#thats not a problem at all nowadays right or?

[skitskatdacat63]

VETTONSOOOOOOOO

[cheesey-rice]

Ok low key Ive just watched a letsplay of slay the princess and I'm like a little obssessed. I think I need to like hold buying the game and playing it hostage from myself until I do at the very least the first half of my practice test today even though like theoretically I shouldn't play anything new at all until after I've taken my test.

[mangoshorthand]

oh, and it was a guy who decided to tell me that as soon as all my clothes were off

Original request:

I have a really personal request of thats ok w u. my first time having sex i was called ugly and obese, and it still sticks with me nowadays so i shy away from being fully exposed/on top/having the lights on bc im scared they were right and its gonna happen again - so how would 5 deal w this in a partner? if this is too weird 4 u then just ignore

Thanks to @kaybreezy3000 for reading through this before I posted and making me sound less like a wildly-masturbating 19th century nobleman. Note for you at the end, anon.

Venus and Cupid | Five Hargreeves/ F Reader 4k words, Rated E

Five was an observant man: he had to be. If he hadn’t learned to pick up on the details then it's doubtful he could have even made it to adulthood.  

So he noticed that you had quite specific tendencies very early on, back when you were first seeing one another. The first time you had sex, he thought you leaving your clothes on was pretty hot - it seemed as if you were so desperate to have him inside you that you couldn’t delay it even the short time it would take to get undressed - but it quickly became apparent to him that this was something more.

You always seemed to leave as many clothes on as humanly possible, or else turn off the lights before undressing shyly, almost reluctantly, always keeping something clutched around you. 

His first reaction was to feel frustrated, (okay, frustrated and insecure, if you insisted on wheedling that out of him). Were you even into it? 

He loved the sex you had, and you certainly seemed to get something out of it, but all the while you were covering yourself from his lustful gaze like he was a lecherous drunk eyeing you from down an alley. 

He just didn’t understand it. Things were great outside the bedroom: you laughed together, you had intelligent, lively conversations…you even romanced him in a way nothing had taught him to expect. You anticipated his wants, you surprised him with dates and the occasional gift. You made him feel special and wanted in every way except this one way.

And he needed it that way too.

Maybe there was something about sex that brought home to you that he was old enough to be your father. Maybe you saw his hungry gaze as the leer of a dirty, predatory old man...and that thought hurt because it held too much truth.

He finally asked you about it after a session of sex in which you looked distinctly uncomfortable riding him, avoiding his gaze and keeping the bed sheets wrapped around you. 

He brought it up in a way typical to him: blunt antagonism as defense, masking his real insecurities. “Question: why are you with me?”

“Because I like you,” you replied, confused by his tone.

“Sure,” he said, the smallest trace of sarcasm in his voice, “but there’s a problem here, isn’t there?”

You turned to him on the pillow, and you were greeted by his expectant, irritated smile. He raised a brow, clearly prompting you to state this so-called ‘problem’. When you seemed none the wiser, he continued. 

“The problem seems to be that you hate having sex with me.” 

You looked at him, nonplussed.

“No I don’t. Why would you say that?”

He shook his head with the trace of a bitter laugh. 

“So you just hate me looking at you, is that it? You know, nobody’s forcing you to sleep with me. We could just end it if you can’t stand me ogling you.”

You turned away from him, folding your arms across your chest protectively, hugging yourself. You tried not to cry, but tears were already welling in your eyes, threatening to overspill and roll down your face. You could feel him slipping away; sense the rejection coming on the breeze.

At the sound of a sniffle, Five softened slightly 

“Why do you always cover yourself?” he said, finally.

You choked back the tears.

“B-because I’m self-conscious about my body, okay?”

Five sounded incredulous.

“You’re self-conscious about your body?”

You nodded, still not looking at him.

“Don’t bullshit me,” he said, suddenly irritated again, “You expect me to believe someone who looks like you is self conscious about her body? You’re beautiful, what the hell do you got to be self conscious about?”

His words, though spoken in a tone of irritated disbelief, gave you a warm feeling in your chest. In fact, it was his irritation that assured you of his honesty. That feeling of affirmation brought more tears at first, and it took a few moments to recover.

Five waited for you to begin patiently, able to tell by now that you’d been holding something back, and realizing for the first time that perhaps this wasn’t all about him.

You told him everything.

Your first sexual experience was with somebody who called you ‘ugly’ and ‘obese’ as soon as your clothes were removed. The first man to touch you in that way had used that privilege, not to lift you up and make you feel beautiful, but to tear you down, destroying your confidence in the process. Now, being in full view when having sex was almost unbearable to you, so you avoided Five seeing you completely naked and you avoided being on top as far as you could, lest it break the illusion and he see you for what you really were. 

You stopped occasionally to cry, unable to meet Five’s eyes. It was partially the memories, and partly the fact that you were bearing your soul to him in this way: totally vulnerable. You were giving power to him now; knowledge of how to hurt you worse than almost anything if he chose. 

As he listened, Five’s heavy brows lowered further and further, his lips becoming thinner and thinner, occasionally shaking his head as you unfolded the tale.

“Shit.” he said, after you finished your story, and then fell into silence. After almost a full minute, he spoke in a low, serious tone.

“What was his name?”

“It doesn’t matter,” you said, wiping your eyes.

“What was his name?”

You told him.

“Well he’s a fucking idiot, you know that right? A nasty little…you know where he lives?”

“No.”

“No problem, I can find him.”

“Five-”

“First I’ll pull out his fucking fingernails.”

“Five, no.”

“I’ll kill that cunt slow. Ignorant-”

“Five!” 

Your raised voice finally made him turn his head.

“What good would killing him do?”

He blinked. 

“It would make me feel better,” he said, though the murderous fantasies seemed to be fading from behind his eyes. 

Then, he shook his head, casting the thoughts away like a dog shaking off water. 

“....I  admit that making me feel better is low on our priority list right now.”

He held out his arms to you. When you didn’t immediately enter his embrace, he spoke in a voice so soft, and so caring that you couldn’t deny him. 

“Please, my love.” 

My love?

That was new. 

You leaned up against him, and he wrapped his arms tightly around you, one around your shoulders, the other around your waist. 

“You don’t have to feel self-conscious or…ashamed around me. You know I would never - you know that I…I worship you, for Chist’s sake. I’m desperate to see all of you. That guy was an ignorant, tasteless bastard. You don’t - surely you know that?”

You nodded uncertainly, another tear running down the side of your nose. 

“I guess,” you said, mouth against his firm pectoral, feeling the steady rhythm of his heart, “but I always get scared. Like you might…like one day you might see me and...get grossed out. Because…I know, I know I’m not sexy. I know I’m -”

“You think you aren’t sexy?” he said, speaking as if you’d just claimed that you were an organic cucumber, “are you crazy?” 

He pulled away from you, a hand on each shoulder so he could look you dead in the eye.

“Jesus, you think I’d be ‘grossed out’ if I saw you? I’m not blind, y'know; a bedsheet or a light switch can’t really hide your body from me. You’re so sexy, I can barely think straight sometimes - how in the hell can you not see that? I’d choose you for looks over any girl, every damn time. The other day when you were wearing that tight black dress- god, I pitched a tent big enough to sleep eight.”

And the way he looked down at your silhouette had you almost believing him.

You smiled, nevertheless self conscious of the idea of your black dress being more form-hugging than you’d thought. Five continued, sweeping his hair carelessly out of his eyes. 

“And it’s not just your face or your body, it’s the way you carry yourself. The way your hair falls, your smile, the color of your skin. It’s just attractive. It’s hot. End of story.”

The vehemence in his face made you smile a little more. He looked the way he did when he’d just completed a complex mathematical proof: buzzing with the knowledge of pure, objective truth. From his perspective, he had just conclusively proved an undeniable fact. 

“I know I’m biased because I love you, but anyone would say that you’re beautiful. When you met Klaus, he took me aside and told me I was punching way over my weight. I didn’t even argue-”

But you interrupted him.

“You love me?”

He fell silent abruptly, playing back his last words in his mind.

Yup, he’d definitely said it. 

He swallowed. He was an idiot.

“Well yes. Actually, I do.” 

Before you had time to do anything except gape, he rushed to fill the silence:

“I know it’s not been too long, and I don’t expect you to feel the same-”

“But I do.”

He fell silent again, his eyes on yours. 

They were strange eyes. Their shape and color, although beautiful, were normal enough, but there was a little something in their expression that always took you firmly by the throat. One might fall into those eyes and drown, yet his hand, coming to take yours, tethered you to the water’s edge. 

“You sure?”

“Never been more sure of anything,” you breathed.

His lips gave a spasm and, for a moment, you both thought he was going to cry too, but instead, he just smiled. He smiled for you a lot, but the clear, open love in this one was like being bathed in warm sunlight, and you luxuriated in it.

Then, he laughed. He giggled, in fact. It bubbled up his throat and out of his mouth before he could temper it into anything that sounded more sophisticated.

“We love each other,” he said, grinning in a dopey, infectious way.

When you smiled back, he cupped your chin gently, those eyes keeping your face upturned to his just as firmly as his hand did. He leaned into you.

At first, his kiss was tender, and your lips slid past and around one another like an embrace. But when he leaned forward, forcing you back onto your pillows, his tongue entered your mouth, and the kiss took on a more amorous character. He made a low noise as he deepened his tongue’s quest into your mouth, and you reciprocated with a soft bite to his lower lip. 

He growled, and heat spread through you as his kiss became rough and firm, pressing you into the pillows now with the weight of his body. All the tenderness had transferred from his lips to his hands, one stroking reassuringly through your hair, and the other at your waist, giving you feather-light, electric touches through the bedsheets.

Your hands came to his subtly muscled back, and cinched him closer to you. The heat was concentrating now, pooling in your lower stomach and swirling there as his unyielding lips let you know that resistance was futile. Your skin was alight with every gentle, loving touch from his fingers, now starting to work their way beneath the bedsheets.

He broke the kiss just long enough to speak. His voice matched the kiss: deep, rough and feral.

“Let me see you.”

Though it was a command, it had the sound of a request, so you took it as such.

Despite the desire now aching in your guts, your fears were still there: perhaps irrational in this situation, but no less real. Beneath the sheets, Five’s hand squeezed and massaged the flesh just above your hip. The touch spoke of his renewed need, but it spoke also of his restraint: his hand had stopped just shy of the area you’d usually hide.

“Please.”

And the word, in that husky voice, broke you. 

“Okay,” you said, arousal threatening to be overcome by nerves, “just…take it slowly.”

He nodded distractedly. His eyes were roaming your skin as he came to kneel between your legs. Both of his hands were now inching the bedsheets down, from your waist to the swell of your hips.

He made a low noise in his throat, and his soft hair fell onto the newly-exposed torso as he bent to kiss it, hot presses of his lips against sensitive skin. His hands skimmed you, feeling out your flesh.

“So beautiful,” he growled, looking up at you, fingers worming their way beneath the sheets again, “is this okay?”

You nodded as he pulled the sheets down another few inches, exposing your stomach to just below the navel. As the air met the newly-exposed skin, you felt gooseflesh prickle across your arms, your stomach tightening with the feeling of exposure. “Pretty girl.” Five cooed, running his hands across your tummy, his pressure gentle, but proprietary. 

With another slow shift of the sheets, and you were exposed to your pubic bone. He let out a breath and squeezed the skin of your hips, smiling at you broadly. It was the dangerous, toothy smile.

“I’m sorry, my love, but I’m afraid we’re going to have to get you over this. I’m going to have to make you realize how fucking hot you are, because I’m going to need to hold onto you just like this while you bounce on my cock. I need to watch these tits bounce while you ride me.”

He squeezed your flank harshly, making you gasp, and you arched your back into him as he leaned forward to take each nipple into his mouth. There was a low rumble in his throat as he first nibbled, and then soothed each tortured bud with his tongue. Your whines tailed off into moans, as arousal and the intensity of his desire once again overcame your fears. 

You felt his satisfied smile around your nipples, and then his hands left your hips to paw and knead your breasts, weighing and bouncing them in each hand. 

He gave you another kiss on the lips before straightening up, so that he was kneeling over you again, head tilted as he looked down on you, almost speculatively. The position made it obvious that he was hard again, his bulge stretching the fabric of his white boxer-briefs, leaning up against his stomach and beginning to put pressure on the elastic of his waistband. His pretty, curved cock was perfectly outlined by the material: 

“I’m going to make you feel so confident that you’ll push me onto the bed, trap me between your thighs and ride me so hard I get a concussion against the headboard.”

Though the idea made you feel another squirm of discomfort, the humor combined with the lust behind his eyes made you give a small smile.

“Not today,” you said, in a small voice.

The memories were still too close…the hurt from recalling them was only just over the horizon. 

“Not today.” he confirmed, eyes roving down to where the bedsheets still covered your sex, “but can I see your pussy, beautiful?”

“Yes.” you said, barely more than a whisper.

“Mm. Good girl,” he groaned, and pulled the bedsheets down to your knees. 

There you were, fully exposed to him…totally bared. Internally, you were fighting between the urge to cover up, and the urge to please him. You still felt exposed, like a turtle without its shell, vulnerable laid out in front of him. 

He was still taking it all in, eyes lingering on where your thighs were as close together as they could be with his body between your calves.

Part of you was still terrified it was coming. Perhaps he wouldn’t be cruel -  he’d probably try to be polite about it - but he was still about to reject you now that he’d finally got a real look. Perhaps it was okay when his imagination could fill in the blanks, but now he’d actually seen you - 

“Oh,” he said.

