#theres probably other tags i could use but i dont really care

[sassykinzonline]

i will float a theory about itachi's necklace

the only other time we see the pattern on itachi's necklace is on kakashi's scarf, and because it was green it reminded me of this scene of madara. so the only other time we see the same pattern itachi wears is an incredibly loyal leaf ninja who ended up mentoring itachi.

keeping in mind that these textile patterns ("wagara") tend to carry a meaning derived from the material reality, are context dependent, and can be used outside of textiles/clothing, i thought of the other example we know of region-dependent patterning: the land of mist

theirs is more obviously just a creative interpretation of "camo", where the splotches represent patches of mist themselves. the fact that not every ninja wears the pattern in battle means it isn't a required uniform (compared to say, the colour variations in flak jackets across regions). so i would say we can assume it's a regional fashion pattern.

another example of wagara is the iconic akatsuki cloak, which is actually rooted in a traditional japanese kumo pattern: symbolizing "hope", "change" and a "proximity to gods" (i think the layers of symbolism are obvious here).

there's another traditional "leaf" ("ha" in japanese) pattern called "asanoha". it's described with this meaning: "Hemp has strong vitality and grows vigorously without the need for a lot of care, so this pattern was often used on babies' and children's kimonos with the hope that they would grow up big and strong." these are values that are communicated through hashirama (vitality), both hashirama/madara's hopes for the leaf village (growth through enduring, especially for children), and itachi's own perception of the symbolic importance of the leaf village (children being able to grow big and strong). it's interesting that the 2 instances we have of people wearing itachi's necklace pattern are children who are forced to endure and suffer through the idea of protecting the village.

since we only see itachi wear it after he leaves konoha, i think his necklace is a symbol of his desire/intention to still be connected to the leaf--assuming that the pattern is a pattern representing konoha.

[rxttenfish]

Asking because I’m extremely curious about this, how did MonProm’s writing get different over time? I remember you saying that the lore and characters feel different, and that it's missing sincere character interactions, too. I know almost nothing about the lore and I’ve only seen a few people mention the characters, so I’d be interested in a rundown of what aspects you think got worse in the series

I wouldn’t mind a very long response since I’m not that active in the fandom, I need to catch up on what happened

sorry for taking so long to answer this! i kinda waffled on it for a long bit, mainly because i started doubting myself again, and whether or not this was me simply overreacting or being tinted by nostalgia or simply being extremely picky and choosy in what i like (the last of which is true, i seldom get into fandoms at all for this reason and stay away from most popular media, but i wasn't sure if it applied here). i've posted about it already, but i'm in the middle of a psychotic episode where i can't feel a lot of pleasure to begin with + most things i do experience ending up solidly in the "very bad" category, so as you can imagine, i really didn't want to mislead and check that i was actually in objective reality.

as it is, this is also when a lot more screenshots started to be posted in the monster prom tag, and that helped me bridge the gap back into returning to the games themselves and feel like i was making a more accurate judgement. if you're one of those people who have been posting screenshots, i sincerely thank you, and i appreciated seeing you in the tag greatly.

for those not in the know — i've been in the monster prom fandom since it first released, prior to even the first additional ending to be added (the "Punch the sun" ending, and i recall the minor fandom drama that happened at that time due to it). my impression of monster prom is very much influenced by this, as what got me into the first game was the fact that the characters genuinely seemed to care for each other and were friends with each other (not merely tolerating each other's presences nor dressing it up, they sincerely thought of each other as friends and were open about that fact), on top of the wide variety of small details and statements that, if taken at face value, could create compounding complexity in the lives of each and every character and had wider implications for their lives.

no, they were not necessarily explored nor even necessarily "real", with so many conflicting events and statements, but i liked this too, because it meant a wider flexibility in what you could imagine, helping to create a more tailored experience for everyone who thought about these characters. this was what i liked about the early fandom too. what was baseline "canon" was so vague and minimal that you could have wildly different interpretations of the same characters' histories and relationships with each other. you would have radically different perspectives on what the world itself looked like, what it was like, that there wasn't really any wrong answers so long as their personalities remained the same. this is where you got the old headcanon of polly and liam being childhood friends who knew each other as humans, or that the world of monster prom was post-apocalypse where humanity itself had gone extinct or only existed in tiny pockets, or my personal headcanon that both monster and human society existed right next to each other and had minimal crossover for petty cultural reasons. this was also prior zoe-as-ro, and there were wildly different interpretations of zoe's personality, with most going for a far more disquieting creepy-cute than the deep nerd we got.

this is why you get stuff like the timeloop theory, where everyone is repeating the same weeks leading up to prom over and over, and are perhaps vaguely aware of it but broadly unconcerned. this is also why it felt like the joke that, the characters were still in high school but were all fully legal adults with most in their 20's, best landed, because it was absurd and strange and didn't quite make sense, but the world itself was inherently absurd and semi-malleable to begin with. realistically, i felt like everyone understood it was making fun of the trope of having adults play teenagers in american sitcoms and wildly casting outside the age range, but for more in-universe explanations it wasn't any different from the way that you would have a large, dramatic ending in which everything changed, but then you'd restart and everyone would be right back at the beginning with nothing different, or even having conflicting events in the same run. it was a dream-logic that fit with the tropes and, thus, diagetically made sense.

to be clear, i don't mind canon having a set, well, canon on which it refers back to itself. i don't mind expanding that or including more things which are set in stone. but there was a perceivable shift in how the games handled this over time, becoming a lot more... bitter, it felt, towards all of these different branching ideas and concepts that, yeah, the people making them knew wouldn't necessarily be "canon" because "canon" already liked to contradict itself so much. most people weren't even sold on any one idea, and there was a much greater sense of enjoying and appreciating all the varying ideas people would come up with even if you personally didn't share them. making the characters be out of character was the real crime, because then it didn't diagetically make sense in the same way, didn't wholly fit.

(again, this is not to say fanon didn't happen and characters weren't smoothed down into a simplified personality that fit these varying fan-interpretations instead of the game itself. certainly damien love/lust was just as bad as it had ever been, and everyone loved to mangle his character into a more stereotypical "bad boy with a heart of hold" all the time. but it certainly felt less set-in-stone about it than it does now, with any deviation from the norm being considered strange and odd and even broadly shunned from the wider fandom.)

all of this is setup for establishing what the writing, lore, and characters felt like in the earlier days. the characters were the strongest part, with their relationships to each other being equally as important. the lore played it fast and loose and was far less interested in setting anything in concrete because that wasn't the important part. the lore wasn't the important part, which was what made it all the more intoxicating to think about, all the more fun to play with.

montrip is easily the biggest offender when it comes to setting everything in all-or-nothing terms and demanding absolutism from the world. broadly i blame the hitchhiker conversations for the worst of it, but i think ultimately the way they handled the entire premise of the game is where this problem stems from. it's not really an exploration in the same sense that you might explore the first game, discovering different perspectives and different people with different relationships to each other. it's an exploration in the sense of a sequel that over-explains the monster, that takes the most boring option out of all those that were possible and floating around and settles on something that was blatant, obvious, typically rejected not because of how novel it is but how trite and par for the course it is in the rest of the genre.

yeah, okay. humans know nothing about monsters and there's a "monster dimension" that exists separately from the human dimension. there's no crossover between the two of them. of course there's a big grand-scale fight between the eldritch powers that zoe used to be a part of, from which not only are slayers the main organization against them, but also the merkingdom has some horse in this race too. it's an urge to make things so universal in explaining them, in revealing connecting threads which unite everything that's ever happened in here, that makes the worldbuilding and lore immediately much more boring than it ever was before.

