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amenbpdtism · 2 months

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A Look at Nightcord at 25:00 and Neurodivergency (Part 4)

Follow up to part 1, 2 and 3

Warning for r-slur in criteria from DSM

Akiyama Mizuki

Akiyama Mizuki is the video-maker of the group and my personal favorite so I might rant about them more. We know that they look cute things, are a rather out-going person who gets along with people well but often doesn't get close enough to out of their fear of being abandoned due to their secret. Now without futher ado, let's look at their symptoms.

Autism

Autism is mainly charactherized by social differences and repetetiveness in daily life to summerize a medical or common definition of it.

"A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple con- texts, as manifested by the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative,

not exhaustive; see text):

Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity, ranging, for example, from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back-and-forth conversation; to reduced sharing of interests, emotions, or affect; to failure to initiate or respond to social interactions.

Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviors used for social interaction, ranging, for example, from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication; to abnormalities in eye contact and body language or deficits in understanding and use of gestures: to a total lack of facial expressions and nonverbal communication.

Deficits in developing, maintaining, and understanding relationships, ranging, for example, from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit various social contexts; to difficulties in sharing imaginative play or in making friends; to absence of interest"

In other words

"A1 asks if your social interaction is neurotypical

Deficits in social-emotional reciprocity; ranging from abnormal social approach and failure of normal back and forth conversation through reduced sharing of interests, emotions, and affect and response to total lack of initiation of social interaction.[6]

You might behave differently in social settings than what is expected by society. For instance, when meeting someone for the first time, you launch into a monologue about yourself or one of your interests. Or, as an adult, you might mask but still struggle to maintain conversations built around small talk rather than in-depth discussions.

Do you like/love small talk?

Do you use small talk to indicate your class, education, income, religion, and political views without saying it directly?

Do you like being in social gatherings for extended periods?

Do you prefer speaking superficially and generally, rather than about your areas of interest?

Do you choose to hang out and socialize with people rather than interact for a purpose?

A2 asks about differences in eye contact, voice, body language

Deficits in nonverbal communicative behaviours used for social interaction; ranging from poorly integrated verbal and nonverbal communication, through abnormalities in eye contact and body language, or deficits in understanding and use of nonverbal communication, to total lack of facial expression or gestures.[7]

Here we are talking about body language, facial expressions, vocal timbre, pitch, and volume. You might not like eye contact, or you might stare. You might smile or laugh at times when something makes you sad. You might have a hard time reading others’ body language and knowing what they are feeling. You may be able to, but it will be a skill you’ve acquired and not something you know intuitively.

A3 asks if you have differences in your relationships

Deficits in developing and maintaining relationships, appropriate to developmental level (beyond those with caregivers); ranging from difficulties adjusting behavior to suit different social contexts through difficulties in sharing imaginative play and in making friends to an apparent absence of interest in people.[8]

Generally, by the time you reach adulthood, it becomes harder to make and keep friends. For example, suppose you tick A1 and A2. In that case, you will also tick A3 because if you struggle to communicate verbally and non-verbally, it will be harder to make and keep neurotypical friends.

For example, it can be tough to know when a person is a true friend and not just saying that they are a friend; or if someone is flirting with you or not."

So let's look at Mizuki:

A1; Mizuki's conversations can be one-sided especially when they're talking about something they like and launch into a monologue which is something many autistic people experience too so I'd say they fill this criteria.

A2; I've already covered autistic masking in the Mafuyu post but I believe Mizuki is a high-masking autistic too. In the stories, they seem to speak in a lower and softer voice than usual and some might account that to depression which might be true but there had been a few times where Mizuki got off nightcord and spoke in a lower tone too, also their voice gets louder when it's something they're excited about so you might account that into this symptom.

A3; Mizuki struggled making friends their whole life, while it was mostly probably due to thinking they wouldn't be accepted as a trans person or indeed not being accepted and keeping their distance with people to avoid that from happening again however some autistic people relate to that because of their autism or autistic trauma (communication trauma, bullying due to being disabled or specifically autistic, etc) and or account it to this symptom

"B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, as manifested by at

least two of the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive; see text):

Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypies, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).

Insistence on sameness, inflexible adherence to routines, or ritualized patterns of verbal or nonverbal behavior (e.g., extreme distress at small changes, difficulties with transitions, rigid thinking patterns, greeting rituals, need to take same route or eat same food every day).

Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).

Hyper- or hyporeactivity to sensory input or unusual interest in sensory aspects of the environment (e.g., apparent indifference to pain/temperature, adverse response to specific sounds or textures, excessive smelling or touching of objects, visual fascination with lights or movement)."

In other words:

"B1- Stimming

B2-A need for routine or sameness

B3- Special Insterest(s)

B4- Sensory issues whether it's being too sensitive to incoming stimuli or undersensitive"

For Mizuki:

B1- Like all the others, this isn't kind of hard to tell from 2D Models but Mizuki is one of the more "active" ones in this sense. They flap their arms and swing right & left when they're happy or excited about something and move around a lot more then others in 3d lives when talking so I could say they do show this symptom.

B2-I guess Mizuki does have a routine, a loose routine rather with either working on clothes or niigo work until and/or later 25:00. However they do sometimes suddenly decide to go to school as well so their routine might be easy to break too so this symptom may or may not be present depending on how people see it.

B3- This one is the most present I'd say and what led me to personally headcanon Mizuki as autistic as an austistic person. Mizuki is very passionate about their interests. They can go and go on about them in details, most obvious one being Miramagi in the "Now tie the ribbon" event.

B4- Mizuki is a "nekojita" aka "has a cat's tongue" which is a japanese term for people who are sensitive to hot food which may be counted as sensory issues too.

Mizuki seems to show enough symptoms to still be diagnosed so people could see them as implied autistic, autistic-coded or headcanon as autistic because they relate to them.

And lastly on this section, some common autistic traits Mizuki shows:

has difficulty opening up to others and sharing their emotions.

feel anxiety (somewhat) in social situations (especially when it gets to a deeper level)

Sometimes shuts down and just doesn’t want to speak at all (if I remember correctly)

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder

ADHD for short is a disability charactherized by inability focus especially when needed or the task is not interesting to the indivual and/or hyperactivity such as inability remain still and impulsivity to sum it up roughly. Now let's look at the symptoms:

A. A persistent pattern of inattention and/or hyperactivity-impulsivity that interferes with functioning or development, as characterized by (1) and/or (2):

Inattention: Six (or more) of the following symptoms have persisted for at least 6 months to a degree that is inconsistent with developmental level and that negatively impacts directly on social and academic / occupational activities:

Note: The symptoms are not solely a manifestation of oppositional behavior,defiance, hostility, or failure to understand tasks or instructions. For older adolescents and adults (age 17 and older), at least five symptoms are required.

a. Often fails to give close attention to details or makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, at work, or during other activities (e.g., overlooks or misses details, work is inaccurate).

b. Often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities (e.g., has difficulty remaining focused during lectures, conversations, or lengthy reading).

c. Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly (e.g., mind seems elsewhere, even in the absence of any obvious distraction).

d. Often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace (e.g., starts tasks but quickly loses focus and is easily sidetracked).

e. Often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities (e.g., difficulty managing sequential tasks; difficulty keeping materials and belongings in order; messy, disorganized work; has poor time management; fails to meet deadlines).

f. Often avoids, dislikes, or is reluctant to engage in tasks that require sustained mental effort (e.g., schoolwork or homework; for older adolescents and adults, preparing reports, completing forms, reviewing lengthy papers).

g. Often loses things necessary for tasks or activities (e.g., school materials, pencils, books, tools, wallets, keys, paperwork, eyeglasses, mobile telephones).

h. Is often easily distracted by extraneous stimuli (for older adolescents and adults, may include unrelated thoughts).

i. Is often forgetful in daily activities (e.g., doing chores, running errands; for older adolescents and adults, returning calls, paying bills, keeping appointments).

2. Hyperactivity and impulsivity: Six (or more) of the following symptoms have persisted for at least 6 months to a degree that is inconsistent with developmental level and that negatively impacts directly on social and academic/ occupational activities:

Note: The symptoms are not solely a manifestation of oppositional behavior, defiance, hostility, or a failure to understand tasks or instructions. For older adolescents and adults (age 17 and older), at least five symptoms are required.

a. Often fidgets with or taps hands or feet or squirms in seat.

b. Often leaves seat in situations when remaining seated is expected (e.g., leaves his or her place in the classroom, in the office or other workplace, or in other situations that require remaining in place).

c. Often runs about or climbs in situations where it is inappropriate. (Note: In adolescents or adults, may be limited to feeling restless.)

d. Often unable to play or engage in leisure activities quietly.

e. Is often “on the go,” acting as if “driven by a motor” (e.g., is unable to be or uncomfortable being still for extended time, as in restaurants, meetings; may be experienced by others as being restless or difficult to keep up with).

f. Often talks excessively.

g. Often blurts out an answer before a question has been completed (e.g., completes people’s sentences; cannot wait for turn in conversation).

h. Often has difficulty waiting his or her turn (e.g., while waiting in line).

i. Often interrupts or intrudes on others (e.g., butts into conversations, games, or activities; may start using other people’s things without asking or receiving permission; for adolescents and adults, may intrude into or take over what others are doing).

B. Several inattentive or hyperactive-impulsive symptoms were present prior to age 12 years.

C. Several inattentive or hyperactive-impulsive symptoms are present in two or more settings (e.g., at home, school, or work; with friends or relatives; in other activities).

If look at Mizuki:

For the inattention section, Mizuki doesn't seem to struggle with most. Yes, they struggle with going to school but that's due to factor like being judged or something that possibly stems from it which I'll talk later rather than difficulty sustaining attention and they're actually good with school work and studying, just not keeping attendance. They're also good with completing task related to niigo though some could argue that's because they enjoy it since people with ADHD tend to struggle retaining focus on tasks they find boring and can actually hyperfocus on ones they're interested in which brings me to symptom f; in the "Let's study hard!" event, Mizuki was sort of reluctant to get to studying like Akito and An at first. Executive dysfunction, which is something many people with ADHD struggle with, can come off as struggling to even get yourself to start something no matter how simple it is and that might be similar to Mizuki too or at least can be seen that way. They're good at studying however it doesn't seem to be something they enjoy (or at least was never mentioned to be) so you could say they fit into symptom 1f depending on how you percieve it but for this section, that's about it. Now then let's look into hyperactive/impulsive criteria:

A lot of this is hard to tell because we can't tell much from 2D models once again and their classtimes are not shown much so we don't have much information about leisure activities however on symptom f again, Mizuki does often talk excessively as I mention earlier, especially when it's something they're interested in qand you could account that to a multiple of factors.

