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chelleztjs18 · 7 months

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Ten Days (W.M) Pt. 5

Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader

Pairing: Wanda Maximoff x Fem!Reader (Modern AU)

Summary: Y/n and Wanda is stuck in an arranged marriage. What will happen when both of them have their own deals to be done in ten days?

Warning: 18+ SMUT, swearing words, fluff, angsts (specific warning for each parts)

A/n: Well, hey there! I'm back with this series after a while. This chapter is a Valentine's gift for my sweet, Curious George anon. This is a miniseries fic that's inspired by "How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days" romcom. If you haven't read this series before, I recommend to read from part 1. (Series masterlist below) Happy reading!

Series Masterlist || Main Masterlist

The rain is pouring. Thunders and lighting sometimes take turns to show their existence. You went straight to Wanda’s house after you spent some time with Yelena and Nat at your place to talk about the plans you have in mind.

Wanda’s heart skips a beat and her face instantly patches a smile as soon as she hears her doorbells. She rushes her steps to the door. Wanda has been waiting for you to come and she greets you with an excited smile.

“Finally! My pretty future wife—” but her smile turns to a little frown and her flirtatious words stop abruptly after she sees you soaking wet and your shoes are covered with mud.

“Hi babe!” Without giving her a chance to avoid it, you hug Wanda quickly and her clothes get a little wet from your drenched clothes. “Oh, hi wife. Why are you soaking wet and covered in mud?” she asked.

“Babe, I'm cold. Can I come in?”

“Uh y-yeah but your–your sh–.” Wanda hesitantly responds but you interrupt her by just walking into her house, leaving traces of mud and trails of dripping water all over the clean white floor.

“My what?” you play dumb. You know Wanda is internally freaking out about the mud and the water, so you walk around more. You try to look confused as you take off your jacket.

“Y-your muddy shoes. You know what darling, it’s okay. I will ask the maid to clean it.” Wanda put on a smile while trying to keep herself together to not tell you to stop walking around spreading more abstract muddy patterns.

“Oh okay, uh where should I put this wet jacket babe? Can I just put it on the couch? I forget where the bathroom is.” You walk around in a random path before you walk closer to the white fancy expensive couch in the living room.

“Gaah, NO..No..No..No..” Wanda’s loud spontaneous NO stops your move. Good thing that Wanda is behind you and can’t see your face, you almost laugh.

Wanda chuckles awkwardly, putting a forced smile and quickly grabbing yet gently the wet jacket off your hand. She realized her reaction was a bit much but she couldn't help it. Wanda loves everything clean and spotless.

“Y/n sweetheart, uh let me take this from you and how about you take off those pretty shoes now so i can put it outside, okay?” Wanda crouches and helps you take them off. You smile, thinking how sweet she is and you feel bad but the plan must go on.

“What? You will put my shoes outside? They're expensive shoes. What if it ruins it or someone takes it?” You whine as needy as you can to annoy her.

“I know, darling. I can see that. I’ll get you a new one, okay?” she responds as she stands up, holding your dirty shoes.

“Really? You gonna get me a new one? They have some new arrivals, you're gonna get them for me too?” you try to act like materialistic girls to make her lose interest in you.

“Yes, princess.” She answers with a smile. “I would rather pay for new expensive shoes than getting my floor all dirty.” Wanda mumbles, under her breath as she turns around.

“What did you say, Wands?”

“Oh nothing. I said anything for my future wife. Just-just please stay there, y/n.” Wanda patches another awkward smile, hoping you didn’t hear what she said earlier. “Okay..okay..” You agreed in more whiny tones.

“So what happened to you on the way here?” Wanda asks as she does what she needs to do to your jacket and shoes.

“I got a flat tire, so I gotta change it.” you explained. Little does Wanda know, nothing happened. You intentionally stopped at random dirt roads nearby just enough so the rain got you wet and got you as dirty as you can.

Wanda comes back to you, stands so close and it gives you giddy feelings. “Aw, you could’ve called me, love. I would’ve helped you. Next time, if you need anything, just call me, okay?” She pushes aside your hair gently to see your face that she genuinely adores. Then her hand cups your cheek, followed by soft rubs from her thumb on it. Her smile shows automatically whenever she sees you.

Gosh, her green eyes. There is something about them that draws you. You don’t know what it is but oh well, you think it’s probably nothing. Maybe it’s just the color. You clear your throat to prevent yourself from getting lost in those charming eyes.

“Uh, Wands? I’m cold.”

Wanda quickly gets back from the trance. Both of you look a little awkward.

“Huh? Oh yeah, yeah. I apologized, my dear. You need to shower and change clothes. The guest bathroom–”

“No, your bathroom. I don’t want to use the guest bathroom, am i still just a guest for you babe? So much for being your future wife.” you roll your eyes, showing her your pretend unamused expression.

“Uh right, right. Well, okay then. You can go to my room and use my bathroom and wear my clothes after that.”

“Sounds good. I just want cozy clothes since we are relaxing.” you demand one more time.

“Coming right up.” Wanda smiles as soon as she sees your smile.

_____

You turned on the shower to trick Wanda that you are taking a shower while you move on to the next plan.

You took out some fake pieces of hair and spread it in the bathroom floor, bathroom sink and even in the shower to leave some fake trails of your hair falls.

Thanks to Yelena’s interest in pranking others, she lets you borrow her things. You wonder what other things you can use for the plan. You take them out from your purse quietly and you read what’s written on it. Fart Cushion and Fart Spray, you shake your head a little, trying to figure out when and how these two things will work.

Then you hear Wanda is saying something from the other side of the door. “Y/n, I got the towel and clothes for you. Do you want me to put the towel in the bathroom and leave the clothes in my bed, darling? Then I’ll wait for you downstairs.”

An idea pops up in your mind right away and you want to laugh as soon as you figure out that now is the perfect time to use these two things.

“Can you wait for me until I’m done please babe? I don’t want you to be far away from me, I miss you. I’ll tell you when I’m done. You don’t miss me?” you try to sound needy and irrationally clingy.

“Wait, what? Of course I miss you. Can’t I just wait downstairs?” Wanda responds. She likes knowing you slowly got hooked into her plan deeper. Wanda never likes clingy girls but she knows better to shrug it off for the sake of her plan.

“No, I want you to be near me. Just wait there.” you pretend to be more demanding.

Wanda takes a little deep breath and agrees. “O–okay, I’ll be here.” as she sits on her bed.

While Wanda is waiting patiently in the room with some clothes and a towel for you, all of a sudden she hears something unexpectedly. Unbeknownst to her, you squeeze the cushion. Wanda was shocked with the loud sound, thinking it was from you passing some gas in the bathroom. Her eyes round up. “Oops, excuse me babe!” you said as you tried not to laugh.

“It’s okay. I didn’t hear anything, love.” Wanda tries to let her mind about it pass over her head and another same loud noise breaks out of the bathroom. “Oh my gosh.” she mumbles to herself in surprise.

“Ooops, I’m sorry.” Once again you express your fake apology. You didn’t hear anything from Wanda.

“Wands, are you still there?”

Hearing your voice looking for her, Wanda quickly gets off her bed and gets to the door. “Uh yes, I’m still here. Do you need anything?” she asks from behind the door.

You squeeze some sprays out of the bottle and to your surprise, it really stinks. It’s worse than a flatulence usually smells.“Yeah, I’m almost done. Gonna need the towel soon.” you answer as you try to hold a gag while covering your nose from the smell. You quietly dry heave in between walking back to the shower, pretending to continue your shower.

“Oh okay. I have your towel here.” Wanda signals you.

“You can come in. It’s unlocked.” You informed.

“Are you sure?” Wanda hesitantly asks.

“Yeah, I’m sure.”

You heard Wanda open the door and walk in. Wanda caught off guard by a blow of soft air mixed with the smell from the spray. She vaguely scrunches her nose as the stinky aroma intrudes her senses. Her eyes rounded once more but she tried not to react to it.

“Pffftt.. What did you eat?” Wanda mumbles. You pretend you didn’t hear it clearly. “Did you say something babe?”

“Oh? Nothing. Here you go, love. I’ll just hang it here.” Wanda is having a hard time talking while holding her breath at the same time.

You notice her being respectful and trying not to look at you but you want her to walk to you so she will notice more the smells in the bathroom. “Babe, can you bring it here please?”

“Oh okay.” She agrees half heartedly, all she wants right now is to walk out of that trapped air that bothers her nose.

She hands you the towel and her eyes give up the effort to not look at you. She sees the silhouette of your body through the opaque glass shower door. Her brain seems to forget the smells around her for a few seconds until she hears your voice and feels your hand gently tucks the towel that she still holds in her hand.

“Oh. Uh, I’m sorry. Here you go.” You smile at her when she finally lets go of the towel. Unfortunately, the nose smells the smell again and Wanda clears her throat but being the caring person she is, she asks you.

“Are you okay, love? Is your tummy upset?” as much as Wanda cares about you but she instantly regrets her question.

“No, I’m okay. What? Wait, are you saying that my gas smells?! That’s just how it usually smells.” you pretend to freak out as you walk out of the shower wrapped in a towel.

“Uh oh. No, no. I didn’t say that. Uh–the reason I asked is because I care. That’s all.” Wanda starts to panic.

You start your pretend cry and whine, you cover your face. “It’s embarrassing. If you can’t handle it, how are you gonna be married to me?”

Wanda quickly feels bad but at the same time she doesn’t want you to walk away and lose the bet either. “Aw sweetheart, that’s not true. Don’t worry.” She hugs you even though it’s getting harder for her not to take a deep breath so she won’t inhale any more uncomfortable scents.

You feel the softness of Wanda’s hands rub the skin of your back and you actually love it. What is it with Wanda’s hug? Why do you feel so comfortable in it? What’s wrong with you right now? Oh geez, as much as you want to stay longer in her embrace, unfortunately you have to get away from it before it’s getting harder to be out of her arms. You nod.

“Okay, good girl. Now, why don’t you put on some clothes so we can have our date today, yeah?” Wanda kisses the top of your head. Oh goodness gracious, her tone and the way she calls you a good girl sends something to your brain and body that you can’t explain. You never feel something like it but you try to shrug it off and think maybe it was just because the first time a woman ever called you that. It’s nothing biggie.

You pull yourself away a little from her hugs. “Okay, Wands. I’ll see you downstairs.” You smiled. As soon as Wanda walks out of the bathroom and closes the door, she quickly inhales fresh air as if her life depends on it. She exhales a relief, shakes her head after what just happened.

_____

You can see Wanda is sitting on the couch in the living room as you walk towards her. The fireplace is on, some pretty fancy snacks with a bottle of red wine complete with two glasses are waiting for you as well. Soft lights around and the soothing rain drops outside offer a very comfy vibes. As always Wanda can’t help herself to smile when she sees you, everytime she sees you she feels a very comfortable feeling that she never feels from other girls she has been with but of course Wanda tries not to acknowledge that feeling. Wanda thought maybe the smile she has when she sees you was all because she knows she would win this bet.

“Well hello there, princess. Look how cute you are with my shirt and shorts. Come here, everything’s ready for you. You just need to pick which movie or sitcom we should watch.” she gently pats the empty spots next to her.

You are really impressed with everything that Wanda has prepared. It’s everything that you like. You always would rather have this kind of date than going anywhere fancy. You sit next to her and pick something to watch.

“Wow, this is nice, babe. So fancy but you pulled this off so easily.” you commented.

“Well, anything for the special woman.” Wanda starts her flirtatious strategy. She looks into your eyes and oh that smile again, it makes you almost forget to get the plan going.

“Special huh? Well, I don’t think I feel special enough yet. I’m sure you could plan something more especially if you make your future wife get out of her busy work schedule today to be with you.” you smirk as you tell her your needy demand in a teasing way, totally opposite than what you actually think. You actually love it but right now all you can do is hoping Wanda would think that you are ungrateful and unappreciative.

Wanda doesn’t like demanding women. Independent women always catch her attention, unfortunately she hasn’t met one. Wanda tries to ignore how demanding you are right now, all to win the bet.

“Oh? You are special. I know you would like this. Are you playing hard to get, sweetheart? Hmm?” Wanda’s face gets closer and closer to you. Your heart gradually starts to race. You try to keep your focus with you while trying to get back to this banter.

“Playing hard to get? I’m not. I think you just can’t handle me. I set my bar high and you should be able to reach it if you want to marry me.” You tease her back and you didn’t realize your face gets closer to hers too.

“There you go, my sweet straightforward lady. So you are on board with our arranged marriage then? That's good news.” Wanda gives you a come back with your own remark that you have said to her a few days ago.

“Like I said, maybe yes, maybe no.” you answered and your gaze was glued to her. This time Wanda only chuckles followed with a confident smile, thinking that she still has her fingers wrapped around you and her plan slowly working better.

Before you two know it, your face and Wanda’s are merely an inch. You look at her lips, so does Wanda at yours. You quickly bring yourself together and pull back a little. You clear your throat. “Uh- Why don’t we try this red wine you got here?”

“Oh yeah, yeah. Sorry, we wouldn’t want this great wine waiting.” Wanda awkwardly agrees and pours some in both glasses. A little thought pops in her mind thinking about another almost kiss moment that breaks her own “no kiss” rule but of course she convinces herself it was part of the plan.

WIth that, the date starts. Sometimes both of you talk about random things or anything about each other. You try to be as messy as you can by dropping some crumbs or food. You try to swing your hand that holds the glass of wine while you are talking with her to drive Wanda crazy from the thought of you spilling it on the couch or the rug. It’s quite comical for you to see how she tries to subtly to avoid that to happen and not to offend you at the same time from doing so. Another meltdown from you is the last thing Wanda wants on tonight's date. She wants to leave much much better impressions on you. Part of you think she looks cute and adorable.

You can’t lie to yourself, you are actually having a great time with Wanda. Maybe Wanda isn’t that bad? Oh no, no, no. You and Wanda are buzzed after sharing a bottle of wine and opening another one. That’s all. She is not your type, well a little but no. You have to be all cringey, annoying and unbearable to her.

You subtly try to look around, figuring out what you can do. Suddenly, an improvised wild idea came up in your mind. Part of you is hesitant to do it but after a rapid debate internally, your mind says fuck it.

You gotta do what you gotta do. This is all part of the plan, that’s what you tell yourself.

Wanda was very surprised with your sudden move. You instantaneously move on to her and straddle her lap then kiss her. The Sokovian brunette was caught off guard, kissing you back yet thoughts bouncing around her head. What’s going on here? Both of you let out a soft hum, feeling your bodies melt perfectly to each other. She lays her hands gently on your back and mindlessly pulls you to lean closer to her.

In between kisses, Wanda tries to tell you her thoughts with a soft whisper. “Y/n..sweetheart.” your lips catch hers again as you respond “Hm?”

Again, Wanda tries to break the kiss and speaks. “Are you sure about this? I think you are drunk.” Well, her ego would really love this, thinking that she is really much much closer to her victory on her bet with Kate. As much as she loves the feelings of your lips on her, she respects you.

“Yeah, I’m sure. Are you okay with it?.” You answered as you back out a little, deep down a little panic if you took this plan too far. Wanda looks at you and smiles. “Why wouldn’t I be okay, gorgeous?” She asks lovingly and just like that you turn to the only exception from her no kiss rule. Her hands gently cup your face. My oh my, you are lost in her ethereal eyes. Not to mention her touch. Wait, wait. Are you and Wanda having a moment here? Or perhaps we can say another moment that really you can’t explain. That was not butterflies in your stomach right now. The warmth in your heart (no, scratch that), you meant the warmth in your chest is really just because of the wine. Yes, yes, it is the wine. Not because of the kiss nor Wanda. Hell, it’s not because of the moment right now.

Wanda pulls you back into kiss, in her defense, it’s to pull you deeper in her plan. Not because she wants to or likes it.

Shortly after you remind yourself to move forward to your plan, you kiss her neck and reach to unbutton her pajamas. One by one. Wanda always loves to be in control, including in this kind of situation. You know that. Even if it has been only a few days of knowing her, you can read that. That’s why you are doing what you are doing, showing that you will be the type of wife who wears the pants in the relationship.

You are sure a needy, controlling, demanding, and clingy plus “crazy” woman is the whole package that definitely scares Wanda away in no time.

You smirk and look at her in her sports bra. Here goes nothing, your mind said.

You kiss her collar bones and as soon as your kisses reach her breasts, you do something that launches Wanda into a bigger surprise, not in a good way.

“Aaaawwwwww, look at them. Pretty twins.” You start to baby talk as your hands cup both of her breasts.

Wanda’s closed eyes open abruptly. “Wait, what?” She looks down at you very confused.

“Yeah pretty twins. I shall name you Roni!” you exclaim in more baby talk then kiss her left breast. Before Wanda can ask even further, you move on to the right breast and do the same thing as you say “And I shall name you Ami.” you give more ridiculously loud kisses.

“R-roni?? Ami?? Hold on, hold on. Y/n, my dear. Did you just– Did you just name my breasts??” Wanda looks so baffled. Trying to figure out what really is going on.

