#this did in fact take twelve years but it was a ton of fun | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

raysofcrosby · 2 years

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CHRISTMAS WITH YOU – k. kaprizov

warning(s): mentions of death and loss, but otherwise just tons of cute holiday cheer, an embarrassing near fall ice skating and just cute holiday fluff.

word count: 17,897

an: this better late than never, fic is my entry for @antoineroussel's winter fic exchange 2k23!! i had the absolutely pleasure of writing for @callsign-denmark who supplied me a list of players she enjoys reading about and got me broaden my horizons outside of my usual hockey men to write about and got me to write about the happy ray of sunshine that is kirill kaprizov!! as a sucker of friends to lovers, this is a friends to lovers fic, sprinkled with some nice christmas spirit and ofc, as a lover of happy endings– this one's got a good one!! i had fun writing this and i hope you enjoy 🥰💙

Tori Holly never understood when people said that Holidays could be some of the loneliest and saddest times in people’s lives. Growing up, she remembered how lively their house always was– filled with music, laughter and the smell of home cooking spreading throughout the house. Especially around Christmas time– that was always the most magical time of the year.

It was when her parents seemed to pull all of their magic together and turn the holiday into every feel good Christmas movie alive. And while both of her parents were only children and her one set of Grandparents that were still alive lived on the west coast– she and her older sister Jess (Jessica only if she was in trouble) never felt like their family of four celebrations were lacking. They were all each other needed and it was always more than enough.

The teaming up on their parents for the gingerbread house building contest, taking turns going shopping with their parents to be able to pick out gifts to buy using some of their saved up money (and in the younger years, their parents money of course). Watching their mom make her mom’s special hot cocoa recipe that she promised to share the recipe with them once they got older “and you two can do the same with your children one day.” Building snowmen, snowball fights, that horrible time Jess convinced Tori to climb into the igloo they tried to build and having it collapse on her (though thankfully it wasn’t a lot of snow and Jess tearfully pulled her sister out by her gloved hand.) Sitting on the couch in front of the fireplace and snuggled up beside their parents as they watched How the Grinch Stole Christmas after begging their parents to let them open just one present on Christmas Eve like they did every year without fail.

No, Tori Holly could never understand how Christmas time more specifically, could be one of the worst times of someone’s life– not until Christmas 2006, when it was going to be the first Christmas and her first birthday without her mom. She was only seven and Jess eleven when their mom got sick. She couldn’t remember a lot of the specifics, but she remembered her mom never looking or acting any differently even after her parents had sat them down on the couch and said “mommy’s doctors say that I’m very sick, but I’m not going to stop fighting.” Sure, her mom was slower around the house, maybe a little more tired– but there wasn’t anything specific that stuck out to her.

In fact, that last Christmas of ‘05, they still did every tradition they’d done in the years prior and she never once saw her mom falter or complain. And by May of ‘06, two months after Jess had turned twelve and only seven months until Tori would turn nine, she had completely forgotten about the “I’m sick” conversation there on the couch. Until right at the end of the September, when she’d gotten called out of class to go to the front office. And when she got there, she saw her Grandma Carol standing there speaking to the woman at the front desk.

“Your dad sent me here to pick you up and Grandpa Dan is going to grab Jess.” She had said it with a smile that Tori couldn’t pinpoint exactly, but instantly recognized it as a softer than her usual big, sunny smile.

She thought maybe they were going to grab ice cream and spend some more time at home with their mom. Seeing as only almost a month into school, their dad let them stay home on Friday’s just so they could spend a little extra time with her. But there was no ice cream and her Grandma didn’t take her home– they were at the hospital. And when she walked down the halls with her Grandma holding her hand and they saw her Dad, Grandpa Dan and a crying Jess, she remembered getting that sinking feeling in her stomach that something was wrong.

And something was wrong. Because it turned out that they were all there to say their last goodbyes to her mom. While she was there, she swore time dragged on– but looking back on it now, she realized just how fast her life had changed in one hour.

They “celebrated” her ninth birthday and Christmas three months later and while their dad tried his hardest to not let the magic their home always held fade, and he really did try, there would always be a mom shaped hole in her childhood home and she wondered whether Christmas would ever be the same.

Luckily though, their dad was a Godsend. A man who was actively grieving the love of his life while adjusting to being a widower and parenting two girls– one of whom was entering her teenage years– Tori never once saw him waver. He was there at every school or after school event they had, he kept up their traditions, and was the shoulder to lean on and cry on whenever they needed one. He never once complained and after she got older, Tori always wondered how he did it. How he managed to parent them, stay strong and be everything they needed all while he was grieving on his own.

But that was just it– he was the hero their broken hearts needed and he helped heal theirs and his own every day of every month, and every birthday and holiday that came and went…he always managed to keep that magic alive.

To the point where Tori and Jess started to love Christmas once again and not see it as a mourning time for those childhood memories they left behind. And while their mom was a key figure missing at their poignant times– first days of school, first boyfriends, proms, first day of college, graduations, Jess’s wedding day to her high school sweetheart Steven and even the birth of their daughter Clara (their mom’s namesake), their dad, Jess and even she, always made sure that their mom was a part of it.

Especially once Jess and Steven had Clara, and on Tori’s 17th birthday, nonetheless, Jess had told Tori that suddenly she understood the kind of love that their parents had for them and how their dad managed to keep the magic.

Even a week later going on to say, “I would go to the end of the earth to make sure she was happy, and she just tore through my vagina like it was nothing, last week.”

And for the longest time after their mom died, life seemed to slowly return back to what their dad had fondly called their new normal. Eventually, Tori had gone to and graduated from college and moved further into the city not too far away from Jess and Steven or their home to work as a social media intern for the Minnesota Wild. A job that she luckily got with some help from her college mentor who helped her apply and wrote quite the recommendation letter for.

The life she was building for herself felt like a dream. Sure, growing up just south of Saint Paul, she and her family had frequented both Vikings and Wild games. But working behind the scenes in social media for the hockey team whose games she grew up attending was a whole different atmosphere. She met great people within the organization and had even found herself on a first name basis with some of the players.

But it was when she moved into her post-grad apartment the season after commuting from her childhood home to Saint Paul that she became better friends with two players on the team. Jordan Greenway, who was going on his third season with the Wild, and Ryan Hartman who had come from the Philadelphia Flyers. The two weren’t roommates, but both coincidentally lived a few doors down on the very same hall that Tori had. And after bumping into each other a few times and also seeing each other at the rink, it was natural that the three formed a good friendship during her first season working for the team.

Things were going great and Tori had felt like she was on a high after that first season interning for the Wild for the 2019-2020 season. Even when Covid struck and things were in such a limbo. And at the end of what was a wild and unknowing what was ahead time, she felt blessed enough to have been invited back as an intern for the 2020-2021 season, even shadowing more on the producer side of players interviews and getting to see more behind the scenes. And with every day she went to work, she felt more and more confident in her job and herself. Moving away from home was scary, but she was starting to form a life for herself in Saint Paul that she knew her mom would’ve been proud of.

Ryan and Jordan both were amongst the first few people to congratulate her when they found out she got the second producer job within the same department in what would be her third year working for the team that 2021-2022 season.

And it was truly as if things couldn’t go wrong. She loved her apartment, she got to see her sister and her family often, and she had made a nice circle of friends in the job she also loved. And as she celebrated New Years Eve with the Wild at a hotel ballroom the organization had booked out for everyone to celebrate before the Winter Classic the next morning where they would host the St. Louis Blues at Target Field in Minneapolis. She invited Jess and Steven as her plus ones, booking them a room in the hotel so they didn’t have to drive the 30 minutes home the next morning and probably hungover.

Tori woke up early the next morning back in her apartment and went through her whole routine before getting dressed and heading out the door to catch her uber that would be taking her to the stadium where she would be getting everything together before heading over to the field to work the game. And it was just before she and her co-workers were heading out of Xcel Energy Center that she got a call from her dad, answering it like it was just any other old phone call and not one that would ultimately change her entire life.

Just like when she was seven, that sinking feeling in her stomach was back, only this time around it was more poignant and felt like it would knock her legs out from beneath her and sink her down to the floor.

There had been an accident an hour earlier on the same street that the hotel where the Wild New Years Eve party had been hosted– a car accident. Jess and Steven had decided to check out early, walking to the cafe down the block from the hotel to grab some coffee and donuts to take with them before they would drive back to her dad’s to pick up Clara– Tori had the text conversation with Jess in her phone to prove it along with a “not as hungover as we thought, but hungover enough for sugary donuts” selfie of Jess and Steven that Jess had sent with her “good morning, we had a great time and I’ll text you when we get home” text.

Only Tori would never receive that text, because Jess and Steven would never make it home to their dad’s to pick up Clara. They would get hit by a drunk driver who ran a red light while they crossed the street in a crosswalk.

In an instant, she had lost her older sister and brother-in-law, while her niece had lost both of her parents— and it was a pain that Tori never, ever wanted her to feel. To add on top of it, in the flurry of grief and ‘what happens next’ endless scenarios, it was revealed in their will that if anything were to happen to either Jess or Steven…then Tori would become the legal guardian of Clara.

She had made the commitment to accept the position as Clara’s Godmother when they had asked her almost two weeks after Clara was born. And now, she knew the best way she could honor both her older sister and a man who was like a brother to her, by dedicating herself to making the best life possible for Clara.

The last eleven months of seeing grief counselors, balancing work, frequent trips to her dad’s house where Clara was staying for the meantime and her new responsibility of taking care of a soon-to-be eight-year-old as a soon-to-be 25-year-old….all of it had finally come down to now.

It was December. The week leading up to Christmas. Five days until their shared birthday and most importantly, six days until what would be Clara’s first Christmas without her parents.

And Tori had her heart set on making it as great as a Christmas it could be for Clara, just like her dad had done for her and Jess after their mom had died.

“Another month?!” Tori gasped, keeping her voice low as she leaned against the hall of her childhood home. “But Andrew, you said I’d be able to move in by tomorrow. I’ve already got friends to help me move everything up to that floor.”

“I know I did Tori, but they were finishing the inspection today and there was more mold in the apartment than we first thought, plus some issues with the kitchen and bathroom areas,” Andrew, one of the landlords of her apartment building said, actually sounding sincere. “I’m not going to let you and your niece move in there and put both of your healths at risk.”

Tori nodded, rubbing her right temple with her free hand. “I understand, Andrew.”

“Barb asked them to start as soon as possible because we know you need this two bedroom. So they’re going to start cleaning everything up tomorrow. The guy said that there might be a chance they finish before a month, but that’s the at most it’ll take, time that he gave her.”

“Thank you, Andrew. I appreciate it, really.” She replied, peeking around the corner into her Dad’s living room to see Clara still kneeling in front of the Christmas tree. “Thank you both for looking out for us, I really appreciate it.”

“You’ve had a really rough year, Tori and you’ve always been a really good tenant. Anything my wife and I can do to help you out, we’re more than happy to.”

Tori took a deep breath and exhaled, nodding again. “Keep me updated if there’s any changes.”

“Of course. Have a good day.”

Once she hung up the call, Tori let her head lean back against the wall once more as she closed her eyes. The moment that she had found out that she was going to be Clara’s guardian, Tori had put in a request for a two bedroom apartment. At the time, there was a six month waitlist, so her dad had agreed to take care of Clara until Tori could secure a two bedroom apartment for them both. It wasn’t like she had just dropped her niece off with her dad and went on with her life. On weekends when she had them free, she would drive back to her hometown and spend the night there, keeping herself as involved with Clara’s life as possible. She would pick her up from school, sometimes take her out of school and take her to lunch. She was just as involved in her niece’s life as her dad was, only she wasn’t sleeping down the hall every single night.

And three weeks ago, Barb, the other landlord of their complex, had called her to ask if she was still interested in the two bedroom apartment. And once she told Tori it was hers, Tori knew there were some steps to go through and she requested that Barb and Andrew have whoever it was doing the cleaning, be very thorough. Being grandparents themselves to kids around Clara’s age, they both agreed without a problem.

Until there was a problem that the hired cleaner had found and reported. Some mold that he thought might be more than a surface problem. Andrew and Barb had brought someone out to inspect…leading to the phone call that Tori had just hung up on. She knew it wouldn’t be a problem with her dad for Clara to live here for a month longer. He loved having Clara around, plus he knew that Tori was trying her best to get everything set up so that Clara would be comfortable and in a safe environment when it came time to move.

The only problem was that her dad was out west in Washington State, taking care of her Grandma Doris, who had fallen down in her apartment in the assisted living complex, broke her hip and needed to get surgery. He left only this morning when she and Clara dropped him off at the airport and his return was up in the air, but at most he said he could be back before or after New Years Eve. So now Tori was tasked with the problem of figuring out how they were going to spend Christmas and the week leading up to it, when she needed to be at work a few days this week and all of Clara’s belongings were here at her dad’s house.

Initially, she figured she’d just pack up her things and move into her dad’s place until he came back. Dealing with the extra commute wouldn’t be that bad and Clara wouldn’t have to relocate her things, more importantly they wouldn’t have to lug the already wrapped Christmas presents over to her apartment. However, the short trial run she did when her Dad had informed her of his trip out west– left her with leaving five minutes to spare before she would be deemed late to work.

Which is why they were over at her dad’s place– grabbing the presents already wrapped for her and Clara beneath the tree and putting them into an old foldable wagon before putting them into her car and driving back into the city.

“Aunt Tori, are we taking Grandpa’s too?” Clara asked, calling out.

Tori put her phone back into her front pocket and walked out from the hall, over towards the decorated Christmas tree. “We can if you want. That way if he’s able to come home earlier, we can have him come over to the apartment and open his presents there.”

Clara looked at her and then back at the tree. “But then Grandpa will have to drive back here with his presents, right?”

“He could always sleep on the couch,” Tori shrugged.

Clara laughed before scrunching her nose. “He’s old though.” She looked back towards the tree and sighed. “We can just drive over here when he comes home, right? So we can be with him when he opens his presents?’

“I think that sounds like a great plan, Clara.”

“Okay, I’ll leave them then,” she said, putting down the present that she’d been holding. “I think I got all of ours though. I’m ready.”

Tori nodded and grabbed onto the handle of the wagon as she let Clara walk ahead of her and they left her childhood home, tugging the Christmas presents that she and her dad had bought Clara, along with some of the presents Clara and her dad had bought for her. Once she helped Clara carry the wagon down the front porch steps, she walked back to the front door and made sure it was locked before walking towards her car to help Clara put her presents into the trunk.

This wasn’t how she expected to be spending Christmas. If anything, she was planning on spending the week here with her dad and Clara at her childhood home, making new memories and reliving old traditions– the three of them opening their presents together on Christmas morning and watching movies on Christmas Eve.

But life had a crazy way of flipping things upside down a lot of the time, and this was just one more hurdle she had to overcome.

“We don’t need that many groceries, Clara. We’re just here for some quick necessities.”

“You have like, nothing in your fridge, Aunt Tori!” Clara whined, hanging onto the end of the cart. “It’s like you’re trying to starve me.”

Tori laughed, shaking her head as she put a carton of eggs into the cart. “I’m pretty sure you can go a week without the betty crocker cake mix. We’re just here to get some breakfast stuff, cookies for Santa, some carrots for the reindeer and then maybe we can find one of those gingerbread house making kits.”

Clara audibly groaned as she leaned her head back, acting more thirteen than she was near eight. Today was supposed to be the day that the four boys down the hall would help Tori and Clara move into their new two bedroom apartment just a floor above where they were staying now– however, seeing that the apartment wasn’t ready for them to move in just yet, it was instead just an errand day, seeing as Tori had already taken off of work. Leaving her with the responsibility of entertaining Clara for the whole day, especially since groceries was the only errand she could come up with.

It didn’t help that Clara had been spewing off a “what are we gonna do later?” question what felt like every fifteen minutes. What she didn’t want to do was keep Clara inside of the house and sit her in front of the tv all day. She wanted to take her to play in the snow, go sledding, maybe even ice skate– do fun things that she could report back to her second grade class once winter break was over. But aside from the rink and the local spot in her childhood neighborhood, Tori couldn’t think of any place they could go ice skating at, especially seeing as driving to and from her old hometown with holiday traffic wasn’t ideal.

“Aunt Tori, I thought you were fun,” Clara groaned, her tone echoing just the same as they were in the grocery store, only now they were standing in the apartment hall, just in front of her door as she fished for her keys from the depths of her purse.

“I am fun,” Tori huffed, digging her hands and moving around all the non important things she had shoved into the crossbody bag.

“That sounds like something someone boring would say.” Clara replied, leaning her right shoulder against the wall.

“Tori? Boring?” They looked down the hall to see Ryan Hartman walking down the hall. “You must have the wrong Tori, squirt.”

“Hi Ryan, Mason, Jordan and Kirill!” Clara smiled, perking up. “Did you guys do anything fun today?”

“Just practice,” Jordan replied, as the group of four came to a stop. “What about you?”

“Just grocery shopping,” Clara replied, looking at Tori. “Where someone wouldn’t buy the Betty Crocker cake mix.”

“You’ll survive,” Tori replied, moving the plastic bag further onto her arm so she could use two hands. “I just need to find the keys–”

“Here, Tori, let me help,” Kirill said, coming up and grabbing the plastic bags from off of her arm, holding them for her as he smiled and nodded. “Go ahead.”

“Well would you look at that boys,” Mason teased, patting Kirill on the shoulders. “What a gentleman.”

Tori tried not to tuck her chin into her chest too much and hoped that her warm cheeks weren’t turning pink as she nodded at Kirill. “Thanks, Kirill. My arm was killing me.”

She quickly found her keys in her purse and grabbed them, unlocking the front door and motioning for Clara to go inside. “Let them get back to their apartments and nap.”

“Oh great,” Clara sighed dramatically. “Now I get to be more bored and watch tv.”

“No plans?” Jordan asked, as Clara walked into the apartment.

“None that I can think of that aren’t back home. I spend every Christmas back there, I don’t know of anything happening around here.”

Jordan laughed, shaking his head. “Did you completely forget about the family skate they’re doing down at the rink later? The one’s for players and staff?”

Tori blinked, looking at the four of them. “Wasn’t that last week?”

“Try today in about two hours, Tor,” Ryan said. “We’re just grabbing lunch and then heading back.”

“CAN WE GO ICE SKATING AUNT TORI? I WANT TO GO!” Clara said, running back towards the door. “Please, please, please, please–”

“I– do you even know how to skate?”

“I can help!” Kirill chimed in, sheepishly smiling once he realized just how loud his interruption had been. “I don’t mind helping.”

“PLEASE AUNT TORI? PLEASSSEEEEEE–”

“Fine, fine,” Tori laughed, shaking her head as she took the bags from Kirill and playfully pointed at him. “But I’m counting on you not to let her fall if she turns out to be a total bambi.”

“I won’t.”

“Alright, so get ready, we’ll swing by in a few to pick you up and we’ll all head over together,” Ryan said, patting both of Kirill’s shoulders before the four men made their way down the hall to their apartments and Tori walked back into hers.

“This is gonna be so much fun, I can’t wait!” Clara squealed, running back to Tori’s bedroom. “I need to grab some thicker socks!”

Tori just sighed, shaking her head as she locked the door behind her and moved the groceries onto the kitchen island, prepared to unpack them before the boys came back.

It was funny. In all of her time working for the Wild, she’d never actually been to one of the family skates as a participant. Maybe once or twice to fill in and capture some stuff for their social media team– but even that was only just there for a few minutes and then she went back home. But now, now she was actively sitting in the bench surrounded by some of the team and staff’s family who were either choosing not to skate or were caring for little ones who weren’t going onto the ice– while the players and the staff who chose to skate with their family members, were out gliding around on the ice ahead of her.

She was leaning against the edge of the bench arena watching out for Clara as Kirill had stuck to his word and stayed with her to make sure that she wouldn’t fall down and hurt herself. Tori knew that Clara had been skating a few times before, but she wasn’t sure how she would be able to handle being out by herself or her skating abilities at all. And Tori would be lying if she said that watching Kirill holding onto Clara’s hands and skating backwards as he pulled her along, didn’t make her weak in the knees. Being the kindhearted guy she knew he was, he was probably telling her words of encouragement as they moved around the rink and every so often when he would let her hands go, he would be cheering her on to catch up to him.

Kirill has always been the kind, gentle guy he is, since she met him his rookie season. And while she hadn’t originally seen herself falling for the brown eyed boy’s nature…she couldn’t help but do so. Anytime they saw each other at the rink, he’d always make sure to say hi and talk to her. Even if they didn’t cross paths, it seemed like he would actively go out of his way to pass by her and Kaia’s office to say hi. In the interviews she got to run, he was always more than eager to play into whatever she had planned– more so than any of the most playful guys on the team.

Perhaps the one thing that hooked her onto him the most, was when there were home games…he’d always meet her at her office or wait for her in the parking garage to get to her car before driving back to their apartment complex with her– just so he could walk her to her door and say goodnight. He was a gentleman, that was for sure. And Tori has been trying so hard not to let herself fall for him, because he was one of her closest friends.

However, it was proving very, very difficult and the only thing keeping her from totally falling for him, was the realization that he had yet to make a move– the confident, kind, hockey player…hadn’t even done as much as try to hold her hand on their walk out of the elevator and down their hall to their respective apartments.

“Hey Tori,” Kirill said, coming to a stop just next to her on the other side of the ice. “Why not come out and skate, hm?”

“What? Did you lose Clara?” She laughed, trying not to let herself melt into his warm and welcoming eyes.

He laughed, shaking his head before looking out onto the ice for a few seconds and then pointing out across the way. “She left me. She’s a lot better of a skater than she said. Fast learner too.”

“And now you need a skating buddy?”

“Mhhm, so come on, what do you say?” He asked, leaning against the boards and smiling. “What’s Clara do? Oh yeah, please, please, please, please–”

Tori covered his mouth as she laughed and shook her head. “Okay, fine, fine, I’ll skate with you.”

He moved slowly down to the bench gate as Tori awkwardly walked on her rented skates and when she reached the open door, Kirill held out his hand for her to take. The small action actually caused her heart to thump against her chest and she stared at his hand before reaching out and grabbing it, allowing him to take her cold hand into his warm one.

“Do I need to teach you too?” He teased, still holding onto her hand as she balanced on the ice and pushed away from the boards.

“Ha ha, no,” she replied, rolling her eyes and not wanting to drop his hand– but also wanting to prove to him that he was just as good a skater. “You might not know this about me, but I did figure skating growing up.”

His eyes widened as he started to quicken his pace to follow her. “Really?”

“No,” she laughed, looking over her shoulder and smiling at him. “But, we did go ice skating sometimes. So I’ve picked up a few things when I was younger.” She turned herself around, slowly starting to skate backwards as she kept up her pace. “See?”

“You’re the best out here,” he laughed. “How’s Christmas shopping going?”

“I think my dad and I have gotten Clara just about everything she asked for,” she replied, turning herself back around and somehow keeping herself balanced. “The only thing I can’t find is this like, DIY living room tent thing? I don’t know, it’s something she saw on youtube and it’s like a cute tent she can put up with some lights and stuff.”

“Is that what she really wants?” He asked, looking concerned.

Tori nodded, bringing out her phone. “Yeah, she had it highlighted under both her birthday list and Christmas list.” She pulled up safari which opened up the link to the tent, handing him her phone. “I’ve looked at just about every retail store, Amazon, their website…and I guess I keep missing the restocks or something because I’ve had no luck.”

Kirill looked at her phone, and he noticed him scrolling, probably trying to read and look at the product. “Want me to help?”

“No, no that’s okay,” she replied, taking her phone as he handed it back and putting it into her front pocket. “I’m sure they’ll restock it after Christmas and I’ll find a way to grab it then.”

“Hi Aunt Tori, hi Kirill, look at me!” Clara smiled, skating by them at a faster pace.

“Please be careful!” Tori called out, her plea falling on deaf ears as she slowly turned herself back to skating backwards. “She’s so cocky, I don’t know where she gets it from.”

“No?” Kirill laughed, raising his eyebrows.

“Totally a lie, she gets it from Jess and I. We were best friends, but we always used to compete at who was the best,” she smiled, starting to freely move backwards and getting a little more comfortable. “Jess could never really get the whole skating backwards thing, but me? Nailed it easily. You can tell too, can’t you?

“You could be on the team,” he smiled, staying close as he skated by her side.

“I wouldn’t go that far,” she said, brushing off her shoulder. “Wouldn’t want to take your job–oh!”

She felt her skate hit a ridge, knocking her off balance and sending her falling backwards to the ice. She fully expected to make contact with the cold ice, even preparing herself for trying not to hit her head…but her body never met the cold ground. She looked up to see Kirill standing there…no, holding her– he’d caught her from hitting the ground.

“You okay?” He asked, looking down at her as he had her in his firm and secure grasp.

Tori nodded, trying her best to laugh it off as if her heart wasn’t racing inside of her chest. “I guess I’m still a little bit rusty.”

“Not too bad,” he smiled, helping her hand back up and then standing in front of her. “But maybe I should help you like I helped Clara, yeah?”

He held out both of his hands and Tori found herself thanking the cold environment for hiding the fact that her cheeks weren’t red from the cold, but from the blushing she had going on. She nodded and reached out, grabbing onto both of his hands and smiled. “Yeah, I could use a lot of it. You won’t let go, right?”

Her last comment was meant to be a little teasing, but deep down inside, she was asking him not to let go of her hands because she enjoyed holding them– feeling the callouses from years of playing hockey against her soft palms.

Kirill shook his head, still smiling. “I won’t let you go.”

