#this one will probably be saturday instead. its fine. it is

[hockeyisforthegays]

*beating chapter six with a stick* STOP. GETTING. LONGER

[toastsnaffler]

new boots get delivered today :-)

[starringthesturniolos]

bite me (part 2)- matt sturniolo

part one, part 2

summary- matt has always hated your guts, but everything changes when he wakes up and finds out your his mate.

contains- vampire!matt x reader, enemies to lovers, smut (not in this part), themes of death, dark themes, high school au! (18 yrs old)

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your pov:

i woke up with a massive headache, my chest heaving. the first thing i think of is matt.

what the fuck, why is he on my mind on a saturday morning.

i shudder at my own actions and throw my covers over my head as a phantom chill runs down my spine.“cant stay in bed forever” i sigh to myself, while throwing the covers off my body almost immediately after putting them back on. I march to my closet and change into my favorite running shorts. as soon as i step foot out of my house, i start to jog, the melodic tempo lulling me out of my morning funk. my peace is disrupted tho because out the corner of my eye, i see my neighbor walk out his house into his driveway. his eyes bore into mine before they rake up and down my body. my heart beat picks up slightly, and it’s not from the exercise.

my neighbor, kit, has been weirdly obsessed with me ever since he and his girlfriend broke up. about a week ago, i caught him snooping around our house at night, trying to get a peek into my room. after that i’ve been trying to avoid crossing paths, and i wasn’t planning on crossing them today. its fine, hes probably taking out the trash, i think, desperately trying to reassure myself. i speed up from a light jog to a full on sprint because i know that once hes out my sight, i will feel more comfortable. i sigh in relief when i round the corner to the next street in my subdivision, happy that i got away from him.

slap slap slap

his feet pound against the ground as he sprints to catch up with me. i whirl around once i hear the footsteps, and lock eyes with him. the accidental eye contact was enough to spur him to go even faster than his long legs were taking him before. my heart to drops and i turn back around, running on pure adrenaline and fear.

“Y/n, stop running and come talk to me!” kit yells angrily but i’m running far too hard to form a proper sentence. even if i wanted to respond to him i wouldn’t have the breath to do so.

“STOP PLAYING HARD TO GET. YOU KNOW YOU WANT ME Y/N. COME HERE AND ADMIT IT” he screams even louder. my head starts to pound and my mind reels trying to come up with a plan. i can’t run forever. i gather the little breath i have in me to muster up a scream in hopes someone will come help me, only for the air to be knocked out of me. i ran straight into something, no,

someone.

“get. the fuck. away from her.” the mystery man growls.

kit takes one look at him and slowly backs away in fear. “who the hell are you?” out of curiosity, i look up to see who i’ve run into and freeze.

matt?

no it can’t be. it looks just like him but his eyes are dark red, and dark black veins swirl under his pale skin like they have a mind of their own. “who are you?” i cringe as i repeat the same question kit did moments before, both our tones lacking a single ounce of courage. fear was all consuming as we stared at the monster in front us.

“you know who i am, y/n. get behind me. now. im gonna deal with him” he says gruffly while looking behind me at kit. kit whimpers at the sight of matts deadly stare.

i ignore what matt says, opting to look him up and down instead in a manner that screams “what the fuck is wrong with you”. but then, i try to think rationally for a moment, this is still matt after all. he may not like me but hes not gonna hurt me. right?

“what happened to you, matt?”i question breathlessly.

“you.” matt deadpans in a voice much deeper than his normal one, taking a step closer to me. he reaches his hand out to grab me. to take me.

“y/n get away from him!!” kit interjects and pulls me too him in hopes of trying to help me get away from matt. and for once, i’m actually glad kits here.

wrong move.

matt is in front of me in a flash. he snarles as he pushes kit with bone crushing force. his body goes flying, hitting a pole a couple of yards away with a loud thud, knocked out on impact. i shriek, terror filling my veins. as if sensing my strong distress, matt turns to me slowly. his arms out in front of him, in what is supposed to be a peaceful gesture.

hard to be comforting when your veins are as dark as your tattoos.

“y/n, we need to talk” the stranger, deeper version of matts voice says.

why can’t i move. im frozen in time as he takes slow steps towards me.

“you need to come with me, y/n.” he breathes out, his dark red eyes wide and crazed. he takes another step closer. my legs feel like jelly but i finally manage to take one step back. whatever matt is, it can’t be human. humans can’t throw each other several yards. their veins aren’t as black as midnight, and their eyes sure as hell don’t change to a deep red on command. so what does he, no, it, want from me.

“w- why do i need to come with you? ”

“because you’re mine” he growls, finally deciding to close the gap between us, faster than my eyes can process. he bends down and run his nose along the hot spot on my neck. he inhales deeply and moans in relief his black veins disappearing. i scream and try to push him off but its useless. he grabs my arm in a vice grip and pure horror spreads through my body for what feels like the 100th time today. i try to let out another scream but no sound comes out. my vision clouds and my head is spinning. then everything is black.

@bbernard-03

@sturnthepot

@hoeformatt

@sturtriple16

@faygo-frog

@sturniol0s

@fratbrochrisgf

@mattslolita

[raccoonsface]

“T-Tara?” Pt.2

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Words- About 750

Warnings- angst or fluff, idk tbh. Swearing, idk what else

Just to say some stuff, I lost my other emails’ password and that email was connected to my other account so I’m on this one now. Sorry for being gone for so long too!

Summary- Y/n and Tara have a crush on each other and go to great lengths to make sure they have them all to themselves.

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Part 1

______________————————_____________

“Jeez the suns out early”

Tara has just woken up from her sleep, she was tired from all the running around yesterday.

She almost falls back asleep because of it but then she turns over and takes a look at her clock

“SHIT! ITS 10:30 AM IM LATE FOR SCHOOL”

She rushes to get all of her stuff packed so she can make it to school before lunch, which is at 11:30, so it shouldn’t be that hard… right?

“Okay I’m fucked… I can’t find my keys.”

Oh Well she’s fucked

————————______________———————-

______________————————_____________

Tara’s POV

“I’m gonna fucking die”

I’m not gonna make it there in time, come on Tara run faster. Damn it’s hot out

Fuck I didn’t bring my inhaler, again?!What the fuck Tara, you’re gonna die on the side of the street. I’ve gotta sit down, yeah the sidewalk under this tree looks fine.

“Damn two days in a row”

Is this heaven? Ugh it’s too bright here.

“Hah, no this isn’t heaven Tara” oh it’s Y/n

“Well if it isn’t then what am I doing looking at a goddess” damn what’s going on right now

“Geez don’t you got the pick up lines when you’re literally gasping for air”

She’s funny, and really pretty

“Okay, Tara here you go” Her and that extra inhaler

I mean it definitely feels way better when I can breathe that’s for sure, but every time I look at her I loose my breath anyways so I don’t really see the point in it.

“You good Tara?” So kind

“Huh, oh yeah” me and my dumbass self

“Okay good… what are you doing running out here with a backpack on anyways?” Looking for a princess like you

“Oh- uhm I’m running late for school”

“Huh, I didn’t know there was school on Saturdays” shit of course it’s Saturday, that’s why my alarm didn’t go off.

“Oh… I forgot it was Saturday” oh my god you sound like an idiot Tara!

“Huh, well you need a ride to get home?” I think I’m gonna faint

“Uhm I mean if you’re willing to” Oh. My. God.

“I mean if you want me to” of course I do beautiful.

“Uh I mean yeah sure”

“Okay, yeah, alright uhm my cars over there”

“Right! Right, I gotta get up” oh my god she’s reaching out her hand towards me, oh I’m gonna die when I get home

“Thanks”

“Yeah, no problem” She seems kinda shy.. it’s probably nothing I’m over analyzing

“Damn this car seat is comfy” no like holy shit this is comfy

“Yeah, I know, they’re custom seats.” Of course they are

“Anyways where do you live?” Oh right!

“Oh uhm it’s uhh” me and my damn it stuttering

“You wanna go eat instead? I mean you must be hungry from all that running, and I don’t mean to-“ aww she’s so cute I can’t believe I survived without her before

“I’d love to go out with you- I mean yeah I’m down to go eat with you” what the hell Tara

“Huh, right, anyways where should we go?” Shit I don’t know

“Uhm, let’s go tooooooo…” I have no idea where to go eat

“How about we drive around and figure out where to eat..?” Phew!

“Yeah I think that’s probably the better idea” she’s really smart… she could be my wife..

OKAY NO Tara get yourself together. You cannot do this. But she’s so perfect.. maybe just maybe. I can’t even fight it anymore.. I need her. I need Y/n.

————————______________———————-

Oh my god. A lot has happened in the past two months. The meaning behind this new account is between the warnings and the summary at the top.

Sorry for the short post! They’ll be way more sooner!

I have a three part series for Astrid Deetz, the last two parts will probably come out after the movie is released because I can’t really get much off of her character just from the trailer

Anyways hope you guys have had a nice day!

[petite-phthora]

A promise is a promise

[DP x DC fic]

[Love at first… murder? - part 16]

<< Prev | Next >>

Part 1

Ao3

---

Private chat nicknames:

Fryer = Tucker

Dann-O = Danny

Other private chat nicknames:

Kangaroo = Jason

PolarBear = Danny

---

Danny has been searching online for a while now for the perfect place to take Red Hood to, for the second part of their date. He already has in mind what he wants to do, he just hopes Red Hood will like his plan.

He’ll need to make sure to get the needed materials either today or tomorrow.

Midway through his planning, his phone buzzes with a message. Danny picks his phone up, checking who sent it. He raises an eyebrow at seeing a message from Tucker in their private chat.

He opens his phone to read the text, putting his date-planning on hold for now.

---

Private chat

Fryer: so wheres my tim drake-wayne autograph danny? when am i gonna get it huh?

Dann-O: wait what? 😦

Dann-O: I still need to get it for you?? 😥😥

Dann-O: but you didn’t even end up wiping the cams ☹️

Dann-O: they were already wiped!!

Fryer: ye but I still wouldve wiped them if they werent already its all abt the intent danny

Fryer: u promised me the autograph now u gotta follow thru with it u cant just go back on ur word >:(

Dann-O: fine I’ll try and get it for you

Dann-O: I did promise 😓

Dann-O: but be prepared that it might take a while 😬😬

Fryer: great! thnx my dude knew u would come thru for me ur the best love ya danman 😘

Dann-O: yeah yeah I know 🙄😒

---

With a small sigh, Danny closes the chat between him and Tucker. He’s unsure how to go about getting that autograph.

He can’t just stalk the guy and nag him into giving the autograph, then he’d probably end up with a restraining order instead.

He could try looking online for one, but those will probably be very expensive. Though, he might be able to trick the guy into signing something? Or perhaps steal one when he’s at the manor this Saturday anyway?

However… Perhaps he can get some help with this… Danny considers.

He looks back at his phone and opens another chat.

---

Private chat

PolarBear: hey, so uh, random question ☝️

PolarBear: you wouldn’t happen to have a Tim Drake-Wayne autograph 🤔

PolarBear: or maybe know a way of getting one

PolarBear: would you?? 😅😅

Kangaroo: Why do you want one?

