#this is very cracky but

[frownyalfred]

I like to think Bruce made some sort of deal with Talia or Ra’s so that he can’t be brought back by the Lazarus Pit.

Cut to his inevitable death and like, most of the batfamily is arguing and simultaneously pushing him into the water (Clark is helping through the tears) and his body just bobs in the water like a cork. No magic, no change, nothing.

It’s Bruce’s one final middle finger from the grave because he told them he didn’t want to be brought back.

[honeyhotteok]

HIIII I love your blog♡♡♡

I Was wondering if I could make a request, like the lookism boys (you can choose) react to an extremely beautiful and ethereal fem!reader who looks so pretty and feminine she looks like a princess from a fairytail

Of course if you want, remember to stay safe and healthy!!!

HI!! aww thank you sm!!!🥹🫶🫶 sorry this took so long this is my first time writing hcs instead of my usual fic format but turns out actually writing it took exponentially less time than the time i spent thinking about it lool but here you go anonie! i did the j high boys so ended up making it more specific to a school context :)

hope you're staying safe and healthy too!!!🥹💖

Lookism J High boys react to pretty new girl (fem!reader)

(Daniel, Zack, Vasco, Vin)

Daniel Park

Daniel looks up from his seat at you as you enter the room, everyone already murmuring about the gorgeous new girl.

He gets up to introduce himself to you and ask for your name, not paying any mind to all the positive attention you're already getting.

He knows firsthand how daunting it is to start at a new school and has had extensive personal experience feeling ostracized in his life. So he wants to make sure others don't have to go through the same thing if he has any say in it, and regardless of what you look like (although he of course notices how pretty and ethereal you look, too.)

Zack Lee

Zack would wake up from his desk nap from being blinded by a bright ass light flooding into the classroom as you walk in. Squinting and grumbling with dried drool on the corner of his mouth.

He would stare at you and your beauty in awe for a quick second, then-

"Wait. You're not Mira, the fuck."

Then he'd go back to sleep.

Vasco

"There's a new girl? In the Architecture Department?!" The Burn Knuckles members jump off of each other, quitting their horseplay to hover near the doorway in anticipation.

The moment you walk in, gasps and oohs and ahs can be heard from the guys. Your long hair flowing down your shoulders in the most perfect way and you dazzling the room with your pretty smile without even trying.

A single, fat tear rolls down Vasco's cheek.

"V-Vasco! Why are you crying, you haven't even tried talking to her yet!" Jace attempts to comfort his friend in vain.

Vin Jin

Vin rubs his hands together, smirking and plotting what he's going to say to you to charm your pants off. The usual should be fine-

"Don't even think about it." Mary says without looking up from her phone.

"What the fuck are you on abou-"

"Leave the poor girl alone, you fucking dimwit." Mary pulls Vin by the ear and leads him down the hallway away from you, ignoring his curses and whining.

She lets go, throwing him as he staggers further down the hall in the opposite direction.

Vin turns his head to look around, completely disoriented by being suddenly thrown into this dimmer, different section of the hallway. He squints through his sunglasses and reaches out, fumbling around with empty air.

"Mary?! Dammit, where are you?" He calls out helplessly.

[jtownraindancer]

missing my second favourite revolutionary spy played by burn gorman tonight 🇬🇧

[eri-pl]

But what about the Silmaril's rights?

Or "the erason why the Feanorians shouldn't get them, which may be somwhat compelling even to the more pro-feanorian of you (because it's not about the Sindar)" (to be clear: my goal is not to invalidate the Sindar)

So, the Silmarils are alive. They do have feelings: they enjoy the light (I will not give quotes because my book is in Polish, but it's in their description). This may be a hyperbole or something, like Balrog's wings of shadow, but I'm not sure it is. Elves, with their ability to perceive other minds, would probably not attribute feelings to something that doesn't have them. Not in a serious text like the Annals of Aman.

How did Feanor make them, you ask? He cannot create life. Yes. He didn't create them in the strict sens, or even in the typical artistic sub-creation sense. He bred them. He created them like an artisan gardener creates a living chair from a willow. He bred them from the light of the Trees, and they are offspring of the Trees.

