#the second day going through and making sure i packed what i need as well as taking out the stupid shit

[skauni]

Enemies to Lovers: Simon Riley x Reader

Part #2—Getting Along

As expected, the ride to the drop point was long. It had taken half a day. Half a day of sitting by Simon. Half a day of having to deal with his nagging about what you’re doing wrong when cleaning your gun and making sure you have a full clip of ammo in it. It was a miracle you didn’t snap his neck as soon as he started talking to you with the gun. And finally, the helicopter hovered over the ground and the team hopped out. Everyone’s boots landing with a heavy thud, the gear everyone wore slightly shifting so they all adjusted it and made sure it was secure again.

Simon smacked the back of your head as soon as you finished fixing your gear. “HEY—!” You yelled, he shrugged. “Thought I saw a spider.” He sneered behind the mask. You grumbled and glared at him. The team started moving. You and Simon were at the back to keep an eye out for any enemies that could be following from behind. A few times he snickered at you for tripping over a root. To which you responded with kicking mud at him.

When the team made camp you and Simon got first watch. You both complained about each other to one another’s faces. The next time you check your watch you see it’s already midnight. Soap and Gaz should be taking over soon. Simon watches you from the corner of his eye and subtly inches closer to you when he notices your head bobbing as you fought back the sleep threatening to consume your body. When you’re too tired to resist anymore your head goes limp and falls back. He sighs in irritation and moves your head to his shoulder so you wouldn’t wake up complaining. “Idiot.” He muttered.

When Soap and Gaz come to take over the watch they find you and Simon both sleep. Your head on his shoulder. And his head softly placed on yours. They snicker and both take a picture, but aside from that, they leave you both alone. By the time you wake up, Simon is already up and cleaning his gun. You huff and stand with a yawn, followed by a stretch to pop your sore back. You sit back down and start cleaning the dirt off your gun as well. “Let pack up and get going, can’t stay in one camp too long. We’ll be discovered by the enemy if we do.” Price said, you and Simon go to pack up your tents and thin sleeping bags.

As the team moved through the forest stealthily, you feel uneasy. Nudging Simon to stop. Which he does. A second later a gunshot rings out and you stumble, you aren’t hit, luckily. You turn and shoot back. Downing the enemy that took the shot. Simon follows quickly after and shoots to kill two others. Success. “Let’s get out of here quickly before any others come.” Price says, picking up the pace. The team follows. When they all take a moment to check over their gear to make sure they still have everything after running, you begrudgingly move towards Simon. “Thanks. For… having my back today.” You grumble. He smirks behind the mask. “Not a problem short stack.” He teases. You smack him upside the head. “Bad lieutenant.” You say. He sniggers.

When you check your gear you realize the shot that hit you broke a piece you needed for your tent. You groan quietly in irritation at this. Simon walks over and assesses the damage to your tent. He sighs quietly. “I’ll share my tent with ya. Just don’t expect cuddles. And if you snore I’m kicking you out.” He grumbled. You look back in surprise before hesitating to accept, thinking he was going to put a bug in your sleeping bag or something. “… Thanks…” you murmur.

To be continued….<3

[dragunflies]

⤯ 𝐈𝐧 𝐊𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐲 -> 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐢𝐢

Ellie Williams X Fem Reader

(tlou concept art from pt 2 art book) part 2! lmk if I should add anything specific next part, I'll work on it tonight and it should be up by tmr, I hope, maybe, I dunno. AND I KNOW THIS IS A LOT OF WORLD-BUILDING I JUST NEVER LIKE READING ANYTHING THAT IS JUST SMUT I NEED WORLD-BUILDING. TRUST THE FUN STUFF WILL BE SOON I SWEAR. Ok bye wash your hands and be safe ok love you! <3

❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❦❧❦❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❦❧❦❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧

You walk up to her, expecting to be ignored or just simply brushed off. But no, Ellie peered from the small crowd in the alleyway and turned her gaze to you. Her sight lingered on the conversation until turning her full attention to you. It almost startled you how much she suddenly cared. 

“Hey Y/n,” Ellie stated from the small collection of people, causing them all to pause their conversation. She turned her gaze to the figure approaching the small clique. “You’re the girl I have patrol with, right?”

You stood confused, “Yea?” You state, looking at the rest of her group, standing beside her, annoyed.

“Oh.” A couple of people scoffed. 

Meanwhile, Ellie looked you up and down. Her hard gaze; you could feel it looking at you. Her judgmental stare was harsh but still slight. What was she looking at you like that for?

“Uhuh,” she rolled her tongue over her teeth as she looked back up to your face, connecting her gaze to your line of sight again. “So-”

“How come Maria only chose you?” One of the crowd folk interrupted.

You froze, not necessarily knowing what to say. “Because I’m stronger than I look” No, who the fuck would say that. Going through the possible responses you could return with, Ellie speaks yet again,

“We’ll be fine.” She states, hesitantly, but still confidently.

“We?” One of the side-kicks replied the rest of the small crowd whispered to each other in response, “I know you can survive on your own, not too sure about Nurse Joy over here…” 

You scoff, your quick tongue getting the best of you, “I know what the fuck I’m doing.” You snap, stepping forward once, your pupils contracted. Don’t make this weird. 

They collectively look at each other, laughing under their breaths, Ellie, looking at them with a stone-cold stare as the collectively contain their side conversations.

“Alright, listen,” She stated, rolling her eyes and shooting the remainder of the group beside her a stern look, shutting them up. She pulled you aside for a moment, lowering her voice for a split second. Her auburn hair fell from being held behind her ear and swept into her face, she lowered her gaze, tilted her head down, and looked at you with those damned green eyes. Although you were taller than her, her personality alone made her seem like the bigger person, always, “I’ll meet you at the gate around 10:00 so we can get all of our shit together, I’ll see you then.” 

You look at her and back at the people behind her, making comments to themselves. 

“See you then.” You respond, walking off immediately. 

Ellie watched you completely cold shoulder her, leaving with honestly the lack of a response. She huffed a slight laugh before then turning back to the conversion she originally had running, returning like they weren’t even on pause.

You made your way back to your house so you could gather some loose ends before the patrol. With such a long trip it’s bound to take more than a day. The two of them should be back by morning tomorrow, but it’s best to be safe than sorry. So, you packed your bag with the necessities. Your gun, your medications (ibuprofen, Tylenol, etc), lighters, notebook, knife, ammo, all the loose ends and needs for a trip like this. 

 But as you pack more and more, you just think about those green eyes. How her hair complimented her warm skin and freckles that lingered from last summer, suited her so well. The look she gave you when speaking to you privately suddenly made you feel like butterflies were dancing in your gut. So much so that you felt nauseous. Like you were going to throw up your feelings, yet you reached for a water bottle nearby and inhaled a swig of water. You shook your head forcefully and threw your hair into a low ponytail. Your long dark brown hair swept your shirt as it fell from your shoulder. 

With the final zip up from your shoulder, you refill your water bottle, throw it into the side pocket, and grab your coat as you leave your front room. With the door locked behind you now, you have no choice but to head to the gate, to see the green-eyed girl for your excursion north. 

-

Upon arrival, it was now 10:15 am. 15 minutes past the agreed time. Of course, you were late, why wouldn’t you be? You overheard the calling for attendance of patrols for the day.

“Matthew,” says one voice. “Chris,” says the same monotone voice, “Ellie” continued the attendance, each name followed by a “Here.”

Shit, you were late. Immediately and without a second to spare, you grab your horse. It was a black bay mare you had named Challenger. So you lay your saddle on the horse, swung your back on top, and walked yourself and Challenger to the meeting circle. Grabbing your assigned rifle and scurrying to the meeting area, you begin to look around instantly at the patrols trying to spot Ellie. Then you found her build instantly. Her short and lean structure was quickly recognizable.  The way you saw her standing there looked like she was fully prepared to go out all by herself. Her body language was fed up, and her eyes fell heavy as she already appeared to be ready to be home.

“Hey.” You approached her whispering your acknowledgment. She turned her head to you but not her eyes, they were fixed on the details being played out by Jesse. 

“Why are you so late?” She asked, her gaze still fixed on Jesse.

“I was busy.” You replied curtly.

No reply.

“I want Y/n and Ellie to go to the outlook in Kelly like Maria said before.” Jesse announced, “You two will need to check up on the farm and lake over there as well, it’s another 2-hour trip from the center of Kelly.”

You both rolled your eyes. Ellie held her neck as she rolled her head and closed her eyes, groaning in anticipation of traveling such a far distance. You look over, Ellie biting her lower lip as she awaits her next task handed to her or the signal of send-off. You looked down from her green eyes and watched her soft pink lips roll around. Your face became flushed, getting blushed pink cheeks that contrasted with your pale skin. 

Fuck.          

Then, without paying attention, the announcement of the gate opening and hooves galloping away snapped you out of your trance. 

Ellie jumped onto her horse and you jumped onto Challenger. 

“Ready?” Ellie asked, looking over to you. Those exact eyes you were dreaming about earlier, looking back at you again.

Your face matched hers, “Ready enough.”

With a nod, you two were off. The galloping of hooves brought up loose dirt behind the two of you as you headed north and the rest of the patrols headed west. Soon enough the gate was nothing more than a checkpoint now, and off to Kelly, you guys went.

❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❦❧❦❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❦❧❦❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧❦❧

Taglist!:

@boobdrug , @ariariarr

Comment to be on the next tag list! xx

[themeatpit37]

SWWSDJ Mini Fic; A Little Help From Nurse Jack

❤️💛💙❤️💛💙❤️💛💙❤️💛💙❤️💛💙❤️💛💙

Content included: Gender neutral reader in second person, medical care, at home IVs, medical guidance, fluff, reader centered angst, self indulgent writing, and more

Warnings: Medical talk, Syringe talk (no physical needle to skin injection), Surgical mention, Midline discussion, vomit mention (not present day), Mentions of taking blood (Not present day), blood mention (VERY minor), And more.

I’m basing this off of memory, so it may not be the most accurate. I made this specifically as comfort for others who might be going through something similar to what I did, but this can be comforting to any and all. This story is about Jack helping his Sunshine with at home IV drip therapy since I didn’t get this type of comfort when I was going through my hospitalization and then release. So to anyone who is going through the same thing and has been looking for comfort like I was, this is for you!

❤️💛💙❤️💛💙❤️💛💙❤️💛💙❤️💛💙❤️💛💙

—————

“Sunshine, are you sure you don’t need help with that?”

You jumped at the sound of his voice, causing you to squeeze the saline injection a little too hard and getting the fluid on your hands and a little on your shirt.

“Oh shoot! Sorry Sunshine! I didn’t mean to scare you!”

Jack quickly ran over and got onto his knees, snatching up a nearby hand towel and helping you dry the spot off. He started to softly mutter to himself about how he should’ve made his presence known first before asking and worrying that he had messed the whole routine up.

“Jack, it’s no problem! It’s fine, only a little extra came out. Besides, this is just the injection to clean out my medline! No harm no foul!”

You attempted to reassure him but instead he gave you a confused look, cocking his head to the side.

“Clean out…? Then… What about these other things?”

He gestured to the equipment on the table. There were four alcohol wipe packs, the first saline injection, an IV bag connected to tubes and wires with clamps on them, a second saline injection, a few towels for any leakage, an IV stand right beside you, and a syringe of Heparin. It all looked complicated to Jack but that only made him want to help his Sunshine out more.

“Well two are for cleaning, the wipes are for the nozzle of my medline, the IV bag is antibiotics, and I think the small syringe there is a blood thinner so I don’t get clots!”

You replied as you gestured to each of the tools and injections on the table, occasionally making a hand motion to the nozzle of the midline when it was relevant.

“… Can you teach me how to do this? I want to be able to help you.”

“… Help me?”

“Yeah, help you. I mean, I already have been helping out during everything so I believe I should help here too!”

He was right, he has been helping out. From gently pulling you up from the hospital bed when you couldn’t even get up on your own from the pain of your surgery scars, guiding you through the halls of the hospital while you walked so you could get your blood pumping to avoid clotting, and even feeding you when all the IVs in your arms prevented you from using any utensils. Not only that, but he comforted you when you had to get your blood taken so they could check for bacteria in your bloodstream and refused to leave your side no matter what. It made the whole experience less scary than it would be without him. At the same time though, it almost made you feel bad how much he was caring for you, but Jack snapped you out of your thoughts quickly by placing a firm hand on your shoulder.

“Please, I want to take care of you. I want to be by your side no matter how sick you get or how much help you need! And if that means I need to learn how to use all these injections and IVs, then I’ll do it!”

Jack looked at you with the most gentle and kind yet determined gaze he could, taking his hand off of your shoulder only so he could take your hand into his with a gentle squeeze as affirmation. This made you consider his offer and decide to take it.

“… Okay Jack, I can teach you how to prepare for my drip treatment.”

He quickly switched from the sad pout to a soft smile as he got up and made his way back over to the table.

“Alright then, in that case I guess I’ll be your nurse for today!”

He chuckled to himself, making you laugh in return. It was playful and fun, something you missed during the days you spent laying in the hospital bed just hoping your pain would be over with. You decided to play along a little as you gave him direct instruction.

“Well okay then nurse, first you’ll need to pick up the first Saline injection and take off the cap. Usually I take the air out before I even begin, but you’ll need to practice on them. Just pull the plunger end back and then gently press it until the air is out. You’ll know it’s out when you see a droplet of the solution drip from the tip. Don’t forget to put the cap back on because you’ll need to do another step before injection.”

Jack picked up the syringe and twisted the cap off as instructed, pulling the plunger back and pressing onto it a little too hard which caused a bit to spray out.

“Sorry Sunshine, didn’t mean for it to squirt!”

He was worried at first before you chuckled at his reaction which in turn reassured him that it was okay.

“See? You need to be careful! Now, you’ll need to take out the alcohol wipe and rub it on the nozzle of my midline to sanitize it. Whenever you are about to inject anything into it, you need to clean it okay?”

He screwed the top back on before making his way over to you and opening up the alcohol wipe.

“So… I just need to rub it on this thing right?”

“Yes, for about 15 seconds.”

Jack carefully pinched the plastic part of the midline and carefully rubbed the end, making sure he was thorough but not too rough.

“Good, now just twist the saline injection onto it, unclamp the line, and slowly inject it into the line. Also word of advice, the midline end has a plug so you need to put a bit of pressure while twisting.”

The cap was twisted off and pressed into the midline carefully as he slowly connected the two. The clamp took a bit of prying but it eventually snapped open.

“And slowly inject…”

Jack muttered to himself as he began to push the plunger with his thumb and watched as the small strand of extra blood that had entered the medline was flushed out, cleaning out the tube. He remembered watching you do this before, so he snapped the clamp shut again.

“Good job! Now this is where the bag comes in. You see the bag with that little glass bottle full of powder attached to it? I already hooked on the wires for it so you don’t need to worry about that. However you do need to snap the little blue piece that connects the bottle to the bag.”

He was following along until the breaking part, which he responded to with a raised eyebrow.

“Are… Are you sure…?”

You nodded and watched as he pressed his thumb against the blue plastic piece, creating an opening for the bag’s fluids to leak into the bottle.

“This is the part where you need to be careful, okay? What you need to do is squeeze the bag and let the fluid inside into the bottle until it’s around 3/4ths full.”

Jack squeezed the bag, but only a few drops came out.

“Oh, don’t be afraid to squeeze harder! It’s a little hard, even for me!”

He gave a nod and squeezed the bag harder, stopping every one in a while to adjust the bag and squeezed the bag some more. It took a while, but soon the fluid had filled the bottle.

“Is that good sunshine?”

You nodded and continued,

“Yes! That’s good! Now you’ll need to gently shake the bottle to dissolve the powder in it. After that, you’ll need to turn the bottle and bag upside down and squeeze the bag so that all the fluid in the bottle mixes into the bag.”

The bottle was held on one hand and jostled around to help the powder mix with the fluid which took a while since it was kinda clumpy. The bag was then flipped upside down and Jack gave it a good squeeze, watching all the liquid disperse into the bag with much more ease than what it took to get the liquid out the bag.

“Alright sunshine, your bag is ready! What’s next?”

You picked up the IV tube and gestured to the drip chamber first as Jack hung the bag onto the IV stand.

“Well you’ll need to start by squeezing this so that the chamber fills.”

Jack quickly got to it and squeeze the drip chamber until it filled with some of the fluid before turning to you for further instruction.

“Good, now you’ll need to turn the dial flow on and undo the clip. Now I should warn you that the end will start to leak, so you’ll need to turn it back off once all the fluid is dispersed. Don’t worry, I’ll tell you when you need to turn it off! Oh and don’t forget to re-clamp!”

As you told him this, you grabbed the luer connector and a clean, dry rag so that any extra drippings wouldn’t spill everywhere. With a nod, Jack turned the dial to open and unclamped the tube. The fluid inside slowly moved throughout the tubing without any problem, passing through the dial and traveling out through the connector.

“Okay now!”

Jack turned it back off and squeezed the clamp until it clicked before looking back at you for approval, which you gave to him.

“Good job Jack! We’re almost done with the bag prep! Now before we get to plugging things in, you’ll need to flick the air bubbles out. A few tiny bubbles won’t hurt anything, but it’s what the doctors recommended.”

He raised an eyebrow at this.

“Flick the air bubbles out?”

“Yes. Here, go ahead and hold the tube.”

Jack reached over and took the tube from you to look at it only to see small bubbles floating in the fluid.

“Oh! These bubbles!”

“Yeah, You’ll need to flick them so they pop.”

He nodded in understanding and held the tube in place, gently flicking at the few bubbles that were floating around. Some popped while others just floated up. But all of them did eventually pop the more Jack flicked at them. After some time, the tube was completely bubble free.

“How’s that sunshine? Anything else I need to do?”

You nodded and gestured to the midline.

“All you need to do now is clean this and then plug the IV tube into it.”

Jack first grabbed the saline syringe before you quickly stopped him.

“With the wipes. The saline is for after the bag is empty! Plus, you need to remember you have to wipe before injection!”

He stopped and immediately put the syringe down to grab the alcohol wipes.

“Sorry sundrop! It slipped my mind!”

It was normal for someone inexperienced with this stuff to make mistakes so you didn’t get upset. Plus he was clearly trying his best.

Jack got down on his knees and wiped your midline’s tip as gently as he could, quietly counting the 15 seconds he needed to take. After that, he picked up the luer connector and looked up at you for further instruction.

“So… I just connect these two right? Just like with the injections?”

You nodded and he continued, twisting the connector to the line. Once that was done, he remembered the dial and grabbed onto it.

“It’s… 100 ml right?”

“200 ml, actually.”

“Oh sorry!”

“It’s fine! This is a lot to take in so it’s pretty normal to have to be reminded what to do!”

You reassure him, watching as he turns the dial to 200 and undoes the clamp. He then came back over to you and undid the clamp on the midline, something you yourself almost forgot about. Jack then looked up at you for further instruction, but you just smiled.

“You did a really good job! For now though, we’ll have to wait. The midline usually takes from 30 minutes to an hour or two so… you can go ahead and get back to what you were doing-“

Instead of waiting for you to finish, Jack plopped down right beside you and carefully wrapped an arm around you, careful not to get himself tangled up in the wire coming out your arm.

“And leave you to sit here all by yourself? Now what kind of friend would I be if I did that?”

Normally he would lay you on his chest or wrap his arms around your waist but you were extra sensitive from the surgery which could risk messing with the scars, so even if Jack tried to be gentle it wouldn’t be a good idea. As you two sat there though, Jack had a question.

“If you don’t mind me asking, what’s in the bag?”

“… It’s antibiotics.”

Jack paused at this, remembering the previous conversations you had with nurses and doctors while you were in the hospital.

“Didn’t they give you that stuff at the hospital though? Why are you doing it at home?”

You realized you never told Jack about it. He tried his best to respect your medical privacy since most of this information was on documents and talk about during big events like the surgery itself. Of course, you felt it was time you tell Jack more about what was happening.

“… They wanted me out the hospital as soon and possible. I also wanted to be out as soon as possible. So they figured that my treatment could continue at home if I had the right equipment. Plus there was probably someone else who needed a room more than I did.”

Jack let out a soft sigh and very carefully adjusted you so your back was against his chest, his strong arms wrapped around your shoulders and neck to avoid touching the more sensitive areas. The hold wasn’t tight but it certainly had a possessive edge to it like he was afraid to let go.

“… Are you at least feeling better now, sunshine?”

This question made you stop. Now that you thought about it, even with all the pain from fresh scars and the complete panic you’d have about the injections, it was significantly better than before. Before the visit, you remembered how much pain you were in; Constantly laying in bed, unable to move or even think about anything but the pain. This connected to other memories, mostly ones about how terrified Jack looked during your flare ups. He would always do his best to care for you, he really did, even though all he would be able to do was watch as you cried over the toilet and threw up whatever food you had or sit by your side while you sobbed out that you just wanted the pain to end. Honestly, it was a scary time for both of you now that you had time to think on it.

“I… I am. Yeah, I’m feeling a lot better now.”

Jack leaned in and gave you a kiss on the forehead, a relieved sigh leaving him as he rested his chin on the top of your head.

“I’m glad… I’m so happy to hear that you’re no longer in pain- Well at least not as much as before.”

You couldn’t help but smile at this, hugging onto his arms and giving them a soft kiss since you couldn’t exactly move around like you normally would. As you two cuddled up the best you could in your current state, a comfortable and soothing silence rose. It had been so long since you could be close like this and it was heavenly, like something you were deprived of for so long.

…..

“And… Done!”

Jack said as he finished injecting the Heparin into your midline and pinched the clamp until it pinched, bagging up the garbage left behind and tying it up

“So… What do we need to do now sundrop?”

You chuckled and helped yourself up with the help of Jack, stumbling forward a bit since you were sitting for so long.

“We’re all done, don’t need to do this again until tomorrow… However, you could always help me with something else…”

Jack turned to you with a smile and gestured for you to continue.

“Of course sunshine, what do you need?”

“Maybe you can help me wash up. Y’know… Since the doctor said I need to keep my scars clean and my midline dry.”

The way you said it was more of an invitation, one that made Jack’s cheeks turn bright red, almost as bright as his face paint.

“O-Oh!”

He quickly gain his composure and decided to turn the tables on you.

“Well we can’t have you risking slipping in there! Maybe I’ll take you up on that offer~”

—————

❤️💛💙❤️💛💙❤️💛💙❤️💛💙❤️💛💙❤️💛💙

And that there is the end! I hope you guys liked it! This is one of the works I was tinkering with for the past few weeks now! Apologies for any errors, this is kind of one of my few long works that I’m actually posting!

Oh and just in case the requester is reading this, your request is being worked on don’t worry! I just happened to be working on this before you requested your piece! Kinda stumped on it too… Especially with current circumstances… But don’t worry I should be done before the 15th of June if I can! See everyone back here soon hopefully! Bye!

❤️💛💙❤️💛💙❤️💛💙❤️💛💙❤️💛💙❤️💛💙

[jakes3resin]

Remembering I have to pack and coordinate outfits for the wedding I'm leaving for instead of writing Modern Reincarnation AU and Stalag arc in my free time now

[lokis-army-77]

Private Viewing

Camboy!Eddie Munson x fem reader

Word Count: 6.8k

What happens when your favorite camboy is in your class? You should stop watching his content... or should you? What happens when you are eventually paired together for a project? Everything will be just fine, won't it?

Warning: 18 +. This is pure fucking filth. Spit, masturbation (m and f), use of vibrators and fleshlight, choking, multiple orgasms, squirting, oral (f reviving), fingering, voyeurism? Soft!dom Eddie, tell me if I'm missing anything.

Thank you @lesservillain for giving me this wonderful idea. 💗 and @munson-blurbs for figuring out if I should do this for Steve or Eddie and for helping give me a title💗.

Masterlist

Nothing but slick sounds filled your room, the occasional deep moan calling out from your laptop speakers accompanying your own sweet cries. The guy on the screen, Ed as he called himself, or DungeonMaster as he was known on Only Fans and Twitter, was fisting his cock in his heavily ringed hand. He was putting on a show for more than ten thousand viewers but the way he stared down the camera with those dark eyes made you think he was watching you, fucking his hand to the way you were pumping your fingers in and out of your soaking wet pussy. 

You had stumbled upon his Twitter three months ago and he immediately captured your eye. The way his tattoos wrapped around his pale skin, how he wasn’t all lean muscle like the other OF guys, his tummy by no means a six-pack but he still looked strong enough to sweep you off your feet with ease. His moans were heavenly and so was the deep timber of his force as he praised you through the thirty-second video clip. It was all enough to convert you from your usual consumption of smutty books to the infamous Only Fans sight. 

Since then, his streams and videos have become the one and only thing you get off to. And like then, tonight was no exception. 

You were so close to the edge, Ed’s moans spurring you on. Your fingers move at an almost inhuman pace in and out, in and out. 

“Rub that clit for me, baby. Need you to cum.” He groaned, head resting on his shoulder as he continued you pleasure himself. 

“Fuck!” You gasp as you rub your clit with your free hand. Your rhythm is horribly off but it doesn’t matter, you are so close to cumming. So so so close. “Please,” you beg out into your empty room. You aren’t too sure why or what you are pleading for. More friction? More fingers? More words of encouragement from him? Maybe you’re asking to cum? 

It’s like he had heard you through the screen as he moaned out, “That’s a good girl. Just like that. Doing so well for me. You gonna cum baby? Yeah? Me too. Want me to count for you?” He nods his head lazily. “I knew you would baby. Okay. Five.”

You want to cry.

“Four.” 

The strings tugging inside you are becoming taut.

“Three.”

You feel like you’re going to explode. He’s counting too slowly.

“Two.”

The tears are flowing now.

“One.”

You let out a strangled scream.

“Cum baby. Do it, now.”

Your walls clench around your fingers and your legs snap shut, trapping your fingers. Every muscle in your body is shuddering as those strings snap and your release comes out in a stream, wetting your hand and the bed. Your hearing has gone, there’s a ringing in your ears but you can faintly hear Ed cumming as well. 

With watery vision and slow movements, you turn to face your laptop screen just in time to see his tattoo-covered chest painted with milky white ropes of cum. 

When the ringing subsides you hear him say more clearly, “Thata girl. Always make me cum so much.” He takes a towel and wipes off his chest and stomach before adjusting the camera view to the shoulders up. “Get you some rest baby, I’ll see you on Thursday.” 

And then the live is over. 

Slowly, sluggishly, you remove your hands from between your legs and begin the now regular clean-up routine before going to bed. 

…

Three days later, Thursday rolls around, and thus begins the fall semester of your junior year of college. It’s a groggy morning, everyone is tired and very unenthusiastic about having an 8 a.m. advanced music composition class. 

You had struggled to get out of bed at six this morning just to get one of the dorm showers first before they were all taken up. Luckily two of the five were open and you were able to get to class a whole twenty minutes early, even having time to grab coffee at the on-campus Starbucks on the way.

The music building was old and the tables you and your fellow students sat at were even older. It all added to the sleepy ambiance. Your eyes drooped and you yawned every time someone else did, the black coffee you had chugged not doing anything for you. 

You’re only awoken when your professor, a stout old man with a very severe receding hairline, slams open the door to the classroom a little too hard and it hits the brick wall, creating a loud, startling bang. 

He apologizes before making his introduction.  He then gets out a clipboard with a sheet attached and hands it off to a girl in the front row, instructing everyone to fill in their name and school email for his role sheet.

It’s only once you’ve finished and passed the clipboard on, that you notice the guy two seats down from you looks vaguely familiar. You can’t quite put a finger on it and it bugs you. 

His hair is pulled back into a messy bun and his clothes make him look like the alternative guy of your dreams back in high school. He’s got rings on almost every finger and an aura that just screams confidence. 

It begins to become a problem, your inability to place this guy's face. You’ve only taken a handful of notes the entire first hour and thirty minutes into this two-hour class. Your eyes are constantly staring at him no matter how hard you try to make yourself pay attention. 

Then, he raises his hand to answer one of your professor's questions. That’s when it clicks. Your pen falls from your grasp and your mouth forms an O. 

“Oh my fucking god. No. It can’t be.” You think to yourself but just to be sure you take out your phone, turn the brightness and volume down, and hide it under the table. You open Twitter as fast as you can and you don’t even have to look for his user, he’s the first post on the screen. 

Ed @ DungeonMaster86 was boldly displayed above a picture of the guy sitting next to you with his massive dick in his hand. 

It’s a wonder you weren’t caught with how you practically choked on thin air and began furiously looking from your phone to the guy and then back to your phone. 

Your stomach drops. You can’t keep watching his videos, can you? That wouldn’t be right. That would be weird, watching the porn your classmate makes. 

When class is finally called to an end you pack up as quickly as you can and bolt out the door to your next class, hoping that by getting away from Ed, you'd be able to concentrate. Out of sight, out of mind.

That statement turns out to be false when he is in your next class and when you spot him in the student commons talking with another guy. It's like once you made the connection of who he was, he was everywhere.

…

Arriving back at your dorm, you throw your backpack on your desk, snatch your laptop out of it, and struggle to jump up onto your bed. Never had you been so thankful for the single dorm than this moment as your curser hovered over the bookmarked Only Fans page at the top of your screen. No roommate meant no one would see the moral dilemma you were currently losing with yourself. 

‘You know him, it’s wrong to keep watching his videos.”

‘What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him though. The only way he would know you are watching is if you tell him, you aren’t going to tell him, are you?’

‘No…’ 

‘Then it’s okay, it’ll just add an extra element of taboo to his streams. Plus, he’d miss you in the chat.’

You sigh as the devil on your shoulder wins out once again, talking you into something you know you shouldn’t be. But hey, it feels good to be bad. 

Steadily, you click on his bookmarked profile and the first thing to pop up is the live stream that is currently in session. And against your better judgment, you enter the stream.

He’s only just started, people are slowly filtering in. Ed is sitting on the edge of his bed, shirt off, and a singular, ringed hand teasing himself through his black jeans. 

You breathe a sigh as he looks into the camera, eyes half-lidded, luring you in. It does the job, because in an instant your fingers are typing out a message in chat. 

Princess23: hi Ed

His eyes flicker as he reads his messages, smiling as he replies to you. "Hi, Princess. How's my girl been?"

There's a bubble of excitement at the fact that he recognizes your username, even if you've been a regular in the chat for months.

Princess23: stressful… you've been distracting me.

The reply to his question is truer than he realizes. 

"Aww, princess, is that so? You've been thinking of me?" He leans back on his free elbow, still groping himself with the other hand.

Princess23: yes. been thinking about your cock, how much I want it in my mouth. 

It's one of the less bold comments you make but it makes you blush all the same, especially now.

"Yeah? You want me to fuck that pretty little mouth? Of yours?"

Princess23: yes please

"Mmm." He hums, fingers now fumbling with the button and zipper of his jeans. 

You set your laptop to the side and start to situate yourself. Slowly taking your clothes off one by one. 

