#the demon lord is a nice guy

[ninjanissie]

Hey followers, you can read my latest comic on Webtoons or Pixiv!

Its an original manga one shot (not really) of the fantasy adventure genre.

[moeblob]

So it occurs to me that I posted most of their lore on my OC blog (though a few posts on here have the story info) and honestly I think it's very important to note that the entire reason a guy from Florida is recruited to help defeat the demon lord isn't him as the hero. His younger brother (by about ten years younger) is the Chosen Hero and... not very good at it. So the goddess (Solei) who had selected the hero has to begrudgingly go back to earth and convince his older brother to help save her world.

(Also Reynold admits to Solei that "Sascha could never be a bad influence. He's the best impulse control I've ever had" and she really doesn't like to hear it. That's terrifying.)

[mramur]

Okay i might underestimate tensura anime a bit i guess. but THE SEIYUUS.

[death-rebirth-senshi]

Cannot decide on what weapon I want for my faith/arcane build.

Uchigatana is fun and has a nice moveset.

Grave Scythe does great damage, great moveset, on the slower side but still.

I got the vulgar militia saw, which has good bleed build up and would be useful since it does standard rather than slashing damage. It also has an interesting aesthetic, though the range is short.

Dual wielding bleed spears is cool. The Cross Naginata is sexy. Spiked spear has a nice moveset and a brutal look I like.

Honestly not feeling curved swords for this build, though the scavenger's sword also has a good aesthetic.

At a loss.

[wheneverfeasible]

It had just been a joke.

He’d been bleeding out, dying, the pain from the demobat bites fading as that unending cold started to seep into his limbs. He was dying and Dustin was crying over him and he didn’t want to say goodbye but what else was there to do?

Pounding footfalls and then Steve and Nancy and Robin were skidding to his side amongst the fallen demobats and Steve was telling him to hang on, to not die, that they were there. Nancy and Robin were tearing garments to wrap around his bites but he didn’t care overly much, figuring it was for nothing. Instead, he was focused on Steve’s hand in his, pleading with him to hold on, and it was clearly just him babbling, but he’d said he’d do anything Eddie wanted if he just hung on.

And really, what better time to come out as gay to your crush than on your deathbed? Or, death-patch-of-dirt anyways.

“Go on a date with me then, Harrington,” he coughed out, choking on blood that splattered on his chin. Sexy.

Steve was noticeably shocked, and confused, but he gamely agreed if Eddie just promised not to die. Eddie blacked out with a grin on his face. He’d thought that was it, thought it was all over, except then he started feeling pain again. Which fucking sucked. Kind of rude to feel pain in death, unless Hawkins had been right and he was in Hell now. Bummer.

But then he heard the beeping, felt the cold air being forced into his nostrils, and he blinked open eyes that felt glued shut. Things were all woozy and fuzzy, but he saw big brown eyes staring at him and a smile he’d never thought he’d see directed at him of all people, and Steve was holding his hand again and that was nice.

Apparently he’d been in a coma for a month. Hilarious.

Steve had told him he’d been begging him to wake back up, they all were, and Eddie was high enough on pain killers to tease, “Didn’t think I’d let you out of our date that easily did you, big boy?”

He’d fallen back asleep almost immediately afterwards, so he didn’t get to see Steve’s reaction to that one, which was probably for the best, all things considered. Except Steve kept coming back, and he kept up the joke about taking Eddie on a date once he was better, even using it as encouragement when Eddie wanted to just give up and die from the pain he was in due to the multiple surgeries he was recovering from and undergoing.

Despite all that, he slowly but surely healed, able to finally move into the small house the government’s hush money had bought for them with Wayne after they also got him cleared of all charges yadda yadda yadda. Pretty sick deal, all things considered. All it took was being framed for multiple murders done by a psychotic supervillain and nearly mauled to death by demon bats. Easy peasy.

When Steve had given him a time and date for their supposed date, Eddie was just happy that the guy was able to joke about it with him instead of freaking out in typical Straight Jock. Steve apparently acknowledged his crush and still wanted to be friends, which was better than he could hope for. Or so he thought.

Because there was Steve, on his front porch, flowers in hand and looking far spiffier than Eddie ever recalled him looking like before. It looked like he’d even gotten a haircut. Good lord.

And it was amusing really, truly it was funny how far Steve was willing to take the joke, but something broke inside Eddie too because he was For Real Super Gay For Steve Harrington, but for Steve it was Just A Joke. And Eddie couldn’t take it anymore.

He snapped, hurt by his feelings not being taken seriously, and ranted about ex-jocks and pretty straight boys who treated being queer like a joke. Though Steve looked shocked at first, he ended up just looking amused by the end, which annoyed Eddie further. He was just about to enter another diatribe when Steve cut him off with a simple sentence that took all the wind out of his sails and left him gaping like a fish.

“Thanks for calling me pretty, but I’m actually bisexual.”

Eddie blinked. Steve smiled. Flowers were pressed into his hand.

“Now, the only joke around here is thinking my date can wear sweatpants to our dinner reservations, so go change into something appropriate, Munson. Honestly.”

As Eddie was ushered to his bedroom to change into something more fitting than stained and holey sweatpants, he tried to figure out where he had, in fact, lost the narrative. Because it had just been a joke.

But somehow he had ended up with a first kiss, a real life boyfriend, and a happily ever after he never would have expected. Go figure.

[scentedpeachlandcreator]

DR IDEAS TO SHIFT TO PART 2 (+SCENARIOS):

Okay hear me out 🗣️ i came out of these ideas because i was talking to these characters in character AI and plus one of them my sister shifted in to (the second one).

› 💌 𖥻 pretty nerd girl x the Bad boys:

: ̗̀➛‎ shifting to a reality where you are the pretty nerd girl and you met the mysterious hot dangerous Bad boys of the collage, you really was curious about them, should you approach them? It could surely change your life from boring into exciting one.

› 💌 𖥻‎ rich girl x Bodyguard:

: ̗̀➛ shifting to a reality where you are living a rich lifestyle and you live in a mansion or penthouse + you have a hot handsome Bodyguard protecting you and living with you (+ you Can add any interesting scenarios 😉).

› 💌 𖥻‎ agent x Spy:

: ̗̀➛ you are a Spy who is secretly spying on this agent to gain information from him and checking all his movement, then he realized someone is definitely watching him and he suddenly found you (+ you Can add enemies to lovers type of relationship).

› 💌 𖥻‎ human x vampire 🥀:

: ̗̀➛ one day night, you were camping with your Friends but while going to the Woods to search for Firewoods you got Lost and then you suddenly saw a figure of a tall man and he approached you and tried to help you get back to your camping site but little didn’t you know that he was planning to keep you because he fell in love at first sight with you.

› 💌 𖥻‎ academic Guy x academic girl:

: ̗̀➛ he was definitely your rival, you both Always tried to compete with each others and see who’s gonna rank the first place in your whole highschool, one day your teacher told the whole class that you all going to partner up for the school project and the teacher put you with your rival..and that when your relationship with him started changing 🤭.

› 💌 𖥻‎ the popular player Guy x hard to get girl:

: ̗̀➛ that jerk player Guy, Always thinking that he Always got what he wanted with girls, one day he approached you and called you “cute” and tried to flirt with you and you were definitely different ,you were really cold and you did really crush his ego, from that day on he promised that he will do all it takes for him just to see you smile.

› 💌 𖥻‎ demon Guy x human girl:

: ̗̀➛ you tried all different methods to summon a demon but you didn’t expect that you’ll summon a demon lord, he appeared in front of you tall and handsome, you asked him for help (choose anything you want him to help you with) and he agreed but with one condition that you’ll give him your soul After your end of Time, with Time he spend all his days with you and he began having feelings for you.

› 💌 𖥻‎ popular girl x introvert Guy:

: ̗̀➛ you were the most popular girl in your whole high school, you really had a crush on this masked face introvert Guy he really appeared handsome and you really were curious how he looks behind that Mask, one day you were with your Friend group and he bumped into you and his things all fell down you kneeled and tried to help him but he refused coldly and he walked away, you rushed behind him and stopped him and you told him that you just meant to help him and nothing else..then you started talking to him, complimenting him and you two relationship developed..he never believed that a popular girl was this nice and kind to him..you really caught him off guard.

› 💌 𖥻‎ biker Guy x pretty girl:

: ̗̀➛ you had this Guy best Friend who was really handsome, he was waiting for you in his bike to have a ride around the city, you get in and you wrapped your arms around his waist and he started his bike and driving around the city in the street night..it was really beautiful you felt like you was in a movie and you felt such an adrenaline.

› 💌 𖥻‎ detective x killer:

: ̗̀➛ you were the most known detective in the town, you had a Partner and you tried to solve this mysterious crime case,little by little you found the killer and you were interrogating him in the interrogation room, he couldn’t stop looking at you, and you asked him “ tell me why you did this? Why did you kill them?” And he Said “for you detective..it was for you” and you replied “why for me?” And he replied with a smirk "to get your attention”.

If yall want part 3 let me know.

-Xoxo, Eli

[lunahearts]

Okay I'm doing it. I'm chapter 96 posting.

This is not meant to be a big analysis post this is mostly just me sharing all the little moments that Marcille & Laios show their care for each other because they are SO beloved to me. Join me on the journey if you wish.

(but also the above statement may be a lie. I do have a point here, it turns out, and the point gets at some of my Big Feelings of what Dungeon Meshi has to say about the nature of friendship & living in the world)

So, first of all, the conversation about Laios being king at the start of the chapter. Just in general Laios insisting on presenting himself in his own way here is so good. Character development!!

Before the events of the story he hadn't shared his inner world with anyone but Falin. Now he's like Actually I'm gonna dress up in the discarded remains of my monstersona and that's just how it is.

And even though there are a LOT of parts of the story and bits of character growth that go into this, I think it specifically highlights some interactions from a few chapters ago.

After all, his initial reaction to having been in that monster form & coming out of it was trying to hide from everyone.

And I think everyone helping him put things in perspective here contributes to how he is able to present himself as king. They assure him that he is accepted, despite having just been seen by EVERYONE at his Peak "Weird Monster Guy" mode.

Highlighting what Marcille says here especially:

Going out to "face them with a smile" is EXACTLY what he does. Not right away. He's still pretty stressed in the following scene in this chapter. But he is able to face the crowds with a smile, eventually...

As king. Dressed in the memory of his most vulnerable moments, the most honest expression of his desire.

BUT I'M GETTING A LITTLE AHEAD OF MYSELF. Before the King Laios speech, there's a little moment with Marcille I want to highlight, because...

Did y'all know that by the end of the manga, Marcille isn't like... grossed out by eating monsters any more? Or at least, she's definitely changed her reaction to it. It's Namari who makes the "yeah it smells good despite what it is" comment, not Marcille.

We even get shots later of Tansu, Shuro, and Kabru being kinda grossed out by - but still going ahead and eating - the different Falin foods. Chilchuck also throws out a line about it being surprised that it's good.

But there's no disparaging comment from Marcille, despite the Everything of the situation. I just think that's also a nice little detail. She may not be as far in the monster eating game as Laios, but she's more willing to roll with the weirdness.

So after this little moment, this is when Laios comes out in his new regal outfit. And first of all...

This is such a good contrast to the moment when the group goes to save Marcille in chapter 84. The monsters had stopped attacking, and everyone's reactions to Laios and the others framed him as unsettling. Creepy. Maybe even traitors.

