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kittykat-25 · 7 months

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Golden Hour

Pairings: Park Seonghwa x OC! Katherine

Genre: Hogwarts AU, strangers to lovers(?), shy girl x popular boy

Summary: Park Seonghwa, the light of the Hufflepuff Common room, the Golden boy if you will. Popular, kind, handsome beyond belief. 1/8th of the rowdiest friend group to grace Hogwarts walls. And then there was Katherine, quiet, shy, a fly on the wall. Never seen or heard by anyone except Seonghwa. What happened when the popular golden boy falls for the quiet mouse of the school.

Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5

Seonghwa walked into the dining hall, surrounded by his usually friends. The loud booming voice of Wooyoung bouncing off the walls. His eyes slid over to the hufflepuff table, towards the end where his friend was sitting. As he said his goodbyes he joined his housemates, everyone saying hello as he passed by. He sat down next to Mingi whose head was stuck in a book. “Mingi you don’t even read this much for classes? What new creature did you find?” Hwa asked the younger boy. “Just refreshing my brain on the hypogriff.” Mingi said reaching for his glass of pumpkin juice. Not paying any attention, Hwa moved the cup at the last second before the boy could spill it. “Mingi at least look where your hand is going please.” He said setting the glass out of Mingi’s reach.

Seonghwa felt eyes on him and looked up, briefly making eye contact with a fellow housemate, she quickly looked away, tucking a strand of her long hair behind her ear. Mingi looked up and followed his friends eyes, “if you keep staring, she’s never going to sit down here again.” He whispered. Seonghwa looked at his friend, “what are you talking about?” He heard a rustling and when he looked back the girl was gone. “See. I told you.” Mingi said shoving a piece of orange in his mouth. “She’s an enigma. She only talks to a couple of the girls but I don’t think I’ve ever seen her outside of class.” Mingi continued, “and now you stared and scared her.” Seonghwa kept looking around the hall, she had completely vanished. “I didn’t mean to scare her. I just noticed her down there.” He said quietly, “what’s her name?” He asked. “I actually don’t know. I don’t think I’ve ever heard her speak.” Mingi said as he gathered his books, grabbing a pastry as well. “I have charms but I’ll see you later!” He said as he sprinted out of the hall.

As seonghwa finished up breakfast and headed towards the potions classroom he couldn’t shake the image of that girl from him mind. “What has you so lost in thought?” A voice called out, Seonghwa looked to his left and found Hongjoong strolling up beside him. “Nothing, did you finish the potions essay?” He asked changing the subject. Seonghwa knew his friend, and once he had something in mind he wouldn’t let it go easily. Better to not mention the girl at all. “Of course I did, can’t stay top of our class without doing the work Hwa.” Hongjoong said quietly. Just as Seonghwa went to answer he caught a glimpse of a girl in the corner of his eye. He turned towards her. It was her, she looked at him with wide eyes before quickly walking into the potions classroom. “Ah the distraction I presume.” Hongjoong said opening the door. “Shut up Joong.” He’s said as he found his seat. He quickly looked around the classroom and found you in the back corner, writing something and talking quietly with your table partner. “If you’re going to stare at the poor girl at least say hi before you scare her.” Hongjoong said opening his text book. Seonghwa turned around and leaned back in the chair. He was never going to hear the end of it from Hongjoong.

As Katherine doodled in her notebook her seatmate, Danielle nudged her “Park Seonghwa is looking over here.” She slowly looked up, sure enough she locked eyes with the gorgeous man. He gave a small wave, just then the back door flew open and the potions professor strolled in to begin the lesson. As Katherine sat there writing notes, she could feel eyes on her. Not used to being seen she forced herself to remain calm. She looked up at the board and could see Seonghwa staring at her. “Mr. Park, is there something in the back corner that is more fascinating than my lesson?” The professor asked, snapped Seonghwa out of his daze. “No, sir. My apologies.” As class ended Seonghwa had decided to approach you but by the time he had gathering his things and turned around you were gone, like smoke in the wind. “Better luck next time.” Hongjoong said steering Hwa out of the classroom. “She’s in your house. Just look for her in the common room.” He added. They turned the corner and found their group of friends sitting at the base of the stairs, “it’s like they have no life other than to wait on us.” Hongjoong said loud enough for the other boys to hear. Seonghwa laughed and made his way over. Not noticing the girl sitting at the base opposite stairwell, watching with an amused smile on her face.

Seonghwa’s friend were a lot, as the eight of them had been stuck like glue since his 3rd year. He met Hongjoong his first year on the train, and they had bickered the whole way but now considered him his other half. There was never Seonghwa without Hongjoong and vice versa. They had met Yunho and Yeosang the next year. Quiet Yeo sitting with an excited energetic boy on the train had quickly asked Seonghwa to sit with them. The four of them became seven as Yunho’s childhood friend Mingi joined the next year bringing Wooyoung and San along. The train compartment getting louder and louder. People knowing them by name and teachers doing their best to separate them. Then the youngest joined. Jongho, And with him came a sense of brotherhood. They looked out for each other, and the eight of them were given the name Ateez by the other students. All in different houses but brothers just the same. He loved them more than he loved himself.

Except in this moment. When he would like to strangle Hongjoong for telling the others about his mystery girl. Whose name he still didn’t know. It had been a week and it was driving him crazy. “You saw her twice and didn’t think to ask her name?” Wooyoung said, voice echoing through the empty classroom. “No he was too busy staring at her to speak.” Hongjoong said with a laugh. “Hwa you know everyone. How have you never noticed this girl?” San asked. To be frank Seonghwa wasn’t sure how he had missed you the past 6 years he’d been here. He knew almost everyone in the school, or they knew him at least. He was the friendliest of the eight, besides Yunho. “She’s not in one of his fan clubs?” Their youngest asked, smirked at his elder. Wooyoung laughed, “ah is that still going on? I thought she would’ve given up by now?” Yunho rolled his eyes, “please Vivian would rather get through in the lake with the squid then give up on perfect golden boy over there.” Seonghwa scoffed, “she’s just friendly, she’s like that to everyone.” Yeosang looked at him like he had grown three heads, “Hwa I’ve met vipers nicer than Vivian.” Seonghwa stood up, tired of this conversation and grabbed his bag, “I’m going to get Mingi from the greenhouse. Are you lot coming or not?” Yunho stood up and stretched, “you coddle him too much Hwa.” Seonghwa rolled his eyes and walked to the door. “You do too, I just make sure he’s not losing my house points by being out after dark.” He closed the door to Wooyoung yelling, “don’t get caught by Filch.” Hwa shook his head as the door latched and made his way down to the greenhouse.

He was walking down through the courthouse when he heard a yelp come from the other side of the fountain. He walked towards it and came face to face with Katherine and Mrs. Norris, Filch’s cat. The latter had Katherine crouched against the side of the fountain. Books strewn everywhere. “Are you alright?” Seonghwa asked. Katherine looked up, eyes round. “Yeah the bloody cat just scared me.” Seonghwa looked a bit amused as he shooed Mrs Norris away from the girl. He crouched down to pick up her books. “Want to tell me why your crouched down?” He asked and he crouched beside her. “I’m not crouched.” She said back quickly. Hwa gave her a sideways glance. Completely enamored by the girl. “I went to stand up and the dumb thing was under my feet and I stepped on her tail. Scared me to death when her claw sank into my leg.” She said half laughing. Seonghwa processed her words, “your leg, is it okay?” Katherine shrugged, “I’m sure it’s fine. It’s just a scratch.” Seonghwa was not convinced, “it can get infected. You should probably go see madam Pomfry.” He suggested. “I’m not sure she’ll have medicine for half cat half demon scratches.” Katherine grumbled as she stood. Seonghwa laughed, standing with her, “madam Pomfry has everything. Woman is a miracle worker.” He smiled as she looked up at him. “I never got your name. I’m so sorry!” He said quickly. She smiled, “Katherine, or Kat. Whichever.” “Katherine” Seonghwa repeated, “yes?” She asked as she gathered her things.

Seonghwa felt his cheeks redden. Realizing he said her name just to see how it felt. “I can’t believe I haven’t seen you before.” He said quickly, grabbing her scarf from the fountain. “I don’t really make myself known.” Katherine said walking around the fountain towards the castle entrance. “Have a good night Seonghwa.” She said as she walked inside leaving him speechless staring after her. “What are you doing?” A voice said behind him, Mingi. Covered in dirt, holding a small potted plant. “I was coming to get you but I ran into the girl from the dining hall.” He said staring after her. “She’s in our house. You’ll see her again soon if you’d come on.” Mingi said as he yanked the door open. Walking through the hallways Mingi told Hwa all about the plants he’s growing and how madam Sprout is letting him take control over some of them. “Im proud of you Mingi. You’re doing really well.” Hwa said as they went through the portrait into the common room. Seonghwa’s eyes instantly searching for Katherine. His eyes found her curled up in an oversized chair with her eyes scanning a book, she looked up sensing someone watching her. He gave her a smile, one she returned this time and Seonghwa thought he heart was going to beat out of his chest. “You finally talk to her?” Mingi asked quietly beside him. Seonghwa just nodded and made his way up to their dorm room. “Her names Katherine.” Seonghwa said, still smiling. “You like her.” Mingi said, not as a question but stating a fact. “Seonghwa shook his head, “no I barely know her. I’m just intrigued.” Mingi just laughed as he threw himself on the bed, “you are so screwed man.” As Seonghwa laid in bed that night, replaying the conversation over and over again he couldn’t help but think that maybe his younger friend was right.

A/N: HEHEHE these are my two favorite things! Harry Potter and Ateez🤍

I hope you enjoy this story and thank you to the lovely @sundaybossanova for the idea and helping me with this 🖤

If you want to be added to the taglist let me know!

TAGLIST🥰 sorry you all are stuck with me

@sundaybossanova @vampzity @skzline @sanslovesblog @scarfac3 @mingisbbokari @edenesth @amuromio

#ateez #harry potter #park seonghwa #hongjoong #mingi #yunho #yeosang #choi san #wooyoung #jongho #original character #golden boy #shygirl

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lgbtqreads · 2 months

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not to b sappy on main but i really just wanted to wholeheartedly thank you for this. i read whatever i could get my hands on when i was younger, because i hadn’t really figured out my reading taste yet, just that i liked reading. and even after i realised i was queer, at first i didn’t really start seeking out books with queer characters in them. i guess i felt like i was an abnormality — something i know that a lot of us feel, particularly if we grow up in a place where there isn’t anyone who is like us. but i’ve been trying to seek out more queer media and history this year, if only because i finally managed to internally embrace my queerness for the first time, and so for the first time, i wanted to know more about our history and our culture and i wanted to be someone who could see myself in queer characters. and your blog has just really really helped with that. at first, i was reading any queer books i could find, which was… nice, but i eventually got tired of books that weren’t from genres i enjoyed, or books where the entire cast was white (nothing’s wrong with being any race obviously, i’m just not white and so their experiences weren’t what i wanted to read, since i was reading to try and comfort and see myself — or close to myself, anyway), or books that just weren’t my thing. hence, this blog. i’m now reading queer novels, comics, essay collections etc all the time, and often the characters are the same kind of queerness as me, or from my country, or follow the same religion i do. and i can’t tell you how much that’s meant to me. i honestly feel like a different person — a lot happier, a lot more settled, a lot more of nodding my head to others’ experiences and crying because i no longer feel like i’m the only person who’s desi, african, queer etc (being at the intersection of a lot of different marginalised groups is… interesting, at least in my case it just meant i had less people from which to relate to and never really felt accepted anywhere as i was too different for each ‘group’…. something which reading all of these books has helped combat). so, yeah. i’m planning to write my own stories about queer people and characters now, and looking into archives that my country has for us. for the first time in a long time, i feel genuinely optimistic and excited about my future as a queer person, because it just… it just feels so much more like a community to me now, reconciling my childhood love of reading and all of my experiences and ethnicity and religion with my queerness. and i have you to thank for making that happen for me and i know, in some capacity, for a lot of others. just… this is super long and rambly, but i just kind of wanted to convey how much this has (and does) mean/t to me and how grateful i am. thank you for uplifting our voices — i never knew how much i needed to hear them, and how healed i would feel because of that.

