#the only thing i really have going for me is my grades/gpa

[pyeonghongrie]

Anything You Could Do, I Could Do Better!

Summary: You and your academic rival do what academic rivals do, trying to one-up each other in grades. But the thing is, both of you are teachers.

Characters/Pairing(s): Hongjoong X Reader

Genre: humor

AUs/Trope info: Reverse Academic Rivals,

Word Count: 500+

Warnings: none??????

Rating: 16+

A/N: for @cultofdionysusnet's reverse trope event! Thank you to @kwanisms for helping with this!!!

It’s a new school year, which means, it's a new opportunity to crush your rival, Kim Hongjoong, in a battle of wits. 

You see, that would’ve been much more appropriate if both of you weren’t high school teachers. And if you both weren’t vicariously continuing this feud through which class could get a higher grade point average.

"My God, Hongjoong! You’re delusional if you think your class is going to get the higher GPA this quarter! It’s impossible,” you yell at him from across the faculty parking lot, your anger reaching a boiling point after he provoked you with yet another bet for this school year. “You suck at teaching and everyone knows it!”

“Oh, get over yourself,” he yells back, slamming the door of his car shut. “You’re just salty that my students love my class while they drone over your miserable little classroom that feels more like a prison cell,” he continues, power-walking in your direction. “You won’t even let them bring snacks, you Karen!”

“Oh, please!” you retort, rolling your eyes. “The only reason they like you is because you let them slack off! And Besides,” you continue, narrowing your eyes as he draws closer. “My classroom has these fuck ass linoleum floors that basically adheres food crumbs to it. I don’t want my room to have rats, especially if they look like you.”

He gasps, dramatically so, one hand over his gaped mouth and the other over his chest. “This has to constitute a hate crime, this is rodent discrimination. Everyone knows I’m a squirrel.”

You roll your eyes, “Save the ‘woe is me’ cries for someone who cares, Kim. I’ll see you after this quarter when my class destroys yours!”

Hongjoong’s class was, in fact, not destroyed by yours.

The final results came in and in fact, both your classes had the same GPA down to the decimal point.

Of course, from that confrontation, the both of you stormed over to the guidance counselor, demanding a recount, or at least a reason for this “impossible” tie.

“This is ridiculous!” You said, slapping the flimsy piece of paper over her desk, “There is no way that this guy’s class got the same GPA as mine!”

Hongjoong scoffs, “You act like we weren’t in the same education classes in college. You’re no better off than I am.”

“Well,” The counselor started, “Both of you were being really annoying about this feud, it was funny at first, but both of you need to get over this. You’re adults, not only that, you’re responsible for the education of the future professionals of this country. I’d expect both of you to prioritize the students’ education over this silly competition.”

The counselor clears her throat, “Enough,” she said as she stood up from her chair, “There is no mistake in the transcripts. Both of your classes scored the exact same, down to the decimal.”

Both of you look at each other. “But, how is that possible?” Hongjoong asked, just as confused as you were.

Both of you lower your head in shame.

“Now, this feud ends today. No more trying to live your rivalry through these kids.” She sits down again, waving both of you off.

You stand in front of the door to the driver’s side of your car, as did Hongjoong. With a silent agreement to end this rivalry, and call for peace.

Which only lasted until the next school year, much to the chagrin of everyone else.

[tiredeyes1975]

three-ish months left of my junior year in high school. honestly just going where life takes mei 

[meangirls-imagines]

Rest and Relaxation

"who's that?"

"that is the queen bee regina george. do not look her in the eye. she can smell fear."

cady rolled her eyes at damian giggling. in the small amount of time that she had known him, he had been very dramatic. janis also rolled her eyes. "she can't smell fear. but he is right, don't look her in the eyes." cady watched as the blonde girl walked up to her table holding cheese fries, sitting next to the girl that damian said "has hair full of secrets".

there was a thud as the trio turned spotting a girl struggling to carry her backpack, books, and lunch. the girl looked over at the trio, noticing janis and damian and shyly waved. they all waved back and watched as she stumbled past them.

"who's that?" damian shook his head. "that's y/n, regina's girlfriend." cady looked at the two shocked. she didn't think regina was gay. "really? she's so...shy." janis nodded as they watched y/n finally make it to the plastics table. regina's face lit up at the sight of her girlfriend. y/n smiled back and sat next to the blonde, unloading everything on the table. regina pulled y/n into a kiss, making the girl blush.

"hi baby. how is your day going?" y/n blushed deeper at the petname. "its going fine gina. i just have a lot of work to do." y/n was a nerd in the best sense. she had the highest gpa of the whole school, she was a mathlete, and she was in all advanced classes. she also had a really bad habit of overworking herself. regina hated watching her girlfriend burn out so she did her best to step in before it got bad.

"how about you come to my house with us after school? we can do a spa day for you. get you to relax a little. i know how stressed you've been." y/n's heart melted at her girlfriend's worry. as much as she wanted to do that, she had a mathletes meeting after school followed by sat prep until late at night.

y/n shook her head. "i wish i could gina, but i have mathletes until 4 and then sat prep until 8 and then i still have to finish my essay." regina sighed, scooting closer and scratching y/n's back to get her to relax a little. their moment was ruined when y/n's brother shane walked up to them. "ladies, nice to see you guys today. y/n, chris was wondering if you could possibly look over his history paper and see if its good enough for at least a b minus."

regina was about to speak up when y/n beat her to it. "yeah, just give it to me before i go to mathletes and tell him i'll have it back to him by tomorrow morning." shane smiled and ruffled his sister's hair, placing a brief kiss on her head. "thanks sis. i'll let him know." y/n smiled as her brother walked away. regina looked at her girlfriend worriedly. y/n shook her head. "it's fine gina. i'll be okay."

the bell rang, dismissing lunch as y/n stuffed all of her things in her backpack, kissing regina and heading off to her next class. gretchen watched regina deflate as y/n walked away. she put a hand on her shoulder and smiled at her. "she'll be fine regina." the blonde sighed. "i hope you're right."

y/n sighed as she opened her locker the next morning. she didn't get home until late last night and woke up earlier than usual to go with shane to football practice to give chris his essay and finish up any homework she missed the night before. she was exhausted and just wanted to go home. unfortunately for her, the world doesn't work like that and it was only going to get much worse.

for backstory, regina and y/n had been friends since 4th grade. regina had been very protective over the girl since they first met all those years ago. they met when regina stepped in and stopped a few boys from shoving y/n around. and since then, nothing had changed. regina was just as if not more protective over the girl. they had come out at the end of 8th grade which just boosted the protectiveness. ever since they came out as a couple, less people picked on y/n, though there were some who just didn't get the message.

enter ian. who had harbored a major crush on regina even after she came out. he was the stereotypical high school male. he was the captain of the basketball team, he was ripped, he was hot and every girl in north shore (except the plastics and y/n) wanted him. he felt like he was a better match for regina than y/n was and never failed to make his opinion shown every once in a while.

regina and the plastics hadn't made it to school yet and shane was in the locker room so this was his perfect opportunity. he and a couple of his friends walked up to y/n, who was reading over her ap chem homework and not paying attention. "hey there nerd. i see your guard dog isn't here." y/n rolled her eyes. "no ian, regina isn't here yet. can i help you with something?"

that was apparently the wrong thing to say as ian slapped the papers out of her hand and shoved her against a the locker next to her. at this point, people had started recording on their phones. y/n winced at the impact as the group of boys started laughing. "you don't get to have an attitude with me nerd. i think you forget where you fall on this food chain. allow me to remind you."

he brought his fist back to swing at y/n but the punch never came. the only thing y/n saw of her savior was pink nails before she was let go and ian was flying the other way. y/n looked up to see an angry regina flanked by an equally angry karen and gretchen. the two obviously weren't as close to y/n as regina was but they also had a protectiveness over her.

ian looked up scared as his friends fled the scene. karen and gretchen helped y/n pick her stuff up and dusted her off. ian shrunk in fear as regina towered over him. "i don't think you understand where you fall on this food chain, but allow me to remind YOU. you do not compare to y/n. she is so far above you that you don't even exist in her world. that being said, if i ever see you mess with her again, you will be finished."

he nodded and scrambled away. regina looked at the crowd that had formed. "anyone else have a problem with my girlfriend?" the crowd scattered as everyone went back to what they were doing. regina smirked victoriously before pulling y/n into an empty classroom, karen and gretchen standing guard outside.

regina looked over y/n for any injuries before y/n's grabbed her shaky hands and kissed both of them softly. "i'm okay, gina. just a little shaken up." regina let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding before pulling y/n into her arms. "i'm so sorry i wasn't there. i couldn't find my keys before we left so it put us behind-" y/n pressed her lips to regina's. the blonde instantly calmed as the two kissed, y/n being the first to pull away. "breathe babe. i'm okay. he's not going to mess with me again."

regina nodded and pulled y/n into another kiss, this one quicker than the last. "will you please come over after school today? i wanna take care of you. it's the weekend so you can stay the whole weekend while i help you relax. please." y/n nodded. "if it will make you feel better, yes." regina smiled and pecked y/n's lips. "good. i wasn't taking no for an answer. now, let me walk you to class?" y/n nodded and the two made their way out of the room.

regina stood against her jeep, waiting for y/n. karen and gretchen had hitched rides from shane so that way regina could take her girl straight home.the front doors to the school opened to reveal an exhausted looking y/n. regina's heart broke at the sight of the girl, she looked more exhausted than she did when the blonde saw her at lunch.

y/n shuffled to the jeep, regina grabbing her backpacks and throwing them in the backseat (carefully of course) before helping y/n into the passenger seat. regina walked around and got in, holding y/n's hand and kissing it. the girl sent her a sleepy smile and leaned her head against the window.

regina made it to her house in record time. she left the girl's bags in her car, making a mental note to ask her dad to grab them later. she helped y/n in the house and to her room, gently laying her on her huge bed. "stay right here baby. i'm gonna go run us a bath." y/n sleepily nodded, nuzzling into regina's pillow.

five minutes later, regina came out in a fluffy, pink robe, gently shaking y/n awake. "come on baby. let's get you in the bath." y/n stirred and nodded. the blonde helped her to her feet, gently pulling her into the bathroom. from there, she slowly took y/n's clothes off, head to toe. regina then got into the tub and guided y/n in, holding her to her chest.

the couple stayed in the bath for about half an hour before regina decided to get them out. luckily, y/n had been over to the blonde's house enough that she had her own little section in regina's massive closet. regina grabbed a hoodie and a pink pair of boxers for y/n and a hoodie for herself before getting them both dressed and into the bed.

y/n sunk into the soft mattress as regina gently maneuvered her to lay her head on her chest. y/n kissed regina's jaw and nuzzled into her neck. regina began scratching her nails down y/n's back. "take a nap and then when you wake up, i'll make you some dinner, and then maybe followed by dessert and a massage?"

y/n nodded before fully drifting off.

a few hours later, y/n woke up to the smell of her favorite pasta. she rubbed the sleep out of her eyes and stretched, getting out of bed and heading downstairs. she found regina cooking dinner with her "y/n❤️" playlist playing softly from her speaker. y/n smiled at how soft the queen bee looked before walking up and wrapping her arms around the blonde's waist.

regina smiled at the feel of her girlfriend snuggling into her back, turning the burner off and turning around. "hi baby. sleep good?" y/n nodded, pressing her lips to regina's. "what's for dinner?" regina smiled and pecked y/n's lips before explaining. "i made your favorite, cacio e pepe, some salad and garlic bread, and for dessert i made a lemon tiramisu. and after we are done eating, i am giving you a massage to get the stress of the week and especially today out of that sexy body of yours and we are going to cuddle up on my bed and watch some love is blind and you are going to sleep for more than five hours."

y/n smiled at her girlfriend, already feeling the stress of the week melt away. regina always took care of her when she needed it and she couldn't be more grateful to have her as her girlfriend. "god, i love you." regina blushed and kissed y/n's cheek. "i love you too. now, let's eat."

after they ate dinner and dessert, regina ordered y/n to take off her shirt and lay face down on the bed while she slipped in the bathroom. y/n did as told and winced a little before tossing the shirt off to the side and laying down. regina came out and lit a few candles before dropping the oil and bruise cream on the bed. she straddled y/n's lower back and gently ran her hands down the girl's back.

she leaned down and kissed y/n's shoulder gently. y/n sighed at the feel of the blonde's lips and whispered, "i love you gina." regina smiled, grabbing the bruise cream and started applying it to the newly forming bruises on y/n's back. "i love you too baby."

after a very, very, relaxing massage, y/n laid in between regina's legs as they watched "love is blind". regina had her fingers running through y/n's hair, scratching her scalp with her acrylics. y/n was drawing shapes on regina's stomach, the blonde girl shivering every once in a while. after a few episodes, regina asked y/n if she wanted anything to drink before realizing y/n was asleep. smiling, she carefully reached over to the nightstand to grab her phone, taking a picture of y/n.

she took to instagram to post the picture, smiling at the amount of cute comments their friends were leaving. she put her phone back and gently guided her and y/n into a more comfortable position. once comfy, she placed a gentle kiss on y/n's forehead, slowly drifting off.

[augiewrites]

"secret admirer" - dead poets society (part 5)

summary: y/n receives a curious invitation from meeks and has a surprise encounter with neil and todd

pairing: anonymous!dead poet x gender neutral reader

word count: 1.2k

previous | next

It was finally Friday, and Y/N was looking forward to spending the weekend recovering from a week of non-stop exams, cramming, and a nonexistent sleep schedule. The morning’s classes had been a drag so far, and they were looking forward to the reprieve of Keating’s class. Knowing they'd be in close proximity to their admirer aside, Keating’s class gave them an opportunity to activate another part of their brain—one concerned less with grades and formulas.

No, this part was more concerned with matters of feeling. Matters of love, art, expression—everything crucial to finding true meaning in life.

Meaning.

Something that Y/N’s life—and the students of Welton’s lives—was severely lacking.

Y/N shoved the existential crisis to the back of their mind, shooting Todd a smile as he occupied the desk at the front of the class.

Their desk compartment was empty aside from their textbook and notes. Y/N felt their heart drop. It had been empty for days.

Did I make a mistake leaving that poem?

Y/N did their best to not look disappointed. The only thing more embarrassing than their poet’s lack of response was the thought of him observing their discontent.

Keating’s class didn't give them much reprieve that day.

_________________________________________ 

Against their better judgment, Y/N found themselves in the library during common hour. In all truth, Y/N just wanted to go back to their dorm and bang their head against the wall until they fell asleep. Alas, the expectation of a 4.0 GPA was looming over their head.

Thankfully, Meeks was the only other person to show up. Y/N didn't think they had the strength to deal with Dalton.

“So are you just going to keep side eyeing me, or do you have something to say?” Y/N set down their pencil and turned to face Meeks.

“Y/N, you've sighed three times within the last minute,” Meeks quipped, "seems like you're the one with something to say."