Does it mean they belong to Yavanna? No, I don't think so. In the logic of modernday agricultural corporation or dog breeder they would, but I don't think she would see them as more hers than every plant is hers. More beloved by her, maybe. Maybe not. She has no problem with the idea of them dying, so probably less.

I'm not going to make claims on who they legally belong to under this or that law, that's not the point of the post.

The point is that they are creatures with feelings. And they love light, they metabolize light, they probably need light to thrive. And Feanor in his later days keeps them closed in a dark treasury. And Melkor keeps them on his evil face (considering their nature I would be very unsurprised if the burning of the evil caused them as much pain as the burned person) in a dark fortress.

That's animal magical jewel abuse.

And the sons of Feanor who want to claim them, would also all cause pain to them. Sure, ok, maybe they would keep the gems in a bright, uncovered place where they could see their cousins (sun and moon) and shine for all to see and not be closed like a pupy in a cage. Maybe they would not touch them.

Both of those seem extremely unlikely, considering all facts. SoF are reasonable, and the reasonable thing to do with the Silmarils is to keep them secret, keep them safe in a dark, closed place. (And if you think they would give the jewels proper enrichment, look into my eyes and say: "Yes, I think that the sons of Feanor would put empathy for other living being over their oath".)

(Yes, I know thay have trauma. This post is not about hating them. It is about whether they are fit to take good care of magical jewels. Unprocessed trauma doesn't help in that. they need emotional support jewels, and the Silmarils are not trained for that, they do have a trauma of their own.)

And the Silmaril loved Luthien, oh how itloved her, she shone so bright and the gem drank it and gave it back and it was wonderful it was killing her but she loved this little creature too much to care.

It's complicated. You have a (magical and somewhat holy puppy) who one guy bred and abused (because he didn't know how to care for it and was made distrustful of the people who could teach him, and he had unprocessed trauma), then he died and now his sons believe they'd all go to hell if they don't get the puppy and keep it safe in a tiny cage, and there's the girl who stole the puppy from a terrible guy who abused it (because he's Like That), and it's so happy with her and then there's all that mess.

(I imagine them as some weird thing between animal, plant and magic... they don't talk or move, but they do feel a lot.)

So, as I asked in the title: what about their rights?

[tennessoui]

i ALSO finished chapter 2 of a more perfect union so I’m on a roll today 🎉🥹

[lurafita]

Jace's ever changing last name

Warning: Cracky thought ahead: Alec gets increasingly miffed with Jace every time his last name changes.

"Wayland, Lightwood, Morgenstern, Herondale. Do you have any idea of the kind of paperwork I have to do every time your lineage changes? This better be the last time, Jace, I swear to the fucking angel!"

[yoihino]

Inspired by @noodles-and-tea Gravity Falls x Phineas & Ferb crossover, an extremely cursed AU where Bill goes to Dr. Doofenshmirtz for the portal instead of Ford. (More under the cut because this got long).

This involves Stanley and Ford having more or less made up somewhere in the last 30 years after the reunion which didn't end in their separation (because there was no portal) and Phineas and Ferb and possibily the whole gang going for a week stay at Gravity Falls while the Pine twins are also there (going through the show, except the author is there and both grunkles are more willing to help them learn about the supernatural).

I don't know how Phineas and Ferb would get in contact with Bill. Presumably he isn't confined because he never contacted Ford, so maybe he would just visit them in a dream (most likely Phineas, because Ferb is much less impulsive and so probably wouldn't initiate the building of a portal incited by a possibly imaginary possibly malignant entity). The other possibility is to make this a fusion with the Phineas and Ferb: Across the second dimension, except in Gravity Falls because Dr. Doofenshmirtz concludes the only place with enough weirdness/magic to fuel the portal is there. This would then mean that Bill conctacts Dr. Doofenshmirtz, incites him to build a portal making him believe it would accomplish what it does in the movie, and instead when fixed by the brother's creates the rift. This then could lead to all kind of fun things such as extra bonding time between the brothers and the twins, perfect for angst for when Bill inevitably tricks someone into giving him the rift.

