#that's also why like. if i Do end up being inconsistent a little bit. i'm not planning out any of this i'm just going with it

[ruvviks]

Chapter >> 10 [x] Characters >> Cato Wu (oc), Judy Álvarez, Lauren Dimas (oc), Matvey Dobrynin (oc), Mikhail Koshechkin (oc), Panam Palmer, Thibault Lajoie (oc), Viktor Vektor, Vincent Mayer (oc), Vitali Dobrynin (oc), [redacted] Total >> 9.6k words Warnings >> Blood mention, brainwashing mention, death mention, descriptions of suffocation, family, injuries, violence

‘What are we looking at?’

‘Seven attacks have been reported thus far, four of them still on-going. Many casualties among mercs- none of ours yet- word on the street is a fixer was killed, too.’

Clack. Clack. Clack.

Vitali found himself back in the hallway. Pace as fast as it could possibly go, leg painfully protesting with every move, heart racing uncontrollably in his chest and hand white-knuckled around his cane- Judy and Panam by either of his sides, as they hurried toward the medbay.

He had been there before. Two months ago, give or take; when Eddie, Lauren, Mikhail and Panam had been targeted during that damned cargo transport. Never again, Vitali had thought; I will not let this happen ever again.

Naïve, perhaps. Or just fucking stupid. Either way, how wrong he had been- it had only gone downhill from there, from Mikhail’s captivity to Vincent’s, from seeing his mother again to coming face to face with his father in the decrepit Arasaka facility, from meeting Daniil, to-

To Thibault nearly losing his life in an explosion.

Yet another thing Vitali had been unable to prevent. He had not been anywhere nearby, and it was Night City of all places- explosions happened all the fucking time- but it still hit him hard, especially considering how little Thibault had been involved in the situation at all.

Vitali pushed the door of the medbay open and hesitantly stepped inside, almost scared- ashamed- to show his face. Thibault sat on the edge of their bed, next to Cato; and they gave Vitali a weak smile and wave when he entered.

‘Broken wrist, two bruised ribs, some scrapes ‘n bruises,’ Viktor said from the other end of the room before Vitali could ask anything. He sat on his usual stool, taking some quick notes on a notepad before quickly wheeling himself over to the small crowd in his workplace. ‘Your parking lot took most of the damage.’

‘And Vincent’s car too,’ Thibault quietly added, their semi-mechanical voice raspier than usual. ‘I think they rigged it, but- I wasn’t able to see very well.’

‘Never mind his car or my parking lot,’ Vitali cut them off, ignoring the implications of the possibility of Vincent’s car having carried the explosion underneath, and he quickly walked closer and sat himself down on the bed next to Thibault’s to relieve his leg. ‘How are you feeling?’

A pointless question, but what else could he ask? His heart was so heavy.

‘Tired, mostly,’ was the hesitant answer. ‘Ears are ringing, but- other than that, I feel fine. If you need me back in the field, I can walk. Run too, probably- haven’t tried yet, but should be…should be fine, yes.’

‘You’re not going anywhere,’ Vitali softly replied. ‘We have everything covered.’

That wasn’t true. Thibault knew. And Vitali knew that xe knew. But neither of them said any more of it.

Vitali had woken up early that morning. Earlier than usual, feeling refreshed for the first time in a while, and he had gone to work before Vincent and Mikhail had even gotten out of bed. Taken his time with the drive to the office, despite it being nearby enough; though to be fair on a busy day it could still easily take him half an hour if not longer to make it to the other side of Wellsprings.

It had been unnerving, almost, how smoothly most of the morning had passed by. The sun had been shining outside, a warm and sunny day- the start of June, and Vitali had finally felt like he could start planning for Vincent’s birthday. And he had, between the few calls he’d had to take and the single client meeting near noon.

Nothing too big, of course. Just a day for the two of them; ever since they had first kissed on Vincent’s birthday the year before, they’d had only a handful of actual dates, between all the situations they’d found themselves in. Vitali figured it would be nice to have another; he just hoped neither of them would be too tired to leave the house.

But now, even though it was still a week away, Vitali wasn’t even sure if they would be able to do anything at all.

‘Get some rest,’ he quietly said and reached out to Thibault’s not-injured hand, to give it a soft squeeze. ‘I am sure there’ll be plenty of work to do in the building once we get this situation resolved- you could help then, if you really want to.’

‘Of course,’ Thibault replied, and another weak smile took shape on xyr face. ‘That’s what you’re paying me for, no? Kidding- I’d do this for free. You know that.’

I would give you all the world, if I could.

‘Stay with them,’ Vitali quickly said, regaining himself and directing his attention to Cato now as he stood up again. ‘Keep me updated on any new developments here.’

‘Don’t you want me out there?’ Cato asked, gesturing at the most nearby window, a frown decorating her brow. ‘Not injured myself. I can make myself useful.’

‘And I would like for you to do that here.’

Vitali had not been able to get the visual of- of Daniil, his own fucking brother- attacking Cato and trying to stab her out of his head. He knew Cato had dealt with much, much worse before, and after a short conversation following the incident that same day she had not brought it up anymore-

But Vitali had watched enough of his friends end up in pain. It had to stop.

He made his way back to the door and Judy and Panam followed suit again, both having been dead silent in the few minutes they had spent in the medbay. Much to Vitali’s surprise, Viktor stood up from his stool too and walked with him- but he did not question it. No time for that now.

Vitali still was not entirely sure what had happened.

It had all gone fast; a report of an explosion near Regina’s headquarters, followed by report after report of mercenaries getting injured, dying- none of Vitali’s as of yet, though he was not even able to say for sure since most of their systems had suddenly been down too, an outage in the entire Heywood district leaving them with little to work with.

Brief contact with the Council had once again confirmed to Vitali none of them worried about the Broker. He knew it was his father’s doing; had tried to convince them of it, yet before he could have even said a word a distress signal had disturbed their meeting- the currently absent Wakako had been under attack, and it had marked the end of their communication for the time being.

On his own, once again. Supplies still low, mercenaries exhausted and scared- and Vitali was starting to reach the end of his rope.

‘What is our situation?’ he asked, slightly turning his head as the four of them made their way to mission control.

‘Three squads in the field currently,’ Judy replied and held out her tablet a little so Vitali could take a look at the footage. ‘Shiro and Hux are still over at Wakako’s to assist Goro; no new updates as of yet… Eddie and his squad should be nearing the Northside rendezvous by now.’

‘And V?’

A short pause.

‘Not yet been able to reestablish contact.’

Vitali subconsciously fastened his pace, refusing to say any more of it and he rolled back his shoulders, straightening his back as if to show he was not about to back down to nobody in particular; his heart was still racing in his chest and nausea was bubbling up in his stomach, though he managed to keep it at bay for now- much to his own surprise.

‘Panam- Take whoever you can find and get to Westbrook,’ he said, slightly raising his voice. ‘I need that situation under control, stat. Judy, I need either you or Lauren in the Net. We need our systems back online. Are you up for that?’

The deafening silence that followed caused Vitali to slow down and he looked behind him; Viktor had followed him a little further, though both Panam and Judy had stopped in their tracks at some point, both carrying the same hesitant- nearly terrified- look in their eyes.

‘Please,’ Vitali blurted out, heart skipping a beat though he was unsure whether it was out of frustration or fear. ‘If I could do all of this myself, I would.’

‘No, no-! It’s not that,’ Panam immediately responded, her voice slightly unstable as she spoke, and she redirected her attention to the tablet in Judy’s hands. ‘There’s…’

Before she could finish her sentence, a loud siren cut through the air, filling the streets of Wellsprings, loud enough for them to hear inside Vitali’s office. All the air was punched straight out of his lungs and he hurried back, to look over Judy’s shoulder at the screen.

‘Another explosion,’ she quietly said, her tablet showing a live news feed. ‘The docks. There were people there.’

‘Our people?’

‘I… I can’t tell.’

Vitali caved in.

What was he supposed to do? Times like these reminded him that he was so- small. Insignificant. Merely one man in a city so large, and it didn’t matter what he did. It would never make a difference.

Just like he had never been able to make a difference in Arasaka, like he had wanted to when he had started working for them all those fucking years ago. Stuck in a never ending cycle- a hell of his own making- believing he could mean something in the bigger picture of things-

‘Just the more reason to get a move on,’ Viktor suddenly said. ‘Our people or not- they can use all the help they can get.’

Vitali instantly snapped back to reality and he quickly nodded, a weight washing off his chest when Viktor suddenly reached out and placed a strong hand on his shoulder, almost as if to ground him. His gaze moved back to the girls, and they both seemed to regain themselves as well.

‘Westbrook. Wakako,’ Panam quickly said, and nodded too. ‘Preem, on it. Judes?’

Judy blinked and inhaled deeply, straightening her back and her eyes met Vitali’s for a split second. He understood why she was hesitant. Understood that Lauren would be hesitant, too- after everything that had happened, to the both of them- but they were the only ones capable of diving into the Net and Vitali needed someone to cover that front for him-

Again, if he could do it all himself, he would.

‘I’ll find Lauren, have a chat,’ she finally responded. ‘We’ll- We’ll rock, paper, scissors about it.’

‘Good,’ Viktor said, removing his hand from Vitali’s shoulder. ‘No need for a deep dive, just- getting our systems back online, some surface level surveillance and plugging potential holes in case of an attack.’

Vitali’s heart finally slowed down and he pushed back his shoulders again, head suddenly a lot clearer than before. He watched in silence as Panam gave Judy a warm hug and kiss on her cheek; and she turned around and walked off, giving Vitali a soft punch against his shoulder as she passed him by.

‘Whoever his Netrunner is, they’re good,’ Judy quietly said. ‘Just hope they’re not- not waiting for someone to get in the chair.’

‘I highly doubt it, given the circumstances,’ Vitali replied, knot in his chest briefly tightening. ‘Besides, our focus is defense this time; as long as we stay out of their systems, there is no way they can get to you the way they tried before.’

Of course Vitali could not say any of it with one hundred percent certainty- but what else was there left for him to say? He wished he could do without a runner, wished he could fix any of it himself-

‘You’re right,’ Judy suddenly said and she nodded, sucking in another deep breath. ‘Got you covered, jefe.’

Vitali was unable to suppress a relieved smile.

‘Thank you.’

The situation was hard on everyone. It had been going on for way too long now and still had no end in sight, and these attacks would only complicate things in the long run; yet somehow everyone was still there. Nobody had walked away from it yet, nobody had abandoned Vitali despite the fact the Council was not helping them-

Viktor reached out for him again and softly tapped his arm to get his attention, then nodded into the rest of the hallway.

‘Mission control,’ he encouragingly said. ‘We got work to do, kid.’

The two of them quickly continued their way, Vitali still focused on the siren blaring through the sub-district. He still didn’t fully understand why the attacks were happening, but that was a problem for later; they had to get the situation under control, one way or another. Matvey couldn’t have that many people working for him.

Right?

Vitali bit the inside of his cheek as they entered mission control and exhaled sharply, mind wandering back to all the mercenaries who had walked away from him and had joined his father’s fixer network instead. Add to that all the outsiders who had joined over the years, and his father’s connections to several corporations-

‘There you are.’

Mikhail’s voice dragged Vitali out of the fog in his brain and a sense of comfort washed over him, like the presence of his friend had always been able to do. Mikhail appeared in his view and reached out to briefly cup his cheek, before also glancing at Viktor and giving him a solid nod.

‘Everything alright?’ he asked, tilting his head slightly as he redirected his attention to Vitali.

‘As good as it can be,’ Vitali answered. He carefully let his gaze trail the room; there were only a few people there, mostly talking quietly to each other while nervously glancing at the large screen on the wall. It was still showing a connection error with several large, flashing warning popups. ‘Xe’s got a broken wrist, some bruised ribs- Cato is still with xem for now.’

At times he genuinely wondered how much more injuries it was going to take before someone would end up losing their life.

‘That is good to hear.’ Mikhail spoke quietly and he stepped a little closer to Vitali, once more reaching out to him to place a hand on his upper arm. ‘But I meant with you.’

Vitali blinked, Mikhail’s words taking a moment to fully settle in his head; it was not uncommon for his friend to ask him that, yet at this point Vitali’s own well-being seemed mostly irrelevant to himself given the circumstances they had found themselves in.

‘As good as it can be,’ he quietly repeated himself.

The screen on the wall suddenly flickered and within a few seconds their feed was back online, showing Vitali live footage of the still on-going fight on Jig Jig Street. He immediately directed his attention away from Mikhail and walked closer, reaching for his hearing aid and switching to the communication line of his office building.

‘Judy?’ he asked, watching as the lights in the room briefly flickered off and on as the screen switched to live footage extracted from MaxTac bodycams.

‘Guess again,’ Lauren replied instead, and Vitali once again couldn’t stop a smile from spreading across his face. ‘At your disposal, jefe.’

It was good to have her back. Judy was good at what she did- but at the end of the day more of a techie than a runner and her knowledge was limited to the things she had been taught over time. Taught by Lauren, who had been in the chair for much longer, and whose thinking process lined up almost exactly with that of Vitali meaning less communication was needed between the two in order to get things done.

‘Can we reestablish contact with V?’ Vitali asked, a new sense of control shaking him right back awake. He nearly slipped up- had gotten so comfortable using Vincent’s full name he sometimes forgot not everyone knew about it yet.

‘One step ahead of you. Sending out a ping as we speak,’ Lauren answered. ‘Got all three of them on our radar still, so they’re not- you know. They’re still here.’

Good.

Vitali bit the inside of his cheek hard as he waited for Lauren to get back to him, placing his hands on the desk he was stood in front of. His eyes were glued to the screen, watching intently as the MaxTac officers arrived at the docks of Wellsprings- several cars were on fire, people were running everywhere, and in the background he could see several mercenaries emerge from around the corner right before they opened fire-

‘Got him,’ Lauren said and Vitali’s heart skipped a beat. ‘Connecting you now.’

Finally.

‘V, can you hear me?’ Vitali asked, voice barely stable as he spoke and hands white-knuckled around the edge of the desk in front of him. His heart was once again going a million miles an hour in his chest and he leaned heavily on his arms, suddenly barely able to keep his own balance anymore.

A brief silence followed, though each second that passed felt like an hour. Mikhail had walked closer again and placed a reassuring hand on Vitali’s back, softly running it up and down in an attempt to calm him down.

But as much as Vitali appreciated it, it did not work. He had to hear him. He had to hear his voice.

‘V?’ he repeated, swallowing heavily as tears threatened to well up in the corners of his eyes. ‘V- please say something.’

I can’t lose you. Please- not you.

‘Loud and clear! Fuck, it’s good to hear your voice again.’

Vitali’s eyes fluttered shut and a relieved sigh escaped his lips, and for a second he felt like he could pass out. Vincent’s ever-so bright voice was like music to his ears, even now that he sounded mostly exhausted; Vitali could not blame him. He felt exactly the same.

‘Where are you right now?’ he quietly asked, glancing at Viktor who had walked up to him as well and now stood beside him at the desk, an unreadable expression on his face; had not said a word since back in the hallway, as if he was deep in thought.

