-”

“It’s fine, i’ll help out. After all, that is what i’m here for, is it not?” you smile weakly, barely even attempting to make it convincing “besides, i also have plans for Sunday, so i’ve always got then to socialise”

His expression comes off as though he feels uncomfortable as he backs away to the door, giving you a plain old nod “thank you, i really appreciate it” 

And just like that, he’s gone, closing the door on his way out and leaving you alone with an unfamiliar feeling coursing through your veins. Jealousy is a really ugly trait. You’ve never felt it this strongly or even at all, and now you fear you were too obvious, baiting yourself out by cutting him off so hastily. Would he have even realised? 

Oh well, it’s done now, there’s not a lot you can do. You’ve already agreed. To think he would have gone into more detail about his plans for his wife, had you not cut him off. It makes you feel sick. Andy with any other woman that’s not you makes you feel sick.

You feel irritation consuming you as an undeniable heat warms your chest, working its way up to the apples of your cheeks. A tinge of an ache rushes through your chest too, what the hell is happening? 

In an attempt to force it aside, you get up, gathering some clothes to change into after your morning shower before heading up to the second floor. 

You wash your hair and body quickly before stepping out to brush your teeth, wiping away the condensation on the mirror as you do so. 

The woman staring back at you in the mirror is in fact you, but there’s something different there, something new. A new found awareness for the things you want and they are becoming so crystal clear now as you analyse yourself.

Is running away even an option? Possibly but will you succeed? Who knows at this point.

You quickly change into some booty shorts and crop top before tip toeing out of the room and down the stairs, dashing your clothes into the hamper on the way out. You have no clue if Jacob is still asleep or not, but the house seems suspiciously quiet for him to be awake. 

As you reach the bottom of the stairs, Andy is just about to ascend them. 

The heavy atmosphere that cascades over the two of you leaves you needing to be alone and far away. But you can’t help yourself.

“Where are Laurie and Jacob?” you ask, straightening your posture as you tilt your head back to look up at him, his blue orbed stare is so demanding, as is his posture. He stands as though he owns the room and he wants everyone to look at him. And just like that, the feeling in your chest has returned, much to your dismay.

“Grocery store, he insisted on going with” 

Andy looks down at you, willing himself to keep his thoughts at bay, the reckless and filthy thoughts that would turn him into a sinner, the thoughts he shouldn’t think but still does. Thoughts of trailing the back of his hand over the skin of your arm, the skin that looks too soft not to touch. 

He’s in so deep. And he doesn’t have a way out or at least not a way out that doesn’t involve upsetting someone. If he gets rid of you, Jacob will miss you, as will Laurie and even he will. If he keeps you, he’s hurting his marriage. 

Looking at you in your booty shorts for the umpteenth time since you moved in two weeks ago along with a crop top is sending his head spinning and all rational thoughts are slowly escaping, he’s barely holding on to them.

“Oh, i was just about to ask her if i could cook lunch”

Goddamn you. Goddamn this crush.

“I’m sure she’d be fine with that”

“Great, i’ll get started now then. I’m making soup” 

He nods in approval, pursing his lips before allowing you to go on with your routine. But as you make your way to your room, you feel eyes on you. But just as you turn around, Andy is gone.

Weird.

------------------------------

It’s safe to say that due to the empty and not to mention big pot of soup that is sitting in the dishwasher currently, that your cooking went down a treat, yet again. And you gotta say, it feels good to cook for people, aside from your family.

Since you were always so certain of your mom and brother faking their content at your cooking, it’s nice to see they weren’t, that you can actually cook without poisoning people. You can officially call it a success. One less thing on the list of adult skills to master.

It’s now drawing closer to 6:00pm, the time that you arranged to meet your friend Claudia. Andy has been working tirelessly all day to make his night in with Laurie as close to perfect as possible while you’ve been re arranging your plans with Claudia. 

Luckily for you, she was more than okay with keeping things casual tonight and even sounded excited to meet Jacob, so it’s not too bad, you guess.

The two of you even made plans to play a couple games, she mentioned some old board games that she played growing up, they are still knocking about in her basement somewhere. The night has officially turned kid friendly, something that pleased Andy greatly. 

He continued to go on and on about how grateful he was for your sacrifice, even going as far as promising to pay for your plans tomorrow. You quickly shut that down though, since this is your job, you can’t really complain or refuse if they ask for your help. Besides, you already feel guilty for taking his money, despite the fact that he and his wife hired you.

You stand in front of your bedroom mirror, making the final touches to your make up since you decided last minute to add winged eyeliner to it. Definitely not the best decision, since the precision it takes to get both eyes correct is too much for your impatient self. Nevertheless, you manage to get it...eventually. 

With your make up as good as it’s gonna get, some high waisted black skinny jeans and a white short sleeved tee tucked in, you grab your black vans and head for the door. 

Andy is still running ragged to get Jacob all set to leave the house whilst Jacob is hyper and refusing to play ball.

“Jacob, how about we get our shoes on together?” you call out, catching their attention.

Once again, Andy gives you the once over before rising to his feet and disappearing into the kitchen to check on dinner.

Laurie is in the shower currently, completely unaware of the plans for the night and the efforts that her husband has gone to, all to secure some alone time and no doubt, some intimacy. 

The grimace that notion spurs on almost shakes your composure, but you manage to shake it as best as you can, telling yourself to let your crush go. You finish up tying your shoelaces before kneeling in front of Jacob to assist him with his own, making him laugh every time your eyes meet by making funny faces.

And now you’re officially ready to head to Claudia’s.

“All ready, bud?” Andy smiles, squatting down to Jacob’s height. He tickles him a little, causing the six year old to burst out into roaring laughter, falling back and bumping into you, your arms catching him just in time. 

“Daddy, that tickles” he grins, ear to ear. The sight warms you through and through. Just watching the two of them together, it’s a lovely sight. You feel a tinge of jealousy that Jacob has two parents to watch him grow up, to raise him. But it soon fades as Jacob looks up at you.

“Can we go now?”

“Sure thing, go and get your t-rex so we can show Claudia how cool it is” the excited kid runs off instantly, leaving you alone with his dad. 

You slip both hands inside of the two back pockets of your jeans “i’ll text you when we’re on our way back, to you know, give you some warning. Hope you have a good night” the feigned well wishes hurt to even say but you know that looking bitter won’t do you any good. 

You’d never stand a chance with him anyway and you know that, deep down. So it’s better this way, to help him keep the spark in his marriage alive, preventing any hurt in the long run, especially for little Jacob.

There are god knows how many guys out there, in that big wide world and some day one of them will be the man you end up with and in the grand scheme of things, that’s pretty special when you come to think about it.

The dating apps that Claudia has been pressuring you to download are seeming more and more interesting and the temptation to just give in and download them is too much. 

What do you have to loose by doing so? Exactly, nothing.

“Thank you again” he speaks the words so quietly that you almost miss them and as you glance at him one last time, you notice something, the meaningless thank you that he uttered seconds prior wasn’t what he wanted to say.

With words unspoken, you bid him goodbye before heading out to your car with Jacob and his t-rex, the same t-rex that he’s now named Tex. Originality never seems to lack when it comes to children, thankfully the name suits the dinosaur.

The drive to Claudia’s house isn’t too long, only ten minutes and the journey is filled up with mindless chit chat with Jacob as well as an added game of eye spy, transporting you right back to your childhood. It was a game yourself and Thomas enjoyed playing constantly. Even if you were just walking to school. You learned to get very creative, however, for the sake of Jacob, you’ve been taking it easy. Not that you’d ever question his creativity too because some of the things he’s spotting, you could never guess. 

By the time you pull onto her drive, Claudia is waiting outside, dramatically leaning against the porch door with a box of pizza in her hand.

As soon as you get out and help Jacob with his car seat, he runs to her.

“Are you Claudia?” he asks, wiping the back of his hand over his mouth, he’d had some water on the journey and he seemed to miss his mouth quite a few times, nothing new.

“I sure am, are you Jacob by any chance?”

“I am” 

“You like pizza?”

He nods in response, his eyes almost bulging out of the sockets at the hot box in her hands and as soon as she steps aside to let him in, you giggle at the brief exchange.

Tonight is going to be a lot of fun.

Meanwhile back at home, Andy is laying all of the food down on the table as Laurie walks down in jeans and a casual tee, the sight makes Andy’s heart beat faster. She could wear anything and he’d want her, he’ll always want her.

“What’s all of this? Where’s Jacob and Y/N?” her eyes scan the room as she pads closer to where Andy is stood. 

Candles decorate the kitchen and dining room table, lighting up the room beautifully and casting flame shaped shadows all over.

“Y/N has taken Jacob out for a couple hours, we got the place to ourselves” his romantic side is what Laurie has always adored about him, he’s never faltered when it comes to letting his love for her show. She’s never questioned if she’s good enough because he’s always been on hand to let her know she is.

After helping her into her seat and walking round to the other side, he reaches for her hand across the table. His soothing smile makes her blush a little, the candle lights only illuminating her milky white complexion that now has a hint of flushed pink on the apples of her cheeks. 

“It’s been way too long since we last did this” and she’s not wrong. Lately their time and focus has been on Jacob or work and it’s hectic to say the least, but he’s determined to keep things the same as they were when they first met. 

Before Laurie got pregnant with Jacob, everything was different. They’d wake up, fuck, have breakfast and get ready for work and then after work, they’d fuck before dinner. Maybe even adding a late night fuck before sleeping, it was constant. Now he’s lucky if he gets a kiss from her.

So tonight is all about bringing back that craving for one another, to remind each other of what they have, to prioritise each other again.

“It has, I’ve missed you Laurie, i love you” he leans across the table to capture her lips in a quick peck but before she can pull away, he’s hungry for more. Their lips move in sync and she can feel her body warming with a hunger that only he can fulfil. 

Once they break, Andy starts dishing up the dinner. Salmon with salad. Not the most romantic food on the planet, but it’s the thought that counts, right?

“I love you too, Andy” another kiss shared before the two of them dig in and start to converse over work and life in general. 

Laurie then brings you up, Andy stops eating the second your name leaves her mouth.

“She’s just so great with him, don’t you think? I just can’t get over how much Jacob adores her” her expression is one of contention, she’s satisfied.

“Let’s not talk about anyone else for now, i want tonight to be about us” he rushes to change the subject, grabbing a hold of her hand and lifting it up to his lips, kissing it softly, his lips a feather like brush against her skin. 

“Oh so that’s what this is about?” her tone mischievous, she knows what he’s craving and she’d be lying if she said she wasn’t feeling the same. It’s been too long since she felt his rough hands on her naked body, touching every inch.

“It’s part of it, i’ll admit. I’ve missed having you in that way”

His honesty seems to be boding well for his possibility to get laid tonight as Laurie shoots him a suggestive look before lifting the fork full of food into her mouth, taking the extra time to suck on the fork once all of it’s contents are gone. 

Andy licks his lips, his eyes darting back and forth from her eyes to her luscious lips before his teeth dig into his bottom one. 

Throughout the duration of the meal, the two of them continue on with the seductive actions and stares, the spark very much alive and thriving. All of this only leading to one place, one end game, their bed. 

But the two of them enjoy the flirtatious back and forth until it’s near enough impossible to retain themselves. Laurie rises to her feet, taking Andy’s hand in hers. And once he’s on his feet too she leads him up the stairs, refusing to waste a second longer on mindless conversation when they could be proving their love to one another. Actions speak louder than words.

As they approach the master bedroom, she lets a yawn slip, trying her hardest to fight the exhaustion creeping up on her, she wants to make this work with Andy, the marriage, having a kid and juggling their careers. And part of having a successful marriage includes that spark, that lust and love for one another. 

If they don’t have that anymore, then what do they have? A family, it isn’t enough sometimes if that deep seated love fades away.

Just before the bedroom door can be pushed open, Andy spins Laurie around, pushing her up against the wall softly before gripping her face and kissing her hard. His tongue slips into her mouth and she groans, surrendering to him.

As the kiss breaks she smiles, taking a hold of his hand again and leading him into the room. Another yawn escapes as Andy shuts the door before turning around to undress, expecting Laurie to do the same.

“God, you have no idea how long i’ve wanted you like this. I’ve missed your body so much” he whispers, unsure as to why he is but when there’s nothing but silence to fill the air, he turns around, just after discarding his shirt onto the floor. Only his expectations to find Laurie naked for him, instead she’s fast asleep on the bed, the buttons on her jeans are undone and he realises just how tired she must have been to knock out that fast.

Yet again, he’s left alone and hard.

He sighs, rising to his feet and heading into the bathroom for a shower. She’ll be out for the count until tomorrow morning now, great.

A shower in the guest bathroom, consisting of his hand wrapping around is erection, is all he has to keep himself going for another couple days.. at least. 

Sometimes he wonders if he’s a bad person, for getting frustrated when Laurie is too tired to sleep with him. But he is a man after all, a man with needs. 

But when do those needs become a deal breaker, If they aren’t being met? 

After towel drying, Andy changes into his usual sleep wear, loose pants and a plain old tee before turning off his night stand light and closing his eyes.

A loud bang in the other room alerts you that Claudia has most likely dropped something in the kitchen, the bang makes you laugh as a muttered curse word follows, expectedly. Jacob covers his mouth before covering his ears, knowing that he just heard language he shouldn’t have but finding it amusing nonetheless and the sight spurs on more laughter.

Once your flustered friend re appears, you raise your brows “language, Claudia” 

Jacob squeals before speaking “you said a bad word” 

A tut from you follows, leaving her to just shrug it off “didn’t you know, i have rage, and curse words are the only words that will suffice with that rage”

You roll your eyes before standing up to get ready to leave.

The night has been a lot of fun.

Filled with lots of food, sweets and laughter, it’s something you’ve been in need of for a while. Claudia isn’t always available, being that she works a full time job along with attending online classes for interior design, her schedule is always full. 

On this occasion, you managed to make plans and it’s been apparent all night that it’s something she’s been in need of too. With all of the stress on her plate, she needed a laugh, a night free of being in demand. Now you’re glad things worked out the way that they did, Jacob was a great addition to your night. He provided lots of laughing fits.

Still, you couldn’t seem to shake Andy from your mind. The possibility of his alone time with Laurie leading to sex fills up your brain torturously and as you hug Claudia goodbye before getting in the car, nerves suddenly consume you. 

What if you walk in on them getting freaky in the lounge, or the kitchen? 

What if you hear their lewd moans as you enter the house and Jacob hears too? It’s hardly appropriate.

That reminds you, you said you’d text Andy when you were on your way back. You pull your phone out to quickly send him a text before putting it away and waving goodbye to Claudia. She watches you reverse off of the drive before heading back inside.

The faint music of the radio fills the silence as Jacob’s eyes begin to droop. This is probably the latest he’s stayed up and according to the clock on the dash, it’s 9:30pm, way too early for even you to be tired. 

However, sleep is far from your mind for when you return home, you need to make some notes so that you can start your assignment tomorrow. It’s not due until next week but still, you like to be prepared. 

First things first though, you’ll need to get Jacob to bed.

The drive goes a lot quicker than the drive on the way earlier and you thank god for the traffic free roads. As much as you’re nervous as to what you’re about to walk into, you also know that seeing his face is something you’ve come to grow excited over, something you look forward to. 

His smile causes you to smile, it brightens your day no matter what is bugging you. Guilt forms, pricking at your skin incessantly, refusing to halt. 

It won’t stop the way that you feel though, at this point, nothing will. Although, that doesn’t necessarily mean you can act upon your desires. You can look, just not touch.

You struggle between holding Jacob in your arms and opening the door to the house but once you get through, you kick the door closed with your foot before heading up the stairs instantly. He’s still fast asleep in your embrace, not showing any signs of waking up so that you can get him dressed into his pyjamas so you throw away the routine for one night by taking off his coat and shoes and laying him down in his day clothes. You rest the duvet over him before leaving him to sleep. 

Now you just need to go and get some work done for your assignments, something you’re clearly looking forward to as you slump down the stairs, heading into your room to gather your laptop and notes before taking a seat at the dining room table.

Laying out all of your things and pulling out your pen, you get started.  The more notes you make now gives you less to do tomorrow and it’ll make your assignment easier to complete, hopefully. 

Seconds pass and those seconds turn to minutes until before you know it, there are ten minutes until it turns midnight, but you’re nowhere near done yet.

Your eyes start to droop and the yawns start to escape more often than not, letting you know your body is shutting down for the night, urging you to sleep. 

However, movement in your peripheral vision alerts you to look up. Once you do, Andy is shuffling into the kitchen, his gaze fixated on you.

“You’re up late” he observes, checking the time on the clock on the wall and you sigh, rubbing your temple in hopes to ease the pounding headache that’s been hassling you for the last hour. Staring at a screen for so long was bound to bring one on. That and the lack of fluids in your system.

“I have a lot of work to get done before i can start my assignment tomorrow” you respond, focusing your attention back onto your paper as you pick your pen back up, leaving Andy to turn his back to you. He pours himself a glass of tap water, turning around as he sips at it.

“Couldn’t sleep?” you ask, eyes refusing to look up. He makes you nervous, the butterflies filling up your stomach to the brim are evidence of that and you loathe it. The feeling of crushing on someone who is so unavailable is hard. 

You feel your grip on morality slipping with every glance your way, every time your name rolls off of his tongue effortlessly, every time he laughs, every time he breathes. You have to control yourself, though it won’t be easy and you’re learning that the hard way right now. As you can see without looking up, you know he’s leaning back against the kitchen counter, his stare still fixed on you. 

You feel your skin heating up from his powerful gaze, your cheeks warm and a rush of arousal hits you hard in your groin. 

This was always going to be dangerous, especially after that first meeting. Andy knew then that living with a pretty young thing like you would prove to be difficult. He just didn’t think it would be this difficult.

It would be easy to just blame it all on the lack of intimacy between himself and Laurie, too easy in fact. But is it just that? Is that the only reason or is he just realising he’s not at all the perfect family man he’s portrayed himself to be all this time? Is he finally realising he’s human, a human man tempted to dip his toes into a pool of sin. 

For now, he refuses to believe that this is anything other than a need to feel another’s hands on his skin, to feel something other than his own. To feel passion. He refuses to believe that he wants that with another woman that is’t his wife. 

“Could say that” he starts, sipping more of his water “so, how was your night with your friend, i hope Jacob wasn’t much trouble”

“Nonsense, he was golden. My friend adored him, we had a great time playing board games” 

The response earns a smile from him as he looks down.

“How about your night, did she love the food?”

“She did....” he pauses, sighing before speaking again “but my night wasn’t as exciting as yours, believe me” sarcastic undertones in his voice make you aware that something is underlying his words. He sounds frustrated but he’s trying to play it off.

“What happened?” your curiosity coming out to play, it’s probably a question you shouldn’t be asking, especially since he’ll most likely tell you about the intimate times they managed to have and you’re not sure you want to hear it.

Instead of responding, Andy, finishes off his drink, resting the glass in the sink before padding out of the room “it doesn’t matter, you’re busy and i’d hate to bore you with my problems. Goodn-”

“I don’t mind, honest. If you need to get some things off your chest, i’m here to listen” your offer, while tempting, isn’t something Andy can ever take you up on. You’re his employee, you work for him and his wife and the last thing he wants is to open up to you about personal problems regarding his marriage and sex life, or lack thereof.

But as he looks over his shoulder at you, hair falling in your face, pen between your fingers as you bite at your lip, he throws caution to the wind before turning back around and taking a seat opposite you. 

Seconds of silence pass before you put your pen down and focus all of your attention on him.

“Talk to me”

“I don’t even know where to start...”  his nervous chuckle alerts you of his hesitation.

“Start wherever you’d like to” you ease, trying not to push too far.

“I just don’t know where things went wrong. Well, actually i do. When we had Jacob. That passion we always seemed to have, it flowed naturally until it slowly but surely faded and as much as i try to get it back, she’s always either too busy or too tired. Hell, i even shipped our son off with you tonight, i bulldozed over your plans, just so i could be with her. And she was into it, god she was all over me. But the moment i started undressing upstairs, she was fast asleep. I just....” he sighs, bowing his head in shame for how he feels. He’s fighting himself.

On one hand he loves Laurie, he adores the bones of her. But it’s clear they are victims of busy schedules and there’s not a lot that can be done for that aside from putting their careers on hold temporarily. Which doesn’t seem like an option, being that Andy enjoys his job way too much to let it slip away, as does Laurie.

“You just what?” 

“I just don’t feel like she wants me, not enough at least. She shows all of the signs, but somehow work takes priority over me and it hurts. God it hurts, so fucking much. And i’m left wanting her, whilst she’s sleeping. I don’t know how much longer i can do this before i give up trying” his second thoughts on his marriage hurts your own heart despite you somehow thinking that it should please you.

He’s nearing a state of brokenness, he wants his wife, he wants passion and pleasure and love. And he deserves all of those things in buckets.

Most women would kill for a man like Andy, he’s handsome, kind hearted, a hard worker and a great dad. Sometimes he feels like he’s not quite good enough for Laurie, that maybe she settled for him because she got pregnant but then other times, she can’t get enough of him. However, in the last year, that has certainly lessened. And it confuses you, he’s a dream, the perfect man. Sure he has faults, who doesn’t at this point, but she’s not treating him the way that she should.

Despite busy schedules, surely she can make a little time for her husband, the man that has spent so many years loving her. And he still does, you can see it in his eyes. 

If he were to ask Laurie how she feels, you’re almost certain she’d feel awful for abandoning her marriage and she’d probably make it up. But Andy isn’t in a position to believe that right now.

The thought of him undressing, ready to devour his wife and make love to her only to be let down, it sends a shiver down your spine and not in a good way. It makes you want to be there to ease it for him, to be the one he makes love to That thought only makes you wonder how Andy makes love? Does he kiss as he thrusts inside of a woman, does he partake in foreplay, oral? Questions that roam without a chance of being answered.

You find yourself staring, without speaking in return, your head leaning on your clenched fist as he unleashes all of his woes onto you. Right here, right now in this kitchen, he doesn’t have to feel ashamed of how he feels, it won’t go past this point. Laurie won’t find out unless he wants her too and judging by the way he’s talking, he plans on telling her, just not yet.

“What?” his raspy voice asks, snapping you out of your thoughts and bringing you back to reality, to his blue orbs. 

“Hm?” 

“You’re staring, what is it?” 

“I don’t think my opinion matters, Andy. I’m simply listening and letting you get it off your chest”

“That only means you have something to say and i want to hear it”

Oh god!

“I dunno... it’s just if i had a boyfriend who looked as good as you and treated me like you treat Laurie, there’s not a chance in hell that i’d be able to keep my hands to myself”

You silently curse your honesty and his persistence to hear it as your eyes go wide at the realisation of what you just said.

“I mean, i can understand sparks fading over time but that’s when you put the work in and it’s not a job for one person to uphold, it’s on both of you” you continue, noticing his eyes changing, they turn dark as he looks over at you through his long eyelashes.

“I appreciate that, at least i know someone finds me attractive” his chuckle emanates low self esteem, clearly being rejected a lot by the one woman who’s supposed to want him has caused his confidence to take a huge knock.  

Clearing your throat, you speak up again “i mean, i don’t doubt that she loves you. It’s just... actually, ignore me. i don’t know what i’m saying”

Mortified by how much you’ve let slip tonight, you look away first before he can. It’s time to call it a night soon, that’s for sure. If you don’t, you’re bound to blurt out more confessions, which will make things worse for you in the long run here.

The awkward silence that fills the space causes you to continue with your work, determination hitting suddenly, you have to do anything but look back over at him and if you don’t concentrate on something else you’ll go insane.

The sound of his breathing switches from regular to shallow, he sounds nervous too.

“Anyway, i’m sure you’d much rather be out partying or hanging with some guy than sat here with me” his hushed laughter that escapes as he changes the subject, it makes you want to smile but you halt that in it’s tracks. Every time you think you can just let this little crush fizzle out, his face pops up, preventing it.

“Oh i don’t know about all of that, guys my age are jerks and i have literally nothing in common with them” you finally look at each other properly but as the stare intensifies, you choose to avert your eyes to focus your attention on the clock. Noting the time, it’s 12:30am.

The tension between the two of you is palpable, his stare reveals his thoughts and they match yours, you’re certain of it. His dreamy blue orbs tell you all that you need to know, they scream how he really feels, the things he wants to say but is holding himself back from saying. 

Unspoken words float around in the air, the elephant in the room.

“I better turn in now, i’m exhausted” you get up to go, stopping at the side of his chair briefly and turning to him “i’m sure if you speak to Laurie about all of this, she’ll understand. No one deserves to feel unloved or unwanted, especially not you” and with that you bid him goodnight, walking off to your room, leaving Andy hot and bothered and confused simultaneously.

If he wasn’t conflicted before, he definitely is now.

He leans back in his chair, the now empty table a resting place for his fisted hands, a loud and exasperated sigh falls into the room. He’s surprised you didn’t hear it and turn back around.

“....fuck” he mumbles.

-----------------------------

Another week has come and gone in the Barber household, it passed so quick that it’s almost as if you blinked it away.

All week long has been full of activities and yesterday you even did two in one day, leaving you exhausted. Jacob however, loved every second and his ability to remain energetic at pretty much all times of the day is astonishing. And since he has been nothing but golden for you all week, you promised him a treat... his choice was ice cream tomorrow. The kid makes great choices that’s for sure.

For now though, you’re stuck in the library at college, trying your hardest to help this information get into your head but it’s no use. All you can think about is Andy, it’s becoming near enough impossible to steer clear of him. Especially after that night, the night you decided to open your big mouth and expose yourself.

What sane person tells a guy they are crushing on that they wouldn’t be able to keep their hands off of him? Well, clearly you do. Idiot. 

Although nothing has changed between yourself and Andy, or at least not that you know of, you still feel so wrapped up in guilt that it’s preventing you from thinking clearly. 

When Andy enters the room, there’s a sparkle in your eyes, a warming feeling in your chest and a pool of arousal rushing to your sex. You’re starting to realise that fighting it is pointless, you’re still going to feel giddy inside every time he calls your name and you’re still going to go to bed every night wishing he was with you.

If only he were single, then maybe you’d stand a chance... or so you hope.

But he’s not single, he’s married and unavailable. 

He’s not married happily though.

The devil on your shoulder reminds you, urging you to make a move. But you could never live with yourself if you made a move on a married man. 

No matter the state of his marriage or where he stands with Laurie, you have a guilty conscience that would quite literally drown you if you even dared to tread the dangerous territory. You’d never be able to live with yourself, to continue working for Andy and Laurie whilst harbouring a secret so big. 

But you feel something between the two of you and you have done for a while now and with each day that passes - the sexual tension only builds, growing stronger, all of the silent and not to secret pining - your hands quite literally shake from holding yourself back from touching him the way you want to.

Would all of this magically go away if you just kissed him? Is all of this just temporary infatuation? Feelings that will fade away like the clouds do once you stop holding all of this in?

“Y/N, are you there?” you jump in your seat before looking up to find Billy, one of the guys in your business class. He rips you from your thoughts, not that you’re mad about it, you could really do with some reprieve from them, they are beginning to drive you crazy.

With your hand resting over your chest - as if somehow that will calm your rapid heart beat - you gesture for him to join you in hopes that you won’t end up regretting it.

“What are your plans for tonight?” he pries, leaning over the table to assess your work, but you quickly move it out of his view.

“Don’t go copying my work, Billy” you roll your eyes, knowing exactly just how he’s been managing to pass thus far in the year. He’s been cheating his way through, which only irks you. You’ve been working so hard, as have others in your class and Billy has practically skated through the year with little to no trouble.

“Tonight, where you at?”

“Working on my assignment, like you should be”

“How about you take a break from all of this...” he starts, closing your notebook on you despite you being in the middle of writing something down, causing you to glare up at him, your eyes could put him six feet under if you had that ability. It’s a crying shame that you don’t.

“And why would i take a break?” you look at him as though he just grew another head before chuckling.

“I’m throwing a party, the folks are away in Aspen until Monday, i’d love it if you could come” did he really just invite you to a party? You don’t even go to parties, he must know this since he’s tried to invite you before, you declined then and you plan on declining now too.

But as you contemplate the idea, you second guess yourself. You’ve been looking for a distraction from Andy, what if that distraction came in the form of a person, someone to take your mind off him perhaps? Even if it is Billy.

“You know what, why not? What time?” 

“9:00 ish” he gets up off of his chair, shooting you a wink as he says “see you later, sweetheart” the word causing your body to shiver. This is all for a distraction, it’ll be worth it when you forget about Andy.

The remainder of the day rushes by, you only had one more class left after free period before you got to head home. 

And the moment you step inside the house, you can hear Jacob in the lounge, chatting away to Andy. You poke your head around the corner to alert them of your presence, Andy turns to face you, a smile on his face. 

“Is the bathroom free, i need to shower?” you ask, politely. Andy gives you the go ahead before you rush off to start your getting ready routine. 

You quickly shoot Claudia a text, asking if she would want to join you but there’s no response so you’ll just have to check when you get out.

Leg shaving, hair washing, you’re really going all out for this party. But being as it’s your first party in a long time, you want to make an effort. You usually keep to your own circle of friends, sticking to what you know best, but maybe it’ll be nice for you to make more friends, expand your social circle a bit.

Once you’re done, you wrap a towel around your naked and wet body before realising that you didn’t bring any clothes with you to change into as you rushed up here so fast. Fuck.

Wiping the condensation off of the mirror, you assess yourself briefly, making sure you look fine before opening the bathroom door and heading down stairs. 

You barely even make it to the top step before you bump into someone... Andy.

Your body reacts to him naturally, knowing that it’s him without looking up. His large and rough digits dig into your waist without him realising, out of habit and using his grip to move you to the side.

“Sorry about that, i wasn’t looking where i was going” you rush nervously, almost stammering with your words. Thankfully you don’t.

“It’s okay, i wasn’t either” his eyes then rake over your exposed figure, a surge of confidence blindsiding you as you smirk. His clear approval for how you look in nothing but a towel and fresh out of the shower is so prominent, he’s failing at hiding it.

It’s nice to know that despite you never being able to have him, he still finds you attractive.

That’s something at least. 

You clear your throat to bring his attention back up to your eyes but as his head lifts, he rushes off into his bedroom, closing the door to block you out.

He can’t take this anymore, he’s losing it. He’s drowning in you and as much as he wishes he wasn’t in this predicament, there’s nothing he can do. He also can’t get enough of you, you’re perfect. 

The way that little towel barely covered you up, it was enough to get his cock hard and the second he felt it, he rushed off without uttering a goodbye. You must think he’s the rudest person ever, but you drive him so crazy that he can hardly hold it all inside anymore.

But whilst he’s panicking over how to make his erection go away, you’re changing into some high-rise hem flared dark wash jeans and you pair it with a white spaghetti strapped crop top, the end of it leaving an inch or two of exposed skin. Plain old white heels should go with that, thankfully you own a pair that aren’t too high but also aren’t to small either.

With heels, you’ve always said that a kitten heel or anything lower is not worth calling a heel. 

Make up wise, you opt for something simple, winged eyeliner, a light coat of mascara on your lashes along with some pink gloss on your lips.

By the time you’ve finished getting ready and drying your hair, it’s 6:00pm and you realise you were way too hasty with getting ready. You still have at least another four and a half hours. Everyone knows that parties never start when they say they do. It always starts around an our after the stated time. So as of right now, you’re all dressed up with nowhere to go.

So you decide you can just go and watch some tv for a while and even have some dinner here before you go, after all, it’ll line your stomach if you’re planning on drinking tonight. 

You leave your room, only to be faced with deafening silence. You check the lounge and the kitchen but there’s no sign of anyone. But as you make your way up the stairs, you hear shouting.

It’s Andy’s voice, followed by Laurie’s. 

Jacob’s bedroom door is closed and you knock quickly before waltzing in to find him sat with his legs crossed and his fingers in his ears.

Your heart breaks for him as you rush over to pick him up, holding him in your arms and carrying him down the stairs away from the commotion. 

“I’ll tell you what, Jacob. How about we go for ice cream tonight instead, yeah? Does that sound good?”

He purses his lips, humming before agreeing. You put him down onto his feet so that you can write a note for Laurie and Andy, letting them know that you’ll have Jacob home in an hour.

Then you get his shoes on and head out. Time for ice cream.

The ice cream parlour just around the corner was the first option when you googled ice cream on your iPhone. So you headed there instantly and the moment you step in, it’s dead, not another customer in sight. Great, more ice cream for yourself and Jacob.

“So why don’t you tell me about Kindergarten, how are you finding it?”

He shrugs, eyes wide as he scans the half a dozen tubs of ice cream sat behind the glass, just waiting for him to pick. His hands touch where the mint chocolate chip sits before he moves over to the chocolate fudge. So many flavours, so little stomach room.

“It’s alright. I prefer to play alone though” he’s so antisocial for a six year old and you don’t think you’ve ever related more to someone in your life. You can recall being his age, vaguely. All you really know is that you couldn’t stand being forced to socialise and play with kids that stole your toys, pushed you around and left you out continuously. 

In some ways you relate to Jacob, it’s nice to see a part of yourself in him. 

“I can relate. Kids are jerks, they don’t give you the space you need”

You smile politely at the cashier who’s holding an ice cream scoop ready for you to decide. 

“Two scoops of mint chocolate chip please” then you look down to Jacob who is mumbling to himself before glancing up at you “two scoops of chocolate fudge please” 

He claps as he watches the woman scoop his choice into the little tub as well as yours before slipping little spoons into them and handing them to you. 

You quickly pay before taking a seat inside of the booth in the corner, despite it being empty, you’d prefer a little privacy. 

“Nice choice buddy, tastes good huh?” you scrunch your nose up at him and he copies as he practically inhales the delicious frozen treat, getting chocolate all around his mouth, on his chin and even his t-shirt. Typical kid. 

Conversation turns to you as Jacob gets curious about what it is that you actually do.

“Well, i study business at college. I’d like to open my own business one day and it’ll help me prepare” you answer honestly and if you’re being even more honest here, you’d admit that you’ve never spoken to anyone about what you wanted to do after college. Not even your mom or brother. 

Because ultimately, it’s taken you a long time to figure out. But now that you know, you’re heart is set on it and no one can deter you from your end goal. 

The first step to getting your own business is feeling out what you excel at the most. But whilst you do that, advising others on how to go about things is something you can do while you figure everything out and you’re almost certain that everything will fall into place from then on.

The ice cream in Jacob’s tub is practically gone now and the evidence is smothered all over him. Once you finish yours up you grab a napkin and start to wipe his face clean but as you wipe, he speaks “Y/N, are my parent’s going to split up?” 

His question catches you completely off guard, you freeze in place for a second before continuing and pulling away from the inquisitive boy.

“I can’t guarantee that they won’t, but i also can’t say that they will. Life is unpredictable Jacob, anything can happen. But one thing that i do know is that, whatever happens, they love you so so much, okay? And you will always come first for them, no matter what” you move to sit beside him, pulling him into your arms as his eyes have that sad look in them.

When did six year olds get this grown up and mature?

You wrap up your little emotional moment before heading to the toilet to make sure the two of you properly clean up before making your way home and as you lock yourself in the cubicle to pee, your mind races back to overhearing Andy and Laurie’s argument.

You seem to recall her mentioning how tired she’s been, but his argument back was that you always make time for the ones that you love and it’s not even just about sex. He said she barely even wants to cuddle anymore in bed before they sleep, she’s getting less and less affectionate with him, something that you’ve noticed too. 

However, as much as it eases your guilt when it comes to your crush, you feel bad for her. She works full time and on top of that, she’s a mother. It can’t be easy and although Andy is Jacob’s dad, it’s a lot harder on the mothers most of the time. They feel this societal pressure to loose the baby weight and look perfect, to make time for working out, juggling a job and raising a kid and also sustaining a happy and healthy relationship with their partner and maintaining a clean household. It just can’t all be done, not all the time, not unless the woman is a robot.

So for Andy to yell at her, it’s unfair, but you can also see his side too. He’s a lawyer, one of the best assistant district attorneys in Newton. He’s at the top of his game, he works Monday to Friday, 8am until 6pm with the occasional overtime on the weekends. When everyone is in bed and he’s sat at the dining room table, doing the work of a paralegal as well as his own job too. Then on top of that he keeps Laurie sweet, always going the extra mile to get her flowers or to make her feel beautiful and then there’s Jacob too. 

As you pull up outside of the Barber’s house, Jacob yawns “can i go to bed now?” he asks and you have the right idea to check his temperature, he never normally suggests bed time. You must have really worn him out with that ice cream trip.

“Sure, let’s go get those teeth brushed and then i’ll read you your favourite book, sound like a deal?”

“The hungry hungry caterpillar?” you nod in response and suddenly he’s trying to undo the seat belt. 

You laugh before helping him and the second he’s free, he opens the car door, slowly getting out before shutting it and running toward the big red door.

“Wait for me buddy” you laugh all the way until you’re inside the house.

The two of you race each other up the stairs and into his bedroom where you declare him the winner of the race before helping him change into his dinosaur themed pyjamas.

Once he’s dressed for bed you guide him into the bathroom to brush his teeth,  his nice smelling toothpaste ends up all over him rather than in his mouth so you make a second attempt. Eventually succeeding.

With his teeth all brushed, his pyjamas on and his trusty Tex in his hands, he’s now tucked into bed and ready for his story.

You sit there on the edge of his bed, going the extra mile to tell him his favourite story the way your mom always told it to yourself and Thomas, complete with weird voices and hand movements.

Jacob laps up every word until the very end, holding back his yawns.

“Right, i’m gonna head out now but you promise to not let the arguing get to you. Everything will be alright”

“I will, thank you for the ice cream”

“You’re welcome buddy. Goodnight, sleep tight, and....”

“Don’t let the bed bugs bite” you say in unison.

He giggles before turning over onto his side and closing his eyes. You switch off his lamp before exiting his room and leaving his door open ajar, the way he always has it.

As you creak down the stairs, there’s not a single noise in the house aside from the faint noise of the television and as you poke your head around the living room door, you find Andy sprawled out, beer in hand as per usual.

“He’s in bed asleep now, so i’m going to head out. Don’t wait up, i have my key” you go to tip toe away, not wanting your heels to click against the hardwood flooring. 

But he calls you back “thank you for tonight, i didn’t want him to hear any of that so it means a lot that you took him away and i’m sorry you had to hear it too, it’s not ideal” his tone is laced with hurt and maybe even a hint of guilt is underlying. He must feel as though he’s to blame for the argument taking place, when in reality, he was just talking to his wife about his feelings, his worries. She didn’t like what he had to say and that’s blatantly obvious but it doesn’t mean he should have kept it all inside. 

