#they were sobbing. and all i could do was promise that i’d try and fix it.

[merriclo]

ahsjkds rant/vent in the tags

[ladyelissarose]

———————— ☠️ Ghost

“No.. no I can’t do this.”

Your warm smile immediately dropped to a confused frown, as you pondered, hand trying to reach for Simon’s face, but you felt slightly crushed when he flinched away. As if he was afraid of your touch.

Voice dropping to a whimper you wondered, tears slowly growing in your eyes,

“What? What do you mean Simon it’s o-“

Shaking his head disapprovingly and moving a step away from you Simon interrupted,

“Don’t say it’s ok.. don’t-“

He watched himself crush you as he saw the pain growing in your eyes, lips quivering, so he was quick to explain as best as he could,

“-sweetheart listen.. I- I don’t know how to love... love someone so loving, open and caring like you- I’m not like you I don’t know how to do this-“

He was tripping over his words while he was trying to justify the pain he was causing you, and he only added more as he went on with his voice growing more timid after very word,

“It feels nice when I kiss you- like in the moment it’s beautiful.. but- well my heart feels so empty the second we separate. I don’t know how to continue loving or how to understand that it’s all still- I don’t know how- I’m... I’m so sorry sweetheart.”

A tiny sob escaped your lips as you saw your plans with him crushed, gone. You two had been trying for a while, working through schedules and ups with their downs, doing your best to stay on top and positive, for you it was a hard road but you did it because you loved Simon indescribably.

But Simon... he was still learning about himself and learning to have feelings and live- not just exist as he always did. And by doing this, it opened his eyes to see many things about himself that he personally wished he could fix or make better of.

And before involving you in his life of a mess, he wanted to work on himself, then try again. He wanted to give you a better life than you’ve had, for he knew it was a big piece of a bullshitting story just like his was.

He knew it would hurt to not advance on this, but it was for the best if he wanted to give you the best version of himself, he would still be your Simon.. but he’d be the best Simon Riley.. not ultimately perfect for all, but perfect for you.

You wiped your tears away and stood straight, choosing to maybe fight this. As you wanted to explain to him that you were willing to go through the struggles with him, try and help him in any way you could. But unfortunately he wouldn’t have it, he loved your healed soul and heart too much to break it again because of his.

“Simon.. please- I mean we can try-“

Placing a hand under your chin Simon sternly yet gently pleaded,

“Will you wait for me?”

Teary eyes locked on his that were determined yet soft, you gasped,

“What?”

Gripping it a little tighter Simon stepped back towards you, and spoke ever so kindly,

“Love, wait until I’m ready to love you. I- ... I just want to love all of you so fully sweet angel, but I need to fall in love with the man you’re after first. I need to heal the heart you’re chasing. I can’t love you if I don’t love me... I’d only hurt us... if you can’t-“

Oh to hell with ‘I can’t wait for you’ You we’re going to wait for Simon, he deserved that much and more. Grasping his wrist you insisted, not willing to hear the rest,

“I’ll wait. I’ll wait for you forever... If that’s what it takes Simon Riley.”

His eyes grew wet as he nodded slowly, emitting the softest whimper,

“thank you love.. thank you. I’ll come back to you, I promise.”

A soft breath escaped your lips, as you thought on Simon’s words, seeing he was serious about what he wanted and said.

And truly, you loved him broken and all, you loved his flaws and everything that was about him.

But if you wanted to prove your love for him by waiting, and sticking by his side as he chose to heal first, then screw everything else in your life... you were waiting for Simon, because you already chose Simon. You picked that diamond in the rough and will wait till the end of time just to finally see it shining in its glory through it’s cut up flaws.

Soon his large hands engulfed your face fully, holding your face up to face his, letting you stare into his warm brown eyes. Emotions of every kind swarmed in his mind and showed through his eyes, as they were the only part you could see behind his mask.

Your hands planted on his waist, steadying yourself as you fell into his gaze and your determination to love and wait for him grew stronger, making your knees practically weak.

“Love... may I kiss you.. to remind me of what I’m working for?”

A shy smile lifted on the corners of your lips, you knew that deep down in his heart he loved you very much, but he just needed to learn how to release it more, or not be afraid to let it go. Nodding slowly you replied with a whisper,

“Of course Simon... kiss me.”

Simon moved his hand to lift his mask up to his nose, revealing his light pink lips and the tip of his crooked nose.

Oh the times you were able to see this part of him, it made your heart swoon to no end, every detail about him was precious and sacred, it was Simon, your Simon.

Before you had a second thought about him, you felt the plush of his lips land on yours, a sigh escaping through your nose as he deepened it immediately. His hold tightened on your jaw which caused you to open it slightly, taking in a hitched breath, and allowing him entrance to taste you more.

His kiss was warm and passionate, full of promises and untold words, all that you were willing to wait for until he was ready to spill them out for you.

As quick as it started it finished, leaving you breathless with wide eyes, pink cheeks and red lips, coated lightly as Simon licked his lips and kissed you one last time before pulling away fully.

With one hand Simon pulled down his mask then grabbed your hand, intertwining your fingers as the other held you cheek gently,

“I will love you sweetheart. I.. I promise.”

You leaned into his touch as you cooed,

“And I love you... now and forever.”

His eyes crinkled slightly, he believed you. He let out a sigh of relief as he then turned away, and began to pull you with him, as you two walked back to base, ready for this new journey... and preparing for the next one.

[daylite-writes]

Lynye which you wrote about is perfect, we need more yandere platonic Lynye

Soft Platonic Yandere Lyney (+ Lynette) PT 2

Sorry this took so long, first one disappeared (it’s back up dw!) so this was set back a bit. I’m glad you liked it! I love platonic yandere it’s so underrated.

cw: kidnapping, (mild) yandere, completely platonic, child!reader, gn!reader, reader goes on a hunger strike, implied future force-feeding (but it’s vague + well meaning), Lynette feeds into Lyney’s actions,

Lyney supposed he couldn’t be too upset at your actions. After all, he had snatched you up from the streets and plopped you in a guest bedroom with a door that locked from the outside. None of that stopped the little pang in his heart when he entered the room, seeing it basically ransacked. The shelves and their contents were on the floor, the dresser tipped over, clothes he bought for you scattered about. All that, plus the pillows and comforter of the bed had been pulled off, and he could see it all shoved underneath the bed, where you were undoubtedly bundled up in a little nest. Hiding best you could from your ‘captors’.

“Hey kid.” He greeted, shaking off his disappointment and replacing it with something cheery. “Are you feeling good enough to come out? I feel as though I haven't seen you in days!”

No response.

“Oh come on. Lynette cooked this time, and she set aside a pastry just for you. She won’t even let me near those!” He laughed, taking a seat on the floor, right next to the bed.

“I’d love to run a few magic tricks by you while you eat. I really think these ones are gonna be real showstoppers!”

He heard a small, unamused huff from under the bed.

Spurred on by the acknowledgement, no matter how negative, he continued. “I mean it! The crowd is gonna love this one. I can show you it if you come out.”

The offer was met with a small sniff. Then another.

Panic flooded his veins. You were crying. Oh no you were crying. He was already failing as a big brother and and—

“Move, Lyney.”

His head turned to the door, where Lynette had strode through, closing it gently behind her. Lyney frowned—he absolutely did not need his sister’s help, not when he promised he could take care of you all on your own.. “Sh! Lynette, I’ve got this.”

“You don’t.” She kneeled by the bed, peering under it. Her ears twitched as she waited a second. Then, after one still moment, she reached under the bed, grabbing your small frame and pulling you out.

You make your anger known, your small cries turned into a shriek of fear as you tried to escape her. “Let go! Lemme go!”

She tucked you onto her lap, holding you tight against her chest. Your arms and legs were skillfully trapped and detained as she held you there against her chest, shushing you quietly. “Yes, yes I know. It’s all very scary and unfair. Shh. I know. I know.”

“Let—I wanna go. I wanna…” blubbering wails turned into hiccuping sobs as she comforted you. Eventually, you collapsed against her, hiding your face away in her neck, letting her place her chin atop your head.

“There we go.”

Lyney sat there uselessly. The gaping hole in his chest aching to hold his new younger sibling in the way Lynette was. Rocking you gently, shushing down your exhausted whimpers and sobs. He watched as you slowly fell asleep, exhausted from your outburst.

When your breathing leveled out and your limbs stopped moving, Lynette relaxed her hold, sighing down at you.

“You said you knew what you were doing, Lyney.” She chastised him. He looked away shamefully.

“I really didn’t expect… this.”

“You should’ve.” Lynette said simply. “They havent been eating the food you’ve been giving them. I doubt they've been drinking the water—I can hear the bathroom sink turning on at night. I assume that’s where they've been drinking their water. Also the reason they passed out so easy. They’re hungry, dehydrated, and most of all, scared.”

“I can’t fix their fear, Lynette. Only try to work through it.”

“You’ve kidnapped them, Lyney. They won’t allow you to work through it. You can’t play big brother when the doors and windows are locked.”

He sighed. “I don’t want to hold them down and force the family thing down their throat.”

“They’re young. They’ll hardly remember this part.” Lynnette brushed your hair back from your face. “When they wake up, make them eat. Whether they want to or not. And maybe make them take a bath.”

“…You’re right Lynette.”

“Of course. Now take them back.”

“Happily!” He chirped, back to a peppy demeanor. Lynette rolled her eyes, passing you into Lyney’s arms. You mumbled a bit in your sleep, shying into the cold chest. Lyney’s face erupted into adoration, eyes wide as he glanced between you and an unamused Lynette.