“But I'm right, though. You have something you want to say."

“I'll share with the class if you will.”

The two stared at each other for a moment—Meeks' expression much lighter compared to Y/N’s frustrated features.

Y/N gave in first.

“I’m tired, Meeks."

“Of?..."

“Everything.”

“You’re going to have to give me a little more here, Y/N.”

“…”

"I'm waiting."

“My GPA dropped to a 3.7," Y/N’s gaze was fixed to the table, “my parents are not happy. I feel like all I ever do is try, but it's not enough, and it never will be. My social life is practically nonexistent, I don't remember the last time I had fun, and I can feel my spirit dying. Some days it feels like I'm dying."

“You’re more than your grades, Y/N. You have to know that."

“I know that, Meeks. They don't,” Y/N let out a bitter laugh, “they ship me off to this prison, don't let me come home for breaks, and they call me maybe twice a semester if I'm lucky. They see my grades more than they ever see me."

Meeks was silent for a beat as Y/N cradled their head in their hands.

“Tomorrow night. Meet me outside the East wing at 10PM.”

“Meeks, what are you—“

“Just trust me. If you care about your spirit, anyway."

“Fine,” Y/N began packing their bag and stood up, nodding absentmindedly, "yeah, okay."

Because everything was cosmically determined to go wrong, Y/N crashed into Charlie as they rounded the corner out of the library. Their armload of textbooks crashed to the floor.

“Don’t you know to look both ways before crossing the street?" Charlie joked as he knelt to pick up Y/N’s books.

Y/N kept their head down as they gathered the mess of note paper that exploded out of their trig book.

“I mean, really, Y/N. If you want to feel me up you don't need to be so aggressive about it—“

Charlie’s sly smile melted into concern when he noticed the tears in Y/N’s eyes.

"Hey, are you okay, Y/N?” Charlie passed the books to Y/N and placed a gentle hand on their upper am.

Y/N gave the boy a tight lipped smile and stepped away from his touch.

“I'm fine, Dalton," Y/N was already moving down the hall.

“Y/N—“

“If you're looking for Meeks, he's still in there."

Y/N disappeared around the corner, leaving Charlie staring at the space they just occupied.

_________________________________________

Y/N wasn’t one for skipping class, but it was the last period of the day and Y/N thought their head would explode if they didn’t get away from everyone as soon as possible.

They triple checked that the hallway was empty before rushing into the storage room filled with students’ empty luggage.

But the room wasn’t unoccupied like they expected.

Neil Perry and Todd Anderson were in the middle of the room, locked in a gentle embrace.

They jumped apart when they heard Y/N’s soft sound of surprise, and the trio looked at each other in shock for a beat.

“We were just—” Neil took a step away from Todd before the other boy cut him off, surprising everyone, seemingly including himself.

“We’re together.”

They all stared at each other for another moment before Neil stepped forward again.

“You can’t tell anyone, Y/N.”

“I won’t,” Y/N blinked, suddenly coming alive again, “I would never.”

Relief washed over the two boys. Todd was more red than Y/N thought was humanly possible.

“Okay, I’m just gonna,” Y/N took a step back and jerked a thumb over their shoulder at the door, “go…”

They turned quickly to leave.

“Y/N.” Neil’s hand enclosed their wrist as they reached for the doorknob.

They looked up into Neil’s soft gaze, a faint smile on his face, “thank you.”

“Of course,” they returned the smile and waved to Todd as they slipped out the door, rushing to their dorm to avoid being caught for truancy.

_________________________________________

Y/N had been laying in bed for all of fifteen minutes before they heard the familiar sound of paper sliding under the door.

They were out of bed and rushing to open the door before they could think twice. Truancy be damned.

The empty hallway mocked Y/N.

Frustrated tears welled in their eyes as they slammed the door and grabbed the envelope off the floor before ripping it open.

Beloved Y/N,

In your eyes, a storm silently brews, Emotional tempest, tears it strews. I stand close, a silent observer, Love entangled in your pain, a fervent preserver.

Your hurt, a whisper in the quiet air, A shared burden, a weight to bear. In the shadows, love stands strong, A balm for wounds, a solace lifelong.

In the heart's tempest, emotions entwine, Love persists, a steadfast lifeline. I may not heal all that pains your soul, But together, in love, we find a way to be whole.

x, Yours.

Y/N let the tears flow freely as they sunk down onto the bed.