Now, with all that, does Mizuki have adhd? It's kind of a mystery since we mostly see them doing things they enjoy, especially in the hyperactivity criteria, they may or may not be diagnosed however people can still headcanon them as much if they like them and have adhd especially. To add onto this, let's look at some common traits people with ADHD show that Mizuki has as well:

has rapidly switching emotions (which might be better accounted by something else but I'll add since it's a trait)

can impulsively spend money, especially on clothes

(up to interpatation) struggles with executive dysfunction

Dyscalculia & Dygraphia

Categorized under Specific Learning Disorder in the DSM is charactherized by difficulties reading, writing and spelling to sum it up. More specifically the symptoms are:

Inaccurate or slow and effortful word reading (e.g., reads single words aloud incorrectly or slowly and hesitantly, frequently guesses words, has difficulty sounding out words).

Difficulty understanding the meaning of what is read (e.g., may read text accurately but not understand the sequence, relationships, inferences, or deeper meanings of what is read).

Difficulties with spelling (e.g., may add, omit, or substitute vowels or consonants).

Difficulties with written expression (e.g., makes multiple grammatical or punctuation errors within sentences; employs poor paragraph organization; written expression of ideas lacks clarity).

Difficulties mastering number sense, number facts, or calculation (e.g., has poor understanding of numbers, their magnitude, and relationships; counts on fingers to add single-digit numbers instead of recalling the math fact as peers do; gets lost in the midst of arithmetic computation and may switch procedures).

Difficulties with mathematical reasoning (e.g., has severe difficulty applying mathematical concepts, facts, or procedures to solve quantitative problems).

Mizuki doesn't seem to show any symptoms as it was never brought up and the only subject they struggled with was English. However since Mizuki is a creative character like Ena, I can see why people with learning disabilities headcanon them as such.

Bipolar, Cyclothymic and Major Depressive Disorder

Bipolar Disorder which is often shortened as BD, BP or Bipolar is a disorder consisteng of high and/or low mood episodes called manic or hypomanic and depressive to put it roughly. There are 2, or 3 in some sources that include cyclothymia, of this disorder with Bipolar I having at least one manic or mixed (major depressive and manic) episode and Bipolar II having at least one hypomanic and one major depressive episode. if there's no (hypo)manic episode present and only a major depressive one, it could be diagnosed as Major Depressive Disorder or MDD instead so now let's take a closer look at the symptoms and these episodes:

(Hypo)Manic episode:

Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity.

Decreased need for sleep (e.g., feels rested after only 3 hours of sleep).

More talkative than usual or pressure to keep talking.

Flight of ideas or subjective experience that thoughts are racing.

Distractibility (i.e., attention too easily drawn to unimportant or irrelevant external stimuli), as reported or observed.

Increase in goal-directed activity (either socially, at work or school, or sexually) or psychomotor agitation.

Excessive involvement in activities that have a high potential for painful consequences (e.g., engaging in unrestrained buying sprees, sexual indiscretions, or foolish business investments).

C. The mood disturbance is sufficiently severe to cause marked impairment in social or occupational functioning or to necessitate hospitalization to prevent harm to self or others, or there are psychotic features. (For it to be considered a manic episode rather than hypomanic.)

Major depressive episode:

Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated by either subjective report (e.g., feels sad, empty, or hopeless) or observation made by others (e.g., appears tearful). (Note: In children and adolescents, can be irritable mood.)

Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day (as indicated by either subjective account or observation).

Significant weight loss when not dieting or weight gain (e.g., a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month), or decrease or increase in appetite nearly every day. (Note: In children, consider failure to make expected weight gain.)

Insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day.

Psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day (observable by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down).

Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day.

Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (which may be delusional) nearly every day (not merely self-reproach or guilt about being sick).

Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day (either by subjective account or as observed by others).

Recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide.

For cyclothymic disorder:

A. For at least 2 years (at least 1 year in children and adolescents) there have been numerous periods with hypomanic symptoms that do not meet criteria for a hypomanic episode and numerous periods with depressive symptoms that do not meet criteria for a major depressive episode.

B. During the above 2-year period (1 year in children and adolescents), Criterion A symptoms have been present for at least half the time and the individual has not been without the symptoms for more than 2 months at a time.

C. Criteria for a major depressive, manic, or hypomanic episode have never been met.

For Mizuki on (Hypo)manic episodes:

1.Mizuki had times where they praised themselves a lot or wantede to be praised by others for example so this might be seen as that symptom

2.Mizuki seems to sleep for the same amount, i haven't noticed anything abnormal so I'd say this symptom is not present

3. Mizuki is usually talkative when it's things they're interested in but I believe that can be better accounted by other things

4.Mizuki can occasionally get a flight of ideas if I remember correctly however I can't really judge if this due to a manic or hypomanic episode or happens a lot more momentarily

5.As I mentioned in the ADHD Inattention section, this doesn't seem to occur

6.This can happen and the opposite can happen at times too so this could be counted as episodic and a symptom that's present

7.This is present in Mizuki somewhat, they can impulsively spend a lot but I'm not sure if this is episodic or something more consistantly present

Mizuki barely fits shows enough symptoms for a diagnosis, it's just a matter of if this are episodic and lasted for a week at least however these don't seem to hurt others or themself to a degree where it might interefere with their work or daily life, maybe except last symptom, or require hospitilization or include psychosis so it would better constitute for a hypomanic episode than a manic episode if the other criteria are indeed met.

Now onto major depressive episode symptoms that Mizuki shows:

1.Mizuki definetely experienced this, especially in middle school as it can be seen in Kamikou Festival and And now, tie the ribbon events

2. This was also present, especially in the "And now, tie the ribbon" event where they were wondering what they'd do after miramagi ended, new animes would start but they didn't seem interested in them unlike before or now

3.Mizuki's apetite has shown to be decreased, especially in once again, "And now, tie the ribbon" event where their mom made their favorite food yet they said they weren't hungr

4.If I remember correctly during their depressive episodes, Mizuki tended sleep more than usual too however I might be wrong on this

5.I'm not sure about this

6.Mizuki seemed to have less energy in general during those episodes too if I remember correctly

7.Once again if I remember correctly since it's been a while, but in the tie the ribbon event and some other times they felt worthless when they were down

8.This was present in their episode too if I remember correctly (I apologize for not having screenshots from the tie the ribbon event and just going from memory) especially diminished ability to think clearly

9.This symptom, like everyone else in niigo, is present in Mizuki as indicated by Mafuyu "You all want to disappear more than anyone else" and the implication of them doubting continuing living in tie the ribbon event.

Now if I remembered everything correctly, Mizuki shows enough symptoms for a MDD diagnosis so cyclotymia is out of question because of the symptom c but also because they also barely show enough for a diagnosis of Bipolar II so people could see Mizuki as haing depression or bipolar-coded, etc.

Some Bipolar traits Mizuki shows are:

Rapid mood shifts

Impulsive

Higher creativity during hypo/manic episodes

and for MDD these are:

sometimes can get moody or snappy

sometimes feels very numb, like they have no feelings at all

Social Anxiety Disorder

Also known as Socialphobia, SAD or social anxiety for short is a disorder charactherized by anxiety, often intense, in social situation to sum it up.

Let's look at the symptoms again:

"A. Marked fear or anxiety about one or more social situations in which the individual is exposed to possible scrutiny by others. Examples include social interactions (e.g., having a conversation, meeting unfamiliar people), being observed (e.g., eating or drinking), and performing in front of others (e.g., giving a speech).

Note: In children, the anxiety must occur in peer settings and not just during interactions with adults.

B. The individual fears that he or she will act in a way or show anxiety symptoms that will be negatively evaluated (i.e., will be humiliating or embarrassing: will lead to rejection or offend others).

C. The social situations almost always provoke fear or anxiety.

Note: In children, the fear or anxiety may be expressed by crying, tantrums, freezing, clinging, shrinking, or failing to speak in social situations.

D. The social situations are avoided or endured with intense fear or anxiety.

E. The fear or anxiety is out of proportion to the actual threat posed by the social situation and to the sociocultural context.

F. The fear, anxiety, or avoidance is persistent, typically lasting for 6 months or more."

Rest are about it causing distress to indivual and is not better explained by another disability.

And Mizuki shows:

A. Present in Mizuki, they're often afraid of how others will judge them as shown in multiple stories

B.Mizuki often fears they will face rejection so we can say this counts too

C.The situation do seem to provoke anxiety, inconfidence or sadness at least

D.Mizuki avoid social situations most of the time, even to the point of possibly having another disorder or avoidant attachment style so I'd say they definetely show this symptom

E.Now this is where I might disagree as Mizuki has faced rejection in the past due them being transgender, most characters seem to be understanding of them however considering how society treats trans people, I wouldn't say it's "out of proportion"

F.These symptoms has lasted for at least years so Mizuki could be diagnosed with SAD, especially if it's not seen as "reasonable" for them being transgender or specifically transfem.

Common traits of SAD they show:

they fear people will see them as weak, crazy, stupid, boring, intimidating, dirty, unlikable, etc

has skipped school/work because of their anxiety

doesn’t like to disclose intimate details about themself

Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Or GAD for short is a disorder charactherized by anxiety in various things that might occur in daily life.

The symptoms are:

"A. Excessive anxiety and worry (apprehensive expectation), occurring more days than not for at least 6 months, about a number of events or activities (such as work or school performance).

B. The individual finds it difficult to control the worry.

C. The anxiety and worry are associated with three (or more) of the following six symptoms (with at least some symptoms having been present for more days than not for the past 6 months); Note: Only one item is required in children.

Restlessness or feeling keyed up or on edge.

Being easily fatigued.

Difficulty concentrating or mind going blank.

