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#that told me i need to use more paragraph breaks when i write
haechannabelle · 1 year
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new years post featuring me getting sentimental and also shoutouts to my mutuals (and the girl reading this) 🎊🎉🎆
i started this blog back in august or september (time is fake, i don’t know anymore), and i feel so hashtag blessed to already have so many cool and fun mutuals to tag in a post, so i am making a post ! this is that post <3 so special shoutout to the following people:
@neonarcher @bangzchan @shuatm @pinkhaech @atinystraykid @seunieverse @kimsmingyu @kdongyoung @jsuh @ambivartence @felixyongboks @appiarian @8junhao @seuiqi @chxrry-chris @uwu-fullsun @sohnuts | even if we've never interacted i appreciate all of you so much that i decided to ring in my new years by writing this post !
ok quick 2022 highlights while i'm here (cue bgm seventeen - highlight, alt iz*one highlight. two bangers, either one will do):
2022 was actually the best mental health year i've had in like, over 10 years (we still got a loooooong way to go, but like. maybe i'm actually on the way up which is cool ??). i also ummm got into kpop in late july 2022 and my life has literally changed so much since (for the better, i feel). i saw nct-127 live in october and i cried the entire time, and i uhhhh got engaged (???!?!?!!) in november which is crazy (literally cannot believe another person wants to spend their life with me,, as a person who is generally very bad at receiving love that is SO wild to me but it is also literally forcing me to accept love and i am therefore getting better at doing that ! does that make sense ? i'm not fully with it rn, this is the latest i've stayed up in awhile lmao. anyways it's been a good year. i went to new york city and my fiancé and i spent entirely too much money on kpop stuff. we went to the beach also. and successfully held down the same job for a whole calendar year (never happened before). good year.
i want to do more art next year. i used to do art every day (literally for almost my whole life up until this past summer). i've had a massive creative block for months, i feel like i can only consume media and not create it and that has really sucked. but, i did make something recently !! something i will post very soon...spoiler it is a photo edit that i got a lil more creative with and i'm reeeally happy with it ! which is why i'm scared to post it LOL but i'm gonna do it. i'm gonna be brave !!
yeah, i think i will try and be brave in the new year. be brave and make art. vague enough to work.
also, i probably listened to 1,500+ different kpop songs in just the second half of 2022, that's crazy. can you imagine how much more kpop i can listen to if i apply myself this year ??? i am literally never bored anymore, thanks to kpop. and i have a lot of fun posting on this blog, so thank you to anyone reading this for being part of it ily happiest new year to you specifically <33
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httpsserene · 6 months
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hey can I request something that’s angsty to fluff and then smut for Oscar where reader gets a ton of hate for dating Oscar so she kind of ghosts him for a bit and they figure things out
𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐢 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐰/𝐨𝐩𝟖𝟏
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📖𝘀𝘂𝗺𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘆: oscar really just wants to hear you laugh again. 📖𝗰𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴: 18+ only. angst. fluff. happy ending. reader is exhausted physically and mentally. reader's internal monologue is not not nice. bad eating habits. bad sleeping habit. self-deprecation. don't worry she's back on her bs at the end. reader neglects herself (?) and her relationship. implied self-sabotage. people are mean. don't worry oscar is meaner. oscar piastri is a good boyfriend. emotional hurt/comfort. tenderness. intimacy. baths and pampering. crying (non-sexy). implied sex. implied bath sex. logan and lando as plot devices. no beta we die like my will to live during finals. 📖𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱 𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁: 5.1k words. 📖𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴: oscar piastri x fem!reader 📖𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲: oneshot w/ blurbs. 📖𝘀𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗰𝗸: best i ever had • drake
𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗳𝗮𝗰𝗲: sorry it took me so long, i've changed this fic like multiple times :/ hope it fulfills you request properly :))) this is not my favorite thing in the world, i feel like if i went on a smaller scale i would've enjoyed this more but what can you do. this is also not very black reader coded? idk but feel like it's lacking there. i also apologize for my inability to write an oscar fic without including lando, he's such a willing plot device though even if he's a little ooc. i also couldn't find the mental space to write smut but there's smth for you at the end. dedicated to us women in stem! i hope you have fun reading this because i didn't have fun writing it :)
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oscar is worried. you haven’t responded to his texts for a week, he hasn’t seen your face for two weeks, and he hasn’t heard your voice for three weeks. four weeks ago, you told him you wouldn’t be able to fly out to see him at the austin grand prix, like you promised. you sounded exhausted and incredibly guilty when you explained that your course load this semester is extreme, and finals are rapidly approaching. oscar understood; he won’t ask you to sacrifice your education for one of his races, there will be plenty you can come to in the future. what he doesn’t understand is how you’re still functioning. it’s your senior year of university at an american ivy league school, you're pursuing an engineering degree, and you’re also working nearly five days a week as a barista. oscar thinks the last time he’s seen you relaxed is before your fall semester started, you spent your entire summer break with him, making appearances at the only three races you’ve been to this season (silverstone, hungary, and spa). the last time he recalls seeing your smile and hearing your laugh is in august—it’s the end of october now. 
you’ve been ghosting him. oscar wants to believe that it’s unintentional, that it’s just a side effect of the amount of work and pressure on your shoulders—but he can’t accept that. if you were unintentionally missing his calls, facetimes, and texts, you’d spam respond to all of them with a voice message or paragraphs of texts before you went to bed or class. you would send him daily or weekly recap videos of how life is treating you, like you used to do. you would send him stupid videos of you messing around on your shifts during a pause of customers. you would send him thirty reels a day on instagram of brain dead shenanigans with little captions of how you reacted, or if you thought it would make him smile. you would send him fit checks every morning before you went to class, even though your outfit consists of a hoodie and sweatpants. you would send him tiktok edits of himself and tell him that he needs to stop being ‘so hot’ because you almost barked in the middle of class. you would ask him how he’s doing, you would respond to his texts the minute you could even if it's hours late, you would leave him voicemails if he doesn’t pick up, you would make an attempt to communicate. 
except, you haven’t. so, he knows that you ignoring him is intentional, and that your lifestyle right now makes it easier for you to disguise your avoidance of him as accidental. 
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you didn’t say ‘i love you’ back. 
“mate, what are you frowning for?” oscar jumps, eyes flying up from the phone screen and meeting lando’s. the brit is staring at him in confusion, the two of them are still in their race suits, tied around their waists. the sprint race ended an hour ago, and they’ve just finished celebrating oscar’s win.
“you’ve won a race, oscar—what could possibly make you sad after that?” lando says teasingly. but, the smile on his face is quick to fade as he must see oscar’s dejected mood.
the australian debates his next move for a moment, before deciding that telling lando isn’t a bad idea; they’ve been getting closer—they’re friends, oscar would say. he sighs, and hands his phone to lando, maybe he’ll tell oscar he’s worrying over nothing.
“oh,” lando says, eyes widening, “i’m sorry, mate.”
oscar brushes off lando’s words, and buries his face in his hands, “she’s pulling away from me. that was five days ago, and she hasn’t answered any of my calls. she’s only responded to my texts since then with one word answers or very dryly. she’s ghosting me.”
oscar feels lando fumbling for words, not needing to look at him to know that the older man has no idea how to go about reassuring oscar.
“look, mate, if it were me i’d go see her anyways.”
oscar huffs, “she literally said she doesn’t have time.”
“oscar,” lando stares at him in disbelief, “she hasn’t seen you in two months. i guarantee she’s probably dying to see you again, fuck whatever time she doesn’t have. she also can’t ghost you, if you see her face to face. you should go and try to fix whatever’s wrong, before you let her slip away.”
“maybe…maybe she’s just burnt out,” oscar suggests shakily, “i’ll go see her after the triple header–i’m probably just overreacting about this. she’ll be back to her usual self in time.”
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oscar is enraged. he’s pissed off at his fans for attacking you in a sick twist of ‘defending him,’ ‘protecting him’ and the supposed ‘ownership’ they think they have over him. he’s pissed off at you deciding to ghost him instead of confiding in him about the hate you receive. he’s pissed off that his flight to you has been delayed for four hours. he’s pissed off at his race in brazil, if you can even call what happened a race. he’s pissed off at the fact that you can’t make time to see him before vegas. he’s pissed off that you lied to him about picking up extra shifts at the cafe.
he stalked through your instagram the minute after he was allowed to escape debrief, hunting down your roomates accounts from where you’ve tagged them in an older post. he innocently made a group message to the two girls, figuring it would be kind and proper to inform them of his impending arrival to surprise you. and the two girls you shared an apartment with responded eagerly to his message telling him that you’ve been extremely stressed and almost depressed this semester, and that hopefully his appearance will break through to you in a way they are unable to. oscar asked them if they knew your work schedule for the week, since you never told him when you're working–and learned that you lied. you didn’t accept any extra shifts, matter of fact, you got all of your shifts covered for the next two weeks. apparently, all you have been doing is going to class, working, studying furiously, and crying. when he asks if there’s any reason besides the stress from work and school that has you crying, the girls decline to speak for you, and strongly suggest that he asks you himself when he arrives. 
oscar’s no longer pissed at you for lying to him or for ghosting him–he’s hurt, but, he already understands your motive. you don’t want to worry him, so you bottle it up and distance yourself to not make him aware of how you're struggling. he won’t let you carry the weight of the world on your shoulders alone anymore, he’s going to see you and he’s going to take care of you, and then he’ll sort out the ignorant people on the internet.
when he’s at your apartment, you’ll be coming home from your last shift before your time off. and then, once he has you in his arms, he can make everything right again.
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your hands are shaking; a result from the mix of stress and exhaustion that has been plaguing you for a few weeks. it takes you four and a half attempts to unlock the front door to your apartment—this is an improvement, yesterday it took you six times. a trembling sigh of relief exits your lungs as you shut the front door, triple checking that you lock the door properly. you remove all of your outerwear and slip out of your shoes, half-heartedly making an attempt to neatly place them in the organizer you have by the door. (you fail to register how there’s only two pairs of shoes stored away; yours and a pair of shoes that look too big to be one of the girls you live with—the usual sneakers the girls wear are nowhere to be seen.) you grunt as you tenderly put on your backpack and slowly make your way into the kitchen, off-handedly murmuring a “hi,” in the direction of the living room since you can hear the tv playing, but you don’t even spare a glance to see which roommate it is—you can’t stomach anymore human interaction today.
your walk is more of a waddle; your legs and feet are sore from working nine-hour shifts five days in a row, and also from going to class four out of those five days. you place your backpack on the small island, and continue to gently meander towards the fridge. your stomach aches at the thought of food—which is unfortunate, considering you’ve only had one meal today. regardless, you will shove a sandwich down your throat, you need the energy if you’re going to study for three hours before you go to bed. 
you pause before you open the fridge, a note is stuck on the door with a magnet. your roommates are gone; the two girls have spontaneously decided to go spend the weekend with their boyfriends—you’re not going to complain, you have the apartment to yourself. a brief wave of loneliness washes over you, you were kind of looking forward to venting about the week you had to the girls in the morning, and also, couldn’t they have texted you this earlier today? who leaves old-fashioned notes on the fridge anymore? you pull out your phone to send a text in your group chat wishing them a nice weekend, and see that they did, in fact, text you that they would be gone—three days ago. and, you never responded, because you never saw it. you shrug, and send the text anyways, you’ve been incredibly busy and you’re bound to miss a few texts (especially the eighteen texts from oscar that remain unopened). 
you're just going through a little bit of a slump, and you’ve had a bad day. you accidentally messed up three orders today (out of the hundred you fulfilled, so three isn’t really terrible), your running off of four hours of sleep (you’re more energized when you sleep less, anyways), and a customer accidentally bumped into you as you were walking to bring coffee to a table, causing the hot liquid to spill and burn a little spot on the back of your hand by your thumb. well, you know it wasn’t purely accidental, as the girl giggled to the group of friends she was with after she “bumped” into you. based on the way she was wearing a mclaren hoodie, you can make several guesses as to why she did it—you’re kind of shocked that she noticed you even though you wear a mask at work (you have for about a month, too many fans have noticed who you are), her hate for a relationship that’s not hers should be studied for science. 
incidents like these have made your coworkers start to…dislike you. the decrease in tips when you’re assigned to the register causes you to be forced to be hidden behind coffee machines the entire shift, only making drinks the entire nine hours you’re there. it’s better for you though, at least you can have a physical barrier blocking the prying eyes you feel are judging you the entire time. if anything, the recent atmosphere at work made you want to put in your two weeks—but, you have bills to pay. you’re just glad you managed to find a way to get two weeks off so you can focus on school and prepare for your exams—you can’t afford to fail, it’ll cost your scholarship and then you’ll need more than the job you have right now to finish school.
the buzzing of your phone pulls you back to the present—oscar’s calling. you squeeze your eyes shut for a few seconds, before you blink and silence the ringer. if you speak to him, you won’t be able to hide your troubles from him any longer; he reads you as easily as a kid’s picture book. he definitely doesn’t need to deal with your problems after whatever the hell happened in brazil. the noise of your phone startled you into a new thought, however. if the girls aren’t in the apartment, why the fuck is the tv on? who did you greet when you walked past the main room without a glance?
“i was calling to tell you that i’ve got takeout from the asian restaurant you like, if you’re looking for something to eat,” oscar says gently.
it’s a testament to how extremely exhausted you are: you don’t scream, you don’t fight, you don’t run—you just flinch slightly, and turn around slowly to face your boyfriend…the man you’ve been avoiding for nearly a month. at the sight of him (his fluffy hair, his soft sweater, the confused and concerned glint in his eyes) your lip starts quivering, and your eyes start watering. oscar’s gaze softens into something sweet yet empathic, and he says, “i know it’s been a while since we’ve last talked, but i didn’t think you’d cry at the sight of me.”
you burst into tears with a sob, and in a second oscar’s got you wrapped up in his arms, one hand soothingly massaging your back, while the other cradles your head on his shoulder. your borderline hyperventilating, your tears have started to soak his sweater, and you’re sniffling every two seconds to avoid getting snot on him too. oscar doesn’t try to quiet your tears, he doesn’t ask about what’s making you cry, he doesn’t even try to tell you that everything will be fine—he just holds you as you cry it out and presses kisses into your hair. eventually, the flow of tears dries and you focus on pulling in shaky breaths of air to calm down. oscar switches to holding you to his chest with one arm while he uses the free one to reach across the counter and grab a tissue. wordlessly, he wipes the wetness off your cheeks and under-eyes, he even uses another tissue to wipe your nose, clearing away the snot that managed to escape. you almost start crying again at the tender treatment and the matching look in his eyes, but you muster enough strength to keep the happy tears from falling over the waterline. 
oscar nods once, deeming his cleanup complete, and clears his throat, “i’m going to heat up the food. then, we’ll eat and you’ll tell me what’s wrong and if that has anything to do with why you’re ignoring me.”
there’s no attempt from you to keep the façade up any longer, all you do is nod and step to the side so he can grab the food from the fridge.
oscar has already cleared his plate and you’re still picking through half of yours. the two of you are sitting on opposite ends of the couch, teen wolf is playing on a low volume, and your eyes are tunneled on the screen even though oscar can see that you’re not paying attention at all. one of the characters is screaming about having to get his arm cut off (stiles, probably) and suddenly you start talking to oscar.
“it’s been a shit semester. if i wasn’t graduating in spring, i honestly think i would’ve dropped out or taken a gap-year. and, i knew what i signed up for as an engineering major, and i knew that working was only going to add more on my plate—but, it’s not like i can quit my job, i have bills to pay. so, juggling school and work is difficult, and i was managing fine. but, i guess i made the mistake of scrolling through twitter—which is truly my fault i think—and everyone on the internet was calling me a ‘terrible girlfriend’,” oscar watches you scoff out a choked laugh, “and, i obviously didn’t believe i was. in the beginning, at least. i mean, it’s like they expected me to be at every race by your side, like i’m not working my way through a hellscape of a degree. i watched every practice session, qualifying, and race—they’re literally the only hours i don’t spend studying or working. i brag about you to everybody who would listen, i missed hours of sleep just to speak to you on the phone for five minutes, i work as hard as i can so i can finish this degree early so i can be with you as early as possible, and they say that you deserve a better girlfriend.”
you pause and rub at your eyes furiously, mouth opening and closing as you take time to find the words to continue. oscar quiets the flare of anger at your distress, and stays silent, not wanting to interrupt your speech, this is the most you’ve said to him in a month.
