#this dude is pretty rad

[shadyufo]

Came home to a gift from one of the neighbors on my front porch. They know I like bones!

[radellama]

Omg, what was your dream? If you're interested in sharing it :0 I keep my own dream journal so it's interesting to hear other people's dreams.

Haha glad to share! This dream was back in 2018 and it was when I had a quick nap while I was house sitting with a friend. As soon as I woke up I quickly drew the main visual of the dream because it left such a distinct feeling in me and I was shaking when I woke up haha.

It was more of a nightmare than a dream, as I had a really strong sense of dread and there was something about the atmosphere of that dream that was so.... Thick?

I was walking on the beach right where the water was coming in, so it was lapping at my ankles every other step and my feet were soaked. I had the distinct feeling that something was behind me, but I didn't know what, and couldn't see because it was so dark. All I had was a flashlight, but it barely lit up the ground in front of me, and I was almost better off not using it. When I look up, I see a bunch of lines against a red sky- which I assumed to be very straight trees in a forest. I looked back, cause the slight change in the wind felt like breathing on my neck, but nothing is there, just the waves at my feet. When I turn back around and keep going forward, there's a white bar in the sky between the lines. Something about that white bar felt like hope, the first time, at least. I started running towards it but I fell, and turned around to check for injury. Every time I turned around or tried to run, more white bars would fill in the sky, and instead of hope, it was pure dread. I was terrified, something felt so wrong, I couldn't do anything without more white bars appearing between the lines and it started to feel like they'd get me or something lol. I also noticed that no matter how far I ran, the bars and lines were fixed in the sky, like a skybox in a video game. Perpetually out of reach...

I woke up in a cold sweat and was still shaky from the fear, but I fucking loved that visual so much and described it to my friend as I drew. It gave me the same chills you usually look for when you're playing a scary game, and I'd love to somehow use this concept in a story/game, but who knows.

Your masking tape art was so pretty and reminded me of the ominous white bars from my dream... Except yours are the NICE version haha, mine were evil :P

[unknownarmageddon]

*sigh* how we hanging, Geddon

the holy shit post is getting so many notes again jay help me jay help ple

[deus-ex-mona]

glow up of the century. nagisa went from having one anime ending mv with little to no relevance to the Haniwa Cinematic Universe aside from like. four frames with hiyori to having a full blown rabusutori AND a timeskip tease .

nagisa really went from being a complete nobody to becoming the best boy of all time in no time flat~~ we stan a hiyori-loving man!!!

[sad-gay-cowboy]

skrunkly awesome dude

:)

[sleepdepravity]

Damn. Dies while writing an article about wealth inequality. What an icon.

[starfish-spencer]

genuinely what did he mean by this:

Shawn and Jules: break up

Lassie, completely unprompted: HEY HAVE YOU EVER CONSIDERED DATING MEN IT WOULD BE PRETTY RAD JUST SAYING I THINK KISSING DUDES WOULD BE REALLY COOL NO PARTICULAR REASON THINK ABOUT IT

Shawn, a raging bisexual, who flirted with Lassie for four consecutive years:

@snackhouse @vertigoevolved @pineapple-coffee

[radiance1]

Danny owns a ship.

A giant, wonderous piece of technology he is even! He made his ship from scratch!

Well, with a bit of help here and there from his parents, mom with the blueprints, him and his sister with design, and his dad showing how to fit certain pieces with each other that he couldn't do himself.

All of that resulting in the birth of his son, Tempest!

He did wonders on open water, a great ship all around that really only need him and him alone, usually at the very least. If he wasn't inviting a few friends on board, that is.

His ship was also fitted with some very good tech, wouldn't be of Fenton design if it weren't! Ghost shields, ectoplasmic canons, an engine running off of ectoplasm, etc, etc.

After he well outlived his friends and family (discounting Vlad, but that fruitloop would never die on his own anyway) he decided to sail Tempest into various waters, and by various, he meant various. Tempest, a ship unbound by time and able to sail along the timestream as long as he doesn't accidently fuck things up, lest Clockwork get on his ass about that.

It took a while of pleading for him to even agree to allow him to sail a ship as advanced as Tempest into the past, but he managed to do so. On an agreement that he would sail over to changes in time and fix them, which he does, and in the future it's pretty rad he won't lie.

Of course, then everything got kinda fucked up. You see, he was going back to his timeline via the timestream, and was going to drop by Vlad's place to drop off a few of his more recent spoils-

And yes, he dumps various things from his adventures on Vlad, least he could do after that whole trying to get with his mom and kill his dad thing. The dude's chill now, or as chill as he can get anyway, and has quite the interest in appraising the stuff he drops off, so a win-win for both of them honestly. Also, he uses the guy and his resources to upgrade Tempest here and there.

-When he uh, he well. He kinda, fucked up. Now you see, it wasn't his and it obviously wasn't the fault of Tempest either, but something outside the timestream (That Clockwork told him specifically not to look at) dragged his attention for a mite too long and suddenly he wasn't in the timestream at all.

Okay, so maybe it was his fault.

So now he was outside his dimension's timestream, and oh boy was trying to get back to it far harder than he was expecting. No wonder Clockwork constantly told him to be careful and pay full attention to navigating the timestream.

And he kinda, lost his...

He isn't a Master of Time like Clockwork is, though he does hold a good knowledge of the timestream he isn't as capable as Clockwork. So now he's lost navigating... wherever the hell he is, and is kinda hoping Clockwork would realize and find him.

