#the movie doesn't actually make any sense when you think about the plot

[softquietsteadylove]

Hi, I am missing the Mr. And Mrs. Lee AU >< this is a very angsty request. Maybe you can write the part of the confrontation scene but a little different. Thena trying to fulfill the mission even though she already fell in love with the mission (him), but Gil never reciprocated the attacks Thena inflicted to him because he would never lay a finger on her. Thena's mad at him for doing that, she's desperately shouting him to fight her back, but Gil just can't. And when Thena already had the perfect opportunity to kill him, Gil just said with no hesitation that she can do it and it's okay. But of course she didn't.

And we all know what happened next after that...scene, right? But what about we change it? I think having some soft at the same time emotional moment instead of spice after this angsty scene would be good. We'd love to see a lot of comfort, them just holding each other in their apartment that now has broken doors and walls with bullet holes in it.

THANK YOUUU SO MUCH, LOVELY!!!

The house is a disaster. It looks like an entire team of assassins has torn through the place, when really it's just a husband and wife. Well, a wife--Gil couldn't raise his hand even once after finding out it was her on the other end.

Thena stares at him, her hand shaking so much it rattles the weapon she has pointed at him.

His hands are still up, palms out to her. He isn't looking down the barrel at all, just up at her with those eyes he knows can make her melt. "It's okay, Sweetheart."

She glares at him. He doesn't get to call her that now. He should be thinking of her as the enemy. "Don't."

"It's okay," he repeats, and slides his eyes closed as if he's lying down for a nap after a few beers while watching the game. He lets out a slow sigh, and it sounds the same as when they're going to bed together after a long day apart. "You've got it. Take the shot."

She tries. She tries to make herself take the shot and fulfill the mission she's had for the last five years of her life. The mission she was told was a life or death situation, it never being more important for her to maintain her flawless success rate.

But the mission changed. Somewhere along the way, he wasn't only the Mission; he became just Gilgamesh. Gil was sweet, and charming, and friendly in a way she had almost never encountered in her life before him. Then Gil was a pretty good date. She was used to having to play any part necessary, be that the blushing virgin, the seductress, the cold bitch. But Gil was himself, and somehow he had tricked her into being herself too.

Now he's Gilgamesh Lee, and he's a great home cook, and he likes beer but he hates red wine, and he's handy with home repair but he can't identify the difference between paint shades to save his life. He's Gil, and he brings her flowers for her birthday, and he lets her drive because she gets carsick as a passenger. He's her husband of four years, and they've built an entire life together.

And she has burned it to the ground in a single night.

"Dammit!"

Gil watches as she tosses the weapon aside, and sinks to the floor. She curls right up, which is her go-to posture; it protects her, makes her feel more secure. She hugs her knees to her chest.

"Baby?"

"Don't," she practically whimpers into her lap, balled up like a child in the face of her life choices. This is pathetic; she's a top agent, one of the deadliest in Eternal Agencies. And here she is crying like a fool over her first love.

Gil sighs, moving over to her on what remains of their polished hardwood floors. "C'mere, hot stuff."

She should be trying to kill him. She should be fighting and clawing at him to regain the upper hand. Just because she decided she couldn't take the shot doesn't mean she can give up on the mission completely.

Gil lets her curl up on his lap, pressing her tears into his - dislocated, and then re-located - shoulder. He grunts, but bears it as he wraps his arms around her. "Easy, Sweetheart, I've got you."

Thena presses her face harder against him, muffling her agony as she wails into him. She hasn't cried like this in...maybe ever. Maybe she's never felt anything like this, but she supposes Gil has made a habit of unearthing feelings she thought she had cut out of herself.

He rubs her back, presses kisses to her temple. Their home is crumbling around them and he spent the last hour trying not to get assassinated by her, but now he's holding her as if she's had a bad dream after a thunderstorm.

Thena tries to build up her walls again. She tries to think about the house structure, how she can get away and regain the high ground on him. She tries to think about where she tossed that weapon, or which door frames still have her knives lodged in them.

But all she can think about his her husband, holding her in his arms, safe from anything and everything, including the omniscient reach of a man called Father. These are arms which held her after their fifth date, in an apartment she procured just so they could go somewhere after dinner. These are arms which held her against his side in a gondola, and then held her that same night after proposing. This embrace is the only place she has ever felt safe enough to truly banish her other thoughts from her mind and just be Thena.

Missus Thena Lee.

Gilgamesh whispers and coos in her ear as her sobbing subsides slowly. He holds her trembling form against him, offering all he can when they've already been worn to the bone by life and its complications. "Sweetheart?"

She groans into his shirt. "Stop calling me that."

She can hear the smile in his voice. "Why?"

She stays buried against him. She doesn't even want to look at the house, right now. "You want the full list?"

Gil chuckles, running his fingers through her hair. "You're still my wife, Thena. Nothing about tonight changes that."

Fuck. He always knows exactly what to say to make her want to throw herself to the ground and beg him to love her for just one more day.

"Nothing changes that," he repeats in a whisper as she clings to him so tightly her nails dig into him. "Unless you're about to ask for a divorce, in which case I change my mind about putting up a fight."

He also knows how to make her laugh at truly the worst times. "Gil, I'm serious."

"Yeah," he lifts his head and looks around them, "I'd say it's pretty serious, Honey-Bun."

Such cutesy pet names; she once tried to convince herself that they were off putting and that she hated them. It didn't last long. They're cliche and embarrassing and she loves each and every one of them.

Thena lifts her head too, unable to avoid looking at the massacre of their home. A few shreds of wood fall to the floor as if they're paid actors. "Really did a number on the place, hm?"

Gil shrugs as if she's asked if he knows what the weather will be tomorrow, "I'm sure I could make some progress in here if I took some time off work."

Thena thunks her head against his chest again. "Work."

"Sorry," he apologises and presses a kiss to the top of her head. "We don't have to think about that now."

They will sooner or later, though. Both of them will, given all that they've learned in the past 36 hours.

"We'll figure it out," he says so definitively.

Thena looks down at her tattered and shredded dress. She looks at Gil's ripped and burned suit. She sighs, "they're going to call a domestic disturbance on us."

"Yeah, I guess I wouldn't blame them," Gil murmurs, shaking out his jacket and letting the bullets that got caught in its reinforced lining clatter to the floor. He lays it over her shoulders. "You hungry?"

Thena lets out an even longer, even louder sigh. She feels like she could throw up. "Starving."

Gil groans as he hauls himself to his feet. "Fridge is a little beat up, but I'm pretty sure there are a few eggs left."

"Scrambled?" Thena looks up at him from her miserable quarry on the floor, "with cheese?"

He leans down to kiss her, letting her hand rest on his cheek no matter how much he has to twist his neck. "I know what you like."

"Thank you," she whispers, hoping to memorise every line and feature of his face in case the next 36 hours also go to shit. She listens to the sound of him prying open the dented fridge door, pulling out the eggs, finding a pan that doesn't have bullet dents in it. She loves listening to him cook. "Baby?"

"Yeah, Hon?"

Thena smiles to herself. He's right, they will figure it out, and he is her husband; nothing about tonight changes that. "I love you."

"I love you too, Thena."

[astonmartinii]

reluctant cupid | lando norris social media au

pairing: lando norris x fem bff!reader

you could set your bestie up with a driver or you could confess your feelings? lando norris is dumb.

based on this request: Could you write something about being best friends with lando and he tries to help set you up with another driver you have a crush on, but then he realises he actually likes you so he has to sabotage all the wingmanning he’s done and you end up together Idk if that makes sense 😭🫶🏼🫶🏼 -@mbappesleftthigh

MASTERLIST | TIP JAR

yourusername

liked by landonorris, oscarpiastri and 49,340 others

yourusername: someone please save me from the grips of hinge and this oh so lonesome life

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user1: girl knows the whole f1 paddock and looks like that and is still alone there is NO HOPE for me

user2: this post might have thrown me over the edge

landonorris: "i'm so lonely" "why don't you approach that guy" "no too scary"

user3: that's so real though

yourusername: thank you!

landonorris: how do you expect to find a boyfriend when you don't like to talk to anyone and treat hinge like a gameshow

yourusername: i didn't come here for actual advice let me commiserate in peace. god, can women have anything these days?

landonorris: ???

yourusername: oh! idea! pretty please set me up with one of your friends? they have to be great otherwise you wouldn't be friends with them, right? RIGHT?

landonorris: i guess...

yourusername: please lando, i've never asked for anything before

landonorris: i can feel you pouting through the phone

yourusername: so you'll consider ?

landonorris: fine...

user4: bro either gotta admit his feelings now or be condemned to be in the plot of a weird romantic comedy

user5: i personally don't think i can wait until the third act break up with this side character LANDO ACT NOW

oscarpiastri: you'd really trust lando's judgement?

yourusername: he's friends with me, he's got good taste?

oscarpiastri: touche

maxverstappen1: whatever you really wanna say oscar, you gotta keep it in, these idiots will figure it out eventually

yourusername: ???

landonorris: ???

user6: the grid are so done with their asses i can't 😭

user7: but what if the universe doesn't intervene and lando really has just lost the girl forever?

user8: bestie we can't be thinking like this

landonorris

liked by carlossainz55, yourusername and 812,047 others

tagged: yourusername

landonorris: being back home means being bothered by her (and whatever is her newest hyperfixation - it's sylvanian families this month if you couldn't tell)

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user9: i am so sorry but they are so in love

user10: it's cute in the movies, but these blind bitches are starting to piss me off

yourusername: THEY CAN HEAR YOU, BE A BETTER DAD

landonorris: they're not my children

yourusername: you take that back right now, you LOVE them

landonorris: you spent my money on them yes

yourusername: that's fatherhood, buddy. buckle up

user11: whoever he sets her up (if he's still dumb enough to do that) is gonna be the biggest third wheel in history

user12: who would willingly sign up for that

user13: me. i would. i have two working eyes and have seen y/n

maxverstappen1: who are these funky little critters and how can i procure some for p?

yourusername: finally a man with sense, literally any grocery store or toy store

maxverstappen1: perf

yourusername: if lando stops being mr. grumpy i'll ask him if i can come to a race and p and i can play animal families

landonorris: i am NOT mr. grumpy

maxverstappen1: you kinda are dude. is it the set-up is it stressing you out?

landonorris: nO

yourusername: then why are you putting it off !!! lando i might die from terminal yearning !!!

landonorris: i have an interested candidate

yourusername: really? do you think they'll actually like me? like this isn't a pity date right?

landonorris: nope!

user14: lando is typing through tears as we speak

user15: if y/n does go on a date with someone from the paddock i actually hope it goes well, as one lonely girl to another, it's tough out here we need one win

f1wagupdates

liked by user18, user19 and 11,043 others

tagged: yourusername & carlossainz55

f1wagupdates: turns out lando is a bit of a cupid as his childhood friend y/n y/ln was spotted out and about with carlos sainz.