“the thing is: i-i i let their words get to me. i think it’s because i was being kicked while i was down—or whatever the phrase is. i was already mentally exhausted, and i already believe that i’m not doing my best this year, i’m disappointing everybody who knows me, i’m a shit student—and just seeing everybody agree, even though they’re just randoms on the internet, tore me down. i even deleted all of the apps off my phone,” your voice has shifted into something desperate, “so i couldn’t see what they were saying about me anymore, but it’s like once i saw it, it never left my mind. i feel like everybody is staring at me with condescending eyes, like they all think i’m terrible. and, logically, i know that’s probably not true. but, this semester has pushed me past the point of being able to rationalize properly. so as a result, i have become a ‘terrible girlfriend’ to you; like a twisted self-fulfilling prophecy.
“i avoid your calls, i leave you on delivered for days, i respond with one word, i lie to my friends and say i was up all night talking to you on the phone when i was really crying and studying at the same time, i hold back from bursting into tears in the middle of my shifts when one of your ‘fangirls’ spills their drink over me for the third time. and while doing all of this, i was hoping you’d do the hard part and just break up with me,” your voice rings out sharply and you refuse to look at your boyfriend, afraid to see the look on his face.
“because…” you whimper slightly, tongue flicking out to lick at your lips anxiously, “you do deserve a better girlfriend.”
oscar is lost for words at your conclusion; seeing you, one of the strongest women he knows break down, is a sight he never imagined. a sense of guilt builds within him, knowing that he’s added to the deprecating thoughts in your brain by postponing this intervention for weeks. you may think that he deserves someone better, but he hasn’t been the best to you either recently. if oscar was half the man you think he is, he would’ve never allowed you to avoid him in the first place. oscar stands up, collects your plate and his, and places them on the coffee table. he turns and drops to his knees in front of you, resting his hands on your thighs, and squeezes them gently to grab your attention. it takes a minute, but eventually you allow your eyes to fall to meet his, and oscar breaks further at the lack of light in your eyes.
“i think,” oscar starts quietly, “that you expect me to break up with you and leave—am i guessing correctly?”
you blink down at him and shrug, biting your lip to prevent it from quivering.
“i also think, that if i flew all this way to see you, and that if i listened to your heartbreaking recollection of how this semester and how the world has been incredibly unkind to you, and that if i sat here and still broke up you—it’s not me that deserves a better girlfriend; it’s you that deserves a better boyfriend.”
stunned, you stumble over your disagreement, but oscar steadfastly continues.
“you did the right thing by deleting your socials—and that would explain why all three hundred of the reels i’ve sent you have gone unseen,” he laughs lightly, “and even if their words took root, you prevented yourself from being able to see more of it every time you used your phone; so even if my pride is not needed, i am proud of you for doing that. i’m even more proud that you sat here and told me that you aren’t doing well, that you didn’t make an attempt to lie, and that i didn’t have to force you to tell me,” oscar says seriously, holding steady eye contact with you to make sure you're hearing him.
“i wish that you would have mentioned the hate you’re receiving as soon as it started, and that you would have told me your mental health was suffering too. you know i do everything in my power to avoid reading anything with my name in it unless it’s a credible article—so imagine my surprise, when i learned about what people were saying about you through a twitter thread logan, of all people texted me about,” you snort out a laugh at the feigned disdain in oscar’s voice when he mentions the american driver. 
“you know i have no issues embarrassing people on the internet for their incorrect claims—and i’d especially tear them to shreds for trying to drag you down. we’ve been together too long for you not to come to me about things like this, even if it’s something that mildly upsets you—i want to know, because then i can make it better, or i can at least try to. you haven’t complained to me about the grueling lifestyle once, as i worked my way up to f1; if anybody could be perfect, it would be you. so, let me try to be as perfect as you, and support you properly and thoroughly as you finish up this degree, baby.
“we’re soulmates, aren’t we?” it’s a question, but oscar states it like a fact, “and i know i can’t magically make the self-loathing disappear with one conversation, but i'll tell you that you’re the best girlfriend i’ve ever had countless times, until you believe me unquestionably.”
oscar watches your nose scrunch cutely as you sniffle, unable to stop the tears that leak from the corners of your eyes. sweetly, he catches them with his thumb before they fall. he stands up and tugs you to your feet, pulling you into a tight, warm hug. 
“i love you, kanga,” oscar coos as he kisses your forehead.
“i love you the most, roo,” you answer back, leaning up to press a kiss to the corner of his lips.
“i’ve bought some lavender epsom salt and an embarrassing amount of bath bombs. will you let me take care of you tonight?” oscar asks quietly.
he sees the mix of awed-disbelief and confusion as you stare up at him, like you can’t imagine why he’d want to love you tenderly tonight, and that hurts him more—the words of his ‘fans’ online have done enough damage to cause you to doubt him. maybe he can convince you to come to vegas with him so he can keep you close, but first, he needs to focus on caring for you here and now.
oscar grabs his duffle bag and smiles as you hold his hand to lead him to your room and the attached bathroom (rent is ridiculously expensive, but at least you don’t have to share a bathroom with your roommates.) oscar sends you to grab pajamas while he starts filling the tub, epsom salt already poured in. he fiddles with the temperature for a while before it’s set to the boiling-your-skin-off hot you enjoy. by the time you join him in the bathroom, he’s added the salts and soap in the water and has placed the bath bombs out for you to choose one. oscar can’t help the small smile that rises to his face at the sight of the serious furrow of your brow as you pick out your favorite from the bunch. 
oscar hums as you hand him the jade-infused bath bomb, and asks, “can i wash your hair too? or will it mess up your schedule?”
“i actually really need to wash it,” you murmur with a humorless chuckle, “i’ve been so busy that i haven’t been taking care of my hair properly.”
oscar blinks and continues non-judgmentally, “i’ll give you an extra scalp massage to make up for that—you can start getting undressed now, the water’s nearly ready.”
he turns around awkwardly, he’s seen you naked before but he feels like it would be slightly perverse to watch you while you’re clearly in a more sensitive state tonight. he fumbles with the faucet for a few seconds before turning it off, and drops the bath bomb into the water so it can start dispersing. oscar faces you again carefully making sure he avoids staring at your body and locks eyes with you, he beckons you forward with an outstretched hand and holds your hand as you submerge yourself in the water. once you’re settled comfortably, oscar grabs your hair products (he holds up any bottle he thinks you may not want to use tonight, and you give him a thumbs up or down to decide), and then kneels at your side.
he starts to roll up the sleeves of the hoodie but your hand halts his motions, the water splashing loudly at the quickness of your movement, “you’re not getting in with me?”
“uh,” oscar stutters, “i-i wasn’t planning on it. i just wanted to give you a nice bath.”
oscar pinkens as you stare at him wordlessly and when your unimpressed gaze shifts to a slight glare, he finds himself shedding his clothes and sinking in behind you at an impressive speed. 
his heart began to race as the two of you shifted into as comfortable of a position you could achieve in a too-small tub, but calmed at your pleased hum as you settled between his legs with your back resting on his chest. this may be the most romantic experience oscar has ever indulged in. sure, it’s not a candlelit dinner at an obnoxiously expensive restaurant but, it’s him detangling your hair, it’s him massaging shampoo into your crown, it’s him scratching softly along your scalp as the deep conditioner sits, it’s you playing with the water innocently, it’s you whispering every detail of your life that he’s missed out on, it’s you gently directing him through braiding your hair, and it’s him pressing kisses to your shoulder when he finishes. there isn’t a single moment where the two of you become unsettled during lapses of silence; the intimacy of his actions is loud enough to fill the gaps. oscar can’t imagine ever being this comfortable with anybody besides you, he hates that he almost allowed you to pull completely away from him. moments like these, where you allow yourself to be thoughtlessly vulnerable with him, are exactly why he’s completely enamored with you.
your body has loosened against him, muscles syrupy and lax from the effects of a toe-curling scalp massage, and oscar gently guides you to sit upright while steadying most of your weight with a single hand splayed against your abdomen. the sound of the cap of your body wash clicking open startles you into the present, and you shift around to straddle his lap. it’s amusing; he inaudibly chuckles at the sight of you struggling to complete your change of position without sending water over the edge. you make a triumphant noise when you’ve managed to turn around to face him, and oscar’s hands cradle your hips when you rest on his lap. 
“can i–”
“shouldn’t you–”
oscar bursts into laughter and you into giggles, at the interruption of each other's sentences. it’s definitely not that funny, but oscar’s heart skips a beat at the sound of your laugh–he hasn’t heard that sweet noise in what feels like forever. he motions for you to speak, ever the gentleman, and eagerly awaits for our question with a smile still stretched across his lips.
“shouldn’t you fuck me before we wash up? so we don’t have to clean up twice?”
oscar chokes on his breath, his grip on you tightening in surprise, and he babbles, “what? no-i mean, yes, i mean—wait. i didn’t do all of this just to have sex with you, you know that right? i genuinely just wanted to pamper you–”
“oscar,” you cut him off, intentionally this time around, “after the semester i’ve had, and the less than kind words i’ve heard and thoughts i’ve had describing myself–i really do appreciate the bath, i feel reminded that you love me. however, i really think that having sex would help…solidify your devotion for me.”
oscar blinks up at you, he wasn’t quite expecting you to return to your normal sassy behavior as quickly as you did. but, he is thankful that you’ve opened up to him with no further hesitation–it’s actually incredibly attractive of you, how you’ve resumed complete comfortability in expressing exactly what you want to him. at least, that’s the excuse he’s telling himself to cope with being half-hard already.
“...at least let me take you to bed, then?”
“no,” you whine down at him, your hips sneakily twitching forward, oscar moans lightly at the light grind, “too far! saves time later if we don’t have to come back to shower.”
“you’re right,” oscar hums distractedly, moving his right hand off your waist to slip between your thighs and brush along your cunt, “i’ll fuck you here as long as you let me do all of the work.”
oscar’s blood heats at the sound of your whimpering moan and he takes his other hand off your waist to grab at your chin and he pulls you down for a kiss.
oscar groans when you pause before your lips touch his, and he feels the breath of your giggle ghost over his mouth, “mmm, i’ll never say no to that—and, didn’t i agree to let you take care of me tonight?” 
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taglist: @saintslewis @cherry2stems @lorarri @inloveallthetime @mindless-rock @biancathecool @barnestatic @my-ylenia @katekipshidze @darleneslane @lovingaphroditesworld @smoothopz
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© httpsserene2023
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toskarin · 3 months
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how did you get started making music, tools-wise?
I've talked about this a bit before and I don't necessarily recommend doing this, so skip the following two paragraphs and go right to the one under the break if you actually want the method I recommend
I lied to a girl I liked from my school and told her that, because I could play guitar I could also play piano, so I could teach her to play piano. both of these statements were lies.
I had to panic and learn both guitar and piano one week ahead of the lessons I was giving her as an excuse to hang out. so I self-taught in a haze of panic and "maybe she'll like me" (she did not) (but she kind of did) (but she was bicurious) (but she was wishy-washy on if she wanted to get together and her parents didn't like me) (and her parents were homophobic) (I think she might have texted me at one point years down the line to tell me she had a girlfriend but it was after I deleted our text history and I'm chronically unable to remember to put people's names into my contacts so who knows)
but that's all an aside. that's a bad method.
anyway if you want to start making music in earnest, doing what I did when I got serious about making songs instead of trying to impress girls whose parents wanted to destroy me with their minds here's a better answer
go acquire FL Studio. it's apparently really easy to do this because people have been acquiring it for years, or so I've heard. FL is good for learning because you've got 20 years worth of free tutorials available to you on youtube to dig through and plenty of stock vsts to play with out of the box
FL Studio is, realistically, the only tool you actually need to start making music. you could get away with less, but it's what I used, and as long as you don't pick up Specific Bad Habits, your experience with it will transfer to other DAWs if you decide to switch it later
that's all, really
if you go this route, the golden rule I'm going to impart on you right now is that you need to have a limiter on your songs. the default FL studio song templates have one, so you should keep it until you know enough to know why you might adjust something like that
it doesn't matter if it sounds fine in the editor without a limiter. everyone thinks it's not a big deal at the time, but as you get more experienced, there's literally nothing short of getting in legal trouble that you'll regret more than realising that your old work is almost entirely unsalvageable because you didn't put a limiter on it and now half of the audio is just lost data to clipping
I'm gonna put a few more recommendations for things I've used, just so you can consider them if you need something else to chew on. everything past this point is entirely optional and you'll do just fine with FL Studio alone. in fact, probably don't worry about everything below the line
-=-
items marked with [F] are free.
DIGITAL AUDIO WORKSTATIONS THAT AREN'T FL
for tracker-based editing and chiptunes, use Renoise. you'll either love or hate trackers, and while they have a steeper learning curve than piano roll DAWs, they might come more naturally to you. I personally think that Renoise is a lot of fun to use. it kinda has an "addictive" quality to it, as funny as that is to say
for quickly sketching songs, use [F]Jummbox. it's an html workstation (multiplatform!) that writes your sketches to a url, meaning it's pretty easy to collaborate on musical sketches. Jummbox is good for making chiptune style instrumentals, but what makes it especially accessible is the fact that it works on a piano roll system, which will be familiar to you if you're working in FL
for writing sheet music, I recommend starting with [F]Musescore. I'll warn you right now that there aren't really any good notation editors and you're making lesser-of-evils decisions when you pick any of them, but it's probably the best compromise out there right now. it's the one I use when I need to hand something to a physical musician. you can also export pieces as midi, although there's better ways to do that lol
-
VSTs
if you can acquire Pianoteq, do that. if you feel uncomfortable with acquiring it, [F]Keyzone Classic is free and can sound pretty nice with a bit of work, but you really have to learn to work with it
if your workstation can handle it performance-wise, go pick up [F]Vital - Spectral Warping Wavetable Synth. there's tons of free presets for this out there and it sounds good. cool synth. Serum: Advanced Wavetable Synthesizer is also good and has plenty of presets, but it's on the pricy side, so consider how comfortable you are with [finding a friend to buy it for you]
[F]Decent Sampler doesn't do much out of the box, because it's just a tool for playing sample banks, but if you go to [F]Pianobook, you can find tons of weird and fun sample packs of just about everything you can imagine. sounds derived from folk instruments, industrial equipment, lego sets, stylophones, choirs, whatever. incredibly useful.
Valhalla VintageVerb. this is the reverb plugin. you want this one. [F]Valhalla Super Massive is also good but it's more focused on alien-sounding reverb effects and enormous spaces, so it's kind of got a niche use case and you should be a little careful with it
if you've heard a lo-fi hip hop song on youtube, it probably used [F]iZotope Vinyl. this one can save you a lot of time if you're going for that sound because it comes with all the little vinyl flourishes outside of compression (like dust crackling) that you'd otherwise have to add yourself
[F]Genny VST is advertised as giving a genesis/megadrive sound, but what actually makes it shine is that it's an actual synth emulating the YM2612 and SN76489 sound chips. this means you can create your own sounds that work within those specs, which is a lot of fun! definitely beats just using samples, if you ask me
-
HARSH VSTS THAT I PERSONALLY LIKE BUT WHICH ALSO MIGHT !!HURT!! YOU. SO BE VERY CAREFUL USING THESE.
[F]Tritik Krush is a bitcrushing plugin. it does a good job of bitcrushing and downsampling. I use it a lot in my songs, but you've really gotta know how to keep this one under control, because it's fully capable of making painful sounds on accident and can completely devour your mix
[F]FSA Latcher is a gorgeous noisebox. it screams in horrible ways and makes dying machine noises in various colours. this is the musical equivalent of working with radioactive material, so be extremely careful using this in anything you don't want to hurt the listener's ears
girlfriend just told me I have to recommend [F]Noise Engineering Ruina to you if I'm making a category with this heading. I don't personally use it, but she likes it (she's better at music than I am) and it's free, so you should go pick it up. "it annihilates sounds very deliciously" (maybe I should use it)
-
hope that helps a bit!