Keeping things in only lead to more problems and the previous problems only expand into something more serious. It’s good that he spoke his mind and she had a right to know.

“It’s okay...” 

“No, it’s not” he corrects, reprimanding himself for his actions, when in reality, Laurie is just as much to blame as he is.

Neither of them are content in their marriage currently, but when you’ve been married as long as they have and have a kid, it’s bound to happen sooner or later, the rut. You’re just hoping they make it out alive, as funny as that sounds coming from the poster girl for off limits crushes.

Your thoughts are constantly corrupted by the bearded older man who you’d give anything to kiss, but you still want his marriage to work out. Either that or you’re trying way too hard to convince yourself that you do. 

What if you really are just fooling yourself?

Well, if that’s the case then it looks like you have a party to go to.

You unlock your phone to order an Uber before wrapping up your conversation with Andy.

As you look at him, his eyes drag down your perfect figure sinfully, stopping at each monument momentarily. First your lips, those dam lips will be the death of him one day, the way he can’t seem to get a grip on his self control each time he witnesses you biting down on your bottom lip. Next, your breasts. The curve of them filling up your provocatively styled top, the mere sight making his mouth water. And finally, your legs in those jeans, more dark lust fuelled thoughts of your legs draped over his shoulders as he buries his cock deep inside of you fill his brain and they are impossible to shake. You really are a sight to behold and now he knows, he wants you more than his wife.

“Listen, i understand you know. It’s hard. But you did the right thing by telling her about your feelings. You matter in this marriage too, it’s not just about her. In order for things to get better, they have to get ugly. You can’t move forward if you don’t air it all out”

Your phone pings, alerting you of your Uber driver’s arrival. 

“Go to your party Y/N. And have fun, okay”

With that, you leave the room before stopping at the doorway “Andy”

“Hm?” he turns to you

“Everything will be okay, you know, between you and Laurie”

“I hope you’re right” his optimism is fading, it’s sad. But the devil on your shoulder takes it as a sign for you to swoop in, to show him all that he’s been missing. You shrug her off, she can be a real bitch sometimes and you can’t be the one to break up a family. Especially not since you care deeply for everyone in it. 

“Bye, Andy” he doesn’t bother to return the farewell greeting as the heavy weight of his eyes peel away from you and return to the tv and all of a sudden you wish for his attention to return to you. How funny, when he does stare at you, you feel flustered and shy, but when he looks anywhere else, you feel bare.

Thoughts of Andy are suddenly replaced as you get into the Uber and nerves take his place. 

What do people even do at parties anyway?

Even before you reach the corner of Billy’s street, you can hear the heavy bass of the music, it’s almost like he’s asking for complaints from the neighbours to be honest but who are you to complain when there will be free beer and vodka all night?

And with the stress of your job, college work and your non solicited thoughts of a certain hot lawyer, you’re going to need a whole lot of alcohol to wash them away. Even if it is just for the night. 

The Uber driver, parks up, wishing you a good night as you step out, a comment that you return before realising that he’s probably going to be working most of the night anyway.

The human equivalence of going to the movies and telling one of the ushers to enjoy the movie too. Humiliation doesn’t have time to settle in though as your name is being called from across the way and once you turn around, Billy is stood on his front lawn, waving you over excitedly. His eyes rake over the curves of your figure, clearly shocked that 1) you actually turned up and 2) you look hot. 

That’s the beauty of being a very closed off individual, when it comes to showing your true self, you surprise a lot of people. At college, you avoid make up, fancy hair styles and clothes. Instead you opt for simple sun dresses, jeans or leggings with a messy up-do. It’s more convenient plus who goes to college thinking it’s a fashion show anyway? Apparently most of the girls at this party do as you recognise some familiar faces. 

Such as Stacey. You went to school with her and she spent the entire four years teasing you for not being rich. She glares your way, holding a red solo cup in one hand and her Prada handbag in the other and suddenly you feel like you’re back in high school all over again. Great.

You can’t leave now though, you said you’d see this through and you will. However, you don’t plan on staying long, a couple drinks and you’ll be done. 

That’s the plan.

Billy welcomes you in, instantly shoving a red cup filled with beer into your empty hand before you can even object. The moment you tip your head back, taking a big sip, the bitter liquid slides down with ease, warming your body in no time. 

“How about a game of beer pong, Y/N?” his arm drapes around your shoulders as he walks the two of you into a random room of the house. This one is a little small, the walls are painted a plain old white colour with grey and black accessories. The fireplace fixed onto the main wall lets you know that this is the lounge, along with the grey coloured couch and matching arm chair.

It’s very homey, Billy’s mother must have put a lot of work and effort in to get it all to look so warm and you gotta say it makes you feel more welcomed. The thing with a lot of rich people’s houses is that you always feel out of place but this isn’t like any old rich persons house. 

In the centre of the room sits a table used for ping-pong with red solo cups lined up in pyramid shapes on both ends of it. Beer pong has never been your game, and you highly doubt that you’ll win but you decide to give it a go regardless.

Plus you can hardly sit on the couch all night, avoiding everyone, now can you?

You knock back the remainder of the beer in one fell swoop, grimacing once again at the bitterness, beer has never been your go to drink, and you’re not even sure what your go to drink is. 

Billy collapses onto the couch beside you, handing you another cup but this time it’s not beer. It’s vodka and coke.

“Drink up, pong buddy. You’re on my team and i expect to win” he then stands up, taking a hold of your hand to pull you to your feet and once you do you tip back your head to down the contents.

Loud cheers erupting all around you let you know that the party is well and truly under way and you were just praised for downing your drink in record time.

As you prepare to take your first shot, it’s you and Billy vs Stacey and Jay, you narrow your eyes to watch your school bully intently. She raises her brow at you condescendingly and now, it’s game fucking on. 

Meanwhile Andy is just finishing off his umpteenth beer of the night, his surroundings are nothing but a reminder of his marital problems and the dangerous thoughts of his babysitter that have set up camp in his already over crowded brain. 

The main fact consuming him being that you’re currently at a party, doing god knows what, with god knows who or whatever college kids do nowadays. And rightly. You’re young, single and sexy and you deserve to let your hair down, to live freely. 

If there were ever the slimmest of chances that you’d ever be his - be it in another life or in this one - you deserve to live without the shackles of his affections, without the impending doom of a relationship destined to fail given that you’d be bound to an older man. 

But he’s selfish, for dreaming of what that temporary life could look like, if he took a chance, which he won’t.

Deep down, despite his dismissal, he can sense your attraction to him that flows a lot deeper than just liking the way he looks, it’s more complicated than that.

Rather than making the sensible choice to head to bed, Andy opts for another beer. A long night of drinking alone is all that’s in store with nothing but his corrupted thoughts for company. 

Whereas you’re lapping up all of the cheers from your side of the beer pong table, loud music blaring around you from the surround sound. I Can’t Feel My Face by The Weeknd the cause of all the couples grinding on each other shamelessly.

“One last time, Y/N. Don’t let me down now” Billy says, jumping around, praying that you get this last shot in to make you the winners of beer pong. 

You relax your shoulders, balancing on one foot as you lean forward and toss it into one of the opposing teams cups. 

Billy pulls you closer to him, wrapping his arms around your body and lifting you up. But as you pull away, you brush your clammy hands over your outfit to avoid his eyes. You can sense him still looking at you though, so in a moment of madness, you glance at him quickly. But what you didn’t anticipate was for him to lean in.

With his arms still wrapped around your waist, he pulls you closer than before if that’s even possible. Curiosity gets the better of you, causing you to kiss him back, draping your arms around his neck loosely and playing with the hair at his nape. 

Despite your best efforts though, the kiss provides you with no fireworks, not even the tiniest of sparks. There’s nothing between the two of you.

“Gross” Stacey screeches, shoving past you to break the kiss up before disappearing into the crowd and out of the back door.

Billy smirks, tilting your head so that your eyes meet his again “you have no idea how long i’ve wanted to do that” 

As sweet as that comment is, you don’t know if you can stay here a second longer. Coming here was a decision you made in a moment of madness and wanting to feel anything for someone else other than the lawyer you live with. 

But before you can escape, Billy grips onto your wrist.

“Going somewhere?”

“Home”

“Not before we break out the shots, the party is just getting started” the wink he shoots you sends an unnerving shiver down your spine and you realise, you have no feelings whatsoever for him, not even the smallest of attractions. 

He’s cute, but that’s about all he brings to your table.

You end up agreeing out of courtesy for him, after all he did invite you to his home out of kindness so it’s only fair you show him the same back.

A couple shots and maybe one dance and you’ll leave, you promise yourself mentally.

-------------------------------

2 hours pass and it’s half past midnight, you could have sworn you didn’t intend to stay this long but then again, you weren’t that drunk when you made that silent arrangement with yourself to leave at a certain point. 

With the music flowing, Billy’s hands on your body and a drink in your hand, you continue to sway your hips to the seductive lyrics of Bruno Mars’s Gorilla.  It’s hard to break out of your partying haze. 

But as the music comes to an end, another filling the void, you finish off your last drink of the night. 

“I think i’m going to head home” you announce, earning a loud boo from Billy and Jay before Billy presses another sloppy kiss to your mouth, one that you move back from, grimacing at the feel of it.

“I’m just gonna go order my Uber” you excuse yourself before shuffling away and out into the cold night air, the immediate feel of it on your skin causes you to shiver erratically. Teeth jittering as you wait in the front yard for your Uber that claims he is round the corner, Billy staggers out to join you but before he can even reach you, Stacey summons him back inside. And without even so much as a goodbye, you strut or stumble your way to the Uber driver at the end of the road.

The journey to your temporary home is a rocky one at that, you sway around in the back seat, giggles escaping left right and centre, catching the drivers attention over and over. You’re in a more than positive mood but you have to remain quiet when you enter the house, for all you know, everyone could be asleep. Actually no, they will be asleep, it’s almost a quarter to one.

Once the car comes to a halt, you mumble a swift thank you to the pleasant but quiet driver for his help with getting you home safely. 

Slowly making your way up to the red door, you feel around in your bag for your keys before eventually grasping them in your hand and sliding them into the lock.

You quickly shut the door, as quiet as you can before slipping off your heels and tip toeing into the kitchen for a glass of water. You’re gonna need it to sober you up, or else you’ll wake up in the morning with a pounding headache and one heck of a hangover. And you already know from a past experience that you can’t handle those for shit. 

As you turn the corner though, you nearly scream as you spot Andy seated at the kitchen island, head bowed with a beer in hand, just like earlier. You dread to think how much he’s had to drink in the time that you’ve been out. This argument with Laurie has clearly taken a huge toll on him and even if he pretended to be okay, you’d see right through his facade. 

“You scared me” you giggle, moving around the island to get a glass from the cupboards, his head lifts and he watches your every move, even down to the lip bite you do as you stand onto your tip toes to reach the glass. 

But your struggles are more than apparent as you groan, that’s when he comes up behind you, his solid torso pressing up against your back. The heat emanating and warming up your cold body is delicious yet torturous, he’s so close, yet so far away from you. 

You’d only need to reach out and take it with both hands in a second for things to change, if you did that things would never be the same again. Even if you were rejected.

He takes the glass in his large calloused hand, handing it to you as you turn around, and the need to feel his lips pressed against yours is so visceral, it’s hard to shake. But nevertheless, you manage it.

You should be used to it, but even now under his spotlight, you feel overwhelmed by feelings, hidden feelings. You don’t know how you’re going to get over them but you have to at least try. You fill up the glass of water quickly, refraining from taking a sip until you’re out of his eyeline. 

“Thank you, i’m just gonna head to bed early. All that socialising has worn me out” you flash him a genuine smile before spinning around on your bare heels and striding toward the door, but he soon stops you.

“Am i being unreasonable?”

The question while random isn’t confusing to you, you somehow know what he means by those words. Yet you ask for clarification regardless “what do you mean?”

“For wanting...sex? Laurie seems to think it’s pathetic”

Pathetic? For wanting sex? Seriously?

Although you’ve never had sex, you’ve still experienced those needs just like everyone else and what you’ve come to learn thus far in life is that everyone deals with those needs the way they see fit. Some can’t contain their needs, or conjure up any sort of control when it comes to it. And others don’t seem too bothered about waiting around, or going without completely. Now you’re learning Andy is the former, as are you. 

Some days you think to yourself, what would happen if you just contacted your ex, you know, to get it over with. But then you come up for air and it all seems so over-exaggerated. You know your virginity is something sacred, something you should treasure, regardless of your sex drive nagging at you to let yourself give it up.

“No, i don’t” you turn around to look at him as you speak, placing the glass of water down on the kitchen counter “despite you second guessing yourself, it’s how you truly feel and that’s something people should never apologise for. There are too many men out there that would have avoided telling their wives about how they feel, instead they bury their dick in another woman, hoping for the best outcome”. 

His Adams apple bobs in his throat, catching your attention and that’s when you see his jaw clench, he’s holding back even now. There are so many things he wants to say but he doesn’t want to speak them into a reality.

“I guess you’re right there, but say you were in my position, what would you do?”

“What do you mean?” you have no idea where he is going with this.

“I mean, if you had a boyfriend and you were in Laurie’s position...would you feel offended if he told you he felt like the passion was beginning to fade and that he felt like you were making zero effort to keep it alive”

The look in his eyes notices the sad one in yours and he sighs, shaking his head.

“Actually, don’t an-”

“Well, first off, i’d never let it get to that point, because i believe in communication and putting in the effort if you love somebody enough. And Second of all, i’d do everything i could to reassure him that i wanted him” all of. a sudden, you’re walking toward him, like a woman on a mission until before you know it, your face is inches from his.

“Especially, if that hypothetical boyfriend looked as good as you do” you lift up onto your tip toes again, to reach his lips before leaning in and pressing yours to them.

A second passes and he doesn’t move but just as you go to deepen the kiss, Andy backs away suddenly, making you step back shamefully.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” he whisper yells, wiping his mouth as if the feel of you disgusts him, causing tears to drown out your vision as you try your best to keep your composure.

“I-i’m sorry” you mumble, picking at the skin around your fingernails, hands shaking uncontrollably. 

All of the signs he gave you, all of the lingering stares, all of the eye contact, the deep conversations, the sexual tension. It was all fake, all in your head. 

Wow, Y/N, way to go.

You feel so unbelievably stupid right now, so humiliated. It’s all too much. Rather than wait around here any longer with him watching you struggling to breathe, you pick up your glass and storm off to your room. 

The door closes silently before you sink down to the floor, tears escaping one after the other, no end in sight. While Andy smacks the kitchen counter hard before running his hand over his face. 

He can’t believe you just did that. After the endless amount of time spent on his part fantasising over you, thinking about your body, your lips. Yet the moment he gets them, he blows it. All because of the shock of it all. 

The way they felt pressed against his, with your hands placed on his pecks, he wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around you, to live in that moment and forget about the tornado occurring around him. But his initial reaction was to pull away, to let his conscience lead the way. He would never be able to do that do Laurie, despite their marital problems.

Watching your eyes fill with tears was the most difficult part about it, the way you curled in on yourself, retracting your previous comfortable energy. You were suddenly closed off, walls built sky high with an electric fence around it for good measure, to ensure that no one will get in from that moment onward. And by no one, he knows that only goes for himself. 

He should have guessed from your childhood, that you don’t trust easy, that you don’t allow yourself to feel often and the moment you do, as much as he feels the same, he’s let you believe that he doesn’t.

After that mortification, you’re not entirely sure where it leaves your working position with the Barber family.

However there is one thing you know for certain, you’re not sure if you ever want to show your face around this house again after tonight and suddenly all of the alcohol you consumed at the party has worn off. You’re stone cold sober, feeling every single bit of shame and hurt. 

What have you done?

------------------------------

Stirring in your sleep, you toss and turn before groaning at something hard underneath you, and all it takes is for you to open one of your eyes just a little to see that you’re on the hardwood floor of your bedroom. You must’ve lay down after wearing yourself out with all of the crying. 

Jacob running around outside is enough to make you sit upright, rubbing your sore eyes before standing up. 

You can’t go out of there with your face looking like this, and as you check yourself out in the mirror, you absently start changing out of your clothes from last night. 

Jeans aren’t comfortable to sleep in whatsoever.

You slip into a baggy shirt and shorts before tying your hair back, taking your make up off and stepping out of the room, your feet drag you to the kitchen while you reluctantly follow. 

This is quite literally the most embarrassing time of your life, you’re only praying that Andy has already left for work and as you enter the kitchen, you can’t see any sign of him. Only Laurie and Jacob fill the space.

Without uttering a word, you take a seat at the dining room table, picking up the box of frosted flakes to pour into one of the empty and clean bowls that Laurie placed on the table. 

“Good morning” Laurie chirps, looking a lot happier to be here than you, and as for Jacob, he takes a seat next to you, growling noises to imitate his dinosaurs.

“Morning” you mumble, keeping your head down so that you can continue to speed eat your cereal and get out of here as fast as possible. You have college today so that means after eating, you’ll need to shower and then change, you’re looking forward to leaving this house for the day, in hopes that it’ll distract you from the current situation. 

But just as you think you’ve missed Andy, he appears in the doorway, suited up and looking all the more attractive. Why does he have to look this good when you’re not allowed to have him?

It’s not fair and the damaging nature of what you did last night is currently eating away at your insides, threatening to roll off of your tongue and out you to Laurie. But as Andy gives you a look that says ‘keep your mouth shut’ you mentally put a pad lock on your lips for the time being, despite how guilt ridden you are, it’s an infestation with no sign of a cure. 

The only option is to leave this house, crawl back to your old dorm and live your life as a broke bitch. It’s the only way.  You then also make a mental note to have a talk with both Andy and Laurie, if you have to conjure up an excuse as to why you’re leaving then that’s what you’ll do. Perhaps you can say that the work to college balance isn’t sufficient enough, that it’s putting too much on your plate. Yeah, that sounds good enough. Okay, you’ll do it tonight. 

“What time are you leaving for college, Y/N?” Laurie’s soft voice pulls you back to reality and as your eyes meet hers, Andy is in your peripheral vision, giving you his deep stare. Those dreamy blue eyes will surely be the death of you. 

However, unbeknownst to you, Andy is thinking the exact same thing, only he’s thinking it about every single inch of your body, every aspect of your personality -even the parts he’s yet to uncover- and he can’t help but wonder, just what drove you to make a move last night.

It had to have been the alcohol, although they do say that alcohol only heightens your sober feelings and perhaps you already liked him but never had the courage to do anything before. And that thought alone sends a genuine and warming smile to Andy’s lips, one that soon dissipates the second he pinches himself. He can never have you, what is he even playing at? He’s married, a lot older than you and you’re his employee. The main one being that he’s married,  he’s not even available. 

Sure, he loves Laurie, he loves her beyond what any words could ever express. But lately, he’s not felt as though they have been working as a team. it’s felt very much like a one sided marriage, one that consists of Andy tirelessly working to keep the spark alive, but it seems it’s fizzling out fast and he has no say in it. 

He’s grasping at straws as he greets his wife this morning with a passionate kiss, or an attempt at one. Laurie soon pushes him off gently, trying her best not to embarrass him. This doesn’t go unnoticed by you though, as you watch his hands snake around her waist slowly, his way of pulling her back to him to try again but to no avail.

“I’m leaving in the next hour, i just need to shower and change” you check the time on your phone before nodding to set it in stone, glancing back up at the not so happy couple as you rise to your feet “that reminds me, i gotta get in that shower now if i want to be on time” you place your empty bowl in the sink, along with the spoon before brushing past the two of them hastily, averting your gaze to the ground awkwardly. 

Your hand brushes Andy’s, so quickly that you’re not even sure if it happened but before you can even make it into the hallway, Laurie calls you back.

“Did you need a ride there?” 

“No, i...i usually just drive”

“No need, Andy drives past your college all of the time on his way to work, he can drop you if you like, saves using your gas”

While the offer is tempting, you really can’t afford to be alone with Andy right now, or ever for that matter. It’s too awkward and not to mention hard for you.  To face up to him now is scary, let alone to continue being around him. 

The assertiveness you feel while rehearsing your lines for later begins to falter the moment Andy steps forward to face you directly.

“I’d hate to intrude, honestly, i’m okay to drive. Thank you though, it was a kind gesture” you spin back around on your heels to ascend the staircase but you’re once again disrupted by the rudeness of Laurie’s kindness. Sure that sounds incredibly ungrateful but you really need to start getting ready and if you don’t shower in the next 10 minutes, you’ll be going to college with unwashed hair.  

And you can’t have that. 

“You wouldn’t be, seriously. Andy is fine with it, aren’t you honey?” she turns to him, suddenly feigning affection by using the pet name you’ve heard them use for each other so many times already. What’s with the sudden interest in her husband? You wonder silently, without the guts to even voice your opinion.

You have no idea why you suddenly feel this disdain crawling its way underneath your skin so easily, but it’s unnerving. She’s his wife Y/N, she has every right to act how she pleases with him, call him whatever she wants. Well, not every right but there’s nothing you can do about it. So it’s high time you got your ass away from this family, to rid yourself of the man camping out in your head rent free.

Try as you may, you just can’t pull your eyes away from Andy, as he stands tall in the archway that separates the kitchen and the foyer. 

He looks just as confused as you do at Laurie’s use of the pet name. Maybe you weren’t so over hypocritical of Laurie after all if her own husband was left feeling deflated. One minute she wants him, the next she’s grimacing at the feel of his hands on her. 

It could just be menopause, but she’s far too young to be going through that, surely. It wouldn’t be the first time a woman went through the change so early, but it’s also not a regular occurrence. 

Andy is far too accepting of her hot and cold behaviour. 

One could also argue that their recent argument is to blame for this shift in their dynamic, actually now that you come to think of it, that’s probably it. After all, Andy did just tell his wife and the mother of his son that he feels she doesn’t try anymore. It can’t have been easy to hear, not in the slightest. 

Andy isn’t all too bothered about Laurie lounging around the house in her pyjamas with unbrushed and wild hair, in fact he’d welcome it if she paid him more attention. But she just breezes past him every morning to leave for work lately without even so much as a goodbye kiss and hug. 

Once Andy had expressed his concerns for the downward spiral in their marriage, Laurie was shocked, as if his concerns were completely far fetched, too out of reach to even be accurate. It seems Laurie saw your employment as an excuse to bury herself in work, not take it as an opportunity to rekindle with her husband. Perhaps, in truth, Laurie didn’t intentionally abandon him, but Andy still felt left behind.

It all seems like a big misunderstanding due to lack of communication along the way yet you’re happy for it to continue, only because it gives you false hope of a spark igniting between yourself and Andy, despite your subconscious advising you to steer clear of your unobtainable crush. 

“Sure, i drive that way anyway for work. It makes sense for me to take you” his words should convince even Laurie -his wife who should spot his hesitance a mile off- yet she doesn’t bat an eyelid, merely dismissing it as a problem solved. She’s aware that you have a car, yet why was she just so pushy for you to ride with Andy. Is it her way of sussing out your crush, to know for sure that a younger model is replacing her old worn and torn, in desperate need of repair model? 

No, it couldn’t, she wouldn’t put her husband in such a predicament. Either that or she’s not in it anymore with Andy so she’s finding her own replacement. 

No, again, this all sounds so extensive, so over dramatic. She’s merely a genuine woman, looking to help out a student, to help you save money on gas where possible. If Andy can give you a ride that means you can avoid filling up as often as you have been. 

“Thank you” you mumble, trying to seem as grateful as you can before walking up the stairs quickly to shower. God that was so weird, more so on Laurie’s part. But you try to forget about it as you massage your green apple scented shampoo into your hair.

After showering, you rush down in your towel to your bedroom so that you can dry off and change. With the time on your phone reading 8:10am, you only have another ten minutes to get your shit together before Andy leaves for work, taking you with him in his expensive Audi. 

God that car, it’s so intimate being in that passenger seat next to him while he man spreads, gripping the wheel with one hand, the mere sight causing your mouth to water. 

He’s right there next to you, smelling so good it’s almost intoxicating. Actually, no scrap that... it is intoxicating, it’s like you can’t form a coherent sentence with him near, can’t breathe regularly. He clouds your judgement, without letting up. 

It’s like with him, all moral high-ground ceases to exist and you can’t prevent yourself from craving the taste of his lips, the feel of his skin on yours. But then he walks away and you’re left so confused as to what even happened. 

And now you’re right back in that state of blurriness, unable to speak as he gets into the car, sitting the way he always does, all relaxed but you know he’s far from it. The tenseness he accrues from his career must be a lot on it’s own but with the added stress of his family life too, the man is silently screaming that he’s in need of a good fucking, an orgasm to relieve all of his worries, even if it is just for a short while. 

You could provide that, even for a virgin, you’re not completely unaware of how it all works. You’ve watched things, read things, done things albeit small but still, you know how it all goes down, and you’d be more than happy to oblige. 

Andy thinks he’s undesirable, oh how wrong he is with that assumption. If only he knew just what you want to give to him -your innocence- then he’d soon wake up from licking his wounds. 

The journey to college is intense to say the least, neither one of you is willing to speak up first and neither one of you can force some pretence that last night didn’t happen. So it’s probably best if the conversation isn’t made and the silence fills the air instead, even if it is awkward.

Andy can’t stand this for a moment longer, so he reaches over to the stereo, pressing it on and adjusting the volume to a suitable one. But as soon as a modern song plays into the radio-a woman singing about offering herself to a man if he wants her-he regrets it instantly. 

God all he wants is to feel you on him, your body pressed against his. The last time he wanted a woman this badly was in the first couple months of his time with Laurie, when she refused to give it up. He could have sworn that he was on the verge of passing out from the constant urge and the blood rushing to his groin every time she so much as bent over purposely.

The sight of you in his passenger seat is enough to get him hard here and now and as he feels that all too familiar ache, he makes a mental note to relieve the tension during his shower later tonight. It’ll never be the same as a woman’s touch or better yet how he imagines your touch would feel, but it’ll suffice for the time being. 

Until he bursts, he’ll have to make do. 

You shuffle in your seat, wiggling your bum against the leather seat before flopping back against it, huffing impatiently but as you do so, Andy pulls up to your college. 

Without uttering a word, you unbuckle your seat belt, reaching for the door handle. A quick “thank you” passes your lips as you grab your backpack and attempt to exit.

“Y/N....” his voice cuts your attempt off, stilling your movement “about last night”

Oh no, this is not happening right now, surely he’d never bring this up now. You thought your advance had been swept under the rug. Clearly not.

“I’m gonna move out” you blurt, stopping him before he can continue to reprimand you for your move. 

Did he just hear you correctly? You’re going to move out? But why? Sure, you made a move, and as much as he wishes he could have had you last night, he knows he can’t, but that doesn’t mean you need to leave.

“Face it, it’ll be a lot easier, a lot less awkward. Because i don’t know how i can continue to take money from your family, to live with your family after what i did and how i behaved last night. I was out of order” you ramble, barely even taking the time to breathe.

“Y/N” his tone is one of warning as he forces you to look at him, you refuse. 

You shake your head, again reaching for the door.

“Goddam it will you just stay and listen to me?” his raised voice is far from threatening as it catches your attention. 

“What i was going to say, or even explain, is why i pushed you off last night”

“You don’t need to-”

“I do” he sighs, exhaustion consuming him, it doesn’t even look like he had much sleep last night, much like yourself. You cried yourself to sleep, the rejection filling you with sadness. 

“Being around you is hard enough, or at least it was. Until you kissed me. Feeling your lips on mine made everything ten times worse, it made avoiding and brushing my feelings for you off so much harder. You have no idea how long i’ve wanted to kiss you, to touch you, to be with you despite knowing that i could never have you. I knew that if i let myself give in, even if it was just a couple of seconds of bliss, that i’d be doomed. And in you walked last night, tipsy and flirty, dressed in that sexy top and those tight jeans that only accentuated your figure more. I cursed myself internally. Now i’m fucked because i know what your lips feel like and it was so hard to stop that kiss, i didn’t sleep a wink last night, i was too busy thinking about you”

His revelation, whilst a lot to take in, isn’t all that surprising. As crazy as that sounds. 

It all makes sense, hearing him explain it from his point of view. His rejection last night wasn’t even rejection, it was prevention. He was trying to stop it in its tracks, although your claws were already so deep into his unblemished and muscly skin that there was no way out for him. The exits were blocked last night and he had no way of escaping.

That means the feeling you got of him enjoying the kiss was real, he wanted it just as much as you if not more, but he knew he’d be in deep shit if he showed his interest. Which you can’t fault him for, he was doing what was right. But how come he’s telling you all of this truth now?

Perhaps his guilty conscience doesn’t effect him as much as you thought yours would.

“I’m glad you stopped it” in a moment of strength, you hold your head up high and say what you don’t want to, just to avoid this getting even more complicated.

His head shoots over to look at you, searching your body language for a sign of what you could possibly mean by that.

“I mean, you have a family. I’m your sons nanny, for god’s sake. It’s not right, we can’t feel this way, it’s not right. It’ll ruin everything”

Andy reaches his hand out to touch your distressed face, to ease your concerns but you pull away before he can. The two of you lean back into the brand new and comfortable leather seats, sighs escaping, deep breaths you had no idea you were holding in leaving your bodies.

“I think things with Laurie and I are way past the point of ruin, don’t you?” he rolls his head to the side to glance at you, his strength crumbling to ashes.

You shrug in response, looking down at your hands, picking at the skin around your fingernails to distract from your thoughts as well as the devil on your shoulder convincing you to do the worst. 

But that’s when Andy hooks his index finger underneath your chin, turning your head so that your eyes meet his. Want, need, lust, all fill your orbs as well as his, silently begging each other to cave in.

“Fuck holding back” he breathlessly mutters before diving in and crashing his lips to yours so hard that it should have hurt, but it didn’t. All you can feel-in your veins, your heart, your sex-is passion. The sparks that fly seem to be never ending and you don’t want it to halt. You’re loving the feel of his two large hands cupping your face this way, along with the feel of his tongue forcing its way into your mouth that opens due to a whisper like moan rolling off of your tongue. He’s taking you by surprise, he’s claiming you as his. It’s fire, it’s ice, it’s hot and cold. It’s everything you imagined it to be and more. 

After a while, his kisses avert to your jawline, his teeth getting over excited by nipping at your skin as he slowly moves to your neck. The blood rushing down south is probably an occurrence for Andy too, and you wonder is he feeling the desperate need to go all the way just as you are.

But then your eyes widen as you swallow the endless stream of moans to halt them.

“Andy” you groan, trying to lift the grown mans head from the crook of your neck without succeeding. 

“Andy” but as he bites you on that spot you never knew you had, you jolt out of surprise, causing him to move away.

“Did that hurt?” his concerned tone warms your heart.

“No, not at all. We just can’t be doing this, especially not here” you reason, looking out of the car windows at all of your classmates aimlessly strolling, not one person is looking into the vehicle at your flushed state.

“You’re right, we should probably go somewhere more private. Should i pick you up, later i mean and we can figure this out” he says it as he gestures to the two of you with his finger. The guilt returns. And as you turn your head to the side, peeking out of the window to find Billy, your rebound plan comes into play. 

Maybe if you got with Billy or even kissed him a couple more times, then your little, whatever it is with Andy will fade.

“I gotta go, okay. I can get the bus back, don’t worry about me” you grab your backpack from the floor before opening the car and practically running over to Billy. Andy lingers for a little longer, long enough to see Billy greet you by throwing his arm around your shoulders and leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead. 

With one beep of his horn, your head whips around in his direction, “what time do you finish, Y/N?” he shouts, leaning across the car to the passenger window.

“4:00, but i already said i can get the b-”

“See you at 4:00″ 

And just like that, he drives off, leaving you even more conflicted than you were before.

Billy’s gruff voice pulls your attention back in his direction “so what’s up? I had a lot of fun with you last night” his words are flirtatious and they should be satisfying to hear but all they do is leave you irritable, itching to move as far away from him as humanly possible. But your attempts to brush him off go unnoticed as he continues to walk the two of you into the south building, for your first lecture.

You can’t help but wonder what Andy was thinking as he laid his eyes on Billy, the way he had his arm around you, he might have assumed the worst. Although, would it really be so bad for him to think that? It would push him away and it’ll mean you’ll have a distraction from him. 

Who are you even kidding, Y/N? He was seething, jealousy seeping out of his pores, he wasn’t happy with Billy and his hands on you. That should be him, Andy thinks, smacking the steering wheel with rage, gripping it with a white knuckle force.

How he plans to get any work done today, he will never know. It’ll be impossible to say the least. 

As he struts confidently into the building, passing everyone by without even stopping for a second to acknowledge them, Andy’s mind is racing over what you could be doing with that guy, is he your boyfriend? Or have you already hooked up with him? 

With next to no control over his jealousy, his rage worsens. The thought of you doing what everyone else your age is doing bothers him more than it should. You’re twenty for christ’s sake, you deserve to have some fun. Hell, even he did that, before he met Laurie of course, but he still did it. Everyone should have that phase in their life, the years to explore what satisfies them sexually.

So how come Andy wants nothing more than to be the man you experiment with, the man you discover what you like with. He wants to be the man you touch, he wants to run his large calloused hands over your soft and unblemished desirable skin. He wants to trace the curves with his thick and nimble digits. Especially the curve of your ass, he is an ass man after all, always has been. And yours is really something to behold, the perfect place for his hands, his mouth, his teeth.

There really is no going back now, he’s drowning in you already.

------------------------------

As much as you had hoped this day would drag out, the anticipation of seeing Andy again is almost too much to bare and it’s meant the day has practically flown by, you blinked during your first lecture and now here you are, in the final minutes of your study period. 

You have until midnight tomorrow to submit your next assignment so you’re doing all of the prep for the conclusion of it, it’s all good taking notes for it but a whole new challenge to actually write it. Especially when your constantly distracted by the lawyer who’s home you’re living in. 

Sexual desire is something you’ve not experienced much of, after all you are a virgin but it’s like being in close proximity to Andy, you feel awakened, alert, and you suddenly crave more than just food. It’s unusual yet it feels too good, you’ve missed out on so much already in that department. 

After always insisting that you’d never go there with a guy unless you were serious about him and him with you, it’s amusing that those promises are slipping away the longer he’s near. Your body feels his presence before your eyes settle on him, the shivers that dance down your spine, the shake in your hands that you feel from holding yourself back. All of the above are things that have left Andy paralysed, the struggle, the control deteriorating. It’s all too much. He has everything, a loving wife in Laurie, a gorgeous and healthy son and a successful career. What else could he possibly need that’s worth messing all of that up?

And the answer to that would be you, a pretty young thing tiptoeing your way into his life, into his head, turning him on and making his cock harder than any woman-harder than Laurie- has ever made him.  

The curve of your ass hanging out of those booty shorts, it’s delicious torture. He aches down south, it’s never ending. 

Please, god, let it be over, let it leave his body, his silent prayers that he says every night now. But it isn’t going away and now he’s left wondering whether the only way to get you out of his system and pull you out from underneath his skin is to step into the ocean and get more than just a taste of you. 

With the majority of his work sorted for the day, Andy packs up his things, turning off his computer before heading out of his office, passing Lynn on his way out.

“I’m off early, gotta pick the nanny up from college, the Lax case is all taken care of though. So i’ll just pick it up again Monday, ready for the trials in two weeks” 

Lynn gives Andy an approving nod, bidding him goodbye before he disappears into the hallway, his feet carrying him to the staircase and then eventually to his car. 

What is he even going to say to you when he picks you up? Is there a right or wrong way to cheat on his wife, a wrong or right way to tell a much younger woman that he wants to fuck her? 

He’s way out of practice when it comes to these things, all he’s ever known for so long is Laurie. And when it comes to married life, you get comfortable, dates are practically non existent, you see the good the bad and the ugly of your spouse. But it in no way lessens the way he feels when he looks over at Laurie. 

However, right now their downward spiral is continuous, and he’s going dizzy from her mixed signals. For once he just wants to feel wanted, desired even. He wants to be touched and to touch someone. That someone-as much as he’s attempted, pathetically at that, to push it away- is you. 

The drive to your college feels almost like it’s in slow motion as he prepares for the potential boyfriend revelation. He highly doubts you’d kiss him whilst committed to someone else but then again, he never thought it to be a possibility where he did this either, nothing is impossible and nobody is perfect. Not even Andy Barber. 

He pulls up next to the sidewalk, winding the window down with the buttons on his door so he can get a clearer view of the doors. 

Minutes pass, no sign. That is until he catches a glimpse of that same guy from earlier. The one who was way too touchy with you, so he calls out to Billy.

“Hey, you know where Y/N is?” 

Billy approaches the car, leaning in to make eye contact with Andy, unaware that Andy hates him for his involvement or potential involvement with you. 

“Last time i saw her she said she was leaving to go catch the bus home”

Dammit. He only admitted his feelings for you not even ten hours ago and you’re already defying him, why can’t you just do as he says?

Without even so much as a thank you in Billy’s direction, Andy speeds off toward the bus stop a block away, keeping an eye out to see if he can spot you. But not knowing how long ago you left makes it even harder to find you. 

A flash of pink on a backpack that’s majority is black catches his eye, that looks a lot like your one.  The speed slows as he pulls up alongside the stranger walking, praying it’s you but as that same stranger turns her head, he writes it off. 

He finds the nearest space to park into along the sidewalk before putting the car in park and pulling out his phone. 

Clicking on your contact, he presses the phone to his ear. 

One ring, nothing.

Two rings, nothing.

Three rings, nothing.  

But on the fourth ring, you answer. 

“Where are you? I told you i’d pick you up”

“I’m at the park around two blocks away from college, i neede-”

“I’ll be there in a minute”

He hangs up the phone hastily before making his way to the park, it’s one he’s kind of familiar with. Laurie used to always bring Jacob here when he was just learning to walk, the swings were his favourite. 

You look around constantly, wondering when he’ll arrive and you hate that your body betrays you by forming goosebumps all over your skin at the sight of him entering through the gate across the way. 

Andy Barber, a man that never struck you as the controlling, or the angry type. But here he is, taking big strides to get to you quickly with a less than amused expression on his face.

“I told you i was picking you up”

“I needed space, calm down”

He comes to a halt in front of you, hands rested on his hips as he sighs.

“Can i join you?” he points to the empty space next to you on the park bench, to which you nod, giving him the go ahead.

“Look about earlier” you both say in unison, before chuckling nervously at the joint worry. 

“You go first” he says, clasping his hands together in his lap.

