#the response on this fic is so insane I'd have never thought that a work purely based on a dream I had would turn out like this ☹️

[adventuringblind]

Hi, I saw you were asking for requests and I thought I'd give you an idea for Max Verstapppen x reader fic. I don't request much so if it's too detailed I'm sorry, you can change anything you want, it's just a scenario I've had in my head for a while. I was thinking about enemies to lovers, grumpy x sunshine (also I'm a sucker for angst with a happy ending) ❤️❤️❤️

Ok, so imagine this: Reader is a new redbull media person/photographer and Max has an instant crush on her but acts like an a**hole cause he can't understand his emotions towards the reader. Other drivers tease him about it. I imagine someone ask why he doesn't like her and Daniel just straight up says "cause he loooves her" and Max gets all flustered. The reader is an absolute sunshine and tries to make him like her, even tho she is hurt by his behaviour. At some point (maybe right before a race or smth) he says something about her and she overhears and is heartbroken and suddenly stops talking to him.

I don't have an idea for an ending except that if you are up to I would love some smut 😂

Behind your walls

Max Verstappen x Reader

Genre: grumpy x sunshine, smut, angst if you squint.

Request: yes and it made me so happy. I hope I did your idea justice! My requests are open (specifically for Charles, Max Lando, and Oscar). Please don't hesitate to send in an idea!

Summary: Max knows he loves you but can't admit it to anyone, including himself. What happens when you over hear something he say? Will he be able to finally be vulnerable?

Warnings: Max is a jerk (blame is on Jos), pining, mentions of anxiety and a panic attack, smut, fingering, oral (female receiving)

Notes: second pov, I got a bit carried away, and I've never written smut before, so figured crossed it's not as cringe to you as it is to me. I think I changed like one or two things about the request but tried to follow it as much as I could.

If you have the chance, please check out my other work. likes, comments, and reblogs are always appreciated. I've started posting small snippets relating to my novel I'm currently editing, support for that is also always appreciated.

Masterlist

The following media is intended for those 18 and over. If you are underage, then please don't interact with this post.

Max has never been the best at dealing with his emotions. Sure he’s had his fair share of girlfriends, but all of them ended in confusion and heartbreak because of father wanting him to dedicate his entire being to racing.

So he did the only logical thing and walled himself off. Only having the occasional fling and never letting himself get to attached.

Then everything changed when he met you. Your sweet personality hired to drag him around all of his PR duties.

He'd made several of his PR managers quit. Ironically, not because he was an asshole to them, but because he had a talent for hiding from the press. It drove his managers insane. Redbull hoped that hiring someone warm and gentle was that you could coax him into fulfilling his responsibilities.

Everyone seemed to love you. Wherever you went, smiles followed. You'd even managed to convince Daniel into being productive and out of whatever his next shenanigan was. Not that you minded them, often laughing along with him if the situation arose. And to everyone's surprise, Max did spend more time with the reporters.

This, however, came at a price. For some reason that nobody could understand, Max Verstappen despised you. Or that's what you thought.

Max himself just thought he was doing the right thing for himself. No matter how many delicious coffies you brought him for early mornings. No matter how many of his jokes caused you to laugh. No matter the praises for wins and comforts for losses. Not even the look of admiration and respect you had for him and how he wanted nothing more than to sweep you away from this terrible world. He would not fall in love.

So he became a jerk to you. Giving you the cold shoulder. He always made sparky remarks at your expense. He even went as far as verbally telling you to 'piss off' even though deep down it hurt him too. Yet you still never wavered. Merely brushing it off and going back to whatever you were previously.

One day during a race weekend, Max found himself with Daniel during his downtime. The two of them eating lunch and chatting about life. The conversation was pleasant until Daniel brought up you.

"I don't understand why you don't like her, mate." Daniel chuckled a little, but there was genuine curiosity behind his eyes. Then, a realization hit the Australian. "I bet you love her! Like a crush from a schoolboy!" He announces for everyone in the vicinity to hear.

Was he wrong? No. But Max wasn't going to tell him that.

"You're wrong, mate. I personally find her incredibly annoying." He scoffed. He was also trying to convince himself of this. It wasn't working like he'd been intending.

"Why do you think? She's like the sweetest person I've ever met." Daniel gives a confused look to Max, who is struggling to find a reason why.

He finally gives the Aussie and awnswer. "She thinks anyone will do whatever she wants cause she's so nice. It's aggravating to see people flit around at her beck and call like she owns the place."

Daniel's face falls, a frown now gracing his lips. "Damn, that's too bad, I think you would've liked her if you'd giver her the chance."

It's at this moment that Max felt a looming presence behind him. The grimace if Daniel's face apparent.

"Sorry for interrupting, Christian is looking for you, Max." Came your voice. Not the one he was used to, you sounded on the verge of crying.

You turned on your heels and swiftly left to find somewhere secluded to compose yourself.

You hadn't intended on eaves dropping. You caught the tail end of their conversation as you were walking up. There wasn't much other noise around, and it's not like either male knows the definition of quiet.

Max, on the other hand, knew he messed up. He placed his hands over his face, shaking his head repeatedly. "I am stupid. I am stupid." He mumbled.

After the race that he managed to win, despite a rough start, he found himself immediately looking for you. Then he looked for you from the podium. And again, when it was time to be harassed from the media.

When he couldn't find you anywhere, he decided to ask Christian. He was hoping to get the chance to explain himself. Maybe even opening up a little because you deserved it after what he said.

Christian looked at him skeptically when he asked. "I thought you'd been told. She went back to the hotel. Security found her hyperventilating, so I had Daniel drive her back."

The rest of the day went by in slow motion for Max. Daniel mentioned a couple of times that you had anxiety. He'd mentioned that you are a people pleaser. You just wanted everyone to smile.

He hadn't realized how much damage his statement had done at the time. The guilt is now settling into the pit of his stomach.

He had someone else following him around. Definitely not as nice as you. He knew he'd fallen for you but couldn't admit it to himself. He needed to make this right. He didn't care if you hated him forever, but he wasn't going to let you think he hated you any longer.

Finally he was able to escape the cameras and locate Daniel. "I need your help."

You had spent your time in the hotel watching the race under your blankets and calming yourself down. You wouldn't lie that you genuinely liked Max. He started as an aquintance, but then you picked up on any grain he would give you. Any story he would tell to fill the silence. You wanted him to enjoy your presence as much as you enjoyed his. You knew you couldn't force it, but it wasn't going to stop you from at least being nice. Had you pushed it too far anyway?

Daniel knew about your crush. He said he saw that way you would listen to his long wonded explanations with patience and understanding and new only someone who loved him could manage that.

However, Daniel had also given you a false sense of hope. The Australian said that he saw how Max wanted to make you laugh. How he followed every PR obligation so you could keep your job. He wanted you around, too.

The tears started rolling again at the thought.

It's evening now. You hadn't eaten since this morning, but your stomach had no intention of letting you nourish yourself. Your anxiety over needing to make everyone happy getting the best of you. You hadn't had a panic attack like that in awhile. Even going as far as to dry heave because of the intensity.

You were exhausted, to say the least.

You wanted to sleep, but Daniel had texted, saying he didn't care if you wanted it or not, he is on route to bring you comfort food.

You did your best to make yourself look presentable. Though when you looked in the mirror, you definitely didn't look happy.

The inevitable knock came. You didn't hesitate to swing open the door, ready to be greeted by a cheeky smile.

What you got was a Dutch with a sheepish smile holding your favorite food and some flowers.