‘Near the bridge in Arroyo,’ Vincent answered. ‘Followed some gonks after a scuffle on Hargreaves Street- there’s an old warehouse here that looks like it’s being used as a temporary hideout.’

Another temporary hideout. Good.

It felt too easy. It was too easy- there was no way Matvey would slip up like that and Vitali knew if he would go there he would be walking directly into a trap of some sort.

But he had to try.

‘You’re doing great, but- please don’t push it too far,’ Vitali said, loosening his grip on the desk. ‘Lauren will stay in touch with you, okay? Please be careful.’

‘Careful is my middle name, ‘member?’ Vincent answered, and Vitali could almost see the playful smirk on his face through the communication line. ‘Won’t get too close until you give me the signal, promise.’

Vitali switched off his comms and turned back, resolutely making his way back to the entrance of the room. As always- unable to just sit back and watch, unable to leave the situation to his mercenaries. Yes, he paid them to work for him; yes, they were capable of handling it themselves; but they were his friends, and he could make himself the most useful in the field with them.

‘Where are you going?’ Mikhail asked, a worried frown taking shape on his face as he took some steps after Vitali.

‘Going to meet up with Vincent,’ Vitali plainly answered, briefly slowing his pace and turning back to him. ‘I want you to stay here and oversee the situation. Can you do that for me?’

‘Of course.’ Mikhail paused and swallowed, glancing back at the screen behind him and then looking back at Vitali; but he could not make eye contact anymore, several quiet noises leaving his lips before he spoke again.

‘Please be careful,’ he said in Russian. ‘You know what he’s capable of, now.’

Mikhail had almost died. If Matvey had aimed slightly more to the right-

‘I know,’ Vitali quickly responded, pushing the thoughts out of his head. ‘I’ll be careful, don’t worry.’

He left the room again, head threatening to fill with fog but it was surprisingly easy to push it back this time, mind constantly going back to Vincent. Clack, clack, clack- back into the hallway, to get to weapon storage and get suited up- and much to his surprise, Viktor followed him again.

‘Vitya, you’re not coming with me,’ Vitali instantly said, voice a little sharper than he had meant for and he picked up his pace a little as if he could outrun Viktor like that. He knew the old ripperdoc could fight, and still did every now and then; but he was not a mercenary, far from it, and Vitali did not even want to think about the things that could happen to him out in the field.

‘Don’t think you got much say in any of that,’ Viktor merely responded.

‘You work for me. I would like for you to stay here.’

‘I do- and my shift ended about an hour ago. I’m coming, whether you like it or not. Gonna try and stop me?’

Vitali blinked and straightened his back, a weird sensation running through his chest he couldn’t quite place. They reached weapon storage together, and Viktor instantly reached out to open the door and hold it for Vitali.

Yes, they had worked together before, many times- yet never like this, never together in the field. But Vitali knew Viktor long and well enough to know he was about as stubborn as Vitali himself, and to try and stop him?

Vitali wouldn’t even dare.

‘Get down!’

Vincent jumped out of the way just in time, hiding behind a truck as the cryogenic grenade that had been hurled at his head exploded right on the other side. It set off the truck’s alarm and the piercing noise burned through his ears, disorienting him to the point he briefly forgot where he was.

It was just the five of them; him and four other mercenaries he didn’t even know the names of. Not as if it mattered- they were all allies in this, even the two of them who were not even part of Vitali’s network.

Though at that moment he found himself alone on the street, under attack from all sides by Matvey’s mercenaries- and they were not pulling their punches this time.

Vincent sprinted across the road and kneeled down behind another parked car- or- what was left of it, really. He reloaded his gun and glanced over his shoulder, noticing more enemies coming his way; they came straight from the Broker’s new hideout, heavy assault rifles at the ready, with seemingly an endless supply of ammo.

Vincent himself was on his last clip.

He hadn’t gotten too close to the warehouse, well aware of the security turrets placed on the premises. Toys from the abandoned Arasaka facility they had attacked before, and so far Vincent had not been able to quickhack them.

But the fight going on in the rest of the street had been obvious enough to draw the attention of more people and they had shown up in full force, and despite the fact they were still holding their ground, Vincent was starting to wonder if it would be smarter to pull back.

‘Heads up, V- seeing several drones on my radar coming your way.’

‘Seriously?’ Vincent yelled, exasperation dripping from his voice. ‘Of course they have drones, too.’

‘Hit ‘em on the underside,’ Lauren calmly responded. ‘Saves ammo, should take ‘em down in one or two. Six o’clock- get ready.’

Vincent looked up at the sky and saw three combat drones closing in quickly, all headed straight for him. One of them was already under fire, from what he could see- one of the mercenaries had popped up again and managed to cause the drone to catch fire, and it tumbled out of the air before it could even get close.

Vincent raised his gun and exhaled, relaxing the muscles of his shoulders as he wrapped his finger around the trigger.

Take the wind into account, kid.

Right, of course. Vincent wasn’t good at calculating anything, he usually eyeballed it and somehow it nearly always worked; he quickly adjusted his aim slightly to the right and pulled the trigger, and watched as sparks and black smoke erupted from the bottom of the second drone, right before it exploded and knocked the third drone out of its course straight into a street light.

That was easy.

Don’t get too cocky.

The corners of Vincent’s lips curled up into a smile and he could almost hear Johnny’s exasperated sigh in his head, as if he was still there with him, leaning against the street light next to him perhaps, or sitting on top of the remains of the car he was hiding behind.

Sudden gunfire immediately drew him back to reality and he lowered his head, quickly scuttling around the car to create more distance between himself and the nearing mercenaries. Only limited ammo left- he would have to pick his shots carefully, and there were still so fucking many of them-

Though as Vincent prepared himself for shooting back, most of the gunfire suddenly stopped, and soon it was almost entirely quiet on the street. He frowned and carefully looked up, eyes trailing his surroundings until he saw-

Vitali?

Vincent had never been this relieved to see his boyfriend.

He immediately jumped up and hurried his way over, briefly pausing to sink through his knees and grab a precision rifle from the ground. He slowed his pace, aiming the rifle and steadying himself- and he hit the merc trying to sneak up to Vitali right between the eyes.

Suddenly the world was spinning and Vincent’s head hit the asphalt, vision instantly going black for a few seconds from the impact. The moment he regained consciousness he was pinned to the ground, rifle no longer anywhere near him and two hands wrapped tightly around his neck.

Tears sprung in his eyes as he grabbed the mercenary’s wrists and struggled in their grip. He tried to kick his legs, but they were stuck underneath the merc’s knees, their body weight too much for him to be able to free himself.

Hey, now. Don’t panic.

But it was difficult. Vincent tried to suck in a breath but his windpipe was being crushed, leaving him with little oxygen in his lungs. He reached for the mercenary’s face and tried to poke them in their eye, or grab their hair and yank their head back, anything, but his fingers couldn’t find a grip and they kept turning their head away from him.

His vision was fading again, and rapidly now. Though seconds before he could lose consciousness once more, the weight was suddenly entirely lifted from his body and he gasped for air, instantly kickstarting himself into a coughing fit, the raspy noise from his throat mixing with the cries and screams from the mercenary.

A strong hand grabbed his own and pulled him back on his feet with such force Vincent toppled forward and bumped right into the person who had helped him-

Viktor?

Vincent had known Vitali was on his way, but he had never thought to ever see the ripperdoc in the field there with him.

‘You alright, kid?’ he asked, pushing a new handgun in Vincent’s hands. Vincent was unable to answer and quickly nodded in response, eyes rapidly trailing their surroundings once more-

It was quiet. For now. No enemy mercenaries, just the two of them, Vitali, and their four other allies, all in the process of gathering themselves and assessing the situation.

Catch your breath, V. You’re not in the clear just yet.

Vincent quickly jogged up to Vitali and hugged him without hesitation, relief filling his chest the second Vitali wrapped his arms around his waist in response and buried his face in the crook of Vincent’s neck. To think that at some point Vincent had been hesitant to initiate anything with him, terrified of overstepping a boundary, terrified of the possibility of Vitali prioritizing his reputation over what they had-

‘Are you alright?’ Vitali worriedly asked, lifting his head again and gently cupping Vincent’s face in his hands. ‘Are you injured? I’m sorry it took this long, we were held up by fucking NCPD pigs when trying to cross district border-’

‘I’m okay! I’m okay,’ Vincent quickly interrupted him, slightly turning his head to press a kiss on the palm of Vitali’s hand. ‘You’re here now. I’m- I’m glad you came.’

He watched relief wash over Vitali’s face and lifted his own hands to place them over Vitali’s, thumbs softly running over his skin. Vitali leaned in and rested his forehead against Vincent’s, eyes fluttering shut; the way their heads hit one another with a bit more force than usual told Vincent he was exhausted.

‘All due respect, we gotta get a move on,’ Viktor gently interrupted them, pointing his own weapon into the direction of the warehouse. ‘Looks like they’re reorganizing again.’

‘What’s the plan?’ one of the other mercenaries asked. They were leaning heavily on one of the others, hand clutching their side- all four of them looked as exhausted and beaten as Vincent felt and his chest tightened.

‘I’m going in,’ Vitali bluntly said, slowly lifting his head again. ‘Preferably alone, but- I feel like not everyone here will let me. Could you distract those mercs for me? Just- lure them away, no need for another fight.’

Straightforward as ever, no time for going in circles around the point he was trying to make. Vincent watched as the mercenaries briefly shared a look, and then one of them quickly started making their way to a nearby car and got in.

‘Yeah, we can do that,’ one of the others said, slowly nodding. ‘Why go in? Sounds like suicide to me.’

‘Perhaps,’ Vitali merely answered. ‘But I have to try.’

Another attempt at trying to talk some sense into Matvey. Vincent could not help but wonder why; but at the same time this was far from the right time and place to ask Vitali about it and he wisely kept his mouth shut when his boyfriend started making his way toward the warehouse without saying another word.

Vincent followed suit. Of course he did; he was not going to let Vitali enter the place all by himself, or with just Viktor to back him up. He was unsure how Vitali was going to approach the situation this time, but- he trusted him. Had always trusted him; wasn’t going to let that change now.

A loud honk from a car behind them startled Vincent and he instinctively jumped aside, only realizing when the vehicle passed by him it were the mercenaries- one of them waved at him as the car drove by. Vincent watched them slow down in front of the warehouse and fire a couple of shots at the mercenaries outside; as soon as they all began moving toward the car, they sped off, leaving the terrain surrounding the warehouse mostly cleared.

Eyes open. Watch out for those turrets.

The three of them quickly made their way around the building from a respectable distance, keeping their eyes on the stationary turrets as Johnny had told Vincent to do. Vincent’s heart was still going faster than usual, adrenaline rushing through his body and keeping him alert; it was not as bad yet as when they’d attacked Matvey’s previous hideout, but it was getting close to it.

Perhaps he wasn’t there. Perhaps it was just a rendezvous for the mercenaries, perhaps they would go inside and find nothing but the Broker’s people and a shitton of supplies, perhaps Matvey himself was someplace entirely else, looking down on them from his bloodied throne-

But something told Vincent he was inside. Waiting.

‘Stay alert,’ Vitali said, raising his gun while slowly pushing against the back door of the warehouse. ‘No idea what to expect.’

An unguarded, unlocked door. It felt like a trap. But at the same time, if Matvey had wanted them dead he would have done that last time. Well- he would have tried a little harder then, at least.

Right?

They went in.

The interior of the warehouse was poorly lit. A small backroom; some crates and supplies stacked up along the walls, and two tables standing shoved against each other in the middle of the room. The door leading into the hallway on the wall opposite of them was already open, and Vincent could hear booming, echoing voices from what he could only assume was a larger open area within the building’s walls.

He aimed his gun at the door, briefly glancing behind him as Viktor entered after him and shoved one of the crates in front of the door to keep it ajar. Vitali pushed himself past the tables and glanced into the hallway, then turned to Vincent and gestured for him to follow.

It was too easy. But what else could they do?

The hallway was empty too and seemed to grow in size before Vincent’s eyes, his breathing shallow as they carefully moved through it. The sudden urge to turn around and run away filled his chest; something that rarely happened, but it felt appropriate in the moment.

Of course he was terrified. But again- he was not going to leave Vitali. If it had been the other way round, Vitali wouldn’t have run away either.

The three of them gathered around the next door opening, leading into the central room of the warehouse. Vincent carefully peered inside and counted five mercenaries still present- right at that moment, the front doors swung open and three more entered, but after grabbing some new weapons they left again.

Vincent’s eyes were drawn to the two men loudly talking to each other. One of them was bald, Valentinos tattoos covering his head and neck, and he was dressed in heavy combat armor; the other was skinny and at least a head shorter than the other man, left side of his forehead, temple and his left eye replaced with cyberware, and he was still yelling about as loud if not louder than his associate.

‘Sanders and Dusty,’ Vitali mumbled, a quiet scoff leaving his lips with the statement. ‘Fucking traitor.’

Vincent had seen Sanders once before, on the big screen back at Vitali’s office after one of his escorts had nearly been blown up. He was unfamiliar with Dusty, but had heard his name before, at least- and he was well aware the man was one of the many mercenaries who had left Vitali’s network, only to join Matvey’s instead.

‘Don’t lose focus,’ Viktor quietly responded, positioned next to Vincent. ‘Not what we’re here for.’

So easy to just flatline ‘em, though.

Shut up, Johnny.

Vincent directed his attention to Vitali and watched the expression on his face change. He visibly clenched his jaw and straightened his back again, regaining himself as he nodded, not saying another word about it.

Vincent admired him so much. He knew many people, though none of them had the level of self-restraint in them as Vitali, and especially since he himself still often struggled with controlling himself and his emotions he had immense respect for Vitali and the way he was able to keep it together.

But he was also well aware Vitali had been struggling lately. It was visible in his appearance- the dark rims around his eyes, the dark roots of his hair showing much more prominently than he would usually allow for- and in the way he would sometimes be barely present- either lost inside his own head, or remnants of Arasaka’s brainwashing- yet he was still making it through and handling the situation better than Vincent ever could.

‘Can I help you, gentlemen?’

A familiar voice, right behind them.

Vincent flinched and turned around but was immediately met with Viktor’s back as he stepped in front of him, and Vitali instantly jolted forward and stumbled into the larger room to create as much distance between himself and the voice as possible.

Matvey Dobrynin.

Fuck.

Vincent immediately followed Vitali, raising his gun steadily at the mercenaries inside the moment they looked up in confusion; Dusty immediately raised his own gun too but the others stood unmoving, merely staring at the two of them, and watching as Viktor too entered the room, walking backwards, keeping himself positioned between Vitali and the Broker.

‘Took you long enough,’ Matvey said, his voice booming through the room as he slowly entered after them. ‘Have been expecting you for some hours now. Your priorities lie elsewhere?’

‘Some…situations that required my immediate attention,’ Vitali spat back, steadying himself and cocking his head up, chin pushed forward. ‘As you are most likely well aware.’

‘Vito,’ Vincent quietly mumbled, stepping a little closer until their shoulders were pressed against each other. He was still facing the other way and nervously watched while the mercenaries wandered closer, Dusty up front.

