#this is based on a convo from months and months ago

[kaleidemaran]

do you see. do you see my vision

[cheesiedomino]

Second Chances ꙳ ੭ * ‧

synopsis: your old situationship from many years ago just moved back in town and of course, he has to text you. but it’s not just any normal text — he’s asking you out on a proper date this time. will you give a second chance to Cupid? or will you be left here feeling stupid?

genre: lee minho x fem!reader | exes (??) to lovers wc: 4.6k tags/warnings: fluff, some light angst, slightly suggestive but nothing srs, mild cursing, kissing, small mentions of crying T-T

now playing 🎧: from the start by laufey

[this is part of my valentine’s series where i write a short story for each member surrounding themes of love, newfound romance, relationship hardships & more.]

“Why don’t you give Tinder a try already? I’m sick of hearing you nagging all day about being lonely!” Areum abruptly suggests mid-convo , resting her palm on the side of her face.

As you both casually wait for the food to arrive, you end up on the dreadful topic of dating again. You got into a real heated discussion with her, sitting in a booth at this new restaurant one of your coworker’s recommended. It wasn’t super well known but they wouldn’t stop raving about how delicious their breadsticks were. The place wasn’t too jam packed but definitely had a decent amount of people. What you weren’t anticipating on was seeing dozens of couples here, it kind of threw your whole vibe off since it only reminded you of your current sad relationship status. Maybe you were putting far too much thought into it but everything seemed so highly unfair. Glaring in envy while they all happily rub in your face that they’ve found their forever companion.

Life really can be cruel at times.

“You can’t be for real right now..” you instantly side eye your friend from across the table. Feeling personally triggered whenever she mentions online dating. You refuse to try it, never wanting to partake in such a vain concept where you swipe left and right based solely on looks. “That’s not the same as real romance. I want to meet someone naturally, wanna tell my kids when they grow up how I met their dreamy, hunk of a father in aisle 39 at Whole Foods.”

One could say it’s almost pathetic in a way— this burning desire you harbor within, longing for a pure, quaint, and beautiful love. Constantly catching yourself daydreaming about finding your life partner, the person you’re going to marry and possibly create an eternal family with. That day has yet to come unfortunately, but you still hold onto the thought of you someday meeting the one.

You thought you found them before, but thou shalt not speak thy names out into existence.

“Well, good luck finding ‘real romance’ in the big age of 2024-” Areum snorts in amusement, taking a pause to sip on her mango strawberry lemonade. “I need whatever drugs you’re on that’s making you this delulu so I can fantasize about my knight and shining armor that’s never coming!”

God you hate that word. Delulu. Why are you suddenly “delusional” for wanting a picture perfect romance? It doesn’t need to be perfect per se, but you want to feel adored, swept off your feet and embraced like the true queen you are. Was that too much to ask? Considering the current state of dating in this day and age, it might just be.

“I mean, let’s face it girl. You literally don’t know the first thing about love ___, it’s not all sunshine and rainbows like in the K-dramas y’know! Haven’t you only had like one boyfriend in high school? You barely even dated that guy for a month-”

“That’s because he dumped me to go move to LA and become a dumb YouTuber!” You snapped back, cutting her off to get all the facts straight.

It was hard not to grimace while thinking of such old memories. Dating a Minecraft streamer definitely had to be one of the most embarrassingly cringe choices you’ve ever made.

“Whatever that’s beside the point. What I’m trying to get at here is you don’t have the best track record when it comes to men. Remember that other guy you were seeing before we graduated? I thought y’all would’ve dated for sure but he turned out to be a dickhole just like the rest of ‘em…” Areum shakes her head in disbelief, recalling all those times you’d call in a frenzied panic about things not working out.

“What was his name again? Min… Minwoo? No, that’s not it.. it was definitely Min something.” She attempts on remembering but keeps drawing a blank.

“Minho.” You answer almost instantaneously. His name still rolled off the tongue smooth as velvet.

It felt weird though. Saying it out loud after so many years of blocking it from your immediate vocabulary. A name you thought would never escape your lips again.

“Damn, you really still think about him don’t you?” She dares to ask, knowing how difficult it is for you to even talk about this anymore.

You only respond by nodding slowly, unable to bring yourself to look at her. It was far too intense; bearing the emotions of hurt and guilt from a past fling that meant more to you but nothing to the other. That’s how most of your tragic stories end— always too overly into them while they barely reciprocate any of that energy towards you. The thing is, you thought Minho actually liked you, even so far as wanting to date in the near future. Considering he brought you over his parent’s house (to hook up of course), and though you didn’t meet them you still think that meant something. Most men don’t just bring any woman they’re seeing to their parent’s place without somewhat thinking a potential relationship could happen down the line.

“So that’s why you should download Tinder and start swipin’ on some other cuties! It’ll at least distract you for a bit and get your mind off that asswipe,” Areum pitches her idea once more, “there’s plenty other fish in the sea ___. Not everyone online is some crazy serial killer, plus you clearly don’t seem to be having much luck out in the real world.”

You wanted to jump up from the table and erase that smirk from her face but instead you roll your eyes at that last remark. “I don’t need those shitty dating apps. I’m very capable of finding someone in real life for your information!” You quickly retort as a means to defend yourself. Even though she did have a point, her delivery could’ve been a little bit nicer.

It’s not easy being a hopeless romantic, you can’t help but yearn for that special someone to enter your life and change it for the better. You won’t feel wholly satisfied nor complete until you do. The sad reality of the matter was that you are still painfully single. No one’s interesting enough to cease your attention, let alone go on any actual dates. Areum’s had enough of your bitching and whining though, there’s only so many rants and tirades she can keep listening to about your vicious hatred for men before she loses it completely. Your nonexistent love life has become more of a nuisance as that time of year approaches— Valentine’s Day. A god forsaken holiday you’ve always loathed with a passion. Wanting nothing more than to be one of those girls on the receiving end getting flowers and chocolates. A day full of the utmost joy and pleasant surprises from your loving significant other.

Must be nice..

Speaking of surprises.. The buzzing in your ear echoes from your phone pinging loudly, indefinitely startling you. Grabbing it to check the sudden notification, your eyes go absurdly wide at the contact name displayed on your screen. Blinking numerous times from shock, you stare at your phone in incredulity; making sure your eyes weren’t playing tricks on you.

Lee Minho. The Lee Minho?

What kind of sorcery is being conjured where the instant you bring him up, he somehow texts you after all these years of not speaking? This coincidence was more than unsettling to you. A part of your inner thoughts still believes this is all some elaborate joke being played on you, waiting for a cameraman to pop out of some curtain to announce you’ve just been pranked. But nothing happens, life proceeds as normal. Now you’re left with the most puzzling notification you might’ve ever received.

It was your last year of college and the pressure of your academics along with appeasing your family was getting to you immensely. You needed an escape from all of it, desperately. Which you found through none other than Lee Minho, the boy who worked as a barista at Cozmo’s; this coffee shop you used to frequent a lot. It was a cute, small family-owned establishment and they made the best matcha lattes— in your humble opinion. You’d pick one up almost every day along with a slice of freshly baked cinnamon bread. It started off as only playful banter with him in the beginning, then it lead to more as time went on. One day, as you reached out to pay he blocked your hand from moving any closer, letting you freely walk away without spending a dime. This soon became a regular occurrence, as you’d start seeing Minho outside of work, getting to know more and more about him. You remember so desperately wanting to date back then, pitying your past self for thinking there was even a chance.

‘Maybe he’s just texted the wrong person’ you psyche yourself into thinking, but when you unlock your phone to finally read the message — an uncomfortable lump forms in the pit of your throat.

Minho 🐈:

Hey is this still ___’s number?

You honestly don’t know why you still have his number saved, let alone allowing a whole emoji to be next to it. Though it never was like you to delete anything, no matter how painful it may have been. More lingering questions makes you want to seek out the possible solutions. Why would he text you of all people ? None of this adds up in your mind realistically. Furrowing your brows in concentration, you think of what to say as you draft out a response.

Yes… who’s this?

After a tedious struggle of typing out multiple paragraphs and immediately deleting them, you went over your words a few more times before sending a final reply. It would’ve been strange had you knew exactly who he was off the bat, that’ll just be dead giveaway you still had his contact info saved this whole time. But with that logic, doesn’t that make Minho just as odd for still keeping your number after all this time has passed?

Your phone dings again.

Minho 🐈:

Srsly -_-

Did you really delete my number??

Bet he didn’t see that one coming. He probably thought the moment he texts you, you were gonna kiss up to him like you’ve always done in the past. Mentally giggling to yourself at the image of him getting flustered by you not knowing who he was at first. Feels good to know you knocked his confidence down a peg.

Lol, chillax.. I know it’s you Minho :P

Not even a minute later, a flood of incoming messages appear. Biting your lip out of nervousness, your heart couldn’t stop beating so fast— anxiously checking your phone as the atmosphere around you suddenly gets stuffier.

Minho 🐈:

Better be lucky I didn’t block you after that ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ

Guess who’s back in the city btw. Did ya miss me? ;)

No need to answer that, I already know you did. You should stop by at Cozmo’s again sometime!

Also what’re you up to this week? I need you to clear out all your plans because I’m taking you out on a date.

You always knew Minho was the bold type but this was on another level. The sheer audacity he has to even ask something like this after not reaching out for almost 3 years was more than ballsy on his part. It felt like a surge of butterflies erupting in your stomach, getting lightheaded as you think about seeing him again. He really had an effect on you like no other.

Glancing up from your screen to finally pay attention to Areum again, you assure her everything’s going to be just fine. “Looks like I won’t be needing to download Tinder after all.”

Later on that day you ended up going to Cozmo’s and meeting up with Minho. It never really took much convincing from him to get you to budge, though it was a hell of a lot worse back then. You used to blindly follow along with anything he said just to seek his approval, hoping that eventually he’ll see you as the girl he wants to settle down with. Alas, nothing ever blossomed into something more, and you knew deep down that this was headed nowhere— but that still didn’t stop you from fantasizing about a future with him. Getting lost into deep thought, head heavy in the clouds as you imagine the idea of Minho confessing his undying love for you. You’ll be so caught off guard as he gets down on one knee, looking at you with the entire solar system in eyes while he proposes in the most charming way. It really is pitiful how much you still daydream about a guy who wasn’t your boyfriend but would constantly act like he was, then up and leaves without mentioning a single word about it.

You convinced yourself he ran off with someone else to have a better life with, even hearing through town gossip that he’s moved to South Korea to pursue becoming an idol. Whatever the case may be it still weighed heavily on your mind that he never bothered to tell you anything, even a simple ‘goodbye’ would’ve sufficed the empty hole in your heart. The main reason you agreed on meeting up with Minho was to finally ask, why? Why did he pretend to like you? Why did he act like your boyfriend when he never had intentions on seriously dating? Why was he so good at making you fall so hard for him..?

