#they both love science and WILL NOT hesitate to remind you every 5 seconds

[s-t-r-n-g-e]

Varian the Alchemist is basically Carlos the Scientist in a different font and vice versa

I will not be elaborating any further and I will not be taking criticism at this time, just know I’m right

[lykaios2]

Like Father Like Daughter: Part 2

here is the second part of @httpjiikook's request! Part 1 can be found here

also obligatory author's note: this was definitely interesting to write, I've never written anything much other than x readers, so this was a nice change of pace! I hope you enjoy the second part ❤️

And before she could even have a second thought, they had locked eyes. Unbeknownst to Lily, the turtles had been looking for the people who had nearly become victims to the Foot Clan. She almost immediately recognized them.

"Casey! Wait!"

Casey turned to see the situation he had dreaded most. He winced, then took a deep breath and followed Lily back.

The turtles had already started walking over to where they were. As they grew closer, they slowed down out of caution, making sure no more trouble was coming to them. They politely asked if Lily and Casey were okay, to which they said that they were.

"You guys should be careful. This is a dangerous part of town."

"Oh...we didn't know. We're not from here."

"And...you two aren't scared at all by our appearances?"

Casey tried to awkwardly explain that where they were from, people like the turtles weren't exactly abnormal.

"Anyhow, you guys said you're new to New York, right? Why don't we show them around?"

"Oh, we would love that!"

Casey reluctantly agreed, but pulled Lily aside before they left. He sternly reminded her that under no circumstances must they ever reveal their true identities, or where they had come from. Lily said she would, but in the back of her mind she had already considered telling them that she was, in fact, Donatello's daughter from the future.

After their discussion, the turtles started introducing themselves. She already had guessed who each of them was, but she let them proceed with their introductions. It was quite fascinating to her, seeing all of them so young. She had only known them as adults, and most of it was from stories she had been told.

"Vamanos, hermanos! There is much to see!"

Of course, living in New York their entire life, the turtles knew every secret that one could possibly think of. Lily was in awe by their incredible knowledge of the city, being amazed at every new place they visited. They each took turns showing off their favorite spot: Leonardo's was the skate park, Michelangelo's was his favorite restaurant, Raphael's was a smaller park on the edge of the city, and Donatello's was the science museum.

The whole time they were hanging out, Lily was completely immersed. The whole experience was unreal to her. She was having such an amazing time, learning about and interacting with the people she never got a chance to do so with. It almost made her forget about the apocalypse, and her old life.

Eventually, they ended up in the turtle's lair underground. At this point, even Casey had come to relax a bit, seeing how much Lily was enjoying herself. Casey watched from a distance as the 5 of them talked like old friends.

"So Lily, do you have any family?"

"Thankfully, yes. I've lost a lot of people close to me...so it's good to still have people."

"Oh...well, yes, that's good. Is it a sensitive topic for you?"

Lily hesitated before nodding. The turtles could tell that bringing up family had certainly stirred up some unpleasant memories for her, so they switched up their questions.

"You know, now that we're not out and about, the lighting here makes me realize your skin is looking a little...off. A bit green almost. Are you alright?"

"Oh, I see it now. And speaking of appearances, your eyes look very familiar...Donnie, look at me, will you? Lily, you too."

They both stared at him. Leonardo closely looked at both of them, his gaze quickly switching between the two. He pulled Raphael and Michelangelo over, and was whispering to them. The looks on the rest of their faces had both Donatello and Lily concerned. They exchanged worried glances waiting for the others to finish talking. Eventually, Raphael spoke up.

"You know...have you two realized how similar you look? Here, follow me."

They all followed Raph, including Casey, and piled into the bathroom. They all watched in anticipation as Donatello and Lily stared at one another, inspecting each other's features until they were satisfied.

"I will admit, we look strikingly similar. Quite the coincidence I must say."

"Yeah...what a coincidence."

They all returned to the main area, with Lily taking up the rear. She didn't want to show it, but an idea had been in the back of her mind the whole time she was here. She wanted so badly to reveal who she truly was. Whenever Donatello became the main point of conversation, she had to keep herself from blurting out that she was his daughter. She knew that not only would Casey be mad at her, but it would probably freak out the turtles as well. But the thought had become so strong, her will was close to breaking.

"Lily? You coming?"

She had not realized she had stopped walking, and only now remembered what was happening. She nodded and caught up with the rest of them.

For the rest of the night, she tried to keep the thought at the back of her mind. She tried to focus on spending time with her new friends, but the thought of revealing her identity kept coming back again and again.

The turtles, on the other hand, could tell something was off. She just seemed...not all there. Like her mind was somewhere else. They worried it was because they had done something wrong.

"Hey, Lily..."

"Hm? What's up?"

"Are you feeling okay? You seem like you've got something on your mind."

Lily winced. Had it been that obvious? She didn't know what to do, so she said she'd return in a second and left the room. She went over to where Casey was and sat down next to him.

"Casey, would it really be that big of a deal if...if I told them who I really was?"

Casey started to freak out. He started to reprimand her, reminding her about how keeping their identity secret was the one big rule he had set. Lily sat and listened to him again, all the while becoming more and more disappointed. However, while Casey was lecturing her, he stopped. He looked at the expression on her face. Lily looked at him as he was deep in thought.

"Lily...listen to me. I know I said not to ever reveal your identity under any circumstances...but I understand this is a once in a lifetime opportunity for you. I think it would be...rude of me. To not let you do this. If you really want to...you can. And now that I think about it, Donatello would probably be pretty happen to learn that time travel is indeed possible."

Her face lit up. She started thanking him profusely, shaking his hand and giving him a hug. Casey just smiled. After thanking him one last time, Lily rushed back into the room where the turtles were and sat back down.

"Wow, that was fast. And whatever you did surely raised your spirits quite a bit."

"Yes, definitely. Although, can I tell you guys something? I've been hiding something from you all this time...and I think you should know."

The turtles looked a bit confused. They were all a bit upset that their new friend had been hiding things from them, but they were listening now.

"I don't even know if you guys will believe this...but I'm from the future."

Their jaws all dropped. Raphael and Leonardo were shocked, but Donatello and Michelangelo were excited.

"And...Donatello."

He leaned closer, listening even more intently.

"I'm your daughter."

That was the last straw. Immediately they were all over her with questions. How did she get here? What was the future like? Was Casey also from the future? Did they have any amazing stories or epic tales from their future selves? But most importantly, at least to Leo...

"How in the hell did Donnie pull a girl?!"

[lovenhlboys]

From a Distance (E.Pettersson X Reader)

Chapter 1

Masterlist

Tag list form

A/n: hello peoples!! I’m so excited to FINALLY post the first chapter of this fic!!! I’ve been working on it for a long time, and after a few unpleasant delays, it’s finally happening 😁. While this isn’t my first fic, this is my first NHL fic, and the first fic I’m posting on Tumblr, so I’m a little nervous. This first chapter is mostly the set up to the main story, this is reader’s side of things with a flashback story. Chapter two will be mostly from Elias’s point of view. The rest of the chapters will switch back and fourth between the two.

CREDIT: Finally, before we get started I have to shout out my proofreaders. Y’all put up with me and my insanity: @siriushxney @iateyourdonuts @petey-patty @hufflepuff-girlx @cherrylita @immmbabyyygraceee @💕💕And specifically @imagines-r-s ASH!!! Babes, you have been the best and most supportive friend I could’ve asked for during this. You boosted my confidence about this fic and I have no idea what I’d do without you 😁😁

Without further ado, let’s get started shall we!! (Sorry for the long A/N, it’ll only be for this first chapter)

Paring: Elias Pettersson X Fem!Reader

Warnings: lots of cursing, friends with benefits but like...just cuddling???, references to iCarly, mentions of One Tree Hill.

Genere: enemies-ish —>friends —> lovers

Legend: (i suggest having these ready before you read)

Y/C/N/N= your cute nick name, only Markstrom calls you it (you’ll see why) this can be either a pet name you like, or a nick name you already have.

Y/N/N= your nick name, Brock, Quinn, and a few others call you this, it’s more of a playful name. Again, this can be a nickname you already have (if you don’t have one I suggest something stupid (sounds like something Stech or Brock would come up with)

Y/N= this is your first name, only Elias calls you this unless it’s a serious situation, or you’re in trouble, or Brock is being an ass. (If it wasn’t clear before...your last name is Boeser)

Word Count: 2.2k

Summary: you have a hardcore crush on your brothers best friend, who also happens to barely speak to you...it’s a slight predicament.

--------------------------

(This is set in the 2021 season, however, because of my denial, Marky and Stech are still in Vancouver and were never traded... also no Covid. however the season was still delayed just to make it easier to follow.)

Present (Feb. 2021)

You’ve always been best friends with your older brother, you never had any real issues when you were younger and you were inseparable. So much so in fact, that once you graduated early a little less than two years ago (June 2019), he asked you to move to Vancouver and live with him. He was always so protective of you and you appreciated everything he has done in your life. One of the best parts about Brock being your older brother was the people he introduced to you. You aren’t very social and god knows how much of a people person your brother is. Once you had moved in, Brock quickly introduced you to the team. And with your double major in Statistics: Data Sciences and Sports Management, you were able to secure a job with the team. Quickly, you found yourself with a second family, one with many members.

Quinn Hughes is your best friend. when you met him about a year and a half ago, you hit it off immediately. With both of you being the same age and not very social, there was an obvious connection there. When Brock and The boys  go out, it is you and Quinn who stay in and watch shows on the couch (your favorite being New Girl). Huggy Bear is so sweet and you tell him EVERYTHING, even things you’d never tell your brother. You are still thanking the draft lottery every day that the Canucks received the 7th overall pick that gave you your bestie.

Thatcher Demko AKA Dems AKA Thatch AKA baby goalie is the sweetest and most hilarious guy you know. He is always looking after you just like Brock, but he is also one of the most annoying guys you know. When you’d first met you had the biggest crush on him. You told Quinn as much and he gave you so much shit for it. That crush was short-lived though, once you found out how obnoxious he could be. You still love him, just as a friend. Though Quinn never forgets to remind you of the crush that once was.

Bo Horvat is like another big brother to you. Sure you have Brock, but he’s your best friend. Bo, however, is the person you go to when you needed advice. Holly is one of the only WAGs you’ve become close with. She and you consistently have wine and gossip nights, of which Quinn is sometimes in attendance. Plus, you and Quinn are an amazing babysitting team for Gunnar if you have anything to say about it. 

Troy Stecher is the annoying older brother you never had. He always makes fun of you, calls you names, and bullies you in the loving way brothers do. And he never hesitates to come to you if he ever needs girl advice, which seems to happen a lot.

JT was just like Bo, except he is waaay more protective of you, maybe even a bit more than brock. He doesn’t have a sister and when you met, he made it his job to never see you get hurt. Seriously, one day a guy was bugging you at the bar, and both Brock and Bo were struggling to hold him back when he saw him slap you on the ass as you walked away. 

Jacob Markstrom, AKA Marky, AKA Giraffe (pronounced like it is in one of your favorite vines), AKA your cuddle buddy for the past few seasons. Both being single, you felt lonely sometimes and Quinn wasn’t much of a hugger (despite what the nickname might have you believe). Thatcher had offered but Marky, though just as social, is much more laid back. It also helps that he is 6’6 putting him over a foot taller than you. So during movie nights, or late nights at the bar, he is the side you lean on. Of course, you made it abundantly clear to most of the boys and yourselves that you were just friends. As sweet as he was and as great of a boyfriend as he would’ve been, he wasn’t quite your type and your personalities clashed.

Then there was Elias Pettersson, the tall, skinny, Swedish guy you knew as Petey. The guy who looked at you often and barely spoke a word directed towards you. He was Brock's best friend and he came over all the time, you didn’t have an issue with him, and you couldn’t deny he was funny, and from what you’ve heard he is a very kind person. So naturally, he was exactly your type. You’ve had a massive crush on him for a while now, somehow despite the lack of conversation. And the few times he has talked to you, he’s seemed so perfect, but there are only a few times you can remember. 

Right now, as you're on your way to the Canuck’s break room your brother texted you to meet him in, you try to recall those few times, specifically the one where your crush on him truly developed.

--------------------------

FLASHBACK (some time in January, 2020)

--------------------------

You, Quinn, and Jacob were laying on the L-shaped couch in ‘The Boeser apartment’, you were cuddled under the blanket with Jacob, laying on the section perpendicular to the TV, your heads at the corner. Quinn was on the other side of the couch, his head right next to yours. it was about 7 o’clock and the episode of One Tree Hill you were watching had just ended and you three had not eaten dinner yet. As the countdown for the next episode started, your stomach growled and you got a look from Quinn and a giggle from Jacob. 

“You hungry Y/C/N/N?” Jacob asked.

You looked up at him and giggled, “maybe just a little bit.”

“Y/N/N, you know what sounds amazing?” Quinn asked, you could hear the smirk in his voice.

You turned to each other and you both smirked knowing you were thinking the same thing.

“Spaghetti tacos!!” You both said. 

Ever since you were about 10 and you watched iCarly on TV, you had always wanted to try them. It had become an inside joke between you and Quinn for quite some time as he had the same desire as you to see how good they actually were.

“We should totally try them tonight!!” Quinn was quite excited.

“I’m so confused right now,” Jacob chimed in.

“They’re from a show! They take spaghetti and put it in taco shells,” you explained.

“Ahh, hence the name.” he nodded.

“Exactly,” Quinn said.

You jumped up from the couch excitedly and ran straight to your kitchen.

“Ok, we have spaghetti, spaghetti sauce, ground beef, taco shells, aaaand..... by chance do either of you know how to make good meatballs?”

“You’re asking the Swedish guy if he knows how to make meatballs?” Jacob replied.

“Not Swedish meatballs, Italian, stupid Giraffe,” you retorted. 

“Gross,” he said with a disgusted look.

“Ooo my mom made the best Italian meatballs, let me call her to see if she can send me the recipe!” Quinn said with a big smile.

Quinn exited the kitchen and ran to your room to call his mom. 

“You know, I’ve never seen him so excited about anything,” Marky said with a laugh. 

“Quinn loves his food,” you replied.

“Are Brock and Thatch having dinner with us ?”

“I’ll ask.”

You started boiling the water for the pasta, and you cooked part of the ground beef for the meat sauce. Then you texted Brock:

Y/N/N: hey, you want me to make you dinner

Brock: Yeah, who all is there?

Y/N/N: the usual

Brock: Huggy and Marky?

Y/N/N: yep, so do you want some?

Brock: Yeah, and make enough for another person too

Y/N/N: ok

You figured it was Dems since that’s who he went to hang out with when he left 5 hours ago. 

You continued to cook when Quinn came in and grabbed a bunch of stuff from the pantry and cabinets. “Did your mom tell you how to make them?” you questioned your frantic best friend.

“Yes she did and she sent me the recipe too.”

“Coolio,” you reply.

------------------------

You were almost done cooking, the pasta was done, Quinn had put his meatballs in the oven and there were only 5 minutes left on the timer. And the sauce had about 2 minutes to simmer.

“Oh my gosh, I forgot what to do when they're almost done, she does this thing, I have to call her,” Quinn said with a panicked look on his face. He ran back to your room.

The front door to your apartment opened quickly, both boys laughing, “ahh, shit,  my brother’s calling me,” Brock said as he ran back to his room.

“Why does everyone feel the need to exit the room for phone calls?” you asked Jacob.

He shrugged with a giggle, “I don't know, maybe they don’t trust us,” he said in a sarcastically dramatic tone grasping his chest.

The door closed slowly and you glanced at the doorway where you thought you’d see the ever adorable goalie, Thatcher Demko, instead, you saw the adorable, slender, tall blonde you’d seen all the time, but never had a one on one interaction with... except the first time you met, when he told you that you looked pretty.

“Hi, Petey!” Jacob said as he slipped behind you to watch you mix the sauce, he stood over you looking at the sauce and put his hand on your waist.

“Hi,” he replied, his smile from before had faded.

“Looks so good Y/C/N/N,” Jacob said with a kiss on your cheek, a regular action. 

“Thanks, Giraffe, can you grab the taco shells?”

He grabbed them easily from the top shelf (tall ass bitch -_-), and moved behind you, placing his hands on your waist yet again, to move you to the side. “I've gotta run to the bathroom, but I’ll be right back”

“Ok, you have fun with that,” you said with a wink.

Suddenly, was only you and Elias in the room, and the silence was deafening.

“So what are we eating?” he said, pulling your attention to his bright blue eyes.

“Um, spaghetti tacos, they're from a tv sho-”

“Like from iCarly?” he interrupted.

“...Uh yeah? How'd you know?” you couldnt pull your attention away from his eyes, ‘they are just so beautiful,’ you thought somehow you hadnt noticed this within the on and a half years you’d known him.

“We also get Nickelodeon, you know,” he said while throwing you a smirk that made your stomach flip. 

“Oh, I didn't know that,” you replied, feeling just a little embarrassed. 

“iCarly was my favorite, actually.” 

“Yeah, it was mine too,” you said, smiling back, looking at the way he just lit up your kitchen with his presence.

You both stood there for a second just looking at the other, “So how long have-,” he started.

“OKAY,” Quinn unknowingly interrupted, “so she told me what to do, turns out I have to put sauce over them for the last 2 minutes, so Y/N/N can you just put a tablespoon of sauce on each ball then put them back in for two minutes?” 

“Yeah of course. Elias, you were saying?” you looked back at the Swede.

“Oh it's nothing,” he looked down at his shoes. 

“Ok, Y/N/N you need to call mom and tell her we’re fine and that she doesn't need to worry about us please, Paul says she’s stressing,” Brock said as he entered the room.

“When is she not stressing about us? I’ll call her after dinner, how's dad?”

“Doin’ good, nothing has changed or progressed or whatever since we were home last,” Brock moved and sat on the couch letting out a big sigh.

“That’s good,” you let out a sigh.

“Petey, come here, we’re watching Gossip Girl” Brock shouted at the Swede.

“Ooo what episode are you guys on?” you asked. Brock had mentioned how he was making him watch the show you two had watched about 5 times together. 

“Just after Chuck gets Dan kidnapped at Yale.” 

“Oh so you still hate Chuck?” you asked Elias.

“Ew, yeah...wait is that gonna change?” Petey said with a scoff.

“Uh....,” you stalled.

“Y/N shut up, don't spoil it,” Brock interrupted before you could make it worse.

“Ok well, dinner is ready so just start the show after and we can all watch it together.”

--------------------------

“Oh my god, these are actually amazing,” Quinn said with his mouth full.

“I know, I did not think this was gonna taste good,” Jacob added.

“Hey!” you said, offended.

“Y/C/N/N, you know I love your cooking, it was the idea of the meal that I doubted,” Jacob said leaning into your side and putting his arm around your shoulder.

“Mmmhmm, suuure,” you said, rolling your eyes.

“Hallå Marky, ni två är söta (hey Marky, you two are cute),” Petey said, confusing you, Quinn and Brock with the sudden change in language.

Jacob, being oblivious to what Petey was implying, just said, “tack broder (thanks, bro).”

Little did you know what was going on in Elias’s head.

--------------------------

PRESENT

--------------------------

Before that night, you never really thought of Elias in a romantic way. You'd been around him quite a lot, seeing as how, seemingly, is in your apartment more than his own. Sure, you knew he was cute and very sweet from what you'd seen, but up until that point, you'd never had a one-on-one interaction with him. That interaction, however small, was the beginning of an obsessive crush. Quinn was the first to point it out, you started listening closely any time he talked, attempting to converse with him, and thinking about him on a daily basis even when you didn't see him. And due to your stubbornness, no matter how unrequited your crush seemed, it never faltered. You had always thought he hated you, or maybe he just tolerated you because you were Brock’s sister, and you were always around. 

