#things that are not true

[iamnotarobin]

and then i didn’t really answer because i spent the next hour and a half pretending to be narrating a nature documentary about genshin impact characters

this is the fruit of my labors

kokomi, a descendant of the ancient species ‘barbara,’ is set apart from her predecessor by a variety of specialized abilities that allow her to more effectively fill the exact same niche

kokomi has many evolutionary advantages over the barbara, such as a symbiotic relationship with a specific species of jellyfish known as the ‘bake-kurage’ and the ability to secrete a protective, jelly-like coating. even so, kokomis remain on the brink of extinction, due to their low reproductive rate in comparison to the barbara

the barbara is a primitive species, first appearing in the fossil record over 400 million years ago. the barbara most commonly fills the role of ‘healer’ in which she will provide a valuable source of nutrients to other, stronger characters in exchange for protection.

fascinatingly, the barbara has also split into two more groups, that, while not considered by scientists to be separate species, fill their own, entirely unique roles within a party of characters. the older of the two is known as the ‘main-dps barbara’ and sacrifices her ability to entice other characters to protect her in order to protect herself. this barbara uses the water she filters to create nutrients and expels it through her ‘catalyst,’ which is, in truth, a modified blowhole, violently enough to tear through flesh. the newer group, the ‘sub-dps barbara’ or, as it is more commonly known, the ‘clam barbara’, was evolved only recently, with the first population explosion of the ‘kokomi,’ a relative of the barbara. the ‘clam barbara’ is in fact a misnomer, as the ‘clam barbara’ is not in fact a clam. rather, the barbara exploited the very same niche opened by the kokomi for her own benefit, and was able to do so due to their incredibly similar morphology. the clam barbara, like the kokomi, consumes an explosive clam that evolved deep in the inazuman sea, allowing the clam barbara to preform her duty of creating nutrients while occasionally using her highly developed forelimbs to create pressurized bubbles of shrapnel using the pieces of the clam she has not been able to digest.

the ‘thoma’ has often been described as a variant of the ‘tartaglia’ due to their incredibly similar appearance, but this is a misconception. in reality, the ‘thoma’ and ‘tartaglia’ are from completely different branches of the genshin impact evolutionary tree, and can be described as an excellent example of convergent evolution, which is the phenomena of two separate species evolving to share a common trait that did not exist in their last common ancestor, often because the trait has proved evolutionarily successful.

the ‘tartaglia’ can be described as a ‘false sword user’ given that he operates as if he had the short, sharp appendages colloquially called ‘swords’ when he in fact does not, and only creates the same effect using a strange technique scientists have yet to fully understand. the tartaglia instead possesses a largely vestigial ‘bow’ or flexible bone lined with sturdy tendons used to propel projectiles. many tartaglias have been observed attempting to use this bow for its intended purpose, but none of them seem particularly good at it. whether their skills with a bow have deteriorated with the creation of the false swords, or if it is this lack of skill that pressured them to create an alternative method, it is still unknown.

the ‘beidou’ is an ambush predator originating from the seas of liyue. this unique organism will cloak herself in a lining of electricity and sit in wait for hours, often going days or weeks without food, waiting for her prey to approach. the beidou is unlike many other ambush predators in that she exclusively preys on her own predators, using a powerful swipe of her heavy claymore bone to simultaneously electrocute and slash at the approaching predator.

the anemo family is perhaps one of the most overlooked due to its ’primitive’ and ‘neutral’ nature, but it also contains some of the best examples of organisms who have stretched their biology to its absolute limit. one example is an ancient species known as the ‘sucrose.’ the sucrose usually fulfills a supportive, mutualistic role, providing the chemical known as ‘elemental mastery’ in large quantities to her hosts in exchange for nutrients and protection. the sucrose also defined another niche within the ecosystem, that of the ‘anemo driver’ where, in addition to providing elemental mastery to the other members of her party, the sucrose will also actively use her own supply of elemental mastery to create powerful reactions with other elements when exposed to air. another one of the oldest anemo characters, thought extinct until recent sightings, is the ‘venti.’ the venti is a relative of the sucrose, and because of this the sucrose’s catalyst shaped lungs can be seen mirrored in the venti’s ‘bow,’ an external lung covered in a thin layer of bone. the venti uses these incredibly powerful lungs to exhale strong air currents on which he can use to fly, and uses them to inhale and create a vacuum-like vortex that can trap predators. the venti commonly also possesses a filter within his external lung that infuses the air with elemental mastery, increasing both his own potential for danger as well as other members of his party.

often considered to fill the same niche as the venti, the ‘kazuha’ is descended from a branch of ‘jeans’ that migrated to inazuma. the jean and the kazuha are set apart from the sucrose and the venti by their use of a sword as their main offensive strategy, which is made entirely of tough bones and does not contain a lung. instead, the jean and kazuha possess special pores which they can use to expel air, though the pores are less effective and thus they are able to do this less frequently than the sucrose and venti. the kazuha, while similar to the venti in his ability to use blasts of air to pull objects in like a vacuum and propel himself into the air, possesses a unique adaptation that allows him to temporarily absorb elements from his environment and use them to attack. the kazuha also possesses the ability to create a large swirl of wind around himself using a single, incredibly powerful current expelled from the forelimb from which his sword protrudes.