They were certain of who wasn’t their poet, but they were in denial about who it could be.

~~~

part six

a/n: any reality where neil and todd aren't in love is a crime against nature

taglist: @vvnbxz @edb954

[cinnamonest]

Head empty no thoughts just daydreaming about incel scara with groupmate/project member!reader

Imagine them sitting together in a library. They need to be close to share one screen and go over everything while one or the other does some explaining. And scara is just DISGUSTED by her very clearly, very obviously whorish behavior aka her casually jutting her chest, pouting/biting her lips, getting close to him when she needs to lean, when she bends over away from or next to him, he can see her cleavage if he tries hard enough, or see her skirt ride or her lower back getting exposed and if he moves juuuuust a bit closer he can touch her boobs-

Just outright disgraceful and shameless behavior typical of the female 😤 and no, that's not his boner wdym. And reader is just earnestly trying to understand what he's trying to say because he seems so indifferent and almost looks as if dislikes her.

Ahhh it must be because he's annoyed, this isn't her subject after all. In which case, ALTERNATIVELY- consider CS major scara with darling in some non-STEM field passively calling her dumb and insulting her intelligence whenever they come to "study" because: what? She doesn't know how to install Windows? Ha

Only reason she has a decent gpa is because you don't actually need brains or talent for those art "subjects" and they are more suited to females anyway because it's not like they contribute much to society or are very intelligent, unlike him-

I remember my university had these little rooms in their library that were basically tiny study rooms with a couch and chairs, but like no windows, and were advertised as two-way soundproof to help you study and let me tell you. Y’all. People had sex in those. A lot. It happened a lot.

But the thing is they had no tables with desk-type chairs, only like coffee tables and lounge chairs, so if you wanted to work with someone else on something you kinda had to use the sofa which could be very awkward. Anyway

Oh he's absolutely a STEM snob that looks down on humanities majors. They’re for people with no real skills, who lack the ability to do more important stuff… or God forbid, you're a fine arts major of some kind. Very typical girl stuff, they waste money on useless degrees because they insist on having equally useless jobs. You’re probably going to be a future HR person, getting random guys fired for harmless comments and such.

So he always talks to you in such a condescending way, as if the things he’s explaining are so very obvious or simple that it’s a chore to explain it to you. You need to be aware of how intellectually inferior you are.

Also he’s one of those boys for whom “disgusted” is really just turned on, he lacks the ability to distinguish it — like it’s arousing, but it’s irritating that it’s arousing because he can’t do anything about it, so he identifies that feeling as disgust when it’s really just unbearable levels of sexual frustration compounded with bitterness. Ugh.

And as for you, it has to be intentional. You know what you're doing. It's on purpose. You just think it's funny or amusing to torment someone who can't do anything about it. In a fair world, you'd pay for your actions somehow.

And maybe you're even getting good grades in exchange for "favors." That makes sense, it's the only way that explains how you remain enrolled really. Maybe you'll eventually do the same for him, try to get him to do work for you in exchange for something. Not that that would work, he would never ever enable you like that, and definitely has the self-control necessary to reject you.

There’s something so wrong with how things are, that this situation can even arise, that you’re allowed to waste so much money and time on your dumb degree when you have better uses. He’ll probably go home and make some long vent post to some niche corner of the internet about the woes of having to tolerate this situation. Tragic.

[a-new-romantic]

academic rivals ♡ (azriel x reader)

summary: you and azriel have been fighting for the spot of valedictorian for your whole lives. the day has finally come where you find out who it really is.

a/n: i wish i had an academic rival

you submitted your last final, to your professor who nodded in approval at the first page of answers.

as you turn away, a triumphant grin crosses your face as you eyes Azriel still in his seat finishing his exam. he glares at you as you stick your tongue out at him, leaving the classroom. another win in your book.

you headed to your locker and grabbed all the remaining stuff from the storage space. As you finished, you turned to walk towards the principal's office to ask them the question you've been asking your whole education. suddenly, you felt a rush of wind race past you.

"catch up, slow poke" azriel called out at you as he sped walk by you, ever the stickler for rules and refusing to run down the halls.

"whatever," you muttered as you rolled your eyes and slammed your locker shut, walking as fast as you could to the principal's office.

"morons," cassian muttered from his locker as you both passed him "why don't they just run?"

"beats me," rhysand replied, examining his nails with a knowing smile.

you run the last few feet to the principal's office, reaching there at the same time as azriel. you both pant, as the door opens up in front of you two - revealing the secretary.

"come in," she said with an air of boredom, having been through the same song and dance multiple times.

you both beeline the principles office, shoving at each other as you sit down in the chairs in front of his desk.

"hello you two," the principle said, looking away from his computer. "congratulations on completing all your finals!"

"yeah, yeah," azriel said, shoving at your shoulder, "tell us who it is."

"what? the principle asked in confusion.

"tell us who valedictorian is!" you explained, "it has to be me, right? i took more APs."

"no, it's me! I did more community college classes," Az countered back at you, glaring.

"it's neither of you." the principal said, interrupting your argument.

"what?" you said, both of you stopping in your tracks.

"i'm the valedictorian," you hear from behind you, and you both turn around in horror to see Rhysand leaning against the doorway.

"i have a higher GPA than the both of you. 4.9," he stated as he stalked towards the desk. "i'm here to pick up my sash."

the principal handed him the sash and he left with a wink.

"you two are free to go now," the principal said, turning back to his computer.

you both stand up wordlessly and leave the office, the secretary snickering at the two of your faces.

"oh my god," you said as soon as you got out of the office. you rubbed your face with your hands, groaning into them. "how could neither of us win? how did rhysand win?"

"i have no fucking clue," azriel said, mirroring your despair. "we're literally best friends, why wouldn't he tell me?"

after a few more minutes of wallowing, he looked at you.

"i guess we both don't win our bet," he said, sadly. suddenly, you eyes flases in remembrance.

"oh my god, our bet," you said, reminiscing on the deal you both had made after 8th grade promotion where you both had been names "best student". you had stated that if you got valedictorian, azriel would give you his car. if azriel had won, he would take you on a date.

"there goes my date, huh?" azriel said, looking into your eyes with a slightly remorseful feel. as you looked at him, you realized that the best thing about fighting for valedictorian was that you fighting with him.

it would not have been the same if it was anyone else fighting with you, you only enjoyed it as long as the competition was with him.

ignoring his question, you said "i'm gonna miss us," quietly.

"me too," he said, "the competition was nice. and you're pretty nie too," he said, giving you a one sided hug.

"hey," you said, returning the hug, "we have all summer. do you still want that date?" you said.

he looked at you with stars in his eyes, "i would like nothing more," as he linked his hand with yours. you squeezed his hand and he squeezed yours as you smiled up at him.

suddenly, you hear a shout behind you.

"azriel! y/n! i know neither of you were valedictorian, but the position of salutorian is open." the principal stated.

you both glanced at each other with wolfish grins as you nodded to hear the answer.

"congratulations y/n," he said as he handed you a sash. "prepare your speech for graduation by next week please."

you stare at the sash in your hands, proud of yourself (even if it wasn't valedictorian).

"YES!" you shout, and jump around the halls, gripping the sash in your hands.

"congrats beautiful," he muttered as stared at you celebrate with admiration. "i can't wait to hear that speech, i better be mentioned." he said. you grinned and pinched his arm, "of course," you stated as you both left the school ready for your endless summer romance to begin.

[jo-harrington]

Sunsets.

They were always better when you watched them with someone else.

You glanced down at the hands in your lap: yours and Sam's, twined together like your lives have been for the past 5 years. The best of friends from the moment her family moved into town. You couldn't remember a time when you existed without her.

She's chatting now, telling some story about her boyfriend's dunce behavior to cheer you up after Mark broke your heart. Douchebag. You don't really know how you got here of all places; how things seemed to go so right with him and then so terribly wrong.

Sam made a joke at both Patrick and Mark's expense. You laughed and the sound of it was unfamiliar and almost roared in your ear, like a hundred people were laughing.

Everyone always laughed at Sam's jokes. Everyone loved Sam. Everything always worked out for her, even in the most unlikely situations. She was just lucky like that.

You told her once, after she won the talent show at school, that it almost seemed like she was the star of The Samantha Show or something. She found it hilarious, apparently, but you had an inkling that her feelings were still hurt. This was real life, not TV. She didn't just win because she was some main character, she worked really hard on her dance routine.

You felt a little bad after that, never brought it up again. The dark little voice deep down inside you smothered for now.

Because yeah, she did work hard. You knew that. She was smart and talented and funny and caring and a great friend and neighbor and that's just how it was because...

Because...

Because she strived to be all of those thing.

Things you…really didn’t bother with.

Because you were…

You.

Average, squeaking by a three-point-something GPA, wannabe artist who could barely draw, never left town before even when there was that field trip to DC because you got the mumps. A little nervous, a little clumsy, a little romantic with your head in the clouds. You always had a crush but nothing ever really came of those crushes until Mark.

The only boy to ever like you back and then he broke your heart.

“I just want to disappear,” you muttered pathetically and let go of Sam’s hand to cover your eyes again.

"So do it!" Sam finally hopped to her feet in the way that only she could, raring for another passioned, motivational speech that she was known for. You really needed one of those and also loathed that she was about to give you one. "Disappear! Leave!”

This was not the speech you expected.

"Uh, what?" you let out a mixture of a scoff and a laugh, tears forgotten for now. "What do you mean leave? Hello, graduation in a few months. Prom? Then college. What happened to your big plan last week? One last summer in Port Geneva?"

"Forget one last summer," she waved her arms wildly. "This is your life! You're my best friend, I want you happy. Tell me the truth. Do you really even want to go to college? Wouldn't you rather pack up big blue and go on that adventure like you talked about in 8th grade?"

At your blank stare, Sam grabbed you by the shoulders and shook you.

"That's the whole reason we're friends in the first place don't you remember? The ice breaker?! Are you kidding?"

"I don't have a clue," you giggled as she jostled you around.

"Our entire friendship built on a lie. UGH. Ok. Mrs. Mills what-do-you-wanna-do-in-10-years activity? And everyone's was stupid. Tina wanted to be on the cover of Tiger Beat for the Girl Superstar issue. Patrick...gotta love him...but he wanted to be the starting quarterback for the Miami Dolphins. Mine was so dumb I don't even want to say it, great first impressions I made as the new kid.

"But you wanted to see the world! Pack your bags and board a train around the US. Paint the sunset at the Grand Canyon. See glaciers in Alaska! Hell, you even said you'd travel to Middle Earth if you could. And I thought you meant the equator!"

You both laughed and as she went on and on about things you apparently said 4 years ago and as the memory came back to you, your heart ached.

Yeah, you did say that stuff didn't you? You’d been such a silly, idealistic kid before you grew up and reality hit you time and time again.

"That was just kids stuff Sammie," you laughed dismissively. "I'm...I'm gonna take classes at State, and I'm gonna work at the furniture store and I'm gonna..."

"You're gonna pine over Mark Greckman over the rest of your life?" The hands were on her hips again. "No, ma'am, you...you're gonna go on your adventure and...oh my...you're gonna find a prince of some European kingdom or...or a handsome stranger in an Italian villa. Or both. Hoards of men fighting for your affection."

"Please stop," you stood up and grabbed her as she started waving her arms around and pantomiming kissing a tall stranger. "Stop it."

"Ok I'm done, I'm done," she promised. "I just don't want you to be crying over that idiot anymore. And we might be close to graduation but...I don't know...you can still change your mind."

"Hmm," you shrugged. "I dunno. If just sounds so…”

“Unlike you?”

“Yeah.”

"Just think about it," she urged you. "You and your Volkswagen Beetle…and the world...the whole universe if you want it! The possibilities are endless. I just feel like...1985...it's gonna be your year."

There was a spark of inspiration that grew inside of you, and in your heart, you knew she was right.

You pulled her into your arms, grateful to have your best friend.

"Port Geneva was filmed in front of a live studio audience."

Eddie hit the rewind button on the remote and watched the scene speed in reverse until it hit Sam’s big speech. He hit play and watched for a minute then paused, the blurry image of your giggling face frozen on his screen for the foreseeable future.

He sighed and leaned back on the couch to enjoy your company for a minute.

The living room was dark, only illuminated by the glow of the TV and the street lights outside shining through the windows. There was a stack of tapes on the coffee table, along with his abandoned homework. The pizza he ordered would be here soon but for now…it was just you and him.

“M’sorry Mark was an asshole,” he said aloud into the still room. “To be honest…I kind of warned you about him way back.”

You don’t say anything. You never do.

“I know, the heart wants what it wants.” He picked a piece of lint off of his jeans. “I just want to look out for you honey.”

You stay smiling on the screen, and he can imagine it got the slightest bit bigger when he said that.

“I know you try to look after me too. Guess that doesn’t stop either of us getting hurt right?” He chuckled and pat his hands on his lap.

This was pathetic, talking to a fictional character like they were really in the room with him.

You were just…you were everything. And you’d been there for him, a balm to his woes. You had been since he started watching Port Geneva way back when, but especially since everything went down last year.

With his dad and the house and…

There was a knock at the door and Eddie hit the eject button so he could put in the next tape in watch with dinner. It was gonna be a good episode, you tell Mark off and even punch him; he remembered it fondly.

Defending yourself. He was proud of his girl.

Eddie ate his dinner and watched his episodes, taped from when they originally aired. Wednesday nights at 9pm, right before the news. He did his homework and occasionally repeated the rewind-pause-play act that he had perfected over the years so he could make another joke or, just once, complain about his chemistry homework.

Life was hard. For everyone. But especially if your name was Eddie Munson. Still, he endured. He’d never been a stranger to fantasy and escapism, he had his books and his game and his movies but there was something so…comforting in the realism that was your show.

A small suburban town full of normals. All sorts of mundane activities that mostly everyone made feel were…life altering events. And a handful of misunderstood outcasts—like you and Scott and Bonnie—who played supporting characters to the stars. Stars that were, quite frankly, unrealistic and annoying.

Eddie felt that way sometimes though, like he was just some background character waiting for his chance at the spotlight. Who had been the main character in his story, huh? Ronnie? Yeah…he could see that, now that she was on her great college adventure.

But with her gone, what would come of his storyline? Did he just fade into the background again?

Eddie ejected the tape before the current episode finished and propped his feet on the coffee table as he flipped the channels to something else. He needed to focus on something else. He would come back to his tapes, to you, another night and he would wish that you were real once again. Knocking on his door, taking him on a grand adventure with you.

But for now he just needed to stew in his…sad secondary character thoughts.

You got your time in the spotlight, a 2-episode arc at the end of the season, and as much as he hoped that it would be his turn soon…to be the character everyone loved…the person everyone loved…he knew it might never happen for him.

Eddie the Freak. Eddie the outcast. Eddie the idiot.

He would even take a single scene dedicated to him at this point.

Was that too much to ask?

Coming in 2024.

Find the Masterlist here. And the original blurb here.

[givemeasinglekidney]

Attention| Kuroo T.

time for some hurt/comfort as requested by my friend.

Pronouns are female but if wanted I can make a gender-neutral version!

TW: Swearing, Yelling, and creepy dude

Synopsis: Your both stressed about exams, he lashes out, you walk home and encounter someone.

Words: 1870

It was the middle of finals week, every student's most hated favorite week the education system has to bring. For 3rd years, this could finalize GPAs and getting into a certain college, so everyone’s up to their neck with studies, including you and your boyfriend, Kuroo Tetsurou.

You hadn’t been able to see him in weeks outside of school because of how busy you’d both been. He had volleyball practice and you had your own club activities to attend on top of your academics. You had decided that you wanted to see him finally. You were nothing but stressed out and anxious, and seeing Kuroo would bring you some peace and tie you back down to earth to feel loved.

You texted him about wanting to see him and you both set up a study date at his house. You packed your bag full of study material and headed over. He lived a while away walking but you didn't mind. A little exercise doesn’t hurt, right?

After a small journey and a snack, you knocked on his door and waited until he let you in.

As he opened the door, all he gave was a small “Hey.” and he turned back to go to his room. You expected a little more but let it slide since he might’ve been in the middle of a paper and had his mind focused on it. You followed him to his room and sat across from him at the table in the middle.

