#this is childs play compared to what I see daily

[vesperewrites]

Hey i wanted to say I agree with offdutymodel in how well you handled the discussion because I would've absolutely started fighting these anons. You were so calm in the face of .. whatever the fuck that was.

I've been here since December so I've seen many blowouts in the fandom (mass exodus of authors and mass deleting/privating, twitter fights, transphobia and grooming allegations, tumblr dumpster fires) but I can say the quality has not decreased because that only means they haven't been reading the new fics (i agree with the anon that brought up mooniepond and nocturnal_pollinator who came in both with a bang).

And there are still ongoing fics of insane quality (non abo like: give you back to me by anon, forget me not by unohanabbygirl, the beast you made of me by maidenmothercrone, hands searching slow in the dark by monkkeyslut, love and anarchy by yieldmaden. Or abo ones like love is a misty dream by corviids, like the stars that shine by wynchwood, all i had to give by monkkeyslut, vice and violence by garmr). Those are just some of the ones I managed to read because I can't keep up despite reading solely lucemond for almost a year now.

Other authors too like riderbub, hypothesistest, offdutymodel, qiuwithaq, maya28, myl0rdstrong, draconarius, hellomellowyellow, beatwice, asklena, minos_TT, brokecherry marmiel, lucerile, oceansoflove continue to write great works for the fandom tirelessly and deserve appreciation and recognition.

+There are the existing works of avonne, nottodaythough, grimsoul, lucerysinthesky, thehundredthpoet, lockandkey, future_medicine, sasha_bo, 10tacles, aeucerys/bladeyinyuejun that are all available to read.

I'm doubtful that this was anything but bitterness speaking because the fandom is far from dead. This is the kind of entitlement and talking down that got us in many of the issues that plague this fandom, speaking about freely given content made by someone through sweat and tears only to call it "not pulitzer worthy" is just.. stomach churning at best. I invite them to start writing something themselves just so they'd see how grueling it can be, especially with life coming at you and people criticizing you. Rose colored glasses for the past are whatever but we're not going back in time are we?

Thank you for highlighting authors because God knows they deserve appreciation, and so do you. I thought to send this as anon but I won't just so you'd have an idea of who's behind the words.

Anyway i really didn't want to dwell on negativity, I wanted to highlight some of my favorite authors and works but get dragged to speak by my annoyance lol.

Hi there, first of all, thank you for telling me <3 I genuinely appreciate it and this is incredibly kind and sweet.

There’s so many incredible authors here, like you mentioned. I don’t know who is a fandom oldie or who isn’t. But I don’t see why it matters if the “quality” lowered in their eyes. This is fic, and it is free! All I know is that we’re writing our silly little incest ship in a small space. And I’m really happy to be here. I’m enjoying what I’m reading and that's what matters. :]

If someone doesn’t enjoy the fandom, I cannot control that. No amount of “hate” or "insults" or “discourse” (it wasn’t, lol) can change my own individual, unique experience.

The only thing I can surmise from the anon asks I got were: someone embittered with what the fandom offers. Or a bitter/jealous person who supposedly left the fandom/still hanging on. Or thirdly, a person that isn’t part of the ship at all that thrives on the chaos. Maybe all of the above. Also, weirdly, weirdly obsessed with Lita for some reason based on what both me and Offduty received recently.

I don’t know. That was before my time, so I’m not fully aware of everything. But, I sincerely wish those hurt by whatever happened, that they genuinely heal and find a good outlet. Sincerely. Camping out in my ask box and other writers’ ask boxes isn’t normal or healthy behavior.

Last but not least, the only thing I can do? Support and give love to fics and fan art. Create, like you said. And I will.

[kseung]

Wednesday x Reader

Father's Feathers

Requested.

Warnings: child abuse, threatening, scissors, blood.

Words: 1030~

Thanks to the original creator of this Avian Reader character: @toournextadventure

Some scars never leave... usually those burnt into our brains. That was exactly your case. All thanks to you amazing father.

And he made it his mission to remind you. "All those feathers are mine, you little monster! I can pluck them out whenever I want to!" That was his go-to phrase.

It made sense why you were so uncomfortable with your wings now. Having them was hard. Being reminded daily of the hurt you went through was hard. Having people want to touch your wings was harder. But, sometimes, nothing would compare to when Wednesday threatened to pluck out your feathers. Even as a joke, it made you uneasy.

She made one of those comments one day. One particularly hard day for you. You had had a nightmare that night in which your father punished you for "misbehaving". How? Ripping your feathers, of course. Occasionally, he'd clip some feathers with a pair of scissors. And what did you do? You were playing, as a normal 6-year-old does. You tripped, got a scraped knee, and cried. You didn't sob, as it wasn't that bad. But that still made your father annoyed.

The typewriter sounds continued, La Llorona playing as background music. You were sitting on Wednesday's bed, trying your best to rest without sleeping. You hadn't slept at all since around 04:00, courtesy of the bad dreams Wednesday wasn't starring.

—You're being odd.

That comment was so sudden you almost didn't catch it. You thought she was talking to herself rather than to you. You sent her a glance, too tired to function correctly.

—I'm just tired.

She looked at you, intensely. You were tired. That was evident, judging by the dark circles under your eyes. But it wasn't only that. There was more you weren't telling her.

She lowered the volume of the music after putting away her typewriter in the big drawer. You looked around as she did so, trying to prepare yourself for the interrogation you knew was coming. She sat in front of you, cross-legged on the bed. She looked at you, holding direct eye contact as she always does.

—What is upsetting you?

You pursed your lips. You didn't want to talk about this, but you knew it'd be better to finally let go of a bit of the weight you were carrying. So you went along with it, nodding.

—My wings.

Your lip trembled when you spoke, as did your voice. Wednesday was taken aback. To her, having such wings would be her pride for life.

—I don't understand. Your wings are impressive, grandiose even. I'd be proud to have such magnificent wings.

—I know you don't get it. They're just... a burden.

—Why would you think that? Did someone say something bad about them? Who? Is that why you don't let people near them?

Having you not be happy with yourself sure made her get annoyed, anxious even. Haywire chaos happened inside her brain every time she saw you unwell. Sometimes she showed that she cared for you so obviously, yet she acted disinterested when asked.

You knew it was coming to that, so you got yourself ready. —Wednesday, I am scared. Let me try something...— You had an idea. If Wednesday had visions, maybe she'd see what you went through without you having to talk about it. She looked at you, confused, but she nodded. So you took her hand in yours and watched as her head shot backward.

She saw it. Moments of your childhood. Terrible memories. Bad terrible. She never knew you had to go through things that horrible. Now she understood why you were so wary of everyone regarding your wings. What hurt the most may have been how you were crying while being tortured by your father, and you weren't enjoying it. It made her angry, too.

When she came back to her senses, she looked at you crying silently in front of her. Her first instinct was to hug you, arms around your neck. You knew it was safe, because it was Wednesday, but you still tensed, stiff as her at the beginning of your relationship.

—I'm here for you. I'll always be, even in death. You hear me?

You nodded, now sobbing. Even if you wanted to, they just didn't stop flowing. She held you close, trying to make you listen to her heartbeat. It had always calmed you, and she hoped that time wasn't different.

She then started playing with your hair, combing it to perfection with her fingers. Little by little, her hand lowered. It had been a while when you noticed she was gently caressing your wings. She traced the pattern of you feathers carefully, silently reassuring you. It made you cry more.

—You make me feel so loved—, you sobbed onto her. By then, her clothes were stained by the tears you wept. She let you do that. It made you feel even more cared for.

She was silent, mainly in disbelief. You had indirectly called her comforting. She liked it, but only because it was you.

—Shh. Let's lie down.

Her tone was as less awkward as possible, which you appreciated. She laid down on her back, making you be on top of her. Being taller than her, and also with the wings, it seemed as though you were covering her. Her arms still rested on the back of your neck, holding you safely in your place.

You rested in silence, the thought of being there with Wednesday sinking in. It made you emotional again. You were really going through it. She noticed and hugged you tighter. It made you more thankful to have her.

—I love you so much.

Wednesday was sure that time would help you heal your wounds, she hoped so. She nodded. It always made her feel.

—I know. I love you.

You smiled.

—Be proud of your wings. I am proud of you. Your feathers, not his. Yours.

It was odd hearing Wednesday so sappy, but it was something you could get more used to. You just hummed a "yes". You were sure you'd sleep well that night.

—Thank you, Wednesday.

—You're welcome...love.

[neteyamyawne]

Hey girlie🤭It's me perse! You know i LOOOOVE me some Tonowari, AND TUMBLR IS HAVING A TONOWARI DROUGHT🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬!!!!!!! I wanted to request a Tonowari x Reader where they're both young, he's on his journey of becoming Olo'eyktan, and he's courting the reader to be his future Tsahik. I was thinking a little best friends to lovers with some jealous, protective, possessive Tonowari dipped in there.🤭It's all love and keep up the good work🩵

Tihawnu ♡

Pairing : Tonowari x fem!reader

Summary : Request

Song : Dear future husband

Love 🤍

❈ Warning : minor angst, fluff, tiny bit of misunderstanding, confession, jealousy, threatening, protective tonowari

❈ Word count : 2.6k proof read

❈ Note : Perse! I love your request, send me more rahhh, i love protective tonowari and thank you @teyamsbitch for the motivation ILYSM

"word" - dialogue, ~word~ - thoughts

❈ Glossary : Tsahik - spiritual leader, Tsarekam - tsahik in training, sa'nu - mom, sa'nok - mother, mauri & kelku - tent, ma'parultsyip - term of endearment for a child, evi - child, tweng - loin cloth, ma'ite - my daughter, tiyawn - love

You sat with your eyes trained on the mortar and pestle in your hands as you grind the herbs into fine powder, the tsahik keeping a close eye on you while you train under her overlooking, being the tsarekam was tiring you but every drop of exhaustion evaporates from your body as your eyes catches the movement of a tall and handsome metkayina, who you call your best friend, but the thing is, you never saw him as your best friend from the start, though you won't admit it, that's another problem for another time, but also you saw your sister, Ronal, walk right behind him, your blood boiled to see her with him, everyone knew of Ronal's liking over Tonowari, even he knew about her feelings towards him but he always made it his life's Mission to stay away from her and her advances but as you watched her trail behind him like a lost puppy, your anger raised to you brain as you grinded the pestle into the mortar so hard that your hand slipped and all the half an hour worth of grinding spilled over the woven flooring, instantly regretting your anger as the tsahik's eyes glowered down on you, you quickly try to salvage what could be used from fallen powder but your mind remained on your sister and tonowari, somehow finishing your daily chores with the tsahik, you made your way back to your family mauri, though still fuming at ronal's advances you knew you couldn't do anything.

Walking inside the kelku your attention immediately went to your sister who was laying in her hammock, staring at the roof of the kelku with a small smile playing on her lips, you rolled your eyes and dropped the basket in your arms with a loud thud on the floor, your sa'nok instantly turning to face you at the loud noise "are you alright, ma'ite?" She asked in a concerned and worried voice at your display of frustration, you huffed and sat down near the basket, picking at the woven flooring of the kelku "nothing, sa'nu" you said back in quitely, legs drawn to your chest and head perched on your knee, staring at the blacked wood of the fire place, when you feel your mother sit down beside you "ma'parultsyip, i can see something is bothering you evi" her concerned voice filled your heart, her soft and caring efforts melting you enough to answer back "why did you send me to be tsarekam when you knew she would easily surpass me" you huffed angrily but not at her, instead eyeing your sister, she chuckled lightly at your complain "oh ite, do not compare yourself to her, you are different and unique, you will have your moment when the time is right, i know it, eywa makes no mistakes and I know what I'm doing, my child" she smiled at you and kissed your forehead lovingly before getting up and going on with her daily chores while you were left thinking about what she just said but soft chuckles and giggles fell on you ears as you looked at your sister's hammock from were the sound came from and rolled your eyes once again in annoyance before walking out yourself, going to the shore for some peace of mind.

»»————-　♡　————-««

You floated around in the shallow waters of metkayina, your body facing up to the sky, eyes closed, letting the light waves wash over you, calming you down, but your peace was disturbed as tonowari ran towards your direction, yelling your name "(Y/N)!!!" begrudgingly, you got up but he tackled you in a big side hug, almost knocking you over "calm down, brute, you'll crush me" you chuckled, recovering your balance, his laughter booming around you, of course you knew he was happy, he passed his iknimaya and the celebration that was being held for them in the evening made him even more energetic, you were happy for him with your whole heart but somewhere in there that Little flame of love and jealousy flared but you stayed quiet about it, he saw the flicker of change on your face "hey, what's wrong?" Picking up on your signs, he knew you like the back of his hand, you sighed looking at the waters again "it's nothing, just duties, don't worry about it, it's your big day! Not mine" you smile, playfully nudging him, he's still hesitant but let's go of it.

He knew you'd talk about it when you feel like it, but you knew you'd never tell anyone about this, he changed the subject "you're coming to the celebration, right?" He smirks confidently, but you don't answer immediately and his confidence falters "you're coming, right?! Please, you won't come to your best friend's celebration?! Am I even your best friend anymore?" He said in an overdramatic and playful manner, a hand on his chest in mock offense, which you couldn't help but laugh at "I'll try, I'll try but no promises!" You chuckled, he smiled at that too "I'll be waiting for you" his voice was softer than before, a glint in his soft aqua blue eyes, you both stood there on the shore, staring at each other, neither of you moving or looking away, he puts a hand on your forearm, leaning in to say something but the moment was broken when his friends screeched and howled for him to join them, your face warmed up as you looked away, butterflies swarming in the pit of your belly "you can go, they're waiting for you" your voice was barely above a whisper, he groaned internally but obliged, giving a last side hug to you, he ran of with his friends, turning back a little and waving at you before finally running off with them, but the effects of the hug still lasted way more than you thought they would.