However, that couldn't be farther from the truth.

--------------------------

Tag list: @calgarycanuck @suffering-canucks-fan

[psychedellic-phase]

Fifteen (pt 5)

A/N: I had a little mental block when trying write this one! I think it worked out in the end but better is coming ! I promise. Enjoyy :)

masterlist

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4)

Word count: 3.4k

tw: none, fluff :)

Spencer didn’t dream about you. When he woke up, he was sweaty and disoriented and had no recollection of the dreams he had. He fell asleep next to the box fully clothed, his arm thrown across where you should have been. In those first few moments of morning when you aren’t quite sure where you are or who you are, he reached around for you and found nothing but emptiness. 

‘Emptiness? No that can’t be right. She was right here.’ 

Just as he thought it, the truth occurred to him. 

‘She was never here. Just the box. Wait, the box. Where is the box?’

He shot up quickly, getting a little dizzy, and frantically looked around the room. He saw that he had knocked the box over while he slept and the contents were scattered all over the floor. He groaned and went to pick everything up. His hands found all the items and he put them away carefully, not peeking. He didn’t want to ruin the surprise. When everything was put back where it belonged, he sighed and sat on his bed, staring longingly out the window. 

It was barely 6 am and the sun had risen, but he couldn’t see it behind the thick gray clouds that lined the sky. It was snowing. Not a rare thing to see in Virginia, but it was very appropriate for this day. You loved snow, wintertime, the holidays, all of it. You even tried to get him to go skiing with you a few times, which he refused to do. He is extremely clumsy in nature and would definitely hurt himself or someone else if he tried. It’s a miracle they even let him carry a gun. Besides, he’s more suited to drinking hot cocoa in the lodge by a fire. The cold is much less forgiving to him. Growing up in Vegas made him partial to the heat. Even though he had lived on the East coast for many years, he’d still complain anytime the temperature dropped below 40 and bundle up in a wool coat and scarf.  Your New England roots on the other hand, taught you to handle the cold much better. When he’d complain about being freezing, you would tell him that he had no idea what real cold was like, and when you would complain about the heat he’d return the sentiment. 

He left the box on the bed and took a shower. He needed to wash everything from the last day off.  It was therapeutic to just stand in the hot water and let it burn slightly, reminding him he could still feel. This had been so emotionally draining; he could barely remember the last time he cried so much. Today he just felt numb, barely bothering to put on more than sweatpants, but somehow mustering up enough energy to make a pot of coffee. He had a feeling he’d need the whole thing to get through the next twelve letters. Each one felt heavier in his hands than the previous did, and each cut a little deeper too. With a cup of coffee in hand, he fished around for envelope #4. 

“Spence, this next one is special. You’ll know why the second you pick it up. #4: The Book of Margery Kempe.”

He smiled and ran his hands over the book, his mother’s favorite. The spine was bent like it’d been cracked open many times, and the pages were worn and well read. He could tell it was your personal copy because of the dog-eared pages. You always did that, making him grimace every time you creased the corner of a page. 

“You could just use a bookmark, Y/N,” He’d say, earning an eye roll from you. 

“A book should look like it’s been read, that’s why I buy paperbacks and write in them! I want anyone who picks up something I’ve read to feel how much I loved it, that way they love it too.” 

That comment always made him smile, “Fine, just don’t do it to any of my books.”

“Don’t worry Dr. Reid, I only do it to my personal collection.”

The memory felt warm and inviting, but ended quickly. Instead, he grabbed the book, the letter, and his coffee and sat at the chess table he had pushed against a window. He wanted to see the snow while he read, just to feel closer to you.  

“I bought for our flight to Vegas, the trip where I met your mother for the first time. You mentioned Kempe was her favorite, and I so badly wanted to impress her. I know she’s...well she’s her. But you’re her pride and joy, Spence, I didn’t want to disappoint her. Or disappoint you for that matter. Remember when you asked? 

“I’d like you to come with me next week,” You said over an IHOP pancake breakfast. 

“To Vegas?”

You nodded, “Yeah I’d love if you came with me. You could see my hometown.”

“I’ve been to Vegas, Love.”

I know it seemed like I didn’t want to go, that isn’t the case. I did want to go. I wanted to go so bad, but I was hesitant. I was so terrified that I would mess up. I didn’t want to ruin us, we’d been doing so well. I felt like this would be a defining moment in our relationship (spoiler alert: it was) and I didn’t want to risk it going poorly. 

“Yeah on cases! And that is not the impression of Vegas I want you to have. C’mon please? It would mean the world to my mom.”

I think I choked on my pancake, “Your mom? She knows about me?”

“Of course she does, I write her letters all the time.”

“Your mom knows about us, and you want me to meet her?” 

You smiled and nodded, “Yeah Y/N, how many times do I have to say it? I want you to meet my mom.”

That’s probably when I tackled you in a hug in the middle of an IHOP. That solidified the fact that you trusted me. I knew you trusted me at work, but the fact that you were willing to show me that side of you, the side you don’t really show anyone? I can’t thank you enough for it. 

We’d been together just over six months, which to most people that seems like a long time to wait to meet the parents, especially when we were already so serious, but your situation is different. I wanted you to do it in your own time. 

My family on the other hand, you met them pretty early into us dating. My niece turned one a few months into us being together and I dragged you to Connecticut for the party. Everyone loved you, of course they did. There isn’t one thing to not love about you. Nate and my dad were definitely not thrilled that I was bringing you. Nate tries to be all Big Brother-y but it’s all an act, he’s a softie. And dad would rather I marry a rich man and be a stay at home mom. I can hear him now saying, “Y/N if your mother were here to see you thirty and unwed she would be so disappointed !” Dads. They’re the worst, but I don’t have to tell you that.”

For some reason that made him chuckle, having rough/nonexistent relationships with your fathers was just another item on the long list of things you had in common. On paper, you were a perfect match. But that was the only place. 

“But somehow, you didn’t have to wear them down, they just loved you instantly. Even Mia loved you, and she was one! You handed her toys and helped her put on her shoes. You talked to my dad about whatever he had on the History channel. It was perfect. You fit right in with us; it was like you completed us, you were the missing piece that we didn’t even know we needed. I know Mia will miss you; you were always so good with her. I think we’ll all miss you. And my dad is going to hate that I will not be married off any time soon, but he can deal with that. 

But back to your mom. To say I was nervous to meet her is probably the biggest understatement of all time. The way you love and care about her is one of the many reasons I fell in love with you. The way a guy treats his mom says a lot about how he’ll treat you, and with you it said ‘oh my god he’s perfect’. You do everything you can for her, even though it’s the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do. I admire that; I can only wish to be that kind and giving. 

We both took a few days off to go see her, and when we were in the airport I pulled out this book and tried to read it. 

“That’s mom’s favorite,” You said, smiling at me shyly. 

“I know.” 

The plane was delayed due to a storm. We sat waiting and waiting for a few hours, your hand on my thigh and my head on your shoulder as I desperately tried to read this book. I really did. I stumbled through about 50 pages but had retained literally nothing. I found myself rereading sentences like ten times over and trying to decode them. I felt embarrassed about it. You could read the whole thing with your morning coffee and immediately recite it forwards and backwards, and translate it into Korean and Russian flawlessly and there I was, sounding out every word. It’s not like I can’t read. I can read, I just can’t read and comprehend 1500s English very well. Science was always my strong suit.

I didn’t get much farther on the plane ride either. You, on the other hand, brought a whole library in your carry on and on that 5 hour plane ride you read two thick books, took an hour long nap, played solitaire (twice), won war against me (twice), and ate all the snacks I brought for you. And in that same time frame, I had gotten through maybe half of the book, taking very long breaks to stare out the window, talk to you, and try to sleep. 

“What part are you at?” You asked me at one point and I just kind of stared at you. 

“Uh, the uh, part where she’s going to Jerusalem?”

You chuckled, “That’s not very far.”

I shoved you playfully, “Hey! It’s confusing and hard to understand!”

You reached for the book, trying to take it from me, “Let me see.”

I moved it out of reach, “No! I need to figure it out on my own.” You smiled and let me keep trudging along. 

When you woke up from your nap your head was on my shoulder and I was running my fingers through your hair like I usually do did when you slept. 

“You don’t have to read it, Y/N,” you mumbled, your voice groggy with sleep. It’s always raspy when you first wake up. 

“I know, I just thought maybe I would impress her.”

You smiled and leaned over and kissed my cheek, “I love that, but don’t worry. I promise she’ll love you.”

Then you nuzzled into the crook of my neck and fell back asleep. I put my head on top of yours, closed the book, and allowed myself to do the same. 

When we landed, it was hot. Like, ungodly hot. No wonder you can't stand the cold. 

We first went to the hotel and I changed into more appropriate clothes for the weather. You somehow still had on slacks and a shirt, I don’t know how you didn’t sweat to death. I drove us to the sanitarium, and you were nervous, you barely even spoke. You were twiddling with your fingers and bouncing your leg, I didn’t have to use my profiling skills to figure it out. The radio was off and you stared out the window. 

“How long has it been?” I finally said. 

“Three hundred and six days.”

I just nodded, your nerves added onto mine tenfold and I thought I may faint. I got us there safely though. 

“You stay here, I’m going to see if it’s a good day. If not we’ll come tomorrow,” You said. 

I just nodded and leaned over to kiss you. It took way longer than I thought it would for you to come out and when you did you were smiling. Huge. 

“Good day?” I asked, hopping out of the car. You just nodded, still grinning ear-to-ear. You grabbed my hand and every nerve I had melted away. You always had that effect on me, even when we were just friends. No one will ever get me in the same way again. Even if they tried, I wouldn’t let them. You were it for me”

Spencer reached for the mug to take another sip and found it was already empty. He stared into the bottom of the mug where some sugar hadn’t dissolved and mulled over that last sentence.

You were it for me.

He put the mug down forcefully, knocking a few chess pieces over.

So then why wouldn’t you LET him be it for you?

“You led me to her, pulling me behind you, whispering reassurances to me the entire time. 

“Mom, this is Y/N, Y/N this is my mother.”

I came out from behind you, probably looking like a meek little mouse, “Hello.” I waved. 

“Now Spencer, you didn’t tell me she was pretty.”

You blushed and stammered, she chuckled, “It’s nice to finally meet you Y/N. I’ve heard a lot about you.” 

“Likewise,” I said, and shook her hand. It was warm and soft like yours. In fact, so much of her is in you. You don’t look the same, but your mannerisms are pretty close to identical. Her hair is lighter than yours but equally as wild. I love her, because she’s you. So many parts of you, the best parts of you. She made you, and I love you, so I love her too. 

You let us talk alone for a while and she told me about your childhood. How she called you ‘crash’ because you were always running into something. How you were always the smartest kid around and how she was so proud to be your mom. She told me about the letters you send her, much like the one I’m writing right now. You told her about all our adventures, nights crying over Emily, the film festival, Jacksonville (PG version of course); you told her all of it. Your mom had your version of our love story hidden in letters somewhere in her room. That inspired me to write my version, the version you’re reading right now. 

She told me she knew we were together before you even told her because all your letters became about me. All the case stories had me and you as the stars, everyone else falling into the background. Hearing how you talked to her about me made my insides feel all fuzzy. You told her I was intelligent, courageous, empathetic, funny, and pretty much every other positive adjective you could find. 

“I’ve never heard him talk about anyone the way he talks about you,” she told me, “He definitely cares about you.”

I smiled, “I’ve never cared about anyone as much as I care about him.”

“So you love him?” 

I was taken aback at first, and paused for a moment to think, “Yeah, I do.”

It’s a weird thing to say to your boyfriend’s mom the first time you meet her, but she’s just so easy to talk to. It’s double weird because I hadn’t even told you that I loved you yet. I was being honest, I never loved anyone the way I loved you. 

“I couldn’t ask for anything more for him.”

Then I hugged her awkwardly and you came back in. I was trying and failing to suppress the smile on my face the whole time. The three of us talked until visiting hours were over. We left her with the promise that we’d be back again tomorrow.

“I was right Y/N, she loves you!” You said as we climbed back into the rental.

“She’s pretty great,” I said and held your face in my hand, “So are you.”

Tomorrow never came. 

The next day was a bad one for her, so you took me to the neighborhood you grew up in, pointing out the sites you wanted me to see and telling me the memories you had there. You took me to get chicken fried lobster at Binion’s. You held my hand as we walked down the Las Vegas strip, pointing out the ones you’re banned from. On the last day, we ordered room service and spent all day in bed, not bothering to get dressed. I loved learning about your past. At the time I anticipated being part of your whole future; I would be in every story for the rest of your life. I hate that now I’m just another chapter of it.

On the flight home I cracked open the book again and this time I read it with newfound vigor. I had a new appreciation for it after talking to your mom. You watched me flip through it, highlighting and annotating like I was in English class. You peered over my shoulder the whole time, and don’t think I didn’t see the smirk on your face. 

“When her crying passed, she came before the Archbishop and fell down on her knees, the Archbishop saying very roughly to her, “Why do you weep so, woman?” I read aloud, looking up into your warm eyes as we descended. 

“She answering said, ‘Sir, you shall wish some day that you had wept as sorely as I,’” you finished, not even having to look at the page. 

You have wept as sorely as I, Spencer, and I do not wish this feeling on anyone. 

I closed the book and held it to my chest, staring at you and mustering up the nerve to say it.

“I love you,” I whispered, just loud enough for you to hear. 

You tried to contain your grin and scrunched up your eyebrows. You cupped your ear and pretended you couldn’t hear me, “What was that?”

I rolled my eyes, “I love you.” I said it louder, more forcefully this time. 

“I love you too,” you said, no hesitation. 

I turned my head up to catch your lips and seal the whole weekend with a kiss. 

It’s kind of funny how I confessed my love for you up in the sky, among the clouds, somewhere over Virginia. It’s funny because I was on cloud nine, almost literally. It felt so good to finally say it. We were in love, arguably the most magical thing in the world. There is no one I would rather have experienced that with than you, Spence. And no one I will ever experience it with again. 

Your mother and I write to each other sometimes. Like remember when she went to the Grand Canyon? She may have sent you the Grand Canyon, but she sent me a turquoise necklace, which I will be keeping. She wrote to me once in the last few weeks since we broke up. I can’t answer. I can’t send her any more letters, it doesn’t feel right; it’s no longer my place. 

So next time you visit her, show her this. I hope she doesn’t mind that I wrote in parts of it, maybe someday I’ll be able to find it in myself to write to her again and she can tell me what I missed or got wrong. Give her a hug for me Spence, and tell her I’m sorry, I wish I could come in person to tell her, but I can’t. Tell her I already miss her. I know how happy she was for us, how excited she was about... well everything. How excited we all were. Tell her I’m sorry that I couldn’t do it. Thank her for making you who you are, the most amazing man alive. Tell her it’s been a privilege, because it has been. I mean that.”

Spencer cracked open the book and admired your dog-eared pages and highlighted bits, reading your annotations and rough translations of old English to modern English. He sighed and slid his fingers down the pages. His chest tightened as if he should cry, but no tears could fall anymore. Instead, he stood up and put the book on a shelf, where one day he’d read it again to remember that weekend. To remember you. He walked slowly back to the kitchen, filled his mug again and went to find the box.

(part 6)

tags! (if you would like to be added just let me know!): @l0ve-0f-my-life @aperrywilliams @helloniallslovelies @random-ravings @ajwantsapancake @boiled-onionrings @andiebeaword @frnks-stuff  

[quoteablebooks]

Genre: Science-Fiction, Fantasy, Paranormal, Romance

Rating: 5 out of 5 stars Summary: Alexia Tarabotti is laboring under a great many social tribulations.

First, she has no soul. Second, she’s a spinster whose father is both Italian and dead. Third, she was rudely attacked by a vampire, breaking all standards of social etiquette

Where to go from there? From bad to worse apparently, for Alexia accidentally kills the vampire–and then the appalling Lord Maccon (loud, messy, gorgeous, and werewolf) is sent by Queen Victoria to investigate.

With unexpected vampires appearing and expected vampires disappearing, everyone seems to believe Alexia responsible. Can she figure out what is actually happening to London’s high society? Will her soulless ability to negate supernatural powers prove useful or just plain embarrassing? Finally, who is the real enemy, and do they have treacle tart?

*Opinions*

Soulless is the first novel in the parasol protectorate series that follows Alexia Tarabotti through London’s society as one of the few preternatural’s in the world and the only known of in England. As the condition of preternatural is rare, it is only known to the supernatural set, especially Lord Conall Maccon who is the Chief Minister in Charge of Supernatural-Natural Liaison for the Greater London Area for the Bureau of Unnatural Registration as she continues to aggravate him at every turn. However, when newly made vampires start appearing in London with no Hive association and Alexia seems to be of interest to unknown individuals and waxlike figures, she must work with Lord Maccoon if she is going to be able to continue her peaceful life as a spinster, though that might not be in the cards even if she does survive.

**Spoilers Ahead**

Now, this is my second read-through of this novel and I have to say that I remembered it much differently than what was on the actual page. That isn’t to say that I didn’t enjoy the novel, I enjoyed it a lot, but I forgot that the romance was so central to the plot of what was happening with the newly made vampires and missing supernaturals throughout England. Luckily, I enjoy romance and the relationship between Alexia and Lord Maccon is one of my favorite types of dynamics, but I was also so fascinated by the world that Carriger created that I also wanted to know more about how it all worked. Carriger did a good job at explaining what the reader needed to know, especially if they hadn’t read the Finishing School series, but I’m just one of those people who are extremely fascinated by world-building and the rules of everything in an Urban Fantasy setting.

As romance is one of the central features, we should focus on that first. One of my favorite dynamics is equally matched partners in intelligence, wit, and bullheadedness, which is what we have in Alexia and Lord Maccon. They remind me of another one of my favorite romantic pairings, Amelia and Emerson in the Amelia Peabody Series. While it was a little annoying as a reader to have Alexia continually doubt the Lord’s intentions and affections, that’s because we also get parts of the story from the werewolf’s point of view and therefore aware that he is being genuine. Alexia has been put down all her life for her looks, half Italian lineage, and intelligence and interest in science so for a peer of the realm, who sees herself as only an annoyance to Lord Maccon, so it isn’t too out of the realm that she would deny the Lord’s advances. Speaking of Alexia’s family, I really wanted someone to slap her mother after she attempted to do the same to Alexia on two separate occasions. However, as the reader, when they are in a cell together close to death and the Lord says he wants to marry her, you’d think she wouldn’t need it spelled out for her. Then again, what woman doesn’t want to hear the person that they love to say that they love them out loud?

The plot of the story, the appearance of rove vampires that are not part of a Hive, and the disappearance of all the other roves and lone werewolves in England is an interesting one. How the supernaturals have set up a kind of checks and balance system both within society and the government is a good bit of world-building and then throwing someone as rare as Alexia into the mix sets up an interesting dynamic that I’m excited to see play out. I am terribly interested in the scientific studies that the Hypocras Club, as completely barbaric as they are, and how the mortals are turning toward science to attempt to take some of the control away from the supernaturals. Humans have always feared what they didn’t understand and when what you don’t understand is immortals who could kill indiscriminately if they chose, the desire of a set of the general public to have a weapon against them is understandable if misguided. If there is one thing that humans are good at, it’s trying to kill what scares us and what we don’t understand, supernatural, mortal, flora, and/or fauna. Carriger really doesn’t bring up how religion plays into all this, which is fine, but as that is usually what stands against the supernatural and the Templars are mentioned, I wonder if they will play a part in future novels.