Tori never expected she’d have to go into the office while the team was on a two game roadie, but there she was, trudging into the office during a snowfall while Clara tagged along, practically bouncing her way down the halls as she took in the sights of the stadium. The one thing that Tori always loved about kids and hockey, was that it was always as if they were seeing the stadium and the halls and the decorative wallpaper with players and history past and present…for the first time. It was also just so magical to them, which reminded her to never lose that spark for her job.

Kaia had come in earlier, which is why Tori knew she needed to. There was some files that Kaia couldn’t locate on her work computer that had to do with their upcoming plans for interviews after the holidays and Tori knew they were on hers– the only problem was that her computer was in her office– not home with her. It was a simple fix, all she’d need to do was grab her laptop, check the files were on there and email them to Kaia before taking her laptop home with her.

Clara wanted to see everything though, because she’d never seen what Tori’s office was like. No one was there, so Tori let her look around the office and then as they were leaving, they passed one of the equipment managers who had stayed home on the trip and once Tori told him she was giving Clara a tour, he offered to let them take a look around the locker room.

It was nothing but excitement once they walked into the decorated locker room, Tori having been in there once or twice before, but never realizing just how huge it was when there were twenty some guys lounging around. Clara went on the search for the lockers of the four men from down the hall, sitting in each one and asking Tori to take a picture so she could send it to them. And when she did, she was greeted with lots of laughing emojis and a few “is she trying to take my job?” comments.

But once they were on their way home, Tori knew that they could relax for the rest of the day. Maybe order in some chinese and watch whatever it was on tv that Clara wanted to watch– Christmas movies or not. Once they parked, Tori felt her pocket vibrate and pulled out her phone to see she had a text from Barb saying that she had a package up at the front desk.

“Quick detour, Clara, we’ve got to pick something up at the front desk first,” Tori said, putting her phone back into her pocket and taking a left in the parking garage towards the door that would lead into the lobby of the apartment building versus the elevator to take them to their floor.

Barb was sitting at the computer behind the counter and immediately greeted them with a smile once she saw them. “Perfect timing,” she said, coming around the corner of the desk. “This just got dropped off about five minutes ago with the rest of the amazon deliveries.”

“Amazon?” Tori asked, furrowing her eyebrows. “I don’t remember ordering anything…”

“Maybe it’s from Grandpa!” Clara smiled. “A last minute present!”

“Maybe,” Tori said, taking the long box and realizing it did have her name on it. “Hm, we’ll just go upstairs and I’ll open it in my room to see what it is. Thanks again, Barb.”

“Of course, you two have a good rest of your day. Warm up a bit, your noses are red.”

“Bye Mrs. Barb,” Clara waved, now carrying Tori’s computer bag over her shoulder as they made their way towards the elevator, Tori trying not to struggle carrying the long box.

“Are you sureeee I can’t look at it?” Clara smiled as the elevator started to move.

“I’m sure,” Tori replied, smiling back. “It’s too close to your birthday and Christmas for you to open anything.”

Clara huffed as the elevator doors opened and they walked out into the hallway, making their way to the apartment door. Once Tori unlocked the door and nudged it open with her foot, Clara walked inside, resting the computer bag onto the island counter. “I’ll be right here, not looking at my present.”

“You do that,” Tori laughed, closing and locking the door behind her before making her way down the hall to her bedroom and locking that door behind her as well. She placed the box onto the floor and walked into her bathroom, grabbing a pair of scissors she had to trim the candles along her bathtub and walking back into the room, kneeling onto the ground.

She had stopped a majority of her Christmas shopping last week, anything she bought now was just some small stuff she figured that Clara would like that could go into her stocking, so she couldn’t imagine what was in this box, because as far as she knew, she didn’t have anything out for delivery. When she lifted the open edges of the box, her jaw dropped…it was the tent she’d been searching for for weeks– the only thing is…she didn’t order it.

But who did?

She grabbed the box and opened her bedroom door, walking out into the living room where Clara was on the couch. “Alright, I’ll let you open this one present before your birthday. But just this one, got it?”

Clara smiled, jumping off of the couch and running over as Tori put the box down onto the ground. She squealed in excitement once she saw what was in the box, throwing the sides open and reaching in to grab it. “Oh my God, Aunt Tori!!!! It’s the tent!!!!” She smiled, looking up at her. “Can we please clear some space so we can open it? Pretty please, please, please, please?”

“Of course,” Tori laughed, helping her take the box out of the amazon box and smiling. “Just give me a minute and we’ll clear out a space for it.”

She walked over to the island counter, resting the box against it when she saw her phone lit up with a text from Kirill.

Kirill 🐻: I see you got the amazon delivery. Was that the right one?

Her eyes widened as she looked over her shoulder to see Clara still admiring the box the tent came in. SHe walked further into the kitchen and kept her back to Clara as she clicked on his contact and opened up a facetime call. It only rang a few times before he answered it, his smiling face appearing on the screen. “Hey–”

“You bought it? But how did you– where did you–” Tori was speechless.

“I remembered you showing it to me at family skate,” he said, laying down in the hotel bed he was at. “I looked for it and I must’ve been lucky because they restocked it on Amazon that night, so I ordered it and paid for express shipping.”

“Kirill, I…” she sighed, shaking her head. “I don’t know how to say thank you, but–”

“You don’t need to,” he replied, shaking his head. “I saw you were stressed about it and I wanted to help. I like seeing you happy…Clara too,” he smiled.

Tori smiled, nodding her head. “Thank you so, so much. You just made her birthday I’m sure.” She looked over her shoulder at Clara. “Clara, come say thank you to Kirill for finding the tent.”

Clara ran over and in an instant, appeared right by Tori’s side and into the frame. “Kirill, you’re the best and you’re my favorite person in the whole entire world!” She squealed, jumping up and down.

Kirill laughed, shaking his head. “Can I see the tent when we get back home?”

“Duh!” Clara smiled. “You’ll be the first guest besides Aunt Tori! Unless you guys want to see it together.”

“Go unpack your text,” Tori replied, rolling her eyes and nudging Clara out of the kitchen. “Kirill, I really can’t express how much this means to her…and to me.”

“You don’t need too, just as long as it makes you both happy,” he said, sitting up in the bed. “I need to go now, got to get ready for the bus ride to the arena.”

“Good luck tonight, score a goal or two, hm?” She smiled, wrapping her left around around her waist.

Kirill laughed, nodding his head. “Make it two, one for you one for Clara.” She felt the butterflies liven in her stomach when he said it, still smiling. “I’ll talk to you later.”

“Bye Kirill, good luck.”

“WAIT,” he said, appearing back in the frame. “Before I go, I wanted to know if um…” he cleared his throat, appearing a little nervous. “If you wanted to be my date for the Christmas Party…or we can go as friends–”

She felt her heart pound against her chest at the mention of that one word– date. She smiled, nodding her head. “A date will be nice,” she spoke softly.

Kirill lit up, his smile big as he nodded. “Okay, great, I’ll talk to you later then! Bye.”

She hung up the phone call, biting onto her bottom lip as she brought her phone up beneath her chin and tried to stop herself from smiling so big. She couldn’t wrap her mind around just how he had been searching for the tent after she told him how she was really wanting to buy it for Clara since it was the thing she wanted most. He didn’t have to do that…but he did, because he wanted Clara to be happy just as much as she did.

“Aunt Tori, come on,” Clara said, standing up in the living room. “I’ve got it unpacked!”

Tori laughed, nodding her head. “Alright, we’ve got a tent to build.”

She went to put her phone down onto the counter, seeing it light up one more time with a text from Kirill.

Kirill 🐻: Can’t wait! 😊

If it was up to Tori, she would bring Clara along with her to the Wild Christmas Party tonight. Clara was a social girl, she seemed to love Ryan, Kirill, Mason and Jordan, and she knew there was no doubt in her mind that she would also get along with the rest of the players and staff she’d meet at the party. However, the party would go pretty late into the evening and keeping her up that late, even though she was on Christmas break didn’t exactly scream ‘I’m a responsible guardian.’ Even though she remembered all the times on holidays where her parents let her and Jess stay up late (and she thought they were great parents), this was something she was new at and she was too scared to mess it up– even over something so incredibly small.

So, she called up Maddie, her old childhood best friend and college roommate who Clara knows well, seeing as Maddie was close to Jess too, and asked if maybe she’d be able to babysit Clara for a few hours while Tori was just minutes down the road in one of the ballrooms at the St. Paul Hotel.

Once the two had left the arena after her brief stop into the office to check her emails, they went out to breakfast and then went shopping. Any and every store that Clara had wanted to stop in, Tori never said no. She wanted the day to be a good one. One where they stopped at Starbucks and got Clara a lemon loaf and a hot chocolate while she got herself a cake pop and a hot chocolate as well. Sipping and snacking on their drinks while they went to target and they took turns pointing out what they hoped Santa would bring for them– Tori taking pictures whenever Clara wasn’t looking so she knew what she could send an order out for tomorrow and have someone swing by and pick it up when she had the chance.

And when they came home, they sat down at the small kitchen table with their to-go lunches they grabbed from a panera down the street and sat down together to eat. Tori listened while Clara talked about which Christmas movies they should watch. How she relived telling her the play-by-play of the day she, Tori and the boys went ice skating three days prior. And when lunch was over, Clara sat in the living room watching Julie and the Phantoms (again) on Netflix while Tori took a quick shower, getting dressed into some light pajamas before walking out and checking on Clara.

“Everything okay here?” She asked, towel drying her hair. “Do you need anything?”

“I’m good,” Clara replied, looking over at her. “What are you doing?”

“I’m gonna do my hair and put on some make-up,” Tori replied, softly squeezing the water out of the ends of her hair.

Clara perked up on the arm of the couch, a small smile on her face. “Can I help?”

Tori smiled, draping her towel over her arm. “You want to?” Clara nodded, pushing herself up onto her knees and Tori just nodded her over. “Alright, let’s go to my bathroom.”

Clara jumped off of the couch and ran over to her brushing by and going down the short hall before making a left into Tori’s bedroom. Tori just laughed as she followed behind, walking into her bedroom and then going into her conjoining bathroom where Clara was leaning against the sink.

“Once I’m done blow drying my hair, what do you think I should do? Curl it or straighten it?” She asked, grabbing her blow dryer and plugging it into an outlet.

“Hm…” Clara squinted as she focused on her. “Straighten! You already have curly hair.”

“I have waves,” Tori laughed, looking down at Clara. “Your mom got the curls from our mom, your Grandma Clara.”

She spoke before she thought about how mentioning Jess might affect Clara. It was just so natural for the words to come out, she couldn’t help it. She felt guilty when she thought she saw a flicker of sadness wash across Clara’s hazel eyes– her father’s eyes– before she just walked over and sat down on the edge of the tub.

“Can I play music on your phone while you dry your hair?” She asked, kicking her feet. Tori nodded and picked up her phone, handing it to Clara after she synced it with her bluetooth speaker that was set up in her bathroom. “Any requests?”

“Whatever your little Christmas loving heart desires,” Tori smiled, getting ready to turn the blow dryer on before turning back towards Clara, pointing the dryer at her. “Except the hippopotamus song, that’s my ultimate crossing the line song.”

“You’re no fun,” Clara replied, rolling her eyes before looking back down at the phone, her small fingers scrolling up the phone screen in search for a song to play.

Tori had to point out that she had a Christmas playlist on Spotify, ultimately finding it for her and then letting Clara pick whatever songs she wanted to play from the list as she blow dried her hair. The two of them sang along to all of the classics even as Tori switched from blow drying her hair to straightening it.

The both of them burst into song with smiles on their faces once Mariah Carey’s classic, ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ came on, and though the memories of her and Jess doing the very same thing when they were younger flooded her mind, seeing Clara sing her little heart out, belting the notes at the top of her lungs, was enough to wipe away the sad afterthought just long enough for Tori to finish straightening her hair.

“Are you sure about the gold eyeshadow? You don’t think it’s too much?” Tori asked, looking away from her small portable mirror and turning to face the soon to be eight-year-old.

“I think it brings out your eyes,” Clara replied, swinging her sitting besides Tara on the floor, using the small bathtub carpet to place the make-up she had placed just in front of her to ‘help figure out our options.’ “You guys have pretty eyes…” Clara paused and then looked back down at the make-up containers in front of her. “Had, I guess.”

Tori swallowed the knot in her throat, wanting to comfort the sadness that Clara was feeling, but even her correction into a past tense had been so soft, Tori wandered if acknowledging it was going to be the right thing to do. “Well I think you have the prettiest eyes.”

“They’re alright,” Clara shrugged, picking up a lip pencil. “They’re just brown.”

“They’re hazel,” Tori corrected, putting down the liquid golden eyeshadow after closing the tube. “And even if they were just brown, they’re still beautiful. Brown eyes are like…” she paused, trying not to let herself picture the moment at ice skating when she almost embarrassed herself falling down and Kirill caught her fall. “They’re warm and sometimes when they’re really brown, they’ve got this depth in them…like that person’s got all of the secrets in the world hidden behind their eyes. And when the light catches them? Magical. It’s like they can change a multitude of shades and–”

Clara was smiling, catching Tori off guard. “Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Because you have a crussshhhhh,” Clara sang, handing Tori the pencil. “And it’s on Kirilllllll.”

“I do not,” Tori scoffed, taking the pencil and looking at the shade before uncapping it, shaking her head. “I do not, nope.”

“Yes you do,” Clara giggled, sitting up from her butt and onto the backs of her heels. “And you know how I know? Because he has brown eyes and you went all,” she fluttered her eyelashes and smiled, cupping her hands beneath her face as if she was playing a lovesick girl in a movie. “When talking about brown eyes.”

Tori laughed, turning her focus back to the mirror to apply her lip liner. “Just because he has brown eyes and I romanticized them to make YOU feel better, doesn’t mean I have a crush on Kirill. Now find me a shade of lipstick, my little make-up guru.”

Ever like her mother, Clara rolled her eyes at Tori’s playoff of the all too real situation that she’d brought up. But crushing on the guy just down the hall wasn’t really something she wanted her niece to call her out on. It was bad enough that it had been something Jess had picked up on last year when she and Steven had a date night to a game and met her afterwards.

And it didn’t help that Tori had always been the kind of girl who let the smallest of moments and things turn into the biggest when it came to love and things like it. Thoughts always spent a little extra time in her head and her brain would spin them and turn them into special butterfly inducing memories until her feelings were almost as big as the heart her mom always told her she had and one that “anyone would be lucky to have love them.” The absolute last thing that she needed was for her brain to spin the small moments, big moments, and every funny tik tok, simple text or wave from Kirill, into something butterfly inducing. The absolute, very, very, VERY last thing she needed…was to have feelings for the kindhearted, brown-eyed boy down the hall.

Or, you know, that she needed to acknowledge them. Because she knew deep down that there were feelings there for him, small or large she didn’t know. She didn’t want to allow herself to feel those, when she wasn’t even sure about whether or not him having similar feelings for her were possible.

“Aunt Tori,” Clara said, waving the lipstick in front of her face. “How’s this shade?”

Tori cleared her throat, removing herself from her inner thoughts before looking at the perfect match of a shade of red lipstick and smiling. “It’s perfect. I should just have you do my make-up from now on, that way I can sit back and relax while you do all the work.”

“Only if you boost my allowance up to $10,” she said, standing up and brushing off her pants.

“Only if you actually do your chores,” Tori replied, carefully applying her lipstick onto her top lip before blotting it with the bottom.

Clara extended her hand out, nodding. “Deal.”

Tori laughed and shook her hand before returning back to applying her lipstick, Clara coming over with a folded up piece of toilet paper before she even had to ask. “Do you just watch those beauty youtubers all the time?”

“Mainly tiktok, but sometimes I watch youtube. I’m gonna go get a snack.”

“Okay, I’ll be out there in a bit,” she replied, capping her lipstick and blotting using the toilet paper. She collected the makeup from beside her and put it all back into the storage where it belonged before standing up and putting her make-up all back onto her bathroom counter.

She took a step back from the counter, moving her hair off of her shoulders and towards her back as she took in the job that she and Clara had done together. She was still getting used to the way her curtain bangs were framing her face, knowing that Jess would be right over her shoulder and telling her that she knew she’d second guess getting the hairstyle. That was the thing though, she wasn’t sure if she did second guess getting it…she just liked the idea of being able to hear her older sister tease her in the back of her mind.

Besides, Clara, her dad and Kirill said that they liked her hair. Though perhaps Kirill’s approval was right up there with Clara’s– almost a close second.

Tori turned off the bathroom light and walked into her bedroom, going over to her walk-in closet and opening the door, not even needing to turn on the light to know where her dress for tonight was at. She’d hung it just next to the door the moment after she’d washed it…the same day she bought it. She’s been excited to wear it from the moment she saw it on a random shopping trip during her lunch break with Kaia. It wasn’t anything extravagant, but it was a dress that when she jokingly tried it on…she felt different in it.

She imagined, as she stood there in that dressing room with the lights illuminating her closed stall, that this feeling…whatever it was, was what her mom had talked about when she and Jess were growing up. That one day, when they were engaged and wedding dress shopping, that it would be nothing like shopping for homecoming dresses or prom dresses was going to be. That the dress, would make them feel like they were the most beautiful person in the room. Her mom was right, she and Jess never felt that way shopping for their homecoming or prom dresses– but she knew Jess had felt that moment the day she, after trying on what felt like every dress in the bridal shop, tried on the dress she would wear when she walked down the aisle to Steve.

Granted, Tori hadn’t bought her dress while preparing for her wedding, but the way she suddenly saw herself in a different light as the deep green, sparkly velvet material hugged her body as if it were made just for her. Feeling the soft material cut in an A-line on her chest and flare out into a skater dress just at her mid thigh, she stood there so long in that dressing room admiring the way the dress looked, that Kaia had knocked on the door saying “the dress can’t be that bad.”

And it wasn’t, because the moment Tori walked out of the dressing room, Kaia told her to turn right back around and change because, “you are so buying that dress.”

She grabbed the hanger, bringing the dress out of her closet and then walking towards her bed as she laid it down on top of her comforter. She changed out of her sweatpants and tank top and grabbed the dress, sliding the material off of it’s hanger and stepping into the dress, the material hugging against her body, feeling the velvet against the palms of her hands as she rubbed her hands down the stress, flattening out any wrinkles. Also in her closet, were the shoes she was going to wear tonight as well.

“What, Clara?” She called out, swearing she heard Clara’s voice. She bent down and quickly slid on each heel before making her way out of her bedroom and down the short hallway, eventually coming into her shared living and dining rooms.

“I said, Maddie’s here,” Clara replied, walking over towards the couch and sitting down next to Maddie.

“You answered the door?” Tori asked, eyes wide as she walked over to the small island counter where she had set down the purse she was going to use tonight, was. “I know for a fact that you were taught not to answer the door–”

“For strangers,” Clara replied, shrugging. “I got a chair and looked through the peephole to see who it was. Maddie’s not a stranger, so I answered it.”

Tori sighed, shaking her head. “Okay, technically she’s not a stranger, but you should’ve come back and told me that Maddie was here before opening the door. For all you know she could be on one of her crazy trips and rob us blind.”

Maddie rolled her eyes as she sipped on her Starbucks refresher. “Ha ha, very funny. Mind you, I’m here aren’t I?”

“Yes and thank you for that,” Tori replied, grabbing her small clutch and making sure she had transferred everything over that she’d need for tonight.

“Yeah, yeah, what are besties for, now come over here so we can see the final look.” Maddie said, waving her over. “Full on fashion show like the ones we used to do in fifth grade.”

This time, Tori rolled her eyes as she put the clutch back down onto the island and walked into the living room. “Do I really–”

Maddie held her hand up, shaking her head. “I said, fashion show. So strut.”

Clara laughed, sitting up on her knees in excitement as they both had their eyes on Tori, who was giving into the demands and like when she was a kid, put on her best “supermodel” runway walk and walked into the living room, doing a twirl and then playfully flipping her hair over her shoulder before stopping in front of them and sighing, shrugging her arms. “So? Thoughts?”

Maddie looked at Clara and then leaned over, cupping her ear and whispering as Clara shook her head and then nodded, her face going through a whole slew of emotions before finally nodding again. Maddie sat up straight and the two looked at each other before Clara looked back at Tori and smiled.

“We think you look hot.”

Tori laughed, throwing her head back just barely as she shook her head. “Well thank you, but hot should not be in your vocabulary yet. Wait until you’re like…I don’t know, 18.”

“18?! But that’s forever!” Clara whined, falling back against the couch. “14.”

A knock on the door interrupted what Tori was going to say as she pointed at Clara. “We’ll talk about it later.” She walked towards the door, already knowing who was going to be on the other side since this was about the time that they agreed in their group chat to meet up so they could all travel to the party together.

“Hey guy…oh, hi” she expected to see Ryan, Kirill, Mason and Jordan, along with three of their dates she knew were tagging along. But instead…it was only Kirill standing at her front door, dressed very nice in a black suit that had gold trim, along with a dark gray shirt underneath.

And he was wearing the hell out of the suit.

“Hi,” he spoke, clearing his throat soon after as he pointed his thumb down the hall. “The guys sent me here. We’re ready to go, are you?”

“I am,” she nodded, trying not to focus on the way she could see his eyes taking in her dress. “I just um,” she looked over her shoulder. “Need to grab my purse…come on in.”

“Thanks,” he nodded, sucking in his lips as he kept his hands in his pockets and walked into her apartment, closing the door behind him.

“Hi Kirill!” Clara said, standing up from the couch and walking over. “What’s with the funny suit?”

Kirill smiled as he held out his fist for her to bump. “Funny suit?”

Clara giggled as she shook her head. “You’re just really dressed up! I only ever see you wearing jeans and stuff.”

“Oh,” he replied, looking a little embarrassed as Tori turned around. “A Christmas party. I’m picking up Tori.”

“Mhhm and now we’re getting ready to leave, so please be on your best behavior for Maddie,” Tori said, draping the chain of her clutch purse over her shoulder and pointing to Maddie. “And no obscene amount of sugar after eight.”

“No fun,” Maddie replied, waving at Kirill. “Hey Kirill, take care of our girl tonight please. No shenanigans.”

“Shenanigans?” He asked, looking at Tori, his cheeks tinting pink as he looked for a translation.

“No pranks, practical jokes,” Tori replied, shaking her head. “Ignore her.” She turned back towards Clara bending down to her level and holding out her pinky finger. “Promise to be on your best behavior?”

“You’re leaving?” Clara asked, her eyebrows furrowing as she looked between Tori and Kirill.

Tori nodded, adjusting her clutch chain, going to kiss the top of Clara’s head. “Just down the street to the team Christmas party. I promise I’ll be back–”

“No!” Clara yelled, backing herself away from the affectionate moment.

The three adults stood there in shock at the way the personable and bubbly, but often quiet, Clara raised her voice so defiantly.

“No, you can’t go!” Tori could see the way Clara’s face began to crumble and knew she was only moments away from crying. “If you go, you won’t come back! My mommy and daddy didn’t!”

Tori stepped towards Clara, ready to comfort the now crying child. “Clara–” Just as she went to get down to her level, Clara spun around on her heels and ran back towards the only bedroom of the apartment– Tori’s– slamming the door shut behind her.

The silence was loud and heavy as she stared down the hall, the most outrageous part expecting her for Clara to come back out laughing– that it was all a joke. But the big part of her, the one that knew Clara was genuinely upset, scared even…that part tugged at her heart, causing an ache so deep that it didn’t take her a second to turn around to face Kirill.

“I’m sorry,” she spoke, shaking her head as she took her clutch off of her shoulder. “I can’t go tonight. I can’t–” she looked back over her shoulder, shaking her head as she looked back at him. “I can’t leave her like this.

She couldn’t tell what exactly it was that he was feeling– confused at what went down, sad that she was bailing, concerned for Clara or maybe even a little scared at the outburst– but like he always did, he put on that small, comforting smile that always gave her the biggest of butterflies, and nodded his head.

“I’ll let the guys know.” He walked back to her door, opening it as she followed behind him. He turned back around, his eyes looking just past her and over her shoulder. “Tell Clara I hope she’s okay.”

Tori leaned against the door, nodding. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Again, I’m sorry. I know–”

“It’s okay, Tori.” He replied, still smiling as she rocked back on his heels. “See you later.”

She waved as she watched him walk back down the hall towards his room most likely to grab the rest of their group before looking back into her apartment and sighing, nodding at Maddie. “You should probably go too.”

Maddie nodded, getting up off of the couch and collecting her things off of the island counter before coming over to Tori, not hesitating a single moment before wrapping her arms around her and hugging her. “It’s not your fault.”

“I didn’t–” Tori paused, as Maddie pulled back and she looked down the hallway. “I should’ve known she’d get upset and I didn’t think about that.” She took a deep breath, exhaling as she looked back at Maddie, feeling the tears burn in her eyes. “Jess would’ve known what to do. She would’ve known–”

“Hey, don’t get down on yourself, Tor,” Maddie said, holding onto Tori’s arms. “This…all of this is new to you, but you’ve done a hell of a job so far. No one expects you to be perfect, okay? You had one slip up and even then…you’re doing your damndest. You’re canceling your plans to make sure that Clara is okay.”

Maddie reached up and cupped her face, gaining her attention as she looked into her eyes. “You’re trying, Tori. You’re trying and you’re learning…and that’s all Jess and Steven both would have wanted.”

Tori nodded, hugging Maddie again before pulling away. “Thank you.”

“You know I’ll always be here for you,” she smiled, walking out of her apartment door. “And send me that receipt for your Target order, I’ll swing by and pick it up tomorrow. Love you Tor.”

