#the mcr addiction is getting to me

[pissworm39]

A new day means another day where mcr5 can be announced!!

[vacantseance]

One of my greatest achievements was when I sent a toxic af friend a whole rant on how horrible she was then followed it up with a link to I’m not okay by MCR before blocking her to get her toxic bad vibes away from my cornflakes.

[basementbotanist]

awake at 4am taking photos of my boyfriend while he sleeps and making a nightcore playlist to show everyone who follows me on spotify just how well im doing mentally

[gayshitanddadjokes]

The worst thing about having a self-harm addiction is that it isn't taken seriously as an addiction. I get cravings, I relapse, I was dependent on self-harming for over a year, but that isn't taken seriously as an addiction. There isn't a substance involved so it isn't an addiction. Sometimes I feel like I don't deserve to be able to call myself an addict even though I know that I am one. Whenever I try to tell anyone about it they get this mental image of the stereotyped emo kid self harming to MCR 'to feel something' and laugh when I try to call it an addiction (not that that isn't totally valid. It's where a lot of us started, myself included). I can't confess that this is something I struggle with because my own mother told me that I wasn't actually addicted, there just wasn't a better word for someone who self harms. Of course, it not being treated as an addiction helps in a social sense due to all the stigma around addicts, but it has its own stigma.

[legitalicat]

Too Sweet - Modern!Aegon Targaryen ii x reader

AN: Hello my beautiful people! I hope you enjoy this story. It started as a little love note to the song "Too Sweet" by Hozier because I feel it's very Aegon coded. It then became kind of an amalgamation of a few different stories. My own story and journey with alcoholism and recovery played a big part in this, and as I wrote it parts of my feelings about my older brother, who is in active addiction, came into play. Please know that this is not everyone's story. Recovery from addiction looks different for most everyone. I truly overcame my addiction through building community and connections. I know many people who have to work a program to succeed. I know a person who actually did get a degree after a near lifetime of addiction and now he does a lot of things to help our local community in treating addiction. So really, this is a love letter to people like me and my brother. There is hope and I believe in every one of you.

Link to the TED Talk mentioned.

TW: blatant talks of alcoholism and substance abuse, talks of rehab, family issues, abusive family subtext yet never explicitly stated, gonna say it's kinda angsty, FLUFF

Pairings: Aegon Targaryen ii x reader

Word count: almost 3k

The soft pads of her feet made barely any noise as she walked into his bedroom, carrying a mug in each hand and wearing nothing but his MCR tee-shirt. Technically, they should both be in a deep sleep by now. It was fast approaching four in the morning and neither of them had bothered to close their eyes once. It was all he could to not hold her close in bed and stare at her captivating beauty.

When Aegon first saw her, weeks ago, he was stunned. It was the first time he had gone to the new bar right down the road from his apartment and it just so happened it was karaoke night. He had been tempted to turn around when he heard a horrendous rendition of his favorite Hozier song. But then she took the mic from her drunken friend, and it was as if the heavens parted and the gods showed him the future Mrs. Aegon Targaryen.

“Your coffee, sir,” she said to him as she handed him a mug. “No worries, it’s as black as your soul,” she added with a teasing grin.

“Thank you, beautiful,” he said as he took the mug from her.

She was truly a lesson in divinity for him. Aegon didn’t truly believe she was the most gorgeous woman on the planet. There would be people who would think she was average looks, maybe even less than that, but he didn’t need her to be more beautiful than anyone else. He wanted her exactly as she was. Beautiful like a spring day, teeming with beauty in the most natural of ways. Like one would think of a cherry blossom tree, or their favorite flower. Simple and breathtaking, a reminder of life and truth on a fundamental level.

He knew it the moment they locked eyes in that bar. Her voice shook from nerves as she sang in front of the crowd of strangers. When she looked at him, and he at her, he felt joyful for the first time in years. All of the stupid shit with his family, the years of drowning his sorrows in whiskey and wine and any other drug, none of it mattered.

If he were honest, he couldn’t remember how he got so lucky. He knew he approached her once she was done singing and complimented her. By the end of the night she was nestled beside him in bed, and he’d be damned if he ever let her leave.

“Gods, you’re amazing,” he muttered as he watched her. He knew she was drinking hot chocolate, finding the taste of coffee much too bitter.

“What was that?” she asked him when she pulled the mug away from her face. She had a bit of whipped cream on her upper lip, making his heart feel like it was on the brim of exploding.

He leaned forward, just barely, and lifted his hand to wipe the cream away with his thumb. She gave him a cute little smile when it brushed against her lips, puckering them to press a kiss to his skin. When he pulled his hand away and sucked the cream off, he heard her giggle.

“This is why you’re so sweet. Where most people drink whiskey and coffee, you put sugar in your sugar and drink it until the sun comes up,” he told her. Of course, he was teasing her.

“Because unlike you, Mr. Listen to Sad Music Even When I’m Happy, I like to enjoy things. The good things. The sweet things, like whipped cream and hot chocolate and fruit loops in bed on Saturday mornings. I just think I live a better life than you,” she told him. She was grinning from ear to ear.

If Aegon wasn’t so afraid of rejection, he would tell her how he loved her. He loved that she wanted to eat sweets at all times. He loved that she teased him for listening to My Chemical Romance or Asking Alexandria, calling it all sad music, even when she would listen right alongside him. He loved that she would start crying at the Wonka movie near the end, unashamed about feeling overwhelmed by the backstory.

If he weren’t so afraid she didn’t love him, he would tell her. He knew it had only been a few weeks, that all logic points to love at first sight being nothing more than him just getting turned on by her appearance. But how could he not love her when she sat in bed with him like this after making him a cup of coffee before the sun had even risen? How could one resist the gentleness of her touch when they watched TV together and she insisted on holding his hand? How could he be expected to watch her hyper fixate on a book or a video game, talking about it for hours on end with so much passion she always ended up wound up and breathless?

“You’re too sweet for me,” he told her as he laid back against the head board. He gently pulled her into his side, wanting to have her as close as humanly possible.

His words were met with an amused chuckle. She didn’t fight his hold on her, instead melting into him as though it was where she had always been.

“Tell me about your family,” she said quietly. “I mean, I’ve not been further than ten feet from you for weeks and you haven’t said the first word about them.”