“Mmhmm. Why? You don’t like it?” You answered in a fake innocent face and pout.

“No, no. Uh I–I do. It’s cute, really, but uh, don’t you think it’s a bit a mood killer?” Wanda carefully crafts her words and then smiles awkwardly.

“Mood killer?? What do you mean? That’s rude, I was being romantic and sexy with you in our sexy time.” you retort while actually you really want to laugh. You are having fun seeing Wanda’s reaction.

“I know. I know, but naming my breast and baby talk to them? Where in the world did you get the name ideas anyway??” You can see from her face that what you just did really cringes her.

“It’s from my favorite luncheon meat, Roni is short for pepperoni and Ami is short for Salami.” You are really proud of yourself for coming up with this idea and can’t wait to tell Natasha and Yelena about it.

“Oh God. Pep–pepperoni? Salami? But you are vegan, Y/n?!Few days ago you cried because of the meat I cooked for dinner and now you name my breasts with meat names?” Wanda rambles, frustration starts to show bit by bit.

“Then you would prefer Melonie and Coco? You know, because of the perfect round shape and size.” You nonchalantly offer her different name ideas and explain them with a little shrug. Right now you are trying to look innocent. A stark difference from how you were earlier as if you have different personalities.

Of course, it lures out more of Wanda’s reaction. “What? MELON and COCONUT?? Mine are not ridiculously big like them.” Wanda argues. Shade of red blush covers her cheeks as she crosses both of her palms to cover her breasts in such embarrassment and disagreement.

“Aaaaww. Okay okay. What about Squashy and Squishy, then? Squashy, because squash is my favorite vegetable and Squishy because yours are squishy.” you are back to baby talk and your hands playfully cups Wanda’s breasts.

Wanda looks at you in disbelief at what you just said and she lays her head back on the couch as her right fingers massage the bridge of her nose. “Aaaand it died. It just died.” Said Wanda referring to her mood on the “sexy time” with you

“What? What died, babe?” You play dumb with your question. You know what she meant.

“Uh, nothing. Y/n, how about we call it a night, yeah? I’m tired, I got pretty buzzed earlier. I have things to do at the office tomorrow too.” Luckily, your plan works and you are glad that you can finally go home.

“Really? That’s all the date you said you prepared so special for me? Okay. I guess, I’m gonna go home then.” You pretend to look upset and disappointed.

“Oh no, no. You are not driving home now, sweetheart. It’s late now. You are drunk, it’s still pouring rain outside and you got a car problem earlier. So stay the night here please. I’ll ask the maid to get the guest room ready for you.” Wanda leaves you no room to refuse but you have to get out of here. Once again, you have to think quickly how to refuse her.

“Guest room? Really? Me, your future wife, sleeps in the guest room. That’s upsetting. I’m just gonna go home.” You pretend to cry for no reason and you quickly get off her lap so you can get ready to leave.

Her gaze follows where you walk to the door. “Where else are you supposed to sl—?” she halts her words when she realizes why you are leaving so upset. Wanda can’t let you leave upset from the date, it’s too risky for her.

She gets up quickly and tries to stop you. “Okay, okay. You can sleep in my room, on my bed..with me. Yeah? Sounds good? Yes yes, sounds much better than driving drunk in the rain. I won’t let anything happen to my woman.” Wanda agrees and gives full effort to make you stay.

You have no other excuse to leave so like it or not, you stay. You are just surprised with how determined Wanda is. On second thought, you think that she is right. It might be safer to stay the night.

_____

“Oookay, the bed is ready for you, love. You’ll sleep on the left side and I’ll sleep on the right side. Here’s your pillow and I have another blanket here if you need it. I’m going to brush my teeth right now and get ready for bed.” Wanda tells you as she just got done preparing the bed for you.

You wanted to be needier and make the sleeping side of the bed a big deal but you are thinking you don’t want to look that bad in front of Wanda. Wait, what’s wrong with you? That’s the goal of this whole plan. Why would you even think that way? Okay, maybe you just want to be annoying in a more logical way. Yeah that’s probably it.

You lay on your side, on the bed. Letting your back facing Wanda. Trying not to sleep too close with her when she comes back.

While you are trying to get comfy in bed, you hear Wanda from the bathroom.

Wanda is freaking out about what she discovers as soon as she gets to the bathroom. For a clean freak like her, it looks like a horror for her. Your wet dirty clothes are on the floor, your “hair” is on the floor, on the bathroom sink and even stick on the shower glass door.

Your plan definitely works because you heard her muffled voice in the bathroom freaking out saying “Oh no..no..no.. Oh Lord. Why is it so messy? Who lives like this? Calm down, Wanda. It’s nothing big.”

You laugh silently but as soon as you hear her walk out of the bathroom, you pretend to sleep. You heard her taking a deep breath to calm herself down.

Wanda finally lays down on the bed. “Good night, Y/n.” she gently says it but no answer from you so she assumes that you are asleep. You hear her whisper to herself. “What a night.”

You can’t really sleep but you pretend every now and then to snore loudly and make weird noises while you are “sleeping”. You toss and turn as well just so it will seem like it’s hell to sleep with you.

It was hard for Wanda to fall asleep because of what you are doing. She couldn’t believe how loud you snored but eventually both of you finally fell asleep.

Pt. 6

A/n: Welp, thats it for today! Reblogs and comments are highly appreciated. Follow me for more and see you in next!

Cheerio!

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thousandyearphantombunker · 6 months

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What the hell did people want Steven to do? Kill the diamonds? Yeah sure bro that's a great idea hey um what happens after he kills the pseudo religious being of godlike power? The issues on home world are systemic and run deep killing the diamonds would be horrible idea- yes they are dictators but you can't fix the issues fascism causes by just killing the leader and in some cases you make everything worse, i might not buy whites redemption (she went from genuinely terrifying matriarch and cruel to a blushy 'i must atone mess?) but steven was not a selfish idiot who forgives other people's abusers on their behalf, if another war started earth would be screwed, the solution to the problem wasn't as simple as kill the bad guy- to everyone who complains that diamonds will just start killing again- steven is taking active effort to make sure that never happens! I get why people are angry the diamonds get away with abusing pink, being dictators and still have power in home world- it feels like a major injustice but the bigger picture flat out shows that steven isn't being selfish for maintaining his moral purity (and even if he was I would defend him, the same way i do with aang and batman). While I have my complaints about the ending (mainly how white diamond was written) and hate how pink went from morally grey/questionable to evil hate sink, the fact that the secondary crystal gems, and lars and the off colors were basically irrelevant in the finale, but I will fight anyone who says the only way to solve complicated issues in the world is to 'kill the bad guys!' and that when fighting against racism or abusers or fascists etc the only correct way to deal with the problem is kill the people who are racist or abusive or fascist- some of you people are so focused on 'justice' or 'fairness' that you neglect everything's else like if I applied your logic to the real world we could just forget things like protecting basic rights or fixing systemic elements of social injustice etc, I genuinely hate the diamonds (especially white) and the og shows finale as a whole but steven is not an abuse apologist- he's a diplomat who uses violence as a last resort, there is a ton of other issues with su but God can we look at the ending with nuance? It sucked ass with the pacing and the fusion designs were pretty bad but it wasn't endorsing abuse apologism- Steven was focused on the bigger picture while I have my issues with him as a character sometimes I can say he was being noble here and was not a whiny piss baby, pussyfooting around something he 'needed' to do. The show was never about good killing evil and our 'moral duty' to do so, it was a show with anti war messages with a few botched aesops and wonky art, there's actual shit to complain about with steven universe but Everytime I hear all the comments about how toh made up for steven universe's sins or about how batman and aang are selfish etc it drives me insane,like I could point out so many unfortunate implications in su that are actually bad but y'all focus on the least problematic shit in the show and accuse of Rebecca Sugar a bisexual jew married to a black man of being a nazi apologist! You claim toh made up for the sins of Steven universe and laugh at the 'jab' the show made at Steven universe but there's a few things that don't hold up Dana is friends with Sugar (it is definitely not a jab) and the shows while they have similarities should not be compared, they are fundamentally different shows, like the stuff they do have in common (developing several characters that end up having no real effect on the finale or plot, badly written main antagonists etc) still don't justify the comparison yes they are filled to the brim with lgbt characters and are fantasy shows but one is magical girl/boy space opera about self love the other is a dark fantasy comedy that is about inclusion and coping with disabilities/trauma and while they have overlap they are not the same.

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thewriterowl · 2 years

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who is the best written character in star wars?

Oh man...I am going to be bias and say #1 is Luke Skywalker--BUT I do feel like there are good reasons for him to be in this slot.

I have a Masters in Creative Writing, I have taken a lot of writing courses and read a lot of stuff, I used to be super into anime and fantasy fiction, I have gone through so many series with male main characters and let me tell you: Luke Skywalker is one of the best written male protagonists I have seen.

Does he need some work that is usually explored with more depth with Legends and fanfiction? Yes. But, the thing is, Luke just feels like an current anime protagonist but so much better.

He's kind. We do see this in a lot of other series but the kindness of these characters can fall more into the level of niceness...where it's all they are to separate them from others. Like they want to go down the Soft Boy Aesthetics but can't quite commit or can't then give them any more personality than that other than carbon copying the characteristics from the other characters similar to them. But Luke is truly kind. It is a foundation of his self but it is not his only quality nor is it just being nice. His movements, even the mistakes, can come from a sense of trying to help others.

Luke is punished for his mistakes. Luke has consequences. Luke will do things he thinks is for the right cause but was actually because he wanted to be a hero. He does things wrong. Unlike so many others who make "cute" mistakes or are just wrapped up in someone else doing something more "ugly", Luke actually does things impulsively and wrong and it hurts him (nearly hurting others). He realizes it and learns from it and does his best to become better for it.

He has a well balanced dark side and flaws. He has a bit of a temper, he can be whiny, he can be emotionally clumsy, he is impulsive, he needs to be a hero, he needs to be in the action, he thinks himself better than others at times and knows more...you don't always see these things in heroes. They're given "nice" flaws or weaknesses to try and make sure nothing about them is truly upsetting or their flaws are presented as funny. Or they are just made to be physically weak or they cry. They just fall flat to me. Luke can be a mess who truly matures and learns.

He is "feminine". 100% Luke is not a masculine male lead. In a series that is fantasy/SCI-FI/western that is so odd. He is pretty looking, he is small, he wears softer clothing, he needs rescued a lot, he smiles and laughs and comes off more grumpy and huffy than intimidating (for the first two episodes at least). This is not a standard high masculine hero we can see...really up until the last few years. For him to be provided in the 70s/80s right before the 90s and 2000s era of masculine heroes, that is a choice I love.

He doesn't get the girl. He can be read as gay/bi/ace. He appears romantic on a level but it is not his pursuit in life. He is just this guy who wants to have purpose and friends and a family and adventure. I like how he finds reward and completion through that, rather than getting a romantic partner he scoops up and kisses at the end. From where we see him in the OT-movies, he is happy having his family and we never feel like he needs to be rewarded a girlfriend for what he has done.

He didn't save the galaxy in a fight! He didn't kill the bad guy! He was built up to be the hero and he doesn't do it. He is not the one to take the bad-guy down. His sister and friend destroy the shields in a big fight, another friend leads the charge and takes the final shot on the ultimate weapon, and Vader is the one who kills Palpatine. Luke doesn't. He is does not save the day in a typical fashion. He saves it by how he has saved and supported others. By putting faith in people he loves. By forgiving a monster and loving him. That is gorgeous to me.

Back to kindness--Luke isn't just kind naturally. The man makes deliberate choices throughout his life. He is tempted by the dark side. He has real human reaction and emotions. He knows what is easier and he could do what most everyone does (in the series and what people do today and now) but instead he always makes a choice to be kind. He is deliberately doing it. "Because you asked." He has said. He wants to be like this so he chooses to be like it. It takes hard work and dedication to be more than nice and just be a bare minimum of kind. Luke is so much more than that.

So yeah, I could probably write a whole paper on him--but these are some of the reasons I find him as one of the better written characters. Anakin and Obi-Wan are close seconds tho!

And man, was it hard not to say names of the anime-guys i was thinking off and wanted to shred XD

#owl inbox #luke skywalker

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ultraericthered · 2 years

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Anime Update V2 19

Noragami Aragoto - Halfway through the season with the last two episodes of the Bishamon arc. I felt so terrible for Bishamon here and while at first I wanted Kazuma to face heavier consequences for the trauma he’d caused her in the past, having to live with his mistakes and atone for them is the better option. And I got soooo much satisfaction out of how things with Kuguha played out. Like Unalaq from The Legend of Korra, his compensation for being such an incredibly boring and unpopular antagonist is being so utterly loathsome, like somewhere between Tonpa from Hunter x Hunter (1999) and Takaoka from Assassination Classroom level of loathing. So watching him just lose his composure, throw a big tantrum like a whiny, attention-deprived child, and get forcibly cast out of his Regalia status as he’s screaming for mercy was cathartic as hell. While all seems well for not just Bishamon and her remaining Regalia family, but our main trio of Yato, Yukine, and Hiyori (who lived through this, thank God!), Nora answering a call from her father means that she’s far from done creating trouble for them to deal with.

Hunter x Hunter - Watched the final phase of the Hunter Exam to its (seeming) conclusion in both adaptations.

1999 - I thought the way things were depicted here were far less effective compared to the 2011 anime. Killua stating his one desire is to be friends with Gon is meant to reveal the sincerity of how he feels about Gon, but this anime already had him reveal that in the interview with Netero so this now has much less of an impact, not to mention he and Gon’s friendship feels a little understated in this version to start with. There is then a pointless skirmish between Gon and Illumi, followed by an equally pointless fake-out of Gon, Leorio. and Kurapika having to separate, which just felt like a time waster.

2011 - Thankfully those pitfalls were avoided in this adaptation. Moving the part where Satotz remarks that the true final phase of the Hunter Exam isn’t quite over yet to the very last scene was a great call, and Hisoka talking to Illumi about waiting “for the fruits to ripen” (in reference to Gon and Killua) was disturbing and scary as fuck here! If I’ve got one criticism, it’s with the dub, as I feel like Chris Hackney was rather miscast as Illumi’s voice. The voice he has in the Blue Water dub of the 1999 anime fits the character far better.

Fruits Basket - 2022 is halfway over and the characters in this series are already celebrating the coming of a New Year!

2001 - The first half of this episode was not particularly strong as yet again we’re treated to zany shennanigans around Shigure’s house that didn’t happen in the original manga. Most of it wasn’t that funny and I just felt bad for poor Mitsuru by the end. When the second half actually got to telling the proper story, it got much better, even though some of the stylistic and tonal choices admitedly still felt off at points.

2019 - Much improved all around, but one part did raise an issue - Yuki and Kyo not looking forward to meeting with Akito and Kagura respectively at the Sohma Family New Years gathering was brought up quite a bit, like those two are the abusive family members the two boys are most wanting to avoid. But the equivalence falls flat when you remember that Akito exploding with rage, screaming and lashing out with violence at their loved ones is played dead seriously while Kagura behaving the exact same way was played for laughs! It just reinforces what a disaster the writing for Kagura is, and we can’t even say this is a double standard based on “girls abusing guys is funny, but guys abusing girls and other guys isn’t” ‘cause, spoiler alert, Akito isn’t a guy! So it’s just an all around failure in the writing.

Rozen Maiden - The two episodes about Suiseiseki’s twin sister and the old man she lives with and how he’s slipped into madness due to the tragic loss of his son and his wife being comatose were, as can be inferred by just that description, the heaviest that this show has gotten to date in terms of how fucking sad that story is, and if that really was the boy’s ghost inside the mother’s dreamscape then that makes it all the heavier. Suiseiseki’s whining at Souseiseki got a bit old, but I like that they both have a new home and family now.

Fate/Stay Night - Gilgamesh got dealt with rather anticlimactically by Shirou and Saber’s combined power, so of course he’s not done yet and we’re going to have to face him at his full power later. But far more distressingly than that? At the very end of the episode, Shirou comes upon some dark secrets being kept by Kirei at his church.

Revolutionary Girl Utena - That Wakaba and Saionji episode, and their whole relationship, didn’t go the way I’d expected. While Saionji isn’t a total sociopath like Touga and is more capable of sincerity and decency regarding how he feels, his narcissism and constant want for status that matters and could take him out of Touga’s shadow made giving into temptation too easy for him when Mikage gets his expulsion reversed, at which point he totally disregards Wakaba again and leaves her feeling like nothing special. Poor Wakaba!

Love Live! Nijigasaki School Idol Club S2 - This second season continues to be a glowing step up from the first in its next two episodes, with Lanzhu reaffirming her stance on performing solo and being the center of attention, finding out more about Mia regarding her background and relationship with Lanzhu, Yu struggling with her composition assignment, and the total delight of Kasumi, Kanata, Emma and Rina stalking Lanzhu throughout a daily routine. The second episode also did something no previous Love Live! anime did by actually incorporating a “subunit” group into the show itself, as the four girls I mentioned there form Q4RTZ and make their big debut. The show is even starting to sound more like Love Live! than before. The opening song, Lanzhu’s songs, and Q4RTZ songs - all bangers!

