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flowerwiththemachinegun · 2 months

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Very often I think about Sephiroth crawling in my bed and napping. Cause why not? Headcanons for Sephiroth Angeal Cloud Zack +Tseng and Rufus? if they have consistent access to your home. I doubt they’d do anything too invasive…that doesn’t go for Rufus and Tseng

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Zack

haven’t been paying enough attention to him he’s worried about you, you haven’t sent him your routine messages that let him know you made it to work or when you were heading home and that’s just weird. “What could be more important than thinking about me?”

Love him all you want, he’s eating your favorite snacks like a greedy little monster, it doesn’t matter if you buy enough to accommodate both of you. It takes a lot of food to fuel that man’s body, so that just means you started buying more for him to eat in addition to what he already steals right?

Doesn’t really snoop around while you’re gone but if something catches his attention he’s going to investigate. You’ll catch him with something in his hands that you haven’t seen in ages but still claims he doesn’t actually go through your things…sure buddy

Tries to straighten up messes, most of which he makes, but I dunno man. Something about Zack doesn’t scream world’s most tidy man and he doesn’t pay attention to fine detail. It’s the effort that counts right? He’ll at least take your trash out for you and clean up any obvious messes.

Will find him sprawled out on your couch waiting for you to get home, snoring and drooling all over the arm of your sofa…god he’s so fucking adorable and he’s just waiting for you to get home and cuddle him. After all you gave him a key for anything important.

Cloud

Yall know I’m making the “you like krabby patties don’t you squidward” face mhm..anyways are those most definitely your underwear in his hands that he’s so poorly trying to hide behind his back. Not to mention the underwear hanging out of his pocket. “You know Cloud,I heard you were a perv but fuck.”

After that day he didn’t use his key for a while. No, that’s not what he was there for originally. He was waiting for you to get to your home after an argument the two of you had on the phone to speak to you in person. Who knew that in his boredom his feet would led him to your drawers? There wasn’t too much to argue about anymore, not after asking if he wanted the ones on your ass too. He did and he got them off of you personally.

Will also straighten up things he sees in disarray, especially if he knows you like things a particular way. Will also feed and take care of any other needs your pet has if you have one. He gives your pet way more attention in private than he does around you.

The “Oh I fixed it” guy. If he isn’t there by the time you get back there might be a list of miscellaneous items he fixed. Eventually he stops making the lists considering you didn’t even realize what needed fixing and when, knowing that his actions are always appreciated.

Genesis

Because what more of an excuse does he need to freely enter your home than being Genesis? He’s coming to get your attention and recite Loveless to you while creating parallels between you and the words of his beloved epic.

Mad at him? Ignoring him? That’s not going to work, you better take that key back if you really don’t want him in your face. He’s not going to knock, sweet boy is coming straight in to fix whatever turmoil has risen between the two. Sometimes bearing gifts in these moments but he delivers you gifts when you’re not mad at him as well.

Noticed one thing isn’t very tidy, taken in account that perhaps you’ve been too tired or not in the best of moods lately. He’s going to end up cleaning your home just as he would keep his own. It’s the least he can do to help his darling.

Somehow makes your entire home smell like him, it’s like he has a Febreze can of himself that he sprays around the place. It’s just him spraying his cologne everywhere to mark his territory like a cat.

Sets up cute dates for when you arrive. This is especially convenient considering the two of you have such busy/conflicting schedules. Making sure to take care of anything around your home so you can solely focus on unwinding from the events of the day and on him.

Sometimes you’ll come home to fresh flowers sitting on your living room table. Along with a sickly sweet note, a quote from Loveless thrown in, and addressed to “his goddess”.

Angeal (ily break into my home pls I just wanna talk)

The master at taking care of his “beautiful liege”. Originally got a key to your home to pick up some things you needed for work but seeing the disarray of your apartment causes him to pause. It doesn’t bother him but if you needed help being taken care of you should have asked. Poor baby feels bad for not noticing that he needs to take care of you far more than he already does.

Yeah, you actually never got the things you needed for work that day. Only receiving a short text from Angeal claiming he would “be there soon”. Stepping into your home you can’t help but notice that it smells amazing. Beginning your trek to the couch toss your things down you go to step over some books that you swear were going to get picked up two weeks ago. Looking around you can’t help but notice the whole apartment is spotless. No longer able to hold the irritation you held with Angeal for bailing on you earlier, as you realize why he never showed up.

He refuses to give you back “his” your key after this. He won’t enter without your permission of course, even if you’re home, the man’s polite after all. Certainly wont go through your things unlike Cloud and Zack but can often be found curled up in your bed if it takes a while for you to get home.

You already know this man is cooking for you, normally timing when he’ll finish a meal with the time you get home so it’s fresh cause he “needs the best for his baby”. He’ll also do things like having a bath running for you, will join if you want him to, he’ll wash you up himself since you “shouldn’t have to lift another finger today”. Once again due to such a busy and conflicting schedule this is the easiest routine for you two.

Sometimes it seems like he lives there, seemingly spending more time at your place than at his own. Which is just fine with him, home is where his heart belongs, and his heart belongs with you.

Sephiroth (the cutest one idk i usually write my favorite one last but between Angeal, Seph and Rufus+Tseng idk) {After Genesis goes missing to highlight his emotional state}

To say the look on that man’s face was stressed was an understatement. As you walked into his office, immediately asking our dear Sephi what was wrong. Not one to go into too much detail Sephiroth explains he’d just like to be alone. That right now everything is a bit much for him to deal with and he doesn’t want to be found “unless it’s by you”. Prompting you to offer up your apartment, knowing nobody would look for him there.

Hesitant to accept your offer because he doesn’t want to intrude or make himself an inconvenience to you. A statement that makes you roll your eyes because Sephiroth could never be a bother. It doesn’t take much convincing for him take your keys and disappear from the Shinra building.

When you get home Sephiroth you can tell he’s made himself at home. His shirtless form opens the door for you, giving you a quick kiss and asking how your day has been. Noting that he looks a bit more well rested than he did earlier. As you walk around you can kind of tell what he’s been up to, a few of your books are sitting on the couch along with his laptop. Nothing out of the ordinary really, asking what he’s been up to and if he’s feeling better.

Scooping you up in his arms he carries you to the bedroom, stating that he’s just been “waiting for you”. Giggling at the sight of your bed you gawk at him asking “did you make a pillow fort?!” He actually looks a little prideful when he tells you he did and that “the structural integrity is absolutely astounding.” He’ll only let you leave the fort for good reasons, either food or the bathroom seems to be the only things he lets you get up for so far.

In the morning you give him a spare key, telling him to feel free to use it whenever. And that he does, the next day finding him cocooned in your blankets on the couch. The only thing you can see is his beautiful green eyes peeking at you from his nest of blankets. Hiding in your home definitely becomes a routine for him, only going to his own for clothes and whatever other items he may need. Spending a few nights at his own place every so often to give you space (that you never needed he just worries). Just a few nights every so often though cause why does he need to be there “when everything I want is here”

Rufus+Tseng (they’re definitely a package deal, can’t tell me otherwise) ffff-hi Reno you weren’t supposed to be here but my mind has now put you here

You certainly didn’t give these guys access to your home. Walking through your apartment after a long day, to what you thought was going to be a relaxing evening. Instead being greeted by a massive guard hound, well that wasn’t on your schedule but it seemed to get penciled in “what the fuck is that?” You can’t help but spit out, reaching for your pistol only to be interrupted by a foreign voice

“Now don’t be rude Y/N. The things you just got done doing are far more terrifying than my DarkStar.” Your eyes immediately darting around to find the owner of that voice- Who is this pretty blonde fuck sitting on your couch? Legs crossed, arm propped against the arm rest with his head held up by his hand. It’s almost like he’s trying to look as disinterested as possible in…whatever it was they were here for.

Not to mention the guy standing beside him, long black hair pulled back neatly…yeah, that’s just screaming to be pulled. Drawing his weapon the minute you reached for your own, telling you to drop it and to step towards them slowly. As you start taking steps towards the duo your arm is grabbed and being twisted behind your back. Their chest rumbling against your back as they chuckle.

“Oh, this one is so cute. How do we feel about ‘em bossman?” craning your neck to get a look at your assailant, being greeted by a red head with a goofy grin on his face. My god he was easy on the eyes as well. Sporting a suit similar to the raven haired man, his shirt unbuttoned, leaving his chest deliciously exposed. If it weren’t obvious you were in danger you might’ve thought you were in for a treat. Jumping a bit as his other hand starts roaming your body. Letting out a chuckle as Reno speaks stating that he’s “just checking for weapons, ya know how it goes. Unless..” his tone turning flirtatious to be cut off swiftly by Tseng, requesting you take a seat.

Reno, as the gentleman he is, assists you in your seat. All but shoving you down as he leaves his hands resting on your shoulders. You make it clear not to him “mishandle the merchandise” only for him to tell you he “can do better later.” Quickly shutting down the interaction between Reno and yourself finally asking who they were and why they were here. Rufus does a majority of the talking he is the center of attention of course, going into detail about how the Turks have been tracking you for the past year. Going through the list of atrocities you’ve committed along with some pretty damning evidence.

“Wow, you kill a few people and now the government is breaking into your home? I don’t know if this is really warranted.” At that comment you receive a rather pointed glance from Tseng and a raised eyebrow from Rufus. Finally getting to the point after Tseng lectures you on how this is a serious matter and there’s no time to play. They offer you a job with them, “redemption” as Rufus called it. While sure you’re a criminal, you indirectly solved a lot of their problems and you’re the final loose end they needed secured. “Or, you can go back to prison, but this time for the rest of your life.”

Though Tseng made it clear, if you can’t pass their training and be a successful member of the Turks you’ll be going prison anyway. Your smarts and ability to have snuck through the system this long is what got their attention drawn to you, well Rufus’ attention. Tseng thinks picking up “low-life criminals” to join their forces is far below them. Besides, they don’t really need you anyways, they just want you.

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Crying cause I hate I can tell when I first started writing this and when I finally found it and finished. Saving things to drafts seems like a dangerous game I won’t be playing again. I couldn’t think of anything to add to characters I already wrote for. Definitely making the last hc something bigger and is now main priority.

#sephiroth #ff7 #sephiroth x reader #ffvii #final fantasy vii #angeal hewley #Angeal hewley x reader #genesis rhapsodos #genesis rhapsodos x reader #zack fair #zack fair x reader #ff7 crisis core #reno ff7 #rufus shinra #tseng #tseng ff7 #cloud strife #cloud strife x reader #headcanons

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bonefall · 4 months

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how much of Stormpaw’s demon are Maple’s curse vs just things that happen (cause in canon it’s really vague about whether Maple causes all those tragedies or has the ability to see his future for some reason)

EVERYTHING that happens in Stormpaw's Demon involves her. It's not being so dramatically renamed for nothing, she's a major driver and cause of the plot! Crookedstar's young name is in the title; but really, his demon is driving the misfortune.

That said... It's been a while and I'm heavily considering retooling the narrative.

Since I last REALLY worked on it, BB has changed in the sense that I'm a lot more willing to alter canon than I used to be. While my driving mindset used to be "telling a better version of the original story," and that IS a value I still hold... I've lost patience with the misogyny within the original work.

I've spoken at length about the way Crookedstar's Promise grinds my gears (PLEASE follow this link for a full breakdown of why), but in summary; it desperately tries to keep every male character likeable when they shouldn't be, saying nothing about the fact they are complicit in or even enabling abuse, while giving Crookedstar TWO flatly evil maternal figures. Even Brambleberry, who's heavily praised for being "like a mom instead," has a weird moment where she starts giving Crookedjaw the cold shoulder because she finds out he's chatting with a demon.

So like... I'm not sure if I want to make the "better version" of that story. That was the one that I already had, which had Mapleshade be acting entirely out of just the malice of wanting to hurt a child, while Hailstar and Shellheart are the excellent people canon wanted to see them as.

(not that it's even a BAD super edition, it's actually a really good one, but if it's my kitchen that's not what we cook here. Man I really do always massively overhaul my favorite SEs LMAO)

I think, specifically, I want to make Mapleshade slightly more morally gray and Hailstar more of an enabler. Shellheart is getting significantly retooled to make him more of the heartwarming parental figure I think he should be; someone loving to help balance out a very heavy rework.

And of course Brambleberry, I'm going to tweak her some. Try to make her flaws more consistent, get rid of that odd cold shoulder moment.

Old regulars will remember an old AU which is also still a massive favorite of mine; it was called Better Call Mapleshade, and it was kind of a commentary on how an environment can shape a person. Mapleshade, as a demon in heaven, was essentially their best prosecutor and defense attorney.

You can actually see how a lot of ideas from that AU ended up in Better Bones with the expanded trial system! I'm thinking of taking another page out of it, by making Mapleshade more aware of "the game" of Clan culture's structural unfairness, while also using it like a weapon against people she wants to hurt. A powerful demon of revenge.

Under the cut, what won't be changing, the way it was, and Draft 2 of Stormpaw's Demon.

(MASSIVE CONTENT WARNING FOR MENTAL AND PHYSICAL CHILD ABUSE including ableism. BB!Rainflower is WORSE than canon.)

WHAT WON'T BE CHANGING;

These are major details of Stormpaw's Demon that are different from canon. I'm working with these as givens and won't be changing between drafts.

Mapleshade does have a bone to pick with Appledusk's lineage specifically. One option might make her more discerning when it comes to her targets, but no matter what, she is going to have her eyes on this bloodline. She Haunts Applekin.

Rainflower is Hailstar's deputy. And I will make her downfall spectacular. If you were worried I was going to make her more sympathetic then you have no idea who I am LMAO

Shellheart is not Crookedstar's biofather While I want Hailstar to maybe be worse; I do want to fix Shellheart by making him a good parent. I've decided a good way to do this is to make it that Shellheart adopts Storm AFTER he's been abused by Rainflower. He didn't have authority over him before then. In general, I do want him to have a bigger positive role in this narrative. DEPENDING ON WHICH VERSION: Oakheart might also not be his bio-brother.

Crookedjaw is not a cruel name; it's an Honor Title. I've ALWAYS been frustrated by how canon treats scars and injuries as bad things. It's a BATTLE culture. Surviving brushes with death is their WHOLE THING. There is no "crookedkit" or "crookedpaw," he was Stormpaw until he earned his warrior name, with "Crookedjaw" commending the massive lengths he's gone to in order to survive, adapt, and honor StarClan.

Mentor change: Goodbye Cedarpelt, hello Magpiesky! I decided to repurpose one of the Barn Cats! Magpie from the books is a daughter of Perchshine-- the cat who killed Mapleshade. She joined RiverClan long ago. She's actually the one who points him in the way of the barn, and has to train him "as a punishment for teaching him disobedience" when he comes back. I actually have a couple of minor reasons for making this change but I'll spare them for now. He might start with Cedarpelt, but then run to the barn when Cedarpelt is basically refusing to train him properly.

Some family tree shuffles I need to update this tree to show Crookedstar's new situation with Shellheart (and also reflect some other changes I made like confirming Hallowflight fully being Lizardtail's honor title and Robinpaw being the apprentice who gets eaten by Ripwater), BUT, overall this tree is solid.

The ableism Storm faces is going to have a different flavor I have built BB in a way where him surviving his injury would be very respected, but he'd get badly coddled and pushed into early retirement. Him running to the barn is because he suspects he wouldn't have gotten training otherwise.

He kills a fox there because it's Cool. I might give him the tail to wear as a trophy of the kill because that's also Cool. The fox was very old and feeble at that point, which was why it was attacking chickens, but shhh

The Way It Was (Very Evil Mapleshade)

Darkstar's Commandment creating the Queen's Rights, that no queen would ever have to reveal the other parent of their kittens, wasn't enough to appease Mapleshade.

Nor was the damning of everyone that Mapleshade killed. In a fit of irrational fury at all the death, StarClan sent all her victims into the Dark Forest.

But she can't chase them. In the Dark Forest, you don't see someone unless you WANT to see them, not unless you're hanging out in a "land mar" (a sort of personal hell that all demons get).

on the off-chance she does see them, Frecklewish usually rips her to shreds...

Which is the next problem.

You can't DIE in the Dark Forest if you're a demon. You poof back into existence the next day, no injuries, no scars, nothing.

she's bored.

And vengeful. In spite of the wrong being righted, she still thinks she deserves MORE revenge, because what she wanted was really Appledusk.

She finds it unfair that HER legacy is snuffed out, that it's Darkstar's Commandment and not hers, that her babies were destined for greatness and by extension SHE should have been great.

So she takes up a hobby in tormenting Appledusk's descendants. She wants to eradicate them completely, but is spiteful enough that she'll just settle with hurting them.

The first one she managed to kill was Applefrost, Reedshine's son. Just by accident. She didn't know she had such power over the mortal plane.

After that, she managed to drown Duskwater. The daughter.

But she couldn't wipe out HER daughter in that storm... and she brought two more Applekin children into the world.

Stormkit and Oakkit.

So, naturally, Mapleshade turned her sight on the little fuzzball.

He would be an easy kill, in theory. She smashed Stormkit's jaw on the rock, but Oakkit pulled him out.

From there, it's similar to canon for a bit. His recovery is long and painful.

Rainflower is disgusted, and wants absolutely no part of helping him through this process.

That wasn't an injury gained in battle-- it's because he's careless and didn't listen to her. He's going through all this suffering, and for what?

To never become a warrior?

She's cruel to him, begins to neglect and distance herself from him. Discourages him from suckling.

Mapleshade LOVES this. It's worse than she could have imagined. Rainflower is horrible.

Gleefully, she realizes that Stormkit dying now is what Rainflower wants.

So, she kills two other kits in the nursery.

Fallowtail's only survivor is Willowkit, so she has plenty of milk. She starts suckling Stormkit.

(Graypool is now an older sibling! She's actually an apprentice at this time! Later, she encourages Willowkit to visit their father, who decides to just kidnap them completely)

Eventually, being the deputy, Rainflower had some kind of conversation with Hailstar.

During that conversation, she asked him to do something very cruel to Crookedkit.

And Hailstar LOST IT

He's the successor of Volestar, who was appointed by Darkstar herself to uphold the Queen's Rights and protect children.

How DARE you try to turn RiverClan into a place of disrespect?? To use my power this way?!

So, her power was stripped, and Oakkit and Stormkit were taken from her.

From there, Storm eventually goes to the barn as discussed, and Mapleshade continues to do things to hurt him.

This was my first draft, and now having thought about it a lot, I feel like it's not super cohesive. A demonic Mapleshade who's entirely malicious is neat, but I feel like this makes her flat. Shellheart's not tied in super well either, and Hailstar's stand feels kind of hollow because Rainflower hasn't actually used or leveraged the new authority I've given her.

But most egregiously? Rainflower's abuse being so close to canon tastes kind of bland. I feel like I can make it sooo much more intense, complicated, and painful.

Draft 2 of Stormpaw's Demon (Demon of Revenge Update) Essentially an outline for the first few chapters establishing Mapleshade by dealing with Rainflower and then fragments for the rest.

Mapleshade's still malicious, but this time, there's more to it.

Darkstar's Commandment, and the damning of her victims, DID appease this Mapleshade.

But is she satisfied? No.

She doesn't feel like she was wrong at all, actually. Without her killing those three in revenge for her kittens, StarClan's anger probably would have subsided.

She can't hunt her victims down again though, because, they don't want to see her. She fights Frecklewish every now and then but what's the point?

She WON already. She already GOT the euphoria of dragging them all down with her.

Punishing everyone who had ever wronged her was the highlight of her existence... but now it's done.

She's in Hell and she's bored. Her punishment is never seeing her kits again, but more importantly, her punishment is eternal shuffling through the leaf litter when she's SO GOOD at getting revenge.

Problem with revenge is, when you get it, it's gone.

She probably messed with Duskwater and Applefrost a bit, but if she killed one of them, it was accidental. It made her realize that revenge without a motive is just boring.

The prologue would probably open up with establishing her as a character. Who she is, what she wants.

Because the first chapter would dive RIGHT IN to Stormkit. The only child of Rainflower, the deputy.

Right along with Stormkit, you only learn in hindsight that he was born in a storm that killed his grandmother. It's clear that Rainflower reminds him of this often.

And that she's nasty to him. Giving him unclear instruction and finding things to critique, telling him to jump and then barking at him that he didn't ask how high.

She has great expectations for him, and reminds him of their family lineage often. Of who killed his great-grandfather, of what a fantastic pair of warriors Applefrost and Duskwater were

"I lost everything the night you were born. You'd better be able to make up for it."

Unfortunately, Stormkit is not the sort of child who's good at listening to those sorts of orders. He's stubborn and defiant; angry and oppositional.

When he doesn't understand why you do something, he doesn't want to do it

He "embarrasses" her a lot, and gets hurt for it.

In public, these are swats and whacks. The things you're "allowed" to do to discipline your child. In private these are a lot more severe.

So when Stormkit is given an order or a command, he obeys completely out of fear rather than respect. And sometimes he forgets his fear.

The other cats in RiverClan? Well... Stormkit is a problem child, and Rainflower is a fantastic, organized, respected deputy.

Hailstar especially, unfortunately. He feels bad... for Rainflower.

"It must be so hard for her to have such a little brat as a son. He never seems to learn his lesson. When will he stop wandering off? What's wrong with him? He certainly didn't get that from her."

His best friend, Oakkit, gets in the SAME trouble he does.

He's mischievous, fearless, and outgoing, and... never gets punished for it.

There's times where Oakkit does something and Stormkit physically recoils, just imagining what Rainflower would do if HE did something like that. Especially in how Oakkit talks to his dad, Shellheart.

For example, Shellheart will come to get his son for suckling time and Oakkit will tell him to his face things like, "I don't want to! I'm HAVING FUN!"

and shellheart doesn't flip out. He just. explains why it's important to eat on time.

"I know. But Fallowtail wants to go have fun too! She's waiting for you to come and suckle so she can go play."

"Well why can't she just play now and I suckle later?"

"When a suckler is full of milk, it makes their belly very itchy. She's uncomfortable when you don't come and eat on time."

"nnnh"

"Tough sell? How about I sweeten the pile with a badger ride back?"

"Hm. You drive a hard bargain, Mr. Dad."

Stormkit doesn't know why he hates it. He's all angry inside when he sees them acting friendly. He's polite because Oakkit's his best friend and Mr. Shellheart is really nice, but he just...

He's too young at the time to know he's envious. He wants what Oakkit has so badly it hurts.

Sometime after an exchange like that, Stormkit is visited by Mapleshade for the first time.

And they talk about Stormkit's anger and resentment. Stormkit lets it slip that he HATES his Mi.

Waits for Mapleshade to stop him and tell him, like everyone else does, that "she's still your mother."

...but she doesn't.

Besides Oakkit and Shellheart, she's the first person who doesn't tell him that.

She just lets him talk. Lets him go on. Starts making nasty jabs, which make him laugh.

"She says she lost everything the day I was born!!"

"What?! That's crazy! She got you that day!"

"Right?! It's like she's saying I'm nothing! Maybe she SHOULD lose everything, then she'd know what she's got!"

And then she asks, "Do you want her to die?"

Suddenly, there's a chill in the air. He's really shocked by the suggestion of that. He didn't... he didn't mean it to go THAT far. That's not what he meant... is it?

But she's fading back into the shadows, just her eyes visible in the dark. Tells him that she can see he's unsure. That's ok.

Holds up a budding sprig of sycamore, the maple she's named for. Its buds grow in a "deer hoof," with one large bud in the middle and two "toes" sprouting on its sides.

Teaches him that if he needs someone in his corner, all he has to do is call.

(to summon her, a bud is plucked off the sprig and thrown in the river.)

He wakes up with the sprig in his paw, panics, and shoves it under the nest he shares with his mother.

The experience shakes him. He probably ran to Brambleberry for the first time, who explains very seriously that he was contacted by a demon.

From the description... Mapleshade. The cat who killed his great-grandfather.

He BEGS her not to tell Rainflower. PLEADS with her. He can barely hear her already saying yes under the throbbing sound of his heart in his ears.

When he calms down, he hears her saying yes. On the condition she will need to smoke the nursery with sage and cedar, and that he will be needing a bath as well.

When he's still concerned that Rainflower will question him, she makes a plan to distract her for a day, long enough for him to do his cleanse and the smell to fade.

And, of course, that he will not follow any instructions that Mapleshade left him. He agrees. But does not tell Brambleberry about the sprig.

For a while he's very "well behaved." But it's not about him, never has been.

It really doesn't take long at all for Rainflower to get worse. Kids who are defiant like that are usually exercising a defense mechanism-- if they're not aggressive about their boundaries, their limits are pushed to a breaking point.

And after a big blowout like this, which was probably a public spectacle, Stormkit runs back to his nest and digs out the sprig, runs to the river, and throws a bud in the river.

Having calmed down from his shuddering fury, the dread begins to set in as a dead-smelling wind ruffles his fur. He can't help but feel like he just did something very stupid out of anger.

Looking at his reflection, he sees no cuts or swelling. The blows weren't "bad enough." He doesn't have the kind of injuries that anyone would do anything about. Equal parts guilt and frustration swell in him like a tide at full moon. How could he be sitting here wishing she hurt him worse?

So he tries to soften it, "I don't want her to die, I just, I... I just want her to lose everything like she says. Please..."

The wind whispers in his ear, "it will get worse before it gets better."

"I can handle that," he sobs, "I can do anything. Please. Make it stop."

After that, Oakkit probably runs to come find him. Stormkit doesn't want to be found. He makes up a childish plan, on the spot, to run away and join ThunderClan.

Oak says that's mousebrained, but Storm has DEVOTED himself to this plan he made just now.

And is crossing the stones.

Oak sighs, but if Storm's going to ThunderClan, he should really go with him because then they could totally fight off a small fox (Childish hubris)

Unfortunately, Rainflower found them. asks Exactly What He's Doing.

The kids freeze. Stormkit in particular has that horrible, twisting anxiety that you get when you hear The Tone that means you're in for an absolute wallop when you get home.

He's about to start running, but then the voice tickles his ear-fur again. Mapleshade tells him to go back. It'll be ok. She's on his side. She'll make her pay.

Oakkit is still frozen in place when, as if possessed, Storm's body stiffly returns to his mother.

There's a silence. The river trickling through the stepping stones. Storm looking with fear and anger up at her.

She's waiting for an apology, groveling. He doesn't give her one.

So she raises her paw and gives him an awful, hard blow.

His little body twists, flung off balance, trying to correct himself, and he can swear he felt paws pushing him a second time, whipping him downwards.

