Tumgik
#they made the muppets gay
crabbyhellfire · 1 year
Text
Tumblr media
Everybody seemed to really like the electric gayhem post for pride month so here’s a follow up of my favourite t4t couple :)
267 notes · View notes
clyde-and-co · 1 year
Text
LOSING IT over these Bert and Ernie pictures???
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
1K notes · View notes
iggyguyy · 6 months
Note
hi :D
I was wondering (if you wanted to) if you could draw Lips? If not, that's cool 👌🏻
Ok have a good day/night good bye bye
HIIIIIII ONE LIPS COMING RIGHT UP
Tumblr media
+ a bonus Zoot since its Christmas after all
Tumblr media
69 notes · View notes
skrunksthatwunk · 5 months
Text
i lied kuwameshi time NOW
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
56 notes · View notes
alexisntedgy · 3 months
Text
rewatching the muppets (2015) is so funny because I’ll be like “oh I remember there are some rlly funny bits actually!! it had so much potential!” and then I watch it and just go
“gonzo has. gonzo has parents? what is this universe because that would solve a lot of questions and character points that I actually don’t want to be solved”
“aw yeah no walter :( he’d be so sad he wasn’t in this”
“pls don’t be a misogynist like that *character I love*”
“I HAD ALMOST MANAGED TO BLOCK OUT THE FACT THEY TRIED TO STRAIGHTIFY SCOOTER”
“sAM AND J A N I C E ?!”
24 notes · View notes
ookikufurikabutte · 7 months
Text
funniest & most terrifying thing to think about of ur ocs possibly becoming popular is that people start treating them like they belong to them and suddenly everything that made them who they are goes out the window.
13 notes · View notes
dogt-eeth · 1 year
Text
Since I didn't get any art done today, here's a Bertnie edit
Tumblr media
They're so Gay I love the queers
[Img ID: A screenshot of Bert and Ernie, from Sesame Street. Their noses are touching and Bert has his hand on Ernie's shoulder. Behind them is the Gilbert Baker pride flag. End ID.]
20 notes · View notes
Text
so one should look on love
Rating: Mature
Archive Warning: No Archive Warnings Apply
Category: F/F
Fandom: Warrior Nun (TV)
Relationships: Sister Beatrice/Ava Silva, Sister Camila/Sister Lilith (Warrior Nun)
Characters: Ava Silva, Sister Beatrice (Warrior Nun), Sister Lilith (Warrior Nun), Sister Camila (Warrior Nun)
Additional Tags: camila and lilith's relationship thru the eyes of ava and beatrice, self indulgent world building, Post canon, Post Holy War
Series: Part 3 of a devil at the crossroads
Description: Beatrice sees Lilith fall and thinks there is nothing more beautiful than someone finding what they thought was lost. Ava sees Lilith fall and thinks that of all the miracles she’s seen, this is perhaps the most miraculous of all.
read on ao3
Ava doesn’t hear what Camila says in response, busy grabbing her sword from where they keep it tucked away with the umbrellas in the front closet, but when she emerges, Beatrice is hanging up the phone and ready to go.
“What’d Camila say?”
“That Lilith called her, told her that she loved her, and then passed out,” Beatrice exhales.
Ava stops dead, processing several things very quickly considering the circumstances, and then eventually nods. “That about tracks with Lilith’s level of emotional maturity.”
Bea snorts as she holds open the door, distracted momentarily from her panic. “I don’t think you’re one to talk about improperly timed I love yous.”
“That was one time! I was gonna die! Give me a break!”
read on ao3
38 notes · View notes
gir-posting · 2 years
Text
bababoo
6 notes · View notes
robertdarlingdog · 6 months
Text
I’ve been nervous to post and idk why
1 note · View note
frogosaurus · 9 days
Text
Happy Pride month to all the gay folks who should still be with us but were lost to AIDS. So many of them had (and continue to have) huge impacts on the world, despite their lives being tragically cut short.
Since this is primarily a Muppet blog, I wanted to take a moment to talk about Richard Hunt.
Tumblr media
Richard Hunt was a gay man and a fantastic puppeteer who started working with Jim Henson, Frank Oz, Jerry Nelson, and company in 1970 at age eighteen and joined the cast of Sesame Street two years later. While working with the Muppets, he originated the characters of Scooter, Beaker, Statler, Sweetums, and Wayne, but also became the primary performer of Janice and is responsible for the flower child personality she is now known for. He was also known to be a fantastic singer.
But maybe most importantly, he made so many people happy. According the book "Of Muppets and Men" by Christopher Finch, Hunt "seems to get more unadulterated pleasure from performing than anyone else in the organization. When he is not working on camera, he is apt to have Scooter or Beaker or Janice -- anyone -- on his arm for the purpose of entertaining... He makes the crew laugh, jokes with the guest star, clowns for the shop personnel. He is one of the chief reasons for the loose atmosphere that exists around Studio D despite the pressure and the slow pace that are endemic to television production."