Other fun ideas I had while writing this:

Perry and Waddles befriend each other. This involves both pet shenanigans with the twins and the brothers and Waddles following Perry and finding out about his secret agent job, most likely joining in. I think it would be very funny if Mabel saw them but just went along with it as a game. Otherwise you could follow the Phineas & Ferb movie plotline and make it really angsty for everyone, your choice

Perry is here on a mision to stop Dr. Doofenshmirtz from building the portal, and is probably why the brothers got to go on a vacation to gravity Falls in the first place. Bill obviously is just using Dr. Doofenshmirtz, so when this is revealed Doofenshmirtz will align with our heros, if only to spite the evil triangle. Also the portal is now called portalinator and it still has a big red button to stop it but it also blows up and dissapears as is normal in the Phineas & Ferb world

Stan and Ford befriending Phineas and Ferbs mom and dad (I don't remember their names :( ). I think Stan would appreciate the mom's no nonsense but still willing to have fun attitude, and Ford would like the dad's more reserved but still nerdy disposition.

Mable and Ferb sharing dating advice. That's it

In addition to the brother's parent never finding out about their inventions, they also now can never seem to see anything of the supernatural stuff going on. Candace would think she has gone crazy if it weren't for Soos and Wendy

Weirdmaggedon is more or less the same but we get to see Candace taking on the responsability to help/save her brother's and their friends (the movie's character arc, basically), the parents possibily mantaining their chill attitude while going full on apocalypse survivalist mode, and the final battle mecha being even better because now they have the brothers and Doofenshmirtz also working on it.

Possibly mixing and doing something with the fact that both the Phineas & Ferb movie and the Gravity Falls finale have an 'erasing the memories of a loved one' plotline

After the finale they stay friends through the year through letters and make plans to meet up again next summer

[setevulpo]

this is probably very nonsensical but i, as any normal person, was looking up if the number five had a connection with christianity for louis reasons and? it does?

putting it under the cut cause it's a lot of religious rambling in connection to the san francisco trio, mostly about jesus and his crucifixion and resurrection

so the closest relationship the number five has with christianity is through the five holy wounds that jesus got when being crucified. the fifth of them is seen as the most important of them because it is the one used to make sure jesus is dead

now, i was rewatching episode 5 and the moment when daniel asks louis about the guys he took back to the apartment kinda stuck with him because louis doesn't actually say he brought five guys there before, he says daniel is the fifth

if is pretty much thrown at us later that louis is lying out of his ass by saying that, but i still find it interesting that he decided to say five instead of... literally anything else? he could have said none, he could have given a vague amount, but he picked five

of course there's more to that last wound, other than the fact that it was made with a specific weapon (the lance of longinus). this last one was said to have been made on the side of jesus' chest, and although it's never specified which side it was on, it's often depicted to have been on the right side of his body

not saying that the entirety of the events of san francisco (including daniel getting bit on the right side of his neck, twice) caused the death of something, but. they kinda did. i mean yes everyhting was growing strained already but the change in the loumand relationship between episode 5 and 6 is huge. they're not in great terms, practically walking into the divorce office at this point

now of course if i'm gonna talk about the wound i gotta mention the guy who made it, because he was a roman soldier who did not have a name in the canonical gospels but ended up getting named in the apocryphal 'gospel of nicodemus' (meaning that it isn't considered canonical scripture)

armand was, willingly or not, very involved in the downfall of his relationship with louis. in addition to that, while he did have a name (which he mentions not knowing if it is his real name), he was later given one by the person with unquestionable authority over him and his existence (marius)

other interesting (and kinda funny) thing about this guy is that as soon as he killed jesus, he was spontaneously converted to christianism. just, immediate "i killed you but i will now worship you" decision

and then there is the resurrection. three days after his death, jesus comes back from the dead and goes on with his life. CAN I GET A WAHOO FOR ANOTHER THREE DAYS? louis de pointe du lac, you allegedly asked armand to erase your memories three days after you let daniel go

this man asks armand to erase the memories of daniel and the time in the apartment and his very near death, and then goes on with his life as if none of it happened. three days after.

i could probably go on about numbers in the bible and the san francisco interview (eg. daniel was let go on the sixth day and god created man on the sixth day) but this is rambly and nearly ludicrous already

[domoz]

Or, alternate funny version to the previous: any combination of Uchiha watching Tobirama fight and discussing their observations (gossiping/oogling shamelessly), after peace exists and they SHOULD technically probably help him, but... Tobirama can clearly handle it, no need to get in his way

I once read that a drabble is 200 words or less. I will never beat those allegations.