There are also times of real fear and suspense in the story, especially in regards to the waxed-faced man, who turns out to be an automaton. The scene that we see from Alexia’s bedroom window and then the battle in the Hyprcras Club between the creature and Lord Maccon in the laboratory. While the final solution to this problem was slightly anti-climatic in my opinion, there had already been so much excitement it didn’t ruin the pacing or story. As someone who has read the Finishing Series novels, I’m aware of why there aren’t mechanical creatures all over London high society as well as what the octopus means that are seen all over the Hypocras Club and I wonder how that is going to continue to be an issue throughout the series.

I really do enjoy this novel, it’s a fast-paced and entertaining read with witty writing. Alexia is an interesting character, she and Lord Maccon are a fun couple, and the mystery is compelling. If you are not a romance reader, you may approach this novel with a little hesitation, but I think that the story is enough to sway even those who are not interested in romance-heavy novels. I’m excited to see where Alexia’s new job and new social status take her in the next novel.

[coffeebased]

I won’t be the first or last person to marvel at how quickly February whizzed past, especially in comparison to January’s gauntlet. To be completely fair to February, it had the ongoing COVID-19 international epidemic, as well as the ABS-CBN shutdown crisis, the anti-terrorism bill, the reminder that historical revisionism re: the Marcos dictatorship is alive and well… and those were just the actual headlines.

I must digress before I spiral.

I read 12 books in February, half of which were newly released in this month. I’ve split my post up into three parts like I did last month: one-shots, parts of series, and re-reads. It seems to be working well for me.

  Prosper’s Demon by K.J. Parker

The unnamed and morally questionable narrator is an exorcist with great follow-through and few doubts. His methods aren’t delicate but they’re undeniably effective: he’ll get the demon out—he just doesn’t particularly care what happens to the person.

Prosper of Schanz is a man of science, determined to raise the world’s first philosopher-king, reared according to the purest principles. Too bad he’s demonically possessed.

After I read Sixteen Ways to Defend a Walled City last year, I knew that I wanted more by Parker. I considered delving into his back catalog, which I still will probably do, but I saw that he was releasing a new book in Feb 2020, so I jumped on that first. Prosper’s is exactly up my alley, what with the discussions of morality and the greater good with demons, and quite a bit of engineering. I’d admired the voice of the main character in Sixteen because he was dry and very caught up in doing what needed to be done, and the main character has the same appealing values. It’s a short read, but it sticks in the teeth and fills the belly.

  Paladin’s Grace by T. Kingfisher

Stephen’s god died on the longest day of the year…

Three years later, Stephen is a broken paladin, living only for the chance to be useful before he dies. But all that changes when he encounters a fugitive named Grace in an alley and witnesses an assassination attempt gone wrong. Now the pair must navigate a web of treachery, beset on all sides by spies and poisoners, while a cryptic killer stalks one step behind…

Kingfisher, also known as Ursula Vernon, tends to write capable and damaged characters falling in with each other and foiling plots. She also tends to write paladins very well, which is a personal delight. I always enjoy a Kingfisher story, because the characters do the sensible thing more often than not, and she deals with trauma very compassionately, from what I suspect is a personal viewpoint. Her books are also usually very funny, very disturbing, and no-nonsense, scratching that Terry Pratchett Witch itch when I miss him very much. Grace is along the same lines, with a good solid HEA that leaves everyone, including the reader, satisfied.

  Kindred, a Graphic Novel Adaptation by Octavia Butler, adapted by Damian Duffy and illustrated by John Jennings

I lost an arm on my last trip home.

Home is a new house with a loving husband in 1970s California that suddenly transformed in to the frightening world of the antebellum South.

Dana, a young black writer, can’t explain how she is transported across time and space to a plantation in Maryland. But she does quickly understand why: to deal with the troubles of Rufus, a conflicted white slaveholder–and her progenitor.

Her survival, her very existence, depends on it.

This searing graphic-novel adaptation of Octavia E. Butler’s science fiction classic is a powerfully moving, unflinching look at the violent disturbing effects of slavery on the people it chained together, both black and white–and made kindred in the deepest sense of the word.

Kindred, the novel, is on my Next 20s list. I had meant to read it before I read the GN, but picked up the graphic novel based on a friend’s recommendation. The graphic novel is searingly painful, and I enjoyed reading it, but there are parts of it that feel slightly disjointed. I’m not sure if it’s because of the time travel, or if it’s an adaptation problem. It made me want to read the novel immediately, which is what I am reading right now. I don’t think that I’ll be able to properly synthesise my thoughts about this book until I’ve read the original.

    Mirror: The Mountain and The Nest by Emma Rios and Hwei Lim

A mysterious asteroid hosts a collection of strange creatures – man-animal hybrids, mythological creatures made flesh, guardian spirits, cursed shadows – and the humans who brought them to life. But this strange society exists in an uneasy truce, in the aftermath of uprisings seeking freedom and acceptance, that have only ended in tragedy. As the ambitious, the desperate and the hopeful inhabitants of the asteroid struggle to decide their shared fate, a force greater than either animal or human seems to be silently watching the conflict, waiting for either side to finally answer the question: what is worthy of being human?

Recommended to me by a new friend who’d heard I was into sci-fi and graphic novels, who absolutely hit the nail on the head with this rec. The art is beautiful, dreamy, and layered, and it keeps you tied to the story as the authors build what is a magnificent construction in your head. The authors do some really lovely things with timeskips that I have no idea how to talk about without spoiling anything, and I only regret that we weren’t able to linger through the second volume. I’m don’t know why there isn’t more of Mirror, but I do appreciate how they tied everything up as well as they could in two volumes. Looking forward to more like this in the future.

  Heartstopper: Volume Three by Alice Oseman

In this volume we’ll see the Heartstopper gang go on a school trip to Paris! Not only are Nick and Charlie navigating a new city, but also telling more people about their relationship AND learning more about the challenges each other are facing in private…

Meanwhile Tao and Elle will face their feelings for each other, Tara and Darcy share more about their relationship origin story, and the teachers supervising the trip seem… rather close…?

You can read all of Heartstopper and its future updates here. Heartstopper is a lovely slice of life comic, PG13 at best, that really takes me back to my own mid-teens. The story is centered around the developing relationship of two young boys, Charlie and Nick, and it really deals with it respectfully. It tackles a lot of teen issues without being too preachy about it, which is probably the least inspiring thing I could have written about it, and integrates it deftly into the story. The art style is adorable and really complements the sweet story. This volume, just released this month, revolves around a class trip to Paris, and there are some shenanigans that you’ll have to read for yourself.

  Sixty Six Book 2 by Russell Molina and Mikey Marchan

Kuwento ni Celestino Cabal. Kabebertdey niya lang. Mayroon siyang natanggap na regalo na ngayo’y unti-unti niyang binubuksan. Ika nga ng matatanda, “Huli man daw at magaling, maihahabol din.”

The story of Celestino Cabal. His birthday has just passed. He received a gift that he now gets to open, bit by bit. As the old saying goes, “Better late than never.”

This is the synopsis of the first book. There isn’t an official synopsis for the second book online, and I hesitate to write my own. Sixty Six Book 2 was released during February Komiket, and since I had been waiting for it for a few years, I had to go to the event even though everyone’s been iffy about going into crowded spaces due to COVID-19. I was excited to read this but unfortunately, I don’t think it capitalised on the foundation set in Book 1. The artist was different, and I admired their work on a technical level, as well as their humorous use of WASAK as a sound effect. I don’t know if there’ll be a third book, but the author has made themselves a little leeway for that possibility at the end of this volume.

  Thank You, Jeeves, Jeeves #5 by P.G. Wodehouse

The odds are stacked against Chuffy when he falls head over heels for American heiress Pauline Stoker. Who better to help him win her over but Jeeves, the perfect gentleman’s gentleman. But when Bertie, Pauline’s ex-fiance finds himself caught up in the fray, much to his consternation, even Jeeves struggles to get Chuffy his fairy-tale ending.

This book was in my next 20s! So I’m accomplishing one of my 2020 reading goals, yay! But hot damn there is some racist language in this book. Every time I was finally sinking into the story boom! Racist language! And I know that it was because of the time it was published, like I know that academically, but oof. That aside, the story is solid. It’s a comedy of manners AND errors with Jeeves ex machina, as per usual, but this is the first full Jeeves novel I’ve read, the rest were short story collections, and it was good to see the characters take more space. It certainly made the comedic payoff a lot stronger.

But oof.

  Die Vol. 2: Split the Party by Kieron Gillen, Stephanie Hans, and Clayton Cowles

No one can escape DIE until everyone agrees to go home. Or rather, no one can escape DIE until everyone who is alive agrees to go home. The second arc of the commercial and critical hit of bleakly romantic fantasy fiction starts to reveal the secrets of the world, and our heroes’ pasts. Yes, they can’t escape DIE. They also can’t escape themselves. Collects issues #6-10 of DIE

CHARACTERISATION. There’s a lot more breathing space in this newly-released volume of Die and I live for that! The first volume was a lot of the characters running from one place to the next and we, as readers, were being given the sense of setting. But volume two, you can feel Gillen just finally branching out and hitting us with their joined histories. I want to see more of how these older players will be dealing with the actions of their teenage selves, and I think the third volume will really show what the comic’s capable of. I’m really looking forward to that.

  False Value, Rivers of London #8 by Ben Aaronovitch

Peter Grant is facing fatherhood, and an uncertain future, with equal amounts of panic and enthusiasm. Rather than sit around, he takes a job with émigré Silicon Valley tech genius Terrence Skinner’s brand new London start up – the Serious Cybernetics Company.

Drawn into the orbit of Old Street’s famous ‘silicon roundabout’, Peter must learn how to blend in with people who are both civilians and geekier than he is. Compared to his last job, Peter thinks it should be a doddle. But magic is not finished with Mama Grant’s favourite son.

Because Terrence Skinner has a secret hidden in the bowels of the SCC. A technology that stretches back to Ada Lovelace and Charles Babbage, and forward to the future of artificial intelligence. A secret that is just as magical as it technological – and just as dangerous.

The last Rivers of London book finished the first major arc of the series. It was a succession of explosions contained in a novel. So I was wondering what kind of tone Aaronovitch would be setting with False Value. Would it be all action, immediately? A filler story? I just wanted more Peter Grant. It could literally be an entire novel of Peter going to America to visit the Smithsonian museums and I would be on that.

False Value is a slow story but does a lot of table setting for the next arc. While the case of the book feels very small and contained, you can see that they’re being pulled into the larger world of magic. I did have a hard time with the first few chapters, but I’m not sure if this is a problem of the book, or because I sailed straight into it after the Jeeves book I had been reading.

I finished the book too quickly and now I have to wait for the next one. Bother.

    The Thief, The Queen’s Thief #1 by Megan Whalen Turner

The king’s scholar, the magus, believes he knows the site of an ancient treasure. To attain it for his king, he needs a skillful thief, and he selects Gen from the king’s prison. The magus is interested only in the thief’s abilities.

What Gen is interested in is anyone’s guess. Their journey toward the treasure is both dangerous and difficult, lightened only imperceptibly by the tales they tell of the old gods and goddesses.

It’s March now, so my friends and I are starting on the second book in our read-along of The Queen’s Thief. I wrote last month that I was worried about how my friends would take the series, but really I needn’t have thought about it at all. The book stands well on its own, and my friends all got into the story. I hesitate to say that they loved it because there are four more books in the series, but they were definitely into it. Some of them had a hard time sticking to the two chapters a day schedule because Turner’s prose really just pulls you in.

I still love Gen, and I’m excited to relive his character growth.

  The Farthest Shore, The Earthsea Cycle #3

Darkness threatens to overtake Earthsea. As the world and its wizards are losing their magic, Ged — powerful Archmage, wizard, and dragonlord — embarks on a sailing journey with highborn young prince, Arren. They travel far beyond the realm of death to discover the cause of these evil disturbances and to restore magic to a land desperately thirsty for it.

I’m reading Tehanu, the last book of the Cycle, now, and I’m scared of ending the series. It’s given me so much joy and peace these past few months. I slipped right into it after finishing The Farthest Shore, remembering that they overlap slightly, and that’s done a lot to soften the blow of the third book. Re-reading Farthest at this age, when things have been losing their colour and flavour, where I have to fight harder to keep myself honest and keep myself ‘good’, hits differently. I’ve been recovering, and the bitterness that Ged has over the loss of his mastery is too real to me. Of course, it’s a good book, but it hurts.

—

All right, that’s it for now. I’ll probably be popping in to post a little about Komiket and some other things I’ve been reading next week or so, so please keep a weather eye out for that next post!

February Reading Round-Up I won't be the first or last person to marvel at how quickly February whizzed past, especially in comparison to January's gauntlet.

[dan-alexander-art]

Personas

Man it has been a long time since I posted anything. I wanted to apologize for that, things have been hectic. Especially with University but through all that I've been doing a lot of self discovery and realized I'm not one person, but actually six (plus a train of thoughts). Most people might think it's Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID or Multiple Personality Disorder) but that's not what I have. After talking to a therapist about this she's helped me see that they're just different parts of me. I knew it wasn't DID to begin with since I didn't have blank memories. It took awhile but after trying to listen to my different parts I figured out who they are and their own stories. Most have their own tastes of music and that has helped me a lot in figuring out on who they are, what they do and what they're like. So below I their bios as well as a short story of them and how they came to be. This is right to left.

Name: Love and Memories

Nickname: Rose

Likes: Listening to Maroon 5 and songs about love. Look back at happy memories. Giving Lillies or Bonsai Trees to friends.

Bio: Love has been around a long time, he's the second longest persona that existed. When he's around he doesn't care what to wear. When he's present he likes to go back and remember both the good and bad in my life. He has a deeper understanding between a good relationship and a bad relationship. The vines represent a current relationship I have, weather it's a friendship or family relations. When the vines are mostly thorns rather than flowers it means the relationship is toxic and should be fixed. If there are more flowers than thorns then the relationship is healthy. The point where the toxicity has gotten really bad is when the rose on his right eye begins to wither. Whenever we get friends he symbolically gives said friend either a lily or Bonsai tree since these require lots of care, love and patience just like a real friendship. Love isn't too hesitant about forming new bonds but only after a certain amount of time. He's not shy but most people would assume since he doesn't speak much, but in reality he just doesn't know how to communicate well and worries it might come out wrong, misunderstood or offensive.

Name: Beast

Nickname: ---

Likes: Feeding off my insecurities and taunting me

Bio: Beast is a dangerous persona that requires me to have full control of what goes on. Beast can control the other personas. For example Beast can make Love rewind traumatic memories and leave me feeling paralyzed. He is the embodiment of negativity and he enjoys seeing me suffer. If I'm not careful he can and will slowly crawl up behind me. Starting with small whispers of insecurities then building on until he's shouting taunts at me. Shouting all my fears, my worries and my worthlessness to the point of crying.

Name: Hurt

Nickname: Wolf

Likes: Listening to Linkin Park, Three Days Grace, Katy Perry and any type of strengthing music. Wearing rings and bracelets.

Bio: Hurt carries a lot of scars and wounds on him that represent emotional and mental scars and wounds I carry. He doesn't mind showing them off, he actually finds them empowering. To him it shows not only what he's been through but even through all that he's still here. Hurt isn't afraid aside from Beast. Beast is the only thing that scares him. Hurt also doesn't mind crying, it just means he's human like everyone else. When he's around he lets me cry when I need to but also reminds me that there's always a better tomorrow. That whatever is going on in my life doesn't mean the world is going to end and this experience is only going to make me stronger. Hurt's nickname comes from his ability to change into a wolf. The form represents the pride he has for being able to continue walking down this path dispite the curveballs life has thrown at us. Hurt is very wary of new people and doesn't open up on the spot. Though he's very kind and is willing to comfort people who are hurting. He always puts other people ahead of himself. The cracked eye shows that Hurt's soul is part broken, since the eyes are the windows to the soul. The cracked has a tendency to bleed every now and then and because of the cracked eye his perspective is warped. What caused the cracked eye is something Hurt doesn't want to talk about or explain.

Name: Ying & Yang

Nickname: Unity

Likes: Listening to NoCopyrightSounds (NCS) and other types of beat music. Wearing a black hoodie.

Bio: Yang has a deep understanding for human behavior and human emotions but doesn't understand his own. When he's around I just have a strong emotion of movement and color. Yang is very powerful, he can alter my reality. He helps me see different perspectives. Yang also has a different side called Ying. Yang is calm, collective and uses his ability to make my day brighter. Ying is a bit more unstable, he changes my reality in order to escape it. Ying doesn't always show up but when he does it's often from stress and a sense of lack of control. Unlike Yang, Ying doesn't see color. He only sees static black and white. This static helps calm my mind by focusing on less. Ying is also chaotic and makes me go through healthy mental breakdowns. Though Ying's mind is also disturbing compared to Yang's. Ying doesn't mind listening to twisted music and watching gorey movies.

Name: Smart Alec

Nickname: Yukio

Likes: Listening to lo-fi and reading music. Reading fiction books. Peace and quiet whenever possible.

Bio: Alec is the first persona to be around, he only focuses on school and is always planning ahead. He rarely makes me forget to do HW. Alec would often scare me into doing HW fast and early. Though it pays off. He loves reading especially the Wings of Fire series. The combination of music and reading helps keep him immersed into the world. He's often very technical and often likes to argue with science. He's all about the facts and research, he sees educating one's self is important especially with the type of world he's in this time around. He's hardworking and studying whenever it's necessary. He use to push me to my limits but is now more lenient and doesn't make me overdo it when it comes to studying. He's not really too comfortable in crowds and prefers to be with a small group or being alone. He doesn't mind a challenge, in fact he actually welcomes it. Alec doesn't see any reason for emotions and he lacks a lot of emotion himself. Although he doesn't see it as bad he does see it as a burden, especially if when I'm upset but there's a task to be done. Though he encourages me to do said task, like he always says: Once you hit rock bottom, the only way now is up.

Name: Creativity

Nickname: Twilight

Likes: Listening to Alan Walker, Zedd and any upbeat music, but mostly music in general. Drawing and painting, especially adding a new drawings to my bedroom walls. Playing videogames, mostly JRPGs. Wearing hoodies and comfortable clothes.

Bio: Creativity likes to turn Yang's vision of colors into meaning. He often translates those colors into drawings. The same goes when he listens to music. When he's around he always compeles me to draw even if it's late. He gives me a drive to continue drawing. He also looks out for my wellbeing by helping me balance between downtime and chores. Creativity is also the one who gave the other personas nicknames. He's mostly shy but that shyness doesn't stay around when he's playing competitively. He won't hesitate to pick up a controller when it comes to games such as Smash Bros. Playing games helps with the ongoing stresses in life but also helps spark new ideas. Creativity also likes to world building and create new characters for his world building. He's always positive and helps me through my hard times by drawing vent art. Creativity is a Walker fan himself, if you're curious he's Walker #37804.

Name: Lust

Nickname: Blaze

Likes: Listening to Ke$ha, Avril Lavigne, Green Day and any type of party music. Think about sex as a means to relieve anger, frustration or irritation. Wearing multiple necklaces and high tops.

