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welcometothejianghu · 10 months

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Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching. Today's choice: 琅琊榜/Nirvana in Fire.

Nirvana in Fire is a 2015 historical series best described as either a complicated succession drama set in the premodern Chinese imperial palace, or the story of a man who didn't die a decade ago and has decided to make it everyone else's problem.

And really, I almost feel silly giving my glib little summary, because Nirvana in Fire is so well-known of a property. It's a classic for a reason, and that reason is that it's legitimately very good. This show is what happens when you adapt a solid story, get a bunch of very talented actors, and throw a huge amount of money at it. It's incredibly popular and highly acclaimed, and it earned all of the hype.

Still, while I bet there are few people adjacent to c-drama stuff who've never heard of Nirvana in Fire, I'm sure there are plenty who haven't watched it. After all, it looks like one of those slow, serious shows with a lot of ponderous talking and no joy. If that's the impression you've been given, I could imagine looking at the 54-episode commitment and saying, I don't need that in my life.

I am here to tell you you're wrong. It is a banger of a show. It's tense. It's funny. It's heartbreaking. It’s exceptionally clever. It’s jaw-droppingly stupid. It’s romantic. It’s tragic. It has smart plots and bizarre subplots. And that's not even touching the thing with the yeti.

So in case you're one of those people who's heard of Nirvana in Fire, but has put off watching it for one reason or another, I'm here with five reasons I think you should try it.

1. Epic Shit

Did you like the Lord of the Rings? More specifically, did you really like the second Peter Jackson film? Great, then you're all set for this.

I guess I could have called this Game of Thrones without the dragons, but that's not actually the vibe at all. Game of Thrones is much more sensational and salacious, with all the blood and butts and what-not. The Tolkien comparison is more apt, I think, because Nirvana in Fire is equally about as wholesome as you can get in a property where dudes are still getting stabbed all the time.

This is a show about vengeance. And yeah, justice for the fallen, sure, that's fine too. But mostly it's about a bunch of good people joining forces to make sure the bastards who did wrong pay, with their lives as necesary.

The problem, though, is that these bastards are incredibly powerful, which means that a pure brute-force approach isn't going to work. Accordingly, this quickly becomes a story about the power of smart teamwork to exact retribution on some people who can (and did!) legally get away with murder -- and our heroes are some of the people with their necks most on the line if anything goes wrong.

Don't let the Middle Earth comparison fool you into thinking this is all epic swordfights. It's not. (I mean, for one thing, as well-funded as this project is, it doesn't have Peter Jackson Money.) The vast majority of the tension in the show comes from dialogue and slow, terrible realizations. The fight scenes are almost a relief from the nail-biting intensity of intimate conversations about getting a letter from somebody's ex-wife or returning a book.

All told, the show has that incredible almost-RPG vibe of going through all the little subquests and cutscenes you find along the way to defeat the final boss. The plot carefully unravels a multi-tendriled mystery told to you by people in incredible costumes. It doesn't get much more epic than that.

(Nirvana in Fire is also a cautionary tale about how you should be very careful with who gets invited to your birthday party.)

2. A chronically ill protagonist

Okay, right in the first episode, it is established that the main character has three whole completely different names and an old nickname. I'm going to call him Mei Changsu for the duration of this rec post, but let the record show that I could just have easily gone with one of the other three.

What you learn in that same first episode is that Mei Changsu used to be a palace insider, the cocky son of a noble family, only now nearly everyone he used to know thinks he's dead. Also, he's not far off from being actually dead -- he has an unspecified terminal condition that's mostly managed, provided he stays in his little mountain hideaway with his handsome doctor bestie and doesn't return to his old stomping ground and start kicking over hornets' nests.

So guess what he's about to do.

I have to make a note of how brilliant the casting is here: Hu Ge is an action actor! He is a kickpuncher of a man! And I think it's great that you can sort of see his frustration, as well as Mei Changsu's, at having to spend the whole series wrapped in countless layers of fabric and/or lying in bed while everyone around him gets to be the badass action heroes.

Mei Changsu's not faking it, either -- he's actually dying. He expends his energy where he thinks it's necessary, and sometimes that means he has to spend the following week in bed. He's constantly frustrated with himself for what he can't do anymore. He's racing a clock, and that clock is his own failing body. If he dies, the only hope anyone here has for justice dies with him.

He gets two love interests that the show treats pretty much equally. One's a lady general who wasn't even a love interest in the book. The other's the handsome prince who was initially going to be his textual romantic partner in same book, until the author hopped genres from danmei to general historical drama. I can't even call this a love triangle, because there's no competition. He just gets a wife and a husband -- in that he gets neither, because circumstances and his own illness keep him distant from them. He lies to both of then about his condition (among other things). He wants to be with them both and knows he can't be with either. And they in turn have to learn to accept what of him they can and can't have.

(Also, Nihuang (her) and Jingyan (him) are both incredibly gorgeous, which is exactly what bisexual genius Mei Changsu deserves.)

Obviously this isn't a perfect representation of life with chronic illness, largely because Mei Changsu is an incredily wealthy man who lives in a universe with what's basically magic medicine. However, I've seen the story's treatment of him and his condition resonate with a lot of chronically ill viewers, so even with the fantasy layer on it, there's definitely something there.

3. Dave

I have already told the story of how Meng Zhi became "Dave," but long story short, he's such a Dave that I legitimately forget his character's real name. He embodies Daveness. He's The Ultimate Dave.

Dave is an excellent fighter, a loyal friend -- and a terrible liar. He's possbly the only straightforward character in the entire show. When he's asked to be duplicitous, he's comically bad at it. Dave will never do a heel turn. I was misled at first by his semi-evil facial hair, but I have seen the error of my ways. Dave is pure lawful good.

And the reason I list Dave as such a selling point is that having a Dave means you always know what's going on. This is because Dave never knows what's going on, and he has no ego about that, so he asks questions, and other characters have to explain to him what just happened, and that is how you figure out what's going on.

It's an incredibly smart move on the drama's part, because some of the (very fun) schemes are so complicated that there's no way for you, the viewer, to understand them just by watching. Without the internal monologues and omniscent narration of a book, the machinations are opaque. You need things explained -- but why would the schemers explain their schemes? Well, Dave needs some exposition, so here you go.

So if you're worried that you might be left feeling stupid by a show where so many sneaky people are hatching so many complex plans, worry not! Like the good man he is, Dave has your back.

4. A Million Amazing Antagonists

If you like bad guys, this is a show for you. This show has brilliant bad guys all the way down. It has bad guys at every turn. It has bad guys for every taste. Welcome to Big Liang's Big Bad Guy Emporium, where we guarantee you'll walk out of here with a bad guy you like, or your money back!

(And yes, this set of pictures is also to say that their costume budget was entirely well-spent.)

Without getting too far into spoilers, I will say that the basic situation underlying the whole series is this: The emperor has done a lot of bad things, and he has enlisted a bunch of people's help in hiding those bad things, so much so that many of those other people have done even more bad things the emperor didn't even know about -- and then everyone has gone to great lengths to cover those up as well. Our protagonists spend the whole series unraveling this colossal shitshow and bringing people to task for their crimes.

So really, if you're going to spend 54 episodes taking down the baddies, they've got to be baddies you love to see taken down. And these are -- in part because all of them have crystal-clear, rock-solid motivations for their actions. Nobody here is a moustache-twirling comic-book-villain baddie. They're all bad for reasons that are very understandable in their individual contexts. And not a single one of them is going to go down without a fight.

5. World's Best Mom

(Sidebar: The fact that four out of five of my reasons to watch the show are individual or groups of characters should be your strongest indicator that this is an intensely character-driven story.)

This is not a Dead Mom Show. Okay, some moms are dead, but mostly this is a Moms Are Alive And Often Cause Problems Show, which is a lot of what makes the palace drama so delicious. But there is one Good Mom who stands out above all the rest: Consort Jing.

Played with perfect grace and devastating politeness by the stunning Liu Mintao, Consort Jing is a skilled doctor and excellent baker who starts the show with a low-level status among the women of the palace. She swallows down all kinds of mistreatment because she's not in a place to oppose it -- and when she can retaliate, it must only be through soft power. She loves her jock son with all her heart, but because of both their relatively poor positions in the hierarchy, she doesn't get to see him all that much. She wants to be an asset to him, while all the time she has to fear becoming a liability.

She is also the smartest person in any room that she's in, unless she's in a room with Mei Changsu, and even then it may be a tie.

There are lots of great characters in the show that I could have highlighted here, and plenty of them are women, but Consort Jing in particular never ceases to impress me. She is trapped in a gilded cage, married to a man who [lengthy list of spoilers that are traumatic to her in particular], and held hostage by how every time she even looks like she's out of line, it puts both her and her boy in danger. She's the most vulnerable of any of our good guys. Kind of like Wang Zhi, she's got to be clever or she's dead.

Consort Jing is not part of Mei Changsu's original plan. She figures out his plan and makes herself part of it -- and entirely remotely, as she and he aren't even in the same room until episode 40 or so. She puts herself in great danger to make sure he succeeds, not because it will necessarily do her any good, but because Jingyan needs him. This woman has been captain of the Mei Changsu/Jingyan ship for like twenty years already.

Oh, and did I mention her outfits?

I love you, Consort Mom.

Are you ready to watch it yet?

Get it on Viki! Get it on YouTube! Get it on YouTube but in a different playlist! (And also maybe get it on Amazon? Not in my region, but maybe in yours.)

I will warn you that it does take off running -- I think I saw someone say it introduces nineteen characters in the first episode? I was worried that I'd be too innundated by situations and flashbacks and names to be able to follow. By the second or third episode, though, I was rolling with it. So if you feel like you're struggling at the beginning, stick with it a bit. See if you don't feel it start to click.

...Man, reading over this post has left me going, oh, but I missed that! and that! and that guy! And yeah, the truth is that there are just so many great things about the show that limiting myself to only five (and being limited to only thirty images) was tough. I'm sure that people reblogging will add their own must-see elements.

Truly, this is a show that deserves its reputation. It may not be for everyone, but if this is the kind of thing that you like, it is a shining example of that thing.

Besides, you have to love a production where everyone was clearly having just a whole lot of fun being big ol' costumed dorks.

#nirvana in fire #lang ya bang #琅琊榜 #i made this #rec post

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warpcoreweirdness · 28 days

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just finished season 2 of Lower Decks and i'm SO glad i tried this show again

i actually started the show a while ago, but the constant easter eggs put me off.

(i still don't know how non-Trekkie viewers are meant to get the jokes where the punchline is "reference!! 😂", but lots of people enjoy it so ymmv).

i stopped a few minutes into episode 2 after Rutherford agrees to quit his job as an engineer so he can watch the Trivoli pulsar with Tendi.

i honestly thought it was going to be a storyline about a guy giving up a job he loves and making his boss angry so that he can spend time with a female friend he has a crush on, because that's the plotline i've been conditioned to expect from tv. i wasn't feeling excited about the show, so i put it on pause.

but if i'd watched for about two more seconds before noping out for a few months, i would've seen this:

when i started watching again, i realised that the episodes never bog themselves down in drawn-out, uncomfortable storyline or character staples - they're actually incredibly well-written, tightly paced, and tell their stories in just the right amount of time. Rutherford wants to be Tendi's friend (at least for now), his boss Billups is really supportive, and Tendi brings a PADD into the Jefferies tube so they can both do what they enjoy, separately but together.

another great part about that scene with Rutherford and his boss is something that Lower Decks does a lot, which is make jokes that actually rely on subverting audience expectations. a big example - and a way of referencing other parts of the Star Trek franchise that does work for me - is when the creators gently poke fun at or subvert common story beats, emotional arcs, or dramatic moments from other parts of Trek.

like when Rutherford loses his memory and Tendi is excited to get to know him again, rather than devastated that he doesn't remember her.

or when they save themselves from being smooshed by Dooplers by dramatically ejecting the warp core of their tiny model starship.

or when Tendi goes on an arc of significant personal development over the course of one (1) whole episode.

they're general enough that even people who haven't seen other Star Trek shows (or movies) can still recognise and appreciate them.

beyond this, the show also has great moments where they (lovingly) cast a light on some of the flaws and foibles in the franchise, often in subtle or comedic ways.

like showing people in beep chairs living their best lives (in contrast to TOS and SNW's view of the beep chair as a tragic, doomsday fate for Pike).

or using Tendi to comment on Trek's depiction of Orions specifically as all pirates and slavers, and alien cultures more generally as monocultures.

or even just acknowledging that Trek shows mostly focus on the bridge crew doing heroic first contact-esque adventures, when that can't be all there is to Starfleet.

heck, they even have Rutherford go on a journey of acceptance and self-discovery after a permanent memory wipe (in contrast to Uhura in TOS, where it's never mentioned again).

another reason i really appreciate the show is that the creators have taken the time to think through what a more inclusive future could look like, in ways that are noticeably lacking or absent in many other Trek shows:

beyond exploring diversity through explicit identity representation (which is still very important), it does this through its world building as well.

i love this communal sonic shower scene for what it says about gender and body politics in Trek. in the future, why would we still separate bathrooms and changing rooms by gender? and why would we have the same views and expectations around bodies that we (by "we" i mean Western countries) do now?

this short scene dismantles the idea that nudity is inherently sexual, that gender is binary and biological, that some genders can't be trusted around other genders while naked, and that heterosexuality is the default (and when you bring dozens of alien species into the mix, why wouldn't we have more and newer ways of thinking about gender?). it even has a little mention that Boimler prefers not to shower with others, leaving space for people to act however feels most comfortable for them.

it's such a little thing, but after years spent (lovingly) yelling at the screen during TNG, TOS, DS9, etc saying, "why are they assuming everyone is straight? WHY would people be this sexist?", i noticed it immediately and appreciated it immensely.

(this isn't related to the storytelling, but i also have to say - the animation in Lower Decks is so pretty???):

this isn't a perfect show, but it's funny, has fantastic storytelling, and it loves the source material without worshipping it. (which is not something i expected to say, given how it started).

plus i love these characters SO MUCH.

so far, so very good 🤞.