Ed replies to a few more comments before announcing that it's time to start.

He leaves the screen for just a moment before coming back with something in his hand. Smirking at the camera he shows it. A flashlight in the shape of a mouth.

"This one’s for you, Princess. Since you need my dick so bad," Ed explains. He sets it on his bed before making a show of taking his jeans and boxers off. 

As you watch, your hands roam your body. Fingers pinching and pulling at your sensitive nipples before trailing down. The light touch over your ribs makes you giggle. Then you rub and scratch at the inside of your thighs. 

Ed's moans are now coming through your speakers, you tilt your head to watch.

"Spit on my cock baby, get it nice and wet for me." He commands before spitting in his own hand and rubbing it on his thick length. 

"Your mouth looks so pretty like this, waiting, drooling for me. Need me to fill it so bad don't you, baby?" 

"Yes." You answer him breathlessly, fingers teasing around your mound. 

You watch and he sits back down on his bed, thighs spread, a hand cupping his balls and the other grabbing the fleshlight. He lets out a long, drawn-out moan when he inserts his cock into the fake mouth. 

"Fuck baby, your mouth feels so perfect." 

You can't help but whine. Allowing your fingers to finally circle your clit. 

The both of you go one like this for a bit. Him fucking the fleshlight and you massaging your clit. But then you need more, more than your hand can give you. So you reach to your bedside table, stretching at an uncomfortable angle to open the drawer and pull out the purple mini wand you kept there.

The vibrations start slow and constant as you press the toy to your clit. It pulls soft, quiet noises from you as you watch your computer screen. Your mind is blank, filled only with the pretty sounds Ed is making, the way his body looks, and the pleasure between your legs.

There are no thoughts. You follow his lead. When his hand speeds up, you kick up the vibrations, when he slows down, you turn the vibrator back to the first level. 

It's a rollercoaster, almost, taking your pleasure for a ride. The stream isn't even done yet when you feel that tight pull in your abdomen. The toy works you up fast. 

So you stop. Taking the toy away and changing positions. On your hands and knees, you hug a pillow to your chest and prop the toy up under you, keeping it standing as you push your clit down onto it. It's not even on and it's making your hips buck in sensitivity.

You turn it back on and immediately feel the slick seeping from your cunt and running down the toy. 

"Oh fuck," you cry.  Your eyes locked on the screen where Ed has also changed positions. 

He's got his own toy lying on the bed and he's laying over it. The way his leg and glute muscles contract as he thrusts into the toy has you memorized. 

He chants, "Baby, baby, baby." Over and over. What you would give to have him chanting your name instead. Like a prearranged falling from his lips, praising you, worshiping you.

The need for him grows and so does the tightness in your core. 

Reaching your hand down you turn the speed up. Your hips buck into the toy and you bury your face in the pillow. You're close.

He’s not far behind. Peering up from your pillow you can see his thrusts are sputtering. Sporadic as he draws close to his end. 

“God dammit, baby. Gonna cum in this perfect mouth of yours. Fuck. Can you swallow it like the good pet you are? Hum? The good pet I know you can be?”

“Yes.” You turn up the vibrator. “Fuck, wanna swallow all of you. Please.” 

The vibrations are becoming too much but you keep the toy pressed into you, hips shaking at the feeling of being overstimulated. 

Without warning, you cum with a guttural cry into your pillow. Body spasming, muscles twitching. You can still hear Ed moaning and the sloppy sounds of his cock fucking the fleshlight. 

With barely any energy you reach down between your heavy body and the bed and turn your toy off. You don’t even bother with your computer, too exhausted and fucked out to exit the stream. You fall asleep to the sounds of your new classmate's self-pleasure. 

…

It’s October now. The semester is halfway over and you’ve still been watching Ed, or Eddie. You learned his actual name in class when your professor called role on him by name the second week. 

Today you are being assigned a partner for the final project. You have your fingers crossed that Eddie won’t be chosen as your partner but as your professor calls out pairs, it seems luck is against you. 

You freeze when your name is called and directly after so is Eddie’s. You groan internally. How the hell are you supposed to do this? You already have trouble concentrating when he sits two seats away, what’s going to happen when he actually interacts with you?

There isn’t much time to think about that as he abruptly moves from his seat to the one directly next to you. 

“Hi.” He says, eyes bright and expectant. “I’m Eddie.” He holds out his hand for you to shake but you just stare at him. He looks at you curiously before waving his hand in front of your face. “Hello? Cat got your tongue?”

You snap out of your stupor and accept his hand, shaking it as you introduce yourself. “Sorry. I was a bit out of it.” You say, trying to play it off as you just staring off into space. 

“No problem.” He smiles. “Uh, do you want to exchange numbers so we can figure out when we can work on this together?” 

“Oh, yeah. Here,” You open your phone and push it to him with the messages app open. “You can text yourself.” 

He does just that, even going as far as putting in his contact name as Eddie with the skull and crossbones emoji beside it. 

“Great. I’ll text you when I’m free. I have work on Mondays and Thursdays, sometimes on Saturdays, but other than that I’m usually free.”

You nearly choke when you realize he’s given you his streaming schedule. “I- uh. Okay. Just text me when you can.”

"Sure thing sweetheart." He grins at you before standing, grabbing his things, and heading out of class along with the rest of the students. 

You sit there for a minute, thinking. God, what are you getting yourself into?

…

You both have finally come up with meeting times that work for both of you. Tuesday and Wednesday after seven. Giving you time to get to the school library after the closing shift at your on-campus job. 

It’s been two weeks of working together on this project and it’s been easier than you had originally thought to concentrate on the task at hand and keep your dirty thoughts at bay. 

Right now, you are both sitting in one of the private study rooms looking at Eddie’s computer as he explains why this particular cord progression would fit with the emotions you are trying to convey in your composition. 

You sigh, “Eddie, as much as I love that sound, I really don’t think it fits with the overall composition of the song. It isn’t as emotionally charged as I’d like it to be.”

“Well show me something similar to what you’re wanting.” He rakes his hand through his hair. It’s been a long night for each of you. It seems that every new section of the song you are creating for the project gives you a new challenge to work through together. 

You pull out your phone and Eddie leans over to watch as you begin to type. There is a particular song you are thinking of that has the weight and emotion you are trying to convey with your own music and as you type the first letter of the song, O, the first suggestion that pops up is onlyfans/DungeonMaster. 

Mortified, you slam your phone down on the table. Eddie looks at you with an eyebrow raised. 

“What was that?” He asks.

“What was what?” You answer. 

“Why did you slam your phone down?”

“Oh, I just forgot the title of the song.”

“Right…” He scratches under his chin and then stretches back in his chair. “Why don’t we call it quits for tonight? It’s getting late and we aren’t going to agree on anything if we’re both tired.”

A yawn suddenly comes up out of nowhere and you then realize how tired you actually are. “That sounds good to me.” You agree with Eddie and begin packing up your things. You don’t want to be with him longer than you need to be right now, even if he seemingly didn’t notice his OF user pop up on your phone screen. 

“Bye Eddie.” You wave to him on your way out the door.

Faintly you hear him call out to you, giving a goodbye of his own. "See ya, sweetheart."

… 

After your little slip, you began avoiding Eddie. At least in person, you still tuned into his streams. You bailed on the next three meetups you had planned, helping only through voice notes and text. Eddie said he understood when you said your boss was forcing you to stay late to deep clean. 

It was Thursday now and when you saw him in class he barely looked your way and you wondered if he had seen what you hoped he had not. 

You tried stopping him once your lecture was over, feeling an anxiousness creeping into your mind. Your conscience had been telling you to come clean. To explain your perversion. Let him know you watched him, that you paid to enjoy seeing him fuck into a toy or his hand. 

You called out his name and reached for his arm. "Eddie."

He turns to you. "Hum?"

You take a deep breath to ground yourself. "I wanted to say sorry for not being able to come help with the project."

"It's okay, you said you had work." He replies, unbothered. 

"No, Eddie, I didn't get held back at work. That was a lie."

He doesn't look all too surprised. 

"I've kinda been avoiding you because- well, because of what I think you might have seen on my phone that day."

Eddie stops you there. "Can this wait until later? I've really got some errands to run before work."

"Oh, uh, yeah. Sorry to keep you Ed." You had meant it as a nickname but as it came pushing past your lips it was too late to take it back. You had never heard anyone call him that outside of his onlyfans. 

You watched as his eyes widened at the name and a spark went off behind them. "I'll see you later sweetheart." The smirk he gives you isn't the usual playful one you'd seen him throw before. No, this was sinister, like he knew.

Your heart fell into your stomach as you watched him walk away, leaving you alone.

Tonight as you logged into the stream, it wasn’t to get off. It was to see if he'd show any signs of knowing you might be lurking about among the thousands of viewers.

When the video loads, Eddie is sitting in his desk chair. He's talking to the chat like he always does. There's something different in the atmosphere around him, mischief if you've placed it correctly. 

He keeps replying to comments until the clock reaches 6:10. It's time for the show to begin. 

"Tonight I have a very special treat for you guys." Eddie starts as he reaches over just off camera to his desk. "I've got the wand out." 

The chat erupts. Eddie doesn't bring his vibrator out often, but when he does, you know it's going to be a good show for every party involved. 

"I would also like to say hello to a special quest in the stream tonight." Eddie’s smirk gets bigger and your heart pounds in your chest. "Hi, sweetheart. Hope you enjoy yourself." 

You feel like you've been shot. There's a ringing in your ears and your breathing has stopped. 

He knows. Fuck. He definitely knows. You've never heard him say that pet name on camera. It's always babe or baby when he refers to the collective whole watching the stream. Eddie has only ever used that name with you.

Eddie starts up the vibrator, tracing it over his covered cock. He hums at the feeling, loud and long. 

You clench your thighs together. You tell yourself you should stop watching but you can't bring yourself to. 

'He knows." You argue with yourself.

'But he wants you to watch. Why else would he say his pet name for you? Why else would he say he hopes you enjoy yourself? He knows and he likes it.'

The devil on your shoulder makes sense again and you curse it. 

So, you watch. Intently, you watch. Your eyes never leave the screen. 

Eddie whimpers once he has his cock out of his pants. The tip is a deep purple/red color, showing how worked up he's gotten already.

He lets his head fall back, resting on his chair as he moves the vibrator down to his balls. He presses it into himself before dragging it up his shaft and to the head. 

You feel a wetness seeping into the cotton of your panties and as his legs widen, yours press together more. 

"Oh fuck. Oh fuck, sweetheart." Eddie moans, mouth open slack and eyes squeezed shut. 

You can't believe he's saying your pet name and making those noises. You wonder what he's thinking about. How you'd look sucking on his cock? Maybe what it would be like to be pounding into you, watching your cunt suck him in and clench around him. 

Eddie grits his teeth when he turns the speed up. One hand is holding the vibrator just at the frenulum while the other is cupping and squeezing his balls. 

Your thoughts are running wild and your hips have started to rock in search of some kind of friction.

He moves his hand from his balls and begins to tug on his shaft. Deep guttural moans fill the air, and the sound of them turns you on even more. 

It's not long before Eddie is bucking his cock into his hand. You can see his muscles straining in his legs as he does. 

"Fuck fuck fuck- ah fuck sweetheart, you've got me so close. Fuck." His voice is pinched. You can see the exhaustion in the furrow of his eyebrows as he pressed the vibrator over his tip, the change in placement making his hips shudder. “God, I’m gonna cum. The thought of you is gonna make me cum, sweetheart.” 

Hearing his breathy, deep, timber of a voice say that the thought of you was going to do him in had you thinking you might just cum too. No touching required, just Eddie and his beautiful noises. 

In a matter of seconds, Eddie is choking on his words as his balls go taut. He lets out a drawn-out grunt and ropes of cum begin to spurt out over his chest, covering him like a painting. He doesn’t even bother to clean himself up before he looks into the camera and says good night, chuckling when he mentions your particular pet name again. Then, the screen goes dark. 

…

Fridays are slow in the used bookshop you work at. Especially after 4:30. No one had been inside in maybe an hour? Your boss left early, leaving you alone to close down at 6. For the past fifteen minutes, you’ve been putting misplaced books back where they belong, sweeping, and tidying up anything else you see. 

Because of the usual slowness, you have your headphones on. The music isn’t loud but it does drown out the sound of the bell chiming as someone enters the building. You are unaware of the person creeping up behind you until you are suddenly turned around and corralled against the bookshelf. 

You let out an alarmed screech only for your mouth to be covered by a big, warm hand. Your headphones fall to the floor beside you as they are accidentally knocked off your head. You hear his voice then, whispering in your ear. 

“Hi, Sweetheart.” 

“Eddie-” You heave, relieved it wasn’t someone coming to kill you in cold blood.

“Did you enjoy my show last night?” He leans back, caressing a strand of hair away from your face. 

You shake your head. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” You deny. Even after you had told yourself you would come clean to him, granted that was before you knew he knew your secret. 

“You don’t know, do you? I think you do why else would my account have popped up on your search suggestions the other day?” 

Keeping your mouth shut, you refuse to answer. 

Eddie takes your chin between his fingers and moves your face to the side as he leans into you. His lips tickle the shell of your ear as he speaks again. “So… Which one of my subs are you? Hum?”

Your mouth opens but nothing comes out. 

Eddie tuts. “Don’t get all shy on me. Tell me. Now.” His tone is dominating. It’s one thing to hear it over a computer speaker, it's another when you hear it in person. His presence alone had your knees knocking. 

“I-I,” You can't help but stutter. “It’s Princess23.” You shamefully tell him your user, eyes looking anywhere but his.

He sucks in a breath. “Oh, Princess. That was you?”

He forces you to look at him and you nod your head. 

You hate that he’s making you look him in the eye, but you can see what’s swirling around deep within them. Desire, lust, dominance, but nothing mean. Nothing hurtful. 

As you watch him, you catch the minute changes in his expression. His jaw clenches and his eyes darken, a hunger taking over as he stares you down. 

“I can give you a private show if you want, baby.” He leans back in. “Right here,” He nipps at your ear lobe. “Right now.” 

“Eddie, we can’t… We’re at my work.” 

He looks around you, head swiveling to peer down both ends of the aisle. “It’s fine Sweetheart, no one’s here but us, right?”

“Yes, but-”

He cuts you off with a finger over your lips. 

“Then let me show you why the real thing is so much better than what you’ve seen online.” He doesn’t give you time to think before his lips are on yours. 

They are soft, almost pillow-like as they mold against yours. His tongue slithers its way into your mouth, tasting you, he moans when he does. 

To you, he tastes like menthol cigarettes and black coffee with the faintest hint of weed. It’s intoxicating, and addicting. You’ve only had one taste and now you won't be able to function without him.  

His hand cups your cheek and pulls you closer. Your arms wrap around his neck, fingers tugging at his hair. His body keeps you pinned to the shelves and he spreads your legs by inserting one of his own between them.

With him being so much taller than you, it only takes you barely bending your knees for you to make contact with his thigh. You are thankful when he doesn’t stop you from humping his leg. The friction of you rubbing yourself against him has the seam of your pants pressing against your clit. It’s a wonderful pressure that leaves your mind blank. 

When he pulls away, you follow, not wanting his mouth to leave yours. Eddie chuckles when you give a needy whine. 

"It's okay baby, I'll give you what you want." He coos. "But first, since you wanna get yourself off, you've got to make yourself cum on my leg."

You pout. "But Eddie…"

"Ah ah, don't complain sweet girl, you'll only make it take longer. Now get to work."

You do as he says, rolling your hips with purpose against him. He doesn't help you at all, he only provides support and kissed along your jaw every few seconds as he watches you work. 

It's harder than you thought it would be. The layers of denim dulled the sensations yet added to the tension your clit felt as the fabric rubbed against it. 

"Mmm, fuck." You gasp, fingers gripping onto Eddie’s shoulders. "M'so close. Eddie, I'm so close."

He smiles at you and he gives your body gentle touches. "That's it, Princess. Let go. Being such a good girl for me."

You moan loudly at his praise. 

"That right sweet girl, use me to get yourself off. That's it, keep going."

His words are spurring you on, your hips, although losing their rhythm and steadiness, keep going strong. Then, you feel it. That tautness in your tummy and the ache in your bones. You are so close.

"Please, Eddie. Ah- so close. Need more." Your words are short and your hips move faster. 

"What is it, baby? What do you need?" Eddie asks, willing to give you just a little.

"Kiss me again," you beg. 

He obliges. Taking your face in his hands and practically devouring you. 

The canter of your hips stalls as your body shudders against him. A sticky wetness can now be felt,  uncomfortably, between your legs.

"So good for me." He praises.

You can feel how hard he is, his needy cock prominently pressing into your thigh.

"Wanna feel you. Eddie please, I need to feel you." You're practically begging him to fuck you now.

"Yeah, sweet girl? You need me to stretch that pretty pussy on my dick? Make you feel so good, baby." He trailed his kiss down to your neck, stopping only to suck and nip at the sensitive skin. 

You nod frantically. "Yes, yes Eddie. Need you inside me."

Hands rush to unbutton pants, fingers caress bare skin, breaths hitch. You tug at Eddie's pants impatiently as he pulls your own down. The sudden feeling of cold air hitting the pool of slick between your thighs. 

You are both a whirlwind of arms and clothes and a few books falling from their shelf. Eddie’s fingers make their way to your center, exploring between your folds. 

You throw your head back, cracking it on the shelf above. "Ow," You moan out in pain.

"Careful there, Sweetheart." He gives you another kiss and moves his unoccupied hand to cradle your head.

The pain is instantly forgotten when two of his thick fingers circle your clit before pushing into your entrance.

"Mmmm- god." He feels so good inside you, fingers curling into your walls. The wet slick of him moving fills the stagnant air of the bookstore.

"You're sucking me in, baby. Pussy squeezing me so tight." Eddie rests his forehead on yours, his breath mixing with your own. "Can't wait to feel you around my cock."

Gasping in response, you buck your hips up into his hand. "More-"

It doesn't take much convincing for Eddie to pull his hand from between your legs and position his hard length at your entrance. Slowly he slips inside, meeting no resistance with how wet you are. 

Eddie pushes into you, cock stretching you out farther than you think you've ever been before. His one hand rests on the back of your head while the other pushes your shaking hand out of his way as he goes to press it against your neck.

You grasp his arm, nails scratching his skin as he chokes you. 

"Oh- oh, Eddie. Fuck me." You cry, cunt fluttering around him. 

Your words are music to his ears. His pace begins steadily. In and out at a lazy, leisurely speed. Then he picks it up, hips bucking faster and faster. 

He's giving it all to you. Everything you've dreamed of since you saw him on your Twitter all those months ago.

The head of his cock is repeatedly hitting that one spot inside of you that makes your toes curl. You can’t keep yourself up. The feelings coursing through you have your knees buckling and Eddie does a good job at catching your weight. 

He stops his movements to try and situate you. “Come on, baby, gotta stand up.” 

You shake your head. “I can’t, s’too much.” Your heart is pounding in your chest, if you even tried to stand you would just fall again. “There's a couch.” You point to the back of the store. “It’s in the break room.” 

Eddie grunts as he hoists you up in his arms and follows your directions. 

The couch is old and made of leather. It is cold on your skin as Eddie lays you down and you shiver as he rips your pants and underwear from around your ankles. Never would you have ever imagined being naked from the waist down in your work break room. 

In contrast to the cool leather, Eddie’s hands are searing hot. He grips the back of your knees, picking your legs up and spreading you out. You’re almost folded in half. 

“Jesus fucking christ. You. Are. Beautiful.” He enunciated every word. The complement has you keening and clenching around nothing. “Fuck, look at that pretty cunt. She’s gaping for me.” Eddie smiles, eyes flickering to yours before looking back to your most intimate part. 

You let out a wonton gasp when he spits, a glob of it falling right atop your parted slit. Eddie takes a hand away and grabs his cock. He rubs the tip through your folds, giving your clit a heavy tap tap tap before entering you again and grabbing the back of your knee again. 

Eddie wastes no time in pistoning his hips into yours. The new angle gives him free range of movement to fuck you fast and deep. The skin of his thighs makes a sharp slapping sound when he connects with your ass, it sets the rhythm for the song of your shared moans. 

“Pull your shirt up.” He commands and you do as he says. Lifting your shirt up and over your breasts. Eddie lets out an irritated grunt at the sight of your bra. “That too.” He puffs out and you pull it up as far as it will allow. 

Your breasts bounce as Eddie fucks you mercilessly into the couch. His eyes are shamelessly trained on them. “Fucking hell, Princess. Gimmie our hands.” 

You reach out for him and he grabs your wrists, guiding you to hold your legs back like he had been doing. With the newfound freedom of his hands, he extends them out to play with your tits.  He pinches and tugs at your nipples, making you moan in pleasure as he continues his assault. His thrusts become faster, harder, more desperate. You know he's close and you can't take much more either. 

“Eddie… Ah- Eddie-” You babble out his name. You wiggle under his hold and the harsh prodding of his cock into your cervix. The strings of another orgasm are being pulled tight. 

He growls. “I know baby, I know. Fucking cum for me. Cum on my cock.” 

Tears well up in your eyes and begin to overflow. Your body writhes, back bowing, muscles straining. You’re on the precipice. 

Eddie sees how close you are and moves a hand down between your legs, circling his thumb over your slick-covered clit. 

“Oooh- Oh fuck!” You scream. “Shit shit shit shitshitshitshit…. Ah!” 

“Louder.” He moans. “Want the whole town to hear you sweet girl.” 

“Eddie! Oh, I’m there. I’m fucking there.” You cry, fat tears rolling down your cheeks as you let go. A scream erupts from your throat. Even in your ecstasy, you can feel Eddie’s tempo shift. He’s losing speed. 

“Goddammit. I cumming too.” Eddie whimpers, sinking into you fully. His cum fills you up and you can fill you as it runs down your ass as he pulls out. 

Your body is twitching as he moves you to lay more fully on the couch. He doesn’t follow though. No. He sinks to his knees and before your foggy mind can even comprehend it, he attaches his mouth to your pussy.  

You are pliant under his touch, unable to resist. His tongue explores you and you moan in pleasure. He’s lapping up the mixture of his cum and your slick, humming at the taste the whole time. 

You choke back a sob when his tongue flicks repeatedly over your clit before he begins to suck on the already abused bud. “Eddie, please.” Reaching down you tug on his hair but he doesn’t move. “Ed-” He starts shaking his head, burying himself in your pussy. 

Another orgasm is quickly approaching. Your breathing quickens and you can feel your body trembling as he works you up, sending you higher and higher until you can’t take it anymore. Your orgasm hits you like a wave, and your body spasms in pleasure. He doesn't stop, continuing his ministrations until you finally come down from your high once more.

“Christ. You taste so good.” He says as he crawls up your spent body. Draping himself over you he places kiss after tender kiss all over your face. “Did so good for me. I’m so proud of you.” 

“Yeah?” You whisper. 

“Mhum. So proud.” He grins, the light of the room catching in the wetness covering him from nose to chin. 

Eddie cuddles into you more and your eyes close. He’s exhausted you. You both lay there in silence, content in each other's presence. Eddie eventually falls asleep, his breathing slow and steady. You don’t have the heart or the energy to wake him. You stay awake, just barely, still in awe of what happened. 

It feels like hours have gone by when you finally do shake Eddie, calling out to him softly. He stirs, grumbling as he looks up at you. 

“Eds, baby, I need to lock up.” 

He only rests his head back down between your breasts. You shake him again. 

“Eddie.” You say it a bit more sternly. “Get up and I’ll let you take me back to yours.” 

That gets his attention and he’s up and dressing himself in an instant. You on the other hand are slower, feeling the prominent ache between your legs. He has to help you pull your panties and jeans back on. 

He has to help you close the store as well, your legs weak and not trusted to hold up your body weight without crumbling to the ground. 

Never had you thought this was how this would end. Sitting in the passenger seat of your favorite camboy's car as he drives you to his apartment, grinning like the Cheshire cat as you both think of all the fun things you’ll get up to. Round two was bound to be wilder than the first. 

[wavesmp3]

young & stupid

yoon jeonghan x reader (gender neutral)

you think yoon jeonghan is crazy when he asks if you'll pretend to date him, but luckily for him you're just young and dumb enough to agree.

genre: university + fake dating au word count: 14k warnings: alcohol, profanity, some explicit content, mentions of sex, and a very american writer who says soccer instead of football a/n: posted an unfinished version of this like 4 years ago and randomly decided one day a couple weeks ago to finish it. this is the most indulgent fic i have ever written. pls enjoy my birthday gift to myself lolol

Music bursts from every corner of the run-down frat house, chasing after you no matter where you run to escape it. Bodies endlessly spill in from the patio and front entrance, a never ending revolving door of college kids just like yourself looking for some kind of release after a long week of… well, college. But unlike most times you’ve paid a visit to Soonyoung’s frat house on a Friday night, tonight you’ve already decided that you are not going to be having fun at this party.

Soonyoung begged you to come, bribing your appearance with a promise to study with you for the next math quiz. Of course the first thing he does after walking into the house with you is ditch you. But even that, you deal with. You find some friends among the crowd, acquaint yourself with some beer, and almost start to have fun egging on a brewing dance battle. But all that ends the second you turn a corner too fast and are met with a full cup of bright red jungle juice all over your white shirt.

So now, upstairs in a bathroom Soonyoung let you in to, desperately trying to wash out the stains, you make a stubborn decision to not make another appearance at a frat party for the rest of the semester which you’re positive you’ll break by the time midterms are up.

But for now, helplessly staring at your reflection in the dirty mirror, you arrive to the conclusion that this damn jungle juice stain is not coming out. You exit the bathroom into the adjoining room and start grabbing your stuff to walk home.

“Who the fuck are you?” You jump at the voice that’s joined you in the room. You hadn’t even noticed anyone entering. You stare at the figure, mouth open. “How’d you get into my room?”

“Oh my gosh, so sorry,” you apologize in a hurried voice, packing your things up impossibly faster. “Soonyoung let me in. It was just supposed to be a quick thing–Wait no, that makes it sound like we were hooking up. Which we definitely were not. I can promise you that much, lol, not Soonyoung. But no, I just needed the bathroom. Cause this dude and his jungle juice, and…” you look down at your shirt. “Anyways, I was about to go home. I didn’t even–”

“Okay, wait, slow down.” The guy cuts you off. “You know Soonyoung.”

You nod. “Uh, yeah, we’re friends.”

He steps closer, narrowing his eyes at you, and for a moment you think the guy looks a little bit familiar. “And you’re not a stalker?”

This time you squint, jutting your head forward. “A stalker?” He stares at you unwavering. You scoff. “Um. No. Of course not.”

“Oh, okay, good.” He exhales, his previous demeanor falling entirely. “Well, in that case, let me help.” He walks towards one of the dressers, pulling the drawer open to rummage through it.

“No. That’s okay. You don’t have to–”

“Let me. Plus,” he gestures towards the general direction of your shirt without looking up from the drawer, “that can’t be comfortable. And it definitely isn’t flattering.”

You’re too stunned to say anything back. You’re not sure how you’d respond anyways to what you think counts as an insult from the dude who’s also helping you. You study him instead. You’ve definitely seen him around before, but you’re not entirely sure where or when because you probably would’ve remembered someone as attractive as him. He’s tall, soft-faced with longer hair that cuts off right under his ears, and damn is he attractive. In an obvious—in your face, weak in the knees, god this man is beautiful—kind of way. Not that you notice.

“Here.” He throws a tshirt your way, and you catch it between your arms. You both stare at each for a long moment, until he jumps on his heels a little as if he’s suddenly remembered something. “My bad, I’ll turn around.”

You stare unamused at his backside. He really doesn’t think you’re going to change with him in the room does he?

And almost as if he’s reading your mind, he says: “Don’t worry, I won’t peek.” He looks over his shoulder with a crooked, mischievous smile. “I mean unless you want me to.” Your stomach throws itself out the window.

You scoff. “I’ll just change in the bathroom.” You fully expect the guy to be gone by the time you exit the bathroom, but instead he’s still there, sitting at the edge of the bed on his phone.

You clear your throat. “Thanks for the shirt.”

“Oh, yeah,” he looks up from his phone and takes you in. You swear his mouth twitches into a half smile. “It’s no big deal.

You let out an awkward half laugh, half sigh. “So, I’ll get this shirt back to you somehow. Thanks again.”

He nods, still staring at the air around your body with that sickeningly charming half smile. You turn for the door.

“Wait!” You pause, facing the boy again who is now standing up, arm stretched out towards you. He drops it at once like it was never supposed to be there. “Are you going back to the party?”

You actually laugh at that. “God, no. I’m going home.”

“Oh.” He tilts his head, and then opens and closes his mouth as if the words keep getting lost in the back of his throat. You try not to think too hard about how endearing the action is. “I can give you a ride if you want.”

You shake your head quickly. “No, that’s alright. I don’t live that far.” You live on the opposite side of campus.

He grabs a set of keys off his desk. “Let me. I wanna get out of this party too. But sadly,” he motions to the room you’re both standing in, then leans towards you a little, “I live here.”

And you know you should refuse. You know there is nothing sensical about letting this stranger, whose name you don’t even know, take you home. But there’s something about his smile and the tufts of hair falling over his forehead, something about the way he gave you his shirt that makes you say yes against your better judgment.

It turns out, leaving the party with the mysteriously nice guy, who’s conveniently hot (again, not that you’re looking), is much harder than it looks. The only plus side to getting bombarded with people wanting to talk to him, is that you learn his name: Jeonghan. And it hits you then, of course you’ve seen him around before. Well, maybe not him, but you’ve definitely seen his picture. His face is plastered over all of the university’s promotional material. Half the school has a crush on Jeonghan, the star soccer player. Unfortunately for you and your apparently impossible wish to go home, it also appears that half the school is at this party and fueled with liquid confidence.

“Hey Jeonghan,” one person in particular slurs, appearing in front of you and him magically. Yeah, you think, if I were him I’d want to get out of this party too. Then as if the stranger has come to their senses, they jump back and clasp their hands over their mouth. A blush paints itself all over their face. “So sorry. I must’ve tripped or something…” they laugh awkwardly. Jeonghan does too. You look over at him and find that he looks incredibly uncomfortable.

“It’s fine,” he tells them, holding his hands up, “I gotta go. See you around though.” And Jeonghan’s turning on his heel ready to dash for the door.

“Wait a second!” The person calls, grabbing Jeonghan’s arm before he can slip out of the house. He turns back around begrudgingly. “I was uh I was sort of wondering if you’d like to maybe go out or something—“

You watch them ask out Jeonghan on a date, and well, it’s sort of cute. The stranger clearly harbors a massive crush on Jeonghan. They’re not being rude or pushy, and honestly, even after accounting for the alcohol, they’re more confident and bold than you’d be. You find yourself wanting to congratulate them. But then, with another look at Jeonghan’s face, you feel a burst of pity. You know that look. Jeonghan is going to turn them down.