PolarBear: it’s not for me

PolarBear: but I kinda promised my friend I’d get one for him 😅😓

Kangaroo: Ah, okay. I’ll see what I can do.

PolarBear: really? 😲

PolarBear: thanks!! 🥰💕

PolarBear: but it’s fine if you can’t

PolarBear: like don’t feel obligated to help or something

PolarBear: if need be I’ll probably just trick him into signing something for me 🙃

PolarBear: or I could just sneak in once we’re TPing the place anyway

PolarBear: and just get one of his documents or something 👀👀

Kangaroo: Hell yeah, sign me up. This will be fun :)

---

In another realm, a bright toxic green smoke hits an unsuspecting victim, a crazed giggle following behind coming from the origin of the strange smoke.

The victim, instead of fleeing, stops right in their tracks, collapsing into themselves. Not a moment later their laughter joins in with the giggling from before.

The smoke fades away and reveals a man with bright purple hair and glowing red eyes. He’s wearing a green suit with a red vest and a purple dress shirt underneath.

In his breast pocket on the outside of his suit is a glowing red flower with purplish-black leaves that looks like a rosebud of some sort.

His face is stark white with a greenish undertone and his lips are bright red and pulled back into a deranged grin.

This insane clown who's hellbent on dragging the people of Gotham into his madness is a fairly new resident of the Infinite Realms. He’s a specter. A wraith.

A ghost.

The Joker moves closer towards the other ghost. The other ghost keeps laughing, not reacting to the Joker’s approach.

However, once the Joker is within a few meters of them, the ghost starts choking. While the ghost is unable to stop the mix of laughing and coughing, a glowing green liquid starts flowing out of their mouth.

Ectoplasm.

While they’re involuntarily laughing, their eyes are full of distress. The Joker just moves closer, humming a little tune.

Once close enough, the Joker bends down, getting right in the other ghost’s face. Ignoring the other ghost’s attempt at flinching away, the Joker drags a finger across the ghost’s face, wiping up some of the glowing green liquid.

The Joker takes a close look at it, the grin on his face becoming impossibly, inhumanely, wider.

“Oh, this! This is going to be a right laugh!” He exclaims, cackling a little. He straightens back up before continuing.

“It’ll be the show of a lifetime,” He turns around, “Don’t you agree, my friend?”

The person who has been watching the entire display from the sidelines doesn’t respond verbally, their own deranged grin forming on their face, no outside influence needed.

---

Taglist:

@i-always-say-yea @uraniumwizard @why-must-i-be-like-this @griffinthing @i23432i @imsotiredfanficlovertm @jaguarthecat @arkita-shadow @ilydana

[katsu28]

🍭 this one sounds so much like steve so steve harrington with listening to music together while they both take the day to clean around the house (maybe even getting a little distracted to dance instead)

yessss omg so cute and so very steve!! thank you for requesting anna my darling ily ily <33

steve harrington x reader, 1.3k, steve does a lil dancey dance :)

With both yours and Steve’s busy schedules during the week, it was safe to say the house got a little out of sorts most of the time. Laundry piled up, the fridge had to be picked through for food past its prime, dust bunnies needed to be swept out of corners, and so much more. That’s why Saturdays—while also used as lazy days—were designated for cleaning. 

You and Steve would roll out of bed whenever one of you deemed it the right time to untangle yourselves from each other (and if Steve had his way, it would be never) and slowly make your way out to the kitchen. Steve always liked to take charge of making breakfast for the two of you, sitting you down at the counter and telling you to just sit there and look pretty.

Occasionally he’d wander away from the pan on the stove for a kiss or two. Or three or four or—yeah.  

Steve had switched on the little radio in the living room today, cranking his favorite pop station full blast so you could both hear it as you tidied up around the place on your own. And to your pleasure, he’d also brought out his slightly too small gym shorts from high school due to the pile up of laundry, only yelping in surprise a little bit when you gave him an occasional pat on the butt as you passed each other in the hallway. 

You’d just gotten done with vacuuming the entire house, casting the heavy thing aside in favor of flopping on the couch, eager for even an ounce of a break before getting started on clearing off the kitchen table. Your eyes drifted shut, a sigh heaving out heavy through your nose as you settled a bit deeper into the cushions. 

Steve ambled in right at that moment, having just finished putting all the laundry in the dryer and feeling in need of a kiss from you, spotting you all relaxed and comfy.

“Hey, hey, we don’t take breaks in this house, you slacker,” He chided jokingly, bracketing your head on the top of the sofa with his elbows. When you opened your eyes, he was nose to nose with you, looking at you upside down with the fondest of grins. “Hi. You’re pretty.” 

“I’m all gross and sweaty.” You whined, covering your face. Steve always made sure to tell you that you were pretty or compliment you in some other way, and even though you’d probably heard every variation of a cheesy compliment from him at some point in this relationship, they never failed to make you bashful. He made an indignant noise, batting your hands away from your face lightly. 

“Pretty.” He repeated firmly, sealing his statement with a quick peck to your lips. 

“You’re pretty.” You shot back, reveling in the way his cheeks instantly flushed pink. If you took a peek under the collar of his shirt, you’d most likely see the same rosy flush creeping up his neck. He shook his head, nose scrunching adorably. For someone who dished out compliments and praises like it was nobody’s business, he sure did fluster easily when you aimed one at him. 

You flipped around in your seat, kneeling on the couch as you took his face in your hands, squishing his cheeks gently. “I mean it, Stevie, you’re so pretty. Even upside down, even in those glasses—god, especially in those glasses. You’re the prettiest boy in Hawkins and I’ll shout it from the roof of town freaking hall if I have to.” 

“Okay, okay, stop it with the flattery, sweetheart, I got it,” He mumbled. His skin was hot under your fingertips, and you knew you’d successfully gotten your point across. 

“Say it.” 

“Say it?”

You nodded solemnly, giving his head a little shake. “I wanna hear you say it.” 

“I’m not gonna say it.” You pouted at him and he groaned. “Fine! I’m the prettiest boy in Hawkins.” He muttered.

“Can’t hear you, Stevie.” 

“I’m the prettiest boy in Hawkins!” 

“Damn right you are.” You smiled at him, pressing your lips against his briefly but firmly, feeling him melt into your kiss like ice cream on a hot summer day. You’d honestly spend every waking minute showering your boyfriend with compliments if it got him to relax this much. 

The first few notes of a familiar song poured from the radio that had been long since forgotten but suddenly remembered, Stevie Nicks’ I Just Called To Say I Love You filling the air and causing Steve to pull away from you. 

He wriggled out of your grip, leaving you to observe as he slid on socked feet to the middle of the room, nearly slipping on the clean floor and wiping out in the process but recovering quickly. He aimed a big grin at you. “Oh, baby—do you hear that? What’s that sound, you ask? I think…yeah, that’s definitely our song!” 

This song in particular was infinitely special to both of you for many reasons. But most importantly, it was the song that had been playing on the radio when Steve finally built up the courage to tell you he loved you for the first time in the front seat of his beemer, which at the time was a total coincidence, but such a fitting one that you both decided it would be your song for the rest of your lives together. 

“No New Year’s Day to celebrate, no chocolate covered candy hearts to give away,” Steve belted, using his fist as a pretend microphone. He pulled out all the stops singing the next few lines, waving his hand over his head like he was at a concert, swaying from side to side, even going so far as doing a little spin that ended in finger guns. You stifled your laughs behind your hand as you watched him put on a show for you, which only made him play it up even more, always happy to be the reason for that smile he loved so much. “Come on, sweetheart, join me!” 

“No, no, this is the Stevie show, I’m merely a spectator,” You giggled, shaking your head at his attempts to bring you to your feet. “Show me those Harrington moves, baby!” 

“I just called to say, I love you,” He crooned, holding an imaginary phone up to his ear. His other hand extended out to you, inviting you to come sway with him and you finally gave in, letting him pull you against his chest in one fell swoop. He pressed his forehead against yours, all traces of humor replaced with nothing but love as his honey eyes gazing deep into your own eyes for the next line. “And I mean it from the bottom of my heart.” 

You brought your hands up to cup his jaw, stroking your thumbs across his cheeks tenderly as your lips curved into a soft smile, one that Steve prided himself on being the sole cause and receiver of. It was hard to believe that you’d managed to be so lucky to find the one person you loved more than anything in the world—the one you wanted to spend the rest of your life with and grow old with—and it just so happened that it was your best friend. 

“I love you, I love you, I love you,” You murmured, punctuating each utterance with a kiss to one cheek, then the other, then finally his lips. Steve smiled against your mouth, fingers curling a little tighter around your waist at the amount of pure love he could feel radiating off you, as he was sure you could feel the same coming from him. 

“Kiss me like that again and I just might have to put on another show for you sometime.” He breathed, blinking owlishly at you. 

“Oh believe me, I will.” You nodded, planting your hands on his shoulders. “But first, we gotta clean out the fridge.” 

“And here I thought we were having a moment,” He sighed, shoulders slumping rather dramatically. “Guess expired deli meats are more important than poor old Stevie.” 

You rolled your eyes playfully, looping your arm through his. “C’mon, drama queen. Poor old Stevie’s gotta sniff some questionable leftovers.” 

“Consider the moment now ruined.”

[argumentl]

Osaka Noutei Tora no ana: fan report, Sep 23/24 2023 - Kaoru's talk event!

First I just need to say, I consider myself very lucky to have been able to attend and take part in this event!

I arrived at the venue at about 11:30pm, there were already a lot of fans hanging outside, and almost immediately a staff member of one restaurant opposite the venue building approached me and asked me in a shocked tone what on earth was going on with all these people here!😂 I told him it was an event by Kaoru from Dir en grey, and he just had no idea at all, asking, 'Is he Japanese??' 😆

Some fans were saying then that they saw Kaoru pulling up in a taxi and waving as he walked past them to go inside earlier...damn, I was too late!

After entering the building and lining up, I was eventually THIRD LAST into the venue! My ticket number was twice as high as last time..agh! It made me realise how close I was to not getting a ticket at all 😱 so I was grateful, but I was also stressing, because as my ticket number was so high, I was worried I wouldn't be able to see or hear anything from right at the back. In fact, I WAS right at the very back, there were no tables left and only one lonely chair left, but thank the gods, from that chair I had a clear view of Kaoru the whole time!!

Having said this, I did end up with a bit of trouble...in being handed a bunch of stuff as I entered (q&a paper, coaster, drink order token) and having nowhere to put anything, losing stuff, panicking, and then after that having to balance my drinks/food on my lap all night, but HEY, I could see and hear fine, so its all good!

Again, as far as I could tell, I seemed to be the only person there who was not Japanese. If any other foreign fans were there, let me know!!

The talk started with Fujieda and Takabayashi coming out for a quick greeting before calling Kaoru to join them. For some reason, Kaoru didn't immediately come out when he was called, and the audience ended up having to do encore style clapping before he actually came out 😆

He was wearing a black shirt, khaki shorts, a beanie, and glasses.

