#theyre treated as if them coming back will make everything go back to how it was before but it cant

[miscellaneoussmp]

Bringing The Eggs back won't fix it. It simply won't. It's a domino effect, The Eggs' disappearance was just the first domino to fall.

Bad would still have faded becoming one with the soul vultures, and his words would still have dripped with a honey sweet poison.

Forever and Pac would have still taken the pills, and too wide smiles framed by tears would still have been plastered on their faces.

Tubbo would still have blamed himself, and he would still have banged on glass as lava threatened to drown him.

Etoiles would still have slowly become one with his sword and shield, and he still would have lost as the burden of being guardian weighted heavy.

Baghera would still have come back terrified of what her past truly means, and she would still have made promises of lovely decay.

Philza would still have been lured to a cage by a sweetly false siren song, and he would still have come back unsure of reality itself.

Foolish and Roier would still have hidden their emotions for the benefit of others, and their quiet despair would still have only been noticed by those closest to them.

The Eggs coming back does not fix any of this, does not erase any of this. It simply cannot be fixed that easily. The fallen dominoes are difficult to clean up.

[carcarrot]

well that was a shortlived good feeling about my job

[serendipitous-mage]

......... who's gonna tell him ... .. ill do it @markiplier

[ashwhowrites]

Could i request maybe a thing were theyre taking care of eddie after the upside down, hes sleeping on a pull out at bestfriend readers house, waynes at work, and theyre both in separate rooms, the reader is touching themselves and the walls are alot thinner than she realised, he can hear every whimper and eep she tries to cover and all the wet sounds

Eddie hasnt been able to touch himself for a long time because hes been too busy with recovery and appointments, he didnt realise how pent up he was until he could hear his best friend and never thought about her like that until now and he has no idea why he never realised how hot she was

Maybe one day he catches glimpses of her walking to the bathroom naked (she thought everyone was asleep) and next time he realizes he can see her through a crack in the door while shes at it, maybe through a mirror so he gets a full new or he can only see a part of her through the door, torturing himself

Idk how youd get to this point but she maybe helps him masterbate because she feels sorry for him, maybe thinks because of all the stress and meds, hes finding it hard to finish and hes frustrated that he cant go out and meet anyone.

Someone that isnt her and it makes her jealous and sad

But something snaps between them and they fuck

hes like a wild animal when he finally gets his hands on her, she was scared he was gonna hurt himself

Probably gets hard again seeing the swollen mess hes made of her cunt 😋

I hope this is what you wanted and you enjoy it! Thank you for requesting <3 I hope I gave all the smut justice

⚠️smut

BFF...best friends fuck

After the torture Eddie went through in the upside down, he struggled to be alone. He had night terrors, he had flashbacks any time he touched his cuts. And Y/N couldn't stand to see her best friend that way. She forced him to stay with her, she lived alone and could easily care for him when he needed it, Wayne was too busy with work. She was there for anything he called for. She helped with the night terrors and sometimes slept beside him. But he mostly kept to himself, which she understood. He went through something traumatic and needed time to process everything.

But she was a girl, who had a hot best friend that she's seen shirtless over and over. She ignored the way her cunt ached when she'd treated the cuts on his chest and stomach. He was vulnerable and it was wrong to be turned on when he was in that state. But his skin felt amazing underneath her fingers and her brain couldn't forget it.

The same fingers she ghosted over his chest with, were working inside her cunt. Two fingers pumping in her as she imagined Eddie's skillful fingers. Her brain always went dead when he played the guitar, dripping as he held the pick in his mouth.

Eddie struggled to sleep, every movement sent a hissing pain throughout his whole body. Most nights he didn't sleep, just stared at the dark ceiling. But he kept hearing these small whimpers. He couldn't move anywhere without help, so he tried to slide up on the bed. His ear was against the wall, and to his luck, he could hear. The sound was coming from Y/N's room. Eddie worried she might have been hurt, knuckles on the wall about to knock before he heard something else. She was moaning and sounded breathless.

"Fuck...yes." Eddie felt his cock growing hard. She was touching herself, and he didn't need to guess from the moans. He could hear how wet she was through the walls. He tried to keep his breathing stable, but he could hear she was getting closer. Her moans were becoming whimpers only, a blabbering mess as she came all over her fingers. He quickly went back into his sleeping position when he heard her door open, his own cracked, she refused to let him keep it closed. Through the small crack, he could see her sneaking into the bathroom. Eddie bit his tongue as he saw her in a shirt and panties. He only heard the sink runningbefore she headed back off to bed. Her door is now open.

Eddie wanted to smack himself for the sinful thoughts running through his head. It was Y/N, his best friend since childhood and now he's imagining how tight her cunt was.

He never looked or thought about her that way.

~~~

But now, it's all he could think about. He felt like he was in actual hell when she came in the next morning. Now wearing pants she sat on his bed. She treated his wounds with the same fingers that were soaked inside of herself. He felt himself staring at her fingers. Wondering which ones she used to fuck herself, If next time he could lick her fingers clean instead of the sink.

He tried to forget about each day, but it wasn't working. He found himself listening close to hear her at night. Even though it was torture, he found himself addicted to her sounds and wanted to hear them over and over.

Some nights his wishes were answered, a slight buzz sounding through the walls and her moans reaching his ears. He tried to move his hand down to his cock, but all his bones ached at the movement. He clenched his teeth as he fisted the sheets. He found himself imagining her again, wondering which position she was fucking herself in and where exactly the vibrator was touching. He wondered how she liked it, rough or soft. Did she like to be dominated? He tried to remember her past boyfriends, but found a new sense of jealousy he'd never felt before. He knew she had sex, she talked about it before. And it never bothered him. But now, he felt like he could strange every man that touched her and fucked her cunt.

He also wondered what or who she thought about.

~~~

Even though he was healing more and more every day, he was tortured by her. She was walking around in a towel, assuming he was off to bed. But his eyes locked on the mirror that showed through the crack of her door. She stood there as she slipped off the towel. Eddie felt a growl in his throat, he almost was pissed at himself for never seeing how hot she was in the first place. All his ex-girlfriends thought they had a thing for each other, and he laughed at it. But now he realized he was missing out the whole time. Eddie tried to look away but then her hands traveled up her tits, her fingers yanking on her nipples as one hand reached between her thighs.

Eddie felt his cock twitching, this time he didn't care how bad it hurt. He was so riled up and tired of the sexual frustration. He breathed through his nose as he reached for his cock. Biting back the pain as he wrapped his hand around himself. Pumping himself slowly as he watched her touch her body. Her thighs shook and she held on to the mirror, disappearing a little from his eyesight. He leaned over, itching his way closer to see. Then he felt his body falling.

"FUCK!" he screamed, his body slamming into the floor. He shoved his cock back in his boxers, her footsteps racing to him. She came in with the towel, worry on her face as she flipped on his light.

"EDDIE! OH MY GOD!" she kneeled beside him, checking to make sure he wasn't bleeding anywhere.

"I'm fine." He huffed even more, frustration building. She was touching his body again, she didn't have time to wipe her fingers clean and her smell was lingering in his nose. He could see the light reflecting off her wetness. He couldn't even get a fucking orgasm.

"You fell! Let me help you up ." Her arms went under his armpits but he shoved her off.

"I said I'm fucking fine." He spat, he was breathing hard. His breath smacked her face as she looked at him. His eyes were dark, and he looked pissed.

"I know you don't like help, but you need it." She spat back, rolling her eyes at his attitude. She tried again to lift him but he shoved her off again.

"LET ME FUCKING HELP!"

"I DON'T NEED FUCKING HELP!"

"YES YOU DO!"

"FINE, WANT TO HELP?" He screamed, his brain wasn't thinking anymore. He was pissed at her. Walking around in her towels, teasing him with her moans, and constantly fucking herself. He was suffering and he was frustrated.

"UM DUH!" she screamed back

"GO GET ME A PRETTY GIRL TO MILK MY DICK, YEAH?" he screamed, using all his strength to stand up. He breathed hard through his nose as he held himself up with the dresser. His chest heaving as he stared her down. He didn't even register fully what he said. But he kept talking. "What? You said you wanted to help. And right now, I need to have a fucking orgasm. So run along, find me a girl, and have her ride me, give me a fucking handjob, or suck me off. I don't care and I don't care who."

She was lost for words. She's never seen Eddie so riled up. He had a crazy look in his eyes, the sweat glistened off his chest, and he was clenching his whole body. His veins popped everywhere and his stomach was tight. That's when she finally looked down. His cock hard through his boxers. She couldn't ignore how wet the whole screaming match made her. And all the jealousy that rang through her bones like a bell. Like she'd send a girl his way to listen to her please him. Let a slut into her house so he could have a good fuck. She took a deep breath, trying to think rationally, and not off of her jealousy.

"Gonna help me or not?" He barked, irritated at her silence and stillness.

"I'm not bringing a girl here to fuck you." She said, standing her ground at his idiotic idea. No way would she put herself through that pain just to please him.

"Fuck you!" He growled

"Fuck me? Excuse me, I have done everything to help you! You are such a selfish asshole" She argued

"You threw a bitch fit because I wouldn't let you help. And now, you won't even help me. And why?"

"I'm not bringing a slut into my house. Get off yourself. End of discussion." She said, moving to walk out of his room.

"Not easy for me like it is for you." He laughed, slowly moving his body to the bed.

She froze at his door, turning around to face him as he struggled to crawl into the bed.

"What's that supposed to mean?" She asked

"Means I can hear you through these thin walls princess. I hear every whimper, moan, and orgasm. You have such a nice wet cunt, I can almost hear the wetness every time." He was making fun of her. The smirk on his face told him he was winning. She was embarrassed, she never knew how thin the walls were. Her best friend heard her getting off multiple times.

"Nothing to say now? I don't think I've heard you so quiet before." He laughed again, finally getting comfortable on the bed.

"Fuck you!" She huffed, he had no right to make fun of her, especially as a guest in her home.