and it didn't have to be this way! nothing in the first game contradicts any of this too explicitly (see the above, the first game loves to contradict itself), and i would even be happy if this was basically canon but never stated or confirmed to be the big overarching everything going on underneath it all. i believe you should probably know these things about any world that you create and have them in the back of your mind. the difference is that you can know these things and keep them in mind, even focusing on things where its very relevant, and still not reveal them. this is why you have lore bibles, after all. every horror writer knows exactly how their monster works and the full underlying reason for everything that happens, but that doesn't mean the audience will see it or possess this same information too, and leaving it intentionally obscure will make far better stories.

which, this is bad enough, but it wouldn't be the breaking point for me if this was all there was.

but the worst thing of all has to be the slow decay of the very same characters that sold me on this world, this lore, this game in the first place. monster prom is nothing without the characters in it. it's a dating sim, it has nothing but characters to get you to play, and liking these characters are the entire reason anyone would pick up monster prom in the first place.

and the first game pulls this off extremely well. it's all in the tagline: be your worst self. they are, indeed, all terrible people. yes, even that character that you just thought of right now. they all have points in the game where they commit atrocities, where they kill or hurt people, where they do inexcusable things that could not be ignored in a more serious setting.

but that's the point. i think there's something very powerful in creating a character who not only do you love and love their personality and the way they interact with the world, but who also are inapologetically terrible, and to have the humor and the charisma be so good that you don't get bogged down in the "this is awful". likewise, it never feels the urge to really go out of its way to justify what's going on. this is not to say theres no discussion of if someone "deserved it", but usually there's still the sense that the joke is on them, that this is still an extreme reaction specifically for comedy and not necessarily something that can be justified. you can have damien set leonard on fire and have it feel earned, without prompting the needed reaction of what it's actually like to watch someone burn to death.

this is what sets the prank masterz ending apart from the rest of the game, and really establishes it as the first real "bad ending". because nothing that you do or happens in the prank masterz ending is any different from anything else that happens in any other run. you summon evil beings from other dimensions as a throwaway gag on how visiting one location raises your stats. you kill other people and damn them to terrible fates. you watch as body horror happens. the only difference is that, in the prank masterz ending, the laugh track doesn't play.

the rest of the game and the writing echoes this philosophy, this careful interplay of tropes that keeps everything tongue in cheek and yet sincere enough to make sure emotional beats still land when they're needed. the characters feel true to themselves and their own emotions, even when the world is extreme and excessive, when everything else runs on comedy logic.

this is also what i noticed failing first as time went on.

like i said, fanon has always existed and there's always been very specific ideas as to what characters are like in the same way fanon always flattens down characters into the same tropes over and over. scott is stupid and innocent and doesn't know what sex is. damien is violent and hot and too cool for anyone else. miranda is the idiot girl character. repeat over and over and over until you get sick of it.

but it's been an issue as time has crept on that canon has started to approach fanon and began to merge with it. now, scott is so innocent that he can't even curse. polly starts being mean to her friends and saying things that would be very hurtful to hear. the merkingdom isn't really super evil and fucked up, it's just miranda that's like that. they become simpler, easier to digest, streamlined for social media posts and mass-sharing. they become less and less subversions of existing tropes and moreso just another example of them, something else to add to the collection, not their own individual stories.

even further from this, what more complex traits they had are now stated and not shown. polly is stated to be smart and clever in a way that her party girl persona doesn't imply and to be sincerely rather down to earth with the people she cares about, but we seldom ever see this anymore unless its the game specifically trying to make a point about it, in which case it won't let her do anything that implies cleverness and moreso will just outline it in the narration. vera is stated to care for people in a very genuine and heartfelt way, but seldom will get a chance to do so, and every opportunity for her to do so to their faces is missed while she will just outright state it later. it does not feel consistent, it does not feel like any of these are intended reads of their actions. it feels like the devs have something they want to do but no idea on how to actually do so. and forget it if you want these traits to manifest in small ways that show up in unrelated moments and scenes.

the dialogue becomes harder and harder to tell between each speaker, if you are just looking at what's said and not at the pictures attached to it. the characters' distinct voices have been eroded away, so that they speak more and more like each other, relaying the same terms and ideas in the same words. perspective becomes a suggestion, instead of a must.

this is something that started back in monster camp too, as all of the endings in that game felt ultimately the same as every other ending. it's very hard to place or define the full reason why, why there feels like there's no emotional stakes nor investment, why everything feels moreso like selecting different coats of paint and trying to find all the different ending pictures rather than being interested in exploring the characters as characters.

stranger yet, the series that started with the tagline of "be your worst self" has experienced a kind of... softening, for lack of a better word? what i mentioned about being able to handle the balance between terrible people who do terrible things and the light tone of the game starts to change, as abruptly the same characters who were down with violent murder in the first game start to lose their nerve, acting more and more on more typical morality. it's one of those things that feels like it's starting to damage the tone, as abruptly it's not as absurd as it used to be, demands less suspension of disbelief which could buffer and support the rest of the setting on it. there's even a part in one of the endings in montrip which involves current-polly and current-scott looking back on their monprom selves and reacting in horror at how violent and careless their pranks are, in a way that fundamentally felt like it was undercutting and disparaging all the things that felt fun and made monprom what it was.

which is odd, really, because more and more i feel like the characters in these games like each other less and less. the friendships and genuine enjoyment of each others company that brought me to this game in the first place has gone. now they don't mention each other as much, don't care for each other's feelings and reactions as much, aren't as willing to support each other. they are more and more found on their own, relied on their own, seem to seek out contact and interaction with their own friends less and less. it feels like they're all separating out into their own worlds, but also feels like they wouldn't willingly want to interact with each other if they weren't already forced together by some other outside contrivance.

if anything, i'd compare it to every other dating sim out there, where you, the player, are the most important person in these characters' lives, and they only feel ambivalent or antagonistic towards every other character. which, again, is not why i picked up monster prom or why i liked it so much in the first place.

and it's because of this that it feels like the current state of the series has to focus on its increasingly weak worldbuilding and lore, trying to form a more serious foundation without character relationships being so tightly bound together, without the characters themselves being more developed and rich, without an aspect of absurd humor to rely on.

more and more i've noticed monprom has to rely on referencing other series to make itself funny and create humor, which, again, it's always done. it was just easier to ignore back then, if you didn't know what was being referenced, because there was always more going on in the exact same scene to bolster it and give context clues as to the setup and punchline at play. it feels like the current games are much more dependent on you knowing pop culture references in order to have any fun with it, and i'm someone who, again, is very picky in what i like or what i'll seek out. i'm not interested in a stream of references about other things that i would much rather be doing than playing through a game that feels like it hates that i like it at all, when i could, again, just be engaging with the thing that takes itself seriously and knows what it wants.

[pixieskie]

˖˚˳⊹"i really do love you.. im sorry"˖˚˳⊹

-warnings: Angst, depress!on, su!c!dal thoughts, detachment, scars, body dysmorphia, disassociation, not proofread, chubby reader. -chars mentioned: Scaramouche -wc: 0.6k -a/n: i dont even know what to say.. Um this is .. something.. enjoy?

masterlist

as someone who felt every emotion more intense than others, it also meant feeling more sad. it should've been fine but you simply couldn't feel happy.. you have friends and family but still felt so lonely..