“I, uh, I’m really flattered but I…” Jeonghan stutters through his words, shooting you a glance asking for help. You just shrug. Suddenly his smirk reappears. He grabs your hand, pulling you to his slide and lifting your joined hands up like a trophy. “I’m actually with them.”

Your teeth clench immediately to keep your mouth from falling open. You stare at Jeonghan, eyes screaming.

“Oh sorry,” the person looks between the two of you, “I didn’t know.”

You stare at Jeonghan, waiting for him to say something and failing to find any words for yourself. But instead of continuing his lie verbally, he decides to act it out even further, bringing your hands up to his lips and pressing the faintest kiss to your knuckle.

That fucker.

“Yeah,” you sigh, grasping at straws for something to say that sounds convincing with your one free hand. “It’s new.” You squeeze Jeonghan’s hand hard enough to know it has to have hurt and promptly drag him out of the house.

Once you’re in his car, safe from all his suitors. You round on him. “You couldn’t have just said no?”

“That was their third time asking me out.”

“And?”

“Turning down people is hard.” He whines, pushing the keys in the car and starting the ignition. “It was just easier to say we’re dating. Plus, you’re in my shirt so it already looks like we just had sex.”

“Or,” you gasp, exasperated, “it looks like I got jungle juice on my shirt, and you just gave me one to wear!”

He gives you a look. “Now, who would believe that?”

You have the sudden desire to dissolve into the seat.

“Anyways,” he says, putting the car in reverse, “where to?”

“East campus. The Austin Complex.”

He makes a triumphant noise while stopping at a red light. “It appears I’m not the only one that’s been telling lies tonight. Not that far you said.”

You gape at him. “My lie is not comparable to yours.”

“Actually I think it is.” He taps a finger to his chin. “In fact, I think it even makes us equal.”

“No, it doesn’t.”

He holds out his pinky as a peace offering. “I’m not moving until you agree.”

“Jeonghan, the light’s green.”

He glances at the green traffic light and proceeds to turn his hazards on in the middle of the fucking road all while keeping his pinky in the exact same spot.

“Are you crazy?”

“Most people don’t think so.”

“People will honk.”

“It’s 1 am.”

You say his name. He says yours. The light turns yellow, and you feel a rush of warmth.

“Fine.” You huff, joining your pinky with his. “We’re equal.”

He passes the light just as it turns red.

—

You haven’t seen Jeonghan since the entire incident. In truth, you’ve been so busy studying for your math quiz with Soonyoung that you almost hadn’t even thought about that night again. Emphasis on almost. However, when you get your score back the following week, the hours you spent studying appear to have been wasted. You slump into a bench outside the lecture hall, holding another barely passing grade to your chest.

And in the midst of your public wallowing, you feel a flick to your forehead.

You yelp and snap your eyes open to Jeonghan who stands before you snickering. “What was that for?”

“Payback.”

You say holding out your pinky as a reminder. “I thought we were even.” He shrugs, sporting a smirk that makes your stomach churn. It should be illegal for someone to look that good with a smirk.

“Excuse me?”

Fuck. Did you say that outloud?

“Nothing.” You quickly mutter, shaking your head. He invites himself to sit down next to you.

“Anyway, what’s wrong with you?”

You groan at the reminder. “Multi.”

“Multivariable calculus?” He asks to which you nod. “Who do you have?”

“Lubinsky.”

Defying all laws of reason and physics, Jeonghan perks up a bit. “Oh, I loved him.”

“His quizzes are impossible.”

“Yeah, but he’s funny.”

You scrunch your noise. “When did you even take multi? Aren’t you a business major?”

He tilts his head at you. “How do you know my major?” You might’ve asked Soonyoung about Jeonghan during one of your study sessions, but you definitely weren’t about to admit that now. Luckily for you, he continues without an answer. “I switched majors last year.”

“Then you must know how much I despise sketching in three axes.” You complain, throwing your head back against the wall.

“Just wait until you get to finding extrema.” Jeonghan hums. You want to shove your head through the damn wall just from the sound of it.

“May my grade rest in peace in that case,” you mutter, fishing through your bag. “Here’s your shirt back.”

He takes it. “So people kind of think we’re dating after the party.”

You can’t help it. You laugh at the look on his face. “Yeah, what did you expect when you said we were together?” He doesn’t say anything. “Don’t worry. I’ll clear the air.”

He furrows his brows at you. “What? No. That’s not what I mean. I…” he hesitates, scratching an area behind his neck. “Well, this past week has been surprisingly calm for me. Not a ton of confessions.” (“Oh, poor Jeonghan,” you murmur.) He looks at you hopefully, “So, I was thinking we keep up the charade.”

You make a noise. “Like fake dating?”

“Yes.”

“Haha, very funny.”

“No, seriously.” He says earnestly. You don’t say anything for a moment just staring at him flabbergasted. He softens, giving you a very soft, “please,” paired with big, brown, pleading eyes.

Goddamn it–those eyes.

You turn your body towards him. “What do I get out of it?”

“I’ll tutor you.” He says, pointing to your quiz grade. You flip the paper upside down. “I got an A in multi.”

“No one makes an A with Lubinsky.”

“Which is exactly why you want me as your tutor.”

You think about it for a moment longer, and, well…

Fake dating Yoon Jeonghan can’t be the worst thing in the world.

—

As you find out during your first session, Jeonghan is not what you’d call a ‘chill’ tutor. You’re both sitting in a far corner of the library, notes splayed out all over the table.

“Do it again.”

“Jeonghan please, we’ve been finding directional derivatives and unit normal vectors for so long now. Let’s take a break.”

He points to your worksheet. “One more.”

“That’s what you said last time.”

“I thought you wanted an A.”

“You know, a C isn’t sounding so bad right now.”

“Just do it.”

You groan and set up another integral.

To your complete and utter shock, you’re able to solve the problem all on your own. No clarifying questions to Jeonghan. No flipping through your lecture notes. Just you and the answer.

Jeonghan checks it over, eyes darting between your notebook and his laptop. He pauses for a minute, finger lingering by your boxed, final answer, before very quietly saying, “look at that.” He looks up to you, eyes widened and lips pursed together in a pleasant surprise.

You can barely contain yourself. “It’s right?”

“Well,” he draws out the word, sitting back in his chair and erasing his previous expression. “You still rounded wrong at this step—“

You throw your pencil down. “I’M RIGHT!”

Which unsurprisingly earns you a couple dirty looks from others.

He snickers at your excitement, offering you silent applause at the achievement.

“So can we take a break now?”

He looks at you for a long moment. You stare at him back, shaking your shoulders as if that would convince him of a break. He smiles. “Okay, fine, but only for ten minutes.”

You end up taking it on the roof of the library building, eating an assortment of snacks that you bought from the vending machine and Jeonghan brought from home.

“So, tell me,” you start, grabbing a chip from the bag, “the confessions can’t really be that bad, can they?”

“How do you mean?”

“I mean,” you sit up in your chair, stretching out your back, “enough for you to spend your Thursday afternoon doing all this?”

“Ah.” He exhales, sitting down further in his seat and popping a grape in his mouth. “Well, I like to teach.”

“And what about the whole fake dating ruse?”

He shrugs. “It’s easier than being the asshole that says no.”

You lean forward, squinting at him. “I don’t believe that.”

He cocks his head. “No?”

You shake yours. “No.”

“What about you then?” He asks, crossing his arms over his chest. “How come I know nothing about you?”

“How come you haven’t asked?”

He swipes his tongue over his lips briefly, sizing your question up. Quietly, he says, “Touche.” Then leads forward in his seat and asks if you have an ex.

You steal a grape. “Not an official one.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means that there was this guy before university, and we were…” you push the grape in your mouth, letting the burst of it give you time to find the right words. They never come. “We were something,” you settle on, “but he just ended up being more trouble than he was worth. Ask Soonyoung. He’s always hated the guy’s guts.”

“I can’t imagine Soonyoung hating anyone.” Jeonghan muses, pushing the tupperware of grapes towards you.

“Yeah, well, Soonyoung hated people who treated others like they were disposable.”

“So why’d you date him then?”

For a moment, you’re taken aback by the question. Replaying the words over and over in your mind looking for a hint of mockery or judgment. You don’t find any. Instead, you find his brows knitted together, and his lips pushed to the side of this mouth. The question is genuine. A wholehearted curiosity that feels so misplaced coming from the guy who has suitors falling at his feet at least once a day. It’s an innocent kind of curiosity that isn’t trying to pry; it’s only trying to understand. And that thought, the very idea that Jeonghan might actually be trying to get to know you, makes your entire body inexplicably shiver.

The curiosity in his voice bends over and touches yours. “What? You’ve never been young and stupid before?”

He shakes his head. “I was so focused on school and soccer when I was younger. I feel like I never gave myself the chance to just do dumb things, date shitty people, etc. etc.”

Gravely, you say. “It’s really not that exciting.”

He laughs. “I know.” His voice dips. “I just wish I had figured that out myself.”

Jeonghan doesn’t meet your eyes when he says it, but he makes this face, this sad-eyed, forced smile face that makes him look so suddenly vulnerable. Like you could tap his shoulder and watch him unravel from head to toe. You feel a rush of pity in the middle of your chest, a quiet urge to reach over and give him all the teenage regrets he never got to have. Instead, you lean towards him and say, “You’re still young. You can still do dumb things. Date shitty people.”

His eyes flit up to you. You notice what a beautiful shade of brown they are. How big they are. How sincerely sad they look. (And you know, somewhere, in a very far corner of your mind, that those eyes will be the ultimate death of you.)

“Well, I don’t know about that last part.” He starts, rubbing his hands against his jeans. “Technically, I’m dating you.”

You place your palm on your chest. “And I swear to be the shittiest fake partner you’ll ever have.”

He smiles. The sun emerges from behind a cloud. And his eyes–you swear to god–they glimmer.

—

You and Jeonghan’s first outing as an official fake couple is back at the frat house. To your surprise Jeonghan stays by your side the entire time. He takes you around the house, gets you a drink, and introduces you to his friends, but you’re quick to shoot down any shock because what else would a fake boyfriend be doing at a party. Although it’s not as easy to calm down the beating of your heart when Jeonghan’s hand finds its way into yours at some point in the night. By the time the party is in full swing, people bursting from every open door and window in the house, you’re already a little tipsy.

You’re getting a refill for your nearly done drink when another girl appears in front of Jeonghan. From the way she’s twirling her hair between her fingers and leaning into one hip, you can tell that, at least from her end, it’s more than just a friendly conversation. But even that doesn’t really explain what makes you act the way you do. Maybe it’s the alcohol, you reason. Or maybe the fact that Jeonghan’s popularity is just as contagious as the rest of him. Or maybe, just maybe, it’s that you’ve gotten a little too invested in this whole fake dating act. Either way, you swallow reason with the last of your drink, strut up to the both of them, and latch yourself to Jeonghan’s side, letting your arm wrap around his. You give the girl a snotty ‘sorry, he’s taken’ before dragging Jeonghan away, giggling into your palm with no intention to return. When you look back at Jeonghan, you find him looking quite amused as well.

“That was good!” He tells you by the time you’re both in the hallway. “But you know what would really seal the deal?”

You’re excited. Fake dating is fun. “What?”

“If we kissed?”

“Oh, please.” Your eyes do a drunken loop de loop. “I’m gonna go get my refill.”

“No, seriously.” He says with a look you can’t quite comprehend. “Look. She’s still watching.”

You look beyond his shoulder and sure enough, the girl is still watching you and him in the hallway. And she looks pissed. Maybe Jeonghan wasn’t that far off with the stalker accusation.

“You see what I have to deal with. Just one kiss. We probably won’t even have to do it again after this.”

“Probably?” You echo.

“Well, yeah, I can’t make any promises.” He shrugs except that you barely hear the words because you’re too focused on taking a tiny step back each time he takes a tiny step towards you. Eventually, the charade ends. Your heel and head meet the wall. His knee meets yours.

You’re painfully aware of your own breathing when you say, “When I said to be young and stupid this is not what I meant.”

He giggles in your face. You can smell the vodka on his breath. Is he drunk? Are you?

“Who’s going to believe we’re dating if we never kiss?”

And well, you can’t really argue with that logic. “Fine, but keep it short.”

He cocks his head to the side. “Do I look like the kind of guy to keep a kiss short?” You snort at that, and when he takes yet another step closer to you, your hands instinctively fly up against his chest. He tangles his fingers between yours and pulls your hands down, resting his forehead against yours. “Hey,” he says except that he’s so close it’s more like he exhales the word and inhales you, “can I kiss you now?”

He lets go of your hands, as if he’s making sure you know you have an out. Your eyes flit up to his, only to find that he’s watching your lips.

“Oh, fuck it,” is what you say before you fist his shirt and pull him in so that his lips meet yours.

And the moment you do all of your previous precautions are thrown out the window because—dang how long has it been since you’ve kissed someone?

Somewhere along the kiss, you lose yourself in the sensation of it, tugging on Jeonghan’s shirt. He wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you in until your bodies are flush against each other. And when he slips his tongue into your mouth you tell yourself you allow it to happen because you’re tipsy or touch starved or both. Although none of those excuses explain why your arms snake around his neck and why your entire body turns to jelly when he moans in your mouth.

“Hey lovebirds,” you hear Soonyoung yell from somewhere thousands and thousands lightyears away, somewhere so far away you barely hear it, “get a room.” You both pull away from the kiss, faces only moving a tiny bit apart. Neither of you try to remove yourselves from the other's arms. He smiles, wide enough that his cheek brushes up against your nose, and it makes you forget where you are. Your ears betray you. You let yourself think he’s talking about the kiss and not the charade when he says, “Thanks for that.”

You throw caution to the window, laughing freely against his face. “Asshole. You knew I wouldn’t say no.”

He steps back, pulling away from your embrace. “Yeah,” he mutters, looking back to the main room, “that should do it.” You follow his eyes to see the girl from earlier whispering to a friend while sneaking glances at you two. You’re reminded of the whole reason you and Jeonghan were kissing in the first place.

He points to your cup. “Shot?”

You laugh—or well at least you try to—but it gets caught in your throat and distorted into a small cough. You swallow. “Yes.”

—

Thankfully, things aren’t awkward between you and Jeonghan after the party, although there’s no real reason for there to be other than the fact that you agreed to fake date him without really thinking about what else it would implicate. In fact, things are sort of easy with Jeonghan. He finds you around campus more often, and you find him too, walking each other to class and grabbing coffee when you both have a spare moment. In the midst of getting a fake boyfriend, you also get a new friend. With Jeonghan’s help, you actually start understanding math enough to complete the homework without having to flip back to the textbook every question. And it’s not too long after the party that you’re planning your next outing as a couple.

—

The stands of the field are absolutely packed with people. You had no idea soccer games rallied this much interest at your school.

“We’re playing a top ranked school apparently,” Soonyoung reads off a sign as you both make your way towards the student section. Luckily, he knows as little about the sport as you do. “So, why exactly did you agree to fake date Jeonghan?”

“He’s tutoring me in multi.” You explain to him, scanning the stands. While walking over to the game, you had told Soonyoung about the whole act, confirming what he already started to suspect when you first suggested going to the soccer game together. (“Drunken makeout I get.” Soonyoung had said. “But going to his games seemed like a stretch.” You shoved him off the sidewalk.)

“At least you’re getting something out of it.” He snorts. “Who are we looking for?”

You show him the text from Jeonghan, telling you to sit with his friend. “Do you know him?”

Soonyoung looks into the crowd. “Him?” He asks, pointing to a guy waving you and him over. You inhale sharply, waving back. “So if it’s fake, why is Jeonghan having you meet his friends?” Soonyoung asks as you head over.

“He has his reasons.” You offer, having asked a similar question yourself. You reach the stand where his friend is seated, crossing past the others in the row and gently apologizing as you bump into dozens of knees.

“Hi, I’m Joshua.” Jeonghan’s friend introduces himself as you and Soonyoung take your seats. You return the greeting, introducing yourself to him. Looking around the student section, you notice everyone else dressed in school merchandise. “Was I supposed to wear school colors for this?”

Soonyoung gives you a long look. Then just laughs in your face.

“Asshole.” You grumble quietly. “Could’ve said something.”

Joshua laughs as well, although much less in-your-face than Soonyoung’s. “I’m surprised Jeonghan didn’t give you like a jersey to wear or something.”

You had meant the asshole in question to be Soonyoung, not Jeonghan, but you don’t really have the heart to correct him. Instead, while waiting for the game to start, you ask, “How do you know Jeonghan?”

“Oh, we met freshman year. We both rushed the frat together, but I dropped after one semester.” Soonyoung pops in then, telling Joshua about when he rushed, and the two boys talk about other people they both mutually know. As one does.

They run out of people after a person named Jihoon. Joshua turns back to you. “How did you and Jeonghan meet? I haven’t even gotten the full story yet.”

“We met through Soonyoung, technically, I guess. At the house during a party. Soonyoung let me into his bathroom.”

Joshua nods, and with a playful lilt adds, “not a stalker, are you?”

You click your tongue against the roof of your mouth and turn back to Soonyoung on the other side of you. “I hope you know I’m never beating the stalker allegations because of you.”

Soonyoung smiles smugly at you.

“No, I’m kidding,” Joshua says through a laugh hidden behind his palm. “I just know how paranoid Jeonghan is about that stuff now.”

The wording pokes at a corner of your mind. “Now?”

Joshua nods, solemnly almost. “He actually had one last year. Didn’t end up being anything seriously endangering luckily. But he barely left his dorm for the rest of the semester after all was said and done.”

You think back to your conversation with Jeonghan on the roof of the library. You feel a familiar pang of pity bloom in your chest. He never got to just be young. Outloud, you hear yourself saying, “stupid.”

Joshua leans towards you. “What?”

You wave it off, and the crowd erupts into cheer. Everybody starts standing up, yelling and jumping and whooping. You hesitate for too long obviously. Soonyoung pulls you up by your arm. You see the team rush the field and the crowd gets impossibly louder. You look for Jeonghan among the players scanning each of them until you find him towards the left side of the field, warming up or something. You’re not really sure. Either way, you hear yourself start cheering when you find him, hands cupping around your mouth. The game starts soon enough with Joshua explaining to you and Soonyoung which position Jeonghan plays and what the hell is happening each time a player receives a card. After the first 15 minutes, you actually get a pretty good understanding of the whole thing.

The first half comes to a close with the opposing team up by one goal and Jeonghan’s team looking exhausted and dispirited.

“Hey, I gotta head out.” Soonyoung tells you once everything has settled down for halftime. “Still have to finish that chem lab due tonight.”

You grimace at the reminder of the report. “Good luck. It took me 5 hours.”

He gives you a miserable thumbs up. Then, turns his attention to Joshua. “It was nice to meet you.”

Joshua returns the sentiment. “I’ll see you at Tim’s once you’re done with the report though, right?”

Soonyoung’s lips turn to a fine line. “I, well, it’s a funny story but uh…”

“He’s banned from Tim’s.” You finish for him.

Joshua does not hide his shock. Soonyoung just shrugs and walks off. Joshua turns to you, exasperated. “But it’s the only bar in town.”

You inhale, “And Soonyoung is the type to get impulsively banned from it for the rest of college.” The answer doesn’t seem to do much of anything for Joshua’s profound confusion. “What’s at Tim’s tonight?”

“Oh, the team always goes there after games. They normally invite some friends too. Whoever can make it out basically.” You nod at his explanation, watching as people leave the stands then return, holding steaming, paper cartons of food. God, that smells good. You crane your neck to see. Are those corn dogs? “Did Jeonghan not tell you about it?”

“What?” He pulls you out of a trance of your own. “Oh, yeah, yeah. I think he mentioned it. I probably just forgot.”

Joshua chuckles politely. “So are you coming?”

Oh crap. “Uh, well…” A million lies run through your mind, chasing past one another, zigzagging in your brain. You have homework. You have other plans. You and Jeonghan aren’t even actually dating. Well—a million lies and one truth you guess. Either way, they all fizzle to nothing. Jeonghan didn’t tell you about the tradition at Tim’s. He probably doesn’t even want you there. So what the hell are you supposed to tell his best friend?

Luckily, you never have to figure that out. Fanfare erupts through the crowd, the announcer sounds throughout the entire field. “Oh the game’s restarting,” you mutter. Joshua is either genuinely disinterested in your response or just polite enough to not ask about it again. You have a crummy feeling it’s the latter.

The second half of the game is much more intense than the first. Your school’s team comes out blazing, scoring a goal in the first ten minutes in an insane effort led by the player with a 7 on his back. And the crowd, you included, absolutely lose their shit. You’re jumping up and down on the stands, screaming at the top of your lungs, voice lost among the rest. The team rushes to the right corner of the field closest to the student section, colliding in hugs and jumps and screaming maybe even louder than the hundreds of you in the stands. You watch Jeonghan in the celebration, hair matted down with sweat, mouth ajar in a soundless cheer, embracing a teammate before ditching him to literally jump on top of another. Your yells turn to laughs. And before you know it, the game is back on, all players racing across the field in a mad dash. The ball goes flying. Penalty cards flying to nearly every player at least once. The entire student section is at the edge of their seats. Time seems to fly by with unified chants filling your ears and throat. There’s only 10 minutes left. The game is still in a tie, and you really don’t feel like sitting here for the extra time. Then, someone starts singing the school’s fight song. Eventually, the whole section is singing it. You included. It ignites something in the team.

The opposing team has the ball, dribbling it across the field and passing it back and forth. Out of nowhere, one of your school’s players appears right next to the opponent with the ball. He kicks the ball out from under the other player, taking him and the rest of the stands by surprise. The ball rolls from under his knees to another of your school’s players. Jeonghan’s teammate is in action immediately, sprinting away with the ball to the opposite side of the field, feet flying faster than your mind can even comprehend. And just as one of the opposing team’s members closes in on him, he punts the ball in the air and it flies and flies and flies. Your heart lurches. There’s no mistaking it–the ball is aimed for Jeonghan. 7 minutes left. Jeonghan receives the ball perfectly, immediately racing away with it towards the goal. An opponent chases after him, forcing him to head nearer and nearer to the touchlines. It all happens so fast. The other player kicks his feet out to steal the ball. Jeonghan crosses the ball over to another teammate. The teammate receives it with his head. He dribbles it forward for half a second and then shoots. Time nearly stops when he does. The goalie throws their entire body to block the ball, and every present body watches, stupefied, as the ball blows right past the goalie’s head and lands squarely within the goal.

And if you thought the previous goal’s celebration was loud, this one’s is deafening. The entire stadium roars in pride. Your school won. Jeonghan won. And you can’t stop fucking smiling.

—

Joshua convinces you to wait for Jeonghan and the rest of the team at Tim’s with him. You do. For matters of fake dating but also because you could really use a beer. Conversation with Joshua is fun and light. By the time you’re both on your second round, his politeness dims to tease you for your drink of choice. You see now why he’s one of Jeonghan’s closest friends.

There’s commotion towards the entrance. You turn your heads towards it and watch Jeonghan’s team rumble through the tiny door, yelling at god knows what and rushing to the bar.

Joshua stands to go say hi. You follow him, walking slightly behind. Jeonghan finds you before you both find him. He tackles Joshua first, hugging him from the side, and literally ‘whooping’ into his ear. Joshua smacks at his face at first, but eventually joins him in the repeated ‘whooping’ jumping up and down in celebration. Then Jeonghan sees you. The whooping fades. He stares.

You swallow.

“Yah!” He exclaims, releasing Joshua and pointing a finger at your shirt. “I thought I told you to wear the jersey I gave you.”

Your face drops. Whatever happened to ‘hi’, ‘hello’, ‘how are you’?

Joshua says something about the bathroom and walks to the back of the bar.

You shake your head at the remaining boy. “It’s a little bit concerning how good you are at lying, you know.”

“Well, we can’t have people suspecting us.” He retorts, stepping closer to you as someone passes behind him.

“Is it okay that I’m here?” You ask, quiet enough for no one else to hear, face scrunching. “I didn’t know what to say to Joshua earlier, but I can definitely make up a lie if you want to just–”

“Are you kidding?” He grabs you by the shoulders, shaking you back and forth. “I want you here! We have to celebrate. This was the biggest game of the season, and we won it!” Then, with that same crooked smile you noticed upon first meeting, he adds, “Plus, you’re not very good at lying.”

You scoff. “Even now, you have the capacity for assholery.”

His eyebrows zip together. “I don’t think that’s a word.”

“It could be.”

Someone pats Jeonghan on the back, handing him a drink. Jeonghan asks what it is. The other person tells him to just drink it. Jeonghan does so begrudgingly. You recognize the person to be player number 7.

“Hi, I’m Seungcheol,” number 7 says to you, holding out his hand. You shake it, introducing yourself and congratulating him on the game.

“Hey, is assholery a word?” Jeonghan asks his teammate, watching your face contort through a thousand different variations of annoyance and disbelief.

Seungcheol looks between the two of you. “Uh, no. Don’t think so.”

“Ha!” Jeonghan wags a finger in your face. “You owe me a drink.”

You narrow your eyes at him, but you head towards the bar with Jeonghan anyways, where you find Joshua again ordering the three of you a round of shots. “No, no,” he insists, when you try to tell him that you’re already buying drinks, “I owe Jeonghan a drink anyways.”

And as you find out throughout the course of the night, apparently every other patron at Tim’s owes Jeonghan a drink. You lose count of how many times you’ve heard him say so after your third beer. Joshua makes his exit soon after that and conveniently right before the team starts singing the fight song again. You start dreaming of bed when a guy you recognize as number 3 gets on a chair and starts leading the crowd.

Your phone buzzes.

Soonyoung [1:23 AM]: finished the report :0

Soonyoung [1:23 AM]: finally

Soonyoung [1:24 AM]: how’s tim’s

You [1:24 AM]: did you know they had a karaoke machine?

Soonyoung [1:25 AM]: do you not remember how i got banned in the first place

You [1:25 AM]: sore subject mb

You [1:27 AM]: damn how’d you finish the report so fast

You [1:27 AM]: you only started it after the game right

Soonyoung [1:28 AM]: u know me xD

An odd feeling settles in your stomach as they start the last stanza of the fight song. You shove your phone in your pocket and ask for the check.

By 2 am, the celebration is finally winding down, and the entire team is collectively too drunk to stand. “Come on, Jeonghan,” you pull him away as he says goodbye to his friends for the millionth time. “Let’s go home.”

He finally relents, turning away from his friends and throwing both his arms over your shoulders, hugging you from the back. “Let’s go to yours.”

“Mine? Why?”

“It’s closer.” Then after a moment, he bumps his chin against your shoulder and adds, “Plus, I wanna see your room.”

“Fine,” you huff and start walking. Jeonghan releases himself from your back, electing to walk on his own until you realize he’s too much of a wanderer to be unattached, drifting off to the edge of the sidewalk or in the wrong direction every chance he gets. He asks you to carry him. You settle for holding his hand. The two of you walk quietly back to your dorm. That is until Jeonghan starts humming the fight song again. You snap. “Is that the only song you guys know tonight?”

He stops humming and apologizes. You don’t say anything back. Then, very quietly, sounding so infuriatingly innocent, he says, “I didn’t mean to get this drunk.”

You’re an asshole. “No. It’s okay. You’re okay. I’m just a little… upset right now.”

He burps. “Because of me?”

The look on his face when he says it pulls a laugh from between your lips. “No. Not because of you.” You make a right onto your street, dragging Jeonghan along as he tries to take a left. “Anyway, I thought student athletes weren’t supposed to drink.”

“No, we’re not supposed to get caught drinking.” Jeonghan holds out his hand in front of him, as if to say ‘stop’ to something invisible to you. “Very different.”

“Ah, I see.”

“Either way, I don’t drink that much.”

You scoff, stopping in front of the door to your building. “What do you mean? You drank last weekend.”

He shakes his head. “That was a special occasion.”

“And the occasion was…?”

He looks you dead in the eye.

“You make me nervous.”

Then, he turns around and vomits into the bushes behind him.

Once you get him to your apartment and in your bathroom, you leave him to vomit out the alcohol. Returning after the retching sounds recede and you’ve changed into pjs. He’s seated on the floor beside the toilet, eyes closed and head resting against the wall. You sit on the other side. Thank god, you cleaned this bathroom yesterday. “How do you feel?” You ask him.

He inhales. “Much better now that I…” He gestures to the toilet.

“Here.” You hand him a glass of water.

He opens his eyes and takes it, drinking from it slowly. “Sorry I got so drunk.”

“You already apologized 30 times on the way up here.” You remind him.

“But I’m really sorry.”

“And I really don’t mind.”

He considers that for a long moment. “You sure?”

You lean forward. “I’m sure. More water?”

He shakes his head, wordlessly eyeing your pajama pants. You look down at your snoopy pants. You hadn’t thought too hard about your choice of bottoms when you changed. “Cute.” He mutters, smiling at them.

You mumble back a ‘thanks’.

“So, what’d you think of the game?”

You tell him honestly how much fun you had watching them play, giving him every reaction you had to every move made and all your unfiltered opinions on the refs. He listens intently, filling you in on all the thoughts that ran through his head while they were playing and every conversation that happened on the sidelines.

“Thanks for coming.” He tells you once you’ve both exhausted all opinions relating to the game itself. “And for meeting Joshua and coming out to Tim’s afterwards and then getting me out of Tim’s too.”

“Jeonghan, it’s really not that big of a deal. And Joshua was a lot of fun to hang out with.”

“Hey, don’t get too attached.” He warns. “I’m the one you’re fake dating.”

“Trust me, I know.”

“So, then, as your fake boyfriend,” he gulps down the last of the water, “are you going to tell me what you were so upset about?”

You exhale, flexing your fingers. “It’s stupid.”

“And here I was thinking we had made a pact to be young and dumb.” You run your tongue over your top row of teeth, holding back a smile. “So, what happened?”

“I just got this text from Soonyoung that he finished this one assignment. And, I don’t know, I just felt so ridiculous because it took me so much longer than him to do.”

“Which assignment? The chem lab?”

You don’t remember telling Jeonghan about it. “Uh, yeah. How did you–”

“Man, who cares if it took you longer? I know Soonyoung, and I know you, and I bet yours is a million times better than his. No offense to Soonyoung, but I’m pretty sure he’d agree anyways.”

“Okay, you’re drunk.”

“That may be true, but it has nothing to do with the fact that you’re brilliant.”

Something about the way he says it, how steady his voice is maybe or the way he refuses to look away, forces you to see how much he believes it. But even that, doesn’t do much to change what you think.

“What are you talking about? I wouldn’t even be passing multi if it weren’t for you.” Your voice cracks as you say the words, making it all come out sounding much sadder than you had intended it to. You hope he doesn’t notice.

“That’s really not true.” You can’t even trust yourself to respond to him. He pouts. “Are you upset again?”

“A little.”