She rolled her eyes, “Good luck, brother.”

~~~~~~~

[dreamwritersworld]

On the Run (? X reader)

Neteyam POV

When I watched Y/n, all I could hear was sounds of gentle pianos…she brought that beautiful side of life out despite all she’s been through. We went through the same amount of harsh training to be perfect leaders of the clan and yet we had to throw out entire lives away.

In the back of my head I knew my only plan with her was to run away…but I never found the strength to say so, not when she fit in perfectly for our clan.

*

“Y/n! Please help us demonstrate!”

“Of course!”

Y/n respectfully stopped her conversation with the elders as she walked to the teachers who were teaching the younger generation how to hem jewelry

“Y/n is the best at jewelry making kids!”

All the small children laughed and threw their arms out for Y/n to come towards them and assist, Y/n laughed at their eagerness and spent her evening playing and giggling with the children, she was always meant to be a mother and a leader..by the end of the class the children made the jewelry easily as if they had done it their entire life.

*

At times I think in silence of how much I crave her affection..she gave up on that awhile ago. I realize that it’s my fault, I was never one to accept our promise..

*

I lied in the worst ways a man could, I never slept with anyone or craved anything for another women. There would just be some nights where I’d lay beside them or discuss with them and just imagine Y/n as them.. I refused to do anything with her, only because I wanted it to feel real and not forced.

My ideal life would be me being the one to choose her as my mate, and have it all on our terms…it didn’t work out that way. In reality I had so much time to choose her, we were both just kids…we still are. Navi’s get mated much later on in life compared to us.

One night a Navi women slipped a letter into our maui, and I was by myself trying to help figure out new war plans so I could tell my father…everyone had been gone.

That was until Y/n walked in, she had went to grab a blanket for Tuk or something i heard her ruffling of searching come to a stop..

She came out of the corner, staring at me holding up the paper..

“Now don’t go imagining things..”

“Like Elfí..”

I had gotten annoyed and overwhelmed, frustrated that she had found of about my sneaking. We were still so young I felt I should’ve been able to go with whomever and that’d be fine.

“…baby?..”

Y/n voice broke saying the name Elfí had called me. I walked away attempting to keep everything under wraps.

“I don’t want to hear another word Y/n please.”

I tried to get away but Y/n didn’t allow it, she followed me into another part of the maui..

“Well is there something your hiding?”

“I don’t got a thing to hide! You’re just being to demanding!..you know I think you should go back to parading the clan.”

It was wrong yes, but in the moment I used what was most important to Y/n..the clan. Looking back at the argument now it was obvious it wasn’t her main priority..

“What?…well I’m not going!”

…our relationship was her main priority. Y/n was always one to remain mature about situations. And she was willing to stay if it meant that much to her..my sweet girl.

“I think you should! Just go!”

I threw the blanket in her direction as she scrambled for all the items Tuk requested for her..she sat on the floor sobbing next to them

Our arguments portrayed the innocence and immaturity of the both of us.

I, was retaliating aggressively and Y/n stayed.

*

I don’t deserve her, yes i know that. But all i hope for now is another way to fix this relationship; to fix how we are. I don’t enjoy this silence and I never liked it, I just felt like the relationship was too damaged to be fixed. We’re still young but at least now we can make an effort to fall in love again.

It will be so difficult to fix us though..today I’ll make the first step..

-Y/n’s Pov-

I woke up early, moving out of Neteyam’s arm..walking towards the sunset. Nothing was more beautiful than seeing the ocean, they reminded me of Ao’nung..

Theres no denying that you had fallen for him, he was perfect. He had given you the right amount of attention and respect..everything you wanted. There was guilt in this feelings though, you were supposed to be in love with Neteyam..but was this so bad? He snuck around you all the time.

So what if everyone wanted you and Neteyam together? So what if they believed you were the perfect love story? It was a cliche anyway. Neteyam only ever wanted to be a leader, who wants a man with just that as his personality? What about Ao’nung ? He was willing to get in trouble while fulfilling the clans needs..

You found yourself walking to Ao’nung and his family’s Maui in the early morning, knowing he’d be up for his duties..

“Hi!”

“Y/n! I just finished up, wanna go for a walk?”

“Of course!”

The two walked in silence, content and engaged with the sunrise..

“You know with all these weeks we’ve spent together, and I realized the way I treated you before I got to know you was wrong, i’m sorry”

“What? Why are you sorry?”

“Because I made fun of your family, I know it’s been awhile since the whole Lo’ak situation-“

“It’s fine Ao’nung I promise. As long as you treat them good now, everything’s fine.”

The two smiled at each other overlapping hands..and suddenly they gently pulled each other in, they had shared a kiss.

“..Ao’nung..im promised to Neteyam. I’m so sorry..”

There was fear hidden in Y/n’s eyes but beneath all of it she had a desire..desire to be with him, to love all of him and have him show her the greater experiences in life. Ao’nung knew this, he saw all of her..

“..I know Y/n, and if we can escape all of this and run away together? I would. You don’t know what I’d do for you Y/n.”

That’s all Y/n needed to hear before she went in for another kiss..and another, laughing in between.

“I don’t care if we’re on the run, as long as im next to you! Although we should keep this relationship a secret..just until we’re ready.”

“Of course my love, we don’t need to rush anything. You’re all I’ve ever wanted.”

The couple laid on the sand, smiling at the sky in their secluded area..they knew if the clan found out they were together and realized that Neteyam and Y/n were promised it’d be considered a crime…but if it was, why did Y/n bring out the best in Ao’nung?

Soon enough the time came for Y/n and Lo’ak to head to Ao’nung and Tsireya families Maui. There was a sense of awkwardness in the air however.

“..so..Ao’nung just invited you and me over?..and not the others?”

“Yea I suppose he did, mentioned something about them two being closest to us so it fit the occasion..”

“…right..and this isn’t because he likes you-“

“Likes me? Lo’ak please-“

“No im serious! Bros pinning on you!”

“Not as much as Tsireya is pinning you!”

The nervousness and flustering emotions cleared out Lo’aks need to ask questions, and he no longer thought more of the situation.

When it came time to enter Lo’ak eagerly walked in, yanking on me to follow.

The rest of the night was filled with laughter. Ronal was quiet and not willing to open up, but when she saw the interest and eagerness from Y/n to learn about her culture, she was spilling all her knowledge. It wasn’t the fact that Y/n was a perfect leader that interested Ronal, it was the way Ao’nung looked at her. The love was so clearly in her sons eye, she didn’t like it until she realized Ao’nung had been exceeding in everything lately and especially since he had been with her..maybe she wasn’t so bad?..though she had deals to situate with Ao’nung, because she wasn’t so sure about Y/n’s intentions

Later in the night when it was just them two cleaning up Ronal brought up the topic..

“..you like that girl-“

“What girl mother? I wouldn’t possibly know who you-“

“My child, if you’re going to lie do it right. That girl holds your heart and you’re willing to let her swallow it whole if it meant she was yours..so be it. She makes you happy? Have her. But just remember that these things always comes with deals..”

Ao’nungs heart struck with frustration witnessing his mother dangle Y/n over him.

“..no mom-“

“No? Wow. I guess Ao’nung knows best, fine if you’re so mature now.”

“I am mother-“

“She came with nothing on her back from a clan she was meant to be a leader to! You think that she doesn’t want that still? Go ahead and give it to her, but don’t let her deceive you!”

“She won’t mother-“

“Of course she won’t, she has nowhere else to go. She must learn our way and perfect them. You must remain focused on your leadership position. This relationship doesn’t go out to the public until you’re ready.”

“Yes mother.”

The conversation ended at that and Ao’nung remained frustrated..

*Neteyams POV*

I hadn’t seen Y/n all day, and suddenly she’s coming home with Lo’ak laughing about the dinner they spent at Ao’nungs home?..

The laughter of the pair died down as they went their separate ways to bed and Y/n couldn’t even bear to look at me

“Y/n-“

“Keep quiet.”

I spoke with a hushed voice and Y/n still shushed me

“Where have you been? All day I’ve gone looking for you, and you were nowhere to be found. Now im hearing that you were at Ao’nung families Mauri.”

“Please Neteyam just keep quiet. I don’t want to argue about this-“

“I’m not arguing, if you feel guilty about it-“

“I don’t. I’ll never will feel guilty about it Neteyam. It’s not like im sneaking around; yes I went to his families Maui. The siblings invited us to their Maui, it was an invitation. This isn’t just a regular family, they are the leaders of this clan-“

“I’m tired of that excuse Y/n, we are-“

“We are what? Mated? We are nothing yet Neteyam, you know that. We don’t even have a clan anymore.”

I watched as tears had slipped from Y/n’s eyes, she was hurt. Having to drop everything she worked for hadn’t been easy for her either..

“I know that Y/n..I just..”

There I was, frozen again. I was at a loss of words and I couldn’t find the ways to express my feelings.

“It’s fine..I just need to rest.”

Y/n laid down facing away from me scooting farther then she had before..it felt like she was miles away. I just need something..someone to hold..

*Y/n POV*

Days passed by and i grew accustomed to waking up earlier than everyone, this had become my regular routine. My first thought was to head over to Ao’nung but it seemed as though he was already coming over, he had grazed my arm and guided me back to our area. I didn’t speak the entire time, afraid he’d end our relationship. He looked so angry, it was like nothing I’d ever seen before.

“What’s wrong..?”

“My mother.”

“..did you tell her? Did she deny us..”

My heart had shattered even at the thought of our relationship ending.

“No! She just, she’s dangling you right over me. These past weeks shes been telling me about how she wants you perfected, worked to the bone as if you’re not doing enough.”

“Oh Ao’nung I’d knew that’d be an obstacle we’d have to overcome..this isn’t my home, your clan would want a perfect leader..someone to fit your environment.”

“I won’t allow their opinions to swarm you Y/n! I just won’t! It’s not right. I’m the one who needs to be perfect for you-“

“You’re perfect for me Ao’nung, what do you mean?”

“I mean that I need you to have someone who’s worthy of you, I will work on myself in the meanwhile.”

“It’s feels as though it’s been so long Ao’nung…we’ll need to tell the clan eventually. This sneaking around isn’t doing the clan good, you know that. I’ve told you before so many times, and you ignore it. I’m frustrated and I haven’t said anything to keep you calm. You act as though they’re going to believe I committed a crime by falling in love with you-“

“You don’t think that’s this isn’t harder on me than it is you? You don’t think that I don’t want to dedicate myself to being the future leader? You don’t think that I want to be honorable enough to be the man that is going to be controlling this clan that might I add WILL protect you? I love you. I’m in love with you.”

“…I love you too Ao’nung..but im just sick of hiding it. I need you Ao’nung. You’re perfect for me, your it.”

“Oh Y/n don’t cry..”

Tears of expressing those deep emotions had fallen, the strength of their love was far to strong for Y/n to express without getting emotional

“I can’t help it..I feel horrible and I don’t know what to do..”

“What do you mean? What’s going on?”

“I-I still go to the same bed every night, lay with Neteyam and he doesn’t know that im seeing you or that I love you..and I want so badly to just tell him it’s over..I can’t hide my love for you and it feels so wrong to be with someone else while im promised to him..”

“Y/n..im sorry. Our time will come, when we’re both ready. I trust you and I know your heart, I knew something like this would bother you and trust me I’ll work as hard as I can to find a way for us to get out of this..ok?”

“Ok Ao’nung!”

The two snuggled before going their separate ways, it was so obviously written on Y/n’s face. She had a glow, something exciting was occurring in her like and it was a sacred secret..

When Y/n was walking to the Maui, she had walked past a familiar voice..Neteyam’s.

“Maybe..I can come over, we can hang out, do whatever you like..”

Those familiar underlying words and tones that she heard his say to other women far to many times no longer hurt her as much..although she can’t deny that she still felt betrayed.

Yes, she was doing that same…but it’s only happening now. After so many years…how long could Y/n wait before she went off to find someone to love? Neteyam had always had someone to fondle with, to commit infedelity with..

She wouldn’t deny that the sneaking around she was doing was wrong, but she had her reason as much as he did. Except Neteyam’s were far too unreasonable to even listen to…and to think Y/n felt guilty? How pathetic.

