#the adventures of being a woman in science

[flummoxisafunnyword]

Time for another installment of venting into the void to expend my frustration instead of yelling at my male coworkers

[mypoisonedvine]

𝓹𝓪𝓽𝓲𝓮𝓷𝓬𝓮 | laszlo kreizler x reader

𝓼𝓾𝓶𝓶𝓪𝓻𝔂 | being a traditional, well-behaved woman, you saved yourself for marriage. but the things your new husband has planned for you are... less than traditional, and might just show how poorly behaved you can be.

𝔀𝓸𝓻𝓭 𝓬𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽 | over 9k

𝔀𝓪𝓻𝓷𝓲𝓷𝓰𝓼 | SMUT (18+ only!!), virginity loss, age gap (unspecific; laszlo is in his 40s, reader is probably 20-25), multiple orgasms/overstimulation, fingering, oral f receiving, squirting, shy/innocent reader, religious reader (but nothing tooo shame-y or anything), some innocence kink, a hint of medical kink?, slightly pervy laszlo?!?! (moreso he's just a wee bit of a weirdo and says some cringe stuff but like. that's just his vibe sorry)

Laszlo was such an impossible paradox of a man.  Especially compared to the sort of man you always thought you’d marry— what you’d been raised for, even.

An accomplished doctor, a successful and wealthy man of high social standing— a kind, sensitive, intelligent, and patient partner who made you feel beautiful and special and, for lack of a better word, fancy.  That part was exactly as you’d always imagined for yourself, though you had never really believed you could find someone so wonderful.

And then there was the other half of him, the pieces that even in your wildest dreams you would’ve never thought would make up your future husband.  First of all, he was quite a bit older than you.  Even your parents, who had always preferred for you to marry someone already established (as they put it) rather than your own age, were a little concerned that he was in his mid-forties, and only a year younger than your father.  Of course, that was nothing compared to their offense at his profession, and the subsequent open-mindedness he had towards people your parents would rather pretend didn’t exist.  Then again, Laszlo himself having his disability made him the sort of person they would rather pretend didn’t exist, though he’d managed to hide it relatively well.

Maybe they could’ve forgiven any of that.  It was the atheism that put the final nail in the coffin, unfortunately… and someone as brash and unapologetic as Laszlo had no interest in hiding his beliefs to appease your parents.  He hadn’t brought it up, of course, or protested to the crucifixes and cross-stitched scriptures on the walls; but when they’d asked if he was Catholic or Protestant, he told them directly that he was a man of science and didn’t entertain any metaphysical notions or, as he’d so thoughtfully put it, fantasies.

They instantly forbade the courtship and warned you never to see him again.  And maybe that was when he surprised you most— he was so romantic, so… dashing.  He took a carriage to your home and literally threw pebbles at your window, daring you to climb down the lattice and join him for a midnight adventure.  It was then he suggested that you marry him anyways— he had more than enough to take care of you after a disownment from your parents.  He promised to give you anything you wanted, to treat you perfectly, to spend every day trying to keep you as happy as you made him without even trying.

There it was again, the contradictory enigma of Laszlo Kreizler.  A serious, even stern man, proposing to you like a lovestruck teenager.  He had eschewed fantasies a few evenings ago only to turn around and ask you to jump headfirst into a fairytale.

You said yes, though.  You really didn’t think twice about it— you knew he would be good to you.  And you knew you’d never loved someone like you’d loved him before.

You wanted to run away right then and there, but he told you to go home for a few more days, to gather your things— he would send for them while your parents were out, and you could move in with him as soon as you were ready.

When you did move in, though, he seemed a little surprised that you asked for your things to be moved to a spare bedroom.

“Is everything alright?” he asked you softly, stepping closer to you as you crossed your arms over yourself nervously; you waited until you were sure Cyrus was out of earshot, carrying your bags away, before you answered.

“Yes,” you replied quietly, “everything’s fine.”

“It’s understandable if you’re feeling conflicted now,” Laszlo assured.  “Having just left your parents, and not knowing if you’ll see them again—”

“It’s not that,” you promised.  “Well— of course, I feel something about that, but I’m happy to be here with you.  That’s not my issue at all.”

“Then what is?” he pressed.  “I hope you feel that you can tell me.”

You sighed as he reached up to brush your cheek; his touch always soothed you, though it felt a bit different here, in his home.  Your new home.  “I just… wouldn’t feel right about being in your room, until we’re married.”

He nodded.  “Of course.  I shouldn’t have presumed.”

You smiled a little, though it was more out of nervousness than anything.  “I… I wondered if you thought my parents were the only reason that we never— that nothing had—”

“Shh,” he soothed, pushing your hair back from your face until you looked up at him.  “I don’t expect anything from you now.  Well, only that you do whatever you like to make yourself feel at home here.”

“And what… what will you expect from me once I am your wife, Dr. Kreizler?” 

Though you were a little afraid to, you met his gaze; his brown eyes seemed deeper than ever, and you were powerless to look away from them.  “What do you think is right to give me, when you are my wife?”

You sighed a little, feeling his hand on your cheek move carefully down to your neck, his gentle fingers brushing along the smallest part of your collarbone exposed by your dress.  Words escaped you; you wanted him to know that just because you wanted to wait for him didn’t mean you didn’t want him.  Even before, even when you first met him, your mind had supplied you with thoughts that sent you straight to the confession booth.

You wanted to be one with him in every way you could think of… you just needed some to come before others, to feel right with your own beliefs.  Even if you loved an atheist, and felt surprisingly little guilt for it, you were still religious yourself and wanted to honor God’s intention for marriage.  

Didn’t mean you couldn’t yearn for your soon-to-be husband, right?  It certainly didn’t mean you couldn’t enjoy the full benefits of physical intimacy when the time came.

But obviously, you were far from brave enough to say all that.  Instead, you found your hands wandering to his chest, following the pattern of his suit coat up to his shoulders, biting your lip without even realizing it.  He simply continued to watch you, and you got the feeling that he understood you better than you could explain it yourself.  One of the bonuses of being loved by an expert on the human mind, perhaps.

You were almost in a trance, not noticing how long you were spending just gently touching and holding him in this simple way— until you looked up and met his gaze again, and felt a little weak.  “Can we marry soon?” you asked softly, almost under your breath.  You hoped he wouldn’t tease you, you weren’t secure enough for him to mock your obvious eagerness, to call attention to your desire for him.  Thankfully, he stayed perfectly serious, because he was just as affected as you were.

“As soon as you like,” he replied earnestly.

It was probably for the best that Cyrus walked in to the parlor at that moment, and you instinctively pulled back from Laszlo, crossing your arms again.  “Your bags are in the downstairs bedroom, madam,” he informed you, “down the hallway under the stairs.”

You nodded at him as Laszlo responded, “Thank you, Cyrus.  That will be all.”

He left, and you looked at your fiance again, feeling a bit silly for what he’d seen in you a moment before.  But he smiled at you, and you figured he’d be the last person to judge you for any of that.  “I’ll give you a little time to unpack and freshen up, if you like,” he offered.  “I hope you’ll join me for dinner at seven this evening.  I believe we’ll be having quail.”

“Of course— thank you,” you smiled, watching him begin to turn to depart.  But for a second, he hesitated— like he didn’t want to leave you— and you prayed he wouldn’t kiss you.  It’s not that you didn’t want him to… you wanted him to more than anything.  He’d only kissed you once before, at the end of a particularly exhilarating night out together, and you hadn’t stopped thinking about it for a moment since.

So no, it wasn’t that you didn’t want him to kiss you.  It was only that, if he did, you knew you’d have trouble letting it be just a kiss.

Therefore, you were just as relieved as you were disappointed when he departed without incident.

///

A few days later, you eloped.  You hadn’t felt much urge to have a ‘proper’ wedding when no one you knew approved of the marriage anyway— they were all too deep in your parents’ pocket, unfortunately.  And even if anyone cared enough to come, Laszlo refused to be wed in a church (you thought maybe he would bend on it if you really begged, he was overall quite accommodating to you, but it wasn’t worth your trouble) and so it would’ve just been another scandal.  

Truly, you were just as happy this way— it was the happiest day of your life, really.  You left the courthouse as Mrs. Kreizler, wearing a stunning silver band he’d had engraved with your new initials and flowering vines all around in a swirling, whimsical pattern.  His band was simpler, but you loved it even more— just because it was his, and seeing him wearing it made your heart skip all day.

Anticipation for your wedding night only grew with every passing moment.  Laszlo himself was in the bathroom with the door shut— you heard the sink running, the various sounds of him preparing for bed.  You were just trying to get your heart to slow down, trying not to have any specific goals or expectations for the evening.  Today had already been perfect.

But, of course, it was hard not to imagine what was next for the two of you— your things had already been moved into his room.  A vanity had been placed in it as well, a wedding gift from Sara Howard (a friend of Laszlo’s you had become acquainted with during this whirlwind romance), and you were using it now as you prepared yourself for bed.  You were already in your nightgown, having changed after Laszlo left the room (not that you had to, but it felt more natural that way), and you were carefully unpinning your hair from its meticulous style.

As you concluded the final steps of your evening routine, you saw the bathroom door open behind you in your reflection; your husband emerged, wearing an embroidered silk robe that offered a view of a sliver of his chest— not very much, but more than you’d ever seen.  You didn’t notice the way your thighs pressed against each other more tightly; he approached you slowly, and you eventually turned to look at him directly.  With you still sitting on the vanity’s padded stool, he towered over you when he stood close… and as you lifted your head to look up at him, his hand brushed softly along your jaw.  You tilted into his touch just a bit, smiling at him while your heart fluttered.

“You’re so beautiful, mein Schatz,” he whispered, and you felt a little giddy when he talked like that— he’d only ever indulged you in his German after having a few drinks, so this instance caught you off-guard in the best way.  Not to mention he’d called you Schatz before— treasure, apparently, and a common term of endearment— but he’d never tagged it with mein before.  And you were his, truly.  You were glad he’d waited to say it until it was actually true (even if, in a certain sense, it was already true before).

He motioned, rather subtly, for you to stand up.  It seemed simple enough, but you felt a little shaky as you did it— a nervous excitement, like the kind you would feel before a piano recital or debutante ball.  Except those were all public engagements, and this was as private as anything could be.

Touching your face again, he wove his fingers back around your neck, his thumb cradling your jaw right in front of your ear.  And he kissed you— just like that, quick at first but then slowing down as you both sighed a bit.

You admired how easily he’d done it, and thank god for it, because you would’ve spent quite a while working up the courage.  This was different from the night you’d kissed him after a few weeks of seeing each other— it was very different from the kiss you’d shared at the courthouse earlier that day.  It would’ve made sense if there was a sense of neediness to it, as if he were making up for lost time or relieving all the anticipation for this night.  But really, it was all rather relaxed, at least on his part.  Like he had all the time in the world: which, you know, he did.

You, on the other hand… you were feeling a bit more out of your element.  Not that you weren’t enjoying this new one so far, it was just a little unfamiliar.

His hand floated lower and traced down your back— delicately, with the tips of his fingers brushing your skin through the thin fabric until chills started to run over you.  You gasped a little into the kiss, and put your hands on the patterned lapels of his robe; you didn’t actually push him away, but he pulled back as if you had, examining your face carefully for a moment.

You hadn’t needed him to stop, but you were a little glad he did: just a moment’s break from it all before it became overwhelming.  His fingers still traced gentle shapes on your lower back through the nightgown, and you found your gaze drifting to his chest, to your hands resting on it— and your own fingertips ventured into the exposed piece of his chest.  His skin was paler here, with a reddish-blondish patch of hair just starting to be visible.  You touched it, taking a quick and shaky breath, and wondered why something inside you tightened as you pet him here.  He was so… masculine.  His looks weren’t sweet and boyish, no: he was broad and strong (he would deny that one if you said it, but to you he was) and sharp around the edges, and it was something you never expected to excite you so much.

But you loved that you could still feel a bit of friction from his beard after he’d kissed you.  You loved the subtle scent of his cologne, how sturdy he felt under your touch.

Your hands drifted up to his face, fingers brushing through his hair slowly, and he smiled at you.  His hair was just a bit long for what was typical of men these days, and you enjoyed combing through the dark brown locks and noticing the little golden highlights in the dimmed light of the room.

The hand on your hip pulled you closer, pressing your body against his, and you tried your best to relax into the warm strength of his form while your heart kept racing.

When he kissed you again, he moved in slowly, watching your face before his own eventually met with it, and you fluttered your eyes shut as his lips gently pressed to yours.  This time, you found yourself leaning in for more, kissing him back with more passion; you let out a little dampened moan when his tongue brushed against your bottom lip, taking the next opportunity to gently move further into your mouth.  

He broke away all too soon, embracing you even tighter, pressing his cheek to yours.  And when you, in turn, wrapped your arms around him and pressed yourself against him everywhere you could… you felt it.

Even if you had very little knowledge about this sort of thing, you understood what that hard, curved shape was, pressed just above where your hip met your stomach.  You knew what it was, and your body did too— heat pooled at your core, every touch awakening you even more.

“Oh,” you sighed shakily, holding tighter onto him to just have something to hold onto.

“It's alright,” he whispered, soft words floating on his breath which tickled under your ear.  “It's alright, my darling, I won't hurt you.”

You hummed softly in return, nodding as his lips brushed over your cheek, then moved to your neck.  “I know,” you replied.  “I trust you, Laszlo.”

But you couldn't help but gasp when his tongue teased your pulse, his teeth gently grazing the most delicate places they could find.  His grip at your waist tightened when you whimpered.  “Is this pleasurable to you?” he asked softly; even such a formal statement made you shudder when he said it in that low, buttery voice…

You nodded, your back arching slightly to press yourself against him, but you felt him smile against you suddenly.

“I'd like for you to say it,” he explained, an unfamiliar darkness to his voice.

“It's… pleasurable,” you panted.  “When you kiss me there… it's like I feel every touch s-somewhere else—”

“Where, my love?”

“Here,” you sighed, grabbing his hand from your back and moving it between your legs.  He instantly cupped and rubbed your mound, and your knees nearly buckled from the pleasure.

“Mein Gott, you're so sensitive,” he observed, his own voice sounding a little strained, “I've hardly touched you.”

“L-Laszlo, just touch me more,” you pleaded.

Though he’d been so careful until that moment, he suddenly started to pull up the skirt of your nightgown rather hastily, nostrils flaring as he bent down slightly and worked to hoist the fabric up.  Finally, he got under it, but teased you by rubbing and groping at your thighs instead; under his breath, you just barely heard a growl before he began to kiss your neck again.

“Even if both my hands were strong, I'd wish for more to touch you with,” he mumbled against your skin.  “I'd still want to cover you entirely, reach every part of you at once.”

Well, you liked the sound of that, but one hand was doing you plenty of good already— especially when it slid back up to cup you again, making you sigh and moan as his fingers slipped through your folds, spreading your abundant wetness all around.

Desperate to return even a portion of the sensation he was giving to you, you placed your hand against the bulge in his trousers.  Though the shape and firmness of him made you gasp excitedly, he only let you rub it for a few moments before sighing and moving your hand away.  “Not yet, my darling,” he instructed.  “It's best if we take this one step at a time, for now.”

You felt a little silly, having to be held back like that, but you nodded.  He obviously knew better than you about all this.

It was almost too much, the way he was touching you: you had your arms wrapped tight around his shoulders to try to keep yourself upright, frankly.  And yet, for how overwhelming it was, you heard yourself saying—

“More, please,” you begged, “I-I need you, just give me more, please—”

“I will,” he promised roughly, “but not here.  I think it’s only right that I take you to bed, hm?”

If you weren’t all worked up, you might’ve made some witty comment about how at least the bed’s not too far or whatever— but no, you just let him guide you the few steps to the mattress, and you sat on it as you simply awaited further orders.  So little that he’d done to you, and you’d already do whatever he asked in exchange for continued attention.

You watched him roll up his sleeve— it took him a little while with the weaker hand, but you didn’t mind letting this moment last— and didn’t even notice the way your mouth had gone slack, you were nearly salivating.  “Lay back, darling,” he instructed simply, still looking at his sleeve as he finally folded it up to his elbow, “and open your legs.”

You obeyed, of course, and bit absent-mindedly on your lip as you slowly lifted your knees and parted your thighs.  There was no point being shy now, of course— and you were more than eager for him to get back to doing what he had been before— but you still felt a nervous hesitance that made your hands (and heart) shake slightly.  Something about stopping to get in the bed had brought a bit of sobriety to the moment, and you realized in retrospect how desperate you must have looked.  Surely he wouldn’t hold that against you…

He lifted your skirt again, up to your hips, and hummed lowly at the sight of your sex.  Your face burned hotter; you liked the way he touched it, but you didn’t feel entirely comfortable with him… staring at it.

Still, it was the sort of slight discomfort that felt oddly… good?  Yes, you were a bit embarrassed and exposed at the moment, but it felt wrong in that fun, naughty sort of way; it made your hips shift a little, presumably in hopes of some friction.  Thankfully, their wish was answered: his hand was on you again, pulling your lips apart, slowly exploring you until your eyes fluttered shut.

“May I touch you inside as well?” he asked— as if there was any risk of you turning that offer down.

“Y-yes, Laszlo, please,” you whispered, whimpering as you felt the tip of his pointer finger— suddenly it seemed a little thicker than you remembered— press up to your entrance and ever so gently slide inside.

“Just one to start,” he narrated softly as that one finger made your toes curl, only one finger making your hips twist and your back arch.  How could he do that to you so easily?  “And my thumb can help with this lovely little organ you have…”

His thumb circled your bud, and you shuddered all over— even inside— and instantly struggled to catch your breath.  “Laszlo, what… what is that…” you breathed, whimpering when he rubbed it again.

“Your clitoris, my love— you’ve never touched here before?”

He should’ve known you hadn’t— even if you had… explored yourself out of childish curiosity probably a decade ago, you would’ve remembered if it felt like this.  Shaking your head, you were surprised by his little growl.

“Your poor girl,” he cooed, something a little attractive about the slight condescension of it.  “You have so much to learn.  I can’t even imagine the things you’ve never felt before…”

He slowly moved the pad of his thumb up and down over the flesh, which only grew firmer as he continued.  “Oh!” you whimpered, hips rocking back against his touch— it was so wild of you, you thought, but you couldn’t really stop yourself.  He pressed harder and your whole body jumped.  “Fuck!”

He laughed a little, and your face got warmer.  “I’ve never heard you use language like that, Schatz, but it sounds impossibly adorable when you say it.”

“I-I’m sorry,” you began, “I couldn’t help it—”

“No, don’t apologize,” he insisted, “I’d rather you said it again.  Whenever you can’t help it, of course.”

You knew that Laszlo knew more than you about many topics, being a highly-educated man of great intellect, but you hadn’t expected him to introduce you to an entirely new body part that you’d been carrying with you this whole time.  If you’d figured out how to do anything like this to yourself, you might have spent your entire adolescence trapped in your room, so maybe it was for the best that you never put it together.

You weren't sure how any woman was meant to learn these things— you figured she wasn't meant to, unfortunately— but if she had a choice, you'd certainly recommend this method, provided she could find her own husband to try it with rather than borrowing yours.  What a visceral and beautiful way to learn how much that little organ could really do: Laszlo rubbing it with his thumb, with just the right amount of pressure to make a loud moan crawl out of you.

“The noises you make are just delightful, my darling,” he praised.  “Keep going, so I know what I should do.”

“Just do that,” you begged, “just keep doing that.”

“Only this?” he pressed.  “I shouldn't even add another finger?”

Of course, that was when he did— gently pressing his middle finger to your opening until it accommodated it, and you heard your own high-pitched whine in disbelief that you'd made the sound.  “F-fuck, that feels… Laszlo, you're so—”

But you interrupted yourself, because he did something so diabolical with his fingers just then.  He'd only twisted and scissored them inside you for a moment before curling them up, rubbing the most delicate place you never knew you had— just as he pushed down harder on your poor clit.  You felt ravenous all of a sudden, terribly overwhelmed but greedy for more.

“Please, oh god, please—” you started to beg before you even knew what you wanted.  He knew what you wanted, and he gave it to you: more.  It wasn't even very significant of a movement, and yet it turned your whole body into his plaything as you started to shake all over.

“You react more than I ever expected, my darling,” he cooed.  “I never dreamed how well you would respond to my touch.  I've only just begun and I think you're already nearly there.”

Before you could wonder where he was talking about, he pulled his fingers out of you carefully.  You heard yourself whimper a little, opening your eyes and looking at him worriedly.  He smiled, seeming to enjoy how much his interruption seemed to bother you; “Take off your nightgown, my love,” he requested plainly.  “I think I’d like to get a good look at you before I go on.”

Sitting up (and finding your head a bit more dizzy than you expected), you started by unbuttoning from your neck halfway down to your chest, before lifting the thin garment up over your head slowly.  You felt so strange doing this— undressing in front of a man— but your heart pounded with hope that he would enjoy what he saw.  Tossing the dress aside, you sheepishly bit your lip and waited for his assessment as his dark brown eyes grazed over your nude form.

He moved a little closer, his hand running up your leg and then around your side, reaching up to carefully cup one of your breasts.  You breathed deeply but unevenly, your chest rising and falling against his touch.  You were almost nervous that he hadn’t said anything yet, but the look in his eyes just became more and more clear; you whimpered under your breath when his fingers brushed over your hardened nipple, ever-so-delicately pinching it until your hips shifted a bit in response.  “How beautiful you are, my love,” he whispered, making you squirm again with just his words.  “Is it true you’re really my wife?  This lovely, delicate body that only I can touch and caress, laying next to me every night… I don’t know when I’ll really believe it.”

You had to shut your eyes for a second— you might be too brash if he kept on like that, praising you so tenderly.  “You could’ve been a poet,” you told him with a little smirk, blinking open your eyes again as he guided you to lay back once more, “if medicine didn’t suit you.”

“Oh, I’m no poet, Schatz,” he smiled in return, taking one more careful squeeze of your other breast before moving down to pet inside your legs again.  “All I am is painfully honest.”

His fingers slid inside you again, and you could’ve sworn he was rubbing inside you a bit more firmly than he had been before— thrusting a little faster, pushing a little deeper.  And all the while he was staring down at you, back and forth between your face and your hole, with a delicious darkness in his eyes.

It was still a patient endeavor, so much so that you never really noticed that he was getting a little quicker and rougher with it.  You really didn’t figure it out until you heard yourself choking out his name, groaning and gasping louder than you meant to— but you couldn’t suppress it very well, either.

You soon began to realize what he meant before with that nearly there comment, without even having any prior knowledge of what it could be… there was something instinctive about it, something totally natural.  You didn’t know what was coming, but you understood it; you knew you were on the edge of something and that if you could just get there it would be perfect.

Still, you couldn’t have known how much you would enjoy it.

You couldn’t stop moaning— it was this all-surrounding, ecstatic feeling, like… sinking into something.  Relaxing into something… something warm and soft and good.  Even a lifetime of religious repression couldn’t convince you this was anything but perfect.  Actually, nothing had ever felt right quite the way this did.

Your back arched rather dramatically, until you had a good view of the headboard upside-down; and he gave you few more fast, rough pumps of his fingers into your shaking body before slowing down to a stop and letting you rest.

Suddenly drained, you melted back down onto the bed with a long whine.  “How did that feel?” he asked, sounding a little formal about it, and you only could muster a little, exhausted laugh because what did he think you were going to say?  ‘It was alright, tickled a little bit, but I didn’t mind it.’

