#they're. a burger. what the hell.

[m340700]

so i'm trying to figure out how to make a single dca mask where i just spin a part of the face plate and retract the rays to turn sun into moon (hence the several layers) and.

Burger

[pyrokineticqueen]

Halfway through the 8th episode of young leif. I'll finish the show before I go to sleep tonight and I am not ready for it 😭 Watch me go into a post-podcast depression for the next few days.

[baphofemme]

love lukewarm pickles

[mammonsrockstargf]

"Fuck, the things I wouldn't do for a cheeseburger right now,"

Beelzebub's attention is immediately on you, his eyes twinkling red. "We can go to Hell's Burger after this, then," he says, eager to oblige with any and all requests you make. The fact that it involves food only entices him further. You sigh and shake your head, much to his confusion.

"No, Beel, like a real burger," you say, resting your head in your hands, elbows on your desk. You're sitting at the back of the class, so your teacher doesn't notice that neither of you is particularly focused. Beelzebub's eyebrows furrow in confusion. "Hell's Burger's burgers aren't real?" he mumbles, and you smile apologetically at him, shaking your head.

"Sorry, Beel, I just..." You stop for a second, reminiscing about your favourite burger restaurant. Beel waits patiently for you to sort out your thoughts, although the talk of burgers has increased the never-ending rumble of his stomach.

"I just crave a human-world burger that doesn't have the word death or poison in the name or has 4,000-year-old cheese in it," you say and pout at him. "I want a proper burger, with normal cheese, and lettuce, and pickles." Your rant is interrupted by the loud noise of Beel's stomach, so loud that the entire class turns to look at you for a second before realising it's just Beel. The teacher sighs and resumes the lesson. Your brows furrow in concern. "You got any lunch left, big guy?" you ask, and Beel shakes his head while holding onto his stomach.

Without looking up from his book a single time, Satan, sitting in front of you, reaches down into his bag and pulls out his lunch, giving it to Beel. Beel gratefully accepts it, with a sheepish look.

"Thanks, bro."

Your craving for a real cheeseburger doesn't go away, but you resolve to not tell Beel about it after his... expressive reaction. That's until three days later when Beels is pulling you down the street by your hand. "Beel, where are we going?" you ask, but he just smiles at you, grinning from ear to ear. "Mmmh, it's a surprise," he says. You don't realize where you are until you're standing in front of the passage that you've used a couple of times before. The seal to the human realm.

"What's going on?" you ask. Beel shrugs. "Got permission from Lucifer to take you to a real burger place," he says, and you stare at him in awe. "Beel, that's really nice of you," you say, and he smiles. "Yeah, yeah, thank me later."

Before you know it, you're pulled into the passage with a squeal.

The great thing about going out with Beel is that there is absolutely no shame when it comes to ordering food. The demon is as shameless as a baby. The more the two of you order, the more the cashier in front of you seems to pale. Pretty much every burger on the menu is ordered, several portions of fries, every single dip, 20 chili cheese tops, 3 milkshakes (one for each flavour), 2 sodas, chicken wings-

"Oh, Beel, you gotta taste this one, it's the best," you say, pointing at the menu. The cashier begrudgingly adds it to your total. "Anything else I can do for you?" they ask, and you smile apologetically at them. "I think we're good for now," you say, pinching Beel's arm, before he begins ordering any more. He closes his mouth and blinks at you. You wonder how long he would continue to order if you didn't stop him.

"Will you be eating here or taking it with you?" The cashier asks, and they raise their brows when you tell them you'll be eating it there. Probably wondering how two people can eat that much food.

You honestly can't even blame them, but it's not like you can explain that they're dealing with the Avatar of Gluttony. Beel doesn't even seem to notice the cashier's judgment when he pulls out Lucifer's card and pays for the food.

You find a secluded table and sit down. It feels almost too normal to be back in your own world, sitting at a fast-food restaurant. Beel notes your nostalgia and grabs your hand. You smile at him. "Truly, Beel, thank you for this. I needed it," you say, and once again, Beel just shrugs.

"Figured it was the least I could do," he says. "You've done so much for us, always getting caught in me 'n my brother's fights," he mumbles and begins to rub soothing circles into your wrist. You sit like that in comfortable silence for a while before you lean over the table to place a chaste kiss to his lips. Beel's belly grumbles, and he leans over to chase your lips, but you're interrupted when three workers come over and place an insane amount of food on your table. You smile at Beel and shrug when he makes a disappointed noise.

"We're definitely getting dessert after this, right?" he asks, still oblivious to the judgmental stares from the restaurant workers, but you find yourself not caring either when you grin mischievously.

"How about I'll be your dessert?"

Thanks for reading! Find my other stuff here. Divider by @/cafekitsune

[the-froschamethyst4]

Ex’s and Oh’s

𖤐Paring: Ex Husband! Ghost x Ex Wife! F! Reader

𖤐Pronouns: She/Her

𖤐AN: Sorry, it has taken me so long to post this, I've been busy and struggling with writers block for a while, it was hard to think of a way to start this story and also trying to not make it boring as well. Anyways, I hope you all will enjoy the fic version of headcanon

𖤐Based On: ex-husband-simon

𖤐Warnings: fluff, smut, language, ex's to lovers, children, kissing/making out, more use of Simon, abusive relationship,

𖤐Summary: Divorce is hard, and Simon didn't know it at all, he loved his ex-wife and did everything he could to be there for his kids

————

————

Simon waits in the driveway for his kids, Silas the oldest child and Luna his youngest. He remembers this house his first house he's ever bought with his now ex-wife Y/n.

Y/n had given Simon divorce papers because she was always worried about Simon when he was away on deployment. When she was pregnant with Luna, she couldn't handle the stress.

He watches the front door open and his kids come rushing out, Luna hugging Simon's legs and Silas hiked his bags into the back seat of his fathers truck.

"Come on, kids," Simon says, he turns and sees Y/n in the doorway being hold by her new boyfriend, Duncan. Simon couldn't stand him.

Duncan just leeched off of Y/n. Her money, home, food, he didn't pay bills, he was basically a roommate. Y/n tried to get Duncan many jobs but he never lasted then 4 days.

That was all information from Silas and Luna.

Simon looks at his kids helping Luna into her car seat.

"Daddy, can we go to the Zoo?" Luna asked.

"Maybe next weekend," Simon tells her.

"But I wanna go today."

"Not today baby."

"Why?"

"Because...it's close for cleaning."

"The Zoo isn't closed," Silas jumps in.

"Yes it is," Simon says, looking at his son to be quite. At the moment Simon didn't have anything plan with his kids, he just wanted to relax with his children and help them with homework if they needed it.

"Daddy?" Luna looks up at him.

"Not today," he says again. He shuts the door.

"I'm sorry for the last minute pick up," Y/n walks to her ex-husband.

"It's okay.

Y/n had a meeting and she didn't trust...Duncan. Sure they're dating and all, but she trusts Simon a lot more than Duncan.

"I can't believe you asked him to do it...I'm surprised he even agreed," Duncan says, watching Simon pull out of the driveway. Duncan acts like Simon is a dead-beat father when he's not, Simon works and barely even gets to see his kids.

And Duncan doesn't even help out with the kids, the week ago, Silas needed to be picked up from football (Soccer) and Duncan "forgot" and Luna was home but locked out of the house and didn't know if anyone was home or not.

"What the hell do you mean? Simon is a good father, this isn't his first time picking up his children," Y/n says.

"But like...I'm surprised really," he chuckles.

"Duncan, he's not a dead-beat father," Y/n says.

"Sure, he is, sees his kids 40 days out of the year."

"He...works Duncan, unlike you," she says. "I need to get going."

"Can't believe you married that guy too, seems like an asshole."

"He never was!" Y/n stood up for her ex-husband but why? She's the one who gave him the divorce papers, why is she standing up for him? Because she still loves him.

Duncan was a distraction for Y/n, she still loved Simon, but couldn't bring herself to tell him that, she thought if she had a boyfriend maybe her mind will love him instead but it wasn't, she still loved Simon, and she'll defend him even if he doesn't want her to, she'll still do it for him.

Duncan also doesn't know he's a 'distraction' he thought Y/n did like him.

----------

Simon looks at his son and daughter in the rearview mirror they were eating their chicken nuggets or small cheese burger. They were hungry since Simon had picked them up around lunch time.

"How's everything?" Simon asked them.

"Good." Luna says.

"Amazing," Silas says.

"Good," Simon says as he starts to drive to his apartment complex.

Simon parked in his usual parking spot and he helps his kids out of the back seats of his truck. They head to the elevators and hit the 5th floor button going up.

Luna played with the toy she just got and Silas played with his. Once the door opened Luna headed to the apartment door and Silas walked with Simon holding his bag as Simon carried his daughters bag.

Simon opens the door and his kids rushed in going to their rooms grabbing more toys and dragging them to the living room that Simon cleaned just for them to mess it up again.

Simon smiles at his kids and jumps in to play with them, he jumps from playing Monster Trucks and Wrestling to Princesses and Pet Shops.

