#this child has more rage that a chihuahua

[angels-and-demons]

Nico, son of a god/the head Underworld judge: Laws are made for everyone; we're treated all the same.

Cody, a Gen Z anarchist: Till a lawyer's tricks can fix the blame.

Nico: Cody, no-!

Cody: Let the corporations make the regulations, and hold no one accountable when everything goes wrong

Nico: kid-!

Cody: Let the rich and famous get away with murder!

Nico: I-!

Cody: Every time a high-priced

Mouth-piece starts to talk, his client gets to walk

Nico:

Cody: Tell me, where is the justice? If there’s any justice

[lovebugism]

can I request steeb calming down shy!reader after having a panic attack? maybe she gets overwhelmed with how many people are around and just kinda breaks down?

hi anon! thank you so much for your request!! tw for mentions of panic attacks

You’re grateful Eddie let you ride out your panic attack in the back of his van — even if it did come on right before his show.

You can hear the muffled metal music from where you sit in the back lot of The Hideout. You swear you can feel the ground vibrating from the pounding drums and screeching guitar. Or maybe that’s just you, trembling like a leaf or like a chihuahua that has more anxiety than can fit in its tiny body. 

“It’s okay,” Steve murmurs to you for the hundredth time. His chest is pressed into your shoulder, and his mouth is right next to your ear. He wants to make sure his assurances don’t get lost in the war raging in your head. “You’re good, okay? I promise. You’re aces, babe.”

He sits with you in the open trunk of the van, your legs dangling off the back of it. He’s wrapped one of Eddie’s blankets around your shoulders, too. The handmade quilt smells like cigarette smoke and woody cologne and boyhood. The foreign scent doesn’t ease your panic, but it doesn’t make it worse either. It does, however, quell your full-body shivers.

You lean your weight against the boy beside you as you take in uneven, ragged breaths. 

Steve, strong enough to hold you up in more ways than one, wraps one arm around your shoulder and uses his free one to grasp your clammy hands. He lets you dig crescent-shaped marks into his skin instead of your own.

“I can’t catch my breath,” you rasp, gripping his hands tighter. I feel like I’m dying, is what you really want to say.

“I know, I know. It feels like that, but you’re okay. I promise,” the boy coos to you. His lips press into the crown of your head and linger there. “Try and match my breathing if you can, okay? Yours is going way too fast right now. That’s why you’re panicking.”

His chest rises against your cheek with a deep inhale and stills for a moment. His exhale is warm against your forehead when his chest deflates again.

You try your best to mimic it, breathing in through your nose and out through your mouth in time with him, but yours aren’t as confident as his. Mostly because you’re pretty sure your throat will tighten at any moment, and you’ll stop breathing altogether. 

But the way Steve holds you is warmer than the blanket he’s curled you in. You feel less like you’re inching toward your grave. 

Eventually, you start to focus on the rise and fall of his chest. And the smell of his cologne, musky and sweet. And the freckle on the wrist of the hand he holds you with — you’ve never noticed it before now.

You forget you were ever panicking in the first place.

“There you go,” Steve lilts quietly to you. He smooths a wide hand up and down your arm. You feel his smile curl into your hair. “Told ya. You’re perfect, babe.”

He tries to pull back from you to see more of your face, but you only press further against him when he tries. The wave hasn’t yet passed, he figures, the panic still eats at you and you don’t feel totally safe yet. Like a child with a make-believe boogeyman in their closet, he lets you cuddle into him like a life-sized teddy bear.

“You’re okay?” he murmurs.

You’re not sure yet. You nod anyway. “Yeah,” you answer, quiet and fragile. “I’m okay.”

“What was freaking you out, huh? Was it the music? Was it too loud?”

You shake your head against his shoulder.

“Was it that asshole that bumped into you?” he asks, getting angry about it all over again. 

“Kinda. There was just… a lot going on. Too many people, you know? I wasn’t— I wasn’t prepared,” you sniffle.

Steve sighs against you. A tender hand squeezes your arm. “I know. I’m sorry, babe. I really didn’t expect that many people to show up to a Corroded Coffin show—”

“That’s mean…” you lilt quietly.

He can’t see you, but he can hear the smile in your voice. It makes him smile, too.

“It’s Eddie, babe. I mean, this crowd is totally gonna get to his head.”

“Well, he deserves it. He’s been practicing for ages.”

“Yeah, but he’s gonna be insufferable after this.”

“You always think he’s insufferable.” His heart swells when you giggle.

Steve sighs. “Yeah…”

Your fingers start to toy with his larger ones — a sure sign that you’re coming back down again. They don’t shake as much as they did before. “I think he’s alright.”

“Yeah, because he’s nice to you.”

“Well, maybe if you were nice to him, he’d be nice to you.”

“Me? Nice to Munson?” he scoffs. “That sounds like a terrible idea.”

You pull back from him, smiling softly despite all the reasons you have not to. The remnants of your anxiety still show on your face — glassy eyes, dried tears, panic-bitten mouth. But you beam at him, anyway.

“You’re such a meanie,” you tease, weak but trying to sound strong.

Steve nods with a wide grin. 

“The meanest,” he assures as he holds you closer. He looks so tenderly down at you, features soft despite looking like they’ve been carved out of stone. His honey eyes are made darker by the night, but they twinkle brightly as he gazes at you. “And you’re the prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.”

Your nose scrunches, taking obvious disdain with his compliment. 

“I take it back. You’re not a meanie, you’re a sap.”

Again, he nods. “It’s only ‘cause I love you,” he defends, rubbing the tip of his nose along the bridge of yours. He doesn’t know if you’re ready for a kiss just yet.

“That’s gross,” you murmur, peering at him from beneath your lashes. “…I love you, too.”

“I know, you do… It’s ‘cause of the hair, isn’t it?”

Your bottom lip is pulled slowly between your teeth — not to bite it like you usually do when you’re anxious, but to conceal the smile tugging at your mouth as you nod. Your tired eyes flit up to his intentionally messy hair. You rake a hand through the chocolate strands, mussing it further.

“Yeah. Who cares about having a boyfriend that takes care of you when he’s got good hair?”

“Idiots,” he scoffs. “That’s the kinda people who care about that sort of thing.”

Your hand settles on his scruffy jaw. Your thumb brushes the apple of his cheek. “How does it feel to be shacked up with an idiot then, huh?”

Steve grins down at you. “Like heaven.”

[cocogum]

The Great Wave - Chapter 6 Review

‼️SPOLERS FOR THE CHAPTER‼️

Warning(s): extreme use of foul language, aurora slander, mentions of racism, i’m cyber bullying an osamodas

So chapter 6 came out…

And I’m not happy.

Not one bit.

Blue cow: “You sadidas are so impressionable…”

Sadidas are impressionable?? Tf are you even talking about?? What are they impressionable about?? This sad excuse that you call a companion screeched and it scared the shit out of that woman. What did you think was gonna happen??? “YoU PeOPLe ARe So ImPrESsIOnAbLE” I’m gonna eat animals right in front of your face and feed them to you like a bird. You know what they’re not, Aurora? They’re people who aren’t scared of facing death more than once you fucking sad excuse of a pro-animal blue-skinned wretch.

She looks way too cocky in this shot. You wanna go back to the war, little bitch? Let’s see if you’ll keep smiling like that.

Did I mention I fucking hate Aurora?

This actual cunt is more worried about some ugly crusty bat bird than an actual human being are you fucking kidding me.

Blue cow: “Give that to me, you’ll scare him!”

Sadida servant: “I’m sorry, mistress…”

This is the very same woman who fled the people she was supposed to “lead” who called a servant, that did not belong to her, an idiot.

Are you fucking kidding me.

Blue cow: “Go fetch some water, idiot, the little one is dying of thirst…”

Sadida servant: “Alright, mistress…”

Yeah, your ugly bat is probably thirsty CUZ YOU SHOVED HIM IN A CHEST BEFORE YOU CAME HERE YOU FUCKING DUMBA-

She had also mentioned how her future son would inherit this monstrosity of a bat.

Sorry folks, but I was wrong, she actually is pregnant. Before chapter 6 had been released, I went on this full rant about how Aurora had actually lied to Amalia and the others and wasn’t expecting a child. But now that we’ve seen the Osamodas king talking privately to Aurora and claiming to be worried for her because she was pregnant, I unfortunately have to accept the fact that she is carrying a child.

This chapter made sure that we got a better shot at her belly which has a slight rounder edge to it.

Like I would genuinely rather have a raging chihuahua ready to gnaw my flesh than whatever the fuck this is.

Blue cow: “You will make a wonderful companion for my child!”

But to think about the positives, we at least have no idea if this blue-skinned dumbass thinks that she’s carrying an osamodas or a sadida.

For those who don’t know, the beast she’s holding is called a “skrot” (or “kougnard” in French). These beats originally came from Ecaflipus, the Ecaflip God’s dimension. Their main use is transportation but they can also be used as your companion. That means that anyone can just use them, you don’t necessarily have to be an osamodas to get one.

The skrot Aurora has at hand is a newborn so she was prepared to give her future child a companion. I think Aurora clearly meant that even if her child ends up being a Sadida, she will still give the beast to them since a skrot can be pretty useful every now and then.

So there is no evidence that she is expecting the child to be an osamodas. I think either way, she’ll be indifferent if the child ends up being a sadida or an osamodas. If they end up being a sadida, I bet it’ll just make her reminisce about Armand and love them even more (cuz omg this bitch can’t stop making everything about the Sadida kingdom about Armand).

Cow king: “Your priority now, is for you to be liked…”

Aurora just insulted a servant. She couldn’t even hold her tongue. How the fuck do you expect her to hear the daily sadida complaints??? Omg this “family” should go back to their circus they’re making me physically gag.

Blue cow: “If they think I’m just going to stand there and do nothing…”

Gurl shut the fuck up and sit your ass down no one is angry that you’re not there with them. Bitch is over here turning into McFry chicken as if she’s an actual menace. Literally go get yourself eradicated.

Stop breathing, you skank. Echo did the wing transformation far better than you.