‘So you really are back, huh?’ the short man said, half a smile lingering on his lips as he walked around the two of them, completely unfazed by Vincent’s gun pointed directly at his head. ‘Hey, boss. Missed me?’

The mocking tone of his voice made Vincent’s stomach turn and he instantly noticed a dark shadow washing over Vitali’s face. Dusty was merely staring at him- and the smile on his face only widened upon seeing Vitali’s frustration.

‘Pathetic piece of shit!’ Vitali spat at him and took a step closer- and within seconds the other mercenaries had their guns out too and Vincent grabbed Vitali’s wrist to stop him from moving any closer.

‘Come on, now, Vitali- no need for such language,’ Matvey calmly said, and Vincent finally turned his head to look at him; white shirt, top button undone, no tie, sleeves rolled up, hair pushed back out of his face-

A knot took shape in Vincent’s chest. In appearance, Vitali truly was his father’s son.

‘You have no say in that,’ Vitali said, the sharp edge to his words startling Vincent a little. He had taken a step closer to Vincent again, but the way he composed himself told Vincent he was still ready to attack at any given moment. ‘What happened between me and my mercenaries is none of your fucking business.’

‘I think it is my business, considering they are no longer your mercenaries but mine.’ Matvey gestured at the mercs to lower their guns and they listened instantly- it made Vincent nauseous.

Told you to just flatline ‘em.

Not the time, Johnny.

‘Being upset about my departure is one thing, but turning on me and trying to kill my mercenaries crosses a line,’ Vitali continued, but Dusty instantly cut him off.

‘It’s not about you leaving,’ he said, ‘it’s about us losing our safety net. I couldn’t give a rat’s ass about you running off to wherever you went! But you provided us with a lot more than just cash- and Mikhail sure as hell didn’t follow through with all of that in your absence. Do you have any idea what it’s like to suddenly just be left to your own fucking devices?’

Vitali’s face hardened and he glared in his father’s direction.

‘As a matter of fact, I do.’

The tension in the air surrounding them was suffocating and Vincent briefly lowered his gun as well, arm suddenly a lot heavier than before. He tightened his grip on Vitali’s wrist and he turned to look at Matvey again when said man cleared his throat.

‘It is all in the past now,’ he merely said, and despite it being obvious he was referring to Vitali’s mercenary situation Vincent couldn’t help but notice the heaviness of his words. ‘There is no use in trying to undo what has already been done.’

‘But you can stop!’

Vitali’s voice broke.

‘Stop all of this- this madness!’ he said, wildly gesturing around with his free arm. Vincent was up close enough to notice his eyes filling with tears. ‘Tell your mercenaries to pull back, leave Night City out of this!’

‘This is not all about you, Vitali,’ Matvey slowly said, his voice low.

‘Truly so? I fucking doubt it!’

Vitali’s voice echoed through the room and a strangled sob left his throat.

‘You get fired, and this is what you do?’ he said, and when Vincent let his own hand slip into his, he gratefully interlocked their fingers. ‘And you blame me for it. And you claim I abandoned you- I called! I called every fucking day, dad- I tried to reach out, I didn’t want to- I didn’t want you to-‘

He was unable to finish his sentence.

Vincent’s eyes darted between Vitali and Matvey, breathing shallow and heart beating rapidly in his throat as he watched a shadow wash over the Broker’s face. His expression had changed- yet remained unreadable to Vincent, and he quickly regained himself the moment he realized Vitali was no longer speaking.

‘It was your mother’s decision,’ he bluntly said. ‘But enough of that. I think- this should be enough for now. Sanders, give them the signal. We’re leaving.’

That’s it?

Vincent had no idea what to think anymore.

It had felt like a trap. It had looked like it, too; but now it was suddenly over, just like that, as if it hadn’t even been a big deal to begin with. Not to mention Matvey’s words; telling Vitali it had not been his decision to ignore him after he had left home- what did it change?

‘Not so fast,’ Viktor suddenly said and Vincent’s head snapped up again. Matvey had stepped forward and Viktor had positioned himself in front of him once more, effectively blocking his path.

‘All of this- for what?’ Viktor continued; and Vincent could not help but notice he wasn’t holding his gun anymore. ‘Because you believe your son walked away from you?’

‘One does not walk away from family,’ Matvey instantly spat back, voice slightly raised, and for a second it was as if they were looking at a completely different man the way sudden rage overtook his face. ‘First he left, and then he took everything from us. You have no idea what you are talking about- tread lightly.’

‘Ever wondered why he left?’ Viktor interrupted him. ‘Has it ever occurred to you that maybe you had somethin’ to do with that? Or that maybe you getting fired was out of his control?’

‘Vik, stop,’ Vitali quietly said, but the ripperdoc didn’t hear him and instead took a step closer, to the point the mercenaries, who had started to turn away, stopped in their tracks and turned back, watching them carefully.

‘Kids grow up,’ he slowly said. ‘Leave the nest at some point in their lives. You know what sounds like abandonment to me? Not answering their calls. Ignoring their attempts to connect. Feels like you got some o’ the detes of your story twisted, dad.’

Everything happened so fast.

Matvey swung at Viktor but was too slow and Viktor caught his punch with ease- then balled his fist and went for a swing himself and he hit Matvey right on his nose. Vitali flinched when it happened, and the mercenaries all started yelling, reaching for their weapons once more.

Vincent instantly looked up at the hanging ceiling lights above their heads, rapidly scanned them and triggered a quickhack- the bulbs exploded all at once, causing the mercs to scatter before they could fire any shots; and he jolted forward, pushing himself past Viktor and Matvey and dragging Vitali along with him, back into the hallway, to safety.

‘Fuck!’ Vitali cried out and tugged on Vincent’s hand as if he was trying to slow him down, but Vincent was having none of it. With all of his strength he managed to drag Vitali back to the room they had entered the building through and they stumbled back outside, the sunlight briefly blinding him.

‘We have to go back,’ Vitali said, his voice still unstable. He stumbled back towards the door, but it instantly swung open again and Viktor barged outside, seemingly unscathed, startling Vitali to the point he jumped back into Vincent.

‘What the fuck was that about?’ Vincent yelled, nearly losing his balance from the impact of Vitali’s body against his own. He wasn’t even angry, Matvey had it coming- but they had gotten what they had come for and if anything this had just put them in unnecessary danger.

‘Someone had to do it,’ Viktor simply responded, briefly glancing behind him. ‘I don’t think they’re comin’ after us, but- let’s bounce before more show.’

Vincent was speechless.

He sucked in a deep breath and tried to get his heartbeat to slow down but his body was having none of it, still believing they were in danger- and truly, he had no idea if they were safe or not. They had been inside for such a short period of time, yet so much fucking happened- and he couldn’t wrap his head around it.

And like that, they were walking away again.

But it did not feel right.

Vincent remained silent as he walked, eyes glued on Vitali, a little bit ahead of him. He was walking fast; visibly struggling a little, despite the leg brace, but he said nothing of it as they made their way through the street again, back to where he had parked his car.

Vincent’s dad loved his job too.

A little too much, if you’d asked Vincent- to the point he would always excitedly tell his wife and four kids about the crimes he had solved that day over dinner, in such great and vivid detail it would almost make you wonder if he was even allowed to talk about all of that.

And- highly unsuitable for kids, of course. Vincent could perfectly recall many occasions in which he’d ended up with nightmares because of the overly graphic stories of his asshole cop of a father, and to say he cared about his old man would be a fat fucking lie. It’s why he had not bothered to try and stay in touch with his parents, after he had left home.

But he knew that if Richard had been fired for whatever reason, he would not have put the blame on any of his kids. And he knew- it had happened before, when his brother Jason had suddenly left home when Vincent was twelve- he knew he would never accuse them of abandoning the family, even if they were to leave in a hurry, even if they would never call again.

But at the same time, if Richard had been in Matvey’s position, doing what he did- endangering Vincent’s friends, seemingly hunting them down for sports- Vincent would not have hesitated to deal with him the easy way.

It was a complicated situation. Vincent did not know all the details on Vitali and Matvey’s relationship and from what he could gather it was a lot more complicated than he had initially assumed. If it had been up to Vincent, he would have already pulled the trigger-

But it was not up to him. At the end of the day, Vitali was still his boss- but he was also his boyfriend, his best friend. Vincent had no right to make that decision for him.

He bit the inside of his lip and briefly glanced behind him at the warehouse. He noticed several cars driving in their direction and he immediately reached for his weapon again, readying himself for another fight- but the cars stopped at the warehouse and the mercs who had still been inside left the building.

Matvey was nowhere to be seen.

It would be so easy- so easy to turn back and go back inside, attack him when he’s all by himself- but when Vincent looked back at Vitali and noticed his clenched, shaking fists and the thousand yard stare plastered on his face, he knew it was of no use to try and suggest it to him.

So instead he jogged up to him and gently took his hand again, thumb reassuringly running over the back of his hand as he gave it a light squeeze, and he allowed Vitali to slightly lean in to him while they walked for support.

‘We got what we came for,’ he quietly said, leaning in to give Vitali a kiss on his cheek. ‘It’s over- for now.’

‘I don’t know,’ Vitali quietly replied. He briefly looked at Vincent, but was unable to hold his gaze and he quickly turned his head again, eyes wandering off to the distance as a shallow exhale left his chest.

‘I have a bad feeling about this.’

Vitali’s head hurt.

They’d arrived at a rendezvous a few minutes ago- a small apartment in Japantown, sometimes used as a safehouse by Vitali’s mercs- and had reunited with Shiro, Huxley and Panam and her squad. Viktor had sat himself down on the couch the moment they’d entered and had not moved since; and Vincent was in the kitchen, slowly trying to wash some dried up blood off his arms.

Had Vitali been a little more present, he would have helped him.

But he was lost inside his own thoughts, standing at the window and staring down onto the busy streets as his eyes darted from the left to the right, looking- searching, for anything out of the ordinary, anything that would tell him his father’s mercenaries had decided to get back to work.

It had all stopped, after they had visited the warehouse. Lauren had reported back to Vitali, telling him the ongoing confrontations had stopped and she was gathering footage of the sudden retreat, to hopefully be able to trace it all to a single location for their next move; whatever that would be.

He was cold.

Freezing, actually- it was a decent temperature outside and the apartment was full enough at the time to warm up by itself, yet Vitali found himself shivering and he could barely feel his fingertips.

He did not understand Matvey’s anger. It was unreasonable to the point Vitali could barely believe he was awake; truly all of this, because he had left home? Because his parents had been fired, indirectly because of him?

He took everything from us.

A soft, sudden scoff left Vitali’s lips, startling himself. Everything- yet money-wise Matvey was still doing just fine, business-wise too, and despite it all he still had his wife and daughter.

Was he truly so blinded by his hatred for Vitali to see?

‘Fuck you,’ Vitali mumbled to nobody in particular and dropped his head against the cold glass of the window with a little bit more force than he had meant for. ‘All I ever did was try.’

Words he wished he could say to him. Words he wished he could have said to him a long time ago; but he had simply never been able to, whether it was because he was too afraid or because Matvey wasn’t listening or because he just wasn’t there.

All he had ever done was try, and now he was doubting it. Had any of it been worth it? Was it still worth it? Wouldn’t it be easier to just give up?

But what would happen then? Vitali still had his friends relying on him; he still had his business to take care of, and the Council was also still there, expecting him to take care of his responsibilities despite rarely taking care of their own. Would he move on, pretend nothing was happening?

How many more people would get injured? How many more people would die?

Vitali turned his head to look at Viktor. He still hadn’t moved- leaning back into the cushions, head resting on top, eyes fixed on the ceiling- expression unreadable, but Vitali knew he was mostly just trying to catch his breath.

He had punched Matvey. It’d given Vitali a visceral reaction- but he was unsure why.

He kept his eyes on the ripperdoc as the events from earlier began replaying in his head. He did not understand why Matvey had let them walk away again; did not understand why it had been so easy to get him to stop. He doubted Matvey had been so moved by what Vitali had said to him that it had changed his mind- no, it had all been planned, like a game of chess, once again one step ahead of him-

But for what? Why had it been so easy?

Vitali felt his heartbeat begin to speed up again and quickly redirected his attention to the TV, biting the inside of his cheek until he tasted blood. But if anything, it made him feel worse; the news was showing footage of the attacks of earlier that day and his stomach turned.

A fixer, dead. Plenty of mercenaries as well- some well-known names even, though Vitali had not even bothered to ask who the fixer in question was. Nobody on the Council at least- he wouldn’t have stopped hearing about it if so.

He knew Matvey had bigger plans for all of Night City, yet for some reason he still felt responsible. It was still his father, after all- but at the same time his father’s problems with the city were not Vitali’s fault. Not in the slightest.

The others were talking too loud. Too much noise surrounding him- and his breath got caught in his throat and his eyes started burning again, tears welling up in the corners as his environment finally overwhelmed him to the point he felt like he was going to either throw up or pass out.

No situation had ever done this to him before. The aftermath of the Heist came close; yet somehow this was worse, much worse, and drawing comparisons with the failed gig from the year before was not helping either.

‘Vitali? I think you should…turn on the TV for a sec.’

Vitali blinked upon hearing Lauren’s voice and he quickly regained himself, exhaling sharply as he pushed the thoughts out of his head. He walked over to the coffee table, then grabbed the remote and turned up the volume. The second he did, the others all went quiet instantly and directed their attention to it as well.

‘Lauren, what’s happening? Talk to me,’ Vitali said, not patient enough to try and piece the situation together from listening to the reporter.

‘NCPD’s investigating the attacks, MaxTac on the scene as well,’ Lauren quickly replied. ‘Looking into the source of the problem- where the mercs are coming from.’

A silence washed over the room and the puzzle pieces slowly began clicking together in Vitali’s head, and a sharp exhale left his body as he stumbled back until he hit the wall next to the window he’d been standing at.

‘They don’t have much to go on, but the Council does,’ Lauren quietly continued. ‘Pickin’ up chatter from within the network- lots of your old mercenaries, right?’

She did not need to say more, really.

‘They’re tracing the attacks back to you, jefe.’

No.

Vitali shook his head, as if Lauren could see him; as if it would change anything; as if it would set everything right. And he laughed- truly it was just a joke, right? The Council couldn’t really believe that he was behind all this; why would they?

He looked at his friends, and the smile faded from his face. They were all looking at him- some worried- some scared.

Were they scared of him?

‘What are they saying?’ Vitali quietly asked, eyes finding Vincent’s; his boyfriend could not hold his gaze and quickly looked away.

‘Talkin’ about your time with Arasaka. Both when you worked for them, and- last year. I get the sense they don’t know what happened there. Don’t know about the brainwashing.’

‘Rogue knows, she was there!’ A pause, a deep breath. No need to raise his voice. ‘I- I’m sorry. Can you connect me through?’

‘Don’t think so. It’s not a direct connection- just tellin’ you what I’m picking up “he-said-that-she-said” style. I can ping them to arrange a meeting, if you’d like?’

Vitali was no longer able to answer her.

He took everything from us.