Hunt died at age 41 due to AIDS complications. The Muppet Workshop made a panel for the NAMES Project AIDS quilt in his honor. The Richard Hunt Spirit Award is presented every year at the Sesame Street wrap party to the cast member that best honors Hunt's generosity and dedication on set.
Rest in peace Richard. Thank you for the laughs and the smiles, and happy Pride 💛
2K notes · View notes
emo-batboy · 8 months
Text
Things Battinson Totally Did During His First Year of University
Using Unhinged or Odd Things I Also Did as a College Freshman :D
Note: for this list, let’s believe Bruce was living in an (admittedly expensive and swanky) dorm because it is required for first-years, especially those entering at a young age, and Alfred told him he needed to make friends. Also yes I did every single thing on this list. I never claimed to be a role model
Bruce, to his TA: I’m so sorry I’m late to class. I gave blood a few hours ago and almost fainted on the way here, but it won’t happen again.
Signs up for a class called “Age of Dinosaurs” despite it not being required whatsoever and proceeds to work his entire schedule around it
Bruce: Your mental health is super important. If you think you should see the on-campus therapist, go see them. Friend: Fine. I’ll sign up for therapy if you sign up for therapy too. Bruce: Hold on-
Finds a loophole in his housing contract that allows him to get a pet frog, calls him kermit :)
Gets a second frog because Kermit was lonely, names it Constantine after Muppets Most Wanted, then realizes that they’re gay for each other. Wonders if the rainbow-colored rocks he got them triggered anything
Swings dramatically between calling Alfred every single day and ghosting him for weeks, cries when he realizes what he did
“Accidentally” joins the student body council, doesn’t know what he’s doing, gets re-elected anyway
Molds a dragon out of Laffy Taffy instead of doing his work
Bruce: *joins Honors, gets all A’s, takes the max amount of classes, has several minors, overachieves* Also Bruce: I’m a failure.
Breaks into a building after hours to study because NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO SHUT THE FUCK UP AT THE LIBRARY
Bruce: I will not get seasonal depression this year. Bruce: *gets real and seasonal depression that year*
Meticulously schedules his day with a color-coded planner because if he sits down for too long, the thoughts will consume him
Gives a presentation to his rhetoric class on how much he likes Spider-Man: Into the Spiderverse (it is 20 minutes long)
Successfully allocates funding from the student body council to pay for free feminine products in the dorms OUT OF SPITE because someone said it couldn't be done. fuck you, Andrew
Bruce: It is not an all-nighter if I go to sleep before my first class. Friend: It is 7:30am, the sun is in the sky, and your first class is at 12:30. Bruce: But I am getting sleep.
Refuses to go anywhere without his backpack because what if he needs three notebooks at once
Loses over 20 pounds because ✨stress✨ and scares the shit out of Alfred when he comes home for Thanksgiving
Argues with his TA over the one (1) question he got wrong on his Dinosaur exam
Bruce, calling Alfred: Hello father figure. How do I do taxes? Do I have to do them myself? Also, I think I’m having a panic attack.
Joins in on a charity arts-and-crafts project that gives kids books with matching activities made by volunteers, proceeds to commandeer the project because “it’s not color-blind friendly” and rewrites the instructions for everyone
Makes a murder wall
Goes to one (1) sports game and proceeds to leave in the first ten minutes because it’s way too loud wtf is wrong with people
Professor, addressing the lecture hall: I dare you to write an essay about these two sentences. Bruce: *writes an essay about six words, gets a 100, never even read the book*
Crawls into the ceiling for some alone time
Ghosts someone after a date because he’s too scared to tell them he didn’t know it was a date in the first place and now he feels bad
Classmate: How tf does he walk across campus that fast? I go in the same direction he does on my bike, and he’s always ahead of me. Bruce: *is gay sprinting to Dinosaur class*
Refuses to let others use his Favorite Pen TM
Constantly gets mistaken for a Grad Student because he is “so wise and mature” (bestie, that’s the autism)
Alfred: *casually mentions he got into a car accident through text* Bruce: *replies with a meme while hyperventilating because he doesn’t know what to do with that information??!*
Wears a suit to one of his finals
Regularly eats non-organic food for the first time in his life, proceeds to learn about several allergies Alfred forgot to mention he has
Writes “What is a Hot Pocket?” in calligraphy and proceeds to laugh his ass off alone in his dorm because he is so exhausted he’s reached the point of delusion
Locks himself out of his dorm right before class, frantically asks the floor group chat if someone can help, proceeds to tell the nice gay man on the floor who saved him “I love you” because his social skills have hit rock bottom
Makes a little music album display next to his desk for his favorite band (Nirvana) His friends call it a shrine, and they are technically correct
Has a blacklist of people he refuses to interact with because Reasons
Counselor: What do you want to do when you graduate? Bruce: *gestures vaguely*
Refuses to take the bus because there are people in there and he doesn’t like those
Loses one of his frogs, how tf did he do that, they’re fully aquatic, oh fuck, this is probably why they got rid of that loophole a year later because unbeknownst to Bruce, he accidentally started a frog revolution in the dorms, btw he SWEARS he did not mean to do that
Has two trash cans in his room: one for the Good Garbage, and one for the Bad Garbage. Only Bruce knows which is which
Bruce: *writes a creative piece about a ship’s final thoughts as it sinks, bringing its passengers down with it* TA: Absolutely lovely, Bruce, but are you okay?