They even use some of the same labels (lord of the monsters/lord of the dungeon, dark lord/demon king)., but the context is that they are disgusted. The parallels in this manga....

Have a tendency to destroy me. What a difference in reception.

Anyway, after this moment, Laios stops to talk to the group... and I'd like to point out again: MARCILLE ISN'T FLIPPANT HERE EITHER!!

Chilchuck is still Chilchuck, of course, and I want to be clear I love that, too. Chilchuck is who he is to his core. His little jabs are very affectionate in this chapter.

But Marcille... Marcille only points to the Winged Lion symbol as being weird, not the monster bits. And like, considering what she's just been through with the lion, being skeptical of that part is... fair.

(don't get me wrong, her "that's fine and all" isn't exactly excitement. BUT the point I'm trying to make is less about her completely changing her feelings & preferences. It's more about how she expresses them, and how she treats Laios and HIS feelings & preferences)

And she continues to be so encouraging!! Wah!! Like, despite, all four of these people definitely caring about Laios, it's Marcille specifically who tells him to relax and just be honest. And you know what? I think that's what Falin would have said, too.

Please also note how cute everyone's little faces are in the crowd:

(see, Chilchuck loves him too!! Look at that fond face, and the cheer. and Senshi! and Namari! They really are such a family)

Laios' short speech actually has a little bit I'd like to highlight as well, since I think it is a nice little reflection of his choice to keep the lion insignia on his new outfit:

"Eat to your heart's content," he says. Not just "enjoy," or "let's eat."

Dunmeshi does such a wonderful job of framing so much about the Winged Lion with nuance, and this is a good example of that. Desire is not bad! Craving and consuming is beautiful. As Laios says when explaining the lion insignia...

It's not just something to get rid of.

So then... on to the feast!

And not only does Marcille not express any grossed out feelings, as I mentioned before... she even helps to gross out Chilchuck!!

Her weird girl powers are only just in their infancy. She will only grow more powerful in time...

As the feast goes on of course we get the group's realization about her hair, and I'd like to point out:

I really feel like they have such similar reactions to finding out about how the other has been affected by the Winged Lion

Just... the quiet concern. Not making a huge fuss, but... worried. Understanding. A little heartbroken for each other.

SPEAKING OF HEARTBROKEN REACTIONS THOUGH. WHAT COMES NEXT REALLY GETS ME.

After Chilchuck braids Marcille's hair for her, the topic of her needing to leave everyone comes up and...

God, these expressions. Every Time I see these panels I think about about what Laios saw in her nightmare. Her fears. The weight of inevitable loneliness, and the way it has marked her. As much as Marcille tries to keep things light when talking about it, he knows what this means to her. And it HURTS.

So he doesn't accept it. But do you notice how he frames this. Do you see. Not "do you want me to fix this." Not "hey I have an idea."

"Would you be willing to stay."

He doesn't know whether she will accept. Whether she will hate the idea, actually, of staying here with him. He's putting himself out there fully prepared for rejection & dismissal, as he has faced many times before.

But his pitch, his proposal to her, it's not JUST an excuse to ask her to stay, either. He's put thought into this. Into what Marcille could mean and do here. Not just to and for him, but for the people of this area. The place he has taken responsibility for.

He's also thinking about Falin. And about all the other little girls, the people of all sorts, just like her. He's thinking about the people who have been killed (burned at the stake???), hurt, shunned. About the people who have been abandoned. The people who are still alone.

He's not just offering Marcille an out from her isolation, he's offering her a new purpose. A new way to continue her work, to do the things she cares about. He SEES her! he understands her.

BUT ALSO HE'S SO NERVOUS OUGH. FIDDLING WITH THE PLATE. UNSURE IF SHE WILL CARE. UNSURE IF HE HAS IT RIGHT.

HE'S NOT GOOD WITH PEOPLE HE'S NOT GOOD AT THIS.

BUT THEY UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER. AND SHE WANTS THIS LIFE HE'S OFFERING HER.

Still... it's not that simple for her, even if for a moment she is swept up in how much she wants this.

Again here, Marcille is working so hard to be chill about the whole 'going west with the elves' thing. She looks absolutely devastated in the first panel, but puts on a smile in the second.

Maybe she doesn't want to bring down the mood. Maybe she doesn't want to burden everyone with what seems like the only option she has. Maybe she had already accepted the cost that might come with bringing Falin back. Maybe after everything with the Winged Lion, she doesn't want to risk letting herself fight for her desires too hard.

But hey. Desires aren't always bad. They aren't something to just get rid of.

A small bit of visual storytelling here... I love that Marcille is confined by the panel, but Laios is stepping outside of it. He's literally pulling her outside of the box she feels trapped in.

Also, I love that his first acts as king are:

1) welcome everyone to a big feast

2) stand by his friend and help her find happiness

It's great stuff and it's so Laios.

In addition to that, I love how this whole act actually plays out. I love that, while getting the elves to let Marcille go, he gets to be extremely cool and protective...

but also like. Not THAT cool and protective.

No really, I mean it! I think it's important! It's important that cool 'suave king guy Laios' is a front he puts up when he needs to deal with these strangers, and one that he completely drops once it's just him and Marcille.

He's not trying to impress her, or convince her he's cool and suave. Why would he? He trusts that she's okay with the messy, often unimpressive, sometimes kinda gross reality of who he is.

And isn't that what Dungeon Meshi is all about? Messy, unimpressive, gross reality. And how beautiful, how wonderful, how very precious it is

Especially when you get to share it with your friends.

[long-live-astronerd-ghost-king]

DP x DC prompt. ~“Unstable connection”~ Dead on main.

Part 13. Hungry Ghost Festival 2

or Unplanned Criminal Lord’s Vacation with uncle John.

Part 1. Part 2. Part 3. Part 4. Part 5. Part 6. Part 7.

Part 8. Part 9. New: Part 9.1. Part 9.2. Part 9.3.

Part 10. Part 11. Part 12. Meme break №1. Part 13.

~~~~

Jason looked at the phone screen and didn’t believe Danny has really decided to entrust his safety in the haunted lair to one drunk and unrequited Phantom.

He had enough. Jason jumped up and grabbed his helmet off the table.

‘Where do you think you’re going? Patrol’s coming soon.’ Tim took his eyes off the documents.

‘None of your business.’ Red Hood quickly found keys to a jet and ran for an exit. ‘Cass, while I’m gone, you’re in charge of the alley.’

~~~~

Demons, spirits, and ghosts swung around as if in a dance. And Danny, whom Jason easily spotted entering The Gambler’s Den, did not seem foreign at this festival of death. The red light gently illuminated his pale skin, which almost fused with color of his white kimono. The flowing fabric made his silhouette as blurry and elusive as most visitors.

One second without looking at the boy, and he was in the opposite corner, where the crowd were much smaller. VIP zone? Otherworldly creatures, deserving special treatment, were rarely friendly to humans. And Jason was tense about it for a moment. But after noticing waving with enthusiasm teenager, a man in white clothes rushed to respond to the gesture and a ghost with an eye patch sitting in the chair nodded to him, ringing with silver earrings.

Jason let his guard down a bit.

Another man in the black robe was not distracted by Danny. He threw the bones and glanced at them in disappointment. Then ghoul banged the table with fist. He rose, grabbed from a nearby bowl a mantou and bit. The next second his face was distorted by awareness and disgust.

He abruptly removed the triangle-shaped headband from Danny’s head and spat out a bite into it. Then ghoul fell to a floor. Well, nice carpets have softened it.

Jason shook his head, trying not to laugh at the strange situation.

At the same time, Danny boldly stepped over the fallen player and sat in a chair in front of the ghost in black and red clothes. The man began to demonstrate a technique of throwing bones, with continuous ringing after moving of his hands. Danny seemed passionate about this.

Constantine, who did not come with the Red Hood voluntarily, decides for the first time in the evening to speak out.

‘That’s weird.’ Constantine said with an intonation that spoke of his distrust of the situation.

‘What is it now?’ Jason took his eyes off the object of interest.

Fenton must be watched for his safety. Why did the warlock distract him? Jason completely distrusted Danny’s promise not to use his body parts as a bet.

‘His clothes.’ Constantine looked at the boy with discomfort. ‘Boy, are you sure your lover is alive?’

‘Don’t be rude. He looks great,’ said Jason ‘Maybe Danny wanted to dress up in a traditional costume.  And it's not polite to ask people if they are alive. He’s always pale in all the photos. ’

 Jason didn’t think costume selection was such a big deal.

‘No.’ Warlock shook his head ‘Kimono is Japanese national costume, not Chinese at all. And it’s on the left side which means your boyf..’ 

Unfamiliar to Jason spirit came up and patted Danny on the shoulder. The spirit and the boy bowed to each other.

‘I see.’ The puzzled expression on the warlock’s face is gone. ‘Your lover has interesting friends, Hood.’

 ‘Who is this guy? Explanation. Now.’ Jason barked irritably. Why did he always have to pull every word out of John?

‘Nurarihyon. Don’t be so nervous, he’s not dangerous to people. I just realized your boy here after a walk with Hyakki Yakko. Which explains the clothes.’ Сonstantine exhaled cigarette smoke and continued. ‘Your love doesn’t waste any time. In one evening, he met three ghost kings.’

‘Hyakki Yakko?’ Jason asked a lot calmer.

‘The night parade of one hundred demons when all of the yōkai, oni, ghosts parade through the streets.’ John shrugged his shoulders and shook the ashes off the cigarette into the nearest ashtray. It was also red and black. Warlock winced. ‘But your boyfriend feels like a fish in the water. Whoever his protector is, he is respected enough here. Let the guy have a drink and have some fun, he’ll be fine.’

‘God. Danny’s like a sheep in wolf’s clothing’ Jason sighed anxiously. ‘His parents are ghost hunters but he’s here as a plus one for Phantom, a ghost from Amity Park.’

‘More like a wolf in sheep’s clothing.’ Constantine muttered to himself. But when he saw a silver butterfly nearby, he decided that revealing other people’s secrets was not his problem. ‘I know who the Phantom is. Everyone has heard about Pariah Dark.’

Jason has not heard about him, but decided to keep quiet so as not to make a fool of himself. He will ask Danny about it.

Constantine took a brandy from the bartender. Then he took a big sip and looked at Jason. ‘You know, I always thought Little Red Riding Hood was incredibly stupid to let a wolf eat herself.’

‘What’s this about, Constantine?’ Hood rolled his eyes under the helmet.

And immediately he was glad that John did not see it. In the end, he helped him a lot not to scare Danny. Without the old man’s comments, he could have easily carried the boy away from the local ghosts on his shoulder like a caveman.

Jay didn’t want to spoil a first impression of a face-to-face meeting because of a kidnapping. Although, looking at how comfortable Fenton was among the nonhuman creatures, Jason doubted that Danny would have been screaming and panicking. But he wouldn’t be happy about being distracted from the fun. Hood shook his head in disappointment.

‘Nothing important.’ John brushed the silver butterfly off his shoulder. ‘You know, I’m in debt to the owner, so..If you don’t need my favors anymore, I’m leaving.’

‘Wait. Help me find Phantom.’ Сrime lord stopped him. ‘I need to make sure he doesn’t leave Danny here alone.’