Y/n walked right past him and her figure caught his eye..

“Y/n? Wait Y/n!”

Her eyes widened at his voice, usually he would ignore her and allow the continue the flirtatious conversation..he had no shame normally.

“..yes?”

Y/n tried remaining with a calm voice. She spoke in short words to keep it under wraps.

“What you saw there…that isn’t me anymore. I just-“

“Neteyam, I do not care what you do anymore. I don’t care who you sleep with, or who you’ll be laying next to. I have stayed loyal to you for far too long, and we both know that-“

“I know..I know Y/n! But you have to understand I just..i don’t know how to express myself to you. I have loved you since the beginning..I have loved you all my life. But when our parents dropped the bomb on us and promising us to mating; I felt like I had no choice. I thought you felt the same so I denied our relationship, I denied your love. I thought I’d be just fine without you but…I can’t Y/n..these past weeks that you been so distant I have come to realize that I need you more than ever..”

The silence was deafening, nothing would prepare Neteyam for Y/n’s response.

“No..no..”

“Yes.”

“…you’re being mean stop it! Stop it!”

Neteyam reached out for Y/n, while she pushed it away. He knew that he had made her wait far too long and her response was killing him.

“..I have been second since the moment we were promised. I was second to all the women, the clan, everything…I can’t do this anymore, I won’t. I have been loyal and I waited for you, but did you seriously expect me to take you back after all of it? After this much time? I-I won’t do it. Not when I spent my entire life loving you.”

There it was…the words Y/n so desperately wanted to release. It was true that she had fallen out of love with Neteyam..he just didn’t see it, and that wasn’t her fault.

“Y/n..? What-what are you saying?”

That’s when a mountain of tears started to drip from his eyes, realizing the love he had for Y/n would never amount of nothing and it’d remain forever a unrequited love.

“Our relationship is over. I break this promise to you Neteyam. I am no longer willing to put up with you , we’re done. My things will be gone in the morning.”

Y/n turned away, allowing her tears to fall as she walked away. She was not willing to look him in the eyes any longer or listen to his pleas. Those tears weren’t because she was leaving Neteyam, it was because she realized she was leaving something she had wasted so much time on hoping for..all those youthful years were gone. There was hope in her eyes though, hope and prosperity for a better future with Ao’nung..

!💕!

so sorry it’s been awhile 🥲 I’ve been busy and I wanted this to be at least decent 🏂

@jackiehollanderr @itsemy01 @norbis-h @ratchetprime211

[grapejuicestyless]

Fix You.

Conrad Fisher x fem!reader

Summery: You and Conrad have been in a toxic relationship for as long as you can remember. As much as you want to fix him, it night not be possible.

Just a little blurb while I try to finish other requests <3

The deepness of his eyes hid the cool undertones of his glare. He was the embodiment of summer. Blonde hair, tanned skin. He had freckles from the sun and a blush like burn tinting his cheeks. His wild hair and charming smile was nothing like the man he was.

At first I could blame his casual cruelty on the passing of his mother. The affairs of his father and the distrust that Belly had placed on him after her endless chase for his heart ended with the her wrapped around his brother.

But soon the past faded further into the distance. Each summer seemed more and more dull, not in his eyes, but in the fiery kindness he radiated. He was no longer the gentle boy I had grown up with. Not the same kid who sat next to me in math, begging for help on fractions. Not the same teenager who helped me in calculus when numbers because letters and more buttons on the calculator were being used.

He wasn’t the same Conrad who begged Susannah to take me with them each summer because the thought of even spending a second without his best friend from Boston was too unbearable for his young heart.

This Conrad liked to yell. He liked to drink at parties, and he liked to lie.

Hickeys adorned his once beautifully pure neck and his lips stained a shade of red I never owned. I couldn’t afford to own. And with the smell of liquor on his breath, I let it slide like a hose on a slippery plastic summer. I reason, he wasn’t in the correct mindset. And in the morning he swears he believed it was me he was kissing. And I believe that it’s all better because he’s my Conrad, the same boy who pushed me on the swings and held my hand in the dark.

Yet, him confessing his infidelity meant nothing. His crying and begging building my trust only for him to ruin it again.

When would it be my turn to come home and pout about my mistakes. Ones that were supposed to be an accident that clearly were becoming more and more purposeful. When could I pull at my roots and sob into the shoulder of the man who swore to protect me?

It would never be and it could never be. The second my throat would close and my voice would betray me, he was as angry as I was. He had no reasons to be. But he was so good at convincing me otherwise.

“Have some self worth.” Belly had scolded me. But it was impossible to have some. Not when I’d spent it all on a boy who swore to pay it back and never did.

His friends all told him not to be surprised when I stopped showing up for him. A girl can only believe in change so much before the broken proves they are unfixable.

It took me until August, just days before our two year anniversary. A day that was once decorated with flowers and promises was littered with bear cans and scandals.

The night before I caught him finally. His second glass of wine half empty on the table. The same shade of red as the woman’s lips he was kissing tenderly.

I bet he would’ve like it, if I had made a scene. If I had yelled and cried. But I had already done all that. I had begged and pleaded for answers and he called me overdramatic, moody, angry. He had taken all the willpower out of me to do just what he wanted.

I stopped coming by after that summer. The old red door was chipped by the knocker, but it was never used anymore. And his phone was dry without the sound of my voice to remind him to enjoy the nice weather while it lasted.

The birds still sang and the children still played in the streets. But my driveway was empty and the houses were quiet.

I sat alone in my room, feet in front of me on the floor. Humming the tune of a song I know vaguely, I skip some lyrics in my head. Snow falls steadily by my window, and the chill seeps through my thin walls. My nose is red and fingers numb. Im combing through the twinkling fairy lights. I want to hang them up for the holidays. Each time I pull, no matter what I do, they always spring back into their previous curls and spirals. They twist and wrap around each other. The knot only reforms the farther I dig into the wires. I can try to change it, but it will always go back to where it was.

I was untangling string lights much longer than I thought.

[forasecondtherewedwon]

Bodies in the Theatre

Fandom: The Artful Dodger Pairing: Jack x Belle Rating: E Word Count: 1021

For today's @dodgerfoxweek prompt: post-series

Summary: Jack and Belle make a new memory on the operating table where she almost died.

She lives, and he’s afraid to be near her. She probably sees it before he does, feels it before he does, frowning because he’s always maintaining a distance, clasping his hands behind his back. He thinks, for a while, that it’s a reversion to propriety; she’s been recast, a finished vase back into raw clay on a spinning wheel, made over again, and he doesn’t realize it’s him setting her up on a high shelf, out of his reach.

It’s her who shows him, of course. It can only be her. One day, when the hospital is quiet and the theatre floor is clean, she insists on closeness. One step closer and he feels the thick slickness of blood on his hands. Two steps and she’s cut open beneath him and Jack’s demanding, “Stop. Stop,” holding out a hand to prevent her coming any nearer.

“Jack.” Her eyes are pleading, but tears wobble across his vision. “Look at me.”

“I am looking at you,” he spits, crying freely. “I’m always looking at you. You’re always right there, in front of my eyes. I see you… I see you when I try to sleep…”

His hand is shaking when he lifts it to his face, covers his mouth but can’t muffle the ragged sob. He crumples and she sweeps towards him and it doesn’t matter now because his mind has already gone there, seeing the worse. Her hand is just a weight on his back.

“It’s this room,” he gasps.

She rubs.

“It’s only a room.”

“No.” His breathing hitches, but he forces himself to stand. Her hand is on him still. “You looked… I thought you were…”

“Dead,” she finishes. And it’s the worst thing, but it comes from her living lips. “You couldn’t feel me breathing. You couldn’t find my pulse.”

Hetty will have told her, after he could not. She will have asked, naturally curious about the procedure, probably put out that she couldn’t study the surgery performed on her own body. She knows, and it’s such a relief that his lungs fill properly, his panic beginning to subside.

“It’s over now,” is her promise.

“Not in my head.”

She stands squarely in front of him.

“What’s the worst thing you can imagine?”

“You on that table,” he tells her honestly, immediately.

Taking her hand from his back, she strides to the table. Eyes locked on his, she plants her hands and pushes herself up to sit on its surface.

“Belle…” he says, voice rough, gutted from his throat.

“What next?”

He walks to her slowly, face working through all of it: her fearlessness, her determination to see him through this, her strength in sitting where only weeks ago she lay while Hetty sponged the blood that coursed from her body. He takes her face in his hands. It’s been so long. His hands healed her, but he’s been too afraid that the next time they touched her skin, it would all be taken back. Her body would remember, would recoil. She lifts her face and he brings his mouth down to hers.

“Lie down,” he whispers.

This is harder yet, and easier. She lies back without shifting away from him, so her legs hang off the table. She keeps her eyes open. She doesn’t appear uneasy. He’s trembling as he braces his hands and leans over her. Not checking is impossible; he watches her chest rise and fall, pinches her leg through her loose trousers.

“Ouch.”

“Sorry.”

After a minute, she sighs. He folds over her, ear pressed to the thump of her strong heart.

“I remember this ceiling,” she says, so quiet. “I didn’t think… but I do. I remember your face. I couldn’t feel you kiss me—the pain was too much. That didn’t seem fair. But I was never afraid. If you couldn’t fix it, it meant that it couldn’t be fixed, and all the time I’d had was all I would get. I was relieved, when you put the mask over my face and I breathed in the ether. I was relieved if I’d spent the last of my time with you.”

He releases a pained gasp and turns his face into her blouse. He’s kissing the linen, and then Belle draws it up, and then he’s kissing her skin, her scar, the very line she teetered upon between life and death, his the hand she held as she walked it.

He sighs, hot, and her abdomen quivers. His name moans from her mouth like it doesn’t want to leave. Like the rest of him. That’s right, he doesn’t want to leave her.

They fumble her naked from the scar down, and he never thought he’d be here like this, and his exhausted mind has sketched too many scenes where she isn’t here at all. Because he still doesn’t trust his hands, they’re light, stroking her hips, but his mouth is brave though uncertain, his face between her warm thighs. His tongue licks generously and her hips roll with him. He can hear her breathing, because she does it loudly. On the table, she is alive as he has known her to be, knows her to be, and something in Jack is released.

“I can do it,” he exhales. “I have you, Belle. I can do it.”

Her hands rake through his hair, clutch, and guide his mouth back to her. The wetness on his face, winding trails of sorrow and lingering dread, disappears into the wetness of her. It’s joy now, joy, joy, her knees in the air because she can’t keep them down. He shuts his eyes, just a test, and there’s nothing waiting for him there. Her living presence is too commanding.

This is a theatre and the role she’s played in his life is once-in-a-lifetime. He tells her that he loves her, and he tells her that he loves her, and because she loves him, he knows that he can be loved. He knows that she loves him, and she says it, and he hears her. He hears the breath leaving her body. And he hears it surging back in.

[undreaming-fanfiction]

With This Ring (3)

(part two HERE, Ao3 link to the fic HERE)

“Why Harrington…you look like you’ve seen a ghost.” 

Steve opened his mouth, then promptly closed it. There wasn't much to say that he could articulate and he didn't feel like screaming that fine evening, well, maybe a little, but Eddie could take offense at that. Don't offend the walking dead guy sounded like a reasonable precaution.

"I don't know, man," he croaked out, mustering a barely visible smile. "You seem too corporeal for a ghost."

Eddie snorted and for a second, Steve could forget what he was dealing with, because Eddie's smile was still mischievous and his laugh, while still a bit rough, sounded genuine. "Shit. True, let me fix that. You look like you've seen a zombie, Harrington."

Shaking his head, Steve attempted to properly sit up and cursed when he put pressure on his ankle. He'd forgotten about the stupid injury for a moment, more focused on the whole Eddie buried in the woods and suddenly walking around and conversing thing, but now the pain came back with vengeance. "That zombie's going to have a free dinner ticket here," he choked out as he inspected his foot. Didn't seem broken, but sprained...sure.