And in that syllable, all your fears were proved baseless. The sound was a moan of pure, wanton appreciation.

His tongue slid out to wet his lips, still pink and swollen from his hard kisses. His dominant left hand slid immediately into his underwear, and he began to pump himself vigorously. Apparently, he was more than ready for this evening’s second round. 

“Oh my god,” he groaned, speeding his strokes as his eyes roamed your exposed flesh, “you’re so hot.”

As his eyes came to your thighs and pussy again, he increased the frequency of his strokes, fist still out of sight down his underwear. 

“Five,” you said, anxiously, still feeling slightly uncomfortable. 

“Just a few minutes, baby.” he said, desperately, “Look what you’re doing to me.”

Beneath the material, he retracted his foreskin and pressed the head of his cock against the small, wet patch that had appeared there. The pink of his deeply-flushed cock tip was just visible through the fabric, rendered semi-transparent by his precome.

“I’m already leaking.” he said, agony creeping into his rough voice, “Just a few more minutes. Just until I finish.”

His eyes looked hazy, far away somehow, transported to a place where his body’s need ruled him with an iron fist. It was enchanting to behold, impossibly arousing: Five Hargreeves (the man of impeccably starched, pressed and tightly-buttoned dress shirts), was keening in front of you, totally undone with his hips gyrating into his own fist as he visually devoured your body.

“Let me eat you,” he said, begging now, “I want to jack myself off with my head between those thighs.”

And he groaned at the idea, throwing his head back and speeding his pumps.

Your body didn’t give you the opportunity to turn him down. Your pussy throbbed and slick wetness drooled onto your thighs as you looked up at him, all pale skin, latent strength and desperation.

You gave a small nod, and he bent, first to kiss your lips and then to press small pecks onto each thigh.

“That’s it, baby,” he whispered, “open your legs for me. Show me that pretty pussy.”

And that way, with small kisses progressively further up your thighs, he coaxed your legs wide.

“Good girl,” he crooned, his hand leaving his leaking cock only for the minute it would take to run his index finger up and down your slit. 

You shivered at the contact, too sensitive. He’d already fingered and fucked you to two orgasms tonight, and the feeling of his mouth replacing his finger made you buck immediately. 

“Nngh - Five.”

In response to your moan, he tasted you with a flat tongue. 

Your flavor, a potent honey, made his cock twitch in his hand, and he wrapped his free arm around your leg, drawing you even closer to him. Your soft folds soaked his lips, serving to excite him more.

“Fuck,” he whispered, still in that low growl. His exhale sent warm air dancing across your swollen clit, “you’re so perfect. I love you. I love you so fucking much.”

You had no time to glow with his praise, because he was sucking your clit too hard for you to do anything but gasp. As his mouth worked you, his tongue moved rapidly inside his mouth, flicking deliberately across your aching, needy nub. His tongue pulsed to the same beat as his hand inside his underwear, unconsciously matching the rhythm of your pleasure to his.

“God, Five!”

All the shame and discomfort was gone, washed away by the tide of swirling heat. The pleasure curled inside you, winding tighter and tighter. All that mattered now was Five’s clever mouth, pushing you inexorably towards another orgasm. 

Your conscious brain let go, and your hand gripped his hair tightly, not aware that you were pulling him even closer to you, forcing his nose into your mound. 

He grunted like a wounded bear, surprise causing his hand to falter around his cock. It was hard to concentrate, so preoccupied was he by the fact that you were taking control, pressing his face deeper into your folds. It was quite possibly the hottest thing he had ever experienced.

Recovering, he gripped himself even tighter, veins and tendons standing out in his left forearm as he worked himself almost violently. 

He was too close now, and it made him clumsy, completely losing the rhythm of his suckles and tonguing. 

“Nooo!” you whined, thighs tightening around his head, “Like before!”

Though lightheaded with the knowledge that your thighs were crushing his ears, (he was wrong earlier, this was definitely the hottest thing he had ever experienced), Five reluctantly let up on his protesting manhood and concentrated his efforts on your pussy. 

Soon, you were gasping and moaning, writhing, and taking him with you with the power of your thighs. 

“F-Five. Fuuuck. Oh fuck, that’s it!” 

Your cunt gushed onto his face as he brought you to orgasm. He groaned again as his chin and cheeks were soaked with sweet slickness. He strained to hear you scream his name, your thighs rendering him deaf as they clutched around his ears. While he couldn’t hear the individual words, he certainly heard enough to flatter his ego. 

Wave after wave of ecstasy was crashing through you, and you babbled meaninglessly: unconnected, incomprehensible syllables. Behind closed eyes, you were seeing stars, completely unaware of everything but the explosion going on in your lower body.

He withdrew, finally, when your thighs relaxed and your climax abated to spasms down your limbs. As you were still catching your breath, he rose to his knees, wiped his sodden mouth, and took himself in hand again, looking at you splayed, completely on display and too drunk on his sex to care.

It took him fewer than ten pumps to bring himself to orgasm. 

“Fucking gorgeous - cunt tastes so good. Mm - fucking perfect, so fucking hot. Oh shit!”

Eyebrows raised, mouth wide in a perfect ‘o’, he exploded into his underwear.

You could see his first shots of come soaking through the material before he was even finished painting their insides with spurts of his thick seed: an impressive load given the fact it was his second in under an hour. 

His throat ground out a low whine as he slowed his hand. 

He took four or five seconds to catch his breath, and in that time your conscious mind took a firmer hold. Though you pulled the bedsheets up and over you, it was more for physical comfort rather than mental. 

Five crawled beneath the sheets beside you, still breathing hard. When he collapsed on the pillow, he turned to you.

“Believe me now?” he asked, “you think I’d wank myself raw over someone I thought was ugly?”

You smiled and let out a small puff of air; a shy little laugh.

He propped himself up on one elbow while his other hand caressed your body beneath the sheets.

“You’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen,” he said, firmly, “To me, you’re a renaissance painting, and I was there when Titian finished Venus and Cupid, okay?”

“Okay,” you murmured, eyes already heavy, “I’m sorry that I squeezed your head with my legs.”

“You kidding me?” he said, amused, “You could break my neck with your thighs and I’d die happy…what a way to go.”

“Well,” you said, a little discomfort returning, “I still feel bad.”

“Baby steps,” he said, voice as soft as his hand now stroking hair away from your eyes, “soon I’ll have you riding me fast and rough.”

You smiled and let his caresses close your tired eyes. After a few minutes, in which he looked lovingly down at your gentle doze, his voice sounded again.

“Can I at least beat the living shit out of that guy?”

You considered.

“...Maybe.”

Request masterlist >> HERE

NOTE: Dear sweet, anonymous girl, I see you. You did not deserve this, and this was never your problem. These formative experiences really do hurt us, and yours was such an extreme version that I'm not surprised it's given you these insecurities. I can promise you, it does get better. Feminism and loving yourself is at least half the battle, but nothing quite cements the truth like this: One day, you will be naked in front of a guy you trust completely. He'll look at you with that lustful, testosterone-fuelled glower and you'll know without a shadow of a doubt that, to him, you are venus. I take Five requests, I'm fairly versatile in what I write (fluff, smut, angst, psychological character study- I'll try it all) but I will consider them on a case by case basis. See masterlist for request status and more.

[iouinotes]

Beautiful Boy | Alex Walter

pairing: Alex Walter x female!reader

show: My life with the Walter Boys

warnings: mostly fluff and love confessions, but a bit of implied sexual activities

word count: 4,6k

summary: You are completely in love with your best friend. When the chance is given, you decide to finally take it and show your love.

a/n: The story will mention a review from the past, where they play truth or dare. So, I was inspired to write that scenario: match made in heaven is here!

He's everything I ever wished for. It´s silly, thinking about it, really. My ongoing crush for him since the first time I met him all these years ago.

It was during the first day after the winter holiday. It was dark outside, very cold and rainy weather. Well, unfortunately it did not look like that in the morning, so I instantly panicked after school, because I forgot to bring my jacket. Normally one of my friends picked me up after school and drove me home, but she was sick today and I heard about her being ill, last minute.

So now I´m standing in the hallway, debating if I should better start to go to the bus station (probably getting soaked) or if I just walk to the school library, hoping that the weather cools down. I was drowning in my own thoughts, when I first heard his voice.

"Are you okay?" The second my eyes landed on him, I was gone for good. Because the boy in front of me was utterly beautiful. Handsome round face, freckles, warm brown eyes and a shy smile. One look at him and I fell in love with his beauty. Little did I know, I would soon fall head over heals for his personality or the way his voice sounds when he is making fun of me, because I believe in love at first sight. How could I not, when I have met him?

He was very caring the first time we met. Even though I was embarrassed of my situation, he made me feel comfortable. When I told him about my difficulty, he instantly helped me out. He told me, that his brother also picked him up from school every day, so it wouldnt be a problem, if I came along. Not only this sweet gesture made me speechless, it was also the way he stripped out of his jacket and gave it to me without hesitation, when we went outside and he saw that I didnt bring a jacket.

"What? No, I can´t-" I tried to argue, but one blink of his lashes, one look at his eyes, was enough to keep me occupied. "My mom would kill me, if I didnt. It´s okay, I dont mind." He really was the sweetest. His jacket kept in fact, keep me warm. And it also smelled like him, thats what made me blush in the end. I didnt know, if he noticed me looking at him from time to time (but then again, he nowadays didnt noticed it either), but I could not contain myself.

He was a gentleman, shy and adorable. He was all I wished for in a guy. When his brother - who I idetified as the most popular guy of our school- Cole, came in sight, only then it clicked. The boy in front of me, with his nervous smile, was Alex Walter.

When the car parked and the headlights were visible in the rain, we quickly ran to the blue vehicle. His brother didnt talk much, so the car ride was mostly quiet, my eyes were out the window and my thoughts were on Alex previous gesture of holding the door open for me. He didnt intend for me to fall in love with him, but I couldnt think of anything else to do, better than exactly that.

"I didnt get your name?" was all he said, when the car stopped in front of my house. "Oh right, sorry. Im y/n." He smiled again at me and my heart wanted to jump out off my chest. I didnt really notice Cole in the front and his famous "Cole effect". I was all catched up, by the beautiful boy next to me.

"Alex" he shook my hand and it made me giggle. I saw his ears turning pink at my laughter, so I smiled at him, so he knew I wasnt making fun of him. He relaxed then, but much to my dislike the blonde brother spoke up, before I could say something else. "I dont have all day, so are you two done looking at each other or can you go now? I swear, I saw y´all nearly kiss." At that, I was the one who turned red. "Sorry, thanks for the ride and-" as I wanted to strip off the jacket, Alex stopped my movements. "Oh no, you can have it. I mean- it´s still raining outside, I-I dont want you to get sick." Maybe I was already at that exact moment, falling in love with him. I also think, that his words made my cheeks turn a shade of red, that wasnt even on a scala anymore, because it was so high.

"But when do I give it back to you?" The last thing I wanted to do, was crossing a line with the Walter brothers. And maybe I also hoped to see him again. "Tomorrow? I will be in the gaming room in third grade. If thats okay with you?" He spoke quickly, because Cole kept getting more annoyed. "No, its fine. Thank you, Alex." I kissed him on the cheek (dont know where that one came from) and before I could look back, I was already out of the car and running towards the house. When I opened the door and the warmth embraced me, I looked out of the window from my house. The car was already gone, but I remember smiling so bright, I almost could not contain the happy feeling that consumed me.

That was the first time, my diary heard of Alex Walter.

The next day, I searched through three gaming rooms before I finally found him, starring at his laptop. As soon as I tapped him gently on the shoulder, he turned around and looked at me suprised. When he asked me, if I had had any trouble finding him, I said "what no, it took five minutes", when in reality it took 20 minutes, but he sounded really sincere, so it didnt matter.

That was the start of our ever-lasting friendship. We became best friends quickly and are verly close ever since, he is my other half. We are always together, in the hallway, at lunch, we see each other at the weekends and we even got the price "the best of best friends" by our friendgroup. I mean it was funny and its nice, really. But it says everything. We are just friends.

It´s very funny actually, because he knows me better than anyone and I can´t keep one secret from him. He just knows, when something is up. But my biggest secret of all time, that was the part where he was clueless about.

My love for him.

He just doesnt notice and I tried to not show it, but everyone knows I like him. Well, expect for him. When I look at him too long, because I (again) got lost in his eyes or looked a second too long at his lips, while he talked, he thinks he has something on his face. When I compliment him, for literal anything, he thinks I make fun of him, so he doesn't take it seriously. And I tried almost everything, so he could finally notice. Maybe then he could make the first move.

I once talked about my ideal type, because it was a truth or dare on my birthday party and I literally described him - he didnt notice. I swoon on a daily basis over his beauty, his intelligence , his personality, his habits, his cute flaws like staying up all night to play a video game - he doesnt know. I tried to learn his favorite video game, I read the Lord of the Rings saga, I even watched baseball games with him, I do anything so he will notice, how much I care about him. But he just doesn't get it.

If I would know, he simply didnt like me that way, I could somehow cope with that. But then, there are moments, where I would catch him starring at me, where he seems to be the one wanting me. He watches romantic movies with me and lets me cry about it after, when I´m sad about the ending, Sometimes I even get to lay on his chest. He listens when I talk about my newest book obsession, he goes shopping with me, even though he hates it. He helps me studying and I can tell him anything, he´s always there for me.