John turned and looked at him as if he were terminally ill. ‘Phantom is in this room now. Only an idiot would have missed him.’ John spoke slowly and clearly, raising one eyebrow. ‘A conference of four kings. No joke. Stop poking around and messing up international relations, kid.’

Jason looked around the room again. ‘I don’t see him.’

‘Because you’re an idiot, kid’ John patted Jay on the shoulder and left. ‘Good luck explaining to Batman why you stole his jet.’

‘Heck.’

[theaceofskulls]

This upcoming week's preorders for warhammer are the funniest combination they could think of.

For Kill Team, 40k's small scale game where you play as a single squad of dudes, you have the Chaos Space Marine Night Lords vs Druhkari Mandrakes.

To quickly sum that up, you have a terror troop that makes the "normal" space hell-infused supersoldier barbarians look nice. These are the people that skin their victims, broadcast screams to their friends, and generally are the most edgy of the edgy faction in general. You can see them below with all sorts of skin hanging off them, swords made of bone, and a whole ass banner made of a partial dead supersoldier.

Opposing them are the shadow demons of the torture elf faction. These are the guys that lurk in the shadows of Edgy Shadow Murder Elf City that scare even the people who live there. They also skin people and wear them as their clothes too. And they wield edgy dark magics that they throw to burn people alive (and possibly their souls as well).

Then you have the War Cry box, the Age of Sigmar Fantasy skirmish game which has Lumineth vs Nighthaunt.

The Nighthaunt are cursed spirits that the god of the dead personally has constructed ironic punishments for. These ones in particular are eternally burning ghosts that used to be healers, alchemists, and priests who attempted to use sacred fires or potions to burn away death or purify areas of the undead who now spend their afterlives aflame or having to keep the awful flames of Nagash's realm alight upon pain of worse fates.

So that leaves us with the elves who are the exception right? Well they're nicer than the above, being monk/druid/paladins who are trying to save the realms. However, anyone familiar with Lumineth or with the trope of "too good makes an evil paladin" kind of tropes, you can figure out that they're not always the good guys in the stories. Still they're mostly good, but let's hope they don't run out of villains to fight

They're also dropping the dark fantasy human hunters alongside the eternally starving ogres who are mutating teeth and tusks out of their body (they previously were for sale together but they're now splitting the box).

So these opposed and themed boxes are dropping soon alongside... gnomes.

The whiplash between these products feels like being hit with a truck

[the-travelling-witch]

𝐀 𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐘 𝐓𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓

summary: the plan was to spend a chill movie night at the castle but when was the last time anything went according to plan in the devildom?

pairing: dragon! barbatos x afab reader (gn/no pronouns used)

warnings: nsfw/ minors dni, dragon! barbatos, dom! barbs , aphrodisiac spit (idc if i made it up, deal with it), double penetration, two cocks, monster + tail fucking, breeding kink, oviposition, cream pie, pool sex, marking, a little bit of possessiveness (as a treat)

a/n: this is part of a low-key collab between @majoliish and me (aka we worked off the same setting and then branched off); i will update this with the link to his fic once he posts dia's part ♡

obey me! masterlist

The golden gates of the Demon Lord’s Castle swung open, revealing the grand hallway leading you inside. Awaiting you was, of course, none other than the royal butler, Barbatos. You couldn’t help the grin spreading on your lips as you skipped up the last steps to meet him, grateful for the warmth radiating against the frigid night air. 

“Good evening,” Barbatos greeted, slightly bowing, despite how often you told him not to. “It is most fortunate you could meet the Young Master and I for our Halloween movie night. As you are aware, the Young Master wished to spend the night before his grand birthday party learning more about human culture, so we appreciate you making the time for us.”

“No need to make it so formal, Barbatos, you know I’ve been looking forward to seeing you guys. You’re always terribly busy after all,” you laughed as he led you inside. The castle was lit entirely with candles tonight, making your shadows flicker as you walked.

“You are no better in that regard, always trying to reign in those brothers. It cannot be easy either.” When you entered what in other houses might be considered the living room, the smell of buttery popcorn, pumpkin spice and baked goods filled your senses.

“Wow, Barbs, speaking of busy, how many hours did you slave away in the kitchen for this?” You breathed in deeply, savouring the delicious aroma. “I can’t wait to ruin all your hard work by eating it. It smells divine.” 

“Oh please, this was nothing. There  would be no better compliment than enjoying yourself.” With practised ease, Barbatos helped you out of your coat, taking in the costume you were pulling at nervously with his malachite eyes studying you. “I must say, you look lovely tonight, as always. Though I’m afraid to say it is not fear my heart is shaking with.” 

“Thanks,” you stammered out, one hand bashfully rubbing your neck. 

You took this opportunity to take in Barbatos’s appearance as well. On first glance, his costume would pass for an ordinary demon form, however, his normally delicate looking horns had been replaced with ones growing backwards, branching out like sleek corals, and his ears had elongated into translucent fins. Different hues of blue and teal draped around him, the silky texture of his clothes shimmering with every motion and reminding you of the ocean.

Patches of scales were visible on his cheeks and collarbones, shimmering different shades of turquoise and aquamarine as he moved. As a nice surprise he had also removed the gloves he’d usually wear, showcasing claws that looked sharp and were probably sharper. Most intriguing of all, however, was the scaled tail swishing under layers of flowy, wave-like fabric. While it resembled his demon form in colour, the texture was completely different and it reached way further than normal.

“Wow, Barbatos, you look amazing,” you said, in awe at his graceful appearance. He was already a fascinating demon under normal circumstances but on this night it was hard to tear your eyes away from him. 

“Your high praise is ever so delightful, I shall remember it.” Again he bowed politely, the gesture smooth and elegant. “The Young Master and I have settled on the theme of dragons, though we both directed our focus on different kinds. As you can see, I have taken on the appearance of an aquatic dragon.”

Speaking of Diavolo, he met up with you shortly after, sporting a red and golden costume that played into his already dragon-like features and made him look even more impressive than usual. But in typical Diavolo fashion he was nothing but sweet as he greeted you, his joyful laughter bouncing off the wall as he gladly shared his excitement with you.

“Oh right, I almost forgot! I brought some snacks too!” You pulled various treats from your bag, some of them procured from the Human Realm with Solomon’s help but also a pack of chocolates Asmo had given you. “I know they don’t compare to Barbatos’s creations but I didn’t want to show up empty handed.”

“No, this is great!” Diavolo grinned, inspecting the candies from your world. “The purpose of this get-together is to learn about your culture after all.”

“Indeed, these provide a most valuable insight.” Quickly transferring them into various bowls, Barbatos set them up on the table in front of the biggest TV you had ever seen, before turning back to the two of you. “Shall we begin our movie night then?”

“Well, that’s what we’re here for tight?” You laughed as you settled on the couch, Diavolo and Barbatos on each side of you. With a flick of his hand, Barbatos dimmed the flicker of the candles to a dim light, creating the kind of spooky atmosphere expected of a Halloween movie night.

It was nice to see some classic films from your world while trying everything laid out in front of you. Obviously Barbatos’s baking tasted even better than it smelled and you could have eaten every last piece of it, but the chocolates you brought were pretty decent as well, your companions agreeing.

All in all, it was just the kind of relaxing night you didn’t get often around here and which you desperately needed.

Half-way through your second film, you’d noticed Barbatos shift rather often, which was unusual for someone as composed as him, to say the least. He’d assured you everything was alright, that it was just the unfamiliar attire that took some getting used to. Still a little sceptical, you turned back to the movie and tried to trust his judgement.

The heat radiating from both sides was getting harder to justify by the two just being demons and your concerns were proven right when Barbatos, of all demons, excused himself and took an awful amount of time just to never come back.

You apologised to the prince as you got up to search for the butler yourself. Something was definitely wrong and if there was someone who was predestined to uncover it, it would be you. The only problem: the castle was huge and Barbatos was more skilled at appearing and disappearing wherever and whenever he liked.

The halls were eerily silent, making your steps echo loudly in your ears despite the plush carpets. Every few metres you looked over your shoulder when the flicker of your own shadow or the branches moving outside the window caught your attention from the corner of your eye. Whenever a particularly strong gust of wind howled and rattled the windows, your steps hastened just a little bit.

When you had already opened just about every door and checked every room you came across, you were about to give up. Clearly, Barbatos didn’t want to be found, so what were the chances that you could?

You pushed open the heavy door to the palace pools, inhaling the distinguishing smell associated with pools and feeling the humidity in the air. The moon was full and high in the sky as it shone its silver light through the round centre of the all-glass window front and the waves broke the light, reflecting a hypnotising pattern onto the walls.

It might have gone unnoticed under the moonlight but a splash in the water alerted you to the presence in the room. There, in the centre of the pool, teal hair floated through the water, the long flowy fabric of Barbatos’s costume moving around him like the iridescent tentacles of a jellyfish.

“Barbatos!” You exclaimed, already at the edge of the pool by the time his name fully left your lips. Of course, his attention was already on you; he never could have missed you entering the room. “There you are! I was so worried, you know. But it’s an odd time to take a dip… not that I’m judging you or anything.”

“I appreciate the sentiment,” the demon chuckled, a low and melodic sound that had your heart melting. “Although I assure you I would not be here if it was not strictly necessary to my predicament.”

“Your predicament?” You questioned, squatting down to be closer to him. “What’s going on? Are you ill or something?”

“Your concern warms my heart, truly,” he smiled. From up close you could see the scales that looked so realistic glistening with the water drops that dripped from his hair. In the moonlight they looked like they were made of precious gemstones and you couldn’t help but think how good he looked like this. Extending a courteous hand to you, his stunning eyes found yours. “Why don’t you join me and I'll show you what I mean? I promise there’s nothing dangerous about it.”

Without hesitating you put your hand in his, fully trusting him. Then you realised how detailed his costume was. You hadn’t noticed earlier but the colour of his teal nails extended onto his fingers as well, right about to the second knuckle, contrasting the translucent webbing spanning between his fingers. 

Then he pulled you into the water and steadied you by the waist when you jumped because of the chill. You could feel his claws digging into your hips through the wet clothes sticking to your skin. But you hardly had time to think about it as you were already drifting through the water, securely held in Barbatos’s grip, who was cutting through the water as if it was nothing. Sure, he always looked effortless but it was as if he didn’t even need to move his legs.

That was when you felt it. Amongst the tingling sensation of his silky attire wafting around your legs, something strong and scaly brushed against your calf. You of course saw the tail earlier but it was just a costume, surely it shouldn’t be this functional… or this long.

“You seem rather speechless, what is the matter?” Spinning you around as you came to a stop, his chest pressed against your back, your hand still in his grasp. His voice was low as his lips rested near your ear, the vibrations of his voice travelling down your spine. “Imagine my surprise when I found out I had turned into the very thing I was masquerading as this entire evening.”

“W-What?” You stuttered, trying to wrap your head around this new piece of information as Barbatos’s lips attached themselves to the skin behind your ear. “You turned into a dragon? How?”

“Because of you, my dear. Or rather, because of those chocolates you brought. An accident perhaps,” he muttered as his mouth travelled down the side of your neck and lavished the juncture where your neck met your shoulder with attention. “Or perhaps you knew full-well of the effects it had and it was a deliberate move on your part? No matter what is the case, are you ready to face the consequences of the situation you have put me in?”