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user20: HE ACTUALLY DID IT

user21: that moment when you're so down bad for a girl that you set her up with your best friend

user22: that moment when you're such a wimp you can't admit your feelings and set up the girl you like with a literal GREEK GOD

user23: i am so bamboozled by this move he literally looked like a kicked puppy on his stream bro this is your doing 😭

user24: she's a lover girl she's going to get her heart broken :(

user25: this has mess written all over it

user26: she's literally described herself as a terminal yearner i feel like she'll throw herself in and will get hurt

user27: UNLESS! this is all part of the plan? what if lando set her up with a messy guy like carlos so he can be the shoulder to cry on and that's how he slides in?

user28: that's very convoluted, very rom-com but i'll take it if it means we get lando and y/n together in the end

user29: i know this probably won't last long but can we all appreciate how hot this couple is?

user30: lando and y/n runs rings round y/n and carlos

user31: lol lando is a bad friend for setting her up with CARLOS him and charles are THEE red flags

user32: i hope y/n is prepared

user33: also lando hasn't thought it fully out if his plan is to be the shoulder to cry on because he's just opening her up to be called a homie hopper or a paddock bunny

carlossainz55

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly and 702,554 others

carlossainz55: productive weekend with my girl

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user34: well that's not y/n

user35: that finished faster than i expected

user36: lando DO NOT quit your day job

landonorris: call me bro

carlossainz55: si, cabron

user37: i don't think they'll be cabrons after this call

user38: maybe this is all just going to plan?

user39: yall gotta give up this conspiracy theory maybe these people are just as dumb and mean as they seem to be

user40: soooooo... what did we all do this weeekend?

user41: i broke a girl's heart @carlossainz55 twins 👯‍♂️

user42: AHHHH???

maxverstappen1: oh that's not-

yourusername: you're so chronically online :(

maxverstappen1: you're alive?

yourusername: yes. coming at you live from the bed i'm currently rotting in

maxverstappen1: not going to say i didn't warn you?

carlossainz55: really? in my own comment section?

yourusername: one second, we're having a conversation here

maxverstappen1: yeah carlos, gosh.

carlossainz55: i'm so confused

user43: okay power move to just start a conversation in his comments?

user44: the power of confusion is simply unmatched

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 56,309 others

yourusername: certified boy hater

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user45: a ferrari boy will do that to you

landonorris: feeling hashtag victimised rn

yourusername: obviously doesn't include you girlypop. but you seriously need to reevaluate your judgement

landonorris: carlos is attractive?

yourusername: he ghosted me?

carlossainz55: i am right here

yourusername: blocked.

landonorris: did you actually just block him?

yourusername: yes 😀 !

landonorris: god this is a nightmare

yourusername: not if you'd take a GOD DAMN HINT

landonorris: WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

user46: yall this is a public instagram comment section

user47: don't say that, this is their argument in the rain moment

user48: lemme grab the popcorn 🍿

maxverstappen1: this better not include the real number one girlypop here

yourusername: of course not pookie

oscarpiastri: you gonna continue the lil spat above this?

yourusername: no?

oscarpiastri: well some people (max and i) would like to listen so please continue

yourusername: no, i don't think i will

oscarpiastri: GOD YOU PEOPLE ARE INSUFFERABLE

maxverstappen1: what oscar said

user49: oscar and max are so real

user50: they can't leave us on this cliff hanger

landonorris

liked by yourusername, danielricciardo and 1,043,788 others

landonorris: some snaps from '23

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user51: have we just been thirst trapped?

user52: i don't think it was intended for us

user53: this has "i am hotter than carlos sainz" written all over it

yourusername: posting tits on main, brave.

landonorris: i came second in singapore.

yourusername: sureeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. modesty, ever heard of it lan?

landonorris: slutshaming isn't cute y/n

yourusername: you kinda have to pull to be a slut lan. you are under qualified for the position

landonorris: if you keep being mean to me i will call your mum or my mum.

yourusername: try it. i see cisca more than you, i have faith in her

landonorris: the line is busy. are you on the phone to MY mum right now?

yourusername: maybe.

user54: we're so close to them getting their heads out of their asses

user55: don't get my hopes up

danielricciardo: i hope this works lol

landonorris: you don't think i'm sexy?

danielricciardo: it doesn't matter what i think

landonorris: i'm not sexy :(

danielricciardo: you're baiting me but yes, you are sexy.

user56: i'll fight anyone who made this man believe he's not beautiful

liked by yourusername

user57: I SAW THAT 📸

user58: someone just lock them in a cupboard at this point

oscarpiastri: noted.

yourusername

liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 89,034 others

tagged: landonorris

yourusername: yeah, yeah. you can stop yelling at us now.

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user61: LET'S FUCKING GO

user62: it was worth all that yelling. i expect an invite to the wedding now.

user63: wedding? girly they only just realised their feelings after a DECADE

maxverstappen1: it was about fucking time

yourusername: okay miss ma'am. some people are EMOTIONALLY VULNERABLE AND NOT VERY GOOD AT PROCESSING THEM

maxverstappen1: you must've been emotionally constipated because this was painful

yourusername: it was painful for me too

maxverstappen1: so painful that you dated CARLOS

yourusername: one date! ONE!

maxverstappen1: carlos said can you unblock him so he can be mean to me?

yourusername: fine.

carlossainz55: STOP MAKING ME LOOK LIKE A BAD PERSON. YES I AM NOT THE BEST AT RELATIONSHIPS BUT LEAVE ME BE

maxverstappen1: lol

yourusername: lol

user64: unblocking carlos to hit him with the lol max and y/n might be more iconic than lando and y/n

landonorris: not on our relationship announcement post 🤨

user65: OOP.

landonorris: i love you doofus

yourusername: i love you too muppet

landonorris: how much was the betting pool for your family?

yourusername: it got to over £300

landonorris: ours was £750

yourusername: are we dumb?

landonorris: no!

oscarpiastri: two dumbass girls saying 'yass' to each other

yourusername: LEAVE US BE

landonorris: oscar :(

user66: not their own families betting on when they'd get together 😭

landonorris

liked by maxverstappen1, yourusername and 1,430,778 others

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landonorris: first win, hopefully not my only one.

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user67: MY BABIES

user68: i feel like i've been on this journey with them

oscarpiastri: thank god you guys got your shit together, i was THIS close to jumping out the nearest window if i had to watch lando mope around like a kicked puppy when y/n had the lil thing with carlos

user69: so it wasn't some grand plan?

oscarpiastri: no he's just dumb enough to actually set up his first love with his best friend

landonorris: OSCAR!

oscarpiastri: am i wrong?

landonorris: no... but! i got there in the end

oscarpiastri: good thing you're faster on track

user70: the grid being just as done with them as us is killing me

maxfewtrell: finally this unnecessarily long and overly convoluted saga has come to and end, lets never do this again!

landonorris: i'm locked in for life bro no worries

yourusername: awwwwwwwwwwwwww i love you too bubs

maxfewtrell: stop being sappy under my comment

yourusername: you just complained we didn't sort out our shit fast enough and now we're too sappy?

landonorris: STICK TO A STORY BOZO

maxfewtrell: now you're even more ride or die... can we go back?

yourusername: nope!

landonorris: nope!

maxverstappen1: i for one am very happy for you both

yourusername: thank you max !!

landonorris: not so fast, he had the biggest bet on us in the paddock

yourusername: get that bag sis

landonorris: ???

yourusername: we can't fight it anymore, let them have their jokes, we actually have each other now :)

landonorris: yes we do :) xx

user71: golly gosh this is so fucking cute

fin.

note: i hope this is what you were looking for and that you all enjoyed!! i'm just waiting on my tester sticker sheets for my small business @badlydrawnf1cats on here and on instagram, if you wanna give it a follow x tHANK YOU FOR READING MY LOVES X

[two-dolla-bills]

Top 10 mechanisms songs that you can get away with playing at a retailers without too many side eyes

I got a job in retail and I felt inspired lol

Disclaimer: this is not a list of the best mechanisms songs/the ones I think deserve to go "mainstream", they're just the ones that would blend in the best

1. Sirens

This song is probably the mechanisms' least "centered" song. It doesn't mention any characters, it has no narration, and out of context it just sounds like A Song that you might hear on the radio. Sirens is to the mechanisms as you're the one that I want is to grease, you know?

2. Trial by song

THIS one. It's in the same category to me as Sirens; you can listen to it by itself and not suspect much. Unlike Sirens which can be completely separated and still make sense, this one is more like a whole new world from Aladdin. There are parts that make it obvious that it's from a larger whole, but if you just so happen to catch the "safe" parts you won't suspect much.

Points were deducted due to Mr. Soldier's unique vocals. (Unique as in not very common in mainstream music)

3. Empty trail

This is no offense to Dr. La Cognizzi, but sometimes when she sings it's hard to make out what she's saying, which works in her favor in these circumstances. It sounds country/rock, which help it blend in with some dad rock songs. If I remember correctly, the melody was actually taken from a Led Zeppelin song, so if you aren't paying attention to what's ACTUALLY being said you can get away with claiming it's a cover.

4. Ties that bind

Although this one does mention many plot points, many fans have stated that they had no idea what the fuck was being said until the have looked for the lyrics (myself included) this, combined with it's jazzy rythm, make it able to blend in with other songs, similarly to empty trail

5. Odin

The most "normal" song out of the entirety of The Bifrost Incident. This song made it to the top five because it has similarities with Roam by the B-52's, but had points deducted due to it clearly being about an awesome space train

6. Lost in the cosmos

This might just be personal opinion, but it sounds like a church song. You can pull off the effect of it being about earth Jesus and not space robot Jesus if you have particularly bad quality speakers and a busy store w/lots of noise. Again, the lyrics kinda give it away as to not being entirely main stream

7. Stranger

Look it's a banger, ok? Many of the lyrics could be taken as just being metaphors, but I feel like you have to squint to "see" it. Pay too much attention and shit gets a little weird. Also, points deducted because it's two men singing together and not a man and a woman, which throws a wrench into the works. At kohl's it might raise some eyebrows but in like hot topic it'll blend in a little better

8. Redeath

You would think a song about a sphoenix (space phoenix) would be lower on the list but you'd be wrong. It's a really pretty song with a good original melody, and it's something that can be drowned out by a particularly rowdy crowd. Like Stranger, it would blend in better at a hot topic than at kohl's, but only slightly.

9. Elysian Fields

The melody in Elysian Fields is taken directly from the song wayfaring stranger, which has been coverd by Jonny Cash, Ed Sheeran, Poor Man's Poison, and The Longest Johns, AS WELL HAS having been featured in the movie 1917 and in the video game The Last of Us II, which make it very recognizable. Because of this recognizability, people who know the original song may be caught off guard by hearing it in a Walmart with completely different lyrics. It was originally in 7th place, but the popularity of the original takes off many points

10. Once and future king

It's a banger, don't get me wrong, but it also very heavily and clearly mentions plot points from the album, which itself is heavily base on Aurtharian mythology; something very well known in the western world (also the names are not common at all and most haven't been in fashion in centuries). In a crowded, busy space with not very good quality speakers it could potentially blend in, but one or two names might sneak out. The only reason it's on the list is because of the instrumental outro, which sounds normal enough

[daydreaming-scheming-demon]

minecraft doesnt need to be a fucking multimedia franchise, it doesn't even need anymore games than one, there's no fucking point to it, nobody gives a shit about minecraft dungeons, since when was the last time you saw someone go "oh wow, i cant wait for the next minecraft dungeons update" and there's even more minecraft spinoffs that nobody gives a shit about, i cant even remember the name of the latest one because it died so quickly

and now they're making a minecraft movie, and it's live action, which makes no sense but i guess making it animated wouldnt have a mainstream appeal and they need dat money from da masses. and they're having fucking jack black in it. and it's just. please. stop. you couldve made a movie about something original and interesting but instead you need to make a fucking minecraft movie.

i feel similarly about the mario movie and the fnaf movie but like, at least with those games it makes sense. mario games have plot even if simple, and fnaf has a plot even if it's a bad and confusing one. minecraft is a fucking sandbox game with no characters or plot going on unless you're matpat or something. it has fucking nothing. they're making a movie out of fucking nothing. they might as well be making a fucking live action tetris movie.

you know, it could be good. maybe id even like it. but even if it is, it's just so fucking unnecessary, they could've been making something original but nooooooo original is risky, we need a fucking minecraft movie to bring in those shiny fucking dollars to stuff down our fucking throats and choke on and die.

minecraft isn't designed to be anything other than a single fucking game, but because it's big and owned by microsoft it needs to be fucking everything. there needs to be a minecraft movie, and a minecraft show, and a minecraft branded pencil to stab my minecraft branded eyes out of my minecraft branded eyeholes so i dont have to see anymore fucking minecraft.

and to add to this, even if the minecraft movie is good, it's just such a fucking shame that it had to be minecraft and nothing else had any chance to be made. there's been lots of great movies that the big guys up top only allowed to be made because they're based on popular things. the lego movie for example, the barbie movie too. but it's just so fucking irritating that if any creative wants to actually make a good fucking movie they need to do it through this already popular thing. that's how shit like velma gets made. that show feels like an original show with scooby doo slapped on top of it to grab more attention.

everything needs to be appealing to the masses or it's not even seen as worthy of being made. the only movies worthy of being made and the only shows worthy of being renewed are the ones that ceos think will give them enough money to violently shove down their throat and fill their stomach with, fill their lungs with, fill every crevice of their shriveled old body with until every shit they take is hard and full of bloodsoaked gold coins, and every piss they take is shining gold, and every time they pick their nose they pick out gold.

there's just so little space for original works now.