"Before you say anything, please let me explain." He rushed out. He needed to, though, since you were trying to close the door on him. Instead, you pause, considering his offer, and let him inside without a word.

He steps in the door. Finally taking in your appearance and the state of your room. Both are in dissaray. You sit on the edge of the bed and patiently wait for him to gather his thoughts.

You'd always been patient with him. Another reason he loved you.

"I'm sorry for what I said."

You didn't want to believe him, but there was a genuine look behind his blue eyes. You don't say anything. Opting to just listen to him instead.

"I know I fucked up." Max continues. His voice shaking more than you'd ever heard. "And I know you may never forgive me for what I've done to you. But I am truly in love with you." He stares at the floor. Anxiety making him cast his eyes to the floor.

You are shocked, rendered completely speechless at the confession. "Why?" Wat the only thing you could get out.

Max sets down what he is holding and finds the spot next to you on the bed. "I know I treated you poorly. I thought that in pushing you away, I would protect myself. But I fell for you anyway."

He inhales sharply. Staring at your glassy eyes. How were you so calm? He felt exposed and vulnerable. "You don't have to talk to me ever again. But I couldn't let you go without telling you I love you."

"I love you too." You whisper. His head snaps up in surprise. Is he hearing things? "I have for a while."

Nope, he definitely heard right. He watches your lips twist upward into a small smile and let's out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"I know it'll take time, but please stick around. Let me show you hard I've fallen."

"It dosen't excuse how you treated me, but I'll give you a chance."

(AN: You can end here if you're not in the mood for spicy things or want to leave it at cute and fluffy... or not. Your choice )

The proximity between you two is so close now. Your foreheads practically touching.

Giving into the intense pull towards you, Max gives in and places his lips on yours. You taste sweet, exactly how he'd imagined. He could already tell he was going to become addicted. "Can I start tonight?" He might be pushing boundaries, but he'd be damned if he didn't at least ask.

He didn't hesitate to kiss you again when you gently nodded your head, yes. Giving him permission to continue for now.

This kiss was much more heated. Both of you hungry to act on all the pent-up emotions you had for each other.

You had one or two partners before Max. You know how to please. So immediately you moved to straddle him. Your inate need to put others first taking over.

It shocked you when Max pulled you off. Suddenly not knowing what to do with yourself. "Tonight is about you." He whispered in your ear. Planting kisses on your jaw as he lays you on the bed. "I'm going to show you how I've fallen for you." Kiss to your nose. "How much I love you." Kiss you your forehead. "And how much I need you." Puncuated by a slow sensual Kiss to your lips.

His lips move against yours with passion and lust. You open your mouth to give him access to your mouth, and he instantly begins exploring.

His hands gently caress the insides of your thighs and run up along your sides. Pulling your shirt up little bits at a time.

Your hand find themselves underneath his shirt. Your fingers are trying to memorize the feeling of his skin.

Max pulls away for you, panting heavily. "Can I take off some of your clothes?" He asks. His voice laced with new found confidence.

You'd never been treated like this. Often take advantage of because you are a giver. You gave constent sure, but this is a whole new level. You nod your head yes again, though looking skeptical.

Max picking up on this stops everything he's doing. "Are you ok? Your face is telling me something different."

"Yes, sorry, this is just a little new to me." You explain.

The shock hits Max once again. "Are you a virgin?!" His mind reeling that he was possibly going to take your virginity and he wouldn't have known.

He's more confused when you start laughing. "No, no! It's just that nobody has treated me so well before!"

"Oh, well if that's the case." A smirk finds its way onto his face as he straps you your shirt, then his. Then he takes your pants, your bra, and finally pauses. Laying kisses to every party of your body.

"I wish I hadn't closed myself off for so long. You're so beautiful. I've wanted you to myself like this for so long."

You pratically moan at his words. "Are you going to finish undressing?"

"What do you not get about me taking care of you." He places a finger over your lips to shush you. You sigh and comply. Letting him take control of the rhythm.

Max is over the top of you. Inching his way down. Sucking and leaving little marks as he goes.

He makes a pit stop at your chest. Gently taking your nipple and rolling it between his fingers. His tongue then finds the other one. Swirling it around, then sucking. Listening to you whimper beneath him.

"Do you like that lovely?" The cockiness in his voice not going unnoticed.

He trades sides with his hand and mouth. Trying to give equal attention to both your tits. His free hand now placed firmly on your hip to keep you still.

When he felt he'd given ample attention in one area, he made his way down lower. He stopped at your still clothed lower half. "Can I take these off you now?"

"If you don't I might cry."

Max has them off seconds layer. Now discarded with the rest of your clothes.

His gaze burns into you. His breathing erratic just looking at you. "Your are the most gorgeous thing on the planet."

You swallow hard as he finds a comfortable position. His head now in-between you thighs.

His finger gently rubs where you need him, and he places love bites to the insides of your thighs. "Glad to know I'm doing good so far." He smiles. His fingers are now coated in your slick substance.

You whimper again. His name falls from your lips like a prayer.

He licks the finger that was previously touching you. Savoring every bit of the tast he can. "Exactly like how I dreamed."

It was your turn to chuckle now. "You dreamed of me?"

"Almost every night. I got off in the morning to the memory."

You want to dwell on his dirty confession, but Max's tongue doesn't let you.

It doesn't take him long to have you writhing. His tounge unrelenting.

His fingers find their way inside of you. The act alone almost sends you off the edge. Instincts take over as you find yourself closer to utter bliss. Your arms struggle to push max away. His arms hooked under your thighs to hold you close keep you from doing so.

Your back arches as you release. Max is slowly coming to a stop as your ride out your high.

Both of you are breathing heavily. Max's fingers are still caressing your hips as you both catch your breath.

Realization hits you. "Don't you need something too?" You ask, voice laced with anxiety over not pleasing him also.

Max only smirks, laying his head against your leg. "I fine, don't you worry. Tonight, we cuddle, and tomorrow I take you for round two."

And that's exactly what you did. Max helped clean you up and put on your pajamas. Then you two curled up in bed together. Him telling you everything he had been wanting to since he laid eyes on you.

You know this road worh Max certainly wouldn't be easy. But you're patient, and you'll wait for him. As long as he needs to let himself fully tear down his walls.

[bbsmuts]

Monday of Appreciation #1: July 22, 2024

Welcome to my version of Smite's Monday of Appreciation, wherein I'll name a few of the users who I have appreciated since I got on here, so about 2 and a half years. I'll probably do one of these every few months.

#1: @ggidolsmuts

Ah, Ddeun. One of Tumblr's more underrated users, in my opinion. First-class writing and support for me in the earlier (and current) days of my career. I'll never forget the first of yours I read, which was your Fromis App work on Yiren. In fact, reading this and some of your others were what lead me to write for Tumblr in the first place, which is why you place at #1. I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for you.

#2: @xiaoondc

I think it was your Momo ask that really got me noticed, since after that I went from about 50 followers to about 500 in a month. Field Trip was REALLY what got me noticed, which brought me more spotlight. Really, I'd be nowhere without your initial noticing of me. You've been a loyal supporter and advisor who's pitched several good smuts, a few of which are coming soon. And by soon, I mean in 2050. So you are a second crucial role in how I got to where I am. I also appreciate that I can go to you for assistance, advice, or just for moral support at any time.

#3: @aurorororaaa

You were my first follower. Maybe you thought I'd forget you, but I didn't. Thank you.

#4: @jazi1234

You were the first to give a like on my first ever post. Thank you.

#5: @fukurofanfics

You've been a fantastic friend my entire life, as well as being a loyal supporter of my account. Couldn't appreciate you more, man.