“I’m sorry. Let’s drop it.”

“Gladly.” Then, after a moment, you laugh at how silly it all is.

“First fight of the relationship.” He gives you your second half smile of the night. “I think we should hug it out.”

Your body reacts to the words before you do. “I disagree–”

“Did you just cringe?”

“–you smell like vomit.”

“Well, do you have clothes for me?”

“No, but I have a couch.”

He holds his index finger up. “I’ll take it.”

—

(When you wake up the next morning, Jeonghan’s gone. You open your phone and find 2 more apologies and 3 more thank you’s from him.

You try to ignore the twinge of disappointment.)

—

When the third weekend of fake dating rolls around, you admittedly are a bit tired of going to parties and getting drunk. So when Jeonghan asks what the plans are, you suggest he say that he’s taking you out on a date instead.

As such, you’ve spent nearly the entire day in bed. You’re heating up some water on the stove to make ramen when you get a text from Jeonghan saying he’s five minutes away. You stare at the text. The fuck does that mean?

Unsurprisingly, it ends up meaning that he was literally five minutes away. You open the door when he knocks and stare at him standing in the doorway.

“What are you wearing?” Is the first thing he says. You look down at your outfit. “You should’ve told me this was going to be a sweats kind of date before I put real clothes on.”

“Date?”

“Don’t look so surprised, it was your idea.” Jeonghan reminds you, strutting into your kitchen.

“No, no.” You say, returning to your boiling water. “My idea was to tell people we’re going on a date. Like as a cover.”

“Oh.” He falls down onto your couch. “Well I’m here so get dressed there’s this new ramen place I wanna try.”

You sigh, turning the stovetop off before trudging to your room to change.

The ‘date’ ends up being quite nice. You discuss a study plan to prepare for your math midterm over a much yummier bowl of ramen than you had planned on consuming today. Afterwards, you walk the streets of downtown, only intending to window shop. However, now, standing in a small boutique, Jeonghan tries to convince you to buy matching necklaces.

“Come on, they’re so cute.”

“We don’t need matching necklaces, Jeonghan.”

“A real couple would definitely have matching necklaces.”

“Good thing we’re not one.”

“Fine then. Guess I’ll just stop tutoring you in math too. You know Lubinsky’s midterms are almost as hard as his finals, right?”

You grab two of the necklaces and turn to the cashier. “How much?” You swear you hear Jeonghan whoop from behind you.

—

“Hey,” Jeonghan whispers, “we’re here.” You open your eyes slowly, not even registering that you fell asleep on the ride back to campus after the date-but-not-date. “You drool when you sleep by the way.”

And that wakes you up. You wipe whatever drool is left on your mouth, muttering a small and embarrassed ‘shut up’.

“What are you doing for the rest of your day?” He asks as you gather your things from his car.

“Absolutely nothing. Today’s the last day to rot before midterm prep starts.” You tell him, looking for your wallet. “What about you?”

“Avoiding a mixer at the house tonight.” He reaches into the center console and hands you the leather slip.

You take the wallet gratefully. “Wanna join me? We can make some tea. Watch a movie.”

He puts the car in park. “I know just what we should watch.”

And that’s how you end up on your couch with Jeonghan, two emptied mugs sitting on the coffee table, blanket draped over your legs, and the worst movie you’ve seen to date playing in the background.

“Wow, this movie sucks ass.”

“This,” Jeonghan gestures passionately to the screen, “is cinema.” You clasp your hands together as if in prayer. He takes a double take at the motion. “What are you doing?”

“I’m thanking god that your major is business and not film.” He immediately smacks apart your hands. “Don’t lie.” You say gasping for air between laughs. “This movie is objectively not good.”

His tongue peeks out between his lips, you practically see the smiling begging to emerge on his face. “Okay, so it might not be all that it was hyped up to be, but–”

“Ha!” You point a finger in his face. “I knew you hated it.” He slumps into the couch, pulling the blanket up to his chin. “Do you want more tea?” You ask. He soundlessly nods, refusing to move his eyes from the tv screen.

You stand to make some, grabbing both mugs from the table. “So, do you not have a roommate?” Jeonghan questions, as you pour water from the kettle into the mugs.

You look to the second, empty room of your apartment style dorm. “Actually, no. There was supposed to be someone there, but they moved or dropped out at the start of the year and the school never filled the room.”

“Ah.” Jeonghan clicks, nodding as if finally putting together the last piece of a puzzle “So, that’s why you’re so friendless.”

You return to the couch with full mugs. “I am not friendless.” He makes a face. “Really. I have friends.”

“Other than Soonyoung?”

“Yes.”

“Okay, name them.” You kick him under the blanket. “Fine. You have friends.” (“I have friends.”) “But how come you never talk about hanging out with them?”

You exhale slowly, sinking further into the couch. “I just didn’t do too well in school last semester, so I promised myself I would focus on classes this time around. And, I don’t know, I guess I just got so caught up in that and haven’t really been making the time or effort for hangouts.”

He tilts his head. “You know, I feel like there’s a world where you can do well in school while also maintaining your friendships. I mean we see each other regularly.”

“That’s because half of the time we’re studying.”

He gives you a look. “You know what I mean.”

You sigh, considering his point. Maybe at one point you would have thought the same. Last semester you even tried to have it all–the friends, the social life, the grades. But in the end, you dropped the ball. You can’t afford to make those same mistakes. “I just don’t think that world exists for me.”

He finally looks away from the tv and gives his full attention to you. His eyes seem to linger on every turn in your face. Quietly, he says, “So that’s what it is.” He doesn’t offer an explanation immediately. Instead, his chest deflates in one long exhale, and you smother the voice in your head that’s begging you to ask for one. And there’s this conviction in his voice, this breathtaking finality, when he says, “When are you going to believe me when I say that you’re one of the smartest people I know?” that scares the living shit out of you.

He looks at you again, and you swear to god, his eyes fall right through your frame. You swallow. “What about you?”

His eyebrows raise. “What about me?”

“Who are your friends? How do you spend all your time apart from classes, soccer, the frat, tutoring me and–oh my god, nevermind, new question. Do you even sleep?”

He takes a sip from the tea. “Don’t forget the business honor society. I’ll be the treasurer next fall.”

You squint at him. “Why?”

And like it’s the simplest, most obvious thing in the world he says, “oh, well, they asked.”

Suddenly, you’re reminded of all the times you’ve seen him get asked out on dates followed by every time he’s failed to say no. “Jeonghan,” you turn to him, setting down your mug. (“oh, this is serious, okay.”) You ignore him. “Can you not say no to people?”

He blows a raspberry. “I can say no. Ask me something.”

“Uhhhh,” you rack your brain, “how about–let’s go to the beach next weekend.”

The closest beach is 5 hours away, and yet he has the audacity to say, “Wait, that sounds like fun though.”

“I thought you hated the ocean.”

“Yeah, but maybe it’d be fun with you.”

You shake your head, muttering how impossible he is. The end credits of the movie finally plays.

“I should head out.” Jeonghan says, removing himself from under the blanket. You nod, grabbing the mugs of tea and bringing them to the kitchen. He follows you to the door. You both exchange the usual ‘this was fun’, ‘let’s do it again’, ‘I’ll see you later’ that ends every hangout you’ve had in college. But then, unlike every other person you’ve held the door open for as they leave, after Jeonghan says his final goodbye, he gives you a peck on the lips.

Did that just happen?

Your fingers touch against your lips. Oh my god, it did.

He blinks. “Sorry. I, uh, I don’t know why I just,” he points to your lips, swallowing, “lol. We’re always pretending and then now. And you. Okay, well, anyways, I’ll leave.”

He turns and doesn’t look back. You hear a ‘bye’ sound from the hallway.

And it’s only by the time he’s probably halfway home that it hits: You’ve never seen Jeonghan flustered like that.

—

The first day of midterm prep is brutal. You spend the entire night in the library, studying for hours on end. And once an hour, on the dot it seems, you hear Jeonghan’s voice in your head. There’s a world where you can do well in school while also maintaining your friendships. That very night you text your friends, asking if they want to join you in one of the library study rooms you have booked every evening this week. They do, excited to hear from you again and for the gentle encouragement to get a head start on studying. You hate to admit that Jeonghan was right, but goddammit he was. You have a blast with your friends. You had barely even realized how long you’d gone without seeing them and how much you missed them. By the time your Thursday afternoon tutoring with Jeonghan comes back around, you’re still on track with the study plan you created over ramen, and you have exciting news for him.

“A birthday party?” Jeonghan says, voice carefully devoid of the disdain you must know he feels.

“Yeah, they heard through whoever that we’re dating, and now they all want you to come.”

“But a birthday party?” He repeats. This time not trying to hide anything.

“Oh come on. I went to the game for you.”

“Yeah, but the game was fun.”

“This will be fun too!” You say in what you hope is an encouraging way.

“Fine. But promise you won’t ditch me for your friends.”

“You’re so dramatic.” You mutter. “But yes, I promise.”

That Friday night Jeonghan meets you at your apartment and the two of you head over to the party together.

Halfway down the hallway to your friend’s apartment, Jeonghan suddenly halts. “Shit, should I have brought something?”

“Like what?”

“A gift? Wine? I don’t know.”

“Jeonghan, it’s a party. Don’t overthink it.” You tell him, opening the door to your friend’s apartment.

You step into her entryway and immediately feel like you’ve been transported into another world. The lights are all off save for some LED lights wrapped around the living room ceiling. An assortment of stacked red solo cups, yak-worthy bottles of vodka, and seltzers take over all available kitchen counter space. Some old pop song from an artist you know your friend loves plays loudly from the tv, reverberating through every pair of ears shoved into this tiny apartment. You inhale. The air reeks distinctly of college. You love it.

“Oh my god, there’s even people on the balcony.” Jeonghan whispers in your ears. You pivot your head around to look at him. He looks back at you, unassuming. “What?”

This entire scene is one you’re quite familiar with, having spent many nights just like this in previous semesters. But as you watch Jeonghan gape at the amount of people fitted into the kitchen alone, you figure he might not be as acquainted with this. “Yoon Jeonghan, is this your first apartment party?”

He cocks his head to the side. “Is it not yours?”

But before you can tell him all about the life you used to live before him, your friends find you attacking you with hugs and introducing themselves to Jeonghan.

Jenny, the birthday girl in question, sloppily points at both of you and says, “I’ve been drinking since noon. You need to catch up.”

After a minute of half-hearted protest, you oblige, heading over to the kitchen area. You grab two cups, handing Jeonghan one. “There’s soda over there if you’re not drinking tonight,” you tell him, pointing to the area beside the sink where a line of mixers await.

He looks over at the bottles, then looks back at you. “Are you drinking?”

“Yes!” Your friend Daniel yells from over the music. You just shrug, reaching for one of the handles. “I guess so.”

Jeonghan inhales sharply, holding out his cup for you to pour. “I’ll have what you’re having then.”

You hesitate, open bottle hovering over the lip of his cup. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Why?”

You frown. “I was thinking about what you said after the game about how you don’t drink that much, and I don’t want you to drink just because I am. I can not drink too.”

He pushes his cup up. “What was it you said earlier? It’s a party. Don’t overthink it.”

Then he gives you that crooked half smile that you’ve come to know so well. You pour him a drink and pour yourself one too. You turn back to your friends, holding up your cup for a cheers.

“Wait, wait, what are we cheersing to?” Daniel asks, grabbing his cup from behind him and holding it up, tapping on Jenny’s shoulder for her to do the same.

It’s Jeonghan who answers. Looking straight at you, he holds his cup up high and says, “To friends.”

You bring the drink up to your lips smiling, watching him watching you. All four of you down your drinks. The drink is absolutely terrible, burning a path down your throat all the way down. Jeonghan hands you another cup, whispering ‘it’s coke’ with an equally pained expression on his face. You take it gratefully.

“God,” Jenny says, placing a hand on her chest while watching the exchange between you and Jeonghan, “they’re like an old married couple already. How have we missed all this?”

“I know.” Daniel says, shaking his head. “I can still barely believe it.”

You glare at him. “Hey, what’s so hard to believe?”

They both ignore you, turning their attention to Jeonghan instead.

“So, we’ve heard all the boring–how you guys met, first date–sort of stuff, but we want to know the juicy details–”

“Jenny, don’t you have other guests to attend to or–”

“Yeah,” Daniel joins in, “like what’s your favorite thing about them?”

You turn to Jeonghan immediately. “You don’t have to answer that.”

“My favorite part,” Jeonghan starts, ignoring your plea to not humor them and tapping a finger on his chin in thought. He must find it after a moment, pausing the tapping and stealing a glance your way. “Probably how much fun I have with them.” He says to your friends. “I feel like we’re always laughing together or just having a good time. I’ve never been able to talk to someone as easily as I do with them. Like you know how when you get towards the end of a really good book, and you just can’t put it down, pushing everything else to the side to keep reading. Hanging out with them is like that.” Turning back to look at you, he adds, “I never want it to end.”

You hold his gaze while Jenny and Daniel erupt into a series of awes and exclamations. Deep in your gut, you know that you should be focusing on the kind smile on his face or the sudden rapidity in your heartbeat, but instead, more cruelly, you wonder how much of that was a lie he made up to appease the role of your fake boyfriend.

You turn to pour yourself another drink. He holds his cup out as well. You pour for two.

“You okay?” He asks, pouring some fruit punch into both your cups as well.

You nod. You have no reason to be upset. So taking a sip of the drink, you decide you’re not. “Yeah, I’m good.”

“We should play a game,” he says, taking a sniff of your jointly made concoction.

“Oh?”

“Yeah, like…” He looks around the apartment. “We have to drink every time we see someone kissing.”

“What kind of rule is that?”

“No. It’ll be fun.” He says, scanning the apartment again. He sucks in air between his teeth. “Damn, I thought there’d be more kissing than this for some reason.”

You laugh at his cluelessness, and then lean in to kiss his cheek. “There.” You say, clinking your cup against his. “Now, we can drink.”

He taps a finger to the tip of his nose twice, then points it at you, before taking two large gulps of his drink.

The game actually does a good job of getting you and Jeonghan drunk once Jenny catches wind if it and starts giving out birthday kisses to whoever will take one. After a while, you make the executive decision that you need a break and escape to the bathroom to piss. When you exit back into the hallway off the living room, Jeonghan is there, leaning against the opposite wall, waiting for you. He hands you your cup back. “Your friends are terrible, terrible enablers,” he says, motioning for you to drink up while taking a drink himself. You whimper, leaning against the wall beside him and readmitting the dreaded liquid to your body.

“So,” you bump your shoulder against his, “are you having fun?”

He shifts his entire body to face you, shoulder resting against the wall, back turned to the entire party. He puts his face right in front of yours, narrows his eyes at you playfully, and says, “did you even listen to what I said?”

You put a hand on his shoulder. Just to have something between his body and yours. “What?”

He grins cheekily, letting out a puff of air that smells like cherry. “I always have fun with you.”

You laugh. Then in a voice sober you would be embarrassed of, you say, “And you never want it to end?”

He sticks his tongue out just barely, laughing into your neck. “And I never want it to end.”

You kiss him.

You don’t stop to think about what it might mean tomorrow or even in the next hour. You don’t stop to think about the fact that you’re too drunk to be initiating kisses or the possibility that he is. You don’t stop to think about anything, other than how much you love the sound of his laugh and how badly you want to feel his lips on yours again.

The kiss starts slowly, a shy orchestration of lips and breath. Your nose bumps against his, and he pulls away. He looks at you with those damn eyes, like it’s the first time all over again. And for some reason you can’t explain you bitterly think that it was always going to end like this.

He cups his free hand against your cheek and pulls you back in. Your lips meet in an open-mouthed kiss that has nothing slow and shy about it. No. It’s sloppy, hurried, and hungry. It’s tongue and teeth, crashing and colliding over and over again. It’s your body against his, every rise of your chest battling against his You wrap your free hand against his torso, pulling him impossibly closer. His hand moves from where it was holding your face to travel over the back of your head and your neck, sliding halfway down your back before pulling forward to run from your waist down to your hip. It lingers there for a moment before continuing further to grip the back of your thigh, pulling your knee up the side of his leg and holding it there against his hip.

A commotion sounds from the living room. “Oh shit.” You say breathlessly, pulling away from him. “I think she’s going to pop the champagne.”

“Okay.” He breathes, before kissing you again. You laugh in his mouth, whispering his name and pushing a hand against his chest. Finally, he lets go of your leg. You lead him back to the rest of the party where everyone is crowding around the balcony entrance. You and Jeonghan stand in the living room, watching from the window as Jenny struggles to pop the cork. She gets it after a moment, yelping at the sudden burst and spraying it over the edge of the balcony. Once the champagne dies down enough to not be overflowing, she brings the bottle to her lips and chugs. Everyone counts.

1! Jeonghan steps closer to you, wrapping his arms around your torso and hugging you from the back. You have to remind yourself to catch your breath.

2! He rests his chin on your shoulder. Without even thinking about it, you rest your head against his. His voice is a warm breath on your neck.

3! You recall what he said to your friends at the start of the party and again to you right before the kiss. Did he mean it? Does he really not want this to end?

4! Your eyes glance over at his. He looks happy. He looks like he’s finally given himself the chance to be young and stupid, which from the start, is all you ever wanted for him. So then why does it make you feel so suddenly grief-stricken?

5! “Why didn’t you tell Joshua about us?” You ask him quietly, voice drowned out by the counting for everyone other than him.

6! He angles his chin towards you. “What do you mean? He knows we’re dating.”

7! “No, I mean why didn’t you tell him that it’s fake.”

8! He stands up straight. Fuck the counting. You turn to look at him. “He’s your best friend, isn’t he?”

9! He looks at you carefully. “Did you tell Soonyoung that it’s all been fake?”

10! You haven’t even answered him yet, but somehow, he already knows what you’re going to say.

11! “Yes.” And even alcohol couldn’t have hidden the distinct look of betrayal painted all over his face.

12! He looks down into his cup and chuckles darkly. “Why did we just kiss?”

13! You swallow. Shit. “Someone was looking at you, like–well, you know what like.”

14! He doesn’t say anything. You recount his words back to him. “Sealing the deal, remember.”

15! His eyes bore into yours. How could you have been so stupid?

16! Please, you want to beg, say something.

17! He shakes his head, smiling emptily. “Tell your friends it was nice to meet them.”

18! He doesn’t wait to hear if you have anything left to say. He turns, and you watch him disappear from the party.

The rest of the numbers blur in your head.

—

(That night you had called Soonyoung, sobbing over the phone, feeling more drunk then, in your apartment than you had at any other point that night.

“What’s wrong?” Alarm was flush in his voice. “What happened? Are you okay?”

The only thing Soonyoung could even make out was a very sad, very quiet, “I ruined it.”)

—

You haven’t talked to Jeonghan since Jenny’s party. He hasn’t texted you either. Staring at your upcoming midterm on Thursday and the extra study session with Jeonghan scheduled for Wednesday, you feel, quite lamely, mocked by your own calendar. But more than anything, you’re mad that he’s left you to study all alone the week of your midterm. You’re mad that you’re so busy replaying that night in your head, you can barely pay attention to the practice tests. You’re mad that, right now, sitting at the spot you guys always sat at in the library, you don’t have him. And you’re terrified of the creeping thought that you never really did.

By the time the midterm does come around, you’re exhausted. Not from studying or lack of sleep, but just from the sheer willpower it’s taken all week to not think about Jeonghan. You feel oddly calm going into the exam, the usual anxious chatter of students around you and rattling of chairs and pencils, not freaking you out as much as it normally would. You take the midterm, one question at a time, just as Jeonghan instructed you to do with every homework and every quiz. And then, 40 minutes in, you finish. Astonishingly, you even have enough time left to check over your work. So you do, fixing minor rounding and calculation errors, until you’re faced again with a completed exam and 15 minutes left.

You get to do something you haven’t done since high school: you turn it in early.

—

You spend the rest of that day in between your bed and your couch, struggling even more now than before to ignore thoughts of Jeonghan and your last conversation with him. For the past several weeks, Thursday afternoons were monopolized by Jeonghan, but today, watching the sun set outside your window, you’ve spent it all alone. The finality of what happened last weekend finally hits you: you might never speak to Jeonghan again. You really did ruin it. Suddenly, the urge to weep overcomes you. You turn on the tv instead, looking for a movie to watch. And of course it must be fate's petty joke on you that the first movie that pops up is the one you watched with Jeonghan after your date. You groan into your pillow before switching to something else.

By the time the movie is almost over and the sun has fully set, your phone rings. You had been checking it obsessively earlier and had therefore set it a bit farther away from where you were sitting. But at the sound of the ring, you’re ashamed to admit that you literally leapt for it. Your mind reads the caller id and is instantly flooded with an odd mix of relief and anxiety. Jeonghan is calling. Holy shit, Jeonghan is calling.

Your voice is shaky when you answer. “Hello?”

“Hey, this is Jeonghan’s partner right?” Your mouth parts at the voice that most definitely does not belong to Jeonghan. Who is this man? Why does he have Jeonghan’s phone? Why does it hurt your heart so much when he calls you Jeonghan’s partner? You must sit in your shock for too long because the mystery caller speaks again, sounding somewhat annoyed. “This is Seungcheol from the team. This is who I think it is, right? Because your number was saved as ‘my cutie’ with like a million heart emojis, so if not, this is about to get really awkward.” You have no idea how to respond to that. Finally, Seungcheol says your name. “This is you, right?”

You inhale sharply. “Yeah, uhm, sorry yes. Is everything alright? Aren’t you guys at practice right now?”

“Yeah, well we’re about to end, but here’s the thing…” Seungcheol then explains how terribly Jeonghan’s been playing this week, overly aggressive, missing every pass, fucking up every cross. And today, halfway through practice he hurt his shoulder and the coach sat him out entirely, forcing him to sit on the sidelines and just watch. Safe to say, this did not go over well with him, and he’s been laying down on the bench head buried in his arms, snapping at everyone who approaches him ever since. Seungcheol had to use a fake emergency bathroom break as a chance to run away to the locker room and make this call. “Do you know what’s going on with him?”

Of course you know, and it’s all your fault. You really did ruin everything with one kiss. “I–”

“Fuck, I’m running out of time. Never mind that.” Seungcheol says, cutting you off. “Can you just come down and be here, when we get off practice? Jeonghan drove over so you both can take his car back, but I think he just really needs someone here with him today.”

You wince. “Seungcheol, actually, I–”

“No, no, please. You don’t understand. I think I saw him crying on the bench. He needs you. Come.” Then after a slight hesitation he adds, “If you can. Please.”

You don’t even know what to say, but it doesn’t matter because just then the call ends. You stare at your phone, considering the options. Stay here and wallow. Or go, and try to salvage everything you’ve broken. And while you are a very accomplished wallower, you know which one you have to do. You drag your feet all the way over to your room to change.

You pace outside the field waiting for them, running through every possible scenario in your head. It does nothing, only worsening the condition of your already ailing heart. You drop down onto the curb, holding your head in your hands. Maybe he won’t even see you like this. You can’t tell if you prefer or hate that possibility.

Something bumps into your back. You look up and find Jeonghan staring down at you. You stand up so quickly your head starts to spin. Looking at him, you realize that this is the longest you’ve gone without seeing or talking to each other since meeting. You hated every second of it. But you think you might hate the look on his face right now more.

“What are you doing here?” He asks, words devoid of all the little quirks that make him him.

“Seungcheol called me.”

His face twitches. “Why?”

“He said that you–” you halt, selfishly wondering if it’s too late to abandon this ship. “How’s your shoulder?”

He looks at it, rolling it out once. He shrugs. “It’s fine now.”

You nod.

He then surprises you by asking: “How was your midterm?” Your eyes widen, searching his face for… you’re not even sure what. You don’t find it anyways.

You shift your weight uncomfortably. “It went well actually.”

He nods.

“Do you want a ride back?

He scoffs quietly. You flinch. “Can you even drive?”

“Uh, yeah.”

“How would you get back to yours?”

“I don’t know. Walk. Or maybe a bus. Or I could even–”

He doesn’t even let you finish. Voice raising when he asks again, “Why are you here?”

The words come out before you can stop them, tone matching his. “Because I’m sorry!”

“For what?”

“For kissing you!” He drops his duffle bag on the floor. “I don’t know!”

He parts his lips, inhaling as if to speak, but then he looks straight in your eyes and loses every word he might’ve wanted to say. He picks up his duffle and walks over to his car. “Jeonghan, please say something. I miss you, and I hate this. I just want to at least talk about what happened before we never speak again.”

He shoves his bag into the backseat and slams the door shut. He points to the car. “You coming?”

“Where?”

“I’ll drop you home.”

You don’t even know why you let him, but you do, sliding in the passenger seat and waiting until the car is started and moving to say something.

Or at least, that was the plan. But then you lose all the nerves you built up on your walk over and keep quiet the entire drive back to your place. It’s only when he stops in front of yours, ignition shutting off, that they build back enough for you to say, “Jeonghan, I–”

“I’m not mad because of the kiss.” He finally says, voice much softer than before. His eyes stay trained on the dashboard. “The kiss was…” He chokes on the word while the tiniest of smiles breaks like light after a storm on his face. “The kiss was perfect.” Your stomach momentarily turns into a gymnast. “I’m not even mad at all. I’m just,” You lean in after the words, as if waiting to catch them in your hands. He shakes his head once and then turns to look at you fully. “I’m upset because you think this has all been fake when, if I’m being brutally honest, I haven’t been faking anything since that first party.”

Oh.

Oh.

Holy fucking shit.

He chuckles darkly, hitting his head lightly against the steering wheel. “Now, I know what it feels like to be on the opposite end of this.”

You can’t help yourself. “How is it?”

He groans. “It’s like a thousand stomach aches throughout your entire body.”

You want to take him out of his misery, but, “I don’t know what to say.”

“Don’t say anything.”

“I don’t think–”

“No, I’m serious.” He mutters. He looks pained. “Remember when you said that I can’t say no to people? This is it. I’m saying no.” He smiles at you, but you know his eyes too well and you know when there’s nothing in them. His breath catches. “I’m really happy about your midterm. I always knew you didn’t need me.”

He looks away after that, turning the car back on, an obvious signal for you to get out. Selfishly, you don’t. You take two more seconds to stare at his face, his eyes, his hair, his hands. Then you unbuckle your seatbelt and step out of the car.

He doesn’t wait long before he drives away.

You walk back up to your dorm in a stupor of sorts. You unlock the door, step through the kitchen, walk like a zombie to your room, and stare at yourself in the mirror. Your eyes travel over your whole frame, and for some reason they fall to rest at your neck. More specifically, your necklace.

You’re out of the door, running before you even know it. Breathlessly, turning onto the road that leads to the opposite side of campus. 30 minutes away. This of course turns out to be a terrible, terrible idea. You do not run. But you get there eventually. Speed walking up to the door of Jeonghan’s frat house and knocking vigorously.

Soonyoung happens to be the one that opens it. “Oh, hey! How was your–Why can’t you breathe?”

You ignore him. “Is Jeonghan here?”

He shakes his head. “I don’t think he’s back from practice yet. Why? What happened? Did you guys make up yet?”

“No, but, Soonyoung, I’ve been so stupid. This whole time I kept gabbing on and on, but I was blind. It was him. It was always–”

You hear a familiar voice say your name. Not just familiar. Your favorite voice. You turn to face him.

And you can’t help it, you grin.

You’re distantly aware of Soonyoung closing the door behind you.

“How did you get here?”

“I ran.” He makes a face. “Well, partly.”

“I told you to–”

“I know what you said.”

“Fine.” He sighs. “I didn’t–well, not like this, but listen. It’s okay if you don’t care–”

“But the thing is Jeonghan,” you say, the sentences and words you had prepared on the way over blurring together all in a rush to get out of your head and into his, “I do. There was no one looking at you at Jenny’s party. I kissed you because I wanted to. Because I wanted it. I hate sports. Really, ask Soonyoung, but I went and watched your game and had fun because you asked me to and because I don’t have the capacity to actually say no to your face. I thought I hated that smirk you do, but really I just hate how flustered it makes me feel. And I’m sorry that I took the whole young and stupid thing too close to heart, but,” you pull the matching necklace out from under your shirt. “If I didn’t care, would I still be wearing this? Would I be able to stand here and tell you and I haven’t taken it off since we bought it? And that that date was the best date I’ve ever been on.” You let go of the necklace, inhaling sharply. “I care, Jeonghan.” Then, as if it needs to be clarified, you add, “about you.”

You stare at him, waiting. And waiting. And waiting.

He turns around, takes two steps away from you, and then immediately plops his ass on the ground. You hear a whimper. “I thought I was going to lose you.” You approach him slowly, like a cat you’re trying like hell not to scare. You kneel down on the pavement beside him. He wipes his tears. “Don’t laugh.” He cries, already sensing the one bubbling in your throat. You shake your head as a swear not to. Which you break a second after the fact, turning your head to the side, desperately trying to hide it behind your hand. “Bully!” He exclaims.

“No. No.” You say, composing yourself and turning back to him. His tears are wiped, but a pout remains on his face. You cup your hands against his cheeks. “It’s just really cute.”

“It’s embarrassing.” He huffs.

You shake your head. “I love it.” Then you kiss him. It’s a slow and sweet kiss. You relish in it. There’s no rush anymore. No deadline. He isn’t going anywhere. Neither are you. You have all the time in the world with him.

[little-diable]

All to myself - Prof!Tom Riddle (smut)

Prof and priest fics are without doubt my faves. Please like and reblog if you enjoyed reading this, your comments keep us writers motivated! Enjoy my loves. xxx

Summary: Another student tries to touch the reader, so Professor Riddle has to remind his TA that she is his, only his. Pwp

Warnings: 18+, smut, unprotected piv, oral(m), power play, profxta

Pairing: Prof!Tom Riddle x fem!TA!reader (1.8k words)

She felt his eyes on her, watching her every move as if he was worried about her doing something wrong, messing up his classroom. No matter what she did or touched, his eyes followed her around like a shadow. A shadow sewn to his boots, unable to escape her boss, the one whose every command she blindly followed. 

“I’ll expect your papers on my desk Friday afternoon, I won’t accept any tardiness.” Professor Riddle’s voice filled the room, instantly shutting up his chatting students. All eyes were drawn to his piercing ones, staring at the tall professor who acted like their god, the deity they’d have to worship. “If you have any further questions, find (y/n), she can help you.”

(Y/n)’s eyes snapped towards the professor, hands freezing midair. Not once had he addressed her like that in class and told his students that she could help them out, hidden in the dark corners of the room as if he was scared to share her with them. She couldn’t stop the heat from flushing through her, eyes forced back down to the book she had been combing through, highlighting the pages he had asked her to prepare. 

“I’ll see you next week.” With his last words echoing through the room, the students quickly rose to their feet, set on disappearing from the room and the professor they all feared. He watched them scurry out of the room, lips pulled into an almost satisfied smirk. 