“helloooo” scaramouche waved his hand infront of your face to get your attention.

Suddenly looking up, you see him frowning at you. “what’re you thinking so hard about.. do you not wanna watch the movie?”

“sorry.. i just spaced out” you said embarrassed.. “just continue the movie, ill pay attention this time”.. Scara simply muttered a small ‘fine’ and resumed it.

Scaramouche is your best friend, the one you share everything with. But.. he could never understand the depth of your emotions.. The void you feel inside.. The aching loneliness that consumes you at every moment.

“Yes lets go to the beach!! itll be perf....”

“ooh i just bought a new bikini…..”

“wont it be too sunny? ill get tanne….”

you drowned out their conversation and thought of excuses to skip… you had no other choice.. a bikini wouldn't cover your scars, stretch marks or tummy fat.. it would be on display for everyone to see your insecurities and then they'd hate you.

“guys im sorry but i have to study this weekend.. exams are close”

“again? but didnt you say the same last week…”

“oh come on! itll be so fun…”

“ugh she does the same everytime…”

Ofcourse they wouldn't understand.. They had the perfect body..

The words were blurred as you tried to read them.. Nothing made sense to you anymore.. Your exams were near and you have to study but the words together don't make sense anymore..

Sighing, you went to splash some water on your face to wake yourself up. Looking up into the mirror, you saw failure.. Someone who cant study.. Someone who wouldnt be able to make a living..

You sat back down at your desk.. You can study and change your future right? its just a book..

But.. you cant make yourself read the words anymore.. you felt so tired..

Why cant you also be like others?.. Everyone else is so successful and perfect.. They have good grades, perfect body and happy lives..

You sat on the edge of the roof.. This used to be your hang out spot with Scara but eventually you both stopped meeting there.

“where the fuc- YOURE HERE?” Scara dramatically sighed, huffing. “Ive been searching all over for you. Come on, ive made dinner.. you have to eat something”

You chucked softly at his caring nature and nodded silently.. “Scara?” he was about to leave but turned back to look at you “yeah?”

“I love you”

He chuckled in confusion “yeah yeah i get it, i love you too. no need to get all sentimental with me, its just dinner.”

You turned back to the sky once he left. He probably went to your kitchen to fill a plate for you..

You smiled at the thought. He was the best person you could've asked for..

And it hurts. He cared for you so much but you couldn't appreciate it..

Leaving never had to be this painful.. But a tear fell down and you closed your eyes, recounting your memories..

There were so many happy moments you never got to enjoy.. Sad moments you stayed numb.. And the huge gap in your memory.. and nobody knew how you felt because you never let them.

‘Im so tired… Im so tired..” You looked at your feet, dangling off the roof.. ‘i hate this .. i dont wanna do this.. but theres nothing else to be done’

You took a deep breath in.. “i really do love you.. im sorry”...

…..

tags: @rubywonu @stygianoir @unsavoy-melon @kashiiwi @babbledabble25

[olderthannetfic]

I went scrolling through anti ao3 tags and blogs because I was bored and not doing the shit I need to do and you know for a group of people who every year twice a year throw such hissy fits you’d think they’d at least have a point, but all their arguments make no sense(except their one main one that they almost never use?--why??) Like ok, there is one argument for why people shouldn’t give money to ao3, and that is the argument that ao3 is bad website because it has bad policies and refuses to moderate. I disagree, but ultimately if someone thinks that ao3 should update the TOS and moderate what fan fiction they allow, it makes sense that that person would be against the site making money because… well they are against the sites founding principles, I’m not shocked they don’t want it to succeed.

But the rest of the arguments!? Man they make no sense at all

“They are scamming you there is no way they need that much money”, ”its immoral to give money to ao3 because they already have so much!”, “Even if ao3 was perfect, its ridicuslous to give 100K to a fan fiction site!” — like… maybe I’m the asshole here, but ao3 made about 250,000 this spring, so they make about 500,000 a year… that’s just not that much money! That could what, pay for 10-30 employees at best! And that’s not counting the actual cost of all the shit they currently spend their money on! I get that ao3 is run by unpaid volunteers so antis think that 500K is a lot, but that’s not true! That’s not a lot of money at all! It might be a lot of money for an individual but for a company that’s practically pennies. Wikipedia, which granted is a lot bigger than ao3, with 57,218,269 pages to ao3s 6 million works, makes 155 million to ao3 500,000. According to antis ao3 has over a million in reserve and well according to wikipedia they have net assets of US$240 million. One is clearly more than the other!

I saw someone say that servers should be 1K, which is so stupid and out of touch with eveything I almost died laughing. I had a project using firebase this semester, I created 2 projects within firebase one for my school project and one to dick around and figure out. I accidentally set my test database to a “pay as you go” version instead of a free version. And almost had to pay a thousand dollars for the month! I wasn’t even using that database it was just sitting there but I check my google billing to make sure I wasn’t paying anything and it turns out I was! 150 dollars actually so that sucks! (My fault though)

Also also I keep seeing that its ridiculous and evil to pay the much for a site that “doesn’t improve” but the “doesn’t improve” is referring to A) no changes in TOS, which I don’t want to happen any way so good. B) the fact that it’s still in beta, which I don’t give a fuck about and I don’t understand why I should care. I think antis are dont like that the layout hasn’t changed but I don’t want to the layout to change. Also things come out of beta because they are a commercial product to be sold(this is very simplified), which is why some things come out of beta to waaaay to early and are glitchy as all hell! Ao3 isn’t being sold to me its slowly being built and archiving things that would probably be lost, and it will probably technically be in beta forever, but it doesn't effect me and I don't care. Would it be better if it came out of beta only to continously updated like a lot other shit does. I don't really play video games but I know ppl that do so I know at least once a game came out that didn't really work and people needed to later update shit for it to function and I'd argue thats worse than a functional website just being in beta forever. C) The claim that it hasn’t changed at all, which is just not true! They added the exclude section and eventually added the blocking shit. The blocking took too long to come out, so I guess in this sea of dumb criticism theres at least 1 piece of critism that makes sense. And finally again I don’t want it to change! Every other week we are all bitching that Tumblr or YouTube or Instagram or any other app are needlessly changing the layout or adding shit we don’t want in order to keep up with latest trends, make it more marketable or try and attracted new users. Ao3 is great because its never going to change. Ao3 and Craigslist will always kinda look like ass and I’m ok with that. If it aint broke ¯_(ツ)_/¯

I could keep going but there is no point. I just think they are all so stupid.

--

The thing about beta is the funniest because AO3, like oldschool shit from the 90s, has actual criteria for coming out of beta.

It's not "we've been going for 10 years" or "we want to sell the product": it's "we've checked off all the things on this checklist".

And they still haven't done them all, so it's still in beta.

[koipalm]

For sy attendant au - what are SQQ attitude and feelings towards SY, if you don't mind me asking?