“That was… you… you’re so—” you began a few times, giving up to open your eyes wide when his fingers pet up and down over the seam of your lips, gently exploring you, making you quiver from how sensitive you’d become.  You weren’t even done recovering from the stimulation and he was giving you more; he seemed sort of absent-minded about it, the way he gently and repetitively slid up and down and up and down through your slick and swollen folds… but it was deliberate, you knew it was, because he smiled when you moaned weakly.

One finger pressed inside you again, and he watched your face closely and you shuddered.  You were just the slightest bit sore, and it felt like that one finger was more of a stretch than before… which seemed impossible, but with the erratic pulsing of your walls, it was a little hard to keep track.

You gasped sharply when he put the second finger in you once more, almost snarling a bit as he watched you react so strongly.  “Laszlo, I— I don't think I can do that again—”

“You can, I'm sure of it,” he encouraged, curling his fingers inside of you, which required a bit more force with your channel bearing down against him in response.  “It might even come faster this time, that little spot is all swollen now—”

Before he could finish that sentence, he proved it by circling the place, making your hips jump up as another whine eked out of you.  “O-oh, I— fuck…”

He smirked a bit, a delicious smugness to his expression, and the emotion looked much too good on him.  “See?  Just let me take control, my love.  I think you'll like what I do, if you simply let me do what I like with you.”

Fuck, that had to be the most beautiful thing you'd ever heard.  You were biting your lip to try to keep back the flood of terribly embarrassing things your pleasure wanted to say for you: you can do whatever you like with me; I'm yours; I'd do anything for you; don't ever stop, but also if you don't fuck me soon I might lose my mind, you know, things of that nature.  Instead you let out a muffled moan, and nodded to make sure he knew that he had your permission for whatever he thought was best.

And, of course, he’d been right about you: that you’d be even more sensitive after coming, and would be able to go through it all over again.  It only took probably a minute or two of dedicated, precise stimulation for the feeling to grow again… except it felt a little stronger this time, like it was building past the point that it had broken at before.  Maybe your tolerance was higher, or something?  You really weren’t qualified to say— all you could think about was this sensation, this tension, and the way he looked at you as you started to shake all over.

Your eyes fell shut instinctively, your shaking hands clutching at the bed under you; you felt sort of numb all over, except instead of everything being dulled and distant, it was only heightened.

“O-oh, oh, Laszlo, I—” you tried to warn him, words escaping you as the heavy, almost sharp feeling gathered tighter and tighter…

“Give into it,” he insisted, “it’s alright— I want to see it.  I want to hear you, I want to feel you when you come—”

His voice was getting darker, rougher, more demanding as he went on; and in the same way, his fingers’ thrusts into you became more aggressive.  “Fuck, I— I think I’ll— oh god!” you yelped.

“Yes,” he encouraged, “let go, darling!”

Your arms flailed around for a second before finding a lump in the sheets to grab onto tightly, your hips rocking against his hand, your head falling back in a scream; it was so intense, and so sudden, and you felt like the pressure that had been building broke so violently that it would’ve been painful without all the ecstasy running through your veins, numbing you inside and out.

You could tell that this one was different— hotter, warmer, wetter— but you had no idea what you’d done until the high had started to fade just a bit.

His hand slowed down to a stop, you heard him quietly catching his breath, and you blinked your eyes open… that’s when you noticed small wet stains on his rolled-up sleeve, and shiny fluid along his forearm— and a very proud grin on his face.

You felt your eyes go wide and your cheeks start baking.  He spoke up before you could even try to process what to say: “That was excellent, my love— I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything so magnificent,” he praised.  “You’re incredible.”

You wanted to believe him, but it didn’t really offer much explanation.  “Laszlo, I… did I—?”

“No, darling, don’t worry,” he cooed, scooting a little closer on the bed as he pet the inside of your thigh.  “It’s natural— one of the… rarer ways that a woman’s body can respond to stimulation.  I’ve always found the concept fascinating, but until now, my knowledge was… purely theoretical.  Actually, I’d love to gather your perspective on the experience, possibly for a future research paper on the topic— but that’s an issue for another time.  There’s a more pressing matter I need to discuss with you.”

You raised an eyebrow, curious what matter could be discussed in a time like this.

“I… I'd like to try something else,” he announced, and you dropped your head back on the bed in a sort of defeat.

“Something else?!” you whimpered, still catching your breath from the last thing he had “tried”.  “What else could there be but making love?”

“That will be soon, I promise, I just… I can't resist such an opportunity,” he explained.  “Your scent is so erotic, and it's only grown stronger now that you’ve so generously covered my arm in your ecstasy.  And with anything that smells so delectable, one can't help but crave to taste it.”

You'd only heard about this before— sort of a dirty schoolyard secret, almost an urban legend.  The whole thing had always sounded odd to you, if maybe not as icky as you thought it was when you first had the concept whispered to you as a child.  You didn't realize it was actually something you might experience someday, assuming it was a practice reserved to the especially perverted.  Now that he was offering it, you found yourself biting your lip as you tried to imagine what it would be like.

“I'd like to pleasure you with my mouth,” he concluded, really spelling it out for you.  “Would that be alright?”

You weren't sure what to think of that, and yet you were already nodding yes.  This was your husband, after all— who else could you trust to do something like this?  Most of all, you did it because you wanted to please him.  Because he'd asked you for it.

He smiled a little when you agreed, and began to lean down between your legs.  Those deep brown eyes seemed to sparkle more than ever when he looked up at you, but his gaze couldn't stay with yours for long before he had to give a closer look to your cunt.  He carefully spread the lips with his fingers, humming at the sight.  “I wonder if it's even possible for you to be as delicious as you look,” he spoke quietly, and a needy whine caught in your throat.

It was just a gentle kiss to your clit first… then another, with his lips parted.  Then he started to ever-so-gently suckle at it, tongue softly petting it; he wasn't doing too much, physically, but you never could catch your breath while he was doing it.

You whined a bit when he broke away, looking down at him in search of an explanation but finding instead him looking back up at you with an indescribable look in his eye.

“How does that feel?” he asked, his voice rougher and darker than you'd ever heard it before, making you shiver gleefully.

“Wet,” you blurted out, making him smile a little, a small laugh on an exhale through his nose that made you feel a bit foolish in an unexpectedly pleasurable way.  “A-and warm… please don't stop, Laszlo, it felt so nice…”

He got back to it, a little more intensely than before, and your eyes rolled back when he really started to lap at you with his tongue— harder and wider each time, making you writhe from the intensity of it.

You couldn't even describe the sound you made when he pushed his tongue inside you.  He moaned against you in response to it, though, and thank God, he kept going.

He kept petting your thighs, even encouraging you when your legs clamped down around his head unintentionally; presumably that was his way of saying it wasn’t giving him any pain, which you were a bit concerned about, even if you couldn’t really stop yourself.  Sometimes you had the strength to meet his gaze, but most of the time you felt like you’d melt if you looked back at him— the way he was staring up at you was just too fiery, too intense, too beautiful.  

Just when you thought you were getting used to the pattern of his tongue’s movements on your clit, he gently pushed his two fingers back into your pulsing channel.  You were all tingly and sore inside, but a long, deep moan fell from your mouth as your back arched.

“Beautiful,” he praised, the word muffled by what he was doing— which he got back to more urgently than ever, twisting and thrusting his fingers inside you carefully at first.

“J-just like that,” you pleaded.  “Oh, Laszlo, I— I didn't know anything could… feel like this…”

You could feel the smallest smirk on his lips as he continued; even just being able to feel his smug smile there was such a lovely, erotic, totally novel concept to you.  

When he really buried his face in your legs, you could feel the roughness of his beard against the sensitive skin of your inner thighs and buttocks, and god was it the most beautifully filthy feeling.  It was really an excellent metaphor for the whole thing: the symbol of his maturity, the well-kempt facial hair itself a balance between his wildness and his meticulous self-control, rubbing raw your delicate and untouched skin in such an intimate place.  If you weren’t too busy shaking and crying and seeing stars on this bed, you might have appreciated the beauty in those parallels, but clearly you weren’t capable of thinking about it to that level of depth.

The stream of helpless praises you'd been trying to hold back earlier?  There was absolutely nothing stopping it from spilling forward now.  “You're incredible,” you blurted out, your hand holding tighter to the sheets beneath you.  “Laszlo— my husband— you… you must be the devil, o-or an angel or prophet— or something. You make me feel things, such incredible things, that I didn't even know—”

He opened his mouth wide around you, breaking the seal of his lips so he could speak against your skin.  “I'm just a man,” he promised, “I'm just a husband becoming addicted to his new wife's pleasure, that's all, my dear.”

As he started to do it again so suddenly, you reacted suddenly as well: your hand found his hair and grabbed it, and your mind was too far gone to worry about it being too aggressive.  Not that he gave any signs of annoyance— if anything it was the opposite, as he lapped at you harder in response.  

This, of course made your hips jump up— until his hand slipped out of you, grabbing them and pulling them down, keeping you still as he continued.  The simple show of dominance affected you greatly, another heavy pulse of pleasure hitting you suddenly.

“I-I'm close,” you whispered.  “Laszlo, I'm so close— and it feels so different than before— I swear, nothing's ever felt so— fuck!”

He hummed encouragingly, and your whole body rocked in time with the growing pressure.  His fingers sliding back inside you, seeming to curl even more than before, certainly added to the sensation.

Just as you were teetering on the edge, his teeth grazed impossibly-carefully over you, a sharp and raw sort of pleasure jolting your entire body.  Of course, you couldn't fight against that, and the feeling inside you snapped as yet another flood of pleasure ripped through your body.  Your ears were ringing but you still heard how loud you must have been, how totally wrecked and helpless your moans had become.  

It wasn’t as… aggressive of a feeling as the one that had made you… you know… but it was probably the most powerful in its own way.  The highest, the heaviest, the most whole.  You couldn't hear him moaning against you through all that, but you could feel it: a deep and bassy vibration that only heightened the feeling even more.  Your moans turned to cries and then sobs; it was too much, the feeling was spilling over inside you— you weren't sure how much longer you could take it all before you broke.

It seemed, however, that he broke first; he pulled away and sat up, leaving you both panting, sweaty messes.  

“God, you're so beautiful,” he sighed, grabbing you by the neck to pull you up into a filthy, heated kiss.  You surrendered instantly, grabbing into his shoulders with hands that were still pricked with pins and needles as your high dissipated slowly.  “I can't wait anymore,” he mumbled against your lips, “I need to be inside you.”

“Please,” you gasped softly— you'd been waiting for this all night, at least.  You'd never imagined yourself so eager, so desperate for it, though…

He made quick work untying his robe, leaning over you as he held tightly onto his cock and guided the swollen, leaking head between your lips.  Yes, even with desire coursing through your veins, a touch of anxiety was still present.  You just couldn’t imagine what this was going to be like, you could still hardly believe it was happening to you— and, though it was a bit crass to think, you were a bit surprised by the brief glance of his cock that you’d gotten.  You wouldn’t really know what was big or small or normal or abnormal when it came to that… you had nothing to compare it to.  What you did know was that it seemed much… thicker, than seemed appropriate to go inside you.  Of course you knew that a young woman’s first experience could be painful, you’d heard that bleeding was normal (if not expected, but that seemed a bit barbaric and certainly not what a progressive man like Laszlo was after) — yet, you still weren’t properly scared.  It was just the sort of anticipation that made you shiver and let out a long breath to compose yourself.

He groaned a little as he continued to rub against you, and you noticed the arm that held him up over you was shaking.  You could only imagine how frustrating it must have been to be giving you all that attention and not getting any in return for so long, and you could only hope he might take a little of that frustration out on you…

“Please,” you said again, quieter, as you looked up at him.  Thankfully, that was enough to make him press forward and slide into you all at once.

While his fingers had stretched you in such strange, sometimes overwhelming ways, his cock… it just fit.  It filled you exactly the way you needed— not too wide or too deep… though you suspected it would've been had he not prepared you so incredibly thoroughly.  And while his tongue has made you feel such unimaginable things, though his lips had effortlessly sucked ecstasy from your shaking body, having him inside you felt so simple and natural and easy.  

He hissed in his breaths as he moved— slow at first, but each one just a bit faster than the last.  Every movement stimulated all the places he'd already awoken inside you, and your legs moved on their own to latch around his hips while your head fell back with a satisfied sigh.

“My angel,” he groaned, staring down at you as each of his thrusts rocked you under him.  “I knew I— fuck, darling— I knew I'd have trouble keeping myself together when I was finally inside you.  Yet you're… you're even more perfect than I imagined.”

You smiled proudly, reaching up to hold his shoulders; he seemed encouraged by that, becoming just a bit rougher in his movements until your nails accidentally dug into his skin just a bit.

“I won't be able to last much longer,” he grunted, “but I-I can't stop.  I can't even slow down, I never… I've never lost control like this before.”

A shiver ran up your whole body, even seeming to make you clench inside— and he moaned in return, a beautifully pitiful sound.  

“I'm sorry,” he offered between panting breaths, and you barely mustered the energy to laugh. 

“Beloved, what do you have to apologize for?” you teased through a grin.  “Surely you're not worried that I will be left unsatisfied.”

“I would rather bring you to orgasm again,” he explained, “but I'm so desperate for you, I'm afraid I lack the patience for it.”

“I would rather pleasure my husband, for once,” you replied, “but you couldn't possibly feel what I felt, I don't think I'll ever be able to really return the favor—”

“It's no favor,” he insisted.  “Your pleasure is what I desire.  And a good wife gives her husband what he desires, no?”

You whimpered desperately, pathetically even.  “I'll be good for you, Laszlo,” you promised weakly, “I want to be a good wife to you…”

“You're a very good wife, my dear,” he assured.  “Look how much pleasure you've let me take from you, look how you've soaked our bed with your lovely nectar…”

You weren't sure which part of that aroused you the most… but our bed was a serious contender.

“And you taste absolutely divine,” he added, before kissing you again to let you taste it, too.  It was a sloppy and needy kiss, not precise and careful like basically everything else he'd done to you so far, but you loved it.  You loved any sign that he might be just as desperate as you.

Once again his speed and intensity picked up, until you could hear his skin hitting against yours loudly, and your back arched a bit at how perfectly dirty it felt.  His cock hit a spot deep inside you, and you sucked in a sharp breath.  “Laszlo,” you blurted out, and he groaned as he moved his kiss to your neck.  

“Keep saying my name,” he demanded.  “Tell me who your husband is— who makes you feel this way you've never felt before.”

“Laszlo,” you said again, “I'm yours.  Anything you want from me, it's yours.”

“Yes,” he agreed with a heavy sigh.

“Your wife, always,” you continued, and it made your own heart swell along with encouraging him: he moved faster, rocked deeper into you, and breathed heavy against your ear as your back arched from the erotic perfection of the moment.

“My wife,” he repeated, making you whine and nod and bear down on him with your walls.

“Yes,” you gasped, “yes— yours, I’m yours—”

“I-I can't hold back anymore,” he moaned, “I don't… I don't even know if I can bring myself to pull out before—”

“Don't,” you begged.  “I want it inside, Laszlo.  I want all of you inside me.”

“Oh, darling, mein Schatz, I—” he choked, but he never finished his sentence.  He just moaned louder and louder and fucked you faster and faster— until you were nearly screaming from how hard he hammered into you.

It stopped all at once; he pressed himself as deep inside you as he could, so deep you felt like you were struggling to breathe, and hid his face in the curve of your neck as he came inside you.

And for a long, beautiful moment, you just laid together; you were sort of halfway between awake and asleep, your whole body thrummed with emotions and sensations you never thought you could fit within yourself.  Time passed, surely, but you wouldn’t have known the difference.  His weight on top of you wasn’t too heavy, though it did keep you pressed into the mattress and sheets— not that you were going anywhere anyways.

You only really came back to reality when you felt small kisses trailing your neck; you hummed and squirmed a little beneath him, making you both groan as it stirred where you were connected.  He must have been a bit sore, too, though you felt like you’d been through quite a lot more and had a better excuse.

He moved again, just barely, and you winced as you held onto his back.  “Don’t go,” you whispered, afraid of the pain if he didn’t just stay still inside you.

“I have to, sometime,” he breathed in return.

“But—”

“I know, my love,” he cooed, “I’d stay inside you forever if I could.  But I’ll hurt you more if I don’t give you time to rest.”

Resigning yourself with a sigh, you nodded a little and scrunched up your face as he pulled his hips back.  It did sting, but it faded quickly once he was out— and the feeling was replaced with a warm, wet feeling that you realized must have been his seed leaking out of you.  It made you feel a bit dirty, but wonderful, too.

He laid beside you with a deep breath, his hand coming up to your face and turning it so you would look back at him.  You had to blink a few times to really see clearly, and even still, everything seemed a bit blurry around the edges.  The whole world seemed a bit softer, really.  “I love you, darling wife,” he told you simply, his voice soft but no longer a whisper, and he pet your cheek as he leaned in to kiss the bridge of your nose.

“I love you too, husband,” you cooed in reply.  “You’re so wonderful— a-and you’re nothing like I imagined, sometimes.”

“Perhaps I should have been more careful,” he offered nervously.

“No— that was perfect,” you promised.

“I meant the very end, there,” he clarified, his hand running down over your body and resting on your stomach.  “You might have wanted to wait longer… if you had a child so soon, you might wish we had more time just the two of us.”

Your heart skipped a beat as you realized what he meant.  “Oh, that…” you mumbled, smiling a bit to yourself.

“I fully intended to have my finish elsewhere, to lower the chances— I didn’t think I would become so… impulsive,” he sighed.  “I hoped to still control myself, but I’m afraid I wasn’t quite able to, once I was within you.  But I couldn’t help it, with the way you feel…”

“It’s alright,” you laughed weakly, “it’s not as if I were acting rationally.  I never… I didn’t think I could be so… so—”

A thousand words came to mind.  Unladylike.  Animalistic.  Desperate.  Insatiable.

“I didn’t think I’d ever act like that,” you said instead, voice getting a little softer as you felt a bit shy again.

“I knew you would,” he responded, making you look at him with wide eyes and warming cheeks.

“You— but I— I was always—!”

“Yes, you behaved very well each time I met you” he recalled with a proud smile, “always so sweet and well-mannered.  But I knew you had so much need within you, so much hunger… a being of pure instinct just waiting to take over when the time was right.”

Your heart skipped a beat— you felt a bit… accused by that statement, yet you couldn’t really deny it.  Even if you hadn’t known it before, it was clearly true now.  “How… how could you have sensed that?” you wondered.

He raised an eyebrow as he looked at you again; you loved the way he looked in that moment.  His expression was familiar, but the total lack of composure— flushed cheeks, sweat on his brow, messed hair— was totally new and quite pleasant.  “If you didn’t have any desire to misbehave, my darling, you wouldn’t have been going out with me.”

[eureka-its-zico]

Chaos in Their Bones Ch. 6

Ongoing Series

Synopsis: All your life you’d listened to your friend, Usopp spin wild tales about pirates and adventure. Pirates weren’t a thing that came often to Syrup Village, but one straw hat pirate and his crew changed all that the day they arrived. Now, you aren’t so sure if your sleepy little village was always pirate-free or if no one had been paying attention.  

Pairing: Roronoa Zoro x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, frenemies to lovers, slow burn (I hope y’all like aching) eventual smut

Words: 16.7+

A/N:  I swear I don’t start writing chapters with the intention of making them like this. The next chapter is probably going to be smaller because I get so much anxiety giving you guys these big beefy chapters. This chapter is HEFTY and full of angst. There are more one-on-one interactions with the crew members to start bringing everything together. I'm not going to lie, I struggled a lot writing this week because I started to think my writing was trash. I know it’s not necessarily true but ya. I prevailed enough to bring you this. As always, thank you, guys, for all the love and support. For always being so kind and loving my story as much as you do. I hope you all continue to enjoy this story🖤 Much Love, Jenn

P.s. This chapter is sponsored by not really  Halsey’s - Ya’aburnee 

Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4  Previous Next

The background noise that rose and fell in octaves around you told you that they were all still talking; still arguing. Usopp disappeared to find Luffy who you could only guess was inside that damn kitchen. Nami continued to try and talk sense into Zoro who ignored every word she said by lazily running his swords over the wet stone he’d placed on the galley’s island. 

“Are you even listening to me?” 

Nami was struggling to keep her voice calm but she was losing. She’d looked over at you more than a few times since you’d all evacuated to the ship to help her, but what could you magically say to make Zoro change his mind? He didn’t seem like a man who responded to pleading or demands. 

He strongly held on to his beliefs. They were a system that guided him; molded him into the pain in the ass he was now. While you watched him continue to tune Nami out it was easy to see the dedication he’d given over the years to become who he was even at a young age. 

Behind all that arrogance was a determination that sliced just as sharp as his blade. Zoro knew who he was and what he needed to do to succeed, and that was more than you could say for yourself at times. 

So…who were you to get in the way of his dream?

The answer to that was as startling as a slap to the face. You were the woman who’d fallen hopelessly in love with him, and he hadn’t even realized it yet.

While you wanted to remain steadfast and devoted to the belief that Zoro had a chance and that the probability of him defeating Mihawk was high, the realistic part of you sounded like Naan. 

“Get those foolish thoughts out of your head, girl.”

For once, you wanted to swat away all of her cynicism. All of her realism forced you to fight to still believe in magic and the good in the world around you outside of science and facts. You wanted to believe that Zoro knew what he was doing and that he was strong enough to beat a grown man almost half his age. 

The other part of you, however, howled on the inside for you to stand up and go to him. To take his face in your hands and demand that he look at you and not turn away. Zoro didn’t respond to pleading, but it didn’t keep your own cries from weighing heavy on your tongue. 

Don’t do this. Stay with me. Make a new dream - with me. 

All your life Usopp and you imagined what it would be like to get off the island. To put Syrup Village behind you, all the pain and unknowns that never received answers. You could both leave on your own adventures and replace all the painful memories with ones aboard ships and the open seas of possibilities. 

You never imagined you’d meet people like Luffy or Nami. Like him. 

Looking at Zoro now as he dragged his sword over the stone one last time you felt your heart sink. Zoro had placed all three swords neatly on the table and took his time giving them adequate deadly attention. He didn’t seem bothered that you and Nami were in the room and sheltered out anything she tried to tell him. 

Nami was begging in her own way. What could you possibly say that would change his mind? She was looking at you now, as your arms wrapped so tightly around yourself - constricting the breath from your lungs making it impossible to formulate words. You were holding on so tight because you knew if you let go, you might run to him. 

“Doc-“ the sound of her calling you jolted you out of your thoughts and back into the present. Back to where you didn’t want to be. Nami was flying her eyes like a whip from you and back to Zoro as if you needed help knowing where to direct your pleas. “Is there anything you want to add here?”

Fuck 

Zoro looked up. He actually looked up from what he was doing to look at you. Shit. Did he want you to say something? Or did he just want to know if you were going to be another obstacle in his way?

“I-“  I don’t know what to say. 

What did she expect you to say? Everything you wanted to say wasn’t meant to blurt out in front of her or anyone else. You were still trying to process that you were admitting to yourself that all the feelings you felt weren’t just indigestion. That it wasn’t just the liquor from the fishbowl that made you wish you’d laced your fingers in that moss-green hair and kissed him. 

Luckily for you, Usopp came running back into the galley which told you all that Luffy was right behind him. 

“Oh great you’re here. Maybe you can convince him to call it off.” 

Zoro had gone back to examining one of his swords and making sure it was ready for the morning. He looked so deep into the edge of the katana you wanted to ask him if it was like a magic mirror and what did he see? Did he see a victory inside that blade as he polished it? Or did he see something much darker? 