Kaoru and the managers got their drinks pretty quickly and Kaoru tried to raise a toast, but as us poor folk at the back still had no drinks, Kaoru decided to delay making a toast until we all had drinks (which, I must say, probably took another 30 mins or so). I'm so grateful he waited for us! 😭😭😭

To start, Kaoru talked a bit about how things had been for the Tokyo exhibition. That big collage board was also propped up on the stage next to them, and he explained a bit about it.

He also talked about his drawing of the Genesa which was on display in Tokyo. It was his original idea for how he wanted the guitar to look.

They then talked about how they came down to Osaka and brought all the art by car the previous day(Friday). When they got to the venue, the people who they had hired to help them set up everything didn't come, so they called the company and it turned out the company had mistaken the date, and thought they were due to set it up on Saturday instead! Thankfully, it was still all ready by the end of Friday, just a few hours later than expected. Kaoru said that while Takabayashi was on the phone seriously trying to sort out the problem, he himself went to the nearby convenience store, Mini-Stop, and bought ice cream. He really likes the ice cream at Mini-Stop 😆 This reminded them of how they occasionally had to go out to DIY stores for extra supplies during the Tokyo exhibition, and Takabayashi bought taiyaki while he was at one of the bigger stores. This made Fujieda jealous, as he loves taiyaki. Fujieda then told everyone that once during Tokyo run, Kaoru bought all the staff donuts from the store JACK IN THE DONUTS.

Kaoru said that he needed extra space to paint while he was creating all the art pieces so he rented a seperate apartment for the short term, just to paint in...but he heard a lot of noise there from people shouting in foreign languages next door (.....or something like that).

They talked a lot about the mangas they all like, as Kaoru had had some of his fave mangas with him on his desk at the exhibition. Fujieda said that as well as being a huge fan of Dragonball and Slamdunk, he is also a huge fan of Death Note. Kaoru found this kinda funny, and asked him if he'd seen the live action remake of Death Note, which Fujieda said he hadn't. This also reminded them of the recent One Piece remake, and then Kaoru remembered the Dragonball Z live action remake, saying it was astonishing...in a BAD way 😂 He even mentioned how Akira Toriyama had refused any association with it.

Speaking of watching things, Fujieda and a lot of the audience have been watching the new VIVANT TV drama recently, and they couldn't believe that Kaoru hasn't been watching it. (I haven't been watching it either, so this went over my head a bit!!😆)

Kaoru said if he could take any manga to a desert island, he would take Kochi Kame: Tokyo Beat Cops, as stuff like Dragonball etc is already all in his head.

During the first half of the event, a screen was lowered behind Kaoru and the managers, and they used it with a kind of overhead projector to showcase some of the new art. Kaoru used the exhibition pamphlet to project images of the art onto the screen behind, which meant we also got a lot of closeups of his hands and arms ☺️ There were also plenty of spoilers for me, since my ticket for the exhibition is for after Tora no ana 😆 (Again, I still feel lucky there, because I heard some women near me talking in the line that none of them had been able to secure tickets to the exhibition at all.)

Just like when writing music, Kaoru said he also ends up with a lot of duds/write offs when he is painting too.

He started having ideas about putting on an exhibition after the completion of Phalaris, but started the actual painting in January this year.

Fujieda and Takabayashi both revealed their fave pieces from the exhibition, and those works were then discussed in more depth.

It was around this time that a woman in my row at the back started bravely calling out comments and questions to Kaoru, which he was replying to! Im fairly sure I recognized her as one of Kaoru's more visible online fans. Oh, to have her courage!!

Ive totally forgotten how they got onto this topic, but at one poInt Fujieda started talking about how he used to regularly get brazillian waxes when he used to be a bandman. And these days he also waxes his nose hairs...you're welcome for the mental image!😂

It was well past 2am by the time the break was announced. Kaoru dissapeared back stage for around 15mins, and by this time I was also kinda drunk.

After getting restarted, there was a bit of casual talk for a while iirc, and then the Q&A section began.

Once again Im going to start this part of the report by saying my question and name were read out!! BUT with hilarious/tragic results!😂 My question was concerning Kaoru's old band Charm, since he had displayed the flyer in Tokyo, and I also asked if he could expand on his pre-Dir band history in general.

Fujieda was like, "Ok, this question is asking about Charm, what kind of band was it, and stuff? I can't even understand the rest of the question..", and then he promptly announced my name to Kaoru too! I'd be lying if said I didn't feel slightly dead from embarrassment at his last remark! 😂 But let me clear things up here! Remember I said earlier that I was practically last to get inside with no table? Well, I knew I had barely any time left to scribble down a question when I got in. I had mentally prepared the question in my head in advance, so I had to write it as fast as I could with one of those flimsy plastic clip/pencil things, resting on my knees, in a totally frantic state, and in VERY poor light...in my second language! 😂 My handwriting was certainly rushed and untidy, and knowing me, I probably made errors and missed out words etc in my haste. I was actually shocked that it was picked up at all, considering its lack of readability, and the fact that so so many of the other question sheets just got passed straight over. So after some consideration, Im taking this as win! 😂

As for Kaoru's answer, he basically said he has nothing to say about Charm, as if HE was embarrassed to talk about this topic! So yehy, I managed to embarrass us both!! 😆😆 Again, Im taking this postively, you only live once, and I will never forget this! 😂

As for the other questions, he was asked various things, includIng firstly which of the other members is most into exercise? To this he said probably none of them, since none of them are actually inherently sporty.

One question congratulated Kaoru on Hanshin winning the series (the whole audience applauded this), and asked for his alternative suggestion to diving off the Ebisu bridge in Dotonbori. (This practice has been banned due to people getting hurt/killed while jumping off the brige in celebration) Kaoru sarcasticly suggested diving off Tsutenkaku tower instead...the audience was audibly shocked 😂

Another fan asked about how the other Dir members refer to Takabayashi, since Kaoru always calls him Tōru. Apparently the other members call him Tōru too, except Shinya who refers to him as 'kimi'(you). But then again, Shinya refers to Fujieda as 'kimi' as well.

About half way through the Q&A Kaoru introduced some of the merch available at the exhibition, using the overhead projector to showcase it.

Another question asked the dates for the fan trip next year, and Kaoru confirmed it will be on the 16th and 17th of Feb. He already has the location decided and the venue booked, but he couldn't say any more for now. The only hint was that is was nothing like all the suggestions considered back in March. The official announcement will be made next month.

Someone also wrote something suggesting that Kyo and Kaoru do should a shared birthday event, because they didn't like having to choose bewteen Kyo and Kaoru's seperate events. Kaoru was reluctant to do this, because 'its him, right?' (i.e We all know what Kyo can be like when he feels like it...or not!) 😅

There were a few other questions about the usual things, food, baseball etc, and after the Q&A was finished, Kaoru declared he was gonna give away a signed nouteikarano2 poster to one audience member. He asked everyone who wanted to win it to stand up, and then started a game of rock paper scissors, with him against the audience. In the end one fan was remaining and she was called to the front where Kaoru handed her the poster! Obviously I lost against him, but I'm just happy to have played!!😄

As the event was coming to an end an audience member quietly ordered two rounds of tequila shots for Kaoru, and the managers! The were kinda surprised, but still drank them! (Tonnes of food and drink which the audience had been ordering for them was still left over though!)

To end Kaoru stated that the streets were still full of weirdos at this time in the morning (4:30am)..so to be careful (Like, its dangerous, but off you go anyway! 😂). Takabayashi confirmed that, yes, the clubs are still very much in operation at this time. So I avoided the backstreets on my walk back alone! Haha.

Much more was talked about in addition to the above of course, he talked the night away! Despite my blunders, I do feel very lucky to have been here, and it was joy to be drinking till morning with him! Next...the actual exhibition!😅

[narrans]

My Borrowed Son | 15 | To My Friends...

Chapter Fifteen | To My Friends…

It was a bit of a restless night for Amanda. She knew it would be a challenge but that it was good for both of them at the same time. Not having Parker sleeping within arm’s length was strange. The maternal part of her wanted to make sure he was okay.

What if he needed something?

What if he had a nightmare?

What if he went to get off of the table and slipped on the ladder or rope? Parker was prone to climbing things after all.

Fretting and worrying took its toll on Amanda and, by morning, she found herself blankly staring at her reflection for several unblinking minutes as the water washed away her toothpaste. There were faint dak rings under her eyes, but perhaps that had to do with the other matter of Parker getting older.

He was growing into a fine young man. He was gaining interests and wanting to explore more things. Just the other day, her son asked her about sports as he practiced his swimming in the bathtub and possibly joining this thing called a Dungeons and Dragons campaign that one of his friends, Billie, was hosting.

Amanda remembered D&D when she was growing up, and it didn’t seem all that interesting if she was being honest.

But Parker was his own person. He needed to be able to express himself and be free to explore the things he wanted to but within reason.

The fear in the back of her mind crept up once again. The omnipresent force that constantly loomed over the disguise that was Parker’s “condition” lurked in the shadows and threatened to rear its ugly head every time Amanda wanted to give Parker the freedom he earned.

There was a portion of Amanda that scolded herself for not telling Parker sooner about his so-called “condition” and how he actually came into her life. The other part, the dominant one, hoped she would never have to tell him. To her, it didn’t matter where he came from. He was her son, and she reasoned that not having answers to his existence was worse than providing one lie.

Regardless of her feelings, Amanda knew that she needed to start letting Parker make some of his own decisions when it came to his interests. If it was dangerous, she would intervein. Otherwise, she needed to trust in Parker and reinforce their lessons when needed.

“Hey mom! Good morning!” Amanda turned and glanced down by her feet to see Parker by the bathroom door that she had left open. “Are you finished?”

“Oh, yeah. Of course. Sorry. Good morning Parker,” greeted Amanda as she quickly rinsed out her toothbrush and stepped past Parker into the hall. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yeah, I did. You?” grinned Parker.

“I slept well enough,” his mom replied. “It’s Saturday. Do you want cinnamon rolls or eggs?” The look in his eyes said it all – cinnamon rolls. With a quick nod, Amanda headed off toward the kitchen was Parker started his morning routine.

Parker heaved his way up the line he fixed on the side of the sink, despite his mom insisting he use the ladders for everything, and washed his face and brushed his teeth. The newly minted teen stared at his reflection in the mirror and, for the first time in a while, felt like he was a little different.

He knew his hair probably needed a trim, but there was something about his physical body that felt different. There was something about his features that felt like they were changing. His mom had explained that his body would be going through changes as he got older, but today was the first day he actually felt a little different.

Parker decided to table that for another time as he began working on a mental spiel for his mom instead about why he should be able to get a Tumblr account. He went over the talking points in his head.

Selina has an account for her art to better her portfolio and gain a following.

I want to publish some of my writing because I like it and I’m good at it.

I’ll be responsible.

It’ll be another way to make friends.

I know we’ve talked about safety on the internet before, and I promise I’ll be safe.