“You look great.” You subconsciously blurt out, affixed in a daze as you stare in awe at the man in front of you.

It’s been a while since you came here— never able to fully bring yourself to try and go back. Though you knew this place first, and they really did have the best Mactha lattes in the universe. It reminded you too much of him and you sadly had to let it go.

You weren’t proud of it but you did go home quickly to change clothes and redo your makeup. Usually you wouldn’t care but this was the only guy you’ve been consistently crushing on for years, you had to feel good inside and out. Minho was just as gorgeous as you remembered, if not he looked even more ethereal — which seemed impossible in itself already. He’s grown up so beautifully, his facial features became more sharp, especially his jawline which looks so defined and sculpted by the Gods.

Minho lightly chuckles at your timidness, some things just never change. “You look way better.” His lips drew into a faint smirk as he admires your presence.

He meant every word of what he said, you looked really good, and it was making him even more frustrated that so much time has passed. Regretting the way he handled things so many years ago, wishing he could take it all back and do everything differently. Seeing you again made it easier for Minho to suppress the guilt he’s borne for so long. This moment feels like a second chance to make amends for his past mistakes.

You couldn’t help but blush when you hear his compliment, feeling your ears grow hot as you look at the ground. There was a silent pause between you that lasted for what seemed like ages. Weirdly enough the conversation flowed well after he finally broke the awkwardness, the chemistry was overall still there and were able to pick up right where it left off.

“I’m so glad you came ___, I’ve been dying to see you since I got here. I’m surprised you even still responded to my lame ass.”

Minho’s light confession puzzles you. If he really was dying to see you, why’d he wait so long to get in contact with you? To be fair, you don’t know the exact time he came back.

“Oh, is that so? When’d you come back? Also show me pics of Korea, I’ve always wanted to know what it’s like there.” You fondly inquire, leaning against the side of the wall as he’s still behind the counter. He mentioned to you he’s only working part time because his parents would rather mooch off their son for free labor than to hire and pay a new employee.

“Yesterday,” he quickly states before taking out his phone to scroll through his gallery, “guess my sister must’ve told you I went there huh?”

You shook your head, “Nah, I haven’t talked to Elle in a while. She’s tried hitting me up a few times though.. but I found out through Areum ‘cause she was seeing Hoseok back then.”

They were definitely “seeing” each other alright, but mostly in the bedroom. Areum didn’t want anything exclusive with Hoseok and neither did he, it was the perfect friends with benefits situation. Minho and Hoseok were good friends who’ve known each other for a while, so naturally he’d tell Areum everything and overshare at some point.

“Agh, there’s a customer gotta take this. One sec, sorry!” He briefly apologizes before bringing his attention to the new person heading inside. You nod, signaling he’s good to go. “I’ll be waiting over there,” you point to a small wooden table with 2 chairs in a corner.

Once Minho comes back you notice he’s no longer wearing his purple work apron; back in his regular attire now and sporting an oversized dark grey hoodie that was three times too big. He was holding a large cup with green liquid and a paper bag in his hand, that’s when it clicks for you— he still remembers your favorite meal.

He’s grinning the whole time he’s handing you the matcha latte and cinnamon pastry, smiling from ear to ear like a kid on Christmas Day. This was the most you’ve seen him be so enthusiastic about something, even back when you were “with” him you can’t recall him beaming with such energy like this.

“Awh, thank you. I haven’t had either one of these in years!” You wanted to give him the biggest hug but you refrained from doing so, feeling as though it may be too early for that.

“Of course dear, anything for you.”

Why does everything he says have to make you melt from the inside out? It’s not fair! >:(

Glancing down at your yummy beverage, you see a message written on the side of the glass with bold permanent sharpie. Tilting your head to read it, the words are bit jumbled together but you get the gist. You’re almost left speechless after it reads: ‘___, Will you be my valentine?’

Your most dreaded and least favorite holiday is here, yippee! But, there’s a twist on this year’s turn of events; you actually have someone to celebrate this wretched tradition with. You should be excited but all you’re feeling is the sudden urge to vomit as you were nervous out of your mind. This was kind of weird to you, going on a date with your ex boyfriend who was never even your real boyfriend. Looking back on it now you shouldn’t have tolerated a relationship dynamic like that, Minho was clearly taking advantage of your passiveness by not explicitly saying what he wanted. On the contrary, you had no one to blame but yourself, you never spoke up or criticized anything even if it didn’t coincide with your personal morals.

The fact he never took you on an actual date until now speaks volumes, you obviously didn’t have enough self worth back to demand better treatment. It took you years of figuring out what a real, healthy relationship is supposed to be like through trials of therapy and that was an emotional rollercoaster in itself. All your uncertainties soon faded away once you became more secure and knew exactly what you wanted for yourself. It took every ounce of patience and acceptance to unlearn all your bad coping mechanisms and other toxic behaviors that were only stunting your inner growth. You’re happy to be in a position now where you’re able to express wholeheartedly what you deserve, it’s the best feeling ever to feel like you’re in control of your own life.

You spent almost 3 hours getting ready and your bedroom now looked like a war zone. The outfit you chose was super girly, a frilly white dress with pink platform heels— Minho’s going to drool in amazement when he sees you. When you sent Areum photos of you before heading out, she responds right way with a series of hearts and other sweet comments— hyping you up to no end like the best friend she is. She’s also able to help pull you out of your doubtful headspace, when you felt unsure if you could really go through with this she quickly psyched you out of it. Reminding you exactly who you are and why you are the prize, not him. ‘He should be the one who’s nervous, not the other way around’ you assure yourself over and over as a mini ego boost.

His jaw dropped when he spotted you walking up to his car, infatuated by how pretty and perfect you looked in every way possible. It angers him so much to know he took all this for granted, he didn’t appreciate all of you the way he should’ve but now he gets another chance to redo everything and right his wrongs. It’s a lot of pressure but he bravely accepts it, he could never mess up another opportunity like this again. The car ride was fairly silent in the beginning, you were vibing in peace as the only thing you could hear was Minho’s soft indie playlist as background music.

You ultimately chose to be the one to speak first, breaking the ice with a simple inquiry about the date. “So where are we going?” Looking out at the scenery from the window, all you is trees and more trees. If it’s something to do with nature you surely don’t want any parts of it, you’ve never been too fond of the wilderness.

“It’s a surprise, I can’t tell you.” He keeps a tight seal on today’s destination without dropping a single hint, forcing you to go completely blind into this. As he goes back to focus on the road, you sigh anxiously after hearing him refuse to disclose anything.

Did he seriously forget what kind of person you are? Anyone who’s close to you at all knows you’ve never been into those types of things. Ever.

“You know I hate surprises Minho,” you remind him, attempting to pry for more information. Even shooting him a doe eyed look along with poking out your bottom lip, but he doesn’t falter.

He simply nods, “I know but you’ll like this one, just have a little bit of faith me.” Flashing an innocent smile at you, he seems to be overly confident in whatever his plan consists of.

After almost half an hour passes the car finally comes to a stop, you scan the area and instantly notice a sense of familiarity among the place. Across from you was an ice cream parlor you thought didn’t exist anymore. But there it is, still standing with dozens of customers waiting in line. The small shop was famously known for its fish-shaped ice cream cones, you’ve always wanted to visit the place and try it when you were a little from seeing it on TV all the time. When you told Minho about it, you said how your parents would say it was too far but it actually closed down and they didn’t know how to tell you. From time to time you’d still think about that place, but you would’ve never thought they relocated. Being here with Minho brings an indescribable amount of happiness to your spirit.

“I mentioned this place like one time in passing, how’d you even remember?” You wonder in amazement, after all these years he still remembers something as minuscule as this.

“It may not have seemed like it but I paid attention to every little detail you told me ___, all it. Of course I know you don’t like surprises but how else would I have been able to take you here?” He sweetly expresses to you, not wanting to hold back anymore.

You wanted to cry right here, right now. All your emotions came crashing down at once and it’s hard to keep them concealed. A lot has changed within these years, things feel so different with him now, especially with how much he’s matured. You notice how he doesn’t act like the typical fuckboy in his early 20’s anymore, he’s much more interested in getting to know only person — that being you.

“I’ve rehearsed this in my head like a million times and I don’t think I’ll ever say it the right way I want but it’s time I start being as transparent as possible with you…” Minho takes a deep breath before continuing, “I’ve always liked you ___, from the start actually,” he keeps going, “I was just scared, of what I don’t know.. Commitment maybe?”

Slightly looking in another direction, your vision faintly blurs from tears welling up, “I- I honestly don’t know what to say..”

“Then don’t say anything at all, I don’t need you to. I may not know the first thing about how to love someone, but I want to learn all of it with you.” He feels all the remorse of leaving you alone for all these years, unable to process the pain you must’ve endured at him not getting into contact with you. “I’m so sorry ___. For everything, I’m going to make it all better I promise.”

Your eyes subconsciously flutter shut when he comes in contact with you. Connecting in perfect symmetry with your lips to sync together in motion. His gentle hands cupped your face delicately; his touch was so warm and inviting. Your fingers were deeply tangled in his brunette locks, relishing every minute as he tilts his head to capture more of you. He genuinely couldn’t believe he went this long without kissing these luscious lips again. His tongue grazed the bottom of your lip to subtly ask for entry and you comply. Dopamine floods both your senses like a series of fireworks going off, feeling intoxicated by each other’s taste. It was probably that vanilla bean chapstick you always wore— an old favorite of his and is still your go-to flavor of choice. He wanted to savor you in this moment for as long as he could, cherish the fact he has you in his hold again.

“Want to know something funny?” He asks out of nowhere, still smirking from that heated kiss that just happened seconds ago.

“Hm?”

“You’re the reason I ended up coming back here.” Minho states bluntly, no hesitation detected in his voice whatsoever.

You struggle to comprehend anything, overwhelmed by all his sudden confessions. “What do you mean?”

“I mean I never want to leave your side ever again ___. I’m staying here with you, I already made the biggest mistake of losing you once I can’t let the same thing happen twice.” He spoke tenderly from the bottom of his heart, it felt so genuine you couldn’t not believe him.

Going back to rewind time isn’t possible, but “do-over’s” are, and sometimes we’re able to get those second chances to make things right when we get them wrong the first time.

[End <3].