He immediately went back to typing on his computer, occasionally writing things down in his notebook. You went ahead and took out some stationery like pencils, pens, highlighters, and sticky notes along with your notebook, laptop, and pocky.

After an hour he had said about two words to you. You had asked a few questions about the material in your study guide and he’d only respond with “mhm,” or “I dunno.”. Now you started to get slightly irritated. You understand that he’s focused and very responsible about his grades, but he can spare a few seconds to answer your question, right?

You were a good ten minutes into your chemistry packet and were lost. Maybe taking AP chemistry wasn’t the smartest choice you ever made. You got by, but you tended to struggle.

“Hey, Tetsu,” You spoke up, “Can you help me out with this? I'm confused about the whole Singular, Double replacement along with Combustion and then balancing it.”

Silence.

“Tetsu.”

“Mhm…”

“Tetsurou are you even listening to me?”

…

“Tetsurou!”

“WHAT?” He yelled “What could you possibly want? Can’t you see I'm busy? You can literally look it up yourself, why ask me when I’m clearly in the middle of something!”

You felt yourself shrink into a ball. You just looked down at your paper and went silent. He didn’t even bat an eye, going straight back to what he was doing previously.

“Listen,” he didn’t look up from his laptop,” If you’re looking for attention, this isn’t the place.”

It was then your heart dropped. Maybe, you were annoying. Maybe you were just looking for attention. Were you really that lonely that there was no one else to hang out with? At these times? Maybe he was just stressed. Maybe you were stressed. Maybe he didn’t mean it.

But maybe doesn’t mean anything.

After a good few minutes of contemplating, you grabbed your things and packed up your bag. You gave him one last look and he never looked up. You left his room, followed by his house entirely.

By now, it had gotten dark. Not dark like ten-at-night-dark but dark enough that the street lamps had come on. You walked back in silence. Your headphones had died at his house since you had forgotten to charge them beforehand. Now you were stuck with your thoughts. How delightful.

You put your focus on your feet, trying to keep your mind off what had just occurred only a few minutes ago. It’d be at least twenty minutes before you’d get home. Having walked for a good ten, the sky only got darker.

The neighborhood was quiet and lonely. The kids had gone back inside from their outside activities which left the streets feeling like a ghost town. But that didn’t last for long. Like everything in life, something comes along to, in an optimistic way to put it, spice things up.

Thud thud thud

What was that?

Thud thud thud

Was it just your feet?

Thud thud thud

No, it was out of sync with your pace. You felt eyes on the back of your head.

Thud thud thud

They were becoming louder.

Thud thud thud

You tried increasing your walking speed, hoping to make it home faster, as you were paranoid to look back.

Thud thud thud

Faster and closer the steps became.

You felt a hand. A strong hand on your wrist.

You panicked, you couldn’t scream for help.

“Excuse me,” They started, “You dropped this.”

Your wallet. You dropped your wallet and this nice guy just wanted to give it back. Bruh

“Oh, thank you! I had no idea!” You mentioned. Welp, there was nothing to worry about, you’re just paranoid.

“It’s no problem.” He replied. You got a good look at him. Tall, with a slight build to him. He was dressed in a hoodie and blue jeans. Just some guy. Some dude. Yup, definitely one of the dudes ever.

“Well, I need to be going, thank you!” You perked and turned around to walk away.

‘Hold on a sec.”

Fucking damn it-

“A pretty lady like you shouldn’t be walking alone this late at night.” He said, “Im heading over to eat with some friends, why don’t you join me?”

“I'm good, thank you.” You said, slightly startled. “As I said, I have to get going.”

He grabbed your arm, “Oh come on. Have some fun… You know, my friends would love to be around such a pretty girl like you.”

Oh hell nah-

“Hey, what the fuck is wrong with you? I’m not going-”

“Oh don’t be such a bitch!” He yelled, keeping his grip on you as you struggle out of it, “You’ll have everyone’s attention. All eyes on you. A lady like you would love that, wouldn’t you?”

Attention.

All eyes on you.

“Hey!” You hear a voice in the distance. “Get your hands off her!”

Kuroo…

“Hey man, chill, we’re just talking, isn’t that right sweetheart?” He looked at you with threatening eyes. Disgusting. You couldn’t say anything. Fear and anxiety had swept you away and you could only comply with the silence. “We were just about to head over and grab a bite.”

“Yeah right. That’s bullshit if I’ve ever heard it.” Kuroo spat back.

“Watch your fucking mouth, dude.” the creep answered, his arm wrapped over your shoulder. “Our status is none of your goddamn business.”

Kuroo looked around franticly, but just with his eyes.

Your wallet.

In shock and fear, you had dropped your wallet.

The creep ended up seeing it but had been too slow to pick it up before your love had.

“What’s her name?” Your boyfriend questioned, looking like he was ready to deck the dude. “If you know her so well what's her fucking name?” He held up your wallet. You didn’t have your license yet so there was no form of actual identification on there. But the dude didn’t have to know that.

He stared at your boyfriend, standing his guard. He relaxed a little and spoke up. “Listen, dude, you got me. But hey, I just wanna take her out. You get it right?” he gave a half-assed smile hoping to convince the rooster head in front of him to let him off the hook.

“No way in hell” He spoke with slight venom, “‘Cause that ‘girl’ you got wrapped around your arm is my girlfriend.”

He froze. Caught in a lie.

He pushed you behind him and stepped forward.

“Yeah right. Look who’s spewing bullshit now.” He got all tough, hoping to scare your boyfriend away, but that didn't really work.

Cause he decked him.

Yup, you read that right.

He fucking decked him.

Welp-

“What the hell dude!-” He tried to get a word in Kuro had already grabbed your arm and made a run for it.

After turning a few corners, he finally stopped. He was slightly out of breath while you were breathing heavily. He turned to you and grabbed your shoulders.

“Hey,” He breathed, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah…” You painted, avoiding eye contact,” I’m good… I’m alright.”

“Hey, look at me.” He cupped your chin. There was an ever so slight plea in his voice you could just barely recognize.

“Please…” You looked at him, finally. His eyes filled with worry, “Did he hurt you?”

“...No, no I’m okay. I lived.” You answered, regaining your breath.

He let out a breath and looked down.

“Holy shit… I was so worried.”

“Yeah… I bet you were,” You said, feeling slightly guilty. “Sorry.”

“No no no no,” He shut you up and looked back at you, “You have nothing to apologize for, I’m an ass, okay. If anything I’m the one who’s sorry. I’m so stressed right now but you are too. I know you needed this and I ruined it for you. I'm so, so sorry.” He apologized, genuinely.

“And that,” He mentioned “That guy was in no way your fault. Never is, never will be. You’re just so pretty, and I’m so lucky to be the one who gets you.”

Your eyes water a bit. You go in for a hug and he wraps his arms back around you, bringing you a sense of safety and security.

“I love you, I promise. Right now just isn’t my best moment to see you.” He started, “ But after finals are over with, I promise I’ll make all the time in the world for you. You deserve my attention.”

You stood there. You didn’t know what to say.

“Thank you.” You mustered up.

He walked you back to your house, the whole twenty minutes, never letting go of your hand. He stopped at your front door and looked at you. He leaned in and met your lips. You two stayed like that for a bit, just taking in each other's presence. When you broke it off to head inside, you saw how he looked at you with such admiration.

Such love.

Then you knew, he truly did love you.

[angelnbm]

nah because yuji form sukuna and megumi form sukuna are twins and i refuse to take criticism for this

college athletes sukuna forms!megumi & yuuji x nerdy reader DISCLAIMERS : whole lot of cursing, suggestive scenarios & flirting.

"You just had to give me that pass, Aniki. These amateurs don't know what they're fucking doing."

Yuuji had a loose tongue after a bad game, one that could never keep the two out of trouble with their coach. Despite the talent he has, the boy was always whining to his twim brother about every little detail of each quarter in the lockerooms.

"Watch your mouth."

Megumi would hiss at him, hands pushing his borther away from his personal space. It was agitating him how much the duo kept getting into discourse over the smallest of things.

"Coach told us to distribute the ball - to pass the ball to everyone else, it's not my fault that they don't know what they're doing. Now fix that fuckin' attitude."

With all the head butting and cursing they'd throw at each other, they'd watch each other's backs and take care of one another. Yuuji was starting to let his GPA go lower each month and Megumi was ready to kick his head in for acting so arrogant and cocky thinking that he'd stay on the team with the grades he was getting but instead he reaches out to you.

The tutor from the History Deparment.

You were the only one who really knew what the professors expected from students. You were observant, attentive, very meticulous with your work which is why you were tutoring other students after hours and get paid for it.

You became their saving grace. Once he had your number, he didn't hesitate to call and explain the situation.

"He's arrogant and incompetent but please, you are my last -"

"Don't finish that sentence, just bring him to the south dorms. We'll meet in the common area, yeah? Be sure that he at least brings a pencil."

You've heard of the twins once before from the students you've met through tutoring them, not that you've actually seen them before - till that night you all met.

You sat down as the two walked over, their stpes would slow down halfway, as your hands organize your books on the table you caught both of them staring at you for a good minute "I don't have all night for this." You'd whisper to yourself, turning your head over to the duo.

Both were broad and taller than most, considering the sport they played, you expected nothing less. As your eyes met with theirs, they cleared their throats and walking a lot faster toward the table.

Once seated, Megumi, the one you spoke to and looked the most put together shoved his younger brother's head down to follow his own to both introduce themselves and apologize "We're sorry-"

"No we're not."

The youngest would interrupt him, swatting away Megumi's hand "You're single, right? I've seen you around, you're just my type."

You could only look at the two and chuckle at his attempt at flirting but it didn't hurt to follow his little game and so "You have a test and a project coming up, don't you? Let's start there."

Yuuji's smile got bigger and throughout the three hours of making him understand the material it never faded, not once. All the while Megumi kept sparing you some glances as he did his own project, you could see his notes from where you were seated.

They were neat and his handwriting was so much more cohesive than his brother's but Yuuji had his own charm. Being so forward and not afraid to express himself wasn't something you could ignore.

The common room had emptied itself out before you could notice and all three of you had an empty stomach, the grumbling coming from each was enough proof.

"Now that we made some progress, can we pay your services with some dinner? You down for ramen?" Megumi suggested, leaning towards you just a tad before he stood up to take a big stretch.

"Only if you're buying, I gave out my allowance yesterday.." Yuuji pouts, leaning back towards his seat, Megumi flicking his forehead accordingly.

"Idiot.."

Your eyes were stuck on them while your hands closed the books just to have them organized. You couldn't look away - similar tattoos, the slight difference in hairstyle, their demeanor - each little detail of the two had you stuck like a magnet and ultimately you agreed to dinner.

A couple of weeks pass and rumors got to spread around campus suggesting that you were a slut, being seen with the twins for all this time made you their little sex slave but it's not something you paid much attention to since it had happened before.

"What the fuck is this?"

Megumi would be the first to find out about the rumor as the word slut and sex slave were written in black and red on your dorm door, visibly angry at the stupidities one would go to to sabotage someone he's considered special.

"Ah, don't worry about it, it's nothing." You shrug it off while unlocking the vandalized door, he'd stop you mid way leaning against the frame while turning you to face him.

"To me it's not."

He was close, your hand would lay down on his chest to see if it calmed him down like it did Yuuji but to not avail "Megs.. I'll report it to the RA and call it a day, yeah?" You'd tell him softly, your heart beating a lot faster than normal. He'd get closer, whispering "That's not enough.." his free hand wrapping itself around your waist to bring you even closer to him.

"Aniki.."

Megumi would pull away from you to reveal Yuuji standing in the middle of the halway, making your eyes widen "Yuuji.. This isn't.." You stammered, pushing the eldest away “This isn’t what I think it is, right? Is that what she’s trying to say, Aniki?” Megumi looks over at his brother, scoffing lightly.

"And if it is? What the fuck are you gonna do about it?"

[ellesthots]

Fateful Beginnings

XXI. “belonging”

parts: previous / next

plot: somehow, you always find your way back home. Batman gets an intriguing lead on John Doe.

pairing: battinson!bruce wayne x fem!reader

cw: 18+, dead body, cancer, confrontation, depression

words: 3.2k

Tears studded your cheeks as you vented to Mar about the morning's happenings. She'd never liked Dr. Vry, and at some point the conversation had exploded into a rant about the subpar character of the woman. "Remember when she accidentally input my A as a C and told me 'fate' must have guided her grade input? Then didn't fucking change it because of fucking, written in the stars bullshit? Fucking tanked my GPA."

"I just don't get it. The email said nothing about him, she said nothing about reporting on him besides being excited he would be there." You collapsed flat on your back in a starfish pose. "It was like she expected me to be starstruck by him or something. Like that was the only course of action." Like everyone else seems to be. The world caters to flashy, superficial things.

"Fuck her! You don't need her!"

You stared at her blankly for a moment. "Except for my housing, my food, my plane tickets back home?"

"How much an hour is it? Like $15?"

"$43."

"Oh fuck, in this economy you should've said you'd suck his dick, too."

Maybe you were spending a little too much time with her. "I feel like alluding to me doing anything with that man should be a crime." You flopped back on your bed and checked the time--it was barely past noon. You hadn't even managed to be at the job until the afternoon... shame threatened to cocoon you faced with such obvious failure. At this point you remembered the check Dr. Vry had sent would arrive today, and a few minutes later you sat inputting the code you'd been mailed to your digital check.

You spent the next twenty minutes listening to Mar continue to rant while you ordered some groceries. By that point she'd gotten a text from one of her friends for their Friday night bar hangout and had dismissed herself, leaving you tethered to your house as you waited to stock your fridge. You watched out the window as she got into an Uber, and after she was gone for sure, and just as the check deposited, you called your mom. Moreso even than the likely imminent firing, the stress of her health threatened to spiral you off the deep end. She picked up on the third ring. She sounded tired.

"Hey, hun." She cleared her throat, then yawned. You heard a small buzzing sound in the background, then heard a small meow. Another night he spent purring and cuddling her. Thanks, Walter. God, you were so glad she had him. "Everything alright? The photos you sent of your apartment were really good, I showed them to Debbie and she couldn't believe it! 'In GOTHAM?' is what she told me!"

To tell or not to tell about the troubles this week held? She yawned again. Not the time. "You sound tired." Your grip tightened around the phone.

She sighed. "My doctors moved my appointment to six thirty in the morning, can you believe that?" She tsk-d.

"How'd the appointment go?"

"Oh just fine. I had to sign a bunch of paperwork and talk to practically everyone in the place." She sounded bored and vaguely annoyed, which she hadn't been before. Irritability a potential side effect?

"Did the shot hurt?" Small talk, but what else was there to discuss? Your likely firing?

"Nope." She began cooing to Walter, who became exponentially louder with his purr.

"How's your arm? Any side effects yet?" God, why did things feel so dry today? Did Gotham really create so much distance already between you and your family? Were you just anxious and overthinking? Was she annoyed?

"My my, they must have you busy with interviewing skills."

You opened your mouth to respond, but she questioned you instead. "When are you coming back hon?"

This question confused you. "Uh, whenever you need me to, but I thought starting next month? For the injections?" You twirled with a frayed end on your blanket. Can I still return this? It's been like a week and it's already tearing apart... she snapped you out of your wandering with her next sentence.

"Sure, your dad and I are going on a cruise this week."

A cruise? Right after her first dose of an experimental cancer drug? With unknown side effects? "Mom, your treatment,"

"Oh we'll only be gone a week. Won't interfere with my next appointment." Walter meowed again. Who would be taking care of him?

"I mean, okay. I just think with not knowing the side effects of your first dose,"

"The way I see it dear is this might be the best I ever get to feel."

That sentence hit like a ton of bricks atop bruised ribs. "Couldn't you wait a week, just see the side effects?"

"The cruise leaves the port tomorrow."

"Mom,"

"We still can't believe that donor. Whoever they are, they really opened our finances up. Your father's been saving for years to try and make that initial bulk payment,"

You recalled the argument they'd had when your mother's cancer was initially found. Your mom wanted to start a payment plan immediately, but your dad thought if he put it into deferment for a few years and made payments to a high yield savings account every month their money would 'go exponentially further'. You hadn't cared much at the time, mostly because money stressed you the hell out, and at the time you were trying to avoid thinking about your mother's prognosis. Before you could decide what to say next, your dad had walked into the room and starting shouting loud enough for you to hear on the phone.

"Hey sweets, how are you and that Wayne guy doing?"

"I don't know how else to tell you guys I don't like him. We don't talk." This conversation was going nowhere, and you could smell an impending argument if you stayed on even another minute. You needed to check on one last thing before hanging up. "Who's looking after Walter?"

"Oh don't worry about that,"

"I am worried. Do you need me to come back to watch him?"

"Debbie will be stopping in throughout the week to check on him."