Goes on Night Walks, keeps himself safe by maintaining a level 12 resting bitch face at all times
Earns the nickname “8th floor cryptid” after pacing the halls at 3am when it’s too cold for Night Walks (honestly tho how tf didn’t he get the nickname earlier?)
Bruce: Do you think a depressed person could do this? Bruce: *has a manic episode*
Okay that's all love you BYE
3K notes · View notes
hotvintagepoll · 23 days
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Propaganda
Rita Moreno (Singin' in the Rain, West Side Story)—She’s an EGOT, an absolute legend for how she navigated her career as a woman of color in the fifties and sixties. Her performance as Anita in West Side Story is why I go back to that movie so many times. She is an icon and she is the moment.
Marlene Dietrich (Shanghai Express, Witness for the Prosecution, Morocco)—Bisexual icon, super hot when dressed both masculine and feminine, lived up her life in the queer Berlin scene of the 1920s, central to the 'sewing circle' of the secret sapphic actresses of Old Hollywood, refused lucrative offers by the Nazis and helped Jews and others under persecution to escape Nazi Germany, the love of my life
We are in the quarterfinals of the Hot & Vintage Movie Women Tournament. All other polls in this bracket can be found here. Propaganda is not my own and is on a submission basis. Please reblog with further support of your beloved hot sexy vintage woman.
[additional propaganda submitted under the cut.]
Rita Moreno propaganda:
Tumblr media Tumblr media
"Amazing showstopping actress in her one big memorable role as Anita in West Side Story. She sings and dances with unmatched joy and energy, and then breaks your heart with her acting. Rita took a role that felt as a stereotype to latina women and made it compelling and multifaceted. Her subsequent career was filled with mostly side roles, but she still managed to excel in whatever Hollywood threw at her."
Tumblr media
"It’s Rita!! The EGOT herself! She can act, she can sing, she can dance, a triple threat. Obviously absolutely iconic as Anita in West Side Story (her part of the Tonight Quintet is the sexiest part of the film, fight me). But before that she was the amazing Zelda in Singin’ In the Rain!?! Thanks Zelda, you’re a real pal."
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
"She continues to be amazing but also she's got legs for days."
Tumblr media
"THEE iconic rita moreno, EGOT winner, civil rights activist, theatre legend. watch her documentary "Rita Moreno: Just a Girl Who Decided to Go for It". also her rendition of "fever" on the muppet show"
youtube
Marlene Dietrich:
Tumblr media
ms dietrich....ms dietrich pls.....sit on my face
its marlene dietrich!!!! queer legend, easily the hottest person to ever wear a tuxedo, that hot hot voice, those glamorous glamorous movies…. most famously she starred in a string of movies directed by josef von sternberg throughout the 1930s, beginning with the blue angel which catapulted her to stardom in the role of the cabaret singer lola lola. known for his exquisite eye for lighting, texture, imagery, von sternberg devoted himself over the course of their collaborations to acquiring exceptional skill at photographing dietrich herself in particular, a worthy direction in which to expend effort im sure we can all agree. she collaborated with many other great directors of the era as well, including rouben mamoulian (song of songs), frank borzage (desire), ernst lubitsch (angel), fritz lang (rancho notorious), and billy wilder (witness for the prosecution). the encyclopedia britannica entry im looking at while compiling this propaganda describes her as having an “aura of sophistication and languid sexuality” which✔️💯. born marie magdalene dietrich, she combined her first and middle names to coin the moniker “marlene”. she was a trendsetter in her incorporation of trousers, suits, and menswear into her wardrobe and her androgynous allure was often remarked upon. critic kenneth tynan wrote, “She has sex, but no particular gender. She has the bearing of a man; the characters she plays love power and wear trousers. Her masculinity appeals to women and her sexuality to men.” in the 1920s she enjoyed the vibrant queer nightlife of weimar berlin, visiting gay bars and drag balls, and in hollywood her love affairs with men and women were an open secret. she was an ardent opponent of nazi germany, refusing lucrative contacts offered her to make films there, raising money with billy wilder to help jews and dissidents escape, and undertaking extensive USO tours to entertain soldiers with an act that included her a playing musical saw and doing a mindreading routine she learned from orson welles. starting in the 50s and continuing into the mid-70s she worked largely as a cabaret artist touring the world to large audiences, employing burt bacharach as her musical arranger.