"Why don't you? I bet you already think about it. Hm? Do you think about me when you touch that pretty cunt?" He pressed harder, she didn't want to crack and she didn't want him to know. But the caught look on her face gave her up.

"Oh, baby. Don't be embarrassed. It's okay, I'm not mad." He teased.

"Shut up, Munson." She warned she was getting irritated at his constant teasing.

But he kept going and going. His voice turned into a buzz that rang through her ears. He kept teasing her and she could feel the blood rushing to her ears.

"I SAID SHUT UP!" she screamed, marching to him, her hand wrapping around his neck.

Eddie was caught off guard by her reaction but felt himself moaning under her grip. She was puffing in his face and her eyes looked ready for a kill.

"Make me." He choked, a smirk on his face as she tightened her grip.

He took a deep breath when she let him go, her hands moving down to his boxers. He moaned as she yanked them off, his cock free to the air as he hissed.

She felt herself clenching at the sight of him. He was bigger than she thought, but he was gorgeous. His tip was leaking and the veins were pulsing. She settled on the bed and took him in her mouth. Slowly taking him further down her throat as she sucked him off.

Eddie felt every bone in his body melt. He deflated as he filled her mouth. He reached forward and held her hair. He made a ponytail in his grip as he bucked his hips against her. He wanted to keep his eyes on her, watch as she cried and took him all. But it felt so good. Her mouth was warm, and she swirled her tongue in a way that made Eddie's head spin. He's gotten head before, but nothing felt as good as this. He never imagined his best friend gagging on his cock, but it was a sight to see.

He knew he wouldn't last long with all the frustration, but he tried to hold off as long as he could. She popped off with a smile, a line of spit connecting from her lip to his tip.

"You can cum, I know you need to." Then went right back to taking him fully down her throat. He clenched as she gagged around him, he grew closer as he fucked up into her. For once his adrenaline took over the pain in his body, he couldn't feel a single thing as he came in her mouth.

He fell against the pillows, sucked free of any energy. He panted as she cleaned him up, and wiped off her mouth. His eyes fighting to sleep as his body finally relaxed.

"I'll see you in the morning." She said softly, pecking his forehead as she covered his body.

He wanted to say something but he was a blink away from falling asleep.

~~~

Eddie woke up the next morning feeling the most refreshed he'd ever been. His brain playing back the memories of the night before had his cock growing again.

But now he didn't know where their relationship stood or if it was a heat at the moment.

She came in like nothing changed, treating his wounds like the normal routine. He knew he was a dick to her and he felt guilty.

"I'm sorry for being an ass yesterday, and invading your privacy like that." He apologized, he watched as she awkwardly shifted and smiled.

"Thank you for the apology. I am very embarrassed and sorry too."

"Don't be. It's normal." He said it was a dumb move to mock her for something so natural. And something he knew he enjoyed.

"I'm sorry for the big fight too. I shouldn't have pushed you so much." She said, standing up as she finished treating him.

"I shouldn't have screamed at you and put all of that on you. I was sexually frustrated and took it out on you."

"I can understand that. It happens to all of us."

~~~

A few days passed and neither talked about what happened after the fight. Eddie couldn't stop feeling her mouth wrapped around him. And how good it felt to cum down her throat.

His body was healing and he could move a lot better. He didn't ache and he could finally go out again. But Y/N refused to let him be on his own.

That's how she found herself drinking with him at a bar. She kept an eye on him to make sure he wasn't going overboard. But she couldn't help but glare at every girl who had their eyes glued to him. She didn't even notice the eyes on her, Eddie's, and another guy down at the bar.

Eddie felt himself wanting to devour her, she wore a tight dress and he's been hard since she walked out in it. His eyes were on her mouth, remembering how she sucked the orgasm out of him.

"Want another?" She asked, knocking him out of his thoughts. She grabbed his glass and walked to the bar. His eyes followed her, his hand adding pressure to his hard cock as she leaned over to yell.

He clenched his jaw as he watched a guy walk up to her. He hated how she smiled and laughed. Before he could get up, a girl landed on his arm.

Y/N thanked the bartender as she walked back to her seat. Her eyes glared as a girl was whispering in Eddie's ear. She slammed the drinks down, making her presence known. The girl looked her way and then went back to Eddie's ear.

Y/N couldn't tell if he was enjoying it or not. But he wasn't stopping it. Y/N felt like she was masking her jealousy well but the smirk on Eddie's face told her otherwise.

Y/N rolled her eyes and excused herself to the bathroom, unaware Eddie was hot on her heels. But when she was slammed against the door as she closed it, she was aware.

"Eddie what?" She panicked

"It looked like you were going to kill her, back there." Eddie joked, chuckling.

"Eddie, please not right now." She sighed, she couldn't handle any more of his mocking about her feelings.

Eddie dropped his teasing act when he saw the tired look on her face.

"What's wrong?" He asked, his hands still holding her hands against the door.

"Not in the mood to hear you make fun of me." She said, her eyes dropping to the tiny space between them. His body was practically against hers.

"Sorry, you're right. I just thought it was cute how jealous you are. Like she has anything on you." He whispered, his finger pulling down on her bottom lip.

"Doesn't she?" Y/N asked

"What do you mean?" Eddie asked, cupping her chin as he looked into her eyes

"I mean I get you off because you couldn't do it yourself. And now we are out at bars, and you are flirting away with a girl. Perfectly healed to take her into the bathroom and fuck." Y/N explained

"You mean what I'm doing right now with you?" He asked, his knee pushing between her legs. She shuttered at the action and lost her breath.

"....you want to fuck me?" She swallowed

"Want to return the favor for the best orgasm of my life." He smirked, one hand still holding hers against the door and the other slipping down her body and moving in between her thighs. His fingers found her soaked panties, pushing them aside as he slipped his fingers inside of her.

"Fuck." She moaned

"That's right. Let me hear you." He growled, adding a third finger, fucking her harder. His mouth attached to her neck, sucking harshly on her fresh skin.

She whimpered against him. Rocking her hips into his fingers. She imagined this so many times and couldn't believe it was happening.

"pretty sounds from such a pretty girl." He praised, kissing the mark he left on her. He yanked his fingers out of her, sucking them clean. "Delicious." He moaned. She tasted better than he could have imagined.

"I'm gonna fuck your pretty cunt until you can't walk." He growled, releasing her hands as he took his cock out of his jeans. He flipped up her dress and ordered her to jump.

She wrapped her legs around him and locked her arms around his neck. She gasped as his cock filled her, stretching her open as he fucked into her.

It was rough and hot. Open mouths smashing against each other, breathing into each other. Her hands moved to his hair, yanking and pulling. His animal-like growls made her head spin. Or maybe the way her head was smacking against the door because of how hard he was fucking her is what made her head spin.

"Slow down...need to be careful." She tried to say, but it barely made it out. Just pants of words.

"I'll be fine." He wanted her, and he wanted to make her feel him for weeks.

His hands held her up, gripping her skin. His fingernails clinged inside of her skin. His cock bruised her. He carried her over to the sink, setting her down as he moved his hand between their bodies. His finger instantly found her clit, circling it as fast as he could. He loved the way her head fell back against the mirror.

"Look at you. Letting your best friend fuck you in a dirty bar bathroom. Pretty cunt is just as tight as I thought. Gripping me so good. Such a good girl for me." He praised, and she gasped over and over. Trying to form words but nothing.

"Please, let me cum." She finally got out, her fingers digging into his ass as he fucked into her.

"Sweet talker," he chuckled, holding her chin as he smirked down at her, "begging to cum? How can I say no to that? Cum for me."

Eddie watched as she soaked his cock, keeping himself deep inside of her as she came. She touched him everywhere. Her hands worked around his chest, his hips, his hair, and his stomach. Her hands pushed up his shirt to run her hands over his scars.

He felt his orgasm getting close, thrusting inside of her as he smashed his lips on hers. The second she kissed him back, he came inside of her.

Kissing her was a feeling he couldn't forget. How soft her lips were and how sweet she tasted. She kissed as softly as her hands worked on his skin.

He pulled away when he felt the need to breathe. A dazed look in her eyes as she looked back at him. He softly slid out of her, tucking himself back in his jeans.

"Let's go home, baby" he set her on her feet and pulled down her dress.

A big smirk on his face as she stumbled out of the bathroom.

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[weirdsht]

cale with an s/o that's mothers so hard (coos at the averaging 9 year olds, bakes/cooks for the knights, plays and trains with the wolf children) – absolutely soft for kids, loves cuddling the children and cooking for them^^

Biased Concern - Cale/Reader

notes: I combined 2 asks because the premise was similar

tags: fluff, no gender specified for reader, novel spoilers (war)

English isn’t my first language so there will be grammatical errors

Pls don't repost my work anywhere without my permission

Constructive criticisms and any kind of interaction are more than welcome

Requests are open and welcome

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another anon said: omg!! regarding the small preview you posted,, like there's the part in the novel where on and hong are in the eastern part with Ron and Beacorx while Cale has 3 days to live and smth smth + Raon going through his first growth phase (I don't really remember) so his s/o is in despair bc of the situation and they're like– ONE OF MY BABIES IS SICK AND ONE IS DYING AND THE OTHER 2 I DONT EVEN KNIW WHAT THEYRE DOING WAHHH 😔😔 that's all bye ✊️

Things are hectic. War is ongoing. Everyone is on their toes. Commander Cale Henituse is nowhere to be seen. Roan Kingdom’s Crown Prince Alberu Crossman is in a state of shock.

In short, things are chaotic.

However, it doesn’t look like that on the outside as most don’t have an idea what’s going on. Only very trusted people know just how everything is on the verge of being in shambles.

“I’m sure you were shocked your highness. Please forgive him. He has this terrible habit of throwing fast ones at random times.”

That was the first thing you said to Alberu as you entered his tent. The golden-haired man was already busy as it was. Now he has to cover and fill up Cale’s missing presence.