So it could be, that maybe my feelings were not completely unrequited. But then again, why didnt he made a move by now? Nevertheless, it keeps me awake at night. Because I want nothing more than to kiss his soft lips, feel his skin against mine, to look at his eyes and study every single freckle from his neck to his forehead. I want to love him. In a way, he knows it.

These feelings, these thoughts are constantly in my head. Especially now, when I sit across him and simply look at his concentrated face. His eyebrows are drawn together, he´s currently biting on his bottom lip, his nose scrunched in a frown. The light of his room shows me every little detail of his face. In moments like this, on a friday evening, where we study together for a biology test, I wish he would know how I feel about him. Because it would make everything so much easier.

Its currently raining outside, a remember of our first encounter, the clouds are dark and I hear loud thunder since the last couple of minutes went by. "Do you think, it will get better? The weather clearly looks bad." I shift my gaze to look at him and when I catch him starring at me, my heart swells in my chest.

I want to break the distant between us and close the gap of our lips. Want to get to know every little detail of his body. But as he speaks up, I clear my head. "I dont know, Danny said something about a storm. I honestly didnt know, it would be that bad." He closes his textbook and stands up, looking out the window. ,,Should I go?" My question suprises him. "Now? I think if you take a step outside, you will get swept up by your feet. It´s not safe." He looks at me unwary. "I dont know, I always wanted to fly. Maybe thats a sign." I grin at him and he laughs quietly. "Yeah, of course. Let me ask my dad, what he thinks is for the best. Maybe he can get you an umbrella and you do your best Mary Poppins impression."

~~~~~~

30 minutes later I find myself in a full-on Walter-family-disscussion. "But uncle! I dont get to have girls stay overnight. Thats unfair!" Lee is looking at George, unable to hide his jealousy. "When did a girl ever wanted to stay overnight with you?" Isaac asks from across the table. Lee just ignores him, an angry look in his eyes.

"Look, its nothing that I will allow forever. But right now, she cant go home, so she is welcomed to stay here." I smile at him, thankful that I´m not getting thrown out. "Also, she is like a thirteen family member. She´s practically living here." George added. One look at Alex and I wanted to know what he was thinking. Was I just like a sister to him? "Okay enough of that. Y/n, dear you are welcome to stay the night. We will figure it out. Nathan is staying with Skylar, so his bed is free." I´m glad, Katherine is here. I thank her and George and by the time, we ate dinner and Alex got me a toothbrush, so I could get ready for bed, it was late after 11.

As I make my way back to Alex's room after using the bathroom to change into my clothes, leaving me with shorts and a shirt, Cole is suddenly standing next to me. "Well, what a great opportunity for you." He grins at me. At his comment, I am visible confused. "What do you mean?" I look up to his smiling figure. "You have him all by yourself, of course. Your chance to finally do something. I can´t stand it anymore, you like him and he likes you. I always thought you were the clever one out of you two, so please put everyone out of this misery and kiss him, because he´s a complete idiot. It's long overdue for you two to get together."

His words leave me stunned. After he´s done talking, he makes his way silently back to his own room and I´m still standing in the hallway, trying to process his words. Kiss him. He likes you. Does Alex really likes me or is that some cruel joke for Cole? I hope not. Because my friends have told me several times, that they think, Alex likes me too. But I always thought, they were wrong.

My heart is heavily pounding as I make my way back to his room, taking a deep breath as I open the door. Alex is playing a video game, as always, but I see that he also changed into something more comfortable. It helps me calm down my nerves, when I see him doing something, he always does. I take a few steps towards his chair and his concentrated figure.

I mean, what was there in life, if I didnt take any risks? If he likes me back, it could be the answer to all my dreams and if not - well, the weather was still going pretty bad and could help me out of the awkward situation.

When I decided to test their he-likes-you-too-theory, I quickly came up with a plan. Okay, so I wasnt the best at flirting, that was for sure, but I could make a move. For starters, I wanted something, I often thought about.

As I stand behind him, I trace my fingers along his shoulders, hearing his surprised breath, that he quickly tries to hide. Well too bad, I heard it.

"Alex?" My voice is quiet.

"...yes?" I can see his muscles tense, while I keep touching his shoulders, going lower until I touch his arm. Something about what Cole said, about Alex liking me, gives me a certain confidence, that wasnt there before. Please dont let the King of hooking up be wrong.

"Could I borrow one of your hoodies? I´m freezing and only have my shirt." I try not to think about the possibility that he laughs in my face and says no. But then again, I know that Alex wouldnt do that. "I-uh, yeah. You can, um, grab one out of my closet." I smile to myself, when I see his eyes nervously scanning the display. He paused the game, even though he doesnt look at me while he talks.

"Thanks." As I turn towards his closet, I get the feeling that he´s secretly watching me choose a hoodie. When I get a hold on a dark green one, I immediately know its the one from when we first met. I take it and walk towards the other bed, getting a glimpse of his eyes, that continue to follow me. And then I do something, I thought I would never do in front of him. I change out of my top, the cold air hitting my skin and I hear him gasps.

When I change into his hoodie, a settling warmth embraces me. I smile to myself, a joy blooms in my chest, the feeling of wearing his clothes, makes me feel too good to be true. The shorts I´m wearing are the same ones as before and I think, that I kinda like the casual look. And maybe it looks fine, that could be a good way to get Alex attention. My shorts cover my thighs, but because his hoodie is bigger than what I normally wear, this way it looks like I only wear his hoodie.

When I turn around and fix my hair, he already started another game again. Okay, mission getting-some-sort-of-reaction, is starting to get interesting. "Soo, what do you think? Too big?" I wait for his reaction. When he slowly turns around, one hand holding up his headphones, I see him trying not to stare too hard. But since I see his eyes scanning my body, it´s impossible for him to pretend. I smile to myself.

"And?" I make a step in his direction, watching him swallow. His eyes wander to the floor and a nervous expression crosses his face. "I- I need to finish this game so-" he turns around so fast, I´m almost surprised his neck didnt broke. Shit. That wasnt part of the plan. I glance around the room, trying to come up with something, another way to keep his attention at me. I sit on his bed, near his computer and decide to watch him play. I hear the sound of the game playing in the background, while I continue to think of a way for him to notice me.

And even though I keep my hands to myself, I see him sqirming in his seat. I laugh quietly. "Everything okay?" it seems he isnt that concentrated anymore. "Yeah, uh, are you bored? You never watch me play." His head turns to look at me. "You could teach me some moves." I say, looking at him and then the game, that shows a spider attacking some creature. He raises his eyebrows at my words.

"You sure? I thought you didnt like video games." My eyes wander to his lap as I quickly come up with a plan. "Maybe I will like it, if you show me some tricks. And also, I like you and you´re really interested in gaming, so I thought I could make an effort." His cheeks are blushing, my eyes are starring at his clueless ones.

A smile tucks at his lips, but he tries to keep his cool. "I mean, I´m really good at this, so I could teach you one or two lessons. Where do you want to sit? I only have one gaming chair, but-" he glances around the room, trying to come up with something.

"Well, we could share?" I ask, my voice sounding sincere and not as much thrilled at the idea, to sit in his lap, even though I am freaking out in my thoughts. His eyes widen, when he realizes what I just said.

"You want to-" he doesn't finish his sentence, stuttering at the idea of me sitting on his lap. "If thats okay with you, of course? I think its the best solution, I mean I do want the full experience. So its fair." I see him nervously licking his lips. "Yeah, yeah. I get that. Okay, cool, how do you want to-" I smile at him and his nervous speech. "Just relax, I dont bite. You do know that, right?" I laugh when I see his ears turning pink.

"Right. So uh, come here, I guess?" He puts his arms on the armrests to give me good access and I feel myself getting nervous. God, I never got to be this close to him. I stand up, his eyes take my form in his sweater in, I see him starring at the naked skin. And when I see something shining in his hair, I act without a second thought.

"You have something in your hair, dummy." It's a little paper ball from Benny, probably from the previous dinner (fight), I lean myself down, facing him forward in his lap and cross my legs over his thighs. I don't notice what position we are in until I lean back to show him the piece of paper and suddenly, I'm just a few centimeters from his face. Shocked by the less to no space we have left between us, he doesn't speak and neither do I. We just look at each other.

"i-i got it." The words leave my mouth, the distance between our faces -god his lips look so soft- leaves me speechless. It takes him a moment, but when he answers he sounds just as out of breath as me.

"thanks."

Again, we sit in silence. Suddenly I loose my balance and I almost fall out of the chair, but his arms are quick to catch me. So now, he has his arms around my waist and my arms linger around his shoulders for support. If I would lean closer, I could kiss him.

The thought of kissing him, makes me sqirm and when he lays his hands onto my waist to still my movements, I feel dizzy. Because Im not just sitting on his legs. Indeed, I sit literally on his lap. So when I feel myself getting wet, because he makes me so touch starved, I completely loose my mind.

"Im sorry- i didnt mean to sit that way. I just-" his eyes are so fascinating, brown, green and warm. It feels like he´s looking at my soul. He´s watching my every move. I know I should probably get up, but its the first time, he is that close to me and I cant stop looking at him.

Without a thought in my head, I raise my hand and touch his cheek. I see his lips breaking apart, so he can draw a surprised breath. "You have so many freckles everywhere." My eyes wander around his face. His voice comes back to life for a second, but only to sign. "Too many, actually." I draw my eyebrows together.

"It suits you and it´s not too much. Thats a perfectly fine amount of freckles. Look-" I start to count them. Each and every one. Starting from his ears towards his cheeks, his nose, further down until I stop at his lips. "You have one right above the corner of your mouth." I mutter, my thumb brushes his lips for a second.

Caught, my eyes sneak back to search his gaze. But he just looks at me. My heart feels like it could break any second, if I dont open my mouth to say something.

"You are" I begin to say "so beautiful to me. Every freckle you have, the colour of your eyes, your hair, your lips, your voice, just you."

I cant hold back anymore.

"i-i love you, Alex. I really do. I thought it would just be a crush that would go away, when time goes on, but it hasnt. You´re in every piece of my heart, you hold it together. You are my joy, my laugh, my sadness, you were everything for me, the first second I got to know you. Because you are the best person in my life, my best friend, my other half, my partner in crime, I would bail you out of jail in a heartbeat. Without you, my heart wouldn't beat anymore anyway. Because you make it live. Every day, every time I see you. Maybe if I would have known better, I would have never agreed to take your jacket, the first time we met. If I would have known, how absolutely in love I would get with you, it would have scared me to death. But now? Now I know better than to be away from you, because I better live as your best friend than without having you in my life. Because now, being away from you would be my death."

In one second, I bail my heart out and before I know it, he takes my face in his hands and leans forward. He stops his movement right before our lips touch.

"I think you will be the death of me too, sweetheart."

And with that, he kisses me.

Slow at first, his lips touch mine, so very soft and gentle. I almost think I´m dreaming, because his lips do feel like a dream to me. His hands caress my back and I clutch to his shoulders, afraid the moment will end. His warm hands strive back to my cheeks, tilding my head in a way he can have more access.

And I let him, mainly because I´m too caught up with this emotion and also because I would let him do anything with me. My hands are in his dark hair, gently tugging at his strings, so I get to hear that little breathless sound he makes, that makes my heart flutter.

I sink in his warm embrace, moving my lips with the same rhythm as him, hearing my heartbeat in my ears. His right hand goes to the back of my neck and this action makes me weak in the knees. And he notices it. Gently he breaks apart, leaving me with the want to have more of him and when I open my eyes - I didnt know I closed them - he looks at me, like I´m the sun and he´s the moon, that was away for too long.

"God, you´re so beautiful." His voice is deep, I can hear him catch his breath. His words make my heart ache until I think it isnt able to comprehend his compliment. I feel his lips again, my eyes flutter at the contact. One hand around my hip, holding me steady and the other one, around my neck, making me unsteady.

"alex-" a moan wants to escape me, but I try to hold myself together. His lips leave my mouth and trail further down, finding a spot at the curve of my neck.

"god, yes. Say my name again." I´m pretty sure, I never wanted him more than now.

My hands linger in his hair, I feel his hot breath on my skin and clench my thighs together. He is making me feel all worked up. As his lips leave that spot, I whimper his name, but as soon as his mouth leaves my body, he reconnects with it.

Brushing my hair aside, he kisses me again for a second before he lets go of me. With that, im completely convinced he hates me, the way he´s making me suffer. I hear him quietly laugh, so I slowly open my eyes to watch his face.

"You look drunk on love. Are you alright?" He smiles at me, looking at me, like he didnt just turn my world up site down (and my panties wet, by the way).

"What?" I ask, catching my breath. His skin glows and as I watch every detail of his face (how could I not), I almost miss his next sentence. "I would have never thought that this was your idea of gaming." I feel his shoulders move, when he tries to keep himself from laughing.

I gently smile and roll my eyes. "You are just too handsome for me, to concentrate on anything other than you." His cheeks turn red and there´s a glimmer in his eyes, that makes me feel completed. "So that´s why you have bad grades in math, maybe I shouldnt be sitting next to you then." His joke makes me laugh.

"Well, maybe you can give me some private lessons, so I could improve." At that, he opens his mouth, but no words are said. "Too stunned to speak?" I lean forward, his eyes follow my lips. "You just never flirted with me, its distracting." He looks up.

I just shake my head. One of my hands sneaks around to linger at his cheek. "Oh, trust me. I have. You just never noticed." His eyebrows rise. "Thats a shame. But I guess I have now." He catches my lips.

Yes, he definitely did notice me now.

[nori-the-cat]

a bit of a long ramble but

I'e been observing and following kpop on and off for some time because theres really not much other music out rn besides whatever is mainstream and even that doesnt always interest me enough. but I just wonder why so much of kpop has been so dramatic lately? lkke in these past few years online drama seems to increase surrounding idols especially and what idols do in their personal life doesnt need to be shared online like wtf and it just seems like every small thing for kpop groups tend to become big drama or their fans make it big drama all the time. thats why i watch from afar these days cause it seems anyone can have negative thing to say abt anyone whos in the kpop entertainment. even if there is some good things abt kpop music, overall it doesnt paint it in good light cause it make their fans seem like a pack of wild vultures who watch their idols like hawkes or ppl who cant seem to mind their business or let idols roam freely in their spare time cause smartphones seem to mean ppl can shove them in the idols face esp at airports.