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toxicpineapple · 7 months
Text
writing tips masterpost
hello to my loyal tumblr followers... i am often asked to give writing advice but usually when people ask me this i'm nooooot completely sure what to say despite having a ton of advice to give. it's such a broad question when there are so many different things i can advise on, right? so i thought i'd make a sort of writing advice masterpost where i can compile the tips that i think people specifically in fandoms could benefit the most from hearing, OR that i wish someone had told me when i was still finding my footing as a writer.
hopefully this will be helpful to you. i am putting all of the advice under a read more since this is going to be a long one. let's roll!
✬ paragraph breaks are your friend
the fastest way to get me to stop reading a fic is if i click in and see that there are NO paragraphs made and the entire piece is in a huge block of text. no matter how good your work is, i just can't read it at that point. the giant paragraph makes me get lost, i can't focus on anything... it's a huge no.
the trick is you want your paragraphs to sort of act as a guide for your reader, taking them through the story, keeping them engaged. do not be afraid to do short paragraphs! i can understand wanting to shy away from one or two sentence paragraphs for fear of not having "enough substance" in your work, but the truth is, a thousand short paragraphs is ten times easier to read than a huge block of text.
realistically, you want to have a good amount of variety in your paragraph length. variety is key. readers will notice when your work gets formulaic, and some people will like that, but for others that can turn people away from your work. but don't force it! a paragraph should end at the end of a statement, or if the paragraph is getting too long then cut off the thought and continue in the next paragraph with a transitional phrase.
as a general rule of thumb, you want lines of dialogue by different speakers to be put in separate paragraphs. you also want to avoid doing huge chunks of narration or exposition in the same paragraph as you introduce a new speaker. just make a new paragraph! no big deal. i guarantee you your reader will be way more engaged and nobody is going to come at you for doing more rather than less.
✬ make sure the reader knows who is speaking and when
you don't have to end off every line of dialogue with "she said" and in fact i would really recommend you don't. but you ALWAYS need to have some kind of indication in the text as to who is speaking, otherwise the reader can get lost.
this doesn't necessarily mean that you always have to explicitly say who is saying what, though. if it is obvious in a scene who is saying something -- so for example, a scene where there are only two characters talking OR the dialogue has some kind of phrase, statement, etc that makes it obvious who the speaker is -- then in that case you can just let the dialogue speak for itself. sometimes in writing less can be more. you disrupt the flow of a scene if you start to exposit unnecessarily when the reader could reasonably work something out for themself.
✬ "said" is your friend too
related to the last piece of advice, here's another note: don't shy away from using the word "said".
don't overuse it, either. obviously, you don't want every single line to be "he says" "she says" back and forth, especially when they might be asking questions or shouting, in which case the word "said" probably isn't all that applicable at all. but it's a nice default. if you catch yourself busting out the thesaurus, my recommendation? quit it. just use said. it's not going to hurt you and the reader isn't going to mind.
but yeah, in the event that a character is raising their voice, whispering, inquiring -- there are tons of other words you can use in lieu of said and then an adverb. it's just context-dependent, and also, you don't really want to lean too far one way or another. like i said, variety is key. too much of the same breaks immersion.
✬ if you wouldn't say it yourself, probably don't use it in writing
another related tip. look, i get it. you want to spruce up your writing with synonyms. but the fact of the matter is that a lot of these words that "mean the same thing" on paper actually have wildly differing connotations and if you don't understand what those are you're going to look kind of silly whipping out a word you just found off the internet. we can usually tell, too.
your vocabulary will naturally grow and expand as you continue to read and learn. you don't have to try and force it to seem smarter in your writing. people who can write compelling prose and dialogue without throwing in fancy words they barely understand look a lot more intelligent than people who have a thesaurus at the ready 24/7.
✬ if there's a simpler way to say it, take it
this one can be sort of style-dependent, so if it's not your cup of tea then feel free to take or leave this tip, but in my opinion, taking a whole seven-line paragraph to describe a simple action wastes both your and the readers' time.
how many times have you read a fic where the main characters are having a conversation with these long rambling paragraphs between lines of dialogue? sometimes this makes sense! if you were writing a death note fic it would absolutely make sense for light or L to be pausing every few seconds to carefully analyse their opponent's move... but that's not always the case. sometimes characters are just making small talk.
i'm not saying you can't show off. you should show off where applicable. but there's a time and place. sometimes a scene benefits more from you taking the easy way to describe something and moving on. flowery language is great, but if you're meandering too much the reader will lose interest and attention.
✬ a metaphor is useless if nobody knows what it means
writing is subjective and highly personal. write for yourself first and foremost, and use the metaphors that feel right to you -- but the best metaphorical pieces, to me, are the ones that people can understand and identify with.
you've read a story like that, haven't you? with a reoccurring theme or motif that comes back into play at the end in a way that makes you feel so satisfied and complete? THAT'S what you aim for with literary devices like that. if you write a story that nobody can understand, with metaphors that just don't make any sense -- then you haven't really successfully told a good story, have you?
i understand wanting to have a magnum opus. i think it's easy to fall into the "misunderstood writer" mindset where you want your pieces to be so magnificent that only the likeminded will get it -- but writing is a form of communication. metaphor is just another means with which we can illustrate how we feel. you WANT your readers to understand what you're doing with the metaphors, you WANT the people who step away from your story to know what you were trying to say. you don't have to be obvious, just make it good. make it something that can be reasonably drawn from the text.
at the end of the day flowery language is just flowery language. that doesn't actually make your story good.
✬ grammar intermission
(.) period/full stop: used at the end of sentences. oftentimes not used at the end of sentences in dialogue, because lines of dialogue are considered a fragment of a larger sentence. use a period/full stop at the end of a line of dialogue if the dialogue is followed up by another complete sentence. example:
"i just went to the store," he said, scratching his head.
"i just went to the store." he scratched his head.
(,) comma: used in the middle or to separate different clauses (parts/sections) of sentences. used for incomplete clauses, AKA sections of the sentence that could not function as individual sentences. also used to indicate a slight pause. example:
she reached for the ripest banana, plucking it from the bunch.
a comma can also be replaced by a conjunction like "and" or "but". example:
she reached for the ripest banana and plucked it from the bunch.
(;) semi colon: used to separate different complete clauses in sentences, AKA sections of the sentence that are related but COULD function individually as their own sentences. example:
he sighed as he looked out the window; it had been so long since he stepped outside.
not to be confused with
(:) colon: used at the end of a line that leads into or introduces another line. example:
his fingers drummed restlessly against the window sill. it was finally happening: he was finally leaving this place.
(-) hyphen: used to connect compound words like three-years-old or hyphenated surnames like jones-smith.
(–) en dash: used to indicate ranges of time or distance, like 3–4 hours.
(—) em dash: a girl's best friend. slash j. but an em dash is used to indicate a few different things: an abrupt end to a thought or sentence, a "cut-in" where you interject something tangentially or unrelated before returning to the original thought, or a diversion in the sentence/thought. examples:
"no, listen, you don't understand—"
he scowled—an ugly look on his usually handsome features—and told her to be quiet.
it's not like she had wanted it to go that way—but when had it ever mattered what she wanted?
(()) parentheses: used to add additional context, information, or a semi-unrelated thought that would break the flow of an ongoing sentence without completely taking the reader out. example:
"no, i'm sorry. i just forgot to call you this morning," he said, looking away. (in truth, he'd sat by the phone for fifteen minutes trying to psyche himself into it, but hadn't been able to muster the courage.)
✬ show don't tell, and tell don't show
show don't tell is one of the classic pieces of writing advice that i do, often, think is correct -- but it's a little more nuanced than just never telling your readers what a character is thinking. you want the work to speak for itself without you implanting messages or themes into the reader's brain. at the same time though you don't want them to be doing too much work because it breaks immersion.
this ties into what i was saying above about simpler being better sometimes. you want to be concise especially in scenes that might call for it. a fight scene should be quick and snappy. no need to dig into the physical sensation of being enraged -- just say the character is pissed! but if a character is having a meltdown or panicking, you can get SO much more out of describing how that feels than just outright saying it.
✬ remember your perspective
another huge thing with show don't tell is that you don't want your character to be able to objectively say what everyone else is thinking and feeling -- unless that makes sense for them within the context of the story. really dig into it. DOES the character have a reason to know what their opponents, friends, etc are thinking? how well do they know the other characters? how attentive are they to the emotions of those around them?
it's better to focus on descriptions than labels in that case. say what face a character is making, describe their body language or tone. your character can have impressions, just make it clear that those ARE their impressions. and let your character be wrong! they do not have to be a completely objective source of information.
✬ when it comes to representation, if you aren't confident you can do it well, don't do it at all
i'm one of those people who's kind of of the opinion that white or cishet or otherwise systemically advantaged people have no place being the loudest voices in conversations about representation, least of all AS the representatives. if you are someone with systemic privilege and you choose to portray someone who is oppressed -- that's not necessarily a bad thing. but you need to be willing to do your research and have a sensitivity reader, and you have to be ready for people to say you did it wrong.
not much else to be said about that. your voice on the matter isn't actually all that important. there are people from the demographics involved who DO have stories to tell about themselves that will be MUCH more valuable than your perception of them, so it's honestly better to just let them tell it. that's how i feel.
✬ don't break the rules unless you know how to follow them. in other words, your rebellion should be obvious
a lot of times i see people breaking grammar or other rules and citing "stylistic" choices as their reasons why. which is all good and well, to an extent -- but you want it to be very clear that you ARE breaking the rules on purpose in a way that adds to the artistic merit of your piece.
if you don't know the rules, then it really just comes across like messy work. you both have to know how to apply the rules, and also how to break them in a stylistically significant way. if it doesn't make sense for the rules to be broken, if it says nothing... it's honestly better to just follow them. that's my take.
✬ don't be scared of names and pronouns
i said before that you want variety in your work, and that is very very true -- but it's also true that certain words like names, pronouns, etc will sort of blend into the background in writing. people don't notice them. that means if you're using a name or pronoun a lot in a scene to make it clear who exactly is being referred to...
hey. look into my eyes. breathe. it's okay. you do not have to resort to highlighting arbitrary characteristics of the characters. i know. just breathe. it's okay. use their names. they have them for a reason. it's all good.
this isn't to say that you SHOULDN'T do that, just do it when it makes sense to. if height is something the characters are noticing then use "the shorter boy". if age is relevant, eye colour, hair colour, whatever -- go ahead and use them. but don't be excessive with it. i should not be having to read the bluenette more than i'm reading shuichi's actual goddamn name.
✬ read
this is the huge one. reading other works informs your writing. it teaches you skills and tricks you can use. it helps expand your dialogue and your world view. it might even highlight to you things you do too much of in your own writing. read, all the time, whenever you can. it doesn't have to be books. it can be fanfic, articles, whatever -- just keep reading, because you will be passively absorbing knowledge during that time and it'll help you grow as a writer.
✬ practice
BOOOOOO TOMATO TOMATO TOMATO! SHE SAID THE THING SHE SAID IT!
but listen, it's literally just true. i write almost every day for at least a couple of hours and i have been on a trend of consistent growth for the past five years. go read my fics from 2019 if you don't believe me. i've grown fast and i've grown constantly. you just DO grow through constant practice, even if it doesn't always seem that way.
not only that, but you start to build confidence too. writing a lot helps develop those muscles to a point where you start to realise that you ARE that good and you DO have that dawg in you. or whatever. you just have to keep at it. you're not going to magically improve thinking for six months about how you want to be a better writer without practicing anything about it.
✬ yeah, betas are good
you want to have a good editor. i know that that can feel like having someone ELSE be the reason your piece is good, but that's genuinely not it. a beta reader is a second pair of eyes on your work, someone who can tell you about the issues and mistakes you're missing. they'll tell you when something doesn't make sense. they'll point out your punctuation errors. you don't NEED to have a good editor for every crummy little oneshot... but it's good to have one.
✬ numbers are fine and all but don't compare yourself to other people
i think almost everyone in some kind of creative pursuit wants to get some kind of acknowledgement for it. we want to be the best we can be, and it can be discouraging to receive utterly no validation along the way! i get it!!
just don't get caught up in crunching the numbers. you are not as good as your fanbase is. you alone know your skillset and you absolutely should not say "well this other writer got THIS much attention" because that'll just wear you down. it really will. external validation will only keep you going for so long, and you'll always end up needing more. you HAVE to build your own personal confidence first or you'll crash and burn.
✬ read your writing out loud
there is no quicker way to see if something is wonky in your prose than reading it out loud and seeing if it makes sense verbally. i highly recommend this to anybody who struggles with sentence flow. it's a good one.
✬ yippee hooray!
🥰 and that's what i've got for now. thank you if you made it this far, please take all these tips as you will, it is all subjective of course, these are just the tips that help Me the most when i sit down to write something.
please feel free to ask me for additional advice (on specific topics if you could!) at any time, i love encouraging new writers and i am passionate about writing so i will gladly offer support in any way i can, including beta reading works for anybody who might need that.
take care now 💖
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ave09 · 1 year
Text
marriage
indiana jones x reader
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“indy?”
“doll?”
“where do you draw the line when it comes to grading?” the man glanced up at you, pushing his round spectacles up the bridge of his nose, “what do you mean?” 
you slid the test you were grading across the table, “her answer is correct technically speaking, but he added a lot of unnecessary information that i had to pick the paragraph apart to find the right answer.” 
his hazel eyes skimmed the overly large paragraph, chuckling, “mark it as wrong.” you arched your brows in surprise, “really?” indiana nodded, “she’s adding in the extra information in order to try and score points with me, i’ve seen it too many times before.” 
“but won’t marking it wrong benefit her? this is worth ten points, marking this wrong will bring her to an F. therefore, you will have you will have to meet with her after class, giving her exactly what she wants, which is alone time with her attractive professor.” 
indiana stared blankly for a moment. he knew you were right. and yet, his answer remained the same, “mark it wrong.” 
you complied, using a red pen to mark an ‘x’ over the question. “well, don’t complain to me when she starts writing ‘love you’ across her eyelids.” 
suddenly, indiana rose from his seat abruptly, “maybe it’s time to show them that i already have a lovely lady.” 
“they know, i’ve been to your class before, indiana.” 
“no no, i mean like officially. show ‘em that i’m off the market completely.” you furrowed your brows, “indy, i’m not following.” the man rushed out of the room, toward the kitchen. you rose to follow him, only to hear, “don’t move!” 
so you remained seated. you heard a rummaging sound, then a clang. your gut told you to go see what was going on, but you remained compliant to indiana’s orders. 
he reentered the room, “okay,” he exhaled deeply, “i was gonna plan this out, make it nice and all, but i am known to be spontaneous..” 
then he dropped to one knee. your eyes widened as he revealed a small velvet box. you couldn’t believe it. 
“beautiful, we’ve been through a whole hell of a lot. from wild adventures, to almost dying, you’ve stuck with me through it all. and i’ll be honest, i never saw myself as the type of guy to settle down, but, then i met you.”
tears stung your eyes.
“you make me better, you make my life better. you’re the light in the darkness and i love you so much.”
he opened the box, revealing a beautiful diamond ring. 
“will you do me and the honor, and become mrs. jones.” 
you smiled tearfully, nodding rapidly, “of course i will, indy.” he grinned widely, “i had a feeling you’d say yes.” indiana then rose to his full height, you stood as well, approaching him. the man gently reached for your left hand, sliding the band onto your ring finger.
you couldn’t believe it! you were getting married!
“y’know, i think this calls for a celebration.” 
“celebration?” you were thinking he met breaking out the wine, or even heading to the bedroom. but instead, indiana moseyed toward the stereo, clicking it on.
 ‘cheek to cheek’ by fred astaire began playing. 
indiana turned around, extending a hand toward you, “dance with me?” 
“of course.” you replied, taking his hand. you two danced around your dining room, completely forgetting about the pile of papers that needed to be graded.
indiana began singing along in a low voice, “when we’re off together dancing cheek to cheek.” it was always a surprise to hear him
sing. it was one of the man’s many hidden talents, and you were the only one he’d ever sing for. 
he then spun you around, before pulling you close to him. 
“i love you.” he whispered, leaning in to kiss you. 
“i know.” you replied, only to have him
jerk back, “ i know? that’s all i get? i know?” you let out a loud laugh, “i love you too, indy. more than anything.” you then pressed your lips to his in a passionate kiss.