Bio: Lust didn't always have free will especially early on. He was always fueled by rage, hate and anger. He often protected me by being cold and learning to fight back. He was present in my early years of starting Elementary school as a way to keep a distance from people who would try to hurt me. Though because of his lack of free will he would often make me feel angry and ready to clock anything even if it was just bothering me. The lack of freewill came from Beast. In fact Beast and Lust use to be one. With Beast fueling his anger with hurtful words. It wasn't until Ying and Yang helped them be their own person that Lust started to control his anger. Now he just likes to display himself as someone against authority when he believes something is wrong. And he uses that anger as a passion to participate in marches and protests. Though Lust hasn't completely shed influence from Beast. He possesses the ability to become a dragon. He can do this at will but not when he's angry. The angrier Lust gets the more dragon like he becomes. Only when he gets enraged does Lust become a full dragon. Lust is very protective, not just protective of me but also of my friends. He cares about other people and displays it as being protective. If anyone messes with my friends, Lust won't hesitate to get even. He's also very raw when it comes to intercourse and sees it as nothing more than human nature and not something to be ashamed about. Though he also holds consent to a high standard. If we're out he'll make sure me or someone there doesn't end up getting taken advantage of or be in a dangerous situation. Intercourse is very secrete to him and not something someone should have the ability to abuse.

[lupizora]

Curiosity

This was my piece for the @thebnhaspacezine! It was an honor to work together with so many amazing artists and writers to raise funds for The Trevor Project! I enjoyed the whole process greatly, and it was fun to indulge myself into writing about Mecha suits and space with no other than the kickass Kendou (she is one of my favorite BNHA girls in the series). ^w^

Also, a big thank you to my lovely beta readers, @kacchansass and @myloveistoblame for their tremendous help into polishing this story. 

This fic wouldn't have been the same without you~ ♥

Genre: Science Fiction/Adventure

Pairing: Gen

Rating: G

Word Count: 1996

Summary: Satellite Maintenance Leader Kendou Itsuka has faced several challenges during her duties in the past. When an accident occurs, Kendou's choice brings her a step closer to the answer they had been searching for all along.

“Ground Control to Major Tom. Do you copy?”

Kendou smiled as her T-5 mobile suit came to a halt in a series of tremors. The crew never stopped finding new ways to joke about her promotion for the past six months. It didn’t bother her though. Kendou considered it endearing that they indulged her when she was blasting classical music during work. It made the routine of the Satellite more bearable.

She flicked the intercom switch over her head. “Major Tom to Ground Control. How are you guys?”

“Same old, same old.” Fukidashi’s voice wavered through the speakers, the volume rising and lowering as if he was underwater. It was a common characteristic of his species as their heads were an ever-shifting liquid. “Anything new to report, Major?”

Kendou glanced to her right. Floating like a pearly white lance in front of Beta, the Satellite continued its orbit around the planet. Her mobile suit clung on the third crescent structure that circled around the main shaft. Its slow rotation always allowed Kendou to see Alnitak Aa in the distance. Despite several parsecs separating them, her home planet was not able to hide the blue supergiant star. It reminded Kendou of a permanent sun rising behind an invisible horizon.

“Nothing out of the ordinary,” she said. “Dunno if the others have anything else to report.”

“Aren’t they with you?” he asked.

“I’m on my way to them.” A cold feeling traveled along her spine, and Kendou restarted the suit. “What’s wrong?”

Fukidashi took a lot of awful seconds to reply. “We haven’t been able to reach them for fifteen minutes now.”

“And their marks?”

“They are all glitching except yours. I thought it was another interference honestly.”

She sighed. “No need to panic. Make sure backup is on standby and wait for my signal.”

“Roger!”

The T-5 gained speed, its legs thumping against the surface of the Satellite. Her heartbeat pounded as if Kendou was the one running, and her link with the suit wasn’t the only thing responsible. Even the slightest deviation from the routine amounted to a threat. That was the nature of working on nothing remotely Earth-based.

The construction site came into focus along with the bright red TALOS suits of her teammates. They were under attack. Bots swarmed over their every direction as if the surface had come to life. Whatever they did must have been serious to receive such a massive reaction. Kendou didn’t want to point fingers at the moment. She wanted them safe. With a powerful jump, she landed on a robot that threatened the T-6 of Kodai Yui.

“You okay?” Kendou asked.

Kodai gave her a thumbs-up with the suit.

Kendou pointed in the direction she came from. “Communication works that way. Tell them we need reinforcements.”

Kodai seemed hesitant but lead the T-6 away nonetheless.

Up ahead, the rest of the team took a stand against the onslaught. Kendou dashed to their aid, tearing a robot from the T-13’s back.

“Nice save!” Tetsutetsu shouted through the intercom.

They stood back to back, striking down any blue light that moved. The security robots were quick on their four legs. Graced with sharp teeth and claws, they were set on tearing the TALOS suits apart.

The last member with his T-1 was kneeling a few meters away. “Care to explain what’s going on?” Kendou asked him.

“Malfunctioning,” Awase said, panic coloring his words. “Give me two minutes.”

“That’s no simple malfunctioning. What did you do?”

“Nothing! I swear!”

“It all started after we cut that damn cable,” Tetsutetsu grumbled.

“You did what?!” she yelled.

“It snapped on its own! The thing was at least a hundred years old for fuck’s sake. Whoever thought the TALOS suited this job is beyond me. I mean, look at these!” Awase rattled his suit’s burly arms. “You’re putting them to better use now.”

Kendou punched a robot out of the T-1’s range. “Stop complaining like an old man and tell me the plan.”

“I say we punch the thing into oblivion,” Tetsutetsu said.

Awase cursed under his breath. “I’m trying to glue these things together and bypass the security protocol on this delicate equipment. And this is your two cents?”

Kendou didn’t disagree with his reasoning. They strived to maintain a balance with this ancient machinery in the hope that it’d reveal its secrets. Violent approaches were frowned upon for that reason. They had to do something though. Damaging one small part of the Satellite wouldn’t be too troublesome. After decades of human space exploration, the technology still needed a good whack from time to time. Tools don’t make craftsmen; it is how they use them.

“Tetsutetsu! We’ll go with your plan!”

The T-13 turned around mid-punch. A jumbled mess of vowels came through the intercom as its owner tried to object.

“You serious?!” Awase screamed instead. “What part of ‘This is delicate equipment’ you didn’t catch?”

“We are running out of time! I’m gonna do it,” she said. “Just get out of the way.”

“Are you sure, boss?”

In the past, Kendou would have never done anything this reckless. She would have analyzed every variable and form a cohesive plan. They were in space, the most dangerous frontier humans had ever crossed. One thoughtless action and her life would have been at stake. But she would do anything to protect her team. After going through a lot together, their bonds ran deep enough for her to consider them as family.

“Yes! Now take him out of here!”

Tetsutetsu grabbed the T-1 from behind. While Awase struggled to free the suit from his wrestling hold, the T-13’s thrusters led both suits into the darkness of the cosmos.

The moment they were out of reach, Kendou slammed her fist on the control panel. Cracks spread on the Satellite’s surface beneath her feet. She felt rather than heard the rumble it produced, waiting until it stopped to pull her hand back. The suit’s fingers opened with ease. Nothing seemed damaged. Whopping cheers resonated through the intercom as she looked up to reassure them. Then all hell broke loose.

The explosion was soundless, as everything in space should be. So the T-5’s speakers only received Kendou’s screams. The destroyed arms unraveled outside her broken windshield like puzzle pieces floating away to join the stars. Numb and in great pain, Kendou plummeted helplessly under the crescent. Beta’s sole star appeared before her. Together with Alnitak, they cast a crown of light over the planet. Blues and reds and yellows spread around her like spilled watercolors over a dark canvas. Despite her desperation, Kendou was still wishing to protect this breathtaking view with all of her heart.

As she continued her descent into the planet’s shadow, a slice of light remained flickering outside the suit. Slowly, it transformed into a figure much alike Kendou’s. The celestial woman’s fair skin gave off a golden glow, bright enough to conceal the details of her features. Her long midnight hair blended with the cosmos; constellations dancing among the strands.

The woman entered the cockpit as if nothing was there to stop her. With no further resistance, her hands cupped Kendou’s face. They were warm, anchoring Kendou against the crippling cold that wanted to consume her whole. Her breath fogged the glass of her helmet. Still, the celestial’s eyes remained visible like two pools of endless night and knowledge. Leaning close enough for their foreheads to touch, the brightness of the lady’s form consumed Kendou’s line of vision. Her consciousness followed as everything faded to black.

Voices called her name. Someone shook Kendou’s shoulders. Opening her eyes, a blue light greeted her from above. It bounced on Tetsutetsu’s rigid hairdo, giving it a metallic glint. Tears shined on the keratin spikes around his eyes.

“Are you all right?” he shouted.

A cane smacked him on the shoulder. “She will be, if you give her some room to breathe.”

Tetsutetsu stepped back to reveal Shuzenji Chiyo, the space station’s head doctor. Behind her Awase and Kodai observed the scene, visibly relaxing after a good look at Kendou.

They were in the station’s infirmary. Screens stood in place of windows, usually running diagnostics on the current patients—Kendou in this case.

“Boss…” Awase started, clenching his fists on his sides. “We… I’m sorry for what happened! I’m ready to receive my punishment!”

“Wait a minute, man! It was my idea. You should punish me!” Tetsutetsu said patting his chest.

Shuzenji smacked their shins with deadly accuracy. “What are you younglings saying? The woman just woke up. Leave this for a later date.”

Raising her arm, Kendou returned their attention to the bed. “It’s okay... Granny.” Her voice sounded as scratchy as it was on her throat. “It was.... my call to make.”

“But-”

“No buts. She needs rest so get out!” Shuzenji pushed all three through the door and sighed when the opening closed again. “How are you feeling, dear?”  

Kendou stared at her arm. Every part of her body felt sluggish but she could move without thinking. This shouldn’t be possible. In the back of her mind, she still remembered the agony of being trapped inside her own body.

“Thank the stars something disconnected you or the damage would have been significantly worse. Your nervous system is still in shock,” Shuzenji said as she checked Kendou’s vitals. “Security robots and mines? Millennia might separate our civilizations, but we think alike. Such a shame.”

“Granny. I saw one of the Ancients.”

The old lady looked up from the tablet but said nothing, prompting her to continue.

“I wasn’t disconnected. My hands didn’t budge. I couldn’t do anything about the controls. Then she appeared.” Kendou’s breath dropped as she replayed that moment. “Like a ghost in space.”

“People hallucinate many things during a situation like this. Our radars caught no other heat signature than yours.” Shuzenji clasped her shoulder. “This was probably only a vision.”

Kendou nodded reluctantly.

While listening to the rest of the doctor’s report, her luck became apparent. Other than the lack of limb-coordination, she had minimal injuries. Two weeks of rehab and she’d return to her duties without a problem.

The reality of going through it turned out less simple. Her feet refused to step one after the other. Her fingers wouldn’t hold onto anything. However, Kendou had faced similar problems when she first applied for the space program. Truths which had shaped her entire life didn’t apply on zero gravity. This gave her hope and before long, Kendou stood inside the hangar again.

“How does it feel being back?” Awase asked from her left.

Kendou finished securing her long auburn ponytail inside the helmet. “I didn’t expect much and you know what? I wasn’t disappointed.”

He snorted. “For one, I’m glad you’re back. These past few weeks were hell.”

“Monoma can’t be that bad of a commander.”

“Just a shitload overzealous. Not gonna lie. It was a nice change of pace but it’s different with you, boss.”

“Yeah, I’m more likely to save your butt.” She punched him playfully on the shoulder.

“Truer words have never been spoken!” Tetsutetsu said as he enveloped both into a tight hug. “Let’s go, Red Oni Team!”

“Please don’t call us odd names,” Kodai said as they boarded their suits.

Stepping outside, Kendou was pleased to find the same void and stars. The Satellite was in the same spot too; its presence reminding her of an old promise.

“I’m gonna find what you are...” Her nine-year-old self vowed, stargazing from their front porch.

Kendou knew she had only a slim chance of learning the Satellite’s true purpose in her lifetime. It’d be too much to ask for the universe to reveal the rest of its many secrets. But maybe everything was more connected than it seemed. So, if she continued down this path, would it be possible to meet her savior again?

Although the cosmos remained silent, some stars flickered a little stronger than before.

A/N: For those that have purchased the zine, you might have noticed the ending here is kinda different from what's in the zine. The truth is I overestimated my word count and ended up with two additional pages. It resulted in me changing the ending to be fair for the rest of my fellow colleagues. But I really liked my original ending so this is what you see here. You could say the zine ending is exclusive to those who bought it in a way XDD

[firebunnylover]

LoSH SU AU/Shards AU - Part 2 - Characters

Welp, this is officially the longer part of the AU explained post. Follow up to the first post here, this time going into the characters that are established so far.

Also. Don’t be surprised by who gets the biggest section.

The Crystal Legion (i apologize if i miss anyone you wanted to see on the list, its really hard to keep track of all of them, it's like herding kittens - but i'm trying to hit the main ones first, or at least the ones ive fleshed out so far - when i finish coming up with the others i'll make another post for characters).

To clarify on who the Leadership positions “belong” to in the main timeframe, it’s Superman, Kell, Lightning Lad, Cosmic Boy and Saturn Girl.

-

While the origin of Superman and Kell are still relatively to the original idea I posted (my idea of Pink back then has been obliterated...), where they were intended to be a single type gem made from an asteroid (preferably a Ruby duo for missions), but came out as a Ruby and Sapphire, and far too big. They came out just as Rose and Zhay started causing problems on Earth for the Homeworld colonizing efforts, so the Blue Diamond then had them go to earth to find the rebels with the offer that they will not be shattered due to being off-color.

Kal El, or as humans from the 20th century and onwards would call him, Clark, lacks pristine future vision desired from Sapphires. He usually gets fuzzy visions that can vary quite quickly depending on the different actions taken, rarely seeing anything clear happening in the future. He quickly fell in love with the Earth when he came across a human settlement and was taken in, where he was given the name Superman due to his unique abilities.

He almost forgot about his original mission, but was rudely reminded when he found Homeworld Gems trying to kidnap people to bring to the zoo. He quickly sided with the humans and fought off the other Gems, making him wanted by Homeworld. Rose caught wind about him, and went to see him. He was rather easy to persuade to join them, but served as the prompt to fight for other gems.

After the war, Kal spent more times with humans again, constantly helping whoever he can. Gained a fondness for children, and came to want one for himself. The problem being that when he learned of adoption, he came to think that he could take in children who don’t have any parents around in the immediate area. It got so bad that the other Gems finally built a fence when the human population got over 50 and a literal mob formed - the humans were scared away but enough was enough.

But you do not want to bring children any harm in his presence, for he will thrash you good. Signed up as a foster parent in the beach area, but due to a low population, never got to foster any kids. Was thrilled to help raise Cham as a baby… but was one of the few Gems that understood how to care for a human baby, and as a result got sleep deprived.

-

Kell El was, more or less, the unwilling tag along. Unlike Kal, he wasn’t as entranced with Earth or Humanity, sticking to his task of finding the Rebels, but as Rose was just about impossible to find for some reason (she figured out how to quickly get out of the last places she was spotted), he started making return trips where he had left Kal, the human settlement, as he was the only other gem for company.

When the Homeworld gems came to bring humans to the zoo, he found himself being flocked to by the humans as Kal was fighting off the invaders. Since he wasn’t witnessed by Homeworld soldiers, he wasn’t put on a wanted list. But quickly realized that even if he were to capture the rebels, that wouldn’t really be a guarantee on his safety, after stumbling into a Kindergarten and witnessing two new off-color gems being caught immediately, one being shattered and the other one being bubbled away. So he joined the rebels out of spite.

Post war, Kell was still not too crazy about Earth, but had developed a soft spot for the other gems he was still with, choosing to stay with them. His interactions with humans however got worse. They get angry, he gets angry, ugly fights. And then his worst habit came into development - stepping on others. Due to his larger-than-average-ruby size, he fails to notice anything below his torso unless it yells at him. This did not go well when Superman witnessed him stepping on several children. Kell found himself bubbled for an hour as a time out.

-

Rokk/Cosmic Boy was a standard Amethyst for guard duty, and had developed magnetic powers as a result of the soil of his kindergarten. However, he would join the rebels when he became fond of Imra and Garth, who he worked with. A few hundred years into the war, he found an Amethyst that had emerged late that came out from underneath where he did, thus was stunted in height. The small Amethyst imprinted on Rokk, prompting him to follow him back to the rebels, and was dubbed Pol. Soon, he and Pol became the closest gem duo, Pol constantly looking up to Rokk, and aspiring to live up to him. In an effort to impress Rokk though, Pol was shattered on the battlefield. This left a lasting mental scar, as Rokk was too afraid afterwards to even consider letting anyone he considers too young to join any fights or missions.

-

Garth, and Ayla, are both Orange Celestites with their gems cut, as Celestites are designated to having twin partners upon being made, and are typically meant to be higher than a quartz in term of rank. Was the one who convinced Rokk to follow after Imra when she left to join the rebels. Garth’s gem has one crack in it, which he got after Rose’s death, and he uses barite to fill it. Ayla is almost completely broken, thus she is kept in a bubble in the temple, as using a filling agent could cause more harm than good in her case. Lightning Lad… has a huge ego problem due to a combo of being both a rare cut and color of his gem type that are highly valued warriors in homeworld, and being seen as a hero on Earth.

-

Imra as a Rhodochrosite is a gem meant for controlling other gems and interrogation, with both psychic abilities and strength. But she preferred to talk things out with others rather than using force if possible, eventually finding herself fighting against the system and going to the Crystal Gems. Her discomfort on reading other minds without permission was the main reason why she never found out Rose’s true identity. Helped Garth and Rokk hold themselves together due to the states of the gems they were closest to. While not as into humans as Superman, she’s inclined to help them out, as she is more empathetic due to her powers, although she does draw a line with the whole adoption/abduction thing.

-

Querl was a Tourmaline made during the war, along with several other gems as Rough Diamonds, thus given the second name Brainiac 5 as he is among the 5th Gem to be inserted with a shard of the original Green Diamond, as new and artificial Diamonds were formed by Alchemy rather than the traditional method of gem creations. Rough Diamonds are engineered to be unable to discuss anything related to diamonds unless they get some kind of wave of the order not to say anything, so while Pink/Rose was suspicious of who he was, there was no way to get a clear answer.

Was quite literally dragged over to the Crystal Gems when Zhay and Kell captured him from Yellow Diamond’s court as a hostage. Despite that, he was rather indifferent towards the war on both sides, UNTIL he met Sapphire Superman, who he fell head over heels. Afterwards, he warmed up to the Crystal Gems and their purpose and sided fully with them, and grew fascinated with organic life, humans and their ability to change as a culture and evolve. Will not hesitate to dissect them though.

Brainy is responsible for inspecting everyone’s gems to make sure they are in good condition, and was the one who initially discovered that Kal and Kell both had shards in their gems. He insists on doing an inspection every earth year. Which everyone dreads. It’s like dental appointments for gems.

For the most part, life on Earth is good... at least... until his gem got a crack. That caused him... personality problems.