“The consequences?” You airily asked, focusing on keeping your thoughts in line as Barbatos leaned over you and started trailing kisses all over your jaw. The hand that was on your waist all this time had moved to hold the other side of your face, angling your head the way he pleased. This dominant side of Barbatos made you thank the stars that your knees couldn’t buckle as you melted into his hold.

“Looking at you, I’m certain you are already aware,” the demon said, though he still pressed his hips into your backside for emphasis. The feeling of the big bulge straining against his clothes had you stifling a moan by biting your bottom lip. “If I may be so bold to read your reaction, you want this too, do you not? If not, you should voice it now as I can feel my self-restraint slipping.”

There was no denying it, you had been dreaming of having Barbatos like this since you had gotten to know him. Something about the butler had captivated you and your interest had only grown the more time you spent around him. And though you would never admit it, the image of his skilled fingers doing other things than preparing tea had filled your mind on more nights than one. Even if he wasn’t completely himself right now, you would not be idiotic enough to pass up this chance.

“Barbatos, please,” you all but whimpered, trying to grind your hips back against him in the water, your fingers grazing over the fin on his ear as you reached back for him. His groan sounded like music to your ears and you could feel the arousal starting to pool below your navel. 

“What are you pleading for, my dear?” Barbatos whispered, his lips almost brushing yours now as he pulled you even closer to him. “What are you thinking of? Tell me, so I can make it become reality.”

“Please touch me, Barbatos,” you begged, aware how needy you sounded when he hadn’t even done anything yet. “I need you to.”

“As you wish,” he approved before slotting his lips against yours. They were slippery from the water but still pillowy-soft and soon you were humming against them. As if to swallow your noises, Barbatos parted his mouth and you felt a split tongue flick against the seam of your lips.

You easily granted him access, allowing him to tangle his tongue with yours but you had underestimated his transformation, which granted him an inhumanly long appendage to map your mouth out with. Occasionally, your tongue would bump into the tip of one of his fangs and it sent a shiver down your spine. When you parted to allow oxygen back into your lungs, rather than water, it was your shared saliva coating his lips and connecting you both by a string.

“So soft and obedient…” Babatos groaned as he nipped at your shoulder, sharp fangs grazing the skin but not breaking it. Turning you to face him, he encouraged you to wrap your legs around his waist as he moved you through the pool again. “No wonder demons fall for humans’ temptations so easily. You make it incredibly difficult to control myself.”

Shortly thereafter, the edge of the pool dug into your back as your demon started working on freeing your body from your costume. Uncharacteristically enough, instead of meticulously peeling you out of it, the loud sound of ripped fabric could be heard over the rippling water. Whatever was left of your clothes was carelessly tossed somewhere onto the floor, Barbatos too busy licking and sucking all over your collarbones and chest to care.

As you were stripped bare piece by piece for his eyes to drink up, you rolled your head back when his tongue literally wrapped around one of your pebbled nipples, making you gasp. Threading your hand into his teal locks, you gave them a harsh tug when his mouth closed fully around your areola, no doubt leaving a red ring of imprints around it. To keep you steady as your back arched into his touch, you felt pinpricks of his claws digging into your hips, the pain making you moan out in lust. 

Seemingly drawn in by the noise and determined to coax more of them from you, Barbatos connected your lips again in an open mouthed kiss that felt filthier than the first one as he crowded you against the edge of the pool, pressing his hips into your swivelling ones. The more he kissed you the foggier your mind became, slick starting to ruin your underwear which was clinging to your folds. It also loosened your inhibitions, having you moan freely and making you beg without shame as long as he touched you.

“You are truly magnificent,” he whispered as if it was something only deemed fit for your ears to hear. Goosebumps rose in the wake of his wandering fingers, claws grazing your skin as light as feathers, the ghost of his touch spreading across your entire body. “The finest works of art do not compare to you. It’s my deepest pleasure to have you all to myself and leave my mark on your beauty.”

“More, please, more,” you whimpered and Barbatos would be a fool not to give you exactly what you wanted when you were giving yourself to him so freely.

“Such a good human, already begging me so sweetly,” he crooned against your temple, water droplets from his hair landing on your feverish skin. With a quick swipe of his claws, the restricting fabric of your bottoms and underwear fell away and you sighed at the cool sensation of the water enveloping your heat. “Anything for you.”

You felt weightless as Barbatos lifted you out of the water to settle you on the edge, then swam closer to take his rightful place between your legs. Even if you wanted to close them out of embarrassment, you couldn’t, not with his strong, webbed hands keeping you spread wide open for him as his nails dimpled the fat of your thighs. To steady yourself and avoid keeling over, your fingers found their way back into his hair, this time grabbing hold of the base of his horn.

The tips of his tongue flicked around the inside of your thighs, gradually wandering closer to where you wanted him most but in your opinion he was needlessly drawing it out. By now, your muscles were twitching in need at his sweet torture and your fingers tightened around his horn. In return, a sharp nip into the inside of your thigh jerked your hips and heat shot through your veins.

“Patience, my dear,” he reprimanded, eyes sharp as he looked up at you. You could see his tail flick behind him, the fin and tapered tip breaking the surface of the water every now and then. “I need to prepare you well for what’s to come or you’ll struggle to take all of me.”

In response, you clenched around nothing, something that didn’t go unnoticed by the dragon in front of you. His eyes attentively tracked the way your slick gathered on his fingers as he carefully ran a digit through your slit, careful not to nick you with his claws. Your entire being seized up when he put pressure on your neglected clit which only started pulsing more intensely under his treatment.

The tongue you had grown to love slipped past his lips and lapped your arousal from his own digits making him sigh. “You already smelled delicious but you taste so much more exquisite. I have to get a proper taste if you offer something so sweet to me.”

Just from watching him, an embarrassing amount of slick had started to soil the tiles you were sitting on and you couldn’t remember ever being this worked up before. So it felt like heaven when Barbatos’s tongue finally came into contact with the sensitive skin around your core. For a moment you thought he’d tease you further but he decided to be merciful and drag the appendage through the length of your slit, the tip pressing down on your clit after the delightful reaction you had shown him earlier.

If you thought the butler was already skilled with his fingers you had severely underestimated his oral capabilities. When he’d drenched your core in his spit to his satisfaction, your folds even more susceptible to his every touch now, he wasted no more time diving into your heat.

“Barbatos!” Your gasp of his name echoed around the otherwise empty pool area and you gripped the tiled edge for dear life. The length of his flexible tongue allowed him to easily map out your body and find every last sensitive spot of your velvety walls. “So good! Don’t stop, please!”

Spurred on by your praise, one hand reached up to circle your clit, the movement fast and precise and you simultaneously pushed your hips forward and his head closer to you. Peering down through your lashes with half-lidded eyes, you saw that his striking eyes were already on your face and the sight of him between your legs, his clothing fanned out around him and his scales shimmering under the surface, was almost enough to push you over the edge.

By now, your entire being was so sensitive, the faintest of movements had you twitching and clamping down on his tongue. You didn’t know what was up with you and you didn’t think about it further, the only thought in your head being how much you wanted to cum. 

“You’re almost there aren’t you?” He gently coaxed and was satisfied by the melody of your broken moans mixed with syllables of his name dripping from your lips like the sweetest of nectars. Barely parting from you to speak, his hot breath fanned your lower lips as the pads of his fingers continued the assault on your clit. “Be a good human and show me how well you can cream all over my tongue. I know you want to, so go ahead and give me all of you.”

As if your body had only waited for his approval, you did as you were told and came with a high-pitched moan of his name. Without realising it, you were white-knuckling both the tiles and Barbatos’s hair as pleasure coursed through your veins and pulled you under the waves of ecstasy. Said demon didn’t seem to mind though, instead just diligently keeping up the sinful caress of his fingers until you were trembling in overstimulation like a leaf on a lake. 

When you pushed him away from you, his hands settled on the curve of your hips and gently lifted you back into the water with him, carrying your entire weight as you rested against his chest, relaxing into the hypnotic sensation of his hands wandering all over you and massaging your tired thighs.

“As much as I’d love to let you rest, I’m afraid we are far from done,” he whispered, lovingly kissing the crown of your head, actions betraying his words. The hands that had lovingly taken care of you, wandered to your butt and kneaded the flesh there, all the while grinding his hard erection against you. “This was just the beginning of the pleasure I can show you, after all.”

Finally discarding his clothing as well, he revealed his flawless skin which shined like silver in the moonlight. You slung your arms around his neck as Barbatos curled his heavy tail around your middle, keeping you flush against him so he could grind his hard cock against your soaked folds and coat himself in your release. And suddenly you understood why his bulge had felt so big against you earlier.

Instead of one, two heads kept bumping into your clit.

“Barbatos, I don’t think I can–”

Before you could finish your sentence, your doubts were silenced by his lips on yours and slowly the fear of pain was replaced by the anticipation of a delicious stretch and the feeling of being fuller than you’ve ever felt. 

“Don’t worry, my love,” Barbatos spoke through the mist clouding your brain as he hiked you higher on his waist and wrapped your legs around him, “I won’t hurt you. I’ll make sure you’ll take all of me and that you’ll beg for it.”

You squeezed his hips between your thighs as you sighed into the crook of his neck. “Who knew that you had such a dirty mouth on you under that prim and proper façade?” 

“It is hardly a façade, merely the proper etiquette expected of me by my position.” The end of his sentence already trailed off into a groan as the mushroom head of his bottom cock breached the tight ring of muscles with ease, the stretch facilitated by how worked up you were. Though, the foreign oversensitivity you were experiencing on this night had you clenching hard around him and enveloping every prominent vein. “Under these circumstances, however, it is natural I’ve been released from my royal duties. So right now I’m just the demon Barbatos.”

“You’re always you to me,” you whimpered through the pressure building in your abdomen. “Never just a position, always yourself.”

“No, if I were myself around you,” he bottomed out slowly as you panted against his collarbones while trying to get used to his girth, “I would have given into my urges and made you mine already; would have had you writhing underneath me far earlier than it would be appropriate.”

At his confession, fiery passion blazed through your nerves as you remembered how often you had fantasised about him on quiet nights. To find out he felt the same way made you crave him more, your hand clawing at his shoulder as you did your best to swivel your hips even if all your muscles seemingly turned to jelly with him filling you so deliciously. 

“And I would have let you,” your own admittance was quiet against the heartbeat pulsing in your ears but Barbatos heard you clearly. The sound he let out was the most animalistic yet, barely human anymore and it shot straight between your legs. “Move and– And you can have me any way you want now…”

“All this time spent in the Devildom and you still don’t know when you’re getting yourself in trouble,” Barbatos’s jaw clenched as he slowly pulled out of you, making you feel every vein and ridge against your walls, until only his tip remained inside of you. Then, without warning, he thrust as deep as he could, pulling you back down simultaneously. “You need to watch what you’re saying to a demon such as myself.”

The slow pace he set at the beginning was quickly abandoned in favour of pounding into you, almost using you like a toy with how easily he moved you up and down on him to meet his thrusts. Nevertheless, he never lost his ability to hit your most pleasurable spots dead on, not that he could really miss them with his girth. 

Vaguely, you registered his tail winding around you but you didn’t realise his intentions until something scaly was catching some of your arousal before poking your other hole, making you gasp out his name. Then, his mouth was on yours again and it became harder to hold on to lucidity the more you swallowed around his tongue, your speech becoming even more incoherently slurred as pure lust swirled in your belly.