MAR - Jack’s first fight in the War Games took an incredibly mean-spirited turn. All the demonstration of how strong he’s gotten and how well he can hold his own in a fight even when at a disadvantage, while his mother, the now reformed Rougilo brothers, and this mysterious delivery man are watching from back at Jack’s farm home, only for a single wrong move to turn it into a humiliating loss for Jack as he’s mistaken for being a no good pervert! Felt real bad for him, but I do have to give Pano props for her quick thinking there.

AMC: Gintama - 3 episodes of this show this time, one where Odd Jobs met the Gendo Ikari-looking government guy and had to retrieve and then kill the pet octopus of an alien prince, one where the Chief of the Shinsengumi doggedly pursues Shinpachi’s sister until Gin beats him in a fight all while the rest of the Shinsengumi’s exploits are being followed documentary style, and the last being sort of an immediate followup where Gin does battle with Vice Chief Hijikata when he comes after him during a job. Still such an insanely fun cartoon, and from all I’ve heard it can only keep getting better.

AND

Belle - This movie came out last year and now I finally got to see it. It drew me in with Suzu’s personal story and how she channeled all of her painful emotions over the tragic loss of her mother and her desire to sing into the online virtual metaverse of U and then totally changed gears from anywhere I’d been expecting that story to go by turning into a modern day Beauty & The Beast retelling. Honestly, I didn’t really get that into U itself, it’s kind of an eyesore at points, so playing out a compelling enough story with it definitely helped to keep me engaged. The biggest point of contention for me is that like Weathering With You, this is a movie that sort of falls apart in its final act. The idea that damn near the entire world, online AND offline, had gone bonkers over the mystery of the Beast’s true identity, the unfortunate implications behind who the Beast really is and why he is the Beast, and the sheer amount of narrative contrivances that even launch the story into a second climax right after a legit phenomenal sequence that seemed like the big climax already, broke a good deal of my immersion in the film and made me ready to see it just end already. But admittedly, the overall film and the high points it hit even in that final third were beautiful, and well worth the watch.

#Anime Update #Anime Update V2

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takaraphoenix · 2 years

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how about buffy?

Thanks for playing! <3 send me a fandom and i’ll tell you…

the first character i ever fell in love with: probably Willow? I started watching this show during season 4's first airing, when Willow and Tara were just falling for each other so Willow was one of the first lesbians I've ever seen on screen? Plus witch??

a character that i used to love/like, but now do not: mh, maybe Angel? I used to be on board with his whole shtick a lot, saw him as a tragic figure, but the older I got the more critical I got of his own decision making that brought him to that point and how he dealt with all of it

a ship that i used to love/like, but now do not: Angel and Buffy, for the above mentioned reasons too. It was easy to romanticize when you're Buffy's age back then but the older I got

my ultimate favorite character™: Buffy Anne Summers. I love Spike, love him a lot, but Buffy really is just... the best? I love her so much, she is so complex, even as the hero she gets to be flawed and struggle and stumble

prettiest character: well that's harder to answer, there are many pretty characters on this show? I guess Spike

my most hated character: Riley. little bitch

my OTP: Spike/Buffy!! *^*

my NOTP: Riley/Buffy if we're going by canon ships, but non-canon I've seen people ship Willow the lesbian with Spike and Angel, even with both, and just... no...

favorite episode: Once More, With Feeling, for sure. It is uplifting, the music is great, I love it

saddest death: Joyce I mean wow that whole episode. I love how her death is really processed. It's not just... dead, move on, the way other characters die, it really becomes the focus

favorite season: season 7, for sure!

least favorite season: season 4, ironically. But it's just... the villain plot falls apart - I know it's for real world reasons concerning the actress of the supposed main villain, but still. Also Riley. Just. Riley and the military, I hate the military so that also added to it. It's not all bad, obviously - domesticated Spike, my beloved, Tara/Willow, Anya - but it also has many bad things standing against those

character that everyone else in the fandom loves, but i hate: uuuhm not hate, but I dislike Dawn. I was genuinely surprised by how much Dawn defense is happening on tumblr? She is just... so flat. A bunch of teen girl cliches hiding in a trenchcoat, she barely got more characterization beyond the cliches. The sister of a Slayer had potential but it was wasted by mostly just letting her do Cliche Teen AngstTM? The whiny diary entries so far removed from actual reality, stealing for attention oh wow so original, crushing on her big sister's only guy friend, it's like... paint by numbers, nothing about her was written in a unique way that gave her a unique personality. I wish the writers had done more with her, given her more depth; seeing her have established friends, dynamics beyond the Scoobies, her own thing, and having actual serious conversations. Season 7 was when they actually started to try and give her more, have her meet people in high school now, but that's already the end of the show...

my ‘you’re piece of trash, but you’re still a fave’ fave: Spike? :D *thinking about him literally digging through trash <3*

my ‘beautiful cinnamon roll who deserves better than this’ fave: Tara Maclay, for sure ;^;

my ‘this ship is wrong, nasty, and makes me want to cleanse my soul, but i still love it’ ship: I don't have any ship I'd even categorize as "nasty" in this fandom, fact aside that I wouldn't classify any ship I actually ship as "makes me want to cleanse my soul"???

my ‘they’re kind of cute, and i lowkey ship them, but i’m not too invested’ ship: honestly I can't think of anything here, perhaps Giles/Joyce?

#Buffy the Vampire Slayer #Fandom Ask Game #send me asks

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thefinnionold · 3 years

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one of my biggest sources of dysphoria is my voice. especially my singing voice?

i want to sound like my favorite artists: dave grohl, billie joe armstrong, kurt cobain, etc.

but naturally, i can’t sing very low because i am assigned female at birth. ofc, this doesnt align with my current gender identity, and i feel rather uncomfortable with the parts of me that are more feminine.

what’s really wierd is i dont actually have dysphoria with my uh, body parts-

my chest is rather flat, which i still have dysphoria about.

but im fine with my curves and “feminine” face.

my main source of dysphoria is my hair (which is long, but idk how to cut it the way i want it) and my voice, which sounds more like some sort of opera singer than a punk-rocker.

so basically, i wouldn’t want to go on hormones, even if it would lower my voice, because i am comfortable with most of my body. but i still don’t want to live with this awful, whiny voice.

most people assume im a guy until i speak, which is nice, because i identify as nonbinary, and im much more comfortable with he/him than she/her, but it actually makes it harder for me to meet new people, because i dont want them to think that im a girl.

#dysphoria #transmasc #nonbinary #nonbinary struggles #voice dysphoria #afab enby #afab

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dragynkeep · 4 years

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Top 5 worst male characters and Top 5 worst female characters in RWBY, and brief reasons why?

This is the type of ask that’s gonna get me shit but I have known no hubris in my life so let’s go. These won’t be in the case of being intentionally bad, I’m doing more on personal taste and the quality of their writing.

Worst Male Characters

1. Adam Taurus

Obviously, Adam is at the top of the list for me. His storyline was butchered from a story of racism and vigilantism to a story about domestic abuse, his brand was cheap shock value with very little substance, he stopped being threatening after the Fall of Beacon and instead became a whiny little bitch, and his voice acting is just bad.

He sounds like he’s gonna call me a slur on Xbox Live.

2. Jacques Schnee

Yeah, the abusive rich man who runs slave mines is bad, but that’s not the main reason he’s on this list. I could accept a character like that if the writers made him good, but they didn’t. Jacques wasn’t intimidating at all. He wasn’t smart at all. The man who conned his father in law and wife into giving him complete control of the most powerful company in Remnant is not the same man we get in the actual show.

He’s whiny, cowardly, and a useless villain who’s entire downfall was treated like a poorly made joke, and now only serves as comic relief in the Jailbirds scenes in V8.

3. Hazel Rainart

Same issues with Jacques and Adam, but less egregious. Hazel was actually a pretty interesting villain in his earlier volumes, and even after his blunder at the Batlle of Haven, he went back to being kinda good in V6 with his protective behaviour towards Emerald. And then V8 came around and I grew to hate how stupid his reasons for joining Salem were, and the fact that he just beat the shit outta Oscar while whining about his dead sister.

Bro, Idgaf about someone I never met while you’re maiming a 15 year old boy because you wanna be mad at the guy in his head.

4. Qrow Branwen

It’s the same case with Hazel. I actually liked Qrow up until V6, and even then I cared enough to try and see where his alcoholism arc went since it’s a serious issue that affects not only my family, but my people. I started to dislike him after he punched Oscar and kept being horrible to the boy, all without apologising in the end, but v7 and 8 made me really hate him.

I don’t care for his edgy attitude, and I don’t care that he got his self-help book boyfriend murdered by a crackhead. Add onto CRWBY butchering a serious topic about alcoholism with him, and he’s just sank right down writing sense.

5. Ghira Belladonna

I never liked Ghira. I think the others are higher than him on this list just on the virtue that I liked them, or the idea of them, and the writing just pulled them down so much.

But I never had that problem with Ghira, so the disappointment doesn’t sting as bad. He’s just an unnecessary character that cheapens Blake since she’s now a princess, a useless father who somehow couldn’t get his own 12 year old daughter back even thought she didn’t even bother to change her own name, and then featured live on a tournament channel that the whole world saw. He was a useless leader, his ideology was stupid and almost got him and others killed, and he was so ungrateful towards Adam for saving his stupid furry ass that I completely sided with Sienna calling him the fuck out.

At least he’s not on my screen anymore, but I know that won’t last forever and I gotta look at his dumb face again.

Worst Female Characters

1. Cinder Fall

God, she is the worst villain and character in this show. She’s so flat, her stans are annoying as fuck, her voice leaves a lot to be desired, and the fact that there’s hardly anything to her for seven years makes it even worse now that we finally got a backstory for her, and it’s one we ALL GUESSED.

Who would’ve thought she’d be a Cinderella who killed her abusive family, I am shooketh.

2. Blake Belladonna

Blake was my favourite girl in RWBY and I’m mad at CRWBY for what they’ve done to her.

It says a lot that a girl still affected by the abuse and trauma of fighting in a terrorist organisation has more personality and backbone than one who’s supposedly broken free of her traumatic past and moved forward. Blake now is spineless, flat, boring ass cardboard cutout of what she once was, who would rather let her human friends defend her from racists than call them out herself like she did to Weiss in Volume 1.

She’s spoiled, priviledged, annoying, and Arryn has such a flat voice on top of being a gross ass person that I get annoyed every time she speaks. She’s no longer an oppressed minority fighting for the rights of her people, she’s a princess who would rather go to a club with people she didn’t even like than a rally against the man who caused so much suffering to her people. Even her talk with Nora about not letting yourself be taken over by who you’re with romantically is hypocritical, since that’s exactly what’s happened to her since she’s been paired up with Yang.

She couldn’t even have the spotlight of fighting her own VILLAIN, Yang was the one who broke Adam’s Aura and had the big triumphant moment of throwing his sword in the river while she was too busy fucking rock climbing.

3. Yang Xiao Long

Yang was my second favourite girl in RWBY and I’m mad at CRWBY for what they’ve done to her.

Yang wasn’t super developed in the earlier volumes. Honestly, I didn’t think much until her talk with Blake about Raven in Burning The Candle, and her dismemberment leading her towards depression and PTSD. Come Volume 4, I was alright with the portrayal of her recovery. I don’t think they gave enough time between her trying on the arm and then being good enough to leave, but in the grand scheme of things, it wasn’t bad.

What was bad was everything after. Yang became a hypocritical, moody bitch who would drag everyone for their bad decisions while ignoring her own. Her PTSD, something VERY personal to me, was ruined and up and vanished by V7 since she’s now killed the man who gave her the disorder so obviously it’s cured! She is always on Ozpin’s case for the birds shit, and then keeping secrets, but then goes and does the exact same thing while giving little resistance to others doing it because they’re family.

Even her argument with Ruby in V8 was tame as fuck. She blamed Ruby for things not going well while ignoring that it was her own dumbass decisions that contributed to it. Ruby didn’t tell Yang to go and spill the beans to Robyn, her stupid cat girlfriend did that, and Yang went along with it while being unrepentant later on when Ironwood was RIGHTFULLY pissed about it.

Add onto v8 then having her worry about how BLAKE thought about her, rather than RUBY, and I just hate her. This ain’t Yang, I want Yang back.

4. Nora Valkyrie

Nora is just a flat character. Her voice is annoyingly high pitched and screechy, her jokes aren’t funny, and all the things I loved that she got in v4 was later dropped entirely. She had such good moments in V4 that actually made me appreciate her more, and then she just became another hypocrite in v7 who wanted to yell at Ironwood while refusing to look at her own flaws.

On top of her kissing Ren when he was clearly not in the mood to talk, and it made me hate her. It’s not a cute ship moment, it’s a creepy disrespect of someone’s personal space. If it was the other way around, no one would think it was cute.

5. Robyn Hill

Similar to Ghira’s reasons, I never liked Robyn, so she’s low down on the list compared to the others since at one point I loved the others (Minus Cinder but she’s just so bad that she’s #1).

Robyn isn’t a good freedom fighter. She runs in without thinking about things and then proceeds to deny any responsibility of her actions. She won’t accept that maybe her agreeing with the same serial killer that nearly killed her and Fiona, on top of succeeding in murdering some of her supporters and Forest, and starting a fight with Clover in an enclosed space wasn’t a good idea.

Add onto the fact that she’s really just incompetent. She steals supplies from Ironwood to fix the wall and help Mantle, but after time we see that nothing has been done.

Christina Vee is wasted on her honestly.

#rwby #rwby spoilers #rwde #answered #luke.txt #Anonymous

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mermaidcashton · 4 years

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i hate to admit it

author: claire (@mermaidcashton) ship: michael clifford/reader prompt/AU: this is a gift for the wonderful @h0tsos who wanted soft, subby Michael in an enemies to lovers capacity (and i snuck some coffee shop!au in there as well, and some weebness because, well, it’s Steff and Michael) wordcount: 4k+ warnings: swearing, alcohol mentions, explicit sexual content a/n: • written for @maluminspace & @h0tsos ‘s 5sos fic writers collab (which was a gift exchange this time around) • i do not give permission for this (or any of my writing) to be reposted, by anyone, on this or any other website. please don’t do it! • title from ‘this means war’ by mariana’s trench • ‘my hero academia’ is a manga/anime series. there are references to it and a few of the characters in this but you don’t need to know anything about it to understand what’s going on.

i hate to admit it *** “So, they’re like...superheroes?”

Luke sipped on his glass of rosé, nodding like he understood whilst making a face that showed he absolutely did not.

“Yeah, dude, pretty much!” Michael nodded along with your co-worker with so much enthusiasm he looked like one of those dogs people put on their dashboards. Except less cute. Wait, no - not cute. Definitely not cute at all. Good save, you. Couldn’t have your own internal monologue thinking you felt anything for the moron you were forced to work with 3 times a week was anything more than an annoyance you had to endure. With a butt that wouldn’t quit. Dammit, self!

Michael took advantage of Luke showing an interest in his (and yours) favourite anime, and began bombarding him with half baked theories, predictable favourite scenes and shitty character analysis. He nearly knocked his own hat off as he flailed his hands around in an attempt at explaining the dynamics of a battle from the second season. Luke smiled politely.

You snorted into your drink as you drained the last of it; you were definitely going to need another. If Michael started fanboying over Deku again, you were going to scream.

As you placed the empty bottle onto the wood of the coffee table, you took another glance around the apartment you were in. You’d never been up here before, despite spending a minimum of 20 hours a week in the coffee shop downstairs. But after this evening’s staff meeting tackling such issues as ‘who forgot that milk needs to be kept in the fridge overnight’ (Luke), ‘who is putting too much whipped cream on hot chocolates’ (Michael), and ‘who wrote ‘THIS COFFEE IS HOT, BUT U R HOTTER ❤ ) on a customers caramel macchiato’ (Luke again), Ashton had invited you all upstairs for a ‘employee chill’. You had been surprised a week or so into your employment when you had found out that the manager was also the owner who lived in the apartment above Screamin’ Beans; he was only in his mid twenties, but the more you’d experienced his drive and determination, the more your surprise had dwindled. Ashton really was a great guy, with one big flaw; Michael. They had been best friends for years, hence him moving into the apartment when he came back into town and the job Ashton had given him; which in your humble opinion was the equivalent of setting a monkey loose on the milk frother.