»»————-　♡　————-««

You stayed on the quite, or for you, the peaceful part of the shores for a long while, it was way past eclipse as you sorted out your thoughts one by one, readying yourself for the next day, you didn't even bother to go to the celebration, you knew it'd just end with you talking to your friends and staring at Ronal who would, most likely, be all over tonowari and you were in no mood to see such utter nonsense but the sounds of beating drums, elders singing the songs of warriors vibrated through the air and tonowari's request for you to come pressed you enough to rethink about not going, even if you, originally, never planned to go, the music and his memory, made you walk up to the lively celebration, the dancing and singing of the event lightening your mood once again, the drums playing in beat with your heart, you bob your head to the music, enjoying yourself for once today, you didn't wear any festive clothing, just your day to day tweng and beaded top, taking a seat near the fire with a drink in your hand, ~this isn't that bad after all, right?~ You asked yourself as a small smile played on your lips, but your thoughts were proved wrong as your eyes fell on the very people you wanted to avoid, your heart sinking down as you saw Ronal putting her arms around tonowari's neck, while he looked constipated to be around her.

Any plans about staying around for the event vanished as you made eye contact with him and he gave you a small smile and a little wave but you were too focused on ronal's hand tracing up his torso and chest, her cheek pressed on his shoulder, you had enough of this scene and got up Huffing, he watched worried as you left the premises after seeing him while Ronal giggled at something she said, who were you kidding? Of course he'd chose her, she's perfect in every way possible than you could ever be, you burst through your mauri and to your hammock, just laying there staring at the ceiling, you were so stupid to fall in love with your best friend but you couldn't do anything now but just watch everything as you die inside little by little everyday watching them together.

A knock on the rim of your mauri brought you back out of your thoughts, you hurriedly wiped your tear stained face getting up to see who it was but stopped in your tracks as tonowari leaned on the entrance, looking at you with a concerned expression "y/n-" he said as he came inside but you were frozen to the spot, he walked towards you, his hand resting on the back of your neck "y/n are you alright? Why did you leave the celebration?" He asked looking into your eyes but you looked away, turning around to your hammock as you played with the strings, your back facing him, not allowing yourself to breakdown in front of him right now "I'm okay, you can go back to Ronal, she must be waiting for you, it's your celebration after all" you spoke in a soft, quiet voice, he looked puzzled at that, after much consideration, he came up behind you, his palm coming down on your waist and you turned around surprised, gazing at him confused, he smiled down at you "why did you leave, y/n? Are you not happy for me?" He asked worry plastered over his face but his question was filled with patience, you felt your walls breaking down at his tone, you were undone by him.

"No– eywa, no! I'm so happy for you, wari, i- i left because…" you couldn't bring yourself to say it, he looked worried as you stopped mid sentence "because what, y/n?" His words were filled with determination, he wanted to get to the bottom of your troubles, this time you didn't hold back "I left because I saw you were busy with your future mate, i didn't want to disturb you and her, it's better i leave before it gets worse for me" your voice getting quieter and quieter with each word but still you stood your ground, eyes glazed with unshed tears, tail curling and swishing behind you "what-? Ronal?! What are you-" then it hit him as if he was thrown into ice cold waters of the ocean, his whole demeanor changed as towered over you, with a quick Maneuver he pulled you closer to him as he snaked his arms around your waist while you stood in shock, pressed up against his chest "who said i wanted her in the first place, tiyawn?" He smirked, his other arm moving to caress your neck, now you looked at him puzzled "wari? What.." but his eyes gazing into yours gave you all the answers you were searching for.

He was glad he followed you here, his long buried secrets were finally being true now, he couldn't contain his happiness, he leaned down his face centimeters away from yours, his eyes falling to your lips then back to your own eyes again "may I?" He asked politely, your heart was beating so fast it could have traveled all across Pandora by now, your mind was racing, this was the one thing you wanted this whole time and now that the opportunity is in front of you, you were a nervous wreck but that didn't stop you from nodding and crashing your lips against his finally, throwing caution to the wind, you wrapped your arms around his neck, fingers curling in his soft curls as his bigs hands pulled you in by your waist, fitting perfectly in your curves as his hands didn't just stop there, going up and tracing small circles with his thumb on your ribs, the kiss was sweet, filled with want and unattended love you felt for each other all these years, you pulled back gasping for air as you smiled like you never did before, he had the same expression as he picked you up in his big arms, spinning you around before kissing you once again "ohh you don't know how long I've waited for this moment" he mumbled happily against your lips, nuzzling his nose to your cheek as you giggled lightly, as this was your dream come true as well.

He sat down on the floor, pulling you into his lap while he unhooked the necklace sitting around his neck and presented it in front of you "will you, (y/n), accept this necklace as my token of love, for the start of our courtship?" You were stunned, you couldn't believe this was happening, no words formed in your mind to speak up, pulling yourself together at last "yes- oh great mother, a thousand times yes!" You squealed hugging him tightly, squeezing him to your heart's content as he laughed, hugging you back while quickly slipping the necklace around your throat, then resting his arms around you firmly, everything was going just perfectly until a gasp was heard from the entrance of your mauri and both your heads snapped to the opening.

Ronal stumbled in, her mouth dropped to form a 'O', the beads and shells if her top and loin cloth clinking together as she walked towards us, tonowari immediately got up, pulling you up with him as your eyes were as wide as saucers, terrified of what she might do you "HOW DARE YOU?!" She charged forward towards you but tonowari got in between, shielding you from her as he glared daggers down at her form "Back off, right now or it won't end good, Ronal" he spoke sternly and for once you were the smug one and she was the one gawking at you two, her eyes welled up with tears "This is wrong!! You were supposed to be mine!" She whined like a child at him, stomping her foot, he rolled his eyes at her "we were *supposed* to end up together, not *have* to, so please I will advise you to stop embarrassing yourself" he said just as annoyed as he always was with her around.

A small group of crowd accumulated outside your tent, they were all her friends, watching Ronal breaking down in front of him and you felt sympathetic for her, getting out of your cover from behind his back, you kneeled down next to her, you knew she truly did love him "hey, I'm sorry-" but you didn't get to finish your sentence as she shoved you back and tonowari growled at her, baring his teeth, instantly pulling you up and behind him protectively, Ronal was taken aback at his act of defense against her, she got up and ran out of the tent, crying, the small crowd of her friends following behind, you sighed, you knew they will now harass you for weeks or even months but you felt bad for your sister, she was your older sister and you felt guilty to hurt her like this but the damage was done, tonowari saw this and pulled you into his arms, kissing your temple lovingly, rubbing your back "shh, it's okay, she was bound to feel this way, it's not your fault and even if she wouldn't have seen us, i was planning to say no to her in the end anyways, so please don't blame yourself over this" his voice like first rays of sunlight, bright and peaceful, you relaxed at his words, looking up at him smiling once again, laying your head on his chest "thank you" you whispered, protected and safe in his arms, his mere presence filling you with such warm comfort as he smiled down at you, his mind screaming in happiness as he knew he made the best decision to say how he felt rather than hiding it, now you were his, his to protect and more importantly, you his to love, forever by eywa's grace.

A/n : i need more tonowari x reader rahhhhhh, i love his big body soo much *faints*

Yawne : @fanboyluvr, @callmeoncette, @lu-the-ghost-reader, @brisbriskett, @saltedcoffeescotch, @ducks118, @itscheybaby, @jackiehollanderr, @elriel-4-ever, @zoetrope1997, @yeosxxx, @persefolli, @im-in-a-pansexual-panik, @teyamsbitch, @elijangwifey, @erosthefae, @murderbirbdany, @thearabloak06, @killua2dot0, @ilovechickenwings, @kylobensgirl, @darling-imobsessed, @majathepapaya, @sweetirilly, @reinap06, @neteyamforlife, @thatgirljas13, @totesnothere04, @arminsgfloll, @babyqueen17, @kikookii, @bigbadsofty07, @g-l-1-t-c-h-3-r, @urfavpansexual.

© Neteyamyawne 2023 | All Rights Reserved. Do not repost on other platforms, copy, steal, or translate any of my works!

[itsclydebitches]

Cinder is a lot more sexualized then the male parts of Salem's inner circle

Like tyrian is shirtless sometimes but that does not feel as...drawn attention to, as say, the lingering shots of Cinder's butt or thighs. Or her wearing short shorts and high boots you know what I mean?

I do, anon. RWBY got a lot of attention back in the day for its anti-upskirt technology, but that doesn't give it a free pass for all the other ways you might (and it does) sexualize the cast. I've never been inclined to give RWBY too much shit in this regard because it is pulling from media with a LONG history of such designs and cinematography - it feels unfair of me to act like RWBY is uniquely responsible for such problems when I'm simultaneously willing to overlook, say, the 90's "gag" of Yusuke flipping up Keiko's skirt - but there's nevertheless a voice in the back of my mind constantly asking things like, "Why are so many of the girls fighting in heels?" and "Why are they dressed like they're going to the club and not the literal TUNDRA??" I'd kill for the whole cast, but the girls in particular, to get a re-design that focuses on fashionably compelling practicality, rather than sexy fanservice. (Though Ice Kingdom did a good job overall, particularly for Ruby.) Sure, RWBY didn't give us panty-shots, but one of the first characters we're introduced to is literally designed like a dominatrix.

If we're talking about outfits though... I'd say Emerald gets hit the worst out of Salem's minions. Yeah, Cinder is definitely sexualized in a more general sense as the tall, white (that's not a coincidence), long-legged beauty who sensually conjures fire as she prowls towards the heroes, camera focused on her hips swaying. But Emerald?

She suffers from the same problem Yang has. AKA, if your woman isn't classically beautiful (like Wiess and to a different extent Blake), or cute / child-like (Ruby, Penny), but is instead going for a sporty, comparatively masculine-esque vibe... then they've got to show a LOT of skin. RWBY makes it sexy by just denying them clothes. You're entering dangerous battles on the daily? You want to protect yourself? Too bad. The audience needs a midriff and cleavage and your whole arms to stare at. Shorten the skin-tight pants so we can see some leg too. Oh, Yang has to have long pants because she's heading into the coldest Kingdom in Remnant? Never mind that, cut a strip out to show her thigh.

"But Clyde, the girls don't need to wear armor because of aura--" then why the hell does Jaune bother wearing that heavy-ass suit? Is it weight training? Does he just think it makes him look cool? ...or does it exist in case his aura breaks and he's allowed to wear more protective gear because there are different gender expectations attached to his design? The aura argument is just a modern rehashing of the Supergirl sun argument: using made up lore to "justify" getting your women characters into skimpy outfits, despite the men rarely being held to the same standards.

Tyrian is actually an interesting exception here and if I were less tired I'd think through this argument more, but something something as the "crazy" character he's allowed more leeway in breaking those expectations. Also the open shirt shows off his scars, which likewise help sell how dangerous he is. With the exception of characters like Cinder and Nora - whose injuries are Important Character Moments the audience gets to see play out - scars are surprisingly uncommon in Remanent. Or, again, they're severely downplayed so as not to interfere with that classic beauty design (like Weiss', or even Yang who gets a perfect cut when losing her arm). So when you see a character with giant scars spanning the length of his chest, an open shirt drawing deliberate attention to them... that makes you go, "Oh shit. What's he been through to scar like that in a world where most people make it out of fights with no permanent damage?"

[whereshadowsthrive]

I'm probably one of like 3 people who still plays Neopets on this website but I need to discuss this image- A rundown: there's been a fuck ton of discourse over the Seasonal Attack Pea (SAP for short) item being introduced into the neopets trading economy via random chance through the yearly advent calendar they do.

The Seasonal Attack Pea (from my understanding as someone who's never engaged with the Battledome mechanic until like 3 weeks ago despite having played Neopets for 18 of my 28 years on planet Earth) is one of the single best items in the game, and turbo expensive. We're talking 9 figures worth of neopoints. Maybe 10. It's initial distribution also made it so ludicrously sparse. Only 100 existed and it was released in 2002. This thing is a *grail* item in Neopets, is what I'm saying. Things like getting Invincible to drop or a full odds shiny pokemon are child's play videogame achievements compared to getting any of the Attack Peas. Dec 1 rolls around and suddenly players are reporting in staggering numbers that they got Seasonal Attack Peas from the advent calendar and all hell breaks loose. The fat cat neopets players are all mad that their items are being devalued to hell event after event and the proletariat masses are excited to see the neopets economy in shambles so they can finally own grail items, it's chaos and I personally love it. There's conspiracies on reddit about it that I can barely parse and don't care to get into. Anyway, so I just logged in to get my free stuff, do my dailies, drink my 4:30 am soda pop and see Dr. Who Mr. Orion O. Ophiuchus the Shadow Ogrin in *shambles* talking about how we need to stop the Advent Calendar and it's making it seem like he's baring the brunt of the Seasonal Attack Pea discourse and I'm HOWLING right now. My man literally just got introduced as a character to this game in like... May of this year??? And now it looks like he's being pinned to the cross of the Seasonal Attack Pea discourse- Like I doubt this was intentional but I choose to believe Orion did an oopsy and is The One reason for the chaotic mass redistribution of wealth across Neopets.

[japeneselunchtimerush]

So, I was think about Akashi(a daily occurence) and I noticed something

Beautiful right?

You see the lines under his eyes?

I think they are eye bags(dark circles??)

If they arent eyebags then feel free to take whatever I say next with a grain of salt.

I compared it with other characters and

Kise is a model so obviously he isnt allowed to have eyebags, so of course he gets his beauty rest.

Not very prominent but there is still a line, probably from playing basketball late into the night.

Like Kagami, Mayuyu also has that line obviously because he stays up until 1 am reading light novels.

