#they cooked here very hard ngl

[theburninghallofpep]

hey @beanghostprincess . thought you'd like to see this !!

they cooked here, didnt them? ^-^

[nkogneatho]

𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐃𝐈𝐂𝐊𝐓𝐎𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐘

—a/n: ngl i cooked. overcooked even, so imagine some of the nastiest shit, this has it all. if i studied this much in my exams i would have a higher CGPA. anyways. hex codes are given. hope you like it.

—cw: dick+pubes+balls+cum analysis (kill me pls), monsterfucking in sukunas, creampie and breeding, never heard phrases from my dicktionary, not proofread plus it's 4 am i am half asleep

𝐆𝐎𝐉𝐎 𝐒𝐀𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐔

code: length: #ffe8d6 , tip: #f2aab7

We all know it. King of long dick. okay but no fr he has the longest dick in jjk. but let's get to the details. so size?? a whopping 7 inches. but you know his dick does this thing that when it gets hard, it curves slightly so hey!! maybe the true size is 7.2 or something. about color...his cock has the same color as his normal skin tone but as it approaches to the tip, it falls under a blushing pink gradient. and god his tip is so pink when he's hard, it feels likes all the blood in his body is settling there. his pubes hmm? white bush. he does trim it tho. but c'mon man!! it's gojo satoru we're talking about. he gets off seeing your nose rubbing against his white trim when you deepthroat him. also it's very rare for people to deepthroat him because as i said, longest dick. which is why when you actually manage to take him all the way in, the rare feeling of the throat sucking in has him shooting his translucent load down your throat. how does his cum taste? slightly sweet. duh. he's a sweet tooth and the reason he doesn't get diabetes is because all the sugar goes into his semen.

𝐅𝐔𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐎 𝐓𝐎𝐉𝐈

code: length: #ad8272 , tip: #875f54

*long inhale* bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock bigfatcock. incase i wasn't clear. he has a BIG FAT FUCKING COCK. he has the cock of our dreams. his size is long and girth is thick asf. length would be about 6.8 or 6.7. well about the girth...3.5 inches. yeah. good luck sucking that in your hole lmao. let's get to the tone. his cock has much darker color than his body. he has one of those milktea brown cocks. and the cockhead is even darker like coffee. oh wait! the cockhead. right. so hear me out. DID YOU KNOW HE HAS A FAT MUSHROOM TIP? the kind that is so thick that it gets lowkey stuck in your hole when he pulls out. my man has to tell you to breathe and relax so he can get it out. about his balls, bitch they're as the same size as big lemons. like you know why he wears those baggy bottoms otherwise everyone would see those nuts easily. they're not even nuts. nuts are dry. his have so much cum inside that if he doesn't shoot his load in you or on you once a day, they'll actually explode. cum taste? i said it before here but incase you're new here, it tastes like if someone put a little lemon and msg in thick and creamy alfredo sauce. bye.

𝐆𝐄𝐓𝐎 𝐒𝐔𝐆𝐔𝐑𝐔

code: length: #c99a89 , tip: #fcd7ca

*evil laugh* i am not holding back on him but hear me out. HORSE COCK. have you seen it?? it's like curvy girthy cock. me thinks he has long hair and broad shoulders. and have you seen his hands??? it all sums up. isn't as long as gojo but god that meat is fat as fuck. his size has to be around 6 inches and the girth from a 2d angle is about 2 so i found the pythagorean theorem of his cock which is like 6.324 inches. so his tip starts at like 5.324 inches. about the tone...his dick starts darker—or maybe it's cuz of his pubes—at the base but as it reaches towards the head, it blends into the color of his skin tone. geto likes to clean shave sometimes but you know when he saw you drooling over his happy trail when he came out of the shower with a flimsy towel wrapped around his body, yeah he couldn't get that drooling expression of yours out of his head. so he trims it to the length that wouldn't get in the way and is easy to keep it clean but also enough to make you salivate. his balls are very similar to a fig in shape. aren't really fat but they grow hella tight when he is close to cumming. the taste of his cum is sour. i am telling you. like not too sour but it sorta has the acidic taste to it. but nonetheless it tastes good on your tongue. on his too, when he kisses you after shooting a load in your mouth

𝐍𝐀𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐈 𝐊𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎

code: length: #e8cca9 , tip: #b59267

chooo choo mfs. i am about to go off. dw i won't slander him, he has already suffered enough. #justicefornanami but anyways back with my girthy cock agenda. now listen. he is not long. i mean he has an average size but the girth??? sheesh! that makes up for it. his length has to be like 5.8 or max to max 6 though gotta love that 4 inches girth, big fat meat, exceeeding half the size of his length. now if you don't understand this concept in numericals, let me indulge you in a scenario that might help. imagine him coming home frustrated from work and all he needs is a warm shower. but there you are all slutty in your outfit and all he wants to do is blow your back out. so he gets hard...like really hard. and it's so painful for his cock to stay put under all those layers of cloth that if he doesn't free it, it will tear it's fat way out. so when he finally decides to unbuckle the belt, pull his undies down with the waistband, his cock jumps out and slaps against his shaved pelvis. so loud that you can hear it over the noise of the tv. now you get it? no? okay hear this one. when he wears an underwear coming fresh out of the shower, his dick takes up about the area similar to a size of a bowl. about his tip, he has a fat tip bruh. not too fat because the base is much thick but yeah. now time for the taste, mixture of citrusy and salty. like when he cums in your tongue it has that salty flavor but the after taste is sweeter and falls more of the citrusy side. maybe like a tangerine. wow i really went off. apologies everyone.

𝐑𝐘𝐎𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐔𝐊𝐔𝐍𝐀

code: base: #805149 , length: #f5d7c6 , tip: #edc8bb

i am in my monsterfucking era so this is gonna be monster kuna. so we all know four arms, two dicks yada yada yada but did you know sukuna has a special ability?? like we all know he can summon his mouth anywhere but did you know he can summon his dick too? anywhere on his body. he does this thing where if you act too bratty, he'd throw his palm your mouth and you'd think he's just blocking your voice but this mf pops out a whole ass 8 inch monster cock in your mouth that has you gagging and choking, eyes rolling back. *728 dead. 263 injured* there's no size for kuna since he can adjust the size but if we're talking tones, the base of his cocks (wow. plural. would you look at that) have reddish undertone. like tomato red but the actual dickbod has like peachy pink color. his cockhead is long and kinda blends into the length. his cum tastes bitter and sour. not repellent but the taste is still strong. don't underestimate this man though. he'll rip your holes apart yet have you begging him for more. that's what simply is the power of the king of curses. he has you compelled. but i gotta give it to sukuna fuckers. y'all have some of the strongest pussy/ass.

𝐊𝐀𝐌𝐎 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐎

code: length: #f2e7c4 , tip: #d6b596

chosito's cock represents a shampoo bottle. now you might ask which one. the retail shampoo bottle that you use as your mic in the shower. he has a pretty and perfect dick. his girth is thick enough for you to wrap your fingers around you and his length enough to fill you up. whenever you stroke his cock, you can't stop looking at it. it just fits right. like it was made for you. so perfect. his size falls under 5.6 to 5.9 inches and the girth is 2.5 inches, so it's like a good ratio. he has an olive undertone and a darker mushroom tip. his pubes aren't trimmed but he keeps them extra clean. you know it because whenever you give him a blowjob and you take him all the way in, there is a floral smell lingering around the area. he doesn't naturally sweat a lot plus he has a very bouncy skin with slightly soft texture so his cock is always pleasant to suck. choso also has very visible veins. and when i mean very...i mean very. like i mentioned his skin has a soft texture so the skin on his length is flimsy and kinda see through. so when you are settled between his legs, stroking him, your eyes are so indulged in watching the blood rush through them and when he cums, his veins start slightly moving and his balls tightens. Oh! Balls. can i say it?? okay i'll say it. Breeder balls. i told you he has a 5.6 inch cock, y'all would have been disappointed. but see the creator of this universe took a few mass off his dick only for it to be filled in them breeder balls. which is why, he cums a lot. when he shoots a load, he almost gives you a facial. his cum is sweet with a metallic taste. but hey! it's a pleasure to swallow his cum. but you know why i compared his cock to a shampoo bottle? it because when he is so horny and hard and you give his base a few big squeezes, he'll spurt out a thick load of cum like your shampoo.

Tags: @bluberrimuffintop @anxious-chick @yuujispinkhair @osamwah @arisaturn @multistan-247 @sensitive-neuvi-enthusiast @mrskokushibo @desi-the-blue-eyed-kakushi @crescentmoontsuki @dianagracesworld @ariachaos @pu-re-love @trueformsukuna @loyal-to-my-dilf @baizzhu @w0nderbeluga @splatmastr   @vuggevise @makisslut @moonish-en @lufemia @jeanboyjean @marshadowstea @frustrated-kitten @katsukichu @sir-kuroo @aleks-chan @dreadsuitsamus @justiceforquentin @kitashousewife @jiaspoon @sintiva @dawn-bunni @mostlyhornyandsad @dilfslayer3000 @shadowy--night @palebananafury @shutyourwhoremouthbecky @figlia-della-luna @marenalee @aoitoge @lahniu @kayjayxx @seraphinaivy @megumistoehair

[a-certain-romance]

sharing more housewife reader and making people happy fr

this time we got ladies w dicks to make it more intesting

dehya loves her house wife after awhile of being a merc and not being able to see her housewife and catching her ass in the kitchen she just has to bend you over and pull you head a bit while her dick is deep in you doggy style

then we have candace who would be falling inlove with the scent you bring to her house and cooking and cleaning whenever the villiage needed to be proctected just makes her want to 69 with you just so you cna enjoy her dick while also being pleasured at the same time<3

beidou and house wife reader mean that their gonna be dealing with their drunk wife(beidou) 24/7 beidou apperciaite whenever you take care of her while shes drunk and she loves her hard working wife so hard she hates the fact shes been ignoringnyou for drinks so in the small wave riders she fucks you deep and content letting you cock warm her and move your hips against her to just sob and beg her to just doggy style you instead of driving the boat but you arent lifting a finger till your at the island shes gonna fuck you at

jean and lisa w house wife reader is magical like lisa is very teasing and makes you moan every single time she slowly gropes you however for jean you can lay on her lap for hours being cormftable on her thigh without her knowing sometimes (but she does notice and kinda finds it cute) whenever yohr truly all in the mood lisa is on anal while jean just rubs infront of you so you can slowly suck on her sadly jean is a bit rough she doesnt it mean it tho!!:(( lisa always cormforts her by giving you or a her soft kiss and kissing your tears away whenever jean pounds you they can be so rough sometimes

ngl next is teacher reader and a kid falls inlove w them so jealous jealous jealous!!

A/N: I. Love. Long. Asks. Housewife anon ily & u read my mind I was just about to say u need a name atp! This is the most tags I’ve ever used on a fic haha. Also my tumblr is acting weird and I can’t see the words I pasted so pink font here we go.

Warnings: Smut written by a minor, anal (Deyha)(Beidou)(Lisa), Hair pulling (Deyha), 69 position (Candace), Oral R giving (Candace)(Jean), Confined spaces (Beidou), Creampie (Beidou), Cockwarming (Beidou), Plug w/ cock (Beidou), Spanking (Lisa), Pet names (Lisa:Kitten), crying (Jean), fluff (all)

Link to Pt1, Pt2, & Pt4

- The thing about Deyha is that she’s big

- Rather than shoving it as far as she can she eases into you slowly. And when her front meets your ass she’ll start playing with your clit to pass the time as you get used to the size.

- When she starts to thrust she’ll make you take her cock all the way to the hilt, back to the tip and all the way in again. Every time she moves it touches your inner walls in all the right places.

- Although she starts out gentle she will slowly begin to lose it. It’s been so long since she’s had your sweet cunt wrapped so tightly around her. She just can’t catch a break with being a merc and a bodyguard, so in this moment she just need to fuck your hard

- As your tongue rolls out of your mouth and drool starts to pool down to the marble countertops. She’ll stick 2 fingers down your throat and chide you for making such a mess so as she pounds away.