[queerponcho]

Transfixed | part 1

collage made by me with pictures from pinterest

moonknight!system x female!reader

a/n: been writing this fic for about a year now so it's nerve-wrecking to finally post the first chapter. I hope you'll like it!! (pls be gentle...)

thanks to the lovely @nexusnyx for motivating me a few weeks ago, would've never considered posting without having our convo the other day!! Thank you so much<33

Warnings: no use of Y/N, fluff, NOT beta read, gushing about the moonboys, flustered awkward dorks, plot-twists, (eventual smut, the chapters will be marked individually), inaccurate depictions of DID, egyptian mythology and religion (although I did extensive research I took liberty in changing some things to adhere to my plot...), if I missed anything or made any spelling mistakes pls don't hesitate to tell me!

Summary: You're a woman who as been visiting the same library for all your life. One day a handsome new face comes walking in. That's the moment when the ball starts rolling and your entire life changes. Will you accept the new challanges coming your way...?

2,200 words

You have been visiting the same library all your life. While you were in school you  would go there to have a quiet place to study. Since at home you always had a lot of family and busy energy around, you needed the library as sort of an...escape from all the noise. Later when you got into university, the library had become kind of a safe space for you. So you would rather sit in the bus for half an hour to and back to study there instead of the grimy and packed library on campus.

Even now that you work and have enough books at home to basically open your own library, you still can't part from your little paradise. Everyone knows you here and a few months ago the owners of the library even adopted a cat that seemed to really like you. So chances of moving on from here had definitely been ruined.

You loved reading all kinds of story based books, but spending so much time here made you curious, so you also picked up a few skill based ones. you had read a few gardening and science books but the ones you would actually start applying were the books that had to-do with art. Autobiographies of different artists and painters, different studies and research on colour and brushes. You became almost a bit obsessed at some point. So you started sketching and drawing things around you based on the knowledge you'd gathered from your extensive research. you would draw people around the library after work or before meeting friends in the nearby café. You'd never claim to be an artist but you were proud of your drawings nonetheless. for the past few weeks you had started to draw one very specific person. You saw them for the first time a bit over a month ago…

It was a rainy day and you'd just finished lunch with a friend. You said goodbye and you decided to head to the library to continue on with your sketches of the cute ginger kitten. After saying hello to the owners and giving the kitten a treat, you made your way to your usual corner in the back. Since the library wasn't very big you had a good view of the entrance and a few tables. you'd been sitting and drawing for about ten minutes when you noticed the kitten smelling your coat pocket in search of more treats. You smiled down at her 'hiiii kitty!' you picked her up and placed her on your little round table. 'you want another treat huh?' She looked back with big shiny eyes 'alright alright...there you go'. She happily chewed on the fish-shaped cookie while you continued drawing her. 

The familiar noise of the door opening caught your attention....a man came in, he was wearing a brown flat-cap which was obscuring your vision of his face. He reached to take it off with a gloved hand and pushed his black curls back to reveal the face, of what you could only describe, a Greek god. He had strong and angular features, a sharp jawline and a beautiful slightly crooked nose which you felt the need to trace over with your finger. He had crows feet decorating his eyes, you'd assume he had them from laughing but seeing his resting facial expression, smiling almost seemed to be a foreign task to him. He brushed the remaining rain off his shoulders and made his way to the history section. When he disappeared behind a shelf you were brought back from your trance and took the first breath in what seemed like minutes. 

You wondered what he would be looking for in the history section of this old library. You were in London, a place with alot of people, then again this library was old and in a secluded part of town so it was usually the same people walking in and out. You would definitely remember his face if you had seen it before. Whatever it was that he was looking for he had apparently found since he was making his way to the register with a thick leather bound book in his glove covered hand. You had a bit of a thing for hands and you knew you'd be sketching hands for the next few hours because of this stranger. He hastily left the library and was gone as fast and suddenly as he appeared. After that day you couldn't stop drawing that pretty stranger, you'd given him multiple names during this time. His name had been Jack, Edward, Steve, Malcom and many more. you'd started just drawing his gloved hands and his forearms but quickly you would switch to drawing his intense gaze and soft curls. The amount of times you fantasised about running your fingers through them and tugging slightly had you embarrassed. It had been weeks since you'd seen him and you wouldn't stop imagining him in your apartment just sitting next to you, sometimes you would also imagine him a bit closer and wearing a little less clothing…

A month had passed since you'd seen him and you finally managed to stop drawing him and went back to drawing people around the library. Though you still looked up when the door opened and a new customer came in hoping for your handsome stranger to come in and maybe stay a little this time so you could find out more about him and his movements, for drawing references of course...nothing else. It seemed the universe wanted to help you out, because the next time the bell chimed and a customer walked in, the familiar brown flat-cap wearing stranger entered. This time it was warm and sunny outside so he wasn't wearing any gloves and wore a white fitted polo. His muscles were visibly moving underneath the fabric of his sleeves when he reached up to take off his hat and ruffle through his hair with the same intention as last time. He was also holding the same thick leather bound book from his last visit to the library.

 According to the owners he couldn't buy that one since it was rare literature, so he got to borrow it for a month...you knew this because you may have asked about him and his purchase after he left. This was also when you found out that the book he borrowed was about an Egyptian god. During your time in this library you have read books on Egyptian history and it did peak your interest. All this time you’d never even noticed that book before? Recently, you’d been spending a lot more time studying in that part of the library, so overseeing such a unique looking book was very strange of you.

You see him talking to the owners, it was quiet enough to make out parts of the conversation. It was 10am on a Tuesday so you were pretty much the only customer here. He had a pretty strong Latin accent and you were pretty sure he was from mexico. part of your family is from south America so you grew up learning Spanish and you remember hearing them speak English with that exact same accent. 

He was thanking them for the book and asking if he could take a look around the library again. The owners kindly told him to go ahead and that he didn't even need to ask. He briefly nodded his head mumbling a quick 'gracias' and went over to the history section. You watched intently and spontaneously decided to head in the same direction. You felt a bit creepy lurking on this man but you were sure you wouldn't get caught since you were rarely a very visible person. it's not that you didn't have a strong presence but you know how to blend in really well and when to use that to your advantage. You hid behind the shelf of the history section facing his profile. He really was a pretty man, his eyes were squinting and his bold eyebrows furrowed. There was a stray curl hanging over them and you badly wanted to brush it back and feel his thick hair between your fingers...you couldn't of course, since you were too preoccupied drawing him at the moment. The window was creating beautiful shadows beneath his hooded eyes and high cheekbones. His jaw looked sharper than ever and his neck extremely kissable. His lips needed an honourable mention, they were like two squishy pillows that were begging to be bitten. You've been paying special interest to them and trying to get the details just right, so you didn't notice that he had moved from his previous spot. 

You couldn't see him anywhere and were actually kind of disappointed to think he probably left. you were about to turn around and go back to your discarded belongings when you accidentally bumped into someone while moving backwards. 'ohssshit! i- i am so so sorry um- i didn't mean to wal-'

you had managed to pick up your pencil, sketchbook, and hopefully all of the scattered pages- when you finally looked up just to be faced with the god-like looking man you had been fawning over for a month now. he was practically towering over you and… was that a smirk? If you weren't already kneeling on the floor right now you would've probably lost your balance. 'hola~ I don't mind this view but do you need help standing up, muñeca?' This is when you realised that you were on your knees in front of the most attractive man you have ever seen and you quickly scrambled to your feet 'nono um thank you-' 

'Jake, my name's Jake' he stuck out his hand and you introduced yourself after thanking him again. So his name was jake...huh pretty basic for a man like him. You were kind of joking when you temporarily gave him very basic names but you guess his parents weren't much more creative than you are. 

You realised you were staring when he raised his left eyebrow and started grinning.

 'So...why were you spying on me?' He asked cockily and it had you word-vomiting all over the place 'what? i wasn't-? I-I was just…drawing-?' pretty hard to sound convincing when finishing every statement with a question mark... 'yeah I know-' he looked you up and down and coming a bit closer 'I saw you get lost in your notebook and I just had to come see what you are drawing that garnered all of your precious attention, hermosa' 

The nicknames were really starting to get to you, making you feel all sweaty and nervous. you were clenching the book to your chest accidentally pushing up your breasts and making your cleavage much more noticeable. you saw him glancing down, taking his time in bringing his eyes back up your neck and finally to your face. This entire time you were basically pressed into his chest, you were leaning on the shelf and he didn't seem like he wanted to move anytime soon 'h-how long were you looking over my shoulder exactly?'

 'Long enough to see what had you so...como se dice...transfixed' Your breath hitched and he answered with a toothy grin. 

'I am flattered, preciosa. I really am, didn't think someone as pretty as you would follow me around the library just to draw my hands and ass' 

You push him back- 'I did NOT draw your ass! I-' You were interrupted by his chuckle and him moving closer again and grabbing your chin between his fingers and caging you in with his other arm. 'I know muñeca , I just like seeing you flustered...toda nerviosilla...it's cute.' At this point you’ve decided it's best if you just don't speak. '...maybe next time you can draw me shirtless? I would love to see you solely focused on my abs for half an hour.' He flashes you a toothy grin. Oh he’s getting too cocky…somehow you manage to move away from the bookshelf, momentarily getting even closer to him. After seeing his eyes flicker with surprise you move to the side, backing away from him. Turn around finally being able to take a breath of normal air that wasn't deliciously tinted with his aftershave. 

'Sure, next time you can waltz into the library without a shirt on and we will see how far you get before being kicked out' you say while looking over your shoulder. 

 'Seeing your reaction would be worth it, nena' he called after you, not even registering your feet carrying you back to your corner. you took a deep breath replaying what just happened. He should not have this effect on you, it's almost embarrassing how easily he got so close to you. You are a grown woman, damnit! How did you not shove him away and get mad at his advances? You should be creeped out but you notice how you’re wishing to bump into him again soon...you hear the doorbell ring and see him walk out. He takes one look back and holds up a piece of paper. ‘Oh fuck me’ you feel your feet glued to the floor when you see what it is…its a drawing you made of him. It was a closeup of his torso upwards. You had drawn him from above and he was laying in your bed with heavy lidded eyes and parted lips. you were absolutely mortified- he was grinning like an idiot and winked at you before storing the drawing in his back pocket, crossing the street and vanishing from your eye-line. leaving you in the library, plagued by his stupid masculine scent and his dumb pretty face.

a/n: I really hope you enjoyed the first chapter, I've got a few already locked and loaded sooo the next one should be posted soon. Pls like and reblog if you liked it<3 it would mean the world!

part two

[exitpursuedbyavulcan]

What is Broken (Aemond Targaryen x Pregnant Wife!Reader) SNEAK PEEK

The war, the "Dance of the Dragons," as they have come to call it, is over. And yet, you are not celebrating. You have just learned that your husband, Prince Aemond, spent the last months of the war with another woman in his bed. Not only that, but his mistress is pregnant. Just like you...