Im not gonna include the other characters but you get the idea

Now, back to akashi

Ive realized that fjmk draws more than one line under akashi's eyes and it make me wonder whether he has deeper eyebags because it makes sense to his character

Its also more prominent as compared to other characters

The boy obviously as a lot of work to do what with being top student, student council president, basketball team captain, other work from his father etc. So Im pretty sure he gets the bare minimum of sleep everyday.

In conclusion, akashi seijuro has eyebags because he is an overworked child pass it on

[plague-of-insomnia]

I ship sebaciel but I only like their dynamic, in my head I imagine an adult Ciel and I only read fanfics when Ciel is way over 18 and can decide by himself/not be manipulated. I was raped when I was 15, I could never ship something like that. But anti pro shippers never bother to see the nuance. I'm afraid if I start publicly shipping it, people will call me a pedo lol Also I think that the ones who like the age gap still can't be compared to real pedos who consume lolicon/ realistic drawings who REALLY resemble children and explicitly are in a setting of a child being molested. I see incels doing that, and the kuro fandom is mostly women.

Hi, anon. Sorry I didn’t reply yesterday. I had COVID a couple weeks ago and now have bronchitis and i just ran out of gas to formulate a response I felt this ask merited.

First of all, I’m sorry that happened to you. I hope you’ve been able to get past it enough that it doesn’t affect your daily life too badly 🫂.

Sadly, a lot of antis act as if they’re the only ones who have been victims of (sexual) abuse, and that any survivor who doesn’t behave the way they do either must be lying or “deserved” what they got— which is absolutely awful to do to anyone.

As I’m sure you’re aware, we’re not a monolith. Some survivors find rape play (whether role play or in fictional works) helps them move past their trauma because it helps them to have the control they didn’t have as victims. But others find it triggering and upsetting and not helpful at all— and that’s valid too.

I personally don’t ship sc anymore mostly because I just don’t click with Ciel in the ship the way I do with other pairings. I also personally get very very uncomfortable with some underage depictions. For example, there was a fantastic sc fan fic a few years ago that I had to stop reading. It is one of the best written works in the fandom, but it just made me so uncomfortable (it’s underage) I had to stop.

But what did I do? Did i leave the author an angry message saying I was not gonna read it? No, ofc not. I just clicked away.

So if for you, you need situations in which you feel Ciel can fully consent/is in control to feel comfortable and happy then that’s perfectly valid! There’s no one “right” way to ship anything, and you have to look out for yourself first. Because we come to fandom to have fun and escape, so no need to delve into things you don’t like or that make you uncomfortable.

Antis are incapable of seeing these kinds of nuances, or realizing that purposefully consuming content that upsets you is self harm.

Sadly, if you openly ship sc (or even aren’t absolutely against it) you may get some hate. I know I have gotten my share, and it’s *always* about Ciel, no matter how I’ve depicted other characters or what ages they are in my stories. But I’ve also gotten hate for being a fujoshi (misgendering me at that) more than once, and some of it even before I joined the fandom… for my original work.

My point is that people are gonna attack you if they’re gonna attack you…. if you’re not willing to take that risk by being public about your ship that’s valid too. I definitely get how exhausting antis can be and if you’re just wanting to stare at your blorbos for a bit you don’t wanna be fighting of negativity left and right too.

It’s a shame that antis have started using the word pedo as a word for anyone they dislike, devaluing it, but the real shame imo is that they refuse to see that actual CSEM is bad not because it’s gross or immoral but because it harms actual children, who grow up to be adults with trauma.

I think it’s very important to distinguish actual CSEM (or “fictional works” that were intentionally modeled off real CSEM) from anything that’s purely fictional. Because you can never really know why someone made something or why someone likes something.

I write about child abuse, sexual and not, a lot because I find it very therapeutic, but someone might read my works and may draw other, completely erroneous conclusions about me and my motives.

I honestly think a huge chunk of the kuro fandom is nonbinary, but I don’t really know the demographics. I’m sure they’re slightly different depending on if you’re looking at the western or eastern fandoms…

But women can be toxic just like anyone else. Some of the absolute most vile antis I’ve seen identify as female.

Ultimately, I think that the best thing to do with the fandom (or any fandom, really) is to curate your experience. Block accounts that trigger you or don’t vibe with you. Find like-minded friends to chat with in private, so you don’t have to worry about strangers hopping on what you say. Filter tags and use apps if you need to.

I think it’s a shame that antis are so vocal in the fandom and have divided it so much. As a multishipper not much into sc, I have definitely felt that fracture more than some others, since sadly too many non-sc shippers think they need to scream about how icky that ship is and be jerks when we could just ignore sc entirely and enjoy the other ships we like instead together?

But the no matter what antis claim, sc shippers have always been and will always be the column that holds the fandom up, and you either need to make peace with it or learn to ignore it.

🫶

My ask box is open for anyone who doesn’t feel comfortable being open about their love for kuro but would like to squee over it/the new series with someone who doesn’t mind listening :)

[monrohakay]

I would love to see hear more about your headcannon about nico

Have a good day

Oh my goodness, I could go on forever about him and what I imagine his backstory to be. I’m so sorry for how long this will be, but you’ve unleashed a can of worms and I thank you for that! So here we go!

It started with me being convinced that if Nico and Kai ever met, they would have a rivalry going on and Levi and Amelia would find it adorable yet slightly annoying cuz they get along so well. And Levi would tell Nico not to annoy his mentor’s partner, but Amelia would just laugh.

We don’t know much about where Nico’s from or his family, except that he’s not out to them even thou he was out to people in his daily life and they can be really critical. So I imagine he grew up in a traditional Korean Italian home (cuz Alex Landi is Korean Italian, and I have person experience with homophobic Italian family members so I’m projecting). He’s a middle child with two brothers. He gives off competitive energy that comes with having siblings, and kinda seems like he’s used to being overlooked and fighting for attention, like a middle child.

His older brother (I’m going to refer to him as Siwon since that’s who I imagine his actor to be) is something his parents deem successful, I’m thinking a lawyer cuz I want Nico to have a totally different career path then him. He was an honours student, always top of his class. He has a beautiful wife (who he met in highschool), a son and a daughter on the way. His life is perfect in his parents eyes. He’s maybe two or three years older than Nico. Nico always felt like he was in his brother’s shadow, but he respected and looked up to him. I feel like their parents would constantly be comparing the two, like “Siwon was valedictorian, are you going to be?” and “Nico was nominated for homecoming king, are you nominated for prom king?”

His younger brother (referred to as Rowoon for the same reason as his older brother) is five or six years younger, and he’s spoiled by their parents. While they’re critical of the older two, the youngest is their pride and joy and they don’t mind him doing whatever he wants because the other two are successful enough. Rowoon loves Nico and idolizes him in almost the same way that Nico did with his older brother. But Nico is much kinder and receptive to it, and he’s always supportive to Rowoon. I think Rowoon would have much more natural talent and smarts, so he doesn’t have to work as hard as the other two and he has a lot less pressure. While the other two were expected to have a 98-100% average in everything, Rowoon’s sitting at like 95% and their parents are still proud of him.

Nico was raised with traditional catholic Italian and Korean views being shoved at him. So when he starts realizing he might like boys, it’s not exactly something he can come out and say or act on while he’s living with his parents. He probably wanted to go into sports, (likely baseball or soccer, but we’ll go with baseball cuz of his job with the mariners) rather then law or med school. He played baseball in highschool, getting scholarships to play for a few varsity teams. Only for his parents to push him to go to law school like Siwon, which he reluctantly agrees, figuring he can go in to sports law.

While Nico is in his last year of highschool, early on in the year, he meets this boy who he has a crush on. And they start seeing each other in secret. Until one night Siwon catches them, probably the cliche making out in Nico’s room when his brother barges in and freaks out. He kicks the boy out and tells Nico he needs to stop seeing him. Nico says he will as long as his brother doesn’t tell their parents and Siwon agrees, saying their parents can never find out. But having Siwon react in such a negative way ruins the image Nico had of him. So he decides he doesn’t want to go to law school, he wants to persue baseball mostly in defiance.

His parents hate that idea, and really push for him to still go to law school. He ignores them and does start to persue baseball in his undergrad, taking one of the scholar ships he was offered. He’s incredibly talented so while they aren’t happy, his parents still support him as long as he continues to be one of the best players on his team and maintains his high grades.

In his first year he gets an injury, something that requires surgery to fix. But the surgery goes wrong, and his career in baseball is over before it could ever really start. Despite pushing himself with physio and working as hard as he can to get back to being able to play, it’s just not possible in the time frame he would need for professional sports. He takes it incredibly hard, and while Rowoon is his major support system, his parents and Siwon treat it like a failure. So Nico decides to go to med school, to become an orthopaedic surgeon and make sure no one else has to go through what he did. His parents are ecstatic about the change, and it’s the first time he feels like they’re actually proud of him.

He quickly catches up, becoming top of his classes. He thrives in university, coming out to his friends and he’s genuinely happy.

But he still feels like he has to hide who he is when he’s at home and he hates it. He never has a boyfriend for long, because then he’d have to deal with bringing them home and coming out. It never mattered cuz he hadn’t met anyone he wanted to be with long term. But it’s still a massive part of his identity that he’s hiding from his parents and Rowoon, still scared they’d react in the same way his Siwon did. And while he would probably come out to his parents and risk it, he doesn’t want to loose Rowoon or put him at odds with their parents, especially while he’s still living with them.

So years later when he meets Levi, he doesn’t want to have to hide who he is in the only place he can be open. He’s hypocritical because he thinks Levi doesn’t have as much to loose as Nico and he sees it as wasted opportunity. And Nico doesn’t want to be that highschool boy his brother kicked out of his room all those years ago. He doesn’t want Levi to be ashamed of him like Nico was of that boy, and he doesn’t want the memories of being ashamed of himself and who he was to come back while Levi discovers his own sexuality.

Nico’s never had someone he cares that much about, never wanted to actually bring someone home to meet his parents or his brothers. But then he falls hard for Levi and suddenly it’s turning serious and he doesn’t know what to do about it. So he’s awkward and hypocritical and a pretty terrible boyfriend at times, but he is trying.

Then he accidentally kills a patient. And Siwon is showing up to make sure legally he doesn’t get in trouble. His parents find out through Siwon, and they seem disappointed which only adds to his pain. And Levi being overbearing while Siwon is in town doesn’t help, because he doesn’t want his brother to find out he has a serious relationship with a man. He’s also not good with emotions, or people seeing him when he’s emotional, which is why he pulls away so much.

And then the pandemic happens and he really misses Levi. He knows he’s not emotionally ready to commit to anyone yet, and they aren’t really good for each other at the time. But he figures if he can have Levi in any way he’s going to take it, cuz the world is a mess and he needs some kind of happiness. When Levi basically gives him the ultimatum of serious relationship or nothing, he chooses serious relationship. Because he doesn’t want to loose Levi, and it’s a huge wake up call that he really does care about someone in a way he never had before.

I think Levi pushing Nico away after he opened up to Levi hurt, really bad. Cuz Nico had never let himself be that vulnerable with another person, and he didn’t know how to cope with that. So he gave Levi the space that he wanted when he went through a similar experience. Not really realizing that Levi needed him to be there and to fight for them, until Levi told him. But even though he’s come so far and started to unravel his closed off, emotionless persona adopted by someone who’s parents didn’t let them be a child, Nico knows he can’t give Levi what he wants, not when he’s still dealing with his own internalized homophobia and inability to be honest with himself and his family. He thinks Levi deserves someone who is ready to be all in, and even though he thought he could be, that’s not him, not yet.

Nico saying his default is numb is really telling that he can’t process his feelings right away, he suppresses them. Which would make sense if he’s grown up with critical parents that expect him to be perfect all the time. He wouldn’t know how to deal with failure or rejection, because he’s never had the luxury of doing any of those things. Even loosing his ability to play baseball professionally wouldn’t have been a failure to him, because it led him to being a surgeon which his parents were much happier about. And I think that reflects in his relationships too, that when there’s any kind of conflict he just shuts down, he goes numb. He either gets overly agreeable or he pulls away from the situation entirely. And I think he started to realize that it’s not a healthy coping mechanism after his talk with Levi in the elevator.

So he jumps at the opportunity to leave and work for the Mariners. It’s a dream job, it’s one of the reason he decided to go to med school in the first place, and it gives him and Levi space to figure themselves out. It lets Levi experience different relationships and find himself, while Nico learns to deal with his emotions and not suppress them. But while he’s there, he finds out he hates it. He doesn’t like having to tell these athletes that their careers are over, he doesn’t like feeling like he failed him when there was nothing he could do. It reminds him of when he was going through the exact same thing. Even if his success rate is the highest it’s ever been, he still doesn’t think he’s good enough. Saving fifty patients doesn’t mean anything if there’s even one he can’t.

And then Rowoon finishes his undergraduate and moves out of their parents house. He goes to visit Nico and they have a long talk about what Rowoon wants to do with his career. He decided a long time ago that he wanted to follow in Nico’s footsteps and go in to medicine. And while he’s visiting, he sees that Nico’s background is still a photo of him and Levi, so Rowoon asks if that’s Nico’s boyfriend. And Nico is shocked because he didn’t know Rowoon knew. They have a heart to heart, and Nico realizes he doesn’t have to hide who he is anymore. Even if his parents aren’t happy with him, he has his little brother’s love and support, which is all that’s ever really mattered to him anyway. And even if he isn’t perfect, there are still people who will love him.

So he leaves his job and goes back to Grey-Sloan, mostly because he preferred it, but also with the hope that he and Levi can at least be friends again. He wins Levi back, and finally introduces him to Rowoon. And to show Levi he really has changed, that he really is committed to their relationship, he invites Levi to his parent’s for Christmas dinner. It goes over horribly, his dad almost kicks them out and only relents to letting them stay when his mother says they can at least finish dinner, as it’s the holidays. It’s worth it to see the look of horror on Siwon’s face when he says Levi is his boyfriend, and the look of admiration Rowoon gives him when he holds Levi’s hand as they say goodbye.