He does manage to get back on a timestream though. He doesn't recognize it, but hell he only recognizes his because it was the only one he's ever entered so far. So he pops off to the present time of this timestream, and thinks that hey, yea, this definitely isn't his timeline.

Because there was a fuck ton of heroes, supervillains, magic, you name it, its here.

So, what was one eternally young-looking captain the Tempest, a time sailing ship, to do?

Explore of course!

[sinnersweets]

DogDay x Reader part 2

A/N: Highly requested so here you guys go! Enjoy!

<----part 1 part 3---->

DogDay led me outside of the Playhouse and back outside into Playcare. A few feet in front of us was a chicken. A tall yellow chicken. Ah, that must have been KickinChicken. “Hiya KC!” DogDay was still holding my hand but with his other he waved extremely fast to KickinChicken. “Sup DD! Hey, finally got yourself a helper now huh? ‘Bout time dude.” KickinChicken then handed off the kids too, I’m assuming his helper. His helper also matched him as well. Guess that was the uniform for us working with these...tall animal mascots.  

Kickinchicken walked up to me and DogDay. “Names Kickinchicken, the cool member of the Smiling Critters.” DogDay laughed when he said that. “Go on Angel, introduce yourself.” I wasn’t used to seeing animals so tall, it scared me a little. I held out my free hand to KickenChicken and summoned some courage to talk.  

“Hello, I’m Y/N or Angel, doesn’t really matter what you call me. Nice to meet you.” KickenChicken then slapped my hand with his and started to make a handshake with me. I mirrored his movements to understand this new handshake I was given. “Haha, she’s pretty cool DD, you got yourself a rad helper.” He then looked at me up and down. “Not bad looking either.” KickenChicken smiled at me. I was going to comment on that, but DogDay beat me too it. “Look at the time! You better hurry along to your group now KC, don’t want our little friends upset now do we?” “Right, well nice meeting ya Y/N, we’ll chat later.” he spoke as he walked back to his group and helper. DogDay squeezed my hand a bit before leading us to the center of Playcare. “On with the tour!” 

--------------- 

DogDay first showed me the statue in the center. It was all the Smiling Critters. There were eight of them in total: DogDay the leader, Bobby Bearhug the loving one, KickenChicken was the cool one, Hoppy Hopscotch the energetic one, CraftyCorn was the artist in the group, Bubba Bubbaphant the smart one, PickyPiggy the foodie, and lastly there was CatNap, DogDays bestest friend. He supposably makes sure that everyone else gets a good night's rest every day to ensure that they are ready for the next day.  

Next, we went into the Toy Store. DogDay was tall, so he had to walk on all fours. “This is where the children can come and buy some sweet toys of yours truly, and the others!” I smiled and looked around. Sure enough there were plushies of DogDay and the rest of the group. There were also some other toys like a blue limp doll, a dinosaur that matched the lamps outside, what looked like a cat and a bee mixed, and other toys. I picked up a smaller version of DogDay and looked at it. “You said the kids buy these?” “Uh-huh! We give them play money to use around here, that way when they get adopted, they’ll know about the real world and how to manage their expenses.” That was smart of them. I set the plushie back down and followed DogDay outside. 

We then looked at the consoler's office and school. DogDay told me that the consolers office was where the staff would put their belongings in and where parents would go to adopt a child. Only DogDay was allowed in the consoler's office, none of the other Smiling Critters could go in there. I’m not sure why but I didn’t question it. “The school is where the children spend most of their time. I’d take you inside so you could meet Miss Delight and her sisters, but I wouldn’t want to interrupt her teachings.” “That’s okay, I’m sure I’ll get to meet them one day.”  

--------------- 

It was now naptime for the children which meant that the Smiling Critters could step away and hang out all together and just relax. I was in the consolers office to check out my assigned office. Each helper had their own office to get away to when needed. Outside my door was a card that had ‘Welcome’ on the front. I picked it up and walked into my new office. I took a look around, nice office, however what stuck out to me was the big dog bed in the corner.  

I was about to walk over to it until I heard a knock at the door. I set down the card and opened the door, but no one was there. Suddenly DogDays head popped out from the side. “Hiya Angel!” “Ah-” I fell back in shock. As I laid on the floor DogDay hovered over me with a worried expression, his sun pendant laid against my chest. “Angel?! Oh gosh I’m so sorry! Are you okay??!” I did a double-blink and then slowly sat up. “Yeah, I’m fine, I just wasn’t expecting that at all.” DogDay then held out a paw towards me to help me to my feet. I took his paw into my hand and once my hand met his paw his tail started to wag. He pulled me up to my feet and got close to me.   I wasn't used to being this close to anyone, let alone a giant dog so I started to blush. This caught DogDays attention. “Angel your face is really red, are you sick?” I was starting to feel bad, not physically but mentally. I didn’t want him to be worried about me. “I-I’m fine! Really DogDay. So, um what brings you by?” I wanted to change the subject as fast as possible. DogDay then smiled and leaned away from me. “I wanted to see if you liked the card we made!” I went to my desk, picked up the card and opened it. ‘Welcome newest helper, we hope that this job brings you happiness and joy as we do to our children here. We look forward to working with you, signed everyone.’ I did like the letter. 

--------------- 

Me and DogDay started chatting for a while until out of nowhere, I yawned. “Oh my, sorry about that.” Guess I was starting to get a bit tired. “That’s okay Angel. There’s thirty minutes left of nap time; you should rest up!” A power nap did sound good. I nodded and told DogDay that he should go back to his friends, but he shook his head no and picked me up and walked over to the dog bed in the corner. Should’ve known it was his.  

