#thinking so so hard about these games help me

[mountttmase]

What I Need

Note - the longest fic I’ve ever written 😭 I’ve added a little ‘break’ halfway through so if you did want to stop and come back to read the rest later it’s easier to see where you’ve left off but if you want to read it all in one go feel free 🩷 thank you @carlottawllms for the initial request and I’m sorry it took so long to get to 😭 and thank you to all my besties for your help with this, I couldn’t do it without you 🩷 I know it’s long but feedback would be appreciated immensely and I promise to never write a fic this long again 😌

Pairing - Mason Mount × Reader

Word count - 20.5k

Warnings - angst and fluff

Just once you thought you might be treated to a well deserved lie in this Saturday but unfortunately the universe had other plans for you, just like always.

Your phone had been vibrating for a few minutes on the nightstand and you knew it was someone trying to call you before a barrage of texts were sent your way. Letting them fly in before you picked your phone up to see who it was and what they wanted even though you knew exactly who it was and why they were pestering you at this ungodly hour.

You already make it feel like it’s not worth living you thought, but before you could think about anything else his photo flashed up on your screen as he tried to call you again and you begrudgingly hit accept before you were permanently etched into his bad books.

‘Hello?’

‘About bloody time y/n, what the hell have you been doing?’ He scolded you. His voice hushed but you could tell he wanted to shout at you for not picking up and you rolled your eyes at his stupid attitude that you didn’t need this time of the morning.

‘Sleeping, Mason. You know what probably most of the uk population is doing right now since it’s stupid o’clock on a bloody Saturday’

‘Well I don’t give a shit, I need you. How fast do you think you can get here?’

‘I don’t know, Mase-‘ you started, not ready to leave the comfort of your bed just yet but he was cutting you off as soon as he realised what you were about to say.

‘No, y/n don’t do this. Did you not see my message? Code red yeah, that means I need you here now’

‘I’m sure it’s not that bad, you big girls blouse’

‘She’s offering to make me breakfast. Pancakes if you please’ he told you, his voice an octave higher as if he couldn’t believe what he was saying to you and you had to hold in a giggle at how ridiculous he sounded.

‘You love pancakes’

‘No I love your pancakes, there's a difference. I don’t know what she puts in hers she could drug me for all I know. Or make the whole wheat ones like a maniac’

‘I mean it’s hard to fuck up pancakes im sure they’re-‘

‘Can we forget about the bloody pancakes, how long till you’re here?’ He demanded, but you were already up and pulling a hoodie on before stuffing yourself into your shoes.

‘I’ll be five minutes’ you sighed, grabbing your keys and walking out the door as Mason repeatedly told you to hurry up until you had to hang up as you began to drive.

How it became the routine of you bailing him out of these situations was a long story.

Mason had been your best friend since you were little. Your dad being one of his first football coaches and even though you went to separate primary schools you still saw him most weekends when you helped out and sometimes joined in with the games. Mason teaching you how to kick the ball properly and you knew when you scored your first goal he let you win.

You eventually stopped going to practice, not seeing Mason at all for a year or so until you both wound up going to the same secondary school and it’s like you picked up where you left off.

You watched each other grow from awkward little teenagers to full grown adults and as much as you tried to keep your friendship the same you knew it would never be normal.

You went the usual route; college, uni, big office job in a fancy company while Mason lived his dreams and changed right before your eyes. Subtle changes that came over time meaning you never really caught onto them but the shy polite boy you once knew was gone.

He was cocky and sure of himself. Cheeky in a way that all the girls loved and he used it to his advantage to get exactly what he wanted. You weren’t blind, you know he was handsome but the way he threw his money and looks about just to get into some poor girls knickers made you sick sometimes but you stuck by him through it all. Feeling like you were the only person who had his best interest at heart most of the time.

Mason didn’t have friends, he had yes men. People to tell him he looked good and that it didn’t matter what he did or what he said to people because they’d clear it up for him afterwards. Leaving his picture perfect image intact so the world still thought he was a good boy even though he was anything but.

You didn’t know when, but you too had fallen into that category. Running around after him like he was a toddler that had just learned to walk, trying to protect him from crashing into things he shouldn’t be and picking up all of his mess after him for little to no thanks. You didn’t even know why you did it at this point. A sense of loyalty maybe? Or wanting to keep him away from certain people that you knew only used him. You knew he was a grown man at the end of the day and he was old enough to look after himself but still you carried on.

Even the routine of helping him kick girls out of his house was a mystery to you. The first time was a mistake when you’d turned up heartbroken on his doorstep after a failed exam and the girl he’d managed to score that night made a swift exit much to his satisfaction. Telling you he’d been trying to get rid of her for an hour but she wouldn’t budge and you were the perfect solution.

When he called you up and asked if you could do something similar for him the next week you refused at first. Thinking it was weird and you were worried about the girls feelings but he wore you down like he always did until the next thing you knew you were fake crying on his door mat as he ushered a pretty blonde girl out the door with the fake promise of calling her back later that day.

You must have helped him throw at least 30 girls out now. A catalogue of excuses at your disposal and even though you knew it was weird, it had merged itself in as just another part of your friendship and soon enough you were pulling onto his drive and housing yourself out of your car.

You rang the doorbell to make it look more realistic, the door opening a few moments later to Mason who looked more than relieved to see you and you quickly made your way inside to start the act.

‘What do you want? Dead relative, dog or something worse?’ You asked him, pinching your cheeks so they looked pinker before squirming yourself in the eyes with your water bottle. You’d tried and tested the lot but the sports cap you found was the best at making it look like actual tears.

‘Dogs fine, she’s been yapping on about hers all morning and showing me pictures so-‘

‘You’re so cruel, Mason’ you remarked, hoping to make him feel a little bit bad about what he was doing but you knew it was all in vain. He never did.

‘Just start crying before I make you, yeah?’ He laughed so you took the opportunity to get him back and wailed out the loudest fake cry you could muster right in his ear. The sound making him jump before he bounded you into his arms so you could cry into his neck and before you knew it, the sound of a very concerned but sweet sounding woman could be heard in the hallway.

‘Mason? Is everything okay?’

‘No really no’ he told her, the fake worry in his voice making you roll your eyes but you carried on sniffling to help him out. ‘This is my best friend and she’s had some awful news this morning’ he told her, walking you towards the living room so he could sit you on the sofa. ‘I’m really sorry to do this, her dogs just died and she needs me’

‘Oh my god’

‘Yeah she’s really not in a good way’ he confirmed, pulling you in closer and your cries went up in volume and you felt him pinch your side gently as if to tell you to tone it down.

‘Well can I help at all?’ She offered and you actually felt a little sorry for her. She seemed too sweet and you wondered how Mason had got his grubby little claws into her but you’d seen him on nights out and knew how he trapped women under his spell. You were just thankful that you were immune to his powers as if someone treated you like this you’d swing for them.

‘I think it’s best I just stay with her for now, but I’ll text you yeah? I’ve got your number saved?’

‘Oh, yeah okay then’ she uttered before the pair of them fled upstairs to get her things and within a few minutes he was with her at the door. Hearing the talk in hushed tones before he shut the door behind her but you let your cries continue.

‘Alright you can stop that now, sound makes my brain ache’ he groaned as she flopped down onto the sofa next to you and you laughed as you unhid your face from the cushion.

‘You’re welcome, by the way’ you told him. Bumping your shoulder into his as you sat up but he just rolled his eyes. You knew he was thankful even if he didn’t say it exactly but it would be nice to hear it sometime.

‘You fancy some breakfast? I’m in the mood for pancakes’ he winked but you just rolled your eyes at him. Pancakes sounded good to you too but you knew you’d be stuck making them.

‘Where’s Ace? He’s the only reason I’m here’ you asked, deflecting his question as you knew what he was asking and by the look he was giving you he wasn’t too happy about it.

‘Charming’ he scoffed before whistling and the sound of bounding paws made you smile until Ace was running in and jumping into your lap.

‘Hi baby’ you cooed, scratching over his head and trying to avoid the face licks he was sending your way but Mason was just looking at you like he was waiting for something.

‘So… what’s happening with the pancakes?’

‘Ace, your daddy is a very silly man, did you know that?’ You babbled but you could tell Mason was offended with what you’d said.

‘Don’t turn my son against me’

‘Do you want some pancakes, acey? Mumma will make you some’ you babbled too him, knowing there was no way for him to answer but from the look on his face you could that’s what he wanted.

‘Since when are you his mum’ Mason commented, trying to reach over to pet him but you wouldn’t let him. Jumping up so Ace could follow you and he just sighed and rolled his eyes.

‘Since I’m one of the only stable females in his life, okay? Don’t confuse him now’

You left Mason in the living room so you could make some pancakes. Your own belly rubbing as you hadn’t had a chance to think about breakfast this morning but thankfully he had everything in and as soon as he smelt them you heard him walking in to grab some.

‘Why are you making little ones?’ He questioned, grabbing some juice from the fridge and a couple of glasses.

‘They’re for ace’ you shrugged. Plating them up in his little doggy bowl and letting him tuck in before sorting yours and Masons out.

‘So he gets preferential treatment’

‘Do you ever have a day off?’ You muttered, wanting him to just give things a rest for five minutes but you could tell by his laugh he wouldn’t be letting up anytime soon.

‘Shut up, you love me’ he teased, poking you in the sides as he grabbed his plate and the feel of it angered you. He knew you hated being poked and prodded but he just carried on as he loved getting under your skin.

‘Not when you’re like this I don’t’ you sighed and even though you were half joking you had realised over the last few times you’d hung out that being around him was a chore sometimes. His usual playful comments had more venum behind them and now you couldn’t actually work out if he still liked you or not. Being around him never felt as good as it used to but whenever you got upset about it he’d tell you he was playing so you tried to think nothing more of it. Wondering if you were just hormonal or had forgotten how to take a joke.

Halfway through breakfast your thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell ringing. His eyes looking at you pleadingly as if he wanted you to go and get it but you remained firm and stared back at him.

‘Please, y/n. If it’s her she’ll have me talking for another half an hour. Just make her go away please’

‘Fine’ you huffed, getting up and storming to the door and you knew he was smiling from where he sat behind you. ‘I’m not doing the washing up though’

‘Hey, you make the mess you tidy it away’

‘Oh get lost’ you muttered under your breath, opening the door to what you expected to me the girl from earlier but thankfully it was just an Amazon delivery guy and you took the parcel with a smile before bidding him goodbye. ‘Mase? Its just an Amazon parcel you’re safe’

‘Ah amazing, can you open it for me? Should be just a charging cable’ he nodded as he stacked your plates and took them to the dishwasher, leaving you on your own to tear the box open but once you were in you wanted to vanish into thin air.

What you weren’t expecting was the red box that was sitting under the packing paper. The words thin feel jumping out at you first and you groaned loudly as he walked back over to you with a confused expression.

‘What’s wrong?’

‘You’re gross, I swear to god. Why did you make me open this?’ You huffed as you threw the box of condoms his way and he caught it with one hand before looking down with a smile.

‘Ah i forgot about these, got the ribbed ones this time to see if they make a difference’ he winked but you just made fake gagging noises as you walked out of the kitchen and back into the living room where he followed you in shortly after. Thankfully hiding the box out of sight from you.

‘What you doing next Friday? It’s Woody’s birthday so we’re going out and he asked me to ask if you wanna come’ he suddenly piped up with as you turned the tv on and the question took you by surprise.

‘Why didn’t he ask me himself?’

‘Cause he thinks you’re scary’ he winked ‘I’m kidding, he was pretty out of it last night when we made plans and he knew I’d probably see this morning’

‘So now it’s just standard that I kick the girls out your house for you? And all your friends know about it’

‘Pretty much. I’ve given you excellent reviews so if you get calls for similar from the others you can thank me later’ he teased but you weren’t in the mood to argue with him anymore. Huffing as you relaxed back into the sofa but he was soon poking your leg with his finger. ‘You coming next week or what? We’ve got a section booked so there won’t hundreds of people and you don’t know I’ll pay for you’

‘I’m not worried about paying, Mase’ you told him even though in the back of your mind you were a little bit. Mason like to go to the most expensive places and drink the most expensive things and you couldnt keep up with him half the time so the offer of him playing always settled your nerves when it was nights out like this. ‘Can I bring Olivia?’

‘Who’s Olivia?’

‘That new girl from work I was telling you about the other day? The one that’s just moved here and doesn't know anyone’ you told him before realising he probably hadn’t been listening the whole time you were talking about her before.

‘Is she hot?’

‘Mason-‘

‘Im kidding, I’m kidding, You can bring the pope for all I care’ he shrugged but you knew even if you asked him not to go near her he still would.

‘Mason I'm serious, I don’t want you anywhere near her okay? you’ll make things awkward at work and she wouldn’t touch you with with a barge pole anyway’

‘Wow y/n, I’m bruised’ he told you, hand on his heart to make it look like he was hurt but you could tell from the tone of his voice he didn’t care.

‘She’s got something going on with someone at work and if you ruin it I’ll kill you’ you threatened but he just held his hands up in mock surrender. ‘Who else is gonna be there?’

‘Oh the usual’ he told you. Reeling off some names you knew plus a few guys you don’t know and you knew what that meant. Mason wanted to try and set you up with someone he knew and even though you appreciate the sentiment you couldn’t think of anything worse.

At this point you thought he just felt sorry for you and was trying his hardest to find you anyone. You’d never had a boyfriend, never been in a real relationship or even been on that many dates. Any you did happen to go on always ended in the same way with that same awful message. I see you more as a friend than a girlfriend but I’d love to stay in touch and you didn’t know what was wrong with you. Even though Mason sometimes tried to help, you didn’t want to attract boys like him and his friends so any new boy he was suggesting you almost always never gave a proper chance.

‘I was thinking maybe I could put some feelers out? You know put a good word in with a few of the lads and see if any are interested-‘

‘I’d rather eat my own eyeballs than date one of your friends’ you told him, looking up to his horrified face and just like usual you kept poking the bear. ‘I only hang out with you cause you’re practically my brother, but the ones that choose to be your friends? I have serious questions for them’

‘And yet here you are, spending your morning with me. The main culprit’

‘Not for much longer, I’m meeting the guys at level up for lunch’ you smiled and he rolled his eyes in annoyance at you.

‘So you used me for my flour and eggs, that’s what I’m getting from this’

‘I wouldn’t even be here if you could just keep it in your pants for five seconds’ you reminded him, giving Ace a quick scratch between the ears before you stood up so you could get going but Mason being Mason had to get a few more digs in.

‘Oh whatever you big dork. Go play with your silly little puzzles then while I fend for myself’

Level Up was a gaming cafe in town and you met up with some friends from uni once a month to catch up and play some games but you mostly went there for the puzzles. There was something you loved about starting with a big pile of nothing and ending with something beautiful. It calmed you but almost made your brain feel alive at the same time so it was worth the teasing from Mason's end even if he did think it made you really uncool.

‘Whatever, Mase’ you mumbled, gathering your stuff up and making your way to the door before he could say anything else to upset you but you already felt like he’d ruined your day.

You managed to forget about him by the time you’d made it to Level Up. Catching up with your friends from uni, forgetting all that had happened that morning and getting lost in what you loved before making your way back home in the early afternoon. Feeling a lot better about yourself than you had that morning.

Your week at work flew by and soon enough it was Friday and you were at your flat with Olivia getting ready for your night out. Thankfully she’s said yes to coming and it had given you something to bond over that week. She too had moved to Manchester from down south after uni and was finding the transition a bit strange so you’d taken her under your wing in hopes you could make some more friends around here besides Mason. As much as you loved him you couldn’t stand to be around him for long periods of time anymore and wanted someone else to hang out with who didn’t make you feel so awful about yourself.

Once the pair of you were ready you set out for a cocktail bar first. Getting a few fancy pre drinks in whilst you chatted over some office gossip and just as you were leaving you posted a few stories to instagram. Seeing straight away that Mason had viewed them and almost as if by magic he was calling you.

‘Is that really what you’re wearing?’ He asked, the question making your heart drop as you looked down at your out outfit. Admittedly it was your usual but you wanted to be a bit comfortable and it was an outfit you’d always felt good in. His comments deflating you immediately and you felt like turning around and going home.

‘What’s wrong with it?’ You asked in a small voice. Wrapping your jacket around you a little bit further and Olivia looked at you with curious eyes but you just gave her a reassuring smile and carried on listening to Mason.

‘I mean it’s fine but like… well that’s it. It’s fine’ he admitted causing you to gulp back the frog in your throat so you didn’t burst into tears. ‘Look I’m trying my hardest here to help you get some but you need to start showing a bit of skin. Like if I’m interested in a girl I wanna see a bit more yeah? You need to advertise what you’ve got on offer or you’ll never get any business.’

‘I’m not looking for business and I certainly don’t want to look like someone you’re interested in’ you hit back, trying to make him hurt a little bit but you knew it was useless. Your comments were like water off a ducks back to him. ‘When I find the right guy he’ll love how I dress’

‘I’m a guy, y/n. We’re all the same’

‘Yeah well I’ve just about had enough of you tonight. I think I’d rather join a nunnery at this point’ you huffed, feeling Olivia tug on your arm as you made it to the door of the club. ‘Were just outside I’ll see you in a sec’

‘Your names on the door, they should just let you through’ he confirmed and once you’d said goodbye you were let in by the doorman who led you over to your section. meeting Mason's eyes almost immediately but his were soon on Olivia and you knew it was about to be a long night. ‘You gonna introduce me then?’

‘Hi to you too’ you quipped, watching him roll his eyes as he pulled you into his side for a quick hug but it was over before you knew it as his eyes settled on Olivia’s legs. ‘Mason this is Olivia, Olivia this is Mason’

‘Hi Olivia, y/n’s told me a lot about you’ he smiled and you knew that smile anywhere. He was about to flirt his little bum off even after you’d told him not too. ‘It's nice to finally meet you’

‘You too, thanks for letting me come’ she smiled sweetly, trying to be polite but you’d already warned her about Mason and his antics and you were hoping she could see right through him.

‘Oh you’re invited anytime’ he winked. ‘Can I get you a drink?’

‘Oh um… yeah sure, y/n-‘

‘’It’s alright I know her order off by heart’ he winked before nodding her over to the bar where she followed him after giving you a quick wave.

You took this time to go and say happy birthday to Woody, one of Mason's friends you actually liked as he’d been around almost as long as you had but just like you had fallen into the trap of letting him get away with things he probably shouldn’t.

‘What’s wrong?’ He asked, noticing your disgruntled expression fairly quickly but you just sighed before rubbing your head.

‘I explicitly told Mason not to flirt with her but he’s all over her, I can't stand that boy sometimes’ you huffed, motioning over to where he was standing with Olivia. His hand on her back and his eyes on her chest and you heard Woody sigh next to you.

‘You know what he’s like, sees a pair of boobs and forgets all logic’ he tried to joke but you weren’t in the mood.

You could see Olivia looking for you, your eyes meeting after a few seconds where she gave you the ‘help me’ look and you made your way straight over to get her. Gripping Mason's shoulder as you popped yourself in between them and even though you weren’t looking at him you could feel the annoyance radiating off of him.

‘Thanks for the drink Mase, we’re gonna go have a dance’ you interrupted, not missing the way he rolled his eyes at you as he tried to speak again but you’d already pulled Olivia away and onto the dance floor where you were both giggling as you got lost in the crowd.

‘Corr he’s a right flirt, you weren’t joking we’re you’

‘Honestly he should come with a warning label’ you groaned. ‘I’m really sorry, I did tell him to keep it in his pants’

‘Don’t worry about it, it’s quite flattering’ she giggled before wrapping an arm around your shoulders. ‘Let’s just keep it between us, by the looks of things he’s already moved on’ she told you and once you looked around you could see him chatting up some other girl and you decided to leave him to it. Rolling your eyes before you and Olivia got lost in the crowd and danced your little socks off.

When Olivia needed the loo, you let her know you’d go and get the pair of you some more drinks and once at the bar you were ambushed by the man you’d been trying to avoid for the last hour.

‘Thanks for that earlier, you jumped in at the wrong time just as usual’ Mason exclaimed but you just turned to smile at him sweetly and the action caught him off guard.

‘No thank you, for completely ignoring me when I asked you not to flirt with her as she’s seeing someone and I didn’t want to make things awkward at work’ you reminded him but you noticed how he shut his eyes before looking back at you with a smirk and you knew he was about to get nasty.

‘So let me get this straight, Olivia’s been working with you for what, three weeks?’ He commented and his comment surprised you as you didn’t think he’d been listening to you that well whenever you spoke about her but clearly he had.

‘Just about, yeah’

‘And she’s already seeing someone?’

‘I mean it’s not official but-‘

‘So she can find someone… but you’ve been there years and-‘

‘Oh get fucked Mase’ you spat, your blood boiling at what he was trying to say and you had to restrain yourself from throwing the drinks that had just been placed infront of you in his face. Mason had just put them on his tab though and you didn’t want to have to pay for your own so you just balled your fists up and tried to let it wash over you. ‘Are you getting a kick out of being an arsehole to me tonight or something?’

‘I’m just pointing out-‘

‘Well don’t, keep your big nose out of my business’ you told him, cutting him off mid sentence but you knew your comments hadn’t hurt him. Nothing ever did.

‘Low blow, y/n. Low blow. You’re lucky I’m not self conscious about it as I know it comes in handy’ he teased. Licking his lips to insinuate something sexual and you felt the disgust roll through you. ‘Come on, let’s go sit. We’ve barely spoken all night’

‘No, I don’t want to’

‘Hey, don’t be like that’ he frowned, but you were done talking to him tonight and you’d have been quite happy to have a few days' break from him after tonight’s interactions.

‘I’m not being like anything’ you huffed, seeing Olivia coming back out from the loo and you used this as your opportunity to get away from him. ‘Olivia’s back, I need to go’ you told him but you didn’t wait for a reaction. Picking up your drinks and making your way over to her but you weren’t in the mood to be happy anymore.

You found a quiet corner with Olivia so you could sit and bitch for a bit, mostly about Mason but you moved onto the topic of people you didn’t like at work until she opened up about Joe from the IT department who she’d got the eyes for. Apparently they’d hit it off from the first day when he handed her her laptop and she’d been falling for him ever since. Sometimes making up issues and submitting tickets for non-existent problems so they could talk and even though you thought it was cute and you were happy for her, Mason's words from before were playing in your mind.