“Love you too, Mads,” Tori replied, waiting until she saw Maddie get into the elevator before closing and locking her apartment door for the night.

She took a few deep breaths as she took off her shoes and placed her purse back onto the counter before making her way back down the hall, coming to a stop in front of her bedroom door. She raised her fist, holding it there for a few spare moments before knocking on the door. “Clara?”

Tori pressed her ear against the door, hearing her fan on the other side of the door blowing, but not a peep from Clara. She knocked again, keeping her ear against the door. “Clara, can you come out please? Or let me in?”

Still silence and Tori was starting to feel defeated as she exhaled and let her body fully lean against the door. “I’m sorry that I didn’t tell you about the party. I…I didn’t even think about,” she paused, unsure of how to say the idea that maybe Clara would have some kind of reservations about Tori going to a party, without making it seem as if she wasn’t considering her feelings. “I’m sorry that I made you upset, that’s the last thing I ever want to do.”

“I sent Maddie and Kirill home, so it’s just gonna be me and you tonight.” She crossed her arms, focusing on the sounds from the other side of the door. “And I don’t know about you, but I’m kind of hungry…so I think I’m gonna order a pizza. If you want some, just let me know.”

The one thing that she learned between her Dad and Clara’s therapist, was that she needed to let Clara come to terms with things on her own time. Not to force her to talk about it before she was ready or ignore it when the time came. If she had questions, then it was okay to answer them until Clara either started to look uncomfortable or stop asking questions altogether. So that’s what she was going to do, she held out her olive branch of a pizza offering and was going to sit in the living room and wait until Clara hopefully would leave the room and join her.

Tori had ordered the pizza on her phone and sat down onto the couch, leaning back into the warm material as she stared at the “are you still watching?” Netflix screen. It was only a few minutes after she placed the order for pizza when she heard her bedroom door open from down the hall, Clara appearing at the end of the hall a couple of seconds later.

“You still want to watch Julie and the Phantoms?” Tori asked, nodding towards the tv screen.

Clara nodded, keeping quiet as she slowly made her way over to the couch and sat down right beside Tori, immediately curling herself up against her side. “Why didn’t you go to the Christmas party?”

Tori shrugged, reaching up and brushing Clara’s hair back as she continued to play the show. “You were upset and I didn’t want to leave you behind,” she replied, looking down at her. “Besides, hanging out with you is a lot more fun than going to a fancy Christmas party.”

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” Clara spoke softly, resting her head against Tori’s chest. “I just–”

“Sh, you don’t have to apologize, Clara,” Tori replied, tucking some of her hair behind her ear. “I know.”

They sat there for a relaxed moment before Clara looked up at Tori, pouting. “But now you’re all dressed up and pretty…”

Tori smiled, sitting up straight. “How about we change over into some pj’s, then I can do your hair and make-up and after that, we’ll clean it all up and have a spa night like your mom and I used to have with our mom?”

Clara perked up and nodded, a smile on her face. “Okay!” She scrambled off of the couch and headed towards the hall. “Face masks too?”

“Of course,” Tori scoffed, standing up off of the couch and following behind her, holding onto the hand Clara had outstretched towards her. “We’ll go all out, I promise.”

And they did.

After changing into some comfortable pajamas, Tori rounded up all of the spa stuff she had available in her bathroom and they walked back out into living room area with spa and make-up stuff in hand. Just like when Clara was helping Tori get ready, she had picked out all of the colors she wanted to wear, and Tori would apply it. She opted for having her hair curled and once it came down to make-up. And to no surprise, Clara had handed Tori the golden eyeshadow she had picked out for her earlier in the evening, when Tori had asked what eyeshadow she wanted.

“With as knowledgeable as you are about make-up, I give it until you’re 12 to be better at it than me,” Tori joked, carefully applying the finishing touches on the eyeshadow. “I was never this good at make-up, I only learned a little in high school and then a little more in college.”

Clara kept her eyes closed as Tori shut the eyeshadow pallet and then grabbed the eyeliner. “I like watching youtube and tik toks,” she said, sitting still as Tori began applying the eyeliner. “Plus I really liked watching my mom do her make-up, she looked really pretty.”

Tori smiled softly, nodding her head even though Clara couldn’t see. “Your mom was always very pretty.”

Silence settled over as Tori carefully applied the eyeliner to Clara’s top lid before having her open her eyes so she could apply it to the waterline. Words were none even as she put the eyeliner down and then grabbed the mascara, even more carefully applying it so she didn’t accidentally poke Clara in the eye.

“All right, you’re all done,” she smiled, putting the mascara tube down and grabbing the make-up mirror that she’d brought out from the bathroom and held it in front of Clara. “What do you think?”

Clara scooted closer to the mirror, turning her face side to side as she even played with the curls of her chestnut colored hair. “Do I look like my mom?” She asked, looking up at Tori with a softened expression.

“I–“ a knock on the door interrupted Tori’s reply, signaling that hopefully the pizza was here. “That must be the pizza.”

Tori got up off of the floor and walked over to the front door, peeping through the peephole and seeing the pizza delivery man. She opened the door, making small conversation as she was handed the receipt to sign before finally wishing the delivery man a good night and taking the pizza, closing the door behind her and walking into the kitchen as Clara walked in. They grabbed some plates and each put two slices of pizza and a cheesy breadstick onto their plate before Clara took their plates into the living room while Tori grabbed them each a cup of water to drink.

When they settled back into the living room and sat on the floor, Tori noticed the small silence that was still there as Clara started to eat her pizza and focus on the Hannah Montana episode that was playing on Disney+. She knew it was most likely because she’d never gotten the answer to her question since the pizza had been delivered and so Tori put her pizza back down onto her plate and turned towards Clara.

“You do look like your mom,” she said, watching as her response took a few seconds before it sunk into Clara’s focus that she had said something.

“I do?” Clara asked, her bite of pizza still in her mouth as she quickly chewed it and swallowed. “Or are you just saying that?”

“No, you do,” Tori smiled, nodding her head. “You have her hair, especially now with the curls–“

“But we curled it…”

“Your mom’s hair didn’t get curlier until she was 14, before that, her hair was straight just like yours. You have her nose and her cheeks,” she smiled, scooting closer to Clara. “You have your dad’s eyes and his dimple, but your smile,” she reached out and gently poked right by the outside corner of Clara’s left eye. “You definitely have your mom’s smile, it reaches up into your eyes.”

Clara smiled and just like she said, for a moment, Tori could see a glimpse of Jess just in her smile alone. “Thanks Aunt Tori.” She sighed, picking her pizza up again. “I’m sorry for ruining your date with Kirill.”

Tori laughed, shaking her head. “It wasn’t really a date…I was just his date to the party is all. And besides,” she nudged Clara, smiling. “I think we’re having more fun doing this than I would at a party.”

“Even if it meant you couldn’t go on your date?” She frowned.

Tori nodded. “Even if it meant missing out on tonight. Besides, if Kirill has a problem with me canceling so I can spend more time with you, then he’s not worth it.” She picked up her pizza and looked at Clara. “Boys will come and go Clara, but family is forever.”

Clara smiled and picked her pizza back up to eat and Tori joined in, sneaking a glimpse at her phone to see that she still didn’t have any messages from Kirill. It’s not like she was expecting him to text her throughout the night, because it was, after all, a team Christmas party…but she was also hoping that her hypothetical ‘if he has a problem’ scenario wasn’t real. Because a big part of her, though she would deny it if asked, did care for Kirill.

And she hoped he felt the same way.

It’d been maybe an hour and a half into their night, the make-up was all washed away and the two of them were lounging on the couch in their face masks, complete with some chopped up cucumbers to snack on as they watched The Polar Express, one of their favorite Christmas movies they watched as kids. If it wasn’t so late, Tori might have suggested the two of them bundle up into a jacket and boots and wander down the street to get some ice cream. But, since tomorrow was their birthday, she figured that could be something she treated Clara to during the day.

Because right now, Clara was close to being ready to fall asleep and a sugar rush would only keep her up for a little bit longer.

“Who’s that?” Clara asked, looking towards the front door following the soft knock they heard. “Is Maddie coming back?”

“I’m not sure,” Tori said, getting up off of the couch and keeping her blanket wrapped around her shoulders. She walked over to the door, looking through the peephole and immediately stepping away. “Shit.”

“What? Who is it?”

“It’s Kirill,” she replied, reaching up and touching her dried clay mask. “And my face is completely purple…”

Clara jumped off of the couch and ran by Tori, nudging her out of the way and unlocking the door locks before swinging the door open. “Hi Kirill! Come in!”

“Hi,” he laughed, going along as Clara grabbed onto his coat jacket and tried to tug him in as best as she could. “What are…” he paused and looked between both girls as Clara shut the door. “What’s on your faces?”

“Face masks to help us look young,” Clara chimed in, pointing at the plastic bags he was carrying. “Whatcha got there?”

He looked down at the plastic bag and then held it up. “I brought ice cream.”

“But,” Tori paused, seeing that he was still dressed up in his suit. “What about the party? It doesn’t end for another two and a half hours.”

Kirill smiled and shrugged. “It wasn’t fun and Ryan said he’d tell everyone I wasn’t feeling good.”

“Does this mean we can have ice cream, Aunt Tori?” Clara gasped, turning towards her and grabbing onto her hand, pouting. “It’d make me feel so much better! Pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty pleasseeeeee?”

“Yeah Tori, pretty please?” Kirill laughed, looking at her.

More than anything, she just wanted to wash the clay mask off of her face, even though it was looking like Kirill didn’t care that she was wearing it. “Okay,” she nodded, holding her blanket tighter. “We can have ice cream. We’ll just go wipe this stuff off our faces real quick and then–”

“No need!” Clara ran around the counter into the kitchen and grabbed the small stool Tori had for her, moving it in front of the sink and then turning the water on, vigorously rubbing her face with the water until the face mask was off.

Tori just sighed, grabbing a paper towel and ripping it, handing it to Clara. “Wipe around, you’ve got some flakes leftover.” She looked at Kirill and nodded. “I’ll be back.”

She swiftly made her way down the hall to her bedroom, walking in and going to the bathroom to wash the face mask off her face. She tried not to let her racing heart make her nervous at the fact that Kirill had left his own team’s Christmas party hours earlier, just to come by her apartment to make sure that they were okay. And he even brought ice cream. Those were two wins in her book and if she were to text Maddie and Kaia, no doubt in her mind that they would tease her and say that he’s definitely got feelings for her.

But she didn’t want that disappointment, because maybe he was just a friendly guy.

When she wiped her face dry, she walked back out and down the hall, seeing Kirill still standing at the counter, only now he was holding an ice cream scooper in his hand and looking at Clara for approval as he dropped a second scoop into the bowl. “Good?”

“Mm, one more.”

“No, two is good,” Tori laughed, shaking her head. “You need to sleep at some point tonight, because tomorrow is a big day.”

“Our birthday!” Clara smiled, looking at Kirill. “Are you guys coming to my party? It’s just Aunt Tori, Maddie and me right now.”

Kirill laughed as he handed over the bowl of ice cream. “I would love to come.”

“Sweet,” Clara smiled, grabbing her bowl before giving him a hug. “Thanks Kirill, you’re the best.”

She ran off before he could reply and Tori walked over, taking her place at the end of the island. “This was really nice of you to do,” she said, leaning against the counter. “I thought my spa night and pizza was good, but you really took the cake with this ice cream.”

“Took the cake?” He asked, eyebrows furrowed as he dropped a scoop of ice cream into her bowl.

“It means you won,” she smiled, nodding at the ice cream. “Plus, it’s like you have a radar in your head and knew I was craving something sweet.”

Kirill smiled, shrugging his shoulders. “I know you.”

It was a good day– a day to be celebrated in many ways.

It was Christmas Eve and then it was both Clara and Tori’s birthday. A bittersweet day, but also one that needed much celebration in it’s own right. When she woke up this morning, Clara was still fast asleep in the bed beside her, so Tori took the chance to get up and make a phone call to her dad– hoping it wasn’t too early in the morning for him.

The first thing he’d said when she answered, was wishing her and Clara both a happy birthday. And after the polite conversation and questions about how they were doing had come and gone, Tori had asked him the most important question for the day– “how did you do it?”

“How did I do what, Tori?”

“How did you make that first birthday after mom died, so special?”

There was silence on the phone before her dad sighed. “Well, I didn’t shy away from the topic if you wanted to talk about your mom. We did a lot of talking about her and past birthdays. We kept up with those traditions, and just made sure to include mom as much as we could.”

Tori was biting her long sleeve as she stared at the Christmas tree. “I’m just nervous I’ll ruin it,” she whispered, feeling the tears burn in her eyes. “You made that birthday and every one after that so special, even when deep down I was missing mom so much. I– I want to do that for Clara, I don’t want Jess and Steven’s death to overshadow her and make her hate her birthdays every year.”

“As long as you just talk about Jess and Steven when she wants to and you validate those feelings she has, you won’t ruin it, Tori. She loves you and you’ve got a way of making everyone feel special, especially on their birthdays. Just do things you’ll think she’ll enjoy or if she asks to do something, do that too.”

It was her dad’s advice that made her feel a lot less nervous going into the day. First up on the day, she’d made Clara a special breakfast– chocolate chip pancakes complete with whipped cream and some cut up strawberries– a birthday breakfast that their mom had made Tori and Jess every year on their birthday since they could remember. And it was a tradition that Tori knew Jess had kept up with, because when Clara finally woke up and joined her out in the living room, her eyes lit up when she saw the pancakes on the kitchen island– even if the smile wasn’t there.

Tori didn’t remember much about that first birthday without her mom, part of her thinks she probably blocked it out because it was too sad to think about, but watching Clara go through it, she probably experienced the same thing. The sniffles and tears while eating her breakfast, the smile on her face but one that didn’t reach her eyes as she opened the gift Tori’s dad had gotten her. The apologizing for feeling sad and the “it’s okay,” from Tori when she had apologized.

It felt like uncharted territory, even though she’d been in it before. The only thing that had even boosted her mood just a little bit, was when the four boys from down the hall stopped by to wish them both a happy birthday, even giving her some presents.

Kirill’s was the only one that Clara was actually interested in– maybe it was because it was from him or maybe because it was the only one that wasn’t personally signed Minnesota Wild merchandise. It was a Polly Pocket set, one that Tori wasn’t sure whether or not he just saw in a store and thought that she’d like it or if it was something he knew that she wanted. At least not until before they left, Tori had asked him how he knew what to get her and he said– “we're best friends, duh. She said she liked Polly Pockets, so I just went to the store and asked someone for help.”

Once the boys left, they just hung around the apartment, watching whatever Clara wanted to watch. It wasn’t until she started to feel a little antsy that Tori had asked what was wrong. Clara looked at her, a sad look on her face as she played with her hands and said, “I want to go see mommy and daddy…if that’s okay.”

Visiting the cemetery back in her hometown wasn’t exactly what Tori had on the birthday card for today, but she remembered what her dad said about being open to whatever Clara wanted to do and agreed. They had gotten dressed and left the apartment complex, getting to the garage and getting into her car before setting out for the drive back to Saint Paul. Christmas songs were on the radio, but that was the only sound in the car on their drive, especially once they neared the cemetery where her mom, Jess and Steven were all buried in the same section, but only plots away from each other.

They’d stopped at the store, buying some flowers before reaching the cemetery and once they parked off to the side, they got out and walked through the snow, trying their best to find the headstones. They’d found her mom’s first and Tori bent down and wiped off a few extra whisps of snow before placing the red poinsettias into the flowerpot. It wasn’t the first time since her mom had died that Tori had come to the cemetery, but each time was just as emotional as the first time after the funeral.

“Aunt Tori, can I go find mommy and daddy?” Clara asked, pointing just head. “I think they’re eight up.”

“Okay, just stay in view.” Tori nodded, watching as Clara walked just ahead in front of her. She took a deep breath and sighed, staring down at her mom’s engraved name. “I know you told us that even if you weren’t here anymore that you’d always be around…but I really hope that’s true because I feel like I’m out of my league.”

“I hope you’re with Jess and Steven up there, and I hope you guys are looking down at us and show up in times we need you. Dad’s doing good, Clara’s doing as good as you can expect her to…and I think I’m doing okay,” she replied, wiping her running nose. “You and Jess would be glad to know that I finally might’ve found someone I really like, though I’m not sure if the feelings are mutual. And I think you would’ve liked him, his name’s Kirill and he plays for the Wild. Jess has met him and she liked him, so I’m sure she’s told you all about him. He’s everything you always told us we deserved and needed to find in someone, one day.”

Tori laughed, shaking her head. “And honestly, I wouldn’t be all that surprised if you somehow sent him to me.” She looked up to see that Clara was squatting down towards the ground and knew she’d found where Jess and Steven were. “I miss you a lot, mom and I wish you were here all the time, but I know you are just like you said you would be. I love you and I’ll visit again soon, hug Jess and Steven for me.”

Tori quickly wiped her face and calmed herself down before walking away from her mom’s headstone and taking the short walk up to where Clara was at, not getting to close as to not want to interrupt Clara, wanting to give her privacy. When she stood up, Tori walked over and stood next to her, draping her arm over her shoulder. “You okay, Clara?”

Clara sniffled, wiping at her face and shaking her head. “I miss them,” she sobbed. “It’s not fair.”

Tori squatted down to her level and wrapped her in her arms, hugging her as she tried not to cry herself. “I know, I know,” she whispered, cupping the back of her head before leaning back. “But you know what my mom always told your mommy and I when we were little and she got really sick?”

Clara shook her head, sniffling again as she wiped at her nose. “No.”

“She told us, that even if she wasn’t here physically where we could see her and hug her,” she said, reaching up and wiping away the tear stains on Clara’s cheeks. “That she would always be right here in our hearts,” she reached down and patted Clara’s heart. “And that she would never, ever leave there.”

“Can I talk to her there too?” Clara asked, wiping at her face again.

“Always,” Tori whispered, holding onto Clara’s arms. “I was going to wait until tonight to give you this, but I think now might be better.”

“What is it?”

Tori reached into her jacket pocket, pulling out the small red gift box and lifting the lid and the small tissue paper from over it, revealing a small silver locket. “When you were born, your daddy bought this for your mommy. It says, ‘home is where the heart is’ on the front and on the back, it’s got all three of your guys initials,” Tori smiled, showing Clara both sides before opening the locket. “And then inside, they added this picture of the three of you smiling in the hospital room. See? There you are right there in your mommy’s arms.”

Clara leaned down, looking at the locket before looking up at Tori. “I was so small.”

“You were a few hours old,” Tori smiled, pointing to the empty side. “And then right here, if you want…we can add a picture of the three of you from that family photo session we all did together, yeah?”

“Yes please,” she nodded, wiping at her nose. “Can you put it on me?”

Tori nodded, taking the locket out of the box. “I figured you were old enough to have this now, that way you’ll always have your mommy and daddy to look at when you get a little sad and I’m not there to comfort you.”

Once she put the locket around her neck, Tori let it rest against her chest and Clara reached down and held it into her palm with a small smile before looking up at Tori. “I love it Aunt Tori and I love you.”

“I love you too, kiddo,” she smiled, hugging her again, this time just a little tighter.

It was hard trying to decipher whether or not Clara’s trembling lips and body were from her crying or from the harsh cold winter air. So they said one last goodbye to Jess and Steven, Tori saying her own goodbye in her head before they made their way back to their car, staying close to each other and holding hands. When they got back into the car, Tori turned around to make sure Clara was settled before offering her a small smile.

“How about we got get some hot chocolate from the cafe your grandma Clara used to always take your mom and I to when we were kids and we’ll talk about your mom and dad?” Tori suggested, unsure of how Clara would respond.

She sniffled again, wiping at her nose. “Do they have cake pops? Daddy loved cake pops.”

“They do,” Tori laughed, nodding her head. “We’ll get a cake pop too.”

They spent hours in that cafe, ordering hot chocolates and cake pops, nursing them as Tori told stories of Jess when they were younger and answered any questions about her mom and dad that Clara had. By the time it was time for them to start driving home so they could meet Maddie at the apartment for the small dinner and cake they were going to do for Clara, Clara was smiling for the first time that entire day– genuinely smiling.

It wasn’t until they got in the car that Tori saw she had a missed call from Kirill and a voicemail. And when she listened to it first, she smiled. “Kirill called, did you want to hear what he had to say?” She asked, looking over at Clara.

“Yes please!!!” Clara nodded, sitting eagerly in her car seat.

“Hey Tori, I just realized that I forgot to do something when I swung by earlier. I know it’s Clara’s birthday, so I wanted to wish her a happy birthday again and this time, do it the way we always did growing up.” He said something in his native Russian, probably something along the lines of happy birthday and then, the part that made Tori smile, he started to sing the simple tune of happy birthday– still in his native language.

“THAT WAS SO COOL!” Clara smiled, eyes wide. “Next time I see him I’m gonna ask him to teach me russian!”

Tori laughed, putting her phone down and starting her car. The only thing Clara didn’t know was that Tori had ended the voicemail seconds before he went on to say what he did after.

“I know it’s your birthday too, so I wanted to say happy birthday and I’m very happy I met you. You’re doing a great job, Tor.” And then he said something else in russian before translating it for her. “I am the happiest man on earth because I met you, bye.”

She didn’t need Clara teasing her until she was red in the face, but also, she knew that she would never get his voice out of her head– constantly replaying the compliment on their drive home.

The day had come and gone, the sun was set and all around Minnesota, Tori was sure parents had their kids all tucked into bed. But in their small bedroom apartment, Tori, Maddie and Clara were watching ‘How the Grinch Stole Christmas’ like all the Christmas Eve’s before, snacking on some of the leftover cookies they’d made for Santa and just enjoying each other’s presence.

“Did you have a good birthday, kiddo?” Maddie asked, looking over Tori as Clara sat down on the floor, wrapped up in a blanket Maddie had gotten her that was a picture of Clara, Jess and Steven together from last Christmas.

“Yeah, one of the best,” Clara smiled, looking over her shoulder at them. “Thank you guys a lot.”

“You’re welcome, Clara,” Tori smiled, tucking her legs beneath her on the couch. “I’m glad you had a good day.”

“I feel bad though,” Clara frowned, holding the blanket around her. “It’s your birthday too, Aunt Tori and you didn’t get a cake to make a wish or anything.”

Tori smiled, shrugging her shoulders. “That’s okay, I got what I wanted and that was for you to have a good day. I know how hard those firsts can be when you lose someone important to you and all I wanted was to do for you what Grandpa did for me and your mom when we were younger. To make sure you could still have a good day, even if you were a little sad.”

Clara got up and walked over to the couch, leaning over and giving Tori a hug. “I love you Aunt Tori, you’re the best ever.”

“I love you too, Clara,” Tori replied, rubbing her back as she held onto the hug.

A knock on the door interrupted the hug and Clara jumped back, handing her blanket off to Tori. “I’ll get it!”

“What did we say about answering doors?” Tori laughed, holding the blanket in her lap.

“Yeah, Clara,” Maddie smiled, looking at Tori. “I wonder who that could be.”

Tori folded the blanket the best she could before getting up off of the couch, just as Clara opened the door. “GRANDPA!!!!!” Clara squealed, being lifted up moments after as Tori’s dad walked into the apartment, closing the door behind her.

“Dad?” Tori asked, eyes widening. “What are you doing here? I thought you were back with Grandma?”

“Oh no, she got tired of me hovering,” he laughed, shaking his head. “Her surgery went successful and she maybe lasted two days of me staying with her in her little apartment before she told me I needed to come home and be here with you guys. She’s got some good staff looking after her and I told her I’d be on the first flight out if she ever needed anything.”

Tori walked over with a smile, hugging him with one arm as he held Clara. “It’s good to have you here, we missed you.”

“I missed you guys too,” he said, kissing them each on the temple. “And happy birthday to you both. Hi Maddie.”

“Hi Mr. Holly, I’m glad you’re here,” she smiled, sitting up on the couch. “Though you’re not quite who I was expecting.”

Tori’s dad laughed. “If you’re talking about a certain Wild hockey player, he’s still hanging out in the hall. Looks a bit nervous if you ask me.”

“What?” Tori asked, looking at them as her dad put Clara down and Clara started to drag him over to where she had put her Christmas presents down.

“Oh yeah, he’s out there giving himself a pep talk, open the door if you don’t believe me,” her dad laughed, following behind Clara.

Staring at the closed door, she knew that Clara would’ve announced Kirill’s presence if he was out there. She practically adored him just as much as Tori did. But more of a point…why was he out there pacing in the hall? Tori opened the door and didn’t even need to look out into the hall, because there was Kirill, wearing a Christmas sweater and moving himself right into view of her apartment door.

“Kirill,” she said, still surprised even though she was told he was out here. “What are you doing?”

He brought his hands out from behind his back, holding an all too familiar pink bakery box from Tori’s favorite bakery down the street. “I wanted to give you this, it’s your birthday.”

She was speechless as he handed over the box to her and she lifted the lid, seeing her favorite three layered chocolate mousse cake she would always treat herself to a slice or two whenever she stopped by the bakery. On it, was white icing that was written in script that said– look up. She furrowed her eyebrows and looked up at Kirill to see him holding out a small plastic mistletoe decoration with nervous eyes. “What–”

“I know it’s probably lame,” he sighed, dropping his arm by his side. “But I didn’t know what else to do and it’s your birthday and I didn’t want to overlook that. But you’re one of my best friends out here and you’re beautiful and kind and you always make me laugh. I’ve been too nervous to tell you or do anything which is why the guys like to chirp me about you– but I do. I like you a lot, Tori. I like watching movies with you and Clara and ice skating and I’m not good with stuff like this but–”

Tori smiled, before closing the lid on the box and stepping forward, leaning up onto her toes and cupping the left side of his face with her right hand before leaning in and kissing him. She’d always been afraid of making that first move, too nervous about ruining their friendship. Even after they’d spent most of the family skate days earlier, holding hands– playful manor or not. But now, with the cake and his equally adorable rant…she knew that he had feelings for her too and nothing was going to stop her from doing what her hearts been wanting this entire time.