I think Nico coming back this next season will be him saying I was just trying to give you space, but I always loved you and I will always be here for you when you’re ready. It’s kind of a repeat of the last time they got back together, but I’m hoping it’ll stick this time and they can have their happy ending. If nothing else, I just want them to keep his personality somewhat consistent.

I’ll finish with my Kai vs Nico thing that started it all! We never learn where he went to school, or how old he is. We can guess he’s early 30’s when he’s first introduced (I’m assuming he was on track with the norm, so when he’s introduced, he’s in his fellowship and he’d be 30-31). What we know about Kai (thanks to my best friend who has an incredible memory) is they went to John Hopkins a few years after Amelia. E.R. is only a year older then Alex, which I’m taking to mean their characters are a year apart as well. So we’ll say Nico is 31 when he’s introduced, meaning Kai would be 32.

While they wouldn’t have much overlap if Nico went to med school at John Hopkins while Kai was going for their phd, they could have very well done their undergrad at the same university and that’s where I think the rivalry would have started.

Kai is smart as hell, and I have no doubt they would be top of their classes. I think depending on the class it would go back and forth, but I really do think Kai would be beat Nico more often and he would hate that. It’s a healthy rivalry, there’s no actual animosity. I see them both as fun and sarcastic people, so I think they’d have amazing banter. And someone like Kai being smarter then Nico wouldn’t bother him as much, because they just have this aura that makes them impossible to hate? Even thou Nico is really frustrated that someone scored higher on a test, he wouldn’t really be too hard on himself if it’s Kai that beat him.

Because I can see him being really upset with himself the first time it happens, and he swears it will never happen again. So he pushes himself even harder for the next test and he does beat Kai. And then Kai would give the most relaxed non-reaction, would probably even congratulate him, and Nico wouldn’t know how to process that. He’s be so used to Siwon taking any loss so poorly, that someone being almost happy for him beating them is too foreign for him to comprehend. It would be the first step to Nico relaxing a little bit on his perfect persona, and allowing himself to slip. Which sets him up for when we meet him in the show, he’s a lot more chill and easy going, but still guarded.

This is so long omg, I’ll start to wrap it up!

Flash forward to Nico and Levi dating, and Kai and Amelia dating (no they never broke up in my head, they’re happy and will be for the rest of their lives, it’s fine. But even if they did, they found their way back to each other like Nico and Levi). Every time Kai comes to visit Amelia, they bicker with Nico. And no one knows it’s light hearted except the two of them. It would stress Levi out, thinking Nico was fighting with his mentor’s partner. I like the idea of Levi going in to general surgery, so while Amelia isn’t wouldn’t be the head of his department, she will always be a mentor figure to him and someone he respects.

Flash forward again, Rowoon does follow in Nico’s footsteps and comes to Grey-Sloan for his internship. He starts off thinking he’ll go in to ortho like his brother but quickly finds he gravitates more towards neuro. And then Kai comes to work on a project with Amelia, and they pick Rowoon to help them out. And he loves the research aspect of their project. He starts looking into it more and more. And ultimately decides, with the help of Kai, to switch into neuroscience rather then complete his surgical internship.

Nico is of course devastated that his little brother chose to work with Kai over him. But he’s a good older brother and supports everything Rowoon does, even if it means listening to him talk about how amazing Kai and the research they’re doing is for hours.

That’s all I got. Thank you anon for asking about his backstory and thanks to anyone who read this far! I would love to hear your thoughts on his backstory too, or any general greys thoughts you might have!

[nikakistos]

Did Mikasa (re)marry?

Exactly three years ago, i wrote a post with the title "Mikasa will kill Eren". I haven't written a lot about AoT since then. I still keep AoT in my heart and i read news and posts about it daily. Although i do not participate that much in discussions about it, i still read what other people have to say. This is about to change. Yes, i know that the anime ended 3 months ago and i know that AoT's time in the spotlight is probably gone for good, with very few events ahead of us. In time, people will move on to other works. That is the cycle of life for fans of stories of any medium. And yet, now, more than ever, i want to start writing about AoT and my favorite characters (Mikasa, Eren etc) again. I will begin by offering my view on whether or not Mikasa married or, more accurately in my opinion, remarried after Eren's unfortunate end.

Why remarry?

Why do i use the term remarry? After all, Mikasa and Eren were never officially married. There was no ceremony, no rings, no nothing. If anything, in the physical world, the last time Mikasa and Eren spoke was when Eren told her he hated her. That is indeed true. However, Mikasa and Eren spent quite some time in the paths together (be it months, years, or a few minutes). The realm of the paths is (was) not a dream place. It wasn't something fictional. It was reality, just like Armin described it in chapter 136. It is a different dimension where time goes by very differently compared to the physical world.

Eren brought all of his friends in there to speak to them and reveal his true intentions. With Armin, he also went on a journey, visiting all the places they wanted to see. With Mikasa, after talking to her about his plan, they decided to forget it all and spend their time together. They replayed the "What am i to you" scene from chapter 123 and Mikasa chose to express her true feelings to him, while also telling him to run away together. Eren then grabbed her arm and they escaped to the mountain cabin. From the way they act towards each other, it is easy to tell that they viewed themselves as husband and wife. This is also showcased by what Mikasa wrote in Eren's tombstone. The last word is "あなた", which typically means "you" in japanese, but, when used by a spouse to her husband, it means "sweetheart, dear etc". So, it is obvious that for Mikasa, Eren was her husband and the same holds true for Eren. This means that if Mikasa were to marry, it would be her second marriage, or, at the very least, this is how it would seem to her. For all intents and purposes, Eren and Mikasa were husband and wife in the Paths and after his death, Mikasa is presented as a widow.

The extra pages and the songs

Anyone who was reading the manga during its run knows that the original ending, the one shown in the Bessatsu Shonen Magazine, had Mikasa thanking Eren for wrapping the scarf around her while the bird was flying away. The bonus pages expanded the original ending and showed Mikasa visiting Eren's grave again and again, once with a man and a newborn child, still young, and once accompanied by two couples and their young children, while old. The difference between the two is also reflected in the episodic format of the anime ending, where the bonus pages do not appear and the closing song is different. Instead of "二千年… 若しくは… 二万年後の君へ・・・", which played in the special version, the episodic format uses "いってらっしゃい".

The episodic format provides an emotional closure for the relationship between Eren and Mikasa. The lyrics of the song reveal that Mikasa wants to and believes that she will meet Eren again. The original animation of the ED song implies that Eren and Mikasa do meet again in the afterlife after Mikasa's death. They are now free to be with each other for eternity.

The special format represents the theme of "life goes on". Wars never end permanently. They are just interrupted by long periods of peace. The same applies to Mikasas' life. In the anime, Eren's grave is visited by all of his friends, exactly 3 years after his death. Exactly 11 years after his death (7 winters and 8 springs after his friends visit his grave, slow it down as much as possible and count the season changes), Mikasa visits his grave with a man and a child. This scene has 2 very popular interpretations. One is that Mikasa married someone (Jean) and had a child with him and the other one says that Mikasa remained single and virgin forever and that the kid is adopted and that the man is Armin.

Let's start with the second option. The major arguments are that (in the manga) Mikasa still covers her Hizuru tattoo with the bandages and that she she offers roses to Eren's grave and that the number of the roses signify that she never found someone else. Some people also argue that Mikasa loving someone else romantically goes against her character.

I do not agree with this interpretation. Covering her tattoo does not mean that she didn't pass it down to her children and even if she didn't pass it down, it doesn't mean she didn't have kids. Also, in the anime, the flowers she offers are not roses. I would agree that it would be out of character for Mikasa to find someone else, but only as long as Eren was alive. It would probably take her a very long time, but if the right man appeared, maybe she could fall in love again.

During Eren's crying tantrum about Mikasa to Armin, he mentioned that if she were to find someone else it should take her 10 years at least. The anime went out of its way to show Mikasa appearing with her new family, a man and a newborn kid exactly 11 years after his death. This points towards Mikasa remarrying. The anime also added a ring to her left ring finger during her funeral scene. The lyrics that play during Mikasa's visits to Eren's grave with her new family are these "時が運んだ 穏やかな日々 手向けた花のように秘めた言葉は 誰にも告げず逝く". This means that the time brought gentle days to Mikasa and she kept her feelings for Eren to her heart, with the flowers and the words on the tombstone revealing their true extent. In my opinion this showcases that Mikasa spent peaceful days with her new family, but she kept her feelings to Eren deep in her heart, as shown by her constant offering of flowers to his grave and the words she wrote in the gravestone.

For me the biggest indication that Mikasa did remarry is the fact that these scenes exist in the first place, both in the manga and in the anime. Isayama felt the need to show these images, when the Magazine ending was very open to interpretation. There would be no point to adding these scenes, only to make the ending more ambiguous. The bonus pages are there to clarify what happens to Mikasa's life and the island in the long years after Eren's death, not to muddy the waters. If Isayama wanted the ending to be completely open to interpretation, then there would be no reason for the new pages.

Why Jean?

Shipping wars are part of most fandoms and the AoT fandom is no exception. During its run, the biggest rivalry was the one between the EM and EH supporters. Now it is between EM and JK fans. EH was never a thing in the story, but the relationship between Eren and Mikasa was the most important in the story. The entirety of Attack on Titan is built based on the relationship between its male and female leads. They are the backbone of the story and without them there would be no AoT. Of course, a tragic conclusion for them hurts people. Especially when Mikasa eventually gets married to someone that, during the duration of the plot, she didn't show any interest. But, this is not really relevant. The moment Eren died, the plot pretty much ended. The plot does not follow Mikasa's healing process and family life, because it doesn't affect anything. Also, it is so far into the future that the characters involved are practically different people. Maybe in the future Isayama will show this development in a short story, like he will do with Levi in vol. 35, but, for now, this is just an additional detail that is only 3 panels long.

Even without mentioning the physical aspects of the man shown next to Mikasa, Jean, throughout the story has been presented as the "Eren-lite". He is second best to Eren and he compares himself to his "rival". He is jealous of how much Mikasa cares about Eren, he places directly under him in training, he views him as more courageous, strong and cool than him. On the other hand, Jean is presented as a mentally stable person, while Eren is not. Jean of course can never be as passionate as Eren and he can't match Eren's kindness when Eren is kind, but he could also never be as cruel as Eren. He disguises as Eren throughout the story and he is presents himself as the best successor for Eren's titan. Most importantly, Jean shares a special connection with Eren, he understands him and he loves him.

So, it is no suprise that Isayama would have him end up with Mikasa after Eren's death. There really is no one better for Mikasa. Jean is the best option if she can't be with Eren. He cared for her throughout the series, protected her once and he even tried to paint Eren in a better light after the latter offended Mikasa. He is also the only one who can understand her love for Eren and still be with her without getting jealous over the fact that she would never be able to love him as much as she loved Eren. This is something that even Jean's voice actor expressed in the recent Attack on Titan festival that celebrated the 10 years since the beginning of the anime. He felt that Jean got to be with Mikasa and he was comforting her, but he knew that he could never replace Eren in her heart. Yui Ishikawa, Mikasa's voice actress, also said that for Mikasa, no matter how many years pass and how many things she experiences throughout her long lifespan, Eren will always be the number 1 in her heart.

Does that diminish her love for Jean? Does that mean that she never truly loved Eren? No. It simply means that Mikasa fell in love again, 10 years after Eren's death, with a man who is as close to Eren as possible. Jean most likely won her over. She didn't marry him out of some desparate need to be with a man, but because she found the strength in her heart to love someone again, even if it wasn't to the same extent as before. That doesn't make her dirty or impure, like some fans want to believe. This obsession with virginity is frankly stupid. First of all, Mikasa, by the time the she remarries, is, probably not a virgin. Unless she only spent a few minutes with Eren in the world of the paths, the two of them probably did more things than just talking and fishing. Even if she were, virginity is nothing special. Mikasa marrying someone else and having kids with him does not mean Eren got cucked. It doesn't mean that Jean won against Eren Mikasa still loving Eren does not mean that Jean got cucked by a dead man, nor does it mean that he got damaged goods. These points of view are ridiculous and are only expressed by very immature individuals and/or incels. Jean is probably somewhat sad that Mikasa and Eren didn't get to live the life they wanted together and he is probably thankful to Eren for giving him the chance to live his dream life. Jean is not the type to gloat or ridicule his dead comrade, nor the type of guy to be bitter, because Mikasa loved Eren so much.

Mikasa moved forward with her life (not moved on, widows hate this term, because it is closer to forgetting your previous spouse), without ever forgetting her big love or changing her feelings for him. And in the end, after spending many decades with her new family, she passed away peacefully and reunited with her most beloved person in the world in the afterlife. For some, Mikasa reuniting with Eren in the afterlife means that she didn't remarry, because her husband should be her soulmate and if she is with Eren she didn't have a second husband. I disagree here as well. There is no information about how the afterlife works and making assumptions about it based on real world theology is dumb. People can love more than once. If your last spouse is your soulmate, then what happens to people like Grisha? The only thing we can do is go by what is shown and what is shown is that Mikasa both remarried and met Eren in the afterlife.