Irritability.

Muscle tension.

Sleep disturbance (difficulty falling or staying asleep, or restless, unsatisfying sleep)."

For Mizuki:

A&B. Mizuki sometimes worry about daily things however these seem to be reasonable or not as often or as severe as in GAD.

C. These don't seem to be present either or maybe only C1 so they likely wouldn't qualify for a diagnosis.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

OCD for short is a disorder charactherized by either obsessions, compulsions or both. Obsessions in this case refer to intrusive aka unwanted thoughts and compulsions to reduce anxiety caused by them. Intrusive thoughts can be a number of things like "What if my family gets sick", "what if i hurt my brother" or "my pet" and compulsions might be directly related to this such as compulsive hand-washing, hiding the sharp objects or avoiding being near your brother or pets to avoid "hurting" them or sometimes unrelated like "i have to flip the light switch 10 times exactly so my brother won't die". It's a complex disorder with many different characteristics and its own spectrum of disabilities however this is diagnostic criteria with either obsessions or compulsions taking at least one hour out of your day to be diagnosed.

Now onto Mizuki, Mizuki experiences a lot of thoughts about rejection which could be considered intrusive as they're unwanted and Mizuki tries to avoid these thoughts from coming through by actively keeping a distance between themself and people in this regard, these could be considered obsession and compulsion and may be seen as OCD however at the same time, these could better account for or be accounted for by other disabilities as well. Besides that, OCD traits Mizuki shows are:

feels an intense sense of responsibility to eliminate a threat, whether the threat is real or not

when they find new things they like (for example, a new TV show), they become obsessed with it

experiences a lot of anxiety

(Complex) Posttraumatic Stress Disorder

Or C/PTSD for short is a disorder quite literally in the name, it includes experiencing a traumatic event and many issues in your daily life in the aftermath.

Symptoms are: "A. Exposure to actual or threatened death, serious injury, or sexual violence in one (or more) of the following ways:

Directly experiencing the traumatic event(s).

Witnessing, in person, the event(s) as it occurred to others.

Learning that the traumatic event(s) occurred to a close family member or close friend. In cases of actual or threatened death of a family member or friend, the event(s) must have been violent or accidental.

Experiencing repeated or extreme exposure to aversive details of the traumatic event(s) (e.g., first responders collecting human remains: police officers repeatedly exposed to details of child abuse). Note: Criterion A4 does not apply to exposure through electronic media, television, movies, or pictures, unless this exposure is work related.

B. Presence of one (or more) of the following intrusion symptoms associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning after the traumatic event(s) occurred:

Recurrent, involuntary, and intrusive distressing memories of the traumatic event(s). Note: In children older than 6 years, repetitive play may occur in which themes or aspects of the traumatic event(s) are expressed.

Recurrent distressing dreams in which the content and/or affect of the dream are related to the traumatic event(s). Note: In children, there may be frightening dreams without recognizable content.

Dissociative reactions (e.g., flashbacks) in which the individual feels or acts as if the traumatic event(s) were recurring. (Such reactions may occur on a continuum, with the most extreme expression being a complete loss of awareness of present surroundings.) Note: In children, trauma-specific reenactment may occur in play.

Intense or prolonged psychological distress at exposure to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event(s).

Marked physiological reactions to internal or external cues that symbolize or resemble an aspect of the traumatic event(s).

C. Persistent avoidance of stimuli associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning after the traumatic event(s) occurred, as evidenced by one or both of the following:

Avoidance of or efforts to avoid distressing memories, thoughts, or feelings about or closely associated with the traumatic event(s).

Avoidance of or efforts to avoid external reminders (people, places, conversations, activities, objects, situations) that arouse distressing memories, thoughts, or feelings about or closely associated with the traumatic event(s).

D. Negative alterations in cognitions and mood associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning or worsening after the traumatic event(s) occurred, as evidenced by two (or more) of the following:

Inability to remember an important aspect of the traumatic event(s) (typically due to dissociative amnesia and not to other factors such as head injury, alcohol, or drugs).

Persistent and exaggerated negative beliefs or expectations about oneself, others, or the world (e.g., “I am bad,” “No one can be trusted,” ‘The world is completely dangerous,” “My whole nervous system is permanently ruined”).

Persistent, distorted cognitions about the cause or consequences of the traumatic event(s) that lead the individual to blame himself/herself or others.

Persistent negative emotional state (e.g., fear, horror, anger, guilt, or shame).

Markedly diminished interest or participation in significant activities.

Feelings of detachment or estrangement from others.

Persistent inability to experience positive emotions (e.g., inability to experience happiness, satisfaction, or loving feelings).

E. Marked alterations in arousal and reactivity associated with the traumatic event(s), beginning or worsening after the traumatic event(s) occurred, as evidenced by two (or more) of the following:

Irritable behavior and angry outbursts (with little or no provocation) typically expressed as verbal or physical aggression toward people or objects.

Reckless or self-destructive behavior.

Hypervigilance.

Exaggerated startle response.

Problems with concentration.

Sleep disturbance (e.g., difficulty falling or staying asleep or restless sleep).

F. Duration of the disturbance (Criteria B, C, D, and E) is more than 1 month."

For Mizuki:

A1, they experienced peer isolation and maybe even bullying which can be pretty traumatic.

B1, They get memories of them being abandoned by people they trusted when they revealed their "secret" whenever they try to trust someone again.

B3; in the "My Footsteps, Your Destination" event, they dissociated when Ena was asking about what was wrong because of their "secret" and in the last chapters when they were just about to tell Ena, they remembered others calling them weird which can be interpeted as a flashback or reliving the moment there briefly.

C1, they avoid getting too close with anyone to avoid the feeling of being all alone or abandoned again.

D2, they have a persistent belief that no one can be fully trusted.

D5, they try to avoid events involving people from school as much as they can (ex. culture festival, sports festival afterparty at first).

D6, they can't fully connect with others.

E3, once again their severe mistrust of others can be seen as hypervigilance as in "they will all end up the same, they will all leave me so I should be on-guard about what I share with them"

Mizuki barely misses the criteria by only having one symptom in the e section unless we can count spending as reckless behavior but since it said "or self-destructive behavior" I assume they don't mean that however Mizuki shows many signs of PTSD, especially in their avoidant attachment style and I can see why people with PTSD can related to them once again, especially people with a similar trauma. I certainly can.

Besides that, some PTSD traits Mizuki has are:

feels anxious and worried a lot, especially relating their secret

sometimes feels completely emotionally numb

experienced prolonged periods of sadness or hopelessness

Eating Disorder

As I mentioned before, it was said that Mizuki skipped meals and this could be easily accounted for by depression but there's small possiblity that it could be more than that and some people with EDs can relate still so I wanted to put it here, since there's not enough information given, it could be EDNOS if I was their professional www

Borderline Personality Disorder

BPD for short, is a disorder categorized by marked impuslivity, instability in relationships and sense of self as well as fear of abandonment to cut it short.

Symptoms are:

Frantic efforts to avoid real or imagined abandonment. (Note: Do not include suicidal or self-mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.)

A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.

Identity disturbance: markedly and persistently unstable self-image or sense of self.

Impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self-damaging (e.g., spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, binge eating). (Note: Do not include suicidal or self- mutilating behavior covered in Criterion 5.)

Recurrent suicidal behavior, gestures, or threats, or self-mutilating behavior.

Affective instability due to a marked reactivity of mood (e.g., intense episodic dysphoria, irritability, or anxiety usually lasting a few hours and only rarely more than a few days).

Chronic feelings of emptiness.

Inappropriate, intense anger or difficulty controlling anger (e.g., frequent displays of temper, constant anger, recurrent physical fights).

Transient, stress-related paranoid ideation or severe dissociative symptoms."

For Mizuki:

1.I think this is the most obvious one, Mizuki has a huge fear of abandonment and tries to avoid that from happening by not getting attached to people in the first place.

2. This isn't as present but them going between "I can tell them" to "I can't trust them" can be interpeted as such.

3.All members in niigo have an identity disturbance, Mizuki is the one who figured it more than others but they still struggle too define themselves besides that "they just wanna be themself" but did they exactly figure out who they are? That's debatable.

4.Again Mizuki can impulsively spend so this is definetely one however there doesn't seem to be a second one from what's mentioned here or I can think of.

5.Mizuki like others, want to disappear and often have suicidal thoughts which should be counted as suicidal behavior if you ask me.

6.Mizuki is described as moody in the official site (in the "past" description now) meaning they have rapid mood swings which can be seen in story by them being happy from small things or upset from small things as well.

7.Like others, Mizuki also feels empty. They have more of an idea of what they want to do but it's shown that they still feel empty, especially because of not being able to properly connect with anyone.

8.Mizuki is not or has been ever a very angry person from what I remember.

9.When they're stressed, they think everyone will turn on them and leave them which is the most common form of paranoia for people with bpd and they also dissociated in many events, especially as seen in my footsteps your destination.

Mizuki has enough symptoms that seems to be going on for several years so they could possibly be diagnosed with bpd or at least I can see why many people with bpd relate to them, especially on the first symptom.

Some other common BPD traits they have are:

might have disordered eating pattern

is sometimes obsessive

sometimes gets intrusive thoughts which they're unable to ignore

has a child-like curiosity

has a need for acceptance

has a natural rejection of people in authority

constantly feels like they need to prove themself over and over again

live very much in the moment

isolate themself, even when they need social interaction

has anxiety/panic attacks (if I remember correctly)

react very strongly to mundane experiences

has a difficult time making decisions sometimes

often feels misunderstood, mistreated, or victimized

feels distrustful and suspicious a great deal of time

heightened sense of empathy

Histrionic Personality Disorder

HPD for short is a personality disorder characterized by excessive emotionality and attention seeking to sum it up roughly. The symptoms are:

Is uncomfortable in situations in which he or she is not the center of attention.

Interaction with others is often characterized by inappropriate sexually seductive or provocative behavior.

Displays rapidly shifting and shallow expression of emotions.

Consistently uses physical appearance to draw attention to self.

Has a style of speech that is excessively impressionistic and lacking in detail.

Shows self-dramatization, theatricality, and exaggerated expression of emotion.