#6: @co-reborn

Wrote two of the best Yiren smuts I've ever read, as well as several other fantastic ones.

#7: @idolsgeneration

Somehow finds time to post pictures of my favorite idols like every 10 minutes, and a couple of those posts inspired smuts, either ones I've posted or ones in progress. And some for a long time in the future.

#8: @fillinforlater

Another one of the first writers I discovered on Tumblr, and the one responsible for many a fantastic fic. Also the one who inspired this post.

#9: @sinswithpleasure

Bucket List 5, an incredible Nayeon smut and one of the first I read after some of Ddeun's. Also someone who inspired me to start writing my ideas myself.

#10: @banananutsmuthie

Idol Club was just amazing, and the lore that came with it. Also someone who inspired me to write.

#11: @smuttysabina / @dailysabinasmuts

Phenomenal short fics every day of the week, as well as several longer works which are just as good. I really like your work on Everglow, we need more.

#12: @capslocked

Insanely long fics (it's like 30k works a smut, I swear 💀), but insanely good fics. Yet another who inspired me to write.

#13: @lustspren

Supreme writing, which has inspired the sentence structure and usage of words in some of my work. Was also the author of the first smut I gave a like to, for what that's worth.

#13: @byunrosehajoon

You're my fiancée and soon-to-be wife in about 12 hours. Love you babe.

______________________________________________________________

If anyone feels like they should have been on here, give me a shout and you might be on the next one.

All the best -상훈

[johnslittlespoon]

Hello, gorgeous!

First of all, thank you for the joy of reading the first chapter of Tough And Sweet (Like You And Me).

I just have one question: Will future chapters show us Gale’s POV as well? Personally, I’d love to see young, shy Bucky through the eyes of an older Gale.

HIII sweetest human!! <3 no thank YOU for reading omg and for the kind words plsss :')) and for giving me an excuse to talk ab this LOL. tldr: future chapters no, future parts/drabbles yes!!

i was actually so indecisive about this when i started plotting the fic because while i enjoy reading fics with alternating povs just as much as fics without them, i've never written one with them and i wasn't sure if i'd enjoy/be good at switching mindsets like that!

i ultimately decided to stick to john's pov for that reason, but also because i thought as the reader, having to see things through his eyes and only being able to guess about gale the way john does would be more intriguing, especially with john's view of the world/interactions warped and/or rose–tinted by youth, inexperience, emotional dysregulation, etc.

BUT sooo much of what i have written in my drafting doc is from gale's pov because i love picturing this bucky through his eyes too, it's just such a fresh and new dynamic for me to explore as someone who primarily writes mota–verse buckbucky, and what we see from john's pov is so different from how gale sees things of course lol.

like it drives me insane thinking about how this poor man was literally just living his peaceful life, fine with being solo, going through the routine every day of work and then bike club and then home, and suddenly he's got this golden retriever of a boy attached to him like a magnet, and he's being kept on his toes dealing with the bundle of energy, and each day is now unpredictable and as exciting as it is stressful and he has no one to blame but himself lol. and the way we don't get to see the self–restraint he has to have and the struggle to be responsible and do what's 'right' while also dealing with his own feelings, because john isn't aware that's going on inside gale's head!

i could go on and on about his side of things aughghgh so i think eventually i'll end up doing a pretty lengthy oneshot sorta thing of certain events in the actual fic through gale's eyes (kinda what i plan on doing with yadiym for john's pov) bc goddd i have so many thoughts about how all of this would be playing out from his perspective!!! if not a oneshot, then drabbles like this one i hope.

if i had the time and if it wouldn't be boring to read i would honestly just rewrite the whole fic from gale's pov once it's done because with every scene i write, i'm like ooo i wanna dive into his pov and talk about what he's thinking and seeing so BAD but i can't bc we're in john's head </3 i just love analyzing john through his eyes and ik i've yapped ab this so much in past posts but gale does see so much of his younger self in him, that's why he has a lot of patience and takes a liking to him so fast, even if he doesn't realize that right away. :')

at the very least i definitely want to write pwp oneshots/drabbles set in the TAS universe from gale's pov so i can gush over describing how pretty and sweet and mouthy john is LOL i'm sure i'll add the fic itself to a series like with my dog–coded fic so that i can build on the au with oneshots once it's done >:-)

this is such a longwinded response (what else is new!) but you poked the bubble in my brain that's been agonizing over wanting to delve into gale's pov so <3 this is much more rambling than your question warranted but thx JSDKG

[k-s-morgan]

Heyy! I am such a fan of your work in the Tomarry fandom, and I don’t want to sound intrusive, but I’m just wondering if you ever shared your history with the ship. You said before that you were a huge Snarry fan, so how did you transition from that to this? (Hehe, maybe I’m getting it wrong like you were always a fan of both since then, my apologies if ever. I don’t know if I’m assuming you’re no longer a Snarry fan.) And what made you write fanfic of them? How did you come up with such unique and great storylines? I wonder if you got inspired from someone or something because damn, the way you tell your stories is just my perfect cup of tea. And I can see you enjoy it! Really great.

Hi! Thank you so much for your sweet words <3 You are absolutely right, I used to be a Snarry shipper. I can't say I'm indifferent to this ship now, but the years where I gulped down all kinds of fics featuring them have passed. The passion isn't there any longer.

How I stumbled upon Tomarry: some months before publishing the first chapter of WHGTB, I was re-reading a Snarry fic called The Marriage Stone. Snape is not nearly the bastard I prefer him to be there, but I liked the world-building a lot, so I enjoyed reading it. There is a small arc there where Lucius Malfoy is attracted to Harry, and I found myself fascinated by it. It occured to me that it might be interesting to try the fics centered on Harry and Lucius - I was never a fan of the latter, he's overly pompous and a coward, but I wanted to find something where Lucius would be dark, regal, and a force to be reckoned with. Unfortunately, the fics I read didn't appeal to me, so I started wondering what other dark, regal character to pair Harry with. I was in the mood for something darker than I typically found in Snarry.

And that's how I thought of Tomarry. In retrospect, it's amazing that I hadn't found them sooner. I always liked the parallels between Harry, Tom, and Severus, and since I thought Harry and Snape might make a potentially great couple, I don't know why I never considered Tom and Harry in the same context until years into shipping Snarry.

I tried some Tomarry fics, and ohh, I fell head over heels. I could no longer go back to my other HP ships, it was like my most perfect drug.

I'm so flattered that you referred to my stories as unique because I actually really hesitated about publishing WHGTB. I knew I would write this story, but the fandom has so many Harry-raising-Tom fics that I thought people are already bored to death with it, so it'd be something I'd create just for myself. Needless to say, the response to it shocked me.

I consider WHGTB and ATLWETD very plain in terms of plot uniqueness - they are just my takes on 'Harry raises Tom' and 'Harry studied with Tom' tropes. To me, stories like Consuming Shadows and Train to Nowhere are unique, while I'm doing the maximum relationship, minimum plot thing. That's what I prefer as a writer, and I love it - knowing other people enjoy it just as much never fails to make me incredibly happy.

As for why I decided to write these fics at all - to be honest, I can never tell how these things work. For example, despite my intense love for Snarry and the years I spent dedicated to this ship, I never wanted to write about them. Same goes for my other fandoms. I can be absolutely insane about a ship, I can love the characters and the universe they come from to death, but the need and desire to write something can be lacking. With Tomarry, I wanted to write about them immediately.