He slowly walked forward, eyes still locked on the TV screen as it showed him footage of the burning docks of Wellsprings. Each step he took, his leg protested painfully, and he nearly lost his balance a couple of times.

The Council blaming Vitali for these attacks would have dire consequences for him, and he was well aware. The sole purpose of the gathering of fixers was to ensure the safety of the innocent people of Night City, and if they believed Vitali was behind the attacks they would put a price on his head.

He would lose everything.

‘He isn’t trying to kill you,’ Viktor suddenly quietly said, and Vitali couldn’t stop a single tear from rolling down his cheek.

‘He’s trying to take everything away from you.’

[crooked-wasteland]

Stolen from @pinkandpurple360 anonymous ask.

"Blitz still has a long way to go with character development”

That's great. I can't wait to never see it.

This was an issue I tried working into my Fizzarolli Dissection but it kept feeling less about the character and more an overarching writing issue, so let's just take it here.

Every bit of character development in the series is inconsistent or entirely spontaneous. Stolas being in love with Blitz seemed like a slow burn until out of nowhere in Ozzie's he is so head over heels for Blitz in specific. Asking why Blitz only now is asking him out "after all this time", like he has been waiting on and expecting it despite that never being a thought towards their dynamic before. Going from being entirely obsessed with their sexual contract and seeing Blitz as a sex object to suddenly wanting cuddles on the couch with no strings attached?

That change was never shown in the series. It was never developed. There is no character growth, they merely are different to suit the new direction to the plot.

So again, I'm so glad Blitz has more character development to go through, can't wait for it all to be implied off screen like every other ounce of character we've been gaslight into believing has "grown".

If you never show it on screen, the dynamic, the relationship, the change, it never happened. Loona at the end of Queen Bee seems to get closer to Blitz but the next time we see her she's trying to assault him. We never saw any moment of change following the end of Queen Bee where we felt her character actually develop. Even after calling Blitz dad in the episode, she ignores him in favor of strangers at the party. She expressed clear disgust with Blitz before leaving with him, and her mild softening towards him at the end could just as easily be seen as nothing at all as it could be a character growth.

However growth requires reinforcement. If you never reinforce that moment meant something, it isn't growth, it's a cheap emotional scene to get a reaction from an audience. A short scene of Loona simply telling Blitz good morning to show some kind of change was all that was needed, but it was not as important to establish change in the characters as it was to have the most cringe scene in existence. Priorities.

One of the biggest issues with the series is how blatant the meta agenda of the writing is. They never allow the space to establish characters or change, instead citing these one off moments as ���proof” of story when they do not amount to anything at all. There is unfortunately a distinct difference between a story and a scene, and it is painfully obvious by how Medrano and Nylan utilize these scenes that it is entirely for a superficial effect.

The relationship between Fizzarolli and Blitz similarly is extremely vapid and has no foundation to establish what their dynamic actually was growing up. Additionally, the two scenes of them being younger are fundamentally contradictory. Younger Fizz from The Circus is assertive and confrontational. He threatens to punch Blitz for being annoying and not playing the way he wants to play. He's bossy without necessarily being mean and not only knows he's popular, but also how to utilize it as manipulation, seen in how he draws attention to himself to spare Blitz the embarrassment of his failed joke. This Fizzarolli actually lines up also with the Fizz from Ozzie's. It's hard to claim that Ozzie's Fizz was "just an act" when as a literal child he has all the same traits

Then in the Special he is insecure, timid, has very little self esteem and is an anxious people pleaser with a mousy voice. There is nothing to establish this as the same person at all, and all the narrative context clues around his popularity does not support the direction of change this character has experienced. Fizzarolli has only gotten bigger between being what appears to be six years old and what I can only assume to be thirteen based on his cracking pubescent voice and gangly limbs. All we can go on is context clues and extrapolation, but arguing of a non-existent event that humbled Fizzarolli to this extent, while maintaining his stardom prior to ever meeting Mammon, is founded on nothing, when there is a much simpler answer.

His whole personality has taken a 180 turn for the sole purpose of the episode’s narrative. Fizzarolli being the pathetic whump he is in the episode is not founded anywhere else in the show, but we need that so people feel bad for him. There is no confidence in this writing. It shows that instead of believing the character is likeable as a whole for a complex personality, the only way anyone will like him is if he is just the softest jellybean in the bunch.

It is only this way because it suits the episode right here and now. And when his character changes, it isn't founded on any concrete narrative of growth and actions having consequences, but on what the writers need to get the audience to feel a certain way. So I say it again:

That's nice, I can't wait to never see it.

[libraford]

Idk maybe it's because I'm autistic and don't get how things are supposed to work (I also haven't been able to work for over a decade due to disability so take this all with a heap of salt) but it feels like she needs someone to blame for problems.

You said last year there were three leads but this year you're doing the work of three on your own. Did they quit or get fired? Maybe someone else was the assigned "problem child" last year? But the fact that you didn't get any useful feedback at the times problems supposedly happened and they continued using your work...it just reads like a power trip on her end tbh

One of them left to become a veterinarian and do photography on the side. The other one of them left because there was a pretty big death in the family and also oldest kid was going through his senior year. Both have said that they might come back, but so far neither of them have committed.

The two of them were nearly perfect leads. Like they did all the paperwork properly and had all the details right and they didn't rush and they rarely did anything wrong.

Except when they did. And since I learned from one of them, I learned on all of her mistakes.

So I've had to be retrained.

Again and again and again.

There would typically only be one lead per job, so its not like I'm doing the work of three people the way I was doing the work of like... 7 people at the flower shop. I am still doing the work of one person, but I am doing it every day instead of only two to three times a week.

So the mistakes I learned are more obvious now and I am put in positions where previously I was not, like having to call as soon as there's a problem- because previously I was not often having these problems. I get dinged for not following procedure for this.

She tried training me on groups last year, but every time there was a chance to learn on the job something interrupted it. The first time it was because the person we had doing individuals was going painfully slowly and she had me set up my unit to clear out the bottleneck. The second time it was because our individuals photographer went into labor.

So I've been trained wrong on a bunch of things and had to be retrained. Attempts to train me properly have been interrupted, but she thinks that I received proper training and that I should be good to go.

So I do it. And I do it wrong. Over and over again.

And then I get the critique and there is disagreement between my boss and her boss about how I'm supposed to have done it.

And then I try again. And there's disagreement between my boss and me about how I was supposed to do it.

So my spirit is fuckin' crushed lately and I just want to get to the end of the season but of course there's YET ANOTHER critique at the end of the year where she says I'm bad at receiving critique when I've had to be retrained several times in several different areas, and she claims that NOTHING HAS CHANGED FROM MY INITIAL TRAINING even though documentably it HAS, which makes me feel like a fucking crazy person for suggesting that its hard to keep up with the changes sometimes.

And she says she's tired of arguing with me about how things are supposed to be done when I'm supposed to KNOW how things are done by now because this is my THIRD year in the business and why am I so argumentative?

At the last groups job, I asked her to help be out a little bit and check my work to make sure I was doing it right. I wasn't even done with the first group and she jumps in and tells me my numbers are wrong, changes it all and that's how we found that the guides were different. But when I talk to her about what made me mad there, she has a different story- she says that I did 2 or 3 classes wrong before she jumped in. Which is not what happened to my recollection.

I've asked her to take a more passive role and she got mad at me because she swears that she did take a passive role and now I'm being inconsistent- because I asked her for help and now I'm asking her not to get her hands in it. So now I'm confused again because I remember that day completely differently, and when I asked the rest of the crew they said that she was being pushy. Once she left and I was on my own, I did fine- but being unable to even get through a whole class without her jumping in to save the day kind of crushed me.

So I think she's misremembering a LOT. And making it my problem for bringing up inconsistencies, confusions, and changes. Either that or I have worse memory problems than I thought I did.

And now I'm being told that I go too fast. Because there were days last season where we were done an entire hour earlier than we were supposed to be. And I asked her- did people complain? Were my photos bad because I was fast?

No, no one complained. We had less retakes this year than we did any year.

If no one complained, then the problem is that I'm not taking time with the students to get the perfect photo. The problem is that you don't think I could possibly be that good and that fast at the same time. But if a kid only needs thirty seconds to get the pose, why should I take more time than is needed?

My photos have improved significantly from my first year. Oh my god, they've improved so much. But I'm struggling to learn a new, complicated thing for which I've gotten mixed messages and not gotten a lot of consistent guidance on.

And because I get confused when something is different from what was described, I am told that I can't take criticism.

Well yeah, no- if that's the criticism you've got for me, no I can't take criticism.

[melodiousmonsters]

I'm just going to start talking about my celestials each month to give you all some low effort and fun(for me) content. Also doing full illustrations of them as well, with some design notes at the end.

My interpretation of loodvigg, named Fhobia Denta Latrostratous (they're one of the three celstials with a full name at the moment) is a fair bit different from other's interpretations of it for extremely personal reasons. They're a tad bit strange, and creepy looking, but overall they are a compassionate (in their own strange way, like almost everything about them) and creative individual that's held as a role model for all shadowkind. They also have a lavender colored ring around their pupils so their eyes aren't fully pink, which is the main difference from the cannon loodvigg, along with the subtly different feathers, lower body, markings on the abdomen, and scales on the arms.

They are generally unexpressive (tonealy, the main way monsters express their emotions) yet VERY emotional. Over the years they gradually became more in control of their emotions due to sheer life experience, but they are still a little more irrational and driven by emotion than most of the other celestials.

They hate being touched, loud sudden/repetitive noises, math, people or things that get too into the meaning of art and other stuff like that, and the texture of a few things like fish meat or coarse fabrics. There are very few things they have a neutral opinion on, one of which is the taste of blood by itself.

They love keeping up their appearance in most situations, for example, their hair isn't naturally like that, they use their saliva like hair jell and specifically style it to look like that, also they would be absolutely rancid smelling and filthy with their diet of fresh meat and preferred locals of wet warm caves. They spend a lot of time cleaning themselves, which is extremely rare for monsters. They also like eating more than your average monster, they eat like a toddler because of how preoccupied with eating they get, collecting/making taxidermy and other oddities, and all critters, especially invertebrates though.

They are majorly interested in biological sciences, specifically preservation and taxonomy. They gave the celestials and dof era monsters/critters their scientific names(no I don't have scientific names for the celestials yet, I've kinda ran out of ideas for scientific names tbh). They happen to spend a lot of their time in a very large cave network with a lot of different types of caves that make good enclosures for keeping critters to study.

They care a lot about the other celestials as they are siblings and gets very angry if something bad happens to them, only if they feel it's undeserved, their empathy is a bit wacky and  inconsistent.

Also most shadow monsters tend to share in its odd mannerisms, sometimes the behaviors show up in completely non shadow affiliated monsters and no one knows why.

Disclaimer (I think that's the right word), yes you guessed right, Fhobia and the large majority of the shadow monsters are autistic, the term isn't used in universe as the monsters don't have a word for autism as they aren't that into psychology and "the way that monster is" has worked in place of a proper word historically, monsters aren't into categorizing others.

as for design notes and process here it is! all the stuff in red boxes are final.

[ladyluscinia]

Izzy, Bottles, and Apologies

Izzy's arc in S2 has been a wild ride.

The S1 Izzy enjoyers are feeling vindicated as hell, many people are fully revising their opinion of him, and the people still hating him have a new criticism or off the wall theory daily. David Jenkins LOVES Izzy and is having the time of his life trying to make sure everyone else does too. They had Con O'Neill sing in drag!

And naturally I have thoughts.

This is gonna be a two part post, I think. First, as much as people are celebrating Izzy having realized his arc and come into his own - from the singing to the apparent BlackBonnet shipping - there are some threads they could pull on that might reveal more arc to come. And I am really hoping they pull them, so I'm gonna tell you why you should too!

And second, I have some minor points I dislike and concerns that this might be the end of the arc. Which would be disappointing but I think I get why, so I'm gonna discuss that too.

To start...

---

"How are you handling all this so well?"

Here's the thing about S2 Izzy - while I need to be clear his behavior is not OOC or inconsistent with S1, it is happening rather fast. I'm pretty sure that has a lot to do with out of universe reasons I'll get into later, but in-universe it stands out. Now, he's hardly the only one operating on an accelerated schedule - the timeline for this season is an insanely fast not-even-two-weeks - but Izzy's defining struggle in S1 was fear of change. That was the cause of his friction with Edward, and what made him an antagonist in the first place.

In S2 he's gone through a lot of trauma, yes, but that fear is noticeably less present than I would expect.

Izzy in 2x06 has been cleaned up from his sobbing mess phase for just over 48 hours and he faces Edward with a joke, and then that night sings a moving French serenade to the crew. The next morning he's teasing them about finally hooking up and spends the day offering both Stede and Edward relationship advice.

He's a newly realized man... shedding repression and embracing who he could be. Accepting his breakup with Edward and trying to openly support the relationship that's better for him.

It's fun!

It's also, potentially, a bit of a flag. Maybe not a red one, not yet, but... pink-ish? A bit orange?

Let's look a little closer at those frayed edges.

---

"Well, you see, I have a system..."

There's an exchange from right at the start of the Pilot episode that has echoed through the entire series so far:

"Bottle it up?" -> "No, Frenchie! No, that's the worst thing you could do!"

Not talking to other people, not addressing your traumas... that's the kind of shit that just builds and builds inside you. When the cork eventually pops, the resulting damage can be a lot. Look at the finale of S1, where all of Stede's bottled up guilt and insecurities laid waste to his relationship with Edward, and then inadvertently became the first domino in the Kraken.

S2 is quick to bring this scene back into the forefront. The first time we see the Breakup Boat crew talking in 2x01, Frenchie reveals that "Bottle it up?" wasn't just a random comment he made, but a philosophy of his:

"Ah - well, you see, I have a system for dealing with all the terrible things I've seen. There's a box, in my mind, and I put the things in the box, I lock the box, and then I don't open it again. Works like a charm."

Apparently, Frenchie is the only one it actually seems to be working for.

Now, the show has been drawing some interesting lines between Frenchie and Izzy. From both serving as Blackbeard's First Mate to being frequently shown as a duo - tormenting Navy guys together on Sunday's raid, Frenchie holding Izzy's hand, Frenchie leaning on Izzy's leg in the cell, Frenchie behind him raising the flag in 2x05 - it's fitting that Izzy echoes Frenchie's preferred coping method. First he frames the non-acknowledgement of harm from Edward as just... part of piracy. He's a pirate, so he's fine with it.

And then we get Izzy's little whittled shark reveal and the conversation with Lucius about his leg:

"I don't know what you're talking about. Shark did this... dangling my legs over the side of the ship. Served me right, too."

Lucius calls him out on the unhealthy behavior, and Izzy concedes his point:

"O-kay, that seems healthy. Using a bit of fiction to help cover up your trauma." -> "Yeah, well... not moving on is worse. Twatty."

And to give him credit, he's right in his advice to Lucius. Filling his sketchbook with pages and pages of Blackbeard trauma is Lucius's form of bottling it up - thinking in endless recursive circles about his tumble off the ship and everything that followed. We already know chasing revenge instead of living is bad - Jim and Spanish Jackie established it last season, and Pete just echoed them. When Izzy advises Lucius to move on, that's what Lucius does.

