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#this just about completes the first arc of the story!
astroavez · 1 day
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as the (self-proclaimed) biggest fischer frey apologist in the world, here’s how i would handle his (potential) arc this season.
assuming that fischer isn’t once again a one-off character thrown in for no reason & given screen time only to be forgotten about in the very next chapter with no explanation whatsoever, i think now would be the best time to really push his relationship with mc & get some much needed character development in there.
fischer frey has … a lot of catching up up to do in terms of redemption. as far as fleshed out characters go — he’s just not there yet, no matter how many scenarios i like to create in my head. he’s the oldest twin, but other than the fact that he’s mean, we don’t really know a whole lot about him.
i really think this season would be a great opportunity to do a deep dive into his character. he was obviously trying to impress his peers with his troll story in the first chapter — understandable. he’s a fourteen year old boy, he wants people to think he’s cool (as most kids do). the twins are not popular. on the social totem pole, they struggle to keep a standing, if at all. they don’t get invited to things, cassandra has friends other than them — they don’t have friends. they have each other.
i truly believe that deep in his heart, fischer knows that colby could make friends - easily. i think that fischer struggles socially. his personality, he’s found, turns people away; so, fischer keeps colby on a short leash. colby isn’t allowed friends due to the simple fact that fischer doesn’t want to be alone. he knows he doesn’t have friends, but he does have a brother that he can pull down with him so that he doesn’t look like a complete loser. fischer realizes he doesn’t really need anyone, just as long as he’s one step ahead of colby.
that being said, no matter how bad you want to seem cool — nobody is going to risk their life to go into the forbidden forest to do it. why does it matter so much to him? that should be focused on, i think. mc has a habit of putting other people’s needs before their own, and fischer needs someone other than cassandra, (whom uses the twins as guard dogs more or less) and colby, (whom wants to do his own thing.) fischer needs someone that genuinely wants to be his friend. someone that is able to slowly wean him off of colby and make him realize that he’ll be okay without his brother.
making fischer a core character, whether it be in this season or a future one is so important to the twins’ storylines as a whole. i really hope that the game takes a similar route, because when the twins inevitably have a falling out, there needs to be a common ground between the two — someone that goes out of their way to bring them together again, and i don’t mean cassandra. in order to do that, mc has to make some sort of connection to fischer, as that bond with colby has already been formed.
in a perfect world, they’ll survive near death experiences together & next time fischer decides to impress his whole class with a story, it won’t be a lie.
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heyclickadee · 3 months
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The more I think about The Bad Batch as a complete show but incomplete story, the more I think that if they’re doing what I think they could be doing, the more I think it could work really well from a storytelling perspective. So well that I’m actually annoyed about it.
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dbphantom · 3 months
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Hate having adhd went to go work on my fallout modpack, got distracted while going to disable the steam overlay, ended up in the points shop, went to go edit my profile, decided to change my pfp, found a buried folder I forgot existed, found some old Veneer art I forgot existed, spent 45 minutes looking at all the old photos, STILL HAVE NOT TOGGLED ONE SIMPLE OPTION THAT SHOULD'VE TAKEN 30 SECONDS AT MOST
#I'm shocked I have these drawings scanned on my pc I don't remember doing that I must've done it before I left in case my mom threw all my#Art out again#Anyway at age 12 I was writing a better '3 merpeople go on land to find a 4th one that has been disguised as a human all his life' story#Than Ma/ko Merm/aids EVER did so uh. Take that Jonathan#God it sucks so bad that kid me would've LOVED MM if it just DIDN'T HAVE THE STUPID GENDER WAR BULLSHIT#Literally the entire first and second season is just. So fucking stupid. I wrote a God damn essay about how they fumbled Erik's story SO BAD#I don't even LIKE Erik BUT THEY DID HIM SO DIRTY#THE CHARACTER POTENTIAL AND WRITING COULD'VE BEEN BETTER THAN ZANE B. S1 OF H2O BUT THEY THREW IT AWAY AND FOR WHAT!!!!!!!#Seriously you're telling me a kid who was abandoned his entire life for being male didn't have a bigger impact on the pod than FUCKING ZAK?#That plot twist of 'oh actually Zak was a merman all along' was 100% so they could guilt free write Erik out#Instead of like. Having him face his actions or redeem himself in like. Any way. He just fucks off. THEN the pod is like lol Zac were sorry#We're sorry for literally not doing anything to you because you were privledged enough to have a mother who was super ultra powerful#So you were never really affected by our actions until JUST now. Unlike that other fuckface Erik who suffered his whole life alone#Also then in s3 there are STILL no mermen in the pod. Not even little mermen babies. No kids and teens they've welcomed back n apologized to#NOTHING#God. Mm pisses me off dude#AND I STILL HAVENT TOGGLED THAT FUCKING OPTIONS AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH#Cruddy rambles#God I'm not done I'm sorry fallout can wait YOU ARE TELLING ME THE GUY WHO TELLS US HOW SHITTY MERMAN BABIES R TREATED BY THE POD. IS NOT#THE SAME ONE THE POD APOLOGIZES TO IN THE SEASON FINALE BECAUSE THEY WROTE IN A SHITTY PLOT TWIST?#AUUUUUUUHHHHGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG#It's so bad. It's so fucking bad. It's so needlessly gendered and for what. They could've just had 2 rival warring pods#What pisses me off the most is that s3 (4) completely pivots and never really follows thru with the s1 and 2 story arcs#The writers just kinda wash thsir hands of that because 'hey the pod said sorry to zac' BUT THEN NOTHING ACTUALLY CHANGES!!!!#Maybe instead of having a constantly rotating cast of characters s3 (4) could've instead focused on Ondina and Erik's relationship a bit#Maybe have Ondina tell him she wants to just stay friends because she can't trust him. Have him IDK grow and change as a character?#Maybe so you can show kids nobody is born evil and we all need support systems and healthy relationships to grow and become better people??#THAT would've been a GOOD FOLLOW THROUGH#But no instead u just write him out of the show and never show any OTHER mermen who were exiled being welcomed back#Like u had Ondina becoming a teacher... Why not have Zac become a teacher for all the new mermen who were just recently welcomed back??