- You were a spice trader before you settled down in Arue village with Candace.

- Every time you came into her home you smelled like a blend of cinnamon and calla lillies. And now she gets to wake up to that scent every day.

- Your knowledge of spices leads you to always cook the most delicious meals and bake the most flavorful delicacies. Your reputation has made its way across your travels and Candace couldn’t feel any more lucky.

- On the days that a heavy sandstorm hits, you toil away in the kitchen baking batches upon batches of sweets to feed the entire village. You learned quicker that your dishes create a calming affect and it helps those with anxiety over the monsters in the sand.

- She’ll catch you handing them out after the sandstorm dies down and helps hand out the rest. Once everyone’s had their share you pack up the leftovers as Candace showers. Most times when Candace is out fighting for her village you welcome her back with soft sex. Everyone looks up to her for protection, and there’s so much on the line when she ventures out, not fully knowing if she’ll come back in one piece. Having you in her arms makes her believe she can withstand anything that comes her way.

- She’s so worked up this time around. She wastes no time in practically dragging you to the bed. She doesn’t know if she should pleasure you first or the other way around.

- So of course the only option was to set your pussy down on her face as you drop your mouth down to the base of her cock. Candace loves the feeling of your weight on her. It doesn’t matter if you feel you’re crushing her, your closeness is a reminder that you’re safe and sound, and going through all the scars and sandstorms are worth it if it means she gets to protect you.

- You finally let her cock enter your mouth, your thumb running up and down the length of the shaft and occasionally gripping it. At the same time Candace rolls her tongue into you further, and in seconds your cum starts to drip down her face.

- You pull your mouth out when her cock starts to twitch and you know her climax is coming. Ropes of her cum shoot out and paint your face, neck and breasts white

- Beidou drives the waverider far out onto the water but stops halfway to the island.

- You’re confused at first, why would she stop the boat in the middle of the water? She hops out from the drivers seat and pulls you down, now knowing that the reason she stopped was so she can fuck you without any distractions.

- Being in a such a small waverider gives her no other choice but to fuck well and deep, your panting even starts to fog up the windows with how rough she’s being. She doesn’t stop until her hot, thick cum is gushing out of you and dripping down your thighs.

- And she still feels so guilty for choosing drinks over you, so she keeps her dick plugged into you and has you cockwarm her until you reach the island. She just wants to be closer to you for as long as your here with her. Neither of you are fully satisfied, but she doesn’t let you ride her, not yet at least. Beidou knows she’s being a bit rough this time so she’s intent on focusing all her attention on you.

- When you get to the island she abruptly pulls out and guides you (and your wobbly legs) to a nice picnic laid out on the beach, blankets and baskets and everything. And there isn’t even any alcohol, only a sweet Sunsettia and Lavender Melon juice blend that she promises is worth dying for.

- Despite your pleas, she avoids anymore sexual contact until you’ve had your fair share of food and drink. Conversations with her flow freely, but you can just ignore the want between your legs.

- After you both packed up the remaining leftovers, she’ll shove you to lay down with your knees under your stomach, roll down your pants, and take you from behind. “This is what you wanted wasn’t it?” She grunts out, “You were just begging for me to ram my cock into you doggy style barely an hour ago”

- You should get rewarded like this more often

- Lisa’s groping you anywhere, and that doesn’t stop at just your body. No no no Lisa will take any chance to tease you whether that’s behind closed doors or against the Library stacks. It’s all worth it for the small noises you make, like you’re just a tiny little kitten under her.

- When she gets behind you she traces the curve of your ass before delivering spank after spank to hear your cries. Lisa might not admit it often, but hearing you beg really gets her going. There’s just something about your voice that makes her want to hear you reach your limits.

- Jean loves having you around! She’ll take up any chance that has you by her side, doesn’t matter when or where. She’ll tell you you’re cute plenty of times but she wholeheartedly believes that words can’t encompass how she feels about you.

- Jean’s sorry about being too rough with you, she really doesn’t mean it! It’s just that when she looks down on you and sees those needy, teary eyes obediently sucking on her length she can’t help but shove the rest of her cock farther down your throat. You always feel so filled and so content with the both of them.

- But let’s be honest, despite how rough they can be, aftercare with them is heaven. Lisa holds you in her arms while Jean draws a bath. When you all get in the tub Jean massages shampoo in your hair while Lisa sensually washes your body, not ever missing a single patch of skin.

- Lisa is always the he first to get out. Jean kisses every inch of your skin that she can reach as she wipes the suds off your body. When you and Jean finish drying off Lisa has prepared a tray with tea and scones for all of you to enjoy

[beanghostprincess]

the monster trio are various flavors of audhd (all strawhats are neurodivergent, but they the most)

luffy is high empathy, stimming, bluntness and audioprocessing disorder

zoro is hyperfocus, sleepy, good at maths and flat affect

sanji is infodumping, special interest (cooking), rigid rules (don't hurt women, don't use hands, etc) and difficulty with regulating emotions

Agree completely 🫶🏻 There is not a single neurotypical person in this crew !! That's why they love each other so much, they just get each other. In general, I think that the whole "misfits finding a found family" trope is incredibly neurodivergent coded but I think that specifically with the strawhats there is like, a fundamental obvious understanding that none of them are neurotypical. Like there is no way. I know it's meant to be very general for people who don't fit in to relate, but keeping in mind that most of the time the reason people don't fit in is because of living in a normative, neurotypical society... Idk. I just feel like the strawhats were all meant to be for neurodivergent people.

This being said !!!

AAAAAAAAAA I love the monster trio being neurodivergent. Mainly because I know it'd bother sooo many dudebros. And also because it makes so much sense and it's very very very real to me.

Luffy can't stop moving or doing stuff because it is painfully boring to be doing nothing, so he's always finding new things to do because short attention span and hyperactivity in a crew where everybody has their own stuff to do?? Not a good combo. So he's always seeing what he can do to not get bored. I think he's always touching Zoro's earrings absentmindedly like-- It's not even on purpose. He just does it. Also, being made of rubber has to be the best thing for stimming with your own body ngl. He's sooo direct and honest and blunt because he genuinely doesn't get why people don't think the same as him, but he doesn't have to get it to be emotionally attached and help you out because he makes other people's emotions his. Also add info-dumping right there because I know this guy is the biggest nerd about beetles and will talk to anybody who asks about them. They might be talking about something that has nothing in common with them and he brings them up anyway. Also! I adore the APD headcanon??? You're so right and it fits him SO well.

Zoro is my absolute beloved here because he has so much depth and feels and knows so much but people always characterize him as stoic and emotionless and like,, He just has a hard time showing it visually but he feels stuff deeply. He's always training and it almost feels like the world around him vanishes and he's always sooo eepy. Eepy boy. I get it. I think he almost finds it frustrating tbh like- We never talk about that but I think it's a bit bothersome for him sometimes? Also he's my favorite math genius and he might be shitty at directions but damn he's good at this. Also he likes things to be perfectly placed and everything to be in patterns of 3, thank you.

Sanji is the realest for me-- Don't ask him about the All Blue (please do) because he will start talking like crazy for hours and hours and hours with the brightest of smiles. If somebody wants to know about his cooking like, actually know what he's doing, he won't shut up. Somebody mentions any animal or vegetable or fruit and the guy is already telling you all the ways it can be cooked. He has a lil voice in his head telling him constantly what he should and shouldn't do btw and I also hc that he has to have everything in the right place or else he loses his mind completely. And that's tied to not being able to regulate emotions properly-- So he's constantly extremely anxious or feeling waves of sadness or just, extreme emotions in general.

[faebaex]

Valentine's 500...

Student Name: Yuuna Shin

Gender: Female

Dorm: Ramshackle

Scenario: Grim "accidentally" burnt all of the chocolates she intended to give out. Heartbroken, she quickly salvageable enough to make one piece for each of the boys. Rather than the special pieces she worked hard on, saved all of her money for, these simple pieces aren't her ideal. Despite that, she wants to let them know they were thought of, no one left out.

- ✨️ Anon

Hot Chocolate

author note: i'm finally baaaack! it feels so good to finally write again, and for all the characters no less! it was fun to think of how each of them would react to receiving a chocolate, especially in this circumstance! I've never written for someone's OC before, so I hope I did your character justice, ✨️ Anon! I hope you like it! I think Yuuna did a great job with the chocolate, all things considered! ☆ ～('▽^人)

characters: all main dorm twst characters x F!Reader (can be read platonic or romantically, however you fancy)

“GRIM!!”

You had meticulously budgeted over the last couple of months to make sure you had enough money to buy ingredients. The cooking facilities in Ramshackle were certainly far from the best, but you had worked hard to perfect the recipe, and then worked harder still to make personalised chocolates for everyone. All of that hard work, dashed because of your rowdy roommate couldn’t keep his paws to himself.

“What’s the big deal?! I’m the only one you should be making chocolate for anyways.” Grim pouted, seemingly completely unrepentant of his actions as you fanned the residual smoke away with a towel, all the rickety windows opened wide in an attempt to air out the room so you could properly survey the damage. Your heart sank when you saw that more than three quarters of the chocolates had been charred black.

“These were for everyone, Grim, but now you’ve ruined everything!” You spat, your anger flaring as you approached the trays of chocolate, picking through the ruins to see if there was any that could be saved. Grim bristled defensively at your words, the cold shoulder he received from you as you busied yourself searching through the charred remains of his jealous outburst causing him to scuttle out of the kitchen in tantrum.

You sighed as you looked down at the plate of chocolates that you had managed to salvage. After a count, you realised that you had just enough chocolate… Grabbing the decorative pouches you had prepared for the chocolates, you quickly packed them in, one chocolate each, worried that Grim might come back to finish the job out of petty spite. With a heavy sigh and feeling very disheartened, you left Ramshackle to deliver the remains of your chocolate…

Heartslabyul

Riddle

He thinks you are here to visit Ace and Deuce but will blush when you deliver him the chocolate.

He’ll play it off that he’s angry at Grim for destroying your hard work if you tell him what happened.

It’ll be off with Grim’s head for sure.

Your chocolate for him is shaped like a rose.

He’s reluctant to eat it because it’s a gift from you but would eat it during one of his scheduled tea times (as long as it doesn’t break any rules)

He’ll tell you how good it tastes and encourage you to continue baking!

Ace

Ngl he would totally laugh at the melted chocolate then feel bad when he realises how upset you are about it.

(He will laugh even more if Deuce’s chocolate is more melted than his)

Eats it right then and there, no fanfare, just shoves it straight in his mouth.

Tells you it tastes good but that you could improve, but that’s just his way of trying to get you to make him more chocolates.

Your chocolate for him is shaped like his card soldier assignment.

He, ofc, did not notice and regrets that when he realises (because of Deuce) that the chocolates were themed.

Now he’ll definitely pester you to make him more.

Deuce

Treats the chocolate like it’s the most precious thing he’s ever received.

Literally almost beats up Ace when he laughs at how melted it is, honestly you have to calm him down and restore order before they both get collared by Riddle.

Your chocolate for him is also his card soldier assignment and unlike Ace, he notices right away and his cheeks got a little pink at the attention to detail.

He does not eat it. He can’t bring himself to, he likes it so much. In fact, he likes it so much that he carries it around in his pocket all the time like some lucky charm.

That, ofc, results in it getting crushed in his pocket eventually. Deuce is inconsolable when he realises, but then he eats it, albeit feeling a little glum at the loss.

Please make him more choco. If anyone in this forsaken college deserves more chocolate, its Deuce.

Cater

Magicams the whole experience.

No but fr, he’s surprised and touched that you thought of him, and that just makes him start to feel awkward, so he overcompensates with the Magicamming.

Your chocolate for him is a diamond.

Makes you take a selfie with him with the chocolate ofc.

He eats it, even though he doesn’t like sweet things.