Tumblr media
First of all, there are those publicity photos of her in a tux. Second of all, I have never been the same since knowing that she sent copies of those photos to her Berlin lovers signed "Daddy Marlene." Not only is she hot in all circumstances, but she can do everything from earthy to ice queen. Also, she kept getting sexy romantic lead parts in Hollywood after the age of 40, which would be rare even now. She hated Nazis, loved her friends, and had a sapphic social circle in Hollywood. She also had cheekbones that could cut glass and a voice that could melt you.
Tumblr media
Her GENDER her looks her voice her everything
Tumblr media
“In her films and record-breaking cabaret performances, Miss Dietrich artfully projected cool sophistication, self-mockery and infinite experience. Her sexuality was audacious, her wit was insolent and her manner was ageless. With a world-weary charm and a diaphanous gown showing off her celebrated legs, she was the quintessential cabaret entertainer of Weimar-era Germany.”
Tumblr media
The bar scene in Morocco awoke something in me and ultimately changed my gender
youtube
"Her manner, the critic Kenneth Tynan wrote, was that of ‘a serpentine lasso whereby her voice casually winds itself around our most vulnerable fantasies.’ Her friend Maurice Chevalier said: ‘Dietrich is something that never existed before and may never exist again.’”
Tumblr media
"Songstress, photographer, fashion icon, out bisexual phenom (notoriously stole Lupe Velez and Joan Crawford's men, and Errol Flynn's wife, had a torrid affair with Greta Garbo that ended in a 60-year feud, other notable conquests including Erich Maria Remarque -yes, the guy who wrote All Quiet on the Western Front- Douglas Fairbanks Junior, Claudette Colbert, Mercedes de Acosta, Edith Piaf), anti-Nazi activist. Marlene was a bitch - she had an open marriage for decades and one of her favorite things was making catty commentary about her current lover with her husband, and her relationship with her daughter was painful- but she was also immensely talented, a hard worker, an opponent of fascism and the hottest ice queen in Hollywood for a long time."
youtube
"She can sing! She can act! She told the Nazis to fuck off and became a US citizen out of spite! She worked with other German exiles to create a fund to help Jews and German dissidents escape (she donated an entire movie salary, about $450k, to the cause). She looks REALLY GOOD in a suit. If you're not convinced, please listen to her sing "Lili Marlene". Absolutely gorgeous woman with a gorgeous voice."
Tumblr media
Gifset link
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
"Bisexual icon and Nazi-hater. Looks absolutely stunning in the suits she liked to wear. 'I dress for the image. Not for myself, not for the public, not for fashion, not for men'."
"would you not let her walk on you?"
Tumblr media
458 notes · View notes
iblameashley · 3 months
Text
Ghost Falls Silent, Simon Stands
Civilian | Male | Gay
3,800~ words
Content: Hospitalization, recovery, cohabitation, use of 'lad' (gendered language?), nightmares, gay stuff, fluff, happy ending.
Follow up to Something to look forward to
Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley | Male
!!!SFW!!!
When Simon "Ghost" Riley is injured protecting you, his recovery means a month confined to home - that is, after two weeks of sedation in the base medical wing. Captain Price requests you stay and assist. Through highs and lows, you stand steadfast by Ghost's side. As feelings begin to emerge, Ghost must confront what it means to open his heart some more and whether a future beyond warfare could truly be possible or if he'll continue fighting alone.
Tag List: @a-sleepy-dissapointment
Tumblr media
(Thanks to @loneghostwolf for permission to use this image)
You had been sitting outside of Simon's room in the medical wing as Price came along to have a 'talk' with him. You weren't too far from the door, but were close enough to hear Price's deep, commanding voice as he scolded Simon like a father would to a child.
Simon had been protesting his medical leave recommended by the staff. There was rarely an opportunity for them to get the Ghost in for any type of examination, and now that he had been there for a little over two weeks, they were recommending a month of medical leave, and this did not go over well with Simon.
So Price had made a request of you first, asking if you'd be willing to continue to watch over Simon when Price sent him home for recovery. You of course agreed, you'd become rather fond of that lumbering, stoic idiot.
And now here you were, unintentionally eavesdropping on Price and Simon.
“Simon Riley, I swear to God if you fuck this friendship up, I will put a bullet in you myself, you damn muppet!” Price fired back.