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Having a moment rn
Also on a more general note:
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llitchilitchi · 7 months
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I know nothing about minecraft youtube but your prison arc posting has me intrigued. Where can one go to watch it?
ooooohkay this is a big one
first off, the prison arc had a lot happen behind the scenes. we got mentions from other characters about the conditions, especially from the Warden when talking to others about it. also, since the man locked up in said prison didn't stream on the server, we only get snippets from the few visits he was granted, or the Warden's POV when he was uhhhh taking care of him so to speak. either way, you will have to look closely, unless some kind soul replies with a full playlist of Just Prison Clips(tm)
it also depends on what you were intrigued by in particular. there is a full playlist here which I genuinely hope is complete. the clips that include the Warden talking about the prison aren't there, from my brief overview of the videos.
if you're interested in the whole thing, watch all. if you are interested in the part where it gets, well, interesting, with the torture and all that good stuff, I'd skip to Quackity's VOD. (here are his VODs only)
the downside to watching only the torture is missing out on Techno's arrival and The Prison Podcast. here are Techno's VODs, with the prison lore being in the VODs Visiting Dream up to JAILBREAK. would recommend watching the AVENGING RANBOO one as well to get the full picture for the last arc of the prison-related stuff, aka Daedalus Arc. here's a playlist.
there's more, like the Warden's POV after Techno broke out of prison and of course the legendary MCC Prison Roleplay which had dreblr going feral
I 100% forgot about something, but this is all that came to my mind, feel free to ask more questions or provide more links to VODs and playlists. I hope you enjoy, it's a good couple hours of fun.
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sleepy-crypt1d · 2 years
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am i?? losing my mind here??
okay, so, like, subnautica, right?
recent news is that subnautica 3 is in production/in the works, hooray!! literally cannot be more excited about this, it’s my favorite game ever and i am so thrilled to see where the next one is headed but, i feel like, what the next one is going to be about is. . obvious?
who knows!! maybe im losing my mind here and i am just a tad too into these games so other people didn’t think about this but, sub3 is gonna be about the architect home planet. it has to be, doesn’t it?? 
the exact quote from the people working on the game is “I dream of visiting new worlds, exploring intricate alien ecosystems and lost civilizations. I don't think I'll ever get tired of the fantasy of making contact with intelligent life. I also dream about going on these adventures with friends. Getting lost, together.” and people are theorizing that the game takes place either in the past, showing 4546B a thousand years ago, takes place in the crater’s edge, or another unseen part of 4546B but. . .4546B’s story is done? the only loose end there is Ryley, who i would love to see again, but the planet’s mysterious have all been answered? i don’t know how they are coming to those conclusions when BZ perfectly sets up what the next game will be about?
“I dream of visiting new worlds, exploring intricate alien ecosystems and lost civilizations” this??? seems so much like they’re talking about exploring the architect homeworld??? new worlds implies we’re going to a different place, doesn’t it? and lost civilizations, yeah, going through the arc homeworld and piecing together what happened??