Is suggestible (i.e., easily influenced by others or circumstances).

Considers relationships to be more intimate than they actually are.

In Mizuki's case:

1.Mizuki does often want to be the center of attention and not at the same time. It's sort of complicated, they kind of want people to look at them and appreciate them but also want to avoid since it's because people are judging them most of the time

2.They can be teas-y to people like Akito but I'm not sure if that's what they mean by "provocative" here but besides being a little tease, this doesn't happen

3.Again it's mentioned they're moody officially however I don't know if that would be described as "shallow" tho sometimes it can be.

4.I would say no to this because their whole story is around not wanting to be judged or get too much attention because of the way they like to dress however they also wouldn't turn it down if it was positive

5.This is sort of true? Mizuki can exaggrate the way they talk, though it's often to tease or joke around but I don't know if I would call it lacking in detail exactly

6.Again Mizuki can dramatize themself, like in the world link event but this is often light-hearted

7.I don't believe this is true. Mizuki is the kind of person to stand their ground in any or at least most situations

8.Mizuki's attachment style is more avoidant so they actually can't ever consider relationships close enough

Mizuki could considered to have some histrionic or histrionic-like traits but I don't think any or most of them symptoms actually apply to them personally. I saw someone say Mizuki is like HPD and AvPD at the same time and I can sort of see where they're coming from but AvPD or avoidant attachment style is definetely more present so even if there was a case of HPD, avoidance of people would make it a lot more complicated to understand or detect.

However HPD traits Mizuki has are:

is very enthusiastic and can be very exciting to be around

often “fishes” for compliments

considered suicide

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

Also called NPD for short is a personality disorder charactherized by a grandiose sense of self, need for admiration and lack of empathy however many of these are a coping mechanism to hide the person's actually really low self-esteem. So then, let's look at the symptoms:

Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements).

Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love.

Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions).

Requires excessive admiration.

Has a sense of entitlement (i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations).

Is interpersonally exploitative (i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends).

Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others.

Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her.

Shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.

Now if we look at Mizuki:

1.Mizuki can exaggrate their achievements and like to be praised for them but this is also lighthearted a lot of the time

2.This is kind of hard to judge but I'd assume no since they have a hard time looking forward to future or being accepted at all

3.There hasn't been any evidence of this besides feeling misunderstood which some could say maybe they can only be understood by people they deem special however that's just one perspective

4.Again Mizuki likes to be praised for it however they don't seem to need to feel worthy but they often feel down so it might be a case of needing it to feel enough or good but being afraid to seek it but that's just a theory

5.I haven't seen any instances of this, if there was please let me know

6.Also there hasn't been any cases of this happening

7.Mizuki actually has a higher sense of empathy than most of the niigo members and was the first one to identify with the feelings of Mafuyu in the main story

8.Some could see them as envious of others' lives maybe, those who don't go through the struggles they do but they actually seem pretty content with their life or self despite all the struggles like maybe even a struggle with self identity so I don't remember any instances of this either

9.Any instances of this seemed to be lighthearted or joke-y as well

So Mizuki doesn't seem to show any symptom of NPD, perhaps other saw something I didn't and related to Mizuki; especially vullnerable NPD but that's about it. However let's look at common NPD trait Mizuki has too:

can have either low or high self-esteem. I find it depends on the people I’m with and how they’re treating me at the time

often feels incredibly misunderstood by others

has an avoidant attachment style

when upset, they tend to withdraw from others

this last one is a little controversial "try to read people’s weaknesses while hiding their own" because Mizuki does hide their weaknesses and try to know other's but it's not for any means like to lift themself up or feel important necessarily but people can still relate to it.

Avoidant Personality Disorder

AvPD or sometimes APD for short is personality disorder characterized by low self esteem and fear of negative social evulation. The symptoms are:

Avoids occupational activities that involve significant interpersonal contact because of fears of criticism, disapproval, or rejection.

Is unwilling to get involved with people unless certain of being liked.

Shows restraint within intimate relationships because of the fear of being shamed or ridiculed.

Is preoccupied with being criticized or rejected in social situations.

Is inhibited in new interpersonal situations because of feelings of inadequacy.

Views self as socially inept, personally unappealing, or inferior to others.

Is unusually reluctant to take personal risks or to engage in any new activities because they may prove embarrassing.

And let's look at Mizuki:

1.Mizuki avoids going to school most times out of the fear of being rejected so you could say this symptom is present

2.This is one of the more present ones as in Mizuki will form superficial relationships with most people but are only wiling to take it a step further only if they're certain of being liked

3.This is probably the most relevant one, Mizuki shows a big restraint in their relationships out of the fear of being rejected, being shamed. You could also say it's like not getting attached to them so "I can leave before they leave me" which can be relevant to the BPD part as well

4.Is indeed preoccupied with being rejected in social situations, I don't have much else to say on this; it's relevant in almost all stories

5.They're sort inhibited in new interpersonal situation or with new people but it's not quite because of feelings of inadequecy but being judged for how they present

6.I don't think this is prevelant, at least not to an intense degree and once again, Mizuki has a higher self-esteem than most members of niigo even if it's not perfect

7.I'd say this one is also not present, Mizuki is willing to try new things and offer to niigo even however they're reluctant to meeting new people if you count that but is not what's mentioed here

Mizuki shows a good amount of symptoms of AvPD, enough for a diagnosis however it should also be considered that if it's that or better explained by something else like just social anxiety, avoidant attachment style or what do you think? Is this normal for trans people and shouldn't be accounted into a disorder? If none of this explains better, they could recieve an early diagnosis of AvPD however it's important to judge carefully.

And last but not least! Common AvPD traits that Mizuki shows:

Is emphatetic but focuses more on the negatives

feels like group settings are easier than one-on-one conversations because there is less attention focused on them

avoids initiating contact with people as much as they can, at least beyond a surface level

doesn't like to show any form of negative emotion in front of other people

And that's it for Mizuki and "A Look at Nightcord at 25:00 and Neurodivergency" series. Sorry this one took so long, I haven't been mentally doing the best and didn't have the energy sit on here and write for hours but it's finally here! Once again, this is mostly for fun where I looked into common ND headcanons for Mizuki, not saying Colopale intended any of this necessarily and if there are any other conditions you'd like me to look into, please let me know! Hope you enjoyed the series!

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22degreehalo · 6 months

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One of the (many!) things that frustrates me about the way we talk about emotional labour is, why did we broaden it from customer service employees to women in relationships and then just... stop?

I've heard from so many men about how they need to keep a lid on their emotions at all times because they're always at risk of being perceived as a threat. Even positive emotions, if expressed too intensely, can accidentally read as hostile or angry or just overwhelming, and get them in trouble. Of course, this is especially true for any men viewed as especially big and strong, or just 'weird' and 'unpredictable', like disabled men and men of colour. (Whether the reactions to these outbursts is 'reasonable' or not is totally irrelevant - it's still work, being done silently and without empathy!)

And let's not even get started on neurodivergent people. How many autistics spend every goddamn social interaction putting in twice as much work as a neurotypical just so they can express the socially expected emotions? Keeping a lid on overstimulation, forcing themselves through focus problems, even guessing at the reactions 'normal people' would have to conversational topics so as to avoid being clocked and stigmatised, or even just so the other party correctly parses their behaviour as 'we're friendly and I like you!'?

The obsession with women helping boyfriends with their emotional issues - to the extent that the term has almost completely departed from its customer service origins - reads to me like it's getting a lot of its social cachet from assumptions that aren't actually unintuitive or progressive at all. It is very easy for people to complain about this aspect, rather than all the others I've mentioned, because men aren't supposed to have emotional issues in the first place, and their reliance on girlfriends is less about fulfilling a cultural narrative than that being really their least public (and therefore least likely to get them punished by other men) resort.

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lilflowerpot · 1 year

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i just saw your reply saying you wrote keith with your experience with autism in mind without realizing it! i just want to say that i love how personal this fic is for you, whether you intended it or not! like, looking back and realizing you connect even more with your character (bc you’ve developed keith so well he’s practically yours) is so cool!! and the autistic-coded-ness fits with the character so well, it fits with his foundations from the show and also the world you’ve built

anyways yeah just came to say i love that for you, as a huge fan of your work!

anonymous(2): Hello!! I recently read your little blade fanfic and I'm about to re read it as well, I love it sm! I saw that another person had said they related to Keith in relation to their autism and I'm so happy they did because I do as well!! I love seeing representation like that even if it's unintentional lol, and I was wondering if you had any autistic headcanons for Keith and or Lotor and if being galra effects that? If not that's totally chill! I hope you have an awesome day or night!

Thank you both! I'm honestly so happy to see so much love for autistic-coded Keith, he deserves it ♡

I don't explicitly have any autistic headcanons for either Keith or Lotor, because (as anon 1 said) it wasn't entirely intentional on my part. When writing Keith, I knew from the start that I wanted to explore his galra side and how that element of himself impacts his experiences, and obviously because he looks human this was always going to manifest in his instincts/behaviour; what with the galra being aliens, I wanted them to feel more nuanced than simply "tall purple humans" which lead to me playing around with the differences in how they might express themselves and the ways in which this might have caused Keith difficulties in the past.

Autism itself manifests in different ways to different degrees in different people, but broadly speaking it's a variation in how the brain works as opposed to the majority. According to the NHS, the key traits include:

difficulty communicating with / understanding the thoughts and feelings of others, unintentionally coming across as blunt / rude / uninterested, and misreading tone / intent in others

struggling with anxiety in unfamiliar situations / social settings, often preferring a set routine with clearly defined "rules", and difficulty making friends (and/or preferring solitude)

heightened pattern recognition, attention to detail, and senses

over-stimulation from things neurotypicals might consider mundane, such as bright lights / loud noises / strong smells / eye contact / physical proximity and/or touch

self-stimulating behaviours (stimming) often repetitive movements / sounds that can serve a variety of purposes

a keen or intense interest in a particular subject area / activity

These, obviously, are only the very broadest of strokes (and I comped together many of the bullet points for brevity's sake) but as you can see a lot of them are applicable to Keith—not only in LB, but in VLD too! As such, I don't think it's especially surprising that in dissecting his character so as to better understand and therefore write for him, I ended up creating a lot of overlap between autism and the galra, with the latter becoming a metaphor for how the former sees people (like Keith!) being "othered". With regard to Lotor, it's actually quite interesting because his galra/autistic traits are considered "normal" in Imperial society, whereas it's everything altean about him that has been met with reproach.