(image descriptions in alt text)

#*#star trek #star trek lower decks #lower decks #tv shows

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partycatty · 7 months

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drunkenly sending oldie johnny (your boss basically) nudes⁉️⁉️

older!johnny cage > because of you

warnings: ur ass and butt are out, age gap (ur about 30), drunken goobers

[ masterlist ]

you weren't the type of person to get plastered on a tuesday, but a mission with the special forces went off with every success possible. johnny, one of the leaders and coordinators, insisted that a party was well-deserved, as was a week off (provided that any netherrealm horrors don't peek their head around the corner in that time).

a healthy serving of wine swirled in your glass as you were too entranced in the motion to notice your boss coming up to you. he had a beer in hand, and a sloppier smile than the one he typically carried himself with. he was loosened up, ready to charm anyone that'll give him the time of day. it's one of those traits you never really let go of as you age.

"there you are!" he exclaims, slamming a large hand onto your shoulder. "been looking for you since i arrived. wanted to thank you for your smart thinking on the mission."

your cheeks flare up at the sudden, very masculine attention. "thank you, lieutenant, but i just did what i had to. i didn't put much thought into it, i just —"

he shuts you up quick, pinching two fingers in front of your face with a grin.

"i'm johnny tonight," he starts with. "and don't downplay yourself. you're one incredible little firecracker." and with that, he provides another reassuring slap to the arm before pivoting and returning to the center of the party, where more people were bound to interact.

the interaction was so platonic, so casual, but your head felt fuzzy. any attention from johnny sent you reeling despite your most professional attempts to keep it under wraps. you wanted to dump your wine onto the floor, but dammit, it was actually pretty expensive courtesy of johnny.

most of the night didn't really happen in your memory, you were in and out as you enjoyed probably more alcohol than intended. perhaps you were trying to drown your embarrassment. tragically for the party, you were a quiet, sleepy drunk. and johnny of all people noticed your gentle swaying before anyone else.

"hey hun, you doing okay?" he asks, a small slur in his own voice as well. he leans down to inspect you, a strong hand holding your arm. "you look like you're ready to fall over." it took a good amount of strength to not let a little moan out at how good he smelled, even when mixed in with alcohol.

you rub your eyes with a small "mhm," not really paying much attention to your surroundings. johnny was having none of it.

"i know i told everyone to party hard, but i think you've had enough, doll," johnny admits, hands on his hips. "how about you retire to your quarters?"

you want to nod, you want to be curled up in your bed and dreaming but you honestly struggled to recall the map to your quarters. you were in a large common room, that much you knew. but when it came to stumbling your way back, it felt like traversing the jungle. johnny noticed your hesitation.

"here, come on," he holds his arm out, in that helpful fatherly way he adopted after having cassie. although he could be an egotistical pain in the ass, he still knew how to flip the switch and be a useful member of the special forces. your wrap your arms around his, drunkenly flustering yourself with the side of his bicep. you almost blurt out how much you'd like to take a bite out of it, but you thankfully hold your tongue.

the walk felt impossibly long to the both of you, the only noise being his boots and your own heeled shoes. johnny looks down at you with a weak smile.

"you look nice," he compliments, admiring your figure in your outfit. "don't think i've ever seen you in civilian clothes before." instinctively, your face slams into his arm, concealing your flushed face. he jumps, eyebrows shooting up. "oh, not great with compliments, huh?"

oh my god, dude. this is your boss. your boss is complimenting you privately. he's walking you to your room. out of all of the other members, he knows where your room is?? you feel yourself sobering up in horror, but all you can do is squeak out an "mm-mm," into the fabric of his sleeve. he chuckles lowly.

"that's alright," he reassures you with a loose grin. "can you stay upright for me?" his request feels suddenly entirely possible. yes, he's your boss, but if he asked you to jump you'd ask how high. you'd probably agree to several crimes if he asked in that sultry voice of his. your back involuntarily straightens at his minor request, and he chuckles again. "good girl, there we go."

his words feel like the world's hottest spell. it's like his voice is the only thing to come through in your screaming mind, interjecting any dirty thoughts that could possibly be conjured up inside.

after however long it might've been, you're standing at your door with johnny looming behind you. noticing you're too drunk and flustered to move on your own, he reaches around you and opens your door for you, ushering you in by the small of your back. a back that might split in two if he was any rougher.

"you need me to tuck you in?" he asks teasingly, seating you on your bed and standing over you. his hand finds its way to the top of your head, stroking with the length of your hair. your head tilts up to look at him through fluttering lashes, a harsh shake of your head telling him you were a big girl, you could do it on your own.

"good girl."

and there it was again, that heat curling into your stomach at his words. he used that phrase rarely, very rarely in training. johnny knew of the connotation of the phrase, sure he did. but your mind was so foggy, you couldn't determine if it was an intentional usage or not. you could only take it for what it was.

the silence seemed to be a response in itself. he pats your thigh, standing upright fully.

"right. well, best get to bed," he insists coolly. his tone sounds restrained, distant. like he's trying to stay calm. you can't argue or protest, just hum in response. he checks behind him one last time before shutting the door and leaving you to flail in your blankets.

are you that drunk to think he's flirting with you? is HE that drunk to flirt with you? of course, in your twisted, distorted mind, this was an indicator that not only was he flirting with you, he wanted you biblically. carnally. whatever other word you could pull from your dulled brain.

the sensations he had left behind, his lingering scent, you were starting to lose it. even sitting upright, your hand dove under your pants and lazily played with yourself, trying to relieve the part embarrassment and part lust you felt from his presence.

in the heat of your masturbation, your horniness spoke to you like a devil on your shoulder, telling you to show him how good it was feeling. so, like a fool, you snapped a shaky video of yourself. you laid on your back and continued to massage your clit in slow, tender circles, enough to hopefully send him into shock.

you find his contact easily, considering you often searched for it and debated texting him outside of work hours. but now, that anxiety was gone, and you sent the video with no shame, captioning it with as flirty of a message you could type.

"m still thinkinf of yuo" was your best attempt so you settled with it. johnny didn't open it, considering he was at a party and likely too busy to check his phone. in your imagination however, it felt like a game to see how many times you could text him and still not get a response. so, you sent another.

you pulled your shirt up, letting your breasts ripple freely with each tug and pinch of your nipple. your drunken whines were barely audible unless the volume was on full blast. you sent it without shame.

"woulf feel bettre with yhor hands."

as a final attempt to get his attention, you type out a firm and blunt confession, one that you would have never thought to type in a million years. damn his pricey wine!!

"i need you"

at this message, he finally opens it and the read receipt makes you nauseous. could you lose your job over this? probably. johnny takes a looooong time to reply, though his message is short.

"sweetheart." that's all it says, and you can't make out the tone. condescending? encouraging? your conclusion is even more vague at his next message. "you're drunk. please get some rest."

if there's anything the special forces taught you, it's that you don't back down from a fight. so, you lazily shimmy your pants further down to get a juicier view of your sloppy pussy, dragging a thin line of your fluids to snap a photo of.

"cant hepl it," you text back. "need yoy all the timr"

"do i need to come in there and put you to bed myself so you stop sending those pictures?"

you swallow dryly. shit. maybe this isn't the best approach. he seems frustrated, annoyed with your pushy behavior. or maybe, and the thought makes you grin wickedly, maybe johnny wants to put you in your place the way you dream about.

"maybe," you add a tongue out emoji for extra measures. johnny reads it, but doesn't reply.

several minutes fly by as you're lazily toying with yourself, chasing the high that might've been a bad idea in hindsight. you'll worry about it when you're sober.

boots echo down the hallway. a master key jingles in your doorknob. you don't think to remove your hand from under your pants, instead craning your neck to see what the deal was.

the door slowly swings open, and johnny's silhouette is massive in the doorway. his breathing is heavy. his fists are clenched. a sight so beautiful in your drunk mind that you can't help but widen your legs ever so slightly. he seemingly twitches in response.

"lieutenant," you breathe out, your circular motions on your clit speeding up. johnny can only shush you before making quick strides to your side, slamming your thighs together with a deep sigh.

"bed," he commands darkly, voice sounding stern, but not in the way he'd act around the trainees. "now."

"mm," you whine, trying to reopen your legs but his hands clasp your knees harshly. "i was close." he sighs again, placing his forehead on your knees.

"doll," he warns you again. "i'm not asking."

"did you like the videos?" you slur out, bringing your fingers to your lips to nervously fiddle with them. "i made them for you."

he exhales sharply, sounding more like a frustrated hiss. "that's not—"

"did you like seeing me touch myself to you?" this brazen attitude comes out of left field for you. it was like your mind and body were on autopilot.

"you're playing a dangerous game."

"i know."

johnny tries to avert his eyes from you, but they can only fall to your wetness coating your thighs.

"jesus..." he mutters, tilting his head to get a better look. "doll, you're soaked."

"because of you."

"is that so?"

slowly, tenderly, he reopens your thighs with a palm on each leg. your cunt is on full display, soaked and aching from the previous pleasure. as if it was the only logical way to approach this, johnny's hand lowers to your core, swiping a thumb across your folds and making you jump. his eyes are glassy, like he's not in control of his actions. his jaw is tense.

"god, i..." his thumb pulls away and you writhe. "i shouldn't. we can't."

"why not?" your voice is whiny, needy for more.

"i'm your boss, doll."

"that makes it more exciting."

"if anyone finds out—"

"they won't."

his inner turmoil fizzes away when he catches another glance at your pussy, shiny and slick with need for him and him only. his thumb returns, darting straight to your clit to rub circles with his calloused fingerprint.

"i'm not gonna fuck you," he mutters, transfixed on the sight below him. you feel tears prick in the corners of your eyes when you can only weakly ask why not. he takes a moment to reply. "because i wouldn't be able to control myself."

johnny's fingers pick up the pace, now creating an obscene slick noise from your cunt with his fingers. he toys with your sensitive bud, relishing in the way you squirm and flush from his hands alone. his dick twitches eagerly with each moan you spill, and he thinks to himself that he'd rather enjoy making you scream from his dick. perhaps next time.

"johnny—" you whimper, hands digging into his forearm. "please, i— 'm close." you wish you hadn't gotten yourself a head start, so maybe it would last longer.

"mm?" his voice feels far away, not really listening to your warning as his brutal pace goes unfaltered.

"johnny," you try to warn him again, needier this time. your volume increases. he holds a hand down on your stomach, flat to keep you from escaping his touch.

his fingers spread your folds apart as he gets full access to your clit. his lips part to groan at the pretty sight, and the way his motions become sloppy as he loses traction and slips across your folds. as your lips part to let out a needy cry, he leans forward from between your legs and firmly slams his lips against yours, swallowing every attempt of a moan you could make. it's his warm, wet lips that send you over the edge, one that he rubs you right through. as you throw your head back and disconnect your lips, he buries his face in your neck to take in your scent.

"good girl..." johnny gently encourages you as you ride out your orgasm. now weakly spasming and fluttering around nothing. "you're alright, i've got you."

after some time of you laying seemingly lifeless, he removes his fingers from your soaking pussy. from how hard you came with his fingers alone, you wanted to feel embarrassed, but you were instead in a dumb bliss.

johnny sits up again, wrapping his lips around his fingers to clean the mess you made on him. his eyes flutter shut at your taste. his other hand falls to his cock, shamelessly readjusting the thick tent you created to avoid suspicion. your head falls forward again to get a hazy look at his form hovering above you.

"get some rest," he quietly asks, glancing to the door to ensure nobody heard. "i'd... like to have a word with you. in my office. tomorrow."

#mortal kombat #mortal kombat x reader #johnny cage #johnny cage x reader #johnny cage smut #mk11 #mortal kombat smut #marley writes ☆

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btr-rewatch · 3 months

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Big Time Rush Fandom lore from back in the day

The fandom during the years the show was on was booming with constant content being churned out, especially fanfics. Most of the BTR fanfic community knew each other and formed collective headcanons and lore that were then spread and picked up by the rest of the fandom (ie tumblr). I had only just recently discovered online fandom spaces at the time, so I didn't contribute fanfics or anything (which is good because I was young, and they would have been terrible), but I did absorb a good deal that stuck with me. Thought it might be fun to share. A lot of this might still apply today but truth be told, I don't really know much about the current fandom headcanons. I'm still learning things as I continue to interact with people on here! Also! Idk if anyone currently in the fandom was around during Miss Fenway's reign, but she was the Queen of the BTR fandom and most "famous" of the fanfic community. A lot of the headcanons adopted by the fandom started with her and were quickly picked up by others.

Kendall • Pretty much unanimous agreement that his father was a deadbeat who had walked out on the family very shortly after Katie was born. This explains why there is ZERO mention of him in the show, no family pictures in the background that hint at a father still being in their lives, etc. He caused them a lot of pain, so they erased any trace of him. • Some people took a little bit of a kinder approach to him, where he was a genuinely loving dad when Kendall was very young, but then things unraveled, and he ended up leaving. • He was big into hockey, which sparked Kendall's love for the sport. • Lots of sad fanfics involving Little Kendall dealing with his parents deteriorating marriage and being forced to "take charge" once his dad left. • Also agreement that he likely dealt with a decent amount of anxiety and very clear abandonment issues, along with a hero complex. • Naturally, Kendall was very often the focus of intensely angsty fics. He was always being pushed to the limit, ignoring his own issues, sacrificing himself, etc until he reached his breaking point.

Logan • Prior to the airing of Big Time Moms, it was generally headcanoned that Logan's mother had died when he was very young, and he was being raised by his father. • It was also headcanoned (in the fanfic-sphere at least) that Logan's dad was an awful person. Don't ask me how this came to be because I don't actually know. All I remember is discovering fanfiction, reading fic after fic of Logan's dad being horrible, and going, "Huh, I guess that's a thing." • Logan's dad ranged anywhere from being a raging workaholic who totally ignored & neglected Logan to being outright abusive. • The main reason Logan threw himself so hard into school and being "smart" was so his father would notice him. It did not work. • Because of this, the fandom headcanoned that Logan was pretty much "adopted" into the Knight family from the moment he befriended Kendall. Mrs. Knight is the one who raised him and gave him love, and so he and Kendall grew up as brothers. (Several fanfics even had Logan be officially adopted into the Knight family at some point) • If there was an award for most tortured character in BTR fanfiction, Logan would have won hands down during the 2009-2013 fanfic era. This guy was put through the wringer! He was always experiencing trauma. When he wasn't being emotionally scarred by his dad, he was dying tragically or losing an arm in a shark attack or getting brain damage or being kidnapped. Logan suffered constantly lol the poor guy.