“Did you find the pages, (y/n)?” He leaned against the desk, arms crossed in front of his chest, no longer caring about the handful of students who were still packing their things. She could only nod, unable to meet his eyes, not when she was reminded of the way he had touched her not even twelve hours ago, once again finding comfort in one another’s touch.

Well, perhaps it wasn’t about comfort for him, perhaps it was all about claiming her, about owning the young woman who had joined his class as a student last year and was now working for him as his teaching assistant. A power hierarchy she had always feared, not daring to overstep, at least not till he had made the first move, not giving her a way out. 

“Good, come to my office tonight so we can prepare for next week’s class.”

……

“Thank you so much for your help, (y/n).” A tight smile played on her lips, trying to keep her distance from the student who had found her a few minutes ago. She had been on her way to Professor Riddle’s office, carrying the books of his she had borrowed when the guy had forced her to a halt. He had instantly dropped his questions on her, smirking at the already annoyed woman. 

“Of course, now, if you excuse me, I need to find Professor Riddle.” She wanted to turn from him, wanting to disappear from the student who made her feel all too uncomfortable. But his hand darted out, fingers wrapped around her wrist to keep her close. Her breath hitched in her chest at the unwanted touch, eyes flickering from her wrist to his dark pupils. 

“Why the hurry, (y/n)? I think he can wait a few more minutes for you. Don’t you find it weird how he treats you? As if you’re some toy he owns.” Her throat felt tight, mouth too dry to reply, wanting to rip herself from the man’s grasp, though without any luck. The grasp he had on her wrist only got tighter, sure to leave marks she’d have to cover for the next days. 

“Let me go, please.” The student’s laugh was drowned out by the sound of fast-approaching steps, making a shadow appear behind (y/n)’s frame. Instantly the student let go of (y/n), trying to flee from the scene as Professor Riddle stared him down. Within seconds the professor had the guy pressed against the nearest wall, forcing a gasp from (y/n).

“If I ever catch you touching (y/n), even looking at her, I will end you. Do you hear me, Mister Kerry?” No reply left the student, unable to speak up, only able to quickly nod his head. The second the man let go of him, he fled from the scene, leaving (y/n) and the professor behind. 

For a few seconds, neither of them spoke, with Professor Riddle turning towards (y/n), eyes focused on her already bruised wrist. With wide eyes she watched him carefully reach for her hand, momentarily studying her skin before he began to pull her down the hallway, straight to his office. Her heart was pounding, racing against her ribcage to try and warn the oblivious woman of the danger lying ahead. But there was no escaping, she was tied to him like a boat tied to the dock, rocking with the waves though kept in place by the tight rope. 

“How did you find me?” (Y/n)’s whispers filled his barely alight office, drawing a dangerous chuckle from the man, a sound so strong (y/n)’s body kept trembling, littered with goosebumps. 

“It’s not typical for you to be late, and I seem to find you no matter where you are. I don’t share what is mine, and especially not you.” His voice dripped with possessiveness, hand cupping her warm cheek before his lips crashed against hers, leaving the woman moaning. Within a few moments (y/n) was forced against his desk, caged between the expensive wooden craft and his tall frame. “You’re mine, mine alone, never forget that, pet.”

“I won’t. I am sorry.” She wasn’t sure what she was apologising for, and yet it only felt right to do so. The words seemed to please the professor, studying her for another second or two before an almost teasing “Prove how sorry you are” left him. Without protesting, (y/n) dropped to her knees, glassy eyes staring up at the tall man, watching him free his already hard cock with skilled movements. 

(Y/n) parted her lips like she had done numerous times before, in this very position, for the brooding man only. He forced his cock into her mouth without another warning, finding enjoyment in her gasps, the surprise filling her eyes, the trembling of her hand. She was his pet, the one he had claimed the first time she had stepped into his office, forever his. 

“Atta, girl, such a perfect mouth.” Her hum left him groaning, ringed hand finding her hair as his head momentarily rolled back. Professor Riddle’s eyes fluttered close, enjoying the fast bobbing motion, the way her tongue took care of his ache just like he needed her to. If there was one thing (y/n) found pride in, it was satisfying the tall man, drawing these sounds from his mouth – sounds she’d think of whenever her thoughts started to wander. 

“C’mon, you can take a bit more, don’t hold back, pet.” (Y/n) struggled to take more, and yet she was set on following whatever he asked of her, trying to loosen her jaw. One tear after another spilt from her eyes, dripping down onto his expensive carpet, leaving yet another stain he’d never wipe away. She wasn’t used to hearing his praises, and yet whenever he did praise her, (y/n) hoped that her mind would never forget about these moments, cherishing every sound he made.

She felt his cock twitch in her mouth, staring up at the moaning man as her hands added more speed to their movements, pumping the parts her mouth couldn’t reach. If there was one thing she was set on, it was tasting his release, wanting him to leave his stain on her tongue before he fucked her, a wish the man wouldn’t fulfill today. He pulled away before he could give in, letting go of her hair, only to pull (y/n) to her feet. The professor manhandled her onto his table, front pushed against the cold wood as his hands pulled her trousers and panties down her legs.

“Such a messy whore for your professor, look at the way you’re dripping.” His dark chuckles left (y/n) impatiently moaning, hands clinging to the edge of the table, already preparing for the first of many ferocious thrusts. She heard him spit into his hand, once again lubing his cock up before he pushed into her from behind, drawing a moan from the both of them. 

He fucked her hard, fast, not caring about her need to adjust, or the pained whimpers leaving her. No, this was a lesson, a lesson crafted for her only, reminding the young woman that she was his, his only. No other man would ever manage to fuck her like this. No other man would ever manage to draw these sounds from her parted lips.

His toy, his pet, his woman. 

Curses left her whenever his cock managed to nudge the spot that left her seeing stars, squeezing her eyes shut to try and focus on the intimate moment, the need to feel his cock forcing her walls apart with every thrust, the ache he left behind between her legs. This wasn’t about taking their time, about cherishing one another’s closeness, this was solemnly to scratch that inch inside of them, fuelled by their possessiveness. 

“Please, oh please, professor.” A hum left the man, forcing one arm around her waist to rub her pulsing bundle, driving her closer and closer to the edge. “Please let me cum, oh god, please.” 

“Cum for me, pet. Let them hear who is fucking you, who is the only one allowed to touch you.” His name rolled off (y/n)’s tongue as she came, trying to prolong the moment for as long as possible. The professor kept snapping his hips, forcing his cock deeper and deeper, wanting to leave his stain on her walls, set on imprinting himself on her cunt. His dark, raspy moans left her gasping, feeling his hand tighten its grip on her flesh as he came inside of her, giving room to one last groan.

“You’re mine to touch, mine only, don’t you ever forget that, (y/n).”

[evie-sturns]

you want to? - matt sturniolo

summary: when you ask your classmate matt for a ride home after school, you find out hes a virgin, how could you not offer to change that?

contains: smut, semi-sub!matt, virgin!matt, swearing.

--------------------└── •✧• ──┘------------——-

the deafening bell rings throughout my math classroom, signalling the end of the day. i look down at my phone which reads 3:00pm, i instantly start to pack up my books more than ready to leave.

i watch the brunette boy to my left swing his bag over his shoulders, he doesn't say much but i'm pretty sure his names matt, i'm quite close with his brother nick but i've never got to know him personally.

i follow close behind him as he walks through the hallway.

we exit through the doors of the school, i decide to make my move now, needing a desperate ride home.

"uh- matt!" i call out walking up beside him, he looks over at me fixing the frame of his dark brown glasses.

"yeah?" he replies softly,

it shouldn't be wrong of me to ask for a ride, i've seen him briefly while i've been round at nicks house, and we got paired up for a group project in 9th grade where i spoke to him for a week.

"this is like- really random but do you mind giving me a ride home, i think my house is just down the street to yours and my car broke down this morning." i ramble

"oh- yeah, okay- thats fine." he says nervously "thank you so much" i let out a sigh of relief.

matt and i walk in silence to his car, his lips are red from where hes been biting them.

he opens the door for me, i jump in the passenger seat. the whole car is clean except for a camera battery and an empty mcdonald's cup.

he jumps in as well, "sorry if this is an inconvenience, i'll venmo you gas money and extra." i say.

"no- don't worry about it, it's fine." matt instantly replies.

i decide to start up a conversation, not wanting to sit in silence for the whole 20 minute ride.

"hows nick?" i ask, "hes okay, i think hes just weirded out about the whole audrey situation."

audrey is nick's best friend, who recently became hated at our school for sleeping with a whole friend group then lying to everyone and saying they made her do it.

"oh yeah!? she fucked that whole group of guys oh god." i exclaim, causing matt to tense up, his hands gripping the steering wheel tight.

"you okay? sorry- do you know audrey"

he shakes his head "i don't know her."

"oh you just went tense about the audrey fucking." i repeat, he laughs slightly, the tips of his ears go red.

"have you never had sex?" i ask, my head spinning round to look at him.

his cheeks go a deep red, he takes a hand off the wheel to rubs his eye under his glasses.

"i- yeah- no.. i dont know" he mutters, "you don't know if you've had sex?" i smile,

"i don't know- no" he says awkwardly with a grin.

"oh, thats fine!" i reply,

"you want to?" i continue, matt goes silent. i instantly regret my words, i didn't mean to make matt uncomfortable but it was just a genuine question.

"sorry." i instantly follow my words up, my tone less.. loud.

"yeah, i think i do" matt almost whispers as though he can't get any louder.

i nod my head understandingly , "you got anyone you want to loose it to, or not really?"

matt seems to grow a little more comfortable, his deathly grip on the wheel loosening

"i can't say" he laughs slightly "i mean i'm almost 18 and both my brothers won't stop yapping about their hook ups." he sighs

"do you want to.. with me?" i ask quietly, the words leaving my mouth before i can process

"but only if you want-" i instantly say after.

his head snaps round to look at me, his glasses slipping down the bridge of his nose slightly. "you- what" he smiles slightly, his eyebrows twisting as his cheeks flush

i stay silent, maintaining eye contact for a couple seconds.

"yeah, okay thank you" his says breathlessly, looking back to the road

"you can uh- come back to my house, nick and chris are at hockey and my parents are away for 2 weeks." matt says, trying to sound confident.

i nod, "yeah okay!"

-

3:42pm

matt pulls into his driveway, we've been having small talk for the past 5 minutes the rest of the way.

i open the door to his car, stepping out onto the concrete. i follow matt inside his house, i'm more than used to being in his house, execpt its usually with nick to hang out, not with his triplet brother to hook up.

i take his hand, he guides us upstairs into his bedroom. i lock the wooden door behind us.

"so uh, where do we start?" matt laughs nervously, reaching a hand up and scratching the side of his head.

i get on my tip-toes, grabbing his jaw and pulling him into a kiss. he hesitates for a second before kissing me back.

it quickly turns into a makeout, i push him back onto the bed before straddling him.

i grind against the fabric of his jeans, matt lets out a pathetic whimper against my lips clearly sensitive.

i pull away for a second to pull my shirt up over my head, revealing the pink lace of my bra. matt shamelessly stares at my tits, his top teeth sinking into his bottom lip.

after a solid 25 seconds of staring he pulls his navy blue crewneck off over his head, his middle part flopping on his forehead.

his breathing picks up as i unclasp my bra, letting it fall down onto his chest. i instantly feel a bulge feel underneath me, his face growing red.

i fix his glasses on his face lingering my fingers on his skin for longer than needed, "oh my god" i hear him whisper under his breath, i shift off his lap onto the floor, matt sits on the edge of the bed.

i fidget with the buckle of his belt, pulling it through the loops of his jeans before unbuttoning the button of his jeans and shimmying the fabric down his thighs.

i don't waste time to yank down his boxers, his erection springs out. matt's tip is slightly more red than his lips, now begging to be touched.

"you ready sweetheart?" i ask him, dragging my nails up and down his thighs.

"yeah- yes please." he nods, i wrap my hand around his length and pumping slowly, i look up at him and his head falls back "fuck.." he groans as i wrap my lips around his tip.

i circle my tongue just around his tip teasingly but it seems to be enough for matt already.

i slowly take more of him in my mouth, taking most of his dick down my throat.

"oh my god oh my god-" matt whimpers as i bob my head up and down,

my pace quickens everytime matt makes noise, only driving me to take more of him. i feel him twitch, meaning he's close already.

after matt bucks his hips up i pull off of him, edging him. "please" matt starts but i cut him off "don't want you to cum yet, don't wanna overstimulate you okay?"

he nods, i get up off the floor to straddle the top of his thighs again, his dick resting against my lower stomach.

"tell me what you want matt." i say, fixing his hair which rests against the glass of his glasses. "please?" matt whispers.

"please what." i tease, kneeling on either side of his legs and pulling down my shorts and panties in one tug. "ride me.." he says shyly. i smile before hovering myself above his tip, slowly sinking down onto his tip.

"oh my god" he groans, i let out a soft groan as i sink further down his length, i grab his wrists and place his ringed hands on my waist instead of him balling up the sheet.

"feels so good" he mumbles shakily, i start to bounce slowly up and down on his dick.

i let out strings of moans as his grip tightens on my waist "please please-" he whines, i start to pick up my pace.

"matt- you wanna try being on top?" i ask quickly, he hesitates before nodding his head eagerly.

he flips us over impressively easily, "grab my ankles" i tell him which he does, his two large hands grabbing my ankles and pushing them down by my ears, i nod.

he starts to thrust into me, matt's middle part flops on his head, his glasses shifting.

"fuck- 'm so close" he groans "you got it matt" i breathe out

matt pulls out, instantly releasing on my stomach as his glasses fall off, landing on my chest.

he flops down next to me on the bed panting, his arms laying across his forehead.

i scoot closer to matt's side, "you okay?" i ask, he wraps an arm around my waist and pulls me closer to him, a small smile forming on his face.

"you don't understand how long i've wanted that with you." he laughs slightly, "with me?" i reply, my eyes widening slightly

"yeah- i don't know." he sits up, rubbing his eyes. i sit up next to him, grabbing his glasses off my chest and holding them up

i slide the glasses onto his face, his cheeks still flushed

"we should do this again sometime" he suggests awkwardly,

"good idea matt" i smile, pressing a quick kiss to his red lips.

---------------------------------

@luanetaluenta @sturnsssbow @mattfangirl @luvr4miya @luvtay111 @lolasturniolo @freshloveforthefit @ruedowney @lovingchrissposts @333michelle @h3arts4harry @sonicmacks @jamiesturniolo @chrisstopherfilmed @itzdarling @sturniolo-simp4life @daddyslilchickenfingers2 @recklessmatt @ev3rgreenxtrees @lovergirl4387 @certifiednatelover @solarsturniolo @mattsenthusiast @yomamaslays4lyfe @peachmels @alinaa131 @pepsiluvr0209

[ktgoodmorning]

"Stop smirking, I'm mad at you"

Ona Batlle x reader

You and Ona get lost, inspired by this pic of her.

Masterlist

You were just in the process of jamming your feet in a pair of shoes when you heard the doorbell ring. Knowing it was your girlfriend coming to pick you up, you hobbled over to open it, still putting your shoes on. “Buenos días, cari��o!” Ona greeted you with the same wide smile you had grown to love, giving you a peck on the lips before entering your apartment. 

“Hola, Oni. I’ll be ready in a second. Let me just grab my stuff.” Ona had made plans for the two of you to go hiking together, wanting to try out a new trail that Mapi had told her about. 

Hiking wasn’t your favorite thing but you could make an exception if it meant spending time with Ona. You trusted that she knew you well enough not to plan anything too long or you’d get tired of it, along with packing lots of snacks to make sure she could keep you in a good mood. 

You reappeared wearing a small backpack, ready for your short adventure, to find Ona sitting on your kitchen counter, waiting patiently. As soon as she saw you, she jumped down to give you another kiss. “All ready to go?” 

“Ready as I’ll ever be,.” You playfully rolled her eyes at her, knowing that you couldn’t have that bad of a time when you were with her. 

Ona stood up on her toes to meet you, kissing your nose, “you’ll have fun, I promise. Mapi said this was a good trail.”

“Oh so now we’re trusting Mapi to plan our dates?” 

“Okay. You got me there. But I do still think you’ll like this one.” You gave her a light chuckle as she pulled you towards the door, eager to get going and start your day together. 

The entire care ride there, Ona was excitedly telling you about your upcoming hike and everything that you might be seeing. She held your hand as she drove, constantly stealing looks at you to see if you were as enthusiastic as she was. You noticed her constant glances over at you and you found it amusing. It was sweet how much she cared about you having a good time with her, even if you both knew you always did. You gave her hand a squeeze, giving her a bit of reassurance as she drove. Even if you didn’t love the activity itself, you were excited to have this much uninterrupted time, just the two of you. Plus she had reassured you that it was supposed to be relatively short and easy so you knew you should be able to get through it without too many complaints. 

When she parked the car, the dark haired woman looked to you for reassurance once again. “Are you sure you want to do this? We can always do something else if you don’t want to.”

“Oni, I’m all in, okay? This sounds like it’ll be fun, and it’s not all that long anyways, I’ll be good I swear. I won’t even complain that much.” You gave her another kiss, hoping that she’d be settled by the fact that you were fully agreeing to this. It seemed to work as she gave you a quick nod. With that you left the car, ready for your girlfriend to lead the way. 

Ona was right that it did seem to be more interesting than some of the hikes you’d done. There was more to look at- more interesting flowers, a view of the water in the distance, it really wasn’t bad. It was a beautiful day so it made for good conversation as you moved alongside your girlfriend. At times you would stop to take a picture of the scenery or look at some bird that you saw off in the distance. It was nice, peaceful. 

After about an hour, you reached a small clearing that had a beautiful view of the ocean where you both decided to take a short break. Ona passed you the water bottle she brought for you as you both sat on some rocks, taking in the view. 

“So,” she looked over to you, “what do you think of the trail so far?” 

“You know, you were right. I like this one a lot better than the last, the scenery is better for sure.” 

“Well don’t tell Mapi cause it was her idea and she doesn’t need her ego inflated anymore.” You laughed as she put an arm around your shoulders, pulling you into her so you could rest your head on her shoulder. The Catalan immediately pressed a kiss to the top of your head while you just sat, lost in thought, taking in the peace and quiet.

You appreciated how Ona helped you get out of your comfort zone and expand your world. She could push you to do things you never normally would while still making sure you were comfortable. 

As it often did, your girlfriend’s voice broke you from your thoughts, “Should we start to head back so we make it in time for dinner?” 

You gave her a nod and she loosened her arm around you, both knowing that you’d be the first to start complaining once you got hungry. Once you stood up, you offered Ona your hand, pulling her up to join you, giving her a quick kiss as soon as she did. Her lips chased yours, not wanting to separate for long. You smiled deeply, loving how she could never get enough of you as she wrapped an arm around your waist, pulling you in tight for a longer kiss. 

The two of you only separated when you heard another pair of hikers approaching, grinning at each other as you did so. “Shall we?” Ona offered you her hand and began to lead the two of you back in the direction you came from. 

You appreciated the peacefulness of the hike back. The sun had lowered slightly in the sky and was casting a new set of shadows across your path, illuminating the scenery in a new way. The new lighting made you take notice of things you hadn’t seen before on your way out- more flowers, more little rodents scampering down the trees next to you. It was beautiful. For a second you were almost enjoying the idea of hiking. 

At some point along the way, you noticed that at every split in the path Ona would stop and look around for a while before continuing picking which way to go. It seemed at first  like she was just taking in the view, just as you were doing, but her pauses became longer and longer the further you went. You started to take notice of this but figured she must have a reason. Ona knew what she was doing, she went on hikes somewhat regularly, so she would definitely know the way back better than you would.  

When you realized that you had been walking for an hour and a half and still saw nothing but trees ahead of you, concern started to wash over you. “Oni, you know the way back, yes?” 

Your girlfriend stopped briefly and gave you a look, eyebrows raised, “Of course I do. I just wanted to take a little different route back so we could see some more of the trail. Is that okay?”

”Of course, it’s beautiful. I’m glad we get to see a bit more of it.” You smiled at her, reassured that the change in route was intentional. Ona didn’t seem to return your smile as she turned back to the trail and continued to lead you forward. 

You continued to walk, keeping a close eye on Ona’s face as you did so, trying your best to read her thoughts. Her face would scrunch up in confusion at times as she tried to hide the way she continued to look around, trying to figure out her surroundings. The longer you walked, the more sure you were that you were lost. Your girlfriend didn’t realize how clearly her feelings showed on her face so it was becoming obvious to you how confused she was as she continued to try to find her way back to the car. 

After it had been about another half hour, you gave her hand a tug, making her stop to look back at you, a serious look across your face. “Oni, we’re lost.” You were surprised to see her roll her eyes in response, apparently ready to get defensive. Hoping to calm her down some, you lifted her hand in yours to place a soft kiss on the back of it. “It’s okay, just let me help you find our way back.”

“We’re not lost! I can get us back just fine!” she snapped at you before sighing heavily, apparently annoyed at you for questioning her. “I have snacks if you’re hungry or something but you need to trust me. I know what I’m doing!” she dropped your hand and started forward again, not bothering to look back at you. 

Even though you knew she was serious, it was so hard to take your girlfriend’s anger seriously. Especially with how she was now stomping down the path, it was like watching an angry toddler. She couldn’t help it, she was just so cute. When she offered you snacks in the middle of being mad at you, it was hard to take her bad mood personally. You smiled softly to yourself while continuing behind her

. 

As you followed her closely, you secretly pulled up the trail map on your phone. Ona made it clear she was frustrated that you questioned her but you just wanted to make sure you made it back before dark. 

When you came to another divide in the road, she stopped, eyebrows knit together, trying to decide which way was right. You wanted to stay quiet but when she tried to lead you the exact opposite direction from the car, you had to speak up. 

“Love, I think we need to go this way.” You tried your best to speak gently, not wanting to upset her any further. The trail map said that if you took the path you were suggesting, you’d only have a couple more minutes until you reached the car, much closer than either of you realized. Certainly it would be a much quicker way back than the way Ona was trying to currently lead you, directly away from the car. At this point you were just waiting for her to give up her stubbornness and agree that you were right. 

You didn’t notice the small smile that had crept onto your face as you both stood in a deadlock, staring at each other, until she finally broke.

“Stop smirking at me, I'm mad at you!” this time you definitely laughed at her as she was one step away from an actual tantrum. “Amorrrrrrrr, stop laughing at me.”

“Oni, you know I love you. And I’m sorry for laughing at you. But if we go this way, we’re literally less than five minutes from the car.” You took her hands in yours, calming her slightly as you spoke. The Catalan’s eyes were on the ground, seemingly ashamed to have gotten you lost on what should’ve been an easy hike. “Why don’t we head back to the car, we can grab some dinner, and then we’ll go back to my place and do the usual.” Ona finally looked up at you, confused by what you meant. “You know, the usual. We eat snacks, sit on the couch, ignore the TV, and make out.”

Your comment got a smile from her, the first one you’d seen in at least an hour. She gave you a shy nod, still not fully past the shame of leading you astray for the last two hours. “Oni, give me a hug.” Your girlfriend didn’t need to be told twice, launching herself into you without a second thought.  

She held you tightly, clearly needing the hug more than you realized, before she mumbled into your shoulder, “sorry for getting us lost.” “It’s okay, love. Just don’t tell Mapi cause she’ll never let you hear the end of it.” You gave her a short kiss before grabbing her hand again, this time taking the lead yourself and successfully making your way back to the car.

Masterlist

Feedback and requests are always welcome! :)

[sttoru]

𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐓𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒 '𝐍 𝐁𝐔𝐋𝐋𝐄𝐓𝐒, CHAPTER I: you finish your last lecture of the day and head to get dinner before returning to your dormitories. you stumble upon an injured figure on your way home, laying in a dimly lit alley. despite the fear in your heart, you decide to reach out towards the unknown man in need of help.

wc. 3.7k

tags. assassin!toji x female reader. sfw; fluff-ish, angst. reader's best friend oc appearance (yona). mentions of murder, blood, knives, anxiety. general warnings for all parts of the series: size difference. age gap (reader early 20's, toji early 30's).

ten seconds. you shut down your laptop and close it. nine seconds. you put your laptop in your tote bag. eight seconds. you close your books and do the same. seven seconds. you put your coat on. six seconds. you check your phone for any messages.

five seconds. you’re thinking about what to eat once you arrive home. four seconds. you decide on a pack of noodles. three seconds. you realise that you’ve ran out of them. two seconds. you make up your mind to go to your local supermarket. one second. you stand up from your seat.

“..that’s all, students. have a nice day and i’ll see you at our next lecture.”

a sigh of relief escapes your lips. you’re finally freed from the shackles of your statistics class. not like you’ve paid much attention to what your professor had been yapping about anyway. it was too boring. the daydreaming you did about your potential future boyfriend and all the cheesy romantic stuff you’d do together was all the more important.

“earth to my best friend,” your friend’s voice snaps you back into reality. you look to your side and find yourself apologising for not hearing her the first time. yona chuckles and waves her hand dismissively.

“i asked if you had any plans after the lecture,” she continues whilst scrolling through her phone. you take a peek at her screen and notice that she’s already looking up available restaurants in the area.

you’re grateful that she’s looking out for you in her own way, but you’ve already made up your mind. a pack of your favorite ramen noodles will fill you for tonight. you’re low on cash this month anyway. a fancy restaurant would have you surviving on water for the rest of the week.

“ah, i actually do. gotta go grocery shopping ‘n stuff,” you pout apologetically before buttoning up your coat. yona nods in understanding, knowing the struggles of being a college student.

“aww, all right. we’ll go next time then,” she replies with a smile.

you walk out of the building with your friend by your side, chatting about how boring the lecture was. of course, you also learn all about the recent gossip around campus. yona is practically your plug for that.

“did you hear about that one girl that allowed her boyfriend to stay with her in her dorm room for a whole month and then got snitched on by her roommate?” yona snickers, not caring if anyone around you could hear the gossip.

you raise an eyebrow in surprise. your university has strict rules about guests staying over in the dormitories. they can spend a day or two, but you’d have to sign them in. plus the resident assistants usually check the rooms for any unusual activity every other week.

to hear someone had gotten away for a whole month is quite a surprise.

“he could’ve stayed for longer if it wasn’t for the roommate snitching,” yona continues and rolls her eyes. she takes a quick snack from her bag and bites into it.

you shake your head and shrug, making sure you don’t trip and fall down the stairs whilst you’re talking, “guess the roommate got enough of the random man in their room. i mean—they pay for that room as well. not like the girl is the only one living there.”

yona nods and turns a right. you follow, your eyes scanning the busy hallways. some students are rushing between the crowd to catch their train and others are making their way to their next two hour lecture. those poor souls.

“mhm. i wouldn’t wanna live with a man i don’t know either,” yona eventually adds after swallowing the last bite of her snack, “let alone for a whole month.”

she throws the wrapper in a nearby garbage can—which is overly full already. talk about a ‘hygienic’ school.

“right,” you shiver as the thought gets put into your head. a random man living with you. . . sounds like a nightmare. you’ve heard enough stories about how dirty they can be. in both the physical and mental aspects.

after some walking - and getting annoyed by random people who block your way due to how slow they’re moving - you reach the exit of the building. yona stretches her arms and grabs her phone before turning to you.

“anyway, see you later, hun!” she enthusiastically gives you a hug. you return the affectionate gesture with a gentle smile, rubbing her back. you exchange your last words before both going your own ways.

music plays in your ears as you walk down the street. the wind blows against your face. it’s a cold day. you wouldn’t be surprised if it were to rain in a bit.

‘gotta be fast’, you think. you are not carrying an umbrella with you, so you’d have to hurry back with your groceries. your legs pick up their pace and pass all traffic as fast as they can.

it takes you quite a while to get to your destination. that’s the drawback of living in such a packed city like tokyo. there is no way to move, especially in the evening, when everyone is returning home.

you reach a crosswalk and wait for the light to turn blue. whilst you’re waiting next to a bunch of people, your eyes wander across the scenery. from the huge billboards to your right to the multiple cars to your left.

your gaze stops at one specific billboard. it’s playing some of the latest news. a recent incident had taken place just a few kilometres north from your university. three people had been found cruelly murdered in their apartments.

the definite cause of their deaths is still unknown. there wasn’t any sign of a forced entry, even when reports say that all three victims had been killed in the same way.

they speculate that the person involved must have been quite skilled—someone who’s done this multiple times before. there are absolutely zero traces of them left neither. the only reason they’re able to conclude that it is indeed a homicide, are the similar wounds left on the victims’ bodies.

another comment from the investigation team shows that there might be a survivor who’s escaped the cold blooded killer. that person is now considered missing.

the police are still thoroughly investigating the matter; that’s all you get to know before the news reporter moves on to the next subject.

you look down at your shoes. such scary stuff does make you afraid. you’re living on your own after all. you’d be less scared if you had a roommate, but you currently don’t.

some call you lucky for that since it’s a rare occurrence, yet you still wish you had someone living with you. that would make walking back home at night less stressful.

the increase of footsteps around you makes you realise that the light turned blue—a sign for you to cross the street. you eventually reach the other side. you tilt your head back, anxiously staring at the sky.

‘please don’t, please don’t, please don’t,’ you chant in your head. like the weather is going to listen to your desperate pleas. you rush inside of the supermarket.

you’ve been here often enough to know which products are in what aisle. you scurry over to the ramen, grabbing two packs. you get a few snacks along the way. unhealthy crap, that’s what you’re surviving on.

you stand in line at the cashier. you tap your shoe and bite your lip, your gaze fixated on the sky outside. you beg god to give you just a few more minutes. a few more minutes of drought.

you check your phone and go through your recent notifications to kill time. you swipe left on almost all of them—none being time sensitive or urgent anyway.

you greet the cashier politely once it’s your turn and allow him to scan your products for you. you await for him to announce your total before handing him your debit card. your eyes flicker over to the television hanging right behind the cashier’s head.

that gruesome news again. twice in a row. you shiver and try not to think about it. your mind is already overthinking the entire thing; what if you’re next?

well, that should be the least of your worries. you grab the plastic bag and walk to the exit of the supermarket, taking a deep breath. what you actually should be worried about is getting home dry.