Because what I read so far hadn't painted him in good light. Like sure - he wants to survive and SY is an key asset in that, but the way he goes around it is... questionable.

so i answered this ask about it but i just realized that i dont think i tagged it with anything so. MY BAD thats my bad

the long and short of it is that sqq is definitely not a good person in this au lol. granted theres less of the overt child abuse because sy is able to stop some of that but sy still is very much a servant to him. one of the better things about this au is that sqq really just sees sy as a means to an end.. there is some attachment to him but sqq really does not really see sy as someone with his own agenda outside of like. living comfortably. its kind of good in a way that like sqq will grant sy a general amount of mobility around the sect because of sy's vague position and he doesnt reeaally care what shen yuan is doing if its not actively doing work for the peak or sqq.

sqq really sees sy as more of like. a political pawn? in a way. like he keeps sy close for appearances around the sect and he does in some way feel like hes doing charity work because by extension of working for him sy is granted a fair amount of power and status. but he doesnt care what shen yuan does in his free time or for fun. sqq is not the worst person of all in this au but he is definitely someone who isnt afraid of using others to help himself. that and like. its definitely a pat on the back for him of being able to say "well you were sent here to take my place and instead of killing you as was my right i HELPED you and i even gave you your own place on this peak and look at you now. youre mingling with some of the best and the brightest that the cultivation world has to offer" like nevermind that he isnt interested in helping sy with his own cultivation lawl

ok that wasnt short at all sorry but sqq is using sy but he also feels like hes helping him a bit. its a pretty unequal give and take so they definitely have an unhealthy relationship. that being said i think sy goes out of his way to misunderstand sqq a lot because he allows his hate of sqq to shape how he sees his actions.. so he doesnt put a lot of effort into actually examining how sqq differs from the book. also now that ive had a lot of time to think on this au i dont really think that sy's end goal in all of this would be to LEAVE as much as it would be he would want an actual firm position and leverage over sqq so he didnt feel so unstable. that and he does feel indebted to sqq. he could probably handle being around the guy if sqq didnt have so much say over his life

[disabled-systems]

We’re not even pro endo but even we can see that having “(pro) endos dni” on a disability culture blog is in poor taste. If it was just endos dni, that’s one thing. It’s fair to not want endos to interact with a blog like this if you don’t want them to (even though they themselves can be and often are physically disabled).

But pro endo systems often have dissociative disorders themselves. They can have histories of complex trauma. They can have alters who feel one way while the rest of the system feels differently. And they can be physically disabled. It’s weird to have a culture blog for systems that cuts off such a huge swath of systems who could be in need of such a space.

It might be worth considering for you to take the (pro) out of your dni if you actually care about physically disabled systems. Please understand that syscourse is a really touchy and complicated topic for lots of systems, and not everyone will be able to fit neatly into that black and white view of “anti endos good, pro endos bad.”

i genuinely understand where youre coming from here and i really appreciate where your heart is, but i dont agree with you.

the problem with even a pro endo traumagenic system interacting and sending asks is that those system experience could be heavily formed by misinfo and other things like that. while their experience still could be valid, theres nuances that i worry about. the actual symptoms may be real, but the way that they connect them together or talk about them could be entirely wrong or even upsetting to us personally. another issue is, i could be unknowingly promoting misinfo with non-anon asks for people who could go to their blog because i platformed it.

a good analogy is: would you want a pro-transID but fully, validly transgender person interacting with you? a transgender person who agrees witht transracism, transageism, trans-ect, but isnt themself. their ideology is still JUST AS HARMFUL. would you want that community coming into contact with a space you made so that YOU could share your OWN safe space? no. you probably would not.

our goal isnt and never has been exclusion. if you want to be pro endo, or hell, even endo and follow and like our posts, we dont stalk our follower and like tags. go for it. we dont care. where i draw the line is that we have been being sent MULTIPLE asks a DAY when this blog is only near a week old about how we are a terrible person for not allowing pro-endos in OUR OWN SPACE.

no hate to you anon, but please consider our position from someone who just genuinely wanted a space to be safe from every-day ableism.

-aurora (he/him)

[prairietrashdotcom]

eee i got tagged to do a tag game by @mrcrepsley thank you :)

im tagging: @stitchedgrave @laceandgore @r0ttdweller @cherubgore @cannibaldotcom @unfading-scrutiny but if you've already been tagged in this one or dont feel like it its cool. n if i didnt tag u please do it if you want to also.

Do you make your bed? if by make you mean pull down the duvet so it can air out, then yes. dont worry about why that is.

What's your favorite number? 3, 9, 13, 27

What is your job? i have been a sporadically employed hermit for the last four years :( i am starting college again next week though (media focused program) and theres a lot of production-like activity where i live so hopefully in the future that works out.

If you could go back to school, would you? See above, but i do sometimes wish i could go back to my uni in canada, but only if i was single so i could at least try n fuck my history prof at least once

Can you parallel park? no :(

A job you had that would surprise people? i have no idea how i am perceived on here so i dont know if it would surprise people that i've ghostwritten a book and worked as an actor in a haunted house. those were probably the least surprising answers but other than that its just bartending and baking.

Do you think aliens are real? duh.

Can you drive a manual car? i cannot drive any car but im working on it, although public transport here is just decent enough that it isnt, like, urgent.

What's your guilty pleasure? i honestly feel less ashamed of my various sexual proclivities than i do about living for TLC's Sister Wives. watching that chode get left in the dust not once, not twice, but thrice was especially delicious.

Tattoos? i have four. both of the ones on my right arm are bird themed but that was unintentional. theres a little bird on my forearm from The Garden of Earthly Delights' middle panel, and then a lawn flamingo on my right shoulder. the lawn flamingo is heavily associated in Winnipeg culture with the Transcona neighbourhood, where my mom's from and where i lived for a few years. everyone else in Winnipeg clowns on Transcona for being white trash, which is not technically incorrect but its my favourite place. On my left wrist ive got a hand with an eye in it, and then a crescent moon surrounded by clouds on my left shoulder.

Favorite color? pink, black, light blues, ive been really into brown this year.

Favorite type of music? i love music in general, any type can be good as long as the people making it care about it but 80s alternative/new wave/punk will always hit so so good for me. and vintage or alternative country. and 90s alt.

Do you like puzzles? i love doing the nyt puzzles stoned every night but i will die before i give them any money to play them.

Any phobias? someone with prior knowledge of my phobias using them to torture me

Favorite childhood sport? i did kickboxing in my teens for a lil bit n it was really fun :)

Do you talk to yourself? chronically, but only out loud if im home alone or out in public alone.

What movies do you adore? to the surprise of no one; horror, especially trashy b-horror/horror comedy. also whatever The Butcher Boy (1997) dir. Neil Jordan (i will never stop evangelizing this movie please watch it sinead o'connor plays the virgin mary) is.

Coffee or Tea? coffee 100%. i live in tea country however. sometimes its nice but objectively the 'tea' people are talking about here (Barrys vs Lyons) tastes like a hot wet paper bag unless you put 3 teaspoons of sugar in it.

First thing you wanted to be when you grew up? either a palaeontologist or a goth, its hard to tell which came first. ironically my mom was much more supportive of my desire to be goth. this is the cognitive dissonance that came with being an early 2000s evangelical christian who listens to Rob Zombie and Evanescence. she eventually relaxed about jesus.

[istherewifiinhell]

okayyyy also. tagged by @joelletwo for 5 topics i could talk about for an hour with no prep.

now. two things. 1. i have infernal podcast dude energy and could say a lot about nothing. weird trait to have if u dont like talking to people? hard to say. 2. GESTURES AT BLOG. im ALREADY. talking at length abt my beloved shit. so im just ruling out turtles, alien robots, trek, etcetcetc all the shit thats been a main blog topic for the last past. 4 years?