When she pulled away, he looked at her with wide eyes before smiling, holding up the mistletoe. “So it wasn’t cheesy? Because Ryan said it was cheesy and–”

“I loved it, it was very sweet,” she smiled, nodding her head. “Want to come in? We’re just watching a movie.”

He nodded, stuffing the plastic mistletoe into his pocket before walking into the apartment and then coming to a deadstop. She closed the door and turned around, her eyes going wide to see her dad, Clara and Maddie all standing there with smiles on their faces. “Oh…uh…”

“Really guys?” Tori sighed, feeling her cheeks grow hot.

“Took you a while huh, Kirill?” Maddie said, playfully shaking her head. “

He reached up and rubbed the back of his head. “Yeah, I just got nervous. Especially when you walked up, sir.”

“No need to be nervous, I’m a friendly guy,” her dad said, walking over and shaking his hand. “However, why don’t we go sit on the couch and talk about your intentions with my daughter, hm?”

“DAD!” Tori gasped, quickly ushering them away. “All of you go sit in the living room and I’ll cut up the cake.”

“CAKE?” Clara asked, eyes wide as she ran over and lifted the lid to the pink box. “You’ve gotta make your wish first, Aunt Tori!”

“Fine, fine, but you guys go in there and I’ll make my wish in here,” Tori said, as Maddie and her dad went back into the living room while her, Kirill and Clara were in the kitchen. Tori opened a drawer and grabbed the lighter, lighting the two candles.

“Make a wish, Aunt Tori,” Clara smiled, resting her arms on the counter and then her chin on her arms. “Even though I already know what you’re going to wish for.”

“You do?” Kirill asked, playing along.

“You do not,” Tori scoffed.

“Sure I do,” Clara smiled. “For Kirill to be your boyfriend.”

“I guess I did forget something after all,” he laughed, taking the plates from her as she grabbed a knife to cut the cake. “Is that something you want? Because–”

Tori just leaned in, kissing him again before pulling away with a smile, subtly nodding her head. “It’s a yes.”

“Okay, me too,” he nodded, blushing as he motioned towards her cake. “Make another wish.”

Tori blushed, tucking her chin into her chest as she smiled., looking around the room. She had her best friend in the entire world and her dad here, Clara was starting to look more like her old self even after the rough year that she’d been through…and the guy from down the hall she’d been crushing on for almost as long as she’s known him…had finally confirmed what her heart had been telling her all along– that he had liked her too. There wasn’t much more in the world that she could want, but maybe there was, and maybe it was just that she wanted Jess, Steven and her mom to know she was trying her best and she wanted them to be proud of her.

She closed her eyes, making the wish that she hoped all of this would stay– the happiness and the peace that her family had adapted after tragedy, her very new relationship with Kirill…there was nothing more in this world that she wanted than to see Clara’s smile and hear her laugh, or getting to feel Kirill’s hand in hers and experience the fireworks she had when they kissed. After savoring the moment, she blew out the candles and opened her eyes again.

There they were, Clara and Kirill. Clara with her big smile, the one that had the best of both Jess and Steven. And then there was Kirill, smiling just as big and looking at her with a kind of love in his eyes that made her heart patter against her chest.

“Best Christmas Eve and birthday ever.”

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idsb · 1 year

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hi i know this is so unbelievably random but i'm going to be moving to asia next year, and i want to visit australia over xmas 2024 (ik it's not that close haha but it's the closest i'll ever be). i'll probably only be there for a week max, so where would you recommend visiting. i know you've been there, and i was just wondering if you had thoughts

Hi omg yes I’d be happy to help!!! Also I’m really stoked for you bc this was the exact time of year I went for the first time and you’re going to have an incredible time!!!

If you only have a week, I’d recommend picking one of 2 itineraries, depending on what you want to see.

1) fly into Melbourne. The climate for this one will be similar to going to California in the spring. Melbourne is an amazing city (I like to describe it as ‘if NYC were in a utopia’ because that’s the vibes it has lol) there is ALWAYS something really cool and typically free going on city-wide, it’s a great walk-able city with FREE public transit, so much to do, and just the best city experience Australia has to offer in my opinion. I’d recommend spending 2ish days in Melb and then doing a road trip on what’s called The Great Ocean Road. If you’ve ever heard of the Pacific Coast Highway in the US, it’s like that but like. On every steroid there is. The entire drive, you’re along these MASSIVE ocean cliffs on one side with the most turquoise water you’ve ever seen, and one of the worlds oldest rainforests on the other, culminating in these rock formations called The Twelve Apostles that are just. Look them up, it’s insane. While it will be likely too cold to swim in this water (it’s the Arctic Ocean!), there’s lots of great camping and there’s wildlife everywhere. There was one rest stop where I got out of the car and 2 birds that were every color of the rainbow landed on my head; there’s a campsite I stopped at where instead of waking up to birds chirping, you woke up to the sound of koalas. There’s a wildlife reserve where I played with dingos and just got to hang out and pet them while they sat on my lap. There’s a golf course frequented by kangaroos where you can rent golf carts just to drive around and look at them. One morning a baby kangaroo was playing 2 feet from my tent. You can zip line through the rainforest and the food at every random cafe I stopped at is some of the best food I’ve ever had. Then on your way back along the inland route there’s Grampians National Park, which just has AMAZING rock formations, great hikes, the coolest views ever. If you just drove the whole thing and didn’t stop it’d be about 8 hours; I did it in 5 days and they were hands down the best 5 days of my life.

2) For a more tropical experience, you’ll want to fly into Brisbane. While I don’t love it as much as Melbourne, it’s a VERY cool city and the best and most iconic thing about it is the MASSIVE city pool right along the river that winds through the city. The way they decorate for Christmas is also really really fun. The best thing about Brisbane is all the stuff surrounding it: Gold Coast to the south has really amazing beaches and Miami kind of vibes, and Sunshine Coast to the north is one of my favorite places in Australia (fun fact I actually almost went to college there). Sunshine Coast is where Steve Irwin’s zoo is and where everyone takes photos holding koalas, altho it’s a bit overpriced for the name recognition compared to the places WAY far north you can go if you have time - it is fun and a great experience! In the Sunny Coast also are the Glass House Mountains, which are these massive pointed towering stones that jut out of the tropical farmland from nowhere. It’s really cool and really beautiful. You’ll find TONS of fresh fruit stands in this area, and driving through it at night is just incredible. A bit north of this is Noosa National Park, which is home to really iconic subtropical beaches, super cute but like, kinda out there beach towns, such amazing warm water to swim in, and a really good amount of hiking - it’s the gateway to Great Sandy National Park, which is home to some of the most beautiful white sand I’ve ever seen, where you can feed wild dolphins every morning and kayak around them in some of the bluest water you’ve ever seen. You can drive north for as long as you have time, and it just keeps getting more tropical and more beautiful the farther up you go.

To be honest I would not bother fucking with Sydney which probably seems like a crazy thing to say but here’s my reasoning. There’s only 2 things to do there that feel extremely like you’re in Australia and not any other major US location, and that’s the Sydney Opera house and Bondi Beach, both of which imo are SUPER touristy and not extremely memorable outside of like “did the thing took a picture here, see I went to Australia”. There are touristy bits about the places I recommended too, but they lean more towards Australian tourists as opposed to world tourists who just turn it into a people zoo. Yes there is hiking and nice beaches a couple hours outside the city, but there’s more remarkable hiking and more remarkable beaches other places. It’s like yeah you COULD spend a day in NYC and spend it at time square because that’s The Thing To Do, or you could just. Go to the cool and really memorable parts and have better experiences.

I hope this all helps and Aussie mutuals please feel free to corroborate this hehe I feel like it’s accurate

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m39 · 1 year

Text

Doom WADs’ Roulette (2005): Konga Songa

You know what? It’s time to appease Slaanesh.

Time to review something seedy.

...

Kind of...

Sort of...

Not really.

G5: Kama Sutra (Hurr Durr)

Main author(s): Adolf Vojta (Gusta) and Jakub Razák (Method)

Release date: March 9th, 2005 (database upload)

Version played: ???

Required port compatibility: Vanilla

Levels: 32 (standard 30 + 2)

Okay, let’s get this out of the way first. Kama Sutra is not some Rule 34 WAD that will make twelve-year-olds giggle like Japanese schoolgirls every second map (that honor goes to HDoom). It’s actually a spiritual successor to Hell Revealed... which means you might spend days trying to finish it after taking a couple of breaks if you are not some Doom-speedrunning masochists that the authors of this WAD are.

It is also one of the first WADs that not only earned one of the main awards but also one of the bonus ones. In this WAD’s case, it was Mockaward for the funniest WAD of the year.

Did it deserve the reward, though? Like any of these two? Well, let’s find out.

For a vanilla-compatible WAD, Karma Suta looks great. While there are some duds that are basically Hell Revealed-like maps but different, there are maps that might make you drop a jaw on the floor. And just like Suspended in Dusk, some of the better-looking maps have amazing details; not as close to the stuff from the previous WAD but having more soul than there due to the bigger variety of biomes.

The music wasn’t annoying to listen to. In fact, some of the tracks were absolute bangers. This soundtrack includes stuff like a scuffed version of Smooth Criminal, a shit ton of music tracks from Duke Nukem 3D and Rise of the Triad, and even a MIDIfied version of Stairway to Heaven (which is the best track; and it comes from someone who either didn’t listen to the original version or can’t remember when he did that).

When it comes to understanding how the levels play, Karmic Suit isn’t hard. Sure, some of the levels are kind of mangled, and backtracking in some of these is really obnoxious but I don’t think there was anything particularly awful.

Oh, and also, most of the time, you end up levels by going through the same-looking teleporter.

Most of the levels tend to have something that makes them stand out from the others. I’ll try to explain some of these:

The Hidden Engine has an interesting mechanic in that you don’t use the keys you got. The passage that leads to the exit opens up just by grabbing the keys themselves (since the name of the map).

Time Is Tickin' Out makes itself look like time is passing by with each grabbed key; it even gets darker with the last key. It’s like the time was passing differently in the dimension (probably) you grab the keys.

Execution starts out with you on an electric chair, referencing Death Row from Duke Nukem 3D.

Miss Sporty is kind of hilarious since you are basically wrecking demons’ arses on a sports stadium. The concept of Doomguy ruining demons’ day when they all want to have fun kind of makes me chuckle.

Cyber Machine starts out with you trying to run to the nearby teleporter and you have to slowly get there with platforms that slowly go down (you will end up soft-locked if you aren’t fast enough) while defending yourself from Cacos. A funny moment that I wish the middle part of this map was (I’ll get to that later).

The Train Is Approaching is a homage to Alien Vendetta’s Clandestine Complex, down to the similar style and music track used in both maps. It is also a complete migraine maker since even if you know where to go, you will still end up going through the long, mangled paths, even when the next objective is right next to you.

Traps, if you didn’t get it from the title already, has shitty traps that are basically a fuck you kind. Sure these traps are just barrels and not some firing squad of Hoovies but it was still filth to experience. Also, there is another fun moment when you lower the blue key from the hanging cage.

Cow Face, asides from accidentally looking similar to the cow’s head, gives me Plutonia’s Hunted vibes. Not really with Arch-viles in the labyrinth but with the yellow and red keys having their respectful switches on the other side where there are supposed to be.

Stairway to Heaven is like a min-golf course; with almost each section dedicated to one of the weapons of your arsenal. it is also my favorite map of Konga Silly.

And speaking of silly, we have reached a moment that gave Kombat Slaughter Mockaward: MAP30 - <|> AKA Pica as I like to call it.

What’s up with this map, you may ask? Well, you have to choose between kids and adults routes. Choosing adults will send you to the arena... with a naked woman spreading her legs and flashing you with her pussy...

You facepalm. You are filled with cringe.

...that functions as Icon of Sin... and you have to shove rockets up her glory hole... while being bombarded by up to eight siege cows...

...

You have now officially lost a plot.

You bash your head on your desk.

Okay, look, I get it! Czech people have a different sense of humor, and it was made in 2005, the time that such a thing was much more acceptable and probably hilarious... but seriously?! That’s the reason why this WAD was rewarded as the funniest WAD of the year?! Another shitty Icon of Sin boss with Cyberdemon-made firing squadron that just so happens that looks like Vagineer’s face and has a Cancan dance music... THAT COMES FROM ONE OF THE LEMMINGS GAMES?!?!

You bash your head on your desk several additional times.

You know... I could... I could partially understand Khrono Sumo getting Mockaward due to more levels having funny concepts than just MAP30, like Miss Sporty or Stairway to Heaven to some degree. But the fact that I didn’t see anything funny mentioned asides from Pica in Cacowards 2005, makes me question the Doom community’s sense of humor back in that year, along with how low it was. It’s ridiculous.

And by the way, you wanna know what the kids route is? You simply wait for an exit to lower while dodging up to eight Cyberdemons attacking you. It still reeks of bullshit but I would rather play this than suffer through another Icon of Sin ending.

And no, I ain’t gonna show you the adult route, because 1. I have no pictures of it, 2. Even if I had pictures of it, Tumblr would probably shadowban me for posting it, and 3. I’m not playing this route because I’m not into completely naked bodies, real-file, or fiction. Look at this map somewhere else.

At this point, you should realize that Kurkuma Salad is really hard. I can’t explain exactly the difficulty of this MegaWAD, so I’d like to kind of repeat myself from the beginning of this review: if you are a masochist that beats WADs like that for breakfast every day (and is probably to speedrunning too) then you will be in a viscera-filled heaven. But if you are closer to someone like me who’s not exactly into a few hundred monsters on the screen/area, you will probably finish this WAD once, and not touch it for a very long time, if at all.

Let’s come back for a moment to Cyber Machine. I briefly mention its middle part not being good, and that’s because you are forced to fight in a tight area with four cows while their alcoves open up and close down one at a time; not to mention pressing switches in these alcoves after dealing with them (in a specific order I might add). Playing this map normally is a chore. Playing it while also Pistol-starting is a nightmare since you have to deal with Cyberdemons with nothing but the Super-Shotgun. You might as well jump on a teleporter in the middle of that area (if your source port allows that).

At least I can say that the last area is somewhat fun if you don’t play it on UV.

Then there is Hard Target. A shit-ton of enemies for the sake of a map with a shit-ton of enemies, around half of the map having damaging floors, pop-up Cyberdemons. being surrounded by three of these at the starting area where they will keep bombarding you unless you know where the telefragging teleporters are (at least two of these, third Cyberdemon will die in the mosh pit of demons behind him), the flood of tomatoes and meatballs after dealing with one of the switches that lead to the exit or something like that; these are just a few things that I remember about this hellhole. And the fact that this map ends up sandwiched between Stairway to Heaven and I’m just a DOOM Addict (which is a pretty cool map) doesn’t help.

My advice to you asides from not playing on UV on your first playthrough: Ignore stuff in the center and focus on switch areas.

Asides from a few graphical glitches that I encountered, and some of the music tracks being slowed down (for unknown reasons) and/or not looping properly, there weren’t any bugs around this WAD. There is still stuff written in Doomworld and in the text file though.

Also, even though this WAD is vanilla-compatible, it’s still better to use a limit-removing source port since most of these maps are too big/have too much stuff in them to be saved. Here’s Adolf Vojta’s answer to that problem:

Who use savegames nowadays anyway?

Not you apparently, at least in 2005 when you were a speedrunner, therefore a masochist (probably).

Hindu Book of Monkey Fun is a better Hell Revealed sequel than HRII. At least it looks better than that WAD, and it gave me more fun and had more maps that were more than just shove as many enemies as possible mentality.

Unfortunately, after playing this MegaWAD twice, I think I’m’ experiencing burnout at this point. Not to even mention the personal stuff I have to deal with. So to not make myself completely go apeshit, I’ll take an indefinite hiatus from reviewing.

I know there are some WADs that were spoiler tagged by Dean of Doom, a new official add-on to the Unity port, and then there is My House.WAD that’s getting insanely popular. Need to try all of this before coming back.

I’ll see you all... in June in the best-case scenario.

Bye.

#doom #Doom WAD #review #doom mod #Doom 2 #doom 2005 #2005 #kama sutra WAD #doom kama sutra #Doom WADs’ Roulette #cacowards #Mockaward

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thosedaysthatwill · 2 years

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Rules: share seven wip lines/parts.

Thanks @caixxa for the tag!

i haven't been working on these lately, but I should be. They're fun.

"Give me your wallet and you won't get hurt."

Kimmo did all he could not to laugh. He didn't know who was behind him, but he heard the shake in his voice, he was clearly a junkie, and desperate. That's the only thing that could have brought him to point a gun at a man wearing an expensive suit and walking down a dark alley in the middle of the night.

I am trying SO hard to finish this thing. 5k words and still going!

2. Mikko doesn't want to cover the tattoo, he has to.

The tattoo is on his chest, and sometimes even with a shirt and suit jacket on, it feels like the tattoo is completely visible to everyone, that his secret is on a flag waving above his head. So he's made the decision to pick a shop that has the reputation of doing anything asked without question, and he's going to have the tattoo covered. He needs to make a completely clean break, especially after his last slip up, and this is how he's going to do it.

I don't even remember writing this.

3. From a young age, Mason learned he had to forge his own course.

His father played in a way to make enemies of everyone around him, but that was normal to Young Mason. He thought, for a while, that's how hockey is supposed to be played, because his father was never apologetic about all the people he hurt. Of course sometimes the league would force him to make a mea culpa statement, but he made sure Young Mason knew that he was doing it to get his suspension reduced. That was the <i>only</i> reason to apologize, he told him, because if they couldn't take a hit, that was their fault. He always told him it wasn't his fault they didn't like him, it was theirs for not taking a good hit. There was a time that Mason believed that.

I don't know if I'll ever finish this one, considering.

4. Twelve is much too young, even in Denmark.

But Nikolaj had been following around his oldest brother since he could walk, and he's discovered that everything that ten-years-older Peter did was fascinating and Nikolaj couldn't stop asking questions. Sometimes Peter answered them, sometimes he didn't. When he was rebuffed, Nikolaj learned how to stay very quiet and small and listen. It wasn't difficult to find places to hide, he'd been promised he'd hit a growth spurt someday, but that day hadn't come yet. He'd listen and learn, whether it was allowed or not. And most of the time it was <i>not</i>.

Eventually I will get to this one. It goes with Hannah's tattoo fic.

5. "We're not asking him."

"We don't have a choice."

"There has to be some other way."

"Come up with one, then."

".... I can't."

"So we're asking him."

"We're not asking him."

This one would be fun to do. Eventually. It's completely based on the fact Mason's eyes glow in the dark.

6. Something Sebastian said had stuck with him and he couldn't shake it. He had never killed with his bare hands. He was right about that. But rather than be shamed by the comment, like he knew he was supposed to be, it got him thinking.

This is old, I really should go back to this, it's Mafia Miro's story and it would go in a direction no one (except Hannah) would expect.

7. About six months after they got back from Denmark, Jesse decided he wanted to get out.

He knew that it wasn't actually possible, but he wanted to do it anyway. He wouldn't have been the first of them that tried to do something that wasn't possible to do.

That is literally all there is to this fic.

I have a TON of notes that aren't even fics yet (like the Romanov AU that needs to be written). But these are the most recent seven that are actually fics. This was fun! Thanks for asking!

#hockey rpf #my writing

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birlwrites · 2 years

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Isn't that hero corruption post just James Potter finding out what will happen to Sirius Black after his death and then making it the magic world's problem?

not to play devil's advocate but you have given me a fun shiny new thought experiment and I AM GOING TO EXPERIMENT IT so please don't take this as me shooting you down or anything like that, i just like exploring possibilities. also this is all my opinion and literally everyone's opinions are heavily influenced if not completely driven by their personal taste, so do not assume i think i am spouting facts here, i'm thought experimenting

(in general like - THESE ARE INTERESTING QUESTIONS TO ME THAT I WANT TO THINK THROUGH IN DETAIL, AND I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO BE SURPRISED OR HURT BY THE IDEA THAT I MIGHT NOT TOTALLY AGREE WITH THEM. that applies to literally every ask i answer. me disagreeing with an ask does *not* mean that i think it sucks or anything like that. in an ideal world we're having a literary discussion where nobody is or thinks they are the Official Truth-Sayer™)

ok so the interesting thing to me is: the hero corruption post requires, essentially, something that's going to push said hero down a loooong path. like, if we're getting to the point where the villain thinks 'oh that's fucked up,' no matter who you think the villain is, that means james has to get PRETTY FUCKIN CORRUPTED because there are a lot of villain or potential villain characters in hp that are like. i mean voldemort's fully pushing for genocide and bellatrix tortures people for fun and dumbledore is......... dumbledore (insert long paragraph rambling about different interpretations of him here)

so let's break down what happens to sirius after james's death in canon:

sirius finds lily and james' bodies (and perhaps voldemort's as well? does he leave a body the first time around? hmmmmm much to think about)

lends his flying motorbike to hagrid to get harry out of there (does he know where? does sirius know that hagrid is taking harry to dumbledore, and does sirius maybe expect not to come out of this conflict with peter unscathed? fascinating questions outside the scope of this post)

chases down peter

peter blows up a dozen or so muggles, frames sirius for lily and james' deaths, and vanishes

sirius gets arrested

sirius is thrown in azkaban without a trial

twelve years pass. sirius escapes azkaban, goes to kill peter yay!

dumbledore deigns to lift a finger to prevent him from receiving the dementor's kiss

sirius goes into hiding

sirius remains in hiding

sirius continues to remain in hiding

(without custody of his godson, btw. nor did he get to kill peter, who FUCKING ESCAPED AND RAISED VOLDEMORT A G A I N)

sirius dies attempting to protect harry, who was lured into a trap by voldemort using sirius as bait

okay let's pause and reflect on how absolutely fucking tragic that is. like, my head generally lives in the marauders' era, and since i almost exclusively write AU or canon divergence, i don't actually think a lot about sirius's canon fate. it's not even azkaban i'm referring to so much as everything after

sirius goes through SO MUCH, first of all to avenge lily and james (and he fails - peter gets away and resurrects the very person responsible for their murders), and second of all to protect harry (and he fails - dumbledore locks him away in grimmauld place and keeps harry with the dursleys, and then the newly resurrected voldemort immediately sets about trying to murder harry. iirc, sirius dies before dumbledore even shows up at the ministry, and also before voldemort like... okay to be totally honest i've read so many fanfiction versions of this scene that i don't remember what's canon and what's not, but i'm quite sure voldemort harms harry in some way. like that seems plausible yes?)

basically he goes through a ton of shit and it is all for nothing. yes, eventually harry does manage to kill voldemort/get voldemort killed, and live a fairly peaceful and safe life afterwards, but he literally died to do it. sirius could not protect him from that, much less care for him in the way that lily and james wanted him to

okay anyway back to the thought experiment. so, if james found out about all that, what would happen?

i think, anon, that the point on which we differ is that i don't see this as a slippery slope in the way that i think you do - imo, almost everything bad that happens to sirius after james's death is a direct result of the actions of voldemort, dumbledore, or peter

like yes, sirius did go to azkaban without a trial, but is that enough for a corruption arc for james? i would think that would be an anti-corruption arc involving pushing the ministry towards transparency, and tbqh i think james would be so preoccupied with peter's betrayal that the 'no trial' thing would be a contributing factor as opposed to its own thing

if i continue to guess what you were thinking of (and do let me know if i'm guessing wrong), my assumption is that you mean that in a quest to preemptively avenge sirius, james would want to go after those 3 people i mentioned earlier (voldemort, dumbledore, peter), and *that* would induce a corruption arc

that, i think, depends a lot on the characterization of james, AND the people around him. he has friends he trusts and values a lot (rip), all of whom could either be encouraging him or pulling him back

i think something really drastic would have to happen in order for james to not take those voices into account, and i don't think it would work if it were framed in future terms, because a 'this will happen' isn't as powerful of a motive towards anger as a 'this happened' or a 'this is happening right now'

now, if voldemort came to the potters' house on a different night, perhaps a night on which james was out for some reason (fidelius notwithstanding), and killed sirius instead? (among potential others - remus and lily come to mind as options who could also die) *then* i think james would shred peter, and then voldemort, into tiny little itty bitty bits

but not dumbledore, because dumbledore's role in this whole mess comes about ~12 years later

if james somehow saw the future, again, i think his reaction to that really depends on your james characterization - personally i don't really interpret james as a 'tear it all down and start over' person, seeing as he's fighting for the side of the status quo in canon, but i could see how someone could take that angle with something more focused on the 'no trial, life sentence' thing

ig a better way to frame that is that since i tend to interpret james as being constructive rather than destructive in his use of violence ('constructive' as in working off of what exists, 'destructive' as in aiming to tear that down for a blank slate), i think it would take a lot for him to go on any sort of corruption arc - regardless of his *actions*, like, a corruption arc is really a state of mind and i think that's what would require something drastic for james

but in general i don't think revenge arcs make for very good corruption arcs because once you get your revenge........ then what

like, i think a corruption arc needs a more general motive, more along the lines of why voldemort and dumbledore do what they do. that's not super tied to any one person, which means it doesn't carry that risk of *ending*. like, principles that are taken to an extreme - i'm a big fan of that. and i think a corruption arc works best in conjunction with ambition - specifically a 'road to hell is paved with good intentions' type of ambition, and since i don't interpret james as a particularly ambitious character, i think sending him down that path would take a lot more than, say, sending lily down that path would

but that's me. just because revenge-driven corruption arcs are less interesting to *me* doesn't mean they don't hold merit or interest for other people, and just because i interpret james in this way doesn't mean everyone does

#if anyone has more thoughts by all means jump in!!#this is the same energy as me putting discussion questions in the author's notes afjskghkjsf #hp #like genuinely if you disagree explain why i'd love to know!!#should i make an inbox tag

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mermaidsirennikita · 2 years

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Have you read all of Elisa Braden’s Rescued from Ruin series? Would love to get your thoughts on it - favorite heroes, favorite heroines, best and worst books… I’ve started the first one thanks to your rec (loving it!) and was wondering what your take on the rest of the series is.