Pairing: Aemond Targaryen x fem!reader (third person, no use of Y/N), side Aemond Targaryen x Alys Rivers

Warnings: Angst, pregnancy and related symptoms, infidelity, maybe smut in the future idk

Author's note: Ok well since Studious came out of me trying to power through my writer's block, hopefully this'll not only be as good, but also work as well for kicking writer's block's ass. Idk how long it's gonna be. It's based on a convo I had with the Aemond AI (made by @foxyanon ) on a day when I just didn't feel like being happy at all. Coming soon (I hope)!

What is Broken Sneak Peek

It was a lovely night in King’s Landing.

There was not a cloud to be seen for miles, and the stars were bright and twinkling. The waters of Blackwater Bay were calm and reflected the full moon as clearly as a freshly polished mirror. Even the wind seemed in a pleasant mood, carrying the sweet scent of spring on its back as it drifted lazily through the windows of the Red Keep.

Every bit of it grated on her heart like a whetstone across dull steel.

The worst night of one’s life should not be so lovely, she thought. It should be terrible. With storms and an angry sea, and perhaps even a raging fire somewhere in the distance.

If the night had been so, she would not have seen it when, only a few moments ago, a massive winged form landed in the fields just outside the city with a lowing wail, the last person she wanted to see strapped to its back. Thankfully, Aemond was far enough away that she could not make him out against the mass of his mount.

The people would cheer him in the streets as he rode toward the castle. The victorious Prince, returning after long months at war, having not only ended the war itself but avenged the deaths of his sister, brother, and his little nieces and nephews.

Daemon Targaryen and his dragon had perished above the God’s Eye, the waters below boiling when their bodies fell into its depths.

With the Rogue Prince gone, the war was swiftly over. Rhaenyra was killed, her last remaining son taken as King Aegon’s ward, and the royal host returned to King’s Landing victorious. Even Cregan Stark had agreed to halt his advance South, redirecting to Harrenhal for peace talks.

Harrenhal. A cursed place, now to be the site of great diplomacy.

Even thinking about the horrible castle was enough to turn her stomach.

A letter detailing exactly what had occurred within those melted stone halls during the war, written by the late Prince Daemon himself, sat on her vanity. A final act of retribution against his soon-to-be killer.

She knew that her husband was only returning home because of the letter.

My dear Princess,

Despite the conflict between our sides of the family, I have always thought you a rather sweet girl. Therefore, it is with the deepest regret that I must now shoulder the burden of informing you of your beloved husband’s improper conduct during this awful conflict…

A pang of nausea shot through her stomach as she remembered the words.

A mistress… some Strong bastard… called Alys, my spies tell me… every night, without fail… from the very first week… another bastard babe in the whore’s witchly womb…

There was a pounding from within her, soft thumps and kicks as the life inside her own womb became unsettled by its mother’s roiling emotions. She laid a hand over her belly, whispering soothing words she did not believe to try and calm it – and herself.

Once, she would never have believed Daemon’s stories. But then word came that, after the final battle, Aemond returned to Harrenhal for less than an hour before he again mounted Vhagar and flew for King’s Landing. It was not like Aemond to make such swift decisions. Nor did it strike her as the action of an innocent man.

When she called for Ser Willis Fell, her heart had been filled with hope that the new Lord Commander of the Kingsguard would dispel her worries. That she had only allowed herself to consider the possibility of Aemond’s infidelity because her mind was addled by her delicate condition.

“My princess, I cannot, in good conscience, tell you a lie…”

She had screamed then. And cried. And possibly thrown things at the Kingsguard, but she couldn’t entirely remember.

All she could remember was how Aemond kissed her on the day he left for Harrenhal. Deeply and passionately. Until she could feel his love for her as clearly as her own heartbeat. Then he knelt before her and placed a single, tender kiss to her belly, to where they had only just learned that their babe grew.

Less than a moon’s turn later, he had taken another woman to his bed, and seeded her, too.

[hearts4leeknow]

pushed away || lee minho (leeknow) x reader

Warning(s): no comfort (at least not in this part), hurtful words unrequited love uses of y/n (pls im sorry idk what leeknow is supposed to call reader) SWEARING!!!

Genre: angst

Summary: you two have been bffs since forever, you two know everything about each other. well not everything.

minho has yet to tell you about the fat crush he has on you, he’s scared it’ll ruin everything so he thinks pushing you away will solve this situation, but it only makes it worse. he ends up loosing his bff the one he loves in the process.

leeknow x reader

!!LOWERCASE INTENDED!!

a/n: just got a random idea based on nothing!

you and leeknow were inseparable, you two told each other everything… well maybe not everything.

what he didn’t tell you is that he liked you, like was an understatement, more like love you. of course he couldn’t tell you what if it ruined years of friendship, what if it makes it awkward what if he gets rejected. he hated rejection and he can’t bare loosing such a precious bond. his feelings for you only surfaced a few months ago, he realized he liked- no loved you when he had gotten extremely sick due to sweating and performing in the rain making him super weak and unable to walk properly due to dizziness. so you took care of him, everyday made him food and soup, tried to make his sick days less cloudy and more sunny, and it worked. you made his worst days still feel happy, that’s when he fell for you and oh boy he fell hard. how was he supposed to handle this, now he gets flustered every time you speak to him he can’t continue like this and he can’t just tell you what if-

“minho hyung” han snapped his fingers in front of minho’s face.

“hi” is all he responded with.

“you were zoning out think about…?” han questioned curious of what his hyung was thinking about.

“oh nothing just spacing out cause you’re to boring” he lied with one of his snarky remarks.

“rude!! i am not boring” han pouted while he flopped onto the couch. you walked in talking to felix.

“min!” you smiled seeing your best friend seated on the couch.

“hi y/n” he returned the smile. felix sat down next to han as those two talked you and leeknow had your own conversation flowing.

oh how leeknow was struggling to keep his composure, you looked so cute in the tight short sleeved shirt with baggy cargos. he felt his face heating up but he was good at hiding it.

“min? are you okay you’re spacing out” you looked concerned and confused. minho usually tells you what’s wrong immediately because he knows he can’t hide it from you, but today he just shook his head.

“min, are you sure you don’t wanna talk about it?” you asked feeling a little hurt that he didn’t want to tell you what was wrong, but you knew if it was something personal you couldn’t force it out.

“i’m just not ready to tell you yet” minho mumbled with a slight frown, he could tell you were upset by it.

“it’s okay take your time” you give him a light smile trying to make him feel at ease. little did you know this would be one of the last real convos you would have with him.

—— 🎀 ——

you 🌷: minnie we haven’t hung out in a while! movie night?

min 🐈: i cant im sorry

you 🌷: how come? we barely hangout anymore..

min 🐈: busy

you 🌷: minho cmon you’ve been saying you’re ‘busy’ for weeks now, what’s wrong?

min 🐈: nothing just want time for myself

you 🌷: ok…

you switched off your phone and flopped down onto your bed.

he’s been ‘busy’ for weeks and he’s saying he wants time to himself but he’s had 3 weeks for that

you thought, you knew there was no way he was just busy or wanted time to himself. wouldn’t he have told you what’s up so you don’t worry? does he not want anything to do with you anymore because he finds being friends with you is embarrassing? it hurt to think about it, now what if that’s what he wanted?

no, it can’t be.

that’s what you kept telling yourself but at the 3 week mark it wasn’t working anymore, you kept getting worried and you felt helpless. you’ve had enough and so you called him…

—— 🎀 ——

ring ring ring…

he picked up his phone seeing your photo as the banner with your name ‘y/n (my love💞)’ he read and he answered.

“minho!” you screeched

“what!” he mirrored the energy

“tell me what’s wrong please? i know it’s not just that your busy or need time to yourself, please!” you begged and pleaded for him to tell you, he wanted to tell you trust me he just didn’t know how.

“i can’t” he didn’t dare say more than that, your pleading voice broke him but what else was he supposed to do?

“minho, i feel like i’ve been pushed to the side by my best friend since childhood, we barley hangout together your always ‘busy’. you’re not telling me something, please?” your voice broke mid sentence, you were at your breaking point.

“no, i can’t always hangout with you! i have a busy idol life unlike you.” minho spewed out in an instant not realizing his words until after.

“what the fuck? minho, im busy too but i always make time for you.” you frown when you hear him lash out.

“whatever, your annoying and just a distraction to me anyways” minho scoffs.

“im-im annoying? ive been your best friend for who knows how long, i’ve always been there for you and now im annoying and just a distraction? wow, i thought you were different, minho. i’ve been trying to drop hints that i like you! but i guess all i am to you is a distraction.” you spill out all the emotions that were inside of me, you were hurt and felt betrayed. “i dont think i wanna talk to you after this.” you say my voice was quiet.

“wait-wait, y/-“ you hung up before minho could finish talking.

——🎀——

as soon as you hung up everything came crashing down on him.

you liked him?

he thought, you liked him back and he ruined everything with his attitude and harsh words. hes hurt the love of his life, how is he supposed to get you back after such words left his mouth? angry tears trickled down his face, this anger wasn’t directed to you though, it was directed to himself. hes messed up, and hes messed up bad.

——FIN——

a/n: i dont know why i decided to post this sosososoossoo late!! im so sorry i havent been active, i havent been feeling well lately. but i promise ill have more stuff up soon! 🤞🏻🤞🏻💞

a/n: @sona1800 IVE LEFT MY POOKS WAITING FOR TOO LONG, im so sorry bby you waited to long and it’s not even that good. i hope you still some what like it 💞💞 (lemme know if i should make a pt2 and if i should make it angst or fluffy 👀👀)

[zhongwans]

How ZZH's Instagram account was compromised

aka the question that's been plaguing us all since last year. But now we have enough info to put together a theory. (As always all this info is thanks to the hard work of QV and her friends. I'm just compiling)

During 813, Xie Yihua's son, Abner, said in a comment on Bilibili that ZZH's instagram account isn't actually his. It was set up by staff when ZZH was still under the management of his former boss, Yu Zheng, and that the phone number that was registered to the account doesn't belong to ZZH.

This means whoever has access to the actual phone number can reset the password and take control of the account.

Also how on earth did Abner know the details of the IG's account's security (or lack thereof)? Did his mother tell him? We already know Xie Yihua is ZSJ's handler.

On June 2020, ZZH posted on his IG after months of inactivity, and in the comments section he thanked a woman named Virginia. We can infer from their convo that he had lost access to the account sometime ago and that this Virginia helped him gain access again.