its just kind of tiring most of the time like if people just liked it for the songs it wouldnt be so bad instead it seems to be one extreme or the other. i dont blame idols for never saying who they date bc look at what happened to karina and the actor. social media just spoils the fun of something and makes it into something else enitrely where its now often filled with dramas or toxic behaviours idfk whatever ppl post towards idols it only for them to get more negative reactions. i wouldnt be surprised if most idols are already dating but when it seem to get leaked in the media then ppl who are their fans act like it end of the world. i think the problem isnt social media itself but more so smartphones bc ppl who are more their hard core stans, i guess is the right word, they might go to extremes and they keep showing that extreme behaviour any time something doesnt sit right with them. like one minute the idol can be worshipped and next they can be tarnished so they cant really win anymore.

when ppl say that kpop is becoming westernised i only think thats in the sense of them adding foreigners nowadays to the groups, but the groups and their fans are still very much particular towards things like in 2024 i didnt expect idols dating to still be considered a scandal? whereas in the west they date who they want or idfk adult idols going out to clubs and drinking seem to surprise some folk. even the stuff in the media dont surprise me anymore cause it no a big deal to me at least. honestly with the way their fans behave online and irl towards idols theres one thing im glad abt and that is i will never have to deal with them or knetz lol.

its shame bc theres still so much kpop could bring to music but its so formatted and rigid or set in its ways of doing things. the other thing is they arent debuting older age idols who may have more life experiences and they may be more mentally prepared to handle such fans behaviours or they might have different style vocals and so on, so with that in mind im like its so awkward and horrible to even watch the way much younger idols get treated or mistreated, i should say, by their own fans and maybe by other adults that they work with.

other than whatever is mainstream there doesnt seem to be market for my age group anymore cause in kpop theyre debuting them too young and ik they always done that but it still feels weird to me to like a group whos 4/5/6 years younger than myself. id have loved an other group like btob or a smaller version of exo but nowadays it seems groups have nearly 30 smth members in them and they usually have to be quite young :/ if ateez had been my age it would seal the deal but i dont even care too deeply for them either its just once in awhile sort of thing i will like their songs why does it always have to be more than that?

like im no going to go doolally about every group nowadays either for this reason that my generation seems to be getting left out of a lot of things to do with kpop. like i honestly really feel old these days esp when i look at an idol and theyre like a 99liner or 00liner :O and kpop probs now considers 20 year olds too old as well :( fomo sets in too when u dont particularly care deeply abt dance challenges or latest internet fads cause i rather just like a group for their songs or their talent than their looks or their group position / personality whatever its called

lastly whoever date or marry bts i honestly feel so bad for them like they going to get so much media attention and their fans wont like it either so the internet will descend into more chaos when they marry if they arent already secretly married that is. it really sometimes often feels like the beatles but with the internet involved its 100x more crazy no matter the group it always has bunch of crazies who seem to twke it way too far

sorry for my long ramble

GUUUUUURRRRL please don’t be sorry for your long ramble. I had similar thoughts as you but I have come to terms with it, especially when I’m the same age as NCT 127 Jungwoo things in K-pop music has become less enjoyable too. Hence, I don’t know much about newer groups or groups outside of my interests ㅠ ㅠ

You also pointed out how fans can idolise their idols and drop them the next minute when they’re “wrong”, for example going to the club, dating, and having a life basically. I think all of this is the company’s fault. Take SM for example, I’m not comfortable in the direction that RIIZE is going with the booheju (girlfriend stan) stuff, but it’s what it makes money? Because of this, I’ve slowly detaching myself from them and only like their songs and I have one particular member that I like, he is Lee Sohee. I also like him because of his singing skill and that’s all.

Overall, I agree with you. Tbh it’s the parasocial relationship that is an issue. Some fans seeks comfort from their idol and the idol gives them that. However, often they forget that an idol job stops when they’re behind the camera. They have a life too. So, I’m with you on this too. I have started to like a group for their song and less about what is trendy or their looks and personality. Girl groups wise I’m into Aespa, NewJeans and BabyMonster. Their songs are right up my alley. Now, the younger idols debuting is a problem in it of itself. But this has happened way before in Kpop. Take Taemin for example, or NCT Dream Jisung. I think the main reason is that the younger they are, the easier to “manipulate” them or influence them. I guess if a company debuts someone above 25 years old, they’re going to have a hard time dealing with them because their pre-frontal cortex has developed.

that’s my easiest bet! 🤡

I’m also not Korean so I can’t say for certain this is true. However, I’m Asian. I realise Asian people put so much emphasis on good character. Because of this, idols are seen as role models and they are constantly judged and put on a pedestal. It’s kinda sad really. So, take Seunghan for example, whether his rumours are true or not. His scandal has been a huge part of his idol career and to some, it could look like there is no going back. In terms of fan wars, I think people on the internet are just bored or mean. Most fan wars started by some troll or a fan who likes to compare other idols. I don’t know much about fan wards but this is what I noticed. I’m pretty sure if BTS gets married, it is during the time of their life where they are not at their “prime”. That way is easier for them to be accepted by their fans and the South Korean. Take, Ryewook from Super Junior. He got married recently and the fans seem fine. But ofc, we can’t exclude the obsessive fans. I’m sure idols realise they have obsessive fans. In general, I’m pretty sure idols knows their consequences and downsides to being an idol. We as fans also have full control of our interests. The only thing becoming Westernised in kpop is the song and not the culture. 🤡

[bonny-kookoo]

Jungkook: Velvet Heart 🔞

There's something wrong with Jungkook.

Tags/Warnings: Yandere AU, Idol!Jungkook, captivity, emotional manipulation, violence (not against mc), injury, medication and abuse of such, obsession, OCD, blackmail, very shady ways of the company in regards to JKs issues, fluff but its.. You'll see, NSFW mentioned but not descriptive

Length: Short

!! Disclaimer: I do not believe Jeon Jungkook to be like this, God no. This is pure fiction, and meant to be seen as nothing but entertainment. Thank you.

♥━━━━━━━━━━━♡━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

Jungkook has always been an odd kid.

But nowadays, there's no denial that there's something terribly wrong with the now young adult. He's social when needed, a perfect actor in front of the media, shows himself as both sexy and cute to please a broad variety of fans. But he's not quite right in his head, and everybody knows.

Onve you know what he's capable of, what he's already done, that smile of his looses its innocence. Those eyes of his change in their sparkle. His grin is no longer cute- it's dangerous. Menacing. Like a wolf snarling in your face.

It's not a smile of happiness. It's more like a warning.

No one's ever allowed in his hotel room - not even room service. He himself actually has a habit of bringing along his own bedsheets, so you'll never leave a trace of yourself anywhere, but at his own home, he shares with you. If he has to bring you along to schedules, no one's allowed to look at you, speak to you, nothing. You're basically to be treated as invisible. Only he can ever interact with you.

And you? Well.. you don't have many memories apart from him.

Found by him at the side of a lake, washed up from your own failed act of jumping out of life, you'd suffered harsh injuries to your brain, leaving you with not only amnesia, but other problems as well. When he'd taken you home, late at night, you couldn't even talk, didn't know how to hold cutlery. He'd instantly done his own research, had looked up ways and therapies he could manage by himself- and so, he somehow helped you learn to exist again.

Maybe that's why you're so attached to him. Horribly so.

You still have a hard time speaking most of the time, but he understands you just fine. Or maybe he doesn't care. You don't mind.

You remember however, when you'd learned the word 'hate'.

You'd spoken it to him one day, randomly to ask what it meant, and he'd suddenly developed an entire mental breakdown. Hands on your shoulders slightly shaking you on the couch, eyes wide open and filled with terror. "No." He said, chanted almost. "No, no, no, no, no!" He shook you, back and forth. "Dont say that, don't ever say that to me! Ever!" He barked before he stilled. "I know you hate me. Everybody does. It's because I'm me, isn't it?" He'd laughed, shaking hands holding your cheeks, before they held your neck. "You do, don't you? You hate me?" He smiled, but you shook your head. He copied the action, amused, emotions all over the place. "No?" He chuckled. "You're such a liar, princess." He laughed, thumb running over the front of your esophagus, before his hands traveled again, forcing your face to look at him. "Thats fine. I still love you." He mumbled. "I'll always love you." He grinned, before kissing you softly.

Sometimes he's like that.

Jungkook doesn't trust anybody, not even himself. He's terrified of loosing you, has invested in a simple portable camera to set up in the hotel room wherever you might stay, so he can watch you like now, as he's getting his makeup done. Everyone, including the other members of the band, know this isn't good. This isn't healthy. But he's a major part of the success they all have.

If he's exposed as a high-functioning sociopath who's keeping someone hostage out of twisted love, everything would crumble to ashes.

So reporters are paid off if they ever find hints. Lawyers are always on call if things go south, or if Jungkook breaks another staff's jaw for accidentally mentioning you. Psychologists are there if one of the members has to watch the youngest pull someone's teeth out from their throat again after snapping out of control because the guy had been smiling at you.

Jungkook had even expected a thanks for it. He'd saved the guy's life, after all.

It's not healthy. Not at all.

But money rules the world- and Jungkook makes them all a lot of it.

Without him, the house of cards will fall and burn.

♥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

On the twelfth of January, he always celebrates with you.

You don't know why, and you also dont know what. You're sure you know it's not your birthday, and neither is it his, but then again, you don't really care either way. You live from one day to the next, and you exist because Jungkook wants you to. So you're happy when he's happy.

"Do you like it?" He smiles, holding out another spoonful of cake to you. You happily accept it while your legs swing back and forth from the height of his lap. He likes feeding you. It reminds him of the earlier times, when he'd just found you. Sometimes, when he's feeling gloomy, he'll Revive those old habits. He'll help you eat, help you clean your face or brush your teeth.

He loves reminding himself that without him, you'd be read. Rotting next to the waters, eaten by bugs and torn apart by animals.

Instead, you live a lavish life under his watch, enjoying what the world has to offer every day. He's trained you like a dog, after all these years. He can trust you. You won't ever run away.

You're way too scared without him, after all. As you should be.

You fall asleep in his arms a bit later on the hotel bed, filled with sweets and his love, while he scrolls for some stuff on his phone. He smiles when he looks at a photograph from the news on the TV he took on his way home one day.

[Missing girl officially declared dead after only one year and two months, police reports. Parents: "we want to move on." All investigations closed as of yesterday, as the case comes to its end.]

Recorded on the 12th of January, three years ago.

♥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

It's quiet around him, these days.

With the lawsuits wrapping up behind closed doors and far away from the public eye, fans worry about the maknae due to his silence. Meanwhile, he himself couldn't be happier, having spent the third day in a row waking up late during the day next to you, sleepy as ever, still resting. You sleep a lot. Always have.

Sometimes more, when he wants you to. Then you'll get some help slumbering off from him. He knows how to measure the dosage. He's done it a thousand times.

In his dreams, you sometimes scream. He doesn't know why, takes it as a warning to hold you even closer, and when he dreams such things, he will be restless. He will sleep with his length inside your warmth, as far as it goes, so he can stay as close as humanly possible with you. He doesn't mind the mess you both make.

It's proof of your love.

Sometimes he wants to take you outside. Go to dinner, walk alongside Han River, but then he realizes that you might remember what had happened that Night. You might loose all dependency on him, all love for him, all memories- and it makes him angry at himself, makes him pull his own hair in frustration necause he can never let that happen.

Everybody knows he's hanging on by a thread.

And if you ever step out of line, if you ever leave-

That fragile little chain keeping him grounded will snap, freeing the beast.

♥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

Will you ever be free? Do you want to be?

If freedom is away from Jungkook, will it ever be enjoyable?

You don't have to think about that. Not when his hands hold your wrists down into the mattress so hard they will surely bruise. Not when he almost growls like a predator at every thrust he pushes into you. Not whe he kisses you like he doesn't care about breathing.

Not when he's got you all chained up to his side, like a dog, loved and loyal.

You exist for him.

You're alive because he wants you to be.

You've survived because he loves you more than anyone else ever could.

You're his.

And don't you ever forget it.

♥━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♥

[turnin9pag3]

THIS IS NOT ABOUT HARRY POTTER