Why did things like this never happen to you? Why could everyone else find someone but you were forever stuck on the sidelines waiting to be picked. You were used to it now and you told yourself you were over it but there were moments like now when it stung and you didn’t want to think about anything anymore.

If truth be told you didn’t want to even be in this club anymore and when Olivia had to make a call you used the time to your advantage to try and find Mason to let him know you were going. Not that it would have made much difference to him as you’d barely spoken all night but when you made your way back to your section you knew something was off.

‘What’s everyone laughing at?’ You asked as you approached Woody and a few of the other boys. Woody's appearing awkward but you could see all the other boys were loving whatever was happening. ‘Where’s Mason?’

‘Trust me, you don’t wanna know’ one of the guys laughed but you were just confused as to what was happening.

‘What?’ You asked, turning towards Woody in hopes he’d give you a bit more of an answer but you could tell he didn’t want to. An embarrassed and guilty look on his face as you raised your brows at him until he eventually spoke.

‘He’s um, he��s in the loo’ Woody gulped but you didn’t understand what the issue was.

‘Okay?’

‘He’s not alone in there’ he whispered and the realisation hit you like a truck.

‘You’re joking? Please tell me you’re joking’ you whispered back, eyes flying around the room to see if anyone else had caught on but thankfully it was just his little gaggle of yes men that were in on it.

‘Well he didn’t exactly hide it’ Woody told you but before you could say anything else there was movement from the corner of your eye and you could see he was emerging from the disabled loo with a stupid smirk on his face and you felt sick to your stomach.

The boys were laughing louder immediately but all you felt was embarrassment. Embarrassed that he was your friend and he thought this was okay, embarrassed for whatever poor girl he’d taken in there and embarrassed that clearly everyone knew what was going on and he was just fine with it.

You watched him talk to security before coming back over to your section. The boys slapping his back before he tried to wrap an arm around your shoulder but you just shrugged him off as soon as he touched you. Not even bothering to look up at his disgruntled face as your eyes were trained on the where he’d just come from and before long the girl emerged.

You watched her walk over to the man Mason had just spoken to, Mason clearly telling her he’d put her name in the list for your section but you doubt he even knew her name in the first place and you felt awful as she looked around for Mason to let her in. You were on the edge of marching over there yourself and telling them to let her through but you didn’t want to cause more of a scene so you just turned to Mason who was looking at you with an amused grin.

‘Seriously, Mason? I know you clearly don’t give a shit but that’s such an awful thing to do’

‘Oh stop getting your knickers in a twist, it’s not like I fucked her’ he told you matter of factly an you gasped at the way he’d just spoken to you.

‘What?’

‘I mean I’ll spare you the details but let’s just say she took very good care of me’

‘Oh fuck off, I don’t wanna know that’ you told him, wrapping your arms around yourself as if you were trying to block him out but he kept laughing at you like he found the whole thing hilarious.

‘Oh y/n don’t be such a grump’ he laughed. ‘Maybe you should think about getting yourself a bit, hopefully they might be able to pull that stick out your arse’

Mason words cut you deep, and you knew he’d only said it as he was playing on your biggest insecurity but that made it worse somehow. You’d opened up to Mason a few times about how unlucky in love you felt you were, how you never seemed to grab anyone’s attention. You knew he tried to help on nights out sometimes but nothing ever worked and you weren’t as on board with one night stands as Mason so clearly was. You were the definition of a wallflower and as much as you knew you had a lot of love to give the right person you grew more worried day by day that it would never be a reality for you.

You knew your face had dropped, Mason’s too once he’d realised what he’d said and that he’d taken it too far but you refused to show how upset you were, not just by what he’d said but everything that had happened tonight.

‘You’re a right dick sometimes’ you told him quietly, picking your bag up and storming out. You could hear the faint sound of him scoffing behind you but you didn’t have the energy to turn around and berate him anymore. Your eyes already stinging and the sadness rippled over you but you held it together so you could get out the door and sort yourself an Uber out.

You wondered if he might have followed you outside to come and apologise right away but you knew that would never happen. As long as Mason was happy in Mason land he didn’t care what he did or said to anyone else and even though you thought you might have been the exception, that clearly wasn’t the case anymore.

‘Y/n? What are you doing out here?’ You heard, Turing to see Olivia walking over to you with a concerned expression but you just blinked the tears away and gave her a half hearted smile.

‘Just getting some air’ you smiled. ‘Listen, I’m so sorry about tonight. I didn’t realise he was gonna be such an arse’ you apologised but you could see from her face it was all fine and she didn't care.

‘It’s not your fault, yeah? You’re not responsible for him’ she told you and you felt lighter at her words until she gave you a look you couldn't quite place. ‘But please don’t hate me, I’ve just been on the phone to Joe and he’s invited me over. You don’t mind if I go, do you?’ She asked and even though it stung slightly you couldn't blame her. Not when you were on your way home too now.

‘Of course not, don't be silly’ you reassured her, thinking that might be the end of it but the sympathetic smile she gave you made you feel worse somehow.

‘Are you going back in?’

‘I think I might just head home, I’ve had enough of him tonight’ you joked but she knew she could tell there was an air of truth behind it.

‘Don’t let him ruin your night, why don’t you come with me?’ She offered but you just looked back at her in confusion.

‘What? To hang out with you and Joe? I don’t think he’ll be too happy with that’

‘Oh no he’s at a party at his friends house not too far from here, there’s a load of people there and a few from work so you’ll know a load of them’ she explained and the idea of it being more than just the two of them sweetened the deal a bit.

‘I don’t know’

‘Pleeeeeeease. Don’t let that horrible boy upset you, plus I’m not done hanging out with you yet. Mason aside I’ve had fun tonight’ she pouted and you felt your resolve slipping. ‘Come on, I’ll pay for the Uber and everything’

‘Okay fine’ you laughed. Jumping into the car with her when it turned up and you were only ten minutes into being there once you realised what a good choice you’d made. You never hung out with your colleagues outside of work but you had a lot of fun and even made some new friends. The whole experience teaching you that there was more to life than Mason and you made a promise to yourself to take a step back from him for your own sake.

You made it home at around 3am in a taxi with a friend of Joes who’d promised to get you home safely. You’d been talking for most of the night and it was a complete 180 from being with Mason. He made you feel important and heard and when he kissed you cheek at your front door you felt your knees wobble. You blamed it on the drink and being so touch starved but once your were inside you realised how much of a good time you’d had without Mason once more.

The constant fear of what he was going to say or do next, the need to clean up his mess that inevitably always came and the growing embarrassment that came from being around him was getting you down. All you could think about was a break from him and If truth be told you needed a break from everything at this point so made a mental note to book some time off of work for a little break now the weather was getting nicer to go and see your auntie in Spain as a little something to look forward too.

You’d seen Mason had text you a few hours ago. Wondering where you’d gone and to text him back but you left it. Not wanting to talk to him right now so you got undressed and got into bed so you could wait for the inevitable hangover in the morning.

It was 8am when you woke up and knew your phone was going off every few minutes but you ignored it, not in the mood for whoever it was and when you hadn’t received a text for a while you had a quick Look I see they were all from Mason.

You didn’t believe his empty threats, ignoring everything he’d written and rolling over onto your other side so you could get back to sleep and thankfully it came easily as you were still so exhausted. He could work things out for himself for one morning surely?

You were expecting your head to be pounding when you next woke up, but you’d never felt it like this before. Never heard it in your ears so intensely or heard your name being called over and over until you realised it wasn’t what you thought and when you recognised Mason's voice you groaned into your pillow.

‘Y/n! Are you in there?’ You heard him call. Hoping you could just ignore him and he’d go away but Mason being Mason didn’t let up. ‘Right I’ve not heard or seen you since last night, I don’t know where you are or what you’re doing so I’m calling the police’

‘Oh fuck off’ you huffed, storming out of bed in just your underwear and a tiny T-shirt so you could tell him off, watching Masons head snap up when you opened the door and you didn’t miss the way his eyes trailed all over you.

‘What the fuck are you doing?’ You spat, pulling him inside and slamming the door shut before turning to face him with a furious glare. He was looking straight back at you the same way though and you’d never seen him so mad in all the years you’d known him.

‘Are you kidding me? What the fuck are you doing? Why are you ignoring me?’

‘Are you being serious right now?

‘Completely. And can you go and get dressed you freaking me out’ he remarked but you just placed your hands on your hips and made him look at you.

‘No I can’t’ you told him and you knew he wasn't comfortable with you standing there in next to nothing so you used it to your advantage. ‘You were awful to me last night Mason, I mean you’ve not been nice for a while but last night tipped me over the edge’

‘What did I do?’

‘What didn’t you do!’ You exploded, seeing him visibly jump as he wasn’t expecting it but you just kept going, releasing all the pent up aggression and anger he’d made you feel lately and you could feel the tears stinging behind your eyes. ‘You’re so rude about me, about the way I dress and just how I am. I told you specifically not to go near Olivia and you did. Not to mention that poor girl you used in the toilet, I take it she wasn’t the same girl you took home last?’

‘Well no but-‘

‘I just, I don’t like what you’re turning into and I’m not gonna sit by and watch it happen anymore so if you still want me around you need to fix up and fix up fast’

‘You can’t tell me what to do’ he scoffed, the playfulness he usually spoke at you with now completely vanished and you had a feeling deep in your tummy that this wasn’t going to end well yet you carried on.

‘Well if you carry on like this then I’m out Mason. I don’t wanna surround myself with you and the people you hang out with anymore’

‘Oh you thought… oh that’s hilarious’ he laughed, clutching his tummy like you’d just told him the funniest joke in the world. ‘You actually think I care if you don't wanna talk to me anymore? That I’d care if I upset you? You really think telling me that is gonna make me change? Get real y/n, we’re not 13 anymore’

‘What?’ you breathed, his words feeling like a punch in the gut as he stared down at you and as much as you were trying to be the bigger person in this and make him see how awful he was being, you felt awfully small.

‘Well let’s face it, it’s not like we’re even from the same universe at this point and everything I do you take the wrong way’ he told you and you could feel yourself shrinking as he turned the tables. Bracing yourself to feel his full wrath as you knew he didn’t like being told off ‘You’re so uptight, y/n and is it any wonder why?’

‘You don’t have to get so personal all the time’

‘But you’re allowed to? You’re allowed to have a go at me cause I fuck around a bit and actually enjoy my life rather than play kids games and and make out I’m holier than thou? Just cause no one’s ever found you attractive doesn’t mean anyone else isn’t allowed any fun’

You never thought he could be this mean. His words from last night paled into comparison from what he was saying now and you unconsciously wrapped your arms around yourself as he tore you to shreds.

‘You know I tried to be a good friend, I tried my hardest to find you someone but you throw it back in my face everytime. Not that I think it would have mattered anyway cause they all tell me you’re too stuck up for your own good. No ones ever gonna want you y/n, cause you make it fucking impossible’

‘I've never been good enough for you have I?’ You whispered, watching the muscle in his jaw flex as a single tear rolled down your cheek, but his face remained hard as you tried to let him know how you felt no matter how heartbroken you were. ‘You know I always thought it was a bit of fun and teasing, you calling me a nerd or whatever but actually don’t like me, do you? But I’m good enough when you need me, I’m good enough to come over and kick out whatever girl you need kicking out. Good enough to cook for you and get you everything you need’ ’

‘Oh fuck off, y/n’ he spat, looking away from you and trying to make his way to the door. ‘You think I need you that much? Have a laugh, I only kept you around cause you came in handy sometimes’ he laughed, trying his hardest to hurt you and even though it was working you could see in his eyes he didn’t mean it. ‘People leave me all the time, why should I give a shit if you do too?’

‘Mase-‘

‘Nah it’s fine, I’ll go. Sorry for giving a shit about you, I know not to do that again. Don’t worry I won’t be back’

You knew exactly what he was doing. He was being defensive because you were upset with him and he wanted to make you feel bad too. You knew he could be mean but never like this and when he slammed your door in your face you stood there for a few moments just taking it all in. Replaying all the awful things he’d said to you before walking like a zombie back to bed and hiding under the covers so you could let a few tears out but not many came. Too in shock at hurt about what he’d said to form any real emotions but as the days went on you felt worse and worse about yourself.

Three weeks went by and you didn’t hear a peep from him. Wondering if maybe you should message him first but after a day you realised he was the one that messed up and you didn’t want to be running after him. He’d completely disappeared from online and you’d even had a cheeky look on some of his update accounts to see if he’d been spotted anywhere but it was just the usual training pictures and nothing more.

It was difficult, getting angrier as the days went by before sadness took its place. He was your best friend and had been for years but you hated everything he’d become and you weren't about to push your boundaries to accommodate him anymore. Not after all the awful things he’d said to you either that wouldn’t stop plaguing your mind.

You’d never felt as ugly as you did right now. His words had hit home as it was things you’d always thought about yourself but to hear them actually vocalised from the person who you thought you meant a lot to stung in a way nothing else ever had. Realising maybe you would be on your own for a long time as there clearly was something wrong with you and as the days passed the harder you cried.

Cried for the friendship you once had, cried for the words he’d spat in your face and cried for how awful you felt about yourself and how lonely you were night after night as you rarely spoke to anyone in fear of your emotions taking over now.

You tried to let it go, carrying on as normal but you could tell Olivia knew something was up. Letting you know she was there for you when you needed but for now you just wanted to wallow a little.

You were sat at home getting lost in a new true crime documentary when you felt your phone ring. Glancing down to see Mason's picture filling up your screen and you instantly froze. Too panicked to answer as you didn’t know what you’d say to him right now so you just stared down at the screen until the call ended. Anxious to see if he would call you back at all but he didn’t and you presumed it was a mistake until the next day when a text came through from him on your lunch break.

What did he want?

You presumed it was to apologise but at this point you didn’t want to hear it. He’d done and said enough and you were still getting over most of it so to have him back in your life seemed counter intuitive.

So you left him on read and forgot about him. Spending your lunch break with Olivia and Joe but by the time you were back at your desk he was all you could think about. His text had left a weird feeling in your tummy and you felt a little bad about knowing he wanted to presumably apologise but you wouldn't let him but what you’d said was true. You really weren’t ready just yet.

Sandra was a person you considered your work mum. A slightly older woman who worked on reception and was the smiling face that always greeted you every morning but she was also the woman you went to for advice and to have a moan to. She’s never judged you or told you what to do but it was nice getting an opinion from someone so wise so knowing you were going to see her filled you with a calmness you hadn’t felt in a while.

‘They’ve not got your favourite left, but I got you a kitkat’ you smiled as you approached the reception desk, noticing Sandra was looking back at you with an awkward smile that confused you until you looked to your left and were met with the brown eyed boy you’d been avoiding. ‘Mason? How did you even get in here?’

‘I let him in’ Sandra smiled, looking over at Mason with a wink and you could see him send her an appreciative smile as he made his way closer to you. Only then clicking the giant bunch of pink and white tulips in his arms and your chest felt tight at the sight of them.

‘You shouldn’t have done that’ you told her lowly, hoping he wouldn’t be able to hear but Sandra had other ideas and brought him into the conversation.

‘Oh come on y/n, how can you say no to that face’ she pouted, tilting her head over to him and once you looked back at Mason his usual cheeky smile adorned his lips as he playfully batted his eyelashes at you. ‘You need to talk to him anyway’

‘No I don’t, what’s he told you?’ you argued back. You purposefully hadn't told Sandra anything about what was going on with Mason as you were embarrassed and wanted to deal with it on your own but you should have known she’d find out eventually. Mothers always do.

‘That you won’t talk to him and that he wants to tell you how sorry he is’

‘Well he can tell me that himself’ you huffed, crossing your arms over your chest before you heard him not so subtly coughing. Looking up to find him glancing between the pair of you like he was reminding you he was still there.

‘I would if you gave me a chance’ he laughed before shyly nodding over to the sofa where guests usually waited. Silently asking you to come with him so you could talk a bit more privately and you reluctantly walked over after a beat. Watching Mason pluck a flower from the bouquet in his arms to give to Sandra as a thank you and you almost cracked a smile at how she blushed when she took it. The pair of them whispering a little before he turned to face you and he walked over like a naughty school boy.

‘Do we have to do this now?’ You asked. Not wanting to have this conversation with him here and now but since you’d been avoiding him you hadn’t given him many other options and you could tell from the way he was looking at you he was determined to speak with you.

‘Yes, we do. You’re ignoring me and left me no choice’

‘Can you just be quick?’ You asked, not wanting to air your dirty laundry in the reception where Sandra could quite easily hear everything and even though you felt bad he’d put the effort in to come and see you, you were practically turning him away.

‘Y/n-

‘Please, Mase. I’m at work’

‘Fine, I’ll go’ he huffed and the heartbroken look on his face made your tummy churn. ‘Only if you agree I can come over later and apologise properly’ he told you but you didn’t agree straight away and you could see he was getting desperate. ‘Y/n please’

‘Okay fine’ you sighed, nodding your head as you knew it would have to be done sooner or later and since he was making the effort you thought you should cut him some slack. His face softened immediately before his eyes fell to the flowers in his hands that he passed to you in with a shy smile

‘These are for you, your favourite’

‘Thank you’ you whispered, taking them carefully and you knew your face was turning red as you held them to your chest. This was the first bunch of flowers anyone had ever bought you and you could feel your eyes welling up at the fact he’d remembered your favourite ones.

‘Well it’s the least you deserve’ he nodded but you didn’t know what to say to him, standing there awkwardly until he coughed. ‘What time will you be home?’

‘Around six’

‘Okay well, maybe I could bring us some food over and we’ll talk’

‘Okay’ you whispered, nodding gently before looking down as you were so overwhelmed with emotions.

He didn’t say anything after that, just touched your arm and planted a quick kiss on your forehead before walking back over to Sandra so he could sign out of the visors book. His action confused you as he never showed you signs of affection aside from the occasional hug so the kiss only made you blush even more. Giving yourself a few seconds to calm down before eventually joining them at the desk.

‘Leaving so soon? Sandra pouted as Mason approached her and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes at the way she was so clearly wrapped around his finger already.

‘Yeah, this one wants me gone’ he teased, signing his name in the box but Sandra just threw you a disappointed look and you felt awful instantly.

‘Oh y/n’ she tutted before looking back at Mason with doe eyes. ‘If it were up to me I’d let you stay’

‘And that’s why you're my number one girl’ he told her. Flashing her his killer smile and sending her wink before turning back to you. ‘I’ll see you later, okay?’

You didn’t answer, just nodded before he left with a sad smile and as soon as he was out the door you felt Sandra’s eyes burning holes into the side of your head.

‘I tell you what, if I was 30 years younger that boy would be in serious trouble’ she told you, fanning herself with a sheet of paper from her notebook and you felt your resolve crack instantly.

‘God sake Sandra’ you laughed. It was clear that Mason was a hit with the ladies but you didn’t know he’d have this hold over someone like Sandra.

‘What’s he done? Is it really that bad or are you just making him sweat?’ She asked casually, the need to spill your guts to her was as overwhelming as ever but something was telling you to keep it under wraps until things with him were sorted so you didn’t say anything you might regret.

‘He’s not been the best for a while but we had a massive argument a few weeks back after he pushed everything a bit too far so we’ve not spoken in a while’

‘I’d just kiss and make up if I were you, he’s too pretty to be mad at’ she teased and you knew you were blushing again. This time out of sheer awkwardness.

‘It’s not like that, Sandra. He’s my best friend, nothing more, okay? No kissing or whatever else you think might be going on’

‘I’m not sure about that’ she mused ‘He doesn’t look at you like a friend’

‘That’s cause he’s trying to get on my good side probably’

‘Hmmm, we’ll see’ she winked but you didn’t want to listen anymore. Quickly making your way back to your desk so she couldn’t try and marry you off to your best friend but you could feel everyone’s eyes on you as you walked through with your flowers. Even Olivia sent you a curious look but you motioned that you’d text her later to explain.

You couldn’t focus for the rest of the afternoon. Mason's flowers that were sitting on your desk were a constant reminder that you’d have to see him later and you weren’t sure if you were ready to forgive him yet, if ever. Everything he’d said to you and the way he’d made you feel was still fresh in your mind and you knew they would take a while to recover from.

You were sick and tired of forgiving him for the cycle to start over again but you couldn’t deny you missed him. Yes things had gotten way out of control but you missed your movie nights and catch ups. You even missed making breakfast together after you’d kicked another girl out for him but you knew it all had to stop. He was a man now and able to look after himself and that’s what you wanted to tell him.

You weren’t expecting him to be on time, he never usually was, but at quarter past six there was a knock on your door. He was earlier than you thought he’d be and when you answered he stood there looking as guilty as ever with a few pizza boxes in his hands and you sent him a small smile before nodding him in.

‘Come in, you whispered, walking him into your living room so he could set the pizza down on the coffee table and take a seat but the only choice you had was to sit next to him as you could only fit a small sofa in here. Your flat wasn’t the biggest in the world and Mason always told you he’d pay for you to live somewhere nicer but it was time like these you were glad he didn’t. Not knowing what might happen if things went up in smoke.

‘Can I talk first? I’ve just been thinking about what I wanna say for days and I don’t wanna mess it up’ he asked you but you just nodded. Not sure what you wanted to say yourself yet so you figured you’d sit and listen to what he wanted to say first.

‘That’s fine’ you whispered, watching him get settled in his seat before launching into his monologue.

‘Okay well, I just wanted to tell you how sorry I am for everything’ he gulped ‘I know I’ve been the biggest dick and I’ve hurt you but I really am sorry and I’m gonna prove it to you if you’ll let me’ he confirmed and you felt his words swimming through your veins. Never once had you heard him like before let alone hear the words I’m sorry come out of his mouth and look like he meant it.

‘Last time I saw you, when I went off on one, I was just hurt that you’d called me out and I wanted to get you back for it. I know that’s childish and stupid but you hit home with everything you said and I couldn’t take it’ he told you. Clasping his hands together as some form of distraction as he spoke and you knew he was trying his best to hold it together.