“I won’t do that.”

“Did you not see the size of that guy’s sword? He will slice you into sashimi.”

“What’s going on?”

“I have been trying to figure that out for the last thirty minutes,” you huffed. 

Your words only earned you an exasperated look from Nami. 

“You were there when it happened!” She shot back, her voice incredulous. 

“And I am still struggling to comprehend how we went from zero to a thousand in less than a minute.”

You hated this entire thing. The tension radiated like a volt of electricity between all of you. One minute, you felt fine, or as fine as you could be in this situation. The next, the anxiety from Usopp or Nami would set you off or you would completely close down like the indifference Zoro was currently showing all of you. 

“I’m even more lost now,” Luffy muttered.

“I’ll tell you what’s going on. Your big, bad Marine grandpa sent a warlord of the Sea to bring you in, and instead of getting the hell out of here when he had the chance, Zoro challenged him to a duel.” 

“Which he accepted.”

“Yeah, that pretty much sums it up,” Usopp muttered to Luffy. 

Usopp looked as nervous as you felt. Your body finally removed itself from the booth in the galley to stand beside him, linking yourselves arm and arm. 

While Nami spoke, Zoro sheathed his sword and placed it back on the island. His arms extended out as he leaned his hands against it, his eyes boring a hole into Nami as she spoke. 

“You are a fly to him. Something to be swatted and forgotten.”

“Not if I win.”

“You’re not going to.”

“You don’t know that.”

Your hand fell down to grab at Usopp’s and squeezed it lightly. Big brown eyes turned to look at you and, whatever he saw reflected in yours, was enough to make him squeeze yours back. 

You knew Nami was trying to make a point. This dude was dangerous. He was a pirate warlord, for Christ's sake, but the idea of Zoro no longer existed…

No. No. You wouldn’t think it. Couldn’t. 

“Guys, guys, maybe we need more drinks,” Usopp offered. 

A part of you wanted to laugh. You could feel it bubbling up inside your chest but the wildness of it let you know it would come out panicked; a sound that displayed the current breakdown of your soul. 

No one else seemed to appreciate his attempt at lightening the mood.

“Tell your first mate he’ll get himself killed.”

“Tell your navigator to butt out.”

For once, Luffy looked lost. A look of childish uncertainty replaced the care-free nature that lived inside him. You hated seeing him so unsure, but he was the captain. He was your captain and these situations called for him to make the best decision for his crew. 

“Maybe this isn’t such a great idea, Zoro.”

“When you met me tied up on that cross, what did I say?”

Oh, no. No. You knew where he was going with this. Luffy telling you the story in this very galley came flooding back in crystal clear clarity. 

“What makes you think I wanna play pirates with you?”

“No, the other thing.”

“I kill your kind for a living?”

“No!” Zoro almost shouted the word. “Come…” A groan of frustration left him as he finally looked away from Luffy. The desire to get Luffy to remember consuming him - to remember why he needed to do this. 

And like a switch being flicked, a quiet, “Oh,” sounded beside you, and you knew Luffy remembered. 

“That you made a promise to someone a long time ago to become the world’s greatest swordsman.”

“The only way to do that is to beat Mihawk in a duel and take his title. I intend to do just that.”

The words left him in a shout. All that determination rolled into a punch of syllables directed at Nami. At you. Anyone who tried to stand in the way of fulfilling that promise he’d made so long ago. 

“Can’t you just fight him without anyone dying?”

Your voice was sheepish, so small it barely carried over a whisper. Zoro wouldn’t look at you. You’d only earned a small flick of his attention before he replaced it back on the galley’s island. 

“To be the world’s greatest swordsman only one can live. There can’t be two-“

“Why not that just seems silly-“

“Because that is just how it is!” 

He’d dismissed you without a second thought. A teacher schooling an ignorant child who wasn’t privy to how the world works. You wanted to throttle him. 

“Even if you die in the process? Will you please do something?”

It hurt to see Nami so frantic. You were used to seeing her composed and smart. Maybe her anger when someone was doing something particularly idiotic. Never broken. Not like this. 

Luffy regarded Zoro one last time and when you saw the soft smile press a hard line into his lips, you knew any chance of getting him to change Zoro’s mind was gone. 

“It’s his dream, Nami. I can’t get in the way of somebody’s dream.” 

“What if I dreamed of being eaten by a sea beast what the-“

Usopp gently tugged on your conjoined hands to get your attention. His head shaking once to tell you now wasn’t the time to make jokes or be angry. Wasn’t it? 

“What’s it going to take, huh? You want me to say you’re the best? You’re the best. Okay? You’re the best I’ve ever seen, but you are not better than him. And if you fight him tomorrow, you’re going to lose.”

Every word she spoke threatened to make your knees collapse. You didn’t know anything about Dracule Mihawk, except his apparent love for overly large things. Big sword. Big hat. Big feather for said hat. There was no denying, however, the sheer power that radiated off him as he stood there unmoving while Zoro challenged him. The fact there hadn’t even been a glimmer of worry that shifted through his eyes told you plainly he was more powerful than you could imagine. 

And Zoro wanted to fight him. To the death. That manic laughter was beginning to bubble up again in your chest and you weren’t sure if you were going to be able to keep it quiet this time. 

Zoro finished sliding his last sword home inside his sash as he asked, “Why do you even give a shit?”

“Because you are my friend, you idiot.”

“You said it yourself. You don’t have any friends.”

If this was something Nami ever spoke of, it wasn’t something she’d shared with you. Maybe it had been true before you’d all met each other, but that wasn’t true now. In that moment, it didn’t matter if she remembered you were all there or not. His words hit a scab deep inside her and pulled and picked until he ripped it open. 

Fresh blood from an old wound. 

This time you weren’t worried about accidentally saying anything. Warm fuzzy feelings were thrown to the back of your mind as your own blood thundered for you to come forward and defend her. 

“And you are acting like a Grade A asshole.” 

You released Usopp’s hand to take a step forward. You had every intention of going to her and seeing if she would allow you to stand beside her. You never got the chance. Nami’s eyes looked at each and every one of you- her supposed crew mates - just before she turned on her heel and left the room. 

Once she disappeared from sight it left only the four of you inside the galley. Luffy looked as if he was trying to process just what took place and Usopp, well, he was Usopp. He looked about as lost as you were in the grand scheme of things. 

Your eyes flashed to Zoro and found him already looking at you. His wrists hung loosely over the hilt of the sword as he regarded you. He didn’t soften as your eyes met his but seemed to harden further. A silent challenge for you to try and say something that he would only dismiss. 

“What was that?”

“I told her the truth.” 

“No,” you snarled. “You told her whatever was most convenient for you and your feelings. You want to go get yourself killed, Zoro. Fine. But don’t stand there and act like everyone is supposed to be happy about it.” 

“No one told you that you had to be here or that you were even wanted here.”

“Guys-“ Usopp interjected. 

Neither of you were listening. You could feel your eyes narrow in on him. The pain that had moments ago made it impossible to breathe now hardened into stone.  

“You better hope Mihawk kills you, Zoro because if not I’ll make you wish he had.” 

A part of you meant what you said. Your anger was a living thing at how Zoro used his words as an extension of his swords. Your skin felt like brimstone with the current of fire underneath ready to burst free and set him on fire with how fucking angry you were at him. The way he spoke to Nami. To you. And yet, underneath all that building rage was a fear so palpable you could taste the cold sweat on your tongue. 

You didn’t want to hurt him. You didn’t wish him dead. You just wanted him to admit that his ghosts screaming for battle also scared him too. Instead, you were locked in a staring contest you knew you would lose. Zoro’s eyes hardened until he was a mask; unreadable and untouchable. While you knew at any minute your regret was moments away from making itself known. 

With one final look in his direction, you turned to storm after Nami. You needed to find her and make sure she was okay. She did have friends. She wasn’t alone like she apparently thought she was. 

You rounded the corner of the galley that led to Nami’s room. Usually, you would’ve knocked or done something to announce yourself. Naan raised you to be aware of everyone’s space and it was rude just to barge in but you weren’t thinking. You were brimming with too many emotions; too many thoughts that fought to be the clearest. So, when you barged into Nami’s room an apology was already forming on your lips. 

Until you saw her standing with a bag in hand. 

“Where are you going?”

The question hung between you like something fragile. Her own throat noticeably bobbed as she swallowed around something she was going to try and sell you. 

“I was just going out-“

“Don’t lie, Nami.” You moved the rest of the way inside her room and closed the door behind you. “No one carries around an entire suitcase just because.”

Her tongue rolled around the bottom of her lip before she turned away from you. You took note that she was still holding onto her suitcase. She wasn’t going to drop it, which meant however this went she planned on still leaving. 

You didn’t want another Zoro-style fight where insults were thrown to prove points or make someone hate you into letting them go. When she turned back to look at you, all the emotion was stripped from her and you prepared yourself for a fight. 

“Are you going to tell Luffy?”

A sigh pressed past your lips as you shrugged. 

“What am I going to tell him, Nami? You left because you got into an argument and someone said something you didn’t like?”

“Like I give a shit what Zoro or any of you think.”

“Is that why you’re worried I’m going to run and tell Luffy you’re leaving? Make it make sense.”

She turned on her heel and walked back over to a drawer she’d left slightly open. Her hand pushed it back hard before she turned back to face you. The hand that held her suitcase dropped unceremoniously on the floor. 

“I need to leave.”

“Why? Nami, If this is about what Zoro said you know it’s not true.”

“Who are you kidding, Doc? We never chose to be a crew. We were all thrust together by circumstances and just stayed together.”

“Usopp and I chose you guys.”

Hollow laughter escaped her like she couldn’t believe you’d claim this madhouse of a crew. Or maybe the joke was on you, and you just couldn’t see you were the butt of the joke. 

“You don’t get it-“

“Help me understand!”

“I had a job to do before I met Luffy. I completed it and I need to get back.”

“If that was true you would’ve left a long time ago.”

“Ugh, what is it with you? Why can’t you just accept that I’m leaving?”

“Because I don’t think you really want to go back,” you replied, cutting her off. 

The two of you stood there in a silent face-off. Deep down, you both knew that you were right. There were plenty of opportunities for her to leave and go back to whatever life she had waiting for her, but she’d stayed. Maybe it was because of convenience, at first, but somewhere along the line, it changed. 

Nami was happy being a straw hat. Whatever life she had previously was one she’d continue to run away from if she could, but something was calling her back. Whether it was family. Friends. Work. You would never know unless she told you. 

“What makes you so sure?”

“People who want to sneak away in the night don’t stay up showing a small town village girl maps they created in hopes of drawing a map of the world one day.” 

It was only a few nights ago when she had done it. You’d been unable to sleep. Your stomach was tossing like the waves outside the ship. You’d tried to make a tea to ease your stomach and it had failed miserably. Nami had found you curled up becoming one with the galley’s kitchen and gently peeled you from the table. In the very corner she stood in is where she’d sat with you under the light of a lamp and showed you every map she’d ever drawn.

“That’s just a dream, Doc.”

“It’s a good dream.”

She shook her head, her hand outstretched to take back the suitcase she'd discarded. 

“Dreams are just fairy tales for adults. It’s better if you get used to disappointment now than later.”

You wanted to reach out and grab her as she moved past you towards the door. You still had time to do it. To shake her - yell at her - that they didn’t hold the commodity on pain or a shitty life. Maybe you would never know what it was that Nami lost. She may never want to share with you that story of her life, and that was fine. You just wanted her to know she didn’t have to keep running. That you would help keep her dreams alive and safe as long as she wanted them. 

When you turned to follow her you found the door wide open and Nami gone. You could’ve chased after her, but it would only cause a scene. She’d made it clear she’d meant to run in secret - you finding out was an unexpected accident. A part of you wanted to tell Luffy so you could both go charging after her and make her come back, but Luffy would never make anyone do something they didn’t want to do. 

How could it be in less than a day everything had gone to shit? Zoro was so eager to die and Nami…Nami was just gone. With one last look around her room, you moved to sit in the chair she’d been in earlier. The sound of her laughing as you tried on clothes brought the ghost of a smile to your lips and you wondered if you’d ever get to hear it again. 

The Going Merry felt like a ghost ship. 

Somewhere in the bridge, you were aware Usopp had run to hide there as the after-hours of fun began to take its toll. Luffy disappeared outside the ship and you wondered if anyone had noticed yet that the ship was one straw hat less. 

You’d been sitting inside Nami’s room since she left, unable to leave just in case she’d changed her mind and came back. You wondered how long you could wait here before reality forced you to face it that the small family you’d chosen was falling apart. 

Not much longer if the rising hues of the sun’s blood-orange tint on the night sky had anything to say about it. 

With one last glance around the room, you headed back out onto the bridge. You didn’t know where to go. You didn’t feel like playing nursemaid, though you were sure Usopp would’ve appreciated the help, and you didn’t think you could keep quiet about a missing orange-haired girl if Luffy asked where she was. 

You were starting to feel your own hangover begin to creep in and one thing was for certain, you were going to need some coffee. 

Your footsteps sounded loud against the wood. The sound only reminds you of how empty the Merry had become. You pushed through the galley’s French doors and found yourself walking into a Zoro deep in meditation. It was something he usually did in the confines of his room sandwiched between his crates of rum and the small window that looked port side. You’d only ever seen him do it once on the stern of the ship in the early morning when no one was around. 

Not that you were staring or watching or anything.

All three of his swords were set on the hanging baby blue table in front of the window seat where he now sat. His bandana was secured to his head about as tightly as his arms were to his chest. His eyes were still closed and you thought, maybe you’d be lucky enough to turn around and run back to the bridge. You’d take your chances with Luffy. 

“If you’ve come to talk me out of the duel I’ll tell you right now. You’ll just be wasting your time.”

He growled out the words from somewhere deep in his chest. It croaked in places as if he’d been asleep and your presence had woken him. Zoro hadn’t opened his eyes yet, but he didn’t need to see to know you were there. 

You’d come stomping in like a person ready to perform a verbal battle when all you wanted was some coffee and a little bit of calm before…

“I came for coffee not to tell you how much of an inconsiderate asshole you’re being.” 

That got his eyes to open and focus on you. You only spared him a moment before you made your way to the cupboards. You were just going to focus on getting a cup and what you needed to make your coffee. You weren’t going to acknowledge him.

Even as you reached the cabinets and started searching for the kettle, you could feel his eyes boring between your shoulders. It forced an irritation to set fire in your chest and that only seemed to grow worse until your hands were squeezing the iron of the handles. At any moment, you expected to see blood dripping from your palms. 

You let out a deep breath and tried to push away all the things you wanted to say. To scream at him. You found the kettle and focused on filling it up and turning on the stove because if you didn’t you would start yelling at him about how maddening he was. It was a good thing you had to look for the coffee grounds to steep them or else you would’ve burst with how petty he was; the bitchest man alive. 

If it wasn’t for making your damn coffee you would’ve crumbled into a sobbing mess as you struggled to find the words to make him stay. You were doing a pretty good job at ignoring him, but of course, Zoro could never just leave it alone. He always had to poke and prod and- 

“You seem to be struggling with that coffee.”

“And why does it matter to you? Are you suddenly in the mood to be caffeinated?”

“Just wondering how long it’s going to take for you to finish and get the hell out of the galley.” 

“Okay, that’s enough! Enough, Zoro!”

You hated how your voice betrayed you. The way it broke as his name left your lips. What you hated more was how he responded to the exact sound as it touched his ears. His body language was still rigid but he sat up straighter. His arms dropped down from his body to sit in his lap. 

“I get that this means something important to you. It’s a lifelong goal and you want to accomplish it, but how can you expect to accomplish anything when you push people away.” 

“I’ve accomplished plenty on my own before I ever meet any of you.”

“That’s fantastic. Great for you,” you shot back, your voice dripping with sarcasm. “What I’m saying is, you don’t have to do everything alone anymore. We are all here for you-“

“Why do you even care? What was it you said, that I better hope Mihawk kills me or I’m going to wish he had.”

You knew saying that would come back to haunt you. How many times had Naan told you speaking out of anger never made a situation better? Zoro thought you’d said it because you hated him to the point you hoped he’d lose. 

“I only said that because you are being an ass.”

“I didn’t know you hated me enough to hope I died.”

“I don’t hate you, Zoro! And the last thing I want is to see you get hurt or worse fucking die. Why can’t you see what it would do to the people who care about you? Why can’t you see that I like you, you idiot!”

The words stumbled out before you could catch them. Your chest felt like it was on the verge of collapsing while your lungs refused to release the breath it held captive. It felt like a lifetime passed between the two of you, and yet you knew it was only seconds. It was long enough for the sting of tears to crown your eyes as you waited for Zoro to do something. Anything. 

What made it worse was how unmoved he appeared by your confession. Your words didn’t seem to cause any reaction from him other than his usual empty stare. The cool look of emotionless stone replaced the teasing sparks of mischief that gleamed in his eyes or the smiles that warmed his face when he was surrounded by his crew. 

You would’ve given anything for any emotion besides the empty reply you received.

“You don’t even know me.” 

“I want to know you, really know you, but first, I need the chance to do that. I can’t do that if you’re dead.”

“I’m not going to lose.”

“You don’t know that!”

“It’s obvious that you don’t believe in me. Like Nami. You both think I can’t do it.”

“Oh my god, Zoro - enough! We are just worried for you. We give a shit about you still being alive. I want to be able to wake up and hear your grumpy ass voice or find you drinking on the stern. I want to be able to have conversations with you while you begrudgingly go with me to forge ingredients and put flowers in my hair. I want to see you look at me the way you did standing alone on the Merry like you did tonight.” You took in a shaky breath as you took a cautious step toward his seated position. “You have infuriatingly crawled your way inside my bones, Roronoa Zoro, and have taken hold. I don’t want to know what life is like without you.”

Your breathing was fast and shaky as if you'd been running. It didn’t matter that the tears you’d struggled to contain fell freely down your cheeks or that your chest heaved, ready to cave in at any moment. 

You were vaguely aware of the Sun beginning to peak its way inside the windows. The timer on what could possibly be the last time you were with Zoro coming to an end. Maybe that was why when he moved to stand you allowed yourself to hope. You let yourself believe maybe your admission meant enough to make him stay, but you watched as he silently slid each katana into their holsters on his sash and it felt like the ground opened up and swallowed you whole. 

“Why can’t you just admit you have feelings for me?”

It was true that you didn’t know much about the world or how it works. You’d never been out of the village. Never had many friends outside of Usopp. The boys in the village are always ridiculous or sometimes cruel or just too stupid to look at. You imagined you had to be broken since all you’d cared about was becoming the greatest doctor you could be. So, maybe you’d read into the small glances too much or the way when you almost fell and he’d secured you close to him with his chin dipping into your neck. It was subtle but you felt it. 

People didn’t just do that when they didn’t like someone, did they?

Once he’d made sure everything was secured inside his sash, Zoro came around the table and walked until he stood beside you. He wouldn’t look at you and just kept looking at the battle ahead because now the sun had risen and he had a promise to fulfill. 

“I don’t give a shit about you.” His words stabbed into your chest and twisted. It felt worse than anything you’d ever felt; a storm cloud of emotions that darkened your mind. But underneath that, you could hear the tremor in his own voice as he forced himself to tell you. “You’re just another one of Luffy’s little add-ons to an already big enough freak show of a crew.”

“Why are you so scared to give a shit?”

“Scared of what?” This time when he snapped it whipped his head to look at you. The soft touch of his eyes hardened into something wild and desperate. “Of you?”

“Either you’re scared or you are a coward. Only someone who’s a coward can’t admit to the truth.”

“Or maybe you’re just delusional.”

Maybe you were. You didn’t know how the world worked. How people worked. You’d traveled into uncharted territory when Zoro began to worm his way inside your brain and hold your heart hostage. It was possible you’d only seen what you’d hoped to see. 

His jaw ticked to whatever irritated thought he had while he looked at you. You expected him to say something else. To finally tear you completely down until there was nothing left. Instead, he turned away from you and started towards the galley’s French doors dismissing you completely. 

You listened as he pushed through with the soft sound of the doors swinging on their hinges filling the space. You weren’t going to follow. You couldn’t watch him walk out knowing he may never come back. 

It felt like an eternity passed before you heard the first clash of blades outside the Merry. You were still standing where Zoro had left you. Unable to move, at first, in case you take that move forward and restart time. As if you had the ability to keep it suspended and him safe. 

It wasn’t until that ringing of metal scraping against metal resonated inside the wood of the Merry that your body jerked back into the present. You already knew Luffy would be there with Zoro; believing in him and cheering him on. Usopp too simply because he knew the power of what support could do for someone. 

And Nami…

Nami had to be long gone by now and you? You were here cowering inside the safety of a vessel so you didn’t have to see. The sound of a body colliding into the dock gave yours a jolt. 

Sure, Zoro had ripped out your heart after you’d admitted what you hadn’t been able to admit to yourself. You’d done it, selfishly, in hopes that it would keep him in the confines of the safety of the ship, but that wasn’t Zoro. 

He wasn’t about safety and backing down from anything. From the moment you’d met him, you’d seen the dedication he held when it came to his ability to fight. The fire drove him to consume and lay waste to those who stood in his way, but underneath the harshness of the fire laid something soft. He’d defended that little girl in the bar. He stood up for those who preyed on villages and mercilessly attacked women and children.

For all the drinking and hard-headed idiotic things Zoro could do he was one of the best men you’d ever meet. There wasn’t anything that Zoro hadn’t proved he could do. So, why couldn’t it be possible for him to beat Mihawk? 

With your mind decided, you pushed your back off the island counter and took off running at full speed. You would support him no matter what was shared between you. Zoro deserved it: he deserved to be believed in. 

You were going up and over the stairs to take the ramp down to the dock when you saw Mihawk stab something small into his chest. You could feel your knees buckle. The way your body went limp and forced your legs to collapse in on themselves as they smashed into the wood of the ramp. 

Zoro’s arms were spread out in Y shape. The edges of his swords barely missed the arm’s of Mihawk, the handles of his swords touching the design on his trench. He was close, but not close enough to do any damage and not far enough away from the small blade that Mihawk embedded deep in his chest. 

“No.”

Your denial came out in a hush and was carried away by the wind. 

Mihawk told him something. Maybe about retreating and forfeiting the match to save his life. It was enough to radiate rage through Zoro’s body and hardened his eyes with determination. 

Zoro would never run. It wasn’t in his character. 

Out of the corner of your eye, you watched Nami approach the dock. She came to stand between Luffy and Usopp and for a split moment, everything felt like it was going to be okay. Nami was back. The universe was working on fixing all the wrongs that happened in the last few hours.

Mihawk pulled the small blade from out of his chest and you watched as Zoro stumbled back. His swords helped him to stand back up on his feet to face him. 

“I’ll do you the honor of killing you with Yoru.”

No. No. 

The word almost clawed its way out of your throat. A possession so deep to halt time ached through your veins until you thought it was almost possible to do it. As if the very fabric of the air would rip open at any minute just to save him. 

You couldn’t miss the satisfied smirk that curled Zoro’s lips. 

“Now that’s more like it.” 

You watched as he unsheathed the Wado Ichimonji and brought it up to his mouth. His body stood straighter as he connected the two swords as one and began to spin them. You’d seen him fight plenty of times with just the two swords. The sheer strength he had just using them didn’t seem to compare to anyone else. You’d seen him use his three-sword style only once before and nothing compared to the sheer strength and speed that came from him placing that blade between his teeth. 

Hope blossomed in your chest as you watched him spin the swords. His body took off moments later as Mihawk moved to rush forward, meeting him in a clash that rattled like thunder from the impact. Zoro came to a sliding stop just feet in front of you. His swords still lifted up to deflect the blow from Mihawk’s blade before they crumbled to pieces in front of him.