Michael had sealed his fate with you the same day he’d started work. He arrived 10 minutes late (from upstairs), sleepy eyed and shy smiled. His fluffy blonde hair was spilling out of his beanie, and he kept biting his very pink lip bottom with sharp little teeth. The way he pronounced your name was adorable. You’d burned your hand on the espresso machine. Strike one. Things unravelled quickly after that. He was ‘too shy’ to take orders and work the register so you were stuck there all day talking to goddamn customers about why it wasn’t a good idea to have 3 pumps of every syrup while he hid behind silver machinery and dirtied way more jugs than you deemed necessary. Strike two. And then he’d dropped a latté into that ladies bag - sorry, very expensive bag. Michael had let out a ‘uuuhhh’ sound like a malfunctioning robot without moving for so long that the furious customer had stopped trying to yell at him and focused her rage on you instead. When he had eventually come to whatever passed for his senses, Michael had power walked into the employee bathroom and didn’t return until Calum arrived to join the shift and assured him the woman had left, twenty minute later. You were beyond strikes. You’d been so sure you could talk Ashton into scheduling you together as little as possible. There was no reason to put you down to work nearly every shift together, especially shifts where only two staff were on! Except, apparently there was because he kept fucking doing it. Every time you pressed Ashton on it, he’d say something about how he needed Michael ‘trained by the best’, or ‘matching availabilities’, or he thought their ‘energies combined well; auras are meshing, y’know?’ The one might have been on you for catching him as he was returning from his Vibe Check Yoga class at the studio down the street.

He’d also emphasised that Michael needed more friends now he was back in the city, and you two had loads in common! You both liked pop punk! You’d rolled your eyes. And Italian food! A ‘tch noise. And anime! Okay, you’d bite.

The next time you’d gone into work, you’d engaged Michael in a conversation about ‘Tokyo Ghoul’ and recommended ‘Demon Slayer’; things started to pick up. You didn’t fantasise about locking Michael in the walk-in fridge the whole shift. And then…

“You watch ‘My Hero Academia’, right?” “Uh, yeah! I love it.” “Me too! I just ordered a Todoroki tee yesterday. And another Deku one, of course; gotta rep my main man!” “Oh..cool! He’s your favourite?” Of course Michael was a basic bitch. But hey, that’s fine. Deku was fine. He was the main character, after all. And he’s a little less whiny in the recent manga issues, you guess. And the way Michael’s face was right now - open, comfortable, lit up like the 4th of July? That was good, too. His eyes were so green. “Yeah! Who’s your favourite character?” “Well, I would die for a bunch of ‘em, but I’m a Bakugou girl at heart.” You laid a palm flat on your chest, choosing to ignore the feel of your heart beating faster than it had been five minutes ago beneath it. Michael wrinkled his nose. “Bakugou? But he’s like...he’s so mean! And angry!”

Oh no. You’d had this conversation before. You locked eyes with Michael, hoping he could see the warning in your eyes. Don’t do it, ho.

“Like, he’d probably make a better villain than hero!”

“You okay, boo?” Calum slid into the space on the couch beside you, holding out a fresh beer for you to take. “You look deep in thought.”

You hummed and accepted the bottle from him, letting go of your train of thought as you caught sight of Luke trying to prove he could get his overly long leg behind his head. Michael and Ashley F. were both actively trying to avoid getting kicked in the face with a sparkly boot, whilst Ashton was just monitoring the situation very intently; you’re not entirely sure when he last blinked.

You snorted again as Luke’s foot slotted into place in a position you were 85% sure he would not be able to get out of again without assistance, possibly from the emergency services.

“I’m fine. Gotta be one of us capable of thinking here, y’know.” You teased, looking sidelong at Calum. He laughed, rubbing a hand over his freshly shaved hair; he’d always been as easy to get along with as he was obnoxiously handsome. “Hey! You’re lucky I know you’re talking about the human pretzel over there! And I guess, your boyf-” Big brown eyes glittered at you over the hand you’d slapped over his mouth. “-fwendth.” Narrowing your own eyes at your friend, you hissed. “Shut up! I would rather die.” Calum waggled his eyebrows incessantly at you until you relented and dropped your hand. “You knew who I was talking about, though.” Ugh. Smug was not a good look on Calum. “You know, smug is not a good lo-oh fuck, is that the time?” The clock behind Calum’s head showed 8:58; your auction ended at 9:00. You fumbled into your bag for your phone, unlocking it and flicking straight to the app you needed. Phew - still the top bid. “Whatcha doin’?” Calum hooked his chin over your shoulder, blowing your hair out of his face before settling down.

“Bidded on a really cool, limited edition figure. One of my all time favourite anime characters. The auction is about to end.” You explained, making sure Calum could hear you other the cacophony of sounds associated with Luke trying to get his other leg behind his head. You both watched the seconds tick down, your username sitting securely by the words ‘Winning Bid’. At two seconds to nine, the page refreshed, then refreshed again; it was over.

‘Winning Bid: BIGRED69’ “Uh...what happened? That’s not you, right?” Calum asked, tilting his head to look at your face, and the rage it contained. BIGRED69. He’d done it again.

“Uh oh, Y/N - what’s wrong?” Ashton’s voice pulled you out of your internal screaming, and you looked up at him.

“She’s losing her weeb shit at a heavy eBay loss” Calum answered for you, nodding solemnly as he pulled away from you, giving you room to bonk him with a cushion. “Oh! That’s too bad, but that’s another thing you and Mikey have in common!” Ashton beamed. “Mikey!” Oh no. Oh no, no.

“Yeah?” Michael sloped over, getting his black boot caught on the corner of the leopard print rug as he did. Ashton caught him with an ease you suspected (knew) came from practice. “Why don’t you take Y/N to see your anime dolls? She collects them, too!” Ashton looked so pleased with himself and his suggestion for further ‘bonding’ for you and Michael, and Michael looked like he’d been force fed raw lemon at the phrase ‘anime dolls’, so you let it go on your own behalf. Except now Michael was waiting expectantly for you to follow him to his room and Calum was shoving you off of the couch to get you moving. Fuck your life. You sighed as you got up and started walking. “Fine, let’s go; you can show me your Todoroki body pillow and then we can get on with our lives.” Michael let out a small hiss like an angry kitten, his cheeks colouring a pretty pink. He spared a glance at everyone left in your wake. “I, um, don’t have a body pillow, you guys.” “Suuuuure!” You rolled your eyes, waiting for Michael to enter his bedroom so you could follow. The blonde flicked the light on and moved slightly further in so you could pass him, before shutting the door with a small ‘click’. You decided not to comment on this action, looking around at the posters on the walls and figurines on the shelves instead. You were undecided on whether or not you were going to comment on how cool a lot of Michael’s shit was. A ‘Full Metal Alchemist’ poster over his bed, a full shelf of Funko Pops from movies you loved, framed prints of album artwork by Waterparks and The Maine. Fuck. You were really aware of Michael staring at you with an almost hopeful (?) look on his face as you let your eyes travel around his room before he could show you his ‘anime dolls’. Fuck. Your stomach felt fluttery, and you thought you might have a serious problem here, before you caught sight of a very different problem on Michael’s desk.

A rare Kirishima Eijirou statue - box signed by the voice actor - you’d been outbid on last month. By BIGRED69. What were the chances a different one was sitting by Michael’s laptop?

“So,” You said, trying to keep your voice neutral and non-murderous. “Where do you get your collectibles from?” “Forbidden Planet, Tokyo Toys, eBay…” Michael rattled off, until you interrupted him. “Where did you get that one? Looks rare - it must have been difficult!”

“Oh! eBay! It was, but I have an app for it, so…” Michael grinned, looking pleased with himself. An app? “An automatic bidding app? You sniped me?! That’s cheating!” You squeaked; you could not believe this. It was unbelievable.

Michael blinked at you, head empty. “BIGRED69?!” You managed to make the world’s stupidest screen name sound like a terrible accusation. Which it was.

Comprehension dawned on his stupid, beautiful face all at once. “Oh my God! That was you that I’ve been fighting for this stuff? No way! But you didn’t know it was me?”

“Why the hell would I know it was you!” You threw your hands up, and Michael just stared dopily back at you.

“‘Bigred69?! Obviously I assumed you were 12!” Michael let out a squawk of protest, before folding his arms defensively across his chest.

“Clifford!” “What?” Michael’s tone became more insistent. “My last name! Clifford!” You pulled an exaggerated ‘so?!’ face, throwing your hand in the air again.

Michael had the unmitigated gall to huff, like you were the biggest idiot in the room; like he wasn’t always the biggest idiot in every room, all rooms, ever, in the history of rooms. “Clifford the Big Red Dog!” He said, insistence heavy in the words.

You often swore you could almost hear the old internet dial up tone trilling inside Michael’s brain when customers at the coffee shop asked him such difficult questions as “What dairy alternative milks do you carry?”, “Where is the bathroom?”, and even once - you swear - “What’s your name?”. In Michael’s defence, that last one had been asked in more flirtatious-than-not tone by a brunette who clearly had some kind of vision problem (he’d been dressed more horrendously than usual that day beneath his uniform apron; was that a utility vest?!), but had fluttered her eyelashes at your idiot colleague so hard, for so long, you’d been concerned she’d be leaving without what little vision she’d arrived with. But still. Idiot. Michael, not you. And yet, now it was you with your brain puttering through the information you had with the shrill electronic sound of the 90’s in your head. “Clifford the- are you for fucking real?” This could not be real life.

“It’s totally clever!” Michael asserted, continuing in earnest once you scoffed in reply. “No, listen! Because of Clifford, and also, I had red hair when I made it, and 69 is funny - it is! - and, well-” His face flushed slightly before he puffed his chest out a little, apparently deciding to commit to his defence of his screen name. “I’m big, so it works on like, loads of levels!”

This could not be happening to you. You were decidedly not standing in the bedroom of a coworker you simultaneously couldn’t stand and also couldn’t stop thinking about kissing as you restocked the counter fridges in the evenings, as he explained that his auction site handle was a combination of a previous dye job, an insinuation about his dick and a massive fucking dog. You could not let Michael have the upper hand here, but you were floundering. So you fell into more familiar, more pathetic territory.

“If you were called something like ‘deku-loving-loser’, then, sure - I would have known it was you!” “Who’s 12 now?!” “Uh, still you!” Okay, so this wasn’t your finest moment, but you were in it now. And you’d really wanted the Kaminari figure tonight. Michael didn’t even like him that much!

“The point is, you totally sniped me! And you get stuff about basic canon wrong! And your understanding of the characters is one dimensional! And, and...your hat is stupid!” Well, shit. In your defence, Michael’s hat was stupid. You could feel how hot your face was, and Michael’s eyes looking right at it was only making it worse. You couldn’t read his expression at all; he looked like he was searching for something, and you didn’t know what it was, or if he’d find it. You could only assume he had when he took the most decisive steps you’d ever seen him take, reaching you in two huge steps and cupping your face with both hands. Michael kissed in a way he didn’t do anything else; he felt sure and certain as he pressed his lips to yours, moving them with intent. Your brain became overtaken with television static almost immediately as you moved your mouth in time with his, opening your mouth immediately at the questioning press of his tongue. You had enough of yourself left aware to yank his stupid fucking hat off his head as you tangled your fingers in his blonde hair, Michael’s hands sliding down to clutch at your waist as you swayed with the kiss. As Michael pulled back ever so slightly, you took the opportunity to press your teeth into his plush bottom lip, the way you’d thought of doing in afternoon slumps on shift. The whine that came from deep in Michael’s throat made a split second decision for you.

You pulled back further from Michael, yanking your top off in one go and starting in on the buttons of his black shirt before he fully registered the sight of your bra and the top of your full breasts.

“Shit, Y/N, are you…” Michael trailed off as you pulled his sleeves down his arms, and the shirt off this body. Your eyes met his as you popped the button on his black jeans and placed your hand on his zipper. “Do you really want me to overthink this, Michael?” A moment’s pause, then he shook his head vigorously, leaning down to pull his boots off once you’d yanked his jeans to his knees. By the time he was left in his (funnily enough, black) boxer briefs, you’d discarded your own jeans and were knelt at the foot of his bed in your soft, lilac underwear. Michael’s breath hitched as his gaze drifted down your body, taking it all in under the artificial light of the room. “Get over here, Clifford…” You teased, trying not to second guess what was happening. Michael broke out of his trance and more or less threw himself onto the bed, settling his head on the pillows and pulling you on top of him for another kiss, and then another, and another. By the time you pulled back to catch your breath, your head was spinning. You braced yourself on your forearms on the bed, taking the time to admire Michael’s body beneath you.

You’d seen the tattoos on his pale, strong arms before, but they looked different in this context; the contrast between the milky skin and dark ink made your stomach swoop. The blonde hair on his head is also a contradiction; to the dark hair on his chest and the hair trailing down his stomach and disappearing under his waistband. Your mouth felt very dry as you let your gaze continue downward, to the straining bulge beneath the fabric.

You flicked your eyes back to meet Michael’s in question, your fingers suddenly resting on the waistband of his underwear. Michael swallowed thickly, and then nodded once before fixing you with a gaze of pure anticipation.

No use waiting around. You propped yourself up onto your knees over him and pulled on the fabric decisively, not stopping your motion until his underwear bunched up at his ankles. Holy shit.

You always knew Michael had to have at least one redeeming quality, and you’d finally found it. His cock was huge, hanging heavy and hard between his fuzzy thighs. The head was flushed the darkest pink you could ever remember seeing, and the slit was already shiny with precum.

If a voice in your head that sounded unfortunately like Calum pressed that Michael had lots of qualities you secretly found redeeming, you ignored it in favour of getting straight to business.

“FUCK! FUCKIN-”

Apparently, Michael hadn’t been prepared for you to take half of his impressive length into your mouth in one go. You sucked with intent, casting your eyes up to take in the sight of him. His pupils were already starting to blow, and you’d barely done anything. God, that was so sweet.

But then Michael threaded his fingers through your hair, his hand pressing ever so slightly into your scalp. The blonde wasn’t pushing down, but his grip was firm. You could feel the weight of his hand on the top of your head as you held his cock in your mouth, and that shit? Would not stand.

You grab the wrist brushing your hair a second before your other hand finds his idle one, fingers twisted loosely in the sheets. Once you’ve captured both wrists, you guide both to the same point above Michael’s hips, before slamming both into the mattress with purpose.

If you’d had time to think about it, you’re not sure how you would have expected Michael to react. He didn’t really put out the energy of a man who’d properly fight you for control, either in a domineering way or with more of an air of fragile masculinity. Perhaps a bit of questioning but ultimately compliant as long as he got his dick sucked. But the wanton moan that kicked out of Michael’s chest as you settled into a tight grip on his wrists where you had them pinned on the sheets with intent? That was unexpected. That was interesting.

Your mouth had remained still on his cock whilst you got his wrists pinned down, more cockwarming him than blowing him. But now you had him so pliant and under your control, it was go time. You pulled back up his cock, wrapping your lips tightly around the head of Michael’s cock, and sucked with gusto. Another groan from above you. You worked your tongue all the way around the head before pulling back enough to flick it into Michael’s sensitive slit. “Oh my fuuu- Y/N, God, I-” Michael was starting to writhe, his hairy legs rubbing into the sheets beneath you. You could feel his wrists moving along with the rest of his body, but you knew you’d made it clear you’d wanted him pinned, and he made no move to get his hand free. Good boy. You sank steadily back down Michael’s length, at least to the six inch mark, before pulling back up, hollowing your cheeks as you went. Back down a little further, then up, back to teasing the head, using your tongue. Michael couldn’t predict what you were going to do next, and it was clearly pushing all of his buttons. You could taste the precum that his cock kept kicking out into your mouth and throat, and see the flush spreading down his neck. By the time you’d pulled, drool beginning to build at the sides of your mouth, Michael was a mess, moaning as much as he was breathing. This could get addictive, you thought to yourself as you let your mouth drop to his balls, and your thumbs press into the pulse points on his wrists. You hummed before you released his left ball from your mouth with a wet pop, and that’s when Michael started begging. “Please, please, Y/N, I wanna-” he panted, cutting himself off over and over. “You’re so beautiful, lemme- God, fuck, it feels so amazing, you’re- I’ve been good, I’ll do anything, please…”

You pretend to consider his pleas as you dragged your tongue over his right ball, dipping into all the creases and leaving them wet behind you. Drawing back up onto your knees, you released one of his wrists so you could push his sweaty blonde bangs back from where it was plastered to his forehead, drinking in the vision before you. His green eyes were nearly completely black, blown out with arousal. The sheen on the skin of his face and body made him glow. His lips were chapped from his teeth tugging on them, and the pink of the matched the flush spread from his cheeks down his chest. And the wrist you were no longer restraining hadn’t moved a centimeter, still pressed firmly to the mattress. Michael was a good boy. And you knew how to treat good boys. With no preamble, you took Michael back into the wet heat of your mouth, relaxing your throat and not stopping until your nose was buried in the soft thatch of trimmed hair on his crotch. You took a moment to situate yourself and enjoy the deep whines bursting out of Michael’s throat into the quiet of his bedroom, before you began to move again, swallowing around his cock. You saw his thighs begin to tremble to the side of you before you heard him speak. “Fuck, fuck, Y/N, please, I’m gonna-” You hummed as hard as you could, pushing Michael’s wrists with that little bit more force into the bed as you did. Michael let out his loudest whine yet - bordering on a sob- as he came, shooting down your throat as he writhed beneath you.

You swallowed everything he gave you, and when you were sure he was finished, you pulled off slowly, and gently, releasing his wrists as you stood back up on your knees.

