Stratford Handoff
Simon is tasked with bringing Markus the uniform he needed during the Stratford Tower raid. They overlooked the option of hiding the uniform with the help of the ceiling tiles, so Simon stands in a closed stall and awaits Markus' tap at the door, a neatly-folded uniform in his hands.
2.5k words, chapter one of a three chapter SimonxMarkus angst/hurt-comfort/R18 fic. Nothing R18 happens in this chapter, just a bit of kissing and making out. Angst will be next chapter, then hurt-comfort into R18 for the last. Will be posted to AO3 upon completion.
The plan made perfect sense, and while carrying it out had been no easy task for Simon, he did appreciate knowing how much Markus trusted him. Markus blending in as a working android was such an integral part of the plan and the uniform pristinely folded in Simon's hands hadn't wound up there by pure chance.
Part of Simon believed that he was seen as expendable by Markus--that he had seen merit in North and Josh and was worried about putting their lives in danger for the plan, while it might be worth it for Simon's life to be lost for their cause. Of course he tried not to heed the dark whispers, but they were there nonetheless. Simon's eyes darted to the stall door handle in front of him at the sound of the main door opening, but was able to relax when he heard another stall open and close. He shifted his weight and begged his hands not to wrinkle the uniform as he gripped it, closing his eyes and pushing his dark whispers and his anxieties out of his head for a few brief moments of respite: standby.
Simon was quick to move when he heard the gentle rhythmic tap of Markus' knuckle against the stall door. Quiet enough to not alert any human in the bathroom, but loud enough to give Simon's thirium pump a start. Flicking the lock open, Simon shifted aside to allow Markus to enter and lock the door back behind him.
Because he had been the first to leave Jericho to start putting their plan in motion, Simon had yet to see Markus all dressed up in his suit. He really wore it well, and passed for a human perfectly.
「Simon?」
Simon pursed his lips at Markus' voice in his head, shaking his head and closing his eyes tight in order to focus them again. 「Sorry, Markus.」 His hands quivered slightly as he loosened his grip, allowing Markus to take the clothes from him. 「That suits you.」
Markus' perplexed look sent Simon slightly on edge. He hadn't meant to think that thought loud enough for it to connect with Markus, but there was no doubt that Markus had heard it. He let out a quiet yet audible chuckle, his eyes trained on Simon as his hands fumbled with his tie.
「Was...was that a pun? You didn't seem like the type, Simon.」
Simon blinked a few times, and his LED must have turned yellow because Markus' playful eyes darted over to Simon's temple. Ever since he fell into Jericho's hull, Markus had a permanently planted serious expression, and this was the first time he saw his brow relaxed, his eyes sparkle, and his lips parted in a smile. With a few more blinks, Simon tilted his head to the side, looking down to both physically remove his gaze from Markus' kind eyes and parted lips, and to blatantly put his stress on display by fully showing his blinking, yellow LED. He shifted his jaw as he searched for the words that he could not find.
「Relax.」 Markus took a step towards Simon, who couldn't help but take a half step back. His eyes were gentle but stared at him with the intensity of their cause shining through. He reached out and planted his hands firmly on either of Simon's shoulders. 「The plan is airtight. There's nothing to worry about. We get up there, send out our message and leave as quickly as we can. We've got this.」
Simon's eyes moved between Markus', and he let out a shaky, held breath. 「I know. We've got this.」 Markus offered a gentle smile before moving away. Simon watched him fumble with his tie a moment longer before moving forward, holding his breath once again and gently pressing his fingertips between the layers of fabric, unknotting it. 「First time?」
「My owner never wore ties. Josh, uh, Josh helped me tie it.」 Simon thought that was rather nice of Josh, but he'd be lying if he said the image of Josh stooping down to help a struggling Markus wasn't a funny one. He'd have to remember to ask him about it when they got back to Jericho.
Simon didn't have a chance to step away from Markus before he started unbuttoning his white shirt. Simon's hands had barely let the two ends of the tie go before Markus pulled at his vest and shrugged his jacket and shirt off his shoulders, and he found his hands reaching for the warm, discarded clothes as Markus held them out to him. Simon was used to wearing more layers than what was provided in his current disguise, and for a split second he considered holding the bundle of warmth closer to himself, but he was worried that he was already making this situation tense enough. Simon closed his eyes in an attempt to stop them from wandering, but found them open again and trailing down Markus' chest. He watched Markus shift and tilt his head as he held up the uniform, attempting to make sense of it. Markus leaned over towards Simon, who straightened up and kept intense eye contact. What was he doing? Why was he getting so close?