Walter was never very fond of Debbie; whenever she came over, in fact, he ran and hid. If you knew Debbie any less you might think Walter was placing judgment on her character, but no: she was just very loud, her laugh sounding a bit like a stampede. Walter was never very skittish, but after enough startles, he'd come to hide whenever he heard her come around. His discomfort was all you needed. "Tell her not to come, I'm coming home for the week."

"Hon," your mom began to chastise you, but you refused to let her finish. "No, no, I'm coming home tomorrow and I will stay with him. Case closed." After saying goodbye and lying about having already bought a nonrefundable ticket, you hung up and bought the earliest flight for tomorrow: 11am. You did your best to avoid thoughts of how the thousand Dr. Vry had sent was already disappearing, and filled the rest of your evening (sans figuring out what to do with fresh bags of perishable groceries) packing to head back the next day.

The bat signal hadn't lit since Thursday night. Bruce had been left reeling, kicking himself for not following up with Gordon on the owl debacle. He went out every night, and every few hours would move to the usual meeting place with Gordon to find an empty sky. It was Wednesday night before the signal lit again, and by that point Bruce had nearly gaslit himself into thinking the owls hadn't been there in the first place.

Gordon looked morose, but resolved. "We have the autopsy back for our John Doe." He held up a graphic photo of the man, gray and laid out on stainless steel. His chest and abdominal cavities were peeled open and pinned to keep tension, revealing a normal—yet punctured—chest and abdomen. Gordon confirmed its complete lack of novelty. "Nothing. Couldn't even trace back a name. No one posting about a missing husband, child, brother, nephew, friend." He paused to clear his throat. "However, we did find something unusual in one of his fillings."

"Unusual? How?"

"The coroner said he almost didn't catch it, but he runs the deceased through an MRI machine after especially gruesome cases. Normally fillings don't show up on magnets, but these ones did." He held out his other hand, revealing a few small pieces of chipped silvery metal. The metal was extremely slick and had a mirror finish to its shine. "It's a metallic alloy of sorts. I'll send it to the lab for processing."

He nearly asked to take it back to his own lab, but that would pressure the boundaries. Gordon was in a tight spot being seen with Batman. He couldn't push it. "How long until it's processed?"

Gordon shrugged, his nose scrunched like he was still smelling formaldehyde's stench. Bruce thought he might've caught a whiff off his jacket. "Not more than a coupla days. I'll signal for you." If the city was in a better place, if Gordon was in a better mood, he might have winked.

The pause gave Bruce just enough time to speak. He said it casually, without much fuss, as if it were a rolling breeze. "Did you see what was on the knives' handles?"

Gordon sighed. A good one? A bad one? Bruce's eyes trained on him like a hawk. The cowl felt tight. "Chicken scratch, most of 'em."

"Most?" Say more.

"No traceable logo."

Frustration bled into his tone. "Looked like an owl."

Gordon's eyes focused on no particular point on the back wall, his eyes narrowing. What? He saw it too, right? pounded against his ribs to be heard. After what felt like hours Gordon shook his head. "Maybe."

"Maybe?" Was this an elaborate scheme? Did Gordon not see it? Was his, was his mind failing him? It glinted off the light perfectly, the etching was transparent in its shape, the beak, the feathers, the claws...

"You alright?" The Bat was lost in thought, breathing thick and heavy. Bruce nodded. To push, or not to push? Silence hung like smog between them. It was crucial to push it, imperative to reality check his mental faculties. "It didn't resemble an owl to you?"

Gordon shrugged. It gave no information to Bruce, who was close to running out of the room and laying face-down in his pillow the rest of the night while he actively avoided looking further into the death of his great-grandfather. Was his time coming sooner than his had? Was it due to his lack of sociability? Had he been concussed one too many times? His neuronal pathways seized up, the myelin sheaths disintegrated?

"Do you know anything about owls?"

Did Gordon know? Was this a trick question? Wait, he wasn't Bruce. He considered saying he'd seen them in peculiar position throughout town, but moreso than Gordon's rocky relationship with the police force, the man had no idea who Batman was; Bruce had to keep exclusively to formidable behavior due to the weakness of the knot tying them together. A kooky moment, or a Freudian slip could force Gordon to take out some scissors and sever their relationship. Bruce shook his head, and left.

Uber. TSA. Flight. Baggage. Uber. Key. Door. Lock. Walter. Eat. Sleep. Walter. Eat. Sleep. Walter. Eat. Sleep. Walter. The past few days had passed in such inconsequential monotony you resisted the conclusion you weren't alive at all. The only moments of reprieve you gathered were when Walter walked up and jumped into bed beside you, tucking his fluffy back against your stomach. He was the only reason you were able to sleep with the anxiety of your job being in limbo, and your mom having fled the town after her first shot. Your mom had left a note saying that the connection would be spotty on the cruise, but they would be back no later than 5pm the following Friday. Now it was Wednesday, and the food your parents had left was starting to dwindle. Your muscles ached to be moved further than the walk from your bed to the bathroom, your bed to the kitchen, or your bed to the living room couch. You put another ice cube into Walter's bowl, grabbed your helmet that was thankfully still in the hallway closet, and took off for a ride to the grocery store on your mom's old bike.

The air was warm, and the sun threatened to burn every centimeter of exposed skin. You'd forgotten just long enough that the stinging sensation was of hot sun piercing onto skin to where you decided against going back for SPF. You didn't have to worry about such basic, human things in Gotham; the sun barely came out, and when it did it was covered by such dense clouds and thick smog you couldn't begin to feel heat against your skin whatsoever. The buildings were hard and cold, the dense metal keeping you chilled no matter the season. Now the sun accosted you, the wheels of the bike running over fresh leaves and the occasional string of hay. You swerved past clumps of clay dirt that lay in the middle of the road, shut your eyes for a few seconds as you coasted, not having to look out for a pedestrian or car every five feet. This was living, this was where you wanted to be. Tears prickled your eyes as you coasted into the dusty parking lot of WinCo, a local grocery store chain to the PNW. You forgot a bike lock, but the city was small and trusted enough that you never heard about bikes getting stolen, anyway. The initial panic was immediately eased, as well as the tight knot in your chest. Maybe you belonged... here?

You walked into the grocery and went straight for the fruit aisle. As you placed apples and oranges and pears in your basket, you absentmindedly flipped through the past. When you were growing up here, it was too boring. You'd wanted nothing more than to leave. You wanted to see skyscrapers, and big cities, and always have something happening around you. Now that you had experienced the worst of what a city could give, this town with its penetrating sun and lofty trees felt like paradise. A paradise that was quickly interrupted, when you accidentally knocked baskets with Lara. "Oh shit,"

"Y/N?" She pulled her basket in and glanced to her left, at someone who you presumed was her exchange boyfriend. She stared at your shoes, you noticed her cheeks going pink. Tension yanked on your shoulders and your stomach flipped. "Hi. I'm watching Walter while my parents are on a cruise."

"No longer in Gotham?" Her boyfriend turned around when she mentioned The Most Feared City, and walked over. "Gotham? That shitshow? I don't know how anyone can live there."

Fucking prick. A strange defensiveness overtook you. "It's not as bad as people make it out to be." Yes it was. "I'm just visiting home, I have a journalism job back there."

"How's Bruce Wayne?" Her tone was mocking, quite unlike Lara, and you figured it had to be Rose and Gabbi's bitter influence in the time you'd been gone that brought this upon her. Mystery Man's eyes lit up, one of the buttons on his shirt threatened to pop like the bulgy vein in his forehead. "You know Bruce Wayne? The Bruce Wayne?"

"She knows him, alright." She side-eyed the guy and giggled. He laughed, which was startling, and shame bolted through your body like a sticky, sharp rod. He leaned into her ear and said, still loud enough for you to hear and likely purposely so, "Her?"

Before shame could fully envelope you, you righted the wrong; in part because the idea of someone believing Bruce had been inside you made you want to sink into the floor, in another wanting to assuage yourself of guilt. "We haven't fucked. Sorry. I was just trying to get back at losers I thought were my friends."

Lara gasped. "I can't believe you!" It rung hollow in your ear just as Dr. Vry had. If someone put their hand over your head they'd feel steam. "You didn't used to be like this, it's fucking disappointing." You spun around and ignored what she was saying behind you, shoving your feet against the ground, making your calves burn with each grief-consumed footstep. It doesn't matter what they think. It doesn't matter what she's saying. Soon enough you made it across the store to the pantry aisle, pretending to inspect some cavatappi noodles in your quivering hands. The cardboard soaked up your bulleted tears, and you tossed it in your basket after catching a glimpse of your reflection in the boxes' plastic window. You fell to your knees and covered it up pretending to inspect the marinara, not trusting your thighs or knees to keep you steady. Everything hit you all at once, panic rising in your chest and narrowing your esophagus. You grabbed a random sauce and ran to the self checkout, ringing up your two items, grabbing a bag, and taking off for home.

The ride home wasn't as quaint as the one there. The sun wasn't at your backside, now it seared into your bleary eyes as it set, making you unable to see a rock in the road, sending you flying overtop the handlebars. When you touched your knees and elbows, they stung and stained your fingertips red. The last ten minutes of the walk was utter misery, as blood dribbled slowly down your knees and down to your wrists. Walter meowed when you came back, but you couldn't pet him. You turned the water as cold as you could manage to wash away the cakey blood and dirt. Your hands hesitated before lathering the shampoo, and when they scrubbed the back of your head you began to cry again. Your face was hot and your body ice cold. You sat on the floor, pulled your knees up, and wrapped your hands around your chest as sobs shrieked out of you. The water ran pink, then pastel, then clear. Being alive hurt. The thought pounded at the back of your corneas, chafed blisters between your thighs, and spiked the ridges in your throat, that you might never, ever, feel "home". Walter meowed at the door, you turned off the shower, and toweled off to open another can of Friskies.

[shimmerwindow]

I Never Really

Part Ten

Word Count: 4.6k

Warnings: Alcohol use, smut (18+)

Sexual Content: Car sex, spanking, creampie as always

Playlist | Masterlist

Tag list: @jazzyfigz @dont-go-home-without-me @poochiesworld @stardustcatcher @83rkblogs @jaketsguitar @dannys-dream @gretavanfan @do-it-jakey-baby @gvfpal @ignite-my-fire

Every class with Sam was becoming more and more difficult to sit through. You had a ritual now that avoided having to see each other outside of class, where your last half of the class would be silently exchanging your notes on the project. It’d been this way for a week or two now, maybe more or maybe less, the days were blurring together. You weren’t even sure what day of the week it was anymore, letting your feet carry you to your classes on pure muscle memory.

You’d been sure to close the roof door behind you every night since the last encounter. In all honesty to yourself, you didn’t want anything to do with him anymore. You loved him, you were in too deep to not admit that to yourself at this point. But you would do nothing with those feelings, and wait for them to fade.

Every day, though, the feeling would come back all the same. He was your first thought every morning, that beautiful face plaguing your every move. Any time you heard his name, or even something that sounded like his name, you would perk up. Even walking past the guitar shop in town was difficult at this point, ever since you saw him there through the windows.

You walked out of class behind him, watching the way his pants swished around his ankles. You heard his voice.

“Hey!” In the same tone he would use to greet you. Back when you were both always happy to see each other.

There was a girl waiting at the door for him. Your blood ran ice cold, your heart feeling like it stopped in your chest for a moment. You couldn’t look at her any more than the brief glance you’d gotten. You didn’t even say goodbye to Sam as you sped away, upping your pace so you wouldn’t hear whatever he was going to say to her.

“Tonight? I’ll be around.”

You cursed him, cursed that voice of his, cursed that accent you could pick out above even the most deafening crowd. You didn’t want to hear those words.

Things felt emptier now as you braced yourself against the frigid mid-November air, the anxious waiting period between fall and winter upon the Earth. It was a time where it seemed like everything was holding its breath. Every tree clung to the last of its leaves, every squirrel buried the last of its acorns. And you, trying to bury the last of your love for Sammy, holding your breath that the tide may change and he would come around. He never would, and you knew that. You’d gotten so close, two lines fated to approach but never quite cross, like one of those math equations, the graphs, what were they called? You didn’t particularly care to remember.

Your grades had started to slip. A perfect GPA became just slightly below perfect, a tragedy in your education-obsessed mind. Though, you couldn’t quite bring yourself to give a shit when you turned in assignments half-assed and late. It just wasn’t all that important to you. You felt your phone buzz against your hand in your pocket. A text from Jake.

Haven’t heard from you in a while, hope you’re well. Want to come over tonight? Josh is here. Sam and Daniel are out.

Yeah, no shit Sam was out. Your gut reaction was to tell him no. Another night of crying in bed alone was just what the doctor ordered on a gloomy day like today. But you fought yourself, typing back a reply.

i would love to!

He messaged back saying he would pick you up around 6. Perfect.

You couldn't be bothered to make yourself look any more than half-decent after classes. When 6 finally rolled around, the light had faded from the sky, leaving only those stars you'd come to resent so much. You carried two shirts over your arm as you headed out to meet Jake at his car.

He opened the door for you, with a bow and a sweep of his arm. “Princess treatment for the angel,” he said with a smile.

You rolled your eyes at him and slinked into the passenger seat. “Thank you, sir,” you quipped back, and he pretended not to hear it.

“Are you alright?” He asked as he pulled out of the lot. “You look…very exhausted.”

You shrugged. “Finals season is coming up. Just getting a bit burnt out, that's all.”

“It’s interesting,” he cocked his head, placing a hand on your knee. “Any time you end a sentence with ‘that’s all,’ you make it rather easy to tell that’s definitely not all.”

How he’d gotten such a firm grasp of your mannerisms in such a short amount of time, you weren’t quite sure. “We can get into it later. Make me one of those fancy drinks first.”

He nodded. “Josh is already preparing the entire house as if the queen herself was coming over. I’ll fix you up something nice, angel.”

“I have your shirts, by the way.” You held them out, neatly folded.

“I figured you’d want to keep them.”

“But they’re yours.”

He let out a short laugh. “I've given you plenty of me, you can have a few shirts, if you want them. Unless you're just giving them back because they don’t smell like me anymore.”

He routinely left you dumbfounded at the way he could clock even the smallest details you would never tell him. Even things you didn’t know were true until he said them. You drew a breath to reply, but found it pointless to protest. He knew you too well.

“Need me to wear them a few times before you’ll take them back?”

“I’ll wait until I get another one from you organically. I’m sure another will be in my possession soon enough.” You smiled at him weakly.

When you pulled up, Josh greeted you at the door with a hug, rocking you side to side in a warm embrace. “So glad you’re here!” He gave you a wide smile, crossing his arms against the cold. “Are you hungry? Do you want something to drink? I got the fireplace going for us.”

“You’re interrogating the poor woman. Let her sit down first,” Jake said, holding the door open for you.

Warm light spilled out from the entryway onto the porch, which had been appropriately decorated for the season. Two vases with a gorgeous bouquet of fake flowers in shades of fall colors framed the door, and a large wreath had been hung on the door itself. Josh’s touches, you figured.

The house was warm, and emanated that familiar scent you’d come to love. It was a mixture of all of them. The fresh, earthy scent from Josh’s plants, the incense that was always burning, the wood in the fireplace, whatever cooking Jake had done that day, it all coalesced into something that made you feel at home. That was a feeling that was difficult for you to find these days, being so far away from your actual home. You were grateful to find even the smallest glimpses of it here. You curled up in the recliner, tucking your hands between your knees. The TV was on, and some cooking show droned out of it.

“What do you want to drink?” Jake asked, coming up behind you and rocking the recliner back and forth. “Or do you want it to be a surprise?”

“Surprise me,” you smiled, looking up at him. He nodded, and whisked himself away to the kitchen.

“Anything in particular you want to do tonight?” Josh asked, plopping down in the oddly-shaped chair across the coffee table from you.

You shook your head. “Just didn’t really want to spend another night alone.”

“I haven’t seen you in weeks, and you’ve been alone this whole time?” Josh almost looked genuinely angry with you.

“Well, I wasn’t going to just invite myself over here…”

“You’re always welcome. All you have to do is ask.”

“Thank you, Josh. That’s sweet of you.” It was almost aggressive, how much he seemed to care about you. It was a good feeling. You didn’t know him all that well, but you could tell he was always ready to fight for you, and he would always be in your corner.

“And what about Sam?” Josh asked as Jake returned to the room, drink in hand for you.

There it was again, that icy feeling that came over you any time he was brought up. “What about him?”

“Why not hang out with him?” Jake asked, sitting on the couch and kicking his feet up on the coffee table. “You guys live in the same building, for god’s sake.”

“He’s…” you were caught in a corner here, and this suddenly felt more like an intervention than a hangout with friends.

“He said you’re not talking to him anymore. You still mad about that fight? I wouldn’t blame you,” Josh said.

You sighed and started nervously fidgeting, lacing your fingers together. It pissed you off a bit, that he would tell them you weren't speaking much. Although, you couldn't rightfully be angry at him for talking to his brothers. “We made up after that. I don’t know if I can really get into this.”