‘You’ve always been there for me, you know? You’ve always done things for me that you shouldn’t have and you’ve stuck up for me when you didn’t need to but I’ve surrounded myself with the complete wrong people who don’t care about me. They’re looking for a good time and never tell me no so I thought it was great, but not having you around has just made me realise they’re not the sort of people I need in my life, yeah? You’re what I need’

His strangled voice was pulling at your heartstrings but no matter what he was saying you didn’t want to jump right in and accept his apology. There was so much you wanted to say and that you needed him to know about how he’d treated you. You could see he was sorry and it was evident that he was hurt but if you didn’t want to let him off easy, you wanted him to understand exactly how you were feeling and leave nothing unsaid so you could move away from it and hopefully move on.

‘Please say something’ he gulped, wanting to hear something from you straight away but you knew as soon as you started you wouldn't be able to stop.

‘Thank you for apologising, it really does mean a lot to me that you came here but i'm really hurt Mase and I’m not really sure what to say’ you told him. Your voice sounding thick no matter how hard you tried to hold the tears in and you watched the heartbreak on his face as he saw you get upset.

‘It just sucked, I guess. To feel like you only ever called me when you needed me, like to get rid of someone or if I fit into your plans. Just felt like you didn’t give a damn about me ever. I’ve never said anything or judged you about the way you acted, not until recently at least, cause we’re friends but maybe I should have. Like just told you no a couple of times but I just felt so small to you and that it wouldn’t make a difference’

You could tell he wanted to speak, to let you know that it was all untrue and that he cared about you more than anything but he didn’t butt in. He let you speak and gave you your time to get everything out you needed to and it was more therapeutic than you thought it would be.

‘You know I remember the last time I knew I couldn’t count on you anymore. It was my last year at uni and I had an evening class so I could present my final project but all the trains were messed up and I had to walk there in the end through the rain’ you sniffed and when you looked at him you knew he knew what night you were talking about. ‘It took me just under an hour and I was late in the end so I got docked points and had to make it up with some extra credit but I called you. I called you and you said you were sorry but you were stuck in an important meeting and you couldn’t get out of it’ you hiccuped and it’s like he didn’t want to hear any more. His hands covering his eyes as he shook his head from side to side but you kept going. ‘But then when I got home and I just wanted someone to talk to and rant to there were pictures of you plastered online with some random girl in your lap and I knew you’d lied to me’

‘I’m sorry’ he blubbed, looking up at you with red eyes and a wobbly bottom lip but even that didn’t stop you from carrying on. The words pouring out from your mouth like a waterfall as years of hurt made their way to the surface.

‘You made me feel so worthless when I’ve stuck around since day dot. You always spout about his family is everything to you but I thought that included me? And I felt like I never meant a thing’

‘You did- you do. You mean everything to me I swear. Please please don’t say that it kills me’ he sobbed before finally reaching for you. Pulling you into his body and you let yourself hide in his neck as the tears fell from your eyes. ‘I was a dick for no reason and you’re the last person I should have taken anything out on. You’re right, I was disgusting and I didn’t care about anyone else and you were the first person I actually cared about who told me no and I couldn't take it’

‘You really hurt me’

‘I know I did and I can't tell you how sorry I am’ he cried. ‘I know I’m not easy to be around or easy to keep up with but you’ve always been there and I took you for granted. I honestly didn’t see what I was doing wrong cause no one ever told me, like everyone just let me do what I wanted but I get it now, I really do. I was just so caught up in having a good time and not thinking about the consequences so I took things too far. I know I’m probably out of second chances but I need to ask again cause I can’t lose you’

Your silence was deafening for him and you knew he wanted some sort of answer from you. Eventually sitting up and making you look at him and even though he looked panicked his voice was calm as he carried on speaking.

‘I’m a fuck up okay? I know I am and I know the last thing you probably want or need is me coming back into your life to cause you more stress again but this massive fuck up has misssd you so so much’

You couldn’t stop the little chuckle that fell from your lips. The sound making him smile too before he took your hands in his.

‘I’m sorry for embarrassing you, I’m sorry for all the lies I’ve told and all the horrible shit I’ve said about you and I’m sorry for the constant 8am wakeup calls on a Saturday cause I can’t control myself. I know how to behave and I know what I need to do so I’ll just do it yeah? No more calling you up to kick girls out for me cause they won’t be there in the first place. You need me and I’ll do whatever I can to get there for you and do exactly what you do for me everyday. These few weeks without you have been awful and I’m sorry it took us getting to this point to make me see but I’d rather get rid of everyone in my circle if it meant I got to keep you’ he confirmed as he squeezed your hands a bit tighter. ‘What do you say, huh? Do you think we could work something out?’

‘I mean, you’re right. It probably is the last thing I need’ you started, watching his head sink as his eyes fell to his lap but you just considered it a tiny bit of payback for now. ‘But I can’t lie and say that I haven’t missed you too,’ you told him. Voice wobbling at the end as your emotions took over and you could see he was also finding it hard to take. ‘But I miss the old Mason, I miss my friend’

‘I’m still here I promise. Just give me a chance and I’ll show you I’m still in here’

‘Please don’t make me regret it’ you whispered but you didn’t have a chance to say anything else. Mason bundling you into his arms and the feeling of his arms around you settled you more than anything else had and when he pulled back to smile at you, you felt your heart flutter in your chest. ‘Just because you’ve apologised doesn’t mean things can go back to the way they were. I might need some time’

‘I know, I don’t want that either. I’m gonna prove to you how much I’ve changed and we’ll go at your pace. I just needed to apologise and that’s whether you accepted it or not, but I really would love it if you did’

‘I do’ you told him, your face crumpling once again but he was quick to wrap you up and comfort you once again.

Over the next few weeks he was an angel, giving you the space you needed but also checking in when he could. Things felt normal but so different at the same time and the relief of having your friend back was overwhelming. It was two weeks later when you next saw him in person though, Mason messaging you early Friday evening to see what you were up to the next day but you weren’t expecting his response.

The fact he was offering to drive was tempting. You hated lugging heavy bags on the train and the fact the prospect of food was involved was even more appealing but you hadn’t hung out like this in a long time even before your big fight. Mostly because he was always busy but also because you’d just silently grown apart in that way. Mason liked getting his own way and him doing things for other people didn’t fall into that category.

You had a lot to do and the last thing you needed was him getting bored and rushing you round before spending an afternoon with him trying to annoy you. You knew it was mean but you wanted to put him off a little bit so you could shop in peace but you didn’t want him to think you were still mad at him and didn’t want to hang out.

His message made your heart sink. He really was trying and you knew he wanted more opportunities to prove himself but before you could think about it anymore he was messaging you again to try and convince you even more and you couldn’t deny him this time.

When 9 rolled around the next morning he was there. Standing by his car as he opened the door for you after a quick hug and you promised yourself you’d try and be positive about today and give him a chance to prove himself if that’s what he really wanted.

‘You eaten?’ He asked as you got bucked in, knowing how hungry you got in the mornings but you always prioritised sleep over eating. You had a little bit of extra time today though so you nodded your head at him but didn’t miss how his face dropped slightly.

‘I had some toast’

‘Oh okay, I um… I picked you up one of those juices you like and a pastry but if you don’t want it that’s fine’ he mumbled, looking slightly embarrassed and you felt your heart race at how thoughtful he’d been.

‘Oh… oh no I’ll have it. You know what I’m like, always starving’ you laughed, accepting the little bag and juice he’d picked you up with a smile and you could see how shy he looked. An expression he didn’t usually wear and his soft smile made your heart flutter in your chest. ‘Thank you, Mase’

‘It’s okay’ he whispered, starting the car so he could look away from you and even though the drive was fairly silent with just the low sound of his music playing, you didn’t feel awkward.

‘You coming then?’ You asked as he finished parking, watching his smile light up his face knowing you weren’t going to leave him to sit in the car on his own before he nodded enthusiastically at you.

‘So this trip, is it the usual?’ He asked as you made your way into the main shopping centre and you knew he was referring to where you were going as you visited your auntie in Spain every year.

‘Yeah, it’s just for a few days this time but I really need the break’ you explained and he nodded at you knowingly.

You went to Boots first, Mason holding the basket for you as he followed behind and you filled it with everything you needed. You were about halfway round the shop when you realised something was different, Mason not questioning why you needed everything you put in the basket or making stupid jokes. If anything he was more than helpful, reaching the higher shelves for you and manoeuvring you around the busy aisles by your waist as he knew you hated the crowds.

When it came time to pay, he scanned everything for you while you packed the bag and when you were done he picked it up without any questions so you didn’t have to carry it.

Next on your list was clothes. Wanting to try a few different things on to your usual so you could mix it up a bit and when you had an armful of things to try you turned to Mason with a smile.

‘Will you come into the changing room with me?’

‘What?’ He choked, his eyes going wide immediately as the question sunk in but you just rolled your eyes as you tugged on his wrist.

‘Yeah I need your opinion and I can’t be bothered to keep walking out here every time. I’ll go to one of the family ones so my arse isn’t shoved in your face, don't worry’ you laughed, pushing him inside with you so he didn’t have a choice but you could see the awkwardness on his face. Eventually shifting his eyes to the floor until you bundled him into a cubicle and made him sit on the seat in the corner.

‘I um… what do I-i um’ he mumbled as he set the bags down and you couldn’t help but giggle at his awkwardness. A side of him you hadn’t seen in a while.

‘Oh come on, it’s not like you’ve never seen me in my underwear before’ you laughed thinking back to when you were growing up and to even more recent times like when he showed up at your door and on nights out when he had to put you to bed after one too many but you could see he wasn’t feeling a bit strange so you hung the dresses up on the rail and smiled at him reassuringly. ‘Shut your eyes until I tell you to open them, yeah?’

‘Okay’ he whispered. Shutting his eyes and covering them with his hands as you turned away and picked up the first dress.

It was nothing like you usually wore. Tight and short with a fully cut out back meaning you had to quickly take your bra off to try it on and the thought of wearing it outside these four walls terrified you but you were determined to push yourself out of your comfort zone.

‘You can open them now, what do you think?’ You asked him, watching his eyes adjust to the light for a second before an unreadable emotion took over his face.

‘Oh it’s um… it’s different’ he told you and you couldn't tell if he liked it or not.

‘Well I’ve been thinking about what you said and even though I was pissed at the time and you could have probably worded it nicer I think you were right’ you told him, hands brushing over the short skirt and even though you felt different in it you didn’t feel too uncomfortable. ‘I need to show a bit more skin, you know?’

‘Wait-‘

‘What do boys like more? Bum or boobs? Like what do I need to-‘

‘Wait, stop’ he interrupted, the tone of his voice making you stop in your tracks and turn to him and when he held his hand out to you, you took it carefully. Letting him pull you in between your legs slowly so he could talk to you better but when you felt his fingertips on the backs of your bare thighs your legs turned to jelly.

You didn’t know what it was, that weird feeling pulsating through you at just a simple touch from Mason of all people and the sensation made it feel like you couldn’t get your breath out properly. In the end you had to rest your hands on his chest so you didn’t crumple to the floor and it was like the atmosphere changed within a heartbeat.

His big brown eyes looked dark as he peered up at you through his lashes, the bridge of his nose a deep red and his pouty lips had parted slightly as he tried to control his breathing but it’s like you blinked and the moment was gone. His eyes moving to look at your shoulder now and you moved your hands away from his chest to cross them over your body.

‘Sit down, yeah?’ He whispered, nodding his head to his leg and you sat on his thigh as he caged you in his arms. His face serious as you wondered what he might be about to say to you and you could feel your cheeks getting warm as he looked at you in a way he never had before. ‘You don’t… you don’t need to change the way you look or dress, okay? I was a dick and I shouldn’t have said all that before. It was crap of me and it wasn’t true anyway’

‘But-‘

‘But nothing’ he whispered, cutting you off and you felt your eyes sting as he smiled sweetly at you. ‘You deserve the world, you know that? And you deserve a man who doesn’t care about how much skin you’ve got on show or what your body looks like in what you’ve got on. You want a man who cares about what’s going on in here’ he whispered, tapping your temple lightly before doing the same to the top of your chest. ‘And in here. And yeah it might be a wait but you’ll get there. You don’t have to sell yourself short to dickheads like me who don’t have what you need, okay?’

‘It just gets hard sometimes’ you sniffed, his words hitting you deep in your tummy and you couldn’t stop the tears spilling from your eyes before you felt him pulling you into his body for a cuddle. Your head nestled into his neck as you held onto him for dear life but the feel of his hand stroking up and down your back bare soothed you ever so slightly.

‘I know it does’

‘What’s wrong with me?’ You hiccuped, barely able to hold yourself together at this point but his gentle touches really were helping. You felt safe with him for the first time in a long time and you knew you could tell him anything and it wouldn’t matter. He’d listen and reassure you like best friends are supposed to.

‘Nothing, I promise. Absolutely nothing, you’re perfect okay’ he told you. Speaking the words directly into ear and he sounded so determined and sure of himself that the sound made you shiver. ‘You’re too perfect, maybe that’s the problem. It's dicks like me that have got something wrong with us yeah’ he laughed and you let out a little chuckle before pulling back so you could wipe your eyes. ‘Does everything you picked out look like that?’

‘Yeah’ you laughed, smiling as he caught the tears you missed.

‘Okay well let me go and look for you, I saw a few bits that are more you but just a bit different. You can try those on and see what you think, yeah?’

‘Okay’ you sniffed, not sure about this idea but you were willing to entertain him at this point and when he came back with a few bits you were actually surprised at how much you loved them. Still your style but just a little different and you couldn’t help but give Mason a massive hug at the end.

Once you’d paid, Mason offered to take all the bags back to the car whilst you popped into Primark for underwear and socks and once you were done you met him outside. Your tummy grumbling as it approached lunchtime and he let you pick wherever you wanted to go but you settled on Nando’s as you knew that’s secretly what he wanted and since he’d been good to you that morning you figured you’d be good to him.

You were back at his just after one, leaving your bags in the car but you noticed he’d taken in a white paper bag that you hadn’t seen him with all day and after the pair of you got yourselves a drink and settled on the sofa, he turned to you with a shy smile.

‘Hey, so I got you something’ he told you nervously, producing the white paper bag from earlier from the side of the sofa and you took it from him with a confused grin.

You didn’t ask what it was, just reached in to grab hold of the box and when you finally pulled it out you almost lost your breath. The brightly coloured picture of the northern lights making you smile immediately before you looked up to his nervous face.

‘I wanted to get you one we could maybe do together? I know it’s probably not as big or complicated as you’re used to but I thought we could start me off easy’ he laughed but you were too overcome with emotion to think of anything to say. Never in a million years did you think he’d want to do a puzzle with you let alone buy you one with a picture of the place you’d always wanted to visit the most on it.

‘Can we do it now?’ You asked excitedly. Knowing you had the whole afternoon together to finish it and when his face mirrored yours you felt like jumping up and down.

‘Of course’ he grinned. ‘I’ll clear the coffee table and we can do it there if that’s alright?’

‘That's perfect’ you nodded, hugging the box to your chest as you stood up before touching his arm gently so he’d look at you. ‘Do you mind if I borrow something to wear? I like to be comfy when I’m getting my puzzle on’ you laughed but he just smiled before motioning to follow you to his room. Picking you out a few things to choose from and you settled on a pair of his grey shorts and an oversized T-shirt of his before taking a hoodie down with you just in case you got cold.

Mason got changed too just after you before running into the kitchen to get you both some snacks and drinks whilst you cleared the table and soon enough you were tipping the contense of the box onto the table so you could get started.

‘Right what do we do?’ Mason questioned, the large pile of tiny pieces daunting him quite clearly but you just giggled as you took a seat opposite him.

‘Well I’ll tell you how I do it, so we need to find the corner pieces first, then the edges then we’ll sort the leftovers out by colour and go from there. That sound good?’

‘Okay’ he nodded and you gave him the task of the corners and edges whilst you organised the rest. Only realising then how much of a difficult one this one might be. He was right in saying it was less pieces than you were used to but the picture was complicated and once he’d got all his pieces sorted he looked at you with a confused smile.

‘You realise this is gonna be difficult? And we could be here for a while’ You told him, watching him gulp nervously before looking back at all the pieces.

‘Really? But it’s only 500 pieces. The ones you do are thousands’

‘Yeah but the picture here is complicated, it's just all random colours like there’s no buildings or anything to work from’

‘Oh, shit sorry’ he laughed before shrugging at you. ‘I just know you’ve always wanted to go so I thought you’d like it’

‘No don’t be sorry, I do like it. Love it, in fact. I just don’t want you to get bored or frustrated with it if it takes a while’

‘No it’s okay, I can do it’ he told you. The same determined look you’d seen in his eyes countless times before important games and finals and it made you smile that he was applying the same fight for this.

You let him put some background music on as you worked away. Talking lightly about some plans you both had coming up but it was difficult for Mason to multitask. You could see he was trying his best and had done a lot of work in one of the corners but he couldn’t puzzle and talk like you could and you thought his concentrated face was cute. Often finding yourself just watching him for a few moments until he caught you and sent you a lopsided smile as he blushed.

You ordered food in when the time came. Taking a small break so you could reevaluate how much you’d done before jumping back in and it was approaching 9pm when you finally finished. Mason giving you the last piece to place in as he knew it was your favourite bit before you cheered and wrapped your arms around his shoulders.

‘Not bad for something dorks do, huh?’ You giggled but it was like he was frozen. His gaze all over your face before a look of guilt washed over his.

‘You know I never thought you were a dork’ he gulped, wrapping his arms around you tighter and pulling you further into his lap.

‘Mase it’s fine-‘

‘No, cause it’s not’ he shrugged. ‘I never meant it in a malicious way but even playing it’s still not nice so I’m sorry’

‘Thank you’ whispered and after he gave you a quick smile he was looking down at his lap shly again.

‘It’s kinda late, do you maybe wanna stay over? We can have a sleepover like we used to’ he winked and while the idea sounded fun you were also a little unsure.

‘I don’t wanna sleep in your sex bed’ you laughed and the shocked expression on his face made you giggle.

‘Hey, you think I let just anyone go in there? He laughed. ‘I don’t take random girls in there, I take them to the loft room. Well I did at least, I haven’t done that in a while’

‘Why not?’

‘Dunno, just not in the mood? Been too busy begging for your forgiveness’ he teased before his eyes were boring into yours. ‘Please stay’

‘Okay’ you whispered, slightly thankful he’d asked as you didn’t fancy the drive home this late. You were already sleepy and when he tucked you in next to him after he’d put a movie on it didn’t take you long to fall asleep.

The pair of you joked the next morning about who he would call to come and kick you out and you hadn’t felt this normal with him in years. Your Mason was back and you couldn’t be more thankful but again over the next few weeks his behaviour began to change.

It seemed to be going the opposite way though, Mason swapping his devil horns for angel wings and it was like he was getting sweeter by the second.

Every morning you woke up to a good morning text, and every evening he’d text you goodnight. Messaging you throughout the day when he could and even though it was always silly conversations it was like he’d made it his mission to make you smile whenever he could. He was being the best friend he could be and so much more but it was like he was changing his whole life for the better. No more random nights out so he could trap a girl and take her home, no more mean jokes at your expense and you hadn’t heard about his gaggle of yes men in weeks.

You spent all of your free time together. No matter what you were doing or how boring you thought he might have found it he wanted to be there doing it with you.

You knew Mason was always touchy with everyone but he’d never been the same with you. A hand on your shoulder maybe but that was it, however now he couldn’t seem to keep his hands away from you now. Always standing next to you when he could, his hands on your waist or you back or his fingers threaded through yours as you sat and watched tv.

You could feel things changing but you weren’t sure what it was. Wondering if he was just happy you were back but you needed an explanation for the puppy eyes he was sending your way every five seconds that you didn’t understand.

You waited until you’d been to his for dinner one night, letting him load the dishwasher as you got comfortable on the sofa and once he was done he flopped down with his head in your lap as a content hum fell from his lips.

‘What’s gotten into you lately?’ You laughed, massaging his head slightly as he nestled into your lap even further but the action just made you laugh until he was rolling onto his back and looking up at you with a smile that made his eyes crease.

‘What do you mean?’

‘Well I know I said I wanted the old Mason back but this is something else’ you winked and you could see his cheeks flush as you called him out for his actions.

‘Well I want you to like me’ he shrugged, sitting up and taking your hand in his and even though he was shy you kept pressing him in hope of some answers.

‘You’re my best friend Mason, of course I like you’

‘What if I more than like you?’ He whispered, so quietly you thought you hadn’t heard it but when your eyes met his you knew he’d said what you thought he had.

‘I don’t understand’

‘I don’t either really’ he laughed, sitting up taller so he could face you and you felt your heart race at what he might be saying. ‘All I know is that things have changed for me and I feel like I need you to know how I feel. It’s fine if you don’t feel it too but I’ve just been feeling these things for you for a few weeks and you’re the person I tell everything to so I feel like I’ve got to tell you now’

‘What things are you feeling?’ You asked. Wondering if you’d maybe got the wrong end of the stick but his next sentence took the breath out of your lungs.

‘Im feeling like I wanna kiss you’ he whispered, barely able to hear him but you knew what he’d said.

What?

You couldn’t speak, and by the looks of it Mason knew he had to keep speaking so you let him squeeze you hand as he word vomited everything he’d been holding in.

‘I just keep having these moments with you, like time stops and I’m in this trance and all I can focus on you and wanting you in a way I’ve never done before. Remember when we did that puzzle? You put that last piece in and you were just so happy like I swear to god all I wanted to was kiss your face off’ he laughed but you couldn’t believe what he was saying. Not sure how to react as no one had ever said anything like this to you let alone your best friend.

‘Mase I- I don’t think I-‘

‘It’s okay’ he smiled. ‘I said it’s fine if you don’t’ he smiled and even though him saying it made you feel better, you could tell he was a little embarrassed. Wondering if you should make a joke to ease the tension and as he looked away you began to speak without even thinking.

‘I know you said you weren’t in the mood for girls but you must be really desperate if you’re thinking about kissing me’ you laughed, trying to ease the tension slightly but he just smiled at you and shrugged.

‘I wouldn't go that far. But it’s honestly fine, we’ve been spending a lot of time together and I’ve probably got all mixed up. I’m sure it’s just a phase and it’ll pass’ he laughed. ‘Just forget it, it’s fine and I don’t want things to be weird’

But how could you forget?

No one in your entire existence had ever admitted having feelings for you. It was something you never thought would happen yet here was your best friend telling you he felt like he wanted to kiss you.