“I can’t do this with you, Andy. It’s not fair on Laurie, or Jacob for that matter”

“I just want a chance to see what...this is. That’s all. What if we explore it and it’s nothing more than a temporary craving, a need for us to feel close to someone”

And now is where you disclose your virginity. 

Silence fills the space as you prepare to tell him, knowing that when you do, whatever this was will be over. And that’s for the best but that doesn’t make it easy. You like Andy, you’re attracted to him.

“I’m a virgin, Andy”

All movement comes to a complete stand still as he leans forward, head in his hands. 

The silence seems to go on and on, no reprieve. The twisting feeling in your stomach from the fear of rejection finally coming to life, yet again. Almost as if you’re back in high school senior year with Kyle. Despite his inability to remain loyal to you, his actions still hurt you and you guess that’s where all of your insecurities stemmed from. Well, to tell a lie, they all stemmed from your dad abandoning you, but as far as relationships go, Kyle really set the standard for how you thought you deserved to be treated.

Now, around Andy, you can see that you deserve a lot more, you always have done.

“I don’t want to force you into anything....” his pause seems to last a lifetime until another deep breath escapes him “i want you, i really really do. But knowing what i know now, i want to leave this in your hands, if you don’t wanna do this, i’ll understand”

Where did he get the impression that you didn’t want it? Isn’t it obvious to him, that he’s all you think about, that he’s all you crave, or that his smile lights up your world when you’re not feeling the best. When your day is gloomy, he’s the positive ray of sunshine. 

“But i do” you say, voice barely audible as you pick at the skin around your fingernails.

“What?”

“Sure, i’m a virgin and i know that’s a lot to take on. But i’ve spent so long either ignoring guys or getting hurt and i’ve always promised myself that i’d save my virginity for a guy...no, a man, that deserves it”

His eyes meet yours as you scoot closer to him “i’ll admit, i know that this is wrong. Trust me, i’ve gone over how i feel god knows how many times in my head. But i can no longer argue that this is something i can continue to ignore. Every time we talk, there’s this connection, this understanding, we get each other. You make me laugh and seeing you with Jacob, the way he admires you, it just makes things worse. I know that if we were to do this, it could ruin everything with Laurie but i can’t fight you anymore”

He talks as though he’s breathless, voice raspy and gruff. You want him so bad right now but you’re fighting with yourself yet again.

Here Andy Barber is, the lawyer who hired you to look after his son, and he’s admitting that he wants to get involved with you, sexually, romantically. And you’re conflicted but deep down, you’re elated. You want him too, you always sensed his attraction to you, despite the second guessing along the way. Now you want to see where this could lead.

Even though you’re almost a thousand percent sure that this will only be a fling, a quick something to get each other out of your systems. But now, all of that suddenly doesn’t matter. You’d happily give him something so sacred and special, even if he won’t be yours only, because he’s special to you in this moment. 

Besides, how many women give this part of them to someone with no promise of forever? Too many to count, that’s for sure.

“I say we start off slow, then” you start, initiating it and letting him know, you’re all in “perhaps a date will be a great place to start” you suggest, and a content and relaxed smile appears on his face, his eyes lighting up at your agreement.

His Adam’s apple bobs as he straightens his posture.

“I mean, we’ll have go way out of town to make a date possible. But i want to do this right” his hand finds yours, his fingers intertwining with yours whilst his thumb grazes the back of your hand in a way that puts sexual intimacy to shame. These moments are the kind of moments that women dream about, one on one time, moments that are so far and few between but when they happen they mean more than any kiss or any word could ever. In this moment, Andy Barber is yours for the taking, in this moment you feel at peace, you feel content, happy even. In this moment, no one could ever take him away from you. He wants you, and you want him. 

The car ride back to the house is far from awkward, with Andy reaching his hand over to grip your thigh in yet another special moment that you’re sure means just as much to him as it does to you. 

Sure, guilt eats away at you when you’re away from Andy and imagining all of the things he could do to you if you had the privacy away from everyone else and all distractions, it’s shameful.

You’ve never been one to shy away from masturbation, it’s something you began doing more of in the last year, it’s a good stress reliever but now you’re in need of Andy’s hand replacing your own, massaging your pulsating clit slowly.  

The way he’d be able to make you come with just that alone is embarrassing but somehow you know you wouldn’t care, he’d probably lap it up, it would inflate his ego and you’d only turn him feral. He’d most likely be determined to draw more orgasms from your inexperienced body and you’d have absolutely zero complaints. 

A sweet giggle fills the car, catching Andy’s attention.

“What?” followed by a chuckle of his own. 

“Nothing” you lie, feeling mortified that you were just daydreaming about what sex-or more accurately, foreplay- would be like with him. Do you even admit that to guys? Do they want to hear about it? This is all entirely new territory for you.

“I don’t know if i should even say” you relax back against the leather seat.

“Okay, now i’m intrigued” he wonders, dragging out the last word whilst you play with his hand, comparing it to yours without even meaning to.

“I was just...i was imagining things” you tease him, earning a hum, his way of asking you to continue.

“Sexual things” you admit, wanting to curl away and hide your face but he stops you by gripping your face, his eyes still fixated on the road ahead, although he manages to look at you fleetingly. 

“I want to know more, really i do. But if you tell me more, i won’t be able to hold myself back.  So how about we discuss what day you want to have this date” his hand lifts yours to his lips, plump and pink and pressing against your skin. The affectionate gesture making your heart skip a beat.

“How about this weekend?” you turn your head against the seat to catch a quick glimpse of his gorgeous smile, one that he flashes constantly, and being the subject of that smile makes you feel on top of the world, like nothing or no one can ever interrupt this peace and bliss you feel. 

“We’ll have to move some things around and it will take some lying, so if you’re cool with that t-”

“I am. I want to spend time with you” you giggle excitedly before turning your attention back to the road. 

These are the kind of moments in movies, love songs and romance novels. The intimate car drives with a Taylor Swift soundtrack to match. The memories that female protagonists in novels look back on when thinking about their lover. Or even the montage in movies that shows the loved up couple doing simple things yet they are so unbelievably happy. 

Your life is just as good as those things, if not better. Sure, from an outsider with their head screwed on would disprove of this, yourself and Andy agreeing to see each other behind Laurie’s back. Well, as of right now you’re just agreeing to a date and sure you kissed-multiple times- but it’s not the point. The point is, this date will be the tell on if you’ll continue and right now, as bad as it sounds, you’re praying it goes well. 

No one gets to pick and choose who they are attracted to in this life, no one gets to choose the circumstances of those attractions either. It happens and sometimes the situations suck. But one thing you can choose is whether or not those people are worth the risk, and right now, Andy Barber is worth it, regardless of the backlash that will inevitably follow suit. 

As he pulls onto his street, he automatically lets go of your hand, in hopes that no one will see you, if you’re going to do this, you need to go slow. 

It’s a mutual understanding. 

Once Andy parks up, you’re the first to get out, opting to enter through the back door this time around whilst Andy follows slowly behind. Although you expected Laurie to be at home with Jacob, you didn’t expect to see her running herself ragged, with a duffel bag on the kitchen island. 

The second Andy steps in, he spots the bag, along with a stressed out Laurie. And the first thing that crosses your mind is that she knows. Did she see you kissing earlier, she can’t have. But, did she?

You gulp, fearing for your life right now as well as Andy’s who seems to be assuming the same judging by the expression on his face. Despite him acting so stoic, you can see right through him. 

“Laurie, what’s going on?” he makes his way over to her, and she stills.

“It’s Brooke... she caught Jeff with another woman and she asked me to go there” 

A deep breath you had no idea you were holding in manages to escape and you feel huge relief. You’re obviously not happy about her poor sister’s circumstances, but at the same time, you’re grateful she doesn’t know about the two of you before anything has even occurred. 

“God, i.....” Andy can barely get his words out, his sympathies for his sister in law, especially since not even an hour ago he was the one being unfaithful and kissing you behind Laurie’s back. 

“So what’s with the bags?” he asks, scratching his beard with confusion, his glance flickering back and forth from Laurie and the bag “where’s Jacob?”

“He’s getting his toys together, i’m going to stay with her for the weekend. She’s invited all of us and i thought it would be nice for Jacob to see his cousins again” her hopeful smile, optimistic that Andy will lap up her efforts at making room for family, instead she receives sad eyes and a frown. His way of letting her know he can’t make it.

And you know why he can’t. He agreed to take you on a date this weekend, guilt is working it’s way under your skin, drowning you out as the full weight of what yourself and Andy have been doing hits you with such a brutal force, it’s hard to ignore. 

“I’ll let you guys talk, i’m off to change” you excuse yourself, not even stopping to look at Andy, you know that if you do, you’ll feel even worse. 

Not only do you want him, you need him. It’s impossible to shake but you know it’s wrong. 

This isn’t just a silly crush, it can’t be. Your feelings are too deep for them to be temporary.

As you close the door to your room, you decide it’s better to distract yourself with getting changed and scrolling aimlessly through your phone rather than stick around for the awkward conversation between Laurie and Andy. Unless he plans on giving his marriage another try, in which case you would never blame him if he does. His marriage will always come first, he has a life with Laurie, a son. Jacob is his priority. 

And you... you’re just temporary. A substitute to fill in until he gets that back on track. 

After twenty minutes of sitting alone in your room, you hear the door close, no words, no nothing. Did he leave with her? Did he stay?

The only way to find out is to step out and see.

Here goes....

Your footsteps barely make a noise as you tiptoe through the foyer and into the kitchen, no one is around. Maybe he did leave with them, maybe now you have your answer. You check the lounge, still nothing. 

The hate you feel for yourself as you feel your heart sink, yet again, stupid Y/N has been left behind and rejected.

That’s your problem, your flaw, you get too attached too easily. It’s not hard for a guy to hurt you and it never has been. 

Without realising it, you shuffle back into the kitchen. You take a seat on one of the barstools, resting your head in your hands as you pick at the skin around your fingernails. 

“So, what do we do now?” you still at the sound of him, the ability you have to hear him smiling as he talks without even turning to take a peak. 

He stayed.

You spin around on the stool, your gloomy expression long forgotten.

“I thought you’d have left with Laurie and Jacob” the grin that’s forming on your face, ear to ear is so beautiful to Andy that suddenly he wants to wake up every day and see it as you lay next to him, as extreme as that sounds. but it’s how he feels.

“I contemplated it, but i made a promise to you, i never break my promises” you look down, averting your gaze to your feet, nervousness washing over your body, your hands shaking. 

He takes a step toward you, you take one back. He takes another, you take another. 

“We have the house to ourselves....” his suggestive tone gives you butterflies and a shiver runs down your spine, leaving goosebumps all over your skin in its wake.

“That we do” your affirmation earns a chuckle from him, he’s aware that you know where he’s going with this, yet you’re humouring him anyway.

“What do you suggest we do with all of this space, hm?” he backs you up to the counter, caging you in with his broad and muscular body, intimidating you with his size.

You gulp, looking up to meet his eyes.

A shrug is all you can muster “any ideas, sweetheart?” his hands rest either side of your frame as he lowers his head, his lips inches from yours.

Suddenly you’re breathless and breathing fast simultaneously, chest rising and falling as you struggle to contain it. 

“How about we have that date, tonight?” oh it’s really happening, no need to panic. You knew there was a possibility that this would actually happen, but standing here now under the intensity of his eyes, the reality is hitting you full force. 

Suddenly his teeth capture your bottom lip, biting down on it ever so slightly, just enough to draw a gasp from your innocent mouth. As he tugs it back toward himself, he lets go before using his thumb to caress your lip gently. Just when you least expect it, he brushes his lips against yours, taking the time to establish a rhythm. They move together so effortlessly, the heat building between the two of you like a crescendo. 

Passion and endless fireworks, the kiss deepens with you arching into him, your hands finding purchase on his crisp white shirt clad chest, whilst he wraps one arm around your frame, keeping the other resting on the kitchen counter. 

Everything is suddenly okay again, despite your earlier guilt and doubts, you now know that he doesn’t just see you as temporary. If he did, he’d have left with Laurie and Jacob tonight, and that alone gives you a feeling of worthiness, one you’ve not felt in a long time. 

His release on your lips causes your body to drain of all fulfilment and you suddenly want to spend forever just kissing him.

“Tell you what, how about you go and get ready whilst i take care of dinner and we have that date?”

You giggle, hands remaining on his chest as you nod your approval for his plan. 

Without even so much as another word you attempt to walk off, unsuccessfully as his hand around your wrist pulls you back.

“Wait” he spins you around, back into his arms, his lips stroking yours briefly before you push him away to go and shower, and as you walk up the stairs, he stands in the foyer, watching you ascend.

The second you reach the top of the staircase you decide to use the shower in the master bedroom, taking your time to undress, leaving items of clothing on the way into the bathroom, first off your socks, then your famous booty shorts and then your tank top. As you reach the doorway of the bathroom, you remove your thong before getting into the shower once the water turns hot. 

Meanwhile Andy is downstairs, trying to get a grip on his hard on, to no avail. Instead of focusing on your body and the way your lips felt against his, he picks up his phone and calls his favourite Chinese takeout, making sure to get it delivered whilst he gets changed.

Upon his movement to his bedroom, he doesn’t hear the shower, you must have gone to change downstairs already without him hearing, he thinks to himself. But then he sees your clothes scattered, stopping just at the doorway of his bathroom. 

That’s when he leans against the door, his gaze stopping on something purple and lacy, your thong. 

Andy picks it up, holding the garment between his fingers before lifting it to his face and inhaling.

God your scent, it’s perfect. But then again, he’d struggle to find a single flaw in you, as impossible as that sounds.

How he’s going to get through dinner without devouring your entire body, is beyond him. It’ll be a struggle, to say the least

Suddenly, the shower water stops, letting Andy know that you’re done. What he didn’t expect was for you to step out naked, before reaching a hand out for a towel. It’s like you sensed his presence too, because you don’t even flinch at the sight of him there.

You just lap up the attention he’s giving your body, picking up your towel with your eyes never leaving his, but when your towel falls from your hand, you take your time to bend over and retrieve it, teasing him all the more.

An intense feeling of want and need cascades over the two of you, the elephant in the room being your undisclosed fantasies. Andy has no clue just how ready you are for him to touch you, or the dreams you’ve had. If he did, you’d have been underneath him a long time ago, judging by the knowledge you already possess regarding his growing attraction to you.

“I take it you took care of dinner” you innocently wrap your towel around you but before you can even secure it to your damp and naked frame, Andy is on you, pulling it away. That look in his eyes is unfamiliar yet there’s something there that’s letting you know he’d never intentionally hurt you. His hunger and thirst run too deep sometimes for him to watch how he manhandles your body, to watch how he shoves you against the wall of the bathroom.

But luckily for him, you love his uncontrollable sexual desire, the desire he gets just at the mere sight of you. 

“You could say that” 

Your chest starts to rise and fall as his eyes flicker back and forth from your breasts and lips, like he’s fighting with himself over where he wants to kiss you first. After a couple seconds, his mouth finds yours, unable to prevent himself from deepening the kiss almost instantly, something that you welcome with open arms. 

The feel of your fingers playing with the hair at the nape of his neck sends a shiver down his spine and he shakes in your arms. The more you get into the kiss the more your hands slide into his hair until before you know it, his hair is no longer styled to perfection, the look he’s so well known for. 

The mean and punishing grip that his hands have on your waist is so good yet it’s bound to leave a bruise. You’d happily allow him to mark you up, all over your body, a trail of evidence that he’s the only man to touch and love you. 

His mouth sucks on your tongue before pulling away completely, his fingers intertwining with yours as he lifts your arms up above your head, all the while his mouth starts to work its way down to your jawline. His tongue, a warm organ lapping at your innocent skin with such precision, a man on a mission. A mission to bend you to his will, to take you to a place no other man has.

And Andy would be lying if he didn’t admit that your virginity turns him on even more. When a man is the first to touch a woman, a feral sensation that he’s unable to control takes over. Now, Andy is discovering the truth in that rumour, the throbbing of his cock against the confines of his dress pants is unlike any other, he’s never experienced this with Laurie, or any woman for that matter.

He’s never experienced the push and pull, the give and take during intimacy, not like this, not on this scale anyway. You quite literally steal his breath away, even from the moment he laid his blue orbs on you, he could sense an aura or purity that seemed to circle you. But even with that, you carried yourself like a woman who had life experience, a woman with a flirtatious nature who had suffered more than her fair share of hurt in her twenty years on this earth,

God, you’re only twenty, just a young woman fresh into the real adult world and you’re still ripe, his for the picking. He can feel his cock hardening even more so, it’s borderline painful but he continues to suckle on your sweet spot, one you didn’t even know was your sweet spot until a second ago. His teeth grazing the tender, soft and unblemished skin underneath your ear lobe.

A lewd and prolonged moan rolls off your tongue with ease as your body succumbs to him, allowing him to take you in whatever way, do whatever he wants. He’s clearly fantasised about this just as much if not more than you have and the proof is in the way he’s peppering kisses down to your collarbone. He’s trying to savour the moment but failing miserably, he’s rushing to shower you in kisses and love, to taste every inch of you. Almost as though he fears you’ll disappear in a second like a distant dream.

Well if it is a dream, he doesn’t ever want to wake up. You’re his new addiction. 

Without realising it, he hoists you up the wall and you mindlessly wrap your legs around his waist, your hands now digging into his shoulders as he blows air onto your bare breasts, hardening your nipples. 

“Please, Andy....” your incoherent moans and mumbles are nothing but pleas for him to keep up the endless teasing, still blowing air on your nipples before burying his head in the valley between your breasts and inhaling your natural scent that’s now mixed with his body wash. The mix of masculine and feminine is such a heavenly infusion that he hates to pull himself away, his eyes now looking into yours for the first time in god knows how long.

What once were dreamy blue orbs are now dark with lust, he’s drunk and high on your scent, your body, your presence, your taste. So much so that he could drown in it, something he’ll welcome happily. 

You notice his eyes flicker back down to your breasts, and without a warning his mouth finds it, latching onto your nipple without a care. He sucks, bites, teases and pulls at the hardened peak, making sure to draw more noises from you.

Ones that are so sinful but they are music to his ears as you arch into him, silently begging for more whilst he carries you into the master bedroom.

You feel the warmth of his body fade away as your back comes into contact with soft cotton sheets, Egyptian cotton to be exact. Fancy to suit Andy, a man with such high a calibre. 

He’s a lawyer, no detail of his lifestyle surprises you. He works hard for his money, he deserves to splash out on unnecessary items. But you also know that Laurie is one of those women, one who demands lavish without actually saying any words. 

Jacob is certainly more lucky than you were at his age and he’s not even aware of any different to how he’s growing up because all he’s known so far is money. He’s never had to go without. It’s something that brings you joy and resentment. You shouldn’t feel jealous yet you do anyway, he has what you always wanted. But somehow you know that how you grew up was supposed to happen, so you could appreciate every little thing. 

“I can’t get enough of you” Andy murmurs, his kisses trailing down your body until he’s at your mound and the little patch of hair that decorates it, you might be a virgin but shaving and keeping yourself trimmed has always been routine for you. It’s something you learnt about through friends growing up, when all of your friends were losing their virginity, you were reading, studying, doing everything but having sex. It helped you learn things though, without having to experience them for yourself.

Now, here in this room with Andy, you realise just what you’ve been missing out on all of this time. Though you’re thankful you waited until now. This moment is too special to wish you hadn’t have waited. 

Andy was always supposed to be the first.

“Then don’t” your response is telling enough, you’re pleading with him to never leave you, for his hands to never slip away, for his lips to never stop caressing yours not so gently. It’s your way of letting him know, he doesn’t have to give you up once Laurie returns, that you’ll be there for him regardless. 

As pathetic as it sounds, you’ll happily wait around for any open space to be with him, you’ll happily sneak a kiss whenever you can if that’s what you have to do and although you’re fully aware that in this moment you’re saying things that might seem crazy after, you can’t help it.

He brings it out of you.

“Who says i’ll ever stop?” his words leave a pleasant and full feeling in your stomach as it performs backflips, butterflies flutter in one by one. He feels the same way that you do. 

So you’re in agreement then, this won’t just be a one time thing.

“Can you be good for me and take what i give, sweetheart?”

More than a couple of heartbeats are skipped as you listen to him speak, his mouth moving as he talks to you in such a way that’s so kind yet so sexual, so hot yet so warm and gentle. 

“Yes”

“Good girl” 

The praise gives you a sense of achievement but it’s soon replaced by pleasure as his tongue licks a stripe from your tight hole to your clit, his beard a delicious burn to your soft and sensitive area.

“Fuck” you let slip, your hands suddenly gripping the sheets beneath you as his fingers rub at your pulsating clit before using his tongue again. His mouth takes over as he starts to suck on various different parts of your sex, unleashing new waves of pleasure upon you, you let it rain down on you without a care in the world. 

More lewd and loud moans follow as he attacks your cunt with feverish need, a need he just simply cannot let go of. You taste so good to him, like candy does to a kid when they try it for the first time. 

He wants more, but each taste proves to not be enough until he’s kissing, sucking, licking and even biting your pussy without relenting.

“Tastes so fucking good, sweetheart...mmmm, so good” his moans vibrate onto you and you arch once again, your hands moving to his hair, finding purchase there as you start to pull on the strands hard.

“Oh...” you start, draping your legs over his shoulders without realising before you raise them into the air, toes pointed like a ballerina, your orgasm creeping up on you slowly. “God, Andy, just like that. Don’t stop”

The chuckle of confidence in his ability to perform oral to perfection causes you to shift to catch the vibrations. 

It’s right there, that pool of ecstasy, you can almost taste it, it’s so close, within reach. You need it, you want it so badly that it pains you. Andy is the one that can take you there, you just need his mouth....right there.

“God, yes. I’m gonna....” the words barely have a chance to leave your mouth before you reach your peak, your hands now pulling so hard on his hair that it’s painful, yet he continues to work you through your high, easing a finger inside of you as his mouth slowly but surely eases off of your throbbing clit.

Your body jerks in his grip as his hands rub at your thighs, your toes curl and you jolt again as his nose accidentally brushes over your clit. 

As he removes his finger, you prop yourself up on your elbows to watch as he sucks on it hungrily, like a man starved and about to eat the last meal of his life. And you catch a small ounce of his attention, the glimpse of his face before he dives right back into your ocean, drinking from your pussy like it’s a water fountain. 

He just can’t get enough of your taste, it’ll never end, his desire for you. 

“How was that?” his cockiness is irritating yet you humour him anyway.

“Amazing, i want more” his lips trail their way back up to your lips, making pit stops along the way to show your breasts, collarbone, neck and jawline some more love before eventually reaching your eager mouth.

“The night has only just begun” he whispers, unsure of why he’s doing so since you have an empty house until Sunday. 

“What’s next?” you inquire seductively but before he has a chance to answer, the doorbell rings through the house.

You look toward the bedroom door before scooting off of the bed and slipping on Andy’s robe.

“I’ll get it” you announce to him before shuffling out of the room, legs like jelly as you make your way down the stairs to open the door. And when you do, It’s too late for Andy to realise it’s the food and the delivery driver holding your takeout bag of Chinese food has already sensed your sated state. He can smell the sex on you without even getting close, his smirk says it all.

“How much will it be?”  you ask, reaching for your bag on the hook.

“25.50 please” you dig out the correct change with an extra couple dollars for him as a tip for having to witness you like this, plus he’s a delivery boy, he probably doesn’t make a lot.

“Have a great night now, ma’am” he bids you farewell as you flash him a smile.

Once the door is closed and you turn around, Andy is leaning against the railing on the staircase.

“When you said you’d taken care of food, i thought you meant that you cooked”

“I didn’t want to waste any time cooking when i could have been spending that time being with you” his excuses make you giggle.

“More like you’d have preferred to have your head between my legs”

His over exaggerated gasp at your crass choice of words before he stalks toward you, taking the bag from your hand, it all gives you a domesticated vibe. Similar to one that you had a couple weeks back when he tasted the sauce you made for the spaghetti. Only this time, it’s heightened. 

His hand tugging at yours lets you know he wants to pick up where you left off but as you tut and snatch the bag back, he knows he’ll have to work harder.

“I’m a little hungry now....actually, i’m starving” you say, over acting to make it believable as you pad into the kitchen to collect plates and forks. You manage to lay everything onto the kitchen island before Andy is right behind you, spinning you around in his hold so that you’re almost dizzy. 

“That can wait” and just like that, he’s throwing you over his shoulder and ascending the stairs. The all too familiar bed sheets touch your back as Andy throws you onto the bed, you don’t get much time to speak though as before you can even contemplate opening your mouth to unleash some sarcastic and sexual comment, he’s on top of you, hands either side of your head.

Dark and lust filled orbs bore into yours, causing nerves to wrack your entire body whilst his knee nudges your legs apart, signalling to you what he wants.

You’re being thrown into the deep end, the unknown, and this could go two ways. Either you stop him before he even gets started due to being scared of potential pain, or you could really enjoy this and all you know now is that no matter what happens after tonight, you’ll always look back on this moment and know exactly how you felt about Andy. 

In this moment your feelings are real, despite what everyone else might think if they were to be made aware.

Andy reaches over to his night stand, taking a condom out of the drawer before resting it on top of the stand.

His left hand pulls on the tie on your -his- robe, and suddenly you’re exposed again. The power of his stare convinces you to be comfortable, it tells you he loves every single inch of your body regardless of what you might think about yourself.

As soon as the robe has been discarded onto the floor without a care, his fingers trail across your skin and more goosebumps form, covering you head to toe. 

Just a little lower.

You plead silently, needing him to touch you right where you’re aching, right where your pulse point is, right on your sex. It’ll ease the continuous burning fire. Or maybe it’ll ignite a bigger one, who knows at this point?

He can make your body feel things you never thought possible, even your heart. Even in your wildest dreams you never thought you’d ever let a man see your true self, let them in enough to see your soul. Andy did it with such ease it was scary, but laying underneath him now, his attention solely on you, you know it’s better to love and lose than to have never loved at all. 

Love is a strong word, sure, but is that what this is? 

Sometime it sneaks upon you and you have no control over it, and sometimes it doesn’t always hurt. 

Andy is not Kyle, Andy is not Kyle, Andy is not Kyle.

Not all guys are out to break hearts and take names. Some guys are true men, they know what a woman wants and needs without having to ask, and Andy is the true definition of a man. 

“You like it when i touch you here?” he asks, moving his hand to graze across your petal like folds, spreading them apart and earning a whisper-like moan from you. God it feels so good when he touches you, it’s like you enter a whole other dimension. One where you feel sexy, one where you feel on top of the world, like nothing and no one could ever disturb your peace. 

Andy is the key to your peace. You just hope that you’re the key to his.

“Yes” you urge for him to continue, just a little more pressure.

Two thick digits circle your entrance slowly before sliding in, easing you into it. But the moment you shudder and groan from the uncomfortable nature of it all, Andy withdraws one finger. It takes a couple of pumps, his finger dragging in and out, for you to get used to the feeling before he can add the second. 

Andy’s eyes never leave your face as he watches your reaction to his fingers dragging along your walls, scissoring you open to help prepare you for the real thing. 

If sex is as pleasurable as this and as special too, you know you won’t regret a thing. 

Your hips begin to move on their own accord, rolling and bucking up as you feel your next orgasm impending, the wave so close to crashing onto your shore that you barely have time to prepare yourself. The second his thumb presses onto your clit, the pulse quickens under his touch and you have no other option but to give in to the feeling and allow yourself to come undone. 

Your hand grips his bicep, squeezing hard as you wriggle and writhe underneath him. He is the first man to take you apart, to pleasure you and you don’t think you’ve ever felt this euphoric. In fact, you doubt that after tonight, you ever will. Unless that mans name is Andy Barber, he can’t bring you to your knees or cause your heart to race. 

It all sounds so crazy, romance novel-esque. This whole thing.

Yourself and Andy falling for each other and being unable to control it reminds you a lot of the book Birthday Girl by Penelope Douglas. It gives you an unattainable fantasy romance feel, yet it is attainable because here he is, looking down at you with pure adoration and care.

Andy’s touch leaves your skin and you find yourself aching for more but once he gets off the bed and it becomes clear he’s undressing himself, you don’t mind parting ways.

You lay on your side, resting your head on your hand as your other drapes over your hip. Whilst Andy makes a start on his shirt by tugging at his tie to loosen it before removing it completely. Next to go are the buttons on his shirt, one by one you watch the top half of his god like body come into view. Even with the small glimpse you got during swimming all those weeks ago, you still feel your heart flutter as the shirt drops to the floor. His toned torso and biceps cause your clit to pulsate uncontrollably but as soon as he removes his dress pants, you feel that pulse point reach new levels. 

Andy looks at you through his eyelashes seductively as you watch his hands hook into his boxers, getting ready to pull them down. 

Sensing that he might be a little nervous to reveal the last part of him, you crawl toward him and where he’s stood, at the foot of the bed. And with your hand on his, his ease settles in. 

He slides them down and off, kicking them to the side before standing tall as he watches your eyes assess his manhood. This isn’t how you pictured him to look, in fact he’s exceeded all expectations for you. Though you have to admit, his size intimidates you, you already feel completely comfortable and relaxed around him. He would never make you go through with this if you were to change your mind, but you can’t see that ever happening.

With your confidence rising immensely, you shuffle off of the bed, wasting no time in wrapping your hand around him, barely.

Andy sucks in a breath at the cold touch but he soon groans as you lick your hand before pumping him slowly. 

“F....fuck, sweetheart” his erotic noises bounce off of the walls, spurring you on whilst you start to suck on the tip, ridding it of the pre cum that leaked out during your foreplay. 

“Does it feel good?” you ask in between sucking and pumping, his gasp and nod let you know that he loves everything you’re doing. So, for your first time you’ve pretty much mastered it.

However, actions aren’t enough alone, you wanna hear him say it.

“Tell me how good it feels, i want to hear it” you remove your tongue from him before lowering down to his balls. You lick both of them as you watch him, watching you.

Every time his mouth opens to speak, the pleasure overwhelms him to the point of rendering him speechless. You’re skilled at this, something he most definitely was not expecting when you revealed your virginity to him.

“It feels....”  he starts, you take one of his balls into your mouth, sucking before licking up the base of his cock. “It feels....so fucking good” his loud and guttural moan fills your ears, it blows up your non existent ego. To know that you, a twenty year old virgin, can bring an older man like Andy such pleasure, it’s a great feeling.

Your hands take his as you take him in your mouth, you move his hands to the back of your head, allowing him to grip onto your hair if need be. And boy does he take full advantage of your consent for that one.

His fingers grip at the strands so hard, it should almost be painful. But you’re too consumed by the taste of his cock in your mouth, every inch proving more difficult than the last to take but you continue on, wanting nothing more than to prove yourself to him. You want him to see you taking it all, every thick, vein covered inch. 

“Look at me, sweetheart” he rasps, voice gruff as he uses one hand to lift your head up, the other remains in your hair. His hips snap as he thrusts in and out of you agonisingly slow. 

But once your eyes meet his, something changes within him, that look in his eyes turn darker than ever before. Just the view of you with your perfect lips wrapped around his cock is too much to handle and he knows that if he doesn’t stop now, he’ll end up coming right in your mouth before he can even fuck your virgin pussy. He knows he has all weekend to use your skilful mouth. 

He eases you off by resting his hands on your shoulders.

“You look so fucking pretty on your knees for me, did you like sucking my cock, baby?”

You nod innocently before kissing the tip of his cock “yes” your voice nothing but a squeak before he reaches down to wrap his arms around your waist with ease. He lifts you up, earning a squeal from you as he throws you to the bed with a growl of how badly he wants you.

As you land, he’s picking up the condom, biting off the top of the wrapper to retrieve it before spitting it out and discarding the rest to the floor, all whilst he slides the condom down his shaft. 

Something that shouldn’t have turned you on, yet why do you feel the pool between your legs growing to an ocean as he does something so normal. Maybe it was the dominance that exuded as he did it, the way he threw you to the bed, the way he opened the wrapper, the growl, the way he spat the top of the wrapper out, the way he slid that condom down every inch of his impressive manhood. 

It’s time for you to face it, this man could genuinely do anything and you’d get turned on, you’d find some way to sexualise it.

His body is perfect, his face is perfect and his cock.... well that’s perfect too. 

There’s not an inch of this man you could ever fault.

He’s perfect. Now you’re even more confused-having experienced his oral skills for yourself-as to why Laurie has been rejecting his advances all this time. It makes no sense. 

“You ready, sweetheart?” he asks, moving so that his tip is nudging at your entrance, his hands are either side of your head, his one hand brushing random strands of hair out of your face as his eyes admire you.

“I need you” your plea is more than enough for him to guide himself inside of you, pushing whilst he watches your face.

The sting ripples through your body as he stretches you open to accommodate his size, a welcome intrusion.

“An.....Andy” you tremble gripping onto his biceps all the more, “i’ve got you, i’ll go slow” he reassures, kissing your forehead to comfort and calm you and as your breathing slows his hand lowers to your sex, fingers rubbing firmly on your clit.

Another hum of appreciation escapes your mouth and Andy coos as he feels your pussy contract around him, easing at the feel of him stretching you. He’s so big, so thick, this was always going to hurt.

“Shh, there she is, there’s my girl” his words have you clamping down at the seductive nature, his tone of voice far from innocent yet it soothes you all the same as what a simple cuddle would.

Andy can’t believe this is even happening, is he really taking your virginity? Is he supposed to feel something other than pleasure or lust or even attraction? Is he supposed to be feeling guilty or awful? Because if so then there are no traces of either feeling right now, right now all he can think of is you, your body, and the way you help him relax head to toe. 

He doesn’t have to be anyone other than his goofy self when he’s alone with you, you bring out the best in him.

You make him feel young, free, and Andy can’t remember the last time he threw his head back laughing around Laurie, as sad as that realisation makes him. 

However, Laurie isn’t here and you are. And you’re all he wants right here in this moment, he could spend forever worshipping your body, tangled in these sheets. 

Feeling your arms struggle to cling to something as he begins to pick up his pace, feeling your pussy muscles flutter around him deliciously, he knows you’re getting used to him.

“I need more” you whine, lolling your head to the side, your invitation to him to give you more.

Andy happily obliges, burying his head in the crook of your neck. You feel him inhale, your natural scent mixed with his body wash, the mixture turning the dial up on his obsession. His feverish and animalistic side comes out to play, as you reach your hand down to rest over his as it rubs over your pulse point. 

His head lifts, his forehead resting to your own as you stare deep into each others eyes, words needn’t be spoken, his stare is enough. It tells you everything.

Grunts, growls, groans and moans, along with every curse word known to man, it all fills the space as Andy takes you apart with his cock, the same cock that you’re almost certain God was hands on with when crafting. He took extra care with Andy Barber. 

The pressure of his body on top of yours, the fanning of his breath on your face, the noises, it’s heavenly and you could spend forever like this with him.

Although you should be feeling guilty for what the two of you are partaking in behind Laurie’s back, guilt is the last thing on your mind. All you can think about now is how badly you need to come, along with the desperate yearning you have to please him, to make certain that Andy reaches his peak too.

You’ve never had this intense feeling before, to want to do things for a man, to want to be around them, be the focus of their attention. Usually you’re the one backing away as all the other girls hog the spotlight, and looking back in hindsight, you realise just how little you thought of yourself back then. That along with your confidence being knocked by Kyle, you’ve been through the ringer. 

Then along came Andy Barber, a man you shouldn’t be attracted to but are regardless of all of the signs steering you away, nothing has deterred you.

His stare makes you feel like you’re on a stage, a thousand eyes on you, it’s intimidating, nerve wracking and blinding yet thrilling and the rush your body receives from just a few measly seconds is crazy.

You shiver as he trails his fingers along the curves of your body, his touch as light as a feather, so effortless yet it leaves such a huge empty space in its wake as it leaves without a trace. 

And you soon discover that now you’re used to him touching you in this way, is there any way to go back to normal once Laurie and Jacob return? It doesn’t seem possible. 

The velvety purr of his voice rings in your ear as he starts to pick his pace up “you’re being so good for me, baby....” a grunt follows as he hooks his arms underneath yours, along with your shoulders “god i love the way that little pussy wraps around me”

A lawyer with such a foul mouth, is there anything about this man that doesn’t make you ache for him?

“Oh yeah? Like the way my tight pussy feels?” you say as you pull him down to you by his shoulders, your lips grazing his jawline as you pepper kisses there, before making your way up to the special spot just below his earlobe. It’s the spot you read about in a magazine a while ago, it’s rumoured that this is how you drive a man crazy. And judging by the way his mouth goes slack against your shoulder as you start to kiss, suck and bite the delicate skin, you know that article got it spot on. Your actions are sure to leave marks for everyone to see tomorrow, not that either of you care for that right now.

Dirty talk has never been something you were completely confident in trying, bu as you whisper seductively “the way my un-fucked pussy feels? How does it feel knowing you’re the first man to have me in this way, baby?” his breathing hitches and he shivers like an 18 year old boy about to blow his load early. You know you have him right where you want him, perhaps this dirty talking thing isn’t so scary after all.

Andy can’t believe his ears, you’re so fucking perfect. How can someone so innocent exude such sexual confidence and speak such filth? Whatever it is, whatever has given you this sudden surge in assertiveness, he prays to himself that it never ends. 

Your mouth speaking such words forces him closer to that cliff edge of pleasure, he can feel himself on the verge of falling any minute. 

Your hands are everywhere, gripping, nails digging in, finding purchase where possible. Then next they are fisting the sheets below as he loses all ability to go slow and steady with you. But judging by the noises you’re creating, you’re loving every second of his hips snapping into you aggressively.

“You turn me into an animal, you know that right?” he nudges you so that you look at him but in truth, your eyes haven’t left his, even in your peripheral vision, you’re locked onto him. 

Even when he’s out of sight, even when you’re out with friends or at college, Andy is all that runs through your brain, you’re corrupted. And now, after tonight, he’ll have truly ruined you for any other men, not that seeing any other men would ever be an option to you. He’s the only one. 

Even if in the back of your mind you know that this could never last or go past a point of sex and secrecy, you somehow know that it’ll be better than nothing. Even if it means going behind the backs of people who have come to trust you. Because truthfully, you wouldn’t just be lying to Laurie or hurting her if she found out, but you’d be betraying your family too because they’d hate you for doing something so wrong. 

Although it doesn’t feel wrong to you, and it especially doesn’t feel wrong to Andy. He wants you, you want him, what’s so complicated and forbidden? Attraction isn’t optional, catching feelings isn’t optional either. It’s nobodies fault but God’s, he set this up, you know he did.