“It’ll be alright, you can take it. You just need to relax for me,” Barbatos whispered. At this point you didn’t think you had control over your body anymore, instead having your strings pulled by the demon whose arms you were held in. His tail wriggled in further and further, through the thrusts that hadn’t ceased alone, and the pressure against your walls from both sides wound the knot in your stomach impossibly tighter. “There we go, you’re taking it so well. Almost as if you were made for me.”

Somewhere in your mind, you agreed. With the way he was moulding your insides to the shape of his dick you were positive he was currently ruining you for any other man. As your head rolled to the side, you barred the expanse of your neck to him and Barbatos gladly took the invitation to leave more evidence of this night behind, every kiss and lick searing hot against your already feaverish skin.

Just when you thought the pleasure would finally drive you to insanity, Barbatos angled his hips in a particular way and struck gold by having his second dick apply pressure on your clit, immediately drowning you in another orgasm that left you gasping for air. The day after, there’d be vicious red marks decorating his back but neither of you cared right now as you spasmed in his arms, your muscles no longer listening to you. 

Vision hazy, you barely registered the texture of the tiles underneath your torso until your cheek squished against them. Your legs were still submerged as Barbatos repositioned himself behind you. Spreading your ass with his webbed hands, he watched as your glistening holes twitched against the newfound emptiness before he gave you what you were missing.

“I can’t believe you’re still so tight,” he groaned, cursing under his breath as he lined up both of his cocks and bottomed out until his balls slapped against your clit in one smooth trust. The upper one of his dicks wasn’t quite as girthy but still filled you up deliciously until you couldn’t anymore if the stars you were seeing were the real ones behind the window. 

“You look so beautiful, all splayed out for me. And I’m certain you’ll look even more enchanting carrying my clutch,” Barbatos panted, the strain from fucking your brain out finally getting to him as well. “Such a waste that they won’t take like this. You would’ve liked that, wouldn’t you? To carry my eggs around? Oh dear, I can feel you clamping down on me… We’ll leave that for next time, I suppose.”

Only half of what he was saying was registering in your mind but the low, rich timbre of his voice had your own moans rising in cadence and pitch, creating the most sinful symphony. The rhythm of his hips, however, started to falter as the pulsing of your warm walls coaxed him to the peak as well.

Your breasts rubbed against the cold tiles with every thrust, the difference in texture and temperature adding to the stimulation. Despite not being able to see it, you could hear the splash of his tail behind him followed by stray water drops landing on your back. Snaking his hand between your legs, you guessed he truly tried to drive you mad with pleasure as he leaned over you with stuttering hips.

“Barbatos–,” you downright sobbed in warning, “I’m so close.”

“I’m almost there too, just keep sucking me in like this… That’s a good darling,” he groaned out before his fangs sunk into your shoulder.

If you thought you felt full before, you weren’t prepared for the sensation of the first egg being pushed inside of you. You could feel the bottom shaft swell with the oval shape as your muscles stretched further to accommodate for the size. It reminded you of the first time his tip had spread you open, only ten times as intense.

Just when the first one slipped through your tight opening, you came. Hard. And it wouldn’t stop, prolonged by several more of his eggs nestling inside of you. At the same time, your other hole was stuffed to the brim with hot strings of white, leaving you to feel completely stuffed. 

By the time Barbatos pulled out of you, you were still left gasping for air, dripping cum and slick and trembling against the edge of the pool. After admiring the sight in front of him for a little longer, he gently pulled you back against him, letting himself drift backwards in the water. With your back resting against his chest, it was easy for Barbatos to knead the knots out of your sore thighs, hands wandering to stroke over your belly every now and then. Lovingly, he kissed the top of your head as you clung to lucidity, his tail curling around the length of one of your legs. 

“You did so well for me,” he reassured you, stroking along your arms. “And do not fret about the eggs. Since they won’t take like this, they’ll just come back out. Of course, I’ll be there to help you through it. Though I was quite right, you look positively enthralling carrying my clutch.”

“Well, getting to this point felt amazing as well, though I doubt I’ll be moving a single muscle tomorrow,” you admitted, making a chuckle rumble in his chest. Sighing as you shifted in his hold you added, “Guess I’m not so upset I accidentally fed you some magic chocolate if it gave you two dicks. I’ll still get Asmo for it though.”

“Please do.” You could hear the smile in his voice as his fingers traced your body. “Though I must correct you: It was not the transformation that gave me this anatomy.”

“Wait, you always–”, you gulped.

“Naturally. However else could I have promised you to breed you properly in the future?” The teasing tone hiding behind his polite demeanour and closed-eyed- smile did not go unnoticed by you. “That is, of course, if you are willing to help me understand the human body even better.”

“I- I guess I wouldn’t be opposed to that,” you answered bashfully.

“Splendid. Now then, given the nature of the candies I suppose the effect should wear off when Halloween night ends,” Barbatos cleared your next question before you even posed it. “Judging by how high the moon still stands, it appears we still have plenty of time.

“Perhaps we should test your stamina next while we see how many clutches you can carry?”

© the-travelling-witch 2023 - do not repost, translate, copy or edit

if you like my content, reblogs, comments and asks are always much appreciated ♡

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[ninjanissie]

I recently did a black and white version of my master ref sheet for my characters to make toning easier (for general use, the tones and colors tend to change depending on the lighting and situation).

Also, I remembered Ydrithe's eyebrows this time

[pinkaditty]

Hi, hi!

I loved your perverted obey me brothers and you catching them with your underwear. Will you make a part 2 with the other dateables?

If not, no worries!!

I love your work and I hope you have a nice day!

anon. did u know that ur my first ask? did u know that anon? ily. i've been thinking abt this ask since i saw i first got it. i never knew getting an ask could be so euphoric.

anyways

Pervert (Obey Me: Shall We Date) Part 2!

summary: you are suspecting that someone is stealing your underwear. it will go missing and randomly reappear like it was never gone. you pretend not to notice, but set a little trap for the culprit… and catch them red handed.

a/n: folks. wow. i did not expect part 1 to be soso popular omg!! ily guys thanks so much for enjoying my stuff waaaah! sorry this second part took so fucking long man so much shit happened. like sooo much im so tired. anyways. here. this part includes the royals, angel, and human. ill be back with the others (thirteen, mephisto, and raphael) soon! they may be slightly ooc bc im unfamiliar with them but ill do my best! also im like literally praying that the characters i wrote here aren't ooc. I tried SO hard please lmk if they are. <;/3

content warning: as usual fem!mc unless you like to imagine yours as a crossdresser (mc's physical attributes are not mentioned but fem undergarments are), and suggestive nsfw content! lmk if there's anything i missed :(

read part 1 here!

AS USUAL MINORS DNI PLEASE! PLEASE RESPECT MY BOUNDARY! THANK YOU!

Intro:

For a short while, you had been reassigned to stay at Purgatory Hall/The Demon Lord’s Castle/wherever else the Dateables are due to Satan having accidentally destroyed your section of the House of Lamentation. No big deal, but all of the brothers were less than happy to see you go. It’s okay, though. You’ll be fine among the others…

The story is the same, of course. You think someone has been nicking your intimates in their spare time. Which is, of course, strange but simultaneously exciting. 

You decide to set a trap to find out who they are, leaving your hamper full of clothes in the washroom before leaving to grab some scent beads. When you return, as expected, you can hear someone rifling through your intimates, but it’s not rushed. Rather, it’s calm and calculated, as though said person was desperate to not be heard. You decide to wait outside the door for them. Once they collect the spoils of their work, they quietly slip through the door, only to find you leaning against the wall outside, looking at them expectantly. Your arms are crossed and you’re tapping your fingers on your arm. You raise an eyebrow at them, stifling the urge to cackle at their panicked expression.

“Explain yourself, pervert.” 

Diavolo:

You know, simultaneously, you expected him and didn’t expect him at all - at the same time. It wasn’t exactly a secret that Dia was fascinated with humans, especially with you, but… To such lengths? Really? If only Barbatos could see him now. 

For a man that loves to talk… He sure is speechless now.

He’s frozen. The panicked expression remains on his face, his eyes flickering from the surrounding hallways and walls to you, to the floor, and back to the hallways. If there was a way out, he couldn’t find it. Before long, he deflated, resigning to looking down, a pitiful pout on his face. You got the feeling it was partially for show, though.

He whimpered like a hurt puppy before muttering a very formal apology. Keeping his head down, he held out the panties towards you. As you watch him, you realize this man has probably rarely ever felt shame before. It's almost entertaining - watching his eyes spin as he tries to adjust to feeling this way. Though he tries to hide it, you can hear his heaving breaths from here. He was ashamed. You could tell he wasn't ashamed for his actions; rather, he was ashamed because he was caught.

The thought makes you want to laugh, and you do, snatching the panties from his waiting hand. He looks up as you laugh, confused, his lips in a soft pout. His eyes almost look teary, as though he's that sad that you're laughing at him. You stifle your laughter with a hand and wave it off, walking past him into the laundry room to put your panties back in the hamper. Once your laughter dies out, you don't face him, but you do speak to him, knowing he is listening.

"Dia, the next time you find yourself fascinated with me, you can just ask. I'll be happy to spare a worn pair for your sake." 

You hear a surprised gasp, a shuffling of feet, and a relieved exhale. You turn to him, finally, to see him bowing his head in thanks. He's biting his lip and his face is bright red. Probably too embarrassed to make eye contact. He covers his mouth with his hand, muffling his words before speaking.

"Thank you, MC, for letting this slide… And please, don't tell Barbatos…" His face burns red at his final words, and you smile, amused.

"Don't worry, I won't tell." You wink at him before returning to your laundry, hearing his hesitant steps as he walked away.

Barbatos:

He's frozen. Mortified. He stands there, rooted to the spot like a statue of stone. He stammers out your name in surprise, nervously shifting his gaze from you to your surroundings. He clears his throat, holding a hand up to his lips, and keeps it there, as though attempting to hide his growing blush. "I-I deeply apologize, MC. I should not have been here… You were not meant to see me… " He sounds out of breath, his words light and mumbled.

He turns away from you at an angle, shutting his eyes tight and keeping his hand in front of his face. You watch him take deep breaths and attempt to steady himself and regain his composure. You had to admit, watching him fumble through such an embarrassment was awfully entertaining. His chest visibly rose and fell with each audible breath. He gently teetered on his feet, as though he could fall over if he couldn't keep up. What a sight to behold, Barbatos at a loss for words and composure. 

You approach him quietly, walking slowly to prevent the click of your shoes from being heard. You know that while he can't hear you, he can feel you, and he knows you're close. He shuffles backwards shyly, attempting to replace the distance you remove with every step. Ultimately, however, he is too slow, and you manage to get close enough to him, cornering him against a wall inside the laundry room. You make no effort to cage him in, but simply watch as he continues to attempt to get ahold of himself. He swallows thickly and slowly opens his eyes, calming down. He lowers his hand back to his side, and looks at you levelly, his expression still embarrassed but not mortified any longer. You smile, raising an eyebrow.

"I'd like my panties now, thanks." You hold out a hand expectantly, and Barbatos obliges, pulling the panties from his coat pocket and placing them in your waiting hand, all signs of embarrassment gone from his face, replaced by his trademark smile instead. His ears however, were a dead giveaway, as the tips of them remained red. You simply chuckle and lean away from him, humming in thanks and placing them back into the hamper. He moves to assist you with your clothes, and does so efficiently, though you watch him carefully to ensure his nimble fingers don’t grab hold of anything else without your permission. When the task is finished, he bows respectfully.