It was like a switch had suddenly gone off in your brain, over the coming weeks finding yourself daydreaming about kissing him too and what it might be like to be his girl. Thinking about how his hand would feel clasped in your own, his fingers linked in between yours or just how his touch would feel anywhere and everywhere on your body.

You shook yourself out of it at first, like you were waking yourself up from a nightmare and you couldn’t comprehend how your brain had conjured up such a strange image but as the days went on you basked in it. Giggling as you dreamed about all the things you could do together and how happy you could be.

The pair of you had always been platonic, and whilst lately the lines maybe had become a bit blurred as he became touchier with you with the added time you spent together, your thoughts about him lately were anything but platonic.

Everytime you shut your eyes all you could see was his soft smile and the way his eyes creased at the sides so adorably. The dimple on his cheek made your heart race and all you could think about was taking him up on his offer and planting your lips on his. It wasn’t just his smile though, it was everything. His chocolate chip eyes you wanted to drown in, his smell that made you feel like home and his arms that made you feel safer than anything else.

Everything seemed to be hitting you like a truck and you felt ridiculous. Waiting for his name to pop up on your phone constantly and the butterflies only intensified with each new message. Finding yourself sat giggling in anticipation of what he was going to say next and going to bed with a huge smile on your face every night.

You never meant to fall for him, much like he probably never meant to fall for you, but it had happened and you didn’t know what to do with yourself. Feeling like a schoolgirl with your first crush and the fact you knew it was reciprocated somewhat excited you and filled you with dread at the same time.

The more you thought about him, the sillier you started to feel. He never offered to be your boyfriend, never said anything about dates or anything extra. He’d said he wanted to kiss you, and that was it.

The words just a phase rang through your ears constantly and as the days went by you realised you didn’t want to be just a phase to him. Disappointment flooding you at him trying his best to curb his feelings whilst yours only grew for him.

You’d noticed he’d pulled back from you a little bit, trying his hardest not to talk to you every minute of the day but you didn’t let him ignore you for too long. Now you were in your feels all you could think about was him and when you might next get to see him. Not wanting to look too eager and alert him to the fact anything had changed but when he text you one evening you felt your excitement levels rise.

You decided to wear one of the dresses he’d picked out for you for your holiday and gave yourself enough time to do your makeup nicely and straighten your hair. You didn't know why you wanted to, or maybe you did, but it was the first night out where he wasn’t trying to set you up with one of his friends and you felt more relaxed about it. That was until he text you that he was on his way and you felt like throwing up.

It's like the words were stuck in his throat as soon as he saw you, frozen to the spot as you locked your door behind you and you could see him visibly gulp as he tried to shake it off and say hello to you properly.

It was one of the weirdest nights out you’d ever been on, the pair of you turning up together and he led you to your section by your hand. Once he’d found you both seats next to each other he was off to the bar to get you a drink with his eyes not leaving you for me more a few moments before he was back with you.

Things only got weirder though as he paid no attention to any of the girls looking his way, not even engaging in conversation with most of the girls the boys would introduce to him and when you tried to question him about it he just shrugged and said he wasn’t in the mood.

‘Hey y/n, have you met Ethan?’ Woody asked as he nodded someone over. A tall guy with dark hair and bright blue eyes making his way over to you and you rolled your eyes at his clear attempt to set you up with another one of his friends after you’d told him to stop but the feeling of Mason dropping your hand from under the table that made you turn away to look back at him.

He didn’t say anything, just gave you what looked like a sad smile before you had to turn back to say hello to Ethan. Woody banging on about how he came from Portsmouth just like you and Mason and how they’d gone to primary school together but now Ethan was in the Navy hence why you’d never seen him but he was back for a little while to visit.

You didn’t know what possessed you to do it, but you felt weird now Mason's hand wasn’t in yours. Looking down to see it was resting on his thigh so as carefully and as sneakily as you could you laced your fingers back through his and squeezed it gently. Not acknowledging him in any way but you could see his head snap up to look at you from the corner of your eye before his other hand fell over your clasped ones. Fiddling with your rings as the others spoke and you tried not to smile at how adorable he was being.

All the thoughts you’d had about having more with Mason that week, he was making a reality tonight. Giving you glimpses of what it might be like to to be his and how he might treat you but you were still so unsure as to what he wanted as he told you he was just a phase he was getting over so you played dumb for little.

‘You wanna dance?’ You asked him, tugging on his hand gently but he just scrunched his face up slightly.

‘I’m good, you go I’ll watch you’ he smiled and whilst the thought of him watching you dance thrilled you a little bit, you also could tell he wasn’t on his a game and looked like he didn’t even want to be there at all anymore.

‘Are you okay? You don’t seem as into it as usual’

‘I’m fine’ he shrugged ‘Dunno just not in the mood to be around loads of people i guess’

‘We can leave if you want? I mean it’s way past my bedtime anyway’

‘We can, but I’ve got one condition’ he told you with a smile, leaning closer so he could talk right in your ear and you felt every hair in your body stand to attention.

‘What’s that?’

‘Come stay at mine?’ He whispered and his offer made you freeze. ‘I’ll make you breakfast in the morning’

‘Okay’ you whispered, letting him take your hand and lead you out but you were surprised he didn’t want to say goodbye to anyone first. Only giving Woody a quick wave who gave the pair of you a look you couldn't quite make out before you were jumping in a cab back to his.

Part of you was happy he wanted to get home earlier than usual, it had been a long week and once you were changed into an oversized T-shirt of his you got settled on your side of his bed. Hazily watching him slip under the covers in just a pair of boxers as you tried to hide a smile and thankfully he didn’t catch it.

‘Go to sleep love, you look exhausted’ he laughed, tucking the duvet around you a little more tightly. ‘I’ve just got a few emails to look through okay but I’ll be quite’

‘That’s fine, Night Mase’

‘Night love’ he whispered and you turned onto your side away from him so you could get comfy and hopefully drift off soon.

Your whole body felt like a dead weight, your eyes feeling like they’d been stuck together with glue but your mind wouldn’t shut off and you knew you would be thinking about Mason and replaying most of the night you’d just spent together. Remembering the way he held your hand, held your waist and spoke directly into your ear like you were his made your spine tingle. But the memories were soon becoming warped and disfigured as your brain became tired and you eventually let the sleep take you.

You hadn't been asleep long, but the feeling of Mason's arm sliding around your waist as he cuddled up to you woke you slightly. Not enough to wake you up fully and the warmth of his body pressed against yours was already sending you back to sleep so you just went with it and let him hold you. Revelling in the soft kisses he was pressing to your shoulder as you tried not to smile but you definitely weren't ready for what was about to happen next.

‘What am I gonna do with you, eh?’ He whispered, only just loud enough for you to hear but you knew you shouldn’t be. He obviously thought you were still asleep and couldn’t hear him so you stayed as still as you could and kept your breathing steady in hopes he’d carry on. ‘I’d do absolutely anything for you, you know that? And I’m really trying to get over you but you make it so difficult’

I don’t want you to get over me was the first thought in your head but you didn’t vocalise it. You wanted him to keep talking, to see what else he could admit to your semi unconscious state and luckily enough for you he kept going.

‘I know I said it was just a phase but I’m not so sure it is now. You’re the only person who knows the real me and wants what’s best for me. I can’t get you out of my head’

You waited for more, but it never came. Soon enough his soft snores filled the room and you knew he was asleep but his admissions were enough for you. You knew how he felt, and you were pretty sure you felt the same now but you weren’t sure if you had the balls to do anything about it right now so you followed his lead and shut your eyes so you could let the sleep take you again.

Mason was still asleep when you awoke. The pair of you facing each other as you’d turned in your sleep and you used the time he was asleep just to look at him. His pouty lips and pink cheeks made your tummy flutter and after what you’d heard last night all you could think about is what to say to him this morning.

He didn’t give you too much longer to think about it though and you felt your heart thump as he stirred awake. His eyes opening softly as they latched onto yours but his expression remained unchanged asides from a small smile. Just looking back at you as you did the same to him and a sense of peace washed over you.

The pair of you were both on the edge of your own respective pillows, as close as you could be without touching one another but the moment felt intimate and you could see the love in his eyes for you as you watched each other bathed in the early morning sun. The light bringing out the golden tones in his hair and the honey hues in his eyes, it hitting you right there that your best friend was probably the most gorgeous boy you’d ever laid eyes on.

You both didn’t move for a while. Content with just looking at the person in front of you and thinking how thankful you were that you got a chance to wake up next to them and you knew this was only ending one way. You were nervous to say the least, but after everything you’d heard last night you were pretty sure you were on the same page and he’d welcome what you were about to give him.

It was you that made the first move. Not even sure as to why you did it but you lent forward slowly, watching how his body mirrored your own as you kept going and both your eyes snapped away from one another. Focusing on the others lips now and just as your hand reached out to touch his chest for a bit of support, your lips finally locked and his hand cupped your jaw immediately.

It wasn’t a soft kiss like you thought it might be, Mason stole the breath from your lungs as soon as it hit him what was happening. Pushing himself forward so he could hover over you and control the kiss a bit more but you moved your hand to the back of his head so he wouldn’t part from you.

Your tummy was erupting with butterflies, your chest heaving as he slipped his tongue in your mouth and you couldn’t help but press yourself into him further. Letting him grip your thigh as he hitched it up his body and you were quite happy to get lost in him but it was Mason that pulled back. Kissing over your cheeks until you were giggling and when he eventually pulled back his smile made your heart melt.

He was quick to settle back down next to you. Pulling your body right up against his and keeping your thigh wrapped around his waist before you felt his hand on your lower back so he could tickle your skin lightly.

‘Sorry’ you whispered, suddenly feeling embarrassed about what you’d done but his gentle smile relaxed you.

‘Don’t be, I don’t mind’ he smiled. Pecking your lips again softly and you knew you were blushing. ‘You know I’ve been wanting to kiss for a while but I didn’t wanna push things too far’ he smiled ‘and it’s not that I don’t want to ever, but I don’t want you to regret anything right now’

‘I wouldn’t have’ you whispered, watching his face soften slightly but deep down you knew it was for the best. You still didn’t know what any of this meant and it was clearly obvious to Mason you were worried as he brushed some strands of hair out of your face and gave you a sympathetic smile.

‘What is it, love? What’s on your mind’

‘I just… I’m not sure, like what does all of this mean?’ You breathed. Watching his eyes light up as you finally spoke your mind. ‘Your my best friend Mason, I don’t want to lose you’

‘You won’t’

‘But I need to know what you want. Is it just a kiss? Like are we done now?’ You laughed, trying to keep it light as it was a pretty serious conversation but the smile on his face relaxed you.

‘No, I’m definitely not done with you’ he told you sincerely. ‘I get us being friends complicates things a little bit but I’m not the guy you think I am, not anymore at least anyway and definitely not when it comes to you’

‘I feel like I’m not enough for you’ you whispered, finally addressing the elephant in the room and you could tell your words had upset him a little bit. The frown on his face was adorable but you wanted him to know how you felt no matter how awful it sounded.

‘Don’t say that’ he huffed, kissing your jaw gently. ‘Tell me why so I can tell you it’s rubbish’

‘No because what if I can’t give you everything those other girls have?’ You laughed even though you were trying to be serious. ‘Like I don't wanna be a dick but you’ve always said you’d never be a one woman guy so what’s changed. What if your eyes wander somewhere else? What do I do then?’

You didn’t mean for it to come out so abruptly but Mason knew you never minced your words and didn’t take it too badly. He knew his past and he owned it but he also knew it was his feelings for you that had changed him and he was willing to say whatever he could to get you on board.

‘Remember the day we did the puzzle together, and I said I hadn’t slept with anyone in a while cause I wasn’t in the mood? Well that wasn’t the reason. I didn't know it then fully but I hadn’t because all I wanted was you and the thought of being with anyone else made me feel weird’ he told you. His fingers delicately tracing patterns on your back as he spoke and you knew you were hanging off his every word. ‘At first I thought it was because I missed us being together and I wanted to spend more time with you, but then I wanted to spend all my time with you. My eyes aren’t gonna wander okay? They haven’t in months and why would they when you’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen’

‘You’re just saying that’ you whispered, not used to compliments like that coming from him and your instincts were to think he was lying but you could see in his eyes something had changed.

‘Don’t tell me what I think’ he teased, squeezing your sides gently. ‘I’ve always thought you were pretty, why do you think I could never understand that you were single?’

‘Mase I’ve never… I’ve never done any of this. You’re the first boy who’s ever admitted to feeling anything more than friendship with me. I don’t know what to do’

‘You don’t have to do anything, we don’t have to do anything okay? Nothing has to change. I just wanna hold you more, kiss you more maybe if that’s something you’d want’

‘I’ve never had sex’ you blurted and the confession made him chuckle. Clearly he knew this already but you just wanted him to be certain of what he was getting himself into.

‘That’s fine’ he whispered, pulling you in a little closer. ‘I know you’re scared, okay? This is different for me too. I’ve never had a proper girlfriend before, I mean I’ve dated girls and been exclusive with a couple but never got to the official stage. I’ve never wanted that from anyone but I want it from you. If that’s what you want’

‘I think I do, I’m just…’

‘What?’ He whispered, a look of love and reassurance on his face and you felt your eyes sting at how safe you felt with him.

‘I’m fucking terrified’ you laughed. ‘I know I’ve been trying to find someone but I never thought it would be you’

‘Well I didn’t think I’d fall for you either’ he winked before placing a soft kiss to your lips that made you melt into the sheets. ‘We don’t have to stick a big label on it or anything, we can just hang out like we have been and see what comes natural to us okay? And if it’s sex your worried about then I don’t care about waiting’

‘I don’t wanna be bad for you’

‘You won’t be, not when you’ve got me for a teacher anyway’ he joked and you rolled your eyes before his face got serious. ‘I know you’re scared but you know you can trust me don't you? I wanna be the one to show you, to make you feel good. I wanna be the one you trust to show you how good it can be’ he whispered and you felt your skin tingle all over at his words. ‘But we’ll wait until you’re ready cause there’s a million things we need to do before we get there’

‘So I’m not just a phase then?’

‘Not at all’ he laughed, ‘and I never thought you were. I could just tell you didn’t feel the same when I told you how I felt and I was trying to make you feel better’ He’d explained. ‘I couldn't go three weeks without you, gorgeous. And I knew I’d fucked up the next day but I was too much of a dick to do anything about it until I couldn’t cope without you anymore’

‘So.. you’re looking for a relationship then?’ You asked, wanting everything out on the table so you could both be certain about what was going on and you watched his face soften at you as he bit his lip nervously.

‘I wasn’t, you know I’ve never cared about that stuff but you’ve made me care. I want to do all that stuff with you. I’m done messing people around okay I just want you’

‘I want you too’ you whispered, finally admitting it out loud and you felt the weight of the world lift off of you.

‘Yeah? I thought you didn’t’

‘So did I, but ever since you told me how you felt I haven’t been able to stop thinking about us. Its like you tapped into this weird part of my brain that thinks about you in ways I never have before’

‘You’ve finally fallen victim to my mind control’ he teased and you only had a second to smile before his lips were on yours again. Hot and heavy as you wrapped yourselves around each other and you realised kissing Mason was better than you ever imagined. You just hoped you could somehow make him feel the same one day but when Mason pulled back and rested his forehead on yours, his eyes told you all you needed to know.

‘So if you’ve never had sex and never had a boyfriend, was that your first kiss?’ He asked quizzically, a spark of hope in his eyes that he could kiss you like no one else had but unfortunately you had to burst his bubble just a tiny bit.

‘You’d think it would be but no it wasn’t’ you giggled and he looked at you in deep confusion. ‘You remember Scott from school? Scott Grey?’ You asked and he nodded his head in confusion. ‘Well technically he was my first kiss’

‘You what?’

‘Oh yeah’ you laughed, laying on your back as he pushed you back slightly and you could see the jealousy written all over his face. 'He took me round the back of the science building after school once to show me his new tamagotchi. Asked if I’d liked to be its mum before planting one on me and then never spoke to me again’

‘Why didn’t you tell me? I would have kicked his dick off’ he told you, brows pinched as you could tell how annoyed he was with him but you were quick to hold his face and kiss his nose.

‘First of all, no you wouldn’t have. He was twice your size and his dad was on the school board so you could have been kicked out. And secondly I never told you cause you’ve never asked’

‘I’ve been pretty rubbish haven’t I’ he huffed, it suddenly hitting him that he simultaneously knew everything about you but also nothing at all but the way you stroked his cheek let him know everything was okay.

‘If it makes you feel any better, you were my first proper kiss. I’ve never kissed anyone like that before’

‘That does make me feel better’ he chuckled. Getting himself settled next to you again before he pulled you into his chest. ‘What about dates?’

‘I’ve been on a couple’

‘When was the last one?’

‘Like two months ago? A few days after we had our big argument’

‘What?’ He laughed, tickling your sides until you giggled but you fought him off eventually.

‘After I called you a dick and left the club that night, Olivia took me to a party at some guys from works house. I got talking to one of his friends and we went out on a date a few days after but it was actually me that wasn’t feeling it and I told him I didn't see things going anywhere’

‘What was wrong with him?’ He asked quietly but that was the issue. There was nothing wrong with him at all.

‘Just didn’t feel what I thought I should have felt you know?’ You whispered and you saw Mason nod gently with a smile on his lips. ‘I know I’ve never been in that situation or felt those things before but I told myself when I did eventually find someone I wouldn’t settle for just anyone. I want fireworks and warmth and all those things you read about’

‘Do you feel it now?’ He whispered, his eyes searching your face erratically almost as if he was scared of your answer but little did he know he had no reason to be.

‘I do, yeah’

The relieved breath that fell from Mason's lips made you smile wider than you had in a while. His own face mirroring yours just as he planted another heavy kiss on your lips before trailing his kissed down your jaw and neck and you knew you had to try and distract him before you both ended up in a compromised position.

‘Mason?’ You gasped, hearing him chuckle against your skin and even though he stopped his attack with his lips you felt him nestle into you with a content hum that made you pull him in closer.

‘Yes love?’ He spoke against your neck, the vibrations travelling over every inch of your skin and you had to hold in your gasp at the feel of it.

‘You promised me breakfast’ you whispered and that was all it took for him to pull up and look at you with his usual cheeky smile.

‘I did, didn't I’ he laughed. Gently brushing a few strands of hair out of your face. ‘How do pancakes sound?’

‘It sounds like you want me to make breakfast’ you pouted, watching him nod at you enthusiastically before he was trying his hardest to pull you away from the warmth and safety of the duvet.

‘I love how you get me. Come on, I’ll assist you’ he confirmed and you didn’t have it in you to argue. Letting him pull you up so you could stand in front of him and when you felt his hands dangerously low on your back you smiled up at him cheekily. ‘Thank you for giving me a shot, I know I don’t deserve one’

‘You better make it worth my while then, Mount’ you teased but no more words needed to be said. You could see it in his eyes he was ready to make things as good for the pair of you as he could so you let him lead you downstairs by the hand to start the next part of your journey together.

Well done if you made it 🤭 thank you so so much for reading and I’d love some feedback if you fancy it 😘 xxx

[barcaatthemoon]

she keeps me warm || lia walti x reader ||

lia takes you home after you make your triumphant return to the lionesses.

minors dni, 18+, smut ahead.

as a proud lioness, you had a tough year. it was like every single time that you played, the team lost. you were supposed to be their miracle player, the one who came back from a career ending injury. instead, you felt like you came back only to play like absolute shit. and still, sarina and your teammates kept pulling you back in every single time you tried to turn away.

"gold looks good on you," lucy said as the two of you stood in line next to each other. you found yourself in between lucy and leah in the lineup. they were both a great comfort for you to be around. lucy had always been the player you'd looked up to coming up in camp. leah was one of your best friends, a presence that you had felt from the beginning when you were both in the arsenal academy.

"it's been a long time since i've won anything. i don't think i remember," you told her. lucy put her hand on your back and rubbed your shoulders.

"then let's remind you and all of them what they've been missing. maybe you can show off a bit for your little girlfriend," lucy said. you blushed at the idea of lia watching you in the stands. she was with your family, donning one of your club jerseys. you wanted to see her so badly, but she had been adamant that you needed your own space to focus.

you had hoped to see lia from the goal, but it was no use. your eyesight had admittedly been going a bit, so you couldn't see the way you used to. it didn't affect your goalkeeping much, but you were a bit sad about not being able to see lia or your family in the stands. however, you knew that lia's eyes weren't going to be leaving the goal, so you put on the performance of your life.

it was like you took every comment about how you couldn't make it back to your top form as fuel to help prove yourself. the crowd was on the edge of their seats as you took your place back as the commander of england's backline. you had been waiting nearly a year to take your place back, and today, you were certain that they'd mark this the day of your comeback.

"i know how big this is for you, but don't celebrate too hard mate. remember who's up there waiting for you," leah said as she clapped her hands on your shoulders. leah never seemed to be sure where you stood on hugs, so she opted to wait around like she did for keira. you grabbed her wrists and pulled her arms around you.

"we've missed you," lucy told you as she joined in on the hug. you were quickly surrounded by your teammates and being hailed as the hero of the tournament in their eyes. you had only really played the final and a couple of games that the team had lost when you first got back from injury, but they saw the work you put in the improve.

congratulations went around, as did a few drinks, before you went to see lia. she was easy for you to spot in the crowd. your arsenal jersey was a bit loose on her, and she had to be absolutely dying in the heat, but you loved seeing her in your clothes. you felt your heart skip a beat as she turned to you with your nephew in her arms, the toddler clinging to lia just like you did.

"bet you feel like a dunce for being so nervous," your younger brother teased. you tried to reach out and hit him, but your parents quickly put a stop to that.

"not in front of the babies," your mother warned the two of you. both of you looked down at the ground as you mumbled your apologies. "you played lovely today, deary. you've just got to come up home, they're gonna throw a celebration for you at the end of the week at the fish shop."

"i'll be up there mummy," you promised. lia handed your nephew back to your younger brother, the boy whining as you took his spot. you stuck your tongue out at him, laughing as he started huffing and kicking his legs.

"be nice," lia mumbled as she pecked your cheek. "are you going out with the girls tonight?"

"god no, i'm saving my party energy for the fish shop. they get wild there, i'm sure some of the girls will want to come along when i tell them," you told lia. as much as you loved a night out in london, it wasn't the same as bar hopping around in your hometown.