Thanks for reaching out! I have not read the entire series. I think I have two books left. I'll definitely finish it, but Elisa has somewhat pretty limited backlist and I want to avoid exhausting it too fast as she seems to be slowing down releases (skipped a main novel release this year).

Here are my overall thoughts thus far! I think it's a really fun series, and overall it's quite good. She's naturally funny, the books are hot, and they're compulsively readable when they're at their best. She writes really good angsty heroes, and she's definitely a writer for heroes (not an insult, many het romance novelists are). Her heroines can trip the books up for me sometimes. I resent the fact that there are as many books in this series as there are and the series is published as recently as it is... with soooo many virgin heroines. Like, with that many books, I do think at least an even split between virgins and non-virgins would be owed. She writes good sex scenes, but this does add an element of repetitiveness to the sex, the sexual tension, etc. Like, my one complaint about the series is that sometimes it can lean a bit vanilla, not just in terms of sex but in terms of conflict. It's very *comforting*, but she's super talented and could go further, imo. Her best books include heroes who are a bit colder, I think she could take it up a notch by having heroines who are littttttle less tolerant of that, just to change it up. I find a lot of them to be really understanding lmao.

But anyway from what I've read, I'd rank them thus:

When A Girl Loves an Earl. This one would also have my favorite heroine and hero from the series, actually! I love it, a top read for me this year. I just love that Viola is fully insane and just hurtles herself at this man because he's big and picked up another guy by the throat to defend a lady's honor. Same, very relatable. James is a great, classically "Scottish lord raised in England" type hero, and the switching between accents (plus Viola not realizing he was Scottish until he did, lmao) was excellent. And I'll never complain about somewhat rough sex in a historical.

The Truth About Cads and Dukes. Another really good one. I loved the fat rep in this, mostly because while the heroine is insecure about her looks, it's not overdone and the hero is fucking crazy about her body. Like, his physical attraction to her is just STRESSFUL for him, and I adore a cold hero who gets distressed about his boner (the book above has a similar aspect to the hero). I also love an efficient hero, and Harrison like... efficiently killing a dueling opponent.... hot. Has my favorite love confession in the series--just breaks down mid-thrust while bending over over his desk.

Ever Yours, Annabelle. I love a "we were childhood sweethearts but shit got messy and now we don't know each other" setup and this one does it really well. I do enjoy the way he basically traps her as well. That's super fun. Really good balance of angst and humor.

The Madness of Viscount Atherbourne. I just think it was hilarious that this started with a girl having a nipple orgasm on a terrace and the hero going "a-HA my NEFARIOUS PLAN is in MOTION". Very solid, even if the reveal was kind of like... a little too obvious lol.

Twelve Nights As His Mistress. Points for a widowed heroine!! This is a Christmas novella so there's not a ton of plot here, but I really liked the emotional development, the ages of the hero and heroine, the way this was the culmination of a two-year wonky courtship... Also, suggestions that he felt her up a lot during that courtship? Added to the sexual tension that was just brimming between them and popped off (lmao) so well. Very expected last minute twist, but it's fine.

Confessions of A Dangerous Lord. I have a hard time with friends to lovers, but this one worked, even if I never fully understood the spy plot, or why he didn't tell her about it. I enjoyed everyone just being like "... okay ..." about this man's wacky ways. And a really good "what are youuuu eating for dinner" cunnilingus scene in a kitchen.

The Devil is A Marquess. So in retrospect I think I like this one a bit less than I did initially, because although the sex is very hot, I'm not sure it dealt with the hero's alcoholism in a way that felt real to me...? In general, I think addiction is very hard to do well in romance, and I just don't know if I bought the plot progression there, which made the heroine seem a bit more long-suffering. I did love the sex and the setup of the marriage and that one giant fight that led to wine cellar sex... But I didn't love the way the alcoholism was handled.

Desperately Seeking A Scoundrel. Colin lost me as soon as he was described as a skinny pretty boy with white-blond hair. Honestly, his scams were kinda fun, but the book started with him already being depressed and basically emotionally reformed (Atherbourne works a lot better because he's not reformed when the book begins). His heroine is kinda boring too.

Anything But A Gentleman. I took a pause here (not permanent) because I really disliked the heroine and the beta romance. Good hero in theory. But you're really gonna have a plot where she offers to be his mistress and just... not have them fuck... until what...? Marriage? And meanwhile her sister has a hero who's giving exoticism and it's just... not the best.

#romance novel blogging #book recs

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quinnyandco · 7 years

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I tried to put the questions in instead of just numbers but alack, too many questions, too little space. 2, 3, 8, 13, 14, 15, 19. And -- *copycatting*-- FOR ALL

THANKS THIS IS GONNA TAKE TWELVE YEARS

2. Say your OC made a playlist on Spotify. What bands would be on that playlist? Any specific genres?

Berlin - He’s this weird mix between folksy stuff like Fleet Foxes and indie rock like Bastille. Lark - She would be blasting the Maroon 5 and Halsey through her car speakers, but also listening to stupid stuff like Bad Lip Reading songs on the down-low. Kes - 10 hours of Latin prayer chants, and her side playlist of random Florence + The Machine/Lana Del Rey/Daughter stuff that she listens to on private mode.Arthur - half his playlists have like one song in them, and it’s always something that you’d never actually figure that he’d listen to, and you’d be right because he hasn’t clicked on that playlist in 4 months. he makes his own music more than he listens to it. the playlists he does regularly use are for parties. lark also made him a playlist that he keeps meaning to listen to but somehow every time he clicks play, he never hears anything and then it’s over. Amber - doesn’t know what a spotify is, doesn’t care, has better things to do |Sitara - like, I WANT to listen to her playlist. because she’s one of those people who loves music but gets tired of it quickly, so she’s always finding new stuff and her playlists are a total mess. Every genre. It doesn’t matter what it is, she can find an occasion for it. Edward - a playlist containing nothing but “Be a Man” from Mulan on loop3. What kind of video games would they play? Any specific titles?Berlin - Lol okay, he was MADE for first-person shooters. But is he actually playing them? No. He’s playing those cute little flash games with bunnies hopping onto logs or something. Lark - Overwatch, because of the team-building element. She’ll usually only play video games in general if she’s with other people, except for the Sims which she’ll play alone if she needs character inspiration.Kes - Is somehow ridiculously good at the first-person shooters. This freaks her out. And she still doesn’t *get* the Sims but she plays it sometimes anyway because it’s fun to pretend to have a happy familyArthur - he will be HORRIBLE at anything he tries, unless he hyperfocuses on it, and then suddenly he is champion at everything and people refuse to play with him anymore. Amber - she’s really good at portal and she doesn’t even try to be. it just kind of happens. also she finds surgeon simulator to be horrendously inaccurate and she refuses to play it. Sitara - why on earth would you kill people in a video game when you could do it in real lifeEdward - DITTO. but he’s like, super good at tetris and doesn’t tell anyone.

bonus: Nick plays Crossyroad. Don’t ask. he just does.

8. How does your OC keep track of time? Do they have a planner? A calendar?

Berlin - He has a lot of people barking instructions at him, so he never really has the chance to forget what he’s doing or when he’s supposed to do it. But he’s naturally really organized so he’d probably have a planner otherwise. Lark - She’s usually on time because she hates to be late to the action or disappoint anyone counting on her. But sometimes she gets distracted by like, people on the street during her commute. Kes - time is a human construct, who needs it? the goddess will tell us when to leave and when to arrive. the moon spirits speak her truth into the ears of those who will listen Arthur - has owned approximately 500 planners in his life. it doesn’t matter how much he writes in them. he forgets they exist and is late anyway. Amber - has owned approximately 0 planners in her life. she is a perfect piece of ENTJ timekeeping. she doesn’t need a watch, or the sun, or you, probably. Sitara - has neatly plotted out her day, or hired someone to do it for her. Usually on time, but if she’s not, it’s because she decided it wasn’t worth her time to be there in the first place. Edward - is honestly more of a diva than sitara most of the time. he shows up if he wants to show up. you can’t tell him where to be.

13. If you are an artist, and if your OC can draw as well, could you replicate what their artstyle looks like? Or, if you can’t, could you describe it?

Berlin - once he smeared some blood on a rock and called it art Lark - doodles on the margins of reports and discarded typewriter pages. Is better than she thinks she is but’ll never do anything with it. Kes - paints and writes all over the walls of her shed. No specific style; she’ll try anything you’ll teach her. Arthur - Cannot draw, doesn’t try Amber - wouldn’t actually be bad at it if she’d just sit down and learn for like five minutes Sitara - Has developed her skill over the years and is probably the only character I have who could actually paint your portrait and would gladly do it. Edward - what is paint. it has the word pain on it. is it like that

14. If your OC owned a Tumblr blog, what kind of content would they post?

Berlin - I actually have a private blog for Berlin and it is entirely pictures of snakes, jackets, bunnies, and depressing quotes. Lark - She has two blogs–one for her professional stuff, and the other for maximum memeing and opinion pieces. Sometimes she mixes them up and her professional people get a horrible wake-up call as to her sense of humor. Kes - Meditations, uses it as her personal journal, a little bit of a SJW when she’s tired. accidently follows a NSFW blog because she thought they just wanted to be her friend and she didn’t look at the content first. Arthur - if there was ever a theme, it died long ago. also he might still be confusing facebook with tumblr because the colors are too similar. forgot his password. Amber - queen of throwing shade to people. has 2000 followers and she doesn’t know why because she didn’t ask them to be there. why are 2000 people following a blog about sutures. surely they have lives. leaves arthur to answer her hate mail, and answers serious asks from medical students if she feels generous. Sitara - KITTY PIX Edward - I tried to ask him what he’d have on his blog and he just looked at me really scarily and i stopped asking.

15. How do they type? Do they use emojis? Do abbreviate and shorten words?

Berlin - if he likes you, he doesn’t care. you’re getting whatever he’s dishing out at that particular moment (this includes random bouts of existentiality that you never asked for). Lark - Always has the perfect word for every situation. Understands emojis and internet speak the day it emerges on Tumblr. probably started the “me, an intellectual” meme. gif queen. Kes - doesn’t know why you’d type when you could just….talk to people?Arthur - Autocorrect is NOT his friend. But he never corrects autocorrect because by the time he realizes his mistake he’s already forwarded it to you and your boss and your aunt. He and Lark have gif wars.Sitara - Doesn’t even have a phone because someone would probably find a way to hack it and she is NOT being taken out by a camera phone scandal. Amber - Only answers texts at 2 AM. Perfect grammar. Has never used an emoji in her life. Deletes them if they automatically show up. Edward - you texted him once, and he replied telling you exactly where you could stick your texting. you were never brave enough to contact him again.

19. Does your OC like to collect things? What kind of things do they collect?

Berlin - he picks up rocks sometimes, and then puts them back because they might be some convict’s soul and he’s not in the mood to cart around convict souls in his pockets.Lark - she has an entire drawer full of feathers. she picks them up off the sidewalk every time she sees one while she’s out walking. she also has a pen collection and a playbill collection from all the shows she’s been to. she draws mustaches on the ones she didn’t like. Kes - hordes books. also doesn’t really have any books. but if she had money and a house she’d have a lot of books.Arthur - he’s got a touch of kleptomania about him so he’s inadvertently stolen every pen that anyone has ever given him. I guess that counts. (Some of them are from Lark’s collection, and if she’s noticed, she hasn’t asked for them back)Amber - does not see the point of useless junk hanging around. just clean up your life. Sitara - she has a collection of pawprints (ink pressed onto paper) from every cat she has ever owned/cared for. they’re in a little drawer in her room and she looks through them whenever she misses them. Edward - do scars count because he has a lot of those and they don’t seem to be stopping.

If you’re not too mad at me for clogging up your feed, send me an OC ask here!

#my story world doesn't contain emojis or tumblr or video games or spotify #but I answered as if it does #this did in fact take twelve years but it was a ton of fun #thank you!!#loricori #asks

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jurakan · 2 years

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Oh! It’s fun fact fuhridayyyy!!!!

YES IT IS

Today You Learned about Saint Brendan the Navigator.

[I just finished Brendan by Frederick Buechner today so it's on my mind.]

Saint Brendan was considered one of the 12 Apostles of Ireland--that is, twelve Irish missionaries who helped spread Christianity throughout the British Isles. As with many Celtic saints, there are a ton of crazy stories about him and his adventures. Notably, there is the story of his voyages, which became very popular in the medieval period.

See, a common motif in Irish mythology and tradition was the idea of people going on a journey across the sea, into the west, to reach Tir na nOg, the Isle of the Blessed from Irish myth--which got sort of adapted into Heaven or an Earthly paradise in Christian folklore. [You'll probably recognize this as similar to the Plot of Voyage of the Dawn Treader, which is ABSOLUTELY intentional.] Saint Brendan's the most famous, probably. According to legend he saw CRAZY stuff, like that one island they landed on and set up a fire to celebrate Mass only to find out it was a large sea creature. Also there's an island with Judas on it, where he takes a break on holy days when he's not being tormented in Hell?

Also famously, the land he is said to have discovered, Saint Brendan's Isle, was on maps throughout the medieval period.

The Faroe Islands totally that they're the famous Isle, if this stamp is anything to go by:

Now here's the weird thing: a lot of people think that Brendan got so far west that he reached the Americas, making him the first one to discover North America, centuries before the Norse did. Now personally, I find this assertion kind of iffy--it's not THE most ridiculous 'These guys discovered America!' conspiracy theory, but I find I am far from buying into it. Ask me about those other ones on another Friday.

Now, explorer Tim Severin (who made a career out of this sort of thing) proved that it was, technically speaking, POSSIBLE for someone to make this voyage with the technology at the time, which doesn't mean that it happened. And then you have people writing at least a couple of children's books claiming it as established fact that Brendan totes mcgotes discovered America.

Brendan also has a subplot in Assassin's Creed: Valhalla, in which he apparently traveled to all the Stone Circles in England, and in-game apparently really DID discover America (and wrote on a Stone Circle there too), with references to "Vinland" also being called "Saint Brendan's Isle". Although in the game, Vinland is discovered a hundred years too early.

Anyhow now you know!

#Saint Brendan #saints #Ireland #Today You Learned #Fun Fact Friday #history

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tobiosmilktea · 4 years

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umpah umpah! smau

↪︎ bokuto x f!reader x iwaizumi

[033] — epilogue!

masterlist | prev. | next

a/n: this is definitely not my best writing cause my brain was going brr the entire time i was writing this, but i honestly can’t believed i have finished yet another smau! 🥳 ✨if i’m being completely honest this smau took a complete turn to what i was initially planning,, but it ended up not being that bad. i certainly feel like this smau would’ve been a lot better if i didn’t have school preoccupying me 24/7, but i’m still really proud of this. thank you guys for reading and dealing with this messy, messy smau!! ☺️

a year flew by faster than you had hoped. Two weeks turned into a month, a month turned into six, and six months turned into a year. A lot of things can happen within a year. Hell, a shit ton of things can happen within six months, yet here you were, all glammed up in your best dress at the move premiere of love cemetery.

you hadn’t felt this nervous in ages. the quickening of your pulse, the rapidly beating heart, to your pals that perspired as the seconds ticked on by. akaashi stood by you this whole time as your gaze keeps looking over to the guest list as if it were to magically change if you were too look away for one second. akaashi had been by your side, your moral support and the absolute backbone of your sanity the moment you and the team landed in los angeles a year ago. he noticed everything about you. he was one of your best friends, how could he not notice the way you were suddenly quiet and not excited right now?

he laid a careful hand on the small of your back to comfort you, leaning over to the same list of guests you were worrying about. “are you worried about who i invited again?”

“i’m more worried they’re not coming.” you confess without a single beat missed.

“oh, they will,” he assured you confidently. there was even a rising smirk in his expression when he let go of you, “have a little bit of faith in me will you? i was the one who got you back in touch with them.”

you huff playfully, rolling your eyes as you recalled the strange feeling of isolation over six months ago when you landed in la. it was in no doubt the longest flight of your life, lasting a good fifteen hours if you counted the two hour layover in hawaii due to reckless turbulence (it was one of the scariest flights in your life too). you had read their texts then, drowning in the sudden downpour of emotions when you read their words, i love you.

it almost didn’t seem real. you swore it had to have been the fatigue playing games on you as you couldn’t sleep for the life of you on the plane. yeah, maybe that was it, you excused. you were so desperate for their messages to be a figment of your imagination, you literally tried everything—turning your phone on and off, asking sugawara for eye droplets, and even ignored it until you were back on the plane and landed in los angeles. it had to be fake, please be fake. yet, in the back of your head you knew damn well it wasn’t.

there was a plaguing thought within you, one that’s so destructive and degenerative that you hated the fact you thought this way. but it wasn’t like you could help it. insecurity was a troublesome venom that coursed through your veins everyday and there didn’t seem to be an antidote to your own self-destruction.

you loved them both, but you weren’t entirely sure if you had enough love to give for the both of them, let alone one. iwaizumi and bokuto’s feelings confused you to the core. you broke their hearts, yet how could they still love you so dearly?

you didn’t know the answer nor did you have time to even find it.

the film crew stayed in los angeles for two weeks and filmed over the course of that time period. days were filled with twelve hour shoots and a tight film schedule. being the author of the work itself, you were a major part of the production alongside the director. he trusted your vision and you’d often find yourself staying on set the entire day while kaori and the rest of the ddd team felt like they were on vacation. your only free time during that time was the ten minute holy grails in between takes that you were able to check social media.

you simply didn’t have the time to think about them. and yet they were like haunting ghosts that followed you relentlessly. every time you checked twitter or instagram, you would see every post, every tweet, every story. all of which would send your heart spiraling and tugging.

you missed them. but it wasn’t like you could do anything about it. you couldn’t possibly strike up conversation with any of them after completely ignoring their calls and texts for weeks. you had to have an odd amount of audacity to do that, and you simply didn’t have the guts to do so. if anything, the only lasting form of communication between you and the boys was the ringing notification that you liked each other’s posts.

it was quite the sad reality.

the film set then transferred to new york city, where the next two weeks would be filled with yet another plethora of twelve hour work days. fortunately for you, the rest of the ddd team were pulling a bit more of their weight, helping you on the creative side of things, yet still having the time to do all the fun touristy things whilst in the city.

you could remember the way your heart lit up seeing iwaizumi and bokuto’s names beneath who saw your story. it was a video of you and your team at the lady liberty statue. in it, kaori and yuko were chomping down on gigantic $2 street hot dogs, sugawara was yelling at semi for getting in the way of his film camera, while akaashi was complaining that the wind kept knocking down his green lady liberty hat.

it was strange thinking how fast things can change. within the first week, you were always up for an adventure in the city when the days were filled with work, but as the week progressed, your social meter decreased more and more.

loneliness hit you then. it was a peculiar type of loneliness, the type that you felt alone despite being surrounded by your closest friends and working on your dream project. you figured you were just homesick the way everyone else was getting all ready for a night out going bar hopping while you sat in the living room of your hotel room in your pajamas.

“are you sure you don’t want to come with us, (y/n)?” kaori asked you, concern washing over her slightly as you flickered her a tired look.

you shook your head, a small smile of gratitude melting upon your lips. “no, you guys go on ahead and have fun.”

your friends could only give you a look. they knew why you were being like this and they knew damn well it wasn’t homesickness. semi specifically threw you a look that’s meant to be teasing and oddly persuasive. “it’s been over a month, this can be a chance for you to finally meet someone new!” he exclaimed optimistically.

what was stopping you, anyway? it was clear nothing was, yet you still held yourself back. homesickness couldn’t possibly be to reason for it either. why are am i being like this?

“it’s okay, i’m with akaashi,” you decline once more, “he’ll keep me company.”

“alright then, join us once you feel like moving on.” says yuko with a hint of venom in her tone. you couldn’t blame her for saying that though as it was the harsh reality of it all.

your friends filed out the door, closing it in a thud and once again you felt alone. isolated as if you were in a void of your own silent thoughts that even the loud murmurs coming from the television wasn’t enough to drown out your shallow inhibitions.

the night continued on like this for a few hours. eating snacks in the dark living room with the remote in your hand, flipping channels every five minutes as your running thoughts couldn’t keep your attention span still. it felt like you were missing something, a part of yourself that you couldn’t exactly pinpoint. you thought of all of the possibilities why you felt like there was a void in your heart, yet the only thing you could properly convince yourself on was that you just missed home. but was that really all that you had missed?

you thoughts are interrupted by steps approaching you. akaashi walks into the living room, flicking on the switches and causing you to grimace at the bright lights. your eyes stung slightly as they adjusted from being in the dark for too long.

“where are you going?” you ask akaashi as you noticed his dressed up attire.

“i got done with all the paperwork and emails,” he answers while he fixes the collar of his dress shirt, “i’m deciding to have some fun tonight with the rest of the group. are you still up for it? i’ll wait for you to get ready if you want.”

the thought occurred within you that you should agree. that the possibility of this unexplainable feeling of isolation you were feeling would disappear if you were to just say yes and go. but as self-destructive as you were on yourself, you continued to hold yourself back—hesitant and always second guessing your actions.

you open your mouth slightly, but you ultimately just shook your head no.

akaashi lets out a sigh. he was genuinely hoping you would come around sooner or later. granted, it had been over a month since you guys left japan and he figured you would be over everything by now, but that obviously wasn’t the case. “you might be receiving a call soon... i suggest you should answer it.”

confusion flushed over your expression, giving him a strange look. but before you could even utter a single question to him, akaashi was already up and out the door.

he left you in a wake of curiosity for the rest of the night. it was nearing one in the morning and you still hadn’t yet received a phone call. it honestly sounded incredibly ominous that you grew a tad bit nervous. there were only so many possibilities on who would call, but it would actually infuriate you if akaashi was just joking around. but then again, akaashi isn’t the type to play something childish like that unless it was kaori or semi’s idea. regardless, the thought kept you awake as you eyes practically weighed like cinder blocks at this point.

you couldn’t believe you wait for two hours for a phone call that might not even happ—it shocked you at first, the ringing of your obnoxious ring tone and the buzzing of the vibrations on the table.

furrowing your brows as you reached over, a gasp left you the moment you read the contact name. your slapped a hand over your mouth to muffle your shock. your hand shook from the growing bundle of nerves in your gut as you hesitate.

the name ‘kou’ shined brightly against your face, coaxing you to answer as if your thumb wasn’t frozen the accept button. out of all the possibilities on who would be calling you tonight, it just had to be him. it wasn’t like you opposed talking to bokuto. if anything, you had spent countless of sleepless nights wondering if you should finally answer that text of his. yet no matter how many different messages you have typed, none of them ever saw the light of day. a hurricane of stupid conversation starters and ice breakers swarmed in your head, all messy and disorganized that if you didn’t just suck it up and answered, you would’ve probably missed a chance to reconnect with him.

fuck it, you thought as you accepted the call.

“(y/n)!” bokuto called out to you, sending your heart running thousands of miles an hour. it had been ages since you heard your name come out of his mouth, “how’ve you been? a little birdy told me you needed a little company.”

you had to hold yourself back from smiling too much as you could already feel your cheeks ache. you wanted to scoff and perhaps groan at the sudden embarrassment of what akaashi could’ve told him. “bo—” you started, but is immediately cut off.

yet another familiar voice emitted from bokuto’s line, almost as if they were shouting, “you’re supposed to say that i’m here too, idiot!”

the volleyball player chuckles, “oh sorry, iwa-chan! here.” muffles and cups clanking against each other travel through to line to what you assume is bokuto handing his phone over to iwaizumi.

“uh... hi.” his voice sounded deeper than usual.

“hi iwa, how have you been?” you chuckle, finding his sudden shyness absolutely adorable.

“good, good. i’ve uhh... missed you.”

“i do too.”

“yeah, yeah, you miss me most though right?” bokuto’s loud voice thunders through the call.

the juxtaposition of how daftly different they were was something you could never get enough of. perhaps it was at that moment you finally understood your loneliness through their bickering. you were in fact homesick, but the home that you were thinking of wasn’t what you were missing the most. you suppose the home you missed was them. they were your home.

you let out an amused laugh, “right.”

“that’s good because iwaizumi and i should be mad at you for ghosting us for the past month, but we understand since akaashi explained to us already.”

your eyes suddenly widen into saucers, panicking what he could have possibly said. “what did he tell you?”

“everything,” bo sings.

you audibly groan in embarrassment, throwing your head back onto the couch in retaliation. you were glad they couldn’t see how flushed and red your cheeks were right now as they even extended out to the tips of your ears.

“you know it would’ve been easier to say that you love the both of us and didn’t want to choose right?” iwaizumi points out in between your panic.