But yeah, go ahead and ruin this interracial marriage with your stupid reasoning. Go ahead and get your ass kicked by the god-king and the experienced adventurous princess. Go ahead and try to fight them with your inexperienced fighting self. Go ahead and make every sadida realize that you didn’t fight in the war because of your pregnancy but you’re perfectly capable of fighting two rulers while pregnant. Go ahead and fight in a dress and an ugly crusty bat, yeah, I’M SURE you’ll win and won’t make yourself look like a demented moron.

Her dad should’ve honestly let her go “fight” (cuz let's be honest Yugo and Amalia would have ANNIHILATED her without even batting an eye) them instead of telling her common sense so we could get rid of her much more quickly.

Blue cow: “But I am perfectly capable of controlling my emotions!”

A second earlier: *insulted a servant for being scared of a screeching bat*

A second later: *almost attempted to crash a wedding just because she saw a sadida with an eliatrope*

I would rather hang out with freaking Julith, a known terrorist, than to even be near this sad excuse of a royal. Actually, I’ve got something better: I would rather spend a full week in the necrome world than be around her.

If you care about being the queen of this land, then why the fuck are you insulting the servants??? Yeah, that’ll make them show you respect! They’ll definitely like you for sure! They will definitely not go to Amalia, the very same person who they’ve known for their whole lives.

Stop yapping on your own you cow, your existence is already sad as fuck.

And now she’s over here having a problem with a sadida and an eliatrope marrying.

Great, we just found out she’s an actual racist now too. What’s next?

Blue cow: “A sadida and an eliatrope?!”

Armand was racist towards Eliatropes, sure, but he was at least hating because he can make options of his own (even though his opinions were shit-). While Aurora over here just hates them cuz her late husband hated them??? Wtf??? Is she that empty-headed that she’ll just follow whatever other people are hating? She doesn’t even have the intelligence to hate things for her own reasons??? Is she that much of a trophy wife???

Blue cow: “My Armand would have never permitted this!”

Blue cow: “He hated the eliatropes!”

Omg this bitch is actually clinically dumb there is no way. At what point are you so mentally constipated that your likes and dislikes depend on what other people like and dislike???

She was saying how Armand would have never accepted the eliatropes so therefore she hates the idea of them being here as well.

Blue cow: “This little pest is not wasting time!”

Blue cow: “In only a few months, she had given some funny ideas to my subjects…”

If Armand told you he hates Osamodas, would you also hate your own kind???

I literally don’t get it.

Blue cow: “She spends her time showing off the traditions of the sadidas though…”

Uh yeah, so what?

Amalia is into the Sadida traditions as she should because she’s a sadida.

But just because she practices her culture, that doesn’t mean she cuts off other races????

Like what???

Aurora talks as if the sadidas have never brought other races inside their kingdom before. RACES LIKE HER.

Did she never know how King Oakheart used to be??? The sadidas, have more than once, accepted people that weren’t their own kind. They have taken in two cras from an infamous assassin. They sculpted a statue of a iop and gave him the title of “Savior of the Sadidas”. They welcomed an eliatrope and his twin dragon into the kingdom by giving him a guest room, told him that they would welcome his family, and even let him marry their princess.

How…are you this constipated to not have known this before?

Wait it has only been a few months since Season 4 so wouldn’t these two newlyweds technically be considered the second recorded interracial couple in history to have a twelvian and non-twlevian together?

“Long live the bride and groom!!!”

Omg this would also mean this was Amalia’s first time marrying a couple!!

I just want to highlight that @onyichii was the one who initially suggested that the marriage could have been between a sadida and an eliatrope, and it turns out they were correct. I had previously believed that the eliatropes aged slowly like the primordial ones, which is why they couldn't have been able to get married with someone who already looks like an adult, so I didn't think one of them could have been getting married. However, it turns out that only the Council of Six ages as slowly as dragons. The female Eliatrope in question is clearly a grown woman, and the Great Wave is set to occur right after Season 4, just a couple of months later.

In Season 4, it's possible that the elite eliatropes all looked the same due to budget constraints at Ankama. This could explain why they all wore identical clothes, colors, and were the same height.

Now let’s talk about Amalia again and how she killed it!!

Our queen CARRIED the ceremony so perfectly and elegantly!!

Look at her, she’s so experienced already!

Yugo is looking at her as she’s doing her thing. He’s so proud to have her 💕💕 omg I can’t 😭😭 LOOK AT HIM SMILING AT HIS WIFEY‼️‼️😩😩💖💖💖💖❤️❤️❤️❤️

I'm glad to see that there's no drama between the sadidas and eliatropes at the celebration, as Amalia and Yugo have enough on their plate. Amalia had to resolve a conflict between them this morning, so it's good to see the two races getting along here.

If we take a closer look at them, a good majority of the sadidas look young so maybe the new generation has a much faster and easier time accepting the eliatropes than the older generation.

And here is the part that immediately cuts off the fun entirely.

The poisoning.

During the lively event, a female Sadida was seen carrying a platter with two drinks, which she handed to Yugo and Amalia before leaving. Her sudden appearance and departure raised questions about her identity and origin. Despite this, no one seemed to pay much attention to her, possibly assuming she was a servant due to her role in serving the king and queen.

Unlike Aurora and her father, however, I actually would like to know what her deal is. Like I’m genuinely curious to know what could have been the reason to want to poison the king and queen.

Because yes, she didn’t just want to poison Yugo. She also wanted to poison Amalia.

The Osamodas king informed Aurora that he had been aware for weeks of the upcoming interracial marriage between a sadida and an eliatrope in the Sadida kingdom.

Blue cow: “A marriage?! And no one told us?!”

Cow king: “We’ve known for weeks, my daughter.”

But Aurora had no idea about it.

If Aurora, the wife of the late Sadida king, did not receive an invitation or any notification about the Sadida kingdom's upcoming marriage celebration, it raises questions about how the Osamoda king became aware of the event. Aurora's absence during the war could be the reason why they did not invite her but it remains unclear how her father came to know about the wedding.

This can only mean one thing.

The Sadida kingdom may have multiple spies who could have warned the Osamodas king. It is possible that the female Sadida who poisoned Yugo was not the only one willing to go to such lengths to get rid of the king. If she holds such a strong grudge, it is strongly possible that there could be other Sadidas who share the same sentiment.

By the way, it still surprises me that Amalia could have been poisoned too. How else would she have known that her cup had poison in it before trying to warn Yugo? The whole reason why Yugo had been targeted was because he wasn’t like them. So to have a sadida try to also poison the last member of the royal Sheran Sharm family is very off-putting.

Amalia knows her plants and remedies so the reason as to why she immediately thought something was up was probably because she either smelled something very deadly about the cup she was holding or she had a very strong gut feeling.

Either way, she dodged a bullet from not drinking it. Unlike Yugo who could survive this, Amalia would have likely died from the drink (the results would have made her look like how she did in Yugo’s nightmare, choking to death).

This is what I mean when I say I want to know more about this sadida servant.

We know she’ll make a reappearance because we can see her on the cover of the 10th chapter of volume 1.

I just don’t see why poisoning Amalia would have been a great idea. Because if she did die, who would replace her? Like I said, she’s the last member of the royal sadida family so was the female servant prepared to see Aurora replace her?? Why?? Is it because the sadida doesn’t like Amalia’s beliefs? To a point where she’d be fine seeing an osamodas replace her???

Man, Amalia has it rough. She knew that some of her people wouldn’t be pleased with having the eliatropes here but I bet she never imagined she would have almost gotten poisoned by one of her subjects.

Also what the fuck is the Osamodas king’s deal here?

If the sadida servant does work for him (for some reason), then he expected Yugo to have gotten poisoned. Okay, I get that part. So he wants Yugo to die because he’s too powerful to have him around.

So why did he tell Aurora that they were going to have to wait until they make sure the sadidas don’t trust Yugo anymore??

Cow king: “This pretentious little Yugo has powers beyond imagination…”

Cow king: “He is the one who we must succeed in getting rid of.”

Cow king: “And the only way to do that is to turn the sadidas against him.”

By doing what?? Poison him??? What???? How will that make the sadidas not trust Yugo anymore?? They just witnessed him coughing and bleeding like crazy. And they just heard Amalia scream that he’d gotten poisoned. The only thing they’d wanna do right now is help him, not run away from him. In fact, after Yugo gets healed, they’d be very understanding if the Eliatrope king tries to distance himself from them because he had just been fucking poisoned by one of them.

This is some deep clown behavior right here.

Anyways, these blue-skinned clowns are giving me too much of a migraine to keep up with their bullshit. That sadida servant looks more entertaining than them because she at least did the work and expected Yugo to instantly die instead of whatever the fuck the Osamodas king is expecting to happen.

After the incident at the wedding, it's possible to claim that the Osamodas king has spies within the kingdom. It's likely that he convinced some sadidas to join him in his disdain for Yugo, gaining their support. The sadida woman in question may be one of these spies, potentially acting on her own agenda as well. Although she doesn't appear to harbor the same malice towards Yugo as the royal Osamodas family, her anger is evident, as seen in her expression on the cover of the last chapter.

Either way, I hope we get to know more about her later on. Also, I’m pretty sure Amalia didn’t focus too much on the unnamed Sadida’s face when she handed them the drinks so it’s possible she wouldn’t be able to identify who the assassin was in the next chapter.

In the meantime, while we’re waiting for the continuation, let’s just enjoy Yugo’s suffering ✨✨

I swear there’s nothing personal about me wanting to see him like this it’s just that ever since I’ve seen him tied up on the ground shirtless and screaming in pain, I’ve been wanting to see more 😤😭

I can’t wait to see more in the next chapters 😍🥰🥰

But seriously no joke, this is not looking good for Amalia. The poor girl had recently experienced the loss of her father and her brother. On top of that, her husband Yugo, whom she had shared so much with ever since they were both little, was now coughing up blood from poison, adding to her distress. Even Yugo's wakfu wings appeared to be affected, suggesting a connection between their condition and his overall health.