"you can go out. you don't have to stay in because of me," lia said. you leaned forward and pressed your forehead against hers.

"i want to go back home with you. do you know how stupid it feels to be in the city you live in and not be in your own home?" you asked lia. she laughed at the clear look of genuine annoyance on your face. "let me get cleaned up and then take me home?"

"of course, take your time baby. there's no rush, i can go down and congratulate some of our teammates," lia said. you smiled gratefully at her as you raced off to the showers.

…

"i see you redecorated a bit," you said as you pulled lia through your apartment. she hadn't put many things up despite some flowers and mood lighting, well aware that if you did decide that you wanted to bring things to the bedroom, you'd go straight there.

"i also put the nice sheets on the bed," lia told you. you let out a playful gasp, laughing as you picked lia up and carried her over to the bed. lia kept her arms and legs wrapped tight around your body, taking you down to the bed with her.

"whoa!" you exclaimed. lia had rolled you onto your back, pinning you down against the bed beneath her body. you let out a nervous chuckle, something that you always did in this sort of position. lia thought it was adorable that no matter how many times the two of you went to bed together, you always got bashful when she took charge.

"relax, let me take care of you. you've earned yourself quite the reward," lia said. she leaned down and peppered your face in kisses. each of them tickled a little until she reached your mouth. you had been smiling and laughing, and lia took the opportunity to slip her tongue into your mouth.

you moaned into the kiss as lia pressed her leg in between yours. everybody always looked at the two of you and expected for you to be the one to push things. they would have been sorely disappointed to learn how wrong they were. you were loud and demanding on the pitch, so it was nice to let go and listen in the bedroom.

"i am so proud of you," lia muttered in between kisses. you focused more on the vibration of her voice against your skin. she had her hands resting on your sides at the top of your ribcage. your shirt was pushed up, revealing your stomach and a few of the faded marks from the last time you had seen lia.

"i wanted to play good for you," you told her. lia's lips curled into a smile. she pushed your shirt up the rest of the way to reveal that you hadn't put a bra back on. you sat up just enough to pull it over your shoulders and throw it onto the ground away from the bed.

"you've been working so hard. i want you to completely relax for me. just let me know when you've had enough," lia said. she waited with her hands hovering over the waistband of your shorts for you to reply. with your consent, lia began to tug your pants down, pulling your underwear along with them.

lia licked her lips as she saw your body splayed out on the bed. there had been a quickie before lia's team was knocked out of the competition, but you hadn't been with lia in what felt like forever. it wasn't that you were addicted to having sex with lia, but you had allowed yourself to get used to being with her at least a few times a week.

"my gorgeous, gorgeous girl," lia whispered against your skin. you followed the trail of her hands with your eyes, only allowing them to flutter shut when she reached the apex of your thighs. lia had you spread out completely beneath her, open and waiting for her to make a move.

you were wet, something that lia could see before she touched you. the excitement from a good game always got you going like absolutely nothing else. your body was physically on edge from the adrenaline, which made you practically twice as responsive to lia's touch. that was her favorite time to tease you, especially when it came with away games and you were just stuck next to her on the bus for a few hours.

"i can't get enough of you," lia told you. she kept a constant gentle praise as her fingers stroked you. lia worked slowly, building you up until you were practically dripping before she slipped a single finger inside of you. you wanted to scream in frustration, but you trusted whatever lia was planning to do to you.

one finger was added to the slow and shallow thrusts, slowly and gently stretching you. lia began to go a little deeper, curling her fingers just where she knew that you liked it. the penetration was enough to have you rutting your hips as you tried to chase your orgasm. lia let you move around, assuming that you had energy to burn still.

"that's it, let me hear you," lia instructed. she dipped her head down, adding her tongue to the mix. lia knew just how to get you screaming without having to physically exhaust both of you in the process. in lia's mind, your body was easy. she had studied it night after night for months now. she spent every moment that she had with you trying to memorize every little detail about you.

"lia, i want to cum. can i cum, please?" tonight wasn't the kind of night where lia would make you beg, but it didn't feel right not to ask first. lia was always a little sweeter with you whenever you did things like seek her permission out. this was no different, and lia kept you on a steady build before giving you her permission.

"cum for me. i want to see you soak the sheets," lia told you. her words were absolutely filthy compared to the sweet and gentle way that lia handled you. she was with you every step of the way. she helped you through the high and was there to keep you steady when the effects of it started to wear off. "if you'd like to go again, we can. i just need to get some things first."

"no, stay right here. i just want to hold you for a minute," you told her. lia moved up to lay in your arms, but not before she kicked her shorts off. she was left in just her underwear and your jersey, which you would have paid anything to get to see every single night of your life.

"you're staring," lia told you. she had been in your arms for nearly two minutes with you just staring down at her. lia expected you to zone out a bit, but she didn't think you'd be that out of it. "do i need to order food now?"

"only if you can do it from bed, but if you have to get up to do it…" you trailed off as you started to play with your hands. lia grabbed your hands and pulled your attention back up to her. "can you take a picture for me? i think i need a new home screen."

"for your eyes only." lia straddled you and placed your phone in your hand. she positioned herself on top of you, allowing for you to get a much better picture than you had expected. "you can just owe me one until i get a few things."

"deal."

[yarasdead]

𓂃 ࣪˖ ִֶָ𐀔 CYBER SEX.

bomens m.list longhaired!gamer!noah x fem!reader

summary. you promised noah you'd be a good girl as long as he lets you cockwarm him, you have other ideas. wc. 3.1k

―︎ warnings. 18+. smut (mdni). bratty & whiny!reader. big dick noah. cockwarming. grinding. hair pulling (both m & f receiving). spanking. brat taming. choking. mean!noah. degradation. derogatory terms (slut. & whore). use of sir (one time). missionary. back shots. pet names (the guys call her baby & sweetheart). spitting. slight anal play. voyeurism. not proofread!

𐙚 ‧₊ ⋅ a message from yara. i hope you guys enjoy this! this is my first ever full oneshot and i'm so excited to get it out for you all to read and enjoy ^.^ as always reblogs and feedback are welcomed!!!

“WHERE ARE YOU GOING?”

Watching as Noah gets up from his spot next to you on the bed.

“Gonna get on with the guys.”

“Do you have to?” You ask. Perking up from your spot on the bed, observing Noah as he’s already sat in his gaming chair and turning on his PC.

“It’s not gonna be for long, baby. Jus’ a few hours.”

“You always say that and then you end up playing for the entire night.” You scoff.

Noah turns around in his chair. “Are you going to be bratty all night? Because y’know we can't have that.” Noah warns.

He turns around before giving you a chance to answer, and you're left feeling desperate after seeing him manspread in his chair. You can't help but think how his lap looks really empty.

Getting up from the bed you make your way over to Noah’s set up. Standing at the side of the chair, watching for a moment to see his fingers working quickly to set up whatever game he and the guys were going to play. Also taking note of the fact that Noah has yet to join a call with them so it gives you the perfect opportunity to ask what you want.

“Can I cock warm you?”

Noah stills, slightly turning his body so he could look at you. Looking you up and down, you look ready for bed, your body is freshly clean, face washed and skincare done, and you're in one of his shirts. You're fiddling with the hem of your his shirt with anticipation of what he'll say. His gaze makes it back up to your face, you're pouting a little and you're giving him big eyes.

“Are you going to be good?”

“Yes, I will.”

“I mean it. I’m going to be in a call with the guys, so I need you to be quiet and do exactly what you just asked me to do. Be quiet and keep my cock warm.”

You swallow at his words. “I promise I’ll be good.”

Noah sighs. Pulling back a little to make room for you. “C’mon.”

You smile big at him. Reaching from under your shirt to shimmy out of your panties. By the time you're out of them, Noah already has his semi hard length out in his fist. He takes his hand out for you to grab on to get on top of his lap. Climbing on top you use his shoulder as support as you lower yourself down on him, the two of you both sharing groans when he bottoms out.

"So warm 'n tight." He whispers.Pulling you further into him, so you're fleshed against his chest, resting your head in the crook of his neck.

“Comfortable?”

“Very.”

Noah rubs up and down your back as he sets the game up more, taking his headphones to put them on, making sure he doesn't disturb you much.

“I’m about to join the call. So you know what that means?”

“Be quite.”

“Good.” He leaves a kiss on your cheek at your response. Content to be able to play his game while being inside of you.

You're not content at all. You thought you would be, that simply having his cock inside of you would hold you over until he's done. But you don't think it can last. Trying to get his attention by tapping on him, even whispering his name as quietly as you can, but he pays you no mind. Too engrossed by the game and whatever conversation he's having with the guys.

You try to get his attention by slightly moving your hips, but even then one of Noah’s hands momentarily leaves his mouse or keyboard to grip at your hip to still you, a warning as to not act up.

You sigh deeply, not realizing that it was loud enough for the guys to hear, and through Noah’s headset you hear them asking if that's you.

“Yeah, she's sitting right next to me watching me play. Said she wanted to watch me play and now she's complaining” Noah says, playing it off by telling a lie.

Yet another warning he's giving you to behave.

You really could care less though. You're so worked up that all you want is for Noah to fuck you, even if he has to do it as a punishment.

You start out tame. Taking Noah’s pretty long hair and playing with it for a little bit, allowing your hand to wander to the back of his head and yank. You pull his hair, a deep groan leaves his mouth. He once again plays it off by lying about how he died in the game looking straight at you as he says it.

He mouths. “Don't be a fucking brat.”

You roll your eyes at him. Mouthing, “Or what?”

Your response makes him shake his head. Placing both hands on the arm rest of the chair to reposition himself, purposely bucking his hips up to give you a taste of your own medicine.

And did you love it. You're body arching into him and gripping tightly onto his shirt, eyes screwed shut.

It isn't until you open your eyes that you're eye to eye with the little microphone attached to his headset again, that you think of the perfect idea. There's only so many lies that Noah can make about your noises.

Moving your hands in between your bodies, your hands wander under your shirt and caress up and down your body. Reaching for the hem of your shit you pull it over your head. Your naked body on view for Noah.

“Put it back on.” He mouths, gritting his teeth through his words.

You try to suppress your smile with a pout. “It's hot.” You mouth, shrugging your shoulders. Maintaining eye contact as you touch your body again, playing with your breast.

Noah clenches his jaw as he watches you, he's not going to let you win and just continue being a brat. So, if you want to act all slutty to get his attention you can, he'll just do the one thing you hate the most. Ignoring you.

You're once again face to face with his stupid headphones and that stupid microphone. If this doesn't make him fuck you then you don't know what will.

Continuing to nead at your breast you let out a breathy moan when you pinch and tweak at your nipples. grinding down onto Noah, pushing your body further into his and whimpering into his mic.

Noah says your name in a warning tone.

Smirking when you can hear the guys in the call asking if that was really you, deciding to put on a show for them.

Sneaking your hand between Noah and your body you start to draw circles over your clit, moaning into the mic once more.

“Noah’s being mean guys. Hmpf- he won't fuck me.”

You hear multiple groans coming from them on the call. But it wasn't what you said that made Noah snap, it must've been something one of the guys said in the call.

“I've got a slut to handle guys. Keep playing, I'll be on later, jus’ gotta put her in her place.” Noah explains.

He yanks off his headset onto the desk. You bite your lip at his hard gaze, he's once again looking you up and down. Taking in your figure on top of him. His hands find their way to your body raking up and down it, a hand finds home on your waist while the other ghost over your breast and straight to the base of your neck.

“You promised you'd be a good girl.”

“‘M sorry.”

Noah's grip tightens around your neck.

“Don't lie. You're not sorry. If you were sorry you would've stopped after I warned you and not moan into my mic like a slut in heat.”

You clench around him at his hand around your neck and his words. You're so painfully turned on that you think you're going to explode if Noah doesn't fuck you soon.

“Noah.” You whine.

“What? Is this not what you wanted?”

You stare back at him with hazy eyes.

His grip momentarily tightens more before going back to his pressure before. “Answer me. And you better not fucking lie or I will pull you off and leave you begging for this cock.”

“It is what I wanted. But-”

Noah’s grip moves from your neck up to your jaw, pulling you into him. Squishing your face into your hand so there's nowhere to look, but into his eyes.

“I don't want to hear it. You’re going to behave and take everything I give you, like the slut you are. Do you understand?”

“Yes, Sir.” You squeak out.

Noah hums, giving you a quick kiss on the forehead before releasing you from his grasp. His hand that was on your jaw falls to your thigh and wraps around it. He begins to get up, bringing you with him. You bring your arms around his neck, and Noah begins to bounce you on his cock.

“This what you wanted?” He asked.

Your body falling lip against his, finally getting what you wanted all this time and relying on him to keep both you and him upright as he bounces you.

Noah starts to thrust, the bounces and thrust meeting each other so his cock reaches right where you need him.

Curling your toes at the please Noah’s giving you, gripping tight onto his shirt.

He can tell that you're close by the way you're clenching him, so tight that you're practically sucking him in.

“Gonna come, already?”

The sound that leaves you is embarrassing, laying your head onto Noah’s shoulder. You're sure that you're leaving nail marks on Noah’s back despite the barrier of his shirt between your nails and his skin.

“Go on, come. Come on my cock like the cock hungry slut you are.”

His thrust matching the way he has you bounce on him and his words sends you into overdrive, squeezing your eyes shut at the sensation. A string of moans fall from your mouth as you come around his cock.

The thrusting doesn't flatter as you come down from your high. Noah walked the two of you over to his desk, placing you on it so your ass is hanging off the edge of it. You have no choice put to place your hands on the table at the speed Noah is fucking you. Mouth falling agape as you feel yourself getting closer again.

“No- Noah it’s too much.” You say, extending a hand to attempt to push him away.

“You can handle it.” He grunts, paying no mind to your pathetic attempt to push him away, his grip tightening on your hips.

Noah looks in between your bodies at your pussy sucking him back in with each stroke, dimming his thrust to watch as you leave a white rim of your previous release around his cock before he plunges back in.

Groaning at the sight. “Fuck. This pussy was made for me. Look, look at how she sucks me in.”

Noah pulls you in closer by the hand that's still attempting to push him away. Folding your body so you'd be able to see the way you're taking him. The sight is obscene.

“That’s all you, baby, makin’ that mess. Haven't even come in you yet.”

Your mouth falls open even more, looking up at him through your lashes.

“Gonna come, again?”

“Uh huh.”

“Wish you could see her, so fucked out she's gone dumb.”

You furrow your brows at him. You've already seen how you're taking him, so who is he talking to?

Your question is forgotten as Noah begin to rub circles at your clit. Too focused on reaching your high once more. Hands flinging from the table to use Noah’s body as support.

“Please, please.” Is all you could mumble out, body tensing as you come. Moments later you hear Noah grunt out curses, his own body tensing and his thrust becoming rigid as he unloads deep inside of your cunt.

You close your eyes in content, panting from the two back to back orgasms.

The fullness leaving you makes you open your eyes, his gaze on your spent pussy. He doesn't look at you as he takes your waist in his hands, turning you around so your chest is flesh against the desk.

“Noah, wha-” Gasping at the feeling of Noah shoving his fingers into your cunt.

“You were dripping. Can't waste a drop ‘n don't want you getting the floors dirty.” He says, justifying his act of stuffing the mix of yours and his come back into you.

Taking his fingers from out of you, he grabs a handful of hair, arching you back into him. The fingers that were inside of you now pressed against your plush lips, you didn't need him to tell you to open up, you immediately opened your mouth enough for them to slip in and got to sucking on them.

“Do we taste good?”

Moaning around his fingers to answer his question. Trying your best to suck all the arousal off of Noah’s fingers the best you could given the angle. Releasing your hair from his fist to deliver harsh smacks on either cheek.

You can feel Noah press himself up against you, his tip teasing your entrance.

Squirming, you look back, giving him big eyes.

“Think you can take some more?”

He removes his fingers from your mouth. “I-”

“You what?”

“I- don't think I can.”

Noah shakes his head. “Oh, but I think you can. So, you're gonna take it.”

And with that he enters you again, balls deep. Letting out a broken moan, head falling onto the desk, feeling helpless as Noah pumps in and out of you.

Being face first with his set up makes you lightheaded, the bleeding colors into one another of his keyboard and mouse illuminating your face. You wonder how all of his stuff is staying put with the power of his thrust making your body bounce against the desk.

Taking your hands from off the desk and holding them behind your back. Noah bends down to talk into your ear, slowing his thrust.

“Think you should give them a formal hello.” He suggest, head tilting towards the headset on the table.

Oh.

That's who he was talking to. They've been here the whole time, and you can't help but clench around Noah as you think about how they've head you getting your brains fucked by that.

“You like that? You like having them listen to you be a slut for my cock?”

“Mm, y-yes.”

You can hear them now, they must've been not talking at all before this.

“Hi, guys.”

It makes you smile to hear them all say hi back to you under these circumstances.

“Been enjoying the show, boys?” Noah ask, loud enough for them to hear.

A string of “yes's” and hums comes from the head set.

“10/10 show!” Folio remarks.

The giggle you let out turns into a moan when Noah picks up the pace.

“You sound pretty, baby.” Jolly compliments.

They all agree along with him.

“Not even getting shy with us here.” Matt adds.

“‘Cause she likes it. Squeezing the fuck out of me right now.”

“Aw, bet baby is already close.” Nick teases.

“Jus’ couldn't wait to get fucked, could you, sweetheart?” Folio ask.

“Nu huh. It’s- it's so good.” You respond, feeling yourself starting to get close.

“Are you happy now that Noah is fucking you good, baby?” Matt ask.

“Fills m’up good.”

“God, Noah. You've got her fucked dumb.” Matt laughs.

Your senses are overstimulated from the guys’ words and Noah. Just Noah alone gets you overstimulated. How he's so big and takes so much of your space, the strokes he's delivering, the way he compels you so much that you're meeting his thrust by grinding back on him. The feeling of his hands on your burning body, a hand making its way to your head, pushing your face close to the headset.

“You're gonna apologize to them for ruining our game. If they accept I'll let you come, if they don't I'll finish in you and you won't come at all.”

You swallow down any saliva collecting in your mouth as well as your pride and the potential tears of frustration if they don't accept your apology.

“‘M sorry- I- ruined your guys’ game.” Unable to say the entire apology without panting in between words.

You anticipate what they'll say.

“I accept your apology, baby.” Nick is the first to accept.

The rest of them followed.

Letting out a sigh of relief at their responses. “Thank you.” You mewl out.

Noah brings his hand to your jaw once more, pressing against your back. “You get off easy this time.” He whispers in your ear.

Releasing your jaw from his grasp, sitting up straight he goes back to pounding into you. Giving your ass spanks, kneading at the stinging skin afterwards.

“You're lucky you've got them wrapped around your finger.” He remarks.

Squirming into him when you feel him spit onto your hole, a thumb collecting the spit, prodding at the hole.

“Should've fucked your ass raw. Would've like that?”

You can't even process his words at this point. Fucked stupid that all you can do is moan and whine for him while you listen to the various praise and tease his friends give you.

“Go ahead and come. I know your close.”

And almost on command you exhale a loud moan. Body falling limp against the desk. Your fluttering walls tighten around Noah’s cock as it send him over the edge. Taking two handfuls of your ass he buries himself deep when he unloads inside of you.

His head falls onto your sweaty back, his lips ghosting your shoulder blade before leaving a trail of kisses on it up your neck and jaw.

He reaches for his headset, pulling it back over his ears. “Shows over, boys.” Was all he said before he exited out of the call.

His cock is still buried in you, and you're more than happy to keep it that way. Noah leaves a kiss on your head, hands smoothing up and down your sides.

“You did really good, baby. Real proud of you.”

Your heart flutters at his praise. Turning your head over your shoulder to look at him, giving him a lazy smile before you pucker your lips. Noah of course delivers you with a passionate kiss.

Whatever the guys said, you'd have to personally thank them for it.

[vigilskeep]

Oooh could you elaborate on your feeling about Aveline? (Nobody really talks about her)

i think aveline is on paper really quite an interesting character because of her bizarre worldview, in which “rightfully stolen” property counts as a real claim, her guards are people she needs to protect rather than make protect others, and she truly believes herself to be the long-suffering lawful character when first thing after rolling up in kirkwall you can ask her to pull a knife on a merchant so you can get a job smuggling

however on a personal level i find her pretty grating, and her unshakeable belief that she is always in the right even more so. what doesn’t help is the lack of narrative consequences for her corruption (having failed to do her duty for the elves at the end of act 2 who were forced to turn to murder for justice and the qun for safety, because one of aveline’s guards went unpunished for raping their sister) or her inaction (openly making fun of emeric’s three-year investigation into quentin’s murders as soon as it caused her inconvenience, and asking hawke to get rid of the annoyance for her, while the murderer went on to kill hawke’s mother, for which aveline angrily refuses to take any responsibility). it’s almost impossible to make her leave the party at the end of the game, and the only way to really affect her state of mind is to not get her a husband, which in itself is a pretty sexist and dismissive thing for her story to be based around rather than the issues of morality and justice at hand, making her personal quests hard to engage with

sometimes i try to to take her around more, to learn more about her. but i find the entire experience pretty disheartening and usually give up quickly. frankly she’s very judgemental and i don’t like the way she talks to me or my friends

[martinmuhl]

• rivals? (part 2)

pair: kate martin x reader

warnings: SMUT !! minors DNI!

summary: you and kate had been rivals since high school and kate’s finally had enough

authors note: the long awaited part 2! i’ve never written smut before so i did my best lol don’t be too hard on me!! hope you enjoy :)

a few weeks later, kate martin was standing in front of you during warmups. you couldn’t take your eyes off of her. you knew that no matter how this game turned out, everything would change between the two of you. at first you weren’t sure if she had even remembered or cared about what had happened in the iowa locker room weeks prior. your confusion quickly faded though when in the first quarter, she looked at you and said, “good luck y/n, hope you saved some of that hatred for me tonight.”

the game ran smoothly, you guarding her all night and making quick comments to each other. your team ended up beating iowa by 3 points and you were wondering if kate would even be in the mood to see you now. taking off your shoes and quickly changing out of your jersey, you hear the door to your own locker room open and close. you turned around, seeing that you were the only one in the locker room until kate steps right in front of you.

“good game out there.” was all she said.

“thanks… uh you too.” you stuttered, suddenly feeling really nervous with all of her attention on you. you couldn’t even look at her when suddenly you feel her finger tips on your chin, pushing your head up to look at her.