He wiggled around on the ground, trying to find a way to get back on his feet without feeling like something was breaking his foot in half, but failing miserably. And yeah, maybe he should have been a bit more concerned about the literal undead guy standing over him, but Steve was a practical man. Focus on what you can resolve and all that. 

Looking up at Eddie who was watching him with a slight amused smirk, he pointed at himself. “Well? Are you going to eat me or what?” 

Another snort. “Don’t flatter yourself, Harrington. No matter what my reputation is, I wouldn’t eat just anyone, even if they’re sprawled in front of me like the most pathetic stingray in existence.” 

“Stingray?!” Steve spat out. 

Eddie nodded and descended into a squat to look Steve in the eye, well, as much as they could see in the growing darkness and through Eddie’s messy mane. “Yup. Flat and flapping around. Very much a stingray. Now, Harrington…even with your limited belief in the supernatural, I assume you do know that raising the dead comes with a cost.” 

“I’m so sorry.” 

The dark eyes blinked in confusion. “Excuse me, what?” 

Steve shuffled closer to Eddie, which might not have been the greatest idea he’d ever had, but now that the adrenaline was slowly fading, the gravity of his situation felt like his stomach was full of cold lead. “I didn’t know,” he blurted out and it sounded more like a sob, something too painful to keep in. “I thought, I hoped that you’d be safe, that you finally got your wish and made it out of this shitty town. I imagined that…that one day I’d hear your music on the radio and I’d know for sure, but even until then, I just…I thought you were safe!” 

His breathing was coming out shorter and shorter and wasn’t that just hilarious, getting all choked up in front of a reanimated corpse of his former friend. But running wasn’t an option anyway, and Steve just found it so unfair because Eddie used to be so full of life and promise, so bright and now...

“Hey, Steve. It’s fine, really.” Eddie’s voice was gentler now, more familiar, and that made Steve’s breathing even more shaky. “Shit, you’re…look, you really need to breathe, like, now? Please?” 

Steve was inhaling the cool evening air as much as he could, but his lungs wouldn’t cooperate, as if they refused to take what they needed. “…am…trying!” he wheezed out, but his lips were heavy and getting more difficult to move each second. 

He had never fainted twice in the same day. So maybe he’d experience something new. Apart from meeting a living corpse, of course. 

The said corpse was panicking, it seemed. His cold, dirt-covered hands were shaking Steve’s shoulders now. “Shit, look, Steve, I swear it’s not that lonely, I don’t need the company so just…inhale, exhale, all that good stuff, yeah? Don’t…just don’t suffocate. This grave ain’t big enough for the two of us and…hey, Steve?! Steve!”   

But Steve didn’t hear him anymore. With a whooshing in his ears that sounded very much like a descending murder of crows, Steve’s world disappeared into darkness. 

When he came to, he was sitting in an eerily lit bar, well, more like half-laying on the floor. Someone had been kind enough to stuff an old pillow – mostly eaten through, but still comfortable - under his head. What a fucked-up dream that was. Whatever it was that he’d drunk, it was way stronger than his usual choices. I’m never drinking again. 

And then he saw a familiar figure crouched on the ground, talking to…someone? He couldn’t really see, he was still dizzy, but he tried to clear his head and listen. 

“…a magnificent idea, Eddie. He gets all freaked out because you’re dead and what do you do to help him? You bring him here. To the land of the dead.” 

The voice was annoyed and something felt off about it, but he seemed reasonable enough. Whatever the invisible man was talking about, it sounded right. Except the whole land of the dead thing. And…

And Eddie being dead. 

Steve shot up from the ground and regretted it immediately. His ankle exploded with pain and he had to grasp the edges of the bar to keep himself upright. 

“Hey, young man, careful! That looks like a nasty sprain!” someone said. Steve was so relieved to hear another human being, he turned towards the voice and-

“…Bob?” 

Bob Newby smiled at him, kind and lopsided as always. Except his t-shirt was black with crusted blood, and he was pale, almost blue. “Hi, Steve. Long time no see.” Snapping his fingers – oh god, his left hand was mostly bone, he reached for a bar stool. “Sit down. You can’t put any weight on that foot, at least not until I find a bandage and compress that. It would be better if you could lie down, but at least for now don’t move too much.” 

 Steve just stared at him, familiar and foreign at the same time. He´d known Bob Newby for ages, they weren’t close, but Bob would always recommend the best technology for when Steve had still been brave enough to record his music. “You’ll love this one, Steve, the sound is really much more vibrant,” he’d wink at younger Steve Harrington. “Oh, and I got you a shoe box. An empty one, to carry it home. I know it’s not exactly…well. We all have hobbies we don’t want to share with the world, right? Or at least with some people in it.”

Bob Newby had been dead for two years now. He was mauled by a huge feral dog that attacked young Will Byers and his friends near the junkyard. Bob died a hero – with strength no one knew he possessed, he fought off the aggressive animal long enough for the kids to escape and lock themselves inside an old bus. They saw things they never should have seen, but at least they were alive. 

Steve didn’t want to think about that day, about how he decided to go on a long walk to clear his head after the breakup with Nancy. About how he came across Bob’s body and six terrified voices screaming at him, muffled behind the glass window. About how he heard snarling, how he grabbed the closest thing next to him – a metal rod, rusted but still firm – and smashed the dog’s face in. 

He didn’t want to think about the look on Bob’s bloodied face, pained but also triumphant. 

Bob was unfazed by his silence. He had procured a bandage from somewhere and started wrapping Steve’s ankle with practiced ease. “I hear you avenged me and saved the kids,” he smiled. “I believe thanks are in order.” 

Steve huffed in bitter laughter. “I don’t know about that. If I hadn’t spent half an hour moping about my ex-girlfriend, things would have been different.” 

There it was, that kind smile again. “Sure would be. Maybe I’d still be alive. Or maybe it would have also got you. Then Will and the other children. Ifs don’t help anyone, Steve, so how about you accept the praise where it’s due? You can’t save everyone.” 

It should have been comforting, but the words felt like a punch in the gut. “It feels like I can’t save anyone,” he admitted, more to himself than to Bob. “You from that beast, Nancy from her own family and from myself, Eddie…”

Eddie. 

Bob playfully slapped his calf when he twitched, attempting to stand up. “Patience, Steve. You don’t want to join us here yet, I hope? So let me finish treating your ankle, then you can hop off. But to calm you down...Eddie? Your breathing friend is up.” 

Steve didn’t dare to turn around, but the panicked shuffling and muffled “oh shit. Shitshitshit. Shit shit” gave him a good idea of Eddie’s mental state, and he had to admit, it felt good to be the calm one for once. 

He more felt than saw Eddie saunter towards the old bar, leaning against it behind Bob with a feigned nonchalance. Steve knew that posture all too well, from all the times Eddie was a bundle of nerves but putting on a brave front. “Howdy,” he saluted Steve. He’d tried to clean up a little – rubbing his eyes until he created muddy panda circles around them, removing some smaller roots from his hair and dusting off his vest. It was equally endearing and hilarious. 

Steve opened his mouth to speak, but someone else made it before him. 

“Smooth.” 

The bored voice came from behind Steve. Or more precisely...from behind the bar? 

Eddie snorted and tapped the wooden surface. “If you want to talk, have some manners and get up here.” 

“Easy to say for you, these bones are old. Hey Benny, help me up?” 

Benny – god, another name that rang in Steve’s head with painful familiarity – turned around and shot an amused look towards the ground. “One day I’ll make you your own tiny staircase,” he grumbled and reached down, lifting up…

…a cat. 

No, not any cat. It was black, with greying fur around its muzzle, mostly black except for a greyish triangle near its tail. Steve knew this cat well – he scratched it, no, him, for hours when visiting Mrs. Henderson and her son, Dustin. 

Dart turned his head to the side and nodded. “Hi.” 

Steve raised his hand and slowly waved. “…hi.” He half-expected someone to say something because…the cat talked. He was pretty sure cats weren’t supposed to do that. “Uh…” 

The cat rolled his eyes, if that was even possible. “Yeah, cats talk and the dead have their own bar, keep up. You also fainted when Eddie performed that wonderfully dramatic number for you.” He shot a nasty look at the dead man. 

Eddie couldn’t blush, no blood and all, but he had the decency to look ashamed. “Sorry,” he whispered towards Steve’s injured ankle. 

“You should be,” said Dart and Eddie grew an inch shorter under his critical gaze. “You had it all planned out, you had the perfect opportunity and what do you do? You go all zombie-like on him. If I were Steve, I wouldn’t even want to hear your proposal.” 

“Proposal?” Steve blinked in confusion between Dart and Eddie. “I’m pretty sure it was me who accidentally proposed? I guess…yeah, Eddie still has the ring, so why should he have to propose?” 

Bob finally finished wrapping Steve’s ankle in bandages, and rose to his feet. “You’re engaged? Congratulations!” 

Eddie fiddled with the ring on his finger. “Uh, yeah. So that part? Totally unplanned. Actually, also illegal for us to get married. Twice illegal. Man and man, dead and not dead. So…I’m actually keeping the ring for bargaining purposes.” 

Dart stabbed him with another deadly stare. “You. Could. Have. Just. ASKED.” 

“Doing that now.” For someone who always claimed to be as direct as humanly possible, Eddie was stalling, wringing his hands and staring anywhere else but Steve. “So…uh. Harrington. Not that you especially liked me when I was alive and I guess I didn’t become more charming by dying. But still. You brought me back, you’re just a little bit responsible for disturbing my resting place. And I will forgive you for that and calmly crawl back into the ground…for a price.” 

“A price?” Maybe Steve was as obtuse as they said, but what good would money do in the world of dead? 

Eddie nodded, still hypnotizing Steve’s gradually swelling ankle. “Yep. Price. Not…monetary, no. But I need your help with something. So, a small service from you and I will go back where I belong. And you get this back.” Wiggling his finger, the ring caught light from the dim bar lightbulbs. “So, do we have a deal?” 

Steve nodded almost instantly. “Sure.” 

“And before you say no, you should kn- wait, what?” Eddie’s eyes snapped back to Steve’s face. “Uh. Sorry, there might still be some dirt in my ears.”

Dart laid his paw onto Eddie’s shoulder and slowly extended his claws. “Take the yes and shut up, Eddie.” 

The dark eyes narrowed at the claws. “You know I don’t feel pain.” 

“So you won’t mind me meowling on your grave every single night for the rest of your undead existence?” 

Eddie flinched. “You monster.” 

But Dart just rolled his eyes and returned back to Steve, gesturing at him to provide ear scratches. Flabbergasted, Steve obliged. 

“So, Steve,” started Dart and turned his head towards Steve’s hand, “the thing is…to the left, yes, thank you…this isn’t the proper afterlife, as you might have guessed. This place would be way too crowded. So everyone here waits for something. Has something tying them to the mortal world.” 

Did Steve imagine it or was Eddie slowly shrinking under Dart’s critical gaze? 

“Some just wait for their loved ones to reunite. Some just need to process their anger or grief before they go. And some, Edward Theodore Munson, are utterly, hopelessly and stupidly stubborn!” he growled. 

Yep, Eddie was definitely shrinking. 

“See, some of our residents just have grandiose plans and they decide that they’re not going anywhere before they fulfill them. And no, they don’t let anyone local help them. Because it needs to be perrrfect.” Another growl, another twitch in Eddie’s eyebrow. “So here we are, facing a dilemma. Either Eddie stays here forever and drives everyone crazy with his bitching and moaning, or you step in, save the day and save his soul and everyone’s who has to deal with his constant complaints.” 

Steve didn’t dare to stop the movement of his fingers, not until asked. “I already agreed,” he reminded both of them. “What do I have to do?” 

Dart blinked at Eddie. “Cat got your tongue? Wasn’t me, I swear.” 

The dead man snorted. “Right. So, you might remember…I used to play. The piano, I mean. And the guitar and more, but this is about the piano. And I also put together some music of my own.”

Steve’s heart clenched painfully at the memory. “As if I could ever forget.” As if I could forget the days when I felt like myself for once. 

“Yeah, so…I can’t leave before making sure the music outlasts me. I don’t…I used to have this big, big plan. Record what I have and send it to one guy from Indy I knew. He saw potential in me, told me so right before…yeah.” 

“But…” Steve’s tongue was heavy all of a sudden, stumbling over his words. “You were brilliant. Why don’t you record it yourself? Or is it about technology and stuff? I can get you that.” 