“exactly!” cuts in bokuto, “besides we don’t sharing you, you know. who knew you were such a prude, (y/n).” you could practically hear the smirk in his voice as you couldn’t stop the heat from spreading any further from your face.

now you were really glad they weren’t able to see you at that moment. if they did, you would’ve died from the embarrassment then and there. “give me a break, i was too embarrassed to ask,” you mutter, fearing that they could hear how fast your heart was beating through the call.

“ask what?” iwaizumi teases, “ask if you could date the both of us?”

you were internally screaming at this point. everything that you didn’t think was going to happen, happened all within five minutes and you honestly couldn’t believe it. you were pinching yourself as if you were in a dream, yet no matter how hard you squeezed, this was actually happening. “shut up!” was all you could say.

“even if you did ask... it’s not like we could ever say no to you, (y/n).” says bokuto, his words so enticing that you weren’t sure if you’re heart can handle any more of this.

his words left you absolutely speechless. you honestly didn’t know what to say at this point.

"i’m fine with it and bokuto’s fine with it.” iwaizumi says, “it’s just a matter if you’re willing.”

bokuto then leans forward towards his phone, “so what do you say, (y/n)?”

you swallowed the lump of nerves forming into your throat as the one question you never thought you would ever be asked was right in front of you. and yet you still hesitated despite everything that had just happened. you loved them both, so why weren’t you answering?

a few beats of silence passed before your gained the courage to push out the the very words, “... i’ll think about it.”

“boo! that’s lame!” bokuto shouts.

“i’ll give you guys an answer when i get back home.” you add, hoping to ease the disappointment they were probably feeling at that very moment.

“that won’t be for another few months, though.” iwaizumi deadpans that you could practically see the pout on both of their faces. “but we’ll promise to wait for you, (y/n).”

and so they waited for you to come back home, but you never did. schedules misaligned even when you were finally back home in tokyo. bokuto was getting progressively more busy now that the olympics were coming up and iwaizumi was just as busy, if not busier with the amount of athletes he had to take care of. there was even a constant flying back and forth from tokyo to los angeles for the film, all of which lasted for a few weeks at a time and you swear your couldn’t catch a break.

this went on for months with the only contact between you and the boys were from texting and phone calls that ended up shorter than you anticipated. and now a year had past since you left and this very movie premiere would be the first time you have seen iwaizumi and bokuto for the first time in a year.

this was so ironic how this all played out. you haven’t even realized you already reached the end of the red carpet when an interviewer calls out your name, microphone in hand and a camera pointed directly at your face.

“ms. (y/l/n)!” the woman shouts over the ruckus of snapping photos and other interviewers asking questions to the actors behind you. “there has been rumors going around about your dating life. are you dating msby’s bokuto koutarou or their athletic trainer iwaizumi hajime, who has been getting a lot of attention from stan twitter just recently! could you share some insight on your live life as love cemetery’s creator?”

“um,” you start, not sure how to answer the question as you nervous chuckled, “that’s a secret i’m afraid i can’t tell.”

before the woman could ask you any other questions, you walked away from the carpet and rushed towards the banquet hall. thankfully, akaashi and kaori was nearby and gratefully took your place in the interview without a second thought.

you let out a relieved sigh as much of the noise from the premiere died down as the only people inside the banquet hall were movie critics, the film crew, and other celebrities who were invited. by now, no one in this room would have the audacity to ask you such a personal question which caused weights to fall off your shoulder. you honestly should be used to those types of questions right now as a webtoon author that literally writes romance, but it always catches you off guard when you least expect it. honestly, you were just glad you didn’t slip up.

as a small little reward for yourself, you grab a flute of champagne from the refreshment table, decorated all fancy that you even hesitated to mess up the display. you turn around to face the growing crowd of mingling individuals, talking and laughing amongst each other as you sipped your drink gently. but as you watch you feel a presence on either side of you, both of which sent your heart soaring and a smile to appeared on your cherry colored lips. you didn’t even have to look them up and down to see how handsome they both looked. to think they were all yours.

“so what did you tell that interviewer?” bokuto asks nonchalantly as if he could just get away from a proper greeting. you were surprised he didn’t just engulfed you into his arms then and there.

instead, you opted to play along, “about what?” you tested with a smirk.

“the question about who you’re dating,” iwaizumi adds in from your other side.

you shrug, taking a sip of your champagne, “you guys probably wouldn’t like the answer i gave her.” you could feel the brazen stares bokuto and iwaizumi were giving each other—competitive and oddly provoking.

“she probably said she was dating me,” bokuto hums in response, confidence radiating off him that it caused you to scoff.

“i doubt it,” debates iwaizumi, giving him the same energy. “she probably said she was dating me.”

“actually,” you cut in before the two could possibly start bickering with each other, “i remember specifically saying that i’d thinking about it.”

the boys give you a look, downing their drinks as if they were like the shots they swallowed many nights ago at that bar. it was as if they were trying to win your over again like your feelings had changed since then.

“oh yeah?” bokuto starts, inching closer towards you while iwaizumi rested his arm on the table behind you.

“so what do you think, (y/n)?” says iwaizumi.

they both towered over you, just inches away from your body, but you didn’t cower or back away. if anything there was a playful smirk inevitably resting upon your lips.

now this, was going to be fun.

fun facts! —

sugawara has five rolls of film he had to get developed once they wrapped filming in osaka, each roll is from each city they went to for filming

iwaizumi and bokuto became really close friends when y/n left for la as they bonded over getting ghosted

bc of this,, bokuto posted a pic of him and iwa on his instagram and it got lots of attention that iwa went viral on stan twitter

taglist: (closed!)

@moonlightaangel @elianetsantana @k4tiepie @memorableminds @wheeshllumi @suhkusa @kitsunetea @airybby @noeminemi @truly-a-snitch @keichan @cosmicmermaid25 @bap-kingdom @saturnfarie @kwdflash @ennos-baby @dinablossom @chrisrue15 @seikamuzu @nestlevanilla @chasekudo @yammmers @pixcldust @iwaizluv @h0ngh0ngh0ng @emogrils @tiredandkindaoverworked @tsumue @underratedmage @bokutosuwus @kellesvt @unstableye @oh-tapeworm @scrappyfka @alittlebitofrain @mxngy @tpwkatsumu @atsumuwoah @macchiatoast @dicerawr @kageyamasbabygorl @some-random-stranger-007 @vhskenma @wntrmn @little-plants @stargirlara @kissungjae @je11yfishwriter @sbaepsae @apollochjld

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu scenarios #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu smau #bokuto koutarou #bokuto x reader #bokuto scenarios #bokuto imagines #bokuto smau #iwaizumi hajime #iwaizumi x reader #iwaizumi scenarios #iwaizumi imagines #iwaizumi smau

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miraculouspenta · 4 years

Text

Different Limits

Original Idea by @jinx-jade

Thanks to @moonlitceleste for beta reading :D

'What have I done,' Damian thought. Dick was lying on the floor with an arm that was clearly broken. He had surprised Damian with a hug from behind, triggering his instinct to attack. Damian had reacted by twisting his arm, resulting with Dick being on the floor. Jason entered the door when he heard Dick’s shriek of pain. "WHAT THE F*CK, DAMIAN!" he shouted when he saw Dick. His whole family had scolded him, Bruce had benched him for a whole two months, and Alfred had given him a disappointed stare.

Damian couldn't stand it. Not anymore.

He snapped.

He had tried, he really had.

But it was never enough.

As the heir to the Demon's Head, attacking at unknown touch has been burned into him. Touch had always meant danger. It was second nature to him now. Unfortunately, his family did not know nor do they understand. Two years of constant reminders that he had done terrible things. Two years of constant reminders that he was merely a killing machine. Two years of greater expectations, both in standard and amount. He had enough.

Damian said goodbye to his pets and ran.

After a good hour of running, he dropped into an alley and cried.

In his vulnerable state, he didn't see a man creep up. A man holding a gun. The unknown adult was planning to kidnap the boy, but as soon as his hands reached Damian, he reacted. He flipped the man over his shoulder like what he did to Dick earlier. But in his state, it didn't affect much. The man pulled out a knife and stabbed him in his side. It ended the fight.

The kidnapper ended up running away, leaving a heavily injured Damian to slowly watch the world as his vision turned black.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Marinette, who had just finished some business with Superman, decided to take a walk in Gotham before going home. Along the way, she spotted a boy covered in blood as she crossed an alleyway. He was already unconscious, and Marinette knew she couldn't just leave him there. So she opened a portal and went through it and carried the boy in her hands. She laid him down in her spare room and left to get her medical supplies.

Approximately six hours later, the boy woke up. His eyes scanned the room as he tried to up and leave. Limping, he tried to head to the window. "Hi sweetie, you need to calm down," Marinette’s soft voice said as she walked slowly to the boy., "You should be resting; moving might agitate your injuries." The boy just stared at her. Marinette stood up slowly and walked over. "May I?" she asked, reaching for his hand. When he nodded, she carefully took his hand and led him to the bed. Once there, she helped Damian into a comfortable position. "Do you have anyone you can call?" she questioned. When he didn't answer, she simply nodded her head and asked him what he would like to eat.

Damian ended up staying for three weeks because Marinette refused to let him leave until he was fully healed. The twelve year old grew closer to the woman. Once healed, he confessed that he has nowhere to stay. Marinette took the information in stride and told him he was more than welcome to stay with her. And stay he did.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Living with Marinette was incredible. Unlike his grandfather and his father, she didn't place any expectations on him. At one point, he slipped and called her mom. Damian had froze after he said that, scared of how she would react. It ended up with Marinette asking him whether or not he would mind her adopting him. Damian happily agreed and they soon got the paperwork done. (Chloe is conveniently Marinette’s lawyer). Damian wore the Dupain-Cheng name with pride. As Grand Guardian, Marinette took it upon herself to teach Damian magic. Starting with glamour, they covered the basics of magic.

Two weeks after the adoption, while reading the daily news, Damian came across an article on the front page.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The Daily Planet

BREAKING NEWS!!

Not more than six weeks ago, twelve year old Damian Wayne was reported missing. The only biological child of Bruce Wayne was suspected to have ran away for an unknown reason. He was last seen running to his room before he left. “Maybe I was a little too harsh,” Bruce Wayne admitted, “But this isn’t the first time I had to ground him because he wasn’t able to control his strength.” The young boy had somehow managed to flip Richard John Grayson, Bruce Wayne’s eldest, when he had surprised him with a hug. “Damian and I may not get along, but that doesn’t mean I don’t care,” Tim Drake, co-CEO of Wayne Enterprises said.

Damian Wayne is a tan boy with dark hair and striking green eyes. He weighs around 90 lbs at 4’9 ft tall. Currently, he is twelve years old. Multiple search parties have been launched. I myself know Damian personally from all the times he has visited my son. If you find the boy, please contact xx-xxx-xxx-xxx and we will get to you as soon as possible.

- Clark Kent

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After reading, Damian had a breakdown. Marinette rushed in when she heard the sobs of her child. She didn’t say anything and instead she approached slowly wrapping him in her arms. She let him cry as she rubbed his back and once he calmed down, he told her his story and why he left.

“All these new expectations were just overwhelming,” he said, “‘No killing’, ‘justice not vengeance’—it’s like they were expecting me to turn back. I never wanted to hurt them, but it’s something that is a reflex now. It’s not easy to let go of a habit.” Marinette was silent throughout his whole rant. She knew how terrible Ra’s and Talia were but that didn’t make it better. She knew the Batman could be cold, but the fact that he didn’t listen and try to understand infuriated her.

“Ra’s and Talia should know not to mess with me, but if I ever see your father I can and will punch him,” she growled. Damian smiled as he nuzzled into his mother’s chest.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Three years passed. Damian and Marinette’s bond grew stronger while the search parties grew hopeless. The Justice League was also involved; so were the Titans and the Young Justice. They concluded that Damian was either dead or hiding really well. The former option was discarded when Zatara and Zatanna had almost managed to track him, but unfortunately the spell suddenly shattered when it was nearing.

Desperate, the batfamily decided to reach out to the Grand Guardian of the Miraculous. Imagine their surprise when they saw Damian on their way to her house. When they ran to him, Damian, now fifteen, went into an alley and disappeared. They rushed to Marinette’s house and knocked. They heard hard breathing and a gentle voice trying to calm the other party down. Leaning towards the door, Dick found that it was unlocked and tumbled in.

What they saw was Damian kneeling on the floor crying in the middle of a breakdown and Marinette trying to soothe him. “Out,” Marinette glared. The boys obeyed and waited anxiously. The person that they had been searching for was under the protection of the Guardian all this time. It made sense why even both Zatara and Zatanna couldn’t track him down.

An hour later, Marinette opened the door telling them to come in and wait. She took some water and placed them on her coffee table saying that Damian was taking a shower. As soon as she sat down the boys began to fire questions. They stopped after a good fifteen minutes and noticing that Marinette wasn’t saying anything. “I know why Damian ran away, yes, but it is not my place to say. I can ask him later, and I will not say anything without his permission. But I will say this,” Marinette said, voice colder than ice, “You f*cked up.” Marinette stood up to check on Damian. “By the way,” she stopped for a moment, “I adopted him three years ago.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian ended up being the one to tell them everything. Everything from why he ran away to why he decided to stay. The Waynes felt bad; they hadn’t even bothered thinking about his perspective. Looking back, Jason and Bruce realized what Damian had said about the League was true. “I’m- We’re sorry Damian,” Dick apologized. “Are you willing to come back?”

“No,” he said. The Waynes were visibly saddened.

“But I am willing to start over.”

1445 words

I had tons of fun writing this fic, hope you guys like it

~Leen

@animegirlweeb @battybatbat @crystalangelluna @dorkus-minimus @galaxylightmoon @iglowinggemma28 @insane-fangirl-of-everything @jayjayspixiepop @jjmjjktth @karukofox21 @lunathealphafemale @megaafangirl @miraculouslydumb @myazael @nickristus-dreamer @our-preciousss @samiamack @sh31bin0 @user00000003 @waffleyunsure

#maribat #mominette

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chainofclovers · 3 years

Text

Grace and Frankie 7x1 - 7x4 thoughts

Meh? Like...I love them so much, but...meh?

(I did enjoy this line about brunch.)

I really loved season 6 of Grace and Frankie. I thought it was well-paced, largely very well-acted, generally well-written, and it culminated in a massive moment of character development for the title characters, who, having spent years growing closer and being there for each other when others could not or would not be, finally articulate to each other that they are the primary person in each other’s lives. Platonic gal pal soulmate BFF emotional support witches 4 lyfe!

I know progress isn’t always linear, and in fact is very rarely linear, but after a moment that significant, you’d think the writers on this show would maybe come up with some more interesting things for these characters to do than spin in circles?

@bristler and I watched on Friday night, and just this morning over breakfast had a good conversation about the first four episodes of the new season now that they have settled in our brains a bit. We concluded that the writing (often noticeably clunky, like the dialogue is responsible for more narration than usual) and the tone (aggressively wacky) feel really off, especially compared to the prior season. I think we diagnosed the big issue, which is that Lily Tomlin and Jane Fonda are by far the most talented actors on this show (if you disagree, fight me in the parking lot) and it feels surprisingly unfortunate that their characters have, to this point in the new season, pretty much figured out their perspectives on each other. No matter how people feel about Grace and Frankie’s sexualities, the whole show has been about them finding each other and getting in deeper and deeper, and it’s less interesting to watch other characters have realizations about that than it is to watch Grace and Frankie having realizations about themselves. If the title characters are now limited to reacting to other people’s actions, and the title characters are played by the best actors on the show, the whole show’s gonna suffer. And is suffering, very much so, at least for these first four episodes. I’m definitely still excited for the final twelve in 2022 (twelve! I cannot believe this season will have sixteen eps!), but I’m pretty disappointed so far.

Stuff I Loved:

The family brunch. These families have been entwined for so long, and the backstory for this particular brunch was so fun (even though I didn’t care for the effects they did to depict Grace and Robert 25 years ago; there was no need for a visual flashback in the scene). I love that Grace hit Frankie with a wiffle ball bat. I love that the two couples realized some of the emotional reasons behind their decisions to lie to each other about Bud’s Bunny and about M’Challah. I love the way Jane Fonda sounds uttering the phrase “Bud’s Bunny” with little to no irony. I love that Grace is able to recognize and articulate just how deep and miserable her anger issues were, albeit with the continued help of her omnipresent martini, and that Frankie told her she’d now make up a holiday in order to spend more time with Grace. I really, really hope Frankie does exactly this at some point in the remaining episodes of the season. I love that Grace is generally a pretty good person now, with aspirations of being a delightful person. I love that she and Frankie don’t have it in them to stay angry with each other, and I love all the evidence that they really, really talk to each other about everything now.

Frankie talking to the man at the office (I don’t remember who he was supposed to be? A toilet manufacturer? I didn’t mention this before, but I actually got pretty high while watching?!? Believe it or not, this was the first time I smoked pot and watched Grace and Frankie at the same time despite having enjoyed both activities on their own for quite some time. I would recommend the combo! And I think I still pretty much got what was happening) about paying for the toilet parts with candy. This whole subplot with the money laundering was absurd and not that interesting, but I loved this particular scene because it was finally evidence of some really thoughtful writing. The concepts aren’t enough! You have to write them into good dialogue! And the whole cash/candy thing was a moment of dialogue that only someone as hilarious as Lily Tomlin could pull off. Which she did, IMO.

In a show about super messy people, Coyote has stayed sober this entire time. He is sober, employed, in love, and preparing to buy a full-sized house with his partner. He hasn’t murdered anyone in his family. Hasn’t even attempted murder once.

In 2017 or whatever, Grace Hanson would have been furious about Frankie using obscure Beatles references like a treasure map when hiding the cash. But here in 2021, she cooperates and even gets in on the fun. The writing is very unsubtle this season, but that did feel like a reasonably subtle moment that shows how good of a partner she is for Frankie. (Platonic, of course! So platonic. Female friendship, amirite?)

Stuff I Did NOT Love and Felt Incredibly Negative About:

Brianna. I can only conclude that June Diane Raphael has decided she’s happy with playing a character whose primary role in life is to be hot and mean. She succeeds at being hot and mean, but I have reached my limit with this character. I realize we’re only a quarter of the way into the season, but I don’t think I can take another arc about her learning to compromise only to reveal to Barry that she never intended to compromise at all. At this point, it’s both abusive and boring. How?! The Grace/Brianna parallels aren’t interesting anymore, because one character has grown and the other is stagnant. I get that Brianna was raised in an emotionally stilted environment by two unhealthy people. But I think it would be very cool if she could learn something from her mother at this point. Grace has put a ton of effort into dealing with her “rabbit-killing, mad-at-the-world anger.” She’s put a ton of effort into figuring out what makes her happy, what she wants her life to look like. She’s even started accepting her age and abilities without shame. And that growth is believable; Grace is still short-tempered and she still slugs back way too many martinis and she struggles to articulate certain things, but she’s grown into a truly lovely human. And while, as a daughter with a mother, I can absolutely attest to the fact that it can be difficult and uncomfortable to learn lessons from one’s mother, Brianna really, really should. Grace spent decades letting anger and shame trap her in a small, miserable life. Brianna—and even Mallory, who just seems like a vapid idiot this season—are traveling that same path, but there’s someone right there who could really help, maybe even more than Frankie helped when the Hanson girls were first growing up.

The arraignment. The scene might’ve been salvageable if it was filmed from Grace’s perspective, and filmed to reflect how surreal and improbable it all was. But speaking of non-linear progress, this scene erased everything Nick Skolka has done to put himself in my good graces (LOL) over the past couple seasons. I mean, I tried, man. I even wrote fic about Nick, Grace, and Frankie making a genuine effort at polyamory. But the arraignment is so emotionally manipulative, such a slap in the face of everything Grace has worked for, and while we’re certainly “supposed” to feel the weight of the moment, I mean, it’s not like we’re supposed to be like, “Oh, cool, we’re in a rom com now! This is adorable!” it still felt bad and unearned and slapdash.

And I want Frankie to process these things with her! Frankie seems so happy to have all this information about Grace and how Grace feels, but I want to see scenes in which we can gain an understanding of how Frankie actually feels. Hearing Frankie talk to other people about how Grace feels is interesting, but it’s like there’s no room in these episodes for us to learn anything new about Frankie herself.

Grace’s transitional wig. Is so. Bad. It is. Such a. Bad wig. Oof. I mean, I like what they’re doing with Grace’s hair from a plot perspective, although (see one bullet up) I would really like to get more of an understanding of what’s happening in Grace’s head, not just on top of her head. And gosh, Frankie would be a really good person to talk to about this in a conversation that lasts longer than 30 seconds. But the wig! She’s in a wig in all four episodes, of course, since Jane Fonda went grey and cut her hair short before they started filming this season. The wig for episodes 1 and 2 is fine; it’s a good approximation of Grace’s typical hair, and of course we know that canonically Grace’s hair isn’t 100% her own hair anyway. But the wig with grey roots looks so weird. The part that’s growing out doesn’t look the same as the hair on the wig from 1 and 2. And the grey roots look like a yarmulke. I cannot wait to get to the point in the season when Grace goes all the way grey.

(One more thing about the hair. I can’t let it go. I paused the show while we were watching to rant, but I’m not done.) I had the great privilege of seeing Jane Fonda in person at a protest in 2019. She is an insanely beautiful human. She was growing her hair out and it was partially dyed blonde and partially grey. It looked really cool. I am not ashamed to say I spent that day learning many things about the climate crisis and about Jane Fonda’s hair. Having seen her in real life with her real hair looking that fucking great, I just have a an extra-large grudge against everyone involved in that horrible wig. The wig is necessary, but it didn’t have to be this bad.

What Do I Care About Now?

I am pretty intrigued by the way Grace threw out her real age in a conversation with Nick and Elena. She has nothing to fear anymore! She’s so chill about aging! What could go wrong? I assume that Nick and Elena maneuvering for Nick to be on house arrest in Grace's house specifically has to do with the fact that Grace is 82. She’s gonna find out that Nick is allowed to be with her because she’s ancient and helpless and the court took pity. Or something like that. She’s going to feel betrayed on top of feeling stifled and overwhelmed by Nick’s presence. I want to see where this goes for sure.

Other than that, and other than the fact that I really do continue to believe this show is moving in a direction in which Grace and Frankie will choose each other, I feel very whatever about this whole thing. I love this show and I will always appreciate this show for giving me some incredible characters to spend years of my life writing about, and for bringing me some pretty amazing friendships. Speaking of those friendships, yesterday @ellydash and @telanu and I were talking about some of the incredible TV we’ve watched recently, like Ted Lasso and Hacks and Fleabag and Killing Eve, and how great it feels to watch beautifully written TV crafted by writers who are profoundly—organically yet intentionally—attuned to even the most minor character’s rhythm. The disappointment of these first few episodes of the new G&F season feels like a mild disappointment rather than a sharp heartbreak, and that has a lot to do with being deeply invested in other shows that could also go in all kinds of different directions but with writing I fundamentally trust.

Also Jane Fonda and Lily Tomlin are my forever faves and my appreciation for their performances and general awesomeness onscreen and in life is undiminished. So that’s pretty cool.

#grace and frankie #meta by me #grace and frankie s7 spoilers #a lesbian watches ted lasso #grace hanson is a gay disaster #except #she's not even a disaster anymore #she's totally fine and men keep bothering her!#frankie bergstein is a bisexual mess

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pillow-anime-talk · 4 years

Text

mistletoe. {pt.2}

synopsis: Killing cursed spirits with Satoru, winter prom with Metori and sincere conversation with Juuzou.

# tags: scenarios; christmas!au; current relationships & crush culture; romance; fluff; a bit of angst; sfw

includes: female reader ft. satoru gojou {jjk} + metori saiko {saiki k. no psi nan} + juuzou suzuya {tokyo ghoul}

part one {click}

— SATORU

“... Y/N-chan, on the left!”

“... Hey, hey! Look up, sweetheart!”

“... Oi! Behind you!”

“... Behind you too! Kick their asses, Satoru~!”

“... YEAH! Here’s my super strong girl!”

You two have been in the forest; for over twenty minutes you dealing with killing smaller or larger curses that frightened mushroom pickers or wild animals. You had a lot of fun doing it, all the time competing to see who killed more evil creatures. Of course, your boyfriend was winning so far, by three, but how could you know that some of them would come out of the forest litter, literally letting the white-haired man kill them all in a few seconds? Well, but at least you killed about twelve curses yourself, and that was a really nice result.

On the one hand, you enjoyed spending time with Gojou like that, because it was very rare for the two of you to be together on a mission, but on the other hand... It was the time of Christmas that you wanted to spend in your own home, surrounded by delicious food and desserts, hot wine or beer, loved ones, including your boyfriend’s cute students or your mutual friends. From a long time, that is, from the moment you became a sorcerer, you didn’t spend any holidays, birthdays or anniversaries as you would like. There was simply no time and energy for it because every day, apart from some Sundays, you worked to make life better for vulnerable people. It wasn’t a bad job, but sometimes... when you looking at ‘normal’ couples you envied their ignorance to the fact that some evil had appeared around them. You envied them that they could spend their free time together doing stupid things or relaxing in front of the TV.

So you sighed softly, raising the hand in which you held the small pocket knife. Small as your anti-curse tool was, it was also extremely effective and dangerous. Therefore, you cut the throat of one of the evil souls without any problems, thus defeating the last enemy.

“Ahhhh. Finally...! You’re not hurt, baby?” The young man said in a cheerful voice, and you shook your head in disapproval. Second later, you cleaned the little knife and then, hid it in one of the pockets of your black pants. “Would you like to get some hot chocolate and cake?”