The feeling of falling fills his stomach, the water sloshes into his ears before there's a ring of a sound like CLUNK-CRUNCH, and then the river floods his nose and mouth.

It all goes dark.

When he wakes up, it's with a throbbing pain in the side of his jaw so intense that he can feel it all the way down in the tip of his tail. He learns from Brambleberry that Oakkit rescued him-- jumped right into the water to pull him out. And then Rainflower pulled him out. That was when Shellheart came and found them.

There's a LOT of arguing outside, but Storm can't ask what it is because it hurts to move his mouth at all. Brambleberry hushes and soothes him, telling him it's nothing he needs to know about.

(MEDICAL INFODUMPING: i do actually have a medical reason I want his injury to come from someone hitting him which causes him to fall. The injury he'd get in canon would actually be a really simple and common split in the front of the mandible, which wouldn't cause his mouth to have a dramatic twist and would heal very easily. He needs to come down on the rock at an angle to shatter the joint like that.)

From here, the tune about Stormkit starts to change.

Oakkit was distraught when they got back, telling everyone that Rainflower smashed him against a rock.

Rainflower's story is that he was running, and she chased after him. EVERYONE knows that he has a habit of doing this.

Then HE slipped and fell and hit his face on the rocks. His fault.

Oakkit was running away with him, he's lying.

Shellheart is FEROCIOUSLY taking the side of his son, furious that she would imply he raised a liar.

Hailstar is taking the side of Rainflower. It's two troublemaking kits against his deputy.

Yes, Rainflower's disciplined him before, but that's no indication she'd do something like this on purpose.

Brambleberry weighs in that the injury that Stormkit has isn't the sort of injury a kitten gets from hitting his jaw. The bone is shattered.

probably does some kind of visual to go along with it, using a stick and a stone

"The bones of a kitten are like the young shoots of a tree. When they fracture," she takes a young twig and snaps it in her paws. The fibers in the center are bent but unbroken, with the bark splintered around them, "they flay but don't snap."

She places the stick on the ground, "So for the injury that Stormkit has," and violently smashes the rock down onto it. It's shattered and pulped, the fibers flattened, "there would need to be a great force."

Shellheart hisses, saying that THIS is the evidence. Oakkit's story is consistent but Rainflower HAS to have lied.

Several cats are now on his side.

...But more are on Rainflower's.

"She's his mother. She loves him. Oakkit has to be mistaken."

"Why would she chase down her own son just to smash his face on a stone?"

"She wouldn't pull them out of the river if she really wanted to hurt him!"

Hailstar prompts if there's ANYTHING else that could explain this?

It comes up that Brambleberry cleansed the dens the other day.

She says that it's possible there is a demon's influence at work. She can't know for sure which one it is-- but it may have a grudge against Rainflower.

She allows them to reach the conclusion that it's probably Mapleshade on their own. She will be talking to Crookedkit when he's able, but she's not about to tell anyone about his dream yet.

She doesn't want him to have the extra scrutiny when he needs to rest and heal, but if she'd shared that an unnamed cat had a demonic dream, it would set off panic as cats accused each other of dark magic.

Rainflower manages to escape consequences by pointing out that it was likely Mapleshade that injured her son.

Oakkit is still trying to tell everyone SHE did it, he SAW it, Stormkit walked back and she hit him and smashed his jaw on the rock

But he's hushed. It's decided there's not enough evidence. And not enough reason to doubt the noble deputy.

She's never done something like this before, after all. It's more likely it was an accident.

There is a group of cats that are dissatisfied about this, though, and it only grows when Brambleberry explains that Stormkit's prognosis is not good.

There is a very high chance he will die. Even adult warriors can wither slowly from this sort of injury.

Recovery will be slow and it will be painful.

...but after that incident? Rainflower gets bolder. She got away with it in public. She got a taste of the leverage she has, how much they trust her.

Stormkit spends a lot of time floating in between his dreams and his living-world pain. There's at least one interaction where he speaks to Mapleshade, screaming at her that he TRUSTED her, he KNOWS she's the one who hurt him! How could she?!

She can't say much, kept at bay by a hazy smokescreen of sage. "You must live! You must survive!"

Her old words echo in his head; It Will Get Worse Before It Gets Better.

Throughout the recovery, Rainflower grows more cruel and more distant.

In public she likes to talk about how difficult this is for her, but he's strong, he will survive.

In private, she'll do things that hurt him, like repositioning his head in a way that "his jaw will heal better in." When he cries, she's unsympathetic.

"You brought this on yourself. This is for your own good."

Her definition of "private" is also changing. She's getting more comfortable with snapping at him in front of limited groups of people.

Since she's deputy, the other two parents in the nursery, Shellheart and Fallowtail, do their best to care for Stormkit while she's away. He's pulled away from them when she gets back, any ideas or suggestions they have vetoed.

When they try to go to Brambleberry about this, she shakes her head with frustration and tries to make them understand she knows... and she's just as unhappy with it as they are.

She tells them she keeps going to Hailstar, but he's still hesitant. Even though she's trying to tell him that Stormkit's recovery is being undermined.

"Rainflower's son has always needed tough love. She's his Mi and knows him best... she's still taking care of him. Give her a warning before suggesting anything drastic."

In the other draft, I had Mapleshade kill two of Fallowtail's kits to free up milk for Stormkit. I'm not sure I need that anymore honestly, plus, this rework's heavy enough! She can just have Willowkit without any deaths, while Graypaw remains an older sibling.

When Brambleberry informs Rainflower and Stormkit that the jaw isn't healing straight and it will probably be at an angle forever, Rainflower reacts with disdain.

"His first scar and it's nothing he earned?!"

She's reminded he might not even survive. He's lost weight. He's eating less. Stormkit curls up quietly. He hates how they talk about him like he can't hear them.

"Surviving is the bare minimum," she scoffs reflexively. There's a silence so thick you can cut it with a claw. After an uncomfortable heartbeat, she continues, "What kind of a life will he live if he-"

"a life," Brambleberry cuts in, "he'd live a life. And it can be a good one"

Rainflower growls, spitting that the twisted jaw is a disfigurement. He'll never be able to open his mouth all the way. He can't chew and he can't suckle forever. Stormkit will never become a warrior if he can't even dispatch a fish with a killing bite.

"Scars are the sign that StarClan has mended our bodies after fighting a good fight, making any Clanborn cat worthy of being an elder" Brambleberry preaches, "Names are what mark us, calling upon our ancestors to look down at us and witness our actions, Rainflower. Don't say anything you wouldn't want them to see."

Rainflower flicks her ear, seething, a rumble in her throat, "was that some kind of threat? As if I've said something wrong?"

"If you feel threatened, look within."

Stormkit resents all of this talk. He can feel his mother tensing up next to him, hears the low rumble progressing into a growl. When adults play stupid games with his mom, he's always the one who ends up dealing it. Why don't they get that?

It's only Shellheart who seems to have it click, "Hey, this is the nursery. Can you take it outside, please?"

As Brambleberry and Rainflower leave, Stormkit lays curled up in his nest, cold and alone. Oakkit leaves Shellheart's paws to curl up around his best friend.

Shellheart stares at them, shifting, but ultimately stays where he is.

There's a lot of words I could write there, between Storm and Oak. Ones where Storm speaks about how he just wants the pain to be done with. Others where Oak comforts him, tells him how much he means to him. More where they end up running into the wall that they're just two little kids and they've both learned the truth that they have no control over what happens when Rainflower comes back into that den.

But I think it would be good to end there, at the lowest point. Because it gets better.

Pissed off by being gently confronted, after her warning from Brambleberry, this is the moment where Rainflower goes too far.

Hailstar is gradually losing his patience. Every time this issue comes up, he's making some kind of new excuse for her.

She's still a competent deputy who holds the Clan together, but this has taken a toll on her reputation.

Her biggest mistake was becoming more open with her abuse after being emboldened. And I think Hailstar is beginning to feel like he's got "egg on his face."

After standing up for Rainflower several times, getting heat from Brambleberry, and now the Clan also starting to murmur...

It's getting very difficult to justify why he's sticking his neck out.

and maybe, part of him is starting to feel a little self-conscious about the way that his deputy is acting about her injured child.

When she comes storming up on this fateful day, interrupting whatever he was doing to make a proposition, it's the breaking point.

Her suggestion: "I've realized that there's only one way to ensure my son survives his injury. He's being haunted by our demon, which only started threatening him when he disobeyed me for the last time. WE need to teach him a lesson, and make sure StarClan gazes down upon him to acknowledge his mistakes."

"...how do you intend to do that?"

"Stormkit must be given a Dishonor Title."

A Dishonor Title, one of the greatest shames that a leader can put onto one of their warriors. A punishment that ranks just below exile in terms of severity.

"you want to put a dishonor title... on your child? one with a life-threatening injury?"

"One that acknowledges his carelessness. To protect him from the demon."

Protect him from the demon. "I see now what must be done."

Previously, I'd thought of Hailstar as someone who would be loud and merciless when he does this. Now I'm thinking it was something he put a lot of thought into. He stands up, brushes past her, and goes to talk to some of his most trusted cats. Brambleberry, his mate Echomist, an experienced warrior such as Piketooth or Ottersplash, and lastly, Shellheart.

So it's not a surprise to anyone but Rainflower herself. He doesn't want this to be dramatic. He doesn't want it to be another big scene. Stormkit has gone through enough.

When he eventually has this Clan meeting, he calls it quietly. In his address to the gathered cats, a crowd that Shellheart and his family are missing from at his request, he says that his greatest regret is that he didn't do this sooner. He even doubts that Mapleshade is haunting her at all-- now having seen her behavior, he says it's more likely that Rainflower bashed her own child against a rock and simply lied.

First, he announces that Stormkit will be removed from her care. He will no longer be of the Applekin bloodline.

She is banned from the nursery at the request of Fallowtail, and will only see Stormkit when supervised by his new Mi, Shellheart.

Brambleberry has already agreed to this necessity, and is performing a ritual so that StarClan may approve of this choice.

He also strips her of her deputyship, and appoints Ottersplash instead. (I might change this to a different deputy eventually)

Not everyone agrees with Hailstar. There's an uproar from Rainflower's supporters.

She was a VERY popular deputy.

More that are just uneasy, feeling that this was a BRUTAL punishment that she didn't deserve.

Lots are happy and optimistic, though. But the mixed reception is exactly why Hailstar asked Shellheart not to be here.

This isn't something Stormkit has to deal with right now.

When Darkstar herself, who created the Queen's Rights, was on her last life, she appointed Volestar to uphold the law as her legacy knowing that Oakstar might try to break it again.

Volestar appointed Hailstar, in the hopes that he would uphold her legacy in turn, to protect kittens and those who can't protect themselves.

He was late, and can only hope he was not too late. He hopes that Volestar can forgive him for that.

Meanwhile in the nursery, Shellheart, Oakkit, and Stormkit are alone, far in the back, where the padded moss keeps out arguing voices.

Oakkit, bless his little heart, is babbling with excitement because his best friend is his BROTHER now. And it's gonna be THE BEST.

He's talking about how it's fine he can't chew because now they can have soup, and they're going to make the nest bigger, and they can stay up later because they can whisper quieter if they're this close together

But Storm doesn't really hear him. His head's swimming, thinking about the dull ache in his jaw, how MAD his mom's going to be because he can't imagine her not finding a way to hurt him, how this is all his fault because he called Mapleshade.

He can't stop it anymore and starts sniffling, which turns into weeping. Still, he's TRYING not to bawl, knowing, knowing he looks stupid when he does that

Shellheart just pulls him in close, so he can bury his face in his fluffy chest. Tells him it's going to be ok. He's safe now. No one can hurt him there.

Not on his watch.

Unfortunately, it's not the last he sees of Mapleshade. After this...

Mapleshade shows him everything she did for him. Yes, she did smash his jaw-- but it was to get him away from his mother.

And she planted an idea here and there, just little whispers into Rainflower's ear. Nothing she wouldn't do all on her own.

And now... Mapleshade believes she's earned some respect.

Stormkit can't disagree... she did exactly what she told him she'd do.

And now that he's not Applekin anymore, they can be Real Friends. They could even strike up a partnership, of sorts. After all, what did StarClan do to help him?

It wasn't StarClan that answered his prayers.

I'm still figuring out what, exactly, she's going to want from him. I have a scintilla that she wants to give him a life, maybe as some kind of bridge to StarClan to see her kits?

Some strange "attempt" at redemption, perhaps? Which she ultimately doesn't get.

Not that she didn't enjoy doing all that for love of the game, mind you. She's very good at getting revenge and it's fun and exciting to pull it off.

But hey, if you're good at something, never do it for free.

What causes Mapleshade to ultimately turn, and begin haunting the bloodline again + Oakheart, is Crookedstar rejecting her in some way.

She comes to collect on her end of the bargain and he refuses, breaking their partnership. He chooses StarClan.

And then from there, it's ON again. Now she has another EXCUSE to do what she wanted to do, and take out her boredom and malice on his family.

This time, it includes Oakheart as well-- because he was Crookedstar's brother.

It was also her curse that harmed Willowbreeze and eventually Silverstream. She's on the warpath.

Maybe she actually helped make him leader on purpose. Like he explicitly asked so she helped him by making the squirrel omen, instead of just doing it for him unprompted. Still figuring it out.

Shortly after the scene where Stormkit cries, he needs to have a confrontation with Brambleberry about Mapleshade I think. She needs to explain why Dark Forest demons are seen as bad.

She's biased, of course, but it's not like she's TOTALLY wrong either. Cats like Mapleshade ARE vengeful, in ways many other spirits are not.

If you're curious, Crookedstar's dishonor title from Rainflower would have been something comparing him to a parasite and referencing his ""accident"" like Fleaskip or Midgefall.

The point she's trying to make with the Dishonor Title is that her son is an annoying bug who didn't listen, as well as subtly erase she fact she knocked him off that rock.

She wanted his name to say "everything that happened was my fault and my mom did nothing wrong"

Not that Hailstar got as far as even asking lmao

#better bones au #Stormpaw's Demon #BB!Crookedstar #BB!Shellheart #BB!Oakheart #BB!Mapleshade #BB!Rainflower #Cw child abuse #tw child abuse #cw physical abuse #tw physical abuse #cw emotional abuse #tw emotional abuse #Stormpaw's Demon Draft 2

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fandomsnrambles · 6 months

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The spinjitzu family has recently become my roman empire for some reason, you’re all going to see so much of them 😭

Anyway, i’ve been thinking about his relationships with his sons recently. And I know he doesn’t have a good relationship with any of them.

I know people argue ‘Wu was his favourite’ but i think if we actually look at how he acts, you realise he didn’t really have a favourite. I also feel personally inclined to respectfully mention that just because Garmadon said it, doesn’t make it true. Characters have biases that mess with their worldviews after all. It’s like saying Wu’s to blame for the devourer’s bite because he said he was. Even though he was like seven, maybe nine and had no idea that snake even existed.

Thats why you should take everything they say with a grain of salt and then consider their actions.

Wu’s relationship with his father is complicated. In the spinjitzu books he mentions how he wants his father’s approval, but doesn’t know how to start with getting it. We also get hints of the FSM’s (flawed) parenting methods in the show. I’ve noticed he’s emotionally distant even if he’s physically there. I mean, Wu says his father talked to them (Garmadon and Wu) less after the Aspheera incident. Makes me think that the FSM was definitely not there emotionally.

Due to this, Wu’s emotional needs as a child weren’t really met. His fathers distance hurt him and the FSM (maybe accidentally) neglected him. I say accidentally because i’m pretty sure the FSM is a traumatised child soldier who doesn’t know how to properly cope with everything so they just shut down/dissociate.

Wu was also raised with high expectations (alongside Garmadon.) This probably put him under a lot of stress to keep up. I’m thinking gifted child who got burnt out and more depressed as he aged.

I also think the FSM has trust and paranoia issues. You can look at Nineko and the way they went about dying for this. This guy really hands their son a script of where he died without telling him he gave it to him and mentions the bare minimum details. (I wonder if mentioning too much details got the FSM hurt. Maybe thats why he’s so distant.) Of course, trauma doesn’t really excuse being a flawed parent.

I also feel the need to mention that Wu unintentionally copies his father’s trauma responses. Heck, we could even talk about how Garmadon does the same, and later Lloyd. They all bottle their emotions and issues and hope nothing bad ever happens with that ever. Too bad for them though, we know how this ends

(Oof this is ✨generational trauma✨ at work)

Moving on to Garmadon, we know that after he got bitten by the devourer, the FSM helped him through his episodes and tries his best to find a cure. From this i can honestly say that the FSM did love and care for his sons. But this doesn’t mean they knew how to properly show that they did (especially because he doesn’t have a proper basis for what parent-child relationships should even look like.)

We see this when we get to know of Garmadon’s insecurities as a child. He doesn’t think there was anything wrong with him and seems to hate how the FSM tries to find a cure for him. Maybe because he doesn’t like the implication that he needs ‘fixing’ more than anything else. Garmadon’s also different than Wu in the sense that he grows more resentful of his father as he grows older whilst Wu clings to his father’s attention to get approval/praise.

I also want to mention how this resentment built up also affects how his perception of Wu’s relationship with their dad. He thinks Wu is favoured probably because Wu doesn’t have the venom and is the good one (because the venom apparently makes Garmadon the ‘bad’ one) and he sees his younger brother as the golden child. This probably built to jealousy and then guilt for the jealousy because Garmadon does love his brother a lot.

The high expectations also come’s into play here. It probably puts a lot of weight on Garmadon’s shoulders. Which doesn’t make his growing feelings of resentment better nor does it make his insecurities about his venom any better.

What makes this whole situation worse is that NO ONE in this family knows how to communicate. Wu doesn’t tell his dad or his brother how he feels, Garmadon doesn’t as well and FSM wouldn’t be caught breathing a word of his feelings to be honest.

This whole family would rather die than communicate ffs.

In conclusion:

#ninjago #sensei wu #lego ninjago #ninjago wu #lord garmadon #ninjago garmadon #ninjago lloyd #kinda? hes mentioned #master wu #sensei garmadon #garmadon #ninjago fsm #fsm ninjago #first spinjitzu master #ninjago first spinjitzu master #btw i hc he/they pronouns for the fsm #along with aroace #spinjitzu brothers

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callalillywrites · 2 months

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Bucky’s Best Man

This whole fic came about from this question posed by the fabulous @navybrat817. While I still stand behind the choices I gave originally, I'm currently sitting in an age of pre-serum Steve feels. Thus, the reason this story came to be.

Pairing: Modern Day!Pre-serum Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: ~3800

Summary: Nat and Bucky decide to set up their two best friends by making them their best man and maid of honor. It's not until their wedding that you two officially meet.

Warnings: mostly fluff, some insecurity on Steve's part, flustered Steve and reader at various parts

A/N: This is all written in a practical fever dream of fluff. Hopefully, it's still coherent. It’s proofread but all mistakes are my own.

I do not give permission for my work to be copied or posted on other sites or fed into an AI machine.

*****

“Someone’s smiling pretty hard over there,” Nat teased. Her glass barely hid her smile as she nodded toward your phone. “Who’s the lucky guy that’s gotten you to smile like that? It’s been a while since you’ve smiled like this. It’s nice.”

Your cheeks heated, but you didn’t attempt to lie as you said, “Bucky’s friend.”

“Oh, you mean, his best man, Steve. That friend, right?” Nat asked, leaning forward. You definitely had her attention then. “When did this come about?”

You let out a giggle, shaking your head at her. “You gave him my number, remember? What do you mean when did this come about? You made it pretty clear that he and I would be working together to give you and Bucky the best wedding.”

“And what are we thinking about him, hm? I could guess by your smile, but I want to hear all the juicy details. So spill already.”

Over the next few minutes, you told her everything you knew about Steve from your texts and phone calls. He’d been so sweet at first, asking advice on how to handle his duties as a best man. That didn’t stop him from also checking in with you about handling all your duties as maid-of-honor. The thought he wanted to help you if he could or at least hear you vent had really helped you over the past few months.

It wasn’t like Nat was a bridezilla or anything. Far from it, but you had found some of your duties bothersome. The florist had tried to price gouge them despite the simple designs and few pieces needed to set up the reception’s venue. Then, there’d been the logistics of getting all the girls of the wedding party and other friends of Nat’s together for her bachelorette party a week ago.

Steve had listened to it all, never trying to step in and fix it. You could tell the urge was there based on the way his voice changed over the phone. But he didn’t. He just let you vent and offered you what comfort he could through the phone.

You’d done the same when he called about figuring out what to do for Bucky’s bachelor party. Most of the ideas he could find online didn’t sound all that appealing to him or Bucky, but he’d wanted to give Bucky that right of passage before the wedding. It’d been you to suggest a weekend camping trip or something a bit sportier for Bucky and his Howler friends.

The sweet relief in Steve’s tone had sent the butterflies fluttering in your middle. Oh, you liked how much he could affect you, and you’d yet to meet him face-to-face.

Every time you tried to set that up, something would come up.

It never dawned on you that other powers worked against you and Steve meeting up before the wedding.

By the end of your tale, Nat sank back into her seat with a pleased expression of her own. Without a hint of reservation, she declared, “You’re falling in love with Steve, aren’t you?”

You shook your head.

The thought was impossible, but then again, was it really?

Sure, you hadn’t seen what he looked like, but then, looks had never truly impressed you. Well, that wasn’t the whole truth, either. You didn’t care for some of the more conventional looks that deemed someone attractive. No, you looked for things about a person that others might not necessarily notice at first.

With Steve, you didn’t have to know what he looked like to know that he was your type. He had a subtler sense of humor though he had some sassier moments with you at times. His voice never failed to soothe away the roughness of a day whenever you talked. The way he texted might be a bit on the old-fashioned side, but he never left you in doubt about the tone of his words. He always liked to be crystal clear, so no misunderstandings happened, possibly hurting your feelings or souring your mood.

At last, you admitted, “I don’t know. Maybe. He’s not like anyone I’ve dated before, and we’re not even dating. I mean, I don’t even know if he likes me as anything more than an acquaintance helping him out.”

“You know,” Nat paused long enough to ensure she had your attention, “I could always ask Bucky if Steve talks about you. Then, you’d know one way or another.”

“No, please don’t. I can wait until your wedding to learn one way or another. Just a few more days, right?”

Nat nodded, her smile softening with fondness. No doubt her mind drifted to thoughts of Bucky while she played with the engagement ring on her finger. It gleamed in the sunlight. It took her a moment to come back to you. “Sorry. Yeah, a few more days. Who knows? Maybe it won’t be long before we’re planning a wedding for you and Steve if you two hit it off.”

“Maybe we should just wait and see how our first face-to-face goes,” you said, laughing and holding up your hands. “No sense getting ahead of ourselves. Steve and I should probably try being friends first before we jump to the idea of dating, let alone marriage.”

“You change your mind before Saturday, let me know.”

*****

You didn’t change your mind.

Saturday rolled around, bright and clear. A beautiful day for the wedding of your best friend and her fiancé.

You, Nat, and the other ladies headed to the wedding’s venue early. The limo Nat rented nearly burst at the seams between dresses, ladies, makeup bags, and everything else you might need. Not that the tight squeeze bothered any of you as you talked and joked on your way.

The venue’s director had almost everything complete by your arrival, which made it easier for you all to dash into the bridal suite.

While the ladies quickly changed into their gowns, you took charge of working on their hair and makeup, starting with Nat.

You were making decent progress until a commotion from the main area grabbed your attention.

“Excuse me,” you said and hurried from the room.

You’d taken one step into the main area when something small but solid slammed into you. Your arms flailed to keep you upright, but it wasn’t in your cards to stay on your feet. A hard smack to your behind was your reward for your spectacular failure to save yourself.

“Ow.” You winced when you shifted to get up.

“Wow, we’re so sorry,” one of Bucky’s Howler friends said. His hand stretched out between you, his face pulling tight with concern and contrition. “We didn’t see you there.”

“Obviously.” You chuckled, hoping it would help lessen their guilt for knocking you over. “Nothing’s broken at least, so no harm done.”

Back on your feet, you spared the man who’d knocked you over with what appeared to be a small barrel of something. The man sported a thick mustache across his lip, which he gnawed at without seeming to realize it as he watched you and what you might do next.

“Dum Dum, you better not hurt my girl’s best friend. She will whoop you,” Bucky called, coming closer to the two of you as you continued to swipe at the invisible dust covering your bottom. His voice softened as he asked, “You okay, Sweets?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I’m fine.”

“Go help Steve finish unloading the truck, Dugan. I’m going to escort this beautiful lady back to the bridal suite.”

The mischievous gleam that entered Bucky’s gaze had you holding up your hands. You bit back your laughter at how fast his face shifted into a pout, knowing he’d been thwarted. “I’m fine to get back on my own. You know full well you’re not seeing the bride until the ceremony. So, get your butt in the groom’s suite and start getting ready. Got that, mister?”

“People should call you Sergeant Sweets,” he quipped though he did as you bid.

You simply shook your head at him.

It was only as you were turning to head back that you caught sight of the figure standing in the doorway leading to the parking lot. At first, you might’ve mistook the man standing there for a teenager, but you soon dismissed the notion. His bearing spoke of years beyond what his silhouette implied.

When he stepped further into the venue’s main area, your breath caught.

This man might be slight of stature, but he was no less handsome. His blonde hair had a bit of length that called you to comb your fingers through it, just to see if you could muss it. His cheeks held a bit of stubble while his hands had smudges of what might be pencil dust or charcoal. You couldn’t be sure.

It was his eyes that really caught your attention when he got close enough. Not only did the blueness of his eyes draw you in until you could make out the smallest flecks of green. His long eyelashes called to you, whispering promises of butterfly kisses. Oh, you always loved the thought of butterfly kisses coming from the one you loved and truly loved you in return.

Hoping your staring hadn’t put him off, you offered him a warm smile and a tiny wave.

He mimicked your motions though his cheeks tinted with a lovely shade of pink.

Before you could say anything, one of the bridesmaids came and pulled you urgently back to the bridal suite.

You could only hope that you would see the handsome guy again. Getting his name would be your main mission if you got a second chance.

*****

There was no way for you to know that the guy you’d seen grew preoccupied with thoughts of you while slowly getting ready in the groom’s suite.

He’d known you would be there. You were the maid of honor, but nothing could’ve prepared him for that first sight of you.

Your laugh had been the first thing he’d heard as he neared the venue’s front doors. It drew him in as much as it did during your rather frequent phone calls together. He wanted to hear it and often. It wasn’t unheard of for him to try and make you laugh, especially after you vented about your day to him. He needed to hear your laugh to make his days that much brighter.