The two of you are just acting upon said attractions and urges, it’s like there has been this magnetic pull ever since you first said hi to one another. At the risk of sounding repetitive, it’s been there for a while. In all honesty, you’re surprised the two of you even lasted as long as you did before even kissing, let alone making love like this.

“I could say the same thing to you” you smirk, wrapping your arms around his neck loosely, your ankles hook around his waist as he spears into you relentlessly. 

He can feel you spasming around him erratically, a tell tale sign that your close. Along with your back arching off of the bed as your nails claw at the top of his back.

“Gonna come for me, huh?” he urges, the punishing grip on your hip bound to leave a bruise but somehow you’d let him scatter bruises, hickeys and bite marks all over you. It’ll leave you with something to hold onto late at night, when Laurie inevitably returns. Whilst she’s sleeping next to Andy, you’ll be downstairs covered in his markings, proving you as his and his only, the feel and taste of him lingering on your skin for days maybe even weeks to come. 

“Yes, please, don’t stop. It feels so good” you beg, your body moving on it’s own accord in time with his thrusts, the two of you developing a rhythm far from steady. It’s fast, desperate and needy. 

Sweat droplets form all over your bodies as you cling to each other for dear life. 

The orgasm creeps up behind you, taking you without a warning as you shudder in his hold, your body going taut as it ripples through you like a wave. 

Andy’s thrusts continue as he whispers sweet nothings to ease you through the intense feeling, his thumb caressing your cheek as he cups it, his lips dusting across yours, an act filled with tenderness. You barely feel the light pressure until he pulls away and your eyes open, you pull him back for more. 

Your tongue darts out to lick over his plump bottom lip before he takes over, his position changing as he sits up on his knees, his hands prying your legs further apart.

“What are you...Oh god” your shriek was probably just heard by all neighbours and even then Andy doesn’t care, maybe he’s really given up with Laurie after all.

That’s the only logical explanation for his lack of interest in how loud your noises are, even he is living care free. He’s lapping up all of your attention, urging you to talk dirty, to make more of those sounds he adores. 

You’re very vocal in bed, and that’s the complete opposite of the lover he expected you to be. Well, to be truthful, at first he saw you as the secretly dirty type, one of those girls who portrayed this good girl act but behind closed doors and under the sheets you were the opposite. But then you disclosed your virginity, and all fantasies changed. 

However, after some warming up, some foreplay and much needed time together, he’s brought you out of your shell and introduced you to this whole other world, a world where you can feel pleasure you never believed existed. 

“Milk me baby...” your walls clamp down around him over and over, between the intense pounding of his cock spearing into you and the dirty talk, you can feel another high approaching and you know he’s so close it’s unbearable. You want to make him feel good, you need to make him feel good.

“Come for me, Andy” you spur him on, cupping his face as you keep your eyes trained on one another, it’s so intimate yet so rough, you love it. 

Men like this don’t exist outside of this house, they just don’t. Andy is a standalone, no one can ever compare, no one is like him. And as you watch his face scrunch up, his mouth hang slack and all the muscles on his body contort, you realise, you’re falling for him. 

It’s irreversible now.

He empties himself into the condom, his hips faltering before halting all movement and moving to lay down next to you. His hand finds yours as you both pant, taking in the events that just occurred.

Without a word you turn to curl into his side, your head resting on his chest, his heart beating out of control underneath you. 

Yours is the same and you just know he can hear it.

Minutes seem to pass like seconds, until the silence is interrupted by the loud grumble of your stomach, followed by Andy’s. 

The two of you burst into childish laughter, giggling like teenagers before making a move to go rectify your starvation, all of that sex, all of that exercise, you’ve earnt this Chinese takeout. Or at least that’s what you’re going to tell yourself as you stuff the noodles into your mouth, it helps with the food shame, okay?

Andy slips back into his boxers whilst you pick up his previously discarded white dress shirt, shoving your hands into the sleeves and doing a couple of buttons up, you’re blissfully unaware of Andy’s eyes glued to you.

The way the shirt fits you, without fitting you properly, it’s perfect... you are perfect. In every way possible, something he thought only existed in fairy tales, your flaws are merely more reasons for him to want you. 

Your bare, make up free morning face, your bed hair, your dorky and cute pyjamas, all of these things mould into one with your sassy attitude, your defiance, your independence.

Sure, independence is something he should welcome with open arms, but when it comes to you, it’s a blessing and a curse. You’re so used to doing things for yourself that you struggle to let help in.

Your lack of confidence is another. He’s happy to be the one to fix what others mishandled and shattered-including yourself-but he hates seeing how little you think of yourself. 

They aren’t even flaws, they are qualities he adores. Dammit, he’s falling.

“I’ll heat the food up, you sit here, okay?” Andy suggests as you enter the kitchen, gesturing to a chair at the dining room table but instead you hoist yourself up onto the kitchen island, sitting there, upright with your legs dangling over the edge, closed.

“Or you can just sit there” he mumbles, walking around you to take all of the food out to heat it up, it doesn’t take that long.

He hands you a fork first before passing you your food and you dig in without even waiting for him to join. 

As Andy takes a seat on a chair facing you directly, you’re unaware, happily sucking your noodles into your mouth like spaghetti, making a mess all over your chin as you go. You look up innocently, eyes finding his instantly, and the smile his blue orbs give you makes your lips curl up too.

“What?” you ask, feigning offence from his laughing.

“Nothing....it’s just, you’ve got a bit of sauce on your chin” 

Immediately you wipe around “is it gone?” you ask, his laughter answers your question so you try again before asking him.

You open your mouth to speak, but quickly get shut down as Andy stalks toward you, parting your legs with his knee so that he can stand in between them, and using his thumb to swipe the sauce from you chin. His face is so close to yours and you can’t help but feel the sexual chemistry sizzling in the air, and you know that now you’ve crossed that line, it’ll be hard for things not to be different. It’ll also be hard to be in such close proximity to him, feel the crackling in the air, the magnetic pull and not be able to act upon it like you can now. 

His thumb drifts from your chin to your lip as he glides it over your bottom lip ever so slightly but you quickly catch him before he pulls away by taking it into your mouth to suck on. Your action catches Andy off guard as he sucks in a breath at the feel of you sucking his thumb, it’s such bizarre act, yet so erotic.

What has he turned you into?

You pull off with a pop, fluttering your eyelashes as you look up at him through them.

Seduction 101, eye contact.

He swallows and his Adam’s apple bobs. Suddenly the animalistic urges have returned, or more accurately they’ve risen to the surface, bubbling to remind you just how little control you have over how your body reacts to him.

Your chests rising and falling as you struggle to keep the heavy breathing at bay.

His lips caress yours gently, barely even touching until you arch into him, giving him the signal to give you more. And it’s not long before it gets heated, teeth, tongues and hands roaming. 

Every spark in your body turns into flames as he ignites them with his touch, and taste. Goosebumps dance down your spine as Andy’s lips make their way to your neck, sucking to leave you with more marks in remembrance of this night. This very special night.

Teeth nipping at your soft flesh, moving downward to your collarbone, it’s heaven on earth. The open mouthed, greedy kisses he graces you with are sending your body into over drive, your pussy dripping with arousal for him and him only. The only man to ever make you feel this way.

“Andy” you breathe, needing his attention on one spot in particular, you’ll beg if you have to you. 

Now that he’s awakened you, sexually that is, you know that this will be your brand new addiction, one you’re not intent on kicking. 

“Yes, sweetheart?” his head lifts momentarily, inhaling your scent as he does so, before his eyes land on yours. 

His are dark, lustful, desperate. They tell you he’s held back for too long with you and that while you’re all alone together, he’s gonna fuck you every which way, worship every single inch of your body and show you just how he feels.

After all, actions do speak louder than words, and right now, as his thumb and forefinger trace your softened nipples through your -his- shirt, you know just how he’s feeling, and what he wants.

“Please” you beg, pathetically. You’re at his disposal, here for him to take advantage of, but you have urges too. 

He doesn’t respond, only plants sloppy and open mouthed kisses to your chest as he slowly works his way down to the valley between your breasts. The feel of his devious tongue working wonders everywhere but the place you need him the most is torturous, evil. It’s not a need anymore, not even a desperation.

It’s a hunger, starvation at its finest. 

His movements halt as he breathes you in, allowing himself to be close to you for a second. But all of that changes the second his mouth latches onto your right nipple through the shirt, the suction, the attention, you can feel it hardening in his filthy mouth. The shirt growing wetter and wetter with each lap. of his tongue. He’s not helping with the arousal dripping from you right now, if anything he’s making it worse, and it’s getting more and more unbearable as each second ticks by. Especially since he’s in between your legs, preventing you from squeezing them together.

Your breathing grows shallow, as you struggle to inhale, your body reacting to his every move. This body belongs to him now, it’s not even your own. 

It’s crazy how he must have watched you for god knows how long, studied every curve, every tiny detail. And in that time it’s like he learnt what makes your body tick, what makes you tick. From the special spots that he presses his plump pink lips to, to the way that he holds you. It’s like you don’t even have to do a thing, he does all of the heavy lifting and you’re just along for the ride. 

He’s so bewildered by you, in fact no, he’s enamoured, smitten even. Hell, he can’t put it into words. You’re something else entirely, you make him feel younger, sexier and you react to the tiniest of touches. You give him the pleasure he’s been craving and more importantly, you make him happy.

It’s wrong, it’s wrong, it’s wrong.

This is something he’s battled himself with for a long time, holding himself back. But screw holding back, he just wants to love you the way you deserve to be loved. Your body is a fucking temple, it deserves to be worshipped, every soft, unblemished, perfect inch. 

Oh the days where he’d stare at you in your booty shorts and fist his hand in order to gain control over himself or the days where he’d walk out as you were leaving the bathroom in nothing but a towel. He recalls being rock hard for almost the entire day after those little run ins, he had to wait all day to fist his cock in the shower, pumping himself fast at the mental image of you. 

You’ve crawled beneath his skin, consumed his every waking thought. You’re a little menace, the devil in disguise. 

But you belong to him, and he’ll be the one to decide just how to punish you for your bad behaviour. 

As you arch into him, sinful moans rolling off of your tongue one after the other, along with gasps every time he bites down on your now pert nipples, his cock jumps in his boxers, begging for freedom. 

“Andy....god, just like that” you murmur, barely coherent.

Your hand grips the back of his neck as you wrap your legs around his waist, using that to pull him closer. 

“What was that, sweetheart?”

“Keep going, it feels so good” you continue, wanting him to put his mouth right on your body again.

He then moves his attention to the other nipple, it’s already hard for him, he can see it through the shirt. He smiles as he looks up at you, his hand grabbing a handful of your other breast whilst his mouth is attached to the left one. 

But as he looks at the mess he’s made to one of his favourite shirts, he knows there’s only one option, to take it off.

“I need to see you, properly” he grumbles, undoing it one button at a time, but he can barely contain his excitement as he rips the shirt open, ruining it entirely. He has too many of them anyway. 

As soon as you’re revealed to him in all of your glory, he takes a step back to admire you. To drink you in, head to toe, you’re a goddess and he’s silently counting his blessings.

You feel heat rise up your neck and to your cheeks as you struggle to survive underneath his stare but you feel sexy nonetheless.

His mouth attacks your breasts once more, with no shirt to get in the way now. Though he can’t complain about you wearing it, it looked so good on you.

All of this attention is almost too much. If he doesn’t touch your pussy soon, you’ll need to take matters into your own hands.

“Touch me” you instruct, panting as your body moves for him before his hands pull you closer to the edge of the counter. 

You gasp at the quick movement and as he pulls from your breasts, you know you’re about to get just what you were wishing for.

“Touch you where, sweetheart. Use your big girl words” 

You lift your legs up in the air as you lay yourself back on the counter, presenting yourself to him.

Spread legs, naked and wet for him. He can see your pussy glistening even in this lighting, you look delicious.

“Fuck” he sighs, resting his hands on his hips as he admires your birthday suit, is there anything better than this?

“Touch me, here” you answer, reaching your hand down to your pussy and slowly touching it for him, rubbing it a little as he steps closer. He takes your hand in his, moving it away from your sex and intertwining your fingers with his as he dives into your ocean, no warning. 

The delicious scratch of his full beard against your most sensitive area, the way it drags along your pussy, it causes more arousal to form as he sucks up what was previously there.

“Tastes so fucking good, i can’t get enough” his grunts, continuing on, watching you every couple seconds. There’s just something about the way your face changes as he pleasures you, it satisfies him greatly. That and the noises you make, the pretty little music that escapes your mouth.

“God...Andy, please” you jolt, still relatively sensitive from the first time, your tight hole still sore from his welcomed intrusion. His tongue makes it all better again, lapping over your folds to soothe you, his tongue firm yet gentle all at once. 

You can feel the pulse point in your clit begging for attention as he nudges it with his nose whilst drinking from your never ending water fountain, slurping up everything you have to offer as if he’s quenching a thirst that refuses to disappear.

“Tell me how much you like it, baby, i want to hear you say it. Don’t stop making those pretty noises for me”

You clench around nothing as his fingers circle your entrance, awaiting your response.

“I love it, i love the way you eat my pussy, Andy” his eyes darken, if that’s even possible as he lowers again, his eyes locked on yours as his hands push your legs back. His mouth sucks and slurps at you, his beard scratching at you and leaving marks again. It tickles and irritates you simultaneously, but to have him right there, kissing you, sucking you and biting you where you need him the most, you’ll take anything that comes with it.

God it feels so good, his mouth on you like a man possessed as he shakes his head to rattle you all the more. You shiver and jolt at the change as he eases two fingers into you, taking time to prepare you.

“S’tight for me” he rasps, voice hoarse from all of the moaning from round one, you can’t even believe he’s already at you again, he just can’t stay away. 

Now he’s had a sip, he’ll refuse to leave you be for the rest of the weekend. 

“Ah, shit” you prop yourself up on your elbows, wanting nothing more than to watch the man in action, and watching him is ten times hotter than just feeling it. Because his dreamy orbs find yours and he winks as he licks up from where his fingers are buried to your clit. He’s yet to pay it any attention this time around but as you bite down on your lip, he caves.

His lips clamp down on it as his tongue flicks across it rapidly, skilful in every way. This right here, is a true man. 

He’s been around the block a couple times, got a kid, he more than knows how to love a woman’s body, how to make you drip with arousal in no time and as his fingers pick up a pace that is so punishing, you drop back to the cold hard counter before arching off, the moment growing more intense. Your orgasm just around the corner.

“Can feel you fluttering around my fingers, sweetheart, come for me”

Lewd moans escape as you cry out for him, calling his name, calling for god, calling out curse words galore. It feels so good to be loved by him, touched by him.

The way he’s curling his fingers inside of you, scissoring you open as his mouth continues to suck on your clit without relenting, it’s all too much. 

“Andy” you mumble, trying to take on all of this pleasure.

Your mind just can’t process what’s going on as you cry his name whilst your orgasm tears through you, the toe curling kind. 

Your eyes roll back at the feel of him still attacking your sensitive pussy, drinking you dry before coming up for air. 

Andy watches your naked chest rise and fall, your legs shaking ever so slightly, enough for him to notice the effect his mouth has had on your body.

You look up to find him sucking your sweet juices off of his fingers, making sure to get every last drop before sauntering back to you and leaning over to capture your lips in a sloppy kiss. His tongue dominating yours, the taste of yourself is something so good, so taboo yet you love it anyway. Does this ever end, this sexual chemistry, this attraction?

You hope not.

No words are spoken as he wraps your body around his to lift you off of the counter and as soon as your bare feet touch the wooden floor, you sink to your knees for him.

“Let me make you feel good” your eyelashes flutter up at him, innocently. Your hand grasps his cock through the material of his boxers before your tongue drags across it seductively.

Your need to please him is so attractive and it’s been a long time since a woman focused on his needs, specifically. And now here a young pretty little thing is, on your knees for him, like a true whore, who is he to complain?

Now it’s his turn to suffer the torture as you continue to go at him over his boxers.

However, Andy refuses to play fair as he pulls them down for you, stepping out of them before wrapping his large hands into your hair, forming a makeshift pony tail for you as you open your mouth wide for him.

The feel of him entering your mouth and forcing his way down your throat, it’s making you more excited to feel him inside of your pussy again. After all, he does own it. 

“Shit” he sucks in a breath through his teeth, his head falling back as his eyes roll, your tongue is his biggest weakness, and he hates that you know it, but he also loves it. The warmth of your mouth, he never wants to be without it. 

The only thoughts crossing his mind are all of the ways he can sneak around with you after this weekend, so that he doesn’t ever have to live without you. As fucked up as that sounds, but it’s been established ever since you stepped out of that shower earlier, that you wouldn’t be able to keep away, regardless of whatever you both say. And Andy is tired of playing the role of doting husband and father with no one to be there for him.

With every movement of your mouth around him, he can feel himself getting closer and he can’t allow himself to come when he’s not even fucked you again. He wants to feel your walls around him at least one last time tonight. 

His hand wraps around your wrist as he pulls you off of him and up to your feet.

“Why did you stop me?” you whine, you were just starting to get a rhythm going, not to mention you were really enjoying hearing him moan the way he was, it was the hottest thing you’ve ever had the pleasure of hearing. 

“If i’d have let you continue, sweetheart, there’d be no time for this” and with that he spins you around and bends you over the counter aggressively.

The sound of him spitting down onto his hand before he massages your pussy to guide himself in, bare, no condom.

“No condom, sir?” you inquire, voice low and sexual as you wiggle your ass at him, you’re gaining more confidence as each minute ticks by and he’s the one to blame, he’s turned you into a promiscuous little thing.

“Not right now, i just need to feel you...oh god” he groans, seating himself to the hilt inside of you, your pussy fluttering happily at his return but the sting from how sore he made you earlier joins the party. 

However, pleasure overrules pain. 

His mean and vice like grip on your hips is bound to leave a bruise as he pulls out of you so slowly that you only feel it when the void he leaves behind racks your entire body. But as he picks you up, laying you back down onto the counter before slamming in again and pulling your hips down to meet his thrust, you feel complete again. 

“Andy” you fall back down against the kitchen counter, your hands searching for something to grip onto, but failing. He lifts your legs up so that they are draped over his shoulders, his hands underneath your ass to lift you ever so slightly, the new angle making it easier for him to hit that soft spongy spot deep within you, the spot that can make you crumble in a matter of seconds. 

You just don’t want this to end, and you know that your orgasm will lead to his and his will lead to this being over but you’re enjoying it more than you can ever put into words. Being intimate with Andy is like walking on clouds, everything comes so naturally for you despite it being your first time with any man. It’s the same with everything else, you’ve never had to try too hard with Andy. 

Conversation always came easy, you instantly felt comfortable. Intimacy with him is something you want to drag out for as long as you can.

“Don’t hold back, i want you to relax” you know exactly what he means, it’s like he’s able to read your mind or something. You just hope he doesn’t follow, domino effect style.

As you reach your hands up to cup his face, your mouth goes slack, your eyes look deep into his and you feel it starting at your toes, working its way up. It’s going to be a long night you say to yourself in your mind.

The second the orgasm tears through you aggressively and you cry out.

“I’m coming, Andy”

He hovers above you, cooing and soothing you by brushing your hair out of your face. The look in his eyes is one of authenticity and attraction that runs a lot deeper than just looks. He sees your soul, your true self and he more than likes what he sees.

It’s too soon to call it love, but you’re catching feelings and it’s unstoppable, Andy knows it too. Despite it being wrong. You’ve fought off men for so long, sworn off dating and allowed the universe to give you someone worthy of your love and this sacred part of yourself. Years later, the universe presented Andy. 

Is this the sign of fate? Possibly.

You ride out your high with Andy supporting you through it, and suddenly you find yourself in the air, wrapped up in Andy’s strong hold as he carries you through the kitchen, into the foyer and up the stairs to the master bedroom. 

“If you think a couple orgasms will satisfy me, then you have another thing coming...” next thing you know, you’re on your stomach, his hands holding your arms behind your back, the grip is punishing and unrelenting “....because i’m about to fuck you until i’m satisfied with the amount of orgasms i’ve drawn from this pretty pussy of yours” oh god, you’ve officially awoken the animal inside of Andy Barber. No complaints.

He uses one hand to hold your arms behind you whilst the other wraps your hair around his fist before using his grip to pull you back so that you’re touching his toned chest. The heat emanating from his body is so welcoming, so homely. Yet his demeanour as of right now, is everything but.

His thick and sinful digits slide in front, the two of them creeping toward the place that weeps for him the most. You think that you’ve awoken something in him but he’s done the same to you, you’re officially a sex goddess. Well, in Andy’s eyes anyway.

He breathes heavily and your hair moves as he does so, hence why he brushes your hair to the other side, allowing himself access to your exposed neck. 

His teeth nip at the delicate skin before blowing more air on that same spot “you want it, sweetheart?” his grip on your arms yields as his other hand moves to grope the addictive round globes of your ass, the perky feature stealing all of his attention. On the other side of your body, Andy’s fingers are working their usual magic, grazing them across your clit with ease as if he’s barely even trying, yet it feels as though he is. The pressure is just right, not too light, not too firm.

But as you wriggle against him-the feel of him everywhere on your body, your neck, your ass, your pussy, your shoulders, and back-you can’t help the assertive side of you from taking over as it runs with ease through your blood. Like second nature. And this is only the start of your sexual journey, your path to heaven. 

Out of nowhere you fall forward, Andy’s hands being responsible. Your face and chest are pushed into the mattress as he grips your hips to pull your ass, positioning you just for his own pleasure. Not that you’d mind, if he likes what he sees, who would you be to refuse him?

Plus, he makes you feel sexy, irresistible and nobody can ever make you feel the way he does. He could charm you into doing anything, as sad as that makes you look. But there’s no shame in it. 

“Please” is all you can muster up as you feel him spread your legs open, wide. God his hands on your ass, is everything, it sends a tingle up your spine, goosebumps cover you like a second layer of skin.

And as he slaps your ass cheeks, hard, you giggle. You can’t help it, maybe that’s the masochist in you finally making her grand entrance, you get off on the pain of his slaps. It makes you wonder how far that will go with the two of you?

Would Andy ever be into choking?

Oh god, look at yourself. You only lost your virginity tonight and you’re already thinking of all the endless possibilities, all the things he could do to your body.

“Please what? I wanna hear you ask for it” slap. His hands on your ass cheeks, a soreness already developing, looks like you won’t be sleeping on your back tonight. Fine by you.

“P....please fuck me” you ask, putting on your politest tone, in hopes he’ll just give in to your whines.

“So polite, such good manners for a slut” and with that he slams in, you jerk up the bed with a loud and guttural moan, unable to keep it quiet. You just hope you don’t wake the neighbours because this time around, you just know it’s going to be wild. 

Rest in peace to your body,

----------------------

The morning sun cascades into the room through the bathroom unapologetically as you stir in your sleep, the sheets just below your breasts, covering the rest of you up away from Andy’s hungry gaze. 

He can’t help but watch you, naturally you draw him to you without realising. It’s your aura.

As you move and the sheets fall lower and lower, Andy’s tongue dips out to wet his lips, trying to prevent himself from taking action.

But the way your breasts look, your pert nipples look edible and your soft and glowing skin looks delicious.

To hell with waiting....

He gently peels the sheets from your body, as you lay there one arm above your head, your hair in disarray. You wriggle a little but remain asleep, thank god. If you’re going to wake up, he wants you to feel good instantly. 

Getting comfortable, Andy lays flat on his stomach before prying your legs open and kissing the inside of your thighs with passion. 

You wake to the feeling of something wet, down there. But you keep your eyes closed regardless, perhaps this is a dream. But the familiar feel of Andy’s tongue thrashing against your sensitive clit, is too good to miss. An endless stream of groans followed by a hum of appreciation alerts Andy of your consciousness, he immediately looks up to find your eyes glued to his, your arm over your mouth as you watch him intently.

This man is the most attractive man you’ve ever had the pleasure of laying your eyes upon and now you’re waking up to him between your legs, eating you for his breakfast as though you’re about to leave and never see one another again. 

He’s incredible, no extraordinary. And you don’t ever want this to stop.

The telling signs of your orgasm approaching make you want to reach down and grab onto his hair for dear life but you get a better idea.

Using all of your strength you flip the two of you over before making your way down to the thick and intimidating cock that sits pretty in between his legs. Without even speaking, you take all of him, gagging along the way.

“Fuck, Y/N” his raspy morning voice causing you to clench around nothing as your pussy flutters for him. The emptiness filling you but you know that you’ll be far too sore to welcome him back in any time soon. However, if it happened, it would be a pain you’d allow.

You rest one hand on his thigh as you pump him with the other, giving him everything he needs to start the day off right. 

Laurie isn’t back until Sunday and you intend on making the most of your time alone with Andy before then. You want to take full advantage of the hot lawyer who’s house is where you reside. 

Never in a million years did you ever picture this as your first time, yet you wouldn’t change it, not for anything. 

As you work him up, feeling the usual signs of is impending release, you look up at him, keeping his eyes on you the entire time. Watching his face contort with all the pleasure you’re providing, it’s too much for him and he’s barely holding on.

“You are unbelievable” he tells you, gripping your face in his hands as he pulls you off of him momentarily “just what will i do with you? Hm?” you widen your eyes, shake your head and go back to his cock, licking up the underside of him, tongue firm. 

He rolls his eyes back and he grips the sheets below with white knuckle force. You really are the definition of perfection. A word Andy doesn’t use loosely, but with you it’s the word he keeps coming back to. It’s the only one that does you justice.

The faint sound of the front door shutting instantly rings in your ear and you look over toward the bedroom door, Andy does too.

“Andy, Y/N” Laurie bellows from the bottom of the stairs, wondering where you could be. 

The time on the alarm clock reads 10:30am.

Suddenly the one thing that pops into your head is the shirt, the discarded shirt that Andy tore from you without a care and you already know the half eaten takeout is still on the counter and table. 

“Andy, Y/N” she calls again and you freeze in place, unable to breathe from the panic setting in. 

Andy has no idea what to do, ever since Laurie left yesterday it was as though a bubble was formed with the two of you locked safely inside. And now... that bubble has burst.

You glance over at Andy quickly, asking him silently for instructions on how to handle this because getting caught is not an option. 

But you know there is no where to hide, especially as you hear Laurie’s feet taking the stairs gradually. 

“Fuck” you say in unison, hushed tones.

----------------------------

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[rainbowsky]

Hey the post u made abt ggdd's advertisements was eye opening 😳 they must make a loooot of money thru that. But I know they both still are under contract (even tho gg sued his company I think?) and I was wondering if the majority of their salary goes to their respective company?

This is in reference to a previous post.

Fake, fan fiction, CPN.

I think it's very safe to assume that GG and DD (and their teams) hold enormous bargaining power when negotiating endorsement deals. They both have a strongly proven track record of commanding solid sales and brand engagement among target audiences. Especially GG, who simply has no rival - not even DD - in his power to move products for brands.

However, that doesn't necessarily mean they're raking in a ton of cash. Of course it all comes down to their management/agency contracts and how much of a percentage they earn on those deals. Those details aren't known, and aren't really any of our business anyway. Of course as fans we care about how they're doing in their careers, but there's a limit to how far that should go. Salaries and the details of contracts are a private matter.

In broad strokes, though, I think we can be very confident that GG and DD are looking out for their own interests, and have people around them who are helping them ensure they are healthy, happy and prosperous.

DD's contract with Yuehua came up for renewal within the last year or so, and make no mistake about it - as their top talent and top earner by far, he would have been in a position to negotiate a contract that will reflect his role in the revenue for YH. There are tons of rumors flying about what he negotiated, but nothing is verified. All we know is that DD is likely in the best position he's ever been in his career. And deservedly so. He's worked hard. I'm sure at some point they'll make an announcement about his contract renewal, so we'll just have to watch for it.

GG's situation is a lot more opaque. Little is known about his management/studio situation, what he's under contract for, to whom and for how long. That is also muddied by the disputes he's had in the past with WJJW. At most, he'd be on contract with them for some (but not all) of his activities, maybe to as far as 2025 - 2026.

But like I said before, we don't need those details to know that he will be looking out for his own best interests and surrounding himself with people who have the skills, experience and connections to help ensure he gets everything he works so hard for.

And even if he's still on contract to them, as more and more of that contract elapses it will become more and more important for WJJW to do what they can to keep GG happy. At least, if they want him to renew with them (which any company in their right mind would definitely want). The more unhappy he is with them, the more likely he'll drop them for greener pastures.

If you want to see a masterclass in managing those relationships, look no farther than Du Hua, who I used to jokingly call 'DD's new bodyguard' because she was so glued to his side for so long.

But like I said, we don't know anything about it. All of this is speculation. All I can say is, it's a safe bet that they are both in a pretty good power position in their careers, and that situation improves with every success they rack up. The more money they make for people and the better their position with the government is etc. etc., the better a position they will be in their careers overall.

I trust them to handle their careers intelligently and take good care of themselves and each other.

[dairy-farmer]

I'd like the idea of ​​an AU in the time where jason die and tim becomes Robin. Bruce he vents his anger on the, and the treats badly, doesn't care. He decides to compromise with himself by pretending not to care while slowly installing cameras and bugs in tims househouse. And hacking and displaying feeds from places tim frequents and it gets so bad he bugs tims phone and even inserts a microchip tracker into tim one time when he was unconscious when tim got badly injured. Inevitably bruce It be

EDIT: hello, two people have let me know this prompt is apparently from someone named mantamobu's thread on twitter the original i've linked here and i would love it if many of checked them out!! i'd like to believe that the original anon meant no harm and was likely just enthusiastic about an idea they liked and wished to see more of but I also bear a bit of responsibility since I recently started following mantamobu and had actually seen those tweets before and thought I recognized the idea but then assumed i was wrong since no reference to it was made.

i really do appreciate every prompt send to me! but i do have a concession and if you want to send in prompts from a tweet or post made by someone i'd love to be able to link them and show them what I made with their idea.

but also in all fairness i never made that known before so I do think it was just honest mistake from someone!

still there's great news attatched to this edit!!! mantamobu added more to their original thread about 5 hours ago from the time I'm writing this!!! so you can see how they take their original idea further❤️❤️❤️.

------

I cannot stress how much i LOVE fics where tim gets the short end of the stick while training as robin!! because canonically he does get treated differently from dick or jason or damian from how they were trained and treated, it makes sense why bruce acts like that. jason's death is a fresh wound, still bleeding and pulsing pain and tim is, in many ways, vinegar, lemon juice, and salt sprayed onto it.

i think bruce tried to do his best but ultimately had to push tim's training onto others because he couldn't handle being tim's primary trainer but also because he wanted tim to get a varied education, because he blamed himself for jason's death, and he'd been the one responsible for teaching jason everything. so he'd failed and jason's death was on his hands because he hadn't taught him enough and he didn't want that for tim.

bruce is just SO CLOSE to tipping over the edge and i think if tim had gotten to him just a few months even a few weeks later he'd have developed into a very distrustful and aggressive person because you could see how he was rolling down that path when tim came into his life.

he doesn't like tim. doesn't appreciate his interference in his life and he most certainly doesn't trust him despite alfred and dick both insisting he five tim a chance.

he's short with tim. gives growled orders and he expects perfection on the first attempt. bruce knows he's being harsh on him, alfred hads tried pleading him to not be so callous, to have a gentler touch like he did with his other boys. timothy wants to help him. can't he see that?

or is he far too stubborn to acknowledge the sacrifices this boy is going to make for his sake?

alfred must tell dick his worries because dick calls him, spitting threats and saying he better not be treating tim badly because he'll come over there and kick his ass if that's the case.

bruce tries to ignore the hurt that bubbles in him when he realizes that his family thinks he's...he's hurting tim on purpose just for the sake of it.

tim doesn't hold it against him. his eyes are sympathetic and understanding even while cradling a heavily bruised limb because bruce threw him down on the mat too harshly.

he asks bruce how his day is going, if he's eaten anything and before bruce can even respond tim will be offering him packets of crackers, chips, or nuts. they're printed with his school logo and bruce knows tim must've gotten them from the vending machines in his cafeteria.

tim is sweet, in the way that boys raised to be gentle are. he's earnest and eager to please bruce. but he also pities bruce.

he sees the cracks in him and tries his best to help him along even if it means receiving a several minute long verbal lashing for a small mistake.

bruce knows he is harsh (he wishes he could be kinder). he knows he has a short temper (he wishes he could be more patient). he knows he's not doing right by tim (he wishes he could be better).

he cannot caress tim. cannot tell him when he impresses him or how much he's improved. alfred is disapproving of that, he makes that very clear.

bruce tries to ignore the feelings. this overwhelming irrational fear and worry over tim when he can't see him. bruce knows tim's schedule, tim surrendered it quite easily.

from five days a week, from seven-thirty to three he's at school.

on mondays and wednesdays he has gymnastics which he's been attending since he was in second grade.

tuesdays and thursdays from four to six he has tutoring with an older boy from his school to help him with a few classes he's fallen behind in.

fridays, saturday, and sunday tim signs himself out for the weekend and makes his way to the manor for training. three days a week is a severe limit but tim is working on convincing his parents to let him quit gymnastics despite the fact that he's won a handful of trophies from local competitions.

tim is also looking into maybe paying off his tutor to say they met and instead freeing up all five days for bruce.

the point is, bruce knows, roughly, where tim is at any given hour of the day.

but bruce can't ignore the creeping feeling. like nails digging under the skin of his scalp. he knows where tim is.

he knows that he knows where he is. but he keeps checking that small post-it note with tim's handwriting outlining his weekly schedule.

he smoothes the creases and reads each line before setting it down. two seconds later and he's picking it back up again and re-reading the lines, just making sure his brain isn't playing tricks on him and he didn't skip any line.

down. pick up again because what if he just imagined that he picked it up and read it the first two times?

bruce's compulsory behavior and natural paranoia stress him out the more he becomes interested in tim. in where he is, what he's doing. is he talking to anyone? is anyone giving him a hard time? what if one of bruce's enemies found out about tim (it hasn't even been 3 months, how could they possibly find out about him) and are hurting him right this second.

it's wasier to manage in the manor. just additional security cameras are added to the driveway and on the forested property line that stretch down the main road.

bruce has an exact ETA and visual on tim as he rides his bike up the road on friday afternoon.

he installs cameras and microphones into the guestroom that tim occupies every weekend. he does it while alfred is out running errands and keeps the feed on a device separate from the bat computer. just in case.

alfred would be fiercely disapproving about this blatent invasion of 'master tim's' privacy. he'd call dick and then his son would have another reason to hate him.

so bruce keeps it to himself. he only pulls it out when he's alone. late at night, when alfred has already retreated and tim is dead asleep after icing all his bruises.

he's a small little thing, curled up on his side as he sleeps. he's brought his own blanket that he cuddles up with on top of the sheets. it's cheetah patterned and bruce recognizes it from the flea markets in gotham's west side that he investigated as batman once.

there's a microphone in the headboard and bruce hears the soft breaths of tim as he sleeps. an occasional whistle sound also leaks through during an especially deep breath, likely the result of a slightly deviated septum.

tim drools, bruce can see it when he zooms in close to his face.

bruce is crossing a boundary. he's invading tim's privacy on a level he never did to jason or dick or even alfred.

he knows that anyone would be furious with him if they knew. they'd call him a 'bigger creep' than usual. but they wouldn't understand.

they wouldn't understand how bruce needed to do it. how close he'd been to calling clark and asking him to check up on what would essentially be, a random civilian.

bruce had to do it. he had to.

they wouldn't understand. but tim would.

if tim knew it brought him peace of mind, he'd let bruce do it.

maybe that's why bruce gets bolder. why he goes out one night while tim stays in and rather than go into gotham proper where he always starts his patrol, he instead makes a turn in teh direction of tim's boarding school where it was located just on the outskirts of the city.

bruce knows tim's dorm is empty. he knows his roommate returns home for the weekend as well.

so it's a matter of just going into the right building and tracking down the door with two star-shaped stickers wearing sunglasses that have the names 'T. Drake' and 'M. To' written on them.

bruce finds the bed with tim's possessions and presses bugs and cameras around his side of the room. he debates planting any in the bathroom but decides that infringing on the privacy of a random 13-year-old boy is just too far.

bruce gets back door access to all the hall way and campus cameras as he leaves.

when tim returns on monday bruce is able to watch him leave until he's out of range of the manor cameras and instead switches to a red, blinking dot on another monitor.

subdermal tracker. experimental. bruce told tim some lie about it being a vaccine for a potential exposure to ivy's pollen. bruce is still working on that and eventually tim will get the real vaccine.

trackers are placed outside of things because if ingested they'll eventually run out of battery and just be hunks of metal floating in someone's body.

tim's should last for a few years before it would have to have its battery replaced. but that's a decade away.

bruce watches as tim's bike rolls into the parking for students and he jogs up to the main office where bruce swtiches to yet another camera.

the quality of the camera is grainy but its good enough quality that bruce can identify it's tim who offers the secretary a friendly smile and quickly signs back in before darting out to make it to his first class of the day.

bruce spends the day alternating between working on his cases and pulling out his phone to check on tim in the security cameras.

bruce feels...better. less weighed down with the knowledge that he knows exactly where tim is and what he's doing.

bruce does realize he's behaving more neurotic than usual. he knows that maybe this should be his wakeup call for professional help but he doesn't get it.

he watches. he listens as tim settles back into his life on monday.

he listens as tim and his roommate complain about their homework and teachers they don't like. they ask about each other's weekend and mutual friends they share. they talk about what's being served for dinner. occasionally other boys from their floor will wander in wanting to chat, borrow or return cds, or to invite them for a movie on the main floor that bruce has also bugged.

bruce listens to tim laugh and nearly bust a gut at a raunchy joke made by one of the older boys. bruce tapes that laugh and keeps it on file.

he doesn't know why.

on tuesday things settle down more. on tuesday, tim's roomate has swim practice from four to seven and tim has tutoring.

bruce expects tim to make his way to the library, bruce already has his fingers ready to switch but instead he watches as tim greets a scruffy, broad-shouldered boy at the door.

tim's tutor. presumably.

sixteen, turning seventeen in three months. he's helping tim with algebra and pre-chemistry.

and apparently, also fucking him.

bruce doesn't tear his eyes away from the sight of the tutor's pants unbuckled and lowered to just below his ass as he roughly fucks tim on his bed. tim's hands are wrapped and scrambling for his sweater vest coated back.

bruce can hear through the microphone grunts and moans and whines. he hears the rocking of the bed and creaking of the springs.

he doesn't know why he doesn't look away.

tuedays and thursdays from four to six is when they meet. bruce checked the post-it.

was this what they did in that time?

yes.

for a full two hours, tim didn't study a lick of algebra or chemistry. instead, every bit of his thirteen-year-old self climbed onto the older boy's lap and rode him, throwing his head back as he moaned with delight of being filled.

bruce watches for the full two hours. he doesn't look away once.

once finished they both clean up and the boy departs with hardly another word spoken.

tim straightens his bed in time for his roomate to return and ask if tim had a productive session.