“I think I’m getting used to it now.”

You let out a short laugh at his response. Alberu said it with a nonchalant tone however his face conveys just how much of a headache Cale brings him. But it wouldn’t be Cale if he didn’t bring a headache.

“At least eat while you work your highness.”

Pushing the cart closer to where the crown prince is, you presented the foods cooked for today. On the plate, there’s a medium rare steak paired with some vegetables like asparagus, mashed potatoes, and others. It’s a simple meal, but it has all the nutrients and protein one would need. 

“Did you help cook this? You were fighting earlier you should’ve just rested.”

“It's not a bother at all Your Highness. Seeing everyone energetic is enough to make me energized as well.”

You smiled at Alberu as he started eating. Humming in approval at your cooking.

“When are you going to visit Cale?”

Alberu stopped eating for a second to ask you a second. You stayed silent at his question, deeply pondering about it.

On one hand, you wanted to visit him and check how the children and he is doing. On the other hand, you are still needed in the Gorge of Death. Especially since the others are gone. Your complicated thoughts did not go unnoticed by the quarter elf. He can easily tell just how worried you are for your significant other but also thinking of your responsibilities.

“Just go.”

“But Your Highness as Cale’s Deputy Commander–”

“Are you going against the word of the crown?”

That made you shut up. However, you were still hesitant. Cale’s absence already puts so much on Alberu’s plate. His responsibilities will overflow if you go away too.

“It’ll be fine. Just make sure to come back quickly. While you’re at it tell that punk to get well fast too.”

Alberu waved his hands. Telling you to go now, leaving no room for argument.

“I… Thank you, your highness.”

Soon enough you are inside Hope and Adventure Loving Inn. Specifically, you were inside Beacrox’s kitchen making sweet treats for everyone.

Just outside the kitchen the staff, the previous mountain bandits, are whispering among themselves. They’ve never seen anyone freely enter the chef’s territory so this is a shock for everyone.

“Thanks for letting me bake Beacrox! Take this portion and share it among yourself and the other staff.”

You smiled at the tall man with him only responding with a bow of gratitude. As you go out of the kitchen you see everyone acting a bit weird. It was so obvious they were trying to look busy while eavesdropping. One of them was even feather-dusting another employee’s face.

“You’re here nya!”

“We missed you nya!”

On and Hong greeted you respectively as Ron guided you upstairs. Indeed, you haven’t seen them since the opening of the inn. You said you were going to visit but things got delayed because of everything that happened.

“I missed you too. Now go share this among yourselves. Make sure to leave some for your youngest brother.”

You hugged the two for a bit before asking Ron to show you where Cale was. As he showed you the way you reluctantly let the two children go. Promising to play with them more later.

“I must warn you. The sight inside is unsightly.”

The servant warned you before opening the door. Sure enough, it was. The first thing that caught your attention was the foul stench of blood.

Speaking of blood, Cale was super bloody. He keeps vomiting blood like a water pipe with a leak.

“Oh my…”

You unconsciously said. The two heads lying on the bed turn to you. With Raon’s expression brightening up.

“You visited!”

“Well, I did promise to visit your siblings.”

Smiling, you welcomed the toddler into a warm embrace. Behind you, Ron excused himself to give the three of you privacy.

Cough!

A certain redhead deliberately coughed out blood louder than before. Clearly unsatisfied at you saying that you came to visit the children.

“Of course, I came to visit you too.”

You laughed, walking towards the bed to give your significant other a kiss on the forehead. The bed dips as you sit down on it, with Raon still in your arms.

“I take it that you successfully got the water ancient power? All this blood must be from your plate fixing itself then.”

One of your hands was stroking Cale’s hand while the other one fed Raon the singular cookie you had brought with you inside the room.

Cale’s eyes looked at you. Probably examining if you were hurt somewhere while being away from him. He then frowned as he saw you feeding the chubby dragon. Your gaze travels to where he seems to be looking and the jealousy makes you laugh.

“Yes, I made it. Yes, there’s still some left. Yes, I already prepared some greasy food to cook so you eat later after you’re well. No, I will not stop feeding Raon. Don’t be greedy, you already have most of my attention.”

The commander’s frown etched deeper in his face as you said the last part. His gaze seems to be asking you if you’re really concerned about his well-being.

“Of course I am.”

You chuckled.

“I wouldn’t left the Gorge of Death if I wasn’t silly.”

Pushing his hair back a little, you gave his forehead another kiss. Reassuring him that you didn’t just go for the children.

Later on, when Cale was feeling much better he asked you if you only got together with him so that the kids would favour you.

“Silly man, I don’t need to be with you for the kids to love me.”

“That’s right nya!”

“Certainly nya.”

“I’ll like my human’s human even if you aren’t together!”

The defeated Cale could only click his tongue in annoyance.

[notedchampagne]

What makes a tlt au work for you? Do u have any favourites out there/that you’ve thought of?

its hard because it can go down to the writing! i have a huge bias for things that put focus on the characters acting awful and driving the story forward- if a story has a plot thats great, but its the difference between "gideon and harrow keep meeting up at parties and fall a little bit in love every time" and "gideons angry she lost her childhood to the cult so she attends a party with the tridentarii to shotgun adolescent experiences, and harrowhark, frustrated that gideon is pulling on her metaphorical leash, follows to stalk her". the former retains a 5+1 fic format and is more bite-size, while the latter puts more focus into their growth as characters. im not great at articulating what i like specifically, but ill put my favorite fics below:

what if nona was dogs tugs at my heart: its post-canon, slice-of-life, and has a unique concept (said in the title). i judged a book by its cover because i thought the premise seemed too silly at first but ive been made a fool and its pet clown. it feels so true to nona the way its about all the things nona loves and how she gets to explore the world through new eyes. i love the way it explores characters softening up and getting hurt through a third person pov

we have always lived in the apartment by @thatneoncrisis i keep saying this but for the love of GOD guys this au is so good it makes me cry and feel such a deep catharsis from it. it takes gideon and harrow and the ninth as a cult and explores their struggle to adapt to a modern society when noone ever gets a break (WOW ITS JUST LIKE IN REAL L-). quinn writes the sides of griddlehark i think go overlooked in fanfic often: their codependency, their tendency to lash out when theyre defensive, their mutual paranoia and different coping mechanisms, harrows psychosis and gideons bitterness, their relationships to each other as being the only other person who really understands what the other suffered through. god. i feel lightheaded.

"but SAM, i dont like angst but i want to see this writing!" read gap between a tragedy and a comedy

"SAM, i also like when gideon and harrow are horrible because theyre maladjusted teenagers! but i want more antics where the characters drive things forward over angst!" read whats eating gideon nav

you just aint receiving is one of my FAVORITE modern aus of all time (and i heavily recommend the authors other fics as well!) if you really want to see how much i love this fic the fact that my comments take up the entire phone screen probably says a lot. its hard to put it concisely: it keeps harrows air of misanthropy and cruelty but redefines it as the result of her upbringing and personal struggle to live in a university while dealing with a backpack of mental illness and frustration. it changes gideons personality as the daughter of john gaius in a way that makes sense having her grow up with johns middling parenting skills and getting everything she ever wanted (connecting it back to kirionas personality in ntn!). it brings in side characters (specially palamedes. my beautiful boy palamedes) in ways that compliment harrow and gideon but not so obviously that they only exist to be supports. they have their own lives and ideals. its a modern au that brings in the boiling politics of johns cult uprising once again in a really novel way

semi charmed kinda life by @griddlebait. jesuchristo and all his middle names this fic is GREAT for you if you want a slice of life, coming of age type modern au that explores what its like for gideon and harrow if they actually got the space to see who theyd become outside of the stifling fate tlt has for them. as far as modern aus go im usually very hesitant to read them because im afraid modernizing the characters takes features away from their core but i really love and respect the way the author treats the 69ers with care and draws distinct lines that shows me how their grow and change while keeping a line to the anchor. also they write HIDEOUS (complimentary) PINING. DISGUSTING. some of these chapters were so chock full of dyke drama that they made me nauseous and whimsical. i think once a friend said this fic felt like if gh could be reincarnated and i like that descriptor a lot

til the cows come home is another postcanon fic that made me feel sick and crybabyish about it- i would definitely recommend it if you want to explore a happier ending with griddlehark! with this and what if nona was dogs the thing i like most about them is that they mix up vulnerability with pain and fear, so it feels more lifelike that way if that makes sense. i lost my taste in fluff fics over time but when its interspersed with struggle and characters causing problems because they cant cope with themselves it feels much more earnest and raw

this became very long. im not sorry

[naturesapphic]

HI. i read ur work and its like amazing!! can you please write something about the avengers at a team meeting and going throught old hydra files. they stumble across KGB files and find the name 'natalia alianovna romanova' and they dont know who that is until natasha says its her. then they read the files and theyre like horrified when they see things like her kgb and red room mission reports, punishments ect. idk if this is what you write but hopefully it is <3

The truth

Natasha romanoff x the avengers (platonic), Natasha Romanoff x fem!reader (romantic)

Warnings: hurt/comfort, violence, past traumas

“Okay guys give me the next file.” Steve says and Tony reaches over to hand Steve a file that has the name “Natalia alianovna romanova”. Steve opens it and he furrows his brows as he reads everything. “I have no idea who this person is. Do y’all know?” Steve asks as he hands it to each person and Wanda hands it to nat and her face hardens. You look over at her worriedly and you put your hand on her arm.

“It’s me.” She said coldly and everyone looks at Natasha shocked. She looked back down, avoiding everyone’s eyes, including yours. You scoot closer to your girlfriend and gently kissed her cheek, whispering in your ear. “I’m here nat…” you say and nat doesn’t say anything but gently grab your hand that was beside her. Each person read the file one by one, of course with nats permission because even though it’s in a file, they don’t want to disrespect her like that.