[ghcstao3]

I saw your tags, you have challenged me!

Scary Show AU (cw for cannibalism and murder)

Ghost is a very well-known yet still semi-anonymous Voice Actor for spooky shit. There's a huge following for him because, regardless of what role he's playing, he does a phenomenal job. He's only listed in the cast list as "S.R.Ghost"

Typically he plays the role of the creatures in this super popular show called "Cryptid Season" which follows a gang of college kids desperate for extra credit in their Biology class so they hunt cryptids as evidence/to study for their papers. He does the voice over and some of the motion capture (he's a big dude) for the monsters and such, his most famous one being "Goatman" (from the demonic Goatman's bridge in I think Texas?)

Meanwhile Soap is this animator who's starting to become really popular, and he announces a new show in the work: "Consume", where he voices one of the two lead roles. It's presented as a show about a normal, if not very lonely man, being tormented by a demonic presence in his home.

Plot twist: dude's actually a cannibalistic serial killer and ends up quickly befriending the demon. The demon helps make the man harder to track by police forces in exchange for the bones and souls of his victims.

Cast:

Soap as the killer

Ghost as the demonic entity

Gaz as a detective who's new to the case but also best friends with Soap's character

Price voices the seasoned detective who's been working this case "too damn long"

Ghost and Soap ABSOLUTELY fall in love while recording scenes together. The banter, the flirting, the sexy scenario of cutting up a corpse together; it's too much not to fall in love irl

(actually such a big brain idea but I don't know how you'd write it tbh lmao. Maybe the show itself, where the boys keep their names? Idk the original idea turned into something much greater)

took a minute to figure something out i'm ngl but i did. something (in any case i would love to see your proper takes(s) if you'd be up to it, seeing as it's your idea!! i feel like i couldn’t do it justice)

-

Just like any other actor, Ghost had to audition for the role.

His agent books it for him without consultation, knowing the project would be right up his alley—horror, monsters, no face required—and Ghost makes no argument in sending in his tape. He recognizes this process and takes no issue with it, and once out of his hands, he waits patiently for a congratulatory offer or a gentle rejection.

Just like any other movie, or show, or what have you. Consume is no different.

Supposedly. At first.

John "Soap" MacTavish is... many things. He's charming, according to most. Talented. A joy to be around. A man who wears more than several hats of a project, which certainly tells of someone trying to worm their way into the commercial industry.

He has the spirit and creativity, Ghost will allow him that. But he also doesn't know when to stop talking as soon as the important work is done.

Is Soap professional? Sure. Does Soap make sure all jobs are done with efficiency and done well? Yes, he does. Does it make him any less of a nuisance to Ghost? Absolutely not.

But Ghost would be damned if the project doesn’t find its way into his soft spots, despite its nature. He’d be damned if he doesn’t fall in love with Soap’s animations and the hard work and craft he puts into them.

Then he blinks, and the pilot is premiering. It does well (again, considering its content), and Consume is properly green-lit.

Which is when Soap proposes the idea of recording their lines in the same room. Together. Facing one another. Because banter, and chemistry, and whatever other reasons he insists upon.

Personally, Ghost wants to decline. He’s always felt somewhat awkward when recording as such with anyone, but professionally? He couldn’t really say no, could he?

And it is awkward, at first. There’s more takes than usual, and Ghost can sense Soap’s frustration, though the man never expresses it. He just plasters on a tight smile, calls for a break, and pulls Ghost aside.

Surely, surely this is where Ghost gets fired. This is where Ghost is told he’s going to be replaced, where he’s told to say goodbye to Gaz and Price and wish them luck, and move onto his next gig. This is where—

“Have I done something wrong?”

Soap’s face is so earnest. So painfully sincere.

Ghost clenches his jaw. Shakes his head.

“No, I—“ He sighs. “Just have to get used to the… face-to-face. Let’s—I’ll try again.”

Soap smiles wider, now, as he nods, something kind and warm and brilliant.

The second try goes much smoother. Ghost takes a deep breath and eases himself into scripted dialogue, into witty banter and subtle flirts like it’s any other project.

They continue to record lines as such, just the two of them, each episode at a time. At some point, Ghost worries, the line between script and show and reality gets blurred. At some point, he fears, that flirting becomes genuine.

And what would he know—the reviews only get better as that line becomes less and less clear. Natural, real-feeling dialogue, critics say. The relationship is authentic, claim viewers.

The love is actually heartfelt.

And fuck, if that doesn’t make Ghost realize a few things about himself.

About Soap.

Consume is no different, his ass. He might have to have a stern talk with his agent in the near future.

(Or not.)

[winterlogysblog]

4KOTA ✨142✨aka I have a BONE to pick with Nakaba

Oh boy, this chapter is a lot and I honestly want to make separate posts about several different things but I don't have enough patience for that so this is going to be a long one so buckle up.

This entire chapter is just all about setting up conflict for the chapters to come. We have this whole thing with the Drug of Yore, Nasiens, and Mertyl.

I also noticed that Phao overheard Diane and Tioreh's conversation so the rest of the kids are also gonna be involved in this whole ordeal one way or another.

So, the Drug of Yore. The source of all of this.

In the previous chapter, it's heavily implied that King is going to give Nasiens the Drug of Yore and for plot's sake I guessed that Mertyl will witness all of this unfold and that is exactly what happened.

Nasiens was upset about several things, mainly why is King giving this to him when Mertyl is sick and why did King give this to him now. Nasiens has been in the Fairy Realm for two years now and has been trying his hardest to find a cure for Percival then King comes in with the Drug of Yore which is essentially the medicine of all medicines.

Now, I don't think Nasiens has clued in that Mertyl is just a human in the Fairy Realm. Because Mertyl being human is the problem here, he's not sick, he's perfectly fine and healthy he just can't handle the Fairy Realm's atmosphere. That's why King didn't give the drug to Mertyl and since this is a rare drug he's probably not gonna risk it (even if that's his kid) and even if he did try to give it to Mertyl it's not gonna work.

Now, I looked back on the Grudge of Edinburg movie and I'm confident to say that the Drug of Yore is the same medicine that King used on Elizabeth, it's in the same bottle too. However, I also noticed something. In the movie, the bottle has a generous amount of elixir, but right now in the manga, it's almost empty, and the amount of elixir in the bottle is perfect for just a single dose. Which means King must have used this drug on someone before. This led me to a rabbit hole. I lost my good mind on this.

My guess is that King has given the Drug of Yore to Mertyl at least multiple times already but noticed that it's not working so he stuck with giving him the pills. This also explains why Mertyl has heard of the drug before when this is supposed to be an ancient secret medicine, he just forgot about it because it's been such a long time. This led to a shortage of the drug since King had been giving it to Mertyl this entire time. As said by King, it's a rare drug extracted from flowers on top of the Sacred Tree and these flowers only grow once every millennium (1k years) so this thing is not easily accessible, and it probably takes time to produce. Most likely the reason why it took 2 years for King to give the drug to Nasiens is because that is how long it took for King to acquire the perfect amount for at least a single dose that Nasiens can use. Besides, as per King's phrasing he's not even sure that it's gonna work on Percy.

On that note.

Will the Drug of Yore work on Percy?

In a sense yes it will but all it will do is bring OG Percival's soul back to the body, not our Percy. But it could also work because our Percy has more connection to the body than OG Percy. Maybe Nasiens could use the Drug of Yore as the main ingredient of the actual drug that he'll give to Percy to bring him back.

King messed up here but that doesn't make him a bad parent it actually makes him a realistic one

King's main fault here is not talking to Mertyl and apparently any of the kids about the whole adoption thing right away resulting in Mertyl's ever-growing insecurities, which realistically I really can't blame him for because it's a hard topic to discuss but really? It's been 18 years and you didn't say anything.

No parent is perfect and parenting is hard and Kiane is trying their best to be as good parents as they can for their 7 little munchkins. They mean well and obviously love their children a lot they just fumbled the bag on this one. I could also see Mertyl at fault here for not trusting his parent's love for him but again I can see why he felt the way that he did.

I don't think the reason King didn't give it to Nasiens right away is because he wanted to keep him there. That is a pretty selfish and petty reason and I know King, he's not that type of person, especially when the fate of the world hangs in the balance. I can actually see King not revealing that Nasiens is his kid ever and just being content to see his kid again and see the kind of person he grew up to be. To King, it's enough that he knows that his kid is alive and well. Nasiens will most likely realize this in the future, with the help of Lancelot (probably) (I love Lance I have to put him in everything lol this is his fam too yk)

We really haven't seen either King or Diane's side of the story, we don't know anything really and I still have enough trust in Nakaba that he'll give us a good reason for all of this. We'll probably see that next chapter (hopefully) cause with these types of dramas usually the parents' POV are the last ones shown.

They love Mertyl

Seeing both Sixtus and Tioreh's actions alone I can say that they love Mertyl to bits even if Tioreh knows that Mertyl is not his biological brother and I guess she's the first one to figure this out, she's upset at the idea that Mertyl won't be family anymore. Sixtus also shows great admiration and love for his big brother. And hey! even if Mertyl is human and not their actual kid he's still their big brother. They're acting like Mertyl's gonna be replaced or something when Nasiens is just an addition to their family and Mertyl is not going anywhere because he's forever part of their family.

This whole thing boils down to misunderstanding really, everyone has their own interpretation of the situation and people keep running off before anyone can explain anything (classic) I hope, boy I hope this will be resolved quickly and fast cause I hate seeing my babies suffer.

[fire-of-the-sun]

Ilsa and Ethan: There's Still Hope

Spoiler Warning for M:I7!

I'm sure a ton has already been said about Ilsa in the new movie, whether it be lamenting her loss or developing theories as to her potential return in the next film, but here are some contributions I've been mulling over. This isn't going to be an exhaustive list of reasons why she's still alive, but I will try to address some and add my own thoughts into the mix.

I agree with the discussion that one of the best clues of this all being a fake out lies in Ethan and Ilsa's reunion near the beginning of the film. Ilsa plays dead during the fight and Ethan momentarily believes it before she attacks him and reveals herself to be alive. As it stands, this looks like a foreshadowing to her eventual, real death, however, I think it instead acts as setup to her still being alive. I think it's clear that her death fakeout exists to give us clues to her eventual return as well as deflect audiences from even considering it as we're trained to accept that foreshadowed events that transpire in most stories would simply be the end of it, but this isn't a typical story, this is Mission: Impossible, and nothing is as it seems and this film establishes that that's more true now than ever.

And if you're really going to kill Ilsa off, why do a fake-out at all? Why not just have her die later without warning and really shock the audience? Why already have the fans ruminating on the possibility early on and telegraph it long before it actually happens? Consider Julia's "death" in M:I3. The film starts in media res and there's a strong sense of tension throughout the whole film knowing that that's going to happen. Julia is going to get kidnapped and possibly die no matter what, but it's okay to spoil this scene in advance because she doesn't die. Because why would you tell the audience that's going to happen right away unless there's going to be some kind of twist where she lives? What's the point in watching the movie if you know that Ethan is ultimately going to fail and it's going to have a tragic, unsatisfying ending? Julia's death fakeout is a tactic meant to trick him and the audience and make him feel like he's lost only for the twist to be that he ultimately wins and Julia remains alive. I believe a similar tactic is being used with Ilsa which has the potential to be a very well-executed plot twist rather than a disappointing one if done correctly and not completely abandoned in the next film. I actually think that without the fakeout and just a sudden and completely unexpected death I'd feel more worried but, as it stands, I think the choice (among many others) actually serves to legitimize this all being fake.

After all, the best twists are ones that you can see coming if you're really looking for it and that's okay. It's okay that we've figured it out - that means the director ultimately did their job right. Some viewers, especially more casual fans, are taking what they were shown at face value and not considering there's any more to it. They're falling for the trick and that's fine too, because a good twist is one that is set up in a way that leaves clues but also remains largely hidden especially as the audience isn't looking for it. A magic trick that deflects us from seeing what the magician is actually doing. When Ilsa shows up in the next film, some people will feel rewarded for their observations and others will finally see all the pieces click into place that they disregarded before and both be satisfied, but I digress...