“I also dream about going on these adventures with friends. Getting lost, together.” some people are interpreting this as sub3 going multiplayer, which would be okay i guess, but wouldn’t this make more sense if it were referencing Al-An and robin???? especially with the line BZ ends with?? ‘with you, I am ready to face whatever awaits us’ like???
also the second game ended with a cliff hanger!!! it ended with showing us the architect homeworld!!! WHY WOULDN’T SUB3 BE ABOUT THAT???? WHY WOULD THEY SUDDENLY SHIFT THE STORY ENTIRELY??
i dont know, maybe im losing my mind here, maybe theorists on youtube know something i don’t but the plot of sub3 seems obvious to me, because BZ literally ended with showing us where the story was headed.
am i crazy? or have other people also realized that exploring the architect homeworld seems like the only logical next step in the story? to find out what happened? we found out what happened to sam and the game ends with robin promising they’ll find out what happened to the architects. why are people thinking ANYTHING ELSE would happen????
who knows, if sub3 comes out and im completely wrong, i will take that L and dig myself a grave but until then, i will hold this thought pretty confidently 
#subnautica#subnautica below zero#subnautica below zero spoilers#subnautica spoilers#subnautica al-an#is it because they hate BZ :(( it's because they hate BZ isn't it :(( god dammit#sleepy rants#these games are legit my favorite games in existence and BZ meant so fucking much to me - i adored that game!! it was so good!!#not every game needs to be a masterpiece - i had a wonderful time playing it and fell in love with the story/characters#that's all a good game needs#the story of the architects is so interesting and i would love to know more about them/their home and so many people just pretend-#-that they dont exist and it takes away such a big chunk of what makes subnautica the amazing game it is#sorry if i come off as bitchy here- i just care about subnautica a lot and seeing people completely ignore a major part of it sucks#al-an's story is so interesting!!! i love the arcs SO FUCKING MUCH!!! when i saw him for the first time i lost my SHIT#I WANT THE NEXT GAME TO BE ABOUT THE ARCS SO BADLY#TELL ME MORE ABOUT THEM#PLEASE#like i cannot tell if these people are willfully being ignorant to basic story telling mechanics or if they just. . . dont get it#it ended on a cliff hanger- the next game will be explaining that cliff hanger?#like sure we didn't get an answer to what happened to ryley word for word but we KNOW that alterra is pretending he doesn't exist!!#we know- in part- what happened to him- that's why it isn't answered#we find logs talking about how the aurora 'disappeared'#with no survivors#alterra is hiding his existence#also WE NOW HE'S IN SPACE- MYSTERY THERE SOLVED#SPACE#BUT WITH THE ARCS WE DON'T KNOW!!#WHY WOULD THEY SET UP AN ENTIRE GAME WITH THE MYSTERY OF TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE ARCS AND THEN JUST DROP IT???????#WHY DO THEY THINK THAT UW WOULD DO THAT???#angry
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mizi-sua · 1 year
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honkai part 2 has the chance to be either the best thing ever or the worst shit you've ever seen. nothing in between. so until we have more info, I'm excited but also SCARED
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kingdomoftyto · 7 months
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"Carlos, if you could just pause your experiment for a second--if you could only hear me out, hear my hypothesis! I think once you understand the science of the situation, you--" Carlos opened the door. He was crying. She had never seen him cry. He was overwhelmed and unsure of how to express his emotions, since he usually only did so in carefully worded sentences, not with water from his body. "The science of the situation?" he snarled. "That Otherworld. I was trapped there, Nilanjana. I couldn't see Cecil for ten lonely years. I was kept away from the people I love, in that desolate place where you never get hungry and you never have to drink water and so you never live. It is a place that devours. It is a place that is empty. That is the science of the situation, and I study it so I can fix it. Only I can do that. Only these experiments can do that. I'm sorry, Nilanjana; I'm not going to stop so you can tell me what science is."
🫠
#Tyto listens to WtNV#spoiler warning I guess for a book that came out a few years ago now#anyway yeah hi I finished the book#the resolutions to the plot and to Nils' character arc were pretty good. nothing to write home about but fun and serviceable#I personally get annoyed whenever a story pulls a ''you thought this romance would end with these two TOGETHER? lol NOPE''#like we get it it's more realistic for whirlwind romances to end in a breakup and sometimes it's better for people to just stay friends#but firstly this isn't real life; it's fiction. with narrative devices and such.#and secondly WtNV of all media does NOT get to preach about realistic relationship trajectories when its lead fell in love at first sight#lmao I'm just saying. I'm not MAD about it or anything it just made me roll my eyes.#ANYWAY. that aside: it was good. and I do genuinely like the friendship Nilanjana builds up with Darrell at the end#but obviously the real star of the show was Carlos and the completely unprecedented character depth that they smothered him in.#not ONLY recontextualizing over a year's worth of the podcast but ALSO saddling him with LAYERS of guilt over the events in this book#he *KILLED* the *GODDAMN* *CENTIPEDE*#after his beautiful little speech about not killing things just because we don't understand them!#he was just SO traumatized by his time in the Otherworld and SO afraid for his family after Janice nearly got Got that he KILLED IT!!!#and THEN!!!! not only do they find out that the centipede wasn't responsible for the destruction!!#but it turns out it was HIS OWN MACHINE THE WHOLE TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#his attempts to keep everyone safe were what actually caused the danger!!!! AUGH HE WAS ONLY TRYING TO HELP#HE'S JUST SCARED AND HE WANTS EVERYONE TO BE SAFE AND NOT EXPERIENCE THE SAME HORRORS HE DID AUGHDUSHGHDH#...anyway yeah back to my regularly scheduled episode listening tomorrow
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fellhellion · 11 months
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as a purely personal preference i honestly kind of wish sm/2099 had more self contained issues and/or specials, since the restrained format seems to really prompt the writers (PAD as well as the guest writers of the specials) to play around with and explore a particular niche of the world building implications of 2099 upon the characters.