They read about how she got taken away by a child and how she got recruited in the red room. How they trusted and punished her to be the best spy in the world. Some of them had to skip over the punishments and the mission reports because it was just that gruesome. Everyone gave nat a horrified but sympathetic look. The only one who wasn’t surprised was Clint but that was because they are best friends and she had him help her escape from dreykov’s hold on her.

“This doesn’t make you who you are nat. Your past doesn’t defy you.” Wanda speaks up as she breaks the silence and everyone nods at her statement. “We don’t look at you any differently now.” Bruce put in and you agreed. “Yeah…this doesn’t change the fact that you are still the same nat I’m still deeply in love with but I did wish you would have told me.” You said and nat looked up at you with guilt. “You’re right I should have told you. All of you. I just didn’t want y’all to treat me any differently. I know what I had done was wrong and that’s why I’m doing what I’m doing now. To clean my ledger.” She said.

You leaned over and gave nat a gentle kiss on her forehead making her smile a bit. “Well we are all proud of you at how far you’ve come and we love you natty. Especially me.” You joke and wink at her. She chuckled and gave everyone a smile. “Thank you all for your understanding.” Nat said and everyone gave her a smile, including you. “We are always here for you nat. Always.” Everyone said.

A/n: I haven’t been doing good at endings so I apologize but I hope you enjoy this anon and I hope everyone else did too! Remember to stay hydrated and to rest! Please take care of yourselves <3 I love you!

[prof-peach]

what is the weirdest enrichment you do thats normal for the pokemon? i have a dreepy who likes to launch herself out of a modified tennis launcher. worst thing that happened is that she phased through a few house

Mud rolling for phanphy that never got that opportunity. As in, theyre nervous around their own species because of isolation, and so YOU THE PROFESSOR have to get in the mud and teach them how to phanphy. Messy but fun, no one else likes to do it weirdly, I always rather enjoyed it.

furret tube enrichment. Grey sets up a bunch of pipes all connected in weird and wild ways like a janky jungle gym, we put small treats in there, and tie "prey" ie, toys, to strings and pull them at speed through the maze to get the furrets to chase and learn that behaviour if they never got to prior.

Murkrow are VERY smart, and we have a lot of them, so theres regular scavenger hunts (with a few rules to save guests grief) that we hold for them specifically. everyone gets participation rewards, but also its a great chance for them to sharpen their problem solving skills individually and as a group.

Tug of war with guests. we got this set up that lets the bigger mons hold one end, and visitors or other pokemon are encouraged to engage with the game and try to out pull the island residents. sometimes the little pokemon all join in, but we originally set it up for the bigger ones.

Theres a couple of Tauros and girafarig that like to roll own hills with the wooloo and odd mareep, we've set up sturdier wire nets for this now the heavy mons like to partake too, to catch them all safely so they can run back up and do it again. You can imagine the chaos we had when they started doing this and didnt have that net in place, mons rolling too far towards sea cliffs.

Slugma races. This needs no explination. The staff love this one.

Movie nights, sport teams, dance sessions, story time, arts and crafts, and even band practice are clubs we hold, be it a professor or another group of staff, and many mons can come and go as they see fit, theyre all optional but we try to encourage each resident to find the thing that makes them tick, and so trying out a bunch of things is there for all. Some may not like team sport with the staff so I also offer just gym time, a personal best system in place more than a group effort and score.

It really varies from one to the next. some big mons like dainty hobbies, some of the little ones are brawlers, and everything in between. We just have to cater to it!

A nice example is a Hitmonchan that came in a while back missing a leg, they fight with me and others in the gym of course, but they also partake in a tea and stories night, a couple dozen pokemon, a few staff all cosying up in one of the event barns with readings from books, and plenty of snacks. its a firm favorite as autumn creeps in, numbers spike.

Pokemon can be complex, so offering lots is alwasy the best choice when you can, never know what they'll like until they try it!

[bones-of-a-rabbit]

the abandonment issues au,,

where Sun and Moon gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss their way into ur heart

and then turn into sad wet baby kittens when u find out and call them out on it <3

(copy and pasted from the space aces discord, sorry fellas lmao)

abandonment issues au:

ok what if. fucked up au time

where. reader is the new daycare assistant or a mechanic or smthn idk theyre working withh Sun and Moon thats the important part

i think it works better if theyre like, Sun n Moon's handler? Bc they r closer that way and it makes it more fucked up lmaooooo

so basically. this takes place right after Sun n Moon had their best friend-handler person leave bc Sun n Moon had been acting increasingly volatile n buggy n rlly just having issues but the more the previous handler tried to talk to them abt it and fix it the more they got anxious abt getting decommissioned and would cover up the problems n act like nothing was wrong

and eventually one day the previous handler nearly got rlly hurt and knew they had to leave bc it wasn't safe for them and they left a detailed warning/report for the mechanics

(and they didnt say goodbye, not out of malice or anything just bc they didnt want even more reasons for Sun n Moon to act up/potentially hurt them or themselves)

so. the mechanics did a total clean up of Sun n Moon's system, basically left their memories but scrubbed their data of a lot of the 'feelings' they'd had- mostly wiping away the feelings tied to 'good' memories, and the only thing Sun n Moon could do to fill in the void of 'feelings' was assign different feelings in their place, so when they once looked back and felt happy or nostalgic, now they feel confused and angry and sad and betrayed bc why was all of that happiness taken from them?? why did their handler hurt them like this??

so the scrubbing of their systems, which was one thing they really really didn't want to have done for fear of losing their memories entirely, DID work in putting their issues on a much lower level,, but it didn't get rid of the issues entirely. Now they're just,, easier to hide or play off or ignore. They're careful around the kids, of course, but they do at times have trouble with their motor controls or their speech will glitch slightly, etc

a few handlers come and go, never staying for more than a week or so- none of them really care about the job, don't see Sun n Moon as coworkers but more like fancy 'machines' with no real thoughts or emotions, they normally leave after Sun or Moon has a glitchy moment and nearly hurts them or, in at least one case, does hurt them by squeezing their wrist too hard. more often than not, the ppl applying for the position read the list of warnings n cautions and are like 'hell nahh' and bail immediately

then. in comes,, reader. local dumbass. most endearing of idiots. a bit dense. very much clueless. dearly beloved

you're the first one to really treat them like your coworkers, making small talk and being friendly and kind and patient and laughing at their jokes. you smile when you introduce yourself, offering your hand for them to shake- not afraid of them or their little twitches at all. god, how they missed that. you remind them of their previous handler, if only in how you see them like theyre people and not machines.

and they make a mutual agreement to do whatever they can to keep you as their handler. even if it means dodging around company rules and policies by doing something like crumpling up the confidential 'warning' forms, ortelling the occasional white lie, like forging your signature onto the papers when your back is turned and making sure it makes it to your manager without either of you noticing who exactly was putting it on their desk.

you've already started calling them your friends the first time they have a glitchy moment. you're doing detailing work on their endoskeleton, really just cleaning dust away and making sure everything looks the way it does in the manual, when they break something- a tablet, a pen, your phone, whatever it is, it happens in an instant and startles you.

when Sun n Moon come to and realize whats happened theyre terrified. what if you use this as some kind of excuse to leave? What if you abandon them, just like their previous handler did? What if you start treating them differently, or you tell the staff that they need to be scrapped

so when you ask what that was about, they're frantic, quick to come up with something, anything that might make you shrug and forget all about it,

"Well, you WERE just working on their insides, right? That must have been something YOU did to suddenly make us do something like THAT! There's no way else it could have happened. Right?"

You take the lie hook, line, and sinker, apologizing profusely, promising to try harder to make sure nothing like that happens again. The relief they feel is almost euphoric. They pat you on the head kindly, reassuring you that they know you didn't do it on purpose, it was just a little mess up! You're fine, friend, we forgive you.

From then on, they dodge blame and truth alike, most often redirecting your attention to something you must have said or done to make something so strange and out of character for them happen so suddenly, and you believe them, full of apologies and careful words and actions and nervous worrying about doing things wrong and hurting them somehow. It's cute, how anxious you can get. It's cuter, how you melt for their comfort and reassurance. 

They play the song and dance with you again and again, weaving doubt and guilt into you more and more frequently. Until one day, you mumble something about how 'maybe i'm not cut out for this, maybe i should switch to be on the janitorial team instead, or some other department, i don't want to hurt you guys, or-or be the reason someone else gets hurt, i clearly dont know what im doing, and it's only gotten worse, maybe i should talk to my manager,,' and they panic

don't be silly, friend!!!! you can't just leave like that, what about the kids, what about that puppet show you had helped them plan, did you really want to just abandon all that?? so what if maybe they had the occasional hiccup, you were always there to smooth it over, who cared whether they dropped things from time to time, or- or broke a toy or two, that didn't matter, did it??? You were getting so good at being their handler, your little mistakes were normal, come on, you don't want to leave your very best friends. Do you?

and you cave, agreeing to stay, and they are so, so extremely careful to hide their little moments from you for several weeks, making sure you don't notice their tiny twitches or split seconds of glitchy voices, maybe keeping a closer eye on you than would be comfortable, watching over your shoulder each time you type up a report about the day, giving the manager a loathsome glower behind your back whenever they happen by,, and every time you leave you say 'i'll see you guys tomorrow!,' they grab onto your sleeve and respond with 'promise?' so you always know that they really, really do want you to come back

and then. one day,, you decide to go looking in their files for something small and silly, like what kinds of updates had been added to their pick-up protocols, and you find the warnings and cautions forms

and you see your signature on them, but you would definitely remember this and you are absolutely certain you have never seen these papers in your life. and you take the papers and you go to ask them about it.

"i thought you said you never had any problems before? you told me you never had any issues before but this- this is full of things that you- and you, you've been having these problems for that long??"

they stumble over their words, frantic, panicked, backpedaling on everything theyve ever said, trying meekly to grab the papers from your hands, piling excuses on excuses 

"you knew? you knew you were having these problems, and you didn't tell me? and you- you told me it was my fault!"

you're close to tears, hurt that they lied more than anything. you keep backing away from them, dodging their attempts to get the forms. they don't know which is worse- seeing that look on your face, or when they were left without so much as a goodbye.