This is the absolute most perfect kind of “long and rambly” and I’m not saying I’m crying but I’m not saying I’m not. Thank you so much for sharing this with me, and I’m so, so happy you’ve found books you love and that inspire you and that help encourage you to share your own voice with readers and the world.

I’ll be honest, it’s been a tough year and I have thought more than once about shutting down this blog because it does take a lot of time I don’t really have. But I think about a post that was sent to me a few years ago, and that always helps keep me going, and I know without a doubt this note will help inspire me when I need it too <3

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jay-avian · 1 year

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Finding True Inspiration

So I read this book for one of my creative writing classes called Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott (I highly recommend for anyone wanting advice on writing) and I came across a chapter that was really helpful in terms of truly being inspired to write your pieces. The chapter starts out by saying:

"If you find that you start a number of stories or pieces that you don't ever bother finishing, that you lose interest or faith in them along the way, it may be that there is nothing at their center about which you care passionately."

I firstly felt very called out by this fact. But then I kept reading, and I understood. In this essay, I will try and explain what it means to write morally without being preachy.

Essentially what Lamott is saying is that everyone has some truth they must share, some core concepts in which you believe passionately and whole-heartedly. It is these concepts that drive a story. She's not of course saying to have some overall moral or message to your story. But characters in a book are in fact human, or at least have humanoid consciouses. Because of this, they are beautifully and wonderfully complex, just as humanity is.

You may want to write your stories because you got a cool worldbuilding idea or you want to use a cool character concept. You may want to include some really cool quotes you thought of in the shower or at 3am in bed. But as you write, "...what seems to happen almost organically is that you end up wanting your characters to act out the drama of humankind. Much of this drama does not involve witticisms and shimmer. Yet this drama is best couched in moral terms; the purpose of most great writing seems to be to reveal in an ethical light who we are." We inevitably make our characters into ourselves and those around us. As unrealistic as the world we throw them in may be, good characters should always provide a sense of grounding for the reader and a good foundation for the writer.

Why do we like the books that we do? What makes us drawn to certain characters? A good story is driven by good characters, this is a lesson I'm sure we've all been taught at some point in class or on the internet. But why is this? It is, in fact, because those characters are driven by much of the same things we are, "...they internalize some decency in the world... They let us see that there is in fact some sort of moral compass still at work here, and that we, too, could travel by this compass if we so choose." The plot only leads our characters together. And though they may find themselves lost, their compass still knows the way, unfaltering.

In my classes, we are taught the difference between "literary" works vs genre works. Literary works have some sort of lesson of life within them, while genre is very plot heavy and typically is predictable. I began resenting this esteemed view of literary and nonfiction is much better than genre, it means so much more. But of course, there are quite a number of genre works that can be considered literary: Lord of the Rings, Frankenstein, The Narnia Chronicles, Beowulf, to name a few notable ones. Some of the "classics" as they're called do have the intention of teaching some moral lesson. But this moral message doesn't have to always be a lesson; it's something you must care about passionately. We know that we live in a world of greedy dragons, we don't need reminders of this. Instead, tell us how we should live, how we should care. "A moral position is not a slogan, or wishful thinking. It doesn't come from outside or above. It begins inside the heart of a character and grows from there." Don't just write about the truth, write about your truth. Only then can you be truly attached to your writing. Only then can your readers be as in love with your story as you are.

(p.s. - I wrote this instead of actually writing an essay for school)

#writing advice #creative writing #writing tips #writing resources #writing motivation #writing community #writers of tumblr #anne lamott #bird by bird #tumblr essay

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spocks-husband · 1 year

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vulcan has no moon.

Words: 1,255

Genre/Tropes: Fluff, old married Spirk <3

Summary: Spock is overwhelmed, but thankfully he always has his favorite person with him to make sure he's alright <3

Notes: This was originally published on my AO3 (link included lol), but I thought I'd put it here too :) this takes place like. Sometimes post Search For Spock?? Idk it's during the TOS movies. Enjoy !!

When he was still in the academy, a hopeful young Starfleet trainee with a fervent ambition for his studies, Spock had stayed up late one night writing an essay for his astrophysics class about the sort of force it might take for two astronomical objects that had orbited each other to fall out of that orbit. It had, of course, been many years since then-- several decades, in fact, which made him feel exceedingly aged-- and he scarcely remembered the essay or the assignment themselves... but he did remember his findings. Not because he had much interest in astrophysics-- in all honesty, the subject had rather bored him during the time he spent studying it-- no, that wasn't it at all. In fact, Spock found that the way the subject seemed to stick in his head the way it did, periodically rising to the surface accompanied by flashing images of his husband's timeless, smiling face, had very little to do with the content of his report itself and much more to do with the conclusion he'd found in his research.

"Simply put, two celestial bodies in orbit, unless influenced by a massive and most likely artificial source of gravitational pull will not fall out of orbit from each other. Of course, should this happen regardless it would result in disastrous consequences for both astronomical objects in question, but considering that it has already been established that the chances of this occurring are nearly if not impossible, it is not a concern relevant for modern scientists to attempt at preventing as it would be illogical to do so."

Spock thought about those words as he sat stiffly at the Kirk family dinner table, his face neutral and strangely calm, yet his mind somewhere else entirely. He held no resentment toward his husband's family-- his in-laws, as Jim called them (which was not a term Spock understood in the slightest), had been nothing but kind and loving to him, albeit in their own, somewhat unfamiliar way. He appreciated them, he respected them, but...

Surak help him they were loud.

Spock really did not mean any sort of discourtesy in that, hence why he would never announce such a thing aloud (he had learned over his many, many years working with humans that they tended to be... finicky... when it came to certain statements of bluntness and as such he'd found, mostly through trial and error and long, patient, confusing discussions with his husband, what it was that he was socially permitted to say around humans-- or, actually, come to think of it, sometimes even other Vulcans. Maybe he just wasn't good with social cues across the universe.). In his mind-- which is where he had elected the statement would stay, it was more of an observation than anything. Still, though, he found it rather overwhelming. He didn't mind spending time with Jim's family-- he wanted to, even, it was only fair considering the odd amount of time Jim had spent around Sarek over the course of their relationship-- but Spock couldn't help feeling that the Kirk family could be rather... exhausting. He tried not to think about it, but as he felt that steady, familiar sensation of overwhelmedness creep up his spine he feared that any longer in this house may kill him.

Suddenly, he felt Jim's hand rest over his own, the slightly cold sensation of his husband's ring touching gently to his skin.

"Hey, Spock and I are gonna head out for some fresh air," Jim announced, standing up and gently moving aside two of his younger nephews who'd been at his side questioning him about anything they could think to ask about the final frontier. James took his husband's hand gently, and Spock didn't argue as they walked out the front door and into the cool nighttime air.

Spock felt himself let go of a breath he hadn't known he was holding, the door shutting behind them and leaving the two men in a comfortable evening silence.

"I could tell you were getting a bit antsy in there," James chuckled, taking Spock's hands in his own carefully.

"Vulcans do not get... antsy," Spock mumbled, slightly embarrassed.

"Vulcans don't, maybe, but my husband does," James snickered in response. "Come on, let's go for a walk."

Spock was quiet for a long moment before, slowly, he nodded, a subtle smile creeping onto his face. It was a slight change, something barely even there... that only James Tiberius Kirk would've noticed. There were a lot of things about Spock that only Jim ever saw. Small things, nearly inconsequential things... but, when it came to S'Chn T'Gai Spock, Jim didn't think anything was inconsequential. Every movement, every twitch, every glance... it meant something. Jim had known his husband for far longer than he'd known himself, he knew better than anyone that nothing Spock ever did was purposeless.

"I am feeling rather... lightheaded," Spock said quietly. "Earth's atmosphere has far more oxygen than the atmosphere of Vulcan, and although I have been here many times my body has yet to have grown accustomed to the change."

Jim hummed softly. "Do you want to sit down?" He asked gently. Spock seemed like he wanted to protest, but slowly he seemed to pause and reconsider before agreeing. Jim smiled softly at this, leading his husband off the path and into a nearby field, laying down next to him and staring up at the dimly lit stars above.

It was strange, really; the two of them had seen the stars at far closer a glance, and yet here they were, admiring them the same way Earthlings had done for thousands and thousands of years, long before the idea of space travel was even considered. They had traveled the universe together. They'd nearly died a thousand times out in the vast, cold depths of space-- hell, once one of them had died and it took more sacrifice than either of them liked to think about to bring him back. There was something romantic in that tragedy. Something tragic in that romance. Yet, like they had as younger men who'd fallen in love on a starship that became more home to the both of them than either of their native lands, they chose not to let such things linger on for too long. The philosophical questions of their love, of their lives, could perhaps be explored another day, in another galaxy. They would have time.

"... Spock...?" Jim asked quietly, almost hesitant in his voice. Spock found it curiously... uncharacteristic.

"Yes, Jim?" Spock responded, still holding onto his husband's hand with an almost desperate conviction.

"... Do you think we're ever going to be... you know... separated... again...?"

Spock paused to consider the question.

"Perhaps we will," he whispered. His eyes found themselves drawn to the full moon laying lazily in the sky, its shimmering light twinkling gently down onto them. He thought once again of that essay he'd written during his academy years. For a moment, he wasn't certain why the thought had appeared in his mind... but suddenly he knew. And suddenly he found a small smile once again creep onto his face. He squeezed Jim's hand in his own. "But it would be illogical to prepare for an event which has a nearly if not impossible likeliness of occurring."

Jim was quiet for a long moment-- but after the breeze that whipped carefully around them in the grass seemed to urge him to respond, he found himself smiling too.

"I suppose you're right, Mr. Spock."

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id0ntkn0w0101 · 1 year

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How to Plan a Book for Spontaneous Overthinkers - Basic Planning

Greetings readers and writers, in this post I will go over how I am planning my current novel. As always, please note that I am not a published author, just someone who has been writing for as long as I can remember and has both autism and a very short attention span. This means that my 'tism needs me to plan or I get overwhelmed, but my attention span hates the long process of planning and gets bored writing something that's already planned. So this is how I do my basic planning.

As mentioned in the previous post, this is the mindmap I use in OneNote for my planning. It's divided into steps, so I have markers for what needs to be done but is vague enough that I don't feel like I'm writing an essay about my idea. Here's how it works:

Genre Expectations: What are the expectations a reader will have if they look up your genre at the bookstore and find your book? If you're wanting to make money off of it, what will people want to read in that genre? For more information on this particular step, please see my previous post in this little series, found on my page.