-

Tinya is an Obsidian from White Diamond’s court. She was previously under the care of a very kind Agate who did her best to treat gems equally under her and encouraged and/or pushed better treatment for gems designated to the lower classes, but frustration with the system and the inability to change it left Tinya cynical about Homeworld’s order and structure, fleeing to earth to assist the rebellion, hoping the new order will flip everything over. Still carries a lot of pride with herself, and is the troublemaker of the group as she now has no more high-court duties to worry about. Had only met White Diamond once, and she refuses to discuss what exactly happened.

-

Timber Wolf is a Jasper made on earth, not for fighting, but to experiment on. Was left with Mar Londo, a grey Agate put in charge of a new science program under Yellow Diamond to help further the war efforts. He was put under limited corruption on the physical level before being moved onto the mental stage, but escaped before the mental stage was finished. Upon being found by  the Crystal Gems, Rose healed him enough to help him regain control mentally, but remained physically corrupted. Had a lot of respect for Zhay as they were both Jaspers, and was the only other gem who understood what she went through when she was partially corrupted. 

Was and still is constantly mistaken for a werewolf by humans, and has come to have a love-hate relationship with the fall holiday… Halloween. On one hand, he can walk around without too many eyes on him. On the other hand, there are the humans that try to remove what they think is a costume, those odd movies with werewolves (some he can tolerate, others he burns whatever copies he comes across), and the candy eaters.

-

Bouncing Boy, a Dumotierite Quartz, was one of the gems that emerged after the war. He was very quick to adapt to life on earth and human culture, never knowing the stress of Homeworld expectations, and took the human name Chuck. The softest gem to ever exist, what Rose aspired to be but couldn’t fully capture - a caring person to those in need, and better at connecting to others in full honesty. 

Prefers to shapeshift into a ball rather than summon a weapon for fighting. Is one of about half the gems that can tolerate eating, and likes it. Had more familiarity with raising human children, but his supplies of horror films he stashes has led to Cham watching films at a very young age that did give him nightmares.

-

Triplicate Girl came out of the ground long after the war… but it was before she was ever expected to. One of the earliest prototypes of the cluster, rather than being composed of shattered gems, her gems were deliberately designed to resemble a phantom quartz: Amethyst and Citrine together, encased in White Quartz. Due to the appearance, it was assumed she was a byproduct of the rushed gem production on Earth during the war. Came out looking more like the cluster prototypes, but due to the fact she’s not composed of shattered gems, was able to reshape herself to resemble a more human shape eventually. Was found by Bouncing Boy, and they bonded quickly.

As for the ability to split into three - she can split her light formation into three separate entities with distinct personalities, as a result of her gem being three different quartz types. However, the personality that has their gem depends on which one splits away first - whoever separates from the body first gets the gem, so they all get equal grabs on it. However, her ability to split up is limited by distance and time. A few days to a few week of her being separate is usually okay, but after a while, has to get back together otherwise they risk getting poofed due to the strain.

-

Shrinking Violet was a tourmaline that came out after Triplicate Girl. Her extended stay in the ground didn’t stunt her growth, but it did cause her shape shifting problems, as she can only shrink down from her original size. Curious on homeworld gems, she began pestering Brainy, as they are the same type of gem despite the different shapes - his is finely cut while hers is polished. While initially annoyed, Brainy found himself enjoying her company, as there finally was someone able to keep up with his scientific ramblings. Enjoys experimenting with mechanics and botany. Was captured by human children once as she was mistaken for a fairy. She eventually got out though. Can and will curse like a sailor.

-

Nemesis Kid/Hart is the youngest of the gems to come from the Earth, only coming out 500 years prior to the main events. As a Gaspeite, he was designed to act as an high-ranking enforcer for Homeworld with the ability to neutralize the ability of other gems. But that clearly isn't happening on Earth. As there is an age gap between him and the last few gems that came out before him by almost 700 years, he wandered around the Kindergarten before being found my Cosmic Boy and was taken to the others. Like Pol, he came to look up to Cosmic Boy as an idol, but due to Rokk’s strict rules on no young gems coming on missions, he has only been allowed during the last 50 years to come along.

-

Chameleon Boy, aka Reep, learned shapeshifting faster than any of the other gems, much to others confusion, who would all take a while to figure out how to adjust their forms. As a baby, everyone was constantly on alert when he was unable to be found, worried he might have shapeshifted into a small animal. During which Kell was forbidden to be anywhere NEAR the house by 300 feet, as he had stepped on Cham before - in his regular baby form.

As he got older, Cham quickly picked up on the odd glances made by everyone when anyone remotely mentioned Rose and Zhay, and learned quickly about the relationship between the two that the Legion knew, the shattering of Pink Diamond, and how his mom fell into a depression afterwards.

He has started a habit of sneaking out of the house to follow other gems during missions due to the sheer boredom, as well as influence from Tinya. Although Superman has been trying to convince the others to give him a trial mission.

Sometimes he will shapeshift to look like a regular human, but he can’t maintain it for long, compared to all of his other forms. He’s not really sure why.

-

Liggt, while looking like a fully corrupted gem - his appearance slightly similar to a sea slug, is aware of who he is and of his surroundings. However, Cham is the only one able to communicate with him, and Liggt tends to take long periods of sleep. Has a rather cheeky attitude towards humans, prides himself on being the son of Zhay. Is very soft, as he doesn't seem to have any bones, doesn’t get injured easily, and lacks a full nervous system, so Kell could step on him and the little guy wouldn’t notice much. Until the other gems are chasing after Kell.

-

Val Armorr is 100% human. He was on the run from the foster system before being adopted by the gems, and Cham began dragging him along when following after the other gems. Superman quickly noticed Val was very good at fighting, so he began teaching him how to spar efficiently. He is still adjusting to the gems and their lack of understanding of humans stuff.

As for life before the Crystal Legion… it had a bad start. His father was abusive towards him and his mom, and his mom began taking it out on him. When child services came when he was 6, his maternal grandparents didn't want anything to do with him. He got taken in by an elderly man named Toshiaki for a few years, who taught him how to fight, but he passed away when Val was 10. Since then he had been in and out of different foster homes before deciding to try making it by himself. 

There’s been few people he’s willingly kept in touch from this period of time, one of them another foster kid who decided to also make it on his own - Billy Batson.

As for how he got stuck with the Legion, that’s for later discussions.

Gems and Humans that aren’t immediate members of the Legion - initially at least:

Lois Lane was a reporter during the Roaring 20’s, and literally broke into the temple at the beach to get evidence of the “Odd Jewelry Fellows” residing in what people considered an old cave. Superman found her, helped her get out as the rest of the gems were not in the best of moods and had a less than gentle method of removing things not meant for the temple, and was quickly smitten by her. After a while, he asked her out and they began to date, as well as go on investigations together. It didn’t last, but they remained good friends, all the way up to the current time period. 

Also due to her explaining how humans can adopt children that aren’t genetically theirs, its her fault that the other gems eventually had to put up a fence because of Superman (HE CAME OVER TO HER PLACE AND CRIED FOR THREE DAYS STRAIGHT). Is over 100 currently, and it may or may not be related to her time with the gems.

-

RJ Brande is a successful businessman from Texas who enjoys travel a lot, and loved Zhay. He had problems back home due to his more liberal views on things compared to his traditional/conservative Southern family. So that was something he and Zhay could immediately relate to. Encouraged Zhay to try to reconnect to the remaining gems - and it went better than expected. 

Hasn’t contacted his immediate family in years - he doesn’t want them targeting his twin boys due to their unhuman appearance, and their gem peers. Despite having to be out of town most of time, he makes an effort to drop by as often as possible, and to Video Call Cham as often as possible. Quickly welcomed Val to the family, and doesn’t press for details on his past.

-

Bruce Wayne - much like in the DC comics, a rich business owner with an alter-ego named Batman who fights crime. Does do the vigilante justice stuff in the Empire City of the AU, tracks down the Gems when he’s dealing with a bunch of criminals using shattered remains for bad crime stuff. Has already adopted kids - the batkids are equivalent to the Cool Kids (haven’t decided if he has all the batkids yet or if he still has to adopt a few more - Dick Greyson is definitely there tho). Has been hitting on Clark, and acting like a Sugar Daddy at times. Everyone in the Crystal Legion is semi-dreading the two actually being together because that would be two people with the vice of trying to adopt every single child ever.

-

Mekt is an off-color blue celestite. He didn’t have a twin when he came out of the ground, but as the war was going on at this point, no resources were to be wasted. So rather than being shattered, he was assigned to be an imitation Pearl - equivalent to a real Pearl with status and decorated and given makeup to look like one as much as possible, but more widely available and usually given to newer-high status gems before they get new Pearls. He got handed around for several years before his final owner, a Golden Beryl. His last owner was nice, and they did have a relationship, but there were on uneven levels of power for their relationship to really work in a healthy manner. Mekt eventually left with Ayla to join the Crystal Gems upon her persuasion. But like Garth and Ayla, his gem got cracked, although his were thin and across his whole surface, compared to Garth.

Post war, he left the Crystal Legion, and ambled across different cultures with humans, although whenever he needed to get more filling to replace what he lost, he would need to find Brainy to help, which was usually about half a century. Unlike the Legion, he did get into more sinister activities during his time after the war. During the 20’s, his more notable activity then was working with a mafia - as both a callboy and for dirty business involving alcohol as prohibition became a thing.

Later on, Brainy dragged him to the Temple to get his cracks filled, just a few months after Reep and Liggt were born. He had some experience with helping with babies before, and was appalled by the majority of other gems because they didn’t know squat about how to properly care for babies. As Superman was in desperate need of sleep (despite denial) and the other gems had missions to go on, Mekt was put in the babysitter position. Due to the soft spots he had for children, Mekt got a job to get stuff for them when RJ wasn’t necessarily available and the other gems said no. He will not tell the kids what TYPE of job. Not illegal. Just adult stuff.

As for serious relationships… he is attracted to Kell. Kell, being the oblivious one, can’t figure out when Mekt is flirting with him, at all, for the last 5000 years.

In regards to him being a Celestite vs his position in homeworld culture as an imitation Pearl, he sincerely wishes he was created as a Pearl, similar to people being trans. So he experiences some body dysphoria in regards to his gem not being a Pearl. He hasn’t told anyone about it outloud though. Well, no one in the Legion currently.

-

The late arrivals from Space - that would be Ron Karr, a Peridot. Like Peri in the show, he is in charge of checking the status of the cluster. He eventually comes to Earth with backup after he complains about the gems on Earth interrupting his mission, getting stuck on what he considered... filthy dirt ball at the time.

He’s one of the few Gen 2 Peridots that can still shapeshift, which he’s as good at as Cham, although he’s still stunted in height. As for his relationship with Mekt, as they were teammates in the LSV in the cartoon show, Ron-Karr quickly writes him off as some cheap faux-pearl and even offers to be his new owner, which served as a catalyst for the two to have a fight. But afterwards, they smoothed things out, and form a pretty calm friendship. So calm they end of being roommates at the barn.

Has called a Diamond a clod. Notably the Diamond who replaced Pink shortly after the war.

[donothold-ontoyoursanity]

When The Rain Comes

pairing- Ulsa x Papa

word count- 1866

genre- (tiny) fluff, angst

summary- second chances are what he wants, but he hates them. He’s made mistakes during his teens, made up for them in the early adult life and screwed up again. He’s confessed too late, or too early, but he manages to find the right time to propose. He’s an average guy, but she doesn’t settle for average. Perhaps it was the mistakes that he wishes to reverse.

The sun peeked out behind the rain.

It was when I first met you. We were 7 then, young children without a care in the world. We often met up at the park, starting off as shy strangers but then forced by our mothers to talk to each other. Our friendship then blossomed, secret glances at each other during school were prominent. Inside jokes emerged. Playdates became more often. Our parents started to get concerned about the amount of time we were spending with each other, but we didn’t care. We were 7.

Fast forward a few years later. We’re now 12, and because we’re friends of the opposite gender we’ve drifted apart, and everytime we look at each other we are reminded of our past friendship. Despite all the fun we’ve had as kids, I start a rumour about you. Something about how you drank alcohol at home. The rumour spread, turning your own friends against you, leaving you with no one to trust. I don’t know why I did it. Perhaps I was jealous of you- many of the boys circled around you, begging for a piece of attention.

It’s when you turn 13 when you find out I started that rumour. You had moved to a different school, but you were still living in the same town. Coincidentally, we saw each other at the park we first met, and you came to me without hesitation. You glared at me, exasperated. “Why the hell did you start that rumour?” you said to me, growling. I panicked, trying to look confused as if i forgot about that rumour. “What rumour?” I replied, nervous. “You know which rumour it was. Don’t lie to me.” I roll my eyes, throwing up my hands in defeat. “I don’t know why. Now get away from me, Ulsa.” You scoffed, smirking. “Bullshit.” You turned around exiting the park without a second glance at me. I too turn to leave, but before I can do so, I notice that you’ve left something behind.

It’s our friendship bracelet from years ago.

We don’t interact again before university-during high school I have a few affairs, none of them serious enough, all while seeing none of you. Yet i kept hearing stories about you from my friends, saying how you had won a local science competition. Many years after and you were still the charmer, and I hated it. I hated it with a burning passion. I would retch at the mention of your name while all of the other boys followed you.

We were 16 when you had your first serious relationship. It was with a guy named Rory. Rory was handsome-practically the male version of you. It was obvious that you two would get together- the royal couple as many people would say, yearning for a relationship like yours. And for the following year, I knew of all your dates with Rory, no matter how hard I tried. I wanted to ignore you, yet i kept going back to your icetagram and checking your story every day you had a date. It hurt me whenever you posted a picture with Rory, but I kept liking every picture you posted of him. I was 17 when I realised that I was in love with you. You were still with Rory, arm in arm, and glaring at any girl who had intentions with Rory. You loved him, and he loved you. In order to forget about my lovesickness about you, I hooked up with a girl. You may know her- Placida, your best friend. I purposely went to your table and flirted with your best friend in front of you, and I enjoyed the glares you sent me. I had to pretend I could be fine without being with you, and I flaunted my “strength” in front of you. I remember the conversation we had while you were third wheeling with me and Placida. “What is up with you?” “Me?” I asked, innocent. I cocked my head to the side as my phone buzzed. The conversation we had was put on hold. I checked my phone, and the rain started.

It was when we were in university when we started to tolerate each other again. From project partners to inseparable friends. It felt just like as if as we were 7 again, without a care in the world. But we did care about many things- often, I came to your dorm to deliver some coffee to you because you were pulling an all-nighter. Sometimes you came to my dorm with bags of fried chicken, relieving me of my stress. The playdates we used to have were replaced with playing Mario Kart together, our old inside jokes replaced with new ones. It felt like being rebirthed, especially when I was with you.

There was a thunderstorm when I accidentally told you I loved you. I was at your dorm, sitting around after a round of Mario Kart when i said into the comfortable silence, “You know, I really love you.” You look at me, shocked. “What?” you replied. “As a friend, obviously,” I say back, panicked. “I don’t think I would have felt this liberated without you.” You laughed, probably relieved that I just managed to cover up my accidental confession. “You were such a jerk during high school though,” you laugh.

I laugh at my childishness. “I know.”

We continued to share notable events in our lives, even though we couldn’t see each other too often. You got a job at a law firm, and I got a job as a doctor. You had a niece- I didn’t have any. We were at the climax of our lives.

Both of us were not prepared for when you called me, crying, your words incomprehensible. It prompted me to go to your house at once. Once I got there, you fell into my arms, tears staining my shirt, not that I cared. “Rory broke up with me,” you said through tears. I did my best to console you, feeling the arms to grief tugging at my heart. Over time you got over him, thankfully, because that meant I finally had the chance to be with you.

I never planned the breakup from the very start, but I was immensely grateful that it happened because I would have never had a chance. We spent more time with each other, the rainy days filled with sunny days and the days of grief and tears were no more.

A year after Rory broke up with you, I confessed to you again. And unlike last time, it was not an accident and I had no intention of covering it up if it went wrong. I was ready to let go of this friendship, because I wouldn’t have been able to handle a second rejection.

How lucky was I that you accepted.

As soon as you said you accepted my confession, I did the most romantic thing I could think of and kissed you. You were definitely surprised at it, but you didn’t pull away.

And so 5 months of dating went by.

I had loved you my entire life, so I had a plan. To propose to you.

Many would argue that 5 months is far too little time of dating before proposing, but those 5 months felt like 10 years with you, because time never stopped when I was with you.

It was all ready- the reservation, the ring, everything. And when I popped the question, you wouldn’t stop screaming and of course you accepted, making me the happiest person on earth.

2 years after we got married, we had Johnny. After the birth, you looked up at me with tired eyes and said, “did i do it?” I laughed and stroked your cheek. “Yes.Yes you did. I’m so proud.”

Johnny’s childhood went by fast, and our love went strong.

It was strong until that day. The day when I found you in our bedroom, crying. I asked you what happened, and I tried to hug you, but you shied away from me. “Why?” you asked.

“Why what?” I reply, unsure.

“Why did you touch the ice?”

Of course. It was snowing on the day. I dropped the bucket of ice and picked up some to put back into the bucket, but I wasn’t sure why you would get angry at me.

But how could I forget? When we were 8, we were running while it was raining. And then the hail started coming down, and I ran to shelter. But you? You kept playing in the hail, until you dropped down. You were taken to the hospital, and from that day on you hated ice.

So what could I say? You were always the one for dramatics.

“It was an accident, Ulsa, I’m sorry.”

You turn to me, angry. “I don’t know why I married you.”

Those words hit me right in the chest.

And so, we fought, we fought like crazy and we couldn’t stop, eager to dispute each other. Anyone who knew about the fight weren’t surprised that we got divorced.

But me? I was angry that you had ended our marriage over ice. It was a small thing, and yet you chose to push me out of your life because of that one thing. I hated it. I hated everything.

We split paths naturally. I don’t know what you’ve been doing for the last 3 years, but I see that you’ve gotten over me. I still haven’t.

You’re getting married again tomorrow, to a man named Donald. I can’t help but feel jealous, like I did in the teens, because I want to have you. I wanted you to always be mine, and I never wanted to let you go. I feel so angry that I’m making Johnny go by himself and to give this letter to you, because I can’t bring myself to look at you being happy with someone else.

I was never supposed to be with you. I hated being rejected for the second time, and look where I am now. I was forever destined to be rejected by you since the day I told that rumour about you. If I didn’t tell that rumour about you, could I have confessed earlier and became in a relationship with you rather than Rory? Could I have gone back in time and told myself to be more careful with the ice bucket? Or could have I gone back in time and told you to get under cover when it started hailing? Where did I mess up? What was so despicable about me that I couldn’t keep you by my side?

Nevertheless, I do wish you the best with your new husband, because above all the negative emotions, I wish for your happiness. If he makes you happy, then I am satisfied. I only exist for your happiness, and nothing else.

Hopefully it doesn’t rain on your wedding day, like it did on ours- it rained so many times when i was with you, it must be a bad omen.

Have a lovely marriage, filled with everything you could have ever wanted.

Yours,

Papa.

a/n; i wrote this in like....two days because i suddenly got the inspiration for it. Anyways please reblog because we need validation Proofread by Admin S Written by Admin J

[dailycharacteroption]

Conversion Corner: Startopia Races for Starfinder part 1

Dahanese Sirens and Grekka Targ

 This week, I’m doing something a little different, by putting my game design chops to work and challenging myself to convert content from other media into Pathfinder or Starfinder.

Right now I’ll just be doing conversions, but perhaps someday you might see entirely original content here on my blog!