He could feel his jaw clench as she asked him. His family was a complicated and sensitive subject. Even though he wished he never had to speak to her about them, he knew he had to if he had any hopes of them becoming more than just a passion fueled fling.

“Not much to really say. Dad ran Draconic Industries. My older sister, Rhaenyra, is my dad’s daughter with his first wife. He made her next in line to take over the business. Me, my younger siblings, even my mom, we never really mattered much to dear old dad. He died when I was nineteen. I don’t really matter much to any of the rest of them,” he told her, tracing shapes on her bare thigh as he spoke.

“I’m sure that’s not true,” she said quickly.

“It is,” he told her without any uncertainty. “Helaena, my younger sister, hasn’t spoken to me in a few years either. I haven’t spoke to my youngest brother Daeron since we were kids. And my brother Aemond…he was the last to hold out hope for me and I burned that to the ground a long time ago. I think it’s been at least a year. My mom completely disowned me about four years ago, when I was around twenty-two, cause I refused to go to rehab again.”

She frowned softly but said nothing. He could only imagine what was going through her head at this point. If roles were reversed, he would probably be planning his exit strategy. All it felt like he told her was a sob story about a poor rich kid who can’t live off mommy and daddy anymore. He felt pathetic.

“What did you go to rehab for?” she asked him.

“Started partying when I was like twelve. Alcoholic by age fourteen. Lead to worse shit, as it does, and I overdosed when I was eighteen on some coke. My mom and grandfather checked me into rehab the following week. Have done two more stints since. Never really stuck, and I haven’t been sober for more than a few days since I was like fifteen.”

He was laying in all our there for her. He wanted her to know so she could decide if she thought he was worth the trouble. He couldn’t blame her if she ran away from him. Why would she stick around? All of his family had washed their hands of him and they were family. She was just someone he met in a bar a few weeks before.

She stayed quiet for a long time. Longer than he would’ve liked. The silence weighed on his heart like an elephant pressing against his chest. He wanted to beg her to say something, anything, just so he knew where her head was at.

Though, he noticed, she didn’t move away from him. She stayed right there, comfortable tucked into his side, occasionally sipping her hot chocolate. His own mug, still filled with coffee, had gone near forgotten in his hand. He was too focused on her.

“You know, the opposite of addiction is connection. Watched a TED Talk one time about it. They found when addicts are treated like people instead of criminals, integrating them into society instead of isolating them, they show less of a struggle with addictions. Allow their basic needs to be met, give them a community, and they thrive,” she said softly after several moments.

She sat up, her warmth leaving him. He felt lonely without her touching him even though she was still well within arm’s reach. She was all he wanted, all he needed.

“I’m not saying I can fix you. I’m not saying the cure to all your problems is me giving my heart to you. I am, however, telling you that I haven’t once seen you drunk or high or anything and we basically haven’t been apart in weeks. If you want to develop healthy connections, create a community, be a person, I am more than willing to be part of it,” she said.

His heart started beating rapidly against his chest. He knew she was right. Since being with her, he hadn’t really felt the need for anything. He had physical cravings, sure, but no mental desire. Aegon didn’t want a moment with her to be a hazy memory that he may be able to recall when he's older.

“Why?” he asked her.

“Because I love you,” she said.

The weeks and months following that night, Aegon really put in the work. Y/N had made it clear to him that she was not going to just give him everything. If he wanted this, it was on him. She was only helping him.

Together, they had found a group therapy program for him. It was ran by a man who had gotten his psychology degree a few years before, but had struggled with addiction for most of his life. That was the first step, a step Aegon felt proud he had taken once he realized he didn’t feel so alone anymore.

The next step, he decided on by himself. The group program was all well and good, but he felt a need to find a deeper explanation into himself. Once a week he found himself sitting in a therapist’s office, talking about everything and nothing all at once. They spoke about his family, his self imposed isolation from them and how that lead to them cutting off, his hopes and dreams for the future.

Through this, he found out about opportunities for volunteer work in the community. He realized he quite liked working at the local secondhand store that helped people in need. He even brought her with him on the Saturdays he worked a shift, turning it into something they enjoyed together.

Even at work, he began reaching out more. If the opposite of addiction was connection, then by the gods he was going to make connections. His coworkers were enough to give him a good laugh. All of them were extremely proud of the progress he made, always encouraging him. He found that little bit alone made it easier for him to be more himself. In the conversations he was able to have with his coworkers, he talked about shows, movies, and music he liked and became friends with a few of them.

It was with this progress, along with the support Y/N provided, that Aegon found himself at the door of his family’s estate. He hadn’t been here in years. He knew all of his younger siblings still lived here. Helaena’s bright yellow VW Beetle sat parked in the driveway, Aemond’s motorcycle probably laid in parts in the garage, and Daeron had always been more content taking a town car than actually driving himself anywhere.

“You don’t have to do this, you know,” Y/N told him as she held his hand tightly. He had asked her to come with him so she could at least meet them. They needed to see how he had changed.

“I do have to. If for no other reason than to show them I’m not who they remember me to be,” he told her.

“Did you talk to Dr. Wilson about this? I mean, I just, I don’t want you to,” she said, trying desperately to find the right words. He silenced her with a kiss to her forehead.

“And I love you for it,” he said to her, holding her hand as tightly as she held his. “I’m okay with whatever happens in there.”

He knocked hard on the door. It wasn’t long before his mother answered. The ever looming presence of Alicent Hightower, never Targaryen, filled the entire space of the door frame. Her auburn curls were tied neatly back into a bun, her brown eyes widened in surprise.

The woman before him, despite being in her forties, showed no true signs of aging. There were no gray hairs scattered around her head, no fine lines or wrinkles. The only indication of a less than flawless appearance were the almost invisible lines that came from the outer corners of her eyes, put there by the fact that just like Aegon, her eyes would always squint up whenever she smiled.

“Aegon,” she said quietly. She looked at him like she saw a ghost.

“Hi, mom. Can we come in?” he asked her, biting his lip. Y/N gave his hand a small squeeze as if to remind him she was with him. He had her support every step of the way.