“Is there anything else I can assist you with, MC?” 

You shake your head, smiling. “No, but thank you, Barbatos.”

With that done, his ears still burning red and his smile faltering slightly, he moves to leave. You stop him, grabbing his arm as he passes you. He looks back at you curiously, embarrassment still painted on his face. “And, please, ask me next time.” You smile, your eyes filling with mirth. “I’d be happy to give you a pair later as thanks for your assistance.”

He swallows thickly and his eyes widen. He bites his lip before nodding, thanking you briskly, and walking away hurriedly, his face red.

You think you see a flash of lace in his back pocket as he leaves, but maybe you’re imagining it...

Simeon:

Now, this was a surprise. The angel? Really?

He yelps in surprise, fumbling with the panties and dropping them on the ground, hiding his face in his hands and backing into a wall. He’s visibly shaking, his hands trembling as he hides behind them, not even peeking out to observe your reaction. His knees wobbled and he began to shrink in on himself, eventually kneeling on the floor. You watch him wordlessly, amused. He’s unexpectedly quite dramatic. 

After a few moments, you hear him mumbling to himself. Confused, you tentatively approach him, listening carefully. You catch little bits of what he’s saying before kneeling down, to which he shrinks further and his mumbling speed increases. Then it hits you. He’s… praying.

He’s literally fucking praying. 

You are so thoroughly amused at this that you want to laugh, but you wonder if being a victim of the wrath of Simeon or the almighty was worth it, so you decide against it. You stifle and disguise your laugh as clearing your throat, doing a comically loud “Ahem” to get Simeon’s attention.

Not one to be disobedient, he stops his muttering and slowly lifts his head to look at you. You smile smugly at him, your eyes narrowing with mirth. You reach out towards him and gently touch his chin. He flinches, but doesn’t pull away, looking between your fingers and your face curiously. You hold his chin and lift it upwards, and he follows your movements, adjusting himself so it’s easier to peer upwards at you. You smile wider, even more amused than before. 

“I don’t think that’ll work down here, Simeon.” Your voice is low and taunting, and Simeon gulps, his eyes still not leaving yours. He still doesn’t say anything, merely trembles, as though he were being judged.

Maybe he was, a little bit, but favorably so. It’s not everyday you’d find an angel ballsy enough to do this, right?

You tut at him, clicking your tongue and shaking your head disapprovingly. “Oh, Simeon…” You put on a fake pout, looking at him with pity in your eyes. “Don’t you know better than to do this?”

“Ugh…” Simeon bites his lip. His eyebrows furrow and his mouth creases downwards into a pathetic expression. You continued to stifle your laughter by biting the inside of your cheek. However, you are ultimately unsuccessful and end up bursting into an amused smile and a few breathy chuckles at him. 

When your laughter dies down, you look at him, still holding his chin. “Come now, Simeon.” You smile, winking at him. “All you have to do is ask… If you‘d like another pair.”

Simeon sucks in a breath in shock, and his eyes widen as he looks at you. He suddenly scrambles to his feet, straightening up, his head still bent forward in embarrassment. 

“I-I’m sorry, MC! It won’t happen again!” He swiftly walks past you, not looking at you and barely opening his eyes enough to see, narrowly missing the wall in his rush to leave. You listen to his retreating footsteps and only laugh. Maybe you’d drop by his room later and give him a gift.

Solomon: 

Shameless. But he’s old and barely human. He’s also the worst.

He doesn’t react much besides his initial panicked reaction, which soon melts into mirth, a smug smile appearing on his face. He’s confident, but not that confident. His exaggerated smug smile twitches at the corners and his face remains flushed a deep red. He dramatically clears his throat and smiles coyly, the picture of a wolf in sheep’s clothing. “Ah…” He starts, shrugging his shoulders, still smiling, the corners of his lips still twitching. His voice shakes just slightly. “You got me!”

Your face can’t seem to decide if it wants to fall into a disappointed expression at his brazen admission or burst into a fit of laughter at his obvious fear. Instead, it seems to settle on a pitying smirk, and you have to stop it from turning into a full on grin. You sigh and shake your head, not super surprised. 

You approach him, and he visibly stiffens, but his arrogance forces him to stay in place, his confidence crumbling at your certainty. When you stand just in front of him, you hold out your hand, a smug look on your face. “I’ve got you indeed! Hand them over.” Your words are quick and terse, smug smile and knowing look still on your face. Solomon swallows, and looks to the side, gently dropping the panties into your hands. He makes no move to look at you again after that, still facing you but looking away. 

You scoff as you watch him simply stand there. You find it amusing, but you are also dissatisfied at his lack of retorts. You put your hands on your hips and smirk, attempting to provoke him. “Hm. I’d expect a panty thief to be more ballsy. What, cat got your tongue?” Your smug smile only grows and your eyes narrow with mirth. His confidence almost seems to fully crumble under your gaze, and he relents, his blush spreading all across his face. Yet still, he remains silent.

You approach further, your steps slow and deliberately intimidating. He’s rooted to the spot, unable to move, still frantically finding anything to gaze at instead of you. Eventually you stand mere centimeters from him, your body just barely touching his. You smirk at him and lean your head forward, blowing on him before pulling back. He flinches immediately, startled, and bumps into the wall behind him. You giggle at him, thoroughly amused at his frantic nerves. He looks at you pathetically, lips red from worrying at them with his teeth, pupils blown wide, red blush from his forehead to his neck. 

“Aw, don’t look at me like that~!” You tease him, pressing your finger into his cheek. He watches you warily, seemingly at a loss for words. Your lips pull into a wicked smile. “How long has it been, hm?”

Immediately his eyes widen and he stammers out some indignant words, trying to deflect and explain himself. You only laugh at his stammered words, and he eventually stops, worrying at his lips again with his teeth. “Oh, don’t worry, I imagine you have plenty of escapades. But why couldn’t you just ask me?” You tilt your head at him, looking at him with hooded eyes. “Hm? It couldn’t have been that hard to just ask.”

Surprisingly, he only sighs and shakes his head, blush still present. “My dear apprentice, I am only human. Even I still don’t know how to properly act in the face of attraction.” A small, wobbly smile pulls at his lips before he purses his lips again, biting down to stifle any further words. His answer was straightforward, but you can tell he is still nervous. His breathing remains heavy, his eyes are still wide, and he’s still covered in a crimson blush. You laugh again.

Instead of teasing him further, though you really want to, you smile. “Well, now you know. Simply ask, Solomon. I am willing to help you… if you want me to.” You smile before turning away, dropping the panties into your clothes hamper, and starting the wash. It takes Solomon a moment to snap out of it and leave, but he does. You could feel his eyes on you and his magic still lingers in the air.

a/n: *super saiyan yells* thank you for reading waaaaaah! i did my best and im soso sorry if any of these characs are ooc... if they are too ooc i might actually rewrite it fr im so scared :(

anyways as usual feedback is always appreciated, and so are comments, likes, reblogs and asks! (especially asks) please show me your appreciation! i love to know i've done a good job.

@ikevampharem asked to be tagged :3!

[melbatron5000]

Crowley's interesting kink

A couple days ago, I posted some more of my work on the chiastic structure of Good Omens 2. I stumbled across a funny parallel while looking for important plot Clues.

I kind of want to delve into it a little more, because while it is funny, I also think it's interesting and reveals a little bit of character.

The structure parallels I found were these:

Line 120: (Highlighted in pink) Muriel arrives in an all-white constable uniform.

Hand-written note: (Line 121) Mrs. Sandwich notes someone has a sense of humor, or an interesting kink -- Crowley asks that Muriel arrest him.

Line 122: (reversed, highlighted in pink) "This is very difficult, but I'm not actually Inspector Constable."

Line 121 (reversed, not highlighted yet): "I'm a demon with knowledge of a crime against Heaven. Slap the cuffs on me."

So Crowley has a sense of humor or an interesting kink? Well, yes to both.

Crowley enjoys playing the bad guy, being the demon to Aziraphale's angel. He likes the contrast they create, he likes the strangeness of them being a couple, he likes playing the heavy. He is the bad cop to Aziraphale's good cop. He thinks it's funny, but it also revs his engine.

And Aziraphale knows it. Look at Aziraphale tempting Crowley into the wall slam -- he calls Crowley nice, knowing that Crowley likes being the demon, specifically he likes being Aziraphale's demon. It's a turn-on for him. It's a turn-on for both of them.

There's that moment where Crowley stares at Aziraphale with sort of a blank expression before he grabs him; he's reading Aziraphale's cues and knows Aziraphale wants the bad boy right now -- and he enjoys giving that to him.

Good lord, I was pretty sure they probably aren't actually doing the deed -- but now I'm not so sure. They sure don't look like a couple who don't know what sex is, or aren't interested.

Or maybe this is a form of intimacy for them, this role-playing they do, where Aziraphale eats cake while Crowley watches and Crowley acts all mean and rough while Aziraphale watches. This might be their way of getting off, how they indulge one another in a way that's just as intimate as sex, but different.

Either way, it puts a smile on your face.

[edoro]

thinking about this post again, and what malewifesband points out in the reblogs about Mithrun's violence towards Thistle vs his violence towards the shadow governor

i hadn't made that comparison myself before, but it truly is such a striking difference, and because Thistle is my special little guy i've been mulling over it

i think it's interesting that Mithrun's behavior towards Thistle is not only violent and frightening but outright cruel in a way that he isn't even with Marcille

(which is not to say that he isn't violent, frightening, and shitty to her - the whole bit where he catches her out in a lie and then the canaries sit around shit-talking her mom and the fact that she's a half-elf is very bigoted and unpleasant!)

he scares the absolute shit out of Marcille, but his violence is very single-minded and directed. first, he's trying to get the books off her. then, he's trying to kill her.

with Thistle... it almost feels like Mithrun is toying with him. take a chunk out of his arm so he drops the book. take a chunk out of his thigh when he tries to run and grab it. chokeslam him to the ground and get on top of him and say The Cruelest Possible Shit to him after tormenting him physically like a cat with a bird.

now of course, we can justify. he didn't want to risk killing Thistle outright (although then we get into the questionable territory of "would being sent to the surface kill him anyway?" since he says the dungeon lord has their lifespan extended by the dungeon, and that teleporting Thistle to the surface would confirm if he is or isn't the dungeon lord), or he can't be so precise when he isn't able to touch someone and he's using his magic on them from a distance, especially with his lack of depth perception or whatever, you know

he hurts Thistle, who comes across like someone who's not used to experiencing a lot of physical pain, and then he tells him that the person he's dedicated himself to is dead, there's no point to continuing, and that the most cherished person in his life wished for his death

i do think that Mithrun, on some level, genuinely does want to prevent other people from suffering his fate, whether that means preventing them from becoming the dungeon lord in the first place or convincing them to give it up before they're devoured and left alive but empty. however, i also think (thanks to talking with @schniggles) that on a much deeper, more viscerally subconscious level, he wants to be eaten, and when those two desires come into conflict, the desire to die is stronger and results in what can at best be described as half-assery and at worst is outright self-sabotage

he tells Thistle there's no point to what he's doing and that it's time for him to free himself. charitably, one can imagine that he sees his words as the equivalent of a brisk slap to the face to snap Thistle out of his dungeon lord hysteria. but the thing about Mithrun is that it's not that he doesn't understand social conventions or other people's feelings, he just doesn't care

he didn't suddenly forget the concept of being nice or being cruel, or what it means to hurt someone's feelings. he just doesn't give a shit. it's not important to him. he lacks the desire to even make the effort for appearance's sake.