Based on ZZH's IG activity, he did stop posting for a few months and only started posted there again when he started filming WOH. That's when he thanked this Virginia person.

There's an interesting comment under Flora's tweet saying that when they first read this, their interpretation was that this Virginia helped ZZH gain access to his account by setting up a VPN for him. And I was the same. That's also how I initially interpreted it, that ZZH wasn't able to access his IG because of the Great Firewall. But with all the info that has come to light, it looks more like ZZH was unable to access it because it was set up by someone else, with a number that didn't belong to him. And Virginia probably helped him by contacting whoever it was that had access to the account in Yu Zheng's management.

So if all this time ZZH's IG account was under the control of someone from Yu Zheng's studio, how did it wind up in the hands of ZSJ's team?

Recently, Yu Zheng was seen promoting the hat from ZSJ's brand. (Photos from bluebird and QV)

It's worth noting that Yu Zheng doesn't seem to like ZZH very much. He interacted with a ZZH anti and implied that it's ZZH fault Zhao Ge did not air. So why is Yu Zheng promoting "ZZH's" brand if he doesn't even like him?

The person Yu Zheng interacted with literally has the username 'zzh liar' and is an active ZZH anti.

And for those who don't know what Zhao Ge is, it's the show where Yu Zheng asked ZZH to come back for additional shoots while he was still recovering from his knee injury. This is widely understood to be the reason why ZZH's knee was messed up for good. More details here.

Zhao Ge was already running into problems way before 813. The script had a lot of elements that likely got it into trouble with the censors, plus in December 2020 more than a hundred industry folks signed a letter calling for a boycott against Yu Zheng and another person for being notorious plagiarists and all around shitty human beings. If it's not the script that sank Zhao Ge's chances of airing, then it's Yu Zheng's awful reputation as a plagiarist amongst his peers. Even before 813, the chances of Zhao Ge airing were not looking good.

Yu Zheng was brought to court by Taiwanese author and producer Qiong Yao for plagiarizing one of her novels, and a Beijing court later ruled in her favor. He was ordered to pay her millions. So you know...Yu Zheng is quite literally a criminal. That along with the script is probably why Zhao Ge will never see the light of day. ZZH should actually be the angry one here because his knee was pretty much ruined forever just for a shitty drama that will never even air.

A document that was circulated amongst ZZH fans last year and associated with him can also be linked back to a lawyer that once worked on Yu Zheng's legal counsel. Coincidence? Maybe. But it's interesting how many times his name comes up in relation to ZSJ.

And this is just personal speculation but I wonder if Yu Zheng was pissed when ZZH blew up after he was no longer within his management, and he could no longer reap the benefits of ZZH's fame for himself. Remember during the WOH concert ZZH mentioned that a lot of old friends suddenly came up to him after WOH's success, asking for all sorts of favours and whatnot, and then him apologizing for not being able to attend to them all. Looking back on that, it's interesting that a lot of people involved in the scam had more or less a connection with ZZH in the past. The Chens from the teashop, Xie Yihua, Zhang Su, Xiao Chu Nada, etc. And now Yu Zheng.

So yeah this is it. Yu Zheng's involvement with ZSJ was the last piece of the mystery behind the compromised IG account.

[libraryofloveletters]

The Wavelengths I'd Go For You

Thiago Alcantara x Fem!Reader

Warnings: summer time fluff, thiago is the sweetest boyfriend ever, cheeky teasing and flirting + some remarks from thiago, lots of touchy feely moments, alcohol and the consumption of, a sunset something - you'll see :))

Word Count: 3.1k

Author's Note: the fact that I had to search soooo deep for this gif is a crime // based on a convo @curiousthyme and I had about how sweet husband thiago would be so to the 6 thiago fans out there, this one's for you

---

The sunshine in Mallorca welcomed you, a way of telling you that you were home in every sense of the word.

You and your boyfriend, Thiago, were spending a week there before heading up to see his family. You had been on the go constantly for the last few months with Thiago's game schedule and your work projects so this time away was much welcomed.

It's barely 10am when your boyfriend comes back into the bedroom, flopping down onto the bed next to you. "Mi amor, despierta," (my love, wake up) he whispers into your ear, his chin on your shoulder.

You shrug your boyfriend off of you, pulling the duvet over your head. "Alejarse de mí," (get away from me) you grumbled from under the blanket, making him laugh.

"C'mon babe," he nudges your arm and you finally give in, pulling the blanket down to look over at him.

Thiago was fully awake and dressed, as if he was going somewhere - the beach perhaps.

"What do you want?" You asked, pulling his hand up so you could see the watch on his wrist. "It's barely 10, what could you possibly need right now? We are on vacation, in case you forgot"

He nods, "I know, so come on."

"Where?"

"Just get dressed, like you're going to the beach," he gets off the bed, pulling you up and off of it.

You grumble, the man walking you in the direction of the bathroom. "Is that where we're going? Because it'll still be there after noon, T." You smiled sweetly at him, hoping he'd let you go back to bed.

He shook his head, "it's a surprise," he smiled, leaning in to kiss your forehead. "Go get dressed," he nudges you into the bathroom and shuts the door."

Thiago did this often - he was always one for a surprise and typically, they were scheduled for the ass crack of dawn; the downside of dating someone who's an early riser.

It was better to give in rather than resist; you learnt that the hard way.

You did just that. It took you a hot minute to pull yourself together, slowly making your way though your morning routine before you finally got dressed for the day, 'for the beach' he said. A green bikini to match the green shorts you noticed he had on, and a yellow sundress pulled over it.

"Where are you?" You called, walking through the house.

It's quiet, your boyfriend is nowhere to be found but you can see the front door was opened. You peek outside and find him closing the trunk. "Ready?" he smiles.

You nod, walking down the few steps to the driveway. "Why are you so smiley? It's soooo early."

"It's 10:30, cariño." Thiago laughed, opening the car door for you. You nod, your hand on his jaw, "exactly - too early."

The man shakes his head at your dramatics, clearly amused. He walks over to the front door, locking up the house before getting into the car and pulling out. You look over at him, your hand reaches for his and Thiago instantly takes your hand, interlocking fingers with you.

"Where are we going? Are we almost there yet?" You asked him yet again in the 10 minutes you had been driving. Thiago bit his tongue, resisting the urge to roll his eyes.

"How many times will you ask me that?"

"Until you tell me," you smiled, making him chuckle. You had no idea where you were going. You hadn't been to Mallorca in years, at least not since you and Thiago began dating 10 years ago and so much has changed both there and in your lives.

When you met Thiago, the two of you were barely in your 20s; he was on the 1st team at Barcelona and living his dream while you were in university. You had moved with him when he transferred to Bayern Munich and then again to Liverpool. You had both grown and changed so much, you learnt more and more about life and each other.

There was no one else you wanted to spend your life with.

"I'm not going to tell you," he glances over, smiling at you.

Since he wouldn't tell you, you began your guessing game. "Are we going to the beach?"

"No."

"Are we going for a picnic?"

"No."

"Are we going toooo... get married?" You threw that one in there for fun but it seemed to catch him off guard. Thiago whipped his head in your direction so quickly, you're certain he's given himself whiplash - not to mention your first thought was dear god don't let him injure himself again, he can't sit out another game.

"What?" He asks you quickly, confusion, shock and a bit of surprise on his face. "Why would you even ask me that?"

"Not you being offended," you laughed. "I'm kidding, Thiago. Don't have a heart attack." You squeezed his hand, the man turns into a winding street which takes you down towards a place you had been mentioning since before you even arrived in Mallorca.

You smiled, sitting up a little straighter. "The marina?" You look over at him. "We're having a yacht day?"

"Just for the day," he smiles, pulling into the lot. "So you shut up about it." He teased, making you roll your eyes before you get out of the car.

Thiago takes the bags out of the trunk, leading you towards the boat. He puts the stuff on, leaning over to help you on before you settle in and he drives it into open waters. After you two had come to a stop, your boyfriend found his way below deck to put the food away for the time being and you had stripped off the sundress and laid out in the sun, letting your body relax and become sun kissed.

Laying on your tummy, your eyes closed and your face buried between your folded arms, you can feel the sunshine and the warm breeze along the exposed skin. It wasn't that much longer when you feel someone's cold hands pinch your hip, making you jump.

"Thiago!" You rolled away from him, scolding him.

The man laughs, lifting your right leg to slot between them, letting you rest your leg on his lap. "Sorry, sweetheart." He rubs the back of your thigh, "didn't mean to startle you - but to be fair, it is just us out here."

"Well obviously," you mumbled, "but I wasn't expecting you to appear out of thin air." You flung your foot back, hitting him in the side. He smiles at your action, holding your flailing leg down by your calf and rubbing along your soft skin.

Propping yourself up on your elbows, you look over your shoulder at your boyfriend. "Can you rub some lotion on my back for me?"

Thiago nods, reaching for the bottle that was discarded on the floor. It's oily and sticky, as you had used it and set it back down with your lotion covered hands; he's certain that's what had happened. The man squeezes a dollop of the sun lotion in his hand, rubbing them together before resting his hands on your ass, or at least what was exposed.

"Babe!" You laughed, looking back at him. "I meant on my back!"

He ignores your words for a few moments, his fingers kneading over the flesh before looking at you. "You didn't specify."

"I figured it was implied."

Your boyfriend shrugs, moving his hands up your back and slowly working the lotion into your skin before moving to lay beside you. Thiago's on his back, an arm stretched out in front of you and the other propped under his head. Even with his sunglasses on, you can see his eyes are closed. You scoot a bit closer to the man, pulling the glasses down to the bridge of his nose.

"Hi, T." You peaked his lips with yours and he smiled, the arm that was stretched out pulled you down against him. "Hi, y/n."

"What's the plan?"

"Relax."

"Why?"

"No, I mean, the plan is to relax." He smiled, making you giggle at your misunderstanding. "Oh, okay."

It's at least an hour that's passed before you two attempt to move from your spot. Thiago sits up, pushing his sunglasses onto his head before turning to look at you.

"How about a swim?" He asks and he barely finishes his sentence before you up, flinging your legs to get the slippers off and you're heading towards the stairs. "What's the rush?" He asks, dropping his sunglasses on the chair, slipping off his own shoes.

"The last one into the water has to pick up the laundry when we get back!" You shouted to him, sprinting down the stairs to the platform.

You'd think for someone who gets paid to run up and down a 100 foot long football pitch, he'd be faster but instead he leans over the railing, shouting as you jumped into the freezing water. "That's not fair!"

You shouted back. "You're a sore loser!"

A few moments later, your boyfriend finds his way down to the platform before diving into the water.