Alicent nodded silently and stepped to the side, allowing them entrance. The house was the same as the last time he was here. All of the old family photos hung on the walls of the hallway to the living room. The air smelled of cedar wood and spiced apples, giving it the perpetual scent of fall. It was warm and inviting, the plush couch so comfortable beneath him it was almost indicative of how much money his mother spent on it.

In a lot of ways, the house felt like his family. It was the epitome of warmth and love on first glance. When you looked closer, you could see how some of the picture frames were void of glass, having been broken in one family argument or another. There was a coat the hung on the same rack, day in and day out, hiding the hole where his head went through the wall in a drunken stupor. The paint on the walls were beginning to chip away, revealing the yellowing walls that proved how much his dad had liked to smoke. It was haunted, irreversibly scarred by the past.

A maid came around and asked the three of them if they wanted a drink. Alicent requested a glass of wine. Aegon noticed how surprised she looked when he just asked for a soda, like Y/N was having. He also noticed how she kept looking at his hand that held Y/N’s.

“And who is this?” She asked, nodding her head to Y/N.

“This is the woman I’m going to marry, Y/N,” he said confidently.

They hadn’t spoken about it, there wasn’t a ring on her finger. But he had no doubt in his mind that he would marry her. He was certain that she was who he was made for. The gods had her in mind when they designed him, knowing how much he would love her. She truly was his soulmate.

“And so you came to show her how terrible we all are?” she asked him, eyebrow raised. “Or did you come for money? Because you’re not getting a dime.”

“Neither,” he said firmly. “I just wanted you to see me, mom. I wanted to see you.”

She was surprised at his words. The last time he had spoken to her, he had been begging for money. Crying, begging. When she refused, trying to help him in the best way she knew how, he screamed at her about all of her faults. The last words he spoke to her was how he could only hope that he had the courage to kill himself before he turned into her.

“I’m sorry for…for everything,” he told her. “It wasn’t fair of me to blame everything on you.” Y/N squeezed his hand again. He looked down at their hands and he knew he was okay. He would be okay. “I’m like, eight months sober from everything. Not a drop of booze, no drugs. I have a full time job, I volunteer on the weekends at a secondhand store. I’m doing good, mom.”

Tears flooded to her eyes as she looked at him. Her oldest son, the first person she ever truly loved in a selfless manner. She had thought he was completely lost to her. The vicious creature he had been when they last saw each other had melted away entirely.

“Do you want to stay for dinner?” she asked him. He could only wordlessly nod, allowing her the time to stand from her chair and walk over to him. She hugged him tighter than she ever had.

He looked over Alicent’s shoulder at Y/N. The woman he loved was watching him with tears of her own, a smile on his face. She was good, too good, for him. She had opened his eyes to a reality he had been scared to face. But she had never once made him face it alone.

And that made all the difference.

[head-first-4halos]

sorry im houseposting. i finished it and now im in distress

wilsons piece of furniture representing him for his new condo being a gift!!! for house!!! is wild .

i like huddy in theory but i actually dont think they're good for each other. like i love their weird little enemies to lovers thing going on but i dont think there was any way that it could have ended well... AND cuddy breaking up with house was so mean. idgaf that i just said they didnt work out girl you KNEW he was an addict and yet you dumped him when he relapsed!! instead of trying to understand and help!!! please!!! "erm well house is impossible to help-" actually no he isnt because he got better the first time. no one is impossible to help they're probably just difficult.

also... i lowkey dont understand why his vicodin was that big of a problem considering how when he went through withdrawls in the earlier seasons he genuinely couldn't work....like yes how he got his prescriptions was illegal but everything he does is illegal Also that was his only way to manage his pain and everyone just shamed him for it... STOP THAT!!!! who would have guessed that the guy who feels the pain knows how to handle it the best... wow....

i need to see more masters appreciation because she is actually so cute. yes it was annoying how she followed the rules but also at least she sticks with her morals!! everyone was so mean to her and for why?? like??? shes so cutie and her outfits were so cute and she was genuinely just a nice person and no one in the diagnosis gang could handle that!!! "oh, so youre a whore... oh, so youre a dumb whore!" I LOVE YOU MASTERs

also love how the episode where she left was all serious. and then. house and wilsons bullshit going on in the background. her, laying in the dark in the ddx room going through a moral dilemma and then wilson sneaking in to kidnap his kidnapped chicken, only for it to be a fake chicken and house locks him in his office, so he jumps across the balcony outside.... i hate them and their pranks theyre so insane

HELLO the end of season 7 is CRAZY!!! i didnt expect that. i was watching it with my dad and he was like "...why would he do that... can't he just be normal...."

dr adams looks like the girl from the ghost of you music video by mcr. like scarily like her. SHES SO PRETTYY

park and adams...... toxic doctor yuri..... trust me guys......

house and wilson's synchronization will be the death of me. thats so great i love them

hilson is so heartbreaking im actually ripping my hair OUTT!!! "i need you, okay... i need you to stick around as long as possible, because i don't know what im gonna do without you." oh my glob run me over with a car right now. the way they are both each other's support. the way no one else would deal with their bs. wilson sticks by house even throughout everything because he needs house to need him... and how he spent more time with house than he did with his wives..... its even sadder in houses case because he genuinely has no one else but wilson. wilson is the only one who really understands him. stacy ruined him, cameron didnt think he could love, cuddy thought he was insane, and wilson was by his side the entire time. the whole "universal recipient/universal donor" house drains and wilson gives. BRO. i hate them actually so much. theyve ruined me

also makes me wonder whats gonna happen once wilson is gone... like.. he ws right. house only had his job and wilson and he gave up his job for wilson, so once he's dead, house will have nothing left. i genuinely think house is gonna die with wilson, because nothing else mattered to him.

"cancer is boring" ok kill me

whos gonna homoerotically speed off on a motorcycle with me...

thats all. thank you for coming to my ramble i needed to get this out and i felt bad for bothering my friend with this. (shes never watched the show but wilson is her favorite and she was very upset by the ending)

[girlgerard]

what kills me is that mcr’s demos were never finished not only for album theme/compositional reasons, but also because most of them are so intensely vulnerable. traumatically so. enough that it almost feels intrusive listening to the recordings.

desert song is about giving up and letting yourself turn into an addictive husk, letting yourself become the spectacle of a dead rockstar. bury me in black is about feeling so disconnected from your body and terrified by your own femininity that you can’t even recognize your own face in the mirror anymore. all the angels is medical horror, the macabre satisfaction of imagining all the people who failed to love you properly sobbing at your deathbed. don’t even get me started on not that kind of girl and emily.

all of these songs are something of macbeth curses - too taboo to speak aloud, too personal to mention. but they’re letting us hear them rearranged and reloved and reworked LIVE. they’re letting us sing the words. they’re letting us in. i cannot believe the level of trust and self-recognition between band and audience this show has held.