But what Izzy is doing with the shark? That's not the same thing at all. He's lost a leg, grazed a bullet off his own head, and was snarling drunken accusations at himself in the mirror... he's not moving on from that. He's bottling it up with a nice dose of self-blame.

Cutting the legs off the unicorn for not doing it's job right and saying "served me right" about his fictional shark? There's a real dark knot of emotions there.

(Recall, too, that Edward deflected his hurt from Stede's abandonment into a "fictional character" during his chats with Lucius, and that delayed the explosion but couldn't stop it.)

So... Izzy's definitely coping with trauma in a way the show does not advise and often circles back to. Can we see any signs in 2x06 and 2x07?

---

The Weight of Things Unsaid

At the very start of 2x06, Izzy gets the thing he spent all of 2x05 mentally bracing himself to never hear - an apology from Edward for his leg. He walks up to initiate conversation and begins talking like nothing has changed. Edward is back in his leathers. Appropriate, given that his penance onesie was nothing genuine, just "how long do I have to wear this fucking thing for?" And Izzy is ready for them not to address the obvious hurt, to just smooth over a few jabs and go back to normal... but even Edward's mumbled little "Sorry about your leg" is so significant and difficult he flees as soon as he gets it out, leaving Izzy to sit, incredulous, with the acknowledgement.

It's still almost definitely not enough.

There was so much between them in 2x01 - 2x03. The writers literally did BlackHands love confessions on both sides. An apology from Edward Teach - a man who historically does not apologize - is a huge first step but still only the first step. The real things unsaid are so much bigger than a leg.

We get something else, too... Edward commenting on Izzy's drinking.

"Jesus. Really putting that away, aren't ya?"

Izzy has had booze a lot this season. He lost a leg and pain meds aren't really an option, so not surprising, but notable. Edward, advocating for substance abuse to deal with bad feelings, calls him a lightweight in 2x01. When they are found with the dead seabird in 2x03, Izzy takes a pointed drink from his bottle, and then 2x04 he spends the entire episode completely plastered. He seemingly sobered up for 2x05 - probably to focus on sword training and his whittling project - but now the bottle is back again before Izzy disappears for several hours.

And a little liquid courage might explain his going all in for the Calypso's Birthday performance.

I do appreciate that the performance on it's face is something completely unexpected for Izzy, but when thinking about it... it does make sense.

We already know music and performance were available on Blackbeard's ship even before Stede. Edward learned to play shanties on the piano somewhere, and singing is a common and encouraged part of sailing culture. Izzy's choice of song to perform is something a lot more emotional, but this is probably not his first performance for a crew.

Makeup, too, is in fashion for men and women at this time, and OFMD has shown it as such before. Izzy has never worn fashion makeup, or tried to be beautiful, but the concept wouldn't be alien to him. Wee John's description of a dramatic party look might even have intrigued him specifically because Izzy has actually done "looks" before - of the terrifying "theatre of fear" kind. The Kraken did have his whole crew in makeup for their raids. Taking the opportunity to embody something a bit more vulnerable and try to bring joy to this crew that took care of him is meaningful as fuck.

And it's still a drag performance!

It's a good pair of moments - before and after Ned. Proof that all this isn't just coping method - that's not what I'm arguing here - and even if Izzy's still bottling up a lot of feelings he's not doing the same full pressure bomb thing as he did in S1. There's been growth!

(This is why the flags are only pink-ish / orange-ish right now.)

Episode 2x07 though... I'm not so sure he's doing good as much as pretending it's all good.

Showing up to make his joke in the morning is a fun moment. I especially enjoy Edward's little "fuck off" with no bite to it 🤣🤣🤣 Reminder they do live together on a ship, so this is likely not even close to the first morning-after that Izzy has gotten front row seats to. But, at least to me, there's also a very performative feeling about it. Izzy being very Look how normal I can be about you fucking your boyfriend, Ed - and Edward picks up on it too. That's why he turns to Stede and whispers "He's jealous" as Izzy walks away.

Izzy continues to make jokes and give advice through the day to our main couple, but he's... subdued. I think his fake chill also disguises that he and Edward aren't on the same page about what they discuss at the docks, hence his poor advice to "listen to it" when the "it" in question is Edward's immediate desire to run away from Stede and become a fisherman. They are talking again, but haven't resumed communicating.

I also think it's relevant that Izzy goes to try and support Stede after Edward dumps him, because we're still waiting for Stede to stop bottling things up. He doesn't talk about Badminton or feelings of inadequacy or even the babiest little olive branch to Edward about "hey my dad kinda sucked too." Edward's two exes are sitting in the bar corner together, thinking about all the shit they won't talk to him about until it kills all three of them. Exciting!

The pressure is building. It has to circle back to Stede in S3. I'm hoping at the same time, it circles back to Izzy, too.

Hoping we get to explore some of his anxiety, and his internalizing negative self-image and blame. At the moment, I think Izzy might have less gotten over his anxieties and more just let go of the wheel of his life entirely, and fortunately had people around to steer him in okay directions. It would be really interesting to explore that more.

(Even if I have some concerns they may not.)

---

Subtle as a Cannonball to the Face

Izzy's character arc was always going to be a long journey - not because he was somehow morally worse than everyone else, or required particularly painstaking growth, or even because there was going to be some great need to "hold him accountable" for S1. No, it was going to be a long journey from an antagonist start for the same reason I mentioned earlier: Izzy's core struggle is fear of change.

OFMD opens with two protagonists recklessly pursuing change in ways that harm themselves, their relationships, and others, and a primary onscreen antagonist resisting change in a way that harms himself, his relationships, and others. There's no easy morality here - they all fuck up. And they all require the entire show to actually figure out the correct balance of change and growth and facing the past.

"I think the three of them are on an arc together that's pretty inseparable." - David Jenkins (Source, 9 Oct 2023)

So... why is there a chance that everything I've mentioned above is going absolutely nowhere and Izzy's arc has been wrapped up with a bow in S2?

Well.

It's late March 2022, the fandom's age is still only countable in weeks, I personally haven't even watched the pilot yet, had only even heard of the show 3 days before... and one of David Jenkins first post-finale statements is telling people to pay attention to Izzy's POV and his and Edward's love story on rewatches (Source, 25 Mar 2022), and then soon after comparing Stede to a homewrecker in Edward and Izzy's toxic marriage (Source, 15 Apr 2022). Lots of links because this stuff was available to the fandom from the start.

By the first half of May 2022 (while poor Mr. Jenkins is still anxiously trying to get his series renewed for S2, since the confirmation won't come until June 1) the takes on Izzy have soured a lot. It's not a "homophobic gay" joke anymore. Now it's "Izzy is the embodiment of colonialism who enforces a racist and homophobic ideal of Blackbeard on Edward" and "pretending Izzy could be canonically gay is homophobic" and "Izzy bought Edward as a slave from the British". Harassing anons have already started on tumblr. No first hand experience with Twitter but I've heard horror stories. These takes are spreading like wildfire through the fandom, with a heavy backing of white fans accepting and spreading anything that sounds vaguely racially-conscious as something they just missed in their privilege and need to listen to POC about. Or listen to other white fans that say they've been listening to POC.

The anchor hoist in 1x09 (that was a complete directing coincidence, as the crew confirmed in late May) is being taken as incontrovertible proof that Izzy is a violent racist, and the relatively small Izzy fandom pushing back against any of these reads is being likened to toxic fangirls declaring Kylo Ren a poor widdle victim because they think violent white guys are so hot their brains fall out. This is happening loudly and in the public forums of social media.

Can you imagine being David Jenkins right then?

This is one of your favorite little guys, who you wrote a silly little homoerotic pirate jealousy arc for. He's kinda cringefail and tends to be a dick, but you cast a guy who you think embodies him with so much sympathy and genuine emotion. You're so excited to explore his direct relationship to the main couple of your series even more. Unfortunately, you and a lot of the cast and crew are also engaging maybe a bit too much in fandom spaces, which very few of you have much familiarity with navigating as creators. AND there's still renewal stress!

If I were him, I too would consider that perhaps my intended Izzy arc was a bit too nuanced and drawn out, and maybe I needed to clear up some misconceptions as soon as I got the opportunity.

Enter S2.

MAX reduced the budget for the season significantly and it shows - particularly in the whole thing having to squeeze into 8 episodes - and I wouldn't be surprised at all if worries over a S3 renewal / S3 budget impacted S2 writing as well. Character arcs got pinched, goals had to be prioritized... and from the looks of the season, "make sure everyone knows Izzy is not a homophobic villain tormenting Edward as fast as possible" came out as a big goal.

I mean they open with a dream sequence that literally mocks the idea of a heroic Stede rescuing Edward from the dastardly Izzy. It's not subtle.

And the lack of subtlety is kind of what's concerning me.

Izzy's arc is (I think) leaving enough threads that they can extend it into S3 with the reveal he's not actually fine and done developing, but they also seem to want his S2 arc to end in a place where maybe he is. Lots of giant signs pointing to him and saying "Look! Everyone likes him!" or "Look! He's also gay!" at the expense of some of his cringefail or dickish charm. My guy had anxiety he dealt with poorly in S1, and I do think they are trying to frontload or adjust the arc so he's basically (or at least seemingly) over that before the next hiatus.

The best way I've seen it described is that the show no longer trusts the audience to pick up what they are putting down, and so they feel the need to really hammer it in. Not necessarily OOC, but definitely de-emphasizing any of his rough edges that were originally just written to not be any worse than the other characters.

This is why Izzy gets shot by Edward in the very first episode for a bunch of complicated reasons that are really good character work and not super hard to discern, but then later they have Izzy point out to Stede why he got shot twice. It's all very "look into the camera and say the themes", because to some degree they are afraid everyone is going to get easily convinced Edward shot him for calling him a namby-pamby that one time.

It makes me worried they are too afraid of misinterpretation to commit to the arc they originally conceived of, even with the finish line in sight in S3.

And, again, I get it, Mr. Jenkins. In October 2022 he made a funny quip and a boner joke on a tweet about Edward's blanket fort and the hordes descended to scream victoriously about how he was cutting down the Izzy stans for their racist infantilization crimes of thinking Izzy would *checks notes* help hold up a blanket. It's a very reasonable conclusion that this fandom cannot read and needs to be spoonfed Izzy's arc.

It just sucks that a toxic section of fandom's misinterpretations appear to have undercut a strong - and, honestly, not that complicated - character arc so much that S2's BlackBonnet arc can be about fuck ups and backsliding, but Izzy needs at least the illusion of having no flaws left come hiatus time.

[v-arbellanaris]

so!!! i've talked a bit abt why i think rook might be part of the executors, but let me elaborate some more:

FIRSTLY, i thought that harding and varric were actually in kirkwall in the teaser - based off the architecture, and things like that - but thinking on it a day later, i think the little slave statues + the qunari architecture i noted here does support the idea that this is minrathous...

the first mentions of the executors as a group that we hear about is in inquisition - there's a whole wartable questline that, if you follow with leliana, shows the inquisition tracks the executors to a location in tevinter (though not minrathous specifically) until the executors ask the inquisitor to call leliana off.

BUTTTTT. absolution ended on kirkwall, and red templars in kirkwall having a new red lyrium source, and these guys in the beginning of the teaser are carrying red lyrium weapons and wearing red lyrium-embedded armour, so it COULD (to me) still be kirkwall and rook could STILL be an executor....

there's also another mention of the executors in varric's wartable questline in da:i, where you investigate someone who is writing sequels to the hard in hightown books, who is not him. in the process of investigating this hack writer, you find that a magistrate is the courier getting these books out of kirkwall - but by the time you investigate him, he's found dead and stuffed in a closet with a knife in his back, just like out of a scene in varric's book. investigating the murder further leads to a break-in at skyhold where someone leaves a letter like this:

'YOU ENCROACH UPON THE DOMAIN OF HIGHER POWERS. YOU WILL ANSWER TO US.' The letter is unsigned, except for a wax seal depicting six crossed swords.

leliana investigates the scene in the book and cross-references it with the murder and finds inconsistencies in the scene. it's at this point that we find out that there's a mention of the executors in varric's hard in hightown:

"Well, this doesn't look very interesting at all." Maysie frowned, disappointed. " 'What you have claimed belongs to greater powers. You will answer to us.' That's a lot of rubbish." ... "Oh, it's the Executors, of course!" Maysie peered excitedly at the wax seal, holding it up to the window for better light. "I should have guessed it from the silly 'great powers' nonsense. There's only been one example, on the letter claiming responsibility for the assassination of Queen Madrigal in 5:99! And this one is so much better! Just look at that imprint!" "Any idea how I'd contact these 'Executors'?" Donnen asked. "Oh, they're not real, of course. Everyone knows that."

additionally, the rip-off book consists of a lot of errors, and these errors seem to be a double-encrypted cipher. eventually, you crack the code, and it leads you to worthy, the runes guy in hightown, and it seems to conclude that he was both the killer and the author. HOWEVER, worthy himself says he didn't send the letter to skyhold, and i do wonder WHY worthy would lead a trail back to himself - especially since he has a whole little scooby doo villain line abt how he would've gotten away with it, if it wasn't for the inquisitor. so what if he didn't, and the executors really had gotten involved somehow and possibly assassinated the magistrate, and this whole thing was a ruse to cover up that murder? AAAAAAA

edit: as i'm writing this post, i just saw a sneak peak of the trailer which does seem to confirm early-game minrathous setting! i don't think this EXCLUDES rook from being an executor at all, nor does it necessarily mean he is not a kirkwall-based executor, but either way, the executors seem to have a presence in both areas!!! so!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA continues!!!!!

DOUBLE EDIT: I ALSO FORGOT TO MENTION i think it's kind of weird we keep running into this faction and bioware keeps writing ways for us to NOT find out more about them as a group of people and i dont THINK we've actually seen them as a group in the trailer yet (i feel like ive seen venatori and POTENTIALLY red templars, unless im horribly wrong BUT I DONT THINK I AM because of the templars/andruil parallels around hunting!!!!!!!! and the probably link between andruil and the origins of the blight!!!) which makes the most sense if WE'RE GONNA FIND OUT ABT THEM AS AN EXECUTOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[alicentsecretstan]

So if you are not team green from the books why are you now?

Well If i get the meaning your question anon, a short answer for your that would be:

Long answer would be:

Well, first, I am Team Green, doesn't mean I hate every character on TB. I do like Daemon as character, sure I don't think he is internet boyfriend. But I do think he is a very compelling character. And besides Aegon, he is the second character with most potential for development. Especially when Nettles come to picture. If the Ryan has balls enough, she could much be the Brienne of Daemon.

Even Rhaenyra, in the sense of her own tragic narrative. Like, ok Ryan is not inventing the wheel with her character, literature is full of kings that are legitimate heirs to the throne that end up loosing power and going crazy over their own self destructive behavior.