This time, I’m going to delve into my childhood with a game called Startopia that came out in 2001. It was a space station management game, and had a lighthearted, somewhat humorous tone as you refurbished the station, built facilities, hired employees, try to keep everyone happy, and deal with various threats.

Throughout the week I’m going to be focusing on the various main starfaring races that populate the space stations, and converting them for use in starfinder. Note that due to the lighthearted nature of the source material, their converted forms may not match up exactly with the originals, particularly as I find ways to make each of these races unique. Having a race be a one-note race of space hippies is fine and dandy for a comedy, but for a game with a wider mix of tones, a more serious approach is necessary.

 In any case, let’s start with the Dahanese Sirens!

The Dahanese Sirens, or just Sirens or Dahan for short, are an elegant race of humanoids with sculpted figures that initially seem to resemble humans. However, their snow-white feathered wings and ethereal-sounding voices and language, give them away as something inhuman.

Why yes, the sirens are a parody of every “sexy space women with alien bits glued on”, how could you tell?

That being said, the dahanese sirens are actually the only species in the game with both male and female models, and in their specific jobs on the station, when pairing off with other sirens, they will do so regardless of the gender of each participant, which is significant because sirens work in the “love nest”, a building where aliens come to relieve their aching hearts by having the sirens beam pink telepathic “love” directly into their brains. So basically they fill your space NOT!brothel and provide PG-13 lovings to your residents and visitors. Kinda a mixed bag there, huh?

So with sirens being a mixture of progressive and problematic, how do we bring them forward into Starfinder and the modern-thinking tabletop gaming environment? Well, I’ll give it a go.

 Hailing from a humid, warm world with abundant resources and low gravity, the sirens rose to mastery of their world not only due to their ability to fly away from the mighty beasts that thrived on such a verdant world, but also due to their natural psychic power, able to transmit a rush of euphoria into the mind of other creatures, either in a slow trickle, or as a sudden, overwhelming rush that can stun would-be combatants. As such, sirens rarely see a need for physical violence, but against threats that are resistant or immune to diplomacy or their mental talents, they are fully capable of fighting back.

Siren society is matriarchal, and focused on the pursuit of new experiences. While this does indeed lend credence to the popular notion of siren sexuality and gender being very open, it also applies to science, art, and beyond. Traditions are adopted and abandoned as quickly as their practical applications and ability to hold a clan’s interest allow. However, nothing remains more central to siren society than the bonds they form with their family, be it a clan on their homeworld, a lover, or a ragtag bunch of space explorers.

Among other races from the startopia game, the siren’s desire for experiences often makes them strong friends of the kamarama, while they chafe in the company of the aggressive Kasvagorians and the stuffy zendem. As for Starfinder core races, they find vesk and kasatha to be entirely too focused on duty and honor for their liking, but enjoy the company of humans, ysoki, lashunta, and even the shirren. They also hold a soft spot for feyborn gnomes and halflings, the irrepressible curiosity of the former and the boldness of the latter making them fast friends.

 Ability Adjustments: +2 Dex, +2 Cha, -2 Con

Hit Points: 4

Racial Traits:

Size and Type: Dahanese Sirens are medium humanoids of the siren type

Low-Gravity Flight: The wings of a Dahanese Siren are powerful enough to carry them on their homeworld, and areas of similar gravitation at a speed of 50 ft with average maneuverability. On normal gravity worlds, they can only fly 20 ft with clumsy maneuverability, and cannot fly at all on high gravity worlds.

Telepathic Euphoria: A Dahanese Siren can telepathically stimulate the pleasure centers of a target’s brain. This can be done at will at safe levels casually, but can be used 3/day as the spell daze. At 5th level, this ability improves to function as daze monster, and the HD limit imposed by the spell goes up by 1 for every character level past 5th. The DC of this ability is Cha based.

  Secondly, we have the Grekka Targ, or the Targ for short.

The Targ are a race of stocky, short insectile beings with chitinous hidesn fluttering diaphanous wings, compound eyes, and small, multi-part mouths.

In Startopia, the targ are your primary communications officers, working the comsensor arrays to pick up on local and far-reaching communication details, their natural hive structure making them sensitive to and able to process a multitude of informational cues at once. Additionally, they are one of the four combat-equipped races in the game, and the second strongest, making it well worth your while to hire more than you need if playing on a station where combat is frequent.

They should be exceedingly simple to rework for Starfinder, so here goes nothing.

 Though initially assumed to be some offshoot of the swarm like the Shirren, the Thyorian Grekka Targ are actually a completely unrelated insectile race of bipeds originally from a cold, dry world. Ancient tales speak of their planet being a much warmer, vibrant place before a stellar impact forced the planet into a much wider orbit, with life retreating underground to the warmer subterranean environments.

Contrary to initial assumptions, the targ are not emotionless, but rather their complex communication via body language, subaural chittering, and pheromones, makes them impossible to read their emotional state accurately without the use of much more advanced translation technology than the average citizen normally buys. These methods of communication also explain the “hive mind” myth surrounding them, as they rapidly process the cues of every other targ in range. That constant flow of communication makes them hesitant to open up to other races, however, being reminded of the fierce predators of their homeworld by the relatively simple methods communication they use. As such, without even thinking about it, they often resort of observation behaviors when dealing with other races, eavesdropping on conversation, or in extreme cases, actively spying on others. This unfortunately gives them a reputation as snoops and gossips.

Targ society is largely decentralized, having no analogy with social insects neither socially nor even reproductively, and have little concept of gender. Theirs is a society of communal mutual survival, and when a task needs doing, the individuals with the correct skills are quickly contacted and the task gets done quickly and efficiently. Their delight in communication and understanding also gives them a fascination with technology, as each new device they acquire or develop has its own sort of language and means of communicating that most targ are more than happy to learn.

Targ get along decently with most other races, but many are unnerved by their seeming lack of emotion. They deeply respect dwarven work ethic and crafts.

 Ability Adjustments: +2 Con, +2 Int, -2 Cha

Hit Points: 4

Racial Traits:

Size and Type: Grekka Targ are small humanoids of the targ type

Chitin: Targ gain a +1 racial bonus to AC thanks to their tough shells.

Fluttering Haste: Their wings incapable of flight, the targ have mastered using them as part of a bounding gait when moving, increasing their base speed to 40, and giving them a +2 to Acrobatics.

Stimuli Sponge: With the amount of information that targ normally absorb, they halve the penalties on skill checks made in distracting environments, minimum 0

 And that’s the first pair! Tomorrow we’ll continue with another two!

[felixeslee]

92 q tag

hello this tag is highkey irrelevant now but it’s been in my drafts for ages so !! laskdgjasodigjsaldkgasodigjasdg which is why i wont b tagging anyone bc im so late but !! yeah !! ok !! !!!!!!!!!1111!!! lets !! go !!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

tagged by @hyuunjins @hyunjinh @straykiz and @dae-hwee from my w1 blog (lmaoo hi pindi this is sarah!! AIddgsdfk if youre aware of this blog but hope its ok if i do it here alskdg ) 

rules: once you’ve been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 92 truths about you. At the end choose 25 people to be tagged. 

🌙 LAST

Drink: the water that I drank this morning!! Aka around 12 hrs ago asdgasdgoij pls stay hydrated kids 

Text Message: i texted my brother if he knew where my dad was lol,,,,,,, sldkjgaosidgj 

Phone Call: CALLED MY BROTHER BC HE WASNT RESPONDING MY TEXTS,,,,, he also didn’t pick up ldskgjsoidgjsldkgsjdg

Song you listened to: Goodbye My Love by Aileeeee <3 lovv 

Time you cried: TODAY ,,,, i was getting super anxious bc i didn’t know where my dad was ??? he was supposed to pick me up but he forgot abt me until like an hr later… sldkgjaosidgj 

🌙 HAVE YOU EVER

Dated someone twice: no :00 lmao i’ve never dated… ever alskdjgaoijsdf 

Kissed someone and regretted it: i havent had my first kiss yet HEH 

Lost someone special: unfortunately, yes :( 

Been depressed: sdgksjadoiglskdfosdijgalskdfaosdigjaksdgoaisdjf idk 

Been drunk and thrown up: lmao i’ve never drank ,,, at all,,,, the smell of alchohol scares me,,,,, evn my little brother has had a sip once and he’s 5 yrs younger LMAO ,,, but im a noob and don’t wanna try sldkgjosidjgs 

🌙 IN THE PAST YEAR HAVE YOU

Made a new friend: yay yes yeslgkdgsdf

Fallen out of love: i dont think i’ve ever evn been in love…. Sdlgksjdoigj 

Met someone who changed you: yes,,,,,,,,, 

Found out who your true friends are: uhhhh idk aslkdgjaosidjf i honestly can never tell when someone’s being a fake friend so!!!!!! Idk honestly lmao

Found out someone was talking about you: i did ! but it wasn’t for anything bad or anything……… they just criticized me behind my back?? But i agreed w their criticism so alsdkjgaosidgj  

🌙 GENERAL

How many people on tumblr do you know in real life?: ummm,,,, like 4?? We r mutuals evn though none of them r actually kpop blogs,,,, so i always feel guilty spamminig their aesthetic feed w my screaming tags and annoying shit LMAO but i lov them <3 

Do you have any pets?: NO :”( I WANT A DOGGO THO …. REALLY BAD…..

Do you want to change your name?: uhhh ik so many sarahs its not evn funny and my last name is hella basic too????? Theres 3 ppl that share my first+last name in my school alone….. So maybe i’d change it to my chinese name (yue) ?? also bc it sounds more sophisticated,, and i lov anything that makes me sound smarter than the reality of my dumb self LOL 

What time did you wake up this morning: LOL so my alarm rings at 6:40 but i get out of bed at 7:10 SLDGKJSODIF … and i need to get out of the house by 7:20 lsdkgsdoig 

What were you doing last night: physics and apush :SLDGJOSIDFJ the 2 most dreaded classes UGH

Something you cannot wait for: DINNER .. i love me some gud dinner

Have you ever talked to a person named tom?: thomas jefferson my mAN 

What’s getting on your nerves right now: when it’s so heckin cold i can’t concentrate + i hate taking notes when it’s cold??? Bc then my hands r like half numb and it HURTS WHEN I TAKE NOTES sldkgsoidjf ALSO WHEN I DRAW ,,,,, STIFF FINGERS R THE WORST WHEN DRAWING

Blood type: i think a????????????

Nickname: my most common ones r swisso + salad (i promise these make sense in context LOL ) 

Relationship status: return NullPointerException; //im a cs person,,, dont judge

Zodiac sign: capricorn!

Pronouns: she + her

Favorite show: i dont watch many shows but i love watching a gud studio ghibli movie when im feelin down

College: this QUESTION LSDKGJSODIGJ ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i wanna go to college but will any accept me ??!?!

Hair colour: its naturally black but it’s currently dyed ombre from black → brown !!!!!!

Do you have a crush on someone: i havent had a legit crush in 3 yrs lmao……. 

What do you like about yourself: the fact that im a deep sleeper. Idk how light sleepers function omg like wouldn’t u wake up to like,,,,, everything??! :((( that makes me sad bc u hav no idea how much i lov a nice long undisturbed slumber

   🌙 FIRSTS

First surgery: okAY so like i've had 2 procedures done on my eyes lmaooo like (1) when i was a smol beb of like 1 yr old i rolled off my bed aaaannnnddd the corner of my eye hit the edge of the sharp corner of the bedside table!!! and then y1ke$ things got ugly loll (((yes, i wuz dum + clumsy since the day i popped from the womb))) its all stitched up now and i hav a tinie tinie scar aslkdgs okay and (2) there was something weird abt my tearducts LOL so u know when u get sad nd stuff ur nose gets runny and u sniff a lot??? well like that wasn't the case for me bc the passage way from my eyes to my nose was completely blocked off,,,,, which resulted in me lookin like i was full blown cryin like every 2 seconds... like if i kept my eyes open for too long my eyes would get watery and tears would flow out LMAO ,,,, i looked like i just never stopped crying,,, but it was just my eyes were just ALWAYS WATERING sdlgjsdif damn u have no idea after the procedure i was like 'do ppl live like this??? not having to wipe tears every 0.2 sec??? oh my god,,, i am livin THE LIFE' 

First piercing: i hav no piercings!!! Bc stabbing holes thru myself scares me sdlkjgsoidg but i love the way earrings look tho so :///// 

First sport you joined: dance or gymnastics???? I dont rly remember

First vacation: CHINA prob???? 

First pair of sneakers: i think sketchers LMAO ,,, the big thing  

🌙 RIGHT NOW

Eating: nothing!!!!!

I’m about to: do som sketches for my AP art class 

Listening to: my dad sing som old chinese folk stuff behind me LOL 

Want kids: i already adopted all 9 members of stray kids tho ??? idk if im ready for more atm 

Get married: LOL This question just reminded me of smol story from my childhood: so like i used to b rly close w these 3 other kids,,,, one other girl and 2 guys,,, and our parents were all rly tight too,, and our four families would just go camping together and it was rly :’’D fun and so we all made a pact that I would marry one of the guys and the other girl would marry the other guy and we’d all go camping together forever but then KINDERGARTEN HIT,,,, we moved schools and yeah im still rly close w the girl but i miss the 4 of us dkgjsodigjsdlkgsdf LOL 

Career: waterbottle 🌙 

WHICH IS BETTER

Lips or eyes: eyes? Eh idk i just never rly considered lips ?? LOL 

Hugs or kisses: hugs? I dont hav experience w kisses so sldkgjsoidgjsd yike syikes yikes 

Shorter or taller: TALLER

Troublemaker or hesitant: uhhhhh neither??? Like i just want someone playful + extroverted bc im quite introverted,,,,,,,,,, so if he was hesitant we’d just b super awkward and quiet,,, and i don’t like getting involved w sketchy troublemaker shit either LOL ,,, 

Older or younger: as long as they r in the same school grade level,,,, and i guess 1-2 yrs older is okaY? But lowkey freaks me out if too old 

Romantic or spontaneous: sldkgjsoidfj both? Like i lov someone who is unpredictable and spontaneous,,,, but on the other hand im lowkey a helpless romantic lasdkgjaoisdjf 

Sensitive or loud: both i guess too??? Its good to have someone understanding and sensitive but also someone who knows how to have fun  :) 

Hookup or relationship: hookups,,,,,,,, just dont make sense to me,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, like i get attached to someone p easily so even if i dont plan on being attached,,,, i’d probably get attached :(  

🌙 HAVE YOU EVER

Kissed a stranger: YIKES no 

Drank hard liquor: nO 

 Lost contacts/glasses: UH I HATE THIS BUT YES….. 

Sex on first date: yikes * (6.02 *10^23) adkgaosidjgaslkdf no thaNK you 

Broken someone’s heart: i dont know,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, like i might’ve but maybe im just not aware ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but on a sidenote i think my old comupter science teacher gets a migrain everytime he sees me LOLLLLLL sdlgjsoidgjsldf 

Been arrested: no,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, :0 

Turned someone down: yeah lmao i kinda feel bad tho bc they were all good ppl,,,,  lskjgosidjf but thankfully im still good friends and pretty tight w all of them ~  

🌙 DO YOU BELIEVE

In yourself: ocassionally i try to :’’D

Miracles: lol yes 

Love at first sight: i used to ? but not anymore,,,, like i believe u can be attracted to someone at first sight ?? but i feel like love cannot be attained thru visual contact only asldgjoasidjalsdg

[masieofthevalley]

All I Really Want is You (Spideypool) - Chapter Twelve

Find the Masterlist for this fic here! Read this fic on AO3! Check out my Ko-Fi if you would like a commission!

Summary: “Who are you, the big bad wolf?” She snarked. She mentally congratulated herself that her voice hadn’t betrayed the fluttering in her gut.

“Why don’t you come a little closer and find out?”

Peter Parker is an exhausted and overworked student in her senior year of college. Sleep-deprived and running on coffee and fumes, Peter really just wants to get through this semester. On a rare coffee run to ensure that she doesn't fall asleep on patrol or in her textbooks again, she quite literally stumbles upon Deadpool. Try as she might, she just can't stay away from him, and along the way, she finds herself in the middle of a nefarious plot between HYDRA and S.H.I.E.L.D.

A/N: Hello, everyone! Today’s chapter is Chapter Twelve: Absolutely Smitten. This chapter is named after the song Absolutely Smitten by Dodie. 

As always, there is a playlist for this fic, and you can find it on YouTube and Spotify. Spotify won’t play in order unless you have Spotify Premium. You don’t need to listen to it in order, but each chapter has a specific song associated with it. There is also a song associated with the entire fic, which is She Looks So Perfect by 5 Seconds of Summer.

If you liked this chapter, like, share, and reblog, and please leave comments! They make my day, and I will gladly respond. You can also head over to my AO3 and comment there, and I will also respond there! Enjoy!

Chapter Twelve: Absolutely Smitten

Chapter Summary: Peter spirals before her date with Wade, and Wade reacts to Peter all dolled up.

Peter was close to having a nervous breakdown. She was splayed out like a starfish on her bedroom floor, and she wanted to scream due to the anxiety bubbling beneath her skin. Scattered around her on the floor was almost every item of clothing she owned, dirty or clean. She had no idea which articles of clothing needed to washing now, but her sensitive nose could probably find out rather quickly what was dirty if she needed to.

 She had been trying to figure out what to wear for the past fifteen minutes. She had taken a long shower, unsuccessfully trying to calm her nerves. When she got back to her bedroom, her previous panic from earlier about what to wear was reignited, hence her lying on the floor. It was already 7:00 PM, and she was supposed to meet Wade at eight. She didn’t have a lot of time to figure out what to wear. 

Peter couldn’t stop thinking that this date was going to go horribly wrong. What if Wade actually thought she was annoying and ended up hating her? He said earlier that he wasn’t good for her. What if he thought she was too good for him? What if this was all just a colossal mistake? Could she even go out on another date? She hadn’t been on a date with anyone since Gwen. Oh, Gwen. Could she do that to Gwen? 

Peter’s freakout was interrupted by the shrill ringing of her regular cell-phone. She flopped her hand around on the floor until she found the phone. She didn’t look at the screen as she answered it; she knew where the accept button was by now. Peter brought the phone up to her ear and licked her lips. 

“Hello?” she asked, her voice too loud. 

“Peter! How are you, Honey?” Aunt May’s voice was a soothing balm. Peter sighed. 

“Hi, May.” 

“It’s good to hear from you, Sweetheart! Now, do you remember my friend Jamie?” Peter was too distracted to think about why May was suddenly diving into a different subject, so she just went along with it. 

“Yeah, I remember, May.” Peter hoped her voice didn’t sound too weird. She didn’t want her aunt to worry. 

“Well, a few days ago, I was sitting at the front desk right…” 

Aunt May managed to distract Peter for about ten minutes with talk of her hospital and Jamie. Apparently, the other nurse had asked out May, and they were going to get dinner next week. Peter didn’t know how she expected to feel after hearing the news. She didn’t have any ill feelings toward Jamie or toward Aunt May, for that matter; she was just happy for the two women. Aunt May deserved to find someone who loved her just as Uncle Ben did, and Peter was glad that May was finally moving forward. 

Toward the end of their call, Peter looked at the time and realized that she needed to start getting ready if she was going to meet Wade. She told May she needed to go, but she hesitated before speaking again. 

“May?” Peter asked, running her hand through her hair. 

“Hmm?” May hummed, and Peter pictured them sitting together at the older woman’s kitchen table, something they had done hundreds of times over the years. 