#in summary: being galra doesn't effect keith's autism because I essentially wrote being galra as a metaphor //for// autism #if that makes sense #Ao3 Little Blade #sa screams back #galra history & culture #keith kogane #prince lotor

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caddyheron · 7 months

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I totally agree aaron doesn't get enough love in the fandom. Tho tbf he is just Some Guy. What are your thoughts on him?

Note: this is coming from a place of sadness and evilness. Normally he’s just some plot device to me idk. There is a lot of hcs and thoughts here btw, also feel free to send more asks lmaoo

Hhh mentions eating disorders a little bit btw

So my big thing is that he’s so fucked up from his relationship with Regina. He was a token to her and neither of them really liked each other and he felt so pressured by her manipulation to get back into a relationship with her. With Regina being a deeply closeted lesbian, Aaron is just some token of status and worth, some guy she sort of kind of likes. Whereas I see Aaron genuinely loved her and is so fucked up by it all.

A lot of behaviours Regina displays, he gets so confused when Cady doesn’t display them too. So. I hc Regina has quite a bad ed and is also very controlling of other people’s food/body [seen a lot in how Regina treats Gretchen], and I see her being the same way with Aaron. Sometimes she’d eat some of her lunch, but at a point, he stops packing proper lunches because he doesn’t want Regina’s comments. She’s also intent on him going to the gym every day. He’s very confused when Cady doesn’t act like this and goes on dates to restaurants and eats etc

I hc he ends up with really bad anxiety and, as much as he tries to, he isn’t someone who can actually mask or hide it at all. If he has a panic attack, he’s having a panic attack right then and there. [As opposed to someone like Gretchen who will hide and suppress forever.] He doesn’t realise how bad his anxiety is because he just thinks it’s Normal that he can’t breathe or see or stop shaking when he’s around Regina.

Also, hc he already knows Regina is cheating on him with Shane which is why his reaction to Cady telling him is just “why would you tell me that?” Because he. already knows but it’s easier to let it happen than to confront it ever. He wants to be loved by Regina so badly

He’s deeply mediocre at everything. He’s never been good at anything at all, he’s just okay at everything and it fucks with him so much, especially when he finds out he isn’t even That Good at maths. Aaron can do okay at everything but perpetually feels like disappointment because he isn’t perfect or better. Also following from this, bad relationship with his parents and they’re quite absent.

Older brother to a sister who’s a few years younger than him. He’s very good at being an older brother and sacrifices a lot for her. Following from this, he cooks for her a lot but he isn’t that good at cooking so it’s just the most mediocre and basic things [again, because he’s just okay at a lot of things].

Bonus hcs:

Big brown eyes that go all soft and dark when he’s sad about something

Token neurotypical who understands Cady’s autism so well. This is based off me and my partner, but if somethings too loud for her [like when a train pulls in] but doesn’t go on long enough to need headphones, he puts his hands over her ears. Cady is equally as understanding about his anxiety [however. Cady and Aaron do not date that long because Cady was mostly just a bit hyperfixated and needed to fit in. For awhile, Aaron is convinced this is because he did something wrong even though it Isnt]

#tw ed #mean girls #aaron Samuels #I probably have more thoughts

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electriccenturies · 1 month

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Autistic Anthropology

(In defence of embracing a certain sort of neurodiversity)

How do you embrace a disability that causes you so much stress? I think the concept of “autistic pride” is hard to swallow for a lot of people, whether because they themselves suffer from their autism, or because someone they love is impacted in such a way that looks an awful lot like suffering. It’s hard for me to come to grips with, too. I have a lot (a LOT) of thoughts on this, and especially about the flattening of the autistic experience by (and for the benefit of) the least impacted among us. It’s hard to look at the mainstream autistic pride movement and come away thinking something other than, “I don’t know if this is helpful for all autistic people…” or “if I had a severely autistic child, I think I’d see these people as my child’s enemy too”. I say this to explain my position, and also so you don’t think I’m doing the same thing here, focusing on only my high-functioning peers while claiming to speak for all. I do not!

(If you are also interested in that other side of things, I recommend you read Freddie DeBoer’s excellent article “The Gentrification of Disability”.)

Personally, I am one of those people who wishes they weren’t autistic. At the same time, I’ve come to understand that there is, indeed, a logic and a sense of community within my experience as an autistic person. I’d like to examine this.

If you are autistic yourself, maybe there will be something helpful for you here in terms of losing any shame you hold in that. And, if you’re not autistic, maybe you can get some insight into a set of social norms that are different from – yet entirely within – your own.

First, a word on language: I don’t particularly care for the word “allistic”, mainly because so few people in the general public regularly encounter it often ends up taking longer than just saying the definition. However, for the sake of clarity here, where it will come up frequently, I am going to define it anyway, and use it in lieu of getting into an argument about what the word “neurotypical” means. So: “allistic”, a word which here means “not autistic”.

Now, on to the cultural relativism bit!

The first order of business is to shift your concept of “pride” and “self acceptance”. Rather than seeing those things as good, or even neutral, you can just see them as the opposite of shame. You do not have to enjoy being autistic to reap the benefits of autistic pride, because guess what — you’re stuck autistic whether you approve of that or not. I will appeal to the autistic sense of logic here: the best option is totally irrelevant; what really matters is the best available option. I would love a cure myself, but there isn’t one and never will be, so why waste my time wallowing in that? How will shame help anything? Maybe the best option is to be allistic, but the best available option is to work with what I have.

The next task is, naturally, to learn to work with it. I think one of the best ways to go about this is to understand your struggles as a culture clash of sorts, and to imagine yourself not as wrong — nor everyone else as absurd — but as simply different. Those differences don’t have to be neutral in practice (and in fact, they often aren’t, at least in the context of being an extreme minority), but they are morally and logically neutral. The same way that allistics often label autistic behaviour as meaningless, I think we autistics tend to do the same in reverse. People seldom do things for no reason at all.

This is the double empathy problem: the breakdown in communication between allistic and autistic people is a two way street. Our lack of understanding is mutual, and — like anything cultural — experiences outside our ‘normal’ can be challenging to make sense of.

Personally, I figure myself a bit of an anthropologist of allistic culture. I think I am pretty decent at “masking” (hiding my autistic traits), meaning that if you talk to me in person, you probably won't know that something is ‘off’. Maybe you’d pick up that I’m anxious, or a bit idiosyncratic, or fidgety, but you probably wouldn’t guess autism. This is not natural to me; it’s a learned process. It’s a learned thing for everyone, I think — autistic or not — but for autistic people it doesn’t ever become automatic or intuitive. The rules don’t get internalized, they just get compiled into an ever-expanding mental resource that you can learn to frantically flip through as best you can in the moment. It’s a very conscious process, at least for me, and it’s draining as hell. More purist advocates of autistic pride will tell you you should simply not mask at all for this reason; I think that will also make your life worse, because you still have to live in a world where 97-point-whatever percent of the population is allistic. This is such an overwhelming majority that it is all but impossible to get by if you don’t know how to adapt.

For any allistic readers who are struggling to conceptualize what it’s like to live inherently outside the norm (which is understandable), I’d explain it like this: top live in allistic society is akin to being in a play where everyone else knows all their lines, but you don’t even have the script. Everyone keeps telling you, “it’s easy, just memorize the script!” and ignores you when you try to explain that you can memorize just fine, the problem is that you never got a copy of the script to memorize from. Still, nobody will give you one, and if you don’t work at picking up little clues here and there as to what your lines are, you will have a very hard time of things. Quite the conundrum! This is where the benefits of masking comes in.

I actually think it’s really important and empowering for autistic people to understand that everyone is ‘acting’ to some extent. Autistics just struggle with it more because the desire to do so is less innate, and because we do not get access to the same level of information as an allistic person does (ie. you can manually learn to read social cues all you want, but it won’t do any good if you’re not picking up on said social cues to interpret). It is also culturally foreign to us, because we tend to value authenticity in a way allistic society does not. If you imagine it this way, it becomes (slightly) less of a burden and more of a tool that you can wield. You can learn the rules well enough to know when it’s worth breaking them. You can gain a level of autonomy that so many of us crave.

In my experience, autistic people tend to see this sort of thinking as manipulative — which it is — but in fact it’s normal social manipulation. Or, maybe expected is a better word. It’s permissible by society, if not by our internal moral code. I think this a nifty little tool for self acceptance; it allows you to see these decisions as functional things for your own benefit rather than as a show you put on for others. I also think autistic people are, on average, well equipped for the skills needed to do this, the innate researchers we tend to be.

So, that’s the first piece of this — understanding the culture you were born into, and learning how to live in it. Here are my, uh, ASDs, if you will, of developing that sort of cultural awareness.

Advocate & Accommodate

One thing I do think autism advocates are largely right about is that allistic society spends far too much time and energy trying to un-weird us. There are autistic traits that are limiting, distressing, or objectively an issue — and those things are worth working on — but there are many autistic traits and habits that are subjective problems. That is, they are only ‘problems’ in that they are culturally strange to allistic people. This also goes for adaptive things that, by adulthood, many of us needlessly deprive ourselves of despite the fact that it would make our lives better at no cost to ourselves or anyone else, all in pursuit of an unattainable ‘normal’.

By this I mean little things, like managing sensory issues, or engaging in activities that are meaningful and joyful,though atypical they may be. As an adult, you can do things like cut the tags off your clothes, or wear your socks inside out to avoid the seams, or use children's fruit-flavoured toothpaste if mint is too much, or carry around a fidget toy, or eat the exact same thing for dinner every day, and nobody even has to know! It’s such a pity that so many of us have been asked to feel shame about our needs to the point where we will ignore them even when meeting them does not come with consequences.

I think autistic people often have somewhat-too-flexible mental boundaries (or ‘poor theory of mind’, I guess) and are so used to acting that we feel like we always have an audience. It’s important to learn when we don’t. It’s confusing, granted, because allistic society does judge, they’re just not omniscient about it.