The second step technically depends on preference. Sometimes I plan my setting first and other times I plan my characters. 2A: What is the status quo? This means what is the norm in this world. In order for their to be conflict, something needs to have changed. What disrupts the status quo? This could be a dragon attacking a medieval city or something as simple as a character getting broken up with. 2B: Who are your characters? I recommend 3 positive MCs at most, because any more than that will be hard to write AND hard to read. Which characters are the protagonists and which are the antagonists. Some characters may not be positive or negative, or they could change sides throughout the story. But the important thing to know is that you need at least 1 positive main character and at least 1 negative main character. I like to think of it as the antagonist pushing the story forward and the protagonist pulling the story back to normalcy. To tie it in to 2A, the protagonist is pulling the world back to the status quo.

What plot points do you know happen? Don't push yourself to plot map everything all at once if you don't know everything yet. Simply write down what you do know in chronological order. As a vague example: 1)Main character gets broken up with right as a major catastrophe occurs, 2)Main character slowly heals and meets someone new, 3)Main character discovers that their new lover was the one who caused the catastrophe. Ideally you'll have 5 plot points: 2 for the introduction/rising action, 1 for the climax, 1 for the falling action, and 1 for the conclusion. However, the more you plan everything else, the easier it will be to figure out the rest of the plot, so only write down what you already know. It's worth mentioning that this planning method will likely be used mostly for the first draft, and your plot points can majorly change once you write more and finish your first draft.

Where does all of this take place? I like to do this step now because by now I usually have a good idea of where everything is taking place. I recommend having a setting for each of the major plot points from the previous step, plus a general idea for the world this takes place in as a whole. Even if your book takes place in our own world, you still need to establish a general setting.

Themes! I love having this as my final step, because I usually know what my themes are by the end of the other planning steps. However, I am not an expert in themes, so if you aren't sure what themes your own work has, I recommend researching and figuring out what sticks. The theme is essentially the last piece of a puzzle: Sure it can exist without the last piece, but it will never be complete without it.

I hope you all enjoyed this post! I most likely won't be continuing the daily guide posts like this until I finish plot planning my own work in progress, but I might do a bit of a "writing diary" where I recap the work I do on my planning on the days where I work on it. If you have any questions and aren't an ass, please comment!

#writers #writing advice #creative writing #writeblr #writing #writers block #on writing #writer

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juusankai · 2 years

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A little something about the seiyuu, Umehara Yuuichirou that I want to get off my chest.

As the Fall Anime Season approached me, I looked for different series I could watch in my spare time. Besides the ones I already wanted to watch I thought to myself I should check out MAL for an official listing of all the anime confirmed for the season. I thought to myself: "Hm...why not?". My curiosity was at it's peak.

As I scrolled the long list of anime, some of them that reached my interest, I immediately noted them down. One of them happened to be this long-titled isekai romance with a title I couldn't even understand. The poster of the anime didn't really peak my interest but I noted it down anyway.

The first episode aired and then the second one, the third one.

I was hooked.

"I'm the Villainess so I'm Taming the Final Boss" or Akulas for short hooked me from the first episode. The opening, the ending, the story, the MC and of course Claude, the Demon King, played by no one else than Umehara Yuuichirou.

What I'm trying to say is that Akulas introduced me to Umehara-san and I couldn't be more grateful. The tone of his voice? The raspy and velvety sound of his voice? Hearing him talking about how he wants to spoil his then fiancee to the rotten, just made me shiver. I had to look him up.

And that's where it all started...and now I feel like a teenager again, who fell in love with the boy who offered her his pencil because she forgot hers in the other backpack.

And when I looked him up it truly felt like home..somehow. I loved everything about him, his face, his style and his movements. His mannerisms and the way he talks in interviews. His calm demeanor and the way he says "Oi" when things get awkward around him. The way he forces out a laugh because he is out of energy and just wants to synchronize with the others. His weird humor and vulgar words that has 0 correlation with his personality. But I love that honesty.

I tried to clean up this photo of him since it's one of my favourites so far. I know it's the 1000th time I'm mentioning his beauty, but can I do it again? And again?

In the back of my mind I hope that one day I will meet him.

And in the deeper corners of my mind, a part of me wishes that "me" would never existed and another "me" would emerge, one who is closer to him.

I'm pretty sure we all love our idols, or seiyuus in this case, but didn't you ever wish you can be friends with them? See them everyday? Talk to them about their daily life. Or just be there to see their career take off?

I will always have Umehara-san in my mind and heart because he truly makes he happy. He offered me so much peace in a time where i felt angry, sad and lonely. I loved the sound of his voice, it made my heart tremble with happiness.

I want to meet him and I want to see him in real life.

But most I can do now is to support his career and watch it as it blooms. So far he has a few roles confirmed for 2023 which is great! I will name a few that come at the top of my mind.

Spy Classroom (main character)

Revenger (main cast)

Ayaka (main character)

The Reason why Raeliana Ended up at the Duke's Mansion (main character)

More of them to be confirmed. We will be very luck if we get him in Jigokuraku or Jujutsu Kaisen. He could do a great Toji. Or we get even luckier and get him as the main character in My Happy Marriage.

No matter what kind of character he will play, I will be there to support it, watch his lives, save his pictures, think about him when a love song starts playing and talk about him just like I did now.

And as I'm entering the conclusion for this little essay, I want to bring attention to the fact that he is also in a band!

It's called Sir Vanity and they have an album out! Go check it out and stream it. Their genre is rock and a very good one. Some of the tracks have been written by Umehara himself and surprise, surprise he writes about break ups. He can sing really well and guitar too. The other 3 members are talented as well so please support them! They will have a new song out so please follow their social media! They have an official Twitter account.

So, as I'm typing my final words I'm hoping that you, my dearest reader, had the patience to at least read a bit about Umehara. Maybe you will end up loving him as much as I do.

I will link now some of the social media that might help you learn about Umehara-san a bit better.

Yuuichirou Umehara official Twitter account: https://twitter.com/UmeuMeumE_Y?t=9QDkhFiESomsDnCogENQkg&s=09

Sir Vanity Official Twitter Account:

https://twitter.com/SirVanity?t=gv29iHmsGz3LUZ5_UcuKqw&s=09

Sir Vanity official YouTube channel:

Sir Vanity official Spotify account so you can officially stream their album and other songs:

His "Behind the Voice Actors" page so you can see more of his roles:

His radio show "Hyrotto Danshi" with Nishimya Koutarou:

"Saturday Machiavellism Night", Umehara's radio show:

And you can follow @/umeupdates for daily posts, news about Umehara on Instagram:

https://instagram.com/umeupdates?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

That was all! Thank you for reading.

#umehara yuichiro #seiyuu #voiceactor #his voice #random rant #spring season #anime #im the villainess so im taming the final boss #i love umehara #sirvanity #music #Spotify

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nanowrimo · 2 years

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Meet Our New NaNo Interns: Josie and Lena!

We feel super lucky here at NaNo HQ to be able to work with some excellent interns! Today, meet our newest cohort of interns: Josie and Lena. You’ll be getting to know them better throughout November, but today they’re here to tell you a little about themselves:

Josie, Editorial & Programs Intern:

I discovered NaNoWriMo at an important time in my life. I was in sixth grade and was known by my teachers as a lover of books, writing, and art. I never thought about combining those interests in a serious way, outside of the silly little comics I would produce.

And then I discovered there was a month-long challenge to write a novel. Anyone could do it, even if I was just a spunky twelve year old! I instantly signed up and dove right into the challenge. I don’t really remember what I wrote that year, since that word document was lost to the depths of time. I know it didn’t make any sense. I also know I didn’t even win that year. But I had fun writing way past my bedtime. I had fun drawing my characters and planning out wild shenanigans for them to get involved in. This experience with NaNoWriMo was something that would happen year after year and I enjoyed sharing that time with other young writers.

Now, I’m an adult. I never lost my love for books, loving them so much I ended up getting a degree in analyzing them. I never stopped drawing either.

It would be a lie to say I stopped writing. I wrote plenty and I have many essays and scripts to prove that. It’s just been a while since I wrote 100% for myself, outside of a graded assignment. I started to miss that feeling of being surrounded by other writers and getting lost in the world I created. I was reminded of those Novembers long past and found myself thinking, “Hey, remember NaNoWriMo? When was the last time you did that?”

Then I saw there was a NaNoWriMo internship opening for this fall, and well, here I am, your new Editorial and Programs intern! I’ll be writing alongside each and every one of you. It’s a daunting task and I have a lot to learn, but I know this journey will be an enjoyable one.

Lena, Marketing & Fund Development Intern:

Hello all! As someone whose been following NaNoWriMo since the age of thirteen, now that I’m starting 21 as the first Marketing & Fundraising Intern, I’ve been nothing but excited to be on this journey. I’ve been in love with stories since I was small, reading, writing, daydreaming to procrastinate my writing, all the things. My mother is Yaqui, Indigenous to a tribe from Sonora, Mexico, that later fled to the United States. In my journey to accessibility, education, and action, I’m hoping to tell stories of my family’s history and of the future of our world. It doesn’t hurt if there are magic and dragons involved though, right? My go-to stories are fairytale and mythology retellings and re-imaginings, predominantly in the fantasy genre. Give me Legendborn, Percy Jackson, or Cinderella is Dead any day! In lieu of my college career, I’ve become a full-time caregiver for a loved one. Being a part of a team that is so incredibly accommodating to that in my dream organization and being able to interact at community events has been the greatest blessing. I’m so excited to further engage with all of you this November!

#nanowrimo #writing #nanowrimo 2022 #intern #introductions #by nano intern #josie gepulle #lena rodriguez

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ofmermaidstories · 2 years

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MERMS! Hello :)

your updates are never annoying, i love every little tidbit. It reminds me of this post:

https://at.tumblr.com/coffeepeople/i-find-it-endlessly-fascinating-that-most-humans/77nfpirtk9mu

Im incredibly busy and don’t really have people in my life tbh, but sometimes seeing your updates at the end of the day is enough because it brings a sense of comfort and normalcy, so I do appreciate them and you :)

anon. 🥺 hello, my hardworking love. 🌷🌈✨💕 this is me filling you in on all the gossip after work (while you’re in a oodie and we’re eating pasta).

okay, lemme think: i read a 20k+ review (takedown) of Lightlark, the YA book that got a 6 figure publishing deal because of the author’s tiktok about it. i love YA as a genre (it’s such a formative genre, as fiction for kids/bigger kids tends to be, so i do believe that that audience in particular deserve fun, good books to read) so i like to stickybeak in whatever drama is happening in their corner and the Lightlark thing has been pretty interesting! the linked review is not generous lmao, but outlines pretty solidly why it won’t be so if you’re bored and nosey it’s an interesting read!!!!! it does spoil the book though!!!!!!