“I'm good to go, Price. The wound is healed, I just need a little training to get back into proper form... it shouldn't take more than a couple days at most, sir.” Simon replied, clearly trying to charm his way back into work with his confident tone.
Price was having none of it.
“Absolutely not.” Price shot him down without question. “I can't spare this room much longer, I can't spare Soap or Gaz to watch over your ass for a whole month, and I can't trust you to sit down and relax on base for the next month.” He grumbled with annoyance. “My best option is that wonderful lad out there who, for some reason, has been here for you since you were brought in. No complaints and no problems. He wants to be here, he wants to be your friend, and he wants to watch over you for the next month!”
Price stopped his tongue-lashing long enough to catch his breath, and Simon sat silently for a moment as his brain processed everything.
You of course were sitting in the corridor with a shit-eating grin on your face. Price was likely the only person on Earth who could talk to Simon this way and live, and it tickled you to know that Simon would bend to Price's will if enough pressure was applied.
“Fine.” Simon finally huffed. He surrendered to Price's demand. “But...”
“No 'buts', Simon. He will be accompanying you back to your flat and staying with you for the next month.”
You didn't need to be in the room to know the look Simon had on his face.
“Fine.” He said again in a tempestuous tone.
An image of Simon sitting in the bed with his arms crossed came to mind and you let out a breathy chuckle.
“When will I be discharged into his care?” Simon asked, pulling you from you daydream.
“Seventeen hundred hours, when he's technically finished his work for the day. You'll be loaded into a vehicle together and driven home.” Price explained. “I've already gone ahead and had Soap and Gaz prepare your flat for the two of you, since they had a few hours to spare today. You'll have groceries stocked and beds turned down. Soap may have ate the chocolates meant for the pillows, though.” Price joked.
With nothing more to say, Simon was resigned to his fate.
“Good lad.” Price said before leaving Simon's room. He flashed you a look and smile, “He'll be your problem in a few hours.”
“He always was.” You joked, giving Price a nod as he continued on his way down the corridor.
✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦
Day 4
Its been four days. Four.
You woke up to the smell of something burning and a voice cursing form the kitchen in a Manchester accent. Simon. You threw the blankets back and begrudgingly sat up from the small cot Gaz and Soap had placed in the den of Simon's flat for you. It took a moment to gather your thoughts and boot your brain up enough to wander out into the kitchen to see some charcoal – apparently eggs – in the frying pan on the stove. There were some sausages cooking in another pan as well. Simon was limping around the kitchen looking for a solution.
“Little early in the morning to be trying to kill us both, don't ya' think?” You yawn as you walked over to the stove and pulled the pan off, tossing the chunks of eggs into the sink.
“I didn't ask for a babysitter.” Simon grunted. You notice him wince as he reached for something on the top cupboard, and you shake your head.
You drop the burnt pan into the sink and grab a new one, not quite hiding your frustration.
“Then stop acting like a fucking baby.” You shot back with a bit more vitriol than intended. “Think you can manage a cup of coffee for me and some tea for yourself?” You shot a second time, flashing him a tired and irritable look.
“Think so.” He grunted before moving to grab a couple of mugs.
You grabbed a fresh pan and placed it on the burner, turning the heat down and waiting a few minutes before cracking some fresh eggs. This man could dismantle bombs and take on multiple men in hand-to-hand, but was seemingly lost in his own kitchen.
“How do you like your eggs?” You asked, already cooking some sunny-side up eggs for yourself.
“D'innit matter.” Simon said as he worked away to prepare some drinks.
You shrugged and cracked some more eggs into the pan. Sunny-side up all around.
“Why are you so damn stubborn, Si?” You asked, tying to mask the sadness in your voice. You knew why, it was easy to figure out with a man like Simon Riley, but a part of you wanted to hear it from him.
“Don't need anyone to take care of me. Been takin' care of myself long enough.” His voice betrayed his words and you were, of course, unconvinced of his statement.
“Well... I'm here to help while you recover. I already agreed to do the cooking and cleaning while you caught up on paperwork – which was generous of Price to allow – and getting yourself back in shape for deployment.” You remind him, aiming the spatula at him.
Simon took a seat at the kitchen table as the water boiled in the kettle and simply stared at you. You were right, but it would be a cold day in hell before he said it out loud.
By the time the food was ready, Simon had a steaming mug of coffee for you and a tea for himself. You plated the eggs and sausages, as well as some toast you had made.
“Eggs... without a kitchen fire or the fire department. Enjoy.” You winked at him while buttering some toast.
“Thanks.” He mumbled into his tea.
Despite the attitude Simon had been giving you, you knew his gratitude ran deeper than he let on. He did eventually give you a small smile while he ate, which helped lighten your own mood, though you still had twenty-six days to go.