Likewise, it’s important to learn when not to care about the judgement. Something that has made my life somewhat better is being more open about my diagnosis in the sense of specifics. I don’t generally go around telling people I’m autistic just for their understanding (though I would if I found it productive), but I will say things like, “I don’t want to be annoying, but I’m not going to pick up on hints that I am, so if I’m bothering you you’ll have to tell me directly and I’ll do my best to stop”. Personally, I feel less stressed when my intentions and needs are clearly stated. This is not culturally ‘typical’ for allistics, who are often much more indirect… but I’m not trying to be culturally appropriate; I’m trying to bridge the gap

Script & Study

Many allistic social norms are actually highly scripted, and if you study the reasoning behind it you can build a set of relatively easy social algorithms that can help keep you from getting stuck. I highly recommend giving this a try; I have found that it lets me have a degree of control over something that is frustratingly illogical to me, and it helps me engage with the world sans-shame. Again: I’m not stupid, I’m (cognitively) foreign.

If you are an allistic person reading this, I implore you to use a bit of cultural relativism here as I try to explain the machinery behind things that, to you, might seem base-level inherent to personhood. You don’t think about these things because they are fundamental building blocks of your culture, well-normalized by the way you grew up, but they are not objectively correct. They are only correct through consensus, and, in the case of an allistic person vs an autistic one, because you have a brain tuned to these sorts of behaviours.

Basically, my theory on this is that it’s a lot easier for autistic people to do uncomfortable things if there is a clear answer to “why”. Autistic people value logical reasoning; we can learn the reasoning behind allistic cultural weirdness. If you ask allistic people these sorts of “why” questions, you will often get an answer along the lines of “that’s just how the world works”, or “because it’s polite”, or “because it’s the right thing to do”. Ask “why” again and people get upset because they don’t need to think about that stuff… but there is an answer, they just don’t know it. It’s innate to them, or they’ve intuitively picked up on it. For autistic people, this is our second language, so we have to understand the grammar — so to speak — in a bit more of an active way.

Where I (and many other autistics, I think, going off of what I see in autistic spaces) get stuck is in the ambiguity of neurotypical social interaction. We are literal, black-and-white thinkers in an indirect, wishy-washy culture. This is what I mean about one’s manual reading of social cues being only as good as their perception; autistic perception for social cues tends to be bad, because we work in fundamentally opposite ways to allistic society. Where allistics are indirect, autistics are direct; where allistics value conformity, autistics value authenticity; where allistics need interpersonal rituals to establish their hierarchy, autistics reject the rituals and the hierarchy. It leads to building algorithms that can go something like (for instance) this:

As you can see, you end up with 19 possible outcomes, which is a lot to sort through! It’s easy if you can directly follow a path, but remember: that requires a lot of information that an autistic person might not get access to. Or, sometimes the answers are ambiguous. It’s entirely possible to not only get stuck before getting to the right solution, but to get stuck before reaching any solution at all. I chose this example of small talk because, in my experience, it trips a lot of autistic people up even if they know how to solve it in theory. “Does this person want a genuine response” is a really hard question to answer if you do not understand the norms behind it.

I think the idea that our social skills are not lacking, but merely different, can coexist with the understanding that this becomes a disability when it is such a small proportion of people. You have to understand that autistic people (including yourself) don’t do things for no reason. Our social actions also have a logic to them — more of a logic, in my obviously biased opinion.

… Don’t?

If you are doing conscious cost-benefit analysis, then you can also decide what is not worth masking for. Remember, this is not an exercise in coming across as allistic, it’s an exercise in getting the most out of your life as an autistic person in an allistic world.

An example would be that, personally, I don't really care to put effort into making good eye contact not because I don’t feel self conscious about it, not because I don’t know the purposes it serves for allistic culture, not because it never limits me… but because I’ve decided it’s not worth it. The cost (finding it hard to focus and think, hindering my ability to communicate effectively) is not worth the benefit (allistics thinking I’m paying attention ‘correctly’). I have a hard enough time with oral communication, why would I make it worse for a superficial benefit? If you can justify these little things to yourself, I think it becomes much easier to accept it when people are upset about it. I know I accommodate them much of the time, so I don’t feel any shame asking them to accommodate me on major functional things — that’s called give-and-take! If people aren’t okay with that… well, most of the time they are not people I want in my life.

This also goes for things like recreation. I think you should simply not go to parties if you hate them, instead of trying to force yourself just because you (or someone else) thinks that’s what you’re “supposed” to do. You should not work on “diversifying” your interests just because people think it’s wrong to care so much about something repetitive or mundane. You should not change the media you consume just because others judge, you should not give up what brings you joy for completely arbitrary reasons. If you know what’s arbitrary and what is, well, slightly less arbitrary, then these choices are easier to make.

After this, you can shift to making choices to, at different times, either adapt, consciously not adapt, or to find people who are easier to connect with. That last bit is key, I think. It’s important to find yourself a metaphorical enclave of ‘expats’ of allistic society. This is invariably going to include other autistic people, but it can also include those who are otherwise ‘other’ and more willing to adjust communication styles. These relationships are, in my opinion, generally best when they stem from a connection aside from autism — from a shared interest or activity, perhaps. In my experience, these relationships with others of our culture can be not just fulfilling, but also healing in that things make sense for once. I know how to talk to autistic people in a way I’ve never managed to grasp with allistic people.

I don’t think that experience is uncommon; one of the core differences between autistic and allistic communication norms is that the balance of “information sharing” to “emotional negotiation” is tilted differently. When I talk to other autistic people, I am always pleasantly shocked at how smoothly it goes. We don’t waste time on emotional subtext: if someone has a concern or feels hurt, they say so. Otherwise we simply pass information back and forth, which is enjoyable if you like the same sorts of information. Having people who share your culture and can do such things is vital to a happy existence as a minority.

So there you have it: a different way to view autism, and a less stressful way to make it through the world. I hope this has been helpful, or at the very least has encouraged you to question what you perceive as ‘normal’ or ‘obvious’ — in yourself, or in others. Like I said: it’s a two-way street! We just have to care to understand each other, and keep perspective when we don’t.

#my writing #this is what resulted from that thing I was writing before…

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lookoutjoe · 2 months

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like i said before i think the biggest conflict in CSNY in the late 80s is that Stephen and David are two very different kinds of people they're both addicts but David is a lot more like. vocal about his emotions and expressive and i guess as a result of that openness he's a lot easier to read and thus to reach out to and help and even though he has a reputation as being stubborn i feel like he's much more malleable than Stephen in terms of being able to better himself as a person and learn from his mistakes i think Stephen is much more caught in self-destructive behaviour loops than David is and i also get the sense that Stephen is like basically always using drugs and alcohol as a means to escape from himself and i mean basically every addict has some sort of motivation like that but i think the biggest difference is that David is not fundamentally afraid of who he is as a person so the part of giving up hard drugs that means self accepting and learning to like exist as a person without any sort of anaesthetizing of your soul or whatever is something he can do because he knows who he is without hard drugs he knows who he is without crack and heroin and i don't know if stephen is ready to face who he is yet especially when he's around people who don't get him on the level neil does

i dont even remember which CSNY book i read it in or who said it in particular but i think about all the time how grass is described as a social drug while cocaine is a very solitary drug and i kind of think that david spent so long with grass as his main vice where it was kind of tied up with his reputation kind of like. he's somebody who is much more able to actually meaningfully connect with people around him. Stephen is much more closed off. you almost get the sense that at least in CSNY Neil Young was the only person to ever truly understand him and that Nash and Crosby were both holding him back and pushing him further into his addictions because he just needed to like get away from himself if he couldn't be understood. like i understand that. why would i want to give up the one thing that makes it bearable to be around other people who i care about and respect and who respect me but who i don't think truly /get/ me in the way that neil young does. like fuck even just as an autistic person who lives with my neurotypical family i totally understand what drove stephen to drink so much -- not even mentioning the perceived rejection from the one person who truly "understood" him as a person (this is getting into RPF territory and i don't even mean romantic rejection more just generally like. being abandoned. i mean neil quite literally did abandon him) -- why would you want to learn to face yourself if you feel like "yourself" is somebody who can't ever be loved.

whatever

#🗣️ speakin' out

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sharpth1ng · 1 year

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When do you think Billy realizes he's autistic? do you think he would actually get a formal diagnosis?

This goes one of two ways imo.

1. Billy gets a formal diagnosis young because he’s an obvious autistic kid

This one is more likely if Billy is cis, because it’s a lot easier for AMAB kids to get diagnosed than it is for AFAB kids, especially in the 80’s when he would have been a kid. Also, an autism diagnosis would have made it a lot harder for him to access transition (which is a stupid but unfortunate reality).

In this case I think Nancy is just an attentive mother and notices some places Billy is struggling so she brings him for assessment. It’s the 80s/90s and the internet doesn’t exist the way it does now, so Billy might know he’s autistic but he probably wouldn’t be open about that or have the kind of language to describe his experience that we have now- meltdowns, sensory overload, ect.

Those are concepts that come from autistic communities because historically diagnosticians have been neurotypical and tend to label us based on where they are “deficits” so the language is more like “social difficulties and restricted interests and patterns of behaviour” (never mind the fact that many of us have restricted patterns of behaviour because we are avoiding sensory triggers- that’s a conversation for another day).

In this version he grows up knowing he’s autistic but all the information he gets about it is from neurotypicals and is framed in that “but you can overcome it and be totally normal” kind of way which can be really easy to internalize if you don’t have contact with other autistic folk. If you’re capable of masking at all, people start going “well I couldn’t tell!” like it’s a compliment, which just feels patronizing as hell, but you only realize it’s patronizing when you’re exposed to the idea that “normal” is both a deeply biased concept and also not something that exists objectively. It turns your identity as an autistic person into something that should be hidden which sucks. Dude doesn’t need more shit to hide.

2. Billy doesn’t get a formal diagnosis and doesn’t consider himself autistic until adulthood

This version is more likely with trans Billy for the reasons listed above. This one also hinges on the fact that he’s growing up in the 80s, when there is significantly less widespread knowledge about autism.