Another huge scene to look to for clues lies in the team discussing the severity of the threat and really cementing just how difficult it's going to be to trick the Entity before the party. I think it's very possible that there are missing conversations here that we will not be privy to until the next film as Ethan would never let his friends be in such danger without having a real plan on how to protect them and the audience always knows what the plan is so when things go awry we're aware the complications were unprecedented. In this case, we really have no idea what they're walking into, nor do we see them effectively prep for it. Unless I'm forgetting something, why did Ilsa need to be at the party at all? Why would Ethan put Ilsa in danger like that for no real reason especially after already enduring those brief, agonizing moments earlier when he truly believed she was dead and had to consider a world without her in it and knowing that Gabriel has taken someone from him in the past? Ilsa is her own woman and can do what she wants, but we don't see him even trying to protest her inclusion and voicing fear for her safety for her to even refute.

The scene where Ilsa meets Ethan on the balcony afterward is incredibly short and could feel tacked on given that there's no real lead up to it, but it could very well be the aftermath of a heavy conversation where - feeling burdened by the weight of what must be done - Ethan leaves the room to think and Ilsa follows. She looks particularly chipper here despite the seriousness of what's going on and I believe her benign comments about Venice are purposefully meant to distract Ethan in an attempt to cheer him up. Notice how he shakes his head a little after he answers, like he knows what she's trying to do before giving into her and hugging back. She's calm because she has faith in the plan while he's nervous about it. As a side note, I think it was a touching detail to have Ethan return to this same balcony to grieve (publicly).

We also see Ethan and Ilsa looking at each on the boat before he takes her hand on their way to the party. This, of course, acts as yet another sweet gesture to showcase how strong their relationship is at this point but, again, Ethan doesn't seem that happy. This isn't a relaxing date (which they deserve), he looks tense as he takes her hand. Notice how he's fidgeting as he strokes her fingers and rubs his own fingers together in his free hand. It's like he's trying to hold onto her as much as he can knowing what's going to transpire and, once again, Ilsa looks like she's trying to comfort him by stroking his hand back, never taking her eyes off him. It's a nice continuation of the dynamic of their previous moment together.

And, if this is truly Ilsa's last outing? Why hold back on basically every aspect of it? If it's truly Ilsa's last fight, why not make it her biggest, baddest fight yet that showcases all of her skill but also begins to feel truly unwinnable? We've seen her face intimidating foes before, so if she's truly going to meet her match, you really need to sell to the audience that all her usual tricks aren't working and let us see on her face that she knows she's losing this fight, which would also help build a sense of dread. I've only seen the film once at this time, but I don't recall her looking too worried at any point at the party or during her fight with Gabriel. She's a brave and skilled woman of course, but she seemed incredibly unfazed by it all, almost like she knew how it was going to go. I want to add that there's no way of knowing for sure when entering into any fight that you're guaranteed to survive. Gabriel could have stabbed her anywhere and there'd be no way to anticipate that beforehand but, as I've seen pointed out, her hand is also on the knife when it plunges into her chest. The only way to know for sure where the blade would go to look deadly but still survive it would be to guide it there herself and that seems like something the skilled Ilsa would be able to pull off.

And if it's truly Ilsa's end, why not go out of your way to make it as sad as possible? What if Gabriel leaves her just alive enough for Ethan to find her and they have a heartbreaking final moment together where they perhaps exchange a line or two before he watches her die? Of course, to add insult to injury, the grieving process is pitifully brief, focusing more on Grace's reaction than Ilsa's own friends. Why not have a stronger reaction from Ethan, Benji and Luther that absolutely breaks the audience's heart? Just compare Ethan's reaction to Ilsa's death to the assumed death of Julia in MI3, the other love of his life. Yes, technically, that was a very different situation and Julia was his wife after all and Ilsa isn't, but they don't even compare. Heck, we even get to see Ethan mourn Lindsey, a friend, in M:I3 longer than Ilsa. I understand that the movie can't languish in sorrow for too long and Ethan is used to compartmentalizing to get the job done, but this is also one of the biggest losses he's suffered and right on the heels of proclaiming to his friends how he'd never let anything happen to them. This is also the longest movie in the series so far and it has no excuse for skimping on the aftermath of the death of one of its biggest and most beloved characters. Ilsa's death is sad but leaves you feeling more empty and disappointed than utterly devastated - at least for me.

We've also seen Ethan act before, as is a necessary skill for a spy, and I think the fairly subdued reaction to her death speaks to his ability to act realistically sad (he's had practice for this exact situation too as he's probably channeling all the awful things he felt when he believed her to be dead at the beginning of the movie) but also speaks to the fact that it's not actually real because if it was I think it'd be a far stronger reaction. Yes, Ethan could just be becoming desensitized to losing people after enduring it so many times but I don't think he'd hold back for Ilsa. His partner. His equal. Someone he loves deeply and offers his only chance at a life beyond this. That chance, that love, that happiness, are now gone forever and that's not something you just take in your stride.

And yes, maybe Rebecca needed or wanted out of this franchise to film other projects but that's only more reason to give her the best sendoff you possibly can and I don't think anyone, not even the director himself would be able to admit that this was worthy enough of her character and respectful to Rebecca. If even her final fight was, for whatever reason, purposefully undercut, then what else did the director choose to take away despite having so little to begin with and why? If, historically, it's not in his nature to pull something like this based on his previous work in the series and his own passionate comments regarding the character, why would he now? It's the overall lack of care in regard to her character all of a sudden that makes it all feel fishy.

And if this is it for Ethan and Ilsa, why not push the romance? Instead of just a hug on the balcony, why not feature their first kiss or, at least, a much longer conversation that cements where they really are before it all gets taken away? If the director attempted to include a kiss in the past but scrapped it because it wasn't the right time, he probably intended it to happen eventually. Why not sneak it in right before she dies if these are their last scenes together anyway? Maybe a kiss would only serve to telegraph her demise further by making the audience more nervous about her fate, but it also would have made it even sadder knowing they had finally reached that point right before she died. If the intention of all of this is truly just to make Ethan and the audience sad and it's going to hurt one way or another, you might as well push it as hard as you can to achieve the desired effect. Regardless, I believe that when she comes back in Part 2, they'll finally get that well-earned kiss and that's what the director is waiting for.

But why have Ethan lose another woman he loves at all? Why watch him go through an entire series where all he does is lose lovers only to have him ultimately end up alone especially after developing the perfect romantic partner with him and getting audiences on board with it over the course of multiple films? It all just feels unnecessarily cruel and, as it's nothing new for him, what is it really adding to the story or his character? Losing another lover is predictable at this point but bringing one back and actually letting him be happy? Now that would be a twist! What a triumphant moment it would be for Gabriel to see Ilsa return in the next movie (and perhaps have a rematch) and realize that he's the one who'd been duped? That the Entity is not infallible? That Ethan has been one step ahead of him this whole time?

I don't think I'm alone when I say that the best possible ending for the series and Ethan's story is to get to live his life with Ilsa given he wasn't able to with Julia, trusting the IMF in the hands of new operatives like Grace to carry on in their stead (notice how they focused on that other new recruit during Ethan's introduction as well like they're preparing him to pass the torch). He finally gets to go with Ilsa like she asked him in Rogue Nation and in Fallout and they both finally get out of the game and live happily in the peace that they helped ensure and so deeply deserve. Ethan has sacrificed his own happiness to save the world so many times, why can't he and Ilsa finally get to find some happiness with each other? This series has had it's bittersweet moments but it's never been a tragedy. The conflict is meant to feel insurmountable (it is called Mission: Impossible after all) but the heroes still win and get to be happy and I expect that to continue to be the case in the very end.

Now, I understand and agree with confronting real consequences as we face our final antagonist of the series, but I would honestly predict an actual death from Luther or Benji in the final film - staples of the series and longtime friends of Ethan - that would hurt the audience too but not steal a future from him and perhaps Ilsa's "death" is also meant to deflect from the real death that's coming which would still, naturally, makes things very bittersweet. That being said, if this series wanted to continue to lean into happy outcomes over sad ones, then simply having Ethan get to live peacefully in the knowledge that he was able to keep all of his friends safe would be enough for him and for me.

As of now, I'm actually feeling hopeful about the potential for Ilsa to return. I think there are currently more viable reasons for why she could still be alive than dead and I think it would vastly improve the story they're telling rather than take away from it or feel forced because, as it stands, the execution of her death does feel less than the caliber of what this series is capable of and a surprise return would certainly remedy that. It wouldn't feel like a gimmick given the nature of the series, nor do I think it would undermine the death scene we got since it didn't have any impact on the plot and barely any on the characters anyway. Ilsa returning would improve things, not take away and if this all works to bring her back, it will take what was a lackluster plot point and unceremonious exit of a major character to a brilliant showcase of subterfuge both for the characters and the audience and the latter sounds more like the Mission: Impossible I know.

The first time Ethan faked the death of a woman he loved to protect her; he lost her. Now he's had to do it again and this time, he'll get her back. There's still hope.

[furiroad]

Furiosa spoilers under the cut 🚗

It's actually staggering how much that movie did not need to exist. Gonna bullet point some thoughts

My sarcastic lol @ the lightning fast sisters cameo at the end where they're all played by completely different people. the quick flash of Cheedo's eyes bc they managed to get Courtney Eaton back for three seconds didn't appease me

I guess it technically passes the bechdel test bc right at the start Furiosa says "be still" to Valkyrie but iirc that's the only pass moment. I know not passing the bechdel test doesn't mean the movie is automatically bad I just think it's interesting considering it's following Fury Road

"she talks to her mother" I don't think they ever said her mum's name out loud

You know how mad max fury road could have a silent version w no dialogue + isolated soundtrack and it worked because you could tell what's going on anyway? This movie has the opposite problem. Way too much talking. They over-explain everything

The best bit was the prolonged torture scene at the end where Hemsworth explains Furiosa's entire character arc and the message of the movie out loud to her and also us

Even his teddy had an arm missing, replaced with a barbie arm. Thanks. We get it

Her arm made robot noises

Actually threw MY arms up in disgust when she went back for that boy she supposedly had a romance with despite the film never bothering to actually show/explain that. I'm calling it a romance because the actors did. I guess it was supposed to be a Capable/Nux parallel but it didn't work for me and not just because I'm a dyke and a hater OK, if you're gonna do a ROMANCE, DO A ROMANCE. don't leave me sitting there wondering why Furiosa is risking it all for some guy she's had ONE conversation with, especially after he offers to get her away from the Citadel and back to where she came from, WHICH IS HER ENTIRE MOTIVE EVER SINCE SHE WAS TAKEN

I DON'T GET IT

Them trying to emulate Max and Furiosa's instinctive, perfect we have to trust each other moment by having Jack and Furiosa... look at each other Meaningfully fifty times while they were supposed to be driving cars? Don't make me laugh! You will never be them!!

Max being there for a second wasn't cute! I rolled my eyes

Same at "remember me?" MAKE UP YOUR OWN STUFF

So many things happened because they needed to happen (plot demanded it) and didn't make any sense in context. My favourite was when Furiosa rode her motorcycle up a dune to get away after cutting off her arm and the biker gang couldn't follow her up there for some reason

So much Christian imagery... threw me off tbh

Considering it's Furiosa's movie it sure isn't about her + she doesn't speak at all for almost the first half

This movie was way too long

I called it about the peach seed

I called it that she cut her own arm off

George Miller read some of my blog but not all of it

You know how The People Eater rubbed his nipple that one time and it was delightfully weird and gross and got a good reaction? Well in this movie he's constantly rubbing it, the whole time. Really lessens the impact of the nipple rub

As you can see this movie has made me insane

Like this is not really about the nipple rub but do you get what I'm saying here

Furiosa spends most of the movie hiding her hair (because as we all know, having long hair immediately identifies you as a woman) and then when her head covering gets knocked off and her hair is revealed (omg she's a girl) she leaves it like that and becomes an Imperator. On what planet

The history man frames the entire movie for some reason. Do they show Miss Giddy? Take a wild guess

One of the coolest parts of fury road was that a gang of bikers ended up being hardcore wasteland grannies w guns and loose morals in response to people fucking around for far too long without finding out. Did this movie have anything like that for me? Take a wild guess for a second time

The car fight scenes weren't even that great. Couldn't remember hearing any good music under them (brother in arms truly lightning in a bottle) and they went on for too long which feels wild to say about suped up car battles in the australian wasteland: 2 but oh well. This is how I feel. Fury Road was so good at carefully measuring out high octane action and then downtime and careful, quiet character introspection and this movie had no idea what it was doing either way

Honestly I don't hate it but I feel like it was a waste of time and it doesn't need to exist at all. A real nothing experience. Am I going to see this movie ten times in cinemas? No I am not even going to see it twice in cinemas

I don't know what I was expecting.

oh my god also they played clips of Fury Road over the credits as if to say "remember how fucking good this is in comparison to the dumb shit you just watched"

[werewolfsmile]

I need to know your thoughts on what was going through werewolf!Eliot's mind wen the team was filming Howl Force, the werewolves-attack-NATO movie in "The Stork Job"

Ohhh myy goodnessss I completely forgot about that!!!!!!