"you could have told me. i thought i was the reason for everything, i thought i was hurting you, and you just... you lied right to my face and let me think that."

theyre putting on their best soothing voice, movements slow and gentle, wanting to comfort you and wipe those tears away and reassure you somehow that this- this isn't their fault, none of it is, it never was, they're fine and you're fine and nothing was ever wrong, and everything will be fine if only you calm down and stay

you can tell they arent really listening. you take a deep breath and turn away from them, scraping the tears from your face. you tell them you're going to go home and write up a report about all of this and when you come back you can go over it together before you send it to management, but right now you're leaving because you need space to breathe and time to think

but all they hear is that you're leaving, and they panic.

they don't hurt you, of course! but right now you're not allowed to leave.

you try to shut out the sound of them crying and apologizing and begging, even if it breaks your heart, because right now all you want to do is go home and lie in your stupid bed and have a stupid cry in your favorite pajamas. but you try every door you can think of- none of them open. you've sstayed past closing more than once, but the doors aren't normally shuttered for another two hours,, and you're pretty sure the night guard isn't even here yet

the entire time you're walking around the 'plex, Moon is trailing sadly behind you, waiting with the saddest, most pathetic wet cat look an animatronic can achieve, for you to turn and face them again

and thus begins what is probably the longest night of your life, spent trying to avoid your animatronic friends/coworkers who are acting like the worlds clingiest ex who just got broken up with and who can't stop dropping sad love songs in ur dms

by the time morning rolls around, they agree to actually go to parts n services and cooperate and try their best to get whatever is wrong with them repaired, even if it means they might get decomissioned. in the mean time, you promise to come back once they're fixed and work with them to help them get back to their old selves- or at least, back to how they were before any potentially dangerous bugs

basically this is the 'sun and moon have abandonment issues and gaslight you abt it' au

idk what else would happen tbh idk why i thought this au needed to exist either but here we are *lays facedown in a puddle*

[hauntingkiki]

OKAY SO idea with sloan! Sloan has a crush on another co-worker, and is telling reader alllll about it, gushing over her, giggling about her, etc., all while reader has a crush on Sloan secretly

:( baby doesnt know theyre so loved by reader

Ending can be fluff though, where it turns into Sloan pining for reader instead!

oh. my. GOD I LOVE THIS SO MUCH!!

people who request sloan/venture things HAVE MY HEARTTT ILYYYY

Let Me Be the One for You

Sloan x Reader

OverWatch

2nd POV

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

today was day 91. simply; three months.

three long and exhausting months.

you, y/n I/n, have had a huge crush on your coworker for three months.

your crush, sloan camron, has been oblivious about your feelings for three months.

as of now, the two of you are sitting together, eating lunch and talking about whatever comes to mind.

"oh! and then aurora found me some quartz, since she knew i've been looking for them for YEARS." sloan beamed, pulling out a small handful of raw quartz from their pocket. the crystals were a plethora of colors; hazy grays, pinks, and clears were scattered in sloan's palm.

you nodded in agreement, gently picking up one of the stones that laid in their hold. "yeah, these are really pretty." you cooed, moving the rock around in your fingers, the gem glistening in the sun that was starting to set. "she has a great taste in rocks." you punned, making sloan snicker. you gently gave the rose quartz back to its owner, sloan taking a final look at them.

they shoved the rocks back into their pocket, grabbing their fork to eat their lunch again, which was hand made tamales made by their grandma. "but anyway, none of the boys want to go into the deeper part of the cave; i was wondering if you wanted to tag along!"

you glanced up from your food, which consisted of f/f and half a tamale from sloan. nodding, you started to eat the treat from your friend, a faint smile on your lips. "sure, i'd love to!" you gushed, a hand ghosting over your mouth since you accidentally started to talk with your mouth food, a habit you were taught not to do. swallowing, you finished up your lunch before packing up.

sloan grinned, their cheeks a faint pink as they took your trash into their hands once they were done with their food. they stood up once they got all of the garbage, turning in their heels as they spoke. "great! we'll go in an hour, yeah?" sloan quirked a brow, looking over their shoulder.

you nodded, humming in agreement. "works for me!"

sloan smiled softly and gave you a wave, walking with their chest puffed out toward a nearby garbage bag then to their tent when they discarded the trash.

you smiled stayed on your lips until they were out of sight, a frown twisting on your face as your head fell into your hands with a groan.

you've done everything you could think of in order for them to notice your feeling for them.

you told them that they looked great in a suit, that their eyes stood out with the colors they picked for the fancy dinner.

you fluttered your eyelashes a little extra every time you saw them, a little more when you talked to them.

you described them to a tea as your 'dream partner', but all they said was 'you'll find them! don't worry!'

you gently pulled at your hair as more memories popped into your mind, the hint getting bigger and bigger as they went on. 'jesus, how dense are they?' you thought, your eyes peeking through your the gaps between your fingers.

"still nothing?" one of your friends, samantha, questioned, sitting next to you on the rock.

"no." you huffed, pulling your hands away from your face. your eyes stayed on the mud in front of you, footprints scattered around the soft ground. "i feel like whitney houston wrote that song for me...the 'how will i know' one..."

samantha threw her head back as she hollered a laugh, clutching her sides. "it sure seems like it!" she giggled, wiping the tears from her eyes. "or maybe you're living in her song."

you shrugged with a snort. "feels like it." sighing, you pushed yourself off of the rock, stretching and cracking your joints. "well, i got a 'date' in an hour, so i got to get my gear on for that."

samantha's face softened at the statement, cocking her head to the right faintly. "y/n, really?" she gasped, standing up and stepping in front of you. she shook her head, her afro slightly bouncing with her movements. "girl, you're just hurting yourself by doing this. you need to tell sloan how you feel." she placed both hands on your shoulders, gently rocking you back and forth with knitted brows.

you ran a hand down your face, dirt getting smeared against your skin. "it's not that easy, sam." you protested, looking at her gear before meeting her eyes. "i work with them, we're in the same group. if i was in your group, then i totally would."

she tilted her head side to side, flexing her fingers as her palms stayed on your shoulder blades. "i get that. but it's been three months-well, technically longer- but you need to tell them." she jerked her head towards the area sloan's group was camping out. "if you don't do it soon, i will."

you slouched forward, your head tilted back as you whined, your hands gripping at your hair.

a nearby coworker walked past, stopping when samantha and you caught his attention. "sloan?" your coworker, axel, laughed, gear in hand as he made his way over to you two.

sam nodded, letting go of you as you fell back onto the rock. she crossed her arms, turning towards the taller, muscular man. "yep. won't seem to get the hint with this one." she teased, pointing at you with a thumb. "she's got a 'date' with them in an hour."

axel quirked a brow at that, his eyes slightly wide. "date?" he repeated, dropping the gear in his hands and turning towards your shriveled up position.

"YES!" you screamed, your hands flailed around in exasperation, startling the people around you. groaning, hurled back over, you wept into your hands. "we're going exploring deeper into the cave together." you pointed over in the general direction of the cave the two of you were going to go into.

"just..." axel started, eyeing you with an idea forming in his mind. "the two of you?"

you nodded, lifting your head up to see him softly smirking down at you.

"and you're going into the deep part of the cave, yeah?" he asked again, rubbing his hands together which made you gulp with a head nod. "the part where you need a pulley and gear for?"

you agreed hesitantly, sitting up fully. "yesss?" you dragged on, standing up after a moment. "why-why does it matter?"

samantha seemed to catch on, 'ooo'ing at axel with a smug expression that twisted her face.

"let's just say i can help you out." axel grinned, grabbing the gear off of the rocky ground.

•••

venture arrived at the deeper cave entrance. five minutes early per usual, but instead of being alone, there were two guys waiting at the entrance.

those two guys knew sloan's secret.

"kayden? zane?" sloan gasped, adjusting their gear as they made their way over to the two. "what are you guys doing here?" sloan started to sweat, their hands shook as they gripped the buckles that held straps of gear in place.

"we're your pulley guys." zane shrugged, cocking his head toward the steep decline into the earths crust. "ya know, for y/n and you."

sloan nodded. "o-oh." they gasped faintly, getting the straps to their liking, getting go of the cold metal that soothed their hot palms.

kayden sighed after a moment of long, painful silence. "sloan, can we be honest with you?" he asked, crossing his arms and shifting his weight to his right foot.

sloan nodded, swaying on the balls of their feet. "yeah-yeah, what's up?" they tilted their head to the side, swallowing hard.

"you're totally fumbling." zane piped in, also crossing his arms.

"yeah, she's been playing her cards right for MONTHS." kayden added on, pointing at the campsite.

sloan stumbled back, appalled at their outbursts. "what are you talking about?" they asked.

"Y/N!" they both groaned, trying to get it through their thick skull.

“fumbling? y/n?” they repeated, titling their head to the side like a lost puppy. “what are you two talking about?”

“sloan, she LIKES you.” zane huffed, rubbing his temples in annoyance. he loved sloan, but sometimes it was hard to get them to understand.

sloan shook their head, tapping their canteen with their fingertips. “no, no she doesn’t.” sloan shot the idea down. “she likes someone else.”

the two started at sloan in disbelief, their mouths slightly ajar as they glanced at each other then back to sloan.

sloan blinked a few times, a brow raising awkwardly as the two guys started at them in disbelief.

“you’re joking…” zane muttered, snapping out of his state.

sloan slowly and unsurely shook their head before becoming confident. “i’m…i’m not joking.” they chuckled awkwardly, rubbing a hand through their hair. “she described someone else-“

“yeah- YOU.” kayden laughed, throwing his hands on their shoulders. “who else has a chipped tooth with dimples? and flame tattoos on their neck?!”

zane nodded, walking over to kayden and placing a hand on the man’s shoulder. “and do you think a girl would compliment their…their-uh…” zane gulped, an unsure face expression pinged on their face.