Michael looked blissed out, staring dreamily up at you with bright, adoring eyes. He still was yet to move his hands. “Hey.” “Hi.” You smirked down at him. “I believe I heard something about you’d ‘do anything’?” You shot a quick glance at the figurine on his desk, and down at yourself. “I had some ideas…”

collab masterlist • my masterlist

#5sos writing collab #my writing #mermaidcashton #5sos fic #5 seconds of summer fic #5sos #5 seconds of summer #michael clifford #michael 5sos #michael clifford x reader #michael 5 sos x reader #5sos x reader #michael clifford fic #michael 5sos fic

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serendipityjxmn · 4 years

Text

I Hate You, Park Jimin!

Chapter 17

Words Count: 5.9k ripppp

TW: SMUT

Link to Chapter 16

Link to Chapter 18

And so the next day, after spending the afternoon to evening studying- or more like me trying to stop each of Jimin’s advances because I was trying to show how salty I was at him for leaving me wanton but of course he’d been oblivious- at his place, we were inside the car, Jimin driving towards a restaurant where he said we’d meet the boys and have dinner together. He said it’s a restaurant they frequented too.

I kept on fidgeting with my black skirt that covered just right above my knee, feeling more and more anxious as we neared the place.

“We’re here.” He said.

Jimin pulled up outside an expensive looking building as he eased the car into a parking lot filled with luxury cars. His sleek Audi can certainly fit right in. Ah- shit of course the restaurant they frequented had to be an expensive one.

I gulped and looked down at my outfit. If I’d known that he’d take me to a fancy restaurant like this, I’d certainly would’ve dressed better- although I doubt I have something much better in my closet- or at least put some more effort in my makeup over my pale face.

Jimin pulled my door opened and I gasped.

“Come on.” He said, hands held out. I sighed. He had dressed impeccably in his button down pastel blue shirt, slightly unbuttoned at the top and black slacks. He’d dressed formally but still looked casual enough without blazers or expensive coat over it. His sleeves were folded to the elbow and I had been drooling ever since he put it on just now.

“Don’t you think it’s a bit too fast to be meeting them now?”

He rolled his eyes at me.

I put on a whiny expression, trying to persuade him.

“Come out now before I pull you over my shoulders.” He warned.

“You wouldn’t.” I snorted.

“Oh really?” He gave me the are-you-challenging-me look.

Goddamn it Park Jimin. I climbed out of his car almost reluctantly. His hands laced mine immediately.

“God- it’s so hard to get you moving today.” He said, chuckling as he led me inside.

Because I’m dreading this meeting! This morning I had woken up so early trying to calm my nerves as well as trying to decide on my outfit. Jimin had arrived to pick me up before we went studying at his place. It took me so long to get ready and he was getting exasperated.

“I’m sure you look just fine Hana!” He yelled in exasperation outside my bedroom door.

“But-“

“I swear you only have 2 seconds before I drag you from in there-“

“Okay, okay fine!” I yelled back before he could barge in and definitely not before he breaks my bedroom door.

“Do you have reservations, Sir?” The seemingly too friendly waitress asked. She smiled all too sweetly at Jimin but didn’t even spare a mere glance at me. Hey- I’m right here!

“Yes, Park Jimin. I’m a regular here.” He added the last part in a condescending tone and the girl got flustered while saying sorry. Is it bad that I smiled at that? He then untangled his hands from mine. My heart clenched- was he trying to show that he’s single or-

Shit. I was wrong. He untangled our hands but then proceeded to place firm arm around my waist and pulled me closer. The waitress had to acknowledge my presence because my cheeks were almost bunched up against his shoulder. She nodded at me.

Shit. Why do I always think of the worst of Jimin? Because that’s what you always do, my mind answered and I decided to ignore.

“This way, sir.” She led us inside and I was stunned by the interior of the fine dining restaurant. The atmosphere was quiet, formal with soft music playing in the background as we walk past a number of tables. Where are we heading? There’s plenty of empty tables here.

“This way, Sir. Your company has all arrived.” She nodded politely at Jimin and me as she held the door open. Hm- at least she’s professional on her job.

“Come.” Jimin asked for my hands and I gratefully took it, gripping it a tad bit too firmly.

He just smiled at me in amusement as he led me inside.

The room immediately erupted into a loud noise as soon as we entered.

“Hey!”

“There’s the lovebirds!”

“Finally, I’m starving.”

Of course, they’d had a private room to themselves and I momentarily wondered if the room’s soundproof because their voices were definitely octaves higher than allowed here.

I finally get to have a good look at all five of them after Jimin gestured me to sit between him and the incredibly good-looking Jin although he was a good space apart from me.

“Hey Hana- you know me right?” Namjoon waved at me from across the round table. His dimpled smile forming and I wanted to hide right away. I may like Jimin but he’d been my senior crush since forever.

“Hyung- careful. She has a crush on you.” Jimin said casually and my eyes widened. My hands went to pinch his thigh underneath the table.

“Oh- really?”

“I- I respect you a lot.” I smiled awkwardly at him through gritted teeth, Jimin mumbling an ouch beside me.

“Wah.. it’s an honor.” He said and once again flashed his perfectly aligned teeth in a genuine smile.

“I’m Jin.” The one beside me held out his hand and flashed a gentle smile. Dang- thousands would melt at that immediately. I shook his hand in full nervousness.

“Yoongi.” The one beside Jin said, which sounded more like a grunt to me. I flashed an awkward smile, his gaze only meeting me briefly. Does he hate me? Perhaps I should-

“Hey Hana~ Heard a lot about you! I’m Hoseok.” He was smiling so wide I can’t help but to grin back at him. Suuuuper different than Yoongi sunbae.

“Hi. I’m Taehyung.” The one beside Jimin said with a voice so low I almost choked on air. I’d known him for years and yet I was still mesmerized by his beauty and... his voice.

“We’d been pestering Jimin so much about meeting you. Ah~ I’m finally seeing the sister-in-law..” Hoseok threw his hands out in a satisfied manner. I felt my cheeks reddening in embarassment. Can this get anymore embarassing? Six god-tier looking handsome guys putting all their attention at me? Except for Yoongi sunbae I guess because he was looking at everyone else except me.

“You don’t know how much Jimin had been losing sleep when you ignored him.” Namjoon grinned.

Wh- what? My face turned to my side instantly. Jimin looked ashen.

“Ah~ it was a good time though. Someone needs to teach the boy about patience.” Jin spoke up.

“Oh God are you guys ganging up on me?” Jimin finally spoke and everyone else laughed. I did too. Who knew he’d be such a softie? The bad boy, Park Jimin.. I tried to stifle a smile.

“You’re laughing at me?”

I froze.

I didn’t realize Jimin had leaned down so close to my ears and the way he whispered those words sent tingles down my body.

I slowly shook my head and gulped.

“Good. Don’t try be naughty, babygirl.. or you’ll regret it,” he whispered again and I almost choked on my drink. He backed away and when I looked up at him, he had continued chatting casually with Taehyung beside him. God- I swear-

“So, Hana, how’s the preparation for the Olympiad?” Namjoon from across the table asked, immediately stopping me from cursing Jimin mentally.

“Um- it’s okay, I hope. I’d just been doing previous sets although I’m still not sure whether it’d be enough.” I smiled at him.

He nodded. “I think that would do. The questions doesn’t usually stray from the past year patterns. Sure, there’d be elements of surprise but I think your brain can handle it.” He winked at me and I flushed.

“Yah~ I really can’t join these geniuses’ conversation. Yoongi hyung why don’t you say something? Isn’t it about time you show some of your random knowledge?” Hoseok said.

Yoongi just threw him a look and I just smiled at their antics. I’d come to know that Yoongi sunbae was just like that, it wasn’t that he wasn’t friendly or something. Perhaps he just preferred to observe.

The main courses had arrived and everyone was savouring their meals while launching into conversations of their own. To be honest, I had no idea what my meal was. Jimin ordered them all, obviously. Although Jin was kind enough to tell me what my meal was- which now I know was lamb salad with fregola- and even kindly explained the capers, the arugula and all sorts of other ingredients in it. I learned that Jin likes cooking because he enjoys eating.

I was worried coming here because I thought I would be out of place but everyone else seemed very pleasant to me while Jimin seemed so engrossed talking to Taehyung. I looked at him briefly and I’ve no idea how he knew that I was staring but he turned his head towards me immediately. My eyes widened when I felt his hand went towards my thigh and shivers ran down my spine as he lightly squeezed my thigh before continuing his conversation with Taehyung. After a while, my body relaxed and Jimin maintained his palm flat over my thigh, the action seemingly harmless.

I enjoyed listening to Namjoon talking- he seemed unable to carry out the conversation without turning philosophical every once in a while and Yoongi would then just shoot him down with his realistical thought. Their friendsip was so adorable and in all the time I just smiled fondly at them.

I was almost through with my meal and deeply engrossed with my conversation with Namjoon and Yoongi chirping in sometimes about the Economics (it’s not boring people!) when I almost choked on my food as I felt Jimin’s hand had moved lower towards the hem of my skirt before his fingers lightly trailing higher and slowly hitched my skirt up.

“Are you okay?” Namjoon asked immediately and I glanced at Jin who’s face etched with worry.

I frantically nodded. “Yeah- yea I’m fine.” I quickly reached for my drinks and chugged them down vigorously. Thank Heavens they didn’t think much of it and Namjoon and Jin continued with their conversation.

Jimin’s hands moved again and this time his hand was successfully placed between my thigh, dangerously close to my core before he pulled my leg extremely slowly to spread them apart. My eyes went wide and I immediately looked at him, trying to figure out what he was trying to do. But Jimin wasn’t looking at me at all. He seemed deeply engrossed in his conversation with Taehyung, his face maintaining the poker expression.

My left hand immediately went under the table to stop him from spreading my legs further apart but to no avail. He simply pushed my hand away. My eyes blew further- is he trying to touch me in this public place while his friends are all present? If he is, I am deeply fucked.

I pulled my hand back up because I need both my hands to continue eating. But honestly- I don’t think I have any appetite anymore - not when I felt myself getting aroused but also fuming with anger at Jimin. How dare he does this when this is my first meeting with the boys?

I swallowed thickly when I felt Jimin’s hand continuing his ministrations- his fingers slowly danced along my exposed thigh and then languidly moved inside my thigh, tracing dangerously high towards my clothed core. When his fingers lightly grazed my core, I choked again over my lamb. This alarmed the boys and I panicked.

“Hana are you really okay? You look pale.” Hoseok said.

I struggled to swallow my food before frantically nodding. “Sorry- it just went down the wrong way. I’m-“ I drew a breath, trying to steady my now heavy breathing, “I’m just not used to these kind of fancy food you see.” I said weakly, attempting to smile in the meantime.

They bought it- thank God. Jin just smiled kindly at me. “Don’t worry about it Hana. It’s just food.” He reassured me. Oh- only if he knew.

I suddenly felt hot breath near my ear and my body stilled.

“Keep still baby, and you’ll be fine.” He whispered so low to me in an act disguised as kissing above my ear and I shuddered. As he did so, my gaze went towards Taehyung who was watching me intently and I could’ve sworn his lips had tugged slightly at the corner as if to smirk but it was so brief making me unsure of myself. “You okay?” Jimin asked, this time loud enough for people to hear.

I swallowed before nodding my head and he seemed casual enough but I could see amusement dancing in his eyes. I glanced at Taehyung but he was no longer watching me. Instead, he had now turned towards Namjoon and Jimin joined their discussion.

Hoseok was now talking about this one girl in his year who kept being hostile towards him when he did nothing to berate her.

“Like- the lecturer asked me to gather all the assignments and she suddenly told me she didn’t need me and she’d submit it herself? What did I do?” He complained.

I tried so hard to ignore the fingers that had now firmly placed itself on top of my heated core, shifting uncomfortably in my seat as I tried to focus on the conversation but how could I when Jimin was relentlessly torturing me down there?

My breath grew heavier when Jimin slyly pull my underwear aside, exposing my sex to the cold air and I struggled to fight my body from trembling. I felt goosebumps trickling all over my arms. By the time Jimin’s knuckles grazed over my core, I was sure I was already a hot mess down there.

I looked at Jimin and even though he appeared nonchalant, it wasn’t a mistake spotting his lips tugging up slightly into a smirk when the tip of his fingers were immediately soaked with wetness from my core. Fuck- he knew what he does to me.

I gripped my spoon more tightly- oh fuck- I barely managed to stop the words from slipping out when his fingers ran up and down over my entrance. His lazy movement was torturous and I almost pressed my legs together, desperate for friction when I unintentionally lurched forward as Jimin slipped his two fingers inside me.

Fuck, fuck, fuck-

He wasted no time pushing further, circling inside and I swallowed hard before biting my lips to contain my moans.

I glanced at Jimin who sure remained impassive as he gloriously finger fucked me in this public place, a fucking restaurant, around his fucking friends.

God- if anyone happened to drop something on the floor and bend down to pick it up- we’d get caught instantly and it’s an image I don’t want to picture.

His fingers slowly traced deeper, towards my hilt and I struggled to maintain a straight face when his fingers slowly started to fall into a pace, thrusting dirtily in and out of me. I bit my lip a tad bit too hard, trying to remain sane because honestly- I was a mess, my brain’s all fuzzy I could no longer focus on the conversations at all, my core was dripping wet.

Jimin’s fingers delved deeper and I could feel my orgasm slowly building inside my stomach and eventhough his face remained stoic, I knew he was aware that I was almost at my limit because my walls were pulsating around him as I spread my legs further, briefly thankful that Jin sat further away, and bucked my hips towards his fingers more when I noticed now that his jaw was slightly clenched as if he had a hard time controlling himself too.

I grew even more aroused at his sight. So he wanted to play.. yet he could barely constrain himself. I smiled thinking of a revenge plan.

But right now- I gotta chase my orgasm that I knew would come so soon considering how Jimin was thrusting into me without mercy.

Fuck- fuck oh Lord- I thought and immediately my walls tensed around Jimin’s fingers and I closed my eyes, riding through my fucking good orgasm I no longer cared if anyone’s watching.

When I opened my eyes, Jimin was staring at me, his eyes glinting with devil and amusement. He slipped his fingers out and carefully fixed my panties and skirt back to its original position. I took a deep breath trying to calm myself down before crossing my legs (to prevent further not-so-unfortunate events) and smiled at Namjoon before chirping into the conversation.

Our plates for main course was cleared and desserts arrived soon. I smirked down at my creme brulee and picked up my small spoon. Good- I only need one hand.

“Oh, Professor Lee told us that we would be covering questions on algebra next week right, Namjoon sunbae?” I asked sweetly, happy to finally found my voice.

And then, slowly, my hand went towards Jimin’s thigh. He froze immediately when I didn’t stop and continue to stroke his inner thigh, dangerously close to his crotch while keeping a straight face. His face turned to me in a speed of lighting but my gaze remained towards Hoseok who was talking now.

Out of the peripheral of my eyes, I spotted him gulping hard when finally, finally my hands grazed his cock. I was surprised it was already hard- not even semi hard but then again he’d finger fucked me so good of course he would be affected by it too. I was simply amazed he could control himself when he was this hard.

Jimin let out a small gasp but managed to cover it as cough when I cupped him underneath the table. Slowly and languidly, I stroked his length up and down. I pressed my legs together when I felt myself getting aroused as well. Damn it- this plan is gonna backfire. I never wanted so hard to just get on my knees and suck the life out of his cock that must be throbbing in pain right now- asking to be released.

I gripped his length hard and his jaw clenched harder when I started to stroke him faster. God- I wanted to pull it out of his pants but I was scared to get caught.

I scanned around to see if anyone’s actually caught up to our dirty acts but no one is looking at us. It also seemed as though they were really taking their time to savour their dessert- mostly chatting through it and I had a feeling that they won’t be finishing soon so I had plenty of time.

Oh screw it.

I glanced at Jimin briefly, my movement stopped and his head turned towards me too. His expression slightly tensed and enquiring as if trying to gauge my intention. I smirked briefly before turning towards Jin beside me who had been sharing his exclusive recipes that he himself invented.

Jimin relaxed slightly beside me, but not before he tensed again as my fingers moved towards his zipper. Slowly, I undo his zipper and this made Jimin catch his breath. I tried not to smile satisfactorily. Then I grabbed the hem of what I was quite sure to be his Calvin Klein boxers and swiftly pulled it down, letting his erection out under the cloth-covered table. He hissed slightly from the exposure but immediately shut his mouth tight, jaw tight when my fingers clasped around his erection bare. He was hard- hard as fuck but I need to lubricate him. I struggled to think of how. And then I pulled my hand up and Jimin just stared at me as I casually sipped my drink. Obviously he thought I was gonna stop there. And then I brought my left hand to my mouth, posing as if I was wiping my mouth clean but in actual fact, I was licking the palm of my hand and carefully let my spit out without anyone noticing. God- I feel so dirty but I was so determined to win Jimin over his game. I could sense Jimin’s eyes blown wide beside me because if he was watching me- he’d know what I was doing.

And when I ran my hands - my wet hands - up and down his erection, he swore under his breath. Soon, I picked up my pace, palming him fast and then slow and then going so low towards his balls he had to shift uncomfortably in his seat as his legs spread open for me.