— — —
the next morning, indiana jones walked to his classroom with an unexplained pep in his step.  the students exchanged confused looks, the professors were curious.
the man stepped into his classroom, clapping his hands as he grinned at the students, “good morning class!”
“good morning, doctor jones.” they replied. one of the girls, the very one who had added all the entire information onto her test, raised her hand. 
“yes, miss fisher?”
“you seem very happy this morning, doctor jones, has something happened?” the man’s smile somehow grew bigger as he thought back to the events of the night before.
“something has happened, miss fisher, and i’ve been waiting all morning to tell you-i’m getting married.” 
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ivy-loves-chocolate · 5 months
Note
I saw you wanted some ideas for Leon so here’s mine: you’re hiding with him in the RPD from Mr.X in the stars office, and the more you talk the more you realize you’re into each other. A small make-out session turns into something more and Mr.X becomes your last worry.
Btw, I loved your recent Leon fic :3
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⋆ ˚。⋆୨ N o t e ୧⋆ ˚。⋆ I found this in my drafts with a few paragraphs written and decided to finish it. I'll start the year with a smut, haha. Thank you, anon for the idea, and I'm sorry I made you wait 🙏❤️. I hope you like this 😊. I wanna write more about him, so keep the requests coming! Also, your feedback is appreciated ❤️.
⋆ ˚。⋆୨ P a i r ୧⋆ ˚。⋆ Leon S. Kennedy x F!Reader
I take commissions so if you're interested check my Ko-Fi. ❤️
You were both panting as you barely escaped the monster that was chasing you relentlessly all night. He was tall and strong, and bullets didn't kill him. From the distance, it looked like a normal person given the simple outfit; he was wearing a hat and a trenchcoat, both black, but from up close, he was rather scary due to his grey skin and dead eyes. The height also added to the intimidating factor.
How did he end up dressed that way? You asked yourself as you saw him kneeling on the ground. Leon just emptied a clip by shooting his head. Apparently, bullets stop him for a bit, giving you a chance to run. Still, you couldn't help but be amused by his attire.
"Who the fuck gave this thing a fedora?" You asked quietly as you passed near him. "Like, it has to be custom made or something? Look at the size of its head…"
"Probably, but I think we have more important things to worry about right now."
You hurried outside the library and never stopped running. They just kept coming… from all directions. You tried blocking some windows, but it was useless.
All this time, you followed Leon's command, as he seemed more collected, even if he was just a rookie. You had a hunch that he was trying to impress you, and you had two reasons. One, you heard him curse like a sailor around the station before meeting him—something that didn't happen when he was with you—and two, you caught him staring at you a few times. He'd looked away every time you turned your attention to him, but he couldn't hide that smirk.
"This way," he whispered as he gently closed the door behind him.
"Where to-"
"Shh," he said, pointing to the ceiling. Your face turned pale at the sight of the horrendous creature that was crawling. Its sharp, long claws tapped on the surface as he walked on all fours; its brain was popping out, and he didn't appear to have any eyes. Terrified, you froze in place, but Leon grabbed your hand and guided you into the corridor.
"Just watch your steps, ok?" he whispered again in a soft voice, trying to soothen you. "Don't look at it; you'll be fine. Just stick with me."
With steady steps, you made your way to the STARS office and closed the door behind you. Leon pressed his ear on the door, and once he heard the licker crawling away, he told you that you were safe.
You let out a sigh of relief. You hadn't realised you were holding your breath until now.
"Good. Listen, do you mind if we rest a bit here? It's too much cardio for me," you joked.
"Sure, I could use some rest too."
The STARS office was clear, and you found supplies too. Some medicine, ammo, food, and water felt like a gift sent from God. There was also an armory, but it needed to be unlocked from the computer. A reminder that your work is far from done. Still, you tried to enjoy your small break. Leon was sitting at one desk from the edge, and you were sitting next to him. Behind you was a nice brown leather jacket, which you considered taking, but it was too big to fit you. The team's belongings were intact, making you wonder why they closed the unit so suddenly.
"Where do you think they are? Do you think they are safe?" you asked Leon, who was busy starring in the blank.
"They are probably doing better than we are. Those guys were elite."
"I think we're holding up pretty well, considering you're a rookie and I never touched a gun."
"Yeah…you almost blasted my brains back then," he chuckled.
"I'm sorry about that." You said it soflty and gently squeezed his forearm as a sign of comfort. "But you burst through that door, and I panicked."
"It's alright," he said, smiling. He smoothly slid his arm to the edge so he could grab your hand. Your fingers intertwined quickly.
"Thanks for the quick lesson, tho…it came in handy."
"No problem, you're a natural," he winked, which made you blush.
"Yeah, but I kinda had a great teacher."
"What can I say? I work best under stress."
You both chuckled. A short pause followed, in which both of you just stared at each other. Leon wanted to say so many things to you. He wanted to praise you for being so brave and for taking care of him; he wanted to tell you how lucky he feels to have found you in this mess, but he didn't know where to start.
"You ok?" you asked, seeing that he got lost in his thoughts again.
"Yeah, I'm fine… I was grateful for having you with me; that's all."
"Really? For a moment, I thought I slowed you down."
"Me slowing you down? You're faster than me. You actually left me behind a couple of times."
"Oh, that? I thought you did that on purpose...just trying to get rid of me."
He chuckled.
"Nah...I never wished to get rid of you. I really like having you around." He said.
"Me too..."
Neither of you let go of the other's hand.
You both stopped talking. Your smiles dropped and your eyes closed as you leaned forward towards each other. Soon, your lips touched over and over again, filling the room with faint sounds of kissing. You were both shy at first, but Leon got more courageous and came closer to you. His hands found your waist, and you cupped his face, prolonging the kiss. Soon, you felt Leon's tongue trying to find yours, and the kiss got a lot more intense.
Not carrying about Mr.X and other threats, you climbed onto Leon's lap and continued to kiss him with the same passion. Now you were closer to each other as you wrapped your arms around his neck, and he wrapped his big arms around your waist, hugging you and keeping you close.
It shows that Leon craved this kind of affection and intimacy from the sweet whimpers that came out occasionally.
"Wait…" he said as he broke the kiss. "I know a more comfortable chair…"
You didn't know what he meant until he suddenly stood up while managing to carry you and went to Wesker's office. He was a strong fella.
On his way, he never ceased to kiss you, becoming even more eager.
He sat on Wesker's chair, which was more comfortable and much bigger than the previous one. Since your legs had more room to rest, you had the strength to roll your hips over his crotch, letting out small, deep whimpers as you felt his bulge growing between your legs.
His hands squeezed your flesh as they ran along your waist. His muscles relaxed under your precise movements. His needy whines filled the room as you kept moving faster.
"Y/N…" He whispered shyly, breaking the kiss for a few seconds before coming to taste your lips again. He felt his cock throbbing in his pants. He wanted you; he craved you. It was unbearable.
You felt the same way, and your cunt was throbbing with excitement as you thought about him inside you…he felt…big…
With fast movements, you took your pants off, and then you proceeded to strip him off. His cock jumped in the air once his boxers slipped past those big thighs of his, and oh, what a sigh it was. He was long, thick, and leaked heavily in front of your eyes. You watched how a droplet of his precum glided along his length, making you drool. His tip glistered as it was basically drenched in his own juices.
You teasingly tapped his tip with one of your fingers, which made him whine loudly.
"Y/N…" he said, his attempt to maintain his composure being obvious.
"Shh. Just stick with me." You said this, looking at him with siren eyes.
You climbed back, one leg slidding next to him, and the other followed slowly. You raised a bit and aligned yourself above his tip. You wrapped your arms around his neck as you began to descend slowly and gasped when you felt his cock entering inside you. When he felt himself inside you, he pulled you again in a passionate, eager kiss.
Moans and whimpers filled Wesker's office quickly. You let out sharp, deep exhales as you took more and more of him. You struggled a bit at first, but both of you were so wet that after a few thrusts, you slid up and down with ease. Leon moved his hands to your ass, squeezing your cheeks hard with every throb of his cock. Not only did you feel him leak inside you, but you also felt how he rubbed that sweet spot inside you. It was pure bliss, which turned your mind foggy.
He also thrust his hips from beneath you, matching your own rhythm. You allowed yourselves to sink deeper into each other's touch without being bothered by what was happening out there. The kiss became messier, the touching more intense, and the thrusts more erratic as you chased your own release.
However, Leon felt that his time would come sooner, so he lifted you spontaneously and placed you on the desk, knocking down everything that would make you uncomfortable. Was that too loud? He didn't care.
"You are so strong, officer." You teased him and gave him the same dirty look, enjoying how that made him visibly weaker. He rolled his eyes and lowered his head a bit to the side, trying to hide his blushing cheeks.
His cock was halfway inside you now, and his arm rested near your head. With a deep breath, he began to thrust inside you, and he maintained eye contact this time. His face was still red, but not because of embarrassment, but because of how good your cunt made him feel. You wrapped your legs around his waist so you could feel him deeper.
His pace was slow at first, and he didn't go all in. It was pleasant, of course, but you wanted more, so you gently pulled him closer with your legs.
Understanding your intentions, he went all in, his balls constantly slapping your skin with each thrust. His breathing became faster, and your moans became louder as he finally hit that spot inside you again. When he picked up the pace, he placed his big thumb at your clit and stroked it fast. You felt a familiar pressure in your lower belly, and your throbbing cunt gave him a clue that you were about to cum.
"Leon…don't stop…" You said it between whimpers.
With his final strength, he went even faster with both his thrusts and strokes, and finally, he felt your wall clenching around his cock. With rolled eyes and curled toes, you grabbed his forearms as the orgasm hit you hard. A few seconds after your climax, you heard his moans getting louder. Then you felt hot spurts of his cum filling you up fast.
Both of you were trying to catch your breath now. Leon collapsed on top of you and allowed himself to indugle with your gentle touch for a few moments. Your arms were tightly wrapped around his tired body, with one hand playing with some strands of his blonde, smooth hair. The other caressed his back.
His nose was buried in your neck, enjoying the warmth and comfort that your body provided.
"I never thought I'd get laid on my first day as a police officer," he muffled, making you chuckle.
"Well, I bet you never expected a zombie apocalypse either."
"To be honest, if you would've asked me a few days ago which was more likely to happen, I'd go for the zombie apocalypse."
You chuckle again.
"You need to be more confident, Leon." Your fingers moved to his nape. "You're a great guy."
Once he felt your feather-like touch, he sighed with satisfaction.
"Oh yeah, just like that."
You began to massage gently. All this time, he remained inside you, and neither of you protested.
"You like that?"
He let out an affirmative hum.
"I'll tell you what," you began in a soft, calming voice. "When this is over, we keep in touch and go on a normal date. To get to know each other, you know?"
"Sounds good, but we need to get out of here in one piece…"
"Hmm…yeah…let's do that then."
He pulled out eventually and helped you get dressed.
You slowly made your way out of the STARS office, then made your way further into the station, looking for a way out. Now you look at the situation with a little more hope. Maybe it's because of the sex, or maybe you realised you have someone to count on. Who knows, but one thing is sure: you lived to go on your first date.
Tag-list: @lunarastrobabe @skylar-todd@rokurodokuro@brownsugarwrites (if you want to be added DM me 🤗)
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You should do one where reader just wants to spend time alone by themselves(whether it be the afternoon or morning) but hobie and pavitr won’t let them
𝘾𝙤𝙣𝙨𝙞𝙨𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩 𝙥𝙡𝙖𝙣𝙨
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Cw: reader x lovesick!Hobie Brown x lovesick!Pavitr Prabhakar, overlooking toxic behavior, touching with dubious consent, oblivious reader, anxious attachment (Pavitr), suggestive, aged-up characters, reader's gender neutral but it is kinda fem aligned, reader knows about the multiverse but it's not clarified if they're a spider person, I already warned this but just want to say that just because the toxic behavior here isn't portrayed as negatively as my others fics doesn't mean I condone it.
Notes: while I was writing the first paragraph I was like "damn I should do this too" and started deep cleaning around my house. This triggered an episode and that's the reason I haven't been posting as much, I was cleaning. I'm actually on a break from cleaning /srs
You prepared everything to have some alone time this afternoon, you cooked your favorite meal, did an everything shower with your favorite products, you cleaned up everything yesterday so you didn't have to do anything today, and after putting on comfy pajamas, you sat on the couch with snacks and a face mask to watch a comfort show.
It was halfway through the fourth episode when you heard noise coming from your room, and see your boyfriends appearing into your living room, even though you told them you wanted to be alone today. You try and give them the benefit of the doubt, and imagine maybe the mission today was extra rough and they needed comfort, or they forgot about your petition, Pavitr had university, being spiderman, reporting to the spider society, Hobie was, well, trying to bash the president's head with a guitar plus the spider society stuff, so yeah, they had busy lives.
"Hello there, looking lovely" Hobie chuckled with his hands on his pockets, probably laughing at your face mask, Pavitr came in for a hug, you accepted, "ohh, self care day? Do you have any extra masks, I can buy us snacks? Wait- mumbattan currency doesn't work here, I forgot, anyways, is there any room left for us?" You moved quietly and smiled to let your boyfriends sit beside you.
It's not like you want them to go, but they do take too much space. Talking about the couch, of course... And maybe about your life a little bit, you loved them, but when you started your long distance relationship (between universes) you thought you'd have just a tad more time to yourself.
You can't concentrate in the show quite as well, thinking about what could make them forget about your you-day and still want to come, why did they always forget? They both seem to have pretty good memory, the zone off for a minutes, fortunately for you, it's the fifth time you watch this episode. Your phone rings and before you can grab it, Hobie picks it up, notices is not a call and hands it to you, it's the timer for your face mask, how kind of him to even set off the alarm to you since it's your day off.
You take the sticky sheet off your face and massage the serum into your skin as you start to walk to the living room, wanting to scratch the itch and address the subject you've had in your mind, you decide to soft launch it.
"Did any of you, read the chat yesterday?"
"Yes, I always do, Hobie does too, why?" Pavitr lies on Hobie's chest and mindlessly scroll through his phone while he answers you
"Then maybe you forgot that today I kinda wanted to be alone, you know, me-time? You also forgot last week, and the week before that..."
Hobie spoke "Sorry 'bout that, 'have bad memory, a flaw of mine, we can leave if we're a bother" it saddened you he saw himself as a bother, he just forgot, we all make mistakes
"Oh, I didn't forget, I just don't want to leave you alone" Pavitr responded with normality, he didn't like having Hobie speak for him, he regularly contradicted him in stuff like this. Hobie laughs and pata his shoulder, he laughed like a joke, so then it was probably a joke, even though you three were dating, they had their own things, so this must be one of them.
You sat down, you were on the right arm of the couch, and Hobie was in the left one, Pavitr was between you both, he didn't seem at all displeased.
You laughed at the show a few times, and a couple minutes in, you feel Pav's hair ticking you, he's sniffing around your neck.
"You smell good, like your regular scent but better, did you tried the body wash I gave you?" You nod and smile at his sweet antics "And your skin, you look radiant, jaanu" he kisses you cheek, then makes a face, scrunching up his nose at the taste, you giggle. "It's supposed to be good for my skin, not be tasty" you say in airy laugh, he pouts, "But I wanted to kiss you", "my lips have no serum" he looks like a kid on Christmas morning and puts dives right into your lips, you expect a quick kiss before going back to your binge-watching (that you'd been looking forward to all week) but he crashes his lips into yours with need, you try to pull away two times before patting his shoulder, Hobie sees this, and now manspreading on the coffee table instead of the couch, he grabs Pavitr's hair and lightly pulls, "give 'em a break, sweetheart" he obediently looks at him, dilated pupils and breath hitched, Hobie's hands traveled to Pavitr's cheek and he nuzzled on it like a cat, "We don't want them to pass out, now, do we?" Hobie's tone is firm, but still has that certain rogueness he always speaks with. Even though Pavitr's mouth isn't on you, he's still mostly on top of you, and his hands don't stop wandering in your sides, pinching playfully at the fat, kneading on your waist, you really wishes you could keep watching your show and then read the book you always say you should read, or organize that messy shelf that keeps stressing you out, but hey, is not like you dislike this, right? "You won't-?" Pavitr asks in a whisper, when Hobie takes his fingers off his mouth "I'll watch for now" his smile makes you bite your lip in excitement, it seems to have a similar effect on Pavitr, who grips your waist harder, and slowly goes to grab your hips, "Keep going?" Hobie asks, deep black eyes set on yours, it makes you flustered. He's asking for consent, he's very nice, and Pavitr did have your consent earlier, it's just he was a little... Excited, it's okay, because he's nice.