Suggests that you and Trey do a collab and ofc that he’d Magicam the entire experience. It would go viral, after all!

Trey

He’s touched.

Definitely one of the more judgmental chocolate eaters, but he won’t say anything about the taste, especially if he knows what Grim did.

Definitely offers you future use of the Heartlabyul kitchen if you want to do any more baking in peace.

Offers his assistance too if you want to try baking anything out of your current experience level.

Your chocolate for him is a four-leaf clover.

He thinks that detail is particularly cute and jokes whether he should keep it and see if it brings him any luck.

He’s smarter than Deuce though so he will eat it and not actually carry it around with him.

Savanaclaw

Leona

Unimpressed that you are interrupting his nap.

Gripes that you should have bought him meat instead of chocolate.

That doesn’t mean he’s not going to accept it though, and he’s actually pretty smug about it.

He’ll definitely give you that infuriating little smug smile that he does.

Your chocolate for him is shaped like a lion.

(He’s mean so he’ll call you uncreative for that ;-; he doesn’t mean it though he’s just grumpy)

Will definitely think of some petty way to get back at Grim if he finds out that he is the reason that he only got one chocolate.

Jack

His tail is definitely going to wag. He’ll pretend that is totally not happening, and will deny it if you point it out.

Your chocolate for him is shaped like a cactus.

He tries his best to act cool and collected but in reality his heart is thumping and his cheeks have turned pink.

Will tell you that there was no need for you to have gone out of your way to make chocolate for him.

He’s grateful for it though, no one other than his kid sister has given him chocolate before.

The fact that its shaped like a little cactus makes him feel a little giddy too, a sign that you take an interest in his hobbies.

Ruggie

Not one for free handouts normally but… Wow that chocolate looks so pathetic that he’d be doing you the favour by taking it off your hands… Shishishi

Would feel bad about ribbing you over it if you told him what Grim did to the chocolates, also would internally agonise that if it wasn’t for that furball, he’d be getting more chocolate.

Your chocolate for him is shaped like a doughnut.

At the sight of it, he’s immediately throwing an arm over your shoulder with his signature grin.

“You know what doesn’t melt? Doughnuts.”

Shamelessly hinting you should make him some doughnuts next time.

Octavinelle

Azul

Instantly suspicious.

He doesn’t want to accept it, he’s convinced you’re working an angle. What do you want? What are you trying to achieve? Do you truly think he is some fool who would easily be tricked into a situation where he owes someone something?

Absolutely cannot handle the fact that you’re giving this to him out of the kindness of your heart. His cheeks grow hot and his hands clammy, his cool, collected business façade slipping as he dithers over how to accept this.

He ends up giving you a Mostro Lounge coupon because seven forbid you think he owes you now.

Your chocolate for him is shaped like an octopus.

Now his cheeks are hot for another reason. Are you mocking him? And it’s melted… Is this some sort of threat?

Will not admit out loud that he thinks that the little, slightly melted octopus is charming, in its own way.

Jade

Is shocked that you’d take the time to make him some chocolate, although you’d never notice it when he smiles at you with his usual ice-cold polite smile.

His thought process is similar to Azul in that he suspects you may be doing it to curry favour with him, but he’s less neurotic about it than Azul.

After all, he’s used to receiving presents from those who wish to get on his family’s good side.

Your chocolate for him is shaped like a mushroom.

When he sees it, his ice-cold front immediately melts and he becomes 100% certified baby girl.

Starts trying to guess what type of mushroom it is, doesn’t even care that it is partially melted because that just makes the guessing game so much more exciting!

He doesn’t eat it. How could he? Instead, he preserves it.

Your mushroom chocolate now has a special place in his mushroom paraphernalia collection.

Floyd

Prepare to be squeezed.

Absolutely ecstatic that you made him chocolate, not at all bothered that its just one.

Your chocolate for him is shaped like a shrimp.

Does his goofy little laugh when he sees the shape, his razor-sharp teeth on full display.

“Little shrimpy made me a shrimpy to eat? Ne, does that mean you want me to take a bite out of you?”

Savagely eats the chocolate right then and there whilst looking you in the eyes the entire time.

I hope you left delivering his chocolate until last because he’s going to be clinging onto you for a while.

Scarabia

Kalim

Wants to throw you a party because you gave him a chocolate.

Please stop him, Jamil is so tired.

He’s so happy! You made this yourself? That’s so cool, you’re so cool! Wants you to teach him how to do it too!

It’s fine, he’ll suggest you two can borrow the school kitchen, so Jamil doesn’t find out.

Your chocolate for him is shaped like a jewel.

He’s so amazed that you managed to make it into such a cool shape.

Don’t be surprised if a chocolate statue suddenly shows up at Ramshackle because Kalim commissioned it for you.

Jamil

Oh, you shouldn’t have.

No really, you shouldn’t. Now he feels uncomfortable. Why would you make chocolate for someone like him?

Secretly shy about it but maintains his aloof persona.

Your chocolate for him is shaped like a snake.

He really likes it, he feels like it matches the armlet for his dorm uniform.

Another one of the more judgmental ones when it comes to tasting the chocolate and unlike Trey, he will give you pointers on whether you could improve your recipe.

Not in a mean way but in a more “why don’t you try this next time…” kind of vibe.

Maybe, just maybe there was a little hint in there that you could try out improvements to your chocolate recipe together…

Pomefiore

Vil

Oof.

Now let’s be real, this guy receives a lot of gifts, and a lot of the time those gifts are chocolate. All the time. From absolutely everyone. Fans, other students, colleagues. The list is endless. The chocolates usually go untouched, he has an image to maintain you know.

He was visibly surprised to receive the chocolate from you, you don’t seem the type to gift him something.

But as it was just one chocolate, he decided it wouldn’t do any harm to eat it…

Your chocolate for him is shaped like a crown.

The MOST judgmental out of all the boys in regards to the chocolate.

You lose marks for the chocolate being melted, even if he knows it was Grim’s fault. He sympathises but as a man who strives for perfection, such a flaw cannot be ignored.

Will straight up tell you that he’s tasted better chocolate, but of course he has, luxury brand chocolate ends up on his doorstep daily.

Will stress that that doesn’t mean he doesn’t like it, he thinks your recipe has its own charm.

Will give you a kiss on the cheek as he leaves, which is how you know you did good.

Epel

Absolutely over the moon that you made him chocolate.

Will throw down with Grim when he finds out what he did.

Your chocolate for him is shaped like an apple.

Thinks it’s so badass that you personalised the chocolate just for him.

Eats it immediately because he thinks if Vil sees it he will confiscate it right away and Rook can’t do anything if its already in his stomach.

Or can he?

Hypes up the taste of the chocolate so much. As if it’s the best chocolate he’s ever tasted.

May try to convince you to keep a secret chocolate supply just for him at Ramshackle.

Rook

Beauté! 100 points!

Waxing lyrical as soon as he sees the little gift pouch.

Your chocolate for him is shaped like a bow and arrow.

Another one of the judgmental ones but you wouldn’t be able to tell because he is hyping up the chocolate so much.

For him, the score isn’t only about the taste, its about all the components that came to make this dainty, melted chocolate in his palm.

Truly marvellous!

For the next week he’ll probably reference how he can still faintly taste the chocolate on his lips when he sees you.

Ignihyde

Idia

Firstly, props for getting a chocolate to Idia in person in the first place.

Like seriously this man is dead, how did you even get in here??

Tablet talking tiiiime.

Your chocolate for him is shaped like a gaming controller.

Lowkey thinks its kinda cool that you shaped it to look like that.

You can see his hair turn pink at the ends.

Although he does mock you a little by saying it doesn’t look any gaming controllers he has ever seen, but a noob like you wouldn’t know that.

Surprisingly judgmental about the taste (he has brands he favours) but is pleasantly surprised by the taste.

He would welcome more chocolate if you wanted to give it, but next time… Maybe shoot him a text first so he can arrange a pick up?

Ortho

Ortho can’t eat chocolate but he does get an extra special hug for helping you infiltrate your way into the Ignihyde dorm and into Idia’s bedroom!

You promised to play games with him soon as a reward for a job well done!

Diasomnia

Malleus

He’s absolutely reeling.

You had the guts to approach him and give him some chocolate? Such a brave child of man you are.

This is going in his hoard for sure.

Your chocolate for him is shaped like a gargoyle.

And yes, you included a building too so that you didn’t get a lecture on the difference between gargoyles and grotesques.

He’s delighted by this gift, he’s absolutely glowing.

Apologies, child of man, but he must depart immediately so he can ensure no harm comes to this precious gift.

The chocolate gargoyle, Briar Valley’s new national treasure.

Silver

How thoughtful of you to make him chocolate.

He doesn’t usually get to eat much chocolate, even if Lilia is constantly trying to offer him ‘chocolate’ that he has made.

So he’s really touched to get this little gift from you.

Your chocolate for him is shaped like a small bird.

He feels his heart warm, it reminds him of his little forest friends.

He wonders why it is a little melted, and is sad to find out what happened, but assures you that he thinks the chocolate still looks good.

He’ll compliment the taste too. He knows he doesn’t have the highest standards (again, growing up with Lilia), but he truly does think it tastes good!

Sebek

“HUMAN, IS THIS A GIFT FOR MALLEUS SAMA? THE GALL OF YOU, TO TRY AND CURRY FAVOUR WITH THE YOUNG MASTER…!”

Oh… It’s for him…?

You did it, you broke Sebek. You can actually see him buffering.

Your chocolate for him is shaped like a lightning bolt.

He blushes when you tell him its because his hair reminds you of lightning.

Will absolutely not comment on the fact that its melted. He’s a good boy really, it would be unacceptable to insult a gift he is receiving.

He will thank you, even if it sounds a little stiff.

He’s not used to receiving gifts outside his family, so this experience is quite new for him.

Lilia

Delighted.

Would you like to try some of his chocolate? He has the most intriguing recipes that he’s developed, come to the Diasomnia kitchen right now and he can whip you up a batch special…

Your chocolate for him is shaped like a bat.

He will give his signature chuckle and hold up the chocolate next to one of his bats for comparison.

His eyes would twinkle when he tells you “Why, I can hardly tell the difference!”

Another one who is surprisingly judgmental about the taste but more in a “this could do with some newt to really pump up the flavour” kind of way.

This old man has zero taste, take the fact that he’s complaining as a victory.

[coconutki]

Getou as bf (with a blk s/o)

Yuppp there’s nsfw at the end ‼️

- [ ] The sweetest honestly

- [ ] Thinks you’re a Angel (ur HIS Angel)

- [ ] Very interested in your hair and haircare routine + skincare

- [ ] He’ll definitely help u on wash day when you feel comfortable enough to have him all in ur hair (I have 4c I’d literally cry myself to sleep but I’d appreciate it)

- [ ] Or he’ll watch u while you do it yourself

- [ ] Loves the hair products you use cause they smell nice like fruits/ tropical stuff / fresh

- [ ] Will catch him playing with your curls and springing them

- [ ] Don’t let him catch you in a 40” inch buss down (or long braids) cause he might pull on it when y’all f-

- [ ] He loves all ur hairstyles tbh

- [ ] Y’all cook togetherrr a lott Ik y’all be throwing downn on holidays

- [ ] Anyone who looks at you weird gets a death stare forreal

- [ ] Gojo will fuck with u just to get a reaction out of geto *gone wrong*

- [ ] If you ever feel ugly..don’t cause he will be there and hype u up in his own way

- [ ] I don’t see him being a PDA person besides maybe holding hands or a quick peck when no one’s around

- [ ] Even if ur a non sorcerer idk he might just accept it cause you fine you sexy you cool *in 21 savage voice*

- [ ] He likes buying things for you then not saying anything. you’ll come home from a busy day and hours later notice something new and be like when did we get this??? And he’ll just smile at you and go about his business lol.