Markus shifted on his feet, pivoting away from Simon after depositing the hat, pants and over shirt momentarily. Simon's eyes were free to dart over him with his back turned, and he only had a moment until the long-sleeved undershirt would cover up his skin. He followed the curve of his side, pausing to notice the dip in his lower back before following his spine to his shoulder blades. He attempted to commit the image to memory, unintentionally furrowing his brows in the process. He noticed as Markus pulled the shirt down over his head, following the black hem down to his waist, but was not attentive enough to see Markus glance at him over his shoulder as his fingers tugged the hem down to his waistband. Simon was far too focused on the intake of information, as well as the intent to not openly share his thoughts with Markus.
Markus turning, however, was a different story. Simon's eyes snapped up to his as he held the rest of the uniform out to Markus. Markus held his gaze as he took the pants, only breaking their eye contact to briefly glance to his own shoes, stepping out of them before reaching for his belt.
Simon knew it was better for his own sanity to look away, and he did. He tilted his head to the side to give Markus privacy, but couldn't help but wonder why Markus didn't turn away like he had done before. Arguably, taking his pants off was more revealing than his shirt, but of course Markus probably wasn't thinking like that. There were more important matters at hand, and Simon shook his head in disappointment with himself, ever so slightly sighing. He needed to be better than this.
「You know, Simon...」 He risked a glance to meet Markus' eyes at the mention of his name. It was definitely a mistake--Markus was still in the process of putting his new pair of pants on. That mischievous look was still playing in the reflections on Markus' eyes, and Simon felt trapped no matter where he was looking. 「I thought having you helping me here was the safest option. Maybe--」 Markus' eyes darted to Simon's LED, which Simon was unaware of the color, 「--maybe I was wrong.」 Red, probably. At least it was now.
「Well.」 Simon had meant to immediately continue the thought, but the image of Markus buttoning his pants was too much to allow that to happen. Markus shook his head slightly, and Simon was relieved for the smile that plagued his lips, and that he didn't seem outwardly angry with him. Markus moved closer to place more warm clothes in his hands. His fingers hovered over the brim of the hat, but he didn't move away. Markus tilted his head to the side, as if asking for Simon to continue his previous thought. 「I think it was the best option.」 The thought was very forced, and he hated watching Markus take notice of his LED yet again. It really wasn't fair, especially since Markus had gotten rid of his own...Simon momentarily considered when he'd have time to remove his. But now wasn't the time for his mind to wander, because Markus was still right there, he wasn't moving. Simon felt his brow furrow ever so slightly as he searched for something in Markus' eyes. Some reason why he wasn't leaving the stall. North was waiting for him, and Simon had another part to play before they met up on the broadcasting floor.
「Simon.」
Markus' voice was gentle and innocent in his head, and Simon unconsciously shifted his jaw to the side, wearily casting his eyes up to meet his. Simon almost couldn't physically take their closeness, and felt his mind race as Markus leaned closer still, his eyes burning through Simon's thoughts, leaving him nothing but an incoherent jumble in his head. He felt a breath escape his lips, and Simon couldn't help but feel that Markus had stolen it. A hot huff of air escaped Markus, as well, and Simon breathed it in, happy to steal his breath in return.
Simon kept unwavering eye contact as Markus' lips barely brushed his own, sending a shock through every fiber of his being. Markus' firm hand rested on top of the bundle of clothes in Simon's hands, pressing down ever so slightly on him.
The tension between their lips was unbearable. Their warm breaths collided between them, Simon's shaky and wavering ones against Markus' warm and steady ones. And when Markus finally did give into Simon's pleading, shivering lips, he kept his eyes trained on Simon's. Simon felt violated: it wasn't a negative feeling, but he felt so laid bare against Markus' gaze and against his lips. Simon couldn't handle the feeling any longer, and shut his eyes so that he could focus more on the physical part of this and less on the soul-searching gaze Markus was trying so hard to hold.
Their lips parted before Markus pressed again, tilting his head more to press their lips together tighter still. Simon unknowingly let down his guard, but he did, sighing into his lips and relaxing against him. His lips tingled with sensations he very well could handle, but that drove him so unbelievably insane. Without thinking twice, Simon's lips were void of the human façade that always incased them, and he took a moment to take a short breath of hot air before pressing them against Markus' own silver and blue-toned lips, feeling something so much more than before. The feelings of tenderness and understanding laid before him, and all he had to do was press his lips against Markus' to feel utterly engulfed in them. He's sure that he thought a lot of things to Markus: his name, about how nice it felt, about how incredibly warm Markus was, but Simon wasn't in the mindset to control how loud his thoughts were right now. He was in the mindset to enjoy this blessing while it lasted.