“guy?” sloan quirked a brow with a monochrome expression.

“yes! no girl would compliment their guy friend who’s wearing a tuxedo to a company dinner.” zane snapped his fingers, his eyes vast as he spoke.

suddenly, it clicked in sloan’s head.

all of your interactions suddenly made sense to them in that moment.

“holy shit.” sloan gasped, their eyes darting to the floor, their cheeks turning into a deep wine red.

“i’m not late, am i?” you called out, jogging over to the three with a sweat drop. your attention flashed over to kayden as he flashed you a look, making you gulp with a slight nod. “sloan, you ready?” you walked over to them, smiling brightly.

sloan slowly nodded, making eye contact with you as they reached out for the hook that was tied at the end of the rope. “y-yeah..” they whispered, clipping the hook into their gear.

you followed in suit, the two of you slowly slipping into the jagged hole, your faces inches apart due to how small the hole was.

as the two of you went deeper into the ground, the darker it got, but small glows of color illuminated the tight squeeze, causing the two of you to stop and admire the beauty, and the occasional pick of rocks, gems and other goodies which went into your pockets for further research.

“wow…” you breathed out, looking around as small amounts of color highlighted your skin in all the right places, making sloan’s heart rate race. “it’s beautiful in here.”

they hummed in agreement, swallowing before clearing their throat, catching your attention. “do you…like me?” they whispered without reason, the two boys at the surface weren’t able to hear anything sloan and you were saying due to how far you both are, but they still couldn’t risk it.

your face flushed into a bright red, a coughing fit started which made sloan panic. “w-what?” you gasped once you calmed down from your attack, your eyes darting between theirs.

“do you like me?” they repeated louder this time, glancing away in shame.

the two of you fell silent, both of your hearts racing at the question that was brought up out of nowhere.

had they finally caught on?

did all the pieces of the puzzle click in their head?

or where they far fetching with said question and seeing if you’d bite, then when you’d answer they’d laugh in your face and tell EVERYONE once you two were back on the surface and they’d embarrassed you so badly that you’d have to quit your job, change your identity, move to a new country, and you’d have to find a new job and-

“i’m not mad!” sloan reassured almost instantly when the thoughts in your head started to get anxious. a hand made it’s way to their neck, their eyes lock with your vast, glassy ones. “i just…i just really, really want to know.”

you gulped, sweat building up above your brow and another places you don’t want to be thinking about as you felt the liquid make your joint slick. you clamped your eyes shut, faintly tilting your head down before nodding. “i do..” you mustered out, your voice cracking. you made eye contact with them, your eyes glassier than before. “i have for the longest time! i’ve tried EVERYTHING for you to notice, i-i tried complementing you, i tried acting a little more ‘extra’ around you. you name it, i’ve probably done it.” you let out a weak chuckle, your face and body unbearably hot as waves of heat rolled over you.

sloan’s body also started to become unbearably hot, their eyes the size of plates at your confession.

“and don’t get me started on why i like you.” you waved both hands around awkwardly in the small space, rolling your eyes as you snickered. “like-like how your eyes light up when you talk about your interests, or when you’re outside, when the sun hits your eyes just right which reveals small golden flakes around your pupil. or when you think about something, your left dimple peeks out for no reason, you don’t even do anything but it’s there for some reason. a-and when your holding back a laugh, your lips curl slightly and you can see your chipped tooth-“

“i like you.” sloan interrupted, face completely flushed from your ramble.

you froze, your face slowly turning red as you let the words settle. “n-no you don’t.” you shook your head. “you like…you like aurora- you never stop talking about her.”

sloan shook their head in disagreement, making you softly gasp. “i-i don’t…” they admitted, their fingers fidgeting at a strip of leather. “she’s was a stupid cover up crush cause i thought you didn’t like me, and i was trying to cover up my feelings so i wouldn’t get hurt in the long run.”

silence took over the two of you again, the sound of cloth shifting echoed in the small confinement.

sloan inched their hands towards your face. their dirty, calloused hands cupped your red, hot cheeks, their right thumb gently rubbed against your cheek bone. their eyes glanced between your eyes and down towards your lips before repeating the cycle about five more times. sloan started to lean into your face, their eyes slowly fluttering shut.

you gulped harshly, also leaning towards them as your eyes clamped shut. your hands found their way onto their chest, your left hand sliding up their chest and snaking up into their dark curls, your right hand staying over their heart as you felt it pound against their ribcage.

the two of you eventually met in the middle, your lips crashing gently against one another’s. sloan’s lips were, surprisingly, slightly chapped, as if chapstick was applied an hour or so ago before coming down into the cave, as if they knew this was going it happen (they didn’t btw). their lips were slightly plump and full as they moved in sync with yours, but you assumed it was good genes from their parents- which you were correct cause when seeing pictures, their mom had lovely lips.

butterflies fluttered in your stomach as you pulled them closer into you, both of your heads slightly turning to the right as you both deepened the kiss faintly, like you both have been craving this for years.

pulling away, the two of you stayed inches away from each other, your lips ghosting over one another.

“that was amazing.” sloan suddenly whispered, their lips faintly brushing against yours as they spoke certain letters.

you smiled, giggling softly as you leaned into their left hand. “kiss me again.” you muttered, making eye contact with them.

their eyes sparkled as they pulled you into another kiss, both of you smiling into it.

•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED!! THIS WAS SOOO MUCH FUN TO WRITE I HAD TO MAKE SURE IT WAS PERFECT!!

sorry there wasn’t a lot of gushy, sloan yapping about their crush to reader! i completely spaced it!😓

[itgomyway]

(you)r sp and you ♡

i have already made a post about how you should love yourself and your sp will love you almost as much (bc they actually are you!) but lets go into more detail

a lot of you guys, including me, wanted to get into a relationship. and with that, youve discovered the law of assumption. the basics start off with whatever you assume will be. but after months of arguing, harassment, and bullying on twitter, you’re probably confused and too scared to ask.

FUCK THAT. let me be the one to tell you that none of it matters. you very much can and WILL manifest your sp. others false opinions (false because theyre not real) mean nothing. this isnt a loass post though im talking about non dualism (which is not the same).

“but wait… i want my sp and non dualism isnt about getting so why would i-“ because your sp shouldnt be someone that brings you happiness. they should be someone who adds to your quality of life. why does that sound like loass vs non dualism? because it is.

people use the law of assumption to manifest desires for their physical world. theres nothing wrong with that! that is how i manifested my current relationship. however, when we speak about non dualism, it goes beyond trying to get anything. youre just being. and “getting” into a relationship can very much help or make your false sense of self feel better. you as consciousness know relationships themselves dont exist because it is you but your ego, the false sense of self doesnt know that. it wants to experience love as part of the human condition. but youre still not getting anything. lemme explain.

you were trying to “get” something that was never outside of you TO make you happy. that doesnt make sense when not only are they you, but they are apart of you. everything your awareness is on “reflects” how you feel about yourself because all there is is you.

lets go back to non dualism’s basics. everything is consciousness = you creation is brought on by your awareness = you. “but back when x happened-“ the past and the future do not exist. the only thing that exist is now. you cant “apply” this way of thinking to something that doesnt exist. that makes no sense. youre just going to confuse yourself. i am telling you RIGHT NOW the only truly real thing is YOU. that is all there is and will ever be. you can control your awareness through observations meaning youre in total control. read that again.

so when it comes to your sp, romantic or not, they are never not yours. they were never not you or not a part of you. every thought, feeling, affirmation, or word you wrote down, they have received. because its you. think about it. are you ever aware of anything youre unaware of? (no). because things only exist the moment youre aware of them!

and remember, if something can come to our awareness like a relationship and leave our awareness it is not real. but you, as consciousness are infinite and are always here and always consciousness. so you are real!

after discovering non dualism i have thought about the feelings my boyfriend has presented to me and how they currently match the feelings i have for myself. i have always loved myself and will always love myself. if i didnt, how could i expect my creation, which is a projection of my own self image, to have different feelings than me? your sp isnt a separate person. Your relationships will always show how you feel about yourself, romantic or platonic. they’re not real because they come and go through your awareness but your ego as the false self believes they are. and thats okay. thats its job. let it be and observe them as consciousness.

nothing can happen outside of your awareness because the moment you are aware/conscious of something, it exist instantly. so if your sp is treating you the way you dont want to be treated then reflect on your own feelings about yourself. this DOES NOT necessarily mean work on your self concept. ask yourself if “you” think youre worthy of what it is your ego desires. a lot of my blockage came from that. i had to fall in love with myself so my ego could comprehend how i could be loved. because its still me.

lets talk about “free will”.

“free will” doesn’t exist. lemme tell you why. the idea of free will is a person outside of you having a say in their own life. the basic principle of non dualism means theres only one being, consciousness (you). so tell me how can “another person” “outside” of you have a say in their “own lives” when none of that exist in the first place?

your sp having or not having free will shouldn’t effect how you feel about them unless you see them as a separate entity outside of you. they’re not an “object” you control theyre your creation and another form of consciousness so of course you have control over your creations you have control over EVERYTHING.

your sp feels the same way you feel about yourself. always. if you dont feel good about yourself then i do suggest working on your self concept. not to “get” anything but for YOURSELF! why not love yourself? why cart that responsibility off to your creation?

at the end of the day, itll just be you surrounded by your creations. you can pick and choose what they are specifically BUT THE ONLY REAL THING IS YOU

© itgomyway

[sircantus]

OOOOO the dark sbi one sounds fun! Are there any other wips that is dark sbi?