- [ ] He fr lovestruck asf might pretend he’s not at first

- [ ] Definitely would leave his shirt at ur place just so you could wear it and get your scent all over it before he takes it back

- [ ] Between me and you….he be sniffing it when ur not around don’t tell nobody

(Just imagined him sniffing the shirt like tsukiyama sniffing that handkerchief with kaneki’s blood on it 💀)

- [ ] “Need anything angel?”

- [ ] He will be behind you with his hands on your hips or sides while u cook

- [ ] Isn’t particularly clingy (like gojo) but loves your touch and your company

- [ ] I could see him kissing the nape of your neck so he can get your attention when he’s….yk

….

NSFW

….

- [ ] Slanging that MEAT STIC- my bad

- [ ] He will kiss on you a whole lott

- [ ] Might start stripping you at anyplace in the house.

- [ ] “must be hot with those clothes on”

- [ ] He would laugh when he says it but he’s looking at you like a Wendy’s 5 for 5 on a Saturday night.

- [ ] “You’re so gorgeous yk that? Come here.”

- [ ] He’s a bit prideful ngl but not so much that he won’t eat out the love of his life 💕

- [ ] Loves when you rough him up a bit while he’s doin it too

- [ ] He’s giving you immaculate back shots and he will put his fingers in your mouth while he’s doing it

- [ ] Mirror sex asf

- [ ] into hair pulling but ofc he won’t do it hard cause he know better than to make a mf bald 💀

- [ ] “What’s wrong? You were saying you could take it only a little while ago sweetheart~” he would whisper in that velvety voice as you pounds into your hole unrelentingly. His long fingers coated with your saliva while he forced you to watch your helpless expression in the mirror.

- [ ] he’s sure to make sure you can actually take him before he does anything Fr he’s real gentle and loving when y’all take it slowly or the first time y’all did it.

[babiebom]

Sdv Bachelor/ettes at a Thanksgiving Dinner

A/N:happy thanksgiving if you celebrate!! I don’t really celebrate but I do like to eat a lot and sleep all day :)

Tw:cursing/ some sus content/mention of drugs and alcohol(not hard drugs)/ death mention

Wc: I have no idea it’s headcanons lmao

Sdv Masterlist

Sebastian

Shows up to eat and leave

Does not like the spending time and emotional part

Would rather not say what he’s thankful for just please fill his plate so he can eat and sleep

Would probably be the older cousin that you rarely ever see during the year you only ever see him on holidays and for like 20 minutes at most.

Will be found in a room smoking it up.

Will offer you some weed

Will probably forget how old you are and if you’re underage would be like “oops don’t snitch/get out of here”

Is the first to say bye

No one even realizes when he leaves because his bye was so quick and quiet

Sam

Constantly laughing and having a good time

Like actually before the food is ready he is so energetic

Singing

Dancing

Telling jokes

He’s literally the life of the party, and will not hesitate to get up and dance to the music at all

Does drag you to dance with him

He is probably sibling or cousins best friend that they bring and you lowkey have a crush on.

Wants to help cook is not allowed

Also sleeps over for some reason

Shane

Somehow gets there early and is angry the entire time

He’s only early because he was anxious about being late and now he wishes he was home

Doesn’t really interact with anyone just sits on the couch and watches tv

Gets his plate and eats by himself

Would be the alcoholic uncle that is cool but also makes everything depressing

He’s not the partying type

Is amused and is nice to the kids

But like his face is just stoic the entire time

No one bothers him to keep the party mood going.

Elliott

Brings like a pie or something

Like he does make a dish to bring ALWAYS

Wants to make sure that he’s not just eating and taking up space

Talks to EVERYONE and is VERY like….poetic

It annoys the women how lovely he is

Everything turns into a deep discussion the second he starts drinking

Is probably like your aunts husband that she brags that she bagged while on vacation somewhere expensive

Harvey

Surprisingly doesn’t eat a lot

Like everyone thinks that he’s going to CHOW DOWN but he doesn’t

Does however take a nap immediately

Is on the couch and he is passed out, his tie is loose and his tummy is slightly out

Is the older cousin that everyone is proud of and compares you to because HES A DOCTOR and YOU ARENT

Doesn’t drink much either, he’s literally just so tired

The kids are lying on him because his body is comfortable and his mustache is funny

Absolutely does not notice it and allows them to be all over him because he’s napping anyways it doesn’t matter

Loves to talk to the kids about airplanes and really gets into detail

Is the one sleeping over

Alex

Is 100 percent outside with the kids playing sports

Forces the kids to play with him because everyone else is too old to want to play outside anymore

Sam probably plays with him ngl

Does not go easy on the kids at all

Like absolutely demolishes them in football.

Just because you’re a kid doesn’t mean shit you’re getting massacred on the field.

Is your older brother that thinks he’s super cool, is actually really nice

He eats a LOT and passes out right after.

Probably has sex with someone (not a family me never you FREAKS) upstairs in his room and doesn’t hide the fact

He’s just like heheheh then gets yelled at for being vulgur in front of everyone.

Penny

Probably the one who cooked/helped Emily cook

Is VERY proud of her desserts

Makes all of the sides and leaves the main courses to Emily

Gets super anxious about being around everyone and what they’re going to think about her food

Absolutely doesn’t experiment with food because of anyone dislikes anything she’s gonna have a breakdown.

I think she likes the cranberry sauce the most, puts it on her rolls

Eats more than people think she’s capable of

Somehow doesn’t nap after stuffing herself, gets some chores done instead and starts cleaning as things are starting to be empty.

Is probably the mom, and it’s her house that everyone is going to for the dinner.

Very annoyed that her house is a mess now but won’t say anything.

Lets people sleep over

Abigail

Girlfriend of someone in your family

You really can’t tell if she’s the girlfriend of a sibling or cousin or anyone

She just doesn’t elaborate

Like she’s like “oh I’m their girlfriend”

And you’re like ?????WHOS GIRLFRIEND???

and she walks away

Somehow knows your family well enough even though no one knows who’s girlfriend she is

Will also supply weed

Is high as fuck

Also sleeps over for some reason

Leah

Eats all the sweets

Like every single dessert there is is on her plate

Eats like a salad right before to offset it

Also to be able to say she actually ate food

Eats SO MUCH

She’s your uncles “wife”

Met him while on a retreat somewhere and they have been together for 20 years

Like your uncle is dead and she’s still around even though they never got married bc she’s literally just your aunt now

Brings the salad that she eats to say that she ate some food

It’s funny

Maru

Also eats SO MUCH

And she’s not self conscious at all

She’s next to the dining table at all times

She’s definitely your younger sister

Shows off her robots and stuff to the kids

Gets in trouble because her robot catches on fire(idk why she’s Spencer from icarly but she is now and I refuse to change it)

Also makes something for dinner but only a couple people actually eat it because she experimented and it’s weird

She is offered weed by someone’s friend and gets everyone yelled at.

Haley

Older sister that wants nothing to do with anyone

Brings her friend and they stay in her room the entire time gossiping

Comes down to get her and her friend a plate and returns to her room

You can hear laughing from her room if you listen closely

Is probably drunk up in her room

Ignores your parents pleads for her to spend time with the family

If she comes down she’s going to openly make fun of everyone

Also will flirt with you and your other siblings friends she absolutely doesn’t care

Take pictures though because in reality she does care just hates to show it

The pictures are very cute and she hangs them up in her room

Emily

Aunt that made the turkey and other main dishes

Will also make the effort to make something vegan or vegetarian for people who don’t eat animal products

Her food is surprisingly good like it’s so good that people will over stuff themself

Is the aunt that everyone is always around

Is on the dance floor with Sam and is not embarrassed at all

Also makes the animals something

Just a joy to be around

Brings Shane his plate

Chats away with Penny while cooking together because everything is fun for her

Loves the quality time together

She loves when everyone is in the same room

Is annoyed that there’s no thanksgiving music because she loves getting into the festive mood.

[loveephia]

hey lovely! I saw ur fluff prompts + HQ boys post so I wanted to request a few:

"Don't be stubborn, try it!" + Osamu Miya

"I can't get over how many months ago I wanted to learn your name and now you're having breakfast with me in my sweater"+ Osamu Miya

"No it's just like I can't believe your actually wearing my clothes" + Iwaizumi Hajime or Kuroo Tetsurou

"Your bed head is really cute" + Oikawa Tooru

"My friends/teammates get so annoyed by how much I talk about you sometimes" + Oikawa Tooru

"Shh stop fussing , I'm trying to braid your hair" + Sugawara Koshi

These are just some ideas if you wanted too write them ! Loving your writing btw <333

SWEET PIE | osamu miya

prompt: "don't be stubborn, try it!"

content: (🦷) tooth-rotting fluff, reader is a baker but she tries to actually cook for once, osamu is skeptical (of course), you're both married here timeskip.

⚠ warning/s: it's mentioned that reader hurts herself while cooking, but no in-depth detail of it actually happening. + manga spoilers.

note: ngl, it was hard to pick which prompt to do from the list you gave me, so i'll also do: "shhh.. stop fussing, i'm trying to braid your hair." with koushi sugawara in a separate post! ENJOY READING!!! :D

osamu miya came home to the aroma of food. not of your delightful pastries, but of curry. chicken katsu, to be exact. now, that doesn't happen very often (ever) because osamu was always the one who cooked dinner.

there's nothing wrong with you making dinner, of course, osamu just.. happened to remember that one time you brought him a seemingly innocent bento back in high school. one bite in, and he physically couldn't bring himself to take another!

osamu can still taste the clashing flavors of sweet, sour, spicy, bitter, and salty on the tip of his tongue. it came all at once, ever so brutally. he didn't even know that was possible..

ever since that incident, you focused on baking instead.

"oh! hi, 'samu. welcome home." you greeted him warmly from the kitchen. osamu's worries are immediately wiped away just from your little smile and apron that he simply can't get enough of.

"hey, hun." osamu replies, taking his shoes off and switches to the ones that are fit for his own home. he walked over to you and the.. mini mess you made on the kitchen counter. "what are ya cookin'?"

"don't be mad, but i made chicken katsu curry for dinner tonight! a- and i know you usually do the cooking, but i noticed how tired you've been from work lately, so i wanted to try and give you some rest.." you rambled. osamu found you so cute right now.

and.. you weren't wrong. far from it. the more people knew about osamu's restaurant, the busier he'd get. finding employees who could master the recipes right was difficult. finding employees who could treat the customers nicely was difficult. man, just keeping both eyes open at work was difficult!

"..you didn't haf'ta do all this." osamu mumbles.

"but i wanted to! it was the least i could do." you remarked, scooping some of the curry up in a tablespoon. "open up, 'samu."

osamu sweatdropped. "h- hold on—!"

"don't be stubborn, try it!" you said.

osamu looks at your determined face, then.. your fingers that held up the tablespoon. there were small cuts, probably from you trying to carefully slice the ingredients. you worked really hard for this, osamu can tell.

osamu mentally prepares himself before eating from the spoon. his eyes lit up. the flavor wasn't like last time. it wasn't suffocating, and there wasn't a clash.

"this.. is actually really good." osamu stated.

"were you expecting a repeat of history?" you asked, suspiciously squinting your eyes at your husband who whistled innocently to the side, avoiding any eye contact with you.

"come on, have some more faith in me..!" you whined at his reaction. osamu chuckles, pulling you close by the waist, "will do, hun."