what else what else. this isn’t fic related but i started a mubi trial because i thought they had in the mood for love but they don’t, and no streaming service in australia does either. :( i really want to watch it!!!! but that’s okay—i lined up some interesting looking films so im gonna work through them before the trial ends. i’m about to start i am not your negro, which i’m excited for because i’m currently in the middle of if beale street could talk. i also have la notte waiting; i think italian cinema is very beautiful and romantic, and im curious to see if it’s gonna make me grind my teeth like so many older films do, when it comes to how dickish the men in them are LOL. el topo (the trailer is not work friendly!!!) is also on my watchlist but if i’m completely honest i am not that great with surrealism as a genre—i tend to like my stories literal, and also it gives me war flashbacks to highschool, and having to write essays about Dali and melting clocks. 🥹 but i’ll watch it because i’ve always been curious about jodorowsky’s dune, and i think it’ll be fun to go into that documentary at least having a taste of jodo’s style!!! and then there’s also the 1972 doco three cheers for the whale—it looks like a history on whaling? 🧐 i’ll report back. i probably won’t subscribe to mubi because i need to be picky with my monthly bills lmao, so i’m determined to watch anything that looks interesting during my trial!!!

i’ve been going on a bender, lately, in like, actively seeking out stuff to consume. i went to the library a couple of weeks ago and walked out with six different books (and four manga volumes!!!) and i’m still making my way through them—i have two more books waiting on hold for me and a wishlist in my notes!!!! i’ve also pre-ordered jennette mccurdy’s i’m glad my mom died—basically i am trying my damndest to drown myself lmfao. this is not the norm for me—i don’t know what switch has flipped but eh. there’s worse things that i could be doing, i guess. 🥹

i’m trying to think of something else that might be interesting for you in our pasta-date. 🥺 i saw a tiktok just today of a indie author who specialises in, um, monster-loving, trying to decorate her laptop with monster-lover stickers and she had like, a logo for the writing group she was apart of and—!!! omg. writing groups when they’re with your friends seem so fun. i always get so jealous when i read about like, great artists or writers all hanging out in the same dingy parisian bar or whatever. sometimes i feel like my brain is so rotted from the constant overstimulation that is the internet and being connected to everything everywhere all at once—i would love to switch off for a few solid weeks and just sit in a café in a city half a world away with people who like creating the same kind of things and just—yeah. i think we must all have some variation of that dream, right? having enough time and space to be able to linger somewhere outside and write or knit or paint or read a good book. doing that without having to fret about money or having to make it. we’d all be such different people if we didn’t have to worry about maintaining the sawdust in our cages. 🥹 anon!!!!!!! my busybee anon—i hope you see this. you sound like you work hard and i want you to know i am very proud of you—it’s hard slog making a life for yourself, and i just know you have done wonderfully this week. 🌷💕 i will save the next few interesting tiktoks i see and squirrel away any funny twitter drama just for you, for our next dinner date. 📚🍳📝💕 happy weekend, my love, and i’ll see you on the other side of it. ☀️

#ofmermaidstories-asks #i’ll have to make notes on the next hot topic discussion i see to bring to the table LOL

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allylikethecat · 5 months

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my dear ally!!!!

friday’s ATKH update was so so wonderful & on a friday was equally as heartbreaking / exciting i must talk about it!!!!!

okay i am LIVING for hot & cocky fictional!george & his ability to make our sweet fictional!matty blush it is so cute and so fun lmao

the flowers???!! he brought him flowers??!!! and he was all flustered omg i could cry

also the Pop cameo??! super cute. I know absolutely nothing about horses but i love reading this fic so much bc your love and passion for horses comes through so beautifully especially with fictional!george and fictional!matty and it just makes the fic that much more genuine and enjoyable.

this chapter was so so adorable & i LOVE this insight into super cool fictional!george i just hope he keeps his romeo act up and doesn’t emotionally destroy our fictional!matty too much.

now i must dissect on a friday because OH MY GOD. I was so excited for this update it did NOT disappoint

the way you depict fictional!mattys discomfort and pain is so heartbreaking but so so good

the way this man only wants fictional!george like HELLO DUH he is the only one for you and we must make this happen!!

no but the way this genre is something i have avoided for many years & somehow i am so fully invested in this fic & this dynamic it is insane ally u are a genius and i am beyond obsessed

and fictional!george to the rescue!!!!!! i fear things r about to really kick off and i am very very excited.

you, my wonderful ally are a literary genius and you write gatty fic like no other & i thank u terribly for ur service.

also! to make this ask even more of an essay — I saw ur book discussion and just wanted to say i LOVE leigh bardugo & the ninth house/hell bent were so good - i haven’t got to the familiar yet but if you say its good i’ll have to bump it up my tbr list!!!

yours,

- 💌

AHH Hello My Dear Letter Anon! I hope you are well! I am about to write you an essay in return so buckle up!

I'm so happy that you enjoyed the new chapter of All the King's Horses! Writing a strictly happy / fluffy chapter was a new thing for me and I'm so glad you enjoyed it! The calm before the storm lol ATKH Fictional!George knows he is hot shit and has the advantage right now- plus making Fictional!Matty blush is so much fun! He's so cute all pink. Listen, no one has ever brought Fictional!Matty flowers before it was very unexpected and a lot for him to process lol Pop tried so hard to become the main character in this chapter lol I cut so much that was basically just him being cute, I was like sir this is not your story 😂 All I can say is... even if Fictional!George were to cause some hurt Fictional!Matty is tough, he's made it through worse already and unfortunately almost expects it at this point, things are starting to feel too good to be true to him at the moment...

YAY! Thank you so much for reading the new chapter of On a Friday as well! I know that ~things~ have happened and the ball is now ROLLING! Thank you so much I feel like that is the biggest compliment omg I am so happy that you're enjoying my writing style and the pain that Fictional!Matty is feeling, he wants Fictional!George SO MUCH and is so conflicted over this fact. Also thank you SO MUCH for giving it a chance, especially if it's not something that you usually read oh my gosh, I am even more honored that you're enjoying it! Hehe yes Fictional!George is on his way...

AHHH YES NINTH HOUSE FANS RISE UP I had the worst book hangover after I finished Hell Bent I was like WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE THIRD ONE ISNT OUT YET. I literally lay in bed at thinking about those books and I finished them in January lol SO GOOD Alex is like my current favorite book MC she is so fucked up and flawed but also so strong and badass? I love her and her gentleman demon. I'm about 100 pages into The Familiar so far- I'm doing a buddy read with my cousin which is fun! So far I think I am enjoying it, I'm not usually a huge Historical Fiction person but the fantasy aspect of it is interesting and I like Leigh Bardugo- I will report back once I have read more!

Thank you SO MUCH for sending me this wonderful multipart ask! I smiled so wide when I saw it! Also thank you so much for like reading my fics in the first place? You are incredible and I am so grateful! I hope your Tuesday was spectacular and that you have a wonderful rest of your week!

❤️Ally

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vitos-ordination-song · 9 months

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Having listened to interviews w David Foster Wallace and looked into what eventually gets around to happening in Infinite Jest, can I just say, he has to be one of the most insufferable authors of all time. I actually agree w him on almost everything, but god, he was so annoying with how he went about things.

The central conceit of Infinite Jest is good, but its style undermines it. For instance, the idea of a video that’s so entertaining people can’t stop watching and then die is potentially good. Could work for satire. But the book is so unbearably overwritten that every single flourish like that just becomes irritating. The “sponsored years” too—so many of these gimmicks could work for a short story, but for an incredibly long-winded and verbose book, they’re just painful. Like Kafka if he was trying to convince everyone he’s smart.

DFW was concerned about how life lived for entertainment and consumption was draining us of our humanity. I’m worried about it too. But what exactly did he accomplish with his book? I mean, no one’s gonna read it except people who already agree with him. I was also shocked to hear him say he was trying to write a “sad” book and was surprised anyone thought it was funny. The whole book feels like it’s trying desperately to be witty. Some of it actually is witty, but did he actually not know how he was coming across?

As to sad, well, I’d say there was pathos in one of the chapters I read, but that was about a throwaway character. And even that section was repetitive. DFW was good at capturing the mindset of an addict, but he did it so many times in the first 200 or so pages, with nothing new added each time, that I just got bored. Aside from that, I felt the book was devoid of feeling. It’s too up its own ass for most of the characters to feel like people.

I decided to drop it after a passage where Hal thinks about how the “defecatory posture” is “religious.” A single passage like that might be interesting or funny, but I have to stress how often quirky little musings like that were included. Nothing is ever phrased normally—it’s always trying to be as Clever and Unique as possible. Frankly my impression of DFW is that he was a pretty arrogant person who neurotically tried to pretend he wasn’t, so his writing turned into this mess of superfluous show-off moments which then undermine themselves. Frankly he should have just written a couple silly short stories or an essay and left it at that. I don’t think long-form fiction is ever good when it’s written exclusively to Make A Point About Society—there’s got to be some grounding and humanity to it.

In an interview, DFW discussed the issue of entertainment, saying that someone interested in making art these days either has to be anti-entertaining or entertaining while still critical of entertainment, which is paradoxical. He went the anti-entertainment route, which won him kudos with people who think Challenging Art is good regardless of actual quality. I can think of several auteurs who handled these issues better than DFW, though.

First is Ikuhara, who’s said that his goal is to “create a new value for entertainment.” I don’t think he set out to make avant garde anime—he just can’t help himself. He is uninterested in empty corporate entertainment. He works within the current paradigm of anime, essentially taking genres to their extreme. Rather than creating simple parodies, he instead finds the radical potential that does exist within entertainment and then uses it to create narratives about liberation from the alienation of modern society, along with other profound issues. I like Ikuhara more than DFW because, rather than self-denial, Ikuhara deals with his ego with unforced humor, acknowledging his dark side without apology. Skeptical of all human social behavior, he nonetheless also has a very earnest and authentic streak. I think that that stance is a lot more subversive than DFW’s interminable over-intellectualization and regressive ironic distance.

Another example would be Satoshi Kon’s Paranoia Agent. A lot more harsh and unforgiving than Ikuhara, Kon presents modern people as incapable of taking responsibility for anything. Immature and selfish, they entertain themselves until they reach a breaking point, at which time they explode, hoping a breakdown will get them out of all the troubles they’ve been trying to avoid. Inherent in this is self-victimization. Kon posits that some people are able to see through the system and retain a grasp on reality, but that society as a whole likely will not be able to get through the nuclear age.

I could go on about the many layers of social critique presented in the show, but that’s not really the focus of this post. I’ll finish by saying that Kon only needed 13 episodes to accomplish all this. I really question the type of artist who equates length and difficulty of parsing a story with quality. Now, I’m not saying that long and challenging stories are bad—I just don’t think they inherently make something good. Infinite Jest feels like an amalgam of writing flourishes which are considered to be elevated by today’s critics—multiple storylines, etc.—rather than a story someone wanted to tell from the bottom of their heart. Paranoia Agent is primarily social commentary, rather than straightforward narrative fiction, but it is still “entertaining”—as in, it tells a story I care about. Infinite Jest wasn’t boring, but it was annoying, because I couldn’t figure out what in the hell I’m supposed to be emotionally invested in. That’s fine for a short story, but doesn’t cut it for a novel that’s over a thousand pages long.

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awfullydxpeched2 · 2 years

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Something I did this week:

I listened to I Am by Earth, Wind, and Fire for my album club here at UC Davis. I’ve always liked disco music, specifically the Bee Gees, but hadn’t listened to much Earth, Wind, and Fire. I really enjoyed most of the album, it was a different take on disco then what I have heard previously, which was more funk and rhythm section based.