“I’d rather spend my free time with you Angel, plus as your boss you have no say.” He stuck his tongue out and booped my nose with his paw. My face got warm again. He then laid down on his bed and laid me in between his front paws. “You can rest with me Angel; I’ve been told that I’m a very fluffy pillow.” He was very soft and the smell of vanilla on him was almost like a drug to put you to sleep, and it was working. I yawned once more and closed my eyes. DogDays head rested near me. “Rest well my Angel.” was the last thing I heard before drifting off to sleep.  

A/N: Thank you for reading!

[octuscle]

Lifelong school internship

Day 1: My guidance counselor had advised me to do an internship in the trades. I'm more of an artistic and intellectual type, but my teacher said that it wouldn't do me any harm to have an insight into a different world. Especially as you have to think seriously about what jobs will still be around in ten years' time. It was more likely to be a carpenter than a journalist. As painful as it is, that's not far-fetched. But me as a carpenter…? I find that absurd…

Day 2: I feel so ridiculous with this tool belt. The other guys here make fun of my manicured pianist fingers. And yes, I don't really fit in here… But I have to admit that the work isn't bad at all. I like the smell of the wood. And I like working with my hands. The other guys all rave to me about how cool it is to be a craftsman. They really enjoy their work. So I forgive the foreman for putting me in a headlock to greet me and making me stick my face in his wet armpit. It's probably a kind of greeting ritual. As long as it's not every day.

Day 4: OMG, like seriously, it's such a rad feeling when you've totally nailed something! I mean, I'm not like a total pro yet, but my boss let me pretty much build the kitchen cabinets all by myself. And dang, they look pretty darn good! My mom would be so proud if she could see them. I gotta send her some pics!

Day 7: Totally sicc, dude! I'm like legit a journeyman now. Finally gonna make some moolah. Gonna go wild partying with the boys tonight. Two crates of brewskis in the back of the pickup, then off to the lake to grill a pig on the bonfire. Damn, it's been ages since I strummed a guitar. But tonight might be the night. Gotta put these calluses from woodworking with the bros to good use somewhere, right?

Day 10: Mate, bein' your own boss at 28 is the real deal. As a tradie, you get to do whatever the hell you want. It's bloody awesome! And buddy, it's bloody cool havin' all the lads dancin' to my tune. And the clients? They'd literally lick my boots just to get me to do their jobs. Can't get better than that!

Day 14: Yo, listen up fam, greeting rituals ain't no joke. You gotta stick to 'em like glue! I mean, this little softie dude who started his apprenticeship with me today better get the memo from the get-go. I always need someone to lick my armpits and blow my popsicle stand. And for real, did it hurt me when I had to do that for my boss? Nah bro, it turned me into a real man. And as a tradesman, you gotta be a real man. Otherwise, you can't hang with the big boys.

Pics by @ki-kink

[drawnfamiliarfaces]

Okay so assuming there is absolutely nothing going on come Halloween night, no ancient threats or out of nowhere invasions or anything, which of the HoM would be up for trick-or-trwating, from most to least hyped?

These 6 would be especially excited for trick-or-treat out of the lot!

Their trick-or-treating would probably consist of them crashing people's homes (enemies and friends alike) to play some harmless (or not) pranks in the spirit of Halloween.

Randy just in general enjoys Halloween and dressing up. Danny is more excited to have Halloween fun with people not from Amity Park (or more like fun to mess with people who are actually afraid/get scared of ghosts unlike most of Amity citizens). Ben and Jun just likes any excuse to mess with people. While Zak and Rex are all up to have some relatively 'normal' fun with a group of friends (something they didnt have many opportunities for when they were younger).

The other three wouldn't mind joining them, but they would be more excited about hosting a big Halloween Party!

Kim, Jake and Jenny always sought out more social forms of holiday celebration, and they really would enjoy hosting a big party, open to all of their friends, be they magical, alien or human. Rex would also be incredibly excited (if not to actually host but to participate in it) because it is another 'normal' experience he never had a chance to get before.

Also can you imagine how rad the party would be???

There is also another thing two of them would be very excited about...

Haunted House/Maze.

Danny and Ben would get into a contest of who could make a better Haunted House/Maze for the party (with some assistance from Randy and Rex).

As I said before, Danny, with all his ghostly powers and expertese would be excited to make a Haunted House for people outside of Amity Park. While Ben would probably rise the challenge to Danny's efforts, saying that he could make a scarier maze.

And the truth is, despite all the ghostly things Danny can do, Ben would make a very decent opposition (and for why, you really need to only refer to Ben 10:AF episode Above and Beyond, that kid can be very sinister lol).

So the party would end up with two haunted mazes, one themed around ghost /spirits /magic, and the other themed around horror movies/sci-fi/aliens, which would fit really well, considering the diversity of their friends. ;D

also i dressed them up like that because

Danny as Phantom, dressed as Fright Knight because i just keep thinking about the dude. Danny as Fenton, a low effort t-shirt because he would be spending more time as Phantom.

Randy as Sorcerer, because despite defeating him, Randy can admit that he was pretty freaking spooky.

Zak as Francis (agent clone boy), because they planned to crash their agency HQ and Zak knew it would annoy Francis.

Jun as Loki of Marvel Variety, because she knows it would annoy Taylor (their universe Loki's demigod son) and it just amuses her in general how popular and different a Marvel Loki is, compared to that Loki she knows and is imprisoned.