The ability to share memories with the sharingan really isn't meant to be used this way, but that's never actually stopped anyone.

"I swear to you," Says Madara with a snicker, "He slapped himself in the face with a water whip. Acted like it never happened, but I saw it."

The scene is a bit more endearing than that, when Madara shows it. Tobirama is sparring with his students and one of them can't quite dodge in time. That jutsu can break skin and cut through muscle if it hits right, but rather than hurt one of his students that badly, Tobirama jerks it back. He breaking the whip's momentum but loses a good portion of control and,  indeed, slaps himself in the fact with it. He looks rather akin to a wet cat.

Madara and Izuna both break out into another fit of laughter, but Hikaku just shakes his head fondly.

"I've seen him do that on purpose, actually." He says after the laughter has died down a bit. It's not exactly the same -- the memory he calls up had been recorded on accident. It had been in those early days of peace, when seeing Tobirama move water about had made him call up the sharingan on instinct, back when they'd be so concerned that he'd break peace that he wasn't allowed to go off on missions alone.

I'd been rather rote mission -- dealing with bandits who had thought they could take advanced of the disorganization of a new village. It had had been hot, the summer temperatures soaring high and uncomfortable, and they'd both been sweat soaked and sticky by the end of it.

"Excuse me" Tobirama had said the moment he'd cause sight of a source of water. He'd let himself jump in ankle deep instead of standing on top, raised an arm, and proceeded to dump an honestly excessive amount of water over himself. Of course, his mastery over water let him pull water out of his clothes until he was just the right amount of damp without any effort-- Hikaku had been and still is jealous over it -- and even back then, eyes lingered on where wet clothes stuck to well-defined muscle.

Thankfully no one comments. The sharingan's tendency to show the exactly what was seen means they've all shared unintentionally embarrassing moments. Plus, Hikaku knows he's not the only one who's done that exact thing.

"Oh, sensei will do that for us, if we ask!" Chimes in Kagami, thankfully too young and oblivious to understand why his cousins are giving Hikaku the side eye. He launches into a memory of his team begging and pleading to be allowed to train on the water on another hot day. His sensei had crossed his arms, unimpressed, and said he knew that the lot of them had all mastered water walking already…

…But that if the lot of them managed to prove they could do their D-rank mission without complaining, he would think of a way to cool them all off. In Kagami's young memory, the cool mist Tobirama had raised from the pond of the garden they'd been weeding had been the most refreshing thing he'd ever felt.

"…He's too soft on you." Madara says, without any real heat.

"He's something." Izuna responds dryly. "Sometimes I forget, none of you have ever seen what it's like when he really wants to get something done."

Without warning, Izuna calls up the memory of a fight. No… A spar, but a bloodthirsty one. Probably one of the first ones they'd had since they were allowed to again, after peace was called. A mixture of pent up frustration and the fact that they were no longer supposed to kill each other had both of them showing off -- Izuna was prone to do it, regardless, but this was the first time he'd seen Tobirama opt for techniques that were more flashy than practical. A water dragon with mutliple heads split apart into multiple, chasing Izuna through the trees, each one eating one of the multi-fireballs Izuna hurls out to counter them.

Tobirama did not hesitate, leaping out from the steam and twisting his fingers. The droplets of water in the air shimmered and twisted until everything was an indistinct haze.

Not that it stops a sharingan. But something about the scene -- the way the light hit the mist, haloing Tobirama with a sort of rainbow -- or maybe the way he's smirking -- makes Izuna pause.

Oh, he thinks.

Oh, thinks everyone else.

[eruisapenguin]

SCP Foundation x Cat!Reader

I had a dream of being a cat so I wrote about MC's experience being a cat in the Foundation because uhh, why not.

I'm still kinda contemplating whether or not I should make the owner a canon character or an OC.

Second POV

CW: language, slight violence.

—————————

Okay.

So.

You're a cat now.

Fine, awesome, absolutely fucking fantastic, you are definitely not hyperventilating right now!