'oh, very' tim nodded seriously.

bruce checked tim's phone. he'd installed a secondary screen to be able to go through it but he hadn't had reason to until tim's little affair came to light.

they exchanged pictures with each other. they sent risque texts and flirted as much as two teenagers could.

there didn't seem to be much of an emotional connection between them. it wasn't serious. bruce couldn't explain why that filled him with so much relief.

on friday when tim arrived for training he was amazed at how much more calm bruce was. how was soothed with just a few words from tim. how he wasn't as harsh even though alfred's expression was no less disapproving when tim picked himself up from the mats.

bruce's grip wasn't as iron clenched, bruce knew tim could tell. bruce's brows were still furrowed but they didn't carry as much tension. bruce knew tim could tell.

bruce knew tim could feel bruce's eyes on him as they stopped for a water break.

but tim didn't flinch, didn't stumble or hesitate. he absorbed bruce's observation like he didn't feel it at all. he wasn't disturbed or unnerved by bruce's shift in behavior or his scrutiny.

he took it in stride.

and as bruce sat down beside tim, reaching for his own drink. he watched out of the corner of his eye as tim rubbed at his shoulder, right on the spot where bruce had injected the tracker.

bruce didn't know what to call the feeling that bubbled up in his chest. so instead, he swallowed it down alongside the water that filled his mouth.

[yesimwriting]

Would you write a Kaz Brekker request where the reader is a bookworm and a crow and basically Kaz asks the reader to read to him as his way of apologizing after a argument that was his fault?

 it ​​a/n i did something kinda similar in a 'promise of rain' blurb,, but this concept is so cute to me:)) love it sm i moved it up my request cue lol

also IM IN COLLEGE NOW!! WHAT?? AND IVE BEEN TO A PARTY! AND IM JOINING A SORORITY AND I DID DRAMA AUDITIONS AND AHH !! SO DIFFERENT! I MISS MY MOM AND SISTER AND DOG AND EVEN MY DAD BUT IM HAPPY HERE!! 

also im a little worried this might not portray kaz superrrrr accurately bc it's been awhile so just let me know,, feedback leads to improvement:)) also kinda set this up for a part 2 bc...well youll see 

--

They've always said a lot of things about him, and I've always heard them. But I've never quite believed them. Sure, I get why the dark things that have flourished in the poisoned soil that is Ketterdam consider Kaz Brekker the darkest thing of all. I understand the nickname 'Dirtyhands' for the gloved criminal who has fooled each crime boss at least once. I understand each terrible thing they've said about him.

But I've never agreed with them. I've never even considered agreeing with them. Until today.

The thought that maybe everything people say about him is correct in a simple context struck me worse than the silence after our argument. It made me feel like both a fool and hypocrite. Kaz and I have had our fair share of spats over the relatively short time we've known each other, but never like this. Never so badly he stormed out of the room before I could. I squeeze the book in my lap even harder, desperate to focus on the words on the pages.

You didn't hurt him. He walked away because he decided you weren't worth the cost of his expensive time. I repeat those thoughts in my mind over and over again, letting them bitter me further. It's a lot easier to be mad than hurt. A lot easier to fuel your pain than try to understand your mistakes. Besides, tiredness is already dredging around in my chest and if I don't calm down a little I won't be able to fall asleep.

I had escalated the fight more than I should have. Knowing Kaz is like performing in a tightrope act. One must always be aware of where they're going. Watching what's in front of them without ever thinking too much about what's beneath or behind them. Today though, when I needed my balance most I chose to fall. I chose to dive, and apparently there was no net.

"Oh, you're doing that thing."

I roll my eyes at Jesper's voice as I fight down a yawn. I wipe my face with the back of my palm before turning. The burning behind my eyes never resulted in full tears, but I feel better after doing so. "What thing?"

"That terribly noble thing where you find it in yourself to take full blame for every single conflict you and boss man fall into." The slight humor in his voice is enough for me to roll my eyes again. "Between you and me, I'm sure the reason he's so angry now is because you didn't do that for once."

I press my lips together as my chin angles itself upwards slightly. "I never do that." He raises an eyebrow. The slight sympathy that colors the look is more offensive than his accusation. "If I pick and choose my battles, it's for good reason."

"Clearly."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugs once before further entering my room. I say nothing when he sits at the foot of my bed. "Oh, you know," Jesper stretches back casually, resting his back against the wall and extending his legs, "You and Kaz--Kaz and you."

Has he been drinking? Perhaps he's not here because of my unusual absence from downstairs after my fight with Kaz but because he's already too tipsy to think right. "What?"

At my confused look he grins, flashing all of his teeth with an arrogance that outshines the whiteness of them. He taps the still open book in my lap. "Let me put it in terms you'll understand." Jesper sits up a little further, amusement clear in his features. "You two make a shameful Elizabeth and Darcy--"

"Oh, shut up," I groan, glaring at him, "This isn't Pride and Prejudice. And Kaz and I," Jesper's smugness returns when I can't quite think of what I want to say, "We're barely friends--we're barely anything, let alone what you're implying."

Jesper pulls his legs up and shoves me gently. "Dearest, y/n," he ignores my glare, "You should know better than anyone that 'barely friends, barely anything' with Kaz is more than it is with anyone else?"

"That doesn't mea--"

"You two say goodnight to each other." Once. Kaz and I said good night to each other in front of Jesper once. How dare he assume it happens regularly? He's right, but that doesn't mean I'm okay with it. "You play cards with him. Not for money, not for skill--"

"It's for practice." The look Jesper gives me is enough to tell me that my defense didn't land.

Damn him for ever finding Kaz and I on one of those strange nights. One of those nights in which he lurks at the stairwell...the one that divides my room and his attic. One of those nights in which it feels like he's a phantom and I'm the only one that can really see him. A night in which we both silently find each other.

I couldn't quite believe it the first time it happened. I'm not exactly a Crow--I don't feel enough a connection to the Dregs to join them without some kind of guarantee--but I was needed for some obscure job. but I was needed for some obscure job. The Crows needed an insider who could blend into high society, and I needed a place to stay away from my father.

It worked. I worked. And with each passing day I found myself enjoying the Crows more and more. That's why I stayed. That's why I started checking the stairwell practically every night, a set of playing cards in my hand.

The first time had been awkward. I couldn't sleep and my room felt too quiet, but the rambunctious club felt too loud and a little unsafe considering the hour. So I settled for the only space in between. When Kaz found me sitting on the steps and playing a solitary card game I had been so stunned by embarrassment I just offered to deal him in. I had been more shocked when he silently accepted my offer.

"Practice?" Jesper repeats. "You were laughing, I heard you."

"That was one time--how do you know we didn't just happen to play cards together the one time you saw it?"

"Because you laughed about a play you considered 'predictable'."

Sighing, I sit up a little straighter. "I'm not having this conversation. Occasionally saying 'goodnight' to someone who lives in the same space I live in and sometimes playing cards with said person because we both happen to be up at a certain time doesn't mean anything."

"And the way he looked at the contact that was flirting with you?"

Oh...this conversation again. "For the last time, the contact wasn't flirting with me. We had to dance to blend in and when he leaned towards me to whisper in my ear...it was to tell me the intel Kaz just had to have."

"And when he tucked that strand of hair behind your ear?"

"He just wanted to sell our cove--"

"Y/n, he kissed your cheek and I'm fairly certain he would have kissed you if Kaz and I hadn't made it to the corridor at that second."

Why is everyone so obsessed with what would have never happened? The contact had been attractive, tall with fair eyes and hair. But it's not like I feel anything for him, nor would I have been so foolish during a job. A fact that Kaz refuses to believe. I'm tired of this argument...I'm just tired. This job required me to start getting ready early in the morning and lasted long into the night.

"I wouldn't have kissed him and even if I had, the fact that Kaz is so mad about feels...sexist." A stupid argument, considering that Kaz couldn't care less if the person he's working with is female, male, or anything in between because the only thing he cares about is profit. "It's a stupid thing to be mad about, but you hit on anything with a pulse at any time and--"

"I resent that--"

"For the first two weeks I was here I thought you might've been a prostitute."

I can feel him holding in a laugh. "Did you at least think I was a good prostitute?" When I glare again, he finally actually laughs. "Not the point--got it."

"Then what is the point? You're bored and obsessed with gossip so now you're shaking me for information you don't need."

"The point is you're oblivious." Rude...I move my leg in a weak attempt to push him off my bed. Jesper catches my ankle easily, ignoring my attempt at a fight. "You thought the contact was only doing his job and you don't know the real reason that Kaz blew up at you for the first time the way he blows up at everyone."

"Okay, well since you know everything, tell me why he's mad."

He lets out a sigh like he can't believe I even needed to ask that. "It's not the best look that the first time you let him pick a fight with you happens to be about some guy."

...Maybe he is drunk? "Don't be so cryptic. I don't like you enough to put up with that."

Jesper half-sighs again before pushing himself off my bed. "I'm going to pretend I think you're smart enough to piece things together from that."

"Asshole," I mumble instinctually as he walks towards my door. "Are you not telling me because I tried to push you off the bed?"

He turns when he reaches my door in order to lean against my door frame. "It's not not because of that." I should throw my book at his head. "In all seriousness, think about it. If you don't you'll either kill each other or kill me."

Ugh...he's so confusing. This time, I let him go. He leaves he door open, which is beyond annoying. I stand up to close it, promising myself I will focus on my book the second it's in my hands again. As I walk back towards my bed, my eyes land on the deck of cards on my nightstand.

Does it send a signal I don't want to send if I don't go the stairwell tonight? Do I want to send a signal? I don't know...actually, the only thing I know is that I don't want to think about this a second longer. I don't ease as I read, but my eyelids become heavier with each word they cross. I feel the weight of them as my focus slips, farther and farther away until I can no longer focus. When my eyes fall shut I can't bring myself to think or force them open.

--

I notice my surprised before I register that I've just woken up. Falling asleep feels so far and yet the crick in my neck confirms the obvious. Rubbing the eyes with the back of my hand, I push my book from my lap and sit up. The only indication of how much time has passed is how much my bedside candle has melted.

How long have I been asleep? How did I manage to fall asleep? I thought I was too mad at Kaz to manage anything but pouting in my room. I hadn't even decided if I wanted to talk to him.

I stand even though I haven't decided anything. I should at least change if I want to go to bed. But is leaving this alone for even longer a bad idea? I think Jesper thought so...though my conversation with him is far from clear. It's not the best look that the first time you let him pick a fight with you happens to be about some guy. I'm going to pretend I think you're smart enough to piece things together from that. What does he want me to do with that?

Maybe he was partially intoxicated and felt the need to play the role of a good friend. Or maybe this is his idea of a joke.

Whatever--regardless of Jesper, I have a choice to make. A tiny part of me hopes it's insignificant, but I know Kaz enough to know that nothing is insignificant to him. He holds onto things the way he holds onto his kruge. Perhaps I'll seek out Inej, she seems to be the best at rationalizing. Though she might be asleep by now, or on a job or...I don't even know.

How late is it? Is it late enough to be one of the few hours Kaz claims to reserve for sleep? Maybe my bad luck is still around and he's already in bed for once. Does that mean his anger will extend to tomorrow?

I shouldn't care. It's not like I'm in the wrong. Did I escalate things? Maybe a little...but I won't apologize for defending myself. Even though that makes everything a little easier. I feel stuck, like in some kind of place of half sleep. A single knock at my door is enough to make me want to jump. I rub my eyes a little more firmly in hopes of waking up more before someone sees me.

I approach the door without worry. Maybe it's not as late as I assumed. Or maybe it's really early? I open the door while still fighting against my slight disorientation. I'm so focused on acting normal, I almost don’t register the person standing at my door. 

I don’t know who I expected, or what--maybe Jesper, much more tipsy than he was before, slumped against the doorframe, only knocking because he’s too tired to push the door open. Maybe even Inej, on her way here to deliver some kind of job or notice of dismissal. But it’s nothing I could expect. It’s...Kaz. 

The Dirtyhands stands at my door, expression as hard as ever yet something behind his eyes that burns the sleep away from me. “Uh--hi.” I bite my tongue to avoid cringing at that very awkward beginning. “Are you here to kick me out yourself?” The only response I get is the slightest shift of his gaze off of my face. “No? Well then I think I’m going to bed. It’s late.” 

My tone and words are clear. Get out of my doorway, I’m in no mood to go back to arguing.  When he still doesn’t say anything, I’m emboldened by my nerves. I push the door between us without breaking eye contact. 

Before the wood can meet the doorframe, he moves his cane, wedging it between us. “Y/n.” I don’t understand the way he says my name, but I’m certain he’s never said it like that. “I...” When he’s not prompted by the uncomfortableness of silence, I raise an eyebrow, my grip on the door tightening. “What I said shouldn’t have been said.” Wait--is he admitting fault? I’m so thrown I almost melt entirely. “Not to you.” 

The addition leaves him so lowly a part of me wonders if I’ve imagined it. I’m so thrown by it I don’t even think to reply until a long second has passed. “You seemed to believe the opposite a few hours ago.” 

His lips press together for a moment. “You didn’t ask me to play cards tonight.” He took that as intentional? At least that got me some kind of apology? I keep my mouth shut, greed making me want more information. I guess he must sense my silent tugging because he head inclines slightly. “Don’t push.” 

I fight down a grin. “Push what?” His only response to stiffen further. “I’m going to tell you something as a peace offering.” That seems to intrigue him in some way. I can’t tell if it’s a good kind of interested, but I note the slight raise of his eyebrows and his intentional silence. “I didn’t chose not to ask you to play cards.” He gives me no indication of anything, which is fair...considering my vagueness. “I was mad, obviously, and in the middle of deciding on a course of action...and then I fell asleep.” 

A long pause of silence. “You fell asleep?” 

I’m not sure if his incredulous tone should offend me or not. If I wanted to lie, I’d like to think he knows me well enough to know that I’d have thought of a better excuse than that. Or at least a less embarrassing one. “Yes, it’s not that difficult to believe. Today had been long and all I wanted to do was read, but then Jesper came in to say the oddest things and then leave me to...” 

Oh--oh. I guess there’s a reason people say to ‘sleep on’ something. Because now, actively remembering Jesper’s words for the first time since I fell asleep...I understand what Jesper was implying in the oddest way possible. He meant that Kaz and I...that perhaps there is a Kaz and I in a context that’s more than just grammatical. Wow. I really had to realize this with Kaz right in front of me. 

My face feels warmer than it did before, an irrational bout of anxiety forcing me to consider that me might be able to read impossible, embarrassing thoughts from my expression alone. 

“What did Jesper say?” I’m too lost in my own spiral of confusion and panic and some feeling I can’t recognize to register how Kaz asks his question. There’s an edge to it, an odd one, but that could easily just be Kaz. 

This is most definitely the last conversation we need to be having. I’m still mad at him for his earlier dramatics. So I just shake my head, feigning an exhaustion I could lose myself in. “Nothing and everything all at once.” I resist the urge to rub my eyes again. “I’m pretty sure he was drinking, and I wasn’t really listening. I was just trying to read.” 

Kaz’s expression hardens briefly as he takes in my words, and then he exhales, nodding once with the breath. “What were you reading?” 

My lips part instinctually, ready to spew off details about the latest novel that’s captured my attention. But before I can let myself take off, the reality of the situation strikes me directly in the chest. This is not Nina, or Inej, or even Jesper after what he considers a ‘good night’. This is Kaz Brekker, the man believed to not have a soul. I’ve spoken to him before about casual things, though most of the nights in which we end up playing cards or just sitting near each other are spent in silence. But he’s never prompted me before. Not in the one topic he knows is guaranteed to turn me into an overenthusiastic, gushing fountain of poor summaries and character analysis. 

I guess this is his peace offering. This shouldn’t warm the way it does. He was still unbelievably dramatic and treated me like I’m some kind of unreliable fool. “It’s late, and you know how I can be. I’d hate to keep you for nothing more than a poor summary and honestly, an embarrassing rant about plot or characters, because there’s just nothing as frustrating as when two people so clearly care about each other and both are too stubborn and oblivious to acknowledge it.” 

Kaz’s eyebrows draw together just enough for me to be able to make out a shift of expression in the poor light. Perhaps his lingering irritation is preparing to rear its ugly head. The corner of his mouth seems to threaten to tilt upwards as Kaz angles his head to the side slightly. “I can’t imagine that position.” 

No kidding. I bite my tongue to keep the sarcastic comment and awkward laugh that would sure follow it away. “Who can? That’s like half the point of reading.” 

How can interaction feel so over and just at its beginning all at once? I press my lips together to avoid filling the silence with things I’d no doubt instantly regret. It’s easy to be mad at Kaz in the moment. Too easy. But to stay mad at him when his temper has passed and he returns with some kind of begrudging and admittedly awkward and uncertain truce is another task entirely. 

“I’ve never understood your attachment to written words.” 

“It’s not about understanding, it’s about everything else.” 

“And you say I’m cryptic.” Is he...kinda almost joking? I straighten my spine, too tired to fight and too wounded to forgive. “There’s understanding in everything, nothing can survive on sentiment alone.” 

“If you read the way I did, you’d understand.” 

His lips press together as his expression remains unwavering in its hardness. “Read to me.” 

...Interacting with Kaz in any way often leaves me feeling like I’m wandering through unknown territory. But this, this is undeniably different. So different I can’t even think of a way to react. I watch his expression as cautiously as possible. He’s purely reserved, no distinction from the look he wears during business propositions. Except there’s a tightness I can’t quite understand.

Maybe it’s because I don’t want to fight anymore. Maybe it’s because exhaustion is leaving me partially delirious. Or maybe it’s the weird feeling in my chest that I can’t quite place. That I don’t want to place. “Okay.” I shift carefully. “If for no other reason then to prove you wrong.” 

Never did I think I’d end up in the position of sitting in my bed, book in hand, with Kaz Brekker sitting next to me. But here we are. I’m so tired, I almost let out a nervous laugh when he first walked in. So brooding and tall, gripping the head of his head cane as he sits at the foot of my bed, on my pastel quilt. 

I’m glad for the excuse to keep my gaze away from him and on the words in front of me. I read out loud, feeling more and more comfortable with each page I finish. But as my inhibitions slip away, so dos my hold on consciousness. My eyelids seem to grow heavier with each word that I read. 

“You’re falling asleep.” 

I straighten my spine on instinct. “Am not.” I’m not sure why I feel the need to deny something so simple. 

“You’re impossible.” 

From him, that statement is laugh worthy. “I’m impossible? Do you not remember earlier today?” 

From the way his jaw locks, I realize that he’s in no mood to be light about this topic. I don’t understand why. It’s not like I’m the one that wronged him. “I remember your lack of focus.” 

Keeping my hands at my side to avoid rubbing my eyes, I frown. “If you want to have this argument again, fine. Jesper is more ‘distracted’ than me half the time and you’re much more lenient on him. It’s not like I was flirting with someone or gambling or doing anything but having a two second conversation. One that I needed to have to get information that you wanted.” 

The last time we fought, I had more energy to restrain myself. This could be atomic. I hold my breath, waiting for Kaz’s retaliation. He exhales, eyes not meeting mine. “Arguing with you when you’re present is exhausting enough. It’s not worth it when you’re half asleep.” 

This angers me further. I hate that he’s right. “I’m not half asleep.” He leaves it at that. I glare even harder at him, slumping further into my bed. “But for the sake of argument, I’ll drop it. Something you’re incapable of doing.” 

At that, his eyes meet mine. I try to hold his gaze, but the harder I think about not seeming tired the more exhaustion slips in. A yawn escapes me before he looks away. Great. “I know when to lie in the grass in wait.” 

Rolling my eyes, I shift back slightly. He’s incapable of being less dramatic than this. Still, I can’t imagine the effort it’s taking on his part to not start an argument. Maybe this is why Jesper spent so long implying that there may be a Kaz and I in any capacity beyond a vague kind of friendship. “I’ll admit you’re tactful.”

“Resourceful people recognize that trait in other people.” 

Blinking twice, I lower my book slightly. Am I truly exhausted, or did he just compliment me in a way? “Careful, I may start to think you find me tolerable.” 

“Let’s not exaggerate.” Okay, now I know I’m exhausted because I think he might have just attempted a joke. Rolling my eyes, I decide not to acknowledge this lightness in fear that I’ll scare it away. “Y/n?” 

I press my lips together, worried about the destruction of our peace. “Yes?” 

“What did Jesper say to you? Earlier?” I pause, slightly unsure why we’re moving backwards. 

We’re in a decent place now, and I’d hate to ruin it. I’m too half asleep to lie eloquently. And it’s not like he’s an easily convinced man. “Oh, he said it so cryptically it took me longer than it should have to understand. And it didn’t help that it was something so...well, you might find it funny. As funny as you find anything, anyways.” Wow...I’ve spent such a long time talking. Rubbing the back of my eyes, I avoid his gaze. Exhaustion and awkwardness mix in my stomach oddly. “It seemed like he was trying to imply that you and I...me and you...” Why is this a difficult thing to say? It’s not like I was implying it and Jesper’s known for his oddness. “I think Jesper was implying that there was a you and I, or at least that there could be.” I’m too lost in a haze of almost sleep to watch his reaction. I let my head rest against my headboard even further. “Isn’t that odd?” 

He’s quiet for a long second, and then he finally speaks again. “Odd, even for Jesper.” The response doesn’t satiate me...what’s that about? I exhale, deciding that feeling is tomorrow’s problem. When I blink, I decide to let my eyes stay closed. Just for a moment. The sound of something shifting is what makes my eyes squint open. Kaz is standing, his expression unreadable as he straightens. “Goodnight, y/n.” 

At that, I sit up slightly, ignoring the exhaustion behind my eyes. “I haven’t finished the chapter.” 

“You’ve convinced me of enough.” A concession? How exhausted do I seem? My lips press together as I think of my next argument. Before I can get it out, Kaz leans forward. He grabs the quilt at the end of my bed and tosses it onto my legs casually. “Goodnight, y/n.” The meaning of his repetition is clear. His word is final. 

I find enough energy to manage a glare, but I pull the quilt over my legs anyways. “Goodnight, Kaz.”

[alluringjae]

au cours de l’été - jjh

⤑ translation: over the summer

⤑ summary: this is a story of an exhausted painter who needed a breather from the hectic city life. so aside from moving to the countryside, the needed air in your lungs also came in the form of a person. this summer meant for pure relaxation, perhaps your heart may dive into him too.

⤑ pairing: jaehyun x female reader

⤑ word count: 15.2k (so much for saying that i’ll be writing shorter stories)

⤑ genre: fluff, romance, smut | author!jaehyun, painter!reader, strangers to lovers!au, 50s-60s!au, summer love in france!au

⤑ warnings: me inserting some french phrases because I want to practice (feel free to correct me if I made mistakes, i’ll appreciate them), fictional interpretations of real-life people, explicit language, jaehyun being such a romantic pls im in tears, mentions and scenes of burnout (the worst)

⤑ playlist: everybody loves somebody by dean martin | c’est si bon by eartha kitt | it’s always you by chet baker | les yeux ouverts by emilie-claire barlow | a sunday kind of love by etta james | the most beautiful thing by bruno major | try again by jaehyun and d.ear (duh) | free love (dream edit) by honne | petite fleur by jill barber | plus je t’embrasse by blossom dearie | so this is love by ilene woods and mike douglas

⤑ author’s note: this was an idea that just came to me after pinterest kept recommending me poetic beauty/try again jaehyun, so here we are! i intended to write less than 5k words but sometimes plans don’t go as planned once you really invest in the story yet i’m really happy how this turned out!

the romantic exhilaration in my bones are off the charts because this is jaehyun we’re talking about lol enjoy!

⤑ masterlist

⤑ leave me some feedback, constructive criticism, or hellos!

3 juin 1957

The city life overstimulated your entire system, losing your brainpower and inspiration. Another exhibition that’ll feature your works with other influential painters was happening at the end of the year, and you had nothing prepared so far. You’ve crashed to the deep end of creative fatigue.

So you needed to get away again; somewhere quieter and surrounded by nature.

That’s why you ended up in the countryside down south, somewhere within Provence. It’s purely just for the summer, but extensions were okay as long you get back at least a month before the show. Filing that leave of absence at the studio you worked at was worth it.

You rented an apartment overlooking the marketplace, where the heart of the village was. After arranging things from your boxes and luggage the entire day, you found out that you lacked in the food department.  

So the succeeding day, the entire morning was spent on grocery shopping downstairs then stocking them inside your refrigerator, freezer, and pantry. Right after changing out of your pajamas into a flowy floral dress and sandals, you decided to bike to the bakery that locals suggested. A must-go place for newcomers, they all raved.

“Café des Étoiles Perdues.” (Café of Lost Stars.)

The clear chimes of the bell resounded through the small, cottage-like lobby as you entered inside. An old woman, whom you assumed was the owner, welcomed you openly.

“Oh la la, vous êtes belle! Vous vous appelez (Y/N), la nouvelle venue, n'est-ce pas?” (Oh la la, you’re beautiful. Your name is (Y/N), the newcomer, right?)

She complimented, making you shyly mutter your answer. Wiping off the flour from her apron, she introduced herself kindly.

“Je m’appelle Camille. Mes spécialités sont les macarons pisctaches et des croissants avec des amandes. Autre chose que tu aimes?” (I’m Camille. My specialties are the pistachio macarons and croissants with almonds. Is there anything else you like?)

“J'aime tout ce que vous suggères, Madame.” (I’d like anything that you suggest, Madame.)

A younger man, who went by Jaemin, was a part-timer barista who asked for your coffee order. As he directed you to the best seat of the café, which was outside overlooking the garden of blooming sunflowers, you pulled out your sketch pad so you could capture this dreamy view. It was nothing like you’ve ever seen in your life.

You’ve decided on a theme already for your exhibit thanks to your conversations with locals yesterday, which was related to freedom. After being chained to cities for so-called better living and financial standards, it’s actually how your inspiration to create squeezed the life out of you like a lemon. Although it was fun at first to see those tourist spots, it eventually got tiring.

Another matchstick to graze intensity through your bones was what you prayed for.

While you’re engaged in a rough sketch of the scenery, the dandy presence of a young man entered the café with his books. White shirt, red trousers with a matching beret, he sported freckles on his pale face. Despite visiting his favorite café numerously, Camille was overjoyed to see him and his serene smiles.

“Jaehyun! What brings you here?”

“Bonjour, Madame! I’m starving for your croissants because I ran out back home.”

“Not to worry! I’ll pack up some so you’re on your way.” She lightened him up like one of her kids, taking one of the bigger paper bags.

“No rush though, Madame. I’ll be reading and working here for a bit here.” Jaehyun affirmed, bringing it out his wallet and called out for Jaemin.

“Un café crème, s’il vous plait.” (One cup of cappuccino, please.)

Jaehyun’s usual chair was by the large window, overseeing the wide garden planted by the citizens of the village way before he was born. It was places like this he missed after moving to the city for his education and work’s sake. 

That’s the thing when you’re coming from a rich family; you don’t have much of say with what your parents order you to do. However, his recent request to stay in his childhood home (or mansion) again was fulfilled because he couldn’t search for what he needed in the cities anymore.

Jaehyun was a sucker for romance; an old romantic others would say. A lot of women mistook his kindness as flirting on many occasions, but ironically he just wasn’t looking for anyone yet. 

Starting as a novelist in the said genre based on real-life stories of people he met in Paris, Barcelona, London, and more, his stories were popular hits especially to young adults who aspire to find love one day.

However, traveling to the known places no longer felt fun as he got older. The stories he gathered were very similar, just in different languages. It took an enthusiastic dinner with his family, specifically his only older sister Krystal retelling fond stories from their younger years to get the idea of moving back for a bit. So consumed with the city life, he wanted to see things from another perspective.

What was the difference between a love story formed in the countryside than in the city?

It’s been a month since he arrived, but he didn’t hurry himself to do his research. He’s been reading books in his family library, revisiting monumental places, exploring around the village, and reconnecting with old friends as if he never left. 

Readjusting to his former life would make writing easier when he’s motivated enough to do it again. Besides, his books were profiting well enough to his taste; good enough for the next 10 years according to his personal accountant, Kim Jungwoo.

Jaehyun resumed reading this book his mother recommended him before he left. Entitled “Réessaye”, which was about a young man who reunites with his childhood sweetheart after his arranged marriage failed. After what she put her through, he’s hesitant whether to try again or let her go.

Jaehyun enjoyed reading books with realistic outlooks on love because he found them more meaningful, enlightening how exactly it makes you feel and do. Even if he enjoyed reading sappy, fairytale-like stories from time to time, he always returned to the real ones as they only displayed the truth.

That love isn’t always rainbows and sunshine, but something that can also break you especially if you go after the wrong person. This kind of mindset was how he toiled on his stories, which gained him a status outside of his unavoidable labels such as “the only striking son of the Jeong family” or “Valentine Boy”.

He diligently browsed through the climax, where the main male character confessed all his constrained emotions to his sweetheart. But it was until Jaemin pressed the bag of croissants in front of his face after placing down his childhood friend’s drink to disturb his peace.

“Reading again?” He taunted, snatching his book away and throwing the bag on Jaehyun’s lap. “When are you writing that book already? Everyone is practically dying for you to release something new again!”

Jaehyun flatly shook his head, drinking his coffee quietly. It’s not the first time anyone asked (or pressured) him about his next release, and it’s the last thing he wanted to think about. “Not in the mood right now, Jaemin. Now off to work before Madame Camille scolds you again.”

“You’re just stalling because you have nothing to write, don’t you?” Jaemin cunningly expressed, raising a brow. He’s known to catch onto the people’s bs easily; the last person you’d want to say your secrets too and Jaehyun realized too late. Though lucky for him, Jaemin shut the topic down right away so he wouldn’t pop a vein.

“Sais-tu de la nouvelle venue dans le village, d'ailleurs?” (Do you know about the newcomer in the village, by the way?)

“Une nouvelle venue?” (A newcomer?)

Being stuck at his mansion recently, news about village affairs were now late to him. Jaemin’s finger discreetly pointed outside the window, pertaining to a young woman sat outside painting her view in front of her.

That would be you, shading all the flowers in bright colors.

Seeing a new face amazed Jaehyun, especially when she was almost someone right out of a book. In a neat bun with white daisies printed in her dress, she crossed her legs whilst continuing her movements. She bit her lower lip, frustrated over an accidental smudge she made and trying to fix it by blending it with another color. When she accomplished it, she swapped brushes. A thinner one, to outline the shapes of the flower. Her lips curved to a smile after finishing another one perfectly with the rest.

“Jaehyun?”

Jaemin snapped his fingers to his distracted friend, zoning out the window. Still something he hasn’t stop doing, he pondered. With a final snap, Jaehyun broke away from falling hard from his abstract. Jaemin calculated the problem so quickly, analyzing his friend breezily like his medical school requirements.

“Elle est splendide, n'est-ce pas?” (She’s gorgeous, right?)

“Elle ressemble à une personne décente.” (She looks like a decent person.)

Jaehyun pushed it aside, flipping back to the page where he stopped reading. Before Jaemin responded, the door chimed open again to alarm him that a new customer came in. He excused himself to his friend, warning him that this wasn’t the last time he’ll talk about the newcomer too.

Jaehyun nodded along, not taking his friend’s cheeky words so seriously. However, the final result you attempted to create tickled his curiosity, so he slyly peeked from his book to the window.

You’ve freed your hair down, victorious to have started your collection this early in your break. A fantastic start, you let the paint dry first and munch on the croissant that served as your reward. However, you ‘re quick to notice a manly figure glancing through the window. From the side, his brown eyes appeared lively even if his entire face was hidden by the book.

Réessaye by Mark Lee; he must be a romantic. Every person in your studio read it, excluding yourself. Painfully beautiful, they’d summarize it.

Daring to meet more people, you locked eye contact with him. He didn’t expect it, almost flipping from his chair. Bashfully, you waved him a hello to somewhat break the ice. However, it broke his composure, and suddenly, he scurried off with his things from the café.

Now, you got quite worried. You checked your tiny mirror if he saw anything unpleasant with you, but you’d say you look relatively fine. Oh, maybe you could redeem yourself the next time you saw him. After bidding goodbye to Camille and Jaemin, the latter chased after you when you prepared yourself on your bike.

“By any chance, did you say hi to a guy with brown eyes and a red beret?”

“Well, more like I waved at him, then he zoomed out. Did I do something wrong?” You questioned with concern, putting your hands on the handles.

“That’s my friend, who’s quite reserved with strangers. I’m sorry on his behalf.”

“Nah, it’s fine.” You brushed it off politely. “See you again soon, Jaemin!”

Peddling away, letting the cool breeze fan you, your mind reverted its thoughts to that strange man. Maybe you’ll give it some time; you had a lot of it.

“Shucks, he was pretty cute.”

12 juin 1957

The world must really be on your side with these good decisions because you crossed paths with the strange man again in the café a week later. But instead of running away, he asked nicely if he could sit across your free chair in front of your table outside. It was a Saturday, and the place was packed.

“Joignez-moi, s’il vous plait.” (Join me, please.)

You insisted, giving yourself time to subtly observe his physique a lot more. Freckles dotted under his eyes like a constellation, bushy eyebrows, pink cheeks to match his pale complexion, and wearing a fuzzy knit sweater that meshed well with his green beret. He had some sort of necklace too; there was a heart pendant.

“Vous êtes une artiste.” (You’re an artist.) The small wooden palette of paint beside your small sketch pad was exposed, finding it as a great icebreaker.

“Une peintre, spécifiquement. Franchement, les visuels ici sont trés captivants qu'à Paris.” (A painter, to be specific. Frankly, the visuals here are more captivating than in Paris.)

“Je suis d’accord,” (I agree,) Jaehyun leaned against his chair, taking a better look at you with the remaining light from the descending sun.

“Oh, vous êtes comme moi. J’habite à Paris aussi.” (Oh, you’re like me. I live in Paris too.)

“Bon, je suis née à Londres. Puis, j’ai déménagé où je voulais en Europe depuis j'avais 18 ans. Mais oui, j’habite définitivement à Paris maintenant.” (Well, I was born in London then moved wherever I wanted in Europe for inspiration since I was 18. But yes, I live permanently in Paris now.)

You clarified, beginning to enjoy his comforting company. Initiating conversations with people you’re not acquainted with wasn’t in your range of skills, though he didn’t have an intimidating vibe. He looked too youthful to act like that.

“Je m’appelle (Y/N), d'ailleurs.” (I’m (Y/N), by the way.) You stuck out your hand as a sign of respect, which he enthusiastically obliged.

“Salut, (Y/N). Je m’appelle Jaehyun.” [Hi, (Y/N). I’m Jaehyun.]

He kissed it in a gentleman fashion, applying the manners he’s been taught since he was a child. Should you have been flustered, but no.  It’s been a long time since anyone greeted you like that, specifically back home.

Throughout your talk, you learned more about who he was, his job, and what his life in the countryside is like. He was an author of romance novels, yet you’ve never heard about him prior. Heavily prioritizing your work, you don’t keep up with the new releases or trends at all. Though after mentioning his last name, it piqued your interest.

“Jeong? As in the business, Jeong Tea Inc.?”

“Correct.”

His family was one of the most affluent families in Parisian society. Old money immigrants from South Korea, they brought their tea business to France and it boomed successfully. You’re quite sure you’ve seen his parents in past exhibits, but never did you approach them because you were a rookie then. But he reassured you that it was fine, and to just treat him like you’d treat your friends. Plus, it came to your knowledge that he was the same age as you too.

He opened up how this village was where he lived his childhood, so he asked his parents if he could hand over their mansion for a while for rest. It then shocked both of you at how identical your reasons were for staying in the countryside.

“I’m burnt out from the city, so I’m trying to regain my spirit here hopefully. Besides, I needed a change of scenery after living there for 3 years. My longest stay yet outside of London!”

“I need new ideas for my books. The cities don’t charm me anymore, so I returned here for peace and quiet. Maybe let these ideas come to me rather than me going after them.”

From a bigger lens, people would conclude your interaction as a sight of two artists who passionately talk about their art. But to you, you’d interpret it as two relaxed, young adults in their twenties who simply wanted to run away from the pressures of their art and enjoy the summer as every young adult should.

Not cooped up in the studio or office, but innocently waltzing around with your youth while it’s still there.

début de juillet 1957

“Dépêche-toi, (Y/N)!” [Hurry up, (Y/N)!]

Jaehyun yelled at your open balcony from downstairs, parking his mini car beside your bike. He planned on taking you somewhere a little farther this time; to absolutely feel like one of the locals.

The countryside urged you to wear more dresses and flat shoes, so you took out a turquoise dress with a white scarf to wrap on top of your head. Like your relaxed fit, your mindset too was calm. Upon meeting him, he wore his round spectacles with a red knit sweater over a white turtleneck long-sleeved top. His fingers were adorned with silver rings, then around his neck was a thin black ribbon. He curled some of his hair again, a style you really liked of his.

You can’t lie, but this man could pull any trend or style and still look extra pretty.

Out of all the locals you’ve befriended in your stay, Jaehyun was always your companion. He took you to varying places that those locals don’t visit nor tourists acknowledge in their reviews for the past few weeks. For someone who hasn’t been in the village for a long time, his memory didn’t disappoint. His childhood was only filled with cheerful moments.

Today, he was taking you to a peaceful district of shops in the farther part of the village. It’s where he’d buy sweets, journals, and accessories with his mother, Krystal, and one of his housemaids every other weekend.

All the stores there were currently bombarded with blooming flowers along their alley, bringing more enticement to those who were roaming around. There was so much life here; the head waiter of one restaurant smiling at every passing customer, one florist handing a free flower to anyone who asks, and a young lady showcasing her jewelry collection to a bunch of women who looked like tourists.

“Cette librairie vendent des livres enveloppés dans du papier. Ma mère m'a offerte l'un d'eux pour mon anniversaire tous les ans comme une surprise.” (This bookstore sells books wrapped in paper. My mother gifted me one of them on my birthday every year as a surprise.)