Carlos • He likely got the best, most lighthearted side of fandom headcanons and probably suffered the least in fics. Largely because he's Carlos, and nobody wants to hurt Carlos. • From a big, loud, happy family. Definitely the healthiest, most stable upbringing of all the boys. • Babied and loved so so much by his parents. • People had different ideas regarding the actual makeup of his immediate family, but most people headcanoned him as the oldest and only boy, with 3 or 4 much younger sisters. • His father was often written as having a special bond with Logan. I remember a trend in fics where Logan called Mr. Garcia "papa" and looked to him as the main father figure in his life. • It's still assumed that Carlos has a serious case of ADHD, right? Because that was a given back in the day. James • Honestly, I remember the least amount of James lore. Let's see... • Only child • Uses his superficial exterior to hide the fact he's deeply insecure • Actually feels everything so deeply that he has to pretend he doesn't care to avoid getting hurt. This was used to many fic writer's advantage. • Loved by his parents, but they don't show it well, and he grew up feeling disconnected from them. And that's about all I've got!

I should dig back through my old list of bookmarked fanfics at some point and make a post of the ones that were my favorites.

#big time rush #btr #kendall knight #james diamond #carlos garcia #logan mitchell #miscellaneous

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thechekhov · 10 months

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Hello! Just wanted to say I love all your content but I wanted to ask if you had any advice/tips for running curse of strahd? I'm working on getting ready to run it with some friends/my partner and while I've run a fair amount of homebrew stuff this is my real first attempt at a legit module so I was curious if you could share anything since I believe you also are running/had run that module as well?

Thanks for asking! This is a very fun question!

I have indeed run Curse of Strahd. It was my first foray into long-term DMing and my team and I finished that campaign a little under a year ago. It was awesome, and I'm always excited to talk about it. Curse of Strahd had be a great game if everyone is on the same page!

First of all, I'm gonna say

Having Experience with Homebrew will be a huge boon

When I ran CoS, I followed the actual module about... 60% of the time. It was good... as a baseline/blueprint. But the reality is that I changed up a lot of the details. Either because I didn't like the vibes of the story, or because the plot points were antithetical to my team's goals. I changed up an entire floor of Ravenloft. I threw away a whole storyline for a major NPC because I felt it was too boring.

I think most people who run Curse of Strahd do this, actually. I've heard countless tales of how others Homebrewed their own meat onto the skeleton, and still came out of the campaign with an awesome, Strahd flavored experience. So don't worry about that part.

Here's my advice:

1. Everyone should vibe with what Strahd IS as a game.

Strahd can be a lot of things - you can Homebrew your own motivations into him, or make him a her, or change the history of his castle if need be. But if there's one thing Curse of Strahd is... it is DARK.

The Venn Diagram of Parties Who Understand That Suffering Can Be Fun To Roleplay and Parties Who Had A Good Time Doing CoS is probably a circle. You cannot do this adventure with a group of people who just want to hit monsters a whole bunch. It's an inherently 'oh my god this SUCKS' adventure. That's the main theme. Your players need to be able to enjoy that sort of game, otherwise they will just be miserable.

One of my players, upon arriving in Barovia, immediately said 'I hate it here' and then continued to say it for the rest of the campaign. That is kind of the catchphrase of CoS. Your players need to be comfortable with that sort of bleak horror and overall misery. It makes the end and the potential to finally end Strahd worth it.

That being said, Strahd can also just be... a lot. It has death and torture and psychological horror in there. KIDS DIE. Please discuss this stuff with your table, and remove elements if they guarantee a bad experience for everyone!

(Yes, you can trim down some of the viscera if you need to, that's fine. But keep in mind it will still be tragic. It SHOULD still be tragic. I set some boundaries for myself, but I also killed a whole town in an avalanche. It happened to be the only town my players had grown to like. It was a dick move. It was exactly what you would expect to happen.)

2. Read ahead - A LOT AHEAD.

For a self-contained world, Barovia isn't actually that big. It's a very small map, compared to some that span continents. That means you have the ability to flesh it out, as it were.

To add to that... some areas are... severely underdeveloped plot-wise. Sometimes there are places your players will go where it FEELS like it should link up to another point in the game but it just... doesn't. There is room to expand there. Use your Homebrew skills to connect the dots that the module doesn't!

I greatly recommend taking the time to either read through the whole adventure OR listen through some video-essays. There IS some cool stuff that comes in in the later game that you can grab and put down breadcrumbs for from day one. Or add to your own story twists.

My recommended resource for this is the Curse of Strahd DM's Guide video series.

...and to that end...

3. Start living in Ravenloft Castle WAY before your players get there.

Listen..........listen. look.

Look at this, and suffer as all GMs have suffered.

Castle Ravenloft is unarguably the biggest, stupidest, most architecturally ludicrous hurdle when it comes to GMing CoS. And I am here to tell you - IT IS DOABLE.

You can understand the castle, you can grow comfortable with it. But you need to start early. Hell, I think I began to set up Ravenloft maps before my players even knew it existed. Then I stopped, because I was scared.. but then I went back, and I.... roleplayed SOLO on my off-days! I set up little scenes between Strahd and others and imagined him setting traps, and doing other things. It helped me understand which staircase led to where, and what floors were accessible from which angles.

A part of me actually thinks that there should be a mini GMs-only class where a more experienced Strahd GM takes some time with other GMs to guide them through a map of the castle. A CoS Learning Oneshot, if you will.

There's also a LOT of talented mapmakers that create beautiful, digital CoS maps! Here's one:

Even if you are playing analogue, at a physical table, I greatly encourage you to check it out for reference. The official CoS maps are bleak and a little bit more... rustic? Than they are gothic.

Anyway, in order to avoid talking your ear off, I will end it here.

My last bit of advice is... to have fun!

Yes I know I just said that Strahd is an inherently bad-vibes game. But it's actually GOOD to let your players goof off now and then. Don't be afraid to let them do shenanigans. It builds character, and allows them to regain the energy they need to role-play properly heavy elements later.

My group did a whole bunch of funny stuff. They felt so bad about losing Ireena that when they saw Ismark, instead of explaining themselves to him they cast Darkness and tried to scramble away. There was a running joke that the cleric was too good to know about sex, so they used the euphemism 'play cards' around her, much to everyone's amusement. They got kicked by a walking house once and never forgot nor forgave. And finally, they defeated some Flame Skulls by putting them into a bag of holding.

Anyway, the point is... have fun! I wish you and your party the best of luck. :)

#chekhov answers #curse of strahd #cos #ttrpg #dnd #5e #d&d #cos 5e

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highonincense · 6 months

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One thing I absolutely despise in drarry fics —and by this I mean a specific subset, not like in general cause there are many amazing fics— is the characterization of harry (and draco), the way he's an absolute fucking doormat!!!! I get it y'all are tryna portray him as a social dimwit, it can be done in a normal way without making him seem like a piece of cardboard! Are we talking about the same dude here?? You don't actually have to completely demolish a character, take away their key traits just to make the other half of the ship look better.

Let me give a pointwise description:

1. Dude stutters after every bloody sentence, like he's so overwhelmed talking to draco "smirking, smooth as butter, sardonic, sleek, godly" Malfoy who keeps insulting him every fucking second. Do you really think that harry would entertain that bullshit, especially in post-war fics!!! Like he'd just take it and not put him in his place?

2. I read this fic long ago and I don't remember the name, but good god it was unbearable. Basically the golden trio apologizes to draco for his tragic life that they were responsible for after the war? Like wtf? Why is there even a need to do that? 😭 That was too much and I stopped midway

3. Again, draco "3 OWLs" Malfoy, some supersmart / second coming of tom riddle, keeps patronizing every action of harry, the amount of times harry's intelligence is insulted? Immediate no from me, like are we still doing the whole "harry dumb mf potter is unobservant, slow, stupid, can't function without some rat hissing in his ear that he's an idiot 24/7"? Don't you think it's lame?

4. Harry has to always put up with his shitty attitude, I am all for character development, I know characters are multi dimensional and complex, and showing draco having a difficult personality is well and good, but it starts to get annoying when there's no real growth in him. I've read fics where he's absolutely despicable until the end which is covered up as him being a dickhead in general and harry "fondly" keeps up with his shit. *gag* canon harry would NEVER

5. I think it genuinely wouldn't make a difference if harry was there or not, I am not kidding or being dramatic, those fics might as well be character × y/n fics

All of this leads me to hate draco's character more! You portray him as this insufferable bastard who has a heart of gold apparently (where?) who has no real growth, shows no humility or regret or even pretends to and you think harry will put up with that?

It would be interesting if he starts out that way, works on himself and grows and changes, that would be more tolerable and interesting!

But no, he's always this annoying guy who hurls insults, keeps mocking harry or his friends every other line, you might argue it's in his character, but aren't those the traits which make him unlikeable? like those aren't cute or quirky? wouldn't it make more sense to show him grow out of it? It's really annoying

And harry, let's not go there, he's a completely new character, might as well be an oc atp, you can't even compare him to canon harry, that's how bad it is! I still haven't completely discussed it cause it's already getting long, but he's this wet bloody blanket and I can't stand it, the gryffs (except Hermione) in general are shown as some bumbling buffoons who can't differentiate between their hand and foot!! And the slytherins are all savvy, masterminds, geniuses... I really don't know whether it's admirable cause it's weird seeing them pushed into these moulds where they can only behave a certain way!

I'm so tired this is still going on like?? Why are their characters such caricatures? All of this sounds like it may have been a thing of past, but I am appalled it's still happening!!!

This is not directed at all drarry fics out there, cause there are some gorgeous fics written by amazing authors who fucking get these characters and make it about them, about their relationship and explore it in a depth and nail their characterizations without making either one of them boring. There are a good number of fics that I actually enjoy cause of the way they write drarry's characters, which makes or breaks the fic imho

#drarry #harry james potter #draco malfoy #harry potter #rant sesh #draco lucius malfoy #anti drarry?#anti drarry #wizard #wizarding world #hjp

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bonesbonesbones69 · 13 days

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A GTN Fanmix

It's done!!! I can't believe it. I spent so much time on this, I had so much fun. I'm still doing final touches on the HTN playlist but it will also be done so soon. For now: Gideon.

Track list:

The Legend of Chavo Guerrero (The Mountain Goats)

Bitter Rivals (Sleigh Bells)

Hast Though Considered the Tetrapod (The Mountain Goats)

Mark on You (The Mountain Goats)

End Love (Ok Go)

Clear the Area (Imogen Heap)

Ask (The Smiths)

Anything For You (Ludo)

Everything I Am is Yours (Villagers)

Matilda (Alt-J)

Bleed Out (The Mountain Goats)

I know that's a lot of mountain goats. But this is my playground and I'm doing whatever I want, and you can't stop me.

Song breakdown under the cut! I get wordy, i've put a lot of thought into this playlist. Like a really embarrassing amount of thought. It's long. but also truly optional, this playlist can be enjoyed without my deep dive!! Enjoy!!

Yesssss you looked under the cut! Welcome to every thought i've ever had.

THE LEGEND OF CHAVO GUERRERO - THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

One thing I love about GTN is Gideon vs. her comic hero fantasies. It's heavily themed throughout this playlist, so we're starting with the concept.

I lose my mind thinking about Gideon spending her whole life dreaming about BEING someone and MAKING SOMETHING of herself through living out the action hero stories in her comics. That's what it means to be important and wanted, to fight and win and be covered in babes. Like they do in the comics.

Lyrics:

Before a black and white TV in the middle of the night I'm lying on the floor. I'm bathed in the light The telecast's in Spanish. I can understand some And I need justice in my life; here it comes

And then of course in the months between when she leaves the ninth and when dies, she lives the action comic hero scene by devoting herself dramatically to her necromancer and dying in battle for her - a short and tragic twist on the glorious victory found in comics, but also exactly what Gideon wanted from the comics: meaning to her actions. Being someone and making something of herself.

That shit makes me emotional so we're starting here, with the legend of chavo guerrero, and Gideon's childhood hero dreams.

BITTER RIVALS - SLEIGH BELLS

Ok the playlist is about "Gideon as the Action Hero" but its ALSO OF COURSE about Gideon + Harrow's relationship because I have the same disease about it that you all do. If you clicked down to read this stupid fanmix deep dive I can guarantee you also have this disease. the disease where we love Gideon + Harrow's relationship.

So here's a song about it :)

You are my bitter rival But I need you for survival

What else can I say??

This playlist is more or less chronologically aligned to GTN itself, which is something I love doing with playlists. Accordingly, this ones about them hating each other (yet... homoerotically?) and being inextricably tangled in each other at the same time. but don't worry, I have some gooier songs later.

HAST THOU CONSIDERED THE TETRAPOD - THE MOUNTAIN GOATS (AGAIN)

But not yet! Before we get to gooey love songs we have to listen to more child abuse songs.

Held under these smothering waves By your strong and thick-veined hands But one of these days I'm going to wriggle up on dry land

And it's also about maladaptive daydreaming and the persistent belief that there is a better future for you out there!!!

Playlist title is taken from this song - "I am young and I am good" as a self-identifier in the context of escaping and growing beyond an abusive household feel so right for Gideon, who is hungry for glory, but even more hungry to just be useful and acknowledged. To show that she is good and be validated as good. She hasn't had much opportunity in her life so far, which is SO unfair, because she is young and she is good!

MARK ON YOU - THE MOUNTAIN GOATS (GET USED TO IT)

When this is over, when we leave this all behind us Deep in the moonless night, when the rescue team finds us It's gonna get so dark for you I'm gonna leave a mark on you

What's perfect about this song is how threatening it is, and the implied violence... but also how in the same breath it implies an emotional footprint and no violence is ever confirmed. Do I even have to say that it's on here as a one-two punch referencing both harrow + Gideon's fighting and ALSO Gideon's sacrifice?? Of course that's why it's on here!!