“don’t think i forgot about what i said. i will handle you tonight… if you still want that of course.” she said, stepping closer to you. all you could do was nod, a vibrant blush spreading through your cheeks.

“don’t get all shy on me now, y/n. meet me at my hotel room in an hour, i’ll kick caitlin out. i’ll text you the address.” she says with a smirk, stepping back and exiting the locker room. you felt a pit of heat in your stomach thinking about what would happen in an hour. one thing you knew for sure though was that you weren’t this shy girl who was going to let kate off easy, you were going to make her handle you as hard as that was.

exactly an hour later, with the address kate texted you, you stood outside of her hotel room. right as you were about to knock, the door swung open revealing caitlin clark. she wore a smug smile as she looked at you. “hey y/n, what a surprise. take it easy on my girl, we still need her for the rest of the season.” she joked as she headed down the hall. laughing, you turned and saw kate in the doorway now, beckoning you to come in.

“i was nervous you wouldn’t show up.” she said, scratching the back of her neck.

“guess i just wanted to see if you could handle me as well as you say you can.” you shrugged, take a seat on the bed.

“you really want to do this with me? because after this everything will change and we both know that.” she asked, walking towards you. she now stood in between your legs, looking down at all.

“i want this more than you know.” you said, resting your hands on the back of her legs. on cue, she leaned down and kissed you. this was everything you had ever wanted, even if you hadn’t always known it. god, was she a good kisser.

standing you up to meet her level, kate pushed you back on the bed, crawling on top of you. “just so you know, i still hate you.” you said, in between kisses. she laughed and started taking off your shirt, then hers. she couldn’t keep her hands off of you, running them up and down your waist. you couldn’t help but arch your back at her touch. as she trailed kisses down your stomach, you moaned knowing what was coming next. she slid your shorts off, then your underwear.

“if hating me gets you this wet, i dont want you to ever stop.” she said, looking up at you before finding your clit and latching on. your back shot off the bed as you whimpered out, “fuck you.” she chuckled at this, continuing to circle her tongue around your clit, before inserting a finger into you. you moaned feverishly and cried out that you were close. her speed becoming faster as she kept on thrusting into you, hitting the right spot over and over again.

“kate i can’t take it anymore,” you whimpered, tugging on her hair.

“yes, you fucking can and you will,” she said, pulling her mouth away from your clit, but continuing to pump her fingers in and out of you. you could feel tears forming as your legs began to shake. finally giving you permission to come, her lips found your clit again as you rode out of your orgasm. you were panting now as she pulled out of you and hovered over you, planting a soft kiss on your mouth.

kate began to gather up your clothes, as you sat up. “are you not going to let me return the favor?” you were hungry for her. she stopped and smirked at you.

“next time.” was all she said.

“so there will be a next time?” you asked, feeling a swell in your heart and stomach.

she climbed back on the bed with you, kissing you slowly with more passion than before. “do you still hate me?” kate asked, cocking her head. you smiled and nodded.

“then there will be as many next times as it takes until i fuck all that out of you.”

[jenomi]

"i don't think i'll come to the campfire tonight" you say leaning against your roommate's doorframe.

"noo why?" your roommate and best friend cries as she sets down her makeup brush to grab your hand.

"i'm just feeling really tired from work and need a night in" you reply swinging your connected hands, "let everyone know that i'll be at the next one."

"alright fine cuz I know how long this week has been for you, but we all know a certain someone is going to be disappointed" your roommate teases.

you could only blush in response. a part of you hoped deep down that haechan would miss you at the campfire tonight, and you wanted to pull yourself together to see him but you know your own limits. you knew you wouldn't be great company tonight.

you met haechan through friends of your roommate. ever since you had moved into this new apartment, you and your roommate had decided to start hosting small get togethers with close friends at the communal outdoor area. this space had games like ping pong and pool and a campfire area. you had met haechan at another friend's party and grew close as you continued to see him at other functions.

you definitely played a role in how close haechan got with you as you would seek him out at parties and want to spend time with him. occasionally, the two of you would step out to get some fresh air and fall into deep, yet comfortable, conversation with each other. you started to grow fond of him and send messages to him with memes that you thought he'd like or message him to join you for some coffee or lunch.

it was only when your roommate called you out that you realized you liked haechan more than a friend. all the times you would bring him up, how you would always look for him in a crowded room at parties, how you're always giggling when texting or calling him. it made you shy to admit it, but it was true. you weren't sure how he felt about you, though. your roommate had tried to tell you multiple times that your feelings were reciprocated but you thought he was hard to read. nonetheless, you were pretty confident that he only saw you as a friend, so you felt discouraged seeing him and pining after him.

so there was a small sense of relief in how you wouldn't have to see him tonight and feel hopeless. what a way to beat you when you're already down.

an hour later, your roommate heads downstairs to meet up with the others and help start the campfire. haechan shows up an hour late as usual, and the first thing he notices is your absence.

"hey y/rm/n, where's y/n?" haechan asks almost immediately.

a smirk spreads across your roommate's face before she replies, "she's upstairs. she's had a long week so she's burnt out."

haechan nods in response. he wanted to see you, but he also didn't want to overstep. he also felt disappointed in himself. how had he miss the signs? he had been texting and calling you all week, and he never noticed that you were tired.

"you should go up and see her. i'm sure she won't mind." your friend says as haechan is deep in thought. "really? are you sure?" haechan asks, a little too eagerly. "yea she was bummed she couldn't make it. she's probably really lonely up there."

haechan doesn't need to ask again. he quietly slips out of the group and heads towards your floor. he nervously rings your doorbell. you groan as you throw off your blankets and get up off the couch. your eyes widen in shock as you open the door to your crush, haechan.

"hyuck?" you say dumbfoundedly "how could you not tell me you’re burnt out?” he demands making his way into your apartment. "okay come on in” you mumble.

as he takes off his jacket, you become hyperaware at the fact that you're in your pajamas, bare-faced, with messy hair. little did you know, haechan loved seeing you like this. naturally beautiful.

“i wish you’d told me you’re tired. i would’ve come earlier to cheer you up and brought your favorite food” “i didn’t want to bother you?” you’re still confused at his reaction and sudden appearance. “why are you nagging me right now?” “you know i only come to these things to see you. imagine my surprise to see you weren’t there”

he only comes to see you?

“what?”

haechan takes a step closer to you. “i care for you y/n. i wish you had told me you weren’t feeling well”

you were shocked at his words. he cares for you? he wants to take care of you?

haechan must see the confusion in your eyes as he adds, “i like you y/n. more than just friends. i think about you all the time and i want to see you even when i’m busy. i want to know everything about you, even the smallest things, and i want to hear about your day and comfort you when it’s hard. i want to take care of you and make sure you never skip a meal. i want to be there for you when you're tired and help you feel better. let me be a shoulder for you to lean on. let me care for you properly.”

your eyes were wet with tears. there was so much sincerity in his voice, you don't remember the last time you let someone take care of you. sure, you had your roommates and friends but you hated bothering them with your troubles. most shocking was the disbelief that you were both on the same page without knowing it.

he pulls you in for a hug. you feel yourself immediately relaxing and leaning into donghyuck's touch and smell.

“i’d like that” you whisper into his shoulder in response to his confession.

he rubs your back in response and places a kiss on your forehead.

together, you move back to the couch and he orders your favorite take out as you tell him about the long week that you’ve had while cuddled into his shoulder. he listens intently while giving you words and touches of reassurance.

you feel a weight lifted off your shoulders sharing your struggles with donghyuck. you felt so incredibly lucky and grateful to have him here and you vowed to yourself in that moment that you would allow him to be a shoulder for you to lean on and to be there for him in his struggles as well.

[felassan]

"also, on the broadest line around the edge, you can see those symbols again. I’m thinking now that these 6 symbols represent the 6 factions we can choose from for Rook to belong to."

not only that, but the factions of 6 out of our 7 companions, Harding/the Inquisition aside. from some of the things they've said lately (tho at the moment I can't remember specifically where), it sounds like we will encounter each faction in the game too and that they each play a role in the story. in the center is the Veilguard logo itself; it's like representatives from these 6 factions came together to form Voltron The Veilguard. :> about the symbols btw:

The Warden symbol is closer style-wise to this new seemingly updated or northern Warden[?] symbol than it is to previous game/southern Warden[?] symbology (two). shape of the wing, stylization etc. it being 'half' like that gives it the impression of a shield/heraldic beasts.

The Veil Jumper symbol looks to be a halla. it makes me nostalgic for Clan Sabrae heraldry :') makes sense for a faction based in Arlathan and interested in ancient elvhen ruins.

The Shadow Dragons (Tevene faction) have a snake. dragons are all around in Tevinter imagery, a country where they are a symbol of divine power. Another kind of 'worm'/wyrm also kicks around in Tevinter iconography; snakes. in the Imperium heraldry, a serpentine dragon faces off against a snake (opposition..). (side ramble - As a group the Shadow Dragons are a resistance group, they oppose slavery, corrupt rulers and the worst aspects of Tevinter society. Their name makes them seem like 'a different kind of dragon' - an alternative way for the 'dragon' Tevinter is to be, a different future it could have. a different kind of dragon than the dominant ruling one, but one that is currently still overshadowed. it also carries the implication of them working in the shadows and carrying out operations under the radar - this is contrast to the Lucerni, a faction in the Magisterium whose goal is to redeem and restore Tevinter. They're more like a political party, they operate more in public. "lucerna" is Latin for lantern. light, and shadow. Maybe the Shadow Dragons are basically the stealthy/secret operational arm of the Lucerni? like a left and right hand. end side ramble) Snakes crop up in Neve's design (her leg, her hat). I keep thinking about the snake in the Imperium heraldry. with their symbol, it's like the Shadow Dragons are saying they're fighting for a Tevinter.. without the 'dragon' part. in which.. the dragon is a metaphor for the bad stuff? corruption etc? Snakes also carry the symbolism of stealth and slyness, which again fits with the 'shadow' stuff. Would a dragon be able to see a lowly snake coming...? probably not :> I also can't help but think of the imagery of snakes that's to do with healing and medicine. like they wanna de-corrupt Tevinter, heal it of its rot. ALSO. the other thing thing is The Viper from Minrathous Shadows. well, look at that. The Shadow Dragons' symbol is a snake. "We are the Tevinter you forgot". And what do they want? "Everything". maybe The Viper is the founder of the Shadow Dragons? the story mentions they have a contact, a lady who is lightning-smart (Neve?). in the accompanying art-piece, the dealer's silhouette and other aspects of their design are snake-like, recalling Neve and what seems to be 'Shadow Dragon Rook's clothes.

The Lords of Fortune have a cephalopod. (it reminds me of House Greyjoy). makes sense for a faction with ships, dominion over the coasts of Rivain, a pirate-y aesthetic and originating from a nation almost entirely surrounded by sea. maybe this explains the cephalopod that was portrayed 'on' Rivain in the trailer from a few months ago? like maybe it was supposed to represent the Lords of Fortune, their presence in Rivain, and their storyline.

The Mourn Watcher one is just so cool. it's at once both a humanoid skull (you can see the two eyes and the teeth), recalling the symbol for the broader Mortalitasi itself, and a beetle. it makes me think of stuff like scarab beetles and deathwatch beetles, both of which have lots of cool symbolism/lore and cultural meanings irl on stuff like life and death, the cycle, decomposition etc. beetles are also culturally important in Nevarra, where they are prized. lots of households keep them in cages for good luck, and encrusted beetle wings are part of Nevarran decor.

The Crow one is obviously like looking down at a corvid in flight. its head is the top triangular part, but this shape is also known to be worn by Crows as a mask/disguise, and from that perspective the pointy part at the bottom gives the wearer a beaked appearance, masquerade-ball style. the Crows are always watching :>

[starlostseungmin]

he's giving poodle 🥹💔 now imagine a self-care night sleepover with him (punches wall)

self-care night sleepover with seungmin.

✰ notes: i know it should be a drabble and i was supposed to just yap about this but i can’t help it!! i wrote this as a headcanon instead since my brain doesn’t want to work. anyway i hope you’ll get fed well with this seungmin 🙏🏻 i hope you like it cielle!! not proofread and not edited. ps. for anyone who reads this, pls don’t send in requests i only wrote this for a moot. thank you <33

✰ wc: 0.9k.　genre: fluff, derived from bedtime bingo hell skzcode eps. 55-56.　warnings: mentions of food, tasting skincare serum.

ꔛ

Self-care night sleepover with Seungmin consists of the list of things he wrote on a paper for you to do before getting into bed; wear matching pajamas, cook dinner your favorite meals, set the mattress on the floor, watch a movie or two, eat, drink hot choco (since it is raining outside), do each other’s skincare routine, and cuddle to sleep. 

Self-care night sleepover with Seungmin wasn’t planned in the first place but an idea rose into his mind when you mentioned about having to relax on a rainy night after his exhausting day at work. Seungmin promptly agreed and dashed towards the bathroom to wash up. “We should wear matching pajamas tonight since it’s a sleepover!” He beamed excitedly after picking the most comfortable ones. 

Self-care night sleepover with Seungmin having you cook your favorite meals on a rainy night made your bonding time warm and cozy. The taste of the food sent joy from your mouth to your stomach as you both stood by the counter instead of taking a seat. Sitting together didn’t come to mind when Seungmin whined about how hungry he was so you fed him as he made a tiny happy dance like a 5-year-old kid. He volunteered to wash the dishes afterwards. 

Self-care night sleepover with Seungmin made you set aside the couch in the living room of your shared apartment just to make room for the king-sized mattress a meter away from the smart television. You sat together while sipping hot chocolate on your favorite Sanrio characters’ designed mug as Seungmin navigated the screen to choose what to watch.

Self-care night sleepover with Seungmin involves eating snacks while being entertained by those stupid characters and their problems. “She could’ve picked the other guy,” He said while munching popcorn. “I pity her for having poor decisions in life that’s why her life’s miserable.” You could only laugh and agree with his judgments. 

Self-care night sleepover with Seungmin had him ask you to help washing his hair before going to the next one on your to-do list. He ducked above the sink in the bathroom as you pulled out the shower head to wet his hair. It helped him feel at ease and the gentle scent of shampoo being massaged all over his scalp made him a bit drowsy. “Why are you doing it so good? I think I’ll be having a good sleep soon.” He said. “You’re welcome!” 

Self-care night sleepover with Seungmin made you the one drying his hair with a dryer making his locks look like a poodle’s fur but black. His eyes were closed but it painted a smile on his face as he sat in front of the vanity and felt like a puppy getting taken care of with love. Which he isーwith a sleeping mask with the words “Let me sleep” on his forehead and messy poodle hair, he looked so adorable with it. 

Self-care night sleepover with Seungmin is required to know how each other’s day went. “How was your day?” You asked him as you brushed his hair. “It was chaotic, Minho hyung almost hit me with a limbo stick, I almost lost a game, and they were giving me a hard time for not deciding who’s going to do the game first, I just passed out in stress,” He frowned making you giggle in return. “They’re insane, babe.” “I know baby, but you love them.” You answered as he sighed in return. “I do. How’s your day, love?” “It was fine, I was busy with work, like usual.”  

Self-care night sleepover with Seungmin is sitting next to each other by the vanity and doing your skincare routine while gossiping. He tried out yours and loved the textures, even used your tools to make the cream and serum blend smoothly into his skin. “I’m stealing these.” “No, get your own!” “Can you rub them to my cheeks?” “It is an opportunity for me to pinch them.” “Do the honors but don’t kiss them, it’s disgusting.” “The serum tastes so bad.” “You ate them Y/N?!” 

Self-care night sleepover with Seungmin is having to lay side by side after letting the skincare products sit on your face and cuddle while pulling the covers over your bodies. It is a must in this relationship and your boyfriend loves them. You can’t complain. “What should we do tomorrow?” He asked as you scooted closer and lay your head on his chest while his arm wrapped around your shoulder, slowly leaving a kiss on your forehead. 

Self-care night sleepover with Seungmin needs to plan something for the next day because it is his day off or so you thought. It’s a lazy night as it rains outside. “We can go to the park or shop?” You answered, hugging him tightly. “We’ll figure it out tomorrow, we should sleep.” He said, pulling you closer to his body as he closed his eyes feeling your warmth. “Good night, my love.” “Good night, Minnie, sleep well.” 

Self-care night sleepover with Seungmin is sleeping in each other’s arms as you listen to his gentle heartbeat and breathing in his scent that you always love while he rests his head above yours, spooning you like his favorite plushie. You can’t wait to spend time with him and do this all over again. 

✰ taglist: @notastraykid , @ameliesaysshoo , @l3visbby , @reignessance , @lix-ables , @skzfelixlove , @rachabreathing , @hyunverse , @minluvly , @sleepyleeji , @starseungs , @midsoulz , @oddracha , @armystay89 , @lashaemorow

©️ 𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐑𝐋𝐎𝐒𝐓𝐒𝐄𝐔𝐍𝐆𝐌𝐈𝐍 , 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟒.

[ghouljams]

Have some dark fic. Slasher!Gaz took over my mind last night. I gotta stop writing this stuff at 2am, but it's short and sweet.

Cw: stalking, noncon voyeurism, allusions to murder, manipulation, gaslighting, fear/paranoia play, dark!Gaz, dead dove do not eat

"We draw the line where we need to" Price had told him once, and Kyle was drawing it here. Right here. He can look, but he can't touch. He can stand in the corner of your room and watch the steady rise and fall of your breaths. He can enjoy the squish of your chest against the pillow you cuddle. Hell, he can stroke his aching cock at the way you kick off the sheets, the way your panties bunch between your legs, the way you turn onto your stomach to let him admire the swell of your ass. He just won't touch you. Touching you would be wrong. It wouldn't be romantic to touch you like this, when you don't know, when you can't kick up a fuss. Sure he can take pictures, can hold his cock in front of your face and hope you stick out your cute tongue, but to actually press his cockhead against your lips would be crossing the line he set for himself.

Look but don't touch. That's the rule. That's what keeps his butterfly beating it's wings, even when it's abdomen is so securely pinned to the board. Freedom is an illusion he gives you. An invisible fence, clipped wings, a long leash. You can go anywhere you like! As long as Gaz knows about it. And he always knows.

You've moved twice in an attempt to elude your stalker. Changed your phone number four time. Changed your locks three times. He just keeps finding you, you cry to him over coffee. Gaz nods sympathetically, pats your shoulder and gives you a "poor thing." His poor pretty thing, his little doll to play with however he likes. It's so cute seeing you scared.

He likes seeing you open your mailbox and pull out unmarked letters. Hand delivered, only the best for you. You always get this little tremble in your lips, glancing around like he may be waiting in the wings to jump out and scare you. Gaz considered it once or twice, but it felt juvenile, and too likely to attract attention. You needed a more delicate touch, a more long range, long term, plan. Price always said he was one of the best snipers they had. It's really too bad you'll never get to see his skills in action. He could stare down his scope at you all day, watching you check and re-check your locks(as if he doesn't have a key). You'd look so pretty with some blood on you.

It's fun pretending your worries matter to him. A fun little game to go with you to the police station and help you fill out the reports, quietly pulling an officer aside and telling them how you have a history of paranoia and your therapist thought this was the best outlet. He's so sorry for wasting the officer's time(fucking pig) but it makes you feel better. How nice of the officer to let him know they'll probably pitch the report. No sense chasing ghosts.

"Thank you for being so understanding," Gas tells them every time with a smile.

He'll hold you in his arms at the end of the week and shush your crying. Offer comforting words when you sob about how the police aren't doing anything, that they didn't take you seriously, you don't even think they logged the report. Incompetent, Gaz will call them, and you'll sniffle and nod like the stupid little puppet you are. So cute, so sweet for him.

"You want me to stay the night? Watch the door?" He offers, and you hesitate only a moment before nodding. He'll stand over you later and wonder how hard it would be to convince you to move out to the country. Somewhere he could keep you on a shorter leash, with a real fence and bars on the windows. How hard would it be to convince you that you live him? That he wants what's best for you? That it's too dangerous for you to stay in the city?

Well, probably not long for that last one, and with the way you sigh his name in your sleep, not long for the first either. What a silly thing you are crying about him during the day but dreaming of him at night. Although, he supposes you don't know it's him stalking you. It's only too bad he'd have to stop this game once he got you to himself, you're really much more entertaining than the people he sinks his knife into.

[strawb3rrystar]

Snogging on the couch.

Pairing: Poly! Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, James Potter, Lily Evans x GN! Reader

Warnings: Peter is there but y'all are just friends, Mostly Sirius x reader and Remus x reader, Sirius' hair gets slandered, Snape slander (not from the reader), Lily is a queen - but she's not in this much

Word count: 1,635

✰Masterlist

Sirius and James arguing again, while you, Remus, and Peter watch on in the Gryffindor common room. The pair went on insulting each other about whatever came to their minds until James said something about Sirius' hair. This roused an outraged gasp from Sirius who looked distraught.

"You take that back! That was too far! Right, love? Tell him to take it back."

Sirius huffs, looking to you for guidance, but you don't acknowledge him, continuing to read your book instead. James grins at this, crossing his arms proudly to make a snide remark. But, you beat him to it.

"You guys are both idiots."

Now they're both looking at you with a shocked expression. James rolls his eyes, complaining how that was 'not very nice', despite the fact he was just making jabs at every insecurity your boyfriend had two seconds ago. Meanwhile, Sirius is already sidling up to you, trying to read what you're reading.

"Whatcha reading, love?"

He inquires with a crooked smile, placing an arm over the back of the couch behind you. Your initial response was to sigh and ignore him, not wanting to get caught in the crossfire. But it was hard with Sirius breathing over your shoulder. So instead you answer him.

"A book on herbs and medicines."

"Booooooriiiiing."

Sirius groans, throwing his head back. Peter laughs a bit at the display, perched on the armchair beside the couch.

"Why can't you read something fun for a change? Like... a comic strip!"

He suggests, earning him a punch to the shoulder from Remus, who's settled on the arm of the couch beside him.

"Not everyone is as dumb as you, Pads."

Remus teases, making Peter laugh again, though he quickly stifles it with a cough. You chuckle, pressing your book up to your face.

"Good one, Moony."

Sirius gives you a mock-wounded look, then snatches the book right out of your hands to make a show of reading it.