I'm gonna say.... western voice actors? not that i could really. Give a lecture so much as. I'm way more familiar with them that than I am live action actors. And I'm kinda just CONSTANTLY like. Oh you know so and so from every cartoon youve ever fucking seen? And FEEL a real. gap. with people when they dont have a same reference point. probably like how ppl feel with me when i dont know their acting guys jhadbgjfga. Like u can name 5 VAs from ur childhood cartoons/animated movies right? And personal interest like, hey btw u know like the entire cast of tng was in disneys gargoyles? U know keith david can SING? And diego luna? Hey you know about Canadian actors who are in all the dubs and video games and yeah cheap shit? You know Scott McNeil right? You know Ian James Corlett? You know. THE IAN. of being Ian. Hello. is this thing still on?

I really like and care about the topics of education, children's rights and pedagogy? Not academically so much as, personal interest. What seeing very clearly that there was a lot of arbitrary rules that involved things like. The Government. and Systems. as a child does to a motherfucker I guess? I'm always INTERESTED in a discussion about it, is how i mean I guess. Like focuses of multiple intelligence and "applied knowledge" (and short comings there of). I mean long and short of it. Kids are full human beings and until u can grapple with that their feelings and opinions um. Actually matter. I hate you? jdhbgjhdb. And Naturally the world being good for kids has the prerequisite of it not sucking ass for adults too....

UHhhh guh. User design/civil engineering? You'll hear it from me until the day I die, crushed under the tires of a ford f1 giga truck with the LED 20million watt bulbs. PROTECTED BIKE LANES. for the love of god. I just know a lot of designers I guess and like engineering, conceptually. But like, u know that famous bridge everyone crashes into. If theres 80million warning signs and people are still crashing... maybe theres. other factors. Or you know ofc like, traffic planning, vehicle accidents, structural disasters. A lot of them are not just. Things happening. Tragedies. There's politics there. Usually a lot of Money stuff. and structural racism. The real reason your fridge is full is that there's a bunch of half empty condiment jars hiding all your forgotten left overs. And widening the roads isnt gonna do shit for traffic.

Jackass entry: Themes and motifs of anyyytthing ive watched with another person or saw, and like they also know it. I realllly like, visual theming and narrative shorthands. Anything that breaks like, maybe people in this setting dont have the same customs, but their gonna do something so you the audience can recognize it. Non literal/accurate use of colour and lighting, for mood and clarity. Breaking the physical shape and scale of things so they can appear and be readable on screen. COSTUMING COSTUMING COSTUMING. A well styled character can do soooo much for your understanding of a work, especially with large casts, and a poorly styled one can take me right out. Well. anyway. yes i love animation u all knew that.

uhhhhh Thatgamecompany/giantsquids studio. im giving myself a free space. lol technically I DO. blog about this. the music. at least. BUT beloved. games. Me and everyone else I guess. Hey speaking of u know its laura bailey and troy baker as the voices in the pathless? And you know how a lot of the games have themes of coming into being/growing/rebirth. And LOTS of environmentalism. And implied cultural world building, and wordless stories. and beautiful metaphor rich otherworldly visuals. and gameplay styles that really connect with the emotional story their going for. and ofc, the music. oh the leit motifs. well. there u go. sword of the sea when?

tagginggg. uh did anyone get @deadgrantaires or @army-of-bee-assassins yet? anyone elseeee who wants to regale me with things they knowww about. id love to know.

[chronically-enthusiastic]

Hello there, thanks for stumbling across my blog!

(Here's a lil comic I made for a school assignment)

Artblog: @chronicallyartistic

Audio drama blog: @chronically-listeningtopodcasts

I'm going to start putting my social energy levels in my bio... There's a lot of stuff I want to respond to but i currently dont have the energy to do so, and so if I don't respond within like a day, check my bio and see that...

Who am I / Where else can you find me?

First of all, feel free to call me Eli!! I'm on the waiting list for an autism diagnosis. I am agender and aroace-spec.

I am verrryyy enthusiastic about the things I am interested in (hence the URL hehehe). And currently, those are: podcasts (theres a list at the bottom of the post), good omens, ofmd, bbc merlin, star trek!!!!, lotr, and probably more things that I am too tired to think of right now!

I use the queue! Im not awake at the ungodly hours i sometimes am seen posting at, I just dont want to utterly flood peoples dashes! I do reblog fandom stuff and things ive added anything to immediately, so if you see a few posts in short succession, im online!

I am a very big fan of the oxford comma and double brackets. Semicolons are pretty cool too. And ellipses are incredible.

i love all of my mutuals dearly!! Making cookies and hot chocolate for you all <33

I try to use tone tags as much as possible!

Boundaries:

Things I am okay with sharing/doing:

My age, gender/sexuality, things about my guinea pigs!!, and most other things

Things I am not okay with sharing/doing:

The city I live in, pictures of me/anyone I know, my full name, my birthdate, my phone number/email address, meeting up with people irl, sending/receiving money/gifts, dms (<- though if we're mutuals and interacted a lot dms are fine!!)

^ this applies to everyone im not in the discord with

I will let someone know if they cross boundaries, and *really* would like other people to let me know if I cross theirs!!

DNI: people who are here to spread hate and anger. Just, stay away. I dont engage in discourse. I know DNIs dont deterr these people, but this is a demonstration of my core values :)

Tags:

(At the top cause otherwise it will get lost) ALSO #tw body horror

I block quite a few tags but most notably #tw war and other ones to do with the war in israel/palestine. This is not because I don't care. I care so so so much about what is happening and I cry every time I see a post about it. It breaks my heart that such horrible things are happening. However, I really struggle with high empathy, and seeing a post about it can really affect me for a while, and I need tumblr to be a safe space away from the real world problems. If I follow you - please could you tag things to do with war. Thank you <3

Updated to clarify - I do block the generic tags such as Israel and Gaza, which most of the posts are tagged with by the op, so if you forget its no big deal!!

A list of all the podcasts I listen to because y'know, its fun:

Fiction:

The Amelia Project

Wooden Overcoats

The Adventure Zone

Sherlock & Co

Alba Salix

Unseen

And a whole lot more that i no longer listen to either because they havent updated or they are a little too creepy (Welcome to Night Vale falls into the latter category)

Science:

The Sci Guys

Lets Learn Everything

Lingthusiasm

A podcast of unnecessary detail.

Comedy/other:

Dear Hank and John

The Unmade Podcast

Books Unbound

Lateral

A book list of recommendations from mutuals for my own use:

abigail by Magda Szasbo (@mack-anthology-mp3)

The Alphabet of Candice Phee (@jamie-dinow)

A list of music reccomendations from mutuals:

in the lap of the gods revisited by queen, why can't i be you by the cure, pyramid song, and lucky & the tourist by radiohead, when the sun hits by slowdive, dancing barefoot by patti smith, tangerine by led zeppelin, autumn sweater by yo la tengo, rubber ring by the smiths, water by pj harvey (from @/mack-anthology-mp3)

imi hendrix’s all along the watchtower (from @/catholickedd)

[frogndtoad]

Do you have your favorite albums shared in a post somewhere? I've been trying to find new music and the only thing I wouldn't care to listen to are songs that tend towards vulgarity, so I'd really appreciate some recs if you've got some :,)

howdy anon! always happy to share new music - i don't have a post, but a few of my all-timers are:

Stars - Heart maybe my favorite album by my alternatingly favorite band; absolutely atmospheric indie pop mostly about love, for better or for worse (as in contextually. all of the songs rule). plus theres french horn!