i feel i have this inexplicable sadness born in my veins. its been stuck there making a home inside me since birth and the people that are supposed to help have done nothing but make it worse. im alone. painfully so. im everyones second choice and i have lots of friends but a friend to all is a friend to none. those who claim they are my closest are the ones moving to hurt me most. it sucks because i still long for the girl who was my entire life for a year. my best friend and i miss her. she took the thing i wanted most in this world from me and told me i was crazy. my other friend tells me she was wrong and i deserve better but now that friend is doing the same thing to me and thinks that i don’t know. but i do know and i almost wish i didn’t because that would make this so much easier. im so tired. all the time im tired. and im sick. i keep waiting for a chance that never wants to come and im good but not good enough and im funny but not funny enough and im pretty but not pretty enough. im second always. i feel uncomfortable expressing this to the people i actually know so i opt for anonymous posting on a ghosted app full of people i’ve never met. i miss being young. not to say im old im still a child by all means but i miss 7th grade when i always had someone to talk to and i hung out with someone every weekend and school didn’t make me depressed and my friends weren’t toxic and i liked random boys in my class instead of obsessing over the same boy for 10 months. when i blew out the candles on my 15th birthday i wished for him. my best friend and the girl standing 2 feet away watching me is the reason i never got him. shes no longer my best friend but god i wish she was. i miss being at her house everyday. i miss walking to the park with her. i miss getting ice cream after school. i miss sleepovers on school nights. i miss i miss i miss. it feels like thats all i do nowadays. i just miss. i don’t have any constance and i feel like im not doing anything right. i want someone genuine who isn’t going to stab me in the back or leave me. i want someone who can be there a lot of the time and not shit talk me to others. i need friends who wont keep secrets. i need friends who want to be around me. i need people who wont laugh at me when i speak. i need people who wont judge my every move. its hard to be confident when everyone is shoving your insecurities down your throat every 5 seconds. i don’t know what to do with myself anymore. i feel remorse for the way i act but i don’t know how to fix it. i just for once want someone to love me the way i love them. i want someone to want me the way i want them. i need someone to like me like i like them. i cant go on being next best every time. the school year is ending and i feel like im going to be forgotten. these people who claim to be my friends barley spare me a glance outside of classes and i don’t want to have to talk first. i don’t know why people keep me around if they so obviously hate me. why do you try and get me to like him if you’re going to try and get with him anyways? why do you ask me to sit by you if you’re going to get mad at me when i speak anyways? why do you text me things if you’re not going to tell me what its about anyways? why do you want to be included in conversations that don’t concern you if you’re going to be rude anyways? why do you entitle yourself to my conversations and friends but when i do the same thing its a problem? and why do i stick around if im treated like shit by you all the time.

[sweettoothvn]

Sweet Tooth Character Questions (Part 2)

Welcome to part 2! We have a lot of these questions from the Sweet Tooth server, feel free to join us here!

Questions under the cut (doing this to not clog main blog!! ^^)

"How would they react to their partner getting jealous?"

Andre is worried why his partner seems so upset. He abandons whatever conversation he was in the middle of- (i would like to point out this man is so horribly dense he does not understand he's being flirted with. You have to spell it out for him.) anyways he sits his partner down and tries to have them talk to him about what the problem was. If you try to tell him to go back to having fun, he refuses and spends the rest of the day with you. You take care of him so he takes care of you, thats what you're supposed to do and he loves you no matter what.

Casey isnt as dense as he plays. He pretends that the person who is talking to him isnt flirting. Desperately, he's been trying to pull away from the conversation- and then you come around- sure you're jealous and probably upset either at him or the stranger- but he's never been so thankful for you to yank him away. He reassures you and tells you how thankful he is. Massive cuddles and candy binges will soon ensue.

Chrys is the type to typically flirt back with whoever is flirting with her. She doesnt mean it. She's planning on building up their ego then watching it all fall down when they realize (even after she told them she was taken by you and that she was VERY serious about it-) that no they cant have her and they never will. She will try her best to explain this to you, realizing that yeah from a distance it did look like she was intent on cheating on you. She'll try her best to make it up to you, cooking for you, cuddling you, complimenting you. Anything you need. She's right there.

David typically is bored of talking to people. The minute someone starts flirting with him when he's already in a well established relationship that he has made sure everyone knows about- well he shuts the other person out, rudely interrupting and asking if they're 'done yet'. If they try anything, David will use his words to beat them to the ground until they realize he sees them as nothing. You might try to pull him away jealously- only then will he realize what effect this has had on you. He rarely shows his soft side, he doesnt like being vulnerable around people. But you're always an exception and you've taught him that his feelings are valid. He will do anything he can to make you feel loved. Read to you, cuddle you, allow you to play with his bunnies. He might run his hands through your hair and sing a Russian lullaby his recent brother would sing to him.

Eddie tends to cringe when people flirt with him nowadays. He used to welcome it when he was floating around, trying to find someone who might understand him. And now that he has you, he could wish for nothing more. He makes it VERY clear he's not interested- he's even gone as far as smacking someone if they tried to touch him. When you approach him, he gets confused why you're jealous at first. He didnt do anything wrong did he? He made sure he wasnt interested, he was positive! Oh well, despite his lack of interest in affection, you'll find yourself swaddled next to him in a pillow fort, binge watching weird series as he may or may not talk over them-

Kieran is pretty well known for fucking around. Quite literally. It's apart of his reputation. And now that he's in a serious relationship he regrets it horribly. It was fun when it lasted, but the reputation he garnered from it... he doesnt enjoy the attention as much as he used to. You taught him how consent works and how to say no to people. He never noticed how handsy people tended to be with him. He tries to be polite, something rare for him, telling them he isnt interested. If it escalates it will increase to yelling and go so far as to harming the person if they go any further. He doesnt want a repeat. Never again. He sees you're upset and goes to comfort you, hoping maybe you can comfort him as well. You'll lay in his bed as he tells you how much he loves you. Simply just holding you and talking to you alleviates that intense anxiety from before. He's never felt so safe.

Noble waves the person off. The first few words of a pickup line and even the slightest lustful look- he's walking away. They're not worth his time. He made sure to stay by you no matter what. Metaphorically and physically. Call him clingy but he needs you. And you need him. The person might persist, to which he sighs and finally gives them his 'attention'. He'll pretend to be interested, getting closer and closer to them, whispering something that seems so sweet- only for him to tell them how stupid they are to believe such things. Similar to Chrys- building them up then tearing them down. He leans away, looking disgusted. He might flicks their nose and push on their chest before going to find you- only just now realizing you saw the whole thing. He tries to tell you what happened but you saw it all and the mind can jump to conclusions so easily. He begs and begs for your forgiveness, he wants to make it up to you, he has to. You trusted him and he failed. Prepared to get pampered for the entire day... or week.

Zach may look naïve, however he is anything but that. He refuses the drink they buy him. He pulls away from their touches, laughing awkwardly. God where are you...? His anxiety is a lump in her throat and he's never missed you so horribly. They keep talking- why are they still talking? Slowly he tries to walk away, being to scared to turn them down. What if they get mean if he says no? He doesn't want to cause a scene, he really doesn't. If he causes a scene what might you think of him? Oh there you are. He sighs, so relieved and rushes over to you. Before you can even utter a word to ask him why on earth he was 'talking' to such a creep, he tells you that you're going home and that he doesn't want to stay there a moment longer. In the car ride home he tells you about his discomfort- and you both start making fun of the creep from the bar. Its a personal conversation shared between the two of you. Sure its bad to talk about people behind their back but... eugh... that guy was so... shady. He gets all cheesy with the pickup lines when you're finally home, asking if he can 'buy you a drink' while being an absolute dork. He makes you laugh until you cant breathe and then he compliments you until your face is too hot.

"The Sweet Tooth cast just found out they're in love with someone. How do they react?"

Andre sort of sits there for a moment, it all makes sense now. How he felt so weird and giddy whenever you were around, how his day seemed to bright up no matter what whenever you were there. Even if you felt sad and needed comfort it always made him happy knowing you looked at him for comfort. He knows that he wants to be with you but he isn't sure if you like him the same. He does what he's always done his whole life- which is ask his mom for advice. Of course, raising her son on nothing but RomComs his whole life, she helps him plan a very very romantic way for him to ask you out.

Casey probably had it pointed out to him when Kieran was teasing him. Kieran spouted it out and the room got silent. Casey sitting there with an entirely flushed face wouldnt know what to say- until loudly going "OOOOOOOH" and then preceding to go on an hour ramble about why he likes you so much.

Chrys probably had some inkling but she figured it was just a.. friend crush.. that's... that's a thing right? When she realizes that how much she thinks about you is not normal for friends, she gets very quiet around you for a bit. She's slightly shy and very out of character, until she cant take it anymore, she blurts the question out as you're about to leave your shift.

David paces back and forth talking at a fast pace and thinking about the pro's and cons of his feelings for you and weighing out if dating you is reasonable or not. Eddie interrupts him, complaining that he should just ask you out because David is annoying like this.

Eddie probably had a dream about you- first he played it off- but then they wouldnt stop... He probably tries to avoid you, denying his feelings for you at first- but then he finds he cant stand being AWAY from you- so then he gets very clingy. He despises how clingy he feels so he goes into this cycle of detaching then attaching himself to you- until you bring it up, he might not stop.

Kieran is shocked that he has a crush- Last time he had a crush on someone it went horribly wrong. But you're not horrible like him... no you're much different. Right? You wouldnt hurt him like August has... right? You were so kind and you put up with all his bullshit and stayed regardless of that... who does that? He becomes more awkward- flinching at your touch and getting flustered more easily. He's acting like his high school self and he's never been more embarrassed.

Noble oh he knew that he liked you... he knew the moment he saw you. When you opened your mouth. The way you talked, the way you moved and carried yourself, even how you breathed... it drove him crazy. He probably figured that this fixation over you would be a temporary thing, as he tended to fixate on people during his break up periods with Rainn. However he felt this strong connection to you... like it was destiny... he didnt Rainn anymore...

Oh so that's why Zach's sketchbooks are always full of you...! He thought he just liked how you looked... how you were so fun to draw and every little detail was so fascinating to him. Every freckle, every mole, loose hair, the ways your face crinkled in certain areas when you smiled. You always had the best poses in his opinion. You were naturally his muse. But he stops drawing you for a while. His last relationship didn't end off so well- sure they were still friends but- he didn't want to mess this up with you. He couldn't.

"How does the sweet tooth go about first kisses with someone they love?"

Andre during the entire date is working himself up to it, trying to find the perfect opportunity to finally get that kiss in. He doesn't force himself on you, instead he'll make sure to ask you, wondering if you're okay with how he holds you and if you're comfortable. It's a very gentle kiss, if you're left wanting more he won't hesitate to give it to you, but he's always so anxious that he might accidentally hurt you.

Casey has been muttering a lot to himself like he's been giving himself a pep talk whenever he thinks you're not looking- When you're finally alone with him- he does this weird sharp inhale like he's about to confess a crime. He looks serious, a rare expression for him so it's obvious that you get concerned but- then he blurts it out, "Can I kiss you?" albeit he speaks to fast or maybe his voice cracks- regardless its adorable and after he asks he gets super flustered. His kiss is inexperienced but hey at least his ChapStick tastes nice. Very fruity flavors- or his favorite go to is the cocoa cola ChapStick.

Chrys has been so excited the entire date, making sure you're comfortable while dragging you around to look at all the wonderful things and get the best experience you can. You're both really tired by the end of it and she finds a nice quiet spot for the two of you. She gets close, leaning on you while holding your hand and says, "Y'know... this would be a good place for a first kiss..." Before looking at you with expectant eyes and a small smile. Her lips are soft and plush, her lipstick tints your own lips but you don't notice as she cups your cheek.

David for once doesnt have that pissed off look to him. Instead he has wide curious eyes and actually seems... happy. He seems relaxed and like he can actually breathe when he's with you. His tone is much more polite and gentle with you, not that strict and powerful one that was... overcompensating. He was always bothered by people touching him when he never viewed them as an equal, which is probably everyone at this point. However, he holds your hand and holds tight, allowing you to take him where you please until you're finally alone and able to talk to each other. Except he's quiet, just studying you face while nervously fidgeting with his sweater sleeve. In a near whisper he ask, "...Would it be alright if I kissed you...?" of course you ask him to speak up- to which he shakes his head and looks away, clearly upset you didn't hear him. (Even though it wasn't your fault-??) Regardless, it's up to you to kiss him first. He's tense at the start, but he melts into your touch and holds you as close as he can.

Eddie most likely took you to the best place he knows. The forest. He knows it like the back of his hand so why wouldn't he bring you there. Obvious choice, any another choice would be stupid. Unless you made it, then it's perfect. He seemed to be in his own little world the entire time, quietly muttering to you and forgetting that personal space was a thing- but you don't mind as he points out the local moss and fungus, telling you all the interesting things he knows about each and every species. You arrive at a river and for once he's quiet, the quietest he's been the entire time. Suddenly, he asks you to face him and close your eyes. Hesitantly, you do so, feeling something soft placed on your head before his lips press against yours. They're a bit chapped but he's not too bad of a kisser so it balances it out. What he placed on your head was a flower crown he'd somehow managed to make when you weren't looking- which you SWORE you had your eyes on him the whole time. Sneaky bastard.

It's only natural to expect Kieran to bring you to a loud event with bright colors and strobe lights, but he doesn't. Nope, he planned a simple date. Nothing big and loud for you two to party the night away, get drunk, and end up in an alleyway aggressively making out with each other. Okay maybe the date he had planned wasn't terribly simple because of the location. He came to your house, picked you up and took you across the city he grew up in. He shows you his favorite places and you eat at his childhood restaurant. The date ends where you're on the rooftop on some building you shouldn't even be on, eating your favorite dessert while watching the people below walk across the street and sidewalks, minding their own business. He takes his arm and lays it over your shoulders, bringing you into a side embrace before kissing your forehead. You look up at him, a bit confused (but flattered) by the gesture, to which he replies, "What? Want a better one?" His lips are soft and taste a bit smokey (hope you don't mind), and of course sweet considering what you two had been eating. He's definitely a good kisser considering how much experience he has. Be careful not to swoon so hard you fall off the building-