Then, he’d heard your voice as you spoke with Dum Dum Dugan. To say he was floating would’ve been an understatement. Your voice had been a melody he used to fall asleep for weeks now. He never wanted to not go a day without hearing it. He should’ve felt more like a creep for loving your voice as much as he did.

Oh, man, he wished he’d been better prepared.

A small part of him thrilled at seeing how much Dugan towered over you. Not in a threatening way as Dugan wouldn’t ever, of course. You certainly didn’t seem afraid of Dum Dum though Bucky had quickly intervened to ensure you were okay.

No, it was the fact he could tell that you maybe stood within an inch of his height. You came up to about the same spot he did when standing near Dugan and even Bucky. He wouldn’t have to necessarily worry about you hating him for being too much shorter than you. A fact that had kept him out of the dating scene for a while.

What really sucker-punched him though was your smile.

Oh, to have you smile at him would be…

It would be a dream come true if he were being honest.

He’d fallen for you over the weeks of phone calls and texts. If he could have a slither’s hope of a chance with you, then he would be the world’s happiest guy.

He –

“What’s up with you, punk?” Bucky asked, fixing his tie in the large mirror taking up much of one wall. “You’ve been quiet since you walked in here.”

At first, Steve debated answering, but then decided to speak up. “Do you believe in love at first sight, Buck?”

Bucky’s hands stilled as he turned to face his best friend. A smirk flashed across his face as he asked, “Someone finally caught your attention, huh? Who’s the lucky lady?”

Unknown to Steve, Bucky could only hope Steve had taken one look at you and fallen for you. He’d been working so hard to make sure you two didn’t meet until today with some help from Nat. The two of you hadn’t had much luck in the love department. He’d wanted someone who could love Steve as much as he loved Nat while Nat wanted the same for you. After a little bit of discussion, it dawned on him and Nat that you two might be perfect for each other. Then, the matchmaking began, starting with asking you two to play best man and maid of honor. It ended with this ultimate moment of reveal.

Steve’s soft voice broke through Bucky’s thoughts as he said your name.

“I don’t even know if she’s interested in me, Buck. I’m not what most women want. Why would she be any different? As much as I might want her to be, it would be stupid to get my hopes up, right?”

“You think the woman you’ve been texting and talking to almost every night is going to care what you look like? Did she ever give you any indication that she’d care?”

Steve frowned at that, then shook his head. “No, but come on, Buck. This isn’t a fairy tale we’re living in. I’m not exactly meant to win the heart of a princess.”

“Listen to me, punk,” Bucky dropped his hands on top of Steve’s shoulders, “Sweets is the kind of woman to see into a guy’s heart and judge him based on his character, not for the way he looks. I can guarantee she’ll give you a chance if you have the courage to ask for it. Promise me you’ll take that chance with her.”

As much as Steve wanted to drop this discussion entirely, he opened the door. There would be no shutting it now that Bucky had stepped in and insisted on a promise from him.

At last, he nodded. “Fine. I’ll ask her. If she says no, then you’re going to buy me several rounds once you’re back from your honeymoon. Got it, jerk?”

“If she turns you down, I’ll buy you a whole bar.” Bucky grinned before going back to work on getting ready. His gaze met Steve’s over his shoulder in the mirror. “But I’m confident she’s going to say yes.”

*****

Before you knew it, the ceremony was set to begin.

You managed to stave off the disaster you’d been pulled to handle. Then, you got yourself ready for Nat’s big day, taking special care with your makeup and hair.

Within minutes, you would be walking behind the other bridesmaids with Steve at your side. A part of you really hoped that Steve was the guy you’d seen in the main area before you’d been pulled away. Your luck had never been all that great though.

More likely, he was a guest who’d shown up early or possibly a worker for the venue who’d wandered in. That last option didn’t sound quite so plausible, but you couldn’t be sure. You’d seen several of their employees flitting around both the interior and exterior the few times you’d joined Nat for her meetings with the director.

“Hey, girl, let’s get moving. I’ve got a groom waiting for me,” Nat said, giving you a push toward the door of the bridal suite.

The bridesmaids and flower girl had already left the room, taking up their places.

Nat smirked at you. “The way you’re looking, you’d think you were the nervous bride. Should I be worried about you?”

You quickly shook your head.

“Then, let’s do this. You don’t want to keep Steve waiting any longer than you have to. If you’re not careful, he’s liable to be snapped up by one of the guests, then where will you be?”

A reluctant smile flitted across your lips before you straightened your shoulders and took that first step towards the door.

The hallway wasn’t quite as crowded as you feared it might be. Several of the bridesmaids had already begun their journey down the carpeted path leading to the altar at the front of the venue. Only two stood and waited their turns with their respective groomsman.

A lone figure fidgeted near the split-off for the groom’s suite. The same figure you’d seen earlier.

Hope ignited within you at the sight of him.

His gaze bounced up as you neared him, his eyes widening a bit.

Oh, the blue really did have a bit more green in them than you initially thought they did. So beautiful with the way his suit really made those small flecks stand out.

The smile you gave Nat before leaving the bridal suite returned full force.

“Steve?” you asked softly, hoping not to spook him.

He nodded, saying your name like a question as well.

“It’s nice to finally put a face to your beautiful voice,” you said, your cheeks heating behind your makeup.

The pink you’d seen earlier returned while he ducked his head. You mourned the loss of his eyes though you did get another view of his long, feathered lashes. So, you couldn’t (and wouldn’t) complain.

He finally said, “I feel like I should be the one saying that.”

“You can if you’d like. I certainly won’t stop you.”

To your astonishment, the pink deepened though you caught sight of the upward curve of his mouth. He liked your gentle teasing, or at least, that’s what you hoped. Surely, fate wouldn’t be so cruel as to tease you with this man at your side, only to have him not like you as much as you’d come to like him.

He didn’t get the chance to say anything as you’d reached the end of the aisle. You both took your proper places at the altar with Nat close behind you.

Soon, she stepped up next to you, handing over her bouquet to take Bucky’s hands instead. She shot you a quick wink and a nod at Steve. If she could’ve gotten away with a thumbs up, she probably would’ve done it.

You could only shake your head at her. Amusement rolled through you even as you snuck a few discreet glances in Steve’s direction. Your gazes met as the officiant finally announced Bucky could kiss his bride, declaring them husband and wife.

Steve’s arm came out as Bucky led Nat back down the aisle towards the partitioned area that would also serve as their reception area.

You took it without hesitation, allowing him to take the lead.

While you couldn’t say you weren’t disappointed that you two weren’t assigned seats side by side, you were happy that he wasn’t situated too far from you.

In fact, Bucky and Nat made it a point to stay on the dance floor long after their first dance to give you both a chance to talk. Neither of them missed the way you and Steve looked at one another. They were beyond happy to see the successful results of their matchmaking attempts.

You even managed to get Steve out on the dance floor for a slow dance or two. His two left feet didn’t bother you, working with him to relax enough to enjoy swaying to the music.

Conversation slowly began to flow effortlessly between the two of you as the evening wore on.

The only darkness that loomed over the evening was Steve’s continued failure to ask you out for a real date.

You kept waiting and waiting for him to make a move. Hint after hint, you dropped in the hopes he’d take the initiative.

He never did.

When the reception came to an end, you gave up all hope. Steve simply wasn’t interested while you’d come to realize that you could find yourself really falling for him. If only he’d give you a chance, then you could possibly make him fall for you, too.

Dum Dum came up to Steve after Bucky and Nat drove off, ready to kickstart their wedding night. He offered Steve a ride home, which Steve accepted.

“I had a really nice time,” he said softly, almost shyly.

You couldn’t help the genuine smile that settled over your lips. “I did, too. Not sure I really want the night to end, but I guess it has to.”

“Let’s go, Rogers,” Dum Dum called out.

Steve glanced at the Howler and grimaced. “I guess I should go. Thank you for everything. I get why Bucky calls you Sweets. You’re the sweetest woman I’ve ever met.”

“It’s easy with a gentleman like you. If you ever want to talk or something, you can always call,” you said after gathering the last shreds of your courage. This was your last chance, and you wanted to put the ball on his side of the court one final time. “Good night, Steve.”

With a small wave, he turned and started walking towards where Dum Dum waited. He got two whole steps, then he changed course, coming to stand in front of you again.

You could see him swallow, his Adam’s apple bobbing before he blurted, “Go out with me. I mean, if you want. I, uh, I really like you, Sweets. Maybe if you like me, too, I could take you out sometime.”

Your cheeks hurt with how wide your smile became.

“Yeah, I’d like that,” you murmured, then leaned in to press a brief kiss to his cheek. When you pulled back, you added, “I really like you, too, Steve. Call me tomorrow?”

He nodded several times. His voice cracked, raising an octave. “I’ll call you tomorrow. Text me when you get home? I wanna make sure you get there safe.”

“I will. Go before Dum Dum tries to leave without you.”

Steve took off after Dum Dum, who’d threatened to leave him as you said he might.

It wasn’t until he reached the doorway that you called out, “Hey, Steve, do you believe someone could fall in love after a few calls and texts?”

He grinned. “Yeah, I do. I’m pretty sure I did.”

“I’m pretty sure I did, too,” you admitted with a dreamy smile.

*****

Main Masterlist

#steve rogers x reader #pre serum steve #pre serum steve x reader #steve rogers fluff #x female reader #steve rogers #modern au #bucky barnes #natasha romanoff #bucky x nat #mcu #marvel

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fangsandfracturedhearts · 10 months

Text

Fangs and Fractured Hearts

Summary: After embracing eternity as a vampire spawn under Astarion's wing, the Crimson Palace becomes a haunting symbol of the man he once was. As his personality unravels into a dark abyss, you flee. A year of hardship unveils the harsh reality of existence as a vampire spawn.

Just as all hope seems lost, a twist of fate reunites you with Astarion, revealing a glimmer of hope amidst the shadows. As you navigate the complexities of your relationship, you must confront the unsettling truth behind the Rite of Profane Ascension and the devilish secrets it holds.

In a race against time, you embark on a daring quest to save Astarion from his descent into darkness. With each choice you make, the stakes grow higher, testing the limits of your courage and determination.

Will Astarion find redemption, or is he destined to succumb to his own inner turmoil?

Pairing: Softish Ascended Astarion x female!Tav Spawn Note: It is/will be mentioned Tav is a draconic sorcerer

Rating: Explicit 18+ [Slow Burn]

Setting: Post End-Game Please note: Written before epilogues were added, so may not be congruent with that content

Warnings [more will be added] - expect mature content/read at your own risk.

Blood drinking. Sexual Themes/Tension. Slow Burn. Eventual Explicit Smut. Pining. Suicidal Thoughts. Biting. Violence.

Small Notes:

I am not well-versed in DnD 5e and it's rules as it pertains to this world, so although I'm going to try and keep it as accurate as possible, some aspects may not align or may be completely made up for story reasons.

Mentioned of in-game content that I've made resolve a certain way for this Tav.

Fabricated camp events.

Tav is named in later chapters (15 +), will have her own backstory, which we may explore eventually.

Details of Tav's appearance have been made up, but I've tried to keep details to a minimum so you can imagine your own Tav.

Otherwise, I hope you all enjoy!

Big thank you to everyone who reads and/or comments/follows/likes/reblogs - it truly does make my day to know you're finding some enjoyment in my story :)

Chapter 1: Lost

Chapter 2: Reunion

Chapter 3: One Step Forward, Two Steps Back

Chapter 4: Little Lamb

Chapter 5: Rebellion

Chapter 6: Dancing with Darkness

Chapter 7: Rogue Desire

Chapter 8: Free Fall

Chapter 9: Beneath the Veil

Chapter 10: Soulbound

Chapter 11: 'Till Death Do Us Part

Chapter 12: Catharsis

Chapter 13: The Fallacy of Power

Chapter 14: Devil's Ploy

Chapter 15: Reclamation

Chapter 16: Riddles

Chapter 17: Unearthed

Chapter 18: Unleashed

Chapter 19: Hark Thy Plea

Chapter 20: I Forgive You

Chapter 21: Preparations

Chapter 22: This is Our Sanctuary

Chapter 23: Way Down We Go

AO3 [cross-posted]

If you're interested, I also write a spawn Astarion x Tav fic - Shadows of the Past

I also write a much darker fic for named Durge and AA that I post to A03 exclusively. It's dark, gory, and not about fixing AA but about them becoming an evil power couple if you're interested - Lie to Me

#bg3 astarion #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #astarion x you #buldars gate 3 #astarion smut #bg3 fanfiction #astarion ancunin #bg3 spoilers #bg3 #astarion #fangs and fractured hearts #astarion x named tav #astarion x oc #soft ascended astarion #ascended astarion #astarion baldurs gate #astarion bg3

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lesbehonestsstuff · 4 days

Text

I apologize for what I’m about to do 😀 remember when I posted about Casey going to visit Alex’s mom after Alex died ? well I took it and ran with it and out came a heartbreaking fic so here you go

Word count: 3882

Also @wild-fleurs you put the idea in my head to write this so now we can both be sad

Casey was trying, she was trying her best to keep going, but most days she couldn't even find the strength to get out of bed. Today though she had managed, managed to pull herself from the nest of grief she had made of their room, and somehow stumbled uptown. She stood in front of the heavy oak door, the night chill creeping through her bones despite the wool coat she had hastily thrown on. She raised her hand to knock but hesitated. The last thing she wanted was to bother Caroline. She felt hollowed out, like there was nothing left of her but grief and guilt, and showing up at this hour—it felt selfish. But where else could she go?

She had no one else in the city. Her parents didn’t talk to her anymore, her siblings lived in other states, she was all alone. Except for Caroline. Caroline, who had been stoic the day of the funeral letting tear after tear fall when her daughter's casket was lowered to the ground. Casey had been beside her and she barely managed to keep it together before she excused herself, sobs clawing out of her throat as she fled needing to get as far from the cemetery as she could.

She felt bad about it later but she couldn’t handle it and couldn't be there on the receiving end of people’s sympathy. She hadn’t seen Caroline since and quite frankly she didn’t know why she was currently standing in front of the brownstone; she just knew she had to get out of their apartment. Away from the reminders of what her life used to look like, Alex marking every part of it

Her hand hovered a second longer before she tapped lightly. The sound was so soft she worried it hadn’t registered, but within moments, the door creaked open. Caroline Cabot stood in the soft lamplight, dressed in her silk robe, her face apparently calm, but there was an exhaustion born not from physical tiredness, but from the endless weight of grief that Casey could see in her features. Caroline so poised graceful could very well be the only person who might understand what Casey was feeling.

"Casey," Caroline’s voice was low, carrying with it a warmth that broke something inside of Casey. That made her ache because not even her wife dying had gotten her own mother to at least pick up the phone and check on her. "What are you doing here, darling? It's so late."

“I—I didn’t know where else to go,” Casey whispered, the words catching in her throat. Her eyes stayed fixed on the threshold, unable to meet Caroline’s gaze. She was begining to regret her decision to come intrude on Caroline’s night.

Caroline however stepped aside immediately, the silent invitation giving Casey the slightest of comfort. "Come inside, sweetheart."

Casey walked in, her body stiff and uncertain, the warm, familiar smell of the house wrapping around her, pulling her back to all the times she and Alex had spent here. For Casey it had been awkward at first. The lavish home occupied by people she could never begin to pretend she could be. It had made her feel inferior but slowly the more Alex invited her over to see her mother in law the more comfortable Casey got. She started loving the place, always warm, always lingering with the smell of tea. But tonight, the memories were sharp, jagged. They cut into her, not as much as in her apartment but still so incredibly painful.

As Caroline closed the door behind them, Casey found herself shaking from the cold. “I’m sorry for bothering you.”

“You could never bother me,” Caroline said, her tone as soft as the hands she placed gently on Casey’s arm. “Sit down, dear.”

Casey shuffled toward the couch, she sank into the plush cushions, feeling small in the vast, elegant living room. The space was perfect, just like Caroline. Every detail, from the well-curated art to the perfectly arranged flowers on the mantel, it all showed Caroline’s refined taste. But tonight, it all felt like a reminder of how she didn’t belong here anymore. Without Alex, this world of grace and perfection seemed alien to her once more.

"I couldn’t stay at the apartment," Casey mumbled, her voice barely audible. "Everything... everything there reminds me of her."

Caroline nodded, sitting next to Casey, her face showing nothing but understanding. She had learned, in her grief, how to master that particular expression—the one that said, ‘I feel it too, but we must go on.’ But now, watching Casey, something felt wrong. Casey wasn’t just grieving; she was unraveling, bit by bit, and Caroline could see it in every hollowed-out shadow on her face, in the way her clothes hung loosely on her frame.

“Have you eaten?” Caroline asked gently, though she already knew the answer.

Casey shook her head. "I’m not very hungry anymore."

Caroline's lips pressed into a thin line, not wanting to push her, but unwilling to let her slip further away. "You should eat something. Just a little."

Casey barely responded, her gaze fixed somewhere far beyond the room. The emptiness in her eyes made Caroline worry. She looked so much smaller than she remembered—Alex had always told her how strong Casey was, how she could take on the world if she wanted to. But now? Now, she looked fragile, as if a strong wind could blow her away.

“You look exhausted, my dear. Why don’t you close your eyes for a little while, while I make dinner?” Caroline’s voice was soft, her hand stroking Casey’s hair slowly.

“I... I can’t sleep. Every time I close my eyes, I see her,”

“You need to try, your body needs it so just close your eyes and i'll stay here with you

Caroline watched as Casey’s eyes fluttered shut, her breathing evening out into soft, broken sighs. She looked so fragile, so heartbreakingly lost. Caroline’s own grief was constantly threatening to swallow her whole. But having Casey here, taking care of her,maybe it could give her something to hold on to, some piece of Alex still in her life.

Caroline reached for a nearby blanket and draped it gently over Casey’s thin form satisfyed when she saw her daughter in laws features relax. She could see how much weight Casey had lost, the dark circles under her eyes noticeable against her pale skin. Caroline felt her heart twist with worry. This girl, this beautiful, broken woman who had loved her daughter so fiercely, was fading before her eyes. And Caroline couldn’t let that happen. Not when Casey was a part of Alex.

She disappeared into the kitchen, her slippered feet barely making a sound. The act of preparing food, something warm, comforting was automatic. Tomato soup, the kind Alex had loved, the kind Caroline had made for years. As the broth simmered, the scent of garlic and thyme filled the house. It was strange, how the simple act of cooking could still feel grounding in the midst of everything, giving her back a sense of a routine she hadnt had since her daughter died.

Casey didn’t know how long she had been asleep, but when she woke, the room was dark and quiet. Caroline was seated nearby with a cup of tea in her hands reading a book with the soft glow of a lamp. The house smelled good and her stomach rumbled craving whatever Caroline had cooked.

Alex was still gone.

But Caroline… Caroline was still here.

“I’m sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep” Casey mumbled, attempting to sit up, but Caroline was next to her in a moment and stopped her with a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“There’s nothing to apologize for,” Caroline said softly. “You needed the rest.”

She gave her a small smile and disappeared quickly into the kitchen bringing back a tray with soup and a grilled cheese. “You’ll have to forgive me dear, much like Alex. I'm not very good in the kitchen” Caroline said softly, setting the tray on the coffee table. "I know it feels like you can’t but you need to try. Just a few bites, sweetheart. Please.”

Casey’s eyes flicked to the bowl, the steam rising from the soup, but she didn’t move. “I can’t. It feels like I can’t swallow it down. She’s gone, and I...”

Caroline’s chest tightened. She sat down beside Casey, her voice steady but full of compassion. "She wouldn’t want you to starve yourself, to stop taking care of yourself. You know how stubborn Alex could be. She would hate to see you like this, Casey."

“I know.” Casey’s voice cracked, her body curling in on itself as though the weight of her sorrow was too much to bear. "I know she would, but I don’t know how to be without her. I don’t know how to keep going.”

Caroline reached out, gently brushing a tear from Casey’s cheek. “You don’t have to know how. You just have to take it one moment at a time.”

“Sometimes I feel like I’m going crazy,” Casey admitted after a long pause. “Like I’ll never feel anything but this… numbness. Like I’m forgetting her already. Isn’t that horrible?”

Caroline looked at her with soft eyes, her own grief rippling through the room. “No, it’s not horrible. It’s part of the pain, darling. But you’re not forgetting her. She’s with you in everything you do. Grief… it doesn’t mean forgetting. It means learning to live with the love you still carry.”

Casey closed her eyes, tears spilling over her lashes as she leaned into Caroline’s shoulder, her body shaking with the sobs she had tried so hard to hold back. "I don’t know if I can do this."

“You can,” Caroline whispered, her hand cradling the back of Casey’s head. “I promise you, you can. And I’m here with you.”

"How... how do you keep it together so well?" Casey’s voice was barely more than a whisper, shaky and fragile. She didn't meet Caroline's gaze, instead staring into her bowl as though it held some hidden answer.

Caroline sighed softly, she took a deep breath, her hands resting in her lap, fingers trembling slightly. “I don't, dear.”

Casey looked up, her brow furrowing in confusion. She had always admired Caroline’s composure, the way she seemed to navigate grief with such grace, even when Casey herself was crumbling. “What do you mean? I came to check on you and you’re here comforting me.”

Caroline’s smile was faint, bittersweet, and her eyes shimmered with unshed tears. “I lost my husband years ago. That taught me how to grieve, I know what it feels like and yet it doesn’t make it any easier. I never thought I’d lose my daughter too.” Her voice broke on the last word, and she closed her eyes, as if trying to hold herself together. “I’m not strong, Casey. I struggle every day. I’m in pain every day. It’s hard to keep going because it isn’t fair that she’s gone.”

Tears welled up in Casey’s eyes, her heart pounding painfully in her chest as she watched Caroline, someone who had always seemed so poised, now breaking in front of her. She saw the lines of grief etched deeper into Caroline’s face, the quiet way her shoulders shook as she tried to keep her tears at bay.

“I thought losing Alexander was the hardest thing I’d ever go through,” Caroline continued, her voice tight, “but losing Alex... there are days I don’t know how I’m still standing.”

Casey reached out hesitantly, placing her hand on top of Caroline’s. The older woman squeezed back, her grip surprisingly firm, holding tightly to Casey.

“I’m sorry,” Casey whispered, guilt weighing heavily on her chest. “I shouldn’t have—”

“Don’t,” Caroline interrupted softly, shaking her head. “You’re allowed to ask. And you’re allowed to feel like this.”

For a moment, the only sound in the room was the soft ticking of a clock on the wall. Caroline wiped at her tears, sniffing softly before her lips curled into a small smile.

“You know,” she started, her voice lighter now, “Alex was always so serious as a child. Proper, even. She had her nose in a book more than anything else. While other children played outside, she was inside reading, arranging her dollhouse or playing chess with her father. She was always in her own little world, so smart and stubborn.” Caroline chuckled softly, her eyes distant, lost in memories of her daughter.

Casey managed a small smile, a flash of warmth blooming in her chest. “That sounds like her.”

Caroline nodded, her gaze softening as she continued. “I knew early on that she wouldn’t end up with a boy. One day, she came home from school when she was about six years old and declared with such authority, ‘Boys are useless, Mama. They’re horrible.’” Caroline laughed, and for the first time in what felt like an eternity, so did Casey.

It was a broken, quiet laugh, but it was real. The sound filled the room, easing some of the tension in the air.

Caroline smiled warmly, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “From that day, I had a feeling. I didn’t say anything, of course, but I always knew my daughter would end up with someone special. Someone who could match her, challenge her.” Her gaze softened as she looked at Casey. “And she found you.”

Caroline chuckled softly, her fingers brushing the stray hair from Casey’s face. “She always had such high expectations for herself. And when she met you, she told me she’d found the one”

Casey’s breath hitched in her throat, fresh tears burning her eyes. “She told you that?”

“She did,” Caroline whispered. “She loved you more than anything in this world, Casey.”

Caroline smiled faintly, wiping away a tear that had escaped down Casey’s cheek. “And you loved her more than anyone else ever could. And that makes you family.”

Casey swallowed hard, her throat tight with emotion.“Thank you,” she whispered, the words barely audible. She wiped at her face quickly, trying to regain control, but it was impossible. “I miss her so much, Caroline,” she said, her voice cracking.

Caroline pulled her into a tight embrace, holding her as she sobbed. “I know, dear. I know. But we have each other. We’ll get through this together.”

The weight of those words settled between them, giving Casey something solid to cling to in the storm that had become her life.

For the first time in months, in this house full of memories, Casey let herself rest.

---

In the weeks that followed, Casey’s visits became more frequent. At first, they were always at night, always after she had spent hours drowning in work or staring at the walls of her empty apartment. But soon, it became routine, Caroline would make tea, Casey would sit quietly at the table, and they would talk. Not always about Alex, but about the small things. The weather. Books. Anything to fill the space between them.

Caroline watched Casey closely during these visits, noting the slight improvements, a little more color in her cheeks, a little less tension in her shoulders, but also the lingering sadness in her eyes. Casey’s grief was still a raw wound, but at least here, in this house, she wasn’t alone.

And in taking care of Casey, Caroline found a sense of purpose again, something to ground her in the face of her own unbearable loss.

---

When Caroline began to get sick, Casey noticed before anyone else. It was in the way her steps slowed, how her voice seemed quieter, weaker. But it wasn’t until Caroline collapsed one evening that Casey’s world shattered again.

Caroline was gone by winter.

Casey stood at the grave, her eyes hollow as she stared at the fresh dirt that covered Caroline’s casket. The air was cold, biting at her cheeks, but she didn’t feel it. Not really. She felt numb again, any progress she had made crumbling beneath her feet now that the woman that had loved her like a mother was gone. As if each loss had taken a piece of her, until there was almost nothing left. First Alex, and now Caroline—the one person who had understood, who had kept her grounded when everything else had fallen apart.

The flowers in her hand trembled as she knelt down, placing them gently on the grave, and then placing the others in front of Alex’s. She wanted to say something, anything, but no words came. How do you thank someone for giving you the only semblance of a family you had left, for helping you grieve their daughter when you couldn’t even grieve for yourself?

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, her voice barely audible in the wind. “I should have done more. I should have—”

Her breath hitched, and she stood up quickly, wiping the tears from her eyes. She couldn’t stay any longer.

She got a small comfort in knowing that at least Caroline would be with Alex now. But of course that wasn’t true

The day Alex came back was the best and worst day of Casey’s life.