Zoro locked eyes with you, your body mimicking his, as he removed the Wado Ichimonji from between his teeth. You could feel fresh tears streaming down your cheeks turning your vision blurry. With his eyes locked on you, he used it to help him get to his feet. 

If your voice would’ve worked you would’ve told him to stop. That he didn’t need to turn around but you knew he would. This was Zoro. The most infuriating man on the planet and honored bound to his beliefs. You clamored to get to your feet. To run to him to try and keep him from turning to face Mihawk. 

He must have seen it on your face. You were probably doing a terrible job of keeping your thoughts off your face. All the panic. 

A soft smile slid across his lips. It wasn’t big enough to crack his lips or show teeth. It never reached his eyes, but it didn’t have to. It was a smile just meant for you. His way of telling you it was alright; to soothe you before the final blow came.  

For one last fleeting moment, you looked at one another and you imagined yourselves back inside the ship. Zoro sitting in his hammock being his usual broody self while you clean up the wound on his chest. You could practically hear him mumbling some shit about you not being gentle against the lip of a newly opened bottle of rum. 

It felt so real that, for a split second, you thought it was. You’d been so caught up in your own daydream that you hadn’t realized he’d turned his back on you. Now he was facing Mihawk his arms spread open wide giving him a perfect kill shot of his chest. 

“Wounds on the back are a swordsman's greatest shame.”

“Magnificent.”

In one swift motion, you watched as Mihawk sliced through the air with his blade cutting perfectly through Zoro’s chest. 

“NO!”

This time you did find your voice and it was unhinged. All that panic you pushed to the side and all that hope you’d allowed yourself to blindly follow came crashing down like a wave. It strangled every last bit of feeling until all that was left was the crushing weight of despair. You were aware that Luffy was there at his side. You could hear him calling out to Zoro with his hands pressed at his body. 

You were sprinting down the last of the ramp and onto the dock. You couldn’t remember bending down to be at his side but your eyes could see him. It was Zoro but not the Zoro you were used to. 

Already he was turning ghostly pale as the wound continued to bleed. We have to stop the bleeding. There was so much blood and he was in so much pain. The wound Mihawk created went from the left shoulder down to the beginning of his sash. It was massive. Zoro’s breathing was shaky and would quiet down until you weren’t even sure if he was even taking in a full breath. 

You reached over to feel his pulse. It weakly flutters against your ring and middle finger as you press down. When you pulled away you noticed your forearm streaked with blood. 

“Monkey D. Luffy - what is your goal?”

“I’m going to become King of the Pirates.”

“King of the Pirates, eh? That’s a much more treacherous path than even defeating me.”

“I don’t care.” Luffy looked back at Mihawk. His usual determination in his voice, but it missed the warmth and it trembled with each word. Whether it was from anger or sadness you would never know. “It’s what I am going to do.”

“Hmm. Maybe you will at that. This world could use a few more wild cards. Roronoa Zoro, It’s too soon for you to die. Grow strong and come find me. I’ll be waiting.” 

You wanted to scream at him to go to hell. You wished you could send him there yourself, but Zoro was still alert. He was fighting and that meant maybe it was his fate to be the one to send the big feathered asshole there himself. 

You wanted to tell him that. To make a joke. You owed him the one about the Marine and the Pirate walking into a bar. You just couldn’t bring yourself to speak. Your hands were trembling violently every time you moved them to try and touch him. So, you clenched them down and kept them pressed into your thighs. 

Usopp came to kneel beside Luffy and Nami slowly made her way to stand next to you. 

“He’s losing so much blood. Doc, what should we do?”

What should we do? 

What were you supposed to tell them? You were the doctor. Their doctor. It’s why Luffy had asked you to join. It was your job to heal them and keep them well. 

Doc, what should we do? 

You should know the answer. You should be the one ordering them around and telling them what to bring you to start staunching the wound. 

“He’s gonna be okay. Hey Zoro, can you hear me? He said it was too soon for you to die.”

“Luffy-“

Fuck. Zoro sounded so weak. All the broody, snarky asshole comments that he’d made were full of life. Each word was rich with the baritone of his voice that dripped down your skin like honey. That same voice now barely rose above a whisper.  

“If I fail to become the world’s greatest swordsman…you’ll be disappointed. Right?”

Each word came out strained. With each breath, he fought to take through the gash in his chest. 

“You could never fail me.”

Zoro opened his eyes and looked over at his Captain. The pain began to make tears spring into his eyes and run down the corners. 

“Never. Again. From now until I beat him.” A grunt of pain burst from his mouth as he grabbed his body to the hilt of the Wado Ichimonji and lifted it up to the sky. His free hand covered his face as if he was ashamed. “To become the world's greatest swordsman I will never lose again!”

Zoro swore it with such conviction you expected him to stand up at any moment and walk himself back to the Merry. Your assessment was wrong, however, when he suddenly went limp with the sword and his arm crashing down against the dock. 

“Zoro?”

This time he was unresponsive. The blood pooling around his middle and seeping into the front of his gi blossomed into a flower that grew ever brighter with each passing second. 

“Doc!” Usopp shouted. It was enough to finally tear your eyes away from Zoro and focus on something else. “What do we do? You’re the doctor here.”

“Right.” The word came out in a huff through your nose. 

Your eyes scanned the scene that was laid out in front of you. It was time to be scientific about this. To focus on what was fixable in front of you and to put whatever feelings you had to the side. 

Why did that feel easier said than done?

They were still waiting for you to direct them. Six pairs of eyes equally as lost as you waiting for direction on how to save their crew mate -  their friend - in front of them. Your tongue lashed out to nervously wet your bottom lip as you scrambled to your feet. 

“We - we need to move him back to the ship. We have to stop the bleeding.”

“Okay, right good call, Doc,” Luffy offered as you all scrambled to grab a limb. 

“Just make sure that when we lift him we do it carefully-“

Luffy and Usopp didn’t wait for you and Nami to grab a hold of either leg. They just lifted and his legs flopped against the deck. 

“Jesus, she said to do it together and carefully!” Nami snapped. 

“I’m sorry I’m just nervous.”

Usopp was obviously as panicked as you. 

“It’s alright, let's just grab him and get him back to the Merry.” 

The four of you grabbed a hold of Zoro and this time smoothly picked him up. Luffy and Usopp carried his upper body and thank god he did. You weren’t expecting him to feel like you were trying to carry a sea cow. Scratch that. It felt like you were trying to carry a sea beast. 

The first steps you took were good, but by the time you started making it up the ramp back into the Merry, you were all struggling not to drop your end. 

“Easy! Easy! Jesus, be careful!”

Nami instructed the boys - mostly Usopp - as they took the last step down onto the bridge. 

“Guys. I don’t know how much longer I’ll be able to hold my end,” Usopp grunted. 

“We are almost there, Usopp. Just hold on.” 

“I’m trying but this guy is really heavy.”

To prove his point, Usopp started shuffling backward quicker than you expected. He shoved his shoulder into the double doors of the galley forcing you all to catch up with him. The movement causes you and Nami to bump into one another as you each hold on to one of his legs. 

“Easy. Don’t drop him!”

“I didn’t. He’s just heavy. I mean, he’s got a really big head. It’s, like, freakishly big.”

“Now is not the time, Usopp,” you grunted as you all moved to set him down on the island. 

“What does that have to do with anything?” 

The question came from Nami as she made her way around the galley’s kitchen. She was searching through cupboards at a furious rate and you didn’t have to ask what it was she was searching for. She’d heard you loud and clear about needing to stop the bleeding. You had some clean linens that were stashed inside your room. You should’ve gone for them, but suddenly, seeing Zoro lifeless on the island of the galley…you couldn’t recall any of your training. 

“Zoro? Hey, can you hear me?”

Luffy’s soft question was drowned out by Usopp asking where the first aid kit was. 

“Why would we need a first aid kit when we have a doctor?” Nami shot back. 

“That’s right. Doc, what are we doing?”

They were looking to you to direct them. You are the doctor. This was your time to shine to be able to prove that you were worth the space Luffy had offered you. So, why couldn’t you move? Your brain was moving at a thousand miles a minute and yet every time it landed on free space it came up empty. If it wasn’t empty, it was screaming that Zoro was dying and you weren’t going to be able to save him. 

Nami returned to the head of Zoro and was holding it in place. You weren’t sure why. The wound was on his chest. Usopp was now thrashing around the room looking for rags. 

“Doc!” 

This time Nami smacked your arm to get your attention. Your feet moved of their own accord to the edge of the island as you reached out and started peeling back the soaked fabric of his shirt. 

There have been times when you were daydreaming in the privacy of your room that you imagined peeling back Zoro’s shirt just like this. To expose the taut muscles underneath. In all of your daydreams, it was never like this. Not like this. 

A sharp hiss of air cut through your teeth as you exposed the large gash to the room. It was approximately two - almost three inches in width. The first and second layer of skin was severed leaving the third exposed and dangerously close to opening it to severe infection. 

“These towels are all I could find. Where’s he bleeding from?”

“Everywhere.”

“Nami, I need you to add pressure with the towels. I have to run to my room and get some supplies.” 

“Ok, but Doc hurry.” 

Asking for speed felt like an understatement. There wasn’t a soul alive inside that ship who didn’t realize that Zoro was beginning to show fewer and fewer signs of breathing. His skin was taking on a grayish tone like a corpse making his green hair look sickly against the grotesque hue. 

You didn’t bother telling her you knew he was dying. You just needed out of that room. 

Your feet carried you out of memory to your room which sat directly across the hall from Zoro. How many times had you gone to go inside your own room and paused, considering knocking on his just to see him leaning against his open door? The thought of never having the chance to make it a reality spurred you inside your room. 

You knew you were going to need thread and a good stitching needle to close the wound. What you really needed was something to fight infection both outwardly and inward. The tonic would have to wait. Without further thought, your hands started going through every jar that held a gathered plant and salves you’d previously made. What you needed was the same Chiterra you’d used on Zeff mere hours ago. It’d been left inside your satchel. 

You ran to its place sat on your bed and upended the bag onto the mattress. Your hands flung everything off until you came to the jade-green bottle and held it up to the light. You didn’t need the sunlight to tell you there wasn’t enough in the bottle. You’d applied most of it on Zeff. 

With a scream, you hurled the bottle against the wall. All that panic was turning to rage and you couldn’t keep it bottled in. You went to grab the things you did have and noticed on the small desk in the corner the snowdrop Zoro had placed behind your ear. 

Suddenly, you were standing back inside that forest. The feeling of his fingertips gliding over your ear as he deposited the flower, hand lingering longer than it should’ve. There was no mistaking the way he looked at you then was the same way he’d looked at you on the deck. The same way he’d looked at you seconds before Mihawk and tried to slice him in half. 

No. Zoro wasn’t going to die today. 

Grabbing what you had, you rushed back out of your room and to the galley. 

“We need to go to the Baratie and ask if they have any supplies.”

“What are you talking about?” Nami asked, flabbergasted. “How do you not have the supplies?”

“I used most of it last night, mending Zeff.” 

“Why the hell were you doing that?!”

“It was to help, Luffy-“You took a deep breath and pressed your hands out, as if it was going to push all the panic you’d pressed down from climbing back up again. “It doesn’t matter now. Luffy, can you go to Baratie?”

“I’m not really hungry right now, Doc.”

“Luffy, no-“ deep breath. Breathe. “I need something that is able to fight an infection. Something we can put on the skin.”

“Right! Right, I can do that!”

Luffy looked over Zoro’s body one last time before he sprinted out of the kitchen. It left the three of you waiting there until he returned but you were done with waiting. You were a doctor and it was about damn time you acted like one. 

If only you could get your hands to stop shaking. 

“Usopp, I need you to take this needle over to the stove and sterilize it for me, please.” 

“I’m on it, Doc.”

“What do you need me to do?”

Nami patiently waited to take whatever direction you would give her. You were sure if you told her to bring you fifty buckets of seawater she would do it without question. 

“Just go back up towards his head and talk to him. I’m going to sew up the wound and, well, it’s not going to feel too great.”

“Okay. I can do that.”

You both went to move around the other to get into position when you lightly grabbed her arm in passing. She turned to you with eyes too wide to be anything else but shocked and you wondered if you mirrored her expression. 

“Thank you for coming back.” 

You weren’t sure why you needed to tell her that, especially at a time like this, but you meant it. No matter what was happening right now, Nami had proven to be the sister you’d never had. Without her here now you might have been lost. 

You let your hand fall away as you came to the side of Zoro and began to unravel the thread. You had most of it unraveled when Usopp showed up beside you and handed over a very sterile needle. You threaded the black thread through the stitching needle and decided to start working on the smallest area. 

Maybe by the time you finished with it the tremors in your hands might have disappeared. 

Luffy arrived back from Baratie with Zeff and Sanji in tow. All three of them walked in just as you finished the last crisscross of stitching on Zoro’s chest. 

“Oy, I was wondering why he was asking for me,” Zeff huffed as he came around the opposite side of the island. “I could’ve sworn you said you were a doctor.”

“I am. I just don’t have anything to put over the wounds to support healing or to keep them from getting infected. I asked Luffy to go in case you did.” 

Sanji set down a basket on the island and you couldn’t keep your brow from quirking up in question. 

“Are we having a picnic?”

“Very cute, smart ass,” Zeff shot back. “Yellowtail skin is known to have enzymes in the skin that staunch the wounds and speed up the healing process.” 

As he explained it all to you, Sanji unrolled a set of very sharp-looking knives and handed the second largest to Zeff. Right after he unrolled the yellowtail from its wrapping and held it out for the older man to take. 

Zeff stroked the fish in appreciation before he began to cut it. Once the head was removed and he sliced it in half, you all watched as he carefully thinly sliced the yellowtail’s skin in sections. Each section of the fish was cut and placed on a plate until the entire fish was flayed. When he finished with the last slice, Zeff motioned for someone to grab the plate as he made his way around to join you on your side of the island.

“It’s my turn to teach you a little something, girl.” 

You wouldn’t deny that you didn’t know about yellowtail skin being able to do any of this. As you watched Zeff carefully layer it over your stitch work, you wondered if Naan was even aware of it. 

“Is he going to be okay?”

Usopp’s question was so soft you wondered if he’d even spoken. His eyes, like the rest of you, all focused on the motionless body of your crew mate. 

“I’m not going to lie to you. He’s lost a lot of blood. I’m sure your doctor can even tell you that. It might be too late for him.”

“But it might not be.” 

Luffy wasn’t going to give up on Zoro. He refused to think of any possibilities where Zoro didn’t wake up. You wish you shared the same belief as him. That Zeff’s words didn’t sit heavily in your thoughts because it was the same one you had.

“He’s got one foot in each world right now, caught between life and death. You have to find a way to keep him tethered to our world. Talk to him. Tell him stories. Sing him sea shanties for all I care. He may not reply, but at least he’ll know his crew is still with him.” 

“That’s ridiculous,” you scoffed. “Singing lovely little tunes isn’t going to save anybody.” 

“It’s not about science or what’s up here,” Zeff replied, a thick finger poking you dead between the eyes. “Sometimes it’s the heart of the matter that saves people.” 

Naan would’ve hollered about Zeff being the biggest idiot she’d ever met if she’d heard one word of that. A part of you wanted to ask if he could tell by the look he gave you. 

“We need to wrap him.”

“God, does that mean we gotta hold him up again?” Usopp whined. 

“Yes,” you shot back. “Usopp it does mean I need you guys to help hold him up.”

“I can help you. If you like.”

Sanji stepped around Zeff to come to your side. All his earlier flirting was replaced by the genuine desire to help. You were sure if Zoro knew Sanji had helped him in any way he would implode, but beggars couldn’t be choosers. 

“Sure. I would appreciate it. Thank you, Sanji.” 

You waited on bated breath to hear a cheesy pick-up line and found yourself coming up empty. You got your wraps ready as you motioned for Sanji to lift him and when you finished, Nami offered to let Zoro stay in her room. You didn’t help carry him inside and figured it was only a few short feet from the galley to her room. 

You needed air. You needed rum. You still needed to go fix up your room. 

The only thing you did was the first on that list. 

You’d found yourself standing on the stern of the ship. Your arms hung over the railing as you took in the endless blue that surrounded you and the last few stragglers of ships remaining from the night before. You tried to let your mind relax by wondering who was on those ships; the stories Usopp could create would either leave you in wonder or hysterics. 

That was what you really wanted. Your best friend to tell you a story as far-fetched as the one you’d all been a part of in less than twenty-four hours. You went to remove yourself from the rail when Luffy appeared beside you. His eyes scanned out over everything before him before he turned to smile at you. 

“Hey, Doc.”

“Hey Luffy. Everything alright?”

He still looked shaken by everything that had happened. The smile he’d tried to plaster on his face while Zoro was still conscious on the dock was replaced now with something you never thought you’d see: fear. 

Monkey D. Luffy was afraid. You wanted to reach out and hug him. To remind him that life came with no playbook and you were all just fumbling around trying to make the best decisions without ever knowing the outcomes. 

“Yeah. No. Maybe Nami was right and I should’ve tried harder to stop Zoro.”

“Luffy, Zoro was always going to do what he wanted. I don’t think you telling him not to do it would’ve mattered. What he wanted to know was that you were in his corner believing he could do it. You did the right thing as a Captain. As a friend.”

As the words left you, you knew every single one of them was true. The stubborn idiot was going to go out and do this duel no matter what. It’s what he’d trained himself to do and why he continued to train. Who were any of you to tell him all of that was for nothing? 

While Luffy listened and filtered your words through his head, you could see the small worry lines that had creased his forehead begin to ease. The darkness behind his eyes lightened just enough that you could feel his sunshine beginning to peek through the storm. 

“I’m always going to be in every one of your corners because you guys are in mine.” 

You tried to give him a weak smile. Something that could equal the one he’d given you. You could feel it falling flat and decided it was safer to look back over the side of the Merry or at your hands. 

It was a mistake. How you’d missed the blood - Zoro’s blood - that had caked on your fingers and between them was beyond you. Instantly, you felt like you needed to bathe. To scrub your skin raw before it leaves a deeper imprint like an unwanted tattoo. 

Luffy must have noticed your panic because he moved closer to you, shoulder to shoulder, and gently reached out to stop you from scratching through your skin. 

“Why are you out here, Doc?”

His question was light. Soft. A whisper that forced you to hang your head before a flood of emotion threatened to burst from the dam in your chest. 

“I should’ve believed in him more, like you do. I should’ve shown him or had more faith in who he is.”

“The Demon Pirate Hunter?”

That did make a snort of a laugh leave you as you looked up at Luffy. 

“Your first mate.”

You were surprised when Luffy suddenly wrapped a long arm around you and pulled you into a tight hug. You thought you were going to have to tap out and tell him it was too much. Damn, could he give a good hug. But you didn’t. You wrapped an arm around his waist and allowed yourself to be consumed for just a little while by sunshine. 

“You did an amazing job today, Doc.” 

You pressed a scoff into his chest before you pushed away and secured yourself back over the railing. 

“That’s really sweet Luffy, but no I didn't. I was sloppy. Unprepared. My response time was shit.” Your delay in helping Zoro could be what cost him his life. You didn’t want to say it out loud. The guilt - shame - of that hard fact sat like stones in your gut. “If Naan were here she’d have my ass.”

“But you saved him.”

Luffy looked so confused and you weren’t sure you wanted to explain it to him. He believed in you more than you believe in yourself. 

“No. All I did was make him comfortable if he died.” 

It felt like you were speaking through molasses. The idea of him dying filled your body with such raw grief it threatened to topple you over. 

“That’s not true.”

It was true, and Naan would’ve used this moment as another one of her hard lessons. One just to prove why getting attached to others was never good for a healer. Everything she’d ever taught you had gone right out the window as you watched Zoro fall. All the training and knowledge wasted as you acted like a lovesick girl and not the one who maybe could’ve saved him if she hadn’t been so lost in her head. 

No. You weren’t who Luffy thought you were or who you’d even thought you were. You should’ve stocked up on ingredients more. Noted all the tools you were missing and got them instead of worrying about a world full of promise and adventure. 

“I’m going to go wash up, Luffy. I’ll see you in a bit.”

“Make sure you stop in to see Zoro, Doc. I know he’d like to hear from you.” 

You didn’t know what to say. Would he want to see someone who selfishly tried to keep him from being who he was? You could still hear the last conversation playing in your head. The way his voice cracked just enough to notice. 

“I’ll be sure to do that.”

You didn’t mean it. You weren’t sure if you could face him but another part of you wondered if the last memory you wanted to carry of him was him lying bleeding on Baratie’s dock. 

The bath had been scolding hot and your skin was still slightly red from how furiously you’d scrubbed it. You’d had no intention of going in to see Zoro. 

Not yet. 

But as you left your room you heard Nami’s voice raise and you bolted toward the sound. What if something was happening to Zoro? Instead of the possibility of you going into doctor mode, you noticed it was yelling of a different kind.

“And I would like it if Zoro wasn’t dying in my bed!”

No! Not dying…

You came shooting around the corner and into the room. Your eyes take in a small-looking Luffy as Nami stands on the opposite side of where Zoro lies. Her eyes were piercing and sharp and full of anger directed solely at your captain. 

“I can’t get in the way of someone’s dream, Nami.”

“What’s going on here?”

Nami’s gaze moved over to you and it made you want to stop in your tracks. It felt like she was almost blaming you for the dying friend in her bed. 

“Nothing. I was just leaving.”

“Again?” 

The word came out before you could stop it. The irritation sparked from her in waves. You hadn’t meant to say it but you were too emotionally exhausted to care. 

“Again?” Luffy asked, visibly lost. 

“It's nothing,” Nami quickly dismissed your words as she set down the book she’d been reading. “Just a slip of the tongue. Right, Doc?”

She wasn’t giving you time to answer her because she wasn’t trying to have more conversation. Not with you and definitely not with Luffy. Somehow, you’d both ended up in the shit yard. 

You turned to watch her retreat and didn’t take one step forward until you were sure she was gone. You reached out to Luffy and touched his arm briefly before you dropped it back down to your side. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah, I just-“ 

He was back to looking lost. His eyes searched for answers ingrained in the wood of the ship and coming up short. He looked up at Zoro still lying motionless in bed and turned in your direction. 

“I’m going to get the Wado Itchy Monkey ready for him when he wakes up.” 

“Itchy monkey?”

“His sword.”

Now this was the Luffy you knew. It wasn’t as cheerful as it should’ve been but you would take this smile over the wounded look any day. 

“Oh, right. The Itchy Monkey.”

You hoped somehow Zoro could hear this and was screaming. 

“Do you want to come with me? I think Sanji is also with Usopp in the galley cooking something. If you want to eat.”

“Maybe later. I need to do an assessment first.”

“Oh, yeah. Let us know how it goes.”

“You got it, Captain.” 

“Why do you call me that?”

“Call you what? 

“Captain. No one else does.”

His question took you back. Was there something else he wanted to be referred to instead of Captain? He’d seemed to make it pretty clear his dream wasn’t just finding the One Piece, but having a crew all his own. 

“Uhm, because you’re my Captain and that is false. Usopp does say it…sometimes. In between calling himself Captain Usopp.” 

You waited to see that infamous smile brighten his face. The one that reminded you of the good that was housed inside him and the painful realization he was still so young. What you got instead was a softer smile, one that still reached his eyes but spoke plainly of gratitude. 

“Make sure that when you’re done you get something to eat. That’s an order.” 