He likes to play with his kids, enjoying how they play and missed all times him and Silas use to play with each other, before Luna was born, he didn't play with her as much because of the divorce.

He lays on his back and Luna sits on his stomach, she pats his toned chest and was using his chest as a mountain for her Barbies to play mountain climber, he knew he had a big chest but he didn't think it was that big.

"Daddy, stop breathing it's messing with my Barbies."

"Baby, I can't just stop breathing," he chuckles which now causes his chest to bounce.

"Daddy," she groans.

"Okay, okay, I'll stop laughing, but I can't stop breathing," he smiles.

"Dad," he looks at his son, but he was looking at him upside down.

"Yes, buddy?"

"I don't like mama's new boyfriend," Silas says.

"You don't?"

"Yeah," Luna now jumps in. "He yells at us sometimes, even for nothing."

"Yelling at you? Are you sure it's just because you two might have...I don't know actually done something wrong?"

"Daddy, are you taking his side?"

"No, no, but-"

"No reason, dad," Silas says.

Simon sits up now holding his daughter so she doesn't fall and she slides down on his lap.

"I understand," he says, letting go of his daughter as she goes back to her Barbie's dreamhouse.

----------

9:00PM

His children had gone to bed now, and Simon decided to do something, something he's never done because it was never his business.

Duncan Matthews Age: 31 Height: 5'11 Job: Unemployed Criminal Background: DUI, 1st degree Stalking, Demotic Violence

"Goddammit Y/n...you're smarter than this," Simon groans.

Simon copies the link and pulls up his email, he was going to send it to Y/n. If she was unaware, which she's not, she wouldn't keep this guy around.

------------

Y/n was working late, she needed to get some files done and then she sees a notification pop up, it was from an anonymous email account.

She clicks it and then reading upon the email.

You're smarter than this with the screenshot of Duncan's police report attached to it.

She felt like she knew it was from. But she goes ahead and reads it anyways and then reading his charges.

*Ping*

Did you also know he yells at the children for no reason?

*Simon...what are you doing?* She thinks to herself.

Y/n then thinks of it, when she first brought Duncan home he was very rude to her children, but she brushed it off because sometimes her kids could be a little frustrating to deal with but she still loves them.

Duncan has also claimed that he didn't like kids and even though he knew about Y/n having kids still proceeded to be with her. Silas has brought up the fact that Duncan yelled at him and Luna a few times but Y/n thought was because they were doing something Duncan had told them many times to stop, so she brushed off again.

She now knows...she needs to listen to children more.

-----------

A Few Hours Later

Y/n was heading home now, she looks at her home from inside her car watching as the only light was on was the living room light, Duncan must've still been up.

She gets out of her car and locking it up and heading inside, she was right, he was still up, playing video games and yelling while he played them.

He was so annoying.

"Duncan, can you turn that off? It's almost midnight, and I have to go to bed to be able to get ready for work tomorrow," she says. She doesn't want to be up all night because of her dumb boyfriend always yelling at the games he play.

"Later, I'm not done-"

"Now, please," she cuts him off.

"Seriously? ALL I DO FOR YOU AND THIS IS HOW I AM TREATED!?"

"DO WHAT!? YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A JOB, I PAY FOR EVERYTHING! WHAT DO YOU MEAN EVERYTHING YOU'VE DONE FOR ME!? YOU DON'T DO SHIT, BUT SIT HERE AND PLAY YOUR STUPID VIDEO GAMES AND I'M FINDING OUT YOU YELL AT MY CHILDREN!!! WHAT TYPE OF PERSON ARE YOU!?" She yells back.

*Smack*

A sharp pain stung on Y/n's right cheek, she holds her cheek, tears threatening to fall from her eyes.

He just smacked her.

------------

A Few Days Later

Simon held his daughter and set her in her car seat. Silas buckled himself up and was ready to go back to his mothers house.

As Simon pulled into the driveway helping his kids out of the truck, the front door opened and he turns with a smile on his face ready to tell her how much fun his children had at his apartment, but he sees her face.

She looked upset, and then he sees a bruise over her left eye and a red mark on her cheek.

"Y/n?"

"Thanks for bring my kids back safely," she says, giving him a smile.

"Hey...are you okay?"

"Don't worry about me," she says.

"Hey," Simon then cups her face. She doesn't move, it was like she misses his touch and his worried face. "What...the hell happened?" He asks.

"He-"

"Oh finally you brought the kids back, how was it, rug rats?" Duncan asks coming outside and Y/n moves her face from Simon's hands.

"WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO!?" Simon grabs Duncan and Y/n ushers her children inside to not witness whatever Simon is going to do to Duncan.

Simon grabs Duncan's shirt throwing him to the ground, Duncan let's out a groan when his back hits the concrete.

"SIMON!" He stops whatever he's about to do, and starts pushing Duncan down the concrete stairs.

"Get the fuck away from my family!" He yells and Duncan starts to scramble to his feet and run away from the house. Simon was breathing heavily to stop himself from chasing after Duncan.

Simon turns to Y/n and her children hiding behind their mom, they've never, never, ever seen Simon like this before, it was almost like they didn't even know him.

"Are you okay?" Simon asks, Y/n.

"Simon-"

"I know...I don't need to fight your battles for you...but when I saw you standing there with bruises on your body, I just lost control because I knew he was the one who didn't, you don't just get those from nothing," he says.

"You-I could've called the police!"

"Tell him to collect his things, I'll be here when he does show up. I don't want him near my children or you ever again."

"You're not my dad-"

"So, you want him to keep doing what he is doing?"

"No."

"Then call him and tell him to collect his shit, and I'll be here to make sure no funny business happens, do you understand?"

"Fine."

-------------

It was a week later now, Simon did what he said he'll do and he stayed in the house as Duncan and few of his friends gathered his shit and left, it was easy, a little too easy.

"Don't ever fucking come back, do not ask her for forgiveness, now fuck off, all of you," Simon says, slamming the door in their faces and he watched as they left the driveway.

"That was too easy, dad," Silas says as he stood next to Simon.

"I know..." Simon bends down to his son. "I want you to keep an eye on your sister and mother, anything happens, you call me or the police do you understand?"

"Yes, dad."

"I don't need protection," Y/n says.

"You do, if I'm not around," Simon says.

"Mommy, daddy, can we go to the park? It's nice out and I want to play outside," Luna says from the living room.

"Sure, come on, go get shoes on," Simon says. Y/n looks at Simon in a 'are you serious?' type of look, she wanted Simon gone, she wanted to spend her day with her children since Duncan was now gone for good.

"What?" Simon teases.

"Mama, are you mad at dad?" Silas asked, looking up at Y/n.

"No, no, I just...I just wanted to spend time with you guys."

"You can spend time with us, with daddy!" Luna yells coming down the stairs.

Y/n looks at Simon then down at her kids. Maybe, just maybe she'll let this slide once, she's only doing this for her children.

----------

Luna was going down the slide and Silas was at the bottom of the slides arms wide open catching his younger sister from falling onto the dirty mulch.

"I'm sorry, he did those things to you-"

"Could we not bring him up, please. I'm only here for my children, I'm not here...to be friends with you, Simon."

"I don't understand what I did for you to hate me?"

"I don't hate you Simon."

"Seems like it," he rests his chin on his palm.

"I'm just...annoyed...I'm not a Princess that needs saving every time I get into trouble, I can handle myself. It seems like every time you're over here, I'm somehow in trouble and you come to my rescue," she says.

"I know you're not a Princess, Y/n...and I don't mean to come to your rescue every time, but I can't just sit back and watch someone hurt you for no reason," he tells her.

"Mama! Luna is picking weeds again!"

"DANDILIONS AREN'T WEEDS!!" Luna yells at her brother while giving the brightly yellow flowers to Y/n.

"Thank you, baby," she kisses Luna's temple as her kids went back to play.

"I'm glad you let me come," Simon says.

"Again...I only did it for my kids."

"I know."

-------------

A month later now. Simon was waiting for his kids, Luna or Silas haven't said anything about Duncan in a while, or anything about Y/n since the park.

Simon sees his kids rushing out and Luna pulled on Simon's hand.

"What, Luna?"

"Mama, wants to see you," she says.

"Okay, okay, get in the truck and I'll be right back, okay?"

"Okay," she says as his kids get inside the truck he goes into the house.

"Y/n?" He calls out. "Y/n?" Once more.

"Upstairs," he goes upstairs and sees at the end of the hallway, her bedroom door open, he walks to the door, peeking through seeing her in a towel and she seemed like she was getting ready for work.

"Y-You wanted me?" He asks. Y/n turns and let's him in.

"Yeah, can you tell me which shirt would go great with my skirt?" She holds up a red button up and and black on, her skirt was just a plain black pencil skirt, black goes with anything, but why is she asking him? She already knows what will go good with the skirt.

"I think they both will look good with it-but why are you asking me?"

"Because...your opinion is a bit valid," she says, dropping the shirts.

"My opinion is valid?"