© lowercase intended | loveephia

[meykeyii]

PPG art dump !

ive seen a very good round of ppg artists around here, specially the ppnkg stans WHICH I LOVE TO SEE,, and so i did a digging into my old art These are all art from 2019, back then i was into the amino's fandom and honestly I had such a blast, met some of the best peeps and was something that made up my childhood in general so i decided to share some of these ol memories, i wanna warn i was a cringe kid (a very happy one tho) and was a multishipper specially when it come to ppg x ppnkg,, idk what younger me was cooking ngl

I do wanna point out, my headcanons of the ppnkg progressevely shift as the years passed by, id take another stand of how i see them nowadays, as how far i would take these in account there's always things I change of their demeanor time to time, so it's hard for me to have something concrete to work with i really still love them to death, and i always loved to see people takes on them, well except the ones where theyd try to steal the rrb from the ppg,,,,they r too cool to be fighting over boys if you ask me (and prolly gay) shout out to @gkt-tummyaches ! I just LOVE LOVELOVE their headcanons and overall thoughts of, not just the powerpunk girls, but everyone, it fr has me on a chokehold,, i need REDESIGN ALL OF THEM even the rrb, i never gave them enough love?!??? I was too hook up with the ppnk to even take them into consideration, literally when i loved to watch their episodes appearance HELP but yea these are just some thoughts from lil ol me (i have more art but some make me gag so i rather not)

[halcyon-writings]

Moment of Repose

pairing: billy butcher/reader

notes/cw: none (save for butcher's bad habits /lh), after 84 years,,,, the request for anon is done. I am very sorry for the wait, the writer's block was really kicking my ass LMAO and ngl I liked the request bc lowkey it was challenging bc it was difficult to picture him as like,,, soft, when the man is quite literally the opposite, but I hope that it worked out

nav.

Billy Butcher is, in no way, soft. Edges that are far too sharp, too untrusting prevent such a thing. Trust that was hard to earn and easily lost at the drop of a hat did that to you. 

Billy Butcher is not soft. Something that even he insists upon, at least when pressed about it. He was cordial enough to those he worked with at best, and at worst, he would be downright vulgar to anyone else. 

So what made you different? Was it your relaxed demeanor? (In comparison to Butcher, anyone looked leagues calmer than he could ever be.) Was it the way you were practically unphased whenever he would slip into a string of curses when someone got on his nerves? Or was it the fact that you could read him like an open book? (No one said that last part out loud though, lest they risk his ire being directed at them.)

You supposed that the secret to seeing a soft or gentle facet of Billy Butcher was one that you would keep to yourself till the end of time. Or whatever other cliche bullshit he would say it was.

Such as right now, when Butcher basically running off of fumes and you had all but taken away his gun, any backup knives and blunt objects he kept on his person in case the gun failed, and his keys. Certainly, he could hotwire said car, seeing as how even a soft breeze could knock the thing over, but the image of your neutral face of displeasure made an uncomfortable feeling stir in his gut (it was that or the expired frozen dinner he ate, with him convincing himself that it was still good). Even with his protests, which were weak for the most part, Butcher was convinced to rest, or at least even take a nap under your watch.

So that left you to watch over the man as he slept for the first time in days, while everyone else in this little team of yours had taken that as an excuse for a free day.

M.M. had gone to see his daughter (and you slipped him some cash to get some flowers for his ex-wife but that was another secret of yours). Kimiko and Frenchie had decided to run errands, such as picking up things for actual food to cook rather than the frozen dinners Butcher would insist upon to “save” money, and you could only keep your fingers crossed that whatever damages that had appeared on the evening news were minimal at best. You cherished the pair dearly as friends, however, their penchant for chaos was unmatched. Finally, Hughie, you had guessed, had gone out on his own, sneaking off to see his date and you snickered as he stammered through an excuse.

“Just go on, you don’t wanna leave her waiting, do you?” A teasing bit to your voice makes the boyish man scramble up the steps and you hear the door to the shop open and shut in quick succession. 

So while Butcher snored away the afternoon, you had decided to read. Enjoying the silence that had come with most of the bases’ occupants being gone for the moment, occasionally interrupted by a snore here or there. 

Of course, you sometimes could not help but shift uncomfortably. With Butcher all but caging you in with his giant head on your lap, arms around your waist, you were at least glad you did not have to go to the bathroom yet. Despite your inner protests, you couldn’t help but feel a little pleased, who knew that Billy Butcher could be as soft and sweet during his sleep? 

Occasionally you reach down, smoothing the frown on his face so that he could at least relax again, his nose would twitch, and you curiously guess what he dreamed about. Maybe he had had some weird dream. Perhaps something ridiculous like Homelander actually being a responsible Supe. Or being right that eating an expired frozen dinner was the correct thing to do… maybe you should take him to urgent care for that. But then again if it took as much convincing as it did to get the man to rest his eyes for an hour or two, you would have to prepare the big guns. 

As you attempted to steer your focus back on the book in your hands, it was only a short moment that you could feel Butcher begin to stir. Well, it seemed that you could not get a chance to keep reading, as you use an old receipt like a makeshift bookmark. 

He sits up, groggy for a moment, you almost think it was cute if it weren’t for the kind of person he was.

“What day is it?”

“The same day that you took your nap,” You say helpfully. He curses. 

“Feel like shit…” Mumbling incoherently into his hands, almost like a bad hungover. 

“You kind of look it too,” You chirp, “But that’s what happens when you don’t get a proper amount of sleep.”

He sends you a sleepy glare, but there is no heat behind it. You reciprocate by giving him a bright smile. You expect him to stand up, getting back to whatever sort of chaos that would have Vought scramble for some PR recovery, instead, you’re pleasantly surprised when all he does is lay back down, this time using his signature jacket as a makeshift blanket. 

Once again, the silence is met with his snoring as he falls back into slumber. 

[spoilerqueen]

KUNG FU PANDA X WUXIA

K guys, have an idea here and i need some feedback if you know anything about wuxia, Xianxia or just a single danmei, y'know how Kung fu panda is actually based completely on not only Chinese culture but heavily inspired by the wuxia genre as well? You can even see the resemblance on some things, the qi being just like spiritual energy than CAN be stolen, like what happened with kai on KFP 3, the wuxi finger is basically a forced qi deviation, the power that you can cultivate by training, the way that oogway literally ascended to a heavenly realm as a god after years of cultivating spiritual energy, like we only needed Po to bleed from his mouth and we have literally everything for it to be an actual wuxia/xianxia story, so i was thinking, why not make a fan comic of the story of the movies as an actual wuxia/xianxia with human characters and a bit more blood and exaggeration????

You may be thinking "why tf would you want to do that with a kids movie" or even just "why?"

And my answers are: because i love Chinese fantasy and kung fu panda so i want to combine them further, and for the second question i would like to say that just because i want to...but that's not the case my fellow internet people... It is because the human versions of the furious five that i always come across on Pinterest i hate with a passion 🕴🏻

Not to say anything bad about the artists skills or to bash their designs at all, but i would love it if people weren't so forgetful about the fact the furious five are you know... Chinese I feel like people isn't taking advantage of that culture at all

And not only Chinese, we're talking about historical periods of old china were no one was allowed to cut their hair or show skin below the neck

Like why would po wear a tiny shirt? Why would po be bald? Why would monkey be black? (It kinda rubs me the wrong way how some people make specifically monkey the only dark skinned character i think it reads racist ngl 🤨) Why would tigress have a pixie cut? Why would viper show so much skin when she's the daughter of a respectable warrior and would basically be very close to being a princess? Like- things like that are completely fine, nothing wrong to the vision they have on the characters, but to the neurodivergent hyperfixating me, the fact that no one overanalizes anything about this kids movie about a panda eating dumplings is outrageous, it's not them, it's me 😔✊🏻

SO

I've spent a few months organizing ideas on how i believe a more wuxia/Xianxia design of the characters would look like

I've been trying to keep the design closer to the animals they supposedly are but it's kinda hard (◎_◎;)

For Po i keept his body shape and decided a bun or any kind of high hairstyle would be ideal for him since he was a cook and still cooks a lot, a ponytail or half up hairstyle would get on his way a lot. I decided to give him vitiligo to mimic the panda spots on his original design, crashing his weight, height and skin to add the unique factor that was present on the movie by him being the only panda on the valley, He's the only one I've actually drawn yet but it is still in development

For tigress or however tf you spell it, English isn't my first language. I decided to go for a sharp and serious look

To keep it simple, I'll be giving her a light brown shade of hair, i want to avoid giving them vibrant hair colors but still having some nods to their color pallets on the movies, giving her an almost reddish light brown hair and mostly red and orange robes with black accents and accessories as well keeping her original outfit with a few changes. I wanted to give her a ponytail since i don't feel like she'd put all of her hair up; and instead of claws, she will have a variety of knives at her disposal for battle

Next, for viper, my favorite gal

I wanted to make her look significantly more elegant and younger that the rest of the five since, like i said, she is from a prestigious family, i wanted to accentuate how pampered a girl from a good family could look, i also decided to keep her ribbon dance plot, the only reason to why i gave her arms, since i love the idea of her fighting with her legs but that ribbon dance so i decided to give her congenital hand differences as her disability, turning the "her family uses fangs to attack and she was born without them" to "her family uses pressure points to attack and she was born with mostly dysfunctional fingers", this way she would still be considered an exceptional warrior with ribbons that she can control with her wrists and arms. I also want to give her a really really dark forest green colored hair :D

M O N K E Y

For monkey i wanted to go for a little more adult vibe as well as for mantis; i wanted to give him some scruffiness since he started out as a prankster until oogway found him...yeah that family friendly story isn't going to work, let's face it, monkey was living in the streets stealing what he could for fun, my man was a criminal and homeless, he wasn't a good person and even po said so while telling his story to the kids, so, I gave him a style that would resemble someone who once was carefree and from a low social position that still doesn't care much about material things, but cares enough to not disappoint or dishonor his masters. I will be giving him a more yellow and light brown wardrobe to resemble his colors on the movie and as for attack, he'll use a long cane like he sometimes does in the canon

Now for crane (≧∇≦)/

Crane is very simple to imagine as a human so there's not much i can say about his design other than the fans, i decided to give him a pair of fans as weapons, using them to cut down enemies as if they were blades and also to give him the stability to fly, since i won't take away his ability to fly as it is something common on wuxia and or xianxia stories, i like to think he is the only one who trained this flying technique by watching real disciples on temples he'd clean, but still needs his fans for stability and to be able to carry and support the weight of multiple people hanging onto him

LASTLY ~mantis~

The mature vibes~ i wanted to keep him looking a bit more like a warrior since that was his job before training under shifu's roof, he had a reputation and prestige, so i thought he might look a bit more professional; I'll also give him green robes but i haven't decided if he'd use a weapon or not 🤔 I'm also keeping him a short king

So, what do you guys think? Should i go more bold with the designs? Have any feedback or opinions? Because I'd love to hear it! (≧∇≦)/

I'm prepared for this post to flop so bad omg

[goosegoblin]

I am graduating college/university in a couple weeks and I am so scared of everything changing and life becoming dull and lonely and monotonous. My friends who are older have told me it sucks. Would really appreciate any positive words of wisdom or advice or even white lies!!!

hey buddy!!

so i'm not you and you're not me, so i can't 100% promise you anything - the big disclaimer here is that i rather like life being dull AND i did not really like uni lmao, so that might change my stance on things- but holy shit I like not being at uni so much! I like it so much!

i do work and then i'm done with work and i don't have to worry or feel guilty about not revising/ studying! i earn money and then i can spend money on things i want! i have time to figure out who i am and what i like and want without the constant worrying background noise of I Have An Exam Coming Up or I Have To Get This Grade or What Module Do I Pick Next.

i think social things can get a bit harder, but i'm honestly still only close to one person i met at uni (i married him, so that's convenient). the rest of my friends are from work, friends or friends, or similar. i found it way easier to make friends through work than to make them through uni.

when you leave uni/ college you also get a sense of being an adult in a way you didn't before? i think uni is like, a nice transitionary period in that way. you get a lot more freedom but you're also ultimately A Big Kid who can Get In Trouble. you cannot Get In Trouble now. if you don't like your job you can hit da bricks! you don't have to be Grateful For Opportunities or any shit like that- you're an adult, and you are an equal.

as for it getting monotonous, that's kind of totally up to you. i'm not going to act like things like money and location aren't huge huge parts of this- if you have to work long hours to afford rent, it's going to be hard to find the time or motivation to take part in hobbies- but you are also the captain of your own life and now that you are more of an Adult you have more freedom to get weird in any way you want. i am, once again, a very boring person, but since leaving uni i've gotten more into gaming, DM'd a few DnD campaigns, hosted some quiz nights, developed my cooking skills, picked up various hobbies for various durations of time, etc. one of my friends goes salsa dancing weekly and goes to furry cons. another one of my friends loves japan and technology. you can do whatever you want forever.

the change is scary, granted, but change is always scary. that's how we grow, baby!

also my mental health is one trillion times better not being at uni, and the same goes for everyone i've met ngl

[yowyowyaoi]

Konan’s Daily Texts from the Akatsuki

From Zetsu

If I keep the bodies OUTSIDE is it a problem then??