You offered up a mock salute as you replied, “Aye, Captain.” 

It felt ridiculous. It felt silly but it also felt good. Like you weren’t standing in a room where Zoro was slipping in and out of death. Silly like sitting back in a restaurant. All five of you enjoying a meal filled with laughter and teasing conversation. 

With a heavy sigh, you turned to face the unconscious man before you. He looked incredibly peaceful and if you didn’t know any better you would’ve believed he was just sleeping. But his breathing was still too shallow and there wasn’t any eye movement indicative of dreaming or thought. 

He looked like a shell of the man you’d fallen in love with. The color hadn’t returned to his skin and there was a noticeable sheen of sweat to his forehead and upper lip. Gently, you pressed the back of your hand to his forehead and felt the warmth to his skin. 

You figured there would be a fever, but not so soon. You weren’t sure if it was a good or bad sign but you wouldn’t dwell on it. A fever meant he needed medicine, which was your specialty. You set to work pulling what you needed out of your satchel and began to make something to help reduce the fever and hopefully help whatever infection was in his blood. 

After you steeped all the ingredients through the strainer you walked over to Zoro and gently lifted up his head. You had some trouble wiggling the nose of the bottle between his lips when you remembered you still had to contend with his teeth.

“A pain in the ass even while dying,” you groaned.

You placed his head back down against the pillow and quickly ran through your options. You tried to prop him up as much as you could before you placed your hand on his chin and applied a small amount of pressure until you felt his jaw begin to open. Finally, you were able to deposit some of the medicine between his lips. Your hands gently coax his throat to swallow by running your fingers against the skin. 

Once it was done you placed the jar behind you on Nami’s dresser and went to get a cool washcloth. You weren’t sure if you were going to stay until you started wiping the sweat from his brow. 

You found yourself sitting in the chair Nami no doubt abandoned and the book she’d been reading to him. The tale of Noland. The liar. A man who claimed to have seen something and there was never any proof. 

Liar. That’s what stuck out to you the most. 

You’d been staring at the cloth in your hands, fingers picking at the fraying pieces unable to look at him. Not until now. 

You weren’t sure why you felt so unsure of whether you should be there. If you should bother staying. The last time you’d spoken he’d made it clear what he thought of you and yet…

Reaching out you took hold of his hand for the first time. It felt wrong doing it like this but what were the chances of you being able to do it again? Your thumb moved slowly over his knuckles as if trying to outline each one perfectly to memory. 

“How are you supposed to train me to kick your ass if you don’t wake up?”

Zoro didn’t show any signs of stirring at your words. You expected him to turn his head at any minute. His eyes flew open in horror at the idea of you ever kicking his ass. You could practically hear all the remarks he’d make. 

“The day you ever kicked my ass is the day hell freezes over.”

“It’ll take a miracle for you to even get close.”

But they were the only ones that you heard in your head. Figments of previous conversations warped to fit the crazy narrative that he would be able to answer you back. 

“You know, if Naan could’ve seen how I acted today she would’ve killed me.”

An empty laugh left you as you looked up at his face. There wasn’t the usual dart of a raised brow in teasing. No hard stare that made you feel like he was silently yelling at you for getting on his nerves. 

“She would’ve been disappointed. She taught me over the years that a doctor who can’t think on their feet at lightning speed is useless. A doctor who got emotionally attached to their patients was equally as useless.” You tore your eyes away from him to look at the safety of your lap. Unable to look at him as you spoke, “I was useless at being able to help you when it mattered.”

The sob you’d been struggling to hold back erupted in a burst that forced you to cover it with your hand. You couldn’t let anyone else hear you as you shattered. 

“Maybe that was my final lesson from her. To prove that caring for all of you the way I do is only going to harm you later.”

What good was having a doctor who was only going to fail them later? But Zoro still being alive proved that it wasn’t just medicine that kept people going, but their own desire to live. That was all you wanted. You didn’t need him to wake up and proclaim his undying devotion to you. Even if he woke up still hating you, you would accept it. Anything was good enough for you if it meant you’d get to see him smile one last time. 

Walking into the galley you expected it to be either quiet or at least filled with light conversation. Maybe even a couple of gloomy faces. 

What you hadn’t expected? For it to smell like Baratie inside the tiny space, and to find the reason for the smell to be Sanji talking away with Luffy and Usopp while he cooked. 

“It smells like heaven in here,” you mused, taking in a deep inhale of all the aromas floating inside the kitchen. 

Usopp was leaning against the island - in the same exact spot Zoro had been in mere hours ago. His blood still stained part of the wood. You couldn’t bring yourself to go near it. So, you made your way around it completely and over to sit with Luffy. Who was currently cleaning the Wado Ichimonji for Zoro just like he said he would. 

Everywhere you looked Zoro’s presence was a constant reminder. A ghost haunting you that you hadn’t signed up for. 

“If this is heaven then in walked an Angel.”

Instantly, all your sadness was quickly replaced with irritation - and relief. 

“It’s a little too early to be flirting, isn’t it?”

“Nah. It’s never too early to let a beautiful woman know just how breathtaking she is.” 

“Ugh, I wouldn’t let Zoro hear you talk to Doc like that,” Usopp chuckled nervously. “I think he’d probably implode.” 

“I’m sorry. Who?” 

Sanji either must have had the worst memory you’d encountered in a while or he was playing dumb for the hell of it. Usopp took a bit of the apple he’d grabbed from the fruit bowl. He held up a finger letting Sanji know he needed to wait while he chewed before he spoke. 

“Green-haired guy. Three swords.”

“The one from this morning?”

“Yeah, that’s the one.”

Sanji cocked his head to the side as if he was questioning if Usopp was telling him a joke and he’d missed the punchline. He was in the middle of folding something in the middle of what looked like dough and you were tempted to interrupt their small discussion about your nonexistent love life to see what it was. 

“I think I’ll take my chances.”

Sanji smiled warmly at Usopp and sent another eye twitch in your direction. 

This guy was going to give you trouble. 

You watched as Luffy softly ran one of Zoro’s clothes over the sheath of the blade. He was taking his time and made sure he didn’t miss a single part. He was dedicated to making sure Zoro knew his things were safe here, with all of you, on the Merry. That he was a captain who would do what was necessary for the things you all loved and held valuable. 

“So, how did he look, Doc?”

Luffy’s question tore your eyes away from watching him do another round of polishing. He hadn’t looked at you yet, but you knew the minute you started talking he would give you his undivided attention. 

“He’s doing okay. No real change in vital signs. A slight infection has set in and gave him a fever. I made some medicine to give him every few hours just to make sure it’s nothing major.” 

Luffy placed a hand on your shoulder and gave you a light shake. A smile graced his lips as he replied, “The best doctor in all of the East Blue and soon, the Grand Line!”

You wish you could smile back brighter or maybe with something that looks genuine. Instead, a grimace meant to resemble a smile graced your lips. 

“I don’t know about the best doctor. I had no idea yellowtail skin had so many wonderful properties in them.”

“I don’t think any of us did, honestly,” Sanji offered. 

“It makes me wonder if Naan even knew about it.”

“What? You mean the resident doctor in your village never used the wonder that is yellowtail.”

“I think if you told Naan to go fishing for an ingredient you’d end up fishing your teeth off the floor.” 

“Oooh,” Sanji chuckled. “Is she really that bad?”

“Worse,” Usopp interjected. “Naan isn’t really known for taking new age information or techniques very well.”

“Hey,” you interject with a pout. 

“You know it’s true. She follows what her mother taught her religiously and makes Doc follow it too. I’m not saying she’s not a great doctor just…really old school.”

“I mean, she is old, Usopp,” you deadpanned. 

“You know what I meant.” 

“You two seem to know each other pretty well.”

Sanji was keeping himself busy still with scooping batter into a piping bag. You were so tempted to ask him what the hell he was making and how soon would you be able to get any of it. His statement was said with an inviting smile and a look of interest in his eyes as he looked between you and Usopp. 

“Doc and I go way back. She was literally, like, my only friend in the village we grew up in.”

“That is not true. You had Kaya. I had you and Naan and that was about it.”

“I’m sure a beautiful woman such as yourself has plenty of friends and admirers.”

God, please make him stop calling you beautiful. 

“Well, you’re wrong. No one in the village liked me.”

“They were actually scared of her.”

You loved how casually Usopp could just drop information without a care in the world. He was always like that since you were kids. You figured it must have been part of his ability to weave stories so intricately. Sprinkle truth throughout the lie and no one was sure what part was real and what wasn’t. The only problem here? He didn’t follow it up with anything else but the truth. 

“Usopp!” You shot out in a groan. 

He’d taken a bit of the apple again so all you got in response was a shoulder shrug. 

“Why would villagers be scared of you?” 

It wasn’t hard to miss the disbelief in Luffy’s voice or the small chuckle that clung to the back of each word. 

“Because-“ 

“Because she just showed up out of thin air on the island.” Usopp interrupted trying to swallow the remaining apple pieces in his throat. “No parents. No nothing. They all thought that a Siren or something dropped her off on the shores. All the villagers thought she was a bad omen.”

“Oh my god, Usopp! I’m like right here I can tell it and, by the way, you are the reason why everyone thought I came as a curse from the ocean and that my mom was a Siren!”

“I was trying to help you. It got Johnny Fittsmore to stop cutting pieces of your hair, didn’t it!”

“Wow. Okay.” Sanji mumbled. “Weren’t kidding on the friend's part.”

“Why was he cutting pieces of your hair?”

You weren’t surprised Luffy was confused. He was kind-hearted, and would probably never grasp the concept of people choosing to be mean. 

“I just showed up on the beach aboard a small lifeboat. Naan said she could hear my cries from her house.”

“Cries? As in a baby?” 

Sanji stopped all he was doing to rest his hands on the counter. His broad shoulders hunched forward as he looked at you through a small window of hair. He looked visibly upset and the last thing you needed was the new guy to think you were broken.

“I don’t know if I was a baby. I just know I was small and Naan decided not to let the birds eat me.” 

“No parents?”

“I mean, does anyone really have parents at this point?”

Usopp’s mom unfortunately passed away while you were both young. He’d never met his dad, Yasopp, wherever that no good baby daddy of a pirate was and basically had Usopp chasing after shadows in hopes he would ever return. Luffy seemed to only have a crazy stalker grandpa and that left Nami and Zoro with the chance of having actual functioning parental units somewhere.

“The lucky ones do.”

Sanji’s reply was delicate, like his smile, as if he said it too loud it would spook you. 

“I guess that makes us an unlucky bunch of misfits,” you replied. 

“I think we’re pretty lucky,” Luffy interjected. “We all found each other.” 

You were not going to cry. 

In the few hours this all happened,  you couldn’t remember the last time you smiled and meant it. A handful of those times had been with Luffy and, just like the times before, you could feel your own smile curving your lips. A real one. 

“I could drink to that.”

“Funny you mention a drink,” Sanji began as he placed something in the oven. “But I think you still owe me one.”

You got up from your seat and made your way over to stand next to the sink. Your eyes watched as Sanji did, in fact, have a bottle waiting in the basket he’d brought back from Baratie. 

“You always carry a bottle around with you?”

“Only when I get the chance to share a drink with a talented woman, such as yourself.” 

“Do any of these lines usually work on women?”

A full-throated laugh left him as he grabbed two glasses and began to pour the drinks. You would never say it out loud, not even if someone threatened to cut a limb off, but you enjoyed Sanji’s company. He didn’t take himself too seriously, except for his cooking. 

He let you tease him and took everything you served in stride. Although…you did miss the way Zoro always seemed to have something equally sharp to send back your way. Sanji just liked being in the company of others, especially if that company happened to be the opposite sex. 

“Sometimes,” he answered honestly. “It’s usually my charm and not my words that do it.”

“I can see that.”

He was charming. He was handsome. There wasn’t a point in denying facts just because your cup of tea was currently brewing on life support in the back. Sanji handed you your glass and lifted his up in a toast. 

“To the first drink and, hopefully, to many more.” 

You moved your glass to meet his and a light clink filled the space between you. You brought the glass to your lips and swallowed the liquid in a few gulps. As you set your glass back on the island you could hear a soft chuckle from Usopp coming from behind you. When you turned to look at him he was grinning from ear to ear. 

“What?”

“Zoro is going to be so pissed when he gets up.” 

You were about to tell him to shut up and remind him you were both very much single and in no way romantically involved. Even if you might have wanted that to happen, Zoro made it clear it wasn’t what he wanted. 

You started to open your mouth when Nami came crashing in through the galley’s doors. 

“Luffy! Luffy! The Arlong Pirates are at Baratie. We have to leave now.”

“What? Why? Why should we leave?”

“Because they are looking for you!”

“Just fucking great,” you sighed as you grabbed the bottle Sanji had left on the table.

Her last words were directed at Luffy. Of course, someone was here for Luffy. When wasn’t someone here for him? Stalker grandpa. Stalker grandpa’s war dog. Now another pirate who may or may not be working with stalker Grandpa. 

“Me?”

Luffy seemed as surprised as the rest of you. A finger pointing at himself just to make sure we were all physically sure it was, in fact, him.

“And the map. Those fishmen will tear this place apart if Zeff doesn’t turn him over.”

In a flash, all the joking and light conversation disappeared. One minute Sanji was beside you and then he was bounding around the island to get to his coat. 

“Where are you going?”

“If Baratie‘s in danger, I need to be there.”

You knew what was going to happen before Luffy even spoke. The goodness that was the core of who Luffy was would never abandon people to possible pain and suffering. It wasn’t in whatever strange and stretchy DNA that made up who he was. It was why you’d joined him and why you would continue to be aboard this ship until he no longer wanted you there. 

“Alright, I’m coming with you.” 

“Did you not hear what I just said? They are hunting you. We need to run.”

“I’m with Nami on this one. I’m really not trying to ruffle any feathers or scales.”

“Usopp. There are innocent people inside that place.

“How do you know that, Doc? It’s a restaurant that serves pirates!”

“Usopp - we,” you indicated between the two of you, “are pirates.” 

“Oh, yeah. That’s a solid point, but still-“

“I’m not running,” Luffy cut in. “We’re going to protect this place.”

“This isn’t your fight. Why would you do that?”

You could feel yourself waiting for the answer - for Sanji to experience the man that was Monkey D. Luffy. With a kind smile, he simply replied, “You fed us.”

Kindness for a kindness. 

“Look, I know this crew. Their captain, Arlong, has the highest bounty in all of the East Blue. You do not want to mess with him.”

“It sounds like he messed with us first.”

“Luffy, please. Please.”

“Nami. What are you so afraid of?”

You weren’t sure what possessed you to say it or why you moved towards her. It didn’t matter if she tried to deny it or cover it up with anger this time. You’d seen her and the fear that rolled off her like a sickness appeared to cripple her. 

“What do I have to be afraid of? You are all going to rush in there and get yourselves killed!”

“Nami,” Luffy said, “I can’t let innocent people get hurt because of me. If those fishmen guys want a fight, we’re gonna give them one.” He looked between Nami and you and walked over to her. A solid hand cupping her shoulder. “You two stay back with the ship and protect the map. Hmm.”

“Fuck that!” 

You stepped forward to the other side of him forcing him to turn from Nami to face you. 

“I’m going with you.”

“Doc, it’s safer-“

“I don’t care. You’re down a man right now and, no offense Usopp, he isn’t the greatest choice for backup.”

“Hey! I’m taking all the offense!”

“Take it all I don’t care. Luffy, I may not be a three-sword-wielding badass but I can help you. Let me help you. Please.”

Luffy regarded you for one long moment before he slowly nodded. 

“You can’t be serious?”

Nami regarded you like you’d gone insane. Maybe you had. You weren’t a soldier. You didn’t know much about fighting besides when you punched Isaki Quade in the nose in the lemon grove. 

“I’m going with him, Nami.”

“It’s going to be alright, Nami,” Luffy interjected. “The ship and the map will be safe with you.”

With that, Luffy turns on his heel and heads for the door. As you walked past the island you reached up and removed a pot from the upper rack. If Zoro could see you now, you could already hear what he would say in your head. 

Seriously? You’re bringing the pot with you? 

“What’s with the pot?” Sanji asked. 

You twirled it around in your hand as you both tried to keep pace with Luffy’s quick steps. 

“It’s my weapon of choice.”

Sanji still looked confused but you didn’t have time to explain. Luffy was already up and over the side of the Merry and walking towards the deck. If you didn’t catch up fast he would be inside Baratie before you even made it to the door. 

“This is a bad idea. Such a bad idea.”

You knew Usopp was trying to whisper it to himself. He’d always been one to talk his thoughts out when he wasn’t even trying. You tried to soothe him as you passed through the door into Baratie with a pat on his back, and instead, he nearly became one with the ceiling. 

“We are going to be okay, Usopp.”

“You shouldn’t even be here, Doc,” he snapped back. “You are the ship's doctor. What happens if we get injured and so do you?”

“The good news is in that scenario I’m just injured - not dead. So, I can still patch you guys up.”

“That doesn’t make me feel the least bit better.”

If the mood wasn’t so serious you would’ve laughed. The moment felt like you were back in Syrup village with Usopp rambling on and on about if he should or shouldn’t tell Kaya he was in love with her. No matter what you told him, his head would still worry. It was his nature. 

Everything froze in time, however, when Luffy pushed open the double doors and stepped inside the eerily quiet dining room. 

“Who here is Arlong?”

That was one way to make an entrance. 

“That would be me.”

A deep voice boomed from below you and when you looked over the railing, immediately you wished you’d stayed on the ship. He was holding an older man by the collar, sharp teeth exposed at his throat. You suddenly wished Zoro was here. 

“My name is Monkey D. Luffy and I hear you're looking for me.”

“Why, yes I am.”

You had to hand it to Luffy. Arlong looked terrifying to look at and overly confident. Luffy didn’t seem the least bit phased by any of it as he led you all down the stairs. 

“So, this is the pirate I’ve heard so much about? You know? I was expecting someone…bigger.”

“So was I.” 

If you weren’t so fucking terrified you would’ve laughed. At least Luffy was able to smile for the both of you, because the minute eyes darker than the trenches of the ocean peered up at all of you ready to rip out your throats you swear you felt your soul exit stage left. 

“Do you know who I am, boy? I’m Arlong the Saw. Even the Marines flee before my flag.”

“Not ringing a bell. How’s you find me anyway?”

A sickening chuckle that reminded you of gills taking in water filled the room. 

“An old friend helped me track you down.” 

He clicked his tongue right after he finished, and you hated the fact that you jumped. You hated it even more when Sanji moved to stand just a little in front of you to protect you. 

In all of a second, the dirty blonde-haired fishmen reached into a black bag and took out a- 

“Is that a fucking clown head?!” 

You wanted to scream but swallowed it down as it started talking and- oh god moving. The neck area actually wiggled as he shouted, “Heya, Straw Hat. Did you miss me?”

“Burpy? What are you doing here?”

“Believe me, it wasn’t my first choice either. But these fine fishy folk persuaded me to point them in the right direction, which ain’t easy when you don’t have any hands.” 

He let out a laugh like this was like any other day. All completely normal. 

“How’d you even know how to find me?”

“I told you. I’ve got eyes and ears everywhere.”

To prove his point, you watched in horror as an ear fluttered its way out of Luffy’s hat and back to attach itself to Burpy’s head. 

“What is happening right now?” 

Your whisper was aggressive and you weren’t even sure why you were even asking Usopp or Sanji like they even knew. It just made you feel a bit better when all three of you looked at each other equally disturbed. 

Luffy, as usual, looked less shocked about the ear in his hat and more that he’d been listening. 

“You were listening all along? You heard everything?”

“Everything. And that got old quick, ‘cause you shidiots have no idea what you are doing. By the way, Doc, it's so nice to finally meet you. You’re equally as delicious as Dreamsicle. Wherever she is. Hey, Lips!”

Burpy turned to yell at the fishmen who did have rather large lips to scratch his ear. You were still stuck on the fact a clown head was trying to hit on you. 

Maybe you should’ve just stayed with Nami on the boat. 

The fishmen denied him his apparent scratch and Burpy went into full shriek mode. You instantly winced at the sound and tried not to cover your ears as his head was shoved back inside the black bag. 

“Listen here. I want my map and half of whatever you plunder as tribute. And if you bow down to me, I might even let you serve in my kingdom.”

Arlong was walking slowly towards you - towards Luffy. You weren’t sure if while he talked he was smiling or snarling. 

“I don’t bow down to any man.”

“I’m no man.”

“Or fish,” Luffy corrected. “You’re no king.”

“I will be when I get my Grand Line map.”

“Then…” Luffy placed his hat back on his head and you already knew what was coming. “You’re going to have to fight me for it.”

Shit. 

Suddenly, coming in with a fucking cooking pot felt ridiculous, but you were gripping it tightly all the same. 

“Then let the fighting begin.” 

Right as Arlong smacked his fist into his hand, the sound of a gunshot went off and your eyes traveled up to see a rather large Chef’s hat in the middle of the room. Attached to that hat was Zeff who held a small muscat in his hand. 

The other fishman who sat at the table with Blondie immediately got up and kicked the wood of Zeff’s wooden leg. It broke without pause and sent the older man tumbling to the floor. When he looked up, the Fishman kicked him hard and sent him flying back through three tables. 

“Zeff!”

Sanji’s voice was filled with so much pain your chest aches but it was also thundering to life with adrenaline. How the fuck did you think a pot was going to help at all against them? You could hear Zoro chastising you, calling you a dumbass and you swiftly pushed it away. Now was not the time to talk to imaginary Zoro. 

Sanji ran down the stairs and kicked Blondie away and used the momentum to land on their table. He spun off and kicked the Fishman who’d hurt Zeff. 

“Usopp!”

He ran past you and shrank down small to get under the table. No one else saw him do it. They were too busy watching Sanji as he took on the fishman. 

“Usopp, get bac-“

You moved down the stairs to get him and were greeted with Sanji’s body landing on the exact table. It tipped over instantly and exposed Usopp underneath. He immediately clamored out from underneath it. 

“Get the people out of here! Get them out now!” 

You rushed down what was left of the stairs as Luffy started shouting out his gum-gum pistol. You could hear his body stretching impossibly far back, but you were busy trying to get to Sanji. He was choking on the air trapped in his lungs and your body was seized in terror that he may have a punctured lung. 

“Sanji,” you asked, placing a hand on his face to bring him to focus on your face and the other gently on his side. “Are you alright? Does anything feel broken?”

“Just…my pride,” he wheezed back. 

You ignored the fact he’d placed his hand over yours and lightly began to move him towards Usopp who was now on the other stairs. You looked back and saw Arlong toss Luffy violently against the pillar. 

“Get up!”

“Luffy!”

You tried to move down off the stairs and felt Sanji grip you tightly around your waist to keep you there with him and Usopp. He kept throwing punch after punch and Arlong took them all with stride. Luffy wasn’t making a dent and to Arlong this was just a game. 

Luffy tried to swing on him one last time and Arlong caught it. He tried to swing again to make Arlong let him go, and he easily caught that one. With both fists in his hands, he used them to pull Luffy to him. 

You tried to wiggle free but Sanji held on tight and the feeling of Usopp’s hand on your shoulder joined in. Luffy looked so scared; so angry as Arlong told him something through sharpened teeth. One minute they were there and the next Arlong flung him up into the foray. 

“Luffy!”

This time you did scream as Arlong took the stairs to reach him. The continued sounds of a body being thrown through stained glass windows. 

“Doc, I know you want to go to him but you can’t! It isn’t safe.”

“Fuck that I can’t just let him die!”