You have two very nice boyfriends, even though they're forgetful.
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rassvetsky · 2 years
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i was wondering if u can come up with ‘a trust issue who needs reassurance all the time’ reader and ‘i dont know how to communicate my feelings’ bucky. basically a miscommunication trope.
i will accept however storyline and ending you make because i love you and i love ur writing💕❤️❤️
hi babe!! i really really hope i did your wonderful request at least some justice because i got too carried away-- i hope you like it! thank you for existing ♡
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Out Of Mind
bucky barnes x reader
"Falling in love with you terrified Bucky, enough to push you away. He was sure that it's better this way. But merely a week later, when you disappear without a trace, Bucky realized that he couldn't handle being without you."
[5.2k] | angst with a happy ending, miscommunication, arguing, bucky being an asshole at first but he has his reasons, natasha being protective, sassy tony, canon level violence, fighting, reader getting minor injuries, clint is the loml, bucky is an idiot in love my dudes, they're so cute god help me
reblog and/or like for a kiss, feedback much appreciated! not proofread.
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Bucky used to be a simple man, Steve had told you long ago. After all those years of torture, he developed… Complexity.
And you couldn't agree more.
He was a tender lover to begin with, the one to always make sure that you were alright, the one to put your wellbeing above his. He wasn't good with words- wasn't the most expressive man out there, but you understood him. You understood why he never included cards in the flowers he sent to you, or sometimes didn't say anything back to your love declarations other than a bashful smile; you understood that for him, these things worked in different ways now.
And that's why he loved you so much. That's why he was terrified.
Because the deeper he fell for you, the more intense his feelings got. The harder his separation anxiety hit, the more mushed his brain became.
And in any other scenario, that would be lovely. Those butterflies that one would feel in their stomach, or the sweet little dumbification that came hand to hand with love. In another life, he'd bask in the feeling. He'd see the world around him under a different light, a light that you cast on his life.
But in this life? It was nothing but dangerous. Nothing but absolutely horrendous.
Because he was supposed to focus. He was supposed to be alert. His fight or flight response had to be on at all times and no matter what, he was supposed to prioritize his life to save the others.
He couldn't do that when you were involved, not anymore. The paranoia got too much- he was terrified of seeing you get hurt, of losing you in any way. That fear brought out the worst in him, causing fights to break out whenever you willingly got yourself in trouble, distracting him, making you drift apart further.
You didn't want that. He didn't want that. But life for you wasn't always just movie nights at the compound, breakfasts on bed, long nights of talking about the future.
He had to let the chips fall where they may.
You needed reassurance, he knew that. But suddenly, after the last mission you went on with the team including Bucky, he suddenly… Stopped doing that. That bashful grin was nowhere to be seen when you told him you loved him, when you held his hand it just didn't last as long as it usually did, he… He didn't even look at you properly. And that went on for days, each day worse than the one before, until he barely even talked to you.
And the dread you felt on your chest was unbearable.
The night-time fell quicker than any other day that one evening, as you prepared yourself a warm tea to accompany your book. Carrying the mug up to your shared room with Bucky, you slowly got under the sheets, holding the book open with one hand, mug with the other.
The plot was barely interesting to you with all the thoughts running through your mind, snatching your attention from the words, making you have to go back and reread the same paragraphs over and over. It wasn't anything new, this type of distraction, but more often than not, it was the aftermath of the latest mission plaguing your mind. Not your boyfriend being excessively restrained towards you, as if your sole existence was a problem for him.
Speaking of, maybe it was. Maybe you were too high-maintenance for him, maybe you weren't giving him enough space, maybe he was just going through something. Or maybe, he was done with you. He didn't need you anymore, now that he got rid of the vivid nightmares and dissociations-
How cruel of you to think that. How cruel of him to leave that open as a possibility.
With your tea half-drank, you set the mug back on the nightstand, pinning the bookmark between the pages before leaving it by the mug. You didn't feel like laying down- didn't think you could fall asleep with your mind on overdrive like this anyway. Getting up from where you were laid across, you slowly made your way over to the window, arms crossed on your chest as you heaved a sigh. The view was nice, moonlight illuminated enough of the surrounding trees, and if you were to squint, you could see the grass shine wetly, with a layer of dew upon them.
You couldn't help the way your shoulders tensed a bit when the door knob twisted open, hearing the heavy steps of your lover and a sigh leaving his lips. Your back was facing him still, and you didn't dare to look at him, figuring he was busy changing his clothes judging by the shuffling sound of fabric.
The slight squeak of the mattress brought a bitter grin to your lips as you spoke up. "Not even gonna talk to me?"
He was quiet for a full minute. "Sorry. I'm tired, sweetheart."
"Of me?"
"What?" he sounded surprised. "Wha- why would I be tired of you?"
"I don't know." you sighed. "You've been acting incredibly distant for the past week. Figured I was tiring you out."
Another squeak, he was on his feet now. Slowly walking towards you, he rested a hand on the small of your back, but you still didn't look at him. You wouldn't admit that to yourself but you really didn't want to know the truth.
"Don't be ridiculous," he spoke, tone quiet. "It's just that… The missions, you know how they-"
"We went through rougher missions back then," you chuckled. "On the verge of death, covered in blood. Missions that went on for months. You didn't treat me like this then."
"How am I treating you?"
"Like I'm a fucking nuisance!" you finally snapped, pushing his hand away from your body before turning towards him. Your eyes were wide with anger, chest heaving. "You're treating me like you don't even want to see me!"
"You're my girlfriend!" he was bewildered, albeit a bit guilty. "Of course I want to see you, what the fuck are you even talking about?!"
A scoff left your lips. "Fuck that! You used to treat me better when we were barely friends," you watched him look away, annoyed. "I've been trying to give you some space but you- you just won't tell me shit! You're barely talking to me, anyway! How the hell am I supposed to know what I did wrong if you won't even talk to me, Bucky?!"
Bucky felt his heart getting heavier. "Stop assuming that you did something wrong-"
"Then what else?! What else can I assume? For fuck's sake, am I supposed to assume that there's someone else, or you're just- you're just sick of me. That you don't need me anymore, is that what I'm supposed to think?" you could feel the tears building up by your waterline. "Fucking hell, it'd hurt way less if I was sure that it's all my fault! Or- even if you were- I just- just tell me what the fuck is wrong with you, please?"
"Nothing!" he was loud, suddenly. The sudden outburst had you taking a step back in instinct, and he panicked so hard for a moment that he almost took a step towards you.
He knew he shouldn't.
"Nothing, okay? Just one of those weeks. Leave it alone."
"Fine." you sighed. "Fine, I'll leave it alone. I'll leave you alone, Bucky, to figure your shit out and- please, for the love of God, don't talk to me until you do. I'm done being treated like garbage." and with a final shove to his chest, you walked out of the door.
Bucky knew that he deserved that.
Hell, he deserved a solid punch for the way he was treating you but he didn't know how else to act. He didn't know what else to do. He was so sick of worrying, being in a constant state of paranoia because of you, so sick of his heart hurting like someone reached right into his chest and severed it off whenever you got hurt.
Was he protecting himself, or you?
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"Hey," Sam swiftly sat by Bucky's side with a bowl of cereal on his palms, not giving the other a chance to walk away before speaking up again. "You good? You look like… Hell, I can't sugarcoat this. You look like absolute shit."
Bucky felt like absolute shit.
"I'm fine." he muttered, eyes trained on the big TV screen in front of them. The compound had been pretty quiet for the past few weeks, with the main troublemakers scattered around the globe for a mission.
Sam saw right through his bullshit, though. "Your girl ain't talking to you?"
"None of your business."
"She looks like absolute shit too."
Bucky took a moment to process that.
"Did you guys fight?"
"Again, none of your business, Sam." heaving a sigh, Bucky slowly pushed himself up to his feet, leaving Sam sitting on the couch all alone. Natasha, who was busy making herself something to eat to get through lunch, decided to chime in after Bucky managed to take a few steps away.
"You push her away the second things get hard and then wonder why she hates you."
If looks could kill, Bucky's would murder everyone in that room under three seconds. "She doesn't hate me."
"You want her to hate you."
"Bullshit."
"Because you hate yourself. Isn't that it?"
Sam's eyes were wide when he looked at Natasha. She was the one to deliver a hard kick on the shin when one needed it, tough-loving and relentless with her words- not to hurt the other, but to give them a chance to see things from a different perspective.
When Bucky didn't say anything, Natasha decided to continue. "I don't know how you're justifying this in that 'cyborg' brain but you don't have one single right to punish her. For absolutely no reason, too."
"Natasha-"
"Shut it, Sam." she shook her head. "We get it, you don't like fights. But I never took you for a coward, James, and you're not being anything else but that with the way you're refusing to fight for her."
Nobody said anything else for a solid minute, while Natasha kept glaring at Bucky. His eyes were on the ground now, the harsh nature of Natasha's words hitting him right across the chest- and it hurt. It hurt bad, because he knew that he was hurting you on purpose. "How do I make it right?"
"In my opinion? Leave her the fuck alone-"
"No, no. Natasha, calm your horses," Sam got up from where he was seated, approaching the two with a relaxed expression to calm them both down. "Just tell her how you feel, man. Be real with her. Be completely honest- if you don't love her anymore, just say so. If that's not the case, then-"
"I love her, Sam."
A soft sigh left Sam's lips. "I know. Just talk to her. She'll understand."
Bucky shook his head in a nod. The idea of talking to you was nerve-wracking, to say the least. You hadn't talked to him in a week, despite living in the same compound. Didn't even dare to step into your shared room when he was there, instead deciding to take on a vacant room for a while and get your work done in silence.
You were afraid of continuing that argument, honestly. Because you and Bucky- you two weren't the type to argue. Problems would be solved in peace at all times, with both parties admitting to their faults. So when that dynamic changed, it freaked you out. Just like how falling in love with you freaked out Bucky.
"FRIDAY," Bucky called out. "Where's Y/N?"
An automated voice answered immediately. "I'm afraid that information is classified." Bucky tensed up quicker than he'd like to admit.
"What?" Sam muttered under his breath, gaze finding Natasha's confused one. Natasha spoke up not too long afterwards. "What do you mean by classified?"
"Mr. Stark specifically requested that I keep Mrs. Y/L/N's current location confidential."
"Fucking hell," Bucky heaved a sigh. "Have any of you seen her today?"
"Nah," with a shrug, Sam walked towards the counter to set down his bowl of cereal, suddenly not interested in the food but rather, your whereabouts. "Last I saw her… Yesterday evening, yeah. She was leaving Tony's office, didn't say anything."
"Where did she go after that?"
"Man, how would I know? I'm not keepin' tabs on your girlfriend, that's your job."
"FRIDAY, where's Tony?" Natasha ignored the two, focusing on the matter at hand. For all she knew, you weren't the one to keep secrets from the team. Even on solo missions, you would always keep your tracker on just in case.
"In his office. Shall I inform Mr. Stark of your visit?"
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"Nope." lips pressed into a thin line, and a not-so-apologetic shrug. Typical Tony Stark nature. "Just because you live here doesn't mean you have to know everything."
"But she's my girlfriend."
"Just because she made that mistake doesn't mean you have to know everything, Barnes." Tony quipped. "If anyone else in this room was on her position and I were to give away your location, which she specifically made sure that I wouldn't tell, I would be murdered horrendously."
"It's not like her to do that." Natasha's tone was way softer than Bucky's, understandably. She was mad at Bucky and worried about you at the same time but still, keeping her cool was an art form and she was doing it beautifully. "We're just worried, that's all."
"You don't seem like her parents to me."
"Would you tell us if we were her parents?"
"Wilson, use your head. Of course I wouldn't." plopping down on his seat with a huff, Tony rolled his eyes. "I'm sure you'd beg to differ but I'm a very virtuous and excruciatingly handsome man, and I made a promise, so… The door is right behind you. I got a lot of stuff to do."
The sound of Bucky's palm meeting the desk separating him from Tony caused everyone's eyes to find his, including Tony. "You have to give me something."
"I don't owe you anything." Tony's words were like venom as they dripped from his tongue, his challenging gaze on Bucky's rampageous one. "But if you really, really want her to hate all of you, fine. She's on a solo mission."
"A solo mission?! You sent her on a solo mission?!" Sam was quick to grab Bucky by the arm, pulling him back a little.
"Man, calm down-"
"Last time I checked, she was perfectly capable of handling a mission and taking care of herself." Tony spoke, calm despite the furious man standing in front of him. "She wanted to go. Why the hell would I say no?"
"Bucky, he's right." Natasha pushed herself up from the wall she was leaning on. Signaling for Sam to possibly take Bucky out of the office with her eyes, she approached the desk. "I'm sure she's fine and she only did that just so you wouldn't go after her."
"Yeah," Sam continued. "Let's just- let's get you out of here. She'll be back before you know it."
Tony didn't miss the glare Bucky sent his way when he left the office with Sam.
Feeling Natasha's judgmental eyes on him, he looked up at her, leaning back on his seat comfortably. "Do you need anything?"
"What are you hiding?"
"Nothing, except for her location."
"No," Natasha shook her head. "It's obvious you didn't tell us everything. I'm not expecting you to, but I've known you for a long time, Tony. I can see it when you're leaving a crucial part out."
A sigh left Tony's lips.
"She's indeed on a solo mission. A mission that I know absolutely nothing about, and she disabled her own tracker."
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"Are you sure nobody knows you're here?"
"God, Clint, what's with all the secrecy?" you weren't even sure your hushed whisper was heard by Clint, crowded streets of Hong Kong were noisy enough to usher a headache within you. You hadn't seen him in a while, with him retiring again, and God he retired a lot, but after receiving a message with 'emergency, don't tell anybody.' and coordinates, you rushed to his aid rather immediately.
You owed him a lot.
Following him to a small apartment building as he pushed the door open, you looked behind to see if anybody was following, before climbing up the stairs with him. "What's going on?"
"Extraction." he whispered. "Kind of a sensitive one. Tony didn't want anyone involved."
"I really think Laura should lock you up sometimes."
"So do I, kid."
Your time spent in his small hideout apartment was filled with intel and planning. It was supposed to be a very quiet mission, a sensitive one like he mentioned earlier- a swift infiltration to save a former SHIELD agent from where he was held prisoner, just so he could return to his research.
You didn't quite understand why Tony wouldn't want anyone to be involved and to save the agent, but you weren't going to ask. You trusted Clint, sometimes more than you did Tony, and if Clint told you that what he's doing was right, then you'd believe him.
The next day, with both of you suited up, his arrows ready and your secret knives hidden beneath layers of fabric all around your body; the quiet approach to the building went pretty smoothly. He kept telling you to keep your cool and to keep it quiet. This was a stealth op, and made sure to assure you that you were excellent at those.
Except, for all the stealth operations, your partner was Bucky. He was the one who knew exactly what you were going to do without needing you to tell him, he was the one who fought by your side, in so much sync with you that it felt like you two were one mind split to two bodies. You felt safer when he was by your side, calm enough to perform better.
You didn't tell Clint that. You didn't tell him that you felt way too insecure without Bucky by your side to perform well.
He was expecting your help, and you were going to deliver.
Except, things took a turn for the worse far too quickly. You got into the room in which the agent was kept, with Clint following from far behind to keep you safe; and saved the agent from his restraints. Before you could lead him out, though, you heard Clint telling you to stop taking your time because apparently, a swarm of people were coming your way, and he had to hide.
You helped the agent all the way down to the ground from the first floor, through the piping by the outer side of the wall and informed Clint of your current location, before spotting a few men running your way.
Pushing the agent away towards the woods where he could hide and protect himself, you pulled your gun out and managed to down at least two of the five men. You noticed one of them following the agent as the two attacked you; landing a harsh kick by one's neck before sliding out your knife and swinging it at the other's direction, but the distraction that they needed came quickly when through your in-ear, you heard Clint's voice again.
"Shit, abort. Get the hell out of there, get away from the building."
And a loud explosion right to your left followed.
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Natasha was torn.