2. Response to an assigned reading: Debate over free speech versus hate speech on college campuses raises censorship concerns

I found this article interesting, but I largely disagree with the idea that free speech of ideas different than our own should be tolerated because it's a virtue that should be learned. In my opinion, when it comes to something like Turning Point USA, which promotes dangerous conservative ideals, which are a large part of the problem with what is happening in politics lately with conservatives, these ideas shouldn't be tolerated. It is perfectly just to frown upon these ideas involving things like racism, homophobia, transphobia, because they are directly contributing to harmful ideas and actions against everyday people, and they should not have the ability to have free speech when they are promoting violent ideas that are harming others.

3. Reflection on a digital tool (such as one you use or are investigating) or social medium:

I have been investigating BeReal as a social medium. I joined the app in November 2022 but never used it consistently until around early February of this year. The app's purpose is to bring authenticity to social media, but it only takes two minutes to take a picture, and the app takes a picture from both the front and back camera. This is part of why I never liked social media because I try to control my image on it all the time; I thought BeReal could be different. In some ways it is; when I first started using it I found I tried to control the pictures I take or my appearance in them, but the more I have used I've found myself just taking pictures in the spur of the moment, and focusing less on the stress of a perfectly appearing image for others to see.

4. Reflection on a productivity strategy or hack that you have found helpful:

I've found my notes app to be very helpful. I do a lot of writing in my free time, not always academic, but just things of interest to me. I found there will be random times where good ideas for a essay or article or a certain part of an article or essay I am working on will randomly come to mind, originally I didn't write them down, often these ideas came at odd times like in the shower or between 1 and 3 am and didn't really think to write them down. But I started writing them down in on my notes app, to have them to refer to when writing and this has made my process as a writer stronger.

5. Five resources:

6. Two quotes:

“To be goth, or gothic, or gothically inclined has always meant this in terms of the larger world: You are outside the norm. Misunderstood. Sometimes abused. Goths are keenly aware of this.”

“The characteristic features of the genre… were echoing guitars, slow, repetitive drums and wailing vocals fused into a eerie, hazy sound. Song lyrics revolved around the dark recesses of the human soul, death, suffering, and destruction as well as unfulfilled romance and isolation, but also the most arcane, taboo aspects of magic and mythology…”

7. Topics I am researching:

Goth and commodification

Goth and popular culture

Goth in relation to identity and stereotypes

Goth in relation to race

8. Something I did this week:

I created a workshop presentation with activities on brainstorming for writing at Folsom Lake College in a digital format, as well as being accessible for different learning styles, for disabled students or students with learning difficulties, as well as creating materials for argument essay's workshops.

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qqueenofhades · 3 years

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The Green Knight and Medieval Metatextuality: An Essay

Right, so. Finally watched it last night, and I’ve been thinking about it literally ever since, except for the part where I was asleep. As I said to fellow medievalist and admirer of Dev Patel @oldshrewsburyian, it’s possibly the most fascinating piece of medieval-inspired media that I’ve seen in ages, and how refreshing to have something in this genre that actually rewards critical thought and deep analysis, rather than me just fulminating fruitlessly about how popular media thinks that slapping blood, filth, and misogyny onto some swords and castles is “historically accurate.” I read a review of TGK somewhere that described it as the anti-Game of Thrones, and I’m inclined to think that’s accurate. I didn’t agree with all of the film’s tonal, thematic, or interpretative choices, but I found them consistently stylish, compelling, and subversive in ways both small and large, and I’m gonna have to write about it or I’ll go crazy. So. Brace yourselves.

(Note: My PhD is in medieval history, not medieval literature, and I haven’t worked on SGGK specifically, but I am familiar with it, its general cultural context, and the historical influences, images, and debates that both the poem and the film referenced and drew upon, so that’s where this meta is coming from.)

First, obviously, while the film is not a straight-up text-to-screen version of the poem (though it is by and large relatively faithful), it is a multi-layered meta-text that comments on the original Sir Gawain and the Green Knight, the archetypes of chivalric literature as a whole, modern expectations for medieval films, the hero’s journey, the requirements of being an “honorable knight,” and the nature of death, fate, magic, and religion, just to name a few. Given that the Arthurian legendarium, otherwise known as the Matter of Britain, was written and rewritten over several centuries by countless authors, drawing on and changing and hybridizing interpretations that sometimes challenged or outright contradicted earlier versions, it makes sense for the film to chart its own path and make its own adaptational decisions as part of this multivalent, multivocal literary canon. Sir Gawain himself is a canonically and textually inconsistent figure; in the movie, the characters merrily pronounce his name in several different ways, most notably as Sean Harris/King Arthur’s somewhat inexplicable “Garr-win.” He might be a man without a consistent identity, but that’s pointed out within the film itself. What has he done to define himself, aside from being the king’s nephew? Is his quixotic quest for the Green Knight actually going to resolve the question of his identity and his honor – and if so, is it even going to matter, given that successful completion of the “game” seemingly equates with death?

Likewise, as the anti-Game of Thrones, the film is deliberately and sometimes maddeningly non-commercial. For an adaptation coming from a studio known primarily for horror, it almost completely eschews the cliché that gory bloodshed equals authentic medievalism; the only graphic scene is the Green Knight’s original beheading. The violence is only hinted at, subtextual, suspenseful; it is kept out of sight, around the corner, never entirely played out or resolved. In other words, if anyone came in thinking that they were going to watch Dev Patel luridly swashbuckle his way through some CGI monsters like bad Beowulf adaptations of yore, they were swiftly disappointed. In fact, he seems to spend most of his time being wet, sad, and failing to meet the moment at hand (with a few important exceptions).

The film unhurriedly evokes a medieval setting that is both surreal and defiantly non-historical. We travel (in roughly chronological order) from Anglo-Saxon huts to Romanesque halls to high-Gothic cathedrals to Tudor villages and half-timbered houses, culminating in the eerie neo-Renaissance splendor of the Lord and Lady’s hall, before returning to the ancient trees of the Green Chapel and its immortal occupant: everything that has come before has now returned to dust. We have been removed even from imagined time and place and into a moment where it ceases to function altogether. We move forward, backward, and sideways, as Gawain experiences past, present, and future in unison. He is dislocated from his own sense of himself, just as we, the viewers, are dislocated from our sense of what is the “true” reality or filmic narrative; what we think is real turns out not to be the case at all. If, of course, such a thing even exists at all.

This visual evocation of the entire medieval era also creates a setting that, unlike GOT, takes pride in rejecting absolutely all political context or Machiavellian maneuvering. The film acknowledges its own cultural ubiquity and the question of whether we really need yet another King Arthur adaptation: none of the characters aside from Gawain himself are credited by name. We all know it’s Arthur, but he’s listed only as “king.” We know the spooky druid-like old man with the white beard is Merlin, but it’s never required to spell it out. The film gestures at our pre-existing understanding; it relies on us to fill in the gaps, cuing us to collaboratively produce the story with it, positioning us as listeners as if we were gathered to hear the original poem. Just like fanfiction, it knows that it doesn’t need to waste time introducing every single character or filling in ultimately unnecessary background knowledge, when the audience can be relied upon to bring their own.

As for that, the film explicitly frames itself as a “filmed adaptation of the chivalric romance” in its opening credits, and continues to play with textual referents and cues throughout: telling us where we are, what’s happening, or what’s coming next, rather like the rubrics or headings within a medieval manuscript. As noted, its historical/architectural references span the entire medieval European world, as does its costume design. I was particularly struck by the fact that Arthur and Guinevere’s crowns resemble those from illuminated monastic manuscripts or Eastern Orthodox iconography: they are both crown and halo, they confer an air of both secular kingship and religious sanctity. The question in the film’s imagined epilogue thus becomes one familiar to Shakespeare’s Henry V: heavy is the head that wears the crown. Does Gawain want to earn his uncle’s crown, take over his place as king, bear the fate of Camelot, become a great ruler, a husband and father in ways that even Arthur never did, only to see it all brought to dust by his cowardice, his reliance on unscrupulous sorcery, and his unfulfilled promise to the Green Knight? Is it better to have that entire life and then lose it, or to make the right choice now, even if it means death?

Likewise, Arthur’s kingly mantle is Byzantine in inspiration, as is the icon of the Virgin Mary-as-Theotokos painted on Gawain’s shield (which we see broken apart during the attack by the scavengers). The film only glances at its religious themes rather than harping on them explicitly; we do have the cliché scene of the male churchmen praying for Gawain’s safety, opposite Gawain’s mother and her female attendants working witchcraft to protect him. (When oh when will I get my film that treats medieval magic and medieval religion as the complementary and co-existing epistemological systems that they were, rather than portraying them as diametrically binary and disparagingly gendered opposites?) But despite the interim setbacks borne from the failure of Christian icons, the overall resolution of the film could serve as the culmination of a medieval Christian morality tale: Gawain can buy himself a great future in the short term if he relies on the protection of the enchanted green belt to avoid the Green Knight’s killing stroke, but then he will have to watch it all crumble until he is sitting alone in his own hall, his children dead and his kingdom destroyed, as a headless corpse who only now has been brave enough to accept his proper fate. By removing the belt from his person in the film’s Inception-like final scene, he relinquishes the taint of black magic and regains his religious honor, even at the likely cost of death. That, the medieval Christian morality tale would agree, is the correct course of action.

Gawain’s encounter with St. Winifred likewise presents a more subtle vision of medieval Christianity. Winifred was an eighth-century Welsh saint known for being beheaded, after which (by the power of another saint) her head was miraculously restored to her body and she went on to live a long and holy life. It doesn’t quite work that way in TGK. (St Winifred’s Well is mentioned in the original SGGK, but as far as I recall, Gawain doesn’t meet the saint in person.) In the film, Gawain encounters Winifred’s lifelike apparition, who begs him to dive into the mere and retrieve her head (despite appearances, she warns him, it is not attached to her body). This fits into the pattern of medieval ghost stories, where the dead often return to entreat the living to help them finish their business; they must be heeded, but when they are encountered in places they shouldn’t be, they must be put back into their proper physical space and reminded of their real fate. Gawain doesn’t follow William of Newburgh’s practical recommendation to just fetch some brawny young men with shovels to beat the wandering corpse back into its grave. Instead, in one of his few moments of unqualified heroism, he dives into the dark water and retrieves Winifred’s skull from the bottom of the lake. Then when he returns to the house, he finds the rest of her skeleton lying in the bed where he was earlier sleeping, and carefully reunites the skull with its body, finally allowing it to rest in peace.

However, Gawain’s involvement with Winifred doesn’t end there. The fox that he sees on the bank after emerging with her skull, who then accompanies him for the rest of the film, is strongly implied to be her spirit, or at least a companion that she has sent for him. Gawain has handled a saint’s holy bones; her relics, which were well known to grant protection in the medieval world. He has done the saint a service, and in return, she extends her favor to him. At the end of the film, the fox finally speaks in a human voice, warning him not to proceed to the fateful final encounter with the Green Knight; it will mean his death. The symbolism of having a beheaded saint serve as Gawain’s guide and protector is obvious, since it is the fate that may or may not lie in store for him. As I said, the ending is Inception-like in that it steadfastly refuses to tell you if the hero is alive (or will live) or dead (or will die). In the original SGGK, of course, the Green Knight and the Lord turn out to be the same person, Gawain survives, it was all just a test of chivalric will and honor, and a trap put together by Morgan Le Fay in an attempt to frighten Guinevere. It’s essentially able to be laughed off: a game, an adventure, not real. TGK takes this paradigm and flips it (to speak…) on its head.