Kim as Warmonga, mostly because i wanted to dress her as one of her enemies, but didn't want to go easy way of dressing her up as Shego or Dr. Krakken.

Jenny as Vexus, because Vexus design slaps and i wanted to.

Ben, Rex and Jake went the low-effort easy route (because they are like that), with Jake just freely walking around as Dragon (and people complimenting him on his scaly suit lol), and Ben and Rex transforming freely and whenever the want.

[unknownarmageddon]

hozierr

hozier!!!

[macfrog]

call me

idea came to me in a dream. enjoy also! i made a notifs blog! taglist life is NOT for me, babies. feel free to head on over, follow and turn notifs on to be updated anytime i post! 👉 @macfroglets 👈 you’re gonna wanna do it before this sunday…😉🤠

inspired by @bageldaddy who is the author of the dreamiest series on this site, my biggest crush, and also told me not to tag her but i respect my elders so.

pairing: joel miller x call girl!reader

summary: you moonlight as a call girl, receiving mediocre call after mediocre call. one night, one joel miller dials in, and grants you the most exciting ten minutes of your career

warnings: 18+ (minors dni!!!) this fic is pro-sex work. reader is a phone sex operator, mentions of anal and oral, dirty talk, couple mentions of daddy, praise kink, mutual masturbation, alcohol consumption, cursing

word count: 3k

main masterlist

“What now, baby?�� you whisper, laughing to yourself. You’re palming at your breast, your fingers pulling in around your nipple. Your core begins to throb. “You’re gonna touch yourself.” “That what you want?” “’s what I want, angel. Do it for me.”

It started out as a joke, if you’re being honest.

A wine-drunk night with Liv, sat at opposite ends of the couch, legs intertwined somewhere in the middle of the cushions. Her blouse was stained pink – your fault, apparently, for making her laugh too hard. Her glass tilted a fraction too far and before you knew it, you owed her a new shirt.

“Say it again, say it how he said it,” she snorted, patting her chest down with the damp towel you’d handed her.

“…quite frankly, disappointed with your performance,” your head tilted back and forth, mocking the nasally voice of your fifty-one-year-old, receding-hairline-equipped boss. Ex-boss. Asshole.

“Oh, fuck,” she heaved, still catching her breath. “That’s so fucking funny.”

You sighed in agreement.

“So…what are you actually gonna do now?”

You shrugged. “Sell my body.”

“Dare you.”

“I would.”

“I know you would. And you’d be good at it, too. ‘s why I’m telling you to do it.”

You kicked her ankle. “I got bills to pay, dude.”

“What about one of those call girls?”

And, well. That was that.

You’d googled it after seeing her off to her own apartment, watching her wobbly form stagger across the hall and stab her key a few times into the wood before it landed in the lock. The door closed with an accidental slam which echoed up the stone stairwell, and you crept back to your own place.

Palms either side of your laptop on the counter, face lit in a blue glow, dripdripdrip of your busted tap echoing around your dark kitchen. They asked for an email address – you used the one you’d made up before you realized email addresses were permanent – and a phone number. Said someone would call you to discuss it. You shrugged, hit Sign up and went to bed.

Within hours, you’d spoken to some sharp-accented woman who asked quick, snappy questions and uhuhed her way through your answers. Her name was Erica. She told you she’d look after you, told you to call her with any questions or concerns you had.

All she wanted from you were the basics: you liked sex, you masturbated, you knew how to dirty talk. You sorta knew your way around things like anal, and could manage a convincing pitch for things of a more…exploratory nature.

And then she asked when you wanted to start. You told her that night.

Your first caller – like, ever – was some guy with a midwestern accent who asked you to narrate fucking him. Like, spanking him with a paddle, calling him a bad, bad boy. You threw your nerves to the wind and went along with it, and honestly, had a pretty rad time. He was cool.

But one was enough for your first night. You logged out and went to bed. You told Liv the next morning, and she punched your arm a little too hard and yelled, That’s my fuckin’ girl! Was it hot? Did you…y’know?

No. You never get that lucky. Some calls you can lie idly on your couch and let your limp hand surf beneath the hem of your underwear, push lazy circles against your clit as the dude moans in your ear or gasps when you whine.

Sometimes their mics can pick up the faint sound of them jacking off, and your brain slips you an image that makes your stomach flutter. Sometimes you’ll hang up and take yourself the whole nine yards with your laptop sitting on your mattress, porn on the screen, and your vibrator between your open legs.

It’s pretty intense work. Sometimes.

But all in all: no. You never…y’know.

One week in, you were cooking dinner whilst telling Trevor – thirty-nine, Buffalo, New York – how you’d take his huge, throbbing dick in your throat and let him fuck it. He asked to hear how turned on you were, just talking about it. You lowered your phone down to the pot of macaroni and gave it a stir.

“Oh, fuck,” he groaned down the line, “you’re so fuckin’ wet right now, huh?”

Huh.

Tonight, you had pizza rolls. Less sexy.

You just got off another call. Thirty minutes of describing how good you’d take him up your ass. You’re bored, turned off by this point, and tired. It’s almost 3AM.

You pace around your apartment, flicking switches off and tossing cushions back into place. Spilling small sips of wine from your glass onto your tongue as you’re plunged into darkness, one click at a time.

You don’t get much while the sun’s up. Most days, nothing at all. That works for you, though. You can run errands, grab groceries, do sweet-fucking-nothing whilst waiting for the influx of calls that will inevitably come your way by nightfall. When the streetlights come on, the rush hour traffic dies out front, the shuffling of tired feet up the concrete staircase outside your front door slows down – you just log in, and your cell will eventually start to ring.