Tony's words kept replaying themselves on her head as she paced around the room, unable to decide between telling Bucky and keeping it to herself. She didn't know what she would be risking if she told him, but at the same time, you could get yourself in a much bigger situation and a supporting pair of eyes at solo missions were always required.
She couldn't bear the worry and uncertainty anymore.
Pushing the back door that led to the living room open with a loud thud, she found Bucky by the kitchen area, and Sam by the couch, watching the afternoon news. "I need to tell you guys something."
Bucky perked up at that, pulling himself away from his moping state to get back up on his feet, and walk towards the couch where Natasha approached. "She disabled her own tracker. Tony has no idea where she is, or what she's doing."
"Shit, how are we supposed to find her, then?" Sam slowly got up from where he was seated in worry. But before any of them could say anything else, a loud explosion sound snatched their attention and brought it to the screen.
"Earlier this morning, a lab explosion took place in a Hong Kong biochemistry lab, for reasons unknown. Public CCTV footage shows two unidentified individuals breaking into the building only ten minutes before the blast."
"Isn't that-"
"Damn it," Natasha whispered. "God fucking damn it, Barton."
No matter how fast the Quinjet was, Bucky felt like they couldn't get there quick enough. His heart was basically beating through his ribs, brain pumping adrenaline into every single bit of his veins as he watched the jet decrease altitude. The news didn't even provide the number of casualties, and the fact that he wasn't sure if you made it out of there alive or not was eating him alive.
The fact that he didn't get to make things right with you beforehand was outright torture.
The jet landed on a clearing by the woods, pretty close to the remote building in which the explosion took place. Bucky's strut seemed like it was made out of steel, as if nothing in this world could even attempt to stop him as he walked in front, Natasha and Sam following close behind. It had been at least twenty hours since the blast, and if you were dead, you'd be identified, right?
The news of your passing would be all over the world by now, right?
"I know where they might be hiding," Natasha spoke up, a bit breathless from having to catch up with Bucky's fast steps. "Clint has a hideout apartment, not too far from here."
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"Fuck!" your loud cry was enough to land a grimace on Clint's face, as he let out soft shushes, trying his best to wrap your injuries up.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry." he mumbled, taping down the bandage wrapped around your thigh before giving it a slight pat. "Just a contusion. I know it hurts but you could have it much worse."
"I know, but it still hurts, you idiot!"
"And whose fault is that? Not mine!"
Letting your head fall back on the cushion with a thud, you let out a slight groan. "How's the agent?"
"Called somebody to pick him up," he sighed, pulling himself up from the floor to sit next to your laid out figure. "I genuinely didn't know that they had explosives laid out through the building. Some sort of eradication. Must've been big, whatever they were hiding."
"Couldn't really keep it quiet, huh?"
"Unfortunately," he chuckled. "But we saved him, at least. Probably going to get an earful from Tony when he finds out… But you did a good job. Thanks for coming."
"Didn't have anything better to do," a grin made its way to your lips. "Don't even wanna go back, if I'm being honest."
A frown took over his features. "Did something happen?" and he continued, when your only response was a slight nod. "Bucky?"
"That easy to guess, huh?"
"Nothing else has an impact on you," a soft chuckle followed. "It'll be fine. You two- you shouldn't lose each other. Not over anything."
"I don't know if I can make sure of that anymore, Clint."
"Look, I'm saying this from a man's point of view," he repositioned himself on where he was seated, now completely facing you. "And I don't ever want you to think that I'm sexist or something, but, um… We're different. In a bad way- we're not… Complicated like your kind."
"My kind? Okay, now that's-"
"No, shut up, you know what I mean," he laughed. "Every single woman that I had the pleasure of meeting knew what they wanted. Maybe it was a bit rough around the edges, maybe it was just a scaffolding but there was a plan. There was an… expectation of how things are supposed to go, you know?"
A short silence followed. "And because of that scaffolding, you folks don't freak out as much as we do. And when you do, you still make sense. We don't. We freak out over the smallest inconvenience and everything goes shit because we don't know how to restructure our own plans that quickly. We take longer to adapt. Because we're a bit more primitive, does that make sense?"
You smiled at him, earnestly. "That's… vague, but it makes perfect sense. Thanks."
His hand found yours then, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "Don't worry about it."
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That night, Clint woke up to footsteps across the apartment. He was sleeping on the armchair by the side of the bedroom, making sure that you were safe on his bed since you had to take a pill or two to manage the pain and fall asleep quicker.
Quickly getting up to his feet, he grabbed the pistol he placed on your nightstand earlier, slowly pulling the door open- only to find Natasha, with a gun in her hand, seemingly relieved to see Clint.
Clint brought his finger up to his lips, signaling the room as to let her know that you were asleep. "What are you doing here?" he whispered.
"That was a sloppy op, don't you think?" Natasha whispered back, teasing. "Gotta warn you, Barnes will be here in a couple of minutes and he's going to be mad, Clint."
"Let him be," he sighed. "She's-"
Before he could finish his sentence, the front door got pushed open, revealing a worried and seething Bucky and an apologetic Sam following suit, shutting the door slowly after the other. "Where is she?"
"She's in the bedroom-" Clint stepped in front of the door, shutting and guarding it. "She's exhausted. Be quiet."
"Why the fuck is she with you?"
"Hey, not like I kidnapped her, alright?" Clint rolled his eyes, still speaking as quietly as he could. "I needed her help and I couldn't call anybody else. I'm sorry I kept your girlfriend away from you for literally two days, Barnes."
Bucky took a step back, heaving a deep sigh. He was angry, angry at you, angry at Clint, angry at himself… Yet he didn't know where to direct that anger. He didn't know how to calm this feeling down. "Why didn't she tell anybody? Not even Tony- what the hell did you make her do that she felt like she needed to hide from everyone?"
A scoff left Natasha. "Bucky, stop making assumptions."
"No- you know what?" Bucky was getting louder by the second, and nobody in the room had the guts to shush him down. "My girl doesn't hide anything from me, ever. I need to know what was so important that she had to turn her tracker off and you had to lead her into a building full of explosives."
"How the hell was I supposed to know that the lab would explode?!"
"You were supposed to make sure that it's-"
"Bucky?" your frowning, sleepy figure appeared by the door that everyone was too busy watching the argument to notice opening. Bucky's gaze visibly softened when he saw you, tense shoulders relaxing before Clint stepped out of the way and with a few steps, he approached you to pull you into his embrace.
You didn't hug him back at first- instead sending a confused look to the rest, to which Sam shrugged as a response. "Are you okay?"
"No, are you okay?" he asked, pulling away to get a good look at your figure. A few cuts and the bandage by your thigh was visible as you were just wearing one of Clint's old shirts and underwear. "Are you okay?" he asked again, tone more stern this time.
"I'm fine," you pushed his hands off of you. "Why the fuck were you yelling at Clint?"
"Yeah, alright, have that conversation without us," Clint sighed, pushing the two of you into the bedroom gently before offering you a small wave and shutting the door, to give you some privacy.
Bucky sighed before looking at you again, wanting so bad to just cup your cheeks and leave kisses all over your face- but he knew he fucked up, and you were mad. "I was worried about you. You left without a word, and when I heard that your tracker was off-"
"I don't owe anyone any explanation." your tone was harsh. "And I'm sorry if I thought that you wouldn't give a shit, Bucky. You made it pretty obvious that you wanted me to leave you alone."
"I never said that," he ran his fingers through his hair, trying his best to stay calm and work this out- but you were almost as stubborn as him, if not more. "I never- I care about you, alright? You're my girlfriend, and you should've told me where you were going."
You shook your head to both sides in disbelief. "You're not entitled to that."
"Y/N-"
"No, you're seriously not entitled to knowing anything about me. Not when you have the audacity to treat me like I'm nothing more than an absolute stranger, and then to not even make an effort to talk to me for a whole week."
"I freaked out, alright?!" he sighed. "I was fucking terrified because- because of you!"
"How the hell is that my fault?!"
"It's your fault! You're the one who made me fall in love with you!" he was loud, and you got cryptically quiet.
He never dropped the L-word before.
"It's your fucking fault because I can't stop thinking about you, I can't stop worrying about you, I can't stop making everything about you and it's putting everyone in danger!" you were biting back a smile now, as he kept ranting. "Including you! I can't- do you have any idea how hard it is to look at you and not just burst into tears because oh my fucking God, you're the love of my life and-"
You cut him off with a kiss to his lips, your hands cupping his face. He was shocked at first, unable to comprehend the sudden switch from arguing to kissing, but he wasn't going to complain. Wrapping his arms around your body delicately, he deepened the kiss, exhaling softly against your mouth when your fingers massaged the nape of his neck.
"You're such a fucking idiot," you whispered against his lips. "You're like, the dumbest person I've ever met. Your IQ is so low that-"
"Okay, okay. I get it." he chuckled, shaking his head in disbelief. "I'm sorry. I genuinely am. I'm sorry for making you feel like I don't love you- because I do, I love you so much that it's physically painful."
"I thought you were tougher than that, Bucky."
"I'm just a coward, honey." with a shrug, he pulled you closer to his embrace. "I'm just a fucking coward, nothing more. But you know what? Seeing you so angry at me, telling me that I don't deserve to know anything about you- that hurt more. I guess I- I really can't be without you."
"I can't be without you either," you sighed. "I've been so cranky, just ask Clint."
"Oh, I'm still kicking his ass."
"No, Buck," a soft giggle left your lips. "He actually plays a grand part in me forgiving you. And he's one of my favorite people in this whole world, so, I won't hesitate to punch you if you ever yell at him again."
"In that case, I'm thanking him. And kicking his ass in my head."
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performativezippers · 4 months
Text
here's some random writing advice that i've found helpful, in no order, that i reserve the right to add to at any time:
no one says everything they're thinking. in dialogue, less is more. people don't speak in paragraphs, they speak in sentences, especially when they're not telling a story. let the dialogue be brief, and use interiority (thoughts) to show the reader all the things they aren't saying.
use physical cues to help the POV character understand what the non-POV character is thinking/feeling/not saying/lying about. For example, if we're in Jane's POV while Maura is talking, and Maura says "I'm fine," Jane can notice that her eyes are darting around like she's anxious, or she's crossed and uncrossed her arms, almost like she's nervous. there's no need to say MAURA SEEMS NERVOUS, let the reader get it from what Jane's picking up.
let the reader be curious—don't info dump—but don't frustrate them by giving so little that they don't know what's going on. this is a very very fine line sometimes, and betas can be really helpful for pointing it out until you've gotten the feel for it.
Use paragraph breaks, for the love of god.
Only italicize things that really and truly cannot be explained any other way. "What are you doing here?" for example doesn't need any italics. If you can't get the reader to understand what you mean without the italics, then, sure, use them. but SPARINGLY. use body language, interiority, other words, and dialogue tags (shouts, yells, whispers, cries, she says as her voice cracks) to get the reader what they need.
"What are you doing here?" could be "what on earth are you doing here?" (aka, i have no fucking idea why you're here, my dude)
"What are you doing here?" could be "i told you to stay out of this, lucy! what are you doing here?" (aka, lucy you specifically should not be here)
"What are you doing here?" could be "jesus, you scared the shit out of me! I thought you were at the front! what are you doing here?" (aka, i'm not surprised to see you, but i'm surprised to see you HERE what the fuck)
Don't head hop. Know who's POV you're in and STAY IN IT until the chapter break, scene change that's clearly indicated by ***, whatever. if this is challenge, try writing in first person to get in the habit of only knowing what your POV character knows. There is, of course, 3rd person omniscient narration, but it's really fucking hard to pull off and honestly I recommend staying away from it entirely. Most things you'll read are written in first or close 3rd, and that's not an accident.
Let your characters move around in space. let them notice the things around them.
If Kate walks into a room, i'll probably list what she sees in order of importance, unless it's a big reveal. i'll add voice to that so you'll know i did it on purpose.
in order of appearance: "the body lies in the middle of the big, wide room. the ceiling must be twenty feet up, and there are plenty of windows, the way the light catches the falling dust mites looks more like a church than a crime scene."
with reveal/voice: "Kate bursts into the room and immediately skids to a stop. it's too bright, all white walls and high windows. it looks like the kind of room you'd put a WeWork in, or maybe a super expensive soulcycle. normally Kate would be itching for a paint roller and some blueprints, but today she ignores the terrible architectural choices, choosing to focus instead on the dead body congealing in a puddle of dark brown blood in the middle of the floor."
try to have an internal plot/obstacle (alex can't be honest with maggie about their relationship because she hasn't told her that her sister is superhero) and external plot/obstacle (there is a serial killer targeting aliens in national city, and all three women are on his radar). Best practice is for them to intersect and create layered, complex problems (maggie can't understand why alex is so fucking freaked out about this serial killer in the first act; yes, crime is bad, but like, it's their job? why won't alex TALK to her? where does she keep running off to in secret? does alex even actually want to be with her??)
Everything should have: tension, stakes, obstacles. Try not to make all of that hinge on a misunderstanding or one person being too chicken to confess their feelings. that gets boring and frustrating for the reader.
If you need to make a calendar, make one. If you need a cast list, write one. keep yourself on track.
introduce new original characters slowly. give them one name (first and last is usually not necessary at the start). give us one or two things to remember about them. Jenna is the producer of the tv show. Jenna is mean. the next time she comes back, call her "jenna the producer." then the next time you can hint to her role, like "jenna has her big clipboard and is shouting at everyone to get the fucking cameras ready." if jenna doesn't come back again, don't name her. be kind to your readers who forget things, and help them out by limiting the named cast to people who need to be named. if they don't show up until halfway through, don't introduce them until halfway through. for fanfic, obviously this is easier because we know everyone, but still, please. only have the people in the scene who need to be there. huge scenes with 5-8+ characters present are a MESS.
if your character has two best friends who fill the same role, cut one. streamline so i as the reader have less to keep track of.
banter can be fun to write, but dialogue without movement, choreography, internal thoughts, lies, physical cues, and plot movement gets really boring to read. if a scene is skippable, ask yourself what would make it essential, and add that.
every conversation should do at least two things. things can be:
move the plot forward
deepen, change, or complexify an existing relationship
create tension (plot, romance, etc)
explore stakes
attempt to get over the obstacle
FOR EXAMPLE: Helena and Myka almost kissing when they shouldn't because Helena is with Some Dude? yes! that's romantic tension and attempting to get over the obstacle (some dude). Myka rambling to claudia about almost kissing helena for 3 pages: no! That does nothing on this list. the event already happened, and a long debrief about it isn't interesting to the reader. Let Myka ruminate while she's doing one of the other things. and by ruminate, i mean KEEP A LIGHT TOUCH HERE, ruminating is very very easy to make boring and maudlin. trust your reader; be subtle about it.
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vickyvicarious · 1 month
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just thought about how the boss' description just tells Dracula how easily abused Jonathan will be: discreet. silent. shall take your instructions in all matters.
and jonathan beamed about it
Hang on, I actually wrote an analysis of what Dracula would take from that letter last year, let me grab it. Okay, here it is.
If you read that, then... yeah I agree, Dracula absolutely is delighted at this letter. He definitely takes it in a very "this man will be great fun to toy with" way.
But that's not what Mr. Hawkins meant writing it, or what Jonathan sees reading it. In fact, Dracula's the one reading much more into it than the intended message, which is a lot of praise.
“I must regret that an attack of gout, from which malady I am a constant sufferer, forbids absolutely any travelling on my part for some time to come; but I am happy to say I can send a sufficient substitute, one in whom I have every possible confidence. He is a young man, full of energy and talent in his own way, and of a very faithful disposition. He is discreet and silent, and has grown into manhood in my service. He shall be ready to attend on you when you will during his stay, and shall take your instructions in all matters.”
It seems that Mr. Hawkins was originally supposed to come on this trip, but for health reasons he's been forced to delegate. Now, we the readers know that Jonathan is a brand-new solicitor thanks to his thoughts outside the castle. Mr. Hawkins obviously knows that too. So this rich foreign noble isn't getting the experienced lawyer he expected, but someone who basically just graduated. You don't want to disappoint the guy paying your salary, so he's got to manage this situation. He may well have told Dracula some time ago about the switch, but this is Jonathan's official letter of introduction, so it's time to pull out all the stops.