Rather angelic-looking with the paper wings.

A 72-hour gengetsu just because he thought I was going to eat it?! Cat isn’t even my favorite meat!

Ah but you’re much more diplomatic in handling their complaints.

I’ve tried but you absolutely cannot reason with him when it comes to money.

It may be time to change hideouts soon, the two young ones have attracted too much negative attention here.

From Itachi

It was so good, thank you!

I appreciate the touch of color.

Kisame’s not here Kakuzu said he’d charge me and Deidara laughed. You are my last hope. PLEASE come and KILL THIS SPIDER 😓

Please come with I know you’d enjoy yourself.

The last time I rode on one he made it do a flip mid-air and I almost fell into the ocean. And he laughed so hard he threw up 😒

Define “too much” cake 🤔

He helped suppress the coughing but fever’s still pretty high.

I can take them in small doses. 

From Sasori

Don’t worry, an issue like that is almost child’s play to correct surgically.

You’re one of the few that I DO trust, my dear.

I’ll give it back when I decide he’s not as annoying anymore.

If I could eat I’m sure that would be delicious.

I love him more than anything but that arrogant brat can never actually KNOW how much I do.

Put a few drops in your tea, you’ll sleep like a baby.

You and Nagato should really raise the standards for whom you decide to recruit into this organization.

Please accompany me; I’m sure you’d love the wildflowers.

You either move his room down the hall or he’s becoming my next puppet.

From Kakuzu

I understand but we can’t afford it at the moment. Those three will just have to bunk together for the time being.

Thank you, my dear.

Harsh BUT it saved us hundreds.

Never anyone who didn’t fully deserve it.

Trust me, in the long run it’s a good investment.

Sasori may be better suited to treat that than myself.

I’ll speak to him about it but it’s like talking to a wall.

Purely an accident. A needed one, but still.

If they do it again I’m decapitating them both.

From Deidara

I mean I never have, but if I did, she couldn’t be anyone but YOU 💛

Omg Omg OMG I HAVE DIRT ON HIDAN YOU NEED TO HEAR!!

We were sword fighting! Shit I didn’t know that was Leader’s cane 😣

We can both make birds. Paper and clay. 

Idk I mean I kinda think that he likes me or something but I’m with Sasori so 🤷🏼‍♂️

My eyes feel fucked. I tried on Uchiha’s glasses, that bastard is BLIND af! I didn’t even think they could make lenses that strong!

Come with us fishing I swear you’ll have fun! I’ll bait your hook so you don’t gotta touch the worms 😁

I’m not sure but I bet a C3 would solve the problem.

He stuffed half a roll of toilet paper in there and flushed. He thought it’d be funny.

From Kisame

There’s no way you’re going alone. I’ll come with you.

My thanks. Samehada appreciates such treats.

Woman or not you’re quite strong aren’t you?

No need to cook mine at all. I prefer raw.

I could teach you if you wish. It’s a good skill to have.

Please join us for tea?

It’s outside your door. Thank you again.

Zetsu got to him first 😤

Itachi isn’t feeling up to it. Would you care to accompany me? The moon makes it very bright.

From Tobi

He bit me first!

Kisame ate them because he said he wanted a snack 😔

He DOES love me he just doesn’t know it yet!

Wanna see the spider I found in the garden?

I borrowed your lotion and i accidentally used it all 😓

Game night game night GAME NIGHT!!!

Blue. Like Senpai’s eyes 😌

Can I lick the spoon when it’s done?

No I saw Kakuzu kill him three days ago 

From Hidan

Yeah but my intentions were good for once!

Pls come show me how to do this I keep burning it 😓

Oh yeah I forgot … haha don’t freak out I’ll replace it 

You wanna come with? I bet you’d be great at it!

Tell him he can suck my dick, I ain’t doing that 🤷‍♂️

We’re gonna loot it, I’ll bring you back something cool!

Ngl you’d look HOT with my scythe 😍

I’ll beat that skinny twink’s ass 😤

Yeah but like he’s skin and bones that’s just kinda creepy 

I guarantee if you just listen to ONE sermon you’ll convert!

From Nagato

The prettiest thing you could ever wear is that gorgeous smile of yours ❤️

Well it’s far too late to replace them so I suppose we just have to deal.

Are you joking? Yahiko would have killed me!

Should have been a dating service and not a criminal organization, eh? 😂

Sasori said it would help ease the pain for when I’m standing.

Woke up today thinking of Chibi. I miss him 😞

No but if you come sit on my lap I bet I could make it better 😉

What about the others? Do they seem happy with it?

If I never see another drop of rain for as long as I live I’ll die a happy man.

My God how do you manage them?! I had to talk to Deidara and Hidan by myself and I thought I would kill them after the first two minutes!

I don’t care. You’re beautiful no matter what. 

Well we could always say we’ve disbanded the group, turn them loose, then hunt them for sport 😊

[luckykittysshowerthoughts]

ngl ur last post abt mike and sol kinda makes me ship them

I wouldn't say I ship them, but I think they have the potential for a very interesting dynamic that I'm looking forward to being expanded upon in later chapters. I suppose this is as good a chance as any to summarize what I've gleaned from both games so far- I think y'all know by now just how much I like talking about Mikey.

Fair warning, there will be spoilers up ahead, for both the third season of the OG game and the first season of Nightbringer. I'll remain as vague as I can while still getting the point across, but they're rather large spoilers.

Solomon and Michael's Relationship

(The Impromptu Essay)

In Nightbringer, it seems like Michael has a similar relationship to Solomon that Nightbringer does- in terms of being a high-status being much more powerful than Solomon himself, who grants Solomon certain favors and protections and watching over him in a way.

For one, he gave Solomon the Ring of Wisdom, which as essentially the twin to the Ring of Light is likely very important to Michael. A few lines of dialogue in the OG game also imply that Michael cleaning up after Solomon's messes is a rather regular occurrence.

Speaking of those lines of dialogue... I think one of the most telling scenes about their relationship was the brief, one-sided conversation Michael had with MC in the OG game, after fixing a little (big) magic fiasco related to Solomon's cooking. Now, disclaimer, this scene is technically ambiguous, but "???" on a blinding light background seems pretty safe to assume as Michael considering the other times we've had this.

"He's a truly decent human with a good head on his shoulders, but sometimes he can be more troublesome than the demons."

The first thing Michael (or, who we can assume to be Michael) says here is essentially defending Solomon's character. This is clearly someone he knows personally, and to some degree trusts if he's willing to give him benefit of the doubt like this. That said, he's clearly exasperated. A real "god damnit, Solomon" moment.

"He acts as though he understands his own power, but he doesn't. Which is why his strange fascination with cooking of all things causes me no end of..."

This is the line I was talking about, that implied that Michael cleaning up after Solomon is a semi-regular occurrence. It definitely seems like this isn't the first time Michael has dealt with something like this from Solomon. And if it's affecting him personally like this, it's clearly something he feels some level of responsibility over.

Solomon and his antics clearly aren't insignificant to him. And from the looks of things, they haven't been for a long time- just a little while prior to this scene, a pre-fall Lucifer states that Michael has taken an interest in "a human sorcerer", implying this dynamic between the two of them started before Lucifer fell.

All in all... Solomon is someone that Michael on some level respects and trusts, but also a royal pain in the ass to look after. Which was the basis of that original post.

Now, with the groundwork of their canon relationship and the cold hard evidence out of the way, this is where I'm going to start getting into speculative (and semicoherent rambling) territory.

I think Michael and Solomon create an interesting mix of personalities. While Michael appears to be "the responsible one" of the relationship, he's constantly cleaning up after Solomon after all, I wouldn't exactly say he's a responsible person in his own right. At the end of the first season of Nightbringer, we see he has a tendency to deflect any conversation he doesn't like and literally run away from his problems. We also see throughout Nightbringer that Michael likes playing some major mind games to get what he wants, often with clear disregard for other people. He seems to be most comfortable playing 4d chess with people from a distance to avoid having to confront his feelings directly. He's manipulative and mischievous in order to cover up deep-seated feelings of loneliness- something Solomon can very much relate to.

I feel like Solomon would be one of the few who has the patience for Michael's mind games. Solomon isn't above these kinds of games himself, after all- it takes one to know one. Puzzles are something that fascinate Solomon, and let's face it he needs the intellectual stimulation. He's just as bored and lonely as Michael is. Enough that he just might toy with him right back.

Solomon is also quick-witted and observant enough to be able to tell when Michael is trying to deflect things or pull a fast one, and call him out on it- which, honestly, might be for Michael's own good at this point. Somebody needs to tell this man no, and somehow I don't think any of the angels underneath him are going to do it. Speaking of which...

Solomon also seems to have a unique take on authority when compared to basically any other character. While most characters- angels especially, including former angels like Lucifer- view things very hierarchically, Solomon doesn't seem to see things this way. He has no problem sassing Nightbringer and calling him out on things, despite Nightbringer having a clear position of power over him and it essentially being biting the hand that feeds you. Solomon could very well be the one person with the nerve to treat Michael as an equal. Which creates a very interesting dynamic.

All in all, I'm very excited to see where Solomon and Michael's relationship goes. I mean, I'm excited to see more of Michael at all, but I think these two especially are a real point of interest.

[dreamii-yume]

Hello! ♥︎

I am BACK with another underrated Japanese Yandere Audio Drama ASMR recommendation for y’all~! Because this is all I’ve been doing in my spare time, I have no goddamn excuses on why I haven’t been posting much 🤡 This, my friends, is the reason why I’m so damn inactive these days lol BUT HEY—Please don’t go 🥺 This one is a real fucking gem, Darlings—I don’t understand why it has so little views on Youtube because it has everything I wanted in my hornii. There’s the plot, the smut (It’s not very explicit as to a full-on fucking, because Youtube—Just a few lewd lip sounds, that’s all 🫣 But that’s all I needed to get the neurons working) and there’s kinda some angst in there(?)

Anyway, it’s an hour-long! 🧎‍♀️ I was so happy after I was done listening to it and kinda speechless ngl ☠️ I dug hard for this gem and I’m not about to gatekeep anyone from finding it and sharing the experience (dont ask how i stumbled upon this one though, you dont wanna know how much ive been scrolling on youtube to find this, my friends 🧎‍♀️)

It’s a Yandere Audio Drama that is simply titled “Nya-chan” 🫣 Ominously adorable title, but it’ll make sense as you listened to it. As always, it doesn’t have an english translation as of now which is extremely unfortunate because I think a lot of people would’ve appreciated this more if it does—BUT THAT’S WHY IM HERE EVERYONE 👀👋

So, if you don’t mind—Allow me to spoil you all with what happened with a “brief” summary of it all ♥︎ (EDIT : THIS IS A LIE IVE BEEN WRITING THIS FOR TWO HOURS) BUT I STILL WANT YOU TO LISTEN TO THIS ART PERSONALLY, the voice actor really did a great job with it 😭 check them out, seriously.

Warning : Implied Non-Con | Implied Dub-Con | Implied Stockholm Syndrome | NTR

Kinda got way too into “translating”/“explaining” this one scene by scene so—It’s very chaotic, so that might get annoying so just a heads up lol

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

The story starts off with You (The listener UwU) meeting your fiance’s little brother for the first time and because you want to be a good future Sister-in-Law, you wanted to spend time and bond with him by partaking in his hobbies. He’s an engineer of some kind, and it seems like he’s a talented cook as well because when he found out that you’re hungry, he made you some pasta 🧎‍♀️You praised him, but he says you’re overreacting cause it’s just pasta lol he’s clearly embarrassed—He sounded like wanted to say something else (Probably wanting to cook more for you if you want ✨👀👉👈) but his brother comes in and interrupted him.