In my family I am the only person with a formal diagnosis, and the other family members I have who I believe are also autistic are much older and they just got treated as “weird, sensitive”. I don’t think they considered diagnosis because they were able to survive despite having some really obvious difficulties that could have been dealt with or accommodated if they had considered themselves autistic.

I think given when he grew up this could easily have been Billy’s experience, and again, with no internet he wouldn’t have access to those concepts or that language until much later in life. It would have been “he’s just standoffish and really into movies” rather than “he struggles with neurotypical social expectations and he has a special interest in movies.”

Anyways this was a long, ramble answer, hopefully it makes sense!

#autistic billy loomis #debaser fanfic #stuilly #ask

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martyrbat · 2 years

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Hi! Um, I thought I would offer you these panels from utrh of Dick with a knee brace, as per your last few posts about disabled representation in comics. Also indirectly answering that other anon who said that representation in comics isn't exciting and can't work with them being superheroes...

And I mean, you can totally write intriguing and interesting stories about a character coming to terms with their disability and figuring out that while it makes them different from who they were before, they're still a fucking hero. (Like Babs becoming Oracle after losing the use of her legs. Making her walk again and be Batgirl again... Idk how you can call that anything other than ableism?? She's seriously cool as Oracle, that def didn't need any retcons.)

Anyway, I think the problem is that many people associate being disabled with ableist prejudices of helplessness, without even being fully aware of it. Which is exactly why more rep in any type of media would help!

my friend! your post is as wonderful and insightful as always and thank you so much for the panels, i forgot which comic they were from! this it was exactly what i was referring to and imagining when talking about his knee brace, thank you again!! i love how its something that allows him to continue being a hero and that it just exists instead of being a big plot point. just casual and normalized use of mobility aids my beloved <33

and absolutely agree in it creating interesting stories of them adapting and handling the changes they need to make because of their disability and how it doesn't make them weaker! i think to this panel from the batman chronicles specifically:

[ID: Barbara Gordon smiling at white birds as she's in her wheelchair. Behind her un-detailed people are walking as they go about their lives. Her hair flows slightly in the wind and her internal narration boxes read, "A little over a year has passed since my old life ended, since I died and was reborn. The shadows remain, but only to give contrast to the light. I am no longer a distaff impersonation of someone else. I'm me - more me than I have ever been. My life is my own. I embrace it, and the light, with a deep, continuing joy." END ID]

the entire issue is so well done in her voicing her discomfort and fear and anger at her sudden disability and the change. because of course its frustrating to have that sudden change. of course she feels lost when she based her purpose on being batgirl, something that depended on her being physically abled. and seeing that voice and feelings being represented alongside of it highlighting and showing that she still has purpose and is just as powerful and capable of doing what she loves is so <3 she found her identity, not as an extension of anyone else but just as herself, as a disabled woman. and how happy she is!

i think abled people tend to be so uncomfortable with the idea of disabled people (especially physically disabled people) being happy or still being powerful. they hate the idea of disabled people not being weaker to them while also hating the anger and frustration that can come with being disabled. they hate seeing us successful and just as capable and hate seeing us as human rather than a "poor victim" to put up on a pedestal for inspiration porn that makes them feel better about themselves.

we're allowed to "motivation" to them as they simultaneously think its unnatural for us to be happy or successful on our own. we're either looked down at or held to standards that abled people arent - never to be equal. im allowed to be just as pissed off as someone that can walk and move around freely. i should be allowed to be as messy or rude as someone thats neurotypical without being viewed as a child to pity or as someone that should be better than them in my behaviour. i should be allowed to be smart and sexy and funny and complex as anyone else. my disabilities doesn't make me more or less of a person. it just makes me a person thats disabled.

disability is such a broad spectrum. from paralyzed, needing canes or wheelchairs or any mobility device, needing hearing aids or anything that's physically noticeable. to chronic pain and neurodevelopment disorders and other invisible disabilities. and everyone's experience is different with each one and its so vast. the opportunities it allows and how fascinating and empowering it'll be to see this range and how these characters handle it is unbelievable and such wasted potential. from dealing with the sudden frustrations and limitations to it just being part of them.

it can literally be one panel in a random comic that says nightwing needs a knee brace because of worn cartilage and have it be part of his character casually and consistently. have an ongoing arc and theme of random brain injury side effects because of the head trauma hes taken and have a moving moment in being reassured and how he struggles with it. have something.

theres so much they can do and just refuse not to. the only reason disabilities isnt represented is pure ableism, there is no excuse.

#again its always so nice to see your posts :)#hopefully my reply is coherent as im sipping my brain soup with a fork bc i have NO spoons but #anyways. tired of not being allowed to casually exist as a disabled person.#im not anyones victim and im not inspirational just because im alive and disabled. its condescending and insulting #barbara gordon #oracle #nightwing #dick grayson #the d in dcu is for disabled #company in the crypt #nature my beloved #calling all my mutuals and favourite accounts my beloved my beloved... <3

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the-cat-and-the-birdie · 1 year

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I vibe with hyperfixating w/ characters. To varying degrees I’ve fixated on: Armin from AOT for a while, 1D had a DEATH GRIP on me for a few years, (SEVEAL book characters through my teen years)I had an Alucard from castlevania fixation for maybe 3 ish years (‘ending’ only recently) and now Hobes lives in my head rent free ngl.

I get the “being sad cuz you can’t meet them” part, I’ve felt it. I try to not daydream TOO much cuz otherwise it takes over my life and I’m doing a considerable effort to live OUT of my own head, but BOI do I LOVE just daydreaming about my blorbos of choice.

I don’t speak too much about it (mostly the daydreaming) cuz to an extent it feels like a “me thing” (like something I don’t wanna share with anyone cuz it’s special to me), but if given the chance I DO info dump on my fixations.

I don’t think it’s cringe, not at all. These things are stuff that helps us process the world and our experiences with it. I believe everyone has sensitive weird shit that they don’t talk about, but if there’s something Ive learned is that we hardly ever have completely unique experiences. Most people just hide their oddness. Fandom being a prime example of how much our blorbos can mean to us. I think it’s okay and normal. (Until it goes overboard and people send idk violent messages to others because they headcanon something differently idk, the unreasonable stuff imo)

Can’t believe our of everything people would dare to make JOY and INTEREST the things with negative connotations. Being mean should be cringe, being a bully should be embarrassing. But unashamedly enjoying stuff?? That’s wonderful.

Anyone too embarrassed of their own vulnerability that they deal with it by making others feel bad about their interests are the most immature out if all of us.

Joy is everything that’s good with the world.

Even just seeing the letter 1D makes me wanna scream (in a good way!!) cause it takes me back to high school lol 1D was a bit older than me so my grade had Mindless Behaviour (does anyone remember them, where they even popular) but I remember the days where 1D was like the definition of summer songs

And I can totally understand the 'me thing'. Like I never really spoke about it but I felt like I knew my daydreams were more substantial or vivid than the 'average person' so to say.

Or when I spoke about characters to other people, I understood that neurotypicals likes characters, but they often didn't see them as fully formed 'persons' in the way I do - as to say, they didn't speculate or see emotional backstory, connections, or their behavior the way I did.

I never really shared any of my daydreams because like - I can't even get into it that's like asking someone to explain Star Wars to someone who doesn't even know space travel exists.

I grew up in a time on the internet where self-inserts and OC were seen as cringe, and someone would be very quick to call out 'Mary-Sue's (or flawless OCs) whenever they could.

It's not like that now - but in juxtaposition to canon x canon shipping, that bias is still there I feel like. Like it, as a work of fandom art has less 'value' that art or fics of canon only characters

It kinda bums me out still.

I think OC and daydreams and self-indulgent inserts are all the best part of fandom because it's the purest way of fans connecting with content on a personal level.

I'm happy that I see more people pushing back on that lately. Like after years of seeing people viciously hate furries when most of them seem like very nice, fun people, it's refreshing for people to be like 'nah, actually this thing is cool. and im gonna spend of time and/or money on this thing cause i makes me happy;

like you remember when the new Star Wars movie trailers came out and that dude reacted to it and he was moved to tears and people made fun of him??

yeah fuck everyone else that dude knows whats up.

Like yes, openly cry to your faves. Fantasize deep meaningful daydreams that help you process your feelings. Draw your OC with them, or learn every single thing their is to know about them.

That's why I wanted to talk about this. Because I've never heard it spoken about before. Maladaptive daydreaming, yes - and that can be harmful. But I hardly ever hear people talk about the basic mundane experience of it - or even how it can enrich our lives and help us emotionally develop of neurodivergent people.

When I think of it that way, it's something that makes me happy. I don't think I'll ever be able to describe it fully, and that's the point. Our stories are private to us, not because theyre embarrassing, but because they're so us that to even describe it would like describing a new world top to bottom

I love it. It's what makes humans humans.

#Thank you for this!!! Reading this is like living on planet Earth for once like yess!!! You get it!!#neurodivergency #neurodivergent #actuallyautistic #actuallyaudhd #actuallyadhd #adhd #autism #audhd #character fixations #hyperfixations #cringe culture

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amenbpdtism · 3 months

Text

A Look at Nightcord at 25:00 and Neurodivergency (Part 2)

For notes, check out part 1

Warning for r-slur in criteria from DSM

Asahina Mafuyu

Asahina Mafuyu is sort of the main character of the unit "Nightcord at 25:00" and does the arrangement of the group. In terms of personality, she appears very friendly and nice on the outside but on the inside she struggles with a persistent feeling of emptiness and constantly trying to live to her mother's expectation while having lost her sense of self. Now let's have a look at her and her symptoms.

Autism

Autism is mainly charactherized by social differences and repetetiveness in daily life to summerize a medical or common definition of it.

"A. Persistent deficits in social communication and social interaction across multiple con- texts, as manifested by the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative,

not exhaustive; see text):

In other words

"A1 asks if your social interaction is neurotypical

Do you like/love small talk?

Do you use small talk to indicate your class, education, income, religion, and political views without saying it directly?

Do you like being in social gatherings for extended periods?

Do you prefer speaking superficially and generally, rather than about your areas of interest?

Do you choose to hang out and socialize with people rather than interact for a purpose?

A2 asks about differences in eye contact, voice, body language

A3 asks if you have differences in your relationships

For example, it can be tough to know when a person is a true friend and not just saying that they are a friend; or if someone is flirting with you or not."