Just look at the sheer horrified panic in Amalia’s eyes as she could only stare down at him, feeling completely powerless.

I wouldn’t even blame her if she lost it then and there. Yugo is literally her only family left. So to have an unknown enemy (since she still doesn’t know who could have done this) do this to her on a day that is supposed to take the stress of everyday life away must be incredibly traumatic for her.

Amalia: “The king has been poisoned!!!”

Also when you think about it, Yugo and Amalia’s cute kiss in this panel might as well have been their last kiss together if they both drank their drinks. It would’ve been over for them because Amalia would have instantly died. Yugo, on the other hand, will survive this but not without any damage to the body and brain.

I really wanna know what happens now it’s only been 6 days and I’m getting stressed out. I hate how the chapter ended, I NEED MORE.

[mysoncookie]

BNHA Dabi-Centric fic recs

Artificial Parenthood, Affectionate Brotherhood by cereal_whore

Teen & Up, Gen, No Archive Warnings

Available on Ao3, On Going | Wordcount: 208,780

Has an On Going Series Called "Dabi says fuck the human species: artificial natural selection addition"

Summary: 22-year-old dabi switches place with ten-year-old touya todoroki in their timeline Bakugou, a single child with the social skills of an apathetic gamer, runs into a cellular mass of anxiety that vibrates the same murderous rage of a chihuahua. Said kid is as problematic as Bakugou himself, is a ginger, does not fear the laws of this land, and doesn't even seem to be from this land- or more accurately, time. Between Bakugou's homicidal urges, Todoroki Shouto's lack of filter, and God's middle finger, lies the Pandora's Box of the Todoroki's household secrets, in the form of a child named Touya Todoroki, who hates fish and has never heard of Minecraft. Todoroki Shouto just wants joint custody over his own older brother who's now inexplicably ten-years-old. So clearly, the only effective solution would be to force Bakugou to adopt him and all his other siblings. Meanwhile, Dabi, still in a world that never wanted him, learns that maybe an old dog can't learn new tricks (a truth he realises, when he finds himself reunited with a nine-year-old Shigaraki, who might not be past saving, the way he will be a decade later).

Lay Me on a Pyre (Sacrifice me for your sins) by RadioSilencer

General Audience, Gen, No Archive Warnings Apply

Available on Ao3, On Going | Wordcount: 29,126

Summary: “Ah, and I hate to do this to you, but there’s a couple questions we have to ask since you’re awake now. Is that all right?” Wondering why his input was needed for that, Touya nodded. Anything they wanted. Whatever he could do to be less of an embarrassment. “Okay then, tell me if you need a moment whenever,” the woman started, “your name.” “Todoroki.” Even if he wished it wasn’t (and everyone else probably did too). “Todoroki Touya.” (A bystander loses control, and Todoroki Touya opens his eyes to a brighter world than he left behind.)

By Any Other Name by SatelliteBlue

Teen & Up, M/M, No Archive Warnings Apply

Available on Ao3, Complete | Wordcount: 258,617

Has an On Going series called "Will you accept this rose?"

Summary: Through some freak accident of the universe, Dabi has been invited to compete on The Bachelorette. Have they actually seen his face? Surprisingly yes, and they still want him. For this season they apparently need a ‘bad boy’ to both balance out the hero contestant (why in hell is Hawks involved?) and to trash talk the show in interviews to appeal to audiences who don’t like the scripting. Getting sent on a vacation away from his annoying bandmates to complain and eat as much free food as he wants? Sold.

The Difference Between an Heir and a Son by ofHeartmateAndSoulbeats

General Audience, Gen, No Archive Warning Apply

Available on Ao3, On Going | Wordcount: 11,774

Summary: ...because if Enji had ever loved any of his children, it would have been Touya

Brother by Dreamy_Cel_100

Teen & Up, M/M, Graphic Depictions of Violence

Available on Ao3, Complete | Wordcount: 79,561

Summary: Todoroki Touya has never known comfort. He just didn’t realize he wasn’t the only one. Or When Touya runs away, he decides to take his kid brother. And instead of joining villainy he attempts to create the home he never had.

Sins of the Father by kanekki

Teen & Up, M/M, No Archive Warnings Apply

Available on Ao3, Complete | Wordcount: 32,411

Has a Complete Series called "the hellish todoroki family"

Summary: Shouto’s lower lip wobbles as he cries. “M-Momma hurt me and Father sent her away. I m-miss you Touya, please come home. It’s scary without you.”

“Alright,” Dabi says soothingly while he glares at the heroes, “We’re going to my place then. Your nii-san’s going to protect you now, okay?”

Shouto is accidentally rewound by Eri’s quirk in the middle of a villain attack, reverting him to a small child with no memories of his future. Dabi takes the opportunity to bring Shouto with him to the League of Villains headquarters to remove him from Endeavor’s clutches.

little brother, we are all grieving by jurassicqueer (kukurosaki)

Mature, Gen, M/M, No Archive Warnings Apply

Available on Ao3, Complete | Wordcount: 29,561

Summary: When a teenager is dragged into a police station by someone with a self-proclaimed de-aging quirk, it seems too improbable that one of the most notorious villains in Japan could actually be reverted to a scrawny sixteen year old.

But then the blood tests come back, and the quirk labs hand in their results, and it seems that Dabi really is a teenager again- and claiming to be the dead Todoroki Touya, of all things.

OR: Touya never expected to wake up a wanted fugitive, but with his luck, he's hardly surprised.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

as per requested from my previous post I updated my fic recs on dabi and ofc I added the bachelorette au that y'all been talking about tnx to @attackontreason for recommending it ksksks

[eclipsewarrior101]

Fun Space Riders Zeus and Jack facts

(Warning these might implicate past abuse or trauma)

Space riders au belongs to @onyxonline

Jack is as small as a mini critter & Zeus is three times his height

Jack has a missing eye and wears an eye patch.

Jack loves to go into a southern cowboy accent when angry but it makes Zeus migraine him seriously.

Jack had at least 3 hidden weapons on him.

Zeus has the mindset of a child though he’s like 20. Yes he is smart but certain things confuse him ( cult didn’t want him to get smart and want to leave)

Thanks to @missparamelontea Zeus’s weapon is a frying pan. Jack gave it to him cause Zeus is too scared to hold a gun or knife.

Zeus refuses to use violence against anyone due to growing up in the cult. ( trauma)

Zeus can stretch at least 15 feet with his long leg limbs.

Jack drinks alcohol but not infront of Zeus.

Jack is like a Chihuahua when angry.

Zeus is a sugar hoarder. He will hide candy and eat it all unless Jack stops him. Cause once Zeus has candy in him he’s bouncing off the walls.

Zeus has a fear of people drinking.

Jack will listen to your problems but won’t admit his own.

Zeus refuses to to admit something is wrong cause he doesn’t want anyone to worry.

Zeus has a stuffed animal as a comfort toy cause he has anxiety attacks and he can get aggressive if not calmed down ( thinking like mommy long legs rage)

Zeus sounds like a squeaky toy when he screams.

I will add more or do a part two later.

If you have any questions dm me or send me an ask.

[grapecaseschoices]

Please tell me as much as possible about some of ur newest ocs. I must know more. 👀👀

Hehe hi anon. Did you see my mass reblogging?

I wanna tell you the world of them but 1. I'm tired 2. I'm getting over a cold. However, I shall do my best. Ty so much for the interest and the opportunity!

So both my newest tykes are for @disenchantedif [if you haven't tried it or even checked out the blog, I recommend! ESPECIALLY if you enjoy KOTSAM! A host of species to pick from, political and family drama, tragic... everything: backstories, present, future... a number of great ROs; but here MC can have history with q few. Though there is way more that MC is aware about, they ain't new to this.]

I have TWO semi [mostly] formed MCs for the game, and one who is just a FC and vibes [I also have a MC who's also just an FC and vibes for Dakota's other game @theunseelieif -- I THINK I may shoot Kendis at TU, I'm going to wait for a few more updates to be sure but I have already tested them in the first update and I Iiked how she clicked!]

So:

1, Tristan "Tis" TerreII; fc Logan Browning [subject t0 change] Species: Basilisk. Pronouns: Xe/Xem

Some tidbits I have highlighted in my gdocs of thoughts:

Gray eyes (like actually gray and not the human grey-blue), dark brown tightly curled hair that goes up to xe/xem shoulders.

Nightmares: Smoke

Lucien is xyr ex: Clearly friends to lovers is xyr fave trope

In love with xyr two best friends Viktor and Theo(dora)

Personalit thoughts: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tisiphone

StyIe Insp0: https://grapecaseschoices.tumblr.com/post/717310924472696832/game-of-style-gowns-for-queen-aemma-arryn , [maybe -], https://grapecaseschoices.tumblr.com/post/717332666113982464/sosuperawesome-embroidered-underbust-corsets

My first edition of Tristan had the nickname Trix, fc of Laura Harrier, and was a lot more jittery, stiff and serious, and likeIy to hide behind Viktor. Tis isn't -- confrontational but xe is Tired and not looking to run. Xe's an Adult and xe isn't going to go looking for xyr past but xe is not going to not face it if it comes xe's way. Xe has a mixture of Mature and just Done approach [but there is a deep latent teasing that Theo can draw out ... at the cost of poor Viktor.] That said, xe is also not that social [though xe isnt against a fun time].

I think xe knows xe is absolutely so so so into Viktor. Viktor [and maybe Theo] is probably the only one who doesnt know qwerweq2e. Xe is just fond of Theo -- ofc! Bc Theo is a loyal bff, even if she is a pain in xe's. Nothing else there! [pfft]

Xe is also very loyal to Viktor's famiy.

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/grapecaserps/disenchanted-tristan-tis-terrell/

2, Aleena Odeh [Nickname pending: But I Iike NeeIa]; fc Josie Totah, species: ????, pronouns: She/Her.