Under his breath, he says “Why does he have to be here of all times” which makes me think that this may not be the first time he knew of us…Or he just—y’know got attached that quick. (It really wasn’t specified 😭 or I might’ve just missed it somewhere 🤡) But ANYWAY, THE NEXT DAY—

You both met again, and he’s surprised that see you and where you work at because it’s close to his (?) You pointed out his office clothes, and he thought you were making fun of him, but was pleasantly surprised to hear you say that he looks good in it and he thanks you for it. Flustered, he changes the subject and ask where your fiance may be because he couldn’t get hold of him lately—It seems like he’s working overtime and he feels kinda bad that you’re going to eat dinner alone, so he sighs and invites you over to his place so he can make you something. He’s a real tsundere at this point of the audio drama, which was very cute lol But he seems like he has a soft-spot for you, because once he saw how you really look like you want to try his cooking again, he caved in quick lmao

At his home, he sarcastically praises your appetite and was impressed by the fact that you’re able to act so close woth him, despite only meeting for the few times lmao we have no shame. Your only reason was because you see him as you’re own younger brother too, and he only hums and scolds you more lol Even though he sounds like he’s all annoyed with you, he still encourages you to still eat more and stop complaining ☠️ He says he can guarantee the taste but plating is not his strongest forte lol

Then, he suddenly asks if you’re gonna contact your fiance anytime soon about this and it seems like you didn’t plan to do that—In which he scolds you again and say that you should, because he (your fiance) might think it’s weird. Again, you told him it’s fine because you’re only hanging out with him like how a big sister would with her younger brother…Here, we can hear that hint of disappointment in his voice as he whispers to himself, “…So you don’t see me as a man then.”

Of course, you didn’t quite hear what he says and asks if he can repeat that, but he says it’s nothing and went back to pressure you to continue eating because the food is getting cold.

After a while, you finally finished eating and he praises you for it…Also teasing you for looking so happy about it too along the way. He scolds you about learning how to cook for yourself sometimes, because you sound like you know what good food tastes like lol You told him that—Yeah, maybe from now on, in which he commented that you sound like someone prolonging their diet for tomorrow ☠️ and that’s the kind of person who usually don’t succeed on what they planned ☠️ someone calm this man down jesus christ, i did not to be called out like that ☠️ You asked him if he could teach you instead, but he refuses because he said he was self-taught and can’t teach for shit, so he tells you to learn it by yourself. Damn bro.

Then, this is where he shifts the conversation towards you instead—He asks where you and his brother met, in which you replied with the Cat Café he often visits and Yandere-kun doesn’t seem surprised lol His brother often invites him there, but he always refuses because he’s not good with crowds—Though he likes cats…AGAIN WITH THE WHISPERING he says “…If only I went with him at that time.” “Maybe I could’ve met you earlier than him.” BOI 👏

You asked him what he’s whispering about, and he denies saying anything like he always does and asked you to continue your love story with his brother. It seems like you met his brother when he was at his clumsiest, accidentally scaring a cat, and the cat made a mess, so you got angry with him. Because of that, you both met a second time for him to help you clean up, and things escalated from there—

Idk, Yandere-kun keeps saying wow that sounds like something out a manga—All sounds like he’s impressed and shit but I have a feeling that he’s so annoyed somehow lmao He sounds dead inside ☠️ He says something about it all probably being a “miracle of love” lmao He sounds so insulting about it 🧎‍♀️

He asks why you fell in love with his brother, like what’s so good about him? And you answered “The way he seems so silly, but is actually very reliable” or something—and somehow, he knew and understood that it had to be that reason too because he, too, knew what his brother’s strongest point is…Though, he didn’t know that girls likes those kinds of men too. He proceeds to slander you for having simple tastes ☠️ lmao

The conversation then starts to shift towards himself as he slowly begins to reveal how he feels inferior compared to him—Since his brother seems to have everything, while he’s just there on the shadows. You took notice of this and assured him that, at the very least, he’s still very kind. He’s flustered, embarrassed, scratches his head as he appreciates you for saying that.

…But HOO BOI THIS IS WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING—You then asked something about him, wondering if he, too, has someone he likes romantically. He was surprised to hear that actually, hesitates, but turns serious and says, “Yes…Yes, I do have one.”

“She’s very bright, kind, and a handful. She’s older than me, but so unreliable that I just can’t leave her alone.” He sounds incredibly embarrassed. “She eats the food I make with a big smile on her face…and it makes me really happy.”

But he suddenly sounds solemn. “…But that person is getting married next month, and I’m still in shock.” He laughs a little, but he sounds so sad 🥺 “I kept thinking, why is it not me? Maybe if I have met her earlier, maybe that could’ve been me by her side.”

“Why do I have to meet her when it’s all too late…? It’s really unfair.” 🥲

“But you know what’s worse?” He starts getting a little weird like he just fucking gave up on trying to hide his feelings lmao “The one that, that person is getting married to…is actually my own older brother. So, I don’t know what to do about that.”

OF COURSE, THAT SOUNDS SUS AF so, as an act of defending yourself against the awkwardness, you stood up from your seat and about to fuck off to oblivion, when he stops you like “Wait, hold up—Please, don’t leave 🥺” He admits that he was frustrated on the fact that people view you and your fiance as this sort of “fated couple”, and it makes him sick. It feels like his brother got something he wanted and once again, he lost. Yandere-kun admits that he doesn’t have that many friends, nor does he have a girlfriend himself, so it’s always his brother who gets all the attention. The expectation that was supposed to be his was given to his brother himself, so he hated how it’s happening again with you this time…and it feels like the universe is forcing him to give up on everything for his brother.

“…But why do you have to be so nice to me?“ It turns out he was actually trying to give up on pursuing you too, but it hurts because he doesn’t want to—Since you’re so nice to him, you spend time with him, and had praised him more than anyone has…But you only see him as a younger brother and not as a man. He felt like you asking if he has anyone he likes was the final straw, and he couldn’t help but laugh. He comments how insensitive you are 😭 Like having no self-awareness and all that shit man

But he knew that you were only trying to bond with him only because you want to have a good, healthy relationship with your soon-to-be Brother-in-Law…But that’s when he finally snaps and how that’s never gonna happen, “From the very first time we met, I’ve only seen you as a woman more than anyone else.” So, he will never see you as just Sister-in-Law, he loves you too much.

He was surprised himself to know how weak he actually is, because just thinking of you was this fucking painful and he’s pissed that he can’t even help himself…and embraces you, finally being able to touch you freely, and commenting on how nice you smell like.

“Hey…How do you think I can be freed from this pain?“ “How do you think am I supposed to give up on you?” Because he doesn’t want to give up on you, he wants you to fall in love with him as well and asks if that’s really such a bad thing.

Perhaps a little freaked out, you began to call your fiance’s name instinctively but he scolds you, “Please…don’t call anyone’s name but mine right now.” AND FUCKING SOFT KISSES YOU. He demands you to say his name, and when you hesitantly did—He’s on cloud-nine, asks you to repeat it again and again, and again as he KISSES YOU EVERYTIME.

“I can’t…I can’t take it anymore, come here.”

You obviously resists as he takes you somewhere, and he 😭 kinda politely asks you to stop struggling because he doesn’t want to be rough with you lmao He wants you to listen to him as he continues to force you to make-out with him (with slightly aggressive moaning, mind you ☠️) and keeps on obsessively (desperately) telling you that he loves you as if that shit was going to change anything lol but well—who knows 👀 foreshadowing, am i right Also he tells you that you shouldn’t hold your voice because he wants to ｈｅａｒyou loud and clear, so just keep on paying attention to him and he’ll make you feel good ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

THEN THE AUDIO FADES BECAUSE YOUTUBE 🫠 But it’s assumed that whether it’s forcefully (which is VERY MUCH likely lol) or not, he manages to get his way with you through the night 🧎‍♀️Mfcker even has the audacity to ask for permission, but I don’t think he would’ve cared if you had said no lmao ☠️

The next day (?) comes, or maybe it’s still night idk it’s not really specified BUT AFTER SEGGSY SESSION, he asks if it hurt (BITCH)—He proceeded to apologize, like seriously apologized🧎‍♀️Even he didn’t know why he resorted to forcefully taking you, despite knowing that it’s wrong. But whenever he thinks about how you’re going to be his brother’s wife soon, all he sees is red…He keeps apologizing and says he really doesn’t mean it and understands if you won’t be able to forgive him anytime soon.

…Perhaps you were guilty about the fact that you unknowingly lead his feelings on by being close to him too, you apogized in which he denies immediately—Saying you didn’t do anything wrong, and that everything is on him.

To compensate, you suggested to just simply forget everything that happened until now—But Yandere-kun doesn’t quite agree with that solution. “…Am I supposed to just forget about something that made me so happy?” He says he can’t do that, but realizes that he was being selfish again and apologized as he begrudingly agreed to do just that. “I guess it’s better than you reporting me to the police.” He said, it’s the least that he can do.

“I’ll…I’ll forget about what happened…Definitely. But just for this moment, will you stay with me?” You somehow agreed, and he hugs you tight—Whispering yet another apology.

Some time later after what happened, I guess…Oh, and it’s getting closer to your wedding day PFFT He calls you through the phone, and he was surprised that you answered—He’s sorry for calling you, but he says his brother is at his place and has something he needed your help with, so he asks if you want to eat lunch with them…But he understands if you don’t want to, since it’ll be awkward with him there after what happened. But you agreed anyway, “Are you sure?” He asks, but says he’ll be waiting for you then eventually.

He welcomes you to his home, and it’s not really explained here—But you were surprised to see him, maybe because he looks horribly depressed 😭 He tells you to just go inside and sit your ass down lol You ask where your brother is and he says he went to the convenience store to buy something and he’ll be back soon (doubt) and AGAIN he apologizes for what happened between the two of you, which makes me think that he’s really reflecting on his actions and I’m just being a little bitch about it ☠️ He said he’s gotten better at controlling his feelings now, and swears to you that it won’t happen again (DOUBT)

You assured him, and he finally sounds happy omg He admits that he was sad the past few days because he thought you won’t be able to talk to him again—But seeing you right now, talking to him, and reassuring him made him so glad that he’s wrong 🥹 He’s very grateful and you jokingly tell him he sounds strange compared to before.

He kinda agrees with that and admits that he loved you too much before, and every time he remembers the things he says and did, it made him incredibly embarrassed lol Though he feels better now, since he doesn’t usually have this kind of gloomy personality, so he’s fine now 🙃

…He then suggests to play a game, while waiting for his brother to come back 🙃 A very simple, easy game 🙃 Just close your eyes, hold out both your arms, listen to what he’s saying, and focus which hand is holding yours—Left or right 🙃 Ｓｉｍｐｌｅ，　ｒｉｇｈｔ？ 🙃

If you win, he’ll congratulate you on your wedding—Buy you whatever present you want…”What if you win?” You asked🧎‍♀️And this mfcker just went “What? Don’t tell me you’re worried that I’m gonna make you do something weird or something?” He laughs and strictly told you to just close your eyes alreadg lol He keeps praising you like you’re a kid and assures you that he’s moved on 🙃 So you don’t have to worry anymore 🙃 That from now on, he’s going to be your little brother like you always wanted 🙃 and it’s not like he’ll be able to do anything weird when his brother can come home anytime lol

The amount of (doubt) I had was immaculate when listening to this for the first time, darlings—Can you tell ☠️ He says if he won…He’ll let you cook dinner next time, cause he’s sick of always being in-charge of the cooking and wants to try your cooking this time.