Eddie chuckled with all the bitterness in the world. “Yeah, well. Let’s just say that I tried. I tried and tried and fucking tried, but you know what? It’s just not right.” 

“What do you mean? Because I remember you playing and…I don’t think anyone could get it done better than you, Eddie.” 

Dart sighed and pawed at Steve’s hand, finally letting him rest. “What he means is that dead bodies aren’t really known for their flexibility and dexterity, Steve,” he clarified. “Eddie has been practicing for months now, day and night in this bar. Everyone thinks it’s perfect.” 

“Everyone but him,” Steve guessed and Dart gave him an understanding look. One more memory, Eddie playing in the music room in their school until his fingers hurt, wanting to try just one more time, just that one section that isn’t right, not yet. 

Eddie waved his hand, scoffing. “Oh give me a break. If I’m to follow the light, go to the other side or whatever you want to call it, I want it to be worth it. I’ve been making compromises my whole life, but not here, not fucking now. So here’s the deal, Stevie-boy. We go upstairs – your world, that is – and you’ll practice my music like your life-“ 

“Or marriage,” added Dart mischievously, eyeing the ring on Eddie’s finger. 

“Yes, like they depend on it. And then we’ll record it, send it to my contact with Wayne’s contact info, ownership or whatever.” His voice dropped lower at the mention of his uncle’s name. “And then I’ll give you your precious ring back and move on. Being buried and waiting for the worms to come isn’t my idea of a good time anyway. Deal?” 

Without thinking, Steve offered Eddie his hand. “Deal.” Then his brow furrowed, a telltale sign there was something nagging in his brain. “Well, maybe one request from me. If someone sees us in the world above. Can you…like, can you pretend that we’re actually engaged for that time? Or at least that you’re a vengeful zombie who’s crazy opposed to the idea of marriage and is willing to curse me or drag me to the underworld if I marry anyone within the next few days?” 

Eddie’s jaw dropped. “What?” 

Chapter 4 here

[moonpetrichors-blog]

Gilded Lily

Tags: Lo’ak & Jake Sully, Lo’ak & Neteyam, Oneshot, Angst (Like Heavy), Father Son Feels, Parental Issues, First Person, Written in Lo’ak’s Perspective

Warnings: Major Avatar 2 Spoilers

Always the fool with the slowest heart.

This was a bit rushed so sorry if it’s a bit ehhh 😭 Anyways, I’ve been writing way too much fluff for y’all. Experience some angst.

* ˚ ✦ 529 Words • Read below the cut

╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-╰┈➤ ❝ [31/12/22] ❞  

Neteyam coughed laboriously, attempting to stop the bleeding. I assisted Dad in rolling him across the dirt, propping his head up against a rock.

“It’s okay bro, we got you!”

Dad's gaze flitted over his quivering figure before grasping my hands harshly. “Put pressure on him!”

We crowded around Neteyam's frail body, blood spilling from his chest. He couldn't stop heaving from the agony, and it was apparent he was struggling to breathe. I applied pressure to the bullet wound with my hands, but it wasn't enough. Dad cradled his head, frightened by his son's shuddering form.

“Dad, I...”

Mom spotted what was occurring from the sky and hurriedly swooped her Ikran over, landing nearby while chanting. She broke into a sprint to kneel by Neteyam.

Tears welled up in his eyes as he put his weak hand over mine. “I want to go home...”

I couldn't stop trembling. I strained to contain the tears that were welling up like a torrent. I had to concentrate, why was I always so slow?

Dad promised him we would take him home. We all knew that was a lie.

He continued to quiver beneath my hands, and I couldn't help but stare into his terrified eyes. Neteyam tried to speak, but his voice wouldn't carry. One moment his eyes had life in them, and the next there wasn’t.

Why couldn’t I have done more? Why did it have to be him?

Mom sat there, stunned. “Neteyam...”

In denial, I shook my head. Mom's screams echoed throughout the fire, and all I could do was kneel there and watch. In that moment, I felt completely useless. Dad tried to console her, and I couldn't stop crying. The guilt was too much to bear; everything was my fault. I looked down at the crimson blood smeared over my palms.

His blood was on my hands.

Nothing seemed real anymore. Dad became furious as Mum continued to wail into Neteyam's desolate body, and he flashed me a stern look. I couldn't tear my gaze away.

“Where are your sisters?”

I remained silent. I continued to create problems till the very end. I shot up from my spot when Spider assured him he'd take Dad to find Kiri and Tuk, and Mom took flight in a rage after connecting to her Ikran. Dad ordered me to remain with Neteyam.

I chased after him, desperately trying to get his attention. It was always like that. “Dad, I want to go with you!”

His expression was one of complete and utter disappointment. It was always like that too. “You’ve done enough.”

My heart shattered. I didn't fight him about it because I knew it was my fault Neteyam was killed. I only wanted to save Spider.

I sobbed, but Dad did not return my gaze, and turned away from me. I knew I'd never be as good a son as Neteyam. I knew it should have been me who was shot; I'm the screw up. Why was it that I had to live instead? The one who repeatedly let Dad down?

As he walked away, I kept my eyes fixed on his back.

Haven’t I given enough?

[vinvantae]

Baby Steps

16/26

<<< Previous Part

Warnings - mentions of death, explicit language

***********************************************

“It’s here! It’s here!”

Ben practically skipped into your room - waving the black parcel above his head. They’d made him a prototype of his merchandise for next season and now it was in his hands. You looked up from your phone, before placing it on the bedside table, your hand resting on your bump. His eyes were bright and he had the goofiest smile on his face.

“I know it’s only a small thing but-“

“But nothing, love, I know the little things make it more real for you.” You hummed, smiling kindly at him. “Do a fashion show for me then?”

He peeled the adhesive back and pulled out the jacket; it was a soft shell with a fleece lining, in the bright papaya orange that you both spent most of your life in. He grinned and turned it so the back was facing you, a large 41 emblazoned across the back.

“Look!” His smile was contagious as he unzipped it and pulled it on. “Perfect fit!”

“I’m gonna steal it from you.” You laughed as he did a little twirl. “Wear it all the time.”

“I can’t wait for you to wear our number.” He beamed, walking over to press a gentle kiss to your forehead, his hand coming to rest over yours on his bump. “His first outfit is gonna be a little McLaren babygrow with Daddy’s number on the front.”

“I can’t wait.”

You brushed your hand over the sealed package, the jacket hadn’t been opened again since that day. He had insisted on not wearing it again until he made the team, but that day never came and it broke your heart, so you were going to wear it today.

But you knew that it was going to smell like him. That when you opened the bag his scent was going to fill every part of your senses and you were worried it was going to fade. You had things of his at home but over the years his smell had slowly begun to disappear, especially from the T-shirts you slept in, and the jacket was the one thing you knew would stay the same.

“You don’t have to wear it if it’s going to upset you.” Dan came up behind you, pressing a soft kiss to your shoulder. “You’ve got his old shirt he wore during free practice in your bag too.”

“He always wanted to wear this when he made the team… I feel like I owe it to him to take it to the track, at least once.” You said quietly. “…I just know it’s gonna smell like him. And I know that sounds crazy but-“

“It doesn’t sound crazy, love… when my Nan dropped me off a bunch of sweaters that used to be my Grandpa’s… the smell of him set me right off. Cried my eyes out.” He hummed softly. “Do you want to be alone? I can take Milo out for breakfast.”

“No, I… I think I’d like you here. Just in case I spiral.” You chuckled nervously, taking a deep breath before sliding your finger under the tape to peel it back.

As you pulled back the top, your heart sank - it didn’t smell like him, it didn’t smell like anything. It smelt brand new. You thought that getting to smell him again would be bad, but this hurt like you couldn’t even begin to put into words - but you didn’t have to. Dan could see the look on your face. He simply turned you in his arms and pulled you into his chest as a soft sob escaped you. He had to do something. Anything.

He ran his fingers through your hair, just letting you have a cry while he tried to think of what he could do to fix this. Because today was hard enough for you already, and he wanted to try his best to help you in any way he could.

“Why don’t you hop in the shower, okay?” The driver suggested, pulling back just enough to look down at you, wiping away your tears. “It’ll be okay, I promise. It’s still his number, he’d love it.”

You solemnly placed the jacket down on the bed and disappeared into the bathroom. Dan didn’t waste a second, immediately dialling the only other person he thought might know Ben as well as you.

“Dan, mate, everything alright?” Lewis sounded off guard, he and Dan were always friendly but the Australian barely text him let alone call.

“What aftershave did Ben wear?”

“Uhm..?”

Dan sighed softly, running a hand over his face as he heard the shower start. “Look I haven’t got long to explain, but y/n took Ben’s jacket out for the first time since he died and it doesn’t smell like him… at all. It’s like it’s brand new.”

“Shit.” Lewis cursed. “I actually think I have the same one with me. I’ll be right up.”

If you had told Dan, at the start of the season, that he’d be sneaking Lewis into his hotel room… he probably would’ve laughed, but definitely wouldn’t have believed you. But the small toiletries bag in Lewis’ hand as the Brit stepped into the room, made him feel relieved.

“You got it?”

“Yeah. Like I know it won’t be perfect because they used this fabric softener and stuff as well and he always smelt like that, and he had this moisturiser that she got him…”

“You two were close then?”

Dan didn’t miss the small smile at the corner of Lewis’ mouth. “Yeah, was my best mate. It’s why I gotta take care of y/n, you know? I owe it to him.”

“When you say take care…”

The Brit had to bite back a laugh. “Oh god no. She’s like a sister to me… bro, she’s all yours. Sorry if that wasn’t clear.”

Dan felt a small sense of relief. “I mean it’s hard to believe someone could be just friends with a guy who looks like you.”

“You coming on to me?” Lewis smirked, raising a teasing brow.

The Australian’s cheeks flushed a soft pink. “I mean-“

The drivers were cut off by the sound of the shower turning off and they began to scramble - Lewis fished the aftershave out of his bag and gave the jacket a light spray. “I’ll see you later mate.”

The timing was perfect, just as Lewis dipped out of the room, the bathroom door swung open and you stepped out. “Were you just talking to someone?”

“Nah just myself, wanna go get Milo from Carlos?” He hummed, now stood in front of the mirror, running a small amount of product through his curls.

He held his breath as you moved around the room, the jacket laid out on the bed where you’d left it as you shimmied into some trousers. The driver watched your fingers trace over the fabric before you picked it up and draped it over your shoulders.

You frowned and brought the collar to your nose, the smell of Ben’s aftershave rushing through you. “Wh-what? H-how…”

You pulled the jacket up and nuzzled into the soft fabric, the soft woodsy smell relaxed you - all of the stress you felt before suddenly melted away. You turned to Dan, who still had his back to you, not looking at you in the mirror.

“…how did you do this?” You whispered, stepping up behind him.

The Australian turned around, his large hands finding purchase on your waist. “Does it smell okay?”

“It’s perfect… thank you.” You mumbled, wrapping your arms around his neck and snuggling into his neck.

As he slid his arms around your waist and held you close - it should’ve bothered him that you smelt like another man but this was different. He could feel how relaxed you were, almost like layers of stress had melted out of your tight muscles. The driver traced his fingers up and down your spine. And this wasn’t just another man, Ben was your fiancé, the father of your son and you’d lost him in a tragic way - so he wouldn’t dare try and take those feelings from you.

“Seriously, how did you..?”

“…I called Lewis.” He admitted, blushing a little as you pulled away. “He brought a bottle up for me, luckily he’s staying in this hotel too.”

“So you were talking to someone.” You hummed, stroking the curls at the nape of his neck. “You didn’t have to do this.”

“I know. But I wanted to. I saw how much it upset you, baby.” Dan pressed a chaste kiss to your forehead, before taking your hand in his, checking his watch on his other wrist. “Let’s go get your boy.”

Carlos was staying in a different hotel, thankfully within walking distance so the two of you began to walk over. Dan squeezed your hand gently before letting go, letting your hand fall to your side - still knowing you were cautious about PDA.

As the feeling of his hand left yours, you felt your breath get stuck in your throat - a familiar feeling washed over you as you looked at the driver, one you hadn’t felt in a long time. The feeling you were too scared to get, the feeling you’d been pushing down ever since you met Daniel, but there was just no fighting it any more.

You were falling for him. Hard.