it's not like he doesn't know that telling the Melinis' elf slave that Delgal is dead, he never said what Thistle says he did and Thistle just misunderstood, and that Delgal wished for Thistle's death is going to fuck Thistle up. he doesn't care about how badly it hurts and he either hopes that the pain will make Thistle stop resisting or that hurting and tormenting Thistle this way will drive him to summon the demon. possibly (probably) both.

i don't really have much of a thesis statement here, just i guess an exploration of my thoughts... Mithrun is deeply cruel to Thistle and it's quite easy to imagine that part of this is because he knows Thistle has no status and no powerful friends, that he feels no need to even pretend to treat Thistle as a person... one could also easily imagine that it's because he's trying to provoke Thistle into summoning the demon, and one could ALSO easily imagine that there's an element of self-loathing to it, that in a sense he's punishing Thistle for his own past

[wttcsms]

WAIT DON'T CLOSE IT YET!!!!! the 'love story told in untraditional format' prompt and DABI??? mm.

would like to meet, touya todoroki ;

pairing touya 'dabi' todoroki x f!reader word count 1.9k synopsis the dregs of society run rampant on hinge, and everyone knows you're not going to meet The One on there. but you know the saying... love does come when you least expect it. alternatively: catching feelings through the hinge dms. content contains one reference to jumping off a building, some sexual jokes author's notes OK not necessarily a love story, but there are feelings in involved, i swear. this is supposed to be fun & silly!!!!

You nearly throw your phone across the room. Download Hinge, your friends encouraged you. It’ll be fun! 

You frown at Shigaraki’s ever-so-eloquent opening line of I’d blow yo back out. Yeah, you can see why this app was designed to be deleted. The fucking dregs of society are crawling all over this thing. Just one nice, well-adjusted individual. That’s all you’re asking for! 

Apparently, any decent guy is either taken or not on Hinge. You debate throwing in the towel and just meeting someone organically, like, out in public, exactly as the good lord intended, but right before you do, your phone vibrates.

New Notification!

Hinge | Dabi liked your image!

Hinge | Dabi sent you a chat!

It’s a Friday night, and you know for a fact that there is not a single sane man on this app, especially at this hour. Considering the fact that you’re sitting in bed right now, about to rewatch Pride & Prejudice for the sixth time this week, what else do you have to lose? Dignity? You open the app.

Apr 22 10: 24 PM

Dabi: You’re hot, what’s wrong with you

You: ?? 

Dabi: You’re too hot to be single and on here. What’s your deal 

You: you’re on here too? 🤨

Dabi: Would you say I’m too hot to the point where it’s suspicious I’m on here

You: i’m not here to give you an ego boost

Dabi: Then what’s the point of being on here

You: so you just get on here for free compliments?

Dabi: Maybe I have premium. Maybe I pay for these compliments 

You: yeah, you look like the type to pay for hinge premium ngl 

Dabi: Bye I’m going to talk to girls that are easier to manipulate 

You: please do 🙏 

Apr 23 1:21 PM

Dabi: Did you miss me

Apr 23 3:15 PM

You: so much

Apr 23 4:47 PM

Dabi: How much

Apr 23 6:01 PM

You: i was going to jump off a bridge if u didn’t text me 

Apr 23 8:01 PM

Dabi: Damn that’s crazy

Dabi: How I don’t care 

Apr 23 10:15 PM

You: don’t you have anyone else to bother

Dabi: I want to bother you though 

You: you probably scared off every girl you’ve ever come in contact with 

Dabi: True

Dabi: Except for you because you’re stupid

You: you pay for hinge premium, there’s an idiot in this conversation but it’s def not me

Dabi: I was joking 

Dabi: I don’t have money like that

You: i can tell

You: you probably take girls out for coffee as a first date, and then make them venmo u their half of the bill

Dabi: Nah

Dabi: I make her pay the full amount

You: i’m not surprised

Dabi: That was a joke too

Dabi: I never take girls out 

You: thank God

You: you’d probably be every girl’s worst date story

Dabi: Want to test that theory out 

You: no thanks, i don’t feel like being content material for some crime podcast 

Dabi: Smart girl

Apr 24 12:13 PM

Dabi: Wyd

You: at the police station, filing a restraining order on you 

Dabi: Damn 

Dabi: You want to be the one to put me in cuffs

You: the officer here actually has pink cuffs, i know some guys find that emasculating but you seem like you wouldn’t mind

Dabi: I love pink actually 

Dabi: I’m so down

You: i think you’re my dream guy

You: more like my sleep paralysis demon, but same difference 

Dabi: Aw you think of me when you sleep

Dabi: You’re that obsessed already

You: stfu 

Dabi: Don’t feel bad 

Dabi: I’m a munch fr

Dabi: I need u

You: what you need is to be put on some medication 

Dabi: Yeah you’re my medication

You: you need to be psychologically evaluated 

You: r u a social experiment 

Dabi: Stop flirting with me 

You: you’re so childish

Dabi: Am I bothering you

Dabi: Do I elicit strong emotions 

You: you don’t look like someone who knows the word elicit 

Dabi: I’m in grad school

You: wow

You: this is the first time you’ve left me genuinely speechless 

Apr 24 3:55 PM

Dabi: Yo when’s ur bday 

Dabi: Do you have any siblings 

You: are u gonna ask for my mother’s maiden name too 

Dabi: Yeah actually 

Dabi: Give me your ssn while you’re at it

You: ur a creep, ur lucky ur cute

Dabi: Wow, you can’t have deep convos with anyone any more without being accused of trying to get answers to their security questions

You: tell me something abt you first

Dabi: My dad sucks

You: yeah you look like you would have daddy issues

Dabi: Lmao

Dabi: I’m being fr though

You: yeah, a lot of dads do suck. what abt the rest of ur family?

Dabi: I haven’t seen them in years

You: oh

You: do they suck too?

Dabi: Nah

Dabi: I moved out as soon as I could 

You: your dad was that bad?

Dabi: The worst

You: are you trying to get pity pussy rn???? don’t tug on my heartstrings if it’s all just a lie

Dabi: Damn wtf

Dabi: But also depends. Do u wanna give me some pity pussy rn

You: bye i thought we were actually having a serious moment 

Dabi: I wasn’t lying. Swear

Dabi: Now tell me something too

You: im an attention seeker. that’s why im on here

Apr 25 1:56 PM

Dabi: Did u miss me not giving u attention

Apr 25 3:56 PM

You: sorry, i was having really crazy sex waiting for u to come back

Dabi: Fire

Dabi: You deserve it

Dabi: Me next?

You: only if you promise to tell me u love me before the post nut clarity hits

Dabi: I love manipulating women during sex

Dabi: Anything for u 

You: you say that but someone else is in my dms telling me that i can be his housewife and raise our kids and never work a day in my life again so pls top that offer 

Dabi: DAMN

Dabi: I bet he’s boring 

You: he’s not boring, we’re actually getting married and gonna have a big family

Dabi: Well clearly the fact that ur talking about him to me shows that u aren’t interested in him 

You: i’m telling u abt him so u have something to aspire to

Dabi: Damn you should date him then 

You: that’s the first intelligent thing you’ve said 

Apr 26 7:00 AM

Dabi: I hate you

Dabi: Wyd today

You: pls mind ur own business 

Dabi: Smd

Dabi: Tell me or I block you

Apr 26 8:19 AM

Dabi: U suck

You: and swallow

Dabi: No you don’t

Dabi: You probably spit it out

Apr 27 9:34 AM

You: true but in my defense, you look like you would produce something that tastes like toxic waste

Dabi: Were u deadass ignoring me 

You: don’t be so needy, dabi. it’s not a good look

Dabi: Sorry that was a moment weakness 

Dabi: So what now

Dabi: Is this when u give me ur insta

You: i don’t have any social media

Dabi: Nah you’re a catfish

You: maybe

Apr 27 1:34 PM

Dabi: Wyd

You: you’re a true wyd warrior, do u realize that

You: i’m currently getting my back blown out by a dude who posted his headshot as one of his hinge pics. i am not even faking my moans.

Dabi: Stfu 😂

Dabi: Do u even know what sex is

Dabi: Name one position 

You: easy, missionary 

Dabi: Well you’re on your phone so obviously the sex you’re having isn’t that good 

You: im just a good multitasker 

Dabi: tell me if ur shit is grippy

You: hold on, let me ask him

Dabi: Whats his name

Dabi: Whats he saying

You: don’t worry abt his name

You: he told me im gripping him so tight, it’s like i’m trying to take his blood pressure rn

Dabi: LMAO 

Dabi: That means ur not attracted to him

You: wow, a guy who knows that tight doesn’t equal aroused, i’m genuinely impressed w you 

You: and for the record, i would never actually fuck a guy who posts a professional headshot as one of his pics on hinge 

Dabi: Oh now you tell me

Dabi: Guess I have to cancel the appointment I just made to get a headshot done 

Apr 28 6:20 AM

Dabi: Im leaving Okinawa to go back to work. I’m sad, cheer me up

You: just commit a crime so they won’t let you leave

You: also i think maybe u need a psych eval or smth bc why are u still talking to me 🤨

Dabi: Nah tbh you’re the most interesting person on here

Dabi: I’m gonna go to tokyo and commit a crime on u 

You: yea, u not being in my guts rn should be a crime

Dabi: Chill my dick isn’t big enough for that 😂 

You: i want you to seek professional help

Dabi: I want u to seek these nuts in ur mouth

You: when should i ghost you

Dabi: Whenever u want bae you can ghost me anytime 

Apr 28 7:26 AM

Dabi: REPLY

You: u literally told me i could ghost u anytime WHAT IS UR DEAL

Dabi: Damn ok well when you do at least say goodbye

You: when i do, i’m reporting ur hinge account in the hopes that u get banned and have to resort to meeting women irl

You: i’m actually reporting ur account rn

Dabi: Good idea

Dabi: I’ll report u too 

Dabi: Before you get banned from hinge, can I have your number

You: no

You: i don’t give my number out to random ass strangers online

You: and ‘dabi’ is a weird name to have saved in my contacts

Dabi: Touya

Dabi: That’s my real name

You: oh

You: who the hell uses a fake name on a dating app??? 😭

Dabi: Stranger danger is real

Dabi: If I take you out on a date will you give me your number

You: a REAL date???

Dabi: Yeah I’m actually a gentleman in case you couldn’t tell

You: i don’t know how i could’ve missed that fact.

Dabi: I’m being fr though

Dabi: Dinner reservations and everything

You: are you paying the entire bill 🤨

Dabi: Why wouldn’t I

You: hmmm

You: every sex joke i made was definitely just a joke though, pls don’t get any crazy ideas

Dabi: Obviously you were joking, I’m not an idiot

You: you’re not gonna try to hit on the first date?

Dabi: If it’ll make you more comfortable, I’ll tape a 10 ft pole to my chest so I can’t get anywhere near you

You: cute

Dabi: Dinner tomorrow?