I haven't actually played with Neela yet. But I had the aesthetic and the possible ship [Penny!] and went from there. She is my cringefail child. My angry, cringefail womanTM. Bitter, bitter, bitter. Where Tis is Over It [highly very numb], Neela is seething to the point of corrosive. And probably violence. She's gonna make the besties squad WORK to love her, but in turn they will have her axe fist and not at all pithy comebacks. She is very protective of the little she has left.

I think she loves Viktor's family --- she just doesnt trust anymore. She has lost A LOT. She makes me cry and sad 12q3w4erew lol. Ima cry for her.

She is exhausted 25/6 and took the jitteryness of og Trix, except its less jumpy and more this caffiene and energy drink isnt that effective/is a chihuahua. It's the rage. But over ALL that is glitter and FUN!

Pinterest: https://www.pinterest.com/grapecaserps/disenchanted-aleena-odeh/

3, Nameless

I wanted a soff boy. I don't know, he is probably cis and bi. He will be in one of the Cam polyams bc I found that to be VERY funny.

The she is him. The mom is Talia. I mean he might surprise me, but I think he is the one most gung-ho about absorbing himseIf into Viktor's family; where as Neela is a cat fighting the bathtime and Tis still calls them Mr./Mrs. no matter how many times they contradict xem.

[goldenfreddys]

Love your headcanon tbh. Having studied developmental psych a decent while i really think William has some childhood based idealization of exerting authority over a child. Optimistically, he had high control parents, but realistically he was a means to an ends for his own parents good image during the early days of the baby boom (1945-65) when the domestic ideal rooted itself in Utah. This seems to be how he views children as a whole and at the very least how he views Michael by the events of Sister Location... Notably, Michael is also a boomer (likely born in the mid 60s) and likely a result of the same societal expectations of the time that led to his own fathers sordid existence. -@foxybro

In my mind's eye, William has always had kind of a wild temper, but once he became a father he got more comfortable externalizing it. He kinda power tripped with his ability to fly off the handle on Michael and not face consequences for it. His rage was no longer something that festered idly inside him as a reminder of his own futility. It was a weapon. It made people do what he wanted.

He allows this metamorphosis of rejection to wrath, this dizzying fury to lead his hand. A crime of passion. A little girl left out in the rain, helpless and scared.

in the context of the parmaverse specifically though William has to do all this 5D chess shit to avoid a direct physical struggle while killing Jeremy because he is too scared of getting his shit rocked by a 21 year old who listens to Weezer and has the nervous disposition of a stray chihuahua

[rogue-durin-16]

MATCHUP FOR:

@hawkinsroyaloutcast

I’m a 5’3 female. Gray-ace, biromantic. I have long red hair and blue eyes. I’m 18+.

I love wearing 50s style swing dresses and skirts. I have at least 2 and 1/2 dresses in that style and I say that because one of them needs stitching done xD. I love dressing and feeling pretty; if I could wear a dress/skirt every day of the week, I would. I’ve started to become a lot more secure in my clothing style very recently which I’m very proud of. I love looking pretty and feeling like a princess.

I’m extremely timid and quite insecure. I was diagnosed with autism about a year and a half ago and it has explained lot about who I am as person. I’m very much against cringe culture and bullying as someone who has suffered through it and does not want to see anyone else go through the same thing. I’m quite sarcastic and quirky when you eventually break down my walls enough to get to know me. Bit of a people pleaser/fawning coping mechanism. I try my best to be kind in every situation and to see light and good in the world.

I love music (will listen to pretty much anything but I have a soft spot for Disturbed, Evanescence, etc). Reading, writing (have been creating fanworks since I was a child), and horror. I really enjoy J-Horror. The Japanese Ringu series is my favourite. I can be kind shy when it comes to discussing my interests around new people but when I open up, I love to share those parts of myself with friends.

I absolute adore being creative, and daydreaming/fantasy.

From Stranger Things I Ship You With:

Eden Bingham

Ship Dynamic:

Sunshine x Broody™

Quote:

«Breath into me and make me real; bring me back to life.»

Having Eden Bingham as a girlfriend is literally having a Scary Dog Privilege™, but the scary dog in question is Chihuahua sized.

It'd be even funnier if she was shorter than you, but you're the same height??? Well, you know what? A friend of mine once said "I'm glad we're the same height because it's easier to kiss you" so you both being 5'3'' is actually an advantage.

Okay, wait, let's rewind a little, shall we?

You give off big Girl Next Door vibes so we're going down that road.

Eden Bingham, nonreligious raging bisexual living in a Mormon household and acting as a parental figure for who knows how many siblings, lives in a permanent state of stress and frustration.

We've stablished that you two are neighbors, but let's say your houses are fairly separated and you're new there.

Eden is chasing Cornelius because that little shit ran out of the house, and he somehow end getting to your backyard.

Naturally, seeing the scene, you get a hold of Cornelius before he can run any further just when Eden gets to him.

It takes her a moment to acknowledge you, but once she's finished scolding her sibling, this broody, angry queen spots you before her and she's left in shambles.

You let out a shy "Hi" and her breath gets caught up in her throat when she tries to greet you back.

Cue the most awkward small chat you're going to come across EVER. Eden goes back home literally SHAKING.

After some time and a LOT of self pep talks, she manages to find enough courage to go back and visit you. Just because. Definitely not because you're the prettiest girl Eden has seen.

This girl gives you the lamest excuses for her visits, but you don't mind because she's pretty and kind of scary and adorably awkward.

Bless her goth soul, this girl can't mask she has a crush on you to save her life. Like, the heart eyes she gives you when you're (bless YOUR shy soul) sheepishly telling her about your interests are visible all the way from Hawkins, Indiana.

Taking a leap of faith to kiss you is the bravest stunt Eden Bingham has pulled in her whole life (and she's pulled some ballsy shit, mind you), but she'd do it again because you're reaction was so pure.

Cue the cutest, funniest relationship anyone has ever come across.

One of Eden's favorite activities is seeing you doll up. She'll just sit there and watch you do your make up/dress up because it's just so wholesome.

Definitely lets you style her for shits and giggles.

Listening to Evanescence together>>>>>

Helping Eden sneak out to go to the theater and watch horror movies.

Matching each other's humor and sarcasm.

Brainstorming for your fanworks because Eden is very fucking creative and wild.

Eden blushes like crazy if you kiss her cheek, I'm calling it now.

She makes up for your timidness. This girl may be closed off but she's LOUD if she has to. Takes no shit from anyone.

Will cast her head down and smile when you refer to her as your girlfriend in any situation.

I headcanonned Eden as a witchy sapphic, so bear with me okay? That said, you come across as that one partner who will gift their witchy s/o rocks and plants.

Eden fucking ADORES when you bring her rocks. She could melt on the spot I'm not even kidding.

She saves up and buys you vintage dresses, partly because she knows you love them but also because she's a sucker for your style.

Will bite anyone who dares to say something negative about you. Watch your mouth or you'll catch this girl's ring clad fists.

Bringing the hidden sides of each other when you're together. For example, Eden can be super goofy around you, and her presence somehow turns you bolder.

I could go on for AGES about the two of you. Idk darling you two are just couple goals for any young sapphic out there.

[oddballtumbles]

Building a Percy Jackson OC in my head right now. Have not read the books in years, I plan to reread them, just can’t right now. But this just WON’T leave me alone.

(Adult language and shit btw)

Daughter of Hephaestus, her mom met him in her early 20s, girl is 7/12, mom was pregnant 7 times, multiple sets of twins. ALL of them are kids of Hephaestus, their house is basically warded against monsters because by the time the second set of twins were on their way, Mom had enough and made Hephaestus deal with it. Hades now has a state of the art fetch machine for Cerberus, and monsters don’t bother her family until she dies. (Spoiler alert, Momma achieves minor godhood eventually due to popular demand and the invention of … something I haven’t decided yet; but it accidentally causes no monsters to be able to go after her bloodline. EVER lol)

Daughter is NOT an engineer (most of her siblings are engineers, tech developers, etc) but is thorough in SASS, and is more of a tinker type. The kind of person who knows random stuff and always carries ducktape but is more likely to only quick fix then refer you to professional than actually fix the problem. Just because the crack is taped doesn’t mean the bucket is fixed.

Specific interaction that keeps popping in my head:

Aphrodite (mad about long relationship with her husband, taking it out on the child of said relationship that happens to be in front of her)

Daughter (full of sass and absolutely fucking done with any and all dieties who think they are above the modern world just because they deign to exist within it occasionally. She has read the texts and watched the OSP videos. Nope)

A: I can’t believe anyone would even last that long! What could there possibly be to interest her in him???

D: idk but I can tell you that she likes the chair. Admittedly if she sat in it less there’d be less of us soooo.

A: please I be he’s only paying attention because she is the only one to look back.

D: well seeing as I’m a combo of both of them and when I went to camp everyone tried to send me to your cabin I’m not sure what that says about your poor taste. Or maybe eyesight?

A: are you calling me old?

D: you are literally older than Greece. What do you want me to do with that?

A: you-

D: look I’m just going to say this. If you paid even half as much attention to the husband you say you don’t want as you do to the lover you jerk around like an angry chihuahua, I probably wouldn’t be in your face sassing you.

A: Zeus arranged-

D: Oh please don’t get me started on that slut. We will be here longer than my mother’s been pregnant. Idk why Hera doesn’t just divorce the walking penis. It is a thing that exists! Also her taking out her rage on the kids and victims of his philandering is just avoiding the problem and causing more grief for the rest of us. If it’s some sort role play they are doing, nobody else is consenting the involvement, they both need to stop.

(Shocked silence.)

D: oh please, I cannot be the first to come up with that.

A: I’m not sure whether to smite you or give you a job.

D: I’ve never been smote before! Unless we count that time in the metallurgy which we do not talk to mom about. I came back fine! Barely even counts!

——————

Idk if I want her to have a Greek name or just a random one. I feel like she would get along with PJ-Dionysius in a “let’s drink and get high” kinda way.

She definitely has slept in all the cabins for no reason other than she broke in and felt like it.

Occasionally Hermes feels like she might be threatening his job a little, especially when she worked as a courier with heelies and a skateboard.