"Forget it," she says, she turns her back and Simon smiles, she was asking for his opinion.

Simon walks to her, his hands gently caressing her waist. She doesn't stop him, she misses his touch. It was always gentle and soft, he wasn't demanding for her attention or anything, he just wanted to know if his touch still had an effect on her, and it did.

He kisses her neck, earning a soft moan from her lips, her hand goes to his cheek to let him keep going. Y/n then leans back into his touch, his hands going to her towel and letting it lose and fall to the ground.

She turns and looks at Simon, his eyes roam all over her body, from her breasts and her perky nipples to her thighs that were squeezing together. She didn't cover herself up like she was embarrassed that he was staring at her bare body. For fuck's sake, Simon has seen her naked body before.

Simon picks her up and putting her on the bed, moving her clothes out of the way, he picks up her thighs and moving them against her chest, he leans down and kisses her lips.

His tongue along with hers dancing around, and soon her was messing the belt of his pants. He looks into her eyes almost like he was asking for permission. She slightly nods her head, allowing him to push himself into her, earning a soft moan from her lips.

He slowly rocks his hips back and forth watching her head go back against the mattress of her bed, her arms wrapped around his neck pulling him closer to her chest and his kissed both sides of her breasts and then started to suckle on her left nipple while his hand kneads her right breast.

Simon starts picking up the pace her moans were loud now and with every thrust, her moans would go at a higher pitch. She missed this feeling of Simon being inside her. Duncan could never do what Simon does.

Simon looks down at her stomach seeing him just barely bulging from her lower stomach. He smirks and holds her face to let her look at him as he goes a bit harder now. Her nails dug into his arm from the pleasure.

"S-Simon." She moans.

"I know, baby, I know, you can come," he tells her, with a few more thrusts she ends up coming on his dick. He smiles and pulls out watching both of their cum mix together.

He goes down and starts cleaning her up, he then remembers.

"The kids! I need to get going," he says. "I love you, and I'll see you later, sorry for this all of a sudden."

Y/n smiles, he's so flustered, he's never been like that before, she rolls on her side to watch him leave, she gets up and starts cleaning herself up and starts to get ready for work.

She missed him, she truly did. She just hides it.

[roosterforme]

So Fresh, So Clean | Rooster x Reader

Summary: At first, Bradley is mortified when the guys force him to stop at a carwash featuring bikini clad women from a college softball team. But when he meets you there, he starts to think he should thank his friends instead.

Warnings: Fluff and swearing

Length: 2000 words

Pairing: Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x Female Reader

I wrote this for a request and for @wicked-remarks Summer Festival! Check out my masterlist for more!

"Dude, stop at In-N-Out. I'm starving," Payback whined from the passenger seat as Bradley zipped down the road in his Bronco.

"Nah, just stop at Starbucks," Jake argued from the backseat. "I need more caffeine."

"We're going to be late," Bradley groaned, passing the fifth fast food place while Payback whined and pointed out the window. 

"We told Nat we'd be there around noon," Coyote said from the back. "I mean, if we stopped for food, we could grab something for her too."

Bradley rubbed his hand over his face, wondering why he had agreed to drive all of these idiots. "Guys, if I stop, I'm only stopping once. Then straight to the beach. So decide what you want."

Then Coyote started stuttering at the same time Payback said, "Holy shit! Pull over! Pull over!" Bradley looked where Payback was pointing, and then he saw a sign that said University of San Diego Softball along with a car wash and a lot of scantily clad women.

"Fuck caffeine. We're stopping here!" Jake said, practically climbing into the front seat. "Come on, Rooster!" He started trying to grab the steering wheel, and Bradley had to smack his arm away.

"Seriously!" Bradley yelled. "Stop reaching for the steering wheel!" He slowed down as all three of his passengers started loudly begging him. "You want to look at a bunch of college girls who couldn't care less about you more than you want burgers?"

"Hell yes!" Payback sang as Bradley put his turn signal on and pulled into the parking lot where the collegiate softball team was holding a very popular looking car wash. There were so many cars lined up, and a lot of men milling around. Bradley parked next to a pickup truck and eyed the women in wet tee shirts and bathing suits while Jake pounded on the back of his seat. 

"They are practically naked! Get out so I can get out!" Jake whined.

"Chill!" Bradley said, loud enough that he had the attention of all three of them. "You guys need to be on your best behavior. I'm not kidding!"

"Look at them," Coyote said, pulling his sunglasses lower on his nose and whistling. "These girls are hot."

Bradley groaned. "Yes, I see them. And don't call them girls. They're women. And please don't touch any of them. Oh my god, I'm already so embarrassed."

"Let's go," Payback said, opening his door. "Time to flirt."

"They don't want to flirt with you," Bradley muttered. "You're thirty five."

"I dunno about that," Jake drawled, fixing his hair. "That redhead looks like she might like a daddy."

"Oh my fucking Lord, we are going to get kicked out of a fundraiser," Bradley groaned as he climbed out of his door and was nearly trampled by Jake.

"Relax man, I'm about to pay for your car to get washed," he said, shoving Bradley out of the way to get over to the redhead holding a hose. "Hey, sweetheart, my name's Jake...."

Bradley headed in the opposite direction, cradling his forehead in his hand. The last thing he wanted was to try to chat up some nineteen year old. He was almost thirty seven, for fuck's sake. But if they wanted to humiliate themselves, that was fine with him. But it didn't mean he needed to watch.

He thought he had found a nice spot to stand and wait while listening to a car stereo blasting Pour Some Sugar On Me. He was out of the way of the guys who were being roped in to helping the girls wash cars now. Jake's shirt was mysteriously missing, and Payback was spraying the hose while a few of the girls screamed.  

"Grown ass men," Bradley muttered, pushing his aviators up higher on his nose.

He heard soft laughter and turned to see you standing next to him. And of course you were gorgeous. And young. And looking up at him with a smirk that he should not have found adorable. 

"Yeah, well, the deans at the college are always amazed by how much money our car wash fundraisers make every summer," you said, smiling at him. He found himself smiling back. 

"My friends almost made me wreck trying to get me to pull over, so I guess that does make sense," Bradley replied with a nod. You were the only one on the team who was still dry, and he could see the straps of your bathing suit tied above the collar of your USD Softball tee shirt. You had on some tiny denim shorts and flip flops, and Bradley bit back a groan and forced himself to look away from you. 

"Your friends look like a bit of a handful," you told him. Bradley was treated to the sight of Coyote dancing to the music in the spray of the water. 

"Just show them women in bathing suits, and this is what they turn into." You were laughing and gaping up at him, as Bradley quickly added, "They're harmless though! I promise! Your teammates have nothing to worry about! They just like to flirt."

"Teammates?" you asked, head cocked to one side.

"Yeah," Bradley grunted, really trying so hard not to look directly at you. Fuck, this was getting difficult. He could tell that your bathing suit was red through your snug fitting white tee shirt, and now he was looking at your chest. He pinched the bridge of his nose over his sunglasses and rolled his shoulders, trying to focus on the dirt being rinsed off a filthy car. "Your teammates? Uh, are you a senior? Or team captain or something?"

Your laughter rang out as you said, "No, not exactly."

"Oh. Uh, what position do you play?" He knew he was rambling now. Really, he should just get out of here. 

"I used to play third base."

And now Bradley was biting his knuckle, because he was thinking about getting to third base with you, unzipping those little shorts in the backseat of his Bronco and slipping his hand inside. "Oh god," he swallowed hard. He was worse than the rest of the guys who were currently covered in soapy water and surrounded by softball players. 

"I'm their coach."

Bradley froze, looking at you out of the corner of his eye. "You're the coach? The softball coach?"

"Yeah. They're not my teammates."

Bradley turned to face you and let his eyes drift down your body and back up to your face. You did look a little older than twenty two. And that's probably why you weren't actively washing the cars. He must have been staring for too long, because you were smirking again as you held out your hand and introduced yourself. "Head coach of USD women's softball."

He took your smaller hand in his. "My name is Bradley, and I'm really hoping you're going to tell me you're like twenty eight years old?"

"I'm thirty," you said slowly, still holding his hand and looking at him with a confused smile. 

"Even better," he said, smiling happily and pulling you a little closer by your hand. "So, you played third base? Which school?"

"University of Oregon."

"Shit. You must be good."

"I'm very good," you told him, and Bradley squeezed your hand a little tighter. 

"I'll bet you are."

"Do you play?" you asked, really sizing him up now. 

"Yeah, just on a Navy rec league. But I'm very good, too."

"Bet I can guess which position you play," you told him before you bit your lip, and Bradley swore he was never going to let go of your hand. 

"Okay. Go ahead and guess."

"But...if I'm right, you owe me a drink," you said coyly.

Bradley's eyebrows shot up. "Then you better fucking get this right."

With a bright laugh, you told him, "You look like a shortstop."

"Damn. You are good."

"I'm right?" you asked, and he nodded. "You owe me a drink."