“Hypothetically, if I was going out with someone tonight, what should I wear?” Peter’s voice was small as she finished her question. 

“I would say,” May began, sounding like she was trying to imagine all of the shirts in Peter’s closet. “You should wear one of your nicer tee-shirts with that floral button-up you have. Oh, and a pair of jeans.” 

“Thanks, May,” Peter sighed in relief, a small smile on her face. “Okay, I’ll talk to you later.”

“I love you, Honey. Be safe,” May slipped in, and Peter rolled her eyes. 

“Love you too. Bye.” 

“Bye, Peter.” 

Peter put her phone back down on the floor and stared up at the ceiling. She gave herself a few more minutes to think before she stood up and stretched, cracking her back. It didn’t take long to find the floral print shirt that May was talking about, and Peter quickly threw on a pair of jeans that she thought were clean. The tee-shirt she chose was 70’s inspired, with the words, “You axolotl questions,” printed on it along with a picture of an axolotl. It was one of Peter’s favorite shirts, even though it wasn’t exactly nerdy or Science-based in general. Peter turned to look in her small mirror as she buttoned her top half-way. Her button-up was a light-pink color with tiny blue and purple flowers, and the ruffled, short-sleeves complimented her arms quite nicely. She loved how her legs looked in her skinny-jeans, though she had to roll them up twice at the bottom. Finally, she slipped on her sneakers and pulled on her brown jacket, debating on whether or not to add her one beanie to her outfit. Instead of putting it on her head, Peter tucked it into her coat. She looked at herself one more time in the mirror before turning and leaving her apartment. 

Peter was thankful for the ride to Sister Margaret’s. She still wasn’t 100% calm, and skating in the cold October air gave her air to breathe. It also gave her time to look at all of the Halloween decorations in the windows of the shops she passed, and Peter reminded herself that she needed to buy candy the next day. Halloween was the day after tomorrow, and even though there were only a few kids in Peter’s apartment building, she still wanted to have candy for them. 

Peter slowed as she approached Sister Margaret’s. Someone was leaning against the wall outside the bar, and Peter skidded to a stop. Peter grabbed her board and walked closer to the bar, watching as the person slowly pushed off the building. She was close enough now that she could make out black and red leather. It was Wade. 

“Baby Girl!” he cried, waving both of his hands over his head. Peter sighed through a smile and pointedly waved one time. She had the urge to flash Wade peace signs or finger guns, but she resisted. Barely. 

“Hi,” Peter said lamely, rubbing the back of her neck with her free hand. She was standing directly in front of Wade now, and as she looked up at his face, she felt her cheeks warm from the direct attention he was giving her. She didn’t know if she was disappointed that he was in his regular Deadpool attire or if she was relieved that he wasn’t in something more serious. Maybe he was worried that she wouldn’t recognize him without his suit? Peter didn’t know, but there were bigger fish to fry. 

Like the look that was on Wade’s face. His mouth was open beneath his mask, and his eye lenses were the widest she’d ever seen them. He looked genuinely astounded as he continued to stare at her, and Peter started to worry that there was something wrong with her appearance. She hadn’t worn her suit beneath her clothes, right? No, her suit was at home in her backpack. Was there a bloodstain on her shirt? She didn’t think there was, but she looked down just to double-check. One could never be too sure when they were a crime-fighting vigilante. 

“What?” Peter eventually snapped, mildly irritated with Wade’s staring. Wade immediately snapped out of his trance and shook his head. 

“You look very nice, absolutely lovely, little Cottontail,” Wade finally spoke, and Peter furrowed her brow. He wasn’t trying to flirt with her or embarrass her. It was out-of-character based on the few interactions Peter had had with him previously. 

“Um, thank you,” Peter muttered, nervously running her free hand through her hair. He thought she was pretty? “You look nice too….Wade.” 

“Well, shucks, Bambi, don’t flatter me, it’ll just go to my head!” Wade giggled, and Peter relaxed. There he was. 

“I’m serious, though. You’re stunning, Peter,” Wade murmured, stepping forward as Peter took one equal step back. They continued this dance until Peter’s back was flush with the concrete wall behind her. Well, fuck. 

“Yeah?” Peter was breathless, her thoughts spinning around and around in her head as Deadpool crowded in on her. She couldn’t have tried to formulate a coherent sentence if she tried. Her legs began to buckle, and she was grateful for the wall behind her. Her limbs, her very insides, had turned to jelly by Wade’s mere presence. 

“Yeah, Sweetheart.” Wade leaned one of his arms against the wall, pressing himself even closer to Peter. Though they were separated by mere inches, she could feel his body heat. He smelled like leather, gunpowder, and strangely enough, gingerbread. 

It was intoxicating. 

Wade leaned in closer, his hand tipping Peter’s chin up until she was looking directly into the eye lenses of his mask. Peter’s face was on fire. She wanted to rip his mask off and peer into his soul. She wanted to see if he had freckles on his face, and if she did, she wanted to kiss every single one of them. She wanted to feel his body pressed against hers, feel the heat of his palms on her bare skin. Wade’s hand cradled her face, and Peter leaned into it. She tilted her chin even more and rose up on her tiptoes, trying to get closer. She wanted to kiss him - 

“Let’s get this show on the road, Shortstack! Time to get some Italian! Oh shit, I didn’t even ask if you liked Italian!” Suddenly, Wade was five feet apart from Peter and blubbering out some nonsense that Peter could barely keep up with. 

“What?” Peter asked, mind reeling from the abrupt change in atmosphere. 

“Do you like Italian food, Bambi? Please tell me you like Italian!” Wade pleaded, his hands raised in a praying gesture. Peter was getting whiplash. “Shit, I knew I should’ve gone with Mexican. Everyone likes Mexican!” 

“Yes, yes, I like Italian!” Peter huffed, grabbing onto one of Wade’s flailing arms. Wade squawked before relaxing. Peter peered up at him, raising an eyebrow at the weird look on Wade’s face. 

“Stop looking at me like that! Let’s just go!” Peter demanded and made to take her hand off of Wade’s arm. As soon as Peter let go of him, Wade grabbed her hand in his own and laced their fingers. Peter looked down at their entwined hands before looking back up at Wade.

“This okay?” he asked quietly. Peter’s jaw went slack at the raw concern and anxiety present in Wade’s tone, and she nodded, unsure of what to say. 

“Let’s go, Honey Bunches of Oats!” 

“Don’t call me that ever again.” 

“Okay, whatever you say, Honey Nut Cheerios.” 

“No, absolutely not!” 

“Oh, don’t be such a Frosted Flake!” 

“WADE!”

[faithfulnews]

10 Common Mistakes Biblical Counselors Sometimes Make, Part 8

A Word from Bob: You’re reading Part 8 of a 10-part blog series on 10 Common Mistakes Biblical Counselors Sometimes Make.

Mistake #1: We Elevate Data Collection Above Soul Connection.

Mistake #2: We Share God’s Eternal Story Before We Listen Well and Wisely to Our Friend’s Earthly Story.

Mistake #3: We Talk at Counselees Rather Than Exploring Scriptures with Counselees.

Mistake #4: We Practice Half-Biblical Counseling If We Address Sin but Neglect Suffering.

Mistake #5: We Fail to Follow the Trinity’s Model of Comforting Care.

Mistake #6: We Tend to View People One-Dimensionally.

Mistake #7: We Devalue Emotions Rather Than Seeing Emotions as God’s Idea.

Mistake #8: We Minimize the Complexity of the Soul-Body Interconnection

Because we are soul physicians and soul care-givers, our tendency is to focus on matters of the soul. Most biblical counselors are not trained in the medical field, so we wisely avoid offering medical guidance.

Yet, that appropriate emphasis on the soul can morph into a sole focus on the soul. I’ve seen this show itself in several ways while supervising counselors:

We ignore the exploration of physical symptoms.

We minimize the need for a complete physical workup.

We fail to take seriously issues like diet, exercise, rest, and sleep.

We are unaware of the biblical teaching on the interconnection of the body and soul.

We are unread on the potential impact of emotional trauma on the physical brain (as some say, “the body keeps the score,” or as I say, “the physical brain sometimes has a mind of its own”).

We demonize even the consideration of psychotropic medications even for the most severe issues such as schizophrenia, bi-polar depression, or major depression.

To avoid these and other errors, we need a Creation-Fall-Redemption understanding of our soul-body connection.

Creation: Designed by God, We Exist as a Complex Soul-Body Unity 

In Part 6 we read the Biblical Counseling Coalition’s statement on the mind-body connection. We repeat the most pertinent part here:

“We recognize the complexity of the relationship between the body and soul (Genesis 2:7). Because of this, we seek to remain sensitive to physical factors and organic issues that affect people’s lives. In our desire to help people comprehensively, we seek to apply God’s Word to people’s lives amid bodily strengths and weaknesses. We encourage a thorough assessment and sound treatment for any suspected physical problems.”

Genesis 2:7 is foundational.

“Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.”

From the beginning, God created us as a complex, unified combination of dust and divinity, brain and mind, body and soul, spirit and flesh. “Flesh” (basar) in the Old Testament depicts the unity of body/soul, emphasizing that we do not “have a soul,” rather, we are “embodied souls.”

Fall: Depraved by Sin, We Are Now a Fallen Embodied Soul 

Since Genesis 3 we are a fallen combination of soul-body. We are fallen embodied souls in a fallen world with a fallen physical brain in a fallen physical body.

Our bodies no longer function the way they were meant to be. Our liver in our fallen body can become diseased. It can be impacted by the environment outside our body and by what we take into our body. Our physical brain in our fallen body can become diseased. It can be impacted by our external environment (such as social interactions and relational trauma), and by what we take into our body.  

Redemption: Renewed by Christ, We Await Our Final Glorification 

In the New Testament, Paul explains that we have the treasure of the glory of God embedded in bodies that are jars of clay (2 Corinthians 4:7). Later in the same chapter, Paul describes our outward life (our flesh, our body, our temporal existence) as fading away, yet our inward person (our soul, our spirit, our eternal existence) is being renewed daily.

In Romans 8, Paul reminds us that like all creation we groan for the day when our redeemed inner person will be glorified. And we “wait eagerly for the redemption of our bodies” (Romans 8:23).

The Complex Interconnectedness of Our Body and Soul

The life of Elijah in 2 Kings 18-19 illustrates the impact of our body on our soul. Elijah’s traumatic external situation and his broken, tired, and weary body impacted his inner life. Part of God’s solution for Elijah’s spiritual depression was soul related—regaining a biblical perspective. Part of God’s solution was body related—rest, food, and sleep. And part of God’s solution was situational—protection and removal from his unsafe environment.

Likewise, the Bible illustrates the impact of the soul upon the body. In Psalm 32, when David refused to confess his sins, his bones wasted away and his strength was sapped (32:3-4). The soul impacts the body; the body impacts the soul.

What Church History Teaches About Physicians of the Body and Physicians of the Soul 

Sometimes when we initiate conversations about the role of the body, some may suspect us of having surrendered to the modern psychiatric worldview. So, I find it helpful to study how our forerunners in the faith perceived these issues.

Though Martin Luther held a strong spiritual focus, he did not see every issue as a spiritual issue in terms of cause and cure. Luther worked hand-in-hand with physicians because he saw ministers as physicians of the soul and doctors as physicians of the body. For Luther, the wise physician of soul or body distinguishes causes then prescribes the appropriate cure.

In one table talk, Luther states that though Satan was the first cause of sickness and death, this did not negate the need for physical remedies:

“Generally speaking, therefore, I think that all dangerous diseases are blows of the devil. For this, however, he employs the instruments of nature.”[i]

Since this is the case, when one battles sickness, the battle is on two levels, both the spiritual and the physical:

“God also employs means for the preservation of health, such as sleep for the body, food, and drink, for he does nothing except through instruments.”[ii]

Therefore, it is appropriate and necessary to treat the whole person:

“Accordingly a physician is our Lord God’s mender of the body, as we theologians are his healers of the spirit; we are to restore what the devil has damaged. So a physician administers theriaca (an antidote for poison) when Satan gives poison. Healing comes from the application of nature to the creature . . . . It’s our Lord God who created all things, and they are good. Wherefore it’s permissible to use medicine, for it is a creature of God. Thus I replied to Hohndorf, who inquired of me when he heard from Karlstadt that it’s not permissible to make use of medicine. I said to him, ‘Do you eat when you’re hungry?’[iii]

On the other hand, when convinced that an issue was spiritual in nature, Luther did not hesitate to call for spiritual, rather than medicinal cures. He writes to his friend John Agricola concerning John’s wife:

“Her illness is, as you see, rather of the mind than of the body. I am comforting her as much as I can, with my knowledge.”[iv] 

Two concepts stand out in Luther’s response. First, it was important for Luther that causes be sensed. Second, even when he sensed that causes were spiritual, Luther did not believe he was the expert with the last word on everything. This passage and others reflect a pastor who was willing to refer to physicians when the issue was physical and to other Christians when the issue was spiritual, but beyond his realm of expertise.

Luther continued by telling Agricola:

“In a word, her disease is not for the apothecaries (as they call them), nor is it to be treated with the salves of Hippocrates, but by constantly applying plasters of Scripture and the Word of God. For what has conscience to do with Hippocrates? Therefore, I would dissuade you from the use of medicine and advise the power of God’s Word.”[v]

Luther speaks to those today who maintain a materialistic worldview which assumes that every issue is biologically-based and, therefore, treatable only by psychotropic medication. He also speaks to those today who maintain a spiritualistic worldview that assumes that every issue is soul-based and, therefore, treatable only by speaking the truth in love.

The Creation Mandate, Science, Descriptive Research, Medication, and Biblical Counseling 

Genesis 1:26-28 contains what some have called the “Creation Mandate” or the “Cultural Mandate.”

“Then God said, ‘Let us make man in our image, in our likeness, and let them rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air, over the livestock, over all the earth, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.’ So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. God blessed them and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and over every living creature that moves on the ground.’”

I define the Creation Mandate as:

The God-given command that image bearers subdue and rule the earth as God’s vice-regents, under-shepherds, and under-scientists.

We are to love God with all our being, including our physical brain and body, thus exalting God by exploring, enjoying, and expanding the physical realm. The scientist analyzing rocks can glorify God just as much as the preacher preaching about the Rock of Ages or the song-writer writing Rock of Ages.

God created us in His image with the capacities necessary to relate and rule as He relates and rules. When God commanded us to subdue and rule the earth, He was encouraging us to exercise our under-sovereignty over the entire physical universe. We are to be co-creators who tread and knead what God has created—advancing civilization, regulating natural forces, and exploring natural resources. The Creation Mandate is our calling, our vocation, to work like God works—in His power for His glory.

God created and ordered the material universe. Science investigates the material universe and affirms that order. Logically, then, as Christians we should embrace science, research, and medicine as disciplines that examine God’s creation in obedience to the Creation Mandate. As Steve Viars states:

“…those ministering the Word through counseling should be friends of good science and desire to promote the research and development of hard data in every area of human existence.”[vi]

Implications of the Creation Mandate and of Our Complex Soul-Body Interconnection 

As we saw in Mistake #6, it is naïve and potentially harmful to treat people as one-dimensional beings. While this means that we must take into account possible physiological contributions to life struggles, it also means that we should never view psychotropic interventions as the sole solution for life issues. Sadly, in a fallen world fallen scientists tend to see us simply as material beings, soulless machines. Thus, what could be part of the curative process can be used as justification to ignore the inner life issues that may well be connected to various emotional and mental struggles.[vii]

In addition to legitimate concern with a materialistic worldview, it is also wise to acknowledge that psychotropic medication is still in its infancy. We would be naïve not to take into account their side effects and the low current success rate in actually helping troubled people.[viii]

Still, as part of the Creation Mandate, psychotropic medication and neurological psychology as part of a comprehensive, whole-person approach has biblical legitimacy. Psychotropic medication is an issue of Christian liberty and wisdom.[ix] 

Assessing Our Biblical Counseling 

As soul physicians, does our emphasis on the soul morph into a sole focus on the soul that minimizes the complex interrelationship between the body and soul? Do we remain sensitive to physical factors and organic issues that affect people’s lives? Do we encourage a thorough assessment and sound treatment for any suspected physical problems?

As soul physicians, do we understand and apply the Bible’s Creation-Fall-Redemption teaching on the complex interrelationship of the body and soul—as designed by God, depraved by sin, and saved by grace?

As soul physicians, do we seek to understand the impact of the body on our counselee’s soul? Do we seek to understand the soul’s impact on our counselee’s body?

Like Luther, as physicians of the soul, do we avoid a materialistic worldview which assumes that every issue is exclusively biologically-based? And do we avoid a spiritualistic worldview that assumes that every issue is exclusively soul-based?

The Rest of the Story 

I invite you to join us for Part 9:

Mistake #9: We Maximize Sin While We Minimize Grace.

[i]Luther, Luther’s Works, Vol. 54, p. 53.

[ii]Ibid.

[iii]Ibid., pp. 53-54.

[iv]Smith, The Life and Letters of Martin Luther, p. 402.

[v]Ibid.

[vi]Steve Viars, “’Brian’” and Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder,” in Stuart Scott and Heath Lambert, eds., Counseling the Hard Cases, p. 65.

[vii]These concerns are not limited to the biblical counseling world. Psychiatrists such as Allen Frances and Edward Shorter believe that the right medication prescribed in the right dosage at the right time can at times be beneficial. However, they also believe we’ve convinced ourselves that a variety of merely human experience—temporary bouts of sadness or excitement or distraction—are in fact pathologies that need to be blasted with drugs. See, Allen Frances, Saving Normal and Edward Shorter, How Everyone Became Depressed.

[viii]For a nuanced perspective on the state of psychotropic interventions, see Charles Hodges, Good Mood Bad Mood.

[ix]For a comprehensive approach to understanding biblical counseling, medication, and the complex mind-body connection, see Laura Hendrickson, “The Complex Mind/Body Connection” in Christ-Centered Biblical Counseling, pp. 409-422.

The post 10 Common Mistakes Biblical Counselors Sometimes Make, Part 8 appeared first on RPM Ministries.

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[wizcrdingheadcanons]

Hi can you do Fred and George for the EDH? Ily all but I wanted to know if Agnes could do it? (I haven't seen that much of her yet) thanks 💗

You got it!

1. What does their bedroom look like?

The two of them shared a bedroom at the Burrow all their childhood. The room is almost symmetric, with identical sets of furniture on each part of the room, one for Fred and One for George. Organization and order are not something they find super important, so the room is quite messy, but you can see a small difference between the two halves of the room, George is just a little bit more organized. The twins have been able to find a spell that quickly organizes the room, to use when they hear mrs. Weasley in the hallway. The room is cozy, and dressed in the Gryffindor colors. On every surface there are little experiments or research for the joke shop happening, and candy from the skiving snackboxes are lying around, often used to trick their siblings.

2. Do they have any daily rituals?

I think they are quite free from rituals, but keep ones they really like. They find family important, and make sure to spend time with siblings and parents every day. Both at home and in school they find time to talk to Ron and Ginny every day at mealtime, at Hogwarts they tend to sit close to them at the Gryffindor table. Every evening after dinner at the Burrow they drink a cup of warm milk in the kitchen with their siblings before going to bed, something they have done since they were little.

3. Do they exercise, and if so, what do they do? How often?

The twins play quite a lot of quidditch. At Hogwarts, the practices with the Gryffindor team were enough for them. After they quit school they tried to make jogging a weekly routine, but that didn’t catch on, and the only exercise they got was quidditch and running around the shop.