Yep, very much peachy.

….Yeah, no.

Hardly can you chalk it off as some elaborate lucid dream anymore since everything around you just…felt so real and ginormous, which is understandable because you’re a cat and all—oh, and to be more specific, an emotional support cat. Hell! You can't even take care of yourself! And now you're supposed to help a guy with their mental well-being? You never asked for any of this!

Well, at least your so-called owner is nice. Maybe a little wet cat pathetic type of guy too but you're not going to judge them for that, would be hypocritical of you if you did.

They bring you to work too, at some sort research facility with a real fucked up layout. Whoever designed this shit needs to get their ass chewed and fired till oblivion, your owner got lost for like, about four times—no, five times!

You and your owner finally managed to find your way. They, oddly enough, didn't put you in a carrier at all, just, have been carrying you like an infant all this time which you are grateful of l than being inside a tiny cramped cage.

Being the good cat you are, you won't bother whatever work they are doing despite the boredom starts creeping in…okay maybe you are a little bit curious…a little peak could not hurt right?

...right?

Oh it definitely hurts. As the saying goes: curiosity killed the cat. Literally.

You're in the goddamn SCP Foundation.

How the fuck did you not notice that earlier?!

...Okay, truthfully your eyesight seems to be worse now that you are a cat, everything is muted! Man, and here you thought cats have better eyes than humans.

Obviously you're so fucking stressed out, so you screamed at your owner to demand more chin scritches. They obliged like a good owner should be and cooed something at you...

No, you do not tolerate that at all, paws went to swat their hand off you (no claws) then huffed with enough smug your feline face could muster up.

…Holy shit you're slowly becoming an actual cat.

—

Then a containment breach happened. Of course it would because why the fuck not right? The universe likes to taunt you anyways.

Your purring is loud, practically vibrating your whole body like a revving motorbike. Your owner is not doing well nor vibing with the current situation, especially after literally seeing their colleagues die in front of their very eyes. No wonder they’re having a panic attack inside some dark cramped ass storage room. The screaming persists outside, as a way to help them as best as you could, you provide a nice distraction by rubbing—more like butting your head against their jaw. That actually did something which surprised you at first, and somewhat grounded them down, sweet.

Their glassy eyes blinked rapidly to rid it from more tears, looking down to you in their lap without saying anything for too long and too still you might as well see them as a statue.

“thank you y/n.” your owner finally said to you, voice barely above a whisper. Hand now reaches out to stroke your fur in soothing rhythm.

Yeah whatever dude, no problem at all. Is what you would say to them if you have a working vocal chord.

You admit this is quite nice...

[aimportantdragoncollector]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: 僕のヒーローアカデミア | Boku no Hero Academia | My Hero Academia (Anime & Manga) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Midoriya Inko/Sensei | All For One Characters: Midoriya Inko, Sensei | All For One, Midoriya Izuku Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Crack, Sensei | All For One is Midoriya Hisashi, Midoriya Inko-centric, Midoriya Inko's Bad Taste in Men, Public Display of Affection, Sensei | All For One Being an Asshole Series: Part 138 of Dad for One Short Fiction Summary:

Inko always had terrible taste in men. As soon as Inko tried to divorce All for One, her first ex came sniffing around to remind her there were even worse men.

[anonomi]

sv_cheats 1

buddha

noclip

*goes into enemy spawn*

It is another beautiful round of pl_badwater and you are one unforunate Sniper.

You are standing among the shoulders of your teammates who bounce on their heels and chatter on and on about things you don't really care about. What's the point in asking about the weather? It never changes.

But you are bound by your duty, or by some otherworldly force that despises you as much as you despise it, to stand here in this spot right next to your Medic, who just won't stop jumping. Before you can turn and tell him that the squeaking of his boots and subsequent rattling of his backpack is more irritating than getting blown up, you see a dash of red in the corner of your eye. Something worth noting, considering you are firmly on BLU.

When you look, you almost wish you hadn't: sliding out of the walls like a mosquito materializing in your sight is, evidently, the RED Spy. He breaks space-time continum, crawling past the physical walls of spawn without so much as a grunt of exterion, all to plop himself down in the middle of your spawn. Only he doesn't drop.