#i honestly want to read some more of PAD's work because i get the impression that he gets kind of. lost??? narratively sometimes??? on the#journey to get where he wants to go w the point of the arcs#the first ten issues are - imo - as good as they are w their pacing Because they would've been the pitch arc yknow?#arc 2 has a Really interesting core idea that its driving at (exploring what the prevelance of cults and new faith religiosity#in 2099 is all about) but by the time you GET to the core of that arc it feels like weve lingered too long in the question of#'are supes back?' instead of exploring what that MEANS to the characters (and the fuckign xmen crossover oh lord <- hater disease)#because the mystery of 'are supes back' is just. honestly not that interesting when you dont explore what Effects this would have on miguel#esp right out of the gate of his first Real Spiderman Identity Actualisation. 'spiderman 2099 meets spiderman' seems to retroactively speak#to all of that characater unpacking i WANTED from arc 2 but the fact of the matter is that - imo - 2 spends too long on the set up and too#little on the implications of the answers WHICH ARE FACINATING ANSWERS.#also AS a hater of crossovers i just think dooms inclusion is very disjointed in the story. hes got some interesting stuff to say when hes#around but when he disappears for like 20 issues and by the time he does a military coup (the buildup to which was in his OWN run) ur just#kind of disorientated by his reemergence in the narrative. comic reader complains about hallmarks of the medium SURE but like.#for STORYTELLING purposes i feel like this isnt the best. like to prioritise reiterating miguels venom abilities so new readers know whats#going on w him but assuming its not going to be disorientating if doom suddenly injects himself into the narrative#where the stakes and buildup are in a COMPLETELY different run and never alluded to just honestly sucks as storytelling to me#like ur going to give new readers a power run down of the protagonist of THE RUN??? but not coordinate foreshadowing for your own crossover#???? like i KNOW that would be a lot of work but its also like. why NOT make the effort to do it effectively yknow?#tunes talks critical#man this went all over the place#tunes talks 2099
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713-4th-ward-g · 2 years
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hauntingblue · 11 days
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Jaya time
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I love these moments of nearly cosmic horror when they encounter inexplicable things (at first) they are so intriguing
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Is strawhat here?! *Megan thee stallion saying AAH 😜*
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This cover just goes hard... Get it chopper
#usopp and luffy wanting to go to skypiea and nami only gets it going when luffy says she won't do it cause she can't... now it's personal#robin getting nami an eternal pose..... yeah exactly#luffy eating takoyaki immediately after he finds an octopus... sanjis speed is no joke#THE FUCKING GUY SHOOTING THE SEAGULL IS THE ONE IN BLACKBEARDS CREW!!!! DAMN#dying swiftly or not is result of your actions??? i guess man whatever#FUCKING BURGESS TOO!!! and the fucking transing your gender virus maker.... here luffy doesnt explode!!!#teach and luffy having complete opposite opinions on everything.... having bad vibes immediately.... incredible its like luffy knew#luffy doesnt fight bellamy bc he isnt worth the fight sinply bc they have different ideals... yeah.. also emerald city when#the pirates that do it for the money and the pirates that do it for their dreams... which is weird bc luffys foil (?) is blackbeard#also a d also a pirate with dreams (the same one even?) but they go about it in two different ways still.... compelling#why dies luffy think about shanks and ace when he hears teach outside the bar i an going insane... why does luffy just stare at him#WHAT ARE YOU THINKING LUFFY!! DOES HE SEE HIM AND SEE COMPETITION??? THATS WHY SHANKS AND ACE TELLING HIM TO BE A GOOD PIRATE??#how do they know about the them. why do they not tell anyone. to this day they havent said A WORD#noland was also from 400 years ago.... we got joyboy noland and toki#also are the next cover stories about ace.... please......... i need to see him#el señor de la noche moment (luffy fighting bellamy) draws near... i am so excited#i love ace being a hobo and just jumping on whatever boat he can find to eat and sleep and nobody refuses bc he's with whitebeard ajdjajkqw#ALSO I MISSED YOU KING!!!! COME BACK TO MEEEE#gorusei kuma and doffy first appearance omg... hello everyone#'if we let redhair act more than its sufficient it could be problematic' does this mean they can control him? shanks sus evidence n.1#'redhair is not one to change the world on his own' is he waiting for luffy??? is that it?? is shanks rogers successor to aid joyboy???#he told something to shanks before dying about laughtale and left that work for him so thats why he went after the one piece right after#joyboy manifested in luffy. thats why he refused so outright to buggy when he proposed to sail together to find it... maybe shanks not evil#lafitte was a cop and is the one to propose blackbeard as shichibukai? for some reason even if he hasnt done anything yet ✍️#whitebeard appearance... loving this in between arc issues even if they are not in between arcs... in between islands arc i guess#see??? why does benn beckman care about what the gov thinks... why would they give af and why would they even think about it#fucking blackbeard was after luffy..... but he 'settled' for ace i am going to be sick#blackbeard should have died when the knock up stream destroyed his ship what happened there....#also i didnt notice cricket smoking so much and trembling akdhsksjk he is hoping he didnt send luffy to die#reading one piece