You clap for him, "10 out of 10, darling!" Thiago laughs, bowing half way as you swam over to him.

He smiles, his arms reaching for you to pull you against him, your own arms over his shoulders. The two of you stay like that for a bit, floating around.

The ice cold water was a welcomed change from the Spanish sun you had been lazing in all day; not to mention a shock to all of your bodily systems.

Eventually, you leave him in the water and get back onto the platform, sitting at the edge with your legs hanging into the cold water. Thiago was doing a lap around the boat and only realized you had gotten out when he returned to the back. The man swims over, slotting himself between your legs, his arms on your thighs.

You watch as your boyfriend passes his hand over his wet hair, slicking it down. You undo it; passing your hand through his hair, watching as the little curls reform themselves after the motion. You twirl a few strands of his short hair between your fingers, smiling to yourself - you love his hair, especially when he grows it out enough for you to see the curls.

Thiago's cheek pressed to your thigh, basking in the sunshine and your affection until he calls it quits - his arms on either side of you as he pulls himself up and out of the water, and.. well onto top of you.

"Seriously?" You asked, laying flat against the wet platform.

He rolls off of you, laying beside you. "Seriously." He scrunches his nose at you, making you laugh yet again. You flip over, onto your stomach as your arm drapes over his middle. Thiago can feel your fingers across the large tattoo on his side. Slowly, your fingers trace out the letters and the words, going line by line - not missing a single one.

"How about lunch?" He asks, getting up and pulling you up with him. You nod, "considering that you pulled me out of my bed and didn't let me eat anything, yeah, lunch would be great."

Thiago laughs, dramatic as always he thinks. His hand rests on your lower back as you two head up the stairs and back onto the deck.

"Need help?" You asked, about to follow him to the kitchen and he shook his head, turning you back in the direction of the table.

"Go sit, I'll be out in a minute."

"What are you hiding?" Your brows furrowed but he shook his head, "I'm innocent of whatever crimes you're thinking of."

You take a seat at the table, Thiago does return but a minute later with a basket in hand. You help him unpack the basket - he lets you do that much - before you two settle down and have lunch.

It was well after 4 in the afternoon, rolling towards 5 when you wrapped up lunch. You two had been lazing around for a bit, enjoying each other's company and the day before Thiago got up to clean up the mess you made.

"Gonna jump back in before we head in, wanna join me?" He walks over to you, his body blocking the sun from you. You shook your head, "I'm gonna stay up here," you smiled, reaching out to hold his hand.

Thiago leans down, giving you a kiss before standing up again. "Be careful," you tell him, the man drops his sunglasses next to you.

"I will," he smiles, giving you one more kiss before walking away.

You can hear when he jumps into the water. It had been pretty quiet today, a few other boats had passed by but other than that, it was just the two of you all day. Now you aren't sure how long Thiago was in the water, your eyes had shut and you dozed off for a bit.

When you wake up, or rather, when you were startled awake, he was leaning over you, dripping freezing cold water all over you.

"Thiago!" You squealed, trying to wiggle away from your boyfriend. The man's got his arms on either side of you, trapping you under him.

"Give me a kiss and I'll move," he tells you, leaning down for a kiss.

You groan, hands pressed to his chest to push him away. "Thiago! Move!" You giggled but you knew he wouldn't let up.

He didn't; his lips puckered as he waited for you to give him a kiss.

Reaching up, your hand rests on his cheek, giving him a kiss before he drops himself down on top of you. "Babe, c'mon." You huffed, your arms wrapping around him.

He smiles, nuzzling against you. "Stop complaining, we all know you love it."

You roll your eyes; he was right, you did love it. He holds you for a bit, the two of you enjoying each other's company once again until the sun, once bright in the sky, starts to slip away under the horizon.

"Time to head in hm?" You tell him, the two of you sitting up.

Thiago nods, getting up to finally dry off - a useless action seeing that he's dripped all of the water onto you. You follow suit, wiping off the excess water before putting your dress back on. Thiago dug out a beige sweater you had bought him for Christmas years ago, pulling it on.

"I can't believe you still have that." You say, walking towards him. He glances down, shrugging. "I thought we lost it during the move but I found it in a box downstairs.

You reach for his hand, interlocking your fingers with his. "Thank you," you tell him, letting him pull you to him. His hands resting on your lower back as your own arms go over his shoulders.

"What for?" His cheek pressed to yours, the two of you swaying side to side.

"Today.. for everything." You whispered, leaning back in his arms. "I love you, Thiago."

He smiles, "I love you, y/n."

Your boyfriend spins you around, hugging you from behind as you two watch the sunset for a bit. He had already driven you back in a bit, you were still a good ways from the marina but much closer than you were before. At least now you could see land.

"Champagne?" He asks, his chin on your shoulder. Your hand reaches back, pressed to his cheek. "What are we celebrating?"

"Us," he smiles, turning to kiss your cheek before walking away to get the champagne and the glasses.

You hadn't noticed when he returned, your phone was in your hand as you took a photo of the sunset. Thiago sets the glasses and the bottle down on the table quietly before calling for you. "Babe ?"

When you turned around, you expected to find Thiago with glasses, not on his knee with a ring box.

"What are you doing?" You ask, eyes widen, brows furrowed as you look at him.

Thiago smiles, "y/n, you are.. the love of my life. The last ten years of my life have been the very best; there's not a single person in the world that I would rather spend the rest of my life with, because you are everything I could have ever imagined. The perfect woman in every sense of the word; you understand me, you take care of me and I could never repay you for that."

You can't help the giggle that leaves your lips; he's so cheesy.

"Strong and beautiful and smart, and god, you.. I don't think there are words to explain how much I love you. I'm rambling now, I'm nervous - sorry."

"Why are you nervous? It's just me." You laughed and Thiago smiled.

He glances at the ring and back at you. "Y/n, I love you so much, you are the woman I have always dreamt about; the first person I think of in the morning and the last person on my mind before I go to bed. When I'm away from home, all I can think of is coming home to you. You're my home, y/n. You're my dream woman, the person I.."

"You're rambling," you purse your lips, making him laugh.

"Y/n.. will you make me the happiest man on the planet and marry me?"

"Yes," you smiled, "I'll marry you, T."

He stands, slipping the ring onto your finger; a perfect fit. Your hands rest on his jaw, pulling him in for a kiss. "I love you." You whisper against his lips.

"I love you," he smiles, giving you another kiss. "Shall we open the champagne?"

You nod, watching as he reaches for the bottle. Thiago shakes it before popping the cork, the gold coloured liquid spraying all over the two of you and the deck, making you laugh. Your fiancé filled two glasses, handing one over to you.

"Cheers," you tapped your glass to his. "To us," he nods, mirroring your action.

Thiago hugs you from behind, the two of you facing the setting sun once again. "Was this what today was all about?" You asked, holding out your hand to admire your ring; gold band, emerald cut diamond with two smaller stones at the base of it.

"I wanted it to be perfect." He smiles, resting his chin on your shoulder yet again. "It was," you smile when Thiago reaches for your hand, bringing it up to his lips to give it a kiss.

You can't help but lean back against him; happiness and content washing over you.

You were certain you had done something right in your past life, otherwise you wouldn't have become so lucky.

--

taglist: @thesnailus @alwaysclassyeagle @lettersfromvenus @mehrmonga @callsignvenus @kmc1989 @valentinehrts @pulpfixion @ironmaiden1313 @candacels - @curiousthyme and @percervall because I know how much they love thiago :)

[strawberrymilk-sunshine]

Scared of you.

I'M BACK BITCHESSSSSSSSS

this was based on a convo I had with @kimberlyscout about life under the sea!

Warning(s): angst AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, oh and some undersea life headcanons

You and Azul have been dating for quite some time now.

To everybody else, it seems like you have a perfect relationship.

Hell, even to you it seems like you have a perfect relationship, but...

That's just because Azul is good at hiding his feelings.

In reality, your relationship is completely falling apart. But, Azul won't let you know that. He won't let you know how he really feels about you... because he wants to have a perfect relationship with you.

It happened so long ago.

He should be over it by now, right?

So why isn't he...?

You two were sat down in the cafeteria together. As always, you were eating octopus.

He loved how happy you looked when you ate it, it was your favourite food, after all... it makes sense that you'd enjoy eating it...

But he can't help but wince everytime you take a bite.

If he hadn't been so lucky that day... then that tentacle on your plate could have been from him.

But there's no use thinking about that! After all, he was lucky that day, he was able to get away! He shouldn't be thinking about this! He should only be focusing on how happy you are, your food isn't him and it never will be, it never will be...

...it never will be.

"Is something wrong, Azul?" You asked.

"Huh-? Ah, no... n-nothing's wrong, (Y/N)..." He insisted.

"Well alright... um, you're sure you're ok with me eating this...?" You asked. "I know you've said you are, but... you always seem so nervous when I-"

"No! It's fine! It's fine, it's your favourite food, and I'd hate for you to have to stop eating your favourite food just because of me!" He nervously laughed.

"Well... ok then, if you insist."

Azul quietly sighed to himself.

"What is wrong with me?!" Azul yelled at his reflection.

No transformation spell or potion is perfect, a mirror will always reflect the true form. The mirrors will always remind him of...

He punched the mirror.

He's not entirely sure why he did it...

Whatever. He has to go manage the Lounge. There's no use thinking of... all this.

"Ah, there you are, Azul." Jade said as Azul entered the Lounge. "We were very worried you would fail to show up tonight."

"I think I might need a day off next week..." Azul sighed.

"By the way, you know it's tonight, don't you? Floyd and I need our... payment."

"W-what?! No, that's not for another month!" Azul whisper yelled. "They haven't even fully grown back yet, just give me a bit longer!"

"Do you not value our friendship?" Jade asked. "If you do, then you will do it tonight."

"...fine."

You couldn't help but feel like you messed up earlier.

You want to let him know you're sorry for whatever you could have messed up.

He's probably at the Lounge, cleaning up and getting ready to lock up for the night. So you made your way there.

You entered the Lounge.

All the lights are off, and no music is playing.

It seems so different that you feel like you've never been there before.

...

Azul isn't anywhere to be seen.

But you can hear him... it sounds like he's in the kitchen.

When you opened the set of double doors, you saw him sitting on the floor, his pant leg rolled up to his thigh so he could bandage his leg.

"Azul-?"

He looked up in surprise, causing you to notice the tears in the corners of his eyes.

"(Y/N)? What are you doing here?!"

And that was when you noticed the two spasming black-and-purple tentacles on the counter, still oozing blue blood.

"What... what is this?! Are you ok?!" You yelled in a panic.