He says, this guy is great at his job and I trust him completely. I admit, he's clearly very young (aside: babyface Jonathan confirmed), but I've known him for a while, personally trained him, and can definitely vouch for him. Solicitors may be privy to lots of information, but he isn't going to break your confidence, I promise. He's a hard worker and will be able to help you with whatever you need, so don't worry about me not being there. Even if it's not exactly what we've discussed prior to now, he'll be able to help you with other legal matters too, just as I would have if my health allowed me to come. Don't fire us, give him a shot.
Neither Mr. Hawkins nor Jonathan are looking at this paragraph for anything outside of a professional interpretation, and there's a certain amount of polite exaggeration going on too probably. Discreet is a virtue for a lawyer. When he says all matters it's assumed that means legal matters. And so on.
Is it open to sinister interpretation? Oh, hell yes. But that's not what Mr. Hawkins (talking up his replacement to a client) meant, or what Jonathan (my boss believes in me and has entrusted me with a great opportunity, I've got to prove him right by doing a great job here) hears.
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weaselle · 26 days
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What'd your boss do, if you don't mind?
oh dear. trap card activated
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ok. ok. There is a lot more behind me reaching the end of my rope. But the final straw was this:
I have next week off (my first week off in 3 years). She said she needed a report. She explicitly told me the reason she needed the report was so she could cover my shifts while i am off, citing problems covering when one of our clients gave me covid a month ago.
She said she needed to know what order I was doing pick ups and drop offs, and she needed to know procedures for the new clients (about half of our clients are new enough that she has never worked directly with them).
She gave the specific example of not knowing to go to the side door of one client's house instead of the front door. She said she also needed to know who had timing expectations, saying when she covered for me clients were "blowing up her phone" because she didn't know when clients expected me and which clients i typically texted an arrival time, again giving a specific example of "like the way you text [client she is familiar with] from the bottom of the hill on your way to her house"
I clarified by using two more examples "oh like how I always let [client's dog] stop to pee right before putting him back in the house, and how I always text [other client] when i am 15 minutes from her house?" and she confirmed that was the information she was asking for. She said to just write it down at each house along my route as i worked each day of the week.
At the end of Monday I told her writing all that down was making me late to client's houses, so i was just going to write it all up on the weekend. I also pointed out that since i was writing so much of it down anyway, i might as well write it not just good enough for her, but complete enough that any other employee could cover a shift of mine if needed. She agreed.
Since i was volunteering to do more than was strictly asked, and since i have been trying to showcase how i go above and beyond because she promised to make me a manager but hasn't, i wrote up this report in my own time, unpaid, over the weekend.
Now I only wrote a short paragraph for each client. But I service about 20 clients each day. Many of those clients are repeat clients throughout the week, so there was a fair amount of copy/pasting, but it was still a hell of a report to write up.
Because it was so long, I spent extra time making it super organized and easy to read, formatted so it's not just a wall of text, easy to skip over parts and find specific information as needed.
I turned in to her a 26 page 14,000 word document, which contains the necessary information for any employee to cover my specific client routes. It took me 7 hours.
Her response?
"This isn't what i asked for"
BUT IT IS EXACTLY WHAT SHE ASKED FOR.
I confirmed that it was what she asked for. It IS a little more detailed than she strictly asked for, but I TOLD her I would be doing that and she spent four days knowing I was preparing to do that and she didn't say a thing about not doing that.
So I'm like "well, what do you need that's not in there?"
And she says "i need to know the exact order you are doing your route, not just pick ups, but slotting the drop offs in-between the pickups too"
So i'm like "that is exactly how that report is written"
And she says "I need to know the times clients expect you to be picking up and dropping off, and when you are doing the walks and when you are taking breaks"
And i go "every client that has a timing expectation is noted in that report, my break times and the walk times are also included."
And she says "it's more information than i need, I need just the stuff i personally need, like the cliffs notes version of your report"
And i'm like "the cliffs notes version, the lines containing the specific information you personally need, are done in bold so you can easily skim through and find it."
and after going around and around like this, it finally comes out that what she ACTUALLY wants is a minute to minute log of how i am spending my day because she's paying me about 6 hours a week of overtime and she's mad about it.
Which i'm happy to provide a log of my time on shift, but if she wants to know why there's overtime, i can tell her in 2 minutes instead of wasting my time on this logging project, IN FACT I DID TELL HER WHY THERE WAS OVERTIME, ONCE WHEN CHANGES TO THE SCHEDULE MADE IT SEEM LIKELY, AND AGAIN TWO WEEKS LATER CONFIRMING THAT WAS WHAT HAD HAPPENED
But really it boils down to me bending over backwards to help her grow her business while she has failed to make good on every single promise she's made me.
Like, I was her only employee for two years and she promised she would make me a manager (i'm interested in a promotion for both the monetary compensation and the job title for résumé reasons) and i worked my ass off to build up the client base so we could hire two more employees and make that happen...
but she did not have me sit in on the interviews, she did not have me shadow her doing the intake process, nothing. She clearly either does not intend on making me a manager or doesn't know how.
i tend to gravitate to small, owner operated businesses, partially because i have a real soft spot for being truly needed, and partially because it's a way to study the dos and don'ts of how to open and run my own business one day.
I understand she is a small business with small business problems, and i have been very patient because she's a single mom with a lot going on in her personal life.
But the thing about me is, while I am very very patient and very very loyal... i need a bare minimum of return on that to replenish it. Tell me what a great job i'm doing every now and then, show appreciation for what i do, listen to me when i say things, etc, and if you NEVER do any of that, my vast reserves of patience and loyalty will dry up.
And once you use up my patience and loyalty? That's it. It's gone.
And I, well, i have been all used up.
also she pays me like half what she should, which i was letting slide because i was going to get a big raise with my promotion to manager, but that is looking like it will never happen, so ... fuuuuuuck this shit i'm out
"so i can open and run my own business one day" has arrived
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whackacole3 · 9 months
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do you have any tips for new writers? you write fast and your fics are pretty damn good so i thought it would be good to ask you!
omg yeah, i can try! here’s a few things that come to mind. this stuff is mainly for writing fanfictions, but i guess it can apply to books as well?
reminder this is just what i suggest, if you think differently that’s okay! every writer is different.
and if anyone has any more suggestions, feel free to either comment and/or reblog with your suggestions.
(also idk what speed has to do with anything but that just comes with practice and motivation 😭)
1.) stop caring and stop worrying. i know this might sound counterintuitive but it's really not when you look deep into it. once you sit down and decide to just have fun is when your best work comes out, at least for me. writing is supposed to be fun, you’re supposed to enjoy it. if you find yourself stressed and dreading writing you’re doing it wrong. remember to take breaks if you need it to refresh yourself. writing is extremely hard, but i believe in you. just try to have fun!
2.) find more ways to come up with ideas. i think most people would agree that prompts are hard and many people don’t know how to come up with them. personally, i use quotes. if you know anything about me, quote fics are my fucking life, man! you can use lyrics from songs, a funny moment that happened in your life, a saying your parent always told you while growing up, literally anything! go wild.
3.) find your unique style. when it comes to writing, everyone has a style just like when it comes to any other art form. i write in a more casual, organic style because that’s what comes naturally to me. don’t try to mimic other’s styles because you think yours isn’t “good enough” or something of the sort. you can take inspiration, but don’t forget to be true to yourself and your own style.
4.) write how you want. piggy backing off the last one, don’t let anyone tell you something is “improper” or whatever. if you think adding a million commas best suits your story, then so be it! i use dashes, ellipses, and semi-colons like my life depends on it. it’s an important part of how i write and that’s that’s okay.
5.) make sure to commit to it. while it is important to not push yourself too hard and to take breaks if you need it, don’t forget to commit to it. try and write everyday. whether it be only a paragraph or the entire story in one go, every little bit helps. it gets you into the groove, basically! i’ve heard some people say that 250 words should be your daily minimum, but personally mine is 100. so it’s whatever works for you.
6.) don’t expect it to be easy. writing is hard, that’s just the case. you are making up your own stories (with already set in characters or not) and coming up with things is hard! it’s going to get confusing at points, it’s going to get frustrating, it’s going to make you want quit sometimes. this will happen especially if you write longer form content.
7.) don’t give up and always believe in yourself. feeding off of the last one, no matter how hard it is, don’t ever give up. take breaks for however long you need, but never give up. you can do this. and if no one else believes in you, believe in yourself. you are what matters.
8.) don’t forget to edit and revise. you don’t exactly need to go over your work once you finish, but it’s a very good practice. if look through it at least once or twice: you’ll find mistakes that you maybe didn’t notice; you’ll notice scenes/sections that you can elongate to better serve the purpose/narrative; you could find things don’t matter and can be removed; and so much more. you don’t need to go crazy over it, but it’s definitely something you should do.
9.) don’t forget/be scared to ask for help. everyone needs help from time to time, even the best authors/writers need guidance from others. ask your friends to help with a scene/part or two if you need it, if they’re willing ask them to edit/beta for you, and so forth. you’ll never get anywhere without the help of others, you can’t do this on your own and that’s okay. you might want to be independent and get there by yourself, but that will be ten times harder than if you just ask for a little bit of help.
10.) write for you and nobody else. i would say this is probably the most important one. don’t worry about what others think, story telling is for you! yes, you might share it with others (directly or by posting it online) but at the end of the day, it’s for your enjoyment and no one else’s. if you want to write an OC and canon character, do it! doesn’t matter if no one cares about your OC other than you. YOU ARE WHAT IS IMPORTANT!!!
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rose-riot-johnson · 6 months
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Hi my Tumblr Peeps😃 I have been thinking about this for a while and I decided to write a fanfic pertaining a certain character from The Seven Deadly Sins... So, I figured why not try writing a fanfic about Ban, as the staring character🤔💡😃👍 It's honestly not because of a fanfic or 2 of the fanfics pertaining Ban I have rebloged, though I am really inspired to actually write a fanfic about him, when I did (or when I am), however the real reason for writing about him is actually because I'm seeing why people like Ban and The Seven Deadly Sins anime😁👍
*This fanfic contains 1 or more long paragraphs😅
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🍓I Loved You, Eversince The First Time I Had Ever Laid Eyes On You🍓(Ban x Female Reader)
Genres: Angst, Comfort, Smut (And sex), and Possible Mutual Confession (Warning +18⚠️: Alcohol Use, Language, Sexual comments, Nudity, mentions of virginity loss, praise kink, and sexual contact (including oral sex (both recieving), ass grabbing, nipple pulling, and vaginal penitration))
When Ban first met you, you were one of the customers of the Boar Hat tavern. He did have a crush on you, however you had a boyfriend, so ofcourse he's not going to overstep your relationship with (character or boyfriend or random name of reader's choice). While your boyfriend at the time seemed nice, considering that he always goes with you, whenever you go there, however Ban couldn't help that something felt off about the boyfriend you were with.
One night when the other sins including, Meliodas went to rest, Ban was the only one who stayed up and filled in for Meliodas, to see, if Boar Hat will have any customers for that night. The next thing that happened was that you showed up, as he assumes you're one of the customers, however the boyfriend you were with never came with you, which made Ban wonder why he didn't come with you, as he always did. Ban was confused as he then said, "I'm surprised you came without this boyfriend of yours. Did something happen for him to be unable to come or do you prefer not to talk about it?".
As Ban decided to let you have, as much as (creamy alcoholic beverage of reader's choice), you feel you needed to have for free, since you come here alot and you asked him for that particular alcoholic beverage you always ordered at Boar Hat, you answered, "Well Ban, between you and me... (character or boyfriend or random name of reader's choice) has been accusing me of cheating on him... You have to believe me when I tell you this... I never cheated on him once... He had always been jealous, I guess... This is why he was going everywhere I went... I did repressed and was deep down in denial that I had a crush on youand despite this, I have never flirted with anyone, especially you, Ban... Unfortunately he caught onthat I've been blushing everytime he mentions about you, even tough he complains that you're in the Boar Hat tavern everytime he and I come there and he just instantly accuses me of cheating on him for you... He thinks having a crush on someone and cheating are the exact same thing... I mean I barely looked at anyone else except him, so I know that I didn't even flirt with anyone else and he still accuses me of the cheating I never committed... It's also unfortunate that earlier this morning, I woke up and I was looking for him, then I found a note saying that I should find another place to live and other horrible stuff he wrote, especially wanting to break up with me, hinting that he wants me to leave the place he and I were living in together and never comeback or else...", as you were trying to hold your emotions in, while drinking your favorite creamy alcoholic beverage. Ban then asked, "Did you take the note with you, if you don't mind me asking, (Female Reader Name)?". You nodded your head, yes before handing the note to him.
While Ban was reading the break up note (character or boyfriend or random name of reader's choice) wrote to you, he has noticed that you were right when you told him that (character or boyfriend or random name), who is now your ex has written horrible stuff and it was much worser than he thought. Ban began to notice that your now ex boyfriend wrote was not only written out of jealousy, however it was also written out of dissing you, especially calling you nasty names in the note and Ban also notices that your now ex has written on how you will never find anyone better than him and he will find someone much better than you even in bed. This has really not only shocked Ban badly, however he felt sad for you, while pissed off for what (character or boyfriend or random name) has written in the note about you.
Ban then decided to invite you to camp out with him in a forest for the rest of the night, since he notices that you're trying to hide the fact your self confidence has been hurt, which you accepted his invite, so he decided to close up Boar Hat for the rest of the night, so he help you with your confidence that your now ex had tooken from you possibly the whole time you were with him (and the break up note made your confidence even worse). Once the both of you picked out a spot in a forest to camp in, he asked, "Why did this guy wrote in the note that you will never find anyone better than him and why the fuck did he write that he will find someone in bed better than you? Don't you think that there's something wrong with him and not you?".
You had to think for a minute about Ban's questions before answering, "I think it's because maybe it's true, considering, everyone I have dated has left me due to me being myself, so I thought trying to change for my now ex would help the relationship I did have with him, however nothing can or ever will change the fact that I'm unlovable... I thought forcing myself to have it with him would make him happier... It's just that I unfortunately had horrible luck at love... I guess whatever he says is true...". Ban was shocked to hear your answer, as he then replied, "I see... Your self-confidence is worse than I thought... Regardless if he was aware of your abandonment issues or not, he is basically a scumbag for everything he has been doing to you... I get you cared for him and all, however I just knew something was off about him, since the first time meeting you and he's wrong for every horrible thing he did and said to you... You're also wrong on something... You're not unlovable... If you don't believe me, I can prove it to you... Forcing yourself to do anything you don't want, especially sexual, is not going to help your well-being... I'm telling you this, because I loved you, eversince the first time I had ever laid eyes on you... I just never said anything earlier, considering I have respect for the relationship you had with him and I definitely have respect for you... Tonight is the night of me giving you any form of intimacy you want... It doesn't have to be sexual, if you don't want... It can be cuddling and other forms of intimacy... However if you want to go sexual then I can do that, only IF you want to...", before he took off his jacket, becoming shirtless. "Well, Ban... I wish I did lose my virginity to you, instead my now ex, honestly... You definitely have alot of respect for me and stuff... You may have a point... I get I maybe rushing things with you, however you are always kind to me, which I always appreciate it...", you replied back before taking your clothes off.
After you took your clothes completely off, Ban blushed and smiled, trying to hide his smile, as he said, "Are you one hundred percent sure you want to have sex with me? I just wanted to makesure before we do this, because you did mention forcing yourself with your now ex when you were with him and as much as I like to have sex with you, I don't want you to force yourself just because of me...". You answered, "I'm sure, Ban... I'd be lying if I told you I wasn't sure... I honestly felt ready... It's just I only have been ready for you...". Once Ban took the hint that you're certain about it, he letted you pull his pants down, as you began to notice his bare hard cock.
The next thing that happened was Ban laid down for you to get on top of him and suck on his cock. Meanwhile he was holding your ass right before eating out your pussy. He knew he would get his enjoyment out of getting his cock sucked on by you and eating your pussy, however he was really surprised to be spoiled and spoiling you, especially like this. After he got done eating your pussy Ban whisperered to you in groans and praised, "I definitely don't know what your ex sees in writing negative stuff about you in the note he wrote for you... You're doing amazing job with sucking on my cock and eating your pussy makes me feel like I'm in heaven... Your ex seriously doesn't know what he's talking about...". Once you got done sucking on his dick, he continued, "If you want, I'm willing to let you ride on this hard cock of mine, that you did an amazing job sucking on, my princess...".