Markus deepened the kiss, moving his hands to Simon's hips and pulling him closer as his tongue passed over Simon's bottom lip. Simon hadn't meant to let go of the clothes he had been entrusted with, but he heard the soft sounds of cloth fall to the floor between them. He placed his own hands ever so gently on Markus' chest, not pushing away but just feeling his warmth beneath them. If Markus was throwing thoughts in his direction, Simon was none the wiser. Their lips parted for a moment before Simon moved forward to close the gap, prompting Markus' hands to grip his hips tighter. Simon couldn't take the slight, continuous pressure from Markus and he leaned back into the wall behind him. Markus followed, the fingertips on his right hand sending a shock through Simon's system as they snaked under the hem of his shirt. Slowly, Markus ran his hand over his side, resting it along the back of his hip. Instinctively, perhaps, the skin on Simon's hip reacted to the lack of faux skin on Markus, and their true skin--smooth and white--met with an intense shock, as if Simon had been tossed into the waters by Jericho. Their bare lips touching had felt so different than the touch of his hand on him, and he wasn't sure if it was purely the intent of the action or if he was just that weak to someone grabbing his hip, android skin or not. Either way, Simon knew they had to stop here, before his resolve fully melted away from the extended close proximity with Markus' burning form.
Simon's hand moved before his lips could, disconnecting their android skin by grabbing Markus' wrist from over his shirt. "Markus." His voice was gentle, pleading even. He was sure he had the most pathetic look on his face, while Markus was paired with a furrowed brow and a warm smolder in his eyes. Everything about him was just so warm.
He moved away, stooping down to gather the clothes Simon had dropped. Simon took the clothes back, watching him closely for any signs of anger, but Markus only took a moment to compose himself before slipping back into his shoes and placing his hat neatly atop his head. He glanced back, holding Simon's gaze for far too long before offering a gentle smile. 「I'd like to try that again, back in Jericho. For now, let's focus on the plan.」
Simon felt a chill go up his spine, and he wasn't sure if it was brought on by Markus' voice in his head, or if it was merely that Markus had taken that warmth with him when he left. 「Right. I'll meet up with Josh. ...Markus, stay safe.」 Markus merely nodded before taking his leave of the stall, leaving Simon alone with his thoughts and these not-as-warm clothes after having pushed the lock back into place.
He waited a moment. They didn't have a lot of time, but he could afford to steel his nerves for a second longer. His hand instinctively touched where Markus' had previously been, both on his hip and then gently reaching up to his lips.
Simon couldn't think about how perfect all that had been. He stepped up on the toilet, pushing up on the ceiling tile in order to put Markus' suit away from prying eyes. Pausing, Simon thought that maybe this would've been easier had he dropped the uniform off up here, allowing Markus to change into it without the need for a hand-to-hand exchange. He pushed the thought out of his mind because he wouldn't trade their last interaction for the world.
Stepping out of the stall, Simon focused on looking natural and controlling the color of his LED. He briskly left with his own stolen keycard, ready to meet up with Josh and wait in the service elevator for the last leg of their plan. Things were changing already, and for once...Simon felt optimistic. Everything was going to be okay because Markus was here with them now. They were going to earn their freedom via his lead, no doubt about it.
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“You’re entering a dungeon again?” So soon? Yoojin swallows down the last two words and tries to go for casual interest, but his hands clench at his sides of their own accord. They would’ve given his worry away had Yoohyun deigned to look his way. As it stands, Yoohyun is more interested in tying his boots up by the portal, his back to him.
“Mm.”
Yoojin clears his throat. "What rank?"
"A."
“Well… be careful out there. Make sure you have enough potions in your inventory, and try not to get ahead of your party too much.”
“I don’t have a party.”
[Fear Resistance is activated]
“… What?”
"I’m not going with anyone.”
“You’re going in alone? But why?”
“It’s more efficient this way.”
“But it’s too dangerous!”
“I can handle myself,” Yoohyun says monotonously, tapping the toes of his boots to the floor. He still won’t look at him.
Yoojin can’t help it—he strides towards him and snatches Yoohyun’s shoulder in a panic, attempting to turn him around so they can talk properly, but Yoohyun doesn’t budge. Gritting his teeth, Yoojin uses his momentum to instead slide in front of him, effectively blocking his path.
“You can’t go in alone,” Yoojin insists, willing Yoohyun to understand. “Take Peace with you, at least.”
“No need.”
“The heck do you mean “no need”? Just because you’re an S-class doesn’t mean you can take on a whole A-rank dungeon by yourself. That’s suicide!”