"Hmm, oh wow. 'Common plants... and their medicinal uses.' Riveting material, love."

He scoffs, holding the book up to his face and turning it upside down. You huff, puffing your cheeks a little, then very politely ask him to give it back.

"Why don't you come take it instead, hm?"

He challenges with a raised eyebrow and that trademark smirk, leaning back leisurely and holding the book a little higher as you make a move for it. You try to grab it, but fail. You clench your fists and jump at Sirius to grab it. Surprised but amused, Sirius laughs as you clamber up onto his lap, still smirking as you grapple at the book. Remus and Peter watch on, clearly trying to hold their laughter in. You make a valiant effort, but just can't seem to get the book back, as Sirius uses a hand to help keep you from snatching it.

"Is our little partner trying to beat the mighty Sirius Black? How adorable."

Your eyebrows press together in frustration, and without thinking about it, you bite Sirius' neck. Caught in unawares, Sirius lets out a sharp hiss at the playful nip.

"Hey, hey, hey! Playing dirty now, are we?"

He chuckles, rubbing his tender neck.

"Two can play at that game, love."

He whispers, turning the book over in his hands as he sets it aside, before swiftly grabbing you and pinning you down on the couch. You yelp in surprise as you land on the couch. How embarrassing it must be to get pinned down in the common room while your other two boyfriends and one of your best friends watch. Sirius, paying no mind to your embarrassment, straddles you, his hands pinning your wrists on either side of your head.

"That's what you get for biting me, love."

He whispers, before leaning down and kissing you deeply, not allowing you to say a word before his lips claim yours. You desperately kick your feet, silently begging the other three to do something about Sirius. But.. James, Remus, and Peter watch on as Sirius continues to kiss you passionately, making no move to help. Remus lets out an amused huff, shaking his head, while James lets out a low whistle. It's clear they're not going to interfere as they get quite the entertaining show. So, you continue to kick and squirm against Sirius, worried that anyone could just walk into the common room and see you like this.

The kissing only gets more intense. Sirius is practically devouring you, and shows no signs of stopping, despite your squirming. Until finally, an authoritative voice cuts through the tension.

"Black, don't you think you should let them breathe?"

The voice barks, and Sirius pauses, hesitantly pulling away with a smirk. He looks up at the newcomer - Lily.

"Lily! Save me!"

You immediately yell when you see her come into view. Sirius chuckles at your cries for help, before finally letting go of your wrists and sitting back on his haunches, looking over at Lily with a taunting grin.

"What are you going to - "

Before he could finish his line, Lily had already taken out her wand and pointed it at him.

"Petrificus Totalus!"

She cried, and in a flash of light, Sirius was frozen in place.

"Thank you Lils." 

You stand up from the couch and grab your book. 

"No thanks to you lot." 

You glare at the other three boys. James shrugged nonchalantly. He responded with a crooked smile on his face.

"We were having too much fun watching, can't blame us."

"You have the weirdest idea of fun, Prongs."

Remus roll his eyes at James' comment. Peter piping up with a snicker. You sigh, shaking your head and smoothing down your uniform.

"Watching me get snogged on the couch is not fun, James!"

James lets out a chuckle, earning a glare from Remus.

"Oh, it was fun all right. At least for me."

"You're lucky they aren't hexing you as well."

Remus points out, but James rolls his eyes. Meanwhile, Lily looks at Sirius with a satisfied smirk, still frozen in place.

"Serves you right, you arse."

You press your book to your chest in a protective manner, your bottom lip jutting out.

"Lily, they're being so mean to me!"

Lily shakes her head at the antics of her partners.

"Don't worry, darling. I've had to deal with these idiots for years."

She then takes pity on Sirius' frozen state and lifts her wand. 'Finite.' Immediately, Sirius is unfrozen, though he remains on the couch. Lily smirks at his shocked expression.

"Next time, think twice before getting a little frisky in the common room, hm, Pads?"

You pinch your brow when Sirius gives you a suggestive look.

"Moony is the only one with any decency out of you lot."

"Hey!" James protests. "I have plenty of decency!"

Remus shakes his head in response.

"Please. Who was it that suggested pranking Snape with the Giant-Hogweed potion last week again?"

He asks mockingly, and James lets out a sigh.

"It was just a harmless prank..."

James grumbles, but Remus isn't buying it.

"Harmless? He spent a day spitting up petals and coughing."

Your eyes widen slightly hearing them talk. You shake your head with sympathy as you sit down beside Remus.

"Oh no! Poor Severus..."

The other boys chuckle, amused that she actually seems concerned.

"Did Sirius' excessive kissing take away your brain, love? Why in the world are you defending that slimy git?"

James teases with a chuckle, taking the seat on your other side, pushing Sirius out of the way.

"Are you just jealous because he fancys Lily?"

"Jealous? Of Snivellus? Ha! Never!" James protests, trying to defend his wounded pride, before sighing.

"He's good potions, I'll give him that. But he's far from the only one in this school crushing on Lily. Even Moony has a small little spot for her, yeah?"

James says with a smirk, glancing at Remus. Remus, in return, shakes his head.

"Oh no, don't bring me into this now."

"Yeah, Potter, leave him out of it."

You kiss Remus' cheek sweetly. James gives a dramatic sigh, watching the kiss.

"I'm third-wheeling, and I don't like it."

He says, though he's clearly teasing. Remus, meanwhile, is turning slightly pink in the cheeks.

"Dove..."

He mumbles awkwardly, but Sirius lets out a scoff. He chimes in with a mischievous smirk.

"Now wait just a minute! You're allowed to be kissed, and I'm not? That's not very fair, is it, love?"

You glare at Sirius, pressing your book further into your chest and letting out a scoff back to him.

"Moony didn't steal my book from me, Siri."

Sirius rolls his eyes.

"That's beside the point."

He retorts, leaning across the couch to take your hand.

"I deserve a little love too, you know."

He whines, giving her a pathetic puppy-dog look. Remus pipes up immediately.

"Oh, don't be so dramatic. You're like a needy puppy, Sirius. Honestly."

He says and James shakes his head, letting out a chuckle. You cuddle into Remus' side, full heartedly agreeing with him.

"Traitor."

Sirius mutters, glaring slightly at Remus and his lucky position, before leaning back with a nonchalant expression. As if reading Sirius' thoughts, James laughs.

"Looks like Rem is the winner tonight, Pads."

He points out, and Sirius lets out a huff. Remus, meanwhile, can't help feeling a little bit smug at having won your favor for the time being. You open your book again, an idea popping in your head.

"James was right by the way. Pads does have terrible hair."

James bursts out laughing, while Peter sniggers. Sirius' eyes widened with offense.

"Excuse me?!"

He protests, straightening up to run a hand through his hair.

"What's wrong with my hair?!"

"Everything." The four of you all say in unison.

Star's notes -> Wow, that's a lot of dialogue :0

(Requests are open!)

Taglist -> @elmolovesw33d @helendeath @prettorett @aphrodite-xoxo @ellae-ngel

@monkeylaura627 | Join the taglist

[elllisaaa]

ateez as love songs

-> pairing : ateez x fem!reader

-> words count : 3.7k words

-> genre : fluff, hurt/comfort

-> warnings : self depreciating thoughts, mentions of panic attacks & anxiety

-> sorry for any mistakes, english is not my first language.

-> reblogs and feedbacks are appreciated !

-> author's note : i'm sooo happy to get back to this serie !! i missed writing with songs a lot so i hope you'll appreciate it as much as i did !

-> masterlist | ateez masterlist | 1k event masterlist

KIM HONGJOONG

-> Renegades by X Ambassadors

"living wild, and running free, two kids, you and me."

→ You and Hongjoong met when you moved into his neighborhood, and you immediately got along really well. He was also the only kid of your age to be around, and you had no choice but to befriend him. And you did, spending your whole childhood by his side. You did all the stupid things you could have done : skipping classes to go to the arcade or play video games together, pulling pranks on this one professor you both couldn’t stand, living your life to the fullest. But all of that crumbled when he told you that he had to go. You were happy for him, because you knew how talented he was, how much he did to pursue his dream. But you couldn’t help crying when you were alone in your bed at night. You did everything you could think of before he left, doing all the craziest things you wouldn’t have dared to do normally, so that all you remembered from him was happy memories. 

“- Promise we’ll see each other again, even when you become the biggest idol in Korea.

- Of course, I could never forget you.”

And Hongjoong held you tight in his arms, as if he didn’t want to ever let go. And if he could, he would’ve done that. Because the only thing he didn’t do before leaving was telling you how much he loved you, because he didn’t want you to spend your whole life waiting for him, and because he knew deep down that it wasn’t the end. 

"and I say hey, hey, hey, living like we’re renegades."

→ So when the two of you finally reconnected when you had finished your studies, and when Ateez had already grown big, it felt like yesterday, like Hongjoong had never left, like you were never separated. And just like when you were only kids, you started to do all these crazy things again. You had to be more careful because of his job, but it made everything even more fun, and breaking the rules even more thrilling. That was how you ended up in a random park, late at night, like when you were still in highschool, like there was no problem at all. 

“- You know, there’s one thing I wanted to do before leaving that I never did. 

- What was it ?

- This.”

And Hongjoong leaned in to kiss you, and you let him. Because even if he didn’t ask you to wait for him, you did. Because even if you didn’t know if he loved you, you couldn’t love anyone else. And now that you found each other again, he will not let go. Because you were the only person making him feel so alive, so free, so happy. Because he was the only one for you, and you were the only one for him.

PARK SEONGHWA

-> Say Something by Kodaline

"you can lean on me when it’s hard to breathe, you can call me anytime, so please say something to me."

→ Seonghwa knew when he started to go out with you that you had some trouble expressing your emotions, that it was not easy for you to say when you needed help. And he was okay with that, he knew that everyone couldn’t be as open about their feelings as he was. But sometimes, he wished you knew you could count on him, sometimes he wished he could do more for you. 

“- Baby, please, talk to me. I can see that you’re not doing good, I just want to be there for you.

- But I don’t want to bother you Hwa, I don’t want you to think I’m weak.

- Crying doesn’t make you weak my love, it means you’re letting go of your emotions, and it’s a good start okay ? I’m here for you, anytime.”

And that was true. Everytime you needed something, Seonghwa was there. Everytime you needed someone, Seonghwa was there. He was always there. And the feeling of being understood, of being heard was something so soothing you never wanted to let him go. 

“- You’re one of the best things that happened to me, you know.”

Seonghwa simply smiled and kissed your forehead, because you were the best thing that happened to him too, and he was glad to see you grow and open up to the world. 

"i’d do time for you, i would lie for you, i would die for you."

→ “- You’re sure I’m not crashing your plans ?

- Not at all baby, I was only going to watch a movie and I’d rather spend my night with you than alone. I’ll be over soon.”

Whenever a panic attack hit you, you had the habit of dealing with it by yourself, using techniques you had learned back when you were a teenager to calm down. But ever since you met Seonghwa, you grew familiar to his presence, to his comforting aura. And everytime you were suffering from your anxiety, the only person who was able to help you breathe more easily was him. 

“- I’m sorry to bother you again, Hwa.”

But he only shook his head at you, his soft fingers caressing your cheeks tenderly. You were never a burden to him, on the contrary. He loved to spend time with you, he loved to take care of you, and even if he wished he could magically get rid of all your pain for you, he was glad you knew that you could lean on him anytime. Because he would give up everything for you, because he loved you.

“- You’re never bothering me. Never. I only want you to feel better.

- I’m feeling good now that you’re here.”

And that was all he needed to know. 

JEONG YUNHO

-> Wherever You Are by Kodaline

"wherever you are, that’s where i’ll be."

→ Yunho loved going on tour, he loved being on stage, he loved these moments, and he loved meeting atinys. But there was only one thing missing - you. He wanted you to come along with them, but it was impossible because of your job. And despite both of your busy schedules, you always found a way to call each other everyday, no matter the time differences and if it was day or night. 

“- How is it going so far ?

- It’s so good. I’m so glad I didn’t give up on what I wanted because even if it’s hard sometimes, I’m truly happy.”

And that was obvious from the smile on his face every time he talked to you about a new city he visited, everytime he updated you about what happened at tonight’s concert. He was made to be on a stage, he was made to spread the same happiness he gave to you every time you were with him.

“- But I miss you, angel. I can’t wait to go home to you.”

You couldn’t wait for that too, because the apartment was so empty without him, because your home was not a place but a person. It was him.

"we get carried away in emotion, we get lost in each other’s eyes."

→ The lazy weekends you spent at home with your boyfriend might be your favorites. You didn’t need to go out every day to know that he loved you, in fact, just laying in bed while reading or watching a show you both knew by heart felt even better. Because it was another proof of how you didn't need to change yourself for him, how you knew he would always love you for you.

“- Why are you looking at me like that ?

- You’re just so beautiful, angel… Sometimes I can’t even believe you’re mine.”

You tried to control the blush spreading on your face, but Yunho could feel your warmth as he caressed your cheeks. And his smile widened at how cute you were. 

“- You’re saying that as if you’re not so damn handsome yourself.

- Well, I’ve never denied that.”

You rolled your eyes at him, but you couldn’t hold your giggles for much longer, letting him kiss you even if both of you couldn’t stop smiling like fools in love. And you were. So in love that sometimes it was overwhelming, but one look at each other was enough to remind you that it perfectly made sense in the end. 

KANG YEOSANG

-> Pretty Boy by The Neighborhood

"even if my heart stops beating, you’re the only thing i need, ooh, with me."

→ “- Will you be home late tonight ?

- Uh, I don’t know Yeo, I have a lot of things to do. But do you want me to come home earlier ?

- I don’t want to bother you though.”

But he was never bothering you. Ever. And it was rare for Yeosang to ask for your comfort like that. Usually, it would only show in his gestures, and you would take the hint and cuddle him until he was totally relaxed. But you knew that when he was telling you directly, he really needed your help. 

“- You’re sure you don’t want me to run you a bath ?”

Your boyfriend shook his head, nuzzling his head further in your neck and his grip around your waist tightening as if he feared that you would get up and walk away. 

“- Yes, I just need you.”

You smiled softly and started to run your fingers through his hair again. Hearing his breathing become more regular and feeling him unwind in between your arms had to be the best feeling ever. Knowing that he only wanted you, and that you only wanted him only reinforced the conviction that you could only be soulmates. 

"as long as i got you, yeah, i’m not afraid to die, i’m alright."

→ “- You’ll warn me whenever there’s a jumpscare right ?”

You nodded at your boyfriend as you settled back in his arms, wrapping the blanket around the two of you as he started the horror movie you’ve wanted to watch together for some time. Despite Yeosang knowing very well that he was not a fan of the genre, he wanted to do it for you and see if maybe he could end up liking it. 

“- Can we… stop the movie baby ?”

You immediately grabbed the remote tv and paused the film before handing it to him, pecking his lips as you smiled at him tenderly.

“- We can watch the rest of it another day, or not at all. It’s up to you. And it’s your turn to choose something to watch.”

Maybe that someone else would have made fun of him for being so sensitive to horror movies, but you didn’t, you never did. You simply accepted it, accepted him without any questions. That was one of the many reasons he loved you, because there were at least a thousand, so much that it would take days to note them down. And every time you did something like this, he added some more to the neverending list.

CHOI SAN

-> Say Yes To Heaven by Lana Del Rey

"if you dance i’ll dance, and if you don’t, i’ll dance anyway."

→ You always loved to see San dance, his moves and his flow always hypnotizing you each time. Whenever you witnessed him dancing, you couldn’t tear your eyes away from him. And even after all the time you’ve been together, he still struggled to accept your compliments on his dancing, sometimes you’ll even have to beg him to let you come see him practice or perform. 

“- You did so good, baby ! I’m so proud of you.”

Despite San being all sweaty and still a little breathless from the intense exercise, you still hugged him tightly, letting only you hear his quiet “thank you”’s. He received countless praises about his skills, but yours always hit different for some reasons. Maybe because you were the person he estimated the most.

“- If only you would let me teach you one of our dances, you’ll see you’re even better than me. 

- That’s impossible, you’re the best Sannie.”

He always had to turn your nice words against you, praising you instead. But your smile every time you did so was the greatest gift he could receive. And finally convincing you to let him teach you some moves made him the happiest man alive - it was the first step to get you to dance with him the day he will marry you after all. 

"i’ve got my eye on you, say yes to heaven, say yes to me."

→ San had always been very careful, never when it came to him, but when it was you, it was a whole different story. He was the type to put his hand over the sharp edges when you could bump into them, or to notice that you had an eyelash on your cheek, just because he was always looking after you, because he was always looking at you. 

“- What is all that Sannie ?”

You looked at all the snacks covering your coffee table, your heating pads ready with your favorite blanket on the couch and your comfort movie already on the tv. And then you looked back at your boyfriend with tears in your eyes.

“- Don’t cry, love. I just noticed that you were not doing good and then I realized you were going to have your periods.

- And you did that for me ? I’m gonna marry you someday, I swear.”

San grinned at your words, only answering that he was only waiting for you to do it. But he couldn’t help thinking back to the ring hidden in his socks drawer, waiting there until he had planned everything because you deserved the best proposal ever. The only thing he was sure of was that you were going to say yes and he couldn’t wait for this moment. 

SONG MINGI

->That’s So Us by Allie X

"what i like about you baby is how you annoy me daily, but you still fucking amaze me, that’s so us."

→ Even when you were still friends, Mingi and you used to text each other non stop throughout the day. No matter if it was only to update each other on what you ate for lunch, or that you saw a kid fall on the street, it felt good to know that you were the first person you thought about all day long. And now that you were dating, it didn’t change - and it even got worse - but you didn’t mind it. 

“- Isn’t it annoying how much you’re texting all the time ?”

Mingi gave a judging look to Jongho, and you couldn’t help but laugh at it as you came back to watching the video still playing on your boyfriend’s phone.

“- No, never. It feels like she’s with me even when I don’t get to see her.”

Jongho fake gaged, as if he wasn’t the one encouraging Mingi to confess to you back then. But you didn’t mind the playful bantering, it was funny. And you totally got what your boyfriend meant. It wasn’t always easy to see him leaving for tours so often, but whenever he was sending you eight photos per hour to keep you updated on his day, it felt like you were traveling with him and it helped when you missed him too much. And you didn’t get how he could still manage to make you laugh, but he did and you never wanted him to stop. 

"and i sing in the car while you’re playing air guitar, that’s so you, that’s so me, that’s so us."

→ “- What are you doing ?”

But Mingi was already running ahead of you to reserve a place on the swings for the two of you. You couldn’t help laughing as you joined him, ignoring the bad looks you were getting from all the people and parents at seeing a 6 feet man sitting on a kids’ swings.

“- Come here, baby, push me !”

He was almost too big to sit on them, but he managed to anyway, and now you had to find a way to help him move even if you could barely push him. 

“- I can’t Mingi !

- Sit on my lap then.”

So you did, and he held you with one arm as he made the swing move by himself. Your giggles mingled and it was silly but you felt so happy you felt like your heart could burst.

“- Wanna get ice cream ?”

You had barely answered “yes”, and Mingi was already standing up, holding you bridal style and running to find the closest ice cream stand. Whenever you hang out with him, it was like you lived a second childhood and you loved it just as much as his smile when he saw you play along in his antics. 

JUNG WOOYOUNG

-> Never Be The Same by Camilla Cabello

"suddenly i’m a fiend, and you’re all i need, all i need."

→ You’ve always dreamt about having a boyfriend who would be literally obsessed with you, who couldn’t get enough of you. And you didn’t think you would end up being the one getting crazy over a man. But here you were, watching Wooyoung do his skincare with hearts in your eyes. 

“- I can feel you staring at me, baby.”

His smirk was eating up his face as you looked at each other through the reflection in the mirror. He did that everytime you were simping over him, never letting go of the fact that you loved him that much.

“- And what if I was, uh ? What would you do ?”

Wooyoung turned around, with his cute, fluffy headband still holding his hair out of his face. It was difficult to take him seriously like that, but he looked adorable. He got closer to where you were sitting on top of the washing machine, cupping your face with his hands.

“- This.”

And he kissed you, love pouring from this gesture that made you melt down on the spot. He always managed to make your heart flutter and your cheeks blush without even trying. But you knew that he was equally as obsessed with you, because once he got a taste of your lips, he had to kiss you at least a hundred more times to be satisfied. 

"you’re to blame, just one hit of you i knew i’ll never, ever, ever be the same."

→ Love at first sight was never a thing that Wooyoung believed in. It was cool and romantic on a screen, but in real life, he thought that there was no way it could ever happen, especially to him. That was until he got introduced to you. When he crossed your eyes for the first time, he was hit by the realization that yes, it did in fact exist, and that it happened to him. 

“- Do you think we’re soulmates in every universe ?

- You think we’re soulmates ?”

Wooyoung wanted to kiss your cute pout away and assure you that if there was a word stronger than soulmate, it would be what he would call you.

“- Of course we’re soulmates, we’re literally a match made in heaven.”

You couldn’t help but laugh at how silly he could be sometimes, but you loved it that way. Because the first time you met him, and that he froze in front of you with his jaw hitting the floor was the day you fell for him, and you wouldn’t want it any other way.

CHOI JONGHO

-> Chasing Cars by Sleeping At Last

"if i lay here, if i just lay here, would you lie with me and just forget the world."

→ Sometimes, Jongho didn’t want to talk. And sometimes, he was anxious that you would get bored when you were hanging out with him. It was not that he didn’t want to tell you all about his day, it was just that he needed some silence, or that he didn’t have the energy to do so. 

“- Do you want me to tell you what happened today ?”

Everytime, Jongho would nod and instead of talking, he would listen to your soothing voice while he ran his hand through your hair. That was all he needed to relax after a long and exhausting day. 

“- And then you won’t believe what she did, baby ! She literally ate the yogurt I had put my name on !”

You didn’t force him to react, you didn’t ask anything from him because you knew he was listening, that he was paying attention. Sometimes, you were worried about talking too much, but never when you were with Jongho. And even when the both of you needed some silence, it was never awkward. You just did your own things or cuddled, kissing each other sometimes and just enjoying each other's presence. Whenever you were together, it was like a little bubble that protected you both from the world. 

"those three words are said too much, they’re not enough."