Bradley took his sunglasses off with his left hand, and your smile grew. "Listen, as soon as you told me you're not a student, I was absolutely going to ask you out. So all you did was make it easier for me."

You pressed your lips together in pleasure, and it was so adorable. "You're still holding my hand."

"I know," he confirmed with a nod. "When are you free? Tomorrow?"

You licked your lips. "I'm coaching a game tomorrow, Bradley. You know, since I'm not a student."

He smirked at the way you were sassing him before asking, "Is it home or away?"

"Home. At USD."

"You gonna invite me to watch?" he asked, and you looked so damn pleased with yourself now. 

"Would you be coming just to ogle the players?" you asked, nodding toward the soaking wet women who were now spraying the hose at Payback. "You know they wear their uniforms to the games instead of bathing suits, right?"

He narrowed his eyes and glared at you playfully. "It's much more likely that I'd be ogling their coach."

"Oh, I like that," you told him. "You can come then. And we can get that drink afterwards?"

"Absolutely," Bradley said, and he finally released your hand as he added, "Can I get your number?"

"Mmhmm." 

He retrieved his phone from his pocket, unlocked it and handed it to you. He watched you enter your contact information, and then you handed it back to him, letting your fingers linger on his. "Text me later today, and I'll send you a ticket to the game."

"Sounds good, coach. I can't wait."

You glanced to the side and then met his eyes again. "It looks like your car's done. And your friends look like an actual disaster."

Bradley groaned as he saw the three of them getting the soap hosed off so they could leave. "Yeah, let me go babysit them for the afternoon. I'll see you tomorrow?"

"Yes, you will." And then you put your hand on his chest and kissed his cheek before you turned away to help one of your players who was calling for your attention. 

Bradley tucked his phone away and watched you as he made his way toward the Bronco. You waved to him and he smiled back before turning to assess his three sopping wet friends. 

"Rooster, you idiot!" Coyote said, dripping water on the pavement. "You just stood there like a lump, man."

"We got phone numbers," Jake drawled, holding his wet phone while Bradley snorted. 

"Yeah, we did," Payback said, high fiving Jake. "And we're going to meet up with Sylvia and Taylor later tonight at a bar on their campus."

Bradley just shook his head. "Wring out your shirts and get in the Bronco. Nat's already going to kill us, I hope you know that."

"Worth it," the three of them said in unison. And while Bradley waited for them to dry off a bit, he sent you a text. 

Can't wait for tomorrow.

And right before he pulled out of the parking lot, you wrote back.

XOXO

And there was a ticket to the USD softball game for tomorrow afternoon attached. 

"Hey, what the fuck?" Jake said as Bradley drove down the road toward the beach. He had his phone to his ear as he added, "Taylor gave me a bogus phone number!"

Payback scrambled to unlock his phone, and a second later, he had it on speaker. "Oops, it looks like the person who gave you this number is not actually interested in you! Better luck next time!"

"Damn," Coyote said, completely crestfallen. "Sylvia gave us a bogus number, too."

"I spent fifty bucks to get this thing washed for nothing!" Jake complained, gesturing around the Bronco.

"I can't believe we all struck out today," Payback whined. "We should have just stopped at In-N-Out."

Bradley bit his lip and shook with silent laughter. "Yeah, you all struck out. What a shame." But he was already thinking about where he was going to take you out for a second date.

-----------------------------

The way Rooster flirts, just holy shit. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls.

@hotch-meeeeeuppppp

@swthxrry

@chassy21

@yaboid19

@solacestyles

@avoirlecoupdefoudre

@daisyhollyxox

@callsigndiamond

@harper1666

@throwinsauce

@beebslebobs

@awesomebooklover17

@wintercap89

@whosyourgnomie4

@rosesinmars

@blog-name6996

@bcon24

@wishfulwithwine

@backinwonderl4nd

@monte-carlando

@tetragonia

@gingerbreadandpaper

@emptyloverofmine

@apparently-sunshine

@chaoticassidy

@missmirandafe

@topgunbb

@changlingkhat

@sugarcoated-lame

@callsign-jupiter

@avada-kedavra-bitch-187

@katiebby04

@marantha

@averyhotchner

@abaker74

@andycanbeemotional

@heli991113

@k-k0129

@noz4a2

@tallyovie

@shanimallina87

@starlightstories

@teddyluvs2sing

@little-wiseone

@ccbb2222

@lilyevanswhore

@o-the-o-grim-o-reaper-o

@hecate-steps-on-me

@xoxabs88xox

[thelampisaflashlight]

Some ghoul headcanons, because it was rainy and cold today and I had too much time to think. Let's go.

-Dew has stomach issues, and has to watch what he eats or else he can make himself sick, but sometimes he's really stubborn about wanting to eat something he shouldn't, and that usually results in a trip to the infirmary.

The list of what Dew can't eat is an ever expanding one, and while there's nothing on there that could actually kill him, there are some things that just aren't worth the tears; The infirmary staff's nor Dew's.

The biggest culprit of Dew's late night trips to the infirmary though, and the number one, "Dew, you REALLY shouldn't eat this-" food is cheese, or anything dairy related really, because it upsets his stomach worse than even some spicy foods, but the problem is; He loves it.

It's very hard for anyone to deny him cheese though, because the last time Swiss made burgers for everyone, he put cheese on everyone's except for his and Dew got the saddest, wettest look in his eyes about it.

Hell, Swiss almost cried, too.

Dew would like to think it was worth being constipated, really.

-There's a ghoul that lives somewhere on the abbey's grounds that no one can place the origins or name of, but no one has ever fully seen them, and any pictures taken of them come out... wrong.

It often lurks behind pillars, just out of view in doorways, and peeking out through gaps in stairwells.

Oftentimes, those who do view the creature fall ill not long afterwards, and not just the human members of the clergy, the ghouls become sick, too.

No one is sure why this happens, if the ghoul is actually to blame for it, or if the ghoul is really a ghoul but one thing remains certain; Seeing an almost indistinguishable beast out of the corner of your eye is scary as Hell, and no one wants to think about what would happen if it ever caught up to someone.

And lastly;

-When a ghoul is summoned/created, their magic is deliberately capped in order to prevent them from using it to do harm, the exception to this is quintessence, which is why these ghouls are so rare; The church can't contain their magic, and that means they're a threat, friendly or not, but no one has found a way to lock down their magic, because every time they try, the ghoul they're testing it on is just so... persuasive.

Really though, they're harmless, there's no need for such unnecessary precautions and... Yeahhh.

The ghouls are using their magic to prevent losing their magic.

[crumb]

i love how benson is, on the surface, this devil-may-care kind of character, going around shooting people, dragging randy around to fix his life and scaring the hoes in the process—but at the same time there are these little details that show how much he does care. I mean the big obvious one is his motivation for wanting to fix randy, fix randy and help him not turn out like benson and the rest of the people in the small town, we all know this and have gone over these themes. but the smaller details, unintentional or not, those are really nice. Benson being the only one at Burger Burgers Burgers who has his sleeves cuffed and his shirt tucked in. This is one of many details that shows Benson does care, he cares about how he looks and how he's perceived to some extent. because let's be honest, it does set his character apart from the stereotypical 'redneck working at a fast food joint'. Which then gives an added weight to when he walks outside for his cigarette and untucks his shirt. he's releasing himself from this more restrained version he's presented himself as up until that point. Which then ALSO makes Chris saying "Benson, why do you fucking care?" even funnier. because like... Benson basically responds by killing him which in a way is him saying "hey, you're right, why do I fucking care?" lmaoooo Benson is also the only one, other than Randy (and I guess hardy?) who is wearing BBB uniform trousers. Chris is wearing cargo joggers and Jess is wearing a mini skirt with fishnets. If benson really didn't care about that job, or how he looked at that job, would he be wearing 100% of the uniform, well fitted, cuffed, tucked, cleaned, and ironed? And then when changing outfits at his house he puts on a fuzzy yellow/green cardigan and graphic ringer tee, the choices of which feel very intentional and like they're his favorite pieces of clothing. Which I think must be true if you think about him knowing this is his swan song, he wants to go out looking good. But what he doesn't change? His trousers. You'd think after killing three people at a job you probably don't particularly like and dragging their bodies around, changing out of the uniform would be a relief, other than wanting to just get out of clothes that are recognizable to the restaurant. Which makes me think his BBB uniform trousers are the best/most well-fitting trousers he owns which in itself is interesting. I mean look at the clothes he gives randy, they're not that much different in body size so even on benson those jeans would've been oversized as hell. This somewhat cleaned up version of himself that he presents, especially pre-killing spree, juxtaposed to his home life and his car is, I think, a great representation of Benson as a person. His home life, the clutter, his Ma in the front room, the clothes he gives randy, the junk strewn around his car—versus his cleaned and cuffed and tucked uniform and his stylish cardigan and graphic tee (idc what you say i love the cardigan)—I think it shows someone who is struggling but putting on a brave front, trying to come off as put together, as someone who knows himself and doesn't care about other people's perceptions, but at the same time so desperately does care and hates that he cares, and hates that he can't seem to change things. he can only dress them up a little to look presentable to passersby. and maybe it's one of those "the walls are just blue because they're blue!!" type situations and the wardobe dept or kyle or carter or the art director and whoever else, maybe it's just simply style/design decisions by one or several of them and there's no subtextual meaning behind it all—but even if so, I love that, to me at least, it's developed this deeper meaning within the context of the film and the character.