Streetlight Manifesto - Everything Goes Numb the ska-punk album so good it took me over half a decade to get into ska fr because nothing else could measure up. absolutely epic horns quite good lyrics. wish i coulda made any of the anniversary shows this year

Clipping. - Splendor & Misery perfect afrofuturist noise rap concept album about a slave spaceship and the sentient ai that controls it and the human who breaks free. probably the least gory clipping album if thats an issue for u. i love listening to static dot jpg

The Mountain Goats - Beat The Champ if there is a theme in this list let it be my love of horns. other alternatingly favorite band, and if you havent checked these guys out what are you even doing sending asks to frogndtoad dot tumblr dot com. this is their concept album about pro wrestling - a lot bigger sounds than some of the earlier lofi stuff, plenty of lines still about getting stabbed or doing stabbing. but to a jaunty little horn feature! i have rotating top goats but this has been it for a bit

Willi Carlisle - Peculiar, Missouri one of my favorite if not my favorite finds of the year. truly truly beautiful folk album i dont even know what else to say here. absolutely so excited for Critterland next year

disclaimer also that i was taken a little aback by the use of the word 'vulgarity' here in my asks on tumblr dot com for a couple reasons but tried at the very least to take ur sentiment as best as i could and provide some good albums i stand by. might not meet your needs but its not esp gorey and its not esp raunchy and i hope that you enjoy

oh also!! i do keep an #album-log tag that i update periodically with roundups of what ive been listening to and how much; theres a few stats there. might try to keep a better maintained recs tag in the new year but mostly i do that at least for myself i just think its fun to share also

[raichana]

15 Questions Meme

another super fun tag from @card-queen here

Rules: Answer the 15 questions as your OC or yourself. Tag up to 15 people.

Tagging: @teresashiho and @prilaja-artblog, anyone else who wants to try!

Teach me more about your characters! Please!

Are you named after anyone?

Raichana: My father named me after someone named in a prophecy. He wanted to prove it wouldn't come true... Darious: no comment Arianna: Apparently it's a family name but I can't find anyone in our history with that name. Ciella: no comment...

When was the last time you cried?

Raichana: What time is it? uh...a few hours ago? Darious: If I cry it would make Rai cry so I avoid doing it in front of her. Arianna: You think I have time to cry, i'd much rather spend that time making some coin. Ciella: Crying isn't the easiest for me, Still i guess in the last hundred years or so?

Do you have kids?

Rai and Darious: *looks at each other and blush*Maybe one day Arianna: No but I did accidently start and orphanage so i guess that counts? Ciella: Define child, I have created a lot of 'Children' but I am unable to have any myself.

Do you use sarcasm?

Raichana: *stares out into space head empty* whats that? Darious: No Arianna: Oh yes, all the time. Ciella: I'm unable to lie and sarcasm can tread too close to untruths so unfortunately no.

What’s the first thing you notice about others?

Raichana: How easy it is to read their mind, Once I thought someone had completely blocked my telepathy but no they just had no thoughts at all ever! Darious: Weaknesses in their defenses. you can never be too careful Arianna: rings, jewlery, shoes... anything to let me know if they are the type my guide may be interested in. Ciella: Any sign of illness or discomfort, I want to help as many people as possible.

What’s your eye colour?

Raichana: Technically brown but I store light in them so they look gold! Darious: they were apprently blue when I was younger but they are red now Arianna: the one that's still there is Green Ciella: *clutches locket* what a silly question, you can see they are amber, theres no other colour they could be... ha ha

Scary stories or happy endings?

Raichana: Happy endings! Scary things are no fun Darious: I actually think Scary stories are better, not everything can have a happy ending it makes no sense. Arianna: Scary stories, mostly so I can use them to scare Raichana Ciella: Happy endings, i've seen too many horrors over the years i'd rather things be full of joy.

Any special talents?

Raichana: *bounces* I can bend light which allows me to create illusion or even attack with concentrated light! I'm also psychic but I can't control it at all so it's not really a talent. Darious: I can bend darkness but it's only really good for hiding things when it's already dark or creating a blade. Arianna: I can travel through shadows, it's handy but if it's too dark I can't actually use it so it's pretty limiting without a lightsource.

Where were you born?

Raichana: According to Mom I was born in a town really far away but we had to move to the forest for our safety. Darious and Arianna: A hidden village called Haven, Only Demon elves can travel there. Ciella: *sweating* well... uh... when you have lived as long as I have.... you dont always know these things.... ha ha

What are your hobbies?

Raichana: This journey doesn't allow for much time for hobbies but I really like dancing! Darious: I enjoy to cook... it's partially a hobby and partially because if I let anyone else cook i'll probably die. Arianna: I collect rare plants... sure it tends to double as a good source of poison for work but it's still a hobby. Ciella: I spend most of my time working in the apothecary but in my free time I enjoy learning how to grow and brew tea blends.

Do you have any pets?

Raichana, Darious and Arianna: nope Ciella: I have tried but they all turn into feycreatures eventually so I have stopped trying.

What sports do you play/have played?

Raichana: I tried to participate in Haven's hunt once but I couldn't catch anything. Darious and Arianna: the hunt have put on every winter.... Ciella: I have tried many sports over the years but buy the time i go to play it again all the rules have been interpreted differently so I avoid sports.

How tall are you?

Raichana: 5'2"! but i'm still a growing girl! (spoilers no she isn't) Darious: 6'2" But I am part elf so I may still have a few more inches to grow (spoilers he does) Arianna: 5'6" Ciella: ha ha I'm also 5'6".... what a completely random coincidence... ha ha

Favourite subject in school?

Raichana: Lucian's school suuucked... there were only four of us there and he wouldn't teach me any of the training lessons, Darious had to train me after the sun went down! Darious: *blushing* Training rai after class was probably my favourite school subject. Arianna: School? the closest thing I had to that was training and well... I think if you like learning all about butchering and poisons it's kind of fun? Ciella: Dad taught me everything I could ever even imagine trying to learn, I can't pick a favourite it's all so important to me.

Dream job?

Raichana: Dancer! unfortunately I have another job lined but I'm going to try and make sure my sister stays in that role, she's currently doing it and is better then I could ever be! Darious: The idea of thinking about the future is hard for me, I don't think I have as dream job... Arianna: Imagine taking a job other then working for the guild.... I'm in this for life one way or another... Ciella: I'm already working my dream job at the Apothecary... I get to help people every day... It's much better then what I did in the past...