She’s ace by the way. Probably aro too, which is why she has no fear in front of Aphrodite.

[authoroux]

I’ve Published Twenty Books, Here’s What I Know: There’s a lot of speculation about authors who write books quickly, speculation that I’ve always found odd, borderline insulting. It’s nobody’s business, but I’ve always written quickly, in extreme, sometimes unhealthy, obsessive bursts to outrun and outsmart the self-doubt and mental illness that has affected me my entire life. I’m guessing some of you can relate. It’s the way I know how to do business, so that’s how the business gets done. And honestly? I can’t remember the last time I wondered how long it took an author to write the book I was enjoying. I mean, I don’t care if it took them ten days or ten years, I’m just pleased their imagination dances in harmony with mine. I’m relieved they took the time to create something. Because creation is hard. This job is hard. Really hard. Impossible? Occasionally. I’ve had to rewrite entire books in a matter of months to fulfill an edit. I’ve had to just plain write first drafts in a matter of months, because that was the time allotted. I’ve worked through severe illness, debilitating depression coupled with ADHD, through breakups and traumas, through devastating loss. On the worst day of your life, someone will be sure to DM and let you know your book sucks ass. You will be the lone woman on panels, constantly ignored and condescended to. You will have a launch event to promote your book and the host will interrupt to talk about male authors he obviously wishes you were. Someone will raise their hand in the middle of your panel and ask for your number. It will get weird, exhausting, and numbing.

This job requires a tremendous amount of fortitude. It paradoxically asks that you remain a sensitive lil bean, open to the world and your own emotions, while also demanding an adamantine shell to survive it.  More than once I’ve wanted to walk away from it, just disappear somewhere and open a retirement ranch for senior chihuahuas, never to be perceived again. So, why continue? Why write books 21, 22, and so on? There’s a line in the new Critical Role book that I’m proud of, it goes: To venture out, that is the mandate of the soul.

Try. Go. Walk out the door. Go to the desk. Jot down that idea, follow it, see where it goes. Venture. Fail. Do it again.

There’s more venturing to do, in my imagination and in this career. Joy and rage still howl to be let out. And there are readers, wonderful readers, to keep entertaining or to eventually meet. There are a dozen moments of catharsis, light, and pride for every moment of frankly unbelievable bullshit. You start to recognize the same readers in your mentions, and grow fond of them, looking forward to their comments and likes. You receive kind, curious emails seeking advice. You meet incredible people running the same hard race and you learn from their wisdom and grace. You make lifelong friends. Someone you idolize will ask for a blurb, and your heart will turn into a thousand singing senior chihuahuas. You will work with editors and copy editors and PR folks that will stun you with their creativity. You will listen to audiobook performers bring your words to life in wholly unexpected ways. A parent will approach you with their kid at a signing and tell you Asylum was the first book their child read, and now they love reading. All those experiences and moments expand your heart until it’s so big that it’s ready to soak up more rage and joy, and barf it back out into the world behind a hard cover.

Maybe most importantly, you will sit quietly at your desk, weeping over a story that you’ve finally finished, filled to bursting with all the fears and hopes of a new parent. You will write THE END, and then, the next day, open a fresh Word doc and do the whole hard thing over again.

I’ve published twenty books. I am so damn proud. And yet, the work has hardly begun.

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC is Half Demon and They’re- Oh Crap They’re Barbatos’ Kid!

This is the second part of that one request I answered for Dia and Barb’s possible kids. Sorry this took so long! Writer’s block, y’know? Anyhoo~ enjoy, everyone!

This story didn’t start on the first day of the exchange program, it started five days before in Barbatos’ room at three in the morning with the poor butler waking up in a cold sweat.

Oh dear, it appeared the exchange program would be up in a bit of a tizzy. He had… a child? Oh my… Barbatos hoped the young master wouldn’t be too miffed about the student not being a totally normal human.

On the day of the exchange program, Barbatos insisted he had to be present for the event, he carefully pushed a cushioned sofa in the drop zone before opening the portal. The child fell right out of the sky and landed perfectly on the couch, they were already wearing a helmet and looked quite shocked by the cushioned fall.

Well, it was a big shock to the assembled crowd, but the child gave everyone a lopsided smile and removed their helmet.

“So, I assume I’m here for the exchange program?”

Dadbatos

Well, this child was incredibly… what was the word the kids were using? chill? They were quite chill considering the situation, and was surprisingly prepared for the sudden drop into hell.

“Oh, I had a dream that this was going to happen, and I dream about the future n’stuff. I thought I’d come prepared.” “Ah, that’s very sensible.”

Diavolo recovered quickly from his shock and was positively delighted to meet this little munchkin. He insisted that they had to stay with their dad.

MC was polite, if not a bit overly calm about a lot of things. They didn’t run off to start trouble, and they didn’t seem very impressed by the Devildom itself. It was sort of like this child had a very low maximum level of excitement. Barbatos was glad his child wasn’t some little hellraiser.

He was never a child himself, so he’s a bit clueless about what children actually enjoy. Here child, have a… have an old torture weapon. Don���t use it on anyone who doesn’t deserve it :)

(I’m kidding, Barbatos is too responsible to give one of his instruments of torture to a child. That’s for when they’re older.)

“MC,” Barbatos knocked on his child’s door. “Have you done your homework?”

MC answered the door with a grin on their face. “Yep, done this week’s and next week’s. I’m getting a head start on the potions project due next week.”

Barbatos almost breathed a small sigh of relief. Thank the stars his child was responsible, it already took a big chunk of his energy to make sure Diavolo didn’t get distracted from his paperwork. Though, his stress levels did rise a tad when he got a glimpse at the mess in MC’s room.

“Are you going to clean that?”

“Nah,” MC shrugged. “It’s whatever. I know where everything is and nothing’s a fall risk. See you at dinner, father.”

And with that, MC shut the door. Well… no child was perfect.

As much as MC’s lack of cleanliness bothers Barbatos, he knows his kid isn’t being maliciously lazy, just for the love of the Demon King please stop leaving cups on the coffee tables without a coaster!

Oh yeah, Luke has a big sib. Sorry- little sib, because Luke isn’t some chihuahua child, he’s a totally mature grown-up Angel.

Barbatos is the type of father who will let his child go off and have whatever kind of fun they want as long as they don’t slack on their important duties.

Barbs also has a goddamn torture dungeon so we here at Stupid Headcanons inc. do NOT recommend trying to eat MC. Doing so may result in you wishing you were dead.

Don’t fuck with the butler.

Lucifer

…out of literally everyone in the room, the last person Lucifer expected to have a secret scandal baby… had a scandal baby. Damn.

At least the human wouldn’t have to live with him and his brothers. The last thing Lucifer wanted was for Barbatos to be even more aware of the chaos that went down in that house every single day.

MC and Lucifer have a healthy level of respect for one another, but Lucifer just can’t shake the feeling that this kid is messing with him somehow.

Just, little things… MC offering him fruit and loudly assuring him that it was just blackberries and nothing poisonous, asking if the RAD uniform suits his tastes, proclaiming that the dirt was high quality-

SOMEONE TOLD MC ABOUT LUCIFER’S FIRST VISIT TO THE DEVILDOM!

MC wasn’t exactly visibly goading him, they said everything with an innocent smile on their face.

When MC starts getting nosy with the attic, he’s not terribly sure how to deal with it. He was going up against a child that could at least partially tell the future. After the first time Lucifer told them to scram, they never went back to the steps… at least not when Lucifer was there to guard it…

After everything goes down, Lucifer is glad that MC wasn’t hurt or anything. He’d come to like the child and it’d be awful to lose the only person who could get his more hyperactive brothers to calm down.

Mammon

Mammon wasn’t present for the meeting, but when he was informed later, the news was met with an eloquent: “the fuck? Huh, wild.”

He isn’t too interested in MC at first. At least until the little runt saved him from getting busted for skipping class. Mammon was just eating his lunch in the courtyard when MC passed by and calmly told him that if he skipped class he should not hang out in the west staircase because Lucifer was going to walk down those steps during third period.

At first Mammon tried to brush off the warning, but ended up listening to the kid anyway, and what do ya know! He didn’t get caught by Lucifer!

That’s when it clicked that MC could see the future, right? Right?! Ya know what Mammon could use that for?! Right?!

Gambling! Scams! Schemes! General shennaniganery!

MC wasn’t terribly enthused about the entire situation, so they may have messed with Mammon a little. Just a bit.

It’s not like Mammon ever listened when MC told him to cut his losses and leave the casino anyway 🙄

Leviathan

First reaction? Thank the anime gods that there wouldn’t be another normie living in the house with him…

Reaction upon hearing that the MC was Barb’s kid? Really? Barbatos? Wow… well, to be fair Levi totally understood why someone would be attracted to Barbatos, I mean, Levi’s watched plenty of anime involving butlers, but Barbatos actually having a living breathing child? Damn.

But still, Levi wasn’t going to hang out with some normie brat. He had better and nerdier things to devote his time to.

Whenever MC visited, Levi was up in his room. But once MC decided to poke their head in the door while Levi was in the middle of gamer raging.

They calmly sat Levi down and explained to him that he could be upset about whatever happened in his game, but lashing out wasn’t going to fix anything or make him better at the actual game.

…damn it… they were right.

Slowly but surely Levi and MC built up a friendship, and the brothers rejoiced at the lack of rage related Lotan summons.

Satan

Out of everything Satan could have possibly expected from the second exchange student, this was not one of them.

Satan began to wonder exactly how MC’s powers worked, he didn’t exactly have any concrete data to compare them to because Barbatos was so mysterious

Hm, how very interesting. Satan decided that it was up to him to satiate his own curiosity and began to study MC. To be honest, MC wasn’t being terribly interesting.

They were a pretty normal kid all things considered. MC went to class, made friends, did their work, very very normal. Well, except for the fact that they seemed to dodge practically every unfortunate thing that could have happened to them.

They’d stop at the perfect time to avoid something accidentally being spilled on them, they always had pencils ready, and they always seemed to know exactly when a teacher was coming… mad sus.