“just my luck,” you mutter under your breath. your prayers are left unanswered as the first few drops of rain fall on your head. you kiss your teeth in annoyance.

you can’t help but silently agree as a couple walks past you, complaining about the sudden change of weather. you watch as a few more people rush past you with their bags above their head.

looking at the bright side of things, you won’t be the only one who’s running home with a bag as a shield against the rain and wind.

you take a deep breath again and mentally prepare yourself for the quick journey you’re going to make. you look to the left and then the right. when the coast is clear, you dash into the direction of your dormitory.

the rain is not letting up. you rush past a few people, those carrying umbrellas walking the slowest of them all. ‘damn them’, you think, ‘they have it the easiest right now.’

you turn a corner and nearly bump into a woman. you politely apologise before continuing your little run home. damp droplets run down your forehead. the rain is already starting to block your vision.

you tightly hug your tote bag to your chest with one arm. the last thing you want is for your laptop to get water damage. you’ve wasted tons of money on that thing to help you get through college.

you look down at the plastic bag with your food. that’ll survive. at least you think it will.

you squint. the rain is only getting worse and thus your blurry vision will as well. you try blinking the water away, but end up making it worse for yourself.

great.

your shoes are going through it. the deep puddles you’ve run through leave the material moist and you can already feel the droplets seep into your socks.

greaaat.

you turn a left. this narrow street is one you hate to be near when it’s dark. it’s a fast shortcut, but also a scary one since it’s isolated from the bustling main streets.

you think back to the cruel news you’ve heard earlier. scary images flash through your mind. your heart races a thousand miles per hour. you once again make up a doom scenario that could possibly happen.

what if the killer on the run is going after you next?

it doesn’t make sense, logically, but everything is possible now that your anxiety has overtaken your rational thoughts. you have no connections to those victims and yet you think you’re next.

you are next.

you whimper out of fear. it feels like the walls of this narrow street are closing up on you the faster you run. you look over your shoulder, excepting someone to be there—following you.

no one is there. you turn your head again and run as fast as you can. if only you had someone with you. someone who’d console you and tell you that there’s nothing to be afraid of.

that’s the worst thing about the entire situation: nobody seems to pass by this backstreet. the only things that could possibly give you any sense of comfort are the random boxes and trash laying around.

time seems to slow down once you see the end of the backstreet. there’d actually be people once you make it through. you gulp and give yourself the motivation to get over there without scaring yourself any further.

the shadows looming over you due to the lack of lightning in this alleyway creep you out. the entire atmosphere is eerie—like something or someone can jump out of those shadows and grab you by the ankles. drag you into the darkness and finish you off there.

you want to return to those vibrant lights you know so bad. you do.

your eyes are so intensely focused on the end of the streets to the point that you forget your surroundings. it’s already too late to realise that you’re tripping over something. you process that you’ve lost your balance when you’re already mid-fall.

your body lands on the wet ground with a loud thud. luckily enough, your hands touched the concrete first, softening the fall for your head. you grunt and groan; it still hurt.

your ears pick up on the sound of running water. your head lays right next to a broken pipe that’s leaking water onto the pavement. cold droplets fall in a rushed rhythm.

“ah, fuck.”

your eyes widen. the sound of a man behind you sends a shiver down your spine. is that why you tripped? did he make you trip?

‘i’m so done,’ you conclude quietly. it’s probably the killer you’ve heard about—the one who’s coming for you next. just like you had thought.

you shut your eyes tightly, awaiting the strike that would finish you. like the wounds that had finished the other victims. though, it never comes. the stabbing doesn’t happen.

the only thing you can pick up on is heavy breathing. low grunts, barely audible. the sound of cloth ripping. a man mumbling under his breath.

you sit up on your knees and look over your shoulder. slowly, little by little.

the revealed sight is like a dream. or a nightmare. you don’t know which it is. perhaps a mixture of both.

all you know is that this is the last thing you expected to see. the last thing you expected to experience today. you feel your heart drop and you freeze in place.

you’ve seen your own fair share of blood, but this is simply too much. it’s like time has stopped for you. like time has stopped inside of this backstreet.

the world outside of this alleyway continues moving. the people keep walking, chatting and living their lives. the rain keeps falling. as if nothing is occurring at the moment.

as if there is no bloodied man on the dirty ground, leaning against the wall, with crimson stained hands clutching his abdomen. his wet bangs cover his eyes which makes his identity even more mysterious.

you probably tripped over his leg that’s stretched out in front of him; also bloody. you feel bad for not noticing him earlier. your own selfish desires to get out of this alley caused you to overlook a person in need of urgent aid.

you don’t think twice before reaching out towards him. it’s like your body moves on its own command—not waiting for your brain to figure out what to do.

“oh my god,” you’re shaking badly, but your body crawls closer to the injured figure. you don’t think twice. something you have always taught yourself to do before diving into unfamiliar situations.

not right now, however. you don’t hesitate to check up on the stranger. if you didn’t see his chest moving with each shaky breath, you’d have concluded that he’s dead.

“s-sir?” you panic. what do you do? you’ve never landed in such a predicament before. you look to your left and then to your right. no one to help you nor the bloodied man.

he doesn’t reply to your voice. that further worsens your anxiety. your eyes wander down towards the man’s abdomen. the wound was deep and painful, that much you can tell from the way he’s holding tightly onto it.

a bullet wound? you’re not sure.

right—the piece of cloth he’s keeping against the wound. that’s what you do to try and stop the bleeding. the warm red liquid stains the man’s baggy pants. his black shirt is nearly ripped to shreds, the material hanging on by a thread. literally.

“uhm, uh,” you look around and spot your bag on the floor. in a puddle. you pray that your laptop has made it. you don’t recall having anything with you that could help treat wounds.

you gulp and hastily take off your scarf. you carefully kneel in front of the half-conscious man. his head is held low. you don’t know if he can even hear you.

you reach your hand out towards him, aiming for his own bloody hands that hold onto his abdomen. you cringe due to the sight, but try your best to be of assistance.

the man hisses the moment you touch the his hand. your fingers stop mid-air, not wanting to touch him if he didn’t want to.

what am i thinking?

now is not the time for that. he’s bleeding out and you have this urge to get him to safety as soon as possible. even if you’re internally panicking because of the huge responsibility that fate has suddenly assigned you.

“i’ll call an ambulance. please hold on,” you try to be reassuring, however your choked up voice betrays your true feelings. you change the old cloth with your scarf, pressing it tightly against his injury.

you fish out your phone from your pocket using your other hand. the rain makes it hard to do anything. your screen is wet, your vision blurry. you type in the first number of the emergency services.

suddenly, a bigger hand swats yours, causing your phone to go flying to the other side of the street. you watch with wide eyes as your cellphone comes to a stop right next to a big puddle of rain.

you whip your head to the direction of the injured figure in front of you. the man tries to lifts his head, slowly, so he could look you in the eye. your heart stammers in your chest.

“sir, you’re bleeding out, you need to—“

“i don’t need anythin’.”

you don’t dare to move nor let out a single breath. you can feel the tip of a sharp blade rest under your chin—nearly penetrating the flesh. one wrong move and you will lose your life.

the man had moved too fast for you to even process. you don’t know how you even ended like this. with a bloody knife to your throat and an unknown man’s face right up against yours.

“leave,” the stranger demands. you know he’s not to be messed with, even in his weakened state, “i don’t need y’r help.”

his voice sounds rough. deep and raspy. it shakes you to your core—makes you listen to what he has to say. it’s hypnotising. a gust of wind blows over the both of you.

his bangs move and your gaze finally meets his. the background noises fade for a split second. your entire focus is on those beautiful emerald orbs staring into your own eyes. they’re gorgeous.

they're gorgeous; even if they lack that sparkle of life. his eyes tell stories—the rough journeys this man probably had to endure throughout the years. you’ve never seen such a sight. it tugs at your heartstring and urges you to help him.

you don’t know where these feelings came from, but amidst your anxiety, there’s an underlying desire to take care of him.

you shake your head, showing your unexpected defiance. you’re playing with fire. you know that all too well and yet you don’t care.

“no. i won’t leave,” your breath hitches. you notice the dangerous glint in the man’s eyes. he looks like he’s going to lose consciousness any second now. though his grip on the knife tells another story, “i won’t leave you alone. not like this.”

the injured stranger grunts in annoyance, but also in pain. your persistence makes him want to shove you to the side. to leave this place already and find a way out on his own. he doesn’t want your help.

he may actually need it, but he does not want to accept it.

despite those thoughts, he’s too weak. way too weak. he doesn’t like being weak. feeling weak is not his thing. vulnerability doesn’t suit him.

“you have a fuckin’ death wish,” the man scoffs. he doesn’t know how much longer he can hold onto consciousness, but that is the last thing he cares about. he wants you gone. out of sight.

you stay in place. even through his chilling death threats. you can feel the blade start to invade the first layer of your skin. it hurts already. normally, you would’ve run. you want to. your mind tells you to get the hell out, but your heart and body yells at you to stay.

“i’ll give ya three seconds,” the stranger continues. he’s close. so close that you can feel his hot breath against your freezing cheeks. it’s intimidating, however not enough to scare you away.

the tighter your grip on the scarf against his abdomen, the tighter his grip on the handle of the knife. time will tell who’ll win this battle.

“three.”

the countdown starts. you swallow your own spit. the rain has you completely drenched. you catch a glimpse of the puddle underneath you both. the colour of it a light red as the man’s blood flows and mixes with the clear water.

“two.”

his voice is quieter than before. he’s losing his strength, but is stubborn enough to firmly keep the knife below your chin. you’re sure that your own blood is already trickling down the shiny metal.

the man’s lips part to announce the last number. your last chance. your final opportunity to escape and act like you have never seen him. you can go back to your normal life—continue living in your own world. the one you are familiar with.

one without this unknown man. this man with an aura of a cold hearted killer.

you fingers curl tightly against the scarf pressed against his wound. you refuse to let up. even if it means your own death. your eyes close—cold damp droplets roll down your cheeks. you don’t know if they’re your tears or if it’s just the pouring rain.

you hear a low, frustrated groan. he sounds so close yet so far from you. you can feel the man’s arm move to adjust his grip. probably to try and flawlessly puncture your jaw.

if only you accepted to eat out with your friend. if only you turned around and went back to your dorm the moment you knew it was going to rain. if only you didn’t take this shortcut today.

if only your fates hadn’t clashed.

“one.”

TO BE CONTINUED. . .

[sleepyangelkami]

Heyyy I haven’t requested anything in a while but the way you write Ellie is pure perfection so I had to request something and of course you don’t have to write it if you don’t want to :) but I was wondering if you could write something fluffy and domestic where reader is always taking care of Ellie, she makes sure Ellie eats well and gets enough sleep/rest gives her massages after patrol or if it’s cold reader makes sure Ellie stays warm making her wear proper winter clothing or something like that you know, but maybe she comes off as clingy or annoying according to some people and she thinks Ellie might think the same but that’s not the case

(Thank you in advance if you decide to write it!)

CHECK, CHECK, CHECK e.williams

 ☆ WORD COUNT - 3.2K

ELLIE WILLIAMS X FEM!READER

 ☆ SUMMARY -you've always been one to fuss over ellie, making sure she was warm enough or full enough or making sure her muscles didn't hurt too much after a particularly long patrol. ellie loved the way you fussed over her, constantly making an effort to assure both herself and yourself that she was always feeling just right. you knew she loved it until one day you questioned if she did.

 ☆ WARNINGS - ditzy!reader, suggestive joke, slight insecurity (r.), ellie not taking care of herself right, reader doing it for her, use of y/n, petnames, dina n jesse are kinda mean but they don't mean it, sensitive!reader, crying, intended lower case, nothing i write is ever proofread  🩷

fussing over ellie came as a second nature to you. the minute you'd gotten together you'd made it your personal responsibility to make sure ellie had everything that she needed. whether it was food, sleep, a massage, anything of the sort. you were there, with too many supplies in your hands, stumbling about like a fish out of water. always so ditzy, her clumsy girl.

but whatever you did, you made sure ellie's problem was fixed.

your eyes glanced to the lunch you'd packed ellie. check. then fishing through the bag and making sure she had everything. check. you could hear ellie coming down the stairs, dressed but still groggy. you glanced down to your watch to see the time. check. you'd done everything for ellie this morning, as you always did, making sure she got to sleep in extra and didn't have to do anything before going on patrol. "oh, baby." she spoke once she laid eyes on you, standing in front of your work. "you didn't have to."

"wanted to." you grinned, skipping your way over to where your girlfriend stood and leaning up to press a kiss to her cheek. as much as she reminded you that she didn't need all this, you'd always wave her off, stating that she deserved it. she was so good to you, it was only fair that you were the same back.

you handed her one of the little blue plates from the kitchen, two waffles sitting on it with her favourite syrup. "for me?" she seemed surprised, as if you hadn't done it every other day for her. that was the thing about ellie. she was so easy to please and not only that but when you did things for her over and over, she still never expected.

"'course, silly." you giggled. she fell in love a little bit more.

to ellie, you were the most bubbly girl she's ever met. always skipping and hopping around with that ditzy head of yours. you did everything for ellie, everything you could. yet, even when you were making her favourite meal, she was still putting a hand on the cupboard door to make sure you didn't slam your head against it.

ellie had been sitting at the little round table in the kitchen, her eyes glancing to where you sat next to her. your chin was resting in your hands, a little frown etched to your features. "what's got my sweet girl frownin'?" ellie questioned, her lips in a tight knit smile at you. you always had such a bright aura surrounding you, passing it on everywhere you went. when ellie woke up, seeing your face was enough to have any frown erased from her face, a big grin widening on her cheeks.

"your clothes." you mumbled, almost pouting at her.

"my clothes?" she wore a little smirk curving up at the left side of her lip. "you wanna take 'em off?"

you rolled your eyes, placing your chin on her bicep. "ellie, 'm being serious." you informed her. "you're gonna be so cold in that." she was clad in a black shirt, that was it.

she shrugged her shoulders. "I'll get my jacket." pressing a kiss to your lips. "nothing to worry your pretty little head about."

but you weren't sold. "gimme a minute." and you were already hopping up from the kitchen table. ellie tried calling your name, stating that it wasn't worth it and that it didn't matter but you were already making your way up the stairs. ellie couldn't help but sigh, you never did listen when it came to things like these. seconds later, you were reappearing in the room, this time with one of ellie's brown sweaters in your hands. "gonna need it."

"thank you angel." she spoke softly, her upper arm finding its way around your shoulder. she pulled you in, pressing a kiss against your forehead and you tried to ignore the way your cheeks flamed up. "but you know you really don't have to worry so much."

ellie said this because she doesn't like to think that you worry. i mean, she knows you worry. you'd worry either way, whether she wanted you to or not. this was shown to her the many times she'd returned from night patrol ten minutes late with you sitting on the couch, worried expression etched across your features as you ran up to her, questioning if she was alright and asking why it had taken so long, all while your eyes dragged over her skin, assuring yourself that she wasn't hurt in any way. you were the worrier while she was the warrior, she thought it was a cute mix. even so, she still didn't wish to see the way your brows knit together and your lips formed a pout. don't get me wrong, she still thought you were the most beautiful girl in the world, but you looked even more gorgeous when you relaxed and took a breath.

"I know." you mumbled, suddenly feeling flush. you knew ellie could take care of herself, there really was nothing to worry about but you just needed to make sure.

"hey." ellie spoke, noticing the way your face had fallen a little. "doesn't mean i don't appreciate everything you do for me, sweets, you're the best." pressing kisses all around your face and ignoring the way it scrunched up, focusing on the grin on your lips. "jus' wanna make sure you're not worrying about me so much that you forget to take care of the one who really matters." one last kiss to your nose. "you."

you rolled your eyes a little, hands folding in on themselves. "you're so cheesy, els."

it was her turn to roll her eyes. "you love it."

"maybe." and you did, you really did.

ellie moved to pick up the bag that was strewn across the kitchen counter. "i gotta run, you know how jesse is when i'm late." jesse was possibly the most sour yet loving boy in the world. "see you later, princess."

you returned her goodbye kiss in full, standing on your tippy-toes while she had her hands splayed across your face. "bye, els." and so, she was out the door.

the house suddenly grew awfully quiet.

you liked taking care of ellie, liked fussing and worrying over her. now that everything was in check, you suddenly had nothing to do with your day. you supposed you could go visit your good friend dina, if jesse was on patrol it was no doubt that she'd be bored too. perhaps you could go to the tipsy bison with her, sipping on the sprite they sell while she drinks the alcohol. you two were so different.

just as you smiled fondly, thinking about your favourite jewish girl, your eyes flickered to the lunch bag that sat on the counter.

oh no, ellie'd forgotten her lunch!

ellie stood by the stables, giving jesse a sharp eye as she unbuckled shimmer. "you don't know anything about women." she told him. "you and dina break up every week, me and y/n are never even arguing let alone breaking up."

"yeah, well," he rolled his eyes, trying to find the words. he was currently all fussy because she was a couple minutes late, when she'd told him it was because she was with you, he didn't seem so happy. "whatever, williams."

she smirked at him. "no comeback?" he stayed silent to which she could only chuckle to herself. jesse talked a big game that he could never keep.

"hey." squinting his eyes. "isn't that y/n right there?" at that, ellie whipped around, confusion evident on her face.

"els!" you were practically running towards the stables, out of breath and cold. but you'd wanted to get there before ellie had left, insuring she had food with her.

"yep." jesse nodded, chuckling as he took out his own horse. "there's your clingy clutz."

ellie threw a glare at him but before she could speak, you were in front of her. now that you were closer, she could see the redness of your nose and the slight shaking of your arms. in all your rush, you'd completely forgotten to cover yourself up. "what are you doing outside, baby? 's freezing." her gloved hands came up to your arms, rubbing them up and down to attempt to console you. truthfully, the snow on her gloves made it worse but it was her touch, you'd never refuse.

you breathed in and out, catching your breath. you held out the brown bag. "you forgot your lunch."

you heard the chuckle from her lips almost instantly as she took the bag into her hands. "thank you, bunny, would'a been starving." you nodded your head as your cheeks tinged pink. "now go get home, you're gonna catch a cold."

you giggled to yourself, feeling all floaty when talking to ellie. "okay, bye els." before she let you go, she grasped your arms, hauling you forward. she made sure to give you the tightest hug she could before murmuring one last 'thank you' then letting you go and bidding goodbye. "bye, jesse!"

the asian boy turned around, brows slightly raised. "what? no homemade meals for me?" you knew he was joking but you deflated a little.

"I could make you something next time, if you want?" shuffling your feet forward a little.

"i'm kidding." he shook his head. "but listen to your girlfriend, you're gonna get sick and if you get sick, ellie takes patrol off and i am not being stuck on patrol with max for the week." you giggled, giving ellie one last kiss to her cheek and bidding goodbye to both the pair. when you fled from the scene, jesse was shaking his head. "It's cute she cares about you and all but i could not handle dina running after me like that."

ellie scoffed, placing the brown paper bag in her bigger bag that held everything else. "lotta talk as if dina would go through the trouble." dina would never wake herself up that early on a tuesday morning just to insure jesse had a packed lunch.

he led the horse out by its lead. "love has made you cruel." he informed her, ignoring the way she rolled her eyes.

jesse was in love too, there was just a big difference between the way he loved dina and ellie loved you. jesse would die for dina, perhaps that says more about how disposable he views his life but ellie? ellie would kill for you. she'd take every drop of blood on her hands if it meant sparing your own. "you're just jealous."

but the next words that fell from his lips caused her to stop right in her tracks. "id' rather be known as jealous than clingy." the mutter caught her off guard.

it was said under his breath, as if she wasn't truly meant to hear it. "dude." she scoffed at him. "don't call her that, okay?" she didn't want to argue with jesse but then again, nobody was allowed to talk about you and just get left off the hook. sure, he probably hadn't meant it in a condescending way but it was jesse, he often didn't think before he opened his mouth. "she's not clingy, she's just good to me." rolling her eyes suddenly. "sorry you don't know what a healthy relationship looks like."

he placed a hand on his chest, offended. "what me and dina have is very healthy." one two weeks, off the next three, yeah, very healthy.

she huffed out a laugh at him, almost in shock. everyone was well aware that what dina and jesse had was not healthy. it was love, sure, but it wasn't healthy love. "as healthy as a rotten pear, jesse."

"oh wow." pushing his hands up in fake awe. "how long you been waiting to crack that one?"

she dragged shimmer by her lead. "can we just go?" the quicker they were, the quicker she could get back home, and home was wherever your sweet soul lay.

ellie knew to others you may seem like 'too much' people have commented on it, both to her and to you, sometimes even to you both while you're standing next to one another. you'd always feel deflated afterwards, trying to shrug it off as to not upset ellie but she knew how you could be, one minute inside your head and you were caught up in a loop.

of course, everyone in jackson always felt the need to comment on just about everything that didn't concern them. like other people's relationships and family feuds, ellie remembered when her and joel had fallen out and suddenly everyone was approaching her. "well, if i were you..." but that was the thing, they weren't her, they weren't you either, so ellie thought they should just learn to keep their noses where they belong which was not in your guy's business nor relationship. they'd often commented on how ellie 'acted like a man towards you' or that you were 'throwing away your life for her' many more things. often, they were targeted towards her. that was the thing about ellie williams. people in jackson either loved her or hated her, there never was an in between. they told her that she was forcing too much pda, or that the names she called you in public were merely inappropriate, so on, so on.

but ellie didn't care for what people said about her. if they wanted to talk, they'd talk. and that was exactly what everyone in jackson was good for, talking. yet never was the topic of discussion about themselves.

but what really got ellie mad, what genuinely made her blood boil and her eyes squint, the only time she'd ever lay hands on someone let alone merely yell at them. was when they talked about you. her precious girl.

ellie knew you better than anyone meaning she knew that when people talked, it got the better of you. you had the habit to stay inside your head for days on end, trying to scribble away what someone had said about you. she'd always notice it, her bubbly girl suddenly all deflated. you were her pride and joy, seeing a frown on your face could lurch her stomach.

but she also knew that you had the tendency not to talk back. when something was bothering you, your head being 'at' you. you kept it there. you didn't release it, you made sure that no one even knew who planted the seed in your head. merely because you thought it wasn't fair, if you said it out loud it was like talking about someone behind their back. you thought you were doing something wrong when all you were doing was feeling what your body was making you feel.

that's why now, as ellie lay on her stomach wearing only her sports bra, you straddling her bottom with your hands working your way through her muscles, she knew something was off.

perhaps your breathing pattern was different than usual, perhaps it was the way you hadn't said anything in minutes. or maybe it was the way your fingers were moving so softly against her tense muscles, not applying nearly as much pressure on her as you usually did.

she could tell, your mind was far away.

she'd asked you once she'd come home if you were alright, you seemed sort of off with her. but you shook your head, stating that all was okay.

before she could grill you more, you were taking her bag off her shoulder, jacket off her back and leading her up to the bedroom. it wasn't unusual for you to give her back massages after her patrols, while she didn't expect them, she sort of knew they were coming.

"okay." ellie sighed, not having any more of your silence. "up." you did as she said, confusedly albeit. you hovered from her backside, sitting on your knees.

ellie used this time to flip herself around, plopping you back down on her crotch and leaning up against the back of the bed frame. "els, what―"

her back was scrunched against the pillows, your hands folding in on you, confusion evident on your face. "what's wrong?" she deadpanned, though there was nothing but concern in her eyes.

suddenly, you were squirming. "told you, els, nothin'" the way your eyes couldn't look at her, staring down at the side dresser or the roof. your tell tale sign.

"hey." her fingers reached out, hooking around your chin and sort of forcing it forward. "look at me when you talk to me, yeah?" you nodded your head, dumbly. "now tell me what's wrong, i don' wanna hear your 'nothing's because somethings obviously wrong." her hands fell around your waist, hooking you close. "you're too quiet, baby."

you didn't tear your eyes away from her, scared she'd get frustrated. "'m sorry―" you started but ellie was quick to cut you off.

"no you're not, you're not sorry remember?" you'd had the talk with her multiple times. you weren't allowed to be sorry when you didn't do anything wrong. "jus' tell me whats wrong, wanna know what's upsetting my sweet girl."

you could feel the tears welling. this time when you looked away, she didn't drag your face back. she let you collect herself. "was jus' talking to dina today..."

ellie's face fell a little. "what did she say, baby?"

she'd placed a hand in yours, letting you fumble with her fingers. she caught you doing it before, seeing the way you couldn't stop your hands from moving about at one another and she decided that you could use hers instead. she let you play with her hands while you got nervous. it sort of just stuck. "she wasn't trying to be mean." you spoke, still defending your best friend. "sometimes, she jus' says stuff... like 'm clingy." you finally got it out. "'m too much, ellie." the first tear rolling down your cheek. "dina thinks 'm too much, jesse thinks 'm too much, you probably do too!"

"oh, honey." her face was looking at you all saddened, a coo falling from her lips. "you know i'd never think you're too much." she held you when you started to cry, your head in the crook of her neck, her sensitive baby. "jesse 'n dina don't know what they're talking about half the time, m'love." she pulled your head from her neck, letting you look at her. "wanna hear a story?" pathetically, you nodded. "today, me 'n jesse were walking the same roads we've been taking for years. and jesse still managed to forget there was a massive pole in the middle. so next time you see him you better tell him that the bump on his head is too much, it's practically weighing down his whole body."

you gently hit the girl. "els." you whined. "that's so mean." but you couldn't help but giggle at the thought of jesse with a large, red bump on the middle of his forehead.

"there she is!" grinning at the smile on your face. "need to see more of that pretty smile on that pretty face, m'kay?" you nodded at her, big doey eyes staring up at her. "words, baby." reminding you.

"okay, ellie." and your grin couldn't stop stretching.

your smile could be so big that it was occupying your entire face and still, to ellie it would be downright beautiful, never too much.

main masterlist/ellie's masterlist

[kelppsstuff]

I NEED part two of that cheating Adam fic

That actually made me cry and I desperately want that asshole to get what he deserves

..but what if Lucifer got to wife? Obviously, our dear ruler of hell seems to still be attached to Lilith, considering the ring he's still wearing, so what do you think will happen if he meets reader?

Omggggg, I’m so glad you enjoyed it! And yes Adam shall get what’s coming! And I hope you enjoy this chapter as well! Make sure to take care of your self and have a good day! 💛

“How long.” Part two

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | ALT ENDING

Masterlist

Taglist: @leathesimp @need-a-life-or-grass @biggdaddylonglegs @lululucii @pawstrey @lanny-fanny223 @goseew @adamsfavoritesinner

—

You had spent the five months crying at Emily home. Lilies would show up, your favorite flower. It made your heart ache even more. No matter where you go you couldn’t get far enough away from him.

Sera walked into the guest room you were staying. She looked over you as she thought of her next words. She was sure you would take the job, but would this be better for you? She didn’t know.

“Adam gave the go ahead of princess morningstar’s hotel.” You looked up from under the covers, interested in what she had to say. “We will need someone to overwatch the hotel. No one wants to go and I thought I would ask you.”

You took a breath, but even that felt caged. You were happy Sera gave you this choice of a job. “I’ll do it. Thank you Sera.”

—

You packed all the necessary things, and waited for the portal to hell to open. When you did walk through the portal you looked up at the red sky. As if the clouds were full of blood.

You extended your wings and started to take off where you could see the ‘Hazbin Hotel’ stand. You didn’t want to walk and risk anything bad. Sure you can hide your wings, but not your halo.

When you landed in front of the door, you admit you did feel nervous. You knocked on the door and a woman who had blonde hair and pink rosy checks opened the door. “Uhhh Vaggie!” Her voice was light but strong. Very admirable it felt like.

“Yes?!” Another stern female voice called out through the hotel. “There’s a angel at out door.” She looked to be panicking, so you smile I hope it’ll ease her nerves. I heard running before I saw her face. “What do you want Extermination isn’t for another month.”

“I suppose I should explain now. Adam.” Fuck saying his name hurt. “Has given the hotel a go ahead. The head seraphim sent me to overlook it.”

(Your pov)

The blonde grew stars in her eyes. She grabbed my wrist and immediately started to pull me throughout the entire hotel. “I have to give you a quick tour for now unfortunately. But my dad’s on the way and when he gets here I’ll give you a better tour with him.” She showed me the bar, and lounge that was pretty much it until there was a knock on the door.

“Okay that’s my dad everyone!” Everybody started to get in formation it seemed like. I leaned over to the deer who started to walk into the entry way. “Who’s that girls name?”

He smiled wide and me. “Why Charlie my good fellow.” Charlie? As in Charlotte. As in Morningstar. AS IN LUCIFER?! Oh my god. Before I could panic the doors opened and a shorter man gave Charlie a hug.

“Oh Charlie it is so good to see you!” He spoke with a smile as he let her go. He smiled at him and showed case the entrance. “Welcome to the Hazbin Hotel!” Confetti flew and conveniently it got all over me. Great. Charlie looked panicked for a second, but I payed no mind and I snapped my fingers, carefully getting rid of all of it.

Lucifer looked to the cat that was purring and walking through his legs. He bent down and had a baby voice. “Oh hey little Kiki.” Cute. He then looked to the two flying lambs. “Razzle n Dazzle. Aweee look how much you haven’t grown. Still fun size.” Can he be talking?

I turned my attention back to the deer who smiled menacingly towards the king of hell. I walked up to him and Lucifer started to check out the place. I placed my hand out to him and smiled. “My names Y/N.” The deer turned his head away from Lucifer and turned his smile to me, though it was less terrifying. “Alastor! Quite a pleasure darling, quiet a pleasure!” Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to have a few friends down here?

“I like your voice.”

“Yes, it’s quite perfect for my rad—“

“WHAT IN THE UNHOLY HELL IS THAT?!” I see our king has found the bar. Alastor smile tightened and he teleported through the shadows to where Lucifer was standing. “Just some of the renovations we had done. As a little color don’t you think?”

Lucifer eye brow rise as he asked, “and you are?” I walked over to one of the cookies as Alastor responded. “Alastor, quite a pleasure. You are much shorter than I expected.” I started to choke on the cookie. Bringing attention to me. “I-I’m fine.” I saw Lucifer eyes widen in panic. But he ignored me. For now.

“Is this the bellhop?” He pointed to the deer. “Of course not, I’m the host. You probably heard of me through my radio broadcasts.”

He put his hand to his chin and said “NOPE! I guess that’s why Charlie called in the Hazbin hotel. Ha! Ha! Ha!”

“Ha! Ha! Ha! It was actually my idea.”

“Ha! Ha! Ha! Well it’s not very clever.”

“Ha! Ha! Fuck. You.”

This is exactly what I needed. Pure entertainment.

—

As we started to get our hotel tour, Alastor got held up by some cat, and Charlie got distracted with Vaggie. Giving Lucifer the perfect time to talk to me. “Why are you here? Are these people so dense they can’t tell your an angel?”

I raised my brow, I see why Adam said he was a dick. “If you must know, Heaven gave the go ahead to the hotel just today?” Lucifer eyes widened. “What? How?”

“I believe it was your good friend Adam who gave the order.” His eyes narrowed as he looked at me.

“And are you one of his exterminator pet?” Asshole. “No I’m his wife. Well actually I don’t know? Am I still his wife?” I started to go off, talking to myself completely blocking out Lucifer. A habit I’ve always had.

“Adam re-married?” Now I seemed to have a bit more of his interest. “Why do you care? Trying to go 3 for 3?” I said sarcastically.