I can't say I got inspired by anything except for a general Tomarry vibe. I think a couple of fics I read might have had an impact on me in terms of some ideas, especially Fate's Favorite since I read it an absurd amount of times, but there is nothing specific I would point out as my source of inspiration. Just a ship itself.

[solisvia]

Feel free to adapt these in whichever way you see fit in case they’re not applicable :) 2, 20, 24, 39, 43, 51 for the ask game!

Thank you 🥹🤗 No issues with answerability

2. Where do you get your fic ideas?

The Muses shoot ideas into my head and my body becomes a mere vessel. 

Sometimes I get inspired by other media and tweak their ideas and see how that works. Pretty often though, I just think about the things I'd like to see in fics and go from there.

20. Do you prefer writing AUs or canon fics?

I'm dancing on canon's grave. 

Well, most of the time. My Winx rewrite is my sandbox and my focus is on Domino and the related characters, and since my interpretation of events, plot points, the magic system et cetera differs so much from canon, I'm firmly in the AU camp. That said, I sometimes write pieces that are vague enough to be canon compliant. 

24. How do you choose whose POV to write in?

Most of what I write has very clear central characters, so I never really struggle with choosing the POV. Whoever has the most relevance to the events of the chapter will be the POV character. Let's say the Company of Light are discussing Valtor, then Griffin will most likely have the stage. (My multichapter Domino prequel will never see the light of day. I haven't written anything down, but I've certainly Thought about it 😆)

Sidenote, but first person is so unbelievably difficult to write in. Third person limited my LOVE

39. What’s your most self-indulgent wip?

The one where I smoosh all my favorite things together, of course.

Daphne is a major character in my Season 3 rewrite, and it features a plot point where her own magic is turned against her - she's put in an enchanted sleep. I was inspired by the episode Rapunzeltopia in Tangled the Series, as it uses a similar setting. Pending title The Lady in Gold.

It stars Daphne in her spirit form, as a warrior-guardian to an amalgamation realm of Magix and Domino. She's simultaneously venerated above other people and expected to give all of herself for their benefit, and as a spirit, she internalizes that role. Once she meets her subconscious self, it forces her to confront the things she's kept buried since she first appeared to Bloom - the anger at the people dehumanizing her, the despair at the Fall of Domino and everything she lost in consequence, the hatred of the people responsible, the desire to live the life that was stolen from her. Bit by bit, the illusion lifts and the dream shatters.

The sequence plays out like a fairy tale, in narrative style and general mood. It's a character study as well as a turning point for her. She comes out of it changed, and I don't just mean as a person, but also ✨plot reasons✨

43. Is there a trope or idea that you’d really like to write but haven’t yet?

Platonic soulmates! And I have no idea why I haven't written it yet, because I go verifiably insane over this trope. I don't mean magically predestined soulmates, but rather the people the characters choose to love and connect with. The kind of relationship where the characters bring out the best in each other, and complete and contrast one another as best friends/family is. My. SHIT

51. Does what you like to write differ from what you like to read?

The scope of what I write is pretty limited, as most of it is character studies or snapshots of their lives. That's also what I gravitate towards when reading, but far from the only thing. Show of hands if you love a good adventure longfic, par exemple. 🙋🙋🙋

[canonizzyhours]

I wrote this long meta post this morning when I was supposed to be working in response to someone saying that they relate to Izzy because he's an outsider, but I deleted it because I realized that I don't care about Izzy, and there's no point in arguing with someone who will be like well that's just your opinion man. Out of all the crew, I care about Izzy the least. I missed Buttons more than I'll miss Izzy in S3. So I'm going to stop reading Izzy posts.

(Although I still maintain that if you see Izzy as the outsider character in Season One you're missing the whole point of his character in that season. Being disliked by your peers is not the same thing as being an outsider!)

But I have one final vent: I'm completely baffled by the canyon. Completely. After I finished the first season, my friend warned me that there were people in fandom who LOVED Izzy, and I was like lol wut. And even after reading all the canyon's meta and all their frankly unhinged tweets, I still don't get it.

Jar Izzy? Okay, I totally get that. Everyone loves a bad boy with issues. I'd be shocked if he didn't have some fans.

But canyon Izzy isn't even Izzy. I've seen them say over and over that Izzy is mentally ill, which is never presented in canon (yet they ignore Ed's very textual breakdown??? why don't they relate to Ed's mental illness???). They say he protects and cares about the crew - citation, please. Show me the scene where he protected anyone. They say that he was completely motivated by the thought that Stede and/or Ed was going to get them killed - aside from Izzy freaking out over the Spanish in 1x04, there's no evidence of that, either. Every character trait they like about canyon Izzy (secretly soft inside, a genius, a natural leader, creative, funny, really really ridiculously good looking, probably nice to kids) literally belongs to the character of Ed!

Then I see posts saying that they relate to Izzy because they're mean and no one likes them... yikes. Or I see them say that they relate to Izzy because they've loved someone who hasn't loved them back, but then why do they vilify the character their fave loves? They've been queer baited because Steddyhands was totally written into canon. Izzy was the only real disabled character. Izzy was the only real gay character. Izzy was the only one with a queer storyline - I guess Stede's entire storyline in Season One never happened?

And you know what, I could probably ignore all that. I could stop checking Tumblr. Hell, some of the Ed takes annoy me because they go too far in the opposite direction and call Izzy an evil mastermind; there are a lot of annoying posts on this site. But it bleeds into my first love: Modern AU Fanfic. Any time I click on a fic that pairs Izzy with anyone else it's more likely than not to portray Ed as violently insane or emotionally manipulative. It bums me out because I'm going to have to start filtering out more and more fic, and I'm going to miss out on some real gems just because it's also tagged Izzy Hands. But I don't know how much longer I can read fics where it turns out that Ed beats and tortures Izzy and only Izzy because they have a special connection, and Izzy gets with Lucius or Frenchie and Ed can't handle it because he can't deal with Izzy loving anyone but him, and Ed picks at Izzy and says terrible underhanded things about him, and everyone is secretly on Izzy's side. WHY ARE THERE EVEN SIDES???

Anyway, I blame Sherlock and discord.

#198.

[prince-liest]

This may be an odd question, but I believe you mentioned you got into writing because of rp(or at least into fanfiction?) And I was wondering how you transitioned into writing solo? Most of my writing is/was with a partner, but I've been trying to write on my own, and I've found it incredibly difficult. I'm told that what I write is still good regardless, but I've a hard time both finding enthusiasm for it without a partner to bounce off of or finishing whatever I'm working on.

This might just be a me thing and more to do with being self-critical, but if you have any advice, I'd really appreciate it. I just want to figure out how to enjoy writing again without jumping through weird hoops for motivation.

(You may have already been comfortable writing even before rp and if that's the case, feel free to disregard this question.)

I'd tried to write a bit of fanfic before my RP days with limited success motivating myself, so it really was very much RP that got me the skills and ability to be able to write full-form fics!

But more than mechanical skill, mostly I think the issue you face is very similar to what I struggled with for a while when swapping to writing fanfic, which is that a lot of the reason RP is so easy and rewarding is because it's such a profoundly social activity. You write a few paragraphs and then you get social feedback immediately from your RP partner in the form of chatting about it and/or the RP response you get! With fanfiction, you have to write a whole damn piece or chapter, post it, and then hope that you get comments if you want engagement - and then those comments are inevitably going to be a little bit less personal if, like me, you RP OCs that you put a lot of yourself into rather than pre-existing characters!