Max was right, not just any man would fly out to apologise to you. Not just any man would get Ben’s aftershave just to cheer you up.

“Wait.”

“Forget something?” Dan asked, looking back, a kind smile on his lips. He stepped closer to you.

You cupped his face in your hands and pulled him down into a kiss. As you moved back, there was a look in his eyes- it was so tender and you felt safe. “There’s something I need to do, before we go to the track today.”

“Oh? Of course, what is it?”

“…I want us to be a thing.” You whispered, meeting his eyes. “I know I’ve been putting it off, and that’s unfair to you but-“

“Hey…” He brought his hand up to your jaw, brushing his thumb across your skin. “I’d wait as long as you needed. Are you sure you’re ready?”

“I am… I’m really falling for you and I’ve not had these feelings for a very long time.” You took his hand. “So, what do you think?”

His face split into a beautiful, bright grin. “You have no idea what it means to hear you saying that. I’m really falling for you, too. I’d love for you to be my girlfriend, y/n.”

“My boyfriend.” Your voice was soft, a smile on your face that the driver hadn’t seen before - it was shy, but your eyes were full of a bright sparkle. “I’m so grateful for you and everything you’ve done for me.”

“And I’d do it all again, a million times over.” Dan hummed, kissing your nose, making you giggle softly - your heart bursting with joy. “Now, the little man is definitely going to be waiting for us.”

“Okay, let’s go.” You took his hand once again, giving it a gentle squeeze.

The two of you carried on walking towards Carlos’ hotel, your hands now comfortably entwined - your hesitancy about PDA long gone. Dan was who you wanted to be with and you didn’t care who knew it.

“So, 41?”

You smiled fondly. “We met on the 4th of January. He was always a sappy shit like that…”

“That’s sweet.”

“He always said that he was racing for us both, that I was in the car with him.” Dan’s arm slipped around your waist as you spoke, holding you close as you spoke. “I really appreciate how cool you are about all of this, not a lot of guys would listen to a girl go on about her dead fiancé…”

He shrugged a little. “He meant a lot to you, he was a big part of your life and I appreciate you feeling comfortable enough with me to talk to me about him.”

You smiled softly. He truly was such a wonderful man and you were so grateful for him. It was scary falling for him but you were more than eager to jump, knowing he’d be there to catch you.

***************************************************

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[sparrowandbee]

Chapter 7 | Chapter 9

The Sparrow: Chapter 8: Goodbye

Synopsis: Marian and Haymitch share their final goodbye before the Games.

Warnings: Mention of alcohol and mention of dying/death.

Author’s Note: Might want to get some tissues out for this one…

Word Count: 1048

Vanilla opted to ride to the arena with Alder, which gave Haymitch and I the chance to bend the rules slightly and have him be my escort into the arena.

The Hovercraft was silent, we were both too caught up in our internal monologues to make conversation. We silently ate breakfast- neither of us were able to stomach much, though, and he didn’t even insist.

Actually we hadn’t spoken since after the interview. I was just glad that he showed up that morning, and seemingly sober (but hungover, nonetheless).

The world was silent as I followed him off the Hovercraft and down a sterile grey hallway, my eyes fixed on his tangled dark hair.

I made sure my black bodysuit was zipped all the way up as my heavy, black-booted steps echoed. It was sleeveless but had plenty of pockets.

It was going to be warm, probably.

I could do warm, I reassured myself despite the knot in my throat.

Haymitch held the door open for me and I was greeted by the sight of a transparent tube at the centre of the small room. It all suddenly felt so real.

This was it. The end.

I turned around to see him standing there, also looking up at the contraption that I'm sure brought back memories he'd rather forget.

All the tears I held in for the last week seemed to spill out like a burst damn- I couldn’t help the violent sobs which escaped me.

I launched myself at him, burying my face in his neck. He held me suffocatingly tight, stroking my braided hair.

Haymitch, who somehow made me laugh in the most despicable place on earth.

Haymitch, who proved to me that goodness exists in this uncaring world.

Haymitch, who made me feel seen and heard for the first time in my life.

He, who armed me with the most dangerous weapon I’d ever held- hope.

I had fought against this vulnerability my entire life, but as I clung to him, I whispered through my tears: “I don’t want to die.”

And despite his hardened exterior, the gruff lines on his face and lingering smell of whiskey, despite the years of training himself not to feel anything or to get attached, he squeezed me harder.

“Hey,” he says, his voice weak from his own tears, “you are smarter than any one of them. You only have to do this once, okay?”

He pulled away, holding my shoulder in one arm and brushing away a small piece of hair that had come undone. His worn hand lingered on my cheek.

“Okay?” He asked again, our bloodshot eyes looking into each other.

I nodded and wiped my tears.

-

It broke my heart because I knew she couldn’t win.

I had deluded myself and I had done everything I swore I wouldn’t.

I had forgotten that this isn’t a game you win- that regardless of how much resolve or ambition, we always end up dead on the ground.

The headstrong woman I had come to know that past week melted away into a scared girl in my arms.

The girl who got a three in training.

The girl who had too much kindness in her heart to slit a throat.

It shattered me completely to see her like this.

No one deserved to be in that position, but Marian’s was the last name that should have been pulled.

-

I smiled now, my eyes still wet. I wanted to show Haymitch that I would try. That I would keep my promise.

He smiled back, sniffling.

“There she is,” he was still holding my cheek. “Now you go in there and run. Forget about supplies, you can steal those later. Just fly under the radar and lay low, just like you do back home. And avoid fighting.”

“Thirty Seconds” the automated voice overhead announced and the elevated pedestal pod opened up as the countdown continued.

“Wait!” I had almost forgotten. From one of the many zippered pockets of my suit I pulled out the handkerchief I had embroidered.

I never knew my hands could create something so beautiful.

The pond where he and Evander played just happened to be my favourite place in the entire district.

Blue flowers bloomed in huge bushes right by the water. The individual flowers were so tiny, but they grew in bunches of five or six all around the pond, thousands to a bush. Together they created a lush ocean of blue and green, shaded by the big trees which housed the sparrows overhead.

I went there often, to listen to the water idle around, pulled by the lazy breeze as the sparrows vocalised with the soft rustling of the bushes.

There was never anyone there but I could imagine Haymitch and Evander splashing around, disturbing the peace with their boyish laughter.

I stitched little blue flowers all around the edge of the white cloth. On one end they met to surround a gold cursive ‘H’. On the other, I wove countless shades of brown and white to create a delicate sparrow. Her wings curving upwards, as if in mid flight.

If I died I hoped to become a sparrow by the pond.

To sing a beautiful song and watch over the man I’d come to love when he wept surrounded by little blue flowers. I’d hoped I’d be able to comfort him somehow.

On the left of the sparrow I embroidered my initial in the same gold thread and on the other side, E.E. - Ephra and Evander. So he would remember all the people that loved him. That despite the distance, we would always be by his side.

I smiled and turned away from him as I stepped onto the pedestal.

I couldn’t cry anymore, now was the time to fight.

I straightened my back and began my ascent.

-

“Your M” read the tag, in her neat cursive. Tied onto a handkerchief by a pink silk ribbon I recognized.

I watched her leave and held back my tears. I had felt too much, I couldn’t cry anymore.

I indelicately shoved the gift into my pocket, unable to face it now.

Unable to face that bright soul, full of humanity and love who was just taken from me.

Instead I pulled out my flask and took a deep swig, inviting the sting down my throat. I didn’t stop until it was empty.

I couldn’t believe that it was all happening all over again.

—

Next Chapter

Masterlist

[arickaandherfictionalothers]

I’d fight anyone for you

(Aricka x Ricky)

(After Ricky gets upset when someone insults him, Aricka comforts her best friend.)

(Best friend shoutout to Dori aka @yeehawselfshipping for being so amazing as always, for helping with Ricky’s dialogue and making me a gif just for this fic! You mean the world to me, I’m so blessed to know you.)

Aricka helped Ricky sit down, braced her hands on his arms. The night went from great to terrible in the time it takes to take a breath. Ricky was called something that hurt him. Resulting in him losing his temper and- well- accidentally beheading someone. But it wasn’t on purpose. He didn’t expect it to happen. And now they were dealing with the fallout.

“Ricky he was lying, just breathe, it’s okay. It’s me; it’s Aricka; just calm down, honey. It’s okay.” She soothes, rubbing her arms up and down his shoulders.

But Ricky wasn’t hearing it.

"IT'S NOT OKAY!" Ricky yells. He tries to steady his breathing, but he's too worked up at the moment, "He wasn't lying! I mean, LOOK AT ME!"

“Ricky he doesn’t MATTER-!” She exclaimed. “To the people who love you IT DOES NOT MATTER what you look like. I’ve told you that.” She grips his hands. “I keep telling you that. To me, you are perfect. I could care less what you look like. I’m more interested in your health, if you’re safe if you’re happy, not if you look like you stepped off the cover of a model magazine.” He was still struggling to grasp his control, but she kept speaking, “What if our roles were reversed? Hm? What if it was me in your place. Would you- would you let them treat me like they’re treating you? That’s why I’m upset. He called you something false and you’re upset about it and I can’t do ANYTHING about it. You need to take a step back and BREATHE, Ricky.” She touches his face, wiping some of the goo from his eyes. It stuck to her hands but she could care less.

Ricky tries to do as Aricka says. He takes longer, albeit shaky breaths. As his anger starts to fade, tears begin to well up in his eyes. He buries his face in his hands, falling to his knees. His breaths turning into sobs.

Aricka’s hands clench into fists briefly before wrapping her arms around him, sinking to her knees to hold him better. “It’s okay,” she whispered. The heat gone from her voice. “You’ve been put through something terrible and everything is upside down and I’m so sorry. I wish it was me in your place. You didn’t mean anything, I know you didn’t. I’m on your side Ricky. I’d fight anyone for you. Just take a minute and breath. It’s okay.”

Ricky rests his head on her shoulder, letting more tears fall before he speaks up again, "As much as I hate this," he takes a shaky breath before he can continue, "I'm glad it happened to me and not you. I don't know what I would've done if Elijah turned you into a freak instead."

“You’d have fought to protect me like I am right now-,” she whispered, her hand in his hair, the other wrapped around his middle. “Cause it’s us. And we fight for each other. You’re my dearest friend Ricky, and I hate seeing you so upset. I wish I was any closer to finding an antidote.” She felt a sense of loathing as she realized the longer Ricky was like this the more despondent they both felt.

Aricka was about five minutes away from marching right up to Elijah and giving him a piece of her mind. Consequences be screwed. “Ricky..” she whispered. Unsure of what else to say. “We can’t give up.”

"I know," he sighs, "I know."

“… so what now?”

"I'm not sure. Guess we keep trying to figure out how to make an antidote? We can go back to the shed, talk with the others, and see if we can come up with anything."

“Okay.” She nods. Hugs him one more time. “I’m going to fix this. I keep my promises. It’s going to all be over soon.”

“I know you will.”

“Okay then. Let’s go find the others and get some sleep. You look exhausted- you need to sleep.”

"I am exhausted," he gives a weak chuckle, "After, y'know... what just happened."

“So we talk, we plan; I leave, you sleep. Four things.. simple enough. We can’t risk Elijah finding me this late in the game.”

Ricky sighs, "Okay."

“I’ll be here first thing in the morning. With a trial of my antidote.”

"Alright. And be careful working with that stuff, okay? I don't want anything happening to you while you're trying to save us."

“I always wear my protective gear. I’m safe. I’m even wearing safety goggles OVER my glasses.”

"That's good to hear."

“You’re worth the slight fuzziness the giggles give my vision.”

They share a laugh- the best sound she’d heard all day; Ricky laughing after what he just went through- and she helps him stand. “I’m here. Always.”

“I know you are. And believe me, you make this situation a lot easier to handle than if you weren’t here.” She takes his hand- the left hand- and they make their way to the freak house, where the others were waiting. They talk for a while; and soon Ortiz and Ricky were sneaking her out of the house to her car, making sure she was safe from prying eyes, then heading back for the night.

Tomorrow would be a day of challenges. They would need all the sleep they could get.