It also gets bonus points for being off of the mountain goat's album 'bleed out', which was inspired by classic action movies. The action movie vibe comes through in the song, and therefore is a beautiful head-nod to Gideon the Action Hero at the same time as its a tragic foreshadowing to the nature of the mark that Gideon does in fact leave.

END LOVE - OK GO

Ok we're getting a little romantic. It's time for some songs about BUILDING TRUST ON PURPOSE

Cause no one's gonna save you, if you don't swim for the boat No one's gonna save you, if you won't take the rope No one's gonna find you, when you're hiding in the dark No one's gonna find you

The most romantic shit in the world to me is the combo of Harrow choosing to be vulnerable on purpose, and Gideon being so ready to accept and guard that vulnerability. Harrow's choices to let Gideon in are of course so delicious because theyre marinated in how absurdly difficult it is for her. And she does it so deliberately. She does it because she NEEDS to. Because the alternative (not having Gideons partnership) is so much worse. And that's romantic to me.

ASK - THE SMITHS

If there's something you'd like to try If there's something you'd like to try Ask me, I won't say no, how could I

Ok cmon. Right??

It's the other overwhelmingly romantic thing. The thing where Gideon is so ready to be there for harrow, when she's given the opportunity. When she's asked. And this is also STILL about having to be vulnerable and purposeful to build trust. Or the bomb will get you, or the whatever.

CLEAR THE AREA - IMOGEN HEAP

Ok here's the thing - I don't believe in criticizing your own art. Like posting something and saying 'oh its so bad' or pointing out all the stuff that didn't turn out right. It's self-defeating to give everyone the first impression that the thing you made is bad, before they have a chance to create their own impressions.

HOWEVER

The tone of this whole playlist is whack. Each song alone is great, but overall, the vibe is kind of sappy and idealistic and sweet - which feels so disparate from the tone of Gideon herself. I stand by the song choices I made but god I wish the vibe was more defensive, more funny, more bitter, more irreverent, more STUPID. ‘Bitter rivals’ is the only song on this playlist with the energy I dream of. I looked at some other riot grrl music but couldn’t find anything I loved. Ok I got so mad about this that I made a second playlist just now with only 'Gideon vibes' and no songs that have anything to do with shit that actually happened in GTN. Its here, it took 10m, and its very good.

Anyways, I’m telling you now because the song 'Clear the Area' is truly guilty of being too sweet and sincere.

Having said that, it absolutely belongs on this playlist anyways and I will defend it!

You find your way back down And I'll keep the area clear. When you find your way back down, in one piece Then I'll just be waiting here, right here.

This incredibly soft song is still solidly on the track of 'building trust on purpose or else the bomb will get you'. even more than that, it's about protecting and loving someone who is so wrapped up in their own shit that they do a very bad job of reaching out. and what about that DOESNT belong on a GTN playlist!!!

ANYTHING FOR YOU - LUDO

I don't have specific lyrics I want to share out for this one, but the entire thing as a whole deserves some attention: the singer lists fantastical and daring and victorious scenarios that they, clearly an adventurous hero, has completed, and then easily says that they'd give away all best things from their adventures for the song's subject.

It's an "all in" pledge that fits comfortably in with the cavalier oath. It's the commitment!! The gravity of devotion!!

and it's ALSO ABOUT IMAGINING YOURE A HERO yes thats right we are BACK to Gideon and the Action Hero. The song doesn't actually say that all the scenarios are imagined, but the variety and fantasy hint that they could easily be imagined. At the very least, they're supposed to make us think about adventure stories and that's good enough for me.

A fun little bonus for this one is the line "but the best story I could ever tell is the one where I am growing old with you," which I'm calling out because I get a little kick out of the 'growing old' theme. There's also a line in the legend of chavo guerrero, "I don't know but i've been told, it's real sweet to grow old". Between these two songs, the easy coupling of 'I dream of heroic deeds' with 'I will grow old' is... I mean.... tragic. I'm having fun, are you having fun?

EVERYTHING I AM IS YOURS - VILLAGERS

This is one of the first songs I put on this playlist. It's significant that this song has stayed on so long, I started seriously working on this playlist a month ago (in tandem with an HTN playlist) and i've removed and replaced most of the songs I started with.

There were times when I did consider removing it - I wondered if this song was a little redundant with 'anything for you'. Both are songs about devoting yourself fully to someone else. But what this song has that 'anything for you' doesn't, is the idea that 'everything I am' comes with the bad as well as the good. It's a promise and also a resigned statement.

I find it hard to say what's going on inside Got these little walls, couldn't break them if I tried But I promise I'll be true. And I promise I'll be right Sickness and in health. In the darkness and the light I give you every side 'Cause everything I am is yours

MATILDA - ALT J

OK WAIT HEAR ME OUT WAIT HEAR ME OUT WAIT WAIT IM SERIOUS ABOUT THIS ONE

It's a little high concept but whatever this is my playlist and I can do whatever I want!! you're welcome its not another mountain goats song.

The song Matilda by Alt J is not only a classic indie hit from 2012 with lyrics so warbly theyre basically nonsense, it is also explicitly about the ending to the 1994 action film 'Leon: The Professional'. Which I am about to talk about, so if you don't want spoilers, don't read the rest of this section!

So what happens at the end of the professional (and i'm stalling writing the sentence in case you are trying to skim over this to avoid spoilers), is that Leon (the professional himself) dies taking out an enemy with a grenade. This action saves the life of a young girl (Matilda) who he's taken under his wing, and who has brought new meaning into his life. Before blowing himself up, he hands the pin to the enemy, saying 'this is from Matilda', it's beautiful i cried blah blah blah

Put the grenade pin in your hand, so you understand who's boss. My defeat sleeps top to toe with her success Oh this is from, this is from, This is from Matilda

By now we're all on the same page, it's a song about dying so that someone you love will stay alive and finding meaning and purpose in that action, it's a song about what happened at the end of GTN.

AND it's a song about an action hero

AND it is itself the artistic reverb that the action hero had throughout pop culture!!!

Alt J saw 'the professional' and thought holy shit thats meaningful i'm gonna write a song about it. Gideon read comics and thought holy shit thats meaningful someday im gonna put my own life on the line for a necromancer. Then she DID, and DIED. Which is INSANE and I cried way more than I cried at the professional.

And the playlist ends on the next song for the exact same reason.

BLEED OUT - THE MOUNTAIN GOATS

What can I even say!! I'm only gonna quote a couple lyrics here but I could really go line-by-line for this entire 7 minute song.

There was a chance we'd make it through this It's safe to say now that we missed it And I will never lose hope, and I haven't lost hope I'm just realistic I will go down punching, but I will go down and my corner man won't bring me back around Bleed out I'm gonna bleed out

This is the second song on this playlist from the action-movie inspired album 'bleed out', and this song is about the endings to action movies where the heroes die. It's about the trope that happened to Leon and Gideon. It's a little tongue in cheek, it's funny, extremely genre-savvy, long, slow, and sad.

The tone, content, and meta commentary about action heroes all make this one of my favorite songs on the playlist.

Every story needs a child who believes The brave hero's gonna be just fine You only have to check the papers to see Some of these children end up just like me Bleed out I'm gonna bleed out

I was sooo close to naming this playlist “every story needs a child who believes” but it’s a mouthful. So let’s just take a moment here, deep in the playlist footnotes, to think about it.

Are you thinking about it? I'm thinking about it.

Anyways, that's the whole playlist. If you read this (any of it), thank you, I love you. I am going to miss this playlist now that I'm casting it out into the wild. But it's time. I think it's complete.

See you again when I get the final touches on the HTN playlist. which has just as many mountain goats songs. and is even better ;)

#tlt #gtn #the locked tomb #gideon the ninth #gideon nav #sets my stupid playlist adrift in the ocean #my art #Spotify

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majaloveschris · 8 months

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"he does all this because she is the one and he is so in love" /////

I believe everyone needs to realize if the above were true then there’d be no debate as to if this is a real or PR relationship.

The simple fact that so much comes out about them to drive or paint a narrative, only for Chris to be the complete opposite physically of how he expresses things ……says enough.

People can call us delusional for not believing this relationship, but I call those who blindly believe what’s purposefully crafted for you to believe gullible and delusional ….to think that this man who has been in the spotlight for 20+ yrs, whose expressed his emotions freely, who stated what he wanted in a relationship in the SMA article only to go public with the complete opposite two days later. To think he’s done a 180 in the worst way due to “being in love”…..nah, I’m not buying what’s being sold.

One has to ask themselves why are all these articles trying to paint him and her as so in love, yet REALITY based on their own body language and expressions show you the complete opposite?!

Show me ONE pic or video shot of them not aware they are being filmed acting or looking so “in love”.

(Oops that already happened …..in the park when he put his hand in his pocket as she reached for it.)

Even the purposefully crafted Valentine’s Day montage and the scare videos seemed fake and staged, every new update the past few months just adds to the speculation that this is bs based on their own actions.

What couple so in love acts like they don’t know or like each other like that. People claim we get a glimpse in their lives, but it’s been two freaking years of bs, regardless of not knowing their every move every single day, we can clearly see something isn’t genuine.

Even after the marriage confirmation from this man’s own mouth, it STILL doesn’t add up based on HIS own actions/inactions.

If Chris was genuinely happy and in love……we’d clearly see it, not have to “read” about it.

I agree with you! I think it's important to note that this whole "PR or real" debate started because of them. It started with them kind of alluding that something is going on with different things (NYE 1.0., LV, the follows and likes) while not admitting they are "together" and then continued with the NYC pap walk 1.0. As you said, if from the very beginning we'd seen how happy and in love he is, Team PR probably wouldn't even exist. I'm not saying there wouldn't be people out there who believe it's PR, but not this amount, for sure.

I agree that his body language is always off and weird around her, like he isn't comfortable or like he is forced to be there. And considering the things you've mentioned, everything seems so fake and manufactured. We saw him being out with his girlfriends for years, and I'm not saying they were always smiley and all over each other, but there were clear moments where you could see they were in love, but there isn't a single one with Alba.

I don't blame people who think this is real. Most people just don't care enough about them or simply think whatever they say must be true. I think there are people on both sides who are "delusional" (I don't really like using this word though), believing and creating things that are clearly bullshit, or thinking that everything that happens proves a point.

It's truly weird to see the contrast between the articles and their body language. They are supposed to be "the one" for each other, yet they behave more intimately with their friends and seem to be more comfortable and natural around them. His body language and behavior should be the three times of everything we saw from his previous relationship since he is "head over heels" for her, but where is that huge love? I don't see it.

I think the NYC Pap Walk 1.0. video you mentioned was a big turning point. I mean, that pap walk was awful, but seeing how tragic it was behind the scenes was really interesting. He clearly didn't want to hold her hands, and to this day, they always walk next to each other as if they were just fighting a few minutes before.

The VD day dump didn't help either. Everything just feels so unnatural, fabricated, and out of character for him. I know we don't know him, but we saw how he acted in this previous relationship, and maybe if I saw that huge love we are supposed to see, I would believe he's changed his habits, but I see the exact opposite. And the wedding story has a lot of plot holes too.

The words, spoken and written, just don't match the body language.

#majaloveschris #chris and alba pr #cevans-love #chris and alba relationship #chris and alba wedding #chris and alba in nyc

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likeadevils · 1 year

Text

Speak Now Timeline

This is a very long post that puts all the songs on Speak Now in order of Taylor creating them. I’ve also added a few other songs she wrote while writing Speak Now and quotes from Taylor and her collaborators talking about her process.

If you don't want to read all that, check out this playlist of the album in order or this playlist of her entire discography.

Due to a surprising amount of digital decay and her life not being highly documented yet, exact dates are bit harder to come by then they are with following albums, but you can still find a few! I’ve added this color coded scale of how sure I am of the date:

Confirmed: There is some type of official source for the date

Inferring: Nobody has officially said “This is when we wrote it,” but everything points to that date

Speculation: This date is based off pure vibes and guesswork and is highly likely to change.

Unknown: All that is known is the year (from the US Copyright Offices)

More notes: I will probably be editing it as information about vault songs and new details about old songs get come out, so it probably won’t be finished until July, so check back in with this post and/or follow me if you want updates. Most tweet dates come from crawling through the wayback machine, but if you want further sourcing, feel free me an ask/dm.

Without further ado...

Sparks Fly: Late 2006 (Inferring)

Taylor opened up for Jake Owen on October 31, 2006 In Portland, Oregon (the secret message for the song), and wrote Sparks Fly about the experience shortly after. I’ve seen a few second hand sources say she wrote it on the airplane ride back to Nashville later that same night, but I can’t find Taylor herself saying that, so it might just be an old fandom legend, or the source has been lost to digital decay, or I just haven’t looked hard enough. She first performs the song in May 29, 2007.

Haunted: 2009 (Unknown)

Taylor: "Haunted" is about the moment that you realize the person you're in love with is drifting and fading fast. And you don't know what to do, but in that period of time, in that phase of love, where it's fading out, time moves so slowly. Everything hinges on what that last text message said, and you're realizing that he's kind of falling out of love. That's a really heartbreaking and tragic thing to go through, because the whole time you're trying to tell yourself it's not happening. I went through this, and I ended up waking up in the middle of the night and writing this song about it.

February 17, 2009: Tweets "It's 3:58 am in London.. And I accidentally fell asleep at 6:30 pm, so now I'm wide awake and have no idea what to do. Write a song?"

It’s possible that this was what Taylor was referring to when she said she “ended up waking up in the middle of the night and writing [Haunted]”, but it’s also very possible that Taylor didn’t write a song on February 17, and waking up in the middle of the night and writing a song is not a rare occurrence in Taylor’s life, so one tweet doesn’t really prove anything.

March 13, 2009: Tweets "A day off in Sydney. Drove two hours out of the city and spent the day on the beach. Wrote a chorus you'll hear on the next record. :)"

Pure speculation, but I think she was working on Mr. Perfectly Fine. It was created in 2009, and in my opinion, of the possible songs it has the most notable chorus.