Satan eventually confronted MC about this, and they just shrugged and explained that they tend to dream about what was most likely to happen the next day and would adjust their actions accordingly.

It may have been anticlimactic, but MC did inform Satan that there would be a cat in the courtyard in fifteen minutes.

HE NEEDED TO GO!

Asmodeus

Asmo had genuinely been looking forward to the new exchange program, he was excited to have a new face around the house to shake things up! He loves his dear brothers but spending thousands of years with them makes their shenanigans become a bit… well, a bit boring.

But my oh my, the new face was being obscured by that tacky bicycle helmet… the new face looked an awful lot like Barbatos…

Once Asmo registered what was going on, he was positively enchanted with the little half human. They were just so cute! They looked like a baby Barbatos with those adorably chubby cheeks!

Oh Barbatos~ he just had to let Asmo babysit!

When Asmo managed to sweep MC away for a fun day with shifty uncle Solomon, he was reminded of all the shenanigans that he, Barbatos, and Solomon used to get up to.

*sigh, Barbie was always so busy… no time for a fun night of torture, chaos, and revelry

Anyhoodles~ MC was always such a relaxed little thing. They let Asmo vent whenever any awful tragedies occur, like when Asmo finds a sweater that isn’t in his size… *sniffle*

Beelzebub

A child of Barbatos? The best cook in the three realms Barbatos?! …hey kid want to hang out with cool uncle Beel?

Beel tried everything in his power to get MC to make him food. I mean, the genetic disposition for making good food has to have been passed down from father to child!

When MC finally made Beel food, he was ecstatic!

…Until the food touched Beel’s tongue and he realized it wasn’t good, it was just… okay. Average. Passable.

Aw man… but the kid looked so excited to have made something for Beel…

Beel really hammed up his reaction to make MC feel better. Beel was like “Wow. So good. Amazing.” “Thanks Beel.”

Very sweet child, they don’t mind being used in place as a dumbell.

Belphegor

Damn, and here Belphie was, thinking Barbatos has standards. Apparently not!

When MC went and walked up the attic steps, Belphie was almost bouncing on his toes in anticipation. This human had been a pain in the rear to call up, so he was excited to finally get a good look at them. And lo and behold, a half demon child of Lord Diavolo’s butler.

MC grinned and greeted Belphie first, using his name and asking why the Avatar of Sloth was stuck up in the attic of his own home when he was supposed to be in the human world. Belphie was flabbergasted and didn’t exactly know how to respond.

He came up with a new plan quickly. Belphie didn’t exactly know how this kid’s powers worked, so he’d continue with trying to trick them into opening the attic door. Allowing Belphie to end their miserable little life and thus ruining the exchange program.

The child continued to visit Belphie up in the attic, relaying the events of what was going on, and Belphie continued to play the part of prisoner. Until one day in particular…

MC appeared in front of the door, looking a tad more unkempt than normal, they weren’t smiling their usual carefree smile either. Their eyes bore holes into Belphegor’s skull as they flared at him.

“How long have you been planning on killing me?”

MC had seen the future where they died at Belphie’s hand, and they sure as hell were not going to let him out of the attic after that. Though, they did tell Belphie about Lilith’s true fate before they left, and assured Belphie they had no reason to lie to him about something he wasn’t directly involved in.

So, Belphie did get let out of the attic eventually, and even though MC smiled and welcomed him back all the same, there would always a barrier between the two. Broken trust wasn’t easy to mend, after all.

[autisticandroids]

so one interesting thing about me is that i'm an extremely laid back person, but that doesn't come naturally to me. in middle school, when i took a test, i was the most type a person in the classroom. close friends who have known me for a long time are sure to witness at least one occasion on which i snap back to my natural, tightly wound and controlling and anxious ways. i'm laid-back because i choose to be. partly this is because being super tightly wound all the time is super exhausting and unpleasant and makes me really unhappy. partly because i'm like, mildly depressed, and have been since high schoool, which is really good at tamping down those emotions. but also it's an ethical choice for me, which is something that i've never really heard anyone talk about. like, i grew up with a father who is incredibly tightly wound and it makes him a real dick to everyone around him. any time anything goes slightly not according to his expectations, or takes a little bit too long, or is too far outside his comfort zone, he has a massive, screaming meltdown and takes it out on everyone around him, making my and my mom's life hell. like, almost every night, my mom struggles to find something for us to watch on our roku tv thingy, because she's kind of bad at operating it, and it's a coin flip as to whether my dad will get so frustrated that he will scream and swear at her because she's delaying a tv show by 30 seconds by being bad at the tv. i actually love traveling, but as a child i used to dread it, because my dad, forced to be out of the house for long stretches which he can't deal with and also like. forced to travel. which is inherently pretty stressful if you're not prepared to roll with the punches, would be fuming with rage the whole time (no matter how much he was theoretically excited for the trip) and one wrong move could set him off. he's in general a very high stress person, he has the cortisol levels of a chihuahua and is rigid, anxious, controlling, and impatient. and he makes the lives of people around him a lot worse by fully indulging those traits. so i've spent a lot of my life trying to become like... the kind of person who would never act like that. and i've actually succeeded pretty well, to the extent where i am just genuinely less neurotic about a lot of stuff instead of like. forcing myself not to act neurotic. and i was just like... contemplating this this morning, for two reasons. the first is that i never see like, becoming a calmer, more laid-back person presented as an ethical goal, really. maybe in terms of a mental health goal, but not in terms of like... a treating other people better goal. which suggests my experience may be kinda rare. the second is that while the reason i've done this was like, genuine moral reasoning that i didn't want to have certain types of negative effects on people's lives, it's also incredibly validating, because it's like... proof. proof that my dad could just Not Act Like That. proof that he's making a choice, you know?

[charmixpower]

Oh oh I don't remember on which post this was but we were talking about bullied Riven and you mentioned teachers loving him, and while I always HC-ed that most teachers hated his guts it actually makes more sense your way??? Like those people deal with spoiled little shits all day every day. They have to make soldiers out of boys that were mostly pampered their whole lives. They'd LOVE a moody gremlin child that never saw an ounce of privilege in his life except pretty privilege. Lol. Like yes he probably has an attitude and shit but he's a teen that's what teens do, that's OKAY. At least he's not obnoxious and pretentious AND he he doesn't have a bigger spending allowance than the teachers monthly payment. Add to that that he's smart and has great grades, ofc they adore him.

KGNSLFJSKKFSKDJDPALSJFKSDKSNSSJJDJDK

I feel like Riven, on top of that stuff, takes all the lessions really seriously bc he's actually been in real fights and super dangerous situations before so he understands how important what their talking about is

S1 opinions are mixed. Half of the teachers think it's funny that Riven keeps kicking the shit out of these pampered brats, the other half sees him as a headache that causes way too much paper work

S2 and onward tho Riven is DEFINITELY the favorite student. He's still moody and has an attitude but he's less likely to cause a nightmare of paperwork now, and his attitude is low key refreshing bc its born out of experience in dangerous situations and not plain over confidence

Plus?? Riven's skills in making it out of cloud tower shows that after two years he really HAS been listening to EVERYTHING his teachers say and their not crying, they just have some in their eyes. Riven gets put into the accelerated course or something bc they wanna see this boy THRIVE

(Btw I always thought it was fun if Riven had a little magic, not enough to be super useful but enough that it's there and it being discovered here and teachers helping him flourish would bring me so much joy. Let the boy have good role models he can trust in his life!!!! He needs them!!!)

I feel like he was slowly being adopted by at least ONE teacher at this school from the beginning. It's probably Saladin tbh, Helia shows up to RF trying to find his gramps new son...then Helia ends up adopting Riven too

Ok but the Red fountain pixie, Athena, definitely adopted this fool the moment she laid eyes on him. He's so full of fighting spirit and rage, someone get this kid a friend jfc. Plus Riven's weird natural affinity for pixies??? Athena loves this little idiot, he's like a Chihuahua

[nataliedrawz]

SIS SIS! I HAS A REQUEST: can you write a fic with lee Belphie and ler beel? :D

THANK YOU NOW I WILL EVAPORATE INTO THIN AIR

🌸A/N: AAAAAAAA OFC OFC!! I hope you enjoy it little bro, I love them so much istg-

🌸Character's Used: Beelzebub & Belphegor

Potential Warnings: Swears, tickling and slight pinning. You have been warned, enjoy!

It was around 3 in the afternoon in Devildom, Mammon stacking a card tower, Lucifer at a meeting with the prince, and the other's doing whatever the heck they were doing. Meanwhile, as it was quiet and relaxing, Beel had decided to bring Belphie out and play some game's.

Whilst in the middle of one of their game's, Beel was beginning to get a little bit raged as the bluenette kept on winning against him. "How are you doing that?" Asked the ginger, groaning as a grin was the only answer he got from him.

This, of course, set Beel into slight annoyance, but Belphegor didn't give a crap. Watching as Beel set up another match with him, eyeing each movement he made his character do, amd so, he countered each move again. And again. And again.

"Grah! You always win!" The ginger whined, gripping the controller as if he was suffocating it, "Woah woah, Beel, I promise you, it's just because you're bad and I'm amazing, now, let's finish it so I can head to bed." Was Belphie's resolution to stop this, a amused tone inlaced within his word's. And so, they played the last round, with taunts, counter's, etc.

That is until Beel had enough, a had clawing at Belphie's side, his left hand still playing, a grin replacing his annoyance as Belphie attempted to avoid his hand fruitlessly.

"B-Beheheel!! Yohohou cheheheating bahahastard!" Spoken out the youngest, his squirming being useless in the strong yet soft grip Beel had on his sensitive side. He went to pry his hand off in any attempt to escape this embarrassing situation.

"What if Asmo walked in- No, what if Mammon, no, even worse, what if Lucifer had walked in on this?! He'd be a pure goner if he knew about this ridiculous weakness!" Was Belphie's thoughts, being plunged back into the sight of a Beel - now holding his hands over his head as he laid the male on his stomach, his free hand tracing down his spine, earning a loud, yet very embarrassing, yelp.