The problem with doing things for the sake of extrinsic motivation is that it kills your intrinsic motivation to do those things. This isn't a moral flaw, it's a documented psychological effect! Nowadays I write primarily because I want to see the things I put into the world, but that's fucking easy for me to say when I also have a large reader base and really enthusiastic commentors, isn't it? And it took me a hot minute to figure out how to transition to motivating myself that way rather than because I wanted interaction.

My suggestion is, honestly, to find folks that hype you up! I kinda crested that barrier by getting possessed by writing demons and pounding out like 60k words of insane Hawks-centric character study in one month during the 2020 quarantine, and I was lucky enough that people really liked it and immediately flooded my notifications with the kind of really lovely, long-form comments that my writing style encourages, which isn't really a typical experience. Those folks that hype you up, it is LOVELY if they are your friends, but sometimes what you really need to do is find the small social circle of freaks that are really into whatever niche thing it is that you are writing, and infiltrate their Discord. Ship-specific groups are really good for this! (Especially for rarepairs.)

But a lot of it is really going to be finding the balance of finding supportive people who will feed into your excitement, and also finding that part of yourself that finds the process of writing to be fun. Social activity is still 100% just a necessary part of the human experience, and I myself post snippets of my writing online and on Discord all the time for the little dopamine hit of "Yay! We're enjoying this together!" but it's become something I do because I want to share the joy I already get from writing, not because I'm writing to share it!

Which also means that you should write things that you enjoy writing. ;) Write things you are actually excited about - not just things you want to read, but things you think would be fun to write, and if there are boring parts that you're getting stuck on? Fucking skip them! I am not kidding! You think anybody thought it was a loss that I literally never even mentioned how radiostatic got together for the first time in 666? If they did, nobody's mentioned it, because it wasn't necessary to the story I actually wanted to tell. Literally so goddamn many of my fics start with cold opens because I don't like to bother with exposition until things have already gotten rolling. Fanfiction especially is GREAT for this because people are already familiar with the world you're writing in!

You are writing to entertain yourself! If it's not entertaining, don't fucking write it! Or figure out what about it is boring you, and then write it differently. This will have the splendid side effect of teaching you how to write transitions and also making a fic that is more fun to read. >:)

Anyway, this has gotten quite long, so: I'm sorry that I wasn't able to offer a great deal of advice, because I relate deeply to what you're experiencing but I basically got to speedrun the transition phase. I hope that it was at least a little bit helpful!

[destiny-in-the-universe]

i have a problem

my dash is getting filled with merlin content and now i have all the thoughts ever, i am slowly going insane-

first of all, i was literally part of superwholock (and merlin!) which meant there was a lot of room for chaos and shenanigans- as a roleplayer, i remember this was so illiterate but i can't handle that and so i'd troll people by replying in solely multi-para responses, but going back to my ideas!

on one hand, i could see about reworking on my older abandoned works - mostly due to hyperfix drops - but honestly, i might genuinely see about bringing them back! let yourself be 'cringe', write what you want and don't let anyone stop you! i never finished my superwholock fanfic because i thought it would be ill-received but if i can publish a fic for secret quartet- i can write that too

but i also had plans for a theoretical continuation of the series, and i genuinely had a smaller arc where it involved once upon a time- and merlin having his own antique shop and just- grrr, it was this whole thing cooking in my brain before i dropped it

except now, i am immensely and horribly fixated on rc9gn and that has to be one of the best (and equally worst-) interests i've ever had, i can't get enough of it which leads to this: merlin x rc9gn crossover. hear me out-

somehow, merlin ends up in norrisville and begins to realize there's a deep magic in the area, and it haunts him to the bone- he still hasn't found arthur which is a story for another day (meaning this idea is a wip-)

because it's merlin, he doesn't know how to let things be and decides to investigate; he inevitably learns about the ninja and is surprised when the energy seems young- that the current ninja is, in fact, a teenager and not an 800-year-old spirit. deciding he can't let this slide, merlin becomes involved in randy's life- wanting to help him but of course certain individuals make this incredibly difficult

so now, you have randy who's being mentored by both the literal embodiment of a book that's centuries old and the most powerful warlock to ever exist- but he fears being too much, can he really do this? though by technical terms, randy has magic; this has been proven, and i honestly thought of pyrokinetic randy- yk, because of his connection with the tengu

things slowly grow tense because this isn't a cartoon- how could it be? the sorcerer is a dangerous foe and eventually, he manages to escape; norrisville is throwing into disarray but randy has his mentors- he is not going to let them win... and happens to discover something about himself he didn't think was possible...

merlin will not see randy die. he will not witness something like that- but he knows randy's different, he isn't like the past ninjas (as i feel merlin would be contacted by the nomicon at some point-) and everyone will remember his feats, but things are never that easy

this is another extremely self indulgent idea but it's mine and i will write it, so if you see this more (and things like the warrior cats crossover for rc9gn) then that's what will happen pfft

[hitsuzenhusbands]

hey! i hope you're having a good day! i just read your (amazing!) asoue fic "ashes to ashes," and i was fascinated by the way you portrayed kit and olaf. i thought i'd send this ask because i'd really love to hear more of your thoughts on their dynamic if you feel like sharing? but if you don't feel like expanding on it, i totally understand! thank you so much for sharing your beautiful work on ao3!

OHH anon you are so kind...i apologize for being so extremely late but i just finished writing a little analysis so i figured now's about the right time to write a semi-legible response. might have been scary and incomprehensible otherwise. but i am finally here to scream and cry and thank you so desperately because im SO happy you enjoyed them AND decided to ask for more info! <3

to begin, i'd be absolutely inconsolable if i didn't point you towards @virginian-wolfsnake's fic the eye of the storm, probably one of my fave k&o fics of all time that delves into the meat of their relationship through the years from the perspective of kit. they're young and still excited by missions and flirty and tender and genuine, and, in time, when the rest of their world collapses, so do they--messy and tense and so wonderfully realistic you have to read it and then read it again. honestly, if you don't want to read the rest of this but still want an answer, just read that. but also read it anyway

and now i have to ask you to forgive me...i have not read the books in a very long time and while i know the netflix series (in comparison) is bad and awful and terrible, i have watched it a million times. so if i'm wrong on anything. that's why.

to begin, the version of olaf i depicted in my fic is at the height of his...how do you say...pathetic misery. not including the spiral he has during the series. to me, the death of his parents are the beginning of his downfall into something-like-insanity, but he's still (and will continue to be) recognizably himself, if that makes sense. he's always been messy and emotional and dramatic (see the line: "...Kit has seen him in worse states and with a much better view..."), but only now does he reveal not a different side of himself per se, but a different angle of one that already existed.

im a fervent believer that olaf's always been a little self destructive and a lot crazy. hes spent the greater half of his life coming to terms with the fact that he is intrinsically not as noble as the rest of vfd--hes impulsive and obnoxious and self-obsessed, barely even literate at times--and it takes a special kind of guy to carve the insignia of the organization full of people he despises into his own front door. still, his parents' death was a catalyst, meaning he wasn't entirely opposed to vfd beforehand. he probably liked the missions and the secrecy and the dramatics, obviously the disguises and everything, but i think before the night at the opera it was really just a source of fun for him. he never truly grasped the reality of it, the nature of his actions and the weight of his involvement. whether that was out of naivety or pure neglect of the facts is up for debate. (there's a little bit of this in the shattering of thalia and melpomene if that interests you at all, beloved anon. see the line: "...[Esme] could never compare to the extent to which [Olaf] removes himself from everyone else entirely. How he spends so much time worrying about himself he almost forgets to worry about himself...Esme could never truly get lost in her own greatness. Could never turn a blind eye to the inner workings of V.F.D.")