March 19, 2009: Posts on Myspace “I’m wiped out. I’ve been in the studio all day ( I know, I know.. We JUST put out a new album. I think I have a problem, I cannot stop writing songs.) It’s so much fun knowing that you can take your time, because you have like a year and a half to make something you’re really proud of. I love recording a few songs, waiting a few months, recording a few more.. Instead of devoting a few weeks to “record the album” and then it’s just done. I like dragging it out, that way you can be meticulous about every detail. Daydream about different ways to put the songs together, and then take them apart. I’m pretty obsessed with the whole process. So needless to say, it was good to be back in the studio with my redheaded producer who I missed terribly.”

If This Was A Movie: April 2009 (Inferring)

Taylor has literally never talked about this song, but April would be six months after and Joe Jonas broke up in late September/early October 2008.

April 24, 2009: Taylor plays in Jonesboro, Arkansas, and possibly writes a song: "I'd get my best ideas at 3:00 AM in Arkansas, and didn't have a co-writer around and I'd just finish it. And that would happen again in New York [likely Enchanted], that would happen again in Boston [likely Long Live], that would happen again in Nashville." (x)

May 23, 2009: Taylor records Half Of My Heart with John Mayer

On March 1, 2009: John Mayer tweeted: “Waking up to this song idea that won’t leave my head. 3 days straight now. That means it’s good enough to finish. It’s called Half of My Heart and I want to sing it with Taylor Swift. She would make a killer Stevie Nicks in contrast to my Tom Petty of a song.” On May 23, John Mayer tweeted "I couldn't get Taylor Swift on my record so I found the world's greatest impersonator, Laura Jacksheimer" with a picture of Taylor.

Superman: Spring 2009 (Speculation)

This could have been written any time in 2009, but due to it's general sound and the following quote, I’d guess it was written sometime in spring, when her and John Mayer first started working together. Taylor: “This was a guy that I was sort of enamored with, as usual. This song got its title by something that I just kinda said randomly in conversation. He walked out of the room, I looked over at one of my friends and said, ‘Man, It’s just like watching Superman fly away.’”

May 29, 2009: Posts on Myspace “Tomorrow, after the performance on the Today show, I’ll fly back to Nashville and record a lot of new songs I’ve written in the last few weeks. I’m really excited about that.” (She also posts "Tonight I went shopping at Top Shop in New York with the band. I got purple shoes. I’m really excited about the purple shoes, and I just needed to tell someone. I got purple shoes. Ok. That’s done." Which. If I had a nickel for everytime Taylor teased her new album by posting about shoe colors I'd have two nickels, which isnt a lot but it's weird that it happened twice.)

June 4, 2009: Posts on Facebook "In the studio. I don't know whose computer I'm using. Pssh.. Such a rebel right now.."

June 9, 2009: Tweets (about recording Thug Story) "If I said I was in the studio with T-Pain, would you believe me?"

Better Than Revenge and Let’s Go (Battle): June 2009 (Inferring)

These were probably written sometime between June 12, when the Jonas Brothers released “Much Better”, and July 1, when Taylor posted on Myspace: “What else is new.. Recording a bunch of new songs. Lots of new things to write about…..”

Last Kiss: 2009 (Unknown)

Taylor: "The song "Last Kiss" is sort of like a letter to somebody. You say all of these desperate, hopeless feelings that you have after a breakup. Going through a breakup you feel all of these different things. You feel anger, and you feel confusion, and frustration. Then there is the absolute sadness. The sadness of losing this person, losing all the memories, and the hopes you had for the future. There are times when you have this moment of truth where you just admit to yourself that you miss all these things. When I was in one of those moments I wrote this song."

July 22, 2009: Tweets "Hanging with my producer Nathan, discussing the next adventure" and then in a separate tweet "...album #3."

Never Grow Up: Fall 2009 (Speculation)

Lover Diary Nathan Chapman: "The song 'Never Grow Up' is just she singing and I on acoustic guitar. We recorded ourselves live. That song probably happened in two hours." This could’ve been written at any time in 2009, but I put it here because she bought her Nashville apartment sometime before October.

September 8, 2009: Tweeted "Last night in nash before heading out tomorrow for 4 shows, then VMA's. But right now I can't put the guitar down."

September 13, 2009: VMAs Incident

Enchanted: September 15, 2009 (Confirmed)

On September 15, Taylor attended an Owl City Concert in New York Taylor: "It was about this guy that I met in New York City, and I had talked to him on email or something before, but I had never met him. And meeting him, it was this overwhelming feeling of: I really hope that you're not in love with somebody. And the whole entire way home, I remember the glittery New York City buildings passing by, and then just sitting there thinking, am I ever going to talk to this person again? And that pining away for a romance that may never even happen, but all you have is this hope that it could, and the fear that it never will. I started writing that in the hotel room when I got back. Because it just was this positive, wistful feeling of: I hope you understand just how much I loved meeting you. I hope that you know that meeting you was not something that I took lightly, or just in passing. And I think my favorite part of that song is the part where, in the bridge, it goes to sort of a stream of consciousness of ‘Please don't be in love with someone else/Please don't have somebody waiting on you.' Because at that moment, that's exactly what my thoughts were. And it feels good to write exactly what your thoughts were in a certain moment.”

September 26, 2009: Taylor plays in Little Rock, Arkansas, and possibly writes a song: "I'd get my best ideas at 3:00 AM in Arkansas, and didn't have a co-writer around and I'd just finish it. And that would happen again in New York [Enchanted & Back To December], that would happen again in Boston [Long Live], that would happen again in Nashville." (x)

October 17, 2009: Tweets "Travis: you look so out of it. Me: I'm writing a song in my head. Travis: oh, I apologize. I didn't realize you were working."

November 30, 2009: Tweets "If I had a dime for every time my producer and I blurt out the same thing at the same time, followed by an awkward, uncoordinated high five..."

Ours: December 6, 2009 (Inferring)

Myspace Post on December 6: “I just got back to Nashville this morning after being in LA all week. Today I was out and about and in the studio all day” Taylor: "I wrote this when I was about to turn 20. I was in a relationship I knew people wouldn't approve of, and it was just a matter of time before everyone found out. When you're first getting to know someone, it's a fragile time, and then you add newspapers and magazine covers and it can get kind of rough. I wanted to have this song to play for him when it got difficult. Singing it for him was one of the sweetest moments I can remember."

December 22, 2009: Tweets "I was writing a song and my pen fell into the piano. Still trying to figure out if I should do anything about this."

January 2010: Starts polishing up the demos made in 2009 into fully produced tracks

Billboard: "Swift and Chapman had begun recording new songs almost as soon as "Fearless" was released. The two cut demos in his basement studio and would only take those songs to larger facilities once they felt they had an emotional foundation in the basic tracks. Still, it wasn’t until early 2010 when the album truly began to coalesce." Nathan Chapman: "We stripped it down and made the demos first. Taylor came to my studio and I played all the instruments on the demos, and because I have a good vocal booth, her demo vocals ended up being the vocals you hear on the record. After finishing the demos, we went out to different studios, and tried different combinations of engineers and musicians to replace some of the elements of my demos, mostly the programmed drums, and to do additional overdubs. [...] A pop artist would probably release what we'd done after five hours, but country artists don't want to hear programmed drums, they don't want to hear fake stuff. So once we had recorded the demos, we would book whatever studio we wanted for each song, to replace the drums, in many cases the bass, and to add whatever overdubs we envisioned, like fiddle, keyboards, percussion and strings. After we got the demos right, we opened it up and allowed ourselves to spend money and cut a big record." Taylor tweets on January 11: "Studio-ness with all the same boys who played on Fearless" and on January 13: "More recording. So excited. So excited. So excited. See, I said that three times. Once for every album we've made in this studio."

January 13, 2010: Posts on Myspace “Thank you January. I have had this month off. I have walked on snow-covered grass and discovered new coffee shops and laughed hysterically with friends about things that probably weren’t technically funny. I’ve written songs on napkins and sat at a giant table with my whole family on my mother’s birthday, all of us in one place for the first time in too long. I’ve gotten to take what has happened to me and process it to my full capability, and celebrate it the way it deserved to be celebrated. I’ve made new music. I’ve gone over the memories and jumped up and down with my producer and floated around with nothing on my schedule other than just appreciating what my life has somehow turned into. [...] Getting back in the studio with the same guys I trust and know and love.. (right, the pointing one: my producer Nathan Chapman) (Left, the waving one: Bass extraorinaire, Tim Marks. Clearly marked on his road case.) [...] Nick Buddha is in charge of the drums.”

February 13, 2010: Writes in her diary "I’ve been obsessing over the new album. I always do that until it’s just right. I don’t know if I have the formula just right for this one yet. I know there are great songs. I just need to figure out the strands that bond them together into a great album. And I will obsess until it’s there. This album, any album, is the next 2 years of my life. It has to be more than amazing. It has to be great enough to keep my attention for 2 years."

February 22, 2010: Posts on Myspace "I’ve been writing lots of songs"

Mine: March 10-12 2010 (Inferring)

Taylor (above interview, at 5:17): "I wrote Mine somewhere on the road, I think in Texas, actually." Nathan Chapman: "The demo for 'Mine' apparently took less than five hours to record, and sounded, according to Chapman, "almost identical to the record. After that we worked on the track for another four months, off and on, and spent $30,000 to make sure it sounded perfect in the real world."" Taylor: "This song is the first single because it has this…there was this moment between Nathan and I, my producer, when I brought this song in and when we made this demo in one day in his basement and we just kinda looked at each other and we were like, "This is it. This is the one. All of the times that I've had "The Moment" with songs of "This is the one," it's been a good call, so I'm hoping for the best on this one. Wish me luck." Scott Borchetta: "Mine" was a turning point in the album’s development. Swift and Chapman had begun recording new songs almost as soon as "Fearless" was released. The two cut demos in his basement studio and would only take those songs to larger facilities once they felt they had an emotional foundation in the basic tracks. Still, it wasn’t until early 2010 when the album truly began to coalesce. Swift presented "Mine" to Borchetta in his office [...] "We probably played that song four or five times," Borchetta recalls. "I’m jumping around playing air guitar, she’s singing the song back to me, and it was just one of those crazy, fun, Taylor teen-age moments."

March 13, 2010: Taylor records Mine, brings it to Scott Borchetta, and says she’s done with TS3

Scott Borchetta: "I said, ‘Keep going,’ [...] She kind of looked at me like, ‘You’re challenging me.’ And I said, ‘Yeah. You’ve found true north here. Keep going.’ " Taylor: “During Speak Now, when I went to (label head) Scott Borchetta and said, 'The album’s finished,’ he said, 'No, it’s not – you need to keep writing.’” (Right after playing in Texas, Taylor leaves for a vacation in the Bahamas, meaning Taylor likely had about a day in Nashville between the two trips).

Innocent: Late March 2010 (Inferring)

Billboard: “It was some time in the period after that challenge — between February and June — that Swift wrote “Innocent,” her response to the Kanye West incident.” Taylor: “Some songs take 30 minutes to write, and some take six months, which was the case with “Innocent.” When things affect me intensely and really hit me hard, it can take a while to figure out what I think about it and what to say about it.” (March would be just over 6 months since the VMAs).

March 24, 2010: Taylor goes lunch with Taylor Lautner and both of their publicists, inspiring Back To December.

Taylor: Swift says she based the song on a conversation she had with the guy about whom she's singing. "It's not loosely based," she says. "It's almost word-for-word. It is a song and a conversation that needed to happen, because I don't want to hurt people. If you unintentionally do so, you've got to make that better."

Speak Now: Early April, 2010 (Inferring)

On April 3, Taylor attended the wedding of Josh Farro as Hayley Williams (who is Josh's ex) plus one. That day she also tweeted: ""Nathan you smell really good! Is that a new cologne?" "Thanks! Actually it's a two in one shampoo and soap. From Dial." My producer rules." implying she was in the studio. The conversation below could have happened any day after the VMA awards in September, when Hayley first reached out to Taylor, but I think Taylor probably wrote the song fairly close to naming the album after it. Taylor: "This song was inspired by one of my friends who was telling me about her childhood sweetheart, crush guy. They were kind of together in high school and went their separate ways, and it was kind of understood that they were gonna get back together. Then, she one day comes in and tells me he's getting married. He had met this girl who was just this mean person who made him completely stop talking to all of his friends, cut off his family, had him like so completely isolated. And I just, kind of randomly, was like, "So, you gonna speak now?" She was like, "What do you mean?" And I was like "Oh, you know, like storm the church, speak now or forever hold your peace? I'll go with you. I'll play guitar. It would be great." She was just kind of laughing, and later on I just was wrapping my mind around that idea of how tragic it would be if someone you loved was marrying somebody else. Later I had a dream about one of my ex-boyfriends getting married, and it just all came together that I needed to write this song about interrupting a wedding. For me, I like to think of it as good versus evil, and this girl is so completely painted as the evil one. So this is "Speak Now.""

April 13, 2010: Names TS3 Speak Now

Lover Diaries: "So I’ve been obsessing over the new record to the point where it’s all I can focus on. I’m majorly stressed and borderline losing it, with all these lists and chronic dissatisfaction. Perfectionist-ness. I keep growing tired of songs because I know I’ve raised the bar and I can beat half the songs. Scott and I had lunch the other day. We were talking about the record and I had this epiphany. I didn’t talk in interviews about how I felt about much of what has happened in the last 2 years. I’ve been silent about so much that I’m saying on this album. It’s time to Speak Now. Scott freaked out. He loved it. We have a title, ladies and gentlemen!" Scott Borchetta: ""At one point, the record was not called ‘Speak Now.’ It was called ‘Enchanted,’ [...] We were at lunch, and she had played me a bunch of the new songs. I looked at her and I’m like, ‘Taylor, this record isn’t about fairy tales and high school anymore. That’s not where you’re at. I don’t think the record should be called "Enchanted."’” Swift excused herself from the table at that point. By the time she came back, she had the "Speak Now" title"

Dear John: Spring 2010 (Speculation)

This was likely written sometime after February 2010 (Taylor implies she's single in her vlog and her diary). Beyond that, it could have been anytime between February and June 2010.