[edluv-skinandbones]

-Introduction Post-

please, please block instead of reporting. Tumblr has always been a huge comfort in giving me a sense of community and i genuinely encourage anyone wanting to recover to please go and do it 🫶 its just not something i can personally do right now for myself.

MINORS DNI PLEASE! YOU WILL BE BLOCKED

TW: 4n0r3xia, m1a, $H, addiction, drvgs

hi! i'm starting my first 3d blog after not being on 3dblr for six years and would love to be friends with more people who just get it. dms are open even if its just casual chit-chat or ranting lol.

About Me:

my name is mae, im 21. i have had really bad disordered eating since i was about eight years old. it was for a number of reasons at the time :/ but never with the intent to be skinny. i didn't aim for that until i was like thirteen and its been an obsession ever since.

i've also actively $h'ed since my teens years + 4bus3d substnc3s being in the rave scene in my city which i still love going to. i love partying too much and my functioning alcoholism is probably what gives me such a fatty beer gut lol.

i'm an emo veteran! the 2014 tumblr days were wild lol

i <3 mcr, the used, ayesha erotica, FIDLAR, millionaires, taking back sunday, ptv, msi, joyce manor, panuccis pizza, three days grace, korn, cigarettes after sex, sum 41, alex g, surf curse + any midwestern emo song tbh has my heart. lets exchange playlists!

i also <3 drag race, makeup, fashion, glamour, and making people feel fabulous! call it materialistic of me but i will always love beauty and worldly items.

my favorite activities are yoga, exercise, meditating, video gaming, and watching/engaging in any 3d media i can find lol. i also spend too many hours on AO3.

Stats:

lw: 85 lbs

hw: 120 lbs

gw: 89 lbs

ugw: 72 lbs

cw: 95.6 lbs

height: 5'0

BMI: 18.3

[rdiowx]

I need mcr to shove wider and wider things into my holes until I'm all stretched out, crying and on the verge of cumming from all of it. Then they take everything out and try to fit all of their dicks inside of me. Maybe they put giant plugs in me after to keep me stretched until they want to play with my again. Me begging for them to do it again over and over, getting addicted to the feeling of all of them fucking me at once

- 🐕

HEHEHAHAGGEGAHAAG OMG

Ofmlkaks okay okay

Them leaving you with plugs in for hours at a time so when they get back from whatever theyre doing they can use you whenever and however they want :3 and by the time they are back you’re all sweaty and slippery they’d be surprised if you hadn’t cum a few times from the plugs themselves

[how-long-till-im-a-fan-of-ptv]

Day 17

I'm starting to get this feeling that PTV is starting to become the main hoe...😨

I said it in my pinned post and I'll say it again, I'm initially an MCR fan. A very loyal one, in fact🥱🥱

But I'm starting to become too attached to PTV that I don't even REMEMBER the last time I listened to mcr😭😭😭

You guys should've tried to warn me that I'm gonna get too addicted💔💔 in my 3 years of being an MCR fan, I have collected like 460 smth pics/GIFs of them 🤑🤑 and dont let that impress you because i dont even know how many WEEKS it's been but my PTV album has like a couple thousands of pictures and its...... kinda funny ngl🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

[pissworm39]

fighting the urge to become a night vigilante

[ray-writes-n-shit]

WRITEBLR INTRO .✰

DONT FORGET YOUR DAILY CLICKS (this intro serves as a BYF, I heavily implore you at least skim through this to know what kind of content you will see on my blog!)

—OVERVIEW—

✮ hi! I’m just an emo guy with a love for writing and this is my blog for that stuff

✮ my blog is 14+

✮ my main account which is mostly saw brainrot and personal shenanigans is @coffin-hopping so you can check that blog out for stuff like my fandoms and other interests also!

✮ about my writing, I write mostly angst and just a lot of dark shit essentially, but my current work that I want to post and talk about does have a lot of potentially triggering content that I will talk more specifically about in my writing section below, so if that concerns you or if you’re curious I highly suggest reading further for both more information about me and about my work, thank you!

—ABOUT ME—

✮ my many names are ray, gage, adam, coal, dirt, + more to be added if I find them cool enough to put in my collection

✮ I am transgender and nonbinary

✮ I am bisexual and aromantic as well as aceflux

✮ proudly emo since I was ten years old and first discovered mcr

✮ my pronouns are they/he/it (though I mostly prefer they/them)

✮ I am mexican-american

✮ keep in mind that I am a minor! I don’t mind adults being on my blog, just be respectful

✮ I’m also agnostic!

—MY WRITING—

✮ this is pretty much the entire reason I made this blog lol

✮ I started writing when I was a little kid and had too many thoughts in my brain that I needed to put down on paper

✮ my favorite genres are mystery, thriller, drama-comedy, and general horror

✮ I write: thriller, realistic(ish) fiction, psychological horror, trip horror, drama, fanfiction, original fiction

✮ I do not write: romance, high fantasy, smut, rpf, slasher horror (this is not meant to say I don’t like these genres, I simply don’t write about them and don’t see myself writing about them any time soon)

✮ I currently have TWO WIPs which are still in their early stages by the name of Blessed (og work) and Cleanse Thy Soiled Hands (tlou fanfic). I hold both so dearly to my heart so please do not hesitate to send asks about them if you’re interested!