Anyways I am VERY interested in Yoink the identity one please do share🙏

Funny you say that bc yoink the identity is also a dark sbi au!! Kinda. Its actually just more of a horror au if anything (but also yeah a couple of the aus there have got dark elements i cant remember which tho my memory of them only activates when i focus on one)

anyhow that wip is about a shapeshifter au in which wilbur and Phil are supposed to have their weekly dinner night together, but then Wil gets a call with Phil panicking and screaming on the other end, telling him to rush over to his apartment. Wilbur goes over thinking something horrible happened, but when he gets there Phil has no idea what Wil is talking about with the phone call and he seems entirely fine.

They kinda go on with their dinner night but Phil keeps really odd, not quite getting details in the conversation right, seeming lost in his own house, ect. Wilbur ends up hearing a weird noise and sneaks off to investigate to find actual Phil locked in a closet.

To where he then realizes he was not talking with the real Phil and something is seriously fucked up here. They both sneak around the apartment trying to avoid the not Phil thing, who realizes actual Phil got out and starts to try to lure them out by mimicking their voices (it keeps calling for Phil in wilburs voice, “Phil? Phil, whered you go?” And then it switches to Phils voice screaming for help, which makes Wilbur just keep looking at real Phil desperately trying to reassure himself the noise isnt real)

They end up escaping the apartment and calling Techno, their mutual buddy, for help, but then the shapeshifter starts following them outside and they’re running across the empty streets in the middle of the night to try and lose it. Techno eventually finds them and nearly runs them over, and then proceeds to try purposely running the shapeshifter over upon seeing it come around the corner, looking like Phil but with everything about him seeming just Wrong. (Eyes glinting too hard, his walk stumbling too much, the voice from his mouth still being Wilburs-) so sbi is in the car now. Techno hits the thing with his car. They check to see if they killed it, and they watch as the shapeshifter tries to then turn into a kid, but still clinging onto Phils features, so then it just looks like a kid version of Phil (tommy!! Yays)

Its then crying about getting hit with a car and mimicking all their voices interchangeably to ask for help, and Techno is about to get back in the car to run it over a second time!! Only for Phil to stop him bc he wants to know what the heck the shapeshifter is even trying to do. Here is where i lose the plot a bit but i think from there on it would be cool for the three of them to argue amongst themselves over if they should be pitying a monster thing, not noticing Tommy getting closer until he’s right next to them and he’s taken Technos form and voice to try and join their conversation. This somehow results in them realizing he’s really not that harmful. Family dynamics

The thing is “Tommy” is meant to be a very naive type of shapeshifter who doesnt really have a grasp on humans, and he took Phils place first bc he heard about the dinner and he wanted to meet Wil. And then he sees Techno and how Phil and Wilbur talk with him and thats why he turns into a Techno. He also turns young when hes hurt bc he recognizes that humans treat their young gently. Its a neat concept! Alas its also a wip. I have no idea where the family dynamics will form but by god theyre gonna be somewhere

Also its called yoink the identity bc obviously tommy shapeshifter took phils place for a second there haha

[tulipscomeinallsortsofcolors]

im such a big fan of the linda public school vs homeschool debate i think its a really interesting conflict, because obviously roman was homeschooled and it wasnt really beneficial towards him (which virgil could probably sympathise with regarding all of his mortal friends being terrified of him briefly), BUT also trying to tell logan or even patton that public school is the best option for their fae child is so obviously gonna be a problem, and then even when roman saw how logan was treated he didnt see how young it started and how much it was ingrained in him that he was wrong, and virgil didnt really see any of the worst of it so trying to commicate why its such a concerning idea is going to require bringing up some unpleasant things. but ALSO linda is not logan ((is it fair projecting his experiences onto linda or by trying to protect her are they gonna cause a complex anyway where she internalises being fae is wrong?)) or roman or patton or virgil and either choice could be uniquely beneficial or damaging just based on how she responds to her environment, which is impossible to actually determine without some trial and error, and id bet good money they dont want to risk the "error" part at all

just a very cool and interesting debate i feel, i enjoy how everyone has so many reasons to be so emotionally invested

thank you so much, you get exactly the vibe i was going for. the dichotomy of roman and virgil who were so so lonely as children due to isolation, versus logan and patton who were so hurt because of bullying, putting them in two very different camps as to what's best for their kid, makes it SUCH a hard conversation to have. they pretty much start having it the moment she's born and it continues for the next two years, and its the closest to genuinely angry they ever really get with each other. because theyre all really stubborn, but they rarely disagree on something this important so vehemently.

compounded by the fact that they dont yet know if she's going to age more like a fae or a human, and that being a visibly-6yo in middle school would theoretically make that issue exponentially worse

tentatively, im thinking that she will be homeschooled until she goes to college, and also that thats kind of one of the reasons why she doesnt do as well as she hoped. she had structure (in a house full of autistic people, you bet she had structure) but also a lot of freedom over dictating that structure, and the freedom to deviate from it when she needed to (in house full of ADHD people, you bet she was allowed to go run around in the yard whenever she needed a break).

so in college the combination of 1. less structure in the sense that she has less support network and people to hold her accountable and 2. less freedom in the sense that you can leave whenever you want in college, but the class doesnt stop and wait for you to come back, means she doesnt have the skills to make it really work for herself, especially compounded with the fact that she's emotionally much less mature than her peers

and that fucking sucks, for her and for LAMP. because you can debate for years, and you can do your best, and you can do everything right, and your kid might still wind up with baggage because of something you did. something you did and believed in your heart of hearts was the best thing for them.

the world is big and full of sharp things and you cant actually wrap your kid in bubble wrap. the bubble wrap is also full of sharp things, in this metaphor that immediately ran away from me.

all you can do is just keep stocked in bandaids, and hold their hand while you put it on.

[arroganceisherfavoritecolor]

Enjoy the silence

Carl and reader have a moment while on the job...

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*Reader uses fem pronouns, mentions of past bullying, reader is insecure✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

It had been a long day for you and your friends in Alexandria. You had been on a run since early in the morning, having to leave at sunrise due to the long drive out to a city to look for some supplies. You had all gotten back by the time the sun was almost completely out of sight, thankfully. You were all hoping to get home, shower and knock out as soon as possible. But of course, you and your best friend, Carl, were the two people Deanna had ordered to keep watch.

Now usually, you despised having to be on watch duty. You found it boring and agonizingly long, and what made it worse was the fact that there was no chance of sleeping till the next day. But when you did it with Carl, it was a whole different story. Carl always found a way to make the night more interesting, whether it be his funny dad-jokes or the gossip he would hear around Alexandria. In other words, Carl made everything so, so much better. Although it had only been about a year since you first met him, he felt like home. He surrounded you with a warm feeling, you knew that no matter what, you could go to him and you'd feel okay. As you were deep into your thoughts, you heard footsteps coming from the ladder. You looked to the right and saw Carl making his way up. Your heart lit up and you felt that feeling of warmth wash over you. You smiled at Carl involuntarily, just looking at him made you feel happy. "Hey [Name]." His voice sounded like music to your ears, better than any tune or beat you've heard in your life. "Hi Carl." He stood next to you. You and Carl were almost touching shoulders, since the towers small box-like frame didn't provide the most space. You began to converse with him, talking about how the day went. Every few minutes, either you or Carl would see a walker and shoot it down and then go back to your conversation.

It had been 3 hours of you and him talking. The time flew by like seconds. This was another thing you liked about Carl, it was the way you could talk to him for hours and never get bored. At some point, you had brought up how at one of the recent parties, some older women in Alexandria began to make snarky comments towards you. They said things about how your hair looked ragged and your skin was dull. You'd think that when in the middle of a zombie outbreak, they'd have much better things to worry about. "The old-heads gave me shit about my skin and hair again" you said with a slight chuckle, you didn't want Carl to think you were a sensitive crybaby. "tch, dont even pay attention to them [Name], they're just jealous because theyre all old and wrinkly." You laughed at Carls remark. "Its okay, I dont really mind. I remember in school, before the outbreak, kids would pick on me for the same shit." Carls once relaxed aura turned curious. "What would they say exactly?" He asked politely, not wanting to intrude.

"Well, it was usually about my face or my weight. It used to make me really upset, to the point where i'd beg my mom to not take me to school. But after a little while, I learned not to care . Besides, growing up with mostly skinny and pretty friends kind of toughens you up." You tried smiling at Carl and looking him in the eyes to show you werent sad. "What do you mean?" He asked. "A lot of my friends would have all the boys chasing after them, even in Kindergarten. Think of it like how Enid gets treated by every other teen here. Since I wasnt ever really the cute type, i'd just watch from the side." You smiled again, but this time avoided eye contact. "Wait, so youre saying that NO boys had crushes on YOU?" He emphasized on the "you" part. "I mean... I guess?" You shrugged while grinning. Carls face was twisted in a confused expression. "Why are you looking at me like that Grimes?" You laughed out. "I just find it hard to believe that no one ever 'like-liked' you." You tilted your head to the side, brows furrowed in confusion as to what he was gonna say. "Youre just so... perfect. Youre smart, funny, beautiful... and you can beat some zombie ass." You giggled, feeling a blush creep up on your face. "You think i'm beautiful, Carl?" You asked him shyly, afraid of sounding conceited or selfish. "Of course I do [Name]." He said.

He turned his head all the way in your direction, wanting a perfect view of you. He looked so handsome in this moment. His sheriffs hat was on top of his soft brown hair. His flannel was unbuttoned half way, his white t-shirt peeking through. The sleeves of the flannel were rolled up to his forearm. His hands were behind his back, slender and tall frame leaning against the wooden post of the watch tower. His face was illuminated by the soft glowing oil lamp that sat on the chair in front of you two. His diamond-like eye and ghostly pale skin looked so pretty in the mixture of the warm light of the lamp and the cold light of the moon. You felt your heart rate spike, your pupils dilated. He looked so kissable, all you wanted to do was grab him by the shoulders and kiss his lips til you were both breathless. Carl could say the same for you, as your (eye color) eyes and (skin color) skin looked gorgeous in the light of the lamp and moon. Your slightly tattered tank top hugged your curves and your low-waisted ripped black jeans did as well, exposing a small portion of your mid drift. Carl noticed your cheeks were rosy and your eyes were glossy. Your lips were slightly parted due to the impact of Carl calling you beautiful.