“It’s just us,” Jake said, holding up his hands in a shrug. “Whatever secrets you have, we’ll both happily keep them. But only talk if you want to.”

“You do look terribly exhausted. Like you’ve got no sunshine left. If something is weighing on you, we’re here.”

You looked at your hands in silence for a bit, listening to the ecstatic voice of the announcer on the TV. Counting down, yelling something about how the chefs only had one minute left. It wouldn’t hurt to tell them, right? If anyone would understand, and maybe be able to help, it was the two men sitting with you right now. You weren’t ready to tell them the entire truth of the matter – you weren’t even sure you would be able to make the words come out of your mouth anyway.

“You want me to change the subject?” Jake began. “I did get this cool new–”

“No. It’s just…” You swallowed thickly, gathering your thoughts. “It’s just, like…he’s got this– this new girl I think he’s seeing, and I don’t want to…intrude.”

“Intrude?” Josh tilted his head. “If this new girl of his gets mad at you for just being his friend, he needs to tell her to fuck off. I would tell him that myself.”

“It’s a bit more complicated than that.”

Jake’s face was unreadable, something of concern and anger hiding behind his eyes.

“It’s like, we have something very special,” you continued. “Something that feels like more than friendship.”

“Twin flames!” Josh twisted two fingers together.

“Whatever that means, probably, I don’t know.”

“Don’t let him get spiritual about it,” Jake joked, shaking his head at Josh.

“Everything just feels weird between us now. And I don’t know how to fix it,” you said with a sigh.

“Maybe just talk to him.” Jake didn’t look at you when he spoke, his eyes fixed on the TV. “If you think you’re intruding on a new relationship, tell him that. He’ll tell you whether or not that’s true.”

“And I don’t think he would have seemed so sad that you’ve been avoiding him if he didn’t still want you around,” Josh added.

“I guess you’re both right. It’s just…what do I even say?”

“Speak from the heart,” Josh said, leaning towards you. “Just say whatever you need to say.”

“I’ll try, I suppose.” As much as you hated it, they were right. You’d been working so hard to run from all of your feelings, you forgot there was a real person on the end of them. Though, in your blind, irrational rage directed at him, it was hard to find a way to approach it that didn’t involve saying something you'd regret.

Josh was first to change the subject, and conversation quickly evolved through many topics. You had a pleasant buzz going, and just for now, you were able to forget all that plagued your worried mind. The fire roared, the glow and warmth a feeling you'd long forgotten in your time away from home.

Jake told you all about the strides he’d taken with getting the band off the ground, boasting about how Josh was the greatest singer they could possibly ask for. Josh had laughed at that, saying he still had a long way to go. The dynamic of the twins was something special, something you could watch for ages. At times, conversation would slow, the two of them only communicating through whatever kind of telepathy they shared.

It was nice to finally feel like you had people to turn to. You hadn’t realized how much you missed this – aimless conversation between friends. You were able to say anything in this space and you were accepted with open hearts and helpful hands. There was something so good about them, and not just the twins, the entire family. It was so right, like you’d always known them, and were just waiting to meet them your entire life.

The fire began to die, and the hour grew late. Josh looked tired, and excused himself to bed, apologizing profusely for “being such a terrible host, having to leave you.” You laughed his worries away, telling him he was always the greatest host you could ask for. Only you and Jake remained in the living room, alone with the last embers of the fire.

“Just us now.” He turned his eyes to you, a smile playing on the corners of his lips.

You suddenly felt nervous, like you needed to perform, like something was expected of you to keep him entertained.

“You wanna go for a drive?” He asked.

“To where?”

He tilted his head at you. “I know a spot.”

Oh. Your mouth opened in anticipation of words, then closed again, and you couldn’t look him in the eyes. “A spot for what?” You played dumb.

“Oh, did you want me to seduce you?” He stood, walking over to you, hands in his pockets. He stood far too close, and you had to crane your neck up to look at him. “I don’t think it’s necessary, given the way you’ve been looking at me.” He extended a hand towards you. “Come.”

You took his hand and he lifted you from the chair into his arms, your body pressed against him. God, that scent was intoxicating. Trained so perfectly to think of him, to think of the night you’d shared together not all too long ago, every time you got even the slightest hint of it.

His calloused fingers grasped your jaw, gently, tilting your face to his. It only took three words. “You want it?”

“Yes,” you breathed. He’d taught you well that first night, and you knew anything other than words would not be accepted.

The air tonight was unusually warm as he pulled you along to his car, a blessing and a curse from the Earth for what you were about to do. He barely glanced at you as you fell into the passenger seat, speeding away the second you fastened your seatbelt.

“You seemed rather eager to come over tonight. He’s really got you all twisted up, doesn't he?” He asked.

“I’m fine. I just wanted to see you, that’s all.” It was only half of a lie. You wanted to see him, of course, he was your friend now after all. But that wasn’t the only thing you wanted from him.

And he knew that. “There it is again. That's all.” He turned his eyes to you, an eyebrow raised.

“Well…” you couldn’t return his gaze. “Where are we going?” You were heading in the opposite direction of the dorms.

“Taking us somewhere nice and quiet.”

He pulled the car up to a quiet pull-off area on the side of an old road. It was one of those parking lots designed to draw tourism, long ago, before the freeway drew traffic away from this part of town. It was silent here, not another car to be seen, and you were hidden from the main road.

“Listen.” He threw the car in park and took his seat belt off, draping an arm over the back of your seat. “I’m not going to play a part in your revenge scheme.”

You stared at him, stupefied, but you weren’t about to play dumb with him. He could read your every thought, your every intention. There was no point in trying to avoid this. “There is no revenge scheme,” you said, simply.

“Don’t try to act stupid with me, angel. You’re smarter than that.”

“This isn’t about him.”

“Is that really true?” He placed a hand on your shoulder, slowly snaking it up to grip the back of your neck. “You really just want me?”

You held onto his forearm, feeling the muscles twitch with every beat of his heart. “It might look bad from your perspective, I know that. But…” you drew a shaky breath, your thighs squeezing together a bit tighter.

“But what?”

“But I knew I wanted you. From the moment I saw you.”

The tension snapped. He leaned his seat back and pushed it as far back as it would go in one quick movement, something that seemed practiced. He practically dragged you across the center console and into his lap, his teeth latching onto your neck. You both moved in a frenzy, his fingers shaking a bit with anticipation as they plunged beneath the hem of your pants.

“Please,” you whined as he dragged a finger across your panties.

“You beg so much, angel. I’ll give it to you, don’t worry.”

You gripped at his shoulders when he slipped past your panties, rubbing a few quick circles against your clit before sinking a finger into you. You were already soaked, you had been all day, your mind constantly replaying how well he’d fucked you since that night.

You searched in the dark for him, trailing your hands across his chest and down between your bodies until you found what you were looking for. You wrapped your palm around his cock through the fabric of his jeans, soliciting a soft groan from him.

“Needy tonight?” He asked with a smile. “Did I get you all worked up?

“You tend to do that.”

“Fuck.” He found that perfect spot inside you, dragging his fingers across it with precision, like he already knew all the twists and turns of your body flawlessly. With every gasp, every moan that fell from your lips, you felt his chest tighten in sync with you.

You let out a pathetic whimper, trying to undo the button on his jeans but finding no purchase at the awkward angle at which you were pressed against him.

“You want to touch it, angel?” Always so unbearably cocky.

He released his grip on your back and pushed you away a bit, his fingers still working you over. The new angle made you gasp, your hips rocking involuntarily against his palm.

Fingers trembling, you fumbled with the button on his jeans until you could finally pull the zipper down, and you hesitated. In all the frenzy of the other night, you realized you'd never actually seen his cock. Your eyes traced the outline straining against his pants. But you could wait no longer, and finished the job, finally wrapping your fingers around him and pulling it out.

No wonder you'd been sore, and no wonder he radiated confidence. The perfect length, and thick, heavy in your hand. You squeezed a bit harder than you meant to when his thumb found your clit, making his head fall back against the seat with a groan.

You couldn’t take your eyes off him, watching intently as a bead of wetness rolled down the tip. Your mouth started to water at the sight of it. That would have to wait for a different time, though.

“You’ve been thinking about it a lot, haven't you?”

Your eyes met his, your free hand snaking up to grip the back of his neck, fingers tangling in his hair. His lips were parted a bit, giving you a fine view of those perfect teeth, his mouth turned up in a smug smile. “How could I not think about you? I could barely walk the next day–” you were cut off by a gasping moan with one particularly cruel thrust of his fingers.

“Didn’t get enough the first time?”

“Nowhere near enough.”

Things were a blur as he freed you of your pants, yanking them down under your knees, just enough that you could fully straddle his lap. He didn’t bother asking if you were ready – the way you were looking at him, fingers digging into his shoulders hard enough to bruise, was enough of a sign. He couldn’t be bothered to pull your panties off, too, instead simply pulling them to the side with one finger as he lined himself up with your entrance.

You were mesmerized as he mimicked the same expressions he’d done the first time. Head tilted a bit, watching as you sank down onto him. His fingers gripped at the flesh of your thighs, one hand sliding around to swiftly crack across your ass. It caught you by surprise, making you let out a shocked whimper as you buried your face into his shoulder.

He let out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a groan. “God, you just tightened up like crazy. Did you like that?”

You nodded once, a quick gesture against his body. Nobody had ever done that to you before.

“More, please,” you whined.

He rocked against you, lifting your hips just a bit with each movement so that he could thrust up into you. The angle was perfect, every little movement he made resonated through your entire body.

Another blow landed square in the same spot as the last one, and all thoughts left your mind with the impact.

“You love that, huh?” He breathed.

He moved at just the right tempo, angling himself so your clit was pressed snug against his body. This angle made you feel so full, like he was taking up every inch of extra space in your body.

He really did have you worked up, your body already starting to tighten that familiar coil deep in your core. Your moans got quieter, replaced by gasping breaths as you tried to calm yourself down from a peak you were approaching far too quickly.

“Feels like you're gonna cum, angel.” He gripped your jaw with one hand, the other pushing your hips down to slow your pace. “Without permission?”

“You’re really gonna make me ask?” You whined, rocking your hips, trying to chase the sensation that was slipping away.

“Yes I am.” Judging by the way he was struggling to keep an even tempo, he was slowing down for his own benefit, too.

“I– please, Jakey–”

“Oh, so I’m Jakey now? Trying to be all sweet?” He smiled, a sinister smirk of perfect teeth. “I’m not sir anymore?”

“Which one do you prefer, sir?”

“Fuck,” he groaned, jerking himself up into you a bit harder. “Call me whatever you want, angel. They’re both my names, to you at least.”

He resumed a pace that made tears spring to the corners of your eyes, a gut-wrenching fullness encompassing you as every one of your senses abandoned you. You were almost instantly thrust back to the edge.

He got there a moment before you, and the sight of it was something to behold. The way his jaw fell slack, his eyes widening a bit before narrowing into what almost looked like a scowl. That familiar feeling washed over you as you felt him twitching and straining inside you, groans falling from both your lips as you came together.

You sat in the same position for a while, your head resting on his shoulder, both of you fighting to catch your breath.

“You alright?” He breathed against your ear.

“More than alright.”

“Better than the last time?” You could hear the smile in his voice.

“I thought you were going to break me in half for a minute there.”

You felt the soft rise and fall of his chest as he laughed. “Almost did, I think.”

He slipped out of you, pulling your panties back into place and yanking your pants back up.

“Wait, I didn’t even–”

“Keep it there.” He guided you back into the passenger seat where you hiked the hem of your pants back up to normal, looking at him like he was insane.

You stared at him, dumbfounded, your head cocked to the side in confusion. “Why? That's so–”

“Endorphins. I won’t elaborate.”

You crossed your legs, and gave him a slight shrug. “You’re rather cryptic. Why is that?”

“The girls love it.”

You barely had time to stop your head from spinning before he was speeding back down the way you'd came. He seemed to know this route well. How many other girls had seen this exact view from his passenger seat?

“When you talk to him,” Jake began, sliding his hands over the steering wheel. “Will you tell him about this?” He motioned between the two of you.

“I…don't know, honestly.”

“Do you think you should?”

“I don’t think it’s any of his business.”

Jake shifted a bit, his eyes glancing over to you. “I think it is, though.”

“Why’s that?”

“Well, he…” Jake sighed. “I don’t know. Maybe I’m wrong.”

There was subtext here, something that was clearly flying right over your head. If you’d only reach just a bit to grab it, it would come to you naturally. But you weren’t sure you wanted to connect whatever dots Jake was laying out for you. “I don’t want to treat you like a dirty little secret of mine, but your brother doesn’t necessarily have to know that we’re fucking.”

“My brother who routinely tells everyone about how you shine brighter than the sun.”

“Doesn’t matter. He’s got someone else, and I’ve got you.” The words left a burning sting in your mouth as they crossed the threshold of your lips. And the two of you didn’t say much else for the remainder of the drive.

“Take care of yourself,” he told you when he pulled up to the dorm building.

You sat there for a moment, your eyes fixed on him. His hair was disheveled, and your fingers ached with the need to reach out and fix it, if only to touch him once again. He was truly magnetic, an irresistible force. Like he was the moon, you were a ship on the tide, you could not fight against his gravity.

“Do I have something on my face?” He asked, with a slight smirk.

“No. Sorry. I just–” you couldn’t resist. You reached out and combed your fingers through his hair gently. It had a bit of curl to it, dampened by sweat and the humidity of the car. “I just needed to fix that.”

“Thanks.” He brushed a finger over your nose, smiling at you. “Go get some sleep, angel. It’s late.”

You nodded at him, and hoisted yourself out of the car on wobbly legs, nearly collapsing back into the seat the first time you tried to stand up. You could hear Jake fighting to hold back a laugh at your struggle.

“Shut up or I’ll never come over again,” you laughed, your heart dropping at the way he immediately covered his mouth and the laughs stopped. So, it really was that serious to him.

“Take it easy,” he called out the window as you shuffled up to the front doors.

[ros3ybabe]

Accountability Buddy Search!

I am currently on the search for an accountability buddy! Someone I can use to keep me on track with my academic goals, life admin goals, language study goals, and whatever specific things I'd want to accomplish! I also would love to help someone else stay accountable with their academic/language/life admin goals!

editing to add: I have found my accountability buddies!!! Thank you to everyone who reached out to me, and I look forward to working with my new accountability buddies! I recommend for everyone who thinks it to be useful to do do themselves, because I can already feel how good this is going to be for me, and hopefully for them too!

Here are some of my goals:

regularly studying spanish/Japanese

regularly completing homework on time

regularly studying for/preparing for exams/quizzes

sticking to my routines consistently

maintaining a healthy, productive balance between school-work-life

regularly meeting my personal goals (reading, joirnaling, working out, etc)

Here are some things about me:

I am a 21 year old female

I am a junior in university, but 2nd year of studying my major

My major is Human Nutrition/Dietetics, and I am also minoring in Psychology and Exercise Science

My current courses I'm trying to stay on top of are General Chemistry II, Emotions (psychology), and Medical Terminology

I want to begin regularly studying Japanese and Spanish again

I want to begin reading, journaling, and sticking to consistent routines as well as keep academically inclined.

My Preferences in Accountability Buddy:

Female, 19-24 years of age (no minors or males, please.)

preferably in college/university, but it also doesn't matter if you independently study languages

also has some academic/productive oriented goals, or just goals that you'd like to be kept accountable on

has a not super personal way of contact for the accountability check ins (GroupMe, Discord, and eventually maybe a way to video call once we get more comfortable with each other, but of course, safety first! and tumblr inbox works too, but I feel discord or groupme might be a little easier long term)

hopefully willing to stay accountability buddies for a decent amount of time (maybe til end of my semester? mid may?)

willing to lay out or goals, accountability check in schedule, and open to communication with respect to each of our time zones/schedules/commitments, etc

conversationaly fluent/fluent in English or English first language at the least. It's the only language I currently speak so it would be easier to work with someone that speaks the same language

If anyone is interested in having/being an accountability buddy, please send me an ask or message me! Please be respectful of my preferences tho, I really do want to be safe with something like this because with the internet, you never know. I look forward to possibly meeting/working with/becoming acquaintances with you guys!!