Noble's idea of a date was something you were curious about, he seemed a bit unpredictable. He was super romantic but also very chaotic at the same time. So of course you would either think, well maybe its a dinner on a terrace in France, but then there was the possibility of him taking you to a nightclub to dance to your hearts content. Of course it was easy to think that the latter was more so what he would do, considering his daily activities and the general area he tended to hang out in. But the reality was that it was a simple picnic that had an amazing view of Paris. The food was incredible, all home cooked and traditional recipes passed from his family. He allows you to do most of the talking, more interested in listening to you. He was never one to talk- unless of course it was to ramble about you. That was always easy. Other than that, sometimes talking was hard for him when the topic was him. As you speak, you don't notice him inching closer and closer- until he interrupts you with a kiss. It's gentle and long enough for you to memorize his lips against yours- at least it was long enough for him to do that- but not too long to where it was uncomfortable. When he pulls away he smiles and gives you the excuse, "Sorry, you had something on your lips."

Zach hasnt been on a date in a while, and usually he was never the one to plan them. So he was a bit nervous on where to bring you- but then he settled with an art installation. The art installation had some weird stuff going on, sure, but it was really fun regardless. When you're finished, he takes you to an observatory to relax. As you're laid back in the seats, he points out the different stars, whispering in your ear while leaned close. Your shoulders are touching and he's holding your hand. Finally he points to the Pisces constellation and explains the story to you, about how two lovers jumped into a river together after turning into fish so they could escape a monster. Then after a moment of silence, he asks, "Do you believe in soulmates? I know it's cheesy but that doesn't make it bad... sometimes cheesy is good..." He sighs and looks at you "Want to see if you're mine...?" His lips are inviting and despite his awkward behavior, he seems to know what he's doing. He takes the lead with it, trying to bring you as close as he can but not trying to seem desperate at the same time.

[aromanticgarbage]

h3h3 said that joji ghosted him after he got famous, ian says they don't talk anymore too. I wonder if max was the only one he was really close with or maybe they just recently reconnected.

Ok that's a tricky topic of conversation. Read more because as always i cannot shut up.

H3h3 and iddubz don't really mean anything to me outside of their old filthy frank collabs. I actually actively dislike them. Yeah you read that right. Thats why ive tried to make the fact that i am NOT running a cancer crew blog here clear. I just hate iddubz's old solo content. Seeing him beat himself up online nowadays isn't great either but by god his old stuff is so so bad (to me). Internet drama and borderline hate speech is a recipe for disaster and if he was smarter he would have seen this coming. I understand that some people like his older stuff out of nostalgia but i am not affected by this. I was not into YouTube back then. Im still not into YouTube. I only know of him and h3h3 because im obsessed with their old homie. My perspective is different, these people barely mean anything to me.

Ok now, disclaimers aside. Ethan said that joji told him not to call him filthy frank when he was talking about his music and he personally interpreted that as him being embarrassed of his past. Personally its just clear to me that what joji was asking for when he was taking his first steps as a full time music artist was space. Being known as an ex youtuber can kill someones career and considering the sort of content he was making as ff it just doesn't seem weird to me that he wanted to separate the two lol. He gave countless interviews where he mentioned his old content and that he understood why people found it so hard to move on from such an iconic character but that he didn't like conflating the two. And even then, a few years later he was encouraging fans at his concerts to chant filthy frank so i cant help but feel like Ethan's assumption that he is embarrassed and trying to forget it ever happened is baseless and biased. And after that....well. Its pretty clear to me that h3h3 used to be enjoyed by people but its had a pretty obvious dowfall since then. Idc about Ethan's drama (or the man himself for that matter) but to be completely honest i wouldn't keep in contact with him either. Idk if you are one of those people who still enjoy his podcast but to me and to many others it just seems bad. Real bad. A lot of drama and too little substance.

Now Ian...Ian is definitely less clear to me as an outside observer. I may not like ~the old iddubz~ but joji obviously didn't have a problem with him. They always seemed to get along pretty well on all the behind the scenes and going through the cake trilogy together probably means that they developed something similar to a warriors bond. He was fun on their collabs. But alas, sometimes people who used to be close just stop keeping in touch. A lot of Joji's old college friends (pookie/david, the shaman/lewys, wheelz/tyrell) are no longer in contact with him and yet they all speak of him very highly. People online like to act like he somehow ""betrays his roots"" by not keeping up with people he collaborated with on youtube back in the day but youtube isn't his roots lmao. His high school and middle school japan friends have always clearly been very important to him and he never fell out off touch with them. He is often touring alongside Rei Brown and he has mentioned in interviews that he relies on these friendships on his day to day life (admittedly the interview im talking about was from 2018 but there's no reason to assume that he has suddenly stopped talking to people that he has been friends with since he was like 12 years old). At the end of the day he doesn't owe people online to keep in contact with anyone. People grow up and change and not all relationships survive the test of time. And thats okay. Stuff happens, people move on. For what its worth tho, i feel like iddubz's drama driven channel (because lets be fair the content cops were his biggest thing and they were youtube drama no matter how self righteous or fair they seemed at the time) didn't help. The thing about joji is that he had always avoided internet drama like it was the plague, which is once again one of those things that i appreciate deeply about him. I hate internet drama. But even my kinda biased opinion aside, the reality of the situation is probably very simple. They are both grown adults who live very different lives. They hanged out together during a few summers a lot of years ago. They followed different paths in life. It happens. Joji has been very offline for years now and i get the impression that he tends to isolate himself when his health acts up so its probably not that hard to fall out of touch with him.

And last but not least....Max. I won't lie, out of the cancer crew the only other person i actually like besides my man Joji is Max. Maybe he really was closer with Max, i certainly find him more likable. Around 2018 both Joji on twitter and Max on that one cold ones podcast episode said that they still keep in touch. Max was replying to a lot of Joji's tweets up untill the nectar era but once again, at the end of the day they live in different countries. I obviously have no way of knowing if they were still as close as they used to in the following years. Maybe they grew more distant for a while, maybe they reconnected around 2023 when joji took chad and max backstage at his concert, and then of course the wedding !! Its all very sweet, the gimme love Max and Chad video from the concert lowkey made me tear up.

But once again, at the end of the day they are all living their own lives, doing their own thing. And people who act like they owe it to them to be each others everything forever and ever because they met online a decade ago and collaborated on some extremely iconic videos make me laugh.

[also-fours]

spider-man 2 discourse has been full of three types of problems

1. actually valid criticisms of the story (symbiote invasion being rushed, them backtracking on previous events and making harry possessed at the last second, etc)

2. "wow, this really fucking sucks (has not been paying attention to the story, proceeds to make up problems that aren't there)"

3. "this isnt exactly what i wanted/is accurate to the comics therefore it is baaaaaaad"

note that the person making these claims has actually read peter parker spider-man comics that came out before 2007

and has read miles comics too

with this game it just kinda feels like people have just been. looking for things to be mad at

i feel with all the accusations that miles's main story in his own game got, those were all filled with genuine critiques and i completely get why people said those things and i agree with most of 'em

but with spider-man 2's main story i feel most people (again, MOST PEOPLE, if you do not make these claims i am NOT talking about you) are either needlessly suckin the game off or looking for things to complain about even if those things aren't there

...at least it's this way on twitter and youtube, y'all on tumblr are normal and cool about this game from what i can tell

also btw have y'all ever noticed that spider-man fans physically cant talk about something they like WITHOUT using it to bash something that another person made in the head? "yeah miles was super cool like this :))) UNLIKE THAT GARBAGE THING I DONT LIKE WOW THATS SO STUPID >:(((((("

i hate this fandom

spider-man fans NOWADAYS are what sonic fans USED to be, i swear to god (or maybe they're still like that, i dunno. they're less angry, i think. less loud.)

except it's even worse because spider-man fans tend to be a bunch of film and writing buffs so they always gotta act like they're right about everything, they can't just think a certain way, no they GOTTA be right

ugh.

btw, i read VENOM comics too, i miss eddie brock, i didnt want harry to be venom, and i hope they introduce him next time around but fuck, y'all got WAY too mad at harry as venom, he wasnt THAT bad.

[arttrampbelle]

Now that we see of liu kang ending and all of the garbage trainwreck of the new mk game

I bet y'all thinking

"Hmmm. Maybe shang tsung's ending in mk11 wasn't actually that bad and maybe he was *gasp* actually right all along about some things?!"

I mean this isn't just me as a shang tsimp.

This is sadly kinda true. I'd rather take my chances with big shangus. Then a pompus(and pooly and backhanded written) fire god liu kang. (Which in itself is sad. Because he never wanted that. Forcing him into a role making him miserable. Completely bastardizing his character. All for what?! Not my liu kang nrs. Not my liu kang.)

Anyways. Back to shang.

Liu kang vs shang is a klassic rivalry. But its as only as good as you actually write them on equal footing. But the have never truly done that. Liu kang has always had plot armor saving him and shang tsung has the unfortunate boxing in of "bad guy i beat up. Twirly mustache" which is horrible because that's not what he actually is. (Worse more when tagawa-sama never wanted that character he played,nor any villain he plays to be that way. Its always some nuance to his characters he portrays. And he said in an interview. He grew up with wimpy asian bad guys. He never wanted to ever see that again. So if he IS gonna be a buy guy. He is gonna be THE BAD GUY. Plus he hated seeing so many stereotypes but he had to trudge thru to be able to help make a better representation and positive impact. Tho nowadays he plays sweethearts,like himself mostly. Great actor,AMAZING man. Really cool. But for them to continue to make shang a "wimp" or to be "beat up by the "good" guys" is awful and a backhanded slap to the character as a whole even outside of the amazing cary hiroyuki tagawas portrayal.)

Again liu kang should be able to barely BARELY win against shang. Even if granted god powers. Shang is a stronk ass mofo. Bad,mean,nasty,in a fight. He wasn't champion formerly for nothing. He wasn't mk tournament master for nothing. He wasn't granted a seat under shao kahns heelboot for nothing. Granted that wasn't much of a choice but survival. But thats for another post. Like shang tsung is a BEAST! Not a heavy hitter. Not a beast in a way thats a tank. But a cunning,ruthless,and calculator. An opportunist fighter. He's cold in a fight. Like gives you chills. The serpentine gaze ready to strike. You gotta be quick...or you'll die. You gonna be careful and level headed otherwise he'll take full advantage of that opening and your soul? Is definitely his.

Look shang dont fucking play. (There is nuance and context depending on the situation but for the most part depends on who he's fighting and what the story is doing but overall he is not to be underestimated at all!)

Shang tsung Wasn't an og big bad for nothing!!!!!

Shao kahn was only a bigger bad and problems later. Then it became.

Better the devil you know then someone worse. Then we start to see.

Well fuck shang tsung actually is the only thing preventing shit from getting worse!

So yeah....you kill him....

Quan chi gets more power. Shao kahn gets free range. Onaga....welp. you're screwed. Dont even get started on shinnok! Oof. All the other bads?! Yeah they are gonna get WORSE AND MORE TOUGH AND BE MORE OF A PROBLEM. and honestly it would make things harder for everyone.

Yeah so think about it.

Take shang out ,you fuck up a whole ecosystem.

He only feeds on souls and of what he needs. Dont prevoke the man he wont steal your soul and go on a killing spree sucking souls for spite.

For the most part shang is best left tf alone. So as long as he has plenty in his soul well. He'll be fine. But the man is paranoid,traumatized due to shao kahn,many other things perhaps from his past. Oof cue my backstory for the death of his mother and his attachment issues and fear of decay,meaningless deaths,etc

But for the most part if you are respectful to shang. He'll be respectful back. Be genuine,be honest,and it will get you far. Dont be easy gotten either. Make it a challenge. Again this man likes a reasonable chase. Likes intelligence(not necessarily book smarts but people smarts,emotional intelligence) he values these things.

I could go on about this characters brain soup. I could add n talk about so much character analysis for shang. Unf 💖

But I'll leave it simple

Nrs fucked up a perfectly good rivalry. A potentially amazing story arch. And two amazing characters.

In short....i bet that shang tsung ending sounds really good about now right?

[modpoppy]

favs from all my fandoms (new and old)

some of my favs from each fandom ive been in like ever

genshin impact: my fav of all time kaeya alberich i love him Very Much So, hes just one of those characters who its like. UGH. where he just wants to be sweet but cant let himself get too comfortable where he is (literally in his case). i also relate to him irt my relationship with my family/sibling. hes just constantly aware of other people both to be cautious and to know the people he cares about more, hes been shown canonically to pay close attention and provide gifts that he knew people wanted

runner up is ZHONGLI i related to him very much but i fogrgt why rn lol

kingdom hearts: xion, not for very long but right around when i was finally actualizing my gender identity (id previously been very agender/masc) i rlly took to xion for like. Gender Inspo. i felt like even tho she got the short end of the stick she did her damndest to forge her own identity (roxas got his whole game and arc about it while xion bascially got fridged but its fine). when i finally let myself consider who i would be as a fem person, i pictured her :D

one piece: sanji!! i already sorta liked him (okay maybe not in fishman island or thriller bark. that was. shit.) before heading into whole cake but. lord almighty. lemme tell ya i dont cry very easily over anime but whole cake took me OUT. sanji just tries so hard to be someone who doesnt cause the problems, hes cringe fail but he tries so hard to just be ALLOWED to exist bc hes fought so hard to believe he SHOULD uugggghhhhhhhhhhh. irt the straw hats i think he has some of the most unique and fleshed out philosophies (not wasting food) that his backstory perfectly contextualizes. also im on board with trans fem sanji

runner up is YAMATO he is so beautiful AND hes a kinnie whats not to love im just mad hes not in the straw hats (yet)