“Would you like me too?” We both stopped walking. My eyes widened and when I slowly turned to look at him I noticed his did as well. “I’m sorry I didn’t mean that! Well like not in a like ‘that would never happen way’ but more like ‘it came naturally and unintentionally way.’ And fuck I should stop talking now shouldn’t I—?”

“Yes.” I could feel blood rising to my cheeks, giving me a golden glow. His eyes narrowed to my golden hue cheeks and for a moment I swear his eye had a sparkle, even just a second.

“You bleed gold.” He spoke after a long silence.

“I do.” I am an angel.

“I did too, look at that, we have something in common!” I raised my brow, it was the same tactic he gave his daughter.

“Like how you and your daughter both like girls?” Now it was my turn to see his golden hues.

—

Lucifer had decided to stay in the hotel to grow closer to Charlie. During the duration of the last three weeks we had also gotten closer. I had explained to him that Adam and I were no longer together even though I still wore our wedding ring.

It had been three weeks since I had been in heaven. Three weeks since I entered this hotel. I hadn’t thought too much about Adam in my stay here. Though it appeared today was the day I broke tradition.

Me and Adam had spent years on years on years together. I missed his golden eyes, and I missed his stupid humor, and I had missed him. That made his betrayal all the worse. Every-time I missed him, the memory of him and Lilith came. It wasn’t fair to me. Why was I tormented because I was a faithful wife?

I suppose my saddening thought were clear on my face. “What’s wrong?” Lucifer asked, sitting on the bed next to me. We were in his room, he was making ducks while I became self-depressed. “It’s a long story.” He smiled in understanding, “good thing I have an eternity with nothing better to do.”

“You know me and Adam are no longer together.” He nodded his head at the un-new information. “But you don’t know why.” I cleared my throat and began to tell him. “Adam had cheated on me with Lilith for seven years. And he talks about how sinners could never come to heaven, and yet he let her through the gates himself.” I rushed out the words, but as Lucifer’s eyes widened I knew he heard me.

“Lil-Lilith is in heaven?” His voice broke. “Didn’t you know?” The whole reason I never mentioned her was because I had thought he knew all this time.

He shook his head as tears began to form in his eyes. He loved Lilith and he still does. I didn’t doubt for a second he needed comfort.

I wrapped my hand around him and brung him in for a hug. He clung to me and cried. The only word he spoke was ‘why?’. The same question I had asked since the minute I found out.

“DAD?!” Charlie knocked on the door frantically. We immediately situated ourselves and when he opened the door, we look good as usual. “Yes, Charlie?”

She was panting but her words came out clear as day. “The extermination is still on, and it’s happening next week!”

What the actual fuck?!

—

We got a meeting set up with Heavens high court the next day. I was surprised they allowed Lucifer through the gates as well. The only rule was people of heaven couldn’t know it was him, so he couldn’t go introducing himself as, ‘hi I’m Lucifer, ruler of hell. Your are?’

We walked behind Vaggie and Charlie as Emily and Saint Peter showed everyone around heaven.

Lucifer looked around all the building and shined a big bright smile my way. It was nice to see that sparkle in his eyes, especially when it was so rare too. I was to busy talking with Lucifer I hadn’t even noticed we passed Adam and Lute.

(Third POV)

Adam spat out his drink as he saw Y/N and Lucifer walking smiling at each other. The fuck was HIS wife doing walking that fucking duck-Imp face?

“What the fuck is he doing here?” He asked Lute as if she had all the answers. “I don’t know what they’re doing here sir.”

“It doesn’t even matter, I’m fucking ending this shit now. No way is he getting her.” Adam went to go after them but Lute grabbed ahold of him. “Do you want a fight between first man and the devil in the middle of heaven?!” Adam didn’t even need to think about it the answer was yes.

“Better than waiting for the fucking extermination.” Lute was quick to sush Adam. “What was the extermination one rule?” Adam grounded out like a child. “No one but the exterminators can know about it.” He took a long sip of his drink before speaking up again. “Don’t fucking sush me bitch.”

A light formed behind him, revealing Sera. “You should listen to her more often Adam, maybe then you’d still have your wife.” Sera didn’t know the details only that Adam cheated and Lute tried to stop him. “Fuck Sera you can’t sneak up on a guy like that. Also don’t bring her into this.”

Sera rolled her eyes. “Lucifer set up a meeting for his misguided daughter. I want you to put an end to her silly beliefs.”

Adam shook his head to the taller angel. “No can do, I don’t want Y/N mad at me for the rest of eternity.” Sera glared down at the first man. “You’ll do this unless you want Y/N banished. With Lucifer.”

Rage came across Adam eyes at Sera’s threat, but his mask did a good job in hiding it. “I’ll handle it.” His voice was so cold, even Sera got nervous. She obviously didn’t mean she would actually banish Y/N but it was one of the only ways to get Adam to do his work.

— (Y/N pov) —

I laid on the bed as me and Lucifer walked in our shared room. We had gotten to rooms in the hotel. One for Charlie and Vaggie. The other for me and Lucifer. We wouldn’t be staying the night, so it wasn’t like we were sleeping in the same bed.

“She’s here, Y/N.” Lucifer voice filled the silence. “What should I do?” His voice was soft and his expression was delicate.

“You should go see her.” I may not like the woman but he still does love her. “If you don’t you may regret it.” His eyes drifted away from me and to the window. “Everything is so much different now. I wouldn’t even know where to look.” I couldn’t help him. I didn’t know where she lived. The only reason I knew Adam was with her was because of Lute. Though I swore I wouldn’t sell her out.

“Do you miss it here?” Dumb question, but a reasonable one to ask. “Yeah. I miss seeing the good.” I turned his head to me and looked into his beautiful crimson eyes. “You see it everyday in the mirror.”

I don’t know who leaned in first. I don’t know who kissed who first but I knew we were kissing. And I knew I liked it.

A knock pulled us away from each other I hurried to open the door, thinking Charlie needed something. But my suspicions were wrong as Adam walked past me and into the room. He looked to me and even with his mask on I could see the fury in his eyes. He turned to Lucifer and that when I saw it. My lipstick had smudge on his lips. My eyes widened as Lucifer stood up. Adam gave him one more glance, and I for sure thought he was going to try and kill him, but he didn’t. Instead he gave him a little paper as he turned his body to me and kept his eyes on me the whole time he spoke.

“That’s the address you’ll find Lilith.” Lucifer was about to speak up but Adam cut him off. His voice still calm as ever, but I knew the wrath behind his voice. “You don’t have long until court. I suggest you get a move on while I have a talk with my own wife.”

Lucifer looked to me and I nodded my head. He needed to see Lilith, to at least get closure. He gave one last glance to Adam and walked out the door.

“What do you want?” My voice was shaky even though I tried to harden it. “What do I want?” His voice still calm as he started to walk to me. “I want you back home. I want you back in my bed when I wake up. I want you at my concerts cheering me on again. I want your smile. I want every part of you.” He backed me into the wall and put his hands on my cheek. “And trust me my love. I will have what I want.” I closed my eyes as he rested his head against mine.

“Why are you here. I said I needed time and space.” My voice still in a whisper.

“I gave you six moths, and as for space, you want to hell. Not sure you can get farther than that.” He did have a point, but I still didn’t know how I felt anymore. “I came to tell you, that Sera wants me to end this hotel. At any cost.” The one thing I asked for is what he’s about to end.

“And you’ll just do it no questions asked? Of course.” I scoffed, rolling my eyes. I tried to move my head out of his hands but they tightened.

“Yes. No questions asked, because it’s your banishment on the line. I will face god himself for you. I would do anything to keep you happy and safe, so if I have to make you hate me while doing so? So be it.” He says sternly making sure to look in my eyes. Good talk for someone who cheated.

“You cheated. You don’t get to act like you care now.” I pushed him away and started to walk to the window looking out it, rather than him. “I do care. More than anything.”

“And while I’ve been away? How many vista have you given Lilith? Or any other girl for that matter?” He couldn’t go one day without getting his dick wet.

“Unless I went to the office, I’ve been at home. Ask Sera.”

“You cheated. YOU CHEATED! How am I supposed to forgive you for that?” Adam slowly shook his head. “And while you’ve been away, how many visits have you given Lucifer?” He had a right to assume considering my lipstick was still smudged, I’ll admit that.

“He treats me good!” He had became someone I could rely on. “I treat you good. Yes I fucked up. Not a day goes by that I don’t hate myself for it. And even if you do forget and forgive, I’ll still hate myself. I promise you, I feel more disgusted than you ever could.” He grabbed my hand and showed me my wedding ring. “But you see that babe? we promised through lows and highs we’d make it through. Together.”

I felt like crying, he had a point. We vowed to be together no matter what. But he was unfaithful, he broke those vows first. I couldn’t forgive that. Ever.

“We’ll talk again. I promise. I’ll see you in court.” He kisses my hand with my ring finger. “I love you.” And he walked out. Leaving me alone with nothing but my thoughts.

Why did I miss Adam already?

How is Lucifer doing with Lilith?

Me and Lucifer kissed.

How will court go?

Can we win the trial?

Fuck what now?

—

HIIIIIIIII! So I will say that the first time writing this it got deleted. Sooo I’m sorry if it feels a little rushed. I had also gotten another request so I may come out with that one before the next and final part, or I may not. I really hope you enjoyed this part as I had a lot of fun writing it.

- kelp 💛

Taglist

[baby-yongbok]

I Promise

Han Jisung x Reader

▹Genre: Angst - the type that makes you shed a tear

▹Summary: Jisung finally realizes what he's been putting you through and he vows to fix it.

▹Word Count: 1.8k

▹Warnings: Description of a panic attack

▹This One shot was Inspired by the song Til u say i go by NIve

✧ Masterlist ✧

“Stop saying that. Stop saying that this isn’t working, why are you giving up so easily?” The vase of wilted roses on the dining table shook as Jisung’s tightly closed fists banged lightly against the mahogany. You feel something like the roses in front of you, what was once a beautiful and vibrant gift from the lover sitting across from you is now a wilted reminder of what once was. You’re tired, burnt-out.

“You think this is easy for me? This is the hardest thing that I’ve ever had to do but I’ve had more than enough time to think about this. I’ve had more than enough lonely nights to know that I am sick and tired of this desolate feeling in my chest.” You rise to your feet quicker than you intended, you turn away from the man in front of you as tears well up at your waterline. 

“I’m doing what I can, you know that I’m doing what I can. You knew how this would go, you knew that I’d be busy, that my schedule would be packed. I promised you that I’d come home when I can and I have kept that promise -”

“ - you’ve been at the dorms more than you’ve been in this kitchen. You’ve slept there more than you have ever slept here, I’m sure that you have more clothes in your closet there than you do here, so are you really keeping your promise?” The exasperated sigh that falls from Jisungs lips as your feet lead you through the threshold leading to the living room is all the answer you need.

“You’re not being very fair. You know how busy it’s been, I only just got back to Seoul today, we’ve been all over the place, I’ve been all over the place.” He stares at you from the same threshold that you crossed moments ago. “I wasn’t aware that you felt so…”

His wide eyes meet your glassy ones as you allow the tears that you’ve been holding back to spill over your puffy lids like a glass filled to the brim. He steps towards you and with each pitter patter of his bare feet against the hardwood you feel that overflowing glass inching closer to the edge of shattering.

“Tell me.” You allow him to cup your cheek, the rough pad of his thumb wipes a stray tear as he continues to whisper. “Tell me everything that you’ve been keeping in there.” 

His other hand rests over your heart for just a second before the palm finds a home against your other cheek. You can feel his faint trembling against you and it’s only now that you notice the erratic pattern of his breathing. 

“Do you know how long the nights feel when I’m in that big bed all by myself?” Your lids flutter shut at the sound of your own whisper and you can feel it all coming up, word vomit with an untitled emotion, it's right at the back of your throat. Too thick to swallow. “I’ve stopped making the bed at this point, I stopped buying groceries to accommodate your presence because you’re never at the dinner table anymore.” 

Your voice starts to settle into a steady yell as you continue but you can’t stop it. Everything's coming up at once. All of the nights sleeping alone, all of the tears you’ve shed, all of the times you’ve needed the support of a partner that is never there, that can rarely ever pick up the phone. It all comes pouring out in shouting syllables that leave Jisung stumbling back with tears of his own trailing down his cheeks. 

“I called you, I called you last week and I needed you, I needed to hear your voice but all I heard was your voicemail. I didn’t even get a text from you that night, I waited hours for you to call me back. I waited and I waited but there was nothing and here we are six days later and you still haven’t asked me why I called.” You choke on your own shout as you take an inhale so sharp that it could’ve cut your larynx. Your throat tightens at the memory of last week. You sat in front of your phone for as long as you could just waiting, just hoping that Jisung would return your call but he never did. You waited and waited until the face that reminds you of him everyday pulled you out of your haze. 

Just as you fall to your knees in a choked sob that very face emerges from the dimly lit threshold, Jisung hears the tiny footsteps and swiftly shields your body from her line of sight.

“Mommy, why you cry again?” You sob harder at the sound of her small curious voice. This is all enough to break Jisung, the anxiety in his chest is quickly boiling over into self hatred. The palpable pain lingering in the air is all the proof that he needed to know that you’re right, he didn’t keep his promise. “Appa, is mommy okay?” 

“Mommy is- mommy is going to be alright. Appa is trying to fix it, okay?” The brown hair girl hugged her stuffed animal closer to her chest as she took a step towards her father. Jisung was fighting for his life as he did his best to hold back the sob that was rattling against his ribs.

“Come on, let's go back to bed so that I can help mommy, okay?” Jisung’s voice is barely above a whisper but it was enough for the little one in front of him to agree as she held her arms out towards him. He scooped his daughter up and held her close as he made his way down the dimly lit hallway, leaving you and your sorrows to seep into the dark wood beneath your knees. He could nearly hear the heavy tears spilling onto the flooring, he’s sure that the residue of your deep despondency will stain the flooring. His heart aches with sadness and regret as it all sinks in and he swears that what ‘s left of his resolve breaks when his daughter grabs him by his face and kisses the tip of his nose. A sweet whisper leaving her lips as her hopeful words loomed over his head. 

“Please fix momma.” That’s when he knew that he would never be able to make things right. Once he heard the latch catch on your daughter's bedroom door the latch holding the emotion trapped in his chest broke open and he sobbed so violently that it made no sound. All that he could hear was panicked ringing as he sunk to the ground and hung his head. His tears soaked into the soft denim of his jeans as all of your words echoed through his head. 

His breath caught in his throat and his hands raked through his hair aggressively until they grabbed at the roots and pulled as hard as they could. Time seemed to slow down as he realized what’s been happening. While he’s out in his own world the one that he built with you is crumbling. He got too comfortable, he allowed a thick frost to cover his lens and when he couldn’t see through them anymore he filled in the blanks with the answers that he wanted. He told himself that you were fine, that you’ll understand and that he was barely even missed. That frost was so thick, so blinding that he fooled himself into hurting you. 

“Han.” Your hoarse panicked tone is what snaps him out of his thoughts. He blinks a couple of times, trying his best to clear his blurred vision and concentrate. “Jisung, breathe, please.”

It’s only then that he notices the burning in his chest, he sucks in a harsh breath but it’s not enough. He coughs before trying again, the feeling of your soft hands rubbing against his clothed thighs grounds him quicker than he could manage to do by himself. Before he can fill his lungs completely his arms are around your waist. He pulls you into him as he rests against the pale painted wall of the hallway, you wrap your arms around his neck, holding him against your chest as he struggles to regulate his breathing.

“I’m so -”

“- I know, Ji.” He takes a deep inhale and your soft scent makes his muscles tense before relaxing a bit too much. He’s missed this, he’s missed you. 

“I- I know that I hurt you. I haven’t been here for either of you but if you please, just please give me a chance to fix this. I’ll take time off, I’ll adjust my schedules and I’ll come home no matter the time. I’m sorry, I’m sorry that I’ve been so absent I didn’t think that-”

“And what happens when you run out of days off? We’ll be a happy family for a month or two and then I'll be sleeping alone again?” He pulls away from you, watery eyes staring into yours with so much sincerity, so much passion. 

“I won’t leave you alone again, I’ll do what I can, I’ll do more than they let me. I’ll find a way, if you just let me stay, if you let me try again I promise that I will make up for this pain for the next million years, Jagi, please.”

“Ji...Jisung if this doesn’t work then -”

“Then I’ll leave, I’ll pack my stuff and I’ll give you anything that you need to live a comfortable life without me but that won’t happen. If you give me this chance I will stay by your side until you tell me to leave. I’ll stand by you every day until you scream and yell and beg me to go but please give me the chance to fix what I’ve done.” 

“You can’t promise me that everything will change.” Your eyes wander down his frame, a forlorn glint in your eyes. Jisung’s hand takes its familiar position on your cheek, pulling your attention back to him as he takes a rigid breath.

“I can and I will.” His eyes search yours as he tries to grasp onto the hope that’s flying away from you. Maybe he’s making a promise that’s bigger than himself, maybe he can’t do it, maybe he can’t fix you and he’ll break his daughter's heart but he has to try. He has to.

He leans into you and you welcome the feeling of his exhale clashing with yours, his blushed lips brush against your soft ones before he presses the softest kiss to them. It’s loving, it’s hopeful, it’s Jisung and you’ve missed it. You’ve missed him. He whispers against your lips between kisses, his words are airy and desperate but he means them and they mean everything to you.

“I promise.”

[iiiiiiis-things]

Period HC's with the Spiderverse

paring: (separate) earth42!miles morales, earth1610!miles morales, gwen stacy, pavitr parbhakar, miguel o'hara x femblack!reader

cw: period/vagina

blurb: what they're like when you're on your period

a/n: y'all i'm going through it rn. also this is what i used to translate my spanish

-

-

-

-

earth 42 miles morales

now despite his cold demeanor he would literally be so god damn sweet while on your cycle

well- as sweet as he can be

you didn't even tell him, he found out bc you was getting out of line with him

"Aye Mami me pasa mi bolso" his face contorts in confusion as you suck yo teeth "damn i gotta do everything for you ? what's next you want me to change your fucking diaper?"

immediately notices

"you on yo period?"

you flabbergasted mouth gaped wide open

he already knows about everything cs yk his mom.. since his dad... nvm

does anything you want

tells uncle aaron that any plans for the following days of the week had to be canceled

literally with you 24/7

he doesn't even goes to the store to go get snacks

mf uses go puff

"miles you need to go home" you speak laying on his chest as you were slowly but surely drifting off to sleep "Ya le envié un mensaje de texto a mi mamá que no voy a ninguna parte"

wake up the next day to breakfast in bed

y'all bfrl we kno damn well he can't cook 💀

he ordered dennys while you was still sleep and js fixed it up on a plate to make it LOOK like he did 😭

whenever you lash out at him and get to throwing shi he js let's you

"i swear to god you got me fucked up!" you throw the remote at him as he moves to the right dodge it.

overall is js a big cuddle bug and servant for you to use <3

miles morales 1610

is literally clueless

you've been acting weird and being bipolar asf the past three days

breaking point was when you got extra mat at him for accidentally knocking over a vase (that he caught so it didn't break) when he snuck in your room window

"is everything ok? ¿Tuviste un mal día?"

boy wants to cry when you tell him to leave

"bro, just leave me alone i'm not in the mood right now" freezes at the word bro

"ok i'll swing by tomorrow?" he looks back at you out trying to see if you'll change your mind "mhm yeah later"

is so sad bc you didn't even say you love him ☹️

when he walks in the front door of his house mama rio IMMEDIATELY senses something is wrong with her son

stops whatever tf she was doing main concern being miles

"miles baby what's wrong ?" he lets out a sigh "i think y/n is mad at me" then proceeds to explain the situation

rio then explains wdf is happening

miles feels SO bad for not knowing 😭

is at your house the next day with a shit load of chocolate, a pack or two of gatorade, and some extra strength tylenol

he then tells you what his mom recommended (like what to drink and which medication works the best)

gets scared and lowkey flinches when you get cramps 💀

(you see him do it but he tries to plays it off)

is cuddling with you all the time

you play a prank on him while sending him into the drugstore to go ask for a period product that doesn't exist-

THE HORROR ON HIS FACE 😭

jeff being concerned on why their child hasn't been home for the past 4 days (dw rio explains)

gwen stacy

at first doesn't really get why your attitude is bigger than normal

but after the second day immediately understands

"it's your t.o.m (time of month) huh ?" you look slightly embarrassed "yeah..."

WILL go to the store to get you whatever you need

y'all share heat pads no one can change my mind 🙄✋🏾

y'all have talks over which pads and tampons are the best

y'all debate over pads the only agreement being that wings are better

but the both of y'all agree that tampax is on top 💪🏾

she would always be over at your house because she uses you as an excuse to get away from her dad :(

if y'all ever got it around the same time all HELL would break loose 😭

both of yall would be just straight up mad with eachother

"what do you want to eat?" she looks over at you as y'all walking to the mall food court "oh anything's fine"

walks over towards the chic-fil-a section "oh wait i don't want chicken, how about taco bell?"

mf groans and roll her eyes "i want chic-fil-a, u said anything was fine!"

"well maybe i changed my mind! if you wanted something specific why would you ask me?!" people start to stare as the heat of the argument rises

yall eventually settle for smoothies from jamba juice

she's more cuddly than usual which is completely fine

you make jokes about being blood sisters 💀

she does not find them funny.

pavitr parabhakar

you avoid him like the plague

why? because you do not want to lash out at your sweet, sweet , baby boy for no reason 😭

pav is like so confused

thinks he did something wrong ☹️

"hi y/n!" your walking to class as you hear someone calling you from down the hall obviously recognizing the voice of your boyfriend you walk faster so he couldn't catch up to you in the crowded hallway

"y/n??" stands there like 🧍🏽‍♂️

he thinks you didn't hear him and is probably just trying to get to class early to turn in late homework or something

but later when you two are supposed to meet up for chai after school (like always) and you don't show up he knows your avoiding him

baby is SO SADDD 😭

the next day he finally catches up with you as you walk into the school building and asks you straight up "are you avoiding me?"

you began to feel like the absolute worst gf ever as you see the worry in his eyes "no baby, i just- i mean-" he slightly bends his back leaning to get eye level with you "is there someone else?"

your heart sinks to your ass 😭

"what no pavi swear!" "then why are you avoiding me?" you sigh, giving in and explain what's been going on

"oh" he then stands up straight you began to feel he's about to be disgusted about you bleeding from your literal vagina until he wraps his arm around your shoulder and drags you into the school building

"babe i'm gonna be honest with you, i really don't care you could've just told me"

walks you to class as if nothing's happened

best.boyfriend.ever

i feel like his spider sense would kind help him see your ina bad mood idk

pepper kisses on your face

but once he sees you cramping it's over with

he's gonna cuddle you and not let you go (you have to force him off of you when you have to use the restroom)

asks auntie maya about it and she tell him everything you need, how you might react, and how he needs to watch everything he does to not make you upset

doesn't hesitate to buy pads if you need em

is constantly by your side

he👏🏾is👏🏾your👏🏾personal👏🏾heat👏🏾pad

whenever you get angry or upset he immediately apologizes and blames himself bc he thinks that if ur upset than he obviously did something wrong.

he def runs you hot baths with epson salt

ends up getting a period tracker app on his phone to keep up-

y'all were watching moana and he was trying his hardest not to laugh. 😭

why? because you started crying when maui left moana all on her own 🙍🏾‍♀️

and cried harder when he came back-

y'all i feel like i went a lil overboard wit this one 😭

hobie brown

this mf here

he will literally be the worst person to be around

idk how bt he knew it was coming before YOU knew it was coming

like y'all could be chilling on his couch and out of nowhere he goes

"you're getting a visit from aunt flow (i googled this) tomorrow you know that right?"

you being confused bc "who da fuck is aunt flo.... wait-"

hobie will never tell how he knows when it's coming but hey at least he reminds you 🤷🏾‍♀️

literally loves to piss you off

he likes seeing you all riled up

it's just something about the way you scream and throw shit at him for leaving the tv on all night

kinda like miles(42)- instead when you throw shit he catches it

smug the entire time.

the amount of teasing is crazy

"do you think you'll get pregnant if we-" "no" 🙎🏾‍♀️

he isn't a complete asshole

eventually throughout all of the teasing he does whatever you want him to do

when your cramping he helps by rubbing his hand on your lower tummy in circles

he does buy steal you candy from the store

if your craving anything he will most def go get it for you and if you wanna cuddle he would

he'll obviously kno that you want to but makes you asks bc he like that 🤷🏾‍♀️

"you alright?" hobie asks leaning in the door way of his bedroom as he watches you hug your stomach on his bed "could you help?"

"sure luv what do you need?" like bitch-

if you need him to go get you more this mf WILL ask you what size your vagina is 😭 (weirdo)

OMG NO BC RMB THAT ONE BAYMAX SCENE WHEN HE WAS GETTING THAT GURL PADS ?! 😭

he stands in the drugstore on the isle with the women necessities (after getting your size) while a middle age woman sides eye him as she slowly reaches for her preferred option

(the lady is confused on why there's a tall ass, guitar playing, punk, holding a box of literal diva cups in his hand 💀)

he eventually gives up and asks the lady if the ones in her hand are any good

let's just say he walks out the store with 4 months supply of period products

overall he's an asshole.. but he's your asshole 😫🤞🏾

miguel o'hara

now he's a little older so he isn't dumb

but he isn't the smartest either

a lot of people say miguel is sweet... no he's not

like bffr we see how SASSY this mf is in the movie 👏🏾😭

i feel like this mf would argue you down whenever your in a bad mood

"get the fuck out my way!" you scream at one of the peters as they bump into you knocking your food out your hand "damn what crawled up your ass and died"

you turn around to see nun other than your boyfriend

"you apparently, do you ever take a day off" his eyebrow raises a little "and leave you idiots running this place?" you roll your eyes as you walk over to grab a duplicate of what you just dropped

miguel notices how your more snappy at him, in fact you've been snappy the past couple days

"hey what's up with you?" he asks, yeah you guys bicker but it's usually playful flirting

"i don't kno, how would you feel if you were bleeding from your vagina?"

he finally gets it

later at home he walks in with a walmart bag of candy, a new fluffy blanket, and a gift card that has "im sorry" written on the front

he would stop picking with you knowing your attitude can go from 0-100 rq

like i mention with hobie and miles(42) i feel like he would just listen as you yell and throw shit at him

but because of his huge size he just sits there unfazed as you throw a literal flashlight at him (where you found it? no one knows.)

he would only cuddle with you at night saying "it's the only way i can sleep" when you know he just wants you to feel better

yes i got impatient with hobie and miguel.

[deltaharrington]

BOTTOM

PAIRING: Pro Hero!Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader

SUMMARY: Katsuki isn’t all big and bad when you two are alone…

WARNINGS: Pure filth, 18+, sub!bakugo, dom!reader

“F-Fuck!”

“Hm? What was that?” You question as you look up at your husband, completely and utterly fucked out.

Currently, you were straddling his lap, your pretty hands wrapped around his cock as you got him off. He was completely putty in your hands and you *loved* it.

“Please! Y/n…please!” He begged as he threw his head back, huffs and moans leaving him.

Poor thing. You’d told him not to touch you the second he walked into the house. He’d had a rough day at work, and was practically begging for you to do *something* to him.

You leaned down and roughly connected your lips with his, soft moans erupting from the man below you.

“Please what? Use your words, Suki…” You trailed off and he nearly came at the sound of his name falling from your lips.

His hands gripped the bedsheets as he tried to find his words, your pace quickening and then slowing down. You were being unpredictable, and he nearly couldn’t take it.

“Being such a good boy f’me” You praised “Not touching me…I bet you want to, huh?” You teased and he nodded his head. He looked different like this, and he’d only ever show this side of himself to you. He was vulnerable, he was more genuine.

The facade he put up around others was for his own protection, but with you, he didn’t need that, he could let go.

“Need to cum, please!” He begged again and gasped as your thumb brushed over the tip of his cock, which was pink with arousal.

“Well since you asked so nicely…” You trailed off and picked your pace up, going steady as mourners of your name fell from him. “Go on, Suki…cum for me” You said and he exploded.

His cum came barreling out as his hips thrusted upwards to add more friction to your unwavering pace. Even after he came down from his high, you kept at it, only earning pitiful whimpers from Katsuki.

“That’s it, there you go…” You praised as your movements came to a slow stop.

Katsuki’s face was properly flushed and he looked more than tired. “Let’s get this cleaned up, hm?” You spoke and he nodded his head, watching as you got out of bed to go get a warm washcloth for him.

You knew he didn’t have the energy to shower, not right now, so you opted for this and some sweet aftercare.

After cleaning him up, you helped him up under the covers, slipping into bed with him. He immediately wrapped his arms around you and pressed himself into your chest.

“Thank you” He muttered and you hummed, running your fingers through his soft hair, pressing a kiss to his forehead.

As 3AM rolled around, you were already fast asleep, and Katsuki should have been too, but he couldn’t stop thinking about you. You were on his mind 24/7, and part of him hated it. He hated how he’d open up to you and let you please him however you liked.

He loved it. Don’t get him wrong, but was he doing enough for you? He couldn’t remember the last time he’d made you cum.

With all the stirring in the bed, you’d woken up, your eyes fluttering open to see the husband. “What are you doing awake?” You asked softly and gently reached out to touch his cheek.

“Just thinkin’” He mumbled and your brows furrowed.

“I haven’t been pleasing you” Katsuki said before you got a chance to speak.

“Baby…you do please me…I love watching you fall apart just from my touch” You said “Not to mention, you make sure I have lunch packed in the morning, breakfast made, and that I’m safe throughout the day…what more could I need?” You explained and he huffed.

“M’talking about when we have sex…I can’t remember the last time I made you cum…” He said and you shook your head.

“I don’t care-“

“But I do!” He raised his voice “I want to please you in more ways than making lunch or checking in on you” He said softly “I want you to feel good too…” He added.

You didn’t know what to say to that..you loved him and he knew it. He didn’t want you to feel left out.

You sighed and looked up at him “I love you regardless..I don’t need-“

“I need this” He said in a serious tone “Sit on my face” He said and you gasped.

“What?”

“Sit on my face” He repeated and moved to lie back. Oh, so he was serious.

“I-okay…” You trailed off and got your panties off, leaving you in one of his shirts. You moved your legs on each side of his face and he pulled you down immediately with no warning, his mouth latching to your clit instantly.

“Katsuki!” You gasped out as he ate you like you were his last meal, his tongue exploring every part of your cunt.

“S-Such a good boy…” You praised and he seemed to like it. That, and the fact that you were tugging on his hair.

You rode his face until you were close, rolling your hips against his tongue. “I’m gonna cum” You warned and he hummed, not stopping.

You unraveled soon after, your juices coating his tongue with a sweet goodness. What he’d been searching for.

When you came down, he helped you off and you smiled at him in a daze. “That- that was so good, Suki” You muttered, it sounded stupid but he knew what you meant.