He trained his attention at a rustic shop with open wooden windows giving a glimpse of their shelves.

“Avez-vous fini les lisant?” (Have you finished reading them?)

“Du début à la fin.” (From cover to cover.)

He took you to this rooftop restaurant overlooking the entire plaza. Since he didn’t arrange a reservation yet didn’t get rejected, he must know the owner. Especially how a lot of the staff gave casual hellos and high fives.

Speaking of the owner, he walked out of his kitchen to introduce himself to you. He went by the name Moon Taeil, another one of Jaehyun’s childhood friends whom he used to play at his house whenever his parents came along.

Gobbling up in the appetizing food Taeil prepared beforehand, Jaehyun brought up your painting exhibition again. He loved hearing artists talk about their works, wanting to know more about their driven mindset and what their imagination is like. After all, it does vary for everyone.

“So far,” You poked your fork through the chicken, taking a bite of it. “I’ve produced 3 paintings. The garden of flowers outside Café des Étoiles Perdues, the kids playing hopscotch in the alley, and the peach tree outside your house.”

“Woah, you’re on a roll.” Jaehyun clapped across you, pouring you another glass of water. He recalled the nights you ranted not having any clue what to do for the exhibit. Then after taking you to more places, he’s rewarded to see you be creatively active again. “How many artworks do you left to make?”

“Around 3-4 left. I have ideas already, but I’m still brainstorming.” You internally rejoiced, loving how much progress you’ve made. “How about you, Jaehyun? How’s your progress?”

Unlike you, Jaehyun still felt stuck. Although he did find couples around the village, none of them intrigued him as much as his past stories. But he won’t give up easily; that’s not in his work ethic.

“Still searching, but I’ll get there.”

Recently, you got ahold of some of Jaehyun’s books from him personally since they weren’t sold in the village. You wanted to understand how he became so well known outside the labels people put him under. Reading his first novel entitled “Des Papillons” (Butterflies), it was about a couple separated during World War II without contact or knowledge about their well-being. Yet whenever they saw butterflies on the day they parted, they took it as a sign that the other was alive wherever they were.

You’re always hanging on the cliff when the scenes revert back and forth to the main male lead getting stuck in intense war scenarios, rooting for him to get out alive each time. In the end, it took 7 years before they were reunited and wed.

Jaehyun had a wonderful way with his words and descriptions, managing to enwrap you in as if you’re also a character in the book. Like how you rooted for that male lead, you’re rooting for him to find his spark again.

Following this uplifting conversation, Jaehyun finally took to your greatly anticipated spot. It was the main viewpoint of Gordes, one of the most beautiful hilltop villages in the country. The sunset was about to hit, and the lights from the city across you slowly turned on like a bunch of dominos.

As you marveled at its aesthetics, Jaehyun leaned against the hood of his car. He sensed how in awe you were, more than you ever were in the city he assumed. So used to the city that being surrounded with nature became foreign to you.

He took out his polaroid camera from his trunk and captured a photo of you from behind. The shutter sounds were obvious, turning your back at the commotion. Jaehyun fanned the freshly printed photo to dry, giving a mischievous smile.

“What can I say? While you’re fawning over the view, mine was more enamoring.”

Although Jaehyun felt overwhelmed the first time he locked eyes with you, he can’t resist the power of his developing feelings for you. The more time he took you around, the more his heart found different details about you to admire. After listening to all those love stories in the past, the people he spoke to shared how there will be some distinct moment where your heart decides who they’re longing for.

That exact view of you by the cliff, he already knew.

He’s infatuated by you.

“Tu es très ringard, Jaehyun.” (You’re so cheesy, Jaehyun.) You scoffed sassily, with a hand on your waist.

“Un gentleman ne ment jamais, (Y/N). Allez, il fait nuit maintenant.” [A gentleman never lies, (Y/N). Come on, it’s night already.]

He cleverly responded, grabbing his car keys from his pocket. The trip back to the village was energizing, putting down the roof of his car to relish the chill breeze of the night weather. You even raised your arms in the air, losing your scarf even from the speed Jaehyun went at!

The two of you belted along to the songs on the radio when the fields were the only ones surrounding you, no neighbors to shout at your rambunctiousness.

The late-night hours drew by so quickly almost like dinner with more of Jaehyun’s friends didn’t happen. Arriving at the front doors of your apartment complex, Jaehyun raced over to your side to open your door. Always maintained proper observation of manners, you appreciated that side of him. Rarely anyone in Paris that you’ve encountered treated you that way because you were a foreigner.

“Bonsoir, (Y/N).” [Goodnight, (Y/N).]

“Bonsoir, Jaehyun. Quand est-ce que je te revois?” (Goodnight, Jaehyun. When can I see you again?)

“Demain et après-demain. Appelle-moi quand tu es libre.” (Tomorrow, and the day after that. Just give me a call when you’re free.)

With a short wave, you entered your building and marched up to the stairs. A good day only meant being tired to the core, ready to crash and fall in your soft bed. Opening your wide windows to let more of the cool breeze in, your eyes easily caught Jaehyun’s classy car still there. As for the owner, he didn’t move an inch from his leaning position.

“Rentre à la maison, Jaehyun! C’est tard!” (Go home, Jaehyun! It’s late!) You shrieked, peeking side to side to make sure none of the neighbors scold you.

Jaehyun laughed wholeheartedly, not budging at all. “La nuit ne fait que commencer, ma chérie.” (The night has just begun, my darling.)

“Comment tu m'as appelé?” (What did you call me?)

Either your ears were fooling you or he addressed you by a divine pet name. The gasp you swallowed, as your entire body tingled with exhilaration. Your mind would simply disregard it like his former teasing words, but your heart begged to differ.

Rather than responding with words, Jaehyun’s voice serenaded you with a wondrous song, C’est Si Bon by Eartha Kitt, that played on the radio earlier. Out of the blue, a random guitar accompaniment followed his baritone vocals.

“En voyant notre mine ravie,”

Against the railing of your wired balcony, your body shifted forward to watch him better.

“Les passants dans la rue, nous envient,”

Your hand perched on your cheek, admiring his talent.

“C'est si bon de guetter dans ses yeux,”

It was like a lullaby, and here you were drowning in its peacefulness. Sensing the passion he gives off in his singing, your heart couldn’t refrain the strings inside from being swayed and tugged.

This was your moment of realization: that you too were smitten.

“Un espoir merveilleux, qui donne le frisson…”

À la mi-juillet de 1957

“Hello, nature!” You greeted brightly as your legs raced the huge garden in his manor. It was the first time he invited you over, too lazy to go out of the city. His social battery needed a recharge for the weekend, so a picnic within his home would do the trick. Additionally, it was an excuse to bring you over after the numerous times you’ve begged him to.

Jaehyun merely shook his head, enjoying the rush of childlike fun in your veins while you squealed and grazed your hands through the flowers.

He carried a wooden basket full of treats his family maids cooked, taking his time to venture through the rows of flowers. They were growing healthily and phenomenally these days, sometimes riding his bike to personally water them since he became busy with writing again. Lately, he found inspiration again, and so he wrote day and night to set them free.

“Voila!” You yanked out a sunflower, sniffing it a little. “Come on, Jaehyun! Pick up a few for our lunch!”

He followed your order, picking out some he found ideal. But just for fun, he put down the basket and carried you from behind out of the blue. You tried kicking him away, but his muscular arms can’t compete with your soft ones.

“What are you doing?”

“You said to pick up a flower, so I did. The prettiest of them all.”

His flirtatious words were never serious, yet you took it as a compliment. That’s how high your confidence is. Only we define our own worth, not others. The two of you chatted more about your lives until the first rain of the season poured down, chilling down from the raging heat. None of you had an umbrella; the weather was too unpredictable.

Deciding to just run for it, he gave you the wooden basket to protect yourself whilst he used the blanket you’ve sat on. Running with laughter to return to his mansion in the muddy dirt, the cool drops shivered your figure yet felt fantastic.

If you were in the city, you’d panic because it’d mess your appearance and your boss would be infuriated by your unprofessionalism. But in the countryside, it didn’t matter at all. The condition of the rain wasn’t budging to improve, getting stronger by the minute. His entire house even lost power, his housemaids having to bring candles to his bedroom and your assigned one once night dawned.

It was hopeless to return home for you, plus it’s dangerous to drive in in the dark, narrow streets too. Jaehyun handed you some of his fresh clothes so you’d be free from flinching from cold dress sticking to your body.

“Get dressed and some sleep, (Y/N).”

Nodding, you excused yourself to find the bathroom. You’d assume it’d be easy, but this was your first time in his house; a mansion even. Doors from left to right, long corridors that seemed never-ending, no maids were within the vicinity whom you can ask for guidance.

Resorting to return to Jaehyun’s chamber for help, you were taken aback by what your eyes laid on. In front of his full mirror, he discarded his now-dried shirt. Even with the dim lighting, you could make out that he was fit by the transparent view of his abdomen. Peeping like this was wrong, yet you couldn’t turn away just yet. The heat in your cheeks was inevitable, finding composure in such an unholy sight.

Though a gear in you suddenly twisted; a gear that straightened your nerves. You’re taking a bold move on the chessboard of your feelings. Wholly opening his bedroom door again, you leisurely sauntered inside without warning.

“Oh, (Y/N)! Ne peux pas trouver la salle de bain?” (Oh, (Y/N)! Can’t find the bathroom?)

Unbothered as he stood shirtless, you on the other hand silently dropped his clothes on the floor. Holding intense eye contact, your fingers graciously unzipped the side of your dress. Inch by inch, the tension built up like the strong tiny flames lit on the candles around you two. Joining the pile of clothes, all that remained were your white lace undergarments. Unplanned for the get-go, it’s the ideal set for your earlier outfit at the picnic.

“Je me suis perdue, mais je pense avoir trouvé quelque chose de mieux.” (I got lost, but I think I found something better.)

Your fingers grazed your arm up to your collarbones, faking your naivety. From your lust-filled stare, the glint in Jaehyun’s eyes darkened. He gulped at the revealing sight of you, brushing his hair back to restrain himself.

None of you could utter a single word, only the vivacious rain being the only sounds ringing around you. Thus, you allowed your actions to pursue precisely what you desired to do.

Taking baby steps towards him to test the waters, he met you right in the center and closed the leftover space. His hands cradled your face, whilst yours clung to his chest. His lips tasted like red wine, watching him pour in a glass for himself earlier. He did offer, yet you declined.

Your tongue darted his lower lip, gaining access after. Sensing the edge of his bed, you plopped yourself down the cushion. His knee urged your legs to widen, letting his body slide in. From your face, his fingers lowered to the back of your bra, snapping the clasps open.

“It takes skill to accomplish that in one try, Jaehyun.”

“I lived in Paris too, ma chérie. You out of all people would understand and have the experience.”

His palms massaged your freed breasts, throwing your head back even more to his pillows as his lips ravaged down from your stomach until the fabric of your not-so pure panties.

“Call me that again, please.”

“Ma chérie, seras-tu mienne?” (My darling, will you be mine?) He kissed and licked the tiny ribbon in front repeatedly, where your now-swollen clit laid. It electrified your bones, pulling on to his ruffled hair.

“Tu peux m'avoir.” (You can have me.)

Sex in the form of one-night stands were all you’ve invested; upcoming artists like you weren’t capable to maintain long-term relationships. Les plans à trois even if you’re extra freaky or drunk from the afterparties of your events. All that these occurrences had in common were not seeing those men ever again after sneaking out of their apartments in the morning.

This time, it’s different.

When they said that doing the deed with someone you’re romantically entangled with was more special, they didn’t bluff. You could plan bits of your life, but it can sometimes change aspects of it when you least expect it. Sometimes for the best or the worst, but right now, it went beyond your expectations.

It’s rewarding that the man you’ve slowly fallen for within your stay returned your affections.

Around late 3 am that night, your brain jolted with artistic ideas that awoken your sonorous rest. There are no hopes of sleeping them off because they tend to bother you for hours until you do something about it. But you’re already so cozy having Jaehyun’s arms around you, skin to skin under the duvet. His lips daunted right above your forehead, recalling his endless kisses there that helped you fall asleep.

Well, these ideas don’t work themselves unless you do. Untangling him tactfully, you stepped out of the blanket and wore one of his long white shirts he gave you earlier before pulling out your sketchpad and palette of oil paints.

Luckily, there was still one available candle to use as the rest have melted indefinitely. You slid the matchstick again to the sand surface, boring a flame from the friction which you placed on top of the wick.

All your ideas that night leaned towards one thing, or person rather: Jaehyun.

You spent a few minutes retracing how he vividly looked at the picnic, leaning back from the chair of his work desk. His outfit of a turquoise turtleneck underneath a white button-top with trousers matching the said turtleneck looked good together, how his ears tingled red after you complimented his newfound inspiration for his book, and the prominent veins in his arms when he rolled his sleeves due to the heat.

The thin brush you held defined the shape of his face, then paying attention to the messy strands of his hair. Stroking in a circular way to outline his eyelids, a hoarse grunt disturbed the peaceful silence.

“Get back in bed, ma chérie.” His eyes drowsily opened, lying on his side. The moment he no longer felt your warmth, he worried something happened. Instead, you’re working late at night after quite a rough yet romantic night.

“Shush,” You shunned him down with your index finger. “Give me a few more minutes.”

“Perhaps, are you painting me?” He hunched from the covers. “Your eyes looking back and forth would never lie to me, would they?”

“Maybe…” You teased, batting your eyes at him without any risky intentions. Or not?

He deeply chuckled, sluggishly removing himself under the covers. In his pure nudity, he advanced himself towards you. You shrieked, covering yourself with your free hand.

“Jaehyun, stay back! I told you I’ll be there soon!”

Not listening, he carried your bridal style, making you drop your precious palette to the fur rug. Laying you carefully, he popped each button open. By the sight of his cock hardening again, you knew you were in for another round with him.

“Wet again, ma chérie? Oh, this will be fun.”

Fin de juillet 1957

So this kind of summer romance concept that everyone fantasized about… it became your present.

Together you’d stroll in the smaller streets and immerse yourselves in the unique culture of the village. Whenever anyone saw you together, holding hands, biking, or what-not, they’d praise in the name of love for bringing you both together. A romance like yours in the countryside was a lively sight.

Remember how extensions were a possibility if your search for inspiration wasn’t found? Well, it’s not a question that you’d make one, except inspiration found you instead. And he had one arm around you as he slow danced with you in the open grounds of the village, listening to the live band covering song classics.

In particular, Chet Baker. He was Jaehyun’s favorite artist at the moment.

There was an ongoing week-long festival dedicated to summer, giving more plants their bloom and spreading gratitude to the hardworking people. Especially the students, off on their break.

The faint radiance from the post lights as Jaehyun swayed you around, making you laugh as he tried to mumble the lyrics of the song. All those glasses of wine he tried earlier with you from the bartender offering it for free had its effects, and you weren’t off the hook from them either.

Blisters started to form from your ankles, adjusting to the new pair of heels Jaehyun gave (or insisted to buy) you a while ago after staring at them like lasers. You’ve always provided things for yourself that being spoiled by someone else felt weird to you.

“If there’s anything you want me to buy for you, just tell me.”

“How can I buy you if you’re already mine?”

His smooth talk often made you punch his shoulder, but it’s just a mechanism to hide the exhilaration.

Under each other’s spells in your dance, you laid your head on Jaehyun’s chest. Feeling the strong beat of his heart, you were reminded of how much life he’s filled with. And you became a part of it, in the same way he crossed yours.

Jaehyun’s lips sank to the top of your head, pecking it affectionately. The first-ever summer where he wasn’t stuck at his desk working or drinking his life away with his rich friends in their Parisian homes, it couldn’t get better than this.

“Oiii! Flirtez ailleurs!” (Oiii! Flirt somewhere else!) The distinct voice of Jaemin, handing out pastries to passersby, shouted at the both of you, making you flip your middle finger at him.

“Trouve une copine d’abord, d’accord?!” (Find a girlfriend first, alright?!) You shouted back jokingly, almost falling due to the ache of your feet. Your immodest behavior was censored by Jaehyun’s large palms, not wanting the kids around to see it. Whispering closely to your ear,

“Tu es ivre. Laisse-moi te ramener chez toi.” (You’re drunk. Let me take you home.)

You changed back into your sandals as Jaehyun led you through the different alleys. Your vision was too hazy to navigate, so he had one arm wrapped around your shoulders. The weather grew cold too, shivering your bones so he draped you in his blazer.

“Wait,” You stopped, making him do the same. But before he could ask for your reason, your hands yanked him by his suspenders and your legs walked backward to reach the brick wall. Standing in his 5’11 glory, you were overpowered.

Yet your lips captured his effortlessly, raising to your toes to press yourself closer to him. He moved fast, one arm hugging your waist while the other hoisted your leg up. Tangling around his waist, the urge to move your hips against his crotch couldn’t be contained any longer.

Everyone was probably still out at this time or sleeping. The sloppy sounds you’ve produced were beyond suitable for any audience. Not to mention, the nasty words Jaehyun’s pretty mouth spoke in your ears desired you to fall to your knees.

“Not afraid of getting caught, ma chérie? You want me to ruin you right here, right now?”

“God, Jaehyun,” Your hands tugged his belt forward, the friction it gave to your core twitched the naughty side out of you. “Do it, please.”

The idea of public sex thrilled your mind into overdrive, yet you’ve never done it. In Paris, a city where several people started to know your name, you didn’t need a scandal to be plastered in your resume yet.

Jaehyun himself included, and still opted not to give it to you.

“Another time, ma chérie. Your apartment, now.”

The moment you unlocked your apartment door, Jaehyun was far from gentle like in the mansion. Ripping you out of your frilly dress didn’t take long, so was unbuttoning his trousers down to the floor.

On your knees, his hand gave you a makeshift ponytail as your tongue flicked the slit of his cock. Then slowly taking him inch by inch on your mouth, you’d let out a loud pop when you needed to breathe. Your hands fondling his balls, he groaned from the edge of your bed and tightened his hold on you. Tears formulated in your eyes as you got to swallow him whole, uncontrollably bobbing your head.

He felt like putty when he released, your throat taking the salty base. You hastily unhooked your bra in front of him when suddenly, his hand flicked on the fabric of your panties, cueing you to stop your motion.

“Keep them on when you ride me.”

Straddling on his lap, his head laid against the headboard of his bed. His arms roaming around your back to stabilize you, your fingers pushed your panties to the side as you pushed yourself down his protected length. Your moans became shaky. Up and down, you bounced while bracing on his shoulders.

Against his ear, your moans were harmonious. His hips moved against your beat, hitting your g-spot like the sexual ace he is. His thumb rubbing your clit, you shuttered your eyes at the impending high approaching you like a bus.

“I’m close.” You choked out, the overstimulation overwhelming your nerves.

“Fuck, me too.” He grunted, slapping your butt that made you shriek.

Soon enough, everything hit you both all at once. The knot snapped, and so did your body falling on his chest after a single scream. Panting, Jaehyun pecked on your temple as his cock softened up. Once you returned to your senses, you lifted yourself from his length, laying bare beside him.

His eyes started to fall, but before they did, he muttered huskily. “Je t’aime, (Y/N).”

It was the first time he’s said those words in the way they meant, and he’s more than certain that it’s what he felt with you. Sure, it started as mutual infatuation, but now, it can’t leave. Not on his watch.

Love was a concept unfamiliar to you, but Jaehyun slowly taught you what it was and how it felt like. Books and films may give sneak peeks, but to personally give and receive it back was made possible by him.

From this moment on, you could conclude that yes, you reciprocated it.

“Je t’aime aussi, Jaehyun.”

16 octobre 1957

Autumn made its way to the countryside.

The leaves switched into red-brown shades, the weather in the south was warmer, and the wine harvest was highly anticipated. Jaehyun’s camera was a common item in your outings, taking as many photos as he could so the two of you had something to look back on.

Planned and candid, his range was wide. These were moments that proved that your youth was as happy as you wished it to be. You wouldn’t trade it for anything else.

Painting in his mansion was a regular thing, having new canvases prepared at his patio. There were so many items that amused you there like you could base your entire collection on his home. It’s not like Jaehyun could argue; it meant more time with you whenever you came over.

“Jaehyun, if you smudge paint on me, so help me Go-” He refused to listen to your “threats”, smearing black paint on your cheek.

“You were saying?” He cockily pestered, showcasing his paint-filled fingers. You dipped one of your brushes into the new paint and chased after him without hesitation. The entire evening became a paint war, a laugh fit even after seeing your reflections in the mirror. But before you could clean yourself, Jaehyun’s camera was by your face and he pressed the button.

“Still breathtaking.”

But the middle of the season arrived, that’s where your planned extension you’ve reached its end. The exhibit was next month, getting calls from your boss regarding your return and the paintings you’ll present. You informed her that you already had them mailed to your studio way back, so there’s nothing much to worry about.

All your bags were packed in the private car Jaehyun rented. Here, you’re bidding your goodbyes to every friend you’ve made outside the doors of your apartment complex, saving your last words with Jaehyun.

The night before, he stayed over and helped you pack your last items in luggage bags. He even brought extra clothes for you so you wouldn’t work extra. You’ve talked it out the whole evening through what happens next to ease your worries. In your bed, he opened the wide windows and pulled you under the sheets.

“Write to me.”

“Call me when you’re free, or whenever you feel like it.”

Leaning against the railing of the stairs, watched the sorrow in your face over this parting. He sensed how bittersweet everything was, but he wouldn’t change anything about it. He’s positive that your story won’t end here, not right now.

Sauntering to him, you sighed whilst taking your bag he held the whole time from him. His touch was tighter as the two of you hugged tenderly, nuzzling his head on your shoulder. The scent of his citrus cologne that implanted in your brain felt comforting, despite the uncertainty of everything between you.

You hinted a minty taste from the menthol candies from his home as his lips brushed yours, colliding it timely. He waited when everyone left, relishing these last seconds.

Stepping inside the vehicle, you waved your summer love farewell one more time before the driver hit the pedal. Your eyes couldn’t stray away from looking back, the distance between him and your former apartment widening. Only when he was no longer in the frame, you shifted your focus back in front.

Your fingers fiddled with the charm bracelet he gifted you from the market. It was custom-made by a jeweler who was great friends with his mother in his younger years. There were two pendants chained on it: a paintbrush and the sun.

“A paintbrush to remind you of your passion, and the sun to remind you of the summer we first met.”

The man was like one of his romance books, in human form. He knew how to catch your breath effortlessly.

Your stay, for now, may have concluded, but there was always next summer. And the ones after that. The village felt like a second home, one you can’t neglect like the other places you’ve lived. Then having Jaehyun here, the more reasons to return.

Undoubtedly the best vacation you’ve ever been in your adult years, one that didn’t sacrifice for your art so you could compete with other artists. The weight on your chest poofed into thin air, and you felt ready for what the next steps as a painter were.

Appreciating the greenery you passed by, you peeked over the side mirror of the car only to find Jaehyun quickly biking in your direction.

Now, what was he up to?

You instantly requested the driver to slow down his pace, rolling down the window of the car. Not caring about the strong winds, “You fool, what are you doing?!”

Although he trusted your last words, he had the greed to see your face again. It would be a long time until he’ll see you in person again. So he pedaled as fast he could to still reach you. Oh, the things you do when you’re in love.

“Mon cœur bat la chamade pour toi, (Y/N)!” [My heart beats loudly for you, (Y/N)!]

You giggled at his silliness, throwing out flying kisses.

“Je reviendrai bientôt, Jaehyun!” (I’ll come back soon, Jaehyun!)

21 octobre 1957

Only your friends at the studio gave you a warm welcome back, receiving comments like “get back to work” from your first encounter with your boss. Popping a champagne glass open after work hours on the rooftop of your studio, they interrogated you with all the questions they could think of.

“So this village in Provence…. was it beautiful as the tourists said?” Ten, who moved from his home in Thailand to Paris at a young age, expressed his curiosity whilst leaning against the railing overlooking the Eiffel Tower.

“Beautiful is an understatement, Ten. I miss it dearly!” You heaved a sigh, twirling your glass.

“So this inspiration you were looking for…” Amélie, your dear friend since your university days, created some tension as she prolonged her last word. Playfulness twinkled in her eyes, crossing her legs. “Was a person involved by any chance?”

For a moment, your throat almost gagged on the sizzling alcohol going down.

“What do you mean?” You acted clueless, pouring your now empty glass with more booze. But the moment Ten gave you the troublesome look coordinating with Amélie, you already knew you wouldn’t hear the end of it. These two were such gossips in and out of the studio.

Ten took the seat across you on the table and leaked all his pent-up information.

“So you know Seo Youngho, the only son of the Seo family. Rich, socialite, a total hotshot… yeah, all that jazz.” He dived in, seeing you nod over knowing that man. Someone in the past you’ve slept with, but that’s another story. “Well, Amelie and I attended one of his parties at his large penthouse. He had his usual crowd there; Kim Doyoung, Lee Taeyong, Nakamoto Yuta, and Lee Minhyung. But fun fact: there’s another member in that friend group who doesn’t go to these kinds of events.”

“Here’s where it gets interesting,” Amélie excitedly took off like the pipelette (chatterbox) she is. “Youngho, who was talking to us for a bit, asked where you’ve run off. Poor him, he must’ve missed you in his bed but anyway! We told him that you went down south somewhere in Provence for a break. Oddly enough, he mentioned how the mentioned member moved back there for the same reason.”

Ten and Amélie gave each other another frisky look, merely to piss you off. So predictable of them.

“Get to the point please!” You screeched.

“Jeong Jaehyun, ever heard of him?” Amélie imitated your tone of voice. “I mean, you should since you made a whole painting of him.”

“H-How,” Speechless, that’s what you were. Ten went on a fit of giggles, signaling the build-up of his intoxication.

“Youngho visited the studio to find a specific painting for his home, and we helped him in choosing. Then when your deliveries of paintings arrived that day and were unwrapped, the look on his face when he saw Jaehyun’s painting was priceless. Things started to add up, especially when he told us that he called up Jaehyun prior, he said that Jaehyun was seeing a girl during his stay there.”

“A young, burnt-out painter from Paris, to be specific.”

They’ve put you on the edge of the cliff, and it was too close to call it a coincidence. Of all things to be revealed, this had to be the first.

“Well, I was waiting for another time to tell you guys about him though.”

Their gasps of joy could give you guys a noise complaint by the neighbors, telling all about your escapades of him and you. During it, the more you missed seeing him daily either on his bike or his car. It was stuck in your routine, but now it’s reverted to your old one.

Could the next summer come any faster?

14 février 1958

Perhaps your newest collection at the Louvre was your most successful one yet.

Entitled “Inspirez, Expirez” (Breathe In, Breathe Out), your sceneries during your stay in the village varied. An old couple slow dancing under the night sky, and the quiet district of shops Jaehyun took you, those were some of your last additions.

A multitude of positive reviews on the newspapers and art magazines came in, commending on taking on a fresher, brighter outlook for a change whilst finding your spark again. As fulfilling it was, what you longed the most was the one responsible for it.

Lately, it’s been tough to contact him. His maids always answered the calls, informing you that he was busy with work or family matters. It’s so rare for him to act like this. Whatever it was, it wasn’t grand or serious hopefully.

Back to your collection, tonight was the last night of it. Just in time for Valentine’s day, where numerous socialite lovers embarked on this event, but you’re more fixated that it was also Jaehyun’s birthday. A boy full of love born on the day dedicated for it, things made more sense. In case, you’ve sent your birthday wishes to him through letter and passing the message to one of his maids. Even on his special day, he hasn’t reached out to you.

But to momentarily forget about that, there was a closing ceremony held for this exhibit with the other artists involved, and it was your turn to give your final remarks. More esteemed socialites and journalists were present, which didn’t halt your nerves the slightest. You were a professional after all, holding pride in your craft as you stood in front of the microphone wearing your new favorite custom-made gown.

There are perks when you have close friends in the fashion industry, specifically Kim “Key” Kibum from the House of Key. After defending him from a disrespectful client when you were picking up a dress for your boss during your internship years, not only did you earn his respect, but an invite to his shows and first claiming of new items from his collections. Dining in expensive restaurants in the metro was a plus, catching up on your lives. Sometimes calling each other out for your sexcapades too.

Speaking of him, he was in the crowd that night, ordering every photographer to take photos of your gorgeous self in one of his dresses. Or in your opinion, bribing some by how he stuffed a few thick stacks of Euro bills down their pockets.

Only one of it ever made. A dark green satin v-neck off-the-shoulder gown, where diamonds adorned your neck and ears and white stilettos kept your perfect balance. Also courtesy of Key.

Because it’s the winter season, he gifted you a limited edition white fur coat every socialite tried getting their hands on. Your hair was styled in a bun, emphasizing your dark tinted lips from this new lipstick Amelie insisted you buy.

Most people would get the first impression that you were one of the socialites, a child from one of the affluent families even. But you were a lot more remarkable than that, having inborn talent in the arts that you specialized over your youth and rising to the top without any parental help.

“Thank you to everyone for their endless support towards the magnificent collections of each artist present. As for mine, I am grateful to rechannel my creative side by taking a break. Rather than romanticizing overworking our bones to the core, there’s nothing wrong with taking a step back from the pressure. Being alive is a blessing, realizing further how our youth won’t stay with us forever. Being away from the boisterous cities, I found relaxation in the countryside of Provence.”

Your lips quirked into a grin as every single memory during that time reeled in your head like a movie. “The beauty of Provence cannot be simply put in words. The muses I’ve encountered were more than lovely, especially the man behind the Poetic Rose. With that, I sincerely thank everyone from my bottom of my heart and I hope to continue to support me in the years to come.”

The applause roared once you stepped down the platform, shaking hands with every esteemed guest with more gratitude as they praised you. These days, socializing with them was a lot easier. You’ve even taken more initiative to greet people first before they do, conversing with them easily about anything.

Key definitely noticed that as you toured him around your section, holding his nth glass of wine for the night.

“You, Madame (Y/N), transformed into a social butterfly.” He nudged your shoulder, smirking once he got a better view of his favorite painting from you. “I guess that’s the thing when you’re in love.”

“I beg your pardon?”

With this free hand, he motioned it up and down at the painting in front of you. “The Poetic Rose is none other than the youngest son of the Jeong family, whom I’ve met through his older sister, Krystal.”

“Am I really the only one who doesn’t know him?!” You stressed, jokingly. Key was elated to capture you in his trap, the changes of your personality too evident in his eyes. Figuring it out that it was love took a while, but being acquainted with Krystal, she’s the one who told him that her younger brother was in love with a painter in Provence. Do the math.

“I’ve met him through his older sister, one of my highly favored clients. He’s not much of a socialite like her, so I don’t really blame you for that.”

Searching for a waiter to refill your wine glasses, a surprise emerged the both of you.

“Madame Krystal, you’re absolutely stunning.”  Key complimented her, giving the engaged heiress of Jeong Tea Inc. kisses on the cheek as respect. Her recent engagement to Kim Donghyun, her childhood sweetheart and also the heir of Kim Couture, was the talk of the town.

They arrived at the event together, drawing the attention of everyone in the room earlier. Now, he was speaking to a few influential socialites he made a deal with this week about the art collections present.

“Key, you never fail to look fantastic,” She remarked positively, poking his necktie before placing her undivided attention on you. “So you must be (Y/N) (Y/L/N). You’re beyond bewildering in that gown.”

“Flattered to hear that, Madame Krystal. Such a pleasure to meet you.”

The three of you chatted as if you were the only people there. From art, passion, and love, pride filled in your chest when you toured your collection. It was like walking down memory lane for her, adding out how she used to climb the peach tree with her younger brother during their childhood. Once her eyes laid on Poetic Rose, she took her time admiring it.

“My younger brother grew up well. That’s all I could ever hope for as his only older sister.” She paused, noticing how silent you became when you stared at the painting along with her. She observed the passion lit in your eyes, yet there was longing behind it by the way your lips pouted briefly. “You must really love him, do you?”

“I do, truly. After meeting him, not only was I boosted with so much ideas, but my heart embraced him for what and who he is in this universe.” You professed confidently, earning an approving smile from Krystal.

“If that’s how you feel, why not tell him that yourself?”

Her fingers gestured you to turn around. Stood in a grey suit with his brown hair slicked back, it was like seeing a completely new person. A handsome one though. His fashion in the countryside heavily differed from his fashion in the cities. So sophisticated and refined, he looked like a prince straight out of a fairytale.

Your fairytale.

“Jaehyun.”

It’s like everything stopped once he sprinted towards you, pulling you off your feet for a snug hug. Your arms threw themselves on his neck by instinct, not wasting a single second in his grasp. Your nose inhaled the woody scent of his cologne, something more formal than his usual fruity scent.

The smell of aftershave in his jaw couldn’t go ignored either, assuming that he must have had plans to go out tonight. Nonetheless, you squealed as if you were back in Provence, giggling at his boldness. Once he put you down, neither of you could get your hands off each other.

“What are you doing here? You didn’t tell me you’d be in Paris!” Clutching your waist, you gazed at him with doe-like eyes, instilling confusion.

“J’ai voulu te surprendre, my chérie.” (I wanted to surprise you, my darling.)

He chuckled, pushing some straying strands of your hair behind your ear. His eyes evoked so much endearment towards this elegant look you prepared, making his heart race as if he were in the gardens of his manor again.

Hearing his petname for you again attacked your heart every time no matter how much time passed, he lifted your chin high. Jaehyun urged himself to kiss you senseless right there, leaning lower. And yes, you anticipated it by how your eyes instantly closed.

Only if it weren’t for Krystal to clear her throat, obviously ruining the mood. Flinching away from your sensual lover, you rubbed the nape of your neck. Towards an heiress like her, it must’ve been unprofessional.

“Couldn’t you at least wait until I left, younger brother?” Her fingers flicked Jaehyun’s forehead, a teasing trick they used to do as kids. Even if she was a lot shorter now, it didn’t mean the impact was weak. He cursed under his breath, covering his forehead.

Stifling your laughter was a failure, crinkling your eyes to unleash your emotions. So this is what their sibling dynamic was like?

“Now excuse me, older sister. You didn’t tell me you were visiting the exhibit after my birthday dinner with our parents?” He crossed his arms, exchanging a judgmental look. For his sake, he wanted to maintain his pride. “All you said after dinner was that you were going straight home with your fiancé after all the alcohol mother gave you because it made you lightheaded.”

“Well, you know Key and his persuasiveness. He insisted I attend this event last minute because all the collections were amazing.” She explained, shedding a subtle glance at you. “Plus, it’s an excuse to finally meet this lovely girl you raved so much through your letters.”

Jaehyun kept his family life private, so this piece of information was new to you. The unpredicted way the fluttering feeling drew in your stomach, all you could do was smile from the flattery.

“He spoke about me to you?”

“More than speak, my dear. He practically professed his love for you, asking me advice on how to court a girl, make them smile, etcetera. You’re the first girl he’s been this affectionate with, and I completely understand now.” She patted your shoulder, hopeful. She had such a strong older sister vibe, reminding you of your older siblings back home. “You’re a clever, talented woman. I look forward to seeing you more often.”

As you nodded in approval, she turned towards her brother with her recurring teasing look. “Yah, Jaehyun. You better take care of her. If she ever sheds a tear because of you, I’m hunting you down in the gardens.”

“Harsh of you, Krystal.” He planted his hand on his chest, feigning pain. “But no worries. Having you and mother around me kept me well-mannered towards women growing up.”

Playfulness aside, Krystal felt honored towards her younger brother. Men these days maintained their sexist beliefs and rudeness, especially those who doubted her high position in the family business once her father stepped down. Nowadays, it’s men like Jaehyun who could really challenge the patriarchy and make women pursue a lot more than being limited as a housewife.

“I’ll keep that in mind. Now please excuse me, I’ll be on my way.”

Krystal waltzed her way out without tripping from her slight intoxication, which Jaehyun worried about earlier. But anyway, that left him alone with you. Filled with so many questions, you didn’t know where to start.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were coming to Paris? Why didn’t you acknowledge my birthday wishes to you? Why aren’t you answering my calls and letters?” You blurted without wasting a breath, weren’t trying to come off as needy, but it became peculiar when he was contacting you like usual.

You pushed off thinking of the worst scenarios, not wanting it to ruin your drive and your emotions either. Yet you trusted Jaehyun enough to know he wasn’t the type of person either.

“Okay slow down, ma chérie.” His hands maneuvered for you to stop for a bit. “Ask me one by one and I’ll give you a solid answer for each while we roam around.”

He arrived in Paris last week, which was initially for work. Then his birthday clashing was a coincidence. It would be too lonely to go home and celebrate his special day alone, so he extended. But again, it’s his work that caused his abrupt contact.

When you were too busy delving into the success of recovering your inspiration, he also found his spur to write again too. Day and night, his mind kept him tedious with an endless trail of thoughts and words. Overall, he finalized it then brought the end product to the same publishing house where his books in the past went through.

In fact, he decided to publish them specifically today on his birthday. The only day in his itinerary he planned, where after publishing, he’d hang out with his friends, have dinner with his family then run off to reunite with you.

“I didn’t intend to make you feel like a second choice, so please forgive me for that, ma chérie.”

“All is forgiven, Jaehyun.” You held both his hands, kissing them tenderly out of habit. “I’m overjoyed that you rekindled your creative side again.”

You were so understanding and empathetic, and Jaehyun aimed to act that way too. He learned so much from you as his friend before being his lover. Quickly enough, you’re both back to his portrait in the center. Like a critic, he narrowed his eyes and scrunched his nose. Tapping his chin with his finger,

“This man in Poetic Rose, he’s quite dashing.” He commented with conceit, walking closer to it to view it better. “His freckles are on point, his dimples and dazzling eyes too. Why exactly is he described as a Poetic Rose?”

“Well sir,” You stood beside him, imitating his actions. “This man here always spoke so eloquently, like he had a very poetic approach on life. He reminded me also of a rose by his rosy tinted cheeks and his beauty. He was alluring inside and out.”

“Is he your favorite muse?”

“I never quoted him as a muse because he’s more than that. Muses can be replaced once they no longer serve purpose towards the artist. Though with him, he’s the never-ending flame that I want to keep for the rest of time."

You held on to his hand, interlocking your fingers with his. The apparent reddening of his ears proved that he was flustered, yet you spoke no lies.

“Joyeux anniversaire, ma flamme.” (Happy birthday, my flame.)

“Merci beaucoup, ma chérie.” (Thank you, my darling.)

Something about his new release piqued your attention so you brought it up again.

“So tell me about your new book.”