The more Parker thought, the more he didn’t feel confident in his argument. The teen still wanted to try though. The worst thing that his mom could say was “no,” right?

He shimmied down the line and hurried to the kitchen before he could lose his nerve.

Parker crossed the wooden floor, taking in the heigh of the hallway and the vastness of the living room before walking into the kitchen. After spending the evening in a place designed specifically for someone of his size, looking up toward the ceiling was vertigo inducing. That weird part of him felt, for whatever reason, apprehensive as he approached his mom.

It happened from time to time, but that sensation was something he couldn’t identify.

The sweet smell of baking cinnamon bread wafted through the air and dismissed his concerns as his mom knelt instinctually and helped him up onto the counter.

“So, I was thinking that we should start working on the hot water in your space first so if there are any leaks and spills we can clean it up, dry it off, and not get any decorations and electricity wet. I know we set up the basics yesterday, but I just want to make sure it’s all good before getting everything else in place. What do you think?” asked his mom. A healthy portion of iced cinnamon roll was dished out onto his plate and handed to him.

“Sounds good to me,” replied Parker. “And thanks for making breakfast.” He inhaled the sweet scent and dared to lick a large portion directly off of the top when his mom wasn’t looking.

“You’re welcome sweetie,” Amanda said in response. “Then, if you’re feeling up to it, we hook up the chords and lights so you can be ready to show your friends your new room on your webcam by Monday for class.”

“That… sounds great,” said Parker, his mind thrumming with a slight, growing anxiety as his question continued to prickle the tip of his tongue. Parker winced as he saw his mom looking at him. He didn’t know how she did it, but anytime he had something on his mind, she knew.

“Or… we can do something different,” suggested Amanda. Parker looked up and saw his mom’s intuitive eyes looking at him quizzically.

“No! No, I want to do all of that. It’s going to be a great project,” said Parker hurriedly, his heartrate spiking momentarily. “It’s just… I wanted to ask you for something. Like… a delayed birthday gift?”

The concern in his mom’s brow dissipated into curiosity. She nodded and laid her hand down onto the counter, a signal to Parker that they were going to go sit at the table instead of eating on the kitchen counter. He stepped onto her hand, noting the small blister on her thumb from where she probably accidentally burned it while making breakfast, and let her get settled down at the table before continuing.

“Um… okay… hear me out,” said Parker as the argument he had been practicing in the bathroom and all this morning vaporized immediately.

“Okay,” said his mom with a cautiously amused smile on her face. Parker cleared his throat a few times before it clicked again in his head.

“Um… right. So, I was wondering if I could start my own Tumblr page,” said Parker. His mom’s brow furrowed in confusion, so the teen decided to elaborate. “I was talking with Selina and the others during the party yesterday and Selina said that she had one and was using it to post her art and stuff like that. She said I should put my writing up on there and… I… kind of want to.”

Parker knew this was a big ask. Generally speaking, his mom tried to emphasize that time should be spend off of the computer and not on it. His access to the internet was usually kept under mild monitorization simply because the internet had a lot of things that he wasn’t ready for.

As his mom would say, “The internet is a powerful tool that can be used for good and bad. There are some… different… people on the internet and sometimes the things they put out there are cruel or not for young eyes.”

Parker had always adhered to that and only used his internet searches for academic purposes.

This, he felt, was a good resource for him to utilize.

Amanda, on the other hand, felt herself squirm and pale, and she prayed Parker hadn’t noticed. That website was the same one way back when that she had found a lot of writing about “little people.” A lot of it seemed like fiction and fantasy if not for the fact that her son fit in with the exact categorization of these small beings who lived in walls.

Amanda thought about the conversation she had with herself just this morning about letting Parker have a little more freedom and taking his feelings into consideration. He was expressing interest in publishing and writing. Parker wanted to make more virtual friends because, for better or worse, she had restricted his contact with the outside world.

She had to ask herself the ultimate question.

Was this something that was too dangerous?

Was this something that would harm her son?

Would this thing provide too much information for his mind to handle?

Or, on the other hand, would this prompt the conversation they might need to have about how he came into her life?

Amanda didn’t trust the world with her son, but she trusted him. If he was ready to ask those questions and seek out those answers, she needed to let him to that.

Who knew? Maybe he wouldn’t encounter anything or ask those questions. Maybe this was a change for Amanda to start formulating how to best talk to Parker about why he was the way he was.

Amanda swallowed dryly and looked into Parker’s thoughtful, light brown eyes. He was obviously eagerly awaiting her reply.

“Well, Parker, I think… that you’ve shown a lot of responsibility when using the internet. Obviously, I would like to be able to see the website and look into all of the options, but… I think we could come to some kind of compromise,” decided Amanda.

Parker, absolutely filled with elation, leapt up and cheered.

“Yes! Thank you momma!” he said jubilantly. He threw himself onto her hand and hugged her with all of his might. It reminded Amanda of the little boy he still was.

Once again, she sent a silent prayer that she was doing the right thing.

She suspected she would need to have a conversation with Parker, but not now. Not right after his birthday.

“We’ll get everything set up after we set up your space, deal?”

“Deal!”

~~~^*^*^~~~

The next eight hours were a test of sheer willpower.

The hot water was a trick and a half to get set up and that went double for the electricity, specifically the switches that turned the lights on and off.

The easiest part was, in all reality, decorating. Parker chose easily cleanable floor panels and mostly space themed wallpapers. He did choose to have his bedroom in a Hobbit style theme with greens, browns, and little grass patches which Amanda dug up for him. He also picked out a few gardening beds for him to grow stuff off of his balcony and plenty of wires and charging places for his devices.

His area right off of his bedroom on the second floor was his classroom and study area, hooking up the camera and tablet for class. The first floor was the gaming and hangout area. Finally, the attic was Parker’s not-so-secret tinkering area when he wanted to create and design stuff.

All in all, things were coming together very well and, by the end of the night, Parker was exhausted; but not exhausted enough to deter him from creating his account.

With his mom’s blessing, he quickly filled in his email, birthday, and even uploaded a quick picture he took of himself.

The final thing to determine was the name of his blog, which Parker didn’t realize he needed to do.

What did he want to call his blog? His name was already taken, and he wanted to make sure it sounded genuine and professional if other people were going to see it. He didn’t want to make it something naughty and have his mom find out and revoke this privilege.

He stared at the blinking vertical line on the screen as his hands hovered over the virtual keypads.

Then, it hit him.

The name was already on the place his mom gifted to him added with a little touch into his mind.

Parker’s Place: Welcome to My Little Life

It was suiting, and Parker felt like it represented him in a way that didn’t talk too much about his condition. He was more than some fancy Latin name after all.

The screen popped up and, for a moment, he wasn’t sure what he wanted to say. Should he make an introductory post? One of his dreams? Did he even have to use that button at the bottom called “tags?”

He decided his first course of action was to send the Tumblr link to Selina, which he did, before electing to make a little introductory post. It was polite after all.

Nerves and excitement starting to make him feel jittery, Parker began typing.

“To my friends... Hey there! My name is Parker and I'm a little new here. I like writing, poetry, tinkering, and I stream games and stuff from time to time. I'm also a bit of a space nerd and I usually have a favorite book every month, but my all time favorite is probably The Hobbit.

“I hope you all like my stuff. I'm just putting it out there to get over my stage fright (fingers crossed).

“Anyway, nice to meet you through the screen. If you have any story suggestions I should read here or cool art I should check out, just let me know!

“Look forward to hearing from all of you out there and, hey, welcome to my little life!

So long!

Parker”

After staring at the post for nearly twenty minutes, Parker decided to pull the trigger. Taking a breath, he pressed the “Post Now” button and hoped for the best.

He didn’t have time to watch and see if anyone noticed or cared about his post. Dinner was ready and it was his turn to pick the movie.

~~~~~^*^*^*^*^~~~~~

Continue

Previous

Beginning

[thatfreshi]

Radio Silent (Uni AU P. 10)

tw - mentions of abuse, themes of anxiety, general insecurity

The night fizzles out the way you expect it to, disappearing without a word to your friends in the diner, letting your new, yet reluctant friend, drive you home. You'd simply deal with Shadowheart when she got back to the dorm.

Just as Astarion said, he's gone the next morning, but the two of you text quite often. He finds it easier to talk to you through pixels on a screen, where he can pretend like you're not this very real person who knows far too much about him. On the plane ride to LA, he doesn't sleep, which isn't odd for him. Instead, he thinks about the past couple of days and how you've wriggled your way into his life, into his head. Instead of trying to put his feelings into tangible sentences, he makes a playlist while waiting the hours away and catches up on some much-needed reading.

Thursday comes around, and the group is pissed at him, as you expected them to be.

"Damnit, he's the reason we picked my lunch break to do this during anyways! You think he'd at least stick to plans like a reasonable individual."

"Gale, it's not like he chose to go on a spur-of-the-moment trip to California. It's a work thing, not in his control."

You almost sound a little angry when the words come out, knowing that he's probably going through some hell that all your friends don't know about. Gale picks up on this sentiment, and leaves the conversation at that, mumbling something about how they'll all just update him on the project details later. Indeed, you all talk in the group chat with him about plans for the upcoming assignment, which he sporadically responds to. Although, he always responds to your texts, even if he ignores the group chat. Astarion argues with himself about it in his head, trying to reason with himself, saying things like 'it's just because the group chat is overwhelming.' For how good of a liar he is, he's not good at lying to himself.

Friday morning, he goes radio silent, which you're not concerned by at first. He's busy, probably busier than you've ever been in your life. Yet, he had made time to text you since Monday night. It starts to worry you when Saturday and Sunday both pass with nothing new. You hold yourself back from asking if everything's alright, knowing if something is stressing him out it's probably better to just let him deal with it and get back to you. And yet, you don't talk to him until he's back, and you're not even the first one to hear that he's back on campus.

"Oh yeah, I saw him in the elevator earlier. Tried being nice like you said, I even waved! You should be proud. Doesn't seem like he appreciated it though."

Shadow rolls her eyes, almost covered by her bangs that she desperately needs to trim. You're not sure exactly why, but you rush to his dorm room, knocking frantically. It's Monday night, which is surprising. You could've sworn he said he'd be back Tuesday morning, but maybe you misremembered. The door creaks open.

"Oh, hello Tav."

Astarion's eyes are weary, which you chalk up to not being able to sleep on the plane.

"Hello? You haven't texted me since Thursday, what the hell? I thought you like died or something."

"Nope, not dead, very much alive. Got wrapped up in some work affairs over the weekend, fashion people can be quite dramatic. Either way, I apologize. I'm still quite new to the 'having a genuine friend' thing."

"Well, how's your arm?"

He scoffs.

"It's... it's fine. Weird to have someone ask."

At this point, he's opened the door and let you in. You're welcomed to a sight of half un-packed luggage and a stack of leather binded books on the coffee table.

"Holy shit Astarion, did you rob a bookstore while you were in California?"

"Nope, all from the library. Missing out on a week of school when you're a senior here comes with its disadvantages. For example, I have had no time to work on my thesis essay, and I've barely even unpacked from the trip itself. Although, I did snag this."