ps. please don't be put off by the aesthetics of my blog, I can assure you all, I am a typical, 21 year old college student who works an on campus job, struggles with sleep and caffiene, and is constantly staying on top of my grades and classes while also worrying if I'm doing enough to keep my GPA at a good spot. this blogs aesthetics are purely for fun and artistic expression. If I wasn't such an aesthetic-loving person, I'd post my own study type photos but I'd feel so less-than if I posted like, a non cohesive plethora of photos I take. I'm not good at taking photos

[theshiftingwitch]

Hey!

Lately I've been struggling with manifestation. It dosen't help that right now currently things seem to still be out of place. I so badly want to live the life I've wanted for years now yet why does it seem like it's not happening?

There are so many things I want, perfect skin and body, move into a new home, perfect health, amazing grades especially since I'm in college and need a specific GPA to move up, money e.t.c.

But it's been the opposite, I'm still dealing with these body issues, I'm currently failing a very important class, barely being able to study and tuition is to much, my skin looks bad, I'm still in this house I don't want me and my family to be in

Im trying to persist and not pay anything to the 3d but it's hard dealing with all of this, I feel so behind it literally everything I want to keep going and believing yet I'm not sure anymore.

Im really sorry for writing allow this but I'm just stuck and not sure how continue I'm sick of being jealous and envious of those living the way I want too.

Oh baby, I know the feeling.

It sucks, doing everything you're supposed to do but still waking up to a reality that looks nothing like your desires. It's frustrating, and sucks the motivation right out of your soul.

However, are you really doing everything you need to do ?

There is a lot of "want" in your question, but that's not how the law works. You don't want anything, you already have it.

And you feel like you're behind, but how are you measuring your time? Whose timeline are you on that you feel like you're behind? Because the last time I checked, it's your reality, your desires, your standards. Your time.

So let's do this: take a break for a couple of days. You need to recharge and find your center again. So far all you're doing is pissing yourself off, and that's not good. So take a step back, take a deep breath, and let go of everything you think you know about the law.

After your break is over (timing is up to you, can be a day, can be a week. Just make sure you're resting your body AND mind) restart your journey.

Decide, affirm, persist.

You want your dream body, dream skin, perfect grades, and a different home.

Make a list of all of your desires, and write down 1 to 3 affirmations relating to each one. This will be your manifestation list. Then, record yourself saying those manifestations, and loop that recording and listen to it as you fall asleep. Your subconscious responds to information better when it's in your own voice. That will be your sleeping tape. Repeat a few choice affirmations during the day as you're studying, doing your makeup, cleaning the house, walking to school... Every spare minute you have, fill it with affirmations. This will stop you from spiraling.

Most importantly, ignore what you see around you. The 3d is lagging, what you're seeing is an illusion. Your manifestations will break through eventually, they absolutely have to. But the more you wonder where they are the longer they take because all you're doing is affirming that they're not here yet. Stop that. You already have it all.

You are the only operant power of your reality, Start acting like it.

Happy manifesting ❤️

[reverieaa]

I need your guidance, i am a college student. I have been in loa tumblr since 2021, and i have been dealing with this problem since then. 

you see, i am manifesting a completely new life for myself where i am not in uni anymore. But to make a state dead is to turn your attention away from it, how can i do that when i have to deal with uni everyday? how can i do that when i think of exams, homework, attending classes blah blah blah.. 

i used to be really good at studying and get extremely good grades when i did not know about the law. why? because i desired to live a different life for myself away from this home and the only logical to do so was to push myself in school. due to that, i am now in a major i absolutely hate because it was the best thing available to start a career with a steady income. 

why am i mentioning this? because since i found out about the law my grades started getting bad. I do NOT want to push myself anymore. why would i? i absolutely CANNOT stand studying anymore, why would i push myself and put hours upon hours onto something that won’t matter anymore when i manifest my dream life��? 

that was the “logical explanation” i told myself every time i got a bad grade. but the thing is.. my dream life hasn’t “manifested” yet. 

consequently, i was extremely DESPERATE back in 2022. i tried everything under the sun to manifest my dream life whether that was in summer break before uni, i tried time crunches, working on my self concept, the vo*id.. i even deleted subjects because everything was so overwhelming so i deleted them to focus on “my manifesting journey”… 

i feel like this ask is all over the place. but everything i mentioned was to better explain my situation. you may ask “if you’re manifesting your dream life and that doesn’t include being in uni why are you worried about your grades…?”  because i am afraid. what if my grades become so bad that it do irreversible damage to my GPA while i still haven’t manifested my dream life????? I CANNOT turn my attention away from uni but at the same time absolutely hate it. I cant do it. so it makes sense why i would become so desperate and focus on time so, so much. I cant let go of time.

please, i am asking you help and guide me. 

If it's one important advice I'd have to give, is do not ever ignore the 3D. I know it must be hard for you right now, but what you do in the 3D does not matter if u satisfy yourself within.

When Neville was in the army, he said he didn't want to be there. He wanted to manifest getting out and going home to his wife and daughter. He applied to be deployed but was denied, his superior told him if there's one person he'd like to go to war with it's him. What do you think Neville did?

He did nothing. He didn't break or accept that he was never going to make it home. He continued training and slept in a room full of other military men, In a small bed.

But in his mind he was not there, in his mind he said he was at home, with his wife and daughter. He accepted with no reasoning that he was already released and at home. He said in his mind he was in ecstasy, happy and relieved even if he knew physically he was in tbe military bc he was trained there everyday.

Soon after his superior called him to his office, and asked him if he really wanted to leave. Nevielle answered yes, and his deployment was approved. He packed his things and went home.

Do not ignore the way you feel, but do not accept ur 3D circumstances as the end. Go within you mind and stay there, to yourself u are the person u desire to be, afe u not? Who's going to say what u are and aren't in ur imagination.

The only way to satisfy yourself is within, nothing is going against u and the faster u realize that, the more power to you. To me it doesn't matter what the 3D shows, if I'm feeling good within bc that is what u desire. Your oiter reality is only a reflection of your mind and it's contents. Do not sabotage yourself and ignore the 3D and what's given to you in it, that only worsens things for u.

It's not your responsibility or business for things to show up in your reality or when. U need to learn how to be observant of your 3D rather than a reactor of it, it is possible.

I wish you the best, not only with loa but school in general. Please don't just completely ignore ur 3D and view as sth going against you or as bad, it is a gift for u to enjoy your manifestations. I hope this helps and that u don't stress yourself so much. There's time for everything.

[fanfics-for-you]

what's in a name? || Patrick Verona (TTIHAY) x gn!reader (Modern!College!AU)

AVAILABLE ON AO3 (SOON)

Inspiration: ✨️Patrick Verona✨️

Summary: Patrick Verona is apparently the most intimidating guy on campus. You just want to get by, pass your classes, and get to your actual dreams. When you casually approach him one day and decidedly are not scared of him, Patrick has some questions.

TWs: light language, use of Y/N (only like twice), second person POV (you, yours).

[[A/N: This is basically under the concept that you approach Patrick first, and aren't really as afraid of him as anybody else. He's intrigued. Also this is a college AU, because I am in college and I think it's weird to write about high school lmao. ALSO,,, I know this is incredibly niche and a dead tag, but... I watched the movie recently and was violently possessed to write this. The parasites in me what to continue this universe, but idk. Anyway. Enjoy :)]]

You were exhausted. Totally and completely exhausted.

You'd stayed up all night for your chem quiz, and still, didn't think you did great on it. Which made your day ever so worse. So, when you went to the library, and someone was sitting in the spot you always sat in, you halfway wanted to cry and halfway wanted to rip your hair out. Normally, such a thing wouldn't be a big deal, but today it was. So, with a certainty that rivaled a lawyer in court, you stomped over to the chair.

For a moment, the guy didn't even look at you. He kept staring at his friend, a surprisingly 'metal' dressing guy who was talking avidly about something.

You cleared your throat.

That's when they both looked at you.

You were entirely focused on the one in your seat. A taller guy with built shoulders, curly hair and a sharp jaw. In normal circumstances, you'd probably think he was hot. Today was not normal circumstances.

The man raised an eyebrow.

Okay, so maybe it was a little normal circumstances, but that wasn't relevant.

"What are you doing?"

The man answered, simply -maybe a little confused, "Sitting?"

"That's my spot," you clarified, pointedly.

"Oh, I'm sorry-" the man pretended to start getting up before pausing -speaking sarcastically, "-Oh wait, I've just remembered, this is public property."

Mindlessly noting that he had an accent that you couldn't quite place, you rolled your eyes, "I sit there everyday. Just give me the spot."

"You weren't sitting here all day," he pointed out, "-or else I wouldn't be here."

You pressed your lips together into a thin line, "I was busy failing a chem test, now get up."

His eyes skimmed over your face, thoughtfully, "Do you know who I am?"

"Why-" you sighed out, frustrated, "-would I know who you are?"

Even despite the comment, he did seem familiar somehow but you weren't going to tell him that.

He furrowed his eyebrows for a moment, and didn't say anything. You felt like you were going to explode in fiery flames.

You groaned, "Oh my god. There are thousands of seats on campus, just go sit somewhere else."

"Exactly," the man countered, "-why don't you sit somewhere else?"

"Because-" you huffed out a breath, "-that's my spot."

"And why is this spot so important to you?" He shuffled slightly, moving his hands along the cracks of the seat, "-You got something good stashed in 'ere?"

"Dear god," you huffed out a breath in defeat, "-Whatever. Enjoy your seat, asshole."

And with that, you spun on your heel and pulled yourself deeper into the library. Taking a breath in, you pulled yourself into a seat not too far from the original, but you were around the corner so you wouldn't have to look at his stupid face. You soured just at the thought.

You pulled open your chem book, and read through it -trying to figure out which ones you definitely missed, that way you could get the ballpark for what your grade might be. You really needed to know, to make sure your GPA stayed in the range for your dream university.

But, in the middle of it, you heard someone plop into the chair in front of you (it was a group of chairs, like for a group of people if necessary).

Before looking up, you spoke -sharply, "Do you mind?"

"Not at all."

Your eyes shot up at that familiar accent, and you frowned.

"You got the seat," you pointed out, bitterly, "-What the hell do you want now?"

"Your name," he answered simply.

You blinked, (what?) before settling back into your seat and flipping to the next page, "Yeah, no."

The man seemed to move forward, and unwillingly your eyes flickered to him (his curls moving with the motion), "Why not?"

"I don't give my name out to strangers," you retorted -flicking your eyes down to your book, "-especially not assholes."

"Don't know if I can change who I am," he smirked, "-but, I can work on the stranger part."

You frowned, eyeing him particularly, "Seriously, what do you want?"

"I already told you," he replied, fidgeting with something in his hands (you weren't paying attention), "-I'm Patrick, by the way."

"Well," you exhaled, sharply, and ignored his name, "-you're not getting it."

"Well," he repeated with the same sort of grin, "-I'll just have to work on that too, then."

You looked up at him again and squinted at him -trying to read him somehow. All he did was grin at you, a charming kind, of course, that made crinkles on his cheeks. You ignored the flutter in your chest that it gave you and darted your eyes back down to your book.

The next day, you were in better spirits. After studying for an entirely different class, you were pretty sure you aced that test. So, you weren't as pissed, thankfully. Until you went into the library to sit between classes like you always did.

You paused in your step and frowned.

The guy (Patrick, your mind treacherously noted) was sitting by your chair, mindlessly tapping his fingers along the arm of the chair. He wasn't in your chair, thankfully, but still, he was in the one beside it. Pointedly close.

You huffed out a breath, and moved toward the chairs, "What are you doing?"

"Sitting," he repeated.

You raised an eyebrow.

He seemed to take that as a repeat of the question -before saying, confidently (too confidently), "I'm studying for a test."

"You don't seem like the studying type," you retorted, throwing yourself into the chair and pulling out your laptop -realizing it was no use to try and get him to leave.

Patrick pointed out, "You don't even know me."

"And I don't intend to," you replied with ease, flicking your eyes to meet his, "-your point?"

He grinned the same bright one from before, amused maybe. Your heart skipped a beat, so you dropped your eyes back down to your laptop. He, on the other hand, didn't seem to look away.

"What's your major?" He asked, thoughtfully.

"I won't tell you my name," you leveled, scrolling through your online schedule for homework, "-but you think I'll tell you my major?"

"Well," he reasoned, "-a name is much more identifiable, but your major," he shrugged, "-not so much."

You eyed him again for a second, before saying, "What if you just want to look up my classes and hunt me down?"

Patrick smiled again, before asking, "What is your next class?"

"Why?" You ask, pointedly, "-So you can force me into talking to you again?"

"Preferably," he replied, grinning cheekily.

You raised an eyebrow, and bit your lip to pull down a smile that begged to quirk up, "I'm not telling you that either."

"What if I just follow you when you leave?" He questioned, curiously, "-Figure it out myself?"

"And what if I-" you smiled at him -patronizingly, "-call the campus police?"

He raised both eyebrows as if to say 'touché' without saying it out loud. You bit down another smile and moved back to your computer -pulling out your planner and jotting down dates.

"Your pissiness," he suddenly spoke, "-Are you often filled with boiling hatred?"

"No," you sigh out, before shooting him another patronizing smile, "-that's special just for you."

He laughed then, and something warm zinged down to your toes (you ignored it), "Do you seriously not know me?"

"Do you know how many Patricks exist in the world?" you point out, "-No, I don't know you."

"So you do remember my name," he smirked, patting along his lap with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

You rolled your eyes but didn't say a word.

It ended up like that for the rest of the time, Patrick shooting questions now and then, and you shutting them down. His stupid smirk and low, rumbly, accented voice, you hated that he actually seemed kinda nice -all things considered.

But, as you stood up to leave, you decided on something.

"Literature," you said simply, gathering up everything into your bag.

He paused, shooting up his eyebrows, "What?"

"My next class," you answered, nonchalantly pulling your bag onto your shoulder, "-Intro to Literature."

Patrick grinned, bright and shiny, "Gen Ed?"

"Yeah," you answered, moving to put the last few things in your bag.

"Can I walk you?"

Your eyes snapped to him then, curiously -detailing the rather honest look, before answering solidly, "No."

He burst into laughter then, throwing his head back against the chair -you mindlessly watched his curls fall back with the motion and then snapped your eyes away.

"Same time tomorrow then?" He asked, still laughing a little bit (something in you twinkled).

"Nope," you exhale a breath, ignoring the disappointment that swirled into your chest, "-I'm not on campus tomorrow."

He seemed to falter for a second, "Do you live on campus?"

You raised a solid eyebrow, you really think I'd tell you that?

"Right, yeah, okay," Patrick conceded, holding up his hands in faux surrender, "-What days are you on campus?"

You paused, pressing your lips together, but something in you did it, "Mondays, Wednesdays and Thursdays."

He grinned a little brighter, "Are you here around the same time on Mondays?"

Something in your chest flipped, but even still, you answered, "That's what you have to figure out. Not me."

And then, you spun on your heel and walked out of the library. His laughter trailed out behind you, and if you had a small little smile on your face at the noise, that was only for you to know.

Monday came, and you woke up early and made your way to campus -the first class of the day was at the crack of dawn. You physically despised it, but so is the schedule of a college student. Plus, you still worked, so the earlier the better for your schedule -didn't mean it didn't suck though.

Sipping on your drink, you wandered back toward the cafeteria -crossing the main connecting area, where everything led to. There was a baseball game going on, not an official one by the looks of it, in the grass. Your eyes hinged on the game for a few seconds, the echoes of laughter shooting toward your ears. It looked fun, but you weren't too invested in being outside for that long. Before you could look away though, your eyes caught on a familiar frame.

Patrick.

His hair was tied back, and he was wearing a pretty bland tank top (just grey), with some typical jeans. With his hair pulled back, you could see his jaw more distinctively -the sharp lines clear from even this far away. (Not that you were looking.) The sun bore down on them but all of the players seemed to be happily distracted. And you kinda were too.

You pursed your lips, for a moment, and looked forward again after a breath, heading toward the cafeteria again confidently.

Before you could get very far, though, you heard a familiar accent.

"Hey!" He yelled, a little distant -footsteps following his voice, "-Hey!"

At first, you weren't sure if he was talking to you, so you kept moving.

"Shit, I don't know what to call you," he called out, breathless and much, much closer.

You spun on your heels with furrowed brows, and met his eyes over a few people's heads. The grin that swallowed his face whole should've been criminal, bright and twinkly and... charming.