"Wow, you really haven't changed, haven't you?" Beel chuckled out with a mischievous glint leaving scars on Belphie's back, "And just as I thought you couldn't get any more ticklish, I, of course, get proven wrong." Great, now he was teasing him! This is so embarrassing, being reduced into frozen giggles as his finger kept tracing ever so gently up and down his back. But oh no, thing's have gotten a little- no, a lot worse now, his devilish twin brother had now let his wrists go, but at the cost of placing his hands at the back of his ribs, keeping them there, watching the futile attempts to guard the hyper sensitive area leave him completely useless.

"Oh? Squirming already? I thought you liked this, after all, you did call me a cheater as if you weren't being one yourself?" Beel had said, gently prodding as a warning, earning small snorts and shrieks. "Y-YOHohou bahAHAstard!! Wait, d-dOHON'T- STOHOHOP!!" His arm's now clamped down, only to trap the finger's that vibrated at the hind bones of his poor ribs, oh gosh, his body felt like it was being electrocuted into ticklish hell, but he did have to admit, it was nice to laugh so freely, and he could feel that Beel was enjoying this too.

"Sorry, but you were being too noisy, might want to quiet down a bit, hm?" He chorused, humming near his ear just to send a ticklish shiver down to his tummy, legs and arm's swinging around aimlessly like a child from such ticklish actions. How can he be a demon if this was his greatest weakness!? Being tickled right there, how dirty of Beel, how.. foul played!

Yet again, they played this new game until Barbatos had to report about an angry chihuahua getting very annoyed from all the noise, receiving a very flustered set of twins and a grin from the butler.

[alirhi]

okay. let's do this shit.

Guess what, bitches? Mama bear's back and angry all over again. Remember when I said I might dive into a ragepost about how Bucky's treated after completing the one about Loki? This is it. This is the post. Welcome to fucking Thunderdome.

I will actually try to keep it civil. No promises, but I'll try. and I will not be accepting "constructive criticism" about my rage. Just so we're clear.

Got it? Good. Let's dive in.

In case you don't want to read the whole thing (I know I get wordy) here's what this whole post will boil down to: BUCKY NEVER HAD A FUCKING CHOICE. NEVER. NOT ONCE IN HIS ENTIRE ADULT LIFE.

Now, quick reminder: I don't read comics. I know nothing about Bucky's comic canon, except what Sebastian liked to bring up as often as possible during TWS/CW promotions: at some point, Bucky boned Nat. XD Since Bucky only exists as a Marvel property, I won't be bitching about other source material being disrespected like I did with Loki. This is all MCU, my dudes. And honestly? That's enough, because though we don't see nearly enough of Bucky for my liking, we do manage to get a rich, deep backstory to him in the material we're given, partly thanks to better writing in the early days of the MCU, and partly thanks to Sebastian Stan's phenomenal acting. Unlike the writers of the Loki series, Seb knows how to show, not tell. And gods, what stories those eyes show...

Let's start with the army. In an old post illustrating what an absolute BAMF Bucky Barnes truly is, I mistakenly said he enlisted, and a kind soul educated me on the incredible attention to detail Marvel used to pay - in this case, Bucky's ID number. 32557038. As this kind, eagle-eyed soul pointed out to me, the first two digits of that number - 32 - signify that Bucky was drafted, specifically from the NY, NJ, DE area (that last part is rather obvious, as Bucky and Steve are from Brooklyn lol). Bucky didn't choose to go to war. He was drafted. He was forced to fight, or go to prison.

Bucky was born in 1917, which means - again, as someone pointed out to me a while back - he came of age during the Great Depression. As a child, he would likely have seen his parents living comfortably and able to shower each other and him and his sister with gifts and fun memories, and then POOF. Stock market crashes when he's only 12-years-old, and life becomes brutal and painful. He manages to have some fun with his best friend Steve, and spends his teens/early 20s chasing girls and keeping his stupid, stubborn, tiny friend from getting beaten to death.

Steve constantly has something to prove. He's absolutely got what my mom always called "little man's disease", and Bucky's just doing his best not to roll his eyes too much at this asthmatic chihuahua constantly trying to beat up Tibetan mastiffs. While Steve keeps lying on his enlistment forms (an actual crime) trying again and again to get into the army and prove what a badass he is (definitely not), Bucky's had enough trauma and upheaval in his life and he just wants his stupid friend to calm tf down and live. Enjoy the fact that he doesn't have to go to war and get his limbs blown off.

And then he gets fucking drafted. This sweet, resigned realist who knows exactly how dangerous the war really is, is forced to put on a uniform and go fight strangers alongside other strangers thousands of miles from everything he knows. And on his last night of freedom, when he just wants to hang out with his friend, see some cool gadgets, and dance with a pretty girl, his stupid angry chihuahua friend feels the need to lie and try to enlist again.

Okay. Gotta get back on track. Ragepost about mistreatment of Bucky, not how much Steve annoys me. Sorry. Anyway...

Bucky's drafted, accepts his shitty lot with a brave smile, and is shipped off to Europe, where he is captured by HYDRA and presumed by the Allies to be KIA. Instead, he's strapped down, tortured, and given the HYDRA version of the super serum against his will. Steve rescues him, and Bucky knows he can't leave his idiot friend to his own devices to get his head blown off, so he dives right back into the fray. And then he falls off a cliff, loses most of his left arm, and is declared dead...again. This one's pretty damn valid, though lol. Without the serum no one knew he'd been shot up with, there is no way he would have survived that fall.

Here is where Bucky's story gets truly heartbreaking: His autonomy, his ability to consent is stripped from him through electroshock torture/brainwashing. The trigger words are conditioned into him during this process, and boom. Ten words in Russian, and Bucky Barnes is gone. Even the confused, hurting shadow of him is gone, leaving only a perfectly obedient killing machine, with Bucky's pretty face. He's strong as all hell, though, so they can't keep him fully under their control for long, not without more torture, when the disorientation of being fucking frozen wears off on longer missions.

I cannot stress this point enough, guys: Bucky. Had. No. Choice. Not like the draft, where his choices (go and get shot at, refuse and go to jail, or dodge and run to Canada) just suck. No, he literally didn't have a choice. He had his ability to choose stripped from him. If that's too complex a concept to really sink in, try this: His brain was fucking raped. Repeatedly. For decades. Nothing the Winter Soldier ever did was Bucky's fault. Nothing. Ever. Not remotely, no matter how you fucking slice it. Bucky is not an assassin. I almost said "not a killer", but he was a soldier, and a sharpshooter. He definitely killed when he was himself, but that was in a war, not a series of assassinations.

So far, imo, so good. This is just a rundown of Bucky's pre-show backstory. I don't love what he had to suffer, but I do love how it was treated in the movies. People were afraid of him, but when they knew the whole situation, Steve, Nat, and Sam rallied behind him. Natasha had plenty of reason to want the Winter Soldier dead; he'd tried to kill her multiple times and almost succeeded. Sam had no reason to help Bucky at all; he didn't know him, didn't trust him, and again, TWS had tried to kill him. But he stood by Steve, and when Bucky showed the clear difference between himself and TWS, Sam stood by him, too, and fought alongside him.

And it's very realistic, imo, that Tony didn't give a single fuck that Bucky had no choice. He watched this man murder both of his parents on tape. If TWS had killed my dad and I saw proof of it, I'd try to kill Bucky, too. Grief wins out over logic. Most emotions usually do. And that's a very important point we're going to come back to in a few minutes.

Bucky was really only in like ten minutes at most of IW and Endgame, and for multiple reasons I hate those movies, so I'm just gonna skip them, kay? Kay. On to the main event!

Here's where I get pissed off. Even if I didn't have an unhealthy attachment to this character, or the depth of appreciation for his tragic backstory that I do, the lack of continuity between the movies and the show alone would still piss me off. It always does. Don't even get me started on Joss "Continuity? What continuity?" Whedon and his (iconic, but flawed) shows. Ahem. Back on track...

Let me just get one little thing out of the way real quick: I fucking LOVE The Falcon and the Winter Soldier. I love it. This show amazed me when I first watched it, and I still love it after many more viewings lol. I have only ever watched it all the way through without skipping over as much John Walker shit as possible the one time lol but I love how Sam and Bucky interact, and I fucking adore how Sam's arc was treated. I just wish they'd show the same care and attention to Bucky.

Because what they did to Bucky in this show is a fucking travesty. There was a tiny ray of hope in the pilot, when he called out Dr. Bitchface for being a terrible shrink. I thought that would be the start of him realizing he needed to find someone else and ignore the damaging shit that woman was telling him. But...nope. No such luck.

The show really had a strong start, I'll give it that. We see Bucky having nightmares of his time as TWS and struggling to hide how his traumatic memories are affecting him as he tries to live in the world again. He befriends the father of one of HYDRA's victims, which can't be good for Bucky (and we're shown it's definitely not when he sees the shrine in Yori's home to his late son) but it's sweet, how he's trying to connect and reach out to someone who's hurting and lonely.

They drop the ball a little with the whole... Bucky can hack a fucking car, but can't figure out Tinder thing. Had they just run with the fandom interpretation of the tiger photos line, that it shows that Bucky is bi and left it at that, I'd have been okay with it (and no, that is not because I ship Sam/Bucky. it's because Bucky is and always has been a certified nerd who loves technology and has consistently shown very little issue learning to use new gadgets). The outdated flip phone he handed his terrible court-mandated shrink was a burner; I liked that theory when I read it, especially since it's the only time we see him even holding a phone that old lol. This all could have fit the "Bucky is a sassy bisexual nerd" narrative and it'd be okay. Instead, the director was like "NOOOOOO that line was just to show how old he is and how he can't figure out all this newfangled technology!" Woman, you had him remotely driving someone else's vehicle with a tablet. That is NOT a man who can't figure out a damn smart phone!