Gawain’s rescue of Winifred’s head also rewards him in more immediate terms: his/the Green Knight’s axe, stolen by the scavengers, is miraculously restored to him in her cottage, immediately and concretely demonstrating the virtue of his actions. This is one of the points where the film most stubbornly resists modern storytelling conventions: it simply refuses to add in any kind of “rational” or “empirical” explanation of how else it got there, aside from the grace and intercession of the saint. This is indeed how it works in medieval hagiography: things simply reappear, are returned, reattached, repaired, made whole again, and Gawain’s lost weapon is thus restored, symbolizing that he has passed the test and is worthy to continue with the quest. The film’s narrative is not modernizing its underlying medieval logic here, and it doesn’t particularly care if a modern audience finds it “convincing” or not. As noted, the film never makes any attempt to temporalize or localize itself; it exists in a determinedly surrealist and ahistorical landscape, where naked female giants who look suspiciously like Tilda Swinton roam across the wild with no necessary explanation. While this might be frustrating for some people, I actually found it a huge relief that a clearly fantastic and fictional literary adaptation was not acting like it was qualified to teach “real history” to its audience. Nobody would come out of TGK thinking that they had seen the “actual” medieval world, and since we have enough of a problem with that sort of thing thanks to GOT, I for one welcome the creation of a medieval imaginative space that embraces its eccentric and unrealistic elements, rather than trying to fit them into the Real Life box.

This plays into the fact that the film, like a reused medieval manuscript containing more than one text, is a palimpsest: for one, it audaciously rewrites the entire Arthurian canon in the wordless vision of Gawain’s life after escaping the Green Knight (I could write another meta on that dream-epilogue alone). It moves fluidly through time and creates alternate universes in at least two major points: one, the scene where Gawain is tied up and abandoned by the scavengers and that long circling shot reveals his skeletal corpse rotting on the sward, only to return to our original universe as Gawain decides that he doesn’t want that fate, and two, Gawain as King. In this alternate ending, Arthur doesn’t die in battle with Mordred, but peaceably in bed, having anointed his worthy nephew as his heir. Gawain becomes king, has children, gets married, governs Camelot, becomes a ruler surpassing even Arthur, but then watches his son get killed in battle, his subjects turn on him, and his family vanish into the dust of his broken hall before he himself, in despair, pulls the enchanted scarf out of his clothing and succumbs to his fate.

In this version, Gawain takes on the responsibility for the fall of Camelot, not Arthur. This is the hero’s burden, but he’s obtained it dishonorably, by cheating. It is a vivid but mimetic future which Gawain (to all appearances) ultimately rejects, returning the film to the realm of traditional Arthurian canon – but not quite. After all, if Gawain does get beheaded after that final fade to black, it would represent a significant alteration from the poem and the character’s usual arc. Are we back in traditional canon or aren’t we? Did Gawain reject that future or didn’t he? Do all these alterities still exist within the visual medium of the meta-text, and have any of them been definitely foreclosed?

Furthermore, the film interrogates itself and its own tropes in explicit and overt ways. In Gawain’s conversation with the Lord, the Lord poses the question that many members of the audience might have: is Gawain going to carry out this potentially pointless and suicidal quest and then be an honorable hero, just like that? What is he actually getting by staggering through assorted Irish bogs and seeming to reject, rather than embrace, the paradigms of a proper quest and that of an honorable knight? He lies about being a knight to the scavengers, clearly out of fear, and ends up cravenly bound and robbed rather than fighting back. He denies knowing anything about love to the Lady (played by Alicia Vikander, who also plays his lover at the start of the film with a decidedly ropey Yorkshire accent, sorry to say). He seems to shrink from the responsibility thrust on him, rather than rise to meet it (his only honorable act, retrieving Winifred’s head, is discussed above) and yet here he still is, plugging away. Why is he doing this? What does he really stand to gain, other than accepting a choice and its consequences (somewhat?) The film raises these questions, but it has no plans to answer them. It’s going to leave you to think about them for yourself, and it isn’t going to spoon-feed you any ultimate moral or neat resolution. In this interchange, it’s easy to see both the echoes of a formal dialogue between two speakers (a favored medieval didactic tactic) and the broader purpose of chivalric literature: to interrogate what it actually means to be a knight, how personal honor is generated, acquired, and increased, and whether engaging in these pointless and bloody “war games” is actually any kind of real path to lasting glory.

The film’s treatment of race, gender, and queerness obviously also merits comment. By casting Dev Patel, an Indian-born actor, as an Arthurian hero, the film is… actually being quite accurate to the original legends, doubtless much to the disappointment of assorted internet racists. The thirteenth-century Arthurian romance Parzival (Percival) by the German poet Wolfram von Eschenbach notably features the character of Percival’s mixed-race half-brother, Feirefiz, son of their father by his first marriage to a Muslim princess. Feirefiz is just as heroic as Percival (Gawaine, for the record, also plays a major role in the story) and assists in the quest for the Holy Grail, though it takes his conversion to Christianity for him to properly behold it.

By introducing Patel (and Sarita Chowdhury as Morgause) to the visual representation of Arthuriana, the film quietly does away with the “white Middle Ages” cliché that I have complained about ad nauseam; we see background Asian and black members of Camelot, who just exist there without having to conjure up some complicated rationale to explain their presence. The Lady also uses a camera obscura to make Gawain’s portrait. Contrary to those who might howl about anachronism, this technique was known in China as early as the fourth century BCE and the tenth/eleventh century Islamic scholar Ibn al-Haytham was probably the best-known medieval authority to write on it extensively; Latin translations of his work inspired European scientists from Roger Bacon to Leonardo da Vinci. Aside from the symbolism of an upside-down Gawain (and when he sees the portrait again during the ‘fall of Camelot’, it is right-side-up, representing that Gawain himself is in an upside-down world), this presents a subtle challenge to the prevailing Eurocentric imagination of the medieval world, and draws on other global influences.

As for gender, we have briefly touched on it above; in the original SGGK, Gawain’s entire journey is revealed to be just a cruel trick of Morgan Le Fay, simply trying to destabilize Arthur’s court and upset his queen. (Morgan is the old blindfolded woman who appears in the Lord and Lady’s castle and briefly approaches Gawain, but her identity is never explicitly spelled out.) This is, obviously, an implicitly misogynistic setup: an evil woman plays a trick on honorable men for the purpose of upsetting another woman, the honorable men overcome it, the hero survives, and everyone presumably lives happily ever after (at least until Mordred arrives).

Instead, by plunging the outcome into doubt and the hero into a much darker and more fallible moral universe, TGK shifts the blame for Gawain’s adventure and ultimate fate from Morgan to Gawain himself. Likewise, Guinevere is not the passive recipient of an evil deception but in a way, the catalyst for the whole thing. She breaks the seal on the Green Knight’s message with a weighty snap; she becomes the oracle who reads it out, she is alarming rather than alarmed, she disrupts the complacency of the court and silently shows up all the other knights who refuse to step forward and answer the Green Knight’s challenge. Gawain is not given the ontological reassurance that it’s just a practical joke and he’s going to be fine (and thanks to the unresolved ending, neither are we). The film instead takes the concept at face value in order to push the envelope and ask the simple question: if a man was going to be actually-for-real beheaded in a year, why would he set out on a suicidal quest? Would you, in Gawain’s place, make the same decision to cast aside the enchanted belt and accept your fate? Has he made his name, will he be remembered well? What is his legacy?

Indeed, if there is any hint of feminine connivance and manipulation, it arrives in the form of the implication that Gawain’s mother has deliberately summoned the Green Knight to test her son, prove his worth, and position him as his childless uncle’s heir; she gives him the protective belt to make sure he won’t actually die, and her intention all along was for the future shown in the epilogue to truly play out (minus the collapse of Camelot). Only Gawain loses the belt thanks to his cowardice in the encounter with the scavengers, regains it in a somewhat underhanded and morally questionable way when the Lady is attempting to seduce him, and by ultimately rejecting it altogether and submitting to his uncertain fate, totally mucks up his mother’s painstaking dynastic plans for his future. In this reading, Gawain could be king, and his mother’s efforts are meant to achieve that goal, rather than thwart it. He is thus required to shoulder his own responsibility for this outcome, rather than conveniently pawning it off on an “evil woman,” and by extension, the film asks the question: What would the world be like if men, especially those who make war on others as a way of life, were actually forced to face the consequences of their reckless and violent actions? Is it actually a “game” in any sense of the word, especially when chivalric literature is constantly preoccupied with the question of how much glorious violence is too much glorious violence? If you structure social prestige for the king and the noble male elite entirely around winning battles and existing in a state of perpetual war, when does that begin to backfire and devour the knightly class – and the rest of society – instead?

This leads into the central theme of Gawain’s relationships with the Lord and Lady, and how they’re treated in the film. The poem has been repeatedly studied in terms of its latent (and sometimes… less than latent) queer subtext: when the Lord asks Gawain to pay back to him whatever he should receive from his wife, does he already know what this involves; i.e. a physical and romantic encounter? When the Lady gives kisses to Gawain, which he is then obliged to return to the Lord as a condition of the agreement, is this all part of a dastardly plot to seduce him into a kinky green-themed threesome with a probably-not-human married couple looking to spice up their sex life? Why do we read the Lady’s kisses to Gawain as romantic but Gawain’s kisses to the Lord as filial, fraternal, or the standard “kiss of peace” exchanged between a liege lord and his vassal? Is Gawain simply being a dutiful guest by honoring the bargain with his host, actually just kissing the Lady again via the proxy of her husband, or somewhat more into this whole thing with the Lord than he (or the poet) would like to admit? Is the homosocial turning homoerotic, and how is Gawain going to navigate this tension and temptation?

If the question is never resolved: well, welcome to one of the central medieval anxieties about chivalry, knighthood, and male bonds! As I have written about before, medieval society needed to simultaneously exalt this as the most honored and noble form of love, and make sure it didn’t accidentally turn sexual (once again: how much male love is too much male love?). Does the poem raise the possibility of serious disruption to the dominant heteronormative paradigm, only to solve the problem by interpreting the Gawain/Lady male/female kisses as romantic and sexual and the Gawain/Lord male/male kisses as chaste and formal? In other words, acknowledging the underlying anxiety of possible homoeroticism but ultimately reasserting the heterosexual norm? The answer: Probably?!?! Maybe?!?! Hell if we know??! To say the least, this has been argued over to no end, and if you locked a lot of medieval history/literature scholars into a room and told them that they couldn’t come out until they decided on one clear answer, they would be in there for a very long time. The poem seemingly invokes the possibility of a queer reading only to reject it – but once again, as in the question of which canon we end up in at the film’s end, does it?