The same goes for those who believe that Mikasa should not meet Eren in the afterlife, because Eren is a criminal. Attack on Titan does not pass judgement to the actions of its characters that much. Of course, Eren's actions are horrific, but the entirety of the cast and the narrative tries to shift the blame to many more people than just Eren. Eren is not the only one responsible for how things turned out. All the characters sinned. Not to mention, Mikasa expressed her certainty that she would meet Eren again in the end in the final ED song and this is what is shown. Furthermore, after Mikasa's death, the lyrics that play are these "レクイエムレクイエム檜には君た花を 罪を散すなら 暁よ照らせ". This means that if sins are to be forgiven, then dawn will illuminate the flowers under the cypress. Eren's sins by the time Mikasa died have, probably, been forgiven. In any case, repeating my previous words, we can only go by what is shown and what is shown is that the two of them do reunite in the end.

What is the point of the debate?

The debate is probably meaningless. Whether or not Mikasa married does not affect the story in any way. It simply concludes Mikasa's story. Of course, this means that i wrote close to 3 thousand words for nothing, LOL. Nonetheless, i find it ridiculous that large amounts people still debate about the frankly obvious context of 1 panel. This toxic debate should have stopped long ago. What matters is that Mikasa got to live a long and happy life with a person who loved and respected her, just like Eren ultimately wanted and she then reunited with her most beloved. Sure, it hurts that we couldn't see more of Eren and Mikasa as a couple, after being introduced to them from the very first page of the story, but this is no reason to slander other parts of the fandom or the voice actors who did their best to portray these characters for over a decade. Mikasa was lucky enough to be loved so much by two men. She got to spend her time on Earth with one of them and infnity with the other. Despite all of her shortcomings and the bad luck she faced in her life, Mikasa rose stronger from each challenge and earned her happily ever after. This is what's important. In the future, we might get to see more of her family life with Jean and the time she spent with Eren in the paths and her next meeting with him.

[luna-indigoduh]

Baby fever

word count: 2492

CW:  Breeding kink, cursing, oral (Femal receiving)

AN: Hey guys I’ve been gone but im excited to release this. I suddenly had muse at like 3 Am and want to start being active more so ill be posting more headcanons and getting fics out when im not busy. Feel free to send headcanons or even small prompts would really like to interact with mutuals again. Anywho enjoy 

Touya had never thought about having kids.  There was nothing that was in him that had ever made the male wonder or dream of having kids of his own. Between his family trauma and the fact his quirk was one he wouldn't wish on to anyone (besides his father). He feared he would be just as good of a father compared to his father, which was like saying he'd  be the best at being the damn worst. With the same rage, stubbornness and passion that endeavor carried through his veins being in his there wasn't any guarantee that his child wouldn’t face the same amount of neglect or abuse he faced as a child . Then when it came to his quirk, he knew his own fucking body couldn’t handle his quirk. He knew for sure that a child that had the chance of gaining a much more powerful fire quirk and his weak frozen body, he’d be putting a death sentence on that's child's back even before birth   If it was up to him the todoroki bloodline would be put to an end with his siblings.     

Sadly he had no control in that seeing he sat face to face with his nephew that you had been babysitting for the weekend. Natsuo had asked if you two would be willing to watch his son for him and his wife. Touya could still remember how unsure his brother  was when he asked him. He was positive that had the same matching looks on their faces as he held the babbling baby in his arms. Touya was reluctant of  course when he asked.  Plus he was positive he was only asking him due to Fuyumi being out of town for vacation and Shoto being too busy with her0 work.  He couldn’t muster up any words and could feel as his nerves would boil over any second. That was until he felt your hand on his shoulder that instantly felt himself cool down .  

“Of course we will,” you said cheerfully with a smile ever so bright .

You hadn’t told Touya but you had been going through baby fever heavily . You found yourself looking in the baby aisle more than usual as you did your daily errands. You also have been going over that baby list of names and even scrolling through cute family tiktoks that could only make you imagine having a family with Touya. Sadly you knew about his past and what he had been through. As much as you were ready for a baby you understood his stance on children and you wouldn't push your want for a family onto the male. You respected him and accepted that at the moment your two cats would be just enough for the both of you right now. 

Touya would agree with you also, up until this weekend.    At first he had decided that he would have as little interaction with the child as possibly. It at first sounded like an easy task,but once he realized that you would be using this time to have as much fun with the child. If he wanted anytime with you, he was going to have to be with the baby. Nothing about the baby had given him the idea that he wanted his own. Especially with the fact he had cried for over an hour once his parents left. If anything he was sure it would be the best birth control that you guys had ever had. Then you had managed to calm the baby down and that had begun to ignite the spark in him that made him crave to put his own kid in you. Watching as you rock as you rock the small baby as it rested its head against your chest was an image he did not know he needed to see.   He could only think about how beautiful you looked in that moment, and how beautiful you would look with his own child in your arms.  From there that spark in him only grew more as the days carried on. While you cured your fever by playing with the child, feeding and caring for him it had seemed that this baby loving illness was contagious because Touya was positive that he had  come down with a case of it and there was only one way it could be cured for him. By the end of Saturday night Touya had easily fallen into a domestic role. He took the time to do your guy’s typical household chores  such as the laundry or cooking dinner for you guys . He also gave you chances to relax as he fed the baby or rocked him to sleep.  Of course after he let you show him he would hurt the small human in his arm.   It was as if you guys had been playing house all weekend,but sadly the fun was coming to an end .

He watched as the child giggled and smiled reaching out for him, a new sound that made his chest warmer than any fire that he had ever weld in him. “You know you weren't so  bad,” he said, picking up the child from the floor where he was originally playing. “How would you like a little cousin?” he asked the small child as he tickled the boy who erupted into a fit of giggles that were only stopped once the door bell rung causing you to quickly move from your bedroom where you where getting the baby’s things together (plus a little extra things you guys had bought when you guys took them shopping with you). “Hey,  Natsuo ,” you said as you  quickly answered the door with the baby bag on your shoulder. “ I knew you'd be here soon.”  You guys chatted a bit  before he asked how the weekend went knowing that watching a kid could be a handful. His worry had been dismissed once his older brother came in his view with his son who had the same striking white hair as the two of them. “It was alright, this little stinker is welcomed any time,” Touya spoke, giving the baby a smile just as bright as the one on the smallest Todoroki’s face. It was a pleasant surprise for all of you.

After your guy’s goodbyes and coming back anytime was given the house fell into a peaceful silence for you. Only you. Touya was doing his best to get over the emptiness within the house,but he couldn't shake the need to want to have a child with you. Later that night you and Touya  decided to cuddle and watch a movie wanting to make up for the lack of solo cuddles you guys had gotten.  While your mind was focused on the movie that played on your bedroom tv Touya seemed to have other plans for you guys . His soft lips found the skin on your neck as he gently placed kisses against it before leaving each kiss with a playful nip at your skin. As his hands began to wander under the hem of your shirt you couldn't help but to hum from his touch. He always knew your body. Where to touch, how to touch and exactly to make you want him more than you typically control. 

He rolled you over on you back easily pulling his  shirt  that your smaller form swam in over your head being glad to see you opted for no bra and just a beautiful blue thong that contrasted against your melanated skin that had him and his dick practically drooling for you before he could even get to touch you the way he wanted. “Fuck your gorgeous doll,” he said softly before pecking a kiss to your lips, going back kissing your now warm skin. You hadn't expected  this attention from him but god you were not going to turn him down for a second.   You watched as he trailed his fiery intense kisses down your body. Each one leaving a marking of love that made your body look like an art piece that was covered with every inch of passion the male had in his body for you that made him feel like an artist. Once he reached  your soaked cover pussy he couldn’t help, but top lap up a taste through your panties with kisses following right behind them.     

“Touya,” You gasped as your hips bucked, wanting more friction. Hating that he wouldn’t just take the stupid thong off of you. It wasn’t usual for him to move slow and take his time with you, but he sure as hell was going to tonight.  

“Just relax for me baby, let me take my time,” he said softly as he sat up to take off his own shirt leaving him in his boxers before finally relieving you from the drenched fabric.    

He couldn't stop himself from spreading your folds watching how your sticky lust connected them together. Touya was sure he had died and went to heaven at the sight.  He rubbed slow circles against your clit watching as you clench around nothing just begging for more. You were sure he was going to ignore how you whined for him to give you more before you heard the sound of him collecting saliva in his mouth as spitting on your pussy the easily meeting your eyes as he lapped it back up   then eating you like his dinner he had wasn't enough to settle his hunger. He needed dessert. It was hard to control the way you squirmed under his touch with how he didn't seem to let up against you. Switching between sucked your clit, small kitten licks that had you melting into the mattress and fucking you with his tongue. He gripped you thighs wanting to keep you close as he got lost in the taste of you.   It would explain how he didn't hear you first say his name.

“Please, I-I need to… fuck , “ moans slipped past your lips as your head fell back into your pillow before feeling a harsh smack against your thigh causing him to gain your attention back as you whimpered.

“You wanna cum? Then you’ll keep those pretty brown eyes on me doll.”

With ease he went back to eating you watching you just as intensely as he tasted every inch of you. He always loved how you came undone right in front of him. The sound of your moans made him believe the heavens gave you the voice of the most beautiful angel that had.  He wished he could hear it every second of the day.  Once you finished he looked at you standing taking in the sight of you.  The lust filled look in your eyes that had your pupils blown with the combination of thin layer or sweat that made your body glisten like gold as your juice continued to leak from you made his mind race. In that moment the image of you round with his spawn made his chest swell. He was going to make you a mom, you were going to have his baby and hell he was going to be the best goddamn father/ husband he could be. The only thing that pulled him from his thoughts was the sight of you getting on your knees reaching for the hem of his boxers before he took a hold of your wrist.

“Wanna make daddy feel good too,” You said licking your lips as seduction fell into your words.

Any other night he would love to see your full lips wrapped around him as his tip hit the back of his throat, but tonight he had a goal in mind.

   “Not tonight baby, you just let me take care of you tonight ok,”he said softly before kissing your forehead.  Something soft was brought out in him and you didn't have time to figure out what it was as he laid you back down. He removed his boxers leaving you both naked as his dick sprung out. Tip red and angry while dripping with his arousal, you licked your lips with anticipation as he pumped himself a few times before folding you in half in a mating press letting you legs rest on his shoulders. With you prepared properly and your pussy having been fucked to fit him over the few years he was easily able to fit. He didn’t take a second to wait to fuck you. The sound of how sloppy your pussy dripped for him was enough to encourage him to carry out fucking his baby into you.

   Long deep strokes made you gasp with sweet moans leaving in between. You loved feeling with each thrust how his tip kissed your cervix. All you could do was beg for him more and more as your arms wrapped around his neck.  He leaned down placing hot kisses into your neck as he found his thrust picking up with each second he felt you clench around him. He couldn’t control himself anymore as his mind was only focused on the feeling of you and the thought of giving you a baby.

  “God you're going to be such a pretty mommy,” he rasped as he slammed deeper into you.  “I’m going to fill this sloppy pussy over and over tonight until you're so full with my cum.”

 His words earned a whine from you before you found your fingers tangling into his hair and pulling it to make him look at you .

  “Cum in me Touya,” you begged as you looked at him with soft eyes. “I want to have you baby, please give me a baby. I’ll be a good mommy.”

 Between your words, your cheeks stained with tears of pleasure and how easily you were taking him, he knew he wasn’t going to last much longer.  After a few more thrust that became sloppy  with each second you both finished together causing you both to cry out each other's names.

He pulled out looking down at you taking in your after sex beauty as his eyes traveled over you before seeing how his seed dripped out of you. He watch proudly as he used his finger to take the mixture of you pushing it back inside wanting to be sure you didn't lose a drop before placing a kiss against your clit.

“I love you doll,” he said softly looking back to your eyes knowing this was a big next step for you guys.

“I love you too,” you said just as gently.

Just like he promised Touya spent the rest of your night fucking you into the sheets to be sure you were filled with him.   For the next few days Touya was happily showing you the same amount of attention. It was a month later that the two of you had found out your non-stop loving had accomplished exactly what he wanted.

You were going to have a baby.

Tag list/ mutuals: @nasty-quillz @darkmajesty-xo @plussizeficchick @dabilovesme @bookwormsenpai @bl–ankhaeji @bl–ankhaeji @xogabbiexo @38riku @tenyaiidasslut @riozakii @sintiva @namjoonswifeyy

[brucenorris007]

“Game Sonic doesn’t have it in him to kill Eggman.” -Someone on IG comparing Movie Sonic to Game Sonic per something written in StH 2′s script. Have... have you played or even seen the Sonic games? Especially those prior to Forces and Frontiers?

Okay, maybe that’s somewhat unwarranted. Still.

He doesn’t prioritize killing Eggman the way Shadow occasionally or Omega (always) do, but he’s not exactly opposed to seeing, ah, spilled yolk on any sort of principle, either. Eggman just doesn’t occupy anymore space in Sonic’s mind than he warrants at any given moment; the doctor might be obsessed with crushing this teenager who keeps humiliating him, but the reverse?

Sonic at one point says, when asked in Sonic X where Eggman is on a day he’s not actively destroying things or hurting people:

“I don’t care.”

Newer iterations of the blue blur confuse it a bit–starting around Lost World, I believe–but let’s go down the Games timeline; explore the evolution of Sonic’s general attitude toward killing and by extension, cracking the egg.

Classic Sonic is a younger, less powerful and perhaps more unhinged hedgehog. Like I said in another post, Sonic’s first priority is doing what’s Cool; stomping Eggman’s machines and rescuing his animal friends have fit his personal definition of cool from day one.

Every time Sonic and Eggman clash, Sonic stops attacking once Eggman does; that is, once his contraption of the week gets thrashed. Eggman’s smart enough to flee by that point, and while Sonic would keep fighting if the doctor attacked him again, striking an enemy in the back while they’re running away doesn’t fit his definition of Cool.