And then Jimin accidentally let out an audible gasp and everyone turned to look at him. Others had worried over their face- except Taehyung I guess? Because I think he was eyeing me instead of Jimin. Fuck- am I caught? Did I take it too far?

“Jimin, you’re pale, you okay dude?” Namjoon asked.

Jimin suddenly cleared his throat. “Yeah- I don’t really feel so well today, feeling slightly cold I guess. I think we might just head home earlier.” He said.

W-what? My hand was still on his cock. He swiftly took my hand away from his cock and within seconds his zippers was done again before I could even process anything.

“Oh really?” Hoseok asked, frowning in worry.

“Then that’s not good. Go home early. We’ll head back with you too. We’re almost done too right?” Namjoon looked at the others.

“No hyung, it’s okay. Let Taehyung finish his desserts. We’ll head out first.” Jimin stood up and looked down at me before lightly tugging my arms. Confused, my brows furrowed but still stood up with him.

“Ah, okay then.” Namjoon said.

“It was real nice meeting everyone.” I said and smiled fondly at all of them.

They all replied the same thing and flashed a grin at Namjoon who told me to study hard. I blushed when Taehyung said not to keep Jimin in his apartment too much to which Jimin rolled his eyes at. I nodded politely at them and they did the same, shouting goodbyes as we head out of the room.

Jimin looked at me with an expression too gentle for someone who had blue balls as he waited for me out before placing an arm around my waist and led me out of the restaurant after stopping briefly at the counter and asking them to put the meals on his tab.

As soon as we were out, I welcomed the fresh air that hit me but immediately shivered from the cold air. I thought we were heading straight to the car but Jimin just laced his fingers with mine before tugging me with slight urgency towards an empty corner not far from the parking lot.

“Jimin- where-“ I was cut off because he has pushed me towards an empty wall and his lips was on mine within seconds.

Always- and I think I will forever be- so drunk in his kisses. His lips molded into mine so perfectly, that sweet familiar scent invading my mouth so forcefully but none that I wish hadn’t. I love his kisses- a lot- his kisses are possesive, urgent, sensual, protective yet calming and soothing all at the same time.

My hands immediately flew around his neck, while his held me firmly at the back of my neck.

“Had fun teasing me?” His voice low and raspy, laced with threat. I shuddered- from the cold and from his words.

Desire spread like wildfire inside me when he placed his thigh against my core and I moaned into his mouth.

“Jimin-“ I whimpered, barely audible. “God, Jimin- I want you- I want you so bad,” I whispered.

He cursed before letting me go, both of us completely breathless and already panting hard from the intense makeout. His eyes dark, half-lidded with lust and intensity.

“I swear you’re the death of me, Hana.” He murmered before giving me a soft chaste kiss at the edge of my lips then pulling back to thread his fingers with mine. “Come. Let’s get out of here and into a bed.” He smirked and I blushed wildly knowing it’s impossible to deny the heat that radiated throughout me from his words.

Even then he gently tugged me towards his car because I was wearing high heels and flashed me sweet knowing smiles and I wonder if I can blush even harder. He’s so.. irresistible.

The heat of the car calmed me instantly although not the burning desire inside my stomach.

“Fuck the Lord I’m hard as fuck now,” he growled as the car roared to life. He glanced at me briefly, smirking slightly. “Damn Hana, things you do to me.” He murmured and then proceeded to floor the gas, cutting through other cars, maneuvering swiftly between lanes.

I had no idea what went through me but suddenly I moved to tug the strings on top of my blouse, slowly letting it fall apart and revealing my perfect cleavage.

“Baby...” he said through gritted teeth, warning me. He wasn’t even looking at me! How the hell does he know?

He always knows.

“What?” I asked a little too innocently. “I’m just feeling a little too hot.” I said and sensually (I hoped) spread my legs, hitching my skirt up a little. I was too far gone in my arousal. We were closing in to his apartment since I could recognise the familiar streets. Gulping when he glanced at me briefly, he stepped further on his gas and soon the car made a turn towards his apartment area.

“You’re driving me insane Hana.”

“I like driving you insane.” I blurted out without thinking.

“Fuck.” He swore harshly and turned hard into the parking lot. It was dark in the basement parking lot but not completely as I could still see his face through the illuminating light from the moon and the distant lighting of the parking lot.

Jimin shut his engine down but before he could climb out of the car I held his wrist and immediately moved to kiss him on the lips, my hands frantically touching him literally everywhere. I was breathless and a total hot mess.

“Hana- baby-“ he struggled to say because I wouldn’t let his lips free.

“Mhm-“ I hummed to answer but came out more like a moan. My hands immediately went to his fly and swiftly unzip his pants.

“Hana-“ he called again, breathless from our sloppy make out session but apprehensive too. “Baby we’re in the parking lot-“

“I know-“ I couldn’t care less anymore. I wanted him now. I pulled away from his kiss and before he could say anything I bent down and immediately put him inside my mouth.

“Fuck!” He groaned out loud.

This was actually my first time doing this for him and I knew it wasn’t the best and most romantic place ever but honestly- I don’t care anymore. I was too far gone, lusting over Jimin. I tried to do as much as how Ah Young taught me (she explicitly gave me a free lesson going something about hacks to make your man stays) but I didn’t know whether I’m doing it right at all.

“Oh fuck Hana- shit shit-“ he growled even louder as my tongue swirled deliciously around his length.

“God- you’re so good-“ he whispered breathlessly. One of his hand went to stroke my hair lightly while the other went to reach my ass that was high up in the air, and pulled my skirt up exposing my ass bare. “Fuck- you’re so gorgeous baby.”

His fingers played with my underwear and then then pulled them swiftly to my knees. I feel so bare and so aroused both at the same time. The tingling sensation heightening each time.

He then moved his seat backward and truthfully my knees was starting to hurt from kneeling on the seat but Jimin moved enough to give me space so I moved to kneel infront of him, cock still fully stuffed in my mouth.

He swore as he stared down at me. “I can just cum from seeing you kneeling in front of me like this, sucking the hell out of me.”

I looked up at him and I remembered Ah Young saying to look at him sensually and I tried to do so. As I swirl my tongue around him, taking him deeper, I looked at him expectantly and a plethora of curse escaped his mouth. His hand went to grab a handful of my hair and guided me to bop my head up and down his erection. I feel so powerful watching him coming undone, moaning loudly as I tasted him.

“Shit Hana, you’re so good at this damn it.” He said, a little frantically and all heavy breathe. “Come up baby.” He ordered and I complied immediately because my pussy was throbbing to be filled with him too.

He pulled me up and placed his hand on my waist gently as I straddled him. I stared at him, full of love and lust as he aligned himself to my entrance and then slowly, I sank down onto him and we both gasped.

“Oh, God-“ I shuddered from the pleasure. I felt so full when he filled me entirely and Jimin cursed as his head sank towards my shoulders. “Ah- you feel so good in me Jimin-“ I breathed.

Then I started to rock my hips up and down his length, placing my hands on his chest for support.

Jimin played with my blouse and cupped my breast that had been hardening beneath my blouse, groping them tight, earning a whimper from me.

“Ahh fuck- you’re so fucking hot-“ he said as he continued his ministrations on my breasts. Now wet with beads of sweat, he tugged my blouse and I quickly pulled my hands up to slide my blouse off me. He wasted no time tugging my bra down, attacking with his lips and earning a series of moans from me.

Right now anyone could be pulling up into the parking lot and see us but I really don’t care because the only thing I can focus right now is how good his cock felt inside me. The thrill of possibility of getting caught and the adrenaline rush made this so much hotter. My head kept lolling back every now and then, feeling overwhelmed with the way he filled me entirely, hitting all my walls and I started to pick up the pace and rode him faster.

Jimin’s hands went to my waist. “Fuck Hana- ugh you look so fucking good God damn, I love it when you fucking ride me baby, fuck the view is fucking amazing-“

“You’re so sweary-“ I chuckled while continuing my grinding.

He managed a smile before leaning in to kiss me deeply. “Because you fucking made me an animal,” he said staring lustfully at my flushed form, tits bouncing wildly as I grinded my waist in and out of his cock. I bit my lips from the overwhelming pleasure.

“Jesus look at your tits fuck baby-“ he panted and his hands flew to wrap around me before he started thrusting into me, taking over with fast, hard pace. The dirty sound of our skin lapping filled the car and I moaned harder. “I’m gonna cum, I’m gonna cum-“

I was almost at my limit too. I hugged Jimin tighter, crying out his name as I chased my orgasm. “Jimin- ah Jimin ahh ahh-“

“Yes baby, fucking scream my name-“ He growled and thrusted deeper and faster, hitting me at all the right spots.

“I’m coming, Jimin- ah-“ I said, barely audible as my vision goes blurry, my walls clenching tightly against Jimin’s cock and my grip against his shoulders tightened too.

“Fuck me too baby-“ he said, completely breathless and he pulled out of me, cumming all over my pussy and my stomach. I collapsed into him and he did too, his head buried into my shoulder as we both tried to catch our breath.

“That was...” I croaked, damn- sex till you lost your voice- wild, Kim Hana.

“Insane.” He finished for me while mumbling against my shoulder. I hummed in response.

As soon as we both calmed down, he backed away slightly to grab some tissues from the dashboard and wiped me off his cum. After I was fully dressed again, I came off off him and went back to my seat while he readjusted his seat.

I just stared at his post-fucked out form, his face glowed, cheeks tinged with redness, lips swollen from intense kissing and a messy hair. Even so he looked so hot with his button down shirt slightly unbuttoned at the top.

“Didn’t know you were into public sex.” He said casually, winking at me.

I flushed crimson. Oh my god- did that really just happen? And I’m the one who initiated it? I cupped my own heated cheeks and I could hear him chuckling. Biting my lips, I looked up at him. “Do you.. um.. still need me to follow you upstairs?”

“Why?”

“I’m.. mm.. I’m worried that if I stay..” I trailed off, too embarassed to continue.

He looked at me questioningly, clearly waiting for me to finish.

Oh screw it. “I’m afraid that I won’t get any sleep.” I said it so quickly, as if that would reduce the embarassment.

To my surprise, he laughed.

I went redder.

“We don’t have to do anything you don’t want to..”

“I know.. but sometimes.. I find it hard to listen to my brain when my body wants something else.” I muttered under my breath.

Jimin obviously heard me. “Fuck. I honestly have no idea how I’m going to control myself around you.”

“Then don’t.” I whispered softly.

His eyes widened. “Shit- Hana, if you continue to say stuffs like that, I won’t have even an ounce of self control left inside me before I fuck your brains out you won’t be able to walk for a week.”

O-oh. I gulped.

Then he leaned towards me and I pressed myself to the backseat, gone was insatiable Hana, back to the one who goes a complete mess in the near proximity of Park Jimin. “You have no idea what you do to me,” he whispered then kissed me gently.

“So.. um.. do you want to send me home?” I asked.

He shook his head. “Stay the night with me?”

It’s probably a bad idea. But I nodded nevertheless. Because Jimin melt my whole system all the time and that included my brain and thus my thinking ability went out the window.

But that night Jimin stayed true to his words. He let me shower alone in peace, prepared his huge T for me to wear after I showered and as soon as he wrapped his arms around me, I drifted to sleep, too worn out and exhausted for any further physical activities.

Link to Masterlist

200830 10:35PM

#serendipityjxmn #serendipityjxmnihateyouparkjimin #jimin fic #jimin au #jimin smut #bts #bts smut

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boymeetsweevil · 5 years

Text

Okay sorry but

Office life x Accidental marriage AU

BKGD:

OC who does bar trivia on some weeknights and weekends. It’s pretty hardcore and a good majority of the office does it. Lots of young knowledgable ppl using their niche/nerd interest facts to win some prizes.

Enter: Jin who is the office’s wet blanket but also carries the trivia team when it comes to real life knowledge (AKA anything that can be taught as an AP class in a high school). it’s actually pretty serious and one day you win a competition at the end of the year with a trip to Las Vegas as the grand prize

So Office!Jin is like weirdly stoic and shows like 0.001 emotions and when he does it’s him laughing at like...microsoft office memes or some shit. very dry eXTREMELY dry. Almost dwight schrute personality but for cooking and not farming, and less entertaining. Also scary beautiful, quiet, very much keeps to himself in a snooty way. Only comes to trivia, never goes on regular bar runs. Sits in the cubicle on the other side of the office so u don’t see him much.

FUNFATX: you did do a project with him that was like kind of involved for two weeks once and he commended you on your work ethic once it was done. After those two weeks you learned to speak Jin so that was basically him telling you that he thought u were cool

MAIN STORY:

No one expected him to say yes to going on the trip. But he does, which is weird. and it’s so surreal seeing him outside of his beige three piece suit and instead in the most generic grey sweat shirt and pants set ever. Everyone is trying to sneak glances at him on the plane to LV and he’s just wrapped up in a blanket alone in the back sleeping like a mummy[ u know like body completely straight and hands crossed at his front like a corpse]. he sat away from everyone because he knew they’d interrupt his sleep schedule which he carefully crafted to avoid any form of jet lag

Somehow, one of the more boisterous guys from the office gets a first drink in Jin (he never drank at the bar trivia because he wanted to be focused™️) Lol. it turns out that he’s actually kind of funny but like definitely still not on purpose he just turns into this whiny pink giant. everyone teases him and he’s only like 12.5% more talkative but it’s still incredible to hear him talk/complain this much at all

More drinks, some gambling, more drinks. You end up thinking Jin is actually kind of fun even tho he just went from prissy stoic to whiny awkward drunk and you drag him places to watch him squirm.

Cut to wake up scene.

Classiccliche omg-who-is-this-person-in-my-bed-that-I-didn’t-expect-to-be-there. It’s JIn-- who is knocked tf out and snoring but luckily ur clothes are all on and nothing hurts but....THERES A RING ON UR FINGER. And u scream and it wakes him up and lo and behold, there’s a ring on his finger too. The issue is that the chapel is closed and ur supposed to be flying back to school the next day so u can’t get it annulled but you figure u can always contact and do it remotely??? but lol u can’t and you wont have time/money to go back for at least two months.

u should have noted something was off when he sat next to you on the plane ride back. he sleeps like a mummy again and snaps at everyone so no one else sits next to you. ppl are trying to mime at your matching rings but ur too weirded out by the situation to say anything.

The odd thing is, u go back, Married to Jin and he’s like...unfazed. Completely fine with it. Like he��s chilling. You catch him eating chowder (in summer no less) in the break room and try to bring up an annulment but he just brushes u off and asks if you like soup and ur like uhhh yeah i like tomato soups i guess????

And then it starts. The husbanding

Jin starts bringing in soups that he made for you. Tomato soups. And he starts offering to drive you home after work in his boring little mid 2000′s sedan and at first ur clueless and ur like carpool is good ill go get some of the others and he’s flat out like “im only doing this because ur my wife and i dont want u taking the bus” and u think he’s joking so you laugh but you also get in anyway. And then u do the same thing the next day. And when your favorite blouse gets a hole in it, he loans you his suit jacket for the day and takes your blouse and sews up the hole and strengthens the button loops all during his lunch break.

suddenly he’s asking what other things you like to eat besides tomato soup and then he’s asking you to come with him to the grocery store this weekend so he knows what brands of stuff you like and ur like??? okay???? but why? because ur DUmb.

And someone else in the office literally has to sit down and explain it to you because one day you’re not going dancing with the girls because: last week u rec’d a movie for Jin to watch and immediately he went “okay lets watch it at my house next friday” and when one of the other married ppl in the office ‘defends you’ by mentioning how date nights being important at the beginning of the marriage youre like Haha funny joke and she’s like girl...

you go to Jin’s place but ur confused the whole time like is this thing real???? u figured that jin and u were on the same page and that u were just gonna live ur lives like nothing changed until you could go back to LasVegas to cancel the marriage but then ur at his house and he’s cooked you some of your favorites again and he’s got some extra socks because u said ur feet get cold he actually puts them ON YOUR FEET FOR YOU and he’s telling you that his dad is coming to town and wants to meet u and ur like....oh shit im married

#draft

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my-love-peterp · 5 years

Text

Mistaken Chapter One

Word Count: 2103 THERE ARE NO ENDGAME SPOILERS, THIS IS A DELAYED UPLOAD FROM AO3

Fic Summary: Peter Parker has been given the responsibility of bringing in a new recruit. Now, as an adult, he realizes that none of the trashy YA novels he read in high school could have prepared him for this. There was a storm on the horizon, and all they could do from the Tower is watch.

Chapter Summary: A new recruit is brought into the fold and is more than a handful.

Warnings: language, mentions of injury, non-graphic violence (brief)

A/N: You may have seen me over @fabtasticass which is my main blog. So this is my first fanfic and it's going to be a big one. It is a Soulmates AU but not in the traditional way. That won't show up until later chapters. I'm going to try to keep endgame a secret the best I can. I have some very angsty ups and downs planned but I'm trying to hold back. So I’ll tag each chapter with what pairing might be in that chapter in the official Tumblr tags but never at the beginning.