“Huh? Have we finished all our work for today?” You asked in surprise, and the man just bit his lip with joy, putting his finger to his mouth after a while.

“Yes, although you forgot one thing, love.” You raised an eyebrow at his amused words. However, Satoru quickly got rid of your unawareness as soon as he raised his right hand and pointed at something above with his index finger. For a moment you were sure that he meant a curse that hadn’t been killed before, but as it turned out, it was mistletoe growing on one of the tall trees; you were surprised that during the fight he was able to additionally notice a small, green plant. Anyway, you just chuckled lightly as you stood on your tiptoes and tugged at the twenty-eight-year-old by his jacket.

You were happy that at least this one, very sweet Christmas moment could happen to you during the winter season. Thanks to this, these holidays weren’t so bad and devoid of spirit.

— METORI

Every year there was a winter prom at your school; it was the third time for you, while for Saiko, who only joined your class this year, it was something new. Of course, he was skeptical about it from the start and generally discouraged by the very idea of spending time with all PK Academy students, classmates and teachers. That’s why he immediately told you that if you want to go to the prom, he can arrange whatever prom you want; he literally said if you wanted Beyoncé he could call her.

But you just smiled warmly and said that school party is enough for you and you really like it. So he couldn’t refuse you... after all, the gray-haired young boy had a huge, indescribable weakness for you. Plus, even though you’ve been dating for a few weeks, Metori still couldn’t understand how... gentle and simple you were. You weren’t interested in luxury, his money, where his father worked. Instead, you asked every day if he had breakfast, if he would like to go for a walk with you, if he would like to come to you for dinner because your mother cooked a delicious Mexican dish. It was something new and nice for a teenager who had grown up in prosperity and splendor throughout his life. It didn’t bother him, but the prom... it was quite strange and mysterious. But he agreed, so he couldn’t take his words back because he didn’t want you to get sad or disappointed.

Thus, he bought a new, well-fitting and expensive suit – one that would fit perfectly with your delicate dress, which at the same time matches to the color of your shiny eyes. He also paid for new shoes, a watch, and a hairdresser visit, but even that couldn’t compare to your soft, natural blushes and the sweet facial expression you gave him when he came to your house with his butler.

“... You’re stressed?” You asked quietly as you sat in the car and he squeezed your little hand between his much larger ones.

“I’ve just never been at a prom... public... especially at school.” He muttered, and though he turned his head, you could see a hint of blush on his nose and both cheeks. So you chuckled lightly as you cuddled up against his shoulder.

“I’m pretty sure you’ll like it.”

The school hasn’t changed much; only a few holiday decorations have been added here and there. However, the gymnasium took your breath away because it was magically decorated. But before you had time to take your seats on the other side of the door, your physical education teacher stopped the two of you.

“Couples enter after payment.” Mr. Matsuzaki said, and the Santa Claus hat on his head added to the charm of his muscular figure.

Of course, Saiko was already taking out his wallet, but you quickly stopped it, pointing in a specific direction. It was, obviously, the smol mistletoe, which was the aforementioned entry ticket for couples who decided to show up at the ball together. So you smiled slightly at your boyfriend and he looked at you confused.

“What is it?”

“O-Oh, you never kissed under the mistletoe?”

“Kissing under it has any meaning?” He asked, still surprised, and you just moved closer to his face, stealing a short, really sweet kiss.

“It’s a tradition, love. You have to kiss under every mistletoe if you notice one.” You said happily and then thanked the teacher for going inside the gym.

Of course, Metori in his head was already calculating how many tons of mistletoe he should buy so that you could continue kissing him as sweetly as you just did.

— JUUZOU

You put two cups of hot, beautifully fragrant chocolate on the table; one was with two white marshmallows and the other with six. Of course, it was easy to guess which portion was for Juuzou and which was for you. Nevertheless, you smiled gently and then sat down next to the white-haired boy, staring at him out of the corner of your eye.

“... About what did you dream, Juuzou-kun?” You asked softly, taking the purple cup between both hands. The warm ceramics pleasantly burned your all fingers, which made you breathe blissfully. “Of course, if you don’t want to, you don’t have to tell me. We can just sit in silence and drink our sweet cocoa.” You added after a brief second so as not to put unnecessary pressure or general stress on the nineteen-year-old.

“It’s no big deal. I dreamed about my mom.” He admitted hesitantly, also taking his dark-green mug. “When I woke up and looked at the calendar I realized we had Christmas time and... Well, my mom never gave me any, not even a small gift, nor did I ever spend that time like other children my age. It hit me a bit. Not that I regret it, but... what Christmas really is?” His short speech made you look at him with a very sad expression on your face and after a quick while you just put your warm chocolate on the table, getting up from your wooden chair and walking to a random cupboard in your smol kitchen.

This year you didn’t have time (because of work) and no idea (because of fatigue) for presents for loved ones, and even more so for the unexpected guest – Suzuya, who loved to sleep in your house because, as he once said, ‘He felt at your place very safe’, but you managed to come up with a little surprise fastly; you wrapped a red ribbon that was in the cupboard with needles and scissors around an unopened box of nut cookies. You also managed to find a piece of paper and a black pen, so you wrote a concise but sincere wishes to the inspector, which ended with a tiny heart and a star. Out of the corner of your eye, you also noticed the mistletoe lying next to the clock, which was a little joke your dear friend had made to you two days ago. So you took everything and went back to the quietly sitting Juuzou, smiling slightly at him, even a bit silly.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t think about gifts before, but... I hope that’s enough. After today’s work, we can go to the gallery or the park to see the decorated Christmas trees, you will surely like them. Happy Holidays, Juuzou. I hope next year will be a good one for you.” You said shyly as you handed him ribbon-decorated cookies. At the sight of them, the boy only blushed, then looked at your other hand, which was still gripping a little twig. “Ohh... it’s... such a small tradition where you get a kiss under the mistletoe.” You picked up the plant and then placed it over the white-haired young man’s head, bending down after a while and giving him a short peck on the left, smooth cheek. “Merry Christmas once again.”

“Merry Christmas to you too and... thank you for that.”

You only smirked, reaching for the mug of already cool drink. However, you weren’t disappointed in drinking the cold cocoa, because the honest, slightly timid smile of the boy you liked from the beginning of your work at CCG warmed your whole body better than any other hot chocolate, tea or coffee.

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maxinaptak · 3 years

Text

(AoT/ SNK) Key to Salvation: Eren X Abused!Reader

WARNING: REFRENCED NON-CON, FORCED DRUG USE

This is a rough one you guys. Proceed with caution.

You groaned as you rubbed the fairly fresh bruise on your shoulder, letting your head fall against the locker in front of you. The bruise on your shoulder wasn’t the only one you had; in fact, you had several more, both new and old, littering your body. You groaned again as you heard your best friend’s voice coming down the hallway. You lifted your head off your locker and pulled your sweater sleeve down your arm more, making sure it covered your bruise and the needle marks.

“________,” Eren called loudly, causing you to cringe lightly at his volume, “Where have you been? I haven’t seen you in a few days.”

He stopped next to you and looked at you with such innocent turquoise eyes. Oh, how you loved those innocent eyes. You could never tell Eren about what was going on at home. You just couldn’t.

“I was sick, that’s all,” you lied, faking a smile up at the boy, “Just a little cold. I'm fine now though.”

It almost pained you physically to lie to him, but how could you tell him that you had spent the last three days being given drugs against your will in a dirty basement where dozens of men abused your strung out, limp body while your mother collected their payment.

“Well, I'm glad you’re feeling better!” Eren said, smiling brightly.

You smiled almost sadly and sighed. Eren was your sweet, caring best friend. He had been since you were both in diapers. Fifteen years of friendship and you still couldn’t tell him what was happening; couldn’t tell him that you need help, beg for his help.

“Eren, will you lower your voice? I can hear you all the way down the hallway.” Mikasa, Eren’s adopted sister, said, flicking the brunet in the ear.

“Ow!” He cried, cupping his assaulted ear.

She rolled her eyes and looked at you.

“Are you sure you’re feeling better ________,” Mikasa asked, frowning, “You look more tired than normal.”

You faked another smile and said, “Yep, just fine!”

In all reality, you were going through a nasty withdraw from the clonazepam and oxy your mother normally gave you. This last time, she decided to give you something else to sedate you through your ‘work’, something she injected several times into your veins over the days. You had a feeling that if anyone would notice something was off, it would be Mikasa.

The other girl didn’t look too convinced, but nodded anyway and said, “If you say so. It’s almost time for class to start, so we should get going. You too Eren. If you’re late again, mom will have your ass.”

The tall boy rolled his eyes and hugged you goodbye. You tried your hardest to hide your pained flinch as he squeezed you tightly, but you knew Mikasa had seen it. Once he left, Mikasa set her hard gaze on you again.

“I saw that,” she said, crossing her arms, “What was that about?”

“Ok, so I may have hurt my back trying a new yoga pose yesterday. But I wasn’t gonna tell him that.” You said, jutting your thumb in the direction Eren had left in.

It wasn’t a total lie this time. Your back did hurt, but it sure as hell wasn’t from doing yoga. Your slightly older friend rolled her eyes and turned to head to your first hour class. You quickly ran after her, trying your best not to limp. You reached your AP Psychology class and took your seats. Your teacher had the desks in clusters of six or seven seats and you two got lucky enough to be put with your friends.

“Hey guys.” You said, plopping your book down onto your desk.

Krista, Ymir, Sascha, and Max all smiled back and greeted you both. You made small talk for a few minutes before the bell rang, signaling the start of the school day. You turned your attention to your teacher, Mr. O’Neil, and swallowed hard when you saw what he was writing on the board.

Drug Addiction: The effects, the signs, and withdrawal symptoms.

‘Fuck my life with a cactus….’ You thought, slowly sliding down in your seat a little.

You prayed to whatever god there may be (though you didn’t really believe that there was one anymore) that none of your friends, especially Mikasa, would notice that you were exhibiting some of the signs and symptoms.

You had managed to make it through the class with your teeth clenched and practically sprinted out of the room when it was over. You made it to your economics class in record time and slumped into your seat, letting your head slam down on your desk.

“Damn kid, rough morning?”

You slowly raised your head to look at your student teacher, Levi Ackerman. Apparently, he was a distant cousin to Mikasa, but she didn’t really know him.

“Rough couple of days.” You admitted, voice flat and eyes dull.

The short male regarded you carefully, as he had taken note that you had been absent for the past three days and went to his bag.

“Alright kiddo, I’ve got some dark chocolate and a Red Machine Naked Juice,” he said, placing said items on your desk in front of you, “You look like you’ve been through some shit, and you need these more than I do. Besides, it looks like you’ve lost a shit ton of weight since the semester started.”

Your face flushed bright red. You didn’t think Mr. Ackerman paid that much attention to any of his students, let alone you.

“T-thanks Mr. Ackerman….” You said, opening the chocolate bar and taking a small bite.

“No problem kid.” He said, turning to go back to his desk, but stopping.

He hesitated for a moment before turning back to you and crouching down next to you.

He waited for you to meet his gaze and quietly said, “________, you can come to me if you need to talk or if you need help, ok?”

You stared at him in shock and slowly nodded. You’d never heard him speak like that and it almost freaked you out. He nodded at you and returned to his desk. You let your eyes fall onto your desk and stared at it blankly.

“________?”

You jumped and whipped around to see Eren setting his stuff down on the desk next to you.

“What was that all about?” He asked, discreetly nodding his head in your teacher’s direction.

You swallowed hard and stumbled over your words as you tried to reply.

“N-nothing,” you said, averting your eyes from his, “He was just telling me that I looked like crap and needed to eat something, so he gave me this, that’s all.”

You quickly grabbed the bottle of juice and tried to open it, but struggled. You knew you had been having a bit of a hard time doing normal things, but never had you struggled to open a beverage bottle. You frowned and stopped trying to open the juice.

“Here, I got it,” Eren said, taking the bottle from you and cracking it open easily with his large hands, “I'm kinda shocked he’d be nice enough to give you something, but you should drink this. It’ll help you feel better.”

He carefully put the bottle back into your hand and you weakly smiled at him. You took a long drink from the juice and sighed, satisfied by the taste. Soon the room was full and the bell rang, class starting.

Levi’s eyes scanned over his students as they worked on the small packet he had given them to complete before the end of class. He heard a snore from beside him and looked at the teacher he was supposed to be shadowing, Dot Pixis, and rolled his eyes when he saw him asleep again. How that man became a teacher was beyond him. He heard footsteps approaching his desk and turned his attention forward again.

“Eren and I are finished with the packet.” ________ said, holding out two packets.

“As always, finished before anyone else. The brat is lucky you partner with him every time.” Levi said, shaking his head and reaching out for the papers.

As ________ pulled her hand away, she accidently knocked over the cup of pens and pencils on the desk.

“Shit, sorry Mr. Ackerman. I’ll take care of it.” She said, crouching down quickly.

“It’s fine, kid, don’t worry about it.” He said, looking over the side of his desk at her.

His eyes widened as the left sleeve of her sweater raised up, revealing a bruise vaguely shaped like a handprint and several track marks on her upper forearm. He froze, not knowing what to do as he watched her quickly pick up the scattered writing utensils and put them back into the cup. He swallowed hard and tried to formulate words, say anything to her, but he couldn’t manage it, too shocked. She smiled smally at him before going back to her desk. His eyes followed her and jumped over to Eren, her best friend. If he couldn’t talk to ________ directly, he sure as hell could talk to the brat.

“Jaeger, see me after class.” He said, trying to keep his voice steady.

Eren groaned loudly.

“What the fuck did I do this time?” Eren practically whined.

He dramatically draped himself over where your desks were pushed together, making you breathe out a laugh.

“I don’t know, but this happens at least once a week and you know it.” You said, petting his shoulder length hair.

He sighed deeply and peeked up at you with his beautiful turquoise eyes, pouting. You stared at him and couldn’t help but smile lovingly at him. You’d never told anyone, but you’d been in love with the tall boy since you were eleven and he was twelve. He’d always been there for you, doing everything he could to make you laugh and smile. Usually, he’d drag Armin into his antics too, but it was all in good fun and you all laughed together.

“Your hair’s get long,” you murmured, playing with the little bun that was tied at the base of his skull, “Are you gonna cut it?”

Eren hummed and said, “Nah, I kinda like it like this. What do you think about it? Does it look bad?”

You shook your head and said, “No, I like it. I think it looks really good on you.”

“Then I’m definitely keeping it long.” He said, smiling up at you.

You smiled back and continued to talk to him for the rest of class. When the bell rang, you gathered your things and gave Eren a sympathetic look.

“I’ll see you later Eren. Have fun with Mr. A.” You said, waving.

“Yeah,” he groaned, standing up, “Have fun in anatomy with Armin. Embarrass him for me, would ya?”

“Sure! I’ve got a good dirty joke or two that I haven’t told in front of him yet.” You said, grinning.

Eren sighed and picked up his bag before walking up to Levi’s desk.

“You wanted to see me sir?” He asked, shoulders slumped.

Levi nodded and said, “Yes. What class do you have next?”

Eren was confused but answered, “German. Why?”

“Are you doing well in that class?” Levi asked.

“I’ve been speaking German since I was born basically,” Eren said, still confused as all hell, “My dad’s family lives in Germany, and my grandparents don’t speak English very well. I only took the class so I could get an easy A…. Why do you ask?”

Levi stood from his desk and motioned for Eren to follow him as he said, “I wanted to make sure it wouldn’t be a problem if you missed part of the class. I need to speak to you, but somewhere private.”

Eren was beyond confused now but followed his teacher anyway. The shorter man always seemed rather serious, but this time, he seemed deadly serious about whatever it was. He followed Levi to one of the biology labs and went inside.

“Hanji, I need to borrow your lab for a little bit,” Levi said, addressing one of the other student teachers he was friends with, “I need to speak to Eren alone.”

The crazy science teacher looked up from her notes and said, “Oh! Ok, sure! Just let me know when you’re done!”

She quickly left the room and closed the door behind her. Levi sat down and motioned for Eren to do the same. The younger boy did, facing his teacher.

“What’s going on Mr. Ackerman?” Eren asked, frowning.

Levi took a deep breath and said, “I need to talk to you about ________.”

Eren’s eyebrows furrowed and he asked, “________? What about her?”

“Something’s going on with her. Has she said anything to you?” He asked.

Eren thought for a moment before shaking his head as he said, “I mean, she said that she had a cold and that’s why she wasn’t at school the last few days. Other than that, no.”

Levi nodded and thought for a moment before he asked, “Eren, you’re her best friend, right?”

The brunet nodded.

“Do you pay close attention to her? The way she looks, the way she acts?”

Eren blinked a few times before shyly nodding his head.

“Then have you noticed that she’s lost quite a bit of weight since the semester started?” Levi asked.

Eren nodded again and said, “I tried to ask her about it once, but she got really upset about it and snapped at me, so I didn’t say anything after that. But I noticed that she was losing more and more weight as the weeks went on. And every few weeks she looks really sick and upset, but she won’t talk to me about it….”

Levi sighed deeply again and said, “Eren, I saw something on her arm today, in class when she was picking up the pens. That’s why I asked you to stay after.”

“What was on her arm?” Eren asked, worried and confused at the same time.

“There was a large bruise that looked like a handprint. And she had several… track marks on her forearm.” Levi said, letting his own shoulders drop in sadness.

“What are track marks?” Eren asked, still confused.

Levi looked up at Eren and said, “Needle marks, Eren. From using drugs.”

Eren’s eyes widened.

“Drugs?! No way! ________ would never!” Eren said, denial evident in his voice.

Levi sighed again and said, “Eren I know what track marks look like. It’s no secret that I grew up on the streets. A lot of people I ran with did drugs back then. I know what I saw.”

Eren’s heart dropped into his stomach, knowing that his teacher couldn’t be wrong. He thought back over the months and remembered seeing ________’s forearms and elbow crooks all the time. There were never any needle marks before. Bruises, sure, but ________ was clumsy.

“I-it must be new…,” he said, looking down at his hands, “She’s never had needle marks on her arms before….”

“What about the bruises?” Levi asked.

Eren shrugged and said, “She’s always had a few bruises here and there, ever since we were kids. She’s clumsy as hell, always has been. And she bruises easily because she’s anemic.”

“Has she always been anemic?”

Eren shook his head and said, “No…. It started around the time we started high school. That’s also when she started to look sick and upset every few weeks…. And her weight started fluctuating and her eating habits changed too….”

Eren’s eyebrows furrowed again and he started to get more upset, thinking about how something was wrong with his best friend, the girl he was in love with, and he didn’t even realize, even though he saw everything.

“I should have known something was wrong….” Eren whispered, clenching his fists.

“Eren, it’s not your fault. You guys are kids still. It’s not your job to watch every little detail about her.” Levi said, trying to make the teen feel less guilty.

“But I love her,” Eren almost cried, a desperate look on his face, “I have been watching every detail about her for years! I should have known!”

Eren hung his head and let out a shaky breath, resting his head in his hands. Levi looked at his student sadly. He knew that the boy was in love with ________; it was pretty obvious, at least to him. And he could see that ________ loved him back. It was beyond him why the two hadn’t began dating yet, but that was beside the point at the moment.

“Now you know something’s up with her. Use the information you have now and talk to her.” Levi said, putting a hand on Eren’s shoulder.

The younger male looked up at his teacher and sighed, nodding.

Levi nodded back and said, “Alright. Now come on. I’ll write you a note to excuse you for missing class.”

Eren nodded again and sadly trailed behind his teacher. He got his note and trudged to his German class. He gave the note to Herr Ham and took his seat in the back of the classroom, spacing out. It didn’t matter if her paid attention or not. His teacher was horrible and taught in a ridiculous way that confused most students. The only reason he was top of the class was because he’s a native speaker. All he could think about was ________. He would see her again fifth hour for lunch and he didn’t know how he could face her without saying anything. He didn’t want to talk to her in front of their friends. He sighed and rested his head on his arms on his desk.

“For fuck’s sake….” You muttered, sitting back on your legs.

You were currently on your knees in a bathroom stall, retching into the toilet every so often. It didn’t surprise you that this was happening; you were going through oxycodone withdrawal after all. Nausea and vomiting were normal. You’d gone through this a few times before, but never this badly. You wondered if whatever drug your mother gave you the last few days was making it worse this time around.

“Oh god,” you groaned, feeling bile rise in your throat again, “Not again…!”

You heaved into the toilet again, hot tears running down your cheeks. All you had had to eat that day was what Mr. Ackerman had given you during econ, and there was no way any of it still resided in your stomach. All you could taste was stomach acid, your throat burning. You checked the time on your phone and sighed. Fifth period was almost over and you knew Eren would be worried that you weren’t there. You tried to get up and leave a few times, but it was obvious that your body wasn’t done. You shakily unlocked your phone and typed out a choppy text to Eren.

Eren frowned as he arrived at his normal lunch table. Armin and Max were sitting together, holding hands and feeding each other like normal; Mikasa and Annie were sitting across from each other, glaring at each other with an awkward sexual tension between them, like normal; and Jean and Marco were holding hands and eating quietly, like normal. What was not like normal, was the fact that ________ was missing. Eren was always the last one to arrive at the table and ________ was always sitting in one of the two open seats left at the table when he got there.

“Has anyone seen ________?” He asked, sitting down.

Max swallowed a strawberry Armin had fed her and said, “Not since third hour.”

“I saw her heading towards the cafeteria on my way here,” Marco said, frowning slightly, “But then she ran into the bathroom. I haven’t seen her since.”

Eren frowned deeply and stared down at his food. He sighed and ultimately started to pick at his food, eventually shoveling it into his mouth quickly as his dumb teenage body demanded him to. Near the end of the hour, his phone vibrated. He fished it out of his pocket and looked at it. It was a text from ________.

Felt sick, stuck in bathroom. Sorry. See you later.

Eren frowned again and sighed.

“What’s wrong Eren?” Mikasa asked, finally breaking her gaze away from her (not so secret) secret girlfriend.

“________ texted me. She said she was feeling sick and was stuck in the bathroom.” Eren said, shoulders slumping.

Max frowned and said, “I can go check on her if you’re really worried.”

Eren looked up at the red-haired girl gratefully and said, “Yes, please.”

She smiled and nodded. She leaned over to Armin and gave him several quick kisses before getting up and leaving the cafeteria.

“________?”

You jumped as you heard someone call your name. You knew that voice; it was your friend Max.

“M-Max?” You choked out, coughing.

You heard her run to the large stall you were in and try the door.

“________, are you ok? Eren said you were sick and you don’t sound good at all!” She said, voice full of concern.

You weakly moved to open the door to let her in before going back to slumping against the wall. She quickly came in and dropped to her knees in front of you.

“Oh my god, hon, are you ok?” She asked, gently putting her hands on your arms.

You sighed as more tears slipped from your eyes and shook your head as you breathed, “No…. I’ve been throwing up all hour….”

“Oh no, ________...,” Max said, looking at you sadly, “You need to go to the nurse and go home!”

You sighed again and said, “My mom won’t come get me….”

“I’ll take you home. They’ve let me do it for Armin before, and he wasn’t nearly this sick.” Max said, pulling her phone out.

She called Armin and asked for him to come to the bathroom and help. She hung up and pocketed her phone before gently stroking your (h/c) hair.

A minute later the door to the bathroom opened and you heard Armin call out, “Max, ________? Is there anyone else in there or can we come in?”

“It’s just us, come in.” Max called back.

Soon Armin was in the doorway of the stall, Eren behind him. Eren quickly pushed his way past him and gently scooped you up into his arms. Armin grabbed your backpack and followed you out of the bathroom. A security guard saw you being carried out of the bathroom by Eren and Armin following behind and asked what was going on.

“Our friend got really sick and needs to go to the nurse, but she couldn’t walk. I couldn’t carry her on my own, so I asked them to come and help.” Max explained, giving the older man puppy dog eyes.

The security guard was a little flustered by the look she was giving him and he let you guys go. You giggled a little, knowing your friend would use her incredibly seductive puppy dog eyes to get you out of any trouble. Armin may not like it, but you thought it was hilarious. Your little group made its way to the nurse’s office and Max explained the situation to the woman. Taking one look at you, the nurse gave Max permission to drive you home. She called the office and asked for a teacher to escort you out so you wouldn’t get in trouble. You were a little surprised to see Mr. Ackerman walk into the room, concern written all over his usually stoic face.

“I knew you were feeling sick this morning, but I didn’t know it was this bad.” He said, frowning.

You looked down shyly and shrugged your shoulders as best you could in Eren’s arms. Your group, now escorted by your teacher, made its way outside to Max’s car. Eren carefully placed you in the passenger seat and handed you a plastic bag for ‘just in case’. Armin put your bag in the backseat along with Max’s and kissed the girl before she got in. The three males stepped back and your friend pulled out of the parking spot. She drove carefully to your house and parked in your driveway.

“Do you need help inside?” She asked, turning to look at you.

You hesitated, not know if you really wanted to bother her anymore.

“You know what, don’t answer,” she said, unbuckling her seatbelt, “I’m helping you to as least the front door.”

She got out of the car and you sighed, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips. Your door opened and Max helped you out of the car. She grabbed your bag from the back. She took your arm and helped you slowly walk to the door. You unlocked it and stepped inside, taking your bag from your friend.

“Thank you.” You said, smiling at your friend.

She smiled back and said, “Anytime. And if you’re not feeling better by Saturday morning, one of us is taking you to the doctor.”

You opened your mouth to say no but you didn’t get a chance.

“No arguments,” Max said, finality in her voice, “If you’re still this sick, you’re going to the doctor.”

You sighed in defeat and said, “Ok. Thanks for today. I’ll see you tomorrow. Hopefully.”