He takes out a garment bag that has been carefully finessed to fit in his suitcase without wrinkling whatever is hidden inside. His fingers nimbly move to unzip the bag, revealing a white faux fur coat.

"Now, do I wear too much white? Absolutely, but passing up on this? I could never."

You almost feel bad, not knowing anything about clothes or what makes them cool, but to your credit, you know it's a nice coat. He slips it on, happy with his latest thievery.

"Well, what do you think? Is it stunning, or is it stunning?"

In that moment, while you're about to make some quip like 'go look for yourself, you realize he has no mirrors in the dorm, not even in the bathroom that you've only ever caught a glance of.

"I would say look for yourself, but you don't have any mirrors. That's shocking."

"Well, I had the one in the bathroom removed. Guess I'm just not particularly a fan of reflections."

"How come?"

He stares at a detail on the sleeve of the coat.

"You get tired of seeing your face after a while."

"Well, I think it looks fabulous, and so do you."

"Wish I felt just as fabulous."

He lets out a small laugh, shrugging his way out of the blinding fabric. There's something left unsaid in the air, you can feel it as he goes to hang up his new treasure.

"What really happened this weekend?"

Astarion tenses, almost dropping the hanger he so delicately placed the jacket on.

"I... I'd rather not say. I know I told you a lot the other night, but there are truly some things best left as skeletons in the closet. Maybe in time, but not today. I can't today."

"That's okay. I was just worried, that's all."

"Funny, I'm so used to people prying all the time. It's pleasant, getting to have secrets when I talk to you."

He comes back out into the living room.

"Would you like to stay for a while? You don't have to help unpack or anything, just be here."

"Sure, as long as you don't mind. And I would gladly help you unpack. Besides, you have a master thesis to get back to."

"I suppose I do. Thanks, I won't forget this."

"What, like you need to trade some favor back or something? Because that's not necessary."

"You're too nice for your own good."

The pale man puts some soft R&B on, and the two of you go ahead and start putting all his things away. Although, he doesn't let you handle any of his nice clothes. You learn that the hard way when he bats your hand away from a pair of very expensive jeans.

"They're just jeans, I promise I won't taint them!"

"Yes, they are just jeans, but they're also 800-dollar jeans, and I am not risking it."

You continue to ask him about various articles of clothing, what shoots he took them from. He remembers every single one. Although, he does skip out on some details, brushing past parts of his tales without a second thought. You don't mind though, knowing it's probably just things he isn't ready to talk about. At some point you become distracted by the stack of books on the nearby table, and start looking at all the titles. They're all related to ethics, morality, or philosophy in some way, but particularly focused on the psychology of abusers and the abused.

"I thought you weren't a philosophy person?"

Astarion's voice almost makes you jump, taking you out of reading the back of one of the books.

"Is this what you're doing your thesis on?"

"I mean I'd like to, but I'm still not sure. Feel as though the head of the department will be surprised when I present it to him."

"How come?"

"Because I've always made my projects, lifeless, I guess. I've always written and studied by the book, never touched on emotional topics. Just don't want people asking questions."

"So, what specifically are you going to look into?"

"The philosophy of abusers, how power imbalances change our moral codes, that kind of thing."

You lightly place the book back in the stack.

"I think you should do it. If anyone asks, just say you were curious about it."

"That's true, I am known to be quite curious. Now, are you going to help me with the rest of this, or have you given up?"

The night passes by too fast for his liking, as the two of you talk while he prepares for the week ahead. It's past midnight when you finally check your phone, seeing that you've received a couple of cheeky messages about your absence from Shadow.

"Is it late already?"

Astarion checks him phone as well.

"Perhaps it's time for you to go get some sleep darling. After all, not everyone is as extreme of an insomniac as I am."

"Yeah, I guess I should probably get back. Happy you're back though, and that you're okay."

Without really thinking about it, you go for a side hug, and make your way to the door.

"See you tomorrow?"

"Sure. See you tomorrow Tav."

And his smile is warmer than normal, knowing there's something to look forward to after a torturous night of barely any sleep. Maybe opening up to a single soul isn't so bad after all.

[aromantyczno-liryczna]

I'm at the stage of pmdd where I feel awful and guilty because I've convinced myself my flatmates hate me I've been avoiding them and the kitchen like the plague except for sometimes when I pass them on the stairs so I'll say hi or when one of my flatmates visits my floor and I feel terrible they have gone out drinking 6 nights in a row and that got me pissed even tho it's none of my business and they did try to include me and ask if I'm going the first few days but then they stopped bc I literally have been staying in my room all day then I started leaving early and returning late to take away that stress and after went out with friends Friday i was so chill it was the two glasses of alcohol but I thought that maybe I could do this and could go down to the kitchen but it's so impossible and my mum calls me everyday what did you have for lunch and I've been saying so much rubbish like all that food I had bought hasn't been touched even tho I said I've been eating it because she told me earlier how when she left on Saturday she was so worried how would I fend for myself when I was literally pushed into the deep end but she said she felt so much better after I explained how I was doing because I just know it would be 100% worse if i told her the truth. Anyway as I was saying my bread went mouldy and the cheesecake I thought everyone finished went mouldy and I do think my flatmates are nice because this girl asked if forgot that I had some and tbh I want to make an effort but I'm just so damn tired on Saturday they did a pub crawl and I thought maybe that's the perfect time but no i messed that up because I just didn't text them and then today they had a movie night and again that'd be a good way to break the ice but no i messed that up again because I'm sill sitting in the library at 1:50 am. And I was going to go back to my room but there's people downstairs so what did I do I went back to the library and now they're all jsut wondering where I am all week because they haven't seen me in days I do know names but I can't match some of the faces because I struggle with that I don't like being teased like 3 days ago one kf them asked if I know their names this isn't primary school ITS ALL S FUCKING STUPID I haven't used to my voice often enough i was literally going to cry on Friday because that was the first time I had people around me that week and it was nice to hang out and I'm just sad because my best friend hasn't even talked with me that much and he lives opposite me so now I'm panicking that a friendship of 7 years has gone to waste even though it was perfectly fine before move in I've literally been talking to my other friends back home more than i have been talking to people here and I want to attend the daytime events even but then I end up changing my mind last second what if went to the other uni the friends I've made are so nice though I just wish I lived in their flat instead we ordered pizza and we played smash bros so it was fun they don't all live in the same building they're spread out I was worried i wouldn't have anyone to get a 2nd year house with but they probably will because they're in the same kind if situation as me and anyway I was going to throw out the food yesterday something is blocking me from going inside the kitchen I even was meant to do the laundry because I'm running out of clothes too wear on the daily but did I do that? No and at the start I did keep my room clean but now it's all messy again I have to psyche myself up to go to the bathroom even though it's right next to my door so yes it is getting bad again

[rogerswifesblog]

The hat-rule

A/N: hi! Finally a post on this blog without being shadowbanned:p but you can still follow my other blog; @rogerswifesblog-updates I don’t remember how this idea come into my mind (probably some tiktok or smth) but I really hope you’ll enjoy it!!

Masterlist

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Cowboy!Reader (cowgirl?)

Summary: Steve puts readers hat on not knowing the rule behind his actions.

Warnings: alcohol consumption, the cowboy hat rule, reader is described rather curvy I’d say, blow job, female masturbation, squirting, cum eating, cum swallowing, male masturbation (?)

Cowboy hat rule: If you wear a cowboy'hat, you have to ride the cowboy!

It was a stupid idea, Steve thought. Going to a country club? He doesn’t even like that kind of music. But it also wasn’t his idea. It’s Clint’s turn to decide what they’re going to do on a Saturday night and that’s what he decided would be fun. Usually they made movie nights, cooking, baking or going out for drinks to some luxurious places (yeah, the last one is always on Tony).

„It’ll be fun, Cap. You can even ride the mechanic bull-we all should do it”, Clint grinned as they walked into the pub, he and Tony were wearing cowboy hats. They wanted Steve to wear one too, but he declined. It’s not really his thing. He rather wears his baseball cap, as low as possible, so nobody recognises him-even though he’s pretty sure with the other avengers this will happen either way.

Sighing, Steve shook his head. “Yeah, sure. I can do that if you leave me alone about the hat. I won’t wear one”, he mumbled, as they sat down at a free table. Steve immediately caught someone’s eye; a pretty young lady sitting at another table nearby. She was a cow…girl? At least that’s what he assumed since you were wearing a cowboy hat. A sweet smile crept onto your lips when you looked right at him meeting his gaze.

Steve felt a blush forming over his cheeks, giving you a short smile he quickly looked away, straight into the eyes of a smirking Natasha. Her gaze told him she knew something-even though he had no idea what. She was looking at him like a predator at its prey. Like a shark. A grin crept onto her lips. All teeth.

But she didn’t say anything. Instead she took out a flask, giving it to him. The smell alone told Steve it was Asgardian alcohol.

So that’s how this evening is going to be. Fine.

After they all ordered the drink Steve asked for a shot Glass for himself, too, which he received without questions about the mysterious flask. That’s one of the little perks of being an Avenger. Nobody asked questions…

While they were talking and drinking one shot after another, he forgot about the pretty girl next to them. Only meeting your gaze a few times, always smiling at each other. You even once lifted your shot at him, signalizing him to drink-and he did it. Tony noticed it, of course, teasing him about it. “Well, well, Capsicle. A cowgirl?”, but Steve ignored him, as Natasha stood up and grabbed his arm, pulling him with her.

“I dare you to ride the bull!” She knew Steve is always up for a challenge, so it didn’t surprise her when he took off his cap and jacket, throwing both in her open arms. “Watch me tame that beast”, he grinned, loud enough for the avengers and you to hear. The corners of your lips twitched and you put down your drink, to fully concentrate on the avengers that were walking closer to the mechanic bull, probably wanting to watch Steve and maybe try riding it themselves.

That’s gonna be a show.

The huge chunk of a man sat on the bull, not needing help getting onto its back. His cheeks wore a gentle blush, maybe from being tipsy or maybe from having this much attention from all the people around him.

When the bull started moving you immediately saw his legs tightening around it, his muscles flexing, thigh Firm and thick. You’d do anything to feel them thighten around your head…or riding one of his thighs, while he’d bounce it, moving his hands over your body, maybe squeezing your breasts…

You quickly shook these thoughts away, watching the blond still holding onto the bull, but seemingly struggling. Huh. You thought the Captain would be better than that-but before the 20th second could pass, Steve was thrown forward, falling right over the bulls head, landing on his but.

His gaze immediately fell to you, especially when he heard your soft, amused laugh. Once again he felt his blood rush to his face, making him blush a scarlet red. “Wow, Cap, you really show the bull how it’s done-“ Tony’s voice made him look at the man. “Well, yeah? Then do it better”, while Steve left the mats, Tony shrugged his suit jacket off. “You’ll be surprised Capsicle.”