Before you could say anything, he was by your side with heavy breaths -assumedly from playing baseball and getting over to you. Leaning over slightly, he leveled out heavy breaths. You were almost concerned enough to offer him water, but he seemed to settle himself before you could.

"Hi," he echoed, "-'Ve been looking for you all morning, what time did you get here?"

You blinked, all morning?

"I get here early, 7, and immediately go to class," you answered, a little blankly (looking for you, looking for you, looking for you).

"Oh," he paused, "-I got here at 8. There's classes at 7?"

"Obviously," you respond, because you did in fact just say it.

"Did you-" Patrick started, before pursing his lips together, "-Are you going to the library now?"

You furrowed your eyebrows, "No, I'm going to the cafeteria to eat between classes. Why?"

"I'm actually quite hungry myself," he avoided the question, "-Do you mind if I tag along?"

"What about your game?" You furrowed your eyebrows even further -eyeing him curiously.

"'S just to fill time," he explained, "-It's nothing serious. They're sure to find someone to fill in for me."

You flicker your eyes along his face, trying to read him. What's your prerogative?

After a moment, you come up with nothing and instead, just turn on your heel -leading the way to the cafeteria.

"I'm taking that as a yes, then?" Patrick called out from behind you, catching up and matching your stride with ease (despite you making no move to slow down).

You decidedly don't answer him, and say something focused elsewhere -eyeing him as you walk forward, "Do you always stalk people this much?"

Patrick laughed, catching your eye with his warm brown ones (they were almost sparkly under the sun of the day), "Only the ones that blindly hate me."

You pressed your lips together in a flat line (trying not to give anything away), "I didn't say that I hated you."

His face lit up at the words (and you couldn't decide if you regretted it or not), "Well, you could've convinced me."

You roll your eyes, and keep walking forward, "Not telling you my personal information isn't... hating you."

"I'm not sure not introducing yourself is exactly anything but hatred," he argued back, fluidly.

"I just told you that I don't hate you," you point out, "-so it isn't."

"Does that mean you'll eventually tell me your name?" Patrick asked, curiously.

You turned to him, flicked your eyes over him, and then looked forward again, "Maybe on good behavior."

He burst into laughter, brown eyes set on your face, "You're quite an enigma, you know that?"

"And you're not half the mystery you portray," you fire back, naturally, with the flow of the conversation.

He grinned at that, eyes shining with something you couldn't quite label, "You know, I don't think I've met a person like you. You're fearless in like a-" he motioned with his hands, "-casual way."

"I'm not fearless," you argue, approaching the door to the cafeteria, "-I'm just confident."

"Do they not go hand-in-hand?" Patrick offers, getting to the door before you and promptly holding it open for you -unflinchingly.

Something warm stirs in your stomach at the gesture (and his woodsy scent that brushes your nose as you walk past him), but you ignore it, "You can be certain and still be afraid."

"But knowing you're right doesn't necessarily mean-" Patrick followed you in, matching your stride again, as if it's natural, "-that you're confident."

You furrow your eyebrows, genuinely intrigued, "What do you mean?"

He paused, maybe a little shocked by your attentiveness, "Plenty of people know they're right and still concede to someone else because they don't want to fight it. You-" he pointed at you, "-will fight it."

"Well," you purse your lips, avoiding his eye contact, "-maybe I'm only like this with you."

"You," Patrick paused, "-You're not this fiery ball of rage with anyone else?"

You eye him for a second, before saying flatly, "Maybe."

"All of this seething hatred and impressive indifference just for me?" He grins, the big teeth-showing kind, "-I'm touched really. Because I am special to you in some weird kinda twisted way-"

Before you can stop yourself, you let out a laugh at his words -just a quick one. Barely there.

But you could still see the delight smooth along his face, and just knew he caught it.

"How much of that have you been holding back?" He tilted his head curiously, before continuing to push it, smirking, "-Oh I bet you think I'm hilarious."

Your heart skipped a beat at the smirk, and you simply pressed your lips together and turned on your heel to the food counter. There wasn't even a second before you heard footsteps following you.

"You're not denying it, you know," he called after you, close on your tail.

You peer over the selection of food, eyeing the different items thoughtfully, "But I didn't confirm it either."

"Still not denying it," Patrick hummed, sing-songy.

"You know," you turn to him (mindlessly noting that he is very close), sharply, "-someone can have one good joke and still be unfunny."

He leaned forward slightly, eyes set on yours -challenging, "Then tell me why it came out like you were holding it back?"

You blinked at him, once and then twice, the sudden closeness sent a shock through your brain and the challenging tone of his voice nearly gave you full-body shivers. You can't find words to say, and you can nearly see it processing on Patrick's face (the way that he had made your mind melt for a moment), so you turn to the counter and point at something random for them to pick out for you.

The woman eyes the two of you suspiciously, but still diligently pulls out a to-go plate and piles the... mashed potatoes onto it.

"Oh my god," he finally says after a moment (you ignore it).

You go through a few other items, and the woman gathers them onto the plate. You pay, grab your plate-

"You like me," Patrick retorts, and you're not even looking at him but you can tell he's got a shit-eating grin.

Your brain malfunctions for a moment, but you step toward the tables and fire back (on autopilot), "I won't even tell you my name."

He's hot on your trail, following you diligently, "You're avoiding the question."

You spin to him, and reply -sharply, "You didn't ask a question."

His eyes flicker along your face, taking you in (you want to squirm but you steel yourself in place -your eyes now challenging), and then he grins so bright that you'd need sunglasses in any other scenario.

"Oh, you're really into me," he continues, low, gravelly, accented voice rumbling through your ears.

You screw up your face into something defiant, roll your eyes, and turn back to slide into a table. Patrick follows you like a lost puppy. Well, an incredibly arrogant lost puppy.

"You're still not denying it," he slides into the chair beside you and you hate the way your brain swims at the woodsy smell that brushes your nose.

"'Thought you were hungry," you say, simply (avoiding the question and decidedly not denying).

"It was very obviously a ploy," Patrick chimed back, with natural ease -tilting his head slightly and looking at you with twinkling eyes, "-They had pizza out there for all the players. I've already eaten."

Your fork froze for a millisecond (even still, you were sure he caught it), and after a moment, you pulled it to your lips. Maybe conquering both of your lack of response and the way your mind lit up at the idea of 'he just wanted to see me'.

His smile and eyes seemed to soften slightly, as he leaned his head down to catch your eye and guide it back up to your natural gaze (your heart skipped a beat). His brown eyes were soft and if you were honest, maybe a little affectionate.

"What's your name?" He finally said after a soft few moments.

And just like that, for you, the moment snapped, and you rolled your eyes -turning back to your food.

"Oh, come on," Patrick tried to catch your gaze again, "-Look, I'll tell you. Patrick Verona. That's my name-"

You bit down a smile, as he motioned to you with his hands.

"-Now, your turn, tell me yours."

You raised an eyebrow.

Patrick let out a half-laugh, before leaning forward slightly on the table -not quite a breath away, but certainly closer.

"You're so stubborn," he laughed, "-I'll beg. You want me to beg?"

You can't help but let the smile slip onto your lips then, "Why would you beg for my name?"

"Because I want it," he pointed out, still grinning "-Because I want to know you, and personally, I think it should start with a name."

Your heart fluttered in your chest, and you let your fork hang there on the path to your face. You took a moment, scampered your eyes along his face (dark brown eyes so incredibly soft, curls coming down from where he put them up in individual tendrils). Your resolve was weakening, it was really and truly broken under Patrick Verona's hand.

Stupid pretty boys-

"Y/N," you said finally (quieter than intended), immediately pulling a bite to your mouth.

Patrick blinked, "What?"

"'S my name," you explain -shortly, moving a hand in front of your mouth as you chew, "-Y/N."

His eyes lit up at the words, that stupid charming grin smoothing onto his face as he repeated, softer than expected, "Y/N."

You shove down the fluster that begs to climb up your cheeks at his accented voice saying your name. It's something you'd never really thought about but now that it's said, you probably should've thought about it.

Patrick leaned back in his chair, eyes still set on you. He was still grinning, as he said simply, "Suits you."

You furrow your eyebrows, "What's that supposed to mean?"

He raises his hands in faux surrender, laughing to himself, "Jesus, you're a true ball of rage, you know 'at?"

"I'm not-" you huff out, and take a deep breath in, "-I'm not mad."

"Defensive then," he mends, "-You act as though I'm about to strike any minute."

You pursed your lips, "Whose to say you aren't?"

"Me," Patrick laughs, "-This entire conversation. The way I've acted around you since the beginning-"

"Oh, shut up," you roll your eyes, unable to stop the smile creeping onto your lips, "-you were an asshole once."

He groaned, but something like amusement was twinkling in his eyes, "You are the most stubborn human being on this earth-"

"You took my spot," you interrupt, sturdy.

"-It's public property," Patrick argued back, "-and how was I supposed to know it was yours before I sat in it?"

You paused, for a moment, before saying, "You couldn't. But, you could have given it to me when I asked."

"And then we wouldn't be here," he explained, now fully grinning, "-and wouldn't that just be such a bore."

Your eyes swam over his face a moment, Patrick Verona. And his dumb persistence. And his stupid handsome face-

God.

You let out a long sigh, picking around at your food. Eyes watching the swirl of your fork, you debate a few different things to say. Finally, after a few spare seconds, you made up your mind.

"Yeah," you hum, flickering your eyes up to his, "-it would."

Patrick grinned, big and bright and twinkly (you felt your heart skip a beat in your chest). His eyes, the deep brown that if you weren't careful you could stare at for way too long, were soft but still sort of happy, eager. Definitely eager.

And maybe, just maybe, you could get used to-

"I told you I could work on the 'stranger' thing," he suddenly said, smirking, "-You never should've doubted me."

"What?" You raised an eyebrow, confused.

"You said-" Patrick explained, "-you don't give your name out to strangers. And I said I could work on that part-"

You level a look at him.

"-And look, I did," he continued, before adding with a smirk, "-I have successfully escaped the cavernous barrier, deeper than the ocean I'd say, that walls you off from any poor soul who wishes to know you-"

"You're really pushing it, Verona," you chime back, fiery (but not quite all the way).

"What?" He raised his eyebrows, like he said nothing at all to warrant the reaction, "-You can't tell me that it's not like pulling teeth getting to know you. Or trying to anyway-"

You press your lips onto a flat line, "Wow, you must be a sort of masochist, then?

He faltered for a second, before laughing a little, "Oh absolutely, I chase the high of you ignoring me for 2 hours straight every day."

You rolled your eyes, biting down a smile, "I despise you."

"Better that than indifferent," he responded with ease, "-I prefer you feeling something rather than nothing at all."

"Oh my god-"

It continued like that, a back and forth, as you finish eating your mediocre cafeteria lunch. The silence is sparse but not uncomfortable when Patrick isn't running his mouth, that is. It was nice. Insanely nice. You'd probably never had as much fun on this campus as you did with him, just in general, but...

"Same time Wednesday?" He poses with a cheeky grin, leaning onto one hand against the table -closer to you than before.

You felt something warm swirl into your stomach, as your eyes flickered over his face. He was still smiling, like he wasn't able to stop when he was here with you. And something in you never wanted to see it go away anyway.

So, with a slight head tilt and a brighter grin than what you'd let slip past all day, you repeated.

"Same time Wednesday."

[abbyromanoff]

Hi! I have a fic request

Reader is always a super happy person, even when overworked and sick. Nat is trying to pull R out of her school work, but R replies with something cute and happy like "don't worry your pretty head about me, I'm fine! " which makes Nat blush, but still worried. Eventually R gets the flu or something, but is still working. Nat is surprised at how happy and cheerful R is even  though their miserably sick. Eventually R starts to cry at their desk from feeling so sick, and Nat is finally able to get R away from their desk, and helps R feel better.

Ty!! :)

Hard worker

Pairings: Natasha Romanoff x reader

Warnings: fluff, mention of vomiting once, sickness, I think that’s it :)

Word count: 1,174

I hope this is what you wanted anon, thank you for the request!

You do not have the right to copy my work, copyright, reblog as your own, or steal it!!!

You’ve always been considered a perfect student, in your high school and middle school years you always dedicated your life to getting good grades. It was nice to hear people saying they’re proud of you, it made it all worth it. And now in your college years you’ve yet to change, you spend hours and hours studying and completing your work so you can graduate with a good GPA. No matter how hard it was you pushed through it so you could pass. Your girlfriend has luckily been with you through everything, she’s always trying to help you calm down or relax if she thinks you’re putting too much stress on yourself. Every time you tried to assure her that you were fine,

“Nat, you don’t need to worry about me okay? I’m perfectly fine.” Is what you’d say. Nat started to believe it, even with all the classes and schoolwork you had, she started to believe that you were fine. Over time she stopped trying to take you away from your work which hurt but you knew you could only blame yourself.

It was a Tuesday morning and you were getting ready to go to one of your classes. You decided to walk since it wasn’t far, but a few minutes in you felt rain drops splashing on you. It quickly started to pour and you rushed to get to the University, you only had a pair of shorts and a t-shirt that you took from Nat on. Rushing to your class you ended up walking in late and drenched. You apologized to the professor and went to your seat.

For the rest of class you had to sit in your wet clothes, it was uncomfortable to say the least but you pushed through it and texted Nat asking if she could pick you up. Eleven minutes later you saw her car pull into the parking lot and ran to get in. It was still pouring out and you didn’t want to get even more drenched.

“Woah what happened to you?” Is the first thing she said.

“Rain is what happened.” She let out a small chuckle and started driving back to the compound. Even if you weren’t an avenger you loved going there, Nat even had her own room that you basically lived in.

When you got to the room you immediately went to the desk and started on schoolwork, completely forgetting about taking a shower or bath to warm yourself up.

“Aren’t you going to shower first? I mean you’re soaked and I don’t need you getting sick on me.” Nat said, when did she even get in here?

“I’ll do it in a few minutes I just want to get some of this done.” You answered, if you’re being honest you’d probably forget about the shower and end up not taking one for another two hours.

“Y/N, you need to take a shower. You’re going to get sick, come on I’ll even run you a bath.” Before she could make her way to the bathroom you made her stop.

“Nat really, don’t worry your pretty little head about me, I’m perfectly fine. I can take a shower in a few minutes.” A blush rose to her cheeks at the choice of words but she sighed nonetheless, letting you win. She left the room and you started working, for two hours. You were freezing, shaking and could barely focus. When Nat entered the room with a bowl of Wanda’s famous paprikash she saw you hunched over the desk still working. She let out a small gasp and put the food down, running over to you she saw your fragile figure. She dragged you to the bathroom and immediately ran a hot bath for you, trying to calm you down. When it was hot enough she undressed you and helped you in. You were still shaking and was as white as a ghost with how pale you were.

“Oh honey, I thought I told you to relax and take a shower.”

“I forgot.” Came your small voice. She tried pushing you into talking about what happened, on why you were like this, but you didn’t budge. When she got you out of the warm water she went to bring you to bed but you only tried protesting, saying you haven’t finished all of your work. She assured you she would take care of it and that you needed rest, you disagreed but your body had other plans.

The next day when you awoke you felt stiff, cold, sore, and had a runny nose that could beat quicksilver. Nat could already tell you were going to be sick but not this quick so when she woke up to the sound of you blowing your nose for the 1000th time she knew what to expect. Bringing you down to Dr. Cho she had her check your temperature and determine that you had a cold. Nat was already scolding you on the way back to you guys’ room but you couldn’t even focus. You felt as if you’d drop any minute, which you did. Luckily Nat was able to catch you before you hit your head but her worries only worsened from then on. For the rest of the week she babied you, emailing your professors that you won’t be able to make it, having soup delivered to you, letting you rest, holding you when you throw up, etc. Even when you’d try to be cheerful and do your work she made you stop and rest. It of course annoyed you but you knew she was right. Nat was confused on how you were able to stay so happy with just how sick you were. The ‘cold’ has only gotten worse and worse, Nat questioned if it was really a cold or the flu. But even with the pain you stilled greeted everyone happily and smiled through it.

Tonight wasn’t one of those nights though, you felt sorry for the fact that Nat has been taking care of you because of something you easily could’ve avoided.

“I’m sorry Nat.” It was out of the blue after she had delivered some food. She looked as your form with a face of concern and confusion,

“Why are you sorry baby?”

“For not listening to you. If listened you wouldn’t have to be taking care of me right now and I wouldn’t be sick.” You said as tears pricked your eyes.

“Oh Y/N, you have nothing to be sorry for, accidents happen. And I love taking care of you, it’s my favorite thing to do. So don’t apologize, alright?”

“Okay, but thank you. I really do appreciate all the things you do for me even if it annoys me sometimes, I just love you so much.” You say as a large grin breaks out on her face. She says it back before holding you close and letting you sleep. Even if she could catch whatever you have, she’d rather spend her days holding you than worrying about that.