kit, on the other hand, definitely did. serving as a volunteer was her purpose, the sole thing she had to cling to. she dedicated her life to it, making conscious decisions to go against her moral code in the hope that it all truly was for a greater good. i think, at times, she could fall into her own little fits of self-destruction, putting vfd above herself entirely (see the line: "This wouldn’t be the first time she’d done something she would never truly volunteer for...he’d still spent year after year watching her run off...to do something she could never speak of." "...she still returned with clenched teeth and knit eyebrows, as though she had no choice in the matter at all.")

to avoid any more convolution, in my mind it goes something like this: both are volunteers--olaf born and raised (along with beatrice), kit torn from her family and thrust into the thick of it so early on its all she knows. they grow up, probably-definitely know each other but dont know each other until, say, late teens-early twenties?

up until then, they've been everything previously described, but intermingling with one another changes this. olaf's easygoing approach rubs off on kit, partly because she finds more joy in his company than in missions, partly because he makes every attempt to keep her from leaving. i like to think she tries to keep his relatively flimsy moral code in check, or at the very least restrain his temper to the best of her abilities.

to me, they're a simultaneously great and terrible couple. at their best, they counteract each other in a positive way as described above and serve as a welcome distraction from the realities of a crumbling vfd, a little island of tenderness and domesticity in the ocean of turmoil that surrounds them.

and at their worst, their personalities combat so violently it's hard to see how they ever could have been together. olaf deals out the worst of it, prone to neglect and self-isolation, a deeply inset refusal to discuss anything with her, an inclination towards firestarting and an increasingly poor reputation with everyone kit knows. then again, kit isn't free of blame (if you can call it that), she's just as opposed to talking anything out as he is, and her isolation takes on the shape of running off to do as many missions as as she can before she's dead on her feet. she's pulled in different directions--a well-instilled hatred towards firestarers, only further influenced by whatever rumours olaf's growing list of enemies supplies her, versus her love for him, her knowledge of who he really is, a concept that is often tested. (see the line: "He’s reminded of a fight they once had, about something or other, that ended in her angry admission that it was easier to be upset with him when he wasn’t nearby.") 

anyway, the idea is they grow further and further apart both ideologically and physically/relationship-wise until the opera night and the crash following that (see: the whole fic!) and from then on i think they fall into something like an evil situationship. they barely see each other, complete opposite sides of the schism. i say situationship because i think when they do see each other (on missions, at events/in public, in private, etc.) it is just a terrible experience no matter what. they're both torn between hating the other for what they know about them/what they did (i like to think olaf finds out about kit supplying the darts) and reminiscing/yearning for what they once had.

for the sake of this i wont give my thoughts on whose baby kit has because that's a whole other thing (not really. its just more of a fun hc i think about on occasion as opposed to something concrete in canon or even my version of canon) but their scene in the end does make me insane. its a culmination of all the time spent wishing what happened didnt happen, almost as though theyre seeing each other for the first time once again, perhaps not blind to the past but looking away for (on olafs part) one final moment of normalcy.

i hope thats what you were looking for to any degree, anon. im a little rusty on my lore but they matter to me soo much. if i have to leave this on anything, its go read eye of the storm. kitlaf fic of all time.

[blood-mocha-latte]

fic writer interview

tagged by the lovely @almost-a-class-act <3

How many works do you have on AO3?

12 and i would Die for 8 of them lmao

What's your total AO3 word count?

261,972

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

fics i wrote for therapy purposes lmao

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

always always always. sometimes it takes me Forever but there Will be a response and it Will be slightly insane <3

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending?

probably the speirton bonnie and clyde au. which, like, ambiguous ending, but still Sad i suppose

What the fic you've written with the happiest ending?

my Favorite happy ending i wrote was for the loosier fic, but i'm also biased because i loved writing it lmao

Do you write crossovers?

not really lol. in the hbowar fandom i feel it's slightly easier to write organically so i'm not opposed to it on premise, but i feel it'd be difficult to write different personalities convincingly

Have you ever received hate on a fic?

yes yes yes yes absolutely. not for a couple of years but i've lived a colorful life

Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

indeed! however, there are Very Specific Conditions that i must follow because otherwise i will lose my fucking mind

Have you ever had a fic stolen?

i mean...... i hope not........

Have you ever had a fic translated?

yep!

Have you ever co-written a fic before?

my wife doesn't have an ao3 (she's a moocher) but she wrote a large chunk of the speirton bonnie and clyde au and breathed a plot into it so. that's definitely a joint effort

What's your all-time favorite ship?

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will?

i never say never but there's a good chance the webgott pulp fiction au will never see the light of day. it's a rebellious teenager

What are your writing strengths?

god i don't even know. pacing and homosexuality. does that count

What are your writing weaknesses?

yes

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic?

i grew up speaking two languages and i think it's sort of impacted my writing where I Do Not Like not getting to write other languages in fics bc like!!! what about the inherent joy of communication through all sorts of worlds??? so. very much in favor

What was the first fandom you wrote for?

the fucking GREAT ESCAPE movie i'm not even kidding. for my beautiful bride when we were eighteen

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to?

hashey/garcia is my White Whale and i will build them up from the ground with my own two hands. just gimme the time and mental stability here i come

What's your favorite fic you've written?

the entire little talks luztoye series is completely written, almost 300k, and my Childe, but i'd say the third instalment which has. yet to be posted is the best fic i've ever written. granted i wrote most of it when my wife was in the hospital by hand at night and haven't reread it so it might be garbage, but i still love it with all mah heart

not tagging anyone because i think everyone under the earth has been tagged, but if one of y'all hasn't this is your cue to do this and tag me. ily.

[loosesodamarble]

Hi soda I'm the Nacht x reader HC requesting anon. Loved your Nacht fics . Can you give 9,10,11,12 for nacht.

Blessed be the Anon that asks me to make Nacht content. You have my thanks for giving me the honor of making more content for the fandom's beloved devil~! And of course I can answer those questions from the ask game!

..........

9) Could you be roommates with this character?

To be clear, I've never had a roommate before (living with family) so I don't have experience with the kind of dynamics that come with roommates. But in theory, I think I could manage with Nacht. He's not a friendly person but I imagine him as responsible and having a decent head on his shoulders so we'd likely be able to discuss a distribution of chores and other mundane details like that when living together. I worry about having to deal with his critical attitude as a person and not from a character but I'd get used to it eventually (and it isn't as bad as my boss's attitude so...).

Really, the only thing that would stop me is my family. My parents and sisters would never allow me to live with a dude outside of wedlock. But like, in this theoretical scenario, am I gonna let that stop me? No, of course not. So yeah, if I could I would roommate with Nacht.

10) Could you be best friends with this character?

I couldn't be as best a friend to Nacht as Yami is but I would certainly try to be someone Nacht can rely on and confide in. I'm not gonna judge him for his past and I won't let him wallow in self-hatred.

It would be a struggle though. Not because of Nacht. But because of me and my hardcore simping for this man! Like, AAAAAAHHHHHHH! Being in the friendzone would slowly but surely drive me insane honestly.

11) Would you date this character?

Yes yes yes! Without a second thought, I would totally date Nacht!

Nacht's attitude, I can work with. His emotional baggage, I will accept and help him through it. His devils, might draw some questions from my religious family and relatives but they're cute so it's okay. And, I must be honest, his looks are also a big allure; I want to run my fingers through his long, pretty hair okay! I want that man more than I want air itself.