[restlesssleepers]

more syscourse cause im mad feel free to skip

im not gonna tag this or mention anyone specifically because i dont want to be fucking attacked but our largely inflated sense of justice is going GRGRGRGGR so i need to make my point a bit here so im sure weve all seen the pluralpunk system punk argument currently going on, at this point i was about to go yay !! new tag so people will stop bitching and leave each other alone !!! but noooooo someone went and made a flag going grgr i hate anti endos heres a flag with a dead animal in the mouth of its predator. which, weird in the first place to make that, why are you so pressed its a tag on tumblr pls go touch grass, but depicting a prey animal DEAD on a flag 'reclaiming a term from the evil stupid antis' is?? did you not connect the dots??? that people would interpret it this way???? like if its reallyyy about the field of psychiatry as a whole sure whatever, but don't get mad at people for missing your symbolism when the thing youre symbolising had nothing to do with the conversation.

and THEN theres the people attacking the person who pointed this out are?? are they ok??? like, idk abotu yall but they probably just opened the syspunk tag, saw that bullshit, blocked, then went 'hey guys thats really weird' on their own account, they most likely !!! did not go snooping on that persons account first to see if that person has a cdd or not before blocking because !!! thats kinda weird !!! same thread for the people who are going 'I HAVE A FUCKKING CDD BITCH YOU FCUCKING BITCH WE HATE YOU ANTI ENDOS ARE EVIL YOURE VICTIMISING YOURSELF BECAUSE ME AND THIS OTHER RANDOM GUY AND THE CREATOR OF THE FLAG HAVE CDDS' compared to the people i have personally seen saying 'chains + predator + its dead prey + creator aggressively hating a group of people = people in that group thinking it was targeted' girl.... nobody cares if you have a cdd or not you're just mean, youre just yelling at abused kids, idc if you were also or are also an abused kid, having a shit life does not make you unable to make someone elses life shittier also even the creators response if awful,, like 'idc if you feel unsafe by the possible insinuation that people are going to hurt you' ??? weird which brings me to YET ANOTHER POINT because no im not done i could talk about how stupid some people are forever the extremely negative generalisations (which are on both side, but i'm specifically referencing the response from the flag maker, specifically specifically "tbh If it made anti endos feel unsafe..I kinda don’t care lol anti endos never made anyone feel safe" do you now see how cynical that is?? why do i feel like i have to beg people to treat each other with like a smidge of humanity, like are you reading this?? you dont care if you make other human beings feel unsafe like thats not even really my point but i have to keep coming back to that bit there but like actually my point is, stop talking to each other, i'm being so fr, youre like evil siblings that need their own corner but get jealous then ruin it then argue then need their own corner and the cycle just repeats, use the tag filters, use tags properly, if you dont like a post, block the user, i thought this was basic internet knowledge and btw !! this is coming from someone who is technically anti endo, but you know what !! i interact with endos and other system types on discord servers and stuff because it is (and let me say it real loud for the people who have their head in the ground) A PUBLIC SPACE. if you dont want to interact with an individual so bad, it is your job to facilitate that, but guess what !! theres always going to be overlap because not everyone can control everything, so everyones best bet is to just shut your mouth, please i am begging shut your mouth, if you happen to come across one another accidentally and it comes up, just say smth like "i know we wont agree on this topic, so lets not talk about it" because lets be so fr, there are bigger issues, which i know sounds very hypercritical of someone who has spent the last however long typing this out but whatever, because its the internet nobody will care by tomorrow, just treat each other like people

[xumoonhao]

you know. the thing i find strangest about tumblr is how they so rarely listen to us, the people who use their app & site daily. like we all - for the vast majority imo - want the same, or at the very least similar, things. and this cant be something the staff is blind to - there are SO many posts with tens of thousands of notes saying this, and there are countless replies and reblogs to their DIRECT blog posts saying this, too.

we dont want live anymore, not that we ever wanted it in the first place. we dont wants nazis. we dont want terfs. we dont want porn bots. we dont want an algorithim or a 'for you' page or for you to give us posts 'based on our likes!' or any other way for you to show us posts other than posted by the blogs we follow. but you know what do we want??? for the search and tagging functions to work properly. to keep our custom blogs -- most of which have been crafted by users for themselves or others. to keep reblog chains. for trans people to not be flagged JUST because theyre trans. for poc to not have their blogs deleted for no reason. like…theres more, but these are the main ones i can remember off the top of my head. and its so fucking FRUSTRATING because i KNOW tumblr wants to make money - they literally have to. and they could. if they listened to US and what we want and what we dont want i just KNOW they could make so much money. if they made their site better they would get new users, bring back old users, and overall make the existing users much, much happier. they are literally holding themselves back by trying to craft themselves into every other social media site (a horrible plan just on surface alone; a personal blogging site is simply not the same as most social media, nor would it ever be. they are different in use alone.) and in doing so theyre going to lose users and, probably, run themselves into the ground in the end because theyre going to turn away the only people who really care to use the site right now. and its just…like i Want this site to succeed - not for any kind of allegiance to tumblr or anything, but just because this site is still a unique corner of the internet. like theres so many friends ive made on here, so many wonderful creators, and such a community on here thats not really present wideform on other sites. and like…idk. i just wish staff would stop trying to turn this site into something its not by bloating it with features literally NOBODY wants when theres things they could do that everyone wants. you know what i mean??

[transboysokka]

20 Questions for fic writers!

this is from @ozais-lobotomist and i tag any writer who sees this post lolol

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

ive deleted a fuckton and pretty much started my account over in july lol but right now there are 20 things on there

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

101,151. Since mid-July. omg wtf.

3. What fandoms do you write for?

SO MANY in the past, but my ao3 right now just has for atla and theres one les mis oneshot thats YEARS old that i cant bring myself to delete lol

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

wow ive never checked let me see 1. Zuko Amongst the Dragons 2. Zuko and Sokka Get Engaged in the Most Zukka Way Possible 3. Hidden Pain, Shared Love 4. Scratchy 5. Mother whoa tbh im v surprised by this list

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

YES i try to say thank u to everyone!!!

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

omg i cant CHOOSE uhhh its gonna have to be One Last Time

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

i dont have a lot of those? lol but its probs gotta be the sequel to One Last Time, The End of All Things

8. Do you get hate on fics?

omg no i could not imagine

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

hehehehe nah not really, im not the best at it. i write other fucked up shit instead. we love us some torture porn

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

nah, not really my style tbh

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

no that would be wild (bad)

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

no that would be wild (good) ive thought about translating some of my own fics but i just dont know if the demand would be very high to be worth it???

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

not in a long long long time but i'm interested! other zukka writers hmu (though I'm pretty picky about who I write with. It's not personal, just a style thing)

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

My all-time favorite ship to WRITE is probably Zukka. It's really fun and comes real naturally to me

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

Probably my Divorced Zukka The Last Five Years AU. I couldn't get it off to that strong of a start, the reception wasn't great, and there's a lot of boring stuff I'd have to get through before I got to the Good Stuff, so that motivation is just dead.

16. What are your writing strengths?

tbh just Being In Character. That's what I get the most compliments on. also grammar and spelling, that kind of thing.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I skip over description and setting scenes as much as I possibly can, and it's not necessarily that I Can't as much as I Don't Care To... I get away with it because it's fanfiction but I'd like to... start trying a bit harder at it

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in a fic?