Brief Interruption: The next two songs (Back to December and Mean) are going to use quotes from this interview that @1989worldtour found. If you've already listened to the interview attached to the Mine section, then it's the same interview

Back To December: Early May, 2010 (Inferring)

Taylor (above interview, at 5:12): "Back to December was written in New York City. Taylor was in New York city from May 3-5, and May 12-15 2010. she was not photographed in New York any other time in early 2010, and given her busy touring schedule, I doubt she was in New York at another time. USA TODAY: “Swift says she based the song on a conversation she had with the guy about whom she's singing. "It's not loosely based," she says. "It's almost word-for-word. It is a song and a conversation that needed to happen, because I don't want to hurt people. If you unintentionally do so, you've got to make that better."”

Mean: May 29, 2010 (Speculation)

Taylor (above interview, about 6 minutes in): "I started this song called Mean on my, like sitting on my kitchen counter, just playing it, and then, you know, took a plane and flew to the venue where we were gonna play that night and finished it in the dressing room." Now, this may be a too literal interpretation of "took a plane and flew to the venue where we were gonna play that night," but if we want to theorize: the only tour date (that Taylor could've conceivably written Mean during) without another show right before or after it was in Baton Rogue on May 29, 2010.

Long Live: June 2010 (Confirmed)

Lover Diary She likely wrote this around June 5, when she ended the Fearless Tour at Gillette Stadium (Wikipedia counts two festivals as being part of the Fearless Tour but Taylor doesn't, so I'm going with her opinion), since she said that she wrote a song for Speak Now in Boston (which is the closest major city to Gillette)

The Story Of Us: June 9-16, 2010 (Confirmed)

Taylor attended the CMT Awards (Which goes on to be the secret message for The Story Of Us) on June 9 and was sat very close to John Mayer. Taylor: "The people closest to me are used to me deserting a conversation and bolting into some corner of the room with my phone out, hunched over, singing some melody or lyric or hook into my phone. I wrote “The Story of Us” about running into an ex at an awards show, and I came home and sat down at a kitchen table and told my mom, “I felt like I was standing alone in a crowded room.” She tried to console me, but I was gone at that point." Lover Diary: "So I’ve been a little studio rat since the tour ended [...] Ever since, I wake up to my cell phone alarm around 9:30 each morning. Throw on a sundress, skip make up, tie my hair in a messy side braid, and head out the door with no shoes on. Because the only walking outside I’ll be doing is from my house to my car, then from my car, three steps to Nathan’s basement studio. [...] I worked on a song for a few days, then basically finished it in the car on the way to Nathan’s this morning. It. Is. So. Good. And I can safely say I am DONE writing this record!! This song is up-tempo, and hooky and sort of torn-sounding … like this horrible stressed confusion that comes on when you knew the person you’re pining away for is in the room. And for some reason, there are these invisible walls keeping things from being ok. So you’re not fine. And they’re not fine. And I’m so happy I wrote that song!! Footage of Taylor working on TSOU

June 30, 2010: Taylor tweets “@amosjheller is SLAYING a bass part in the studio right now. http://twitpic.com/21am7t”

Footage Nathan Chapman: “We tried several bassists until we had a bass part that worked, which was played by Amos Heller, of Taylor's live band. In Nashville, it's rare for a road musician to be on the record, but he earned his way into this record by kicking ass. In fact, all Taylor's road musicians played some parts on the album, which was important for me and her.”

July 15, 2010: The orchestra for Back To December and Haunted are recorded (footage here, same outfit as these candids)

Taylor (talking about Haunted): “I wanted the music and the orchestration to reflect the intensity of the emotion the song is about, so we recorded strings with Paul Buckmaster at Capitol Studios in Los Angeles. It was an amazing experience - recording this entire big, live string section that I think in the end really captured the intense, chaotic feeling of confusion I was looking for."

And that's all for this timeline! Check out my others:

TIMELINES: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights PLAYLISTS: debut • fearless • speak now • red • 1989 • rep • lover • folklore • evermore • midnights • entire discography GENERAL: tag

#txt*#timeline*#taylor swift #if this deletes again i might actually delete my account #let me know if theres a typo or anything my eyes are glazing over

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blushblushbear · 2 months

Note

Fck it- let’s get some ANGST rolling

All the boys reacting to their S/O dying right in front of them, and they are partially responsible for it.

Doesn’t matter how; freak accident, prank/date gone wrong, ppl who have a personal vendetta against them and want revenge- I want to know how they react and how they move on from that moment onwards (if they do at all)

DO.YOUR.WORST!!!

(I’m new to this fandom btw. Hi!! 👋🏼 I rly like your writing :)

AHHHH THANK YOU! I try weirdly hard to do a decent job

but yeah okay *cracks knuckles* let's get into it B)

SHIT'S UNDER THE CUT CAUSE IT'S A LOT AND IT'S DEPRESSING

tw: character death, death in general, violence, gun violence, depression, grief, guilt, heartbreak

Nimh

So I think Nimh's is a freak accident

I think you two are just walking along the side walk together and it's nice and normal and peaceful

and then a car swerves off the road and right towards you two

let's sad for added against you pushed him out of the way on instinct

I think his vision is actually blurred at first when he looks up from his spot in a bush

he does have a heart condition so that amount of shock is gonna make him legitimately dizzy

he almost dies right there when he looks over and sees you unconscious on the ground surrounded by blood

he is full on having a panic attack and can't breath and honestly everything is a dizzy blur for the next few hours

he falls over again just running over to you and is lost to the world as the rest of the scene unfolds around him

he's full on not seeing or hearing anything as he holds you bleeding in his arms

he doesn't even notice how badly he's hyperventilating

you actually don't die right there on the spot

you're put in an ambulance and rushed to the er and then to the icu and Nimh is in the hospital with you

They're also taking care of him as well since he is actually pretty banged up and is clearly having a serve panic attack and might legit pass out if not tended to

when you finally get to the hospital and start to wheel you away to the icu as other er staff are looking over him as a patient he pretty much starts loosing his shit

he wants to go with you but they need to make sure he's okay too

he's sobbing as they take his vitals

you last a few days and he never leaves your side

his parents come by to bring him food and clean clothes and a blanket but he's not leaving you once he's found you again in the icu

it's terrifying to him how still and hurt you look

he talks to you while you're out

honestly for all 3 of those days, he still had hope

no matter what the doctors said

but when he woke up on the morning of the 4th day to the sound of your flat line he watched all his hopes and dreams crumble in front of him

his happy future he saw for himself died with you

he's honestly a depressive mess and his body has not taken to the stress well at all (heart condition and panic attacks)

it's made even worse by the fact that he keeps having dreams about you

that always turn into nightmares where he relives holding you lifeless and bleeding in his arms

I'm going to be honest

I think due to the mix of the stress this puts on his already frail body

and the fact that he's sort of lost his will to live

he actually only lasts a few months after the accident

he was already lucky enough to make it this fair into his life, lucky enough to find the strength to always keep trying and make his body better, lucky enough to find you

but I guess his luck ran out

for what it's worth, I do think he goes peacefully in his sleep

dreaming about you

but a good dream this time

it's just tragic all around

poor Nimh

Volks

Volks' is another nice day turned tragic

You guys had gone out hiking, and he had helped you climb a tree because he really wanted to show you the view

it was taller than you had ever climbed but he promised that he wouldn't let anything happen to you

and as you too are looking at the view--- well, YOU are looking at the view, Volks is looking at you pretty much the whole time (like he always does)

but for a brief moment he took his eyes off you to also look at the view with you

and in that moment a strong wind shook the branch and made you loose your balance

your security tie failed and you went tumbling

that split second moment went by like an hour to Volks

the sudden realization that you weren't there

then looking down and seeing you falling

it took all of his will power to not instinctively jump after you

but when he saw you hit the ground he never scrambled down a tree so quickly

every part of him was shaking and his heart was pounding in his ears

he came up to you and you were still alive, but badly hurt

he gently cradled you in his arms and noticed you had blood coming out of your head

he pulled you onto his back panicking

calling 911 with his shaking hand

he met them on the side of the road and rode with you in the back of the ambulance

the whole time he was just staring wide eyed and pale at you

you were alive and moving but you were so out of it

the ems said you had definitely hit your head on something on the fall (probably a rock) and that you had several broken bones

you got none of that

Volks heard every word of it loud and clear like the worst was being confirmed for him

and he was responding to none of it

just staring at you

when you got to the hospital, his mom was already rushing out to meet the paramedics

you had met her a few times, she really liked you a lot, and especially liked how happy you made her son

she was taking charge since you were already like family to her

when they wheeled you back she told Volks to follow

your vitals were starting to tank and you've lost too much blood

the er room was a panicked frenzy that you were too out of it to comprehend

and the whole time Volks just kept staring at you

in your state, you were trying to make anything out

then you looked over at Volks

and when you looked at him there was this look of recognition and almost like relief

he stared back at your eyes, dull and distant but fully seeing him, the blood running down your forehead ruining the tenderness this look would've otherwise brought him

he didn't realize it yet, but he was tearing up

you reached out your hand to him weakly

he practically jumped forward, walking to you and taking your hand

your grip was weak and there was dirt and blood on your palms

you squeezed his hand as best you could manage

and you smiled at him

gazing lovingly into his eyes

and as he gazed back into yours

he watched as your bright eyes went dark

and then unfocused

he heard the single note of you leaving

and felt a panic he'd never known before as your hand slipped from his

his vision blurred as he just stood there shaking in disbelief

he couldn't find any words or form any thoughts as tears streamed down his cheeks

in a distance he heard his mom's voice

he heard his name

she was saying something

she felt her hand numb on his back

but he couldn't take any of it in

he just stared at you

for maybe the last time

you were just here and now you were gone

his contact finally broke when his mom pulled him away into a hug

she was crying on his shoulder, and holding her baby boy so tight

Volks blinked and it all hit him at once

and he broke down in his mothers arms as they crumpled to the floor together and sobbed

months went by

and he barely left the house

he went back and forth between staring at the wall and looking back over pictures you took together and texts you had sent

then crying

then back to the wall

his mom checked in on him a lot

but he's barely there anymore

on one visit she brings him food and notices a rose in a vase with fresh water

it's one he brought home from your funeral

it's long dead but he keeps watering it

for the millionth time Volks' mom preaches the helpfulness of grief counseling and invites him to join her this week at the group meeting

he refuses and she goes back to unloading the food she brought him into his fridge

he's not eating much though

on her way out she kisses his forehead and tells him she loves him

she stops at the door

and looks back at the rose

then her son

'you know.... they would've wanted you to be happy... that's all they ever wanted...'

Volks is silent for a while

his mom sighs and gets ready to leave again

'hey mom....'

she turns

'...what time is the therapy group?'

Kelby

Ya know, weirdly enough, I think Kelby actually handles all this the healthiest of all the boys??

also before I give an actual death lemme just say it's really hard for me to think of something for Kelby that's not Final Destination levels of insane lol

but no, okay okay

ahem

I think with Kelby it's just a regular ol' run of the mill daily tragedy

You're driving together, he's at the wheel, you guys are probably headed to a nice day at the beach

or back from a nice day at the beach

it's late but he's careful

but the sad truth is careful doesn't matter when other people drink and drive

your car is hit head on by someone going twice the speed limit, and your side of the car takes the main impact

I think unlike the previous two guys, you don't get a hospital goodbye

you are most likely dead on impact

and Kelby's not looking too hot either

I think he passes out in an ambulance and wakes up a few hours later to a few new injuries and the shocking news that you didn't make it

pretty sure everyone can hear his wails from down the hall

He's actually basically crying off an on for the next few years

he spends time with family

time with friends

looks at pictures

reads old texts

cries and cries and cries

he goes to therapy and goes through the moitons

but no matter what he can't fight this new hole he feels

the one where all his love for you went

I think he actually becomes an advocate for safe driving

and joins a lot of support groups

He actually helps a lot of people work through their pain

and that helps him work through his

the sad truth about this kind of thing is that it really is a mundane tragedy

that feels like an oxymoron but this sudden heartbreak happens everyday

but through the proper channels, Kelby has found ways to cope

though every now and then the loneliness does get him

how can it not

but if he can't spend the rest of his life with you

then he'll dedicate the rest of it in your memory

and help others do the same

also he keeps your picture by his bedside and talks to it frequently

telling you good morning and good night and such

He never stops missing you

Eli

I feel like with Eli, it really is something outlandish

Like he convinced you to go romantically dancing in the rain and you got struck by lightening

and to other people he laughs it off

'ain't life a bitch, at least they went out in a blaze of glory, they always were electrifying,' etc etc etc

but the truth of the matter is he's deeply and unbelievably upset about this

at his core, he's inconsolable

and he probably jokes about that too

'haha I'm dead inside actually! :)'

he has started seeing a therapist

he's got a lot to unpack

also I know there's not super explicit alcohol mentions in the game

but we know Eli is a party boy

and he's def developed a drinking problem over this

he doesn't know how to handle his feelings so he stays out all night partying like he would do with you

tearing shit up and drinking his feelings away

all so he can stumble home alone and pass out immediately so he doesn't have to contemplate how utterly empty and pointless his big fancy apartment feels

or how empty and pointless he feels

he's also dabbled in some drugs but he's trying to be real careful about that since he doesn't wanna wake up in an alley way (at least not cause of drugs-- he might a few times over booze though)

I think there was a time Eli had a lot of self hatred growing up followed by full self acceptance and self celebration

but he doesn't feel like celebration himself right now

he's pretty sure you'd be disguised with what he's become in your absence

hence the going to therapy

he hasn't found the right therapist just yet but he's going to keep trying

he liked the good things about himself, he liked the good things about you, and all the good things you saw in him, even the stuff he didn't always see as good himself

he wants to like himself again

the way he did when he had you loving him

he truly felt the happiest with you around

but now

he lives in the club

and drinks till dawn

he wakes up in a haze

feeling sick as shit

slowly gets himself together-ish

and ends up wondering what his life has become without you

has a coffee

and a headache

reads some poetry or listens to a song that reminds him of you

ulgy cries for a bit until his headache is worse

calms down enough to eat (well, less calm and more too burnt out)

rinse, repeat.