You: yes, dinner tomorrow 

Dabi: And if I do well, I get your number?

You: hmmm

You: i guess

Dabi: Fuck yeah

Dabi: I’m tired of texting you through hinge 

You: you only get it IF you do well

Dabi: I’m gonna rock your shit 

Dabi: Romantically 

You: sure you will

Apr 30 12:01 AM

Are you sure you want to delete the Hinge app?

Yes | No

You selected Yes! Reason for deletion?

[ ] No new matches

[ ] App is difficult to work with

[ ] Found another app to use

[ X ] I met someone

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 410: Kacchan Fights a Baby

Previously on BnHA: Kacchan was born and then he grew up and murdered the Demon Lord.

Today on BnHA: Kacchan fights a baby. Tomura and Deku finally remember that they were supposed to have been fighting too this entire time, and get on with that once again. Tomura is all, “[literally just reaches out and grabs Deku’s face because Deku’s main character powers suddenly abandoned him in a fit of confusion].” Deku is all, “[chops off Tomura’s fingers which is somehow not even in the top twenty of violent things that have happened in this series in just the last five chapters].” Tomura is all “joke’s on you I still got your quirk :D” and fuck me he actually stole Danger Sense, what the fuck.

logically I knew AFO still had to be alive somehow because he’s too big of a villain to go out that easily without a proper sendoff. but deep in my heart, I’m still secretly disappointed

it just isn’t fair, lol. this guy has died more times than Rasputin and he’s still out here scheming his schemey schemes. when oh when will it end

sir you did not just say you had yet ANOTHER unused trump card up your sleeve??

(ETA: the translation isn’t fully clear here, but I think the trump card he’s referring to is the whole “I’ll just go back inside him and join the part of me that was already in there and we’ll take over Tomura’s body again together” plan that he was trying to pull off. I think. if not though, that’s certainly something worth speculating about.)

well as always the psychology in this series is unironically fascinating! he just wants acknowledgement at the end of the day, huh. just wants some love and attention. too bad he was born in a rat-infested hellscape and learned all the wrong lessons and turned into a crazed omnipotent murderlad

also he really did turn back into a baby sdfsdlkjfl oh no. I need to see Katsuki’s reaction to this immediately

oh my lord

(●__●)

lmao this is so incredibly fucked up

ngl though, this is karma at its finest. he tortured and killed so many people trying to earn everyone’s fear and awe and reverence, only to literally blip out of existence at the end with absolutely nothing to show for it

everyone please enjoy this series of panels of a deeply vexed Bakugou Katsuki picking a fight with this slowly melting evil baby

“you think I care that you’re a baby now. you think I won’t fight a fuckin’ baby. let’s do this you little punk”

also I’m sorry but it’s absolutely ridiculous that the gigantic chest wound Tomura inflicted on him got sewed up so neatly lol. AFO’s not the only one who stubbornly refuses to die no matter what

...

just once, it would be nice if Horikoshi didn’t immediately shred my plot nitpicks to pieces mere seconds after I write them

LMAO

BABY AFO DON’T CARE. BABY AFO WILL THROW HANDS WITH ANYONE ＼(｀0´)／

KACCHAN MY BELOVED FAVE OF ALL TIME, ARE YOU REALLY ABOUT TO LOSE TO A LITERAL FUCKING INFANT

WHAT HAPPENED TO “PERFECT VICTORY” LMAO. MOVING THE GOALPOSTS EVEN AS HIS CONSCIOUSNESS FADES. “EH, CLOSE ENOUGH”

-- OH FOR THE LOVE OF --

me: wow it sure is uncharacteristic of Katsuki to just pass out before he properly wraps up this battle

Horikoshi: oh yeah good point, sure would be a shame if someone... IMMEDIATELY ADDRESSED THAT CONCERN ON THE VERY NEXT PAGE

me: ఠ_ఠ

ldskjflaksdjfkds

fdsfsdkf. “SORRY ABOUT THAT, FOR A MOMENT THERE I ALMOST FORGOT TO BEND THE ENTIRE UNIVERSE TO MY WILL”

holy fucking shit. his body was all “um, just a quick reminder that you’re HORRIBLY WOUNDED and have lost like ten gallons of blood and all of your cells are about to call an emergency meeting to shut this thing down before you get us all killed.” and he was all “WHAT WAS THAT?!” and his body was all “oh my GOD, FUCK, OKAY just forget we said anything”

and meanwhile Baby AFO is just lying there all “(◉⌓◉)”

this six-month-old child is truly and sincerely still trying to kill Kacchan while screeching death threats in high-pitched baby talk

this actually would have killed him too, if he’d succeeded in passing out. all that just to be punk’d by a damn baby

you are actually shitting me right now

at this point I’m genuinely not sure which of them has the more powerful angry toddler energy

oh no ffuffkdsfk

meeeeelting. meeeeeeltiiiiiing!!! oh what a world what a world

jesus Horikoshi I am genuinely speechless

... welp

WAIT NO WAY, REALLY?!?!

?!?!?! WAS IT ACTUALLY THAT SIMPLE THIS WHOLE TIME

-- lkjf

three times. three times in the same fucking chapter. I give up. apparently I’ll literally believe anything this man says. does it feel good, Horikoshi. preying on your readers’ hopeful naivete

yeefuckinghaw lmao

GOOD JOB KACCHAN YOU DEFEATED THE EVIL BABY

awwwww

I actually had a theory about this! well more of a wishlist item, really. I can’t remember if I’ve actually posted about it yet or not. but it’s like. you know how Deku and Kacchan are always being really dramatic about holding hands? wanting to hold hands; not wanting to hold hands; being afraid to hold hands; holding hands via proxy, etc. etc.?

and you know how both Endeavor and All Might have each done their own version of the victory pose that Kacchan is referring to here? with each one using a different hand?

so you see, I was thinking that it might be nice. might be a little poetic and all that. if at the end of the fight, Deku and Kacchan did, in fact, hold hands. and then did the victory pose together. and it became like their iconic hero moment. them standing there together. having accomplished their goal and defeated TomurAFO through teamwork. realizing their shared childhood dream. and sharing that moment of triumph with each other and with the world, ushering in a new era of heroes

anyway yeah. I was thinking that might be a pretty good ending. but it looks like Kacchan maybe really is about to pass out here now, lol, so maybe not? anyways time to finally scroll down

-- okay I literally said awww again out loud

what a fucking nerd. I have never felt more fondness for a character in my life

every damn person watching this on the news better have leaped to their feet and started applauding, goddammit. those motherfuckers better be CHANTING HIS FUCKING NAME. all those nagging reporters better be bombarding his phone with calls. those fuckers who deleted his footage from the Shouto interview better be shamelessly leaving him dozens of voicemails acting like none of that ever happened and presumptuously asking when he can free some time in his schedule to visit their studio again. all the heroes who haven’t hugged him yet better be lining the fuck up. that one guy from the post-kidnapping press conference in chapter 86 better be writing a fifty page letter of apology!!

oh hey it’s a random pre-battle flashback mysteriously taking place in Troy “a few days before the battle” even though I thought they only moved into that place the night before the fight

I love how Katsuki immediately narrows his eyes (I assume. we can’t see for sure but that’s the vibe I get) at Jeanist and has to resist the urge to call the police on him for that pun

so Hadou’s wondering what Jeanist is talking about because they already evacuated the civilians, so what else are they trying to protect. and Edgeshot is all, “well obviously we’ve gotta protect everyone’s future,” which is a nice... rearshadowing?? for him saving Katsuki’s life later on lol

and now Mirko is all “get to the fucking point already.” which, same

so Jeanist says that Tomura is an even bigger problem than AFO, because at least AFO doesn’t want to murder everyone on the entire planet. and he concludes with “he’ll probably try to touch the ground and use his quirk.” which is a conclusion that I have to say wasn’t really worth two pages of flashback buildup for, considering that we all figured that out years ago

I’m guessing this is all just some sort of awkward transition back to Deku’s fight now lol

and now we’re getting two pages of exposition on how long it would theoretically take Tomura’s Decay to spread throughout the city, and then the entire country, yikes

damn. talk about stakes

and now finally back to Deku!!

shoutout to everyone who correctly predicted that Deku was once again talking out of his ass when it came to being out of Gearshifts. we all knew. unlimited supply

wow Tomura way to throw AFO under the bus

the way I recall it, AFO wasn’t the one who failed to kill him back then lol. but go ahead and talk your shit king

DEKU WHAT ARE YOU DOING

holy shit?!?!

like my first thought was “well last time he did this he just tried to steal OFA rather than Decay him, so he’ll probably try that again and it’ll be fine.” only to remember that the AFO inside Tomura is currently permanently(?) out to lunch, and Tomura himself doesn’t give two figs about stealing OFA. so, uhhhh >_>

(ETA: nevermind.)

but then this happened

Deku what the actual fuck

OH MY GOD??!?!

HOLY SHIT

okay. okay, fuck. lemme gather up my thoughts, and then we’ll wrap this up

they’ll never admit it, but you know the other OFA Vestiges secretly resented Shino a tiny bit for being the only one of them to not be gruesomely murdered. bet they all feel guilty for thinking that now

Shino and Banjou also seemed to have this cute little pseudo-rivalry thing going on, so I really feel bad for Banjou now. :/ he looks so horrified in that bottom right panel

gotta admit, I did not see this coming in the slightest. OFA has been this immutable “I do what I want!” quirk for so long that I never thought Tomura or AFO would actually succeed in stealing it, even partially. that shook me to my core

BUT, it’s also really exciting to me because it’s going to make this battle much more interesting if Deku can’t use his get out of jail free card. shit just got way more real and I’m here for it

lastly, so! let me tell you guys my prediction. I still can’t see Tomura being the final villain lol. I just can’t. it feels too anticlimactic. if I’m wrong, I’m wrong, and I’ve certainly botched MANY predictions in the past, but I have not yet learned my lesson from any of it and I will not apologize lol

so here’s what I think. Deku and Tomura battle it out for the next chapter or two, and Tomura snatches up more of Deku’s quirks one by one. we see all of the Vestiges disappearing and the mood gets more and more desperate. eventually we’re down to just Kudou and Yoichi. Deku is panicking, but for some reason Kudou seems even MORE panicked

Kudou/Gearshift eventually gets stolen too, and it looks like this might finally be it for Deku (I have no idea how he’d stop Tomura from Decaying the ground once Blackwhip gets stolen, btw, but maybe Katsuki or someone else interferes in desperation towards the end). but just when it looks like Tomura is finally going to take the last piece of OFA, Deku’s vibes suddenly do a 180, stopping Tomura in his tracks

cut to the OFA Moon Gorgeous Meditation Realm, where Deku and Yoichi are staring at the door -- yes, that door -- in shock. because it’s finally been opened (now that the other Vestiges are no longer there to keep it at bay). and just like that, enter AFO, for the THIRD FUCKING TIME :D :D

tl;dr, HERE’S HOW HORCRUX!DEKU CAN STILL HAPPEN!!! wait where are you all going. wait come back

anyway so wow that was a really bizarre chapter that I truly thoroughly enjoyed, which should probably be a bit concerning. on to the next two week break! (for anyone who’s not aware, Shounen Jump will be on break next week, so yeah.) I’m on chapter 391 now. so close but still so far. the end of the year has gone by too damn fast tbh