Finally, Yoohyun flicks his eyes down at him, his flat gaze accompanied by Yoojin’s fear resistance window popping up a second time. “I'm not asking for your permission. Step aside.”
Yoojin’s mind is transported back to that day eight years ago, watching helplessly as his younger brother—still dressed in his torn school uniform—walks away from him and into the deadly world of hunters, alone.
F*** that.
“Ya, Han Yoohyun!” Yoojin explodes, gripping the front of his shirt in his shaking fists. “Just because you don’t remember doesn’t mean I’m not your older brother still—Listen. To me.”
“Let go.” Yoohyun is standing unnaturally still.
“Not until you call Kim Seonghan-ssi and tell him to assemble a party.”
Yoohyun’s voice goes deadly quiet. “Or what?”
Yoojin thinks of Seong Hyeonje, just a phone call and a promise for a favor away. He thinks of Song Taewon, who he can force to help him if he makes him believe Yoohyun is running wild. Of Peace and Yerim and Noah, whom he doesn’t even need to force at all. And—though he loathes himself for it—at the darkest, most rotten part of his mind, he thinks of the many monsters registered under his skill.
Staring straight into Yoohyun’s soulless eyes, Yoojin gets right up in his face and vows in the same tone with utmost sincerity.
“Or I’ll make you.”
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I lowkey (highkey) reeeaaaaallly wanna see Nice Eclipse's Moon come to our dimension.
It's probably gonna be an episode, and I can only see it going to ways: he backs down, or he doesn't.
Just think: Solar's (calling him Solar like @ayy-imma-ninja [tthey're at this tumblr so go check'em out if you haven't already {you prob already have tho let's be honest}, I'll probably just end up calling his Moon S.Moon cuz I'm lazy, sorry for the terrible formating of this by the way, I'm terrible at organizing my thoughts...this is why I type in the notes guys] does because it gets very confusing for me, I hope they don't mind if they see this, not gonna tag them cuz I don't wanna bother anyone with my dumb lil ideas) Moon stumbles through the ballpit and rights himself after the initial disorientation, eyes zeroed in on his kill. He scans the Daycare and identifies his target at the security desk. But guess who else is there...?
That's-that's him, right there, talking to Eclipse.
Of course, it isn't really him, he'll probably reason. That's this dimension's Moon, the one Solar seems to be so enamored with. He doesn't talk to Solar, not unless he has to, not after what he did to Sun.
But watching some version of himself talk to him...they're both at at ease with each other, or as relaxed as they can be with whatever seemingly serious hushed conversation going on is about. Still, they're civil with each other, actually bordering on friendly, familiar, even. And seeing that, S.Moon realizes...
This Moon is so much happier than he is.
But of course he's happy. He still has his brother, even after everything they've been through. His brother was lost before they had ever hoped to have gained anything, dead before their lives together even started.
Why does this Moon get to be happy? Why doesn't he deserve that same fate that S. Moon has suffered through? They're the exact same model, the exact same person.
But we're not the same, a quiet voice whispers in the back of his head.
He hates that it sounds like Sun.
I don't think S. Moon is really impulsive enough to actually start a fight. I do think, however, that he has quite a temper, so he probably wouldn't back down if the pair were to suddenly notice him in the ballpit and call him out (yes I'm using this as a way to continue the situation hush I am weak). So. I think the scenario would probably play out as Solar seeing S.Moon in the pit and going 'oh shit I'm gonna die' in that hardly surprised drawl of his, and then our Moon comes out and goes 'uh NOPE not gonna happen'. Which means we've got a battle of the Moons. Yippy-ki-yay. S.Moon probably confronts our Moon, argues with him. ('Why are you defending him? He's the reason our brother's gone!') Cue Solar feelin guilty while Moon goes 'nah dude this guy's different this guy's in my house so back off'
smalll scuffle to continue the plot cuz I HAVE A POINT WITH THIS I PROMISE-
Small scuffle, almost gets into a full-on fight, but who should come to his brother's aid but Sir Sunrise himself. He'd rush in, probably try to calm down this stranger who's he's trying very hard to ignore because it reminds him of the Old Moon so much.
(Remember, S. Moon's not the only one to go through the loss of a brother...)
And S. Moon just...stops. He's still, save for wobbling optics that quiver as they take this Sun in with disbelief.
He hasn't seen his brother in so long. He looks-he looks so different-tired and worn out and far too anxious, more so than he used to be. S.Moon reaches out...
...and then pulls back.
This isn't right. It's him but it's not, it's not him. This Sun has a brother, a family, friends, a life. This Sun has been broken, but he's healing in a way S. Moon never will. And with that all, there's something else he senses...