I want to be the one who makes Nacht's heart race and someone he can rely on in his darkest times. I want to be able to tell him how much I love him and want him to find happiness despite his mistakes earlier in life.

12) What's a headcanon you have for this character?

Nacht talks to Morgen's grave regularly after returning to Clover Kingdom. Morgen can't answer of course. But Nacht can at least pretend that he and Morgen are actually talking to each other the way they never really talked back when Morgen was still alive.

Nacht tells Morgen about the Bremen Devils and the Black Bulls. He talks about the people he met in Spade. About how it feels to work as a Magic Knights. He wishes that Morgen was alive again so they could be Magic Knights together. Nacht wants to tell Morgen everything now, even though it amounts to nothing.

[obstinatecondolement]

Having kind of a post-NaNoWriMo dip in mood re: the fic groove I have been in tbh. (mental illness and insecurity bullshit, mensturation mention cw)

I do still feel Very Strongly about the ideas I have and I do want to write them/continue working on them in the case of the two WIPs I started this week, but without the external structure of the event it's harder to thinking about sustaining that, especially given that I was making so many glaring mistakes that I feel looked very amateurish (I know it's an amateur hobby, but whatever, I expect very ridiculously high standards of myself in almost everything that I would never hold anyone else to and it's always crushing when I inevitably fail to meet them, lol).

The things I was getting wrong were mostly basic spelling errors, using the wrong word in common phrases that turned things into the uncanny valley of that phrase that didn't not make sense but weren't how anyone would say that particular thing naturally, accidentally flipping word order (or not rephrasing the rest of a sentence properly after copying and pasting things around, etc.), and just, like ... random gibberish typos that only became obvious to me after I posted, despite trying really hard to self edit myself carefully.

It's very difficult for me to have the focus to be able to do that sort of detail oriented task when things are in fast-brain mode. And, like, attention to detail is something I am typically very good at, so it's deeply embarrassing to me, especially in a new fandom where I'm creating a first impression.

And like, more generally I also feel like the shine has kind of gone off me and, I know that this is just my literal mental illness distorting my perception of Everything, but it feels like the fandom is already kind of over me because I'm too much. This is all very much a me problem and I don't think it's true or that anyone has treated me badly or done anything that would reasonably create this impression to a person who was not Going Through It (hence the read-more and, like, also: if you are a recent Ghosts follower you have done nothing wrong and have been nothing but nice to me and I don't want you to reassure me*, I'm just insane and I need to get a grip/have serious mental health issues and need to be better at distress tolerance and not being so insecure in how I'm perceived and prone to assuming that people are sick of me.

But, anyway, I think that part of this is just like... also pretty normal? Hypomanic episodes can last up to months, but usually they do fizzle out much sooner than that for most people most of the time, so I think that I just have kind of run out of steam and now I'm going low again having been pretty high for a sustained two-ish weeks and the very obvious external end of the line signal given by NaNo ending has kind of naturally triggered that downturn.

And I am like, speaking pretty approximately here? I think I probably have mixed episodes more than pure hypomanic episodes, for the most part? But, yeah, I don't know. I think the rollercoaster is coming out of a corkscrew and it's just going down now. Which, you know, does suck but it also won't last forever, so that is some comfort. I also still think I might be premenstrual, which does fuck with my head a lot, so, y'know. TL;DR, I'll be fine, but I am having a hard time. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

*Like, genuinely, please don't. This is a Me problem and I think it would be bad both for me and for my relationships with others if I were to make the people around me feel that they had to constantly protect my feelings by showering me with attention and reassurance, or whatever. And also, like, I'd feel Very Bad if I thought other people felt guilted into doing that because I made a vent post about my irrational feelings that I know full well on an intellectual level are not reflecting an objective reality, because other people do not deserve to feel personally responsible for the bullshit my brain pulls on me.

[bartonbones]

hi, i saw you saying that you wish there'd be more fics of the bear and wondered if you'd have any thoughts on something?

basically i'd love writing a fic but i never have because it's difficult for me to come up with ideas for it. and any time in the past that i've tried to sit down and write something anyway, or come up with what i'd be interested in seeing my head goes Empty. (i don't have this problem with like. discussing and analysing stuff. i guess that's the direction my mind works more automatically rather than coming up with scenarios)

so yeah, i'm interested in how starting writing was for you, and if you have any work-arounds for stuff like this or ways to get inspired 👀

okay i'm sorry this took so long to respond to!! i was out of the country for awhile and also trying to think of the best response i can give to this while also being someone who treats writing as if i am the mormon prophet joseph smith waiting for my next fanfiction to be dug up from the earth or divined from the heavens or something. i don't know if there's much helpful advice i can give you other than a) be insane and b) wait for it to happen. sometimes fanfiction writing prompt events help as a jumping off point! one of my fics started from a prompt like that and then spiraled. mainly i've been very lucky and very blessed to share in my creative endeavor with a friend who is a better writer than me and who always wants to come up with fun ways to make fictional guys suffer. if i had to be honest, the ideas come a lot easier to me than the writing does.

when i'm watching a show and there's a thing i think could happen that i'd like and then it doesn't happen, sometimes i write that. or when a thing happens but they don't spend enough time on it, i want to expand that or when there is an answer but no one's provided the question, or a question with no answer. i'm always just watching something and wondering what else has happened or what else could happen. fanfiction is a world of what if and if then and if not and maybe if. even crazy questions can be fun if you take them seriously !! think of the most out of character thing a character could do and then find a logical way to get them to do it. stuff like that!

anyway i feel genuinly that this isn't helpful and i am so sorry for that but writing to me is not something i do it's something that a puck-ish spirit bestows upon me at whim and usually at the worst possible time for me to write it. and then i write it anyway. and then i beg it for more because it's fun and i like comments and i don't end up writing again for a year. i can not explain it. all that being said, though, discussing and analyzing is also a very vital, creative, and worthy outlet for ideas and expression!! some fics of mine wouldn't exist without a meta post to spring them to life. so if fanfiction writing never turns out to be your thing, i hope you can express yourself that way and know that it's just as important !!

[space-blue]

1, 2, 3, 8, 9, 11

Great selection, this took me a long while to hunt down the answers! From the Fandom end of year ask.

favourite fandom you joined this year

Bit of a cheat because it's a 'sub' fandom, but I'll say Andor (star wars). Avatar is right there, yes, but it doesn't have the oomph of Andor. Avatar has a ton of missing character development, and if the world were more approchable, I'd see myself doing a lot of fix its and missing scenes. Andor is difficult on the other hand because it's so perfect. Hard to feel like I have anything to add to the fandom. But it's the one show I've been rewatching to death and having so much respect for.

favourite fic of the year 

This is basically impossible to piiiiick.

I'll mention Fathers & Daughters, even though it's my own, because you have to goddamn love a fic to spend more than a year slaving over it. And I dooo, and yes I AM working on the final chapter still, soz lol

The hottest smut I've read was Boundaries by Spiced, and well, I did nag about it when we discussed the idea, and it's a gift, but that doesn't change the fact it's the best :3 Very happy with it. It's hot by my ace standards. Basically very mindfuck focused. Fandom is Andor!