✦•·····················��•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦
Day 10
You were sitting in the living room with Simon, tapping away at your laptop as you worked well into the evening. You'd fallen behind in your work and decided to spend some time today catching up – and you were almost done as the storm outside really began to rage.
There was a crash of thunder that startled you; Simon looked over and his chest heaved as he silently laughed at you.
“Control... S” You murmured to yourself as you saved your work. Lessons had been learned years ago about this very situation.
“Power's bound to go out soon.” Simon sighed as he closed his book – one you had bought him at the market.
No sooner had those words escaped his lips than the lights flickered.
Then again.
And then died, plunging you both into almost complete darkness, your face illuminated by the dimmed screen of your laptop. Without the sounds of appliances or the TV, you could hear the roar of wind and pattering of the rain on the windows.
“I'll get the candles.” Simon advised as he got up off the couch.
You closed the lid of your laptop and got out your phone, turning on the flashlight and following close behind him. “I'll help.” You volunteered, tossing your laptop aside and jumping from the chair.
Soon his living room was flickering with the warm light from the candles. You sat on the couch next to him silently as the storm continued outside; you'd kill for wi-fi right now.
You pulled the skull throw you had gifted Simon from the back of the couch and wrapped it around you. It wasn't particularly cold, but it was comforting. You didn't have the courage to tell Simon you had a minor, teeny fear of the dark.
“Y'know... this storm reminds me of a camping trip I took when I was a bit younger.” You said, breaking the silence.
Simon simply stared at you, waiting for you to continue.
“Well, I stupidly dropped my compass and broke it... that should have been the first sign of things to come.” You chuckled as you recalled the memory. “Then of course the storm moved in and drenched me. I ran to cover, totally forgetting that you aren't supposed to take shelter under trees. A bolt of lightening reminded me as it struck several trees nearby.” You exhaled loudly, a smile playing on your face as you remembered just how close a call that experience was. “But because I also happen to have an overactive imagination, and was full of adrenaline and fear already, I could have sworn I saw a pale figure staring at me from the trees. It shrieked like a banshee and I damn near pissed myself. I was a Goddamn mess when I finally made my way back to my friends.” You let out an awkward laugh and looked over to Simon.
“Sounds terrifying.” Simon replied in his usual flat tone, though his eyes did dance with interest as he stared you down. “You're a brave lad to have emerged from that and carried on.”
There was no undertone of sarcasm of teasing in his tone, catching you off guard.
“You have any 'scary' stories?” You asked him, making yourself more comfortable under the throw.
“Aye..." MacTavish's influence seeped through. "...got a real spine tingling one for ya.” Simon nodded.
He leaned in close and lowered his voice. His eyes narrowed and he stared intently at you. “I was once a child.” He deadpanned.
You desperately wanted to keep your composure, but you felt the twitching of your lips as you started to crack. You let out a shaky chuckle before breaking into a full on laughing.
As you wiped the tears from your eyes, you could see Simon sitting back slightly, a tiny smile tugging at his lips in the dim light of the candlelit room.
“You're such a cunt.” You tittered.
Shifting his tone, Simon cleared his throat. “Thank you.” He rumbled alongside the thunder. “...its not so terrible, having you around.” He confessed.
The earnestness of the words surprised you; an admission you could never have predicted Simon to make.
“...and no one will ever believe you if you tell them I said that.”
There is was. You rolled your eyes.
“You're tolerable.” You shurg.
Simon chuckled, enjoying the playful banter between you two in the darkness of his flat. Even if parts of him were screaming to stop opening up to you.
✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦
Day 21
You woke up groggy and confused as something slammed hard against the floor. It was coming from Simon's room and you moved as quickly as your heavy body would allow to get out of bed.
Walking down the hallway, you could hear the terrified sounds of Simon's distress. Standing at the doorway, you hesitated; your hand hovering over the door knob. Should you really go in? Simon's room was a bit off-limits since you agreed to watch over him. You had wanted to ensure he had one space to himself.
CRASH!
Something else hit the floor. You sigh and grip the door knob, turning it slowly and pushing the door open cautiously.
“Simon?” You murmured through the crack in the door.
You could see Simon thrashing around in the darkness of his room, unable to wake up from the nightmare that was consuming him. He was murmuring someone's name and pleading. Pleading! Simon!
“Fuck it.” You declared, resigning yourself to whatever fate awaited you.
“Simon.” You say, giving him a firm shake. “Simon!” You say louder.
You opened the door a bit further – enough to walk through – and strode over to his bed. You leaned down close to him, and once again hesitated. You looked around to see his lamp and phone on the floor and a spilled glass of water.
Turning your attention back to Simon, you placed a hand over his damp shoulder.
Simon doesn't wake up, stuck in the depths of his terror.
You muster up the courage to do something you never thought you'd do; yell at Simon Riley.