total drama: svetlana this was legit the only gif i could find of her on here. i dont need to explain myself svetlana sweep 🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️🤸‍♀️

jjba: doppio/diavolo its FINE it COUNTS but technically 90% just doppio..... back in 2021(?) i dyed my hair like diavolo (pink with green spots) i feel like thats. all i need to say

ace attorney: to the surprise of absolutely no one THE PHANTOM ive just always attached to the whole. Not Being thing. in the past i struggled rlly hard with depersonalization/derealization/dissociation/basically every manifestation of the phantom, so id connect to them (which i dont think helped lol). nowadays, i focus rlly hard on the idea of the phantoms semi-redemption bc its like... being a person not being a required prerequisite to existing/being in society if that makes sense???? its complicated and probably only makes sense to me :P

runner up is obviously UENDO+ i love them all tell no one but i think kisegawa is my fav i wish she got more lines i actually only watched soj for them bc at the time everyone said the game was literal ass

(dw athena is in close third place shes literally my daughter)

rvb: if you asked me while i was a fan id probably say agent maine but in retrospect grif was clearly my fav, especially later in the show when he was one of the few leads who had a genuine character arc. he feels the most like a real person idk man

silent hill: every fucking gif of henry is him busting his ass thats all that needs be said

danganronpa: i changed favs very often bc i had zero idea what constituted well written characters lmao i have ~eclectic tastes~ but the main character i rlly liked was touko/syo, her arc in despair sisters afairc was decently well done and her relationship with komaru was sweet, even if dr is kinda an inescapable grease fire. in hindsight, i think i also related more to her than i realized bc of her self esteem and the way her trauma/phobias seemingly blocked her from basic self care/socialization but it was really more about her never having the courage to push her own boundaries (idk how well thats shown in the game but that was my experience)

runner up: korekiyo bc i liked him a lot for longer than most othr characters but afairc my perception of him was VERY heavily based on headcanons/fanon so i doubt id like him at all on a replay. best guess is id only maybe like shuichi or something. pretty much everyone in dr is an asshole tbh i cannot emphasize enough how ass my taste used to be my ability to pick characters i like boiled down to someone telling me a character was cool and i immedaitely absorbed them

pjo: okay so this bitch is in a book so ofc theres no gif for him but jason grace is the funniest motherfucker on the earth. half the time id say something out loud while reading and hed immediately say that exact thing. absolutely exquisite. bro had no idea what the fuck anyone was saying half the time

twst: i started playing for ruggie but immediately deuce also proved to be the funniest motherfucker ever i dont think ive ever seen his gimmick in anything else its so fucking funny i live for characters who seem like the straight man but then turn out to be equally as batshit as their peers (i stopped playing bc i had been misinformed and thought this was a college but these are HIGH SCHOOLERS why am i being isekaid into HIGH SCHOOL WTF)

now for some misc favs bc theres not really a fandom for them per se

i love him and he is me

oh my god and i found a gif of my favorite scene i love steven i also want to . attack him sometimes

[aubreysheadspace]

Hi again!! Would you be comfortable writing a sunny x reader who has anorexia and is just going through a tough time w it? I totally get if this makes you uncomfortable or anything thats completly fine, dont feel pressured to do it or anything! Ive just been struggling with it recently and could do w some comfort lol. Anyways, thanks if you can and it’s absolutely fine if you cant, i understand!! Have a great day/night!

-🪐

CONTENT WARNING: EATING DISORDER, OBSESSING OVER LOSING WEIGHT(ANOREXIA)

SUNNY WITH A READER DEALING WITH ANOREXIA

i am terribly sorry that you’re going through such a thing right now. as someone who has a fear of gaining weight and skipping meals (unintentionally, i swear), i can at least relate a tiny bit. just remember that even though you don’t feel comfortable in your body right now, just know you are never alone and there there out thousands of people who feel the same. maybe even one day, you will find comfort in your own body. i hope that this at least helps find you some comfort somehow, and i hope you enjoy. <3

SUNNY

SUNNY probably had a few issues about his body just as he did with his self worth, but it was more about how skinny he looked. he thought he looked too skinny

nowadays, he’s trying to learn to love himself more than usual. he doesn’t really mind his body now, and would rather focus on his mindspace

but, he grows heavily concerned when you start skipping meals, refuse to go out and eat or simply even saying "i’m not hungry!" when he can’t even remember the last time he saw you eat

maybe he’s overthinking about this and you are fine. he trusts you completely so at first he wouldn’t say anything about it, but he does want to keep an eye on you.

if this keeps happening, he’ll have to talk to you about it. he can’t stand to see you hurting your body like this.

he won’t appreciate the fact that you’re acting like nothings fine at first, don’t you trust him? he heard from HERO that a good relationship will need to have good communication,

he understands that you don’t want to worry anyone and that you’d feel bad talking to them about it, he’s there as well. he gets you, and he wants to make sure to be a good boyfriend, even if he’s not really good at talking or expressing himself facially

after he finally gets through you, he’s willing to let you dump all of your problems with your body to him. he tries to offer reassurance, but he sucks at that. he’s just really good at listening quietly though

he tells you that he likes you regardless of your body, and that you might end up being frail and weak if this keeps happening. he also might just share a few experiences about his malnutrition and constant starvation from staying in his room for four years, and admitting that it really messed him up even more

with advice from HERO, SUNNY will try his best to help you with ways that he can. he’s not good at making food, so if he finds any leftover food you have in your fridge, it’s microwave time! …as long as it isn’t expired of course.

[psychelis-new]

do you think things would be more enjoyable if we didnt have the internet in todays world? every time I try to interact either someone shits on me for something that wasnt even wrong in the first place or in general theres just some very overreactive people on these platforms. personally i think older generations had it mildly better bc people werent trying to make themselves known online and instead they put real effort into things instead its like everh other person is a wannabe internet star and instead of people having real characters or personalities online theyre either a brand name or some type of idfk channel name

its like folk expect every response to be received well all the time or to be agreed on for everything they ever say online and if we dont then again we get shitted on for it which also makes it much less fun to partake in these varying subjects on multiple platforms that are supposed to be harmless fun for everyone to join in on discussing

the problem is social media is shoved everywhere and we cant not use these devices or platforms and if you dare ask questions on both tumblr and reddit its like its a shame if its the wrong sort of question to ask so i have to find another blog thats more suited for such questions or people rudely tell you to google it and so on without making extra effort to explain sometning if you dont exactly know what it is. even on reddit ppl have harassed me into deletion even if all i was doing was venting about shit and so i gave up on that site tried tumblr again but its not much different it seems and i tnink even tarot readers sometimes take it too literally or seriously as well thus making it less fun for others to take part

kids nowadays alsl wont ever know how much freedom we had compared to them as kids when we were completelt away from the internet and phones were barely big enough to text on so you couldnt even write a paragraph to people but kids nowadays they practically grow up online thus theyre more likely to find offence when there isnt one to find compared to older generations

yet we need these devices for communication but i feel like society cant really communicate well anymore or its so one sided bc its not face to face communication or usually its someone else trying to need something from others for their own selfish reasons. idfk social media feels more lkke being back in school but worse bc its anonymous practically and theres no conseuquences anymore u basically often have to admit defeat as well bc so many ppl act like they in the right when they can also be wrong or if something really isnt that deep, i also find the things i used to enjoy even music or basic hobbies is becoming either not my style anymore bc of social media or in general people making dramas about shit i dont care about makes music less fun and more toxic

ik u arent a kpop blog but i think something like kpop mightve suited older times better where the idols didnt have to receive so much backlash for every small and minor things but even music groups feel so formatted and less room for error lets put it that way or soon as one group does something mildly wrong people witch hunt that group or idol to no end. its like every other hobby or interest i have seems to always have a toxic one opinion fits all or one reaction for everyone type mentality and its really restricting and unhealthy imho. it always seems tl be about generating bs so people react to bs and from then on its like an endless chain of toxic dump until the next load of bs comes along

i unfollow more blogs than i can count bc of the misinterpretation of words and so on or in general if i find tnem to be too dramatic about things that really arent an issue but they made it an issue like the obsession people or kpop fans have with idols fs and so on. the internet is a toxic waste site at this point but theres no escaping it bc of how much we all need and use the internet as though its replaced our own ability to think freely. then the fast overconsumption of digital media in general is so unhealthy but we cant switch off from it bc of how normalised it is to need these sites and to need so much brief entertainment that does more harm than good to our dwindling attention spans and sites feeling more like echo chambers than safe places to find like minded people

sorry for my long rant but imho its getting ridiculous

Okay so woah. Where to start from?

Honestly I don't understand exactly what you want from me tbh, but I guess I will just try to give you another pov on your long rant and what you are observing/feeling? Not sure why you're here but yeah, let's see. :)

It's a very wide and complex situation the one we're living these days. The prev generation (not sure which one is yours but there are many different ones here -gonna consider 80s+ kids or so) grew up halfway between internet and running in fields, and having to confront others irl mostly. Not sure if this made them better though, just different (as times were different too). I don't think we can compare, and that's cause this younger generation had to grow up in a society where appearance and wealth is very important. Where you are judged and compared easily since you're born (or that's the main vibe at least) and everything moves fast: 1) social medias as you said, made us be reachable 24/7 and able to be in contact with everyone in the world, an occasion (or a "condemn", as you prefer) past gen didn't have [+ socials are the best and fastest platform (once there was only TV) where everyone -despite the market being now full and this making it hard to stand out from the crowd- can be seen and "get famous" (let's not dig the fastest ways you can, let's leave it as it is. As I'm not going to navigate too far how the increasing adhd has obliged people to rely on fast and short videos -eg. reels- to keep the attention span of those getting bored after a few seconds, probably out of an habit of being online)]; 2) online commerce: it really make us receive anything we want in a matter of minutes (think about lunch but everything really). And why all this is working so well? Because it's meeting a need of us: it meets the urgency we have to see results, be seen, receive, know, getting feedback (hence the misinterpretation when reading comments, which leads to misunderstandings and useless fights -sometimes we are also in a negative mood for others reasons and it may make it easier to others' misunderstand words/intentions -online we only rely on our ability of reading and it depends on our mood too and since I am here, can I suggest you to add some commas/fullstops here and there to make it easier to understand your words? thankies), urgency to answer/get answers too (fast reply/receiving means positive while if it takes time, it may be something negative for us -despite it's not so!). And when we don't get this, when we don't feel seen or appreciated (see haters or every slightly comment that is not "ily<3" -I'm exaggerating ofc, but please understand) especially in a short amount of time, we make it mean we're unworthy. We're bad. We won't be able to fit in in this fast world and we're gonna be left out and won't be able to come back in as it runs too fast. And if you're out of this world, you're out forever and will be forgetten (but it's just an idea we have). I think this is a feeling you are experiencing too to a certain level, despite being from a different gen?

This generation had to grow up with the prev generation's trauma on their back: the fear of the future, of not having a stable job that grants you money, of not being seen, of not being heard, of not feeling enough or worthy. This feeling of unworthiness is doubled because thanks to the internet there are more chances to be seen in the world, and if we don't feel accepted in all we are, if we don't make it now, it hurts x2. Not to mention that every comment one makes has a resonance that can potentially destroy anyone, even the person making it ofc, if they are caught (let's not dig the reasons behind hate, anger/resentment against others -generally still the same old lack of self worth and not being validated and appreciated by friends/family-, idols and such that take up the role of someone we rely on for comfort or to dream; someone that needs to live up to certain expectations; that needs to be perfect and if they fail, it makes some people feel better about themselves -online we compare to others either to feel better about us, or we just get crashed by fake lives and pics made just for the social medias: we forget people can decide what to post and how-; someone that, being a public figure, everyone has the right to know everything out of their life, to the point of forgetting they are people too -but it works for those nosy people to forget about their sad life, and that's the point of it all ig. Focusing on others to forget about us).

Back to youngers, let's suppose some reasons behind their behaviour (just to try to understand the bg, nothing else): parents usually worked 24/7 and didn't had too much time/will to dedicate them; maybe they were emotionally unstable people too, bc of prev 2gen having come out from WWII and similar situations too. Probably, this gen had distant parents emotionally, busy with job, not always paying attention to them if not for a little, but they were provided in other ways, and it may have created in them the idea that everything they want to do or have is right and they deserve to have it at any cost. That their parents can solve any problem for them, probably out of codependency and guilt feelings -for not being there-. And this acted also on the fact that basic human respect of others is not always present -whether it's idols or any random person they come in touch with online or irl-. I also think the internet offered this kids a way out of a situation in their family that may have been tough since early years. And it basically did the same for their parents, finding a new free life there out of their responsibilities and fixed roles, out of their duties even of taking care of their kids. So yeah, maybe kids simply learned to rely and internet and social medias and find comfort, validation and appreciation in it since childhood. Something prev gen couldn't do ofc: we didn't have this coping mechanism's chance.