You were nearing hysterics. Why couldn’t they remember that Luffy was a Devil Fruit eater? That outside was miles and miles of ocean and Arlong knew it. All it would take is one splash, and one toss, and Luffy would be defenseless. All it would take is him falling over the dock and he would drown. 

“He isn’t going to die!”

“Usopp, he ate a Devil fruit! Mother Ocean turns her back on those who do and what is outside with them?” 

You needed them to understand that it wasn’t because you wanted to be a hero. You weren’t that kind of person. You just wanted to save the life of your Captain. 

You refused to lose two people on the same day. 

“Oh, shit,” Usopp mumbled and you felt your head shaking along with it. 

“Yes! Shit. I need to make sure he’s okay. Please.” 

Sanji looked from Usopp and back to you. Blue eyes desperately searching your face to come up with a reason to tell you no. Finally, he released the hold he kept on your waist and nodded up the stairs. 

“Go check on our Captain.” 

You mouthed the words thank you as you bolted up the stairs. You took them two at a time and rounded the broken foray doors to see the sunlight coming from outside. That door too had been completely smashed open with Luffy’s body. 

The adrenaline in your veins screamed at you to move faster; be quicker. Your feet thundering onto the dock just in time to see Arlong holding Luffy up over the edge of the dock and…was that Nami?

“Nami!” You called out to her. “What are you doing?”

“Doc! Stay back!” 

Each word that left Luffy came out choked and ragged. His hands weakly clamored at the grip Arlong had on his throat. Your eyes didn’t know where to look. Luffy who was in danger or Nami who…had a suspicious-looking tattoo that looked like Arlong in tattoo form and the Grand Line map in hand. 

“What is going on?”

“A business transaction, girl,” Arlong chuckled. “Don’t be a pest and interrupt.” 

“I wasn’t talking to you, asshole,” you snapped. You should’ve cared when the smile left his face. When he looked like he would throw you into the ocean along with Luffy. “Nami. I asked you a question.” 

She turned on you then. Her whole body facing you as she gave you a shrug and a look so icy it could’ve frozen hell slid across her face. For all her show of hatred, however, she couldn’t hollow out the heartbreak in her eyes. Nami didn’t want you to hate her but she would make you, and you wanted to know why. 

“What is it that you aren’t comprehending, Doc? I was sent to steal the map and bring it back to him. I’ve been a part of Arlong’s crew this whole time. I played you.” 

You didn’t believe her for one second. Your friendship isn't something that could be faked. The way she cared and pleaded with Zoro to not fight Mihawk. She’d even pleaded with Luffy to run while Arlong was here and maybe…maybe it’s because she was running too. 

“I don’t believe you-“

“Believe whatever you want. It’s not going to make a difference or make any of this less real,” she snapped. 

She dismissed you by completely turning away from you and headed towards a Jolly Roger that held the same emblem as her tattoo. Arlong went to bite at Luffy’s neck and Nami called to him. 

“Why waste your time killing a Devil Fruit eater when the sea can do it for you.” 

No! “No!” 

This time when the fear threatens to freeze you in place and to keep you from making that critical step forward, you don't hesitate to burst into a full sprint. Your words leave you in a rush. 

“I’m a doctor! Do you hear me Arlong!? I’m a doctor.”

“Doc, no-“ 

“What good is a human doctor to me?” Arlong snarled in response. 

You could hear the sound of his fingers releasing Luffy. The sound of his body edging closer to the lip of the ocean. 

“Columnaria! Fish rot. I can cure it.”

That caused him to pause - for everyone to pause. 

“How? You’re a human.”

“We had fishmen who served one of the wealthy businessmen where I lived. They would get sick and Naan- the healer would have to treat them. She taught me how.”

Cautiously you moved towards him with your hands up. If he did decide to not take you up on your offer and drop Luffy into the ocean you wanted to be close enough to jump in. 

“I can treat any of your fishmen who are sick with it. I can teach you how to care for it yourself. But if you drop him into the ocean you’ll get nothing.” 

It was easy to see how much Arlong hated that you knew how to cure a disease that killed fishmen like wildfire. A human. You bargained his men’s life for the life of your Captain and that seemed fair. 

“Don’t do this, Doc.” 

“I’m sorry, Luffy. I have to.”

You couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d failed Zoro somehow. You wouldn’t fail Luffy too. 

Arlong took all of a second to consider your offer. He showed you he accepted it by dropping a very weak Luffy back onto the safety of the dock. 

“I accept your bargain, human. Welcome to the Arlong Pirates.”

_________

As always, thank you so much for reading. Comments and reblogs are always welcome.

_________

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[misguidedasgardian]

I need to... (1)

1... Get the f*ck out of here

MASTERLIST

Summary: An awful event leads you to rethink of everything

Pairings: Aemond Targaryen x Fem!Reader (for now)

Warnings: There are mentions of them being Minors! at some point in their relationship, cursing, cheating, angst, depression, age gap (not for reader), coercion, toxic relationship, drinking alcohol to cope, in some countries it is underage drinking, (reader is 18). might forget some warnings…

Wordcount: 4 k

Notes: This just started like a blurb, and now we are here. AAAHHHH this is going to be soft, romcom sort of thing, but a bit angsty at first… 

You knew him like the palm of your hand, and that is how you could pinpoint the exact day something went wrong, were perhaps his affair started, you couldn’t be sure 

You wanted to go to Winterfell University, it was far North in the continent, they say it was always winter there, cold, and wild, but you had seen pictures and had been there briefly on vacations with your family and you absolutely loved it, besides, it had a great program on what you wanted to study, you wanted an adventure, you wanted to completely change your surroundings, get out of your comfort zone, fly off the nest. 

But Aemond, your loving boyfriend and highschool sweetheart didn’t think so, you didn’t want to break your relationship, besides, Aemond’s family owned an airline, it would be a four hour journey to meet you there. But he insisted it was too far. You believed that on the one hand that a time apart could be good for you, you would miss him more, and therefore your reunions would be way more intense and hotter, but no.

An that time it made sense, you were drawing your future together, so he convinced you to go to Dragonstone University with him. The university of his dreams. 

It was completely his environment, the university specialized on what he wanted to study, diplomacy and political sciences, so for him it was a perfect fit. 

But not for you

All the alumni were perfect, serious, dressed like they all belonged to old money, just like Aemond, he was like a fish of the same pond, and you? were a fucking Alligator. You felt big, clumsy, unwanted. 

There wasn’t a career in design, like the one you wanted to follow, instead, there was plastic arts and photography, even architecture, so, in your first year, you made sure to take a couple of subjects leading in all of those directions. 

That was your first mistake.

You should have stayed in architecture, maybe, photography even, but instead, you decided to take a course with Professor Alys Rivers. In a plastic arts class

That was your second

Soon you became some sort of friends

She was tall, beautiful, dark long locks, big green eyes, the woman was stunning, young, just started teaching, and soon she became your mentor

You liked her 

She realized you were frustrated, and take special care in you, mentoring you, and keeping you close to her, she told you maybe you would be good at teaching, and maybe she wouldn’t have taken so long in deciding she wanted to teach

She was thirty five years old

But as Aemond was thriving, you were quickly losing yourself

Classes were boring, didn't raise your interest, the people here were strange, you were afraid to say you weren’t making any friends and not for the lack of trying

It got so bad you only went out with Aemond, who was even after a few months, the most popular guy in his class, it was becoming a very unbalanced relationship

You and Aemond had grown up together, you were neighbors with his nephews Jacaerys, Lucerys and joffrey, the first one being your classmate with Aemond

You played together as children, and in eleventh grade he had formerly asked you to date him, to be his girlfriend

Both your families were ecstatic

HIghschool sweethearts, you knew each other forever, you were going to marry and live  a perfect life, Aemond wanted to be a diplomat, and you were catching up to be his beautiful, smart, joyful trophy wife.

You didn’t see it that way then

You wanted to follow a design career, he didn’t take you seriously, but encouraged you

The problem is that Winterfell was too far away, so he convinced you to take architecture courses in his university, the best one in the country for what he wanted, the kind of university that grooms the men and women that were going to take over the world one day. It was huge, a big castle from five thousand years ago, the least you could do was enjoy the architecture. 

He was the perfect man, the perfect boyfriend, the one your parents would adore, and they did, he was chivalrous, patient, kind, generous…

You introduced him to your favorite teacher hen you ran into each other at the campus’ coffee shop

That was your third mistake, to invite Alys to join you both to take a cup of coffee, 

If you only payed attention to the looks they gave each other 

“So she is the teacher you have talked to me about”, Aemond said sheepishly, you only hummed as you kept reading a tome about a tyroshi painter who was the first in drawing the human body in all its forms, he was sort of famous, had lived more than a thousand years ago

“Yes, she is so sweet”, you whispered, “she is an artist, but so down to earth you know?”, you said without even thinking, “you can completely see the process behind her works, she is amazing”

Aemond had the luck (or money), to get single in the dorms, so he slept alone, so you could stay with him anytime you’d like, and you really liked it, your roommate was a bit mean.

And suddenly, Aemond has to study… a lot, you didn’t sleep with him anymore, even though your after class activities were as active as ever.

He was concentrating on his classes, (or that is what you thought), so you were going to start and do the same, and you tried, so so hard

But you were failing

You were already started the last month of the semester, and two of your teachers told you unceremoniously, that you were failing

BAD

You barely contained your tears, your lips were quivering and your nose tickled, and you went to the only person who could bring you comfort… one of the two… your professor Alys, whose class you had been getting pure A’s in

You never saw it coming

Her classroom was the last one in one of the towers of the incredible castle, and when you started climbing up the stairs, your stomach sank

It was late, the sun already hiding on the horizon, but you knew she was still in her atelier, and there she was

You could what the moans and whispers before you saw them, your cheeks heated and a sick curiosity made you sneak a peek inside the classroom

Oh how you wish you didn’t

There she was, your thirty five year-old teacher being pounded by your nineteen year old boyfriend 

You’d recognize that silver hair anywhere, everywhere

You wanted to throw up

Alys and Aemond, Aemond was fucking Alys

Together

Fucking

Sweating 

You just stood there

Your arm moved alone, as you raised your phone and took a picture of them, you could need it for later, but it wasn’t you who made that decision, it certainly wasn’t you

You were crying

You covered your mouth to sob outloud and for them to hear it, and you walked away, it was a miracle you managed to went down those treacherous steps and not smash your head, perhaps you would have preferred it, to smash your head against the stone floors, to turn off your head 

the tears stopped, and your feet moved on your own as they took you out of there, you didn’t want anyone to see you, you didn’t want to give this university more of you, not your tears, not more of your efforts, no nothing

You didn’t go to your room, you couldn’t, you know she was going to be there, Maris Baratheon, and you couldn’t face her, not now, not ever. 

You needed something else…

So you walked to the only bar near campus, many of your classmates would call it a “slum”, it wasn’t very popular with students, and that’s exactly what you needed.

You sat on a stool on the bar, and waited for the bartender to get to you, didn’t push him, just looked at the 

“looks like you need a drink”, you looked to the side to find a young guy, maybe short twenties, dark born hair, green eyes

“Don’t I?”, you mocked, smiling shyly, he was cute. You couldn’t help but notice his Winterfell University Jersey. He offered you a pint, and you took it gladly, you really needed it, “aren’t you a bit far from”, you pointed at his chest where the varsity letters told you where he was from, he only chuckled 

“They sent me in a… diplomatic mission”, he said with a mystery tone, and wiggling his eyebrows

“Are you recruiting students to go to the far North?”, you said, and if he said yes, you were going to beg him to take you with him

“Yes”

“Oh”, you seemed truly amused so he offered you his hand

“Ben Tallheart”, he whispered, and you shook his hand, giving him your name. “What do you know about the university anyways?”, he asked, taking a sip of his beer

“I wanted to apply there”, you answered, and he looked at you surprised, “I wanted to take the designer degree”

“Why didn’t you?”, he asked

“I decided to follow my boyfriend here, who I just found out is screwing my plastic arts teacher”, he spitted his beer 

“What?”, he asked, not knowing if to laugh or just be horrified

“Yep”, you said, taking a long sip of your own beer

“Uf, that must be tough”, speak of the devil, your phone started ringing, to no surprise, you discovered it was Aemond who was calling you, and fuck it hurt

“I’m gonna need something stronger than this”, you said to him, canceling the call, you just wouldn’t let it ring, you wanted him to realize you had hung up on him. Ben smiled, asking the bartender for two tequila shots

It was to pints later and five tequila shots, that you were laughing your face out, hugging him with one of your arms the shoulders of Ben

“I want to go to Winterfell, fuck this college”

“Yes, fuck it!”, he said, “this college sucks, filled with stuck ups…”

Your phone had ringed so much it vibrated off the table and it was currently missing from your earshot and eye shot 

You didn’t want to know either

“You think they’ll take me?”, you asked him with teary eyes

“Of course they will!”, he laughed

“Half semester?”, you asked 

“Of course!”

“Let’s fucking do it!”, you cheered, and everyone in the bar cheered with you, “I need to get the fuck outta here”, you said, and Ben laughed wholeheartedly.

The rest of the night was a blur, you knew Ben had walked with you back to campus and accompanied you to the door of your room

“My stuck up roommate is probably in”, you told him, and he nodded

“If you meant what you said”, he said, “and you are truly interested in coming to Winterfell University, here”, he passed you his presentation card, “give me a ring tomorrow”, you only nodded

“Thank you”, you whispered, and he only nodded, and left you.

You entered your room and there she was, your roommate, putting innumerable creams in her face 

“Eh, where have you been?”, oh that tone

“What?”, you asked, already coming down from your binge, “what do you care?”

“Ugh, you’re drunk!?”

“A little”, you grumbled, dropping to your bed

“Iu”, she whined, “Aemond was here you know, looking for you”, she told you, “you truly don’t deserve him, he was so concerned”

Oh poor Aemond, he couldn’t find you after he was fucking your plastic arts teacher, i bet that filthy motherfucker didn’t even shower before he came looking for you

“I bet”, you whispered, you then remembered you couldn’t find your phone, probably was still on the floor of that bar… Shit you were going to need it if you truly planned on contacting Ben for that transfer. 

But tonight you couldn’t do anything because you were practically kicked out of that bar, it had to be tomorrow, so, to the horror of your roommate, you just dozed off, dressed in the same clothes, reeking of bar and secondhand smoke. 

The next morning you woke up and thankfully, you were alone, your head hurt, but not as much as your heart.

Gods it hurt

You had burned the image of Aemond and Alys, fucking on top of her desk, and you couldn’t believe it. Aemond, your Aemond.

Your nose started to tickle, knowing you were about to cry you stood up, and searched for a change of clothes, you took your towel, and went straight for the bathroom, to wash your night off of your hair.

That morning you had classes with profes-… with that bitch Alys, so you didn’t even bother showing up. And since most of the college was in classes by now, you found yourself alone in the big bathroom.

You hadn't cried until now, but as you undressed yourself and got under the generous flow of water, something inside you just… unraveled. You started weeping uncontrollably, choking with your tears and the water, you hugged yourself under the falling boiling water seeking for comfort, but you couldn’t find any

Every breath you took hurt, deep within your chest, and you cried and cried until you felt your eyes sore

Your Aemond, your boyfriend, the one that gave you a promise ring… the one you knew since kindergarten, the one who was your first kiss, your first… everything! He was cheating on you with your own professor, Alys, the one that encouraged you and tried to nurture you, and guide you through this uncertainty in this part of your life. The one that you considered to be your only stone here besides your loving boyfriend

What was wrong with them? 

What was wrong with you? What did you do wrong? you chose school because of him, you changed careers, you endured a hell for him, you dressed how he liked it, to arranged your hair the way he liked it, you stopped doing things you enjoyed, stopped watching films that made you laugh because they were “childish”, you stopped listening to upbeat music because it wasn’t “proper”

Everything for him

You loved him with all your heart

You knew Friday morning he had this debate class, very important and he couldn’t miss it, or he would have been throwing your door down, so you took that as a sign, you needed to work fast and sneakily.

You needed to get out of here

You didn’t want to see him ever again

So you ran back to your room, got dressed quickly, and the first thing you did was run back to the bar, where the cleaning lady returned your phone to you.

You turned it on and to no surprise, you found thousands of texts and missed calls from Aemond

“love where are you?”

“Are you alright?”

“I’m coming to your dorm”

“Maris says you were not there, wtf? where are you?”

“You clearly don’t want to speak to me, but I just wanted to know you are ok”

“I don’t understand why you are doing this to me, did I do something wrong? Are you mad?”

“The least you could do is face me like an adult”

You rolled your eyes as you read the messages, he growing angrier, trying to turn this on you

But then he sent a video of a instagram story, of you and Ben hugging and laughing, taking tequila shots, it was uploaded by a classmate of Aemond who had clearly saw you

“I see that you were not alone, I can’t believe you would do this to me”, he wrote, and you chuckled darkly, the audacity of him had no limits whatsoever, “I just wanted to see you, and be with you, I wanted you to help me study for my finals, I know this few months had been hard on you, but I least I thought we had eachother”, but then it got worse, he send you a picture of a flower bouquet and a dark red box, “I wanted to gift you this, to show you how much I love you, and how much I was looking forward to a future with you”, you couldn’t kept walking, you had to sit down in a bench looking down at a cliff, you couldn’t even walk because of how much you were crying.

You couldn’t believe this

Why would he do this to you? you had given him your everything, you had sex almost every day, you complimented each other, you told each other everything, you were what you thought a power couple, only that he had all the power while you were his cheerleader…. 

This fucker, you wiped your tears angrily from your face. 

You were feeling a pain in your chest and you truly believed for a second you were having a heart attack, that you were positively going to die right here in this rusty bench, alone.

Your drunken thoughts from last night came rushing back in, of wanting to transfer to Winterfell University half semester.

It was an insane thought

But you also believe you couldn’t stay here, for what? this isn’t what you wanted, the only thing you thought you had was Aemond, who you just found out fucking YOUR teacher in the classroom. Staying here was insane, you had no friends, now you had no boyfriend, no career 

When you finally calmed down and walked back to your dorm room, Aemond was waiting for you right outside. 

And it's like all your convictions of leaving him and this school faltered just like that, just seeing him like that standing, his furrowed brow looking concerned for you. He was worried bout you, for a second you even believed that this was all a misunderstanding, they he couldn’t possibly do this to you 

Right then and there you just wanted to beg him to stop, to stop his affair and look you in the eye and promise you it was never going to happen again, that he loved you, that you were the one. That he was drunk, or she made him do it. She coerced him into it.

But then he looked at you, and his concern went to annoyance 

“Where have you been?”, he asked, walking towards you, “I was concerned for you!”, he immediately went to himself and what he was feeling, and you didn’t know where you got the strength from, but you looked at him, serious in the eye

“I failed color theory and anatomy drawing class”, you said, looking him in the eye, and the worst part is that you weren’t truly lying. His face softened as he looked at you with pity, “I feel like a massive failure, and I didn’t want to cry to you because you are already in the excellency program”, you whispered, looking at the ground in front of you

“So your solution was to go drink at a bar?”, he asked then, again, annoyed 

“I found this guy that was from Winterfell University, the one I wanted to go, and asked him about the programs…”, he sighed

“We talked about this”, he said, “that college is not even ranking…”

“I don’t care Aemond”, you whispered, “I just need to sleep, please, and you are going to be late”, you whispered, not daring to look him in the eye

You believed you knew his schedule, but apparently not, because when he was supposed to be in study group, he was fucking your teacher… 

“Are you going to be alright?”, he asked, “because I need my study partner”, he said, trying to sound hopeful. Yes you helped him study, you prepared flashcards for him, because you knew he had visual memory so he studied better with colors and images, so you prepared his study material and quizzed him

Maybe a couple of times with stripping quizzes… 

Oh how foolish you had been

“Yes Aem”, you said, managing to smile at him, “I just need some time”

“You have it love”, he whispered, “I love you”

“Love you”, you closed the door gently, leaving him outside, and threw yourself in the bed, hiding your face in the pillow and weeped a bit more.

Perhaps you should face Aemond, hear what he has to say, you wanted to believe it so badly, that there was something else to it, that perhaps…

You were a fool

They were fucking on top her desk… what else is there? he was cheating on you, she was violating hundreds of protocols, so was he

You dozed off to sleep

You woke up when your roommate entered the room

“You still drunk?”, she sneered

“No”, you whispered, “just tired”,  you didn’t even know why you bothered 

You have made a decision…

You were going to leave this place

You were going to leave and not tell a soul, not even Aemond, you were going to disappear from his life, from one hour to the next

You contacted Ben, and he told you everything you need to know, the semester was almost over, but the next one was just around the corner, and you had to do this, not even for spite, but because this is what you wanted from your future

So you did the only thing you could think off

So went to speak with the dean

She was an old family friend, she knew your parents and family since forever, she was very professional and never showed favoritism, but, you knew you were on her good side

“I want to know if I can transfer to another university”, you asked shakily, once she invited you to take a seat in in front of her desk, she looked at you puzzled

“Did something happen? the school year is not even over yet”, she said with her kind eyes, truly worried for you

“I realized I didn’t choose the university for the school path I wanted to take”, you tried to explain, but the sorrow in your face made her believe you were not being truthful, or that you weren’t telling her the truth, “I choose Dragonstone because of love”. you continued, “and now I don’t have that love, and… I want to study a design mayor”

“I see”, now she was more pleased, “Where would you like to go?”, she asked

“Winterfell University”, you said without even thinking about it, she only nodded

“I have a good friend up there”, she said, “so the change wouldn’t be the problem, you have the grades and the Maester exams scores in your favor, but, are you sure this is what you want?”, she asked.

“More than anything”, you said with a smile

Rhaenys Targaryen was the cousin of Aemond’s father, but they didn’t get along very well, it was messy, she was the Headmaster to Dragonstone University

“You will have to start in the middle of the year”, she warned, and you only nodded

“It’s what I want”, you assured her, she looked at you, analyzing you 

“Good, but first, I need you to finish the courses you are in”, your face said it all as it froze in place, looking at the face of that witch is the last thing you wanted to do

“That is expected of me”, you said, and smiled, she smiled back

“I’ll start with the paperwork, I have already received a letter of recommendation from Ben Tallheart, a representative of Winterfell university that is in the grounds this week”

“Yeah, I’ve met him”, you said smiling shyly

“Good luck finishing the rest of the courses”

Luck, you will need.

After chapter notes: look, if I stopped and wrote all the details of their relationship, this whole fic would be around them, so I narrated what happened instead of making the reader “live it”, get my meaning? This is about healing and seeing that there is something more than “that great love”, so I didn’t stop to focus on the toxic relationship with Aemond, so… One mroe chapter of reader's mess, and we are off to Winterfell! jeje

taglist!

@mxtokko @princesssterek @thefandomimagines @iamavailablesstuff

[onskepa]

IM SO HAPPYYYYYYY

you finally reopened your requests!!!

Hear me out!

We need a reader with vitiligo. The sully are shocked and confused when they see her skin but jake explains it to them. Ik there is a chance you maybe won't write this but i had been longing to request it for such a long time

This is what vitiligo looks like:

Hellooooooo darling!! I can see where you are going with this one. Did a bit more research so I can make it as accurate as I can. Hope you all can enjoy it~!!

PS: The sully kids are younger here: Neteyam is 9, lo'ak and kiri are 8, and tuk is not yet born because I forgot about her when I finished this.

-----------

Nawang

“Come on, keep up!” young neteyam calls out to his two younger siblings. Kiri and lo’ak do their best to keep up speed with their older brother. “Stop being so damn fast!!” lo’ak shouts back, grunting as he does his best to keep up. “Hey! What did mom say?” Kiri shouts behind lo’ak. Rolling his eyes, lo’ak runs faster to be at the same level with neteyam, making kiri trail a bit behind. 