But that's just a minor annoyance. What fills me with absolute rage is how everyone - not just the shitty therapist who lashes out at and purposely triggers her traumatized patients, but EVERYONE - Sam, Zemo, people who should fucking know better ALL treat him like he's a psychopath and a ticking time bomb. Like he chose to take the serum and he chose to kill for HYDRA, and he's just seen the error of his ways. *barf*

Bucky in the movies is established to be a victim, through and through. His guilt over what he was forced to do is natural, and that he sees himself as a monster makes sense... but that doesn't mean it's correct. The one and only thing I ever liked about Steve Rogers is at least he got it. He pointed out that none of it was Bucky's fault, he tried to show him that he was worth saving. That's the other reason I refuse to talk about Endgame. This post will get a WHOLE LOT LONGER and a lot fucking angrier if I open that door.

Zemo supposedly knows everything about HYDRA and super soldiers... So why does he treat Bucky like he's a corrupt serial killer? (this, for the record, is why I don't like Zemo) Why does he never point out that Bucky was given the serum against his will, or that his actions, when he had control of them, proved that he was never corrupted? Bucky never wanted to become superhuman. Bucky didn't even want to fucking fight!

Sam, despite constantly resisting the label, is shown very clearly to be Bucky's friend. By episode 3, he cares. He worries about how Bucky is getting lumped in with the other super soldiers in Zemo's speech... But he never really defends him. He says "what about Bucky?" but he doesn't point out that Bucky's a good man, he's fought so hard to help people, he does everything he can to avoid killing... And that fucking speech in episode 5. I was with him on "you gotta stop looking to other people to tell you who you are." I was like "YEAH! Tell him, Sam! Bucky, you're WORTH SAVING, boo! Your value does not hinge on someone else's opinion of you!" And then... Sam dropped the ball.

He not only continued the disturbing pattern of victim-blaming in this show, and in Marvel/Disney properties in general, but he gave really dangerously bad advice! No one in their right mind, mental health professional or no, would EVER tell a traumatized former assassin (whether he was responsible for his actions or not) to go confront his victims' families out of the blue with no warning and no one to mediate and keep things from going to shit. Yori already knew his son had been murdered because he was in the "wrong place, wrong time." How is it being "of service" to tell him you're the one who killed him?! Remember how I said Tony's reaction to learning the full truth about his parents' deaths was valid and would be an important point later? Hi! Welcome to later. THAT is the natural reaction to facing the man who murdered your loved one(s). And even if Yori didn't get angry and lash out, HOW IS IT "HELPING" HIM OR BRINGING HIM "CLOSURE" TO KNOW THAT HIS FRIEND KILLED HIS FUCKING SON?!?!?! This man befriended him, bonded with him, watched him grieve... And now he's learning this is the man who caused all his pain and heartache to begin with? That is so toxic and psycho I just... I can't even... UGH.

And then there's the equally toxic and damaging "deeply traumatized person just needed a stern talking to and a hug to be ALL BETTER AGAIN" ending. I loved seeing Bucky happy and socializing, but it was too soon, and it was unearned. And it sends a fucking awful message to people actually struggling with PTSD, and to their loved ones who don't know how to help them. Heaping more blame on them and then hugging it out is NOT helpful!

This show could have been damn near perfect with just two changes. That's all. Just two. 1) Someone, anyone, bringing up the reasons why Bucky was never a villain in his presence. Someone being in his corner and reminding him, like Steve did, that it wasn't his fault and he's not going to "snap". 2) More time devoted to Bucky's healing. Actual fucking healing, not the shit they tried to pass off as a magic fix-all. He can have his happy barbecue moment, just don't frame it as "everything's great now!" Healing isn't linear, and there will be both good days and bad. Some of the most fragile people in the world have the brightest smiles.

If we get a season 2, which this amazing show absolutely deserves, and they address this stuff, all will be forgiven in my book. Expanding on his story and his journey toward healing will help to reframe that "happily ever after" garbage as something more realistic. But as it stands now... Fuck Marvel.

[luci-cunt]

It’s late early and I’m supposed to be doing other things but uuuuhhhhh Nightvale-ish AFtG au

After Mary died Neil just straight up had a psychotic break. He woke up four weeks later--having met some god-like entity and subsequently eating their soul and taking all their power--wearing a chicken mask and clothes made of actual traffic cones and just walked up to Nathan and killed him by snapping his fingers and yeeting the bastard into the void

Then he walked away. 

Fast forward a couple of years and we’ve got Andrew, who’s at this point just an exhausted ex-college student. He did the whole “exy scholarship for Aaron” but then they had a big fight, Andrew walked out and he never came back

Now he works at a generic convenience store in the middle of bum-fuck nowhere and he’s just kind of floating through life

The town is weird, but Andrew’s just convinced at this point he’s having a constant mental breakdown so yeah--sure John come on in and ask if the fucking gas n’ gulp has eyedrops for your third eye for the fifth time this week--why the fuck not. 

People come in with weird pets all the time (the least weird being an actual shadow with glowing red eyes and the most weird--by far--being a chihuahua with a shockingly mild temperament)

Oh and there’s the radio

Every single station in town plays that fucking station--even personal radios--even radio apps. No matter how many times Andrew tries to put regular ass music on in the store it just makes a horrible screeching staticky noise and then his voice starts droning

It always starts off inane, and then gets weirder, but again--Andrew’s pretty sure this is all some ridiculously vivid lucid dream and he’ll wake up in the dorms at Palmetto liek nothing happened

(one thing that convinces him of this is the fact that one day he realizes he’s never left the convenience store, and when he tries to he gets a pounding headache and the resounding urge to refill the slurpee machine that’s been broken ever since Clarence’s Niece’s “dog” pissed on it and melted the entire wall)

Eventually radio man finally pays Andrew a visit--and despite his appearence the radio is still droning on over the loudspeaker. 

Neil comes up to the counter--wearing an absurd amount of those little round plastic seals that come on the mouths of bottles as rings and braceletes. 

he asks for a coconut

Andrew tells him to fuck off and stop hijacking the radio

Neil sighs but says a papaya would also do

Andrew repeats his terms

Neil agrees, Andrew slams coconut water down on the counter (he doesn’t knwo where it came from, he certainly wasn’t holding it--at least, he thinks he wasn’t)

Neil isn’t pleased, but he takes it and leaves with an ominous window rattling

The radio stops playing Neil’s show, but now it’s stuck on Polka music and Andrew wants to tear his hair out again

He tries leaving but still can’t--this time compelled to reach up into the ceiling in the bathroom and take the strangely pulsing cash ball that’s been growing up there like mold down. 

He doesn’t know how much time passes but eventually Neil comes back, this time he comes to the counter asking for a bone

Andrew asks what kind of bone

Neil says he’s not particular

Andrew can’t tell if Neil’s flirting

Neil says he’s not

Andrew wonders if he said that out loud

Neil says he didn’t

Andrew hands him a femur he’s pretty sure he wasn’t holding before and tells him to quit playing Polka

Neil leaves, the radio station changes to Christian Rock and Andrew plots to murder Neil

This time when Andrew tries to leave he throws a rock through the front window of the store front--only just now realizing he’s only ever seen the night through the windows

The hole he creates is empty, and when he reaches through it his hand starts to fold away into nothing, so he duct tapes a garbage back over the hole and puts a wet-floor sign under it to stop people from walking on the broken glass

Neil returns, this time holding a rock like it’s a child and when Andrew asks what it’s name is--for some reason--Neil says it’s nameless

Andrew wonders if that’s supposed to be a metaphor

Neil says it isn’t--shut up you don’t know what you’re talking about

Andrew was pretty sure he didn’t say that outloud

Neil says he didn’t--fuck off--stop thinking so loud your face is weird, and then he throws the rock through the hot dog warmer that only spins rotisserie chickens with too much rosemary on them. 

The music changes again, this time to a more reasonable alt. rock station, but Andrew’s still not pleased

one day Andrew takes one of the jugs of milk out of the fridge and tries to smash it on the floor but it just bounces like it’s made of rubber. When he takes a sip it still tastes like milk--oddly almondy though--he decides he’s better off without

When Neil comes in next Andrew tells him the milk is stupid and bounces, Neil says he’s stupid for thinking milk doesn’t bounce. 

Andrew wonders why there isn’t any icecream in the shop

Neil says it’s because of Mrs. Cherry’s Sunday Assault

Andrew doesn’t bother to think about how he’s pretty sure he didn’t say that out loud--but he’s pretty sure

Neil leaves without buying anything, the radio changes again, this time playing something that sounds like whale noises looped with blender noises

Andrew wants to kill Neil again

Neil comes back, Andrew doesn’t kill him, the radio changes, the milk still bounces and Archie Donovan’s chihuahua is still disconcertingly nice

One day Andrew’s throwing spoons at a wall of chewed and still sticky gum that’s suddenly always been behind the counter when Neil comes in

Andrew thinks about how much he’d kill for icecream

Neil leaves

The freezer’s suddenly stalked with ice cream

The next time Neil comes in Andrew asks if Mrs. Cherry is dealing with her rage alright and Neil tells him she’s dealing great--death does wonders for anger management

Andrew wonders if that’s a threat

Neil tells him its not

And then he explodes

He’s back next week though--or next hour or year or whatever, time moves like dog piss here

The radio has changed so much Andrew isn’t even sure if he remember what real music sounds like anymore

The doors open but it’s always night

The bell rings even though there is no bell

The slurpee machine is still broken

The wad of cash mold over the bathroom has started up again

Andrew keeps thinking he’s going to wake up

Neil asks him if he wants to

Andrew isn’t sure

Neil asks him if he really thinks he’s dreaming

Andrew isn’t sure

Neil asks him if he’s sure of anything

Andrew tells him he’s sure of wanting to murder Neil

(his voice croaks and he realizes he hasn’t used it in ages)

Neil laughs, but tells him he’s free to leave whenever he wants

And the next time Andrew goes to the door, it swings open freely

(he goes back to work the next day though)

(Neil’s back on the radio)

(this time he wishes Andrew a good morning)

(Andrew wonders if he’s losing his mind)

(Neil asks if that’s a bad thing)

(Andrew isn’t sure)