Your cell, which now lies wedged between the couch cushions. You notice the sound of it vibrating as you’re pulling your curtains closed. Half-way shut, you desert them and wander over. Intrigued.

No Caller ID. The usual. You swipe right. The robotic voice tells you there’s a request on your account for a ten-minute call. Tells you to dial 1 to accept, or hang up.

Ten minutes? At three in the morning?

Usually, at this time of night, they’re longer. They’re drunk, or their partner finally fell asleep, or they just want your attention for a bit. See them through the uncomfortably quiet night.

But ten fucking minutes?

Ten minutes would make you somewhere around thirty-five dollars. They had the option as the timer ran out to extend the call, if they wanted. Most of them did. And that worked fine for you.

You’re unemployed. Who knows what money you’ll have in a week’s time? An extra thirty bucks – probably more – right before bed? A little nightcap?

You dial in and answer the call.

He doesn’t say anything when it connects. You hear the ruffling of clothes.

Your voice naturally dips a couple octaves, coats in something smooth and husky. Glistening, gleaming, sex-driven. “Hello?”

He clears his throat. His voice is deep, rich. More vibration than speech. He speaks with a Southern drawl, like bare skin running over silken sheets. It’s smooth, and sensual, and sexy. “Evenin’.”

You knock the last light switch off with your hip and doddle through to your bedroom. Mornin’, actually. “Hi. What’re you after, baby?”

He takes a beat to reply. More ruffling. He chuckles a little before he says it. “Baby? That what you wanna call me?”

Your glass scrapes softly across your nightstand. You bounce down on your mattress, springs moaning as you roll onto your stomach. Knees bent, your ankles link in the air. “What do you want me to call you?”

“Guess we can figure that one out together.”

“Alright. I like a challenge. You wanna start with your name?”

Another pause. He sucks in a deep breath. “Joel.”

“Joel,” you repeat, thumb picking at your nailbeds. “That’s a sexy name.”

He doesn’t respond. Just gives a non-committal grunt, and a smile pulls across your lips.

“What are you into, Joel?”

He sniffs. “Thought we could figure that out, too.”

Something in the way he says it, the curve in the words, maybe, tells you he knows damn well what he’s into. What he means is: you can figure that out by yourself.

Like you said: you like a fucking challenge.

“You like nicknames? Daddy? That kinda thing?”

A low growl passes his lips. “Not this early on, I don’t.”

You know from the hitch in his voice that he likes it. That little catch at the bottom of his throat, the way the words stumble on their way up. Know you’ve plucked a string deep inside.

“Well, you know you only got ten minutes, right?”

“I’m aware.”

“’kay,” you sing, flipping your hair over your shoulder. You exhale, drawing shapes on the pattern of your bedsheets. “Why don’t you tell me what you’re thinkin’ about, then? What’s on your mind, cowboy?”

Cowboy. It’s the accent. He sounds Texan, or something. His words float through the receiver all wound, coiled up and tight.

Joel doesn’t seem to care. He answers your question truthfully.

“Thinkin’ about what you’re doin’ right now.”

You smirk. Sometimes you like the attention, too. You turn your head, check the clock by your bed. Two minutes have passed.

“I’m…lying in bed, in the dark. Had a couple wines, feelin’ pretty good. But this is all about you, so.”

He chuckles softly. “’m lyin’ in bed, too. In the dark.”

“You feelin’ lonely?”

He takes another deep breath. You figure he does this before he gives most answers. He sounds the contemplative type. Always double, triple checking his sentences before he lets them go.

“Just need somethin’ to take the edge off.”

“Okay,” you breathe, “let me. What do you need?”

There’s a long break between the end of your question and the sound he makes before he answers. You pull the phone from your ear and glance at the screen to make sure it’s still connected. Time says another two minutes have passed.

Joel grumbles. It echoes around your ear like thunder in the distance. “You touchin’ yourself?” he eventually asks.

“Uhuh,” you reply, nails picking at a loose thread on your comforter.

“Yeah? How’s it feel?”

“Good,” you mewl, tugging at the seam. Your teeth grit as you yank at it. “So – fucking – good.”

There’s another growl from the other end. It vibrates through your speaker, purrs in your ear.

“You ain’t fuckin’ touchin’ yourself.”

Your hand stops. Your eyes stick on the thread. “I am.”

“You are?”

“Yes.”

“Tell me how.”

You roll your eyes, turning onto your back. Your fingers play with the buttons of your shirt. Fuckin’ – tell me how. “I’m…” you sigh, “…I’m laying in bed, on my back. My hands are –”

“What you wearin’?”

“Isn’t that the sorta stuff you oughta ask when I first pick up?”

He speaks calmer. Clearer. You can hear the smile on his lips. “’m askin’ you now. What you wearin’, sweetheart?”

Sweetheart. So he’s that type. Whatever. He’s kind of pissing you off.

“A shirt. And socks. And panties. No bra.”

“’n where you touchin’ yourself?”

You huff. “Between my –”

“Watch the attitude.”

You almost fucking laugh. Your breath escapes your chest in a silent burst. “Between my legs,” you tell him, flat and annoyed.

“Mhm. Above or beneath the panties?”

“Beneath, daddy.”

A tiny groan passes his lips. He doesn’t mean for it to, and a second, angry grumble follows, like he’s pissed at himself for letting it slip.