“SIMON, WAKE THE FUCK UP!” You howl at him.
His eyes snap open and he shoots up in bed; his chest heaving and covered in a sheen of sweat, it take him a moment to orient himself.
As his eyes fall on you, and shame creeps into his eyes. You were never supposed to see this. You shouldn't be in here and he shouldn't be this weak in front of you.
You reach out and place your hand on his bicep, giving it a squeeze.
“Are you okay, Simon?” You ask in a soft, concerned voice.
He turns away from you, his chest still heaving but doesn't answer. A bit of ego, but mostly humiliation.
He shrugs your hand off of him and all you do is smile.
“Okay, okay... be that way.” You tease him as you turn to his end table. You pick up the lamp and place it back on the tabletop, then place his phone beside it. “You're safe now.” You speak tenderly to him.
You stand and give him a stare for a moment before leaving his room.
Returning a couple minutes later with a small towel, you kneel down and clean up the spilled water as Simon just sits on his bed.
“You seem calmer now.” You remark as you wad up the towel and toss it to his laundry basket.
“'M fine.” He grumbles.
Liar.
“Alright.” You nod, though he's still not looking at you.
You stand up and sit on his bed, your back to him. You take a deep breath before swivelling yourself around and laying down on the bed beside him.
“...and what are you doing?” Simon rumbles as he feels the weight of your body moving on the mattress.
“What I was asked to do. Take care of you for a month.” You reply bluntly.
You make yourself comfortable beside him, choosing a particularly plump and soft pillow to rest your head on.
“Don't need your help.” Simon protests.
“Sounds like a you problem, Si.” You fire back, pulling your phone from your PJ pocket and unlocking it. “I'm staying, as per Prices request.” You didn't explain that you'd text Price when you left and he'd given you 'orders'.
Simon sits there through seven rounds of solitaire, two crosswords, and a good twenty minutes of scrolling through socials before he finally concedes and lays down beside you. He drapes his arms over his stomach as he stretches out and relaxes; as much as Simon Riley relaxes.
“Don't wanna talk about it.”
You don't look away from your phone.
“Don't have to.” You reply.
“You don't need to know what goes on in my fucked up head because of my fucked up life and job.” He continues.
You like a particularly cute video of a puppy.
“Fair enough. We're all entitled to our secrets.” You nod.
“Did I... say anything?” Simon prods, curious and anxious.
You lower your phone a bit and look over at him. You purse your lips and think about how to respond. So far, you've never lied to Simon, and you don't exactly want to start now.
“Well?” He asks after you hesitate a little too long.
“Yes.” You reply, swallowing the lump in your throat.
“What did I say?” Simon inquires, a bit of horror framing his face.
“I thought you didn't want to talk about it?” The words come out a bit harsher than you intended, and you're already cursing yourself.
“What did I say?” He repeats with annoyance.
You let out a sigh and rest your phone on your chest.
“You were begging.” You reply. You roll your head to the side to look at him. “You were begging for forgiveness and to 'switch places' or something to that extent.” You confess to him, barely managing to choke out the words.
“Fuckin' hell...” Simon grumbles. He stares up at his ceiling. “I....”
“You have terrible taste in people.” He says in an almost teasing tone.
You don't let him finish, “You don't have to say any more, Simon. Not if you don't want to.” You explain. You reach over and tap his abdomen with the back of your hand. “I just want you to know that I don't think any less of you. Never could.”
That elicits a deep laugh from Simon as he shakes his head.
“So I'm told.” You reply, going back to your phone.
“You're really not going to leave, are you?” He asks suddenly.
“What do you mean? Here and now, or before the month is over? Or... ever?” You question him, resting the back of one hand on his body.
“All of the above, 'spose.” He shrugs.
“I'm not leaving. All of the above.” You reply earnestly.
You both fall into a comfortable silence as Simon considers what you've said.
After a half hour or more, Simon hears a thud. Turning to look at you, he notices you've dropped your phone on the floor and are fast asleep on his bed.
You roll over on your side and Simon lets out a low grunt, feigning annoyance – though he's not sure why – before he sighs and grabs the blanket and pulls it over you.
He rolls over so his back is to you and closes his eyes. Somehow your presence here relaxes him enough to let him get a couple hours of sleep.
✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦•······················•✦
Day 30
Maybe domestic life was for you after all. It had been a full month since Price had made his request and here you were; In Simon's kitchen and cooking him one last breakfast before you packed up and returned to your own flat.
Simon had spent most of the early morning in his room just laying on his bed before eventually rolling out and jumping in the shower.
As you finished preparing the large, artery-clogging breakfast of sausages, eggs, hash browns, pancakes and bacon, Simon finally emerged in gym shorts and a tank top.