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(About Thirst by Marina Yuszczuk)
I finally go to read one of the books I got from the pride market and it was billed as like a sapphic vampire love story and I am SCREAMING!! It’s like??? I guess?? Technically???? I went online to go see what people were saying and people keep talking about things in the book that just??? Aren’t a thing??? What is happening did I miss something 😭
#oni talks#thoughts#thirst book#Marina Yuszczuk#side note autocorrect has been FIGHTING ME EVERY SECOND FOR ME TO TYPE THIS NAME I S2FG#sapphic books#Oni vents#like I feel like I’m going crazy??? ppl are talking about this as if it’s like sapphic twilight or as if it’s some super feminist book#and I’m just here like girl where??? EXACTLY WHAT SPECIFICALLY ABOUT THIS IS FEMINIST AT ALL??? (as a feminist myself and not the terf kind)#like everywhere I go ppl are talking about the book like it’s the most lesbian feminist thing and/or talking about the book as if like thing#things are happening that are just??? factually not?? like did yall just pause and go read fanfic and forgot where the fanfic and book ended#is there some big huge thing in regards to this book that I’m missing??? this was supposed to just be a book I consumed while I waited for#stuff to charge so I could listen to a different book and do the dishes but NO! THE ENDING IS SO FRUSTRATING#this book actively frustrates me coz like there’s parts I do enjoy and like and there’s bits of a story in it but it’s like the book doesn’t#even wanna BE a book? like towards the latter half it feels like the writer just wanted to be done already#feels like we’re missing half a book or like it’s 2 VERY different books that don’t mesh well#also there’s so much set up and for like??? nothing? or is it just me and my potential rot brain where I’m just like overly excited#and see all the cool stuff they COULD HAVE done but NOOOO#also like?? stuff just happens? it doesn’t really feel like a concrete story with like proper fulfillment or arcs#it’s basically just oh so yeah thing happened so anyway and then this happened anyway#I know I don’t read a ton but are we this starved for sapphic books that yall just overhyped the sapphic stuff or am I just a unique#anecdotal case?? like? idk I got more books & now I’m scared to read them but I also want a different sapphic vampire book but that was the#only one I got coz it was like a big pride market and the book place was one of the first stalls and I didn’t wanna carry like a ton of book#I am so tempted to go to the queer bookstore nearby to find more sapphic vampire to FULFILL MY CRAVING THAT WAS LEFT UNFULFILLED#like it was sold as this big sapphic romance but I swear it’s like that’s barely any of the book?? the other romances get way more???#am I just reading a completely different book or something????
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10 Ways to Add Sizzle to Your Boring Writing
Writing that sizzles captures the reader's attention and keeps them engaged from start to finish. Whether you're an experienced writer or just starting out, there are several techniques you can use to make your writing more exciting and dynamic. Here are ten detailed ways to add sizzle to your boring writing:
1. Use Vivid Descriptions
Vivid descriptions bring your writing to life by creating a rich, immersive experience for the reader. Instead of relying on generic or bland language, use specific details that appeal to the senses. Describe how things look, sound, smell, taste, and feel to paint a vivid picture.
In Detail:
Visual Descriptions: Use color, shape, and size to create a mental image. Instead of saying "The car was old," say "The rusty, olive-green car wheezed as it pulled into the driveway."
Sound Descriptions: Incorporate onomatopoeia and detailed sound descriptions. Instead of "The music was loud," say "The bass thumped, and the high notes pierced through the night air."
Smell and Taste Descriptions: Use sensory language. Instead of "The food was good," say "The aroma of roasted garlic and herbs filled the room, and the first bite was a burst of savory flavors."
2. Show, Don't Tell
"Show, don't tell" is a fundamental writing principle that means revealing information through actions, thoughts, dialogue, and sensory details rather than straightforward exposition. This approach makes your writing more engaging and allows readers to experience the story.
In Detail:
Actions Over Exposition: Instead of telling the reader "Jane was scared," show her fear through her actions: "Jane's hands trembled as she fumbled with the lock, her breath coming in shallow gasps."
Dialogue: Use conversations to reveal character traits and emotions. Instead of "John was angry," show his anger through his words and tone: "John's voice was a low growl as he said, 'I can't believe you did this.'"