“Let me show you instead.” Inside the blazer, there was an inner pocket that sealed a small hardbound book. Taking it out, he handed it over to you. “This is your copy.”

The cover of the book had an illustration of two young adults running down the fields under the bright sun, with the title written in cursive and placed in the center.

“L’Été de 1957.” (The Summer of 1957.)

Like a child who received a new gift in the mail, you flipped the book open. Seeing the table of contents and credits to other important people involved in the process, there was a detailed dedication right before the starting chapter. It’s an unexpected page, noticing that he never put anything like this in his last works.

“Pour ma chérie, qui a peint les couleurs manquantes de ma vie.” (For my darling, who painted the missing colors of my life.)

Although Jaehyun planned to write about the couples he met in the countryside, he chose to change his perspective. Instead, he based this new book on your summer romance, installing more original characters who made your romance blossom more.

“I was once so engaged in listening to people’s love stories, hung up on what they felt.” He expounded, pacing around the floor whilst you skimmed through the pages. There were black and white photos from your adventures too to wrap the reader further in the story.

“While I was struggling to find the next story, I realized late that my story with you was a perfect choice. When I fell in love with you, it’s like I didn’t have to fret anymore about anything. Everything slowly yet surely aligned into place for me. Like how we found inspiration in each other.”

A poetic speaker meant having a poetic, wise mind. You kept an open mind whenever Jaehyun shared his thoughts on life with you, an intimate time that didn’t require using your bodies. Whether you were stargazing or drinking wine by his patio, his soulful personality never changed.

“So I recapped every single memory we had and compiled them,” He resumed, taking a closer step towards yours. His warm hands grasped your waist again, catching a glimpse of your astonished face. Mostly, towards your lips that he missed feeling against his.

“This book expressed my own take on love this time, the one I want to grow in.”

You’d care less if you dropped the book and your coat right there, your major desire to kiss him again was driving your senses to the edge of a cliff. Nothing could’ve braced yourself the second you fervently collided your lips with his. It didn’t feel like you were in this exhibit, but somewhere back in his mansion engulfed in each other’s presence.

Your legs almost melted by your daring move, if it weren’t for Jaehyun’s arm moving upwards to your back to stabilize you more. Your body tingled with goosebumps due to his relaxing fingers all over your body. His tongue caved in your lips, and you couldn’t ban its access.

Such an explicit sight, it felt forbidden as you were inches away from the public crowd. Yet it was the least of your worries if they made a big fuss over it. Jaehyun was here again with you, and that was more valuable to you. He savored every trace of your touches, taking his delicate time with you. No past birthday could defeat this, especially when it’s the first one to celebrate with you. The first of many.

As much you wanted to keep this up for hours, your lungs started feeling constricted of air so your lips timidly let go. Though your hands couldn’t, your overwhelmed eyes couldn’t shift away from the heart-stopping view of your lover. Wherein even after such a fearless session, his eyes fused with love and need with his plumper lips.

“Everything about Provence, especially you, that’s the life I want.” You confessed this concealed secret that’s revolved your head for a while now. Yet its certainty was true.

“Are you sure, ma chérie? What about work?” As an artist, he believed you should stay where everything is accessible. Yet as his woman, he wanted you to follow your heart. Jaehyun didn’t want you to choose or struggle.

“I’ve grown out from the idea that the city life was the only life meant of an artist like me.” You replied, confident enough to discuss it after deep thought. “Cities like Paris hold exciting, vigorous flames that will have you clinging on to them. But then, they’ll eventually die the longer you stay. You get burned in the process too. However, I stand by what I said earlier. I found an endless flame when I met and began loving you, Jaehyun. It doesn’t sting at all; it illuminates strongly every living day.”

Urging him to lower his stance with your fingers, you stated one last phrase. “Wherever you are, that’s where I want to be.”

“If that’s the case,” Jaehyun acknowledged, sticking his arm out for you. “Let’s get out of here.”

Astounded expressions crowded the socialites in the event as they watched the both of you exit together. If the news of Krystal and Donghyun weren’t crazy enough, some journalists figured the mysterious man behind The Poetic Rose and spread it like wildfire.

How was the youngest son of the Jeong family turned renowned romance novel author connected to the impressive, up-and-coming painter from London?

What really went down in Provence?

“How can you miss out on the signs? Did you not see them share a kiss earlier?” Key protested to those who weren’t approving whatever relationship you guys had. He loved his tea but hated those who simply were money hungry. Wanting a chance to be a part of the rich family, only to fish them out of their riches sooner or later.

Meanwhile, the winter season didn’t stop any of you from roaming the streets of Paris. Moments like these were a preview of the future you’ve envisioned with Jaehyun. Youthful, free, and fiery, a love between two artists created more magic not just in their crafts but to those around them.

Promenading a street overlooking the Seine River, Jaehyun took out a smaller instant camera from his pocket and took a candid shot of you. Stunned, you slapped his chest with your bag.

“Hey! Just how many more things are hidden in your blazer?”

“Just my wallet and a few condoms. Why’d you ask?” He raised a suggestive brow, feigning good intentions.

You hummed, faking your deep thought mindset. “At this rate, I don’t think we’ll make it back to my apartment alive.”

Jaehyun tugged you by your coat, his lips hovering your ear to whisper. “If we call a cab right now, I can finger you in the backseat.”

You chuckled at his vulgar idea, but it seemed ideal. You loved the thrill of getting caught or having someone overhearing you two, just like him. Besides, his fingers don’t match up to yours when you touch yourself alone in your apartment. You bat your eyelashes, giving in.

“Deal.”

6 ans plus tard (1964)

Summer returned, the sun strongly smiling down to the plentiful flowers at your family garden. By the patio of your home, your canvas was already laid by the easel stand. Shades of yellow were applied first to symbolize the brightness of the day, following the outline of your desired scenery for this piece.

Dipping the brush in water to change colors, you took another glance at the breezy sky. Light blue with clouds resembling soft pillows, you inhaled gently as your brush faintly stroked the canvas again.

Your hair was tied in a bun, meaning that you’re in for a busy session. But a more soothing one as the jazz music flowed from the vinyl player inside. Stress was the last thing you needed right now.

“What’s madame artiste up to right now?” Your husband piped in from behind, placing down a tray of tea and crackers. With some top buttons of his white top left unattended, you glimpsed on his toned chest when he leaned down. But you mustn’t pry whilst working, even when temptation was calling your name repeatedly.

“The summer sunshine healed me of my discomfort, so I think it’s about time I painted again.” You chewed on the snack, looking back and forth to the view. As enchanting as all the flowers you and him planted over the years grew, you’re more amused by a little boy strolling around it with his magnifying glass and tiny wooden basket with his furry puppy by his side.

His tiny legs often troubled the two of you because he enjoyed spending time with nature. Only God knows what he found in the garden this time.

“Adrien est explorer encore. Devrais-je lui dire qu’il change de place, ma chérie?” (Adrien is exploring again. Should I tell him to change places, my darling?) Jaehyun cautiously asked, not wanting his 3 year old son to impair your perspective.

“Non,” (No,) You held on to his hand, kissing it sweetly. Although you peeved any unnecessary details found in your scenery in the past, Adrien was an exception. As his mother, it’s hard to say no to him unless necessary.

“Il est un garçon curieux, alors il devrait explorer et flâner où il veut.” (He’s a curious boy, so he should explore and wander wherever he wants.)

Life ever since you returned to the countryside shifted into something more precious than you imagined. From moving places constantly, you found a home to settle in for good. A home with overflowing love and inspiration. A home within Jeong Jaehyun.

Recently, you halted your work-related activities in Paris and came home because you were heavily homesick. It even affected your health as a whole. So you made adjustments with your schedules, postponing appearances to events to next year.

On the plus side, you could be more active as a mother to Adrien. It felt like you burdened Jaehyun to take care of Adrien most of the time because he mainly worked from home, wherein important people who wanted to meet him would have to fly out to the countryside.

Back and forth to Paris, your presence towards Adrien often lacked. Here came your biggest fear, which was Adrien forgetting you. But Jaehyun told you over and over again that it wasn’t the case. As he listened to every wrenching thought you had, but he’d combat it with heartfelt words of reassurance so you wouldn’t overanalyze things.

He vowed to love and take care of you when times get hard, and he will continue doing so.

Remember when you said how his mansion felt too big?

It no longer did after getting married.

It gave more room to grow and breathe more life into it. When Adrien was born, he was the prime reflection of your and Jaehyun’s love. He mirrored his father’s physical traits but with a daring personality like yours. A perfect mixture, the world worked amazingly to bring a boy like him into your life.

“Maman! Papa!” Adrien bolted to where you and Jaehyun stood. From the clothes he wore, it’s very much clear that his father was in charge of it whilst you slept in the entire morning. Suspenders, capri shorts, a white shirt, and a red beret, he deserved his title as Jaehyun’s mini-me.

Jaehyun swelled with pride and love for his only son, peeking over what he brought to show and tell you both. “Oh Adrien, what do you have for us today?”

In his basket, there were 3 sunflowers stuck out from the edge. It’s been a while since you’ve seen some in full bloom, lowering your stance to get a more vivid view. He took them out to hand them to you and your husband.

One flower for Jaehyun and two for you. You let out a gasp, scrunching your brows to the center. He always gave one of each item to you and Jaehyun, never more or less.

“Ooh, deux fleurs pour Maman. Pourquoi, Rien?” (Ooh, two flowers for Mama. Why, Rien?) Jaehyun let his nickname out for his lips while you grasped his small hand.

“Well, I heard from Olivier next door that on his birthday, he gave extra flowers to his mother so he could have another sibling. And it worked!” He spoke so innocently, yet it hitched a choke from Jaehyun’s chest. Your eyes widened from disbelief. The information he collected due to his curiosity, no boundaries truly.

“Le mois prochain, c’est mon anniversaire. Je me demandais si je peux avoir un frère ou sœur comme Olivier? Tu es toujours occupée, comme Papa. Je ne veux plus être seul, alors je veux une amie aussi.” (It’s my birthday next month, and I was wondering if I can have a sibling like Olivier? You are always busy, like Papa. I don’t want to be alone anymore, so I want a friend too.)

You exchanged looks with Jaehyun, not knowing how exactly to respond. Although you and Jaehyun did agree that you wanted more than one child when you were younger, neither of you brought it up again since your careers were always loaded with plans.

Adrien was a surprise child actually, conceived on the night where you and Jaehyun celebrated after L’Été de 1957 was announced to be the best-selling romance novel of the decade in the country.

In Paris at his family home, where his parents brought out all their prized liquor, the two of you drank the entire night away to the point Krystal and Donghyun had to push you away from each other from your public affections because their children were present.

But it didn’t stop you two once you reached his bedroom, far away from everything and everyone. And you’ll never change it.

“Oh, Rien,” You eased in, consoling him. “Je suis désolé. Mais c’est franchement une grande demande, n'est-ce pas?” (I am sorry. But that’s quite a big request, right?)

“Mom and I will think about it first, okay? Another kid is a big responsibility, and you’ll be their older brother. That’s another important job, can you do it well?”

“Yes, I can, Papa!” He beamed with glee, his covered head patted by his father after. As you placed the sunflowers beside your palette, Adrien then proceeded to ask you if he could paint with you like old times.

Never you refuse especially with his sparkling round eyes and chubby face that makes you want to squish every time.

As you lifted his light body to sit on your lap, you placed your brush between his stubby fingers and carefully aimed in whatever angle seemed fit so the painting process would run smoothly and perfectly. He let out sounds of amazement when the strokes get bigger, jumping slightly too because the picture became more vivid. You’d smile and coo at him, commending whenever he followed instructions well. As his mother, you only encouraged your child in whatever they want to excel in.

Adrien was the child of two artists, so it was only natural that he had an artistic side in his veins.

Too caught up in your fun, hearing the automatic shutter of the camera from your side was delayed. The source was none other than Jaehyun hiding behind his camera. Jaehyun’s heart soared at the heavenly view of the most important people in his life, wanting to treasure the moment as a lovely memory.

“Hey!” You shouted, placing down the messy brush by the palette. “Je suis très laid!” (I am very ugly!)

“Shh! Tu est rayonnant, ma chérie. Papa est juste, Rien?” (Shh! You are glowing, my darling. Papa is right, Rien?)

Jaehyun politely quizzed the peppy boy, nodding excitedly. His dimples deeply showed up, the main trait he claimed from his father.

“Oui, papa! Maman est toujours belle!” (Yes, papa! Mama is always beautiful!)

He exclaimed, pecking your cheek numerously. You squealed, attacking him with tickles and kisses back. His shouts of delight, then he was suddenly carried by your tall husband in the air like he was flying in the sky. Adrien enjoyed that motion highly, ending up on Jaehyun’s shoulders shortly after to play by the garden again.

“Go paint. I’ll take care of him now.” Jaehyun persuaded, roaming through the long rows of flowers in full bloom. Though seconds after adding some strokes to your piece, you let down your hair, put a hat and sandals on, and ran to the cute duo to join them.

And that’s how your family spent the entire afternoon. By the garden, running around and taking photos and short videos from Jaehyun’s camera. Freezing these valuable memories, this was truly the life you loved so much.

After your break, you could convince the company you worked at that you’d prefer fewer trips to Paris and stay in the countryside longer. How badly you’ve wanted to hold your exhibits here instead. Plus like Jaehyun, let influential people visit you. You’ve already made a big name for yourself now, so that should be valid enough.

Dinner time passed by quickly too, eventually putting Adrien to a smooth slumber as you massaged the roots of his soft hair while Jaehyun sang him a lullaby. This was your joint parenting technique with him since he was a newborn, and it worked quickly as lightning.

You redressed into your silk nightgown after bringing your canvas to the master bedroom, opening the balcony doors to invite the cool breeze in. You tweaked some bits of your painting, including a silhouette of your small family. Regarding where to place it, probably by the living room as it matched the theme.

“What a spectacular day, don’t you think, ma chérie?” Jaehyun conversed, admiring the calm movements of your brush. He noticed a quirky smile grace your lips.

“It’s been a long time since we had quality time like that with Rien. He’s a feisty ball of energy these days.” You replied with a nostalgic daze. “It’s so crazy how one day, he was still crawling to us. Now, he could outrun the both of us.”

“Comme le temps passe vite, hmm?” (How time flies fast, hmm?) Nodding, nothing braced for what your husband had in mind. You almost dropped your brush mid-way. Jaehyun’s lips impatiently devoured your neck, his huge hands fondling your breasts. Violently throwing your head back against his chest, a needy moan parted your lips.

“Jae-” His touches reaching south to where you desired him highly, dampening hastily as your legs naturally spread apart. Rushed exhales, “À quoi tu penses maintenant?” (What are you thinking about right now?)

“Rien se sent seul,” (Rien feels alone,) His hot breath whispered against your ear, his fingers dangerously trailing your thin panties up and down. With your hands tightly clutching on his bicep,

“Alors, donnons-lui une amie.” (We should give him a friend.)

Ever since Adrien mentioned such a daring topic, it hasn’t left Jaehyun’s mind the whole day. After seeing you in utter bliss with your son earlier, he found you so majestic and radiant. It’s a different kind of happiness, especially for parents.

Now you went on hiatus, he thought that it was the right time to have another. He enjoyed his younger years with Krystal, and he wanted Adrien to experience it too. 3 years was quite a wait, and it seemed ideal to try again.

From his nude chest, you flipped around to intensely clash his lips with yours. Draping your arms behind his neck, Jaehyun lifted your entire figure from the chair. His hands gripping on your butt, he delicately lowered you down your bed.

Drowning into his sensual kisses with his hands all over you, this could prolong for hours. Reddening love marks started to resurface whilst your fingers tugged on the drawstring of his pajama pants. Jaehyun’s fingers dove under the fabric of your panties, his index finger rubbing figure 8s the sensitive bundle of nerves.

You struggled to swallow your moans, not wanting Rien to hear it. You wouldn’t want to repeat history, covering it as Jaehyun massaging you after a hard day.

“I know you want one too, ma chérie.” His fingers began to drape down the straps of your gown, presenting your breasts in its full, perky view. But before his lips could suck on your erect nipples, you parted momentarily from him and got up on your feet. Pulling up your straps again, Jaehyun simply laid down but he wasn’t pleased from how you left him hanging.

“Où vas-tu, ma chérie?” (Where are you going, sweetheart?)

He was growing impatient. You were never to interrupt such a sexy atmosphere ever.

From one of your drawers in your vanity table, an important, half-opened envelope was hidden. You were supposed to give it tomorrow but now seemed like a perfect time. Reading it as soon one of the maids handed it to you gave you the jitters, but in a positive way. Sitting back down on the edge of your bed, you exhilaratingly passed it to your husband.

“Qu’est-ce que c’est?” (What is this?)

“Ouvre-le.” (Open it.)

Jaehyun slowly opened the edges and once he took out the contents. Reading it thoroughly, he couldn’t believe it as his jaw dropped, pacing from the letter and you back and forth.

“Vraiment, ma chérie?” (Really, my darling?)

It was from a doctor you visited in Paris a few days before you left, who confirmed just exactly what caused your health to go feeble suddenly. You already had one certain suspicion, which you addressed in your leave of absence letter. Amelié, who finally got the position as the head, couldn’t believe her ears and insisted you take all the time off you needed.

“On dirait que Adrien a reçu son cadeau d'anniversaire en avance.” (It looks like Adrien received his birthday gift early.)

Overall, it turned out the headaches and repeated vomiting you mistook as motion sickness from traveling was a surprise hello to your second child.

A girl specifically, thanks to the blood test she recommended.

“Je t’aime, (Y/N).”

“Montre moi combien tu m’aimes, Jaehyun.” (Show me how much you love me, Jaehyun.)

The whole night through, the two of you vigorously celebrated with the moonlight from the windows and a few scented candles set in the room. Wet kisses left on your collarbone, words of devotion exchanged, holding his hand as he groaned from heartily thrusting in you, the number of moans from your lips overlapped with the vinyl playing in the room. The intimacy between you two increased, almost as if you made love for the first time again all those years ago.

Excluding being drenched from the rain.

Once the two of you grew tired, Jaehyun lied down beside you. Wrapping one arm around, one hand trailed down your naked skin again. His wedding band flashed your eyes, reminding you of the commitment you promised each other. For better, and for worse.

Jaehyun promised to love you endlessly as a woman and his wife, and it didn’t cease when you became the mother of his children. He respected how strong you are, physically and mentally. He helped you in any way he could as you endured the struggling process.

At the end of the day, his family was his biggest priority. More than ever now, you needed him as you go through the pregnancy phases again. Specifically, his index finger lingered on your stomach. There was no bump or other signs of showing, except for that glow he complimented you earlier on.

“We met and fell in love over the summer, got married in summer, had Adrien mid-summer, and now found out about our daughter at the start of summer.” He smiled, blessed at all the good he’s received during this time.

“The summer gods must adore us.” Your vacant hand with your wedding band topped his. To love and to cherish. “Ils m'ont amené à toi.” (They brought me to you.)

His power on you was simply addicting, as if your early twenties revisited you. You straddled himself once again, your fingers caressing his face sweetly. When it reached his lips, he placed longing kisses there and pulled you closer again for another kiss on your lips. In between, you mumbled in a silvery tone,

“Then they led us to say I do. Pour toujours et à jamais.”

copyright © 2021 by alluringjae.

[aminiatureworld]

Enigmatic Feelings

Characters: Albedo, Diluc, Xiao, Zhongli, gn!reader

Word Count: 5,544

Warnings: None

Premise: Love is a potent force. And sometimes little things take on larger meanings, especially when one party is unaware of them.

In which the reader’s s/o is jealous

Author’s Note: This trope is 100% my guilty pleasure. I hope I did it justice.

I also realized while writing this that all these characters have the emotional understanding of a teaspoon, but they’re trying their best, so that’s what counts.

Albedo

Albedo was many things. A great alchemist, a man of secrets, a weapon with which one might someday bring destruction. He was even a lover, albeit an unpracticed one. But what he was not was emotional. Or so he thought.

Of course Albedo knew what jealousy was, knew the sort of stupidity that people could fall into when altogether too infatuated with their own love. But just because one knows what jealousy is does not mean one must fall prey to such things. Or so Albedo assumed.

It was the fourth day in a row that a knight had approached your door. Friedrich was his name, and he was doing a stellar job at capturing your attention, and pulling on emotions that Albedo had long told himself he didn’t contain.

Today the flower was a Windwheel Aster, swaying this way and that in the pocket of space between your two hands. You were smiling at it, or rather at Friedrich, brightly, fingers mere moments away from Friedrich as you went to claim the fourth flower this week. Though the was nothing necessarily untoward in Friedrich’s movements, and Albedo would much rather a person of integrity be attempting to woo you, even if the idea itself turned knots in his stomach; nevertheless it still left a bad taste in the alchemist’s mouth, and a worry in his heart that he was not so immune to jealousy as he’d previous assumed.

“Thank you!” You spoke to Friedrich, giving one last wave before walking back over to Albedo. “Albedo look! It’s a Windwheel Aster. It’s very nice of Friedrich to give me one, maybe I can use it, or maybe it’ll be helpful for your experiments?”

“Yes, thank you. I, I think you should keep it.”

As much as Albedo wanted to take the flower and throw it in the incinerator, he couldn’t bring himself to shatter the smile on your face. No matter how dearly it cost him to see you smile down once more at the delicate red petals. And no matter how much it haunted him the rest of the day to imagine you, face framed by a smile, a bouquet of a random knight’s making in your hands.

That knight as Albedo put away the Bunsen burners and the graduated cylinders he kept his mind preoccupied by thoughts of you. Surely he had to tell you his feelings, for if not they would keep building in his chest; building and building until one day he erupted, with you in the line of fire rather than the knight who was creating this whole dilemma, perhaps even unwittingly. Though Albedo had never been in a relationship before he knew stories. Weren’t books full of those kinds of moments? Men, women, people, all of them running over one another in their misunderstanding, in their overwhelming guilt.

No, he wouldn’t turn out like that, wouldn’t let the two of you be hurt in such a way. He had to tell you. Had to make you understand how much his chest constricted when he saw you carrying the gifts of others, had to let it be known before he lost control of these emotions. After all, wasn’t that what happened with emotions? They grow and grow and one day they spill over. And Albedo never wanted these emotions to spill over. No matter the cost.

“May I tell you something?”

The sunlight was streaming through the laboratory windows, the air warm enough that Sucrose had tied up her hair during her shift. And yet Albedo felt cold, oh so cold. He was going to tell you today. He hadn’t been able to tell you three days ago, nor two days ago, nor yesterday. And now the bouquet of flowers that occupied a tiny glass on the windowsill felt quite large indeed. Today would be day eight if Friedrich showed up at lunchtime, and before that Albedo would tell you.

“Of course you can Albedo, I’m all ears!”

You turned around, a soft smile once more spreading across your face. Putting down the pencil you’d been holding you leaned back against the lab table. Albedo took in a deep breath. He could do this. He would do this. He had to do this. No matter what, today. Today, he would do this.

“I-I’m jealous.” The words hung in the air for a moment, as if not understood.

“Jealous?” You tilted your head slightly, worry making your smile slip. “Albedo, jealous of what?”

“Of Friedrich, of you and Friedrich, or rather, I mean, of Friedrich giving you flowers.” Albedo paused, words tangling in his mouth, tripping on each other in an attempt to be understood. What if this was a mistake.

“Albedo,” you shook you head softly, walking over to cup your partner’s face, “I promise that there’s nothing in it. The flowers are lovely, of course, but nothing in this world could replace or stem my love for you. You have nothing to worry about.”

“I know,” Albedo replied hurriedly, worried still that he might be misunderstood, “I’m not trying to accuse you of anything, or say that I doubt you. My love, I will never doubt you. I just, I just feel so uncomfortable when he brings you flowers. It feels like, like I don’t know; it feels like I’m being poisoned, suddenly and all at once. And I don’t want it to affect the way I act towards you. So, so I wanted to tell you. You don’t have to stop, if those flowers make you happy then that’s what matters. But, but I just wanted to tell you.”

You said nothing, staring into Albedo’s eyes, gaze piercing through the alchemist. It was always that way with you. How you managed to destroy the control he thought he had, the wall he’d erected between himself and humanity. How you made him feel unsure and fallible and whole. And, just as before, now your gaze softened and you shook your head, your smile a balm for the raw unfamiliarity of putting together emotions.

“It’s okay Albedo, I’m glad you told me. Just like my emotions matter to you, I’d rather not see you unhappy. To be honest, I just never saw Friedrich’s actions in the way that he probably meant them. We all struggle with our feelings sometimes, I do just like you. Just as long as well tell each other, all will be well. Alright?”

“Yes. Thank you. I don’t know what I do without you.”

“Well you’ll never have to find out, so it doesn’t matter!”

There was no eighth flower that day, at least not one that was successfully given. Albedo supposed that he could pity Friedrich, but in reality he felt nothing but relief. The emotions that had left such a bad taste in his mouth seemed so far away now, for there was you, only you. It would only ever be you for him, and the days in which you said the same thing of him Albedo felt as if he could truly be happy, and truly acknowledge the emotions that swirled inside him, the love for you so great it spilled over into a vast ocean.

 Diluc

Diluc found most merchants loathsome, something perhaps not entirely fair considering his own status as a mover of goods.

Still, merchants in general were an unlikeable bunch. Prone to complacency and greed, this elite circle was comprised of people who thought of little than of ways to line their pockets anew. It disgusted Diluc and as he stood there, watching as a man who had enough jewelry on his body to weigh down a pack mule and a smile that made one want to run in the other direction, throw compliments and boasts your way, the winery owner was reminded about all that was wrong with the world in which he worked.

“So your goal is to attempt to find a route through which we might trade our wine in Inazuma?” You repeated the words the man had just spoken, expression skeptical. “As much as it would mean good business to begin another trade route, I believe the border restrictions will cause no little difficulty.”

“Restrictions such as those are nothing for a man like me.” The merchant smile once more and Diluc felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand straight up. “I have the ability to wave past such an issue. Indeed with the right price I believe I could expand your network to include all of the seven major lands, if you haven’t been trading internationally.”

“Thank you for your offer.” You replied, too focused on the work in front of you to notice the merchant’s roving sort of gaze. “I’ll see what Master Diluc has to say. However I warn you, as much as international exports are important for a growing trade, smuggling wine into locked countries will do little good. Especially considering what the damage could do to this winery’s reputation if such a thing was found out.”

“Don’t worry, I assure you my methods are completely secure. In fact, if you’d like to discuss it in more depth, I do believe that I may be able to enlighten you over a meal.”

“Perhaps, although Master Diluc would certainly have to be there.” You smiled slightly, and Diluc wondered for a moment if you were being purposefully oblivious or simply didn’t notice the meaning behind the merchant’s words.

“I will be back tomorrow, perhaps you’ll have an answer then?”

“I’m sure I will.” You replied, smiling as the two of you shook hands. As the merchant walked out of the winery your smile morphed into a sort of smirk and you looked up towards the balcony of the second floor.

“You can come out now Diluc, I know you’re there.”

Diluc couldn’t help but smile at those words, he truly couldn’t get anything past you. Hurrying down the stairs he swept you up in his arms, sighing slightly into your neck as you tightened the embrace.

“Ever so observant, my darling.”

“I know that you’d never let a transaction or a business conversation take place without your knowledge.” There was a playfulness to your voice, coming from the knowledge that you were utterly correct. “Still, you could’ve come downstairs you know. I don’t think that anyone would need to believe that you were going through your ‘very important paperwork, and lurking around is your night job.’”

“It seemed somehow wrong to suddenly appear in front of you two and derail the conversation.” Diluc drew away and placed a soft kiss on the tip of your nose, chuckling when you immediately wrinkled it. “Especially since you were doing so well on your own.”

“Oh he’s just like the rest of them,” you sighed, “altogether a bit too full of themselves.”

“Especially in this one’s case.” Diluc said, finally letting a scowl cross his face.

“What do you mean?”

The look on your face was one of innocence and confusion, and for a moment Diluc felt his thoughts stammer, as he realized that you truly were unaware of the way that the merchant was looking at you, unaware of the manner which caused Diluc even now to continue to press his hand gently against your lower back. If you didn’t notice it, then surely Diluc was overreacting, surely there was no reason for his heart to stutter and his stomach to drop. Surely there was no reason, and surely he shouldn’t tell you.

“Nothing at all, I just didn’t like his face.” He hurried now to reply, realizing how odd his pause must’ve seemed. “Will you be accepting his proposal for a business dinner?”

“I’m not sure. I suppose it couldn’t hurt. And then it might be a good venue for the two of you to talk. Since you find him especially ghastly, I think a more public meeting might be easier.”

“Perhaps, but I don’t think that invitation was meant for me.” Diluc replied, before realizing his gaffe and falling silent.

“What? What do you mean of course it’s meant for you. I mean you are the owner of the Winery. Who else would it be for?”

“For, for you my darling. Why else would he ask you in such a way?” Diluc tried to keep the acid out of his words. It wasn’t your fault after all. It wasn’t your fault that some louche was asking after you.

“But I’m not the one in charge.” You furrowed your brow. “I can’t make the final decision. And I won’t allow him to attempt to bypass getting your permission either.”

“My darling, I, I think he meant it a different way.”

“What way?”

Diluc sighed, capitulating quickly to his want to tell you. Even if it was perhaps selfish of him, he was never truly good at keeping his feelings masked away, at least in a way that didn’t result in him completely shutting down. And you meant to much to him than for Diluc to try and lie to you.

“You see, I think he was attempting to ask you on a more romantic sort of dinner.”

“What?”

Your reaction was immediate, your expression quickly turning into one of shock and then of disgust. Letting out a groan you buried your face into the front of Diluc’s coat, eliciting a short laugh from its owner.

“Why? I… I… Even if I weren’t in love with you I’d never go out to dinner with him.”

“I don’t think he would appreciate the sentiment.”

“Diluc.” You let out another groan, shaking your head as if to rid yourself of the thought. “Archons, ugh thank you for telling me. I, disgusting.”

Diluc said nothing, simply tightening the hold of his arms around you. Though your reaction was certainly justifiable he knew there was something more behind them, and he felt grateful for your consideration. Though he knew that would always have been your reaction, it didn’t stop the pressure that ha been building in his chest, the thoughts that screamed what if, what if, what if. What if there is something better than you.

“Hey, are you alright?” You voice drifted up through the fabric of Diluc coat. He smiled, relaxing his grasp around you and pressing a soft kiss to the crown of your head.

“I will be. May I hold you a little longer?”

“Of course. You’re the only one for me, you know.”

“And you for me. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

Those words, though so small, were somehow enough.

 Xiao

The new guest at the inn had been speaking to you for quite some time. That was Xiao’s first observation. The second was that you didn’t seem to mind. The third was that for some reason he suddenly felt incredibly irritated.

It was a beautiful evening, the kind that would’ve normally had you and Xiao sitting on the roof together, fingers entwined, the silence of nature cushioning the two of your from the outside world. It was a ritual, something that Xiao had come to rely on, had come to almost sanctify. Yet here he was, sitting on one of the thicker branches of the trees that dotted the outside of the Inn, trying desperately to quench the anger that bloomed in his chest as he watched you and the guest talk the minutes away.

Perhaps the worst part was that you didn’t seem to mind. Instead of pulling the conversation towards a close, you seemed perfectly content to keep talking, smiling brightly and quickly answering the questions of this uninvited guest. Normally Xiao didn’t care about , or rather didn’t keep track of, the people you spoke to. Of course you would have friends, would have people that mattered to you. Just because Xiao had disconnected himself from humanity didn’t mean that you had to. So why was he so angry?

His patience ran out when the guest reached for your hand. Sidling next to you as fast as he could Xiao peeled off his invisibility, enjoying the shock that registered across the uninvited guest’s face as he moved his hand back. Reaching to entwine his hand with yours Xiao shifted his gaze towards your face. Shock was painted into your expression, but there was also something else, a glimmer of happiness or of satisfaction. Somehow it unnerved Xiao, and he focused instead on the task at hand, whatever that task was.

“It’s getting late.”

“Oh, of course.” Turning back to the guest you smiled sheepishly. “I’m sorry to cut this short, but perhaps we’ll speak again some other time?”

“Gladly!” The man’s face lit up, before Xiao’s glaring left him scampering down the steps.

“Xiao, is something wrong?” The question was so genuine, without any sense of knowing more than you let. Unfortunately the question was also unanswerable.

“It’s late. We should go.” Xiao gestured towards the roof, hoping the reminder would flush the question out of your head.

“You’re right, I suppose it is getting late. And we wouldn’t want to waste such a wonderful evening.” You smiled. And yet somehow Xiao felt unplacated. He was happy, wasn’t he? So why, why did the question hang in the air, and why did the discontent remain?

The next day was a lazy one, as Xiao waited for you to be done with work. More than usual he missed you, and he wished that the hours would go faster, so he might be able to once more enjoy your presence, to banish the discontent that he still felt, evening after an hour spent wholly in your company.

Eventually the sun made its descent from the heavens, and Xiao pulled himself once more to the perch on the tree he’d taken the night before. Gazing down at the balcony he saw the familiar figure of the unwanted guest, and a stab of anger flashed through him. This was made all the worse by your entrance, and the fact you once more stopped to make time for this intruder.

The man was just as insufferable as before, full of jokes that Xiao didn’t understand and words that though praising of you felt somewhat hollow, almost insulting. You laughed along to these jokes, smiled at these odd compliments. And when the man asked if you might be willing to talk more over some sort of meal you merely smiled.

Xiao, however, found the whole ordeal unbearable. Why should this person be asking all these things, be prying you with words of intimacy and familiarity. Had he not arrived yesterday? Was he not an utter stranger? Confusion mixed with irritation in Xiao’s head, and he found it difficult to hold on to the stony reason he’d built up. What was going on? What was this terrible feeling of anger and want? He couldn’t understand human ways. Less could he understand why they should have any sort of effect on him.

Still he had to do something. Had to do anything. Swooping down once more Xiao began the same charade. This time, however, the man merely jumped, and for all his glaring Xiao couldn’t dislodge the guest from his place on the balcony.

“It’s late.”

“Ah it is. Are you hungry?” He asked, addressing you once more.

“I’m not at all, but Xiao’s right. It is late. If you haven’t eaten yet then perhaps you should. Smiley Yanxiao is quite strict about his rest.”

“Ah, then perhaps you’re right. Still, why not join me? You can tell me your name, and we can talk a little more about the things you do.”

“You don’t even know their name.” Xiao spat out the sentence, barely able to contain the odd sort of irritation that still spun around him. He asked you all those questions, said all those words of praise, all without knowing your name. It felt somehow dehumanizing, somehow… wrong.

“I would be glad to learn it.” The man smiled.

Xiao simply shook his head. He needed to leave. It was becoming too much again, and the last thing Xiao wanted was for a stranger to see him this way, see him unsure and confused and not a little frightened of these alien emotions. Glaring at the man one more time Xiao scooped you up. Ignoring the surprised shriek that you let out he shot up into the sky, moving towards the familiar sanctuary of Jueyen Karst, deeply grateful that the guest, whatever he could do, could never fly.

“Are you going to tell me what’s wrong?” You asked, barely giving Xiao the time to set you down onto one of Liyue’s sloping peaks before asking him the one question he couldn’t answer.

“Nothing.”

“Well it’s certainly not nothing. You’re being awfully rude to that guest, and I can’t understand why. Usually you don’t really care about those sorts of things. So something must be wrong, and I want to know what it is.”

A pause.

“Please.”

“I can’t.” It was all Xiao could say, the only thing that would truly encompass the truth, because in truth he couldn’t. He himself didn’t understand it.

“What do you mean you can’t?”

“My chest hurts.”

“What?” Immediately your face shifted into one of worry, and you placed a soft hand over Xiao’s heart. Somehow the gesture was calming, and Xiao closed his eyes, enjoying the receding of the hot bands that had just been restricting him.

“My chest hurt when I saw you with that, that guest. My chest hurt and I felt angry. That’s what’s wrong. My chest hurt, but now it doesn’t; and I don’t understand it.”

There was a pause, and Xiao studied the expressions on your face, watched as they shifted from worry to confusion to caution.

“Xiao, is it possible you were jealous?”

“No.” The idea was somehow insulting.

“It’s alright to be jealous Xiao. It just means you care about someone very much. You don’t have to just dismiss it like that. I want to make sure that you’re alright, so please be honest. Is it possible you were jealous?”

Xiao let another gap form in the conversation, trying to figure out how to answer. The suggestion felt demeaning, felt as if he somehow had no control over himself, no trust of you. And yet it somehow made sense, and even as he shook his head he found himself letting out a different answer.

“I don’t know.”

“It’s okay if you don’t. I know that new emotions can be frightening, can be difficult to deal with. But Xiao, I’ll always love you. It doesn’t matter who else I meet or what else happens in my life. I love you the way that a bird loves the sky. You’re a part of my life I could never lose. So even if this isn’t jealousy, even if I’m wrong, I still want to let you know. I love you.”

Xiao sighed, a smile finally gracing his lips, the pain in his chest finally melting away. What did he ever do to deserve such a person as you, he would never know. He wished he could repeat those words back to you word for word, wished that he could explain that his love for you was all encompassing, had seeped through the cracks of his existence and his life. He wished he could form together the words necessary to convey his love for you. Even if it was impossible he still wished it.

So instead he leaned over towards you. Letting out a gentle sigh he brought his lips to yours, reveling in the soft sensation of your mouth against his, reveling in the way you leaned against him, bringing you arm up to his neck, letting out a soft breath of contentment as the two of you disconnected.

You didn’t ask him anything else, and for the rest of the evening you two sat on the grass, watching the fireflies dance around you as you leaned against one another.

Perhaps Xiao didn’t yet understand the extent to which he loved you, the emotions that had now risen up, given life by the love you’d poured into the adeptus. Perhaps he didn’t understand this yet, but he knew that all would be well. For with you all that irritation seemed so far away, as if it belonged to a Xiao of yesterday. Because here and now you two were together, breathing in the same mutual contentment, the same mutual trust, the same mutual love. And that present was more important than any jealousy could be.

 Zhongli

Looking back on the matter Zhongli admitted that maybe pretending the problem didn’t exist was probably not the best solution.

It was only that you two had seemed so oddly content in talking, so, compatible, that Zhongli couldn’t help but feel a twinge of discontent, a tension that spread through his jaw and down to his stomach. He didn’t quite understand the nature of the emotion that now spread over him, but he did understand that it was connected to the bond that was now forming between you and the vendor in front of you.