Don't even get me started on the Kurt Cobain cardigan and Benson having a shotgun in his trunk.

[still-a-morosexual-help]

Okay fine Mechat has some actually interesting concepts & stories.......

1. Succubus LI trying desperately to suck out MC's life via sex Vs. Demisexual MC who just wants to eat burgers, go on walks & sleep well at night

2. DR. JEKYLL AND MR. HYDE!!!??

3. Her:

4. Dead guy trying to scam other dead people out of their money and trying his best to seem scary and morbid Vs. MC who lives next to a cemetery, is morbidly fascinated by death, at most thinks he's funny

5. Genius indie game developer escaping an abusive family + MC willing to throw hands with his mother at any given moment

6. Nonbinary mermaid. That's it. (merperson?)

7. Polycule with 4 eldritch horrors. They're personifications like the Sins but they've got 0 control and you get to see what that actually means

8. Sea demon trying desperately to eat MC Vs. MC enjoying making his life living hell and making him flustered by flirting with him - also they have some of the funniest chats

10. Nonbinary dragon with a gem/jewellery making hyperfixation

11. Modern day beauty and the beast retelling except it's VERY CLEAR that if he ever permanently turned into a human MC would ditch him so fast.

LI: I'm a terrible hideous monster, a freak, no one will ever want me, I literally look like if someone stretched a dog's skin over a human's body, you should leave me and never come back

MC: Take off your shirt

12. Overworked barista MC who is just done and dead inside and just begging the man with a gun who just crashed through the cafe's window to shoot them in the face

13. """The stray cat I brought home turned into a hot naked guy who basically called me useless, kicked me out of my own bed and home, then texted me to cry about how I don't care for him because I went to work without leaving any cat toys out for him to play with but I'm going to coo at him and give him anything his little bastard heart desires no matter how much it inconveniences me and no matter how much he flip flops between hating my entire existence and Immediately crying when I leave him alone for longer than five minutes because I'm still a cat owner and this is the type of insanity that consumes every single cat owner ever"""

Also includes:

• They/them gender neutral MC

• Customizable sprites for MC

• Voice messages with amazing voice acting

• You can choose if you want to see 18+ content or not, and the sex scenes can range from being inferred to very explicit

• Dom/sub/top/bottom/switch/vers MCs

• Multiple poly LIs

• Some stories allow you to switch LIs - play the same story with a different character so you can have your preference

• Treasure trove for the monster fuckers ft LIs like;

a.) Mythical beings like Medusa

b.) Extraterrestrials like aliens similar to the ones from Avatar

c.) Straight up furry content - like anthropomorphic animals

d.) Hybrids - humans with animal ears & tails

e.) Eldritch beings like Death

f.) Horror-esque characters like killer (?) clowns & ghouls

g.) Supernatural beings like demons and witches

h.) Not monsters but also: knights & pirates

• Also just normal average sweet LIs too

• My favourite: updated mod for unlimited gems

Part 2 of interesting routes

[hughesurdaddy43]

fear and fridays

Summary: simple complication, miscommunications lead to fallout

pairing: quinn hughes x fem reader

notes: everyone thank taylor swift and zach bryan for this one

You pace back and forth in your living room. Quinn said he wanted to stop by after his game so naturally, you turned your television on and watched from the beginning to the end. The Canucks won, which didn't come as a surprise to you. Captain Quinn Hughes always led his team to victory.

Even though he has a key to your apartment, Quinn knocks, waiting for you to let him in. You come to a halt, feet glued to the floor and fingers trembling. You know why you're so nervous. You haven't seen Quinn since you admitted your feelings to him. His words were on repeat in your head, like a broken record. "If I ever get married to a girl that's not you, I'd pray to God that you'd stand up and object."

Another knock on the door brings you back to reality and you begin to make your way to the slab of wood thats keeping the two of you apart.

There's a smirk on his face when you swing the door open, and he lifts up a brown paper bag with grease staining the bottom, you're worried that whatever is inside will tear apart in a matter of seconds. "I bought some burgers, thought we might treat ourselves to a night in." Your heart does a flip and you shoot him a smile while moving to the side to let him enter. It isn't unusual for Quinn to stop by with dinner after a home game, especially after they win, but you aren't sure how to feel about how normal he's being.

You follow Quinn to your kitchen, taking a seat on the barstool at the counter. He starts with grabbing plates, heading toward the dishwasher instead of a cupboard because he knows that you hate putting dishes away. Then he heads toward your fridge and pulls out two beers, and they aren't your favourite but you make sure to keep them in stock because they're his favourite.

The two of you sit in silence, enjoying your burgers and beer. Wind crashes against your living room window, and everything is taking you back to that night, which feels like forever ago. You haven't talked about it, trying your best to push it to the back of your mind, but still those words are on repeat.

Quinn laughs, causing you to look up from your burger and at him instead. "Jack and Luke said you're lame for not answering their texts." You shake your head, pulling Quinns phone out of his hand. You open up the camera and sport a pouty face before clicking the button to capture the photo and send it to the Hughes brothers group chat. "Thats only because half of the time I never know what the hell they're talking about. And, they keep harassing me, asking if I'll go to the lake house this summer."

You start to hand Quinn his phone but freeze once his phone starts to ring. Its her.

His eyes are already on yours when you look up at him, the both of you unsure of what to do. It's not like you guys are sneaking around, but everything is different now, and you're wondering if she even knows that her boyfriends best friend is in love with him.

In a swift movement, Quinn grabs the phone from your hand and slides it into the pocket of his shorts. "I'll give her a call later." He mumbles. "Anyway, back to the rug rats, you should come to the lake house this summer." He changes the topic and it makes your heart drop. You begin to wonder if you're becoming his secret.

"I don't know, Quinn. I'm not sure I'd want to third wheel, and as much as I love your brothers, I don't think I can survive spending all my time with them." You both know that's a lie. Jack was your friend first, but the moment you two started to drift due to busy schedules, Quinn swooped in. "Why would you third wheel?" He asks as he begins to clear the countertop from your plates and now empty beer bottles.

You frown at him even though his back is facing you. "Well, I assumed you'd be bringing..." You pauses, afraid to say her name out loud. "I assume you'd bring your girlfriend along." Quinn scoffs, "Please, Trevor would be all over her. I wouldn't do that to her." It's a lousy excuse, you know that, but you still want to push it. "So you'll let me tag along and fall victim to Trevor Zegras?"

The two of you laugh at the same time. You like Trevor, but he's like an energetic puppy that doesn't understand basic commands like "Shush" and "No"

"No, no definitely not." Quinn turns around, leaning on the counter behind him and crossing his arms over his chest. He's wearing a tight black underarmour t-shirt and you can't help but let your eyes roam his arms. You usually aren't attracted to guys with muscle, but Quinn pulls it off so well. "Trev knows you're off limits." He tells you.

Your eyes shoot up to his, and you're sure that this time, he's looking at you the same way you look at him. Quinn Hughes is in love, and it's not with his girlfriend.

"Yeah? I'm not so sure 'off limits' means much to anyone anymore."

Quinn smiles at you, running a hand through his hair, and you smile back because you know the ball is in his court.

"I should probably get going, Nat. Early practice tomorrow, Captain needs his sleep."

You desperately want to tell him that he can spend the night, like he usually does. Half of your closet is filled with his clothes anyway, but instead you hop off your stool and walk him to the door.

"Thank you for the treat," You tell him, and there's still that damn smile on his face that is driving you insane, because you made him smile like that, and you know what it means, but the two of you won't say anything more. You open the door for Quinn, but before he steps out, he grabs your hand, pulling you close to him.

He places his hands on your cheeks, and before you can react, he kisses you. One, two, three times.

Neither of you say anything before he starts to walk away, leaving you in your doorway, swooning and dumbfounded.

You shut your door, knowing what you should do next. It's like deja-vu, the way your fingers are trembling once again. You pull your own phone out of your pocket and open up your messages. Jacks contact is first, a text he sent a few hours ago, staring right at you. Your fingers are on a mission to send a simple text.

ill see you at the lake house

[honesttoglob]

Ok so few thoughts on the Season 2 Bigtop Burger Supercut:

- Apparently the "freakazoids" that Cesare and the underworld have been keeping tabs on are Cryptids. I had suspected the freakazoids in question might be demons as Hell is taking some responsibility for them but they're cryptids??? Man, that just makes me sad, leave bigfoot alone :(((((

- One of the cryptids pictured is Flatwoods Monster, who, according to legend, is also an alien. The other two appear to be Mothman and though I'm a bit fuzzy on this one some sort of bigfoot or yeti creature. He's wearing a lil stetson hat. Did Cesare use the stetson hat trick before?