He only hovers. Standing in the air. You eye him as does the rest of your team. You think he might be eyeing you back, but who knows what the hell goes on behind those vacant eyes of his. Not you, that's for sure.

The Voice in the ceiling sounds off and the gates open. You brace yourself.

Instantaneously the room erupts with a mixture of gunfire, explosions, and a lot of angry shouts. The RED Spy is nothing more than a cloud of hot ash and dark smoke. That is, until he surges to life.

You do the sensible thing and get the hell out of the way as he starts stabbing everybody. You run to the wall, as he is very occupied with shredding Heavy and Medic apart. This far, you can comfortably watch as your team dies over and over again at the hands of this, whatever this is.

"He always does this," Spy, who's drifted to your side, mutters. He looks at the proceedings with detached disdain. "But not without reason. What did you do?"

You roll your eyes at Spy, leaning over to dodge a stray arm from hitting you. Looks like Engineer's if the glove is anything to go by.

"What do you mean, what did I do? I was just standing here," you defend yourself. He thinks that just because you can instantly kill the RED Spy it's always your fault whenever he decides to mess with your team. As if he can't do the same. Damn spies.

"Really? Because I can remember three, no, five distinct times last round where I watched him get his head blown off. In a row."

You wince. Okay maybe he has a point there, but "It's my job."

Spy kicks at Engineer's arm. "We're supposed to be on Normal mode, not Expert. Hold yourself back or he's going to turn all of us into medics again or worse."

Spy shudders as he relives the day that the team has agreed to pretend never happened. "Take us to that blasted Smissmas map."

You don't think that map is so bad, lots of good sightlines, but the RED Spy's presence steals your attention before you can retort. You turn and there he is in all his blood-soaked, shambling glory. You can barely tell where the red of his suit ends and where the blood begins. Not that it matters to distinguish, since he's stalking towards you, vacant eyes watching you with predatory focus.

Spy swears. "See you around." And there he goes, running away under his cloak. The bastard. You are barely given enough time to curse him out before the RED Spy is on you.

After a few minutes or an hour, the time is lost in-between dying over and over, you finally wake up and stay alive longer than a few seconds. You blink and look around the spawn room. There is a lot of blood, but no spy.

"Is it over?" you ask. You falter. To your horror, instead of your rough and gravelly voice to greet your ears, it's a hideous velvety tone with an accent you can't shake. You look down and the floor is too close, but more importantly, you are wearing gloves. Calfskin gloves.

You are a spy. You look around to see the rest of your team has similarly metamorphized into spies. You can barely tell them apart, a horrid mix of fancy clothes and masks.

You fall to your elegant knees, holding your head in your hands. Of all the nine classes why, why? You look up at the ceiling but it isn't the Voice who answers you: before your eyes He descends from the ceiling once again, but this time he isn't a spy.

You look into the RED Pyro's vacant eyes as he readies his flamethrower. Not for the first time you wonder what you did to deserve this. Like always, there is no answer, only sizzling fire and white hot pain.

(later, when you are firmly back in your body and the seemingly endless cycle of the war rotates once more, you ignore Spy's advice and target his counterpart over and over. it's only fair.)

[onepiece-polls]

About the crack ship creteria...

I should have asked about this before probably, but I thought 'no interaction means it's a crack ship' and that was that. But...

Btw, here's the submission post.

[lazaruswitch]

Conversation really shouldn't be this difficult, all things considered, like the fact that Damian's brother was apparently only like, an year older than her, and also part Crime Alley kid. In her defense, Damian's brother was fucking weird and off-putting, especially for an alleged 17 year old.

For one, he glowed weirdly at random intervals, and in different colors, like roiling green but also fiery red or bright yellow-white, but only when she was never looking right at him. But she can't talk about it because Damian will flip his shit.

And then there's the swords. Physical and not. Because he had a bunch of fancy swords from the League but could also conjure magical fire swords from nowhere. But she can't talk about it, because Damian will flip his shit.

Freakiest of all might be that Bruce kept being weird about playing nice? Not antagonizing him? Not pushing for information? Which was just, fucking, crazy. THE Batman, trying to respect boundaries or some shit, and for Talia al Ghul's mysterious older secret kid who was definitely hiding something. Literally where did all the bat habits and paranoia go?