Sonic doesn’t go out of his way to kill an enemy who isn’t actively trying to kill him, but neither does he go out of his way to save Eggman from falls that could easily end his life. (Refer to: The conclusion of most fights between Robotnik and Super Sonic pre-Dreamcast era)

A trend that carries through at least Sonic Unleashed; if Sonic had a truly immovable stance against killing Eggman, he wouldn’t just stand by and watch his contraptions fall to pieces around him until the doctor spirals in just a pod or console seat at terminal velocity per Sonic 06. I wouldn’t be surprised if Eggman keeps Heal Units on hand for personal use when cartoon physics aren’t enough to prevent grievous injury.

I predict this is going to get longer than I expected; have a cut.

And Eggman knows this. After so many years as arch-enemies, how could he not recognize the pattern? Factor it into his schemes and calculations, his fail safes, however much he loathes the idea of losing again?

There are two Mobians in the franchise who consistently hold back and put a check on themselves out of consideration for others. Two Mobians who, should either snap, are capable several times over of wreaking untold havoc across the planet and ending the doctor’s career in evil permanently.

Knuckles, and Sonic.

This echidna is strong enough to trigger a fault line that can sever an entire zone off of Angel Island with a single blow; who, coupled with his familiarity with chaos energy and channeling the merest fraction of the M.E., can sucker punch someone out of their Super state. Destined Child’s self-control of his strength is a more significant act of kindness than just about anything else he could do.

And Sonic’s maximum speed, in his normal state, cannot be accurately measured even by Eggman’s machines. Oh, he can work out medians and means for the hedgehog’s typical velocity, enough that his robots can put up a decent fight and track/predict the blue blur’s movements.

But Sonic pulls stunts that should not be possible even in the fantastic world of Mobius on the daily; he’s fast enough that he can and has joked about light speed being casual for him, and at one point in his career he outran a black hole for upwards of half a minute. Again, without the aid of his Super state.

Sonic’s reasons for holding back coincide with Knuckles’ somewhat, but they don’t match one to one. A) He holds back for others’ sake and safety: pulling a friend along when he pours on a speed boost, pacing himself when he’s carrying someone (often, though not limited to, princesses...) and, one can infer, limiting himself to just fast enough to break the sound barrier most of the time so he doesn’t constantly destroy/reshape the terrain he’s running on. Sonic’s a rebel, and he enjoys breaking stuff, but only when he’s making a point through the stuff he’s breaking. Aimless destruction isn’t quite his wheelhouse.

And B) he holds back for the sake of having more fun. There are a lot of reasons Sonic’s persisted as a character for three decades now, and one of them, setting him apart from a lot of other ‘cool’ stoic characters I could name, is that Having Fun falls under his definition of Cool.

This is the only way Sonic’s approach to things in the Riders games, his rivalry with Jet in particular, makes any kind of sense; he chooses to race using Extreme Gear because the sport, the banter, the push toward the finish line alongside his best friends are fun, he enjoys all those things. If beating Jet or proving that he’s faster was truly the highest priority for him, he’d ditch the board and just break a half dozen laws of physics on foot like he always does.

Like I mentioned, Eggman’s aware of that; of the fact that Destined Child and Some Guy are, 99% of the time, exercising self-restraint. And factors it into his schemes. He doesn’t quite fear Knuckles snapping as much, since there are years of evidence proving that taking advantage of the echidna’s naivete isn’t enough to make him lose it, and because he understands that Knuckles sees himself as a Guardian on and off of Angel Island. Born to protect; only harming in service to that role, and certainly not to kill.

Compared to Knuckles, Sonic’s conditions for losing it, for going berserk are much more apparent; namely excessive, grievous harm to his friends. In particular, his best friend Tails.

There’s a reason why Eggman ejected Sonic from the ARK in a time bomb space pod in SA2 before facing off with the fox, and it wasn’t simply because he was outnumbered. He was holding Amy hostage with Tails in the room well before Sonic arrived. He could have demanded Tails exit the Cyclone and killed the fox. He didn’t need two hostages.

But he knew better than to think he could predict how Sonic would react to seeing his sidekick (in Eggman’s mind) motionless on the floor of the ARK. Worse case scenario, four bodies end up careening in free fall towards the Earth’s atmosphere.

Eggman knows Sonic has it in him to kill; are other Mobians more likely to try killing him? Yes, but the possibility still figures into Eggman’s plans and is one of the reasons the blue hedgehog occupies most of the doctor’s attention, second to his obsession with returning all the humiliation Sonic’s visited on him over the years.

All that being said, there is a moment in Sonic’s career that marks the beginning of a shift in his attitude toward killing.

Emerl.

Gemerl’s predecessor and the focal point/main character of Sonic Battle, for the uninformed.

Sonic found this battered robot, abandoned by Eggman in a fit of impatience and frustration; this machine designed to be the ultimate combat weapon, capable of observing and evolving based on those it interacts with like a whole-ass person would. In the penultimate chapter of the game, Emerl acquires the seventh chaos emerald and achieves a perilous state where the right words might make or break the world, and Shadow picks the right ones that allow Emerl to function autonomously without posing a danger to the planet.

Obviously, in the ultimate chapter, Eggman has to come and fuck that up.

With Emerl out of control and beyond the reach of words or reason and only minutes between him and the planet’s destruction, Sonic has no choice but to destroy–to kill–this robot he practically raised like a child of his own to save the world.

Sonic doesn’t hesitate in doing so, though it’s clear he doesn’t want to. And of course, it affects him.

It’s that moment that begins to change his attitude from “I don’t kill in cold blood/don’t kill anyone with their back to me or running away” to “I don’t kill if I can help it.”

Make no mistake, though: Sonic wouldn’t shed a single tear for Eggman’s funeral. At most, he’d consider life marginally more boring without an arch nemesis and then get over it.

Sonic is capable of cracking the egg; he prefers avoiding it, but under the right circumstances, avoiding it falls way down his list of priorities.

To this day in the games, Eggman doesn’t go after the hedgehog’s friends in earnest until he believes the blue blur has been dealt with first.

That is very, very intentional on his part.

@generic-sonic-fan

[bluecornfrito]

acotar/acomaf/acowar spoilers

Unfortunately I’m a Tamlin defender and here’s why

We all know that Feyre is traumatized as fuck; it’s why Tamlins behavior and actions towards her hurt so much. Her reactions and behaviors are understandable. But I see everyone putting Tamlin in an evil-toxic-ex-who-deserves-nothing box. I don’t see him that way, never have. His character actually makes me so immensely sad.

From the beginning, he’s been traumatized. He had a father who was cruel and ruthless. Tamlin told Feyre that he disagreed with and unapproved of a lot of things his father did. We don’t know the full side of his story about the night he and his father killed Rhysands mom and sister. Did Tamlin want to do that? Did his dad force him to go like Rhysands dad tried to get him to kill Tamlin? I just have a feeling there’s a lot of unfortunate misunderstandings between them. But then Tamlin had to watch his father get killed right in front of him and he and Rhysand were declared High Lords in the same night.

Tamlin was a child just like Rhysand. The only difference was Tamlin didn’t have a family, or a best friend, or people to hold him up and teach him how to be a ruler. He was a child forced into a position he wasn’t ready for. So he keeps the same traditions, same rules. It’s probably why the Tithe is still a thing. Has anyone told Tamlin that there’s other, better ways to go about that? Does he even know? He’s playing a guessing game as a High Lord and it shows.

Then Amarantha comes in and we know how that goes. Tamlin is easily the High Lord that got the ‘easy’ way out, compared to the rest who were imprisoned and were definitely tortured on the daily for 50 years. That had to have filled him with guilt, but he still doesn’t know What To Do. (I think Tamlin 100% has the Freeze reaction at any given sign of conflict). “But he only sent his men out for two years!” Two years!! That’s a long time for sending people who are devoted to you, people who became your friends, to a death that will likely will come up as pointless. He was running out of people so he stopped. He froze and continued existing in his Court.

Then came Feyre. The human with hate for Fae in her heart, the human who killed his sentry and friend. I, personally, I don’t think Tamlin was planning on falling in love with a human. The deal was that she had to fall in love with him, not the other way around. But when he takes her to his home and she has such a bigger personality than he’d originally thought. She wasn’t only angry, she was also sweet, caring, sarcastic. She wasn’t just a wild human, she loved to paint. Over and over, Tamlin says that he never thought that a human could love such things. Then, she cries over that faerie that died on the table. She held his hand and comforted in his last moments. It was a tender moment that had Tamlin rethinking his own feelings.

But Amarantha still exists. Amarantha is sending more and more beasts and monsters. She’s terrorizing his land day after day. Taunting him. She’s dangerous and all he wants to do is keep Feyre safe. Not because she had to fall in love with him, but because he already fell for her. But Feyre also keeps going out, getting herself in trouble, having to fight for her life. She was reckless. Tamlin wanted to keep her safe. He knew that if he told her the truth, she would go and try to stop it herself without thinking.

Theeeeeen there’s Rhysand. (He’s a whole other point of topic AHH). Rhysand, who spiked a head on Tamlins front lawn. Rhysand, who came into his home and Hurt Her. Tamlin wasn’t able to protect her in that moment. He didn’t fight, he Bowed. Soooo he sends her away, risking everything; never seeing her again, finally becoming a personal prisoner to Amarantha, losing his court, his best friend. He lost all of that just so she would be safe with her real family.

We don’t know the full extent of what Amarantha did to him. We only saw them on the throne when everyone was gathered. We know what she did to Rhysand, who’s to say she didn’t also do that to Tamlin; the man she actually wanted to marry? Did she hurt him? What did she say to him? We don’t know. What did she hold over his head to have him never interject, never argue, never defend?

Oh and then Feyre is there. She’s There. Even though he sent her away, here she was. I don’t doubt he wanted to fight. But whatever Amarantha did to him, paired with his habit of freezing, prevented him from even making a face. Then she was beat up, put in awful, horrible trials. She almost dies. She’s isolated and alone. And He Can’t Do Anything. He’s watching all of this unfold, frozen out of fear and uncertain if he’d even win against Amarantha.

Then he has to watch as Rhysand take her, drug her, make a bargain with her, KISS HER after her and Tamlin finally had a second alone. What was going through his head! This man was probably so hurt and broken and torn between fighting and freezing. What was his reaction when Amarantha told him of the final trial? Was he angry? Scared? Relieved? He knew about his heart of stone, so maybe he already knew the loophole?

I just want to drive it home that We Don’t Know What He Was Thinking when all of this was happening. Then Feyre fucking DIES! Did he notice Rhysand fighting for her? Did he see the true desperation and sadness in Rhysand? Did he understand? Did he think the High Lord of the Night Court was just upset of losing a pet? Weeee don’t know. But I bet it hurt to see someone who is Enemy Number One (other than the obvious) fighting for the woman He loved. Then she’s brought back and everything is good and great and everyone got their happy ending and the world is perfect again. (Haha, there’s a storm coming).

Mist and Fury is the one I want to talk about the most but I’ll make a different post about that.

Thanks for reading my ramblings, more to come.

[huriya]

We Need Revolution in You and Me

We are watching a country die.

All the while, we know why.

All the while, I see kids like me scream and cry while missiles demolish their homes.

And I sit here in my middle class house with my family and friends,

And I avoid the subject of war because not even my father knows who he’d fight for,

He only knows he would fight with hate disguised as love because that’s what he is told.

Those of you who claim you are prevented from protest by society are lying to yourselves,

You are restrained by society’s individual,

You think you are unable to do anything but watch this genocide,

Watch this genocide on your screen made from the labor of child slaves,

Your screen that is now necessary for modern life,

Your modern life is a life where corporations have told you slavery is necessary,

Where you know every piece in your wardrobe is the fruit of unpaid labor,

The clothes that cover your skin fail to cover up their origin, their sin:

Those countries we know we infiltrated as a false agent of "freedom",

Those countries we accept as sacrifices for our daily lives,

Those countries being burned by the flames of climate change,

But we’ll continue to consume oil and gas because you say it's "too hard to change",

With that sort of thinking we may as well go back to African slaves,

In our justification of the evils of life we become the evil ourselves,

When we ignore the consequences of our luxury and do nothing we are complicit,

Complicit in the generational control of those people we perceive as less than,

Those people who live to die for us without a choice,

Raised by survivors of cultural rape in a cycle of trauma,

Trauma inflicted by that same system we claim is "too hard to change",

For the system sustains our lives by taking others,

And if we want our lives to stay we must turn a blind eye,

A blind eye to hatred and love and thought,

And if we must know of the less-than-human people who die,

We can claim we couldn’t try,

Because their suffering can only be ended when we face the end of our privilege,

And we claim our privilege protects us from what we call the true struggle,

The true struggle we lay upon others while we lavish in our capitalistic society,

Where the number of zeros in your bank account determines your worth,

And the billionaires lay the blame on your neighbors to redirect it from themselves,

While they watch us pick each other apart in a battle where both sides lose,

Where every side loses except the side comparable to God,

God’s grace comes with a cost for the sake of adding to the ever-growing banks of heaven,

Those banks filled with the flow of money once meant to trickle down,

Barricaded by pearly gates to prevent the “lazy” man’s hydration,

And when we have been sucked dry we may finally look up in the sky,

And realize why no one won the wars we all believed were worth fighting for,

Because all we were was entertainment for the more-than humans,

The ones who trampled our children to get ahead,

And jailed our brothers to steal their rights with fear,

And now we fear our brothers and hate our mothers and never know our fathers,

And we don’t give a damn for the rest of them,

Because we’re too busy playing the blame game to have any real goal to attain,

And if we can’t work together we can’t hope to end the cycle of pain,

And so we’ll continue to buzz around our lives like flies coveting trash,

Because we allow ourselves to be too afraid to make real change,

And we pretend we can be truly happy in a world where our children’s time is monopolized by our own government to train good little workers who won’t question money’s authority.