- The second still shown in the credits appears to be Munkustrap descending onto Earth on some sort of spacecraft as the Bigtop and Zomburger crews watch. They appear to be in the same positions/outfits as when Cesare whack-a-moled Steve into hell. Which is????? Idk what to make of that. Could Flatwoods Monster have some kind of alien technology that they used to contact Clown World? Are we finally gonna have Clown vs Undead War??????? I wonder how Munkustrap will react to seeing other clowns in the pink-yellow-blue spotted outfit which Tim, Penny and Billie are wearing, which seems to be a pattern which all banished clowns are exiled in. Looking forward to see how he looks now that he's aged! Also, I like that this scene implies the Zomburger and Bigtop gangs stick together! Which I want them too! SO BADLY!!!

- As @fr0stmask mentioned in a reply on this post, the spacecraft Munkustrap is seen on is actually a tire, as in the musical Cats, cats who are deemed worthy are sent up to the Heaviside Layer on a TIRE!!! Thanks for the info!

- What if the Cats performance is literal, and one clown actually gets sent "up to the heaviside layer", and that's what happened to Munkustrap and how he got the tire spacecraft. Steve got booted out via banishment and Munkustrap was chosen to ascend, but in the end they both ended up in the same place.

- Frances, Conrad and Allen look visibly upset when they realize Cesare isn't actually proposing a truce and is still up to his antagonistic bullshit.

- The image of Cesare in his weird little Cabinet of Dr. Caligari coffin makes my stomach do little back filps. We've seen Tim, Penny, Billie, Frances, Conrad, Allen, and Steve all in their own homes (For Steve it's his truck where he sleeps) but Never Cesare! Seeing him in there makes me nervous honestly because in the image, his box/cabinet has two doors on its front, with no handles inside, which suggests it closes from the outside and he's "stored" in there and deanimated (seeing as his eyes are closed and this is the only time we've seen him at rest) when not in use. This would add metaphorical meaning to Cesare's comments about being a puppet vendor, as now that's all he is- a puppet. He looks like a little doll being stored in his box. This seems to suggest something I've long suspected, that the "1000 year sentence" Cesare is being held on by the underworld may be bullshit, and he won't actually be allowed to go on retirement. Instead, this idea of his sentence one day ending is merely meant to motivate and control him, like a carrot being held in front of a horse. Could that candle shown at the end be his lifeforce? When its lit maybe he's animate, while when its snuffed out, he's a lifeless husk kept in a box.

- You think Cesare's and Steve's footie pajamas have a similar narrative role? Like to make them easily identifiable as rejects (in Steve's case) or property (in Cesare's case)? You think they're just meant to be dehumanizing or a source of shame?

- Tim was the first one to find Steve, which makes me feel fucked up that Steve still doesn't know his name and seems to mis-name him the most :(((((( Tom and Toby???????? I mean I get that my man likely has memory issues, he's very old and he hit his head very hard on the ground and he refuses to go easy on that fckng juul

- Baby Tim is so cute and handsome I'm dying

- The alley Steve emerges into in the after credits scene seems to rememble the alley with the hole in the ground that Conrad recounts Cesare getting money from. Is this because the underworld was able to track Steve's ascent through the ground to Earth's surface? Is this the same hole Cesare enters and exits the underworld from?

- Also, Steve spits out some rocks when he reaches the surface. U think that's how he started thinking of rocks as food? They just kimda got in ther and he thought "mmmnm yummy!"

- Based on the timelime and my own calcumalations, Steve landed in Sweden, creating the crater which is now known as the Siljan ring, and emerged a whole continent over in North America (at least I'm assuming the show takes place in North America. The driving wheel is on the left side, right? And everyone has American accents? (Except Tim) Is that enough?)

I have a theory that Penny reminds Steve of his own mother. Both women have the same voice actress (Lindsay Small-Butera, my beloved ;-;), and in season one, while Steve is high, once he hears Penny's voice, he shapeshifts into his child form (which I think might have been the last time he saw his mom before she dropped him off at Christian-Acting Camp) and asks her for soup. He's even in the same Little Lord Fontleroy outift. Also, at the Food Truck Expo, when Steve sees Cesare approaching him, he hides behind Penny's back. Also, they have a similar appearance in hair color and clown makeup.

- Speaking of Steve's family, in the scene where Steve is about to be shot into space, there are three clowns who stick out from the crowd. One, with a haircut resembling Steve's mother's on the right (I believe this is her), Munkustrap in the center (at least I believe this is him, their hair and faces are similar) and a male figure on the left. I believe this figure on the left is Steve's father, and Munkustrap is either Steve's brother or past love interest (I think him being his brother is more realistic because him being Steve's love interest and sending him into space is I think too dark even for this show).

- I think the clown actors in Cats may only refer to eachother by their character names. Munkustrap is given no other name, and Steve being stripped of his name as "Old Deut" is seen as a big deal.

- I noticed whenever male clowns get old, their hair develops into sort of a tonsure style with a little dollop of hair sitting right in the middle of their bald spot. Peanut has this, along with Steve's father, and Steve is also developing this as well, based on the wicked widow's peak he has whenever his hat is off.

- bro I wanna see Cesare and Munkustrap interact so bad. What if they get jealous of eachother like, "No! I'm the only emo twink that gets to make Steve's life a living hell, who the fck are you???"

- I want them. To fight lol

- Cat fight!!!!!

- I may be stretching with this one but Munkustrap and Cesare just look kinda visually similar to me? At least with the black onesie and the dark unkempt hair. You think there's a reason for that? Or is it more metaphorical, as in these are just two people who have an impact on Steve's life in that they do their best to not let him fit in with the general society?

- In the still of Munkustrap descending from the sky, Conrad is build like a brick shit house frfr

Just needed to get these thoughts out of my head so they don't weigh down on my humors and make me bad at art and work and remembering to eat food and sleep and bathe and breathe for the next however many months it is before another episode O-O

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

Imagine Pav, the hopeless romantic and enthusiastic shipper, trying to help out Miguel who’s awkward as hell. The potential is so great there.

I LOVE THIS! Because I hardly ever seen Pav and Miguel shown together, which is funny because I feel like Pav gets along with anyone. Like he could probably get Jess to crack a smile if he REALLY tried.

He's always the one cheering up Ben Reilly on campus. Ben is wailing about the harrowing memories and Pavitr is like 'It's okay, my friend. Have a McMiguel burger, those always help me :) '

Pavi's THE Matchmaker on HQ campus

He has happy couples to back him up. (He counts Gwen and Miles even though he did nothing but embarrass Miles in front of her)

He tries to give Miguel advice, but somehow it always veers off into a story or essay about how amazing Gayatri is.

And Miguel is just standing there looking down at Pavi at like 'Pavitr, focus, please.'

and Pavi is SUCH a romantic he's like - going full force. He wants Miguel to each lunch with his crush, and gives up thumbs up from the bushes (the crush knows ur there Pavi, you're both spiderpeople). He's like 'Get them flowers on the first date, get lost in their eyes, whats their birthstone, you should get them a necklace, write them a song-'

Meanwhile my guy Miguel listening to all of this like

'I'm taking dating advice from a high schooler. And he has more game than me.'

Jess is like "Yeah don't listen to him just be NORMAL" as if Miguel knows what that means he just wants to get through his dinner date without biting his own tongue off in embarrassment

Hobie's in the corner like 'I don't even try, m8' AS IF THATS HELPING they're like 'WE KNOW YOU DON'T' he has a crowd of groupies at his beck and call like soviet union sleeper agents ready to wake up and revolt at any moment

JUST WAIT UNTIL PAVI IS LIKE - Lemme see their socials - next thing Miguel knows they're on Lyla looking at his dates Instagram or something trying to figure out their birthchart and horoscopes

I NEED a Spider Society sitcom like NOW RIGHT NEOW

[visceravalentines]

picture late june. benson in ripped and frayed denim shorts and what's left of a metal tee he tore up to be comfy. armpits out. fresh cut on the hair. legs all scraped to hell bc he waded through some brambles this morning after a stray dog. randy at his shoulder, all bitten lips and blue tongue from a sucker he's been working over for half an hour. baseball cap. dirty white t-shirt because he had to mow the lawn before he could go play. smells like grass and diesel and sunscreen, freckles all over his cheeks and arms. still pale as fuck though, especially compared to benson. they haunt the drink aisle in the grocery store for fifteen minutes because randy's indecisive and benson's not picking for him this time and they're not leaving until he makes a choice. benson bounces his raspberry arizona in his hands and patiently watches randy peruse every single option. he's got all the time in the world for this pretty boy who outshines the sun. they've got nowhere to be, nothing to do. nothing but time. randy finally picks a pint of chocolate milk and benson nods once, walks him all the way to the car with his hand on the small of his back. they drive to the river with the windows down, sit on the bridge and throw rocks in the water til it gets dark. benson drives him home and they stop for a bite on the way. randy gets to make this decision too--anything but burgers. benson parks across the street, cuts the lights. puts the armrest up. when randy finally has to go or face the wrath of his mother, benson gets out of the car, pushes him up against the passenger's side and kisses him goodnight. takes fifteen minutes. randy sneaks up to bed with sun on his cheeks and cigarette smoke in his hair. benson leans against the car and watches until the light goes off upstairs.