I guess if I had reason to? If it fit with the flow/plot of the fic, there was good reason to do it, and it was in one of the only two other languages I speak... I don't see there being a reason for that in this fandom though lol

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Star Wars, about 15 years ago lol

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

all of my children have a special place in my heart. I love Zuko Amongst the Dragons and One Last Time. Also bad idea right? was just super fun and is a bit underrated if u ask me lol

[auspex]

I wanted to send in an ask for the in-character ask meme for mark but i couldnt think of anything, so instead i ask you to ramble about one of the things regarding mark that makes you lose it! Stuff you're totally so Normal about in a Lying way!! It's so fun hearing about that stuff as well as WHY it makes you lose it, yknow?? does this make sense??? hope it does lmao

k im breaking out this ask cause im doin bad. if you dont know or care about mark dont bother reading htis - i found that sometimes my mark tag shows in the general vtm tag and im sorry.

im so normal about how vampires live forever but also live in constant danger (usually)

on the one hand Mark knows he has eternity

on the other hand he knows that in a few nights it could be his last

but the man lives off denial and so he focuses on the first one.

this intersects w some of his... motivations in interesting ways

for example a main one is who he considers it his responsibility to protect sampson. but ok 1: he is a ghoul, so he'll live forever but does he want to? 2: its a dangerous world so protecting him is a big task and can he do that forever? and 3: what happens if sampson does want to live longer but turns against him either emotionally or in a deeper way? what then.

like basically the situation he's in... can it last forever? probably not. will mark grapple with that fact? No <3 its fine for now cause he isn't even a year in yet but it will be a problem at some point...

another one is serving Julius. so far julius has not asked anything too heinous of him but if there truly is eternity that's not gonna last forever. also, mark doesnt know this, but I Do, that when the pyramid falls, the blood bond may traumatically break but that does NOT mean Julius is gonna let go - only become more coercive, with mark more aware of the shit spot he is in. i am going to go absolutely insane when that happens. mark is gonna have a mc'freakin breakdown and if sampson isnt his friend at this point idk what he will do cause thats the only person in his life who could possibly understand.

Ok and finally just how literally like. ok so. mark struggles against the beast like every kindred does and GENRALLY does well because of a promise to himself after he murdered a guy in hunger frenzy, that once he gets That Hungry (mechanically hunger 4) his top goal will be reducing it and at hunger 3 its one of his highest goals. Like he has to believe he can keep it in check. but with eternity... mistakes happen. like there isnt any way he could prevent himself from ever making a mistake like that again. he is in such denial about it though. and when he fucks up again he'll be forced to accept that it will happen Another time, and Again. itll be so delicious <3 (like the blood i mean what)

Anyways.

mark believes he is taking a long view of things but he truly is NOT. he's just using that idea to Cope. he tells himself he has to settle things in his territory, w sampson, w such and such julius task, then he can sit down, study like he wants to, keep things in check ; but here is the thing. vampire society isnt like that. things are gonna shake up eventually. because you either die fast in one of those shake ups, or you live forever always long enough to see another one.

he is telling himself to just go a little longer, push a little harder, and then he can rest. then itll be ok.

but that might not ever come.

he has to learn some coping mechanisms soon... or have friends. hes not in a place where he could actually step away and get a break.

he's getting there on the friends bit w his coterie mate rose cause she agreed to stop dating Lucky (LOTS OF CONTEXT NEEDED WHY THIS IS IMPORTANT BUT IT IS ) and that meant a lot to him and he'll be more willing to open up to her in the future- but i think that will still require some sort of come-to-jesus moment where hes like. Oh shit im doing really bad actually.

which he is

but if you ask him, he will just say theres a lot going on and he's somewhat stressed <3 omg

anyway thanks @eric-the-bmo for my life

[spamtonology]

Hii ive been lately thinking alot about spamton and how he views any romantic relationships, and dont get me wrong, i do myself like few spamton ships alot, but i think that spamton probably never had an actual experience with any romantic feelings in canon, or will in near future

Back in his addison and big shot days, he probably was too busy calculating, selling, and speaking to his phone friend to actually ever consider liking anyone, like yeah probably few Swatchlings made him go like 😮😮😮😮😮 and he was flirting with ladies (or maybe Even queen) on any types of parties, but in reality i dont think he ever truly thought about anyone in romantic way, yes he did think about being in relationship, but never got Close enough with anyone to actually concider it, because he had other goals to do first

And i dont think current spamton is any better, hes wayyyy too mentally unstable to be in a relationship, the only thing he really cares about at the moment is NEO, and hes way too much detached from reality, he would either have very bad sudden episode and run away from his "loved one" or use them to get to neo. Like i get all the "take spamton home take care of him" fics are made mainly for fluff, but spamton isnt really in his right mind after his downfall, and honestly that would certainly lead to very unhealthy relationship, where one is using another for his own needs and other one is treating him like a child/pet not knowing how to handle him

(But well, theres also post canon possibilities, but we have no idea how story can go and can only form headcanons for that, but if you'd like i would be very happy to write my own interpretation later ^__^)

I would love to hear others take on this idea too because When i first thought about it i was like omg thats actually not a bad idea. And wanted to share it but i was kinda shy lol

I don't know what you're trying to ask? If you have a blog of your own you could post this in the tag, don't worry about being shy, I understand. You wanted my opinion on the idea so I will discuss it.

Just a disclaimer, a lot of this is going to be headcanon on what I believe his life was like in the stages prior to canon. You are free to disagree with my headcanon as it's not correct, only my interpretation.

I think as an Addison he was relatively isolated and lonely (despite being with the other Addisons often...you can be in a friend group and still feel left out, I've been there), and often hammed up his own personality and ego to try to get attention and to stand out. He did develop a sort of insecurity complex as a result. He might have shown some interest/attraction to potential customers, but it never went anywhere beyond that, and his fellow Addisons would always catch their attention before he could anyway.

As a Big Shot, he's incredibly busy and overworked and stressed despite his otherwise luxurious new life, but masked it with unhealthy coping mechanisms, which didn't work well for him at all. He could seem outwardly charismatic and talkative to outsiders, but on the inside he would be struggling severely with himself, just a constant downward spiral until he finally snapped. In terms of relationships, he probably sought after people he thought he could trust his secrets with, namely Swatch if the Q&A is anything to go by. Queen's close proximity and party-going nature probably helped a lot with Spamton's forming of relationships even if it was probably confined to the mansion...Spamton to me feels like the type of guy who wanted to impress Queen as much as possible and show how truly good he is at his job, only later developing feelings for her and doubling down on that. Swatch is a special case, but I think his relationship with Swatchlings was more of mild intimidation that he tried to play off as disinterest/seeing the Swatchlings as, well, underlings.

I do not think it's fair to say he is too "mentally unstable" to be in a relationship...That almost feels insulting to him. I think I remember having a similar opinion before rescinding it because I realized it could be ableist. I think he is not completely detached from reality as this was the case with Jevil, rather I believe he is all too aware of the reality he is in and denies it vehemently so it may come off as being detached from reality in that context.

You are right that Spamton’s current character could lead to a tumultous and unhealthy relationship, but it doesn’t have to be that way. I really do not like the implication you made that it would be like trying to take care of a child or pet, but maybe I am misinterpreting your words. Many fanfictions do portray that sort of relationship which I detest and try to avoid at all costs. “Taking care of” Spamton is like taking care of an adult man with a history of severe mental illness. There are no fluffy cats or chubby babies here. That doesn’t mean fluff isn’t allowed, however. I absolutely love fluff with Spamton, and seriously mentally ill people do deserve respect and love like any other person. It’s just very important for me to make the distinction between this and taking care of a child or pet as it comes off as infantilizing and dehumanizing mental illness.

(Addendum that he is also a fictional character in a fantasy series and you can technically do whatever you want, but to many fans he hits close to home as well, and many mentally ill fans who relate to him probably wouldn’t want to be treated like a child or a pet either. When you are saying he is too mentally unstable to be loved, or that he must be taken care of like a child or pet, it might come off to other people that this is how you feel about mentally ill people, regardless of your intent.)

I apologize if I sound sour tonight, and may have misunderstood anything you said, please do clarify. I would like to hear your post-canon interpretations anyhow, even if I might disagree with them (and we can agree to a civil discussion, yes?)