Eliot took one look at the script and rolled his eyes so hard that it hurt.

He definitely encountered some local werewolves on the set and they all shared commiserating looks of can you believe we're producing this crap??

His training and discipline were the only things stopping him from interrupting filming with corrections every time the 'werewolves' did something completely inaccurate.

The pre-recorded howls used on the film set are not from wolves local to the region where the movie is set. Eliots tries really, really hard to let it go ... he can't.

"Wha- No! We're not changing the wolf howls just because you think it's the wrong wolf dialect or something. That doesn't even make sense."

"It's a very distinctive howl, Nate!"

"We're not even really making this movie!"

(fun fact: wolves actually do have different 'dialects' depending on where they live in the world!)

The only good thing to come out of that movie experience (y'know, aside from the con they were pulling) was knowing that none of the werewolf lore in the movie was accurate. Eliot doesn't have to worry about his secret being exposed in that way.

Later, when the Big Reveal happens, Hardison remembers this movie plot and how annoying Eliot was on the set when he wasn't conning Irina.

"Wait, Eliot, hold up. Howl Force is real??"

"Are you kiddin' me?? Y'think werewolves would have any reason to kill NATO troops? That movie was a disgrace!"

"I liked the howls."

"Dammit, Parker!"

Sophie is instantly bitter about the reminder of her lost reel.

[kzmi-j]

Okay, so Wish SUCKED ASS, I think we can all agree on that. The concepts were a ton better than the actual movie, there was so much missed opportunities and ruined potential, and I'll said it many time and I'll say it again :

MAGNIFICO WAS A GREAT CHARACTER, and he had SO MUCH potential, and I'm SO angry, but I love him SO much.

The part about his family? Ruined potential, it could've been an insane backstory for him. And I feel like it created a huge plot hole in his character.

His wife turning against him? Ruined potential, the concept of the evil couple was amazing! Why didn't they stick with it, I don't know, but it sucks.

Him being the villain in the first place doesn't make any sense. He's not a villain, antagonist to Asha sure, but he isn't a bad guy at all. The point in all Disney movies is that every character says what they think when they sing. Even Hans in Frozen when he sang with Anna did throw some hints about his true intentions, but not Magnifico. I listen to At All Cost so many times, and there is not one hint that he was evil from the start.

In his mind there was a war coming to Rosas, he felt threatened, and he wanted to do his best to protect his people and they were still ungrateful. It's the whole point of This is the Thanks I Get?, he felt betrayed. The part that he's a narcissist? It's so irrelevant. It hasn't been mentioned once before (beside the "you're right, I am a handsome king." Can you blame him? He is handsome.), and they put it here to excuse their decision of making him a villain. 'Bou-hou Magnifico loves himself more than anyone else, that's why he's bad'. No? All he did during YEARS was to protect Rosas, and I couldn't agree more with him when he says that some wishes cannot be granted because they may be dangerous in the future. He thinks of his people over everything else, because he knows their wishes, and they don't. He protects them from themselves. But he doesn't destroy their dreams, he keeps the wishes safe and keeps their hopes up that one day their wish might be granted.

So, why didn't he grant Sabo's innocent wish, then? Because he felt pressured. Asha barely stepped into his office and asked him to grant her grandpa's wish. When he explained why he wouldn't grant it, she insisted. He cracked, and this one line made him the villain. "I decide what everyone deserves." Well, yeah? He's the King? And he has been a GOOD king until now.

Not to mention that he wasn't evil until he opened the book. Really, like I said, This is the Thanks I Get? is a bullshit song that justifies his 'evilness' and makes a giant plot hole, but in the end, it was just him panicking. His people are ungrateful and unhelpful, Rosas is still in danger and he's frustrated. He decides to take the book because it seems like the only choice left. You can clearly see the switch. He becomes happier, crazier, his emotions are out of control, because he's controlled by the book. From then on, Magnifico isn't himself, and THEN he is the villain. Not before. Only from here.

The people of Rosas are good. Magnifico included.

I'm a huge Magnifico defender as you can see, change my mind. He's my baby and I love him.

I didn't mean for it to be that long buuuut

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Hey Raven, are you going to watch the upcoming new Disney movie "Wish"?

I've seen mixed reviews, but i'm lowkey excited since we get to see a new Disney villain, especially since Disney got really lame villains after all the old classic movies!

Have you seen the trailer for the movie? What are your thoughts so far?

I saw Wish with a friend recently! I'll give my thoughts on the trailers here (in case you don't want spoilers for the film itself) and put my full thoughts beneath the cut (if you're okay with spoilers).

Looks-wise, I think Disney was definitely trying to go for something more stylistic and painting-esque for this?? And while I commend the effort, it definitely doesn't look as interesting as Puss in Boots 2: The Last Wish. The humor also definitely isn't for me, it feels very "quirky" and "so relatable" (Asha reminds me of Mirabel in that sense), and other times too juvenile (like the goat butt joke). I do like the idea of the villain passing as a good guy in-universe and actually being vain and selfish, especially since the marketing is making it clear who the bad guy is rather than making it a "twist" villain scenario. Not sure if I like Magnifico himself though??? All the ads with him in it feel like Disney is trying too hard to make people thirst for him. From just the trailers, Magnifico does seem interesting and like more of a return to the traditional "villain" rather than the protagonist having to deal with an existential dread or concept.

***Spoilers for Wish beneath the cut!***

Right off the bat, my first impression is the narrative is SO ham-fisted. Within the first 5 minutes alone we're establishing so much information and in such a clunky, unnatural way. Like... Asha says hi to her friends but then they robotically have a dialogue where they overtly call each other "friends" just so it's clear to the audience (when in reality no one talks like that). It's telling instead of showing, and this happens sooo many times early in the film.

Could not for the life of me remember the friends or their names. There were just too many of them when 1 or 2 would have been just fine to move the plot along and to help Asha. (Yes, I know they're a reference to the 7 Dwarves but it's STILL not necessary to have so many just for a reference.)

Bruh, the makeup in this movie is on point. Every time there was a close up of a character, I was staring at their eye makeup (especially Asha and the queen's).

Asha as a protagonist was... fine? She feels very close to Mirabel and at times Rapunzel in her character. I didn't dislike her by any means, but she didn't reinvent what it means to be a Disney protag. Her motivations also come off as… really “out of nowhere”. We’re told she “cares too much”, but she initially only wants to save the wishes of her mom and grandpa; she randomly decides she has to free ALL wishes midmovie and that was jarring. There could have been a smoother transition. Instead, it was abrupt and Asha didn’t change in any meaningful way. Even her “I want” song was vague (what exactly is “to have something more for us than this”?) and didn’t connect well with her character.

I do really like her design though! Her freckles, earrings, and how her hair moves are my favorite details.

Valentino was not as annoying as I thought he would be. Still didn't care for his sass and brand of humor, but at least he helped out a few times.

I called it, the film is trying so hard to make Magnifico "hot" 🤡 I don't get it but okay, Mouse. I see your effort.

Loved his fit!! Very cool cloak and diamond/star motifs everywhere! His lab and study was also fun to look at.

I quite liked the moments when the queen talked to her husband and tried to smooth things over with him. “I can fix him energy”— Their relationship seemed very genuine at the start of the movie.

NOT THE WISH NEPOTISM...

If they were going for “sympathetic” with Magnifico, it didn’t work. He gave this backstory about how he was traumatized before + left as the only survivor of a great tragedy and so now he wants to use his magic to prevent that from happening to anyone else. Thing is, we only ever know about this via his word and staring at a half-burnt tapestry. We never see the event on screen, nor what was left of the tapestry. I was expecting a twist where it’s revealed that he lied all this time about his backstory and rewrote history so he could more easily manipulate the people of the kingdom he founded and live out the fantasy of being worshipped as a “good guy”. That was such a missed opportunity!!

Something else I was thinking of (this was during “This is the Thanks I get” was??? Maybe Magnifico started off genuinely good but became worn down over time as people’s wishes grew more selfish and they became ungrateful for what they had?? Then he could have become bitter and disillusioned by the behavior of his people.

Another idea is maybe Magnifico was “villainous” only in Asha’s eyes, since they don’t agree on how to best handle granting wishes. This would be more of a clash of ideologies rather than the traditional Obvious Evil vs Obvious Good that Disney is so known for, but hey, it could be a neat evolution of their storytelling from classic fairy tale roots.

This is to say that there were so many more interesting directions they could have gone with Magnifico’s motives, character, and portrayal 😭 but the second half of the movie never commits to any of these, they just blame his complete insanity and turn to the dark side on Forbidden Magic which is such a cop-out.

The trailers gave away the twist that Magnifico was the villain. It wasn’t revealed until like the second song into the movie. Would’ve worked better as an on-the-spot reveal rather than part of the marketing, in my opinion.

When they showed the wishes, the TWST fan in my was shouting, "OMG IT'S WISH UPON A STAR, THE LIMITED TIME STORY EVENT FROM THE HIT DISNEY MOBILE GACHA GAME TWISTED WONDERLAND!!!"

As Wish is Disney's anniversary film for 100 years, there were tooons of easter eggs scattered throughout. (I had fun looking for them!) Some were visual (I saw Aurora's dress, Snow White’s well, Peter's Pan's costume, Ursula's green smokey hands, Asha's robes resembling those of the Fairy Godmother, etc.) or extended imagery/scenes (Asha recreates Mulan's dinner and “Reflection" scenes), others were more overt lines of dialogue (Magnifico says the "Mirror, Mirror" lines along with others, a deer named “Bambi”, Valentino mentions an animal metropolis in reference to Zootopia, etc.).

In theory, the wish magic sounds cool but has so much that isn't explained??? And yeah, it's magic so it technically doesn't have to be. However, there are things not explained even when it is important to the plot. For example, Magnifico crushes some wishes and seems to absorb their power for himself (including the wish of Asha's MOM, so you'd think this would be important)? The consequence of this is that the wish's owners... become sad??? Okay, what are the long-term effects??? Why isn’t this fully explored?? But then later in the film we see the same people whose wishes were crushed... regenerate their wish??? So what, he has to keep reaping them??? And why are the wishes only taken at 18 years old? What if a wish changes? Ironically, the townspeople of Rosas have a scene where they question the technicalities of this wish magic. Magnifico essentially tells them to shut up, and it kinda felt like Disney was telling us to not question their lore www

It was weird that they never fully explored the ramifications of going without your wish. You’d think they’d show us people without ambition or hope (which would incentivize Asha to return their wishes), but everyone seems blissfully happy without their wishes?? The only exception is Asha’s friend that betrays her (cannot for the life of me remember his name), and that’s namely because his asshole friends keep ragging on him for it.

I thought the movie was going to go in a “you can make your own wish come true!!” direction but NOPE, turns out it’s just magic. Felt like Disney unintentionally wrote a whole movie about "wishes not coming true unless some big powerful entity allows it to come true” (Asha literally becomes the fairy godmother of Rosas at the end, making her ultimately no different than Magnifico)… ie a metaphor for how Disney owns so many properties it practically owns our childhoods www

"The power of friendship saves the day" ending 🤣 It was very Paper Mario ending-esque...

A song saving the day though?? It’s giving the Illumination Lorax film…

I was right about the humor. Too "quirky" and/or juvenile for me.

Animation was alright? Nothing awful about it, it just didn't feel as detailed or as experimental as other films with a similar style.