4. What would they do if they needed to make dinner but the kitchen was busy?

They know that they always can asks Molly for some food if it’s her occupying the kitchen. She prides herself in her children never going hungry for long, and even when times were tough money.wise food was always a priority of hers. Molly and Arthur usually cooks dinner for the family, but the twins have a secret stash of food in their room for when the kitchen is busy or there isn’t any dinner left for them.

5. Cleanliness habits (personal, workspace, etc.)

They like to keep their spaces clean, there is never any dust or dirt around them, but organization and order isn’t that important. When developing new products for the shop they keep it fairly organized, they don’t want the unknown content of a hot cauldron spilling over anything, but they only do what’s necessary.

6. Eating habits and sample daily menu

At the Burrow and in school food is served regularly, and the cooking isn’t anything they need to worry about. Molly usually cooks, and often needs help, something they don’t hesitate to do, they know that this will make her happy and proud. Their eating habits are pretty normal and basic, nothing strange, but they are known to miss a meal when concentrating hard on something special.

7. Favorite way to waste time and feelings surrounding wasting time

They are social, and usually waste time talking to their twin or friends when working or doing schoolwork. Both of them are easily distracted, and it other people usually have to remind them to keep working and stop talking. As long as they get things done in reasonable time, wasting time whilst doing so isn’t an issue.

8. Favorite indulgence and feelings surrounding indulging

They LOVE all types of candy! Fred is especially keen on Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans, and love tricking people with them, whilst George loves chocolate frogs. When he was young he had a huge collection of cards, and loved trading with Ron. They have no problem with indulging, as long as it’s done reasonably. When they were little they were both quite chubby, as they loved candy and Molly couldn’t say no to their adorable faces.

9. Makeup?

They have definitely tried it, both as a joke and seriously. It’s nothing they do regularly, but they have no problem with wearing it. Especially George loves using a little to look extra nice for parties and such.

10. Neuroses? Do they recognize them as such?

No, they are both quite happy and peaceful people. Of course they have issues with mental health, like everyone does, and they are not afraid to ask for help. George is just that little bit more anxious than his twin, something that can be seen quite clearly when you get to know them.

11. Intellectual pursuits?

They are constantly looking for new techniques to add to their products for Weasleys’ wizard wheezes, and have no problem with reading a book or studying hard to find them. Many of the things that they sell are made with difficult and impressive magic, something not a lot of people recognize. This is also the case with lot of the pranks they played throughout their school years.Their decision to quit school had nothing to do with it being too hard, it was simply because they had other plans and didn’t find the education interesting enough.

12. Favorite book genre?

I think that the twins’ book genre of choice would be something with a lot of drama and mysteries and with a “quick” storyline. But, they do love a good feel-good book and their bookshelves are full of all genres. They often ask their friends for book recommendations and are open to give any genre a try. They love most books and genres, but can’t stand science fiction.

13. Sexual Orientation? And, regardless of own orientation, thoughts on sexual orientation in general?

The Weasley children were all raised with the knowledge that everyone should be able to identify as any gender or sexuality. They think that everyone should be able to express themselves and that sexual orientation or gender shouldn’t matter that much, the most important thing is being happy with yourself and accepting others. Fred identify as heterosexual, and George as asexual.

14. Physical abnormalities? (Both visible and not, including injuries/disabilities, long-term illnesses, food-intolerances, etc.)

So, obviously George loses an ear when he’s 19, but other than that they have no visible physical abnormalities. They both have pretty bad hay-fever, which causes them to get a blocked nose and itchy eyes in spring. But, thatäs nothing a little magic can’t help.

15. Biggest and smallest short term goal?

Their collective biggest short term goal is to get two kittens. Fred’s smallest short term goal is to buy an easel and George’s smallest goal is to get a potted plant. He is planning to ask Neville for recommendations.

16. Biggest and smallest long term goal?

Their biggest long term goal would be to happy and surrounded by nice and cheerful people. The second biggest goal would be to be successful with Weasleys’ wizard wheezes and be known all over the world for the best magical joke products. George’s smallest long term goal is to have a lot of potted plants when he is older, and Fred’s is to get a trampoline for his house.

17. Preferred mode of dress and rituals surrounding dress

Relaxed, both of them despise dressing up. Also, they secretly love the F and G sweaters Molly knits them every year, even though they tell people they don’t. Both of them wear them lots around the house, and really any time they get the chance.

18. Favorite beverage?

Fred loves butterbeer, he keeps one or two with him at all times in case of an “emergency”. George is ADDICTED to coffee, he can’t go a day without a cup. Since he was 13, days without a cup inte morning is ruined for him and everyone around him. He becomes super grumpy, something that lead to Fred nicknaming him “coffee troll”.

19. What do they think about before falling asleep at night?

Possible jokes and pranks and how to get rid of Snape.

20. Childhood illnesses? Any interesting stories behind them?

Fred and George NEVER got ill as children. Only once, Fred got a fever and Molly got really worried, since it had never happened before.

21. Turn-ons? Turn-offs?

Turn-ons include a sense of humour, funny ideas, imaginative and not against breaking rules. Turn-offs are things like caring too much about other people’s opinions and appearance.

22. Given a blank piece of paper, a pencil, and nothing to do, what would happen?

Both will write down crazy ideas and draw little doodles. Fred like to draw huge things and comics, and George usually draws more detailed things.

 23. How organized are they? How does this organization/disorganization manifest in their everyday life?

I don’t think organization is a priority of theirs, but to run a company you have to be pretty organized. They get things done when they need to be done, and organize just the right amount for their needs. They are good at separating organization in their personal lives and in their business lives, and they don’t hesitate to organize what needs to be organized. As written before, George finds organization just a little bit more important.

24. Is there one subject of study that they excel at? Or do they even care about intellectual pursuits at all?

They don’t consider school and intellectual success extremely important, instead they focus on social and personal achievements. At Hogwarts, their best subject was charms. They knew that it was an important part of them being able to pursue a career working with Weasleys’ wizard wheezes and therefore achieved good grades in the subject.

25. How do they see themselves 5 years from today?

Happy, doing something they love.

26. Do they have any plans for the future? Any contingency plans if things don’t workout?

They just take the days as they come, something that greatly frustrates Molly.

27. What is their biggest regret?

They try not to put to much thought on the past, and to forget anything that they regret.

28. Who do they see as their best friend? Their worst enemy?

Lee Jordan has been their best friend since they first started Hogwarts back when they were 11 years old. Their worst enemy is of course Voldemort. Before he came back, when they were younger, their worst enemy was Professor Snape, they constantly plotted against him and tried to get rid of him.

29. Reaction to sudden extrapersonal disaster (eg The house is on fire! What do they do?)

Both would react instantly, and try to solve the situation and help people around them.

30. Reaction to sudden intrapersonal disaster (eg close family member suddenly dies)

Fred’s reaction would be to prevent it happening again and become aware of the situations around him to as quickly as possible be able to act. He would try to shut of his emotions, but would sooner or later break and feel every emotion related to the experience. George would be devastated, and just need to cry it out.

31. Most prized possession?

Their twin brother.

32. Thoughts on material possessions in general?

Some are necessary, but not all. They both think that we generally put to much weight on them.

33. Concept of home and family?

Love.

34. Thoughts on privacy? (Are they a private person, or are they prone to ‘TMI’?)

Neither of the twins are very private, but they know to keep some parts of their lives to themselves. They are known among their friends to be a little to open, but they don’t mind.

35. What activities do they enjoy, but consider to be a waste of time?

Nothing, they enjoy everything they spend time doing. Their philosophy is that as long as something gives them happiness or pleasure it isn’t a waste of time.

36. What makes them feel guilty?

Being to judgemental and talking about people behind their backs. Being twins they are sometimes exclusive towards towards other people, something they both feel bad about.

37. Are they more analytical or more emotional in their decision-making?

They are both very emotional in their decisionmaking, and sometimes have a hard time being realistic.

38. Would they consider themselves a Type A or Type B personality?

I think that both of them would identify as type B personalities. They are more relaxed and less competitive than others. They don’t get stressed, have a positive outlook on the future and focus on their own achievements over others.

39. What recharges them when they’re feeling drained?

Both enjoy reading more than it might seem, and it is something that helps them recharge. A quiet moment alone reading a good book always gives them energy and new ideas. A book paired with some candy is an unbeatable combination. Just talking and joking around with friends always gives them both an energy boost.

40. Would you say that they have a superiority-complex? Inferiority-complex? Neither?

Neither, they are both very down to earth and humble. But, they don’t lack self confidence and know their strengths and weaknesses.

41. How misanthropic are they?

Not at all! They love being social, know to appreciate others positives and negatives, and they are never judgemental.

42. Hobbies?

Obviously jokes and pranks, quidditch, reading, wizards chess etc.

43. How far did they get in formal education? What are their views on formal education vs self-education?

So obviously they quit school before they graduated, showing that they don’t consider formal education really important. They were raised thinking that education was very important and that finishing it was the ultimate goal, leading to a economically secure and future and success. But, throughout the years they formed their own experience and opinions, that formal education isn’t the most important and that self-education and your own experiences are the most important. But, with this in mind, they do think that everyone should be able to have their own opinions on education, and understand that others think differently.

44. Religion?

They were raised with the idea that everyone should be able to have their own religious thoughts. Even thought neither of the two are religious they do celebrate christmas.

45. Superstitions or views on the occult?

Well, they believe in the occult since they are wizards… But neither believe in divination or astronomy.

46. Do they express their thoughts through words or deeds?

Fred is the more impulsive and physical one, and mostly expresses feelings and thoughts through deeds and actions. George is a little more sensitive, and usually expresses thoughts in words.

47. If they were to fall in love, who (or what) is their ideal?

Fred doesn’t have a type appearance wise, but he falls in love with people who are funny, present and not to serious. He feels the need to be with someone that resembles himself in many ways and understands him emotionally.

48. How do they express love?

They both enjoy hugs and cuddles, they do their loved ones favours and tend to just listen to their feelings.

49. If this person were to get into a fist fight, what is their fighting style like?

They are very dependent on each other, and attack like a team. They avoid getting into a fist fight for as long as possible, but once they get started there is no stopping them. They are energetic and cooperate to beat their opponent as quickly and smoothly as possible. Sometimes they just can’t keep themselves from taking out their wands. Whilst one of them keep punching, the other casts a bat-bogey hex from behind.

50. Is this person afraid of dying? Why or why not?

The twins are not afraid of death itself, but I think that find it important to die “in action”. They would want to die whilst trying out new products for Weasleys’ wizard weezes, playing a prank or in battle. The most important thing for them is being happy when living, and they do not waste time worrying about the future or death. They view death as something inevitable, but still want to go out in style.

Hope you liked it :)

/Agnes

[stressedoutteenager]

Anything for the Bakkoush siblings

Biology, and science in general, is very interesting to Sana. She likes learning how organisms work, she likes learning about the reasons why processes, things and begins are the way they are. She likes learning all that because it helps her make sense of the bigger picture. Sana loves that but what she doesn’t love is the pile of homework her Biology teacher always gives the class. Essays to write, experiments to do and pages over pages to read. Sana wonders if her biology teacher doesn’t know that she, and every other student, has other subjects to do work for.

Staring at her laptop she sighs and closes it. Sana thought having the house completely to herself, silent, would help her concentrate. Actually, it did. But she has been sitting at the kitchen table, completing task after task, for about three hours now. It’s about time to take a break. Her brain needs a rest. She gets up, stretches and walks over to the window to open it. Her mother had closed it before she left three and a half hours ago because she didn’t want Sana to get cold. The problem: the lack of fresh air gives Sana a headache and she was so invested in her work that she didn’t even realize it at first. Her eyes wander down the street, as far as she can look from her spot at the window. Now that she doesn’t drown in school work, her thoughts promptly go back to that one thing she can’t stop thinking about. Or better said, that one person. Especially the absence of noise, usually produced by Elias’ friends, reminds her of him. Pretty much every Saturday, for too long to remember when it started, her older brother and his friends spend their day here. Even before they started that whole YouTube thing.

The absence of noise helped her study better but when she’s not doing that, there is nothing to distract her from her thoughts about Yousef. Spending an entire evening with him, just talking and with that getting to know him more… The way they teased each other first, but then could talk about such an important topic to her and obviously to him too and how effortless the transition was. Yousef listened to her and she listened to him. None of them was judging the other even when they were of so opposing opinions. Sana doesn’t have conversations like that with many people; she barely ever has conversations like that with anyone. So her inability to stop thinking about him is partly due to yesterday evening.

While Sana is still deep in thoughts, contemplating how to deal with her situation and weighing the options in her head, the doorbell rings. Elias has probably forgotten his keys. He left in a bad mood after arguing with their mother and his keys probably weren’t the most important thing on his mind. Sana still wants and needs to talk to him but she also knows it’s better to give him space first.

Lazily she walks to the door and rubs her eye. One of the ups of not wearing make-up. All that studying has exhausted her.

Opening the door, Sana is greeted with a familiar face but not that of her brother.

“Hey.”, he says at the same time she does. Sana didn’t expect Yousef. He’s only here when her brother is.

“From the surprised look I assume that Elias didn’t tell you I’d be coming over?”, Yousef asks, a small smile on his lips, his eyes trained on Sana.

To recollect her thoughts she shakes her head and stands up a little straighter. Yousef is still standing outside, just standing there with his hands in the pockets of his black jacket. The one he wore yesterday too. “No,..”, Sana begins and is very aware of Yousef’s eyes on her. “He doesn’t need to tell me that.” Sana notices Yousef smile getting a little bit bigger and tries not to smile too much herself. “But Elias is not home.”, she concludes.

Apparently Yousef didn’t know. He wouldn’t be here if he did but his eyebrows shoot up in confusion.

“Oh, he texted me this morning to come over around 5 so I thought he’d be here.”, Yousef explains. Well, it was not up to Elias if he could spend the day at home.

Sana thinks about it for a second, in which Yousef presses his lips together and waits. When they talk, he never pushes her. He doesn’t make her feel like she has to be a certain way or act a certain way. Sana tells him:“Eh.. Mom was kind of mad at him for spending the night out and not telling her where he was.. so she made him go run every possible errand.”

Sana thinks that Yousef should know this because he was the one to save Elias from a bigger catastrophe and called Sana to find a solution. Sana still doesn’t know why Elias got drunk that bad and that so early but they haven’t had a chance to properly talk. Yousef looks worried for a second. Eyebrows furrowed, he bites his lip in concentration. Sana cannot help but to notice it and get distracted for a millisecond.

Yousef starts talking and Sana quickly averts her eyes. She hopes that he didn’t notice. Usually Sana is able to focus, not let herself get distracted but when it comes to Yousef, it’s a little different.

“O god, how did it go this morning? I only talked shortly to Elias. He only told me that he’s going home and to meet him here later.”, Yousef rambles. He has his right hand at his neck and his gaze is fixated on Sana. Never looking away.

Sana doesn’t know how much Yousef tries to look at her without her or anyone catching it. Yousef isn’t sure how successful his attempts were because he assumes Elias kind of suspects something but he can’t help it. As soon as Sana walks into the same room as him, his eyes find her immediately. She is beautiful, everybody knows that. With her make-up and without it, like right now. As Sana opened the door, Yousef directly noticed the difference. Usually, Sana wears dark make up, it’s part of the tough-girl facade she has built up for herself. Sure, she is tough. But at the same time, she can be so innocent and cute. And Yousef likes her either way. More than he should, she is his best friend’s little sister. But at this point, it’s too late. He knows that he won’t ever be able to see Sana as just his best friend’s sister.

Even when he’s always reminded of it. The topic of their conversation is Elias after all. Yousef realizes that he was so deep in thoughts, that he probably looked her in the eyes a little too long. No, Sana is looking at him like she was yesterday. Smiling but trying to contain it. Always trying to be in control of everything. But once in a while she forgets that, like right now. The longer they stand there, the bigger her smile gets. Her dimples show and Yousef feels the need to cup her cheek but refrains. He knows his limits, her boundaries.

Someone, one of the neighbors, slams their door which makes both Sana and Yousef jump. This bursts the small bubble they were in. They always seemed to be in, when they look at each other like this, expressing more with their eyes than with their words.

Again, Sana lightly shakes her head. That is something Yousef has seen more than once and she clears her throat.

“Mom..”, Sana starts talking and Yousef blinks a few times to concentrate on her words, “.. interrogated him and asked where he was and such. You can imagine.” Yousef nods, which Sana shortly mimics. It makes Yousef smile but Sana looks worried and the small smile on his lips vanishes.

Sana looks up at him again and hesitates a little, before finally saying:“He said he was at your house.” Yousef nods again. He assumed that that would be the excuse and is fine with it. “But mom said she saw you outside… with me.”

Unsure what he is supposed to say to that, Yousef waits. Yesterday, he couldn’t care less that Sana’s mother interrupted them. He would’ve loved talking to her longer but the day they spend together was more than he had imagined for him and Sana. Especially, after his confession and her reaction being not talking to him for a week. Yousef understood, didn’t like it, but understood. That she felt so comfortable around him yesterday made him happier than he wanted to admit to himself.

Sana smiles. It’s barely there. But it’s enough for Yousef to notice. “I just wanted to tell you. I don’t want you to get in trouble because of Elias and I.”, she thinks for a second, “In more trouble than you already got because of us.” The faintest smile on her lips is gone now, Sana frowns and Yousef’s hand itches to reach out and straighten that worry line in between her eyebrows.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”, Yousef says and smiles at Sana. She is back to avoiding his eyes and instinctively he tries to make their eyes meet. “Hey.”, he says smiling and hoping that she’d do the same. She looks at him again and irks an eyebrow at him. She presses her lips together and Yousef knows it’s because she tries not to give away too much of what she feels. Yousef waits a few seconds, in which Sana and he look at each other. It’s innocent and playful at the same time.

Finally, when she looks him in the eyes, Yousef says:“Anything for the Bakkoush siblings.”

Sana laughs a little at that. Yousef can’t help but grin at that. Making Sana smile is one of his favorite things. She’s always so tough, breaking that facade for even a second is pretty satisfying to Yousef.

“Hmm.”, is all Sana says at first, smiling and with her eyebrows raised.

“Hmm.”, Yousef mimics her and also raises his eyebrows.

“Anything, hm?”, Sana asks smiling widely. Her dimples make an appearance and Yousef looks at them and back into Sana’s eyes.

Yousef nods, his smile almost too wide to fit on his face:“Anything.”

If somebody didn’t close another door loudly, Sana and Yousef would have been standing there, smiling at each other for who knows how long. Again, they both jump at the loud sound and turn around at the same time, when Elias says:“Hey.”

He was the one that closed the main door and walks up the stairs. He stops next to Yousef who is still standing in the hallway outside of the apartment. Yousef didn’t even notice nor care about that.

“Why are you standing at the door?”, Elias asks and looks from his little sister to his best friend. Elias has too many bags in his hands to carry and Yousef and Sana go to take some from him at the same time. Elias smiles tiredly at both.

Sana answers:“Yousef came by like you two talked about.” Elias nods, Yousef observes the looks between the siblings and smiles to himself. Even if everything goes wrong, Sana has Elias and Elias has Sana.

Now, Sana opens the door more and lets the two boys in. Yousef smiles at her while passing her and then going straight to the kitchen to put down the bags.

Yes, he’ll do anything for the Bakkoush siblings. For Sana, he’ll stand at the door as long as necessary if it means that she is comfortable and he can talk to her.