You take a lock of hair and twirl it around your finger, pulling tight until the tip whitens. “You touching yourself?” you ask, voice sickly sweet.

Joel ignores you. “Take it off. The shirt,” he clarifies, when you don’t answer.

You shuffle around a little, making sure he can hear the movement. You unbutton the shirt until it’s lying loose over your breasts, then tug it down over one shoulder.

“Alright,” you tell him with a heavy breath, laying back on the mattress, “it’s off.”

“Yeah?” he asks, and your eyes flutter closed.

“Mhm.”

Joel chuckles under his breath. “Know when you’re lyin’, angel. Take – it – off. Don’t be a brat about it.”

This is half the game for him, you realize. This is his thing. He gives commands, you disobey them, and he kicks you into line. Tells you to behave.

You figure you like it almost as much, going by the heat pooling between your legs.

Your shoulders lift and you tug the shirt over them, tossing it to the floor. You lie back, bare against the sheets, and your hand instantly cups over your breast.

“Better,” Joel breathes.

“What now, baby?” you whisper, laughing to yourself. You’re palming at your breast, your fingers pulling in around your nipple. Your core begins to throb.

“You’re gonna touch yourself.”

“That what you want?”

“’s what I want, angel. Do it for me.”

You don’t take much more convincing. Your hand slips down your front, cups over your mound. You gasp when your fingertips brush against your clit.

Joel hears. “Yeah,” he hums, “’s a good girl. Take those panties off ‘n rub that pretty little clit for me.”

Your fingertips give one last kiss to the fabric of your panties. Your mouth tips open a fraction. You suck in a quiet breath, and push your hips up off the bed. The lace slips down your thighs in one motion.

Joel’s grunting steadily now, small noises slipping past his lips and into your ear. You spread your legs and push against your bud again, massaging the sensitive skin.

“Fuck, Joel,” you whine, and he groans in response.

“I know, I know,” he’s saying, and you hear the metal tinkle of his belt buckle. The fraying sound of denim being shifted. One slow, relief-filled groan.

His hands are on his cock.

You’d put more effort into caring that he’s been fully clothed this entire time, if you could think straight. You’re applying more pressure to your clit, rubbing faster, harder, then letting your fingers drift downward, move between your gleaming folds.

“Wish I was there with you so bad,” Joel purrs, and your eyes flutter open.

“Yeah?” you choke.

“Yeah.”

“What would you – do to me?”

He shudders. “Would fuck you real good, sweetheart.”

“Fuck,” you breathe, fingers circling faster.

There’s a gentle tugging; a rhythmic breathing. The odd break in his voice when his hand tightens, or you make a sweet little sound, or he catches himself giving too much away.

“Fuckin’ – be all over you. Nice ‘n hard. You want that?”

“Mhm,” you mewl, panting. “Want it so bad.”

“Yeah, you do,” Joel says. You can hear the sticky sound of his precum, leaking from his tip and running between his fingers, being pumped down his shaft by his fist. “Feels good, angel, don’t it? When you do what you’re told?”

“Y-eah,” you whisper.

“Good girl,” he murmurs, and you picture a tight fist choking a thick cock. Picture that same fist unwinding, curving around your mound, fingers pushing deep inside you.

“Joel,” you whimper, and your fingers move down again, dipping nearer your tight, wet hole.

He grunts in response. “Don’t – not yet,” he tells you.

You whine.

“You got somethin’ else to use?” he asks, then interrupts before you can answer. “Yeah, you do. Go get it, sweetheart. Tell me what you got.”

“V-vibrator,” you mumble, hoisting yourself up and lunging across the bed to your nightstand. You haul the drawer open and sift between balled-up socks until you’re clutching the long, thick shape, fingers tight around the dips and curves.

“Let me hear it, angel.”

You click the button and the toy whirrs to life, vibrating strongly in your hand.

Joel hisses. “Alright, sweetheart, lie back. Gonna put it on that pretty little pussy, alright? Gonna make yourself cum for me.”

“Uhuh,” you murmur, one hand lowering the vibrator between your legs, the other holding the phone to your ear in a vice grip.

You push the round tip down to your clit and your head falls back with a loud moan. Joel sends one straight back at the sound of yours. It fades into a whimper, a desperate cry as you massage yourself with your toy.

Your legs clench as you dip it lower, letting the head nudge against your entrance, sending flutters of pleasure across your dripping cunt.

“Don’t fuck yourself,” Joel instructs, and your hand quickly pulls back. “Save it.”

This mystery man, who you’ve known for – if your clock is right – eight minutes, now; whose name is the most information you’ve gotten out of him; and whose face you couldn’t pick in a lineup…has such a hold on you, that your body instinctively reacts to his every word. An automatic reaction to do exactly as he says, when, five minutes ago, you couldn’t wait to get him off the phone.

You fucking listen to him. Save it for what? your head asks, and you ignore it. You don’t push the toy any closer to your center.

It drives hard against your clit, fast vibrations rippling down on the hot, swollen skin. It sends floods of warmth between your legs, drawing your arousal slick and wet from between your folds.

Your chest is damp, gleaming with sweat. Your breath cuts short in your throat, guttural noises replacing it as they reverberate through your mouth, across your tongue and into your dark bedroom.

Your walls start to clamp around nothing. You angle the vibrator so that it sends deep pulses across your pussy, shutting your eyes to picture Joel’s thick cock burying deep inside you as you climax with a loud, broken cry.

“Yeah, good girl. That’s it. Sound so pretty, angel. ‘s a good girl.”