[octuscle]

I just got arrested for possession of weed and I’m using my one phone call on you. Please help me out man, I’m begging you, can you please get these cops off my back?

Hell, the three police officers don't look like they can take even a little bit of fun. They don't say a single word for the first five minutes. And then they pepper you with questions. Honestly, you're still a bit stoned, you can't take the cops seriously. But they still scare you. You ask which of them is the good cop and which is the bad cop. "There are three of us, you little pissant. And we're all bad!" is the answer.

You are asked how much weed you have at home or whether they should carry out a house search. You giggle and ask how much they need. And surprisingly, one of the officers says that they definitely need it. He exchanges a fist bump with his neighbor. And the first one undoes another button on his shirt.

The next question is, what kind of drugs do you use? You say a beer now and then, cigarettes rarely but sometimes, weed three or four times a week. One of the policemen goes out and comes back with four bottles of beer. Another one takes a fag and offers you one too.

Things are slowly becoming relaxed. You start talking about music. You don't think Nirvana is that cool. Shit, is the boombox supposed to be brainwashing now? You can really only bear it with a joint. You can bet the cops' hair is getting longer. And that they're getting younger overall. One of them goes out and comes back with weed from the evidence room and four more beers.

The guys are really nice. They're all enthusiastic skaters. And they can really take a lot of weed. One of them asks if you've ever fucked a cop in a prison cell. You unbutton your pants. "Dude, not here where everyone can watch. In the prison cell." You walk through the police station giggling. You get to unlock the cell and even put on a police cap. The three cops go into the cell. "Shit, dudes, I forgot about the weed. I'll be right back." You close the cell and look for the interrogation room. But you're so stupidly stoned that you forget what you wanted to do after just three steps. So you leave the station. Fresh air helps. You're in the mood for a big burger right now. And a bit of weed at the skate park. One of your stoner buddies is sure to have something to smoke.

In the cell, the three cops laugh their asses off. One of them pulls the packet of weed out of his trouser pocket. "The Dude can look for it for a long time," he says. "Let's start fucking," says the second. And the third drops his pants.

[mendeshoney]

i love it when you write for mat!!! can you do 10 and 11 from the drunken love confessions list please? so happy you're back by the way, and hope you're doing well!!!!!!!!!!

10.) “I love you. But that’s a secret. So I won’t tell you about it.” & 11.) “You’re drunk.” “Yes. And hopelessly in love with you.” with Mathew Barzal

"Oh Jesus," you hear Tyson mutter, and you look up briefly from the grill at his tone.

"What is it Josty?" You ask, casting your glance back down to the grill to flip the burgers.

"Mat's wasted." He says, eyes focused on where Mat's stationed a few feet away at the beer pong table with the rest of your friends. You try to ignore how good he looks, but fail miserably.

He's got on a black hat, position backwards on his head, black swim trunks, and he's shirtless and sweaty, body glistening ridiculously in the light of the summer sunset.

You tear your eyes away, trying to direct your focus on not burning the burgers in front of you. "He's just having fun," you say.

Unbeknownst to you, Tyson and his little sister, Kacey, exchange knowing looks from where they're standing next to you, Kacey mixing drinks at the outdoor bar and Tyson setting up the rest of the food on the counter next to you.

You'd been best friends with Kacey since you were nine, had grown up alongside the Jost's and been coming to their lake house in Kelowna for the summer for the last ten years, and they both knew you like the back of their hand.

So they obviously knew you'd been madly in love with Mat ever since Tyson introduced you all those summers ago now, even if you'd never managed to admit it out loud to any of them.

They saw how you'd go quiet whenever he entered the room, like you needed a second to be able to accept the fact that he was even in your space before you pretended like nothing was wrong. How when Mat was being a little shit or a little annoying, you always vouched for him, insisting he wasn't doing anything wrong. Or like how whenever he spoke to you, or how you spoke to him, you had that look in your eye that said "How is he even real?"

"I'll take over the grill," Tyson says, already scooting you out of the way and reaching for the spatula in your hand. "You should probably get Mat inside. He looks like he's one beer away from puking all over the place."

You frown a little, glancing between Mat and Josty. You've seen Mat when he's wasted, and while he's definitely inebriated, he's not that bad right now.

Still, you listen to Tyson, wiping your hand on a dish towel before heading over to the beer pong table.

The game ends just as you get there, and apparently Mat had managed to win, because the next thing you know he's cheering, arms in the air, and then bringing them down to wrap you in a tight hug when you make it to his side.

"Hell yeah!" He exclaims, swinging you around a little, and everyone laughs, including you, amused by Mat and his antics.

"Look at you go," you say, then tug on one of the arms he has wrapped around your shoulder. "Hey, I need some help bringing out a case of water, think you can manage?"

Mat nods, dropping his hands and following you as you start to head inside.

Just as you're about to pass Tyson and Kacey on your way in, Mat reaches out, grabbing onto the scrunchie around your wrist and hooking his finger inside. Tyson and Kacey exchange looks with wide eyes behind your back, completely missing the way your cheeks heat up.

You lead Mat into the kitchen and to the pantry where the extra cases of water are, and grab one from the case for him.

"Here," you start to say, turning around, but you stumble back a little when you find Mat completely in your space, him trying to wiggle his hand inside your scrunchie so it practically cuffs you together.

You laugh nervously, "What are you up to?"

"Trying to get you to hold my hand." He says, like it's obvious.

Your brain short circuits, and you nearly drop the water bottle. "W-what?"

He's still staring down at your hands, where they both rest secured by your scrunchie, and he smiles a little when he turns his wrist, brushing your palms together.

"Mat?" You ask, but he doesn't look at you.

"I have a secret, you know." Is all he says in response.

"Are you supposed to share secrets when you're drunk?"

He scoffs a little. "Course you can."

"Well..." you start, a little unsure of how to proceed. "What's your secret?"

“I love you. But that’s a secret. So I won’t tell you about it.”

Your entire world screeches to a halt, and this time, you do drop the water bottle, both of you ignoring it as it tumbles to the floor and rolls away a little.

"You...what?" You stutter out. "You’re drunk."

"Yes. And hopelessly in love with you." He says, linking your hands together. Finally, he looks at you then, a small smile on his face. "There, now we're holding hands."

You can't seem to find the words to speak, too stunned to be able to function. There's no way he's telling the truth, absolutely none.

Slowly and gently, you pull the scrunchie off of your wrists, untangling your hands so you can grab the water bottle from the floor. When you look back at Mat, he's frowning a little, but you ignore it, holding the water bottle out to him. "Here, you should drink some of this before we bring the rest out."

He stares at your outstretched hand for a second, then smiles, grabbing the bottle and taking a swig, the previous moment seemingly forgotten.

And for a second, you don't know what's worse. The fact that he dropped it so quickly, or that you can't tell whether or not he was actually telling the truth.

[roosterforme]

Stud On Board | Bob Floyd x Reader

Summary: You're nervous to meet Bob's friends for the first time. Initially you think they are poking fun at you, but then you realize that's not the case. When it becomes obvious that it's your boyfriend they're picking on, you make it a point to let them know just how much of a stud he really is.

Warnings: Fluff, implied smut, swearing

Length: 2100 words

Pairing: Robert "Bob" Floyd x Female Reader

Check my masterlist for more!

"I'm a little nervous to meet everybody," you whispered to your boyfriend as you zipped up his jeans. You wiped the corner of your mouth, making sure your lips were clean before climbing onto his lap. You'd gone on four dates with him before he very nervously asked you to be his girlfriend, and since then, for the past month, you'd been so happy.

"Don't be nervous, Sweetheart," he replied, leaning closer to kiss your nose as he cradled you between his body and the steering wheel of his truck. "Everyone is going to like you. What's not to like?"

"Bobby," you said, adjusting his crooked glasses on his nose. "They are a tight knit group. If one of them doesn't like me, none of them are going to like me."

"Well, I like you plenty," he promised, and you turned to look out the window at his friend Jake's house where the Memorial Day party was in full swing in the backyard. "And Nat knows I'm wild about you. She told me she's happy you're coming with me."

You kissed him softly and then opened the door and started to climb down with his help. "I can't believe I get to meet the famous Phoenix."

Bob laughed. "She's larger than life. Hang on tight." 

And you did. You laced your fingers through his and let him lead you around the cute little ranch house and into the cozy backyard. Someone was grilling, there was music playing, and you saw a couple of kids blowing bubbles. But before you could take in anything else, there was a woman with dark hair and wide brown eyes in your face. 

"Bob. She's stunning."

Your boyfriend chuckled and pulled you a little closer. "Sweetheart, this is Nat."

"Oh!" you said brightly. "I've been looking forward to meeting you!"