All the Avengers tried riding the bull-Tony being thrown to the side only a bit after ten seconds, then Clint, who made a literal backflip when the bull started moving more suddenly-but he was longer on the bull than Steve, not really surprising anyone. Somehow everyone got used to Clint having weird skills, not knowing the reason for that. Especially not after seeing him pole dancing on an undercover mission.

“Come on, Nat, you should try it”, Clint grinned, but the redhead only laughed. “Yeah, no I’m good.”

Hearing that the Avengers were done, you stood up and walked straight up to the bull. “Then let me show you how to really tame the bull”, with that you hopped onto the bull, not even grabbing the rope. The guy operating the bull laughed loudly. “Well, our record holder, I see. Let’s not make it easy for you”, he tipped his head to you, Turing in the bull.

You’ve ridden the mechanic animal so many times, it’s not even a real challenge anymore. Your hips moved smoothly, sliding along with every move, thrusting forward…making Steve imagine your body naked, riding him. Sinking on his dick, sliding forward and back on his dick, your hands grabbing his pecks, maybe pinching his nipple lightly. Fuck. Thank god he was sitting with his jacket in his lap, otherwise he’d give the other people around him a bigger show than before.

He couldn’t stop his dick from tenting his jeans, as he watched your breasts jiggle with every movement, your ass bounce as the bull started shaking from side to side. With you bending forward he could look right into your cleavage. His dick twitched, while he couldn’t tear away his eyes from your breasts. Fuck, they looked so soft. If you’d let him fuck these? Maybe you’d wrap your plump lips around the leaking head of his cock.

Looking up you noticed Steve staring at you, squirming in his seat. He was observing you like a tiger. A hungry tiger, watching his prey.

Without thinking twice you grabbed your hat throwing it to Steve, who caught it out of reflex. The people around him immediately started cheering, Clint and Tony telling him to put it on, which seemed to confuse him.

And then he did it.

Some people that saw the interaction clapped their hands, Tony whistled and Steve just looked confused to Nat. She only grinned cheekily. Then Clint clapped him on the shoulder and Steve was totally puzzled.

…What just happened?

After a few more seconds you jumped down from the bull, walking straight up to him. Sitting, he had to look up at you, with the few inches you had now over him. Putting his hands on his wide shoulders, you stroked over them, massaging him gently. “You know what they say, Captain…wear the hat, ride the cowboy-or, well cowgirl in this case”, you purred in his ear. Of course, others still heard it. Especially Tony, who had been listening curiously as soon as you stepped up to Steve.

The color that was slowly coming back to normal on Steve's cheeks turned once again a dark red shade, creeping from under his button down right to the very end of his ears. “E-excuse me? I don’t know what you’re talking about, ma’am, I’m sorry for taking your hat-my friend told me to wear it-I’m really sorry, ma’am”, Steve rambled, not understanding what you were talking about. Riding? You? Were you talking about…sex? Was he this obvious with his attraction towards you? Oh god, was he being a creep???

Your soft chuckle made him look back at you, not even having noticed he started nervously looking around. “Stevie, you have no idea what it means to wear this hat, huh?”, he shook his head, slowly taking off the hat and offering it back to you. You took it in your head, but put it back on his head instead of yours. “Wear the hat, ride the cowboy. It’s exactly what you think it is”, you grinned and it looked like Steve’s blush darkened if that was still possible.

His mouth agape, eyes big and curious roaming over your face…his hands slowly finding your waist and pulling you a bit closer. “So we-should we go now to your place? I’d like to-you know-do…it”, Steve mumbled, nervously playing with the hem of your shirt. You took his hand and pulled him up from his seat. Now, needing to look up at him, you winked at the man. “My place isn’t far away. Let’s get going and…I’ll show you some real riding”, with that you took your jacket from your booth, hearing as the avengers teased Steve. “I can’t believe we help Cap to get laid tonight-” “-don’t forget to use protection-“ “you’ll better endure longer than with the bull-” “hopefully you won’t get a heart attack old man-“

You couldn’t hear the rest after closing the pub doors and leaving the building. For a moment only sounds were coming from the cars passing by and people chatting, while you two walked the path, your arm around his, holding onto him.

“I’m Y/N”, you mumbled, only now noticing you haven’t introduced yourself yet. At least not properly. You knew who he was, probably most people in the pub knew it, but everyone was respectful and wouldn’t annoy them with autographs and pictures. In the end, the Avengers were just people. Well, maybe Tony Stark was…a bit different. But it’s Tony stark. Everyone knew him like that.

“It’s nice to meet you, I’m-well, you know who I am”, he sighed, making you look up at him, a small smile creeping onto your lips. “You’re Steve-an awful bull-rider if you ask me”, this made him chuckle lightly and he pulled you a bit closer against him.

Steve smiled at you for a moment, before kissing your head, making the two of you giggle. A few moments later you stopped at your complex building, taking out your key. “Here we are”, you grinned, already imagining Steve’s hands on your body, his lips on your skin…suckling and licking at your soft spot at your throat. God, you couldn’t stop thinking about it all. But he stopped smiling, pulling away from you and looking down at the footpath.

“I…I’m not- I usually don’t do stuff like that, you should know”, he mumbled, his hands buried deep in his pockets. Was he talking about bull riding? Because you could see it, without him needing to clarify that. And you didn’t mind. “It’s okay. I’m not making fun of you, don’t worry-I mean, I’d rather made fun of Stark. He looked silly, you looked…well, pretty good”, Steve still seemed unsure and not amused, which made you furrow your eyebrows. A few seconds ago he was laughing? What happened?

Gently taking his hand out of his pocket, interlocking them you pulled Steve against you. Your other hand stroking over his cheek. “What is it Steve?”, you asked quietly. You could clearly see the blush still lingering on his pale skin.

He put his hand gently over yours, squeezing. “It’s-its the first time I left with someone-I mean I’m- I have done it but never with a stranger-not that I would mind if, because you’re really pretty and fuck-so sexy and hot-oh god, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to-I mean-god I don’t even know what I’m saying at this point. It’s like my brain to mouth filter doesn’t work, Jesus, I’m so sorry”, he rambled, shaking his head.

When he looked back at you, you were grinning amused. All teeth, even with pretty dimples and little happy wrinkles surrounding your eyes. “Steve, we don’t have to do anything…we can just go up, sit down and watch a movie. I’ll make us something to eat…we don’t even have to kiss”, you reassured him.

Only then did he smile lightly before nodding. “But….I’d really like to kiss you”, it was only a whisper, barely audible. It still made your whole heart flutter, butterflies trying to erupt from under your skin, everything tingling…

God, did this man even know how pretty he was when smiling?

A second later Steve leaned down, giving you a gentle peck on the lips. Unsure and hastily, yet it still managed to make your breath hitch.

Blushing Steve watched you for a moment, before once again kissing you, this time longer. A slow soft kiss, not erotic just…gentle. It’s like he was kissing you for the purpose of kissing, not to indicate anything sexual. It was really…nice. To be kissed like that.

Your hand found his neck, pulling him a bit closer, the hat on his head slowly sliding down. You couldn’t stop the grin forming on your lips, while you pulled back and pushed the head in its place. “Let’s get inside. It’s getting cold”, you whispered, feeling your own blood rush to your cheeks.

After entering your apartment, you took off your boots, Steve doing the same with his shoes toeing them off. You shook your head lightly, grinning at the grown ass man, toeing off his shoes like a child. He shrugged, pulling you closer against him. “Don’t say anything. My mom hated it when I did that”, he grinned, not even noticing sharing such a memorie with a total stranger.

Laughing, you went to the kitchen to grab two beers. Of course Steve followed you like a lost puppy, looking around your apartment curiously. “Oh this is pretty”, Steve said, looking at one of your paintings. “Thanks, it’s…just a little hobby of mine”, you said smiling. Steve’s eyes immediately light up. “I love drawing too! And painting! What paint do you use?”

That’s how you two started talking about art supplies and other stuff, Steve having more knowledge than you, but still being patient and explaining everything to you. At this point you were both sitting on the couch, close enough for your thighs to touch.

Taking another sip of your beer your gaze fell to Steve’s head, still wearing your hat. Was he even aware of it? A small smile crept onto your lips. Steve followed your gaze, or tried to, looking up cross eyed. “Oh, I’m sorry”, he blushed, taking off his hat. His hair was sticking out in every direction, which he quickly tried to brush over with his hand. “You look cute with it”, you grinned, shrugging. You grabbed the hat again, putting it on his disheveled hair.

Only then did you notice how close you two were. His breathing against your soft skin…when did his hands land on your waist? Instead of pulling away you slowly stroking with your hand over his cheek and slowly down to his neck. Steve could hear your heartbeat quicken, when he slowly pulled you on his lap. His lips and nose caressing along your skin.

Then you felt his lips press against yours, kissing you gently, but hungry. His tongue exploring your mouth, kissing your teeth. A low moan escaped his lips when he felt your hips press against his bulge. “Fuck”, he whispered, slowly kissing down your neck, while grabbing your hips and grinding his arousal against your crotch, making you gasp. He felt big, even though he wasn’t even fully hard yet.

You reached with one hand to his zipper, slowly opening it, before pulling the pants a bit down with Steve’s help. While stroking his clothed cock you could feel him hardening beneath your palm. Your other hand started opening his button down.

“Fuck, you’re so gorgeous”, you whispered, leaning down and licking over one of his rosy nipples, listening to Steve’s moans, while he bucked into your palm. His tip had already left a wet spot on his boxer shorts from all the pre cum.

One of his hands grabbed your hair, pulling you in another bruising kiss, your lips already feeling raw from all the kissing. His grip on your hair tightened, while he grabbed your hand with the other one and guided you in his boxershorts, where he wrapped your hand around his cock.

Fuck.

Your fingers didn’t touch. They didn’t close around his girth. He was long, probably long enough to touch your cervix. Holy Jesus. You traced the vines with your fingers. You weren’t setted with just your imagination, so you broke up the kiss and looked down at his dick in your hand. “Fuck-wanna suck you off, steve. Please let me do that”, you nearly whined, already sliding down from his lap.

If you had to be honest with yourself, you weren’t sure if you’d get him fully in your mouth-and if you did, then your jaw would hate you for that. You could already feel the pain. Yet it didn’t stop you.

As soon as your knees hit the floor, you started licking his tip, circling his slit, before letting him glide in your mouth. You didn’t want to tease him. You couldn’t. You had to feel him.

When you started to bob your head, you felt how your pussy started throbbing. Fuck, you’ve never been this hot for someone you just met. Opening your own pants you pushed your hand beneath your panties, already finding your pussy wet. Drenched. When you started circling your clit a moan escaped your lips, making Steve’s hips buck into your mouth. “Fuck-“, he grabbed your hair, pushing your head a bit lower. His cock hit your gag reflex, but with Steve’s movements he pushed past it, his dick filling your throat.

The slightly rougher treatment makes you even wetter, two of your fingers sliding easily in your cunt with a squelch. Steve chuckled at that. “My little slut, getting worked up while sucking my dick, huh?”, he whispered, moving your head over his dick like he pleased. And you let him.