He doesn't plan to do this forever

he doesn't want to do this forever

someday he's gonna find a way to be happy again without you

though nothing will ever compare to the great love of his life that surprised him out of nowhere

Anon

okay here me out this might be a little too real BUT

bitch I think he got swatted

he messed around with the wrong dude and he got swatted

it got messy

you were there when it happened

he is pressing SO MANY CHARGES

he is a wreck

there's a movement online to try and help and support him through this trying time but honestly

he sees very little of it

he's sort of logged off for a while

actually a long while

he moved houses cause he was just too scared and traumatized

he couldn't stay in the house he watched you get shot in

he's going to so much therapy but it's not helping much

well, it is actually

just not in ways he's seeing or feeling

normally he'd get his revenge asap but like

that sort of thing is what got him into this mess

he is still taking all the legal action he can though

got the best lawyers on his side

SOMEONE is going to jail hell or high water

but it doesn't help fill the hole

he spends a lot of time lying in silence

or going outside

or staring at a blank screen that isn't turned on

he's actually not sure he'll ever get out of this whole

he looks at his phone from time to time but only to look at pictures of you

it's not connected to the internet or anything

eventually he finally feels up to trying to be online for an afternoon

maybe check his socials a bit and play a game

that's when he finally sees the out pour of condolences people have left for him

it actually makes him feel better

you know that bit in that lil nas song 'strangers make you feel so loved, ya know?'

that's him right now

he will never get over this

not even a little bit

and I think he's done using his powers to fuck around

I think eventually he will get to something resembling his old self but

you're still his desktop background

and he's never not going to feel that void you left

or the crushing guilt that flows

Garret

oh man

what to do with Garret

GEEZ uhhhh

I think with Garret, he just wakes up one morning with you in his arms and you're pale and unmoving

I think for him we're gonna say brain aneurysm

you just had one in your sleep overnight and there was nothing anyone could do

he was a panicking sobbing mess the whole time he waited for emergency services with you in his arms

and he wasn't much better while riding in the ambulance with you (he refused to leave your side)

you were barely breathing the whole ride and stopped breathing before you even made it to the hospital

despite the fact that literally none of this was his fault and absolutely there was nothing anyone could do he still blames himself

you died in his arms

he should've been able to do something

I think after a few years of group therapy he finally manages to get back to something like his old self

but he still breaks down in a sobbing wreck every now and then over this all

and he misses you every day

I think he constantly goes back and forth on whether to get rid of the bed you two shared on the night you died

on the one hand you died in that bed (sort of)

but on the other that's the last place you were together

either way he still hasn't gotten rid of it

and he has a locket with your picture in it that he never takes off

Dmitri

I'm running out of way for you to die guys

I think let's go with you were visiting him at the coffee shop and one of the espresso machines exploded, injuring 3 and killing 1 (that's you) (.....shut up I'm trying)

a coffee bean was launched right into your heart

so tragic

he like all the others go into a depressive state but he does very melo-drama about it

lots of tears and wilted roses and sobbing while draped across a sofa holding a framed photo of you

love poems, robe, tissues, ice cream, empty bottles of wine

his sister comes to visit him every day but it doesn't help

I honestly think he never lets this go

he wears this sorrow on his sleeve like a memorium to you

he vows he will never love again and he keeps it

there's a lot of talking to his main framed picture of you (he has a lot) and telling you about his day or his family or how much he misses you

that last bit usually comes up

he's definitely drinking more wine than before

he's not full Eli binging but he definitely gets it down

If he had a ring he was going to propose with (and he probably did let's be real), he wears it now around his neck

a reminder of the happy ending with you he will never get to see

Ichiban

I think this one actually is a prank gone wrong

or at least a video gone wrong

he actually quits his channel for a while out of guilt

he just can't stand running it

he eventually comes back for the fans but it takes like a full year before they hear from him

he spends a lot of time being depressed in the dark

playing games and sometimes talking to himself like he's talking to you

he has a really great therapist that helps him a lot with the guilt and grief

when he does eventually come back, he has a much greater boundary between his online life and his personal life

he also doesn't do stunts/pranks EVER

he actually only updates here and there cause he's putting his focus into more artist projects

the first one is an exploration of grief and how it can change a person

he's got a lot of guests from all over the internet who are here to share their stories of loss that were going on behind the camera

it's very soul bearing all around and it actually is seen as an over all good

it made a lot of people feel seen and less alone

including him

nothing will ever replace you

but he's using his fame now to let people know they aren't alone, so hopefully that's something

William

I think with William you were at the clinic visiting him and something venomous bit you

most likely a snake

you were rushed to the hospital and given anti-venom, but it was too late, the damage was already done

I think he is actually the most functional of all the dudes after the fact

like he's very much Not Okay, but he's trying his best to get through his day

the moment he gets home though he enters into the most mournful slump

he puts a record on and drinks a glass of wine and stares at your picture and just

mourns

he finds himself missing you throughout his day but the second he gets home it's a little all consuming

he's honestly kind of resigned to spending the rest of his life alone mourning you

maybe in a few years from now, he'll try for love again

but he already knows it's not going to be the same

he's always going to feel the weight of your loss on his heart

Myx

I think with Myx it's probably a very sudden yet terminal diease

he puts everything on pause to be with you for as long as he can

he gets about a few months (it's still not enough)

after another few months away from everything spent mourning he finally returns to the stage

he has basically a whole new albums worth of songs

each one of them was him working through his loss and pain

you know those albums you listen to from an artist, and you're just like 'who hurt you???'

yeah, this one is his

except the answer is life

or more specifically death

the amount of times he cries on stage performing some of these songs is unsurprising

a lot of fans send him letters of encouragement and condolences

and flowers

so many flowers

your funeral was actually a sea of flowers

some from friends and family

some from Myx's fans

but honestly mostly from Myx

his next album isn't quite so consumed with grief but honestly-- the subject always comes back up

there's also a few songs for you in there that are really sweet

it's not all tears and heartache

a few happy memories immortalized in song

though a lot of fans and critics consider the ones he wrote during that first year without you some of his most compelling and heartfelt bits of work

and it only cost him everything...

Stirling

Let us pretend my previous post about the reader gaining immortality does not exist

Stirling loses you to time

like so many things before you

and many things after

your loss stings the most though

he stayed with you until the end of your life

loving you every moment he could find

and even making some himself

but he's learned the hard way that all good things must come to an end

and frankly you were the best thing, so your end left the biggest shadow

he misses you every moment of his eternity

so many paintings and portraits of you throughout your years hang in his walls

but none of them ever did do you justice

he's found ways, like this, to surround himself with some version of your presence

though it never fully chases away the loneliness

he embraces the end gracefully

though every so often, when the night is clear and the stars are bright

he can't help but look into the heavens

think of you

and weep

Scale

Scale lost you to an enemy assassin

He doesn't know if they were going for him and just missed

or if they meant to target you just to get at him

but either way he watched in horror as a dart flew into your neck, and you fell to the ground motionless

He never stops blaming himself

He knew he was no good for you and he stuck around anyways

and look where that got you

he spends months hunting down and killing the assassin that did you in

but even bringing justice to your end doesn't make him feel any better

okay, maybe it helps a little, but it's still not enough

he sort of slinks into solitude for several years following your death

he also takes a vow of silence (for some reason--- he won't say why)

he frequently visits your grave and mourns you

he also reads over your old text convos

and he cries

a lot

he kind of lost his heart on that day

and it's truly doubtful he'll ever get it back

not with you gone

Sven

I think this one is another car

I know it's very sudden at the least

he doesn't really know how to process it at all

he's actually in quite the downward spiral for the next few months

going back and forth between trying to remain positive and being a sobbing wreck

bruh, I think your loss kinda broke him

he's seeing like 3 different therapists

they're helping a little

he still sobs uncontrollably at least once a day

honestly, I don't think he ever truly gets back to his old self

he just can't anymore

Cole

heheheheh *CRACKS KNUCKLES*

He's not sure how it happened

all he knows is that he came to on the floor next to you

He was holding you

and there was a lot of blood

you were already cold, your warmth long gone

and his head was spinning

everything was a fog

what had he...

he remembers feeling jealous

and helpless

and angry

he sort of blacked out in a spiral

there's vague flashes

you pinned behind him as

no.

no no no no no no no.

he couldn't have.

he wouldn't have.

h-he didn't mean to.

you can't be.

he staring down at your still body, limp and lifeless in his arms.

all the pieces are coming back together.

it's all coming back to him.

he let's out a nervous laugh as he shakes you gently and says your name.

It all had to be a bad dream.

That was all a dream.

He could never have...

please wake up...

he's so sorry...

please wake up...

...just be a bad dream...

Poe

I think for Mr. Poet we're gonna have to go Byronic on his ass

that's right, it's Consumption baby! Aka tuberculosis!

basically meaning you get real sick

and he's with you every step of the way

staying by your side as your body gives out

documenting ever turn with a new bit of writing or poem

he's never been so prolific

nor so heartbroken

he doesn't share any of the poems about you

He actually might pull a Dickinson and never share them

only to have them found and published after his death

he doesn't know how many pages he filled sitting by your bed side as you slept

he keeps a book of pressed flowers from throughout your decline

flowers he brought you, or ones given by the hospital or friends, a few flowers from your funeral

He probably spends the rest of his life even more listless than before

definitely more heart broken

he moves on in his writing (at least for the stuff he shares publicly)

but he never moves on in his heart

Cashew

I'm unsure how this one happens, but the follow up is the same

I think after a month or so, he tries to go back to his usual life

tries to get up, go to classes, go about his life

but he can't really care anymore

he's just going through the motions

he reads a lot of books where there's a character death to cope

also a lot of romance

and a lot of crying

he's kind of a shut in off and on for about a year

he slowly but surely bounces back

learns to be happy again

be he always knows he would be happier with you

there's a lot of pictures of you and him still floating around

he likes to try and remember you always

even if it hurts, seeing your face still makes him feel a little better

he's also def a member of the talks to your picture a lot squad

one of your pictures is his good luck charm

he got it laminated and uses it as a book mark so you can still kinda 'read with him'

Seth

OH BOY

he thought he wasn't going to care much since he deals with souls all the time

but he truly forgot what this was and now he's pissed

cocky fucker legit forgot that he lives in hell

and that's not where you end up

he doesn't really mourn like the rest of them cause you're not really gone

but he does still miss you

and is trying to tug at every string he can to try and either get himself up there or you down here

it's his new main goal, but it's gonna be a tough one

he keeps trying to trade your soul for others but the folks upstairs ain't buying it

this honestly feels like more of a set up for a rom com manga than anything else lol what is this even doing here IT'S NOT SAD ENOUGH

Logan

oh okay his can get very sad

I think his is going to be learning the hard way that you can't save everyone

and that no matter how hard to plan for something, things can still go wrong

(maybe he should be spider-man...)

but yeah, he was definitely one of the emergency services that responds to yours

he heard your address and got there so fast

but it wasn't fast enough

this loss legit takes him the majority of his life to get over

he was honestly planning to spend the rest of his life with you and that future went up in smoke

he goes to a lot of therapy, both group and one on one

and it helps

but not by much

he's definitely a different person after this all

a little less cheerful, a lot more serious

and hard to believe it but a little better at his job

he went from eye wide newbie with a hero complex to grizzled vet who knows how bad it can really get

and hey look another member of the pictures of you everywhere and he also talks to them squad

keeps a picture of you in the pocket of his fire jacket, near his chest

I mean, he already did that but now it hits different

also wears the ring he had gotten for you around his neck

(though not while working, fire fighters tend to not wear jewelry on the job cause metal hot)

lots of tears

lots of cuddle puddles with the rescue animals

occasionally names one after you

you were the love of his life

still are

Reece

Reece's is definitely a wacky space adventure gone wrong

he's shaken by the loss of you

I don't know how it happened but I know it was very sudden

spends a while in his ship just staring into the middle distance

he can't believe your gone

he spends a lot of time traveling around licking his wounds

also marshaling his forces to go face down whatever entity took you from this universe

tried to go back and save you but it always ends the same

after his last attempt he actually goes back in time to before you two even met and watches you from a distance

you look so happy, you have no idea what's about to happen to your life

he doesn't regret meeting you but he wonders often if things would've been better for YOU if he hadn't

flies solo for a few centuries

every now and then stops by and visits you in a time where you two still hadn't met

admittedly he's stalking you a bit but just in small bursts

it hurts a lot, but it also makes him feel better

try as he might, there's just some things he can never change

and the closer to home it hits, the more it hurts

Aki

WHOO BOY another immortal/semi-immortal character!

I think for all the fox boys we're going to just have you go of natural causes, no immortality for you

it's both hard for him to be sad about this and equally as impossible to not be devastated

on the one hand, you two had a beautiful life together

and having you in each others lives made them so full

but Aki's learning for the first time that part of being a kistune is seeing all good things end while you have to keep going

honestly I think all Kistune to some degree are like Aki, then Haru, then Fuyu as time goes on

like they all start to some degree young and wild and mischievous, then eventually calm a bit more and chill as they mature, and then being a live for so long matures them to such a level they're almost un-reacting cause they've seen it all

everyone's a little different but it's always roughly the same path

and this is Aki's first

you're Aki's first

his first everything

his first great love

his first great life mate

his first great loss

like all kistune before him, this is an aging mark

he's going to be a different person on the other side of this

he's still going to be Aki, just a different version of Aki

one that knows what it means to hurt on this level

he takes about a century to get over it--- well as over it as he's ever gonna get

he may one day have another mate or take another lover

but it will never be like how it was with you

I'm actually not sure if he ever pairs off with someone else for good (I'm honestly not sure any of them do)

and no matter how much time and experience changes him

or how many years pass

he still thinks back on his time with you often and gets all warm again

Haru

SO!