Internal Thoughts: Reveal characters' inner worlds. Instead of "Emma felt relieved," show her relief: "Emma let out a long breath she didn't realize she was holding and sank into the chair, a smile tugging at her lips."
3. Create Relatable Characters
Relatable characters are crucial for keeping readers invested in your story. Characters should have depth, including strengths, weaknesses, desires, and fears. When readers see aspects of themselves in your characters, they're more likely to care about their journeys.
In Detail:
Character Flaws: Give your characters realistic flaws. A perfect character can be boring and unrelatable. Show how these flaws impact their decisions and relationships.
Character Arcs: Ensure your characters grow and change throughout the story. A well-crafted character arc can turn a good story into a great one.
Background and Motivations: Provide backstories and motivations. Why does your character act the way they do? What drives them? This adds depth and makes them more three-dimensional.
4. Add Dialogue
Dialogue can break up large blocks of text and make your writing more dynamic. It reveals character, advances the plot, and provides opportunities for conflict and resolution. Ensure your dialogue sounds natural and serves a purpose.
In Detail:
Natural Speech: Write dialogue that sounds like real conversation, complete with interruptions, pauses, and colloquial language. Avoid overly formal or stilted speech.
Purposeful Dialogue: Every line of dialogue should have a purpose, whether it's revealing character, advancing the plot, or building tension. Avoid filler conversations that don't add to the story.
Subtext: Use subtext to add depth. Characters might say one thing but mean another, revealing their true feelings through what they don't say directly.
5. Use Strong Verbs
Strong verbs make your writing more vivid and energetic. They convey action and emotion effectively, making your sentences more powerful and engaging.
In Detail:
Action Verbs: Choose verbs that show precise actions. Instead of "She went to the store," say "She dashed to the store."
Avoid Weak Verbs: Replace weak verbs and verb phrases with stronger alternatives. Instead of "He was walking," say "He strode."
Emotionally Charged Verbs: Use verbs that convey specific emotions. Instead of "She was sad," say "She wept."
6. Vary Sentence Structure
Varying sentence structure keeps your writing interesting and prevents it from becoming monotonous. Mix short, punchy sentences with longer, more complex ones to create a rhythm that engages readers.
In Detail:
Short Sentences for Impact: Use short sentences to create tension, urgency, or emphasize a point. "He stopped. Listened. Nothing."
Complex Sentences for Detail: Use longer sentences to provide detailed descriptions or explain complex ideas. "As the sun set behind the mountains, the sky transformed into a canvas of oranges, pinks, and purples, casting a warm glow over the serene landscape."
Combine Different Structures: Mix simple, compound, and complex sentences to maintain a natural flow. Avoid repetitive patterns that can make your writing feel flat.
7. Introduce Conflict
Conflict is the driving force of any story. It creates tension and keeps readers invested in the outcome. Without conflict, your story can become stagnant and uninteresting.
In Detail:
Internal Conflict: Characters should struggle with internal dilemmas, fears, and desires. This adds depth and relatability.
External Conflict: Introduce obstacles and challenges that characters must overcome. This can be other characters, societal pressures, or natural forces.
Resolution: Show how conflicts are resolved, leading to character growth and plot progression. Ensure resolutions feel earned and satisfying.
8. Use Metaphors and Similes
Metaphors and similes add creativity and depth to your writing. They help readers understand complex ideas and emotions by comparing them to familiar experiences.
In Detail:
Metaphors: Directly state that one thing is another to highlight similarities. "Time is a thief."
Similes: Use "like" or "as" to make comparisons. "Her smile was like sunshine on a rainy day."
Avoid Clichés: Create original comparisons rather than relying on overused phrases. Instead of "busy as a bee," find a fresh analogy.
9. Create Suspense
Suspense keeps readers on the edge of their seats, eager to find out what happens next. Use foreshadowing, cliffhangers, and unanswered questions to build tension and anticipation.
In Detail:
Foreshadowing: Drop subtle hints about future events. This creates anticipation and a sense of inevitability.
Cliffhangers: End chapters or sections with unresolved tension or unanswered questions to compel readers to keep going.
Pacing: Control the pace of your story to build suspense. Slow down for crucial moments and speed up during action scenes.
10. Edit Ruthlessly
Great writing often emerges during the editing process. Be willing to cut unnecessary words, tighten your prose, and refine your sentences. Editing improves clarity, pace, and overall readability.
In Detail:
Cut Redundancies: Remove unnecessary words and repetitive phrases. "In my opinion, I think" can be reduced to "I think."
Focus on Clarity: Ensure each sentence conveys its intended meaning clearly and concisely.
Proofread: Check for grammar, punctuation, and spelling errors. A polished manuscript reflects professionalism and attention to detail.
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gloryinthunder · 10 months
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I used to really love the first romance scene with Astarion (and I still do) but it hits so much harder after you know why he's doing it. That he's purposefully seducing you for protection and blood, that he's forcing himself to sleep with you, and this is a mask he's wearing.