You’d let him do anything and everything to you at this point.

Since you couldn’t talk with your mouth full of dick. You only looked up at him, while he fucked your face like toy.

You really hadn’t expected him to turn into a rough dom, after being all shy and unsure the whole evening long. Somehow this made it all even better. And you wetter.

“Baby-fuck, I’m going to fill your pretty mouth-you’d like that, huh? I can tell you’re desperate to have my cum fill your pretty mouth”, he mumbled, his thrusts becoming harder, his dick hitting your throat more often.

Your movements of your fingers quickened too and you started rubbing your clit furiously, feeling your orgasm approach, while Steve was chasing his own, fucking your face without a care.

The mix of Steve’s pre cum and your saliva was dripping down your chin and onto his balls, even some of it on his pants. It was messy. Filthy even.

A moan escaped you, muffled by Steve’s cock, when you finally came, drenching your own fingers while you squirted over your hand, your legs trembling with the intensity of your orgasm. “Oh fuck sweetheart-“, with that Steve pressed your head down, your nose hitting his pelvic, while he grinded against your face, his cum floating your mouth and throat. He slowly pulled your head away, but you felt how his tip was still twitching and spurting more cum. God, how much could he cum?

He pulled his whole shaft out, only leaving the tip between his lips. “Swallow sweetheart, Daddy wants to feed you some more”, if you could come just from words, this would be definitely it.

Steve started stroking his dick, not moving your head, still having the mushroom head between your lips. You looked up at him, still circling your clit gently, before pulling your hand out of your pants, which Steve quickly grabbed and pulled to his lips, licking and sucking your fingers clean. “Mm, so good, baby. Cant wait to have a taste from the source”, he grinned, making you whine quietly against his dick.

After a few more strokes you felt his cum flood your mouth, while Steve’s head fell back, a load moan escaping his lips, while he milked his cock in your mouth. You felt his tip leaving some cum on your lips when he pulled away, his dick slapping against his abdomen, still hard. “Swallow, sweetheart”, he grinned lazily. You did as told, showing him your empty mouth, sticking out your tongue, while you leaned to his dick again, licking around the head. “Such a good girl, fuck”, he whispered, grinding his dick against your face, before pulling you by the hair and away from his cock, back on his lap.

Your hat was still on his head, just a bit crooked, so you adjusted it a bit, which wasn’t necessary since Steve pulled you in another kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth, chasing his own taste.

“How many times can you go?”, you whispered against his lips, stroking over his hard cock again.

A devilish grin appeared on his lips.

“Wanna find out?”

Well, thank you for reading 👀 I hope you enjoyed it<3 don’t forget to like, comment and reblog! Leave some feedback!

Tags: @inlovewithchrisevans

Wanna be tagged? Message me<3

[fruitybashir]

it's been 3 minutes since i read the last chapter and i just wanna ask how are our boys doing right now? will they eventually tell kris' parents that they were fake-dating but are together now? was the first officially-in-a-relationship sex good? how long has bojan been in love with kris? did he realize it during their whole friends-with-benefits thing or earlier?

okay okay okay lets get into it

1. how are they doing right now? well timeline wise, currently they are suffering. but right after the end of the fic? doing fantastic. im imagining since its a friday, kris takes another sick day and bojan skips his classes just bc fuck that, and they just went through a lot and finally have each other again and theyre both not willing to let the other out of their sight again for even just a second. kiki has probably noticed kris has not been doing so well lately, so he gladly covers kris' shift. they're gonna just lie in bed a little bit, answer texts from the other guys making sure the others know theyre doing fine, and then they take jans advice and fuck like rabbits.

on saturday they go to band practice together again and maybe just bc kris is a little shit hes gonna go "yeah the song was nice but the guitar could use some improvement" and maybe thats when they start working a third guitar into songs instead of just kris taking over bojans parts? who knows?

2. will they tell kris' parents that theyre fake-dating but together now? i think kris would want to keep that one a secret, mainly bc he knows theyre never gonna let him live it down and maks definitely wont, but he (very begrudgingly) does tell them. and they have a good laugh about it. for all eternity. bc i think miha and chantal are the kind of people who would find that shit hilaaaaaarious and bring it up all the time, they think its very very funny

and they also obv love bojan and are very glad to have him properly in their family now <3

3. was the first in-relarionship sex good? it was the fucking best. they didnt have to hold back anymore and enough "i love you"s were said to fill a book with it and then some. it was incredible.

4. how long has bojan been in love with kris? god i wish i knew. i just write the guy, i dont know what the fuck is going on inside his head. i think hes had a mild crush on kris for a while, over the last few years, not very deep or meaningful, mostly when kris picked up jan or smthn bojan would go "damn hes handsome" but that was the extent of it - also bc he was still struggling with his sexuality then.

i think over the holidate timeline .. hm. i imagine that crush skyrocketed when kris just slammed him against the wall that one night and then proceeded to give him the best head hes ever had lol. and i think he definitely acknowledged it as a crush then and it slowly developed into more. i think he maybe realised he was in love shortly after kris stayed with him when he was sick? the major factors there being that kris didnt just take care of him, but actually cared for him. he didnt just drop off some meds and left, he actually took the time to stay with bojan, took a sick day just to be with him, cooked for him, made sure he ate and drank enough, kept him company, everything. thats already an admission of love if you ask me. (both platonically or romantically) but that really did a number on bojan.

i even think bojan let himself admit that it was love pretty early on, but always had the safety layer of "we're just doing this for fun, so its okay if im in love with him bc the "only" consequence is having my own heart broken lol" but then when kris wrote him dopamin and bojan realised this could all be real, suddenly there were more potential consequences to deal with and well you read the last chapter lol

[fanficfanatic000]

Edward fucking munson

Eddie Munson x fem reader enemies to lovers 18+ TW no minors

Hawkins was a small town but you were always quiet and a loner you didn't really have many friends at all. You worked at the arcade and it was a decent job except for certain customers like a blonde haired basketball player to a adult slob that greased up the machines..It was a normal work day. You were on your lunch break on a normal Saturday the usual customers came and went until a shadow of a short frame came up behind you short curly hair and a lighter voice "hi um one of the games are not working can you check it out?" You were just about finished with your lunch and he seemed pretty kind compared to others you stood up "uh yeah sure just lead the way." He grinned "hi im dustin." "Im y/n glad to meet ya dustin""So do you like nerdy things?"he said walking slowly "mmm i guess yeah i am considered a nerd...." you thought he was trying to make small talk... "do you like dungeons and dragons?" "Well ive never really played but yeah it kinda interests me "He led you to the arcade machine and it wasn't processing the coins hmm there must be a wire loose or a jam but that wasn't in your skill level "sorry kid its jammed or something ill try to get it fixed tomorrow" he looked slightly disappointed You barely noticed the group of people looking at you 2 other boys younger than you and one much younger girl..all wearing the same t shirts Then you looked at dustin as he spun around to maybe his friends "guys this is y/n i think she should join hellfire" a taller much sarcastic boy says "what! But shes a random girl!!" A dark skined boy says back "but eddie said to recruit people he didnt say male gendered"The smaller girl shouts "look mike shes all we've got.. its better to show up with her than no one!" You just watching this happen not knowing what to say The sarcastic one Mike rolled his eyes "fine but if eddie says no im throwing you all under the bus!" Dustin nodded his head"So y/n hellfire is a dnd club at Hawkins high after hours every other day if you want to come play some dnd just meet me outside of Hawkins high at 4:00pm" you nodded "okay i will be there" they left after that and the rest of the night was pretty normal. Sunday passed so fast you basically cleaned your room and watched your favorite movie than fell asleep and it was Monday you got dressed in a tank top your favorite color some ripped jeans and your converse and your favorite jewelry and threw your jacket on. You put some black eyeliner on and you were ready You listened to one of your favorite bands on a cassette player and it was 3:40 so you drove to Hawkins high and you parked and saw dustin he was kinda like a little brother you stepped out of your car and "Y/N yes! You're here!" "Just on time " you look down at your watch and see it change to 4:00 "okay lets go" you followed dustin through the school halls you remembered see you went to public school until freshman year and you got bullied so bad you had to do homeschooling instead you were graduated now though. You watch the door open to reveal a dimly lit room full of people. Mike. Dustin. Lukas. Erica. And 4 others you walk in and dustin moves out from infront of you "eddie this is y/n."A tall handsome intimidating man stands up from a throne of some kind he stepped around the table and stands infront of you his frame slightly towering over you" this is who you found Henderson " he pinched his nose bridge "this girl is what you found she probably wouldn't know anything about dnd or anything!" You felt attacked but little did they know is that you can snap back " this girl probably would probably win anyways" you said with a smirk he stepped closer smugly bending slightly "you think so Princess?" His eyes meeting yours and they felt familiar for whatever reason. "Okay lets play!"

[starringthesturniolos]

bite me (part 2)- matt sturniolo

part one, part two

summary- matt has always hated your guts, but everything changes when he wakes up and finds out your his mate.

contains- vampire!matt x reader, enemies to lovers, smut (not in this part), themes of death, dark themes, high school au! (18 yrs old)

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

your pov:

i woke up with a massive headache, my chest heaving. the first thing i think of is matt.

what the fuck, why is he on my mind on a saturday morning.

i shudder at my own actions and throw my covers over my head as a phantom chill runs down my spine.“cant stay in bed forever” i sigh to myself, while throwing the covers off my body almost immediately after putting them back on. I march to my closet and change into my favorite running shorts. as soon as i step foot out of my house, i start to jog, the melodic tempo lulling me out of my morning funk. my peace is disrupted tho because out the corner of my eye, i see my neighbor walk out his house into his driveway. his eyes bore into mine before they rake up and down my body. my heart beat picks up slightly, and it’s not from the exercise.

my neighbor, kit, has been weirdly obsessed with me ever since he and his girlfriend broke up. about a week ago, i caught him snooping around our house at night, trying to get a peek into my room. after that i’ve been trying to avoid crossing paths, and i wasn’t planning on crossing them today. its fine, hes probably taking out the trash, i think, desperately trying to reassure myself. i speed up from a light jog to a full on sprint because i know that once hes out my sight, i will feel more comfortable. i sigh in relief when i round the corner to the next street in my subdivision, happy that i got away from him.

slap slap slap

his feet pound against the ground as he sprints to catch up with me. i whirl around once i hear the footsteps, and lock eyes with him. the accidental eye contact was enough to spur him to go even faster than his long legs were taking him before. my heart to drops and i turn back around, running on pure adrenaline and fear.

“Y/n, stop running and come talk to me!” kit yells angrily but i’m running far too hard to form a proper sentence. even if i wanted to respond to him i wouldn’t have the breath to do so.

“STOP PLAYING HARD TO GET. YOU KNOW YOU WANT ME Y/N. COME HERE AND ADMIT IT” he screams even louder. my head starts to pound and my mind reels trying to come up with a plan. i can’t run forever. i gather the little breath i have in me to muster up a scream in hopes someone will come help me, only for the air to be knocked out of me. i ran straight into something, no,

someone.