Youngers these days (but not just them tbh, I think it's from past generations too), in whatever way they can, seeks others' validation, appreciation and acceptance, comfort and support. Something they probably hardly had from parents (probably got judged mostly). They probably just feel lost, but are trying to make sense of it all the best they can (with what they learned). Yk, if we get "pushed away" by others when trying to reach for them, we make it mean we're not good enough, we cannot be accepted, we have to be abandoned and we won't ever fit in. The internet, despite making us "closer" to everyone in the world, is also helping us creating more relationships based on the surface: getting deeper, knowing the other takes time, and we're back to the urgency thing (not to mention that getting deeper is scary, so everyone tries to avoid it)... And ofc it also helps us in not feeling too respectful of others as I was saying. But you said getting rid of the internet would be a solution and that you cannot see a way out of that system. I guess probably you're focusing too much on others and the outside, and not on what makes you believe so? For example: the fact that you feel not appreciated or not welcomed when venting online or asking a question, makes me wonder if you don't just feel lonely? I'm saying this cause of the asks bit you wrote: sometimes we ask others also things we could find online just because unconsciously we want to connect with them. We want a "human" answer. And that's perfectly fine ofc, but maybe not everyone will be able to see this. And we cannot pretend this much... we cannot pretend that others can read our mind or will react to us in the way we want (not saying you were wrong and others right: I have no clue of what happened, I cannot say. But I can say at times we want to feel accepted and seen as good enough and to do so, we may try to correct others/save others, and yk... not everyone will like it. It's not a matter of generations tbh). Also, yes maybe we have lost the ability to communicate, as communication is not made to reply, but we need to first listen and understand the other (while recently we communicate to reply and be right -it's probably a need we have again, the need to feel right and not wrong, maybe we were made feel wrong for too long and we need to be right and in control of things to feel okay and safe?), but... whatever.

I think right now you're probably too hurt by not finding the right way to communicate with others and creating connections, of being seen the way you want, to maybe realize that you can get out of internet and social medias and find connections irl still. You can do anything you want of your life and since you keep suggesting everyone should think with their mind, do it! If you need to get out of here, don't let the internet drag you back in and make you think you cannot do without it... or find out why you need it still. Cause it feels like you want to get out of it but only if everyone gets out if too... am I wrong? TBH a break, at this point, is what I am suggesting you to take, to help you feel better and see things from a different perspective (it works for me to ground again). Or maybe find an offline hobby that will keep you interested. I promise you won't be left out of anything important. You'll find new memes and people to connect with when you'll be back (and maybe they won't be so feral or you will just stop giving their words importance: they're still strangers, people you don't really know or have to interact with, you can let them be angry and still find your own safe place online. It's big here, just find what works for you and be happy. Just remember everyone has their opinion and it feels like they always have to share it, no matter what... get over it or keep sharing yours as well). One last thing: I am honestly really intrigued by the part you wrote about tarot readers not knowing the people behind the screens. What do you mean? Ofc we cannot know the whole world in person, but when you find your reader, they will know your energy. But ofc, you need to believe in this, or it won't work. ;)

I hope you will find a way out of your loneliness and not be so resentful against people that probably are just not for you. I think the moment you'll find out again what you want and what you are searching for, and reconnect with who you are and not what others are saying of you (indirectly, with their reactions to you), all the positivity you have within, you'll attract the right people in, whether it's online or not.

Oh btw, I honestly think the internet is still an occasion we have to make things better in many different fields (let me mention medicine, for example). I think humans are able to make everything they create to be great or terrible. It's all up on the use we make of what we have. If we use the internet to hate others or try to scam others, it's awful ofc. But if we use it wisely, to share good stuff, it's a great chance.

All the best Take care!

[sidesteppostinghours]

4 + 5 + 8 + 40 + 34 and I) G) F) for Cyrus Becker my beloved 🧡

afternoon idle!! oh my god questions galore *cracks knuckles* cyrus get your ass over here youre up

4. How easy is it to earn their trust?

Very difficult, and at the same time easier than youd think. he definitely doesnt entertain everybody, but hes not unreasonable. hell hear you out if you give him enough reason to (or if he thinks its beneficial to get to know you. do you see why he gets attached to people hes supposed to be manipulating so often). ortega and mortum required him to establish a relationship, which is how they got so close to eachother so quickly. herald got by because cyrus thought hed be a useful contact in the rangers. chen couldve earned his trust a long time ago, they had to work with eachother a lot back when he still ran with the rangers, but chen squandered it on his suspicions and its been too long for cyrus to have any interest in patching up their relationship. argent has largely flown under his radar, she hasnt piqued his interest more than the passing curiosity of why she wanted the regenerator.

5. How easy is it to earn their mistrust?

the default is mistrust. sorry yall, hes not taking any more chances than necessary. hes a telepath, he knows all too well what secrets other people hide, and hes not interested in giving people a chance to prove his suspicions wrong. but after hes grown to trust somebody? its... embarrassing how difficult it is to lose it. even though his trust is much shakier nowadays, you still need to have fucked up Majorly to get him back to mistrusting you. if you somehow manage to do that,,, uhhhh. what do you want on your tombstone? (ig its technically its possible to not die and even earn that trust back??? ortega managed, but thats ortega and hes statistically more likely to kill you or ruin your life. depends on how badly you fucked up. id say theres a good 5% chance youll survive the experience without the need for intense psychotherapy)

8. What were they told to stop/start doing most often as a child

listen. follow orders. be exactly who we need you to be. cyrus was a deeply rebellious regene, but he wasnt stupid about it. hed go against the mission in secret, and just enough that nobody wouldve been able to trace any problems back to him. that doesnt mean he was never caught, but he was too competent of a regene to be scrapped, which saved him multiple times before. those few times did cause handlers to keep a closer eye on him though, just in case. handlers would usually keep a harder grip on cyrus, hold him to stricter standards. it contributed a lot to his own self talk. SPEAKING OF WHICH:

40. How sensitive are they to their own flaws?

you must imagine me holding him and looking lovingly into his eyes while i dump a gallon of insecurity and perfectionism on him. hes a proud man, he thinks hes better than what other people are capable of, but that arguably makes things worse when he does make a mistake. he of all people shouldnt be like this. add the puppetmaster scar on him and its a hefty load of 'i need to make sure every single step of my plan goes exactly right Or Else." the worst thing about him is that a lot of the petty flaws he thinks apply to him arent correct. AND HE CANT EVEN NAME HIS ACTUAL FLAWS. cyrus you are so smart and walking around with zero self awareness, its the best. please consider stepping into acid.

34. How hard is it for them to shake a sense of guilt? 

hohohohoho. well. the first step is to get him to feel guilty in the first place. traditionally immoral actions arent going to get to him, obviously. the thing that springs up guilt for him most often is themmys death. he has. a Lot of survivors guilt about that. especially because hes convinced himself he couldve done something and *gestures to the ask above*. guilt will haunt him for life if it doesnt get resolved in a healthy way, but hes gotten good at burying his emotions a long time ago. even when he feels like that, he reserves a specific time to think about it, otherwise itll impede on his plans in the long run. that designated time is. usually when hes supposed to be sleeping. his sleep schedule is just a little bit messed.

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

oh dude i Love putting cyrus in aus. its so fun to poke him with a stick and see what happens. the first one i put him in was a band au, it helped me figure out how he would interact with herald. basically cyrus was a masked guitarist (for backstory reasons) for a band daniel happened to be a fan of, except the two of them managed to meet at just regular old work, with cyrus not realizing daniel was a fan and daniel not realizing cyrus was from one of his favourite bands. it led to fun, mlb-esque shenanigans between the two lmfao. the second one i put him in was the becker siblings au, which i still have thoughts and emotionsTM about. that au let me indulge in the 'cyrus is an older sibling' headcanon and i will forever be in debt to it for the amount of protective cyrus i got. third and current au im obsessing over is a 'cyrus survives hb' scenario, where ortega managed to stop him before he jumped out the window. i am getting! so much ortega x cyrus content out of that au! and so much survivors guilt cyrus. cyrus 'using' ortega to forget about heartbreak my beloveddddd. he also says 'i love you' to ortega in this au and canon ortega is SO jealous. also x2, hes an alcohol vice step in this au. heartbreak hit hard and the tequila hits different.

aaaand i still like his canon version better. its just so very much him. out of every step ive got, hes the one i get to stay closest to how i envision based on the choices the game offers. plus he caught me completely by surprise suckerpunching me with an obsession over him and i cant Not respect that.

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

not sure whether this means on a character creation level or as a person, but ill answer for 'as a person' because im overall pretty satisfied with how he turned out! but like. god what is there to not be bothered about. my manipulative little shit of a son. ig the trait that frustrates me the most is his self destructive tendencies. like. Sir. are you at all aware of the fact that people care for you and want you safe? and that you can respond to that concern with something other than "i can use this", "sucks to be them", or, "no theyre not"? sir. sir answer the question. hes so empathetic and also literally a telepath but somehow cant compute genuine concern at him. as frustrating as it is though, i cannot deny that it is deeply funny to watch him fumble so badly.

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

normal. the ones where people look at me and think "wow, that is a person who is having (a) regular thought(s) about their character! very cool!" you will never see a person who is more normal about their guy than i am (i am grabbing him by the teeth and shaking him like a dog with a very strong kill instinct).

truly though, thinking of him gets me buzzing. hes like a puzzle, i keep breaking him apart and putting him back together again to see how everything works. i have this thing where ill often think about showing character analysis to the characters themeselves, just to see how they would react, and i undeniably do this the most with cyrus. i want to explain step by step (hah) why he is the way that he is now, like the whole timeline is plotted inside my head and its so!!!!! i am!!!!! chewing on him!!!!!

questions from here!

[dodger-sister]

Sufficiently freaked out enough I turned on the alarm & locked the doors & put a chair under the door handle. Yesterday we rescued a cat that we had seen around the neighborhood the last week or so. She was on our porch staring in at Sis, so Sis went out & the cat jumped in her arms & started loving on Sis.

So we started our rescue routine: put her in basement guest room separate from our animals, posted on my FB & 2 local missing pet groups, called the shelter (waiting for call back) & intended to take her in to get scanned for a chip, if needed by tomorrow.

Today on 1 of the FB groups there was a comment “that’s my cat”. Something about it felt weird. When my dog went missing & ppl posted they saw him here or there, trying to help us catch him, I would reply “omg thank you, yes thats my dog!” Or whatevs. She just posts, “thats my cat.” So I went to her FB & it looked legit enough, just tons of other ppl’s missing animals & motorcycles. *But* there was no post about her missing a cat. Scrolled back 3 months, nothing. I was going to message her & ask for a photo of the cat, just to verify, since ppl do use cats as bait for dog fights around here. I understand when you are missing an animal, you can be beside yourself, so I shoulda messaged her immediately, but I was tending to things with my own pets & around the house & didnt respond immediately (ie within the hour). Thats on me.

But then I get a phone call, “you found a cat, thats our cat,” from some dude. I said “howd you get this number?” He says, “From the internet, you can search anybody nowadays.” GUYS, my FB profile name is my nickname, not my legal name! You cant search me & find me bc all searchable stuff is either from voter registration or state ID. How did he connect my nickname to my legal name? WTF. Then he says, “my gf is out looking for him - it’s a him - right now. I just gave her your address - *says my address* - that’s you, right?” Im shaking now. “How do you have my address? Someone is just coming to my house?!” I tell him I will NOT be answering the door until my sister is also here. He says, “she’s a 65 year old lady, its fine.” I said, “no, its not & my dog is super protective of me & he doesn’t let me open the door for strangers.” He says, “just bring the cat out to her then .” I stupidly, giving away that I’m disabled or whatevs, said, “cat is downstairs & I can’t do the stairs, you’ll have to wait until my sister comes home. Tell your gf to come back at 5.”

I ask if the number he has called from is his & he says yes & gives me his name. I say I’ll have my sister call to arrange a pick up. Im outside, so I go in, lock all the door, cant get the 1 door to lock properly so I put the chair there. I also turned on alarm & have my dog here, but Im freaked.

I inform Sis & she calls him. He tells her he got my number from 1 of those online Find A People sites. Thats a creepy thing to do. & then to just send someone to your house. What if a stranger just showed up at your front door asking about SM post you had made, without you having given out your info? How would you feel? Sis told him to send her a photo to prove is their cat. So then I go back to the missing animal site & there are a few more comments from the same lady, 1 saying his name is Cletus & the other saying, “We live on *street around the corner*. Please is a outdoor cat. Let him out & he will come back home”.

Ya’ll we live in the city limits! Yeah it’s only a 35k population but we have busy streets & a huge drug problem, have been labeled in the top 10 worst cities in our state, just a bad place to let your animals roam free if you want them to stay safe. Not to mention we aren’t far from the city edges, where we have coyotes. I know I had indoor/outdoor cats in my early 20s in town, but I was young & stupid & raised with barn cats so didn’t know any better. This lady is 65 years old! Yes I’m judging!

My friend is coming to stay this weekend & wanted to adopt the cat. If is theirs, obvs we hafta return it, but Id rather my friend adopt it. Rather my friend than ppl who let it roam in the city & then stalk you online & call you outta the blue & try to roll up on your house unannounced. Fuuuuuck. Also yeah he went missing, bc he begged us to let him in our house, we thought we were helping!

(Anyways, by the time I typed all this, it has been confirmed he is their cat, so we will return it to them later. In a public meet up spot.). But ya’ll, I’m wigging. WTF?