✮ Blessed is a multi-chapter drama about trauma and family, but i think I’ll give this story it’s own post

— triggering content! I like to read and writing stories with darker themes and elements, but I understand not everybody likes those same things. so here is a list of warnings to keep in mind before interacting with Blessed:

— trigger warnings: major themes of rape, child abuse (sexual, physical, emotional), grooming, addiction and substance abuse, pedophilia, incest, familial/spousal abuse, general harm towards minors and other young adult characters, general themes of abuse

— other content warnings: blood and injury, suicidal ideation and attempts, self-harm, queerphobia, general violence, depictions of mental illness

✮ Cleanse Thy Soiled Hands is a multi-chapter TLOU fanfic about the aftermath of Silver Lake and how Joel struggles with the memories of Sarah coming back to him as he and Ellie reunite and get closer over the span of winter, basically a time-fill fic that closes the gap between episodes eight and nine, strongly canon compliant

✮ here are the links to the fic on: ao3 and my masterlist (coming soon!)

— triggering content! I write generally with a lot of the same themes (such as abuse), so here are some warnings to keep in mind:

— trigger warnings: attempted/refrenced sexual assault, pedophilia, cults and cult-like behavior, grief, general harm towards minors and adult characters

— other content warnings: blood and injury, death/killing, graphic violence, guns, religious themes, cannibalism, general violence

(if you may find any of these triggering or otherwise upsetting, I advise proceeding my content with caution or not interacting with it, your mental health matters)

—BLOG BOUNDARIES—

✮ queerphobia is NOT tolerated

✮ racism is NOT tolerated

✮ ableism is NOT tolerated

✮ harassment, bullying, being an asshole, etc. is NOT tolerated

✮ DNI self proclaimed “proshippers” AND “antishippers” i don’t like either of yall sorry

✮ like I said, I’m a minor. do not be fucking weird, have some decorum

✮ this blog is a safe space, so please respectfully with love and peace go fuck yourself if you hold bigoted views or plan on being an annoying asshole

I stand with Palestine .

fuck all cops .

love yourself .

encourage recovery for others, and take your time within your own battles .

thank you for your time, please like if you’ve read this far!🖤

[jetsetkiller]

"Don't Try" from Hesitant Alien just hits so hard every time.

"Now days, they've been better, I sleep, even deader, I wake up when everyone's gone".

"Get up, get out, and be social, we can't pretend we won't go."

It perfectly captures that feeling of being in recovery, and having a shitty time, but knowing you have to push yourself to get out there and keep improving, even if it hurts. Even when you wanna rot in bed all day, and keep hurting yourself, waking up at noon when everyone's gone - but you're older and wiser now, and you have to keep pushing. It captures the bittersweet mundanity of every day life. Being depressed and in pain, but finding the silver lining, and trying to see the beauty in things. Comforting yourself, loving.

The whole album has this hazy, vintage quality to it, which makes it feel nostalgic, familiar and alien at the same time. And idk if others have caught this, but it references addiction a lot as well:

"Now, lights hurt a little, this night's been a bit of a stretch so I think I might go - just breathe in and blow."

I read this line as a reference to being drunk/hungover and being a shut-in, so when you go outside after drinking, your eyes hurt and everything is disorienting, and you want to isolate yourself. "Just breathe in and blow" makes me picture a breathalyser test.

"Sure, it takes a little mistake, all the capsules you take..."

Also another line referencing addiction, and probably antidepressants imo. Making mistakes in life and trying to learn from them. The lyrics also have themes of finding salvation in love, which is a very common theme in Gerard's writing. The song seems to tell us that it's okay to mess up, to feel depressed, to make mistakes, that it's okay to make it up as we go. That things are hard when you're older too, and it's hard sometimes, but it'll be alright.

"Grey hairs are visible, I'm kinda miserable too."

"Let's give you everything, let's find another ride home. Just give me anything, to sleep or to go."

"Make it up as we go down".

This song is a melancholic, comforting hug. It contrasts pain, suicidality, addiction, with comfort, love, and hope. It's not grandiose - it's about daily life. It helped me get through a lot in the past, so here are my random 3 am thoughts on it.

I'll never understand people who pretend like MCR or Gerard's music is immature and for pre-teens, because this stuff honestly hits harder the older you get. Weirdly under-appreciated. Anyway, stream "Don't Try".

[myheartwantstocomehome]

Very Epic Intro Post: :3

Hi!!! I’m Kovu :) There’s not really a lot to know about me to be honest… uhh i really like cheese and i play guitar?

Name: Kovu

Pronouns: He/They

From: England

Like: Cheese, Burgundy,

Dislikes: Broccoli

Please Interact if:

lgbtqia+, emo, scene, if you like any of the music i listed below, neurodivergent folk :)

MUSIC:

My spotify wrapped usually has my top artists as: 5SOS, Boys of Fall, SayWeCanFly, All Time Low

but here’s a comprehensive alphabetical list of *most* the bands i like:

a day to remember, alesana, alive like me, the all american rejects, all time low, amber pacific, american hifi, the amity, addiction , anarbor , andy black, arborview, as it is, asking alexandria, avril lavine, beartooth, before their eyes, between you and me, black veil brides, blessthefall, blink 182, bowling for soup, boys like girls, bring me the horizon, broadside, busted, caslow, castle field, charlotte sands, chase atlantic, chiodos, cute is what we aim for, crooked teeth, dance gavin dance, a day to remember, emarosa, escape the fate, every avenue, the faim, falling in reverse ,fall out boy, first and forever, forever the sickest kids, fountains of wayne, franz ferdinand, the friday night boys, future palace, games we play, get scared, the ghost inside, good charlotte, grayscale, green day, hey violet, hot chelle rae, hot milk, i prevail, i the mighty, the teenage janoskians, jayxander, jimmy eat world, jxdn, knox, knuckle punch, like pacific, linkin park, louis tomlinson, loveless, mgk, madrona, the maine, makeout, mason levi , mayday parade, mccoy, midnight skies, milestones, misplaced, modsun, movements, mcr, neck deep, newfound glory, the offspring, of mice and men, oh weatherly, our last night, p!atd, paramore, pierce the veil, the red jumpsuit apparatus, sarah barrios, senses fail, set it off, silverstein, simple creatures, simple plan, a skylit drive, sleeping with sirens, sleep on it , stand, atlantic, state champs, state of survival , a step ahead, stiff dylan’s, story of the year, the story so far, story untold, the summer set, sundressed, taking back sunday, thirty seconds to mars , tonight alive, underoath, ur pretty, the used, wage war, waterparks , we are the in crowd, we the kings, we were sharks, with confidence, the wrecks, wstr , yellow card, yours truly, you vs yesterday, zebra head