Max smiled at you sadly and nodded before getting back in her car and driving away, heading back to school. You closed the door and dragged your feet towards your room.

“What the fuck are you doing home?”

You silently groaned and turned to look at your mother.

“I got really sick.” You said, rubbing your face tiredly.

“That’s no excuse for you to come home.” The woman said, irritated.

You dully stared at her and said, “I was throwing up every few minutes all of fifth hour. It finally seems to have calmed down but I still feel like shit. My friends took me to the nurse and they made me go home.”

Your mother glared at you and said, “Well why the fuck are you sick anyway?”

You glared back and said, “I don’t know, maybe it’s because I'm going through serious withdrawal from the clonazepam and oxy. It’s been four days since you last shoved oxy down my throat and it’s hitting me hard as fuck this time.”

Your mother rolled her eyes and turned back to her magazine. You shook your head and made you way to your bedroom. You set your bag down by your desk before falling face down on your bed. Luckily, your bed was still sacred and safe. The only man that had ever been in your bed was Eren, and those times were never sexual. Only lazy weekend naps and scrolling through social media together, showing each other things you found funny. You sighed heavily again and wiggled your way under your covers, managing to fall asleep a little faster than normal due to how horrible you felt.

Max pulled back in to her parking spot at school and turned off her car. She sighed and stepped out, shocked to see the three males she’d left fifteen minutes ago standing in the same place.

“You guys waited here this whole time?” She asked, confused.

They nodded and Armin took her hand, leading her back into the school. Eren and Levi slowly trail behind them and spoke quietly.

“Did you get a chance to talk to her?” Levi asked.

Eren shook his head and said, “No…. She got sick before I even saw her….”

Levi nodded and they walked in silence. They’d figure out the best way to talk to her eventually.

You groaned as you rinsed your mouth out for the fourth time that morning. You hadn’t made it to school the day before and you were still sick. It was now Saturday, and you knew your phone would be ringing soon. One of your friends would be taking you to the doctor today, and you were dreading it. As if on cue, your phone began to ring. You sighed and walked into your room to pick it up.

“Hello?” You asked, answering without checking the caller ID.

“________, how are you feeling?” Eren’s voice came through.

“Oh, Eren…,” you said, not expecting him to call this early, “I-I’m… not doing so hot….”

You finally admitted to him that you weren’t alright. You sat on your bed and wrapped your free arm around your stomach.

“You’re still feeling sick?” Eren asked, a frown evident in his voice.

You sighed and answered, “Yeah. Honestly, I'm not feeling any better than I did at school the other day.”

“Alright, I’m taking you to the doctor,” Eren said, sounding like he was getting up, “Get ready, I’ll be there in fifteen minutes.”

You were surprised, but said, “O-ok…! Um, I’ll be ready.”

He hung up with a quick goodbye and you stared down at your phone, blinking owlishly. You sighed again and set it down on your bed so you could get ready. You pulled on a pair of leggings and a t-shirt with your school’s mascot on it. You grabbed the hoodie that you had been wearing to bed, which actually belonged to Eren, and pulled it on, smiling at the way you drowned in the large garment. You pulled on a pair of slip-on boots and grabbed your small backpack purse. You grabbed your phone and made your way downstairs. Your mother was snoring loudly on the couch, an empty bottle of vodka still gripped in her hand that was hanging off the edge, resting on the floor. You rolled your eyes and leaned against the wall next to the window by the front door. A few minutes later, Eren’s beat up old car pulled into your driveway and you slipped out the door, locking it behind you. Eren met you halfway to the car and gently took your hand in one of his and braced your arm with the other, helping you to walk to the car. He opened your door and helped you in, even buckling your seatbelt for you.

“Thank you.” You said, smiling up at him.

He smiled back at you and carefully closed your door before going around the car and getting in the driver’s seat. He backed out of your driveway and took off down the street, heading towards downtown.

“Where are we going anyway,” you asked, biting your lip, “You know I don’t have insurance….”

He grinned over at you and said, “We’re going to my dad’s clinic. He said he’d see you free of charge.”

You smiled hearing that. Grisha Jaeger was a good man. Since your families had known each other since you and Eren were babies, you grew up seeing the man often. He was always kind to you, and you knew he was a good man since he took in Mikasa after her parents died when she and Eren were ten. He was the only father figure you had left since your dad died when you were eight. It was around that time that your mom started drinking and selling sex for money. When you turned fourteen, she realized that she could sell you instead and get even more money without her having to do anything. You sighed lightly as all of these thoughts swirled through your head, making it throb slightly.

“Hey, you good? Need me to roll the window down or something?” Eren asked, looking at you worriedly.

You smiled nervously at him and said, “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna throw up in your car. It’s passed for now at least. I was just kinda spacing out, that’s all.”

Eren nodded and said, “I’m glad you feel better now. And you throwing up in my car probably wouldn’t be the worst thing that’s happened in here. I’m pretty sure Jean and Marco fucked in the backseat that time we went camping last summer.”

“Oh my god, seriously?!” You asked, shocked and kind of amused.

Eren nodded and said, “I saw them sneaking back to the campsite from the parking lot and then my car smelled nasty the next morning. And Marco couldn’t look me in the eye for a week.”

You laughed harder than you had laughed in a long time at this, holding your stomach as it cramped lightly.

“Ow…,” you cried, tears of laughter streaming down your face, “It hurts! It’s so funny it hurts!”

You quickly pulled you phone out and dialed Jean’s number.

“Hello?”

“Jean, did you and Marco really fuck in Eren’s car last summer when we went camping?!” You asked, still laughing.

You could hear the horror in his voice as he said, “How did you find out about that?!”

You barked out another laugh and said, “Eren’s known about it since it happened! He saw you guys sneaking back to the campsite that night!”

Jean swore and hung up on you, causing you to laugh even harder. You put your phone back in your purse and leaned back in your seat, your laughter dying down.

“I can’t believe you called him.” Eren chuckled, shaking his head.

“I can’t believe he admitted it to me. Well, in a way.” You said, giggling again.

Eren rolled his eyes and pulled into the empty parking lot of his dad’s clinic.

He must have seen your confused look and said, “The clinic doesn’t open until 11 o’clock. Dad wanted me to bring you in early to make sure there was time to do a thorough exam and run any tests needed before any other patients were here.”

You nodded in understanding and bit your lip nervously. At least one of your secrets was about to come out and you were not ready for that. Your door opened and you jumped slightly, looking up to see Eren shaking his head at you. He leaned down and unbuckled your seatbelt for you. He took your hand and helped you out of the car. You expected him to let go of your hand, but he didn’t. Instead, he held onto your hand tightly and guided you to the back door of the clinic, unlocking it and opening it, leading you in.

“You have a key?” You asked.

He nodded and said, “I sometimes help dad out by coming in before or after hours and help clean and stuff.”

You nodded and looked around hesitantly, not ready for this.

“Dad, we’re here!” He called into the mostly dark clinic.

“Back here, room 3.” His father called back.

Eren lead you down two hallways to the only room with lights on. You saw Dr. Jaeger setting up several different things and you immediately froze. He must have noticed because gave you a gentle smile.

“Relax ________,” he said softly, “Eren told me that you haven’t been to a doctor in quite a while, so I figured we’d just do a full work up.”

You swallowed had and nodded, letting Eren lead you over to the exam table, helping you to sit on it. He smiled at you a little before letting go of your hand, turning to leave the room.

“W-wait…,” you said, reaching out and grabbing his arm, “Stay… please…?”

He blinked at you a few times before looking at his father and asked, “Is it alright if stay dad?”

“As long as she says it’s alright, then yes.” He answered, nodding.

Eren nodded as well and moved to stand next to the exam table. You didn’t look at him or his dad, instead, just staring down at your hands in your lap.

“Alright, let’s start with your height and weight.” Dr. Jaeger said, motioning for you to come over to the scale.

You slipped off the table and went over, letting him measure your height (A/N: anything shorter than 6 foot so you’re shorter than Eren). You couldn’t look at the little screen on the scale where the numbers would pop up, indicating your weight.

“94 lbs,” Dr. Jaeger said, frowning, “________, that’s extremely low.”

You swallowed hard and said, “I know…. I knew my weight was low but I didn’t know it was that low….”

You trudged back to the exam table and climbed back onto it, not meeting the eyes of either Jaeger. The older man came over and grabbed the blood pressure cuff.

“Can you take your sweater off please?” Dr. Jaeger asked.

You took a shuddering deep breath and slowly pulled off your hoodie. You shyly offered the doctor you left arm, looking anywhere but him. The room was silent as you felt both males staring at you.

“________, I’m going to ask you some questions, and I need you to be completely honest with me, do you understand?” Dr. Jaeger asked.

You nodded, pulling your arm back, wrapping both your arms around your body.

“Are you taking drugs?” He asked.

“Not willingly….” You answered quietly.

“Someone’s making you take them?”

You nodded again.

“Who?”

You swallowed hard and said, “My mom….”

You felt Eren’s eyes boring into the side of your head but you refused to look at him.

“What is she giving you?” Dr asked.

“Normally she gives me clonazepam and oxy when I… have to work…. But last time she injected me with something instead. I don’t know what it was though….” You said, bringing one hand up to bite on your nails.

Dr. Jaeger was quiet for a moment before he asked, “What kind of work do you do?”

You squeezed your eyes closed tightly and said, “Sex work….”

“What?!” Eren cried, making you cringe.

“Eren, calm down,” Grisha said, “Freaking out right now isn’t going to help her at all.”

“S-sorry….” Eren stuttered, gently taking your hand.

“Does your mother force you to do this work?” Dr asked.

You nodded and said, “Yes…. When my dad died, she couldn’t pay the bills anymore and started selling herself. When I turned fourteen, she realized that if she sold me, she could make twice the money without having to do anything herself. I struggled and fought at first, and she would always get mad and say that I was too loud and that we’d get caught. So, she started drugging me to get through the meetings. It started out with just the clonazepam, but somewhere along the way she added the oxy.

“It was only once every few weeks at first, but then she started taking me to that place every week. Now it’s at least three nights a week, for… well, I’m actually not sure how long were there for since I’m drugged the whole time…. After she started bringing me every week, my body got dependent on the drugs…. That’s how she controls me now…. I've been going through really bad withdrawal this whole week…. The last time I had either was Sunday night….”

Both Jaegers were quiet for a moment.

Dr. Jaeger sighed heavily and said, “________, because of what your mother has been forcing you to do, I’m going to have to ask you some difficult questions, alright?”

You nodded.

“Do you know how many men have… been with you?” He asked, sounding like he didn’t want to be asking you these questions, just as much as you didn’t want to be asked them.

“I’m not sure…. I’m drugged every time now…. But if I had to guess… probably at least 300, maybe 350….” You said, rubbing your arm in shame.

Another sigh came from the doctor and you could hear Eren breathing heavily.

“Do you know if protection was used?”

You sighed and said, “Mom never put me on birth control and from the number of times I woke up to… fluids dripping down my thighs I assume not.”

Sighs were heard from both males in the room and you finally looked up. Dr. Jaeger looked conflicted and Eren looked so sad and so angry at the same time.

“I’m sorry I never told you Eren,” you said, hesitantly gripping his sleeve, “I was so embarrassed and… I was scared that if anyone found out that I would get in trouble….”

Eren shook his head almost violently and said, “Don’t apologize! It’s not your fault she made you do that! I’m sorry that I never notice anything was going on!”

“It’s alright Eren. I did everything I could to make sure you didn’t know.” You said, shrugging.

You both fell silent and Dr. Jaeger cleared his throat. You turned your attention back to him.

“Given the information you’ve provided me, I’m afraid I need to perform a pelvic exam and take some swabs and samples to make sure you’re not seriously sick.” He said, looking at you apologetically.

You sighed and nodded, figuring this was coming.

You looked at Eren and asked, “Will you stay with me still?”

He looked at you confused and asked, “Are you sure you want me to stay in here while he exams your… you know… girly bits?”

You nodded and said, “I already know it’s gonna be uncomfortable as hell. I've heard these exams can hurt a little, especially if samples need to be taken. It’s also going to be awkward as fuck since it’s your dad and all, so I might as well have some sort of comfort. You can face the wall behind me if it helps.”

He hesitated, but nodded. Dr. Jaeger began to gather all of the instruments and things he needed for the exam while you put on the paper gown he gave you. You asked Eren to tie it for you and her did. Once it was tied, you slipped off your leggings and panties without him seeing anything. To spare both of you any extra embarrassment, you folded your panties inside your leggings so he didn’t see them.

“Lay back and place your feet into the stirrups, then slide your bottom towards the end of the table.” Dr. Jaeger said, sitting on the rolling stool.

You did what you were told and held your hand out to Eren, who was facing the wall behind you, but could still see you. He took your hand and held it tightly. Dr. Jaeger started to examine you and you breathed deeply, closing your eyes. You could feel your face heat up in embarrassment and couldn’t bring yourself to look at Eren, even as he squeezed your hand reassuringly. Once you felt the speculum touch you, you breathed deeply again, anticipating the pain of something entering you. It didn’t hurt while going in, but when it started to open, you whined slightly at the burning pain.

“I apologize ________,” Dr said, “I’ll be as quick as I can.”

You nodded and bit your lip. After what felt like forever, but was only about a minute and a half, the speculum was pulled out of you and you sighed in relief. You sat up and looked at Dr. Jaeger, watching as he collected all of the swabs and samples he had taken.

“I’m going to go process these and we should have the results in about twenty minutes. I’ll also need to take some blood samples to check a few things.” He said, standing.

You nodded and took the towel he handed you. He left the room and Eren turned his back so you could clean yourself up and get dressed again. You did so quickly and tossed the towel into the labeled basket.

“I’m done.” You said, sitting on the table again.

Eren turned back to you and leaned against the exam table, pulling you into a tight, but gentle hug. You hugged him back and buried your face into his neck.

“I love you,” he said, stroking your (h/c) hair, “I’ve wanted to tell you for so long but I was too scared. But after hearing that your own mother was forcing you to do that kind of stuff, I felt like I had to tell you… tell you that someone loved you….”

You teared up a little and said, “I love you too Eren…. But I was so scared to tell you because I thought no one could love me when I’m so used and disgusting….”

“You’re not disgusting,” Eren said, kissing your forehead, “You’ve been abused. None of it was your choice or your fault. Nothing could make me stop loving you.”

You looked up at him and he smiled at you. He leaned down and kissed you gently. You kissed him back before resting your head against his chest while he stood between your legs, hugging you. You stayed like that until the door opened again.

“Can I assume that you two finally confessed?” Dr. Jaeger asked, raising an eyebrow.

You giggled quietly and Eren nodded.

He nodded back and said, “Congratulations, and finally. Now, I’m sorry to have to separate you two lovebirds, but I need to take some blood samples.”

You nodded and pulled away from Eren to offer your arm to his father. He tied a rubber strip around your arm and felt for your vein. Once he found it, he skillfully stuck the needle in your arm and collected the blood he needed.

“Eren, hold this here for me.” He said, nodding down to the folded cotton pad he had placed over the needlestick.

Eren’s tanned fingers gently pressed down on the cotton and his father went to dispose of the needle. He came back with a roll of (f/c) coban and wrapped it around your arm. You thanked him and moved back to your embrace with Eren.

“I’ll run these tests and when all the results are back, we’ll go over them. For now, relax.” Grisha said, nodding at you two.

You nodded and rested your head back on Eren’s chest. He rested his chin on top of your head and hummed happily. You talked idly for a little over half an hour before Dr. Jaeger came back in, a dark look on his face.

“I know that look,” Eren said, sounding a little scared, “And nothing good comes after it….”

Grisha sighed and pulled the rolling stool over again, sitting down in front of you.

“Don’t sugarcoat it.” You said, trying to steal your nerves.

“There are a few things that we need to discus,” Dr. Jaeger said, looking down at the clipboard in his hands, “Are you sure you ok with Eren hearing this information?”

You nodded and said, “Yes. He knows everything else now. I’m not going to hide anything from him anymore.”

Dr. Jaeger nodded and said, “Alright. We’ll your anemia has gotten worse, which judging by how low your iron levels are, is probably due to your lack of nutrition. And your extreme weight loss is most likely due to your body’s dependence on the drugs.”

You nodded at his words. You had kind of figured that would be the case, but you were dreading whatever other diagnoses you might get.

“You have a few other vitamin deficiencies and insufficiencies, but that’s to be expected.”

You nodded.

“Unfortunately, I have two more rather serious diagnoses for you.”

You swallowed hard and nodded, holding onto Eren’s hand tightly.

“The lesser of the two is that you have a bacterial infection. It can be taken care of with antibiotics though.” Dr. Jaeger said.

You closed your eyes and sighed sadly.

“It’s an STD… isn’t it…?” You asked, looking at him.

“Yes. You have chlamydia, which, like I said, is treatable,” Dr said, trying to reassure you, “All you have to do is take the antibiotics that I give you and abstain from any sexual activity for a while and you’ll be cured.”

You nodded sadly and asked, “What’s the other bad news?”

Dr. Jaeger fell silent and his face grew dark again. A chill ran down your spine at the look.

“Dad,” Eren said, “What is it?”

The man sighed heavily and said, “________, according to your blood test, you’re somewhere between four and six weeks pregnant….”

The blood drained out of your face and your heart dropped into your stomach. You could see Dr. Jaeger’s lips moving, but all you could hear was a high-pitched ringing. It hadn’t been the withdrawal that was making you so sick…. It was because you were pregnant….

“I think I'm gonna be sick…!” You said, jumping up from the exam table and running to the garbage can that was built into the counter next to the sink.

You hunched over it and heaved roughly, bringing up stomach acid again. Gentle hands gathered your hair away from your face and another hand rubbed your back. You retched a few more times before gasping and coughing.

“Rinse your mouth out dear.” Dr. Jaeger said, turning the water on and grabbing a small cup.

He filled it and handed it to you. You took the water in, swished it around and spit it out in the sink. You coughed a few more times before straightening up, stumbling slightly. Eren quickly steadied you and brought you into his chest. Tears flooded your eyes and you began to sob.

“What am I going to do…?!” You cried, grabbing onto Eren’s shirt tightly.

“We’ll figure it out,” he said, hugging you tightly, “We’ll get through this. I swear…!”

You spent a while crying into your boyfriend’s chest before you were able to calm down.

“Eren, I want you to take ________ to our house,” Grisha said, taking his phone out, “I’ll call your mother and explain what’s going on. She’ll know how to help.”

Eren nodded and lead you out of the clinic and back to his car. He got you in and quickly drove to his house. He helped you out of the car and to the front door where his mother met you.

“Oh ________, darling.” She cooed, pulling you into a hug.

You started to cry again and she slowly brought you to the couch. She lowered you both down and stroked your hair. Eren came and sat on your other side and rested his hand on your knee, letting you know he was there. You managed to calm down quicker this time and pulled out of Carla’s loving embrace.

You sniffled and said, “Did Papa call you yet?”

Carla smiled lightly at the name you had called Grisha since your father died and nodded.

“I have a plan.” She said, petting your hair.

You nodded and Eren asked, “What is it?”

“There are obviously a few things that we need to address, but the first one is ________’s mother. We need to get the police involved.” Carla said.

You sighed. You were afraid she was going to say that.

“I know you don’t want to ________, but we have to,” Carla said, petting your hair gently, “But don’t worry, we’ll be with you the whole way.”

You nodded and asked, “What do we do after that?”

“We get you in a rehab program to get your body to not be dependent on the drugs anymore.” She answered.

You nodded again and looked down at your hands.

“What about… the baby…?” Eren asked, hesitant.

You peeked up at Carla through your lashes, curious to see her reaction.

She smiled a little sadly and said, “It’s still early on. We need to take care of those two things first, and then we’ll turn our attention to that. Oh, and we need to get that infection cleared up! That’s really priority number 1. Well, 1A, since we can do that and the police at the same time.”

You giggled a little at her, causing her to smile at you.

“Mom, can ________ stay with us from now on?” Eren asked.

“Of course! We’re getting that bitch thrown in jail so she needs somewhere to live. And this is the safest place for her.” Carla said.

You and Eren looked at the woman in shock.

“Mom!” Eren exclaimed, wide-eyed.

She looked at you two and asked, “What?”

“You never swear,” you giggled, “At least, not like that!”

The woman shrugged and said, “I’m just calling it like I see it.”

You giggled again and nodded.

“My mom should be out doing god knows what right now, so we should probably go get my stuff.” You said, looking to Eren.

He nodded and you stood, say goodbye to your new mother and going to the car. It didn’t take long to reach your house and you sighed in relief when you saw that your mother’s car was indeed gone. You quickly went inside and to your room. You went to your closet and reached for the large duffle bag that was on the top shelf, but couldn’t reach it.

“Need some help there?” Eren asked, coming up behind you and putting a hand on your waist.

“Yes please.” You said, tilting your head back so you could look up at him.

He smiled down at you and gave you a quick kiss before grabbing the bag. He placed it on your bed and helped you shove your small wardrobe into it. You didn’t have a lot of stuff, since you didn’t see any of the money you made from ‘working’, so your belongings were few and far between and all fit into your duffle and backpack. Shoving the last item into your bag, a photo of you and Eren from when you were kids, you froze as you heard the front door slam shut.

“________, are you back? Whose piece of shit car is that?” Your mother yelled, sounding mostly sober.

You took a deep, shuddering breath and felt Eren wrap his arms around you.

“We’ll make something up and get out of here quickly, I swear.” He whispered, kissing your forehead.

You nodded and took another deep breath before steeling your nerves and walking downstairs.

“There you are,” your mother said, her drawn on eyebrows pinching together when she saw you, “What the fuck is all this?”

Your mind blanked and you started to panic slightly, looking to Eren for help.

“Max asked to barrow some stuff from ________ for a project and since we were all planning on hanging out today, I just decided to drive her.” Eren said, forcing a smile.

Your mother eyed you both for a moment before nodding slowly.

“Whatever. As long as your back in time for our plans tonight.” She said, staring you down.

A chill ran down your spine and squeezed out “Yes ma’am….”

She nodded again and waved her hand dismissively as she walked towards the kitchen. You quickly ran out the door and Eren threw your bags into the back seat. You got in the car and Eren sped the whole way back to his house. Once there, he put your things in his room and you sat down with his mother again.

“So, you’re supposed to work tonight?” She asked, pulling out her phone.

You nodded and watched as she dialed a number.

“Hannes, hi, it’s Carla,” she said, tilting her head a little, “Listen, Grisha and I need a favor.”

She listened for a moment before humming.

“Great,” Carla said, smiling, “You remember Eren’s friend ________, right? Well, turns out her mother is a horrid bitch and has been forcing ________ into sex work for the past few years. She was so scared that she wasn’t able to tell us anything before today when she saw Grisha for an exam. The bitch has also been forcing ________ to take drugs. Is there any way to set her up tonight to get her arrested?”

She listened again and you could faintly hear someone talking on the other end of the line, but you couldn’t make out what they were saying.

“Wonderful. We’ll come by the station when Grisha gets home. Thanks.”

The woman hung up and looked at you with a smile.

“That hag should be in jail tonight.” She said, a sly smirk on her lips.

You were still a little shocked to see this side of Eren’s mother, but you kind of liked it. You smiled yourself and hugged your new mom, thanking her.

“What do we do after she’s arrested?” Eren asked.

“Well, first, since ________ is still 17, your father and I will have to take care of whatever legal paperwork needs to be done to become her guardians. Then, rehab.” Carla said, stroking your hair.

You nodded and reached out for Eren’s hand. He laced his fingers with yours and brought your hand up, kissing it lovingly. You ended up cuddling up with Eren on the couch watching tv with his mother while waiting for your father to get home. Once he arrived, you all got into his car and drove to the police station.

You let out a breath you didn’t know you had been holding as you watched a cop handcuff your mother.

“You little bitch! How dare you do this to me! I’ll make you regret it!!” She screeched, fighting against the cop.

You huffed out a breath and turned away from her, searching for Eren. You spotted him quickly and made your way to him. He hugged you and kissed your forehead. The next step now was rehab. It turns out that your new mom had a friend that ran a really nice rehab facility. And you didn’t have to pay for a thing, since the courts had decided that your biological mother owed you sever hundred thousand dollars for all of the trauma and damages she caused. You kept up with your school work while in rehab, but a little over two weeks into the program, you ended up in the hospital. They called Carla and your family quickly raced over.

“________,” Eren cried, bursting into you room, “Are you ok?! What happened?!”

You smiled tiredly at him and reached out for his hand. He quickly came to your side and held your hand with both of his.

“I miscarried.” You said simply.

Eren’s eyes widened at the news, and he didn’t know how to react, not knowing how you felt.

“How do you feel about the situation?” Your mom asked, sitting next to you on your bed and petting your head.

You smiled sadly and said, “I’m a little sad but, it’s best that this happened. I’m not ready for a baby and I honestly don’t know how I would have handled having a child from that situation. So, I'm ok.”

Eren frowned and said, “You don’t look like you’re ok.”

You laughed lightly and said, “I meant mentally and emotionally. Physically I’m tired as fuck and still in pain. Both from rehab and this. But I really am fine. I’ll be better in no time, I promise.”

Eren sighed lightly but nodded. You leaned up and kissed him gently before resting back in your bed.

Two months later, you were back home with Eren and your new family and you would be graduation high school soon. You were clean and sober a little over two months and you had recovered from the miscarriage completely. Your life was normal now, and you couldn’t be any happier with your boyfriend and your new family.

#attack on titan #shingeki no kyojin #aot #snk #eren jeager #eren yeager #eren jaeger x reader #eren yaeger x reader

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