He fixed his posture, standing all the way up and walked towards you. It only took about 1 or 2 steps for him to be face to face with you. He tilted his head downwards, making eye contact. (eye color) eyes gazing into his, you felt the warm feelings 10x. He touched your (hair color) hair, twirling it in his fingers. His hands went from your hair to your cheek, cupping it. He stroked his thumb against your soft skin, feeling the heat. 'So much for dull skin and hair' Carl thought to himself, cursing those old hags for making his love feel bad. "Carl.." You finally spoke out, your voice nothing but a low whisper. From this angle, Carls face was no longer in view of the lamp. The only lighting you got was from the moon, directly shining down on you and him. You took each other's features in, not once breaking contact from eachother. Carl closed his eye, slowly began to lean in, and kissed you. His pink lips were soft, the feeling of the kiss was like satin bed sheets and velvety pillows. He put his other hand on your other cheek, guiding you to be impossibly closer to him. You felt fireworks go off in your brain and stomach. The moment you had waited so long for had finally happened. You deepened the kiss, wrapping your arms around his neck. You could feel Carls tongue slip inside of your mouth, the feeling so foreign and yet so good. You slowly broke away from the kiss face hotter than ever. You and Carl stood there, trying to process what had just happened. After a few 30 seconds, you both began laughing from the overwhelming feeling of happiness. For the rest of the night, you held each other, enjoying the silence.

"All I ever wanted

All I ever needed

Is here in my arms" - Enjoy the Silence, Depeche Mode

A/N: I have wanted to write for Carl for the longesttt time !! I hope u guys liked it pls request more stufffff ;3

[cowchickenbeefpork]

Ummm thoughts about Ed’s NPD and BPD? Interested to hear especially after reading your fic

AAAAA THANK YOU FOR READING IT!!!!! with my worldview of Ed having both I feel like his NPD is more prominent and noticeable, it's his first go-to when it comes to his defenses even if he is hiding it (aka season one, I would say he is more overt in his narcissistic vulnerability while covert in his grandiosity in that season, he flip flops around a lot in his presentation on his narcissism in the series buttttt from what I can remember he goes back and forth from hiding his grandiosity but not hiding his vulnerability to hiding his vulnerability but not his grandiosity.) his bpd came first to me, and since most people dont like those traits and he often gets maniuplated for them, he tries to repress it and focus on his narcissism. his npd also keeps him from splitting on himself more often too, both borderlines and narcissists often times see everything as either good or bad, you either are all good or your all bad, which is why treatment is often very hard for both of these groups because no one is all good or all bad. this is why narcissists try to avoid anything that shows a flaw in how they view themselves, they cannot have done a bad thing, since doing a bad thing means they are a bad person, their defenses are more stable and hard to overcome than a borderlines because of this.

i think a easy way to tell is how people with npd and people with bpd split. since npd is more so focused on the self and maintaining the ego, theres three catergories of viewing relationships instead of just two. the first one is someone to perform to, someone to get easy praise from and being able to keep your self essteem in check so you can still feel good about yourselves ( i dont think i need to state here that narcissistss dont actually love themselves, only the image they are trying to contain, this kind of splitting can also be seeing the person theyre performing for as a equal but its not really close, its more superficial ). the two other types are more devaluing, the second kind of narcisstic splitting is seeing someone as someone to inghore, someone who just does not get it and is too stupid too ever get it, the thrid one is the most simliar to borderline splitting since it sees the other as a predator, someone trying to sabotage and hurt them and trying to vitcimize them.

bpd splitting is more so focused on the other, seeing them as someone who is just perfect and you want to know everything about them and always make them happy and how they're just perfect, to them being someone being an abuser manipulator who never cared or loved them in the first place. both of these kinds of splitting are similar in structure but still different, narcissism still mostly focuses on the self while borderline focuses more on the other, narcissism as a defense mechanism is more so focused on the superficial while borderline is more focused on the personal.

when you apply this logic to how ed splits on people, then you kinda start to see this way of performing to keep his ego in check just does not apply to how he treated oswald! his attempts to please him and to help him were exteremly self sacfricial and often put his life on the line! he didnt need to do all of this for oswald to get oswald's praise and admiration, what he does for oswald is more simliar to a borderline wanting to do anything for their favorite person and showcase how much they care for them than a narcissist thinking they met an equal which brings their self essteem up! in the end of how the riddler got his name ed said he based his whole self worth on oswald, and instead of letting himself grieve normally, he tells himself he doesnt need anyone anymore and that hes fine now. the narcissism took over, it didnt even let him fully grieve. he didnt see oswald as just someone to bring his ego up like he did with kristen he didnt reduce oswald's existence to just that, oswald was the only person who ever loved or cared for him and was this amazing figure who ended up being someone who never actually loved him and was only using him in ed's eyes.

i would argue his relationship with lee was more so borderline too, she was the only person he was close to and was the only person who could take his shit during that whose collapse of his ego. he genuinely cared for her and was willing to kill himself out of paranoia he would hurt her! that is not narcissism, he did have narcissistic intentions with their relationship at the start of season four, but it changes into the codependency similarly to what he had with Oswald, only this time being a bit more one sided

That's why ed sticks to his narcissistic defenses more, because, to Ed, this is the only way you can love someone! you can only ever fully love someone if you would basically cut off your whole arm for them just to give them a gift, there are no boundaries! if he only acts selfish in his relationships then he will end up killing them like he did with Kristen too, so as a cope he pretends he doesn't want or desire close relationships during the later seasons, trying to paint himself as a cold logician just so he can have some admiration and praise and love but only from a distance since he knows if he gives too much, something like what happened with Oswald might happen again, and if he takes too much, something like what happened with Kristen might happen again. an Oswald will lead him into being weak and dumb, and a Kristen will lead him into being a monster who only exists to leech off and hurt others. if he just doesn't date then he can never experience either event again and can brush them off like they say nothing about him.

IDK if this whole thread makes any lick of sense, I don't think he was being borderline with Kristen but I do think he realized she was a real person with her own beliefs and opinions only after he killed her, which caused him to panic and repress any guilt or grief he had for the incident and convince himself it was no one's fault and was just destined to happen. Edward is terrible at accepting he did something awful or has emotions and needs, so he represses whatever he feels that conflicts with the image he has of himself and thinks that will be his permanent solution when it always fails him after a few months. he basically ignores and represses his borderline until he finds someone who seems like they are amazing to him which is just. kinda explodes all over the place I AM SO SORRY THAT HIS WHOLE EXPLANATION SUCKS ASS I HOPE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR ASK QUESTIONS IF I WAS UNCLEAR!!!!

[luonae]

scummy milo variant... aka a milo tailored for my questionable tastes. more about him under the cut

1) i think he would definitely be a variant of manipulation milo since this one relies on manipulation too. except instead of coming off as friendly and inserting himself in social circles this one would embrace this kinda emo or whatever look and a bad reputation because it makes him more attractive in a bad boy way

2) he plays with peoples feelings when they fall for him, using them to get money and information/blackmail on other people. he weaponizes his charms to get to people and once he got what he wanted and theyre no longer useful he throws them away and moves onto the next person

3) hes only doing this for eris of course. he has a tattoo of eris' initials in a heart on his neck (which would be really painful to get) to show his devotion. he may lie to his "lovers" about breaking up with eris to placate them but in the end theyre less than filth in his eyes; just a means to an end and nothing else. he absolutely despises when hes asked shit like "me or eris?" because he cant lie about that even if he must, so he often just says dont bring them up again and shuts the person down

4) unlike m milo, this one would be more willing to resort to violence if needed. hes not as violent as violence milo, but hes not particularly averse to it either. pick a fight with him over him stealing your girl or whatever and he will be knocking you out cold within 30 seconds and moving on with his day to smoke. he does frequently work out; maintaining his physique is important for his attractiveness after all (and the fights that come with it)

5) high alcohol tolerance. he gets people drunk to get information out of them. his size (and the fact he drinks a lot) mean he can hold his liquor well. after all, he himself cant get loose lipped. thats reserved for his victims. he needs to be sober to catch all the dirt they spill when drunk. besides he cant get himself into a vulnerable position like that.

6) probably almost got expelled multiple times, but he has his ways of keeping everything under control (blackmail)

7) cross him and youll face one of two fates: seduction or blackmail. i lied theres a third: getting your ass beat and thrown in the woods where no one will find you

8) lifeless eyes. his eyes only light up when he looks at or talks about eris. drops off everything he earned at eris' feet like a puppy and nuzzles up to them after a long day of being a bad boy. he will only get soft around them. he refuses to take orders from anyone else

9) really assertive. probably the most assertive of all milos, or up there with violence. he has manipulations confidence and violences ruthlessness, so he really has little to no fear outside of losing eris. nothing else makes him feel threatened nor embarrassed.

10) grew to overcome his fear of insects and even started liking spiders. he likens himself to one, catching his prey no matter how much they struggle, meticulously weaving inescapable webs.

11) probably acts averse to cute things, but he does have a soft spot for them secretly, especially bunnies. he looks back at his past self, pre, and feels a hint of fondness and pity. he doesnt dislike who he used to be even though hes nothing like that anymore. if pre milo was his own individual and existed alongside him, he would treat him like a younger brother and stand up for him.

12) really protective. has this death glare that communicates he will really throw your mutilated body in the ocean if you go anywhere near eris. probably really possessive of eris and, ironically enough, hates being touched or looked at by people other than eris, but will still tolerate it for his end goals.

13) while he may have no sympathy or reservations about what he does to his victims, he does feel a bit guilty when it comes to people who remind him of his past self. it wont stop him; nothing would ever stop him when eris is the one asking this of him, but were it up to him he probably would have some mercy on these types of people. he doesnt, though.