“Ready to kick my arse out?” You asked, suppressing the tinge of sadness that welled inside you. You really did like being here this last month, though it was difficult to tell if he felt the same way.
Simon huffed and made his way to the table where a tea – just the way he likes it – and took a seat, staring at the back of your head.
He took a sip and thought it over for a moment. “Y've been a goddamn nag.” He finally said, a smile on his face.
“All a part of the job!” You fired back, turning to give him a wide grin.
“Still no idea how Price talked you into it.” Simon mused, looking away.
You pate the mountain of food for the both of you and join Simon at the table. You lean back in your chair and pick up a piece of bacon, eyeing it before taking a bite.
“Didn't take much, to be honest.” You shrug.
Simon defaulted to his usual gruff grunt, “Guess if hasn't been entirely unpleasant to have you around.” He confessed. He couldn't help but fight his own happiness.
“Someone had to make sure you didn't burn the place down.” You tease. "And we nipped that in the bud on day four."
Simon digs into the breakfast you've made for him, silently chewing away and ignoring your joke.
You sipped at your coffee and ate your breakfast as well.
This was a moment that seemed to stretch on for a while, neither of you wanting to admit how the last month truly affected you.
“Y'know...” You say, breaking the silence. “We never did see that movie.” You remind him. Through everything that's happened since Simon was injured, neither of you actually ended up dragging the other to that stupid movie.
You give a shrug. There will be plenty of time for movies.
Simon simply looked up at you and continued to eat.
“It's good.” He said, holding up a forkful of food.
You could tell he was uncomfortable, but you couldn't figure out why. It couldn't have been about the movie.
Maybe it reminded him of being stabbed? Unlikely.
Or maybe he felt... disappointed? Like he let you down?
You could just ask, but that was too easy, and you were both too stubborn to talk about it outright.
“I'll be heading out just after noon, if that's fine with you? I just need to do some work before I leave.” You practically murmur.
“'S fine.” Simon nodded.
As you finished your breakfast and placed your plate in the sink, Simon surprised you with what he said.
“How about tonight?” He asked.
You turned to look at him with a confused look on your face.
He was still sitting at the table with his phone in hand.
“The movie. Its still playing... how about tonight?” He asked again.
You nodded. “Y-yeah. Tonight works for me. What time?”
“Eleven-hundred hours. You... can stay the night again. My flat is closer to the theatre than yours.”
You were too shocked to say anything, so you just nodded again.
Staying another night.
With Simon.
You were brimming with stupid amounts of joy.
149 notes · View notes
20furiousbluebirds · 2 years
Text
My Magnus Archives 2 Predictions
Entire podcast from the Admiral’s perspective
Podcast remade with Chris Pratt voicing Jon
Five random fanfics will be selected and made canon, hope it’s not the weird ones!
The same podcast but Helen and Micheal are doing commentary like those two gay muppets
Shameless cash grab where the Web has massive great badonkalonkahonkas
Jonny monologues for 80+ hours about fear or some shirt
No entities coffee shop AU where you slowly realize this is actually a Friends reboot
Announcement of the horror podcast extended cinematic universe
Eyepocalypse IRL
TMA porn parody the Magnum Archives
“coming this Halloween: nothing. Fuck you” 
2K notes · View notes
hoardingpuffin · 8 months
Text
Every time I see some idiot proclaim "Jim Henson wouldn't have wanted this" under queer-positive, anti-racist or otherwise anti-bigotry posts by Sesame Street, Muppets or related fan accounts, I gotta laugh.
Like, do y'all know who Jim Henson even WAS?! He was, by the gods, no perfect person, but do y'all honestly think he'd be on your side as you spew hatred against minorities? The man that had a TV series created with the literal goal to teach equality and social systems and that'd help stop wars?!
Actually, let me bring up other Muppeteers while I am at it, who'd likewise not support y'alls crap: Dave Goelz, famously basing his characters on himself at least in part, playing the very gender-expression-flexible Gonzo and supporting the queercoding of Boober in "The Glow". Bill Baretta, performing Pepe the King Prawn who canonically has described sexuality as fluid. Richard Hunt, who performed Scooter, Mudwell the Mudbunny and many more, a gay puppeteer. Frank Oz, performer of Fozzy Bear, Animal, Bert, Miss Piggy and more, 1st Gen. Immigrant from a Jewish-Catholic mixed family. Kevin Clash, a Black man who made his own career as a puppeteer since he was a teenager. I could go on and on. Aymee Garcia. Peter Linz. Frank Meschkuleit. John Tartaglia.
Your bigotry has no place on Sesame Street, nor with any Muppet media. It never has. From the start, Jim Henson, his fellow creatives, and the people who carry on his work have promoted kindness, education, creativity and equality.
If you think any of them would agree with your bigotry, you have not been paying attention.
327 notes · View notes