And look I even admit would be so much easier to be TB, like even before I watched the show, all my friends are TB, and I knew how TG ends. But when I started watching it, I star to love Team Green. They are just better writing characters, and their dinamics are more nuanced and compelling .

I really found fascinating how Otto actually care about the kingdom, but at the same time has ambitions and uses this to justify in his head selling his own daughter to king, like he loves her but as well, is interesting how he justify his behavior on his own head.

Meanwhile Alicent is such cunning and compelling character, to me she maybe the most complex character of the show. She has so much nuance, I could write forever about her character. The way she connects the best part of herself with her mother, meanwhile also she does become more and more alike to her father creating identity crisis. And that is just touching the surface with her.

And then part 2 dropped and consolidated that for me. Rhaenyra, which was some out compelling, becomes inconsistent with the original characterization and is very much a reactive protagonist, only being held together by Emma brilliant acting.

Part 2 where the kids are introduced, the show actually land very well into establish team green kids much better, with nuances and potential. Aegon, a hedonist who drowns himself in drink to avoid responsibility and lack of affection, with the potential to become a reverse Robert. Aemond is a fine warrior who hides his feelings behind his facade and blindfold. Heleana being the misunderstood pure and innocent child.

The kids on TB barely have characterization, Baela and Rhaena in the books are supposed to be similar configurations to Arya and Sansa, but the show doesn't even establish that well, they don't even have internal rationalization.

Why don't Jace or Luke have resentment towards Rhaenyra because of the status of bastards one bit? Fuck even Jon from the show has more nuanced feelings about this subject than they.

Why doesn't Baela feel a little bitter toward a bastard taking a place she is actually more worthy to have in Driftmark? It can't just be because they grew up together, Aemond grew up with Aegon, and still feels more entitled to the throne than Aegon.

Why are Rhaena or Baela so loyal to Rhaenyra and not feel the slightest bit of resentment towards their father for marrying her so quickly after their mother died after years of lack of affection from Daemon?

For me, I can't take the answer into consideration "they love each other and are a loving family" without the writers making me believe that these characters only have two dimensions.

I think that in this sense, Ryan fell into the same mistake as D&D, in an attempt to make these characters more heroic, he took away everything that could make them interesting. And I'm unlikely to like something that reminds me of GOT's bad writing, or bad writing in general.

Anyway, I hope I have answered you anon. And sorry for the ted talk.

[frozenmoonshine]

Headcanon - Tips & Tricks on how to date Sanzu Haruchiyo:

I just wrote this to cope with my unhealthy obsession with this fictional man. He's my absolute favorite TR baby, so forgive me for being shamelessly self indulgent! ...or don't.

If feminine terms of endearment and/or hinted hetero relationship trigger you for any reason, please skip this one. Cheers.

Haru is a lovebug, but that cannot be seen by just anyone. It requires a person with thick, and I mean: THICK nerves and patience to handle him right. He's prone to jealousy, he's headstrong, and he holds his grudges like Mikey's life directly depends on it!

If not handled properly, he will ghost you for days, try to make you jealous, be deliberately mean and controlling/manipulative, or in more extreme cases, turn full on yandere stalker on you! But all of that is triggered by his innate need to be loved and deeply, deeply rooted fear of being abandoned and being less than. So don't make him insecure!

It's highly recommended to build trust with him first, so if you guys start out by being genuine friends first, before you start dating, and then let the things develop naturally from there, there's a lot more chance that he'll open up to you and let you in, and he won't be as afraid of you leaving him or "betraying" him.

Seriously tho, don't leave him! He needs someone to love him, and to love back, way more than he realizes! He desperately needs someone to call "home", someone who will stay, who will accept him, and not judge him for who he is. And who he is deep down is just a soft little baby, that would do anything and everything for his loved one!

Until he gets properly comfortable with you and the fact that someone genuinely cares for him (which is a big challenge for him!) he may occaaionally act inconsistent (not messaging back for hours on end, standing you up for dates, being generally unavailable, etc.) It's either all due to his gang duties, fights, and devotion to Mikey, or simply just his struggle to adapt to love. But you can always be completely certain that he's not cheating!

Why? Because he's simply the type that falls in love for life, stays loyal and faithful even after death does you part (regardless of who dies first), and is so overprotective that it can be too much to deal with sometimes! ("Why is that ugly bitch over there giving you the side eye?! She wants me to explain to her who you are or what?!" - "No one talks like that to my Queen, I'm gonna rip his fucking skeleton apart!" etc.) And yeah, unless you stop him somehow, he will commit homicide just because someone stepped into your lane a bit too rudely for his taste.

Also, once you have successfully conquered his tattered, lonely heart, he would totally call you his Queen, and treat you as such as well. He's a lowkey simp, but a high key gentleman and super respectful in every sense of the word. His manners, albeit a little bit oldschool (legacy of having been brought up by his grandma and Takeomi), are always impeccable! If you didn't know better, you'd easily think he was some rich, spoiled, stuck-up "bocchan".

He'll be very reserved at the beginning of your dating, not exactly shy, but somewhat distant. But he'll never fail to open the door for you, move your chair for you, walk next to the car track making sure you're on the safer side, hold your coat for you or offer his if you don't have one, etc. But even holding hands will only happen after three dates or so.

And the first date is at Cozy Corner, and you guys are getting cheesecakes, it's just a fact, I don't make the rules! Once the relationship gets a bit more established it will become your monthly tradition.

On another negative side of dating Haru, however, be prepared to "share" him with Mikey! Although his attachment to Mikey is not romantic in nature, and Mikey isn't exactly someone to be jealous of in that sense, he will be a significant part of your relationship, as Haru will either talk incessantly about him, or flat our refuse to spend time with you because "Mikey needs him", and to him that is a perfectly valid reason.. But, if you (ideally) share, or (at least) understand his obsession with his King, and support his ambition to be Mikey's right hand man, he'll marry you, no joke!

* * * BONUS * * *

He used to be self conscious about his scars around you at first, not taking the mask off in front of you for 3 whole months of dating. You even "kissed" for the first time over the mask. When you asked him why he always wears it, he tried avoiding the subject at first, but when he realized he can trust you, he admitted he was afraid of your reaction when you see his face (you of course find him nothing less than drop dead gorgeous).

He hates PDA, but is quite affectionate in private, though never smothering. He'll hug you from behind when you're in the kitchen, randomly kiss your temple when you're cuddled up watching a movie together, he always speaks to you in a gentle, loving tone, he rubs small circles on the back of your hand with his thumb when holding hands, he always praises the food you make for him, he tries his best to learn to make your favorites, etc.

When the Kanto Manji-kai started getting seriously corrupted, he tried pushing you away, but you insisted on staying by his side no matter what, and he greatly appreciates you for that. Despite all, you are his safe haven.

In his KMK/early Bonten days, you half-jokingly asked him to teach you to use a sword. He taught you to play shōgi instead. It almost became a weekend tradition for the two of you. Since you started keeping scores, you've been in the lead with 139 wins, over his 137. (He may or may not have let you win on purpose, more than once.) You tease him that it's because he's such a good teacher.

As Bonten's 2nd in command, he's still as loyal to you as always, but you're never his first priority. It's Mikey and Bonten's business, and you know it. However, you can't say you haven't felt jealous of Mikey in some cases. Whenever Mikey calls, Haru will immediately leave, even mid-sex.

He always tries to make it up to you later if Mikey interrupted your time together, tho.

He avoids meeting you on the days when he's had to kill. Not just because he doesn't want to "taint" you, but also because he doesn't like himself when he's high. He'd rather wait for the drugs to wear off before meeting you. If you guys live together, then he'll just spend the day at the Bonten HQ instead.

Once you start living together, he's a godsent to have around the house! You don't have to do any cleaning ever again, his OCD kicks in and your apartment will always be spotlessly clean. He occasionally nags at you to be more tidy tho.

He's even more overprotective as an adult than he was as a teen. if you're going somewhere that is not owned by or affiliated with Bonten, and he can't go with you for whatever reason, you will unavoidably have two of his most trusted subordinates escort you and stay by your side at all times as your bodyguards. And no, he's not trying to contol where you go or what you do, (those two guys basically work for you, not him, at this point, anyway) he just won't leave anything to chance and risk you getting targetted by any of his numerous enemies when he's not around to protect you by himself. When the two of you are together out, he never leaves your side, and always has an arm around your waist or back.

[13eyond13]

I know you write little reviews for the manga you have finished, but can you explain a bit what bothered you about the manga you won’t continue as well, pls?

Haha, sure. I don't do that normally just because I feel it might be a bit of a buzzkill thing to do, particularly to the people who rec'd some of the series to me. I sincerely don't want to hurt anybody's feelings, and please know that I'm always grateful to hear about and to check out new series, even if they don't end up being for me or are simply not my personal taste.

I think my reason for DNFing a manga usually boils down to either (1) the premise/characters just weren't hooking me enough to invest the time in finishing it, or (2) I felt too old for it in some way... I'll quickly run down the ones I've crossed out so far + why I DNF'd them, though :

The Heart of Thomas: it was just a bit too melancholic and depressing to me to want to read the whole thing, I believe

Dear Brother: I have a bit of a squick/hair trigger cringe reflex when it comes to flirtatious and romantic vibes between siblings and other family members in fiction, and this manga seemed to be based almost entirely around that, so I just didn't want to finish the whole thing haha

Yu-Gi-Oh!: I just wasn't super interested in the premise, and it felt a bit too little kiddish for me to be getting into it freshly right now (I never watched it growing up)

Haru wo Daiteita: the translation I was reading wasn't great and the premise itself was just a bit uncomfortable for me, I think? Like dub con type stuff was going on that just wasn't enjoyable for me to read

Fruits Basket: I found the main character a bit overly perfect in a boring way, I also felt a bit too old to be getting freshly into it now, and the premise with the Zodiac animals and such just didn't really grab my imagination in any big way

Ouran High School Host Club: Another one I felt too old to be getting freshly into now, and the premise was just not one that captivated me

Assassination Classroom: It wasn't bad or anything, it was actually pretty funny, but I simply found it too young for me and a bit too completely goofy to feel like reading the entire thing

Moriarty the Patriot: I found the Victorian setting a bit too fake and unbelievable, thought it felt a bit too young for me as well, and just wasn't hugely into the vibes of the whole thing

Vampeerz: The art was really cute and the premise was something relevant to my interests, but I found the writing and tone a bit too inconsistent and the characters a bit too young for me to really want to continue reading that far in

[hyperfixingfr]

big fan of your peacock design for Hoagie because idk maybe I’m reading too into it but the show making him a walrus (I think?? Been a while since I’ve seen the episode) just felt like a cheap and lazy “haha fat character” joke

It was actually worse than a walrus, it was a hippo! And yes, you're right. That was exactly the point of him being made a hippo. Big, fat, and hungry.

CW// a bit of some serious criticism of KNDs writing.

Hoagie was a comedic relief character who was supposed to be viewed as mock worthy material, no matter how much it extended to real life bigotry. One of the biggest flaws of the show is the mediocre at best writing. It had good jokes, but that all goes to shit the minute they use other people's harmless traits as a gag. Plus, they were horribly inconsistent. The treatment of Hoagie was horrible and I don't mean that in a, "ohhh no my favorite character is being bullied!" kind of way. That's not how you pick on a character unless you're also intending to give the character severe mental issues and self image problems, which never happened in canon beyond slight hints that he was merely anxious. Hoagie was always portrayed to be this completely oblivious and lacking of response character who you could freely pick on because he never felt bad about the way he was talked about. Not only is that completely unrealistic and taking away his character, but it's also implying that you can just... Say those things to people. And they won't feel a thing.

If Hoagie being mocked in those ways happened to be some sort of emotional arc, I would understand that. But the problem is that, it wasn't. Hardly anything came of it. He didn't even seem to flinch despite him being young and susceptible to a more difficult time handling emotions. A kid his age would be ruined with that kind of treatment. People who were treated like him at his age end up in places I shouldn't even mention right now. And they show clear signs of it. I know they do, because I was one of those kids. Yet, Hoagie really never budged beyond maybe a frown in the aftermath he'll hold for like... 5 seconds. Max. Suddenly, he's over it. Like he's a mature adult capable of handling feelings and understanding that they're wrong and why they're wrong. I wouldn't expect them to go ham on anything, but shit. At least a more accurate response, like keeping his head down and holding a frown the rest of the episode. No kid would hear the kind of bullshit he hears and experiences and does nothing. Children would cry, become sad, get angry. And he's not one to get angry, so it's kind of obvious what he'd do otherwise. Probably more likely to sit in silence than cry, but my point stands.

Absolutely horrible to have done what they did with their writing. Not only did they feed the flirty Asian girl stereotype and the chill motherly black girl stereotype, but they also enforced the idea that healthy but fat people are flawed for their completely normal body. The fat jokes weren't even funny. They could've made fat jokes without bringing down fat people.

And I don't even wanna hear the whole "but it was made in the 2000s" bullshit because I can name five shows that aired before KND with fat main characters that never, EVER made a harmful fat joke. There's a reason why Ed, Edd n Eddy was considered peak comedy and KND wasn't. Because Ed, Edd n Eddy never made derogatory and degrading jokes about completely harmless things like a person's body. And that's with Ed and Eddy being fat! It's pretty simple - the show just... Wasn't well written. The time period has little excuse considering how easily other shows had been funny without their weird mockery. And I'm telling you right now, KND definitely had at least a minor impact on how children viewed fat people. If they didn't provoke the thought in the children who watched, they enforced it with their jokes. Not exactly a great thing to have done.

If you need to put someone down to be funny, you aren't funny. Simple as that. Hoagie could have gotten so much more development if they were being more realistic. This is Sci-Fi, of course he'd still be a human with human reactions. And they could have done so much with it, too. It would have been nice for there to have been a plot relating to his struggle with bullying. I would've loved to see him develop his character... Hoagie and Kuki hardly developed like the others. And I'm reaching to say Abby did because it's far less than the other two.

And really, it sucks. I love seeing fandom interpretations of him because they try to take into account his true character. He's a sweet, nerdy boy who loves to use comedy to cheer himself and others up. He's the pinnacle of empathy development in children (excluding the, uh... Weird misogynistic stuff...). He's such a loveable character but the show really did their best to try and ruin him and his reputation.

Sorry for the long rant but it gave me an excuse to dish out this information. I don't think everyone realizes just how intentional the mockery of Hoagie was.

[kitkatopinions]

Sorry to come into your ask box to vent after your post...

But I gotta say, you certainly managed to really sum up everything I dislike about the mentality of "subverting expectations = good storytelling" folks.

Like, it had been such a thing for people to say "X is so good because it subverts audience expectations!" And it's been driving me up a wall because that's just such a backward mentality about it: subverting audience expectations is a completely neutral thing, and one can just as easily ruin a story by going against audience expectations as tell a good story by playing out what the audience might be expecting.

Which, not to necessarily be mean about RW//BY, but yeah... that so many passionate defenders of it are also of the "a story is good cuz it subverts expectations" crowd is... not unexpected.