She had grieved, convinced Alex was gone forever. Months of sleepless nights, empty days, and trying to piece together a life shattered by loss with the help of Caroline. And then suddenly Alex was back, standing in the doorway, alive but looking so broken, like she had been just as lost as Casey. All the anger, confusion, and hurt hit at once. Casey didn't know if she wanted to hold her or scream at her. But the devastation in Alex's eyes, the weight she carried—it made the anger fade, at least for the moment. So she clung to her, almost tackling her in a hug that was interrupted by sobs and tears and kisses that brought back a piece of Casey that she was sure was gone forever.

Days later, they stood together at Caroline’s grave. As much as Alex wanted to go visit her mother she couldn’t bring herself to do it at first, couldn’t face the reality that her mom was gone for good and Casey understood, so she gave her time as they figured out where they stood.

The wind blew through the cemetery, cold and sharp, stinging their skin. Spring was a few weeks away so the cold air was just another reminder of how cruel time had been for both of them. How much time they had lost. Alex stood still, staring at the grave, her face tight, like she was holding herself together by a thread. Casey watched her, unsure if she should reach out or let Alex face this moment alone.

“When they told me she was gone,” Alex finally said, her voice low and rough, “I… I didn’t believe it. I couldn’t wrap my head around it. I kept thinking they had to be wrong, that somehow… it wasn’t real.” She clenched the flowers so tightly, petals broke off, floating down to the dirt.

Casey didn’t say anything, watching the tension build in Alex’s face.

“I was out there in the middle of nowhere, stuck, and all I could think was… she’s gone. My mom is dead, and I wasn’t there. I couldn’t even bury her. What kind of daughter does that?” Alex’s voice broke, and she turned her head, eyes filling with tears she fought to keep in.

“You didn’t have a choice,” Casey said softly. “They didn’t give you a choice, Alex.”

“But I should’ve listened to you!” Alex’s voice cracked, finally letting out what she’d been holding in for so long. “I should’ve listened. You told me not to push it, not to—” She shook her head, words tripping over each other. “And now I’m here, and she’s not. And you—you had to deal with all of this alone because I was too fucking stubborn.”

Casey’s chest tightened, seeing Alex unravel like this. She tried to step closer, but Alex pulled away, pacing in front of the grave like she couldn’t bear to stand still.

“I left you alone. I left her alone.” Alex wiped her face roughly with the back of her hand, her breath coming quicker. “And now… she’s dead. My mom is dead.”

Casey felt her heart shatter again, hearing the raw pain in Alex’s voice, and she reached for her. “Alex—”

“She’s gone. She’s gone, and I—” Alex’s knees gave out, and she crumbled before the grave, clutching the flowers she still held, her shoulders shaking with each sob. “I wasn’t here. I couldn’t even say goodbye.”

Tears streamed down Alex’s face as sob after sob tore through her, shaking her whole body. Casey dropped beside her, pulling her into her arms as Alex’s grief poured out, a flood of months of guilt, pain, and loss.

“She’s gone,” Alex gasped between sobs. “She’s gone, Casey. I’ll never get to see her again. I’ll never hear her voice, never—” She couldn’t finish. The words turned into another flood of choked sobs, her body trembling in Casey’s arms. “I want my mom” she sobbed out letting her head fall against Casey's chest.

Casey pressed her lips to the top of Alex’s head, rocking her gently. “I know. I know, baby. I’m so sorry. I’m so, so sorry.”

For what felt like hours, Alex cried until her voice was hoarse, her tears soaking Casey’s coat. When the sobs finally slowed, Alex leaned back against Casey, utterly drained, her eyes red and swollen. She looked lost, like a little girl who had just lost her entire world.

Casey stroked her hair, whispering softly. “She wasn’t alone. She helped me, and I helped her. We got through it together.”

Alex closed her eyes, her breath still shaky. “I should’ve been the one here with her.”

Casey didn’t know what to say, because she knew no words could make Alex’s guilt go away.

Alex sniffled, wiping her face with the back of her sleeve. “I don’t know how to forgive myself for not being there.”

Casey shifted so she could look into Alex’s eyes, her thumb brushing away the tears still clinging to her cheeks. “ You survived. That’s what matters. That’s what she would’ve wanted and she wouldn’t have wanted to see you drowning in guilt”

“But she’s not here,” Alex whispered, her voice so small it almost broke Casey’s heart all over again.

Casey stared into those beautiful blue eyes and brought Alex in closer as they both knelt by the grave in silence, holding each other in the quiet hurt of their grief. The flowers they’d brought lay in front of the headstone, peonies and daisies.

Alex laid her head on Casey’s shoulder. She just sat there, staring at the grave as the last of her tears dried on her cheeks. Finally, with a heavy sigh, she whispered, “Thank you. For being here. For… everything.”

Casey pressed her forehead to Alex’s. “You don’t have to thank me, Alex. I’m with you, always.”

They got up, hand in hand, there was nothing left to say, but they stood there for a moment longer, letting the quiet surround them. Trying to wake up from the nightmare that had tainted their lives.

#casey novak x alex cabot #might be one of the saddest ones I’ve written oops #law and order svu #alex cabot #casey novak #calex

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vqlluna · 9 months

Text

SOBER CONFESSIONS ━━━ REMUS LUPIN

drunken truths p1

summary: Kissing Remus that night was the only thing on your mind the entire month, and you haven't seen him since then. You both happen to bump into each other in distress in the safety at Lily's apartment in the middle of the night. Turns out Remus got into a fight, for you?

notes: f!rich!reader x poor!remus lupin, goody-two-shoes!reader x stoner!remus wounds, fluff, frenemies to lovers Remus is sassy and sweet

a/n: as promised, I'm delivering a part two! Sorry it took to long, been brainstorming/daydreaming and fixing/adding details for the past few days! Enjoyyy

IT'S NOT FUN WHEN YOUR MIND FUSSES OVER ONE THING AND ONE THING ONLY. You never remember your drunken nights, that was until a month ago. Even if the rest of the night is a blur you can surely still feel the lingers of Remus' lips, and his touch, and his confessions.

That was the first time you truly accepted to yourself how much you wanted him, but what would be the chances? Lightly touching upon the subject with your parents, especially your mother, did not go well. Now all your most precious belongings sat in a suitcase in the middle of James' and Lily's living room.

Even further so, being locked tight in a small flat with people who constantly talked about their wolfish friend, didn't help get him off your mind. So instead you found yourself busying yourself every day for the past month.

This is how countless shopping bags also ended up beside that suitcase on the floor. It's also how you'd been going out to party so much on your own, desperate to find a man that both you and your mother could approve of so you could move back home to your luxurious bed.

Tonight's adventure was truly needed, as James and Lily just couldn't provide you with foods that fit your, quite expensive, tastes. Now you end up coming back after a late-night trip to the twenty-four-hour grocery mart.

You jumble around as you open the door, pushing it open with your back before you twirl back around. In between the bags of produce that you held in your arm, you see a head of short hair peeping at the edge of the couch which presses against the side of the wall.

"James?" You ask, you go to your left as you enter the small kitchen, setting the bags on the short island turning the lights above the countertops on.

You turn back to the couch enveloped in shadow and chuckle, "What'd you do to Lils this time?" you tease after remembering the one time you'd come over as James had to sleep on the couch after an argument.

You smiled to yourself excited for being able to shove him off of it in a few minutes after putting everything away.

"Definitely m'not James" the person on the couch mumbled, their voice slipping out like silk. You froze as your back faced away from the living room, coincidentally a few bars of expensive chocolate in your hands, ready to be put away.

"What are you doing here, Remus?" you looked slightly over your shoulder as a shiver went through your body. The one person who you were constantly trying not to think about now lay down in the same room as you.

"What are you doing here?"

"I asked first."

You turned around, shoving your groceries to the side as you turned on the lamp at the end table beside the sofa. You widen your eyes as Remus' appearance matched his explanation. "Was out with Prongs, he dragged me back here after I got ina fight with some bloke."

Whatever bloke, had had the guts to fight Remus surely gave him a nasty bruise at his eye. What surprised you even more was his missing jumper which he had turned into a makeshift pillow. Ignoring the flush at your cheeks and the wild thoughts in your mind you could see imprints of nails that dug at his shoulders, dried blood around them.

At the top of his forehead sat even more dried blood and small cuts around his cheeks, and the scars scattered around his body didn't help his appearance.

"Merlin, Remus! Did James even try fixing you up?" you scolded, and even wanted to scowl as Remus' rolled his eyes.

"Calm down. I'm fine."

"And where was Lily?"

"Fast asleep," he shrugged, "We didn't want to wake her— Now care to explain why you're here?" he pushed on, changing the topic away from him.

Your eyes dashed around him in worry, it wasn't all that bad, but without the proper care anything could get infected. "I live here now—" you mumbled before switching the topic back, "Remus you, you need some ice," you finalized walking to the freezer.

Remus watched as you slipped a mound of ice cubes into a plastic bag before wrapping it in cloth. You returned back, setting yourself at the edge of the couch beside him. "Here," you said out reaching the makeshift ice pack.

The boy cocked an eyebrow at you soon shrugging you off, "M'fine," he reiterated.

You huffed, softly pressing the ice to this eye yourself, holding it there despite his tries to move it off.

"Stubborn," he grumbled.

"Evasive."

Your stomach fluttered as you noticed the corner of his lips picked up slightly. "So why are you living here, Princess?" he asked, sending another shiver down your side, you'd never get over the name.

"Got in an argument with my mother about quite a few things. She kicked me or, or really I just left. Lily let me crash," you explained rapidly. You didn't want to explain that the main argument was over how your Mother couldn't let you marry someone of "his status".

Carefully you took his hand pressing it over the ice pack to keep it in place, "M'gonna, I'm gonna get you some anti-septic, hold on. And keep that damn ice on your face!"

As you left Remus did take the ice off for a second in spite. Taking his jumper away from his head, he laid it over his torso, feeling insecure of his scars ever since you turned the lamp on, especially when you looked him over quite a few times.

When he heard your foot steps come down back the hallway he replaced the ice pack on his eye, curiously eyeing the wet cloth and bottles in your hands.

A fter returning you removed the ice pack yourself, setting it on the coffee table, much to Remus' delight. What wasn't very settling to him was when you mentioned how you were too clean up the cuts, especially the gash on his forehead.

"Might hurt," you whispered, pouring some solution on a cotton pad and applying it to the tiny cuts and imprints first. You then moved his temple, you slowly pouring it over. Remus winced and seethed, making a frown appear on your lips. You took the wet rag off your leg as you cleaned up the dried blood. "Sorry."

If he was being honest with himself, he didn't mind. The closer to him you were, the better. He was hopeful you didn't notice his constant stare on you as you worked on healing his wounds. So fussed over him he itched himself with the question, "Why are you doing this?"

Grateful for the dim lighting, you cheeks heated up. "Well, you're currently residing on my bed. Sooner I patch you up, sooner I get to sleep."

"Well I could always make some room. No problem with sharing," he teased, the extra wink he added pushing you over the edge. For as long as you can remember Remus was also teasingly flirting with you to boil your anger, now you questioned if he did it to genuinely drop hints.

You clenched your jaw, scrunching your nose at him with fake disgust. You set the alcohol and rag back down and picked up a small butterfly strip to apply to the open cut that kept glaring at you from his forehead. "Remus, what happened?" you question concerning to whatever fight he'd wound himself in.

"—Do you remember the party last month?" he cut in right before you applied the bandage, making you freeze once again, but with the power you had, you managed to nod. "What do you remember?"

Simply with the stare you gave him silently told him that you remembered what was important. "Look, I'm sorry for, for kissing you. You were drunk and— It was Rosier."

You wanted to answer, to tell him that you enjoyed the kiss, if it wasn't for the end of the sentence that caught your ears. "What about him?" You'd only brought Rosier that night because your parents would've never let you out of the house to attend some house party with James and everyone.

"Me and Prongs were at a pub t'night. We bumped into him and the git was saying nasty things 'bout you. M'guessing he found out about that night, and I tried telling 'im off but," he rambled and slowed down at the end.

Motioning your head for him to continue. Remus took a breath and furthered on, "He started talking crap about me and then my fist did the rest of the talking," he chuckled, "Prick was a coward at the end and ended up just hittin' me over the head with a bottle." Well, that explained the cuts all over his face.

You looked at him in slight up, your lips parted, "What'd he say about me?"

"S'not important."

"What did he say, Remus."

You needed to know what things were being said about you behind your back. Though you had your difficulties with your family, you weren't going to let bad-mouthing of you ruin everything. You didn't want shame put on your name from a lonely, rich bastard.

But most of all you wanted to know what riled Remus up so much that he'd take a hit of glass to the head for you. Putting down the strip you occupied him by then putting the ice back on his eye. And as you stared at him so intently he couldn't say no to you.

"He called you a—a slut and a bloody whore," he said quietly, looking away as his jaw clenched and teeth gritted, "Just rambling on to all his muppets on how it wouldn't be long till you moved onto them and their servants." You heart sped up tenderly as you saw how furious and emotional he got over the subject.

It surprised to you know that truly, somewhere, Remus had a heart for you. You bit the inside of your cheek figuring out what to say next. You busied yourself switching back on bandaging the cut up again, talking while you applied it on to distract him from the pain.

"You shouldn't have punched him though, you fool," you laughed very softly, not letting him know that knowing what Evan Rosier had been saying about you affected you as much as it did, "Can't doubt that the prat will press charges."

"It's worth it."

You set the peelings of the strip back down in the small box beside all the other items. Remus twisted his legs around you before planting his feet on the ground sitting beside you.

While months ago, being so close in his vicinity would have you fuming, itching to get to the other side of the room, you now sat with goosebumps all over your body, a rapidly beating heart, and twiddling your fingers in your lap like a dunce.

"Did you mean what you said that night?" the question slipping out of your lips while you craned your neck to look at him. "When you said I was pretty, and charming, and that you liked me, did you mean it?" The only answer Remus gave you was silence, a shaky inhale was the only thing that was heard other than the chirps of crickets outside.

His jaw shook slightly while his lips were brought into a fine line, "Yes," he said. You blinked and looked down into the tiny sliver of space that was in between you two. And now this time Remus was anxiously awaiting your repsonse.

"I like you too," you whispered, looking up at him through your lashes. Remus' fingers twitched at his sides and he gave you a singular nod.

"Good." He turned around, stretching out to grab his jumper as he stood up and put it on. "I should get going now, since I'm all patched up." You cursed yourself in your mind for being sad as the fabric covered his torso.

The air around you two was thick and weirdly awkward. "Do you want a cuppa?" you blurted, "Before you go. I got this special tea from the market."

Remus nodded, "That'd be nice, thanks," he muttered. You got up and squeezed your way past him, sending shocks up his arm. You got the counter and shifted through the bags picking out two different boxes of tea bags. "Which would you like, I have—" As you turned around to show him the options you were surprised at his very close presence behind you.

He looked like he was shaking himself out of something as he apologized, "Sorry."

You turned back setting the boxes back down on the marble as a sudden urge came over you. You cursed once more to yourself biting your lip in contemplation. "Fuck it," you uttered so quietly that only you'd hear it.

You whirled back around stopping as you caught Remus' eye. And for what seemed like hours, the two of you just stared. It wasn't like the night at the party, where his eyes glazed all over you face, he was simply just looking at your eyes, and it both scared you and make you feel warm at the same time. "Can I kiss you?" you questioned.

His lips crawled into a mixture of a smirk and a grin, "You don't need to ask me that ever, Princess." You stomach filled with butterflies at your anxiousness. His hand snaked to cup your face pulling the two of you in, but he didn't dare let your lips touch.

It wasn't like the last, where he'd gone in so quickly, instead, you waited there with your eyes closed begging him in your mind to just do it. In fact, it gave some odd comfort at the thought that he might be relishing himself in the moment just before he finally attached to you.

But just like the last, when it happened you were overwhelmed with a rush of dizziness. This time though the kiss felt extremely gentle, he kissed you like you were made of glass. Because while that night, kissing him felt like a fight of realising feelings, this one felt like dancing in them.

It wasn't long before the two of you got tired of having to contort you necks, and so Remus aided you on your try to hop up and sit on the counter. Carelessly you both pushed the paper bags and boxes of tea aside, making quite a ruckess you giggled.

You hands found themselves in what you decided your now favourite place to put them, tangled in his hair. And his own, what was then decided from the very beginning, resting back along your hips, least to say you had a strong sense of deja vu.

Remus stumbled, creaking and shoving the stool beside him and the tug you gave at his hair earned you a small groan from him before he parted for a moment. "If we keep making noise like this they're bound to wake up and kick us out."

You pecked him lips before adding a remark of your own, "You're the one making all the noise you idiot. Besides, wouldn't be the first time you've ruined something."

You felt the chuckle he gave fan out against your face while he pressed his nose into yours, "Here I was thinking that when you finally liked me the shots would end."

"If I recall you're the one who starting throwing the shots first."

"Can't blame me for wanting your attention," he shrugged, capturing your lips one again and capturing you in a little shock you'd accidentally completely knocked the boxes of tea off the counter. "So I'm the one making all the noise huh?"

"Shut up," you breathe dipping back in. Just then the door at the end of the apartment twisted open and your red-haired friend barged down the hallway, and the dazed lost puppy that was James stumbled down the hall with her.

She had a stern look on her face as her wand was raised at the ready. As she caught sight at the two of you, Remus in between your legs with your arms wrapped around him, her jaw dropped. "What the hell?!" she yelled, a smug smile on her face.

You peeked over Remus' shoulder looking to Lily whilst she gave you a supportive shake of her head. "I'm home!" you cheesily said quietly.

James, not taking in anything that was going on around him, dragged his hands down his face as he turned around and walked back into his room as Lily told him, "We can get back to bed, love, nothing but people who've gone mad!" she suggested toward the pair of you.

She turned back around before she entered back into her room. "If you two do anything," she scolded, wagging her wand, "I will curse your nuts, Moony, and donate your trash collection of books!" she scowled, slamming the door shut.

Remus' shoulders shook as he laughed quietly. Upon looking back at him your eyes immediately found his again realising he hadn't once looked away during the interaction. "I think we've found you a new enemy," he teased.

You rolled your eyes, "I'd never hate anyone as much as I hate you. Especially not Lils," you emphasized. Your breath was stuck as he started pecking and nipping at your jaw. He made his way around your neck, collarbone, and face, surely leaving a pair of hickeys somewhere before he place one last kiss at your lips.

"Y'sure about that, Princess?"

I'll let you all decide if you want more of them

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witchthewriter · 1 year

Photo

𝐃𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐒𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞

⤷ gender neutral, ambiguous race, and any size reader. Requests are open, thank you for reading!

a/n: I made a quiz ‘Which Son Is Your Old Man’, so you can find out once and for all who you would be best suited to!

Warnings: swears, mentions of violence, smoking, drugs

ᴹᵃˢᵗᵉʳˡᶤˢᵗ

𝐉𝐚𝐱 𝐓𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫

・Yes, he does spend a lot of time doing club business. But it also means he’s home randomly throughout the day.

・His speciality is making breakfast; eggs, bacon, toast, french toast, waffles etc

・Yes, he did develop the skill from all the one night stands he’s had...

・But hey, at least now you’re the one that reaps the reward!

・Doesn’t snore in his sleep, but does toss and turn a lot

・Sometimes he has really really bad nightmares. He doesn’t want to wake you up, so he goes and has a smoke outside

・Really loves chewing on ice cubes. When you get McDonalds, he’ll eat everyone’s ice from their drinks (obviously after their done with it)

・When you’re feeling down; physically or mentally, he’ll read to you. Jax bought you a new edition of your favourite book for your birthday and he’s so used to holding it in his hands by now.

・Really likes when you light candles when he gets home, he prefers them over the overhead lighting

・Doesn’t like loud sudden noises - definitely has undiagnosed PTSD. He’s gotten really good at hiding it, but some days - when he has really long showers, you know it’s a bad day

𝐎𝐩𝐢𝐞 𝐖𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐧

・When he isn’t doing things for the club, he loves to work in ‘the shed’.

・He has a lot of projects going on - making garden beds for Gemma’s events,

・Opie usually ends up trekking dust, shredded timber and so on throughout the house. You make him have a shower as soon as he’s finished working outside.

・But you can’t lie, he does create some beautiful things.

・He made a dining room table - and the detailing was so amazing you nearly teared up

・Opie is great at painting as well, honestly, he’s just good at general renovations. Somehow he knows how to do stuff around the house - unclogging drains, fixing pipes, changing lightbulbs, stopping leaks etc

・Opie’s like your own handy man!

・Secretly a cat person. Don’t get him wrong, he doesn’t mind dogs. They’re great, but cats are so unpredictable - without the risk. He finds them so interesting.

・Loves Disney movies, especially the cartoon version of Robin Hood. You’ll find him humming the song about Robin and Little John

・Likes that he towers of you and will put things out of your reach just to rile you up

𝐂𝐡𝐢𝐛𝐬 𝐓𝐞𝐥𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐝

・Actively cleans up after himself and you.

・Really likes a clean home, and he’s lived on his own for a long time, so he knows how to run a house

・He also grew up around a lot of women, so he knows how to cook some great meals

・Chibs was also whipped into shape by these women, so that’s why it’s ingrained in him...

・Knows a lot of Scottish drinking songs, and he always sings them when he’s had a few too much to drink

・And his voice is actually quite lovely

・He also sings in the shower

・A loud gruff Scottish man singing in your shower always brightens your day

・Automatically turns the kettle on when he gets home (and will make tea for two, knowing exactly how you like it)

・Not a lot of random visitors, he likes to keep business and his home life separate. Even though the club is his life, he likes having his own space

𝐇𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐲 𝐋𝐨𝐰𝐦𝐚𝐧

・Many, many takeout and movie nights

・Especially when he’s been gone on club business

・Does the washing and folding for both your clothes. It was his main job when he lived at home too.

・Also mows the lawn without a shirt on, so that’s...a fun sight to see (he likes showing off in front of you)

・Loves the movie Avatar; would definitely go into a deep dive of how it all works and how they created it.

・Would die if you showed interest in it as well. You bought him a book about the characters and he spent a whole afternoon reading it

・Surprises everyone with how much he loves books

・A man of few words, he actually has really profound things to say. Some of it can be really poetic...

・Likes having his shoulders rubbed, and in return, he massages your feet

・Is really good at looking after you when you’re sick. He has a lot of homemade recipes; soups, oldwives tricks etc. (Except the term ‘oldwives tricks’ shouldn’t be overlooked. A lot of their

𝐓𝐢𝐠 𝐓𝐫𝐚𝐠𝐞𝐫

・Rescue dogs galore

・Tig hates seeing any animal hurt, but he has a special place in his heart for dogs

・Big fucking snorer, and is out as soon as his head hits the pillow

・Hates cooking but doesn’t mind doing the dishes - yeah he’s fucked up that way

・So you handle the food; he’ll get the groceries, but for the love of god he cannot make a proper grown up dish

・In return, he doesn’t mind doing the vaccuuming and mopping (he would so dress up in a maid’s outfit and do it)

・Whenever he wakes up in the middle of the night, he goes into the loungeroom to watch cartoons - like popeye

・Cried while watching Titanic btw

・Oh and has a stash of different types of drugs. Nothing too hardcore though.

・He also makes you have an unregistered firearm so you can protect yourself

・Also loves comic books. He’s a DC kinda guy...yes, his favourite character is Joker

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honest-moth-of-silver-grove · 1 year

Note

How would the male companions go about helping/comforting a tav who’s “monthly visitor” came to town during their journey??

A/N: The timing of this ask is impeccable because guess what I just got? Lol. But seriously I would be mad as hell in the 5 or 6 days I’m supposed to stop my mind flayer parasite AND save the universe I ALSO had to deal with cramping and bleeding. Nu-uh. Nope. Sign me the fuck out. Goodbye cruel world, I would be DONE.

TW: Mentions of Menstruation; Blood

Tried to keep this Tav as Gender Neutral as possible so that it could apply to anyone who menstruates. <3

Please Like & Reblog!

Male BG3 Companions Helping Tav w/ Their Period

⭐ Astarion:

He probably notices it before Tav does

Of course, he offers to help “clean up” ;) (this may or may not get him a kick in the balls)

No, but seriously, if he and Tav are in a relationship, he’d have no qualms going down there himself every so often to “alleviate” some symptoms. That is, of course, if Tav would go for that kind of thing. Astarion won’t keep pushing it if Tav says “no”. He respects the hard boundaries Tav gives him.

Of course, he teases Tav a bit. Not horribly, and it’s all in good fun. But enough to let Tav know that this matter doesn’t disgust or upset him in the slightest. It’s blood for devil's sake! What creature would be better prepared to handle it than him?

If any of Tav’s clothes end up stained or they end up bleeding through them, Astarion has just the thing to take the stains out. Turns out, knowing how to get blood out of most fabrics is quite beneficial knowledge in the vampire community. Plus he has an instinct for knowing where the best tailors and seamstresses in Baldur’s Gate are. Should Tav need an emergency change of clothes, he knows just the place!

Then again, Astarion himself has no problem with the blood stains. After all, they’re traveling around killing monsters for gods sake! If anyone has a nasty comment about how much blood either he or Tav is drenched in, they better be damn quick on their feet. His arrows can shoot pretty far. ;P

As far as cramps or pain goes, if his previous, ahem, suggestion was shot down, he’ll make sure Tav takes a moment here and there to rest. He might even bother Gale, demanding some sort of heat pack. Scratch that. He’s most definitely harassing Gale for some sort of heating pack spell.

If Gale refuses, he might even try and figure out how to fix one himself. Granted fire and vampires aren't the best of friends, but Tav is the only one in the last two-hundred-plus years to see him as a person. A little scorching here and there means nothing if Astarion can let Tav know how much he values them.

🔮 Gale:

He’s clueless, okay? Tav would have to outright tell him. I mean yes, he was raised by a single mom, but she didn’t exactly share the details of this stuff with him. And it never came up all the years he was with Mystra because goddesses don’t exactly reproduce the way other Faerun humanoids do! Please forgive him, he really does want to learn.

He immediately offers to find a spell or potion to either pause or skip this one altogether. He gets that Tav may want to opt out of dealing with it for the time being, seeing as the two of them have much more pressing matters to attend to.

He’ll cast it himself if Tav wishes. Or he’ll find another trustworthy wizard to recommend. Although he does prefer to do it himself, he understands Tav might be uncomfortable with the thought of their new partner doing such a thing for them. His entire life has been spent studying magic, so of course he immediately thinks to use that to remedy any problem Tav has.

Nevertheless, should Tav choose to deal with it in the old-fashioned non-magical way, he’s perfectly accepting of that as well. He’ll enquire about which local herbs are suitable for such applications, possibly even soliciting the help of an herbalist or surgeon.