You’re whimpering his name as you come down, holding the toy to your clit and letting your high wash over you. Your chest jumps, breaths heavy and staggered, gasping for air and then letting it rush out of your lungs in desperate pants.

“You know how good you are at that?” he asks, when your breath steadies again.

You giggle softly. “’s why I do it, baby.”

“Worth every fuckin’ penny.”

You sit in the post-orgasm haze for a few seconds, waiting for the room to stop spinning and your body to feel like yours again. You pull the phone from your sweat-stuck cheek and glance at the time. You have less than thirty seconds left. Joel seems to do the same, for his voice returns to your ear in a gentle, low whisper.

“Alright. Speak soon, angel. Be good.”

The call cuts.

----------

taglist: @slvbl @regalwhovianbrowncoat774 @casa-boiardi @msjarvis @acornacreacure @totallynotastanacc @alejaa-a @aphterthoughtt @pedroluver @earthtogrogu @sexygaypalpatine @cool-iguana @serenaxpedro @lizzyervs @bitchwitch1981 @brittmb115 @stormseyer @scarletthefierce @patti7dc @pattwtf @atticrissfinch @pascalpvnk @lizzyervs @jediknightjana @jessie8605 @iknowisoundcrazy @caitispunk @vickie5446 @mrsquill @uncassettodiricordi @gracieispunk @hellishjoel

(psst! after this weekend my taglist is no more! follow @macfroglets + turn on notifs if you wanna be in the know when i post!)

[mehkers]

First Day of School! …in the human realm!?

Ndfnjfjd- Sitting in my first period while writing this

Basically it’s just how the boy’s first impressions would be from another student perspective (not Mc).

Warnings: Cursing, none rlly

It takes place in a high school environment

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lucifer

Edgy mf

People would look at him and just know that he probably listens to MCR

Rbf the entire time

I think he’s already gained some frown lines

Def gives off ‘I’m better than you puny creatures’

Always reached his classroom on time (or earlier)

All the girls love him, and their boyfriends hate him

Is quite polite when you talk with him, but his annoyed expression says otherwise

Mammon

IM TOO YOUNG AND HOT TO BE STUCK IN PRISON

Shuts up when he gets punched by Lucifer

He gets along with everyone easily

The loudest in the class… possibly the entire school

Wearing designer clothes, so he attracts a lot of attention

Is always lost

Man doesn’t know how to read a map

He’s already made a bunch of friends

Loves school but hates the studying part (Me too Mamms 😔)

Leviathan

Save him please

His gloomy vibes is spreading to everyone

The amount of Ruri-Chan keychains he has on his bag is making too much noise

THIS IS NOT A SUITABLE ENVIRONMENT FOR A SHUT-IN OTAKU

He had to have his ass dragged by Beel who was also carrying Belphie

He is extremely shy and jumpy

Will stick to himself to entire time

Buuuut, as soon as he sees any anime merch- He’s surprisingly louder than Mammon

He wouldn’t have much friends, but he’s at least made an effort to talk to some people

Satan

Sighs

He gives Dr. Ratio vibes (hsr ref)

Look at all these peasants- WAIT IS THAT A DETECTIVE NOVEL YOU’RE READING!?

You all know it, I don’t even have to say it.. He’s in the library

I can only imagine his devastation when he sees the ‘library’ at my school

If it’s a good library, like an actual library, bro is gonna have the biggest and brightest smile the entire day that it actually becomes a bit creepy

If it’s a lame-ass library, like barely any books, you’d look at him from across the hallway and think he killed a person

Would throw a fit (I would know, cuz I did too)

He’s very charming, so all the ladies would def keep their eyes on him

He’s befriended the students, the teachers, the staff, the janitor, the PRINCIPAL-

Asmodues

Oh hun, he’s already the queen bee and center of all the drama in school

Everyone’s insecure when they see his pretty ass strutting down the halls

Not even the school air can get him

Dude already has all the scoop (he may or may not have been the reason for most it)

People would probably look at him and think ‘Oh.. he’s that popular type..”

But when they talk to him, he’s actually super sweet!

Just uh.. ignore how many students he’s already kissed ._.

Beelzebub

Tallest mofo there

Is constantly being stopped and complimented cause of his height

He’s not reserved or shy, he just doesn’t talk much

He’s the one guy who has a whole snack stall in his backpack

His locker is just filled with snacks

He is rocking gym class and/or weight training class

He’s made friends with all the jocks

Everyone’s scared of him after seeing him go on a hunger rampage when the cafeteria didn’t give him enough food-

Belphegor

If you think he’d make an effort to talk to anyone

You’re dead wrong

He’s every teacher’s worst nightmare

Sleeping in every class

Even while he’s walking down the halls

Kept getting in trouble cause of it? but since he’s a little shit, he didn’t care

Everyone mostly stayed clear of him since he gave off the ‘wake me up and your dead’ vibes

He answers every question right tho

Would totally tempt the other students to give into laziness and despair just to mess with them

And to add on to Lucifer’s growing collection of white hair

Hasn’t made any friends by the end of the day

+Bonus~!