No, but for real! The way that people and seemingly a lot of writers think that surprise = good is frustrating!:This is one reason why spoilers are such a big deal to people, is that their viewing experience seems to bank on surprise and shock about who might die, who ends up together, who wins what victory in the end. I should be able to know all the plot points and plot twists going in and still enjoy the finished product just as much. If something isn't well set up (Adam's switcheroo in motives, the existence of the gods, Penny being a flesh person, the Ever After, Blake's personality change, arguably Ruby's depression in V9,) or not well done (Ironwood's fall to villainy, Ozpin's gray morality, the bees, Neo's eventual suicide, Ruby's journey as a SEW, the whole morals of the whole show) then whether or not it 'subverts expectations' is entirely irrelevant.

People are fully allowed to complain that they thought a piece of media would do something they wanted and instead did something they personally don't like that much, also, because that IS a bummer. But when I complain about RWBY, most of the time it's not just because I'm salty that it isn't doing what I think I'd personally like more. Like, I like the game Octopath Traveler, but I wish it wasn't that 8-bit looking early video game design, but at the end of the day I don't care because just because it doesn't fit my personal preference doesn't mean it isn't good. I wish Zuko had joined the Gaang earlier in ATLA or had more time with the Gaang than he did, but I still think Zuko's story is as close to perfect as it probably could've been. I just write or read fanfiction for the personal preference stuff. But the complaints I typically have for RWBY aren't like that. Like YEAH I actually DO prefer stories without heroes falling to villainy and with lots of redemption arcs, but I'm not about to hate RWBY just for not following my own personal preferences. No, I criticize RWBY for the bad execution, the lack of emotional pay-off in their story beats, the inconsistent morality they splash here and there whenever it sounds good and then forget about. RWBY is a confused show packed with ideas that never seem to be able to come together and writers that seem more interested in making giffable moments than a well done story. It's just generally not a well written well executed show.

I think that 'it subverts your expectations' is just one of many excuses that people use to wave away criticism with as little thought or effort or need to actually engage in discourse as possible. Just like complaints that the writers weren't interested in good world building and lore and therefore the transition from the moster school drama Beacon Era into magical world traversing quest wasn't well done are waved away with 'you're just mad the writers aren't following your headcanons' or 'you just want cute girls to go brr and hate substance' without actually addressing the true meat of the complaint or offering any substantial counterargument.

BTW, complain any time! I don’t mind hearing it at all. XD

[stupidgtblog]

Trying writing

just a disclaimer that I have never written before - EVER! so don't expect this to be some life-changing top-tier literature. It's mostly self-indulgent, about 1.6k words, got a bit of cursing, and elements of fear, but that's about it. I don't really have a title hope u like it pls give criticism but b nice abt it <3

...

Mira had always found stories and folktales interesting. She liked humming the tunes, thinking about the morals they taught. She'd even (much to her parent's dismay,) decided to pursue a career in cultural studies, opting to focus less on the gift of her magic. Her parents always told her that magic was something that gave her endless possibilities, and she was lucky to have a supportive family, and not one that decided they'd rather burn her at the stake. She'd learned to ride a broom to cut on cost-of-travel, and a bit of minor healing spells for first-aid, but, her training had stopped there.

Her interest had been piqued by a new character popping up in some folklore in some mining regions. These places weren't the best to witches, so she'd be going a bit undercover. She'd come in, write as much of the oral stories as she could, translate, and then publish them for the general public, so more people could experience the stories. That was her mission.

She hadn't known much about the character yet, but descriptions had been inconsistent to say the least. Some swore by the figure being a cruel, powerful witch, others claimed the figure was clearly a horrible, evil wizard.

the only snippet of undisputed lore was a poem called “Titan of Ore”, that went as follows:

Skin of Bronze,

Hair of Silver,

Eyes of Gold,,

Axe of Iron,

Heart of Stone.

Mira was interested in such a character, popping up in only the last 5 years or so in the culture, with so much mystery surrounding it. In Mira's own experience, cases like these would just end up being stories around a new species of animal, or even weather phenomena. (Mira had gotten her hopes up in a previous case of a giant, twirling lady, just to find out they were talking about some dust storms that had been recently passing the area.)

Mira knew it was stupid, but one day, just once, she wanted these folktales to lead to something. She wanted - at least once, for them to be real.

Mira's travel plan was to fly as far as she could, then rent a horse for the cheapest she could to go the rest of the way. Sure, it'd be annoying, but far less annoying than being burnt alive. After she'd taken down everything, she'd fly as far away from those witch-roasters as her broom would take her.

...

The town was very quiet. Nothing really happening, just people doing their errands, buying goods, coughing (a lot), and going about their day.

Mira didn't really know where to start, But found a hopeful lead as a group of children gathered around, hearing a story from a woman standing in the middle. It was a nice thing to see.

As Mira sat a little farther and listened, after she wrote down as much as she could, she tried to ask the woman some questions.

She started to introduce herself.

“Hi! Hello- I'm Mira, I study culture, folklore, y'know, the stories? I noticed you were-”

“Where are you from?” The woman didn't let her finish. Rude, but Mira didn't want to give a bad first impression.

“Oh- I'm from Willowstead, It's pretty far, but - I came to study some particularly interesting stories that've-”

“You come all the way from Willowstead, for children's stories?” OK, that's just mean.

“Well, uh, you could say that, but to me, they're just so much more than that- They're magical, they're wonderful-”

The woman cut her off, “Witch!”

Was she seriously only talking to her to accuse her of witchcraft? Ok. These people might've had interesting folktales, but unfortunately, they were also crazy.

“What? Why would you say that about me?”

Turns out this wasn't too good of an idea. Turns out the townspeople were very keen of accusing her of witchcraft. (They weren't really wrong, but, y'know.)

“Listen, listen, hear me out, I'm just here to listen to your folklore! I've done nothing wrong!”

“Quiet!” Now they were getting mad.

“But- What did I even do?!”

Mira felt someone grip her hand, tight. Maybe she was actually about to get burned at the stake. For real.

“No! NO! Let me go, let me go right now!”

“You can't do this to me! I didn't do anything!”

...

They'd put her in the jail. It was a cold, single cell, with nothing but brick walls and a cold, dirty floor. She had not but one conversation in this town, and they already wanted to kill her. The walls were covered in all types of written curses, some names.

“MINERVA DIED GRACEFUL” was scratched into the corner wall.

“KIMARI, FOREVER SERVANT OF THE DARK” was written with some ink-like substance Mira didn't want to touch.

“BELARA WUZ BBQ'D HERE SEE U IN HELL” was funny at first, but then made realized that the message was addressed to her. And that all these people were real deal witches, and they were all dead.

Mira considered writing, but what would she even put down?

She took a rock and scrawled

“I WAS ONLY HERE FOR A DAY!”

It was funny for a second, but then reality hit her. She was going to be killed. Really. Killed. Dead. Would her parents ever know? She told an acquaintance where she was going... but would they remember? It was too much for her.

What was she going to do? She couldn't do anything! Was she supposed to just sit here and die? She didn't want to die!

She started to cry. She cried for a pretty long time, until she got tired and, somehow, slept.

...

It was a couple hours later. She'd woken up, been paraded through town, dark, save for bright, hot torches, some held by children. Jeering and chanting were loud in her ears all the way. Maybe this was where they got their entertainment, not their stories.

They'd bound her up tight to half of a log, and placed that log on top of a bunch of firewood. She was half-expecting them to let her down, But then, a torch was thrown, and the whole thing started to go alight. With Mira still on it.

“Haah... Oh my god. No, nonono!”

It was agony already. Just watching the flames creep up menacingly, heat rising, heart sinking...

“Wait... wait! I'm only 19! I'm still in school! I don't even use my magic! I didn't do anything!”

It was getting to the point where this started to hurt. The flames danced at her ankles, And the smoke was already getting to her head.

The flames grew more gradually, Like a wall of fire had been built all around her, closing in, slowly.

“No! I, my family! I need to talk to them!” It's like everything had gone quiet, but the roaring of the flames.

“I can't breathe!”

She could hear her heart beating in her ears, drowning out everything -

It was almost like the ground was shaking beneath her...

Was she dying?

*WOOOOSH!*

In an instant, she felt the strongest wind she'd ever felt ruffle through her hair, the only thing stopping her from being blown away herself was the formerly-on-fire log. She was back to feeling the cold, night air. It was like someone blew her out like a big birthday candle. She was actually really, really cold.

“...huh?”

She looked down at the once-cheering mob all looking utterly horrified, eyes staring up, At something Mira couldn't see. It was night, but Mira could tell a very, VERY long shadow was being cast behind her... and two, bright golden spotlights shone on the crowd.

Eyes of Gold...

Oh god, If she thought burning to death was bad, what was this thing going to do? This was the worst day EVER-

She felt a rope *snap* behind her. Her hands were still bound, but she was off the pyre.

She tried to move, but she wasn't coordinated enough, shivering and bound, and fell forward. But almost instantly, something closed all around her, firm, but comfortable. Warm. A hand. She was being held in one, huge hand. Moving until she was put up into something. Something almost leathery to the touch, close to the chest.

Whatever this thing was, it was holding her in it's pocket. And, to Mira's shock, it spoke - to defend her.

“I've warned you idiots far more times than you've deserved.”

The voice was deep and rough, but not necessarily masculine or feminine. Its defining trait is that it was angry.

Their apologies were almost inaudible through the fabric - muffled, but desperate. The response was furious and immediate. They clearly didn't want to hear it.

"SHUT UP! If I ever see you fucking weirdos do any of this sadist shit again, I will curse you all to death!”

Mira was scared. Scared of everything. They were true. They were real. Everything was extremely confusing, and she had no idea what this person wanted. She shook like a leaf, she couldn't tell if it was because she was cold, scared, or both.

They must've noticed how shaken she was, because they pulled her out of the pocket, into what could only be described as a big, big hug.

“You're gonna be alright.”

—

The girl was so horribly cold. She'd almost just burnt to death, and now she was freezing. Just wonderful.

Taking her back to the house seemed like a good idea, but she guessed she'd be scared half to death - but wasn't she already?

Well, didn't matter now. They'd started on the path already.

...shit. Is she crying? Yeah - she's definitely crying.

“Hey, calm down, you're alright, ok? I'm just gonna take you inside.”

”I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.”

“Don't apologize. You haven't done anything.”

”I was really stupid.”

“If you're stupid, I'm a complete idiot.”

That made her laugh. It was cute.

She liked her.

“You have a name?”

”Mira.”

“...Mira.”

What a sweet name.~

I actually found writing this pretty fun even though it's not the best I think it's still cool beans radical pls give me all ur criticism pls and thx

[corvidae-corvus]

My Spider-Man & Batman Fanfic (WIP) #4:

Omg I just realized that since Aunt May is literally a nurse she could be the first link to the Batfam.

So I've been having trouble deciding on how the Parkers and Batfam would first meet. Like...how they would meet, why, where etc. What reasons would the Batfam would want to know more about them. I finally figured some of it out.

The first reason I feel like it would be mentions of Dick walking around the city. Then they would meet Richard Parker and just assume he's a doppelganger. (When two people who are unrelated look exactly alike.)

Then like 2 weeks later, there'll be evidence of 2 people breaking into Wayne Enterprises or something similar. 2 weeks after that they're seen again and they're inconsistently breaking into rich people's companies etc.

Now 2 months after the Parkers arrive in Gotham, one of the Batfam is incredibly hurt and can't communicate with the rest of the Batfam. They're hurt and are in need of medical assistance. That's where May comes in! And guess what she conveniently has a whole med room ready and prepared to help them. She helps them and while they're passed out or something and when they wake up, they're a little confused but they like May. (I don't know who gets hurt, either Tim, or Jason. I'm leaning towards Jason since May's gonna be in crime alley and all that but I also would not mind Tim.)

Now why does may have a whole med bay set up? And how? Well like a month after they arrived in Gotham, they all managed to find each other. Peter is discovered last and they all obviously know that he's Spider-Man. (they have some memory of Peter's life. Not a lot but they all know that he's Spider-Man. Should I keep it that way or change it?)

Peter wants to go back to being Spider-Man and they need to stock up on Items. Mary and Richard are in charge of gathering supplies (stealing) and Peter isn't allowed to join since it could jeopardize his identity before it's even revealed. They know that the Batfam is onto Richard and May.

Now whether or not Peter joins later on or does his own runs, idk. But that's for future me to decide on.

So because the supply runs May gets her own medical equipment, and decides that she's going to help the people of Crime Alley get the medical attention they deserve. Also she wants to bring back F.E.A.S.T.

So may is gonna be a Charity worker/organizer/founder of F.E.A.S.T. by day and the nurse of the fucking underworld by night! Ok I'm kinda exaggerating but what I mean is that she will be an illegal nurse during the night ( idk who will be on stand-by during the end of Peter's patrol, but I was thinking that the rest of the family would, maybe Ben.) She would help anyone in need, that includes the VILLAINS!! This would be interesting since she died in an explosion that was caused by one of the people she tried to help (green goblin). I feel like she'd have a bit of trouble with the villains. She'd help them but she'd be really scared while doing so and maybe a little angry. She died and I want to explore that part of her character. Peter would definitely object to her becoming like an illegal Nurse but gives in to her because he loves her very much and wants to support her. He's just constantly worried about her.

Anyways I was also wondering if there are any canonical "illegal nurses" that are in Gotham. I've read fics where there is a nurse that Jason, or the rest of the Batfam go to when things get rough on patrol and the nurse/doctor is a civilian. Maybe they can be friends with May!!

Anyways this will obviously get May investigated. And boom! She has documents and stuff! Now I feel like the Batfam won't realize that the info is fake for awhile. Since Peter's parents are literal spies and they're pretty damn good at making a whole new identity without getting caught (my head cannon) and Peter's intelligence is crazy. He's also like 20 here he's definitely smarter now than when he was a teenager. And he had Ned and Tony teaching him how to hack. Now I feel like Barbara is the better hacker but I need the plot to slow down sooo....

I need to think more on this later. Anyways yea! This is like a part of May's Story that I would want to write!

Hope you enjoyed it! If y'all have any questions you can ask me about it! Maybe even give me some ideas if ya want! This is all just a WIP and I honestly I am not gonna start this fic for a while...but Everytime I post the story gets more and more coherent. Lol.

[powwuten]

might i ask what a globetrotter is?

Its a collection of music and art that contribute to a project that mostly exists in my head okay bye haha!

Oohhhh i got you there

ahem

“What is globetrotter?”

Globetrotter is a hypothetical maybe happening rpg that currently is having its story told through art, music, and possibly writing or a few comics in the future. It follows three silly little guys that I designed (and have been iterating on because I'm kinda inconsistent) for years now, named Ceridwen, Riice, and Mollam! If you didn’t notice, the first two have misspelled welsh names. What's the significance of them being welsh? There is none! For now! That's the nature of this whole project, really. A lot of the time things exist to be cool, though by the time they leave my head they’ve usually formed enough connective tissue to be a part of a wider story. I had the main protagonists, I had the main antagonists, and I had the themes I wanted to use…then bam! Three cursed individuals trying to defeat a group of time demons to release themselves from being born anew for eternity! Funny how that works!

“Wait so who are those guys in orange?”

in what

“sorry i meant orange”

oh! right!