Natural causes, no immortality for you, you just get old and die

so they way I was talking with Aki and how all kistune probably have a similar life path as they age visa vee experiences and firsts

Haru actually is the way he is cause he was trying to AVOID that at all costs

he ran through life trying his damnest to not let anyone get too close cause he doesn't wanna deal

ESPECIALLY humans

sad, pathetic, emotional, short lived little humans

but then you actually managed to break through

and he kind of like--- got it then

like he gets it now

he understands how a connection can be worth the risk of pain

though I will say he does start the relationship fully in denial about the inevitable

he doesn't want to talk about loss, he doesn't want to think of you dying, he doesn't want to have to figure out what a world without you would be like

I think the biggest slap to the face Haru has ever gotten is when he gave you one of his 'I'm gonna spend the rest of my life pleasing you' and you kinda gently threw out 'well.... the rest of MY life anyway...'

I think hearing it from you made him actually like--- hear it ya know???

he generally doesn't loose his cool much but he def looses it then

or anytime someone brings up that you're mortal

I think all of the kitsune do at some point try and find a way to make you immortal but with Haru it's low key a thing he never gave up on

he's not always actively searching, but he's searching on the down low

weirdly I think the person that helps him cope the most with your death is you

YOU knew what you were getting into

and you're not afraid to talk about it with him

especially cause he has a hard time staying mad at you so you can kinda say whatever

he takes a lot of solace in the fact that he made your life very happy

and he enjoys the fuck out of every moment you two have together

he tries so hard not to dwell on it

but once it actually comes and is in front of him

he has a hard time processing

he's not good at processing big feelings okay

I think he might become a drunk for a while

just a grumpy depressed drunk

he actually goes back and forth between a picture of you being the last thing he wants to see and the only thing he wants to see

he's another person whose going to come out different on the other side of the loss

I think he tried at one point to take another lover but he ended up getting upset, and kicked them out before anything could happen cause he just wanted you

and now he's alone and drunk and crying, look what you've done to him

ngl I think he becomes that like--- emotionally wounded, grizzled, often drunk samurai type (like Yasuo back at the star of his story)

he went from fuck boy to lover boy to grumpy older dude whose a little stand off-ish but honestly he's actually very sweet he just has a lot of pain to work through

also even though your face is sometimes the last thing he wants to see (partly cause he's ashamed at what a wreck he's become without you), he still keeps a picture of you near his heart

Fuyu

I'm so tempted to have your end be violent with Fuyu cause he's mr. war crimes but honestly

I think growing to trust again and learning the lesson that violence was never the answer is not only Fuyu's character arch, but low key all of the kistune boys character archs????

but yeah, so no, despite my temptations

natural causes, old age, no immortality for you

so Fuyu is no stranger to death or loss

and he has seen people he cared about die (fandom headcanons, one of them WAS Natsu and I am behind the idea that he didn't wanna do it)

but you just hit differently

he truly never met anyone like you

nor has he loved anyone as deeply

nor will he again for that matter

he tries his best to mourn your death with grace

but behind closed doors he's a sobbing wreck

I think the full time line of Fuyu at least for the parts that we see him are as follows

Angy, deep down Very Sad and Lonely, Uptight, RAWR -> Learns to chill and love and repent and be more open and is just generally still kinda stuffy and stiff but a lot more warm and happy -> still not the monster he once allowed himself to become, still a bit stuffy but also still chill, very solemn, very sad

so he didn't loose his gentleness that his time with you taught him

but he did get back his sad and lonely

He thinks about you everyday

and talks to your spirit in his moments alone

( not actually your--- you're not a ghost, making that clear--- more your memory)

you honestly made him a much better dude

and your company lead to him being able to open himself to more people

but none of them are you

and they never can be

he still writes you poetry

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evilwickedme · 1 year

Text

This wasn't asked for because nobody in their right mind would ask for this but this is a fic rec list of fics I cannot stop rereading

Just started yet another reread of Inimitable Verse by deniigiq and I fully plan on rereading their into the multiverse series which occasionally crosses over also - this is a Spider-Man/team red focused series, think comics canon infused early mcu-spidey since only homecoming had come out for a non substantial amount of time they were working on the series and the daredevil stuff is explicitly tv show AND comics. Also the multiverse series is how I got into Murderdock and therefore how I got into Spider Gwen

Unpretty's Sorrowful And Immaculate Hearts series which is just a loosely interconnected series of DC fics. My personal favorites are Empty Graves, in which Martha Kent keeps killing time travelers trying to kill baby! Clark; any of their clois fics but especially Third Wheel; and Anti-Social, which is a social media fic mostly about Tim and Bruce that made me cry laughing. Catch Bruce trying to get Walmart's employees to unionize. Also shout out to unpretty's only fic with Jason in it, it looks awesome but is tragically incomplete

This particular Reverse Robin AU which put in the work to reverse every single younger generation and is chef's kiss I LOVE this version of Tim he's wild

Both of Shoalsea's fics are in constant rotation for me I talk about Into The Brighter Night all the time in the tags of reblogs and stuff it truly lives in my head rent free. Anyway Tim gets kidnapped by aliens and the batfam have to watch as yj98 saves him and it's angsty and funny and such a good take on what could have been if the new 52 hadn't happened. And Compassion Builds No House is about Tim and Pru from Red Robin. Ugh they're both so good

Speaking of Clois (I did you've just forgotten this by now) brilliant (like a confession) by kathkin (penny-anna on the hellsite) is so fucking good I'm. Okay. Anyway it'll be listed as inspiration if/when I finally post my two person love triangle fic for them

I'm too anxious to catch up on this before it's done but jumble sale chic is hands down the best spideydevil fic series despite and because of the omegaverse

Make A Little Birdhouse In Your Soul is my favorite take on Jason, period, and has a lot of fantastic Damian stuff going on too. It's updating every few weeks still! Sometimes more often! I love you bacondoughnut it's me JustGail the person who will not stop commenting on your fic you're stuck with me forever

I lied above Rumspringa Murderdock is what got me into Murderdock but that series is second place. I found this one while scrolling through the tv show's mattfoggy tag, thinking I was safe

Speaking of Murderdock mattfoggy, The Lawyer All the Wickedness was written early on in spider-gwen's history and so diverges from canon really early in ways that I think are super interesting and creative

Oh also straight on 'til morning by merils (Tumblr url mamawasatesttube) does SUCH a great job unpacking Kon's trauma and building up healthy relationships around him including a budding timkon romance and yeah it makes me sad and happy at the same time

We're getting into poisonivory territory so just trust if you like the pairing and poisonivory is writing it you'll like it. Ok rapidfire

Like A Handprint On My Heart mattfoggy soulmate au with a twist

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow? Damijon future fic/au. Jon came back from the future when both of them were 19. Demisexual!Damian at its best. Damian's terrified of being abandoned by Jon again and it made my heart hurt

I feel like I've already recommended every JayRoy fic by poisonivory and genuinely I do reread them all, sometimes in order of publication if I'm in a particular mood. Maybe the one I've read most though is I've Got the Feeling You're the Right Thing After All which is about Roy and Jason starting a fwb thing while Roy still harbors old feelings for Dick. Can't see anything going wrong here lmao

Mmm this post is long enough so I'll leave it at just superhero fic for now but I do in fact have the ability to do a whole post just for the Witcher or Leverage so I might do that. Anyway thanks for following me on yet another burst of insanity it will happen again

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athenaluciscaelum · 2 months

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Romantically involved with Dante throughout various installments in the franchise.

Let's start this account with my first writing, what it will be like to get romantically involved with each Dante in the Devil May Cry franchise.

Disclaimer:

This is my first attempt at writing anything to be open for public scrutiny, so be kind, I do not intend to take any scrutiny for task I'm doing out of my passion, and I am not getting paid for anyway. A constructive criticism in right tone can be welcome. But anything unkind or disrespectful or homophobic or any hate shall be deleted. I do not entertain such things and I do not mind simply deleting them. This being said I will try my best to put trigger warning rightfully in every post but if sometimes, I miss something. You can let me know and educate me on topic respectfully and I will add it promptly.

Note:

I know there is a big debate on whether Dante is virgin or not. I do not believe he is. I just think he is very responsible and that's why didn't have 'an accident' like Vergil. This being said I think he will be more sexually active in some installment of the franchise than the other.

Also, Dante in any age or game will be reluctant and will stop himself from getting romantically involved with anyone. Dabte is smart, humane, and empathetic though he shows otherwise, he knows that one has to always pay the price if they love a Sparda/s. He knows his father was the strongest yet he cannot save one he loved the most. This made one thing certain for Dante, no amount of power guarantees that those who you love will be safe if you are the strongest. Just one slip up is enough to loose all you hold dear. Be it strongest creature to walk the universe or weakest. That being said, Dante will always try to distance himself from one he falls for because he knows this will only make them target or might end tragically. His love will be keeping them safe by distancing themselves. But if one with strong will comes by, I think he will always have this fear but will cave in eventually. This man has lots of hurt, trear my baby nice and he will melt. He got good heart.

Let's rock!

Devil May Cry 3 Manga Dante:

Dante in manga is somewhere around 18-19, though Capcom never age us an age to work with. In manga, he is in his teen. He comes out to be rather rash, out spoken and more rougher around the edges when going against something unknown like his encounter with Alice. We see Dante being a known one in the strip club when he visits Love Planet to get Enzo. And stripper's comment on how he is well ahem endowed.

But I think his inexperience might work in favour to get him off-guard. He might act cocky and like those teenage boys who acts like girls are so common and easily swayed by them. But when he feels the love, oh my, he will be nervous mess. He will not know how to react and will spew something stupid trying to act cool.

DMC 3 Dante:

It's just one year afterwards, in the beginning, he will be very similar to DMC manga Dante. But by the end of the game, he will have lots of scar and will be at his lowest. The pain of losing Vergil and new found respect for his father and the Sparda name. Dante will be more driven with his mission to avenge his mother and some redemption for losing Vergil, if any is possible.

If there is one thing about Dante. He blames himself for everything a lot! He blames himself for all bad around him. So to romantically persuade Dante after the events of Devil May Cry 3 will be nearly impossible. As he doesn't think himself capable when he couldn't protect his brother. But maybe, it is also time when he might need you the most. He will try his best to drive you away, so be ready for lots of heartache and being a literal light in darkness for this man. He will be grateful once he gets out of it.

DMC 1 novel:

As he know it is not actually canon, only some part of it. But still entertains it. Dante actually asks certain Claire out on Dante and looks forward to it. He is certainly open to romantic prospect and it might be easier to approach him. He will may sure, he doesn't get his coat charred or boots dirty to turn out on the date peoper. He will certainly look forward to it.

Dante in novel might act as jerk but we see how much he cares taking care of Gru's two surviving daughter up until adulthood through bank accounts he opened to financially aid them regularly, reference to which we also get in DMC V via Morrison.

DMC1:

In the beginning, he will be chill and in his zone like always, keeping himself to his office and only ever coming out to go on a mission. He won't mind if you ask him on a date or try to get his attention.

When he comes back from the Mallet Island. He will be very similar to the end of Devil May Cry 3, as this time, he will not only lose Vergil, but forced to kill him unintentionally, not knowing he is still alive. He will certainly think anything that he touches turns into complete shit and will try his best to keep you as far as possible. Someone so precious and perfect (to him) should be kept away, so his ill fate might not ruin you as well. He feels like a failure and he will not let you turn into one more failure in list of things he cannot protect. You have to be protected. By being kept as far as away from him. Now it will be only you relentless endeavour to move him that will break his shell, but it will break off eventually.

DMC 1 anime:

Our Dante will be edge lord, we don't know him as, always in his shop, blaming himself for everything wrong in his life and everyone dead or compromised in his life. Every lil mistake is his fault, he doesn't voice it. But it shows after how he feels after Ernest calls him names as he leaves, or Dante blaming himself for what happened with Enzo's hand, though he had no option but to cut it off or Enzo would have died, during special radio episode (only aired in Japan).

I believe along with alcohol, in this timeline, Dante might or might not indulge sexually like ONS or even picking a stripper, just to dull pain, to feel something, when he deserves no love and care. But his lowest and vulnerability might make him drive everyone, but also leave him weak enough to at last open up, if you decide to help him through this hellish time.

DMC 2 Dante:

Well, Dante in his edge-lord emo phase continues. So there is no new development I think there is, then what it was like in DMC 1 ending and anime. He is still very much in pain, but his time in hell, might just give him time to reflect on how harsh he was on himself.

There won't be a chance for interactions anyway. But after he comes back, it will be an open opportunity after Dante saw hell for himself at last.

DMC Deadly Fortuna (Part I and II) and DMC 4 Dante:

Dante is very happy as soon as he know of a surviving kin, the very existence of Nero give him shred of hope and happiness in his life. He went to Fortuna asap to confirm it himself. Before knowing existsnce of Nero, Dante was somewhat healing, a very lil hint is in novel that Dante was thinking of having some sort of family for himself, but Nero existence made him happy and content enough. He has come to an acceptance with his demon and human self, not shunning one totally. He is more open to prospect of any happiness in his life. He is mature and wiser with his cocky self intenr that makes him Dante.

So if you try to hang around him he would be the friendliest, cheesiest and most ridiculously idiot he can be. This Dante will be best one you can ask for in terms of having the best laugh of your life and most adsurd date ideas.

(I see DMC4 Dante as such girl dad coded)

DMC 5 Dante:

As much as I will like to have different category for DMC 5 prequel novel (Before nightmare), I don't think it will be necessary. Romantically speaking, we see Dante turning down Matier offer to give Lucia one good memory, although he do not want to get her involved, or simply he doesn't feel the same for him. I think it is more of later. But however you will like to see him.

But DMC 5 Dante is more aware of himself, he still has that self sabotaging tendencies with how he lives in literal poverty as said in novel, but he gets better as soon as he finds Vergil. Though intial idea of killing him never sits right with him, bit letting Nero feel same pain. It makes him move to be his shield, Dante is always one to protect those he loves, even if it on cost of himself.

If you are romantically involved with DMC V Dante, be assured he will be on Vergil's head all the time, to just rush back to human world and knock some sense in him in doing so.

I know I have missed a lot, but I'm eager to write something for first time, so this Frankenstein note it is. Be kind.

#dante x reader #dante devil may cry #dante sparda #dmc dante #devil may cry #dante

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