Mc

Biggest badass

Literally survived RAD, a human school should be fine

Everyone’s confused and jealous how some random person has the attention of all the 7 new students

Literally untouchable

Talk of the town since they entered the school with the brothers

Don’t even try, you don’t have a chance to get with them

[rory-multifandom-mess]

My Thad Headcanons

Because I'm so totally autism about him, you have no IDEA

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I took this from a fic I read, but Thad runs warm. By this I mean his cooling system likes to malfunction every now and then and he has to throw himself into a bunch of icepacks until it works again. If he overheats, he’ll shut down so it systems can cool down much like a phone would

He's self conscious about his sharp canines, but not in the sense that he’s constantly thinking about it. It’s more like a “if i look at myself in the mirror and see my smile, I’m going to remember they’re there and be like ‘oh. that’s not right.’” Because of his insecurity with his sharp teeth, he refuses to go to the dentist

The fact Uzi had a crush on him before meeting N absolutely flew over his head (he’s stupid)

He likes girls AND boys

Ever since the fight with J and V in the pilot, he coughs up oil on occasion. Basically; Worker Drones are stupid and don’t know anything about their own anatomy, so instead of trying to fix the internal damage, they just welded his wounds closed, so now he’s just perpetually internally bleeding

He heals pretty quickly and has a high pain tolerance (entirely because he’s a sports player, and also he heals quick because of the fact he runs warm)

Sometimes he’ll get nightmares about the attack with V and J and also when Solver yonk’d his ass in episode 2. These fucked him up for a little while after and he couldn’t sleep very well, but they’re not as big of a problem anymore

His room is usually surprisingly neat and full of trophies and medals and other various sports memorabilia

Gets really competitive during football matches, but has really good sportsmanship <3 like he’ll be screaming shit during the match and then he’ll lose and to the other team he’s like “good job guys you absolutely rocked it out there, but we’ll beat you next time i’m sure of it >:)” he likes a lil friendly competition

Thad and Lizzy are twins but he’s younger than her by like 2 minutes. She teases him for this. In retaliation, he teases her because he’s taller (by 1 inch)

Sometimes they get in trouble for ‘bullying” each other, but every time they do, Lizzy just says “Siblings are fair game!” and Thad nods

I think he says “no problemo” a lot. He also says other silly phrases like "Okie Dokie Artichokie" and calling things "Rad" and ironically saying" tubular." Lizzy says "This isn't the 80's" and then he responds with "Well the 80s were sick as heck dude so I don't care"

He's a morning person

Listens to highly energetic songs without paying attention to the lyrics, so he’ll listen to the most like. Innapropriate songs without even realizing it just because they’re bops

Gets dating advice from Ron (the drone at the door from episode 2 for those who forget the bg characters)

Yk how people will throw food like popcorn into the air and then catch it in their mouths? yeah he’s really good at that

Sometimes when he can’t sleep he goes out and plays basketball by himself. tires him out so he can eep

Has a nice singing voice, but he doesn’t think he does (i’m projecting)

He doesn’t like to swear, but sometimes jokingly says “I will swear word at you” to his friends

If he’s holding something, he’ll start idly just flip it in the air and catch it over and over. subconsciously too, he just does that

He also plays Soccer and Basketball

Sometimes when someone grabs him unexpectedly, he’ll flinch a little (thanks solver). This usually only happens if he’s been spacing out or doesn’t see the person who grabbed him at first

Chill until someone messes with Lizzy. Then he will fight. Though she’s one of the popular girls so it doesn’t happen often

Weak to flirting; he gets flustered easily. Yet he’s a total flirt when he likes someone and is comfortable enough around them

I like to think Thad gets hurt a lot because he’s a fucking football player and usually he doesn’t get it fixed because it’s normal, but Lizzy and/or Uzi will yell at him to get it fixed because it could fuck with the strength of his casing

One time Thad said “Bite me” to Uzi and she just looked at him like a smug cat while he had a moment

Sometimes he’ll try to hide in his collar when he’s flustered (it never works)

He, Lizzy, and Doll were a trio of best friends (Until Doll's Solver infection started getting really bad and began distancing herself from the other two)

[vintagerpg]

Hey! HEY! This is my book, Monsters, Aliens, and Holes in the Ground, coming to a bookstore near you on October 10, 2023 thanks to MIT Press. Pre-orders are live now pretty much everywhere, though I recommend using Bookshop.org, as I have been impressed at their packaging skillz. I have a real live copy of the book in my possession and I gotta say, it’s pretty neat.

What is the book? It’s a look at the history and development of tabletop RPGs, one product at a time, arranged in chronological order across five decades. It’s sort of like this Instagram feed, actually, but way more polished, and, you know, on paper. I covered the classics, but this is also very much an exercise in expanding horizons — I hope there is at least one game featured for every reader that they never heard of. To that end, there are lots of lesser known games, weird games, silly games, even a couple board games. All pulled from my collection, all illustrated with something like 350 photographs.

There’s original art, too. Kyle Patterson did the amazing cover, somehow transforming my deeply silly post-it sketch (last slide) into a canny encapsulation of the RPG experience. He did a two-page spread introducing each decade, and effortlessly capturing its essence. He also did a handful of gorgeous spot illustrations. All of Kyle’s art makes me low-key angry. How dare he be so talented? I’ll share more of it, and some sketches, later on. You’ll be annoyed by his talent, too, I guarantee.

We (that’s myself and Derek Kinsman, who did the layout) also filled some empty spots with rights-free art from Amanda Lee Franck, evlynmoreau and natetreme, which is pretty rad - Amanda did the wizard van in the next to last slide - and also some Giovanni Battista Piranesi, cuz that dude had aesthetic for days.

And there you go, a first taste of 450-something pages of full-color RPG goodness. Go snag a copy now, yea? (Worth noting, this is the Standard edition. I’ll show you the Deluxe edition tomorrow.)