"Yes, yes, don't worry, I-I'm fine..." He told you, wiping his eyes. "It's... it's just a scratch, really, they'll grow back."

"Grow back...? What are you-"

"Well, because I'm an octopus I can... I can regrow my limbs. It's easy, don't worry. I'm used to this." He sighed as he stood up.

"So you can regrow your tentacles?" You asked, he nodded. "That's cool! Heh, with an ability like that I could use you as my own personal food supply~!" You said in a joking matter.

Azul fell to his knees the second you said that.

He looked so... shaken.

"What's wrong?! A-are you ok?!" You yelled in a panic.

"I... I can't do this anymore." He whispered as he brought his hands up to his face. "I can't do this anymore (Y/N), I can't date you anymore! We can't be together, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry-!" He sobbed.

"Azul...? Are... are you ok...?"

"Get out of my café. NOW, (Y/N), I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE!" He screamed.

"Azul, calm down, what's going on?"

"I told myself... I'd never let myself feel like this again." He sighed. "So much for that. Do you know how hard life is underwater? No. You don't. You could never know. You could never hope to understand what I've been through."

"Your bullying? Don't worry, I understand that completely, I-"

"NOT THAT, YOU IDIOT! ...high class families live in civilization. The rest of our society is kill or be killed, eat or be eaten. I was lucky enough to grow up in civilization. There are many different kinds of merfolk, some more carnivorous than others... take the twins for example, they're morays; apex predators. Fish are sentient too, you know. It's illegal to eat fish under the sea, though some still do it..."

"Fish are sentient-?"

"That's not what's important, (Y/N)!!" He yelled. "You see, to solve that problem... octopus merfolk like me are... used as a non-lethal renewable food source. Some do it by choice for money, but... the majority are forced into it. I was almost forced into it. Sure, I was from a high class family, which is supposed to protect me from that, b-but I was still almost... I was only involved in that for a day, it shouldn't scare me anymore, right? What's wrong with me?"

"Azul, did you... really go through that?"

"DO YOU NOT BELIEVE ME?!" He yelled, inky tears falling down his face. "Come to think about it, that... that might've been the first time I properly met the twins. They... they saved me, from that terrible fate... but you know, of course they didn't do it for free. They wanted my tentacles. They made me cut them off myself, I remember their faces as I did it... they laughed at me the whole time. So they ate the tentacles and then brought me to safety... ever since then, we've had a deal. So long as I give them my tentacles every now and again, they'll... protect me." He sighed. "I didn't feel safe in my own home, you understand that?! Anyone at any time in any place could take be away again...!"

That was when Azul fully broke down crying.

"A-are you ok-?"

You immediately crouched down, and reached your hand out in some attempt to comfort him.

He slapped your hand away.

"DON'T TOUCH ME!!" Azul screamed. "(Y/N), do you know why I never told you about this...?"

"No, I-"

"It's because I wanted us to have a perfect relationship. I didn't want you to have to give up your favourite food just because of something that happened to me so many years ago... I tried so hard to hide this side of me from you... I try my hardest to not appear like a... coward. But now I see that won't work. We won't work, (Y/N)."

"Please, we can work through this-!"

"No we can't. I'm sorry. Now get out of here and leave me alone. (Y/N), I... I'm doing this for you, understand? I want you to have a partner that can make you happy, one that isn't... scared of you." He paused. "That just isn't me."

"Azul, please-!"

"NO! GET OUT! GET OUT OF MY KITCHEN! GET OUT OF MY LOUNGE! GET OUT OF MY DORM! GET OUT, NOW!!" Azul screamed at you once more. "...please don't come back here. And if you tell anyone about this 'breakdown' of mine, then I'll make sure you never speak again. Understand?"

"But I-"

"GO."

You didn't mean for any of this to happen...

[sixofheartz]

I liked how this came out, so I thought I'd post it here! I remixed Ride to the Sky from Kirby's Dream Course in the Explorers of Sky soundfont (based on a convo from a few months ago). I'm VERY inexperienced with music but it was fun to make!

The chords were done by my friend @summermonths !!

[olderthannetfic]

On the topic of deleted fic, some years ago I was in a server. Someone in that server sometimes wrote fic live and we had a fun time reacting to it as an audience

At some point I got the hots for a character and I would not stop talking about them and this one idea I had for them. And at the time I wasn’t a fic writer, so I just kept talking to get it out of my system. At some point that author wrote a fic based on my idea. I don’t know if it was for me specifically , or because they felt like writing and a few others in the serve were also interested, but they wrote it

Some time later, the admin closes the server closes down, and a few months ago I remember this fic, which I didn’t save. I try to track down anyone who was in the server, anyone who might still be in contact with the author. All I have is a screenshot of their old ao3 username and a few tags on one fic that I remember

So I sort by year and tag on ao3 and nothing. The name doesn’t turn anything up.

Then all I have is my old instagram follower list and I start combing through everyone who drew fanart from that fandom. And I start messaging people. “Hey, were you in a server 3 years ago? I went by X name and this person wrote fics etc etc”

So I finally find the author. They saved nothing. I don’t know if they had bad experiences with the fandom or with the source material itself, but they saved nothing. It’s gone forever and nobody else I found from that server saved the fic either

And that’s the reason why I save everything now. I keep docs for headcanons, I handwrite convos in my journal, I keep my old writing buried in google docs no matter how cringy it is. Or I print it and delete the docs to stash it in a drawer and never look at it again

Because of that, on principle, I never delete my fics. I have something I wrote long ago that I cringe so hard at, I orphaned it. There’s cringe fics I still want control over, so I moved them to a pseudonym and anon-ed them so they don’t even show up on my main to myself. Old cringe headcanons stay on my tumblr page. And every once in a while, when I talk fic/headcanons on discord with friends, I round them up and post them on tumblr, so they’re somewhere

I know some people have things that they really really want to delete and yeah, I’m not here to tell them what to do, I can’t stop them. But I still hate it when authors delete their stuff.

--

[yamahex]

the reader cheating on her bf with Jack

Content Warning: Manipulation and Slight Dub Con TOXIC Jack

A/N: Love me some toxic shit. I also based some of the dialogue off of You Right by Doja

“I think I’m falling for you.”

Your eyes read over the message and a sudden twinge of guilt entered your consciousness. You quickly turned off your phone at the noise of your boyfriend’s footsteps.

He greeted you as he entered the bedroom, prompting you to stand up and accept his embrace. You pulled away and examined the look in his eyes. Pure. Loving. He didn’t deserve this.

Your lips flashed him a saddened smile, which he noticed.

“What’s wrong, love?” You quickly shook your head, trying to perk yourself up.

“Nothing, just tired.”

He looked relieved at your answer and His hand reached up to stroke your cheek. “I’m gonna hop in the shower then we can cuddle and chill, alright?”

You nodded then watched him make his way to the bathroom.

The ding from your phone caught your attention. Another text from Jack:

“I miss you.”

You glanced back up in the direction of the bathroom, then looked down at your phone.

“I miss you too.”

The next morning you were overcome with guilt. This affair had to end. So you told Jack that the two of you had to talk, which led to you driving to his apartment.

You thought back to the night this all started.

Jack approached you at the club, having made his mind up about wanting you. You were so wrapped up in the convo that you almost forgot to mention your boyfriend.

Jack looked at you with lust in his eyes.

“Imma be real, you just my type.”

“I got a man-“

“But he ain’t in sight right now, so…” He was quick to interrupt.

Jack had a natural pull to him, so against your better judgement you ended up going back to his place that night. That interaction was months ago but has continued ever since. So why did you now feel guilty?

As you pulled up to his place you couldn’t help but be nervous for the upcoming interaction. You knew this was the right thing to do but part of you wanted to keep this going.

Upon him opening the front door you were met with a sly smirk on his face, he then stood aside to let you in and allow you to make your way to the couch as you did many times before.

“So what did you want to talk about, mama?” He sat himself across from you in the opposite loveseat.

“We can’t keep doing this.” He snickered as if he already knew that was coming.

“That’s what you came here to say?”

“I’m serious Jack. It’s not fair to him.” He nodded.

“Don’t act like the devoted girlfriend now. You weren’t thinking about him when you had your thighs wrapped around my head a few days ago.”

You let out a deep breath in defeat, which Jack noticed. He leaned back against the seat and spread his legs apart, tempting you to take a glance. Damn Sweatpants.

“Where was all this loyalty two months ago when this started? What do you think he would say if he heard all the freaky shit you ask me to do to you, hm? He probably already knows since it’s obvious you have no self control.”

You shot him a glare.

“Fuck you.”

He smirked in triumph.

“Watch your attitude. I see through your facade Y/N. If you really wanted this to end, why not text me?” You watched him get up from his place and move next to you.

“Why come here and deal with the temptation?” You sighed.

“I can’t keep looking him in the face and lying to him-“

“Why are you really here Y/N?”

You seemed to not have an answer for that.

“I think you’re scared cause you know what we could be. And you want it to be a reality. I get it, I do. You don’t want to break his heart.”

He brought his hand up and pushed some stray hair away from your neck.

“But I know you want me just as much as I want you. I feel that energy when you’re on top of me. Yet here you are, hesitating.”

His face moved closer to you then he began placing kisses on your neck. The feeling of his lips caused you to lean back momentarily, allowing him access. You quickly snapped out of it and gently pushed him away.

“Jack we can’t.”

The two of you locked eyes and he looked at you with that damn smug expression.

“You really want me to stop?”

“No but-“

“So just relax and I’ll give you everything you could ever want. Just say you’re mine.”

He continued kissing as he waited for your reply

“I’m yours.”

[lucysweatslove]

Finally back home!

So the “testing” was literally a brief 30 min convo where she asked some clarifying questions from my intake form and then I did the WAIS-IV. That’s it, just the WAIS. The psychologist did tell me though that she isn’t interpreting my scores on the typical IQ scale but is looking at how my own scores compare to each other. The psychometrist was taking times I think in between lines and for each problem, so I’m curious if they will be looking at how I fatigue and my error rate as time goes on for some tasks like the processing speed ones.

I also hate the general knowledge questions because how tf am I supposed to know the circumference of the earth around the equator in this setting if I have never not once heard it? I tried doing the fermi problem way of rationalizing it but I couldn’t quite scale what I know to be ~300 mi to the equator in my head. Whatever. And like. I give 0 shits about any European historical monarchy (or history in general- why bother remembering specifics when the internet exists) so my brain has pruned any of that information I may have gotten 15 years ago and thus I couldn’t tell you that stuff. I always hate how it’s administered because I have a VAST knowledge of anything sciency (you know, things I’m interested in) but nah if you cant remember who one monarch was and then can’t remember a geography question then who cares how much science info you’ve retained.