You knew you wanted to try riding on Ban's cock, despite of what your now ex has written about you in the note he has written for you. When you finally start riding on Ban's hard cock, your pussy also began to tighten around his cock. The both of you groaned from the feeling of his cock inside of your pussy. As he was moving his hands from your assto your sides, then your tits, he looked into your eyes, trying to hold his moans (like you're trying to hold your moans), as he cooed and praised, "You're doing amazing riding on my dick, (Female Reader Name)... Your pussy is definitely taking my cock well... Your whole body is nice, just like you in general...". The both of you gave eachother sloppy kisses (trying to quiet down eachother's moans), while he was pulling on your nipples, as you continue to ride on his cock.
After you cummed around Ban's cock and he emptied himself inside of your pussy, you began to lay on top of him and luckily for the both of you, he brought a blanket with him, which that same blanket he brought with him, he had that blanket laying next to both you and him, so he would be able to cover both you and himself up with that blanket. Once he wraps both of his arms around you, he whispered, "We both know I enjoyed what we were doing together... However, did you enjoyed everything we were doing together, my sweet angel?". You smiled at him and replied, "Ofcourse I did, Ban... It's just I also enjoyed your company, honestly...". Ban then smiled at you back, as he replied back, "I enjoy your company too, my strawberry cupcake...", proceeded to hold you tighter before the both of you fell asleep, while snuggling for the rest of the night. After that night the both of you had an official relationship together, since then...
🍓The End🍓
I hope you enjoyed this fanfic my Tumblr Peeps😁👍Anyways my Tumblr Peeps... I did plan on writing a smut fanfic for Ban with writing this fanfic, however I decided to take this Ban smut I have written in a (somewhat if not a completely) different approach, so if there are any errors in grammar or anything else in the fanfic or other parts of this post this fanfic is in, it's more of figuring out ways to write this particular fanfic about Ban😅 I honestly have been secretly keen on him for a while, however recently in my personal life, me being keen on him was no longer a secret, and I haven't talked about my husby as often as I used to in my posts on Tumblr, however he was the 1st person to catch on that I was trying repress the fact I was keen on him, which my husby found cute that Ban is 1 of the characters I'm a fan of, needless to say😅😃👍I just really wanted to give writing a fanfic about Ban, a try😃👍Anyways my Tumblr Peeps, I hope this fanfic makes your day and/or night🌞☀️🌝🌕
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give-soup-please · 2 years
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Reader finding Narrator’s romantic writings about them
Your place has gotten pretty disorganized recently, and it hasn’t been great for your mental health. You decide you need to tidy up and get rid of some things. 
The narrator shrugs his shoulders at this. Of course, he wants you to be in a good space mentally, but mess doesn’t really bother him that much.
Parts of the office were cluttered, and if he really gets overwhelmed, he can always pop out of the physical plane of existence and just be a voice. But if it makes you happy to clean, he’s not going to protest.
You do a few loads of laundry, take the trash out, and begin organizing some papers the narrator left around. You ask him permission before doing this, and he waves you off, saying that those were old projects and that he didn’t care what happened to them.
Well, you found something you hadn’t really anticipated. You’re leaning against his desk, trying to keep a neutral face while you read.
It’s… detailed romantic descriptions. About you and him. How soft he imagines your skin to be, how tenderly you look at him when the lovelight is in your eyes, his strong and firm arms wrapping around you, passionate kisses and declarations of affection. Holy-
You keep reading. Chapters of undying love, pages of yearning, paragraphs dedicated to how soft your lips are- You’re becoming more flustered and giddy by the second. The narrator walks back in.
“Ah, I see you’re taking a break. Found anything inter-” He stares at you with wide eyes. Your expression- You’re looking up at him and grinning shyly. Your face is flushed, and you’re giggling. What on earth?
“Ahem. Yes, I know my writing is excellent, but that’s a new reaction. What did you-”
He remembers what was in the pile of papers now. He had forgotten- He’s always had slight memory problems- 
He rushes forwards and snatches the pages from your hands. “That’s enough of that, thank you. I- I need to-” His face is burning. Oh, the humiliation, and the inevitable rejection-  “I don’t know how these papers got in here, I- I’ve never seen this writing before in my life.”
You try very hard to not laugh, knowing that he’s not in a position to take it well. His writing style was very iconic. No one could write like he did, let alone break into your home and leave the pages around. It was the most bald faced lie he’s ever told you. 
“But- I didn’t get to the ending!” You whine, grinning. “Do we make it as a couple, or does the evil Lord Dred-ful keep us apart? Come on man, don’t leave me in suspense. It’s fantastic work, some of your best.”
He’s caught in between his ego and his embarrassment. He blusters and stumbles through a mishmash of sentences. “I- you- it’s, well- The thing is-”
You continue to tease him. “Now if my literature analysis skills are any good, I’d say you like me. More than like me, if your reaction is anything to go by. Tell me, are you just as passionate a man as you are a writer? Maybe we should find out~”
His stuttering and stumbling gets worse. You’re actively flirting with him instead of being disgusted or horrified, so he supposes it’s a victory. “I-I-I-I-”
You finally take pity on him. “I feel the same way. I love you, narrator. Without reservation or hesitation.” You’re quoting him, writing your character. It’s an odd feeling. “For real though, do you want to try and make a romantic relationship work? I’m very willing, but if you’re hesitating, we can just remain friends. No pres-”
He pulls you into a kiss. You hum delightedly and kiss him back. You pull away after a few minutes, both panting.
“...So. How’d your writing compare to the real thing?” You ask.
“...” 
“...”
“...”
“...Your lips are more wonderful than I wrote them to be.” Woah, now that was high praise. Not only not taking the opportunity to boast, but to make you feel good about yourself?
You drag him in for another dozen kisses. You resurface again, the both of you completely love drunk.
“Your writing is going to improve with how much hands-on experience I’m planning on giving you.”  
You’ve never seen him so happy. 
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misguidedandperplexed · 6 months
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Questions about fanfiction that I need everyone else's opinion on, apparently (part 2)
Head-hopping (also called head-jumping) refers to when the writer jumps between different viewpoints (or POVs) in middle of a scene, i.e. the writer includes thoughts, feelings, and references to lived experiences for more than one character in a scene. The perspective change can occur between paragraphs, sentences, and sometimes even within the same sentence.
It's different from a POV jump in a dual- or multi-POV story in that there's no indication of the jump (i.e. section break or new chapter), and there's sometimes more than one jump — to a third/+ character or back to a previous character's POV.
It's also different from Third Person Omniscient in that there isn't a separate omniscient narrator who sees and knows all (e.g. the narrator in the Good Omens novel). In Third Person Omniscient, the whole story is written from the narrator's perspective, using their 'voice' throughout all the narration, whereas in head-hopping the story is told from the perspective of two/+ characters, using each of their 'voices' during the parts being told from their perspective.
Some readers find head-hopping jarring because it requires them to resituate themselves in the different characters' perspectives each time there's a switch, and may additionally confuse them if references to other characters aren't consistent (e.g. writing "his head office" twice in one sentence and referring to the two different head offices of two different characters).
An example of head-hopping:
Crowley slips his sunglasses back on. He usually takes them off as soon as he enters the bookshop, but their discussion is making him far too uncomfortable and vulnerable to even consider meeting Aziraphale's eyes. Aziraphale hesitates before asking his next question, hopes that he's not pushing the matter too far, hopes that Crowley won't stomp out with some silly excuse instead of considering what he's asking. He rather enjoys spending time with Crowley and doesn't want this to come between them.
(sorry if it's poorly written/OOC, I wrote this on the spot because I didn't want to use any published fics as an example) (if you're not a fan of Good Omens, you have my apology for using it as an example) (if you are a fan, there are no spoilers; it doesn't refer to any actual conversation/event in canon)
If I've written the example in a way that doesn't illustrate the difference well enough, here are a few articles that discuss head-hopping, with more examples: link, link, link.
I personally don't like head-hopping. I'm probably at a 'dislike' but have in the past stopped reading fics if the hopping got too confusing or frustrating.
If you specifically do or don't like head-hopping, I'd love to hear why!
Please reblog for greater reach and more opinions!
Part 1 (includes reblogs with additional helpful info from @oliversrarebooks)
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Underrated scenes from each ss book
These aren't all scenes and I think the flf section just turned into a highlight reel of things i love about flf but here.
TVD
The scene where Roma picks up tiny Alisa because she was climbing inside of his walls and she's like hey don't rip my shirt it's new :( when her shirt his very obviously extremely old.
Not a scene but just the fact that the White Flower's used to have a golden retriever named Tsarina.
Idk if it's underrated exactly but that scene where Rosalind waits for Juliette in her room for three hours to tell her about the monster attack hits me like a truck every time I remember it.
"What is a Montague? It sounds Italian."
The scene where Benedikt holds Tyler at gunpoint after he threatens Marshall because he knows Marshall wouldn't have had the impulse control to not shoot
Roma beating the shit out of Dimitri
Celia coming up with her fake backstory for a Communist meeting and saying, "My mother is dead. My father is dead to me."
Juliette calling Roma a "wet blanket"
Juliette taking responsibility for Celia when she accidentally knocked Amethyst out
OVE
Juliette Cai says healthcare for all
Alisa being mad at Roma because he hasn't taught her how to catch a knife
Marshall styling Juliette's hair
Juliette making fun of newsboy cap guy
The Marshall flashback to when he met Benedikt
Roma and Juliette getting tailed by the the French White Flower guy who ends up being one of the monsters and Roma saying idk maybe he thinks I'm hotter than you when Juliette asks him why the guy looks like he wants to kill Roma
Benedikt knocking Roma out before trying to kill Juliette because holy shit
When Alisa realizes that Roma agreed to a duel to get her back
When Rosalind had Roma at gunpoint
"I would rather the two of you not burn the world down each time you choose each other."
The paragraphs where Celia starts really being Celia are just so,,,
Somehow I forgot that Alisa was already officially a Communist spy in the OVE epilogue?
fhh spoilers
FLF
Celia forcing Rosalind out of bed to go to Lourens when she wanted to die
Orion calling Dao Feng "Old Man"
Rosalind immediately making tranquilizers right when Orion moves in because she doesn't want to put up with his shit
Silas writing and publishing a fucking op-ed at 14 immediately after getting home from London (iconic)
The implication that Silas has tried to confess to Phoebe before which I call bullshit on.
Not a scene but when Orion shows back up in the morning before their first day at Seagreen, I am convinced that the red stuff on his neck was blood not lipstick.
I NEED TO KNOW IF JIEMIN'S CROSS WAS A SIGN OF ALLEGIANCE TO PRIEST?????
"Who's stealing Silas from you? You're the notorious boyfriend stealer not me." because what exactly are we implying help-
Rosalind remembering hearing Silas's parents brag about him
Phoebe "spying" on Seagreen while she has Silas wait in the car
Lao Lao instantly adopting Orion
I think a lot of the olivercelia stuff in flf is a bit underrated because a lot of us were too busy being haters for a while but the necklace knife scene!
"My little ego can always stand being snapped at by you, sweetheart."
Oliver being really really freaked out in the warehouse hit different now that we have more context ughhhh
Orion thinking that his dad might have done something to his mom. What the fuck. And also being in that house with them alone for years jesus christ
Alisa covering her walls in drawings from Benedikt
Rosalind killing Zilin
Silas taking on Orion's assignments when his headaches were really bad
The fact that Lord and Lady Hong probably knew that Oliver was onto something when Orion told Lord Hong about Oliver breaking in
The cards that Zilin had in his pocket were a spade and a diamond (spade = aroace and diamond = demi)
Rosalind and Orion's argument after the Peach Lily Palace incident
Celia being like stfu Oliver (i like telling him what to do. teehee. aNYWAY)
Ik the nation over everything quote gets talked about a lot but I think people seem to forget how pissed Celia was after he said that. Because "You're so damn selfish. Have you ever stopped to consider that I value your life just as much? If you want to protect me, don't you think that I want to protect you, too?" And then the way that Oliver is absolutely baffled by this. Ack.
Rosalind flinching when Orion pretended to kiss her forehead towards the start of flf vs her casually noting it when he actually kissed her temple midway through flf
Alisa casually having Russian classic literature at her desk despite the fact that she probably stopped receiving formal school at about 13. Slay queen.
The domestic spat. I don't think we've talked about it in a bit I'm so disappointed in us.
Alisa seeing Rosalind and Dimitri together and never saying anything about it
Silas immediately hanging up when Lord Hong picked up when he was trying to call Phoebe
Also who were Gray and Archer??? I thought they were going to be important but oh well
"She doesn't bite." "Yes, I do." like geez ok Rosalind thank you for sharing
"Phoebe walked a small circle around the hospital corridor. Silas, his eyes tracking her absently, stood with his chin propped in one palm." Yeah ok.
Then the scene after Orion sees Rosalind's scars where they're both lying on her bed together and talk for a little bit. I don't know if it's underrated exactly, but I have a very clear image of it in my mind and it is very parallely and nice I like this scene
Alisa drinking orange juice out of a coffee mug. Why? Because.
Tiny detail but Orion telling Phoebe to stop answering the phone in English because he's afraid of gossip
Phoebe immediately going DO I GET TO SEDUCE PRETTY WOMAN???? when Orion tells her he needs her help and him being absolutely exhausted by her
"You warn me for control." "I don't need your warning." I want to kiss Rosalind on the mouth.
Ok sorry but I do not interpret the scene where Orion steals the Frenchwoman's necklace as him flirting with her I think he just put on a really exaggerated twink voice because it's funnier that way
Silas knocking out a guard by holding a cloth with sedatives to his face when he and Phoebe broke Alisa out of jail.
Also just Silas trying to signal to Alisa that he's totally definitely a double agent in the process of betraying everyone because Alisa knows that he's aligned with the Communists somehow while Phoebe is Priest is so insane.
Silas fixing Phoebe's hair then Phoebe noticing that he shifted maybe half and inch away from her going hmm no that's not allowed and shifting closer to him. Especially since there's not very much emotion in her internal monologue in flf since you're not really getting her pov you're just getting a front.
"Are you keeping any other secrets from me, Janie Mead?" "One. But I don't want to tell you yet."
Orion faking a nosebleed
"His proximity was supposed to be some sort of tactic to make her flustered, she guessed, but she was only concentrating on the fact that Orion had missed a sport right by his jaw." Rosalind you absolute genius (I am so obsessed with her)
Phoebe entering Silas's house then immediately going hihihihihihi pay attention to meeeeeeeeeee without telling him that she was planning on coming over
Probably not underrated but. "Phoebe's scowl was immediate, taken aback as to who was in his bedroom, but she realized seconds later that the voice was too grainy and distant to be a visitor." Just something about Phoebe not recognizing it as her own voice and being jealous of a part of herself that she doesn't really recognize as herself is just. so. ahhhh.
aDmIrAtIoN
Not underrated but. The scene where Rosalind is like. Orion put his head on my lap to annoy me. His hair looks dumb. I am going to yoink it. To bother him. Then just. Starts playing with his hair.
A random guy selling flowers seeing a boy and a girl in a car together and thinking ah yes. customers. then fearing for his life and running away after watching phoebe yoink Silas out of his car
Phoebe conning Silas into thinking she wanted him to drive her around so she could observe architecture. Damn he is easy to trick
"'Can't I convince you to partake in a different outing instead?' Silas pleaded. 'I'll buy you cake. Or pastries? You like pastries.' 'No! We have to do this.' Phoebe separated her clasped hands, clutching at her skirts instead. 'Do you want to watch me beg?' 'pHOEBE-' 'So help me, I'll get on my knees right in the middle of the street, and then you will have to answer for my virtue-' 'Fine, fine,' Silas hurried to say, unable to withstand her theatrics. There were two red blots deepening on his cheeks." .......................ok.
Alisa purposely freaking Silas out by telling him that he has to handle the explosives. Then they end up being firecrackers she bought from a middle schooler.
Phoebe making the 🥺🥺🥺 face and Silas covering her eyes
Alisa faking a middle aged man voice
Rosalind looking at Orion and being like hmm he's really pretty it kind of looks like he's wearing mascara. Anyway.
To be continued because I'm hitting the word limit oops
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