The three ran through the forest in glee, their mother sent them to tell their father that lunch was ready. And of course the kids would happily use any excuse to go out on a small adventure. Especially to mess with the humans. 

“I see the pole! We are here!” Neteyam says as he runs even faster. Clearing some leaves, out reveals the human post. Right near where the entrance is at, they see their dad talking to someone over a tablet. But neteyam stopped a few feet away. The human beside his dad. Why do they look-

“Why does your skin look so weird?” 

“LO’AK!”

“While I dont like humans, I don't support your rude words, lo'ak” Neytiri strictly scolds her second son. The boy in question grabbed his tail, looking down feeling guilty of his choice of words. 

“But mom, she did look weird,” Kiri says, as means to help her brother. Neytiri only hissed at her in a warning way.  “Weird or not, I taught you better than to judge people. My children, how would you like it if someone picked on how you look? It would not be good would it?”. 

Lo’ak and kiri shake their heads and mutter ‘no’. 

“Good, now we are all going back and I want you to apologize to the human. Am I clear?” 

“Yes mama”.

Neytiri took her two children back at the human base, there she sees jake, neteyam and the human in question. And as they get closer, neytiri gets a better view of the human. She almost stopped for a second, almost. Her children weren't right to point it out, but they also were not wrong. The human did look odd. She didn't look like any of the humans neytiri came across. No, this one was different beyond any comprehension. 

The human had two skins. 

Dark and light skin tones. Patches all around. Almost like paint splattered all over her body. 

Jake turns and calls neytiri over. She does so slowly, she came here for a reason. Best to not get distracted. Neteyam looks over and smiles at her and his siblings. 

“Hi mama, look, meet nawang. She likes to take pictures” Neteyam introduces as he holds a camera in his hands. 

Nawang, as neteyam calls her. She looked up and smiled, greeting her in the na’vi way. Seems like nawang has learned the customaries. 

“Baby, this is nawang, a friend. One of the science guys. And nawang, this is my wife neytiri, and my other kids, lo’ak and kiri '' Jake happily introduces. The human woman looked at all of them with a warm smile. 

“Hello, it is a pleasure to meet you all. Jake would never shut up about his family. Day or night, he will look for any excuse to talk about you all” she says. Her voice is cheerful and soft. Like a friend whom you already know. 

“Come on, what can I say? I'm a happy man '' Jake responds, his grin wide. 

Neytiri shook away at her stare and cleared her voice. “I believe my child has something important to tell you” she says, gesturing lo’ak to step forward. And he does, getting closer to nawang, he looks up at her and pouts. 

“I'm sorry I called your skin weird. It was rude of me to say that” he apologizes. Nawang chuckled a bit and shook her head. “Apology accepted lo’ak” she answers. 

“But why does your skin look like that?” he continues. 

Jake wanted to smack himself right then and there. 

“Veeetigoo??” 

“Not quite, vitiligo” 

“Vitiligo!” 

“that's it!” Nawang praises the sully kids. She was teaching them the name of her skin condition. Neytiri watched along, secretly learning too. She wanted Jake to explain what is with the human’s look, but all he replied was “it's best to hear it from the source”. 

“But what is vitiligo?” Kiri asks. Nawang sat on the grass floor with the three children in front of her, their parents not far from where they are. 

Rolling up her sleeves to expose more of her arms, Nawang happily begins to explain. “You see, Vitiligo is a skin disease, it is an illness that I have. No, I won't die because of it. What happens is that inside of my body, I lack the proper amount of pigment. It is what causes the patches on my skin”. Seeing as they are kids, Nawang had to explain it in as simple form as she could. 

There was a couple seconds of silence from the kids. Taking in the information. Then kiri got closer to hold nawang’s hand. “Does it hurt?” she asks, looking up at her adorably. Nawang felt her heart shot through by his cuteness, she pulled kiri closer on to her lap. “No kiri, it doesn't hurt. It is just part of me” she answers. 

Neteyam felt more confidence and gently traced the odd white shapes on her hand and arm. “Will it go away?” he asks, Nawang hummed a bit. “Hard to tell, for some it does go away. And for others, it stays with them”. 

While Nawang was focused on kiri and lo’ak, a flash and a snap was heard. Turning, she sees neteyam holding her camera, and a polaroid picture comes out. Gently grabbing it, keeping it in her shadow, colors were forming. And what it revealed warmed her heart. “Here, it's yours' ' She says to neteyam. Gasping happily, he accepts it. 

“You know, you are pretty good at taking pictures. Would you like to keep the camera?” Nawang asks. Neteyam looked surprised, looking at the camera and up back at her, “can I?” he asks. Nodding, confirming her answer, neteyam snuggles the device to his chest. “I'm going to take a lot of pictures! And then I will show them to you!” He says happily. Already many ideas are flowing in his mind. 

Laughing at his adorable statement, Nawang pulls him into her little group hug. “Alrighty mister photographer, and maybe one of these days I can show you my photo album. It has all of my pictures I collected through my years”. 

Lo’ak grunts a bit, pouting, “how come neteyam gets to keep the camera? I want a camera too!” he demands. Gently stroking his head, nawang speaks “maybe if netyam would like. Best to take turns. Everyone sees the world differently”. 

Kiri not really caring much for what her brothers are doing, she followed the lines and shapes on Nawangs arms. And slowly she made it to her face. “It's like you are two different people in one body,” Kiri says. Gently tugging kiri’s nose, making her scrunch her face. “May seem like that. But I see it as what makes me, well, me. Like your stripes. Every na’vi that I have seen has different stripes. And no two are the same. And your stripes are very beautiful”. 

Kiri gushes at her compliment. 

“Come on kids! Time to head home!” Jake calls out. The kids whine, not ready to leave. “Hey come on. How about this, if you guys behave for your parents, ask them to take you guys back here tomorrow. We have forever to talk and play. How's that?” Nawang suggested. And the kids cheer, liking the offer. So getting up and saying their goodbyes, they leave for their lunch. 

“Neteyam, why are you not asleep? It is past your bedtime” Neytiri smiles at her oldest son. The boy in question was wide awake and looking at his polaroid picture. “Sorry mama, I am just still excited for tomorrow. I took so many pictures of the village. I know Nawang would like it” he explains. 

“Well, try your best to go to sleep. Or you will wake up late and not have a chance” his mother tells. Understanding, he lays down to sleep, still clutching his picture. 

“If you sleep with your picture it would wrinkle. Would you like me to hold it for you until morning?” Neytiri asks, nodding, neteyam gives it to her. Kissing her baby good night, she walks away with the picture. 

She sits near the fire for better lighting. And smiled. 

The picture was of little neteyam’s hand side by side with Nawang’s hand. 

Aaaaaaaand that is it for this one. I did my best to make it good. Hope you all enjoyed it! until next time! see ya!

Nawang = merge, become one with

[dduane]

when i was a kid in the 80s my uncle introduced me to text adventure computer games. i was thinking about that the other day for some reason and sought out some way i could download and play one of my absolute favorites, star trek: the kobayashi alternative, and it blew my mind a little to see your name pop up in the credits shown when the game starts. thank you so much for helping to create such a neat game that i still think about it 30 years later. what was it like working on such a unique storytelling medium at the time?

Demanding. Exhausting. Exciting. (The company responsible for the coding, MicroMosaics, was very young and new, and we were all finding our feet together.) It was a bit of a trip being interviewed about it at for "Talk of the Town" in The New Yorker at the Rainbow-Room-based launch party. For some reason the idea of a woman writing not just science fiction, but computer games too, took a lot of people then by surprise. :)

Looking back on it now, I could wish the game engine had been a little less buggy... but my current understanding is that the publisher pushed for an earlier release date than was wise. (sigh) What can you do.

Anyway, I'm glad you enjoyed the game! I had a ton of fun writing it.

[vintagetvstars]

Nichelle Nichols Vs. Yvonne Craig

Propaganda

Nichelle Nichols - (Star Trek) - She speaks for herself. Legendary, iconic, at the forefront of feminism and civil rights in the 60s, she is a triple threat who did so much more. She volunteered from 1977 to promote recruitment diversity within NASA, including some of the first female and ethnic minority astronauts. Martin Luther King Jr. compared her work on Star Trek as a 'vital role model' to the civil rights marches. She refused to be dismissed, fought for visibility and shone whilst doing so. As a woman in stem, and simply a woman she means the world and stars above to me.

Yvonne Craig - (Batman, Star Trek) - 7 year old me didn't know she was a lesbian but she sure knew she liked batgirl

Master Poll List of the Hot Vintage TV Ladies Bracket

Additional propaganda below the cut

Nichelle Nichols:

She is the original badass babe. She was a black woman in a leading role on TV in the 60s, a trailblazer for black actresses for years to come. She is so beautiful and so awesome.

she's fantastic. have you seen her? paved the way for black actresses on TV even while her lines and scenes were being cut and improvised the most iconic uhura line in the series. (sulu: "I'll save you, fair maiden!" uhura, pushing him away: "sorry, neither!") she's incredibly talented and it's a crime the show didn't give her more screen time (or make her sing more often because she also has a beautiful voice!)

“Sorry, neither” in response to “fair maiden” was ad libbed by her. There’s a lot more I could say but what else do you need??

A sci-fi icon!

She was such a trailblazer, and Uhura was such an important character for so many people to be able to see on TV. Apparently Mae Jemison (the first African American woman to go into space) cited her as a reason she wanted to become an astronaut. She was just an absolute legend!

The story of Martin Luther King telling her not to quit Star Trek gives me chills. Representation matters. “Thank you so much, Dr. King. I’m really going to miss my co-stars.” Dr. King's smile, Nichols recalled, vanished from his face. "He said, 'What are you talking about?'" the actress explained. "I told him. He said, 'You cannot,' and so help me, this man practically repeated verbatim what Gene said. He said, 'Don’t you see what this man is doing, who has written this? This is the future. He has established us as we should be seen. 300 years from now, we are here. We are marching. And this is the first step. When we see you, we see ourselves, and we see ourselves as intelligent and beautiful and proud.' He goes on and I’m looking at him and my knees are buckling. I said, 'I…, I…' And he said, 'You turn on your television and the news comes on and you see us marching and peaceful, you see the peaceful civil disobedience, and you see the dogs and see the fire hoses, and we all know they cannot destroy us because we are there in the 23rd Century.'"

She shared the first interracial kiss on Star Trek, helped propel real life African American women into space-related careers, and looks divine in a mini skirt.

HOW DID UHURA WALK BACKWARDS SO FAR??? WOW!

[alitheakorogane]

Freedom's Protection: Please Forgive Me

Summary: Venti tries to visit you while you're still recovering from your injuries and tries to apologize. At the same time, you found out the truth about the Divine Creator from Venti.

This is the sixth part of Mondstadt's storyline for the Reader Protection Squad SAGAU series.

Warning: There are mentions of blood but it's nothing major. Also, there are instances of grammatical errors and incorrect lore because this was written on a whim.

Note: I apologize for the delay, it's been a month or two since I updated this! This draft was been gathering dust for months and decided to add some ideas little by little. To those who are actually waiting for Archon Venti, just be patient, this was cut into parts so this wouldn't be too long for a chapter, I can assure you he will appear in his Archon form in the next chapter (as of this date). I still had to write them, review the next chapter for errors and place some additional ideas.

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 (current), 7

You woke up with the most pounding headache you had ever felt in your entire life.

You had no clue what happened, as you were still adjusting to the situation you're currently in. With difficulty, you slowly sat up and looked around the place, ignoring the aches and pains you felt, trying not to shake your throbbing head. By the looks of it and the fact that you can smell the lingering scent of disinfectant, it seems that you were placed in some sort of clinic.

You reached your forehead to calm yourself but were surprised to feel some kind of fabric on your head, possibly bandages wrapped on your head.

You were confused as to why you were lying down on a bed in an unfamiliar room when you were supposed on your room. After all, since the pandemic has begun, you're on online modality and you are supposed to be at home right now, playing Genshin or doing something worthwhile to kill some time. You wondered what place you are currently in and why you woke up with a killer headache.

Suddenly the door opened wide, making you nearly jump up off your bed in surprise. A young woman then entered the room, holding a cart full of medical supplies and medicine. By the looks of it, she looks like a nun... a fancy nun who looks like a nurse. You couldn't help but notice how she looks so familiar to you but you couldn't pinpoint what.

As she closed the door behind her, the young woman saw you try to sit up so she rushed to you and abandoned her cart beside her so she could help you get up.

"Thank Barbatos, you are finally awake..." the young nun spoke up as she grabbed a glass of water from the pitcher she had carried. You gratefully received the glass and drank the liquid, feeling the cold water rushing on your parched throat. You were still groggy from being recently awake alongside the throbbing feeling on your head, so your mind was still as blank as a clean slate of paper.

As you focused your sight on the woman in front of you, a plethora of memories regarding your recent escapades in Teyvat suddenly rushed into your mind, causing you to wince over the throbbing pain in your head. The woman, the lovely Deaconess Barbara, noticed your pained expression so she tried to heal you with her Hydro Vision, but it wasn't as effective as you expected it to be. But at least the pain was slightly reduced due to her efforts.

So your unfortunate trau... adventure throughout Tevyat was not a dream after all. It was real as it had been.

"How long have I been asleep?" You groggily asked the young nun as she was preparing to give you some herbal medicine that you assumed the nuns of the Church of Favonius had made them. Of course, they are not as modern as in your time, and had to rely on healing and elemental magic rather than science and technology to cure people in this world.

You then saw her sprinkle some herbs on the glass of purple juice and waved her glowing hand, signaling that she used her Hydro Vision on the drink.

As she had finished preparing the drink, she then sweetly smiled at you as she offered the glass in front of you, "I hope you like it, it's actually Wolfhook juice mixed with some healthy herbs to help you recover. I even made sure that you can't even taste the bitterness of the herbs I freshly plucked a while ago."

You received the drink and looked at it with a hesitant look and a grimace. The young Deaconess had noticed your strange expression so she cutely giggled, "Don't worry, it has no poison on it, I could assure you. After all, I'm a healer by trade."

Then she crossed her arms with her right hand raised in the air as she waved her finger for emphasis, "And to answer your first question, you have been asleep for two weeks. We are even wondering why you slept that long without food or water."

You were flabbergasted as your eyes looked at the nun as if she had grown a second head, and you should have seen your jaw drop if you were in a cartoon, "WHAT?!"

You still can't believe what you have heard, until you remembered how time flies on Teyvat compared to your world and you suspected that even though you were isekai-ed to the fictional world of Teyvat (which is apparently real in some other universe), you were still bound by your world's time.

You found this out when you first came to this world, when you noticed how you can spend days without food or never slept for weeks. After all, according to the game, 24 hours in Teyvat is 24 minutes in yours.

Barbara nodded as her face turned into a serious look, "But of course, I wouldn't be surprised if you do that, but we're still worried. Based on the ancient book our family had treasured for centuries, which was given and written by Lord Barbatos, the Divine Eminence has been gone, probably asleep, for centuries. And you're actually the Cre-"

Suddenly there was a knock on the door, earning a slightly annoyed look from the Deaconess and a curious look on your face, "I'll be right back."

She went to the door and opened it, revealing a tired-looking bard clad in green and gold accents, his cape flowing through a non-existent wind and you were not surprised that he was currently in his mortal bard form. After all, he has an identity to hide.

He seems to be holding a bouquet of fresh Cecilias and a bottle of apple juice in his hands, a well-thought gift that you assumed he possibly stole from Master Diluc's winery basement.

"Ven-Lord Barbatos!" The young Deaconess exclaimed as she bowed gracefully toward the new visitor. You did the flabbergasted look on your face once again, and by the looks of it, you did it a thousand times already ever since you woke up.

The Archon in question, Venti, entered the room, his beautiful face was struck with guilt and self-loathing as he walked towards you and the young nun, who paved way for the Anemo Archon to come inside the room you were in.

"You can call me Venti and you don't need to bow. I am just a regular bard at the moment," he replied to Barbara with a crinkled smile on his young-looking face, as Barbara blushed in embarrassment over her mistake, but you could see the guilt and child-like wonder in her eyes. You can probably guess that she was still thinking about her embarrassing moments with Venti during the Holy Lyre incident.

He then set the apple juice on the tabletop beside your bed, but he looked around for something to put the flowers in. Barbara could notice the bard fidgeting nervously so she offered her help to place the flowers in a vase, her arms now free from medical supplies she had carried a while ago.

Venti thanked the young nun gratefully while giving the flowers and the apple juice to the young woman, who sensed that you needed some time with Venti. She excused herself to grab some nice containers for these beautiful flowers, leaving you and the guilty Archon in the room.

As Barbara was gone, the young Archon was still standing near the door and fidgeting nervously, as his eyes were staring at the ground and his lips quivered as if he was about to cry. You just sat on your bed with your forehead covered in bandages, your eyes looking at him with a sympathetic gaze.

"Just come here beside me, I won't even bite," you teased him, as you patted your right leg in emphasis, signaling him to sit on the chair beside you. The bard hesitated to follow suit, but you made a puppy eye stare at him, complete with a pout, and he then gave up when he saw you still maintaining the look for minutes. He quietly sat on the chair, but he was still bowing his head down, his eyes were still covered under his bangs.

"I'm sorry for hurting you, (Y/N)," the green-clad bard suddenly apologized up to you for the first time since he came here. Your eyes widened as it was the kind of first time seeing Venti nearly breaking up in tears and begging for forgiveness in front of you.

"I...um," you stuttered out, not knowing what to react.

"I know you can't forgive me, I even knew that even my own people can't forgive me for what I have done," he raised his head slightly as his eyes sparkled in unshed tears, "I nearly killed my own people, (Y/N), and I couldn't forgive myself for that. I could have killed lots of innocent people just like what I had done a few centuries ago. I feared that I was starting to become like Decarabian... Worst of all, I could have killed you, even though I know you're not what I have perceived you to be."

You smiled sheepishly as you spoke back, reassuring the bard that you were fine even though there was still a lingering headache caused by his outburst a while ago, "No need to apologize, in fact, I was grateful that you were one of the people who defended me that time! So don't cry, Venti."

The bard just said nothing, as he sniffled with quivered lips, but you could notice the tears started to fall in his blue-green eyes.

"I supposed that you are really involved in the Cataclysm 500 years ago since you said you had experienced killing innocent people a few centuries ago. The Khaenri'ahns, isn't it?"

Venti looked away in shame as he had heard your remarks, making you wince at the words you just released, so you try to salvage the situation, "I don't want to pry, though. I know it's kinda traumatizing for you after all."

To be honest, you never even knew what happened during the Khaenri'ah disaster, as the game was still in the Sumeru patch, and the nation was still mysterious as it was when the game was first released. All you know is the latest dump info about it in the recent patches, where Nahida once said that the six Archons are involved in the Cataclysm, while she was protecting the Irminsul.

"I guess you know all about that, after all, you're the Divine Creator of Teyvat themselves. You were supposed to know as Celestia must have been doing all of this shit in your honor," Venti whispered but you could still hear him, his eyes still looking at the window behind him, "And here I have thought that you're just an imposter."

Your eyes widened once again, for this is the first time you hear him curse, and his tone suddenly filled with a little spite. Also, the words he had said to you made you a little confused, so you asked him with a confused tone, "Why do you say that?"

Venti shook his head with hesitation before he replied to your question, "The blood, you're actually bleeding in your head because you bumped your head to the floor and it actually glittered gold like the legend says. The Divine Creator in the legends of old was supposed to have the blood of pure gold, with constellations shining in their eyes. I dunno about the constellation thing, but the gold blood we had seen coming from you was the legitimate indication that you are really the legendary deity."

"Fortunately, the citizens had been evacuated to safety thanks to the brilliant minds of Acting Grandmaster Jean and Master Diluc, along with other Knights, and that means not everyone knew about you bleeding an aureate color. But even though Bennett and Razor had to carry you to the Cathedral without gaining attention from other people, we need to have someone look at your wounds and protect you while you're still recovering."

You nodded as if you now understood everything, but deep inside, confusion and doubt was still simmering on your mind. You had known your whole life that you were born a regular human, a normal speck among billions, but being the greatest god of Teyvat that can bleed liquid gold? Last time you remembered, your blood was red. You have been in too many blood tests to confirm that.

You theorized that it has something to do with you being isekai-ed to Teyvat. The phenomenon has made your biology change to fit the essence of the game. Then you suddenly remembered how Barbara reacted when she saw Venti.

"But what about you? Based on Barbara's reaction, everyone now knew who you were..."

Venti rubbed his neck with a sheepish look, "Well, it's bound to happen sooner or later, but honestly, I wouldn't expect that I would be revealed while being in an unstable state."

He then smiled brightly but you could see the empty look in his eyes, "But on the bright side, they now gave me free wine and good food to eat for free. But to be honest, I don't really deserve their kindness after what I did as their absentee Archon who suddenly shows up and tries to hurt them."

You nodded again as you looked at your hands which were still clenching on the blanket covering your legs. Since you were just recently conscious after being knocked out for weeks, your memories of the past events were kinda fuzzy.

Yet, you were curious about what happened after you were knocked out, so you asked the bard, causing him to look at you in the eyes, "Can I ask you something?"

Venti nodded as you took a deep breath and the question was now dropped from your lips.

"What happened after I went unconscious?"

-----

Taglist: @vvyeislazzy, @chocolatekuns, @mmajoko, @jaxielous, @mulandi, @code-roevember, @the-real-fandom-person, @dilucpegg3r, @yoascheeksplayin, @kithewanderingme, @justarandomweeblol, @3there4l, @5sos-wdw, @leyla3x0, @totallyntsarcat, @tartarsaucechi1de, @uchihaeirin, @ello-its-me-ya-boi, @konzumeken, @05aaphrodite, @pix-stuff, @osamu-miya-wife11, @bajifairyy, @valka-230, @thedevioussmirk

[little-pondhead]

DPxDC Prompt:

[this is a long one please forgive me]

Bruce lied to the others about his trip through time. Not all of it! Just…one specific thing.

During the early parts of his timeline hijinks, before Tim realized Bruce was still alive, he had a bit of a respite in between his endless time jumps. (Maybe a certain ghost was helping him out.) With a fuzzy memory at best and a strange itch to investigate the unknown, Bruce had been taken in by an old couple who had no kids but wanted to pass on the family name. And who better than a thirty-something amnesiac stranger who could actually be related by blood?

Bruce, with nowhere to go, accepted his new name, grew out his hair, and quickly got accepted into college for engineering. There, he met two of his closest friends; a redheaded woman who could kick his ass and a wet chicken of a man who could also kick his ass. They both made him nostalgic for something he didn’t remember, and that made him sad sometimes, but the two were always there to cheer him up.

Years passed, and Bruce’s life moved on. He settled well into his new name, mourned his parents when the eventually passed, celebrated his wedding with the redhead, and grieved when the last of their trio fell out of touch. He had a daughter, and then a son! They were both so smart, even if they didn’t share the same passion he had for exploring the science behind the afterlife. (Something about the dead just itched his brain in an infuriating way, and Bruce wasn’t one to let sleeping dogs lie. He just had to find out why he was so obsessed with this stuff!)

Eventually, his and his wife’s research yielded results, and that’s when bits of Bruce’s former life started coming back to him. After the portal opened, he spent his days with his head in a fog, oblivious to the world around him as he struggled to continue his work.