Anyway I was expecting that computer based attention test but nope just intelligence testing. And I won’t find out concrete results for 3 more weeks so I’ll see the NP before then. I was hoping to get some answers and be on a first trial medicine before I go to my rural site (one month from today) but I guess probably not. And I guess that’s also if they see patterns of ADHD in me. Which they might as I tend to do poorly on processing speed and working memory tests, I just don’t know if the effect size will be large enough for them to agree that yes I have adhd.

[cabozers]

The new Ultrakill update omg... There's a tree you have to feed blood and for the last like year we've had a "deep root tree" in our headspace that has a dark red/black base and red leaves and it runs off blood ... We have convos talking about this deep root tree from like 6 months ago and we joked about it being the nature's mockery LOL... Weird coincidence especially cause we have the V machines in here

[stayarmytinyzenmoa-l]

i feel so called out by the commuter student who can't drive bc even though i can my anxiety refuses to let me drive on the highways 🙃

Let the all kill begin, just to condense things (and reduce the post spam lmfao I'll put screenshots here AHAHA

Anyway no yeah, Rose, like I be telling everyone if you're not going to live on campus you have to get your license because I mean it when I say you almost can't do shit without it esp cuz clubs meet after classes end. Like, I couldn't actually drive to uni until I was in my junior year and even then since I was new I feared for my life that first year!

Honestly a slight TMI but I remember at the time when my parents told me that I was in middle school. My best friend at the time just came out as bisexual and our parents were close, so her parents would tell mine that they were hoping it was just a phase (it wasn't) and also at that time I think anti-lgbtqia+ tensions were so high where we lived so when my mom told me that, of course, at the time I felt so betrayed by her because she had various family members in the community. But looking back at it in hindsight, I get it. If I was her, I don't know how I'd protect my young child, who was barely entering her teens, from a society that already hated who she was because she was a racial minority.

When I finally came out to my mom like a few months ago she straight up told me she wasn't surprised because of my fashion choices LMFAO Converse, Skinny Jeans, and Flannels (so many of them)

NO BECAUSE LIKE one of the things I was going for was to accentuate OC's relationship with Somi by making her relationship with her parents so tense. Everyone talks about car ride convos, but the tension between OC and her dad in that scene was my attempt at some narrative to kinda sorta ostracize her from her parents. And true to life, I can't tell my dad anything LMFAO

You think you know them and suddenly you find out the Mitochondria isn't just the powerhouse of the freaking cell

Me getting blackout drunk and/or fucking railed at parties while my parents tell everyone how studious I am 🤩

do as i say and not as i do

NO CUZ I WATCHED TOY STORY AND SUDDENLY I COULDN'T GIVE UP ANY OF MY TOYS toy story 3 fucked me up fr fr

ALSO NO DONT APOLOGIZE I LOVE INBOX SPAM speaking of you dropped a few things while i was gone i should go binge those soon 👀

Dude NO studying gets done in those rooms my most vivid memory was me explaining how tf dp works to my friends who both (a) asked and (b) didn't get the concept for some reason-

Then we trauma dump about past relationships it's perfect-

NO REST FOR THE WICKED DFJSHDFJHDF like just call them exams at that point. They're not a midterm if they're multiple of them 😭

I used to say fucking anything to get my motivation up before the exam HAAHAHAHA

It's true, the trauma bonding really helps too

Had to tie it in somehow. Another TMI but I gave mine away recently, I had like this weird manic depressive episode so I buried it in a box we were going to send off to GoodWill. Not to be dramatic, but it hurt looking at it.

You're welcome, love, I sobbed too-

But fr though I meant it when I say I went through a ride writing this fic, and there's just so much more that we did together, me and the girl I based this off of, that I left out that I almost feel like how I wrote her here didn't do her justice. But like, it's fine. (me crying at god awful hours in the morning)

[jitterbugjive]

Oh-- God, that's wild. And a lot more complicated than I thought. D: I do remember her publicly calling you out years ago, I can't remember what for (maybe it was vaguing, but I'm pretty sure it wasn't about any of this.) Felt more like a personal spat where she was offended/her feelings were hurt. ): I do hope she gets the help she needs, and you still come out of this okay. None of that relates to who you are now as a content creator.

It was about a few things, like the Derpy Blog incident, and claiming that I taught her to act like a sociopath because a long time ago she came to me asking about her lack of emotional empathy and need to manipulate others and in my naivete I suggested perhaps sociopathy could explain it. Because even I myself at the time was dealing with similar feelings and thought I might have been a sociopath because of it. This was before therapy and dealing with my trauma and realizing it wasn't sociopathy, but in fact dissociation. And when I did suggest it, I tried my best to give her tools to practice empathy and kindness, but she blames me for all the wrong and harm she's done to people because to her, my suggesting she had sociopathy was permission for her to act like a sociopath.

I struggled with the guilt of this for a while but my therapist told me no one can 'teach' someone to become a sociopath, that's not how that works. She chose to act that way on her own because she took something I said and ran with it, and I didn't give her enough tools to counter those thoughts but that's not my fault because I didn't intend for things to happen the way they did. I really tried to provide advice that would help her function more like a proper, kind person, but she ignored that advice. I'm not blaming her either by the way, she was a kid, kids are dumb, they tend to latch on to dumb things and take them way out of context. She was at that age where kids like to be edgy so I'm sure the idea of being a sociopath was cool to her.

She also called me out on something I told her when I was in a psychotic state, which was me saying I based Slate off of her. That wasn't true either, and I tried to explain it to her that in that state I believed everyone's characters HAD to be based on someone real, no exception, and I felt the need to tell her Slate was based on her because he had just a couple of things in common with her and therefor "they were connected" and I "subconciously" used Slate as an experiment to better understand her.

Again, I explained this to her, I told her that I was not in my right mind, and I told her the three characters Slate was actually based on from the anime Monster. But she apparently chose to believe I was lying and that I HAD to have based slate on her because of how similar they were.

I have a screencap of a convo here where she admits that she had a habit of taking anything wrong she did and blaming it on me, and the last convo I had with her was about a friend she manipulated and targetted because she thought he was too nice and naive and needed to learn a lesson about life.

I never meant to make her feel like she was a bad person, I just wanted to know why she did it, why she hurt someone that badly and pitted people against him.

She ghosted me after this convo, and a few months later deleted my Bedeviled Derpy blog with a long post of accusations against me.

THEN after that did a callout twitter with one of her buddies.

It's just

I have been too scared to defend myself because I don't want to look like one of THOSE people, but I'm so tired of people looking at just one side of the story and not understanding all the stuff that's being left out or twisted to sound worse than it actually is.

I want the best for her, I do, but I don't think I deserved this much backlash. If she'd just talked to me we could have come to an understanding, I feel. But that's not how she does things. She'd sooner ghost then lash out than actually discuss things. She'd rather tear people apart to get back at them than come to an understanding. Maybe she's different now, but I doubt she'll ever let go of the fact that I'm her scapegoat for everything that was ever wrong with her.

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

hi it's me again lol i started watching spy x family and omfg. i get the hype now. it's so good

matchup(s) for spy x family, bsd and haikyuu pls!! i added some more details

some facts abt my appearance lol: im 4'9 (i am fr), kind of chubby, brown filipino, dark brown hair. also im an istj. 5w6 based on a quiz i took some months ago.

in terms of personality, im naturally quiet lol i can't help it. even when im around ppl i like, im still on the listeners side unless i have something good to say. otherwise im sorry but you'll have to be the one to start convos 😭

my jokes are mean so im kind of afraid to joke around unless ik they can argue back jokingly. and aren't sensitive. i'm also kind of blunt to the point that it's sometimes a problem. i'll apologize obv but man it makes me a little antisocial lol

in spite of istj stereotypes, i (try to) give my criticism very gently. i try to make sure that the other person knows im not judging or insulting but giving advice. i'm blunt but not that blunt

i like helping ppl out & taking care of others, actually. i like feeling appreciated/needed by others. tbh, it's why im aiming to become a nurse if i pass the exams. if i don't, i still want something along those lines. :))

hobbies: reading (aka prowling around in libraries), watching shows, i like cooking too but idk if it counts bc i don't have many opportunities to do it

aesthetic: coquette, femme fatale sort of thing. laces, bows, frills, etc. i like everything on me modest tho

likes : coffee, any hot drink, reading (tho i don't have the mind power these days lol) , scary movies, ghost hunting videos, history docs, romance but with awkward fmcs. taking walks, and... pink.

dislikes : cluttered spaces (i can't handle stuff just being thrown around. i need even a bit of organisation. not much of a clean freak but i need to know where everything is), crowded and noisy places, non-specific instructions (stresses me out fr), not submitting stuff on time bc its embarrassing, awkward situations (ex. meeting someone for the first time)

have a great timezone!! hope ur food is always warm unless u want it cold 🍲

Hi! Thank you for your request! I took out the Bungo Stary Dogs matchup since you mentioned you've already got one before. Sorry this took so long. I hope you like your matchups!

In Spy x Family, I match you with...

This was a close call between Loid and Yuri, but I think you’d get along slightly better with Loid due to his less boisterous personality.

Loid loves cooking with you and taking walks. There’s not a lot in his life that he finds relaxing but spending quality time with you doing something as mundane as walking or cooking helps him take a load off.

Very clean so no need to worry about clutter. He does his fair share of housekeeping, so you also don’t have to worry about being run off your feet trying to keep the house clean all by yourself.

Admires your desire to help people. That’s one of the main reasons he became a spy, so he values that trait in others greatly. It makes him feel like he can trust you.

Loid is amazing at making you feel needed and appreciated without forcing you to work too hard for it. You hung up his coat for him? Thank you so much. You set the table for dinner before he got home? That’s great, it means you can cook together and have dinner earlier now.

In Haikyuu, I match you with...

You and Kiyoko are the quiet (and kind of intimidating) power couple. While you can both be a bit standoffish, you do like helping people and genuinely care about those close to you.

I see Kiyoko as someone who enjoys watching history documentaries and ghost hunting videos. They’re very different from what people think of when they see her, but I think she finds them intriguing.

Loves taking walks with you! There’s nothing better than being able to finish up with the volleyball team and walking home with the person you care about most.

Speaking of the volleyball team, there’s absolutely no way there’s ever going to be a peaceful or quiet moment with them around. If you’re still uncomfortable in noisy places like this, Kiyoko’s more than happy to meet up with you somewhere quieter.

Sometimes she needs to vent about school or her commitments with the team so she’s very grateful you’re there to lend an ear. Please know that she’s there for you if you ever need to talk as well.