Songs were mid, which checks out with the recent Disney music excluding We Don't Talk About Bruno--

Some of the lyrics however were awful. “I let you live here for free and I don’t even charge you rent” is redundant. “So I throw caution to every warning sign” means you’ll show more caution than usual, not that you’ll forego caution. The correct expression is “throw caution to the wind”. Etc, etc, etc.

There was a cute after credits scene where they reveal that Asha's 100 year old grandpa (same age as Disney omg) wrote the "When You Wish Upon a Star" theme, which was sweet since his wish was "wanting to make a mark".

THE BEST PART OF THE MOVIE WAS STAR!! It was very cute (partly because it couldn't talk and just jingled and giggled, I was dreading another annoying mascot animal voice) and reminds me of my own pet… The way Star infused everything with glitter and formed unique shapes with the red twine was so fun 😭 I'M A STAR STAN, IT WAS ADORABLE AND KINDA BRATTY AND I'M LIVING FOR IT

Decent ideas, "meh" execution. Enchanted and Shrek did it better in terms of self-aware, fairy tale defying stories. It felt as though the movie was trying to deliver a profound message but got lost in the sauce of making as making Disney references possible and didn't fully commit to actually saying something meaningful. As a result, the film feels somewhat… hollow.

That one friend betraying Asha was the biggest surprise in the film but I still saw it coming 😂 I do get where he’s coming from though (being worried that his wish won’t ever come true) but it also felt like his conflict wasn’t resolved??? It might have gone better if the movie actually fully tried to push the “you can make your own wish come true” message (to reinvigorate the traitor to make his dreams a reality on his own) but they don’t 💦

Wish didn’t end up being “the wishing star’s origin story” because not once did anyone question where Star came from or why it was different from other stars (or what the significance of Magnifico blotting out the other stars was).

I think the people that would enjoy this movie are the people that are already highly invested in Disney and the nostalgia of it.

... Anyway, stan Star 🤩 (and the talking mushrooms 🍄)

[thecarnivorousmuffinmeta]

Do you think they should have went with the Chosen One plot for Anakin when they made the prequels? I've been rewatching the original trilogy and there is no mention of any prophecy. It seemed more like Anakin was a very powerful Jedi, but nothing grander then that.

Then, all of sudden the prequels are saying that he is the literal messiah of the Galaxy, destined to bring balance to the Force.

I mean, this isn't the blog for that, anon.

It's really not the blog for it not just in the sense that we talk about how things are here not how we want them to be but also because I think the Original Trilogy are also incredibly bad movies. They're not winning awards for being any better than the rest of the gang or any more righteous, they just have nostalgia, a few great actors carrying the weight (but only a few and not even some of the most important ones), a fantastic soundtrack (that admittedly is strikingly similar in parts to Holst's The Planets), and some great special effects and editing as of the time that George has tried to strip away with every passing year. It's no skin off my nose if the Prequels took some liberties to make things better (and... the thing about The Prequels is that they're not better, of course, but the plot is a lot more compelling than 'the Death Star blew up once' followed by a short break then 'the Death Star blew up twice')

But as for your question, it didn't strike me as too odd we didn't hear of it, because that's the whole thing: Jedi culture is wiped out to two known survivors (that we see anyway). And per those Jedi survivors, Anakin was very clearly not the chosen one as he did anything but bring balance to the Force.

So, you have Obi-Wan who doesn't want to talk about fucking any of it and lies through his teeth multiple times to Luke because he just doesn't want to talk about any of it. Then you have Yoda who wants to talk about it even less.

Neither is bringing up "did you know there was this prophecy where your father was supposed to bring balance to the Force? Boy, did he sure not do that".

Vader certainly isn't bringing it up either as, well, look at his miserable life and how much he hates himself and the Jedi. He's not bringing up their stupid prophecy that clearly wasn't true.

Remember very little is known about the Jedi for the common people, especially after Palpatine's taken over and spread propaganda and such. Han doesn't even think the Jedi are real and if he does it's "that weird space religion cult thing that died out???"

That is to say the prophecy is not common knowledge and especially not for people like Luke, Han, or even Leia for that matter for all she's a little more Jedi adjacent.

Even within the Jedi we see that people don't take the prophecy seriously. That was a Qui-Gon thing. He was super into that prophecy, yo, and the other Jedi (Yoda, Mace, Obi-Wan even) all sort of stared at him looking very upset for insisting on this.

And in the war, while Anakin was an exceptionally talented Jedi, he wasn't really used as a propaganda piece/seen as the only Jedi who would save them all.

The prophecy was just the reason Qui-Gon insists on training him despite his age and is one of those things that seems to have actually been correct for all that no one will ever admit it.

(@therealvinelle can correct me if I'm wrong but I'm going to lay down something that will make people very upset: Anakin being "The Hero with No Fear", seen as one of two great Jedi in the war who are doing so much for the cause more than anyone else, and the extra focus on this prophecy was an invention of Disney's 2008 The Clone Wars, not the films.)

[yumeka-sxf]

Spy x Family movie CODE: White plot chronology predictions

Now that we've gotten both a teaser trailer and a full trailer for the SxF movie, I thought it would be fun to theorize about what the exact order of events would be for the movie's plot, based on the trailers and short synopsis we've gotten so far. Then, when the movie is finally released, I'm curious to see how accurate my predictions were or if they were way off! 😅

(Just note that anything in this post that's not mentioned in the official synopsis is my personal speculation, so please take it with a grain of salt!)

My first guess is that the scenes of Loid and Yor doing their spy/assassin work will happen at the very beginning of the movie, as it makes sense to introduce the audience to the basics of the characters for all the non-fans who are watching.

The first part of the movie's synopsis describes how WISE wants to replace Twilight with another man as the head of Operation Strix...a man who is apparently "incompetent." Now we haven't seen any other new character in the movie promotion besides the villains, so I don't know who this person is. However, I would assume this means we get scenes of Twilight talking to Sylvia. OR! There's this below scene of Twilight catching a rolled up message from the sky. Since he's still dressed in his usual outfit, this takes place before they leave on the trip. So maybe this message is a cipher or something from WISE about how he's getting replaced and he doesn't actually meet with Sylvia (the scenes of Sylvia/WISE from the trailer would occur later).

Next, the synopsis describes the cooking competition at Eden where a stella is rumored to be the reward. This is probably where we get the scenes of the Eden kids and Henderson. I doubt they'll have bigger parts in the movie besides cameos at the beginning and maybe the end.

The synopsis continues with Loid suggesting that Anya make the "Melemele," a traditional pastry from the Frejis region and a favorite of the principal, who is also the head of the judging panel for the cooking competition. Since Anya getting a stella would help him show progress with Operation Strix, and possibly prevent him from being replaced, Loid decides that they should take a family trip to Frejis. That would be the below scene from the first trailer.

The synopsis then mentions how Yor "witnesses an exchange between Loid and a mysterious woman before their departure, resulting in some uneasiness about their temporary relationship during the trip." (Yor's expression when Loid mentions the trip in the scene above does look a tad "uneasy" to me). As for who this woman is, I think it's either Fiona in disguise or possibly Loid himself in disguise as a woman, since the disguise he's seen wearing at the beginning of the teaser trailer appears to have blonde curly locks.

The below scene of Loid putting on his movie jacket probably occurs right before they leave on the trip. The scenery in front of him looks like it could be either at home or at his workplace. In this scene he's probably thinking about how he has to make the Frejis trip worthwhile for Operation Strix.

Next from the synopsis is how Anya finds a trunk case on the train with chocolate inside. We see in the teaser trailer that she gets a hold of a key to the trunk (it looks like the key is lying on a sink perhaps, since there's water near it?) She then accidentally eats the chocolate before the trunk's owner comes back.

At first I thought she ate the chocolate later, in front of the villains, which made them immediately kidnap her, but the synopsis specifically says she found the trunk on the train. You can also see in the background of the two above screenshots that it very much looks like a dark, luggage compartment of a train. I doubt they take another train ride after this, so my guess is that she ate the chocolate on the train without anyone seeing her eat it, but one of the bad guys witnessed her sneaking around or acting suspicious in the general area. However, he didn't check the contents of the trunk until later and, when he realizes the chocolate is gone, he immediately tries to track her down.

The synopsis stops with Anya eating the chocolate, but there's still a lot to piece together from just the trailers! Next would be the scenes of the Forgers spending family time upon arriving at Frejis. Loid takes Anya around the booths at what appears to be some kind of fair/festival, Anya and Bond play in the snow, and Loid buys Yor lipstick, perhaps because he senses her uneasiness about the mysterious woman (she's shown to be wearing the lipstick in later scenes).

I also think that Loid buys Anya the toy gun here, which she's seen brandishing later.

After this, the Forgers eat some delicious Frejis cuisine. Just a note that Loid has taken off his scarf and coat, and Yor and Anya took off their coats and hats.

It looks like they're staying at a fancy hotel of some sort? Assuming the below big ballroom is part of where they're staying. I wonder if they're staying in the same room with one bed? Or separate rooms?

Maybe Yor and Anya are sharing a room, since we have the below sweet scene of Yor putting a blanket over sleeping Anya.

By now the villains have realized that the chocolate has been taken/eaten, so the next day they track down the little pink-haired girl who was seen loitering around the train luggage compartment! Somehow they find Anya and succeed in kidnaping her. How exactly they succeed, I'm still not sure, but let's see what we can piece together...

What stands out the most is obviously that they grab her in front of Bond and he attacks.

The question is of course, are Loid and Yor present for this? It's possible Anya sneaks away for some reason with only Bond, and they find out later that she was kidnapped. One of the trailers has dialogue from Loid saying "Anya got caught up in the military?" The way he says this gives the impression that he finds out about it later. However, I also see evidence for him and Yor being present as well. We have the below scene of Loid looking very cautious as the military guys surround him. My guess for this scene is that they're telling him what Anya did and they have to take her away, that he shouldn't resist, etc.

There's also the below scene of Yor seemingly attacking someone. The background looks like a similar location to the aforementioned scenes of Loid and Anya/Bond, though it's not an exact match. At first I thought it was a scene from the train where Anya eats the chocolate, since it looks like she's standing in a narrow train compartment...except for the fact that she's wearing the lipstick, so it must take place after they arrive in Frejis. So I'm placing it in relation to Anya's kidnapping, though I'm still iffy about it.

But if Loid and Yor did witness Anya getting kidnapped, were they unable to prevent it? What happens between the point of Anya getting kidnapped and the end of the movie is still very unclear, but again, I think we have enough info to speculate. Obviously this opens up potential for a TON of Twiyor goodness...like, the two of them trying to comfort each other about failing to protect Anya and trying not to think about what terrible things the villains might do to her. They could even come up with a plan to work together to stop the villains. BUT! It's also possible that they go after her on their own, like, Yor is able to keep following the villains to the airship or wherever their HQ is while Twilight is left behind to gather information with help from WISE and/or Franky.

Speaking of Franky, I think he either appears at this point in the story, to give intel to Twilight that could help with finding Anya, or earlier before they arrive at Frejis. However, I'm still not sure where Yuri fits in. I doubt he'll be part of the main action during the movie's third act, so maybe he'll have a quick cameo at the beginning like the Eden kids.

Anyway, I believe this is the point where Sylvia and WISE make an appearance. Maybe after Twilight contacts them and tells them what happened to Anya, we get the scene from the trailer of Sylvia mentioning the importance of the microfilm. HOWEVER! I also think this scene could have occurred way earlier, maybe even before they arrived at Frejis, so during the trip Twilight is on the lookout for this microfilm. But for now I'm saying we get this WISE scene around the time of Anya's kidnapping.

Then there's the above scene of Fiona arriving in Frejis to possibly help Loid with stopping the villains. At first I thought this scene may have happened before they got to Frejis (and was the scene that made Yor jealous). However, there's snow falling during this scene, so it must take place after they arrived. But again, if Sylvia informed the WISE agents about the microfilm earlier in the story, Fiona may have come to Frejis earlier as well to let Twilight know to look out for it.

We know that Bond managed to tear off one of the guy's military insignia. So Twilight uses this to help make disguises for himself and Fiona to infiltrate the military airship/base (though makes me wonder why he needs to wear their uniforms since a bunch of them already saw his face...maybe to fool the ones who haven't? Was he unable to get one of his face masks?) If Fiona is indeed helping Twilight infiltrate the military airship, that's another reason to believe that Twilight and Yor are working separately to save Anya.