In some lights, the film’s treatment of this potential queer reading comes off like a cop-out: there is only one kiss between Gawain and the Lord, and it is something that the Lord has to initiate after Gawain has already fled the hall. Gawain himself appears to reject it; he tells the Lord to let go of him and runs off into the wilderness, rather than deal with or accept whatever has been suggested to him. However, this fits with film!Gawain’s pattern of rejecting that which fundamentally makes him who he is; like Peter in the Bible, he has now denied the truth three times. With the scavengers he denies being a knight; with the Lady he denies knowing about courtly love; with the Lord he denies the central bond of brotherhood with his fellows, whether homosocial or homoerotic in nature. I would go so far as to argue that if Gawain does die at the end of the film, it is this rejected kiss which truly seals his fate. In the poem, the Lord and the Green Knight are revealed to be the same person; in the film, it’s not clear if that’s the case, or they are separate characters, even if thematically interrelated. If we assume, however, that the Lord is in fact still the human form of the Green Knight, then Gawain has rejected both his kiss of peace (the standard gesture of protection offered from lord to vassal) and any deeper emotional bond that it can be read to signify. The Green Knight could decide to spare Gawain in recognition of the courage he has shown in relinquishing the enchanted belt – or he could just as easily decide to kill him, which he is legally free to do since Gawain has symbolically rejected the offer of brotherhood, vassalage, or knight-bonding by his unwise denial of the Lord’s freely given kiss. Once again, the film raises the overall thematic and moral question and then doesn’t give one straight (ahem) answer. As with the medieval anxieties and chivalric texts that it is based on, it invokes the specter of queerness and then doesn’t neatly resolve it. As a modern audience, we find this unsatisfying, but once again, the film is refusing to conform to our expectations.

As has been said before, there is so much kissing between men in medieval contexts, both ceremonial and otherwise, that we’re left to wonder: “is it gay or is it feudalism?” Is there an overtly erotic element in Gawain and the Green Knight’s mutual “beheading” of each other (especially since in the original version, this frees the Lord from his curse, functioning like a true love’s kiss in a fairytale). While it is certainly possible to argue that the film has “straightwashed” its subject material by removing the entire sequence of kisses between Gawain and the Lord and the unresolved motives for their existence, it is a fairly accurate, if condensed, representation of the anxieties around medieval knightly bonds and whether, as Carolyn Dinshaw put it, a (male/male) “kiss is just a kiss.” After all, the kiss between Gawain and the Lady is uncomplicatedly read as sexual/romantic, and that context doesn’t go away when Gawain is kissing the Lord instead. Just as with its multiple futurities, the film leaves the question open-ended. Is it that third and final denial that seals Gawain’s fate, and if so, is it asking us to reflect on why, specifically, he does so?

The film could play with both this question and its overall tone quite a bit more: it sometimes comes off as a grim, wooden, over-directed Shakespearean tragedy, rather than incorporating the lively and irreverent tone that the poem often takes. It’s almost totally devoid of humor, which is unfortunate, and the Grim Middle Ages aesthetic is in definite evidence. Nonetheless, because of the comprehensive de-historicizing and the obvious lack of effort to claim the film as any sort of authentic representation of the medieval past, it works. We are not meant to understand this as a historical document, and so we have to treat it on its terms, by its own logic, and by its own frames of reference. In some ways, its consistent opacity and its refusal to abide by modern rules and common narrative conventions is deliberately meant to challenge us: as before, when we recognize Arthur, Merlin, the Round Table, and the other stock characters because we know them already and not because the film tells us so, we have to fill in the gaps ourselves. We are watching the film not because it tells us a simple adventure story – there is, as noted, shockingly little action overall – but because we have to piece together the metatext independently and ponder the philosophical questions that it leaves us with. What conclusion do we reach? What canon do we settle in? What future or resolution is ultimately made real? That, the film says, it can’t decide for us. As ever, it is up to future generations to carry on the story, and decide how, if at all, it is going to survive.

(And to close, I desperately want them to make my much-coveted Bisclavret adaptation now in more or less the same style, albeit with some tweaks. Please.)

Further Reading

Ailes, Marianne J. ‘The Medieval Male Couple and the Language of Homosociality’, in Masculinity in Medieval Europe, ed. by Dawn M. Hadley (Harlow: Longman, 1999), pp. 214–37.

Ashton, Gail. ‘The Perverse Dynamics of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’, Arthuriana 15 (2005), 51–74.

Boyd, David L. ‘Sodomy, Misogyny, and Displacement: Occluding Queer Desire in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’, Arthuriana 8 (1998), 77–113.

Busse, Peter. ‘The Poet as Spouse of his Patron: Homoerotic Love in Medieval Welsh and Irish Poetry?’, Studi Celtici 2 (2003), 175–92.

Dinshaw, Carolyn. ‘A Kiss Is Just a Kiss: Heterosexuality and Its Consolations in Sir Gawain and the Green Knight’, Diacritics 24 (1994), 205–226.

Kocher, Suzanne. ‘Gay Knights in Medieval French Fiction: Constructs of Queerness and Non-Transgression’, Mediaevalia 29 (2008), 51–66.

Karras, Ruth Mazo. ‘Knighthood, Compulsory Heterosexuality, and Sodomy’ in The Boswell Thesis: Essays on Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality, ed. Matthew Kuefler (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2006), pp. 273–86.

Kuefler, Matthew. ‘Male Friendship and the Suspicion of Sodomy in Twelfth-Century France’, in The Boswell Thesis: Essays on Christianity, Social Tolerance, and Homosexuality, ed. Matthew Kuefler (Chicago: University of Chicago Press, 2006), pp. 179–214.

McVitty, E. Amanda, ‘False Knights and True Men: Contesting Chivalric Masculinity in English Treason Trials, 1388–1415,’ Journal of Medieval History 40 (2014), 458–77.

Mieszkowski, Gretchen. ‘The Prose Lancelot's Galehot, Malory's Lavain, and the Queering of Late Medieval Literature’, Arthuriana 5 (1995), 21–51.

Moss, Rachel E. ‘ “And much more I am soryat for my good knyghts’ ”: Fainting, Homosociality, and Elite Male Culture in Middle English Romance’, Historical Reflections / Réflexions historiques 42 (2016), 101–13.

Zeikowitz, Richard E. ‘Befriending the Medieval Queer: A Pedagogy for Literature Classes’, College English 65 (2002), 67–80.

#the green knight #the green knight meta #sir gawain and the green knight #medieval literature #medieval history #this meta is goddamn 5.2k words #and has its own reading list #i uh #said i had a lot of thoughts?

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yutasbellybuttonpiercing · 3 years

Text

Professor (Dilf) Qian - Q.KN

Pairing: Qian Kun x (fem!bodied) reader

Word count: 2000 words

AU/Genre: college!AU, dilf!Kun, dom!Kun, aged up characters (reader is legal tho!), smut

Warnings: age difference, mentioned breeding kink, mentioned exhibitionism kink, semi-public, dirty talk, dubification, degradation, spanking, humiliation (?), overstimulation, fingering, squirting

Summary: You're about to fail Prof. Qian's class. An embarrassing piece of paper might save your ass and make all your wet dreams about dilf!Kun come true.

A/N: this is a lot more build-up and a lot less fucking than I intended... I hope you still enjoy it??

"... and that's why - if you turn to page 27 - Mandisa said 'Yet, even today we still laugh sad laughs, remembering our innocent incredulity. Our inability to imagine certain forms of evil, the scope and depth of some strains of ruthlessness. We laugh, to hide the gaping hole where our hearts used to be. Guguletu killed us... killed the thing that held us together... made us human. Yet we still laugh.' Please keep that in mind for your final essay-"

Mr. Qian's calming voice is interrupted by someone entering the lecture hall. A young woman, possibly a student of a higher semester, enters and bows after realizing she has all the attention on her. Then, she quickly steps over to your professor, whispering something to him. He makes a serious expression, then nods and thanks her.

The moment she steps away from her, his eyes fall onto you.

You don't notice any of this happening. Your eyes have been glued to Mr. Qian's handsome face and big hands for the last hour and 20 minutes, your mind having completely logged off ever since the words 'gaping hole' have fallen from his slender lips. You should probably take notes, anything, but how could you if your literature professor looks like this. All you can think about is him making your hole-

"Alright, that's it for today. Thank you for your attention and please start writing your essays early, not like last time..." he laughs before beginning to pack his things. You have finally fallen out of your trance, the person sitting beside you tapping on your shoulder because their pencil fell under your seat. You apologize and hand the pencil over, then make your way out.

Until you hear your name being called.

You freeze, then slowly turn around to look at whoever is begging for your attention. It's no other than the handsome professor you have been thirsting over since the first lecture.

"Could you please come to me for a second?" He asks, his face serious, but his fingers moving in a 'come here'-motion almost makes you dizzy. You obey, squeezing through the remaining students before stopping at his desk. Someone closes the door. You two are alone in the huge lecture hall.

You two are alone in the lecture hall.

"What seems to be the problem, professor?" You ask, trying to keep your raging libido in the back of your mind for now. This is not the time nor the place for it.

"I'll get straight to the point. You missed the last essay. You cannot graduate from this course without having turned in all three essays. I can give you some extra time, if you need it, but you have to hand something in." Mr. Qian looks at you over his glasses, his dark eyes consuming you instantly. He is leaned against his desk, his butt hugging the edge softly, a piece of paper in his veiny hands...

"I wouldn't mind taking this course again, Mr. Qian" you hear yourself answer "I mean-" Too late. "Because of the topics discussed... Of course..."

Mr. Qian raises an eyebrow at your statement.

"I mean, this essay, I really want to do it, I just haven't had the time and- and- It's not like it's not an interesting topic, it is! And the way you teach it is- I mean you do it really well and I learn so much and I- it's just that it's hard to concentrate when- you- I can't concentrate because of-"

Mr. Qian stops your rambling by grabbing your wrists. In your monologue (where you had particularly tried not to look at him) you hadn't noticed him getting up to stand in front of you. And now that he does, being closer to you than ever before, giving you the opportunity to see him up close, his curved nose, his high cheekbones and the faintest stubble on his chin, you seem to have lost your breath.

"Are you trying to say what I think you're trying to say?" He asks, voice quieter since he's so close. So close you can smell his cologne. It makes you feel weak in the knees. After you didn't answer him, he continues "Let me tell you a little story. A couple of weeks ago, I was packing my things, ready to leave the lecture hall when my eyes fell onto an interesting piece of paper."

Your eyes widen. No, this can't be. One time, your friend had visited you (and you had pulled them into Mr. Qian's lecture to show them who you've been thirsting about). In that particular lesson, Mr. Qian had looked especially breathtaking, his dress pants far too tight around his plush ass, his shirt virtually clinging to his defined chest muscles and he'd gotten a haircut. One word: dreamy. You couldn't just keep the lewd thoughts about him to yourself, ripping a page out of your notebook to scribble down what you had to say. The outcome... high key inappropriate.

"Actually, I have it right here. You want me to read it to you?"

You are too mortified to react the woman was too stunned to speak and you pray that you're not thinking about the same piece of paper.

"Mr. Dilf" he reads, eyes falling onto you and you gulp. Yes, this is definitely your piece of paper "looks like a whole fucking meal today. To which someone responded Indeed. You then continued: I want to devour his ass like it's my last meal. Look at how juicy his cheeks are, I just want to burry my face between them and feast like a queen."

You want to die.

"Or here: I wish he would choke me with his-" he clears his throat "Fat cock. I just know he's big. He could split me in half with it and I'd thank him. I want him to fuck me so hard that my intestines rip and I die from internal bleeding. God, what I'd do to let this man wreck every single hole of mine lol"

You want to say something. Apologize maybe, but you're too embarrassed to even get out a single sound.