Gale wants to give Tav as many options for comfort as possible. If Tav’s concern is about heavy bleeding, he looks for answers on natural remedies to lighten the flow. Or he may even speak with a midwife about the best clothes and absorbent materials to use in the coming days.

As awkward as he can be in social situations, he’s oddly great in this endeavor. He treats it the way he would a Weave experiment- with an open mind and curiosity. At the end of the day what matters is Tav knows how much Gale admires and respects them. And that he doesn’t think of them any less for having this bodily function. If anything, he admires Tav more for being so forthcoming. It’s an ask that actually strengthens his and Tav’s relationship.

🗡 Wyll:

Wyll probably shies away from it the most. It’s not that he doesn’t want to help Tav in any way he can, it’s just that he’s a gentleman, and to his knowledge, speaking of certain subjects with the one you like, isn’t something a well-behaved gentleman would do. That being said, a true gentleman is always prepared to put away their discomfort in order to aid their friends, so that’s exactly what he does.

He enlists the help of Shadowheart almost immediately. He knows realistically, there are others he could ask (midwives, doctors, healers), but Shadowheart is an ally and a Cleric to boot. So her skills as well as her knowledge may very well come in handy.

He’ll go along with whatever Tav decides, but he, like Gale, recommends Tav either suspend or skip this round. He thinks it wise to have all their wits about them for the battles ahead. With demons like Mizora and Raphael running about, none of them can afford to get distracted. Again, if Tav chooses to push through it, he’ll be kind and supportive, and request Shadowheart’s healing in subduing some of the more troublesome symptoms. But deep down, he’s happier should Tav decide to use magic or spells to resolve the issue for the time being.

And then, Wyll goes all out in preparation for the next one. Once their fight is won, he can turn his attention back to his family- his Father, and of course, Tav. He makes sure his family home has a room for them, customized in many ways to Tav’s liking. Wyll has their favorite color blanket, a soft pillow, their favorite flavor tea in an enchanted flask to keep it just the perfect temperature… the list goes on and on.

He loves Tav so much. He just wants them to be comfortable, and to feel safe to express whatever feelings they have. After all, Tav is the best thing to ever happen to him.

🌱 Halsin:

The nice thing about him being ‘one with nature’ is that he has no unease regarding the subject. He is an archdruid, and some three-hundred years old at that- believe me, there’s very little Tav’s body could throw at him that he’s not ready to receive.

Out of all the companions, Halsin is the one most likely to not immediately suggest using magical means to pause or skip it. Instead, he has more natural aids at the ready- herbs, teas, heat packs, massages, and well, yes, even that. ;)

The difference between Halsin suggesting it and Astarion suggesting it, however, is that Halsin’s motivations are more focused on what he can do for Tav and their body; they’re not based on the idea of mutual satisfaction. Halsin has had countless lovers and years to understand pleasure. He knows you take turns giving, and he’s well very versed in that.

Or if Tav isn't up for that, he'll offer to shift into a cat and rest on their abdomen, using his body heat to lessen Tav’s cramps.

He’s also the most ‘normal’ when it comes to continuing their journey. He won’t make a habit of fussing over Tav unless they specifically request him to do so. Periods, however annoying and painful, are a part of life, of nature. Halsin believes it best to learn how to accept nature, and live in harmony with it, rather than try and prevent it.

If Tav does want to explore other means of stopping this particular cycle, however, Halsin will help them any way he can, even if he doesn’t think it very wise to mess with the flow of nature like that. As a druid healer himself, he knows a few things or too about reproductive spells. He can make it so the symptoms lessen, or temporarily subside until their perilous journey has come to a close.

Halsin may not want to settle for a single lover, but out of all of them, Tav seems to shine the brightest. He would do anything within his power to aid them.

Bonus! 💪 Minsc (and 🐹 Boo!):

He offers to fight it lol. Just straight up.

“What is this thing causing you stress? Tell Minsc where it is so he can destroy it for you!”

Boo basically has to be the one in charge of the situation, but then again, what’s new?

Boo finds the supplies Tav might need, and directs Minsc to them. Boo also directs Minsc towards either Shadowheart or Halsin, because they’re better suited for dealing with these sorts of things.

Once Minsc understands what Tav meant, he apologizes with a bouquet of wildflowers he picked.

And by ‘picked’ I mean mostly smooshed before ripping their roots out of the ground.

He's really trying okay, give the man some credit.

And give Boo treats to thank him for his service.

#astarion x tav #gale x tav #wyll x tav #halsin x tav #bg3 x tav #baldurs gate imagine #bg3 imagine #bg3 #hc #tw: periods #tw: blood #tw periods #tw blood

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lilacxquartz · 6 months

Text

Those Late Summer Nights | Chapter 2

Satoru Gojo x Fem!Reader x Suguru Geto

This is a dark yandere fic that will feature upsetting themes in the future and it is canon divergent. It is updated every Wednesday.

ABOUT: You moved to Tokyo over the summer to take a teaching job. As you get settled in, you find yourself entangled in a toxic dynamic.

CHAPTER SUMMARY: You ended up sharing just a little bit too much to the people you just met but you haven’t scared them off just yet. As a result, you quickly find yourself growing closer to the group.

< Previous Chapter • Next Chapter >

2. Fitting In

“Really?” Satoru interrupted you halfway through your sentence as you explained the small town life, his voice was quite loud at this point. “Not even a single cinema?”

The two of you were sitting quite closely as he had swapped seats with Shoko, who was idly chatting away to Suguru about something else for quite some time now. Your lacking childhood and bleak teenage years were something of interest to Satoru as it seemed as he took personal offence on your behalf whenever you got into the town details and your former student life.

“Yeah,” you nodded along, your tone was a little more relaxed now and you didn’t quite feel so intimidated by him now that you had a good flow going on, “you had to go into the city to do anything at all.”

“Which you’re telling me was also quite far?” he asked, seeming genuinely concerned.

“Yeah, so I guess I just… didn’t, not outside of field trips anyway,” you replied confirming his suspicions.

“That’s crazy,” he added, pouring you another glass again as you held onto the glass but just barely—were you supposed to tell him to stop at some point?

It felt embarrassing in a way to admit what your life was before coming here, but such towns weren’t too far from the norm in the country; the towns were safe and peaceful and sometimes even pretty, but they were boring unless you were a young child or just about to retire.

“Yeah, it was-“ you continued to nod along, your voice slurring just enough for Shoko to notice this and put a stop what she was doing at the opposite end to put the glass back on the table.

“—That’s enough, maybe,” she interrupted you, giving Satoru a disapproving look as she then glanced at the bottle.

“I think I can manage,” you tried to defend your state, feeling so warm and so liquified almost; all of your anxiety seemed to melt away and was replaced with gradually dizzying vision as your body swayed more than it should, but in such a pleasant way.

“Hey, I get it—I drink more when I have to talk to him too,” she smiled, trying to keep your attention, “but let’s all talk together, yeah?”

You quietly nodded as there was some truth to what she was saying. You initially drank more to get into the act of talking to Satoru because he was immediately too much, too questioning and by now you were perfectly tipsy, drunk even.

Maybe another drink would have been a mistake.

You trusted her for now, understanding that she was the binder between the two as she seemed to get along with both Suguru and Satoru in a deeply rooted way. Beyond anything you could understand at least. They must have all been friends for a very long time and if you were honest, you were pretty jealous of their established dynamic even if you didn’t let it show.

It wasn’t as if they made you feel like you were intruding on their space though, if anything, they were the opposite.

“So, you tired of talking about your town yet?” she asked as she let out a slight laugh, moving the hair out of your eyes as she leaned across the table, fixing your appearance up just a little.

“Yeah, I guess you could say,” you said, although unsure how to properly reply, “I can’t really find anything good to say about it.”

“Something happen there?” Suguru asked, swaying the conversation to a direction you weren’t quite ready to go.

But you trusted the company around you, at least currently. You definitely wanted to. It would be so nice if you could just belong for once and tell others your problems rather than keeping them bottled in.

Was it too soon, though?

You were too drunk to care about the consequences, anyway.

“It’s a small enough town that you, uh, become the talk of it if something happens, it’s not like Tokyo where you can hide in the crowd, it’s more like…” you replied as you tried to piece everything along, wondering if anyone picked up on your sudden nervousness already, if it was obvious from the start, “uh, I guess it was relatively clique-like? One dominant family was the most influential so if their kids didn’t like the other kids, then it was tough luck for them.”

“Oh, so you got bullied,” Satoru quickly understood, grunting immediately as Shoko seemingly kicked him from under the table.

“They were just regular people though, right?” Suguru asked as his eyes narrowed, “not sorcerers?”

“Oh yeah, yeah, I was the only sorcerer in town as far as I knew, so… it was just… yeah,” you confirmed.

“Did you get beaten up often or something?” Satoru asked as he tried to understand. It wasn’t that his tone mocked you, it just felt too real to acknowledge it in that way.

At least when Suguru asked, he was vague. You were quick to shake it off though, you didn’t know Satoru too well just yet and besides, you did have fun talking to him, so maybe there wasn’t anything rude about it.

How typical, though. A peculiar thought crossed your mind: even in the new city, your past still managed to follow you all the way there.

You were about to reply with something but you noticed Satoru grunt under the table again as this time Suguru stared at him.

“What’s up with the kicking?” Satoru whined.

“Don’t speedrun the newbie into an actual drinking problem,” Shoko scolded right away, “you can’t just ask people to talk about something like that, what if it was actually really bad…?”

“I’m not asking because I’m being an ass… for once,” he replied, quick to defend himself as he readjusted the clothes he wore, “I’m asking because I’m interested.”

“I-it’s fine,” you spoke up, feeling just a little shaky but you quickly shrugged it off — you wanted to talk about this, to get an outside perspective but it was difficult, “it started off verbally and then it became something completely different when we all became teens.”

You stared at the now empty glasses and wished for them to be full, but they weren’t, wondering where the glass that Shoko confiscated had gone off to.

As such, you sighed and took a deep breath as you continued.

“I changed schools by then and saw her less and less, so it wasn’t so bad nor frequent after a while, but it still happened, I guess.”

It wasn’t all too long before you were rambling off to the crowd that took you in and listened along, describing exactly what went on in the town up north. To Satoru’s credit, he didn’t mock you when you really got into it and as for the other two, they quietly listened as their eyes glued themselves onto yours. The way that their faces slowly changed ever so subtly as you described more and more of what you went through, the jaws clenching, the clearing throats and darkening stares — had made you at least feel like you weren’t as crazy as you thought.

It actually was that bad.

It felt validating, freeing to an extent albeit in a messed up way.

You described that final year of normal school in excruciating detail. You weren’t really sure whether to blame the parents for forcing their kid to go to the same school as everyone else for exposure or whatever it was or if it was just because she was a vile person from birth.

“Wait seriously, there’s more?” Satoru interrupted you ever so briefly to take a breather, his hands resting on your shoulders out of concern as he looked at you with those striking blue eyes.

“I’m almost done,” you assured.

In his defence, he wasn’t wrong about it being a lot. Maybe it actually was too much. You had so far explained the build up of cruelty that Yui, the said bully in question, had slowly kept adding onto. Things like stealing your school uniform after gym class so you wouldn’t have anything to change back into or taking away your towels after using the school pool, so that you’d be stranded naked in the showers. Things like sneaking laxatives into your food and having unfavourable things happen to you during class as a result and convincing the other kids that you weren’t worthy of kindness, even your own friends.

You were soon onto the more extreme explanations now, so things like pushing you face first into a puddle and walking over you as your nostrils filled with water, tripping you up as you walked regardless, pushing you into the road with cars on the way, the playground incident and the like.

You weren’t really sure why you were hated all that much, but you could at least explain every single thing that happened with such detail as clear as the days they all had happened on.

“How much more?” He asked.

“There’s a final thing she did, but it tops everything,” you said slowly, making sure you could describe it despite being inebriated, “well, two final things.”

You didn’t really want to share the actual details to the night she actually ruined your life. Maybe one day, but not just yet. For now, you’d settle on something else she did, really bad but not as severe.

“Hey, you don’t have to if you don’t want to?” Shoko was quick to say, even if she did lean forward a little to listen better.

“I think I want to? But it’s just I don’t want to make things weird or anything…” you replied, mulling the idea that you already did by sharing so much.

“You’re fine,” Suguru assured, his brief yet telling response somehow easing your concerns.

“It can’t get worse than the swing chain around your neck, can it?” Satoru asked.

“Well, during cooking classes for like, the life skill classes, the teacher stepped out of the room while we were using the hot plates to make… something? Stew I think?” you started to remember.

“Uh-oh,” Satoru immediately understood as everyone else’s expressions seemed to tighten.

“Basically,” you worked your way into it, thinking would it be better to rip the band aid off right away as opposed to letting it drag on for too long, “she pushed me onto the hot plate, not only spilling the contents of the pot but burning a good portion of my arm. She held me down there for a while too as her friends helped.”

The collective silence that brewed at the table was strangely loud. You gulped as gripped at the sleeve of the arm in question. Nobody thankfully asked to see the scar, but you did notice that Suguru kept his eyes pointed at where your fingers fidgeted.

“So uh, that’s the gist of what happened,” you added, feeling suddenly nervous as the collective silence brewed. Nobody said anything for a while which added to your quickly building concern.

“These are the people we’re supposed to protect?” Suguru finally asked, taking his eyes off of your arm at last and breaking the silence.

Nobody replied.

“And then finally there was… one more thing… maybe I shouldn’t say…” you trailed off, the drink from before beginning to hit you all too well as it finally settled. Suddenly you couldn’t remember what you thought just moments ago, the eyes on you suddenly focused and concerned as your vision dizzied a little too much.

It was then that your memory blanked, succumbing to meet the end of the night at last.

At least you didn’t say the final thing, or did you?

***

You woke up much later in a bright and airy room that smelled like a mix of fabric softener and stale booze. The window was cracked open slightly as warm summer air spilled in through mesh netting, soothing your pounding headache.

Your body turned as you slowly woke up, feeling someone else rest beside you. Your heart sank for a moment as you peered under the covers revealing that you were partially undressed, but not quite naked.

What happened last night exactly?

It was then that the person in question turned around in their sleep and you realised that you must have been in Shoko’s room as you were sharing her bed with her. You sighed in relief as you put the two together, understanding that you probably crashed at hers because nobody knows where you live just yet and you probably didn’t do a good job of explaining that last night being as out of it as you were.

You studied her a little as she slept so peacefully beside you, her arms hugging a pillow to her chest. She was also partially dressed down; a spaghetti strap camisole in a marine blue floral design that ruched at her midriff, exposing her waist just a little and a pair of underwear. Her legs were fully entangled in a blanket that piled at the end of the bed so she was quite exposed, but it was also summer and therefore quite stuffy in the bedroom.

You slowly sat up in the bed, cursing internally at your headache. So this was what heavy drinking was like. You wondered just how long it would take before you were going to do this to yourself again.

The feeling was nice at the time.

The aftermath however…

You spotted your clothes in a messy pile at the foot of the bed, but upon picking them up, they smelled quite bad. You held the top to your nose as you investigated the stench, your expression soured; was that vomit?

Shoko stirred a little in her sleep, her hand raising itself and waving to you as she snapped her fingers to catch your attention as she groaned.

“You had a bit too much last night and couldn’t hold it down so you’re out of clothes for the day,” she yawned as her hand now pointed at the dresser opposite the bed, “second drawer down, you can wear anything you find in there.”

You did as she told you, rummaging through the drawer until you found something you could see yourself being comfortable in. You ended up pulling out a collection of oversized t-shirts and sweatpants, choosing the one with the longest sleeves.

“Oh and-“ she croaked again, her voice sounding tired, “there’s a washing machine in the bathroom, feel free to use it and throw in my clothes too if you end up doing so.”

“Alright,” you said as you quietly nodded along, feeling the headache taunt you as you bobbed your head. You gathered your things off of the floor and took a step outside as soon as you were clothed to do just that.

Figuring out the machine was easy but what exactly were you supposed to do now? You didn’t really know what to do in situations like these as they never have happened to you before. You sighed as you felt lost, sitting down at the kitchen table with your elbows resting against the table, your palms pushing against your cheeks.

You stared on and off at the coffee machine wondering if it would ease your pounding headache, hearing somewhere before that it can help, wondering at the same time if you could get away with making some or if it was overstepping some unspoken boundary.

As you were deep in thought, a yawning male voice caught your attention as a half asleep Suguru now emerged from the adjacent bedroom to Shoko’s. You watched in an equally tired state as he pulled his loose hair back into a messy half pony tail as he walked into the main area.

“You’re up earlier than I expected,” he yawned, his voice an octave deeper than it was last night as he walked over to the bathroom, not quite closing the door as he used it.

Was this normal?

You weren’t even going to ask.

“The first time I drank so heavily, I was out for a couple of days at least, but then again it was probably a lot more than you had,” he yawned.

Do you dare reply to someone who was just casually using the bathroom? You quickly sighed, deciding to not make it weird and just replied to him as normal.

“Yeah, I guess I couldn’t sleep,” you replied.

“Fair enough,” he said as he left the bathroom after washing his hands, walking to the kitchenette to grab a couple of slices of bread from the bag on the counter, “you’re free to use her kitchen by the way, just replace things if they’re nearly out.”

You nodded as you stared at the coffee machine, your body begging for a little pick me up.

“However,” he quickly interjected as he glanced at the coffee machine as well, “I do recommend something dry and absorbent, like toast,” he said as tossed you a slice that you barely caught, “coffee will only make your headache worse.”

“Oh,” you replied as you took a bite of the toast, going along with it without really questioning it at all. You did find that you quickly now craved water, though.

“Good morning~!” another voice sung from the room that Suguru was just inside of, your mind automatically recognising it as Satoru’s. He seemed freshly chipper as he strolled causally out of the room, as if the many more drinks he had somehow just passed right through.

Suguru’s eyes widened as he guarded his toast slice, diving for a spot on the nearby sofa that Satoru had his eye on, tearing away a part of the toast as he leaped to claim the spot.

“You ass, I swear t-“ Suguru muttered, eating his remaining scrap in a hurry.

“—So, [name], you got really messed up last night, huh?” Satoru spoke as he patted the empty seat space behind him, encouraging you to take a seat with the two of them but you remained sat at the table instead.

“I-I probably shouldn’t have taken it so far,” you replied as your mind blanked out into the distance, realising that you probably spoke just a little too much about things you shouldn’t have shared yesterday night.

“You’ll get used to it as your tolerance grows.” Suguru said, wiping the crumbs off of his hand and onto Satoru. “Listen to your body with the cravings on recovery days, it’ll help.”

“Do you remember much?” the white haired one asked, retaining a slightly condescending smile that seemed almost deceptively friendly.

Was it all in your head? Or was he actually hiding something?

“Only a little,” you replied, trying to keep it vague, “I talked about the town and I mentioned the bu-“

“—The bully, that’s right,” he said, cutting you off and silencing you just a little. You felt less encouraged to continue talking as a result.

“I went that far, huh,” you sighed, regretting oversharing so much.

“I mean, it’s fine,” Satoru settled down, perhaps noticing your suddenly sunken demeanour, “you don’t have to go back to that place ever again,” he paused, his tone shifting to something that resembled concern, “do you?”

“Only for birthdays and holidays,” you replied a little too soon and then paused, words felt a little more difficult to speak today, “my dad is having his birthday in late June, so I’ll probably have to go there again pretty soon.”

It was the one thing you agreed upon with your parents when leaving the town. Birthdays and holidays as well as keeping them semi updated with texts, just to show you were actually alive.

He seemed to frown at that possibility, his unserious composition breaking away for a moment as his friend also seemed a little uncomfortable. You didn’t remember just how much detail you went, but you could tell that it was far enough based on their reactions.

A short moment later, Shoko emerged from her bedroom at last. She dressed up similarly to you, going straight for the coffee machine anyway as Suguru narrowed his eyes in disapproval.

“Why am I always the last one up?” she half-jokingly complained as she got started on a cup, the machine vibrating against the counter.

“[name] was up first, so it wasn’t me for once.” Suguru said as he leaned back into the sofa further, his legs spreading further out as he pushed Satoru off to the side.

“She probably got snored awake by Shoko-“ Satoru laughed, his eyes bouncing back and forth between you both.

“—Ah, n-no it wasn’t anything like that, just-“ you stammered before you were promptly cut off.

“—I’m joking, I promise,” Satoru assured you, perhaps finally catching on that his personality was a little too much for you to handle so soon, “it’s just that you clung to her all night, so we already know who wins the favourites’ competition.”

“And you’re surprised, why?” Shoko asked as she took a sip from the now full mug.

You zoned out a little as they all talked amongst themselves, once again feeling a little left out but also not quite caring as the headache from the counter was what was on your mind instead.

She did quickly notice this though as she walked up to you as soon as she finished her cup, dragging you to the front door as she threw you a pair of slippers, leading you outside of the apartment and up the stairs.

You were led to what seemed to be a rooftop, giving you an idea of the place she lived in with more clarity; assorted communal pots of growing herbs likely set up by the other residents, along with makeshift greenhouses and benches also occupying the roof. She led you towards the corner of it all, taking a saucer out from beneath a terracotta planter.

The plant that grew in the pot looked suspiciously dead as cigarette butts occupied the soil.

Her hands patted down the hoodie she was wearing before pinching out a cigarette, no, two cigarettes as she propped one of them between her lips, holding the other one out to you.

“I-I don’t really smoke.“ You replied, waving your hands in response but her hand persisted as she slowly drew it towards you, staring you right in the eyes, lighting both hers and your own without a second thought.

“Good, you’re learning to keep up,” she said, eyeing you up and down, “maybe you’ll survive out here after all.”

You weren’t quite sure how to reply as you watched her lean towards the rooftop, her elbows resting along the bricked edge. The clear blue sky and warm sunny glow made the hangover a little easier as the soft breeze flickered against your bare skin.

You inhaled the cigarette slowly, coughing just a little. You weren’t going to smoke again you decided, or at least not unless you had no choice.

“They’re not so bad, I promise, the guys I mean,” Shoko spoke after a while as her head dipped below her shoulders, “we’ve all been through a lot too, but they just don’t really know how to react to you just yet and you’re not the easiest person to read.”

You stayed silent again, unsure if this was meant to be an insult or not. You bitterly inhaled the cigarette instead.

“Not meaning to drag you down or anything, if you think that’s where I'm going with it,” she continued, noticing your reaction, “it’s just been a while since we’ve had a new addition to the group and we’re all so used to losing people, so it’s a way to keep our guard up, if anything.”

“Oh, yeah, I think I get it,” you nodded along as you listened in. It was nice to talk to someone your own age regardless and maybe she was what you needed to finally grow up. Someone who wasn’t afraid to tell you the harsh truth when you needed to hear it.

“Mhm,” she hummed as she took a deep inhale and then exhaled a puff of smoke, “Satoru acts the way that he does because he never got a carefree childhood while being told that he’s the strongest. Suguru is reserved for his own reasons but he’s good to the people that he cares about.”

“And you?” you asked.

“Me…” she laughed, pushing the cigarette butt into the saucer, “…ah, good question,” she sighed as she searched for a suitable response, “I’m not really sure, I guess I’m just neutral, I care about the people I keep close but I try to let them figure it out by themselves if it’s something too personal.”

“I guess I haven’t figured out what I am yet,” you admitted, “I’m bad at wording most of the things I do but I am trying to change that.”

“Yeah?” she asked, yawning a little,” I’m sure it’ll get easier as you find your way, we’ll get along regardless.”

“You really think?”

“I mean, I won’t be around much after the summer break but it’ll be nice to know that there’s someone I can get along with for the time I have off,” she replied as she walked back to the roof entry, “but just try to relax and let everything else happen naturally, yeah?”

It took you a while before you headed back as well, trying to remember what floor and what door number her flat was on.

Maybe you should have followed immediately?

Or at least asked.

30 B was it?

You took a deep breath and chanced it, passing by Suguru on the way back inside. He had an unlit cigarette poking out of his mouth.

You both passed through the doorway and squeezed uncomfortably close by each other, neither quite using common sense as you brushed each other by.

For a brief moment it looked like he wanted to say something, but by then you were already halfway down the stairs so he had no choice but to just keep quiet.

But maybe next time?

He was curious about you, after all.

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kpopfanfictrash · 2 years

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Love to Hate (Extra Scene III: Jungkook’s POV)

Author: kpopfanfictrash

Genre: Fuck Buddies / Enemies to Lovers

Pairing: Jungkook / Reader

Synopsis: Born with a silver spoon in your mouth, you've done your best to rid yourself of the taste since you were old enough to walk. Occasionally though, your mother manages to rope you into an obligatory function – or a blind date with playboy billionaire, Jeon Jungkook. Jungkook stands for everything you loathe about the world you left behind, but you can’t deny the spark of attraction between you. Intrigued by the promise of mutual satisfaction, you agree to one night in bed… and quickly realize you’re in far, far deeper than you ever intended.

Author’s Note: This scene takes place during Chapter 7 of Love to Hate and is told from Jungkook’s point of view. PLEASE READ THE ENTIRE STORY BEFORE READING THIS SCENE (otherwise there will be spoilers lol).

Rating: 18+

Warnings: semi-public sex, breast play, fingering, dirty talk (hypothetical cum play, possessiveness), spanking, multiple orgasms, somewhat rough sex

Word Count: 8,704

“If this trend were to continue, I’m not certain how we could keep up with production. This would obviously pose a problem for our shareholders, so let’s brainstorm solutions before the next quarterly call. Does that work for you, Mr. Jeon?”

A long, pregnant pause.

“Mr. Jeon?”

Beneath the table, Namjoon gives a not-so-subtle kick to Jungkook’s kneecap. Jerking upright, Jungkook glances around to cover his recent lapse. Based on Namjoon’s glare, his attempt must not pass muster.

“I – yes.” Jungkook nods, hoping he hasn’t agreed to something terrible. “That works for me. Thank you.”

The woman pauses, clearly unused to being thanked by the CEO. “Of course, Mr. Jeon,” she says, recovering quickly to take her seat.

Fingers tapping the acrylic table, Jungkook glances as covertly as he can at the clock. A wave of panic washes over him when he realizes the meeting has nearly ended since Jungkook doesn’t remember a single discussion. Unusual, for a man who insists on booking his own travel because he doesn’t trust anyone else to find the best deal.

It’s not like Jungkook to be distracted, or to not pay attention to detail. A swift glance at his notebook proves equally damning. Usually, Jungkook takes careful notes but today, the only thing written is the date at the header.