There's a plane present in one of the trailers as well as the original movie visual, so maybe that's what they use to reach the airship?

As for the final battle with the villains, I'm pretty sure Yor will fight Type-F, the robot guy. The fiery hue in the below screenshots makes it look like they're from the same scene.

However, there's also the below scene of Yor seemingly standing on top of the airship (with her coat still on). This scene probably happens before they send in Type-F to stop her.

As for Twilight, seems like he fights Snyder, the military colonel. The animation style for this scene is an interesting choice...I feel like they'll put some kind of epic song/music over it.

And, probably towards the end of the final battle, Twilight has to steer the damaged airship to safety (some point before then he gets rid of his military disguise).

I wonder where Bond is during all this. Did they leave him behind at the hotel? Did he come with Twilight? I also wonder what exactly was the villains' plan with Anya. If they want a microfilm from a chocolate that she ate, how can they get it back once she's eaten it? Any answer I can think of is extremely violent/disgusting, too much for a series like SxF, lol. Also, what made them change their minds from kidnaping her, to killing her, to holding her hostage? (since there's the scene of her bound and gagged)

And lastly, two scenes that I have no idea about are the below screenshots of someone readying guns. The clothes they're wearing don't match anyone from the movie as of now. So all I can speculate is that they could be random thugs from Twilight's and/or Yor's introduction missions from the very beginning of the movie.

And that's pretty much it! After the big battle in the movie's climax, everyone's reunited and Anya definitely will not earn a stella 😂 (since I'm sure the movie isn't allowed to affect the canon that much).

I spent way too long on this to most likely be proven more wrong than right later 🤣 There's also the chance that some scenes in the trailer won't even be in the final cut of the movie, lol. But it was fun speculating anyway! If we get another trailer or significant info that sheds more light on the movie's plot, I may update this post later.

[johnslittlespoon]

ok okokk i may be pushing it but i just cant stop picturing barry circa 2012 with leaving!bucky. i just feel like theyd have the cutest dynamic ever. he gives art student vibes like maybe hes studying film or literature. theyre childhood bestfriends and maybe they were eachother's homoerotic-codependent-friendship canon event. UGHH theyd be so cute stfuu. and maybe bucky and gale are already established and curt is just yearning for a whileee like over a year of slow burn until the three of them are a throuple... idk i just miss curtbuckbucky. you dont have to change your canon for the long fic i just needed to share this idea lmfao

au post | NO ur not pushing it this is such fun world building teehee <33 genuinely this is gonna help me later for drafting! (FUCK MY LIFE HOW IS THIS 2K WORDS. i thought i only had a few thoughts... i was so wrong. my bad chief. enjoy/suffer ig)

ok so this is so funny because i've actually been thinking ab how sweet those two would be together, cute little nerdy besties, and how they'd meet because of course curt has to be in this fic!!

and the first thing my mind went to was the cliche homoerotic codependent friendship trope too LMAO. i'm feeling like maybe they meet on the first day of highschool; neither of them share their english class with any friends, and they end up sat next to each other, and john keeps side–eyeing him because curt looks... interesting. (ie: deep into his emo phase. the fringe. the smudged eyeshadow. chipped black nail polish, band shirts– all things john does not let him live down as they grow up.)

but his eyes settle on some pin on curt's jacket that has some character from his favourite movie or something, and the yap jumps out, john can't control it. blurts out a "you like ___ too?!" and curt's head snaps over and he nods nervously and john takes one look at those big sad charcoal–ringed blue puppy eyes and is like yup. this is the one. will protect with my life.

(tiny headcanon that rly won't have a big effect on plot or anything, but i feel like it just fits very well with john/his character in leaving– dude's got madddd undiagnosed adhd. he's written off as a loud mouth/troublemaker in his childhood, but he wants to be a good kid, his mind is just always going too fast and sitting still is torture and his parents get frustrated and don't look into the root of the problem, trying to discipline it out of him instead. i will heal my inner child by healing him alright)

they're attached at the hip from that moment on and it makes sense to no one because they seem like complete opposites, curt more inclined towards the arts and bookish things and his friends are all the same, whereas john is more inclined towards athletics and science and hangs around that type of crowd as well. but they both love video games and movies and music and they bond over never really feeling like they fit in anywhere particular and both groups of friends get along just fine when they all get together. <3

but yk time goes on, they learn things about themselves as they grow up, and curt and john are so close and spend so much time together that they're already a lot closer than regular friends– they just don't realize it. they think nothing of cuddling up on the couch watching movies together, or sharing a bed when john stays over at curt's place after he gets into a fight with his parents, or being much more interested in spending time together than pursuing girls.

and curt's pretty– john nearly mistakes him for a girl that first day they meet. the summer before their senior year, john practically spends the whole summer at curt's house, and curt's mom doesn't mind; she works long hours and is glad her son isn't spending the summer moping around indoors alone, and she loves john and gets the feeling that her home is a sanctuary for him. one day they're in the backyard lazing around, and they get onto the topic of first kisses, and neither of them have had a proper relationship outside of those classic week–long middleschool flings that don't actually mean anything, so there's not much to talk about.

but being dumb teenage boys, they start worrying about "what if we're really bad at kissing and no girls wanna go with us to senior prom this year" etc. and one of them pops the suggestion of practicing together, and thus begins a summer of sweet stolen kisses and hand holding and experimenting and dancing around calling it something. it ends when the summer does because they realize that they both work better as friends, but they're as close as ever and both definitely learn they aren't straight (and they probably make a cute pact– "if we aren't in love by the time we're thirty, we'll just marry each other.")

i don't see them really doing much together because they're young and shy and inexperienced, but it's enough for john to decide that yeah, he definitely likes guys too, but that's all that really amounts to (until he meets gale) because he's growing up in a small town in wisconsin and it's not the easiest/most accepting place to find other queers. john probably ends up dating a real sweet girl during his last year of highschool, but she's going away for college and john's going to a local one so it ends amicably at the end of summer, both of them staying close friends. (if we wanna get sickeningly wholesome, maybe she ends up pining for a girl while john's pining for gale and they share their little stories and give each other advice and facetime every week to catch up <3)

(++ curt ends up falling head over heels for ken, who he meets through john when curt and john's friend groups get together for movie nights or summer parties. john pretends to be annoyed at how lovesick they are when they first start crushing, but he ends up matchmaking and being the one to push them to confess their feelings after graduation because he loves his friends.)

BUT THEN, leaving this fic's 'canon' to elaborate on the throuple stuff you said! i miss curtbuckbucky too </3

in a separate universe, curt doesn't end up with ken, and as much as he loves his friendship with john and agrees that a relationship wouldn't have worked at that time in their lives, he spends that first year of college pining. when john starts talking about some guy named gale during their second year, he's a little sad, but mostly protective, because "what do you MEAN he's in his 30s??" and "he's a BIKER?"

but john eventually introduces him to gale after a few months of telling curt about him, probably once he and gale actually start seeing each other, and curt immediately gets it. and then he's in double–hell because not only is he a bit (a lot) in love with his best friend, but he's blushing every time said best friend's new bf talks to him, and they're gonna notice eventually if they haven't already and he feels so guilty.

more yearning ensues and john is dense and doesn't realize but gale picks up on it, maybe even notices john doing a bit of pining of his own that john's not fully aware of. and his heart twists because his mind goes to his own insecurities about how john should be seeing someone his own age, so he sits john down and opens up a conversation about it. john is adamant that he's very, very happy with gale, but he tells gale about his and curt's past and admits that he has always still had feelings for him, but insists that it's not something he'd ever pursue, that he values curt's friendship more.

gale throws him off by saying he wouldn't mind if john wanted to explore those feelings, and at first john gets anxious gale is calling things off with the two of them and this is his way of softening the blow, but gale reassures him that's not the case, that he's very happy with their relationship. he just encourages that if he wants to talk to curt and feel things out, he wouldn't be opposed to john and curt seeing each other as well– gale's often busy, after all, so it would be nice for john to have someone else, as long as curt's comfortable with that kind of arrangement and as long as john keeps gale in the loop.

they decide to kinda just feel it out as they go, but soon enough gale starts coming home from work every so often to find the two of them curled up on his couch together, sweet and innocent. curt's wary at first, always slightly detaching himself from john when gale's around, but gale is always friendly and doesn't change up his routine, settling on the couch at john's other side like it's not a big deal at all, wanting to show curt he's welcome there, not wanting john to feel guilty.

it's another scenario where lines just sorta start to blur over time, curt spending a lot of time over at gale's house, and gale sees the way curt looks at him, probably noticed it from the first time they met but chalked it up to nerves at the time. curt's an angel and he's grown quite fond of him, but he doesn't want to overstep, so he leaves it up to curt, thinking maybe the boy will mention it to john one day and john will in turn come to gale to talk about it.

and eventually that happens, just like gale thought it might. curt's just gone home and john's head is in his lap on the couch while they watch tv, and john asks "what do you think about curt?" and gale tells him that he's sweet and he loves how much john smiles when he's around him, the usual. "so you like him?" john pushes, and gale immediately has a feeling where this conversation is going, drags his eyes away from the tv to look down at john.

says "of course" easily, and lets john take his time forming his thoughts. john ends up telling him that he and curt were fooling around earlier while gale was at work (and god help gale for the images that puts in his head) and that he'd made some offhand comment about how curt better hurry up if he doesn't want gale to come home and catch him half naked on their couch. and john's all shy when he says "and curt, uh. y'know. that... did it for him" with a vague gesture LOL. gale never fails to find it amusing how certain things can fluster john to talk about after all they've done together.

"so, anyway. i asked him about it after, if it was a coincidence, and he was real shy about it, but he did admit after a whole lot of apologizing that he likes you." gale listens to him nervously get his words out, petting his hair encouragingly, waits for him to be done before he asks "how do you feel about that?" only to watch the flush return when john mumbles "it's hot."

this is getting sooo long i need to take away my own typing privileges, but basically that's how things would start between the three of them– john and gale agree that gale will let himself be a bit flirty with curt and see how curt takes it. obviously this goes a little too well when curt gets hot and bothered sat between john and gale during a movie night with john's hand on his knee and gale's arm resting on the couch behind him while he plays with curt's hair.

the movie is forgotten when gale's finger catches on a tangled curl and curt doesn't bite back the little whine that slips out in time and john's head snaps over and he mumbles a "fuck" when he realizes what's happened, and his lack of filter comes out to play when he turns to curt and asks "curt, can gale kiss you?" and curt turns to gale with big doll eyes and nods.

john ends up palming himself over his shorts as he watches gale coax curt into his lap, face hot and pupils blown as he gets to see both his guys make out in front of him, almost dizzy seeing curt get so shy and needy and pliant because when it's just the two of them, he and curt are both very balanced in their dynamic. they've been such close friends for so long that not much gets the other truly shy like that, and they're always quick to voice their wants and crack jokes while fooling around and all. so to see curt get so flustered in that way with gale has him lightheaded, and by the time they all collapse into gale's bed at the end of the night, john's convinced this is the best decision he's ever made.

there's a lot of pining on curt's end because for a while it's kinda just sex when it's the three of them, and he loves it but he also finds himself wanting more but feeling too scared to voice it because he feels like he's intruding. but eventually they all get their shit sorted out; curt fits into their relationship just right in a way gale and john never intended or expected, and gale falls for curt just as much as john has and curt does the same with gale.

gale's got two sweet things glued to his side now and man, do they ever give him a run for his money, and if he'd thought john had too much energy (and stamina) it's nothing compared to keeping up with both of them, but he wouldn't have it any other way. <3

throuple things won't be happening in the actual fic, but i do love the idea of exploring the dynamic the three of them might have in a spin–off of that au so this was rly fun thx :-) maybe i'll write a pwp oneshot set in that universe as an excuse to write more curtbuckbucky once the fic is done LOL we'll see!

[that-irishman-fan]

night at the museum jedtavius as dads to a daughter headcanons!

[ Full credit to the owners of the GIF and Night At The Museum, none of these characters are mine in any way! ]

FANDOM: Night At The Museum, 2006

GENRE: Headcanons, parenting au, LGBTQIA+, and fluff!

SYNOPSIS: What's its like being the daughter of Jedidiah and Octavius!