“Dearest one.” He spoke softly, walking over to where you now stood.

“Oh, Zhongli!” Your face lit up as usual, and the ex-archon felt a piece of him uncoil. At least some things seemed to be unchanging, just as wonderful today as they had been the day before.

“I’ve been looking for you. I know you spoke of wanting to learn more about the nature of Cor Lapis, and the tea shop has been offering a new brew. Perhaps we could share a drink?”

“Oh that sounds lovely!” Turning around towards the vendor you smiled gently. “I’m sorry, I’ll have to try that lovely soup you were speaking of some other time.”

“Not at all!” The vendor’s smile was good natured, and Zhongli didn’t understand why he nevertheless felt a twinge of uncertainty. “I look forward to it. I hope you two have a nice day, and we’ll talk about it more later.”

Though the stall receded into the distance as the two of you turned the corner, Zhongli couldn’t help but let the moment run through his mind once more, finding it as sore to think about as a bruise might be to the touch.

“That vendor? Oh they’re new on the scene.” You smiled, taking a sip of tea.

The tea house was as calming as ever, the noises of the outside a distant song, and the hushed whispers inside adding to the intimate atmosphere. Zhongli normally loved to sit here, drinking cup after cup of tea, watching as the people came and went about their business, immersed in a small fragment of Liyue life. Now, however, he found he couldn’t stop thinking about the vendor. If he closed his eyes he could still remember their face, and the way yours was lit up while they were talking to you.

“Their name is Eli.” You continued on, oblivious to the way Zhongli’s hand tightened around his teacup. “They said that they set up shop maybe… two weeks ago? It hasn’t been a very long time, and they’re still struggling a bit. I hope that they’ll be able to get their business off the ground, who knew that street food was such a cutthroat world.”

“The city of Liyue is full of people who might make their way in the world, doing whatever they can. Perhaps it is unsurprising that competition is second nature to Liyue’s citizens.” Zhongli replied, hoping his tone wasn’t too curt. If it was you didn’t seem to mind, nodding softly in agreement.

“Speaking of Liyue and stories, perhaps you would like to tell me the story you were going to tell? I very much doubt that Cor Lapis is the blood of Morax.”

“How humans love to spin their stories.” Zhongli chuckled.

But even as he began to speak of jewels and pressure and the minerals that lay deep beneath the earth a bit of him was still preoccupied by the vendor’s easy words and your smiling face.

The next time he ran into you with the vendor the pit in his stomach had only gotten heavier. Standing a little ways away he let the conversation between the two of you flow in and out his ear, frown slipping deeper the more he heard.

“I cannot believe that your stall nearly caught fire on your first day! How unlucky.”

“Even worse that I didn’t know who to try and tell about it. If I had known you were part of the Guild then I would’ve asked you.”

“Well next time there are troubles you can just send a message to the Adventurer’s Guild. We can’t have our citizens being injured on our watch.”

“You sound like true heroes. I wish I could do the sorts of things you did. Your commissions sound fascinating! I would love to see how you go about your day some time.”

“Really it’s nothing, most days it’s quite boring really, just like any other job. Still, it’s nice to know that people have an interest in what we do.”

“Oh certainly! I find what you do very interest– ”

“My dearest one!” Zhongli called out, unable to continue listening to the conversation, feeling somewhat guilty and certainly upset. You turned slightly, smile brightening as you saw your partner.

“Zhongli! So sorry that I didn’t meet you outside your office, I must’ve lost track of the time. Eli here was telling me all about their first days at work.”

“I’m sorry that I got out late. I hope that you did not have to wait awhile.”

“Oh not at all Zhongli, like I said I’ve just been standing here. You don’t need to feel bad at all!”

“I’m glad. Perhaps now we can go?”

Zhongli attempted to smile, but it felt a lot more like a grimace. You stared at him, face the picture of confusion. Taking a step forward you glanced one more time at Eli, shrugging apologetically. Before any more words could be passed between the two of you Zhongli grabbed onto your hand. Walking quite quickly he didn’t let go until the two of you were at your apartment and he could finally breathe again.

“Zhongli, what’s the matter with you?” You asked, closing the apartment door behind you. Walking back towards Zhongli, who stood there silently, you let your hands rest lightly on his shoulders. “You can tell me you know, I can tell you’re unhappy.”

“I have a confession.” Zhongli started, feeling somehow compelled to reveal his thoughts, as if keeping them locked away would only be dangerous.

“Yes?”

“I, I did not like the way that the vendor spoke to you.”

“Eli? But they were perfectly nice.”

“I do not mean that they were rude. They were perfectly cordial. I mean, when the two of you were speaking, I, I felt uncomfortable. It was as if there was a barrier between us in that moment. I, I did not like it.”

“Oh Zhongli.” You breathed out, an indulgent smile on your face.

Reaching up you planted fleeting kisses on the archon’s face, peppering his cheeks and the bridge of his nose, touch featherlight. It was a familiar gesture, one of comfort, one used in darker nights, when shadows dotted the periphery of Zhongli’s vision.

“Zhongli, I assume you know what jealousy is?”

“I know the term and what it means. I admit I am not personally familiar with the concept.”

“Well I am, so let me tell you. What you experienced, that was jealousy, plain and simple. I know it’s very uncomfortable. Jealousy can be such a messy feeling, it sticks everywhere. But it’s also normal. So you don’t need to worry. I promise that nothing will happen, and I promise that these feelings would go away. I also promise that I love you very much, so even if you feel these emotions, you don’t have to worry.”

“How could I ever worry about you?” Zhongli murmured, wrapping his arms around you, basking in your proximity.

The apology only came in the evening, after words and kisses and love had hung long enough in the air to dull the feelings that Zhongli had been carrying around. Now he lay there next to you, chin resting gently on your head, suddenly realizing that he’d most likely acted quite rudely.

“I’m sorry I ignored Eli.”

“I’m sure they’ll understand.” You murmured. “Though I’m not actually sure what got you riled up about them.”

“You are also a bit oblivious dearest one,” Zhongli let out a soft laugh, “it seems they were quite taken with you.”

“Were they?” You asked, tone betraying your surprise. You paused for a moment, as if trying to replay your interactions. “I never noticed. To be honest, I don’t think I could ever notice, not when I have you.”

“Thank you.” Zhongli whispered, oddly overcome by the confession.

As he lay awake, carding gentle fingers through your hair and listening to the even breaths of your sleeping form he pondered just how lucky he was. Precious gems might come from pressure and earth and chance. But you were more precious than all of them. And he’d never forget that.

[mochegato]

The Night of the Consequences

Continuation of Well, Well, Well, If It Isn’t the Consequences of My Actions

“Ladybug!”

Ladybug’s eyes widened, recognizing the voice booming through the Watchtower halls without even having to turn around.  She eyed Chloe nervously.  Why did these things keep happening around the nosy blondes in her life?  She turned around with an overly wide smile.  “Oh… hi… um… M.… Wing,” she stuttered out.  

Son of a bitch!  She really should have prepared for this.  She knew it was coming.  Granted, she didn’t know it was coming today, but it had to be coming soon, they couldn’t afford to let just anyone go around knowing their identities.  If the family was really worried, they couldn’t afford to wait to talk to her about… well… her.  

Bee side eyed her with an incredulous stare.  “What the actual fu…” she started quietly.

“Is there something we can help you with?” Ladybug asked loudly, cutting off whatever rant Chloe was going to go on.

“Um well, first off,” he gave her an overly wide, supposedly charming grin, “you can call me Nightwing.  M. Wing is my… father.”  He cringed as he the last word came out.

Bee raised an eyebrow.  “I thought your father was M. Bat.”

Nightwing puckered his lips.  “Yeah… that’s… true.”  He shuffled awkwardly.

“If you’re going to use that line, you’re supposed to say we can call you Night, which I’m not going to do, by the way,” Bee said flippantly and starting to study where her nails would be if she didn’t have gloves on.  “Otherwise it really doesn’t work.”

“Bee!” Ladybug lightly chastised.  She turned to Night… Wing… Nightwing!  She wasn’t calling him Night either.  “Sorry about her.  I’d say she’s just tired, but that would be a lie.”  She ignored Bee’s scoff and continued.  “You said ‘first’, so I assume there’s a second?” she prompted.

“Right, right,” he nodded, finally seeming to settle a bit, his face becoming a bit more determined and the ‘charming’ smile returning.  “I wanted to ask you about someone.  She gave your name as a reference and I just wanted to see if it was someone we could trust.”

Bee leaned over to Ladybug’s ear.  “Why does he keep smiling like that?” she asked in a normal volume.  She shivered dramatically.  “Creepy.”

Ladybug pursed her lips to stop the noise that wanted to escape, some kind of a combination of frustrated whimper and raucous laugh.  “Okay,” Ladybug smiled tightly, focusing entirely on Nightwing. “Who was it?”

“Yeah, a name would be useful here, Smile Boy” Bee added in.  “Or we could just give our opinion on everyone we know, along with a fashion critique.  We can start with your costume history.”

“Bee, didn’t you have something else to do?  Right now?” Ladybug’s voice was sharper than an obsidian edge.  This was her boyfriend’s… future boyfriend’s?... love interest’s?  Yes, love interest’s brother.  She did not need to piss him off while he was asking her as a ‘reliable source’ about her.

“Nope,” Bee smirked back.

Ladybug groaned and turned to Nightwing.  She nodded off to the side.  “Should we…”

Nightwing nodded and followed her over.  “Ugh, whatever.  I didn’t want to hear anyway,” Bee grumbled and walked to get coffee.

“So, the woman I’m asking about is Marinette Dupain-Cheng.  You may have come across her in Paris?” Nightwing prompted.

Ladybug nodded.  “I have yeah. She’s actually…”  She bit her lip.  She really should have planned this better.  How much should she tell him?  Clearly she wasn’t going to say it was her, but maybe she could say she was a part time hero?  Or maybe she could just say they trusted her.  The point was whether she could be trusted with their identities so maybe exposing her identity, one of them anyway, wasn’t the best idea.  Maybe just that she knew their identities and had never told anyone?  That should work, right?  She just had to…

“It’s just,” Nightwing spoke up misinterpreting her silence, “my brother has kind of fallen for her.”  He watched her face carefully when he said it to see if there was any indication of what she thought of the idea.

Ladybug’s eyes bugged out.  That was not the approach she had been expecting.  She thought he’d focus more on the identity aspect more than the personal aspect.  Not to mention ‘fallen’?  That was… they’d only just met.  She knew he liked her but fallen was pretty strong.  Did Jason really feel that way toward her or was Dick… Nightwing just exaggerating?  And she didn’t even think Jason had told him they were seeing each other, let alone how he felt about her!  She looked up and met his expectant eyes.  Oh right, he was waiting on her to respond.  But how did she respond to that?  “Oh?”  Very eloquent.  Her eloquence was clearly not improving around the bats.

His face scrunched as he studied her reaction.  It was definitely odd.  “Yeah. It’s kind of bizarre really.  Not to say anything bad about Marinette,” he rushed to assure her.  “I don’t know her well enough to judge her, obviously.  That’s why I’m here asking you about her.  But he’s really taken with her really quickly.  I’ve never seen him like this.”  He suddenly stopped and his eyes blew wide.  “Oh God!  Don’t tell her that.  Jason’ll kill me if he finds out.”

“Oh… um…” she looked away suddenly trying to hide her sudden blush and searched for a way to answer.

“Oh my god, y… Dupain-Cheng bagged another hero?” Bee exclaimed slapping Ladybug on the shoulder with her elbow and handing her one of the cups in her hands.

“Bee!” Ladybug exclaimed.  “I thought you didn’t care!  What are you doing here?”

“This is the thanks I get after bringing you tea?” she scoffed in pretend offence.

Ladybug rolled her eyes and let out a long suffering sigh.  “This is just water.”  She brought the cup to her lips.  “Not even hot water!  You brought me a cup of tepid water.”

“Oh my God, can’t you just be grateful I thought about bringing you tea?” Bee exclaimed, exasperation clear in her tone.

Ladybug gave her a deadpan expression.  “Did you though?”

“No, not really,” she shrugged.  “Let’s get back to Dupain-Cheng somehow managing to entice yet another hero though,” she continued, malicious glee sparkling in her eyes.

Ladybug’s mouth dropped in offense.  “She does not date a lot of heroes,” she rushed to assure Nightwing. “Only the one, really…”  She paused and looked at who she was talking to and her eyes widened in realization.  “… not that there’s anything wrong with dating a lot of superheroes… if that’s… um… what you want to do,” she finished weakly.

Bee snickered at the flustered cover-up.  “Yeah, she’s not like some heroes that date everyone they shake hands with.”

Nightwing gave an offended scoff.  “I have not dated that many people… or heroes.”

Bee scoffed.  “Maybe not that are officially sanctioned by the JL.”

“We didn’t say that you did,” Ladybug promised, “did we Bee?” she hissed at Bee through gritted teeth.  “And even if you had, there’s nothing wrong with that.  Right, Bee?  Because there’s nothing wrong with dating around.  Is there?”

“No,” Bee groused.  She crossed her arms over her chest and pouted for a moment before the pout became a vicious grin.  “Yeah, sure, we can stop talking about his dating history.  So, anyway, back to Dupain-Cheng…”

“Oh fu… I can’t believe I walked right into that,” Ladybug grumbled into her hands.

“It may be just the one she actually dated.  The rest just have wet dreams about her.”  She smirked at her.

“Bee!” Ladybug exclaimed her cheeks rapidly turning a dark scarlet.

“Relax, I know you and Dupain-Cheng have a… unique relationship, but that doesn’t change facts.  And pretending like she isn’t getting lusty looks from other people doesn’t change it either.”  Bee rolled her eyes and took a sip of her coffee.  The cup wasn’t nearly big enough to hide her widening smirk.  “You’re just going to have to suck it up.”

Nightwing perked up at that comment.  Well, that was an interesting tidbit.  “So you must know Marinette very well considering you know her dating history so well.”

Ladybug nodded while still glaring at Bee.  “Yes.  You could say that.  We know each other rather well.”

“Extremely well,” Bee agreed, her grin getting even sharper.  “I’ve known her since we were children but Ladybug still knows her much more intimately than I do.  Why don’t you tell him about her?”

“And I would trust her,” Ladybug continued over Bee.  “I have trusted her with a lot, both in and out of the suit.”

Bee cackled at the answer “Yeah LB do tell.  Go on about her amazing attributes.  Tell us all about her.”

“Bee,” Ladybug whined, her cheeks heating up.  Nightwing observed the interaction with a raised eyebrow.

“Come on, he’s going to think you don’t like Dupain-Cheng,” Bee teased.

“What! No!”  Ladybug straightened quickly, her eyes going wide.  “I do!  I like Dup… Marinette,” she glared quickly at Bee before she whipped back to face Nightwing with wide eyes.  “She’s great! She’s ama… She’s…” she faltered.  This was so awkward.  If she and Jason ended up getting serious, Nightwing was eventually going to know who she was and remember what she said here and if she overplayed it, he’d think she was pompous and hate her.  Then his whole family would hate her and Jason would break up with her because his family would convince him she was a terrible influence.

But! But if she wasn’t complimentary enough he’d think she didn’t like… herself and that she wasn’t trustworthy. Then he would convince Jason that it was a mistake to be with her and he’d break up with her because he’d trust his family’s word over hers and think she wasn’t a good person and deserved to be miserable.  She looked back up at Nightwing with a sigh.  “She’s a good person.  She deserves to be happy.”

Nightwing stared into her eyes for a few moments as if trying to read a part of her soul.  Finally, his eyes softened to a more sympathetic glint.  “I was worried about her knowing our identities but I’m mostly worried about him.  He’s been through a lot and he can be pretty hot and cold because of it and I just…”

Ladybug’s eyes softened too.  She looked down for a moment trying to figure out how to word her response.  “She’s… Marinette’s pretty understanding.  She’s had to deal with that before and it didn’t work then but… I don’t think that was on her…”  She pursed her lips and looked down while the memories washed over her. When she looked back up there was a bittersweet look in her eyes.  “She fights for the people she loves.  She puts effort in.  If you’re asking if I would trust her with an identity, I have before and she’s never let me down.  If you’re asking me if I would trust her with your brother’s heart, I would.  Whether it works out with him or not, she’ll still be there for him.  She’ll do everything in her power to protect it.  If you trust me, you can trust her.”

Nightwing reached out and squeezed her shoulder.  “Thank you.  This has been very helpful.  I’m sorry if I brought up any bad memories.”

Ladybug shook her head.  “No, it’s fine.  I hope I made you feel less worried about her.”

Nightwing nodded.  “You did. Thanks again.”

“You’re welcome,” Bee interjected loudly.  “Even though you didn’t ask me my opinion.”

“Sorry.  I hadn’t been given your name as a reference,” Nightwing said with only the tiniest touch of condescension.  

“I grew up with her,” Bee scoffed.  “And even though you didn’t ask, I’ll tell you my opinion anyway.”

“Bee…” Ladybug started, but her voice was tired.

“I don’t know who your brother is, but whoever he is…”  Ladybug sighed deeply and dropped her head.  “…he isn’t good enough for her.”  Ladybug’s head snapped up and her jaw dropped.

“Are you… are you admitting you like m… Marinette?”  Ladybug gaped.

“Relax, I’m not like hitting on her or anything.  I’m just...  Shut up.” She crossed her arms over her chest and looked away with a pout.  After a few seconds she looked back at Ladybug from the corner of her eye and rolled her eyes.  “Close your mouth, LB.  There probably aren’t flies here to fly in, but Beast Boy could always be transformed as a fly for whatever ridiculous reason and if you swallow him we can’t go on our date.”  

“You’re dating Beast Boy?  When did that happen?” Ladybug exclaimed.

Bee grabbed Ladybug’s arm and tugged her back in the direction they had been heading originally.  “I was trying to tell you before we were so rudely interrupted.”

Nightwing watched them walk away with a smile and a small wave.  That was a lot to take in, but at least now he knew she was trustworthy.

<><><><><> 

Marinette had just gotten home and immediately collapsed into her bed after an extremely long and wearing day when he heard an incessant pounding at the door that wouldn't stop.  “What the hell,” she groaned.  She pushed herself off the bed with a great deal of effort and shuffled to the front door. “Somebody better be about to die,” she grumbled to herself, “or someone’s going to be.”  She looked through the peep hole to see a frantic looking Jason. 

She whipped open the door for him.  “Jason! Are you okay?”  She reached to check him over to assure herself he was okay.

Jason stared at her for just a second.  “Dick just… He said… You slept with Ladybug!  She’s the one you dated?” he yelled.

Marinette blinked at him a few times trying to take in what he just said.  “What!?”

Continued in Truth so Cold

Tags:

@jasonette-july-event @maribatserver @ashbrea381writings

[redhoodieone]

You’re so Lucky!

A/N: Hey y’all! Here’s another sexy story that was a request from the amazing @jasontoddslut! Enjoy my peeps!

Warnings: Language, Bad Relationship with Ex-Boyfriend, Smut, Voyeurism, and Jason’s Goddamn Dirty Mouth!!!!!

It was bound to happen. She couldn’t deny this was going to happen sooner rather than later. If she believed they that they could get through their issues and be happy like they once were, then she’s a real fucking idiot.

Gabi still couldn’t believe it though. One minute she was trying to calm Bobby down and the next, he’s screaming at her and telling her to get the fuck out of his apartment. He was in a bad mood to begin with. He’s a mechanic and he’s always tired when he gets home. He was expecting dinner to be ready and maybe have his loving girlfriend of three years rub his back since his shoulder pain is getting worse.

But no. Gabi made the mistake of asking Bobby where he was tonight as soon as he got home.

What set him off was her telling him to calm down. She should have known though.

You should NEVER. EVER. Tell an easily angry guy to calm down.

Because that’s like telling fire to not burn people. Or telling a baby to not cry.

She should have known better though. It’s no surprise Bobby’s into some serious shady shit that the low life Gothamites meet up sometimes at night in casinos or nightclubs. She knows they do illegal shit like selling drugs, ordering weapons from other countries, and maybe even kidnapping young women and children.

And Bobby had participated in the ordering weapons category.

How Gabi found out is another story: she knows for damn sure that Bobby once brought home fifteen state of the art total militia AK-47 guns. Bobby had foolishly asked Gabi to go get some important documents from his huge safe; totally forgetting the weapons were in there about five months prior.

Why would a normal mechanic need such weapons?

Gabi had decided to never bring it up. Bobby would either deny or lie about it. His temper had been getting worse right about then and she knew better.

But he wasn’t always like this. Oh, no. Bobby was a funny, laid back, and loving type who worshipped the ground Gabi walked on before they even started dating. But after two years of living with each other, things changed.

Simple as that. Things changed.

Gabi always wondered how things could just...change. So easily. The fact that it could happen in the blink of an eye frightens her sometimes.

Just like Bobby’s hidden anger. She never knew a hilarious and sweet guy could have the rage of a bull.

Bobby never hit her though. He always made sure to slam his fist against the wall beside her head, though. He was the type to yell and belittle Gabi as if she was a little girl.

But she wasn’t a little girl. She was a 23-year-old woman who moved in with her boyfriend so fast that she began to understand why her parents and friends disapproved of her choices and relationship.

I just had to learn the hard way, Gabi thought to herself.

She doesn’t know why she’s trying to think of sayings that relate to this experience. The point is, Gabi knows she seriously fucked. With Bobby only giving her ten minutes to pack whatever truly mattered to her, she had to hurry the fuck up.

The moment she made it outside the apartment building, all Gabi could do is replay her questions that she asked Bobby.

Where were you tonight?

Were you with someone?

What did you do?

Why can’t you tell me what you did?

Are you hiding something from me?

Are you getting into dangerous things?

No wonder Bobby kicked her out. Gabi should have never put her nose in his business. And now, she’s practically homeless. She knows it would be embarrassing as hell to go back to her parents’ house because of what they told her before getting involved with Bobby. She also knows her friends would treat her horribly, with the “I told you so” stares and lectures. Gabi was certainly running out of options just as the rain began to fall.

There was one person she could go to, who would never turn her away.

However, Gabi hasn’t spoken to this person in about a year because of her relationship with Bobby as well as this person’s own relationship with their significant other.

But Gabi knew Y/N was a good person, a good friend. She was a sweet person, with a big warm heart and she would never turn her away.

With nowhere else to go, Gabi walked alone in the rain all the way down to high class side of Gotham.

By the time Gabi gets to the high-class penthouses, she has to call Y/N to let her inside. Of course, Y/N excitedly tells her to come up, and Gabi immediately starts to feel somehow relieved that Y/N hasn’t changed at all.

As Gabi finally makes it to the correct floor, she sees Y/N waiting by the door, where Gabi assumes is where Y/N lives. Y/N is wearing a red and black flannel pajama pants and a thin black tank top. Gabi also notices Y/N’s barefoot, and her hair’s in a messy bun.

She must have just woken up. I’m so sorry, Y/N, Gabi thinks to herself.

But none of that matters when Y/N meets Gabi halfway in the hall where they collide in a tight, warm-hearted embrace.  Y/N smells like a woodsy, musky cologne, most likely from whoever she’s seeing with now. Maybe they were snuggling up against with each other until Gabi had called and asked if she could come over.

“Come inside. You must be freezing!” Y/N says, releasing Gabi from her hug and pulling her arm towards the front door.

Gabi follows on shaky legs, completely overwhelmed by seeing her longtime best friend. Y/N giggles and leads Gabi inside the penthouse. Gabi instantly is hit by the aroma of vanilla and musk, the smell of intimacy and seduction.  Her eyes take in the red and black walls and décor, some exquisite art pieces, and the big space that is more comfortable and warmer than most homes she’s ever seen.

“Welcome, mi casa es tu casa! Seriously Gabi, babe, make yourself at home. There’s absolutely no rush to leave. You leave when you’re ready, okay?” Y/N says seriously.

“Are you absolutely sure? I really don’t want to impose or put you and your boyfriend out,” Gabi confesses.

Y/N leads Gabi to the long, cherry red couch that is facing a huge flat screen TV. Gabi sets down her duffle bag and takes a seat next to Y/N on the couch.

“Don’t be ridiculous! Jay and I insist you stay here until you figure out what you want to do, okay?” Y/N says, before she turns around to get comfortable to face Gabi.

A vanilla candle is lit on the coffee table. Gabi’s cheeks flush in embarrassment. “I didn’t...interrupt something, did I?”

“Oh, no, you didn’t! I was just setting the mood in the living room to be more...comfy,” Y/N admits, with a chuckle. “Jason just got home a few minutes ago and is taking a shower. He should be done by now.”

As if on cue, they hear someone walking down the hall and towards the living room. He stops near the couch. There in all his glory, well half-naked glory, stands Jason Todd, God’s greatest creation of man...at least that’s what both girls were thinking.

“Gabi, this is Jason, my boyfriend,” Y/N proudly introduces Jason to Gabi. “Jay, this is Gabi, my best friend in the whole wide world.”

Still dripping wet and fresh out of the shower, Jason at least has a white towel wrapped around his waist; hiding his goods that Gabi wanted to see so desperately. He’s really tall, must be 6’2 or something close to that. She takes note that Jason is all man: there’s absolutely nothing that screams “boy”. Gabi inhales hard when she watches his large hand run through his soaked dark hair. The other hand holds the towel tightly around his hips.

“Hi,” Jason smirks at Gabi. She notices his eyes are green, almost like emeralds. He smiles at her, even his white teeth are perfect. “So, you’re Gabi. Y/N’s told me a lot about you.”

“She-she has?” Gabi chokes out. Why is it so hot in here? Why can’t she speak?

Her eyes zero in on the droplets of water running down his strong as fuck built chiseled chest and perfectly sculpted abs that she really wants to lick and bite his skin.

Holy fuck...

Gabi scolds herself for thinking such inappropriate thoughts about her best friend’s boyfriend. Even though Gabi’s never fantasized Bobby this kind of way, she realizes Y/N’s lucked out. Bobby wasn’t in shape or even remotely attractive like Jason.

“Of course, she has. You’re one of her best friends, and I’m happy to finally meet you. I would go over there to shake your hand and properly greet you, but I’m uh...not exactly dressed yet,” Jason chuckles, and almost seems shy now. “I’m gonna go get dressed real quick so we can talk.”

You don’t have to. You can stay the way you are. You can even drop the towel, Gabi thinks improperly.

Y/N smiles softly at Jason as they watch him leave. True to his word, Jason returned in a pair of black sweatpants and a white t-shirt and took a seat next to Y/N. Throughout their comfortable and pleasant conversation, Gabi truly sees the way Jason cares about her best friend. Midway through their talk about what happened to Bobby, Jason clearly was paying attention and rubbed caressed Y/N’s thigh when Gabi recounted the latest scary fight with Bobby. Whenever Y/N looked shocked or worried, Jason made sure to calm her down through touches, forehead kisses, and whispers words along the lines of love, probably.

It almost makes Gabi jealous. Y/N’s life is clearly so much better than what Gabi had going on for herself. Jason seems like the perfect gentleman; always does and says the right thing. Gabi’s never seen a man pay so much attention to a woman before. Not only did he offer Gabi his advice and opinions on getting a better and more affordable apartment on their street, but Jason even voiced his hatred for Bobby, and even went on to criticize the man for treating women so poorly. He even made a joke about finding the man and breaking his legs; making Gabi and Y/N laugh their asses off and making the energy around them fun again.

But for some reason, Gabi couldn’t help but notice that Jason wasn’t laughing as hard as she and Y/N were. It almost seemed like Jason was serious about breaking Bobby’s legs, but Jason wouldn’t do that. She was sure of it.

He wouldn’t, would he?

By the time midnight came, the three of them stood up and decided to go to bed. Jason even surprised Gabi by giving her a hug and telling her that she can stay in their guest bedroom for however long as she wants and needs.

“I’m serious, kid. Don’t even worry about it. You mean so much to Y/N, and so therefore, you mean a lot to me, too,” Jason had said as he pulled back from their hug.

Gabi was speechless to say the least. She didn’t want the hug to end. He felt so good in her arms and he smelled so fucking good.

But it was bedtime now, and once Y/N and Jason had shown Gabi the guest bedroom, they went off to bed to let Gabi get comfortable. It wasn’t long for Gabi to quickly clean herself up and put on some plain pajama shorts with a tank top. As soon as she turned off the light, she was amazed by how big and comfortable the bed was. She figured it must be new and is probably the first person to sleep in here. In just a few minutes, exhaustion took over and Gabi fell into a deep sleep.

Her throat was dry. That’s what awoke Gabi at two in the morning and made her climb out of bed and go search for a bottle of water. She made sure to tiptoe out of the room and walk slowly and quietly to the kitchen.

As soon as Gabi made it to the end of the hallway, she stops dead in her tracks when she hears moaning. A woman moaning.

Her mind registers that it’s Y/N moaning. But why is she moaning in the living room?

Curiosity forces Gabi to peek out into the living room and see what’s going on, despite the logical part in her mind is screaming at her to have some respect for her best friend and her boyfriend.

But being a pervert outweighs being a prude.

Gabi is utterly shocked to her core when she sees her best friend straddling Jason’s lap. On the red couch where they sat a couple of hours ago, Gabi sees Y/N and Jason making out heavily. She couldn’t unsee it; she wants to keep watching them.

Gabi even sees the vanilla candle is lit again, after Jason had blown it out before they all went to bed.

But all Gabi could see is Jason’s fingertips digging hard into Y/N’s exposed flesh from where her tank top is pushed up above her bare tits. Y/N shamelessly moans in between the evident delicious kisses, and grinds against Jason’s apparent bulge.

Gabi quickly notices an isolated leather recliner that’s against the wall near the hallway. She throws herself down, sinks into the chair and watches the practically live porno show in front of her.

Jason pulls back from the deep kiss, revealing his red, swollen lips from where Y/N’s been biting and sucking since the beginning. He rests his head back against the couch and looks up with hazy, lustful eyes as Y/N grins down at him. She bites her bottom lip and pulls up her tank top, removing her top completely from her body.  

“Fuck...what the hell are you doing to me, sweetheart?” Jason asks breathlessly. He runs his hands up Y/N’s back and moves them to her front where he reaches for both her tits.

“I’m slowly...and softly killing you,” Y/N says, closing her eyes and moans when Jason gently grabs both her tits in his hands; her breasts fill his hands perfectly.

“I’d say...” he says, before sighing contently when switches from pinching her nipples to squeezing her tits before he sits up straighter and pulls Y/N’s body closer to lick and suck her sensitive nipples.

“Oh, fuck...oh Jay...feels so good,” Y/N moans louder than before. She whimpers and continues to rub herself against him. “I need to cum...please make me cum, Jay...”

Jason pulls back from her chest and gazes into Y/N’s eyes. “You wanna cum, doll? Do you want me to make you cum?”

“Yes, please...I need you so bad!”

“No, I don’t think you need to cum,” Jason teases, before he pulls off his own t-shirt. “Now, I’m going to take off the rest of your clothes, but if you touch your pussy, I ain’t going to fuck you.”

“What the fuck is that supposed to mean?!” Y/N snaps. Her cheeks are flushed from being aroused.

Jason smirks at Y/N’s frustration.

“You know exactly what I’m talking about, sweetheart. I’m going to check how wet you are,” Jason explains, as he raises Y/N off his lap to pull down her pajama pants and panties; leaving her completely bare on his lap. “If you’re soaking wet, then I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you’ll be feeling me for days. But if I have to make you wet, then that means I get to do whatever I want to this pussy.”

“But-”

Jason runs his hand up Y/N’s thigh until his fingers glide over her bare pussy. His fingers gently push inside her, he can feel the wetness, but wants to see it for himself.

“Stand up and put your pussy in my face,” he demands.

“What?”

“I want to taste your delicious pussy right now. Don’t make me get up and literally put you on my shoulders to eat you out,” Jason threatens.

Y/N slowly moves to stand up carefully on the couch. Her legs are shaking, but Jason quickly grabs her to hold her steady. He doesn’t waste any time, and he dives into her pussy as if he’s a starving man.

“Oh fuck!” Y/N cries out.

Jason’s tongue on her clit is what she wants the most right now. He squeezes her thigh and flicks his tongue side to side until Y/N fears she’s either going to fall back or fall over him.

Y/N notices one of Jason’s pull up bars is above her. How convenient.

She grabs a hold of the bar to hold herself up just as he decides to slip a finger inside her. Holding herself up allows him to remove a hand from her thigh. He takes the opportunity to slip another finger inside and pumps them in and out fast.

Y/N’s body trembles when Jason curls his fingers and strokes the sensitive wall that he’s mastered so well. He can tell she’s close. She must have been excited earlier when they planned to stay in last minute. He manages to look up at her and he can see she’s barely holding on.

“You’re so close aren’t you, babe? You taste so fucking good that I want you to cum on my face. I want you to be my dirty girl tonight,” Jason says as he finger-fucks her harder and faster than before. “Are you going to be my dirty girl tonight?

“Yes! Fuck yes! Just-just make me cum, please!” Y/N cries out desperately, needing the push that Jason could only give her.

“You are my dirty girl. You love it when I make you cum with just my fingers and mouth. But I bet you want my cock right after, huh?” Jason asks, chuckling darkly when Y/N’s eyes roll back when he speeds up his fingers inside her. “You wanna ride me, don’t you?”

“Yes-yes I do...” she’s panting now.

“Okay, I want you to cum in my face and then quickly get on my lap and ride me. Fast, slow, hard, whatever, you pick. I just want to feel your warm, tight pussy around my dick, okay?” Jason says, quickly shoving his sweatpants and boxers down to his feet. “Fuck...give me your pretty, tasty pussy, sweetheart!”

And then Jason finally gives in. He pulls both her thighs to bring her pussy to his face. Y/N whimpers when he licks all around her wetness, and he hums in approval when he feels her hand stroking his scalp and pulling his hair, while she continues holding herself up with only one hand now.

The vibration from his humming helps her reach her release. He continues to thrust his fingers inside her and sucks her clit until she gushes in his face.

Y/N manages to silent most of her orgasm, but it didn’t help when Jason continued to lick and suck at her clit to swallow most of her juices. Once her body relaxes, she lets go of the pull up bar and drops down to the couch. Y/N quickly straddles Jason’s lap until her pussy is hovering above his hard cock.

“Spit on my cock, doll. Get it nice and wet,” Jason says, as he watches Y/N spit in her hand and stroke his thick cock until he’s nice and ready for her. “How are you going to ride me, sweetheart?”

Y/N slowly looks up into Jason’s dilated, misty eyes. “Deep. Hard. And fast,” she says.

Jason swallows hard but is able to quickly smirk up at Y/N before she takes full control. “Then ride me, sweetheart. Fuck yourself on my cock like the dirty girl you really are.”

Y/N finally lowers herself onto Jason’s cock, all logic and common sense flies out the window. Whenever his cock was deep inside her, they both tend to lose themselves and the world around them. Because whenever they were connected emotionally and physically in their bubble, nothing else fucking matters in the world.

When Jason fills her up completely, they both release a content sigh. They usually take their time in the beginning, mostly because of their fears whenever Jason leaves to work as Red Hood. But since they’re both so horny and want to cum sooner, they’ll have to just take their time during round two.

“Fuck me, sweetheart. Fuck yourself silly on my dick,” Jason moans, but he and Y/N laugh at the “silly” part, when he realizes that’s not very sexy.

But Y/N understands and slowly lifts herself up his lap until just the tip of Jason’s cock is inside her. She keeps a steady pace, lifting herself and lowering herself, until their rhythm flows. Within seconds, Jason helps her by holding her hips tightly and thrusting his hips in time with hers.

“Your cock is so big inside me, Jay. You fill me up so good,” Y/N moans and rides him a little faster; wanting the head of his cock to rub hard and relentlessly against her g-spot. She guides one of his hands off her waist to move towards her pussy, encouraging him to rub her clit. “I wanna cum again, Jay.”

“Yeah? You like ridin’ my big cock, you dirty girl? You want me to fill your pussy with my cum?” Jason asks, watching Y/N’s tits bounce while she rides his cock faster than before. He can’t help himself, he uses a free hand to pinch her nipple and leans in to bite and suck her breasts, until he puts his hand back to her hip to guide her thrusts. “You want me to fill you up with my cum?”

“Yes! Yes, please!” Y/N begs.

“Okay, my dirty girl. I’ll give you what you want.”

Well, Jason knows now that this is going to end fast, but he refuses to let it end without Y/N cumming hard again. He squeezes her hip with one hand and the other hand rubs her clit fast in messy circles. He begins to pull her down to meet his thrusts, fucking her harder and faster with everything he’s got. The squelching sound from his cock fucking up into her wet pussy becomes more noticeable, especially when their skin-on-skin slapping gets louder and harsher that echoes in the living room.

“Fuck...Y/N, you’re getting so tight. You feel so fucking good baby,” Jason pants hard, completely sweating and keeping his fast and erratic pace to get them to their releases. “Fuckin’ cum on my big cock, sweetheart. I wanna feel you cum so bad. Please cum for me, again.”

Y/N keeps her eyes on Jason just as her orgasm hits her hard; she squeezes and gushes around his cock, she calls out his name. Jason thrusts harder in her three more times, as he finally cums hard inside Y/N, calls out her name as quietly as he could. Y/N collapses against Jason’s chest, despite being hot and sweaty, but he doesn’t mind. He wraps both arms around her and holds her while they regain their breaths and can function normal again.

Y/N doesn’t see the loving smile Jason gives her as he kisses her forehead. “I love you,” he whispers, and hugs her tighter.

She looks up at him and smiles. “I love you, too.”

Before Y/N can lie her head against Jason’s chest again, she notices Gabi sitting and watching them. Y/N jumps up and covers her breasts with her arms, causing Jason to jump in panic and turn around to see what’s going on.

“Gabi! What-what the hell are you doing there?!” Y/N cries out in embarrassment. She can feel her cheeks are getting red again.

Gabi slowly gets up from the chair and makes her wave into the kitchen. She finds bottled water in the refrigerator, takes one, and goes back into the living room where Jason and Y/N are still frozen in fear.

“I-I was thirsty,” Gabi answers, even though she knows it sounds like a lame answer. She walks backwards until she reaches the hall. “And-and then I saw you guys, and then I couldn’t stop watching. I’m sorry, Y/N...Jason...”

But before Gabi leaves, she points a finger at Jason and smiles. She even chuckles. “But-but in my defense...he’s really sexy! He’s fucking gorgeous, Y/N, and you’re one lucky bitch! You’re so lucky!”

But Gabi is right about that.

Y/N is lucky...because she has Jason.