Subtly, Jungkook straightens. Forcing himself to concentrate, he listens to the rest of the updates. Someone from Info Security briefs Jungkook on a new phishing attack. A woman from Finance updates them on the search for a new travel vendor. Jungkook listens closely, responding when needed but can feel Namjoon’s gaze on his cheek the rest of the meeting.

Knowing his COO, Namjoon has some thoughts about Jungkook drifting off. It’s for this reason that Jungkook hangs back once the meeting has finished. Namjoon also stays, waiting until the last person files out before swiveling sideways, exhaling in a way which implies years of exhaustion.

“Tissue?” Jungkook offers blithely.

Namjoon fixes him with a look. “No, thanks. What’s going on?”

“I’m… not sure what you mean.”

Brows lifted, Namjoon pushes himself to stand. “Yes, you do.” Lifting his laptop, he walks around the table. “For weeks now, you’ve been distracted. Years of planning and here we are, in the home stretch but somehow, it feels like I’m alone. Tell me what’s going on – and don’t,” Namjoon adds, a note of warning to his voice, “say this is all in my head.”

Jungkook closes his mouth, about to say just that.

Sinking into his seat, Jungkook searches for a response because Namjoon is right. Something has been going on and Jungkook has been distracted. Ever since the dinner at Aleve, Jungkook hasn’t been himself. Realizing his fingers have resumed tapping the table, Jungkook forces himself to stop.

Two weeks have passed since he last spoke to you at Aleve. Two weeks of pretending neither of you cares about the other. Unless you really don’t care, and Jungkook is the only one who’s pretending.

Thoughts souring, Jungkook considers the possibility. Fighting the tide of memory is useless – as soon he thinks of your name, Jungkook disappears. He remembers the last time he saw you, entering Aleve with his father and Namjoon. Hearing your laughter from across the room, craning his neck only to find you with Liam Jessen. Jungkook’s worst enemy, smiling at you like you were the only person in the room.

Jungkook tried to recover after that, tried not to think about it – a plan swiftly dashed when he ran into you outside the bathroom. Cheeks hot, Jungkook once more relives that brutal interaction.

It doesn’t matter who you sleep with. I know you’ll call as soon as you realize they’re just as boring as every man before me.

Jungkook was jealous, but there’s no excuse for what he said. Your response was equally cutting, reducing whatever had been between you to sex. Jungkook should have pressed harder, but imposter syndrome stepped in and all he could do was agree.

Now, a voice in the back of his mind – which sounds suspiciously like Yoongi – whispers that Jungkook pushes people away to see if they’ll come back. Unfair, whispers that same voice. True relationships don’t keep score. You shouldn’t be guilted into admitting your feelings before Jungkook deigns to tell you his.

It’s no wonder you haven’t reached out, proving the second half of his statement incorrect. You haven’t felt the need to call him since Liam. Instead of lashing out, Jungkook should have just told you how he felt. Maybe then, he’d be seeing you tonight instead of facing yet another night alone in his apartment. Wondering if you’re by yourself or out there with Liam.

Swallowing hard, Jungkook pushes the thought away. Realizing his fingers have resumed their tapping, Jungkook lays his palm flat on the table. “I’m sorry,” he exhales and looks up. “I… know I’ve been distracted. I’ll make it up to you. I promise.”

Concern knits Namjoon’s brow. “That’s not – I wasn’t trying to get you to apologize, man. I genuinely want to know what’s going on. Are you alright?”

These simple words dissolve the barrier between Jungkook’s mind and his mouth. Embarrassing, how fast genuine concern can make Jungkook break down. His father would have had something to say about it – which probably means Jungkook shouldn’t be embarrassed about the reaction.

“No,” he admits. “Everything isn’t okay – but it will be. Soon. I know I’ve been distracted, but I promise to do better.”

Namjoon looks at him wryly. “Who are they?”

Jungkook blinks. “Huh?”

Laughing to himself, Namjoon takes the seat beside him. “Whoever it is that has you in shambles,” he continues. “This conference room is dry, otherwise I’d offer you a stiff drink. Feels like we should imbibe if we have to talk about feelings.”

Jungkook can’t help but smile. “That obvious, huh?”

“Only to those who’ve been there before.”

Leaning back in his seat, Jungkook tilts his head. He and Namjoon have been friends for years, although their friendship began as a business relationship. Namjoon wasn’t around for the less savory parts of his life; the years when Jungkook was drunk more often than not and took nothing about this company seriously.

Other people remember though, and Jungkook has had to work to turn his image around. Even now, his father’s media headlines haunt his footsteps – although these have recently ceased since Jungkook became CEO. You’re a distraction to his work by any definition, drawing Jungkook’s attention away from the company. Especially so if Namjoon has noticed.

“Can I give you some advice?” Namjoon offers, steepling long fingers before him.

Jungkook lifts a brow. “If I said no, would that stop you?”

“Probably not.”

“Then, sure. Go ahead.”

Namjoon leans in. “Don’t let this fester.”

“What?”

“Whatever it is that’s been bothering you.” Namjoon lowers his hands. “Don’t let things linger – fix the situation before it’s too late. My mom always says not to go to bed angry and in this case, I agree with her.”

Jungkook considers. “When would you not agree with that statement?”

“If you’re both drunk and neither one of you are making any sense.”

“Huh.” He nods. “Valid.”

“Anyways,” Namjoon sighs. “I’ve been paying attention to you this week, and whatever’s going on hasn’t gotten any better. Rather than keep going, you should make a change.”

“A change to… what?”

“Hell, if I know.” Namjoon lifts a shoulder and lets it fall. “I only know the bare minimum of information about your situation.”

“Fair point.” Jungkook exhales, pushing a hand through his hair.

Shoving his chair back to stand, Namjoon adjusts his suit jacket. Scooping his laptop from the table, he heads for the door only to pause on the threshold, looking as though he’s debating whether to say something or not.

Evidently, saying the thing wins out and he straightens. “You know you can delegate, right?” Namjoon says, leveling Jungkook with a look. “Today’s meeting, for example. You probably don’t need to hear every update from every department. Let your CFO talk to Finance and tell you if something’s important.”

The furrow between Jungkook’s brows deepens. “You’re probably right,” he allows.

Truthfully, Jungkook is struggling to find his management style. His father ruled through fear and the occasional carrot. Jungkook wants to make his own mark on the company and have his employees work because they actually want to, but this is proving more difficult to achieve than he thought.

“Just a thought.” Namjoon shrugs, slapping the door before disappearing down the hall. Jungkook is left alone, the clock on the wall the only sound apart from his thoughts.

Exhaling lowly, he stares at his hands atop the acrylic table. On his right, the sun has gradually sunk towards the horizon. Today is Friday, meaning most of his staff has gone home by now. Their weekly report-out is usually the last meeting on people’s calendars. Jungkook rarely leaves before the sun sets, though. He uses his time in the evening to respond to his emails.

Namjoon is probably right about delegating. Afraid of being seen as an absentee leader, Jungkook has joined every meeting for every direct report since the Board voted him in as CEO. It’s probably time for him to relax the reins, or else be seen as a micromanager.

Releasing a breath, Jungkook pulls his notepad closer. His cell phone sits beside him on the table, stubbornly silent since the start of the meeting. Jungkook doesn’t bother to check if you’ve texted, since he already knows the answer.

Since Aleve, you’ve been quiet.

Things were awkward before then though if he’s being honest. When you called Jungkook the night prior and asked him to stay, he nearly jumped at the chance. Despite having a Board meeting the next day and mountains of paperwork to do – the moment you called, Jungkook came. The truth of the matter was he wouldn’t turn down any opportunity to see you, no matter the consequences.

Jungkook should’ve known then that he was in trouble, but he didn’t fully realize until the next day. When he awoke and saw your face limned by sunlight, Jungkook knew things had gone further than he intended.

He had feelings for you. Strong feelings. Feelings Jungkook had never experienced, and ones which put him in danger because they broke all your rules. This was also the moment panic set in – you’d been more than clear about what would happen if he broke a rule. Jungkook had fallen for the one person he’d promised not to – and so he ran away.

Later, he texted a casual thank you. Jungkook tried to pull back, tried to disguise his true feelings so you wouldn’t suspect things had changed. Somehow though, this only seemed to make things worse. The voice in his head whispers Jungkook did it on purpose – shut you down before you could tell him to go.

Eyes closed, Jungkook swivels in his chair. Namjoon is right. He should call you, but the thought of picking up the phone and putting his heart on the line seems insurmountable. It’s nearly six o clock on a Friday, anyways – more than likely, you’re out with your friends.

Jungkook’s throat tightens. Or possibly out on another date with Liam.

Pushing his chair back, Jungkook reaches for his notebook. Over a month has gone by since he ran into Liam at your fundraiser – it seems impossible for feelings to have developed in such a short time. Then again, Jungkook didn’t feel this way about you a month ago. Hell, he was in denial of his feelings up until your apartment.

Now that he knows though, it’s up to Jungkook to confess before it’s too late. Even if you are hooking up with Liam, that would be better than if you developed feelings for him. This depressing turn of thought is thankfully interrupted by Jungkook’s phone buzzing.

Withdrawing this, he hopes for your name only to be disappointed by the truncated line of text. Exhaling lowly, Jungkook swipes.

Dad: You need to attend the Y/L/N’s anniversary party tomorrow evening. Unexpected business out of town – will be gone until Monday. Sign my name in the card, thx [6:36 PM]

Frown deepening, Jungkook pockets his phone. Just like his father to expect him to drop everything and attend to the family business. If the Board vote on company strategy weren’t imminent, Jungkook would likely tell his father to go to hell.

There’s also the fact that your family name is in the text – Y/L/N. This party is being thrown by your parents, which means you might attend. Coming to a stop before his office, Jungkook is struck by the possibility this could work in his favor.

Rather than chase you down, he could show up at the party and see your reaction. Something to inform him whether his feelings are returned before placing it all on the line.

Jungkook knows that feelings shouldn’t be conditional. That if he wants to confess, he should just do it, but Jungkook manages to push the voice aside. Already building a plan for tomorrow, he strides into his office and lets the door shut.

All day long, Jungkook debates what time to arrive. Get there too soon, and he might scare you off. Arrive late enough and he could miss you entirely. You haven’t been shy about the feelings you hold for your parents, and Jungkook doubts you’ll stay long.

In the end, he exits his town car a half hour late, but Jungkook needn’t have worried: you’re nowhere to be found. Deflating slightly, Jungkook wanders inside and orders a drink from a bar. Turning to face the ballroom, he swirls his whiskey while scanning the floor.

The party is indistinguishable from any other society event, doing little to recommend it in Jungkook’s opinion. Pulling himself from the bar, Jungkook engages in small talk while making the rounds and keeping one eye on the door.

Nearly an hour passes, and Jungkook finds himself trapped in conversation with one of his father’s close friends. Laura something or other; Jungkook can’t recall her surname. Nodding while listening, Jungkook tunes Laura out while she prattles on about her new diamond mine.

“Have you been there?” Laura prompts, forcing him into the conversation.

“Hm?” Jungkook lifts a brow. “No, I’m afraid not.”

A risk, since he didn’t hear where Laura mentioned, but a negative answer discourages follow-up. Or so it would seem. With Laura though, this prompts a soliloquy about the benefits of Cannes in the fall. As soon as he considers it polite to do so, Jungkook excuses himself and heads once more for the bar.

He’s nearly made it when the crowd parts and time seems to slow as you enter the ballroom. Dressed in a gown of midnight blue, you throw your head back and laugh – and Jungkook’s gaze drifts sideways to land on Liam Jessen.

His feet turn to ice. Coming to a stop, Jungkook can’t help but stare at the sight of your arm intertwined with his. You look beautiful, but then again, you always do. Gown sweeping the floor, you’re nothing short of ethereal and seeing you on the arm of another man slices Jungkook’s chest open.

When you look at Liam and smile, the pounding of Jungkook’s heart drowns out all thought. Grasping ahold of himself, Jungkook spins around to stalk across the floor. He can’t see you like this. Can’t talk to you calmly when you’re here with Liam.

Dropping his glass on the bar counter, Jungkook asks for a whiskey and waits while it’s poured. Staring down at his hand, he regains control of his breathing.

You came here with Liam.

You came tonight with a date, and that date is Liam. Sluggishly, Jungkook tries to separate the two thoughts, but they continue to attract like opposing magnets. Discomfort prickles in the back of his mind, putting two and two together. Your rules resurface, unasked and unwanted.

Number one, no discussion of personal lives (broken several times over). Number two, always use protection and get tested monthly for STDs. Number three, that you’re not exclusive. Number four, that either of you are free to end things any time, and rule number five, that your parents can’t find out.

It’s the fifth rule which has Jungkook’s stomach in knots. He assumed you didn’t want to tell your parents because you’re estranged and dating anyone from their world would bring complications. Which makes sense, if Jungkook and you were just having sex. Complications are the antithesis of that type of thing.

For you not to have similar reservations about Liam means things between you are different. That possibly you think Liam is worth the hassle. Unable to contemplate any meaning beyond this, Jungkook’s thoughts curdle and sour.

The bartender finishes pouring, and Jungkook accepts this without comment to chug a third. Setting this back down, Jungkook wipes his mouth with the back of one hand. Exhaling, he considers the options before him.

You haven’t seen him, which means that Jungkook could leave. His father might be angry, but frankly, that’s the least of Jungkook’s concerns. The more Jungkook ponders, the more appealing this seems, and the more his resolve hardens.

Draining another third, Jungkook turns around and spots you across the room. You stand beside a different bar, smiling at something your brother just said. White-hot jealousy licks Jungkook’s stomach, seeing you introduce Liam to your family.

The rest of his drink disappears, and Jungkook places the empty glass on the counter, sliding the bartender a fifty. Adjusting his suit jacket, he skirts the edge of the room as he heads for the door.

Your face burns in his mind. Standing between your brother and Liam, you seemed almost happy. Buoyant. Without a care in the world. Exactly the opposite of how Jungkook feels now. Clearly, you haven’t been missing him during your time apart.

Forcing his expression to neutrality, Jungkook crosses the rest of the room. He’s nearly made it to the hallway when a man steps into his path.

“Jungkook!” Reaching for his hand, the man clasps this tightly. “What a surprise – fancy seeing you here instead of your father. Seems like the regime change is in full swing, eh?”

With great effort, Jungkook slows his stride. The man is Charles Smith – a valuable ally, and one of the few Fortune 500 companies willing to invest in clean energy. Namjoon has drafted numerous proposals for their companies working together, which means Jungkook can’t afford to alienate him at such a crucial time.

Forcing a smile, Jungkook comes to a stop. “Something like that,” he says smoothly, shaking his hand. “How are you this evening, Charles?”

“Oh, Chuck is fine. I’m swell,” he says, withdrawing his hand to swirl his gin. “The doctor keeps telling me not to drink, but we’ve all got to die sometime – right?”

“Right,” Jungkook agrees, though his gaze darts towards the hall.

Unfortunately, this means you’re forced in his path. You’ve left the bar and now stand beside your mother, your expression aggravated in a way Jungkook can understand. When your gaze locks with his, you go completely still.

Even if Jungkook didn’t know who your companion was, he’d know you were related. Something about your bearing, the confident way you stand screams familial relation. You probably wouldn’t like hearing that, but traits by themselves aren’t bad. It’s what you do with them that matters.

While your mother seems unimpressed by her surroundings, you look visibly frustrated. Jungkook isn’t sure why and probably shouldn’t care to find out. Your familial problems are none of his concern.

Turning around, Jungkook thanks Charles for his time before he moves on. Your worried face refuses to dissipate from mind though, despite his best efforts. Eventually, Jungkook exhales and turns – only to notice Liam is still with you. Feet pausing, Jungkook finds himself feeling foolish for the second time that night.

Grasping you by the arm, your mother returns you to their circle – completing the image of a picture-perfect family. Idiot, Jungkook curses, disappearing again. Foolish to not hear what you said, to ignore the many, many times you’ve placed boundaries between you.

Jungkook’s inner voice delights in his anguish, strengthened by the ache in his heart. Not good enough for your father, not good enough for Y/N, the voice muses. How can you hope for a serious relationship when you’ve never been in one before? Liam might be an ass, but at least he has ambition. He made something of himself, rather than spend so many years drowning in self-pity.

As cruel as the thought is, it’s not entirely wrong. Liam has more in common with you than Jungkook would like to admit – you’ve known from a young age what you wanted, just like Liam. Liam wasn’t born into wealth; his family doesn’t exist within the same social circle. It almost makes sense, the idea of you dating.

Liam betrayed Jungkook’s confidence once, but they were both young then. Naïve. Maybe Liam has changed since the internship – God knows, Jungkook has.

Returning his thoughts to present, Jungkook reaches the valet. Ultimately, you brought Liam to meet your parents and not Jungkook. Whether this means you have feelings for Liam or can’t see a future with Jungkook – either way, the result is the same.

Jungkook supposes he can’t blame you for that. Jeon Energy is the Goliath to your David. Until Jungkook’s proposal is approved by the Board, the direction of Jeon Energy remains the same. Dating him would go against everything you believe in. It isn’t as though Jungkook has let you in on his plans or allowed you to think better of him in any way.

While waiting for his car to arrive, Jungkook keeps both hands in his pockets. The fact that you brought Liam means Rule Number Four can’t be far behind. The rule which allows either of you to end things between you. Jungkook recalls how he scoffed at this rule, certain it wouldn’t be necessary for either one of you.

In his experience, interest rarely lasts longer than a month. Jungkook figured your spark would fizzle and die, that you’d gradually stop calling and there’d be no hard feelings. Now, he can’t help but wonder at how foolish he was.

Jungkook needs to end this before you can.

By ending things first, it’d allow Jungkook to keep some of his dignity. It would also give you an out, alleviating you from pressure of letting him down. If anything, Jungkook imagines you’ll feel some relief. This way, you don’t have to explain about Liam.

Flipping his keys, Jungkook is staring into the night when footsteps approach.

Turning his head, he watches the moment you enter the hall. A vision in blue, fabric drifting around your legs as you come to a stop. For a moment, Jungkook wonders if you’re here to see him before banishing the notion as dangerous.

“Hi,” you exhale, your voice carrying through the hall.

Brow furrowing, Jungkook wonders why you came. Maybe Liam is close behind, ready to leave with you in his car.

“Hi,” Jungkook exhales, his chest tight.

Glancing over his shoulder, you search for someone, and Jungkook’s confusion grows. Everyone else remains at the party. Distractedly, Jungkook wonders if you saw him leave and came to check on him. The thought of your pity makes his neck heat.

“Can we talk?” you ask at last, meeting his gaze.

Jungkook pauses, at war with himself. If he agrees, he’d be moving up the timeline of your conversation. Not to mention the fact that merely the sight of you loosens his resolve. If you were to talk now, who knows what he’d say.

“I…” Jungkook hesitates, certain he should say no. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea, Y/N.”

Something flares in your gaze. “I didn’t say it was a good idea. I said I wanted to talk.”

Jungkook is forced to press his lips together to keep from laughing. It’s just such a you thing to say that against his better judgement, Jungkook finds himself nodding. Despite knowing this will hurt more tomorrow, Jungkook gives in.

Taking him by the arm, you tug him down the hall. Jungkook follows closely behind, unceremoniously dragged while you find a suitable room. Pulling open a door, you shove Jungkook in, flicking the light switch to quickly follow suit.

Your dress settles around you, nose nearly pressed to his in the dim light of the closet. Jungkook’s heart pounds, overloud in such a small space. Your scent wraps around him, body and soul, pulling him in when he should run away. It muddies what he came here to tell you, causes him to forget that you’re breaking his heart.

Unable to breathe, Jungkook looks at the door. Then, at your ear. Anywhere but at your gaze, which can see right through him.

Eventually, the silence moves him to speak. “You wanted to talk?” Jungkook asks, careful to keep his tone neutral.

You blink in amazement. “That’s… all you have to say?”

Jungkook notices you’re holding his wrist at the same time you do. Dropping him as though burned, you take a step backwards and your spine hits the door. This rejection stings more than Jungkook would like to admit.

“Well, I was about to leave,” he says stiffly, and meets your gaze.

He wishes he hadn’t when your eyes narrow, full of fire. It’s unfair of you to look at him like that. Unfair to look at him at all when you came here with Liam and again, Jungkook wonders why you’re here.

“Fine, then,” you huff. “I’ll speak.”

Jungkook’s heart aches when he hears the clear hurt in your voice. As infuriating as tonight has been, Jungkook had every opportunity to say how he felt weeks ago. Hell, he could have called yesterday, but he didn’t. Instead, Jungkook showed up tonight and expected to be met with your praise.

Folding your arms across your chest, you fix Jungkook with a glare. “I haven’t heard from you in a while,” you exhale.

Jungkook hesitates, unsure how to respond. You came here tonight with Liam, so it doesn’t make sense for you to pull him aside for small talk. To chase him towards his car only to ask Jungkook how he’s been.

Forcing his expression to remain neutral, Jungkook searches for an answer that’s least embarrassing. Or incriminating.

“I’ve been out of town,” he says at last.

You study his face. “Business trip?”

“Yes. Amongst other things.”

It’s mostly true. Jungkook and Namjoon have been traveling across the country, securing their plans for the upcoming Board meeting. You don’t know anything about that though, so his answer remains vague.

“Seems awfully sudden,” you observe.

Realizing his jaw is clenched, Jungkook forces himself to relax. The fact that you’re here, mad at him when you came with Liam is beyond infuriating. “I can’t help but notice,” he says, voice dropping, “you didn’t text me either. Or did I miss your messages?”

Something in your expression falters, but you recover quickly to step closer. Breath held, Jungkook looks you up and down. Everything about your body language screams anger, but this can’t be right. You’ve been dating Liam for weeks, have introduced him to your parents which means a breakup with Jungkook can’t be far behind – right?

“No, you didn’t,” you admit.

Jungkook’s resolve hardens. “So, I have to assume you didn’t want to see me.”

His voice comes out calmer than he is though, and the irrationality of your discussion spurs a wave of uncertainty. You didn’t text Jungkook; he didn’t text you. Both of you ignored the other and now, here you are. That part makes sense, no matter how uncomfortable.

What Jungkook can’t explain is why you ran after him. Why you pulled him aside and wanted to talk. None of what you’re saying matters if you’re planning to end things – unless you’re not. A wild spark of hope catches, and Jungkook smothers it quickly.

“I was waiting,” you blurt out, incredulous. “After all the weirdness at the restaurant, I was waiting for you to reach out to me!”

Jungkook’s thoughts stutter, then resume. You wanted him to reach out. Of course, that doesn’t change the fact that you moved on so quickly.

“What weirdness?”

“Oh, please.” You stifle an eye roll. “I ran into you on a date with Liam, and you acted strange.”

Jungkook’s entire face heats. “I mean, I do think it’s weird that you want to date Jessen,” he says, unable to stop himself. “He’s not a good guy.”

“Why not?” you demand. “You can’t just say that, and not explain.”

Jungkook hesitates, on the verge of explanation before he pulls back. It doesn’t matter. If Jungkook tells you about Liam, he’d have to explain everything – his mom, his dad and the whole, morbid past. There’s no point in sharing if you’re leaving tonight.

Something about this feels wrong, but Jungkook can’t put a finger on why.

“Why did you even come here?” you ask, your expression changing. “Why did you come to my parents’ party if you didn’t want to see me? If you really don’t care?”

I care, Jungkook wants to yell. Obviously, he cares but you were the one who walked in on someone else’s arm. The confession chokes in his throat, stillborn.

“I came because my dad asked me,” Jungkook says instead. “He couldn’t attend, so he sent me in his place. It would’ve been rude for one of us not to attend.”

Your jaw tightens. “Liar.”

Jungkook goes still. “Excuse me?”

Somehow, you move even closer. “I said, liar,” you repeat, chin tilted. “Your father didn’t ask you to come. You came here because you wanted to – why can’t you just admit that?”

Panic sparks, realizing you can see right through him. And still, Jungkook doesn’t understand why you’re pretending to care. Why you continue to push, trying to get Jungkook to say he cares when you’re the one leaving. Do you want him to beg? Would leaving be better if you left him humiliated?

Anger is easier to focus on than pain, and so Jungkook grasps it tight with both hands.

Something in your gaze falters. “I – right, okay,” you murmur, fumbling behind you for the door. “Got it. I just… assumed. I’ll go.”

Hearing your voice crack, Jungkook’s fury vanishes. No longer caring about the why, he focuses on the what and reaches out for your wrist. Your breath catches when his fingers close around your warm skin. Gently – so gently – Jungkook turns you around and presses you to the door.

Inhaling your scent, Jungkook crowds you against the wood. You stare back at him and Jungkook wonders what would’ve happened if he’d just called.

Feeling suddenly helpless, he drops the façade. “You’re right,” Jungkook admits, his voice hoarse. “I wanted to see you.”

Bending his head, he crushes your lips with his.

Your noise of surprise muffles, dissipating the moment your lips touch. Hands encircling his waist, you slowly trace the panes of his body. Jungkook loves the way you touch him – gentle and then, not gentle at all. Losing himself in your touch, Jungkook kisses you roughly.

When your hands tug his hair, Jungkook groans into your mouth. Memorizing the feel of your body with his, he shuts out the fear that this might be the last. Within minutes, the kiss has turned urgent, both of you searching for something unsaid. Smoothing a hand down your spine, Jungkook tugs you into his chest.

Half-hard since he entered the closet, Jungkook bites down on your lip to relish the soft noise you make. Slipping his hand beneath the strap of your dress, he bares your shoulder and cups your breast in his palm. Slowly, he teases your nipple with his thumb and listens to your breath hitch.

Head lowered, Jungkook closes his lips around the nipple and tugs. You groan, arching against him in eager invitation. Hand reaching, Jungkook fumbles with your zipper until it catches and pulls. Your dress pools on the ground, leaving you naked except for your heels and panties. Cock swelling at the visual, Jungkook bites lightly on your nipple through lace.

Reaching behind, you undo your bra and let this fall to the floor. With it, the last of Jungkook’s resolve slips away. “You’re beautiful,” he murmurs.

Before you can respond, he lowers his head and sucks your breast again. Teasing you slowly, he relishes the eager rise and fall of your chest. Lowering his hand, he grasps your thigh to wrap firmly around him. Fingers searching, he skims the edge of your wetness and feels you tremble.

Returning to your lips, Jungkook crushes his mouth to yours. Now that you’ve kissed, he can’t seem to stop – especially when he knows this might be the last. Pouring everything he feels into a wordless gesture, Jungkook pulls you to him.