This Sun is happy.
...S.Moon wonders if his brother would be as happy with him as this one is.
He forces his optics of of the yellow animatronic in front of him and the orange one eyeing him warily.
He then walks back to the ballpit and teleports away without a word.
Solar observes quietly. Another careful prompt from Moon, asking if he thinks S.Moon will come back. It's a soft attempt at reassurance of a presence caring for him at the same time as it serves as a cautious probing at his feelings. He doesn't say much of anything, just shrugging, telling the blue animatronic that he doesn't know what his Moon'll do next, if he'll come back.
But he does know. He knows that there's one thing about every Moon that never changes regardless of the dimension: he always honors his word. And he knows his Moon won't come back.
He can piece together why pretty easily. Seeing this perfect little family that Solar has found and somehow earned a place in further confirmed his cut ties with him. It also cemented something else: S.Moon may never know what family is like. He had that chance with Sun, then Solar, and he blew it. Seeing that bond here, something he can never be a part of...
He knows that he's the outsider now.
That silent staring match between them said it all. S.Moon won't come back. The one and only kind thing he'll ever do for Solar. He'll go back to his dimension, silently aching for a future that he can't have, a world that isn't his. He'll work on his Sun. It's not Sun anymore, either, really, just an empty shell. Moon's no fool. He's probably realized that Sun's gone for ages, he won't come back. He knows that what he works on tirelessly, slaving away at night after night, skipping charges and sacrificing anything, perhaps even the metal plating on his endoskeleton if it comes to it, it's all for the sake of nothing but a hollow corpse, a husk of a brother long gone.
Moon doesn't have anything left to work for.
A part of Solar wants to go back and help him, save him. Maybe he will, someday. But he's making his own decisions now, choosing his own happiness. So he lets Lunar drag him away from the Daycare and his messy thoughts with a question of if he wants to watch more cartoons or maybe play Minecraft if he's not up to it?
Tired optics soften at the gesture and allow the smaller animatronic to lead the way.
He's home now. He's let go.
Eclipse moves on.
Well that accidentally became a drabble instead of an analysis. Oops.
...also I'm gonna tag @sunnyinajar because you seem to like my lil blurps abt tsams? I mean I'm sorry for tagging if you don't you don't have to like it I hope you do but if you don't uh that's okay um I'm gonna save this before I lose confidence and delete it-
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Welp, today's the day I finally stepped on a scale after, like, I dunno, years probably? Aaaanndd well... that was a number I haven’t seen there before xd Which is both good and bad.
Bad because I gained a few kgs since the last time and apparently went over the healthy bmi and body fat amount (not by a lot, but like around 1,5 each), if the online calculators are to be believed, but it's also good in the sense this might finally give me enough motivation to kick myself in the ass and start moving goddammit.
I've already been trying to do some light exercises a couple times a week but maybe this will help me up the ante + I have, for the first time in my life, decided to try and count my calories intake. Which is... weird, lmao, but also interesting? I haven’t been eating a lot, tbh, and pretty much no sweets or snacking, I kinda grew out of it? So I guess most of my added weight comes from lack of exercise and maaaybe hormone changes. Ive been on and off the pill several times during the last year-two, currently off for a couple of months, so I think that could’ve thrown my body into alarm mode of gathering fat "just in case".
With the calories intake counting, Im mainly curious to see how much I get in the day when I eat as I normally do and if there's a reason for the weight gain somewhere in there. Like today Im already after dinner and I'll probably only make myself a light supper and won’t even meet the amount the app Im using calculated for me to lose the weight I want (5 kg for now to get back to the healthy bmi scale), so that's very interesting and Im wondering if maybe Im eating less on some days but more on others and that's also making my body "put away" the extra? I don’t actually know how all of this works, so Im just making guesses right now.
And the exercise part, ooof. It didn’t use to be so hard, goodness grace, Im Really out of shape. Tho, I guess the added kgs are impacting me too. Im starting slow, mostly stretching + some squats, some shorter video exercises, the kind. I know it'd probably help to make a regime, but that's only gonna make me miserable, so for now Im setting myself a goal of just Doing Something everyday and whenever I feel stronger, I'll just do more on the day. Otherwise the pressure I put on myself might kill any fun or motivation Id have.
This is pretty much just my personal rambling, which I might turn into a bit of a diary to help myself keep track and all (its weirdly easier to just type up a tumblr post than open up a notebook and write it down? Huh...), so like if anyone got through this whole post, damn, thank you, I guess, hah. If you have any tips, I'd be glad to read them! ^^
Let's see how long this bout of motivation lasts me 😂🙈
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