~~~~~~

@astralshipper @rosieshipper @hyperionshipping @letsgofoletsgo @tsundere-selfship @callsign-revenge

[0sincerelyella]

Joe Locke request!! This one is platonic but can you write from a fem/girl pov about a bad boyfriend getting mean and loud and angry (no physical violence) bc she forgot to order the right take away or something and the fem friend calls Joe crying with shouting in the background by accident when she’s trying to fix it and Joe comes to get her from the bad bf’s place and just comforts and reassures her.

He doesn’t deserve you -Joe Locke

Summary: y/n is in a bad situation, and joe will do anything to protect his best friend

Notes: as someone who just got out of a breakup and semi toxic relationship and didn’t have friends to lean on these platonic ones ARE SO HEALING TO ME. i hope you enjoy!!

warnings: yelling, mentions of violence, mentions of vomiting

she loved him. she loved him more than anything. and he loved her, that was all that mattered. that’s what she told herself everyday.

y/ns boyfriend Nate had anger issues. though he wasn’t a hurtful person, he didn’t want to hurt y/n, sometimes his anger over the smallest of things got the best of him.

on this particular day, his car keys was missing. He had woken up, ready to go out and have a good day, and he had misplaced his car keys. y/n however, was doing everything in her power to go about her day.

she knew if she spoke, or tried to help, or stepped on a creaky floor board he would start to yell at her because he wasn’t thinking straight. that was it, he just wasn’t thinking straight.

y/n stood in the bathroom, brushing her hair. She was mixing her business as things slammed and cuss words flew throughout the apartment. she had to help him, she couldn’t stand seeing him so angry, it hurt her.

“babe?” she asked quietly. He stopped everything he was doing to look at her, hoping she had found his keys. “uhm, you were pretty angry last night did you leave them in the car?” she was quiet with her answer. he didn’t even consider it

“what kind of idiot leaves their keys in the car?!” and the yelling began. “i was just trying to help there is no need to snap at me!” she said, frustrated with his behavior. “then don’t give me stupid answers!” she scoffed. which only then led to more yelling and slamming of objects. the apartment was a mess.

y/n stood in the living room as she watched him tear the house apart. “your so useless!” he screamed. she stepped back, her breathing became heavy. sure he’d gotten angry from time to time, but he’d never insult her “what?” she could see the instant regret on his face. he walked forward, outreaching his arm to her, to which she flinched.

“oh baby i’d never hit you” he promised. she shook her head, pointing towards the door as her heart sped up. “go..” heavy breathing “check your car.” he listened, running to the car. only moments later she heard the door slam as loud as possible, and profanities being screamed. he found his keys. just where y/n said they’d be

as he walked back into the apartment, his face was so sad. “i’m so so sorry y/n i didn’t-“

“your gonna be late for work” her breath was shaky and she was hyperventilating. nate nodded. “i’ll be back later, i’m so sorry, i love you” he knew now wasn’t the time for a kiss, so he walked out of the house.

mad soon as the door shut, y/n chucked her phone at the wall, falling infront of the couch. she sobbed hysterically, almost bringing herself to vomit.

she was not calming down. she felt her world caving in.

about ten minutes later, y/n heard a knock on the door. terrified that it was nate, she quickly whipped the tears and opened the front door

to her surprise it was joe. her bestfriend

“what are you doing here?” she asked, panicked.

“you called me, and all i heard was your crying. i came as soon as possible” he hugged her immediately. “no i’m fi-“

“no you arnt” he insisted. he forced his way into the apartment and stopped at the mess that was made for y/n to clean up. “oh he is gonna get what’s coming to him” joe said through gritted teeth.

“tell me what happened” he said, leading her to the couch. “and cry as much as you want” he said, hugging her.

so she did

she explained everything

how she was scared to marry him or commit to him without him hurting her some day on the future.

she explained how tired she was of being afraid and then getting apologies later

she has learned to hate apologies after hearing them as much as she did

joe held her as she cried, promising to protect her with all he had. “he doesn’t deserve you babe, no one does” she laughed “no one but you joe” she said.

she would be nowhere without her best friend

as a few hours go by, y/n and joe watch movies in the living room, not bothering to clean anything from the earlier out burst.

the door opened, and nate walked through the door. “baby i’m home!” he said. “i wanted to talk” he walked into the living room, only to be met with a sleeping y/n, laying her head on joes lap.

“you have some nerve coming back here” joe whispered. nate sighed, putting his keys on the counter. “i live here joe” “your lucky she didn’t kick you out. you treat her horribly.”

“i know i do, don’t you think i know that? i’m not trying to hurt her i can’t help it” he said, begging to pick some things off the floor.

“how can you not help being an absolute horrible boyfriend? you need therapy.” nate slammed his hand on the counter “you can’t tell me what i need! it’s none of your business” he yelled, y/n flinched.

“Y/n is my everything. she’s my best friend. and your hurting her!”

“what’s going on?” y/n woke up from her nap, and stood immediately “nate, hi i’m so sorry i didn’t clean” she scrambled to continue to clean the living room “no babe it’s okay” nate reached out to touch her and she flinched. “you don’t need to suck up to him” joe said, stepping in front of his best friend

the anger in nate’s face rose, and he grabbed joes arm. y/n screamed as nate tried to yank joe away. that was the final straw.

“no. we’re done get out” he pleaded and cried but y/n was done.

once nate was gone, joe sat once again on the couch with y/n in his lap, crying against his chest. “i love you so much y/n. he didn’t deserve you, he wasn’t good enough” she nodded, blowing her snot into his shirt.

“y/n!” he giggled, y/n laughed happily. “sorry that was icky”

“yes. that was incredibly icky”

[astrolionking]

Stranger (Short Lightyear One Shot)

Warning: Lightyear Spoilers along with themes of abuse, manipulation and slight Stockholm Syndrome

(Also Sox is a humanoid robot in this AU)

_________

“— But let’s be honest, Sox, this was all your fault.” Buzz said with a chuckle. At least Sox thought he was Buzz… he looked at the former Ranger but didn’t see Buzz. The man who was so hopeful and cared for others was gone and there stood… an imposter. A monster impersonating his friend. Impersonating Buzz.

“You stood there like a deer in headlights.” Buzz continued as he held Sox’s face still. Sox almost wanted to pull back but tried to relax as Buzz tried to fix any permanent internal damage. “You know how angry I can get.”

“I’m sorry.“ Sox replied immediately. Why was he apologizing…? This wasn’t an accident…

Buzz threatened him so many times. He said this would happen one day. And it happened. And Sox didn’t do anything…

Was it his fault…?

“I forgive you. I’d say sorry too but technically, I did nothing wrong. This…” Buzz held Sox’s face by his chin tightly, holding the destroyed half of his face up. “… was long overdue. You understand that, right?”

“Yes, sir…”

“Good.“ Buzz let go of Sox’s face and finished up repairing him. “I think I like this look, though.”

“What…?”

“I think I’ll keep it like this. As a reminder.”

Reminder…

“Of…?”

“Of who’s in charge, of course. And what will happen to you if you fall out of line.”

“But I wasn’t—“

“Shhhh…” Buzz said softly. Sox felt like emptying his insides. But he kept quiet, looking away.

“Sit up for me.”

Sox sat up, looking down as his own hands. After a moment of Buzz doing nothing, Sox watched as Buzz’s larger hand held his smaller ones.

“Look at me.”

He did.

Buzz wasn’t there. Sox looked him right in the eyes and Buzz just wasn’t there. This was a stranger. A much older and worn out stranger.

“And you can see clearly?”

“Kind of… but I can see just fine…”

“Good.”

Sox looked back down at his hands, silently praying that Buzz will leave him alone. That was shot down the second Buzz held his chin once again, only gentler this time, to make him look at him again.

“I love you.“ He said. “Y’know that, right?”

Sox stood silent. He just nodded.

“Say it back... please?” So desperate.

He didn’t want to. He REALLY didn’t want to…

He loved the Buzz he met over 100 years ago. He loved the man who cared for his friends and people. He loved the one that did all he could you make sure people were safe. He loved the one that promised to finish the mission that will get everyone home safely…

Sox loved Buzz.

“I love you.” Sox forced out.

Buzz gave him a satisfied smile. “Good robot.”

Sox couldn’t cry but he felt an overwhelming urge to sob. He let out a cry and held onto the only thing there. Buzz.

Buzz held him gently, one hand on the robot’s back and the other on his head. “There, there… everything will be okay… I’m here. And I’ll always be here.”

Buzz then gently pushed Sox away and lied him back down on the ‘operation’ table.

“Now, recharge. I’ll check on you later.”

Sox just stared up at the ceiling for a long moment before nodding. “Thank you.”

“Of course.”

He felt a soft kiss on his forehead before Buzz left he room, the heavy doors slamming shut.

Sox didn’t look at the outlet. He wanted his battery to die out so he’d spent at least some time away from Buzz’s tormenting.