“Can we go to sleep now?” You asked and he nodded his head, letting you wrap his arms around you again.

A/N: AHH I HOPE THIS IS GOOD?

[cookiescribble]

Show Me How To Be Whole Again

A/N: hi everyone! This is the fic I've been working on for eight months 😮‍💨. I hope it came out as well as I hoped it would 😅 - mod angel

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Summary: When Spencer is abducted, you rush to the team to make sure you're there when they find him. After you get home, Spencer's behavior starts to get more and more concerning, and you're desperate for answers. (based on 2x15 and the aftermath of that episode)

Word Count: 7.1k

CW: Mentions of abduction, violence, drug addiction, withdrawal, arguing. some angst in the middle but i am incapable of writing something without a happy ending.

~~~~~

The call came early in the morning. They said they called you as soon as they could. 

If you were thinking rationally, or if you could stand being alone for 5 minutes after hearing the news, maybe you would’ve stayed home. But you couldn’t stay put knowing Spencer was in trouble. 

You quickly threw a few days’ worth of clothes in a carry-on bag and took the first flight out of the nearest airport. You were trying so hard to keep yourself together and not break down crying on a crowded airplane, but the thoughts just kept rushing in your head. You were so worried about him. 

When you landed, you called the team and told them you were going to the police station and you were going to stay there until they found him. You wouldn’t let anyone argue with you. You wouldn’t be able to calm down until they found him anyway, so being anywhere else didn’t make sense. 

You didn’t really think of what you’d do when you got there. You’d just been on autopilot since you got the call. You were hoping someone would meet you there. 

When you frantically burst through the doors of the police station, JJ was standing there waiting for you. You dropped your bag and hugged her tight. 

“It was my fault,” she choked out, sobbing. “We were together and… we split up… I shouldn’t have split up…”

You shook your head vigorously. “No, no, you’re not the one who abducted him. It’s not your fault.” You were also sobbing now. You tried taking deep breaths to calm yourself, but all you could think about was what could possibly be happening to Spencer right now. 

You calmed down enough to ask, “Where is everybody else?”

She closed her eyes, taking a deep breath herself. “We set up at the unsub’s house. He took Spence to a secondary location, and Garcia set up there to get to his computers.” She looked down. “I really should be getting back there.”

You nodded while she talked. “I’m coming with you,” you announced. 

She looked at you, concerned. “We can’t risk you-“

You cut her off. “I am coming with you. I’m staying with you until we find him,” you stated forcefully. 

She didn’t argue further. She could see the desperation in your eyes, you’re sure. Even someone who didn’t analyze behavior for a living could see that. “Alright. Let’s go.”

…

You arrived at the house. You couldn’t tell how long the car ride took; every second felt like an hour. 

When everybody saw you, they took turns giving you a hug. You could tell they were concerned that you were here, but they could see how devastated you were. You think they understood. 

You hung around while they all did their jobs and tried to find Spencer. You sat next to Penelope and watched as she tried to do whatever she could to help find him. 

Time passed. The team was coming in and out of the room as they needed to. Derek was probably in here the most, giving his moral support to Penelope. 

Suddenly, the monitors in front of you lit up. 

“What‘s happening?” Derek asked. 

“I… don’t know,” Penelope answered. 

Your heart dropped as an image popped up on the screen. 

It was Spencer. He was sitting in a chair, his hands tied together. He was wearing the clothes you watched him pack on the morning you last saw him. 

He looked so scared. 

“Guys! Get in here!” you heard Derek yell. 

You couldn’t look away from the screen. 

The rest of the team rushed in, faces dropping as they saw what was happening. 

Someone was talking in the background of the stream. You couldn’t hear them. Your heart was thumping so hard you could hear it in your ears. Spencer was replying to whatever they were saying. Through your loud heartbeat, you could hear his trembling voice. Your eyes started to water. 

After a few moments, you heard someone near you say something and suddenly you were being pulled away from the screen and into another room. 

When you realized what was happening, you looked up to see Hotch holding your shoulders, pushing you away from the horrific scene unfolding on the monitors. 

You started sobbing. “I have to see him,” you tried to say, but your voice was cracking. 

“No. You saw that he’s alive. That’s all you need to see.” he said firmly. He was protecting you from seeing something that would truly break you. 

You couldn’t argue. What you saw shook you to your very core; you couldn’t go back in there. You squeezed your eyes shut and nodded. “You’re going to find him and bring him back safe.” It wasn’t a question. You knew they’d find him. They had to. 

You took a step back, telling Hotch he could go back to the team in the other room, and that you were okay out here.

You sat at a table, laying your head down and covering it with your arms. You had started crying, and you couldn’t stop. How could they do this to him? He’s never done anything to hurt anybody. All he does is help people. How could someone look at him and feel anything other than warmth, comfort, and love?

You heard footsteps come into the room. The girls came in and sat around you. You picked your head up to look at them, your eyes already swollen from crying so much. 

“What happened?” you asked frantically. Your heart was racing again. 

“He’s okay,” Emily said quickly. “He’s alive. The unsub… made him choose a victim to keep alive, but there’s going to be more victims… and then the camera cut off.” She took a deep breath. “It looked like making that decision let him live.”

You buried your face in your hands. This was so cruel. you knew he dealt with bad people every day, but… this was so heartbreaking. How could someone feel so little remorse for other human beings that they force an innocent person to decide someone’s fate?

You took deep breaths to try not to cry again. “I can tell he’s in so much pain right now… He’s going to blame himself for all those people’s deaths. The guilt is going to eat him up inside. He’ll feel horrible even if he does make it out of this.”

Everyone took turns patting your back to reassure you. “He is going to make it out of this. He’ll be home soon.”

You nodded, forcing yourself to believe it. You had to believe it. If you didn’t believe it… you would break down more than you ever have before. 

…

You stayed in that room for what felt like an eternity. The team took turns keeping you company when they weren’t busy. They gave you vague updates to let you know that Spencer was still alive. They didn’t tell you details of what they saw. You didn’t ask. Seeing the somber looks on their faces told you all you needed to know.

Eventually, everyone came rushing out of the room, putting on their coats and practically running out the door. Penelope came to sit with you, her eyes wide and full of hope. “They found where he is. They’re going to him now.” She hugged you tightly. “He’s going to be okay.”

Tears leaked out of your eyes again. This time they were happy tears. The immense rush of relief you felt was enough to render you speechless for a while, until you finally choked out, “They’re going to call us when he’s safe?” She nodded eagerly and you let out a huge sigh of relief. 

The wait felt like forever. You were still nervous. What if they don’t get to him in time? What if they’re just barely too late?

Finally, finally Penelope’s phone rang. She answered quickly, nodding at what she was hearing. Eventually she hung up and looked at you, smiling. “He’s with them now. The unsub is dead. They’re rushing an ambulance but his injuries seem minor considering… what’s been happening.”

You closed your eyes and took another big sigh of relief. “I’m going to meet the ambulance there,” you declared.

Penelope looked at you quizzically. “I don’t know if-“

“You said the unsub is dead,” you cut her off. “There’s no more danger. I’m going to him.” You saw keys to one of the FBI vehicles that was left over since they had multiple people to a van. You picked them up and tossed them to Penelope. “You know their coordinates. You drive.”

She caught the keys and nodded at you, unable to argue with your logic. You both rushed out to the van and sped over to the location. 

You saw the ambulance as you arrived there. You barely waited for Penelope to put the car in park before you were running out the door to where the ambulance had parked. 

You saw Spencer sitting at the edge of the back of the ambulance with a first aid blanket wrapped around his shoulders. He was beaten up, but he was still conscious and alert. You were relieved his injuries weren’t worse. 

“Spencer!” you shouted as you ran towards him. He looked your way, his eyes widening as he saw you. 

You threw your arms around his shoulders when you reached him. His shock quickly turned to something softer as he relaxed into your arms, wrapping his arms around your waist. 

You nestled your face into his neck for a few moments, unable to stop your sobs of joy. “Oh, sweetie…” you cooed into his ear. 

He moved so his forehead was touching yours. Tears were streaking down his face. “I’m sorry…” he started. 

You shook your head vigorously. “No apologies. You’re okay now.” You kissed him on the forehead gently and threaded your fingers in his hair “Everything’s going to be okay.”

He nodded and tightened his grip on you, kissing you firmly. He kissed you for a long time before finally pulling away, resting his forehead on yours. “I love you,” he whispered.

You smiled warmly, whispering back to him. “I love you, too.”

You stayed like that for a few moments before everyone started pushing Spencer to get in the ambulance so he could go to the hospital. You rode with him, of course. You held his hand the whole way there. 

He wasn’t in the hospital for too long. They were able to treat his wounds relatively easily. The team waited in the waiting room while you followed him into the examination room. 

When you came back to the waiting room, hand in hand, everyone rushed to greet you before you all headed to the jet. 

You sat in the corner of the couch to the side of the other seats, motioning for Spencer to lay his head in your lap. He followed eagerly, curling up on his side and nestling his head in your lap. 

You ran your fingers through his curls as he began to fall asleep. He must’ve been exhausted. You couldn’t imagine him sleeping during any of that. 

You stayed like that the whole ride home, him asleep and you petting his hair softly. 

You gently woke him up when you landed. “C’mon, baby. We’re going home.”

He sat up and rubbed his eyes. You kissed his cheek before standing up, taking his hand as you went to the parking lot. He obviously wasn’t in any condition to drive, so he handed you the keys to his car and let you drive home. You insisted on stopping and getting some food on the way back. He said he didn’t feel hungry, but once he started eating, it seemed like he’d never stop. He must’ve been starving.

When you walked into your apartment, he grabbed you and hugged you tightly to his chest. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, relaxing into him. 

“I missed you so much.” He was crying again, sniffling softly. “I thought about you every waking moment. I knew I had to make it through because you were waiting for me.” He leaned down to kiss your forehead, closing his eyes and savoring the moment. 

“I missed you too,” you said quietly, looking into his eyes with a soft expression. “I knew you were going to make it back.” You hugged him tight again. “I didn’t see everything. The team… made sure I didn’t see anything that was going to hurt me.”

He nodded, leaning down to stroke your cheek gently with his thumb. “I’m glad you didn’t have to see me like that.” He touched his forehead to yours. “What matters now is that I’m here with you.” He kissed you slowly, pushing your hair out of your face. 

You kissed for a long time, slowly making your way to your bedroom. You smiled up at him after a while. “As much as I would love to continue this…” You gestured to the bed. “You need to sleep.”

As if to prove your point, he let out a quiet yawn. You smiled as he sat down at the edge of the bed. You grabbed his pajamas from the drawer and helped him get changed and settled into bed. 

He lay his head on your chest and you stroked his hair gently, just like you did the whole way home. “Go to sleep, baby,” you whispered as his eyes closed. After a moment you heard his breathing slow as he fell asleep. 

“Goodnight,” you whispered, kissing the top of his head before relaxing to fall asleep yourself.   

…

After that night, things got… bad. 

Spencer wasn’t acting like himself anymore. He was… distant. Cold. He had never acted this way towards you before. Or anyone, for that matter. 

You had never had a problem with intimacy before, but suddenly he refused to touch you. Any time you would reach for his hand, or try to put your arm around him, he’d just shrug you off of him and move away from you. It always ended in you mumbling an apology and putting some space between you. 

He never explained why he didn’t want you to touch him. In fact, he didn’t talk a whole lot anymore. You often sat in silence, completely apart from each other. You always used to be able to count on him to fill these silences, but now he just stayed quiet. 

When he did talk, he was a lot more cold to you than he used to be. You had never fought before, but now it felt like any time he talked it was to argue with you about something. It felt like he was always angry lately. 

He didn’t even like to sleep in the same bed as you anymore. Most nights, if not every night, he slept on the couch. You started begging him, telling him that you would never cross over your side of the bed, but he shrugged you off saying he just needed to be alone.

All of this was really taking a toll on you. You tried not to show it, because you knew he was going through a hard time, so you only let your feelings out in places you could be alone. Which meant you spent a lot of time crying in the bathroom.

This went on for months. You thought that, surely, he had to tell you what was going on eventually. He had never hidden anything from you before, so you didn’t really know what to do, or how to handle this. You didn’t want to push him into talking about things he didn’t want to talk about, but something was very clearly wrong. 

After a particularly bad argument one night, you couldn’t take it anymore. You had to go to someone about this. For Spencer’s sake.

The next morning, you set an extra early alarm, quietly getting dressed and tiptoeing past Spencer, who was asleep on the couch, and silently leaving your apartment. 

As you got in your car and started driving, you started arguing with yourself in your head. Part of your brain was trying to say that this wasn’t going to help, and that this was just like being a little kid and tattling to a teacher. But the emotional part of your brain was saying that just telling anyone would be able to help Spencer. And that little shred of hope was all it took to convince you to do this.

You shoved open the doors to the BAU, hoping that Spencer’s stories about his boss barely leaving his office were true. When you looked around, you saw an office with a light on, making you breathe a sigh of relief.

You bound up the stairs, knocking on the office door, a little more forcefully than you had intended. Hopefully it would help get your emotions across.

“Come in,” a familiar voice ordered. 

You took a deep breath before opening the door, seeing Hotch sitting at his desk with a bunch of paperwork in front of him. You wondered just how much paperwork this job required, and if he was always here hours before everyone else.

He looked surprised to see you. He would probably be surprised to see anyone at this early hour, but considering you don’t even work for him, he probably wouldn’t have even considered the possibility of you coming here. “Is there something I can help you with?” He asked. 

You opened your mouth to say something, but nothing came out. You didn’t really think this far; you just figured that surely someone who works so closely with Spencer had to know something, especially since he was a profiler. 

You thought about everything that had happened in the last few months, trying to find the right words to properly articulate your concerns. But all the thoughts about Spencer pushing you away and refusing your affection, mixed with remembering what your relationship was like before that fateful night of his abduction, overwhelmed your mind so much that you just couldn’t stop your emotions flowing out. Tears welled in your eyes before starting to streak down your face. Here you were, in Hotch’s office, completely unannounced and uninvited, and you were just standing there crying.

After a few moments of crying, and of Hotch looking very concerned at this scene playing out before him, you decided it didn’t matter that you couldn’t form the perfect words. You just needed to say something. 

Through choked sobs, you finally managed to blurt out, “What’s wrong with Spencer?”

Hotch looked at you, his expression as unreadable as always. “What do you mean?”

You took a deep breath, too emotional to think about how you shouldn’t be saying all of this to your boyfriend’s boss. The words just started coming out in a rush. “Something’s wrong. We had never had a single argument before, and now the only time he ever talks to me is to pick a fight. He’s never present, he barely speaks, which I’m sure I don’t have to tell you is very strange behavior for Spencer. He never smiles anymore, he won’t let me touch him anymore, he won’t sleep in our bed anymore, he only sleeps on the couch…” 

You covered your eyes with your hands, trying to stop the tears from coming out. Finally, after some shaky breaths, you finished by saying, “I just wanted to know if there’s anything you could tell me about this. If you know why he’s acting this way. If there’s something he’s not telling me.”

Hotch hesitated before gesturing to a chair in front of his desk. “Do you want to take a seat?”

You looked at the chair, and you noticed you were shaking. You nodded, and sat down in the chair, trying to calm down. But you couldn’t help being extremely restless, your leg bouncing rapidly while you sat.

Hotch leaned forward, moving some paperwork out of the way and placing his hands on his desk. His expression was slightly softened. “Working in this field, you go through a lot of traumatic things. Reid’s abduction was one of the worst things an agent can go through.” His voice was low and steady, which was a welcome contrast to how frantic your own words had come out. “Anyone would struggle after that.”

You sighed. “I know, but-”

He raised his hand to cut you off. “That being said, we’ve all been able to tell that Reid has been a little off.” He saw you raise your eyebrow and added, “Okay, a lot off.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “We have some… theories, but we can’t know for sure what’s happening with him unless he tells us. And since he’s already struggling, we didn’t want to make it worse, especially since he’s technically just a subordinate or coworker. But if he’s not telling you either…” He looked at you sympathetically. “I’ll try to talk to him.”

You nodded, taking a deep breath. “... Thank you. Thank you so much. I’m so sorry I came here out of the blue.” You stood up, taking a step forward as if you were going to hug him, but for once your rational thoughts took over and you stayed where you were.

He stood up after you. “You’re welcome. It couldn’t have been easy to come here and talk about this.” He reached out to shake your hand, and when you shook his hand back he put his other hand over yours and spoke softly to you. “I’m going to try to get through to him. I promise.”

His gentle hands and soft-spoken words were enough to reassure you, at least for now. You nodded, thanking him again before leaving his office. You were able to leave with a lot more composure than you came here with.

It was getting late by the time you left Hotch’s office, and there were a lot more people here now. As you came down the stairs, you looked up to see Spencer staring at you. He wasn’t angry, thankfully, but he looked… kind of dumbfounded. Which made sense. You had no reason to be here at all, let alone a reason to be talking to his boss.

As you walked towards him to get to the door to leave, he turned to you. “Hey…” he started, his voice soft.

You didn’t know what to say, his soft voice sounding nothing like what you’ve been hearing these past few months. So you just kind of waved to him awkwardly, pointing to your watch to indicate that you had to get to work, and you left the BAU. 

When you got back in your car, you took a few minutes to process everything that had happened. You closed your eyes and took a few deep breaths, trying to convince yourself that everything was okay. You believed Hotch when he said he’d help. It felt like Spencer was in capable hands.

…

Later that day, you had been in the bathroom when Spencer came home, and you didn’t hear the door open and close. When you came out, you saw him standing awkwardly in the front of your apartment. It made you jump a little bit. “Hi… I didn’t know you were home,” you muttered awkwardly.

He stood there looking at you, his eyes moving a little as if he was thinking of what to say. After a few moments, instead of saying anything, he walked over to you and hugged you, wrapping his arms tightly around your waist.

You just froze for a moment, not sure how to react. But he kept his tight hold on you, as if you were the only thing keeping him up right now, and you finally started to hug him back just as tightly. You both just stood like that for a few minutes, holding each other.

Finally, he spoke up. His voice was soft, barely a whisper, and he sounded so fragile. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” He was starting to cry now, making soft sobbing sounds into your shoulder.

Hearing him cry broke something in you, and shortly you were also in tears. “Oh, Spence…” You squeezed him a little tighter, rubbing soothing circles on his back. “It’s okay…”

He sniffled and shook his head, pulling back a little so he could look you in the eyes. “My behavior has been abhorrent lately. I’ve been struggling, and I’ve been bottling everything up. I didn’t realize just how much this was hurting you.” He took a deep breath, trying to keep up with his thoughts. “I guess I figured, if I didn’t tell you about my problems, then they couldn’t affect you. But I was wrong. It just made it worse.”

You looked at him sadly, one of your hands moving to gently stroke his hair. “You can always come to me with anything. I’ll always try to help you. You know that.”

Some more tears started falling down his cheeks, and you started to wipe them away with your thumb. “I guess I felt like… I didn’t deserve the help.” He took a few shaky breaths as he tried to calm down. “Like I didn’t deserve you being so nice to me.”

“Spencer…” you started, trying to make your voice sound as soothing as possible. “What’s wrong? What’s so bad that you can’t tell me?”

He closed his eyes and shook his head slowly. “I… I don’t know if I can talk about it yet. But I promise I’ll tell you soon.” He looked at you determinedly. “Until then, I promise I’m going to try to be better to you.” As if to prove his point, he grabbed your face and captured your lips in a soft kiss, making your heart flutter.

After years of dating, you didn’t think you’d feel that flustered, shy feeling of butterflies in your stomach again. But, after these past few months of having no physical contact, this kiss almost felt like it was your first kiss all over again.

You couldn’t help but hold the back of his head to try to bring his face even closer to yours. You were craving his touch, and you needed his affection. On the off chance that this was a one-time thing, and that he would start to distance himself again after this, you figured you had to make it last.

He showed no signs of letting up, though, moving you both so you were laying on the couch, with him hovering over you. His lips never left yours the whole time, and his hands were moving around your face as if he was trying to remember what it felt like. 

He broke the kiss to look at you, before closing his eyes. His hands trailed from your face down to your neck, moving slightly under your shirt to your shoulders. He wasn’t just touching you, he was feeling you. As if feeling your skin would jog his memory of you. His breathing was soft and even as his hands moved down to your hips, his fingers gentle and slow on your waist as he started to lift your shirt up. 

Your breath hitched when you felt cold air suddenly hit your stomach. “Spence…” you spoke quietly, a soft blush on your face. 

He looked at you, his voice quick and reassuring. “I don’t want to do anything like… that. It would be a little too much for me right now.” He quickly flashed you that awkward little smile he had sometimes. “I just want to see you, to feel you.” His voice went a little quieter when he added, “I missed you.”

You looked at him sadly, reaching up to touch his face. “I missed you, too.” You leaned in to kiss him again. “I missed you so much.”

The soft, slow kissing resumed, and Spencer very carefully pulled your shirt over your head, his hands gently gliding over the newly exposed skin. You let out a dreamy sigh. You hadn’t realized just how touch starved you had been over these past few months. This is exactly what you had been needing. 

You just stayed on the couch like that for a while, his lips and hands on you, the gentlest of touches. After a little while longer, you started to unbutton his shirt, because you wanted to do the same to him.

He completely froze, sucking in a breath. You immediately pulled your hands away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to…” You trailed off, worried that you just ruined any progress that had been made tonight. 

He shook his head, sitting up and pulling you up with him. “It’s okay, I just… I don’t want you to see me with my shirt off.” He looked at you with pleading eyes, as if he was begging you not to ask about it. 

You hesitated, but instead of asking about it you tried to be a little more lighthearted. “I’ve seen you without a shirt plenty of times, Spencer.” 

He gave you a slight smile before the worried look came back to his face. “I just…” he started, “I can’t right now. Please understand.”

You nodded, taking his hand and giving it a slight squeeze. “I understand.” You stroked his hand gently with your thumb. “I’m not going to do anything that makes you uncomfortable. You can trust me.”

He squeezed your hand back, giving you another little smile. “I know you won’t. I do trust you.” He let out a little yawn and started to rub his eyes. 

You looked at the clock, not realizing how late it had gotten. “Come on, let’s go to bed.” You leaned over to kiss his forehead. “You should get some sleep.”

You worried he would still insist on sleeping on the couch, but he just nodded, his hand still tightly holding yours as you both stood up and walked to your bedroom. He grabbed his pajamas and headed to the bathroom to change.

You sat on the bed and watched him for a few moments before he closed the door. You started to get dressed yourself, wondering what this problem was about. He had been a little shy around you when you two first started getting intimate, but you thought he had gotten over that. Had these past few months apart made the shyness come back?

Your thoughts were interrupted by Spencer coming back into the room. You stood up so he could get in bed. He looked so tired; you could see just how bad the dark circles under his eyes were.

He crawled under the covers, curling up and closing his eyes. You got in the other side of the bed, gently rubbing his back to soothe him. You didn’t want to push any boundaries, so you pulled away after just a moment.

He turned around, looking at you with those big eyes of his, and grabbed your hand, lacing your fingers together. He closed his eyes again, taking a deep breath, as if soothed by your touch. You smiled softly. He looked more peaceful than you had seen him in a long time. It made it easier to close your eyes and relax.

It was silent for a while, and you thought he had fallen asleep. But then, you heard him speak very softly. “I love you.”

You opened your eyes to see him looking back at you. You squeezed his hand gently. “I love you too.” You leaned in and kissed his forehead, making him smile. “Get some sleep. I can tell you need it,” you whispered.

He nodded and closed his eyes again, moving a little closer to you before wrapping his arms around you and nestling his head in your neck. You hesitated for a moment in shock before cradling him in your arms. You kissed the top of his head. “Goodnight, baby,” you whispered to him. Soon, you could hear his breathing soften, and you just listened to the quiet sounds of him sleeping for a few more moments before falling asleep yourself.

…

Things didn’t magically get better after that, but they did improve. 

Spencer went back to sleeping in your bed, though he seemed to have a hard time sleeping nowadays. He was always tossing and turning, and you usually woke up in the middle of the night to either try to soothe him to sleep or to keep him company when he couldn’t sleep. 

There was a lot more talking, and a lot less fighting. You could have more comfortable conversations, and he would politely tell you when he didn’t feel like talking. It was a lot better than him yelling at you to leave him alone. 

There was still some arguing, but usually only when you were trying to get him to eat. He was always saying he wasn’t hungry, and you had to try to push to get him to eat, saying he needed some kind of nutrition. Sometimes he would snap at you, saying he would eat if he was hungry and that he didn’t push you when you didn’t want to eat. He’d always apologize, though, and try his best to explain that he was either feeling nauseous or he just didn’t have much of an appetite anymore. It seemed to get a little better after a few days.

He didn’t mind a little more physical contact. He wasn’t always up for it, but he didn’t seem to mind it as much. It was always trial and error, almost like trying to pet a skittish cat. You’d start by putting a gentle hand on his, and he’d tense up for a second, and he’d either pull away and explain he didn’t want to be touched, or he’d take your hand and hold it gently. A big improvement. It was just little touches: holding hands, an arm around his shoulder, a hug… it never went past that.

He didn’t talk about what it was that was bothering him at first, but you trusted that he would tell you when he was ready. After about a week, he was finally ready to talk about it.

…

You both were sitting on the couch, in one of your quiet moments. You were reading a book, like you usually did when Spencer felt like being quiet. The silences were starting to get more comfortable, making it easier to just do quiet activities next to each other.

After a few minutes, Spencer cleared his throat, making you look over at him. You bookmarked the page you were on and turned to him. “What is it?”

He hesitated, as if he wasn’t sure how to start this conversation. He closed his eyes for a moment to put his thoughts together, before opening them again to look at you. He spoke very softly.

“When I was…” he started, swallowing and taking a deep breath to compose himself before continuing, “... When I was abducted for those few days back in February, a lot happened. The man who took me had dissociative identity disorder, and dealing with all his personalities was difficult. But there was one of his personalities that was… nicer than the others. More helpful than harmful.” He closed his eyes again, and you knew this was really hard for him to talk about. You placed a gentle hand over his, and he let out a breath, grabbing your hand and giving it a squeeze. He continued on, his voice still soft and sad.

“Unfortunately, one of the ways that he helped me was to… give me something to help numb the pain the others were causing.” He closed his eyes again, and he slowly rolled up his sleeves for you to see his arms.

You stared in shock. His arms were covered in needle marks. You covered your mouth. “Oh, Spencer…” You looked back up at his face, but his eyes were squeezed shut, as if he didn’t want to face this. You squeezed his hand to let him know you were here to support him.

“He would come to me saying Dilaudid helped with the pain, and after a few times, it started to feel… good.” He took another deep breath, his eyes still closed. “After he died, I took the bottles he still had. And when things started getting hard to handle… all the flashbacks and memories of what happened to me, I just needed to numb myself. And it worked, for a while. But eventually, I just… couldn’t stop.”

“Spencer…” you started, your voice gentle. “You could’ve come to me, I could’ve tried to help you-”

“I didn’t want that,” he cut you off. “I tried to convince myself that what I was doing wasn’t wrong. That it was just medicine that was helping me. But, obviously, I knew that wasn’t the truth. And I knew that if I told anyone about it, they would say I needed help. But I didn’t want help. I just wanted to live in this unrealistic world where everything I was doing was fine.” He finally opened his eyes to look at you. “That’s why I was lashing out. I didn’t want anyone to help me, and I also felt like I didn’t deserve anyone being nice to me.”

He looked at you very seriously. “I thought, if I didn’t tell you any of this, it couldn’t hurt you. I know how sensitive you are to other people’s emotions and problems, so I figured if I didn’t tell you, you couldn’t worry about me. Obviously, I was wrong, and that was a naive way of thinking.” He reached out and gently touched your face. “When I saw you at the BAU, I knew it was because you were worried about me, and I saw that you looked like you had been crying. And it just snapped me out of this false reality I had created for myself. And that’s when I came home and apologized, because I knew I couldn’t do it anymore. I couldn’t keep hurting you.”

You listened to him silently while he talked, letting him get out everything he needed to say before responding. “Why didn’t you tell me that day? Or the few days after that? Why did you wait until now?”

He nodded as if he was waiting for this question. “I read that withdrawal symptoms peak within 12-48 hours, and that it usually takes 5-7 days for the symptoms to resolve. So I wanted to wait out those 7 days just to make sure.”

You gave him a sad look. “But if I knew you were having withdrawal symptoms, I could have helped you. I really wish you would have told me.”

He sighed. “I wanted to do it on my own. To prove to myself that I could do it. That I wasn’t just going to quit halfway through and relapse.”

You nodded sympathetically. “Well, I’m really glad you told me now. We can get through this together.” You gave his hand a little pat. “You know this isn’t the end of it, right? It’s not just over when withdrawal symptoms stop. You still need to work out these issues that made you start this in the first place.”

He nodded. “I know. I want to try to get help now. I… I think I’m ready. I want to look into going to therapy, and maybe some support groups if I need them.” He squeezed your hand again. “I know I can make it through this, because I know you’ll be by my side.”

You smiled softly at him. “I’ll always be by your side.” Your hand trailed up his arms, looking back at the needle marks. “Do they… hurt?” you asked softly.

He shrugged. “Only when they first appear. They don’t hurt right now.”

You nodded, and you gently touched the marks on his arm. You looked at him, and you slowly brought his arm up so you could give every little mark a gentle kiss, to let him know that everything was going to get better soon.

He looked at you with big, loving eyes, and he started tearing up a bit. He pulled you in for a tight hug, sniffling as he buried his face in your neck. “I love you so much,” he said with a shaky voice.

You held him tight, rubbing his back to comfort him. “I love you too, Spence. Everything is going to be okay.” Your voice was calm and soothing. “I’m here now.”

…

Things started to get much better after that. Spencer was way more comfortable telling you when things were feeling more difficult than usual. Typically, it would be when he came home from a particularly emotional case. You were always there to hold him and to soothe him. There was no more aversion to your touch or need for extended silences. He felt comfortable in your arms, and he knew he could talk to you when something was bothering him.

He started seeing a therapist, and you always went there with him. Usually, you just sat outside the office for his sessions so he could have the one-on-one help he needed. Sometimes, if he was having a particularly rough week, he would bring you in with him for extra support. And you were always there when he needed you.

It took a bit of time, but you learned how to help with whatever he needed you for. If he needed a distraction, you could always come up with some activity to get his mind off of things. You played a lot of board games, and started learning to bake so you could just pull out a new recipe to try and he could focus on getting everything just right. When he just needed someone to listen to him, or a shoulder to cry on, you didn’t mind being that person for him. And sometimes he just wanted to be held, saying that the physical touch grounded him. You were always happy to hold him. 

Over time, things got easier and easier to deal with. Eventually, things seemed to be fully back to normal. You both knew that this was always going to be a struggle that could come back, but you knew how to handle it now, and you were certain that you could get through any struggle that ever tried to get in your way.