I ran, dodging rats, and clumps of unidentified garbage that lay literal feet from a plethora of garbage cans and dumpsters. God, I hated this city.

I especially hated this city in the rain, dashing through back alleys of Queens with all of my belongings in tow.

Rolling in and out of huge asphalt craters, my suitcases jostled my already pained arm. It had only been three or so hours since I’d reset the dislocated joint against my fire escape.

Blood dripped from a split along my hairline, mingling with sweat and city rainwater. At this point, I felt like a drowned cat and probably smelled like a wet dog. Super, awesomely attractive, right?

Bracing myself against the wall of the nearest building, I pulled a flask out of the interior pocket of my jacket and took a swig. The flask was light pink with the words “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun” emblazoned on the side. It filled me with a dark sense of glee and irony every time I used it. I nicked it from one of those chain party supply stores a few months back, which I supposed could be my version of fun.

The whiskey burned as it went down but as it hit my stomach it helped to warm my rain-soaked bones.

I began moving again. As I wove in and out of the misshapen piles in the alleyway, I felt the hair prickle on the back of my neck. It felt like I had a curious pair of eyes, tracking my every move and staring me down. I ignored my most basic instinct to turn around and investigate and my training kicked in instead. My eyes swept the alleyway ahead of me, monitoring the shadows, ears open and head down. I checked every shiny surface to see the reflection behind me. Empty alleyways are all that I was shown. So I shoved aside my intrusive paranoia and started whistling tunelessly as I moved. I’d felt that prickle for days and nothing had come of it.

In front of me, business lights filtered through the rain, casting a glow over the stone walls. Wet, sputtering and a little drunk, it only made sense that I was the target of some less friendly men who had stationed themselves outside of a local dive bar. They jeered and reached out at me. “Piss off you assholes, I’m not in the mood.”

Their demented shouts ranged from demands that I take off my clothes, false coos asking me if I needed their help to warm up and jokes about them being so good in bed women were jumping at the chance and willing to move in with them immediately to lock it down.

The rain got harder as I clenched my fist, glaring daggers at them and trying to subtly move faster. Everything about my body language screamed 'don't fuck with me', but it's hard to be intimidating when you're a generous 5'3. They advanced anyways and with a woosh, they all got tossed back into the brick wall, hard. The crack of a few skulls echoed down the empty alley, interrupted only by their groans as a few immediately came to.

The tingling on the back of my neck got more intense, this time joined by a fuzzy feeling alarm in the back of my brain. I hustled along, eager to get the hell out of Queens. I hadn't taken more than three steps when I heard him. “Woah, what was that? I webbed up those guys back there, they won't be able to move for a few hours. What was that though, can you like manipulate energy or is this outside the realm of earthly physics? Are you an alien? Or a mutant maybe? Or..."

Without looking up I sent another blast towards the overly excited voice and immediately heard an oomph followed by the sound of a body rushing towards the pavement. Or, rather, a dumpster.

“Hey not cool,” said the guy, poking his head up and out of the dumpster.

I groaned, immediately recognizing the mask, despite it being covered in what looked a lot like smashed avocado on the left side of the heroes head. Spider-Man.

Pushing my bags together, around my feet, I bound them to myself and alighted on the nearest rooftop, gently floating upward. I figured the enhanced cat was already out of the bag with the current company, so to speak. I ran along the flat roofs of the decrepit, abandoned buildings with still no destination in mind but out.

“Wait up, where are you going, stop! We're friends now right? It's rude to ignore your friends, and I'm the friendliest of friends, you know. Friendly neighborhood Spider-Man and all...” he babbled on lamely, his voice fading in and out as he swung between buildings, keeping up as I hopped from roof to roof.

“Buzz off buggy”, I grumbled before sending another shot his way.

“You’re really bad at paying attention to where I am, aren’t you” Spidey suddenly whispered in my ear. I shrieked and came to a halt, dropping my luggage next to me as I sat to dangle my feet off the ledge of whatever shitty building I was on now. As expected, that lanky ass fool sat down right next to me.

“So, where are you going, miss uh… strange power lady?”

“I don’t kno-” I cut myself off and looked at him strangely. “Wait, why are you even here?”

“Well funny story," he huffed out, looking over at me. His masked eyes contracted as he continued to just look at me in silence for several minutes. I was seconds away from physically shoving him off of the building. For someone who apparently couldn't keep his mouth shut when I wanted him to, he was as silent and one of those monks now when I actually wanted to hear his whiny voice. Then, just as I was about to snap, he lifted his chin and squared his shoulders.

"Have you ever heard of the Avengers?”

Like any normal person on the planet, I obviously had. I may not have been in New York while it was being leveled by aliens over a decade ago, but a person would have to be seriously deprived of outside stimuli to not know who the Avengers were.

Instead of speaking to the impertinent, entirely too perky Avenger at my side, I just glared, sending a message loud enough that even the most inept individual would comprehend me.

“Woah, woah, don’t shoot! You could be like, a really weird and reclusive alien for all I know at this point. The boss didn’t exactly give me all the details when he sent me out to trail you. I don’t even know your name, which tells me that we actually don’t know a whole lot about you…,” he trailed off his rambling as he finally realized I was now staring at him expectantly, waiting to get a word in edgewise.

“My name is Kaida, and I’m not a good person. Also, thanks for the invitation to join your little cult, but I’m going to have to pass.” I stood to leave and find shelter for tonight when all of a sudden a schnick sounded and webbing surrounded my foot, holding me in place.

That sneaky little son of a bitch.

“No can do, we’re going to talk this one out. Either you agree to come in and meet the team or you get to sit here all night and listen to me ramble about them and what ridiculously stupid things we’ve all been up to in the past few months. Your call… Kaida.” He said my name as though it could take form, leap up and bite him.

“Okay Spider, I see you want to play hardball. You take that mask off and I’ll come with you to ‘meet the team’ or whatever touchy-feely bullshit y’all are into over there. But I’m not agreeing without some kind of skin in the game other than my own.” I lifted my chin, triumphantly, secure in the knowledge that he would never reveal his identity to a complete stranger, especially while various factions of the government and private entities were trying to round up enhanced individuals.

Spidey scoffed. “That’s it? It’s not like I was going to leave it on once we got to the tower anyways so, here you go I guess,” and he ripped away his mask as though it didn’t faze him in the slightest.

He was… younger than I had expected. Cute, in a safe, boring schoolboy kind of way.

“What are you, twelve??” I all but shouted at him. There’s no way this kid was the real deal, a bona fide Avenger that had helped save numerous lives, my own included if you count what happened just a few years back.

“I’m twenty-two, thanks though. If I’m twelve, I’ve gotta say you’re a toddler. Granted, a toddler with wicked skills but it’s not like you’re even really an adult at this point, are you? Why aren’t you with your pare-.”

“For one thing, they’re dead. Secondly, I’m twenty but I guarantee you I’ve seen shit that you can’t really even comprehend. Even outside of all the crazy whack alien bullshit you all seem to be attracting. It really ages a person, or so I’ve heard.”

“Oh look at you, pulling the big bad ‘I’m so tough because I’m an orphan and my life wasn’t sunshine and roses’ act. Literally, everyone has bad shit happen to them. From what I’ve just seen and from what we’ve caught on security monitors, you’re wickedly talented and could actually use your powers to help others. Unless you’re too much of a coward, I know we do deal with ‘crazy whack aliens’ and all, but it shouldn’t be hard for a big kid like yourself, huh?”

I had half a mind to blow him off the roof right then and there. Rage swirled in the pit of my gut so violently, I might have vomited had I eaten at all in the past day or so. The wind picked up and began buffeting around the Spider guy and myself, throwing debris from decrepit roof and buildings towards us. All of the shrapnel conveniently avoided my person, but Spidey was dancing back and forth like a puppet on a string.

Deep breaths Kaida, deep breaths. We wouldn’t want another Wizard of Oz-esque incident. Again. I often found myself talking to myself in different perspectives to calm down. Anger, improperly channeled was a very dangerous thing for me, and honestly, I was being a brat just like he was. No need to level an entire city block just for this one intrusive, presumptuous asshat who dressed up like a fucking spider. I wasn’t about to tell him that though.

The wind died down almost immediately. Until it didn’t.

Not a minute later, the biggest bolt of lightning I’d ever seen struck a building a block or so away, no doubt short-circuiting every device plugged in at that residence. Two seconds later there was a solid thunk and next to Spider-Man loomed perhaps the most handsome being in the known universe, Thor. King of Asgard.

“You hit your panic button Man of Spiders. Are you in need of assistance… carrying bags?” Thor looked at you, tied down, and your bags tossed askew, then back at Spidey. Quizzically, he opened his palm and sent a burst of lightning up into the sky, as if looking for something. “All seems to be in perfectly good spirits here, no strange magics… so.”

“Listen, man, two minutes ago she was literally shaking the building so hard I thought we were all going down. I just don’t know how… all I did was ask her some questions, maybe play hardball with her a little,” he just shrugged at the god apologetically.

“Hi, I exist too, and I can speak for myself,” I asserted, repositioning my body so I wasn’t standing quite so hunched over. “We,” I continued, looking at Spidey, “would love your assistance in getting my bags back to wherever this team inspection or meeting is supposed to happen.” Anything to get inside and secure, before I lost it completely.

“As you wish, Lady of the Winds,” Thor almost yelled, thrusting a cane into the sky.

“No, Thor wai-.”

Before the insect could finish whatever he was trying to say, we were engulfed in a kaleidoscope of bright colors and rushed away in the blink of an eye.

So much for having a normal, Wednesday evening.

If you’d like to be tagged in future chapters (I have 28 written) drop me a message or reblog this!! As always, reblogs and comments are appreciated!

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raccoonskoodilypoopdungeon · 5 years

Text

“The Firebird Trilogy” by Claudia Gray: A Review from an Eighteen Year-Old Teenager Doing a Bachelor’s in Biology

"So does destiny create the math, or does math create our destiny?" "Insufficient data," Paul said.

How did I get here?

So, my friend and I were talking, as friends do, and we went through this rabbit hole involving Powerpuff Girls Z and Zenith. And we came to the topic of A Thousand Pieces of You.

In short, we don’t like it. She stopped at this book. I continued because I was interested enough. That was a mistake. An generous 2/5.

And this isn’t like a thing where all of my friends disliked it. Only the two of us disliked it. Everyone else liked it.

I know I’m not the demographic. I’m not a white girl doing a Bachelor of Fine Arts. I’m asian doing a Bachelor of Science. But whatever.

Imma go into a full review.

Spoilers under the cut.

Good Things:

1. Dimensional Travel. It was the only thing that kept me reading.

2. A sort of exploration of Jean Paul Sartre’s Existence vs Essence

3. The cover art is really nice. It so good. Its like home decoration to me it’s so good.

4. Says “Capitalism is bad.” I like that.

Bad Things:

1. The Characters: Paul and Theo really like Margarita

- Marguerite Caine: I’m not like other girls

Margarita is our protagonist. She’s not like other girls.

We’re pretty different, for sisters—she’s average height while I’m tall; she’s athletic while I’m anything but. She inherited our parent’s love of science and is following in Dad’s footsteps by becoming an oceanographer; I’m the odd duck in the family, the artsy one. Josie’s laid-back while I freak out about every little thing.

She has no interest in science. In a household... where everyone is a scientist. As someone who’s lived in a household where everyone’s a doctor, all of my siblings and I are in some sort of science background. My sister’s a medical doctor, my brother’s a Master in Psychology, and I’m doing a Bachelor’s in Biology. I have no doubt it can happen. But it happens a lot in young adult. I’m tired of humanities main characters. I love the humanities. I don’t know why but everyone I know in science has some sort of humanities background. Everyone in my family can play instruments and paints and does photography.

And can I just say how pretentious that ending was? Here’s my painting its a unique perspective from seeing my alternate dimension selves. She plagiarised herself. She basically plagiarised her alternate dimension selves. I’ll save those in later

- Paul Markov: Nerdy Love Interest

Love interest. Also Russian. Don’t know who he is.

- Theo Beck: Nerdy Love Interest 2: Bad Boy Boogaloo

Love interest. French(?). Does drugs to stay in bodies because idk.

- Henry Caine: Dad

Like the Beatles.

- Sophia Kovalenka: Mom

Depressed without dad.

- Josie Caine: The pretty one

The pretty one. Died in an alternate universe.

- Wyatt Conley: I see why you like Josie

Rich. Villain. Oh... but he’s in love with Josie. Oh no.

As you can see. The characters are well fleshed out. I have headcanons for all of them. Margarita hates sciences because her sister is good at it and she has to be good at something in her family so she pursues the arts. Paul and Theo have no reason to like Margarita. She’s whiny and really unlikeable. But here we are.

2. The Science: So that science huh?

This is a science fiction novel with a murder mystery element. It should something I should be gushing and loving it.

But the science is, uh, meh?

So, there’s this thing called a Firebird. And this miracle baby lets you travel between dimensions. I’m no physicist. The best of my physics knowledge involves how organisms abuse the universe’s physics engine.

The most unrealistic thing about the science here is... the fact that these people got funding. The firebird’s supposed to revolutionise modern science. And I can see how, steal info from other dimensions. But no one with enough funding would be interested. And I get that Wyatt would be interested because he could be funding from Capitalist Dimension. I get that. Okay. Fine.

But the explanation. The Firebird is made of materials that easily move between dimensions, can grab onto consciousness, and leaves a dimensional trace. What material? How does it grab onto the consciousness? What is the dimensional trace? We don’t know because Margarita doesn’t know because ALL THE SCIENTISTS WON’T TELL HER BECAUSE SHE WON’T UNDERSTAND?!?! Anyone with a PhD in science is a nerd that will jump at any opportunity to tell you how something works. You might not understand but they will try their damned hardest. AT LEAST GIVE US PHLEBOTINUM!!

There’s this whole thing where Paul explains how universes are formed because of an asymmetry and that sort of let’s us travel between dimensions and that lets us save dimensions being destroyed. Oh yeah, there’s a plot where the Capitalist Dimension wants to destroy universes to get all the fragments of Josie because that’s how consciousness works. I don’t know how it works. These people do. Whatever. But it feels like... how do you get enough energy to create enough antimatter to destroy entire universes? I don’t know but they’ve probably done enough research and experiments. Fine. How did they invent the solution though? They didn’t have the time to do any experiments or research. Oh well.

Also consciousnesses apparently show up in CT scans. Which means they’re altering the brains of these people. That’s a human rights violation. Never mind the highjacking free will thing. This would never, and I mean never, be approved. I had a research proposal where I would feed Tilapia feed that had little bits of microplastics to see how microplastics affect growth and everything. That was not approved due to ethical reasons. They’re even stricter on humans. Shocking.

3. Existence vs Essence: Does that mean I fell in love with every Paul, everywhere?

Now Claudia Gray has the idea there. But it really falls flat and the potential it had made it worse. If you want a young adult series that handles this idea well go read The Monogatari Series by Nisioisin. Its not in the entire series but in one of the books, Kabukimonogatari.

The entire series is filled with fauxlosophy on this whole thing from Jean Paul Sartre. Admittedly I’m no philosophy major. I took a college philosophy 101 class. That’s my whole thing. I got an A in that class. Those are my credentials.

But Margarita keeps asking if she falls in love with one Paul is it all the Pauls? And if someone in an alternate universe is a murderer does that make her a murderer. But, and this is important, we learn that Firebirds don’t actually find alternate versions of you but a genetically identical version of you that isn’t already in that universe. You see where I’m getting at. They even have a conversation with all the Margaritas she’s ruined in the Sextuplet Universe where she’s sextuplets Osomatsu-san style.

Her questioning was pointless especially since it continues after this point. And she tries so hard to be like, “but if my circumstances were different I’d be Murderer!Margarita.” And Mob Psycho 100 by One deals with this concept really well. Mob gets transported into an alternate world, with no memories, and spends six months there being bullied with no friends or anyone to confine to. He ends up evil. And the villain goes on to say like, “see, you’re only good because of your circumstances!” when Mob gets his memories back. And Mob goes, “that’s right. i’ve been shaped by the people around me and my circumstances. I should be grateful!”

Claudia Gray’s solution is basically Paul goes like “don’t worry because you guys are mathematically close but different so you guys are fundamentally different.” Which is like, no. They’re arguing that essence comes before existence. Which is kinda supported by the fact that every incarnation of her is an artist. Like, not a single Margarita likes science in the multiverse. That makes zero sense. Like what?

In conclusion please do not read this. Or do. Lots of people like this.