So, then the game begins…Or not lol He’s still preparing, and the first thing he does? Obviously—Gets as close as he possibly can towards your right ear because it’s “necessary” lmao This man ain’t slick ☠️ Obviously, you’re a bit uncomfortable with that, but he says that if you give up now before anything has even started, you won’t get a wedding present from him lol “Don’t worry, it only tickles at the start. You’ll get used to it soon.” AND THEN THE GAME ACTUALLY BEGINS LMAO ARE YOU READY???

Close your eyes, repeats the rules about your hands and he—He begins to fucking BLOW on your ears ☠️ This was fucking tingly af ngl, not something to listen to whilst the dead of the night because it’s actually relaxing af jesus christ…ANYWAY, HE’S SEDUCING YOU BTW.

He bites, sucks, and licks on your ear, encouraging your body temperature to go up and proceeds to ｇａｓｌｉｇｈｔ you into thinking that there’s ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong nor suggestive with what he’s doing, nu-uh 🫠🫠 It’s all part of the challenge of the game, he says and your ears are just sensitive lmao He commentates on what he’s doing too omg “My tongue is going deep inside your ear.” EAR PORN HITS DIFFERENT NOW, DOESNT IT ☠️

This sussy moment continues on for the next few minutes—But like, as it’s happening, you can hear some really…ominous sounds of something shuffling in the background like someone rummaging for something and like ??? Obviously you’re curious and FINALLY—He asks which hand is holding yours right now…You answered correctly, and he proudly tells you to open your eyes for a job well-done and BOOM.

You’ve been handcuffed 🤡

He cut off every sensory you could possibly have at that moment just to distract you from noticing what he was doing. “I tricked you? No, that was all part of the game.” You probably started raising your voice, but he shushes you—Telling you to shut up, because he’s going to make you feel good again ☠️ GETS ME EVERY TIME GODDAMN IT LMAO Ladies, remember that all men do is lie 😔 (sigh)

He sounds WAY different than who he was before, which makes me think that he was only acting weak, because he sounds assertive now as he drills lewd words right into your head. “Who’s in front of you right now? Say my name.” But you call for help, called your fiance’s name instead. He shushes you gently and corrects your mistake…but asks you again, “Who’s touching you right now? It’s me, isn’t it?”

Maybe you didn’t answer, to scared to say anything—So, he reassures you by instilling you with his own twisted logic : “Don’t worry too much about my brother.” He says, like the devil on your shoulder. “You haven’t been officially married yet, so it’s fine. You’re not doing anything wrong.”

“You, me, or my brother. We’re not doing anything wrong.” He says, he sounds like he has a smile on his face as he continues to brainwash you into doing the wrong thing. “…So, say my name. Look at me and only me, because you’re the only one I can see.”

“Fall in love with me.”

“It’s fine. You’re not doing anything wrong.”

“Nothing at all.”

He kisses you a few more times, to give further validity with what he’s saying and at this point, I think you’re slowly giving up—Because there’s really nothing else you can do but accept it. He convinces you that his kisses feels good, and that you loved being kissed with tongue—and with your feeble, slowly-getting-fucked-out mind, you begin to agree with everything he says. So, he promises you that he can make you feel even better.

“I’ll always be with you.” He says, which had you confused—So, he states the obvious, “Because I’m going to be with you forever.”

“Aren’t you happy that there’s someone in this world who loves you as much as I do?”

He suggest for the two of you to “Do it” again—Your losing your focus, so he had successfully convinced you into saying that you want to do it too…He tells you that he’s happy that you’re thinking that way ♥︎

🫣🫣🫣

WE’RE ALMOST TO THE END GUYS PLEASE BEAR WITH ME, THIS IS AN HOUR-LONG AUDIO DRAMA BUT ITS SO GOOD.

After sexy time, the term “Nya-chan” has finally been addressed for the first time and it seems like while y’all we’re fucking, he was calling you that all this time. He wonders why he was calling you that too—But he guessed that it’s because he had always seen you as a little selfish-bratty cat whenever you’re eating the food he makes, so he just ended up calling you “Nya” as a nickname…Nya as in the Meow in Cat

He likes it, it feels special because he’s the only one who can call you that—He repeats it over and over again and asks if he can call you that from now on. You agreed, so I guess that’s your name from now on, Darling ♥︎👋 Nya-chan 😺 He feels so happy calling you that, it’s so special to him that he begins to cry—He loves Nya too much🧎‍♀️

(My typing hand is dying)

The next day—Someone is calling him and tells you to stay put. It’s his workplace, it seems like they need him for something despite the fact that it’s his day-off lmao somethings never change huh 😭 He’ll still go, but then he notices that you’re now standing in front of the entrance door, and he asks you if you’re going somwhere…But you don’t you say anything, so he figured that you might’ve been too afraid to stay here all by yourself…He steps closer to you, apologized for not noticing your worries earlier—But like, “I was so happy when you told me that you’ll stay with me forever, so I just trusted that you won’t leave.”

“Sorry, have you come to hate me now?” He starts to get a little unhinged, like you triggered something in him, which quite frankly means—That he’s becoming scary again ☠️ “…Hey, did I do something wrong?”

“You’re not…trying to run away, are you?” He steps REALLY close, those footsteps sounds heavy and the little laugh on his voice—Like you just said something really ridiculous and shows that he’s a little pissed 🧎‍♀️Dear God… “Let’s have a little talk, shall we?“

And he slams you to the fucking wall.

“…That’s not it, right? You’re not trying to run away, right? You understand that, right?” He bombards you with questions that I don’t even think you’re answering because he’s already convincing himself that you won’t run away, because you love him, yknow? Why would you even think of something like that lol—Like the little delusional man he is ☠️ He says he’s sorry for being suspicious, he’s just worried for his little Nya and that’s on him. You never know what’s out there.

“I’m so, so goddamn worried that I might lose it once I imagine what will happen to you if you leave this room, Nya.” He’s sounding more and more deranged. “Hey, you’ll understand that, won’t you? WONT YOU?”

He kisses you once again to prove how much he loves and cares about you, but goddamn he’s as yandere as one can get because even I’m scared of how twisted this man’s bipolar-ass kind of love ☠️ He continues to tell you all the things he’s scared of happening when you get out, like when another weird man comes in to sweep you off by the feet and he doesn’t want that 😭 It’s like this man just completely erased the fact that you and his brother are engaged and would actually be getting married in a few days lol Guess that ain’t happening anytime soon now ☠️

“Nya wouldn’t want that to happen to you too, right?“ He baby-talks you, plays with your mind and using this kind of manipulative-guilt-tripping shit going on. He even goes threatning her by saying how even he won’t be able to touch her again if you’ve become tainted by others—And in turn, no one will. So, he scares you into understanding his forceful and terrifying logic…And he’s satisfied with what you become.

He apologizes for being rough before, for almost giving you a goddamn concussion lmao Because damn he’s well-aware that he’s losing his mind, and the fact that you’re the only saving grace he has, he will do his damn best to keep you by his side—Whatever means necessary.

Another time-skip has passed—The next day came and he whispers good morning to you as you’re still chained down on the bed. He apologizes for it being tight (your wrists are probably fucked ngl) so, he’ll loosen them up a little but make sure you don’t run away, okay 👁👁 He’ll be looking at you through the camera (!?) so don’t do anything sus, okay 🧎‍♀️ sorry i love this voice drama so much

Then, someone rang the doorbell—So, Yandere-kun very gently (INTIMIDATINGLY) tells you to not be too loud as he went to go see who it is…Has a few conversation about that person, acting like he’s a normal human-being there for a second and soon—He comes back to you and you asked who it was. He said it was no one important, just the landlord…looking for a lost cat.

“…I sure hope they find it soon.”

♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎♥︎

(SOBBING)

“BRIEF SUMMARY” MY ASS—Sorry, I had too much fun translating and commentating on this lmao ☠️☠️ ITS SO FUCKING GOOD. I’m sure there were a few error in this, but like—I wish I have the general knowledge down at least so that you could understand what happened 🤡 Apologies for that lol

Please listen to the actual audio drama, it’s free on youtube—I swear it’s a different experience with voice on. It changed my life fr だいきりASMR is a hidden diamond in the rough, why is no one talking about them 😩 I’m gonna go listen to more of their content, and I’ll share some with you all if I find something more interesting to translate and commentate on lol 👀 chaotically, if y’all are into that haha

Also, I love how someone can portrait a yandere like this—A yandere that doesn’t rely too much on violence and I love the fact that he’s not just the typical sadistic type of Yandere, yknow? 😭 Like he’s just some poor pathetic bastard who fell in love with the wrong person, at the wrong time—So, you can’t help but kinda feel bad for him ☠️ PEOPLE TAKE NOTES.

[broke-art-girl]

Ngl Might write an Older Brother AU with Timothèe Chalamet, Natalia Dyer, and Finn Wolfhard. I never felt that "Holly Wheeler" was very crucial to the Stranger Things storyline so I'ma ditch her and replace her with "Robertt "Rob" Wheeler" (find it on AO3 Here)

"Robertt "Rob" Wheeler" Headcanons:

× How old is he? ×

• He's the eldest in the group. He's older than Steve and Nancy anyway. Eddie's age. Robert was born in January of '65, with Nancy being born in November of '67, and Mike in April of '71,

× What kind of screen time does he have? ×

•Season One: He wouldn't show up much because he would be off studying for finals. But he would warn Nancy about hanging out with Steve after telling her he saw Steve sneaking out while he was out smoking.

•Season Two: he would have minimal screen time because he's in college.

•Season Three: He would have a bit of screen time, this would be the season he learns about the upside down. He would be helping with the Russians and would comfort El about Hopper.

•Season Four: He would have a lot of screen time.

He would totally be there to stand up for Hellfire Club. (Plot twist + flash back) He was once a member. After all, that's how Mike got into D&D.

He and Eddie used to be good friends. Eddie missed Robbie after he got held back the first time, then he got held back again and Robertt moved on to high school, leaving him in junior high.

Once he learns Eddie's in trouble he rushed to help. When Eddie dies, he takes it HARD. Maybe just as hard as Dustin. When he show comes to a close in the field of flowers, you can barely see will hugging him as he cries in the background. From the conversation Will had with Jonathan you can assume Robertt had a thing for Eddie, because why would Will be hugging Robertt and not Nancy or Mike??

•Season Five: He would have the screen time of a main character, he's helping fight, he's in the upside down, he's protecting his siblings, avenging Eddie. He might even sacrifice himself to save them if it comes down to it in the bitter end. It would be worth it. And he finally understands why Eddie did it, and he's happy to finally see in again.

× What are his personality traits? ×

• Shy to a fault but will sit next to someone just to let them know he cares. Loves to give gifts and make things. Mike often gets him to make the party Christmas gifts.

• Likes to cook and read. His favorite food is vegetarian soup (yes he's vegetarian and yes he gets picked on for it) and his favorite book/play is Romeo and Juliet.

• Will help his siblings with homework, or just do it for them if they ask nicely.

• He's kind of like Steve in the way that you can talk to him about anything, and he's sort of a babysitter/ cab driver, he was more trusted with Mike when he was younger but now Mrs. Wheeler just doesn't care.

× How did he become friends with everyone? ×

• Became friends with Mike and Nancy because their siblings.

• Became friends with Dustin, Lucus, and Will after he showed Mike what D&D was. After he went off for college, Mike took over the dungeon master position, using his big brothers old books.

• Became friends with Jonathan through him waiting for Will to quit playing D&D at their house.

• Became friends with Robin and Steve after Steve yelled "Rob?!" And both Robin and Robertt said "Yeah?!"

• Became friends with Max through a love for skateboarding.

• Became friends with Eleven back when she was hiding out in the basement. He knew Eleven was down there the whole time. He would go down there after work and see her sitting there... He would talk to her through the day to pass the time, distract his parents from seeing her, and tell mike he was an idiot. Of course he wouldn't elaborate on why Mike was an idiot, but he figured he knew why.

• Became friends with Eddie when they were kids through D&D. Back when his hair was buzzed and he didn't have those sweet old tatties yet.

Image source: here