DNI:

Pretty simple DNI, don’t be a jerk, don’t be pr0 the usual (anything involving self inflicted injury, or d1s0rd3d shenanigans, no general triggering stuff here plz :3) No creeps xx

I thinks that covers anything, thank you for your time <3

Socials: KovuIsAlive on everything (apart from discord)

[jerseymuppet]

i might be stupid but. is the gothamverse a muppets batman au? is that what the thing in ur bio means? (either way plz do tell me abt it)

That would definitely be infinitely cooler than my idea! Gothamverse is the beautiful result of me playing arkham knight while waiting for an mcr livestream to start up and thinking ‘damn bitches from jersey are fucking insane! ....wait a minute’

It’s basically a silly little idea I came up last March with where all the mcr guys are from Gotham and what their villain origin stories would be etc. I followed the main Batman villain archetypes: extremist, anti-hero, camp, and serial killer, and I had a fucking blast! It’s very silly and just something I did for fun. I guess I can go a lil bit into it here.

full disclosure, I am psychotic and disabled and I do not believe in the vilification of mental illness or disability in media, all of these characters will eventually get the help they need. Batman at its core is about a mentally ill man helping others who have been failed by society and I will never forgive dc for making him into an overpowered, glorified cop.

Frank’s character (Francis ‘Frankie’ Stein) is the extremist (duh). He’s the son of a mafia boss who is steadily ruining their town with crime and Frankie just kinda snaps and kills him to take his place as the head of the family and try to undo some of the damage done. He has great intentions, he’s just very unyielding and kind of insane 💕 his moniker is Frankenstein! And his whole schtick is that he’s very hard (if not impossible) to kill. He’s also chronically ill and Jewish, these are not important to his character but they are important to me !

Mikey’s character (Micheal Way) is the serial killer. He’s a ‘sociopath’ (theres nothing actually wrong with him, people just suck and made him feel lesser and out of place :/) trying to fit in with everyday society but he always feels like something is missing and becomes a neuroscientist to try to find what exactly it is. He invents a machine (the empathsizer) that allows him to experience other people’s memories and emotions as though they are his own. From there he accidentally gets addicted to the chemical responses his brain has to doing that. And keeps doing it. Even after the testing phase is no longer accepting applicants. It gets worse after he experiences someone’s near death experience and starts chasing the high it gave him. Idk what his moniker is? It’s sandman for right now but that’s honestly so boring and uninspired.

Ray’s character (Raymond Ortiz) is camp but very loosely. He’s an engineer by day and a rockstar by night! He’s really only an engineer to save up enough money to pursue music full time but it’s hard because he doesn’t get paid that much. Winter hits and with it, cuts to his hours! So he’s forced to choose between rent and electricity. When he gets really sick as a result, he can’t afford a doctor. And when he wakes up with his hearing gone as a result, theres nothing he can really do but spiral into a depression. Until he realizes he’s a literal biological engineer. If he can’t fix his problem he can at the very least prevent it from happening to someone else! Research does cost money, so it’s very fortunate that Gotham has so many banks. His moniker is Dr. Megahurtz! His weapon of choice is his guitar, which has been retrofitted with sonic emitters to amplify and weaponize the hertz. Not enough to hurt, but enough to incapacitate.

Gerard’s character (Jules Moss) is the anti hero! She’s (yes I made Gerard’s character a trans girl, they took too long to make a trans character so I did it for them) has the same backstory as Gerard actually! On her way home from work she witnesses a terrorist attack, but instead of starting a band she decides to fight crime instead. She does so bad. Literally her first night out patrolling she gets killed by some priest who’s been driven insane by what he claims is an angel that’s ‘chosen him to impart gods will’ but it’s just a fallen star looking for a vessel to possess and the first guy it came across wasn’t dead lol. The star turns into a sword of pure light and that’s what Jules gets stabbed with, but also it fuses itself to her dna so she wakes up a few days later, schrödingers girl, with some scary new abilities and a voice in her head that definitely wasn’t there before. Her whole arc is her trying to find the guy that killed her and get revenge. Her moniker is stigmata! Because when she gets impaled it also goes through the palms of her hands and the wounds don’t heal.

but yeah that’s the bare bones of it all! I’m planning on making this into a comic series but the script is still being written at the moment! Thank you for letting me ramble about it 💕🥰

[m00ngbin]

hey......... itd be a real shame if you started ranting about the demolition lovers and the stories and lore behind the mcr albums.........................

OH MY GOD YES IT WOULD BE. SUCH A SHAME.

Ok so everyone already knows that mcr like originally started in September of 2001 because Gerard Way and his brother Mikey Way were living in New Jersey when the twin towers fell and Gerard saw it happen because allegedly he was meeting with Cartoon Network executives about a cartoon idea he had and he was like "this was super traumatizing I'm going to start a band where I can vent everything out through songs." (Great idea)

So he starts the band with his brother, (bass), Ray Toro, (main guitarist and backup vocalist), and Matt Pelisser, (drummer), (mainly Matt Pelisser), and in 2002 they release their first album, (MY FAVORITE), I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love. (Eventually Frank Iero, (backup vocalist and rhythm guitarist), joins the band but he wasn't there when they formed. He WAS featured on two songs in Bullets though, Honey, This Mirror Isn't Big Enough For Both Of Us and Early Sunsets Over Monroeville).

The first song they ever wrote, Skylines and Turnstiles, is about Gerard's feelings about 9/11. It's technically the seventh track on the album but yk. STILL THE FIRST.

Most of Bullets is ab the band members' lives growing up and their experiences watching 9/11 but it's also where they start coming up with the storyline for the Demolition Lovers. ANRJSHEKRJ I LOVE THE DEMOLITION LOVERS

Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge/Demolition Lovers

Ok so the Demolition Lovers storyline is a little confusing and mostly up for interpretation. MY interpretation is that in the song Demolition Lovers, (from the Bullets album), the Lovers are running away from unknown people in the middle of a desert, where they're both shot.

The Demolition Man dies and goes to hell, while the Demolition woman ends up in a coma. (I THINK SHES IN A COMA BC OF THE DRAWING IN THE LINER ART FOR REVENGE WHERE SHES IN THE HOSPITAL).