#a thousand pieces of you #ten thousand skies above you #a million worlds with you #the fire bird series #claudia gray #review #rant kinda

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roxannepolice · 6 years

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But yah rey as a character is just so frustrating you know? Cause like, yeah sure she could be complex with a powerful arc where shes forced to come to terms with the fact she wasted years of her life on self-imposed delusions in a cathartic way, or she could be a flat piece of marketing cardboard which Disney is banking on vagina+superpowers=profit without having to go through that persnicty character flaw overcoming or the like. Because like you said, hearing shes a nobody (which ngl, her assuming she was a somebody wasn’t really ever supported in tfa, just that her family was coming back and she desperately wanted them to) is apparently the worst thing but it changes absolutely nothing, not her approach, not her demeanor , if vaguely sad is the absolute worse a character is gonna experience in a goddamn space opera then yeah, full offense ill take the l on Mary sue discourse but her character will definitely be a boring ass wash. We all make fun of whiny new hope Luke but him being a kinda nuisance to both the audience and those around him is what made is transformation into full blown Jedi knight so powerful. With Rey so far what weve got is badass perfect cinnamon roll finally get her due as such, which is clearly working for some people, but I fail to see how that isn’t spectacularly tone deaf to make a protag in this genre such. Operas about drama, not patting you on the back. Rey (assuming she remains as is) would’ve been fine as a protag s the only piece of Star Wars media we ever got was a new hope. But rn she a chosen one architype (and I know that bunch of ppl are gonna go but the series ‘but shes not the chosen one, Anakin still is, the new series isn’t trying to make her one!’ but lets not beat around the burning bush, if u got a character that walks on water and the reason why is because god said so, ur dealing with a chosen one trope and if a character is star wars is made ultrapowerful in lore breaking ways because force said so? Yeah were dealing with a chosen one.) when we had both the deconstruction and the reconstruction done. Shes a straight hero when the success of the ot rest on hitting the formula near perfect the first time. What exactly is Rey, the individual character, bringing to the table? What makes her story supposedly so important the a perfectly good ending had to be made invalid to tell it? A bunch of ppl will say heroines’ journey! But if that’s the case I gotta say, wheres all the feminine shit? Im serious, if the heroines journey is reintegrating the feminine and realizing ‘oh shit mom had a point’ there where is both the feminine skills/coping mechanism and the mom? I mean I saw some ppl arguing for leia in a ‘reys Persephone!’ meta (she isn’t, you can make a much better case for ben himself as Persephone to be quite frank, yall are focusing so much on the trees ((girl gets abducted by guy)) that u forgot the forest existed, the actually story ((girl winds up queen on the underworld, well gee whiz which character just took control of that after leaving the world of living and a grieving divine mother behind, it’s a mystery apparently) behind, it’s a mystery apparently) ((but seriously though even if we hope for dark rey does anyone assume its gonna be taking control of a dark/dead coded org at least partially at this point, do you, do you really??). but given the fact she had what, one line of screen dialogue that’s breaking ur arm with that stretch. As far as skills go I guess you could make an argument for scavenging, but if that’s the case dlf did a shit job of conveying that as female-coded. Everything about rey in tfa seems deliberately androgynous, and yeah, she had her hair let down/mascara moment, but that’s tied to her ‘failure’ on the supremacy thus something nw.SPEAKIGN OF FAILURES ON THE SUPERAMCY AND LACK THERE OF. I find it kind funny that bunch of reylo bnfs (you know who they are) are all ‘hur dur fanboys/antis are dumb and don’t get story structure.’ And then going, ‘why are yall asking how/assuming rey fucked up in throne room/climax of her story in the second portion/darkest point of her character arc? Why do you hate women/ur own ovaries so much?’ because it like walking into a prefurnished house and being told by the relator ‘HERES THE LIVING ROOM’ and having no damn couch. It’s a living room, I expect a couch here. And in a movie where it’s the low point of a character arc and they drag puppet yoda out to tell me the movie is about failure, I expect a damn failure in whats clearly the climax of the characters arc for this movie. As it stands now there are three possibilities imo. 1st, rey had no failure, she is the pure badass maid o light ppl want and every inch the boring cardboard she is accused of by fanbros, remains static, and is relegated to an also ran to benlo taking the most compelling character trophy this trilogy in 10 yrs2nd possibility and the one im hoping for, failure speech wasn’t just thematic explanation but also foreshadowing, rey fucks up big and dramatic in a way that makes her manage to stand out as unique with both her contemporaries and her predecessors(last part, if its ever to much lemme know pls im sorry i just gotta get it out) 3rd and most likely possibility, rey isn’t the main character, benlo is and that’s why his failure both moral in the throne room and logistic on criat take center stage for the last third or so of the movie. Rey is merely a pov character to tell the dramatic villain protag story they wanted and have their very marketable unproblematic Disney heroine cake too.

Ok, so this discourse kinda died down by now, but thanks to that it’s possible to maybe have a calmer look at it I’m totally not trying to justify my late response.

Anyway, the good result is that quite recently my brother, who’s not overly taken with Rey - or the sequels in general, for that matter - said something which really stuck with me as a possible crux of the problem:

She’s neither comical nor tragical. Just bland.

This neither comical nor tragical really struck me. And the more I though about it, the more it was appearing to me that this qualm really applies to the sequels as a whole. The thing is that DLF are essentially telling a straightforward story that they’re trying to make captivatingly convoluted. And not just make, but keep this appearance over four years. And this is... a narrative teeth crasher. Like, when you’re honest about the endgame (in the context of the most structural meanings of comedy and tragedy), you can maintain a decorum, though you can also play with it, of course, whereas when you don’t want to be honest about the endgame, you end up mixing the styles somewhat messily. You can’t break or discuss with the rules without acknowledging them, so to speak. Because the originals were honest about the happy/hopeful endgame (the first episode is title A New Hope ffs), they could allow themselves deeply tragic moments like Larses’ deaths, Han getting frozen, destruction of Alderaan, etc. Because the prequels were open about being a tragedy, they could allow themselves lighthearted comic relief for the sake of lighthearted comic relief.

The sequels... badly want us to consider the possibility of FO winning and Ben dying unredeemed while simultaneously insisting we root for those things not happening, while appearing conscious we’re definitely not buying the former and the latter only somewhat. And it’s tiresome. Dishonest. And indeed, bland. If the story is a tragedy it will be a bloodcurdlingly real one, if it’s a comedy it will be a borderline grotesque one.

But yeah, returning to Rey, I guess as the main character she’s a lens which focuses the above problems. A very bitter tragedy of what her parents did t her prevents her from being comfortably comical whereas whoohooos I like thats and prancing like a husky on red bull over idols and visions because it’s for children so it must be hopeful prevents her from being intriguingly tragical. So I guess the intentioned effect was tragicomism but, from pov of an engaged casual fan that is my bro, it’s neither.

As far as Rey’s heroine’s journey lacking some of the usual elements, I blame it on Disney being... a bit too ambitious, maybe. I think they tried to make a heroine’s journey that isn’t ostentaciously seeped in traditional feminine/masculine traits, maintains the structure without what could be called accidentals. On the one hand, I would point out that hero’s journey has pretty much desexualised itself over time, we are rather accustomed to “shero’s” journeys, but on the other... maybe Disney set out on a too novel a territory and may crack their teeth on it, alongside trying to out-Vader Vader at redemption. To elucidate, “toxic femininity” in which a heroine is supposed to find herself in the beginning of her journey, in Rey’s case is uprooted from any of our usual concepts of feminine-masculine social roles (it’s space, duh). My interpretation is that Rey’s version of toxic femininity kind of exists in contrast with Kylo Ben’s version of toxic masculinity - and since the apparent focus of the story is the attitude towards the past/parent figures, toxic femininity would mean her clutching onto the past. Which is why I predict that some act of IX will find Rey inebriated with apparent success in masculine world, meaning she’ll be the one rejecting the old gods this time - and I would point out that panel in Poe comic where she shows herself more sceptical towards idolisation of past don’t mind me, I’m just expressingmy trash dreams for a proper sith lady Rey.

Then again, Rian Johnson said she already found perfect balance between Luke’s clinginess and Kylo’s rejection of the past, so... idk, maybe I’m giving DLF too much credit again.

As for the Persephone thing, I guess the rub is that this reylo reading focuses less on the traditional reading of the myth (where Demeter is the actual main character and Kore is a Princess Peach MacGuffin) and more of an interpretation of it as one of the eldest (at least in Europe) versions of story depicting a transition of a girl into a woman, making Persephone more of a protagonist.

Like, y’know, this Persephone (D. G. Rosetti, source: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Proserpine_(Rossetti_painting))

I’m no expert, but myths can lose their original meanings because of power relations (anyone still remember about Dionysus, the god associated with excessive drinking, going through a very Christ-like death and resurrection?) and I think it’s possible that this is the case with the story of Persephone becoming a pre-scientific explanation of seasons changing over the year. So teah, that’s how I always understood the Persephone theme regarding Rey.

But yes, I must agree that I’m confused about Disney’s handling of the mother figure, which... Look, SW became a legend of a modern myth because of how epically Lucas handled the hero dealing with his very explicit father. So yes, I don’t understand what exactly is their game with Rey Nobody from Nowhere in this regard. It’s one thing that they had a cool idea with giving her no lineage, another that parent figures are an essential element of archetypal journeys and from symbolic viewpoint the case of a female character the biological relationship is even more crucial than in male’s. And I swear to all the ewoks and porgs in the galaxy, I do hope Disney’s idea of Rey healing the mother/daughter divide isn’t through her healing the divide between Leia and Ben. Again, this isn’t the idealistic sphere. Just... no.

Anyway, I still maintain hope (this whole meta blog is built on hope) that Rey will indeed turn out to have a proper personal mistake which will make her stand out in the saga. I do have to admit, though, that I find your last theory very likely. I mean, even when I read all the reylo metas going oh, Rey is going to have such an exciting arc in IX, she has so much to deal with though of course it’s not going to compromise her morally, it will be sooo exciting, I just... f*ck’s sake, what you’re describing isn’t a dramatic character only a dramatised role model. It’s great if that’s your thing, but don’t claim it is space opera-worthy, in operas people drown themselves because of cursed sailors, kill over a break up, decapitate over a bad dream and get dragged to hell over a dinner, not persuade their fallen lovers to change their ways, let alone patienly wait for them the understand the error of their ways (and if they do it’s doomed to end in someone dying).

#asks #sw negativity #just because i love doesn't mean i can't be critical #heroine's journey #long asks anon

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dysfunctionalnerd · 6 years

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prof lay zelda au??

i,,,, dont know how to add a cut so like,, sorry if this gets long I'm making this up as I go

I guess hersh is link cuz hes like courageous? and hes got like main character syndrome

or maybe zelda cuz hes wicked smart

fuck it hersh is zelda

uhhhhhhhh luke is link?? whacking all this moblin bastards cuz some power crazed thot decided to kidnap hersh cuz hes smart and got a yellow triangle

London hyrule I guess (lorule lol)

it's like hyrule except big Ben and bricks but like castles too I guess

hersh is like a prince but like only in title bc he actually gives all his money away and just lives in this little flat I guess and tries to live his best life despite having this lil yellow mark on his hand

and one day he comes across this like kinda roudy luke kid who at first hes like g od this kid is rude but like then luke brings him like a cuccoo egg bc somehow he learned that that's his fav produce ???????? point is he sees this kid has a big heart and grows fond of him and like adopts him I guess

but then Ganondorf!!!

but it's not ganondorf its ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, uh,,,, don Paulo

except hes like a fake ganon (think zant) but regardless he thinks he can rule everything and he wants that triforce!!

hersh feels the disturbance when don Paulo is like at it and hes like luke I'm gonna go see what's up cuz like technically I'm still a prince

but luke is like i!! wanna go with you!! and BAM yellow light and holy shit hes got a triforce piece too

and hersh is like wHAT

and like idk hersh is like u cant get involved I dont want u hurt so he like,, leaves without telling luke

turns out his fencing skills fall short of don paulos nast magic given to him and he get Kidnapped like a Loser

and the adventures of luke begins I guess

so like luke is out there solving puzzles and fucking up ancient temples n shit I guess and he meets emmy!! who gives him his horse!!

but it's a donkey

anyways they're best friends now

oh along the way he meets some random ass dude called randall?? luke nonchalantly tells him everything bc hes a roudy kid and suddenly this weirdo is super interested and worried?? weird

luke noticed randall is like Not So Suddenly following him but by the 3rd temple he figures this guy isnt actually getting in the way so it's like whatever I guess

but still creepy so he confronts the guy and hes like Hey!!! What the Fuck!!!

and randall confesses that when hersh and he were kids they lived in a big castle together and were best friends!!!

but then hersh hated the bougie 1% castle life and left without telling randall. bummer!

and Randall's been like searching for him since

now we know why hersh always absolutley refused to give his name to the papers!!

also hes a prince that would totally suck if the media knew it was him

anyway so luke and randall team up now and face don paulo

turns out randall ain't shit at fighting but he does know where some cool ass sword is (think of him as like navi or midna. he provides info)

luke has some generic but kinda powerful sword now yay ! time to fuck up some temple bc randall thinks that's smart

in the temple luke gets some kind of magic violin then??? and he can like,,,,,, aquire the power of the animals r some bs like that

time to head to don paulos

theres this big dialogue where luke is like gIVE ME BACK MY BEST FRIEND and don paulo is like Haha u ain't shit kid

turns out he is and don Paulo gets fucking destroyed

but????? no clue to hershs whereabouts when this fool falls???

and suddenly BAM luke gets taken by the hand by this weird but oddly familiar guy in this funky top hat and top hat man just fucking tears luke away from the now crumbling castle room place

luke is like hey What The Fuck

and top hat man is like you have a terrible fate ahead of you but you must save the prince

did I forget to mention luke doesnt know hersh is a prince

so luke is like prince????????

and top hat man is like yea so now u gotta go to this one shithole village nobody knows of and speak to the one the call buffoon

and the top hat man vanishes in a cryptic wave of leaves I guess

randall was there I guess but he only saw top hat man for like 1 second at the end and just fucking sCREAMS

and luke is like what the fUCK is going on

and randall is like do u not know??? r u serious??? but figures it's best he not know yet if this is what top hat man intended

so they go to shithole village and ???? it is not a buffoon, but flora!!

and this time flora is IMPORTANT and VITAL to the plot

flora is like hello they call me buffoon but I'm actually just a lesbian girl everyone here is just home of phobia

and luke is like wow hey cool literally the rest of London hyrule doesnt care pls leave shithole village

and flora is like I cant!! I'm protecting the master sword!

the master sword

floral like dont fcking touch it

luke touches it like an idiot

so luke pulls that shit out and darkness sweeps over the place

and oh dear heres the root of don paulos power!! turns out is Descoganon behind it all

luke tries to fight descole but like too powerful so he gets a Defeat

descoles like buahahahahaha u fool this isnt even my final form and he fuckin dives to finish off luke

but!

top hat man!

he like appears in front of luke and is devoured but descoganons darkness

but before that his top hat falls off and !!!!!!!! wow what a surprise its hersh

luke is like NO I was a FOOL I was too BRASH!! I am not courageous, but dumb!

and Randall's crying I guess but hes like it's not ur fault

and floras like I'm mad at u for pulling out that sword but I mean hes right in order to defeat descole u need to strike him with that sword

so of to descoganons we go!

oh yeah flora joined the team bc turns out shes a fucking BADASS magician

also she constantly gives randall shit for not being able to fight

you thought you heard the last of Emmy but no!! shes back again bc I said so!!!

she wants to join the team too and luke is like cool more horses

everyone's has a cool ass horse except luke who has his dumb lil DONKEY

hes pissed but also grateful he doesnt have to walk by foot but also a fucking donkey???? seriously???

and emmy's like fucking deal with it you whiny ass man

so yeah master sword and magic violin in hand luke calls upon the animals to aid him in battle and it's off to descoles we go!!!

wow this place is DARK

and also the iconic castle that everyone cherishes is now in ruins

and in the most concentrated area of darkness is hersh trapped, glowing just a little bit but fading fast

and luke is like FACE ME DESCOLE U COWARD

and he does

and hes like boutta lose again and flora is like NO! I awaken ur full power!!

and his triforce glows!!!! he is powerful! full of courage!

but descole starts fucking tearing appart in laughter

hes glowing too! he has a triforce too!! he has them all

if you've ever played any zelda game ever this is when descole turns into some pig

but alas by the power of the magic animal violin and the master sword he is defeated

flora dealt the most damage and at the end she was like luke u gotta stab him now and he was like uh ok I guess

voila!! hersh is no longer trapped in darkness!! nor is the rest of London

oh yeah Randall's gay for hersh duh first thing he does is run to him being like remember me???? doesnt matter I'm nursing you to health now

bc I SAID SO

oh but first luke runs to him crying and hugs him and is like pls dont ever leave like that again dad

and hersh is like did.... did u call me dad??? and he cries too and they hug

(except halfway through hersh collapses and luke is struggling to try and keep him from falling. how did this weak boy defeat such an all powerful being?????)

yeah hersh and randall get married flora gets a gf and happily ever after

oh and claire is like the goddess of London who made the damn triforce bc why the fucking hell not

so anyways yeah uhhhhhh someone tell nintendo to fucking hire me

#long post #professor layton #the legend of zelda #zelda au #hershel layton #luke triton #emmy altava #flora reinhold #randall ascot #ranlay #sorry its 6am i havent slept yet and i got struck with a goddamn stroke of fucking genius #im not making this fanfic tho someone else can do that if they want i guess #claire foley

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