Ceridwen and Riice are both coworkers at…!! Well honestly I haven’t deliberated on that fact much, but hey, the fact of the matter is they do science 👍👍. Work’s been a little harder after one of their labs got attacked though. Poor thangs. Wonder who did that.

In a world of demons and humans and angels sometimes, how would you categorize a man with a head made of teeth? Perhaps the best description is “cowboy”. Mollam’s the third party member of this trio, but he isn’t exactly enthusiastic about joining them. Strange premonitions are driving Mollam away from Ceridwen and Riice. Poor thangs. Wonder why that is.

“What do these guys look like!!” I hear you ask…and my answer?!?!

I don’t have reference sheets yet. oops. I’ll do it. 👍. I will also say that I didn’t cover their personalities in detail much, but applications speak louder than descriptions! I’ll start writing eventually and in that same vein i’ll start drawing eventually et cetera et cetera…!

“Why is globetrotter?”

Well, to be perfectly honest, to get right to the point, to be quick, to make things simple, in my experience, in the end, it all boils down to the fact that it's fun! It's fun and it’s good practice and I enjoy this world in my head and want to share it with people! plain and simple. im honestly not sure if this section even needed to be here tbh like yeah i like thing im making it i think thats how most things are made.

“Where is globetrotter?”

Primarily boiling in my mind

Secondarily sitting in dms with @marismoments39

Thirdarily out and about on soundcloud

Fourtharily on tumblr

Tumblr? What tumblr? Globetrotter tumblr! https://www.tumblr.com/globetrotterer to be exact! I kinda just made it recently so there isn't much there but hey keep your eyes on it. Seeing as I’ve approached this project across years and grown so much alongside it, it’ll take a bit for some concrete stuff to show up. I’ll do my best to even things out!

“How is globetrotter?”

awww you’re too nice. globetrotter is doing well, and you?

“Is this it?”

No!!!! Unless I die the moment I post this. Feel free to ask me whatever!!!!!

[terminaltimeline]

Wait, I thought he left the military because he couldn’t bring himself to kill? Or is that just mistaken?

I think he has killed, but to be fair, the phrasing around his military service is usually kinda vague about it. Like, "fought terrorism while in the military" could reasonably be interpreted as "has killed people" but also has room for "had the opportunity to kill but couldn't". This feels like it's because Capcom realised that "has killed people" might be a bad look for their new Street Fighter poster boy. Do not ask why they decided to make him a PMC contractor if that's the case. I don't know. Hey did you know that an older concept sheet of Luke literally calls him a mercenary?

Anyway.

Strongest argument for "has killed" is SFV Luke's winquote against Juri:

I'm over the whole "fight to the death" thing. Had enough of that in my last job.

Additionally, the way the Japanese version of this quote is phrased implies more strongly that he has killed.

Strongest argument for "has not killed" is this quote from the Udon SF6 comics #0:

But killing people... I didn't have it in me, and I decided to leave the military in the end.

This is kinda tangential but he then says that his father would "kick [him] in the rear for throwing in the towel" if he was still alive, which is a painful reminder that Luke's perception of his father is forever stuck at 11-year-old Luke's memories of him.

The issue is that both of these quotes have enough room for the other interpretation to also be applicable.

Anyway Street Fighter is mad inconsistent with lore (SF6 shows a pic of PMC Luke while he's talking about being conflicted over being in the military hhhhhh I will never stop complaining about this) so like, I wouldn't really worry about it. Though this vagueness does muddle his characterisation a little bit because the implications of "killed, found it repulsive, refused to continue" and "finds killing repulsive, refuses to kill" are completely different.

Personally I think that the son of a military doctor attempting to follow in his father's footsteps but not realising the doctor part until after he's joined the military and has ended up killing people is a horrifically ironic narrative, and since I like horrifying irony I choose to believe that he's killed. Also, given that he had no compunctions about joining the military in the first place, I find it hard to believe he initially had misgivings about what they do. And he hasn't even ended up at "killing is a bad thing to do", he's at "personally didn't like to kill, this is a personal thing though, dad would be disappointed in me aha, the military was totally fine, great even, really enjoyed my time there fighting terrorism"

Have I ever mentioned that I hate Luke Sullivan?

[kirchefuchs]

Yoo Ceres!! Since the last ask, I've been thinking more about your AU (or perhaps headcanon? idk) where The Narrator was given false memories of having created The Stanley Parable. Of course, as per usual, I went "well, s__t. time to f__k around and find out, I suppose" (/p)

(also is using swear words allowed in asks? genuine question btw)

SO! here are some questions that I carefully handpicked out of the chaos that is my brain <3

(also!! u don't have to answer all of them, okay? just label the questions u answered through their assigned letters. you can choose questions to answer so dw :D)

a) Not sure if this was answered already, but who gave The Narrator all those fake memories?

- Did they just appear one day?

- Did he accidentally give the memories to himself?

- Did the actual Developers decide to give it to him for the Ultra Deluxe revamp?

- Does this have anything to do with Stanley? Perhaps the Timekeeper?

b) What's the Timekeeper's main role in your AU/headcanon?

- What do they do?

- Did they exist before in the Original version of the game?

- If so, do they remember the original game? How different are the two versions of Timekeeper personality and/or programming-wise (Original vs Ultra Deluxe)?

c) What about Stanley?

- Does he remember anything related to the original version of the game?

- Is he aware of The Narrator's false memories? If he is, has he done anything in relation to the information? How did he found out, if he did?

- If he remembers the loops/resets in your AU, has he ever noticed how inconsistent the information given by The Narrator is? Has he ever tried to question/call him out for it? If he did, how did the scene play out? Did the Timekeeper have to step in?

d) Does The Narrator remember any resets/loops?

- If yes, how so? As in, does he 100% remember them or are certain parts of each ending cut out or jumbled up in his memories?

- If he doesn't, then do certain keywords give him a sense of deja vu? Does every reset/loop slowly start to fade away, as if the previous ending were just a dream (would also explain the Confusion Ending)? What about muscle memory? Does forgetting the different endings do anything to affect his instincts and/or reflexes? If yes, how so? Explain it as thoroughly as you wanna; I'd love to read your answer/s!

e) Do you have any additional information that you've [always] wanted to share about your AU/headcanon?

- Anything about The Narrator that you never had the chance to share?

- What about Stanley?

- Anything interesting about the Timekeeper?

- Or perhaps a secret 4th option? Do tell!! I absolutely love the lore of your Narrator/Pollux, and I really wanna try to provide some of my headcanons/thoughts, if you don't mind :D

Toodles! Hope you have a fantastic day! <33 /p Sorry if these questions are a bit much, haha–

— 🅰️non || 05/14/2023

Sweetie you have no idea how long I've been waiting to talk about my headcanons/lore/au/whatever you wanna call it, so I am so glad you asked!!!! 👀👀👀

(Swear words are fine, I'm not a huge stickler on them, but I prefer to keep them a minimum to none thing. I totally get it if you wanna use them, especially for comedic effect)

And! Bold of you to assume I don't wanna answer all your questions and more!!!! I am vibrating in excitement!!!! Okay, since this is going to be so long I'm putting it all under the cut.

A) I talked about this a little bit before, but I can try to explain it a little more clearly here.

There were 2 instances of false memories that the Narrator had. The first happened on its own in the Demo. The Developers/Research Team/Jim and his people who were working on the simulation had no idea what caused the Narrator to develop those fake memories. Their best guess the Narrator’s mind was trying to fill in the void and create a reason to explain why he didn't like The Stanley Parable anymore, just feeling that way wasn't enough for the AI, he needed a reason so his coding created a reason. That being fake memories.

Obviously, this is bad for the team's experiment here, so Jim wiped the Narrator’s memory and he gave the Narrator the new memories before putting him into the main game/simulation (the second instance of fake memories). Making the Narrator think he created the Parable and everything inside it, in order to help ease the transition between the Demo and The Stanley Parable.

As for if this has anything to do with Stanley, no, since him and Mariella are basically just test subjects trying to help Narry and Curie develop personhood (thats the point of the Parable in my au. Jim and his team are trying to create artificial life) from within the Parable. TK? Yes. They were on Jim's team before they got trapped inside the Parable so they had a hand in the Demo and the 2013 Parable, so thusly were involved in the Narrator's fake memories fiasco.

B) I just mentioned this but TK used to be a member on Jim's team. They were one of the developers of the Parable. No they didn’t enter the Parable until Ultra Deluxe, but due to literally helping make the game they know more about the game than just about anyone else in the Parable (except for one, but I'll talk about that later).

Before we get into how TK got trapped inside the Parable it is important to me personally that I inform you that TK and Jim are very in love and were in a lovely queer platonic relationship before everything went to crap with Ultra Deluxe.

Anyways, how TK got stuck. Well after the team created Ultra Deluxe (they made it to help keep Stanley from going crazy and also just to update some things a bit) but a bit before they moved the two humans and two AIs into it they wanted to see if they could make it so they could control and keep tabs on the Parable from within the simulation. TK volunteered themself to test out the new feature and it worked out great for a while! For a while. Things went south when a tragedy befell the rest of the team while TK was inside the Parable. Since there was then no one to take them out of the game they kinda became trapped inside the coding void of the game.

So TK, since they are within the code of the game, they can manipulate the Parable in specific aspects. Though with how the feature was supposed to work, they can't talk directly to the other 4 in the Parable. They can only communicate to the rest them as text on the various computer screens in the Parable. When they show up on a screen it kinda looks like one of those command prompt windows. But for the most part they kinda act as a silent observer, waiting for Stanley and the Narrator to trigger the true Escape Pod Ending and free them all from the simulation.

C) Yes, I do believe Stanley remembers everything. Well as much as he can, he's still a human and will forget a couple things. Though, his mind has probably blocked out most of what happened in the 2011 version of the game, it was not a fun version.

Does Stanley know about the false memories? Kinda? Not really? It's weird. He's a test subject so he was only ever told what was strictly necessary, so he doesn't know a whole lot about what's going on. Guy is just trying to annoy the Narrator into becoming a person.

Yes he does remember resets. Yes he noticed all the inconsistencies in the Narrator's dialogue, so he takes the dialogue in the game with a grain of salt. The moments when the Narrator speaks without the script he is much more inclined to listen to and believe, though he can tell something's up. After all, he knows the Narrator is an AI.

I'm sure Stanley has tried to bring up the inconsistencies but the Narrator just becomes very defensive and deflects any questions with something along the lines of "You know I'm just reading a script, it's all part of the story Stanley."

Eventually Stanley and the Narrator do confront TK about the nature of the Parable and Narry's memories, and they deliver. It kinda shatters Narry's entire worldview in the process, but they do find out how to escape the Parable so it balances out I guess.

D) I honestly haven't thought about this a whole ton, but I imagine he remembers most of most of the resets. Its really hard to tell sometimes because some of his dialogue sounds too genuine to just be scripted but maybe Narry is just that good at his job. Who knows?

Maybe early on his memory was infallible and he remembered every reset in perfect detail, but as time went on and he grew and developed to be more and more human-like his memory changed too. Maybe as time goes on his own memory starts acting like a human memory would and he forgets little aspects of some endings. I don't know, I'm just speculating, throwing darts at the board to see what sticks.

I genuinely belive he doesn't remember the Skip Button ending though. Like, he probably remembered having gone to the memory zone but he doesn't remember the Steam reviews. I haven't quite figured out why he doesn't remember, but I know he doesn't remember it. Perhaps since it messes with the Parables timeline so much the game just wipes his memory of it for the sake of maintaining itself. Maybe TK wipes his memory of it each time. Idk.

I wish I could give more solid answers on this one, but I will have to think about it more. :/

E) Oh boy do I?!?!?!?!

Okay, for the Narrator, I guess I just really like talking about this eye thing cuz it's really cool. Basically the short of it is in the original 2011 version of the game he had use of both his eyes (his right eye is green his left eye grey) but after he began to gain a personality and emotions some of his coding got all tangled together and his left eye became permanently closed and started to bleed whenever he got overwhelmed with emotion. Trying to "fix" the eye thing, while being able to open his left eye and stop the bleeding, it would also make him unable to feel most emotions and he'd lose a lot of memories in the process. This is the basis of the angst fanfic I'm writing :)))

Stanley? He'll he's just your average guy isn't he? The main things of note for my Stanley would probably be that he's Irish and speaks with a heavy accent (he's selectively mute, so he can talk when he feels like it), also he knows both BSL and ISL. The Narrator only knows BSL though so Stanley uses it more often, but sometimes he will use ISL just to annoy Narry or when he really wants to say something but doesn't want the Narrator to know what he's saying (like professing his undying love for Narry pre-relationship).

Okay Timekeeper time! As I said before TK was on the development team for the Parable with Jim but got trapped inside the Parable after an accident occurred to the rest of the team while they were inside. I explained a lot already about TK, so i kinda wanna talk some more about Jim and his involvement with everything.

Jim basically acts as the player most of the time (sometimes TK would fill in that role as well) but also he's the creator of the Parable. This is why the name button says his name. Anyways, Jim made the Parable to see if he could create artificial life, so he put two AIs (Narry and Curie) into a simulation with two humans (Stanley and Mariella). Stan and Mari are basically in a sort of stasis pod or whatever while their consciousness are put into the game and they can control their avatars (kinda like the movie Avatar if I remember correctly how that worked). So time passes and stuff happens, new versions of the game are made, eventually we make it to Untra Deluxe. They've been doing TSPUD for a while, everything's going great, and then while TK is checking some things from within the game and Jim is monitoring while the rest of the team is on lunch break or smth, Jim hears an alarm for a toxin leak. Unfortunately for him, there is no way for him to get out in time so he does the only thing he can think of to not die. He puts himself into the Parable.

This plan wasn't the wisest, but it was the only option. In the rush he just transfers his conscious into the first avatar he finds. This turns out to be the Adventure Line™ because it was at the top of the list (alphabetical order and all). So without anyone to release the now 4 humans and 2 AI stuck within the Parable, all they can do is wait for Stanley and the Narrator to trigger the true Escape Pod Ending which would release them all and put both AI into their own bodies in the real world.

I'm thinking the whole getting bodies for Narry and Curie to inhabit thing will be similar to how Vision was created in the Marvel movies. Basically 3d printing humans. The "3d printers" are set to kick into life when the true Escape Pod Ending is triggered, and they print out two bodies based on DNA gathered previously and construction files and stuff so they will look similar to their in-game models, but still human. Is this more complicated than just making them robots? Yes. Do I care? No. They are humans now.

Anyways, you'd think TK and Jim would try to speed up this process right? Well they sure would love to, but Jim is an effing line and cannot talk, and TK can only communicate if someone happens to be looking at a computer screen and they're able to get a message through. So it's a lot harder than they might like. The poor guys just gotta bide their time till they can actually get Stanley and Narry's attention long enough to tell them how to free everyone.

So yeah, this was definitely my longest post. There is a lot to say about my headcanons my gosh. Um, yeah. But if you have any thoughts, more questions, or what have you, feel free to share. I am open for suggestions to help flesh everything out a bit more. So ye :)