[loathsome-sickness]

"people show their true colours in life threatening situations" no, they show you what they act like when they're mortally terrified, an emotion notorious for literally turning your entire brain off to the point where people who go into those situations as a profession need to be literally trained on how to not have that happen

[epicsauce]

learning that self deprecation isnt cool and just makes the people around you uncomfortable unironically improved my mental health a lot. like if you just stop saying negative shit about yourself you will genuinely like yourself more and other people wont be repulsed by your attitude and you will have more friends. it's true.

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[bisexualpercyjacksons]

pjo tv show episode 5 alignment:

[stuckinapril]

lived my whole life in guilt bc i thought i was responsible for people's feelings. newly realizing that other people are responsible for their feelings and reactions, even if they make it seem like i'm the problem. a lot of the time it really has to do w them and their own emotional regulation. i can't keep thinking i'm not allowed to have space bc of other people's insecurities. like i literally refuse to dim myself. other people are responsible for their feelings just as i'm responsible for mine.

[time-to-write-and-suffer]

I love how on Tumblr, "media literacy" has become "Um, just because someone writes about this doesn't mean they're endorsing this. I hate all these media puritans ruining everything."

I'm sad to inform you that knowing when and whether an author is endorsing something, implying something, saying something, is also part of media literacy. Knowing when they are doing this and when they're not is part of media literacy. Assuming that no author has ever endorsed a bad thing is how you fall for proper gander. It's not media literacy to always assume that nobody ever has agreed with the morally reprehensible ideas in their work.

Sometimes, authors are endorsing something, and you need to be aware when that happens, and you also need to be aware when you're doing it as an author. All media isn't horny dubcon fanfic where you and the author know it's problematic IRL but you get off to it in the privacy of your brain. Sometimes very smart people can convince you of something that'll hurt others in the real world. Sometimes very dumb people will romanticize something without realizing they're doing it and you'll be caught up in it without realizing that you are.

Being aware of this is also media literacy. Being aware of the narrative tools used to affect your thinking is media literacy. Deciding on your own whether you agree with an author or not is media literacy. Enjoying characters doing bad things and allowing authors to create flawed or cruel characters for the sake of a story is perfectly fine, but it is not the same as being media literate. Being smug about how you never think an author has bad intentions tells me you're edgy, not that you're media literate. You can't use one rule to apply to all media. That's not how media literacy works. Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Aheem heem. Anyway.

[lgbtlunaverse]

One thing i've run up against when dealing with fandom and characters making less than ideal choices is that people seem to treat a character's decision being sympathetic, the decision being understandable, the decision being reasonable, and it being objectively the best solution for the situation, as synonymous. When those are 4 very different things.

[cor-lapis]

Genuinely how did he go to jail for water crimes in the WRONG COUNTRY

[cthulhum]

does anyone realize how crazy it is to have the actor of a mostly headcanoned queer ship say the fans were never crazy and they were right all along after 10+ years of everyone just absolutely going nuts over the said queerbaited ship

[k-dhd]

[frownyalfred]

“oh I’m 100% human” says the Batkid who’s been inoculated against 76 different kinds of Scarecrow’s fear toxin, has built up immunity to almost anything Poison Ivy has created, routinely goes diving into the Gotham harbor on patrol, has been blessed/cursed by a variety of deities (depending on the kid), frequently picks up random/temporary powers from various missions, and operates at beyond peak human capabilities in combat, athleticism, and intelligence.

[takofuus]

A late valentines <3

Sunrise is to my narilamb as sunset is to my leshycat

I swear I'll get to their redesigns, in 600 or so years

[ot3]

i do fundamentally agree with the idea that stuff like 'man' and 'women' dont have to be mutually exclusive, people can identify as whatever they want, and gender is there to be played around with as much as anyone likes. but i do feel like we're seeing a trend amongst some subsets of people where they can't hold those beliefs and Also accept the fact that as it stands 'woman' is still a very real and important political class of people. like it really would be great if we were in a place culturally where gender categorizations werent very politically relevant. but they clearly are. and i feel like a lot of people in an attempt to find an understanding of gender that makes them more comfortable have subconsciously kind of abandoned a framework that calls for a structured women's lib movement.

and it's like, on one side you have large swathes of the population who still aren't fully sold on the whole 'women are people' thing. and then on the other side you have a group who correctly understand that the whole gender thing is pretty bullshit. but then, instead of using feminism as a platform to try and build towards a world that reflects those ideals politically they have just kind of retreated fully into idpol and abandoned the scraps of the feminist framework to the radfems to re-appropriate into. fucking. nouveau phrenology.

it just sucks man it feels like we're sort of at an all time low in regards to public interest in meaningful feminism that i've witnessed in my lifetime.

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

[radicalposture]

‘how did disney let them make andor omg!’ ‘lol netflix let them make blockbuster that’s so funny’