It's a sexy scene and really feeds into the vampy (pun intended) jump-your-bones version of him you get at the start of the game. The whole thing starts out with him being so confident and suave, saying that he's wanted you ever since he set eyes on you and how you want to be known and tasted. It's like everyone's perfect vampire romance novel.
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He's laying out the bait that's worked thousands of times over and luring you in. And you can just get right to the kissing if you want.
But, you can also stop and ask him, "And what do you want?"
And for just a moment the mask drops. This is not the same cocky seductive face we've had up until now. This is vulnerability showing. When has anyone asked him what he wants? When has anyone cared? Does he even know the answer to that question?
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So he pivots. The mask snaps back into place immediately. He turns back into the master seducer and feeds you a line about shared ecstasy to get you back on track.
And then comes what is, to me, the pivotal moment. He asks you "That's what you want, isn't it? To lose yourself in me?"
Looking at his body language he seems unsure at first, maybe questioning his previous tactics. Then he slightly cowers back, lowering himself as he asks the question. The total opposite of his confidence from earlier where he's standing with his arms out wide.
He's not sure what you want anymore. You're not playing by the rules he knows. Why haven't you taken the bait yet? Why haven't you thrown yourself at him?
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And when you finally Nod in agreement, confirming you're here for sex?
This. This is the face he gives you. He just looks so damn sad. To me, it hearkens back to "Of course it'll turn me into a monster. What else did I expect?"
Whatever momentary blip made him question why you're there with him, he's just been reassured about both of your roles in this situation.
He sounds so quietly resigned when he answers: "I thought so."
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And then the scene transitions into the actual act. I do like to think Astarion enjoyed himself as I'm sure the PC did, but it's hard for me to watch this scene now that I know his story and history without being uncomfortable.
Just that line "lose yourself in me" is so difficult to hear. Because on paper it's so sensual. Who wouldn't want a lover to feel that way about them? But knowing the context of what Astarion expects and believes in this moment is just... oof.
And to me, this is what makes this scene brilliant. The writing, voice acting, and the mocap/animation are all just SO GOOD. It's so delicately done and Astarion the character is so good at playing a role that you can completely gloss over the deeper stuff. But once the mask is eventually stripped away you can't help but see what was there the whole time.
And as we've established, being seen is a whole aspect of Astarion's romance arc.
I originally romanced Astarion for the same reasons I'm sure most did: he's a hot, sexy vampire elf (i.e. everything that's on the surface). But, I keep coming back to him over and over again for the person I know is waiting for me underneath the mask.
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aangarchy · 8 months
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Ok now we're just taking the piss right? Right?
Once again this sort of thinking is removing a fundamental character arc that makes this story what it is. A big part of Aang's journey, especially in season 1, but tbh it does return in later seasons too, is accepting that he is the Avatar, and that he's the only one who can end this war. During the whole first season he is in complete denial about who he is and what he's supposed to do, which is why in most of this season there's no sense of urgency, and then once Aang gets faced with a very real, very close deadline he panics. This makes it even more brutal when in season 3, after accepting this responsibility, he gets faced with the reality of failure. He runs away again, this time not because he doesn't want responsibility, but because he knows how heavy his responsibility is and he doesn't want to burden anyone else with it. Removing the first aspect, aka running away and denying responsibility, it in turn also removes the heavy emotion from his later arc.
It keeps surprising me that people who claim to be such fans of the original seem to completely miss the point of most of this story? Like how could you look at Sokka learning about women's rights, Aang learning to accept responsibility, and Katara's motherly warmth which happened because how young she was when she had to step into a motherly role, and think "well we should remove that." You're taking out all of character development and going purely off of plot (which isn't gonna be nearly as good without the character development!)
Atla is probably one of the most analyzed and picked apart story, has one of the most long running loyal fanbases, people are STILL making thinkpieces about this show, and you manage to still misunderstand so much???
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ambrosiagourmet · 7 months
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I love Izutsumi. She's got a great design, she's a fun addition to the main party, she adds some new tension, and she's honestly one of the reasons I read dungeon meshi in the first place. I mean, "the most cat to ever girl" is an extremely appealing hook to anyone who loves cats and girls (me, I love cats and girls).
However, while I have always liked Izutsumi, I finished the story kind of feeling like I didn't really get her. I felt like I had a decent grasp on her character an character arc (she's a traumatized teen given space to feel safe and open up, and because of that she realizes that she can't grow without letting go of the coping mechanisms she once needed). But I didn't feel like I really understood her role in the story as a whole.
She follows the group of her own accord, after a coincidental meeting and a misunderstanding of what they can do for her. She's never super invested in saving Falin, at least not compared to the rest of the group. Though they do help her escape Maizuru's shackles, and are clearly good for her in general, she doesn't really have a healing Moment with the group the way that Senshi does with the hippogriff soup.