Sox wanted to kick, to scream and cry, to break himself apart beyond repair. He wanted to run away. But where would he go? Home? He didn’t have one! Nor did he have a ship to leave on. He knew if he tried to steal one of the small ships, he’d get caught by the Zurg robots and Buzz will beat him almost beyond repair. Worst part is that Buzz would put him back together and let him suffer further.

Sox could try to float in the endless abyss of space and Buzz wouldn’t even let him have that.

He couldn’t leave…

He missed the old Buzz. His Buzz.

He felt exhausted…

His eyes flashed low battery symbols before he felt himself shut down completely.

[ardynsflower]

Karl. H. /« You don’t really think it you just want my pity. »/

———

Yes I always deadly wanted to write for him but always thought my tries weren’t good enough. But i like this one so…may delete it later tho. Lemme know if you have any ask in mind.

Its angst/fluff. The title says it all i think. Have a nice day/evening.

———

Heisenberg was a lonely man. Not only he thought he would die alone without anyone by his sides, but he made himself accept the fact that nobody would love an old crazy man, turned into a "monster".

What a joke with you coming to his factory.

Miranda indeed gave you the cadou, sadly, he thought. You were useless to her, the cadou just made you unworthy for that sacred bitch. Sometimes, when night came in your home like part of the factory where you got send to, you got nightmares about what happened that day. But somehow, Karl has always been there to help with it. It made you confused the first times Heisenberg got you water and covered your ears to stop that voice he can’t stand, but you learned to be grateful.

And now, were back at the actuality of your life with him.

Too many times, you’ve let slide that you liked him in a certain way, just the fact that you were still here for him was hard to understand. He always thought you would try to leave anyway. But you didn’t. To come back to reality, you never really wanted to say any "strange" things, but you did, and sadly that one day, you weren’t very lucky with that reunion he had with Miranda and the other Lords.

He came back, angry as hell, the anger ate him without a little part of calme staying. He was furious. Got into "an anger crisis" as you called it. You tried to talk to him to help, but all he did was ignoring you without wanting so. He genuinely loved you, i promise but it wasn’t his day. So you tried sweet compliments, and accidentally said "I love you Karl, i’m for you" and it almost mentally killed your mental when he turned his anger to you.

He screamed that you were bothering him, being too much stress, too much kindness and he couldn’t support you, that he hated it. And many other things…You knew that he wasn’t serious, his emotions for the other lords and Miranda were talking for him.

And all of a sudden, everything got silent, he was very close from you. He could obviously see the silent tears going and going on your surprised face, you looked traumatised honestly. He would have laughed a bit if it wasn’t in that situation.

He plunged your face in his chest, giving you a projective hug while you were still sobbing. Were you really that bothering? Were you really too much stress ? Were you really that useless ? You thought. Karl did a mess with you and regretted it. He regretted it with all of his heart and soul.

The silence became loud. Too loud. He started talking.

« I’m sorry. But I know you don’t really think it, you just want my pity. »

It hurts, his heart felt.

You immediately got out of his chest, fixing him, still surprised but not from the same thing. Wait, do he really think i lie ? I gotta get him out of those thoughts and confess for the last time, it hurts too much now.

« Karl, i genuinely love you. You may be the angry monster old man you think you are, but i don’t think so. I saw you soft side. I saw the reality of your person. Gosh, i’d let you see what i see if i could. If only i could. I love everything about you. You’re a genius, pretty charming, interesting and gentle old man. Yes, sometimes you may be kinda harsh, but i love you as who you are, not who people see or who you think you are. I love you, Karl Heisenberg. »

The fact that Ethan Winters saw the lord softly kissing a women from far in the factory, made him change view on the old man.

———

Im sorry omg i wrote what came to my mind, sorry if it’s bad 🫠🫶🏻.

[pistachiophobia]

[4:42 PM]

stars glimmered like ice in a sea of darkness, flickering silver and gold as a comet shot across the sky, illuminating the sky for a moment. the streets were filled with empty cars and parking lots, the last bus departing to brooklyn.

all the pay phones were empty, save the one you were leaning on inside. one by one, all the lights switched off, except the one right above you.

it took you a few seconds to realize you were the only one outside. even pigeons, who flew by or stuck around on power lines, didn’t even come tonight. you rummage in your pocket, looking for any spare coins you still had left.

lucky for you, fifty cents was all you needed. you insert the coins into the machine, pressing several buttons till you pressed a red button. it rung for a few seconds until…

“hello?” you hear a voice on the other side, “who is this?”

“it’s me.”

there was a long pause, and you feel like you’ve made a mistake. you didn’t even think he would answer, but you were glad he did. you heard light breathing and you were sure he was in bed, under the covers.

“why are you calling me?”

“i just wanted to know if you’re doing fine.” you respond, “it’s been quite a while since we’ve talked.”

silence. if you dropped a pin outside, you could hear it from the pay phone.

“i hope you’ve made it to harvard, i know you’ve been working so hard to study there. harvard really is a great place.”

“yeah, i did. i have to go now.”

“wait, please!” you choked back on your sobs, “just..hear me out! please!”

“y/n, you’ve crumbled what was left of our relationship. i know you want to mend this relationship, but you can’t. it may have been possible a few months ago, but not now.”

“please, give me a chance.” you whispered, tears cascading down your rosy cheekbones. “i promise you, we can do whatever you want. whatever you need to fix this, i’ll do it. just please come back.”

“i’m so sorry, y/n, but i can’t, not like this. we can still be friends, but we can’t have the same relationship as before. goodbye.”

“no.” you choked. this couldn’t be the end. it can’t be the end. you felt shock and chill in your bones as goosebumps appeared on your skin and hot tears flooding down your bloodshot eyes. your body was shaking as you felt your limbs growing weak.

you couldn’t accept that he was gone. that he was never coming back. you missed his hazel brown eyes and his honey skin and the way he’d call for you at 4 AM. because he was like that. because you broke something that can’t be fixed. your eyes are droopy and you can’t take it anymore.

you end up falling asleep in the pay phone, your hair all over your face. before you know it, the sun rises across the horizon, painting the sky a lovely golden hue, like a renaissance painting.

you hear a quiet ding from your phone. you thought s/o would have deleted your number, so you ended up deleting his two days ago. you never expected he’d reply.

but it wasn’t the reply you wanted. you were his past to a brighter future. you’re stuck living in your past while s/o makes his own future. he thinks of you, and wished you the best of luck.

this is s/o, i just want you to know that i’m deleting your number. i know it’s sudden, but until we can be friends, i’d rather restart as strangers than try to fix something that’s already broken.

[blu-joons]

When He Comforts You During A Panic Attack ~ TXT Reaction

Yeonjun:

Tight arms flew around your frame as soon as Yeonjun noticed you beginning to get dizzy, listening to your breathing hitch several times. He stayed with you for some time, refusing to let you go until he heard your sobs quieten down as he pressed you into his chest.

“It’s alright,” Yeonjun reminded you in a whisper again and again, keeping himself as close to you as possible to make sure that you didn’t feel alone.

You held on tightly to Yeonjun, giving yourself the time that you needed before pulling away from his chest. “Thank you,” you whispered up to him.

Yeonjun’s head shook back at you as he ran his hand along the length of your back, keeping his eyes focused on you. “You don’t have to say thank you, we both need each other from time to time. Do you want to tell me what brought all of this on?”

“Not yet,” you sighed, with Yeonjun understanding completely how you felt, “I think I just want to forget about what’s just happened for a while?”

“How about we do something?” He offered, “try and put that smile back on your face again.”

“I’d like that a lot, thank you Yeonjun.”

Soobin:

As your breathing began to get heavy beside Soobin, his eyes caught you more and more. Slowly, he noticed you getting a bit flustered, but as you entered the crowd, you lost control, barely able to catch your breath, with wide eyes searching around for some safety.

“Y/N, I got you,” Soobin spoke, tightening his hold on your hand, pulling you back out of the hall that the company dinner was being held in.

Before you knew it, you were back outside, with Soobin stood in front of you, hands on his shoulders. “W-what happened?” You stuttered.

Soobin’s head shook for a moment, continuing to help you breathe, replying only once he was sure that you were alright. “You had a panic attack Y/N, your breathing got all irrational, I think you were a little overwhelmed by everything going on inside.”

“I’m sorry,” you whispered back to him, “this is your evening for work, I shouldn’t be here holding you back,” you told him, but Soobin dismissed you.

“Take all the time that you need,” he assured you, “you’re more important than anything in there.”

“I just need a minute, then I promise that I’ll be alright.”

Beomgyu:

Your body flew up when you looked across to see that the space beside you was empty, beginning to worry about where Beomgyu was. As your panic attack hit you, everything else shut down, not realising the bathroom light go off, and your bedroom door open up.

“Y/N?” Beomgyu panicked as he walked into the room to see you sat up in the middle of the bed, struggling for breath, “Y/N, I’m right here.”

Beomgyu sat himself right in front of you, holding on tightly to your arms so that you could see that he was there. “W-where were you?” You asked him.

He gave you a moment, noticing you beginning to calm as you realised that Beomgyu was back with you, safe and unharmed. “I just went to the toilet, I knew I shouldn’t have had that last cup of coffee before we came up to bed,” he joked with you.

“Are you alright?” You nervously asked him, wanting to be sure that your thoughts were only thoughts, and that nothing had really happened.

“I’m fine,” Beomgyu promised, wiping underneath your eyes, “the main thing is, are you alright?”

“I am now that you’re back, I thought you’d gone.”

Taehyun:

His hands were careful as Taehyun wiped underneath your eyes as you began to settle, making sure to clear as many of your tears as he could. The room was quiet, which you appreciated as Taehyun helped to calm you down after getting in a panic over dinner.

“I can always tell my family that we can rearrange,” Taehyun suggested, trying his best to fix the situation for you and make you comfortable.

Your head shook back at him as Taehyun intertwined his hand in with yours, “we can’t cancel, I feel a lot better, I think I just needed a moment to stress.

Taehyun was a little apprehensive, wanting to trust what you said, but noticing the look in your eyes. “They won’t mind, I can even blame it on me, tell them that something’s come up at work, so they think that it’s my fault, they won’t be mad at me.”

“I’m alright,” you assured Taehyun, much more confidently, “dinner with your family is something that you, we, have been looking forward to.”

“As long as you’re sure,” he sighed, “but if you change your mind at any point, then tell me.”

“I will, I promise, but I’m sure that things will be fine.”

Huening Kai:

His heart sunk as Kai came downstairs to find you clutching onto the kitchen counter, doubled over as you tried your best to breathe. His hand wrapped around you as soon as he got to you, pulling out one of the kitchen chairs, helping you across to take a seat on it.

“Stay there,” he told you, racing across to the sink to pick up a glass of water and fill it up before carrying it over to you, placing it before you.

Your shaky hand reached out and picked up the glass, taking a couple of small sips from it. “Sorry,” you murmured, as things around you began to ease.

Once he saw the colour reappear on your face, Kai took a seat beside you, holding on tightly to your hand. “What happened? I only left you alone for a couple of minutes,” he frowned, brushing the pad of his thumb against the back of your hand slowly.

“I don’t really know,” you admitted, taking another sip of water, “this wave of panic just hit me, and I don’t even know what it was about, it just came.”

“Do you feel alright now?” Kai asked, searching to meet your eyes, “is there anything on your mind?”

“I think I’m alright, thanks to you taking care of me.”

---

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