Then the Revenge album picks up where Bullets left off and we learn that the Demolition Man is told by the devil that if he goes back to earth and kills 1000 evil men he'll be allowed to see the Demolition Woman again.

Of course the Demolition Man is so desperate to see the Demolition Woman again that he says yes, so he goes back to Earth and Give 'Em Hell, Kid starts the story.

He starts in New Orleans and takes a train to an unspecified other place to begin the task. He's really remorseful about it, but he gets super drugged up to stay awake while he finds these 1000 evil men. Atp the Demolition Woman starts feeling kind of abandoned bc I guess she never realized that he had died and she has no clue what he's doing.

The next song, I'm Not Okay, is supposed to touch on how the Demolition Lovers' relationship was kind of toxic and ALLEGEDLY this was originally supposed to be the last song on the album, where it ends with the Demo Man's suicide. Obviously we knew that the Demo Lovers didn't have the most stable relationship but this song was supposed to highlight how bad it was

In the song Ghost Of You, the Demo Man starts reflecting on his actions and how much he misses the Demo Woman. At this point he's worrying that either he won't be able to kill enough people or he'll just never be able to see her again.

Jetset starts with the Demo Man finally getting out of jail and finding a new partner for his killing spree. She wants the relationship to be more, but the Demo Man is still hung up on the Demo Woman. (Obviously, if he wasn't he wouldn't be doing all of this.) Both the Demo Man and the partner are addicted to drugs at this point, the Demo Man mainly so that he can stay awake and cope with what he's doing.

In Hang 'Em High he starts doubting that he can go through with killing all of these people and starts thinking that if he fails, the Demo Woman should go on without him. In Fashion Statement/Deathwish, he regains his confidence and gets much closer to his goal. He realizes though, that even if he does succeed death will eventually bring the Lovers apart again.

In between Fashion Statement/Deathwish and Cemetery Drive the Demolition Woman gets out of the hospital and kills herself. (Helena doesn't technically fit with most of the story but I like to think that it's the Demo Man going to her funeral).

In Cemetery Drive the Demolition Man visits her grave and finally gets to 999 evil men. It's at this point that he realizes that he's been tricked by the devil. He'd killed 999 evil men, but since the devil made him a murderer, he was the 1000th.

In For A Living the Demo Man accepts that he'll never be able to see the Demo Woman again and kills himself. He finally reaches 1000 evil souls and so he actually IS able to reunite with the Demolition Woman in hell.

ARKAHSGFJS. I LOVE THE DEMOLITION LOVERS STORY SO MUCH YOU DONT UNDERSTAND I LOSE MY MIND THINKING ABOUT THEM EVERY DAY. Also like. Disclaimer you don't want a relation like the Demolition Lovers had. I didn't get super into it but their shit was FUCKED UP. Every time I see someone say that they wish they and their bf are just like the demo lovers I have a "hm." moment bc like. Did you even listen to ANY of the songs mentioning them?? Did you read ab their lore?? Do you know ANYTHING about them???

I'm not a gatekeeper or anything I swear I just don't think people should be saying that they want a relationship just like that

OH I TOTALLY FORGOT, during the Bullets tour era Gerard had a faux leather jacket that he wore so often and didn't wash that it literally disintegrated because of his sweat. I think most people know that but what they don't know is that there were TWO leather jackets that he disintegrated. One of them completely fell apart and the other one just lost one of the arms

THE BLACK PARADE

Ok listen I love the back parade but I'm not going to say AS much about it bc I spent most of my time hyperfixated on the Demo Lovers story and Danger Days so I don't know everything. (REMEMBER EVERYTHING I SAY IS AN INTERPRETATION DONT YELL AT ME IF YOU THINK SOMETHING ELSE)

Ok so the album starts with The End, where we learn about The Patient. He's dying and he probably won't be missed, and we get a reflection of his life and his fear of dying.

In Dead!, we learn about The Patient's diagnosis and prognosis. He has cancer and he doesn't have very long to live, maybe two weeks at the MOST. The first verse of the song, ("Did you get what you deserve? The ending of your life," (not said by him)), suggests that maybe The Patient is kind of a piece of shit and he deserves to die. The Patient is deep in denial atp, he's refusing to acknowledge that he's dying but he also wants it to be over.

This Is How I Disappear has The Patient reach out to a past lover, letting them know that they'll be the only one to remember him, and he begs them to keep his memory alive. It's mentioned again that this guy has done horrible things, but we still don't know what yet.

In The Sharpest Lives, we see The Patient start trying to distract himself from his imminent death by partying and drinking. He wrecks what's left of his life and it ends up dragging other people down with him.

After this song, he sobers up and goes to the hospital, where the rest of the album takes place

WTTBP is where he starts reflecting on his life again and accepts that his life is about to be over. Death comes, but in the form of his favorite memory: a parade The Patient's dad had taken him to when he was younger. The Patient's dad had told him that he wanted him to grow up to be a good person, (whoops), and that he can't be by The Patient's side forever.

I Don't Love You has The Patient desperately trying to break off his relationship with his current partner. He knows that his death will be painful for both of them and he doesn't want his partner to have to watch him rot away. (He's being selfless?? Shocker)

In House Of Wolves we get a description of how he sees hell, where he knows he'll end up. Despite everything he doesn't want to burn for eternity. He knows he's a bad person, but he spends the song INSISTING that a lot of people aren't better than him. (Dude🧍)

In Cancer, now that his treatment has started, he feels ashamed of how the chemo is making him look. His hair is falling out, his lips are chapped and faded, he's pale and gaunt, etc etc. He looks like shit pretty much. He already feels dead. He starts thinking selflessly again, trying to say goodbye to his loved ones in a short heartfelt way so that it doesn't have to be long and drawn out and painful. He doesn't want to leave them behind but yk. Life's not fair and he knows it.

Mama FINALLY gives us what he did, and guess what it is. War crimes. He was involved in a war where he committed terrible acts. Things so bad that even his own mother rejects and disowns him. At the point he's at in Mama, he decides to write her a letter where he admits that he's a terrible man and a terrible son, and since he's dying he would like it if they could reconcile and talk.

In Sleep The Patient says that he doesn't regret what he's done, but he wants to leave it all behind and end his life on a high note.