"Holy shit," Nat replied, just shaking her head. "Good job, Bob. I mean, it's nice to meet you," she said, offering her hand and shaking yours. "Bagman is grilling some burgers, and there are drinks in the cooler."

"You want me to get you something to drink?" Bob asked, pecking you on the cheek. 

When you nodded, you watched Nat drag him away as she whispered, "Fucking hell, Floyd. You could have warned us that your new girlfriend looks like that." 

You rolled your eyes. Nobody usually made much of a fuss over you. When you turned to see what the group of kids was up to, you nearly bumped into a tall man sporting a mustache. Like a pornstar from the 80s. You almost laughed as he said, "Hey, I know we didn't come here together, but how'd you like to leave with me?"

"Excuse me?" you asked, bursting out laughing. "Did you really just say that?"

He shrugged at you, looking very smug. "My name's Bradley. We haven't met before. I'd definitely remember you."

You told him your name, and you were about to add that you came here with Bob, but then your boyfriend strolled back over with two cans of beer. He handed you one and kissed your cheek again.

"Oh, Rooster, this is my girlfriend," Bob said, and you watched Bradley's jaw drop as he looked at you, his eyes dipping down below your neck to the top of your dress as he blushed. 

"Sorry," he muttered, and he fist bumped a confused looking Bob as he walked away. 

"What was that all about?" your boyfriend asked. 

"Nothing," you replied with a smile as you sipped your drink. "Can we get some food? I'm starving, and I need to put something in my mouth right now."

"Really?" Bobby asked, cheeks flushing as he ran his fingers along the back of your hand. "You didn't get your fill in the truck?"

"Bobby!" you gasped, always a little surprised when he said something dirty to you. He was such a gentleman... usually. "I got my fill of you in the truck, but I need to make sure I have energy for later." You winked, and he was practically tripping over himself as he followed you across the patio toward the grill.

And that was where you met Jake. "Hey, pretty lady," he drawled. His accent was southern and cute, but nothing like Bob's, which you'd already gotten used to hearing whispering the sweetest things while he made love to you. 

"Hi," you said carefully as he studied your face. You were already feeling like maybe you didn't get off to the best start here, and the look he was giving you felt like a confirmation. 

"Damn it, Bob," he groaned, turning to look at your boyfriend. "Well done." Then he handed you a burger and told you to help yourself to some potato salad and snacks on the picnic table. 

"I don't think they like me," you told Bob as you dumped some pretzels onto your plate and sighed. 

"They do!" he insisted. "Just give them a chance."

"I'm trying," you promised before you bit into your burger. And thankfully Phoenix came back over and started chatting with you which made you feel a lot better. She asked you about work and told you how good Bob was at his job.

"He always makes sure he keeps everyone safe," she said, looking at Bob with appreciation in her eyes. "He's a great team player."

You smiled at her as Bob blushed. "He told me I could come visit him on base someday," you said as you wrapped your arms around him. "I'd love to see your Super Hornet."

"Bob, you'll have to let her check out your cockpit one day," Nat said with a chuckle. "Maybe she's not familiar with that yet."

"Oh, I'm very familiar with that," you whispered, just for Bob, and his cheeks turned a deeper pink still. 

"Sweetheart," he muttered, and you promised him you'd behave. 

Then someone was reaching for your hand and pulling you away from him. "You're Bob's?" he asked. And before you even answered, he said, "I'm Fanboy. I mean Mickey. Come play horseshoes with me. I'm terrible and nobody else will be my partner."

You waved goodbye to Bob and Phoenix while you laughed and joined the game. "If you're terrible, what makes you think I'd want to be your partner?" you asked as he finally let go of your hand. 

"I'm sure you don't, but I didn't give you a choice. That's Payback and Coyote," Mickey told you, and two more men waved at you. "We're playing against them." 

"Damn," they said in unison before the taller one added, "You're Bob's new girlfriend?"

"Yeah," you said, waving awkwardly. "It's nice to meet you."

"Are you sure you didn't get lost or something?" Jake asked you when he strolled over. "Really? Bob?"

You looked at all the guys and then over to Bob on the patio. "What do you mean?" you asked Jake.

"Don't listen to them," Mickey said loudly, cutting him off and handing you a horseshoe. "They're just jealous."

"Jealous?" you asked, starting to feel sick. They didn't like you. For some reason, you'd done something wrong. You tossed the horseshoe, but it was a terrible throw, and now you were embarrassed. "Can I ask what I did wrong? Because Bobby is so sweet, and I really wanted to make a good impression on his friends."

Mickey's eyes went wide. "You didn't do anything wrong!"

And that's when you heard Payback tell Coyote and Jake, "It's like beauty and the geek. I don't understand how it happend."

"Are they talking about me?" you asked Mickey, and he parted his lips like he was going to say something to you, but he turned to them instead.

"Guys, knock it off."

"I don't understand," you whispered, and finally Mickey showed you some sympathy.

"They all think you're hot. And they can't believe you're dating Bob."

You felt warmth flood your cheeks, and the other horseshoe almost slipped from your fingers. "Oh."

"Seriously, just ignore them," Mickey said, shooting the others a nasty look. "I like you. Everyone likes you. Let's play horseshoes."

So you played for a little bit as his words started to sink in. It just didn't make any sense. Bob was every bit as handsome as the rest of them. And he was sweet. Even sweeter than Mickey, who was currently trying to include you in the conversation. And Bob was so funny; last night he had you laughing so hard you had hiccups. 

Not to mention, Bob gave you the best sex of your life. Sure, you hadn't been intimate with him for more than a few weeks, but he was very attentive. He gave you everything you asked for. 

"Hey, Sweetheart," he said and you turned to see him strolling up to you. Your heart skipped a beat, and you wanted to kiss him until his glasses steamed up. 

"Bobby," you whispered, handing the horseshoes to Bradley so you could give him a proper hug. 

"You having fun?" he asked, rubbing his hands in soothing circles on your back. 

"Yes. Mickey and Phoenix are really nice. And the rest of them... I think they must grow on you over time?"

Bob started laughing and said, "You're not wrong."

"Hey, Four-Eyes, you and your girl want dessert?" Bradley asked, tossing one of the horseshoes up in the air and catching it.

"Um, y-yes," Bob said, clearly flustered now. 

"Four-Eyes?" you asked, scoffing at him. Were they making you feel a little awkward because they thought Bob was nerdy? "Wait, are you making fun of Bobby?"

At least Bradley had the decency to look a little embarrassed as you glared at him. "Yeah," he answered quietly.

"You think he's a nerd?" you asked the other guys, gesturing at Bob. 

Bradley shrugged. "Yeah, kinda." Jake, Coyote and Payback all looked like they wanted to agree.

You looked up at your boyfriend, and you could tell he was still embarrassed. He could barely meet your eyes as you pressed your palm against his chest. Then you could feel a smile creep across your face as you made sure you were loud enough for everyone to hear. "I think he's a stud." Then you kissed him hard in front of everyone, and sure his glasses were crooked when you were done, but you liked that about him.

"You do?" Bob asked softly. "A stud?"

You nodded up at him as you fixed his glasses. "You wanna leave, Bobby? I keep thinking about sucking your cock in the truck like I did earlier. I'm dying to feel your big dick down my throat again."

Jake let out a little strangled noise, and Bradley dropped a horseshoe on his own foot. Now the other guys were gaping at Bob, and they seemed to stand a little taller in his presence, suddenly impressed. 

Bob licked his lips and stared at you, completely entranced as you kissed his cheek. "Yeah. You know what, I think we should head out," he managed, his voice a little hoarse as he tightened his grip on you. 

"You're leaving?" Nat asked, walking over with a slice of cake. 

"Apparently Bob isn't as innocent as we thought," Hangman drawled, looking at your boyfriend with new appreciation. 

"It was nice to meet everyone," you told them, lacing your fingers through Bob's. "I'm going to go take care of Bobby. But maybe next time we can stay for dessert?"

"Make Bob bring you to the Hard Deck on Friday!" Nat called after you as you led him away. "I need more estrogen in my life!"

"Will you take me to the Hard Deck on Friday?" you asked him sweetly. 

"I'll take you anywhere you want, Sweetheart," he replied, still looking at you like he couldn't believe you were his.

You turned to wave and said, "See you on Friday!"

And then Bob pulled you close as he led you back toward his truck. "You didn't have to say all that stuff in front of them and call me a...stud. I'm used to them picking on me a little bit for being nerdy and having glasses and everything. I mean, I know it's true, Sweetheart."

You just laughed and shook your head at him. "Come here, stud." You pushed him up against the side of his truck and kissed him, slipping your tongue between his lips and tasting him. You rubbed yourself gently against the front of him and whispered, "Do I look like I deserve anything less than the sexiest, sweetest boyfriend?"

He swallowed hard and grunted, "No."

"That's what I thought. Now get in the truck, Bobby. I have something I want to show you."

----------------------------

Bob is a stud. Just try to argue with me about that fact. Thanks to @bradshawsbitch and @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls!

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