TRIGGER WARNINGS: Female coded reader, angst at some parts, and minor swearing, this is meant to be fluffy!

Notes: I started these headcanons with a daughter/female reader in mind, since that's how the idea popped into my head—but I am already planning out two other parts for a son/male coded reader and for a gender neutral set in the future. I realize it would be unfair to not follow up with similar ones, since I understand my audience is absolutely not exclusively women. So, keep a watch for parts two and three to come soon!

I also want to note quickly that there will be some worldbuilding sections I've included—just adding in some extra exhibits we don't see in the first movie as a sort of behind the scenes slash for plot thing. With that said, let's dive right in!

• Let's start by establishing your role in this situation. You'd be one of the full sized models on display, much like Teddy Roosevelt and Sacagawea ( take your choice as to what historical period, it doesn't really make a difference ). You arrived a while ago as a part of a brand new exhibit meant to reignite interest in the museum. Discombobulated, frightened, and frankly lonely, you searched for friends in this strange new place. It ended up being Jedidiah, the cowboy, and Octavius, the Roman general. Both were already lovers when you came around.

• Jedidiah and Octavius wanted to try their hand at raising kids together. But because of their plight of being tiny models, they'd given up on it. Your arrival was a dream come true. You three quickly had a found family dynamic, and sure enough they took you in as their daughter. You are perfect in their eyes in every way, an answer to all their prayers.

• They'd be your gay dads, with Teddy as a grandfather, Ahkmenrah an older brother, Sacagawea a mother figure, Attila the cool uncle, and all the others your friends. Soon, you found your place amongst the others.

• Both have their own pet names for you. Jedidiah calls you little lady, missy, and pumpkin. Octavius calls you mea columba ( my dove in Latin, since I have two years of it under my belt ), darling, and my princess. You call them by their actual names, or 'daddy' for Jed and 'father' for Octavius.

• I like to think they'd put emphasis on immersing you in their respective cultures. Giving you the best of both worlds, the Wild West and the Roman Empire.

• Jedidiah would show you all the classic cowboy staples— gunfights, rodeo, catching robbers, and playing songs by the campfire. You love it when he dazzles you with stories of outlaws, broncos, and especially cowgirls.

• Octavius would let you watch his army train, teaching you military strategy; not only that, but also attending senate meetings, participating in banquets, and telling you Roman myths and legends. If you gave your best shot at any of it, they'd be so proud of you. Just having your interest is reward enough, but if you actually did it yourself? They might just die of happiness right on the spot.

• Your dads love to hear about anything and everything that you're passionate about too! Please talk to them about whatever makes you excited, and they'll be as enthusiastic as you. They make a point to be interested since you try so hard for them.

• I get the vibe that Jedtavius are more free range parents in the sense that you're allowed to go anywhere in the museum you like. Outside is off limits, of course, which you understand. However, they are old fashioned. Not to the point of chaperoning, but cautious regardless. Jedidiah and Octavius are believers in women being treated with the utmost respect, they're very chivalrous. As such, they'll be on top of things to make sure you don't get hurt. With that said, they trust you to be responsible in your own right. They're just protective, you're their sweet baby girl after all. And God forbid anyone dare to lay a finger on you the wrong way.

• When morning comes, its hard for you to return to your place. You feel empty, almost lost, knowing you'll be gawked at come daylight. By yourself without them there. Sometimes, this can bubble up into small episodes. You'll feel resentful, crying bitter tears at times or just angry on others. Jedidiah and Octavius wouldn't leave your side until you were calm, both comforting you without a hint of judgment.

• " Aw, pumpkin, don't cry. S'alright, yer Daddy ain't goin' nowhere. We'll be right back where ya found us, ya hear? " Jedidiah would coo to you.

• " No more tears, fear not. It will pass once again as it always does. Our brave girl, my little princess. " Octavius would add on, gentle as his husband.

• Every night, the minute you'd come to life, you'd run as fast as you could to the Diorama Room to be reunited with them. They're your haven, your home, your safety net. After long days of noisy crowds and superficial cares, you're revitalized in their presence. And Jedidiah and Octavius are delighted to see you again, the hole in their hearts filled when your face appears.

• On to happier things now. Jedtavius are always ready to shower you in affection. I feel Jedidiah is the gruff type, his love language being praise, affirmations, and encouragement over physical gestures. Octavius is the opposite, being very tactile. For him, it's offering you hugs, soft touches, and gentle kisses. It's really ironic considering these guys are warriors in their own ways. Two macho men who are such softies for you.

• If you don't like physical contact, though, they respect that boundary completely. They're both so loving and supportive that you never have to worry about feeling neglected.

• The size difference poses an issue. You three have learned to work around it through trial and error. They may be small, but they have big hearts and an endless amount of love to give. You're definitely their soft spots, one could say weaknesses, but they have no shame over it. Not when it's you.

• I can imagine them being saddened by your insecurities, not able to understand why you don't see how special you are. It's not disappointment at you, rather pity for you. And they're quick to reassure you, genuine in every possible sense of the word.

• " Why's our precious lil' Y/N so down in the dumps? Ya know I hate seein' a frown on that dad gum pretty face of yers. Talk to us, why're ya beatin' up on yerself so hard? " Jedidiah would say, sitting you down in front of his diorama. At your shoulder level, he'd stand next to you, putting a tiny hand on your cheek.

• And you'd tell them everything on your mind. All the things bothering you. Neither of them would interrupt you once, letting you speak. Nor would they try to discount any of your feelings. But it does pain them to see you so sad.

• " We would not lie to you, daughter. When I say you are fairer than Venus, cleverer than Minerva, and braver than Diana, I mean it. For you are beautiful, you are intelligent, and you are strong. Most of all, you are you, as you are meant to be. " Octavius would tell you, his dark eyes adoring. His lips would touch your hand as if to further make his point.

• " And yer our girl no matter what. Yer daddy and yer father love ya, missy, even when ya go gettin' yerself into trouble. We wouldn't want nobody else as our daughter, yer all we could ever ask for. " Jedidiah would grin, patting you on your shoulder.

• Okay, now onto the stuff relatively separate from Jedtavius. In your free time when you're not hanging out with your dads, you get into plenty of mischief on your own with your fellow museum residents.

• Playing with Dexter and Rex in the Hall of African Mammals, surrounded by the jungle setting. The lions, elephant, gazelles, ostrich, and zebras don't mind you for some reason, and they're quite tame around you. You like to climb the display trees, cuddling with the snakes or swinging around with the monkeys. And playing fetch with Rex in the front lobby is always fun too.

• Teddy would take you on hunts, throwing you on the back of his horse. If you really wanted to, he'd even teach you to ride. Jedidiah was enormously proud when you showed up in the Diorama Room like an equestrian show rider.

• Sacagawea and you communicate through sign language. She likes to tell you many stories of her travels with Lewis and Clark, as well as legends from her own culture. You intently listen to each one, always raptured by the brilliant way she breathes life into the old tales.

• One time you tried to help the Neanderthals light their fire. It wasn't successful, but they welcomed you as a member of their family. You don't understand most of what they say, though you're always kind to them.

• Attila would teach you swordfighting, passing down all his wisdom as a master warrior. You two love to spar, often quite viciously to the point that Larry Daley has to tell you two to knock it off before you lop off each other's heads. Both you and Attila would be fascinated by magic tricks too, eager for Larry to show you a new one every shift he takes.

• Before he released Ahkmenrah from his sarcophagus prison, you made an effort to visit the pharaoh so he wasn't lonely. You two chatted well into the night about whatever came to mind; but you had a penchant for stories of his past in Ancient Egypt. You two have a platonic relationship characterized by him being wiser, more experienced, and far more worldly than you, your big brother who you've got wrapped around your finger.

• You also like to hang out in the other exhibits too. Watching the blue whale float idly in the Marine Room, singing its beautiful songs and you doing the same for it. You've danced to many a sea shanty with the model pirates, the favorite of Captain Blackbeard. The Kushite kings, Babylonian priests, Celtic bards, noble samurai, and Viking chieftains also enjoy your company, fascinated by your wits and amicable nature.

• I headcanon that the models can hear and see their surroundings during the day, they just can't interact with them in their frozen states. You've seen thousands of faces before in all your years in the museum, but the one you always like to see is that of Dr. McPhee, the curator. He's fussy, arrogant, and pompous from what you've heard, but you couldn't help your crush on him. You wished to get to know him more. For him to see you.

• Overall, life is fantastic for you in the museum. You've got Jedidiah and Octavius, all your friends, and a great big world in one small place to call your own.

Well, that's all I've got for right now! I hope I've done this justice. It was such a cool idea, and I couldn't resist dropping everything to jot down my thoughts on it. Once again, I am planning two other parts so as to be more inclusive to my fellow menfolk and out of the binary peeps! If you want to be included in a tag list for anything Night At The Museum or my other content, please drop a comment, and I'll add you from now on! Please have a fantastic rest of your week, and thank you SO much for all your likes, reblogs, comments, and interactions. It means the world to me!

[optimisticsaladalpaca]

What the fuck. Like, seriously. What in the fuck was this post back in April. Who in their right mind actually sat their ass down to go on a whole rant about how an indie animation is a clone of another show that came out after the first? You can tell that this person was born with an ability. And that ability is stupidity.

Ok, so let's recap on this major 'what the fuck' post. I'm just going to point out things that makes absolutely no sense.

Do you know how many shooting games tend use firearms as one of the weapons when you first play it? Do you not know that firearms existed waaaaaay before Helluva Boss was getting developed? Because I guarantee you, Helluva Boss was not the only one that referenced about firearms at all. There's no originality. It's just straight up inspiration. Who cares if Lackadaisy is using similar weapons! You're acting like Helluva Boss owns that shit, dawg.

So actors can't voice another character after the previous one? Wow! Didn't think that was a rule now. My fucking god bloody hell... Michael Dietz who voiced Vee from The Owl House was the same lady who voiced Amethyst from Steven Universe for gods sake. Why is Michael Kovach voicing Rocky a bad thing? All because he used to be Angel Dust? Be glad that he's actually voicing a character that doesn't constantly swear and bring up corny middle school sex jokes that take up almost half of the pilot.

...This right here was one of the most stupidest takes I've ever seen in media and it will forever stay in my memory. Because what. The actual. Fuck. MOXXIE AIN'T THE ONLY ONE THAT WEARS A BOWTIE, BRO!

SO MANY SHOWS AND MOVIES ALWAYS GOT THAT ONE FANCY PERSON THAT NEEDS A BOWTIE, ESPECIALLY GIRLS. THERE'S NO ORIGINALITY. ANY CHARACTER CAN WEAR A BOWTIE...HOW IS THAT COPYING? THAT'S LIKE SAYING A CERTAIN CAR IS A COPY OF YOURS BECAUSE IT'S THE SAME COLOR LIKE...HUH? WHY WOULD YOU JUDGE FRENKLE BASED ON CLOTHING? WHO DOES THAT??? DOES THE OP HAVE BRAIN DAMAGE? HAVE THEY SEEN DONALD DUCK? BECAUSE HE WEARS A BOWTIE TOO... WHAT ABOUT MUSICIANS? BUTLERS? BUSINESS WORKERS? THEY ALL WEAR A BOW TIES...

Lackadaisy has been worked on since 2006 and it has wonderful world building with enjoyable characters that you can actually love. It's also refreshing because it doesn't have unnecessary sex jokes or swearing just to prove that it's "mature." And it actually has funny humor. Lackadaisy is it's own thing and I love the concept of it being in St Louis and that it takes place in the 1920s. Not to mention, it took the Lackadaisy crew four years to work on the animation pilot. Fucking 4 and it hasn't changed it's story since it was first created years ago. It had it's own ideas and interesting plot, while Helluva Boss/Hazbin Hotel have been getting worked on AFTER that! Plus, they aren't even comparable. They are completely different.

Lackadaisy is about cats that wanna shoot each other until their eyes stop activating. Helluva Boss and Hazbin Hotel take place in literal HELL. LACKADAISY TAKES PLACE ON EARTH 😬....

These Helluva Boss, Hazbin Hotel fans make me sick. Lackadaisy is better than both of these trashy shows and that's my own opinion. The fact that an actual great western pilot is getting compared to a horny demon show is beyond me.