Teenagers is a song that doesn't really fit with the rest of the album, and I'm pretty sure Gerard Way says that it's not the most relevant to the story. There's a couple lines about how The Patient was an outcast in highschool, but most of the song is ab the system trying to control kids and get them to conform.

In Disenchanted, his life starts flashing before his eyes and he reviews it like a movie. He gets really disappointed about his life and how it's ending. He talks about how he could have changed things and that honestly his life was pretty worthless bc he just waited for death.

In Famous Last Words, The Patient is supposedly talking to a loved one, but he's not sure if he's dreaming it bc he doesn't know if he's dead or alive atp. Either way he has accepted that he's dead or about to be and he's at peace with it. (Or as at peace with dying of cancer as you can be)

NOW HERES WHERE IT GETS SUPER INTERESTING. THERES A SPLIT ENDING. Blood is the one that Gerard Way considers the ACTUAL ending, but they also wrote Heaven Help Us as an alternative ending that's technically just as correct as Blood

In Blood, The Patient chooses to stay alive, even though he knows that there's no way he's going to get better. The doctors and nurses that are taking care of him pity him and are only keeping him around for the money.

In Heaven Help Us, he DOES end up dying. Atp he's waiting in purgatory for the verdict on whether he's going to heaven or hell (it's going to be hell)

YAYY BLACK PARADE DONE

Danger Days

AKDOFHADORN OK SO THE STORY LINE FOR DANGER DAYS IS KIND OF CONFUSING BC THERES THREE: THE ONE FOR THE ALBUM, THE ONE FOR THE MUSIC VIDEOS, AND THE ONE FOR THE COMICS

DID YOU KNOW THAT GERARD WAY IS A COMIC BOOK ARTIST AND AUTHOR TOO?? HE WROTE A COMIC BOOK FOR DANGER DAYS AND HE MADE UMBRELLA ACADEMY AND PENI PARKER IN THE SPIDERVERSE MOVIES

So in the album, the first half basically talks about fighting in the desert and recalling the events of the Helium wars (The Only Hope For Me is You). Pretty upbeat.

Then in the middle of the album (Traffic Report) Jet Star and Kobra Kid are apparently killed, leaving Party Poison and Fun Ghoul alive?

The second half of the album deals with more serious themes of sacrifice, the "message", desperation, and, (obviously), sticking it to the man. Vampire Money is the only track set in the "real world," which gets proven by the use of their real names in the opening.

The EP, The Mad Gear and Missle Kid, contains three songs by this fictional band that the Killjoys would have listened to while driving around. The three songs on it are: 1. sex with porno-droids, 2. hooking up with older men in punk clubs, and 3. makes a reference to drinking juice while killing, which is what Val Velocity says in the comic. She might have been copying Party Poison but idk.

In the music videos, (Na Na Na and Sing), the Fabulous Killjoys run around the desert with The Girl, killing dracs. Korse eventually catches up to them and there is a shootout where the Killjoys get stunned and The Girl gets kidnapped.

Then the Killjoys go on a suicide mission into Battery City to try and get her back. They find The Girl who has been held by The Director and fight to escape. During the fight, Party Poison realizes that there are actually people under the drac masks, (one is implied to be Cherri Cola, who was played by Jimmy Urine (ew)), and he freaks the fuck out.

Korse kills him first, and the other three are also killed while trying to escape. The Girl is rescued, (by DJ Hot Chimp? I think?), and goes back out to the desert.

The Killjoys are wrapped up in body bags, but there was supposed to be another music video after Sing (which was cut due to budget issues), and Gerard mentioned in an interview once that he thought the Killjoys never really die because they would sort of spontaneously regenerate like in a video game or something.

There are three parts to the comics. The first is about The Girl, and reveals that the reason the Killjoys protected her was that they believed she was like a messiah. The Killjoys are all long dead by now. This group of teenagers, the Ultra V's, has decided to model themselves after the Killjoys, and the story talks about The Girl's interactions with them and coming to terms with her destiny. It's a coming of age type thing.

The second part talks about two android prostitutes from Battery City, and how they escape.

The third part has Korse as the main character, and reveals that he is gay and he has to hide this from Battery City officials. It's mainly ab him trying to get freedom and escape as well.

The Foundations Of Decay

NEWEST MCR SONG OMFG. It came out in 2022 following MCR's 6-7 year hiatus and URGAHDHFJS ITS SO GOOD. From just the lyrics

"He was there the day the towers fell

And so he wandered down the road

And we would all build towers of our own

Only to watch the roots corrode"

I think at least that part is about Gerard and a callback to why he started the band in the first place.

The whole song is kind of about the band and their history and everything and URGAJHDHFISSH I love this song so much you don't understand. It's very reminiscent of the Bullets era but it's a lot more mature I think.

NOW FOR MY FAVORITE SONG EVER OF ALL TIME: OUR LADY OF SORROWS

Our Lady Of Sorrows is on the Bullets album and it's the best song from any era imo. It's about how far someone will go for their friends and it's a really aggressive way of basically saying that you would die for someone and that you would stand with them against anything.

The song was originally a demo called Bring Me More Knives, and it only had Gerard, Ray, and Matt playing on it. Allegedly Mikey loved the song so much that he managed to teach himself to play the bass decently enough in four days just to join the band and play it.

Some of the demos from (mainly) the Bullets era were called the Attic Demos because they were recorded in the Matt's attic

Matt got kicked out of MCR in 2004, (just after the Revenge album came out), because apparently he was caught stealing. He was replaced by Bob Bryar, and currently Jarrod Alexander is the drummer for MCR

Oh I feel like I should mention that nothing was glamorous ab any of the tours or the band members while they were touring before the hiatus. These were like traumatized 20 something year olds touring the country and doing drugs and becoming alcoholics and it pisses me off so badly when people try to make that era seem so great. There was an entire chunk of the Life On The Murder Scene documentary about Gerard Way struggling with alcoholism and how his hygiene was so bad bc he couldn't take care of himself. That's part of what that jacket disintegrated. Ofc it was also bc touring is disgusting and you don't get a lot of chances to shower and stuff but nothing ab any of that is glamorous

Oh but they're all a lot better now I think. Obviously I don't KNOW bc idk any of the band members but from what I've seen they all at least look better