And then for multi chapter, I'm going to mention this absolutely insane and amazing FE3H complete fic To Those Who Are Never Going Home by MadameHyde. It's set after the game in an Empire win, where a lot of the Blue Lions find themselves teaching at Garrech Mach. I didn't read the tags so some reveals blew my little brain out of the water, it was amazing. Super prose, very character driven, really enjoyed it.

favourite fanart of the year

I thought this would be hard to answer, and then I realised it wouldn't be, actually, even if I'm cheating. BOTH these Maliketh fanarts have been my screen backgrounds for MONTHS. This one is on my phone and on my better Discord :

And this one is my laptop background :

They're dope and Maliketh is top pubber and I'm still obsessed with him. He's peak design and radiates blorbo energies. He's broken and I wanna fix him and pet him and--

favourite author of the year

@spicedrobot That one isn't too hard. I've read a LOT of their work this year, by vertue of doing a lot of beta swaps, and because they write some very delicious ships. They are responsible for 99% of my smut intake in 2022. Also I think it says a lot about an author that you can beta them every other day and never get tired of their unhinged content. They're just that good. (They are in a constant state of wrangling me over my terrible comma game, so they're also very patient and could have strangled me a long time ago, yet they didn't!)

favourite creator of the year

Very hard choice, especially when it's so broad and I've already struggled with the fanart one… But I'm going to go with :

@aromansoul. I just really love their art, and finding them through a shared Silco obsession was delightful. They have a very unique style, with colours that seem to float and come in and out of focus. You'll be staring at a super rendered area and it's perfect, and then you look elsewhere and realise half the drawing is just broad strokes… Absolutely tricks my mind, it's delightful. Also they have some fantastic unique designs of their own content that I think are dope.

favourite OC you met this year

Ah, finally an easy one! Meet Rain Drenched Mountain. He's @scuttlebuttin's Predator OC and he's very sweet. I love his design, his lore, and I think he has great taste. Very handsome lad and each time I see more art of him I feel like a little kid. I mean, Scuttlebuttin is a big favourite artist, and where they're not in a very very distressing blood-gore-clown period, I'm always thrilled to see what they post. Just check out their Odin fanart for the new God Of War, it's out of this world!!

[aseplant]

Twenty Questions for Fic Writers!

I was not tagged,,, but I felt like doing it anyway haha

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 12! I'm not sure when that happened, whoa.

2. What's your total AO3 word count? 55,540.

3. What fandoms do you write for? Primarily the Ember Knight, and probably Hand Jumper once it comes off hiatus. I'll branch out if/when the urge strikes, I think.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

the price of divinity - Genshin Impact, Jean & Venti (121 kudos)

walk these shorelines with me - The Ember Knight, Nagyunn & Najin (83 kudos)

Mind Games - The Ember Knight, Nagyunn & Zius (72 kudos)

heavenbound laughter, hellbound lies - the Ember Knight, Waron/Zius (57 kudos)

nagyunn’s treatise on scamming important people - the Ember Knight, ostensibly Nagyunn/Tyr; mostly, it's crack (55 kudos)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? I try my best to reply to every comment I get! It makes me really happy when authors take the time to respond, so I try to make an effort to reciprocate from the other end. Plus: I write primarily for obscure-ass fandoms, and I want it to feel like people can talk to me, not just consume from me, so.

6. What is a fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? I have been reliably informed that I am SHIT at gauging the angst levels in my own writing. Having said that, I'd vote for the price of divinity, since it's a combination of bittersweet ending + major character death + the cycle continues. (I like cycles, what can I say. That's probably how I ended up in the revenge cycle fandom.)

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? morning dew is fluff all the way through!

8. Do you get hate on fics? I have not, probably because I inhabit my own cozy little corner of the internet. I'm glad the fandoms I'm in are so chill.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? I used to write insane crack rpf smut fics of my friends in high school whenever they did something stupid (I distinctly recall writing something involving my friend climbing a ladder in heels in order to give another anal?? It was written in response to one of them going dumpster diving for an LED buttplug). I stopped doing this in college, but recently, I have met two idiots dear friends who have been eager to revive this old hobby of mine. Hence, blood red camellia. Among other things.

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? I do not. They've never really been my cup of tea, and also I'm lucky to have even one thought rattling around in my head at any given moment, never mind two.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I'm aware of! It'd be extremely unlikely, all considered.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Nope. I might translate some on my own at some point for practice, but that's far down the backlog for now.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? If you know, you know.

14. What's your all-time favorite ship? I'm not that pressed about ships in general tbh. I just like dissecting characters, and if someone dies in the process, all the better <3

15. What's a wip you want to finish, but doubt you ever will? Ember Knight high school AU... I actually have a pretty cohesive outline, but for various reasons it's been a difficult fic to write, and many of the main themes are no longer as dear to me as they once were. Still, I hold out hope that I'll get back around to it someday.

16. What are your writing strengths? I want to say characterization? And I guess grammar LOL. I had some stickler-ass teachers growing up, and this is probably the only thing I can thank them for.

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Hnrhg plot. Thank god I can write all the character studies I want when it comes to fandom, so I'm sure no one has noticed this tiny little weakness yet.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? I'd do it in a heartbeat if it was (1) in character and (2) I knew the language/had a friend who could translate for me, because there is nothing more embarrassing than having clearly machine-translated lines. But those conditions are so difficult to fulfill that it's never happened yet.

19. First fandom you wrote for? I wrote like... a chapter and a half of a Harry Potter fic when I was in, like, 4th grade? We don't talk about it. It's gone. I hope. I did not seriously try my hand at writing again until I got into Genshin Impact back in 2021, which is what I generally consider the first fandom I wrote for.

20. Favorite fic you've written? This one is hard... I think walk these shorelines with me is the best-executed, but I'm partial to Parallel Lines despite it not being executed quite as well as I would have liked.

It's late and I don't remember which of my mutuals write off the top of my head... I'm gonna tag @quiets-cradle, but if anyone else sees this and wants to join, feel free to! In fact, I am begging you to.

[cellard0ors]

6 and 19 for The Quarry please! Spill the fucking TEA.

6. which ship fans are the most annoying?

There's no real ship fans I dislike - simply ANTI ship fans who are so unnecessarily vocal in their dislike of Quarry ships. I'm not even just talking about Hackearney.

Yes, hackearney is the most egregious, but I've also seen people hate on the shipping of Ryan/Laura or Ryan/Kaitlyn because, apparently, Ryan can ONLY be with Dylan, never mind the fact that he's very clearly portrayed as bi!

It's insane to me the amount of vitriol spewed by a tiny subset of people who could simply block or ignore the things they don't like but instead feel the need to be vehemently nasty to people simply because they don't like something and think that, through bullying, they'll make them stop or see the error of their ways or some bullshit.

They also make THE most baseless assumptions. Like, as an example, if you do ship Travis/Laura, you hate Max. I don't hate Max. I don't find him terribly compelling, but I don't hate him.

Honestly, my least favorite character is Nick - so???

In conclusion, if you don't ship something, just live and let live - it's not hard.

19. you’re mad/ashamed/horrified you actually kind of like…

Well, well, well, WELL, WeLl!!!!!

This is a REAL rich question coming from the person whose RESPONSIBLE for the thing I'm ashamed of now actually liking!

I'm going to cut this for graphic explanations of a kink

Which is to say, female ejaculation (squirting), something I would have listed as a no-no before now, but you - ma'am - have made appealing via your fics!!!

Before you, I'd always thought of this particular kink quirk as being sorta...well, for lack of a better term, icky. Mainly because I'd caught snippets of .gifs of it where the act is taking place and it looked HORRIFYING - like, the girl shooting out like, silly string outta there - which, ew.

Now, I know you're thinking - what does that really have to do with The Quarry the Game (tm). Nothing, really, but let's be honest - THIS is the thing I'm most worked up about and I never woulda discovered I could be into it without the game and the fandom and YOU so - there's your tea!!! 😂