So let's look at Mafuyu:

A1. Mafuyu on the outside seems to be able to do this perfectly so to some people she might not seem autistic because they think "autistic people wouldn't be able to do that at all" but there's this thing called "masking" which is actually officially recognized and is mentioned in criteria c, "C-Symptoms must be present in the early developmental period (but may not become fully manifest until social demands exceed limited capacities, or may be masked by learned strategies in later life)." which is what many people believe mafuyu does, she's really good at masking because in reality, she's not interested in most things that aren't related to making songs with niigo and often gives really short answers. She's also not good at understanding others' emotions so these differences led many people to headcanon her as autistic.

A2. Mafuyu once again does this perfectly when she's around people however when she's around niigo, her voice becomes a lot more cold and deep and she doesn't use gestures and such much from what we've seen in 2d models too for example unlike when she's masking.

A3. The issue I mentioned in the previous post stays still but Mafuyu does seem to easily make friends when she's masking but she doesn't even consider most of them friends or real friends at least and there's a select few she can solely act like her true self around.

"B. Restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities, as manifested by at

least two of the following, currently or by history (examples are illustrative, not exhaustive; see text):

Stereotyped or repetitive motor movements, use of objects, or speech (e.g., simple motor stereotypies, lining up toys or flipping objects, echolalia, idiosyncratic phrases).

Highly restricted, fixated interests that are abnormal in intensity or focus (e.g., strong attachment to or preoccupation with unusual objects, excessively circumscribed or perseverative interests).

In other words:

"B1- Stimming

B2-A need for routine or sameness

B3- Special Insterest(s)

B4- Sensory issues whether it's being too sensitive to incoming stimuli or undersensitive"

For Mafuyu:

B1- I haven't seen any stimmimng since again we can't tell that much from 2d models and mafuyu doesn't move much in 3d lives however maybe this hand position could be providing some comfort to her because it's usually how she positions her in lives.

B2- Her routine is pretty same however this was mostly due to her mother having a huge hold on her life and not because she necessarily wants it to be that way. It seems to follow a routine ever since she ran away too however it's not a very strict routine or noticeable like Kanade's.

B3-Mafuyu's at a point in her where she struggle's to find anything interesting so this criteria is kind of hard to judge.

B4- While most autistic people are sensitive to sensory stimuli around them, it is also possible to be undersensitive which mafuyu most of the time feels hard to feel anything at all and is known to especially be undersensitive to things she can taste.

Someone has to show all 3 symptoms in A criteria and at least 2 in B criteria since birth so Mafuyu realistically may or may not get diagnosed with autism but especially because of the A criteria and her masking, I can see why a lot of autistic people relate to her or her struggles in daily life.

Also some common traits Mafuyu shows are:

has difficulty picking up on sarcasm or metaphors

often uses overly literal language

has difficulty opening up to others and sharing my emotions

Sometimes shuts down and just doesn’t want to speak at all

has trouble with perspective and understanding others’ viewpoints

has difficulty self-analyzing and therefore have difficulty letting people know how she's feeling and expressing her needs

comes off as harsh sometimes because she has difficulty understanding others

Schizophrenia

Schizophrenia is a disorder charactherized by experiences with psychosis and/or withdrawal from socializing to loosely sum it up but let's just look at the symptoms, shall we?:

"A. Two (or more) of the following, each present for a significant portion of time during a 1 -month period (or less if successfully treated). At least one of these must be (1 ), (2), or (3):

Delusions.

Hallucinations.

Disorganized speech (e.g., frequent derailment or incoherence).

Grossly disorganized or catatonic behavior.

Negative symptoms (i.e., diminished emotional expression or avolition).

B. For a significant portion of the time since the onset of the disturbance, level of function- ing in one or more major areas, such as work, interpersonal relations, or self-care, is markedly below the level achieved prior to the onset (or when the onset is in childhood or adolescence, there is failure to achieve expected level of interpersonal, academic, or occupational functioning). C. Continuous signs of the disturbance persist for at least 6 months. This 6-month period must include at least 1 month of symptoms (or less if successfully treated) that meet Criterion A (i.e., active-phase symptoms) and may include periods of prodromal or residual symptoms. During these prodromal or residual periods, the signs of the disturbance may be manifested by only negative symptoms or by two or more symptoms listed in Criterion A present in an attenuated form (e.g., odd beliefs, unusual perceptual experiences)."

Mafuyu's symptoms are:

In the a criteria; delusions, hallucinations and disorganized speech are different symptoms of psychosis and Mafuyu did experience hallucination in the Secret Distance side story of her card so she might check symptom 2, we know she experienced it just not how often. And her speech as i mentioned have become much more shorter aka alogia and many other symptoms in this criteria such anhedonia aka loss of interest in things, affective flattening aka diminished social expression, asociality, alexithymia aka diminished ability to recognize your feelings and more.

B. These do cause her great trouble emotionally and mentally, she's just good at hiding these, or masking these, that they don't reflect on others much.

C. The signs of the negative symptoms (Psychotic symptoms of schizophrenia are called the "positive symptoms" and others such as social withdrawal are called the "negative symptoms") have lasted for years however we don't know if the psychotic symptoms have lasted enough so this might not be checked however this is also why I considered Mafuyu being schizophrenic rather than just psychotic depression.

Some common schizphrenia traits Mafuyu shows are:

has difficulty expressing herself.

has experienced these symptoms since childhood or adolescence.

is frequently depressed and have little hope for her future.

has become more withdrawn since her symptoms began.

has a low appetite.

experiences dissociation.

Major Depressive Disorder

MDD for short, is mostly characterized by low mood and changes in daily actions due to it in daily life for 2 weeks or more to sum it up.

The symptoms are:

Depressed mood most of the day, nearly every day, as indicated by either subjective report (e.g., feels sad, empty, hopeless) or observation made by others (e.g., appears tearful). (Note: In children and adolescents, can be irritable mood.)

Markedly diminished interest or pleasure in all, or almost all, activities most of the day, nearly every day (as indicated by either subjective account or observation).

Insomnia or hypersomnia nearly every day.

Psychomotor agitation or retardation nearly every day (observable by others, not merely subjective feelings of restlessness or being slowed down).

Fatigue or loss of energy nearly every day.

Feelings of worthlessness or excessive or inappropriate guilt (which may be delusional) nearly every day (not merely self-reproach or guilt about being sick).

Diminished ability to think or concentrate, or indecisiveness, nearly every day (either by subjective account or as observed by others).

Recurrent thoughts of death (not just fear of dying), recurrent suicidal ideation without a specific plan, or a suicide attempt or a specific plan for committing suicide.

Symptoms Mafuyu shows are:

This is present, Mafuyu is in a low mood and especially feels emptiness almost every day.

Mafuyu's lost interest in pretty much everything to the point that she doesn't know what she wants to do anymore.

This isn't present likely because her mother was keeping her in check

Also doesn't seem to be present because, again her mom was keeping her check however we do know that she went to sleep late so maybe insomnia was present.

When not masking, her movement is a lot more slower than usual and to most people around her so this is present.

I'm not sure about this one because energy loss might have been present due to her losing interest in most things too but because she had to hide it from others.

She did felt worthless at some point if i remember correctly? But she was mostly lost to on what to do in general.

This was present in indecisiveness in the way that she didn't like or care about anything anymore that she barely chose anything when she was given a choice to do herself.

This is once again the most present symptom in most niigo members, Mafuyu was the one to say others wanted to disappear or die like she did too.

Many people say Mafuyu canonicaly has depression however her symptoms can mean a number of things but it is very clear why so many people think that way and I'm glad Project SEKAI writers gave many different presentations of depression. On top of that, as I stated before, Mafuyu experienced hallucinations too which could mean she experiences psychotic depression like many people say.

Other common traits and signs of mdd seen in Mafuyu are:

Imagines herself dying somehow

Sometimes, can get moody or snappy

Often feels very numb, like she has no feelings at all

blames herself for things which could not possibly be her fault

Schizoaffective Disorder

Schizoaffective Disorder is charactherized by experiencing sufficent amount of a major mood disorder (more specifically a mani episode, a mjaor depressive episode or a mixed episode) symptoms alongside of schizophrenia symptoms. These episodes or symptoms usually occur together or within a few days from each other and since Mafuyu's depressive symptoms are pretty much always there and she experienced hallucination during it too, perhaps schizoaffective disorder could be a fitting diagnosis too.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder

Or GAD for short is a disorder charactherized by anxiety in various things that might occur in daily life.

The symptoms are:

"A. Excessive anxiety and worry (apprehensive expectation), occurring more days than not for at least 6 months, about a number of events or activities (such as work or school performance). B. The individual finds it difficult to control the worry.

Restlessness or feeling keyed up or on edge.

Being easily fatigued.

Difficulty concentrating or mind going blank.

Irritability.

Muscle tension.

Sleep disturbance (difficulty falling or staying asleep, or restless, unsatisfying sleep)."

Now I'm gonna cut this short again, Mafuyu does experience some worry about daily things like her work performence but a majority of this is because she's scared of disappointing or hurting her rather than actually caring about those things so some people with intense GAD relate to her on those things but I personally don't think these symptoms would count towards a diagnosis.

However some common traits Mafuyu also has are:

has anxiety attacks

when she's stressed, she can become snappy with others

onstantly worries about the quality of her performances at work and/or school

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

OCD for short is a disorder charactherized by either obsessions, compulsions or both. Obsessions in this case refer to intrusive aka unwanted thoughts and compulsions to reduce anxiety caused by them. It's a complex disorder with many different characteristics and its own spectrum of disabilities however this is diagnostic criteria with either obsessions or compulsions taking at least one hour out of your day to be diagnosed. Maybe Mafuyu's intrusive thought could be related to disappointing her mother and compulsions are basically almost everything she does but the reason I've seen most people relate to Mafuyu with ocd is because Mafuyu said "Just think you'll die if you don't do your work" to Ena and Mizuki in an area conversation which reminded of them their intrusive thoughts telling them those kind of things.

Some common OCD traits Mafuyu has are:

has anxiety or panic attacks

sometimes mirrors other people.