You whimper, shifting to better align your hips to his. Tightening his grip on your waist, Jungkook chuckles and keeps himself just beyond reach. Lazily trailing his fingers in circles, he angles his head to deepen the kiss.

“Jungkook,” you moan against his lips.

He can’t help but smile. “Yes?”

Eyes opening, your expression turns heady. “I need more.”

“More.” Casually, his fingers stroke higher. “Is that what you want from me? Want me to make you come, princess?”

There’s a bite to his words he can’t fully disguise. Jungkook is used to being wanted for his skills in bed. It’s never been something he begrudged before but then, he’s never wanted more from someone else and hearing you say it is like a knife to the chest.

You hesitate, gaze searching. “What do you want, Jungkook?”

Jungkook goes still, scanning your face. He wants more than this. He wants you and you, alone but that can’t possibly be what you mean.

“What… do I want?” he repeats.

“Yes.” You stare up at him, earnest. “You always ask me what I want in bed, but what do you want?”

In bed. Each word is followed by a dull thunk, falling into place alongside the weight of expectation. Obviously, you meant sex – anything more would be ludicrous. You came here tonight with someone else, after all.

Lowering his head, Jungkook skims your throat with his nose. He allows his teeth to graze skin, feeling you shudder and tightening his grip.

“This,” he murmurs, voice cracking in a rare moment of honesty. “Just this.”

Jungkook kisses you before you can see the desperation in his eyes. He backs you against the door, skimming the top of your panties with his rough fingers. You shudder against him, arching your chest and Jungkook takes pity.

Sliding a hand lower, he cups your center and hisses when he feels how wet you are. Slowly, he drags a finger forward – along the damp fabric. One palm on the door, Jungkook repeats this over and over, until you’re a wet, sopping mess.

“Jungkook,” you beg, meeting his gaze.

Jungkook lifts a brow. “Thighs together, princess.”

Hastening to obey, you trap his hand between your warm legs. Flexing his wrist, Jungkook idly strokes along the seam of your panties. A soft moan leaves your lips, head hitting the door while he touches you. Jungkook slowly slips his finger beneath the soft lace.

Brushing the hood of your clit, he savors how swollen you are. How responsive your body is to his touch. Gaze dropping, he takes in the frantic roll of your hips.

“Jungkook,” you moan, and his gaze jerks upward.

“Look at you,” he croons, moving closer. “Already a mess and I’ve barely touched you. Just sucked on those pretty tits like you needed. Tell me,” he says, voice hardening. “Tell me you needed it.”

Deep down, Jungkook knows this is wrong. It isn’t healthy to push things so far, to make you come on his hand when he knows this is over – and yet, he can’t bring himself to stop. If this is all Jungkook gets, he at least wants you to remember.

“I did,” you gasp. “I needed it so bad.”

A muscle ticks in his jaw. “Because no one else gets you like this, huh?”

“N-no one,” you pant, a tremor to your voice.

“What was that?”

“No one but you, Jungkook,” you amend, and he grunts in approval.

“Turn around,” he demands and steps backwards.

You obey, hands pressed to the door as you lower your head. A shiver runs down Jungkook’s spine, seeing how much you trust him. Stepping closer, he eases your legs apart with one hand. Removing your panties, Jungkook lets them fall and presses his hips to your ass from behind.

“Did you bring a condom?” he murmurs, savoring your intake of breath.

Your head tips back a little. “I – no,” you blurt, eyes widening. “I didn’t think of it.”

Satisfaction seeps through his chest when Jungkook realizes you didn’t plan on sleeping with Liam. That’s something, at least. Something he can give you that no one else can.

Chuckling lowly, he caresses your ass – only to bring his palm down. “Didn’t think of it,” Jungkook breathes, dragging two fingers through your dripping sex. “Hm. I don’t believe that.”

“Don’t” – a sharp inhale – “believe what?”

Spanking you again, Jungkook presses you against the door. “I don’t think you forgot a condom,” he murmurs, low in your ear. “I think that you wanted my cum inside you. Is that right? Want me to fuck you raw?”

He pauses, waiting for your reaction before he continues. You let out a whimper, pressing your ass backwards in clear invitation. Fuck. Jungkook nearly swears out loud, consumed by the thought of what it would feel like. Sex without a condom has never been practical for him but now, Jungkook finds himself imagining.

Slowly, he circles your dripping entrance. Sliding his finger inside, Jungkook lets you adjust before he pulls out. “You’re such a dirty girl,” he exhales, adding a second finger.

Pushing backwards, your legs widen slightly to accommodate him. Jungkook slowly moves in and out, stretching your entrance.

“Tell me you don’t want that,” he murmurs. “Me, bending you over and fucking you hard in this closet. Filling you up to the brim with my cum.”

It’s hard for Jungkook to concentrate once the thought has been voiced. If he can’t have you the way he wants to, he can at least pretend. When you moan your approval, it only stokes his flames higher.

“I could do that right now,” Jungkook continues, dropping his voice. “Fuck you so hard, then cum inside this perfect pussy. When I’m done, I’ll tug your panties up, put on your dress and send you back out there. Except” – his voice catches – “I’ll know. And you’ll know that your sweet, little pussy has been used by me. Belongs to me. Is full of me.”

You groan, arching into him while his fingers fill you. The image is provocative, imagining his claim when you return to Liam. Even if you don’t want Jungkook like that, your body clearly does – and Jungkook knows he can satisfy you better than anyone. The thought of his cum dripping down your thigh when you return to your date brings more than a little dark satisfaction.

“Jungkook,” you pant.

“What, princess?” he murmurs, refocusing on the present.

“I – I’m close.”

“Already?” Grazing his teeth against your shoulder, Jungkook quickens his pace. “Let’s give you an orgasm to start, then.”

You whimper, thighs trembling as he pushes you over the edge. It’s not long before you gasp his name, spasming around Jungkook until he withdraws his fingers.

Exhaling slowly, you hang your head. Tugging down his zipper, Jungkook doesn’t waste any time. Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out a condom and rips this open. The tear of the packet makes you turn your head.

Dazed, your gaze latches onto the motion. “You… had a condom on you?”

Jungkook smirks and rolls this on. “You seemed to enjoy the idea of my cum inside you.”

Your eyes narrow, but you don’t disagree and Jungkook steps forward to press his cock to your core. Any trace of annoyance vanishes, replaced by desire as he drags his cock up and down. Jungkook nearly swears when he feels how wet you are, rubbing his head against your swollen clit.

Slowly, he leans forward to press you against the door. “Is this what you want?” Jungkook urges, reaching lower to grasp his length with one hand. Casually, he smacks your clit with his cock. “Want my cock inside this needy pussy?”

“God, yes,” you groan as you lower your head.

Hearing this is searing and suddenly, Jungkook doesn’t feel like playing games. “Good,” he agrees and thrusts forward.

You gasp when he enters, gaze focused on the place where he fills you. Jungkook nearly swears when he feels the slickness of your heat, the easy way you envelop him when he slides in. Pausing halfway, he waits until you adjust before pushing further. Slow, easy thrusts until you take his whole length.

Jungkook grunts when he bottoms out, hips pressed snugly against your ass. Refusing to move, he begins to tease your body. Sliding one hand up your torso to cup your full breast in his palm. Casual, he plays with your tit as he starts to thrust – pulling back out, only to slide slowly in.

He does this again and again, memorizing your body until your patience disappears. Taking over the rhythm, you set the pace and push back on his cock. Jungkook allows you to lead before deciding enough is enough and resuming control. Grasping your hip, he presses you to the door and feels you inhale.

Your body melts with his, showcasing your trust and Jungkook nearly breaks. Thrusting forward, he fills you with everything that you crave. You want him to fuck you? So be it. You want him to give you an orgasm? Jungkook will do it. He’ll give you everything you ask, even if it costs him himself.

Touching your body everywhere he can reach, Jungkook feels a building urgency. Playing with your clit, teasing your breast, turning your face sideways to lick up your throat. Savoring your taste, he pounds into your body and hopes against reason you’ll remember tonight.

Based on the way your body trembles, the prospect is promising. Jungkook knows that he’s big. It’s something he’s heard before, but you take him so easily and without complaint. He knows you enjoy the sensation, that you appreciate the feeling of too-fullness he gives. The thought makes him even harder, his cock throbbing with each punishing thrust into your slick heat.

Sliding one palm underneath your knee, Jungkook opens you further and fully lets go. He feels your body constrict, fluttering around him to let him know you’re close.

“That’s it,” he grunts, gripping your jaw to turn your face to his. “Is this what you want? Want me to make you come?”

Silently, he begs you with his eyes to say something different. That you want more than sex, but nothing in your expression seems to understand.

“Yes,” you gasp, eyelashes fluttering. “Yes.”

Pressing his mouth to yours, Jungkook claims you when you come apart. You squeeze him so tightly, he wonders if you somehow know this might be the last time. Forcing himself to continue until your final wave, Jungkook finally comes in a heated shudder.

He stays there for a moment, breath rising and falling against your bare skin. Squeezing his eyes shut, Jungkook imagines briefly this won’t be the end. That he can leave this closet, walk you back to your family and – here, stops the daydream because you came here with Liam.

Slowly, Jungkook withdraws and ties the condom in a knot. Clearing his throat, he fumbles for words while glancing around the closet.

This is the last time. It has to be the last since Jungkook can’t continue to break himself into pieces. Can’t continue to fuck you and send you home to him.

Quietly, you adjust the strap of your dress. Jungkook keeps his hands still, itching to help but convincing himself not to. Every part of his body screams at him to stay, to do something – say something – but he forces himself to stay.

Tucking himself into his pants, Jungkook pulls up the zipper. He feels the weight of your gaze on his cheek, uncertain. When he finally meets your eyes, Jungkook forces his expression to harden. After a moment, he looks past – towards the door.

Something in your posture stiffens. “Jungkook,” you say, sounding wary. “Why are you here?”

The answer rises to his lips, but Jungkook stamps it back down. He came to apologize. To tell you how he felt but all possibilities ended the moment you entered with Liam.

“Are you dating Liam?” Jungkook asks, the words slipping past. Cursing himself for the sudden lapse, he tries not to notice the way you react.

“I… what?”

Jungkook feels his lips tighten. “Are you dating Liam Jessen?”

“We…” You blink, hesitating a moment. “We’ve been on a few dates.”

Neither a yes nor a no, but either way, the words are enough to sink his last hope. Jungkook’s heart drops, and he nods.

Only a few dates is both good and bad. It’s good that the number is small – bad that despite this, you wanted Liam to meet your family. Swallowing hard, Jungkook tastes the scorched earth of his anger. He concentrates on this rather than on sorrow – easier to face you with vitriol in his heart.

Gaze flickering, you step closer. “Jungkook, I –”

“This should probably be the last time we do this, right?”

You freeze, the heat from your body tangible. The look on your face is shock, clear and uncalculated, and Jungkook’s anger swells in response. You have no right to look at him that way – as though he were the villain breaking your heart.

“You…” Dazed, you shake your head. “We what?”

“You and Liam are together, right?” Jungkook asks, the words coming out sharp.

“Together isn’t the word I’d use.”

“Then what word would you use?” His words bleed with frustration, and Jungkook isn’t sure what he’s searching for.

Except that’s not true because he does know. If you said you wanted him, Jungkook would end this right now. He’d say that he wants you, and that he wants things to change. Even while thinking this though, Jungkook knows it’s unfair. He can’t expect you to put your heart on the line when he’s not willing to do the same.

Either way, you say nothing and slowly, Jungkook’s frustration vanishes. Any answer would be preferred to this punishing silence.

“Thought so,” he breathes, grasping for straws. “Wasn’t that part of the rules? We’d fuck until you found someone else to date?”

You recoil slightly, and it takes all Jungkook’s willpower to keep himself still. It’s better this way, he reasons. Better for you to hate him now than peer beneath the surface and see how much he’s hurting.

“That was a long time ago,” you counter. “And that’s not everything I said to you.”

Jungkook suppresses his wince because he knows. He knows things have changed since the night you gave your rules. Remembers with perfect clarity standing in your kitchen and hearing you say Jungkook’s mom would be proud.

He remembers entering your body later that night, cupping your face with both hands to brush his lips against yours. Jungkook knows things have changed and still, he pushes you away because it seems better – safer – than you pushing him first.

“You’re right,” he says, slipping both hands in his pockets. “You also implied things could end if I caught an STD.”

Your brow furrows. “Jungkook,” you say, reaching for him. “Just stop. Let’s –”

“I have feelings for someone,” he blurts.

At this, your hand freezes. Jungkook wishes you would touch, aches for the brush of your skin but forces himself to stay silent. It’s too late for reconciliation – he can tell by the flashes of emotion chasing each other across your face.

Shock, confusion, and where he expects anger, Jungkook finds something far worse – hurt.

“Do… I know her?”

Jungkook’s heart cracks down the middle. He can’t possibly say that you are her. If he did, you’d be forced to choose between him and Liam, and Jungkook already knows how that’d go. Everyone chooses someone else in the end.

“It doesn’t matter,” he says at last.

You stare at him another moment, causing Jungkook to wonder if you see through him. Then, your expression crumples and you withdraw your hand.

“Right,” you whisper.

Jungkook’s resolve falters. “I just… don’t want to drag this out,” he says, and even to his ears, the words sound weak. “I think it would be better to end things now. Before someone gets hurt.”

The words are nearly cause for laughter because it’s much too late for that.

“Right,” you exhale. “Is that why you came here tonight?”

When Jungkook pauses, disappointment settles over your features.

“Well, good,” you say, lifting your chin. “Okay. We said we’d hook up as long as it made sense. If it doesn’t make sense, we should end it.”

Something jerks in his stomach. “Y/N…”

A bitter laugh escapes you, reaching backwards. “Don’t Y/N me.”

“I get that you’re upset, but –”

“Upset?” Your entire body freezes, fury limning your eyes. “I’m not upset, Jungkook – I’m pissed. You avoided me for weeks just to show up at my parents’ party, fuck me in a closet and end this? Which – oh my god,” you say, something like horror crossing your face. “We had sex, Jungkook. What would the woman you supposedly like have to say about that?”

Jungkook’s chest seizes, making breathing difficult. Everything you say is true and already, he can tell he’s going to regret this.

“She’d hate it,” he admits, soft.

You pause, brow furrowing. “Well, okay. As long as you… agree with me?”

Jungkook can only stare at you, helpless. “This is for the best, Y/N. I know that it is. You have Liam, and I – well, I made a mistake coming here. I shouldn’t have followed you in here. Or kissed you. I –”

“That’s enough,” you snap.

Your chest rises and falls, anger barely restrained when Jungkook falls silent. He knows he crossed a line, and truthfully, he regrets nothing except how things are ending. And maybe the way he left your place that one morning.

“I really am sorry,” he murmurs.

“Yeah, well.” You take a deep breath, reaching behind you. “There’s nothing to be sorry for, right? We were casual. Only sex. And now we’re nothing.”

It’s nothing Jungkook hasn’t thought before, but your words skewer him in a way he didn’t think possible. Light from the hall floods the closet when you leave, striping the floor with Jungkook’s own shadow.

He allows you to go, knowing it’s for the best as he drags a hand down his face. Exhaling deeply, Jungkook tries to suppress the tears pricking his eyelids.

Logic which once seemed simple now seems indecipherable. Jungkook thought ending things would be cleaner but now, he’s not sure. Did you really want Liam to meet your parents, or did it happen by chance? More importantly – were you planning to end things with Jungkook?

A sliver of uncertainty enters his thoughts, but Jungkook forces himself to move on. There’s no point in wondering what-if. You two are over. He won’t see you again.

The enormity of this crashes over him and suddenly, it’s hard for Jungkook to breathe. He forces himself to inhale, taking slow, shallow breaths until the feeling passes. Eventually, Jungkook opens the closet door and steps into the hall.

Most of the walk to the car is a blur, only sharpening once he settles into the driver’s seat. Clutching the steering wheel with both hands, Jungkook stares at his knuckles. If you weren’t planning on ending things tonight, that would mean Jungkook has turned into the very person he fears.

Cold, blind, and ultimately – hopeless.

#bangtanarmynet #jungkook fanfic #jungkook smut #bts fanfic #bts smut #jungkook series #bts series

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with-my-murder-flute · 1 year

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TLT theory: Aim, Jod, and the second part of the message

My brain is fevered. I feel like I've constructed an elaborate Pepe Silvia corkboard in my mind, and it feels like it makes sense of everything, but I honestly have no clue if that certainty will last very long.

I think I know what the Messenger is carrying. I think I know why John has waited ten thousand years.

Spooky preview quote from HtN chapter 2:

I mastered Death, Harrowhark; I wish I’d done the smarter thing and mastered Time.

Spoilers for Gideon, Harrow, and Nona the Ninth.

BoE's chronology has always been kind of weird to me: Five thousand years after the Resurrection happens, they pop up with intense and detailed knowledge of the 21st century! Jod destroys languages and cultures and societies, but BoE keeps popping up! How.

Originally I thought the continuous thread over the years was a Lyctor who helped them (and the necromantic implant does seem to point that way) but I also think part of it is that the ships that escaped just before Earth's devastation have been showing up one by one, over a huge span of time. That's why Wake says "My long-dead natal sun" and can quote Eminem at length; she spent ten thousand years suspended in time, before re-entering it.

NtN, John 19:18:

They said they’d managed to find some poor dipshit geek who’d fixed the FTL problem of getting locked in the chrono well, you know, moving so fast you were stuck doing quantum wheelies. They’d come up with something where you could oscillate out so long as the ship was attuned to a prearranged spectrum outside. I still don’t understand the maths. It’s going to take me ten thousand years to understand it. I couldn’t follow, but A— could. He said immediately, What is the point if you still have no fucking clue where your ship is going to end up when you shake out of FTL. They said, Aha, but we can track it once it’s out. A— said, It could be halfway across the universe or phasing through a planet. They kept arguing that probably wouldn’t happen [...] They said it was expensive, so twelve ships would go first, with one guiding them out with the beacon frequencies like a tugboat leading a cruise liner, triangulate for Tau Ceti, dump the population, and come back.

I think that AIM's message is the beacon that will call the last of the FTL fleet out of the chrono well. They are "we", they are the first of two parts, because their identity is the person they were before coming the Messenger, and the ships that still haven't oscillated back into three-dimensional space yet, because they are under AIM's personal guardianship/intimately tied to possession of her body.

NtN, John 5:4

I think the only reason I haven’t done it already is that I can’t bear the idea that I wouldn’t be able to touch them—that they’d still be out there …

I think Jod has been at this for so long because he is waiting for an event that could literally take an infinite amount of time to occur. He hasn't killed the entire colonized population yet because he wants something out of them, and it doesn't seem to be labour or devotion or even thanergy.

I think he's looking for the fleet's beacon, in a way that's like lighting a grassfire to flush animals out of hiding and deprive them of shelter. I think he's constantly killing planets and relocating and resettling populations before funnelling them together again, like a distillery trying to heat and separate different liquids as they move from flask to flask, because he wants to finally decant the key to the last ships that escaped him.

#lis's tlt theories #the locked tomb spoilers #the locked tomb #ntn spoilers #gtn spoilers #htn spoilers

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nellasbookplanet · 4 months

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Book recs: Queer science fiction, part 2

There is a lot of queer sf out there, and I read a lot of sf. When I started working on this list, I quickly realized it was impossible to include all that I’ve read and enjoyed in one single rec post. Thus, this is my second queer sci-fi book rec post. For queer sci-fi part 1, click here!

A note: queer here does not necessarily mean “guarantee of an f/f or m/m ship with a happy ending”, but rather simply a significant presence of queerness. Some of the books feature no romance but has a same gender attracted/trans/a-spectrum lead, or features an m/f relationship with bisexual, trans or aro/ace characters, or simply features a world-building which is heavily queer inclusive in ways that don’t always compare to our own ideas of sexuality and gender. I have however disqualified works where the only queer presence is along the lines of “gay best friend”, word of god, and a blink and you’ll miss it confirmation that never comes up again.

For more details on the books, continue under the readmore. Titles marked with * are my personal favorites. And as always, feel free to share your own recs in the notes!

If you want more book recs, check out my masterpost of rec lists!

Empress of Forever by Max Gladstone

Vivian Liao is a highly successful innovator, but she may have bitten off more than she can chew and fears the government may be coming for her. As she goes into hiding, she attempts to pull off one last stunt that could fix everything - but something goes wrong, and suddenly Vivian finds herself waking up in the far future, under attack by an army of robots in space. Hoping to find her way back home, Vivian must assemble a crew of dangerous outlaws to help her hunt down the Empress of Forever, the all-powerful entity who pulled her into the future. Lesbian main character.

The Mimicking of Known Successes by Malka Older

Novella. On the outpost of a human colony by Jupiter, a man has gone missing. On the case to find him - and figure out why he disappeared in the first place - is enigmatic investigator Mossa. Her search leads her to the colony's university, and with it, her ex-girlfriend Pleiti, expert on Earth's pre-collapse ecosystem. Together they come to realize that the case is much larger than just a missing man, and could decide the outcome of humanity's very future. Sapphic.

My Heart is Human by Reese Hogan

Nine years ago, all complex technology was made illegal. This complicates life for Joel, young transgender single father, as a bionic just uploaded itself into his brain without consent. Scared of losing his daughter, Joel tries to keep the bionic secret while using it to fix his life, but things quickly get more complicated as the bionic gains more and more control of his body. A bit simplistic in writing style but makes a lot of cool parallels of bodily autonomy to Joel’s experiences as a transman. M/M romance.

The Vanished Birds by Simon Jimenez*

A strange child lands on an isolated planet, scaring its inhabitants into handing him over into the hands of Nia Amani. As captain of a transport ship, Nia is not only the planet's only contact with the outside world, she is also a woman out of time, years compressing into months as she travels through space at high speeds. Now responsible for a child who doesn't speak and in a galaxy that wishes them ill, she must rethink exactly what she wants to do with her life, and what she's prepared to give up. Features multiple major queer characters.

The Abyss Surrounds Us (The Abyss Surrounds Us duology) by Emily Skrutskie

Young Adult. Tumblr classic back in the day! Cassandra Leung's family are keepers of sea monsters, genetically engineered and trained to protect ships from pirates. On her first solo mission, Cas finds herself kidnapped by pirates seeking to obtain their own monster. Now they need her help to train it. As Cas seeks to regain her freedom, she must also reckon with unfortunate growing feelings for one of the pirates keeping her under guard. Sapphic.

Ancestral Night (White space series) by Elizabeth Bear

Haimey Dz is part of a three-man salvage crew in space (one of the crew being the sentient spaceship himself). When the small crew comes across a derelict ship that proves the scene of a horrible crime, they must go on the run as they seek to uncover a conspiracy that involves both ancient secrets older than humanity itself, and Haimey's own hidden past. On their tail is a dangerous space pirate, convinced that Haimey is the key to it all. Lesbian main character.

Ancillary Justice (Imperial Radch) by Ann Leckie*

A space opera in which sentient spaceships can walk the ground in stolen human bodies, so called ancillaries. One of these ancillaries, the sole survivor after the complete destruction of her ship and crew, is one the hunt for revenge against the most powerful woman in the empire. This series does very cool things with gender!

The City We Became by N.K. Jemisin

Five New Yorkers find themselves experiencing strangness as the city itself begins to wake up. They are its soul, its avatars and its protectors, and now they must keep it safe as it wakes as something alien and monstrous attempts to kill it before it's even fully alive. Mix of sci-fi, supernatural, and lovecraftian horror. Multiple pov characters of varying queer identities.

Gideon the Ninth (The Locked Tomb series) by Tamsyn Muir*

Gideon, raised as a swordswoman by unfriendly nuns, would rather run away and make her own life, but her services are needed. The Reverend Daughter, Gideon's childhood nemesis, has been invited to a trial to win a place as an immortal by the Emperor's side, and she's in need of a bodyguard. Listen, if you’re on tumblr I probably don’t need to explain this book to you. Trust me when I say it’s exactly as good as people claim. Humorous and spooky but also absolutely gut wrenching and clever with a lot of political commentary. There are also, indeed, lesbian necromancers in space.

A Big Ship at the Edge of the Universe (Salvagers trilogy) by Alechia Dow

In a universe run on science and magic working hand in hand, Boots Elsworth makes a living selling fake treasure maps and Nilah Brio is a racer. When one of Boots' maps turns out to be more real than expected and Nilah has to go on the run after having been framed for a murder, the two find themselves on the same spaceship, working with Boots' old captain to find the rumored treasure and reveal the conspiracy its hiding before the people hunting them catch up. Features a main f/f relationship.

The Company of Death by Elisa Hansen*

A wild mix of genres, where a zombie apocalypse has struck and vampires gather up humans to keep their food source from going extinct, a robot travels across America with a young man she’s tasked to keep safe, and former-vampire-hunter-recent-zombie Emily teams up with Death himself to stop the apocalypse. Features bi and ace characters! Bonus rec: the author also runs the youtube channel Maven of the Eventide, where she talks about various vampire media. Check it out!

Light from Uncommon Stars by Ryka Aoki

Shizuka Satomi is a violin master who made a deal with a devil, and who must now save her soul by delivering the souls of her students in place of her own. Lan Tran is a mother and a refugee of an alien war, hiding on Earth with her children in a donut shop. Katrina Nguyen is a trangender runaway and violin player, in the need of a mentor. As their paths cross, their lives change forever. I would categorize this as cozy, however it does also deal with some pretty heavy themes.

The Summer Prince by Alaya Dawn Johnson*

Young adult. Young artist June Costa lives in Palmares Tres, a beautiful, matriarchal city relying heavily on tradition, one of which is the Summer King. The most recent Summer King is Enki, a bold boy and fellow artist. With him at her side, June seeks to finally find fame and recognition through her art, breaking through the generational divide of her home. But growing close to Enki is dangerous, because he, like all Summer Kings, is destined to die. While the main relationship is m/f, it features a worldbuilding where bisexuality is the norm, which is portrayed in its major characters.

The Gilded Abyss by Rebecca Thorne

Nix Marr is a soldier and damned good at it, but that doesn't prepare her for her next mission: bodyguard for Subarch Kessandra, beloved royal and Nix's bitter ex, as she ventures into the underwater city of Fall to seek the cause of a bloody murder spree and a possible deadly contagion. But Kessandra has enemies, the answers she seeks marking her as a possible threat for the nation's rulers. On their way in an isolated and enclosed underwater ship toward Fall, the contagion catches up, and Nix will have to put her hurt feelings aside if the two are to arrive alive. Sci-fi with flavors of horror and the supernatural.