But she can't talk about it, because then he got even more weird, and then would basically try to gaslight her, she's pretty sure. She'd think he was like, possessed, except he was his usual self literally any time else. It was only when teenage al Ghul came up or was involved that he got like that.

There was definitely something going on without her knowing, and she was definitely being kept out of the loop. Per usual. Fuckers.

Worst of all - mostly because this was the most inane but it'd been driving her mad since she accidentally stumbled across the guy and kicked off this whole mess - Crime Alley al Ghul walked like he was Yasmeen Ghauri's kid or something. Like sure, the haircut and occasional facial expression or side eye was more remixed Shalom Harlow, but that walk was basically a much more improved version of her attempts to emulate the tigress strut in middle school.

But she can't talk about it because Damian will Really flip his shit. For a not-even-preteen he was way too sensitive and defensive over his absent teenage brother.

All in all, she'd rather not be the one stuck here making nice with - fuck she didn't even know his name - Damian's brother, but she was, and it was very tense, and felt kinda like babysitting, and she's not really sure what he's doing in Gotham at all to begin with, but like. Whatever.

It's not like anyone ever told her anything or recognized her skills, even though she was the one to see the guy when no one else ever caught even a hint of his presence in the city. This situation was hardly new in that light. Fuckers.

Nevertheless, keeping quiet and confused helps no one, so.

Icebreakers. How to break the ice? Maybe if she made nice she could get something out of this guy, seeing as no one else would ever give it to her straight. Fuckers.

"So," Stephanie began awkwardly. Damian's brother glanced at her. "Uh, what's with the Shalom Harlow look?"

He blinked, and she blinked, and then his eyes narrowed and he yanked down the mask that always covered his face.

(Which, hey another stupid thing that made him weird, this guy's face was always covered and no one knew what he looked like, and Bruce just fucking left it alone. But she can't talk about it.)

(On that note, wow, ok, yeah, this guy was definitely 17. The fancy coat and hidden face and shadow lurking bullshit made him seem older but that was a high school face if she's ever seen one. Maybe if she got a fancy coat she'd get taken seriously.)

"Shalom Harlow my fucking ass, what do you mean Shalom Harlow?" he snapped. "I don't look anything like her. Shalom Harlow. Ridiculous."

Damian inflects the same way, mused Stephanie, but aloud she said, "Technically you're more like an off brand imitation Shalom Harlow."

"Why the fuck would you say that -"

[thetaoofbetty]

roberto rn

[lurafita]

Super canon divergence. Like I am diverging so hard here! Look at all that divergence!

I have been thinking about Johnathan Morgenstern lately, and as horrible as he was, I can't help feeling sorry for him, for the way his life played out, hardly giving him a chance to be anything but a monster.

And I love Magnus (and Magnus with kids), and I thought,

What if Magnus was in Edom the day that Valentine sent Johnathan to Lilith.

(Reason for Magnus being in Edom could be because he needed to re-bind his father to the realm, because Asmodeus almost got out?).

And Magnus, on his way back, saw Lilith hurting the boy and saved Johnathan. Portaling the both of them back to his apartment in Brooklyn.

How would the story go if Magnus had raised Johnathan, giving the boy a real chance at life?

Magnus getting the story of Johnathan's origins out of the boy (as far as Johnathan knew at that point).

Fearing the Clave would condemn Johnathan for his demon blood and relation to Valentine, maybe Magnus would use his connection to Brother Zachariah (who was a Shadowhunter once), to get Johnathan both the tools and training of a Shadowhunter, as well as teaching him magic and control over his demonic heritage.

There could even be some kind of meeting with Sebastian Verlac, and maybe the two (Johnathan and Sebastian) become friends and later even more?

Maybe Magnus would convince Jocelyn to let her daughter and his son form a friendship (maybe Magnus suspects about the two being siblings?), in exchange for removing any supernatural memories from Clary, giving Johnathan a relationship with his sister (that isn't tainted by his obsession with her).

And when it comes time to meet the rest, a grown up Johnathan could be protective over Magnus and that stupid Shadowhunter (Alec) that flirts with Magnus.