→ Words had never been Jongho’s main way to express his emotions. Often, he struggled with it. And you never had a problem with it, appreciating every gift and gesture he offered you because you knew it was his way to say he loved you. Sometimes, he was a little envious of how easily you showed your adoration to him, and he wanted to return it in some kind of way. 

“- You really spent months on that, just for me ?”

The tears in your eyes as he made you listen to the song he had been working on for you made him want to protect you from the cruel world forever. 

“- Yes. I always feel like I don’t tell you enough how much I love you, and sometimes I feel like this is not enough to express what I feel for you.”

Without thinking about it, you threw yourself in his arms, smiling when you heard him giggling as he held you against him. 

“- You didn’t have to, but I love it so much, I’m gonna listen to it every hour of every day from now on.”

The smile on his lips was so bright that you almost had to close your eyes. But the view was so perfect that you didn’t want him to stop any time soon. And even if he didn’t say it everyday, you knew he loved you and you would never trade what you had against anything else.

-> i don't allow any copies, reposts or translations of my work.

ateez taglist (fill in this to be added) :

@sharonxdevi @hann1bee @lil-kpopstan @riraives @lichyuu @foxinnie8 @lovelyuyu

1k event taglist (fill in this to be added) :

@emmaluvsjisung

[lavandermin]

Working on the jing yuan asks (miss ella im looking at yours and going feral) but also have jiaoqiu on the brain… I need to know more about him when he releases to get a good grasp on writing him but.

thinking hard about how irritated he is with how easily you love. How easily you fell for him. He sees it, heard people tell him that you have a huge crush on him. But his heart has been broken before. The logical part of him assumes you don’t know that but it irks him that you can love so freely and without regard for getting your heart broken. You just can’t help how smitten you are with him. Like a lovesick puppy with eyes only for him.

cw | suggestive, idk manipulation but he’s just playing himself atp

And oh he decides to teach you a lesson. Teach you that love isn’t all what it’s made out to be. It can be cruel, disappointing, world shattering, life altering. Would some say he’s leading you on? Using you? Perhaps. Maybe it’s some twisted way of him working through his own issues.

But oh when he has you so pliant and needy under him, your soft mewls and desperate moans—he decides once is not enough to teach you a lesson.

Is he falling for you? Absolutely not! It’s not denial. Sure he sees you almost every day. He seeks you out. Sets your emotions up high with gifts and loves the thrill in his chest when your eyes light up. The breathless look on your face as your lips are kiss-swollen and wet. The way you keep coming back for more because he’s only ever edged you and never let you cum for the sole purpose of getting you hooked on the promise of “next time, sweet girl. Be good for me.”

No, surely he has no feelings for you… and yet this little game has been going on for almost 3 months now. You’re none the wiser and think he genuinely loves you. He has been failing to realize his own hearts true intentions, shrouded in guilt and hurt

[elisysd]

16. I want you to see, how you look to me

Masterlist - Previously - Next

Chapter soundtrack : BIRDS OF A FEATHER - Billie Eillish

He was furious. He had pictured Zandvoort and the second part of the season as some sort of resurgence. A fresh start. A new beginning. In his mind it was supposed to be different. He was feeling happy in his private life, why his professional one couldn’t follow the same path? The worst thing was that he wasn’t furious against his team, no, it was mostly against himself. He just needed some peace and quiet to focus on himself before going to media duties, which he dreaded. He wanted to hide in his driver room, he wanted to brood, just a while. He passed his door right as he felt an anxiety attack coming for him. His throat tightened, making it hard for him to breathe. He tried to cough, thinking it would make everything better when it just managed to make it worse. His vision started to blur right as two arms circled his waist and he felt a head pressed on his back as the sweet perfume of vanilla mixed with lavender hit his nostrils. 

“It’s okay, Charles. You’re okay,” you whispered, scared a sound too loud would scare him or make him spiral. As though he was about to break.  “I’m here for you. Whatever you need, I’ll try to get it.”

“Can you give me a better car?”he asked, a nervous chuckle escaping his lips. 

“That might be out of my hands… sorry,” you pouted, trying to make him laugh for real. “But seriously, I’m here for you. You’ve been there for me when I needed you most, so it’s natural to show up when you’re feeling down.”

“This is the worst weekend of the season. I know I say this every Sunday but this is how I feel. But somehow, you’re making it a whole lot bearable,” he mumbled, burying his head in your neck. “I don’t want to go to the interviews.”

“Do you want to have an interview simulation with me?”

“As long as you don’t hold back.”

“When have I ever held back with you, Leclerc?” you teased him, bumping his shoulders with yours.

Coming back to the hotel with you, he was in a happier mood. Your help before the interviews had been much more useful than Silvia’s briefing and Pierre, his best friend, had earned his very first podium with Alpine after a complicated beginning of the season. In the end, the weekend was not that bad. His first move when crossing the door of his hotel room was going for a shower while he saw you throwing yourself on the bed, exhausted. He felt stupid for not checking up more on how you felt. He knew it had been a complicated day for you as well. He briefly hesitated joining you but he was feeling sweaty and in his own head. He didn’t want to drop his bad mood on you, even unconsciously. 

When he came back, you were sitting cross-legged on the edge of the bed, scrolling on your phone and not caring about his presence. He was sure you hadn’t even noticed him. He slowly approached you, carefully sitting next to you to see a picture of both of you arriving together, hand in hand, in the paddock. 

“Y/N…”

“They are blaming me,” you said, matter of factly, without an ounce of anger or sadness in your voice. “Because of your DNF.”

“It’s stupid.”

“It is. I don’t understand how some people can be so… violent. I’ve done nothing but walk next to you and hold your hand. And here they are calling me nasty names, saying that I only bring you bad luck. As if you had been exceptionally lucky this season… Sorry. How can all of this be my fault?”

Charles saw a tear forming on the corner of your eye and he quickly caught it before pulling you against his side. 

“I was stupid to think we would go unnoticed, that we would manage to stay out of people’s radar. It was naive.”

“If it is too much for you…”

“Don’t you dare finish this sentence. It’s not too much, you’re not too much. Your life is not easy to handle, sure. But I love you. What I feel for you is worth going through that. I just need to get used to it. I knew it was a risk, that being insulted was part of the game even if I don’t understand it. It hurts, I won’t deny it. But I love you. That outdoes the bad sides.” you reassured him, putting a hand on his cheek. 

“If you don’t want to attend Monza, I would understand.”

“I’m going to Monza. It’s your second home race, there is no chance I will miss it.”

“Then, I promise you, you won’t be alone. My mom will come and I’ll make sure you stay by her side.”

“I… I think I would like that.”

Monza was everything you were expecting and more. Sea of red and yellow flags were displayed everywhere. Fans chanted Charles’ name wherever he was going. Autographs and pictures taken every minute of every day. It was exhausting and you were not the one having all these duties. But Charles didn’t seem to look tired, quite the opposite. The more he was seeing people, the more he was excited and the more he couldn't wait to go on track. His goals were clear and he would do anything in his power to get them. That’s why he was absolutely crushed after the qualifying. He wanted to be the one on pole and no matter how much he was happy that a Ferrari would start P1, he would have rathered it be him. 

“You can still aim for the podium, Charles,” you tried to reassure him at the table of the restaurant the team had booked.

“No matter what, I’m proud of you Charlie,” Pascale said, stroking his back as Charles was sighing, defeated. 

“Negotiations for my contract renewal are on pause. Fred wants us to focus on the remainder of the season, he told me it was not his priority. Bu it’s mine. I need to deliver. I need to show Ferrari that I’m still their biggest chance to come back on top. And it means that I have to outperform Carlos. And being P4 while he starts on pole, is not showing that.”

“They know how valuable you are for the team, Charles,” Lorenzo intervened. 

“Do they? Because I’m not sure of that myself.”

You glanced at Pascale who shook her head, clearly disagreeing with Charles’mood. You bit your lips, trying to find the right words. 

“If you are not sure, please look at the crowd. They love you. They trust you. They don’t care which positions you are starting tomorrow, they have your back. Always have and always will. Look at them. Look at us. We love you. We are proud of you. We are with you. It doesn’t matter if there are bumps on the road, we are sticking by your side. And not only us but your dad too, Jules, Anthoine… my brother. We are all here for you. You won’t let us down. I don’t think you could ever let us down, if I’m being honest.”

Charles turned his head in your direction. You could feel how emotional you were. Since the beginning of the weekend, Luc had been on every corner of your mind. You couldn’t help but think of how much he would have loved to be there so you had tried your best to keep engraved in your memory each details you had come across. Your phone was full of pictures of the track, cars, little italian streets, crowds and flags. Charles. Charles in his suit, Charles in his team merch, Charles, half asleep on the hotel bed, Charles and you taking stupid selfie mirrors. You were a lovesick mess, you knew it and you couldn’t imagine what Luc would say about that. You knew he would feel excited and would tease you endlessly. You would have been annoyed, sure, but you couldn’t help to miss it. Missing something that would never happen was a strange feeling, but one you had regularly. 

“I love you,” he simply replied, kissing the side of your head. 

The race went by like a blur. Your eyes, Pascale and Lorenzo’s were glued to the screen as you watched Charles and Carlos battling in a not so clean way. You feared that one of the cars, if not both, were going to get taken out and you knew it would be a disaster. It was the very last thing Ferrari needed for their home race. Thankfully, Charles brought the car home safe but, you knew, deep down, that he would be disappointed and angry. And from what you could read on Pascale’s face, she was thinking the same as you were. 

It took a whale before Charles finally appeared and contrary to what you expected, he was smiling and laughing. You didn’t have time to react when he took you in his arms, spinning you around and burying his head in your neck, inhaling your scent. 

“I’m so happy,” he mumbled against your skin as you ran a hand in his hair. 

“Yeah?”

“It’s been a long time since I felt so alive walking out of that car. This battle reminded me why I love racing so much. The thrill, the danger, pushing the limits… I missed that.”

“So… you’re not disappointed of not being on the podium?” you asked, trying to get a confirmation out of him. 

“Would I have loved winning against Carlos? Of course. But this is what racing is about, you can’t always win. But one thing is for sure, it fueled me with a new desire to be the best for the next races.”

He took you hand in his, kissed his mother’s cheek, promising her to visit her soon and left. The Tifosi were still there, waiting for him and as he looked at you, silently asking for your approval to go and see them, you nodded. 

“Join me.”

It wasn’t a question, it was a need. You followed him as the screams were getting more and more intense and soon, he was totally swamped with pictures, autographs on t-shirts and caps, and gifts handed to him. In front of such euphoria, you came to his rescue, helping fans getting their merch signed, collecting the little books and letters for Charles’ to read later. You could see in their eyes how grateful they were and you tried your best to reciprocate the feeling. When they finally went out of the paddock, you were both tired, but happy. Charles swung his arms around your frame and leaned into you. Once in the comfort of the crowd, he faced you, suddenly serious. 

Here you were, a Ferrari’s cap on your head, eyes shimmering with pride and happiness, rosy cheeks and a smile that hadn’t left since he had come back. It hit him. You belonged with him. You belonged in his life, around his friends and his family, in the garage, in his car, in his apartment. You belonged everwhere he was. 

“I love you,” he blurted out. 

“I love you too,” you replied, your fingers tracing his jaw. 

“No, I don’t think you understand. I’m in love with you. I’m in awe of what you are and I don’t believe that you are mine. There is not one fiber in my body that has fully proceeded that you chose me. But, I swear, If I have to spend the rest of my life trying to be worthy of you, then it is something that I’ll do gladly. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy.”

“I know. And I can promise you that I’ll do the same. I intend to make this, us, work. Because I truly believe you’re the love of my life, Leclerc.”

That night, as the moonlight was reflecting on your face, Charles couldn’t help a feeling of guilt to snake around his guts. You hadn’t complained about following him around, he knew you were happy with it, but he also couldn’t miss how you had, countless times, glanced at the media section of the paddock and he swore he had caught a look of longing in your eyes. You wouldn’t say it but he knew how you missed your job. And despite saying that you could find something else, that it was all okay, he knew you would never be as happy as you were in a F1 paddock, a media pass hanging around your neck. He was deadly serious when he had told you he would do anything for you. And anything started with talking to your old boss. 

Author's note: And I'm back! It feels good to be there and to finally uplaod. I feel like I haven't done that in ages. I still don't know how regular I'll be so bear with me.

Don't hesitate to leave a comment or an ask, as well as reblogging and leaving a like. Besides the fact that I absolutely love to read you, it helps a lot for the story to find its audience. I also have a taglist for this story, so if you want to be added so you never miss a chapter, let me know.

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[indierpgnewsletter]

A Sociology of Tabletop Roleplaying Games

Every once in a while, one must embrace hubris.

Let’s start with play. Play is an important part of life – mentally, spiritually, emotionally, physiologically, grammatically. It has uses. As a child, it helps with learning and growth. As an adult, it helps with not being sad all the time. But people don’t play because it’s useful. People play because it feels good to do – because it’s enjoyable, pleasurable, delightful.

The big joys for me are winning, risk-taking, solving, mastery, socializing, performance, storytelling, humour, novelty and catharsis. If you want a more in-depth list, it’s hard to do better than Levi Kornelsen’s Manyfold, which lists 17 different kinds of fun. But even that list is thinking about RPGs specifically and if you start including stuff like sports or sex or crafting, the list probably gets longer.

What I like about Kornelsen’s Manyfold is that it makes sure to focus on the fact that these are joys, not types of people. Which avoids 90% of the most annoying arguments.

Based on what kinds of enjoyment they’re chasing and what they’re avoiding, people make games. People connect with games that evoke their preferred kinds of enjoyment and fun. This leads to people making games that build on what came before in different ways – specializing, generalizing, forking, mutating, etc.

They also lead to cultures of play. These cultures are social infrastructure – values and practices that congeal around certain places or communities aimed at certain combinations of joys. These cultures develop norms and then expectations. Also, they tend to spawn sub-cultures constantly and immediately, often consciously defined in opposition to their roots. The three that I refer to most in this newsletter are trad, storygames, and OSR.

Trad play culture, the dominant play culture, is best understood as a specific model of player and GM roles and responsibilities. According to Retired Adventurer, “Trad holds that the primary goal of a game is to tell an emotionally satisfying narrative, and the DM is the primary creative agent in making that happen – building the world, establishing all the details of the story, playing all the antagonists, and doing so mostly in line with their personal tastes and vision. The PCs can contribute, but their contributions are secondary in value and authority to the DM’s.” In terms of joy, I feel like that the trad play style is defined by not specializing in specific forms of enjoyment and allowing groups to “wander” (as Kornelsen puts it in Manyfold) around from one kind of fun to another.

Storygames and OSR are both usually defined in opposition to trad. The storygames playstyle changes the trad model of GM-player by trying to make the GM more of a player. In terms of joy, the play style clusters around storytelling, performance, and risk-taking with less emphasis on solving or winning.

The OSR is an umbrella term of play cultures that accept older forms of d&d as a kind of lingua franca of roleplaying. They veer away from the trad model by eliminating the GM’s responsibility for a satisfying narrative (and resulting knock-on effects). In terms of joy, there’s a spectrum of cultures that vary in their emphasis on solving, winning, humour, and risk-taking.

There are probably an infinite number of potential cultures of play but some are particularly visible because they lead to design cultures (where games are made for a specific culture) and become markets (where game-sellers target cultures to reach customers).

In terms of design traditions, trad, storygames and OSR have their own norms which create a feedback loop with the play cultures associated with them.

Trad games are often built around detailed settings, involved character creation, and often tactical combat. They tend to avoid specificity in narrative, preferring to let the GM decide or use (often very specific) adventure modules.

Storygames tend to focus on specific narratives or scenarios and rules designed to support those outcomes exclusively. Settings tend to be co-created amongst the player and the GM and are thus, often improvised rather than prepared beforehand.

The OSR has a DIY ethos that values creativity and ease-of-use in setting and scenario design. So while settings are concrete, rule sets, while plentiful, tend to be improvised.

And markets, well, you know ’em.

That’s quite enough from me. I assume this kind of post can do no good but I typed it out anyway.

(This post was first published in the Indie RPG Newsletter.)

[emmitaaa4]

Getting exponentially tired of the “elriels want 👹” posts in the elain tags where they proceed to either A) outright invent stuff B) act holier than thou about how they care so much for Elain because they C) misconstrue the little they hear from our side in bad faith, or D) just completely miss the point they’re addressing.

it’s one thing to be bitter about a ship, but geez theyre getting mad at generalizations they made up about what we think. it has to be tiring. non?

small rant beneath, just to vent. yes i know i can (& should) block certain tags, but reading frustrating content is a hobby of sorts.

Im genuinely convinced all these “ewriel”-myths they keep talking about are a result of a bad game of telephone—they hear a random thing a gwynriel says, go “they’re all stupid/delusional/immature (insult of choice) so i don’t doubt what you’re saying”, then repeat it to others.

It’s obvious by the way they wholeheartedly believe that Elain is our puritanical-warrior-self-insert we use to vicariously F Azriel (😃✋). Doesn’t help that they usually don’t look as deeply into Elain as we do & tend to get stuck on obviously superficial statements about her: they cannot seem to fathom an Elain that isn’t just a once-bright socialite wilting away sans her sun-mate. So any hint of darkness/savviness we see in her is just us moulding her into Y/N. sigh

anyways.

I can say i’ve read their posts on here, a ton prior to being involved and some now. I’ve seen their tiktoks & video essays, their powerpoints & reddit posts. i’ve seen their comments all over insta/tiktok (kinda hard to miss, they jump on elriel content with their “um shadows and um pliable bones and mates!!” comments). I am WELL aware of what the general consensus is on that side—which is why I am generally unbothered by GA, don’t mind EL, and am just peacefully sailing aboard my ship waiting for it to reach destination.

And because I care about Elain’s journey, I try to see the story the way they do when i encounter certain elucien arguments. For if i am to even just privately engage in the sHip wArs, i know to remain ✨critical✨ and ✨open minded✨.

… there’s no point turning discussions into angry posts against imaginary adversaries.

EVERY elriel i’ve talked to would read an elucien book because it is Elain’s story we are most anticipating. It’s just very telling to me that very few would do the same; that there’s not a whiff of willingness from most of them to listen to the other side.

The funny thing is that all those anti eWrieL posts** i’ve read tend to address twisted versions of “the elriel narrative.” They take things out of context, or say we have the same 3 arguments—which is genuinely insane bc if you know our ship so well, how can you be off by like 2 orders of magnitude ??? (exaggerating if it wasn’t clear, we can’t know these days).

** Their pro GA content reads very anti-Az, used to be very anti-elain, and has a narrow scope ngl. While the bonus matters, it seems like that is ALL they’ve read. They don’t think much about Elain’s journey or powers or decisions, which is just logically not the best way to analyze the series given she IS what’s to come.

✨Just some common myths they believe✨:

they repeatedly claim that elriels want poor elain to be a kickass warrior torturer to fit Az because they A) don’t actually read our stuff B) enjoy thinking we hate elain, and C) can’t fanthom that spying isn’t 007 ninja activities.

apparently we ship elriel because we think they have this big great romance OFF PAGE 😭. how in the hell— i’ll make a post on this one istg it’s lowkey funny. quick, were nessian strangers and unfeeling towards each other at the start of SF ???? damnit i must’ve missed that.

En tout cas. End of rant the rest stays in the drafts lmao.

but istg one day i’ll cave in and unleash the essays of rebuttals and psychoanalyses of their arguments / thought processes just for shit and giggles.

[letruyuread]

I've decided to continue the small thoughts thing, even if I haven't done their books yet. Some might be ooc. I've tried🥲

Vil knows he's beautiful. With makeup, without, in a gorgeous outfit or simple sweats. It just means a little bit more when you tell him he's gorgeous and he wasn't even trying. He just woke up, and you're already showering him with affection. He IS gorgeous- but could you say it one more time, please?

Rook... hold on. (Rapid fire research go!) He, of course, thinks you're beautiful. He may be stalkerish, like he is with Leona and the twins, but it's all in good intentions. You're interesting! He is a hunter, after all. I think his heart softens when you pay attention to him, to. Say something to him in French, or listen to his poetry. Compliment his eyesight. He'll fall a little bit harder. (Can you tell how much I relied on the wiki-)

I already love Epel, despite not having met him yet. He wants to be reliable for you- a real man! Yes, he's adorable, don't tell him that, he'll pout. Just let him help you. Anything, really, he'll carry your books or help you fix up Ramshackle. He'll get flustered in you ask him to teach you the apple-carving thing, though.

Idia was the one who got me to play the game (just like me fr). You'll have to befriend Ortho first- not hard, just find the little guy and be nice! He'll quickly start to see you as an older sibling the more you help him (please I want to adopt this kid). And, you're the perfect person to help his brother come out of his shell! Ortho will introduce you two, help Idia overcome his shyness (on occasion) and soon Idia's comfortable around you! Mission accomplished! Idia, then, lets you into his room and plays games with you. He tries to communicate with you, though them- it's just a bit easier to play a dating sim with you than to ask you out.

(oof fae time)

Malleus is awkward in an odd way. He's not shy or nervous, he simply doesn't know how to interact with you. He's trying, forgive him if he says the wrong thing, he never ever meant to insult you. In fact, he might already think you're betrothed- you'll have to put it to him gently that you weren't even dating, and that relationships usually go much slower than that. He learns quick, at least.

Lilia is old. That is undeniable, and it's funny to think he's going to college with his sons. He plays into his silliness, loving to surprise you and prank you and such. He loves to play into his age, too. Whenever you get a bit too mad, he's suddenly complaining about his back, all hunched over and holding his spine. See through his antics. Give him the scolding he deserves, I beg you. It won't stop him at all- this is how faes court, after all! (No it's not old man-)

Sebek is intense. He does exactly as he said he would when taking an interest in someone: writing them love letters every moon, and every fifth moon, including a picture of himself. It's what Lilia taught him! Yes, he's taking it very seriously! It's up to you to tell him Lilia may have been tricking him... and/or taking over the courting yourself. You'll never get anywhere, otherwise. Just be... patient.

Silver... is tired. Yes, such a surprise. He's a sweetie, though, always trying to help you out while stifling a yawn. His animal friends give you gifts, too. Nuts and seeds and feathers. Keep them in a small box- if Silver finds out, he'll be so touched. He told his friends to give you this stuff! And you kept them! Did you even realize they were from him? Doesn't matter, as long as they made you happy.

(I hope I did well!)