-Huriya, 4/2/2024

[simpscripts]

Free-fall Chapter 1 (Sun/Moon x Reader)

Summary: You needed a job, any job that would overlook your lack of education or non existent ‘official’ work history. It just so happens that this job is the closest thing to home since your circus troupe went under. So what’s the big problem?

Authors note: Honestly this is just an idea I wanted to write for myself but I hope someone else enjoys it too! This is going to be a slow burn.

Fazbear Entertainment Company knew what their biggest problem was at the moment, it was practically glaring at them in the face daily as thousands of complaints and bad reviews rolled in. The problem was the daycare attendant.

Adults hated it, employees constantly quit because they refused to work with it, and more importantly the children it was programmed to take care of were frightened of it. Its sole design existed to appease children, to have nurturing and playful characteristics so the kids did not feel watched over but instead felt as if they were just having a play date. In theory, it should have worked but the idea of a lone animatronic, towering above everyone that encountered it along with the personality that mimicked that of a clown, it isn’t hard to see now where this idea had failed.

What were they to do about this issue, scrap him? No, they couldn’t do that, not only because of just how insanely expensive it was to build and the giant loss the company would take from that, but they also had to take into account its unique build that couldn’t easily be scrapped for parts for the other animatronics upgrades. Unlike the Glamrocks or simply just the S.T.A.F.F. Bots, their design is ten times more intricate. All of the ‘personality’ animatronics had the AI capability to learn but that’s where the similarities truly ended.

The daycare attendant was given a different type of endoskeleton, one that can give them more agility than the others. Soft padding was placed over the endoskeleton that would make it safe when children interacted with it, and it had twice the responsibility. As well as intricate programming that took years to write code for compared to any other of the animatronics to make sure child safety was its top priority. No, they couldn’t scrap it, they would be losing way too much.

So what were they to do about this situation? Easy. To figure out their next step all the company had to do was look at other large theme parks in the country. They had creepy mascots and characters too but with a difference, they were almost always accompanied by a handler. Sure the princesses and superheroes didn’t need a handler but they were human. The anthropomorphic costumes freaked out the children, but with a human handler escorting them around it brought a human touch back into it and helped relieve some of the creepy tension, making them more approachable, and ushering back in the cartoonish charm their designers were aiming for during their creation.

While the solution may have been an easy one to make, executing it was not as easy. It was hard finding someone willing to fill that role. Person after person entered the interview, seemingly excited about the job, but then they would meet it for the first time.

They made sure to have each interview end with a little meet and greet with Sun, as opposed to Moon whom they correctly guessed would scare the potential hires off even quicker, but each meeting ended the same way regardless. One right after the other the interviewees raced out the door once they reached the meet and greet portion, even the ones who swore up and down that no matter what they were desperate for the job.

Week after week they continued the arduous process of interviewing candidates, a few even made it to on-the-job training. There were even some impressive candidates they thought would fill the role perfectly due to their previous job experience as performers and theme park handlers. As always though before they could officially hire anybody they all walked out, leaving the company to start the process of interviews all over again.

Eventually, they landed on your resume. A small single page compared to some of the larger or more impressive resumes they started with, but at this point, they can’t be too picky. The resume lacked any schooling or degrees and it listed only a few jobs that all consisted of waitressing at different establishments. Then they read the very last line and practically had dollar signs in their eyes as they realized that they just struck gold, you had worked ten years in a circus troupe.

They just found their golden candidate who could not just assist but also be a true star of the show alongside their animatronic, and they would not let this candidate slip away so easily.

They pulled out all the stops for your interview, or at least as much as the corporation would realistically allow. So when you arrived at the interview they offered you a large array of beverages like soda, water, coffee, or juice before whisking you off towards a conference room. Usually, most of your interviews have been in the back of some dingy restaurant manager's office, in bleak windowless rooms that suffocated you with their musk, or even just at the front of the restaurants in one of the booths with disinterested-looking men reading off questions in a monotonous tone. It may have been just a cheap gesture to give the illusion that they care more even though it was the bare minimum of schmoozing but regardless you were ashamed to say it was kind of working.

After months of panicking about bills, barely avoiding eviction, a few dodgy days without electricity, and the hundreds of wasted hours spent on interviews that went nowhere you had to admit it was kinda nice to experience these little luxuries. A small part was even just giddy as you sat down in the nice wide wooden chairs that had plump padding on the seat that made it so much more comfortable to sit on than hard plastic. Plus the windows were open letting in a nice warm breeze that just filled your heart with happiness.

You knew the men sitting across you had fake smiles plastered across their faces as they reached across to shake your hand before you sit down across the wide table from them. You pushed aside the thought as your day brightened up even more as they pushed a box of doughnuts over to you that you immediately took to make up for your lack of breakfast.

“So to start off we just have to ask you,” The middle man across the table started with a wide grin as you shoved another doughnut in your mouth “Ten years in the circus?”

“Mmhm” You mumbled out around your delicious sugary treat, “Joined when I was around twelve."

“Perfect! We really think you would be a nice fit for this position as the animatronic handler. You see we have had some slight issues with staff getting along with it but nothing to worry about especially with your background. It kinda acts like, well, um, fellas how would you describe it?” He motions to the men on either side of him as they each quip up with their own descriptions.

“A jester?” One offers up as the main man hums in agreement.

“Yes! Like a clown, it’s very clown like I would say.” The other man jumps in.

“Exactly, thank you, gentlemen. It’s a bit unnerving for most people but I am quite positive someone with your background will do just fine with that creepy stuff. I’m sure you worked with plenty of horrifying creeps and freaks, am I right?” His smile has yet to waver and the mocking laugh he ends his question with along with the other men following suit with their own degrading laughs is starting to get on your nerves.

The charms of the little gifts and pleasantries have started to wear off. Now it's much easier to see them as not nice or charming but as salesmen. These are professional salesmen whether their job descriptions are actually public relations, business manager, etc. Their jobs were to sell their company and right now their job was selling this position to you which they openly admitted they were having problems with.

Their first big mistake was thinking you would laugh along with their jokes about the other performers you spent a decade with. The second was thinking you couldn’t see right through them, sure you accepted the treats, but you knew you held the power. Their third and most damming mistake was it. They kept referring to their animatronic as it.

You’re not sure why that two-letter word was digging its way into your skin every time they said it but it did. You knew this company, or at least you knew the restaurant and thus the animatronics inside of it. They all seemingly had personalities, big ones at that, and smart A.I. that they took every chance to brag about on the news as their PR team truly worked overtime for the company. The way they spoke about their animatronic as an object turned the energy in the room slowly, prickling your skin. Taking a deep breath you pushed your concerns aside to reply.

“Um yea it won’t be a problem, and I wouldn’t say they were creepy at al-“

“Perfect, see I just knew you would be a perfect fit for this role.” He rudely interrupts you again. “With your background, we would also like to change up the position a bit from handler to performer. You would still accompany it and do the normal job but start offering some fun performances with you and the animatronic on top of the normal job. Of course, we will offer a bit more money to your salary for this as well so don’t worry about that.”

“Oh.” You were shocked, you never made it to a full-fledged performing role in your circus trope as by the time it shut down you were still an apprentice.

You had been training and filling in roles but had yet to become a full-time performer in your own right. You did have the specialties you were working towards more like acrobatics and trapeze work but despite how good you got you never did it solo, without your trusted mentors by your side to correct you.

“If you sign on with us today you’ll start up as just the basic handler until we have our lawyers look over the specialty contract you’ll need for the type of work we want you to do.” He ends by turning to the other men to point to their papers and talk about notes as he thinks about contracts.

You let them drone on as you were swept up in the nostalgia of your family at the circus that you missed dearly. Part of you wanted this opportunity, a chance to feel the overwhelming joy you had used to receive while entertaining crowds of people and more importantly the bright smiles you brought to children. Your head was swimming as you thought through everything, mind contemplating every angle of this new opportunity. You originally just wanted a job but now the perfect job has seemed to just fall into your lap, but nothing in your life was ever quite that easy.

For starters you did not become a full-fledged performer, how could you suddenly jump from apprenticing to doing full-blown shows, especially without your troupe behind you to encourage and support you? You weren’t sure you were ready for that responsibility, and the fact employers of the company so openly mocked your previous profession and friends in front of you made your skin crawl. You doubt they would take the proper precautions when it came to the big performances you were used to.

This shouldn’t be a hard decision though, right? You need a job, that makes money, to pay your bills, and not lose your shitty apartment. This job just so happens to involve the things you love most in the world, performing and making children happy. Something wasn’t quite right though, and your anxiety was not making it any better. Your head was racing as thoughts all shouted out across your mind debating every angle possible and you were sure your body was frozen in front of the men. From what little you could focus on outside your brain it doesn’t seem as though the men have even noticed your situation as they talked among themselves.

“Well then,” The middle man's sharp clap of his hands jolted you back in “We don’t really need to go over too much for the interview part, instead we would love to jump ahead to introductions to see how that all goes.”

Before you could respond they got up and started escorting you to a door connected to the conference room. They were talking more about the job on the short walk but you’re mind was elsewhere. As you reached out to open the handle the main man grabbed onto your wrist, another shock running through you at the suddenness.

His face was still plastered with a saccharine smile but his eyes were filled with fear. Funnily enough, this bizarre smile filled with horror was a rather familiar sight to your eyes from the array of faces in the crowd of shows you would take mental snapshots of for your internal emotions scrapbook.

“Just picture it as a clown, ok? And don’t turn off the lights.” He backs up and releases his grip on your arm. "You'll do great kid, we know you got this."

Your eyes scrunch together as you watch the gaggle of grown men in suits squirm with discomfort at even the thought of what lies beyond the door. Sure you never saw Sun or Moon in person before but you've seen them plenty on the near-constant commercials or news broadcasts praising their technology. They weren't even scary if memory serves you right, you knew plenty of scarier-looking clowns, and they were always the most down-to-earth and kindest people you knew.

Rolling your eyes you slowly open the door, yelling at yourself internally as your body reacted to their fear causing you to sharply inhale as you enter. Just as you remember him, the bright yellow animatronic sat on top of a table in the conjoining conference room. Well maybe not quite as you pictured, he was much bigger and taller than you ever imagined he would be. You could only imagine how colossal he was next to the children.

His head swayed back and forth as he swung his long legs in front of him while humming. It doesn't appear that he has noticed your presence yet. You carefully try to close the door behind you to give you some relief from the sharp watch of the men in the doorway, anxiously awaiting some sort of reaction. Try as you might, the large door still let out a loud bang when it clicked closed.

You turn just in time to watch Sun jerk and jump off the table to back up while curling his arms around himself anxiously. Your mouth pulls in guilt as you watch him.

"Hello, fri-" He starts to shout out with an arm raised out to you before he pulls it back with his other and curls his palm against his faceplate. "Sorry, sorry. You have to be good sun, you have to behave sun."

He mutters out the latter more to himself as you watch with furrowed eyebrows. He is shifting his weight side to side, seemingly locked in a sort of loading screen moment, and his limbs start to raise like he figured out his next move before pulling back again.

"It's Sun, right? My name is Y/N." You start approaching slowly to not frighten him further.

You can't be sure what this poor animatronic had been through but clearly, it wasn't good if the degrading mutters under his breath were any indication. He doesn't respond, still stuck like a broken record player, so you try repeating your question a little bit louder. He notices this time and his face slowly raises to tilt his head at you.

"Yes, yes, yes. You can call me Sun, or Sunny, or Sundrop, or Sunbeam, or-" He starts to ramble on a million different variations of nicknames while nodding frantically, and you laugh knowing you'll have to cut him off if you'll ever get him to stop.

"Ok let's stick with Sunny, I think it's a super cute name." You smile brighter once you see his rays twirl around his head at your statement.

He rushes closer, again you scold yourself at the sharp gasp you let out at just how quickly he crosses the room, and his hand softly grasps onto yours in between you two.

"Yes! I would like that very very much. Does this mean we are going to be friends?"

"Definitely, especially if I come to work with you, Sunny." You delight in the way his plush fingers feel as you grip them but he slowly pulls his hands away and curls his hands up to his chest.

"Oh, that's right. Job, job, it's all about the job Sun. Don't scare the employees' Sun. Don't mess this up again Sun. You can't be trusted Sun. They can be trusted Sun, not you Sun." He starts pacing around again, hands wringing together and clawing at his chest as you try to wrap your head around what is happening.

"Sunny?" You're watching him closely, heart sinking at the way his voice box becomes more staticky as he desperately chokes out his words.

"I promise I'll be good. I won't be scary or too loud or too clingy or too much. I promise." He sounds so soft and sad as he curls his limbs in more to make himself look smaller.

"Who told you those things Sunny?" You have to gulp back the emotion building in your throat as you watch him.

His face turns slightly to look at the door behind you and you quickly connected the dots that apparently management truly only sees them as objects to verbally degrade when things aren't working for the bottom line. Your fists clench and pop in your anger and you take in a heavy breath to calm yourself.

You have felt angry plenty of times. You sure felt angry when small-minded locals would come through and terrorize your troupe. You felt angry every time you were denied entry-level work without even being given a chance. This anger though was something akin to the reason you left your original life behind in the first place.

"Sunny those guys," You motion behind your shoulder and firmly grip his hands in yours. "Are assholes. All those workers who treated you badly were assholes. Fuck them."

"LANGUAGE!" He quickly screeched out and you wince a bit as his hands reflexively gripped yours harder.

His eyes flex wider as he hears his loud voice bounce around the room and he jumps away from you to cower as he watches the door handle turn.

"Is everything-"

"We're fine" You quickly bite out and look over your shoulder to stare the man down.

He takes a moment to look over at Sunny as he hesitates in the doorway but nods and closes the door again. You inhale deeply to calm yourself and slowly kneel down next to Sun's crumpled form against the wall.

"Sunny? It's ok they won't bother you, I promise."