“get. the fuck. away from her.” the mystery man growls.

kit takes one look at him and slowly backs away in fear. “who the hell are you?” out of curiosity, i look up to see who i’ve run into and freeze.

matt?

no it can’t be. it looks just like him but his eyes are dark red, and dark black veins swirl under his pale skin like they have a mind of their own. “who are you?” i cringe as i repeat the same question kit did moments before, both our tones lacking a single ounce of courage. fear was all consuming as we stared at the monster in front us.

“you know who i am, y/n. get behind me. now. im gonna deal with him” he says gruffly while looking behind me at kit. kit whimpers at the sight of matts deadly stare.

i ignore what matt says, opting to look him up and down instead in a manner that screams “what the fuck is wrong with you”. but then, i try to think rationally for a moment, this is still matt after all. he may not like me but hes not gonna hurt me. right?

“what happened to you, matt?”i question breathlessly.

“you.” matt deadpans in a voice much deeper than his normal one, taking a step closer to me. he reaches his hand out to grab me. to take me.

“y/n get away from him!!” kit interjects and pulls me too him in hopes of trying to help me get away from matt. and for once, i’m actually glad kits here.

wrong move.

matt is in front of me in a flash. he snarles as he pushes kit with bone crushing force. his body goes flying, hitting a pole a couple of yards away with a loud thud, knocked out on impact. i shriek, terror filling my veins. as if sensing my strong distress, matt turns to me slowly. his arms out in front of him, in what is supposed to be a peaceful gesture.

hard to be comforting when your veins are as dark as your tattoos.

“y/n, we need to talk” the stranger, deeper version of matts voice says.

why can’t i move. im frozen in time as he takes slow steps towards me.

“you need to come with me, y/n.” he breathes out, his dark red eyes wide and crazed. he takes another step closer. my legs feel like jelly but i finally manage to take one step back. whatever matt is, it can’t be human. humans can’t throw each other several yards. their veins aren’t as black as midnight, and their eyes sure as hell don’t change to a deep red on command. so what does he, no, it, want from me.

“w- why do i need to come with you? ”

“because you’re mine” he growls, finally deciding to close the gap between us, faster than my eyes can process. he bends down and run his nose along the hot spot on my neck. he inhales deeply and moans in relief his black veins disappearing. i scream and try to push him off but its useless. he grabs my arm in a vice grip and pure horror spreads through my body for what feels like the 100th time today. i try to let out another scream but no sound comes out. my vision clouds and my head is spinning. then everything is black.

@bbernard-03

@sturnthepot

@hoeformatt

@sturtriple16

@faygo-frog

@sturniol0s

@fratbrochrisgf

@mattslolita

[supernaturalkickparty]

ok now that i've had some time to process this week/weekend i think im ready for a little vent? a ramble? just talk about what happened? yeah i like that, just talk about how this weekend went.

ok so this whole week was us keeping an eye on hurricane beryl since we live in the coastal bend out by Corpus Christi.

on friday my mom made the decision that we all should leave, with my husband driving up front leading the way to San Antonio because it's up north and rain was probably the worst they were gonna get.

so saturday she has me book the hotel, map out the drive, call up my sister in law, and all i can think about is how is my child going to act because he has a tendency to act wild.

not his fault, he's 4, he's got that adhd energy, and he's all about routine and this trip really did fuck with his routine.

so sunday morning, i get up at 4 something, i'm double checking the bags, double checking the local news, weather channel, packing lunch boxes for him to snack on the drive cause San Antonio is like 2 hours away, even if we go through Mathis, its like 2 hours.

im doing this and im trying to wake my husband up so he can help me load up the car and hes sound asleep 🙃

so im hauling ass to clean up because everyone all decided they wanted breakfast instead of buying tacos on the way out of town and my husband and child wake up at 6 to get ready for the trip and im like its fine. its all fine and honestly i wanted to scream.

we all load up in the two cars and my mom and her husband dont follow the gps well and they wanted to follow us instead of the gps because they're too set in their ways and thankfully my brother talked them into typing in the hotel address into the gps in case we got separated on the road.

anyway the fist half of the trip went without a hitch, until we hit the fist pit stop.

my child almost threw himself on the floor for a captain america plushie, one he ALREADY HAS and for a teddy bear backpack. it looked mangy af.

we get back on the road and he's eating his snack box, my other brother rode with us to help with the child and im grateful for that.

it wasn't until pit stop number 2 that all hell broke loose.

he went to the bathroom and on the way into the gas station they had a fuckload of looney tunes merch and those tweety palatas and he wanted one but we told him no cause it'll melt in the car and hes gonna gag when he feels it on him. he has a lot of texture issues and i was trying to avoid it.

instead we carried him out like a surf board and we had a 30 minute meltdown to deal with complete with spitting, kicking the back of the seat, taking his shoes off and trying to throw them at us, biting his blanky, throwing his stuffed animals at my brother who was trying to comfort him, and it was just a lot to deal with while we were trying to hear the gps and having to ignore my moms calls so we dont miss an exit.

we get to the hotel and my mom starts going off on how we drove so fast and that she almost lost us and she wasn't going anywhere and we were gonna have to go to the store for her.

i had to remind her we were gonna stay at my sister in laws because we dont have money for a room. we barely had money for gas.

we help her settle in and shes mad over the fact that the heb, walmart, and whataburger are a good distant aways and she was gonna have to drive to places and didn't want to. she claims i lied to her on the places nearby. i told her i didnt lie and i showed her on maps where the places were.

it was still too far for her. so me and my husband got our things and her list and bought what she asked for.

we got back to the room and everyone's on edge/upset and i feel so uncomfortable i wanna scream.

my child is wanting to run around and we all had to remind him its a hotel room and he can't be too loud or we can get kicked out. we ended up leaving to my inlaws after we got done running errands for my mom since her, her husband, and my brothers refused to drive anywhere in the city.

getting to my in laws was like driving to fury road oh my fucking god.

the construction!!!! i hate it. i'll never complain about Corpus traffic or construction again.

child ends up falling asleep on the way to the in laws and he ends up waking up when we get there and he makes himself right at home. he's never met my husbands sisters so it was really sweet how easy he went with them but also scary cause my child is too damn friendly and loveable.

the stay was stressful cause the house is not kid proof and thats not their fault, its their space, my sister in law and her husband have their apartment decorated their way and my younger sister in law has her space decorated her way.

we eventually get settled in and go to bed just to get a 5am wakeup call from my mom that the storm shifted waaaay the hell away and we can head back to town today.

packing up in chingas, waking up a sleepy child and having to guide him to the bathroom while hes half asleep was a thing, had to pack lunchboxes for him and then we were off.

we settled in and i wanted to sleep all day and i still haven't napped but i feel more relaxed now since the child is asleep and we unpacked and i feel better knowing the storm shifted.

the way back was a lot easier. one pit stop and the child didn't need to go to the bathroom until we got home so drive home was definitely a win.

i hope theres no more storms the rest of this hurricane season and i hope we dont have to leave anymore because i can't do this shit again.

[maconthepen]

What a bagel taught me about how to live.

There's a small grocery shop at the end of my street.

When I say small, I mean tiny. In fact, I often avoid it on Saturdays. Not being the smallest person in stature, I tend to get stuck awkwardly on boxes of fruit the owners haven't unpacked. All would be forgiven and fine if not for the withering stares of the designer activewear crowd who, like circling sharks, single me out as Not One of Their Own. Saturdays just aren't made for that kind of negativity, so I tend to make myself scarce.

But the staff in the shop are lovely and they pride themselves on stocking the best baked goods in the area. Specifically, their bagels. It's no word of a lie. Those bagels stand tall and proud, whether they're plain, poppyseed, sesame, or blueberry. If a food had a sixth sense that it was about to be bought and devoured, these bagels would have it. If I were to get hopelessly anthropomorphic about it, I'd say they exuded smugness. I can't blame them. Were I that perfectly formed, I'd be smug too.

The kicker is that they aren't stocked every day, and today I really, really wanted one. I wanted to pile it high with cream cheese and salmon and to garnish it with care, like it came from a cafe. The idea fixated itself as soon as I was awake, and I couldn't stop thinking about it.

The grocery shop was bagel-less.

Instead, trying to delude myself into believing I could salvage the situation, I went to my local chain supermarket and bought a subpar pack. Little did I know how subpar they would be. My lunch in the picture above looks amazing — and its toppings were exceptional — but underneath was a blasphemous affair. These were the worst bagels I'd bought in my life. They were small and dense and probably overbaked, and I missed the high, chewy, pillowy goodness of the ones from down the street.

Make no mistake: I ate, and I was grateful for the food, but this exceedingly ordinary experience taught me a lesson I've been halfway to learning in the past few weeks:

Everything has its season.

I'm still learning to go with those seasons. A long bout of depression has meant that, for months, I haven't been especially keen on leaving the house. I've delegated all grocery shops to delivery services from major supermarkets, and when the fresh produce that arrived in stiff paper bags seemed bland and tasteless, I assumed it was the fault of my taste buds.

Little did I know, until I started on antidepressants and began going to counselling again, how fine a thing it was to wander out into the world — to the market, the park, the small grocery shop down the street — and really see what was there. To smell the in-season fruit. To taste air that wasn't stale. To buy bagels one day and almond croissants the next, because that's what the world is offering up, and it was finite, so I'd best enjoy it while it lasts. I've been cooking with the weather again, taking care to make soup on cold days and face-meltingly spicy, fresh salads when the sun is out.

I've been caring for myself better, but I have also been caring more about the world. In doing so, the world and I feel back in sync. The people in it feel closer. About a week ago, buoyed by all the new conversations I've been having with people, I realised that I didn't know the name of the man who owned the grocery shop along the street. For years, surrounded by a fog of my own brain's making, I hadn't asked.

It turned out his name was Dan. He asked mine in return, and I told him.

"You're lucky this morning," he said, smiling his usual warm and genuine smile. "That's the last of the sesame ones."

Then, as I was leaving the shop, he called: "Oh, I nearly forgot! You're a Swans fan, aren't you? Good luck today."

Bewildered, I turned back around to face him. It was footie finals season. I wasn't wearing my team's scarf, but I had been some months ago when I dropped in for a packet of chips on the way to the game. I'd been in and out of the shop in thirty seconds, but Dan remembered the scarf all the same.

I felt the hot sting of guilt return. I couldn't believe I'd never asked his name.

But then I recalled a visit on a freezing June day. Dan, nameless back then, had been rubbing his hands together near a small space heater under the counter. He'd been wearing a black and white hat.

I ventured, "We might be playing the 'pies next week. Here's to both our teams making it through."

He nodded. "Sounds like the perfect occasion for a loaded bagel and a beer."

It was a Saturday. I wish I could say the activewear crowd parted like the red sea, but they just looked on, as impatient as ever as I left through the shop's sliding door. The sun was out. It was a beautiful day — the kind that still felt like a novelty after a long winter — and I realised I didn't give a shit what anyone thought of me. I had Dan's name and his bagels, and my life was in a season of joy.