"He is such daddy material. If I wasn't on the pill, I'd still let him hit it raw and fuck his cum so deep into me - at this, your counterpart just answered with a drawing of a shocked emoticon - if I could, I'd get up right now and swallow his dick in front of the whole lecture hall. I don't care, everyone can see that I'm a whore just for him. I want him to get me naked and embarrassed in front of the whole class and then make me cum on his fingers."

"This could have been written by anyone..." you mumble, cheeks probably a deep shade of red.

"The backside of the paper is filled with scribbles of Mrs. Y/n Qian."

You take a deep breath "I am so incredibly sorry, I shouldn't have said any of that. It was just jokes - well, most of it- and-"

He stops you "You still want me to make you cum on my fingers?"

The floor suddenly seems very interesting. You can't look him in the eyes right now "yes..."

"Then why don't you sit down on my desk and take off your panties, I'll make you cum as much as you want. Afterwards, you can return the favor and show me how bad you want to graduate from this course."

"For real?!"

He nods and you make your way over to said desk, still suspicious, but to be honest, this situation couldn't possibly become anymore embarrassing then it already is. You watch him as he locks the door of the lecture hall as you remove your panties under your skirt.

As he comes back, he puts his hands on your knees, pushing them open so he can have a good view on your pussy. Sneaking on hand over your chest to briefly grope at your breasts - you can't hold back a gasp at this - he travels further down teasing your inner thighs.

It already feels so good that you can't even imagine what it'll feel like when he'll start to really touch you. As his hand gets particularly close to your pussy, you try to close your legs. Big mistake, you realize as he smacks your thigh so hard you squeal.

"Be a good girl and keep your legs open for me" he states with a stern look. The next thing you know, his finger starts circling your entrance. You gasps at the sensation, legs closing immediately.

Mr. Qian takes a deep breath "I don't know if you're just too fucking dumb to listen to me or if you're just too much of a bratty little whore. Either way, get off the desk" he demands as he sits down on his chair, patting his thighs "Guess I'll have to spank some manners into you."

You shouldn't be as excited as you are as you lay on his lap. Feeling him push up your skirt, you wiggle your ass in anticipation.

At the first stroke of his hand over your ass, you hum, closing your eyes at the feeling of his warm hand on your skin. Suddenly, the familiar stinging pain rushes through you and you can't help but moan. Another slap follows suit.

"You're not supposed to like this" Mr. Qian mumbles as he smacks your cheeks three more times. You feel yourself clench around nothing "Dirty slut, you seem to be really enjoying this, look at how fucking wet you are, you're literally dripping on my pants." He notices, amused, almost as if mocking you. This just makes you even wetter.

Another hard smack lands on your ass, and slowly, it's getting too much. Instead of spanking you again, he runs his finger through your slit, collecting your wetness before laughing at you again "You're really fucking dripping."

Embarrassment slowly catches up to you and you whine. You love it.

"Get back on the desk"

"Please, sir, I can't-" you plead, having cummed three times already, but he doesn't seem to be done with you.

"Yes, you can, you literally begged for this, remember? Your little letter? You're such a pathetic little whore." You whine loudly, not only at his humiliating words, but also at his fingers that already slipped inside of you again "I know you can cum one last time, come on."

He stands up from his squatting position in front of you to stand beside you, allowing his arm to move with more force as he plunges his fingers into you once more. It's too much, you feel like you're going to pass out, at the same time you never want him to stop.

Next orgasm already approaching at his rapid movements, he places a hand on your lower stomach, pushing down as his fingers curl upwards, completely stimulating every inch and both sides of your sweet spot. You cry out, not having it in you to care that you were currently in a lecture hall.

Your orgasm builds up, but with the familiar knot in your stomach, there's something else you can feel, but you can't make out what it is, head too hazy to understand what's happening. The next second, you cum, harder than ever before and you feel yourself releasing an extraordinary amount of wetness.

"Look at this, you're a fucking slut, but so good for me, look how you squirted everywhere" Mr. Qian smiles down at your fucked out state.

"Huh?" Your hazy eyes look down on the floor in front of you that is, in fact, completely wet, just as your thighs and Mr. Qian's arm. Fucking hell, you didn't know you could do this. The only reaction you can bring yourself to is to smile weakly at the sight in front of you.

"Are you alright?"

"Yeah..." you breathe out, completely fucked out and lulling "Let me return the favor now..."

#NCT #nct fanfic #nct smut #nct wayv #wayv #wayv smut #wayv kun #wayv qian kun #qian kun #kun smut #nct x reader #wayv x reader #smut #kpop #fem reader

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beyondthisdarkhouse · 2 years

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do you have an example of a post where an academic theory is rephrased as a hot take? most of the dracula content ive seen is just memes, so that sounds fun to read. (also, thanks for teaching me the word "acafan", ive been one for a few years now but didnt realize there was a term for it)

@ckret2 talks here about takes being bantered around on Tumblr that show deep academic knowledge of Dracula!

I'm not actually in Dracula fandom. I've got the world's biggest case of sour grapes about Dracula. My Canadian university had a campus in Italy where you could take a course on like, Dracula and the Origins of the Vampire Mythos, that included its own two-week trip through the Balkans and Central Europe, and I wanted to go SO badly, but there was no way I could afford it, so I decided that I Didn't Care, Dracula was Probably a Stupid Book Anyway. (I know it's not, but it was that or have more money angst, you know?)

ANYWAY. ACAFANDOM.

The rest of this is not Dracula related at all, but this is my blog and I'll rant if I want to. What I'm really fascinated by is the academic study of fandom, treating fannish culture and the works we create as legitimate objects of the academic gaze.

Did you know: The Organization for Transformative works, which runs the AO3, also has its own open-access peer-reviewed scholarly journal?

Transformative Works and Cultures

Their current Call for Papers is for a special issue on Centering Blackness in Fan Studies; the most recent issue is about Fandom Histories, which is to say, how fandoms tend to preserve, remember, and represent our past.

(dreamily) One day I'll get my shit together and write an essay for the Symposium section of TWC, which is the space they've set aside for voices from fandom who aren't part of the Academic Establishment.

Two of its founding editors, Kristina Busse and Karen Hellekson, also edited the 2006 book Fan Fiction and Fan Communities in the Age of the Internet: New Essays. Which has an essay that blew my mind and changed the way I think about relationships forever.

Specifically, it was Elizabeth Woledge's "Intimatopia: genre intersections between slash and the mainstream", where she took a conversation that was happening in academic discussions of romance novels and brought slash into it.

Basically, romance scholars were talking about what the difference is between a romance novel, pornography, erotica, or any book that features a love story, because readers sure as hell know that those are all different things. And one of the theories was that the romance genre has this ethos it called the romantopia, an overriding sensibility that what this story is about is the main characters coming together to form a strong marriage. (This is compared to the erotopia of pornography, where the story is "about" the main characters coming together to reach sexual climax.)

And what Woledge said she found quite frequently in m/m slash written by women was a focus on intimacy, on the experience of being deeply seen and known and loved by someone, deeply seeing and knowing and loving them in return, and building a relationship based on that mutual intimacy. Her "Intimatopia" theory says that what these fics were trying to get at was not just a relationship where the participants had agreed to fulfill certain societal expectations together, like "husband", but to deeply interrogate the needs and desires of everyone involved, and define the relationship based on those.

(This theory explains some parts of why slash fandom is perpetually enamored of tropes like fake dating and forced intimacy. You can have characters who achieve both marriage and orgasm, but don't really know each other('s feelings), so the story isn't over yet.)

Which... as a bi girl in the mid-2000s who longed for sex and romance, but was completely starved for positive queer stories, and also didn't find most mass media depictions of heterosexuality appealing: Yes, that is exactly what slash provided me with. Beyond the queer representation, I found that the occasional het written by slash writers was also way more focused on the female partners as individual people, and didn't push them as much into traditional roles, compared to the times I wandered into primarily het-oriented fandoms and was startled by just how heteronormative everything was.

A lot of the writers I adored were queer women who didn't face as much pushback writing flawed and messy men as they did if they dared write problematic femslash, but they were still writing really authentically about the queer lives, experiences, and sensibilities they lived with. Male characters were just as affected by homophobic laws, attitudes, social forces, and military policies as they were, after all. Their male characters reacted, in real-time, to the events that changed their writers' lives.

(About the femslash, I... look, I tried to like femslash in the 2000s. I tried so hard. But albeit some exceptions like The Devil Wears Prada fandom, it seems that there was huge internal community pressure to represent lesbian relationships as idyllic and friction-free. Everything had to be neat and clean and good and giving. Everyone was automatically good at empathizing and accommodating and compromising and nobody felt like people. Especially not the people from the source material I'd fallen in love with. When I found later that one of the big femslash sites was called "Passion and Perfection" it felt like, of fucking COURSE it was.)

So I mostly got my first experiences of sapphic relationships not from the fanfiction itself, but from the personal lives of the writers. They'd blog about their relationships, about who did the dishes and how to persuade your doctor that no really, you're sexually active but not at risk of being pregnant. They talked freely about how changing legalization about same-sex marriage would affect their lives. And they'd often interact with each other in public; a lot of relationships were between fans who both participated in the community, and would collaborate artistically, or organize each other surprise birthday gifts, or write stories to cheer each other up or comfort the other person during times of separation. They represented the diverse queer quotidian possibilities of relationships where you threw out the gender roles and got to be weird together.

And I think... without acafandom, none of that would have felt important or real. For a long time, I would have said that I didn't have any real connections to the LGBTQ+ community. Early on I got a lot of messages that bisexuals weren't welcome in most of the in-person spaces I found, and nothing that I tried later fit either. I didn't like clubbing, loud music, drinking, or loud parties, so none of the LGBT events in my area felt like they were "for" me. And to be honest, unless they were in slash fandom, the reactions of gay men to fanfiction had pretty much all been somewhere on a scale from "derisive" to "scathing": "This isn't about real men. This is garbage and it doesn't represent us."

Which like, fair, I don't feel "represented" by 1950s pulp novels or 90% of recorded lesbian porn, or frankly, most femslash of the 2000s. I wouldn't recommend that era of slash to your average gay man as comfort reading.

But there was something there, in those stories, in that culture, that nourished my soul in deeper ways than I could even say. There was something in this thing we were doing that was important. And Elizabeth Woledge helped me start to explain why.

And in my life as a student and employee, it didn't matter as much how I got my knowledge, but if I used it and showed up on LGBTQ+ issues. It mattered if the old forms I typed up at work got edited to use gender-neutral language. If I corrected academic or direct-service discussions on relationships and intimate partner violence to include more accurate information about LGBTQ+ people. If I pushed for privacy and data management policies that would allow LGBTQ+ people to be open about their identities in some situations without exposing that information to others. If I could make sure that other LGBTQ+ people in the vicinity could see they were welcome and safe. If I could explain proposed legislation changes to people with the power to vote or agitate in some way about them, to make them more sympathetic.

(And yes it's fucked up that I feel like, as a bi woman, I have to pierce my breast and bleed out for the community before I will really "deserve" to belong there. But I do.)

So... yeah. Acafandom's really close to my heart, the way fanfiction is, because without it, there's a lot of my experience that would just feel too weak and frail to form into any sort of social narrative. By using the incredibly powerful tools of scholarly analysis, and taking fan experiences seriously as objects worthy of study, we can figure out what about these things we're all doing actually works. We have more tools to face the future with.

#long post #rambling #acafandom

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