And yet, she gets an entire chapter, the third-to-last chapter, dedicated to exploring her growth and future. She's the one who frames much of the falling action, who lets us check in with everyone. She's the one who helps talk Laios into accepting his role as king. She may join the story part way through, but she is there for most of it. So Izutsumi! What's your deal!?
Well, I think I've come up with an answer, at least for myself, that I really like. Two of them, even! Though they both really work together to form the overall point - Izutsumi is the character that most helps the story face towards the future. Here's why I think that.
So the first of these "ah-ha" moments was when I realized that Izutsumi really is the best supporting evidence for Laios' point about the good things that wouldn't have happened if Falin hadn't died.
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If Falin hadn't been eaten by the dragon, Izutsumi probably would still be a slave. It was because of Shuro and Laios' parties both being in the dungeon to rescue Falin, as well as Marcille's use of ancient magic in the resurrection, that she got the chance to escape. None of that would have been the case if Falin hadn't died. Shuro wouldn't have separated from the group and joined up with his retainers, Marcille wouldn't have revealed her knowledge of ancient magic, and Izutsumi never would have even met any of them. They are only part of her life because of Falin's death.
Though this isn't explicitly pointed out by Laios or Izutsumi in the scene, I do think you can very much feel the presence of it. For one, when Marcille reflects on the journey and how much it made her realize she didn't want to lose everyone, her relationship with Izutsumi is prominent:
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It's the main original group at the top and center, but when you read it right to left, it’s Izutsumi and Marcille who might catch your eye first. And it's specifically Marcille and Izutsumi's relationship on display here, not just Izutsumi's presence in the group in general.
Also, after Laios' statement about how none of their adventure would have happened without Falin dying, it is Izutsumi who gets the final word:
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Izutsumi is also the one here who is the most forward-facing. Chilchuck is trying to correct Laios, Senshi is focused on the immediate future, and Izutsumi is talking about her new goal.
And I want to talk about that goal in general as well, because it’s also interesting how it comes up. In that moment, everyone is trying to remind Marcille of her less destructive desires - to eat food, to share it with them, and to meet Chilchuck's family. All of which are previously established, existing desires. When prompted by Chilchuck to join in, however, Izutsumi offers something new:
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That's interesting, isn't it? It's kind of funny, of course, to see her rambling on about a completely new thing, her own personal motive, in the middle of everyone working together to reach out to Marcille. Izutsumi doesn't even know who Yaad is! But at the same time, it’s kind of meaningful. Amidst the focus on desires that everyone already had, she adds a completely new one to the mix. It’s even the final bridge that lets Laios reach Marcille.
It is, in fact, even an idea that comes back later to help out another lord of the dungeon. The idea of finding new goals and feeling new desires... this is exactly how Kabru reaches out to Mithrun, after the Winged Lion is gone
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So yeah, Izutsumi's presence here, both in what she's actively choosing to say as well as what she represents of the consequences of Falin's death, supports the story's ideas of moving forward. Of accepting the past, and finding new reasons to live.
Which is all really good, and that alone works pretty well as an answer to what Izutsumi's role in the story is.
But oh, oh. There's more. Something I realized after having thought of all this, because I still couldn't let go of the feeling that there was still something I was missing.
And as I reviewed the things I loved about Izutsumi - her sometimes unhealthy ways of coping with trauma, her struggles with isolation, her skill with fighting, her selfishness contrasted with the ways she grows to care for and protect the group, her perpetually guarded nature, born from the seeming impossibility of ever fitting in or finding a safe place to just be herself - I realized something.
Izutsumi...
is a foil to Falin.
Where Falin copes with isolation and trauma by being eternally caring and struggling to say no to people, Izutsumi copes by constantly saying no to everything she can. Falin is often considered selfless, but does have selfish desires that she can’t easily express until a moment of crisis. Izutsumi is delightfully selfish, but chooses to stick by her friends when they need her. They are both transformed, against their will, into partly monstrous hybrids, and they both will have to live with that - there is no undoing what has been done to them.
Falin anchors the group in the past. Izutsumi pulls them towards the future. Neither would find freedom without the other - it is Falin's death that leads to Izutsumi joining the party, and likewise, it is Izutsumi who inspires the realization of how they can save Falin.
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And Falin is her future, as much as Izutsumi is Falin's. Both learn to be a little more like each other, even though they never meet. Falin gets a little more selfish. Izutsumi gets a little more willing to bend.
In this context, I feel like I have finally started to understand just how important Izutsumi is to the story. She is a proof that they cannot just go back, and she is a clawed, happy-to-scratch-anyone-who-pisses-her-off reminder, at that. In any conversation about what the group wishes would have happened with Falin, she cannot be ignored or brushed aside.
She is a reminder that, even in the midst of a tragedy so big it feels like a shadow you will never escape, you have yet to met all the people you will love. Hell, some of those people might even be catgirls. We should all be so lucky.
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