Why did he remember a boy named Dick? Who would name their child that? And Jason…who was Jason? That name always made him sad. There were more names, more faces, but none of them were his. He could never remember what his name was supposed to be. All he had was the one his adoptive parents gave him.

His wife was worried. His daughter was struggling. And his son…his son sometimes hurt to look at. Bruce didn’t know why. He knew he was being a terrible father, but something in him wanted to cry whenever he gazed at those clear blue eyes, just like his own. His son was too smart for his own good, and realized his dad had started avoiding him.

The day his son purposely left the room so Bruce could relax was one that hurt him even now.

Time kept passing, and Bruce was becoming anxious. His brain fog was as bad as its ever been. He had constant headaches, and his hands kept twitching for nonexistent tools on his belt. Something was going to happen. Something had happened. A voice in his head told him it was all his fault.

So in an attempt to clear his head and spend more time with his family, Bruce insisted they all go to dinner at the local diner. His son invited his friends. Even better! More people meant more distractions from his messed-up thoughts. He wouldn’t spiral with the kids around.

And then something exploded.

The last thing Bruce remembered was his son’s (green??) eyes widening in fear and horror as something yanked him violently backwards. He fell farther than expected, through a portal and a green sky full of black stars. A hand tightened on the back of his jumpsuit, hauling his giant body through another portal with a roar of a motorcycle.

And then…and then…and then what?

All of a sudden, Bruce was sprawled in some mud in the middle of a forest, dizzy and coughing from the explosion’s fumes. He’s singed all over, and his ears still rang from the force of the…what happened again?

Bruce sits up, and all of a sudden, he’s in the era of the pilgrims. His memory has been wiped clean, his new name and family forgotten thanks to the hands of time. His adventures through the time stream continue, with him assuming many different identities throughout many different decades.

The memories of being Jack Fenton don’t return to him until he’s back in 2004, once again in his own time and living as Bruce Wayne. A glowing green sticky note informs him that “The Nasty Burger Incident” had just occurred. His “other self” just had his ass dragged to another era, so the time loop would continue.

It also informed him that he had an orphaned son crying for him at Bruce’s own grave.

Well, his forgotten son (that sounded bad, even to him) was supposed to be about fourteen now, right? Bruce hopes he doesn’t have to fight anyone for custody.

[stem-sister-scuffle]

STEM SISTER SCUFFLE: ROUND 3 MASHUP 3

GLaDOS (Portal) vs Lup (The Adventure Zone)

GLaDOS is a Quantum Physicist and Behavioural Psychologist!

Lup is an Astrophysicist and Extraplaner Researcher! (she researches inter-dimensional space travel)

Lup fanart made by @herbgerblin

Why you should vote for each contestant:

GLaDOS:

"i’m not sure how to explain this one. she’s an evil computer who makes a woman do fucked up tasks that all involve a portal gun in some way. evil computer woman i love you :3"

"She's witty, fun, they had to restrain her intelligence and it didn't work-"

"She should be able to kill everyone forever. Anyways she runs aperture she loves science so much it transcended lives and identity. It’s just what she does"

"she kills people 👍 shes cool and i like her"

"…. I mean she’s categorically not but it would be funny to include her. Again, it would be Very Funny"

"mad scientist robot representation with a complex emotional arc through multiple video games"

"She might not know what the point of her tests are, but she sure is good at making them. Bonus points for being hot"

"Managed a massive and highly advanced scientific facility in which she ran tests and experiments long after the fall of human civilization. Chell/GLaDOS <3"

"She’s GLaDOS"

Lup:

"badass trans woman who is not only a highly competent astrophysicist who was chosen to be part of the first extra-planar expedition, she is also an incredibly powerful evocation (blowing shit up) wizard and uses her powers to full effect. in addition she has, along with her husband, transformed herself into an incredibly powerful lich, just all around badass and competent woman in stem we love to see it"

"Literally studied space and inter-dimensional travel and magic and necromancy for 100 years. She was part of her home planet’s first inter-dimensional expedition on a crew of 7. She’s got that transfem swag and literally became a lich for love and science and to save the universe"

"She’s incredible. She’s trans, she’s a lich, she and her husband pined for decades before getting together, she’s an elf, she’s a twin, but that’s all just spices in the cake. She’s genuinely a genius and a total badass and is so full of love. She is the first character i thought of for submitting to a women in stem bracket because she’s just so iconic. Lup Adventurezone i would die for you"

[the-witchhunter]

DP x DC: Stuff about Alfred Pennyworth

Just some facts about our favorite butler, Alfred Thaddeus Crane Pennyworth.

-His full name is Alfred Thaddeus Crane Pennyworth

-He’s not as old as you probably think. He’s only 20 years older than Bruce, which would make him early 60′s at most currently. He was in his mid 40′s when batman started.

-He owns a shotgun. While Bruce doesn't like guns, Alfred doesn’t have such convictions, and is entirely ready to use it. 

-Former member of MI-5. Essentially, he was special ops, has serious military training and was part of the British counterintelligence agency that combats terrorism and espionage aka he was one of the guys that stopped spies. Some continuities had it where he was MI-6 instead.

-Has killed before. Special ops, remember?

-Former actor. He had a bit of an acting career after he left MI-5. This lasted until his father, Jarvis Pennyworth, requested he serve the Wayne family on his deathbed.

-He has a daughter, Julia Pennyworth, an agent of the Special Reconnaissance Regiment. She briefly took over his duties helping the Batclan, It was a whole thing involving her not respecting him because he went from MI-5 to working as a butler for Bruce Wayne before an Identity reveal. 

- He is also highly respected by those heroes who are aware of his existence, including Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern and the original Teen Titans.

-Was romantically involved with Dr. Leslie Thompkins. Not much came from that aside from a few dates, but they dated.

-Proficient in emergency medical techniques, acting, mechanical and computer sciences, on top of being one hell of a butler

- While not as skilled at hand-to-hand combat as Bruce Wayne, Alfred is nearly as resourceful. Batman: Gotham Adventures 16 has him kidnapped, only to readily escape and overcome his captors without even mussing his suit. It is later mentioned that he has overcome 27 kidnapping attempts.

-Reads the Artimis Fowl novels

So yeah, Alfred is the best, he’s a hell of an actor, a resourceful former secret agent that has dated Dr. Thompkins and has a secret agent child with an unnamed woman

Why am I tagging this DP x DC? Simply fertilizing the soil. Not everyone is as familiar with the character, especially with how confusing continuity is. Me rambling on is simply an effort to both educate, and give creators in this crossover more things to work with. Maybe it inspires someone, maybe they use this information just to add a little something. Maybe they think, “huh, that’s interesting” and never have to use it

Also I’m just glad we collectively ignore the fact Alfred is dead in current continuity. If you didn’t know, Alfred is dead after Bane snapped his neck and killed off one of the best characters. So I guess we could tie it in with Danny meeting him as a ghost,

 Alfred haunting wayne manor just to get Bruce to take care of himself 

[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

re: the text's sort of feints towards darkness, i was thinking about this in the context of the burning question, Why Do No Dracula Adaptations Bear Any Meaningful Resemblance To The 1897 Novel Dracula By Bram Stoker, actually - how part of why it feels so incredibly like a time capsule of an extremely specific historical moment is that it kind of straddles two literary landscapes, both of which were in the air at the time of its publication, but one of which was sort of on its way out. the horror of dracula feels very modern (and the gore of it seems to have been particularly so at the time - in this selection of contemporary reviews, both admirers and detractors note that the book is maybe the grossest thing they've ever read), and of course the text is itself enamored of modernity, but the characters are, like, incredibly old-fashioned: if the plot is the nineteenth century up-to-date, the cast is the nineteenth century with a vengeance. i don't just mean their beliefs or behaviors, although, like, yeah - i mean that there's a kind of thoroughly sweet wholesomeness to them at their core that i don't think ever really stopped being written but that does nearly completely drop out of, like, The Anglophone Literary Canon not long after dracula was published (and that "nearly" is covering both for the fact that i would not consider myself particularly well read, and for the fact that some might consider tolkien canonical).

which, i mean, some (a lot) of this is just about the development of mass market paperbacks and the emergence over time of genre writing as Genre Writing, etc. and some of the dracula adaptation thing is definitely just that one guy made a movie a particular way that people thought slapped and subsequent adaptations have to a large degree been adaptations of that more than of the novel itself. but i do keep thinking about nathaniel hawthorne's midcentury complaint that america was given over to "a damned mob of scribbling women," about what a college professor of mine called the "masculinization" of the novel in the early twentieth century, which the short ta-nehisi coates post i found to remind of me the exact hawthorne phrase also reminds me is about the novel as a form moving out of the realm of trash and into respectability, and thinking, you know - through a certain lens, the lens of What Is Gender, Like, Culturally... for a book about 700 guys doing science and adventures, dracula is kind of a girly novel! it's florid, it's sentimental, it's a story about a battle with evil but somehow curiously a very domestic novel, too - so much of it is just people in houses talking! it is quite literally a tale of women's work, in that the in-text explanation for the existence of the text itself is the work done by a scribbling woman. and so i do kind of wonder if that's a factor in why, despite the book's ongoing popularity and the character's incredible fame, people seem not inclined to pick up what stoker was putting down when creating their own dracula tales: they want to make something that is kind of dudelier than dracula, despite being so much a book about so many dudes doing dude stuff, actually is.

[writingwithcolor]

Black/white interracial lesbian couple on alien road trip

nathaliebjoern asked:

What concerns would A have going on a roadtrip in USA in an alien/sci-fi tourist stops type way (circa 2013)? A is Black, grew up and lives in Denmark, parents are from African-country-yet-to-be-determined (possibly Ethiopia, but I do take suggestions here), going to USA with (white) girlfriend. Example: they're worried about being two young girls on a road trip (exacerbated by being wlw) so they are taking self defence before leaving (bonus: gets convenient/relevant later when they have to fight sudden, real aliens). Is there some specific concern A would have (bonus if relevant for alien hunting or car chasing adventures)? What precautions would she take or concerns might she have? Any concerns she might discuss with gf, even if there are no precautions to take? Or just ruminate over in internal monologue, i guess, but i want them to have a healthy relationship with lots of communication lol. She's the planning, overprepared type! I want the focus to be on their Alien fighting road trip adventure and coming of age lesbianism in the background, but i want to still acknowledge any issues A might have.

"I want the focus to be on their Alien fighting road trip adventure and coming of age lesbianism in the background, but i want to still acknowledge any issues A might have."

How far the world has progressed in terms of discrimination in your alien sci-fi world is up to you. Based on your description, racism and homophobia still exists. Perhaps it just isn't as much of a problem in this setting or story. Or encounters would depend on the town so your characters avoid and don't happen upon areas that may be a problem for the couple. Either way, it is not erasure to have a story where discrimination isn't something the characters encounter. I find this to be especially true for science fiction and fantasy.

As a Black woman who likes to travel, and in an interracial relationship, I take certain precautions before I travel. One way I do this is to research the travel experiences shared from Black women and mixed couples who've been to the places that I'm considering. I also look into news stories and reports about any incidents in the area.

This could also apply if you're LGBTQIA, in an interracial relationship and so on. As your character is a planning, super prepared type, it'd make sense if they mapped out their stops to make sure they were interracial couple / Black / LGBTQIA+ friendly and avoided any places that were not.

Also, what "friendly" or safe looks like may vary. Not all travel experiences are blatant in their discrimination or othering behavior.

What general attitudes might range from: ideas

The travelers blend in. There's enough diversity and tourism where you don't get an unwelcome attitude from the townspeople.

Some stares, second-glances and curiousity, but little to no blatant hostility.

Strong "celebrity-status" othering, to the point of being touched, pictures snapped of you, asked to poise for photos if asked at all, given free gifts, etc. (Note: this can be quite uncomfortable)

Stares and standoffish behavior from locals, but no incidents of violence.

Bold-faced hostility, such as intimidating glares, recording, taunts, yelling, and possible physical encounters like spitting.

Explicit threats, violence, being warned to leave, high risks of bodily harm.

Note that this doesn't mean everyone in a place would all act this way. I've traveled where there were stares of curiosity in one city or standoffish behavior in others, but it didn't extent to everyone in those places, staff, and so on. It also didn't sum up every single encounter. I've even heard tales of the very hostile places where a person warns the traveler that they should leave to avoid trouble from others in the town, usually out of kind warning. One can travel anywhere, really, and come across hostile people, and in that same town experience kindness.

Applying these travel experiences your story

The characters just mentioning that they've done their research and will avoid these kinds of places with known negative experiences should be enough. You don't need an actual experience of discrimination to play out, if you'd rather avoid that.

If you did want to include something without including an active experience, you could bring up the matter by mentioning the history of a place. For example, they learn some info and tell their partner that "Blank, Tennessee was once a sundown town and would've been unsafe for us ninety years ago." Or they mention some historical event that happened at a certain place, possibly even visiting a historic monument or museum.

I hope this helps; your story sounds fun!

~Mod Colette

[thenerdyindividual]

Want stories featuring queer characters in fantasy, science fiction, or horror settings, where being queer is central to the character but not the only thing they have going on? Let me introduce you to my list of podcasts!

To start we have Welcome to Night Vale. You’ve likely heard of it thanks to the tumblr sexy man poll, or if you’re old school tumblr like I am. It’s a classic for a reason, it kicked off the fiction podcast renaissance and was queer from the jump.

Welcome to Night Vale is an episodic podcast taking the form of radio broadcasts from a strange desert town called Night Vale that appears to be in a parallel universe to ours. It follows the bizarre occurrences within the town and the oppressive government’s clumsy attempts to cover them up.

How is it queer? The show also follows the personal life of radio show host Cecil Palmer who met new-to-town scientist Carlos, and “fell in love instantly”. Not only are they now married, they’ve adopted a child together.

Alice Isn’t Dead

From the creators of Welcome to Night Vale, Alice Isn’t Dead is a horror fiction podcast that follows Keisha, a woman who became a long haul truck driver to go in search of the wife (Alice) she thought was dead, but discovered was alive. In the process she uncovers monsters lurking among us and a massive government conspiracy trying to hide the truth.

How is it queer? As stated, the inciting incident is that Keisha discovers that her wife is secretly alive.

Dimension 20: Fantasy High

A dungeons and dragons actual play show. This season is set in a 1980s John Hughes-esque fantasy high school called the Arthur Aguefort Adventuring Academy. It follows six high schoolers starting their first day of freshman year as they form their adventuring party and try to uncover the mystery of why girls at their school keep going missing.

How is it queer? Kristen Applebees is the cleric of the party, and most of her arc in the first season is based in the struggle between honoring her religious upbringing and the god that gave her her magic, and realizing she’s a lesbian. Fig Faeth (the bard of the group) does not have a romance arc in this season, however in season 2 she does end up in a romantic relationship with another woman, and much of her arc in that relationship is based around the insecurities hidden behind her rock and roll persona. Riz Gukgak (the rogue of the group) does not use the term asexual on screen, however it is clear in a conversation in season 2 where he discusses feeling awkward about not being horny when all his other friends are. He was later confirmed as asexual by dungeon master Brennan Lee Mulligan.

Dimension 20: The Unsleeping City

Another story with the same players as Fantasy High. This story takes place in a fantastical New York City where the waking world intersects with the world of dream and magic. The story follows six adventurers as they struggle to keep the two worlds in balance with each other, and prevent the big bad from ruining the world of dreams forever. It’s Brennan’s love letter to New York.

How is it queer? Pete Conlan (the sorcerer of the group) is a bit of a dirt bag drug dealer who is struggling to learn to take on the responsibility of being the voice for the dreams. He is also a trans man. His awakening into the magical New York occurs because his dad attempts to deadname him, and he uses his magic powers to fill his dad’s mouth with bubbles and blast him away.

Not Another D&D Podcast Campaign 1

This is another dungeons and dragons actual play set in a more traditional D&D world. It follows the story of three adventurers living in the shadows of the saviors of Bahumia that came before them. Only to realize one of those saviors might not have retired, and is up to no good. They will have to save Bahumia from one of its saviors.

How is it queer? Beverly Toegold The Fifth (Paladin of the group) is the fantasy equivalent of a Boy Scout and ends up in a romantic relationship with another boy from his troop. (They’re both meant to be 16 by the end of the campaign I believe.) Moonshine Cybin (the Druid of the group) is just generally horny for everyone and anyone that impresses her, but she does also spend her last night before the final battle hooking up with Hardwon’s (the third party member) sister in law.

Not Another D&D Podcast Campaign 2

This story is set in the world of Eldermourne which delves heavily into the aesthetic of gothic horror. It follows three adventurers as they go in search of a missing witch that will help them protect Eldermourne from the conflicting factions of gods and religious extremists each trying to take the world and remake it in the way that suits them.

How is it queer? A major thrust of the story is that Fia Boginya (the wizard and cleric multiclass of the group) once saved her dear friend Irina from execution, but they end up needing Irina’s magic to protect the world. The party goes in search of her, and Fia admits to having always been in love with Irina, even when they were just children.

The Adventure Zone: Balance

Another D&D actual play. This one is set in a fantasy world that draws heavily on both fantasy and other aesthetics. The three adventurers encounter an extremely powerful and destructive magical object, and manage to capture it. In doing so they are inducted into the organization called the Bureau of Balance, and are sent on missions to recover the other objects of power that have been scattered across the land. There is more to the characters than even they know.

How is it queer? Taako the Wizard (one of the adventurers) ends up in a romantic relationship with the Grim Reaper who in this world is a man. There is also a romantic relationship between two women who are also members of the Bureau of Balance that hangs out in the background of the story. A trans woman is also prevalent in the story, but explaining anything else about her reveals major spoilers for the campaign, but trust me she is narratively important.

The Adventure Zone: Amnesty

This is another actual play show, but it uses the Monster of the Week system that was created using shows like Scooby Doo, X-Files, and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It is set in the fictional town of Kepler, West Virginia and the Monongahela National Forest. Cryptids are real and they all hang out in Kepler. Three friends band together to stop monsters with ill intent from destroying the town, and learn more about the world that parallels theirs. It is Dungeon Master Griffin McElroy’s love letter to the West Virginia town he and his brothers grew up in.

How is it queer? Aubrey Little is the magic user of the group and identifies as bisexual. She ends up in a romantic relationship with a vampire girl in town.

Campaign Skyjacks

It is another role playing game actual play. I’m not entirely clear on what system they are using, as a lot of it is the creation of the game master. It is set in a fantasy world where crossing the oceans has become too treacherous, so pirates, privateers, and sailors alike have all taken to the sky in airships. The story follows four crew members of the ship the Uhuru as they try to make the ship profitable all while trying to hide from the rest of the crew that the captain has long since died and the doctor has been puppet-ing his corpse for weeks now.

How is it queer? I am still in the early stages of the podcast so there may be more queer characters later, but off the bat there is Gable who is the quarter master of the ship. Gable is non-binary.

These are not the only podcasts that fit the bill, but these are the ones I listen to. I’d also like to give a special mention to most other seasons of Dimension 20. There are a ton more, and you’re likely to get at least one queer character per season. However, I wanted to keep it to things you could find for free. Fantasy High and The Unsleeping City are both free on YouTube, but all other Dimension 20 seasons are on the streaming service dropout tv (which I do recommend getting because they do a lot of other good shows too.)

Feel free to add more shows in your reblogs!

[iamthedukeofurl]

My favorite take on any Comic Book character is probably the very specific version of Doctor Doom that reveals that, like, he'll always be an egocentric jerk, but he's primarily a SUPERVILLAIN because 40% of his brain is constantly devoted to a massive petty grudge against a guy who happens to be a Superhero. A comparison could be made to Lex Luthor, but I feel like Lex Luthor is probably always destined for Supervillainy. He hates what Superman represents, both in that he's jealous that Superman was born with power Lex could never hope to match, and in that Superman's selflessness clashes with his self-centered industrialist worldview, but Superman himself is just the most visible symbol of that. The same could be said of Wonder Woman or any number of other Heroes. If Superman wasn't around, Lex would probably be beefing with The Flash or somebody. Superheroism as a concept is antithetical to Lex Luthor, and the times he's flirted with becoming a Superhero himself are usually doomed because 1) He's inherently shitty at the "Hero" part of being a Superhero, and 2) He can't be The Best Superhero and that's what really grinds his gears. Doctor Doom isn't like that. He hates Reed Richards personally and individually, he did so before Reed gained stretchy powers, and he would do so even if Reed Richards wasn't a supergenius scientist-adventurer-superhero. If Reed Richards didn't exist, Doom would probably fulfill his role in the superhero ecosystem as the guy everybody goes to when they need super-science help. He'd be more of a jerk about it than Reed Richards is, but he'd do it. Somewhere there's a hilarious universe where Reed Richards is just, like, a college professor and his ex-roommate is one of Earth's Mightiest Heroes who keeps calling him to tell him how much he sucks.

[morally-grey-girlbosses]

Propaganda under the cut.

Betty Grof:

okay so picture this. you're a graduate student living with your fiance and he finds a magic crown that drives him crazy while he has it on. you run away frightened during this initial incident, and he never sees you again. one thousand years later he regains his self after being consumed by the crown and makes a time portal to apologise. you leave him in the past for him in the future and jump through the portal. you beatup an antimagic monster and dissapear. you become the apprentice to a powerful but mad wizard and steal his powers in a magical ritual, rendering him normal and you with the key components of magic - madness and sadness. you girlboss around for a while, you steal your boo's magic crown to try reprogram it and create an ai clone of yourself inside of it, but your plans get foiled but his vampire sort of daughter and her science nerd girlfriend. the ai of you and the him inside the crown hang out though. you try to go out on a date with him so he remembers. it doesnt work. after so many failed plans you eventually decide to try and just approach him as him. you've changed, so has he. maybe betty and simon are gone but magic woman and the ice king can have a future. his roommate freezes you and uses you as a magic battery to cast a horrible spell that transforms the world into an elemental landscape, where individuals are overwhelmed by their elements. he and some other guys save you and unfreeze you. you come up with a plan to reverse the elemental spell, and get the other guys to do your bidding. you betray them and cast a time spell to stop him from ever putting on the crown. you get foiled and sent to mars. the guy whose powers you stole is now the king. as penance you have to fill a pit with sand grain by grain. one of those guys and his brother are trying to save the other guy and you go through a freaky temple with them, where you confront how much you've given up for your lost fiance. you learn the wrong lesson. you summon the elder embodiment of chaos in an attempt to harness its power. it doesnt work. the world is going to be destroyed. you and he and one of those other guys are being digested in golb's belly, reverted to your original forms. you reunite with him - not magic woman and the ice king, betty and simon. you make out a bunch. harmony through song punches a hole in the chaos god's belly and you can escape. you stay. his crown has reverted to its base wishing state. you push him through and make your deepest wish. you wish for the power to keep him safe. you become one with the chaos god, merging with his very being. you are betty. you are golb. you have the power to keep simon safe, and you have lost yourself for it again. but it is done. the end of the world is over. he will go to the ends of the multiverse to search for you. you are gone. yeah i just think shes kind of a girlboss and definitely morally grey and itd be cool if she was here

Evelyn Wang:

Homophobic mother learns to accept her gay daughter by acquiring multiverse powers. Goes a bit over board with the nihilism at one point and ruins everyone's (everywhere all at once) lives but fixes it in the end. Makes her husband (the sweetest man in the world) sad multiple times in the movie because she feels her life would have been better without him but eventually realizes she hit the jackpot. A girlboss because of how much of a girlfailure she is ("Most people only have a few significant alternate life paths so close to them. But you, here, you're capable of anything because you're so bad at everything. You have so many goals you never finished, dreams you never followed. You're kiving your worst you.”)