Adaptation (Adaptation duology) by Malinda Lo

Young adult. Strangeness is afoot: all over America, birds are hurling themselves against airplanes and causing crashes. As flights are canceled and travelers stranded, Reese and her debate partner and longtime crush David are forced to head home by car. Accident strikes, and the two wake in a military hospital with no memory of the last month. Returning home, strangeness follows the two, especially as Reese encounters the mysterious and beautiful Amber Gray, who may know more than she lets on. Features a bisexual love triangle.

Lizard Radio by Pat Schmatz

Young adult. Fifteen-year-old Kivali, abandoned at birth and adopted by the nonconformist artist Sheila, has as a girl in boys clothes never fit in with the other kids. Sheila has always been supportive, until she one day sends Kivali off to CropCamp. While Kivali chafes at the strict rules of the camp, she also finds herself making friends, and maybe more, for the first time. Strange coming of age story, featuring exploration of gender and sexuality in a dystopian setting.

Isle of Broken Years by Jane Fletcher

Young spanish noblewoman Catalina thinks she’s done for when the ship she’s traveling on is attacked by pirates and she’s captured. Things gets worse when the entire crew is stranded on an inhospitable island where time works strangely, dangerous monsters terrorize the woods and something alien stops them from leaving. Strong Lost vibes. Lesbian romance. Admittedly quite indulgent but very fun and creative.

All Systems Red (The Murderbot Diaries) by Marta Wells*

After having hacked its own governor module, SecUnit uses its small amount of new freedom to secretly download and watch as much media as it can between doing its job guarding humans. But when the scientists it’s been charged with keeping safe come under attack, it must make a choice about whether to continue keeping its freedom secret or risk it all to save them. The series features both novellas and full length novels, and balances humor with scathing critique of capitalism. While it can be debated whether SecUnit counts as agender, asexual and aromantic, as it is a robot (I leave this up to individual judgmenet), however the series also has a diverse cast overall.

The Quiet at the End of the World by Lauren James*

Young adult. After the spread of a global virus causing infertility, teenagers Lowrie and Shen are now the youngest humans alive as the adults around them race to find a cure. As they investigate the ruins of the world, the two come across records from the past, of how grief stricken people turned to raising artificial children in apps and how these 'children’ developed, and through these records the two learn of their history. Bisexual main character.

Chain-Gang All-Stars by Nana Kwame Adjei-Brenyah*

In a near future America, inmates on death row or with life sentences in private prisons can choose to participate in death matches for entertainment. If they survive long enough - a rare case indeed - they regain their freedom. Among these prisoners are Loretta Thurwar and Hamara “Hurricane Staxxx” Stacker, partners behind the scenes and close to the deadline of a possible release - if only they can survive for long enough. As the game continues to be stacked against them and protests mount outside, two women fight for love, freedom, and their own humanity. Chain-Gang All-Stars is bleak and unflinching as well as genuinely hopeful in its portrayal of a dark but all to real possible future. Sapphic.

The Disasters by M.K. England

A decade ago, the massive ship House of Wisdom was abandoned in orbit after its entire crew was killed in an outbreak in a matter of hours. Now, Zahra and her people hope to claim the ship as their own by kidnapping the sole survivor to gain access to its systems. But the danger of the House of Wisdom is far from gone. Horror, no major romance but has a major gay character.

Nax Hall may be a hotshot pilot, but that doesn't stop him from being expelled from the prestigious Ellis Station Academy in less than 24 hours. But as he's to be transported back to Earth alongside other failed students, the school is viciously attacked. Nax and the three other students only barely escape, and are left as the only witnesses - and the perfect scapegoats. Now they must go on the run together and find a way to clear their names. Bisexual main character.

Dust (Jacob's Ladder series) by Elizabeth Bear

In a dying spaceship, orbiting an equally dying sun, noblewoman Perceval waits for her own gruesome death. Having been captured by an opposing house, her wings severed and life forfeit, Perceval’s execution is imminent - until a young servant charged with her care proves to be Perceval’s long lost sister. To stop a war between houses likely to doom them all, the two flee together across a crumbling, dangerous spaceship. At its core waits Jacob Dust, god and angel, all that remains of what the ship once was. And he wants Perceval. Sapphic and asexual characters, however be prepared for kinda fucked up relationships.

Under Fortunate Stars by Ren Hutchings

Two ships have gotten stuck in a rift in space, isolated outside of time. One of them is the Jonah, a ship dodging a generations long war against an alien species, carrying a small crew of smugglers, an unintended passenger, and a hijacker. The other ship is the Gallion, which arrived from 150 years in the future carrying an alien ambassador - and whose crew is awestruck at meeting the heroes of the Jonah, known to have ended the war. As the two crews struggle to understand each other's timelines, they must also work together to leave the rift before they're stranded forever. Multiple queer characters, however the main romance plotlines are m/f.

One Last Stop by Casey McQiston*

Twenty-three-year-old August has a lot to deal with. She just moved to New York, got new job at a pancake diner, and acquired several slightly chaotic roommates. So what if she likes to flirt with the pretty girl on her subway commute? But Jane turns out to be more than just a charming stranger: she's lost in time, displaced from the 70s, and unable to leave the subway. Romance with a dash of timetravel sci-fi, One Last Stop is a delightful story of love and queer community.

The Women Could Fly by Megan Giddings*

In an alternate version of our present, the witch hunt never ended. Women are constantly watched and expected to marry young so their husbands can keep an eye on them. When she was fourteen, Josephine’s mother disappeared, leveling suspicions at both mother and daughter of possible witchcraft. Now, nearly a decade and a half later, Jo, in trying to finally accept her missing mother as dead, decides to follow up on a set of seemingly nonsensical instructions left in her will. Features a bisexual lead!

Salvation Day by Kali Wallace

A decade ago, the massive ship House of Wisdom was abandoned in orbit after its entire crew was killed in an outbreak in a matter of hours. Now, Zahra and her people hope to claim the ship as their own by kidnapping the sole survivor to gain access. But the danger of the House of Wisdom is far from gone. Horror, no major romance but has a major gay character.

Alien: Echo by Mira Grant

Young adult. Twin sisters Olivia and Viola's parents are both xenobiologists, bringing them all over the galaxy. Most recently they’ve settled on a new colony world to study its life, but it proves more dangerous than they could’ve ever imagined. Under attack from alien monsters, the sisters must keep each pther alive while also coming to terms with a dark family secret. Sapphic horror. Part of the Alien franchise but stands well on its own.

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igotlovestruck · 1 year

Text

LIPS OF AN ANGEL | MM19

PAIRING: mason mount x wolff!reader ; a bit of george russell x wolff!reader

DETAILS & WARNINGS: profanities, mentions cheating/infidelity, mason's anger is totally understandable, y/n's a bit of a bitch(? idk towards the end tho), rushed ending bc i really wanted to end this hahahah, also not proofread and tons of dialogues ahhahah

WC: 4k

A/N: i apologize for uploading this soo late 😭 i had writers block for a long while :< anyway, enjoy reading!

TAGGED: @i83andrew @pleasantducktimetravel

this work is purely fictional. names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. © newuniverse, 2023. do not steal, repost in other platforms, translate and/or claim this work as your own.

now, four months have passed since you’ve broken up with mason (or at least that was what your letter stated). in those months, mason finds himself longing for you. the man often finds himself up most nights, sleeping so late and waking up so early to head to training and other prior schedules he has every day.

mason would not deny it; that if someone were to ask if he had tried contacting you, your dad and even your stepmum. the couple would always say that they don’t know your whereabouts, but deep inside, he knows they know and knowing you, you were probably the one who asked them not to tell him. the first month was the hardest, he tried calling you every night and every chance he got while on his schedule. he was waiting for your voicemail greeting to play just to hear your voice and after that, he’d record what he wanted to say. a mixture of i love you’s, i miss you’s and please come back.

it wasn’t easy with you as well. you missed mason and you missed the days where it was just the two of you in your own little world. if you could only go back in time, you’d never leave the house during the night of your fight and maybe this never would’ve happened. you missed seeing mason on the other side of the bed; you weren’t a morning person but whenever there’s a chance that you wake up before him, you’d watch him sleep and listen to his gentle snores while you lightly trace his beard with the tip of your finger. you missed snuggling to him during cold mornings, you missed the lazy make-outs because he couldn’t get his hands off of you, you missed him whispering sweet nothings in your ear after you wake up. you missed mornings with mason, too bad you can no longer relive those moments.

though you can’t help that every time you wake up, you have that thought that you could go back to london, you could return his calls, you could return back to mason and restart your relationship. but every time you do think of doing those things, you’re reminded of what you did. all those lies you’ve told him, and those days where you were away and sleeping with another man.

going back to the man you’ve hurt seems such a foolish thing to do, and you know the people around mason wouldn’t allow such a thing. though you may think that mason would have the same thinking as the others, he sometimes does not. he wanted to risk it all again with you, he wanted to try and fix it with you. all he wanted is you and you alone.

going back to mason is something that you want to do but wouldn’t do. and on the fourth month, 5 day mark, mason had revealed his month long relationship with a model, lia mendes.

honey, why you calling me so late?

it’s kinda hard to talk right now.

honey, why you crying, is everything okay?

i gotta whisper cause i can’t be too loud.

you stood in your living room filled with moving boxes, susie and toto were outside while jack was napping inside your bedroom. all you could do was sigh. it felt so weird moving into a new apartment–let alone moving to the southeast corner of france. monaco was a lovely place to live in, knowing that your father lives here (though he travels most of the time), the fact that you live nearby brings you some sort of relief, safety and comfort. though, as many people have said, you disappeared off the face of the earth for a few months, you’ve lived your life quietly with your mum for a while as you wait for the situation with mason to die down.

you were in a rush when you left london the night you told mason you were just going to the store. you left without even taking a second look, not even an ounce of thought. sure, it was a wrong move—a dumb decision as well, but you wanted to run away from all the mistakes you’ve made. you wanted to escape. leave everything you have to the place you once loved—now a place you dread the most. it was not the easiest decision either, but it was the only solution that you could think of.

the night you left mason, you didn’t go to the store. instead, you met george. again, a clandestine meeting. you messaged george when you were a few blocks away from his place, which is why you met a furious brit.

“have you lost your mind, kid?” he says, god you hated that nickname. it was the nickname that toto knew george gave you and became the hint that you and the driver are close. “she could’ve caught me! she could’ve seen your bloody message! why did you want to see me—”

“i told him, george. he–he probably saw the letter by now because i left a few hours ago.”

the driver’s eyes widened, definitely not the sentence he was not expecting to hear from you. suddenly, he didn’t know what to do or say. george tried to pull you in his arms, but you were quick to push him away. “this… george! this is exactly why we need to stop what’s between us!” you said, “i can’t believe i’m saying this but i regret everything that happened between us. i regret taking advantage of mason and carmen. i hate how i know that dad will be so disappointed in me. so please, let’s stop this… we can’t keep hurting and breaking the trusts of the people around us.”

your voice cracks by the end of the last sentence, you could feel george staring at you but you kept your gaze on your feet. no strength to look at his eyes because you know that this man would do anything just to make you stay.

“but baby—”

from calling you kid to baby—you hated it. you felt disgusted. you needed to end it.

“no, george. no buts.” you cut off, “i have to go. i… i wish you all the best.”

you walk back to your car, locking the doors in case george runs after you. again, without looking back, you drive away. leaving the confused brit in the empty street.

and even though you ended things with george that night, he hadn’t stopped calling and texting you—afraid that you might say anything about your relationship to others, even with friends and family. all he ever cared about was his reputation, he was scared. after all, he was doing great with mercedes the past season and a scandal with his boss’ daughter would put him through hell.

now, you were left alone in this apartment overlooking the beauty of monaco. you sat on your balcony with a glass of wine sitting on the table, feeling the breeze of the mediterranean sea. oh you missed mason. you haven’t heard anything from him since you two broke up.

and maybe it was the number of wine in your system that you ended up dialing his number, the one you’ve deleted yet can’t seem to forget as you knew it by heart. no matter how hard you try to forget about it. it kept on ringing and ringing, and you tried to re-dial once it ended due to the exceeding minute.

on the fifth try, you finally heard his voice.

“hello?”

you know that feeling when you’ve spoken to your high school crush for the very first time, your heart drops and your stomach is filled with butterflies to the point where you don’t know what to say? that is exactly what you felt when you heard mason’s voice after months.

“hello?” he repeats, “is this a prank call? ‘cause this is the fifth time you called and i might need to block your number–”

“masey.”

you heard sounds of bed rustling followed by a door closing, you assumed that he was already in bed and was fast asleep. after all, it was already midnight. “y/n?” and that’s when the tears started to roll in, god how you missed that voice. “are you crying? is everything alright?” his voice was quiet.

“y-yeah, just…” you sniffed, “just missing you and i think it has something to do with this stupid wine.”

“sorry, i’ve got to whisper. m-my girlfriend’s asleep,”

“oh.” you wiped your tears, you only found out that mason was dating someone now. “i’m sorry, i should’ve known. god, i’ll hang up–”

“no!”

well, my girl’s in the next room

sometimes i wish she was you

i guess we never really moved on

it’s really good to hear your voice saying my name

it sounds so sweet

“she’s in the other room anyway, we can continue talking.” he continued, “h-how have you been? i’ve seen photos of jack on susie’s instagram, may have had a glimpse of you spending time with them in her stories. have you gone karting with jack recently?”

you chuckle, chugging the remaining wine on your glass before responding. “i-i stayed with them for a month, i stayed with my mum as well, after our… well, you know. i’ve accompanied jack while dad and susie are busy. you know, the season has already started and susie is busy with the f1 academy. i was vacant for a month, but i’ve started working again–i’m talking too much, you should really hang up, mason.”

“you know, it’s really good to hear your voice saying my name, y/n.” mason said, “it-it really sounds so sweet.”

“we should really stop, mason.”

you heard him scoff on the other end of the line, “it’s so funny that you’re the one saying that, i’m not the one who called in the first place, y/n.”

“i know, and i only found out that you were dating someone tonight. y-you should be with her, you shouldn’t be talking to your ex who… who cheated on you tonight. she deserves better.”

“i guess we never really moved on, y/n.” he replied, “i–”

“goodbye, mason. good night.”

coming from the lips of an angel

hearing those words, it makes me weak

and i never wanna say goodbye

but, girl, you make it hard to be faithful

with the lips of an angel

mason couldn’t sleep that night and had trouble waking up, which was the reason why lia, so early in the morning, was mad as her boyfriend was sleeping so deep and no matter how hard she tried to wake him up, she just couldn’t. lia was running late for a schedule that mason had promised to come with her as their break for the season had begun.

“masey, i’m running super late. my manager is about to burst, can’t you please move much faster?” she said, in a mixture of annoyed and calm voice. “didn’t we go to bed at the same time last night? why do you look like you haven’t at all?”

“because i haven’t slept,” he answered directly.

“why?”

“just… nothing. let’s go.”

the couple exited mason’s house, lia practically sprinted to mason’s car and sat on the front seat. masey, that was the nickname most people call him but now, he only wanted to hear your voice call him that and nobody else. when you say his name, it sounded like it came from the lips of an angel. it made him weak most of the time.

lia had arrived a half an hour late, her manager was already glaring at mason and immediately separated the couple. while lia was doing her photoshoot, leaving mason alone, he realised that he never wanted to break up with you, even if you admitted what had happened between you and george, or maybe he was just thinking about it as you’ve spoken last night. maybe he just missed you. he did miss you.

what’s fucked up is that he thought he finally moved on from you, that he was ready to commit to a new relationship. he knew that when he and lia were testing the waters, a month before they officially dated. he has told himself several times that he was over you, yet here he is. reminiscing all the memories you’ve shared the past years you two were together after that phone call. you were making it hard for him to be faithful.

as he was waiting, mason was on his phone when he received a notification of an invite to attend another f1 race with red bull. this time, it was in barcelona. he remembered the last time you and he went to monaco, a weekend to remember indeed.

“we’re going to be separated for almost the whole day, baby” you laugh, putting on your dress as mason shoves his phone into his pocket. “it’s going to be so weird because you’ll be at the red bull garage, and i’ll be at mercedes!”

“hey, i can still go there, you know? plus we’ll see each other around the paddock.” he replied, walking behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist. “besides, your dad loooves me. i’m sure he’ll understand that this is for work and publicity.”

you smiled, zipping your dress up and turned to face him. mason pursed his lips, signifying that he was asking for a kiss. you giggled, and eventually leaned in to connect your lips together. when you pulled away, you put your hand on his face and ran the pads of your thumb on his beard–the one you loved doing after you two kissed every time.

“you, sir… look so handsome with your outfit.” you compliment, he was wearing his chequered rhude shirt over some white shirt. you leaned in again for another kiss, deepening it–only pulling away when you heard your phone ring. “okay, before things escalate, i have to go. dad’s calling.”

“your dad’s such a cockblocker.” he teased, earning a slap on the arm from you. “i’m just kidding! i’ll see you when i see you at the paddock.”

mason remembered how he stole a kiss every time you crossed paths at the paddock or at the pit lane during his walk. a lot of people saw and took pictures and videos of it, posting it on social media. that video was trending in the world of f1 and football for a few days before dying down. he remembered seeing tweets and posts on instagram, saying they were jealous of your relationship. he remembered the two of you having dinner at toto and susie’s place, how he was teased by you and jack (toto eventually joined) throughout dinner as he went as red bull’s guest and not mercedes. he remembered lying with you on the deck of a rented yacht, under the sun, enjoying the monte-carlo air.

on the other side of europe, you are woken up by the sound of your phone ringing. you were taking your afternoon siesta before returning back to your home office to continue working, and whoever was calling you in the middle of your nap, may they stub their toe on some furniture. tired, you reached out for your phone and answered the call without looking at the screen.

“hello?” you groggily said, “whoever you are, you’ve interrupted my siesta and i may hate you for that.”

“well, hello to you, my daughter.” your father’s voice rang through your ears. “and i’m sorry if i interrupted your nap, but would you be so kind and open your front door please?”

“what?”

“open the door, i’ve been out here for almost fifteen minutes.”

and off you went to your front door, toto was greeted by a grumpy daughter whose eyebrows were furrowed. you looked at your father, “what are you doing here, dad?”

“no ‘hallo, vater’? no ‘how are you doing, dad?’. none?” he joked, entering your place as you made way for him and closed the door. “okay, i will be quick. come with us to barcelona this weekend.”

your eyes widened, “what? i have work, i can’t just leave.”

“your brother told me that you have a flexible work schedule, that you’re allowed to bring your work everywhere you go.” your dad replied.

“theodore wolff, that little bitch.” you cursed under your breath, you couldn’t help but facepalm with what your brother just did. “dad–”

“i know that tone, y/n wolff.” toto stopped you from continuing your sentence, “come on, it’ll be just like the old days! except your brother isn’t here because his finals week aligned with the weekend in barcelona.”

you bit your lip, making a decision as your father can be impatient. if you go to the race, the possibility of running to george is high–no matter how much effort you exert on avoiding the man, you simply can’t as he is, of course, a driver for mercedes. but, it’ll be good for you as well! you haven’t gone to spain for years, a change of environment and working outside of your home office may be good for you as well. you work only on weekdays, and you’ll be free for the rest of the weekend so you wouldn’t think of work that much in case.

“okay fine, i’ll go with you. when’s the flight?”

“tonight.”

“TONIGHT?! dad, a little heads up would’ve been nice!”

“i’m sorry, pack your bags and we’ll pick you up by 8.” toto said, planting a kiss on your head. “i’ll go now, we’ll see you later!”

—

on saturday morning, arriving at the paddock with your father, a lot of people approached you by the entrance. some asked for pictures, some for autographs (which you didn’t quite understand), and some were nice enough to greet you. to say that you’re nervous is an understatement. you were returning to the paddock, you’re about to see george, his fiancée–the people you've been avoiding for months were in barcelona with you. you opted to stay in your hotel since your arrival in spain, finishing all the work you have left before proceeding with your weekend. as you walk to the paddock with toto, you could feel your palm sweat and your stomach turn the more you get closer to mercedes’ garage.

“word is, footballers are in red bull’s garage.” you overheard one of the mechanics upon entering the garage. the word football made you even more nervous than you already were.

“oh come on, mate. i think i’ve seen a few yesterday! that’s old news!”

“i haven’t seen any yesterday but so far, i’ve seen james, felix, chilwell–” please don’t tell me mason is here. “–and mount. just last year they were in monaco, weren’t they?”

the other mechanic nodded his head. mason is here. breathing the same air as you, probably a few metres away from you even. i knew this was a bad idea. you thought to yourself.

“you look like you saw a ghost.” said your father after speaking to the engineers.

you shook your head, “well, i think i’m about to see one today.” you joked, “i-uh, i’ll go out to find something to drink.”

toto raised an eyebrow, a bit unsure of your change of behaviour but you gave him a smile and reassured that you’ll be back. “alright, just…be back before quali, alright?”

you nodded your head and exited the garage. walking around the paddock like you were a normal guest, someone who just wants to enjoy the weekend. but it’s hard when people recognize you as toto wolff’s daughter, and as much as you try to stay away from the crowd, people still approached you. little did you know, someone has spotted you.

“oi, mason!” ben called his teammate, walking towards the man who’re talking with the other players. “guess who i saw walking around the paddock?”

“who?”

ben took a step closer to the younger, whispering your name. mason felt his heart skip a beat, realising the same thing you’ve thought about just a few minutes ago: you were here, breathing the same air as him.

it's funny that you're calling me tonight

and, yes, i've dreamt of you too

and does he know you're talking to me?

will it start a fight?

no, i don't think she has a clue.

needless to say, you were good at hiding. mason had presented the pirelli pole position award to max, he wanted to know if you were there to see him next to the driver. but as he scanned the sea of crowd, you were nowhere to be found. after the qualifying, you returned back to your hotel–reasoning that you were exhausted and had a headache. as soon as you were back, you changed clothes and plopped yourself on the bed. but it wasn’t so soon when your phone started ringing, a number you once called.

“hello?”

“a little birdie told me that you were in the paddock today.”

you sighed, closing your eyes but held the phone close to your earshot. “was it ben?”

“you know it. he’s always liked you–in a platonic way, i mean.”

silence followed right after he had mentioned ben, you were exhausted to even reply.

“y/n–”

“it’s so funny that you’re calling me tonight, mason.” you said, “i assumed the night i called you, you would’ve blocked my number.”

“you know i would never do that. we’ve been together for a long time, y/n.”

“i must be living in your head, mason.”

mason scoffed on the other end of the line, “well, i wasn’t thinking of you until the night you called.” he replied, “and yes, i’ve dreamt of you too.”

you jolted up from the bed when you heard a knock on the door, with the phone on the other hand you made your way to the door. you didn’t even bother looking through the peephole to see who was knocking on your door late in the night, you just assumed it was your dad. promptly, you opened the door–lo and behold, mason mount was standing in front of you. unable to speak, you still held your phone by your ear and stared at him, him and his stupid smile. mason was the one who ended the call and shoved his phone into his pocket.

“hi,” he said, “it’s been a few months, y/n.”

“how did you–what are you–i’m so confused right now.” you expressed, about to shut the door but mason was quick enough to stop you. “what do you want, mason?”

“does he know you’re talking to me? will it start a fight?” he asked, completely ignoring your question and welcomed himself inside your room, shutting the door close. “george. does george know?”

“i called it off with him the night i left a letter for you, mason. i went to his place and i ended things with you both at the same time.”

mason scoffed, shaking his head in disbelief. “wow,” he exclaimed, “george had the in-person “break-up” and all i got is a stupid fucking letter?”

“mason–”

“that is bullshit, y/n. pure bullshit.” mason barked, “all this time, george got the closure that i should’ve had. me–y/n, i was the one you dated for a long time and all i fucking got is a lousy letter about the truth of your affair with george?”

“i was supposed to, mason!” you yell back, “i was supposed to tell you, but the timing just wasn’t right.”

“and you thought lying straight to my face when i asked you about it, was okay?” you were about to answer, but mason was already rushing to the door. when he was about to exit, he said: “i went here thinking i could finally get the closure i needed, but fuck, was i wrong about this.”

you scoff, “that’s on you, then. you come running to the girl who cheated on you.” you said, “does lia know that you’re still hung up on your past? because i don’t think she has a clue.”

ynwolff

liked by susie_wolff, mercedesamgf1, lewishamilton and others

ynwolff so many familiar faces here in spain 🇪🇸 here’s a little dump of my weekend here 🤓

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yourbffsig oh i know who those familiar faces were 😉

ynwolff 😂 stop

yourbffsig we’re going to a party tonight after what happened, we need to get wasted!!

ynwolff as long as i make it back home on time and alive, let’s gooo

mercedesamgf1 glad to have you back in the garage, y/n! 🐺

ynwolff glad to see the team secure a double podium, thank you for having me! 🖤

mercedesamgf1 a great weekend indeed!

yourmomsig missing you so much, sweetheart! hope you enjoyed x

ynwolff miss you too mum ❤️

theowolff what about me 😓

ynwolff miss you too dumbass 🙄 you’re the reason why i went so you should’ve been with me, i could’ve avoided an unexpected circumstance hahahah

theowolff if only school let me 💀 but hey, at least you ‘enjoyed’

ynwolff i’m blocking you!!

user1 OMG SHES IN THE PADDOCK WHAT IF SHE SAW OR TALKED TI MASE IM DELULU (ALSO TOTO ON THE LAST SLIDE? LMAO)

user2 stop with these assumptions I BEG YALL

user3 people should learn how to stfu im being fr rn

user4 that’s toto’s reaction when he read your comment

user2 also the cryptic messages HELLO ?? i dont think they saw each other or if they did, it probably didn’t go so well

user3 you’re onto something babes 👀

masonmount

liked by declanrice, benchilwell, redbullracing and others

masonmount thank you redbullracing and jodieporter8 for everything!

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liamendes meu belo homem 😩🫶 i love you!

— ❤️ by masonmount

redbullracing THANK YOU!! 🫶

user5 when i tell yall this man is so FINE 🤌🏻

user6 this man is scrump-DILLY-tious

user7 yall CALM DOWN

user8 mason did something happen between u and y/n bc her posts have some sort of cryptic hints and i kinda wanna know whats going on tnx (jk hahaha love u both)

user9 HELPPP me too 😓 like what does her bff mean when she said “whag happened” and y/n saying “unexpected circumstance” LIKE GIVE ME SOMETHING??? A TEA PERHAPS???

user10 currently dying to know what the fucj happened in barcelona

#mason mount x reader #mason mount imagine #mason mount angst #football instagram au #football x reader #football imagine #football angst #football x you #football x y/n

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