"No no no, I screamed at you. I'm not supposed to scream." He shakes his head repeatedly and refuses to look at you.

"No no it's ok Sunny, I deserved that. I spent most of my life surrounded by foul-mouthed carnies. I guess I have some bad habits I need to work on." You laugh trying to break the tension.

Your smile grows softer as you see him look up at you but he doesn't speak up again. You let the silence linger on a bit as he calms down and think about any way you can help him out. You trail your eyes down his outfit and get a bit lost as you take in all the intricate details and patterns. His pleated peplum brought back vivid images of familiar fabrics and the lightbulb in your brain goes on.

"Hey, would you like to see a little trick I can do?"

His head tilts in response but watches you very attentively so you take that as a yes.

"Ok, uhm, hmm." You hum as you search around the room to find anything hand-sized. "Ah ha!"

You crawl across the floor a bit to grab three different erasers from the sill of the whiteboards mounted on the wall. You shuffle your way back over and lean up onto your knees as his head shifts side to side as he watches you.

Your hands clasp onto the erasers as you try to find a good grip. You throw up the first, positioning to throw the second but fumble as you get used to their square shape as opposed to the round balls you were used to. You try to start up again but fumble once more and the erasers fall onto the ground. How professional you grumbled in your mind, getting a bit embarrassed over your rusty skills.

"Shit." You quickly spit out as you lean down to snatch them but your eyes widen as you realized you slipped. "Fuck, I mean shit, ahh sorry! I am so sorry I promise I'll get better."

You look up at Sunny apologetically but he chuckles while shifting to sit more relaxed against the wall. "It's ok, keep going."

You hum as he seems to be relaxing around you. You're happy to be the clown for once if it means he cheers up. With a steadying breath, you start back up again and manage to juggle the erasers.

He leans forward while cooing, faceplate approaching closer to the arch's range to watch your hands shuffle, toss, and catch the small objects. You only do a few rotations before letting them drop, not even bothering to attempt to hold them all at once again.

He immediately starts clapping his hands once you finished your little performance and you giggle while playfully bowing. “Oh thank you, thank you so much!”

“That was amazing!” He starts bouncing in front of you and scoots closer to pick up the erasers to try tossing them himself.

“Oh, that was nothing but a party trick, you should have seen the real jugglers I worked with. They could throw anything. Knives, bowling balls, lamps. Actually, now that I think about it, you could probably toss like three of me.” You joke, pushing towards his metal arms that don’t budge a bit with your nudge.

“Yes, teach me! You have to teach me, please please please.” His head spun again, and your heart warmed at how happy he was when he was at ease.

“Absolutely, we will have plenty of time during work for me to teach you.”

"So that means you'll work with us?" He quits down again and sits still as he waits for your answer.

"That depends, will you let me work with you knowing I have a sailor's mouth? I promise I will do my best to work on it, and I swear I am great at not slipping in front of children so you don't have to worry about that."

"You.. you want to know if we want to work with you?"

"Of course, you guys have been the ringmasters of the daycare from day one. I respect the chain of command."

He shifts in front of you in thought, his hands clasping each other as he thinks. You can tell he is clearly conflicted and you wouldn’t blame him a bit with what has been happening to him.

“What do you want Sunny?”

“What do I want?” He looks confused and distracts himself by running his fingers along the bumpy ridges of the eraser in his hand.

“Yeah, I mean I would completely understand if you don’t want another coworker after the way you have been treated. I wouldn’t even blame you if you didn’t want to share the spotlight and perform with me. I just want you to be happy, and I want someone to give you a choice for once.”

“I, we want you to work with us. Please I promise I’ll be good!” His shoulders scrunch up as he curls back down and you sigh. This was a start but you knew it would take a lot more time and reassurances to get him to fully trust you.

“And I promise,” You slowly take his hands back in yours and purposeful stare at him. “That I will try my best not to swear, I promise I will always try to do my best, and most important I promise I will always respect you.”

His smile grew more as his inner cheeks pinched and he quickly pounced forward to loop you into a large hug. You are a bit surprised at just how soft he is to hug and find yourself happily nuzzling in. You can feel the soft whir of his internal fans spinning and find it as soothing as a box fan in the window during summer nights.

“Yes! I want that, we want that, please be our friend!”

“I think we are going to be really good friends Sunny.” You hum against his chest, feeling his fingers curl into your back.

You don’t want to leave him, especially now that you are terrified to imagine what goes on between management and him behind closed doors. But you had power, they were desperate and you knew the request your mind has been brewing up would be quickly granted. Reluctantly you pull yourself out of his arms and try not to frown at the sad head tilt he gives you.

“Sorry bud, I gotta go deal with those as-meanie butts.” Your lips pull as you catch the small slip but correct yourself. “See I told you I would try.”

His smile grows even wider if that’s even possible for him and doesn’t seem to be bothered by the mention of the men again which you are grateful for. Instead, he pats the top of your head softly, running his hand down your hair with each pet.

“You are doing so good new friend! I know you’ll get it one day, and I’ll be there with you every day to help!”

As you shift to lift up he places his hands in yours and gives you a small boost. You say a soft ‘thank you’ under your breath and dust off your knees. You take one last meaningful look at the animatronic you’ve sworn to be friends with. You can’t go back now and deny the job you were on the fence about. You still had your reservations but they were all swept away by Sunny.

Even now as he smiles at you there is something so fragile about him, ironically. You can’t help but feel like you're staring up at a much taller version of yourself a decade ago. You didn’t understand the full picture but you didn’t need to so you could understand that emotion. That burning emotion that tore your life apart.

This time though your metaphorical younger self didn’t have to be alone. Everyone made you feel like a burden, that you couldn’t do anything. They all thought you needed help like everyone thinks Sunny needs help. You both needed help but not in the way anyone cared to understand. You needed hope, you needed someone to stand up for you.

You will be that person for them now.

You give a small wave to Sunny as you back up towards the door, turning to open the door but stopping as your hand makes contact with the handle. You didn’t want to leave him alone, but if all goes well it will just be a night. You could do this.

“Hey Sunny?” You turn to look at him and he hasn’t moved an inch from where you last left him.

“Yes, friend?”

“Thank you, and let Moon know that I am excited to work with you both.” Your fingers twirl around your sleeve deciding whether or not you’ll add the next part swirling in your mind.

“I will be back, I promise.” You finally whisper out, skin crawling a bit at the vulnerable tone of your voice.

To break that crippling feeling of vulnerability you shoot out finger guns toward him. He surprises you with his quick improv and immediately dances around to miss being hit by your imaginary bullets. You both giggle and you can only wish that you have given him enough hope to cling onto when you’re gone.

You wave again and walk out the door, managing to close it softer this time. The men looked like they also haven’t moved an inch and are all looking at you expectantly. Just seeing their dumb fear-filled eyes brings the rage boiling back up but you steady your breath to not fuck up this opportunity.

“So where do I sign?” You speak up knowing they don’t dare to ask and risk spooking their golden candidate.

“Excellent! See I just knew you would do per-“

“I have one stipulation.” You seize your chance to interrupt him as he has done nonstop to you. “I really need a job, so I will be signing on to start tomorrow.”

“Well, well, well. Quite the little go-getter. I see that and all of us here at the F.E.C very much respect the work ethic.” He snaps to the man on his right and gets handed the clipboard with the contract.

He takes the pen attached to the clipboard and manually scribbles in what you assume is the start date and flips it around while holding out the pen to you. “Sign right on that line.”

The simple line felt so similar to the dangerous walk of the tightrope but with the same courage you took your life back with you grabbed hold of the pen and signed the dotted line.

[noellawrites]

Yandere Nick Amaro Headcanons

a/n: I might’ve gone a bit overboard but I’m excited to finally write for SVU & I love my boy Nicky <3

warnings: beating/r*pe mention (not Nick), anger issues, domestic abuse, assault, choking, manipulation, jealousy, coercion, tampering of birth control, gaslighting

- you probably come through the SVU doors at some point: either a detective, witness or victim

- he is very intense and immediately becomes enamored with you, laying on the charm heavily

- you agree to go out for drinks with him

- everything moves fast, him asking you to move in with him after only a few months of dating

- he insists that he only wants you to be safe and protected, and you’re safest with him

- he sees women brutally beaten and raped on the daily, and he would rather die than let that happen to you

- he is a gentleman, but some of his beliefs can tilt toward the traditional sense

- his nicknames for you include mi corazón, mi amor and babe/baby

- watching you interact with Zara and Gil convinces him: he wants to be with you forever

- his kids are his life, and seeing you with them makes him want to have some with you, too

- as a yandere, his anger issues tend to be a big problem

- he has hit you a few times, “on accident”

- once, you had a screaming fight about wanting to wait to have kids of your own

- Nick accused you of “not being committed enough” and not wanting him, getting so angry that he slammed you against the wall and tightened his hand around your neck

- in reality, it’s hard for you to adjust to taking care of Zara and Gil, let alone thinking about a new baby

- he is excellent at manipulating you, even going as far as to use tactics from perps he deals with

- he convinces you your job is too stressful and dangerous, that it would be easier to work from home

- Nick has a superiority complex when it comes to abuse: when he does it, it’s an accident, but when perps do it, it’s against the law

- he is also extremely jealous, accusing you of having affairs with your co-workers, Barba and even Carisi

- he sees Olivia with Noah and Amanda with her newborn, which convinces him to push harder for a baby from you

- Nick charms his way into your pants, makes you think you’re lucky to be wanted and desired by him

- he fucks with your birth control and pokes holes in the condoms, re-sealing the edges of the plastic packaging with a hair straightener

- you’re devastated when you discover you’re pregnant, but Nick will not allow you to get an abortion

- he tries to convince you by telling you how excited Zara and Gil will be about a new little sibling

- how you can arrange play-dates for the baby with Jesse and Noah

- he gaslights you when you insist you didn’t know how this could happen

- saying you must’ve forgotten to take your pills, or something must’ve failed with the birth control

- you know that Nick will protect you and your child, ready to kill anyone that crosses you

- he does love you, he just doesn’t understand how you wouldn’t want his love or protection

- the other SVU detectives actually pick up on your relationship… issues

- more specifically Olivia, as Nick’s former partner and the most experienced on the team

- she picks up on small things Nick says, like, “she tells me she doesn’t want another kid, but I know better,” and “she thinks I raise my voice at her, but it’s nothin’ compared to what my dad used to do.”

- Olivia comes to the small house you share with Nick when she knows Nick is at his mandatory therapy program

- you send Zara and Gil to their rooms while you speak with Olivia, addressing her concerns but reassuring her that everything is okay

- she notices your protruding stomach and shaky hands, remembering her conversation with Nick about you not wanting a child

- she leaves things alone for now, as you won’t admit to anything and there’s nothing else she can do other than offer support to you

- you’re trying to protect Nick, knowing he’s been through enough

- you don’t want him to lose his job as a detective or custody of his kids

- but in reality, you’ve been coerced and manipulated into feeling sympathetic towards him

- it’s all part of his plan to have you and his picture perfect family once and for all

[destinyamunique]

Ways to Access Your Feminine Energy Tips

On the journey of girlhood, we are not fully taught how to take care of ourselves. Instead, we are given the awkward talk about our period and how we are coming into womanhood, with warnings to be careful around boys. There is confusing propaganda about what a feminine being should be, with many different ideas presented. As a result, many beautiful ladies have gone through life thinking they were "just female" and that there is nothing special about being a feminine being. They endure being catcalled now and then, facing sexist experiences in the workplace, comparing themselves to ever-changing beauty standards, dealing with uterus problems, and so much more.

Women are the healers, lovers, makers, and destroyers, we have played so many meaningful roles in history and even now. It is time for women to come back to our juicy feminine energy these are my tips for accessing your feminine energy.

Sensuality

Sensuality is in all of us you don't have to cast some magic spell to get it. How to get to the feeling of sensuality is by taking a step inside yourself and being present with your senses. My favorite way to exercise my senses is when i am cooking smelling the food cooking in the pan, listening to the sound of vegetables being chopped on the cooking board, tasting the food to make sure it has enough seasoning, and then plating my food making sure it looks presentable. I also find sensuality in dancing which leads to my next point.

Dancing

How can i really go into the explanation of dance I mean it dancing! How could you not love it?! I know it can be a little embarrassing to think of yourself dancing if you are an overthinker. I can be a thinker myself and get a little shy but what I do is shift it. I start to think I am this confident, sexy person who can dance and then I just do it. After you finish reading this post I want you to take 10 mins out of your day to dance and then see how you feel.

Getting Creative

Getting creative can be hard for some of us so I can understand feel you can't. So if you are a person who does know where to start to get creative let me give you a list.

<3 Drawing

<3 Finding diys on YouTube

<3 Scrapbooking

<3 What is something you do a lot in your daily life how can you make that better?

<3 Sewing if you are willing to learn

<3 Going in your closet and try to create a fashion-forward outfit even if you have to fake it till you make it

<3 New hobbies don't need to an expensive one

<3 Try looking up art to get inspired

The last and final one is

Giving yourself the space to be you

If we can't be a safe space for ourselves we would find shelter from the rain.

Reflect on your values and ask yourself are the actions you take align with the true you. Set boundaries with people and even yourself if needed.

Become aware of yourself then take action with self-compassion. Trying to become aware of yourself can sometimes be these wow moments when even surprise ourselves with the things we discover it can be crazy. Don't try to figure out in a day all the things you are not aware of (I tried to do this before) just be in a present state with your thoughts and actions log them down in a journal or a phone. And just also remember whatever comes up remember to keep compassion with yourself and think about the inner child in you that deserves kind words.

THANK YOU FOR READING I HOPE YOU HAVE A LOVELY DAY FULL OF GORG ENERGY! AND HEAL THAT POWERFUL FEMININE INSIDE OF YOU!

bye bye my beautiful babes